#I wouldn't be nearly as mad
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Why is the AO3 publication of You Monster only accesible for registered users?
Because of the whole sudowrites fiasco that I became aware of about a month back.
Now, I know AI writing tools have been around for a few years now, and honestly?? I'm not totally opposed to them. I think they're fun to mess with and might even be useful if you're stuck on writing something and don't know where to take it next. I can see a situation where an AI spiting out a couple of paragraphs could help someone get out of some writers block.
But sudowrites is for profit, which makes my blood boil. I like to write for fun. I like to make comics for fun. Yeah, it's nice when people throw me a dollar my way to show their appreciation, but ultimately I don't do this for money. I make fan art and comics for the sake of fandom and community. (Hell, it's borderline illegal to write fan fiction for profit because it could be seen as IP infringement.)
The thought that sudowrites took years of my work that I did for the pure joy of creating only to turn around and use that work to generate free money is just.... it's soul crushing. It makes me not want to create or share if I know some faceless bot is just going to take it so some faceless corporation can use it to teach a money printer.
And I know, I know, if my work has already been scraped by the AI, it's already in the database and can't be "unlearned". And I know, I know, as of today no AI, however smart, still can't construct an original narrative with cohesive plots or character arcs or three-act-structures, so true human writers still have the leg-up when it comes to story telling.
But it doesn't change the fact that I still feel violated by these AIs. I still feel robbed by them and used by them. I'm still upset, mad, insulted and hurt, and I might be for a while.
I do plan to un-private most of my works in the future, though not for a while. Maybe when art and writing AIs feel less prevalent or have more regulations around them. Maybe sooner if AO3 can somehow implement "anti-AI scraping tools".
But until then, it makes me not want to share or write anything if I know it’s just going to be taken from me and used without my permission for someone else’s gain.
#writing AIs just... suck out the soul and take the fun out of creating#but you know what???#if sudowrites was made my some engineering students done solely for fun and not profit#I wouldn't be nearly as mad#I just hate hate hate this trend that everything that exists nowadays must do so for profit#any thing you do any action you make must be one that can be monotized#I don't like being used to make money without my consent or permission#''you are not allowed to exist unless you generate money''#''you are not allowed to create unless it is for financial gain''#this mindset makes me sick and it feels like sudowrites is FORCING me to participate in it against my will
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An interesting trend I've observed in other Beatles fandom spaces (mainly reddit) is a resistance to the concept of John being attracted to men due to a general impression that John was fundamentally an open book and would not have shied away from mentioning/naming his own sexual orientation.
On the one hand, this feels like a naïve way of interacting with John's image, which he very consciously branded as Authentic™, and also demonstrates some ignorance regarding the hardships of coming out as a public figure, especially in the 1970s.
On the other hand, I do think it points to an interesting underlying contradiction within John: because, even if his image was crafted, I don't think he would have crafted it in that way if authenticity wasn't a core value to him – and, given he was almost definitely not straight, I wonder a lot how that would have played into his feelings on the topic.
#this is well within the realm of pure speculation so im leaving it in the tags:#but sometimes when i see how much john complained about the suits after the fact#when he by most accounts didn't protest nearly as much when brian first suggested them#i wonder if john is actually more mad about other ways he felt stifled and projecting on the suits because it's easier#if there were big parts of him (not only sexuality actually) he was hiding and that fact weighed on him a lot.#and the fact that sexuality wouldn't even be something he could express after the beatles broke up#john#john speculation#my analysis#meta#fiona.docx
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someone: how angsty do you want your identity reveal scenario to be?
me: so what if right after Anya's powers are revealed Twilight asks her why she tricked him into adopting her, if she was put into it by someone else in order to expose him, and Anya tries to tell him she wanted to help and he asks why would you want to help me and she's like "because you want a peaceful world where children don't cry" and he nearly has a flashback triggered by that and she runs and hugs his legs saying she wants to help and be good and Twilight just. Pushes her away. Gently and without physically hurting her but emotionally it's a massacre. And he sees her devastated face because of his rejection and realizes he has now caused her the pain he never wanted to see on another child's face, and he thanks whatever lucky stars he doesn't deserve that Yor is there because he cannot process anything else and just leaves out the door, leaving Anya to bawl in Yor's arms :)
#he would eventually drag his ass back home#but Yor would be so outraged she would slap him so hard his jaw would nearly dislocate#and look look I have an entire story planned for this#like Yor stays with Anya all day because she wouldn't stop crying#they call Yor for an assignment and she has to say no#cause she cannot leave Anya even with a babysitter at the state she's in#and then the Shopkeeper is pissed and orders one of his assassins to poison Anya#and she ends up in the hospital#Yor and Loid find out who poisoned her and Loid goes to kill the ppl responsible#but it was a TRAP! Shopkeeper captures him and orders Yor to kill him#but Yor kills Shopkeeper instead!! less for Loid's sake and more because of what he did to Anya#they cover it all up and they go back to the hospital#Loid has a breakdown and cries next to an unconscious Anya telling her how sorry he is about what he did to her#and that it's his fault that she was poisoned#she wakes up and he apologizes again and says he'll understand if she's mad#but she just hugs him and for the first time HE HUGS HER BACK and they're both crying#and eventually he falls asleep next to her on her hospital bed#Yor finds them sleeping like that and decides to give him another cautious chance#Spy x Family#sxf plot bunny#I can't wait for this to actually happen and for me to learn about it in seven years when it'll happen in the anime *clown emoji*
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consistently finding the most sarcastic characters to protect with my whole chest
#you will have to take munch and fin from my cold dead hands#when someone says not all cops they're right fin and much would not let this happen to me#my princesses#they are so annoying and i love them so bad#bensler is dead all signs point to munchfin#that's a joke but honestly i wouldn't even be mad at it#john munch#odafin tutuola#fin tutuola#finn tutuola#which one is IT??#the two people most susceptible to hate crime being partners and not catching nearly as much shit as el and liv? amazing!#there's one racey episode a season and they slay down every time#the connection i have to finn and munch is crazy#like wow ? i love these old people so bad???
