#I’d still always be here
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no matter what happens… I hope you know this is never what I wanted… I hate it here. I’ve never been so alone. I isolated and went into auto pilot. I was told I had to do this. I felt cornered. And all I know is being used for others happiness…. This isn’t what I wanted… please don’t think this is what I wanted… I’m fucking miserable… I’m surviving off of zoning out and daydreaming… praying to god every day to just let me die so I can stop struggling against the waves. I may have made the choice. And I face the consequences. I deserve it all 100%. But don’t ever think this is what’s best for me… or that this was what I wanted.. there’s not a second I wouldn’t rather be next to you…. I’m just a fucking coward who can’t see any value in myself or see why I deserve happiness so I fucking gave up and let others tell me what I had to do…. I’ll suffer forever for this.. you don’t have to grieve me because I’m still right there… my body is just a vessel for others to use….
#One day they’ll toss me aside like everybody else does too I’m sure…..#But I don’t plan on living much longer anyways so who cares I guess#Bury bury bury#Literally don’t even read not worth your time#Can’t sleep#cant eat#You never have to talk to me again because I wouldn’t either it’s okay…#I’d still always be here#I will never stop loving you#More than anything or anybody I have ever met#You truly are my soulmate and twin flame forever#I’m so sorry you ever had to meet me#I feel like I have ruined your life#And I hate myself so fucking much for it#There’s not punishment bad enough for what I have done to you……#That’s the only reason I haven’t killed myself yet tbh…. I deserve this suffering…#Ignore
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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(The conclusion) Chapter 22: Aftershocks (end.)
Aaaaa This is it! The last chapter of Wobbly Hearts! You know when I started working on this I never thought it would get as long as it did but I’ve loved writing every word.
Enjoy the chapter! Signing off for the last time, this has been
#LEGO Ninjago Wobbly Hearts AU#KNOX ART (me)#yes i heavily based this art off a stock photo look perspective is hard—#i thought a little art piece would be fun to do for the finale tho#ough <3#fr I’d love to write a sequel but i don’t know how much time/energy I’ll have coming up here :’)#thanks for reading!#for anyone who’s not a fan of reading incomplete works#it’s completed now! enjoy!#please always tag me in fanart even if it’s a year or two after i finished this I’d still love to see it
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stuart 2008-2025 🐈⬛🪽💕❤️🩹
#he passed away this morning#i loved him so much#he was such a good boy#my life feels so quiet now#i would wake up and he’d come downstairs with me for breakfast then wait to have the milk from my cereal 🥺#whenever i’d come home he’d rub up against me and purr like crazy#and he’d always nap on my bed right where the sunlight hit#i still have his brother and my dog but i can never replace stu stu#idk if i believe in heaven but i wanna think he’s with arwen#< my grandparents dog#ANYWAY#sorry to get too personal on here#cats#moodboard
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alright I’m bored so here’s my extremely optimistic crack theory: assuming katsuki seeing a vestige means we’ll see him in the vestige realm, when kudo sorted through izuku’s memories he put his forehead on the wall right??
what if izuku is having a crisis about being left quirkless again and vestige katsuki needs to touch foreheads with izuku to show him all his memories of izuku being heroic without a quirk and he tells him “you never needed a quirk. you were always a hero” or something like that because it’s what izuku always needed to hear
#bakudeku#bkdk#me at three am waking up in cold sweat#HERES HOW BKDK FOREHEAD TOUCH CAN STILL WIN#and then they kiss with tongue and hori shows all of it bc he’s a weird little freak and we all win#and everyone clapped#anyway that’s what I would do if#if I could possess horikoshi’s body and write the resolution#and then I’d add 30 panels of hugging and kissing and post them all online immediately on his Twitter then log out#this isn’t even a theory this is just me explaining why the plot demands a bkdk forehead touch it’s all there it’s been set up#and izuku sees all the memories of him standing up to katsuki and sludge villain and the river scene again#and them forehead touching is at the for front#and izuku closes his eyes and breathes deeply#BC ITS WHAT HES ALWAYS WANTED TO HEAR AND HE HEARS IT FROM KACCHAN#anyway horikoshi let me into your brain I have ideas now draw it DO IT HORI DO IT LISTEN TO ME HORI WE CAN AND WE SHOULD
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Having Telestratus ideas in mind and even more reqs (ily’all pls don’t stop) but I’m currently undergoing a dilemma where I’m debating to redo my entire Pisistratus design
He appeared blonde in a dream recently once and it’s been on my mind but idk….
