#I wonder who they end up with yanno

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

Shall we talk about Arthur

A military man that got a hit off some 220 current

He weighed his words before the next line. Ah, an untrained eye would never know he wanted to say it with a little grace. I allowed for it.

He said it was the best two weeks of lovemaking he ever had. Now, I flinched at that phrasing. I kinda despise when men say they made love. They don't.

But, this is an old hand so I ignored it.

I asked why he didn't tap himself again with a big shock. His explanation was that he thought it almost killed him the first time

*yanno reaches hand up*

I was down and needed help he said.

[concoulor]

ok one more post about it, how did people get so convinced roman is going to have sex with anyone anyway? are people actually convinced or is it just a joke. actual sex or fuck as in kill? it’s possible for a very interesting exploration of homoerotic behavior in alt right spaces w mencken but the more i think about it the less i think anything will actually happen beyond continuing their rancid-flirtatious dynamic & that being used for commentary/satire on the alt right etc.

[cmdrfupa]

Dating toji was the best decision you’d made in the last few months. Slow pace, genuine connection and a hot man who looks like he eats bricks for lunch. Operation: First Overnight Stay is underway. And apparently so is the first snow storm of the season.

cn: Toji. Toji being hot. Toji being himself (he’s soft yanno).

The snow started much earlier that you expected, the kind of lazy, drifting flakes that almost whispered promises of an impending storm. You hadn’t thought much of it at first, snow wasn’t known for sticking around you so you figured it’d be gone by morning.

By the time the sun dipped below the horizon, however, the snow was coming down in thick sheets. And while the news app on your phone should’ve been buzzing with a winter storm advisory it was hushed while iMessage, Instagram, discord and the few noti’s on from tumbler had top priority.

“Where the hell is this man?” You glanced out the window, streetlights emanating their soft golden glow over the accumulating snow. It was peaceful ­ quiet in a way you didn’t often get to experience in the city. But tonight was not suppose to be about quiet. It was suppose to be your first over night with Toji staying at your place. A sleepover date if you will. Or what you loved to start calling Toji Time.

You’d spent the entirety of the afternoon nervously preparing from tidying up your bedroom, lighting a couple of your good candles in the living room, and even debating whether to pull out the joy cons to beat his ass in a few games.

It wasn’t feeling like just another date. You invited the man over to your house, it was the start of something more consistent. And now with a heavy snow fall, you couldn’t help but wonder if anything about the evening ahead would go anything like you planned.

A sharp knock broke your thoughts and you hurried to open the door. Toji stood there leaning casually against the doorframe with grocery bags in one hand and a duffel bag slung over his other shoulder.

Snow dusted his hair and the shoulders of his coat. He gave that usual cocky smirk that was always firmly in place.

“You weren’t gonna let me freeze out there, were ya?” he asked, leaning in to plant a small kiss on the top of your head.

“You’re late.” you moved out of the way and he stepped inside.” “And whats with the groceries?”

“Storms coming.” he replied, sitting the bags down before shaking his jacket off. “The roads were already looking dicey so I took my time. And I figured you’d forget to stock up.”

You stared at him, incredulous. “You knew there was a storm coming?”

He raised and eyebrow, reaching into one of the bags and pulling out a roast. “You didn’t?”

Of course you didn’t. Why would you check the weather when your plans for the evening involved nothing more than a quiet dinner and, maybe, the two of you falling asleep on the couch after watching the first half of the third Lethal Weapon movie.

But now, as you watched him unpack bread, popcorn, fresh veggies, pasta, snacks that could feed 20 and even a twelve-pack of beer. It started to dawn on you that tonight was in fact not going to go as planned.

“So you planned on getting snowed in here?” you crossed your arms then made your way across the room.

Amused, Toji shot you a look. “Got a better idea? Roads are a mess already and the storm part is about to really kick. And besides,” he added, a grinch like grin spreading across his face. “This doesn’t feel like a complaint but more like a subtle nod of approval.”

With a sigh, you resisted the urge to throw something at him before cracking a smile. “You will have duties.

“Of course.”

“You’ll have to cook if it ends up being more than a day or so. And clean your pee off the seat.”

Toji came up to you and wrapped his arm around your waist. “I’m no slob. Piss belongs in the bowl and I lift the seat. Have some faith in the man you’re dating.”

“Uh huh..” you squinted at him. “Treat my home like a pig sty and you're sleeping out in that ball freezing cold, Fushiguro.” your finger felt like it hit a brick wall as you poked his chest.

He chuckled, low and rumbling, as he leaned in to kiss your cheek. “Whatever you say, ma’am.”

You both settled into the evening. Date night not going exactly as planned but made the best of it despite passing out only an hour into the second Lethal Weapon movie.

As the night stretched on and the snowstorm did indeed worsen with each passing hour, the atmosphere was all that you hoped.

It felt less empty, more warm and far more cozy. You began to wonder if being snowed in together might not be the worst thing after all.

______

The smell of coffee, the sound of some gruff voice singing and the lack of heat stirred you from your deep sleep om day two.

“I thought I turned the heat on last night.” The grogginess in your voice was a simple whisper as you rolled out of bed and grabbed the nearest long sleeve you could find. With a little more effort, you shuffled out of your bedroom and towards the source of your shortened sleep.

There was something making your stomach feel fluttery as you walked towards the kitchen. The closer you got, the clearer the sound of Chris Cornell’s voice became as your view became clearer: Your heat was on but the personal heater that had been keeping you warm was now shirtless in your kitchen flipping a piece of french toast.

So casual, maybe a little too comfortable with his sweatpants sitting right below his waist. His shoulders broad and slightly flexing even with as small of a movement as plating french toast then dipping another piece before.

Equal parts irritation and attraction.

“Not polite to stare, babydoll.”

You straightened up as if he could see you even with his back turned. “I didn’t know you got up this early.”

Toji turned 45 degrees, giving you just a peek at the full breakfast he’d almost finished cooking. “Not a fan of staying in bed long. At least my stomach isn't a fan” He smiled and nodded towards the coffee pot on the counter closest to you. “I remember you saying you liked that bustelo cafe stuff. I hope its strong enough.”

“You didn’t have to,” You shuffled over to the machine, seeing that a mug was already sitting out. “And the mug I use. Thank you, Toji.”

“Of course. Thought I’d at least feed you good if I’m going to be in your space for a couple days. Though,” Toji flipped the french toast over then turned to you ‘ If you want to pay me back, you can via those little crispy shits you brought to me that one day.”

You sucked in your lips, trying your best not to laugh as you poured your creamer in. “The little crispy shits are called palmiers. And I got you.”

“Palmiers. Crispy shits. Whatever, they are delicious. You know how to make a man ache and yearn with those things.” he winked before turning back, taking out the final piece of toast and plating it.

“Need any help?” you tried peeking around him to see the rest of what he had plated and he moved his shoulders to hide it.

“Aht. Sit.” Toji blocked your view but you didn’t miss his grin as he did. “I’m almost done. Just tell me how you like your eggs and we’ll be ready to eat.”

You watched him almost expertly crack the eggs open as he cooked them to your liking. Then you watched how his weight shifted from one hip to the other as he leaned against the counter.

There was something about just how his pants were sitting that made you feel a rush of heat across your neck. This man was built. A true dad bod with a slight pudge that sat atop his waist band. Stocky and plenty to climb. “Are you not cold just wearing pants?”

He sat the plate in front of you then sat his across from you. “I’m honestly a little warm. From the cooking probably.”

Toji went to pour himself some coffee, sipping the black drink and humming as he shuffled back to the table. “You were like a heater last night. Will definitely be needing that heated cuddle again tonight.”

You began to cut into your french toast, taking a bite and closing your eyes as the cinnamon and vanilla flavors mingled on your tongue. You heard Toji snicker and it brought you back. “What?”

He turned his smile downward and shook his head as he took a bite of his fried egg then bacon. “Just sounds like you enjoyed sleeping with me.” He chewed and kept his eye contact. “I enjoyed sleeping next to you also.”

You hadn’t even had sex together and this man made you feel like he had you twisted up like a pretzel last night. You cleared your throat and tried to ignore the tingly feeling that crept up your spine as you stuffed your mouth of the toast and a piece of bacon to avoid saying anything.

He began to make light conversation. Passive thoughts on the holiday market he wants to visit with you and the guys at his gym who he knocked out first round when sparring. “So now he’s probably going to try and get me banned but jokes on him, Shiu has been my guy for decades.”

The trail your eyes let from his pecs back to his face was embarrassing. Another forkful of toast and sip of coffee to hopefully keep him from saying literally anything.

“Glad to see you enjoying my cooking. My pleasure to fuel you for the day ahead.” Toji winked knowing you were practically paralyzed from his teasing. “I’ll take care of dishes pretty. Just go get warm.”

The bastard.

-----—————-

As midday rolled around, Toji opted to nap it out on the couch, which left you attempting to do the same with no success. You’d been lounging around all morning post breakfast with Toji. Cuddling and talking which left him tired but you feeling restless. So you took to old faithful pinterest, set on finding some soup ideas to surprise man the same way he did you this morning.

“Kathiew..” a cambodian beef noodle soup “Hmm.. beef bones, oxtail bones, five spice, doot doot dooooo.’ you quickly browsed over the rest of the list. “I actually have all these things?” you got up and went to your freezer, pulling out the meats then to your fridge to pull out the vegetables not looking at the spices as you knew you had them.

“Well shit. I do have everything.” You wasted no time prepping your ingredients. Cleaning the bones, charring the vegetables and getting everything on a low boil as you added your five spice, rock sugar other flavors to the large pot.

You weren’t use to cooking so much, it was just you and had been you for quite awhile, unless you were cooking for your coworkers. And this recipe was honestly a bit of a larger bite than your usual pinterest picks, but it felt well worth it. You were taking this whole dating thing seriously and he had an appetite.

“Maybe it is the way to the heart.” You teased yourself at the stride of cooking for a man you’d been dating for almost 5 months and the furthest you’d gone was twirling your tongue around each others like two teenagers. But you liked taking it this slow. It’s how you liked your fics and it was proving to be a great for your own love life.

The soup would take almost all day so you decided on an easy baking venture of palmiers and a small banana bread loaf.

Mid cookie forming and the sound of a bears yawn caught your ear. “Babydoll? You get tired of me and drift off into the snow?” his grog laced voice sent a warm trickle down your back as he shuffled into the kitchen. He took you in starting with the sway of your hips then your eyes as you peered over your shoulder to him.

“In here making your little crispy shits.” you picked up another small piece of dough, rolling it into the palm leaf shape and placed it on the cookie sheet.

“Oooo. And you’ve got them a little larger. They look good.”

“Mhm.”

Toji wrapped an arm around your waist and gently pushed into you as he placed a small kiss at the crown of your head. “And whatever you’re cooking smells absolutely delicious. You’ve been busy, girl.”

You shook your head and smiled. “You’ve also been asleep for 5 hours. Needed to occupy my time with something so I tried out a new recipe. A beef noodle soup called Kathiew. Looks very promising.”

The atmosphere should have been perfect, cozy and intimate, but his offhand remark shattered the fragile balance as you went to place the first batch of palmiers in the oven.

“Didn’t realize this snowstorm was an excuse to play house,” he said, his tone teasing but his words sharp enough to sting. “Top contender with doing all this.”

You froze mid-step, turning to look at him. His expression was unreadable, but the comment landed squarely on a nerve you hadn’t realized was exposed. The evening was supposed to be special, a milestone in your relationship. Instead, it felt like he was brushing it off as something trivial.

“If that’s how you see it,” you said, your voice quieter than usual, “then why are you even here?”

Toji’s smirk faltered, replaced by a flicker of confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, straightening up slightly. “You’re the one making a big deal out of nothing.”

“Nothing?” you echoed, incredulous. You placed the sheet you were holding onto the table with more force than necessary, the clatter cutting through the silence. “Do you know how much I thought about you staying over here? How much I wanted this to be a nice next step in whatever this is to you?”

“And it is nice. More than,” he said, his tone edging toward defensiveness. “You’re getting worked up over a joke. I didn’t mean anything by it. Just relax.”

“That’s the problem,” you shot back, crossing your arms. “You never mean anything by it. So what am I supposed to think? That you just show up because you’ve got nothing better to do or you didn’t want to be snowed in all alone and pitiful? To play house with a woman.”

His jaw tightened, and for a moment, neither of you said anything. The weight of your words hung in the air, heavy and unyielding. You could see the gears turning in his head, the way his fingers flexed as though he was trying to figure out what to say. But Toji wasn’t someone who dealt in words; he dealt in actions. And actions, you realized, weren’t enough for you right now.

