#I would do it on my computer but I Just Moved And Don't Have My Internet Set Up Yet
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kingkat12 · 3 days ago
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procrastination (roman godfrey x reader)
WARNINGS: FLUFF, biting, suggestive content, mentions of sex
summary: Roman knows exactly why you're up so late-- and now it's time to get you to admit it and go to bed
word count: 1,155
a/n: enjoy this oneshot i wrote at one a.m. yesterday to talk myself into going to sleep, and i hope it might work as efficiently for u as well<3333
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"You should go to bed,"
I turned away from my computer, staring back at Roman with an annoyed look in my eyes-- still, I was sure he would spot the heaviness of my lids instead, along with the way my lashes moved in slow strokes as I continued to battle sleep. "I can't. I have to finish this,"
"You don't have to do anything at all," he murmured, taking off his reading glasses as he put today's paper down in his lap-- I was glad he finally wore them after I had dragged him to the optician to get a prescription. "This is just yesterday's argument all over again."
I cocked a brow; "We're not arguing, though?"
"... You know what I mean,"
"We didn't exactly argue yesterday, either,"
Roman sighed, the yellow hues of a lamp nearby dipping into the golden brown of his hair. "Yeah, you're right," He placed the paper next to him on the couch, crossing his legs as he stared back at me. I wasn't sitting too far away as he had allowed me to use his home office today, and he was on the couch a little further away from the desk. I loved being in this room; it smelled like Roman. It looked like Roman. Everything from the minimalistic style of the interior to the whisky glasses scattered all around the room which he had forgotten to put coasters beneath. He continued; "We didn't argue, and I'm not going to argue with you now either. I'm simply saying that you don't have to get that stuff done right now."
"But--"
"It's not life or death, is it?" Roman shifted, uncrossing his legs as he moved to the edge of the couch. "How much work do you really think you can get done at one in the morning?"
I shrugged. Being put on the spot like this wasn't my favourite thing in the world. Realizing I had to get real with him to get my point across, I let my shoulders slump as I rolled the office chair an inch or two away from my previous spot near the desk. I had to do everything in my power to not start spinning around on it like I usually liked to do with chairs like these. "I don't want to sleep, though,"
Roman nodded, ready to attack the root of the problem; "Why?" he asked, voice soft and gentle. 
I wanted to shut down. Go quiet again and get back to work. Still, I had a feeling this was coming from genuine concern-- and when Roman Godfrey is concerned about your sleep schedule, you know something is off. "I've procrastinated all day," I mumbled, tapping my fingers against the table as I grew uncomfortable with the truth I had suppressed. "I'm procrastinating now. And if I don't make my mind busy with something, I will think about the fact that I haven't gotten anything done today."
Humming, Roman folded his arms over his chest as he listened. Had he not been my boyfriend, I could've mistaken him for my therapist. "You staying up any longer won't change that, though,"
"Yeah," I breathed, no longer meeting his gaze. "But at least I'm not rolling around in bed right now feeling guilty about it." My sentence ended with a sigh, and it didn't take long before I drove my elbows against the hard wood of the desk and buried my face in my hands. Just talking about sleeping made me further exhausted-- was this what he wanted to get out of this conversation? My next words were muffled against my palms; "You don't have to stay up with me, if that's what you're doing. You should get some sleep."
Roman remained quiet, nodding to himself as he kicked back on the couch and ended up in a casual manspread. He grabbed the paper beside him-- "I'll make myself busy with this crossword. By the time I'm done, I hope you've come to your senses,"
I peeked at him through my fingers, and I couldn't help the confusion coursing through my veins as I spotted him reaching for a pen. Was he actually going to do this? Roman Godfrey... doing a crossword puzzle? I must've opened a portal into an alternative universe with my whining. "Come to my senses about what?"
Roman shrugged, filling in his first word on the paper as he no longer met my gaze. "How much nicer it would be to roll around in bed with me instead of doing whatever it is you're doing on your computer,"
Oh. He had a point. I hated when he did that. "Doesn't sound like we'd be getting much sleep that way either,"
Roman chuckled softly, mostly to himself, and wrote down another vertical word across the puzzle. "Perv,"
"... Me?"
