#I wrote this at 3am

[bestreadfanfic]

Landscapes

Summary: Johnny and Simon are both done with their military service and now live in the English countryside. However, Johnny's time in the military left him disabled and with a lot of unresolved issues. You and your boyfriend moved into their sleepy town and Johnny just knows you need saving.

Pairings: Ghoap x reader

Warnings: Domestic abuse, Soap has PTSD, Violence

A/N: So, I was supposed to writing part two on my other story, but I got writer's block. This just popped up in my head.

Johnny wasn’t a creep. Majority of people that came across him would describe him as a good guy that's just a bit intense. In fact, Johnny was such a good person that he risked and was willing to sacrifice his life for his country. While his time in the military didn’t kill him, although sometimes he wished it did, he did lose a leg and got some brain damage. The point is that Johnny sacrificed enough to indulge himself once in a while.

It’s not like he was causing you any harm. No, he was just keeping an eye on you. Despite the fact that he’s only ever really seen you from afar and never even spoke to you he felt this overwhelming protectiveness over you. He knew that your boyfriend was no good. 

Boyfriend

Not your husband. Neither of you two wore a ring. Not to mention that when the two of you moved into the small house down the road and Johnny and Simon went to introduce themselves he very pointedly said that his girlfriend lives with him as well. Johnny didn’t have the chance to speak to you then. It’s not like he really wanted anyway. 

Your boyfriend wasn’t a very pleasant person to be around. It only worsened when he found out that Johnny and Simon were in a relationship. Johnny figured that only a woman that was as unpleasant as him was able to put up with. But they say that opposite attracts. 

It was nearly a month after meeting your boyfriend that Johnny finally saw you. In that month Johnny had plenty of interactions with your boyfriend. None of them that Johnny enjoyed. 

Every morning Johnny would go for a walk. At first Simon would walk with him, but Johnny needed to go alone. It’s not that he didn’t love Simon. He did with all his heart. But he needed the freedom. Needed to prove that he was capable. Even if that meant going for a walk by himself.  

Johnny knew that the only reason Simon allowed him to go on these walks was because they lived in the British countryside. Crime rarely ever happened in their small town. Johnny also knew that despite being in such a safe town Simon would follow him on these little walks. Of course when he first figured this out he was furious, but Johnny had lost the will to fight over most things. He needed these walks for his sanity. If the price to pay was having Simon follow him from afar he would gladly take it. Besides he sacrificed way bigger things before.  

He often zoned out of these walks. That’s probably why he didn’t notice you at first. It was your sobs that brought him out of his daydreams. You were sitting on the side of the road in front of your house just bawling your eyes out. It took him a while to register that you were that asshole’s girlfriend. 

By the time that his foot started to move towards you the front door to your house swung open. The loud noise caused him to stop in his tracks. He hated loud noises now. It caused him to freeze and retreat back inside of his head. His comfort space. He could still see and hear what’s going on around him. He just couldn’t process it. 

He saw your boyfriend stomping outside of the house right up to the two of you. He heard your boyfriend yelling at you and then at him. But he couldn’t understand the words that were spewing out of his mouth. He couldn’t move his foot. His crutches seemed to be buried into the ground keeping him glued to the spot. He wanted to move so bad. Or at least tell him to stop. But he couldn’t. 

His unresponsiveness only seemed to make your boyfriend madder. So mad that he came up to Johnny chest to chest. Johnny was taller but he was in no shape to fight. When your boyfriend lightly shoved Johnny's chest he toppled over like a domino. 

Although that only served further paralyzed Johnny it put you into motion. You put yourself in between Johnny and your boyfriend begging. Johnny couldn't understand what you were saying but did understand that you were attempting to defend him. 

It wasn’t needed however, because in the next 30 seconds your boyfriend was flat on the ground with Simon on top of him pounding his face in. You knew better than to get in between Simon and your boyfriend so you just stood to the side begging him to stop. 

Simon turned his head toward you and for a second Johnny was sure that you were next. But he knew that Simon wasn’t one to hit women. Instead you and Simon exchange a few words. Johnny didn’t understand he could see your mouth move and hear the words, but his brain refused to translate the words.  

Johnny groaned in frustration causing the two of you to snap your heads towards him. The rest was a blur. When Johnny came again he was in his bed. The whole ordeal was a mess but Johnny came out of it with a strange fascination with you. 

He was more aware of you. For someone that he’s never seen around before you seemed to be in a lot of places. He never approached you though. Simon had warned him to avoid both you and your boyfriend at all costs. 

However, Simon never said anything about watching you. It’s not like he was stalking you. No, it just so happens that the two of you rarely had anywhere to go and often enjoyed taking walks through the English countryside.

[tell-them-the-north-remembers]

When you think about it Euron Greyjoy is actually the villain of all time, GRRM's magnum opus. He opens his eyes to the world and decides sibling abuse is gonna be his thing for a while. He fucks his brother's wife, gets exiled for it, fucks off to god knows where. Then allegedly finds a dragon egg, tries to get a wizard to hatch it, gets mad, randomly throws it into the sea. Commits war crimes, captures warlocks, makes them cannibalize each other for shits and giggles. Steals a dragon horn. DEMOCRATICALLY GETS ELECTED KING. Raids a man's castle, ties up the man, sees his daughter who goes "hey my step mom and step siblings suck strip them naked and make them serve dinner to ur men like that" and he goes "ok." and then is like "hey that was fun im gonna like kinda marry you and make you my salt wife". But she will be his SALT wife (she actually wont he will literally CUT her tongue bcs he evil) bcs he literally thinks oh yes i will marry daenerys and then tame a dragon using my dragonhorn and conquer westeros on dragonback aegon-style. He gets fucked up on shade of the evening daily, sees hallucinations and visions and plans on summoning eldritch horrors. He is an edgy pirate with a ship called "silence" bcs he fucking tore out the tongues of his entire crew and the ship is painted red so it conceals the BLOOD. Martin went "i have enough morally grey antagonists" and then created euron fucking greyjoy.

