#I’ll be better tomorrow I think
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#this is the painting equivalent of my pencil sketches#I tried to go fast & just be intuitive with the colors#I think it took me 45 min?#im getting used to adding the color🫶 & im excited to keep going!!!#esp since I’ve started making it look more watercolory & I’m getting better at knowing what colors I want to use#bc tbh I love pencil bc I just need to think of light & shadows but with color there is the whole thought process behind#what do I even choose😳 (I just stick with greens bc Slytherin & also my favorite color🙏)#anyways kind of a scandalous sketch😳😳 but I love it…💘#hope you all had an amazing day🥹🫶#tomorrow I’ll do some sketches and start answering ask mountain🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart#sebastian sallow x mc
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My parents decided to just roam for the month of December. Who knows why. They said they didn’t want to do holiday stuff until the new year. Found out later they’d had thanksgiving with my nana. Honestly it woulda been fine if they’d just said they didn’t want the kids over? But instead mom decided lying that they weren’t doing it at all was easier.
My transphobic sister is having a baby so they decided to drive down to her state to see her, after telling me they’d come to my choir concert. And again. That’s fine, I get that the baby is a bigger deal.
But mom asked me to look after her chickens while they’re gone. I dragged myself over aching in every bone from overexertion yesterday, including the concert. When I called concerned about one of her hens dragging a lame foot around she told me that’s just how that chickens always been and not to worry about it. Didn’t ask me how the concert had been.
When my betrothed got home I was deep in sadness pits. I told them, “I feel like that chicken. Hobbling around receiving inferior care and attention from my mom.”
They baked cookies and we cuddled about it.
#ramblies#tomorrow will be better#donuts and dogs is set to be super rainy but if I’m less achey that would be great and I’ll at least have a donut#and we can have another couch day which I’ll probably still need#it’s not the first time I’ve been excluded for family stuff#probably because I tell my mom that her animal husbandry is insufficient and protest the hateful way my sibling talk about gay people#I’d rather do holidays with people who actually love the person I am rather than loving an image of who they think I am#but it still sucks to have parents blow you off
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Hiyobuki Week Day 3: sleeping together
So another instance of Emily Had No Ideas, I couldn’t think of what to draw lol so I went with the path of least resistance and just took a picture of my little melting bead guys in bed (fun fact I actually made all the characters from the three main games lol)
So hopefully that’s okay
#I couldn’t think of an interesting interpretation of the prompt sorryyyyy#fingers crossed this counts#I’ll have something better tomorrow#danganronpa#sdr2#hiyobukiweek2024#hiyoko saionji#ibuki mioda#hiyobuki#danganronpa ships
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finally in bed, about halfway unpacked. all my clothes r out at least, it’s mostly just getting tech set up + decorations that i have left. my head hurts (tired), my legs hurt (sore from squatting and lifting), and i really need to purchase both a mattress protector and a foam cover (uncomfortable), but hey i’m here
#marzi speaks#i’m really really tired and like. more than a little nervous#i feel like. i’m not ready. even though i am. even though i’ve done this before#i dunno. i’m scared i think#which. scared happens. i’ll probably call my parents tomorrow if i have time#my other roommate shows up tomorrow tho so we’ll see#i need to make a target run too. gotta get some essentials#like a shower curtain. and a bath mat. and towels. and maybe laundry detergent? i’m not sure what our sharing rules are yet#i dunno. i just feel….. weird. i feel weird and odd and it’s kind of uncomfortable. but i guess i shouldn’t be surprised. this is scary#i have to vaccuum and clean tomorrow too which i’m just. not looking forward to even tho it shouldn’t take long#i just like! don’t wanna! i’m really really tired#i’ll probably feel better in the morning?#it’s just. a lot of big days in a row and i don’t always have that kind of energy#sorry for the stressposting i’m just. ghhh. yanno
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besties how are you guys fighting off the pre-election day anxiety attacks… bc i fear i am not
#i’ve literally been shaking all day and tomorrow i just have to go to class and#pretend the state of my future and this countries democracy isn’t being decided#like i voted early#i did all i could do#but it doesn’t make me feel any better#i don’t think i’ll feel better until we get a harris/waltz victory#and i’m just like#having flashbacks to when i was 13 and SO excited for hillary clinton to become president#anyways#i need to chill out and eat some cheez its or smth idk
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i have socialised 2 days in a row and 3 of the past 5 days i don’t think i have so much since 2021 i think i need to fall apart now
#and tomorrow not but the days after ues lord he’ll#i am happy to be living but it hurts my brain but im not sure if dying hurts more#it maybe hurts deeper but all the time whereas the momentary pain after socialising is more intense but i have to make sacrifice bc l#life is a lot better now than it was and i have to endure these things to know it#bc the pain is never going away#but i am strong enough for this i think#or I’ll try at least until i cannot#but i already fell apart last night and did it again today#i can be me even when I don’t feel like me actually#cos I never feel like me#so I may as well see what happens#wot am I even saying rn
