#I won't commit any crimes with him i swear

[mynameispen]

And that is why I believe I should be allowed to have a dragon friend. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[dustofthedailylife]

How to Steal the Duke's Heart 101

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Pairing: Wriothesley x (gn!) Reader

Summary: The moment your verdict was decided as guilty you were brought to the Fortress of Meropide - despite being innocent. Little did you know that the trip to prison would make you meet the love of your life.

Tags: Fluff, kissing, you're in prison (but innocent), some violence (not graphic), swearing

A/N: Due to me being utterly normal about Wriothesley I had the idea for this fic - who am I kidding I would commit a crime for this man.

“According to the judgment of the Oratrice Mechanique d’Analyse Cardinale, the defendant is declared… guilty.”

The voice of Chief Justice Neuvillette was ringing in your ears as he read out the verdict. Your verdict.

You couldn’t believe it. You knew you hadn’t done what you had been accused of, that the eyewitnesses had lied the moment they had opened their mouths, that the evidence had been tampered with, that you had been framed for the crime – but you were innocent. And no one was ever going to believe you. 

After all, the device that had handed you the fateful false verdict was treated as infallible in Fontaine. You now at least had proof that its reputation was nothing but hollow words. But what use was the knowledge other than just a bittersweet confirmation for no one but yourself? 

And before you knew it, guards were escorting you out the back of the Opera Epiclese in handcuffs. Roughly dragging you along with them into a big elevator. Down – deeper and deeper into the depths of the ocean.

You had heard stories of the Fortress of Meropide before – the secluded place where all criminals and outcasts of Fontaine resided. The place no one had ever come back from to tell the tale. At least not in one piece.

You weren’t sure how you felt on the way down the elevator but you would describe it as something akin to hollowness.

The glances the guards threw your way out of the corner of their eyes literally screamed disgust. You were nothing more than a dirty criminal to them after all – someone who was to be shunned and banished from society for all eternity. And if you really had done what you were convicted for, you wouldn’t even blame them for their disdain.

When the elevator arrived at the bottom the doors opened with a mechanical hiss. The scent of machine oil, iron, and damp moldy cellars immediately pricked at your nose and it was the exact opposite of what you’d call homely. 

The guards turned you in at the reception, where a rather unpleasant woman took your mugshots before handing you over to yet another rather unfriendly man who led you even further down into the Fortress.

With every new step you took, you tried to come to terms with the fact that the sight of damp, stone, and ironclad walls as well as the lingering industrial smell was going to be your life from now on. 

And the dawning realization of that was painfully pulling a tight rope around your throat. You wanted to scream, you wanted to cry and most of all, you wanted to run away and pretend like all of this was a bad dream. But you couldn't.

Instead, you were trodding behind the man who was escorting you and silently began to cry as big beads of tears soon began rolling down your cheeks.

"Crying won't help you anymore, sweetheart." The man remarked almost mockingly as soon as he looked back over his shoulder at your defeated frame. "Should've thought about that before you did some shit."

No. You’re wrong. I'm innocent.

At least that was what you wanted to spit back at him. But it was as if any fierceness or strength to stand up for yourself had left you the moment you set foot into this prison. You simply had no strength left to fight.

You soon arrived in a gigantic circular room. The contraption in the middle almost looked like a giant engine, elevators were going up one level on one side and even further down on the other side of the room. The ceiling was so high up that you almost couldn't make it out at all. The light was dim and the only real light sources were yellow lanterns whose light was bouncing off of the copper-colored iron pipes, crates, and frames that lined the entire room. Gloomy would probably be the best way to describe it.

The pungent smell of oil and damp cellar was hanging in the air here as well and probably even more prominent than it had been before. Only now it was also mixed with what you thought was old sweat and… tea? The smell of the latter seemed oddly out of place and you couldn't make out where exactly it was coming from. All you knew was that it was probably the only pleasant smell you had encountered down here.

Taking the elevator up one level again the man you had been following this entire time led you into a side hallway that looked more like a vent pipe. The dimly lit room that was lying behind it was only furnished with a bunk bed and a barely functioning lantern. He unlocked your handcuffs before roughly shoving you into the room with a smug grin on his face.

"Make yourself at home." He chuckled mockingly before turning around on his heel and leaving while whistling a tune to himself that eerily echoed off the stone walls.

You lay down on the bed, exhaling in defeat. Your throat still felt like someone had painfully tied it shut and tears were dangerously pricking at the corners of your eyes. 

Now what?

You had no idea what to do here aside from sitting your time off. Where do you get food? Were you supposed to work and if yes, where do you have to and when?

You closed your eyes as a single tear escaped from the corner of your eyes, rolling down your cheek, dampening the pillow you lay on. 

All you heard around you were wet droplets falling from the ceiling onto the wet stone floor, distant voices from down below, and your own breathing. The only thing that drowned these sounds out were the thoughts in your head. 

Now that you had a quiet moment to yourself after everything that had gone down today, the realization about your situation was beginning to seep in for good. This bed, these walls, the oily smell… this was going to be the rest of your life now.

And that’s when you broke down and started crying once again.

Eventually, you must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing you knew was waking up to the smell of food wafting through the air vent in front of your room. 

You got up from the bed, took the elevator down, and followed the smell. Soon you found yourself standing in front of a Cafeteria, where fellow inmates were queuing for lunch. Or was it dinner? You’ve barely even been here a day, but the distinct lack of daylight already made you lose track of time.

You sighed and walked over, queuing for some food as well. You didn’t have any appetite but you knew you had to eat something and your grumbling stomach was screaming for food, appetite be damned. Much to your dismay, the food needed to be paid for, well, at least the stuff that looked digestible.

You ordered the only free option and sat down with the bowl of grayish, funky-looking liquid whose consistency was more akin to that of wallpaper paste. It didn’t look appetizing, but at least it was free and would prevent you from starving.

Just as you were about to lift the first spoon of gooey pap in your mouth, someone sat down at your table, making you halt your movement for a brief second. 

He placed his tray on the table with a loud bang before plopping down on the bench right in front of you. His food looked tremendously more high quality than yours. Your mouth began watering from just looking at it. Freshly made roast potatoes with rosemary, fluffy pieces of baguette with salted butter, a big juicy piece of meat – grilled to perfection, and a glass of mousse au chocolat.

He leaned forward, supporting himself on the table with his elbows, folded his hands and intensely looked at you with his piercing blue eyes. It seemed like he wasn’t in a hurry to start eating any time soon.

You pretended to ignore him and began eating. The soup, which could vaguely be identified as lentil soup, left a slimy feeling on your tongue and tasted completely bland. Every fiber of your body told you to spit it back out again but with enough willpower, you actually managed to swallow it. Not without pulling a grimace first though.

“You’re new here.” The stranger in front of you observed with curiosity.

You looked up at him, nodding slowly shoveling another spoonful of goo in your mouth before going back to ignoring him. You weren’t really interested in trying to make connections here. All you wanted was to get out of here again – even though you knew deep down that the likelihood of that was nearing zero.

“Adapting well?” He inquired, still not in a hurry to touch his food.

You suspiciously looked up at him. There was just something about this guy that was off. He didn’t quite fit in here at all. He was admittedly very handsome. He looked well groomed and his attire was way too pompous to be an inmate - or maybe he was some rich guy who got some sort of special treatment down here. Every other inmate was avoiding your table and people looked at him with an almost reverent look in their eyes. If it wasn’t for the scars that seemed to cover the majority of his body already, this just further confirmed your gut feeling to avoid this guy at all costs in the future.

“I’ll take that as a no.” He chuckled, eyeing you further with a smirk plastered on his lips.

“What do you want?” You asked, now slightly annoyed.

“Just trying to strike up some friendly conversation. You know, seeing how lost you were while ordering food, not knowing about tickets, and just dashing around like a scared blubberbeast, led me to believe that no one gave you a rundown of how this place works. So, allow me?” He remarked with that same smirk.

When you wordlessly motioned for him to continue, he began explaining the workings and rules down here in detail. Unspoken rules, general rules, what and who to avoid, how jobs worked, work times, payment and money, general daily schedule, and a lot more. There was simply so much you were beginning to feel lightheaded as soon as he had finished speaking and you could feel the lump in your throat grow in size with every minute that passed. You would never be able to live here.

“That should about cover the basics.” He finished explaining as you swallowed thickly.

You opened your mouth in order to speak but he swiftly lifted his finger to shut you up. 

“No need to say anything. I know it’s not easy to adapt to a new environment. Especially not one you feel trapped in. But that feeling will fade eventually. Trust me.” He threw you a genuine smile before lifting himself up from the bench and pushing his tray with the food in your direction, pointing at it with an offering gesture.

“Welcome to the Fortress of Meropide.” He said, before striding away.

“Wait-” You jumped up from the table causing him to halt in his tracks and turn around once more. “What’s your name?”

“Wriothesley.”

After this strange encounter with the mysterious and admittedly attractive man, you didn’t see him around for a long while. This came as a surprise because you’d assume someone with his looks and attire would stick out like a sore thumb wherever he went. But it was as if the ground itself had swallowed him.

You wanted to see him again, mostly because you thought you could learn from him for your life down here. And despite your gut telling you that he was a walking red flag you had developed a strange curiosity for him.

You had begun working at the ship dockyard where a big window was offering a view into the ocean. You could somewhat make out the sky and time of day from there and it was the only thing that kept you from going completely insane in here. All you had done was sleep, work, eat, and repeat since you came here. Some people had tried speaking to you and some asked what you were here for, but you didn’t have any interest in conversing with them – especially not after you had tried telling someone that you were innocent and they had just laughed at you. Needless to say, you had no desire to connect with people – although he was the only exception seeing as you were craving to talk to him again, as much as you tried to deny it.

Today you were working at the docks again and found yourself longingly staring out of the large window. Your mind drifted off and you wondered how it would feel to simply swim back up to the surface where your lost freedom lay.

“Beautiful view, isn’t it?” A familiar voice reached your ears from behind. 

“Wriothesley!”

The man in question walked up to you and came to a halt right next to you. He looked out through the window himself before looking at you from the corner of his eyes with a slight smirk.

“Still longing for the surface?” He inquired, crossing his arms over his chest. “It never fully goes away but once you get used to the Fortress you’ll find yourself unable to want to leave.”

“Is that so?” You ushered quietly, scoffing. You were simply unable to believe him, not when your freedom had been taken unjustifiably. 

“Thank you for the food the other day, by the way. I didn’t have a chance to thank you yet.” You attempted to divert the topic.

“Don’t mention it.” He waved dit off with an unwavering smile. “It is almost time for lunch, have you eaten yet? We could head to the Cafeteria together. My treat.”

“Oh, you absolutely don’t have to, I have enough credits for food now that–”

“Please. I insist.”

And so you found yourself sitting at the table with Wriothesley again, with the most exquisite meal that tickets could buy down here. 

You were surprised he was able to fork over nearly four thousand credits to buy the meals as if they were nothing. And especially since he treated you to such a meal as well, while everyone else down here held onto their credits as if their life depended on it. And of course, you also didn’t miss the stares of the others again when you sat down with your fancy meal.

You carefully eyed the food and then Wriothesley as if you didn’t deserve to be treated to something like this. He looked back at you with a genuine smile as he continued nibbling on his baguette.

“Anything wrong?” He asked with curiosity.

“No. It’s just… why–?”

“Why am I treating you to something?” He raised an eyebrow in amusement as if he had read your thoughts. You nodded slowly in reply.

“You’re interesting. That’s all there is to it.” He admitted with a smirk.

“I’m interesting? Me?” You raised your eyebrows in surprise. “You say that when you’re the one I could say that about. You don’t look like you fit in here at all, you have a truckload of credits to spend, and everyone here looks at you like you own the place.” 

You paused for a second, eyeing him suspiciously. “You’ve been here for a long time already, haven’t you?”

“You… could say that, yeah.” He replied with a chuckle, dipping his baguette into the rich sauce on his plate.

“Why are you here?” You continued prying.

“You’ll find out soon enough.” He replied with a smug grin before he continued eating.

You couldn’t quite decide if he was a red flag you should run as far away from as possible or if you wanted to get to know him closer. But either way, your first priority for now was not letting the food go to waste so you began eating the heavenly-tasting meal.

A silence settled between you two that was surprisingly pleasant as you both quietly ate with the occasional glace thrown at each other. 

Once you were both done he took your tray with him to put it into the tray cart before turning back around with a smile.

“Same time tomorrow?” He asked.

“U-uh… yeah, sure. I don’t see why not.” You stammered a bit taken aback, still confused as to why he wanted to hang out with you so much. You were a nobody with nothing to your name – not even a criminal record technically.

“Great. See you tomorrow then.”

And with that, a habit would slowly form. You would meet up for lunch each day and not long after, also for dinner. He often picked you up at the docks and bought a meal for you and only sometimes you were able to deter him from doing so and insisted that you bought your own since you were genuinely beginning to feel bad even if he seemed well off. 

You sometimes sat down for a long time talking even after you both had finished eating. You chatted just about anything and as it would turn out you two seemed to share similar interests. You found out he really loved tea and had extensive knowledge in that regard. And it just so happened that you too were a fellow tea aficionado. Not only that though, you two shared a similar taste in music, books, food, and more. After a couple of weeks had gone by it felt like you had already been friends for the longest time. And much to your surprise, not once had he attempted to ask you why you were here or pried into your private life.

On another such day, you were just heading out of the dormitories towards the Cafeteria to meet up with him. But before you could arrive there someone forcefully yanked you behind some iron crates. You crashed against them with the back of your head with a loud bang, momentarily losing consciousness as pain shot through your system.

"What kinda big shot are ya, huh? What're ya sitting for?" A man yelled at you aggressively. 

As soon as you got a grasp of your surroundings again, even though now extremely dizzy, you saw a big bulky guy with a missing front tooth who was pinning you against the boxes by your throat with an iron grip. He was accompanied by two other, less muscular guys who were staring at you in the same aggressive manner. His lackeys, you assumed.

"I have- I have no idea… what you're talking about." You struggled the words out due to the applied pressure on your vocal cords.

"What're ya here for, asshole?!" The man yelled at you even louder now, a few beads of spit flying right into your face through his tooth gap.

"I… I didn't do anything. I–" You gasped breathlessly as you clutched your hands around the hand around your throat, trying to alleviate some of the pressure being applied to it.

"Bullshit! You don't land here for twiddlin’ ya thumbs counterclockwise. And if the Duke's got the eye on ya already, ya've to be some VIP or some shit!" The toothless man spit on the ground between your feet.

“Duke?” You asked confusedly. 

“Tch, don’t fuck with me here, shut ya trap. Now, tell me. What’ve ya done? Be honest or I might’ve’ta polish your visage a lil’.” He viciously cackled in unison with his two lackeys who were cheering on him.

“I didn’t. Do. Anything.” You bit back through clenched teeth, putting a strong emphasis on each word. And before you were able to react, a stinging pain shot through your system as a fist connected with your face, sending your head flying back against the crate once again.

You immediately began to see stars and could feel your consciousness quickly fade away. The ringing in your ears and the accompanying dizziness from the impact was overbearing everything and all you could make out before you passed out was a flash of white light and pleas for mercy. Then everything faded to black.

The next thing you knew was waking up with a bandage around your head and an intense migraine. You felt like a horde of boars had trampled over you. The omnipresent pain got worse when you instinctively tried to sit up on the bed you found yourself on.

You hissed in pain and immediately felt a pair of big hands push you back into the fluffy bedding.

“Stay.” 

You recognized this voice. You had heard it so often in the past couple of weeks that, despite your delirious state, you had no issue placing it.

“Wriothesley.” You uttered weakly with your eyes still closed.

“Yes, it’s me. I’m here.”

He took hold of your hand with a reassuring squeeze and the feeling of his warmth on your skin made you feel tingly all over and the all-present pain immediately felt like it was being alleviated ever so slightly. Out of all people you were glad it was him by your side.

“What? Where?” You rasped, attempting to slowly open your eyes.

“We’re in a separate room at the Fortress Infirmary. Someone roughed you up real good and you fell unconscious. I arrived just in time to prevent worse. You’ll probably have a nasty bruise on your face for a while and you’ve got quite the concussion as well as a cracked rib. But nothing some bed rest and a good cup of tea wouldn’t be able to fix, hm?” He tried to reassure, brushing a strand of hair out of your forehead.

"Your Grace, here is the medicine you asked for." A guard suddenly came rushing into the infirmary with a small satchel that he handed to Wriothesley before quickly leaving again after a courteous bow towards the man by your side.

You furrowed your brows in confusion at the display of submissiveness of the guard towards a fellow prisoner when you've been treated with nothing but disdain and… wait a minute.

Your Grace. The looks he got from the others during lunch and dinner time. The Duke. It's him?!

The memories suddenly came rushing back to you – how you had been slammed into the metal crates, how the toothless man had mentioned the Duke while threatening you and how his fist had then ultimately painfully kissed your face.

You didn't have all the puzzle pieces to connect everything into a clear image yet but it was enough to feel that there was an epiphany just mere millimeters out of your range.

You startled and sat up on the bed with wide-blown eyes once more as pain shot through you again from the abrupt movement. Pain so bad you thought you would have to throw up for a second.

"I-I… your Grace? The Duke? It's you! He meant you and– who? W-what?! I-I– he threatened me and I-I'm innocent. I don't belong here I–I'm innocent–" You incoherently stammered nonsense because your mouth couldn't match up with the speed at which your thoughts were racing.

Just who was he?

But before you got to properly ask that question a pair of soft lips gently connected with yours, rendering you speechless and cutting off the words that were spilling from your mouth relentlessly like water from a leaky faucet. He squeezed your hand a little tighter while the other gently found comfort on your cheek. Cradling it so carefully as if you're the finest piece of porcelain in the world and could break any minute.

The gentleness of his touch, the warmness of his lips, and the smell of Earl Grey on his breath made your body explode into a sea of fireworks. It wasn't until this moment that you realized you had developed feelings for Wriothesley that went beyond the casual acquaintance you met up with after work for food in the prison cafeteria. It was just that you had been too occupied and lost in your own thoughts about your predicament to realize it.

Your curiosity and cravings to see him more and more often weren’t just born from a place of loneliness. Your heart had craved for him all this time.

Your hands found comfort in his hair as you leaned into the kiss more, prying a low chuckle out of him and you felt him smirk against your lips.

"I know you are." He whispered against your lips when he separated from you again.

"What?" You asked in confusion, already forgetting what he was replying to.

"That you're innocent."

"N-no I don't mean just in this case… I didn't commit any crimes I was sent here despite being innocent I-" 

You didn't even realize you had started crying until he gently wiped a tear from your cheek with the pad of his thumb. 

"I know." He reiterated firmly.

You looked up in his face and his eyes were filled with nothing but sincerity. He must be the first person you ever encountered who didn't see the sentence of the Oratrice Mechanique d’Analyse Cardinale as infallible and unquestionable.

"How?" You quietly breathed out in disbelief.

"I knew it on the first day I saw you. My beliefs were just further confirmed when I talked to you for the first time. I've been working behind the scenes to get you out of here again ever since." He admitted, wiping another stray tear from your cheek.

That's why he was gone for days after your first meeting and suddenly arrived again behind you at the docks.

"You went above ground?" You rasped, making the question of who he actually is even bigger.

He nodded, taking your hands in his and placing a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

Is that why he also said you would find out who he is soon enough that one day? But you still didn't know… who actually is he?

"How are you allowed to go out? Who are you?"

"You still didn't figure it out?" He smirked. "I'm Wriothesley. Warden of the Fortress of Meropide." 

And at that moment everything fell like scales from your eyes.

His attire, the looks of other prisoners, the abundance of tickets to spend, randomly disappearing for days, the Duke… the Cryo Vision dangling from his shoulder despite not being allowed to carry any in here.

He was the one who saved you earlier.

He must've noticed your glance because he squeezed your hands a little tighter and reassured you: "They won't ever bother you again. I took care of it."

You didn't dare ask what he meant by that and simply nodded in acceptance.

"I can also tell you that things are going well. I pulled some strings and you might be out of here by the end of the week again with no criminal record to your name."

But what if you actually didn't want to leave anymore? At least not without him.

"Will I be able to see you again?"

A question that spilled out of your mouth before you could properly think about it. But the deafening silence that followed told you everything you needed to know. He rarely left the underground and was occupied down here most of the time so the possibility of you and him seeing each other again was low.

"Certainly." He replied after a while avoiding looking into your eyes.

A white lie. He wanted you to return to your old life again, out of the confines of this prison you had unjustifiably been thrown in. He didn't want to keep you here only for the selfish desires of his heart that he had unplannedly given to you along the way. Maybe he would find a way to be with you once you returned, maybe he didn't – But that didn't mean he couldn't indulge in what you had for the remaining time you were here with him.

And that's when he pulled you closer once more, one hand resting on your waist, gently massaging your skin through the fabric of your shirt while reuniting your lips as if it was the last thing he would ever get to taste.

And maybe, if it was what it took to see him again, you wouldn't mind actually committing a crime.

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.

[shadyshaylee114]

Wolf hybrid x bunny hybrid reader.

You couldn't possibly be anymore nervous. You were meeting with the sigma of the all alpha pack. They needed a female for their heat, and you needed multiple males to help you through yours. Bunny heats could lead to death if not treated properly, and you were a shunned rabbit. No burrow would take you. Darius looked you up and down his claws digging into his chair he couldn't believe such a cute tiny bunny was in his office wishing to agree to the stupid ad his 2nd had recommended they put out. His pack was getting to riled needing a pussy to keep them in line but never did he expect a bunny rabbit. You smelt like sunshine and freshly grown flowers he couldn't help but wonder if all rabbits smelt like that.

"They accused me of a crime I didn't commit. I swear even though I'm a shunned. i'll bring no harm to you or your pack. I just dont wish to die in agony from something that can be helped. And if I do end up pregnant, I request to be welcomed to stay in pack territory. I will not leave any of my children." You stated the conversation had been going smoothly, but the sigma had started to look furious. You couldn't help but start to panic more. Did he believe the rumors did he just call you here to see the only shunned bunny in history like many others had before.

"Many of the males in my pack were shunned for the wrong reasons. I don't care about such a worthless thing. I just need a willing female to aid us and many have not been interested in helping my whole pack. They don't want there young to be born from tainted." Darius growled. He knew he shouldn't feel insulted at the females accusations but it still stung after all he would never rip a child from there mother or judge somebody for being shunned.

"I didn't mean to offend you. I just want to make sure there is no miss understanding." You whispered softly. The heat suppressant was starting to wear off , you where gonna cry over upsetting the wolf. This meeting needed to wrap up or you'd be in heat with a pack who didn't want you. Never again you'd sworn standing quickly. "Thank you for having me but since your clearly not interested I'm going to leave now."

"When did I say I wasn't interested?" Darius asked tilting his head inhaling your sweet scent. The scent of your arousal making his instincts go off. If anything he wanted to make sure you got under him and stayed there. He stood towering over you. He grabbed a strand of your hair twirling it into his fingers. He pulled you close your lips almost touching. "You will stay in my room for right now while I prep my pack then I'll have my way with you before they get there turn. I can't wait to have you falling apart for me little bunny nothing more than a brainless slut begging for more from me.... from my pack." He growled his eyes glowing golden with how his instincts where leading is emotions. As the soft needy whimper left your lips he stole the sound closing the distance.

Darius's kiss was all primal he made it clear he was in charge. He growled as he picked you up grinding his hard cock against your heat. The feeling of his jeans rubbing against your clit had you whining into the kiss for more. And Darius was going to give it to you.

He broke the kiss slowly placing you back on the ground making sure to keep your pressed close down as he did.

"Wh.. why did you stop." You stuttered blushing heavily wanting to reconnect with him.

"My office is not the place to start this. My pack has a room they made just for the female we brought in." He stated as he dragged you from the office. "My males will want you there ready and if I start with you now I won't stop." He groaned as he scented your arousal once again his sweet rabbit was so needy so wet already. As you entered the room that was located not to far from his office thank the gods for that. You where awe struck the room was beautiful truly looked like the room of your dreams.

"It's incredible I know you designed it for any female but it almost feels like it was made for me." You shook your head at the silly thought. Darius stepped forward placing his finger under your chin to make you look up at him.

"We all argued on this room for months before it was completed. So perhaps it was." Darius eyes where soft glad you liked the room. You grabbed his collar and pulled him down wanting to show the sigma how much you really appreciated the room. He chuckled kissing you softly. "Take of your clothes and lay down ass up on the bed." He stated nipping at your lips before stepping back. Sitting in a chair you hadn't noticed immediately but once you did, You realized it took in view of the whole bed you licked your lips perhaps Darius liked to watch. You had stopped in your tracks do to the fantasies that where running thru your mind. Darius watching while giving orders to his men while they handled you. "Bunny I believe I told you to do something." At Darius's tone you snapped out of your thoughts making eye contact he was the image of someone in control.

"Yes sir." You whispered out with a blush going to quickly strip. Darius tcked. Standing back up grabbing your hands.

"Stay calm bunny there is no rush. Give me a show baby girl." Darius whispered leaning into to drag kisses along your neck. "Mmm your heart is racing little bunny is it fear or desire?"

"Desire I've never wanted somebody as much as I want you." You gasped out as he gave a rough nip to your collarbone. He couldn't help but grin against your neck at that he felt the same he'd make sure you got pregnant he wouldn't let you leave him now.

"I'm gonna sit back down bunny and once I'm seated your gonna give me a show then lay on the bed with your pretty ass up, So I can see your cute little tail." Darius ordered releasing you to return to the chair. You watched silently as he got comfortable. Once he was fully seated you slowly reached down pulling your shirt off slowly. Your tail wagging in excitment. Darius's dominating mannerism had your panties soaked. Darius growled

As you finally revealed yourself his eyes traveled along your body taking you in. He jerked his head towards the bed encouraging you to do the next order. Finding the courage you turned to the predator giving him your back. Your heart rate once again picking up while your pussy only got wetter wondering what it'd be like to have him hunt you and use you for himself. Slowly crawling onto the bed wiggling your butt and little tail at the wolf. You where getting more and more wet by the second especially knowing the wolves eyes hadn't left you.

