#I write in my native language and then translate to English

[bioticbooty]

Before I get started:

Okay, now that's out of the way, a few things.

and obviously it's up to us ESL fans to just get better at English

I would argue the opposite. It's up to people leaving comments to not be gigantic assholes on fic, and it's up to native english speakers to internalize the fact that not everyone speaks english as their first language. It's always stricken me as extraordinarily self-centered that native english speakers, and particularly americans, believe that everyone can or should speak english with perfect clarity. I could go on a whole diatribe about this, but I won't.

Bilingual people are fucking incredible. People who speak even more languages? Amazing. Things will always get lost in translation, there will always be mistakes, because no two languages have identical grammar rules and phrase ordering rules, and all the other weird language rules that exist about how we say the things we say.

There is no just here. Just feels so dismissive of the actual effort. I'm not saying don't strive to speak and write better, but only do it for you. Not because some asshole on the internet said, "you don't speak too good." That asshole is not worth writing for. (I'm speaking in a sort of general you sense here because I think this applies to everyone!)

so i either do it and risk being an idiot, or i just don't do anything period and that's not fun

I'm truly overjoyed that you post anyway, because I deeply enjoy your posts. I'm not the best lately at interacting online with folks (big medical issues I've been dealing with and my brain just wants to be in Off Mode), but truly, you are one of the delights of my dash.

And also, you're never an idiot, no matter how many mistakes you make in writing or speaking english. The only idiot is the person who made you feel like one.

from time to time i get this ESL low self-esteem that makes me think it's no good ever trying to write or say anything in fandom

years ago someone left a comment on a fic i wrote to tell me i made a mistake, but it was a bit like the person was going "hahahahaha silly you", and that stayed with me. (a beta can help but can also not see the mistake themselves, which was the case there. still, beta or no beta, it's possible to point out a mistake in a kind way)

and obviously it's up to us ESL fans to just get better at English - no one will do it for us - but you know, there's a specific my English will never be as good as my French mood

it doesn't have to be a fic, could be a meta post. but i also think, it's basically the only way i can interact in fandom. so i either do it and risk being an idiot, or i just don't do anything period and that's not fun

anyway. thank you to everyone who has privately and nicely corrected me in a message, i really appreciate you <3

[litten707]

The First Piece (Fanfic)

One day you decided to give Astarion a drawing of himself, made by you, unfortunately the situation got a little out of hand.

Intention

______________________________________________________________

You already knew, even before you really knew it. There was something about him that drew you in so strongly, of course you couldn't resist the delight of stealing glances at him or engaging in superficial conversations with sarcastic undertones that you enjoyed so much about him.

Astarion always had a response that satisfied you or was good enough to please you. That's why you felt uncontrollable ecstasy when he proposed spending a night of pleasure by his side; you felt like you had achieved a great feat and could show him your skills as a one-night lover, or if things went well enough, it could become 'nights.'

You didn't anticipate was that things aren't as simple as you'd like. You knew that Astarion, in broad strokes, had a turbulent past, which, as much as it piqued your curiosity, you didn't want to delve into too deeply. You already had enough problems on your plate, now as the self-appointed "leader" of a group of people as different as water and oil, who under ordinary circumstances would never be gathered in one place;adding to this your own internal struggles about the decisions you should involve yourself in or simply overlook. Your night of pleasure and triumph was like a small reward to bear the burdens before you and those to come, like a cheeky and naughty little memory in the nights of cold darkness.

But this was not the case. You got involved more than you should have, perhaps more than Astarion even wanted. You felt that for that night of vulnerability, you had gotten closer to him than was really the case. The more you got to know him, the more you descended into an abyss, where every little disclosure about his life before the mind flayers incident was much more overwhelming and oppressive than the previous experience.

Astarion was not just a vampire spawn; he was a tortured slave in a thousand ways until he became so twisted to be enough to bare the suffering and survive. So, that malice that was initially captivating turned into cries for help, the sarcastic and fitting comments turned into mere empty gestures. Everyone in the group had a place to return to or perhaps refused to return to. But Astarion had nothing; he only had you, And with a bit of luck and maybe the hope that you would be to his liking, so that perhaps out of mere caprice you would help him not to become a prisoner of his master again, and count on your protection.