[zoluulife]

Sick and tired of people acting like Luffy is a five year old. It’s so annoying, “omg Luffy is so oblivious and dumb he’s just so innocent “ just pisses me off like yes I understand that Luffy’s character is shown to be childish and goofy at times but people who solely betray Luffy with those traits clearly haven’t watched the show. Luffy is emotionally intelligent and mature, he fights for victims of oppression for gods sake. He has been through and seen so much, at the end of the day he makes mature choices giving the situation. When will people stop pretending like he is a literal child.

[duskspring]

Papa Emeritus, having recently gotten a 'I' added to his title with the birth of his brother, another one set to follow from a different woman a mere three months later, had felt practically sick when he first heard the news of the pregnancies. Not having the best childhood himself made him nervous to imagine any more children going through something like that at the hands of their father.

Primo had only summoned one single ghoul at that point, a means of proving himself as worthy of ascending to his title. Chain was all a summoner could ask for; loyal, a good companion and extremely helpful. Papa definitely felt good knowing he was both emotionally supported and physically protected at all time.

That’s when it clicked for him. With all his prayers to Lucifer centered around receiving the very best for the position, he summoned two more ghouls, one for each of his new brothers. They would be considered ‘Primo’s’, but follow every order to be there for the young ones.

Alpha would keep watch over Secondo. He teaches him to put on a tough front to prevent people from playing him for a fool. He’s strict, but righteous. Telling young Secondo tales from his centuries old life and earning his immense respect. He makes sure the future Papa stays on course, and even ahead, of his studies. He sculpts a strong mind.

Omega takes a different approach with Terzo. He comforts the sensitive boy when he’s upset or angry at the belittlement he has to constantly put up with. Him and Secondo bikker often and the quintessence ghoul tries teaching him how to properly handle conflict. Terzo would get much more rebellious in his teen years, even towards Omega. But at the end of the day the ghoul was not afraid to lay down the law when need be, knowing Terzo would always take him seriously in the end. He is much more emotionally mature than many give him credit for, and it’s all thanks to Omega.

[ara-the-great]

cruelty

(not edited or proof read)

Cruelty was a part of every human being. Sylus knew this the best. Whoever met him deemed him the cruelest of all, except you. except this tiny little woman of his. he knew that you knew what he had done and will continue to do as the leader of onychhinus and yet he sensed no fear, no deeming him as cruel- except a in the instances when he stole your ice-cream or withheld from kissing you . it didnt make sense to him. the only conclusion he could draw was you were the same as him. true kindred spirits. after all he noticed that you did not even blink at him leveling out buildings with people still in it. how you barely even looked away when he shoots someone dead. how for a moment there is a gleam of insanity in those mesmerizing eyes of yours. he wanted to bring it up, he wanted to see all of you so he stared taking you to more and more meetings and deals. waiting, craving to see that gleam in you.

he had thought his cruelty would repeal you, you lived a righteous life after all. you were a upstanding citizen, you didn't even have a speeding ticket. and yet he recognized that ember of insanity and cruelty in you. how? who? why? when?

"sylus, what are you thinking about with such a face?" you asked approaching him

"what ever do you mean?" he smiled trying his best to conceal his thoughts. he was sure you tell him or even better show him someday.

"you look like you are going to kill someone. if you keep furrowing your eyebrows like that you'll get permanent wrinkles and then everyone will be more scared of you" you teased as your fingers smoothed out his so called wrinkles.

"what can i do? I am scary my love. it comes with the job" he chuckled as he took your hands to press a kiss on your palms.

"really? you scary? i don't see it. i think you are absolutely beautiful " you said kissing the top of one of his eyes as you sat in his lap.

"don't go tonight. stay. stay with me. i promise ill make it worth your time" he husked as he nuzzled into your shoulder. his muscular arms wrapping around you. you were sylus's anchor, his peace, his light.

"you know i have work tomorrow sylus. i cant stay here"

"hmm then maybe i should go to linkon with you" he mused

"you know, you can't do that. plus don't you have a dealing tomorrow?" you laughed patting is back as consolation.

"maybe i should change my occupation. to hell with all this. I'll sell fruit in linkon and go by skye and maybe then i would not have to part with you" he kissed the pulse that seemed to quickened with his words almost drunk off of your scent. "would you like that?" seeming absolutely serious.

"S-sylus you know you cant "

"would you like that though? just imagine you'll have me beside you every morning and every night." he said dragging his mouth from neck to the corner of your mouth.

"i wouldnt be so cruel to make you give up all that you have built with you own hands"

"oh sweetie, be as cruel as you like, you know i like it when you are cruel . if you asked me to build an empire from nothing, id do it for you a thousand times over. use me but just stay by me. that's all." he placed a soft kiss on your forehead. he could practically feel how pleased the thought made you. "plus cruelty suits you more than you think"

"what is that supposed to mean?" you didnt know whether to be offended or flattered

"it means i have seen the way your eyes shine with excitement whenever we are..... ruthless" he grinned finally finding the opportunity to bring it up

" What? You could tell? Im i that transparent? what can i say there is a strange beauty in it i suppose. It's also morbidly satisfying to see them beg after they insult us for no reason." you laughed. never thinking you'd be able to say it out loud.