"Oh the bunny want to play does she." He snarled as you wiggled your tail and looked at him with half lidded eye lunging from the chair, he quickly closed the distance. You let out a startled yelp going to scurry up the bed to avoid the wolf. Your fight or flight extinct kicking in at Darius's sudden fierceness. He grabbed your hip with one hand while the other grabbed your long ears pulling your head back. Effectively pinning you to the mattress with his body. You where at his mercy. "Oh bunny you know better then to run from a big bad wolf don't you? That's how you get devoured and I'm gonna have my fill sweetheart." He groaned grinding his cock against your ass. You let out a soft whimper burying your face into the bedding as he released your ears. "Fuck bunny..." He groaned. "I can smell how needy your poor little cunt is. I need a taste. Don't fucking move." He growled as he slowly stood up. You where frozen the only thing you could acknowledge was the sound of your own heart beat. A soft gasp left your lips as you heard the sounds of his belt being undone and his pants hitting the floor.

"P....please Darius I need you." You stammered out you where to excited and things where going to slow.

"Oh no sweetheart this pretty cunt is about to belong to me ill take as much time as I please." He reached out spreading your fold licking his lips at the sight of your dripping cunt. He smirked taking a picture and sending it to the group messenger his pack had. I found our girl I'm gonna stuff her full first. Next one here gets her. Tossing his phone onto the floor knowing his pack would diffently rush to arrive he wanted to get his fill as promised. Darius bent down grabbing your ankles he pulled you down closer to him chuckling as you squeaked and quickly repositioning you on the edge of the bed your cunt and ass completely open to him. You moaned at the feeling of his fingers starting to rub along your clit. Darius wasn't joking about having his fill. He listened to every whimper and moan as he continued to move his fingers on your clit. He groaned in delight as he finally slide his index finger into your sopping cunt.

"Your pretty little pussy is sobbing in need she want a big thick knot to stuff her full." He stated looking into your eyes enjoying the way the rolled back when he made contact with your sweet spot. "A there's your g spot baby I bet you haven't found it with your pretty tiny fingers." He added a second finger smirking as your back arched off the sheets. The pressure building in your stomach telling you how close you where to cumming but suddenly Darius stopped pulling his fingers out of your puffy needy cunt.

"W...why did you stop." You whined soft tears falling down your cheeks. Darius groaned at the sight.

"Wanted to hear you beg for it hunny." He chuckled at the distress look that filled your features. He lifted up your left leg nibbling gently at your ankle. "You'll beg your Alpha to let you cum won't you sweet bunny?"

"Please Alpha please let's me cum." His smirk widened as he lunged for your cunt. Keeping your thigh pinned on his shoulder. You let out a startled cry as his thick tongue slide directly into your cunt. Darius growled against your clit as the taste of your cunt filled his every sense. Using his thum. to rub steady patterns on your clit he began to fuck you with his tongue using his hand to grab your hip pulling you closer to his mouth. Darius pulled back with a groan his face moist with your wetness. He smirked at you biting your ass cheek drawing out a soft moan from your lips. "fucking..bite....delicious....bite...gonna make sure you have our pups gonna keep your sweet pussy forever."

The finger that had been playing with your clit slid back he held eye contact with you as he pushed the finger inside. "Your poor cunt she's so needy only put my thumb in and she trying so hard to take me deeper to have more." He growled as he pulled his thumb out replacing it with three more. He and his brothers where all large and you where just a poor tiny bunny compared to them. Letting out a startled cry you clawed at the sheets underneath you. Back arching while grinding your hips onto the hand that was currently bring you close to the best orgasm you've ever has. Darius's eyes flashed at the sight of you cumming undone around his fingers. He quickly.pulled out his fingers flipping you back onto your stomach. Quickly sliding them back inside before you could let out any protest.

"Please Dare I... I'm gonna cum again." You gasped out making him gladly pick up the pace. Moaning loudly when suddenly his hand came down slapping your clit. You let out a sound that you'd never heard yourself make before eyes slamming shut and head thrown back as the pain made you squirt on his fingers.

"Fuck baby girl trying to milk my fingers dry. Let's give you something big and hard that you can get all those needy spots for you sweetheart." Darius shifted and dragged the head of his cock along your sensitive clit enjoying the soft whimpers and needy cries that kept escaping your lips.

"Please Dare fuck me I want you to fill me up. Wanna take your knot like a good girl." You gasped out reaching for him.

"Fuck baby girl gonna fuck you hard and deep." Darius snarled as he leaned over you slowly pushing his cock into your dripping heat. He moaned kissing you his tongue demanding entrance to distract you from the burning pain of stretching on his cock. As you returned the kiss he grabbed your hips pushing into you till his knot didn't allow him to go any further. You whinned at the feeling you where already so full and could feel his knot pressed against your lips, rubbing on your clit as Darius lazily rolled his hips.

"Sooo big.... I don't think I'll be able to take your knot." You cried soft tears sliding down your cheeks. You'd never been so full before or so sensitive. Darius looked down at you his eyes soft.

"You will sweetheart I'm gonna start moving okay and while I do why don't you play with your pretty pussy for me." You nodded at his wishes biting your lip as you dragged you hand to your clit. Before giving your clit some attention as your fingers gave your clit a light pinch. Darius pulled out and as you pulled on the sensitive bud he slammed back in. You cried out clenching tightly around his girth at the sensation it was to much you dropped your hands away from your cunt gripping tightly on to the sheet beneath you as Darius began to pound into you. You'd swear he was trying to hit your cervix and with how deep he was you where sure he would in no time.

Darius had lost it and the poor little rabbit under him had no clue. The sight of her hair spread out along her back, her pretty eyes glistening with unshed tears he couldn't wait to draw out, and then when she pulled on her pretty nipples biting her lip as he slammed himself deep inside of her fuck. He couldn't think anymore he wanted one thing and one thing only and that was to fill his mate with his seed. He listened to your sweet cries as he continued to pound himself deep inside of you pushing against all your sweet spot adjusting to what made you tighten up or what didn't. And as you came on his cock he roared dropping himself down placing his face into your neck picking and nibbling at the spot he was gonna mark. He thrust deep his cock piercing your cervix while his knot slid into you with a soft pop. He couldn't stop himself from sinking his teeth into your throat. You saw stars as you came around his knot his cum warm and thick as it began to fill you.

"Fuck. That was hot." You startled out of your haze at the sound of a new voice. Looking by the chair you saw 3 more alpha males standing taking in the erotica scene infront of them.

(Part 2 as soon as I can I'm a perfectionist and I wasn't even sure if I wanted to post this 🫢)

[diagonal-queen]

Omg you're backkkk<3 I hope uni's going well for you!

Maybe the Hunting Dogs with a s/o who's kind of mean/petty?

Hunting Dogs with a mean S/O

♡ pairing: Fukuchi Ouchi, Jouno Saigiku, Tecchou Suehiro, Teruko Okura (platonic), Tachihara Michizou x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How are the Hunting Dogs with a mean and petty S/O?

♡ cw: Swearing, u r a BULLY >:((, dw it's pretty chill though, non-graphic NSFW with Jouno, teensy bit of NSFW with Tachihara, mentions of violence, crime and torture

note: ahhh hello yes i'm back! uni's pretty great actually. i love being able to tell people i go to law school lmao, it makes me feel smarter than i am. uhh but i've been swamped and a bit busy, and i'm going back home for a week so i might not be super active over the next couple weeks, i'm so sorry my babies </3 but i'll still be lurking in case you wanna chat! as always, apologies for errors and i hope you enjoy x

Fukuchi:

Mf you think he cares?? He hired Jouno and Tachihara because they committed crimes, and he's more than happy to keep Teruko around. Bro doesn't give a FUCK that you're mean

If you're dating Fukuchi you clearly do give a shit about the welfare of society and world peace, so your individual quirks are just that. Quirks

He will fully let you just be a dickhead sometimes, because...like, why not?

I feel like Fukuchi is obviously often a very intimidating individual who strikes fear and commands respect from everyone else. But you? You just walk all over him

In some ways for him it's probably kind of refreshing to have someone around him who doesn't idolise him at all, or look up to him as a superior. It gets exhausting, for sure. Sometimes he just wants to be humbled and that's so okay Fukuchi, you deserve it actually /mean-spirited and condescending

Don't get me wrong it's not like you're an abusive partner! You're still obviously nice to your partner and you love him, but you definitely don't go out of your way to sugarcoat things or try to avoid any necessary confrontations

And Fukuchi genuinely really respects that about you. He's pretty similar like that, though still definitely goofier than you

I mean he won't want you sitting around with an RBF when he's at formal events and whatnot, because that really wouldn't have the best impression, but he's usually very gung ho about letting you be yourself

You're lucky he loves you man...lmao

Jouno:

He loves it. Full stop.

You two are just sadist central over here. Like he'll be torturing a suspect and you're just watching. Bored. Not a care in the world

(Jouno, I don't think you're legally allowed to invite your partner to watch you do your job- much less one like this, but...eh...)

You two are always just talking shit about people to each other, and like when you're out in public on dates you're just whispering to each other and judging people T-T

Lowkey kinda gets turned on when you guys argue. He thinks it's hot when you get heated and angry. Usually it ends in rough "passionate hugging", and the pillowtalk is when you both actually resolve the issue (dumbasses)

He might even purposefully rile you up sometimes because mf is just THAT much of a horny degenerate. You guys can call him classy and gentlemanly all you want, but we all know he's secretly deranged

Like an angry, horny goblin with a knife...someone stop him

Tbh you should probably bully him a little bit every now and then. I think he needs to be taken down a peg sometimes

Hey, he's more likely to listen to you than Tecchou, isn't he? Besides, it's nothing genuinely malicious. Just couple's banter

Oh, you guys are fucking LEGENDS at the couple's banter. Though you never do it in public, because a lot of the times the things you both tell each other as jokes can come off as really cruel jabs

Nah your senses of humour are just not family-friendly (violent and malicious)

You guys have very strange ways of showing your love and affection. But, hey, it works for you and that's what's important :)

Tecchou:

Ah yes, arguably the least meanie of all of the Hunting Dogs. Yeah uh he doesn't really like you at first

Tecchou doesn't understand being mean just for the sake of it. I mean like, for Teruko, she uses it in her career, and Jouno is sadistic and weird and also uses it in his career. You're just petty because you can be

But the more time you spend together the more he realises that you're really not that bad- you're really just more of the loveable asshole type

An acquired taste, yes, but this is Tecchou we're talking about! That's his thing!

He learns to appreciate the things about you that many others would probably consider flaws. He influences you for the better definitely...

...BUT you also kinda make him worse

He will adopt your 'deal with it bitch' attitude sometimes, but it doesn't hinder his relationships or work so it's fiiiiine

(Jouno isn't a huge fan of it though...but at the same time he kind of respects you)

Tecchou probably won't admit it but he really likes to listen to you rant and bitch about people you don't like. He just likes to listen to you be angry about trivial things, he finds it equal parts endearing and entertaining

If you're mean to someone who deserves it? Well I mean...who is he to stop you?

At the end of the day you're definitely emotionally self-sufficient, so that's one less part of you for him to fret over. All's well that ends well or some shit idk

Teruko (platonic):

You guys are literally the best of friends

She's the loud fiery kind of mean and you are the 'I will straight up meticulously ruin your life' kind of mean

You on some r/nuclearrevenge type shit and she fucking loves that for you

Like she's fully willing to plot and scheme with you and do whatever mean shit you suggest. You two are menaces and she should absolutely not be a military soldier

Teruko WILL smite your enemies. And by smite your enemies I mean she will actively do what she can to ruin the lives of people you don't like, with absolutely no remorse (pretty sure she actually commits crimes to do this)

She LIVES for your cruel one-liners and clever insults. Every time she hears one she absolutely hollers

Teruko enjoys it when you're mean to the other Hunting Dogs (except Fukuchi). They can handle a couple bitchy words so it's not a huge deal, but she's just extra amused by it

For the record you're not *mean* mean, you're just...humbling them (which let's be real they could use from time to time (Jouno, again, looking at you))

Nobody is surprised by your guys' friendship really

You're a dangerous pair. Please stop

Teruko kinda likes that you hold grudges so frequently because she'll never tire of hearing you shittalk the same exact people and events over and over again

She'll shittalk them too

Dia doesn't approve of this friendship

Tachihara:

You guys know that scene in B99 where Jake says that he can't decide if he's scared of Amy or turned on by her and then decides that he's both? Yea, that's Tachihara with you

He is a good person at heart, and outside of his mafia gangster persona he's really not that mean, and as such he does not encourage mean behaviour. But like, when you do it? Mm...

Bro is WHIPPED

Lowkey he probably gets some of his mafia persona ideas from you 💀

His mafia coworkers have no questions about how you two get along, and they generally like you. The other Hunting Dogs have a few more questions

Tachihara isn't some shy, quiet introvert, but he is generally pretty chill and a nice person. They like to playfully tease him about how different the two of you are (though if it gets too far he knows he can count on you to rip them a new one with no issue)

Dw they still like you though! Especially Teruko

He has absolutely no problems with you for being cold and blunt. It's nothing he himself can't handle, and in some ways it actually makes talking to you easier

Again, I'll stress that you're not mean to him, you're just not the most lovey-dovey person out there. But you DO put effort in and that's what Tachihara cares about, even if it isn't in a stereotypical way

If anything else, you're certainly loyal!

Tachihara loves you for all of your different eccentricities, and he's also kinda turned on by them. Win-win? Win-win.

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen

[shuenkio]

Break 💔 up ? | OT7

Paring: Enha x male!reader

Genre: soft angst, fluff, crack, obsessed

Cw: nothing or?

Summary: You want to break up with them but-

Non proof read ×

Crd to all pics&dividers

Lack of perfect words.

Lhs: The moment you said, you wanted to break up with him, he went silent. Instead of speaking, he closes the distance between you into a small gap, eye piercing sharply at you before pinning you against the wall.

"You can't break up with me without any reason mn, now tell me is there something behind it?" His gaze went dark, as he looked at you like you were just committing a crime.

"I— I can't handle you anymore you're just too possessive I wanna take a break," you said, with sweat soaking your forehead and dripping down to your cheeks. You should be brave to make this decision for your good but why did you suddenly feel so numb like this?

"Sit on my lap, it's not my fault you're drop-dead gorgeous, not only you feel better but also pleasure" He smirked, cupping both of your cheeks, pressed his lip against you let the tension take a turn.

"Try to leave me again, I'll make sure you won't find anyone who could make you feel like I do!"

Pjs: The man would be speechless on the spot after you said you wanted to break up with him. What's not good enough about him? He's overthinking if he doing something wrong, something is not right for you but as he dips down into his mind, he can't seem to find any clue what's wrong with himself. Having no answer, He uttered with his shaky voice, asked you why.

"I fall out of love I don't feel the same way as before Jay, I don't know what to do besides this decision" Your tears begin to break down, shattered from your eyes as they pour every drop into the floor. Jay saw you break down, his heart broken into pieces as he immediately went to pull you into his tight embrace. Let you pour out all of your sadness in his chest.

"There's always a solution, I know it's not right to force you to be still in our relationship but— please give me a chance I swear I'll make everything even better for us"

Sjy: Not only did tears appear on his face, but he would also drop down to his knee buried his face in his palm after you said it was not a joke. You thought he would just be unable to speak however seeing him being like this, stunned you. You want to comfort him, telling the truth why you want to path away from him. But your mind went blank at the moment, you feel like he's not the only one who's hurting, and seeing him shattered makes you want to swallow all your words back. You lean down slowly to his level and press a gentle kiss on his forehead before wrapping your hand around his.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry" you whisper to his ear. He responds with his hands wrapped over your small waist, snuggling his face on the crooked of your neck.

"Don't leave me!! Please don't I just can't let you go"

Psh: At first, he would give you a silent treatment. He looks down at his feet, holding back his tears, stopping his rushing emotion. He leaves you alone without any words, not even asking why you want to break up with him, not even a simple "why"

You let out a heavy sigh, regret at what you've just done but nothing crosses your mind to stop him from leaving, you feel a part of you think, he deserves someone better than you, who's prettier, more socialized, and talkative than you. You also thought that two introverts in a relationship would be nothing other than Boring.

Late at night after everything had happened, someone came banging at your door very loudly. You went to open up and revealed a friend of Sunghoon holding him, he was wasted at the sight, which make you feel a ping of guilt washing over you.

You take Sunghoon in, still acting as a couple, before saying goodbye and thanks his friends for taking him home. You put him down on the couch gently, take off his shoe and jacket tuck it to the side.

His face is reddened, and tipsy, probably from all the alcohol he's pouring down to his throat because of you. You slowly pressed your hand on his face, carelessly on it softly. Cupping his cheeks your tears break down without you even notice.

Suddenly, he grabbed your wrist pull you down on the couch with him, holding you close to his chest. His hot breath hit your forehead, sending a shiver down your spine with a mix of sadness and nostalgia. His warmness, his hug, and his sweet gesture toward you can't seem to leave your mind. As you regret breaking up with him for your stupid reason this morning.

"Don't speak... We'll never break up and never will, I know what's on your mind mn, you're perfect to me I love you"

Ksn: Your words feel too unreal for him to take. He would question you again and again with his forcing smile, holding onto your hand tight, you then explained why you wanted to break up. He instantly becomes a cry river, he'll cry while smiling like a manic at some point because everything just feels right from the beginning but now you want a break it's like he had been fooled by you.

His face went swollen red from all the crying and sobbing, he didn't want to let you go this easily, after all the memories both you made together. Never, he'll do anything in his power to keep you beside him, which he's turning into his new side that you've never known before.

"Being the sweetest is not enough for you mn? Then you shall see my other side, I promise you'll never leave me again! Hm?" He hums under his breath, with an unexpectedly stern deep voice. As your body goosebumps, gulping down back your saliva unable to make a sound.

"I- I'm sorry I... Don't know anymore"

"I'll take care of it, if you get bored of my playful side, I'll show you my new side, promise to don't break up with me again alright? I'm drowning in you already!"

Yjw: He rarely cries. Even after you said you wanted to break up with him, He eventually left you alone, keeping you hanging without an answer. You try and try to give him a reasonable explanation, but in return he just stares at you emotionless, buying you unnecessary gifts, and gives you free kisses & hugs out of the blue. As a result, you gave up and just accepted your fate, even though your break-up reason is kinda silly.

On one fine day, you decide to play it harder, so maybe he'll open his ear to listen to you, by threatening him that, if he continues to ignore you, you'll leave the place.

"Try another step baby boy! I bet you'd crawl back to me again~"

And—

"I do that on purpose mn so that you won't break up with me, yoi love me, I love yoi, and we're in love why should we break up?"

And he knows all along, you just want to break up with him because he forgot your birthday, and he's ignored you because he knows he's wrong and couldn't apologize probably.

Nsr: He didn't react to your words, everything that you just said was not serious for him. Similar to Jungwon, he's nonchalant. He shrugged it off, just doing his daily routine normally as if his relationship with you was about to tear apart. And that's also one of the reasons you wanted to break up with him, you can't keep up with his attitude and behavior. Someday he's sweet, someday he's dry he's like a robot.

However, you and him still living together, in your shared apartment. One day when he's about to go to work, usually he would press a goodbye kiss on your cheeks before moving forward. Today was different, after he placed a kiss on your cheeks, you wiped it away aggressively, not enjoying his sweet gesture anymore, which made him turn his head toward you slowly, in a way that made you feel something bad was going to happen, nevertheless, his gaze remains the same.

"Did you just wipe my kiss off?"

"So? I said I wanted to break up with you, why are you acting like I just spit nonsense thing?"

"There's no reason for you to leave me, you'll need me anyway I'm doing your work myself"

"I'm so tired of you!! We're breaking up no matter what!"

"Try it, lol you can't even go a day without my presence, now go to sleep if you're tired of me"

🗣️ please mind my English! ><

🗣️Reblog and like is much appreciated ♥

🗣️ I did not realize that I write Sunghoon longer than the other 🫣

[hvaneyflowers]

Christmas Vacation! *********************

Pierre Gasly x femreader!

You and Pierre go on your first Christmas vacation together, but unexpectedly, you lose Pierre in the city.

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, f1wags, charles_leclerc, and 30.000 more.

tagged: pierregasly

yourusername: London at Christmas is just magical!

view all 100 comments.

username1: favorite couple in my favorite city!

username5: you look so cute together! please, never break up!

username3: would you take Pierre to your hometown?

username12: SO CUTE!!!!

username9: I need a photo of Pierre and y/n at Buckingham Palace ASAP!

username4: I swear, you're the cutest couple in the whole world!

username6: YES!! MY PARENTS!!!

pierregasly: love you!❤️

yourusername: love you, too! ❤️

username90: Power couple!

username7: best couple!

username8: love you!!!

username29: beautiful as always!

liked by pierregasly

pierregasly

liked by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, and 500.000 more.

tagged: yourusername

pierregasly: Have you seen this woman? She's short and has brown long hair. Also, she responds to the name y/n, and she can be a little angry. I lost her at the city's market... but I found this cool friend!😎

view all 400 comments.

username1: Not Pierre posting on Instagram but answering y/n's texts!

username8: he's a dead man.

username2: Not Pierre taking a photo with Lewi's wax figure and y/n freaking out 'cause she can't find him😂

username4: that's why they're the best couple!

lewishamilton: not tag?

lewishamilton: 🧍‍♂️

username3: LEWIS COMMENTING!!

username5: yep, Pierre's dead. Lewis and y/n will kill him.

username10: 'not tag?' - lewis hamilton.

username71: Pierre committed a crime. He must pay for it.

yourusername: PIERRE GASLY!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!!

username8: what have I said? He's dead. username6: 100% confirm. username34: Pierre, run! pierregasly: 🙀🏃

liked by yourusername

************************************************************************

"PIERRE GASLY, I WILL KILL YOU!" you screamed while opening the door of your hotel room.

You were angry at Pierre and Lord, he will be dead. You both were shopping at the city's market when you got distracted for only one second, and Pierre disappeared. You searched and searched for almost two hours, but you didn't find him. You also sent him texts and called him many times but without a response. You were so pissed off. This is beyond a joke! You were desperately looking for him, and he was in the wax museum taking photos with Lewis! You'll kill him without a doubt.

"Honey... how are you?" he asked with a nervous smile.

"I hate you!" you told him, falling on the bed.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't want this to happen, but while you were distracted by that salesman, I got distracted too by a baby goat," he explained, sitting by your side.

"A goat?" you asked him.

"Yes. It was the cutest goat I've ever seen. Look, I took a photo," he said happily while showing you the photo.

"I can't believe it. I freaked out because you got distracted by a goat?" you said in disbelief.

"It was a cute goat!" he tried to defend himself.

"Alright. It was a cute goat," you rolled your eyes. "But, why didn't you answer my texts and calls? Do you have any idea of how worried I was? I almost have a heart attack!"

He gave you a little smile and hugged you. You relaxed in his arms and started exhaling his smell. Thank God for putting him in your way. You loved him more than anything in the world.

"I'm so sorry, mon amour, but my cell phone died after my photos in the wax museum. I know I should've called or texted you, but I was so happy to see everything that I completely forgot about you. I'm so sorry, it won't happen again. It's a promise." he kissed your forehead.

"I forget you, baby. I love you, too. I was so scared to lose you." you said rubbing your nose against his cheek.

"Let me make up to you. We'll have fun tonight," he gave you one of his smiles that tells you you won't sleep.

"Merry Christmas, lover of goats!" you laughed while pulling him near your body.

"Merry Christmas, my future killer." he kissed you.

[corpsebasil]

hi!! since your requests are open I was wondering if you could write a nikolai x a grisha reader that can summon the dead -> when someone from the palace finds out they try to kill her/get rid of her and nikolai tries to keep her safe since she's not evil or harmful <3 tumblr sadly won't let me make this post anonymously idk why though

I can indeed bestie

The Grisha had never seen such power.

They murmured curses and prayers under their breath as she passed in chains, her head held high, refusing to do anything besides look down her nose at the people she’d saved in the battle against the Darkling.

Hundreds. Hundreds of people still lived and breathed thanks to her gift of Summoning. Sure, the Sun Summoner was a Saint thanks to her light, and the Darkling had been revered for centuries for his darkness. But she. She was something different, and had never used her power as a weapon before that day.

“Witch.” A Grisha snarled as she passed, no matter the fact that the word in itself was derogatory towards the Grisha. She turned her head slowly, locking eyes with the man.

“What did you call me?” She asked, voice heavenly in its softness, and his face blanched.

“Y/N—” a hand grasped her arm, the guards around her bristling as the intruder interrupted her path to the dais. Towards the execution that would surely follow. “I’m going to get you out of this. I swear it.”

Prince Nikolai’s eyes were desperate as he stared at you, but a lethal calm had settled through your body, your soul, the minute you had stepped out onto the battlefield. He’d been your lover for the past several months, the fling beginning the moment he’d seen you hiding in the garden, secretly bringing a hawk back to life. The poor thing had been injured and fallen out of a tree, the fall too far for survival, but your steady hands guided it gently from the Afterlife, your heart breaking at the unnecessary loss. The bird loved you, even still, and had perched on your shoulder as you went into war, it’s battle cry vicious when it dove for the enemy Grisha.

“I will accept punishment.” You informed the prince, unused to any show of wild emotion from him. Sure, he’d flirted with you since he’d met you, and was a merciless tease, but the bedroom is where you got the know His Highness very, very well. Hours and hours of lips and tongues and hands, although you always kicked him out after, to his chagrin. “Do not insult me by causing a scene.”

He looked hurt, watching with a panicked expression as you stepped closer to the Queen. She still had the authority until the prince was crowned and, though he had sway, the ultimate decision would be her own. Her last decree, if anything; a last stand to power.

“Do you admit to the crimes against the world you committed during the battle against General Kirigan?” The queen demanded, watching with a sneer as the guards forced Y/N onto her knees.

The girl cocked her head, as if listening to something. She’d always heard the whispers of the fallen, and now they urged her on. Gave her strength.

“I do.” She said calmly, too calmly, and the queen shifted in her seat.

