#I write in my native language and then translate to English
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Writer Interview Game
thank you for the tag @houndsinhades! 💛
how many works do you have on ao3? 11.
what's your total ao3 word count? 185K.
your top 5 stories by kudos? all drarry unless noted:
Crush (E, 8K)
Gemini in Retrograde (T, 38K)
Our Objective Remains Unchanged (E, 46K)
The Roommates (E, 3K, Drarry + Sirius/Draco)
Löyly (E, 10K)
do you respond to comments? yes!
what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Flesh Memory (Harry/Teddy, E, 11K).
what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? I think The Pain From an Old Wound (T, 30K) probably has the most romantic ending? Highly subjective. I mostly write happy endings.
do you write crossovers? I have a not-yet-abandoned wip from last year that is kind of a crossover...
have you ever received hate on a fic? My fic Permanent tends to get the strongest reactions, idk if I would call it 'hate.' I am happy with how I characterized both Harry and Draco in that fic, but some commenters end the fic very angry with Harry.
do you write smut? often and with great joy.
have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of.
have you ever had a fic translated? @delphise translated Crush into Russian! 💛 translation is incredible.
have you ever co-written a fic before? @wolfpants (you're tagged wolf) and I are working on it! (and we have been DOING our homework this week okay)
what's your all-time favorite ship? i mean.
what's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? oh :( I am so committed to my WIPs, I really intend to finish them all. De-aged Draco! Slutty Sirius! I WILL write you!
I originally had a very different concept for my Erised that I wrote a decent amount of before shifting focus. It was a quasi-8th year fic where Draco and Harry intern at Gringotts together. A lot of the original bones of the fic made it into the final version. I don't know if there's enough originality left in v1 to be interesting enough for me to finish, but I also feel a bit wasteful leaving ~20K of fic on the cutting room floor. Plus -- Marcus Flint was a presence in v1 and I really enjoyed him.
what are your writing strengths? dialogue is the easiest for me to write.
what are your writing weaknesses? everything else. endings. actually describing what's happening instead of writing like it's a play.
what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I enjoy it when a POV character doesn't understand the language (and thus, it's possible-to-likely the reader won't understand it either). However. I cringe sometimes thinking about the Finnish I put in Löyly without getting a native speaker to read it over. Any future non-English language I will have checked.
what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? Wolfstar as the main ship! More Teddy, I am really interested in that character.
what's your favorite fic you've ever written? even though i'd change some things about it writing it now vs 2 years ago.... still my eldest child OORU 🚣
ok tagging @hephaestiions @sweet-s0rr0w @tackytigerfic @desertforestfic @garagepaperback @getawayfox @sorrybutblog and anyone else who sees!
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The First Piece (Fanfic)
One day you decided to give Astarion a drawing of himself, made by you, unfortunately the situation got a little out of hand.
Intention
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You already knew, even before you really knew it. There was something about him that drew you in so strongly, of course you couldn't resist the delight of stealing glances at him or engaging in superficial conversations with sarcastic undertones that you enjoyed so much about him.
Astarion always had a response that satisfied you or was good enough to please you. That's why you felt uncontrollable ecstasy when he proposed spending a night of pleasure by his side; you felt like you had achieved a great feat and could show him your skills as a one-night lover, or if things went well enough, it could become 'nights.'
You didn't anticipate was that things aren't as simple as you'd like. You knew that Astarion, in broad strokes, had a turbulent past, which, as much as it piqued your curiosity, you didn't want to delve into too deeply. You already had enough problems on your plate, now as the self-appointed "leader" of a group of people as different as water and oil, who under ordinary circumstances would never be gathered in one place;adding to this your own internal struggles about the decisions you should involve yourself in or simply overlook. Your night of pleasure and triumph was like a small reward to bear the burdens before you and those to come, like a cheeky and naughty little memory in the nights of cold darkness.
But this was not the case. You got involved more than you should have, perhaps more than Astarion even wanted. You felt that for that night of vulnerability, you had gotten closer to him than was really the case. The more you got to know him, the more you descended into an abyss, where every little disclosure about his life before the mind flayers incident was much more overwhelming and oppressive than the previous experience.
