#I would have done everyone's book references instead
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I posted 819 times in 2022
That's 243 more posts than 2021!
102 posts created (12%)
717 posts reblogged (88%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@thebreakfastgenie
@monstrousgourmandizingcats
@chocolatepot
@marley-manson
@lotesseflower
I tagged 673 of my posts in 2022
Only 18% of my posts had no tags
#tv: mash - 116 posts
#inthetags - 53 posts
#fanart - 41 posts
#this is my scenery tag - 39 posts
#tv: bomb girls - 28 posts
#kate andrews - 28 posts
#hornblower - 21 posts
#the locked tomb - 18 posts
#bleak house - 17 posts
#charles emerson winchester iii - 17 posts
Longest Tag: 137 characters
#me getting an omelet at the diner near my house because it comes with toast and potatoes and i eat half for dinner and half for breakfast
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I found it! I found the outtake of Wayne Rogers and the horse.
https://www.mash4077tv.com/2021/06/video-rarities-wayne-rogers-falls-off-horse/
54 notes - Posted July 29, 2022
#4
It's not that Charles never touches people
He pats Hawkeye on the knee when he's being condescending in Fallen Idol, he briefly touches Hawkeye's arm when he says “Why are you so unfeeling about my feelings?” in The Light That Failed, he attempts to help Margaret off the jeep in Comrades in Arms but BJ gets there first
In Dear Sis when he opens the toboggan cap he pats Radar's cheek, pats Mulcahy on the back then puts his hands on Mulcahy's shoulders
Kisses Margaret's hair while pretending to comfort her over a prank he's pretending he didn't take part in (An Eye for a Tooth), puts his hand on Colonel Baldwin's shoulder before he says “I have groveled” nevermind I watched the scene again and he’s touching the wall
A quick touch to Klinger's arm in Potter's office in the beginning of They Call the Wind Korea, yet in the next episode (Major Ego) Klinger pats his shoulder and Charles says “Never touch me again” (really, Klinger ought to have smacked him)
He likes to nudge people forward – the reporter in Major Ego, Hawkeye in Bombshells, BJ in Bless You, Hawkeye, Kellye in Too Many Cooks although that last one might be merely a gesture and not a touch, he also dances with Kellye in That's Show Biz
In The Party he touches Klinger's back during one of the attempts to set a date and he pats Radar at the end, he also pats Radar in Rally Round the Flagg, Boys. In Ain't Love Grand he only touches Sooni a little but he puts his hands on Klinger's shoulders. He touches Lt. Park (Guerrilla My Dreams) on the shoulder and the Congressional Aide in Are You Now, Margaret
He gives Hawkeye a little nudge in Yessir, That's Our Baby and he grabs his wrist when they're arguing in Follies of the Living. Despite the emotional intimacy of Sons and Bowlers the only touching in that episode is Hawkeye giving him that shoulder nudge during the bowling game, which he also does in The Young and the Restless. (The blocking in Sons and Bowlers is a topic for another post, I think). Then we have the hug in Temporary Duty, drunk!Charles taking him by the hand in Peace on Us, and falling on him in Settling Debts and Follies.
In the finale he kisses Margaret's hand and obviously we see him kiss Martine and Donna. And Donna says something interesting. “The whole thing was your idea from the beginning. You kept walking around saying 'I can't keep my hands off this angel. Somebody marry us before it's too late.' Mako Nakamura married us just to shut you up.” The implication is that if he were sober he wouldn't have any trouble keeping his hands off her, since he isn't he's not only having trouble, he's recognizing it's wrong and annoying the whole party with it.
I think it's safe to say people touch him more than the other way around – see Margaret's lip peck in Say No More, this bit with Hawk in Foreign Affairs, etc.
68 notes - Posted August 11, 2022
#3
Hawkeye’s book references
If by Rudyard Kipling “If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs, you probably haven't checked with your answering service.” - Welcome to Korea
Gunga Din by Kipling “In India's sunny clime, where I used to spend my time...” - Dear Dad Three “You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din.” - CAVE
Home Thoughts from Abroad by Robert Browning “Oh, to be in England now that war is here.” - Bug Out “Oh, to be in the latrine, now that spring is here.” - Fade Out, Fade In
Chicago by Carl Sandburg “Hog butcher for the world, tool maker, stacker of wheat.” - Adam's Ribs
The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus “Give me your tired, your poor, your coleslaw.” - Adam's Ribs
When I Consider How My Light is Spent aka On His Blindness by John Milton “They also serve who stand and stuff.” - Officer of the Day “They also serve who stay home and bake cakes.” - Dear Peggy
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge “Laughter, laughter everywhere and not a joke to-” - No Laughing Matter
The Charge of the Light Brigade by Alfred, Lord Tennyson “Ours not to question why.” - Carry On, Hawkeye “Ours not to reason why, ours not to make them die.” - Welcome to Korea “What about 'Into the valley of Death' or 'Remember the Alamo' or the ever-popular 'Damn the torpedoes'?” - Preventative Medicine
Trees by Joyce Kilmer “Where would we be without Joyce Kilmer?” - Abyssinia, Henry “But that was the year Joyce Kilmer wrote Trees.” - Mail Call Again
Casey at the Bat by Ernest Thayer “There is no joy in Bloodville.” - The Grim Reaper
Man's Inhumanity to Man by Robert Burns “Man's inhumanity to man again.” - I Hate a Mystery
How do I love thee? (Sonnets from the Portuguese 43) by Elizabeth Barrett Browning “Let me count the ways.” - Yankee Doodle Doctor “How do I love me? Let me count the ways.” - Morale Victory
Shakespeare “Some men are born to greatness; others have it thrust upon them. And some of us got it both ways.” - Chief Surgeon Who “Methinks he doth protest too much.” - I Hate a Mystery “Good night, sweet prince.” - Kim “My friends, some men are born great. Others achieve greatness. And some are destined to work with rats.” - Soldier of the Month “Friends, Romans, and corpsmen, lend me your ears. 'Tis nobler in the mind to suffer slings and arrows in order to make an outrageous fortune. I come to bury Sluggo, not to praise him.” - Dr. Winchester and Mr. Hyde “My kingdom for an intelligent octopus.” - Carry On, Hawkeye “Good night, sweet prince.” - A Full Rich Day “Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by these sons of York.” - Hawkeye “Lead on, MacDuff.” - Out of Sight, Out of Mind “It is the east, and Klinger is the nut.” - Souvenirs “Romeo Montague?” - Comrades in Arms “Only Shakespeare, crumpets, Vivien Leigh.” - Tea and Empathy “Lend me your ears.” - Inga saying he played Hamlet in college then saying he lied in The Billford Syndrome “Hamlet was a pile of giggles compared to you.” - Ain't Love Grand “Good night, sweet prince.” - Life Time “Some men are born to garbage, and others have garbage thrust upon them.” - The Life You Save
A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams “I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.” - Dear Dad Again (admittedly this is more of a movie reference, but it was a play first)
“Me? Noel the Coward?” - Captain Outrageous
“Oh, yes, of course-- the Marquis de Sade school of bedside manner.” - Tea and Empathy
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott Frank: “They invented gunpowder, spaghetti, pigtails.” Hawkeye: “Little feet for women. By Louisa May Alcott.” - Rainbow Bridge
Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm by Kate Douglas Wiggin “Just pretend you're in the high school play. You're Rebecca of Sunnybook Farm passing out morphine.” - Major Topper Props to writer Allyn Freeman for this since the novel is set in Maine. OTOH Wiggin was very popular in her day and Shirley Temple starred in a movie so in the '50s the reference still would make sense even if Hawkeye wasn't from Maine.
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain “We already whitewashed the fence, Aunt Polly.” - George “Tom Sawyer and Becky are still lost down there.” - None Like It Hot
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde “You look like an 8 by 10 picture of Dorian Gray.” - The Smell of Music
Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle “Got that belly wound finished yet, Moriarty?” - What's Up, Doc “SOP, my dear Watson.” - It Happened One Night “Okay, Sherlock.” - The Light that Failed
Lady Chatterly's Lover by D. H. Lawrence “What is it? Lady Chatterly Visits Boys' Town?” - The Young and the Restless
Jeeves and Wooster by P. G. Wodehouse “Thank you, Jeeves.” - The Party
Fanny Hill by John Cleland “I had a copy of Fanny Hill” - Some 38ths Parallels
Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes “I thought tilting at windmills wasn't your game, Sancho?” - Back Pay
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson “A date with Dr. Jekyll.” - Hanky Panky “Oh, so that's what's been getting under Dr. Jekyll's hide.” - Point of View
Rip Van Winkle by Washington Irving “That's an associate of ours, Dr. Van Winkle...He's got another 19 years to go.” - The Price
La Dame aux Camelias by Alexandre Dumas fils “Courage, Camille. I think I've got something for you.” - The Moon is Not Blue (again, probably referencing the Greta Garbo movie)
Moby Dick by Herman Melville “I love you in War and Peace, Moby Dick, all the classics.” - Radar's Report “Herman Melville wrote Moby Dick, and he never wrote him back.” - Hanky Panky “Words to live by from the biggest fish of all, Moby Dud.” - Nurse Doctor
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107 notes - Posted April 29, 2022
#2
Commentary by Guy Boyd [who played Sergeant Lally in Settling Debts]: “When I asked Alan Alda (as Hawkeye) what happened to my lieutenant, he was supposed to answer ‘chord shock’ (meaning a spinal injury) but, he turned to me and said ‘shord c*ck.’ It took us 17 takes without someone going into total hysterics. It was a great day.”
248 notes - Posted February 16, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
“Hawkeye would have become a right wing conservative. BJ would be on this third marriage. Trapper John and his wife would be celebrating their 40th. Houlihan would be living with a woman partner. Radar would be a taxidermist. Klinger would be a Congressman. Potter would be deceased. So would I.”
-Larry Gelbart, on where M*A*S*H people would be, now. From TV’s M*A*S*H: The Ultimate Guide Book.
275 notes - Posted February 9, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#ah the joys of being in a medium-sized fandom#I don't actually think hawkeye is super into literature since most of it is stuff assigned in school or movies#originally it was meant to be a photoset but I was rewatching and the list kept growing and if I had known I would end up with a list#I would have done everyone's book references instead#I think gelbart was being tongue in cheek but I don't dislike the trapper and klinger ones#long post
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Never Let You Go (Aaron Hotchner x F!Reader)
Description: Being married to Aaron (A.K.A. your boss and the love of your life) has both it advantages and disadvantages - and being reprimanded by him for risking your neck in the field is definitely one of the latter... 💔
A/N: Hi everyone. I'm alive! Sorry that this is so short but it sort of just wrote itself and was a nice way to help try and ease me back into writing again as it's been a hot minute here 😅
Warnings: Angsty Hotch, arguing, mentions of threat, mentions of weapons, implied murder, references to abduction, sexual references, implied cases / unsubs. (Let me know if I missed any)
Masterlist
You knew when Aaron was angry. You knew the signs very well this far into your relationship, not only as a fellow member of the BAU but also as his wife. He didn’t even need to voice it for you to notice it, rolling off of him in waves… and unfortunately for you, you knew exactly what had caused it.
You hadn’t meant to throw yourself into the proverbial frying pan, but when the Unsub you had been tracking had grabbed an innocent girl as a hostage you had simply acted without thinking. You had offered yourself instead, knowing your value meant he would not dispose of you as quickly as the others he had taken - and that your team would have to let him leave the parking lot you had chased him to. He knew it too, which was why he had quickly accepted, resulting in you being hauled into a van with a gun pressed against your head.
Of course, the team had done exactly what you’d expected and located you within an hour. They had mounted a rescue and you had been safely back, unharmed, within mere minutes of the team arriving outside of the cabin.
All in all, it was a win in your book… but not in your husband / boss’s.
He had been the first through the door, intent on getting to you whilst Morgan tackled the Unsub into handcuffs. He had quickly cut you free, checked you weren’t seriously hurt, and escorted you back outside, tucked securely under his arm. However, the second you had made it back to the cars, Aaron had pulled away and hidden behind a mask of white hot fury.
His silent temper had only got worse since you’d all got off the plane, with a thick and suffocating silence filling the car on the drive back. Everyone looked at one another anxiously, knowing better than to risk being the one to say anything and accidentally cause him to erupt in their direction. In fact, a minor miracle had occurred with Spencer not saying a single word until the whole team had spilled out of the elevator, even if it looked like it had caused him physical pain to do so.
Hell, even Penelope had taken one look at everyone’s faces and done an immediate u-turn back to her lair, muttering she would ‘come back later’.
Unfortunately, you didn’t really have that option when Aaron was your husband and you both shared a car and a house… which was why you had watched as the others grabbed their belongings and finished debriefing, leaving their case files on Hotch’s desk for him to review on Monday. You’d followed along, the last to enter his office and leave your own on the top of the pile.
However, your fingers had barely let go of the manilla envelope when you heard Hotch clear his throat, turning his attention squarely to the last two agents stood next to you.
“Good work, everyone. Morgan, Prentiss, you can go. Have a good weekend - Y/N, stay where you are. We need to talk.”
Shit.
Your husband’s tone was calm but icy, telling you that this wasn’t up for debate; it was an order and god help anyone who went against him. It was why Emily and Derek made for the door without another word, although Emily shot you a final look over her shoulder, as if checking you were alright.
You nodded subtly, trying to reassure her as she and Derek made their way out the door, closing it behind them. You knew without asking that the rest of the team would be watching from down in the bullpen, trying and failing to work out what was being said as Hotch ripped you a new one.
Taking a deep breath, you crossed your arms over your chest and turned to face him.
You hated seeing his beautiful face so hard and devoid of feeling. It was like a whole different man to the one who slept beside you every night, and greeted you first thing every morning.
You gulped.
A cold sweat had formed on the back of your neck as he stepped closer slowly, deliberately dragging out the tension. You had to fight the urge to break off the staring contest between you, refusing to surrender to him just yet. It was probably why you opened your mouth first, desperate to beat him to the punch in case you lost your nerve.
“Before you say anything, I know what you’re going to say, and I know what I did was dangerous and went against your orders,” you rambled, “I’m also well aware of the consequences and I won’t apologise for what I did, not when the option was risking that young girl and the rest of the team-“
“I am your superior here, Y/N. What I say goes. That is not up for debate, ever. You do not give me orders,” Aaron seethed, making you fall silent without even raising his voice - which somehow made it worse. It was as if your guilt was swallowing you whole. “What happened today will not happen again, am I understood? You do not ignore my orders whenever you feel like it, nor do you get to lecture me about why you did what you did. And above all? You never tell me to let you go, unarmed and alone, ever again. Is that clear?”
Your eyes were glued to the floor, wishing silently for it to swallow you up.
“You know I was doing what anyone else on this team would’ve done. He had an innocent girl, Aaron, and he was cornered,” you countered. “He would have killed her the second he left the parking lot, or opened fire then and there. It was the only way to get him out of there, without risking the team and everyone in that area-“
“As the head of this team, I did what I would’ve done if anyone else had been in that position - which is tell you not to risk yourself - but as your husband,” he choked, “I cannot even begin to describe what I felt when he had that gun pointed at your head and that van door closed.”
You gulped. You felt his pain drawing you in like a gravitational pull, making you desperate to reach out and soothe it from his brow.
“Aaron… You know I didn’t do this to hurt you,” you cooed. To your relief, he nodded, wrapping an arm around your waist and curling you into his chest as if needing to feel you were actually stood there in front of him.
“It might surprise you to realise that I do know that. Unfortunately, it doesn’t make any of this easier.” You could feel the tension physically radiating off of him as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I… I thought I’d lost you. I... I can't lose you... I won't lose you or someone I love. Not again.”