Y/N had walked out onto that battlefield, hawk perched on her shoulder, and Nikolai had balked. He felt fear, genuine fear, when the girl had clasped her hands together and then threw her arms out, raising them above her hand with a clawing motion. As if she was pulling something out of the ground. As if she was Summoning—

The Grisha had screamed, some even wept, as hands shot from the Earth, dragging themselves free from the dirt’s confines. And Y/N had moved forward, flanked on each side by an army, an army, of over a thousand dead Grisha, still able to use their power against the enemy. The opposite side of the war had balked; most ran in outright terror, some fainted, but a few brave souls tried to stand their ground.

But how can you kill the dead?

Afterwards, amid the silence, Y/N had stood still as her army of undead warriors dipped their heads to her, grateful for one last chance to defend their country and home. And when she blew a magic enhanced breath towards them, her hands guiding the air, they vanished in a cloud of smoke and ash, their journey back to the underworld commenced.

She’d been arrested the moment she arrived back at the palace, not even allowed the time to clean up before she was dragged into the throne room. Dark magic, they claimed. Forbidden. Nevermind that she had saved their sorry asses.

“And what—” the queen asked, glaring down at her. “do you think is an appropriate punishment for your…heresy?”

“Is it heresy to save your Grisha?” She mused, eyes narrowing further. “I have used my gifts to defeat the Darkling. I am—”

“Your gifts?” The queen’s tone was mocking and Y/N bristled. “I hope that you mean your curse.”

“It is a gift, Your Majesty.“ She insisted, even as she met the queen’s hateful glare with her own. “Do not mistake me for weak. I do not apologize.”

The queen thrust her hand out abruptly, pissed, and pointed to the nearest guard.

“Bring her head to me.” The queen snarled, and Y/N, despite herself, tensed with fear when the guard approached, sliding his sword out.

Her heart stopped as she swallowed, trying to ignore the blade and what it would feel like striking her neck.

“You will not.” Nikolai lunged forward out of the crowd, stepping into the guard’s path. “She protected you. Defended you.” This he said to the Grisha, his savage glare upon them. “You would allow one of your own to die over—over fear?” He spat on the floor, at the queen’s feet, and his mother recoiled. “The gift for saviors is death, is it?” His tone became deadly, eyes narrowed even as Y/N gaped up at him in surprise. “Then kill me, too. Because I have known of her power for months, and have never feared it.”

Y/N knew that was a lie, knew that he’d flinched when she’d summoned the Grisha, but… could he mean it when he said he believed her innocence? Could the prince of Ravka somehow save her?

“This witch has blinded you.” His mother said, glaring down at the pair. “You do not know what you say.”

“I know she saved hundreds of Grisha.” Nikolai pushed, voice hard. “I know that she hasn’t used her power, has repressed it, until it was completely necessary. I know that I care about her, and if you kill her, you will not have a king to succeed you.”

The queen blanched, Y/N’s mouth hanging open in shock, as Grisha murmured to themselves in the crowd. Nikolai turned and met his lover’s stare with a look of sorrow, before glaring back up at the queen.

“Kill her,” he warned, pointing a damning finger at the queen. “and I’ll follow right after her into the afterlife. I will not live in a world without her.” Then he smirked, half-heartedly, tossing his eyes to his Grisha lover. “Perhaps she’d pull us both back from death if she tried.”

The queen’s face was red hot, but she stood, waving the guards away. When she spoke, her voice weakened, and something in Nikolai relaxed. He’d almost seen the love of his life’s head taken off, for Saints sakes.

“I see you have chosen your side.” She accused him, her expression tight. “Fine. Spare the girl. But if she’s caught meddling with the dead again…” the silent threat was enough. Y/N bristled but stood, inclining her head in the most insignificant motion of deference possible that the queen almost changed her mind.

And so Y/N stood, head high as the guards unlocked her binds, before she strode quickly and stoically out of the throne room.

-

She’d taken one step into her room before her face crumpled, her knees giving out as she slid onto the floor. Her hawk, watching from its perch on the windowsill, clicked its beak at her as if in question.

She wiped her tears away with her hands and heaved for breath, her fear of almost being beheaded gripping her entire body. And then a knock sounded, the door opening slowly as a person moved into the room. He sat on the floor beside her, not speaking, just offering her his company as she calmed herself down.

“Thank you.” She whispered, sniffing as she turned her head to look at him. Nikolai’s expression was pained, full of sorrow and something warmer, and her heart seized a bit inside her chest. “For…saving me.”

“Thank you for saving us.” He murmured, reaching out to hold her hand in his own. He took a deep, steadying breath, before looking up at her. “I will find you somewhere. Somewhere nice to—to live.” He swallowed. “Did you know I own a house not even half an hour away from here? Lovely place. There’s even a small pond you could swim in.”

“Nikolai, I cant—”

“You don’t have to stay here. Not after being so thoroughly disrespected.” His blue eyes were sad, but a small smile still appeared on his face. He had threatened to…to follow her if she was executed. She felt her breathing grow shallow as he spoke, still holding her hand in his own. “Although I will miss you. But I can visit on weekends, or—”

She moved forward, gripping his jacket as she pressed her mouth to his, a tear slipping down her cheek as she kissed him. And when she pulled away, running a thumb down his cheek, she shook her head.

“Where you go, I go.” She promised, absentmindedly wiping the moisture off her face. “If you want to stay here, to live here, then I’ll stay with you.” She smiled shyly, absorbing the look of adoration he was giving her. “You’ll be king. No one can hurt me but you.”

“Never.” He swore, tugging her close as he placed a soft kiss to her mouth. “I’d never hurt you.”

She believed him. And then her thoughts turned mischievous.

“You know what you can do to console me after my near death experience?” She teased, amusement washing over his features as he raised an eyebrow.

“What might that be?” He asked, feigning confused even as he pulled her onto his lap. So she leaned in, murmuring a couple of words into his ear, and the mumbled curse that left his lips made her laugh. And then she squeaked in surprise as he lifted her, locking the door before tossing her onto her bed.

hello I hope this is something like what you wanted

[vodika-vibes]

Round 2 *ding ding ding*

Fives and "Try and get some sleep. I'll stay right here– I won't let anything happen to you, I swear."

Please and thank you, my love 💚💚💚

@the-bad-batch-baroness

Safe and Sound

Summary: When you are doing a favor for your father you stumble across a clone who's been drugged and is being hunted for a crime he didn't commit.

Pairing: ARC Trooper Fives x Reader (future)

Word Count: 2185

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023

A/N: This is a sort of prologue towards the last Fives x Reader fic I wrote.

Divider by Saradika

“This is the place, Checkmate?” You ask as you regard the warehouses thoughtfully.

“Yes ma’am,” Checkmate, a clone formerly from the 91st, replies as he folds his arms over his chest, his sharp gaze flickering around the area, “By all accounts, the warehouses are up for auction within the next tenday.”

You hum thoughtfully, “And what’s your assessment?”

Checkmate is quiet for a moment as he looks around without leaving your side. His gaze lingers on a group of spice addicts for a moment, and he purses his lips, “It won’t be easy to keep the building secure, if you plan to use it for storage.”

“Hm…I agree.” You reply lightly, “What if we demolish the building and build something else.”

“Such as?”

“My brother is always looking for places to set up new clinics.” You reply with a light smile.

A small smile crosses Checkmate’s face, “He is an amazing man.”

“Careful Captain, you’re in danger of swooning.” You tease gently, and then you laugh when he bumps your shoulder with his own, “In any event, I didn’t see any clinics anywhere in the area.”

“Probably because there isn’t one.” Checkmate replies, “You know what businessmen are like.”

You shoot him an amused look.

“Businessmen who aren’t associated with Gryffin Industries.” Checkmate clarifies with a roll of his eyes, “Everyone knows that the people who run Gryffin are about as close to saints as mortals can be.”

You laugh again, “You think far, far too highly of my family.”

Checkmate glances at you out of the corner of his eye, “Your family takes vod’e who are no longer able to do their duty, like myself, and gives us jobs, medical attention, and a place to live. That puts you pretty damn close to sainthood to me and my vod’e.”

“It’s hardly-”

“Both of my legs were blown off, and you gave me prosthetics that helped me walk again. Pretty sure that makes you the Patron Saint of Lost Causes.” Checkmate interrupts with a grin.

“You’re awful.”

“Hm, maybe if you would pick a bodyguard, then I wouldn’t tease you so much.”

“Yes, you would.”

“Yes. I would. You’re baby sister coded.”

You pout at him, and then focus your attention back on the warehouse, “Putting a clinic here would help us win some goodwill with the lower levels,” You say lightly, “Plus we can hire a bunch of people, and piss off some very rich assholes at the same time-”

“What, exactly, did the rich and powerful do to your family to make you all so bitter against them?” Checkmate asks as he watches you buy the warehouse…and then another three just for good measure.

“People like that use their influence to hurt innocent people. And it’s disgusting.” You reply, “And…there. Gryffin Industries now owns about three blocks down here.”

“What are you going to do with three blocks worth of warehouses?” 

“A hospital, maybe? And a park, with a playground.” 

“I’ll just add another check in your ‘destined for Sainthood’ book.” Checkmate teases, and then he tenses, and a scowl crosses his face. “Incoming.”

You turn slightly, and see an irate man stalking over towards you.

“You,” He barks at you, and you arch a single brow, “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Actually,” You reply pleasantly, “I own everything in a three block radius. Which means you are trespassing.”

“That’s-” He stops when you lift the badge marking you as one of the owners of Gryffin Industries, and his scowl deepens, “I am a General in the GAR-”

“Unless there are Separatists in my warehouses, I suggest you see yourself off my property. Before I call someone to do it for you.” You say pleasantly. 

“Someone tried to assassinate the Chancellor!”

“Which is a problem for the Guard, not the army.”

The General scowls and spins on his heels, “Fine. Then I’ll call the guard and they can search for him.”

“Do make sure they have a warrant, General.” You say to his back, and you hide your smile when he flinches. He shoots you a baleful look, and then stalks away, and you turn your head towards Checkmate, “Since when does the Army search for supposed criminals?”

“Since never.” He replies, “The warehouses are ours?”

“Yep.”

“Then let’s see what we just purchased.” 

The first warehouse is empty, save for dust and some empty crates. The same for the second warehouse.

But in the third warehouse the pair of you stumble on one of the clones sitting on the floor leaning against a crate. He’s gray and sweaty, and his hands are shaking. “He looks like he’s in the middle of spice withdrawals.” You murmur as you crouch next to him.

The clone, who had a 5 tattooed on his forehead, turns to look at you and seems to look through you rather than seeing you, and you frown and press your hand against his forehead.

“That’s not spice withdrawal,” Checkmate replies, “He’s been drugged. Look at his pupils.”

You frown thoughtfully, “We have spare armor in the speeder, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll go grab it and bring the speeder around.” He turns and hurries away, it won’t take him more than a few minutes to bring the speeder around.

You set your hand on the ill soldier’s shoulder, “It’s okay.” You whisper soothingly, “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Whatever he was drugged with seems to have stolen his ability to speak, as he doesn’t say anything. But he does whine low in his throat, and he slumps over against you, his head landing on your chest.

“It’s going to be okay.” You whisper soothingly as you stroke the top of his head, “Everything’s going to be fine.”

Checkmate returns only a moment later, and with his help you get the ill clone in a set of Gryffin Industries armor, which is much more streamlined that Clone armor, and is painted with dark teal and white accents. 

And then Checkmate carries him out to the speeder and you slide yourself into the backseat next to him. You call the family lawyer as soon as the speeder leaves the warehouse district, and when you hear the glee in her voice, you almost feel bad for the people who cross her.

Almost.

It takes two days for the drugs to leave the clone’s system, and another day after that before he’s actually able to walk and talk properly.

And so, here you are, four days after you found him in the warehouse, sitting at a roundtable meeting with the rest of your family, with the clone, Fives he introduced himself as, standing at the end of the table.

Your father’s smile in kind as he regards Fives, “Alright, young man. Take your time and say what you need to say.”

Fives takes a deep breath, and his hands settle behind his back as he stands at attention. And then he starts to talk.

He starts slowly, and then, when he realizes that everyone is listening and no one is interrupting him, he gains momentum.

He talks, non-stop, for an hour, and when he stops talking the room is completely silent. You lean back in your chair and rub the spot between your eyebrows.

Your father swears loudly, and you understand the sentiment. 

“I know you probably don’t believe me, but-” Fives says, sounding almost panicked.

“No, no. Lad, that’s not the problem.” Your grandfather says in his crisp accent, “The problem is that we do believe you.” He closes his eyes for a moment and then turns his attention to the table, “So, what do we do?”

“We can’t run at Palpatine directly,” Your cousin, the head of security, says from where he's sitting across from you, “He’s too powerful.”

“It’s also too risky,” You brother adds, “With the knowledge of what these chips are for…” He shakes his head.

“You’ve been removing them, right?” Your father asks.

“Of course.” He sounds offended, “Of course, I thought they were more like the Hutt explosive slave chips rather than free-will overwriting slave chips, so of course I’ve been removing them.”

“It’ll be easy enough to send the information to the battalion medics,” You say thoughtfully.

“How would they keep the surgeries a secret?” Your twin asks with a frown.

“They’d have to go slow.” Your brother murmurs, “No more than one or two at a time, and whenever someone is injured, or ill, they take the opportunity to remove the chip. I can reach out to the battalion medics.”

“And what about Palpatine?” Your grandfather asks.

“We can’t touch him until the men are no longer under his thumb.” Your cousin reminds, “For now, we need to pretend he’s no longer a threat.”

“I’ll think on that. For that matter, we’re going to need to make sure that not everyone knows everything. I’ll handle it.” Your father says, and then he pauses, “And what about Fives. He can’t return to the 501st, he has a price on his head.”

“I’ll take him.” You reply after a moment of thought, “You’ve all been hounding me about not having a bodyguard for ages now anyway.”

“Does that work for you, Fives?” Your father asks.

“Uh..yes sir.”

“Excellent.” He looks at his datapad, “Okay, I think that’s enough for now. Get him settled,” Your father says to you, “And make sure he gets proper armor.”

“I will.” You stand and walk over to Fives, “You can follow me.” He nods and turns to trail after you as you walk over to a hidden elevator and you press a button to activate it, “Until you get a proper helmet, we’ll be using the hidden passages and elevators.” You explain.

“That makes sense,” He replies, sounding deeply, deeply exhausted.

You smile at him soothingly as you step into the elevator, and you press one of the buttons. The elevator goes down seven levels, and then the door dings open and you lead him through a richly decorated hall, and you stop in front of a door, “This is my room.” And then you walk a single door down, “This is yours.”

You push the door open, and reveal a proper studio apartment. “This is all mine?”

“Yes. At the moment, nothing is stocked because I haven’t had a bodyguard since I was a child.” You explain, “I’ll make sure food is delivered, and you can use the datapad to order anything you might need.” You motion at the datapad on the counter, “Food, clothes, and hygiene items are included as part of your paycheck. Anything you want for fun, movies, books, games, you have to buy yourself. But that’s what the paycheck is for.” 

“That seems really generous.”

You shrug, “We can afford it. Armor and weapons will be supplied. My twin will get you set up with armor as soon as you’re feeling up to it. We have a paint room with the appropriate colors all in stock.”

“Alright.”

“The bedding is clean, so you’ll be able to sleep in here tonight, or whenever you want to sleep.” You motion towards the closet, “The laundry shoot is in there, generally laundry is returned the day after you put it in the shoot.”

“What’s that door?” Five asks, as he motions to a door on the opposite wall.

“Oh. Right.” You walk over to the door, and press the button to open it, “This door connects my room with yours. It can’t be locked on either side. You have to be able to get to me quickly as my bodyguard, but I also need to be able to get to you quickly for the same reason. The door can be left open, or shut, depending on our preferences.”

“Alright. Can we keep it open? I’m not used to sleeping alone.”

“Of course.” You press another button, and the door locks in the open position, “Any other questions?”

“No-” His sentence is broken by a yawn, “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” You gently guide him towards the bed, “You should get some sleep.”

Fives hesitates, “I don’t know if I can. I keep thinking that someone is going to swoop in and kill me-”

You very gently sit him down on his bed, “Fives, try and get some sleep. I'll stay right here– I won't let anything happen to you, I swear.”

He hesitates for a moment longer, and then lays down on the soft bed. Fives tosses and turns for a bit, but after you grab his datapad and sit on the side of his bed, he settles a little bit.

He’s still not sleeping restfully, but he shifts and he slings his arms around you, clinging to you like you’re a stuffed animal, and he presses his face against your back, and you heave out a silent sigh of relief when his breathing becomes deep and even.

With Fives asleep, you decide to take the time to go through and place his food order. As well as ordering some clothes and the necessary hygiene things that he might need.

Everything’s going to be alright. You won’t stand for anything else.

[heartfullofleeches]

Gumi Pop

Yan Candy Twins + G.N Reader

[Vaguely implied cannibalism, but they aren't human so it's up to interpretation]

"Cherry orrrrr blue raspberry? Neither really match with what I'm wearing, but they're pretty popular and I live to impress."

The soil is nice this time of year.

"Oh, oh! What about grape?... Mm, nah - Dunno if they changed the recipe, but the flavouring tastes like cough syrup now."

Moist and wet - the perfect place to hide... Let the worms and other nature forces find use for this sticky shell.

"Lemon is good.. but it feels too formal for a first date."

How could there be another place for him? How could you possibly love them after all he's done?

"Strawberry is another fan favorite as well as mine. Dress for the job you want as they say.... Gigi, I swear if you're doing that self deprecating monologue shit again I won't let you pick their locks like we planned."

The man immediately dries his eyes - a red smear ran across his translucent cheek as his sleeve covers his face. "Sorry, Lollie. It's just....we we've gotten so close to meeting them and I messed things up with my... accident."

Hopping off the roof of the car they arrived in, the woman pulls her brother into a hug - relieving him of the shovel in his hands. "Don't sweat it. Mistakes happen, and as soon as Y/n gets a taste of us it'll all be a thing of the past."

Giggling to herself, she pinches his cheek and plants the tool in the fresh mound of dirt - dumping the disturbed earth over the frozen face below. The pile lands center to his chest, soil and small pebbles filing the three, cylindrical holes punched right below his ribs. They'd be the first to claim his death was accidental. Readying a gift for the one they admired most in the human world, twins stopped by a convenience store a block away from your home to pick up the remaining products on their list. There really was no simple way to ease you into the idea of two sentient beings made of candy stalking you for years to learn the ins and outs of human society and falling madly in love with you along the way - but a gift basket was a start.

While Lolotte was gathering butcher knives and cards, her dear brother was in the back making himself presentable for the big meet. Unlike his siblings glossy shine and hard shell, poor Gumi was completely see through from a certain angle all the way down to his sugary skeleton. He was fortunate enough to not have any organs besides a heart, but for any unsuspecting person his appearance may still cause a fright and he didn't want to scare you away at first sight.

Gumi wanted to be cute and cuddly, just like the animal and snack his name derived from. Taking references from both, Gumi stitched together his own costume. It was really just a plush sweater with some ears and a tail sewed on, but the cute factor was high. He also fashioned a pair of paws out of his own bones and some gloves. The outfit was so adorable he couldn't help but put on a little show for himself in the mirror. Looking like a character right out of a picture book, Gumi took the liberty of acting like one as well. No way you could reject something so cute - right? Haha.. Haha.. ah..

Shit.

Turns out - mimicking bear noises in a store a location were they were apparently common wasn't such a good idea. Startled, the on staff clerk went to check out the noise fully unprepared for what he found. Equally as terrified, Gumi committed to the only logical course of action and slashed at the man before fleeing the scene. In another twist of events, solidified sugar was a lot harder and sharper than he thought and the cashier was dead by the time he had dragged his sister back to the scene of the crime. Without skipping a beat, Lolotte loaded up their items and the corpse into the trunk of his car for a quick drop off before they headed your way. The death count could've been a million times the size, and it still wouldn't have gotten in the way of her plans to make you theirs.

Gumi checks the time on his new phone. "It's getting late. We should hurry.. Plus the smell is getting to me."

"Not to worry, brother of mine." Lolotte fishes a knife out of her inner pocket and throws it in his direction. "I'll finish things up here while you go cut out your heart so we can finally wrap up Y/n's basket. You should be patched up and healed by the time I'm done, right?"

"Think so.... Thank you, Lollie." Clutching the knife to his chest, Gumi grins so hard his cheeks feel like they've spilt. "I'm so excited to finally meet them!"

He turns to the car - a sharp whistle preventing him from going far."

"Before you go, why don't you give me a preview of what you were doing in the bathroom?"

Wiping the newfound annoyance and former grief from his face, Gumi raises his wrists and bares his teeth - claws forever stained and a few missing their talon still buried in the organs of the man laud to an untimely rest as their feet. He quickly lifts his hood over his head as he puffs his chest.

"Rawr."

Sporting a grin of her own, Lolotte chuckles. "Oh, they are going to eat us alive."

[dc-and-arfrona]

Yogurt goes Yum

Nightwing x GN!Reader

Type: Fluff

Word Count: 1k+

Masterlist

Summary: Meet Cute of this list! 

—

You were in a hurry, trying to balance your groceries while searching for your keys to unlock the front door. Frustrated, you fumbled with the items in your arms, and just as you managed to free one hand, disaster struck. In your haste, you accidentally knocked over a container of yogurt, sending a creamy white splatter flying through the air.

Time seemed to slow down as the yogurt projectile sailed through the air, and you watched in horror as it aimed directly at a mysterious figure standing a few feet away. You barely had time to react before the gooey mess hit its target, splattering all over their chest and face.

"Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!" you exclaimed, mortified by your clumsiness.

The figure wiped the yogurt off their face, revealing a pair of dazzling blue eyes and a warm, amused smile. It was none other than Nightwing himself. You couldn't help but blush, your heart pounding in your chest.

"No worries," Nightwing replied, his voice smooth and comforting. "I've had worse thrown at me."

You gulped, trying to gather your wits. "I didn't mean to... I mean, I wasn't aiming for you. It was an accident, I swear!"

Nightwing chuckled, his laughter soothing your frazzled nerves. "I believe you. Yogurt attacks aren't usually part of Gotham's crime spree."

You managed a weak smile, grateful for his understanding. "Well, that's a relief. I was worried I had just committed yogurt-based assault."

He tilted his head, studying you with curiosity. "So, are you always this graceful with your groceries?"

You couldn't help but laugh at his gentle teasing. "Only on special occasions. You know, when I feel like making a lasting impression."

Nightwing's eyes sparkled with amusement. "Well, you've certainly made an impression today."

Feeling a bit bolder, you extended your hand toward him. "I'm [Y/N]. It's nice to meet you, Nightwing, even under these...unique circumstances."

Nightwing took your hand, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. "The pleasure is all mine, [Y/N]. I'm always up for an adventure, even if it involves unexpected yogurt showers."

As you both stood there, the awkwardness of the situation melted away, replaced by an easy camaraderie. Nightwing offered to help you clean up the mess, and you accepted gratefully, grateful for his kindness and understanding.

As the two of you worked side by side, wiping away the remnants of your yogurt fiasco, conversations flowed effortlessly. You discovered shared interests, laughed at each other's jokes, and found comfort in each other's company. It was as if the universe had conspired to bring you together through the most unlikely circumstances.

By the time you finished cleaning up, you realized that you didn't want the encounter to end. Nightwing seemed to feel the same way, his eyes lingering on you just a little longer than necessary.

"Would you be interested in continuing this conversation over coffee?" Nightwing asked, his voice tinged with hope.

You grinned, feeling a rush of excitement. "I'd love to. Just promise me there won't be any more yogurt mishaps."

Nightwing laughed, the sound music to your ears. "I'll do my best to keep the dairy-related accidents to a minimum."

And just like that, a chance yogurt encounter had blossomed into something more. As you walked together towards a nearby coffee shop, you couldn't help but feel that destiny had played a hand in bringing you together. Who knew that a little splash of yogurt could lead to such a delightful connection with the one and only Nightwing?

As you and Nightwing entered the cozy coffee shop, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee enveloped you. Finding a quiet corner table, you settled in, continuing your conversation as if you had known each other for years. The initial embarrassment from the yogurt incident had completely dissipated, replaced by a growing sense of comfort and excitement.

As you shared stories and laughter over steaming cups of coffee, you discovered a deep connection, realizing that you both had more in common than you could have imagined. Nightwing opened up about his life as a vigilante, recounting thrilling encounters and heart-pounding adventures. You, in turn, shared your own passions and aspirations, finding solace in his attentive listening and genuine interest.

Time seemed to fly by as the hours melted away. Eventually, the coffee shop closed for the night, and you reluctantly bid farewell, but not before exchanging contact information. From that moment on, your connection continued to grow.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. You and Nightwing found yourselves inseparable, whether it was patrolling the streets of Gotham together or simply spending quiet evenings at home, lost in each other's company. Your relationship blossomed, built on a foundation of trust, understanding, and a shared desire to make the world a better place.

Nightwing's presence brought a newfound sense of security and support to your life. You were in awe of his unwavering determination to protect Gotham and its citizens, and you stood by his side, offering unwavering support as he battled against the darkness that plagued the city.

But it wasn't just the superhero aspect of his life that captivated you. Behind the mask, you discovered a compassionate, kind-hearted individual who treated you with utmost respect and tenderness. Nightwing cherished every moment spent together, and his gestures of affection made you feel like the luckiest person alive.

The bond between you grew stronger with each passing day, and eventually, Nightwing revealed his true identity as Dick Grayson, a man who had overcome his own personal struggles to become the hero he was today. It was a moment of vulnerability and trust that deepened your connection even further.

Together, you faced challenges, both as individuals and as a couple, but with Nightwing by your side, you felt invincible. The city's trials and tribulations only served to reinforce your dedication to each other, solidifying your partnership in crime-fighting and in life.

As time went on, the yogurt incident became a cherished memory, a quirky tale to recount whenever someone asked how you met. It served as a reminder that sometimes, unexpected accidents could lead to the most extraordinary and life-changing experiences.

And so, your journey continued, with Nightwing by your side, fighting against the forces of evil while cherishing the love and connection you had found in the most unconventional way.

