#I wish I could see a doctor but I can't anymore

[vitiateoriginator]

Im incredibly miserable right now, I was awake all night for the second time in a row from coughing. And what's worse is that I kept my datemate up, again. I literally took cough medicine before bed too and it didn't work at all

[omarfor-orchestra]

.

[flowercrowngods]

based on this post, because at this point i think it's safe to say @unclewaynemunson is actually my muse or something (hi anna i hope this is okay even though it’s, like, way angsty and way too long huh)

🤍 also on ao3

Two days after Starcourt, concussed and beaten, Steve has a seizure.

His ears are still ringing when the doctor gives him a stern glance over the rim of his glasses and pronounces him unfit to drive. No, in fact, he claims Steve poses a real danger to himself and others if he sat behind a wheel again.

Immediately, Dustin and Robin jump to promising that they won't let him do that, and in another life Steve is sure he would be grateful, or at least reasonable about it, but in this one he has a horrible second where the floor falls out from under him and he wishes, for just one second, that his head had been shaken a bit more, just enough to–

It makes him nauseous even thinking that. Everything does, lately. He closes his eyes against the offensive brightness of the hospital room and lets the sound of Dustin's and Robin's voices wash over him as he takes a moment to really take in what the doctor's orders entail.

He can't drive anymore. No more late night drives to watch the street lights pass and lull him into a safer state of mind than his bedroom walls could. No more driving the kids to their DnD sessions, no more taking Robin anywhere at the drop of a hat, no more bickering, no more reign over the music, no more stern glances through the rearview mirror, no more "Shut up, Wheeler, or you're leaving the car."

No more "Thanks, Steve!", no more "I'll bring some of mom's cookies if you drive us to the arcade", no more "You're the best" or "You're a lifesaver" or "I owe you one".

No more place for him in the group, no more use for him, no more...

No more. Nothing. Now he's just Steve, would-be lifesaver, 'has-been babysitter', 'could-have-been somebody until he lost his license to drive because he wasn't quick enough, wasn't good enough, wasn't strong enough'. Just Steve.

He doesn't know how to be that. Who is Steve Harrington without his car, without the one thing he was good for anymore?

The pit in his chest is deep enough, dark enough to pull him in, and for a moment the very thing he is good for is misery.

He waits until a nurse makes everyone leave for the night, and then he cries. It makes his head hurt, pressure building behind his eyes, but he's used to being in more pain than any teenager should be in, so he curls in on himself and hides underneath the blanket.

Here's to hoping the others won't notice just how useless he is now. Not too soon, anyway. He wants another month. A painless month filled with laughter and hugs, and then they're free to leave, to pull back slowly. Calls unanswered, radio channels changed so he won't reach them, sheepish apologies and rain checks, because now Nancy will drive them. Or Jonathan. Hell, maybe Max will take the risk just to avoid him.

---

He gets a week of daily visits in the hospital, the doctors and nurses insisting on keeping him here, a watchful eye on his vitals, scanning his head three times during his stay, insisting he has head trauma of a severely worrying degree.

Nancy picks him up from the hospital and it's awkward, tense, too much left unsaid between them but there's no one else to do it. Steve's hands are shaking, gripping the seatbelt the whole way home – and then his heart falls when he sees his Beemer in the driveway. The glorious, trusty, wonderful, best fucking car anyone could wish for. His baby. His.

He throw up into the brushes when he realises that he won't get to take it on one last ride. Maybe he shouldn't be so attached to a car. Maybe he's being pathetic about it. At least he can explain away the fat tears in his eyes now, and Nancy doesn't press.

The first thing he does when Nancy is gone is calling Robin, and she's excited when she says, "I'll come right over!" and Steve wants to ask, how, but he keeps his mouth shut, biting his lip. It's stupid, but the thought of someone else driving Robin over makes his skin crawl.

"Alright," he says instead, his voice raspy, and he hangs up before she can detect something in his voice.

After that, he goes outside again and runs his hand along his Beemer. It's shining in the sun; he had it cleaned the other week, the full program, every step in the book to celebrate four years since he got her.

"Four years, huh," Steve says, his nail catching on a minor scratch that isn't even visible but might be more familiar to him than even his home. "Damn good four years."

He's talking to his car. God, it's so stupid, it's so stupid, it's so stupid–

Steve's knees give out and he gives in to the desire that's burning under his skin sometimes, the desire to just sit down and ignore the world. Because everything is less real when you're sitting down somewhere you're not meant to be, and the ground is warm, and Steve just wants the world to go. His head is leaning back against the warm metal of the driver's door, and he closes his eyes for a while, his head still spinning, his ears still ringing, everything still awful.

After a while, there’s a shadow followed by a weight settling down between him, a head landing on his shoulder, a hand taking his.

"I'm so sorry, Stevie," Robin says. The lack of dingus makes it more real, somehow. More tragic. More pathetic.

"I'll live." And it feels a bit like a lie.

---

He gets his month. A month filled with barbecues in his backyard, the kids coming by after school to check on him, and Robin has practically moved in. Joyce picks him up on Friday nights for dinner at their house for a change of scenery.

It’s a good month, though Steve feels trapped. Caged. A bird without his wings, a boy without his car. Steve without his one purpose, the one thing he was good for. He has to be picked up because they don’t trust him walking, or they have to come to his place. And soon the worried glances that are thrown his way are too much, caging him further, reminding him of what this is. A pity party — quite literally. No one trusts him anymore, there’s always someone jumping to help him, not caring or listening to his protests.

And he can’t leave, because “What if you have a seizure in your room?”

It makes him want to scream.

Maybe it shows, or maybe everyone’s just fed up with him now that he can’t provide his taxi services anymore, but after summer the Byers dinners stop and the kids pull away.

“Told you that’s all I’m good for,” Steve says with a mean, pained huff as he hangs up the phone. Claudia said Dustin isn’t home, but he could hear the kids in the background. It hurts more than it should.

“What is?” Robin asks from her place on the floor with her back against the wall.

“Nothing.”

She frowns. “Come on, dingus, you can’t start and then—“

“No, I mean it. Nothing. That’s what I’m good for now that I can’t drive them anymore.”

“Bullshit!” she says, and it comes out so harsh that it makes Steve flinch. He swallows. Right. Robin isn’t hear to listen to him whine about how he feels like he has no place in this town, in this group, in this life anymore now that his head is so fucked up he can’t even be trusted to live alone.

That’s why Robin is here, right?

The babysitter becomes the babysitted… or something.

She doesn’t care, not really. She doesn’t listen. She doesn’t ask.

“Steve, they’re kids.”

“Yeah, well. So am I.”

He turns away from her and ignores the tears threatening to fall. The door to his room falls shut and he would love to lock it just to make a point to the world at large, a point that it can’t shut him out if he shuts himself in, but he knows it’s too risky. If he has a seizure, Robin needs to get in.

He can’t even stay in his room alone without supervision anymore. What kind of a fuck-up is he becoming, where does it end? He’s already managed to chase away the kids, even Dustin only checks on him sporadically anymore, and it hurts. He wants to know why, wants to know what he did, how to take it back, how to get them back.

But then he remembers how it all started. Dustin needed a ride and someone to take a beating. Both of which he can’t do anymore without risking life and death of himself and others. He’s a safety hazard. He’s useless. He’s Steve fucking Harrington, which doesn’t mean anything anymore.

---

And then it’s spring, and Chrissy Cunningham is found dead in Eddie Munson’s trailer. The group is back together again, the Party assembled once more. And Steve, for a just one second, hopes that he can get it right this time, that he can do this again. One last time. Because Vecna slash Henry slash One surely is it.

But then they turn on him — even Eddie looks confused, which is a rather adorable look on him — the moment Steve tries to get a word in.

“You’re not coming with us, Steve.” That’s Dustin, and Steve just rolls his eyes, but then Robin joins in.

“Yeah, no, I’m with the gremlin on this, dingus.”

“Hey!”

“Oh shut it, Henderson.” She turns to him, her eyes softer but no less burning another hole inside Steve. “We can’t risk it, Steve.”

“Risk what?” It’s a challenge. His shoulders squared, his jaw clenched, he’s challenging her, and it’s cruel.

She holds his eyes, her expression icy, like he’s stupid. “We can’t risk you dying. We can’t risk you getting a seizure mid-fight or just by being in the Upside Down.”

“Hey, woah,” Eddie tries to get a word in, but Steve won’t hear him as the desperation, the loneliness, the feeling of being caged like a bird and still the only human left on a desolate planet, all that breaks free.

“We all know that dying in a fight is the only thing I’m good for anyway.”

The silence among their war council, as Max dubbed it, is deafening.

“What?” Lucas sounds small when he asks that, and Steve closes his eyes. He hadn’t meant for him to hear that. Any of them, actually. They weren’t supposed to know.

“Steve, that’s not true.” Dustin’s words are filled with disbelief and worry, and Steve hates the worry, it makes his skin crawl, it makes his heart race, it makes his fists clenched and it makes him want to scream again.

“What else then, huh?” he asks weakly. “What else is there? None of you even talk to me anymore since Starcourt. Since summer.”

“Because you were pulling away,” Nancy explains, though her words are weak and her mouth clicks shut when Steve looks at her.

“Because we’re scared.” Max this time, and Steve doesn’t want to look at her, doesn’t want to tell a child that she’s not allowed to be scared for him— not more than he is, anyway. It doesn’t make sense for him to be hurt. They don’t want him to die. That’s a good thing, right? They didn’t want to see him hurt, so they looked away. It makes sense.

But it also hurts.

Steve shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose before all but running from the trailer. He doesn’t make it far (“Stay close so we won’t have to worry”), just needs some fresh air and to sit down somewhere the world will become a bit less real again.

The stairs it is. He tries to breathe through the lump in his throat, clenching and unclenching his hands to get rid of the anger and the hurt and all that excess energy.

He doesn’t want to die, is the thing. The very thought makes him nauseous and panicky. He wants his life back. His car. The freedom to just jump in there and get away. He doesn’t want the cage or the worry or the hovering or the loneliness when he isolates himself from all that.

Face buried in his hands, Steve almost misses it when someone comes to sit beside him. The thick smell of leather and cigarettes tells him who it is without looking up.

Eddie doesn’t speak for a while, just sits with him as Steve calms down.

And then, after a while, he lights a cigarette and asks, “You get seizures, Harrington?”

Steve nods. “Sometimes.”

Eddie hums. “That sucks.”

He nods again, and then that’s that. But even though it was a rhetorical question and Eddie didn’t even need an answer, it feels pathetically good to be asked about something. About himself. It only makes the pit inside his chest deeper, cutting into his soul with a sharp edge, this tiny little moment of normalcy. He wants to cling to it. He wants to talk to Eddie. God, he hasn’t really talked to anyone in so long.

“Before Starcourt — remember, the mall? The fire? Yeah that was, uhm. More monster shit. And Russians who thought I was a spy and then… yeah. Anyway. Uh. We used to be friends, I think. The kids and I. They used to care — or I like to think that they did. And then I got one too many head injuries, and the seizures started, and then they… It became too much. For them, for me. And the caring stopped. And, like, it’s fine or whatever, but I still care, and I can’t let them do all that alone. I know that all I was good for was taking them somewhere with my car, but I can’t drive anymore, so now I’m just… I’m just Steve. No titles attached, no use or function or point.”

Eddie just stares at him, puzzled and intrigued and even a little sad, and Steve wants to laugh it off when the silence stretches.

“Sorry, that’s kind of a sob story, you—“

“Wait here,” Eddie says, stubbing out his cigarette before disappearing back into the trailer. Steve watches him with a confused frown but stays put. A minute later, the door flies open and a scandalised looking Max appears, followed by the rest of the crew.

“You what?!”

“Uh,” Steve blinks. “I what?”

“Eddie told us you think you’re useless and that we don’t like you and that all you were ever good for is driving us from A to B with, like, no personal value whatsoever,” Dustin fills in, sounding no less bewildered. “Is that true, Steve?”

And God, the kid is so good at making all his questions sound like dares that Steve instinctively wants to swallow and negate it, tell them that Eddie misheard, that he’s fine, that everything fine.