#yes I dream about the odyssey#WHAT ABOUT IT(im crazy)#I also want it to be known platonic tlst is very dear to me#so I’m sorry if you’re looking for some hardcore yaoi bc my feelings changes with the tides#it’s fun to explore dynamics and stuff ok….#telemachus still deserves all the kisses and hand holding#this is a warning in case I do say fuck it and redesign the lad#a lot of my ideas and stuff comes from my dreams HSVDGD… so it sticks#feel free to gimme ur hcs on him… I’d love to capture other’s visions#I’m ranting here I’ll stop but yeah#btw does the general public like Pisistratus or Peisistratus more#the ei vs ie in words always trips me up so sorry I’m lazy…#my same face syndrome is so bad I need to fix that
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hello :D please tell me more about your mezalian (is that how you spell it??) smalletho I will forever be indebted to you
(they are gorgeous I love them sm)
hey hi !! it would be my pleasure … (and I’ve been spelling it mezalean ??? but i have no idea LOL. there might be a canon spelling but i havent watched joels esmp1 since… probably since it ended. i will have to check sometime)
apologizing in advance because i will probably get very ramble-y!!
ummm. Oh god. How to start. Lets see. WELL. In this silly little au (i guess it has become a bit more than just me doodling designs LOL) in my head they have like this sort of zelink dynamic? obviously without all the zelda lore & stuff, just that kind of … okay forgive me I haven’t brushed up on my zelink lore for a good many years but. Like the princess and her personal knight that doesn’t really talk much sort of thing.
this made more sense in my head. But yeah. They have the vibes of zelink ? At least if i remember zelink right, I have a really bad memory :’) not exactly the same, i do think etho talks to joel (whereas if iirc link never really talks) - especially after getting to know him a bit - but just. they have the Vibes. You know?
I reckon Joel’s definitely very into sculpting in this au, maybe dabbles a little in painting - I imagine mezalea to be very heavy on art and expression in general. think you’d especially see lots of pottery and textiles all around the place. He probably also has an interest in some form of like. um. whats the word. Some sort of … fighting. lmao. Specifically thinking of fencing, i had this idea in my head that he’s watched Etho practice outside the palace at some point and is just absolutely fascinated and enamored. by both the practice and etho himself haha.
and for etho… talented swordsman? he is Not washed. i dont really have many ideas for his character in this au To be completely honest, mostly just of his personality. Although, I alsooo think he’s probably not actually from mezalea? I like to draw him with those pointy elf ears, and i think mezaleans are just humans. I cant remember if thats canon or not but um. mezaleans have human ears, so i’d imagine etho’s probably from like.. rivendelle? Is that. What it’s called. The elf guys? Are they elves??? Goodness I cant remember. Grimlands would make sense too since i THINK they’re kind of like. technical engineer guys? but i dont know what species they are um so ,,, yeah,,,,
i think joel’s probably a bit put off by etho at first, mostly just because he’s not super enthused about the idea of a personal guard, but also because the guys a bit odd, you know? but he’s also probably suuuper intrigued by him. he wants to figure this new guy out, and when they start talking a bit more, i think. They are both incredibly charmed by the other. head over heels? possibly.
most of my ideas of this au are just little scenes that are cute and silly but dont follow any main plot. I would love to write some one-shots of some of the ideas i have in the future, but as of right now im experiencing a bout of creative burnout and am busy with the holidays - spending time with family, so… not right now lol!
hopefully this is what you wanted,,,, i tend to get very ramble-y when talking about literally anything, so i do apologize for that haha, i am Not good at explaining things in simple ways, as i’ve said many a time before.
#sphynx asks!#sphynx rambles#i guess i’ll tag this as#smalletho#and#trafficshipping#for filtering#when explaining my thoughts on smalletho (or any ship for that matter) i always feel the need to clarify that um#being someone on the aroace + probably aplatonic spectrum#i always put a bit of that into my headcanon of characters#like in my brain they are never sexually attracted to each other or anyone else#and the relationships aren’t ever easily describable. they just exist as they are without a label.#maybe they kiss maybe they like each other but i never put them in any sort of established romantic relationship in my head#it Is my desire for connection and intimacy without the “rules” and lines between platonic and romantic attraction making itself known#because i don’t really. feel. either? I want to love someone but i am not sure what love entails. and i’d reckon that probably shows LOL#dude i could go on and on about how being aroace feels for me and how i project that onto characters. its honestly. fascinating to me lmao?#i find the topic of love and attraction and friendship and connection and intimacy just incredibly interesting as a whole though LOL#sometimes i feel like some alien (not in a bad way!! ..most of the time) looking in on human life like… how very curious this is! wow!#Honestly i could probably talk about anything for hours. i just really like thinking about things and sharing my thoughts#unfortunately im also terrified of sharing those thoughts and being perceived in general ! social anxiety at its finest here!#i spent the whole day working on this answer lmao. which really shows just how much i struggle putting things into words#and then POSTING those words? i have to reread what ive written a billion times to make sure i don’t sound stupid or insane#and even then i still worry. so at this point its just become.. post and dont look at tumblr for the next while to let the anxiety subside#anyway um.! Yeah.#im going to sleep now. Thumbs up.