“I know. I’m so sorry… I’m right here, my love. I’m right here… Always.”
#ithebookhoarder#masterlist#thesilentmage#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner#spencer reid x you#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#penelope garcia x reader#derek morgan x reader#derek morgan#emily prentiss#emily prentiss x reader#jennifer jareau x reader#david rossi#david rossi x reader
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Lucifer Having A Crush On You/How Would He React?
I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'M NOT--
It's time for my fictional love and life and all I hold dear in my daydreams. Bitches, bros, nonbinary hoes, and genderfluid fucks, I present to you the Big Dick in Charge
I may reference works that I've read and when I do I'll drop their @ and link to their story it is law that you read it if you read mine, I don't make the rules
CW: none, slightly angsty but nothing too intense!
Alright, doves, this is post-season one. Lucifer now resides in the hotel with everyone and is slowly adjusting to being graced with Alejandro's Alastor's presence every day.
Let's be honest, our baby pays attention but puts in minimal effort. Saying that the days went by in a blur would be an understatement. Even conversations would be forgotten after a few short moments. On to the next task. Full focus on this thing. Once that's done? Well onto the next task! No tasks? Free time to spend with Charlie!
Things would start slow, and to really interact, you'd most likely start to approach him first. Maybe you've spent long enough watching the blond anxiously bounce around the hotel and graciously give himself a bit too much for even the Big Boss of Hell.
A timid approach from you, offering to help with whatever he's currently doing. Maybe you make snacks for everyone in the hotel and hand him his personally :)
And so it begins! A greeting here, a greeting there, slightly awkward conversations that slowly start to feel less forced with the little information you learn about each other along the way.
It's...nice! Refreshing! Lucifer would be more excited than anything and talking to you would become a part of his regular routine without much thought on the matter. You'd occasionally be on his mind just a little more, and he'd start to seek you out himself too.
I know you're already seeking him out. Bitch I'M seeking him out.
Helping with chores around the hotel quickly turns into simply enjoying the other's company.
One day you gift him his very own ceramic duck! You could have paid for it from somewhere or made it yourself.
Either way, he'd fucking LOVE it! Honestly, if you decide to try your hand at making it, he'd love it even more with all the rough edges and little bumps (it was made out of love for my babies who never touched clay in their lives)
In response, please expect many gifts in return. I like to think it's been a while since he's gotten a genuine gift like this
(Bonus headcanon: Charlie will see this and will come to you the next day with a list of things she wants to gift him and you two are unofficially officially the Buy Lucifer Anything Duck-Themed duo)
Lucifer loves how you react when he gifts you your very own rubber duck. Your smile and happiness always seemed contagious to him. It only led to him making/getting you more things.
You will have a rubber duck collection by the end of this, but what can you really say? Each one of them is based on something you mentioned before. A movie character, a book character, a cartoon character, even friends or family members if they were mentioned. The gesture is way too sweet for you to turn down, even if it is the 30th duck you've received.
Now prepare for what I like to call the "get along t-shirt" phase but both parties are willing LMAO.
Lucifer will be by your side as long as you'll accept the company and if you're reading this and we brain the same, that will be all the time.
I love the GenZ!Reader memes and fics. Someone show this man bacon pancakes and if it was already done, SHOW ME.
Between his relationship with Charlie and with you, Lucifer actually feels the need and wants to be a little more present bit by bit. He notices that he is spending less time in his head, but he continues on in fear of fucking it up if he thinks too hard about it.
So instead he'll 100% focus on the little familiarity of happiness, as small as those moments may be sometimes. This is EXACTLY why the thought of him potentially feeling romantic interest again goes right over his head.
Who notices first, you ask? Charlie, of course. You slowly but surely became one of his main topics in conversation, it wasn't hard for her to pick up on it and ask.
Baby boy would straight up deny it at first. Him?? Liking someone else??? LMAO, am I right? Of course, after he does this, he'll have the time to actually pay attention to his actions.
So then he'll notice how excited he is every morning knowing that you'll be the first face he sees. He'll notice how he managed to fit you into any task he had to do. When he'd get lunch for himself and Charlie he'd have the automatic thought of making something for you as well. Even when the day was over, he'd be thinking about spending the next day with you. To be frank, you were constantly on his mind.
Once he notices it's a big mental "fuck". Nothing about you is wrong of course, it's him, or so he thinks.
Let's start with the elephant in the room, or shall I say the ring on his finger lmao
In Lucifer's mind, he's still married technically. Even thinking about it in a technical term was a new development and it made him feel absolutely horrible. Lilith left, sure, but who knows what happened? Regardless of how he felt, he didn't want to hurt her.
But at the same time what about him? Lucifer hasn't been happy in a long time and he's finally building that again, not just with Charlie, but with you as well. He didn't want to just cut you out, he didn't want to hurt you either.
Plus, did you even like him? How would he even approach you? If he wanted to, even after thinking about everything.
Who was he kidding, of course, he still wanted you!
@liveontelevision *drops to my knees and bows* they worded it extremely well here and if you're reading this but you haven't read this already or you clicked the link then clicked back here, go back and read it. I don't care how long it is. Do the thing then come back.
Welcome back. It was good, wasn't it? I know.
The only awkward period for you two is the week-long contemplation of everything (half him attempting not to do what he always does when stressed but by the time he realizes he already made like 30 ducks--)
He would clearly go out of his way to either try and talk to you or avoid you. Or a cute mixture of both where he makes a scene approaching you, realizes he's not ready yet, then makes a scene so he can disappear *finger guns*
A little crisis here, a few little rubber ducks there, and a looooonnnggg conversation with Charlie and Maggie Vaggie.
Those are the ingredients to a semi-stable Lucifer with enough bravado to talk to you normally again.
He'd apologize for the times he basically pulled a Houdini in your face and he'd explain himself fully, all while also confessing his love for you.
It's choppy, it's fast-paced in some areas, and the poor blond was ready to disappear at any given moment, but that's what made it so real for you.
The weight that's lifted off of him couldn't be described, and neither could the joy that welled in him the moment he saw your beautiful smile and heard nothing but your acceptance and love.
What an emotional roller-coaster, am I right?
Lucifer Taglist: @alastorssimp @saints-wrapped-in-plastic @heart-of-the-morningstar
Requests are open! If you'd like to be tagged in future Lucifer or Hazbin Hotel content, please let me know! My asks and DMs are open to all!
#hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer x reader#lucifer x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin lucifer x reader#hazbin hotel lucifer morningstar x reader
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yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶
i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)
have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ���💖
i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...
i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned
mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭
i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔
i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends
i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about
people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled
in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol
the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭
its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭
mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)
i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.
its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!
she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!
she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"
she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)
she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.
he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.
THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.
she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7
but again, those are the consequences of HER actions
her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭
their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"
its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!
you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)
everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.
obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.
the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"
she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!
just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.
im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!
im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.
i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!
i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process
talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol
i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭
its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.
all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.
i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.
also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!
thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!
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Things that immediately turn me off a fiction book
I'm pretty picky with what I read, because the time I spend reading is time that I could spend writing. I generally know if I will like a book within the first chapter, and I feel no shame in giving up if I'm not vibing with it.
And no, I don't believe in the "oooh read further it warms up" because does it? Does it really? Do I want to waste time finding out?
Frankly, at this point in life, I read more nonfiction than fiction because there's just so. many. bad. books. that are getting published. Worse than fanfictions.
Anyway, here are the things that make me give up. Maybe hearing this will help you as you write your own masterpiece.
Too Many Proper Nouns
Three characters maximum in the first chapter or two. Do not throw dozens of people at me. I will get confused and give up. Let me get to know the main character, by themself or with a few of their closest companions, before you make me remember everyone else. And go deep with those characters! I want someone to stick with!
You can reference other characters, to create a sense of a deeper world, but do not go all-in on them. Make it clear that they are just there to provide a bit of context, and we don't have to remember them yet. We should only be meeting three characters maximum.
Throwing Us Immediately Into a Dramatic Action Point
This is controversial I know, but I hate when something immediately starts with a battle. I don't care if any of these people live or die. I don't know them. I haven't grown attached to any of them.
Even just a page or two to get to know them first will help. You can have them gearing up for a battle, thinking about what's going to happen, maybe talking to their friends, maybe checking their armor, whatever feels natural for them. But do not just start with stabbing people! I don't care about them yet!
Too Many Details
Many this is just me, but I simply do not care about every piece of armor your character is wearing. I don't need to hear a play-by-play of every single color of every single thing because I don't care. Pick out a few specific things for me to focus on and that's it. Stop overloading me with colors and patterns and armor styles.
Yes, yes, you've done your research on historically accurate gear. That's great. It would be good for a movie. But if I have to look up different armor pieces every five seconds, I am glossing over it and moving on. I don't care. I'm here for the story. If I wanted an infodump about medieval armor, I would simply pick up a nonfiction book (and maybe I will).
White Space Syndrome
Tell me what the overall scene looks like instead of all these hyperspecific details of certain objects, like carts or emblems or whatever. I want to know where I am!!
Don't just say "a forest." Tell me what kind of forest. Tell me if it's a young forest or an old snarly forest or a swampy forest or a cold alpine forest.
Don't just say "a castle." Tell me if it's a bustling castle or a gloomy castle or a rundown castle.
Don't just say "on the sea." Cold sea? Tropical sea? Far far away from land or is land in sight? These are the things I want!
Too Much Backstory
For the love of god do not explain the entire history of this culture in the first chapter. The first chapter is for getting to know the characters we're going to be following. You can introduce those things slowly and carefully as the story unfolds.
I get that fiction writers are delighted by all the worldbuilding (or research, in historical fiction) they have done. But the reader does not care right away. They need to get invested before all those little specifics matter at all. My eyes glaze over and I give up because I don't want to have to remember all of that all at once. It's like you just threw a college textbook at my face.
Plus, if you're doing third-person limited, you have to remember that the character is not going to be thinking all of that! They won't say all of that either! Because they know all of that!
Even a general on the brink of a major battle is not going to go "yes, this all dates back to when we took Iuanfutila back in 181, when the brave Iuanfutilans protested the rule of our Yawwbaawnwhryr leaders ...." They are focused on the present moment, and they may discuss the backstory later. Tell us what we need to know now because that is what the character would be thinking too.
"Oh, but Topazadine, how will the readers understand the context if I don't tell them??"
There's a battle. Two groups are at war. Or something was stolen. Or two people are fighting. Whatever. We understand those things. We can get the basic gist of how things are going to play out by just showing us these things happening. Then, as we have gotten a feel for the characters, you can tell us more about the context.
If you walk into a store that's being held up by an armed robber, do you give a shit about his backstory, or do you only care once that person has been arrested and you have to testify? I think we know the answer. You're not going "ohhh why is he doing this??" at first. You're going "HOLY SHIT THERE'S A GUN WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW???" and then you'll care about the other stuff later.
Too Much Play-by-Play
I also do not need a play by play of a fight scene. I need to know the general movements, and then the overall atmosphere. I want to feel what the character feels rather than feel like I'm watching a football game.
Your reader will fill in the gaps if you give them enough information, but when you overload them with every single action, they're now trying to keep track of what went where instead of how this moment is supposed to feel. And now the action and drama has gone out of the writing because it's become a manual of fighting techniques.
Pointless Dumb Conversations
"Oh, could you turn around for me? I want privacy."
"Sure, of course, I'm a respectable man." Manfred knew that a lady-in-waiting would be unsettled by the presence of a strange man, so he wanted to be respectful.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
Oh my god no one cares!!! No one!! We don't need this exchange. Cut it. This is stupid. Unless something is actually happening or something is meaningful about them saying this, shut up.
How to Not Write a Horrible First Chapter That Makes People Ragequit
Can you tell I'm mad today? I started and stopped three different books because they were all so bad.
Three characters max in the first chapter, with deep discussion of each. (One or two is better.) General appearance, demeanor, profession, whatever.
Restrain the urge to infodump! Dribble it out over the chapter!
Give the setting more attention than random little details that ultimately do not matter. I don't need to know the pattern of the curtains on the horsecart that's about to be burnt. Don't care.
Do not give a play by play of every single action that a character takes because it's boring and no one cares.
In media res is great but do NOT start with a big climactic intense battle or fight or whatever because we don't know these characters and don't know who to root for (or why we should care).
Your character is not going to give us a history lesson in why this conflict is happening. Do not do it yourself either. Give us just enough to get intrigued and no more. Think how your characters would think and what they would prioritize in discussions.
If a conversation is just pleasantries and has no purpose, drop it, we don't care.
#spicy writer opinions#writing#writing advice#story writing#novel writing#creative writing#creative inspiration#writers block#fiction writer#fiction writing#fantasy writing#original fiction#writblr#writeblr#writerscommunity#I'm becoming Cerie .... no no no
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I recently ran an oneshot for my friends in Eureka.
It was a lot of fun and went mostly smoothly! The charakter creation was very easy. It still took more time than I expected, but that was simply because the players needed it to decide on which traits etc. to pick.
The central resolution mechanic with 2d6 is of course tried and true (I assume. Never played one of the many other 2d6 games.) but especially the Eureka system felt really good.
I think I read in a recent post of your's, that you are overhauling the chapter on combat. That seems very important to me. Even though I read the whole book once before running the game, I had immense problems finding out how small details of the combat worked during play. The musings on game design (eg, "yes, the combat is deadly, thats on purpose heres why" and such) where really enlightening to read, but got in the way when searching for concrete stats.
I will run the same oneshot again for different friends. The game seems really promising to me.
My mystery took place on a single in game evening, and none of the players were monsters. Having therefore only scratched at the surface of Eureka, I am looking forward to running it more.
Woo! We LOVE hearing about this kinda stuff!
And yeah everything about how the combat-related rules are structured is getting overhauled. All of that was written like 2 years ago when I was a slightly worse game designer and MUCH worse at writing coherent paragraphs and hasn’t been touched since until now. Instead of being split across like four paragraphs (what was I thinking), there will be just two chapters on it: “Instruments of Violence”, which is mostly just a giant list of references for the stats and special rules of weapons and armor, and “Dangerous Situations”, which covers every rule related to how your investigators can get killed. Some of these clean-ups are already available in the latest patreon release, and the rest are coming soon to both patreon and the itchio beta.
Combat is a very rare thing in Eureka, but when it does come up, we want it to be tight and granular, but without wasting the players’ time, which I think we’ve done pretty well at.
Like the book says, combat is deadly and there’s a reason why: so it doesn’t waste the players’ time.
This is a twofold problem to solve. The first layer of it, we solved by making sure the numbers are low. Most weapons can take a character down in 2 to 3 hits, so a single instance of two guys smacking each other will never take too many rounds.
Secondly, well, combat is dangerous and deadly, and if the PCs approach it without a plan, they’re gonna die, or at least get their asses kicked fast. Otherwise, well, I consider that a waste of the players’ time. If it was predetermined that the PCs would win otherwise the story can’t continue, well, what did we roll all those die, look up all those stats, and track all that HP for? Why didn’t we just describe the PCs winning and move on? Combat matters because it can change the outcome of the adventure, and if it can’t change the outcome, why are you rolling dice? Of course with death being so possible, to keep it fun, we gotta include lots of “tools” like cover, positioning, different weapons, special melee attacks, etc. that the PCs can use cleverly to give themselves an edge, and *earn* their survival.
Oh and also yeah can’t wait to hear what you think about the monsters. Funny thing about that, everyone who has read the rulebook knows that monsters and other supernatural creatures are supposed to be really rare, like one supernatural person for every 3,000,000 normal people kinda rare, but, monsters are super cool and fun to play, and are one of the big draws of the system, so we were kinda worried that that rarity wouldn’t come through in play, everyone would just be monsters. We considered setting a limit on how many monsters can be in a party? But quickly decided against it, because then players would have to compete for the limited monster slots, and people might even feel like if they’re not filling in that slot every single adventure, they’re missing an opportunity, and so every party would max out their monster limit every time and there’d, again, be way too many monsters.