"Yes, you," He tsked, pulling his pen away to think about which word to go for next. "Rolling around in bed doesn't have necessarily to mean sex."
I cocked a brow-- "Roman, are you perhaps having a stroke? Everything usually means sex when you're the one talking,"
"Well, tonight I'm a new man," He smiled as he found the answer for a word going across, finally meeting my eyes as he finished filling in the empty slots. "What do you say about making out like we're sixteen and sexually repressed?"
I nearly choked on air. "That's specific,"
"I'm not denying that,"
"How is that different from just... making out like usual?"
Roman leaned his head against the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling as he thought out loud; "I think it'd just be messier. So uncoordinated that we'd constantly be knocking teeth,"
It was impossible not to laugh-- "You want to knock teeth, Roman?"
He turned his head to me, his green eyes meeting mine with the loveliest of smiles. "Fuck yeah. I'll even bite you if we get that far,"
"... Christ," With a giggle, I shut my laptop. "Fine! I'll go to bed, but only if you promise to keep your teeth far away from mine."
Roman sucked in a sharp breath as he got up to approach me. He spun the chair to make me face him, and he leaned down far enough for his hot breath to graze my cheek; "Actually, I'll bite you right now if you don't get out of my chair, young lady,"
Oh, I loved this mood of his. "Your chair?"
"Yes. My chair," His classic smirk made an appearance as his eyes darkened; "And my girl." 
It didn't take long before Roman scooped me up, hoisting me over his shoulder as I yelped. Still, I knew there was no fighting him. If I did, I'd get another one of those bite marks on my thighs that would linger for days, and I couldn't go through that again. To be frank, I planned to wear more short skirts going forward-- I was visiting his actual office tomorrow, and I planned to make my visit one he'd remember for longer than I had ever had a bite mark lingering on my skin.
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hollowed-theory-hall · 2 days ago
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Harry’s life at the Dursley makes me extra side when I remember he was a baby when he came to them. It makes me wonder when did he start sleeping in the cupboard?
And then I spiral and think about Harry calling Petunia mom when he is three years old. How did she raise him until he became a kid? And I think about him doing art during Mother and Father’s Day for his uncle and his aunt and them throwing it in the bin. Did he try to listen Petunia read a story to Dudley? Did he ever learn how to swim with school and he just never learnt?
And it makes me so, so sad.
It is. Everything about Harry's childhood breaks my heart. I already talked about it here and here.
We actually have a very depressing answer about the swimming lessons bit from GoF:
He wasn’t a very good swimmer; he’d never had much practice. Dudley had had lessons in his youth, but Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, no doubt hoping that Harry would drown one day, hadn’t bothered to give him any.
Which I take to mean he had maybe, like, two or three lessons for swimming at school and that's it.
As for the other stuff, I don't remember direct answers so you're going to hear my headcanons:
1. I think Harry never called Petunia "mom". When he was a baby he still could remember his mother and as he grew up he got used to calling her "Aunt Petunia" so he never called her mom except for maybe one time on accident when he was 3 or 4 which he was screamed at for: "I'm not you're mother, Freak!" and probably also slapped for.
2. I think when he was very very young, like, younger than 2-3 Petunia did put more effort in keeping him alive immediately after her sister's death and with Dumbledore's letter/threat fresh in her mind. But slowly she saw nothing happened and no one came when she treated Harry badly, so it emboldened the Duesleys.
I also think Harry started showing magic at a very young age, like 4-5, and when he did, Petunia and Vernon moved him to the cupboard and their treatment of him worsened even more.
After all, Petunia remembers her childhood with Lily who could do magic, she would recognize it for what it is — and she and Vernone are terrified of it. That's why the moment Harry showed signs of magic I believe they moved him to the cupboard to keep him away from Dudley.
3. The idea you brought up about little Harry making a family drawing of him with the Dursleys and Petunia scrunching her nose before throwing it in the bin in front of Harry's face.... shit, that's so sad and I'm sure it happened. I just imagine baby Harry's face, all proud of his drawing and not fully understanding the Dursleys yet with his cute nose and big green eyes and he would be so disappointed. I don't think he'd cry though. I think by that point he learned Vernon and Petunia don't like him crying.