You looked at him for a moment as you cleaned off your hands. “I need a few minutes to myself.” you mumble before walking past him, leaving him at a loss of what to say and do.

“Shit. Babe wait,” he didn’t reach for you, instead following close behind as you walked hastily to your bedroom. “That isn’t.. just wait.”

“I need time alone. Please.” you quickly closed the bedroom door in his face and tried to make sense of what exactly made you respond this way. Top contender? Was he just playing you? Feeding you all this nonsense on being so into you only to play house?

“Fuck fuck.” Toji stared at the door for a moment, unsure how he was suppose to recover from this. He knew he fucked up big. “Top contender? There isn’t even another one, the fuck was I saying?” He whispered to himself, heavy hands dragging down his face as he took a step back, sliding down the wall until he sat on the floor.

It’s quiet in the apartment, save for the soft hum of the heater and the occasional whistle of the wind outside After what felt like an eternity, Toji let out a slow breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Look,” he started, his voice quieter now, less defensive. “I’m not good at this stuff, alright? But if I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be here. You think I’m buying groceries for everybody? Cooking breakfast for just any woman? You are literally the only contender, the one contender I want and need.”

The unexpected vulnerability in his words caught you off guard. For all his bravado and sarcasm, this was Toji’s way of admitting something deeper, even if he couldn’t say it outright.

“You’re serious?” you asked, your voice softening.

He gave you a look, part exasperation, part something else—something gentler, as if you could see him through the door.. “Do I look like the kind of guy who’d stick around in a storm if I wasn’t?”

You let out a small laugh despite yourself, shaking your head. “I just... I don’t want to feel like I’m the only one trying, you know?”

Toji’s expression shifted, his usual cocky smirk replaced by something more genuine. He stood up and moved closer to the door. “You’re not,” he said simply. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

The words weren’t grand or poetic, but coming from him, they meant more than anything else he could have said. You nodded, the knot in your chest loosening as you realized he was trying—in his own way, he was trying. You slowly opened the door and looked up to see the softened gaze in his eyes.

Your lips twitched into a reluctant smile, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly as you stepped into the hallway and poked his chest. “I really need to know that this isn’t some for fun thing once we have sex or im some temp girlfriend for you.”

Shaking his head, Toji took your hand and led you to the couch, sitting you down before sitting right next to you. “Honesty hour time. Ready?”

“Are you wanting to be that honest?”

The earnest look in his eyes gave you your answer.

With a deep sigh, he sat up and spoke slowly. “You’re my first real thing in a long time. Like long long time.” Toji squeezed your hand as he tried to work his way through his thoughts. “You know how in movies and shit when they say that their person makes them feel comfortable and like home?”

Your lips twitched into a reluctant smile, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly. ‘You’re calling me your person.”

“You didn’t know that?” He grabbed your other hand, sitting on the edge of the couch to look directly in your eyes. “I might be shit at this type of thing, But you are mine. You quite literally cussed out that lady who tried scamming me out of 300 bucks.”

“Toji. Thats just a random Tuesday for me.”

He laughed out loud while holding your face with his, that look of adornment filling his green eyes as he saw the warmth and genuine care he had for you flood his mind. “You being you is why I adore you in every way. I apologize for my words. They were fucked up and you didn’t deserve that.”

“We are both learning and figuring it out. You just have to be real and open with me.”

“I’m willing and ready. I promise.” toji leaned in to kiss your forehead and lingers for a moment before pulling back only a few inches.

“You are going to give me a headache. I swear.” You beamed as he helped you stand up and let you lead him to the kitchen.”

“Maybe. But It’ll mean I’m always on your mind.”

“Holy shit, Fushiguro, you’re actually unbearable.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The storm outside has finally started to ease, but the world beyond the windows is still blanketed in thick, untouched snow. The apartment felt warm and lived-in after three days together, an unspoken rhythm forming between the two of you.

You’re in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as Toji scrapes batter into a pan to make pancakes. He’s shirtless again because why wouldn’t he be and moving with the casual confidence of someone who’s been here a hundred times before.

“I’ve gotta admit,” you speak up, watching as he expertly flips a pancake. ‘You really are the poster boy for domesticating a man.

He smirks, glancing over his shoulder at you. “Don’t get used to it. This is a special occasion.”

“Oh, being snowed in with me is a special occasion now?”

“Damn right it is,” he says without missing a beat.

You laugh, shaking your head as you grab plates from the cabinet. There’s an ease to the conversation now, a closeness that wasn’t quite there three days ago but formed after last nights conversations. As Toji finishes the pancakes, he nudges you gently out of the way to grab syrup, his hand briefly resting on your hip before he moves past.

“You’re in my kitchen,” you tease, setting the plates down on the small table.

“I’m making the food, aren’t I?” he shoots back, but there’s no real edge to it.

The two of you settle in to eat, the conversation drifting between teasing banter and quiet moments of shared warmth. Toji, as usual, eats like he hasn’t seen food in days, and you can’t help but laugh at the sight.

“You’re really making yourself at home, huh?” you say, resting your chin in your hand as you watch him.

He pauses, his fork halfway to his mouth, and gives you a look. “What, you want me to leave?”

You roll your eyes. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

There’s a beat of silence before he leans back in his chair, his expression shifting slightly. He’s still got that casual confidence, but there’s something softer in the way he looks at you now.

“I was thinking,” he starts, scratching the back of his neck like he’s trying to find the right words.

“Dangerous,” you quip, earning a small smirk from him.

“Funny,” he says dryly before continuing. “I was thinking... this hasn’t been so bad. You know, us being stuck here.”

You raise an eyebrow, playing along. “Oh? High praise coming from you.”

“So,” he said casually, “what are we calling this?”

You paused mid-bite, looking up at him. “Calling what?”

“This,” he said, gesturing vaguely between the two of you. “Us. You’ve got me snowed in, wearing your apron, cooking breakfast… Feels like I should be getting some kind of title out of this.”

You raised an eyebrow, setting your fork down. “Are you asking me to define the relationship, Toji?”

He shrugged, but there was a faint hint of color on his cheeks. “I’m just saying, if I’m sticking around, I might as well make it official. Save myself the headache of wondering if some guy’s gonna swoop in while I’m not looking.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the way he danced around the subject, his usual bravado masking a vulnerability he didn’t quite know how to express. “So you want to be exclusive?” you asked, a small smile tugging at your lips.

He leaned forward then, his green eyes locking onto yours. “What I want is to make sure you know I’m serious about this. About you. So tell me what we are. And I am so locked in with you.”

The sincerity in his voice took you by surprise, and for a moment, you just stared at him, your heart swelling with warmth. Then, unable to resist, you reached across the table and laced your fingers through his.

“Okay,” you said softly. “We’re exclusive.”

A slow grin spread across his face, and he gave your hand a light squeeze. “Good. Now eat your pancakes before they get cold.”

“You can warm them and me up then.”

“You’re impossible,” he mutters, but there’s a warmth to his tone that softens the words.

“And yet, you’re still here,” you tease, your smile softening.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide your smile as you picked up your fork. The two of you ate in comfortable silence, the snowstorm outside nothing more than a memory. And as you sat there, sharing a meal and stealing glances at each other, you realized this—this feeling of warmth and belonging—was exactly what you’d been hoping for all along.

The snowstorm may have brought you together, but this—this closeness, this warmth—is what’s keeping you here.

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey angels! I’m still on break but I wanted to show you guys how powerful the law is, and how it’s in effect with everything even when we don’t notice!

Here’s everything I’ve manifested in this year alone !

🌸70,000$ in school scholarships. My tuition does not even cost that much so most of it will be coming back to my credit card shortly

🌸an older sister. I’m the oldest child in my household, and as any older sibling knows it’s so hard. You have to lead, yet have no one to look up to for advice yourself. Anyways my dad got in touch with his old wife, and my mom who was once reluctant to let my half siblings in my life, now encouraged it! My older half sister is literally just like me. We now FaceTime, she defends me when I’m scared, she buys me stuff all the time because she has hella money, and I go to her apartment for sleep overs. I am very lucky and happy to finally have the older sister I’ve always wanted.

🌸an old friendship! I remember in 2020 I was friends with this girl and we were both super depressed, had similar circumstances, and were into manifesting+astrology. I’m sure she’s one my twin flame, and the friendship ended over the dumbest thing ever. Anyways for a year I used dumb methods like the 333 method, sp methods to get her to text me, stuff like that. I ended up giving up but earlier this year I was thinking about her, yanno just wondering where she is. She sent me a heart felt apology the next day. I manifested her without even trying!

🌸All As in school without trying.

🌸losing weight the more I eat. Y’all I’m 5’5 and 112 pounds, yet I eat like an Olympic gold medalists. I don’t even eat healthy and knowing myself.. well that’s something that’s not going to change lol. Anytime I would eat a lot, I would just say the more I eat, the more I lose and the healthier I am…and I never gained a single pound. Only lost! Don’t worry I’m still healthy and my doctors say I’m in a healthy range still, so as long as that continues healthily I’m fine.

🌸my family winning the lottery through the void state. I won’t say specific numbers but it’s in the 7 figure range, and was my first void success! I’m going to keep manifesting and exploring the void to have more stuff in the future!

🌸(dumb) but clearing my name in the unique situation. i remember just affirming the truth always comes out and she got exposed a few hours later. aside from the hate from her anons, I left the situation unscathed for the most part 😮‍💨

🌸not having seasonal depression this year. I did not manifest my depression or anxiety away for personal reasons, before anyone starts! But due to the combination of manifesting and just having a better overall life, it honestly did not affect me much this year.

🌸getting results from subliminals without even listening to them. I left my subliminal era a couple of years ago, and I don’t really use them anymore. But sometimes I come across a really cool one with dope benefits, and I want to use it bc.. why not lol. But I don’t really like listening to them, so I just wrote down that I can listen to it once and after that my brain memorizes the sequence and it works it out repeatedly even when it’s not playing and I’ve definitely noticed results.

🌸manifesting my best friend’s cancer away! I already made a post about this, but this was my favorite manifestation of this year.

🌸every single one of my shifts

🌸so many free things!

🌸and so much more, but these are my favorites!

[tteokdoroki]

✩࿐TRACK 02: ONOFFONOFF. eijirou kirishima (2K)

about. by day, kirishima fights crime to keep everyone he loves safe. by night, you’re fighting to keep your relationship alive, even while everything else is crumbling to pieces.

warnings. minors, ageless and ageless blogs do not interact! suggestive, angst, hurt-comfort, hopeful/open ending, toxic relationships, dry humping, civillain + fem!reader, pro hero!kirishima.

things to note. happy saturday homies, i hope you enjoy this second instalment !! i adore writing angst pieces so it was nice to go back to that, enjoy mwah ! <3 - masterlist / series masterlist / playlist ✩

how could anyone ever hate eijirou kirishima. 

by day, he’s everybody’s favourite pro hero. though number five on the ranks, red riot has a comforting charm that dazzles the public. fear dissipates almost instantly whenever he was on the scene, as if there was never anything to be afraid of in the first place. he is calm while he works, caring. holding crying babies to his plush chest as he breaks through burning buildings, pulling dazed strangers out of the way of speeding cars, taking out criminals with brute force and bright banter. 

he’s wonderful with kids as well, which by extension, makes kirishima popular with the parents — often using their starry eyed little ones for a chance to get close to the bulky hero. of course, your boyfriend doesn’t realise. he doesn’t take note of the lingering touches during touching family photos with him, numbers slipped into his hero costume or how people lean against kirishima desperate for a messy signature to be scrawled across inappropriate parts of their bodies. 

eijirou is too nice to say no, to set boundaries. he’s warm and friendly — the perfect aura of sunshine. in some ways, you can understand the way the world almost revolves around him. why all the people and their planets make him the centre of the universe. after all, it’s part of the reason you ended up dating him. 

but the press adore him too, they really do. their beloved red riot is always willing to stop for interviews even when he’s busted and beaten, they love the way he leans down (all 6’5 of him) to hear the reporters better. they eat up the way he blushes and bumbles humbly whenever he’s asked about the status of his relationship. to which he answers “i wouldn’t say there’s anyone in particular that’s in the picture right now…” while sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, accidentally showing off his bulging muscles and firm chest. 

how could you ever hate eijirou kirishima. 

by night, he’s supposed to be yours and only yours. but you can smell floral perfumes on his collarbones from fans that get too close and you can feel the distance grow between you like an invisible barrier.

you hate that kirishima lies about your relationship to the public just as a ‘precaution’ when it’s clearly a ploy from eijirou’s marketing team to keep him the lovable, single, himbo hero. you hate that it makes you want to push him away. 

it’s not just you and him in this partnership. it’s you, eijirou and the whole world that eagerly watches his every move — and it’s starting to make you feel like a third wheel, like less of a priority, like more of an accessory.

you don’t know when loving eijirou kirishima becomes difficult and starts to feel like a chore — in your mind, you’re under appreciated. he comes home from work, sleeps, and leaves before the sun rises without giving you an ounce of attention (aside from the money dropped into your bank account as an apology). the dates that you plan become less frequent too, or when they do happen, kirishima leaves halfway through with a lopsided sorrowful grin. 