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is anyone still in the mood for a hypmic imagines blog these days lol
#mod rambles#giant ramble incoming ->#the tag seems so..#dead. which makes me sad :(#it’s looking pretty grim for us yumes out there ngl#do the people still yearn for self indulgent romance with their oshis. lol#i am still very much a yume freak. perhaps more so lately. but i never do talk about my own yume ships loll#plus the yume community does not seem.. very pleasant. to say the least#i do kinda want to come back and write here#but not on this account. i’d make a new one#i kinda want to start all over tbh. like a fresh slate#plus it'd kinda force me to try and get back into the groove of writing bc i feel like i've forgotten each and every rule lol#also it's important to have a creative outlet!! even if i most likely do not have the time for one lmao#i do want to provide for the h.ypmic yume community on here though. plus i love to write#even though i'm not caught up on the drama tracks..#idk if i'm emotionally ready for them#yes i did see this is the final drb. i got the news while studying for my final the very next day so suffice to say i was not doing well lo#idk if I’d share the new blog though. but i feel like it’d be p obvious if were me? lol#but i also wouldn’t have the time to write or post so idk.#i have time rn bc I’m on break but#when school starts back up again I’m gonna be packed. esp since I’ll be starting neuro so that’s gonna take all my brain activity (ha)#also will be starting research back up again so that’s a pain#plus. truth be told this year hasn’t been particularly kind to me#i haven’t really been in the mood to write or share it bc of what’s been going on back home#my people are always on my mind all the time#esp my village#🇱🇧❤️#been doing a lot of rambling lately but not a lot of writing. hm#all this to say: i might be coming back but prob with a new blog. lol#i write a lot just to get to the bare basic point (hence the 30 tags)
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they say ‘to be loved is to be changed’ but is it true love if you’re wilted and worn because I loved you too much despite knowing soon you’ll leave me? Or is it true love if I wanna lock you away forever to keep you in that state because I wouldn’t be able to accept that one day you won’t be here anymore
#[skye’s lost tapes • 📼]#just a girl with her beloved crocs#this is about my beloved crocs#I love my fk crocs so much#I hadn’t noticed until another person who was wearing the same crocs as me but hers were still new but mine are worn but still sturdy#and I couldn’t help but dread the day that some day my beloved crocs wouldn’t be here to cradle my feet—#—as I venture out into this scary world anymore#I know I’ll get over it in like a day but I just can’t help it; I love my fucking shoes#it has these cute charms on it with the perfect colors of white and orange that I find lovely#I wonder if I should lock it away in the closet to never use it again so it wouldn’t get more tattered#but is it truly alright if I do that? what would it think of me if it had sentient?#oh believe me my beloved crocs when I say I’ve tried with other shoes; they’re all lovely in their own ways but they can’t be you#it’s been five years since we’ve met; you were just supposed to be another shoes; specifically my mother’s but she didn’t treat you right#five years of irreplaceable memories; when you carried me to places that I’d never thought I’d have the courage to#when you accompanied me thru bad and good times; you were always there; how can I simply just choose another when you’re perfect#except time wasn’t always merciful; someday I won’t remember you anymore and I’ll move on#but know this that you’re the reason of why I am the person that I am today; bc you believed and supported me thru all#I love you my beloved crocs
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been thinking a lot about Dakota and autonomy and heroism lately
#he arts#dakota#So . It’s like the thing abt dakota and the Dr is that despite the medical malpractice . Despite everything . He doesn’t see it that way#And most people around him also don’t see it that way . In part I think beacuse his friends jsut want THIER friend to be#Alive and ok. And if that’s what it took to do that then ok. And then also there’s so little people !! In pd !! With normal senses of what#Autonomy is and control is because a lot of being a hero = needing to give that up. Cause u need to be able to put urself second or last#If u can save someoneelse. that’s part of the job description . So no one will ever really look at that much harder than maybe they should#But from dakotas pov i think that’s fascinating beacuse this event MASSIVLY Changed and shaped who he is . So jsut ! Idk it’s complicated#I think 21-22 are really intresting eps for that reason and to me it his descicion to go under surgery again despite obviously also being#Terrified of it but this time with William is jsut a really cool charcter desciion made and also to me always felt a bit like#Reclamation In a way I can’t fully explain. Like look here’s this thing that happend to me that I still haven’t fully processed#Here’s one way I can make myself into my own hero . Here’s how I can be someone who i needed when I was a kid#jrwi pd#SIGHSANYWYAS#idk if I should tag this as gore maybe !? Probaly#tw blood#Tw gore#<- I’d rather be safe than sorry idk if there’s a better tag I shoulda used but
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guys i cannot wait to move