But then Robin’s whispered little, “Steve” stops him from doing that. In fact, the sadness and confusion on their faces makes the dams break once more, confronted with months of spiralling and no one to drag him out, no one to listen.

Tears spring to his eyes and he gets up from the stairs to properly face them. He shrugs. It’s as much of a confirmation as anything.

And then Dustin sprints forward and tackle-hugs him, burying his face in Steve’s chest with no intention to let go anytime soon.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles into Steve’s shirt and Steve runs a hand through his hair immediately.

“It’s okay, Dustin.”

“No! It’s fucking not okay, Steve, stop saying that. You’re my big brother, you’re my best friend, you’re my hero! You’re the coolest guy I know and nothing’s gonna change that, okay?”

“Then why’d you leave?” His voice is so small, but Dustin only hugs him tighter.

“Because you were hurting and I was… I feel like all of that is my fault.”

“Why would it be your fault, Dustin?”

He shrugs, and it breaks Steve’s heart. Dustin thinks everything is his fault just like Steve thinks it’s his.

“It’s me who got you into the thing with the Russians. I insisted. And you were tortured for it, Steve! You… You told us to go, and we did, and then we came back and you were— you-“

“Hey,” Steve whispers, curling himself around and over Dustin. “Hey, no, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. None of that.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry I pulled away, Steve,” Dustin sniffles and looks up at him. “I swear it’s not because I think you’re useless. It’s just… I’m so scared.”

And it makes sense, somehow. The anger leaves Steve when he whispers, “Me too. And I don’t like it when you’re all scared and worried. I hate it.”

“I know. Sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Shut up.”

And then they’re both laughing with tears in their eyes. Lucas and Max join them with their own promises that Steve isn’t worthless to them.

“Did you read my letter? You know, the one if…”

“No,” Steve says. “You told me not to.”

“Right. Anyway, read it. Whatever happens, I want you to read it. Because you’re my brother and you mean too much for me to, like, never let you know. But, uh. Billy died. And I hated him, but it fucked me up. And then you almost died, and then you almost died again; and then you just… collapsed. And I thought, I cant do this again, not with someone I actually like. Not with you. And I didn’t wanna watch. I watched Billy. I… I can’t watch you die, Steve.”

She’s crying by the end of it, and Steve pulls her against his chest. Shit, he hadn’t meant to make anyone cry like that.

“It’s okay, Max, I get it.”

“Not okay,” she shakes her head again. “I know it’s not. But—“

“I know.” He’s stroking through her hair. “I know.”

“Uh, guys? I hate to break up the heartfelt confession time,” Eddie chimes in. “But I think our window is closing.”

Right. The end of the world.

With one last squeeze to Max’s shoulders, he lets her go and they gather their things. Discussions about Steve’s joining their mission have been put on hold while their window is still open. They can continue this later.

Nancy drives while Max holds Steve’s hand in the back. They don’t talk and she has her headphones on, letting Kate Bush work her magic, but it’s fine. It feels a bit like healing.

He catches Eddie’s eyes on the other side and holds them for a while. Eddie smiles before looking away, and Steve does the same.

---

In the end, Steve doesn't climb the rope with them. He stays behind in Eddie's trailer even though every fibre of his being screams at him to join. But Nancy has a point when she explains to him that she and Robin got this. It's the first time he stays behind, and he hopes it will be the last.

They hug him before leaving, all of them. Promises are made to talk about this later, after, and he nods.

"Go save the world for me," he tells Robin, holding her tight, unwilling to let go.

"Only for you," she promises, and kisses his cheek before pulling away. "You better be right here when we come back."

He shrugs and gives her an encouraging smile. "I've got nowhere else to be, Buckley. Now go." The last words are whispered and it feels like goodbye. Steve should join them, he should be there! But his head is pulsing and he knows that one wrong move could leave him half blind with a migraine, and they don't need one more handicap.

The one thing he can do, though, is helping them climb the rope, and it makes him feel ridiculously proud, seeing them land safely on the other side, smiling up (or down?) at him. Robin and Nancy wave one last time before heading off.

That leaves him alone with Eddie and Dustin. The latter is already climbing the rope, itching to finally do something, preparing the trailer for their plan.

Only Eddie is left, and Steve looks over at him.

"Will you be okay, Steve?"

"Sure."

Eddie sighs and looks up at the gate, disbelief and resignation and even a hint of fascination in his eyes.

"It should be you," he says, and Steve frowns, confused. "You're the hero here."

"No," Steve huffs, smiling at the metalhead. "No, I'm no hero. The real heroes are already up there, and in California. The real hero died after Starcourt. I'm just the driver who lost his license, the boy with the bat. The protector who needs to be protected."

Eddie looks at him again, that kind of intense stare, the one that shows Steve that Eddie sees something in him. He wonders what it is, but isn't sure he wants to know.

"I think you're wrong, Steve." He says it with such gentle conviction that it takes Steve's breath away for a second, and something passes between them as they hold each other's eyes.

Eddie opens his mouth to say something, but then–

"Eddie!" Dustin is calling for him from the other side, and the boys snap out of their daze.

Steve steps into Eddie's personal space and pulls him to his chest. "Make him pay," he says. "But stay safe. Come back, okay? First sign of danger, you abort mission. Come back, Eddie. I'll be right here."

"Yeah," Eddie rasps, and he squeezes Steve once more. "Catch me when I fall through that gate in two hours?"

Steve laughs, a sad little thing, and he pushes Eddie away from him, hands steady on his shoulders. "Sure, big boy."

"Hey, that's my part."

"Say it when you come back, then."

This thing passes between them again, and then Eddie goes to climb the rope. Steve's hands find their way to his hips, steadying him, but Eddie is strong enough to pull himself up without problem. Huh.

"In the meantime, wrap your head around the fact that you're the one I'm coming back for, pretty boy."

And then Eddie is gone. Steve watches as he falls through the gate, landing on the mattress with more elegance this time, and then he, too, grins down (or up?) at Steve.

He gives a little wave, and then he is alone.

Plenty of room to think when your friends have gone on a suicide mission and you're the one who has to stay behind. The one who will have to do the explaining when things go south. The one who will have to watch and listen, helpless.

It makes him regret the past few months, the self isolation, all the times he pulled back, all the times he didn't push for an explanation or a conversation, all the times he hadn't asked the kids if they're alright because he was too caught up in all the ways that he wasn't.

God, he wants them to be okay. He wants to talk about this, wants them to tell him he's more than the driver without a license, more than the protector who needs protecting. He wants Eddie to come back and explain what he meant, say what he wanted to say. He wants...

He wants his old life back. But more than that, he wants them in his new life just as much. He wants to be brave enough for this new life and find a new purpose. Create one if he can't find it.

But he can't do it alone. He refuses to do it alone even one day more.

"Come back to me," he whispers, looking up at the gate from where he's sitting on the floor, back against the wall. "Come on guys, you've got this. Please work. Please, make the plan work."

And then, miraculously, it does. Eddie falls into his arms with an undignified squeal and the rest of the Party soon follow. They're unscathed, miraculously, and Steve cries as he holds them, all of them, in a group hug that makes the trailer smell like relief and grief and a new life ahead of them. Slowly, with an unnatural sound, the gate above them closes, and then silence reigns.

They cling to him now. Refuse to let go. Good thing he has nowhere to go as Lucas gasps and sobs into his chest, explaining what happened, that Jason almost destroyed the walkman, that Max could have died. And Steve runs shaky hands through his hair, pulling in Max, too, so the three of them can just hold each other for a second.

Dustin and Eddie are hugging beside them, and Nancy and Robin hold hands, a different kind of horror in their eyes, but they smile wetly at Steve as their eyes meet.

It's over. It's done.

They did it. They really did it.

Steve closes his eyes and holds Lucas and Max tighter. They don't complain.

---

Three days later, Steve's house is brimming with life again like it hasn't in months. Turns out, Hopper survived, and he hugged Steve for a whole five minutes, telling him he did good, he did great, he's a hero. Again with that shit that Steve doesn't believe, but he doesn't have the heart to tell Hop, so he just buries deeper into their embrace.

"It's good you're alive," he tells him, and the Chief sobs out a laugh.

"You too, kid. This town would be lost without you."

"Yeah, right," Steve laughs back, and then that is that.

Except, it isn't, because when he returns to the living room with Hop, Joyce and El in tow, everyone's standing, looking at him with timid expressions. Robin and Eddie are holding hands this time, and so are all the kids. They all look like they have something to say, and the only thing missing is a large banner that says INTERVENTION.

"Uh, what's going on?"

Dustin is the first to clear his throat, but only after Erica kicks him. "We wanted to apologise. For leaving you when you needed us the most."

Oh. Steve's shaking his head, placating words already on the tip of his tongue, ready to explain to them how that's not their fault, how that was all him, he could have said something, he could have asked, he could have–

"Steve," Nancy says, effectively cutting off any protest he could have voiced. "Just listen, okay? Don't say anything."

He looks at Joyce, who nods, and Hopper who looks about as lost as he feels.

Dustin continues then. "You deserved better, Steve, you really, really did. We all did, I think, but you... You put yourself in harm's way from the get-go."

"Yeah, you came to protect me when you didn't even like me." Jonathan this time. "No thoughts, just protection. I owe my life to you. Every single one in this room does, y'know."

"And what you got for it is severe head trauma and... us abandoning you." Nancy.

"You're not just the driver, Steve. You never were just a driver to us." Hell, even Mike is in on this? "You're annoying, you suck, and you don't even try not to act like you're everyone's big brother."

"You're family, Steve." Oh, baby Byers. That's what gets his eyes stinging and his lip trembling, so he bites down on it so they won't have to see. It's futile with the way they're smiling.

"Yeah. You're so much more than our babysitter," Lucas explains. "You're the best basketball coach."

"You actually listen to my music and read comics with me," Max continues with a smile. "You suck just a little less than everyone else in this town."

"Hey!"

"No, she has a point."

Steve's not keeping up with the who's who anymore, he's trying too hard to keep it together.

"You teach me new words," El says, smiling. "You give me your clothes, you take me shopping, you teach me how to deal with meanies."

And the list goes on. Everyone has something to say to him, something beyond the ways he can be useful. Something that he is to them, something meaningful, something that sounds a lot like purpose and family.

"And we were so scared, because you were hurt. Because of us. You were protecting us, and look where it got you. You're a hero, Steve. As real as they get, you are one."

"More than Wonder Woman," Max agrees. "More than Superman. You're Steve! And that's... He’s our hero."

"He’s our brother," Dustin says.

"He’s my son," Joyce adds, taking his hand.

"He’s our friend," Erica, Mike and El say in unison.

“He’s the one we stay for.” Robin’s eyes shine as she smiles.

“And the one we come back for.” Eddie’s smile is gentle, confident, and captivating. Steve can’t look away, even through his own tears.

---

In the following months, Robin gets her license and Eddie develops a sixth sense for whenever Steve needs to just sit in a car and ride around town, watching the street lamps pass and letting them lull him to sleep. There’s an upside to being a passenger, he finds, because he falls asleep like this a few times, always waking when Eddie kills the engine. He drives for hours sometimes, admitting with a blush high on his cheeks that he didn’t want to wake Steve.

Somewhere on the highway to Indianapolis, between three and four in the morning, Steve looks at Eddie in the soft glow of the night, and finds that he’s fallen in love.

And in the weeks and months and years that follow, he realises that that’s something new he’s good at.

[russellsppttemplates]

lando request, where maybe the reader is heavily pregnant and late and is just very cranky overall, something like that one episode from friends where Rachel is late

Cw: reader's pregnant, curse words

"I just want this baby out", you groaned, waddling up to your husband as he opened and closed his hands to make you come closer to him, "is it that comfy in there? It isn't for me, feet kicking me everywhere and not letting me sleep, can't bend, can't move, i don't walk anymore, I'm a little penguin", you pouted.

"The doctor did your sweep", Lando reasoned, "and hopefully it kicks in soon, baby", he cooed, kissing your forehead, "do you want me to hold your bump for a bit?", he offered.