“the world isn’t gonna save itself, yanno. someone’s got to be on the scene.”

you fill the void in your heart with your work, spending time with friends who don’t offer the same comfort as your long-term partner and lazing about the house. but being alone gives you the space to begin resenting kirishima, giving into the toxic comparisons of your relationship against that of others — todoroki and his girlfriend are getting married soon, why aren’t you and eiji?

it’s not like you haven’t brought this up before, over quiet dinners interjected with snide remarks — it only ever leads to screaming matches that end with your throat raw and kirishima slamming doors so loud that the house shakes. but brought back together by the toxic cycle of love, you end up back in his bed and he ends up back inside you — taking root in your ribcage right where your heart lies, the thorns on his roses piercing the beating muscle. 

you cough up perfumed petals like you would blood, kirishima leaving fatal wounds on the inside  of your chest cavity. 

it doesn’t stop the way you so brokenly make love, tearing one another apart and piecing you back together like patchwork. 

“careful.” your boyfriend mumbles through swollen lips as they press against your own. he lets your tongue slide into his hot mouth, your noses pressed up against each other — breath ragged. 

your hands reach for eijirou’s shirt to tear through it. each of your movements are calculated to replace what traces from others linger on him. you pull, bite and scratch at golden skin that is already littered with scars from his battles. those where he protected the country he loved, the people who loved him. “slowly…” kirishima ushers, you gently, tilting his head back when you tug on the black roots of his hair to gain access to his neck.

“d-darling, what’s the hurry?”

you love him so much that you think you might hate him even more. he’s so perfect, he doesn’t colour outside of the lines, he touches you like you’re a house made of cards even though his fingertips set your entire body on fire.

blood rushes through your ears, carrying a heat that blossoms in your lower tummy and intoxicates kirishima as you kiss him again — teeth sinking into his lower lip until it bleeds. 

“c-can we talk?” kirishima stutters out as your tongue glides under his earlobe next and your hips slot against his perfectly, grinding down into his hardening cock. “w-what’s going on? fuck,” he curses, hips bucking up instinctively. “what’s going on with you?” 

“nothing.” stop talking.

“darlin’, you’re being a little rough…” shut up.

“you usually like that.” you utter breathlessly, switching sides to leave marks on the unmarred portions of his neck. 

this time, however, the red head grips your hips a little tighter — halting your movements and pushing you back so he can get a better look at your face. “baby, let’s just—“ 

“what, kirishima?” finally, you snap — glaring at him long and hard. “what could you possibly have to say now? that you can’t fuck me tonight because you’re too busy working? cause you’re busy thinking of bending over that pretty, ditzy little reporter from work today ‘cause she’s a little more tolerable than me? what is it eijirou?” you punctuate each of his words with a jab to his muscular shoulder, though the man is sturdy enough not to feel it. 

you’ve had this fight before, dozens of times and on more occasions than you can count on both hands. eijirou either tunes out to play innocent or he snaps  back with all teeth bared and fangs on display.

“you’re being unfair.” is all he says, tone dull and lifeless just like it’s been before. it’s like he’s given up on the two of you, not that you’d blame him. there’s no more fight left in the two of you for your love, only fuelled by the anger and resentment  you feel towards  each other. 

“what next? bet you’ll think i’m being unreasonable.” 

“you are being unreasonable.”

“oh i’m sorry, is that a problem for you? am i inconveniencing you, riot?” 

“come on, what’s with the attitude?” 

“excuse me?” 

kirishima exhales shakily, letting go of your hips to pinch the bridge of his nose. his ruby eyes shoot everywhere but you, he can’t even stand to look at you when arguments like this come up. those eyes of his, they carry too much shake and guilt.  “you always get like this. when i come home and i just want to be close to you and you get all…aggressive.” he spits out harshly, like the words are poison on his tongue, like he can’t stand to see what your love has soured into. “angry like you want to hurt me when i’m trying to love you.”

you scoff, rolling your own jewelled eyes. “love me? don’t make me laugh, eijirou. you don’t know the first thing about loving anyone except for you and your job.” 

“will you at least fucking explain what i did tonight, ‘cause i’d love to know what’s got you so bitter, sweetheart?” hurt echoes in his timbre voice. you wish that you could tell him, but you flounder for words and react with rage instead — how can you tell the man you wanted forever with that you hate the hero he’s become? 

“fuck you, red!” you stand, retaliating instead of communicating your needs properly. “fuck you, mister red ‘righteous’ riot, mister eijirou ‘incapable of doing wrong’ kirishima.” 

kirishima’s face crumples but he follows suit, standing, but he doesn’t make a move to come closer. “what’s your fucking problem? what did i do?” 

“the blame is never on you, is it?” 

“well i’d like to know why it should be! if you’d just—“

“it’s like you have no sense of accountability—“

“i’m trying—“ 

“—like honestly, fuck you, eijirou.” 

“you’re not letting me talk!” the redhead damn near screams, the base in his voice shaking your house, bouncing off the walls. he sounds drained, pained and no amount of medication can fix it. you’ve blackened his heart with scorch marks and danced amongst the flames and now you’re finally seeing that it’s not just you who this relationship is crushing. 

each word you spit kirishima cuts him into the shape you want him to be, wounding him deeper than any battle scar. 

“and you’re not letting me fucking breathe!” you shout back rather than listening to logic. it’s a low blow, you’re highly aware — a reference back to the early days of your relationship when kirishima overcompensated his absence for affection. he thought you’d worked through it. you liked to throw it back in his face when you were mad. you’re stubborn, you always have been, but for some reason you want to hit kirishima where it hurts. you want to cut him up into the perfect shape, until he feels exactly how you feel. 

when he finally makes a move, you become aware of his sheer size for the first time that night. eijirou would never hurt you, he couldn’t harm a fly even if he wanted to but that doesn’t mean you’re not scared of his presence. kirishima touches every corner of the room, his anger flooding through it and pushing you under so that you’re drowning in your own mistakes and his too. 

“you’re suffocating me too,” he mumbles, voice just above a whisper and you relax into his arms. “i’m trying so hard to be the man that you want me to be. you take so much, you want even more. you want a house and you want kids and i want to give you that too but you make it so hard. when you hurt me like this.” he’s being honest, the truth scratching at his throat as the pro-hero vocalises what you’ve failed to communicate for months. you’ve been selfish and he’s been avoidant, the pair of you only hurting one another, carving cuts so deep the wounds won’t heal and the blood won’t stop pouring unless either of you do something. and fast. 

“where do we go from here?” you don’t even realise that you’re crying until your boyfriend swipes the pad of his thumb underneath your eyes, leaving no time for the salty droplet to hit your skin. 

your teary gaze is tied to his as kirishima’s ruby eyes glisten under the moonlight. “i don’t know.” he hesitates. “i don’t want you to leave me. you need me.”

you whimper and curl up against his chest. “i don’t want that either.” 

kirishima wraps his arms around you like a safety blanket, shielding you from the ugly truth of your own relationship. it’s always on and off with the two of you, but this time you’re determined to make it work — you hope that he is too. 

“we have to work on this, on us.” he says firmly, but he squeezes you close as if you might disappear — holds you as if you’re a flower that might wilt if it’s touched. “none of this on and off, we…we gotta talk to each other from now on. yeah?” 

“yeah,” for the first time in months, you sink into kirishima’s touch — accept his rough edges and hardened shell, and turn your pain into a promise. “we will.” 

a promise to keep dancing together like it’s the first time even when the world around yourself and eijirou kirishima is burning.

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[hananoami]

Hi hi I have a question I’ve never played an otome game before l&d and I was wondering how they usually end with resolving the story between the multiple love interests also I see your post about Caleb being added do you have a guess on how many more love interests we are getting? Thanks for answering!

Hi hi @kindlerofstars! Welcome to the world of otomes games, hehe~

As far as I know all of the character storylines are separated. Meaning their individual plots should not affect any of the other love interest's storyline. You can see this message at the bottom of the "Who You Want To Meet" section when selecting a LI.

This is probably to avoid discord within the community and also a way to prevent boycotts from those die hard individual stans (they can be kinda wild, yanno?).

From what we've learned from the Opposing Visions Live Stream back in July we're also expected to see Main Story Branches start from September to December. Right now the Main Story doesn't really have on any romantic scenes between MC and the guys. However, these separate branches will serve as a way to focus on a romantic route with your love interest of choice, or whatever is available on release.

Unlike your traditional otome game where there is an End Game we probably wont be seeing that any time soon in Love and Deepspace. This is to ensure the longevity of the gacha game. After all it is a business at the end of the day.

As for Caleb there have been so many subtle hints that we will be seeing him again, and most likely as another love interest. I'm not here to stir up drama nor do I want any part of it, but whether you like or dislike him you cannot deny the fact that:

He has his own Text Message/Moments/Call history in MC's phone.

The devs even said in their Q&A back in January that he's waiting to meet us again in future updates...🥺🥺🥺 I'll attach the screenshot below.

To be honest I think Caleb will be the last love interest they will add for a while. I also saw the theory floating around of there potentially being up to 6 love interest, but that's way too far into the future for me to make any kind of speculation.

[dragonflylady77]

The Birthday Wish

I decided on Wednesday afternoon to write a fic for Billy's birthday (on the Friday). Just pretend it's still 29 March, okay?

Gift for @spaceofentropy

You can find it on ao3

TW Neil Hargrove, child abuse

Steve drove up to the quarry, slowing right down when he noticed there was already a car there. A very familiar blue car.

“Fuck!” His evening was shit enough, having had to endure three hours of the Party as well as Jonathan and Nancy being all cozy on the couch at the Byers’ house for Will’s birthday, he didn’t fancy a confrontation with Billy Hargrove on top of that.

It was too late though, Hargrove would have noticed his car by now, for sure, and Steve knew he’d never hear the end of it if he turned tail now.

He parked alongside the Camaro and turned his engine off. He glanced to his left and did a double take when he noticed Hargrove was sitting on the hood of his car, a thin looking blanket on his lap. The guy was holding something but it was too dark, even with the nearly full moon, for Steve to see what it was.

Steve grabbed his parka from the backseat and put it on once he got out of his car.

“Am I dreaming or is that you, Harrington?” Hargrove asked as Steve did his zipper up.

It was cold as balls, barely above freezing. “Yeah, it’s me, don’t cream your pants,” he muttered under his breath, not expecting Hargrove to hear him but then he started laughing and Steve stared.

He couldn’t remember ever hearing Billy Hargrove laugh before. It was surprisingly heartwarming and Steve wished he could see his face properly. He stepped closer to the Camaro and peered at Billy. He had a can of beer between his thighs and was holding a cupcake.

Huh.

“You’re just in time, pretty boy,” Billy said, pulling his pack of cigarettes out of the pocket of his denim jacket, followed by his Zippo and a… birthday candle.

“In time for what?” Steve asked, confused as fuck. He didn’t even react to the pet name, he was kinda used to it. Truth be told, he hadn’t heard it for a while, since he wasn’t at school anymore, and he kinda missed it, not that he’d ever admit that to anyone.

“‘m turning eighteen in a few minutes,” Billy said around the cigarette between his lips. The flame of his lighter illuminated his face for a couple of seconds, long enough for Steve to see the black eye and the dried blood on his cheek.

“The fuck happened to you, Hargrove?”

Billy shrugged. “Neil didn’t take too kindly to Maxine reminding him it was my birthday. He expressed his displeasure before I dropped her off for her sleepover at the Byers’.”

“Excuse me, but what the fuck?”

“Don’t worry about it, princess. I’m just glad he gave me time to pack a bag before he kicked me out.”

“Kicked you out? On your birthday? Again, what the fuck?” Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Well, yanno, I’m eighteen now, legally an adult, so I have to fend for myself or some such,” Billy said, checking the time on his watch and pressing the sad looking candle into the frosting of his blue cupcake.

Steve watched him light the candle, his heart in his throat as he connected some dots. What kind of parent kicked their kid out the day they turned eighteen? What kind of monster beat up their kid because it was their birthday? Holy��shit .

Billy made eye contact with Steve before he closed his eyes for a moment and blew out his birthday candle.

“What d’you wish for?”