Your breaking point came the day he asked you almost longingly, "What is it exactly that you see?" He just wanted to see his face, something so mundane and routine had become an unattainable luxury for someone of his lineage. He didn't even remember the color of his former eyes. After that conversation, which might have seemed superficial, you knew that he had lost more than all those gathered there. He had lost something so special, so inherent to his being... he had lost his own individuality.

That night you cried bitterly, and you knew that with the taste of your salty tears, you had fallen in love with an unfortunate man who had nothing in this world, not even his body belonged to him after what Raphael confirmed, you know that you had a streak of bad luck in love and usually your suitors were very  haughty, but in this case, perhaps, just perhaps, this time, it was worth falling in love with a person like this, but you were really wrong about one thing, loving a person was never a waste, and in Astarion's case, you felt good about loving someone who hadn't been loved for a long time. Not even a few words of affection, even though it would be highly unlikely that he would feel the same way you did, you knew that you would move his world by knowing that there is at least one person who genuinely cares about his well-being and that was worth it. 

But even with all the love you have you couldn't in this moment give back what was taken from him. Not for the time being, and even that wouldn't make up for centuries of pain and agony.

But even so you wanted him to have something of his own, something intimate that couldn't be bought with the greatest of riches, the materializing of love, specifically the gaze of someone who deeply loves another. So, with the few materials given the circumstances and with some vague artistic conceptions, you decided to make him a portrait that captured his essence entirely. You couldn't be someone else to snatch away what little he had. But perhaps you could be the first person in centuries to give him something.

With that intention in mind, you began your little project.

______________________________________________________________

I wanted to contribute my bit on Tumblr too :). If you're interested in reading this, you can do so on Ao3.

[lenievi]

Bishop Myriel in 1.1.4: Être un saint, c'est l'exception; être un juste, c'est la règle. Errez, défaillez, péchez, mais soyez des justes.

Being a saint is an exception; being (a person who is) just is the rule. Err, fail, sin, but be just.

Javert in 1.6.2: Mon Dieu! c'est bien facile d'être bon, le malaisé c'est d'être juste.

My God! It's easy being good, it's difficult to be just.

---

my brain doesn't work atm but I'm gonna leave this here and maybe come back to it later. but you know something something about two different men walking two different paths and considering "being just" different things; the law of God/humanity (i.e. treating everyone just = equally) vs the law of man/authority & the ruling system (i.e. justice is there to protect the 'right people')

[rigelmejo]

Lmao with conversational chinese I am like... at the point I can listen to TeaTime Chinese and Maomi Chinese for main idea and some details, relisten for more details. You know, paying partial attention instead of focusing super intensely. So a hundred hours (or at least 50 since I initially tried podcasts) to finally understand the main idea of beginner level podcasts. Humbling lol. Both of these podcasts are great in that they provide an english translation the first time a new word is introduced that they don't expect you to know. Like 电报 dianbao telegram is a word I learned today. So these 2 podcasts in particular "hold your hand" more than some others I've found.

(And audio-visual materials are still better for learnimg the brand new words/getting a visual memory of the words I partly know, but podcasts have a lot of conversational discussion listening which I need to practice... and which is not really in cartoons as much or informational lesson type videos).

And then I recognize the main topic of some harder podcasts for learners like Talk to Me in Chinese, but I need to relisten to even know what her opinion is. Still need to practice with learner podcasts more, to gradually understand the more difficult ones.

Meanwhile 100 hours of listening did Amazing for my listening comprehension of audiobooks. I am so excited about how fast this is improving. I'm excited for when I can 1. Start handling MoDu chapters without any relistens, and getting most of the details on first listen (not sure when that'll happen). 2. Start brand new audiobooks of things I've never read before. Saye!!!!!! SCI!!!!! Those are the goalssss.

I love that with audiobooks about every 10-15 hours you get to see some (small or medium) noticeable improvement. With podcasts it feels like I'm equally comprehending stuff until at least 50 hours passes, then I notice some increase in comprehension, then wait another 50 hours.

