#I worry that it just might be boring
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I tell you what though I am a bit self-conscious about this chapter. Since it's- well a kind of denouement of this (part of) the arc. But unlike other denouements it's not very actiony and just...talky :D and lots of unpacking or trying very hard not to unpack.
Hopefully it works out though. Publish goal is Aug 1st tho it'll likely be the end of the first week of August at this rate. writing is hard y'all
#am writing#never shall we die#and at least they're interesting but#I worry that it just might be boring#or pretentious#or a million other things#and I can't help but think#that october is looming#and so the end of all things#but I will finish this goddamned story come hell or high water
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Is this anything? (also poll below)
Quick shitpost I had time for and also doodles based on a picture I'll add below.
Soooo. That poll I mentioned about the comic. I'm putting it in this post. I would appreciate all feedback from those of you that are interested in the Rasha comic and its future.
Basically like I mentioned in another post, I'm currently overworked at uni and making next parts for the comic will be difficult with the amount of things I have to prepare to pass the semester (meaning it will take me ages to get it done). That's why I want to know what you guys would prefer.
This is a random picture I found that I showed to my brother and he said I should remake it with Rasha.
#the last option in the poll is uh#yeah lately ive been thinking that what im doing is pointless#i have no idea what im doing and im worried im boring people with my random rasha bullshit#i mean its fun because i really love her#its more just me worrying wheter people want to see it or not#yeah im kind of rambling a lot on this post sorry#a lot on my head at the moment#and also this week has been atrocious so that might be influencing me#and the way i look at my work#tes#the elder scrolls#morrowind#dagoth ur#voryn dagoth#nerevar#indoril nerevar#nerevarine#tes oc#rashaposting#digital art#muscariart
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I wasn't sure which version i liked so have bothhhhh woahh
#the adventure zone balance#taako#taako adventurezone#taz balance#taz#the adventure zone#taz fanart#my art#fanart#im on a balance relisten because listening to music while shelf reading got boring#also listening to steeple chase dont worry#anyway struggled figuring out anything for my taako design#ik its not especially unique but i do not care#have to say im really loving lining lately started using the pens from a set i bought ages ago actually and they're very good#might be posting some just lineart stuff soon#teehee
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occasionally get hit by how much I love saga and casey’s relationship. casey being a part of the family, saga investigating on her own to find casey, them supporting each other even in the questionable reality around them, telling each other jokes the entire time, being in sync with their little coffee drinks. love them
#obviously they’re not without any challenges (that’d also be. boring) with casey hiding his sickness and sagas insecurity at being#a bad partner and friend. their worry the other might be targeted by the story and is caught up in everything#but their bond is so strong and refreshing#I just watched a horror movie with the typical asshole husband who doesn’t believe and support his wife#and my god it is a relief for saga and casey to actually agree something’s supernatural when nightingale first attacks#and have them communicate and be kind when talking to each other about believes#esp with saga being relatively (minus the Anderson bros etc.) alone in knowing Logan is alive and her life is what she remembers#alan wake 2#im CONSTANTLY a little sad that it’s not. guaranteed we’ll see them together again#at the very least I need saga in the next control game 😭 remedy PLS she’d get along with so many characters
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the thing abt josh and donna is that it’s actually much more interesting if they were best friends first before anything started happening between them
#unpopular opinion perhaps. but i think people agree their friendship is the base#donna might have a crush i think they can even have mutual understanding that the other person is attractive#but i just like. find it boring if we’re watching seven years of pining conscious or not#there needs to be time for them to be friends without worrying about the rest of it#ted talks#the west wing#donna moss#josh lyman
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hm.