Billy grinned before he removed the candle and put it back in his pocket. “Can’t tell you, Stevie, or it won’t come true.”

“Happy birthday, Billy.”

“Thanks.” Billy ripped the cupcake in two and offered one of the halves to Steve, who took it with a nod. 

Steve looked at it then back at Billy.

“It’s not poisoned, in case you’re wondering,” Billy said before he moved off the center of the hood and patted the space beside him. “Come sit with me, I promise I won’t bite.”

Holding his half cupcake, Steve sat on the edge of the Camaro’s hood before sliding closer to Billy. The metal was still a bit warm and it made Steve feel something he didn’t care to analyze.

“What are you gonna do?” Steve asked as he took a bite. The frosting was really sweet, and the cupcake vanilla flavored.

Billy shrugged again. “Sleep in my car, I guess, shower at school, or something, I dunno. Neil didn’t find the money I’ve been saving but it’s not enough for a motel, not to last until graduation, anyway.”

“Billy, it’s way too cold to be sleeping in your car. You’ll freeze to death!”

“Cute that you think anyone will care, Harrington.” Billy laughed and this time, it made Steve shiver. Unlike before, there was no happiness in that laugh. “Not sure you’ve noticed but literally no one gives a fuck about me. No one at school. Certainly no one at the house on Cherry Lane.”

“Max cares,” Steve countered. You care , a voice in his mind added but he shushed it.

“She only cares because I’m her ride to places and it saves her having to walk everywhere. I have zero illusions about where I stand.” Billy balled up the paper case of his cupcake and threw it into the bushes.

“Surely—” Steve was sure Billy was wrong about Max.

“Nah, pretty boy. It’s fine. Don’t worry your pretty head about it. Just promise me, when they find me dead in a ditch, make up some good stories about me at my funeral, okay?” His empty beer can went the way of the cupcake case.

“That’s not funny.”

“Like I said, not your problem,” Billy said, an edge in his voice that Steve was wary of. “You should head home before your parents wonder what happened to you.”

Steve snorted. “My parents are somewhere in Europe, and they don’t give a fuck.”

“Aww Stevie, I’m sure that’s not true.”

“They showed up on Christmas Day and told me I had six months to sort myself out because they were putting the house on the market on July 1. I’m lucky my mom talked my dad out of cutting me off when I didn’t get into college.”

“Ouch.” Billy winced. “What are you gonna do?”

Steve shrugged. Working at Family Video was all well and good but it wasn’t really a long term plan. “Saving most of my shitty wages until I have to leave, then, I don’t know. Indy, maybe. Or Chicago, I guess.”

“You need to think bigger, princess. There’s a whole world out there. Where’s somewhere you’ve always wanted to go? What’s on your list?”

Steve took a moment to really think about it, watching his breath make little clouds of steam every time he exhaled. His ass was getting cold as well, sitting on the cooling metal. Billy’s blanket looked even thinner up close than it had earlier. It was time to move this party somewhere else.

“Hey, don’t feel like you have to say yes, or anything, but you wanna come back to my house? It’ll be warmer than here. I’ll even make us some food if you want.”

Billy didn’t punch his lights out or say no outright, so Steve counted that as a win. Billy gave him a confused look.

“Didn’t you have dinner at that weird kid’s birthday party? I saw your car there.”

“Yeah, well, sitting across from my ex and her new boyfriend kinda killed my appetite. I’m starving.”

“I didn’t realize you could cook, Stevie,” Billy said, taking one last drag of his cigarette before pressing the butt of it to the underside of his boot and dropping it in the dirt.

“My parents have been taking progressively longer trips ever since I was twelve, so I had to learn. There’s only so many frozen pizzas and boxed mac and cheese a guy can eat before he craves real food.”

***

Billy followed Steve to Loch Nora and parked his Camaro next to the bimmer in the Harringtons’ vast garage. He wasn’t too sure what was happening, but the promise of warmth, food and company definitely beat sleeping in his car at the quarry with the shitty blanket he’d sneaked out of Cherry Lane. 

He left his boots by the door in the foyer and spent a moment taking in what he could see of his former teammate’s house. The Harringtons lived on the other end of the spectrum when it came to income bracket, no doubt about it. For starters, they had an upstairs and what looked like a formal lounge and, oh yeah, was that a freaking pool ?

“Billy?” Steve called out and Billy startled.

“Yeah?” he replied, wandering towards the voice and the light. The kitchen was bigger than his bedroom at Neil’s house, with a double oven and too many cupboards to count.

“Hey, there you are,” Steve looked up at him from the freezer. “You okay with gnocchi?”

“Um, I guess. Never had them.”

Steve smiled at him and Billy felt something warm unfurl in his chest. He was having trouble remembering why this crush he’d been harboring on Steve was a bad idea, what with the way Steve was finally giving the attention he’d been craving since the first day.

He sat on the bar stool by the breakfast bench and watched as Steve put a big pot of water on the stove. Steve kept telling Billy what he was doing as he was doing it, explaining it was a recipe he’d found in a cookbook his parents had brought back from one of their trips.

The butter and sage smelled delicious and Billy couldn’t wait to try this dish. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had taken the time to cook for him. Susan’s cooking skills were not the best and she cooked whatever Neil demanded anyway. One of the upsides of being kicked out was that Billy would never have to pretend to enjoy Susan’s bland, dry meatloaf.

Billy realized Steve was calling his name and he looked over at him. “Sorry, what did you say?”

“Dinner is ready. You wanna watch a movie while we eat?”

Billy nodded, at a loss to explain why Steve was being so nice to him. It wasn’t like they were friends. Yeah, sure, Billy had apologized after the fight that night back in November, but the few times he’d taken Max to the video store, he’d stayed in the car to avoid any awkwardness.

Now he’d shared his birthday cupcake with the guy and they were sitting down on his expensive looking couch to watch a movie, with a beer and delicious smelling food Steve had made for them. Almost made Billy forget about Neil whaling on him and kicking him out of the house.

He expected Steve to sit on the other end of the couch but he sat right next to Billy instead, his thigh warm against Billy’s. They ate in silence, and Billy did his best to pay attention to the plot of the movie Steve had picked but he was too distracted to care much. He hadn’t been this close to Steve since basketball practice and it was making his heart race.

Billy was trying not to read too much into the prolonged physical contact. He’d already been punched once tonight, he wasn’t looking for a repeat. Resisting the urge to put his hand on Steve’s thigh was getting harder and Billy wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to control his body’s reaction. That was an embarrassing situation he could do without, not to mention extremely awkward. 

He put his empty plate on the coffee table and stood up, asking Steve for directions to the bathroom before telling him he didn’t need to pause the movie. Billy then rushed out of the living room and locked the bathroom door behind him, resting against it for a minute. Fuck. Maybe he should leave, head over to the Motel 6 for the night and work out what to do tomorrow. 

Once he was done in the bathroom, he headed for the kitchen and got a glass of water to give himself some time. 

“You okay?” Steve asked from the doorway and Billy startled.

“Y-yeah, just, um, needed a drink.” He drained the last of his water and put the glass in the sink. “Look, Steve, it’s really late. I’ll… um, I’ll get out of your hair. Thanks for dinner but I better be going.”

“What? No.” Steve walked into the kitchen and stopped in front of Billy. “Why?”

Because if I stay I’ll probably get a boner and try to kiss you…

Billy ran a tired hand through his hair. “It’s just… it’s better this way.”

“Better for who?” Steve asked, not budging when Billy tried to move past him.

“Steve…”

“Listen, Billy, I’m sorry.” 

“What?”

Steve’s hand made it halfway to Billy before he dropped it at his side and wasn’t that a mindfuck? “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable by sitting so close to you on the couch. I just…”

“You just…?” Billy’s fingers twitched with the need to reach out to the boy in front of him. He could feel Steve’s eyes on him, a phantom touch that heated up his skin, so for once, he let himself look. Steve’s hair looked like he’d been raking his fingers through it, his brown eyes fixated on Billy, the moles dotting his cheek and his neck, the yellow jumper that looked so soft. 

Billy didn’t let his gaze move below the belt, instead trailing back up to Steve’s mouth, his lips looking so fucking kissable. And so close. Huh? Before Billy could fully process that Steve had closed the gap between them, Steve leaned forward, cupping Billy’s face with both hands, and pressed their mouths together.

The contact was brief. Too soon, Steve pulled away, dropping his hands and taking a step back, eyes wide, like he suddenly realized the enormity of what he’d done. Billy grabbed him by the waist with both hands and pulled him close, capturing Steve’s lips and unleashing a year and a half of pent up yearning and pining. 

Billy found himself pressed against the side of the fridge, Steve’s tongue in his mouth and Steve’s arms around his neck. The kiss went from soft and exploratory to frantic and thrilling. Billy couldn’t get enough. He could feel Steve getting hard against his belly and it was intoxicating.

They broke the kiss when breathing became an issue but didn’t move away from each other.

“Stay,” Steve whispered against his lips and Billy nodded.

Later, tangled with Steve in his bed, naked and sated, Billy told Steve in hushed whispers how he’d wanted to kiss him since the Halloween party at Tina’s. Steve told Billy of all the times he’d stamped down on the attraction he was feeling because he believed it would never go anywhere. Billy laughed when Steve said he’d thought Billy was straight, then told him about Neil.

Over breakfast the next morning, Billy told Steve he’d secretly applied to colleges in California, and Steve told him he’d never seen the ocean. They started making plans.

***

Billy stepped off the stage on Graduation Day and walked past his classmates and the rest of the crowd until he reached the parking lot. Steve and Max were leaning against the Camaro, chatting animatedly. Max ran to him when she spotted him and they hugged.

“I’m gonna miss you so much, Billy!” she cried when he let go of her.

“You can come visit, shithead,” he replied with a grin. Being with Steve had helped repair their relationship and Billy had had to admit that Steve was right and Max did care. 

“You better write me when you get there.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I promised, didn’t I?”

They hugged one last time then Steve said his goodbyes and they got into the car.

Billy told Steve he could picked a tape and a lone birthday candle fell out of the glove box when Steve opened it.

“You never did tell me about your birthday wish, Billy,” Steve said, holding the candle up with two fingers.

Billy smiled as he pulled away from the lot. “I guess I can tell you now, since it came true.”

“Oh?”

“You were my wish, pretty boy.”

[rayalltheway]

I never see anyone posting about him and I’m not doing this just to fill that gap but bro

I really like Yellowtusk and he is def my fav brotherhood member (yeah I love Peng and all, but I don’t really think they’re an INTERESTING character at the moment yanno), it kinda sucks I don’t see anyone talking about him

For one, he’s like. an old man fr

He’s genuinely OLD in age and appearance, which I think is really neat since age doesn’t really show for most of the other immortal characters. It puts him in a different ballpark. And he’s meant to be “the Wise” one of the group, and he is genuinely rational and noble intentioned through and through, far more than the delusional gumballl Azure was - but he somehow he ends up on the WRONG side of things. How his own wisdom conflicts with his loyalty is genuinely interesting to me.

I can’t help but wonder if he was the practical and rational brains behind the whole initial rebellion as presumably the one who spent the longest working for the Celestial Realm, but he just didn’t have SWK’s or Azure’s sheer force of personality to make him leader. But he also made assumptions and missed things, and despite being the one who is supposed to be the most knowledgeable, in the end he didn’t know the Jade Emperor - OR Azure - as well as he thought he did.

I feel like in a similar way that Azure projected his own ideals onto SWK, Yellowtusk kind of did the same thing in regards to Azure (since they all made it clear they never really took SWK seriously as the new Emperor). After presumably spending so long stuck in one place and getting mentally aged and beaten down by his inability to change the system, and thinking he was finally following someone who could do what he couldn’t and make change possible...he just ended up becoming a lackey once again, except in a worse way. That...honestly makes him outright tragic to me in a traditional sense, in the sense that someone almost has everything figured out, but just makes one wrong move that ruins everything.

I’m not saying he’s without wrongdoing or guilt, but I really do think that he was genuinely misguided, too narrow-minded with his wisdom to make any real change, and lacking in the hopefullness that drives the Monkie Kids. and the rest of the Brotherhood being an absolute dumpster fire of a group didn’t help either but that’s another post

Anyways I like my elephant grandad a lot, and season 4 shows us all first hand why you should never put the himbo in charge, Thank you all for coming hehe

[wandringaesthetic]

Some Animorphs thoughts, and some general violence in media thoughts:

So the majority of yeerks the Animorphs have to face, have innocent slaves as their hosts. So, taking Animorphs as a metaphor for IRL wars, KAA is communicating that many people fighting in a war simply aren't there by choice and also that collateral damage in war almost inevitably hits some unambiguously innocent people.