[mossadspypigeon]

that is NOT why new historians rose to prominence oh my g-d 😂 🤦

the buffoonery is endless.

also to say we dont read our own material when they dont even watch hamas’ videos or read their literature ever.

“colonialism” meant something VERY DIFFERENT in 1910 and 1890 than it does now. same with “settling.” when it comes to herzl writing that, yes it was likely mistranslated from german. as in: the word could have had a different etymology at that time period etc. the german word he used translates to “colonization” in english, but again, words have different meanings at different times in history.

herzl mentioned some form of the word a few times in “the jewish state,” and before anyone on the other side accuses me of not having read it:

pulled it off my shelf :)

now:

the first mention outside of the foreword was in ch 1: introduction.

the original german:

the issue boils down to how words were used in the past vs how they are used now. native? meant the population that lived there previously, not the population with the deepest historical ties. especially to people living in EUROPE in the early 20th century.

colonization? meant to move to a land and live there. same with settling. it was used in the context of taking over the land and it was used GENERALLY. which is why even later, we said we wanted to “settle mars,” etc.

language changes over time. also herzl used the language available to him 🤷

another example? he calls machines “slaves” at one point:

if you cherry pick the words though without context, you could absolutely imply a whole host of bullshit. however? the actual meaning and context are innocent. same goes for the mentions of colonization.

i disagree with herzl on some things, but i agree with what he wrote about the jewish question, something NONE of these pro palestine anti israel people address or empathize with. they come to these documents, primary sources that require some understanding of the past and letting go of our own modern “rose colored glasses��� to interpret, in absolute bad faith and cherry pick random phrases out of context.

also if they ACTUALLY read panarab literature that gave birth to the palestinian national movement, they would see a lot worse ANDD they would see the same language used because that is how greater society around the world talked at the time period!!! the issue is, they don’t read that literature.

So I just came across smth very wild by a known Hamasnik, debunking the fact that the Jews are indigenous by insisting that "Herzl used the word colonial, so Israel must be colonial"! http://archive.today/2025.04.15-233931/https://tamamita.tumblr.com/post/780889007269806080/this-is-why-new-historians-rose-to-prominence

And there's also like some "New Historians" bit at at the end, which as far as I'm aware are led by some Israeli leftists who grew more critical of the existence of Israel. Actually, what do you know about these "New Historians"? And what about Arthur Ruppin?

Forwarding this to you given you know more about Israeli history than me.

I hate that these people assume Israelis / Jews don’t know their own history& think they know better.

-regarding the race theory bit- unfortunately, that man was a racist 🙃he was into eugenics and documenting the different Jewish groups.

He was also quite racist towards Ethiopian Jews (said they’re not” real” Jews).

That is well known today and not the focus of his achievements, we denounce that as a whole just like we did back then. We can appreciate his contribution to founding our country while acknowledging he’s a racist jerk.

- regarding Herzl: I bet the original quote was very mistranslated, it usually is. If you know which one, I’ll try to find the original.

[nerice]

for legal reasons, this is a series of screenshots instead of a text post. and also region locked to some degree,

[awek-s]

the person editing my piece for the anthology put my work through a translator…… 😣

[corcnaiism]

;-- just to think that this is how pandora ACTUALLY sounds like

[mauricemylittlemeowmeow]

*coughs blood* thinking of convoluted regency romantic literature-esque a/b/o burda

thoughts too long so ill just keep it under a read more instead of the tags

initial thought was dankovsky fixing artemy's posture which led to daniil teaching him manners which led to "oh my god governess daniil"

but i have no idea in what world hed give up being a bachelor of medicine so ofc my first thought was structuralised sexism which my brain helpfully interpreted as hell yeah omegaverse babyy

so now i have daniil with a sexist military father who lowkey loathes that his son who was supposed to work his way to also become a general can't bc hes an omega and omegas cant be enlisted. daniil still wants to pursue his own goals but bc of structuralised sexism, all hes seen as is a homemaker and someone to give birth to children.

he gets a basic education ofc complimentary to his rather well off upbringing but instead of finding an alpha and settling down, he decides to strike his own path and a la jane eyre and ends up as a governess. for years hes used the salary hes earned to fund his own higher ed self-study. hes not a bachelor bc hes not allowed to be, but he works his way to have practically the same knowledge+skillset as one in his own time.