4. I think the next year he drew himself with how he imagines his parents to be and he hides it from the Dursleys because Harry's a fast learner. I'm sure he spent nights dreaming about who his parents were from the very little information he got out of Petunia.
5. I can definitely see a young Harry crouching near Dudley's bedroom door as Petunia tells him a story. And then when she's done, he'd run away quickly so he won't be caught.
6. As a bit of a continuation of sneaking around to listen to bedtime stories, I think watching television at the Dursleys was similar. We know from canon Harry did use the time the Dursleys were away to watch television or play on Dudley's computer:
“You could just leave me here,” Harry put in hopefully (he’d be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley’s computer) .
(PS)
Though I don't think the Dursleys allowed him to do it, he just got good at sneaking around when they're not there. I'm saying that since Harry mentions Mrs. Figg lets him watch television:
She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she’d had it for several years.
(PS)
So it seems he wasn't usually allowed to watch television or play on Dudley's computer. I think the way Harry watches television when the Dursleys are home is by standing at the doorway and watching without them noticing (that's why he can't pick what to watch). I mean, we kinda see him doing it in OotP when he lays beneath the window to listen to the news on their television without them knowing.
Yeah, Harry's childhood was so depressing and I think the books actually portray him and how his childhood affected him well considering the books were limited in what they were allowed to show. I think the signs of trauma and abuse are clear if you look for them, even if they're not all called out in an obvious manner.
Writing this post just made me super sad now for Harry. My boy deserved so much better.
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abbysimsfun · 2 days ago
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Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 86 (Family Drama)
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The next evening, before Heather and Conrad left for their date, her youngest sister, Hazel, arrived in Brindleton Bay to watch her niece and nephew.
Ash excitedly called to her from the computer as soon as she walked in the door. "Aunt Hazel, Aunt Hazel, come check out my new game!"
"Thanks for driving out here so Conrad and I can have a night out," Heather said. "The security cameras are working and Conrad's getting the kids fed before we go, so just get them to bed at a decent hour and no horror movies."
"It's just food colouring," she protested, but with Heather's stern glance she nodded obediently. "Sorry, Ashy. No Moonlight Massacre tonight, after all."
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Heather changed the subject before Ash could complain. "I'm sad you won't be in town when we're in Henford this weekend to meet River and Cass' new baby boy. Dad says you don't call home enough."
Hazel laughed. "Dad tells me you don't call enough! None of us could ever call home enough. River still lives there and Dad probably thinks he doesn't get to see enough of him, either."
"Missing out on Dad guilt tripping us to visit for a political conference in San Myshuno's pretty cool, though. Ash, that's enough game time. Conrad's almost finished making your dinner."
Ash moaned, but he turned off the computer and headed for the kitchen as Hazel picked up her niece for a cuddle in her unicorn onesie. "I'm kind of glad to be out of Henford for the night to get in time with Ashy and Lava. Has that weird old dude been a problem lately?"
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Heather made sure Ash was out of earshot. "Not since the restraining order," she said, the relief on her face more than evident. "And you're stuck on those nicknames, huh? I thought nicknames were too corny for you."
"It's not my fault your kids are just as cool as volcanoes, big sis."
Heather grinned. Hazel, the baby of their family, could get away with anything and dripped charm to spare, but Heather could tell something was weighing on her mind. "Are you doing okay?"
Hazel took a deep breath, setting Lavender down before she moved to the sofa. "What made you realize you wanted to be single when we were in high school?"
Heather laughed. "It was just easier than having feelings. It's still easier than having feelings, but finding the right person is better. What's wrong?"
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She frowned. "What if Nicola and I got married too young? We're different people than we were as teens. When her dad died of a heart attack a few months ago, it felt like I wasn't married to the same person anymore. I know she's grieving, but what if we didn't wait long enough into young adulthood to figure it all out?"
Heather could empathize with her sister's confusion over love and relationships. Not too long ago, Heather would have found it unthinkable to offer her siblings, of all people, relationship advice, but Conrad had shown her what great love could be.