BUT ON TOP OF THAT

You have the yeerks, who have very limited senses and mobility in their unhosted state. There's a species on their home planet they can parasite into, but their capabilities are not so great either, and they're not very numerous. (Though, as I'm writing this, I wonder if the Yeerk distaste against Gedd hosts is more of a social thing cuz it signals low status or if this is maybe even the result of propaganda) If they want to have full sensory experiences and if they want to go to the stars, they're going to have to enslave other races.

(or..... Do something more complex, like some bio-engineering, but that's going on a tangent)

Early in the books, the yeerks are perceived as unnuanced evil. From at least #19, you get their perspective, which imo doesn't make them justified, but it does make them understandable. If they want to see and hear and run and feel the wind on their face, if they want that for the majority of their peers.... Let's find a low tech alien species with a central nervous system and enslave all of them. Add to those desires, pressure from your imperial/extreme meritocracy government where the "merit" is determined by people who are empire-pilled....

Understandable.

AND THEN YOU ALSO GET VOLUNTARY HOSTS

The books don't really elaborate on this aspect much, because I think it got into some territory even KAA was uncomfortable with tackling for juvenile readers.

Some of these are "voluntary" in the sense Tobias was in MM4, i.e., he didn't really understand what he was getting into and was like "oh God no" and then it was too late.

For the others.... You gotta ask yourself why a person would choose to give their lives over to a brain slug, and my answers for that are various situations of desperation: addiction, severe mental illness, severe poverty etc. But I think a few were probably promised, well, something like illuminati membership, and found even what they actually got to be acceptable. I make none of my own decisions and am a passenger in my body, but I *am* living in wealth and comfort!

The Animorphs view these people as traitors to humanity and basically incomprehensibly evil, and there's SOME of that happening imo, but I think mostly not. I think, maybe if you are living on the street and you get a brain slug but you are no longer living on the street some would see this as acceptable terms.

So anyway, my point is the majority of hosts and at least a significant minority of the yeerks would not be on earth trying to enslave all humans if they had better choices. So with each controller killed, you're killing one innocent and one "well, they made their choices (sort of)"

And through this all, I want to reinforce that while the Animorphs sometimes make some questionable moral choices, their overall fight is always portrayed as just. And I would argue that it is. Earth is being invaded. The stakes are most life on earth and the freedom of all humans. Worthwhile to crack some eggs for that omelette. Some of the moves Cassie makes towards some reconciliation with the yeerks were incredibly strategically dangerous. Ended up being key to ending things! But risky! My point is, some of the "good" "morally pure" choices, while ultimately portrayed as correct, got people killed!

VERSUS

More common and acceptable portrayals of violence. Bloodless displays of violence . Violence where there is a clear good guy and bad guy. Our society (especially, if that's, yanno, US Americans) does not disapprove of violence. We quite approve of it, actually. Violence is all ages entertainment. We disapprove of realistic or even semi-realistic portrayals of it.

Most fantasy violence, Especially fantasy violence in children's media, isn't ugly, and moreover isn't messy. There isn't friendly fire. Either the bad guys are inhuman monsters or they're ostensibly human but faceless (like stormtroopers). And don't get me wrong, some media that I love operates like this. There are good guys who do violence and they are mostly held up as heroes for it. Not always in universe, some superheroes have complicated or negative public images, ....but definitely they are portrayed as Unambiguously just to the audience. Versus IRL, where even for justified violence, someone is probably going to be mad at you about it.

Is it more damaging to portray an ugly, fucked up violence? Or a sanitized violence? Nearly all irl violence is messy and I'm not just talking about gore when I say that.

[biographydivider]

Calling it a warmup for a busy writing day ahead, but it’s really a present for @yamujiburo​ - I read that ask about my favourite awful feline scamming his way into two meals and got inspired. For the most accurate reading, Meowth is in his Maddie Blaustien era, because she was the best thing to ever happen to the character and that was the version of Meowth I love the best.

It was a beautiful, sunny day in Pallet Town, and Delia was in her vegetable garden; occupying herself while Jessie took Arbok and baby Ekans for a training day in Viridian Forest. Ash was supposed to be home soon, and she thought she’d make a fuss. She had some garlic growing, and a crop of beautiful tomatoes that were practically falling off the vine; she’d make a nice pasta sauce. Oh - and those razz berries were looking just delicious, too! Perfect for a sponge cake.

“Haaa...oh, woe is me...”

Delia looked up to see the strange little Meowth that Jessie and James had adopted on their travels wandering along the path that led to her home. Delia knew that Meowth had taken the breakup of Team Rocket to heart; he technically lived with James, but sometimes he just took himself off on an adventure to Pallet to bother Jessie for a few days. He’d follow her around, yammering about this and that, bringing up the Good Old Days, and Jessie would pretend to be annoyed by him right up until the second he planned to leave. Then, the tears would start.

“I just don’t tink I can go on for much longer...”

With a swoon, Meowth flopped down just outside Delia’s garden gate.

“Oh my goodness!” she cried, scrambling to her feet and running to his side. She scooped the Meowth’s massive head into her lap; noticing how hot his fur was to the touch. “Are you alright, Meowth?”

“Huh? Who’s there? Come closer...”

“It’s me, Meowth. Delia. Jessie’s partner.”

“Oh, Delia!” coughed Meowth. “You were always so - hack! - so kind ta me...”

“Have you walked all the way from Celadon City by yourself?”

“Yeah...James was busy for the weekend. Wit his fashion stuff, yanno. He said he didn’t have time to feed me, so I...hack, hack! I wanted to see a friendly face.”

“Well, Jessie’s not home right now --” The pitiful whine from Meowth didn’t so much tug on Delia’s heartstrings as yank them painfully out her chest. “But you can stay with me until she gets back! I have a glass of fresh lemonade chilling in the fridge, you really must quench your thirst after that long walk...”

“Really? You’d do that for lil’ old me-owth?”

“Of course, dear.” Delia set Meowth on his wobbly two feet. “Now, run inside and have a nice long drink. Then, when you’ve cooled off, you can help me pick some razz berries for later.”

“Okay!”

Meowth dashed into the house happily, and Delia tutted under her breath. She loved James - really, she did - but she sometimes wondered if he and Jessie forgot that Meowth was a living creature who needed their care. She couldn’t imagine Ash forgetting to feed Pikachu, after all.

“Yanno, I gotta say, Deels - can I call ya Deels?” Meowth asked, popping another berry into his mouth, “You got real a nice setup, here. All’a this food, just growin’ on your doorstep?!”

“Well,” Delia said, filling up her basket with berries, “it takes a lot of work. But I’m happy the end result is so tasty, Meowth.”

“Oh, yeah; an’ after such a long walk, too, I really - ooh, chezz berries! - I really needed some sustanance. So, whaddaya pickin’ all this food for, anyway?”

“Ash is home, soon. And I’m going to make pasta sauce from scratch, and a cake.” Delia looked out over the horizon; wondering idly what the plume of dust rising from Viridian Forest was. It seemed to be approaching fast. She hoped Jessie and the Pokemon were safe. “I know Pikachu will appreciate a good tomato sauce, and Ash always did love my sponge cakes.”

“Oh. How, uh, how nice. For the twerp.” Meowth chewed thoughtfully on a chezz berry. “Say, uh - d’you think I could maybe stay a lil’ while longer? Maybe, uh, try some of that pasta you was talkin’ about before I go...?

The plume of dust was getting closer. Delia watched it race along the footpath, until a familliar and beautiful and violently angry figure emerged from within it.

“Jessie...?”

“MEOWTH!” Jessie shrieked. “I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU’D GO RUNNING TO DELIA, YOU LITTLE SNEAK!”

Meowth was on his feet as Jessie crashed into the garden gate, Arbok and baby Ekans in hot pursuit. “Hahahaaaa...Jeeeessiiiiee!” he cried; voice breaking, hands held out in front of his body - trying either to placate his friend or protect himself from bodily harm, “Whaddareya doin’ here? Delia said you was out training Ekans in the forest?”

Delia blinked down at Meowth. “I didn’t tell you that,” she murmured.

“I was,” Jessie hissed, “until we met you and James for our picnic. Until you ate all the food and wouldn’t stop blabbing for longer than five seconds. Until James told you that you can’t have cupcakes because sugar is bad for Pokémon --”

“Dat’s a gross oversimplication of events, Jess --”

“And until you --” Jessie picked Meowth up by the face and shook him violently this way and that, “went flouncing off into the forest saying he shouldn’t have brought anything you couldn’t have, and that you didn’t need our stupid picnic anyway! I should have known you’d go to Delia with some sob story, you greedy little freak!”

Meowth kicked out, aiming for Jessie’s face with his long, brown-and-white feet. “At least she’s nice to me - unlike you, ya big nasty mean ol’ lady!”

“What did you call me you --”

“That’s enough.” Delia hated pulling out the Mom Voice, but as both of them fell into guilty silence, she had to admit it gave results. “Jessie, I know you’re angry at Meowth but I wish you wouldn’t hurt him like that.”

“Ha!” cackled Meowth, wriggling out of Jessie’s grasp. “See, Jess? You should be nicer ta me, coz Delia says so --”

“And you.”

Meowth froze.

“You took advantage of my kindness, Meowth. You lied to me and told me James was mistreating you. That really hurt my feelings, and I’m very, very disappointed in you.”

There was a long moment of silence. Then, to Delia’s surprise, Meowth plopped down onto the floor and began to sob. “I-I-I’m sooorryyyyyyyyy...” he wailed, thick wet tears falling down his cheeks. “I didn’t wanna hurtcha feelin’s, but everyone’s so busy and the gang’s all split up an’ you’re so nice an’ I just wanted someone ta be kind ta meeeeeee...”

“Meowth, kindness goes both ways. Now,” Delia pushed the basket of berries into his paws, “you can go wash these for me in the sink, and put them in the fridge until I need them. That would be a good thing to do, to show me how sorry you really are. You want to show me you can be kind?”

“Yeeees...”

“Then scoot.”

“Okaaay...”

Jessie watched her friend head into the house - head bowed, sniffling - with a look of total wonder. “Did you just get Meowth to admit he wants to go straight?”

“Yes,” Delia said, standing up and kissing Jessie on the cheek. “I did.”

[justcantquinn]

i have a hard time with my sexuality because there are times when i am the horniest woman alive and times, like now, when nothing has stirred me in that way for weeks on end. i can't even get excited when i try. i well and truly feel, in this moment, asexual. completely and utterly. but i also feel weird saying that because i know that it's not an all-the-time thing.

part of it is for sure linked to my bipolar disorder. one of my manic symptoms is hypersexuality. but then, yanno, my hypersexuality is pretty standard for a lot of people. i sometimes wonder if i would feel this asexual all of the time if i weren't bipolar. as it is, i spend at least half my time in a state i would call "almost completely or completely asexual."

i would likely say that i'm at least somewhat demisexual. when i was with my last girlfriend, i was hornier than i thought was humanly possible. yanno, sometimes. not that we ever did anything about it. she had a hard time getting riled up, too, and when i told her i though i might be demi, she said she related to a lot of my reasons.

i have, on occasion, called myself acespec. i always felts dirty about it, like i'm stealing all the ace from the actual asexuals, but it's times like these that make me think i shouldn't feel so dirty. i'm a twenty-five year old woman who hasn't had any sexual feelings whatsoever for two months now. i opened up some ~adult content~ (porn) the other day to see if i couldn't get something started, then i got bored and went back to doing math (ya).

so, idk. i love women and they're beautiful and gorgeous and i want them to kiss me, sure, but, like, idk. if i find a stunning naked woman lying on my bed, the first thing i'd do at this point is give her a sweater.

[petrichor-idyllic]

HI i love ur writings for minho so much oh my god they keep me thriving. i was wondering if you’d be up for doing like a modern highschool au with minho where he keeps trying to ask the reader out, and she keeps saying no because she thinks it’s joke, until she confronts him and he gets all serious and tells her it’s not a joke and then there’s a little bit (a lot) of spice at the end🤭🤭

Ooo okay okay, my first AU story, this is definitely going to be a bit different.

Again, assuming fem!reader because pronouns used in the request.

HIGH SCHOOL NOT-SO-SWEETHEARTS

MASTERLIST | MINHO MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: See above. Fem! Studious! High-school! Reader x Popular! High-school! Minho.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, the American education system which I simply do not understand or what is taught in American classrooms, spicy content, terrible teenage flirting, kinda of insecure reader, guilty pleasure high school drama tropes, I do not condone Minho's constant questioning of the reader- no means no, guys. No Glader slang here, folks- they ain't stuck in the Maze now.

You are not a popular person.