"It's just going to hurt again! It's not like it's a permanent fix, baby is still going to be inside, I'm still going to be in pain after you drop the bump", you argued, and at this point Lando knew better than to annoy you even further if he tried to see the positive in the situation, so he opted out to just hold you against him, rubbing your back and kiss your face everywhere, hoping you'd forget.

"Ugh, I need to pee", you grumbled, unlatching yourself from his hold and going up to the bathroom, "I know I usually complain when you follow me, but can you please come with me? I'm afraid I won't be able to get up on my own", you whispered as Lando promptly nodded.

Doing what you had to in the bathroom, you managed to brace yourself on the wall and get up on your own, washing your hands and wiping them on the towell before exiting, finding Lando there like you asked him to, "do you want to go lay down for a little bit?", he asked.

"No, I want to be upright, gravity and all", you said as he followed you to the living room where you tried your hardest to pull your hoodie off, "for fuck's sake", you groaned again, Lando right there to help you pull the hoodie off, "I can't do anything I want to do!", you said as you frustratedly pulled your arms from the sleeves, Lando standing there silently while folding the piece of clothing.

"Lando, baby", you said after a while, "yes, gorgeous?", he replied, "can you come here and lift my bump, please?", you wondered, "even if it for a little bit, I need the relief", you pointed out.

Placing his hands under your bump, Lando used his strength to lift the body part up, easing the pressure on your body as you sighed, "I wish you could walk around like this with me", you moaned, not caring about how it looked and sounded, "I can hold for a few moments", he said, kissing your cheek softly, "you better, I didn't marry an athlete for nothing".

(Thank you for submitting an ask ✨️)

[luveline]

For Eddie and Roan, can you write a ficlet where Roan wakes up sick and goes to Eddie's bed to wake him up and tell him she doesn't feel good and he's worried and takes her temperature and sees that she's fever, so he stays at home taking care of her?

eddie and roan ♡

Roan's head feels heavy as a bowling ball. She focuses very hard on not falling over, and so she doesn't realise you're awake and sitting up until she's climbing onto the bottom of your bed. 

“Hey, princess,” you whisper, holding your finger to your lips, “daddy's still sleeping.” 

She loves you, but she ignores you. She loves you, capital L, but she needs her dad. You don't try to stop her, the book on your thighs closing as you let your hiked knees fall. “Ro?” you ask. 

“Dad,” she whines, “I need you to be awake.” 

Eddie puts his hand up to her face. Roan groans and tips her head back as he feels along her head to the soft crop of hair at the base of her neck. “Why?” he asks hoarsely, pulling her in blindly.  

Parcelled against his chest, Roan can hardly breathe. “Daddy,” she says urgently. 

He lifts his head on the pillow, eyes peeled back painstakingly slowly. “What's the matter, Ro?” 

She knew he'd know there was something wrong. Her dad knows everything even when he says he doesn't, and her eyes fizzle with tears in the gentle embrace of his arm. He rubs her back accordingly. “What's wrong, baby?” he asks, adopting his softest of tones. 

Roan hides her face in his chest shyly. “I feel bad…” 

Eddie feels suddenly and extremely worried at the sight of her. He panics hard, heart in his mouth sort of panic, but then you touch his elbow and he remembers he's not doing it alone anymore. 

“What kind of sick?” he asks. 

Roan curls into her pill bug shape on top of him and cries about her head feeling weird and her tummy aching. He puts his hand on her stomach and finds it bloated despite it being rather small otherwise. He has no idea what it means, but he assures her it'll be okay the way he always does, murmurs said between teeny kisses pressed to her temple and his fingers raking down through her hair one rumpled curl at a time. 

Your second alarm rings. 

You get dressed quickly and Eddie doesn't move. He knows he can't go to work, not when she's like this. He can't imagine sending her to school, and can't imagine leaving her home this sort of sick without him. He remembers all those years ago feeling sick as a dog wishing Wayne could stay home just to keep him company, and he remembers being smaller, his mom on the couch, his sweaty head in her lap.  

You hop into one of your socks, smiling at him over her head. He smiles back. What can you do? it says. 

Perfume sprayed, hair done, you stand in the doorway brushing your teeth. “I can go get you some stuff before I go to work if I rush. Sorry, I wasn't thinking. She likes the cream of mushroom soup, right? Or is it cream of chicken?” 

“Both. Mushroom’s her favourite. And white rice. And cranberry juice.” 

“I know she wants cranberry juice,” you say around a mouthful of froth, waving your hand, “don't insult me, Eds.” 

He feels her forehead. She'd felt warm enough to guess she was sick, but her forehead is ember hot. “Aw, god,” he says, sitting up despite his twinging back, Roan held tight to his chest. “Can you get me a hand towel? Soak it in some cold water?” 

“Sure thing,” you say, rushing off. 

“This isn't cool, Ro, you weren't gonna tell me you're a human furnace? Thought we told each other everything?” he asks, brushing her hair back from her face. 

“I'm hot,” she says. 

He taps the tip of her nose. Her eyes focus on his finger, so he figures she'll be okay for now. “I know. I can feel it.” He'll hold a cold hand towel to her head for a bit to give her the chance to calm down, and if she doesn't cool he'll give her a lukewarm bath. There will be things to do, taking her temperature, calling the school, calling the doctor, rubbing her small back, but he's done it before. He can handle it without you. 

“I'm just a phone call away, okay?” you say, passing him the wrung towel carefully. “If you need anything, just call me.” You kiss his cheek, then Roan's. “Promise?” 

“I'll call you,” he says honestly. “But we'll be okay, won't we, babe?” 

Roan mumbles something unintelligible. Eddie's pretty sure she's saying we'll be fine. 

[phoenixblaze1412]

Could I request reader who is like huo huo from honkai star rail except the fear is of Dottore ^^

I apologise that this one took so long cause I had to learn about HuoHuo and even do the quests about her and I love it!

It was Pantalone who hired you. You were but a scared little foxian priestess that got lost in Inazuma in which the Regrator has found you during his mission and decided to take you back with him.

It took him months to get you to open up to him without having to be frightened about him or his status as a harbinger. He had shown you that he bore no ill-intent nor will he ever harm you.

So with time, came trust. You told him about your past and the Regrator offered you a more high-paying job to be his personal assistant.

Of course he knew about Mr. Tails, he doesn't mind how the spirit would be sarcastic or somewhat rude towards him. He's already used to it.

He would be dragging you along with him to every meeting. Protest or decline his offer all you want but he would keep a firm grip on you as you are forced to come out of your shy and introverted shell. Extrovert adopting an introvert dynamic.

Regrator would always show you off to his fellow harbingers. Even though said harbingers would always be complaining on why he would even keep you when you're just a coward. Pantalone was quick to argue that you are a hardworking and it would be such a waste to just let you die in the forest back then.

Capitano and Columbina adored you due to your foxian features. Childe liked talking to Mr. Tails and sometimes have some playful arguments with him. Those three harbingers you were comfortable to speak without stuttering but there's another harbinger who just makes you want to run away: Dottore.

You don't know why but seeing him everytime makes you want to dig a hole and bury yourself in it. He just has the vibe of something sinister and horrendous. You would always tell the Regrator about it but he would only jest about how you would be overthinking about it and to simply treat him as your superior since he is, after all, the second harbinger.

"Why do I have to go in the laboratory.. can't Lord Regrator just order someone else to do this.."

You cried out as you held the document to your chest, slowly walking along the quiet hallways down to Dottore's laboratory. You were about to knock on the door only to hear the sounds of someone screaming in anguish.

"....maybe no one is inside. I'll just deliver this another day-!"

You turned and were about to run back only to be stopped by Tails as he pushed you back to the door.

"Quit yapping already and just give the documents! We don't have all day to your complains. Best to get the job done and be over with it!"

"But I don't wanna! It's scary! Didn't you even hear that scream? Lord Dottore is probably torturing someone!"

"The only someone who's about to get tortured is you! If you don't deliver those stupid papers, I'm going to torture you instead!"

"You're so mean!"

You whined as you looked back to the door before taking a deep breath and knocked. You shakily opened the door and peeked inside only to see the entire room pitch black. You wanted to lay on the floor and cry so badly but tails was quick to keep pushing you inside, only for you to trip and scatter the documents Pantalone instructed you to hand over to Dottore.

"Mr. Tails I can't find the other papers! Lord Regrator is going to be upset at me and fire me! Wait.. this could be a great idea. If I'm fired then I don't have to face any of these scary stuff or see Lord Dottore anymore! I should start writing my resignation letter."

"Oh? You do not wish to see me anymore?"

The light of the room was turned on as you turned to face the doctor himself. You could only sit up at the floor as you watched him walk over to you. Tears already forming at the corner of your eyes as you crawled back, hoping to get a good distance from him. You couldn't even see his eyes. The only thing you could look at was his bird-like mask which makes it more horrifying.

"N-no I didn't mean it like that, sir.."

"Sweet little (Y/n).. you know I have very unique observation skills. From the first time we met, you were always quick to hide behind your master. So easily frightened like a small prey. You should know I felt a bit hurt to see you run away when I simply wanted to have a little chat..."

"I'm sorry... please don't kill me-!"

You were already on your feet as you ran towards another door behind you, screaming like a headless chicken. You ran and turned around a corner only to bump into a hard chest. You glanced up only to see Dottore smiling down at you as he grabbed your arm.

You shrieked in fear, not knowing how he was fast at catching up with you but you were definitely sure you were ahead of him. You let out a cry as you waved your arms around to squirm out of his grip, only to smack the mask off his face instead.

"Oh my goodness- I'm so sorry! Wah!"

You screamed in fright at what you saw. What you thought you were looking at were the eyes of harbinger was nothing but circuits and wires with a red diamond in the middle staring back at you. You quickly pushed him away and skedaddled away, not wanting to be in the laboratory anymore.

"Mr. Tails please help me! I don't want to die! Why are you not helping me?! I need you!"

You tripped on air as you skidded and fell to the floor. You cried as you glanced at Tails only to see him still stuck to you and not even bothering to help you out. You sat up and hugged your knees to your chest as you let out quiet sobs. Already thinking of the worse, you closed your eyes and waited for the doctor to torture you as well like what he does to his experiments.

You let out a squeak when you heard the sounds of heels clicking against the floor coming towards where you are. You glanced up and stared horrifed as you saw not only one but two Dottores walking up to you. One still has the mask on his face and the other one was who you accidentally smacked the mask away from.

"P-please don't kill me! I'll be good! I'll do anything just please don't hurt me!"

The Dottore with the mask was quick to shush your cries as he picked you up bridal style before walking back to his office.

"Not to worry, little one. I hold no malicious intent towards you nor will I harm you out of boredom. You being in this area of the laboratory, especially near the cells will surely lead you to your death if you keep running around. Although I do enjoy a little chase with you, we'll put that on hold for now. Omega, make sure you lock the area here."

"Very well, sir."

You were shaking the rest of the way back, sniffles and hiccups can be heard from you as you clung to Dottore's clothes. Your heart and mind still in shock from everything that has happened.

Dottore placed you on the couch in his office as he looked over you to make sure you didn't end up having any injuries from your little run. He held your chin between his fingers as he tilted your face from side to side, observing your features up close with a grin.

"...please don't experiment on me.. I'll do anything..."

"Silly fox, I just stated that I won't bring any harm to you. But if you're offering to do anything, then who am I to waste an opportunity?"

Your ears flattened against your head, tears rolling down your cheeks to which Dottore wiped them off with his thumbs as he lightly coo'ed and grabbed your hand. Oh, he definitely loved seeing how frightened you get so easily because of him. He wants to see it more. Something dangerous bubbling up from within him as he grinned at you, his grip on your hand tightening a bit which made you winced but he didn't even bother to notice.

"You said you'll do anything, yes? Then be mine. Work under me from now on. I'll handle Pantalone. Just stay here with me instead, hm?"

[justwinginglife]

What Lies After?

Y'all, spoilers- it's a depressing one and I'm so sorry in advance. I promise I'll post something more wholesome later.