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"OMG! Did you know that pigs would easily eat a human? How scandalous! Outrageous! Disgusting! Pure proof of their immorality!"
- average Jessica, who eats porkchop with their family once a month
#LISTEN i understand instinctively and subconsciously we way try and protect our own specie - our own kin -#other species would as well!#that doesnt mean that on a concious logical level we should be mad at other species for being fije with eating humans when nine times out of#them we CONSTANTLY eat THEM#also - im not saying that you HAVE to NEVER eat meat and that you are a horrible being for it -#because meat contaijs a lot of important things for your body that are difficult to obtain otherwise#that's also not to say the current power and privilege we hold over other species and that the way we abuse animals is good#objectively planet Earth would be better off if all humans were dead#there would be a ton of complilations especially at the beginning but with time it would be better for the planet#thats NOT to say i think we should eradicate all our existences - just like i wouldn't advocate for the eradication of all mosquito due to#them being responsible for many peoples malaria#which is nor exactly the best comparison i suppose#but no innocent life should be “sacrificed for the greater good”. they deserve to live like all others and its not their fault specifically#its not your fault for being born in a time where nearly impossible not to unintentionally participate in the destruction of earth#its the systems fault#too bad most people in power are huge assholes#alright sorry for yapping.#toki rambles
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Just rewatching 3x43 for no real reason but Matt mentioned the fact that predathos left twisted life forms in its wake....
Anyway remember the Darrington Brigade where a meteor falls to exandria, making the wolves and the duck (quackthulu my beloved) super fucked? And then they turned the meteor over to a member of the assembly???
I'm sure that means nothing....
#pls dont make the Darrington Brigade plot relevant#still my fav cr one shot but i will cry#im so mad its nearly 2 am but my brain wouldn't let me rest#why does it make sense#F U C K#critical role spoilers#critical role#bells hells#cr spoilers#moons haunted
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wish yami luck ! she’ll need it in s41 : )
(Nyx stares at you for a long moment, his eyes slowly becoming more and more glassy with unshed tears) Don't you dare smile at me like that and tell me my daughter is being sent to die. Who the fuck do you think you are? I know what happens up on that fucking stage, I'm not a child. 'Wish her luck, she'll need it'? What are you going to do to her? I fucking swear, if you hurt her- (his voice cracks on his shout and in the brief moment he isn't yelling, he breaks down into tears.)
(Dian scoops Nyx up into his arms and tries futilely to soothe him) You're okay, starshine, just let it out. (Dian looks up at you, his eyes lacking any mirth or cheer.) I don't know what your game is but you fuck with my family and I fuck with you, alright? Yami might not be ours anymore, but, (he hesitates, resting his forehead against Nyx's hair) she's still ours. All I can hope is that she meets someone who makes her happy.
#okay apri so i gotta clarify- this isn't me getting mad at you kay? this is just. nyx and dian wouldn't. react well to a message like this#especially not nyx lmao. god he is not nearly as mentally stable as he likes to pretend he is#just know that when you mentioned yami and s41 nyx's mind also went to asahi and s40 and he is experiencing the horrors now 👍#dian is able to process it a little better because he's more detached from it tbh but also he's not. handling it the best :)#alnst oc: dian#alnst oc: onyx#alnst oc: yami#thank you so much for this question. gave me an opportunity to show how nyx is when he's angry emotional heh
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youtube
this interview now being unavailable is tragic b/c the truest highlight reel is the full thing
#tumblr big mad at me trying to upload this here despite it being < 500mb & < 10 min like wouldn't work And logging me out repeatedly. so#bmc#joe iconis#stephen brackett#chase brock#jason tam#will roland#george salazar#a Tendency here to focus on fun & antics & not even All These Moments of organic spontaneous comedice setup/payoff lmao#but truly the full thing is interesting & engaging & fun....put it back sheen talks like what's the issue#the little aside from will to george after Stephen Brackett's Performance ''we can all go home'' (mmhm)#Youtube#practically a Hidden Cut on accident there between will talking about first meeting joe & then talking [i sang this nearly was mine]#two separate stories two separate moments but the edit turned out quite smooth lmao
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Demon trying to feed on my insecurities: "You're a bad driver"
Me: "Of course I am. I hate driving. Going 80 mph surrounded by tons of metal is nerve-wrecking. I try to do it as little as possible. Of course I'm bad at it"
Demon: "You're a bad writer"
Me: "Well that part's simply not true. I never claimed I was the greatest author of my generation, but when I put pen to paper I know what I want to communicate and I usually do it well. If someone isn't impressed with my work, that's unfortunate but they're entitled to their opinion"
Demon: "You're a bad leader"
Me: "Well I don't know about that! I mean there was that one time when... Ok look just because people don't see me as an authority figure doesn't mean... 😠 You know you can be a real asshole, demon!"