Not that you mind. You have your small circle of friends and staying out of the typical teenage drama really is a blessing, especially during your Senior year.

It's not like you're disliked, you're just not someone most people pay attention to, and you like it that way.

You get to focus on your studies, your family and your close friends, which is more than enough to keep you happy.

Well, it would be if you weren't kind of a hopeless romantic. No matter how many times you tell yourself you don't want a boyfriend and that you don't need one, you spend a lot of time fantasing about what it would be like to be in a relationship. Like going on dates, having cute inside jokes, meeting your partners parents, and... other things.

In typical horny teenage fashion, you do spend a lot of time thinking about the more intimate parts of your desired relationship. But, alas, you simply do not have anyone interested in you, nor do you have the time.

(You totally do have the time; you're way ahead of your classes and are passing with flying colours- but you tell yourself that.)

Except that's actually not quite right.

"Dude, I am totally fucking up this titration, are you gonna help me or not?" Gally mumbles from behind the desk of the chemistry lab. How Gally and Minho got into AP chemistry is beyond me, and the teacher, and the whole entire class.

Probably to do with them cheating on their mid-terms. But that's irrelevant.

"Minho, dude," he shoves his friend, who has been casually leaning on the desk staring off into space, as per usual.

Well, not into space exactly.

"What? Huh? Oh, right, yeah." He clears his throat. "Acid in the... tube thing and we put that in the base and bang, shit changes colour- it ain't that hard."

"It's an acid-base titration."

"So?"

"So, we're seeing how much base it takes to neutralise the acid- the acid goes in the beaker!"

"What's the damn difference?"

Gally pauses.

He does not know.

"Whatever, the titrate is already in the shitty tube and now we gotta drip feed it in."

"Sounds like you know what you're doin', then." Gally frowns at the boy.

Maybe it wasn't a smart idea for them to both cheat when the only thing they have in common is being friends with Siggy (aka Frypan, the groups best, and only, cook.)

"Yanno, maybe if you didn't spend half your time staring at your nerd crush, then we might actually get past this with a C."

Minho glares at his friend. His crush on you is very much a teasing point in his friend group.

It started when he was struggling with an equation in Sophmore year. He'd just sprained his ankle after a training session with the Track-and-Sprint team and was particularly stressed about it. So, anything remotely out of his academic field was bound to make his day worse.

It's not like Minho is dumb. He's actually incredibly intelligent. He has a great memory and can understand people with little to no effort- anything scientific really isn't his thing though.

So, when you felt bad for him, watching him anxiously tap his good foot and spin his pen in his hand, you slipped him your answer sheet. He was stunned, especially since you'd never spoken before. But, when you smiled at him, giving him a reassuring nod, he never really got over it.

"Shut up, man."

"You know, actually, that's not a bad idea."

"What?"

"Yo, (Y/N)!" You perk your head up, flashing a concerned look at Harriet, your lab partner, as Gally shouts you. "Could you help us out? You're like smart, right?"

"Gally! Dude-" Minho whisper-yells at the boy, ducking into himself when you respond.

"Uh, sure," you walk away from your perfect set up to the chaos of the boys'. "What's up?"

You stand with your hands behind your back, looking between them. "Minho," he nudges his friend, "tell the girl what's wrong."

Minho blinks. "Well, uh, I don't know- you're the one who said there's a problem."

Gally scoffs. "The fucking thing won't change colour- ain't it meant to go pink?"

You glance between them, suddenly feeling very small.

You're not popular, which means guys like these have often teased you or do things like this because they think it's funny. It's gotten better over time with age, but you still feel like the scared little freshman that would get teased by older boys.

"Well, did you put the phenolphthalein in the beaker?"

They both blankly look at you. So, you pick up the small, dark bottle. Shaking it at them, you open the bottle, letting the liquid fall from the dripper and into the clear acid, which immediately turns a bright fusia.

You pull your lips into a thin line as they both stare at the beaker, no thoughts behind the eyes.

"Ah." Gally says after a couple of seconds.

"Yeah." You respond.

"Uh, thanks," Minho awkwardly stands up properly from his leaning position over the lab table.

"No problem."

You turn to walk away, but as Gally makes shifty eyes at his friend, Minho finally takes the hint. He's been crushing on you forever, he might aswell do something about it.

"Uh, wait, hold on," you turn to face him as he walks around the desk. "I gotta ask you somethin'."

"I'm sure your titration's fine, just don't pour it too quick or the results will be wrong."

"No, uh, not that." Gally snorts, not at you but at Minho's awkwardness, but it still makes you feel very insecure. "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out maybe, sometime?"

"Hang out?"

"Yeah," Gally laughs, covering his mouth and turning away, "Gally, shut up, bro." Minho is quick to snap at him. "Like... a date, maybe?"

You scoff, anger swelling inside of you. This isn't the first times it's happened, but probably the worst because you actually like Minho.

Sure, he hangs out with douchebags like Gally, but you thought he was cool. Say, you may even have a slight crush on him. He's handsome, funny, and, for the most part, kind.

Well, you thought he was at least.

"Real funny, asshole."

You walk away, returning to a very confused Harriet.

Minho stands in stunned silence. He's never been rejected before- nevermind like that.

Gally bursts out laughing.

"What just happened?" Minho asks no one in particular, visible confusion washing over him.

"You just got fuckin' rejected, bro! Ha!"

"No, that was weird." He's never heard of anyone being rejected like that before.

"Well, try again, then, pretty boy- it's nice to see someone knock your ego down a peg." Minho gives a sarcastic grin to Gally before shoving him. "You gonna help me with this damn titration, now, or what?"

"Dude, what was that about?" Harriet whispers as you immediately go back to your third reading.

"Minho just asked me out." You state, matter-of-factly.

"What?" She says a bit too loud, making multiple heads look at her. "What?" She repeats, quieter.

"It was a joke- Gally was laughing the whole time. I hate guys like that."

"Are you sure?" You glare at her. "I'm just sayin', I didn't think Minho was that typa guy, that's all."

"Yeah, neither did I."

"Pricks."

You scoff before she smiles at you.

You finish up the lab session, and you're quick to leave, meeting Sonya and Aris at the door as you all share history together.

"Hey, (Y/N)!" You keep walking, ignoring Minho's voice from behind you. "Yo! Hey! Wait!"

"What?" You snap, turning around suddenly to face him, making him jump as Sonya and Aris exchange glances.

"Did I, uh, did I do something? 'Cause back there you-"

"You think you're funny, huh?" Harriet butts in, defending you. "That's a sick joke, yanno; give it up now before you become even more of a dick. C'mon." She grabs your wrist, pulling you away from him, your other friends left even more confused.

Later, in the cafeteria, Minho sits with his friends, silently picking at his food.

"Okay," Newt finally breaks the tension, "what's going on? Why are you sulking?"

"He got rejected by his long-term crush," Gally sneers, earning a glare from Minho.

"Holy shit, (Y/N)?" Teresa leans forward in her seat. "You actually asked her?"

"Yeah, and he got completely rejected."

"What? Why?" Thomas pipes up.

Minho shrugs. "She called me an asshole and walked away. Tried to talk to her after, and Harriet dragged her away."

"What?" At least three people ask.

"Yeah, so, that's three years of my romantic life wasted."

"Nah, man, you gotta ask again," Frypan says between mouthfuls of his homemade pasta, which is worlds better than the cafeteria food.

"What?"

"Keep askin', you'll either get an explanation or she'll say yes."

"I don't know if I agree with that," Teresa mumbles.

"Yeah, me neither," Newt mutters, and Frypan shushes them.

"Trust me, bro, chicks dig a guy that doesn't give up- ain't that right, Gally?"

"Oh, yeah," Gally agrees, sarcasm dripping in his voice. "That'll work."

And, for some God forsaken reason, Minho actually listens to this.

So, every day, for the next two weeks, Minho asks you out.

You think it's some kind of unruly on-going inside joke, and Harriet is practically frothing at the mouth, ready to rip Minho to shreads the first chance she gets. Minho, at the point, would just like a reason.

Not that he's owed one. But, Teresa and Newt's voices of reason keep getting drowned out by the other dumb boys, so he's still going.

That is until you have literally the worst day ever.

First, your Mom's car broke down, and she normally drops you off at school on her commute to work, so you arrived at your first period late. It also means she can't pick you up, it's not like you can't drive, but you don't have your own car, and now she doesn't have a car either.

And now it's throwing it down.

You then dropped a whole beaker of hydrochloric acid down your leg in chemistry. Which meant you had to borrow Sonya's PE shorts because you can't wear dangerous chemicals all day.

Then you left school- forgot you were tutoring Winston for extra credit, and had to run back to school, soaked, to spend another hour there.

Unbeknownst to you, Minho has extracurricular activities being captain of the Track team- which is taking place inside the hall because of the weather.

So, when you're walking through the parking lot, dressed like a drowned-rat and Minho pulls up beside you, you've just about had enough.

"(Y/N)?"

"Piss off, Minho! I won't tell you again!"

He slowly drives alongside you from his beat-up, old range rover, the window rolled down but he still has to shout.

"Okay! Okay! Dude, you're drenched, wearing shorts, okay? I'll give you a lift home-"

"No way- I'll walk."

"You're gonna get sick, man- I'll shut up and just take you home, alright? I'm not letting you walk in this- I'll feel like a dick."

"You don't already feel like a dick?"

He groans, tapping on the steering wheel. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable- I didn't mean to. But the weather's shit, and you can't play top-student if you're off 'cause you're ill."

You pause. He makes a good point. You turn to look at him, sighing. He puts the hand break on when you start to walk around the side of his car, dumping your bag at your feet as you open the door.

"What's your-"

"I'll give you directions."

"Okay..."

The ride is mainly in silent, with some old-school songs playing on the radio. Minho taps the steering wheel to the beat of "Eye of the Tiger" to try and distract himself from the awkwardness.

Your phone buzzes; it's Harriet calling you.

"Shit," you mumble.

"You good?" Minho asks you.

"Yeah, Harriet's calling me- we're meant to be figuring out our history project tonight but I forget to tell her I was tutoring."

You swipe across, pressing the phone to your ear. "Hey, man."

"Dude, you were meant to call me half an hour ago- we gotta brainstorm."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm just on my way home, now."

"Did your Mom sort her car then? Doesn't sound like you're walking through a storm."

"No, I, uh..." You trail off. "I got offered a lift, I'm fine, I'll be home in like five minutes."

"A lift? Off who? Sonya has work so she couldn't of?" You hesitate. "Dude?"

"Uh, Minho, he caught me in the rain and offered to take me home."

"What?"

"Yeah, I know-"

"You're fucking with me, right?"

"Look, it's fine, I'll call you when I get home."

"You better." You hang up the phone, taking a deep breath.

"Sounds like she doesn't like me," Minho attempts to say.

"Yeah, I wonder why."

"Do you have a problem with me, or some shit? 'Cause I thought we were cool and then you just started acting like I was a dick."

"Because you are a dick!"

"What?" He looks at you for a second before returning his eyes to the road.

"Doesn't matter; pull over, it's my house on the left."

He does as he's told. There's no car in the drive so your Mom must've managed to get someone to take care of it- which means you've got an empty house.

Thank God because you're going to need to de-stress after the day you've had.

You immediately get out of the car, slamming the door behind you. But Minho is quick to follow you.

"Hey!" He shouts as you march up your front door steps. "Hey!" He grabs you wrist and you turn around, pushing him.

"What's your problem?" You shout. "I don't get why you think this is so fucking funny! Like, sure, have your one dumb joke where you ask out the freak to make your friend laugh! But why keep going! What's the point? You don't have your little audience now, do you? What? You gonna call them after and tell them how much fun you had pissing me off on our little drive? Or is it the fact I got in your car to begin with? Is that the joke, hm?"

Minho stands there, in the rain, his brows furrowing slightly as he takes in what you've said. It's an expression you've never seen on him before, but you don't plan on sticking around to find out what it means.

You turn, fumbling with your keys to unlock your door, managing to push it open.

"Wait, what?" He stops you in the door, and for some reason, you turn around.

"What?"

"You thought it was a joke?" His voice sounds sincere, almost sad.

"You and Gally were laughing at me-"

"No, Gally was laughing at me," he sighs, dropping his head. "He was laughing at me."

"What? Why would he-?"

"Because I've had a crush on you since I was fifteen. Ever since you gave me those damn notes, a-and I guess I never got over it. I just finally got the courage to say something and Gally thought it was funny- for some reason, I don't know." He takes a deep breath. "But I- shit," he throws his head back, letting the water wash over his face. "I was never joking."

You don't know what to say. It's like your body relaxes, your shoulders dropping as you shuffle forwards.