In practice, though, most parties in Eureka seem to be comprised of all normal people, or all normal people and 1 monster at most, even without the limit. And I suspect this is both because monsters are kinda difficult to play despite their immense power, and, just to brag, because we made the normal PCs fun has hell to play too. :)
#ttrpg#ttrpg design#ttrpg community#ttrpg tumblr#artists on tumblr#rpg#tabletop#indie ttrpg#indie ttrpgs#queer art#ttrpgs#indie game#queer rpg#queer artist#free rpg#rpgs#fantasy rpg#supernatural rpg#monster girls#monsters#eureka#eureka: investigative urban fantasy
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Steddie rockstar x roadie AU, with Steve being Eddie's queer awakening
(in a not-fic-format because I cannot be arsed to actually write it)
So. Corroded Coffin isn't huge by any means, but they're big enough. Successful and respected within their genre. Has a loyal fanbase, constantly sells out smaller venues, gets to go on tour every so often. They're rockstars who've made it while still getting to live like they're not rockstars when off the clock (and stage). The best of both worlds, really.
They're gearing up for another tour and have a couple of new faces on their crew. One of them got the job by being a friend of a friend. He doesn't at all look like he'd be a roadie for CC, and he doesn't actually listen to them – he's more into classic rock (respectable) and occasionally new wave (not respectable), but it's whatever. He's strong and hard-working and gets the job done. He also withstands the initial hazing like a champ, even biting back a few times. Yeah, Steve Harrington carves a place for himself in the crew and is soon one of them.
Eddie is especially fond of the new guy. Partly because it's clear Steve is as enamored with Dustin as Eddie is, and mutual interests bring people together. But also because Steve is simply a fun dude to be around? He's nice. Except for when he's mean; then he's funny instead. He's honestly funny a lot of times, even when he doesn't mean to be. Like, sometimes someone will make an exceptionally nerdy reference that he doesn't get, so he'll tilt his head and scrunch his eyebrows as it's explained to him. And, all right, maybe that's not funny, per se. More like cute. Endearing. Eddie often finds himself endeared and wanting to pat Steve on the head like the sweet little puppy he so strongly resembles.
The others mock him for it. Tease him about his man-crush on Harrington. Eddie laughs along with them, because yeah! Were he into men, Steve absolutely would've been his type. Look at him! Guy's ripped and has great hair (almost better than Eddie's. Just imagine the mane it'd be if he let it grow past his shoulders...) and Eddie has great taste. He'd for sure be head over heels for Steve if he were gay, and he is man enough to admit it.
That's how the flirting starts – as an extension of the joke. It's not out of character for Eddie, who flirts with everyone. With reporters, interviewers, photographers, TSA officers, venue security, other bands, anyone! Gender, age, or appearance don't matter because flirting is fun. And it's especially fun to flirt with Steve, because he flirts back! No matter how much Eddie does it, Steve will flirt back and help make everyone laugh. It's a great part of their dynamic and actually brings them closer as friends. Dustin would be proud of them.
So, while on tour, they have this thing where one member of the crew gets to decide where they'll go after shows or on their days off. Participation is optional but encouraged, because it's an 'organic bonding experience' or whatever their manager called it. Occasionally it'll be a movie or a museum, but usually the destination is a bar or club. What's there to say, they're a bunch of male, red-blooded twenty to thirty-somethings – what better pasttime is there than to get drunk after a hard day's work? Yeah, every so often someone will pick up a girl, but it's a rare occurrence. A bunch of the guys has special ladies waiting at home, and for the single ones it's much easier to just book a date with their own hand.
There's one guy on the crew, Peter, who always takes them to a gay bar when it's his turn. This because he is gay. Duh. No one minds it, and if they do they don't come back next tour. Corroded Coffin prides themselves on their allyship. They're freaks of nature welcoming all other freaks of nature. Seriously, what does it matter if a dude likes cock instead of tits? Why is it wrong if he wants it up the ass? It's actually not that bad! See, Eddie used to date this woman who was puh-retty kinky. Pegging was just one of the many, many, maaaaaaany things she enjoyed. And Eddie loved her, so, well. It wasn't as good as she claimed it'd be, but it was fine. Enjoyable enough to do again. The point is that CC doesn't dance with homophobia, and Eddie will scream it from the top of every table.
Anyway. When it's Peter's turn, Steve (who hasn't gotten to pick yet because he's the newbie and they pick last) comments upon it. Nothing big. Nothing bad. Still, Gareth is on him, puffing himself up like a chihuahua and asking if Steve has a problem with it.
Eddie’s hands turn clammy with nerves in the split second it takes for Steve to roll his eyes and scoff "of course not".
Look, he'd really like for Steve to be back next tour, okay? They're buddies now and he doesn't want to lose him to bigotry. Also, it'd suck to have to tell Dustin that the guy he hero-worships is actually a douchebag. Nothing to fear, however – Steve continues to prove himself to be a good dude. He doesn't even blink when propositioned at the club! Simply tells them "thanks, but no thanks". Unsurprising, since he's cool with Eddie's nonsense, but there's a difference between a straight guy hitting on you as a joke and a gay guy doing it for real. At least, for some it is. But not for Steve. Fuck, Eddie hopes he'll be back next tour. He's on his way to being Eddie's new best friend and he'd miss him.
Then, it's time – they're in Chicago and it's Steve's turn to pick. Some of the others grumble over the newbie getting such a big city at his disposal. Eddie doesn't blame them for suspecting favoritism – it's happened before – but not this time! It just became like this and Eddie has nothing to do with it! Ask the other band members.
(When he breaks the news to Steve, his hazel eyes light up. He asks, "Can a friend of mine come with?"
"Sure, man," Eddie says, clapping him on the shoulder.
Steve buzzes with excitement, giddier than a kid on Christmas morning. Fuck, he's so cute.)
That night after the show, as they're leaving for the 'organic bonding experience' (seriously, Chrissy? Of all the things you could call it...), they're met by a young woman outside the venue.
She's tall and skinny, like a giraffe, and that's all Eddie can tell at first glance because she rushes up and flings herself into Steve's embrace. They hug, they laugh, they might cry a little, and he even spins around with her in his arms.
(Girlfriend? She's certainly pretty enough for it.)
Once the heartwarming reunion is over, Steve introduces her as Robin, and tells her that it's his turn to pick a place for them to decompress but he's making it her choice. Robin spits out options with a speed none of them keep up with; Steve stops her, saying, "No, Robs. I'm making it your choice."
They share a look.
She gasps.
They grin, mischievously, and then...
She takes them to a lesbian club.
It's open to gay guys too, obviously, but clearly caters to lesbians. It's a smaller thing, the kind that entertains a steady line of regulars. Apparently, Robin and Steve are among these regulars, because the bartender greets them by name the moment they step inside.
They order their drinks and claim a booth. Robin is quick to instigate a discussion about what dorky things Steve has done while away from her. Eddie is happy to share while Steve laments he should've known better than to introduce them.
An hour or so in, Robin skitters off to catch up with a group of women, all varying degrees of butch. Not ten seconds later, someone new claims her seat (which is also Steve's lap). Eddie mistakes them for a girl at first, because they're small with a high-pitched voice, but no, it's just the twinkiest twink. He makes himself at home on Steve's thigh, pressing a kiss to Steve's cheek and squealing, "Stevie! I didn't know you were back!"
Steve laughs. "Hey, babe. Just for tonight. I'm here with my coworkers."
The twink twists around in Steve's lap. He really is girly-looking: soft jawline, slender build, shoulder-length blond waves, and huge eyes enhanced with makeup. He even smells like a woman, strawberry and jasmine.
"Oh! The rock band!" He extends a dainty hand. "Hi, I'm Brendan!"
Brendan sticks around for a while. Like Robin, he wants to know what Steve's been up to. Unlike Robin, he's more interested in awe-inspiring stories than embarrassing ones (unfortunate, for the latter kind heavily outweighs the former). He doesn't move from Steve's lap. Kind of weird, actually. Like, there are available seats. Yes, Robin also sat exclusively in Steve's lap, but that's different. They're best friends and it was chaste and cute. Brendan is... honestly, Eddie doesn't know who Brendan is. Some dude who's shameless enough to rub his ass on Steve's dick in full view of everyone. Yeah, you're not as subtle as you think, babe.
He doesn't even move when they get up to let another crew member go to the bathroom! No, Steve slides out of the booth still holding him, Brendan perched on his forearm. His muscles flex, a vein straining underneath the skin, but Steve's face is relaxed. As if the – small, sure, but still grown – man in his arms weighs nothing. More likely, Steve is just that used to carrying things.
For some reason, Eddie's mouth dries a little at the thought of it.
At last, Brendan leaves, but not before sweetly kissing Steve on the lips and telling him to "let me know when you're back for real, stud".
Steve promises with a laugh, then turns back to the table and rejoins the conversation as if it was nothing strange. As if making dates with other men happens to him all the time.
Shit.
The entire thing leaves something gnawing on Eddie. He holds it in while in the club. He holds it in when they escort Robin to her cab. He holds it in as they walk back to the tour buses.
Then the others are gone. It's just him and Steve left, lingering to smoke in the parking lot, and he can't hold it any longer.
"I didn't know you're gay!"
Smoothness, thy name is Eddie Munson.
Steve shrugs. "I'm not; I'm bisexual."
"Right, right."
Eddie takes a deep drag, putting some of the smoke in the wrong pipe and coughing it up. Steve thumps his back.
"Woah, man, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Eddie rasps, tears prickling his eyes. "So, um, is it okay? What we've been... The flirting?"
"Uh, yeah?" Steve tilts his head, eyebrows scrunching and, Jesus Christ, how can he be so adorable? "Why wouldn't it be?"
"Because!" Eddie gestures between the two of them. "You're bi, and I'm not, and is it offensive for me to...?"
Steve blinks at him, before bursting into laughter. Eddie feels the blush warming his neck.
"Don't be stupid," Steve says in between peals of giggles. "It's just a fun thing. S'not that deep. You don't have to lose sleep over it."
"Alright, man. Then I won't."
But he does.
That very night he finds himself tossing and turning. And thinking. Thinking about Steve. About Steve's strong arms and broad chest. About his square jaw and plush lips. About his thick hair and hooded eyes. About how the ugly polo shirts the techs wear look genuinely good on Steve, and about how his tight jeans leave little to the imagination. That particular line of thought has Eddie whimper and roll his hips against the mattress. Rachael's strap-on always felt kind of so-so. Was it because it was too rubbery or because it was too small?
He also thinks about what makes Steve Steve. Like Steve's selflessness, always the first to volunteer to do the tedious work so no one else has to. And Steve's barbed tongue, sharp enough to give even Eddie a run for his money. Eddie thinks about their easy banter, and how Dustin sings his praises, and how Steve let Robin pick a club when it was his turn.
After three consecutive nights of tossing, turning, thinking, and no sleep, Eddie comes to a horrifying conclusion.
It's not simply a question of 'want'. He's not just horny and curious. No, he likes Steve.
It makes things so fucking awkward. He has no idea how to act around Steve afterward. Falling for a crew member is bad enough (so unprofessional; Chrissy would definitely be on his case if she knew), but this is worse because he's a guy. Eddie's never been into guys before! Sure, there are men out there who are objectively hot. Eddie can admit that. But it's not the same. There are feelings involved here.
And the worst is that people notice. Steve notices. How can he not? When Eddie stops responding to their usual flirting, turning into a skittish bunny whenever Steve is close.
At first, it makes Steve pause. Tilt his head, scrunch his eyebrows, and pout in confusion (Eddie's heartbeat turns irregular every time he does). Then Steve pulls away, and Eddie's heart fucking breaks. The atmosphere among the crew turns tense; Peter starts sending him dirty looks that Eddie shrinks away from.
A few days into it, he's cornered by a pissed off Jeff.
"Dude, what's your problem?" he snaps; Eddie wants to sink into the ground. "I thought you were better than this. Who cares that Harrington is also into dudes? It's still Harrington! It won't kill you to treat him like you used to. No one is going to think you're gay for standing next to him."
Eddie croaks, "What if I am?"
"You- What?"
"What if... I like Steve?"
Jeff's jaw hits the floor. "What."
Eddie inhales deeply, staring at his wringing hands. "I like Steve. I've been thinking... After Chicago, I started to think about... And I realized I like him." A sob tears from his throat. "I don't know what I should-"
Jeff's arms wrap around him; Eddie buries his face in the crook of his neck.
"Jesus Christ," Jeff mutters, stroking Eddie's back. "Um, it's okay? We support you. No one will judge you! We love you all the same."
Eddie nods, Jeff's leather jacket squeaking with the movement. He's been wearing it since high school and it smells like home.
"I don't know how to act around him anymore," he sniffles.
"Why don't you tell him?"
Eddie recoils from the embrace to give Jeff his mightiest 'are you stupid for real' look. Jeff sighs at him.
"Oh, come on. You're his friend and a good-looking guy. Why not?" Jeff says, as if it's that easy. But...
"I'm not his type!"
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do! Didn't you see that Brendan guy?"
Jeff falters. He realizes Eddie is right. Because, yes, Eddie is pretty hot. He has the long hair and a pretty face, he's been told. But he's still a masculine guy. A blue-collar type with calluses on his hands and dirt under his nails. He's not a svelte, dainty, little twink – he's as tall as Steve is, with more tattoos than bare skin and who smells like sweat and tobacco badly masked with cheap cologne, not strawberries and jasmine. He doesn't wear makeup or do his hair and some days he just fucking picks a used shirt from his pile and maybe sniffs it before putting it on. He talks too much and too loud. His limbs flail when he's excited. He's not going to sweetly ask for flattering stories about Steve – his instinct is to tease him for calling one of the guys from Nip/Tuck 'Dr. McDreamy'. He's closer to Robin than he is to Brendan. Jesus Christ, he's in the same category as Steve's lesbian best friend! Or at least he was, before he shot their friendship to hell.
There's no hope.
The tour ends on a sourer note than previous ones. It's all Eddie's fault. He doesn't even stick around for the last 'organic bonding experience' – he gets into his car at the first opportunity and drives home.
And then comes the wallowing. Several tubs of ice cream are consumed as High Fidelity plays on loop on Eddie's TV. He writes dozens of miserable, yearning songs and screens his calls, not even picking up for Chrissy or Wayne. It's not until Dustin's cheerful lisp rings out from his answering machine that there's a change. He's inviting Eddie to come visit him and Suzie and the cats in Massachusetts, like he always does after a tour.
Eddie can't turn that down. Besides, he probably needs to get out of the house.
So he goes, and it's nice. Dustin is still a little shit, Suzie is a pearl, the cats are cuddly, and Eddie is a good enough faker to mask his emotional state – his hosts notice nothing amiss.
Then, halfway through his visit, Eddie returns from his walk and who does he find unpacking their car in Dustin and Suzie's driveway?
Can you guess? I think you can.
It's Robin!
And Steve. They're a package deal, you know.
And Dustin's like, "Eddie! They're here! Oh, did I forget to tell you they were coming? Oops. Well, you already know them, so it's fine."
And Eddie is panicking, and Robin is trying to murder him with her mind, and Steve is just like,
"Hey."
Coldly polite.
Eddie hides in his guest room until dinner time. When he comes out, he expects Dustin to chew him out for being an asshole homophobe and kick him out of his life permanently.
But he doesn't. Dinner is as usual, if Steve Harrington ignoring you and Robin Buckley glaring at you is part of your usual dinner experience.