#joking aside the reason I suck at helping people is probably not dissimilar from why I'm bad at driving#the joke is “having good ideas which would work if people let you boss them around” and#“having enough charisma to persuade people to let you boss them around” are two different skills and I don't have nearly enough patience#for the latter#but no really it makes me deeply insecure seeing sycophants rally around the most transparently incompetent and self-interested POS people#and meanwhile I'm getting called shrill and presumptuous for pointing out that the left-wing is poorly organized and I could do it better#can we agree it's at least a little bit because I have aspergers and no penis?#like I realize what I'm doing is the political equivalent of “but I'm such a nice guy!” and I'm literally complaining that no one#respects ma authoritah#but just saying: maybe I wouldn't come off as such a petulant misanthrope#if I wasn't constantly being asked to fix problems that could have been avoided if everyone listened to me in the first place#“nobody likes an i-told-you-so” yeah that's why democracies keep falling to fascism cus you want someone pleasant over someone correct#at the same time sooner or later you have to look in the mirror#and I can count the group projects I've successfully headed on one hand; maybe it's me#if it was just that people don't listen to me than yeah this would just mean I have an ego#but there are plenty of women the left could be rallying around and it doesn't because of minor scandals and anarchist ideals#it's stupid and I'm becoming a tankie just because i'm sick of the idea#that political goals can be accomplished without a clear chain of commmand#i don't need to be the leader but WE NEED A LEADER#the hatian revolution succeeded because Toussaint Louverture organized random slave rioting into an actual army#and I just wish I had that kind of magic myself but I might already be too bitter#ftr this isn't in response to anything that happened recently I'm just still mad thinking about an anarchist group I tried to join#on facebook five years ago where I asked point blank what the marching orders were and got blocked for being “obviously a cop”#and the mod comes at me with “anarchists don't have leaders IDIOT”#yeah well you're the guys always saying you only oppose UNJUST hierarchies idiot!#excuse me for thinking you guys had a plan beyond perpetual infighting#not everyone asking blunt questions about the anarchist platform are feds you guys are just paranoid and ableist#and when you block people for asking what game plan is it really sounds like you just plain don't have one (which is depressing)#I don't care how many books there are about how anarchism is more than just “wanting a free-for-all”#if you attack anyone who tries to impose a hierarchy just to get shit done it really seems like that first impression of
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And for bad oversharing medical news the arrhythmia from december never went away but I thought maybe the throat infection was still there right so that could be a reason but then I went to a specialist and not only is it practically cured (just lingering a bit) but my lungs sound fine as well! which means! the shortness of breath is probably something wrong with the oxygen in the bloodstream and the slight chest tightness is also extremely worrying I could only make an appointment to get it checked next friday and that sounds like way too long
#I know it's morbid but the only thing I can think about is how fucking mad I am at my parents and how I wish I had someone else to take care#of my things and burial if I were to die#they don't know me#they would do everything against my wishes because they never cared to listen#and Especially I am mad at my dad cause when this started he was around and I was really scared and upset and nearly crying and I told him#that I was considering going to the hospital right there and then and then he didn't. fucking say anything or ask if I was okay#they'll never listen anything just registers as crazy fucking kid having a tantrum again let's give her space leave her out of sight#And I had to Yell at him to stop telling me not to go to the hospital the next day and I mean Yell and he still said they'd deny it#that I was making it up if I had just been on my fucking own I wouldn't have double guessed myself on it and gone to the wrong specialist#and wasted time and gotten to the point where it's not like debilitating pain but constantly aware that it's there and I can only like eat#heart healthy shit that I don't even like and wait and god I am so upset at them why so I have to be alone and yet still be so tied to them#why pretend to care when I've said time and time again they're still hurting me like nearly everytime we see each other#Okay nevermind I actually Need to distract myself now usually confronting feelings is my favorite#but my body is telling me that if I want to cry I have to deal with it physically feeling like there's a hole between my ribs so#I'll hold off on it#I'll be fine#god going to sleep has been the absolute worse#delete later
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saltburn wasted my damn time
#not nearly weird or crazy enough for me#i'm mad now#i kinda knew it wouldn't be as weird as people made it sound#but i thought it would be freakier#idk.#disappointing
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.