Astarion was not just a vampire spawn; he was a tortured slave in a thousand ways until he became so twisted to be enough to bare the suffering and survive. So, that malice that was initially captivating turned into cries for help, the sarcastic and fitting comments turned into mere empty gestures. Everyone in the group had a place to return to or perhaps refused to return to. But Astarion had nothing; he only had you, And with a bit of luck and maybe the hope that you would be to his liking, so that perhaps out of mere caprice you would help him not to become a prisoner of his master again, and count on your protection.
Your breaking point came the day he asked you almost longingly, "What is it exactly that you see?" He just wanted to see his face, something so mundane and routine had become an unattainable luxury for someone of his lineage. He didn't even remember the color of his former eyes. After that conversation, which might have seemed superficial, you knew that he had lost more than all those gathered there. He had lost something so special, so inherent to his being... he had lost his own individuality.
That night you cried bitterly, and you knew that with the taste of your salty tears, you had fallen in love with an unfortunate man who had nothing in this world, not even his body belonged to him after what Raphael confirmed, you know that you had a streak of bad luck in love and usually your suitors were very haughty, but in this case, perhaps, just perhaps, this time, it was worth falling in love with a person like this, but you were really wrong about one thing, loving a person was never a waste, and in Astarion's case, you felt good about loving someone who hadn't been loved for a long time. Not even a few words of affection, even though it would be highly unlikely that he would feel the same way you did, you knew that you would move his world by knowing that there is at least one person who genuinely cares about his well-being and that was worth it.
But even with all the love you have you couldn't in this moment give back what was taken from him. Not for the time being, and even that wouldn't make up for centuries of pain and agony.
But even so you wanted him to have something of his own, something intimate that couldn't be bought with the greatest of riches, the materializing of love, specifically the gaze of someone who deeply loves another. So, with the few materials given the circumstances and with some vague artistic conceptions, you decided to make him a portrait that captured his essence entirely. You couldn't be someone else to snatch away what little he had. But perhaps you could be the first person in centuries to give him something.
With that intention in mind, you began your little project.
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I wanted to contribute my bit on Tumblr too :). If you're interested in reading this, you can do so on Ao3.
#astarion#bg3 astarion#bg3 tav#bg3 fic#bg3 fanfiction#astarion fic#astarion ancunin#astarion fanfic#my post#first post#im so nervous#hope you like <3#hope you enjoy#i need sleep#sleep deprived af#read on ao3#read tags!!#female mc#ao3 writer#archive of our own#english#I write in my native language and then translate to English#baldur's gate 3#bg3
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Bishop Myriel in 1.1.4: Être un saint, c'est l'exception; être un juste, c'est la règle. Errez, défaillez, péchez, mais soyez des justes.
Being a saint is an exception; being (a person who is) just is the rule. Err, fail, sin, but be just.
Javert in 1.6.2: Mon Dieu! c'est bien facile d'être bon, le malaisé c'est d'être juste.
My God! It's easy being good, it's difficult to be just.