"then why dont you accompany me to the deal tomorrow there is sure to be some action. i'll let you have your fun" he said leaning in to kiss you

"Omg would you really let me? such a generous offer who knew that mr. leader of onychinus was such a sweet lover" you teased as you kissed his cheeks in excitement unintentionally missing his kiss.

"And who knew ms. hunter was such a cruel woman?" he frowned clearly displeased by his stolen chance to kiss your lips

"shh its my secret to you" you pecked his lips with a laugh that rang trough his ears like twinkling fairy bells.

"and my sweetness is my secret to you" he said deepening your kiss.

[spungeez]

Alright, it's time for me to over analyze another scene from Wednesday through my Wenclair tinted glasses, this time it's about the scene where Morticia says goodbye to Wednesday.

Morticia is a psychic, and she was very determined to send Wednesday to Nevermore. I don't think it's a stretch to say that she knew something others didn't, but this scene in particular is full of so many little things that point to it. First of all,

The Addams' defining feature is that they love and support each other. Even if they make 'non traditional' life choices. If Wednesday truly didn't want to fall in love, They wouldn't care, as long as she was happy. There's no reason for Morticia to be hurt by this statement.

Look where her eyes are pointing.

She's looking past Wednesday completely and staring in the direction Wednesday came from. It can be assumed, since she has just changed clothes, that in the direction she came from is Ohelia hall. Morticia's not the one who was hurt by Wednesday's reluctance for relationships. You know who was hurt by it?

And you know who else was hurt by it?

She covered that, too.

And she's looks past Wednesday there, too!

The bit that really solidified the theory for me that she had a vision about Wednesday is this little gesture

The way she starts to reach out for that shoulder specifically, but stops herself. The shoulder that got shot. Wednesday was fine with Pugsley and Gomez fully hugging her in this scene, so it's pretty clear her touch aversion doesn't extend to her family. It's Morticia who decides against touching that shoulder. She knows she'll trigger another vision, perhaps?

Lastly, right at the start of this scene,

Her eyes still look right past Wednesday towards Ohelia hall, and you CAN'T tell me that isn't the definition of a knowing smile.

She knows that being here is what's ultimately going to make Wednesday happy, and though it might make Morticia sad, she knows it's best that she play the villain for now until Wednesday can see her true reasoning.

[mumms-the-word]

my favorite part about bringing Solas to the Temple of Mythal is how much he must be screaming on the inside not to overcorrect Morrigan’s assumptions about pretty much everything in the place, down to the pronunciation of the elven words she reads aloud, while she assumes he knows basically nothing of substance at all

this is his bestie’s third favorite club, babygirl, I think he knows more than you

[felix-lupin]

In Coraline, there’s a recurring theme with names and identity, and I personally don't think it's talked about enough. 

(As a note, this is dealing largely with the book, not the movie, although there are some hints of this theme in the movie as well)

Coraline’s neighbors constantly get her name wrong, calling her “Caroline” and not “Coraline”, to which she persistently corrects them. Despite her attempts, they never get it right, until chapter 10, in which Mr Bobo (Mr Bobinsky) finally gets it right.

"It's Coraline, Mister Bobo," said Coraline. "Not Caroline. Coraline." "Coraline," said Mr Bobo, repeating her name to himself with wonderment and respect. "Very good, Coraline."

It should be noted that, until this chapter, Coraline did not know Mr Bobo’s name either. In fact, it had never even occurred to her that he had a name. Up until then, she had just been thinking of him as “the crazy old man upstairs”, not as a person with a name. This moment, with her learning his name and him getting her name right, is a moment of genuine understanding and connection between the two, humanizing them both to each other.

Coraline’s other neighbors get her name wrong, which is representative of them not listening when she says anything, really, such as her telling Miss Spink and Forcible that her parents are missing and them literally not even acknowledging it at all??

"How are your dear mother and father?" asked Miss Spink. "Missing," said Coraline. "I haven't seen either of them since yesterday. I'm on my own. I think I've probably become a single child family." "Tell your mother that we found the Glasgow Empire press clippings we were telling her about. She seemed very interested when Miriam mentioned them to her." "She's vanished under mysterious circumstances," said Coraline, "and I believe my father has as well." "I'm afraid we'll be out all day tomorrow, Caroline lovely," said Miss Forcible. "We'll be staying with April's niece in Royal Tunbridge Wells."

Mr Bobo gets her name right after being corrected (only after being corrected alongside her using his name, mind you, showcasing her making an effort to listen to and understand him as well), which is representative of him actually making an attempt to listen and understand her. This point is further illustrated by a conversation Coraline had with the Other Mr Bobo in chapter 10.

As Coraline entered he began to talk. "Nothing's changed, little girl," he said, his voice sounding like the noise dry leaves make as they rustle across a pavement. "And what if you do everything you swore you would? What then? Nothing's changed. You'll go home. You'll be bored. You'll be ignored. No one will listen to you, not really listen to you. You're too clever and too quiet for them to understand. They don't even get your name right."

He equates those in the real world not getting Coraline’s name right with them not listening to her, and fundamentally not understanding who she is. So, somebody getting her name right, then, shows them actually listening to her, and being willing to understand who she is.