"You know I've never been very flirty or romantic, and I held on to my relationship with Malcolm too long because I didn't think I deserved any better. I'd never recommend it, but I also know Nicola's not Malcolm Landgraab. If you trust her, you can tell her the truth."
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Hazel nodded. "No, she's definitely not like Malcolm."
"If you're truly unhappy, don't force it because you think you're supposed to. But if you're asking me, I think it means there's still some fight in you to keep it together."
(Lovestruck's new relationship and chemistry features went after Hazel and her new wife, and I'm rolling with it to see what happens. I cheated their relationship back up a bit - as if what Heather said encouraged her to fight a little more - and we'll see how it goes with them.
The way I said that probably gave away what might happen but pfft you don't know!)
Grateful for her eldest sister's advice, Hazel turned her attention back to Lavender, while Heather joined Ash and Conrad in the kitchen.
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"Tomorrow night we'll pack some things into your backpack for your weekend at your dad's," Heather said to her son. "He'll pick you up after school on Friday and take you to his place for the weekend."
"He'll probably send their driver like usual," he shrugged. "But Ray's cool."
"What do you mean, 'like usual?'"
Ash looked at her with confusion etched on his face. "Daddy's reporting til seven on the news every weeknight, Mommy!"
Heather stared at Conrad, wide-eyed. "He told me he does those hits pre-recorded."
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"He always sends Ray, and Ray always takes me to get ice cream before we get to Daddy's penthouse. Why do you look pretend happy, Mommy? I love ice cream!"
"Your mom just hasn't met Ray, buddy."
"But Mommy, he's not a stranger. He's Ray!"
Heather plastered a smile, and Conrad reached under the table to caress her clenched fist. "I'll be at school on Friday afternoon when Ray's there to pick you up at three," she said. "If he's as nice as you say, I don't want him to be a stranger to me."
Ash smiled. "Okay, Mommy, that's a good a idea."
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Heather felt constantly undermined by the Landgraabs. But there was little she could say without disappointing her son, and she didn't want bitterness to affect her night with Conrad. ->
<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start
NOTE: Their date continues Monday but tomorrow there will be a bonus post inspired by @purplesimmer455! 👀
NOTE 2: Also noting, since this is an episode where nothing much seems to be happening, there are a few subtle hints in here, too, about how Conrad is on a pedestal, especially when Heather compares him to Malcolm, even though we all know he's keeping this massive secret from her, too.
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sunnyie-eve · 2 days ago
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32 | Oh Lord
Series: Unexpected
Paring: (Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!) (Chris Sturniolo x OFC Brock!)
Word Count: 1k
Warnings: none
| MASTERLIST |
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"Wait, wait, wait. The plan is for you three to be in the and cook us burgers for dinner?" Dani asks laying on Matt's bed as he sat at his desk.
"Yeah, Chris thought it was a good idea and help us save money from eating out." He spins around to face her.
"If something happens, I'm not helping."
"Don't worry, the smoke alarm won't go off." He laughs facing his computer again.
"Why would it even need to go off?" Her eyes widen so he just shrugs his shoulders. She gets off his bed going to Chris's room, "Whatever you guys do.... Don't try to make the smoke alarm go off."
"No, that is actually my worst fear doing this video." He tells her quickly agreeing with her, "I'm terrified about it might going off."
"Well then don't make it go off!"
"I'm gonna try not to!" He shouts back.
When the guys get back from the store Dani watches them set up, "I'm scared that all three of you are in the kitchen cooking. And following Chris's lead..." She makes a face.
"You have no faith in me. Watch, I'm going to make the best burgers ever and she's gonna take it back." Chris tells her and then his brothers.
"I'm scared of your way too. Dani might be right." Matt tells Chris.
"Dani just go to your room." Chris points his finger at her and Nick woo's, "Or hush." He adds.
"Can y'all just not make a big mess?" Dani asks them but Nick and Chris were bickering, "Matt, you know how I am about the kitchen. I hate when it's messy." Dani says so she looks over at Matt, "Are you ignoring me too?"
"No, I hear you." He lets her know before she leaves to get her phone.
When she comes back she sees what they were doing, "Guys, are you serious?" She asks them.