After cleaning up, Steve steps outside to smoke. Eddie, figuring he has to take some responsibility, follows him. Steve is standing on the deck, elbows resting on the wooden railing, his back to the house. He straightens up and turns when Eddie closes the screen door behind him. The sun has set, but the moon is out; Steve's profile is sharp in the pale moonlight, his posture sure. The cherry of his cigarette makes shadows and flames flicker dramatically over his features, highlighting the edges and the curves and he's so fucking gorgeous Eddie forgets how to breathe. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
He slinks over, Steve's gaze following him.
"Hi," Eddie says.
"Hi," Steve says.
"You didn't..." Eddie swallows. "You didn't tell Dustin?"
Steve frowns. "No. It's between us. For now, at least."
"Oh."
Shuddering, Eddie wraps his arms around himself. It's late summer and still warmish as long as there's no wind. Right now it's windless, the cold coming from within.
"I wanted to talk."
Steve hums, noncommittal.
"I wanted to apologize."
Another hum, more interested.
"I'm sorry. For how I acted. I've been an asshole and you don't deserve any of that."
Eddie glances up to gauge Steve's reaction, and oh. The whole evening, Steve's been aloof, cordially keeping Eddie at arm's length, but now...
Now he just looks sad.
A few weeks ago, they were close enough for Eddie to hug him when he looked like this. Eddie would crush his own heart with a sledgehammer if it meant they'll go back to that.
He says, "We haven't known each other for long, but you're already one of my best friends. Then it got weird at the end and-"
Steve's face hardens again, eyes tapering with anger.
"Things didn't 'get weird', Eddie. You made them weird. What the fuck?"
And Eddie takes a deep breath and says,
"I like you."
Shock colors Steve's expression; he takes a step back. It takes everything to stop Eddie from following in an attempt to reel him back in.
"I don't know when it started," he says, the confession tumbling out. "I always liked you? You're a good guy and fun to hang with and a great friend, and I guess you were hot, but a ton of guys are hot and it doesn't have to mean anything. I can be straight and still think guys are hot, you know? But then, in Chicago, you came out and I started seeing you differently. So, huh, turns out, in my case? Thinking guys are hot does mean something. And I freaked out because I didn't know what to do. Being close to you made me so nervous, and I couldn't tell you how I felt because just because you like guys doesn't mean you like me, and I already know your type is cute little blond twinks, and-"
"I actually prefer brunets," Steve says.
Eddie chokes on what else he had to say. He looks up at Steve, who's smiling. Kind of shy but mostly bright, eyes crinkling at the corners. His cigarette is almost down to the filter; Steve drops and snuffs it out without looking away from Eddie. His eyes are like gold, glittering.
"Y-you what?"
"I don't really have a type," Steve says, stepping closer. "I like who I like." Another step. "But, uh, most of my relationships have been with brunets." Another step, then stop – they're nose to nose. "Nerdy ones."
Eddie's head spins. He squeaks, "Oh?"
Steve nods. "I like smart, passionate people. And I..." He giggles. "I've had a crush on you since the beginning."
Eddie's head fucking explodes. It leaves a gash in his face that stretches from ear to ear. A breeze blows past, caressing his burning cheeks. It's his turn to giggle.
"You're fucking with me."
Steve tilts his head, but doesn't scrunch his brow this time. No, it remains smooth, but his eyelids droop as his eyes roam Eddie's body.
"So far, only in my head."
Eddie sputters. He grabs a fistful of hair and pulls it in front of his red face. Steve, the bastard, laughs at him. He reaches out, coaxing the locks out of Eddie's grip and tucks them behind his ear. There's an endlessness in his gaze; simultaneously looking through Eddie and at him. Seeing him from every angle, especially the ugly ones, but touching him just as tenderly anyway.
Eddie wets his lips. Since he caused the distance in the first place, it only seems fair he takes the last step. "Do you want to go out with me?" he asks. "A date?"
Steve leans in until they touch from forehead to nose tip.
"Yes," he says. "I do."
#Eddie: It's not that easy!#Narrator:It was in fact that easy#stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#steddie#steddie fanfic#eddie munson#steve harrington#my writing
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In Which I Ramble About Pavitr's Character Design and the Indian Cultural Stuff Related to It
DISCLAIMER: I'm an Indian, and these are all my thoughts and analyses, but I'm also just one person and by no means am I speaking for everyone. I am not all knowing, and I am not immune to being wrong sometimes. These points are all my own thoughts and stuff that I know through my lived cultural experiences and some history and book knowledge, but I've not particularly researched any of these. I'm just out here giving my take from what I know. This is mostly just going to be me rambling, okay? Okay. Let's go!
Anyway okay so I just wanna go from the top down:
No. 1:
First of all his hair
His fucking hair
This is one aspect that i k n o w I'm overthinking and probably wasn't as significantly thought out in the design but it just Spoke to me and by all accounts I'm not the only one
But I'm so glad we have him with his thick gorgeous fricking hair, especially them being like curly/wavy and slightly long instead of straight and cropped or whatever
Like. Indians usually have very thick and luscious hair, not everyone ofc but generally it's a thing, and it's considered a point of pride to have long dark thick hair.
And the thing is for the longest time the beauty standard in India was to have very straight and shiny hair, all the actresses and heroes were doing it, even though that's literally not the realistic case for a lot lot LOT of Indians. There's a pretty big variety of hair texture in India; some of it is regionally concentrated too, eg. in South India you get a lot of frizzy, tightly coiled hair that's rough textured, whereas curly hair is usually silkier and looser curled as you go Northwards,, Bengalis tend to have very wavy thick hair,, etc. By no means a rule or anything, it's just a thing that there's a lot of curl variety and a lot of it was for the longest time considered ugly and unkempt (there are some classist/regionalist elements to this stereotype also unsurprisingly) still is by some people,,, bc the standard was Shiny Straight Hair. It's a standard that's slowly shifting. It's currently leaning more on the wavy and voluminous side. But it's def a thing still.
All that to say, it makes me so so happy to see Pav with his curly-ish lush hair that he wears with such pride and style,, that are a symbol of his own pride and self care too!!!
Also the line about "coconut oil, prayers and good genetics" - I LOVE THAT REFERENCE AHAHABSSK, using coconut oil for the hair is a very common thing here, it's so so good for the hair and the scalp alike and it's relaxing to massage it in too.
I've seen people try to write Pavitr in fics as "quickly brushing some coconut oil through his hair" as part of his morning routine and. Um. That's not how it's done askaskjas, I don't mean to be rude to the writers at all, everyone does the best with what they know and no one knows everything, but also practically speaking that would be greasy and awful.
There are multiple ways to apply coconut oil, ofc. Coconut oil is often massaged into the scalp and rubbed into the hair like an hour before washing, sometimes with lemon juice mixed in, and then washed off when bathing. Some people, especially those with drier and finer hair, apply it as a regular after-hair-wash thing, too, but even so it needs to be rubbed in.
A really beloved thing we have is coconut oil champis, too! This is basically when you sit down cross legged in front of youe mother/grandmother, and she massages the coconut oil into your scalp and hair in a way that literally cures all tension and headaches and leaves your head reeling and is so so good for hair and stress and everything. It's a family bonding thing more than just a hair routine. It's not always done by the mom/grandmother ofc, it's just how most of us first experience it, and they have a technique that none of us can ever quite replicate to the same effect later. As we grow up, we often do it for ourselves and for others. It's a weekly or monthly or even just occasional thing depending on who you ask. But yeah that reference was great I love it dearly!
Also about the hair length
So in the current modern "civilized" standard (Indian schools and society in general tend to do a lot of shit trying to assimilate us into western culture and stamp out our own,, for example all my life I've been in schools where speaking Hindi and Telugu and stuff in class or in the hallways was Wrong and Forbidden and We Must Speak Only In English Bc We Are Educated And Cultured. This is so fucking hypocritical bc they would also have Hindi and Telugu classes and then criticize us for not getting it right or whatever), boys are meant to have short hair. Teachers literally single boys out in class for leaving their hair longer, not the exact length they set as the limit. This was my entire school experience; thankfully it doesn't seem to be the case in college, but that may just be bc I'm in an artsy college. In the workplace it's less stringent but it's still a thing.
HOWEVER, historically and culturally, long hair was considered good and even Important for both men and women. There's huge regional variations in this ofc; Maratha peshwas and higher classes and stuff for example wore a "pilaka" (idk what else it's called), which is the head shaven clean except a tuft in the middle that's sometimes braided. Brahmins still do it too.
But my point being, long hair was considered good for the most part, at most it would be worn in a bun for fighting and working,,, braids are a pretty big deal too. Having to cut your hair short=a symbol of dishonour and/or exile, or reserved for menial workers and so called "low classes".
(This is not stuff you even get explicitly told btw. This is stuff I've mostly inferred and studied from history and mythology and stuff , so there's no guarantee I'm 100% right)
Also, in Sikkhism (I'm not Sikh myself so correct me if I'm wrong, this is just what I know) having long hair is super fucking important for men. The hair is wrapped up in the turban, and the turban is a symbol of honour and pride and literally considered life. The long hair is considered sacred.
Removing the turban is basically a symbol of literally losing your honour pride and sense of self,, not just in Sikkhism, just generally at this point. Cutting your hair? Insult on injury.
Pavitr doesn't have particularly long hair ofc
But having grown up with such rigidly enforced things abt boys having very short cropped hair, it makes me so happy to see an Indian character who defies that.
Also!! Quick tangent about braids and their significance,, they're considered very beautiful and another symbol of pride, intricate buns and what not too! Just wanna drop this to give you an idea of what i mean:
In the Hindu myth of the Mahabharata, Draupadi, the wife of the Pandavas (she's a very interesting and important and beloved character, regionally also considered a goddess, she was a princess born of fire married to five princes and the vengeance for her honour literally fuelled the war for righteousness etc etc) vows never to braid her hair again until she has washed it in the blood of Dushasana, a man who forcefully tried to disrobe her in court (it's a whole myth of its own). At the apex of the war, Bheem, her husband, brings her his blood. She washes her hair in it and then for the first time in thirteen years, she braids it.
Braids are not as significant now but it was basically a Pretty Big Deal and I just wanted to talk abt it.
In Hinduism too the gods are portrayed with long hair, it's a Thing.
No. 2:
Okay so moving more downwards,, I have a bunch of Thoughts abt Pavs mask design!
Okay so obv we have the spiderweb-pattern that's a given.
But. The interesting parts are these:
The bindi-like design on his forehead.
Bc my point is
Sure that looks like a bindi. And that's beautiful in itself but I HAVE ANOTHER TAKE
Bindis are traditionally worn by women as a symbol of beauty, prosperity, and again, pride. But while nice, that's not quite a symbolism that fits imo
You know what else is ver similar where my mind immediately goes? A tilak.
The shape is kind of off for a tilak actually, a tilak is more of a U or a V with a dot or a flame-like stroke in the middle. So in that case it looks more like a bindi
But i really like thinking that it's inspired by a tilak too, bc
While a bindi is a decorative mark stuck or painted on a woman's forehead as a symbol of beauty and prosperity
A tilak is basically a mark that's finger-painted on the forehead of , usually a man but there's a softer smaller version for women too and ofc there are women warriors who got tilaks, for auspicious and blessing reasons. So in a Puja or ceremony, a tilak is put as a blessing and an auspicious thing, also meant to impart strength. The head of the household usually gets the most striking or biggest one.
Pandits usually wear tilaks for blessing purposes too, although their design is different and more elaborate than the ones given to others
Gods and goddesses had their own tilaks, some of them very distinctive like Shiva's
The part that applies to Pav is the warrior tilak
Basically before a king or warrior went to battle, it was customary to do a small sending off ritual and for the wife or mother to put the tilak for them and say "Vijay bhava" (may you be victorious)
It's still done for big undertakings and challenges like exams and new jobs and stuff.
It's basically for strength, bravery and victory
The main difference in a bindi and tilak is the intent:
Bindi is for beauty
Tilak is for valour
Which. For a HERO. Just. Chef's kiss.
2. the markings around his eyes!!
I'm sure this has been said before, but it's very very reminiscent of kathakali makeup.
Regionally there's a lot of eye makeup stuff also btw. There are some absolutely beautiful tribal designs and regional designs with a lot of colours but I cant remember specifics rn
Also!! The very distinctive black lines around Pav's eyes?? I love them sm bc they feel so so based in kohl and kajal. Another huge beauty and often pride related thing.
There's even a whole thing where a mother or older sister will often rub a bit of her kohl off on her fingertip and press it behind their loved one's ear so that "buri nazar na lage" (no one's bad gaze catches you). It's called a kaala teeka
The idea being that you're so beautiful and/or cute and bright and lovable and nothing should jinx that and nothing bad should happen to you. It's very rare now and I've never experienced it myself but it's so so precious <33
3. the white markings on his cheeks!
I've seen that explanation of how it's reminiscent of Ganesha, the elephant headed god who is kind of a symbol of new beginnings, intelligence, prosperity, and a ton of stuff I don't even know how to explain honestly, but he's very cool and beloved and has a lot of Good Vibes™ and i love him basically.
I personally am reminded more of kathakali makeup again!! But that explanation is very cool too and i like it!! I don't know if I agree bc i think it m i g h t be a blasphemy to have that imagery on your face, afaik no one here does it for any reasons and we have literal festivals and pujas dedicated to Ganesha
But then again I am a human with limited knowledge and i don't know everything
I personally think the tusk like designs are very cool. However, I also think it would be a bit of a No No for religious reasons. I also think it reminds me more of classical dance face makeup and stuff.
I also think if they meant to make it a Ganesha reference, then he should only have a tusk on one side, bc there's a huge deal about Ganesha being "ekdanta" (transl: one toothed) bc he has a well known myth of breaking off one of his tusks to write a mythologically and culturally significant epic.
There are also a lot of actual cultural face painting things in India that are way cooler than the Ganesha thing in my opinion. So while that theory is cool, I don't personally agree with it. I could be wrong, again, idk what the design intent was exactly.
No. 3:
Next thing: this is a very very small thing and i only have a sentence on it, but i really appreciate Pav's neckline in his suit.
The neckline here? That's the kind of cut that's most typical of kurtas. Especially more ceremonial, kingly, wedding sherwani, or generally festive attire; a regular kurti might have a v-neck or something, but this curved collar? Very Indian and classy in a way I can't fully explain.
No. 4:
This next thing I'm going to go completely ballistic about, everyone hold on to your seats!!!
THE FUCKING MOTIF ON HIS UPPER ARMS. IT'S EVEN ON THE MEHENDI-ISH PATTERN ON HIS WRISTS AND HANDS. THE SPIDER SHAPE TOO. I AM NOT NORMAL OKAY
LISTEN.
LISTEN TO ME
TBIS IS CONFIRMATION THAT KRISHNA PAVITR IS CANON
HE IS SO SO KRISHNA CODED
Idc if I'm delusional, i DARE you to look at that blue design and tell me it doesn't look like a peacock feather
THE SHAPE OF HIS FUCKING SPIDER IS OH SO SUBTLY CURVED TO BE PEACOCK FEATHER SHAPED TOO
There is no human way for me to be normal about this i need a minute
Okay for context:
Krishna is a very important and beloved god in Hinduism. I cannot overstate the love I have for him, even being mostly non religious myself.
There is SO MUCH about him he is such a big deal and thanks to him being made a character in popular Indian cartoons and so many animated and live action movies being made about him, he is literally woven in the fabric of our collective consciousness and love for our culture
He's a mischevious and fun and chaotic and lowkey antiestablishment kid deity. He contains the literal universe. He has a deep abiding love for his people and his family and loved ones and the world he serves. He is a dancer, flute player, sweetheart, lover of life. He has a thousand wives, yet one Radha who he never married but is his literal immortalized soulmate. He guides heroes to duty. He is full of wisdom but also silly hijinks. He is so so beloved.