at present hes using his money to fund his own private research into thanatology. it's all done in secret ofc but he publishes some of his writing under a pen name (it's caused quite a stir in the medical field bc it's not published as a scholarly work--danko can't bc if he submits it for peer review, hed have to expose himself--but as very technical "fictional" work which upon testing, proves true results)

his current job eventually ends and he finds new employment under a well known doctor and minor rural noble: isidor burakh. he writes to danko asking for him to educate his son and heir. daniil accepts, hoping that hed be immersed in an environment that would allow him to stealthily learn more medical stuff to aid in his own pursuits. he also accepts expecting a young child to look after as usual.

imagine daniil's surprise when said son is a whole ass 25 year old man.

anyways turns out burakh (the younger) is a bit of a wild child who prefers being in the steppe+town rather than acting as a noble. isidor called daniil in as a last ditch effort bc he feels like hes abt to die soon and artemy rlly needs to learn how to commingle properly w noble society once he officially takes over the family title.

anyways thats the premise!!!! idk abt plot i just want silly etiquette lessons and bullheaded artemy+frustrated governess!daniil bonding. daniil trying to tame artemy but then getting dragged into having fun himself. artemy finding out abt daniil's real dreams and ambitious, passionate personality. him trying to help but daniil being stubbornly independent (he doesnt want to be another omega being saved by an alpha or whatever)

just good old jane austen/brontë sisters romance shit!!!! no plague :)

[atinystraykid]

Good news:

I found a new therapist who is actually specialized in cases like me

After years of collecting anxiety diagnoses like Pokémon (social anxiety, generalized anxiety, agoraphobia, health anxiety etc.) I finally learned I do actually NOT have a classic anxiety disorder with panic attacks, and that my anxiety symptoms are actually directly related to my autism rather than being a separate issue, so they require a different approach

Ill be included in group sessions actually tailored to that now

Bad news:

I have a group session tomorrow and I am anxious about it

[penelopesodyssey]

If Ever

If we ever meet - do not greet me If we get around - do not come back If we're not together - do not come to me If you don't know where I am - do not look for me And you will never know how I miss you And I will never tell you how I loved you To my place you will never come And for you I will never ever cry for We cherished each other - but it's a memory now late We even loved once - but we'll never repeat that mistake

-Penelope

[miabrown007]

why does it matter so much what language are you reading a story in, it should be the same story!! but it does, oh it does.

[taintedcigs]

okay this might sound weird but as someone whose native language isn't english i sometimes feel left out and v frustrated😭 like i see all the ppl who have english as their native language and they are SOO good at writing the things that would probably take me hours to think of bc their thoughts and ideas are in english!!! and writing is probably easier for them (its still NOT easy at all so props to everyone for being SO talented!!) but bc i have to translate my thoughts it is so much harder bc usually the words lose their meaning once they are translated and its so frustrating bc i just keep doubting myself abt whether i translated what i thought into perfect english, and then i feel like im not understood and i feel the need to tell everyone that I ACTUALLY SOUND RLLY SMART AND WRITE BETTER IN MY NATIVE LANGUAGE I PROMISE!!!!

[taexual]

Do you also read fanfictions? I am writing one but since English is not my mother language, I am afraid to actually post it lmao. Could you read? See if there's any grammar mistakes and if it flows naturally as it should. But if you cant, dont worry. I totally understand

hii, i don't really do beta reading/editing, sorry!! i can suggest some helpful tools, though, such as grammarly or instatext -- i've used both myself, and they're great! instatext requires a subscription, but you get a free trial period and can edit small portions of text for free every day

and if you think you'd prefer a person to read through it for you, you can always make a public post on tumblr, and ask if anyone would be interested!!!

regardless, have confidence, love!!! you're doing great 🤍🤍🤍

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

The fact in English you can't use the verb 'wed/marry' to tell two things fit (perfectly) together (ex: lips kissing, clothes suiting someone's body, etc) is a shame ngl

[takasgf]

worst part about writing a silly selfship story* is ending it. what do you mean thats all. there were not enough kisses (they were enough)

* i call "fanfics" stories because mine are super super short