#it’s my new goal and like usually those switch but my psychiatrist said it best the other day: I’ve outgrown this town#and honestly? it makes sense because I’ve been doing a lot of growing over the past year or so#and with all the work trauma why would i want to stay here?#but here’s the real kicker is that it will take time to get where i want to go#so like. whatever ya know? but also. mhmm. i cannot wait to get there#it’s kind of wild cause I thought I’d always be in this town and maybe this is just a spur of the moment impulsive thought#but like. it genuinely makes me so happy thinking about moving#there’s nothing for me in this town anymore especially since the job i wanted fucking fired me and the guy i like definitely friend zoned me#so like. idk! im just…its time to move on. literally there’s one thing I’d miss from here and it’s my friend just cause yeah okay#we won’t get together but i still like him as a friend and care deeply about him#but like yeah idk. i just. there’s nothing for me here now so fucking a i might as well!#but moving where i want is gonna take some money so i gotta stay here and save up#anyway. sorry. it’s galentines weekend and like it is really chill and stuff but my friends who I haven’t seen in a while#were all catching up and then they got to me and were like oh and what about you? and I was like y’all just talked about how you wanna move#closer to each other but uhhhhhhh I am not doing that lol#anyway. just thinking thoughts. can’t wait to move. gotta just be patient now#i'm rambling again aren't i
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flattered by all the notes that one NT edit is getting, but word to the wise, cromwell is only in one chapter/scene (so far …)
#will be doing a continuation of that 1528 scene probably in the same chapter as his first 1535 scene . but . yeah …#im still building here#and ive established way more of many other characters/plotlines i need to get back to (lord & lady rochford & mary; norris even…)#i basically have a folder of tudor aes images and i put them in a collage and i try to make them relevant to the linked chapter#but they’re not always … this week it was one i’d just posted to that preview ballad bcus there’s a massive internet outage in my area#due to the extreme storm we just had
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Just a girl who wants to be her mother’s daughter in the ways that matter
#Such a tenacious go getter & the smartest woman ik#Has NEVER looked back at a man twice. Knows she’s beautiful & that attention is guaranteed. Never desperate for male validation ever#The best fashion sense ik. She’s the epitome of classic & vintage#Doesn’t gaf what others are doing / is always tunnel visioned on her own goals#A mega workaholic and like. Maybe I’d rather balance but still she’s still an overachiever#I feel im becoming more and more like her by the day but still I have some work to do#Need to be more focused & to stop entertaining little boys fr#I just want to move w the unshackling confidence & elegance she seems to emanate effortlessly#I swear that woman was born that way!!!! So unfair for the rest of us mortals#Why does no one talk about the psychological torture that comes w having a naturally gorgeous genius mother#I’m dying over here I just wanna be like her but im pushing that boulder up the hill all the time#Meanwhile she’s always just On#HOW#Just an eldest daughter having a crisis about her mother who is also#The eldest daughter out of her and her two brothers#I need to journal about this I need to meditate#How to manufacture the drive that your mother was simply endowed with at birth#Not even joking I just got off my internship and now im sitting on a swing under the late May sun having a crisis about this
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it’s so discouraging creating art for an ever dwindling fandom where everyone is anxious and depressed in a world that’s falling apart so your stuff that used to get hundreds of notes gets 5 lol and i’m an asshole for caring bc there’s worse stuff happening but also ouch
#begging for attention feels awful but seeing that number be 0 also feels bad lol#and seeing everyone announcing they’re leaving the fandom they’ve lost interest etc also feels horrible#anyway i’m still here i’ll always be here one way or another#in case anyone wants to come back to hellcheer#and if you want to share my stuff i’d appreciate it#the fewer interactions i get the less it makes me want to create yknow#and i love creating#but it’s a lot of work to do it solely for myself#and it feels v lonely#anyway yeah all this bc my last video flopped lol
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it’s all the rest of what i want with you
connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k
Summary:
“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”
“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.
in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!
#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu#HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand#in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred#because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it#including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines.#like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like#‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted#and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.)#i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on#this one but the full quote was too long:#all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless#so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one#and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o.#liv in the replies#shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs.#if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡#the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is.#far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze#laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…)#also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy
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OH HELLO I THOUGHT YOU WERE OFF THE GRID RN
I CHANGED IT BC I KNEW MY ASS WOULD BE HERE LOSING MY MIND PANDORAAA HES REAL HES REAL HES REALLLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭
#asks#I talked about it with frontier like I said I’d be off the grid but I knew I’d be here#I cannot be normal and keep this contained for 24 hours I just can’t#he’s real and he has feelings and he speaks and he has his bike and he’s still fucking kicking people in the head#my blorbo I will always love you no matter what
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