The peacock feather is his symbol! You could see the peacock feather anywhere and it's immediately OH KRISHNA! He wears a peacock feather, famously. In all his iterations, from childhood to adulthood. Peacock feather is his emblem.
Krishna is depicted through the peacock feather. It's become a very common motif in arts like mehendi and various textile arts to have peacock feather and peacock patterns; I'm sure that existed before Krishna too in several cultural circles but he is definitely a huge part of it since. There is a chikankari motif that is very recognisable that's reminiscent of peacock feather but I'm mostly unsourced on that, going off my own interpretation
But there's a definite link between peacock feather=Krishna=inextricable part of culture and art.
At least in North India. He's less of a big deal the further south you go. Still very widespread and overall loved tho.
So anyway seeing that peacock feather type motif on Pav?? Mixed with his Spiderman identity??? Is so amazing to me.
Krishna coded Pavitr real ✨
(Also yeah people have already pointed out that Pav's hand designs are based on mehendi so I don't need to go into that askjasjkas)
No. 5:
Also. Huge fan of his arm cuffs. It's just another Indian warrior thing; often in ye olde times and in mythology, the cuff would be a lot simpler, often just a thread with an amulet to grant you protection. But it steadily became fancier, and now it can be decorative or a valour thing or both
Very often just decorative now actually. Often seen in weddings and ceremonies too
No. 6:
Okay about his bangles now:
I absolutely LOVE THEM I love them so much I am so obsessed with them actually!!
So. First of all
I remember there being a confusion in like earlier fics especially on whether they were bracelets or damrus or bangles or what
And i have Thoughts
So first of all
They are not damrus/damarus.
Damarus are a musical instrument made of wood and with two beaded ropes to beat on the small drum-like ends. They're also symbols of lord Shiva who uses a damaru.
They are very different from what Pav wears and i remember my fucking whiplash when earlier fics called his bangles damarus. I think i choked on my maggi.
I don't mean to be rude to the writers ofc, they were doing the best with what they knew. But it's just very jarring to me to hear that
I think an explanation I heard was that Pav's web shooter design was inspired by damarus? Which yeah I get that and I actually wanna talk about it bc I very much see it. But they are very much NOT damarus themselves
So
First of all i personally have never seen nor heard of the kind of bangles Pav wears which appear to have a strip of cloth in the middle? While being gold cuffs on both ends? Which is new and interesting actually and opens up aspects abt his character that i find really interesting
Bc first of all: that implies he made them himself from stuff he already had inspired by things he saw. It seems, at least to me, like he used bangles/kadas he had to make the shooters he uses, which are designed the way they are for easier slinging and his cool tricks with them which would be harder if they were solid gold, and also the shape when he does the cool yoyo-y trick and hits The Spot with it and everything is very damaru shape. Which is also pretty cool if it's meant as a reference to Shiva and his damaru (he's a very fierce god with the damaru) or a reference to the street performers who use it nowadays.
Either way - and also additionally the fact that PAV LITERALLY DOUBLED HIS BANGLES AS WEB SHOOTERS WHICH IS SO CREATIVE AND SMART - and developed his own whole signature skillset with it?? And made his own bangle/shooters as I said before????
My boy is PEAK jugaadu
He is the embodiment of jugaad
Never has anything been so true to the Indian spirit than jugaad
Okay so for context, the jugaad that I keep talking about:
It basically means makeshifting and/or inventing stuff you need from the limited stuff you have. That's a very simple way of explaining it. Just imagine that, but up the silliness level x100.
For example, a guy jugaaded a showerhead by poking holes in a sprite bottle and putting a hose in it and routing it to the tap.
Jugaad can be both very smart, and very funny and silly
And it usually involves combining useless stuff/trash/just stuff you had lying around to make smth that you didn't wanna waste money buying, and often ends up having more functions than the stuff it was meant to replace. This but it's also very crackheaded. Like idk how to explain. It's basically makeshifting, but it's just developed into such an Indian Spirit Thing™ that we have a word for it
So i love that Pavitr's bangles do all of that. He is a true Indian boy to his core!
No. 7:
Okay I have thoughts on his dhoti too!
So.
Blue.
I know why they used blue for his dhoti, what with the spiderman colours, the need to complement his bright red with smth softer, and everything. I get it and i love it so so much. What I'm about to say next is not a complaint against this at all, it's very good design imo
But.
Everytime I look at him in his fucking blue dhoti
I just remember all the times my grandmother has apprehended me and made me go and change for trying to wear blue or black at a Puja
Bc they're apparently unholy colours ;_;
Basically yellow, saffron, red are the appropriate holy colours. Now that i think about it, I've never seen a god or mythological king depicted in a blue dhoti or generally blue clothing either - farthest they go from the three i described is pink or green
I never really thought about it until my Nani pointed it out. I'm still not sure if anyone except her even knew or cared about it.
But that is the memory that bonks me on the head every time i Perceive the blue dhoti
Bro upgraded from funeral colour (white, which is his dhoti in the comics and absolutely infuriates me on a visceral level) to unholy colour askaskjjska it's so funny to me
Purple was still a luxurious colour, but generally warmer and/or lighter colours are The Done Thing. It's an old notion and the cultural connotations are now very diluted by Western influence and also none of us Caring about a lot of it anymore (not necessarily a good or bad thing particularly)
Indigo also has. Loaded connotations.
Because Britain did a Colonialism and a lot of Indians suffered for it. It's a whole history lesson.
I would rather not get into the whole details but basically Indigo (the plant from which the dye was made) was a valuable commodity and Britishers essentially forced farmers to grow only that, ignoring their need to grow food or sustenance or care for the land in general, especially in the Bihar-UP regions. There were eventually a lot of revolts where many people, esp farmers, died.
Basically a double whammy of starvation and death as a direct result of colonialism. It was a major part, historically, that sparked rage for the freedom movement
If you wanna learn more abt it you can search up Champaran farmer revolts!
Also about the drape of Pav's dhoti:
I've seen a couple of memes and reels abt how Pav, in an emergency, suiting up for Spiderman duty, would be taking an hour to drape the dhoti and stuff
And those are hilarious and i love them
But also
That's literally not even a proper dhoti -
So the thing pav wears is basically more of dhoti-pants with a cummerbund.
So okay I need to explain this better hold on
A dhoti is basically a sheet of fabric that is draped around the waist and down. The elaborateness of the cloth can vary vastly from intricately patterned silk and brocade, to plain white cotton with a thin gold border optional
The drape of the dhoti varies even more depending on region, occasion, occupation, and status. You can have everything from the casual simple towel like drape and tuck that some men wear to relax on a daily basis, to an intricate thing with many folds and pleats and tucks and the middle part that hangs (I forget the name for that) that would actually legitimately take hours and is often adorned with jewellery . To a thing that's flexible to move in and also looks very pretty and is genderneutral some dance forms call for.
Basically. The drape varies vastly. And it's all one cloth, maybe a second one for a separate cummerbund sometimes, I'm not that well versed abt dhotis tbh.
But the thing Pav wears?? It doesn't seem to me to be folded the way I've ever seen any dhoti
The way it's folded and shaped is not how those style of dhotis work. There would be a lot more pleats and folds, for one. But it's not shaped the way to match the less-folded dhotis either.
Now, I'm no dhoti expert, but that leads me to believe that's not a full on dhoti. What it's more likely to be is dhoti-pants
Dhoti pants are this fusion thing. It's in the name. I haven't seen it much but I know/think/am pretty sure its a thing, bc most Indian guys now don't know how to drape a dhoti either and it's a good solution. Worn like a pant, looks like a dhoti. Simple. A cummerbund for the middle drape, and you're set!
Also side note: the fold with the distinct two legs and the middle drape that Pav has? Is the most commonly depicted warrior and king drape,, at least in North and Middle India, I'm not as well versed about the South but I think it's the case there too. The gods are depicted in that drape too
I have fewer comments on his leg design, I like that it's reminiscent of mehendi even on his feet bc yeah that's also done on the feet, although rarer now and also a bridal thing
No. 7:
He has gold cuffs on his ankles that I really like!
Okay so here's the interesting thing:
I could be wrong, but
But that kind of thick ankle cuff is not actually an Indian thing?? At least not in the warrior hero context that a lot of his design seems based on. At least not of that shape and width.
What we do have though are very simple metal ankle cuffs put on (I think) one ankle of young kids for protection,, again a tradition I'm not very familiar with, it's more localised
The other thing we have that's more interesting tho:
We have payals and ghungroos!!! Which opens up so many exciting prospects to me because those are both dancer things
Like. The payals are ornamental. They are beauty things as well. All women would wear them, their elaborateness and style depending on status, money, and region ofc
They double as dance and performance things too ofc
But ghungroos are specifically dance things
Very very sacred and honoured to the dancers, too. Quite personal
(These are all little bells on the ghungroos btw!! Hundreds of them. They ring out when the dancers dance)
This is what Pav's ankle cuffs most remind me of. It's not the same thing ofc, and idk if the designers were even thinking of this.
But it would be really cool if he was inspired by ghungroos to have cuffs of similar thickness and placement on his legs. Perhaps even familiar to him hmmm?
This is me theorizing HARD to support my headcanon, but combined with Pav's classical dance-n-martial-arts-y moves, i present to you: Pav learning classical dance when he was younger (a thing that a lot of Indian kids do and only a few seriously continue for their lives) is real.
I rest my case
Like yeah it's known at this point that Pav's moves are based a lot off the martial art of kalaripayattu. Which is SO AMAZING AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! But I also think this would be a cool influence alongside that, bc it really feels visible too.
No. 8:
The fact that Pavitr is barefoot is so so important and dear to me!!!
In Indian culture, you're supposed to take your shoes off as a mark of respect, before entering the ranabhoomi (literal transl: battleground, but not in an actual war with swords and shit ofc)
Being barefoot for pujas and in temples and on sacred ground in general is very important
As is being barefoot when you're walking onto a kabaddi or wrestling ground,, basically any fight that's supposed to be important and/or with honour. It's a respect thing for the opponent and for the earth you fight on.
There are a lot of contexts where being barefoot is important or a given
There's the prayer ground bc it's sacred and holy and you can't be dragging your dirty ass shoes there it's super disrespectful. You gotta enter with clean feet specifically, dirty feet are considered disrespectful too. that's also why there wil often be feet washing areas outside of temples here
Then there's the ranabhoomi that I just said, which is more of respect for your opponent and the earth. Respect to the earth especially is very important in the combat forms and sports I know of at least
Then there's the basic respect and tbh the hygiene thing too, of always taking off your footwear before entering another persons house. That one is more flexible, sometimes you can take it off inside, but the done thing is to take them off outside generally. Especially if you're a guest who's not particularly close. You'd be considered really rude if you didn't take them off at all. But again that still varies by person,, the older generations are way stricter abt it
Then the bride thing,,, it's actually a whole small ritual. The bride and groom will enter the groom's house for the first time,, which is considered the bride's new home bc misogynistic tradition so yeah. But basically it's supposed to be an auspicious beginning to a new home and life. (Btw being barefoot during the wedding ceremony is also generally required)
Usually, at least in North Indian tradition, a small vessel of rice is kept at the threshold that the bride must tip over with her foot when entering. It's for prosperity. Then she steps directly into a plate of a red liquid I forget the word for, but it's basically a sindoor paste type of thing. Her first steps into the house must be taken leaving those red footprints behind. That's for auspicious beginning
So Pavitr being barefoot is so so cool from a cultural and a character building standpoint
He takes his job seriously, he does it with respect and honour!!! He seems so chill and happy go lucky, but he's deliberate and respectful abt it!! And he's super connected to his culture too, bc you could just Not and no one would care, but it's so important that he does!!
So yeah!
That has been my full ramble askjasjkas. If you made it this far, have a cookie! Thank you and I hope this was interesting <33
#pavitr prabhakar#atsv pavitr#spiderverse pavitr#spiderman atsv#across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#character design#rant#starr rambles#analysis#design analysis#character analysis#culture#indian culture#cultural references#pavitr my beloved#myths and legends#chaipunk#goldenpunk#spiderman india#india love#indian#long post
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Become What You Were Meant To Be (Eddie Munson)
Word Count: 2.4k
Themes/Warnings: Modern!Eddie, Older!Eddie, set in the mid-2010s, fandom lingo, nerd lingo, Star Wars, typical childhood bullying, angst, minor FOI reference, some canon divergence, coming of age themes, probably poorly written and not edited at all
Note: Happy Birthday to one of the backbones of this fandom, who supports and encourages so many of us, whose endless friendship I am so grateful for. Someone who has absolute endless creativity but doesn't give herself enough credit and grace, who is secretly sitting in the background pulling the strings on some of the best stories I've read and I've written. My muse, my life, my world, my cheeseburger. @fracturedarkness
Thanks to @dr-aculaaa for the beta.
You can find my masterlist here.
Please do not interact if you are not 18+.
Enjoy!
---
Eddie Munson was a nerd.
Point blank, end of story.
It was one of those badges he wore along with Freak and loser and...well, you get the gist of it. But it was a badge worn with pride. He owned his identity. Wasn't afraid to show everyone he came across who he was.
It hadn't always been that way.
There used to be a time when it felt like the worst thing in the world to be a nerd like that. The kids bullied him because he got overly excited talking about his favorite characters and favorite books that they found boring. They all teased him when he wrote stories about exciting heroes from fantastical worlds in English class, even though the teacher told him that his stories were ambitious and imaginative. And when he spent lunch doodling in his notebook instead of playing kickball or foursquare? Well, you get the point.
"You're so weird." They mocked him. "You're a freak. Draw normal things. Like normal things. Why can't you just be normal?"
It was cruel, in the way that children naively become perpetrators of cruelness. And it made Eddie sad.
Because what did that mean? He couldn't draw normal things, or like normal things, or do normal things. Then he wouldn't be himself anymore.
And that was the point where he decided normal was overrated. Why would he want to be normal when he could be...anything else.
He could pretend he was one of the Pevensies upon a throne at Cair Paravel. Or one of the Ghostbusters. Or a Jedi...
Of course, he couldn't actually be anything else; he was stuck being boring, old, nerdy Eddie Munson.
It wasn't until middle school--you know, middle school, when everyone decides to embrace who they are and become an individual--that he decided being Eddie Munson wasn't all that bad after all.
This epiphany definitely didn't happen after a Hot Topic opened up at StarCourt Mall. No sir. Not when one of the older kids that worked there, sporting armfuls of tattoos and a lip ring, told him the pen drawings on the toe caps of his sneakers were cool. Of course not. And not after he used the last bit of his birthday money to buy a cool band t-shirt and colored hair gel. Pssshhh...
So on the first day of 8th grade, he showed up rocking his dad's old leather jacket--the one that practically swallowed him--jeans that he ripped himself and a poor excuse for a mohawk, ready to accept the Freak label proudly.
He also accepted detention for breaking the dress code.
And a grounding from Wayne for cutting up a nice pair of jeans.
And a buzzcut because he'd done that poor of a job of cutting his hair for that mohawk.
But he'd gained a friend.
Several friends actually.
Ronnie Ecker and Doug Teague. They were both in the same grade as him, and shared many classes. And it might have been a little embarrassing, but a sixth grader named Jeff who told Eddie that he was his hero. That made Eddie feel like he was on top of the world!
They were friends that stayed with him all through high school, and when he repeated his senior year twice, even more joined the mix along the way.
Band kids and science fair nerds and...and...and...
He called them his sheepies, and he their shepherd clad in black band tees and ripped jeans.