The mice in the real world know more than they should be able to know, and they also get Coraline’s name right.

"The message is this. Don't go through the door." He paused. "Does that mean anything to you?" "No," said Coraline. The old man shrugged. "They are funny, the mice. They get things wrong. They got your name wrong, you know. They kept saying Coraline. Not Caroline. Not Caroline at all."

They seem to know about the other world, somehow, on some level, and the dangers it presents. Them getting her name right represents them knowing more than they should know, more than they are told. Animals in general seem to have this type of quality in Coraline, actually.

The cat does not have a name. It says so in chapter 4, that cats do not need names. It says that this is because cats know who they are. But humans need names, because they do not.

"Please. What's your name?" Coraline asked the cat. "Look, I'm Coraline. OK?" The cat yawned softly, carefully, revealing a mouth and tongue of astounding pinkness. "Cats don't have names," it said. "No?" said Coraline. "No," said the cat. "Now, you people have names. That's because you don't know who you are. We know who we are, so we don't need names."

The cat shook its head. "No," it said. "I'm not the other anything. I'm me." It tipped its head on one side; green eyes glinted. "You people are spread all over the place. Cats, on the other hand, keep ourselves together. If you see what I mean."

This shows that, in humans, names are connected to our identities and who we are. Names are used to individualize and distinguish ourselves from each other. But cats do not need names to recognize each other, or be recognized.

"Oh. It's you," she said to the black cat. "See?" said the cat. "It wasn't so hard recognising me, was it? Even without names."

With or without names, it is still the same cat.

During the Other Miss Spink and Forcible’s performance, in chapter 4, they begin quoting Shakespeare. The specific quotes that they use are interesting to me when looked at under this lens of the importance of names, especially Miss Forcible’s.

"What's in a name?" asked Miss Forcible. "That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

"I know not how to tell thee who I am," said Miss Spink to Miss Forcible.

Now, of course, this is just them quoting Shakespeare. But. Why these quotes specifically? They’re at the very least notable when discussing Coraline’s recurring theme of names. Especially the quote about the rose. It makes me think of what the cat said earlier, about how cats are sure of who they are so they don’t need names, about how Coraline didn’t need the cat’s name to be able to recognize it for who/what it was.

But, of course, this does not apply for humans. We need our names to be able to know ourselves, to be able to tell others who they are.

In chapter 6, Coraline wakes up and is disoriented. This disorientation is compared to the feeling one might experience upon being suddenly pulled out of a daydream. In this comparison, forgetting one’s name is equated with forgetting who one is and where one is.

Sometimes Coraline would forget who she was while she was daydreaming that she was exploring the Arctic, or the Amazon rainforest, or darkest Africa, and it was not until someone tapped her on the shoulder or said her name that Coraline would come back from a million miles away with a start, and all in the fraction of a second have to remember who she was, and what her name was, and that she was even there at all. Now there was the sun on her face, and she was Coraline Jones. Yes.

The ghost children have also forgotten their names, and with it most of who they were. In chapter 7, when Coraline is locked behind the mirror in the Other World, one of the ghost children says that names are the first things that one forgets after death.

"Who are you?" whispered Coraline. "Names, names, names," said another voice, all faraway and lost. "The names are the first thing to go, after the breath has gone, and the beating of the heart. We keep our memories longer than our names. I still keep pictures in my mind of my governess on some May morning, carrying my hoop and stick, and the morning sun behind her, and all the tulips bobbing in the breeze. But I have forgotten the name of my governess, and of the tulips too." "I don't think tulips have names," said Coraline. "They're just tulips." "Perhaps," said the voice sadly. "But I have always thought that these tulips must have had names. They were red, and orange-and-red, and red-and-orange-and-yellow, like the embers in the nursery fire of a winter's evening. I remember them."

The ghost children may have their memories, but they have largely forgotten who they were. They may remember their tulips, and certain strong memories, but there is very, very little left of them, and they have forgotten who they once were, they have forgotten their names.

"That is why we could not leave here, when we died. She kept us, and she fed on us, until now we're nothing left of ourselves, only snakeskins and spider-husks. Find our secret hearts, young mistress."

"She will take your life and all you are and all you care'st for, and she will leave you with nothing but mist and fog. She'll take your joy. And one day you'll awake and your heart and soul will have gone. A husk you'll be, a wisp you'll be, and a thing no more than a dream on waking, or a memory of something forgotten."

The Other Mother stole their hearts and their souls and their selves. She stole who they were away from them, their identities and names and the names of those they loved, leaving nothing in her wake.

The same ghost that talked about the tulips and the names of the tulips struggles to answer when Coraline asks their gender, as well, and when they do eventually give an answer they seem somewhat unsure of it, as shown by the word choice of “perhaps” and “I believe”

"A boy, perhaps, then," continued the one whose hand she was holding. "I believe I was once a boy." And it glowed a little more brightly in the darkness of the room behind the mirror.

(I personally take this quote, specifically it "glow[ing] a little more brightly" after coming to this conclusion, to mean either that the ghost is happy at realizing that he was once a boy, or even to mean that he has become somewhat more tangible upon this realization; upon remembering something about his self, and his identity.)

As an aside, it's noteworthy to me that we never learn the Other Mother’s true name. She is simply “The Other Mother” and “The Beldam.” Never is an actual name applied to her, only titles. We do not truly know who, or what, she is. Beings without names are shrouded in mystery (or should i say mist-ery). The ghost children are benevolent mysterious beings, the cat is an ambivalent-leaning-helpful mysterious being, and the other mother is a distinctly malevolent mysterious being.