"I get it, if you don't like me- and I'll leave you alone now. Teresa gave me some lecture on how to treat girls," he lets out a soft chuckle, "Newt sounded like he was gonna rip my head off. But I was never joking, (Y/N)- I really fuckin' like you."

"I don't get it," you mumble. "Why would a guy like you like me?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're... popular. Everyone loves you- you're hot and athletic and you could get anyone you want. I don't get it."

He smirks, his shirt is starting to stick to him thanks to the rain and his hair is starting to flatten. "You think I'm hot?" You glare at him. "Right, yeah, not the point, sorry."

He takes in a deep breath. "How could I not like you? You're pretty, and funny, and passionate- and you try so hard and you help people whenever you can. You're... incredible."

"You barely know me."

He scoffs. "Maybe. But I think I've paid more attention to you than I have any of my classes. I know you're good at science, but you hate physics, even though you're good at it. But I know English is your favourite subject. I know that you became friends with Sonya and Aris because Harriet made you after you sat next to her in history. I know the only class you've ever skipped is PE, but I don't know why 'cause you'd actually be pretty decent on the girls' basketball team. And I know you're tutoring Winston after school because he doesn't shut up about it half the time."

He pauses. "I know about you- but I want to know you."

You're completely stunned. The fact that he's paid so much attention to you, and knows all of this makes your stomach flip and your heart rate speed up.

When you don't respond, Minho sighs, rubbing his forehead with his hand. "Sorry," he mumbles, "this is dumb; I'll leave you alone."

He steps away, turning around when you step forward. "Minho," you grab his wrist, making him turn around to face you fully. "I, uh, I have a crush on you, too."

He blinks. "What?"

"I thought you were cool, and I think I was only so upset that I thought it was a joke... because I actually like you, too?" It comes out as more of a question as you avoid his gaze. But when he doesn't say anything, you look at him.

He's smiling. It's a genuine and earnest expression. "Yeah, you actully-?"

"Just shut up and kiss me," you don't know where the surge of confidence came from. Maybe you can't take this sappy talk anymore, or that Minho looks too good being soaked wet through.

Stepping closer, he brings his hand to your cheek, brushing his thumb across your lips as your faces are inches apart. Finally, he leans in, closer the gap and kissing you.

Your hopeless romantic heart can't take it. Kissing the popular hot guy in the rain after what was basically a love confession? It's like something straight out of a movie.

He breaks the kiss for a second, eyes fluttering down at you before his kisses you again. This time, it's hungrier, pushing you back as you grab his shirt. Pulling him back and into your house, he slams the door behind him as you drop your bag on the floor with a heavy thump.

Almost immediately, he grabs you again, pushing you back into the wall of your hallway. You hum into his mouth, his hands coming to your waist, yanking your body closer to his. You're both damp and in uncomfortable clothes, but neither if you could care less as you drip on the floor.

Feeling more bold, you pull on his bottom lip with your teeth, making him grunt slightly before your tongues brush against one another.

Make out session is quick to become more heated as you graze your fingers over his abs through his shirt, which is sticking to him like glue. He senses your want for more, moving one of his hands to lift his shirt (struggling because wet clothes suck) before firmly pressing your hand to his mid-drift.

He breaks the kiss, his eyes flickering as you gently touch his bare skin, your eyes on his chiselled form. He sucks in a deep breath, his chest rising and falling.

It's almost like a drug. You're barely doing anything but he's never felt like this before. It's not like Minho is inexperienced due to a few hook-ups at parties. But, this is new.

He's literally getting drunk off of your touch. And you can tell.

Having Minho reduced to putty in your hands sends a flush of heat to your core. Dangerously lowering your hand, you brush against the V line poking out of his tightening trousers.

He mumbles your name, a rasp to his voice, almost like he's in some kind of pain as he speaks into your mouth. He dips towards you, but instead of kissing you, his lips come to your neck.

You exhale, the air shaking at it leaves your lungs. He moves lower, your free hand coming to back of his neck and playing with his wet hair.

When he reaches your collarbone, your phone starts buzzing again.

Harriet, again.

He pulls away, raising an eyebrow at you as you pull your phone out of the baggy pocket of the gym shorts. "Sorry," you mumble, "I gotta..."

He nods. "Yeah, go ahead."

You inwardly cringe as you pick up the phone.

"Bro, are you alive?" She says the second the line connects.

"Yeah, I'm alive, Harry- I'm home now."

"Great, well I was thinking we can do out project of the Battle of the Somme, or maybe-"

"Wait, I'm, uh, I'm a bit busy- can I call you back?" You definitely have to have that interesting conversation with her, but hopefully you don't have to do it in front of Minho.

"What? Why? Why do you sound like you've ran a marathon? What's going on with you?"

"Look, I'm fine. I'll call you back."

"Wha-" you hang up, taking a deep breath as you lean back against the wall.

Minho chuckles. "We should, uh, probably take things a bit slower."

"Yeah," you clear your throat, "you're probably right."

"So, about that date- you down?"

You smile, nodding. "Yeah, that sounds great."

"Cool. I should probably get your number, huh?"

"Yeah, that would be smart."

You exchange numbers, making some small and slightly awkward small talk when the door opens.

Your Mom, who looks like she's just had the worst day, freezes. Her eyes flickering between you and Minho.

None of you say anything for a good thirty seconds as your mother takes in the scene of her daughter and this random boy dripping in her hallway, both clearly flustered whilst Minho's shirt is still slightly raised.

And where are your pants?

"Hi, Mrs (L/N)," Minho gives an awkward wave to her.

"I can explain." You say.

"I don't want to know," she brushes past you, going further into the house, leaving you be.

Both you and Minho exchange looks before bursting out laughing.

This was actually very fun to write, and I actually got to use my actual science qualifications to use for a change. It's nice to change up things now and then.

Maybe Minho wasn't joking, but you have a feeling that this specific moment is definitely going to be in the future.

I hope you guys enjoyed :))

[makoredeyes]

Hey I have no clue how these ask things work, so I figured I just shoot my shot and see what happens.

So I've been rereading a bunch of old Destiny lore recently and I can't help but be a little saddened by all the amazing story elements that were added and then completely abandoned in game.

Dregen yor and the weapons of Sorrow (Honestly just rogue light bearers in general)

The Concordant Faction (Please Bunige I want a proper enemy human faction)

All the other cool alien races like Qugu, Sindu, and Clipse (Fighting the same four enemy types over and over again starts to get a bit repetitive)

Awesome locations like Old Chicago and Mumbai Push (I want to see more of what humanities golden age looked like)

ELIKSNI Guardians!!!!! (We’ve only wanted them in game for forever now)

And there’s still plenty more but these are just the ones off the top of my head. And after reviewing all these elements it makes what we currently have in game now feel a little underwhelming.

So if you had to choose something from destiny’s old lore to bring to the for front of the game now what would you pick?

And how do you feel about all these abandoned lore elements?

Well the first thing you gotta remember about 'forgotten' lore is Bungie LOVES to play the long game. We went YEARS without any answers about Nezarec, for example. And Lords Timur and Colovance went a decade without any mention at all only to make a lore cameo in Season of the Wish only a few months ago. I admit I wonder if they will keep this up with all the turnover that the company has had with writers etc. but it has been their strong modus operandi through the entirety of the franchise to circle back on seemingly long forgotten lore and characters. In fact this has been a running model of this expansion's Episode models, tbh. Hailing back to figures like Failsafe, Maya Sundaresh and Fikrul, not to mention freaking Skolas??!? Faces of the distant past, all of them. So when people say they are saddened by things being forgotten I take another lick of salt because I don't really believe in that. Furthermore, you've sent a rather peculiar checklist to make that point.

Osteo Striga is a literal brother to Thorn via synthesis of the Necrotic Grip exotic. Not to mention I would like to think Necrochasm probably counts as a Weapon of Sorrow as well and we got an update for it in Season of the Witch just last year.

The Concordat and Lysander have made a surprise return in the Allstar Vector lore in Season of the Wish

and the Qugu have an entire incredibly meaty lorebook Dynasty that was released with The Final Shape.

We've even seen a reference back to Old Chicago and the weirdness with it in the new Ice Breaker lore. *I don't think I've heard a thing from anyone about Lightbearer Eliksni before so I'd love to see what you've got on that.

What has definitely fallen by the wayside, yes, is the concept of Rogue Lightbearers, but as our understanding of Light and the use of Darkness has expanded, the notion of 'rogue' has kind of fallen away. "Dredgen" is certainly a thing of the past, and guys like Shin Malphur have gotten to fuck off into the sunset and retire. Am I satisfied with how that story ended? Not really. Would I be shocked if he bounced back into the story someday? Not at all. Because that's how Bungie plays stuff. And there are also still characters like the Warlock Jana-14 who studied the Necrotic Grips and later absconded with Osteo Striga who is still at large and unaccounted for, presumably running amok feeding her child so yanno. (fite me I love the lore on those lololol) Things aren't all sunshine and daisies. I will say, absolutely, the newer writing has lost some of its teeth. You look at some of the older stuff and how incredibly dark it truly is, and it's breathtaking. The Man With No Name is heartbreaking. The Last Days on Kraken Mare is chilling. I think that they're softening the story a little to appeal to a wider audience maybe. But not by a whole lot. I recall some extremely poorly camouflaged rape analogies with some of Osiris' descriptions of his imprisonment with Savathun and the way he was suppressed and overtaken. Saint's reaction, when he gets ahold of her and exacts revenge is incredibly dark. It's all very carefully metered. But this is all background lore. It is largely hidden in weapons and armor and equipment tabs. The Qugu got a wholeass book which is spectacular (and while there are only three 'chapters' they are HUGE much denser than usual pages in Destiny lore books). But you gotta read it. You gotta FIND it.

I don't think they've forgotten anything, but what I would change is how they present this stuff. Destiny tells some SPECTACULAR stories....but then it goes and hides it. The main stream episodic stories are shallow compared to the oceans of lore hidden in text, and usually much milder for more palatable consumption, but the best parts players and lore enjoyers have to know where to look to find, to the point where there's external third-party resources that have been built up like Ishtar Collective (bless them) and Destiny Lore Vault. That's not great.

And I can't help but look at like what Warhammer 40K does: all those INCREDIBLY GOOD books, and now there's games, and shorts, and so many incredible facets to tell their story, and they're all spectacular.

Bungie give us real books. Take these lorebooks and running threads you've sprinkled out through years and years... GOD give me O Hated Nezarec- his lore and his creepy ass acolytes and the horrible things that happen to his victims as a horror novel. Or the Drifter's story. Or ya'll know the one I'm crying for is the Iron Lords and the Dark Age. Give the frothing fannies a five part series following Crow around. They wanna make some money, get a good writer or six and crank those puppies out call them canon and cut them loose people will eat that shit up. Heaven forbid they do an animated series like Arcane or Castlevania. Can you imagine?? The world would end people would get so excited if it was actually GOOD. But they don't need to change the story. They just need to make it easier to get to. (and yeah, that includes how they're presenting the gameplay right now but that's a whole nother kettle of worms I don't want to touch)

[sweet-william-writes]

For the ask game! 🖍 ♻ 🤔 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

🖍 Post any sentence from your wip-

Okay I've got SO MANY wips rn lemme see which has the juiciest option...

Lol okay Imma give yall more than a sentence cuz that just seems fair-

“Have I ever told you… that you have a pretty mouth.”

“Um… no.”

“You do. Have a really pretty mouth.” Kim said, reaching up and pressing his thumb to Porchay’s bottom lip, pressing down on where it was full and plump. "Pretty mouth that makes too many pretty noises…” He slurred, almost like he didn't know he was saying it out loud enough to put in the effort to enunciate.

“K-Kim?” Porchay stammered, the movement of his words making Kim’s thumb slip forward until it was almost touching his tongue.

“Pretty…” Kim couldn’t help repeating, pushing it the rest of the way forward, groaning when Porchay’s tongue flinched back for a second before instinct seemed to take over and he licked at the digit, a moment later taking it even further and closing his lips around it and giving it a shy suck.

ANYWHO ENJOY THAT WITH ZERO CONTEXT

♻ A scrapped idea for your current wip-

There was a more messy version of events planned originally for I Just Want To Stay Here, where instead of Chay catching Kim on the phone with Chan, he was able to keep the mafia stuff a secret longer and started to kinda have a crisis about what to do cuz he couldn't just keep being a creep and hanging around a teenager's house "taking advantage" of him indefinitely, he either needed to stop lying and come up with a more permanent solution for Chay's safety or lie more and break things off AND find a permanent solution he could keep secret. His emotional messiness is visible to Chay who also gets angsty cuz he draws all the wrong conclusions why Kim is being weird.