And Eddie?
Eddie just got nerdier.
Got weirder.
Dug himself deeper into the pit of stark individualism that the close-minded town of Hawkins didn't know how to react to.
It was glorious.
He listened to music that made other kids cringe and turn away and neighbors complain about the noise; he liked it so much that he made his friends start a band with him. They played at every single school talent show until they graduated; they never won and sometimes people tried to plug their ears, but to Eddie and his friend, their sound and that stage was exactly what their hearts yearned for. To them, the auditorium might as well have been Madison Square Garden.
He started playing Dungeons and Dragons--started a club of his own design, Hellfire--when he found the guidebooks on a dusty shelf at the library. They were seemingly untouched since their initial publication in the 70s, but they were like a key that unlocked something inside of Eddie. Something that he seemed to have forgotten along the way of reclaiming the name "Freak."
Through DnD, the imaginary worlds that he left behind early in his adolescence opened their doors to him once again.
And his friends, his players, never made fun of him for knowing the ins and outs of the worlds of their fantasies. Worlds like Greyhawk and Faerûn.
Worlds like a certain galaxy far...far away...
---
Eddie's re-entrance into the world of Star Wars had been...an interesting one to say the least.
To Eddie, Star Wars meant the original trilogy. Cut, print, sign the check.
When he thought of Jedi, he thought of Luke Skywalker and Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan and a puppet Yoda. And of course he thought of the dreaded Darth Vader.
Yeah he had his books from the library, a whole extended universe with Mara Jade and Jacen and Jaina. But he'd missed out on the prequels growing up; from being a little too young to see them in theaters, to the whole fiasco of his mother's passing right before Revenge of the Sith had premiered.
As he got older, the need to see them just wasn't there, and hearing from friends and enemies alike that it wasn't anything to write home about was the nail in the coffin.
Until he met one Dustin Henderson.
It was the Jar Jar Binks t-shirt he wore on the first day of his freshman year that got Eddie's attention.
"What is that?" he flicked a finger against the graphic as he ran into Dustin and his friends in the lunch line. "Something from that new Star Trek movie?"
Cue a whole rant about the Gungans and the Separatists and an inter-galactic conflict that made Eddie happily fold Dustin and his band of nerds into the protection of the Hellfire Club.
Eddie still refused to watch the prequels, no matter how much Dustin begged.
"I like it when you guys talk about them," Eddie shrugged off the pleas. "Even better when you guys act out the whole fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan. I'd sell my left nut to relive seeing you and Lucas do that in Wheelers basement; it was the best day of my life Henderson, I swear to god. There's no way the movies could actually beat that."
He hasn’t expected that those little idiots would trick him into a movie marathon for Lucas's birthday.
Even Gareth was in on the whole plan. Traitor.
But it was the beginning of the end.
From the movies to the books to the cartoons, Eddie's love of Star Wars was rekindled. He even spent a short stint as a gamer playing The Old Republic on the old PC that was tucked into the corner of the trailer.
And when a new movie was announced, Eddie happily took his nerd-dom to the next level.
Yes, he was the one to suggest they all dress up for the midnight showing of The Force Awakens, but if anyone asked it was Mike.
He spent hours on a stupid Boba Fett costume. It was a different set of skills to the mini-figures he was used to crafting for DnD. He had to think on a different scale. Hot glue and spray paint and too much cardboard. Only to find real cosplayers used foam, not cardboard. His paychecks from Thatcher Tires went straight to the project, until he had something halfway decent for the premiere.
"What?" he laughed along with his friends when they joked about the hot glue spiderwebs that he'd been too lazy to clean up. "It's not like I'll have to do this again; we're not dressing up next time."
Or so he thought...
There was something so magical about sitting in a movie theater, in the middle of December, at midnight, surrounded by other people who decided to dress up for the occasion, and a few dozen plastic lightsabers all lit up.
To listen to the theme, to read the crawl on a big screen, to see the camera pan down into the vastness of stars...
This was what it was to be a nerd.
There was something extra special about finding a new favorite character. Something that touched something deep down inside of you when you saw something of yourself in them.
And Eddie had always been drawn to the villains. Whether in the media he consumed or the characters he created for DnD. He knew why; he wasn't totally oblivious. To be the hero of his own story, he often had to become a villain to someone else.
Besides, villains always had a little bit more fun.
So when Kylo Ren first made his way on screen, Eddie knew that he was done for.
The mask, the lightsaber, the Dark Side of the Force, the anger...how many times had he almost given in to the anger he felt at being mocked and teased. He'd overcome that time and again; what if he'd just given in?
There was also something about being Al Munson Han Solo's son.
Yeah. He could understand the anger there.
But then he was also Elizabeth Leia's son...the conflict.
It took Eddie a few days to get over the initial flurry of thoughts after seeing Force Awakens for the first time. That was when he realized he needed to see it again. And again. A matinee showing on Christmas Eve with Wayne, who he also treated to lunch. The last showing on a Thursday in January. Another outing with the guys, refusing to admit that he'd already seen it a few times between opening night and then.
Thankfully, this time, Mike was the mastermind behind their plans for the next movie as they waited for the previews to finish.
"So," Mike sat up straight. "I think I wanna get an early dibs on dressing up like Poe when Episode 8 comes out."
"I think I wanna try my hand at making an Admiral Ackbar costume," Dustin said with utter confidence, and then turned to Eddie. "What about you?"
It caught Eddie off-guard for a second; should he just say Kylo? Did they expect him to want to dress up as anyone else? Maybe they thought that he would want to be Poe, leader of their misfit group as he was.
"Eddie's obviously Kylo," Jeff piped up. Eddie's head immediately turned to him. "What? Don't think we didn't watch you drool over that lightsaber last time."
"And his ship?" Gareth cackled one seat over. "Fuck the Falcon. I swear, if you could turn the van into something that looked like that ship..."
"Oh my god, you're right!" Lucas cackled.
"Hey I think I could figure out a pretty convincing Snoke," Eddie argued, trying to deflect their teasing, but secretly pleased that he'd gotten exactly what he wanted.
And that his friends knew him so well.
---
For two years, Eddie worked on his costume.
Two. Years.
He was practically a different person by the time of the Last Jedi's opening night.
And yeah his motivation faltered, but he never quit.
It was strange, the need to perfect the costume. He’d almost given up many times. When there was a certain skill he wasn't good at or when he'd felt like it would never be finished. Every time, he felt like that silly kid who everyone just told to be normal. To like normal things.
He was growing up. He was a grown up! Shouldn’t he be passed all of this…silliness? Everyone else in the world seemed to think so, as they put away all the frivolities of childhood. Were they working round the clock and pricking their fingers on needles and burning themselves with hot glue?
Probably not.
Eddie found himself still stuck there, watching a world lose its joy and think that it was normal, and he always wondered if he should try to be normal too. For once in his life. The first time in his life.
But every time he thought about letting it all go, about putting his dream aside...something would come and drive him to keep going.
New promotional images, a new trailer. Especially the ones focused on Kylo himself.
"Let the past die," Kylo Ren grumbled in the voice over. "Kill it if you have to."
That became Eddie's driving force.
He owed it to himself to finish. He owed it to his younger self...not to let his dream die...to keep being weird and nerdy and happy.
"Let the past die," Eddie told himself as he stitched the hem of the tunic the week before opening night.
"Kill it if you have to," he said as he distressed the plastic helmet that he'd ordered, giving it the right amount of realism so it didn't just look like something so fake and commercial.
"Let the past die," his child self muttered, front teeth missing from the day Johnny B pushed him over on the playground because he was playing superheroes wrong. Eddie put a hand on his head and then stepped into his boots.
"Kill it if you have to," his preteen self urged him, self-assured, mohawk looking stupider than he realized way back when. Eddie flicked his ear good-naturedly before adjusting the cape on his shoulders.
There he stood--Eddie Munson, the young man, the freak, the nerd--in his bedroom before the mirror. He was adorned in pieces of foam and layers of fabric from the craft store, helmet tucked under his arm.
But in the mirror itself? There was Kylo Ren...there he was as Kylo Ren. In the hallway of a Star Destroyer, layered in armor and the shadows of the Dark Side itself, like he was ready for a battle with the Resistance.
Ready for the battle within himself.
But there was no battle, and the armor was actually Eddie's skin. This was his real self, his true self. All of his work came to fruition, all of the time and effort that he put into the craft. Not just two years working on a costume, but an entire lifetime poured into becoming an Eddie Munson who proudly wore the title nerd and freak and loser.
The destroyer melted away, and he was back in his bedroom once again. Surrounded by posters and books and drawings, by all of his crafts and his guitars and his endless clutter.
He smiled at himself, feeling lighter than he had in a long time.
Eddie Munson was a nerd, and as he lit the lightsaber and he was washed in a glow of crackling red light, he knew that this was who he was always meant to be.
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I just finished the audio book for Donna Tartt's novel The Secret History, so naturally I had to have a lil scroll to see what everyone thought on Tumblr. To add to the discourse: (spoilers, obviously)
Also trigger warning: incest, abuse, murder, alcoholism
Why is Tumblr so in love with Henry Winter?! He murders the farmer, Bunny, and possibly tries to kill Charles. He's manipulative and may well try to make Richard take the fall (har har) for Bunny's death. In the garden scene, he admits to being a psychopath/sociopath. Oh, and he's unbelievably pretentious
Also, why are there so many cute pictures of the twins hanging out? Their relationship was strained, incestuous, co-dependent, abusive. The whole uwu thing baffles me
Richard has a very obvious foot fetish and nobody is talking about it
The novel is quite funny, and I wish more people picked up on that. Most of the humour comes from Francis - the pinz nez stays ON during sex; no, Bunny's parents weren't very upset when one of their grandchildren ruined Francis' scarf, they were preoccupied by their missing son; and there's a throwaway line where the art students eat sushi with paintbrushes instead of chopsticks. I also liked when the twins panicked after Bunny's murder and decided to start repotting tulips
The farmer is referred to by name twice. Once in a newspaper, once by Bunny. Strange to think that he's the person in the squad who might actually have a conscience. Incidentally, Milo, the golden retriever who finds Bunny's body, has his name mentioned more frequently.
Richard is a smelly, badly dressed misanthrope. As is Henry, and Charles towards the end. Francis, Camilla and Hampden itself provide the (admittedly gorgeous) dark academia aesthetic, but if you want to end that dream, remember how terrible everything would have smelled. I guess the difference between appearance and reality is a pretty big theme
Julian is very creepy, obviously, but I was surprised that he wasn't more involved in the plot. He seems like exactly the sort of person to start a cult. I'd also like to know if he and Henry were in a sexual relationship, because we see them kiss once and then it's never mentioned again
Foreshadowing is done EXCELLENTLY through the book. There were a few characters who were described as ghostly at the start, and I THINK they're the ones who survive. Also, Tartt loves her pathetic fallacy (not phallusy).
Time is very strange. If you bothered to plot out all of the events, I don't think it quite makes sense. Term starts in September, say Richard joins Julian's classes in early October? That means all the picnics, the Sunday walks with Bunny, the trips to Francis' house, all happen over about five weeks, leading to the 12th November when Charles, Henry and Francis kill the farmer. Unreliable narrator, I guess
A lot of things about Richard's character make more sense when you realise the abuse he grew up experiencing and witnessing. Poor Ms Papen. Odd that Richard's parents don't visit him when he's in hospital
Funny that everyone is surprised when the twins' incest comes out. Like, they had an orgy at the start of the baccanal. Call me a prude, but I wouldn't attend an orgy with a family member
I would go for girls' night with Judy Poovey
Also, the book was published in 1992. Does anyone know when Prince Charles and Camila Parker Bowles went public with their relationship? Seems like an unbelievable coincidence otherwise
If anyone has an actual criteria for identifying alcohol abuse/alcoholism, please lmk if any of the main six characters AREN'T alcoholics. I'm pretty sure I got liver cirrhosis and lung cancer just from reading this book
#donna tartt#the secret history#richard papen#henry winter#charles macaulay#camila macaulay#francis abernathy#julian morrow#dark literature#dark academia#the macaulay twins
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Stumbling across that weird fanatically anti-transmasc cult again and this tweet really sums it up better than anything
Trans women are defined entirely by misery and tragedy. Historical trans women all died in asylums. That's why Christine Jorgensen, the first trans woman to get gender-affirming surgery in the US, tragically *squints* spent decades as a in-demand public speaker and headlining entertainer. Because trans women literally can't experience anything other than misery
I have a book from the 70s with an ad for a speaker's agency that lists her alongside Rod Serling and Cicely Tyson. And underneath Erich von Daniken, which is irrelevant to my point but really weird. She was not wasting away in an asylum. Many trans women led tragic lives; but many is not all, and there are historic examples, even really famous ones, of trans women who were happy
Why would they erase that to tell people trans women all suffer tragic fates and must suspect everyone oh yeah bc they're a cult preying on the vulnerable and trying to convince them they need protection (but oddly enough from other trans people more than anyone else?)
The trans man thing is a reference to Victor Barker, who was, indeed, a trans man and a fascist in the 1920s. But I think another key point is, uh, that was one fuckin' guy. Why are they tacking that on, except if they're trying to imply trans men are secretly fascists? But that'd be an absurd thing to belieTHEY BELIEVE THAT. That is a real thing these creeps believe now and are seriously implying on the reg
"You must be suspicious that trans men are fascists" is now part of their ever-evolving litany of apparently endless evil from transmascs who...called a internet famous trans woman an asshole? Made a bad tweet once? Literally anything a trans man ever does (or doesn't do) transforms into a collective action on the part of all trans men in their minds. Trans men aren't just not allies in their mind, but are comically evil Saturday morning cartoon villains
Also, of course, the insistence that trans men had it much easier than trans women. If all trans women's lives weren't misery, all trans men's lives weren't happy, either. This insistence they had it "easy" is giving James Somerton on Radclyffe Hall
This is, again, A Single Guy. You have proved two white trans men are fascists, one in the 1920s and one now. Maybe. Maybe some other factor is at play, some other identity shared, by these two men, and the majority of fascists. "Why do people think I hate trans men?" says a group with a list of trans men they hate they can trot out instantly
I think people are just primed to think evidence of one member of a marginalized group doing a shitty thing is proof they all do it, or to go "that's just one guy?". In another life this jabroni wouldn't be posting about how Mao would be a Baeddel (???), they'd be sharing Fox News stories about crimes to declare we need to deport all Muslims and Mexicans. It's the same psychology, just rotted by internet discourse instead of a more traditional reactionary ideology
Also you may wonder "wait, I'm a trans woman, and trans men calling me a Nazi happens quite rarely, actually". I'm a trans woman on the internet and trans men calling me a Nazi has happened a grand zero times. So you may then wonder why, precisely, this sweet, innocent bean who's never done anything wrong is called a Nazi so regularly they think it's a universal problem.
Anyway they tweeted out the Fourteen Words, but they said gay women instead of white children. Truly, how could anyone ever get the idea they're a Nazi
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So I read the watership down graphic novel a few days ago (it was very good, great adaptation of the original book though some things were missing/lacking) and it gave me the itch to draw bunnies again. So instead of, idk, cooking or eating dinner I drew a bunch of watership down bunny rabbits :) Its almost 12 am and im starving but I just needed to get it done today, i wanted to share the watership down love. Who knows, maybe if I had stopped, it would have ended up in wip limbo/hell and i didnt want that to happen Anyhow, I sadly wasnt able to fit everyone but I tried to include most of the main bunnies. I was gonna squeeze blackavar in there but i was all out of brain juice and also canvas space. I used photo references of wild rabbits to try and get the shapes right but the ears were very challenging. Im afraid some might have turned out looking more like hares instead but I really tried my best! (this took me like over 4 hours rip) I also tried really hard to make their coat colors and patterns varied but still believable/natural-ish. Vervain is a lil random because honestly i didnt know what to do for him so i just let the vibes guide me. To fill the empty space beneath pipkin i included tiny El-ahrairah, the black rabbit of Inlé and frith because i despise having empty space on sketch pages. Anyhow im gonna try to figure out what to eat now, hope you guys enjoy!