You're dying.

You're dying and Soshiro can't do a damn thing about it.

Amidst the chaos of people pulling each other from the rubble, medics running to and fro, and other soldiers groaning in pain as they writhe in the dirt waiting to see if death or the medics will claim them first, he can still hear the situation you're facing a couple feet away from him (in fact, it's the only thing he can hear at this point). You're never far away from him, he would never allow it. He doesn't know what it's like to not be by your side. But he can't reach you. He's badly injured himself and though he gave crawling a good, hard attempt, his bruised, bleeding organs won't allow him to get any closer to you though he's already pleaded and begged them to. He'd plead to anyone who'd hear him, who'd save you. The doctors, the gods, the devil himself.

The sound of the defibrillator thumping at your lifeless body is deafening to him. He can hear his own heartbeat vying for attention as it thunders in his ears and he wishes it would shut up and let him join you.

He wipes blood from his eyes, as it's started to drip down his forehead, he's desperate to see you better. Even if the color has drained from your face he still thinks you're the most beautiful thing ever placed on this Earth. His weak eyes widen slightly, as much as they have the energy to, as he sees the doctors starting to pull away from you. He sees the resigned looks on their faces, though muddled by his own tears, and he thinks he might just choke on his own lungs when he finally brings himself to look at the unforgiving, unbudging line of what was your heartbeat flattened against the cold screen of the monitor.

He stops looking at you. You're not there anymore. He's got nothing left to look at, nothing left to look forward to.

He lays down flat again, pressing his back up against the dirt, and peering at the sky while he still can, his eyelids getting heavier with each aching breath. I'll be there soon, love, wait for me.

He thinks about your laugh. How you'd probably say something about how we shouldn't waste the chance to enjoy such a bright blue sky. How we have to seize the day. And then you'd seize his hand and take off running, laughing and laughing, the way you always do. The way you always did.

Why was the sky so damn blue today?? How dare it be a perfect, clear day when nothing about this day was perfect or clear?

You would've loved today. If you weren't... gone.

He'd always make fun of people who used euphemisms. Just be honest, and say they're dead if they're dead. None of this "kicked the bucket" or "gone to a better place" bullshit. They're dead. But he can't bring himself to think that about you. He settles on "gone to a better place." Darling, save me a spot up there, won't you?

He lifts his fingers weakly and waves at the sky and what is presumably heaven.

He's never thought about religion before, but now every torn, exhausted fiber of his being hopes to every god out there that there is a heaven and that you're waiting impatiently at the door for him, tapping your foot and rolling your eyes but still grinning nonetheless. "Welcome home, Soshiro." You'd say with open arms.

"He's crashing."

He wonders if God will let the two of you have that house that you'd always dreamed of. He's sure God could spare a house or two for the love of his life especially when you're such an angel. He's made up his mind that God definitely wouldn't be able to resist a cutie like you if you asked nicely.

"Get him under control now, I'm not losing another one, damnit!!"

He wonders if you're an angel now. You always did believe in angels. You always believed in everything good and pure and wonderful like the saint you were. He smiles at the thought of you with a little glowing halo above your head and a white flowing gown. He'd kill to see you again. He'd die to see you again.

"Vice Captain, don't you quit on us!"

He wants to quit. He will. He'll do it. He doesn't know who said that but it wasn't you so he doesn't much care. He misses you so much. He misses you. What he'd give to hold you again, to smell your hair- you thought he wouldn't noticed that you'd changed your shampoo recently but he did. He never got to tell you he liked the new shampoo. He never got to tell you a lot of things. His trembling fingers move towards his pocket where he knows the ring is sitting snug against his leg but he stops himself. He doesn't want to touch it. He can't take it, it might kill him if he thinks about whatever future you might've had together. It might kill him. He touches it.

Everything goes white. Your face is coming into view now. He can almost see you fully, your hair bouncing in the wind, your sparkling eyes gleaming at him, your full lips waiting to be reunited with his. Just a little longer baby, I'm coming.

"We've got a pulse! He's stabilizing. He's going to make it!"

No.

Fuck.

[justmeinadaze]

Created a Monster (Steddie X Kas Y/N)

Every time I hear this song this idea pops into my head but it's not what I'm used to writing per say. I wanted you guys to read like a preview and tell me if this is something you'd want more of or a one shot. Or whatever lol Just some feed back :) It's been sitting in my WIP forever but I can't stop thinking about it.

Warning: Steddie X Kas Fem Reader, mentions of grief and how much the boys miss her, I twisted some things from the show obviously. Instead of Eddie fighting, Y/N does. I also read up a bit on Kas so took some lore there. Not really expanded on in this preview but...

Word Count: 1956

Eddie and Steve stare at your gravestone as the preacher continues to spout some nonsense about young souls being angels on Earth and being called back home. No one understood what they were going through not even their friends they had fought with. You were their everything and now… you were gone. 

Steve and Robin sat in the cafeteria of the hospital picking at their food as they waited for Eddie to join them. For the past four months they had been visiting Max while continuing to be moral support for Lucas. Neither boy would let on how jealous they actually were of the former Hellfire member. At least he could still hold his girlfriend’s hand…see her face…kiss her cheek.

“The doctor’s said she’s showing improvement.”, Robin mused as she took a bite of bland rice in front of her. 

“That’s good. She’s a good kid who’s been through too much. She deserves to have a full life.”

His friend nods in understanding, scanning Steve over before reaching for his hand. 

“This is a stupid question but how are you doing?”

“I’m, um, I’m surviving. Eddie’s trying to keep it together for the guys but we’re both kind of floundering.”, he chuckles as he places his fork down and leans back. “I miss her laugh. Every time Munson would tell a joke, she would close her eyes and scrunch her nose… so cute.”

“Yeah, she was.”, his friend softly murmured. “She loved you two more than anything. Y/N would talk about you both nonstop to an annoying degree.”

When Robin playfully rolls her eyes, they both laugh almost uncontrollably until his gradually shift into sobs. Rising to her feet, she wraps her arms around his shoulders and in turn he does the same, his fingers digging almost painfully into her back. 

“I miss her so much.”

***

When both boys finally made it back home, Eddie silently flopped down on the couch as he grabbed the remote and turned on the tv. Since your passing, the metalhead had moved into the living room since their apartment only had one bedroom. Without you between them they saw no point in sharing anymore. Steve never said anything to contradict but he wished his friend had stayed. Even though they were never intimate in the dynamic, he would have rather shared a bed with his friend than be alone. It was just more of a reminder that you were gone. 

“Another group of men were found dead today outside of their homes, stabbed through the chest, and with nothing stolen or motive perceived from Hawkins PD. We reached out to reinstated Chief Hopper for comment but at this time none was given.”

“Something we should be worried about you think?”, Steve asked as he came up behind his friend to watch the tv.

“I mean, as long as they aren’t blaming me, I’d say no.”

“It doesn’t seem like Vecna either. No broken bones or eyes caved in—” Rising to his feet, Eddie hastily turned off the tv and reached for his jacket. “Eddie—”

“I agree. No Vecna. I’m, um, I’m going to go for a walk.”

“Is this how it’s always going to be?! Are we just going to be awkward around each other now? She wouldn’t have wanted that, Ed.”

A smooth, sarcastic laugh escaped the metalhead’s lips as he turned to face his friend. 

“Yeah? Well, I wanted her here and she’s fucking dead. We both don’t get what we want.”

“So, you’re just going to sully her memory like that?”

“Oh, fuck you, Harrington! She’s the one that ran off even though I told her not to move. She’s the one that decided to fight instead of listening to you and not being a hero. She’s the one who DIED IN MY FUCKING ARMS!” As his voice cracked, he paused to collect himself. “Y/N’s gone. She doesn’t get a say anymore.”

With that he turned on his heels and slammed the door. 

“He’s always been really hot headed hasn’t he?”, the vision of you giggles as you kick your feet against the counter. 

Steve never told anyone for fear of coming off as insane but this is how he processed you no longer being around; he pretended you weren’t gone.

“Yeah, just like you.”

“Excuse me! I was stubborn but not ‘hot headed’, jerk.”

His head hung at the word “was” as his bottom lip began to tremble. Jumping off the counter, you slide over till you were just inches from his side. Even though you weren’t really there, he swore he could smell you.

“Steve, baby, look at me. He’ll be ok… you both will.”

Shaking his head, he wiped the tears that had begun to fall but when he moved his hands away the image of you disappeared. 

“I love you, honey. I miss you so much.”

############

Eddie pulled his hood over his head as he powerwalked in what he thought was no particular direction. Even after being exonerated people still scowled and hurled insults his way. The ones that hurt him the most were the ones about you. 

Because they couldn’t bring your body back, it was assumed you had died with everyone else. Your family still held on to hope but in the worst way. You parents used to love him and Steve, treating them both like family but after Chrissy’s death everything shifted. They told you to stay away from him and in turn you told them to fuck off. 

Anytime they saw Eddie, they begged him to tell them where you were or where your body was so they could properly grieve. He ignored them as best he could but it killed him because he knew the truth. That’s something he and Nancy could connect on. Every time she told him about her experiences with Barb it comforted him to an extent. He hoped one day he could give them peace like her friend’s parents got. 

Stumbling over his feet, the metalhead finally took note of his surroundings realizing he had walked to Hawkins Cemetery. Sighing heavily, he gave in and let his feet continue to lead him till he was in front of your plot. 

“Y/N Y/L/N. 1986. Loving Friend, Daughter, and Girlfriend.” 

“Fucking basic shit. You were way more than that.”, he grumbled as he took a seat facing your stone. 

“I’m angry with you; so fucking angry. I told you to go up the rope but you insisted I go so I could catch you like Steve had. I should have known better. How could you do that? How could you leave us like that?!”

“I didn’t do it by choice.”, the vision of you replied in a sad but calm tone as you sat on top of your own stone. Eddie’s jaw tightened as he looked in the opposite direction. “Still ignoring me?”

“You’re not real.”

“True…but it helps Steve. At least that’s what you hope after hearing him talk out loud to me the other night. He really hates being alone, you know? He wants to talk to you but—”

“I can’t talk about you with people. Not yet.”

“Ok, then don’t talk about me. Maybe talk about D&D or Steve’s day. Anything else. Eddie, just because I’m gone doesn’t mean you two stop being friends.”

“Don’t preach to me, babe. I don’t want to hear it.”

“What do you want to hear?”

“Nothing. That’s all I ever fucking hear now. I don’t hear your stories about work or your family. I don’t hear you laughing at my jokes or your sarcasm when you’re making fun of Steve for his lack of movie knowledge. I don’t hear your fucking breath in the middle of the night when you’re sleeping or see you bite your lip when you’re thinking about something complicated. I don’t feel your fingers in my hair when I’m lying on the floor listening to music or your lips against mine. Why, Y/N? Because you’re fucking DEAD!”

The vision of you watched with sympathetic eyes as his shoulders shook and he sobbed in his hands. After a few minutes, he wiped his nose on his sleeve, finding you sitting cross legged in front of him with your knees inches from his own. 

“I don’t know how to live without you, sweetheart.”

“Eddie… I never loved anyone on this planet as much as I loved you and Steve. If it meant keeping you both safe…I would die again.”

“It was our job to protect you.”

“And you did such an amazing job.”

Shaking his head, he glanced towards a tree in the distance before turning your way to find you gone. 

“I love you, baby.”

################

Steve’s eyes snap open at the sound of glass breaking before quickly grabbing his bat and slowly stalking to the kitchen. 

“Jesus Christ!”

“I just go by Eddie but…” They both exasperatedly laughed as the other boy lowered his weapon. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you or anything. I just left the cemetery and I didn’t realize it was so fucking late.”

“Did, um, were you going to see her?”

He could have responded sarcastically but your words lingered in his mind. 

“Yeah… I just needed to hash some things out with her.”

“I know how you feel. Sometimes I get really angry at her to but then I get confused because I don’t know what to do with that.”

“Yeah.”, Eddie laughs as well. “Fuck, this sucks.”