With this set up when the truth came out and they ended up at the compound, Kim was going to be a lot angstier and emotionally unstable, especially cuz he hates being at the compound and feels super guilty for dragging Chay into Theerapanyakul Mess, so he shuts down emotionally and Chay is caught between angsting for his own copious reasons and wondering why Kim is so different now that they are around his family and not at his house. Does he not want something real and out in the open, did he only want Chay when it was a secret? Is he ASHAMED of Chay?

It was going to be super fun to torture both of them way more, but by the time I got to this part of the plot, honestly it just didn't fit anymore, they were way too bonded and in love, not to mention had learned to communicate and open up to each other too well for this to work. Plus the reveal I came up with was just, mwah too perfect.

🤔 What's a story you'd love to write but haven’t even started yet-

Apologies this answer got SO long lol I have made ALL these answers WAY TOO LONG

Oh god SO MANY to pick from, I have a ridiculous amount of fic ideas sitting in various google docs or notes on my phone that I have no idea when or if I'll ever get to them. I guess the first one that comes to mind is the sequel/prequel to Where You Fell. I technically have started it in the sense it has a tentative name (These Days You Tend To Lie) and some ideas I've already had, but I've never actually tried to Start it yanno?

I have only a Very rough idea of the plot and also whose pov it would be in, an important choice since the changing povs that never switched to wwx was one of the best parts of wyf in my opinion, but I'd been playing with ideas for a prequel way before I even finished wyf.

It would be set years in the past and be about Jin Guangyao and the story of how 3zun got together, with interspersed flashbacks to all their childhoods like wyf has AND flashforwards to events after wyf like an almost-sequel-epilogue kind of thing. It would be a great way to explore jgy and nhs more which I Really wanted to do (and honestly the mostly unfair hate they got in comments on wyf just made me want to do it even more) AND (yes I'm officially rambling now lol) I could show how chengsang's relationship healed after wyf.

Plus honestly I've always been dying to write a 3zun fic but no other idea I've ever had seems good enough. It would be a HUGE project so idk if I ever will, but it is there, sitting in my backpocket, Waiting

(If anyone wants any details feel free to message me and I totally will ramble more about this lol)

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥-

😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

[charlieslowartsies]

the reason why my August vacation is so important...

This is a long, kinda emotional for me journal <3

As I mentioned a while ago, I was splitting my usual two weeks in June of debauchery (sleeping & laying in the sun & hiking in the woods outback lol) into one week last month and then saved the last week for the end of August.

I also wanted to explain the significance of this trip! Less about having to justify my time off and more about 'eeee excite omg!' and wanted to share with y'all!

SO a long time ago when I was a wee Charlie, from age 0 up to 21, I was incredibly close to my grandparents on my mom's side. My nana died when I was 15, and while that took a huge toll on me, I was fortunate enough to have my grandpa till 21. These two people were absolutely second parents. My parents did a good enough job raising me, but they had huge fights and my father had anger issues and it caused a lot of wounds. These were the people I could always rely on, when I couldn't rely on my folks.

They lived 2 hours away on a wonderful lake in a lil tiny trailer over looking it. I spent weeks at a time there, even the occasional month. I learned to swim in that lake, which in hindsight prolly wasn't the safest idea due to its depth, and grew up to be obsessed with swimming. Learned how to sail, ski, fish. Learned how to bake, tend a garden, how a fresh bowl of fruit in the morning should be before breakfast.

We'd swim 3x a day, sometimes just to float and cool down before bed, since there was no a/c and the summer nights were hot. Laid on our backs and counted stars like the Lion King. Fried trout on the grill after we'd caught them, had watermelon seed spittin' contests. My grandpa grew pumpkins and carved my name into one, so that the writing grew bigger and bigger over the months. I had one pumpkin live from September to April.

My handprint is on the last cement step leading down to the beach. It was eroded when we scattered my grandpa's ashes in 2014, but I remember where it was, how to place my palm to compare.

I guess I'd say I had a mixed childhood of various great, good, bad, and horrible things. Like most people, yanno? But those golden summer days on the lake were 100% a part of who I am today, and where my many of my happiest memories come from.

Due to me being in college, cost to heat the place in winter when they had no intention of living there, my family sold the property on the lake to an investor who planned to rent it out.

This was 2014. The same year he died, the same year my horse died (within 2 months of each other) and one of my father's many health issues landed him in the hospital from Oct to Dec, so that he spent xmas on an iv stand. With everything going on, we had no time or money for a big dinner, or presents that year.

I guess that was the first year I realized childhood was truly and officially over, and it was time to grow up. Many of us have that marked moment on our life.

Time passed. I finished college, went back home after turning down a few out of state jobs to spend time with my dad, who I had a feeling didn't have much time left. Turned out I was right, as I came home in 2015 and he died in 2022. There was an accident in '16 where he almost bled to death on our kitchen floor, but I was able to provide pressure/medical care and give him some more years.

Shortly after we moved in 17, I was notified that the house on the lake had been rented to someone who unfortunately had a lot of issues mental health wise, and they had eventually abandoned the property. It sat, rotting, and got so covered on the inside in black mold the county leveled the place and destroyed it.

We had left it fully furnished due to the buyer's urging. Ancient, stunning mid century and older furniture from my great-great grandparents time. My nana's organ player. The rocker my mom and I sat in. And, frankly, to quote one of those popular songs, the house that built me was just gone.

I figured that was the end of it, and cried and got angry/sad and then moved on and just tried surviving as covid hit later on in the years.

Turns out, the man who rented it decided that wasn't going to happen again. He put a new trailer on the property, and rented it out for vacationing due to it's location. We didn't know this until I stumbled across it while daydreaming about a vacation on the lake that I missed it was a relative, one I could at least go back to for a few days. My heart skipped so many beats when I saw the address and paused, thinking there had to be come mistake. It wasn't.

Not only can I spend time on that property again (in a new house which honestly might be for the best) But turns out, for whatever reason, they kept the furniture separate and placed a few pieces into the new house. There's a photo of the rocker in the layout photos. The two level lamp they had is still intact and functioning. I booked the place for a week immediately.

It's expensive for me, but my girlfriend and I will make it work. (Certainly not like we have far to travel.) We're going to be there smack dab in the middle of my Grandfather's birthday. I haven't had a true, just-for-me vacation since 2015 when we went to a camping ground. The excitement I have for this is immeasurable.

The dock my Dad and Grandpa put in themselves is fixed up. The crumbled little cement step is still there with a tiny indent, where my 4 yr old hand was pressed. I am going back to this place, and going back in time for just a short while, to heal and have fun and be a whole mess of emotions. I never got to say good bye to my Nana or Grandpa.

But I can say goodbye to them now, and say 'hello again, old friend' to the lake, and the new little house that sits before it.

That is why i am so excited about august. I know I don't share personal things on here a ton, but I wanted to share this. Thank you for reading this far if you have, I appreciate it.

I hope you have a wonderful day and remember how important you are <3 And as always stay hydrated! -Charlie

[labyrinthe-exe]

laby_log 0.2

oh wow... has it already been like idk... two weeks? it's kind of insane to think about... originally i wanted to do it every week, but a lot of stuff has happened since my last log..

but i released the demo! wip! you can find it here!

anyway... now to actually get into my mental state and where i was at progress wise during the last two weeks

so! i left off in an optimistic spirit, while i was mentally in a downpour and feeling waves of hppelessness.... i also was positive of the future! i had to do some cuts in terms of cutting off legs but....

as soon as i finished that devlog, i ended up just... really really going through it mentally...

i was both tired, fatigued, and like all over the place even more. i had started to write but i was insecure about my story and the pacing and if i was even doing a good job. i was worried about if the story i was telling would even be interesting or if the designs were hot enough, attractive enough... i was wondering if i was doing justice to characterization, too?

that also was the fact i just felt like giving up completely LMFAO

i was powering through, and i wasn't progressing in ways that i want to... hell what can i show for it other than writing? that you can see in the game!

but anyway, i started working on the key art and this is where i spiraled again LOL wow... me and spiraling... is it professional to express all this? i dont know...

and this is where i was unraveling... you see i started out mapping stuff out ( i dont have the screenshots i dont think of the part before i fixed stuff but like its okay these are some i sent to my friends LOL ) but the third pic is where i hated it... i had to go to sleep cause i just wanted to cry

i felt like i was struggling with both trying to improve my art, stay consistent, but also develop an art style all at once in the same frame and that sort of progression... is hard? scary... terrifying... it made my heart totally break

but! i perservered!

and WHAM! i started getting somewhere with the help of amazing community of friends who i just spammed LMFAO like "pls i need it to look like clouds...." and also just in general to make sure i was on the right track with vibes...

i finally felt a little satisfied though it still didnt match the other cains i drew/other love interests but eh... honestly consistency is a hurdle i will have to learn how to get over eventually, i was looking at this game development process as not a fun experience but as a job and that was really fucking with my creative process

a lot.

AND I SWEAR I WAS COOKING THOUGH! once i was getting into a roll, but my progress still felt abysmal with all the things i wanted to achieve: good writing, good story, attractive characters..

i felt i was lagging behind my peers, i felt like i was making a fool of myself. who am i even trying to make games yanno? i'm just a sort of like... artist who struggles to even draw everyday. which doesn't mean im impassionate... i think i am passionate...

it's just a battle...

that and irl i have to take care of the household in terms of chores and the like, i only have so much mental bandwidth... it was hard to socialize some days cause i just felt like i was disappointment... would i even be able to finish in time?

well from the beginning of this log, it's clear i did finish something! aided w/ the power of friendship and eternal shounen determination LOL yes. call me naruto ( don't but funfact in elementary my friends called me ichigo kurosaki )

once again, i had to take an art break, here's my art from 2022 ( the subview ) versus 2025! i'm so happy with my progres even if the sketch i made was kinda shitty too LMFAO i do have plans for a project featuring this character, a little devil ( he'll be in a game with anathema... i'll take about anathema in another post one day, my precious baby )

either way, i found it easy to compare everyones progress to mine... like wow other people are able to be so organized and cool and i struggle with it... even checking off lists, it's hard for me? i felt all over the place, sinking into a pit that i created myself and that i was just showcasing the worst parts of me...

even though thats not true.

honestly i was incredibly worried people wouldn't like cain, the mc, he's like so pivotal to the story it'd be kind of hard to rework the entire story because cain is like... pivotal, i'd just have to write a completely different story...

but the show must go on, i kept making things.

honestly, in real life was a strong part of why i felt kinda crappy. even online, being busy so much and not socializing w/ key people that i usually socialize with was such a damper on my mood. i missed my friends. i wonder if they felt uncared for while i was busy ( which isn't true, but my brain is weird ) WOW AM I OVERSHARING? idk... i feel that its important to showcase that my design process includes being all over the place...

i didn't work every day. i tried to, but i didn't.

while my friends were trucking along on gui, i was frozen in a sense of wondering if i should even continue development or quit while i'm ahead and ghost everyone for being a disappointment.

the deadine was nearing and i still hadn't even written the kiss. the gui wasn't done either which didn't worry me as much as being worried that i would disappoint everyone i told "i'm making a game!" what would i look like then... if i didnt make it? a gameless loser?

i know right. what the heck?

it makes no sense.

i ended up writing the kiss yesterday actually, i was experiencing writer's block cause i was so insecure about my story.

but woo boi. the story got put out the gui got done and my stress... didnt dissipate. either way, i think the last two weeks of the jam was a tough time? i did learn a lot. like what i needed to prioritize, how to better prioritize for my workflow.

i have to go like gui - sprites - writing - editing - backgrounds - writing again... i think? it feels a little weird but i think that'll work for me? i can still fix that though.

ANOTHER THING! i couldnt actually sleep last night. i was nervous how my story would be recieved LMFO isn't that normal i think...

but i released the game!

and there was typos.. which to be fair, i'm not good at cross-editing.. i was trying to go line by line after a friend proofread the first part for me and then i... kept missing stuff- don't be like me, just copy paste all the edits and reformat it. or just write in renpy speak in the first time...

but overall i think i learned a lot from swak.

am i still going to be ambitious?

hell the fuck yes.

but will i know how to better work around my high and low mental peaks? also yes. i think i need to remind myself every so often why i'm doing this... well i love writing, i love art, i love telling stories... i like to share my perspective on things, my characters perspectives, and just ships too in general I LOVE SHIPS! SO MUCH YOU DONT EVEN KNOW

but yeah...

does any of this make sense? i don't know... maybe i overshared, maybe i didn't. but the demo is done. it's still a giant wip, but i feel better about the future of it. the extended demo is coming and i will keep on trucking on. cause that's all i can do.

anwho... laby logging out <3