[joels-golf-club]

Hiii!!! I have a request

Can you write something with heavy angst at the beginning like maybe a fight? And at the end super super fluffy!!! Any Pedro characters!! (Preferably whiskey or pena)

Complicated

A/n: Thanks for the request anon! I decided heavy angst meant HEAVY angst so here you go. It isn't exactly what you requested but this kinda popped into my head when I read your request and I really wanted to write it, I'm sorry. This is my first Javier Peña fic so pls have some grace <3!

Word Count: 3K

All my work is 18+, MDI!!!

Warnings: Swearing, typical Narcos violence, hurt/comfort, kidnapping, torture, real angsty, kinda fluff at the end jk I can't write fluff apparently, mentions of drinking and smoking, poorly translated Spanish (google translate 😃), no use of Y/n, attempted/talk of SA.

Your relationship with Javier Peña was complicated to say the least. You weren't officially together but there were two toothbrushes in his bathroom, there was a drawer full of your clothes in his dresser, and your coat was hanging by his front door.

He made breakfast for you most mornings and you'd kiss him goodbye when he left for work, but you weren't dating. You loved him but you've never said it to each other.

That was the worst part. You practically lived at his apartment and you feared for his life every single fucking day he went to work, but God forbid he put a damn label on whatever you were. So that's how the argument started.

"You don't need to risk your life every fucking day Javi! The world won't end if you just relax for one goddamn second!" Every single day Javi would come home black and blue. Today he came home with a fractured nose and bruises littering his body from a run in with one of Escobar sicarios.

"Why the fuck do you care? You're not my wife! You're not even my girlfriend! You're nothing to me!" The moment those words left his mouth he immediately backtracked. "Querida, I'm so sorry, I didn't me-"

But it was too late you were already walking to the door to grab your keys and pull on your shoes. "No, Javier. You're right. We aren't dating no reason I should give a damn about you. See you around." The door slammed behind you as you walked away and down the apartment complex to your car parked out front.

Your solution to the hurt radiating throughout you was to head to the nearest bar and get shit faced. Javier would've had your ass for going out and getting drunk alone in the crime capital of the world but who the hell was he to tell you what to do. Especially after what he said when you tried to show concern for him.

So here you were sitting alone at the bar, well past midnight, and probably three too many drinks deep. Getting home was the issue at hand now. Home. That should've been Javier's apartment filled with both of your belongings. The two of you should've been intertwined in bed right about now, connected in the most intimate way.

But instead you were drunk, alone, and extremely vulnerable. All because Javier fucking Peña couldn't find it in himself to commit to one person after over a year of almost dating.

As you made a move to walk out the bar and back towards the car you almost immediately stumbled just standing up, no way in hell were you driving across town to your apartment.

Walking wasn't an option either. There were already three men outside the bar looking at you in a way that was much more than just friendly.

There was only one person you could call no matter how much you wanted to avoid it.

He picked up on the third ring. "Hermosa? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean anything I said you know that right?" He immediately started spewing apologies the moment he answered the phone.

"Javier, I don't really care right now? I'm drunk, really drunk and there's these guys that aren't too far away from me and I can't drive."

"Where are you, Carino?" You gave him the address and you could hear him grab his keys and slam the door. "Stay where you are and stay on the phone ok? Do not hang up."

You nodded before remembering he couldn't see you. "Ok. " You kept an eye on the three men and couldn't help but notice they were closer than before, they had now crossed the road over to your side of the street. "Javi?"

"What is it? I'm 30 minutes away."

"Javi they're getting closer." You gasped when a flash of metal lit up in the dim streetlight. "Javi they have guns. What do I do? They have fucking guns Javi." You were panicking now and the men were only getting closer. Javier wouldn't be able to do shit in half an hour if the men decided to use their weapons.

"Lock your doors. Do not open the doors. Can you drive at all?"

You're gaze darted around and sent your head spinning. "No. Javi I can't drive! I'm so fucking stupid why would I get drunk right now? Javi what if they try to d-"

The sound of your voice over the phone was cut off by a scream and loud gunshots ringing through the line.

Javi gripped the wheel and pressed the pedal down to the floor while shouting your name. "Hey! What happened? Answer me please!" He called your name again before the line went dead. "Joder que hago? ¿Qué debo hacer? Fuck, what do I do? What do I do?"

With sweating palms and a racing pulse he called Murphy for backup.

After the men shattered your windows with bullets, they roughly yanked you out of your car, uncaring of any cuts or scrapes you got from all the broken glass, and shoved you through the doorway of the house across the street they had sat in front of earlier.

The entirety of the short walk there was spent with you fighting tooth and nail to get out of their grasp while the men felt you up through the tight dress you wore. Their dirty hands grabbed and pulled at every available inch of skin they could reach while you tried to kick and bite at their skin.

"Deja de pelear o te paso una bala por el cerebro! Stop fighting or I put a bullet through your brain!" The press of cold metal against your temple had you freezing where you stood before you were roughly shoved into a chair with the gun still pointed at your skull, keeping you still.

You tried to remember what Javi had told you to do if you were ever in one of these situations. "Do whatever they say, Hermosa. If they ask you what you know, you do not tell them anything. They will kill you the moment they don't need you anymore. Wait for the right moment if you can to fight." Right. Do what they say. Don't answer questions. You could do that.

The man with the gun came closer to you and caressed your face with the back of his hand causing you to jerk away as far as you could. The man's gaze narrowed and he backhanded you across the side of your face, sending you to the ground with your ears ringing. "Don't be a bitch. I'll have to teach you a lesson, then I'll let them have a turn with you, Hermosa." The pet name sent a fresh wave of sobs through your body at the memory of Javi calling you that only hours earlier and the man straddled your thrashing form then pulled out a knife from his jean pocket and cut away at what little remained of your torn dress and undergarments, leaving you entirely exposed to the three men while you fought beneath him.

"Stop! No, don't! Please stop!" You begged as tears flowed down your cheeks and you kicked uselessly a the man pinning you down.

"I told you to stop moving!" The man swung his fist down across your jaw, sending black dots flooding across your vision and make your ears ring once again. "Now hold still or this is gonna be so much worse for you." The man released his grip on your arms to reach for his belt, only for another man to send his boot into your ribs causing you to curl away and let out a wheezing cough.

Just as the man got his button and zipper undone and leaned over you once again you let out a scream and threw your throbbing head forward into the man's nose making a river a blood flow down his face. "You fucking bitch!" He sent his boot into your side again, making your curl up into a ball and gestured to his two men. "Tie her to the chair. Make sure she stays conscious, I want her to know what happened.

The man's words sent your eyes flying open and you immediately kicked and screamed at the hands that grabbed at your bruising arms. "No! Stop! Please, please I'm sorry! I'll do whatever you say, please!" Your screams and begging only brought a sadistic smile to the first man's face when we held up the knife he had earlier and brought the tip to your bare ribs.

He trailed the blade with just enough pressure to draw blood down to your exposed stomach and pressed the tip deeper into your skin and dragged the blade down, forcing a scream from your throat. He did this a few more times before he pulled the bloody knife away from your stomach and up to your cheeks to cut a deep line across both. He leaned forward to whisper in your ear while his hands roamed your bare body, "You look much prettier with that. Look at your pretty little stomach, Hermosa." He forced you to look down at where he had cut into your skin and your sobbed at the markings left there, AJS; the man had carved his fucking initials into your stomach.

Just as the man grabbed at your body again deafening gunshots rang out and the man's body slumped forward against your own while blood from his head and chest spilled across your skin. The two other men barely had enough time to raise their own weapons before more gunshots sounded and they slumped to the floor as well.

You looked down at the body in your bare lap and your tormentor's blank eyes stared back at you. You let out a scream and yanked at your bindings in an attempt to get away from the body, but you only managed to thrash enough to knock your chair backwards and fall to the side when you heard thundering footsteps rush into the room. You forced your eyes as closed as tight as they would go in an effort to ignore what you new was sitting right in front of you. Your body wouldn't stop shaking.

Suddenly hands were on your bare skin and you let out another piercing scream, unable to process the much more familiar grasp that pulled you upright and cut away the ropes on your wrists and ankles. "Shh, Hermosa, it's me. It's Javi." You were still shaking and sobbing when he pulled his jacket off to cover your exposed body and you still wouldn't open your eyes open from their sealed position. "Look at me, Hermosa, look at me."

You finally pealed your eyes open at his soft voice and saw the man kneeling in front of you. "Javi?"

He nodded and made sure your gaze stayed on him when he lifted you up out of the chair. "Yeah it's me, hermosa. You're okay now. you're safe."

At the sound of that name you flinched and new tears sprung to your eyes. "Please don't call me that anymore. H-he called me that."

Javi's jaw clenched and anger flared in his brown eyes but he nodded and continued walking you out of the house to where an ambulance sat outside the building. He set you down on the back of the open vehicle so the medics nearby could check you over but you gripped his hand as hard as you could the moment he let go of you.

"Please don't leave me alone, I can't be alone right now." Your hand shakes where it grips his and you can't help but stare at the cuts and bruises littering the skin there. It all seemed much more real now that you could see the marks on your skin. Your skin. The man had carved his fucking initials into your skin. You looked down and moved Javi's jacket away from your stomach to stare down at where your hip began. Blood covered the wound but you knew what was there. You lifted your hand to try and reveal the marks in a moment of morbid curiosity but-

"Querida, don't." Javi's voice pulled you from your thoughts. "I'll stay with you however long you need, but you can't touch it. Try not to look at it if that helps, alright? Estarás bien, te lo prometo. You'll be okay, I promise." You just nodded and Javi held your hands while the medic checked you over and cleaned and bandaged your wounds.

The medic informed you that you shouldn't be left alone for a few days and that you'd have to change your bandages twice a day, but you were cleared to go without having to go to the hospital.

"You'll be ok staying with me right, querida? You can't be alone and I don't want you out of my sights." You nodded silently to answer his question which only made him furrow his brows and concern took over his face, but he said nothing and just guided you over to his jeep.

The two of you drove in silence for about ten minutes before you spoke for the first time in well over an hour. "Javi?"

"Sí?"

You swallowed hard and stared down at your still shaking hands. Why won't they stop shaking? "I'm sorry for all this. If I didn't try to be so controlling with you earlier and if I didn't go and get drunk like a fucking idiot you wouldn't had to have dealt with me and-"

"Darling. Stop it. Stop thinking for one second that any of this is your fault. You aren't controlling, you care and I didn't know how to act because of it and that is no excuse for any of the absolute shit I said, by the way. And you aren't an idiot, you are the smartest person I know and you just did what anyone would do after a long day. The only people to blame are the hijos de puta that did this to you. So please, darling, for both our sakes don't blame yourself." He had just pulled up to your apartment when he stopped speaking and he parked before turning to face you.

Tears streamed down your face and the tight feeling in your chest was back from earlier and your fucking hands wouldn't stop shaking. "He marked me, Javi..." You whispered in between sobs as your shoulders shook. You looked up just to see Javi's face fall apart.

"He did what?" His voice came out a broken whisper full of pain for you.

"He marked me! He took a knife and carved his goddamn initials into my skin! He made sure it would scar so that I can't ever forget! What kind of sick fucking psycho does that shit?" Your sobs came faster and Javi hopped out of the car and ran to your door, pulling you into his arms.

"Baby, I'm so fucking sorry. I know that doesn't do shit, but you didn't deserve a single second of what you went through. You know that right?" You nodded and let him pull you out of the car as he ushered you upstairs to his apartment.

Once the door was closed and locked behind you two, you steeled yourself and forced away your tears before turning to face Javi again. You would not waste anymore tears on the fucker who did this to you, he didn't even deserve a thought. You wanted to set things right between you and Javi and if what happened today is what that takes, so be it."Javi. I love you, and I'm sick of your shit."

Shock filled the man's face across from you and he shook his head. This was the first time saying those words to him and the circumstance seemed less than ideal. "Querida what are you saying?"

"I love you so goddamn much and I know you love me and you just won't say it. I will not stick around if it's going to be more of the same as what it has been. You will either take me on a date when I'm over all this bullshit and make what we are official, or I'm getting my stuff and leaving." You stared Javi dead in the eyes and narrowed your gaze when his face split into a grin and he let out a short bark of laughter.

"There you are, baby."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Javi just grinned wider and shook his head before he wrapped you in his arms and pressed a kiss to your temple. You melted into his grasp but confusion still filled you.

"You've had this... this look on your face after everything like you're not quite here but you are now. That's great, baby. And just so we're clear, I will take you on a date the second you are feeling up to it. Then I will take you back here and you can officially move in after I spend hours making up for everything stupid thing I have done or said to you." His voice had taken on a slight seductive whisper at the end that sent a small shiver through you and you grinned as you wrapped your bruised arms around him.

"That sounds perfect, Javi. Now let go of me because I really need a fucking shower or I'm never going on that date with you." The reminder of the blood and grime still on you from the events of the night made you shudder and the mood changed instantly but Javi just nodded and squeezed your hand in reassurance as he walked with you towards the bathroom. He would be with you through everything and he would help you get through this.

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 9: Mika In The Middle

Season 1 Masterlist

Click for vibes

Word count : 20k (eek)

~The Man's Nest~

To say Ray was furious was an understatement. 

Ray was unstoppable. No matter how hard (y/n) and Schwoz tried to calm him, he was like a volcano ready to erupt, muttering and grumbling under his breath because of a minuscule incident. 

Well, maybe not minuscule, not when he had happily snuggled with his sweet girl in their bedroom. Everything was right in the world; no crimes were being committed, nothing was in danger, and for once, the couple could enjoy a quiet night in. Or at least, they were until a little news report came in. 

He leapt from the bed, ignoring his wife and the TV playing in the background, in favour of running from the room, leaving (y/n) speechless and confused. Sure, she knew it meant a great deal to him, but did he have to stop rubbing her feet?

"Sweet cheese, doofus, will you just calm down?" The woman asked her husband as she chased after him through the halls, barely keeping up with his long strides. 

Ray wouldn't stop for anybody or anything, not even when the fuzzy-haired genius tagged along from out of nowhere - curious about the noise. He nearly mowed Schwoz down, knocking his little body over like a bowling pin, not that he cared. All he wanted was to get to the main Man's Nest room as fast as possible, with his downtime with his pretty girl a long-forgotten memory. 

"I won't calm down, sweet girl," answered the hero, giving her a sharp glare, although it was more directed at his newfound problem than anything she'd done. If anything, he appreciated how she chased after him, practically jogging to keep up as her little hands clutched his meaty bicep like an anchor. 

"You saw what happened, and I can bet who did it!"

"You don't know for sure, though!" Argued Schwoz, skipping along as they reached the tube pad. They stepped on it, waiting to be sucked upward, but the sudden blast-off didn't spare the genius from a scathing look. 

"I don't care," said Ray, a deep frown etched into his handsome features, which made his darling wife pout, given how content they were not ten minutes ago. "When I find out what happened, Schwoz, I swear to God, I'm gonna take that weapon you tell me never to touch, and I'm gonna--"

"You will do no such thing, Raymond!" (y/n) exclaimed, tugging on his doofy arm to try and get the man-child to chill out, but it was useless. "Just take some deep breaths!"

He was lucky he was so handsome in that brightly patterned shirt, and she winced when he yelled over her. Taking a deep breath, Ray threw back his head and bellowed, practically shaking the earth with his screeches as his friends covered their ears. 

"Danger Force! ASSEMBLE!!" One deafening roar later, the four awkward-looking children hovered around Ray. Not because they ran to his every call and beckon but because they'd already convened in the room, having suffered a little accident. 

"Hi," said Chapa innocently, spooking her boss since he didn't notice their presence. 

She, Bose, and Miles stood huddled in the corner near the lockers, looking like the perfect picture of innocence. On the other hand, Mika was alone by the doors, practically shaking in her sneakers as she avoided eye contact.

"Hey, guys..." (y/n) smiled at them and gave a little wave, much to her doofus' irritation. Firstly, he didn't like the attention she gave them, not when it was his huge, muscly arm she was squeezing, and secondly...he knew what those little miscreants did. 

"They don't deserve your pretty smiles, sweet girl..." he growled, clutching his PearPhone and showing it to the expressionless kids with a pointed stare. "I don't suppose any of you know how my Man Truck ended up at the bottom of the Jandy River?!"

It was unfortunate. The woman and Schwoz had to bite their lips to smother their grins when they saw the photo because it hadn't happened to them. It was funny to see that broken, piece-of-garbage rust bucket half submerged in the river. For Ray, though, it was a travesty; the Man Truck was his baby—the first car he ever got, and now, it was ruined. 

God knows how he would salvage it--or explain to the cops how it got there, but he knew who did it without a doubt. If only he knew four irresponsible pre-teens who had access to his garage...

"No..."

"Mind your business," Miles and Chapa replied as Bose and Mika stayed silent. The hero didn't buy any of it, knowing they'd lie through their teeth before admitting what they'd done, but he'd find out. He was too angry not to find out. 

"Okay... Where have you guys been all day?" He asked, only to receive the same vague answers. 

"Church."

"Mind your business."

"I honestly don't know," the kids replied, and they all sounded genuine. To be fair, Miles, Chapa, and Bose were credible liars, meeting the man's eye with no hint of fear or anxiety, while Mika just hoped the ground swallowed her up. 

"All right, I'll start with you," said Ray, gesturing to Miles, who had no problem stepping up to the plate first. He looked calm and composed under scrutiny, glancing at (y/n) as she loitered behind her doofus, softly stroking his muscular back. "You went to church, huh?"

"Yep."

"Which one?"

"Went to three." His replies came quickly and coolly, his face so straight and honest that you wouldn't guess he was lying. Miles didn't even flinch, and (y/n) had to hand it to him when her doofus doubled down. 

"Little church-hoppin'..."

"Lotta church-hoppin'..."

"You sing?" Asked Ray, looking for details since he surely couldn't pull it out of thin air without thinking about it. 

"Couple times."

"Which hymns?"

"Amazing Grace, How Great Thou Art, and a Kanye song," answered Miles, impressing his friends at how speedy he could be. Ray took a moment to ponder his answers, looking as pensively as possible at the kid before relaxing. How could he interrogate past that?

"Okay..." he said before allowing Miles to walk off. Next, he looked at Chapa, unfazed by her signature grumpy frown, as she folded her arms and smiled sarcastically. "How about you?"

"Mind your business," replied the moody girl, and her biting tone was enough to make anyone back off, even the great Captain Man.

"Okay." And just like that, he moved on, not even wanting to attempt to push through that frosty exterior. As Chapa slunk away, Bose gazed cheerfully at his teachers, appearing so densely childlike that it was almost adorable. 

"How about you, Dimples? Know anything about my truck being at the bottom of the river?"

"I don't know anything about anything..." said Bose, a hazy film descending on his blueish eyes as he stared off into nothingness - presumably thinking about puppies or rainbows or something. 

"Honestly, doof, that checks out," whispered (y/n) as she leaned up to her husband's ear, making him shudder at her proximity. 

An arm curled around her waist, keeping her close as the boy ran off with a free-spirited smile. She snuggled up to him, missing the warmth they shared while just channel-surfing in bed, wrapped up in one another. 

Still, despite Detective Ray having interrogated his suspects, he frowned and put a hand on his hip, not missing the desperate girl squirming by the front door. 

"Well, I believe you all..." he said slowly, his arm still slung around his pretty girl as the kids glanced at him and his weirdly cheery attitude. "And now simply to take my incredibly hot wife and leave the room..."

"Doofus, what are you up to?" (y/n) asked quietly, confused as to why he'd marched them upstairs, interrupting an incredible foot massage on her part, only to leave five minutes later. 

Still, the hero kept her walking toward the metal door, merely chuckling in her ear and pressing a kiss to her temple as Danger Force momentarily relaxed. 

"Whatever do you mean, sweet girl?" The hero fluttered his eyelashes at her innocently, which (y/n) didn't buy for a minute. 

"You know what I mean, Raymond," she replied, nudging his ribs as he only pulled her closer. 

"Well, there is one more thing..." But it was long enough for the kids to let their guards down, thinking for a split-second that he'd leave the issue alone, just for him to swiftly turn on his heel - as was his cunning plan all along.

"Mika!" Exclaimed Ray, whipping around to stare at the girl, who'd quietly kept herself beside the door. His suspecting stare made the poor girl want to disappear into the wall, pressing herself into the cool stone as the man-child crept closer. 

"I don't suppose you know anything about how my truck ended up at the bottom of the river, do you?"

Mika said nothing, holding her nerve as her friend willed her to shut her mouth. She closed her eyes tightly, praying Ray would go away. Still, the doofus persisted, squatting onto her level and peering into her nervous face, even as his darling wife rolled her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

"Ray..."

"Mika?" He said, not hearing the heroine as she put her hands on her hips in exasperation. "I love that truck...nearly as much as I love (y/n)--much more than I love Schwoz!"

"Ouch!" Said the genius, looking up from his soldering to pout at the hero, who broke his heart without even knowing it. But that was the adorable idiot all over. 

"And now, it's all wet!" The girl glanced at the PearPhone in Ray's hand, her resolve slipping when she saw the news photo showing the half-submerged truck. 

She couldn't help but feel an overwhelming guilt, keenly aware that lying was not the right thing. But when she looked at the others... Chapa mouthed 'don't' and shook her head, Miles and Bose appearing equally tense, as Mika bit her lip, trying to bottle everything up until she just couldn't. 

"It was us!" Shouted the girl. She tried but caved, much to her friends' frustration and anger. 

"Oh, come on!"

"I knew it!" Ray sneered as he glared at the troubled girl, who paced back and forth from the steps as the truth poured out of her like a waterfall. 

"Mika..." said (y/n), shaking her head at not just her but the other kids. She was disappointed, not because of the truck; as far as she was concerned, that thing could sink, and she wouldn't miss it, but because they straight-up lied. And what was the point if she wasn't going to at least make it believable?

"How on earth did you ditch the truck in the Jandy River?"

"Okay, so you know how fast food always tastes better in a car?" Asked the girl with a slight sniffle, utterly distraught after being caught. 

"Of course," answered Ray as he came down the few steps to join his wife, grabbing her by the hip and pulling her close. 

"So, we ordered some Nacho Ball from the close one, not the nice one, and we brought it back, but it didn't taste right," explained Mika, who slowly descended into a mad rant as she spilt the truth. 

"So, we decided to teleport inside the Man Truck, but it still didn't taste right, so we blasted some music, and that seemed to do the trick."

"Good call," muttered Ray as he thoughtfully patted his wife's butt, absorbing the lurid tale. They glanced at each other, with (y/n) resting her head against her husband's shoulder as she wondered where Mika was going with this. 

"And the food was so good, and then this song, Proud Mary, came on..."

"A classic," noted (y/n) with a slight shrug.

"The song talks about rolling on a river, and then, we looked up who Tina Turner is, and we found out she moved to France and passed away recently, and then, Miles said, NO!, and we all teleported into the river!"

She finished by thrusting her arm into the air - just like her brother did to activate his superpower - and it all became clear. Mika looked defeated as she panted after her rambling speech, not wanting to look at the others since they were undoubtedly glaring - and Ray as bad enough. 

"Well, I am very disappointed..." he said solemnly, placing his hands on his trim waist as Miles groaned. The kids braced themselves for a telling-off, only...it never came. 

"...in Mika."

"What?!" The girl gasped as Miles, Chapa, and Bose grinned, celebrating because, shockingly, they weren't in trouble. On the other hand, she was furious--at least hoping her honesty would lessen the punishment. 

"I told you the truth!"

"True, you did, which is a good thing." (y/n) nodded, looking at the hulking man beside her with a perplexed expression. "What gives, doof?"

"She also snitched, sweet girl, and that's bad," replied Ray, giving his young sidekick a telling stare as if his reasoning was sane or fair. 

"That makes no sense!" Said Mika, who glanced at the woman he kept close by his side, hoping she could help her case. She didn't mind the punishment, but it could be doled out equally. "(y/n), please, tell him!"

"Well, technically, lying is an essential part of being a superhero," said the woman sheepishly, wringing her hands together and twisting the rings on her fingers while trying to placate her upset protégé. 

"We lie to protect who we are and what we do."

"Exactly. That's why half the moms in this town think Ray Manchester is a fighter pilot," said Ray in a dramatic voice, smirking as if he was proud of himself, but it just made his pretty girl roll her eyes and pout. 

"That just sounds like lying to impress women," answered Miles, who gave his friend a sympathetic smile, not that (y/n) let it bother her too much. 

She elbowed her doofus and smiled sweetly, knowing deep down that he wouldn't dare date anyone else - not that Ray really wanted to. 

"Eh..." The heroine shrugged, giggling at Ray's gulp when he recognised that look. As if he could ever hurt someone so lovely... "They're not so impressed when I tell them he flies for the Swellview Kite Fighting Society."

"Sweet girl..." Ray pouted, having wondered why so many women gave him stares like he was a weirdo - but apparently, they thought he was. Still, he didn't care when he got to call her his beloved wife, who knew he was much more than a stupid fighter pilot. 

"We need to be able to trust that you can lie," said (y/n), bringing their main point back, which only made Mika moan and hunch over like she had a tummy ache. 

"Give her a letter!" Exclaimed Chapa - perhaps a little too excitedly since her friend was in trouble, but she'd always been a little sadistic. 

"No!"

"To the Snitch Board!" Ray declared, clapping his hands as the kids - all except Mika - cheered. 

It was one of his sillier ideas, born with the theory that it would motivate the children to hone their lying abilities, but Mika couldn't. She was too morally pure, with the need to be honest built into her DNA, so she had a vast disadvantage compared to Chapa. That girl told lies so filthy, black, and dark that she was on par with a politician. 

"Way ahead of you," said Schwoz from his little workstation as he pressed a button on his remote control. He activated the holographic screen, showing the Snitch Board, as Ray named it. 

It showed Miles and Chapa safely in the lead, whilst Bose was slightly behind, with one S out of six letters, which wasn't bad. Mika was sinking, having accumulated four letters already, spelling S-N-I-T on the screen, so it was only a matter of time before her line was complete. 

"Why do we even do this, doofus?" Asked (y/n) with a small sigh as she observed the board, although judging by the excitement in the man's movements, she already knew the answer. 