#if you find yourself worried that growing in faith will remove parts of your personality becayde you might suddenly lose interest in#what makes you you#thats something you really have to like Investigate. deep down. because in the end even if you change a bit you will be Better. l#like you will be where God wants you to be#the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked etc#like i GET IT but also . growing in faith doesnt make you a Totally Different Person it doesnt take away all your interests#maybe it changes how you interact with them and the importance you place on them but like#me being more spiritually mature than i was a year ago doesn't mean that im not interested in poetry anymore or i dont like all the media#im invested in anymore#EVEN when i felt called to stop listening to secular music#i was like oh well ill just be boring now#no girl theres worlds out there of good music by christian artists you just gotta find it#anyways. this is rambly#i cant really make this concise#but really like. sometimes you gotta reconsider your priorities#God created you as you are WITH your personaliyy#sure we were born in sin etc but your personality being sanctified does not mean that you will lose it#yk#anyways#reminds me of this story abt a guy asking an older brother about if he should be listening to secular music#and the brother was like . ok well first off answer me this#if God told you to only listen to ska music for the rest of your life would you listen#and the guy was like ?? what??? no???#and the brother was like well then you still place your preferences higher than Gods#kind of silly and i do still think theres nuance in the music thing#but like. Yk. The Basic Idea
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Butch affirmation I guess that my straight and very conforming baby brother keeps wanting to borrow my clothes:')
#he called me several times when i didnt pick up due to socializing so o got worried something might have happened but no he just desperately#needed to know asap of he could borrow my old jacket :')#its really sweet tho#and ultimate proof i dress like just some boring guy#butch#musings
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why does jill need rescuing so many times in ff16 omg. game came out in 2023 and its only significant female lead is treated like princess fucking peach
#blahs#ff16 lb#i guess there's also mid who i think might be a better character than jill is. she's not THE CO-LEAD though#now u might argue the co-lead is joshua. which like sure. but it's like a katara and zuko situation where they're both kinda co-leads#except instead of getting the amount of depth and agency her position in the plot should get her jill is just. there.#she gets one very brief little 'arc' that does little to actually add layers of complexity to her and occasionally she gets captured#what kills me is the game doesn't even do a good job of capitalising on this#we should at least be using this to get some angst and turmoil for clive. instead bro's like don't worry guys she's fine#why is he so calm!!!! at least give me some drama in exchange for the misogyny!!!!#everyone in this game is too emotionally mature it makes it boring. that's why i like mid! she's emotionally constipated!#anyway. this got away from me. the point is i need to airlift jill out of this game
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wip wednesday: trying to solve my narrative issues by spending a fuckton of time mapping them out
#purple are scenes. red are themes. blue are… don’t worry about blue it was just for me to track some motifs#a nice way to visualize which scenes are actually worth finishing & which ones might need to get scrapped if i can’t find the juice#procrastination takes many forms!#this is a true wip unlike most of my other wip wednesdays. Peeling back the curtains here.#welcome to my twisted mind#this will not be my only post of the day bc it is a little lackluster lmao#i am afraid to finish writing it because then i will have written it and it will be finished if that makes sense#then i will have said everything i wanted to say about ice & mav and i will have nothing left to say#actually… ive already written all that. what isn’t written is all the connective tissue ‘character moves from A to B’ stuff#boring stuff#I’ve already written everything i wanted to say about ice and mav. that’s a little terrifying.#it’s all in this document.
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#whenever I scroll through like Twitter or Bluesky or tumblr I see a lot of people making stuff with their oc#or like yume stuff with their fave characters and it makes me go like ''oh I'd love to do that too''#but then I remember that Gilgamesh would never like look towards me because I visually don't appeal to his tastes#nor my like character wouldn't pick up his interest because I'm a boring loser and a coward and sometimes it really puts me down#and yeah I know it's stupid but I just can't help myself😅#and I know that some of you might come to me and say words of support and I would appreciate them#but I'm writing this not to pity party myself but to just lift this weight out of my chest#and I have a friend of mine and we know each other since the childhood like we went to the same kindergarten#and I remember her always being determined and ahe always stood up for herself and was never afraid to voice her opinions#and I always admired her for that because because I always stayed quiet during the arguments or try to avoid them completely#or whenever someone was bullying me I always just burst into tears and just ran away#and I sometimes hate myself for being weak but I just can't do anything about it#and recently this friend she went into military and even though I worry about her and support her#I just can't help myself and not feel envious (in a good way) because of her bravery and determination to make that choice#and just throw her into this challenge despite all of her worries doubts and consequences that she might face#like I can't even call a dentist to make an appointment without being anxious#while she's ready to throw herself into the pits of hell despite fear and everything#like my friend is like that perfect image of a person that Gilgamesh would look upon with admiration and some respect#and I wish I could be like that too#I wish I could be the person which Gil would praise rather than look upon like on a piece of trash...#anyway sorry for ranting and thank you for reading if you did#these thoughts have been eating me for quite awhile and I wanted to voice them at least somewhere#personal
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i know every companion has like the other outfit for their companion quest but i’ve never seen lucanis’ and now i have to do it .