"This doesn't seem too smart." Chris looks at how they have it plugged in.
"Obviously!" She shouts at them as Nick shows the viewers how they have it set up.
Right as they start, Chris already dropped the meat on himself making Dani say she can't watch so she goes to her room. With the guys alone now, Chris plays around a lot since Dani can't tell him to stop.
"Stop." Matt tells him.
"Double 360."
"Dani would slap you." Matt laughs at him.
As more time passes it was Matt's turn to help out, "I want Dani." Matt whines as he messes with the meat getting tired of helping.
Both Chris and Nick laugh at him, "She always cooks so it's her day off in here." Nick tells him.
While the boys cooked and Dani was in her room she was texting Sam. They were making plans to hangout this upcoming weekend. She would go visit him while Colby was out of town with his girlfriend. She was just asking for a break from everything to relax.
"DANI COME TRY THIS!" She hears Matt yell for her.
When she comes out she sees Chris using a paper plate to fan the smoke away, "Oh, Lord."
"Just take a bite of this." Matt rushes over to her so she can take a bite of it so she does, "It's good, right?"
She nods her head going for another bite, "Not bad."
Sam: Yeah, I'll make sure your room is in perfect condition.
Back in her room she was packing a few things to take on her little trip to visit Sam to get away from everything.
"You moving out?" Chris laughs entering her room.
"No, I'm leaving in a couple of days to go hangout with Sam. A little vacation from here." She laughs.
"No Colby?"
"Nah, he's on a trip with his girlfriend." She tells him still fixing her bag.
"Have you even met his girlfriend?"
"Nope. Just know her name. His dating life isn't any of my business yet mine is all of his." She laughs.
"What dating life? You don't have one?" Chris laughs playing around with her.
"Exactly and it's his fault. He hates every guy I like or scares them away."
"And he doesn't 100% like you living with us as well." Chris adds.
"He likes y'all just not that I live with boys. He doesn't trust me... or Matt a bit."
"He trusts me? Does that mean he doesn't see me as a challenge?" He jokes.
"It's just we aren't as super close you know what I mean? Like Matt and I are. I can't explain it but you know?"
-
It's been about a week since Dani left and honestly the boys hated not having her home. As soon as it passed three days they felt like a piece was missing. Sometimes the boys would catch themselves either getting ready to shout for her or walk towards her room.
"Has Dani told you when she'll be back?" Chris asks Matt as they sit in the car so Matt nods his head, "I- I still don't understand why she chose you to be the closest to."
"K."
"I just mean... Nick is still right there. You know?" Chris tries to explain, "They got years vs our months. I just feel like... Like, y'all's connection is unfair." Chris keeps going as Matt just stares at him, "You two are just always attached at the hip and,"
Matt finally cuts in, "Are you gonna create a problem?"
"No."
"I don't force her to hangout with me. She comes to me because you or Nick are busy doing whatever." Matt explains to him.
"It's still unfair."
"How?" Matt asks confused.
"Just is."
"Oh well." Matt shrugs.
"I'm gonna ask her."
"What like on a date?" Matt asks.
"Why not? You think she'll say no?" Chris asks, "I gotta get some kind of information to see if she likes one of us." He adds as Matt didn't seem to care for the idea, "You hate the idea of it!"
"Go ahead." Matt tells him not believing he'll go through with it.
"Bet, I will."
"Okay." Matt nods his head, "How are you even gonna go about it?" He asks curious.
"I have no idea but I'm gonna prove that I'm not gonna chicken out of asking her."
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highlordofkrypton · 7 hours ago
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I'm super hyped for this game because I think about Modern AUs a lot for Tamlin? It's not normally my genre, but he just gets the muse flowing!
I have a couple variations of MODERN AU that I like for Tamlin! I guess they're more related to scenarios/fic ideas than Tamlin-specific headcanons, but I wanted to share anyway because I'm excited about them.