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Okay actually a couple library branches are hiring, but they’re all like 30 mins away from me. Which is fine but would be annoying daily in combination with my class schedule… BUT The requirements aren’t crazy (1 year customer service, which I TTTEEECCCHNICALLY have on paper) so I feel like I could totally apply despite having no library experience…. Should I
#workposting#I feel like I would hate the commute but I think I’d love working at a library#also they pay surprisingly well? better than the other two jobs I’ve had#both of my parents are librarians so I feel like I should get some credit for that 😎 lol#I’ll apply tomorrow bc why not#if they require a ton of hours then I’ll just. tell them I can’t#it’d be nice to have some extra money and excuse to get out of the house though#and working at a library (esp in this area where they do tons of events) seems like it’d be fulfilling in a community service sense#okay I should probably sleep goodnight
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the way ur so sweet to us anons actually makes me melt and feel safe tysm for everything you do ur my fav könig writer
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ily <3 <3 <3 🩷💕💗🩷💗💕🩷
#no fr bc y’all are giving me the same energy right back#like i don’t think you guys understand what this community does for me like it’s silly but#RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR#i love y’all#y’all are so nice and sweet and lovely and it’s so silly but y’all have changed my life for the better!!#writing has been SO good for me#and y’all’s nice words and support only motivates me more#also if you’re looking for a chill safe space to talk with more konig fuckers we have a lovely discord channel with good vibes only#everyone’s welcome except minors and meanie heads#anyway this counts as both dads one (1) alloted goof a day and also the one alloted ooegy gooey moment a day#i’ll make it up to y’all with drabbles tomorrow#thank you sweet anon#*smooch*#konig#uhohask#könig
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I’m so stupid. but I am also free
#I really think I came very close to getting frostbite on my legs#because I decided to go walk by the lake before going home#to look for pancake ice#I walked for 20 mins but couldn’t make it all the way out where I needed to be bc it’s like wind chill 5° outside#and I was adequately insulated on top but my jeans were PATHETIC. EMBARRASSING. DO BETTER.#anyway maybe I’ll go out again tomorrow and take my wool leggings#bc man do I feel invigorated that was basically a winter hike GOD. THAT WAS GREAT
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Baylan “faith in his padawan” Skoll? Baylan “protective father figure to Shin” Skoll? Baylan “threw Ahsoka off a cliff for knocking Shin out” Skoll? Baylan “vulnerable and open with Shin” Skoll? Baylan “comfortably touching Shin’s shoulder” Skoll? Baylan “openly smiles when he’s alone with Shin” Skoll? Baylan “has trained and raised Shin since she was young” Skoll? Baylan “clearly a comforting presence for Shin” Skoll?
That Baylan Skoll? PARTING FROM HIS DAUGHTER HER?
#this is the emotional side of me speaking#which is very emotional#I was going to write some big big analysis about their relationship#try and cover some things that are wreaking havoc in my brain#but instead my uterus is committing war crimes against me#tomorrow I’ll feel a lot better (and maybe tonight) and I’ll be more up to writing it all out#and thinking about. you know. the whole parting thing#and maybe some softer conversations because I need it after that episode#ahsoka tv#ahsoka spoilers#baylan skoll#shin hati
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my manager: relax over your holiday break!
my holiday break: i have to go to multiple stores in the days leading up to Christmas, then i have to do a whirlwind of tasks for my mom on Christmas Day while also looking after my friend’s emotions all day, i wake up the next morning sick from anxiety so i sleep that off and then immediately drive five hours through heavy traffic to my grandparents’ house, my cousins arrive but one of them is SICK sick… they isolate him but i spend the next three days paranoid that i will also get sick bc my aunt guilted me into sharing food with him before we realized he was sick, the toilet we typically use in the house isn’t working so i have to use the very public downstairs toilet the whole time which is stressful, i drive five hours home and just as i lay down in bed my friend starts threatening self harm because a guy he knows from college isn’t communicating well, tomorrow i have to drive my mom and mom-mom and this same friend around to look at Christmas lights and also possibly hang out with this friend afterwards (and/or spend the night stopping him from self harming) and then it’s back to work on the 1st!!!!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
#there is a 0% chance i don’t wake up anxiety-sick tomorrow - i think#but that’s better than waking up cousin-sick - so i guess i’ll take it#i’m starting to get ACTUAL anxiety about this shit man… like. My chest is so tight and i can’t breathe#but *I* have to pull it together so that my friend doesn’t die i guess…#i’m trying to go into the new year HAPPY and POSITIVE#but i’m feeling more like i did in November when i was fantasizing about walking into traffic#nobody gives a shit about me and how i’m doing#and that’s not even really true - but it feels like it#when will i be in a truly mutually supportive relationship? when will that happen for me?