"'Cause it's fun, sweet girl! Watch!" Replied Ray, rubbing his hands together wickedly as he turned to Mika, almost evilly loving her disgruntled pout. "According to this, you've snitched one, two, three, four times already!"

"The ketchup stain I made on the couch..." said Miles, recounting how his sister couldn't wait to tell (y/n/n) about the mishap - a scourge on her beautifully clean furniture. And nothing the girl said would fix that broken trust. 

"But--"

"The raccoon fight club I was running in the basement!" Added Chapa, her soulless glare telling of her inner fury more than anything else. And she was making so much money with that fight club.

"That was horrible!"

"Yeah, but, in fairness, Mika... The first rule about fight club is you don't talk about fight club," said (y/n), who tried to hide her smile because it wasn't helping the girl's case, especially when the snitching incidents kept coming. 

"That I import illegal hair products from China to maintain my luscious locks."

"And I do the same thing," said Ray, agreeing with Bose that their hair was beautiful—so fluffy and shiny. However, with the doofus, it was more about staying young, fit, and fabulous, while with the kid, it was just his routine. 

"Those were both literally crimes!" Mika argued with a disbelieving scoff, hating how everyone seemed to gang up on her when she was just a sweet, truth-telling girl. Still, none of those qualities would protect her from a would-be villain, which spurred Ray into action, even if he loved it anyway. 

"Mika!" He exclaimed, but not before turning to his beloved wife with a slight, puzzled frown. "Last name..."

"Macklin, you big doofus..." answered (y/n), who rolled her eyes at how he didn't remember - months into knowing the children. 

"Mika Macklin!" Finally, he said it correctly, and at that point, the poor girl just accepted her fate, even if she had to bite her tongue until it almost bled to do so. "For snitching for a fifth time, you receive...another letter!"

"Ha!" Her twin cackled, pointing at the screen like a disparaging child when a C was added to her ever-filling row. She was so close to spelling SNITCH, a nerve-wracking thing for her, but for the others? 

"You hate to see it!" They didn't care. 

"Ooh, one more snitch, and you get an E!" Ray taunted her, putting his large hands on his trim waist with sheer confidence, only to get a weird look from his sweet girl. 

"H, doof..." She corrected him quietly, pretending she was merely hanging onto his beefy arm for the sake of it when she was fixing his poor literacy skills. Well, and perhaps she wanted to squish his arms...

"And then..."

"The shoes of shame!" Said Chapa, a mischievous smirk growing on her features after being promoted by the boss. 

She leaned over from where she'd been sitting on the back of the couch, jeering at her stricken friend as Mika finally crumbled. She felt physically sick at the thought, but they insisted the punishment fit the crime. 

"You have to wear the ugliest shoes known to man for an entire week!" Schwoz added impishly, creeping over from where he'd been soldering because he couldn't help but join in the teasing. 

Miles was the one who fetched them, dramatically cracking open a shoebox to reveal possibly the whitest, plainest, most boring sneakers his sister had ever seen - and she'd seen some shockers. The mere sight of them gave her a jumpscare, and for a second, she swore a little bit of vomit leapt into her mouth. 

"No! Those are hideous! They're so plain and white!" She whimpered, feeling her hands shake as the ugly shoes were passed from Miles to Schwoz, who tossed them to (y/n), who dropped them like a hot potato into her doofus' hands. Yeah, no, she wouldn't be caught dead in them, either. 

"Yeah, then don't snitch!" Said the superhero as he waved the pair in front of her face like a piece of rotten trash he'd found on the side of the road, making the girl recoil instantly. 

"Okay!" She huffed, folding her arms once the sneakers were discarded. 

She didn't know why they all made a big deal out of it - and (y/n) just seemed to let her husband run riot - but at least she'd noticed their surroundings amongst the chaos. Or, instead, she'd noticed someone lingering on the doorstep. 

"Well, I don't want to be a snitch or anything, but there's a kid looking at us through the glass doors!"

"Where'd he come from?" Asked (y/n) with a confused frown. 

She could swear she recognised the little boy, but she couldn't put her finger on it, not when her heart hurt when he stood out in the cold, shivering his little butt off. Typically, any visitors to the Man's Nest were held in contempt - no one was supposed to be able to approach without clearance - but she saw no harm from a child. Ray, though, did not get the memo. 

"I don't know, sweet girl, but let's punch first and ask questions later!" The man growled, clenching his fists at the thought of invaders--those stupid enough to challenge him in his own home, and he didn't care if they used innocent kids as decoys. 

"Exactly!" Chapa agreed wholeheartedly as sparks flew from her fingertips, and she joined him in storming toward the door...only for Schwoz to get there first. 

"No, no, no, no!" He exclaimed, raising a hand to stop them from attacking what he knew to be a friendly face. "It's my nephew, Zed!"

"Oh, I remember him now..." muttered the heroine as the genius hurried to pull his relative into the warm indoors. "But he's definitely grown..."

She recalled meeting him several times when Schwoz's kooky relatives invaded the Man Cave. Still, there was something different about him now, and it wasn't the Hawaiian shirt in near-sub-zero temperatures. 

"What are you doing here?! You could catch a cold out there--you don't have your baby beard anymore!"

"Baby beard?" Asked Chapa, looking at her teachers as they observed from afar, totally unfazed since they were used to this shit by now. 

"Schwoz's family..."

"Total freaks..." Ray and (y/n) replied dryly, knowing the arrival of the small man's nephew only meant some little familial issue that the hero could not be bothered with. Instead, he would much rather spend time with his precious wife, curling an arm around her waist as she pressed against his side, loving how his bicep felt around her. 

"He brought me a message can from Mama!" Said Schwoz after muttering a few words with Zed, and he showed them the small tin he'd received. Obviously, cell phones had yet to reach Schwoz Land. "This is either really good news or really bad!"

"Ten bucks says it's bad..." mumbled (y/n) to her doofus as everyone gathered around the genius, wanting to hear the so-called message can. She was never one to speak poorly about others, knowing it wasn't very nice, but Schwoz's mother? She was an interesting woman, to say the least.

Ray couldn't help but agree, feeling his gut tense with butterflies as his handyman cracked the can open with a satisfying sizzle. Then, it all came pouring out like the worst sob story of all. 

"It's really bad!" An accented voice wailed as it came from the can, sounding much like Schowz's, save with a female tone. His brows furrowed upon hearing the familiar sound of his mother, and that's when Zed quickly made his exit, knowing what was coming next. 

"Schwoz, it's Mama!" The wailing continued, with Ray scoffing under his breath upon hearing that god-awful screeching right when he had to give ten dollars to his wife. She would buy them smoothies or ice cream later. "I don't want you to worry for me..."

"Sick turn coming..." muttered Ray to (y/n) and Chapa, who knew it was terrible when the lovey-dovey doofus preferred to fold his arms rather than hang off his lover's body. 

Instead, the heroine comforted him, lovingly squeezing his forearm because she knew this would only put him in a foul mood - much worse than when he found out about the truck. 

"But I'm sick!"

"Told ya..." Ray rolled his eyes and leaned some weight on his wife, glad for her support because he knew that devil woman would return eventually. She always did - as regular as a German clock - and it was always the same, conniving trick in one way or another. 

"My doctor says I have melty bones!" Mrs Schwoz explained in a woe-is-me tone, pulling a dismissive scoff from the doofy hero. Luckily, it was drowned out by the loud gasps from Schwoz and the children, who would have lynched him for being so callous if they had heard. 

"Melty bones runs in my family!" Schwoz said, clamping a hand over his mouth in shock at the awful news of a disease known only in his homeland. 

"Yes, you should get checked..." his mother told him, which was slightly strange since the message could only allow recordings, but she'd always been a tricky one—like a witch, as Ray would say. 

"Please, come home to Mama! I need you!" Her final wails deepened Schwoz's torment, keenly aware that he could not abandon his mother in her hour of need, but he knew Ray and how much he hated goodbyes. "Okay...how do I hang this thing up? It's probably this big button that says hang up!"

It was a conundrum, and unfortunately, the man-child saw how seriously his friend was considering doing as Mama Schwoz said. Deep down, he would hate to watch him go, knowing how much the place needed him, yet it didn't help how infuriating that woman was. 

"Ugh, how did I miss it?--" Ray had heard enough. 

Not wanting to listen to another second of her aggravating voice, he snatched the message can from Schwoz's hands, tossed it onto the floor, and stamped on it--several times until it was very, very flat. Just to make sure she wouldn't come back. 

"Okay, doofus, let's calm down now..." said (y/n) soothingly. She hooked him by the bicep and pulled him back to her like a wandering, tantrum-throwing child. She gave him something to focus on, encouraging him to wrap her up in a bear hug and nuzzle her neck, allowing the sweet scent of her shampoo to numb his fury. 

"Schwoz, I'm so sorry..." said Mika sympathetically, a hand on her heart since she couldn't imagine what it must have been like for the genius to go through that. 

"Yeah, I'm sorry, too, pal..." Ray added, and for a brief, shining moment, his darling wife actually thought he was being sincere and thoughtful toward Schwoz for once. She should have known better. 

"...That you can't go visit her."

"What?" The kids shrieked at him, aghast at how heartless he was, as he simply scooped the crushed can up from the floor to put in the trash can. Sure, they knew the guy was emotionally constipated, but even for him, it seemed so harsh...

They looked to (y/n) for help, knowing she was the only one he ever expressed genuine feelings for - very openly - but even she seemed taken aback. And that was saying something; she knew Mama as well as he did and possibly disliked her just as much, but he could have used a little more tact. 

"Raymond, that's not very nice!" The heroine told him sternly, remembering how they'd discussed that not last week. If he wanted to have friends, he had to be friendly, which meant being gracious, even when things didn't go his way. "We talked about this!"

"Yeah, darlin', and we also talked about how he's already used up all his vacation days when he just had to get his appendix out! Couldn't wait until Thanksgiving!" The man argued, giving her a grumpy frown because, deep down, he knew he would lose the fight. 

Ray was not as heartless as he had pretended to be, and she saw the vulnerability underneath; if only he had been as honest with everyone else as she was with her...

"Doofus, that's the trash..." said the woman coolly as she watched him throw the can into the everyday wastebasket--when the recycling was irritatingly close beside it. 

"So?" He muttered petulantly, stomping away from the bins with no intention of making it right. 

"You and me are gonna fall out, doofus..." answered (y/n) warningly, lightly slapping his muscly arm just to make him watch his tone. Still, she couldn't blame him too much, also feeling sinking in her tummy at the thought of Schwoz's Mama and all the trouble she usually brought. 

"But it's his mom!" Mika exclaimed insistently, unafraid to confront her moody boss since she felt bad for the little fella. "And she's got melty bones!"

"Oh, she always does this!" Ray scoffed in response, throwing his hands up in frustration because they were unbelievably naive. 

What? They thought they could hang out in the Man's' Nest for two seconds and suddenly know more than he did? He'd known Schwoz for many years, and issues with his mother started not a month after they began their work together. 

"She always calls him home because she's sick, and when he gets there, she comes up with fifty reasons why he can't leave! Tell them, sweet girl!"

"I mean, technically, it's true," said (y/n) with a slight shrug, although she would have preferred to stay out of it. Ray would always want her on his side, though. "She is quite high maintenance."

"Exactly, and then, I've got no Schwoz for, like, two, maybe, one whole day!"

"I'm the most heartless one here..." replied Chapa, raising her hand in confession, and no one would argue with her on that one, even as the hero proved his inexplicable harshness. "But that's pretty cold, my dude."

Taking a moment to think about what the girl said and noticing his wife's firm glance, Ray put his palms together in a prayer-like pose and pressed his fingertips to his lips in thought. Perhaps it was cruel, but they couldn't know how much he was hurting, so he turned to Schwoz with a flat expression. 

"Okay...you can either go home now or for her tasteful memorial service. Your choice."

"You married this man?" Miles muttered to (y/n), and she was a little bashful to see his judgy, bombastic side-eye. 

"Yes?" she answered, sounding slightly unsure since it was hard to guess what the boy wanted to hear. For all his silly tantrums, she knew and loved him more than anyone. "He's actually a sweetheart underneath all the...that."

"Hard to believe..." muttered Chapa, although her glare didn't phase the hero. He rebuffed her moody words, rolled his eyes at Mika's blatant disgust, and unfolded his arms. 

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go dry my truck out!" Screeched the doofus, who glowered at the kids one last time before stomping away through the metal door. "You comin', sweet girl?"

"Yeah, I'll be right there, doof!" The heroine called after him, although she deemed it wise to let him go ahead and cool off. It left her with the children and Schwoz, with the latter feeling a little bit broken by his boss' response. 

"That dude really gives no hecks!" said Bose as the genius dramatically fell to his knees, releasing a long, loud wail—similar to his mother's whining. 

His face turned red as he screwed it up, the sobs wracking his body, and immediately, Mika and (y/n) rushed to comfort him. 

"Schwoz?" The girl asked quietly, barely audible above the noise of the man's heartache. Still, when Mika was talking to him, Schwoz recovered mighty quickly. 

"Yeah, Snitch?" He answered, looking up at her with bright, clear eyes - the very opposite of seconds prior when he was crying his eyes out. It took everything Mika had in her not to give him something to really cry about. 

"I was just going to say we will do anything to help you see your mama..." the girl said kindly, and she crouched beside him to squeeze him tight. 

A stern glance at her friends brought the others over, too. They professed their love for him as they piled up into one big bundle of friendship. They agreed to do whatever they could, knowing that if Ray wasn't going to help, someone had to--and it might as well be them. 

(y/n) thought it was unbelievably sweet, holding her precious babies in her snuggly hug until loud, plodding footsteps approached...

"Sweet girl! You said you were coming!" A whiny voice shouted for her, sounding distinctly like her beloved husband, who'd grown needier with every second they'd been apart. 

Having wandered to the garage alone, Ray waited two seconds and decided it was too long to go without the love of his life, so he retraced his steps to the main room. Skipping up to the metal door, eager to see his sweet girl again, he poked his head through--only to see his loathsome handyman hogging her sweetness to himself. 

"Schwoz! Quit hugging The Snitch and my wife, and come help me!" He barked, spooking the group into untangling themselves. 

"Okay, okay, doof, we're coming!" (y/n) yelled back as she rose from the group hug, rolling her eyes at her lover's neediness - albeit with a lovestruck smile. 

"Sorry, guys. We'll have to think about this later. You comin', Schwozie?"

Schwoz scuttled after her, wisely choosing to hide behind her back since it meant Ray wouldn't bother with him, not with his pretty girl around. He could quietly deal with the truck while they did the smoochy-smoochy in the corner, but if it saved him from a telling-off, he'd keep his vomit to himself. 

The kids, however, knew they'd have to meddle, even if it went against their mentor and boss. It was the right thing to do - what true superheroes would choose - but it meant they'd have to be sneaky. 

A little trickery and espionage would be required.

~The next day~

Ray and (y/n) didn't see the kids after that. 

They assumed they went home since there were no emergencies, and nothing in the Man's Nest needed doing that Miss Danger couldn't handle, so she and Ray went to bed. 

What was new there?

It wasn't until the next day - a perfectly ordinary, regular day in Swellview - that they did the rounds with Schwoz, doing whatever Ray ordered. And like usual, Ray didn't actually do anything useful; it was (y/n) who did the laundry, meal-prepped, helped the fuzzy coconut man tinker with some machines, and vacuumed the long, winding corridors.

Her doofus just stood there, looking all cute and handsome. That was his job. His job was doof. 

At last, though, they were finished, and, in a little group, they headed up to the main room of The Nest, taking the tube as Ray rabbitted on about this, that, and everything insane. And, of course, his handyman and the sweet girl just listened, knowing he'd find something to entertain himself soon - if a call didn't come in first. 

"I need you to take my toenail clippings and scatter them so my enemies can't use them to curse me," Ray rambled on, spouting some superstitious mumbo-jumbo as he walked hand-in-hand with his beloved wife. 

"You really believe that, doofus?" Asked (y/n), smiling up at him with affection gleaming in her eyes since he was too cute for his own good. Stupid, but undeniably cute. 

"Of course, darlin'!" He replied brightly, squeezing her hand tighter as they walked down the steps from the tube. "But make sure you save one in case I ever turn--"

"MAMA?!" A sudden shout from Schwoz had Ray shutting his mouth, and when the genius left his side with a cry of glee and a silly little run, his heart dropped to his stomach. 

All his nightmares seemed to materialise in the middle of the room, culminating in his dumb child sidekicks, with shit-eating grins on their faces, sitting on a wacky bed piled high with all manner of furs and blankets. Beside them, a hideously ugly and bizarre woman with wrinkly, baggy skin and long, grey hair piled up on her head in a ridiculous up-do - plus a little sprig of something green and leafy. 

She, the woman, smiled at Schwoz and smirked at Ray, whose jaw clenched and hand tightened further around his sweet girl's upon it, recognising the bitch instantly. And she was a bitch. She was the stuff of his darkest dreams. 

"Schwozie!" she exclaimed, welcoming Schwoz into her arms as he leapt onto the bed like a little boy—but not before doing a weird hand motion thing. And why wouldn't he? She was, after all, his mother, whom he hadn't seen in many a month. 

As they had their weird, little reunion, petting and patting each other most strangely, Ray snapped his fingers at Danger Force, his stern stare ordering them to his side so they could explain themselves. 

"Oh, this isn't good..." muttered (y/n), rubbing her hand against her temple as the children waddled over, seemingly proud of themselves for letting that woman in despite everything they had said. 

"Who's responsible for this?! Huh?!" Ray frowned, practically pinning the kids with his frosty glare, but they didn't back down; Miles was as calm as ever, Chapa was her usual grumpy self, Mika buzzed nervously beside her brother and Bose...he was just vacant.

"Mika? You feelin' a little snitchy?"

"Oh, I think you know that I am!" Hissed the girl in reply, hating how he knew her weakness, but she and her friends had discussed this during their devious little plan. She wouldn't break and snitch - at least not at first.

"I'll tell you who brought her here--me! Miles Macklin!" The boy said proudly, placing his hands on his hips and smiling off into the distance. 

"Ooh! Ooh! He snitched on himself! Give him an S!"

"S!" Bose shouted, kicking his leg into the air to contort himself into a shape that looked nothing like an S, but Mika's excitement was short-lived. 

"Doesn't count if you snitch on yourself," answered (y/n) dryly, knowing that the principle was the integrity side of everything - it was one thing to tell the truth about yourself, but to rat on a friend? That was something that Ray didn't want in his Man's Nest, much to the girl's disappointment and frustration. 

"Who makes up these rules?!"

"Duh, Ray..." said the woman with a silly grin, and she wrapped her arms around her doofus' bicep to squeeze it like a teddy bear. He was not happy, frowning and pouting as he glanced over his shoulder to check on Schwoz and their uninvited guest, glowering when he saw how weirdly they snuggled.

"Look..." said Miles, seeing how angry his boss was. 

Even (y/n), with her kind heart and fair judgement, didn't seem very pleased about the woman currently occupying her home with that enormous, hideous bed. "After a number of unsuccessful attempts to teleport to Schwoz's home country..."

"Eighty-three," said Chapa sarcastically, her monotone honesty making the boy throw a quick glare at her for interrupting and shaming him. 

"Not important. I made it there and brought her and her melty bones back here so she could see her son because we love Schwoz! And yeah, she screamed a lot when I grabbed her, and yeah, she tried to scratch me with one of her little melty arms, and--where was I going with this?"

"To Crazy Jail for kidnapping, judging by that rant," answered (y/n), folding her arms upon hearing the way they went behind her and Ray's back, concocting such an elaborate plan to bring Schwoz's mother to The Nest, not knowing what a pain in the ass she could be. 

Of course, like many children, they were deluded by their assumption of how nice the world appeared to be, having hardly had a go at life. So Chapa stepped forward and snapped at them, too. 

"She's a normal, sweet mom who just wants to see her son!" She argued although Ray begged to differ. 

"She is rubbing his belly like a dog," replied the superhero, jabbing his thumb toward the mother-and-son duo, who were certainly doing just that. She tickled his tummy, and Schwoz loved it. He stuck his tongue out and panted like a puppy, the weirdest thing any of them had seen in a while. 

"Yeah, that's a little weird..." Said Miles, frowning at the bizarre exchange, particularly when Schwoz shook his leg and barked lowly and gruffly, but he was not one to judge. Ray, on the other hand...

"It's a lot of weird! I can't stand that lady!" He told them, suddenly looking a little distraught as he recalled all the unfortunate times he'd met Mrs Schwoz's Mom, and there had been a lot over the years. "She's always trying to find ways to body-shame me, or throw food at me, or break me and (y/n) up!"

"Raaaaaaaaaaay!" But before he could elaborate and give examples, of which there were dozens, a shrill, accented voice called out to him from behind. 

It seemed so lovely, coated in saccharine to make it seem friendly. Still, he knew it was anything but, taking his wife's hand for moral support and turning around with an even faker smile. 

"Mama Schwozzzzzz!" Said Ray, turning around with (y/n), wearing the brightest, tightest smiles they could muster as they faced the dragon of a woman. God, she thought of herself like a queen, sitting on that pile of fur and silk with her stupid, poofy hair, and her arrogance really pissed him off. 

"Oh, have you gained weight?" And those snide, backhanded comments, too. So damn bitchy, but that was her all over. 

"I've gained muscle! And, actually, that weighs more than fat, so..." Ray replied as (y/n) protectively curled her arms around his trim waist and hugged her precious doofus. She didn't care what size he was, but Captain Man was the fittest, hottest man she'd ever met; Mama Schwoz was just mean. 

"Maybe..." The woman shrugged before turning her crinkled gaze toward the girl at his side, liking her more than that idiot for whom her son worked. Still, she thought lovely (y/n) could do much better than him, thinking Ray Manchester punched ten leagues above himself when he pulled a girl like her. 

"(y/n)!"

"Hello, Mama Schwoz..." said the heroine shyly. Her husband gently took her hand this time, allowing her to feel his wedding band. 

He was braced for it, but it still stung when that judgemental stare came their way, eyeing their matching rings and huffing. It made the man feel a little insecure, knowing someone, even if she was insulting, thought he wasn't good enough, and all he ever wanted was the best for his sweet girl. 

"Still hanging out with him?"

"Well, he's still the love of my life." But Ray didn't need to worry about a thing, not when (y/n) turned to him with sparkling eyes, the biggest, lovesick smile, and hearts in her eyes. She stepped a little closer to him, allowing his muscly - not fat - arm to wrap itself around her shoulders as he looked down at her, equally head over heels. 

"And we've been married for four months now. I think we're a little past the hanging-out stage."

"Well, there's still time..." muttered Mama Schwoz, her snake-like gaze sliding to her folded hands as Ray coughed out a choked chuckle, knowing if he didn't hold his tongue, he'd end up saying something unforgivable. 

"Well, this has all been terribly fun, but I'm having a bad time, and these kids have a lot of work to do down at superhero school, so... Mama Schwoz, if you don't mind..."

"I don't mind!" She grinned sourly, deliberately ignoring Ray's not-so-subtle hint for her to just fuck off already, keenly aware that he hated her as much as she despised him. Instead, ignoring his comment, she reached out and stroked Schwoz's belly again, making him pant and shake his leg like a dog. 

The kids just wandered off, happy to leave the genius and his mom alone for some quality time together, but Ray just stood there. His teeth ground together, and his fists clenched, utterly disgusted to see the woman's hold over his handyman. 

The fact that she had the nerve to infiltrate his Man's Nest and start smarting him made it worse, almost to the point where he didn't hear his sweet girl whispering soft words behind him. 

"Doofus? Oh, doooooofus?..." (y/n) called to him, tugging on his arm enough for the hero to tear his eyes away from the revolting sight for a second. 

"What, darlin'?"

"You're gonna burst a blood vessel if you don't chill out," said his wife as she stroked his beefy arm and smiled up at him, fluttering her eyelashes to enchant him as only she knew. 

"Can't help it," muttered Ray, who softened for a minute before returning to glaring at Mama Schwoz. If looks could kill, his brooding, grumpy stare would have her six feet under, much to (y/n)'s amusement.

"You know how much that woman pisses me off."

"Come with me, Ray." A gentle tug on his hand had Ray stumbling toward the metal door before he caught himself, wondering what his sweet girl was up to. She looked at him happily and lovingly, eyes full of innocence and good intentions, but his feet didn't want to move. 

That would mean leaving Schwoz's mother alone to have free run of The Nest, and the thought made him sick to his stomach. And the kids needed schooling; why else would he entertain having them in his life, causing chaos and inviting weird, old women into his home?

So, his mouth moved automatically, and he looked at his pretty girl with a blank stare—as if he didn't know what her dragging him off meant. 

"What?"

"You're stressed out to hell," said (y/n) with a giggle, and this time, a glimpse of mischief crossed her face. She tugged him toward the door again, and Ray followed, tripping over his feet as she smirked and whispered the words that would usually make him run to her. 

"Come with me."

~

"It's not like I don't want Schwoz to see his mom. I do."

Ray muttered as he lay on his bed, propped up against the headboard and a mountain of pillows, blissfully in absolute heaven. He'd been ranting for a solid twenty minutes, his motor mouth never ceasing since his sweet girl dragged him away from Mama Schwoz and her golden boy of a son. His handyman. 

The idea was for him to relax - get all cosy and comfy in a safe environment where they could lock the doors and decompress together. At least, that was (y/n)'s plan. So far, it wasn't going so well. 

"I know, doofus." Her reply was soft and short, more bothered about resting against his bare chest than paying attention to whatever grievance her husband had. She didn't mind hearing him venting but for twenty minutes? About the same old crap? No one could relax with that racket. 

"She's just so annoying. Did you hear what she said to you about us?" said the doofus, hissing through his teeth as he recalled how rude that wrinkly hag had been, daring to imply that his beloved wife might disappear one day. The very thought made his heart hurt, and his lips quiver. 

"There's still time--huh! I'll show her!"

"I know, doof. I was there," (y/n) replied, nuzzling into her neck as she melted into his lap, knees on either side of his hips. Ray's large hands loosely gripped her waist, moving only to gesture wildly to nothing and no one since no one else would entertain his rant. 

Only her, and she was barely listening, anyway. 