#if pokemon really do announce a new legends game i actually will explode like.....legends arceus but improved????#can literally only be good#look i like scarvi i have nearly 100 hours of playtime in violet and will def break 100+ wheb the next dlc drops#and thats alot of play hours for me like the only other games ive suprpassed 100 hours in is totk and xenoblades 2 + 3 lmao#but lisitwn.... I wouldn't even be mad if they dropped the old pokemon formula and focused on legends type games#in fact i think they should#pokemon has stagnated long enough....release gamefreak from their chains......
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This long ass shift and the assistant manager not holding up her end of this is about to be my villain origin story
#i have been here for 12 hours#she was supposed to relieve me nearly an HOUR ago#the schedule says she comes in at 8 but she deadass told me she was coming in at 6 to do paperwork or some shit#i wouldn't be mad if she had just come in at 8 as usual#but i agreed to fill in for my coworker and work until 6 when she got here#that was the offer i was given#it is 6:52#all my calls are going straight to voicemail#i got cleaning chemicals all over my shirt and had to change into one a coul#couple sizes smaller than i need but it fits okay for now#the lights are fucking buzzing#i am in pain#I'm hungry#hangry even#i have cried twice because i have been alone with my thoughts too long#istg#i am blocking everyone from work these next 2 days#i am annoyed
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I know it was for a good cause and a good event but fucking hell if you're in a residential area at half past nine on a sunday in a truck, especially one you've had a goddamn train horn attached to (which one did), blasting your horns constantly is a great way to get people to wish you get food poisoning
#I now have a headache. even though it was like half the day ago#I did indeed fall back to sleep and slept until nearly four because of that I'm so mad#wouldn't have happened otherwise! I think I might've woken up earlier than normal too#headache is not being helped by next door hammering something in for like twenty minutes
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could i request a mark smut 😣😣 where reader and mark just had an intense argument but in the end, they cant be mad at each other for long so they just fck it out of each other 🤐🤐🤐🤐
mad at you | l.mk
“then i try to leave, but baby i just can’t stay mad at you”
💿now playing: mad at you by why don’t we
❯ summary: Mark learns that you’ve made a ‘selfish’ decision that’s bound to put a strain on your relationship. Next thing you know, you're knee-deep in an argument that somehow ends with you sprawled out beneath him; because, let’s be honest, he’s never really been any good at staying mad at you.
❯ pairings: idol!mark x fem!reader
❯ genre: angst, smut, established relationship, make up sex
❯ words: 4.3k
❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, lots of arguing, swearing, reader is lowkey dramatic, makeup sex, unprotected sex (don't do this!), nipple play, dry humping, brief clit play, slight needy mark bc i can't help myself, creampie, reader uses she/her pronouns, reader and mark argue and resolve it by fucking.
an: i love writing angsty arguments (testament to my real relationships lol) so thank you so much for this request. it lowkey brought me out of writer’s block.
The honeymoon stage lasts approximately thirty months or two and a half years – which would make sense considering you and Mark were approaching your third year together and have argued more recently than you ever had.
But this time it’s different. You’ve never seen Mark like this, so angry that his face is bordering red and his jaw ticks so hard it might crack as the both of you drive in complete silence from your work dinner. He doesn’t even bother sneaking his usual glances at you when he pulls up at stoplights, the hand he likes to place on your thigh is gripping the wheel instead, and the only noise in the car is his rugged and frustrated exhales.
You could feign ignorance about why he's upset, but you know the reason all too well. And while a part of you acknowledges his right to be angry, another, more prideful part, resists the idea of apologising, especially when you think his reaction seems so disproportionate to your mistake.
So you sit in the passenger seat, arms crossed and body frozen, contributing to the cold silence settling between the two of you. You prepare yourself for the earful of a lecture you’re about to get when he pulls up outside your shared apartment.
He parks the car, slams the door shut, and strides towards your building without a backward glance. You scoff at his pettiness; he's never been so angry that he wouldn't at least wait for you to get out of the car with him. He doesn't even slow down when you trail behind. And when he nearly lets the elevator doors close without you, any chance he has of receiving an apology from you flies out the window, you think.
He does, however, show some decency by leaving the front door open for you as you both step out of the elevator and head towards your apartment – how chivalrous.
The chivalry doesn’t last long because the minute he hears you clasp the door shut, he’s glaring at you, arms crossed tightly over his chest, and you can't help but notice that he's rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt in frustration. If he weren't on the brink of yelling at you, you'd be tempted to make him do more than just roll up those sleeves — you'd want the fabric torn off and thrown on the floor in an instant.
“Paris, Y/N?!” Mark seethes, voice deep and uneven. “You signed a fucking contract to work in Paris?!?”