As his friend nodded, a shadow on the wall caught the former jocks attention. It looked like a figure but that can’t be right because they were on the fourth floor of their complex. Just as he began to glance to find out what it was, their window shattered causing both men to fall to the ground and cover their heads. 

Steve recovered first, swiftly grabbing his bat and blocking the weapon that begun to swing down towards the metalhead. To his surprise it did stop it but as soon as he pushed the figure back, the bat cut cleanly in half. It took him a few seconds to realize the stranger in front of him was wielding a sword causing him to duck out of the way as the person continued swinging it at him. 

While trying to find something to defend himself with, he heard Eddie call his name and turned just in time to see him slide another sword his way. 

“Isn’t this fake?!”

“Please! We’re nerds! Do you think Y/N and I would buy anything fake!?”

Just as Steve unsheathed the weapon, it clinked loudly against the strangers. Both beings went toe to toe with the pretty boy surprising even himself. He got too cocky, however, lowering his guard just enough for the figure to punch his chest knocking the wind out of him as he fell to the floor. 

The armor the figure was wearing loudly tapped against each other as they stepped forwards and pointed their weapon at Steve’s throat. With wide eyes, he watched as the person took off their helmet and casually tossed it to the ground as their hair fell around their face.

“Y/N?”

The boy whined as you tilted the sharp weapon up towards his chin causing him to stretch his face out of the way. 

“My master sends his regards.”, you hiss as you step back and raise your sword. 

Before you can do anything, something hard collides with your head and you faint to the ground.

“Ok, I’m not dreaming right? Or hallucinating?”, Eddie asked as he reached for Steve’s hand to help him off the ground. 

“No, dude. At least I don’t think so…”

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Star-Crossed (Doctor Who One-Shot)

Eleventh Doctor x GN!Reader (fluff/angst)

Summary: You and the Doctor find out that neither of you are on the same page when it comes to defining your relationship.

EVERYTHING: @winchxters

DW: @nyxiethesimp @quickslvxrr @midnight--raine @blueberry-sunshines @stevekempscocktails @go-bonkers-go-foolish @peytonpenguin37 @yeethaw13 @complimentary-breadbasket @thekirbishow @stilestotherescue @madspads @catlynharper@merrilark @jaziona92 @yeehawbrothers @mochabonesblog @iguirisu @thegen3sisark @wereallbrokenangels @florduarte @pansexual-imp (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Star-crossed lovers. That's what people called the two of you. After you'd both averted some new catastrophe on a random moon or planet and the people you'd befriended on this particular adventure dragged you away to ask what it was like- travelling with the Doctor.

"It must be nice, travelling the stars with such a handsome partner."

"You're both so lucky to have each other."

"Tell us, is he a good kisser?"

On and on it went. Planet after planet, moon after moon. And you wish you knew if he was a good kisser or not. You wish you knew what it was like to cuddle under a ship window and listen to him tell you stories. You wish you knew what it was like to sleep next to each other and have him cuddle you back to sleep (if he slept at all, of course). All of these things and more, but from what you could tell- he just wasn't interested.

"Come on, now," the Doctor broke you from your sulking. You took a deep breath and looked over at him. "What's that face for? It's a new day, new adventure, new hijinks. We've got it made, you and me."

You forced a smile onto your lips, feeling incredibly overwhelmed by a lot of things right now.

"What face, Doctor? There's no face. Promise."

The Doctor clicked his tongue, brows furrowing disapprovingly at your very obvious lie. Abandoning his post by the console, the Doctor came to sit by you, throwing his arm over your shoulders comfortingly.

"All right," he acquiesced as you turned your head to face away from him. You craved this kind of physical affection from him, but it also hurt. A lot. "Pretend for a second that I believe you, what could I do to make your great day even better, hmm?"

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, and suddenly the Doctor's thumb and forefinger were under your chin and turning your head towards him.

"What's wrong, Petal? I can't stand to see you hurt like this."

"I just- look, it's silly, but I get tired of hearing people mistake us for a couple all the time," you explained, eyes downcast. Then, the Doctor's arm was no longer around you and the cool of the TARDIS interior made you shiver.

Forcing yourself to make eye contact with him, you were very surprised and frightened to see hurt on his features. This confused you, and you reached for one of his hands which was currently picking at his nails anxiously.

"You don't want to be a couple anymore then?" He asked, struggling to not look away from you.

"Well, I-" you started and then abruptly stopped. "Anymore? What do you mean 'anymore'?"

Now the Doctor looked just as confused as you did. You could see the gears trying to turn in his brain but struggling.

"I've spent a great deal of my time around humans," the Doctor said, processing. "Do you mean to tell me... I've been considering us a couple going on four or five months and you didn't know?"

You opened your mouth. Closed it again. You were seeing error.exe messages in your mind's eye. What was happening right now?

"But- I- we've never even kissed?" You protested, windows computer noises playing over your brain as you tried to figure out how this miscommunication could have happened.

"I thought you wanted to take things slow," the Doctor answered.

You couldn't help it. You burst into laughter. Raucous, loud, boisterous laughter that filled the room and out into the hallways. The Doctor followed, little giggles that turned into full-bellied laughter in no time.

You couldn't believe the ridiculousness of the situation. How could he have thought that? How could you have thought he wasn't interested? Gods, there was a lot of miscommunication there that needed to be seriously looked at as some sort of Ripley's believe it or not record.

When you were able to stop your giggling long enough to take a breather, the Doctor took your hand.

"Given we didn't do this the right way the first time," he said, looking equally as mystified by the situation. "I feel it's my duty to ask... would you like to go out with me? Complete restart. From the beginning."

"Yes," you grinned, wiping the tears of laughter from your cheek with your shoulder. "I would love to go on a date with you."

"Excellent!" He exclaimed, jumping up and heading to the console. "Now, you go put something on. Something... fit for a nice dinner and a movie, and I'll put the coordinates in. Go on, off you pop."

You hopped up, feeling giddy with excitement. A fresh start, this was just what you needed. Maybe you were star-crossed lovers after all.

[darkbluekies]

The witty and uncanny pt 2

Doctor!yandere OC x reader x mafia!yandere OC

Summary: you knew that they'd be back for you, you just didn't know you'd stumble upon them so quickly.

Warnings: stalking, guns, knives, yandere

word count: 2.3k

Part 1 part 3

You pull the dark hood over your face and sit down by the coffee shop's counter, eyes cautiously wandering around the room. You're not sure who's a friend and who's an enemy. Silas has eyes everywhere and you wouldn't be surprised if he'd ordered more people to look for you. After your escape from the hospital, you've done your best to keep a low profile. You've couch surfed and slept outside. It hasn't been comfortable, but it worked. In the inside pocket of your black hoodie is the gun you stole from Silas and then from doctor Kry. You always keep it close … just in case they decide to show up unannounced.

"Hi, Y/N", your manager smiles. "Ready for your shift?"

"Yes", you answer.

When you've collected enough money, you're getting out of here. You like this place, maybe even more than you'd admit. The atmosphere is slow and soft, no one's in a hurry, everyone's just enjoying the moment. Just like you should.

Dr Kry sighs and puts down the dumbbells. His heart is pounding in his ears. Is it even worth it anymore? Despite working so hard that his muscles are pulsating, he can't feel anything. He had you and then he lost you … and then he had you again … and you got away. Dr Kry doesn't blame you for hurting him. You were scared, hurt and unwell. You acted irrationally. That's why he has to get you back. You're not well and the world will only hurt you. Or worse …

His foot is back to normal by now. A scar is left from where you shot him. He can't get himself to feel mad over it. It's a constant reminder of you, so why should he be angry? 

Dr Kry leaves the gym to go take a shower. He does so in your room, somehow wishing that you'll be lying in the bed once he comes out again. He hates to see the empty bed, but he still comes into the room everyday. He uses the shower as an excuse to walk in, but sometimes he just sits by your bed, watching over nothing.

After showering, he makes himself ready to go out. He puts on a sand colored Jean jacket over a white turtleneck and a pair of blue jeans.

The only reason he leaves the hospital is to look for you. He has been to your parents house, your friends houses, motels and other hospitals. He saw some traces of you on a couch in a friend's house. He knows that you're somewhere around him, and it's just a matter of time before he finds you.

You pour up a hot cup of coffee for a customer and give them a gentle smile. Your head is pounding. It's been months since you last slept in a real bed. Ironically enough it was the hospital bed. Couch surfing might keep you social, but your organs are suffering. One wrong move and your spine will split in two.

"Good morning, could I have a plain, black coffee, please?" a voice asks gently. "No coffee, nothing extra … just a plain, black coffee?"

Your eyes dart to the man in front of your colleague as your heart sinks to your stomach. Without his doctor's clothes, he's almost unrecognizable. He looks just like anyone else. 

You're quick to look away and continue with the last customer's order. Your colleague will take care of the doctor. If you're lucky you won't have to interact with him at all and he won't notice you. You pull the hoodie closer and feel for the gun in your pocket.

Your colleagues glance at Dr Kry, unforgivingly checking him out. You give him a discreet look. He has bags under his eyes. He's always had them, but these ones are darker. Otherwise he looks normal.

"Y/N, can you take this order?" your colleague asks you as she swings her bag over her shoulder. "I have to go to the post office before twelve or my letter won't reach my parents before their anniversary."

You want to yell at her but instead you press your lips together and nod. She disappears, leaving you alone by the counter. Quietly, you start to pour a white cup with steaming hot coffee

"Quite a nice morning, don't you think?" Dr Kry says.

You nod, still keeping your head down. The hood covers most of your features and you hope that he's too tall to notice the hair that sticks out. If you start tucking it back, he'll grow suspicious.

You give him the cup and you shudder as your fingers brush against his. Electricity shoots through your veins — and not the good kind.

"Thank you so much", Dr Kry smiles. "Have a good day."

"You too", you whisper.

He walks away. Quickly, you run to the changing room to catch your breath. Holy fuck, he was right in front of you. You literally touched him. You talked to him. This was too much. Without a second to waste, you throw the apron off your body and sprint out the back door. This was too risky, you can't come back here in case he ever comes back. Your heart is beating in your ears. You run the quickest you can down the street before he can realize.

Doctor Kry walks out to his white car with his coffee in his hands. He sighs heavily and takes a sip. It burns nicely in his throat, it reminds him that he's still alive. He feels like a walking shell. He looks for you every day … but you're nowhere.

Wait. That voice. That … touch. 

Dr Kry quickly turns around and looks at the sweet coffee shop. He hurries back in. The counter is empty. With a quick glance around, he walks behind the corner and into the back room. He looks around, seeing an apron on the floor. Squatting down, he picks it up. The nameplate says a name he first doesn't recognize, but then he smiles. Your middle name. 

"Oh, sweetheart", he sighs with a smile on his face. "It really was you."

Hope is blooming in his chest. Holy fuck, he was right in front of you. You literally touched him. You talked to him. He needs more. He notices that the back door is swung open and runs out tk his car. He'll catch you soon enough. He's not unarmed this time.

He's utterly embarrassed. Fainting on the floor in a hospital like that? Because someone managed to prick a needle into him? That's not something he brings up often and frankly something he wishes to forget. The second he regained consciousness he called for his right hand man to pick him up. There was blood in the elevator when he was getting up to the ground floor and he feared it came from you. Silas had to leave the hospital that day. He still believes that the doctor has kept you away in the hospital room. One day he'll be back for you and he won't let that uncanny doctor win. He has put out his men all over the city to keep their eyes open for you. You can't hide forever, it's just a matter of time. But for the time being, he's keeping himself occupied with work until he comes up with a plan to get you away from that pesky doctor.

"Boss, we found them!" 

Silas looks up. "Where?"

"They were caught on one of the city's surveillance cameras, running down the street. We've seen them before, it's the one with the black hoodie. The hood flew off when they were running."

"I had a feeling that it was them!"

He should have trusted his gut. He could already have had you, but he told himself that it couldn't be you. You were at the hospital, weren't you? Apparently not.

"Let's go get them", Silas says and stands up. "I'll get my coat. Get a blanket, they must be cold and make someone prepare the basement. I've had enough of this running around."