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i woke up this morning and thought to myself, ‘i need to make something.’ and then i spent the majority of today working on this:
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it’s five’s mittens from redaurorarora’s fic seven types of love ! here’s the excerpt i took to make these:
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anyways here’s the start of what will (hopefully) be a little series of me recreating little things in tua fics. i thought this would be a fun little thing to make and i’m pretty happy with how they turned out!
#i freehanded this so they are NOT matching but that’s the point anyways#also the colors aren’t exactly right i just used what i already had#the orange yarn is a completely different yarn size than the others but yk what. it’s something klaus would do anyways.#anyways i WILL be wearing these i think they’re so fun#if anyone has ideas of things i can make please let me know!!!#my next idea is something from comes and goes by hujwernoo#exciting!#btw if anyone knows if redaurorarora has a tumblr could you let me know so i can tag them <3#the umbrella academy#tua#my rambles#my doodles#<- technically it’s not a drawing but it’s still art#ALSO yes i know the kittens are knitted in the fic but i do not have that much belief in my knitting skills i’m a lot better at crochet#MITTENS*#edit: i’m realizing that the pattern on the blue mitten got messed up? at the top?#i’ll check it out tomorrow morning idk what happened there#i skipped a row or something
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william tries to get vyncent to play doki-doki but they don’t even make it past the first traumatic event because vyncent thinks he’s supposed to kill the girls and william gets jealous and closes his laptop on vyncents hand and breaks his finger accidentally
#sorry i spent too long thinking about doki-doki earlier#this is the consequence#red rambles relentlessly#jrwi show#jrwi pd#william wisp#vyncent sol#guys i’m coping with 31 let me simmer i’ll feel better tomorrow maybe#jrwi ghostknife#incase it was unclear william gets jealous because vyncent is flirting with someone other than him
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don’t trust your brain after 7pm (winter mode) don’t trust your brain after 7pm (winter mode) don’t trust your brain after 7pm (winter mode)
#marzi speaks#hi i’m fine. no intrusive thoughts or anything like genuinely i’m ok#just thinking a bit too hard about a bit too much at once#i loveeeee anxiety rumination brain. can we GO TO SLEEP#i offered to drive my dad to his pharmacy tomorrow since i’m getting my pneumonia shot there as well#it is a perfectly safe drive and i know the route exactly. but i haven’t been at a traffic light in months#i’m nervous 👍 i’m most nervous about the parking#i’ll feel better once i do it. and now that i offered to i can’t back down unless it becomes a matter of safety#which it won’t because i know i can do it#but if i avoid doing it now it’ll just reinforce the fear. so i have to push myself a little#and i’m overthinking with that and everything else. as per usual i feel like i have no time. which is Freaky Scary !!#hooray for anxiety rumination brain. oh hey i basically already said that. my mind’s running in circles can u tell :3#i AM okay tho. i’ve had worse anxiety spells. think i just need to get to sleep. and maybe have a cry first we’ll see
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I slept for 15 fucking hours and I still feel like I could sleep more
#mine#I slept for 14 yesterday. feeling so gross rn#I just hope I feel better tomorrow bc I don’t think I can call in two days in a row rn#maybe I’ll just try to leave early
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oh so i kinda confessed that i feel useless to my family but apparently i’m actually the cheerleader/clown/‘heart’ of the family who helps them get through things emotionally……. they didn’t say or even imply this but i think i’ve been slacking on that front
#after finding out i may have overblown the severity of the situation i was able to look at things a little more objectively#at least in terms of psychology so i could remind my dad that him crying in front of me for the first time in like ten years isn’t weakness#without breaking down again#we all had a good group hug it was nice#but when that happens my dog gets cares because she thinks it’s some sort of altercation lmao#money will still be tight but no significant sacrifices need to be made#can’t wait to actually do the volunteer work i said i would do for the animal shelter once it gets cooler#also the pool at my barely-a-job job is getting cleaned tomorrow so i’ll get to swim once more without clearing the filters myself#(well me and my dad…. i actually made a game of leaf diving for the extra sunken mulberry castings from the tree in the next yard#after we pulled a bunch of leaves out of the flapper thing and skimmed most of the leaves from the drain)#(I put a single chlorine tab in one of those floating things so after all of that it started flowing a lot better and looking cleaner)
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