"Who are you?" asked Coraline. "I'm your other mother," said the woman.

"She?" "The one who says she's your other mother," said the cat. "What is she?" asked Coraline. The cat did not answer, just padded through the pale mist beside Coraline.

But in conclusion, names in Coraline are extremely important. I’m sure there’s probably more that I'm missing, and feel free to add onto this, but basically—

People need names to know and remember who they are, and forgetting one’s name is the first step to losing the rest of who one is. Names humanize a person; with a name, they are less shrouded in mystery, more clear.

Knowing somebody's name helps one connect to and better understand that person; it is the first step in getting to know them and see them as a full person, the transition from “the crazy man upstairs” to “Mr Bobo”. Names, to people at least, are one of the fundamental building blocks of who we are.

[genoskissors]

Analysis and Theories of Jataro Kemuri’s Mother

I break down sentences of the letter written by Jataro Kemuri’s Mother and interpret their meaning as well as attempting to understand her feelings. Just to clarify, I acknowledge she is an awful person. This is an attempt to understand her, not defend her.

And, to address the elephant in the room, the reason I am writing about a character no one cares about as opposed to my beautiful and wonderful beloved is because if I wrote about her, we’d be here all year.

Also: The note contains four paragraphs, but I have them broken up to make this easier to understand and comment on.

Title: “I Shouldn’t Have Had Him”

Little commentary here, but just note how she is saying “him”, meaning she is addressing herself or another, not Jataro directly.

“There's so much I can do if my son didn't exist. So much I could have done if I never had him.”

The clear things we can make out from this are that Jataro’s mother views him as the sole obstacle in her way. She doesn’t say she wants to kill him, but rather, she wished he never existed at all. Keep this in mind for later. It’s less clear what the circumstances are behind his birth.

While you can interpret this as Jataro being a mistake, it is also possible she wanted Jataro, only for events to lead her to regretting him. Personally, I’m inclined to believe the latter. When she says she “shouldn’t have had him”, she’s specifically referring to giving birth to him, not conceiving him. She doesn’t say she shouldn’t have had sex or shouldn’t have gotten married, she says had him. It implies that Jataro was conceived on purpose, only for his mother to realize it was a mistake afterward. She also named him Jataro, meaning “snake son”. We don’t know if this is a name she liked or if she named him this out of hatred.

There’s no mention of Jataro’s father from either him or his mother, so it’s safe to assume he’s completely out of the picture or not present enough. It’s possible she was formerly in a better situation and something happened. She says something that can be used as a clue, but that’s not until the next lines.

Another thing, she doesn’t just blame Jataro for existing, she blames herself for allowing him to exist. She could have said “So much I could have done if he didn’t exist”, “So much I could have done if he wasn’t here”, “So much I could have done if he died”, but she inserts herself into the blame here. Jataro’s mother says if “I never had him”, meaning she accepts responsibility for being the one to ruin her own life.

“I could have obtained qualifications and licenses, taken lessons, worked more.”

Now here’s that clue I was talking about. Of course, anyone can take lessons, but the combination of these things sounds, to me, like she was fairly young when she had Jataro. These all sound like her youth, which includes twenties, was cut short. She still had time to be something bigger. Jataro’s mothers starts this off saying there much she “can” do, but follows that up with saying there are somethings that are now in the past that she “could have” done. I’ll stop with my theories for now.

It is also known that his mother is likely a workaholic. On top of this sentence, Kotoko refers to Jataro as a “latchkey kid”, which is a child who returns home from school to an empty home because their parent(s) are working.

“Instead, my entire life is just a platform for my son's life.”

Jataro’s mother says that she now has no life separate from her son. There is no time for herself. This further implies that she is now a single parent. She previously stated she wanted to work more, but it was for her own goals. She wanted to work and have her own achievements, but now she feels her purpose has been reduced to merely providing for someone else. She can’t go back and get an education because now she is too busy providing for Jataro. Why can’t she get an education after he’s out of the house? Because at that point she feels like her life is done. She now exists only to care for Jataro, which is why she cannot imagine a future in becoming something greater.

“I think about it every night before I go to sleep. If I woke up in the morning and my son was dead, how splendid would that be?”

Here’s where it’s clearly starting to get to her. She thinks about it every night. She desperately wants to wake up and see that she is free again. If Jataro dies, she now has one less person to keep alive and gets back her personal life.

She also sees his death as nothing but good news. But, like I mentioned earlier, she hasn’t expressed any desire to kill him. She just wished something else would come in and fix her life for her.

“But every time I wake up and see him, I sigh. Why are you still alive? Why do you have a normal life?”

Now, this isn’t really important to her character, but the way Jataro’s mother phrases this could mean that Jataro gets up earlier than she does. She says “see him” but if he was dead he’d still be visible. She could mean it as “seeing living”, she doesn’t wake up and go to his room, she wakes up and sees him at some point.

She asks herself a question that is obviously towards Jataro, but she’s not asking him this. Jataro says his mom hates him, but only says what she told him, never what she asked him.

“Why do you have a normal life?” Holds two statements in one. First, she’s showing jealously. She’s asking how come he has a normal life, but I don’t? Why is he living as if he isn’t ruining her life. Second, she thinks his life is normal. Rather than acknowledging his toxic environment and his mask, I think she says normal as in happy. She knows she mistreats him, but wonders why he still wakes up and lives another day, because to her, it’s exhausting.