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my brain doesn't work atm but I'm gonna leave this here and maybe come back to it later. but you know something something about two different men walking two different paths and considering "being just" different things; the law of God/humanity (i.e. treating everyone just = equally) vs the law of man/authority & the ruling system (i.e. justice is there to protect the 'right people')
#idk if myriel's 'just' has the right connotations in english but well#leni reads les miserables#so i started to read the book. i read it in my native language not french - i don't speak french#i might be annoying about it. or not who knows. you never know with me#i'm so tempted to annotate my hardback copy with translation choices from 1898#but it's not like there's space on the pages lol#but also writing in books is like NOPE for me lol#well i guess we'll see#i'll use tumblr for notes instead i guess lol#javert#les miserables
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the person editing my piece for the anthology put my work through a translator…… 😣
#I’m quite upset about it they assumed I didn’t write the english version myself and just put it through a translator#so they put the one in my native language through another translator to get a different eng ver and asked me if that’s better and I was like#no ? I wrote both myself it’s not better the eng ver is disjointed now 🥴#I told them to just edit it themselves and let me retranslate it based on the edits#I know the person is an undergraduate and this is probably an opportunity that looks good on their resume but … I actually gasped when I#read the email ?#when the whole anthology comes out I’m gonna have to have a talk with the founder especially if it makes no sense ? like#the entire thing is made up of foreign students’ work btw#mrow.org
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;-- just to think that this is how pandora ACTUALLY sounds like
#;ooc#:^)#yes she really does sound like that#but she translates her native tongue to whatever language she needs in order to communicate with humans#so people hear her speak english for ex. when she's talking directly to them#but outsiders hear her speak in chimes#aaaaaa#i need to write down a full list of her abilities#bc her google doc didn't give me room to do so#tbh listening to wind chimes to soothe my headache is kinda it
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*coughs blood* thinking of convoluted regency romantic literature-esque a/b/o burda
thoughts too long so ill just keep it under a read more instead of the tags
initial thought was dankovsky fixing artemy's posture which led to daniil teaching him manners which led to "oh my god governess daniil"
but i have no idea in what world hed give up being a bachelor of medicine so ofc my first thought was structuralised sexism which my brain helpfully interpreted as hell yeah omegaverse babyy
so now i have daniil with a sexist military father who lowkey loathes that his son who was supposed to work his way to also become a general can't bc hes an omega and omegas cant be enlisted. daniil still wants to pursue his own goals but bc of structuralised sexism, all hes seen as is a homemaker and someone to give birth to children.
he gets a basic education ofc complimentary to his rather well off upbringing but instead of finding an alpha and settling down, he decides to strike his own path and a la jane eyre and ends up as a governess. for years hes used the salary hes earned to fund his own higher ed self-study. hes not a bachelor bc hes not allowed to be, but he works his way to have practically the same knowledge+skillset as one in his own time.
at present hes using his money to fund his own private research into thanatology. it's all done in secret ofc but he publishes some of his writing under a pen name (it's caused quite a stir in the medical field bc it's not published as a scholarly work--danko can't bc if he submits it for peer review, hed have to expose himself--but as very technical "fictional" work which upon testing, proves true results)
his current job eventually ends and he finds new employment under a well known doctor and minor rural noble: isidor burakh. he writes to danko asking for him to educate his son and heir. daniil accepts, hoping that hed be immersed in an environment that would allow him to stealthily learn more medical stuff to aid in his own pursuits. he also accepts expecting a young child to look after as usual.
imagine daniil's surprise when said son is a whole ass 25 year old man.
anyways turns out burakh (the younger) is a bit of a wild child who prefers being in the steppe+town rather than acting as a noble. isidor called daniil in as a last ditch effort bc he feels like hes abt to die soon and artemy rlly needs to learn how to commingle properly w noble society once he officially takes over the family title.