#i think ive seen neve??? but i havent finished my playthrough for hers yet so i havent seen it myself#i know ive seen bellaras and emmrichs and hardings .#i did taash and davrin on my own but yeah he is like the only one i havent seen at all…. which worries me. not because of the choice but#because it might just be boring.#nat.txt
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people i know are going to parties or events tonight and im gonna be listening to rent and rewatching dazed and confused . what a fucking loser
#might sneak in another rent rewatch teeheeee#tbh . im OKAY with the fact my life is for the most part boring and uneventful cuz#i can just. be myself#i dont have to worry about how to dress for parties or how to behave cuz#im just listening to rent LMFAOOOOO
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youtube
The edited down version of Part 4 of the Mass Effect 1 playthrough is now up!
Part 4 covers finishing up the crime boss sidequest, Shutting down a rouge VI on the moon, helping Wrex and Garrus, and then going to Noveria to help Lorik Qui'in so we can confront Benezia.
#Mass Effect#Mass Effect 1#Video#My videos#Let's Play#I forgot what my other tags are for these videos#I am getting into a headspace where I am very worried people might find these dull#Mostly because again I am thinking of just HOW GOOD the 2nd game is#and I desperately hope people will stick with me so we can get there#The first game is great but it's very weak compared to its sequels#and I am concerned people might just have gotten bored or lost interest#when we haven't even gotten to The Good Stuff yet#and I keep thinking people who see my Shakarian art are probably like#''wait... is this IT???''#and it's like ''NO IT ISN'T''#'THIS IS JUST FOREPLAY!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD IT GETS I SWEAR!!!'#Youtube
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hiii!! i love your fics for both fandoms, especially love the way you write relationships!!; don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but do you have any tips for writing cedjeschris? i’m… trying something out…
Oh!!!! Im happy you enjoy my fics that means a lot, thank you so much 😭🛐
As for tips for writing cedjesschris, I guess I can try typing out the general things I myself keep in mind while writing! 👀
For one, Cédric is very much a "actions speak louder than words" type of person! He's the guy who rented out an entite shopping district because Eva and Christelle wanted to take Jesse out shopping but couldn't due to the complicated nature as a foreign prince and diplomatic hostage! He's also the type of person that logically knows that, as a hostage, Jesse technically isn't supposed to be keeping gifts but because Jesse is his friend, Ced lies and tells him "your assigned imperial vaults are too full" just so he can keep the girls' presents :') Cédric is a stoic and socially inept guy but he is an INCREDIBLY good guy deep down,not to mention a man of duty, filial to his parents+godmother, and considerate of his friends. He's also childish, so not making him an emotionless robot is good to keep in mind because that guy is actually the most emotional out of the trio when you think about it xDD
For Christelle, she might be the easiest to write 🤔 She's a very positive and energetic person, and is the type of gal that you'd easily get along with, with her emotional intelligence being one of her strongest fortes that makes up in her high EQ for where Ced is lacking :') <3 Being able to seamlessly incorporate pop culture references to fit her sense of humour and her context as a modern day Korean woman of the 21st century is also p important to keep in mind (which is hilarious, because no one else but her (and Jesse but she doesnt know he knows—particularly at the start of the novel) understands, so in-universe people just sort accept that she says all these wild nonsensical modern things and goes along with her 😂) She cares a lot for Jesse and sees him as a precious friend that she needs to grow stronger to protect (such is her instincts as a Holy Knight) and while she does fight a lot with Cédric, they both have a relationship of mutual respect and acknowledgment, no matter how much they bite or grab at each other's hair while sparring. ((One other key aspect about her character tho is Ham Ga-in's underlying worry that the original Christelle might one day come back to claim her rightful place, so Ga-in is actually very cautious and careful about her life sometimes, because she can never be too sure whether or not "the original Christelle will like [so and so decision that Ga-in makes]". For example, Chris keeps her hair long despite preferring short hair/easy to maintain hair, because it's not Ham Ga-in's hair, but og!Christelle's. She feels like she is "borrowing"/"has stolen" someone's body, so Christelle does her best to give her body a good life and make good decisions, so that if og!Christelle comes back, she will be happy since Ga-in took care of her life well. Ham Ga-in is actually a very complicated and complex character underneath her happy, simple, and cheerful exterior 😭)))
And finally Jesse!!! Surprisingly, he might be the hardest to write, because I feel that it's very easy for people (myself included haha!!) to fall into the trap of portraying him as a completely pure, good, and innocent person (i lose several years off my life whenever I see someone describe him as a Gary Sue too btw). Jung Yeseo is just as much of a modern-day man as Christelle, and while he's definitely way softer in temperament and can be dense, he also doesn't hesitate to privately insult and drag people through the mud in his head 😂 He's surprisingly very snarky (especially towards Cédric)! He just holds himself back because of his position as "Prince Jesse" so he can't act as casual and childish as he typically would xDD And he is definitely not a doormat—I think it's important to mention that Jung Yeseo was a law student, so that sort of gives context as to what kind of person he is. He is righteous in his own sense and can be hard-headed, and rather than being all-forgiving, he is capable of punishing and being stern when called for—a good balance on the scale of justice, shall we say (think of his reaction to Synkie and Peter! They tried to assassinate him so he acknowledges they should be justly punished, but he is also aware of the fact that they are children, and well, we all know that Jesse has a soft spot for children and animals due to his nature as a kind and caring older brother.) Jung Yeseo is a very good person and his kindness and gentle nature plays a big part in his personality, but he's so much more nuanced than his saintly image. Empress Fred even once said his stubbornness to win arguments reminded her of her husband! xD Yeseo is very smart, and while he has a better grip on his emotions than Cédric, he is dense in a comedic way (especially towards sexual advances + in terms of self-awareness) and can be awkward, but it's always enjoyable when people portray him with his snarkiness and subtle sharpness!