You pause, attempting to gather your thoughts, but the momentary silence doesn't offer much clarity. Eventually, you settle on, "It's just a six-month gig..." – a statement that seems to send him into a frenzy.
“Just six months?” He rubs his jaw repeatedly in disbelief, “That’s six months that we won’t get to see each other, did you even think about that huh?”
You scoff, “You’re one to talk, need I remind you that your job takes you away from me for months at a time.”
"That's not fair," he protests. "You knew exactly what you were getting into when you agreed to date me. I didn’t agree to not seeing my girlfriend for months because she’s gallivanting away in Paris without me."
Your eyes narrow and your nostrils flare, “So what? If you would have known, you wouldn’t have wanted to be my boyfriend?”
His eyes widen and he shakes his head. His hands fly to his hair and he tugs at the strands as he huffs out a breath.
“How the fuck did you get that conclusion from what I said?” He asks, voice sounding baffled. “The reason I’m so mad is because I like being your boyfriend, but I’m not going to see you for the next six months.”
“You’re being a hypocrite right now.”
He rolls his eyes and scoffs, “Right, because I’m always the one being unreasonable.”
“Yes, you are,” you scorn, “This job is my dream, don’t you see how selfish you're being?”
“I’m selfish?” He gasps, “That’s rich considering you didn’t even consult me when making this decision, I had to find out from your smug little co-worker in front of everyone. You were thinking solely about yourself, Y/N.”
You're on the verge of screaming. How is he not seeing things from your perspective? He's usually so understanding, so open to hearing your side. But the razor-sharp look in his eyes tells you that there's no getting through to him. He's convinced you're wrong, and nothing will change his mind.
“It’s for my job, Mark,” you cross your arms and shrug.
“And how many times have I told you that you don’t need to work? How many times do I need to tell you I can look after the both of us?”
“And how many times have I told you that I don’t want that? I don’t want to have to always rely on you!” You snap.
Your teeth grit as the words spit out of your mouth. They seem to hit Mark, deep, his eyes softening for a fleeting moment before sharpening again. He swallows thickly and blinks before running a hand through his hair.
“Then what are we doing, Y/N?” He asks deflated, “What are we if you don’t want to rely on me?”
You're not sure what compels you to say it – whether it's the way you're all worked up, the entire context of the argument, or some inner recognition that you're the one who's fucked up this time despite you both having stuff to apologise for. Still, you escalate the situation from zero to one hundred without a second thought.
“Oh, so you want to break up?”
He shakes his head and tongues the inside of his cheek, “When did I say that?!”
The fight only gets worse after that, the two of you blowing up after every sentence. You run around in circles, throwing accusations and insults at each other to the point the original premise of the argument is lost along the way of a thousand new arguments. It’s like every little thing you’ve both done to irk each other over the last month is brought up; and by the end of it, the two of you swear you’re done with each other.
Sure, you've had your fair share of arguments, but the biting finality of the word "done" as it leaves his lips sends a sharp pang through your stomach – it hurts like hell. You've reached your limit with this endless cycle of back-and-forth; you've had enough of him. Storming past him, you head towards your shared bedroom.
Mark sighs and reaches out for your arm, but you pull away. He doesn't like this, doesn't like the chilliness he feels from you. He doesn't want to end the argument like this; it's never gone this far without a resolution before.
“You can’t just storm away when we argue Y/N, it’s childish.”
“If you don’t like it then leave!” You slam the door shut after you and lock it.
Mark hates this more, not being able to talk this out because you’ve put a wall between the two of you. Then your words register in his mind and he’s the most hurt he’s ever felt. You want him to leave. Fuck that, he thinks. He’s not going to watch his relationship go down the drain over a petty argument.
He knocks on the door a few times, then jiggles the doorknob, calling out your name and pleading for you to let him in. But you remain unmoved, denying him even the satisfaction of hearing your voice telling him to go away. This only adds to his frustration. He's the one you've upset, and yet here he is, begging for you to open up so he can fix things.
After a few more tries he scoffs, your words echoing in his mind once more. Leave. It crosses his mind as he makes his way to the front door of the apartment. He swings it open, ready to clear his head and crash at Johnny's for the night. But just as he's about to step out, he catches sight of a picture of the two of you on the coffee table where he keeps his keys.
It’s from your honeymoon phase when it was easier for the two of you to say you’d never let anything come between you – when love seemed to blind you both. Mark picks up the photo, memories flooding back to the day it was taken. It was the day you met his parents and shared your aspirations of becoming a fashion designer. You reassured them that you had your own dreams and weren't just with their son for his wealth – though his parents wouldn't have minded either way; they would have been content with any girl that made their son happy. And you made Mark happy – you make Mark so fucking happy.
Which is why he can’t believe he’s even considering leaving you in this apartment on your own after a fight. He shuts the front door and makes his way to the couch. He's eager to resolve things with you now, but both of you are too caught up in emotions, spouting shit you'll likely regret in the morning. So he opts to grab a few sofa pillows and a blanket from the storage closet instead. He strips down from his dress shirt and pants, throwing them to the floor before lying back and resting his eyes with a heavy mind.