anyways thats the premise!!!! idk abt plot i just want silly etiquette lessons and bullheaded artemy+frustrated governess!daniil bonding. daniil trying to tame artemy but then getting dragged into having fun himself. artemy finding out abt daniil's real dreams and ambitious, passionate personality. him trying to help but daniil being stubbornly independent (he doesnt want to be another omega being saved by an alpha or whatever)
just good old jane austen/brontë sisters romance shit!!!! no plague :)
#by god if it werent for “sorry english is not my native language” and dyslexia i would be a fanfic writer#alas i have to go through google translate every time i try to write lines#SORRY ENGLISH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE!!!!#i only know the funny words. i know nicer words too to convey things prettier but not in english#fic ideas#i need a personal patho tag i dont want to tag the main one lmao#patho posting#tagging the ship tho fuck u all ur now subject to my brainrot too#burakhovsky#sorry if the rant is bad i just write down what i think and i cant check the grammar after bc words swim 👍 sorry english is- *gets shot*
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Good news:
I found a new therapist who is actually specialized in cases like me
After years of collecting anxiety diagnoses like Pokémon (social anxiety, generalized anxiety, agoraphobia, health anxiety etc.) I finally learned I do actually NOT have a classic anxiety disorder with panic attacks, and that my anxiety symptoms are actually directly related to my autism rather than being a separate issue, so they require a different approach
Ill be included in group sessions actually tailored to that now
Bad news:
I have a group session tomorrow and I am anxious about it
#Oliver Talks#actually autistic#actually disabled#I wanted to write down „and my panic attacks are actually autistic meltdowns“ but I’m not 100% sure if he said meltdowns or shutdowns#(Since our conversation was in my native language so I’m not sure on the English translation)
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If Ever
If we ever meet - do not greet me If we get around - do not come back If we're not together - do not come to me If you don't know where I am - do not look for me And you will never know how I miss you And I will never tell you how I loved you To my place you will never come And for you I will never ever cry for We cherished each other - but it's a memory now late We even loved once - but we'll never repeat that mistake
-Penelope
#my writing#my poetry#spilled thoughts#spilled ink#i translated this from my native language into english#short writing#my own writing#original post#not a bot#heartbreak poem#original writing
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why does it matter so much what language are you reading a story in, it should be the same story!! but it does, oh it does.
#tumblr kept raving on about how pretty the prose in Autoboyography is and I didn't understand because it was really nothing special to me#but now I'm finding quotes in English and hello??? this is so pretty and poetic and it sounds so good#but I read it in Hungarian and now I'm mad at missing out on this#the story was still touching and the pacing good but the phrasing is just so much better in the original#and I was noticing things that made me go even while reading huh this translation isn't very good now is it#but it matter this much??? ahhh#will I just have to read all books on its source language now?#also I always wonder about the role of my personal interpretation and perception of reading things in different languages#based on like. I'm more detached in English so uncomfortable topics and expressing emotions are easier to tackle like that#but then I'd expect that romance hits harder in my native language because it has the power to deliver the emotions better#was it just the bad translation or is this something?#in this phd proposition I will. . .#anyway the book is about a queer not-mormon and a not-queer mormon falling in love on brandon sanderson's writing class.#would recommend it was very interesting#miaing
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okay this might sound weird but as someone whose native language isn't english i sometimes feel left out and v frustrated😭 like i see all the ppl who have english as their native language and they are SOO good at writing the things that would probably take me hours to think of bc their thoughts and ideas are in english!!! and writing is probably easier for them (its still NOT easy at all so props to everyone for being SO talented!!) but bc i have to translate my thoughts it is so much harder bc usually the words lose their meaning once they are translated and its so frustrating bc i just keep doubting myself abt whether i translated what i thought into perfect english, and then i feel like im not understood and i feel the need to tell everyone that I ACTUALLY SOUND RLLY SMART AND WRITE BETTER IN MY NATIVE LANGUAGE I PROMISE!!!!
#em talks#LIKE THATS WHY I GET SO NERVOUS ABOHT MY MISTAKES#and thats probably why i kinda hate my writing#bc idk how its perceived😭😭😭#the language barrier is hard sometimes ://#also im not blaming anyone or anything i just feel frustrated sometimes#it takes me forever to write bc usually the words in my native language don’t translate to english well#so i just stand there like?!?!! WELL.#or i have to spend hours doing research on american thinngs😭
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Do you also read fanfictions? I am writing one but since English is not my mother language, I am afraid to actually post it lmao. Could you read? See if there's any grammar mistakes and if it flows naturally as it should. But if you cant, dont worry. I totally understand
hii, i don't really do beta reading/editing, sorry!! i can suggest some helpful tools, though, such as grammarly or instatext -- i've used both myself, and they're great! instatext requires a subscription, but you get a free trial period and can edit small portions of text for free every day
and if you think you'd prefer a person to read through it for you, you can always make a public post on tumblr, and ask if anyone would be interested!!!