Silas grabs his black coat and storms out to his car. His men follow and one gives the boss a green blanket he can wrap around your body once they get you.

Silas jumps into his car, ready to go. He won't let you get far. 

He speeds through the city to reach you before you disappear.

"Where are they?" he asks his second in command. "Hurry up!"

"I-I don't know, boss!" He almost shouts back. "They're not on any of the cameras anymore."

"What?!"

"The last I can see of them was ten minutes ago. They ran out into the forest!"

"I fucking hate them."

He sighs heavily. He'll have to search for you in the woods? He might as well burn it down when he’s at it. He speeds up, determined to get to you before the forest swallows you whole. 

Not long after starting your forced workout, you can hear a car speed up beside you. Looking to the side, you see the face of a familiar blonde man behind the wheel. You gasp and run into the forest before he has time to park. 

"Y/N!" Dr Kry shouts behind you. "Wait!"

Like hell you will. You speed up, flying over the dirty ground beneath you. Behind you, you can hear the man run quickly as a tiger. You feel for the gun in your pocket, happy that it’s still there. Soon, you feel how the doctor grabs a hold of you and suddenly, the ground disappears from under your feet. For a second, you fall, only to be hit by the harsh ground. 

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Y/N”, Dr Kry says and helps you up on your feet. “But I didn’t know how else to stop you.” 

He brushes off your clothes with his hands before cupping your cheeks that have started bleeding. You’re too tired, too scared to move. Teary eyes glare at him as he caresses your cheeks with his hands. 

“My sweetheart”, he whispers and hugs you tightly. “My poor, little Y/N, I’m so sorry it took me so long to find you again. I’ve been feeling so awful about how our last encounter ended. I don’t blame you, you don’t have to be worried that I’m angry. I’m not, I promise! I know Silas scared you and that you wanted to get as far away from him as possible … and that meant getting away from me too. I understand.”

“No!” you shout and push yourself out of his chest. “You don’t understand a single, fucking thing!”

He hisses and brings you back, suffocating you into his sand colored jacket. 

“Let me go!” you shout and try reaching for the gun. 

Something sharp hits you in your waist and you freeze. 

“Y/N”, Dr Kry whispers in your ear. “Don’t make me hurt you, okay? I really don’t want to.”

“If you care about me so much, why would you hurt me? You sick freak.”

“If you don’t understand what’s best for you, then I have to take drastic measures to take you back where you’re safe. You have to understand that, sweetpea.”

“Drop the knife.”

You freeze at the new voice. It can’t be. Before you have time to register the voice, Dr Kry has pushed you behind him. You can glance at Silas standing a few meters away dressed in his black coat, but you hide behind the doctor to shield yourself. 

“How did you know we were here?” Dr Kry asks coldly. 

“I have my ways”, Silas answers just as chilly. “Now, give me what’s mine and you won’t die here today. I might even let you go. Might.”

“Do you think I’m stupid, Silas? You were no match for me last time.”

“Oh, come on, doc … you shouldn’t annoy me. You had luck before. But we’re no longer in your hospital, you have nothing to use here. I’m at an advantage.”

“At least I have Y/N, am I right?”

Silas grits his teeth. “Not for long. What have you done to their cheek?”

"They fell."

Silas tilts his head to look at you. "Clumsy baby. I guess I have to tie you to the bed once we come home, to make sure that you don't hurt yourself running anymore."

"You mean chaining me to the wall in the fucking basement!" you shout, unable to control your anger any longer.

"Details", Silas scoffs and rolls his eyes. "What's important is that you're coming back with me."

"They're not going home with you!" Dr Kry says sternly. "After what happened to them last time they were in your care, I'll never allow it! They have to come back to the hospital with me. I take good care of them."

"Like Hell they do! They belong to me!"

You decide to take this opportunity to flee. They’re too busy arguing that they don’t notice how you back away from Dr Kry and make a run for it into the woods. Only when you’ve come ten meters away, do they notice the running shadow. 

“Y/N, come back!” Dr Kry gasps before glaring at Silas. “Now look at what you’ve done!”

He’s about to run after you when Silas's voice is heard again. He's gotten an insane idea that he's not sure of himself.

"Hey, doc."

"What?" Dr Kry scoffs, turning his head to the criminal who's standing calmly with his hands in his pockets.

"How about we team up?"

[fortunekookie07]

Alright, I am redeeming myself with this one! All the sappy mushy stuff coming your way!

Confessions in the Rain

Zayne had to admit to himself that he was tired. He couldn't even remember how you had gotten to this point in the first place. It was like the universe had set you to forever misinterpret him. Yet there you stood, face red in anger and eyes watery from un-shed tears.

"Why don't you just admit you hate me already, Zayne? I don't understand how you could even say that to me. I'm doing the best I can." Ahh there it was, a single tear had escaped your control and was rolling down your cheek.

He opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off. "Don't bother, I know when I'm not wanted. You've made that painfully clear. I'll look for another Doctor!" You're almost shouting by the end of your words as you spin around and run from his office.

You run right past the nurse's station, ignoring them all staring at you. They'd never seen you anything but cheerful in the years you'd been coming. One of them even stood up hand reached out, but you're already gone.

The receptionist tries to stop you as well, but you don't hear her warning that it is pouring outside. You don't care. You have stopped paying attention to your surroundings. Eyes too blurry to see clearly anymore. Whether from rain or crying you don't know.

As you're about to step into the parkinglot you miss the edge of the sidewalk and go sprawling to the ground. Scraping your palms in the process. You land with a grunt. Your palms are bleeding now, but still you don't care. You sit up on your knees crying harder.

You're still sitting there crying when splashing footsteps come in your direction, and your name is called. "Come on, get up off the ground. It's pouring out here. You could catch a cold or pneumonia." Zayne has come after you, of course he did. He had a reputation to maintain after all. "No!" You yell back at him, swatting his hands when he tries to help you stand.

"If I'm sooo much trouble, then don't bother anymore. I'm not your responsibility. Just go away!" You swat his hands again. "You silly girl," Zayne says. softly grasping your arms and forcing you to stand. He holds you to him. Not minding your squirming and attempts to push him away. His voice rumbles in your ear as he speaks again. "Why do you always misunderstand me? You've been like that since we were kids." You freeze at his words, tears still sliding down your cheeks and washed away by the rain.

"Wh-what?" Your voice is shaky from crying. "I have never cared that you cause me trouble, trouble me more. Turn my entire life upside down. I don't care, as long as it's you. Let me take care of you, I've always wanted to." He pauses for a breath. Zayne has never said so many heartfelt words to you before.

"I just wish that you would not take what I say the wrong way. I decided to become a cardiac surgeon for you. I wanted to find a cure for your heart condition. You are the drive behind my every action. Don't you know that yet?" You look up into his hazel eyes, burning with the intensity of his emotions.

"I'm always worried about you, you're job is so dangerous, but you disregard my worry and dive headlong into danger every day. I know I can't stop you or hold you back. Just don't push me away again." He's pleading now. Zayne has never, ever done that for anyone. You try to squash the feeling in your heart again. You have always suppressed your feelings, certain he would never return them.

"Why, why would you go so far for me? Is it because we're childhood friends?" Zayne closes his eyes and drops his head a long sigh coming from him.

"You're so silly, why are you so silly. Fine, I'll spell it out for you then." He takes a breath, "because I love you." He looks into your eyes with finality. There is no way you could possibly misunderstand that.

Tears well up to your eyes again. "Y-you do??" Zayne gently grabs bot side of your face. He rubs circles on your cheeks with his thumbs as he stares into your eyes. "I've always loves you, ever since we were children." He says quietly. You grab his tie and stand on your toes pulling him down to your level before you can kiss him.

Zayne is surprised, his eyes going wide before he returns the kiss. After a minute you pull back and smile. "I love you too."

You're both completely drenched by the rain and the receptionist was standing in the entrance with a scolding look and towels. When you finally start back towards the hospital she's fussing about how wet you both are and the water you're tracking across the floor.

She wastes no time throwing towels over both you and Zayne and ushering you into bathrooms to have a warm shower and put on dry clothes. Despite all this, you can't get the silly grin off your face. Your heart is elated, and you feel like you're soaring high above the storm clouds. You hope that you never come back down from this feeling.

[scaranation]

hi hi !! could you write an ANGST with Dottore and Zhongli where we break up with them? maybe in dottore we break up because we can't bear(?) his experiments anymore and in Zhongli one we feel not enough/that he loves someone else (maybe Guizhong?)

Gn reader or Fem!reader(if u write for fem. sorry if u do not,i couldnt find rules and im really really sorry ! :( ... )

p.s will there be To love another 3rd part? it's my fav fanfic ever !!

love your work ♡♡

hihihi i know this is like super late but this prompt is literally so good 😭 also im thinking of writing another part to that fic, but i just dont know where to take it so ive been procrastinating haha

dottore’s part is kinda ooc bcs let’s be real if he’s that whipped for reader he wouldn’t let them break up with him, but im going to pretend that he’s not as much of a red flag as he actually is 🤭🤭

༊*·˚ 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐈𝐓 𝐎𝐅𝐅

Pairing: Dottore x GN!reader, Zhongli x GN!reader (separate)

Content: Angst, no comfort. Mentions of canon typical violence, assumed past Guizhong x Zhongli

DOTTORE

“It seems my beloved has finally thought to visit me.”

You cringed from the overpowering metallic scent as you stepped into your boyfriend’s laboratory, trying hard not to look at the borderline gruesome sights on the clinical beds.

Dottore cleaned the blood off a bone saw he was holding, setting the instrument down carefully before walking towards you - eyes lit up, but holding a gleam different to the maniacal one he usually possessed.

“How was your day, my love?” His voice was humorous. He seemed to be in a good mood, humming lightly while opening the door for you.

“It was fine.” You sighed as you felt the weight of Dottore’s harbinger coat settle across your shoulders, registering the touch of his hand as he pulled you into him and away from the Snezhnayan cold.

“Has that coworker of yours still been bothering you?”

“… Don’t try pretending.”

“Whatever could you be talking about?” The Doctor’s grip on you tightened.

“I wouldn’t wish death on anyone, even if they annoyed me to that extent.” You sighed, finally tilting your head to stare into the planes of your lover’s mask.

“Oh, they’re not dead. Rather, they’ve been subject to some biological modifications of an experimental kind - would you like to see?”

You gritted your teeth.

“I’m hungry, don’t make me lose my appetite.”

“Good thing I have a nice place booked for dinner, my love.”

His compliance was almost uncanny.

-

Normal couples gazed affectionately into each other’s eyes over meat and wine, fingers fondly interlaced over the dining table. And yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to return Dottore’s adoring scarlet gaze, and his hold on your hand felt more like a death trap.

“Is the food to your liking?” He asked. He hadn’t touched any of the vegetables on his plate, only biting into the steak.

“Yes. You should eat greens, too.” You commented.

“Mm. Why don’t you feed me, then?” Dottore only tilted his head, smiling eagerly. Recently, a fear of you being turned into one of the harbinger’s countless experiments had taken hold, and it was this same fear that drove you to play right how he wanted. And so, lifting your fork, you fed him with all the patience you could muster - staring into those deep red eyes, feeling like nothing more than prey. Those eyes would’ve been the last thing many others had seen before their death, the end of their lives marked by that sadistic grin. You almost shuddered at the thought.

Normal couples slept under starry nights reflected in their star crossed hearts as they cuddled close under soft sheets. Normality was such a strange concept, you decided. Despite the fact that you were doing just what normal couples should, the situation was still absurd. However, your fear of becoming another one of the harbinger’s lab rats wasn’t unfounded. You mulled over this fact, almost snorting at the juxtaposition. Here you were - wondering if the man who cradled you in his arms would strap you down to a table in the name of research.

“My love, are you still awake?” You felt Dottore’s breath ghost over your neck, his face pressing into your nape. With a rustle, he readjusted the blanket over your shoulders.

“Yeah, I can’t sleep.”

“Nightmares, perhaps? I have a pill you can use for those.”

“No, just… thinking.” You squirmed in Dottore’s hold. His comment only reignited your spiralling train of thought, pushing you further to the point of resolve.