Regret doesn't hit you until 2:00 am the following morning, when you're met with the chill of an empty space beside you as you reach out to cuddle your boyfriend, only to find him absent. Sure you thought he was overreacting to the news, but you're also painfully aware that your own words were uncalled for. You shouldn’t have asked him to leave – you didn’t want him to.
As you heard the front door open and then close with a clink, a thick lump formed in your throat. The realisation that you had driven him away hit you hard, and you lost all motivation. You lay on your bed, makeup still intact, as you sniffled and sobbed quietly into your pillow. And even now, after tossing and turning from your mind running laps, you’d only managed to sleep for a few minutes.
You stretch your stiff legs and reluctantly leave your bed, unlocking your bedroom door with sleepy eyes. You're taken aback when you see Mark sleeping soundly on the sofa, his breath steady with his eyes closed. You thought he had left, but there he is, covered only by the blanket from the storage closet. It breaks your heart to see him like this; he's likely cold, and he'll probably have a stiff neck in the morning for practice. And you know it's all your fault.
The guilt eats away at you, and without hesitation, you rush to the bedroom to grab his pillows and an extra blanket. Realistically, you should wake him up and insist he sleeps in bed, but the fear of his lingering anger keeps you from doing so. Instead, you kneel in front of him, attempting to swap the sofa pillows for his own bed pillows.
However, your efforts prove futile because Mark is a light sleeper – a detail you foolishly overlooked in your worried state of mind. He blinks as he wakes up once, then twice, appearing confused to find you in front of him in the living room instead of beside him in bed.
“Baby?” He whispers, his eyes hazy as he tries to make sense of what you're doing. It doesn’t take him long once he spots the sofa cushion in your hand to put the pieces together.
You bite your lip and sigh, “I know you're mad at me, but I didn’t want you to wake up stiff in the morning.”
Mark's chest constricts. How could he possibly stay mad at you when you're so cute, fussing over him like this? He notices the smudge of black makeup beneath your eye, and his heart tightens once more – this time with sadness rather than affection.
His hand reaches out to touch your cheek, and you’re shocked at the touch. “You’ve been crying?” He asks and you bow your head.
"I thought you left..."
Mark wants to laugh at the irony. You asked him to leave, and yet here you are, upset at the idea of his departure. He swears if he weren't so in love with you, he'd rant about how much you mess with his head, pushing him to the edge only to pull him back again.
“Would never leave you, baby, you know that,” his voice is soft and comforting as the rough edge of his fingertips finds your jaw.
You can't control it; tears fall freely from your eyes. He's being incredibly considerate and gentle with you, even after you acted like a bitch. Honestly, you almost wish he'd just yell at you instead. But he doesn’t, his eyes widen and he immediately sits up straight letting the blanket fall to the floor as he pulls you up to sit on his lap.
He shushes you, his hands finding your waist where he rubs soothing soft circles into the fabric of your tank top, “Hey, why are you crying? I’m here…please don’t get upset, Y/N.”
His kindness only amplifies your guilt.
"I'm so sorry," you stifle in short sobs, your voice almost cracking. "I should've talked to you about the job offer before signing the contract... I-I didn't mean to act so selfishly. I just... I wasn't thinking."
Mark gives you a half-smile as he runs a hand through your hair. "It's okay, baby... You got caught up in your dream. I'm sorry for not realising that. I'm the one being selfish by always expecting you to put me first."
"No—"
He interrupts you to continue his apology. "You were right, you know. I always expect you to wait for me while I'm on tour. I never considered it from the other side, with me waiting for you... But I will. I'll wait because I know how much this job means to you."
Your face buries itself in the crook of his neck as you cry even harder, and he tuts gently while rubbing your back.
"Please don’t cry, Y/N," he murmurs softly. "I hate seeing you upset."
"Can’t help it," you muffle. "I hate that I upset you…"
Mark pulls you away from his neck, needing to look into your eyes as he speaks. "It's normal for couples to argue, baby. We just need to promise to communicate better, okay?"
His fingers stroke your cheeks again, and you lean into his touch. The warmth of his hand feels so comforting as if he was made to soothe your skin, the only person capable of bringing you relief. You bite your lip and nod against his palm, because you're more than willing to work on your communication if it means never feeling like this again.
"Now, give me a smile. You know, the pretty one I like," he says with a laugh. "If I'm not going to see you for the next six months, I don’t want one of our last moments together to be so... sad."
You smile at him and press your forehead against his with a whisper. "Me neither.”
You’re so close to each other that you’re practically sharing the same breath, if you had said that two hours ago you wouldn’t have believed yourself. But here you are, lips so close that your heavy breathing practically begs him to kiss you.
Mark feels it too, so when he does, it's like the softness of his lips is a bandage, mending the angry tension between the two of you. It patches up the last few hours that have transpired, and when he pulls away, it feels as if nothing even happened.