AMERICANA / HIGH SCHOOL TAMLIN: Tamlin comes from a long line of guy's guys. You know, the typical American dream. His father and his brothers were some kind of sports stars throughout their schooling, then went on to work for their father's company (which was passed down from his father, a lot of nepotism). All Tamlin wants is to take music class, join the school band and maybe take a poetry class because he really loves the arts, but he's build like a Ford F-150 so obviously, he has to be on the football team. Enter the rich kids (the IC). Everyone wants to be them, they're super popular and very cliquey. The leader of the group is the very stylish and spoiled Rhysand. This, my friends, is how we get a classic 90's high school romcom where it turns out both of them are more than what they seem, and they find honest little moments between them hidden away from the prying eyes of their classmates, their fathers and their expectations. Very soft AU.
In most of the Modern AUs, I imagine there's a lot of Tamlin forced to follow in his father's/brothers' footsteps which is always something he isn't passionate about, usually business (sometimes shady, sometimes not).
MERCENARY x RETURNING STUDENT AU / BL-INSPIRED: I don't know if this counts, but it's a self-indulgent headcanon (and fic that I'm writing for myself). It's more urban fantasy, but set in modern times. It's heavily inspired by my favourite BL manhwas. Tamlin's family died in an accident while Tamlin was in university, and shortly after his mother fell ill and into a coma. His father was rich, but dealt in shadier/criminal business, so when he died along with his would-be heirs, his rivals basically tore his company apart and now Tamlin is in a lot of debt. He worked for years to pay back as much as he can, and manage his mother's bills, but now he's in a place where he can go back to school (so he can get better jobs). Moving back into a small college town, he accidentally ends up being roommates with a mercenary-in-disguise (Johan, it's Johan) who initially wants nothing to do with him. Little by little, Johan notices the way Tamlin is struggling to exist, so he helps him out and more and more until they fall in love. In this AU, Tamlin was originally pushed to take business in school because of his father, but he was very passionate about folklore, specifically Fairy folklore (he grew up listening to his mother's stories). When he returns as an adult student, he's in computer science (for the comedy) and sucks at it, which gives room for his mercenary boyfriend to help him. It's very cute. I also love Tamlin being older than all the other students and just not keeping up with the trends.
Anyway, those are my thoughts! Long story short, my kink is writing scenarios/fics where Tamlin is absolutely adored!!!
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Welcome to our Tamlin Community game: Headcanons!
Every headcanons post, we'll drop a prompt asking you for your take on the prompt and our beloved Tamlin.
Fun fact: Did you know headcanons posts count as submissions during Tamlin Week? Headcanons are a great way to participate if you don't have time to create more time consuming submission and we love, love, love hearing all the different ways Tamlin is perceived!🤩
This is a space to share your adoration and your creativity, so don't be shy -- reblog or chat with fellow Tamlin enjoyers in the notes!
What are your MODERN AU Tamlin headcanons?
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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year ago
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 month ago
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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slyandthefamilybook · 5 months ago
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the internet was a mistake
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halfbit · 5 months ago
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fun guessing game you get to have with your family when you're mixed: was the shit they pulled racially motivated or not
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slippery-minghus · 6 months ago
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gods, why didn't i get a college degree in anything useful?