If he could kill his clones - literal versions of himself - then what would stop him from doing the same to you? Even if you remained alive, would you have to continue to tolerate being exposed to such grotesque horrors?

It was simply better to break things off, before you no longer had the option to.

Breakfast.

The first meal of the day, and the last meal you’d share with your boyfriend.

“Dottore.”

“Yes?” The Doctor’s head jerked up immediately from where he was chewing. You could feel the undivided weight of all his attention sinking into you, and for a moment, you faltered. He was notorious for paying little mind to anyone else, and yet, he treated you with the utmost attentiveness. You steeled your resolve.

“I think… we should break up.”

Silence. Then, the grating scrape of cutlery against crockery.

“Why.”

Not a question, more of a demand. You gulped.

“Do you want me to be honest with you?”

“Yes. Is it something I did?”

“I can’t bear your experiments anymore, Dottore. They’ve gone too far, and I don’t think I can stomach living normally with you as if I don’t know the kind of things you do. Even worse, every day I’m wary that I might be your next test subject - whenever I walk into your lab, I wonder when I’ll be the one under your needles. It’s exhausting.”

Another beat of silence. You could see Dottore’s chest rising and falling at an increasingly fast pace, his jaw tensing.

“I would never, ever do that to you. It’s ridiculous that you’d even think that, and as for your prior reason… I can arrange for you to come to the lab less often…”

“So you’re just going to cover my eyes and act like you’re not doing anything with those experiments? I just can’t be ignorant here, nor can I trust you. If you can get rid of your clones so easily, then what am I? What value do I hold-“

“Those creations do not even compare to you.” Dottore finally snapped, slamming his hand down on the table. You flinched, and he felt as though his lung capacity had been halved. His head spun in tandem with the rapid tightening of his heart, his mouth twisting into a scowl.

It hurt Dottore, realising that you didn’t trust him. That all those fond, intimate memories together were just you acting out of fear - or at least, the most recent ones were. It hurt, beyond anything Dottore thought he could inflict on his patients. And even worse, you were frightened of him. The light shaking of your shoulders and the way you flinched were enough indication.

The Doctor enjoyed seeing his victims become terrified, but that same terror on you almost made him feel like he’d been the one stabbed with a scalpel. Foolishly, he’d fallen victim to his own maniacal research tendencies.

“Listen, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just meant to say… that you can trust me.” Dottore raised his hand towards you to cup your cheek, wincing when you avoided the action.

“I tried to, I really did. But I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

“My love, please.”

The second harbinger was begging. What a strange sight.

“Let me go, Dottore.” You murmured shakily. You saw hesitation, hurt, and anger flit through those vermilion eyes you’d used to love. But that love you held for him had only smouldered into disgust and fear.

“… Then go. Get out of my sight.” Dottore hissed, his teeth clenching at the wary expression on your face.

It was painful, how you walked out without a second glance.

“My love…” Dottore whispered. He stared at the closed door, almost expecting you to return. He repeated the phrase, over and over to himself - his face contorting into an expression he himself couldn’t name. Was there truly an emotion as human as this? It was a twisted, unimaginable feeling the Doctor couldn’t categorise. The syllables came off his quivering lips, as though by uttering them he could make you come back.

But the truth was, your not-so-normal relationship was over. Perhaps, Dottore would return to the normality of his heartless experiments, and you’d return to the normality of a better fate than one you’d endure by his side.

He only regretted not being able to hold you more.

ZHONGLI

There were only two letters between you and your lover, but those two letters seemed to stretch wider every day - ‘I’, and ‘M’. The seemingly infinite synapse between mere ‘mortal’, and ‘immortal’.

Zhongli was undeniably a mortal vessel, but he as a being was not. He’d lived eons before you, loved and hated thousands. He’d experienced things you couldn’t even fathom, and yet, you couldn’t comprehend how he treated you as though your fleeting existence was the centre of his much larger world.

Whenever you looked into Zhongli’s amber eyes, heard his deep laugh, or felt his gentle caress, you could only feel insignificant. After all, he used to be a literal god. You couldn’t help the guilt that gnawed at your conscience, couldn’t stamp out the incessant feeling that he was too good for you, that you couldn’t compare to whatever lovers he’d had in the past.

“How’s the tea, darling?” Zhongli prompted. He sat with his back to the window, basking in an almost ethereal glow.

“Ah, I have yet to try it.” You shook yourself out of your thoughts to raise the cup in front of you. Zhongli only smiled warmly, but the gesture made your hand shake a little. You’d planned to break up with him today, and yet the way he still stared lovingly at you - full of infinite trust - made you feel terrible.

But how many others had he also treated this way? In his life, those others were probably far more special than you, possessing talents far more worthy of a god’s attention.

Suddenly, a shattering sound pierced your ears, and a scalding warmth set into your thigh. You looked down in a daze, before snapping out of it upon realising that you’d dropped the teacup.

“Are you okay?” Zhongli was at your side in an instant, mopping up the spilled tea and collecting the broken fragments of the cup.

“Yeah.” You gritted your teeth again. How dare someone as insignificant as you make Rex Lapis get down on his knees to clean the mess you’d made. It simply made you feel as though you didn’t deserve such a wonderful man at all.

“You’ve been distracted lately. Is there anything I should know about?” Zhongli asked slowly.

“No. Well, yes.” You stammered. You hadn’t planned this out very well, and your heart squeezed tighter.

“Go ahead. You know you can tell me anything, darling.”

A warm hand came to rest against your cheek. You closed your eyes, feeling tears build and slip down your face.

Zhongli wiped at your tears, holding your hands in your lap as he looked up at you worriedly - his thumbs tracing comforting circles on your knuckles. He thought of saying something, before deciding against it. He knew it was better to let you speak first.

“Let’s break up.” You blurted, feeling Zhongli’s fingers come to a complete stop.

“We can work through this, tell me why first. Has something been upsetting you?”

Your tears fell harder. He still showed you so much kindness, never jumping to any conclusions.

“I feel like I don’t deserve you. You’re too good for me, it makes me feel guilty that someone like me can have you.” You sobbed.

“Darling, you know it makes me happy to just spend time with you. That in itself is fair exchange, no?”

“But what makes that so special? You’ve lived for so long, you could’ve done this with anyone else, and you probably have. Who am I in comparison to someone like Guizhong?”

Through your blurred vision, you could still see Zhongli’s form kneeled by your side. He seemed to be choosing his next words carefully.

“You and her are both special, in your own way. Why don’t you calm down a little first? I can pour you some more tea.”

“I’m so selfish, Zhongli. I really don’t think I can stay with you.”

“Do you really want to leave that badly?”

Your heart twisted. You didn’t want to leave. You wanted to stay in his warm embrace, his soft understanding gaze. And yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to.

“… Yes.”

“Very well then. You know I won’t stop you, because I just want what’s best for you.”

The light grip on your hands released, and as you stood up everything seemed to spin.

“Thank you… for everything.” You murmured, stealing one last glance at the man you loved - before leaving.

Zhongli remained where he was for some time. In his life, many things came to an end, but this hurt a little more. When Guizhong had left him, it was due to her passing - the youthful Rex Lapis had found someone to blame, to ventilate his grief. But the most crude fact in this situation was that you were still alive, and had chosen to leave him of your own volition. Zhongli himself had made this happen.

However, an archon’s most prized trait was impartiality. Therefore, Zhongli knew that he had to maintain indifference. He refused to let himself chase after you, or force you into anything. It was only unfair, if an immortal were to impose such a fate onto a mortal.

And so, he could only watch as you faded from his life, like the cyclic ebb of waves on an ocean shore.

[satoruphilia]

Stronger Than The Strongest? Gojo x Reader

tags: somewhat canon au, reader is a sorcerer, geto doesnt go insane, reader's curse is pretty much yuta's, tooth rotting fluff, not proofread, no smut, fair date, gojo is head over heels, featuring the smiths

A/N: I have 4 hours to fuck around before I need to get to work, wish me luck

2.2k words ON THE DOT!

Being a student sorceror was something you never expected. Finding friends along the way, and even a boyfriend? Unheard of. But here you were, you had a main friend group with Gojo Satoru, the strongest, Geto Suguru, your best friend, and Shoko Ieri, the only sense of the group. She had some medical technique you didnt understand, resulting in her dreams to become a doctor. Geto's and Gojo's were the most powerful. Your cursed technique was a little more complicated than theirs, you didn't even know if it was a cursed technique or luck. Before the Jujutsu world, you were on the streets with one friend, Rika. Until one day, you found her dead. The grief of the incident transformed her into a Curse. She was basically attached to you, she came out when you requested. When she came out, her strength was comparable to Sukuna, king of curses. But you also had trouble controlling her.

You, Geto and Gojo were sent on a mission, which instantly soured your mood. Gojo was so self absorbed and inlove with himself. How the hell did Suguru put up with him? He was a spoiled sheltered boy, you knew how the world rolled, just didn't know how he hadn't been bitch slaped yet (an; im sorry gojo) atleast you had geto with you aswell.

"Y/N! After this, let's go get candy, im hungry!" You rolled your eyes, continuing your walk to an abandoned middle school. There were reports of a Grade 1 curse killing off the kids. While they fucked around, you were focused on analyzing the situation. Would Rika be necessary or could you let them deal with it? You were tired anyway.

You and Geto made the decision to let Gojo handle the curse after you found it. Given his strength, he could handle it. As Gojo muttered something about showing off due to his audience, you took one of Geto's cigerettes and lit it. Throughout a battle, the curse unexpectedly doubled, and then those two doubled. Four curses were now aimed at him. His strategy faltered, raising an eyebrow between the two of you.

Gojo Satoru was struggling, huh. Not something you planned to see in this lifetime. He grunted, falling onto his back after another blow. Did that idiot seriously turn off infinity to show off? "Rika," you said coolly. A dark curse appeared behind you, before going after the duplicates.

Geto laughed and threw his arm over Gojo's shoulder, "You're a dumbass." All he did was roll his eyes.

"I had it under control, y/n just wanted to impress me, right?" This had Geto roaring in laughter. You were walking beside the two, drinking a bottle of water, even more tired than when you came.

"Can't believe you already lost your title," He teased, "The strongest isnt the strongest anymore" Gojo rolled his eyes and laughed it off, but observing him closely, something was different. Fear? Hurt? Did he just get humbled? It was fascinating. They ran off to some candy shop, and that was the end of it.

Maybe.

While you forgot about it, Gojo drove himself crazy. He knew what Geto said was a joke, 80% of what he said was a joke. Now he was obsessing over it. Not even the fact that he struggled, but how nonchalant you were about saving his ass. You still had a cigerette in hand the whole time. The way you effortlessly wielded your cursed techniques, the grace in your movements, and the fire in your eyes ignited something within Gojo. As the minutes ticked by, Gojo found himself unable to focus on anything else. His mind drifted to you. You became more than just a lady to him. He started to stare at you in class, always trying to study with you without Geto, taking note of your beauty. That was another thing that drove him crazy. He knew you were conventually attractive, but now you were so much more.

"That was hilarious," he greeted, a playful glint in his eyes. "You correcting Yaga-sensei. The class was wild!"

You chuckled. "He was making himself look stupid, so yeah."

He chuckled in return, rubbing the back of his head. "You still need help with Math? Im an expert." Where did he learn that from? Geto, who he wouldn't shut up to. Of course, he never shut up, but he was always asking Geto about you. You and Geto were closer friends, considering he was a respectable person unlike Gojo. You two occasionally skated and smoked together, and Gojo was not jealous at all. Even after Geto told him you were like his little sister.

As the conversation continued, Gojo found himself hanging onto your every word, genuinely intrigued by your words. He laughed at your jokes, listened intently to your stories, and even found reasons to touch on shared interests. It wasn't long before he realized that his feelings were evolving beyond a mere admiration for you.

In the following days, Gojo's interactions with you became more intentional. He'd join you for lunch, initiate conversations about non-jujutsu related topics, and even offer his assistance in training. When he found out how much you loved music, he made a playlist for when you two hung out. All your favorites were in there, and he sprinkled in a few love songs by your favorite singers. His once carefree demeanor seemed to soften in your presence, and there were moments when his gaze lingered just a bit longer, his eyes betraying a depth of feeling.