His hands grip your hips firmly, his fingers pressing down as he guides your body to grind against his clothed crotch. His lips find yours again, accompanied by a groan that escapes into your mouth. It's only when you feel him harden beneath you that you remember he was half-naked on the sofa – clearly after you locked him out of the bedroom.
Suddenly feeling suffocated by your own clothes, you pull away from him to strip off your tank top, tossing it over your head before discarding it somewhere in the living room. You yearn to meet his lips again – the only place you truly feel safe – but Mark wants to savour the way you look. Your clothed cunt eagerly grinding against his hard-on, hips chasing a high so eagerly that your bra strap has slid loosely down your arm.
You're a vision, Mark thinks, one that has him salivating and desperate to fuck you. He almost curses at himself for nearly ruining it all, for nearly walking out on the most beautiful person on the planet, the best sex he's ever had – and not only that but also the funniest, sweetest person he knows he'll ever meet.
He leans into your neck, his nose nuzzling into you as he whispers softly, "I'm sorry... so sorry, Y/N." His hand leaves your hips to cup your breast over your bra, massaging the mound with just enough pressure to elicit soft moans from your lips.
“‘s okay,” you whimper.
Your head falls back as his hand snakes around to unclasp it. He wastes no time brushing his intrusive fingers down your chest, wearing a filthy smirk because he knows just how sensitive you are there. The tip of his finger circles around your nipple until he’s right in the centre, feeling it harden under his touch. He pinches it, and you jolt forward on his cock, making his boxers tighten, and he groans.
He loves how responsive you were to him, watching you writhe over him as he touched you in torturous pleasure. Just the way you arch your back into his touch has pre-cum leaking out of his cock.
He leans in this time, sucking on your nipple and opening wide to get as much of the tender tissue of your breast in his mouth as possible. He holds your waist in place to keep you grinding on him to entice enough friction for him to feel good too.
And when he looks down to see where the two of you meet, he moans when he sees the wet patch leaking through your shorts onto his boxers.
“Fuck, so wet for me, baby. Just for me.”
You whimper, and his hand slips into the hem of your shorts. You’re glad you never wear panties to bed because his fingers find your clit immediately, relieving you of some of the neediness you’ve been feeling from grinding down on him. He rubs small circles as his mouth licks and sucks and nips at your bud.
“Mark…”
“Shhh baby,” he coos, “wanna make it up to you. Please let me make it up to you, let me make you feel good.”
You whimper with a nod of your head, humping into his hand, legs opening wider to give him easier access to the place you’re most sensitive. You let out mild pants, hips bucking more aggressively from the stimulation on both your nipple and clit.
And when Mark notices you getting close, he pulls off your tit to look up at your face. It’s his favourite part — watching your features contort when the bliss is at its highest. It makes his chest swell with pride knowing he’s the one making you cum, knowing his touch is enough to make you shake and moan. And if he wasn’t such a selfish lover, he’d think the sight is something everyone should see at least once.
As you come down from your orgasm, your eyes flutter open to meet him. Mark doesn’t know whether it’s from seeing your orgasm paired with the argument from earlier but he’s the hardest he’s ever been.
You notice it too, looking down and giggling. “Now it’s my turn to make it up to you.”
He lets out a soft huff, and a muscle in his jaw twitches with his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat before he nods. You free his cock from his boxers and shimmy yourself out of your shorts. You let out identical gasps when your bare cunt brushes against the tip of his cock.
Slowly, you sink onto him, fully feeling him inside of you. Your head falls forward, your forehead resting against his shoulder as you take in the size of him, the way he fills you just right — the way he always does.
The stretch as you take him in never gets old, eliciting the same whimpers and whines. You can feel his hands resting on your hips, then slipping to the bend of your waist, silently urging you to move as he presses you downwards.
You lift your hips, slow and steady as you let the sensations wash over you, drawing a low groan from deep in his chest. His grip on your body tightens as you sink back down, blunt nails digging into your skin. The sounds he makes only drive you further into finding a teasing rhythm because his voice is just so pretty. The sounds are soon muffled to your disappointment when his mouth presses into your skin, so his tongue can slide along the top of your breast — making the disappointment fade away real quick.
You let out a breathy cry, hands rising from where they’ve been resting, flattening against his chest, to wrap around his shoulders. The slow pace you’d adopted was becoming not enough. And you could tell from the way Mark is rutting his hips up to meet you, he shares the same sentiment.
Your mouths collide as you pick up the pace, using his shoulders to leverage yourself as you bounce up and down on his cock. When he breaks from the kiss, an unrestrained groan slips past his lips, low and rough, followed by another, and you have to bite back a whimper of your own.
Mark can’t help the noises, he just loves the way you swivel your hips in a way that makes him see stars. He loves watching you work yourself on him for pleasure – he loves when you ride him.