#i've known since the day it unceremoniously came in the mail that my degree is worth less than the paper it's printed on#yeah i needed to college experience for social and lersonal growth#but why couldn't i have gotten something out of it that can help me find a damn job?#what was the fucking point of going through all that?#(the social and personal growth obviously)#ahgggggg#i'm too broke and disabled to go back to school NOW#(the way i'm coping with the anxiety of waiting to hear back about the internal job i just interviewed for#is to have Officially Decided That I'll Be Rejected Out Of Hand. So What Do I Do Next?#it hurts but at least i can move forward if the worst come to pass#and it gives me something to do while i'm Waiting#ughhhhh#why couldn't i have sold my damn soul and gotten the shitty computer science degree my school had??#i remember visiting a house a friend was pet-sitting for and seeing the couple's gaming setup#and just seeing dollar signs. they both worked in computer science and made $$$#but at the time it sounded like the worst thing in the world#and i'd already changed my major once... loved what i was studying... and had my dad breathing down my neck about how much my education cost#i'm so lucky i don't have debt. thanks to my grampa. but holy hell did my dad lord that inheritance over me and make me dance for it#i don't think he ever got over grampa pulling *his* college funding bc he spent college fucking around and dropped out#couldn't wrap his head around that the narrow thing he'd trained me to be would never follow in his 'rebelious' footsteps#i beat myself up over A-'s there was no way i'd do anything other than take my grades seriously#but that was the problem. i was worried about grades and what sounded bearable to learn. not what was realistic to do with it#i wanted to get a fucking phd! with what fucking money!!!!#of course not that i had the support or the maturity to understand what it meant to choose an education that could grant me a career#but who can i blame if not myself?#dad always said i had to Go To College. there was no choice in not going. but as soon as college came he shoved me out the door#and slammed shut. how was i supposed to know what to do without him there to make me do things all of a sudden?#that took nearly a decade to learn dammit#personal
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confetti-critter · 8 months ago
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The night is young and I am free to do whatever my heart desires but unfortunately I have once again found myself trapped in the Time Prison and so I
#the good old 'I don't feel like doing anything including doing nothing and I want to go to bed but I know I'm not tired'#WEH.#I'm enjoying typing but I don't want to commit to practicing typing for real so I'm just making excuses to type more#I was looking at custom ESC keycaps because I was thinking about that whole community of ppl obsessed with keyboards and like I get it I#like the clicky clacking and keyboards can look so pretty but some of those key caps man wtf.#why would you want 3D transparent donald duck ESC key from temu what is wrong with you#saw a set of key caps that were little kittys with little kitty ears n I was like fuuuuuuuuuck#49.00 USD probably 100000 CAD+shipping goto helllll#I was thinking about what if I had like confetti keycaps and a custom kittycake esc key or like an actual little cake and matching desk mat#or even just a new cute mousepad cuz mine is old as fuck and I spilled vegetable cream stew on it once#and then I was thinking like sighhh and wouldn't it be cool to have arcade carpet on the stairs leading down to my basement hovel and#rainbow lights along the ceiling corners and what if I painting my bedroom like I wanted to do and sighhhhh#I haven't been wasting my money buying shit like that but I'm thinking about it again.#but the same thing stopping me from doing anything at all is stopping me from wasting my money which like that's good I guess???????#gosh I really like typing why did I stop doing daily typing practice#oh yea The Thing Stopping Me From Doing Anything At All#meow meowm meow meow meow#ok I really gotta tear myself away from my computer and brush my teethses and try going to bed#I already played minecraft earlier it's fine I didn't do NOTHING tonight it just feels like I did#and tomorrow is another day#and next week is a short work week thank fucking christ almighty#literally cuz its easter sunday and he was in that tomb but he escaped or whatever he did#thanks jeezy boy#you maybe shoulda milked it for like half a week at least#moved the big ass boulder like have an inch at a time#*pause for laughter*#that s from my new stand up comedy routine do uiuop like it djfskll;askjdgflksjdflksajdflksjdf the dsjalkjfolidasfgjoiweljsdalkjflskdjflak#meowww#I am the only one I know on here who 'talks' this fucking much about absolutely nothing#I do all this and my poor followers can click read more and spend time reading alllllll this garbage
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dylawas-reblogs · 9 months ago
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me: yeah so we haven't had a meeting about it yet, but I asked my coworkers about past interns and why they left; chances are they won't hire me full time at my internship immediately. However, the chances of having it extended are pretty good, and I like what I'm doing, and they're going to be talking about budget in July. Sure my finances are a little tight but--
my sperm donor (only slightly exaggerated): look for a new job immediately and tell them if they won't hire you full time you're leaving. and no, I don't care if you don't find something in your industry and you have to settle for a job that will make you hate being alive even more than you already do. Also I'm going to ignore how long it took you to find this internship to begin with