"I'll kick her ass, you see if I don't!" He spat, scrunching his nose and wriggling slightly, unintentionally disturbing the precious girl above him. Really, he should've been at total peace, content to just lay there with his wife and admire her beautiful form - given that she was utterly and perfectly naked. 

So was he, having ripped off his tight shirt and jeans and discarded them in a rumpled pile the minute she gave him the order to strip. Usually, he would've had a one-track mind, but Ray couldn't shake the anger instilled in him by Mrs Schwoz's Stupid Mom. 

"Maybe that'll teach her to stop saying mean things about me, too..."

"Uh-huh..."

"Did you see her face when you told her we got married, though?" And he kept going. He would only stop when he'd tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear or rake his fingers down her back, making his sweet girl purr. 

The sound was music to his ears and enough to stroke his ego, remembering how his wife told that bitch about their wedding. The happiest day of his life. 

"I just wanted to shout in her face, that's right, Mama Schwoz! I made this incredibly hot woman my wife, so you can suck it! Yeah!"

"You and I both know you'd never do that, Raymond," (y/n) replied quietly, her words slightly slurred since her cheek was smushed into his chest. 

But she knew Ray, and for all his big talk and dumb ideas, he wasn't actually very good at confrontation. She'd learnt that the first time she met the woman. 

"You're too scared of her."

"I'm not scared, sweet girl!" he argued, pouting petulantly as his arms squeezed her tighter. His nose wrinkled at the thought because Captain Man did not get scared—even if he was allowed to. 

That woman just knew how to needle his insecurities, picking on his looks and most profound, most sacred feelings and making all his emotional progress unravel. His eyes found himself in the mirror across the room, seeing how the beauty laid on his chest like a goddess...and there was him, lurking beneath. 

"And I'm not fat, either..."

"No, you're not." This time, (y/n) perked up. 

While she wasn't interested in discussing Mama Schwoz anymore, the unsure edge in her husband's voice instantly made her sit straighter. It wasn't like him to lack confidence. When she looked into his eyes, palms braced on his impeccable pecs, a flash of insecurity appeared in the crystalline blue. 

"Would you still love me, even if I was?" Ray asked in a heartbreakingly small voice, holding her waist as his gaze broke off to the side. 

"Are you serious right now, Raymond?" His wife asked sharply, an ugly frown appearing on her pretty face, making the hero regret his silly question. 

He disliked anything that made her unhappy, and his insecurities were inconsequential and unnecessary. He was Captain Man. Anything less than perfection was not in his description. 

But then, her frown turned strangely sad as (y/n) felt a stab of offence in her gut. Did people think she was that shallow? 

She cupped his face, bringing his beautiful eyes back to hers and silently swore that if she heard that woman insult him again, Mama Schwoz or not, she would have her head, preferably on a platter. 

"You really think that matters to me?"

"Well..." Ray gulped, knowing his chiselled body and not-so-bad face were ninety per cent of him. Maybe he was brave and strong, but apart from that, he didn't see what else made him special. 

"Well, nothing. I married a sweet, kind, funny, adorably dumb doofus, and I don't care if he's chubby, skinny, or anything in between. I love you for you, Ray, not what you look like."

The smile slowly grew on his face, in tandem with the pinkish blush that spoke of his affection. A soft, fuzzy warmth spread through his belly, travelling lower, higher, and to his heart, turning that frown into a lovestruck gaze. 

"...But it doesn't hurt that you're easy on the eye," whispered (y/n) with a little giggle as she admired his perfectly sculpted face. 

His arms came around her frame, pulling her close - if that were even possible - and they laughed, brushing their lips together until Ray pulled away with a cheeky grin. 

"You're crushin' on me, aren't you?" He said jokingly, fingers brushingly ticklishly up her ribs, making the heroine shriek and scold him. 

"Shut up, you big doofus!"

"Nah, I'm serious, darlin'!" He laughed heartily, leaning forward to smooch up her throat and jawline before looking up at his beloved wife with those big, blue eyes - he looked like such an adorable doofus. "Do you think I'm pretty?"

"So pretty," replied (y/n) with a slight nod. She felt slightly breathless at the handsome man staring up at her, his hands exploring her curves. It was somewhat daunting to have his full attention fixed on her, but it was also exhilarating. Like her tummy was full of butterflies. 

"That's good 'cause I think you're pretty, too," Ray answered softly, gaze drifting down her body and its finer features. 

Her delicate collarbones, then her soft stomach, and south toward the apex of her thighs, which met his. And between them was the greatest gift he could ever receive - his hard, leaking cock pressed deep inside her warm walls, so safe and snug all this time. 

"My pretty girl, with her beautiful face, and gorgeous eyes...and her perfect pussy."

"You know how to flatter a girl, doof." A sigh left (y/n)'s smiling lips, which only grew when Ray cupped her cheeks, settling into the plush pillows just as she had instructed. 

It was all part of her plan to make him forget about all his troubles, and it was working. Mama Schwoz still pissed him off, but how could any man be upset when he had an angel on top of him, ripping her clothes off and straddling him with learned experience? 

Ray certainly couldn't, practically putty in her hands as he smiled like an idiot and focused on the gentle, pleasant sensation of her pussy trembling around him. 

"S'true. Here I am, calm as fuck, even with that wrinkly poodle of a woman in my Man's Nest, and it's all because my perfect fuckin' wife's got her pussy wrapped around me."

"Easiest way to get you to relax, Ray," answered (y/n), adjusting her position, making her walls drag against his length a little. Her nails raked down his chest, causing goosebumps to ripple across his skin, and the hero practically purred. "I'm not having you and her nearly cause World War Three again, not when I've just waxed the floors."

"That was seven years ago, sweet girl," Ray argued as he leaned up to nuzzle further against her neck. His voice turned sharper as he remembered all the tricks and chaos that woman caused - rage simmering with pleasure in the background.

"And she was the one who started it."

"I'll finish it." (y/n) left no room for arguments. 

A roll of her hips - a minuscule movement - had her lover groaning and hissing, grabbing her hips tighter. With his eyes screwed shut, the doofus groaned--almost whining--much to his wife's mischievous smirk when all comments about Mama Schwoz disappeared. 

"F-Fuck, you play dirty," stammered Ray, his gaze rolling to the back of his head when she slowly began to move. 

With expert rolling and undulations, the heroine set an agonisingly slow pace to warm them up. He begged to differ, thinking twenty minutes of cockwarming with her hot cunt twitching around him was enough to make any man feral. 

But he had to lay there and take it, moaning lowly in the back of his throat as (y/n) set the speed she liked, riding him lazily with her hands braced on his toned abs. 

"You like it, though."

"Yeah, I fuckin' do. Got these tits in my face and my girl bouncin' on my cock," he spat, reaching up to tweak her hard nipple, tugging it just to hear her mewl. "Most guys would kill to have this, but you're all mine, right, sweet girl?"

"All yours, doofus!" She panted, already feeling her legs jitter from both the position and the long wait. 

He stretched her out so good when she first slid onto her, engulfing that long, thick cock in her drenched, gummy walls, and it was like torture having to hold off until he shut up. But it was worth it to have him like this; under her, drenched in sweat, so deep in her pussy that it felt like he was in her stomach, and moaning to the rhythm of her rutting against his lap. 

"Pretty pussy..." Ray muttered lazily, a weak spank hitting her ass when the pace increased, and he could feel it coming. His sweet girl was barely paying attention, lost in her own little world as she chased the first of her highs, and it wasn't far off. 

She swallowed his cock too easily, the sound of skin hitting skin and wet slaps filling the room as she bounced and writhed and squirmed, looking to hit the sweetest point just right. 

"She just sucks me in, needs a cock to keep her all happy and wet. Does she want to cum?"

"Uh-huh--wanna cum, doof." Her breathy, whimpering moans had him more whipped than he already was, hands wandering her clammy skin as his hips bucked up, too. The jolt made her tits heave - the prettiest sight that had the hero's eyes turning to slits and drool pooling on his tongue, wanting those perky tips in his mouth. 

"S'pose I should play with your pretty, lil' clit, too, then? She needs attention, too..."

"Ray..." His name fell from her lips, tears gathering in the corner of her eyes as she stopped bouncing, preferring to grind against his public bone when a fat thumb pad suddenly assaulted her clit. 

Their skin stuck together, melded by sweat, but neither cared nor noticed, not when he had his pretty girl exactly where he wanted her, rubbing her slick clit in hot, tight circles. 

"You only get this whiny when you want to cum, sweet girl," Ray said, grinning ferally as he took a hand from his torso, bringing it to his mouth and pulling a finger between his lips. 

He sucked it down to the knuckle before pulling away with a pop, leaving a gentle kiss against her palm when their eyes met again. "Gets me so hard, hearing you say my name like that."

"R-Ray!"

"Fuck, come on. You want me to relax? Then, soak me, sweet girl." His words were the final push to send (y/n) tumbling, crying out as her cunt clamped around his cock and sent fire running through her veins. 

Candied whimpers left her lips as Ray groaned, never stopping the touch against her clit as he let her ride out the high. The nerve and energy it took him not to follow was insurmountable, his head thumping against the wall as he panted through gritted teeth. 

"S-So good, doofus," said (y/n) once the ripples faded out, leaving her jelly-like and feeling too damn good. She slumped down against him, pressing his cock further inside her, nudging her innermost walls, and as she caught her breath, Ray found himself staring at where their bodies met. 

A sheen of shiny slick coated his lower lap from where she'd gushed all around him, creating a sticky mess that made his mouth water. Just the thought of crawling between her legs and cleaning it up had him straining in her pussy, but he'd refrain. 

He wasn't quite finished yet. 

"Yeah? Felt so hot when you came around me." He stroked her soft tummy, finally relenting on her clit and brushing the strands of hair away from her drenched forehead. "You always do."

"Are you relaxed?" (y/n) asked innocently, noting how he fully sunk into the pillows, his large, bulky frame taking up most of the bed. With his muscles and tall stature spreading across the mattress, he looked like a king--surely, that made her a queen if she got to sit atop him. 

"Not quite..." But, in the blink of an eye, the world shifted. 

Ray was relentless in his thirst for his beloved wife, seizing her waist and throwing her onto the mattress, rolling himself on top. In the commotion, his cock fell from her slicked cunt, causing a little gasp to leave their lips as he bobbed between her legs, which swiftly parted to accommodate her big doofus. 

"That's my good girl," whispered the hero as he settled himself in his favourite place in the world, taking himself in his palm and guiding his flared tip back to where it belonged. "Let me fuck my favourite pussy--take my mind off things."

He slipped in effortlessly, aided by the endless sheen coating her lips and thighs, and they groaned in unison. The change in position created a new stretch--a new yet familiar burn--that had (y/n) turning her head to the side, crying into the sheets as Ray began thrusting deeply. 

His lips found her neck, kissing and panting hard at how well she always took him, and if he looked at her pleasure-strewn face now, he knew he'd spill early. So, he kept his movements controlled, bucking into her at a leisurely pace - not too hard, not too fast - as if that would soothe the ache in them. 

"Sh-shit, doof--" she choked out, voice trembling from the force of his body rocking hers, but he was holding back. She could tell. And it was the only thing that would keep her sane if he fucked her gushy cunt hard and strong. 

"Can go harder if you want."

"Really? Think you can handle it?" Ray asked with a shit-eating smirk that masqueraded his lack of self-restraint as cocksure confidence. The tips of his ears burned from the effort of not holding his sweet girl down and ploughing into her, wanting to be buried in all the crannies and crevices that her scorching pussy had to offer. 

"I'm not made of glass..." But the soft, fucked-out smile she gave him was enough to melt his cockiness, and instead, he felt the urge to bury himself inside grow tenfold. 

She looked too cute for this world, his perfect pillow princess, as she laid back and took his cock, even when he doubled down and really fucked her. 

"I fuckin' love you," he whispered hotly against her lips, meeting them in a filthy clash of teeth and tongues before he settled simply touching foreheads together. 

"Love--love you, too," she replied shakily, arms curled around his back as she pressed her face into the side of his head, whimpering and moaning right against his ear. "You fuck me so good, Ray."

"Tell me..." Ray muttered lowly, loving how he could still hear the seat slapslapslap of her sloppy pussy, even above himself and her moans.

When she didn't reply immediately, a pathetic cry fell from her lips, and a hard spank to her outer thigh made her shout, nails digging into his shoulders as he growled into her hair. 

"Tell me how good I am at fucking this pretty, little cunt."

"So fucking good! I love it--love you!" She cried, choked and desperate at his relentless pace and how his heavy frame seemed to pin hers down. "So goof for me, Ray."

"M'so deep... Can you feel me in here? Feel my cock in your tummy, darlin'..." An even heavier hand suddenly rested on her stomach and pushed. All the sensations around her body intensified, making it feel like his cock was punching up into her throat, nudging against his fingertips every time. 

"Don't..." (y/n) whined, tears on her lashes again when her cunt squeezed at the fuller feeling. "Make me cum again..."

"But what if that's what I want?" Ray asked in a saccharine tone, licking a hot strip up her neck, tasting salt and something sweeter - just like his sweet girl. 

Nothing sounded better, wanting to feel the safety and reassuring familiar yet of her walls strangling his cock when he came deep inside her - and it was creeping up on him. 

"Cum around me again, sweet girl, and I can cum for you, too. You want that?"

"Mm-hmm." 

She nodded lazily, feeling the same dull but steadily rising pleasure return to her gut, and this time, it was so much more intense, sending waves of slickness around his length. A ring of creamy whiteness gathered at his base, sucking him deeper as she moaned in the back of her throat and closed her eyes. 

"Fucked so good, you can't even talk..." The man laughed, nosing her soft cheek and sucking a few fleeting bruises into her skin, marking her up as his in his head. 

"S'okay, pretty girl. I got you." Two fingers returned to her clit, snaking between searingly hot, sweaty bodies to circle figures of eight around the drenched nub. More pathetic moans left her precious lips, and Ray felt how close she was, sensing every twitch and tremble from her inner walls. 

"So close..." She gasped, muscles pulling taut and face scrunching as her cunt began to convulse, pulling Ray along for the ride. 

"Me, too--where'd you want me?" He asked, a strained edge creeping into his voice as he got closer and closer, but he had to ask, even as her gushy pussy slowly drained his sanity. 

"Should I paint your walls, or your perfect tits, or your beautiful face?"

"Inside! Make me yours--inside!" Her reply was instantaneous, screeching as the knot in her stomach began to unravel, and his fingers quickened against her clit. 

"My wife knows what I--I like best." Ray chuckled, only for it to get stuck in his throat. He gasped and groaned, feeling his heavy balls tighten and beg to spill, and what better place than deep inside her--where he belonged?

"I'm gonna cum, (y/n)..."

"Do it, Ray. I'm right here..." She pressed her lips to his skin in the final moment, freezing against the bed when he moaned and pressed himself as deeply as he could against her cunt. 

With her legs spread wide around him, he spilt into her spasming pussy, mumbling praises and Iloveyous as rope after rope coated her walls. She milked him dry, whining in the back of her throat as it washed over her like a warm, gentle wave. 

"Fuck..." Ray could barely move, sagging against her soft body as he rumbled like a grizzly bear after too much honey. 

Shivers ran down his spine as her fingers found the hair at the nape of his neck. She scratched his scalp soothingly as he curled into her body and breathed. The room was silent, save for their panting, and for a glorious moment of post-fuck bliss, he barely remembered the woman he dreaded. 

"Better?" (y/n) asked after a few minutes, pressing a soft kiss against his temple that had Ray smiling into the cleft between her breasts. 

"Yeah..." he mumbled, still feeling woozy and warm. He had yet to pull out, and he didn't plan on doing so because it all felt so comfy--like the room was golden and she was an angel. "God, I feel so much better."

"Good. That was the plan."

"Have I ever told you I think your pussy has magic powers?" He asked, and (y/n) knew he genuinely meant it. It was such a Ray thing to ask, and she laughed with a shake of her head, swatting his shoulder. 

"Oddly enough, doof, I don't think so."

"Well, it does," answered the doofus before a loud yawn left him, muttering tiredly. Then he slumped against her body, trapping his precious girl under his heavy, six-foot-something frame. 

"I could just fall asleep right here, and you'll be here when I wake up, right, darlin'? Then, I'll eat you out and clean up the mess I made."

The way he said it, mumbling into her boob like a worn-out little boy, made her coo, heart clenching at how adorable he was. 

Deep down, Ray loved the praise from acts of service—Captain Man and everything—but while she would have loved to spread her legs and let him get on with his favourite pastime like a good boy, there was a slight problem. 

"You know, we have a classroom full of kids to teach in about an hour," said (y/n) quietly, not wishing to ruin the peace and quiet, but the children would. Inevitably. They only had their lunch hour before it was back to work, and then, they'd come in. Kicking. Screaming. Rioting. 

But that didn't bother Ray. Nothing or no one would prise him from his sweet, sweet wife. 

"Let them wait," he said firmly, adjusting his position to spoon her rather than squash her. He nuzzled closer and sighed, closing his eyes for a quick nap, content to stay wrapped in her warmth for however long she would allow. 

"It's their fault we have the bride of Chucky staying in our guest suite."

~

Lunch flew by. 

Seriously, Ray was thinking about increasing it to two hours when his phone suddenly rang, and Mika appeared on the screen. Of course, it was that miscreant. 

An hour in bed with his wife was simply not long enough, and he whined when (y/n) told him to shift his butt and get showered - ten minutes later than they should have done. It was hard to resist the big doofus, who whined when he didn't get his way of wanting another round or at least a taste of what he'd begged for. 

But his sweet girl refused, throwing him some boxer shorts and a clean white tee as she waddled to the bathroom, hoping to make herself at least a little presentable. At least Ray could be proud of that, noting the slight wobble in her legs that would disappear in the hour, but he'd know. 

And no one else would. 

It spurred him to quickly change into his favourite red tracksuit since the Captain Man curriculum for today specified self-defence classes. God only knew how poorly Danger Force fought without their superpowers, so this was a must. 

He just had to teach the class and send the kids home so they could resume their alone time. If only. The hag made any chance of staying relaxed and positive impossible. 

Of course, Mama Schwoz didn't leave; she waited in SWAG's classroom, where her son had moved her bed—just so she could watch and make unwanted comments, like how she knew a charming boy whom she could introduce to (y/n)—as if Ray wasn't in the room. 

Give him strength. 

"And then, when the villain says, which arm? You say, dis-arm!" Shouted Ray as he demonstrated one of his more questionable, sneaky techniques to the kids. 

His method involved having Chapa stand there, pointing a blaster at him like a villain wouldn't just shoot first and ask questions later, but he insisted it would work. So, after saying his very clever quip, he yanked the gun from her hands and pushed the poor girl to the floor, where (y/n) had thankfully left a crash mat. 

"Oh, Chapa, are you okay?" asked the heroine, offering a hand to help the girl up. Her cheeks warmed at the kind offer, and she scowled at the niceness, but even she couldn't refuse (y/n/n). 

"Yeah... Thanks (y/n)." She scrambled to her feet, glaring at the smirking hero as he twirled the gun around his finger by the trigger guard. 

It was only when Mama Schwoz squinted and hummed in disapproval that his eyes narrowed. He wondered what she possibly wanted to complain about now. 

"Ehhhhhh...."

"What's that, ehhhhhhh?" Asked the hero, his lips twisting into a snarl as he scowled at the woman. 

Schwoz stood at her side, barely leaving her alone since she wanted to be waited on, hand and foot, which included being fed drops of medicine from a pipette like a queen and her servant. 

"Well, it's not how I would disarm someone, but..." Mama Schwoz said with a slight shrug. Knowing how difficult she was being, seeing the hero so mad just made it fun. 

"Okay..." Ray gritted his teeth, remembering his happy place not an hour ago when he was safe and warm with his sweet girl, but the bitch just made it so damn hard not to rip her head off. "Why don't you come on up here and show us how it's done?"

"Can't. Bones are melting..." whimpered the woman as she stuck out her bottom lip and batted her lashes slowly. 

"Pretty well established at this point, sir," said Bose from his chair, but Ray just rolled his eye. Neither he nor (y/n) believed it for a second. 

"But..." She didn't shut up for a single second for someone so sick and desperate, and he had plenty of other reasons to loathe her existence. "If they weren't, I would just kick you in the zipper."

"Yeah, I would say noooooo...." muttered (y/n) as she folded her arms and frowned. Her doofus was indestructible, but any damage in that department couldn't be good for her future plans, and she didn't want to see him writhing on the floor. 

"Pffftt! Don't worry, darlin'. That's never gonna--"

"Zipper kick!" Ray spoke too soon. The minute someone put the idea in her head, Chapa just had to try it; she deemed it revenge for how the hero tossed her on the mat like a rag doll. 

In one mean, swift kick, she booted Ray in the crotch, making the poor man groan and double over, holding his tenders as they throbbed. The others winced and yelled in shock, covering their mouths in sympathy as (y/n) cried out for her doofus, hoping he was okay 'cause that looked painful. 

Mama Schwoz, of course, didn't care, clapping her hands at the sight of the great hero on the ground--writhing in pain. 

"My turn! My turn!" The kids shouted, leaping from their seats at the chance to grievously hurt their boss, who wouldn't let anyone else - save for his beloved wife - within three feet of him. 

"No one's kicking me in the zipper!" Ray exclaimed, warding the children off by pointing the blaster at anyone who got too close. 

Bose, Miles, Mika, and Chapa thankfully backed off. Still, they couldn't help but smirk, watching as Ray clutched his hurting area with a quivering expression. 

"And from now on, I would thank you if you stay out of my business!"

"Yeah, I want children, thank you very much!" Said (y/n) as she rushed over to tenderly stroke her doofus' back, telling him it would all be okay in a few seconds--once the pain faded away. The children grimaced at the thought but didn't relent from the teasing. 

"No! Let her teach us more stuff!" said Chapa, and the others readily agreed, wanting to inflict more severe pain. Then an alarm blared, and a red light flashed, bathing the room in scarlet - such perfect timing. 

"Oh, no!"

"Oh, thank God, there's a crime!" Ray sighed, pressing his palms together in a grateful prayer since, for now, they'd have to put a pin in ruining his chances of being a father.

Literally, he was saved by the bell, and the team begrudgingly plodded over to their chairs, looking ever so childish with their pouty faces. 

"All right, we'll see you guys upstairs!" (y/n) cheerfully told them, skipping off to the back room where the stairs were, followed by her husband and Schwoz. 

"Mostly everybody! Mostly!" Ray couldn't help but add, glancing over at his shoulder at Mama Schwoz, who fortunately had to stay behind in the Man's Nest because of her melty bones. 

There were some small mercies, and whilst the hero didn't like the idea of leaving her in his home, at least he'd have thirty minutes of freedom. A hand reached for his shoulder, peeling him away from the door so they could get moving, and it was all too easy to get the doofus to follow his sweet girl. 

"Come on, doofus."

"She's so annoying!" The hero groaned as his wife guided him toward the staircase, knowing he'd happily go back there and strangle Mama Schwoz if she made one more rude comment. 

Luckily, Ray calmed down quickly, given the much better view he had whilst tailing his sweet girl, who just knew where he had his eyes glued to--and it wasn't her new sneakers. 

"I know, I know..." said (y/n), glancing over her shoulder to see her husband smiling dorkily to himself, looking like a lovesick idiot. "How's your, um...?"

"Can you kiss it better?" He asked instantly, a hopeful grin spreading across his face at the cheeky thought. (y/n) felt her ears superheat, and Schwoz's, who'd been jogging up the stairs in front of them, turned around with an expression of abject horror. 

"Ew, gross!" He frowned, his stomach twisting at the grossness of imagining his pure, sweet, innocent friend lowering herself, and--ew, ew, ew!

"Keep walkin', Schwoz!" Ray snapped, glaring at the fuzzy weirdo for daring to interrupt. 

Schwoz didn't need to be told twice; he scrambled up the stairs as fast as his little legs could carry him, leaving the handsy hero alone with his precious wife. He couldn't help but grasp her waist and come up close behind her. 

"Be a good boy and finish this mission," (y/n) told him, giggling and squirming as he palmed her ass. She told him to stop, smiling when she told him not to play on the stairs, but how could he when she promised such temptation. "Then, I'll think about it."

"Where did I put my damn gum?!" The man patted down his pockets, spinning in circles as they reached the Man's Nest. With clumsy fingers, he plucked it from his pocket, drawing funny looks from the kids who'd arrived in the room before them. 

They couldn't imagine why the idiot rushed to get going so quickly, stuffing it in his mouth like a starving man. He held the tube tightly--almost breaking the glass as he waited to pop a gumball, itching to get to work. 

But he managed to control himself, even if he buzzed on the spot as (y/n) followed suit, albeit at a normal, not weird, pace, and walked into the room whilst searching for her gum. 

"You look so handsome today, doofus," said (y/n) with a bright, affectionate smile once she saw him in the daylight, thinking that tracksuit sculpted his muscles perfectly. 

She sidled up to him and looped her arms around his neck, pulling a very willing Ray into a quick kiss. 

"Do you guys ever get bored of each other?" Chapa asked sarcastically, wrinkling her nose as she watched the two canoodle - so openly. 

"Nope!" they answered together, pulling away and looking at her with twin, love-struck grins. They held hands and everything, like two peas in a pod that had the girl rolling her eyes again, feeling somewhat nauseous. 

Neither Ray nor (y/n) cared as the man pulled his wife in for another, smiling against her lips until the heroine noticed something strange. 

She counted the kids milling around the room in the corner of her eye and swore they were one down. In such a bustling household, she never missed one of her beloved babies, and even Ray noted how quiet the place seemed to be with one less yapper in his ear. 

"Hang on...where's Mika?"

"Oh, she forgot her gum downstairs. Went to get it," Miles explained with a simple shrug, not wanting to look in their direction since his phone was so exciting and their kissing was not. 

Ray did not look happy to learn about this dissent in the ranks, hoping they could go out, kick some butt, and get his sweet reward. But they couldn't leave without ShoutOut, so he did the only thing he could think of. 

"Ugh...children!" He rolled his eyes before throwing his head back, signalling for the lady beside him to clamp her hands over her ears and brace herself. "MIKA!"