“I yearn for the day he stops being healthy and stops growing and just disappears. That's all I want. Why can't you just do something that simple for me?”

Another example of Jataro’s mother wanting him gone but not saying she’s going to harm him. The term yearn also cranks up the desperation tenfold. She then acts like his death or disappearance wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

Personally, I think it’s apparent she still has a sense of responsibility towards her son. While being outright abusive, she still never attempts to physically hurt him. She is the provider of his food, but doesn’t attempt to stop him from being healthy. She just waits for it to happen someday.

It could be feelings of weakness. She feels like it’s her sole purpose to provide for him, so the idea of killing him never even crosses her mind.

“I want him to die so badly it makes me cry. And the fact that he has such a worthless face just makes me even more sad.”

At this point, she’s overworked and tired. She’s become depressed from how badly she craves a new life.

Notably, she still doesn’t mention his father. Her hate for his face comes purely out of hate for him and it’s because he looks happy. When she tells him that he’s ugly and all these terrible things, it’s because she can’t handle the idea that he could have any success in life. The idea that he could have a good life after being what ruined hers.

Another thing not commonly known is that Jataro actually made his mask himself, but his mother is the one forcing him to wear it. It’s a bit unclear how this happened but my ideas are that she forced him to make something covering his face. Jataro is genuinely convinced there’s something wrong with his face and asks why she would make him wear the mask. The only way I can think is that he made it at her request and wore it.

“It makes me think I'm the one who's wrong. I shouldn't have had you.”

When his mother looks at Jataro’s face, she shows empathy for a second. She looks at his innocent face and thinks that she’s the bad guy for hurting him. However, she quickly ignores that thought. Again, she says I shouldn’t have had you. Despite addressing him previously, this “you” feels more direct. She isn’t asking rhetorical questions, she’s asking outright. Now, it still might be a secret from Jataro, but it’s clear she had a piece of her that wanted him to see this.

She closes this off with calming down from talking about him dying and reverting to simply seeing him as a mistake she made. She shouldn’t have given birth to him.

Conclusion (with Theory)

I think Jataro’s mother is someone who had a relationship and got pregnant when she was fairly young. Eventually, the father became absent and Jataro’s mother realized the life she had ahead of her if she didn’t have a child. She started to crave this dream and it led to her resenting her son, but also herself.

Thanks for reading all this. Sorry if it makes no sense, I’ve never been too good at writing.

[azureblues08]

TALKING ABOUT THE BEAST COOKIES ONCE AGAIN-

I want to discuss about how (I think) will the future crk lore will give us hints on how The Once great heroes have fallen due to not being able to overcome their own obstacles (espceaially from the cookies they once protected). Since from what we saw from the hints of decor descriptions & the story itself, I see that it's clear to me that these five REALLY wanted what best for the cookies they once led.

From Burning Spice cookie who once protected kingdoms from being crumbled or overwhelmed from changes of the world, whether from war, famine, etc. I believe he wanted those kingdoms to continue to flourish despite the changes happening on earthbread, perhaps not wanting things to be lost in history as time passes by.

To Mystic Flour who granted blessings & wishes to give the cookies for them to have a life without turmoil, whether wishes were big or small, she was willing to grant any if it meant that the cookies would achieve happiness. Her only desire for the cookies to have blissful life without suffering.

Of course, that would be their downfall: Mystic Flour having to face greedy cookies as a consequence of granting wishes without limits, & Burning Spice realizing that it is inevitable for kingdoms to crumble or no longer flourish as it did in the past, a result of perhaps losing his own?

We already have hints as to what led to Mystic Flour's & Burning Spice's downfall. . . But What about The Other Three?

Maybe the lore will give us more of the other issues faced from the cookies they were meant to lead & protect!

Maybe Eternal Sugar being overwhelmed & drained from the cookies she's meant to keep happy & full bliss, not wanting them to be sad as it hurts her, to the point she has little time to rest & to herself without having to worry about them.

Shadow Milk attempts to educate the cookies, giving them knowledge he has written to help them in the future in any field, only for them to disregard it for lies, delusions, & selfish reason even with the information or advice given.

Perhaps Silent Salt facing corrupt abuse of power among their military or the high class cookies they would meet. Wishing to cut down the corruption sooner rather than later for the sake of the cookies unable to fight back.

The last three are just me theorizing, but I wonder, what lead them to this due to being unable to know how to handle those situations?

Once heroic cookies of Virtues & the cookies that were led by them, causing each others downfalls. It is Tragic. . But that's what makes it interesting! Espacially how will the canon lore go about or protray it!

That's what gets me excited for more future lore of Beast Cookies

:)

[wausbasementslave]

So apparently there is alcohol that's really sweet. So, what if your yandere treats you to some "juice" only to encourage you to drink more as it takes effect. don't worry, the "juice" is fine. don't worry about the dizziness or the stumbling, it must be your imagination.

The growing erection in his pants as he drags your slump body is also imaginary.

But don't worry, you'll be fine once you sober up at his place..

[corner-collects-rocks]

silly little idea: what if one day neil went back to baltimore?

things have been going… too well lately. Neil can’t believe it, he’s been captain of the Foxes for over a year now and he’s been making plans about the future with Andrew. The foxes have been on a hot streak and all the new members are really improving. Neil couldn’t be happier. None of the Moriyamas men or Uncle Stuarts men have been by recently to check in. Neil and Jean talk semi-regularly and it started out… rough. But it’s been getting better. It’s approaching 3 years since Nathan’s death, and not for the first time it hits Neil again. His father is really dead. There’s no ifs ands or buts about it, he’s gone. Neil saw it happen. It still doesn’t feel real.