#watership down#hazel#fiver#dandelion#blackberry#vervain#hyzenthlay#woundwart#pipkin#bigwig#bluebell#captain holly#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#clip studio paint#sketch page
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I wish you would write a fic where....reader is going to get a pedicure but her normal nail tech is out, and the owner's cute son (you pick the member) who's back in town volunteers to do reader's appointment. (hehehe)
Jess!!! I did it 🤣 I didn’t think I could but I actually had a lot of fun with this! Thank you for this ask. I hope I did it justice 💜
******
Self-Care Sunday | JJK
Pairing: NailTech!Jungkook x Fem!Reader
Rating: 18+
Genre: Meet cute; fluff
Warnings: Some naughty thoughts but nothing explicit; slight references to gender stereotypes and occupations
Word count: 3k+words
Summary: You arrive at your mani-pedi appointment to find out that your usual technician is unexpectedly out. Instead, the salon owner’s son offers to do your nails instead.
A/N: Just for fun! Also, I was too impatient and wanted to actually post on a Sunday, which is why I didn’t have time to find a proper banner image for this. I’ll fix that tomorrow 😅 Thank you @midnightagust for your eyes 🥰 hope you all enjoy this!
Every weekend, you make a point to treat yourself to some form of pampering. Whether you went out to get your hair done or simply curled up on your couch to enjoy a book, ‘Self-Care Sunday’ was a big deal for you. It was a way to reset and prepare for the week ahead.
This weekend, you’re going for a mani-pedi. You walk into the nail salon about five minutes before your appointment time.
The small reception booth in front is empty, but the rest of the ladies who are busy with customers pause to greet you since you’re a regular. You begin to scan the room for your usual manicurist, hoping to check in and get set up.
Oddly, she’s nowhere in sight so you ask one of the ladies closest to you, who was giving a pedicure to another client.
“Annie just left. She said she was feeling sick,” she says to you.
“Oh no.” You look around again to see that everyone else is tending to their own clients. There’s no way any of these ladies would be able to take you on this morning. You’re disappointed but it’s not the end of the world. “I guess I could just reschedule my appointment–”
“No, hun, you don’t have to! It’s why she didn’t call to cancel. Our manager will take care of you.”
The salon’s manager, Lily, wasn’t afraid to jump in to help out whenever it was busy. It was a small comfort to know that the day wasn’t going to be a complete waste and you knew that you were in good hands.
The nail technician points to the vacant spa chair next to her and you help yourself. She pauses her work to fill the basin with warm water so you can soak your feet in while waiting for the manager.
“He’ll be right out, okay?” She says with a smile before turning back to her client.
Your eyebrows scrunch in curiosity. You could have sworn she said 'he,' but maybe you were hearing things. You dismiss the thought and activate the massage function on your chair, then start scrolling through your phone while waiting.
A few minutes later, you notice movement in your peripheral vision. As the figure settles on the low stool in front of you, you raise your head to greet them. Your voice gets caught in your throat when you realize that it isn't Lily.
"Hi!"
You’re stunned at the sight of a man sitting in front of you. He looks young and devastatingly hot. You would never expect to see someone who looked like him at a nail salon, let alone working at one. His big, round, beautiful eyes make you want to melt into the water your feet were soaking in.
“Uhm…h-hi,” you choke out once your brain lurches back to life. “I thought the manager was going to do my mani-pedi.”
He grins proudly, spreading a towel on the footrest of the spa chair. "Yep! You're looking at him!"
You feel confused. Did Lily quit or hire someone new? It’s been three weeks since your last appointment. In the background, you hear the other nail technicians giggling amongst themselves.
Seeing the worried look on your face, he explains, "My mom is taking a break, so I'm filling in for her."
You vaguely remember Lily mentioning her children in passing. Since she looks relatively young for her age, she’s always said that people are shocked to hear when she tells them that she has a grown son.
Well, consider yourself shaken to the core.
"I'm Jungkook, by the way," he extends his hand towards you. You're both baffled and overwhelmed by how handsome he looks. The massage chair's tapping setting propels you forward, snapping you out of your daze.
You reach forward to shake his hand and introduce yourself. Although he has a firm grip, his hands are surprisingly soft, sending a chill down your spine.
“When Annie said that she wasn’t feeling well, I offered to take the rest of her appointments for the day,” he divulges.
You look at him skeptically. You’ve never received a manicure and pedicure from a male technician before—especially not from one who was this cute.
He chuckles. "I know, I know. You're probably thinking, 'Does this guy even know what the hell he's doing?' Well, let me assure you that my mom personally trained me. If she's ever worked on you, you can expect the same level of quality from me. But I understand if you feel uneasy. The last thing I want is for a client to feel that way.”
You’re still apprehensive but he sounds confident. You get a grip and nod, giving him consent to continue with the appointment.
“Thanks,” he says softly and with a look of relief. “You booked a deluxe pedicure and manicure, right?”
The deluxe mani-pedi comes with a longer-than-usual massage on your hands and feet. Thinking about this man's hands kneading your tired muscles makes you sweat.
“Y-yes, I did,” you nervously confirm.
He nods in acknowledgment, and you gulp as he begins to dip the pumice sponge into the basin to scrub your heels. He’s careful and gentle with each pass, totally unlike what you’ve been used to. It’s a stark contrast to these ladies, who have manhandled you in surprising ways—especially the petite, older techs. They’re still sweet, though, and they do a great job, but you admit that this is a nice change of pace.
The rest of your pedicure prep goes smoothly until it was time for the massage.
He drains the water from the basin then he props your feet on the footrest. The stool is too low for his frame but he doesn’t complain. He’d rather make the adjustment so you wouldn’t have to bend awkwardly from your seat.
After drying your feet with a towel, he squeezes some lotion into his hands and starts massaging it into your calf muscles. Typically, some ladies prefer to keep their gloves on for sanitary purposes, but Jungkook has taken off his gloves just before the massage. You figured he was the manager on duty, so he could do whatever he wanted. And not that you had any objections, as the skin-on-skin contact feels nice. Better, actually.
You don't know why, but your gaze is drawn to his thighs, which are spread widely in front of you. It's incredibly distracting and you struggle to look away. You wonder if the awkward positioning of his knees against the spa chair is causing him to sit like that, or if there is something else between his legs that he's trying to adjust for.
“Is the pressure okay?” His question pulls you back into reality.
"What? Oh, yeah. It's good. It's fine," you manage to cobble together. His touch is firm, yet gentle enough to be relaxing. Silently, you think, if he was this good with your legs, how would his hands feel on the rest of your body?
"Are you sure? I could apply more, if you prefer. I always try to start off slow, but I can go deeper, depending on how you like it."
You grip the chair's armrests in response as your mouth goes dry. "N-no, you don’t need to go deeper. What you're doing is...great.” Your voice comes out breathy, but in an effort to distract yourself, you dig your phone out of your purse and start randomly scrolling through your social media feed. Now was not the time to be getting horny over your nail technician.
He suppresses a smile at your response. "Okay then.”
******
You manage to survive the rest of the pedicure without any additional incidents, much to your relief. He slips your sandals back onto your feet with ease, without smudging your freshly painted toes, and helps you over to the manicure table.
Once you settle in your seat, you rest your hands on the cushion and dip them into a cuticle-softening solution while he sets up the rest of his tools. While waiting for your fingers to soak up the solution, he checks in with you.
“Can I get you anything while you wait?”
“I’m good right now, thanks.”
"Okay.” Then, he leans in, lowers his voice, and asks, “How do you think I’m doing so far?"
You smile warmly at him. "I have to say, I'm pleasantly surprised." Your toes didn't look streaky, nor did he get polish on your skin. You were impressed!
Your response makes him smile from ear to ear, his nose crinkling in amusement.
"Thanks. I know most women think it's weird to get a mani-pedi from a dude."
You sigh and decide to fess up. He seemed self-aware and appreciated honesty. "Well, I have to be honest—I was definitely apprehensive at first," you admit then follow it with a shrug. "But then I thought, hey, it's a job. If you can do it and have the skills for it? Why not? It shouldn't be restricted by gender."
His brow arches at your remark. "My thoughts exactly!" He agrees emphatically.
You feel another spark of electricity surge through you as he lifts your hand. You watch as he examines your fingers under the light.
“Mm…nice, long, nail beds.” His compliment followed but his thumb brushing over your fingers makes your belly flutter.
“But I bet you probably get that a lot,” he adds with a laugh.
“Not as often as you think,” you say. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was coming onto you.
“Just a regular manicure, right? Not gel?”
“Yeah. I thought, if I got the gel, I can’t get the usual hand massage—”
“I can still give you the massage,” he interjects.
“Oh. But what about the oils? I thought it’s not good for the gel base?” You hesitate.
He shrugs as if it's a non-factor. "I can do the massage after I cure your nails under the light. That way, the polish adheres nicely and it’ll be all set. But if you still prefer a regular manicure, that's fine—we’ll do that. I just want you to know that you have the option," he assures you.
You purse your lips to think for a few seconds. “Well, if you’re sure the massage won’t mess with the gel—”
“It won’t, I promise!” He says confidently. “My mom’s old school and she’d never do it that way but I think that you can still make it work.” After he says it out loud, one of the female technicians next to him scoffs. Seems like she prefers the standard method, too.
Jungkook rolls his eyes subtly at her reaction and turns his attention back to you. “If you don’t like it, I’ll give you your money back.”
That sounded fair to you.
“Alright. I trust you.”
After you decide on gel polish colors, he begins to trim your cuticles and file your nails. But just when you thought you could easily survive the pedicure, him being this close, and at eye-level, was going to be an uphill battle. He looks so focused and precise in his movements; it’s relaxing to watch. Even the little pout he does while maneuvering your finger to apply the polish with the utmost precision to cover every surface of your nail is cute.
You make small talk while he works. Not the usual gossip that you’re used to with the female technicians. You feel comfortable around him but not enough to spill all of your secrets.
“So, are you doing this full-time?”
“No,” he answers before he guides your hand into the curing lamp. “I have a day job but I mostly work from home. My mom said that needed help and I didn’t hesitate to step up. She works very hard.”
Oh no…he’s not only cute but he also loves his mom. You can’t help but feel endeared. You also note that he doesn’t have a ring on his finger. Lily hasn’t mentioned any daughters-in-law, that you recall.
You decide to sound casual to break the tension a bit. “This job must be a great way to pick up women, too, huh?”
He pauses before meeting your gaze. The corner of his mouth curves into a cocky smirk. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Your cheeks heat up. You immediately realize that your comment may have crossed a line, thinking you were at that level of comfort with him just because he touched your bare feet. You kick yourself internally for being presumptuous.
“S-sorry,” you shyly tear your eyes away from him. “I was just trying to make conversation.”
He brushes off the exchange. “It’s cool. Honestly, there aren’t many women falling over themselves to go out with a male nail technician,” he says in jest. “Some people have specific perceptions. They’re usually wrong but I don’t bother to correct them.”
“Oh,” you suddenly feel bad as you’d made assumptions about him too. “I mean, I think you have a lot of patience to be working on nails. Not to mention that you’re a handsome guy who gives great foot massages. I don’t see why any woman wouldn’t want to get more of that.” You catch yourself too late when you realize what you’ve just said.
He snorts your comment but doesn’t pile on it. “You’d think, right?”
You clear your throat and attempt to recover. “Well, you’re also easy to talk to. You keep the conversation flowing.” Your voice is still tight, embarrassed from your ‘cute guy who gives great foot massages’ comment.
“I appreciate that,” he smiles. He examines your nails, one last time, running the pads of his fingers over the polish to make sure that it has set properly. When he’s satisfied, he says, “Looks good. I’ll be right back, okay? Then we can get to your hand massage.” He excuses himself and gathers his tools to soak them in a cleaning solution.
When he walks away and disappears into the back room, you release a breath you seemed to be holding in for far too long. You’d never been this wound up during a mani-pedi.
A few minutes later, he returns and sets a warm towel down. He then moves the magnifying lamp out of the way, giving you a complete and unobstructed view of him. Unfortunately, this doesn't bode well for you.
“So, do you have any plans after this?” He asks casually while massaging circles into your forearms.
You’re all flustered again. “Not much. Maybe I’ll grab some mid-day coffee or something then head home.”
“Nice. Where do you grab coffee?” The feel of him dragging the pads of his fingers on your slicked skin, couple with his piercing gaze are causing your breathing to go ragged again. Suddenly, your brain blanks out on where your favorite coffee spot is.
“Just, uhm—” you struggle to pull the name out of your memory at first but manage to blurt it out when he squeezes your fingers. “It’s not far from here.”
“Oh. I don’t live in this neighborhood so I’m not familiar.” His thumb and forefinger knead your muscles in a way that should normally not feel arousing to you, but it does. And you can’t help when your thoughts slide back into wondering what else those magic fingers can do.
“I figured, if I was going to be helping out here more, maybe I should get to know the area– especially places to eat. You think you can you give me directions to the cafe?”
You shift in your seat. “Well, it’s sort of a hole-in-the-wall place. The GPS is kind of spotty on it. You have to be a local to really know where it’s at.”
“Well, my break’s coming up after this. Maybe we can drive together?”
It takes a couple of seconds for you to realize it. He's not stupid, and you were right – he's definitely self-aware. He knows that you're affected by him. Smiling to yourself, you’re happy to let him know that the feeling is mutual.
Your eyebrows twitch at how forward he’s being. “A break? But it’s only 11:30?” You laugh.
“What can I say? I think I worked you really hard–”
His response makes your eyes bulge and causes your jaw to drop.
“Oh, sorry–I meant to say, you worked me really hard.”
You throw your head back in laughter, and it makes him laugh out loud, too. He was a cocky little shit but you’re not mad at it.
When your laughs die down, he says, “I think we can both agree that we did our best to fight this–” he gestures at the space between you two.
“Oh, is that right?” You ask playfully.
"Yeah. I think we deserve a little treat. Maybe grab some lunch, wherever you want." You’re mildly aware that the massage is over but his fingers are still lingering on your hands while he patiently waits for your answer.
This is one of the most unusual ways you've been asked out, but there's a first time for everything. After thinking it over, you decide to give it a chance. "Okay. But if I agree to go to lunch with you, do I still need to tip you for the mani-pedi?”
He purses his lips in thought for a few seconds before countering. "Tell you what—if you let me take you to dinner tomorrow night, the service is on the house. We can call it even then.”
His playful proposition catches you off guard but it also intrigues you. Again, you find yourself unable to resist his charm.
“Alright.”
Your response makes him smile full-on and it’s infectious, so you can’t help but smile back. He starts to clean up his station, then turns to the older nail technician next to him who saw the whole situation unfold.
“Auntie, please don’t tell my mom,” he whispers mischievously, causing her to laugh after she agrees not to rat him out.
You giggle at his request and tell him, “I guess I’ll meet you out front whenever you’re ready?”
“Sounds good. We’ll take my car so we don’t ruin my masterpiece there,” he points at your hands.
You laugh at his retort and shake your head. Never in a million years did you ever think that you’d find a date a the nail salon. It’s one of the better things to come out of your Self-Care Sundays.
Main Fic Masterlist
You’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading!
If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜
#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fluff#jungkook x you#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook imagines#bts fanfiction#shina asks
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Okay so we need to talk about helluva boss actually. More specifically I'm going insane over one or two certain characters.