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#dylawa rambles#dylawa rants#this man gives zero fucks about actually seeing me go into what I fucking trained to do he just wants me to make him money#i am literally sick to my stomach right now thinking about job hunting again#'i want to see you successful and happy' okay why are you still charging me rent then#why are you making job hunting even more of a traumatic experience than it already is#literally said to him 'I don't trust my chances of finding a new job within two months' and his response: 'oh well go work customer service#it took me MONTHS to find just this internship and it's a miracle it's paid at all#it's in a nice office with nice people and i have my own computer and they feed me almost daily!#i'll live another six months in this hellhole if it means I get a guaranteed post-internship job like this#is it the ideal job? absolutely the hell not#the commute sucks i don't have work from home so i can't get away with doing other shit on the side#i feel limited in what the role requires of me vs what I'd like to make#but good fuck it's better than food service or retail#but nooooo he needs me to be his little rent cash cow without him feeling guilty about it#very tempted to bail even if it means I start eating through my savings a little bit#I don't know if I can go through the daily interrogations of 'did you apply? why aren't you hearing back? it's your fault' again#i have somewhere to go but I'm trying to keep it very 'last resort' territory#A) it would make my current work commute twice as long#B) it would require completely burning bridges with my old man bc I'd have to move out in secret#not just because i don't want him to know where the people who are sheltering me live#but also because if he saw that place even if he was willingly letting me move out he'd say 'absolutely not'#because I don't trust him not to do something weird. not necessarily DANGEROUS but. weird.#I want to burn all bridges someday!#but even now that I own my car it's still not the safest course of action#I'm so sick of being stuck dawg!#dylawa vents
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icharchivist · 1 year ago
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for the record, sorry i’m not ignoring my asks rn but my brain is really not computing atm (rough day, very hard time thinking clearly) so i prefer to answer the asks once i’m in a better brain situation
just to make sure that if i reblog a few things the people i’m leaving on read know i’m going to get to those a little later o7 thank you for your understanding
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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#ok. so the guy from school i visited emailed me today like: good news! we unanimously voted to extend u an offer here#so expect the formal offer in the next week. and im like uuuugh i wanna say yes so bad#bc in the us i would have more flexibility in the program than i would in the uk#and my options in the us r either to b a big fish in a small pond at this schoolor a little fish in a big pond at the other#bc this school is underfunded and a bit isolated out in the mountains but the staff r pretty great and big egos dont seem like a big issue#but if i go to the other school its like a big well funded school. the application was like 75 dollars. fuck u and really annoying#and i mean id have to live in new jersey. so in the city with city driving and prob a more high pressure school environment#and more of a chance of dealing with big egos. but like career wise im sure it would b good. assuming i don't mentally collapse#but i mean that doesnt seem as fun as spending 5 years out in the rocky mountains#like thry have fucking moose and bears! there were deer and turkeys in town!#and my dad just sent me a video of all the spring peepers singing back home and im like 😭 bc froggies and he was like i bet u could find#frogs out in [redacted city] and im like 😭 ur right. it just seems like the better choice for my poor overtaxed brain and the project is#so cool too. i want to get the cyano species as my computer background asap. and the guy is nice and apparently super supportive#and i could probably walk to hiking trails. god. i mean i have to say yes to that. i wanna say yes so bad. send me the formal offer bro#ill fucking take it before i even hear back from the other schools lol. ugh. i hate making choices#oof i am so excited to kno where im going and plan my departure. its gonna b such a pain moving tho i pray that my mum or dad can drive#with me bc otherwise the 20hr drive by myself might kill me. thats almost as bad as my initial move out here lol. the us is so big#ugh. again choices. is this the right choice? probably one of the biggest decisions of my life. the project feels so right. cyanobacteria#my algal group of choice. and hot springs. how tf do u say to no to that? i mean. id b doing that in new jersey too but with red algae#ugh. put me out of this misery lol. also as an aside. shout out to my fucking disaster brain for not being able to focus on a single thing#my boss in a meeting: so glad to have students and staff so excited to b working on this project!! me: lady i hate that im on this project#bc im just sitting in until they can get an actual student. i just do what im told but appreciate the enthusiasm lol#ay. im so tired. i wanna see the snow and mountains. and fix my head. and get outta the desert. and listen to frogs 🐸 😌#unrelated
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damnprecious · 2 years ago
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I got my flat pretty much set up after the move and now I'm exhausted, can I sleep for a thousand years
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alltimefail · 3 months ago
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I literally can't focus on a single task I have gotten nothing productive done in days and my brain just will not cooperate I am losing my goddamn mind!!! I need a distraction desperately but can't seem to find one that sticks!!!
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