So Neil buys a train ticket. He needs to see it again. Needs to be sure that his father’s men aren’t waiting for him to let his guard down to exact revenge his father can’t. Neils back in Baltimore and- why did he do this?? This was so stupid now his father’s men are really gonna come for him- Neil walks. Neil walks until he reaches Nathans house. The house he grew up in. The house where a large number of his scars come from. A house that was never a home. A house that served more pain than safety. A house th- a house with a for sale sign in the yard. Somehow Neil missed the cars in the driveway. There was an open house. People were looking to buy Nathan’s house. Neil took a breath, then went inside. He realized he didn’t quit fit in with the couples of newly weds and first time parents looking around, but he had to see it. Neil went upstairs first, to his old room. It looked completely different, the walls had been painted over and the bed frame was new. Neil didn’t mind. That room was never his. It was never somewhere safe to rest at night. It was never somewhere meant to keep the monsters out.

Neil went back downstairs. He knew he needed to go look at the basement. He didn’t come all this way to back out now. He took a deep breath to steel his nerves. The door swung open and Neil accidentally stumbled backwards into the newlyweds he saw when he first walked in.

“Sorry. I didn’t see-“

“It’s alright, you didn’t see it.” One of the women said. She seemed a couple years younger than her wife. Her hair was dyed pink with a blue strand. Her wife was in a blue dress, with a strand of pink in her hair.

“Hey we were just about to go down and look, do you mind if we come with you?” The woman with the blue dress asked. Neil considered it. He figured a tether to the present couldn’t hurt and nodded. He let the couple descend first down the staircase. He looked over his shoulder once at the kitchen before following them down.

Once Neil reached the bottom he looked for any remnants of Nathan’s final moments in the home. Bullet holes in the wall, slashes of his butchers knives in the wood. The entire staircase had been replaced, and if Neil looked closely, he could see remnants of spackle on some of the walls. Neil strode forward to the middle of the room and froze. Any trace of blood from his father, or Patrick DiMaccio or Lola. The basement was clean as if none of it had ever happened. Neil looked again to the walls, faint patches of wall painted over bullet sized spackle holes. He turned around and realized the newlyweds were staring at him oddly. Neil realized they were trying to connect the dots and by then he knew it was time to leave. Neil walked out and turned his phone back on. He hadn’t told anyone where he was going and he had a train to catch.

[hellgirlthings]

“Hands on your knees ‘m angelina jolie”

“C’mon baby, get down on your knees like a good girl” Eddie coos, hand cradling your jaw as his thumb swipes over your bottom lip, subconsciously parting your lips so that he can place his thick thumb flat on your tongue. Kneeling in front of him in between his legs as he sits on the edge of his squeaky mattress, located in the barely lit room of his trailer. Either hand placed on his knees, teasingly trailing up his thighs as he sighs loudly at the touch, breathing getting heavier.

Your fingers tug at his belt loops, attempting to bite back a sly smile that’s threatening to break out on your lips. Fingers travel to the button of his faded black skinny jeans, slowly undoing them.

He groans in frustration, grabbing your face by the cheeks, squishing them together to form a prominent pout on your lips. “Think you’re funny, huh? Stop fucking around and get my cock out” He spat, forcefully dropping your face from his hold. It really shouldn’t turn you on as much as it did, but either way it has you quickly tugging on his jeans, wiggling his boxers with them until his cock springs out, thick and red slapping against his stomach. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve seen it, the prominent vein on the underside of his shaft and bulbous head make the heat pooling around your stomach even more intense, squirming underneath his intense gaze as your thighs clench. You hear him hiss as his cock gets freed, his breathing so loud it’s the only thing you can hear apart from your own. Spitting in your hand, you press your palm on the base of his dick, eliciting a deep moan from the back of his throat as you drag your hand upwards, spreading your spit along his shaft before swiping at the precum on his slit, dragging it downwards in a teasing motion to smother it all over his cock. Both of his hands find their way to your hair, where his fingers weave in between to hold it in a makeshift ponytail, giving every ounce of self restraint to not push your head down his cock and make you gag until tears streak down your cheeks, smuding your mascara.

Big, glossy eyes look up at him as your mouth on him and swirl your tongue around his head- drawing out a soft moan from you that travels down his dick, his grip on your hair tightening as he bites his lips. “Always s-so *fuck* good for me, hm? Like having my dick in your mouth?” He says through gritted teeth, composure quickly crumbling as you swipe your tongue up and down him, taking him in as much as your throat allows it without provoking a gag.

[schrodingersachillesheel]

Chapters: 6/6 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Barty Crouch Jr./Evan Rosier, Mary Macdonald/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes Characters: Regulus Black, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Barty Crouch Jr., Evan Rosier, Mary Macdonald (Harry Potter), Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes Additional Tags: Band Fic, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Regulus Black & Sirius Black Have a Good Relationship, Exes to Lovers, Light Angst, Happy Ending, Inspired by a Lady Gaga Song, Not Beta Read, Alternate Universe - Muggle, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, James Potter-centric, Lack of Communication, Past Regulus Black/James Potter, Endgame Regulus Black/James Potter, Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Supportive Minerva McGonagall, Touring, Post-Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Minor Barty Crouch Jr./Evan Rosier, Minor Mary Macdonald/Lily Evans Potter, Minor Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Bad Parent Lyall Lupin, James Potter Has BPD | Borderline Personality Disorder, it's more implied than anything else but it does make one song make a little more sense Summary:

The Marauders is a successful band but Albus Dumbledore wants another album. After hitting writers block with four songs to go, the band decides to divide them up. With James dealing with a still fresh breakup, Remus trying to answer a very old question, Sirius hoping to finally move forward from his childhood, and Peter just wanting to savor their friendship, they all search for the words they've never said before. In the middle of a world tour, four best friends need to complete four songs by their concert at nightfall.