regardless, have confidence, love!!! you're doing great 🤍🤍🤍
#ask#anonymous#english is not my first language either so i've probably tried out every free text-editing software available#just to see if i'm using an excessive amount of words (i am) and if it's possible to reduce them (it is but sometimes i don't want to)#so explore these options but always believe in yourself!!!#i personally have always loved books from non-english writers even though i usually read the english translations#because often if the english translation is good and stays close to the original text#then the book includes phrasings and grammatical constructions that come from the writer's native language#and therefore they're new to me!! and listen i read a lot and i see a lot of cliches#so to read a text with unusual and not overused expressions is so refreshing and inspiring!!!#i guess what i'm saying is don't be afraid if you can't express yourself like a “true native speaker”#because that can be exactly what makes your writing special!!#no shade to the native speakers though like damn good for y'all we out here fighting for our lives 🫠
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The fact in English you can't use the verb 'wed/marry' to tell two things fit (perfectly) together (ex: lips kissing, clothes suiting someone's body, etc) is a shame ngl
#today in: i finally continue writing but also as i write i realize English translation of what i write will never be at the same level#as their original version in my native language
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like it when people say things like "Wow, you have a nice writing style" or "what an interesting style". I mean, I'm INCREDIBLY flattered, but it's so fun and unusual mostly because...
It's a translation. Which means that Ukrainian is actually very suitable for literary writing: I love playing with the number of synonyms, or words whose cognates are based solely on the situation, or long, convoluted sentences that can be put on a page without repetition or connecting words. In English, of course, you can do most of these things too, but it usually tends to be simplified to be understood by everyone, which is incredible, which is why it's an international language.
But because of these not-so-unique features of English, a text translated from Ukrainian may sound unusually interesting to a native speaker.
No, I have my own style, of course (at least I hope so), but it's always so interesting to see how the text changes after translation and when I edit it, because don't think that I just copy and paste it through a translator. I always check how accurately the text is translated, because my level of English is more than enough to do that.
A rather interesting example: I was looking for synonyms for "I mean" in English, and after trying at least three synonyms in Ukrainian, it still remained "I mean" in translation.
And also, if I write something for you on writing prompts, it will most likely be a translation, so I think this is a pretty interesting detail of my writing to talk about a little bit more.
#bartimaeus#It doesn't really fit this tag but I want to put it here anyway because all I've been writing lately is Bartimaeus.#I also just want to make as much content here as I can.#Fun fact: technically#if I wanted to spend at least half an hour of my time picking my brain#I could write posts here without translation#But my thoughts and the way I write them are quite complex and difficult#so for now I'm doing it this way.#I hope that one day my English level will be such that it won't matter to me#But so far it is not(#And don't think that I don't like English. I love it very much. And I'm learning it even now ahaha#(But I still like Ukrainian better#because it's my native language#and writing in it is just something incredible
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worst part about writing a silly selfship story* is ending it. what do you mean thats all. there were not enough kisses (they were enough)
* i call "fanfics" stories because mine are super super short
#i stretched it as much as i could#but im still sad to just end it :( now i have to start a whole new story to write more UGHHH#ill post it if its still cute after i translate it#this time i fully wrote it in my native language because english is tiring
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i've been writing a luke skywalker character study with dinluke undertones for the past two days(?) and so far i only managed to write like 300 words, feel like i'll be giving up on that wip really soon because my lack of a formal understanding of english grammar is frustrating the shit out of me
#I'm used to writing 3k in my native language#why writing in english is so frustrating#IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S THAT HARD#but i do feel like my writing style doesn't translate very well to english... or maybe i just need to practice more and get used to it idk#[struggles in brazilian portuguese]#luke skywalker#dinluke
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Seeing my work get translated into my native language feels so utterly bizarre LMAO
Either way, I feel super flattered to see smth I made be shared around like that! Especially when I think about the effort put into translating it <3
#mia babbles#it's genuinely so funny bc i used to write in my native language and then translate it to english#now i just write in english from the get go#like hi hello#i am actually your neighbor#all of this is written down positively btw it made me real giddy to stumble onto it#i'm too shy to actually speak out and say that i'm the author on their post itself#so i'll just express my giddiness here
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