"Doofus! No shouting--let's just go get her!" (y/n) scolded him, wincing when the loudness penetrated her poor ears, and the superhero couldn't help but feel bad. 

Still, they went back down the stairs, with Ray grumbling all the way about how he shouldn't send a kid to do Captain Man's job. As her brother said, Mika was downstairs in SWAG, standing in the middle of the room, staring at Mama Schwoz with a ghastly, almost sickened expression. 

"MIKA! What's going on?!" Asked Ray sharply, bursting into the room with his wife behind him, looking befuddled as to why she'd want to stay in the room with that. 

"I...forgot my gum," the girl answered, but something in her voice made (y/n) frown. 

She sounded unsure like she was holding something back, but this was Mika. Mika never lied. That's what made her so snitchy.

"What's with the music?" (y/n) asked, looking at the speakers on the ceiling as she refrained from interrogating the girl - for now. 

"I'm so sick!" Across the room, Mama Schwoz whined and coughed weakly. She was still spread across her bed, although she'd managed to kick her melty legs out from underneath her many blankets. 

Her outfit was beyond wacky, consisting of a long, frumpy, hippie-like blouse and baggy yoga pants, and it just made Ray hate her even more. And he had zero sympathy for her, no matter how much she whimpered. "I'm so definitely, actually sick!"

"I..." Mika stammered, her gaze meeting the woman's challenging one, but she couldn't reveal her secret. She just couldn't. Not when she resented being called the S-word. So, for the first time, Mika Macklin lied to her teachers' faces, even if it cracked her golden heart. 

"I was just getting pumped up! You know, a little pre-crime dancing! Drop low, and bring it high."

"That's stupid," said Ray dryly, giving her an unimpressed stare. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out his PearPhone—the one connected to the speaker system. "This is a much better pump-up song!"

"Oh, sweet cheese, Raymond. No..." (y/n) groaned, knowing what he would play simply by his words, but it was too late by then. 

Suddenly, a country tune, full of banjos and hillbilly magic, filled the room, and, much to Mika's disgust, the hero began to move his hips in time to the beat. He gestured the brow of a cowboy hat, grinning at the girls as they stood side by side and utterly confused by the sight he made. 

"Shuffle to your left! Flex your muscles to the right!" Ray's voice with a country accent began singing, reminding (y/n) of the terrible time he thought he'd be the next big thing, straight from Swellview. 

Her doofus wasn't a bad singer, not at all, but just watching how he roped Mika into dancing with him, bootin', scootin', and boogieing on down to the music made her cringe. 

The girl looked like she wanted to die, limply moving her arms and legs with Ray's instructions, noticing how Mama Schwoz smirked when the doofus faked a lasso above his head. 

"Do the Captain Man. You gotta blow bubbles! You gotta fight crime!"

Now Mika knew why Ray didn't want Schwoz's mother in the Man's' Nest. The woman was a lowdown, perfectly healthy liar.

~Later that day~

The mission went without a hitch, and Ray got his cuddle in bed afterwards. Well, sort of.

It wasn't long before the emergencies started coming thick and fast. He and his sweet girl didn't get much time to themselves, what with pandering to Mama Schwoz's every need. She was relentless, making demands and using Danger Force for her every little need as if Schwoz wasn't there for her little need. 

A little later in the day, Ray found something worthwhile for his irritating sidekicks to do for him. Perhaps it would give him the space to drag his wife off for more relaxation, but first, he needed to find them. 

With (y/n) tagging along, the hero tubed up to the Man's Nest, a video rental clasped in his tight fist as he jogged down the steps. 

She was still in the room - the dragon of all mothers since she preferred the height Captain Man's headquarters gave her. SWAG was too far down the mountain, and Mama Schwoz was too used to being the queen of the hill. 

"Gross..." Ray muttered as he stood in the middle of the room, eyeing the disgusting sight of his handyman brushing his smirking mother's hair. 

"Just ignore her..." (y/n) told him softly, trying to forget the image of Mama Schwoz shoving massive spoonfuls of yoghurt into her mouth. She fought a constant battle to try and keep the peace, hoping if her doofus just focused on his dumb task, he wouldn't start a fight. 

"Okay, sweet girl..." Ray smiled at her brightly before his face turned serious, and (y/n) couldn't put her hands over her ears quickly enough when he threw his head back. 

"Danger Force! ASSEMBLE!" Only to say how loud he shouted and how typically speedy his sidekicks were; no one came. All Ray got was a couple of funny looks from Schwoz and his mom, who laughed at him cruelly. 

"I said, DangerForceAssemble!"

"They're not here, stupid," said Mama Schwoz snidely, pausing her yoghurt slurping, but her son never stopped brushing her frizzy hair. Ray and (y/n) frowned at the news, wondering where the four could've gone since, technically, they were still at school/work. 

"Where are they?" Asked the heroine as she placed a hand on her doofus' chest to keep him back. 

"Mama sent them on a mission!" Schwoz replied happily, only briefly looking up from his crucial task of detangling those grey tendrils. 

"Mama doesn't get to send them on missions! Only me or (y/n) get to send them on missions, and I have a very important mission that I need to send them on right now!" Said Ray angrily, glaring at the infernal woman still perched on her hideous bed, not that she cared. 

"I'm so sorry. What is your important mission?" Schwoz genuinely sounded remorseful, and Ray looked at the ground. 

He could feel everyone's eyes on him, thinking it was a murder, or a burglary, or some grand disaster, but his sweet girl knew better. She gave him a raised eyebrow, already predicting a smart comment when he brandished the rental in his hand. 

"I need them to return this copy of Addams Family Values. (y/n) and I watched it when we were dating, and now it's absurdly overdue."

"Well, I did tell you to take it back, doofus," (y/n) muttered, shaking her head at her silly doofus as she remembered that cosy night in--well, before she ever dreamed that she'd get to marry her adorable doofus. "Three years ago..."

"They'll be back soon..." Mama Schwoz told her coly, smirking over her little dish. 

"Where are they?"

"I just needed them to pick up a few...elderly items," she said, which was a little bit too much information for the hero to deal with, and he wrinkled his nose. "I would've gone myself, but, y'know...melty bones."

"Look..." said Ray through gritted teeth; if he heard the words "melty bones" one last time, he might just yeet her off the side of Mount Swellview. "I'm very honoured that you chose to come here to our Man's Nest to melt all over everything--"

But before he could give her a stern talking-to, hoping to put the woman in her place, Mama Schwoz dipped her spoon into the yoghurt and hurled a little blob at the hero's face. It smeared across his face and dripped onto his uniform, making (y/n) gasp and choke on a giggle. 

"Oh, doofus..." she muttered, watching regretfully as her husband wiped the goopy mixture off his chin - at least it was strawberry-flavoured. 

"Oops..." Mama Schwoz said slowly, although the delighted smirk growing on her face said she was anything but sorry. "'Ghurted you..."

If it wasn't for his pretty girl holding him back, Ray would've jumped her. He'd had quite enough of her stupid face, smirk, and false niceties. It didn't help that Schwoz thought his mother was amazing. She could do no wrong in his eyes, laughing like it was a big joke. 

They needed to pray that the yoghurt would wash out. 

"Listen here, you--"

"Raymond! You will not dignify that with a response!" (y/n) told her doofus, feet sliding against the tiled floor since she was practically trying to restrain a human mountain. She could hear Mama Schwoz taunting him behind her back, laughing cruelly as the hero tried to grab her by the hair. 

Just how long was she planning on staying?

~The next day~

Oh, she wouldn't leave, turning days into what felt like weeks. 

Much to Ray's frustration, Mama Schwoz refused to go home. 

By the dawn of the second day of her stay, he'd practically resigned himself to thinking she would become part of their lives. She sat in his home in that ugly bed, ordering the kids around like she was the boss. 

Mika, Miles, Bose, and Chapa jumped to everything she said, even menial things like teleporting around the world for the slightest thing. And when Schwoz was too busy, they stepped in to care for her—brushing her hair, massaging her paw-like feet, and painting her crusty toenails. 

The hero couldn't believe it, watching in disgust with his beloved wife by his side as Bose fanned the woman with a palm frond. As he did, Miles had the rotten luck of giving those hooves a pedicure. Schwoz acted as a loving companion, holding her smoothie, and Chapa hovered in the background. 

"Miles, thank you for teleporting to that gator pond and getting me this palm frond," said Mama Schwoz creepily, smiling over her mound of furs and blankets at the poor boy. 

He'd suffered these last few days, evident from the bandage that (y/n) had carefully wrapped around his hand when he returned with a nasty wound.

"Did you know that alligators can climb up palm trees?" Miles asked in a strained voice as he clutched his injured arm. "'Cause I did not!'

"I don't know how she can just sit there", said (y/n) moodily, resting her head against Ray's beefy arm as they sat on the steps near the doors, accompanied by Mika. 

The kids had visited Hip Hop Purée and brought back delightfully fruity smoothies. Still, of course, she only wanted sips from Ray's cup. It tasted better since it was his, and it helped that he looked extra hot in his tight, long-sleeved shirt. 

"Miles got hurt, and she doesn't even care!"

"You know, darlin', if she weren't all melty, I'd pick up that ol' bag by the hair on her feet and toss her on outta' here..." the hero spat as he curled an arm around her shoulders, sneering at the sight of Mama Schwoz's hairy toes. 

Mika listened to them carefully, but there was something strange about the girl. The typically chatty girl barely answered anything, sticking to yes and no only. Apart from that, she kept herself to herself—most un-Mika-ish. 

"But there's no point in wishing. She's obviously melting away..."

"Obviously!" Mika agreed, but she drew a confused yet concerned glance from (y/n) at how weird she sounded, digging her nails into her palms as she battled to keep herself quiet. 

"I mean, it's not like she's lying or anything."

"You okay there, Mika?" The heroine asked when a pained moan fell from the girl's lips, sounding like she'd taken a knife to the heart. 

Still, Mika smiled through the pain, wishing to tell her friend what she saw, but that would be snitching. So, her lips were sealed. 

"I am perfectly fine and well."

"Okay...if you say so," (y/n) muttered, giving her a puzzled, suspecting side-eye, but she didn't press it, not when Schwoz padded over with a distraction. 

The genius carried a clear, plastic straw - at least ten feet long. It stretched from Mama Schwoz's bed right over to the steps where they sat. Ray watched in horror as he directed the tip into his smoothie from Hip Hop Purée - the one (y/n) held in her hands after a quick sip. 

"Mama Schwoz would like a liiiiiiitle sip of your purée!" He said brightly, ignoring or not seeing his boss's dark expression or how offended his wife looked when she watched him dip the enormous straw into the orange, mango-pumpkin-flavoured drink. 

(y/n) couldn't help but pout; she was the only one who stole drinks in these parts. 

"Of course, she would." Ray glowered, watching his purée disappear from the mason jar glass, zipping through the straw across the room and into his enemy's mouth. But she didn't just take a sip like Schwoz said she would - that would be too easy. 

Mama Schwoz sucked and sucked with all her might, lips smacking and squelching around the straw until she had drained all the juice from his glass. She didn't even leave them a drop to moisten their tongues. 

"Aw... There's none left," said (y/n) sadly, and seeing her quivering bottom lip was a step too far for Ray. 

"All right! That's enough!" Exclaimed the hero as he smacked the straw away and dramatically stood up. 

"Raymond..." (y/n) said warningly, grasping his bicep to pull him down onto an office chair with her when she saw everyone's shocked faces. Mama Schwoz smirked but thankfully relented, ditching the straw since she'd had her fill, and at least the doofus could return to his wife to sulk. 

"Ugh... I thought we were going to listen to your dang horse race," mumbled the hero as he clutched his thumping temple. 

The last thing he wanted was to listen to some stupid commentator rambling about horses, but whatever Mama Schwoz wanted, she got... All Ray could do was put his arm back around his precious girl and think happy thoughts. 

"Ooh, it starts right now!" Schwoz exclaimed happily and bounded over to his mother's bed, where he quickly turned the radio on over the speaker system. Her eyes lit up upon hearing the familiar buzz of the wireless, and shockingly, everyone gathered around to see if she had made a winning bet. 

"Here, in the fourth race at Swellview Downs, where everyone's talking about Three-Legged Dreamer!"

"Oh! Three-Legged Dreamer! That's my boy!" Said Mama Schwoz with a beaming grin as she clutched all the receipts she'd received from the bookies, detailing all the money - and there was a lot - that she'd placed on her favourite horse. 

"I thought I was your boy..." Schwoz replied sadly, but his mother was not as lovely as she seemed. To say she cherished her son, she did not flinch when she pushed him off the bed, more interested in the radio and her winnings than her own flesh and blood. 

"And they're off!"

"Kill me now..." muttered (y/n), and she rested against Ray's chest after sitting on his knee in the chair, closing her eyes to drown out the infernal babbling of the commentator. 

She wasn't one for gambling or anything Mama might have liked, and her husband was too comfy to focus on anything else. He pulled her in close, rocking her like a baby and pressing a kiss to her forehead that had her smiling softly, which made the hero happy. 

Mika, on the other hand, was not so content. As the horse race commenced, she was in a world of her own, pondering about her predicament. 

The angel on her shoulder said lying was wrong, even if she technically didn't say anything. Withholding the truth was still dishonest, but the devil within said that wasn't such a bad thing. If she grassed on Mama Schwoz, it would be a social disgrace, and her reputation would be in tatters...

It was like a war was waging in her mind, making her grit her teeth and wriggle on the spot until she couldn't take it anymore. She tried to bite her tongue—she really did—but it all just came tumbling out. 

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" She yelled, storming past Ray and (y/n), who broke out of the nap/cuddle-fest with deeply disturbed looks. 

All eyes were on the girl as she plodded over to the bed and turned off the radio, glaring at Mama Schwoz because she would no longer keep her dirty secret. She had messed with the wrong snitch. 

"Hey, what did you do that for?!" Her friends asked angrily, having been on the edge of their metaphorical seats since they might have made a few bets themselves...which (y/n) definitely couldn't know about. 

"I'm sorry!" Mika told them sharply before her gaze returned to the old woman on the bed. She squirmed nervously, wondering if she would actually tell them what she saw that day. "But you guys need to know something about Mama Schwoz!"

The woman looked at her angrily, clicking her tongue soothingly as if Mika were another of her beloved horses. She even reached out, pretending to stroke her, whispering calming words that did nothing to quell the girl's rising fury. "Easy now..."

"Mama Schwoz is not sick! She's faking!" But Mika did not care. Gasps echoed around the room at her accusation. Mama Schwoz squeaked when pairs of shocked, furious eyes turned on her - the not-so-innocent liar. 

"Don't listen to her!" she begged her new friends—or servants—and even her son looked disgusted, not wanting to believe the truth. 

"What are you talking about?!" Asked Chapa, watching Ray and (y/n) jump up from the office chair. The man's face was like thunder, eyes burning holes into Mama Schwoz because he had finally discovered some dirt on her. 

"Her bones aren't melting! I caught her dancing yesterday!" Said Mika, and suddenly, everything made sense. 

(y/n) realised why she had been acting so weirdly, keeping such a big secret to herself just to protect that woman's dignity--maybe she even blackmailed her. And that just made her hate Mama Schwoz even more. 

She's getting everyone to do her errands, and you know what? I don't care if you call me a snitch--she's faking!"

"Mama?" Schwoz asked timidly as his mother clapped slowly, her formally cheery face now a sour frown. 

"She's slow-clapping!" Miles gasped, pointing at the woman on the bed, who wasn't so friendly now that they'd discovered her dirty lie. 

"That means...Mika is right!"

"She's faking!" Bose agreed with the boy and Chapa, looking more pensive than usual. If anyone looked close enough, they'd possibly see steam coming from his ears. "I think..."

"Mama?" Schwoz asked again, desperate to hear the truth from his mom's mouth as she hadn't said anything in her defence yet. But Mama Schwoz still didn't reply; instead, she slammed her betting slips onto the bed, peeled back the sheets, and, to everyone's surprise, slipped out of bed. 

"Okay, fine...I don't have melty bones," she conceded, using strong arms to step onto sturdy legs that didn't crumble or shatter when she stood on them.

"I'm as healthy as a three-legged horse!"

"Three...legged?" (y/n) muttered, trying to understand, but it was Schwozish logic. 

"I knew it!" Ray seethed, pointing a stern finger at the unimpressed Mama Schwoz. 

"No, you didn't!" She argued, knowing the idiot was too stupid to see through her deception and he had been too busy tripping over his wife's heels like some lovesick moron. The poor girl. 

"Yeah, I know..."

"And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for this meddling snitch!" She hissed, shaking her fist at Mika, not that the girl cared. Or rather, she did, but only because she'd done nothing wrong. 

"Don't make this about me! You were lying the whole time!"

"Well, I had to!" Mama Schwoz cried, suddenly looking distraught as her teary gaze turned to Ray. "He never lets my boy come see me!"

"I give him one vacation day every ten years!" The hero argued, which didn't really help. (y/n) gave him a look that said to stop being childish. Still, her doofus felt emotional and protective and abandoned - too many childhood problems to go into now. 

"Doofus, we've talked about this..."

"That's it! I'm going home!" Mama Schwoz muttered, ignoring anything the man or his wife had to say because she knew he would never change. Instead, she hurried over to her son, gesturing for her to follow him since Ray would never fully appreciate him—and she'd seen how he treated him. 

"Schwoz, you're coming with me!"

"He's not going anywhere!" Said Ray angrily, and as Mama took one arm, the hero took the other. They played Schwoz In The Middle, tugging the poor genius back and forth, and his heart did not know where to go, feeling loyalty for both sides. 

"You don't even appreciate him!" His mother cried, infuriating Ray and all his childlike emotions. Just because he didn't show it didn't mean he didn't love Schwoz...in a weird sort of way. 

"I don't appreci--I don't appreciate him?!" The hero gasped, and he managed to wrench his handyman away from the woman and over to his side of the room. "Schwoz, cover your ears!"

Ever loyal, the fuzzy coconut slowly did as he was told, and just for good measure, Ray clamped his hands on top of his to ensure he couldn't hear a thing. Schwoz was unsure what was happening - no one did, not even (y/n) - but Ray looked desperate, and Mama Schwoz was not the only one in the room crying. 

"I love this man with the last part of my heart that doesn't love my sweet girl!" He sniffed, making (y/n) put her hand over her chest, feeling all warm and gooey inside. 

"And there's a reason I don't give him any days off work! 'Cause I can't live a day without him! He is my second rock! He is my second shoulder to cry on! If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have married the girl of my dreams!"

"Schwoz has seen us through a lot..." his wife said, and she felt the same. 

For all his quirks, Schwoz's presence and dependability were a constant part of their lives; even Mama Schwoz couldn't dispute that, and (y/n) knew she wouldn't have stayed with Ray if he hadn't steered them into a relationship. 

"But if I tell him that, I'm afraid he might gain the self-confidence to leave me for somebody who might treat him the way he deserves to be treated—you know, like a human."

"Ray...you are a complicated man," Miles said, slightly disturbed at the man's confession, which sounded like Schwoz was more a pet than a friend. 

"You're straight up toxic, m'dude..." Chapa added as she folded her arms and observed the man-child, whose wife frowned upon hearing that. 

"No, he's not..." argued (y/n), coming to stand protectively beside her deflating doofus and placing her hand on his bicep. 

"Okay, maybe he's a little emotionally constipated, and he has daddy issues up to his ears, but he's actually very caring in his own way."

"Why are you talking about daddies, (y/n/n)?" An innocent voice cut through the awkwardness, and the heroine looked at the genius with warm cheeks when she realised that he'd shaken away the hands over his ears. 

"Uh..."

"Forget about that, Schwoz! I said you're staying here..." Ray quickly covered for his sweet girl, his hand grabbing hers and squeezing it like a lifeline. "And if anything, I overpay you!"

"Why don't you just be honest with him, doof?" Asked (y/n) gently as Ray turned away from the group, not wanting to see his friend's disappointed countenance or his sidekicks' shameful gazes. 

"Let him know how much you care."

"And what good would that do, sweet girl? He has to stay--everyone else has left!" (y/n) didn't quite understand what he meant by that, squinting in confusion when Mama Schwoz swaggered behind them, practically snarling after overhearing every, little, intimate word. 

"If you want my Schwozie to stay, you have to fight me for him!" The old woman decreed, and in a fit of unmelty heroics, she did a series of cartwheels and flips across the room to where the couple stood. 

Ray, who turned his back on her, did not take the threat seriously. He wondered what a short, elderly pensioner could do to him—a superhero. He scoffed at the idea of an attack, but when he and (y/n) faced her, he got a nasty surprise. 

A zipper kick, straight between the legs. 

"Raymond!" Miss Danger gasped as her husband sank to the ground, hand braced on his...area, howling in pain. Yet Mama Schwoz wasn't finished, and (y/n) couldn't do anything but dodge out of the way when she used the hero's back like a vaulting horse, spinning around for another run-up. 

"Doofus, look ou--" Another kick landed on the middle of his spine, sending the boneless hero to the floor, groaning at his sidekick's feet. "Out..."

"Did you know your mother was like this?" (y/n) quietly asked Schwoz as they observed the twirling woman, who didn't even throw a hip out as she did all her acrobatics. She was surprisingly flexible. 

"Oh, yah. It's very common amongst my people..." answered the genius, who smiled proudly at his mom, even if she did look like a wild, snarling animal. 

"All right, Granny Devito..." Ray hissed after getting to his feet. Fortunately, thanks to his indestructibility, he could shake off the pain as quickly as she hurt him. The others watched as he flexed his muscles and fists, readying himself for a proper attack. "It's on!"

He charged at Mama Schwoz, throwing a fist that could have stunned even the most brutal of villains, but it was like the woman had trained with the best. She blocked every attack, ducking and weaving so the hero swung at thin air.

"Dude, they're fighting over you!" Bose whispered excitedly to Schwoz, whose face was cheery and rosy from such flattery; he wasn't used to it. 

"I know!"

"If I had any money left, I'd bet on your mom," said Chapa, earning a grumpy glance from (y/n). 

She had faith in her doofus, knowing he was the greatest fighter in Swellview, even if he was currently getting his ass handed to him by a freakishly strong old woman. 

"Should we stop them?" Asked Mika, wincing as her boss received another harsh kick to his stomach.

"Ehhhh...not yet."

"Schwoz!" (y/n) exclaimed, watching as the woman left her husband a panting, sweating, aching mess, crumple in half as agony rippled through his abs. It faded, of course, but she still hated seeing him struggle, and it didn't help how Schwoz was enjoying it. "She's wiping the floor with him!"

"Don't worry, sweet girl. I can handle anything!" Ray replied when he overheard her hissed words, giving his beloved wife a wobbly grin. Yet, strangely, he had a few seconds of respite, allowing his body to recover from the onslaught. 

"...Where did she go?"

He shouldn't have asked. 

A hiss from above made them look up at the ceiling, a sheer rock face carved from the mountain to accommodate the Man's Nest. Mama Schwoz had managed to scale the vertical wall like a bat or supernatural creature.

"How'd she get up there?" Ray wondered, observing how her claw-like hands and ape-like feet gripped a craggy overhang, allowing her to hover above them all. 

"That is terrifying." Miles took the words out of everyone's mouths, a terrified glint shining in his eyes at how unnatural the woman was - almost troglodytic. 

It was worse when she dropped from the great height, knocking Ray to the floor. Another panicked gasp left (y/n) as the kids groaned sympathetically, but that was before she started punching the doofus across the face. 

"Okay, okay! I can't take this anymore!" (y/n) said furiously, and she dashed over to her husband to prise the bitch from atop his limp frame by her hair. "No one punches my doofus' beautiful face!"

The kids helped, peeling Mama Schwoz away from Ray, but not before (y/n) managed to rip a few silver strands from her fuzzy head. It was ridiculous to separate grown adults from a fight, yelling and grappling to keep the heroine under control when she slipped past Ray and head-butted the one who hurt her husband. 

"(y/n/n)! That behaviour is beneath you!"

"She started it!" She argued, pointing an accusatory finger at Mama Schwoz, who would secretly admit that she preferred Miss Danger as a worthy opponent. 

Still, the children pushed the girl and her beloved doofus together, allowing the woozy idiot to lean against her for support. "I would have happily talked it out, but she threw the first punch!"

"(y/n)...Ray...I love both of you," Schwoz told them, smiling when his old friends glared at him and his quick-fisted Mama.

"Yes! We win, sweet girl!" Ray yelled, hugging his wife tightly and sneering at the old woman victoriously. "Bye-bye! Bye-bye now!"

"But I think it's time for me to go home." 

"HA!"

They probably would've heard the hero's heart break if the room was silent. They couldn't since it was Mama Schwoz's turn to taunt him, but all smiles and laughter left the couple's faces, bewildered by Schwoz's admission. 

"What? You're just gonna...you're just gonna leave us?" Ray asked incredulously, feeling the tears pooling on his lashes.

"It's time. I need to go home and be with Mama," answered the genius, much to his mother's delight. She wasn't graceful in victory, however; she hated Ray far too much for that. Instead, she laughed in his face, cruelly elated to see the genuine sorrow on his face. 

"Ha! Go Mama, go Mama, go Mama!"

"All right, we get it!" (y/n) snapped at her while rubbing soft circles on her doofus' back, knowing he would take it harder than her. The loss of Schwoz made her want to cry, seeing as she hated goodbyes. "You get to take him home, so you don't have to rub it in!"

"No, no, darlin'. It's great!" Ray sniffed, an ugly sob leaving his lips as his face twisted into a melancholy frown. "Jasper, Charlotte, Henry, and now, Schwoz, too! It's fine!"

"Oh, Raymond..." his wife muttered gently, but it was too late. Ray slipped from her embrace and walked over to the empty bed, flopping onto the mattress for a little weep. It was the story of his life; everyone he grew to love left eventually, and he would be all alone. 

"Schwoz, is this really goodbye? After all these years?" She asked her favourite fuzzy coconut, but something about the sadness in his eyes that mirrored her own told her the answer. 

"Yes. Like I always say, family first," he replied, wrapping an arm around his mother, who, like always, spat her vitriol in their direction, no matter if she was flanked by the kids. 