[untoldstar]

Yandere! fan x public figure fem reader

warning: yandere themes, NSFW, (kinda intense?) obsessive behavior, stalking

A smile crept up onto his face as soon as he heard his phone notification, a new post! what has him so giddy is it’s from you~ and he makes sure to consume every bit of new content you put out, wether it’s a new post or story on instagram showing the book you were reading that week as well as the song you listened to while reading that he’d later on have on repeat while thinking of you, he also loves your random tiktok and tweets he finds what you decide to post when boredom gets to you so adorable and amusing.

Though, what he loves most is your streams and your youtube videos, he’s always the first to click on it, like, send out his praise to you and try to support you however he can, his eyes staring at you fondly through the screen and a grin stretching on his face even when you aren’t saying anything funny, it might look insane to other people, the way he looked while watching your videos but they can’t pass judgment, they can’t blame him he was just so happy seeing you even if you were only on his screen and even with how deluded it might seem for him to say this, he loves you so much he dedicated a lot of his time to learning every bit of information about your life you were willing to put on the internet, and of course, he did his own personal digging on you, he felt pride in the fact he knows so much about you, he was your #1 dedicated fan so when you finally acknowledged him as that he was elated, euphoric even, although a bit exaggerated since you still didn’t know just how much he was dedicated to you but you still knew he existed!kind of..

He had been the first to comment on your new video (as always) and a few minutes later he heard his phone chime again ‘..another post that quickly?’ he wasted no time to see what you posted but what he saw made him actually stop breathing for a few seconds

you..replied to him! you actually replied to him

He could hear his heart thumping in his chest and his face heated up, it wasn’t supposed to be a big deal he only commented a few encouraging words and you were sweet enough to reply to him for the first time but..he was just so happy he immediately replied back fully knowing that was the end of that interaction, yet he wasn’t disappointed he still had an interaction with you as brief as it was.

Later that night you posted a picture of you in a short skirt and he..just couldn’t take it. he couldn’t handle how irresistible you looked in that short skirt and knee high socks yet somehow managed to look so innocent in that adorable sweater you matched with it, the picture was in your bedroom and he could see your unmade sheets in the back and an open book laid on top of them carelessly, you were so damn cute.

But..why did you post this today? why did you post this after the brief little interaction between the two of you, did you notice him more then you let on?

He was definitely deluding himself at that point and he was aware of it but he simply didn’t care, he allowed himself to sink into that fantasy, so he kept staring at your picture for so long imagining all kinds of scenarios with you, how life would be with you, he imagined you dedicating those posts to him, imagined you putting on that skirt and posting a picture of it only because you knew he would see it and jerk off to it, he’d imagine he was there with you in that room to kiss you and finally know how you taste, he’d caress every inch of your skin and worship you, he’s so gentle but when he’s finally fucking you into the mattress with your skirt and knee high socks still on he can’t help but be a little more aggressive, you’d look so pretty like that, he imagines, skin flushed, lips swollen, your body writhing, your tits bouncing up with every thrust, he’d push up your skirt a little and he’d see what would push him off the edge, your pussy swollen and glistening, your clit pushed out begging to be touched, the wet sounds you’d make every time he pushed in deep, you’d take him so well.

That night he came to the thought of you with his head falling back, his hips still thrusting into his hand while he lets out groans and whispers of your name over and over again, his hand that held the phone with picture still on it laid limp on his side. even if he was ready to doze off after that he couldn’t, he had to make sure you weren’t posting anything for the rest of the night so he doesn’t potentially miss anything you post while he’s sleeping, he’s your fan after all and he has to keep up with you.

[luighseach]

Steve being so touch starved that he needs to touch Billy all the time, needs to feel him close. He will hold his hand whenever possible, or graze their fingers together if they are in public. When they are at his place watching movies, he will grab Billy's arm and put it around his shoulders, Steve cuddling up to him. After sex, they will also cuddle, and Steve doesn’t care about who is the big spoon and the little spoon (Steve makes them switch anyway depending on the day) as long as they are holding onto each other. 

At the beginning, Billy was always tense. Whenever he felt Steve's touch, his entire body would freeze up, shoulders and back rigid. He wasn't accustomed to a soft, loving touch. He only knew the touch of a fist, the feel of a foot kicking him… He only knew pain. All his life he had kept people away, always at a distance. He would sleep around, and only during sex he allowed touch. Until Steve… Steve with his soulful brown eyes… Steve with a heart of gold.

Little by little, Billy starts to get used to the soft touches and caresses. He finds himself searching for them… looking for them. And soon enough, he starts to initiate the touches.

There are bad days when his mind takes him to a dark place, and he can't handle anyone touching him. Steve understands and respects those days, giving him his space, but also letting him know that he is there for him always. 

But after those days go away, Billy will happily welcome Steve into his arms, or will let himself be held in Steve’s arms, feeling safe, happy and loved.