I have been staring at the ceiling for awhile trying to make sense of blitzø. He is a badass , a mastermind and a skilled killer . He is a fucking loser , he loves his friends so much his apartment is filled with pictures of them. He adopted a bloodhound because she seemed as alone and hopeless as he was. He would do anything for her. He was so alone he started to adopt everyone in sight and make them part of his team. He's a selfish bitch. But is he really? He thinks he can't be loved. He yearns so much for a connection that he lives vicariously through his friends' love life. He doesn't care about anyone except he remembered about stolas after years. He could have left him tied on that bed and taken the book but he stopped and stayed because stolas called him his first friend. He hates stolas and doesn't care about their relationship. "he can get hurt?". He has a picture of stolas asleep. He refers to his co-workers as his family. He's terrified to die alone. I'm actually not okay you guys he's so complex but also just a wet little meow meow I'm in shambles actually
Then there's stolas and I like him so much it's embarrassing to be honest. He's a royal. He never acts entitled and accepts no as an answer. He saw some clown when he was a child and fell in love with him. He saw him again years after and his first response was " yes , this man clearly wants to fuck me ". And then got shy when blitz played along. He's such a loser. His whole flirty filthy persona exists only because he thinks that's what blitzø is into. He suffered years in a toxic relationship just for his beloved daughter. He's the biggest nerd and adores books. He is a badass and extremely powerful. He crammed his big owl ass in blitz's van instead of using a portal because he wanted to spend more time with him. He loves him, he loves him not.
Yeah I'm done for now but I haven't seen full moon yet so expect even more rambling in the immediate future
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How about Planotic Yandere Claude x Daughter reader (who's the FL's twin sister) who is secretly living through her fifth life while she never got executed she always took her own life after her sister died because a life without her sister isn't a life worth living. She hates Claude with a passion and even when he starts to pay attention to his twins. She makes a point of never ever calling him Father or Dad and only refers to him as his Highness or Claude when talking about him. She is very suspicious of his intentions when he starts being nice to them. And while she does say "Thanks". She never ever accepts anything from him. Eventually this results in Claude begging his youngest twin daughter to call him Father Or Dad and she yells at him " WHY SHOULD I LOVE YOU WHEN YOU'VE NEVER EVER EVER LOVED US? HELL YOU BLAME US FOR MOM'S DEATH CLAUDE. EVERY TIME I HAVE COME BACK I WAS HOPING THAT MAYBE JUST MAYBE YOU HAD CHANGED AND YOU DESTROY THEM WITH EASE BY MURDERING MY TWIN SISTER AND THEN PROBABLY LAUGHING AT MY DEATH WHEN I TAKE MY LIFE. CAN'T YOU JUST GO BACK TO ACTING LIKE WE DON'T EXIST? YOU HAVE DONE IT UP UNTIL THIS POINT. CLAUDE PLEASE JUST GO." And Claude at first confused and concerned has a doctor check on his daughters and then reads a book which explains what's happening to reader. Claude realizing how many his other selfs screwed up and he winds up be coming super overprotective and Possessive of the twins and basically locks them away, promising to protect them from everythimg and everyone.
Two puppets (Yan!Claude x fem! Reader) platonic
-Tysm for requesting mwah!! Appearance is the same as athy ^^
The girl stared at the ceiling once again, This scene was almost too familiar to begin with.
She sighed as if she’d gone threw this a million times which she had, this being her fifth life by now.
In each life she’d take her own after her twin sister would get executed, See y/n truly did adore her twin so much so that she couldn’t live without her.
In her first life she’d let it happen, then realized there was no meaning if she wasn’t around.
In her second life, she tried defending the princess, she’d gotten put in jail for trying to frame the imperial family. Then she committed suicide
In her third life she tried running away it didn’t work, it got repeated and she committed once again.
In her fourth life, she committed after she found out.
it was the same cycle again and again, the only thing she was thankful for in those lives was she got relive the happy moments with her sister over and over again.
the girl never once thought of blaming her sister for her own death, in fact in every life she’d blame her father, someone who was okay with murdering his own child over one who isn’t his to begin with.
She knew he probably laughed at her when he looked at her grave, If he ever even went. She knew he probably even laughed when he found out that she committed.
Saying that the princess hated him would be an understatement, she wished he’d burn suffer threw everything she’d been forced to go threw. Only then would she try to forgive the man.
“Athy stop running!” The blonde begged chasing after her sister, her short legs were getting her nowhere at this point.
from exhaustion the girl fell to the ground crying in her head mentally, she heard footsteps, “Y/n what’s wrong?” She tilted her head helping up her sister.
“You’re going to fast!” She cried, she clung onto her chest, Athanasia stared down at the girl.
“okay then we will walk!” She declared holding onto Y/ns hand and moving forward.
Athy at first was quite irritated by how clingy y/n was but she had gotten used to it, she’d adjusted her plan into the two of you running away when you two were older instead.
As usual you were looking out incase anyone was wondering why two toddlers were out.
“Athy do we go no-” for a split second you turned your attention to your sister who was biting gold, quickly you ran to her and scolded the blonde but before you could finish.
A shadow was cast upon the two of you upon looking at who it was, this hadn’t happened in any timeline prior to this.
You wanted to run away no you could, but your body wasn’t allowing you in the slightest, all you could do was stare at the blonde man who’s name was Claude de alger obelia, Who had gemstones for eyes, who was also your father the emperor.
What’s he doing here?, the girl though anxiously, this had never happened before, nor was her sister acting like in the past timelines but she never questioned it.
In fact she’d never actually seen the man, she’d heard about him, but she’d never seen him face to face.
“What is this?are they bugs take them away” the man demanded, y/n peered at her sister nervously realizing she had the same expression as her.
The gold coins and diamonds quickly fell to the ground make loud noises as they hit they hit the marble floor, it was noticeable in the silence making it even more awkward.
after a while he finally spoke again, “those faces I’ve seen them before” he sneered, “was it that dancer from siodonna?, you look like her” he added in the same tone.
When that scene ended, you could barely remember what happened or how you ended up in the emperors office seated next to your sister.
The blonde glanced around the room in suspicion, was he planning on murdering you in front of your sister? Why were you infront of him.
“Athy can talk” Y/n heard her sister speak she turned her attention back to her, right she wasn’t paying attention so what was this conversation even about? Was he about to murder Athanasia because he thought she turned out mute?.
after a while, y/n knew this was all an act from the way her sister was acting. But she didn’t bother speaking not like he was speaking to her anyway.
“I ordered them to bring out something kids would like” he spoke, noticing either of you were eating the food. “If you don’t eat I will have no choice but to punish the cook” he threaten his eyes trained on the two of you like you were animals.
“Thank you for the food!” Athanasia yelled stuffing her mouth with the deserts on the table. You swore you saw a tear fall down her face.
“And you why aren’t you eating?” He questioned, “I’ll eat later…” the girl responded, “thank you for the food your majesty” she added, She could feel Athanasia stare at her with a confused look.
it was left at that, the rest you erased from your memory, once the two of you returned you clung onto one of the maids legs and started crying.
Later that night, Felix came and informed the maids that you two would have tea together every day.
Claude soon found out the difference between the two of you, though you were twins you had shorter hair than her and more quiet, your existence was barely noticeable unless people payed attention.
Athy called claude her father, while you couldn’t even look at him without feeling disgusted in someway. The only thing anyone other than Athanasia was able to coax you into saying was “okay or thank you”. Anyone who wasn’t aware would assume your the older twin based on how you’d act, but Athy knew it was an act.
Everyone shrugged it off as you liking Athanasia more due to you two growing up together.
Once the emperor decided to give you a gift, Exactly to test your reaction. But it was the same. you’d thank him and never use the gift or wear it again. To say that he was irritated would be an understatement, this was the first emotion he’d shown other than his creepy smile.
He’d tried to find an answer as to why his youngest hated him with a passion, but he couldn’t find one he’d let you be and never irritate you once.
Every once in a while he’d ask her the question.
“Why won’t you call me father at least?”
“Why don’t you call me papa I thought younger siblings like copying their older siblings”
Once he resorted to some sort of begging watching your normal expression change into shock.
To say you’d had enough was an understatement, Each and every movement of his every word he’d spoke was irritating.
So the last time he’d opened his mouth and muttered out the saying you finally lost it.
“Why do you care” the girl asked her voice lower than a whisper, “what?” He responded clearly asking you to speak up.
“Why do you suddenly act as if you care do you think buying all this jewelry and junk would make us happy after you blamed us for our mothers death knowing she’d want us to be here you broke your promise with her all because you couldn’t handle losing her! You took it out on us and now you want waddle your way back into my life and bribe us with gifts? You want to kill Athy again like you always do you wanna murder her and make her regret being born when she did nothing! You’d probably laugh at me after I die again wouldn’t you? Life was better when you didn’t even know our names nor our looks I hate you I hate you so much words can’t describe it you’re not my father and you’ll never be! I hate you Claude I hate you with my entire soul”
the emperor was confused, Shocked maybe he stared at her speechless, he turned his attention to one of the servants in the room.
“Call the physician my daughter isn’t well” he spoke, the servant quickly scrabbling around.
“Your daughter seems just fine, your highness just make sure she drinks more water” he reassures leaving the room.
Still even with the rpm doctor confirming it, he couldn’t shake off this feeling that there was something off. From the way you said those words to be exact.
So he ordered Felix to bring him every book known about magic or sickness, he soon found out the reason.
Reincarnation, something that was told to be a myth, he believed a hundred percent that was what happened to you, it was uncanny because you aren’t dead, nor is your sister dead.
Although he doesn’t know how many lives you’ve had or how you even reincarnated, he knew that all of his past lives were why you were so wary of him.
He’d made a promise with himself that day, a promise that till the day he dies he’d keep you safe.
“Where are you going?” The blonde questioned his daughter, “Garden” she responded, without a word he picked her up and drew further away from the garden.
“Your hi-”
”From now on.. The second princess of obelia will only be allowed when requested if I find her out her room without it being brought to me first I’ll hang your heads on the palace walls. The same goes for the first princess” he declared his eyes fixated on the girl.
“Because as long as I’m alive nobody will be allowed to hurt you”
I had a lot of fun writing the request ntg‼️‼️Hope u enjoyed reading pookies 😍💕💕
#-Azuwritess#wmmap x reader#wmmap fanfic#wmmap#wmmap athanasia#wmmap claude#who made me a princess#yandere manhwa x reader#platonic yandere#claude x reader#claude de alger obelia x you
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An absolutely incredible review of the beta version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy by review Willy Muffin on youtube, complete with visuals and actual analysis!
I'm going to also add to this post a comment that I left on the video, offering further insight into the design intentions of the game, though the comment might not make as much sense if you haven't watched the video yet.
Hey, lead writer of Eureka here, first of all I wanna say how good and professional this review is, it’s almost indescribable how it feels to see our project taken so seriously and given real analysis, complete with visuals and everything! We would be super impressed and happy with it even if you didn’t like the game—but luckily it sounds like you loved it hahaha
I’d also like to address a few things throughout the video, not as arguments or rebuttals, just further developer insight for everyone
Re: “Urban Fantasy.” “Urban Fantasy” is basically just another term for “modern fantasy”, just a fantasy story that takes place in the 20th or 21st century and deals with the intersection of contemporary life with the supernatural, and it might be an Americanism, or even a Southern-ism, since it has a lot of connections and origins in the living folklore of New Orleans, so I shouldn’t be surprised it isn’t a term everyone is familiar with. Just think of it as the kind of genre where instead of the vampire living in a secluded scary castle, his name is Phil and he’s your roommate haha. What We Do in the Shadows, Shadowrun, and the World of Darkness games are all some other good examples of “urban fantasy.”
Re: Scooby-Doo. Oh we would LOVE for you to run a Scooby-Doo-like wacky mystery with Eureka. Even though the main tone is dark and gritty and noir, we did intentionally build it so that it could run more lighthearted stuff as well! There’s even a few Scooby-Doo references to be found throughout the text, and if we hit a certain stretch goal on the Kickstarter, we’re going to be adding a bunch of Scooby-gang-inspired traits, including the option to play a Talking Dog!
Re: Combat being the largest section, even larger than Investigation. First of all, that’s kind of an illusion that is the result of the game being unfinished. I have a tendency when I write rules to use really long sentences, overexplain things, repeat myself, etc, and that dramatically bloats the rules text and page count, but that’s why we have an editor! She goes through after the fact and trims most of the fat off my bloated writing style to make it flow smoother and read faster, and take up less space. The PDF that was read for this review has had the Investigation chapter copy-edited (and cut down in size by about 25%!), but the editor hasn’t gotten to the combat chapters yet, so they still have a hugely inflated page count. When she’s done with them, you can expect each combat chapter to also be cut down in size by about 25%, so they won’t be nearly so large a chunk of the book.
Secondly, I’ll explain our reasoning for why the combat chapters and advanced combat rules are such a big chunk of the rules text, it’s intentional design which I will now explain. If anyone still doesn’t agree with that design, that’s fair, and that’s why we made the Basic Combat Rules an option.
The reason that the advanced combat rules are the default, and the reason they exist at all, is because it incentivizes and rewards Investigation. If combat is super deadly, it makes Investigation, snooping, and spying more appealing than kicking down the door and getting your head blown off. But of combat is super deadly, it also needs to be very deep and tactical, because if it’s deadly but shallow, then there’s no player agency. “Combat starts, roll some dice, okay your guy is dead.” That’s no fun. So by adding rules and modifiers for cover/elevation, distance, the difference between a pistol and an assault rifle, etc. we make it so that not only is combat its own high-stakes puzzle, but make it so that when the PCs HAVE to engage in combat, all their investigation can really pay off and save their lives. Spying on a building to find out the number of goons stationed there and how they are armed helps you plan and assess risk, stealing the blueprints to the building helps you know how to get the drop on the goons, and know the best places to attack from so that they are stuck out in the open and you are not, etc. and having rules for those things means that all the PCs’ snooping and planning makes a real mechanical difference in whether they live or die.
That’s just my opinion though, and one of the biggest reasons WHY we decided to write the combat with as much depth as we did.
Anyway, thank you again for this review and analysis of our project, our Kickstarter jumped up by about ten more backers in the evening when this video went up after several days of no new backers, and we have to assume we have this video, and all of you watching and reading this, to thank. You’re really making our dreams come true. :)
Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is kickstarting from right now until May 10th! Back it while you still can!
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If you want to try before you buy, you can download a free demo of the prerelease version from our website or our itch.io page!
If you’re interested in a more updated and improved version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy than the free demo you got from our website, subscribe to our Patreon where we frequently roll our new updates for the prerelease version!
You can also support us on Ko-fi, or by checking out our merchandise!
Join our TTRPG Book Club At the time of writng this, Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is the current game being played in the book club, and anyone who wants to participate in discussion, but can’t afford to make a contribution, will be given the most updated prerelease version for free! Plus it’s just a great place to discuss and play new TTRPGs you might not be able to otherwise!
We hope to see you there, and that you will help our dreams come true and launch our careers as indie TTRPG developers with a bang by getting us to our base goal and blowing those stretch goals out of the water, and fight back against WotC's monopoly on the entire hobby. Wish us luck.
#traveler#willy muffin#monsters#ttrpg#rpg#eureka: investigative urban fantasy#tabletop#eureka#roleplaying#ttrpg community#ttrpg tumblr#dungeonsanddragons#dungeons and dragons#indie rpg#indie ttrpgs#ttrpg design#vampire#monster girl#noir#neo-noir#neo noir#columbo#tabletop roleplaying#tabletop role playing game#tabletop games#roleplaying games#lgbt art#lgbtttrpg#lgbt ttrpg#lgbt creator
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