"Get wrecked, suckers!" Mama Schwoz said spitefully, but they tried to not let it spoil their final moments together. 

"We're gonna miss you, Schwoz," said Miles, and his friends agreed. Compared to their teachers, they'd barely known him at all, but they grew to love the bald, little weirdo. Him and all his quirks. 

"Bye..."

"Adiós..." Bose and Chapa sadly waved him goodbye, and Schwoz did the same. 

He wished Ray would come over so they could part ways on good terms, but the hero was too busy trying to hide his trembling shoulders and wet cheeks. So, (y/n) settled it for them, stepping forward and pulling the genius into her warmest, cosiest squeezes. 

"Last hug..." The heroine whispered, feeling those little arms wrapping around her body for the final time. 

A tear slipped down her face, and she held him tightly for a few seconds. She tried to ignore the idea that this would be the last time she saw him—possibly forever. Schwoz, the guy who watched her fall in love and get engaged—the guy who officiated her wedding, for God's sake—wouldn't be there for anything else. 

"Schwoz!" The moment was ruined when a rough hand pulled him away, back into the cold, bony arms of Mama Schwoz. Oh, she was loving this. "How are we getting home?"

"We'll take the helicopter to my rocket to my spaceport..." he replied, opening the door for his mom as she happily skipped away, never looking back at the Man's Nest now that she had her boy right where she wanted him. "Then, over to La Cienega, where it hits the junior high..."

And just like that, Schwoz was gone. 

"Doofus, are you okay?" (y/n) asked her lover quietly. She walked over to the bed and sat beside him. Wet streaks ran down the man's cheeks, and the minute she was close enough, he pulled her into a painfully tight embrace. 

"Don't leave me, sweet girl..." Ray begged, and the mournful expression on his face made the woman's heart ache for him. 

She wrapped him up in her arms, pressing smoochy kisses to his temple, and not even the kids had it in them to mock the man for it. They watched as he cried into his wife's shoulder, terrified that, one day, she would decide to leave, too. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Ray, remember?" (y/n) promised, flashing her wedding rings, allowing them to rest coolly against his hot skin. That seemed to calm him down slightly, enough to stop the sobs, but the hero glanced up at his four sidekicks, looking like a kicked, snotty puppy. 

"Do any of you know how to make science devices?" He asked woefully. 

"I can learn if (y/n/n) teaches me," Mika replied hesitantly, although the woman didn't look too sure. She could solder and make some cool weapons. Still, compared to Schwoz and his science-defying creations, she was a mechanical idiot. 

"Looks like I'm gonna have to get the old textbooks on quantum mechanics out again..."

"Do any of you guys know how to scratch my back just the way I like it for when my sweet girl isn't around to do it?" The doofus asked again, his voice becoming strained and thick with emotion the more he recalled his beloved handyman. 

Deep down, he adored that fuzzy weirdo, knowing he was like the second crutch that kept the hot mess that was Captain Man upright, and now, he was gone. 

As Ray pressed his hands to his eyes, hoping to stem another flow of tears, (y/n) hugged him tighter, burying her face into his shoulder lest he set her off, too. She couldn't see a thing, not even the looks on her babies' faces, when an overall-wearing, bald-headed, coconut-like, tiny man wandered over the bed. 

"You mean like this?" An accented voice asked, tiptoeing over to the melancholy couple like a stealthy cat. His nails raked down the hero's back, making his hair stand on end, his leg shake and tingles run down his spine. 

"Oh, that's perfect, actually..." Ray groaned, stretching his spine and shuddering from the shooting pleasure. "Thanks, sweet girl."

"That wasn't me, you big doofus..." (y/n) replied breathlessly. 

If she hadn't been stunned, she would've been offended that he thought that was her voice after thirteen years together. But she could hardly breathe, staring at the cheeky, grinning figure looming over her doofus.

Ray frowned at her words, but then he noticed how her hands were neatly folded in her lap, which begged the question - who was scratching his back? His head snapped toward the scratcher, and his heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he saw Schwoz standing over him. 

Looking as Schwozish as ever. Very much real. Not a hallucination. 

"Schwoz?!" 

"We thought you were leaving with your mom!" Mika exclaimed, and like everyone else, she was thoroughly confused at his apparent magic trick. 

"I did!"

"But you're here!" Chapa said, wondering how he could stand there so calmly when they bordered on grief and elation. Ray, for once in his life, was speechless, holding his wife's hand to prove that he wasn't suffering from some misery-induced dream. 

"I know!"

"I'm so confused!" Miles muttered, although his smile really told of his pleasure at seeing the genius again. 

"I just figured it out!" Bose announced, words that had never left his mouth before and probably never would again, given that his deductions were almost always wrong. 

"The real Schwoz has been inside of us the whole time!"

"That is a disgusting thought..." (y/n) said dryly, hating to think where the small man would be if he was... She didn't even want to think about it.

"No, the Schwoz who just left with my Mama was my clone!" 

"That makes more sense..." said Bose, who stared blankly at Schwoz, accepting his answer. Everyone else was still just as lost. 

"You had a clone?" Asked Mika confusingly. 

"I used to..."

"Wait, wait, wait..." Ray butted in once he finally kicked his brain into function again. "You mean...you picked us over your own Mama?"

"Like I always say..." Schwoz smiled softly at him and (y/n), looking both happy and sad since he loved his mother, but those lovesick idiots couldn't even confess without his help. "Family second."

"Oh, Schwoz... You're going to make me cry!" The heroine exclaimed, fanning her teary eyes as she skipped forward and pulled the genius in for a hug—and she was glad to say it wouldn't be the last. 

The kids cooed, watching the little man snuggle further into her cosiness. Just for once, Ray allowed someone else to enjoy his wife's warmth, silently relieved that their small unit would remain unchanged, just as it had done for over a decade. 

But, when Danger Force decided to get in on the action... Well, that was a step too far. 

"Not so fast!" He said, holding the children away from the hug and making his handyman and wife separate, too. They looked at him in confusion, wondering why he'd want to ruin the tender moment, but Ray looked mischievous. "We still have one little thing to take care of first."

"What are you talking about, doof?" (y/n) frowned in confusion, only for Ray to curl an arm around her waist and smirk. 

"Schwoz..." he said, grinning from ear to ear since it was just like old times. "Pull up the Snitch Board."

"WHAT?!" Mika gasped as her surrounding friends cheered, loving how he had not forgotten. Ray was a doofus, but when it came to tomfoolery and grudges, he had the memory of an elephant.

"Ya' snitched," he told the outraged girl, even as his pretty girl shook her head and rolled her eyes. 

"Because she was taking advantage of my friends! I snitched for you guys!" Mika argued, looking around at Chapa and her twin, but they offered no support. If anything, they were looking forward to seeing her humiliated - all in good, clean fun. 

"And we appreciate that." Ray smiled as Schwoz turned the holographic monitor on, reminding the girl of how she teetered on the edge of punishment. 

And there they were. The genius held the shoebox of disgrace, and she shivered when she remembered the disgusting things lurking inside. The thing that would soon be upon her feet...

"But the rules is the rules. You snitch. You wear the Shoes of Shame." 

"Those are so hideous..." (y/n) remarked as her doofus opened the box and plucked the plain, greyish-white sneakers. He held them like they had cooties, keeping them as far away from his body as Mika stepped forward to reluctantly take them. 

"Fine!" She snapped, glaring at her friends, who all jumped away when the shoes got closer. They watched as she sat on Schwoz's toolbox-on-wheels and removed her cute sneakers, ready to wear the not-so-cute ones. "I don't care what you guys think! I did the right thing!"

"You tell 'em, Mika!" (y/n) chirped, knowing she'd throw the shoes in the incinerator once her doofus wasn't looking. 

She'd also congratulate the girl for standing up for herself - a brave thing to do when it meant going against her friends. Still, for now, she had to wear the disgusting pumps and tolerate their mockery. 

"Shoes of Shame! Shoes of Shame! Shoes of Shame! Shoes of Shame!" 

When Ray started the chant, everyone else couldn't help but join in. They gradually got louder as the girl tied her laces, hating how annoyingly comfortable the sneakers were - well, for something that ugly, there had to be a benefit somewhere. 

"Y'know what? These shoes aren't that bad!" She told them, trying to block out the chanting as she stomped around in the fresh, plain memory foam. "I love how white they are!"

"Shoes of Shame! Shoes of Shame! Shoes of Shame! Shoes of Shame!"

"Yeah, Mika. I know some super cool dads who wear those exact shoes..." (y/n) joked, unable to stop giggling when she heard the girl muttering--anything to kid herself into thinking they looked decent. 

"Just who are these dads, sweet girl?" Ray mumbled into her hair as he wrapped his arms around her from behind, his tone hinting at jealousy and pettiness. 

"Oh, you know, doof..." replied his pretty girl, whispering under the shouting as she leaned back against his chest. "Just some unattractive, undoofy dads that I have no interest in whatsoever, so stop pouting."

"Oh, well... That's okay, then." 

Schwoz watched as his boss broke out into a lovestruck smile, loudly kissing the woman on her neck, which the children did not hear, thankfully. They were too preoccupied with teasing Mika, who had dramatically taken to lying on the floor and stamping her feet like a child in protest of the Shoes of Shame. 

It was strange, but the fuzzy weirdo liked it. He laughed at the silly sight they made and didn't even mind how Ray smothered the poor girl. 

To him, it was familiar and expected. It felt like home - like precisely where he belonged, with a man-child who openly adored his wife and no one else, that wife who adored everyone else anyway, and enough kids to cause no end of chaos.

[justin8]

(OOC pinned post)

This is a Pokémon roleplay blog for my character Justin! A few things about him:

He is an asshole who hits people (literally would rather fistfight someone than battle with Pokémon)

He was "banished to Alola" (sent there on probation) for committing arson in Kanto

He is 13 and yet still filled with rage and crimes

He has one Pokémon, a Rowlet named Orb

He is not Rotomblr savvy. He'll get a new icon eventually, I promise /lh

He says "parole" when he means "probation" because he's a kid who uses words wrong

Info about the blog:

This blog is 100% open for people to interact with, but won't typically reach out to other people unprompted. Most people you see this blog engaging with are my friends who I know are okay with being accosted by a mean child lol

Justin is 13, but I (the blogger) am an adult, so please keep both of those things in mind when engaging

This character swears, just fair warning

Asks are on, but any I feel are inappropriate/uncomfortable to answer will be deleted

OOC asks/Asks directed at the blogger are totally cool! Just please indicate it's for me/OOC somehow (parentheses, adding "OOC" in front, etc.) so I don't have to guess

This is literally just for fun!! I am not up-to-date on any PokéIRL lore/rules and don't plan to be, so don't expect much. I just like the idea of Justin blogging about his thoughts

This blog doesn't abide by magic anons/mail/other things like that; it's just supposed to be a kid using a normal social media platform

Some posts are tagged as "unreality", but it's just the ones that I feel would be alarming to see out of context (such as posts where he yells about being caught by authorities or being injured)

(This post may be added to later if I feel it's necessary)

[mushroom-for-art]

♡

synbe my beloved? perhaps?

Shadow au Maybe is just

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●● | ATTRACTION

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●● | AFFECTION

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●● | INTEREST

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●● | LOYALTY

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●● | TRUST

Trust is higher because literally they are fused and combined with each other through the crystals literally cannot not trust him he holds the entirety of her entity in his hands and can just be inside her brain holding her essence like damn could probably kill her! But he won't cause that's him wife!!! Never not interested attracted to and affectionate for her hubby with extra loyalty because like spoilers but she's stupid devoted to him, I think even with their connection through the crystal he still always intrigues and captivated her because even connected he has his little quirks and can sneak off and leave the radius of their bond and do sneakies she's not aware of he will always surprise her<3

Canon Maybe has a pair of binoculars and is currently wondering who that stranger is outside 🔍 (no binocular emoji crimes) (before at first meeting/after getting to know him)

●●○○○ / ●●●●● | ATTRACTION (who is that kinda handsome stranger outside I dont know him but he kinda good looking but also who the fuck are u)/ will tell him openly how attractive she finds him (when she's got the confidence), and not just the physical attraction, nothing more attractive really than a man who tries and heals and is full of love (the fact she also thinks he's eye candy is a bonus)

●●○○○○○/●●●●● | AFFECTION (while not knowing him she's very familiar with shadows and has a weird kinda relationship to the concept holds nostalgia familiarity and empathetic sympathetic affection for him because are you okay? Affection in the caring sense not the nuzzle sense if that even makes sense)/ now she will nuzzle that mother fucker get down here so we can nose nuzzle u fuck <- Maybe @ Syn lovingly

●●●●●/●●●●● | INTEREST (Sir are you OKAY she is so interested who is this man frfr is he here to start a fight with darkness she is shouting to her creator I do not answer XD)/ still just as interested in him but now like just for him and not the sir who are you please don't deck my sister aspect, thinks he's strange in a nice way he's different to her really they probably have very little in common or overlap and yet they click it's nice

●●○○○/●●●●● | LOYALTY (doesn't know him but DOES feel a duty of care for him he is a mewtwo like her the same species and potentially inflicted by shadow and desperately needing help she didn't take an oath of care but like! Still has that loyalty to her morals to care for him would feel a deep sense of like commitment to stay by his side during his recovery! Like damn you are not okay I want to make sure you're going to be okay though!)/lmao ur not getting rid of her Syn sorry she's like a wart, much like shadow au there's the very real chance she would choose him over her own kin given the circumstances

○○○○○/●●●●● | TRUST (I wish I knew how to make that emoji because I'd make the circles maxed out grey circles because upon first seeing him she WANTS to trust him so so badly wants to really hope there's a pokemon in there a pokemon who will accept help and isn't just rabid and lacking any sense or soul she wants to believe and trust him that he won't hurt her won't try to steal her life ya know wants to believe he's trustworthy)/her goober, loves and trusts him whole heartedly but will still get the jeebies if he tries to hand her something because my love please, please I swear if this is a bug. Syns probably brought her half dead things before, just hmm I love u here's a rattata so you can drain its life force and be strong. Maybe just ilu but please stop bringing me half dead animals XD I don't wanna put my hands out and receive a pachurisu but thank you for the thought.

[wonderfuldeath]

.o| Bad Temptation : XIII |o.

Warnings : Violence, injury, graphic depictions, sex

Please, consider supporting me on Ko-Fi ! ♥

Jung Hoseok had no real ritual in his daily life. He lived a little from day to day, hoping to find good company or simply a few souls to serve him. It must have been around midnight when the doorbell rang, making him look up at the mansion's grand clock. The Underworld wasn't a very welcoming place. No one really liked to visit Lucifer's son in person, preferring to meet him in the beauty of the world above. So Hoseok dragged his feet to the huge doors, at least three times his size, wondering who could be bothering him at such a late hour. He hoped his surprise guest had a good reason to spoil his intimate moment with his pot of mint chocolate chip ice cream. An Ivanovich, obviously.

“- Elyzabeth?

- I… I need to talk to you… Can I come in?”

The demon's eyes gaze down at her. She's barely dressed in a nightgown that doesn't even cover her properly. She seems to have undergone the greatest ordeal of a lifetime, and Hoseok has to contain himself so as not to come out of his lair and go destroy the creep that was his beloved's husband. Without hesitation, he steps aside to let her in. She's shaken, shocked, trembling, and seems on the verge of collapse as she struggles to calm her asthma attack. Hoseok stays by her side to make sure she's all right, snapping his fingers to order his imps to bring him something to warm the new arrival, and quickly. He helps her settle on the sofa, then runs to fetch a cup of hot coffee, accompanied by small cookies homemade that very morning, waiting patiently for her to calm down so he can resume the conversation.

“- Heisukei kicked me out. He doesn't want to see me anymore, ever. He's going to ask for a divorce.

- What happened?

- He found out you and I were having an affair.

- How did he find out? That journalist creep said it? I swear I'm going to…

- No, you won't. Taehyung had absolutely nothing to do with it. Heisukei came across the pregnancy test I took.”

It takes a moment for the news to reach Hoseok's brain. His gaze remains lost for a second, before his eyes suddenly widen. He turned completely towards her, trying to understand what she had just said. Elyzabeth was pregnant. She hadn't slept with her husband in two years, since he'd made the despicable decision to cheat on his wife with one of his sophisticated magic students. Hoseok was the only man she'd had in bed since that incident. That could only mean one thing.

“- You're pregnant with my child.

- Who else do you want me to be?”

She stared at him, probably wondering if he had enough intelligence to raise a child. Hoseok, for his part, allows a smile to form on his lips. But his eyes also caught the marks on Elyzabeth's body. The bastard had surely tried to make the baby disappear. Hoseok couldn't stay calm and abruptly stood up, ready to put an end to the rotten wizard's life, but Elyzabeth's wounded little hand held him back, preventing him from committing a crime on her behalf. Obviously, Hoseok wasn't risking much, but she preferred not to take any chances. She couldn't see herself telling their future child that her father had turned to sushi. Elyzabeth played with her fingers, while Hoseok immediately calmed down, a million incoherent thoughts crossing his eyes. Then, a radiant smile finally lights up his face.

“- I'm going to be a dad.

- Yes.”

They both burst out laughing before kissing. They would no longer need to hide, no longer need to remain in the shadows. Hoseok felt the irresistible urge to pick up the phone, to call that despicable human and tell him the big news. He wants to shout it from the rooftops, hold a press conference, let the world know that he's about to become a father. But Elyzabeth brings him back down to earth. It was one o'clock in the morning, and Taehyung was with Jungkook. That meant they either had to sleep or… make babies. It was a bad idea to interrupt a vampire in the midst of procreation; it would be signing his death warrant. Very bad idea. Hoseok, like a euphoric child, couldn't settle down. He was going to be a father. But there was no room ready, no place to welcome a baby. And if it was a wizard, it would need daylight to grow properly. If it was a demon, it would need the dark corridors of the Underworld and fallen souls. No one had ever heard of hybridization between a demon and another species. Normally, the baby had to be either one or the other. Not both. Yet Hoseok had a doubt, if only for a moment, as he looked at his divining witch, as if she already held the answer.

“- No, you know I can't guess my own future.

- Let's ask Granny Ivanovich.

- Why should we? There's never been any problem with that.

- But there's never been a vampire marking a human before either.”

Hoseok's words make sense, enough to make Elyzabeth hesitate for the first time. She remained silent before nodding. The very next day, she would go with Hoseok to consult their future. And that of the little being growing inside her womb. Elyzabeth couldn't help smiling as she placed her hand on the new life. Hoseok embraces her passionately, wrapping his fingers around her belly as if he were holding the universe itself in his hands.

“- We're going to have a baby. A little being… Who do you think he'll look like?

- Me, of course.”

Hoseok puts on a falsely outraged face, which makes Elyzabeth burst out laughing. He follows her laughter with a loving hug. Hoseok promises himself: even if he had to destroy the world for this baby, he'd do it without hesitation. The world would disappear beneath his fingers if he had to. It was still very early when Hoseok and Elyzabeth went to old Mamie Ivanovich's divination salon. Mamie Ivanovich was an elderly woman, one of the oldest witches still alive in the world. Many rumors circulated about her, but she never said anything. Some thought she was science itself, others that she came from a time long past. She also possessed the largest grimoire of any witch. A grimoire so imposing that it couldn't levitate in front of her like the others; she had to put it on a desk. But to be perfectly honest, Granny Ivanovich didn't need it for this kind of séance. All she needed were a few candles and closed curtains. Everything took place in smoke and silence. She was not to be disturbed during her work, or face severe reprisals. Many people had already been banned from her salon for a simple misplaced laugh.

“- Oh, my children, I see a lot of problems with this pregnancy.

- Problems, Mamie?

- Nothing insurmountable, of course. But beware, shadows of evil will try to get in your way.

- What shadows of evil?

- I don't know.”

The old woman seems doubtful, searching the thick mist for more precise information. Unfortunately, for some time now, the magic of divination had become uncertain, unreliable. Not to say almost imperceptible. Mamie Ivanovich blew on the candles, stroking her chin in the manner of the great sages, her eyes marked by a life too full of knowledge. Knowledge was sometimes not the best solution, but it did make it easier to face challenges.

“Young people, a historic turning point is approaching. The world as we know it is about to change. Beware of the wolves that will devour you, fight for the right causes and you'll be saved. Or let the shadows swallow you up. The choice is yours.”

[mariana-oconnor]

The Red-Headed League Pt 2

until the comical side of the affair so completely overtopped every other consideration that we both burst out into a roar of laughter.

Professional people being professional. Mmhm. You'd think a doctor would be better at keeping a straight face, I'm pretty sure humans have been sticking inappropriate things in inappropriate places since time immemorial. But these two are giggling like school boys. A lovely image, but I'd be a bit mad if they did it to me. I can't blame Mr Wilson for being mad at them.

Finally, I went to the landlord, who is an accountant living on the ground-floor, and I asked him if he could tell me what had become of the Red-headed League. He said that he had never heard of any such body. Then I asked him who Mr Duncan Ross was. He answered that the name was new to him.

Surprising no one at all. I said it in my comments about the first part, but I love how this whole scam has been echoed in heist shows/films right up to modern day. Acquire offices under false pretences, create hype around fake business, use office to make business look legit, pack up shop and leave an empty office behind and no one with any clue what the mark is talking about.

"I went home to Saxe-Coburg Square, and I took the advice of my assistant. But he could not help me in any way. He could only say that if I waited I should hear by post.

I mean, honestly, for someone who is supposedly unassociated with the league in question, that's more than he should be able to say. A more normal response would be 'That's fucking weird, boss. I think it might be a scam.' But clearly Victor is entirely trustworthy, so I shouldn't question him. Totally trustworthy.

On the contrary, you are, as I understand, richer by some 30 pounds, to say nothing of the minute knowledge which you have gained on every subject which comes under the letter A.

I expect that pub quizzes weren't around in 1890, but if they were, Mr Wilson would be an excellent addition to your team.

The internet tells me pub quizzes only date back to the 70s. Which seems late, as I swear my Mum's dad and brothers used to go religiously to their local league when she was young, but maybe I got the timeline on that wrong.

Further investigation has found me to be correct as the very league my family used to frequent is apparently referenced in an article from the early 60s. In fact it quotes someone who absolutely must have known my grandad and might even be in the picture of the quiz team on top of our bookcase.

This tangent has been brought to you by my love of trivia... Pun intended.

Back to the 1890s

"Why did you pick him?"

"Because he was handy and would come cheap."

"At half-wages, in fact."

"Yes."

A lesson that stands to this day: if something seems impossibly good value, it probably is. And if someone is willing to work for less than they're worth, one of you is the bad guy.

"As a rule," said Holmes, "the more bizarre a thing is the less mysterious it proves to be. It is your commonplace, featureless crimes which are really puzzling, just as a commonplace face is the most difficult to identify. But I must be prompt over this matter."

This reads like a contradiction, but I'm pretty sure it's true. It's the weird things that make crimes stand out and lead to the people committing them. The crimes that are completely run of the mill, like house burglaries, are one of a thousand almost identical crimes. But if a juggling clown robbed a shoe shop and rode off on a unicycle, that would cut down the suspects drastically.

"To smoke," he answered. "It is quite a three pipe problem, and I beg that you won't speak to me for fifty minutes."

Infamous line is infamous. All problems may be measured by how many pipes it takes to solve them. The standard SI unit of mysteriousness, I believe.

"Sarasate plays at the St. James's Hall this afternoon," he remarked. "What do you think, Watson? Could your patients spare you for a few hours?"

"I have nothing to do to-day. My practice is never very absorbing."

Let's hope no one has stuck a candlestick anywhere unmentionable... But seriously, you can just ditch your patients for the day? And I complain about waiting times for the NHS!

Watson is just: 'My bff asked me to play hooky. Lol. Byeee!' and these people are paying him.

"Smart fellow, that," observed Holmes as we walked away. "He is, in my judgment. the fourth smartest man in London, and for daring I am not sure that he has not a claim to be third. I have known something of him before."

Holmes, the man is a terrible con artist. He's the most suspicious and he was so obvious it was embarrassing. And you're putting him right behind you in the list? (I assume Mycroft is number 1)

I guess that being intelligent doesn't mean you have to be good at conning people, but really, he's terrible at it. He couldn't have been more obviously involved if he had a sandwich board on saying 'The red-headed league is a con. Ask me how!'

I know Mr Wilson didn't work it out, but literally everyone else did. I bet that 14 year old child labour maid Mr Wilson hires knows he's a con man and just doesn't care because she's not paid enough to.

"Not him."

"What then?"

"The knees of his trousers."

I have been on this website too long, because my mind absolutely went into the gutter here. Which, incidentally, was also one of the places I thought of his knees being.

"Let us now explore the parts which lie behind it."

Is it a bank? Please be a bank. I honestly can't remember. But I want it to be a bank. Just for that good, old-fashioned bank robbery shenanigans. Although I will accept jewellery shop.

"There is Mortimer's, the tobacconist, the little newspaper shop, the Coburg branch of the City and Suburban Bank, the Vegetarian Restaurant, and McFarlane's carriage-building depot."

Oh yeah. Got to love a bank robbery. Classic.

This has been copied so many times in media it's difficult to tell whether contemporary audiences would have been as able to work it out as modern readers. But it's a classic for a reason.

Also worth noticing that there's a Vegetarian restaurant in London in 1890. You'd have been hard pressed to find a vegetarian restaurant in most parts of England in 1990, so that's ahead of its time.

My friend was an enthusiastic musician, being himself not only a very capable performer but a composer of no ordinary merit. All the afternoon he sat in the stalls wrapped in the most perfect happiness, gently waving his long, thin fingers in time to the music, while his gently smiling face and his languid, dreamy eyes were as unlike those of Holmes, the sleuth-hound, Holmes the relentless, keen-witted, ready-handed criminal agent, as it was possible to conceive.

Watson's crush is showing again. 😆

This description keeps going in a further totally heterosexual way. Look, I'm not saying straight guys can't appreciate their bff's 'languid, dreamy eyes', but when directly compared to his descriptions of other characters... This is exceptionally effusive is all I'm saying.

And, I say, Doctor, there may be some little danger, so kindly put your army revolver in your pocket.

Must. Not. Make. Joke.