And right when you squeeze around him, he rewards you with a loud, obscene groan, a sound that makes you dizzy and limp. Everything about Mark is intoxicating and downright addicting, and you were in no hurry to kick that addiction. In fact, you craved more of it – needed more.
You grab his hands and guide them across your body. He squeezes them at your hips, smoothing across your thighs, your stomach. His hands were everywhere, eyes dark and desperate, wordlessly begging for you to give him what he needed, the same thing he’d been kind enough to already give you.
So you rock yourself forward, providing a new type of friction that makes you whine helplessly into his skin. Blunt nails mark into the plush of your thighs, a futile attempt at grounding himself. The upward thrust of his hips and the strained catch of his breath tells you that he's growing impatient. You know the pace was slow, but damn it, it felt so fucking good to feel him like this, every inch of him sliding into you, hitting all the spots that makes your brain stop working. It also felt like a sick little way to get revenge...
“Faster,” you hear him say. “Please baby, need it faster.”
You could feel his hips bucking up to meet you. Then his thumb finds your clit, working in circles and making you squeeze around him with a shrill, gasping cry. It was his attempt at bargaining with you, doing anything to make you speed up and shamelessly fuck yourself on his cock. Maybe if he pleases you, you’ll let him cum.
“Please fuck me properly baby, need it,” he rasps, “You want me to forgive you right?”
And then you remember what led you here in the first place. You’d upset him and now you’re teasing him – you suppose it’s only fair if you pick up the pace a little more, fuck him messily and desperately enough to have him dizzying towards his climax.
And once you do, his thrusts grow sloppier, and your thighs start aching. It feels too fucking good so all that you can do is cling to him and let him take the lead, strong hands guiding you as he sucks against your neck. And even though you’re supposed to be the one making him cum, you find yourself buried in the crook of his neck, gasping as your walls clench and nails dig into the skin of his strong back.
The slight stinging sensation is enough to work Mark over the edge, and you feel him twitch inside of you, sending shock waves up your spine as he fucks his cum inside of you with a final powerful thrust. You roll your hips to help him along, taking all you can get from him and he moans his appreciation as you do.
You remain tangled up in one another as you come down from your respective highs with foreheads pressed close. You wrestle to find his hand, lacing your fingers with his as he rubs his thumb over your knuckles. He kisses your nose, then your lips, with a tenderness that makes your heart feel like it’s being squeezed.
You don’t want to move just yet, so you release your hands and wrap them around his neck, nuzzling your nose against his before you speak.
"Mark?" You mumble, your voice tired and hazy. He hums in response.
"I’m sorry," you say softly.
You feel his smile against your mouth before he kisses your lips. "It’s okay, baby. I don’t even remember what we were fighting for."
#🏷frompaige#mark lee smut#nct dream smut#nct 127 smut#nct smut#mark lee x reader#nct dream x reader#nct 127 x reader#nct x reader#kpop smut#nct hard hours#nct oneshot
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voice notes your boyfriend matt leaves you | ( fem!reader ) fluff + soft hours. established relationship drabble wc 348 (library) + (request)
one. moms been asking about you a lot recently. i mean—seriously, every conversation we have she's always asking "how's your girlfriend doing? did she blah blah blah." and it's like, woah, ask me about my day first, yknow?
two. i think i've gotten too used to you sleeping in the same bed as me...it's weird without you here...empty. i hope you're getting better sleep than me.
three. don't be mad but...i—i took your teddy bear. i promise im gonna give it back when i leave boston, i swear! i just really miss you and i knew the perfume on my luggage wouldn't last....please, don't be mad.
four. i know i said i'd wait for you to send your order but i was in the drive-thru already and people were behind me. i—..i got nervous and drove off. (long silence) so— pizza tonight?
five. i'm glad you had a fun day shopping with the girls...do you think we could facetime when you get home? i wanna see everything you got.
six. (nicks voice) don't come in matt's room for like a good hour, he just blew ass and it smells so fu- (gagging noises) (matt in the background: it's not that bad, nick!)
seven. was playing dress to impress on stream earlier and couldn't stop thinking about you...if you're up to it we should play duos. but only if you're up for it, i know it's late.
eight. i'm never listening to your playlist on shuffle again, i was folding laundry listening to clairo and the next song queued up was some fucking death metal band. nearly gave me a heart-attack..
nine. hey, baby..you okay? i'm not trying to be like, clingy or whatever but we haven't talked all day and..i don't know it's just a little out of the ordinary. i'm sure you're fine but just—just let me know if you're okay, okay?
ten. don't you wanna grab your cool, hot, and sexy boyfriend a drink from downstairs? (whispers) please, say yes, please, say yes, please, say yes.
' 𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ' 🥡: @emely9274 @ginswife @madifilipowiczslvt @chrispleasure @chrisstvrns @conspiracy-ash @sturnina @lovetaylorrussellgrr @nervoussagittarius
#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#the sturniolo triplets#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo headcanon#matthew sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt stuniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo imagine#matthew sturniolo imagine#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo
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