As for their dynamic as a whole, it's nice to remember that, while all three of them are adults above their mid-20s (Christelle is physically 19 but mentally in her 30s) they are also pretty childish for their age. It helps that the genre is lighthearted than other webnovels where each chara seems to be riddled with angst. CedJessChris' dynamic feels like three friends who have finally be set loose upon meeting each other, after a long life of hardships and shackles! They cause chaos and trouble, and feel very realistic in their friendship with the way they bond and have heart to hearts. Jesse is usually the mediator for CedChris' frenemies rivalry, but Cédric can also play the role of the only sane person when ChrisJess are up to their plotting shenanigans. And when CedJess fight, we can always count on Chris to be the one to set them straight, as well. They have a very balanced relationship!
I feel like I'm starting to go off way too long now LMFAOOJFJDKLD but yeah!!!!! A lot of what I've said are some of things that I try to keep in mind while writing, so I hope you might find them useful in any way, as well!! 😭👌 I'm curious about that something you say you're trying out 👀👀
#twsb#twsk asks#cedjesschris#asks#CJC are very complex charas so theres way more i can say about them haha#im worried i might end up writjng a bore so just this for now hahahhadkkjd
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wasting a whole week by sleeping is making me want to cry
#the parasite talks#i'm still able to do my work in a hurry but my godddddddd#this is getting so sad#i know my friends love me but i feel like such a burden and such a bore when im always like this#please i just need my 30°C spring and horrible solar rays#i still cant wake up before 12pm on those days but i am awake more at night at least#rn i will have to force staying awake#maybe energy drinks might help idk anymore#coffee doesnt really help but maybe the caffeine in those might jumpstart me#i just need to get my horrible life in order again and stop thinking how easier it will be to just kill myself#i know spring might not fix me but at least it will be a big help not having these cold temperatures (which arent really cold anyways)#but i hate anything below 25°C#i feel like that scen where will graham is crying and shaking before hving the seizure that's me but i dont have a seizure and i dont...#...look pretty im just depressed#and i am the only one who has to take my sorry ass out of this#and i know the big amount of priviledge i have to just be depressed and sleeping for a whole week in my bed without a worry and just feelin#miserable for myself and i wont be a danger to myself do it's just a spoiled brat's shit
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I always say I'm cursed as a joke but LITERALLY I was the only one in my family who inherited "the gift" from my mothers side. Spoiler alert, the gift is NOT a gift, instead its sometimes hearing a bunch of dead people yell at me and wake me up from sleep 😐
#im very aware that the gift might just be mental illness lol#but the stories abt my grandma and great grandma (mental illness aside) are truly supernatural or whatever u wanna call it#and kinda cool tbh! if i inherited it i truly inherited the most lame parts abt it bc the dead ppl i see and hear#never have anything cool to say 😐#altough !!! someone did say there was gold burried on a green land somewhere#and when i asked my mom abt it it turns out there are family rumours of burried money bc ppl did that during the war idk#but like. ok what am i supposed to do with that info 🙄 start digging on random plots of land that are.... green ?#yeah ok.#so in summary the family curse is boring and unnecessary and ive got other shit to worry abt#diary entries
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