Eyes dont lie, something you've learned throughout your youth. So you hyperfixated on it when talking to people. Thats how you saw through people's bullshit, especially guys who just wanted you for your body. Initially, you assumed Gojo was trying to get in your pants. but now its been 3 months since that mission. 3 months since he's changed his attitude around you. And around a month since you started falling for him aswell.

It wasn't until a quiet evening in the school library that you realized your feelings. He found you reading with your headphones in, smiling as he took a seat next to you. "I love the smiths," You flinched, looking up at him and pulling one headphone to the side.

"Sorry?"

"I said I love the smiths," It took a second, then you smiled, realizing it could be heard from outside. You paused your song, taking them off. "You know, listening to music that loud can make you go deaf."

"Then together we'd make the Helen Keller duo, huh?" He snorted. You laughed aswell. The joke wouldn't be funny anywhere else, but with him, everything seemed to be downright hilarious.

"I'm not blind, my vision is so good I can wear a blindfold and still see perfectly," The conversation dissolved into nonsense. Music, studying, whats new, cats, even the upcoming summer break. Eventually he brought up your curse, interrogating it's ability. "So why does she do everything you say?"

"We have a deal. If I give her energy, she will do as I say. It's like Aki Hayakawa's ability, if you've ever seen-"

"Chainsaw Man!!" He exclaimed, making you smile wider. "I literally love that anime, I binged it at a sleepover with Suguru," Once again, the conversation dissolved into useless stuff. Eventually, it was brought back to Suguru. "Are you secretly crushing on my Sugu?" You snorted.

"He's like my brother."

"Ohh, so you're crushing on me!" You felt a heat on your cheeks, but rolled your eyes.

"That'd be pointless, you have other girls waiting on you." His smile nearly faltered.

"You can't blame them, Im the hottest on campus."

"You know, I don't think I see Sugu as a brother anymore," You said with a smirk. He groaned before gagging.

"Im hotter than him, thats why I have a roster," This time, you gagged.

"thats so cringe. How do you explain him dating Kaelyn then?" He rolled his eyes, changing the subject again. It must be like 1 in the morning now, and he offered to walk you to your dorm. Your comment on him having other girls stuck with him. You were smart, had the highest grades in most of your classes and you were an expert on analyzing. Why couldn't you see his feelings for you? And why was he feeling like a middle school boy, why was it so hard to talk to you? Were you seriously stronger than him?

Gojo, normally the master of composed nonchalance, found himself stumbling over his words. "Y/n," You looked at him. He knew he was obvious, considering Suguru and Shoko always asked him if he had asked you out already. Suguru even told him it was obvious to everyone except for him and you, then calling you two idiots. "You should come to the fair with me tomorrow, I'll pick you up." You smiled brightly, reached the door to your dorm.

"Alright, text me the time. Bye Gojo."

"huh, you still wont call me Satoru," He whined.

"Bye, Satoru"

Shit.

If he wasnt head over heels already he was now.

Four knocks hit your door the next evening. You opened the door for him after fixing your hair for the 32nd time. He looked you up and down, a pink tint growing on his cheeks. "Your outfit is beautiful." Even in its simplicity, beauty can be found. You donned a red tube top, black jacket and bootcut jeans. He wore black jeans and a white tee.

At the fair, you two had tons of fun running around. Geto also came, he brought Kaelyn, who kept calling this a double date. They eventually ran off, leaving you and Gojo alone. You challenged him to one of the games, both wanting the cute cat plushie. He of course won, but decided to give you the plushie. You kept it sticking out of your purse slightly, as if it were Elle Woods and her chihuahua. Your cheeks were sore from smiling and talking so much. It grew dark, meaning it was a busy time for the fair. You didn't think much of it, hell, you weren't even analyzing the crowd so see if anyone had bad intentions. You were so focused on Gojo.

Speaking of being focused on Gojo, he gradually become more and more irritated. You stopped him, having to yell over top the people, asking whats wrong. He tried to play it off, then you realized his head was probably so overwhelmed with how many people were there. You took his hand and walked around, finding a spot behind a hot dog machine. He sat down, groaning and rubbing his temples. "Too many people..." You sat next to him, closer than friends should be. You held his hand, waiting for his migraine to calm down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin this," Your eyebrow raised, surprised to hear him apologize sincerly.

"Dont, you didn't ruin anything." After a minute, he looked at you, the proximity sending red to his cheeks.

"Suguru was right," You eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Youre stronger than me," His gazed set on your eyes, then your lips. "Can I kiss you?" You only smiled, leaning closer.

"Yeah," You weren't sure who closed the distance, neither of you were, but your lips were pressed against his. You pulled away, before leaning back in. You'd been waiting for god knows how long. When you pulled away this time, his hand rested on yours again. "I'm not stronger than you, Satoru."

"Theres a million definitions to strength. I can't describe it, but you are stronger than me. As a person." You understood what he meant. You talked about nothing and yet everything, still sitting behind the truck, the noise of people dying down.

"Its about 9:00pm, people are starting to leave. Do you want to ride the ferris wheel?" He smiled, taking your hand and standing up, helping you up after.

"Of course," when you two left, Geto and Kaelyn saw you holding hands and squealed like little kids. They started on who bet what, making Satoru laugh. You were right earlier, there were a lot less people. 'Nobody Gets Me' was playing faintly in the background.

How am I supposed to tell you?

I dont wanna see you with anyone but me

On the ferris wheel, he had one arm wrapped around your shoulder, his other hand holding yours.

Nobody gets me like you

How am I supposed to let you go

You looked into the stars, mesmerized by their beauty. Satoru stared at you, just like you stared into the stars. He could get lost in you. Satoru wasn't a man who had plans for the future. He knew he would have to be a sorceror, and he'd die being one. He was okay with that on the terms that he wouldn't be bored, and he'd have a really fucking cool death. Now that had changed, all he wanted to do was grow old with you. He was okay dying of sickness or age, as long as you were by his side.

Only like myself when Im with you

Nobody gets me, you do

part 2???

[candyskiez]

usually I hate possession plots but god,I love the possessed hunter plot. because it's just so painfully resonant as an abuse victim. especially to anyone who's been abused by bigots.

like. this outside force you once loved, you spent so much of your time trying to please, so much of your time begging for the approval of, isolates you. they cause you to grow paranoid and angry, snapping at people and pushing you away from your support system. makes you seem crazy to your loved ones, making them doubt your mental health and making you question your sense of reality because you can't tell what's real or not anymore (gaslighting, baby!) you're cut off and overwhelmed. you get put in situations where you're forced to do things you don't want to, you're in so much pain, you're being treated like something with no wants or thoughts of their own. you're stripped of your autonomy. you're belittled for what you wanted and told THIS is how you're supposed to be, and you're so miserable. you're pitted against your loved ones. your abuser tries to make all your loved ones hate you so you come back to them, so they don't lose you. and belos being a horrifically realistic portrayal of an IRL abuser makes this so much worse. he craves Caleb's attention and tries to force hunter to fill that void. nevermind HES the one who robbed himself of caleb in his life by killing him. he tries to make hunter his shoulder to cry on, his therapist, his punching bag, his doctor. uses him to look at himself and go "see! look how good I'm doing! my family is back and he finally loves me again!" , he is obsessive and horrible and cruel and so horrifically realistic. he strips hunter of his autonomy, and in the shit that will start sounding familiar to people who grew up in bigoted families:

forced him out of what made him most comfortable. literally grew out his hair against his will, treated how he'd changed his body and wardrobe to make himself more comfortable as something that tainted him.

also just. holy shit the violating him like that. just the fucking undertones. it's fucking horrific.

and that's why him fighting back is so huge. because he has the strength to say, no. fuck you, no. this is my goddamn body. this is my goddamn life. he takes all these things he LOVED. he loved, that belos had taught him he was sinful and a horrible person for not despising (hm, allegories) and says, fuck you, I WANT this. I want this, I love this, you tried to teach me to hate it but I don't. I love it. I love it, and you didn't break me. I want to leave the coven, I want to leave you. you hurt me, and I said sorry. you used me, and I said sorry. I am done being sorry. I am done feeling bad. I want this life you're trying to take from me. I want to go to the boiling isles and I want to have a life there, in that world you hate so much. I want to go to the boiling isles and be sinful and disgusting and everything you hate and I will love it. I will be happy. I will be free and everything you hate. and I miss when I thought I could please you, because it was simple. but I am happier as a heretic and as a sinner, and you can't change me. I tried to change myself for you, I just ended up miserable. you can't make me something I'm not. I tried. and I am done trying. I am hunter. fuck you, my name is hunter. my name is hunter, and you hurt people. it doesn't matter if you were trying to help me. you hurt me. and I am done, and I am leaving, and most of all I will never let you hurt anyone else like you hurt me.

and he fucking got it, man. he fucking got it. he went through HELL and he still came back swinging. the death feels symbolic to me almost? losing a part of you in traumatic events and you have to live without that part. and you got out but you lost pieces of you in the process, and that stays with you.

but he keeps going. he kept fucking going man and THAT is fucking amazing to me. he kept going. ohhh my god. I wish I had this when I was 13. hunter isn't as massive of a hyperfixation for me anymore by a long shot, but goddamn. I love this dude. I LOVED the possession scene so fucking much and it will always resonate with me so, so hard.

[lbxbx]

Cockpit 8 | knj

Pair: Namjoon x reader

Summary: Namjoon goes through a rough time while getting a divorce, meeting you at the club two weeks in a row when attraction becomes unreal.

Rating: +18 mature content, Smut, divorce, fatherhood, mentions of panic attacks and anxiety attacks

taglist: @wecanpretendit | @whoisbts | @yoonjinsrkive | @my-current-mood-is | @joonzseoulmate | @parkinglot-nights | @missbangtangirl | @m00njinnie

a/n: to say i struggled with this part is an understatement, i had the hardest time ever writing it and i can't say i'm convinced with it, but i promise it's a key to many events coming up, ps. i may or may not post next week because i'm renovating my bedroom wish me luck yall i love you and i'm sorry <3 pss. the valentine oneshot of cockpit will be posted on friday ^^

Previous | Next

Namjoon is getting ready for your so called date, nothing too casual, a pair of jeans and a button up t-shirt, he’s showering himself in his cologne that he knows you enjoy the scent of, before collecting his phone, keys  and wallet to head outside his room.

He takes a quick scan around the house, it’s weirdly quiet, Jay usually eats his dinner by this time but he’s not. The lights are slightly dimmed and the only thing that’s lighting up the house is the sun setting outside, the house even smells… scented? He’s not sure, something is suspicious.

Of course he’s not going to ask where she is, as long as Jay is taken care of, he can leave. So he walks towards the shoe closet to grab out his pair of converse only to see his wife standing in the end of the aisle, she’s in a short silk robe that he’s not sure he’s  seen before, her hand is leaned against the door frame and the other one on her hips. “Are you going somewhere?”

As if she’s forbidden for him to see, he quickly turns his face away and cringes on the inside a little, he used to think she was.. okay to look at? But not anymore, since you showed up, it’s only you he sees in his dreams. “Yes.” He solidly answers, of course not telling her where.

He slightly panics when she walks towards him slowly and runs her hand on his back, her touch totally half assed since she cannot and will not stand the man, but she’s trying to save her family from being doomed. “Are you going out with your friends?”

Namjoon’s brain functions for a quick second, and then realizes, she must know about the divorce, and that’s why she’s acting weird all of a sudden, he never saw her wearing anything like this, even her voice tone was never this quiet, she always spoke with a tone full of spite and utter hate.

He takes a  step away from her hand, it felt weird and so out of place.

He puts on his shoes and starts unlocking the door, she walks closer to him and his fingers start working faster on the door. She tip toes and prints a kiss on his cheek that makes him nearly vomit, he pushes her with one hand and shakes his head. “No, it’s over.”

She feigns innocence and pouts, the crosses her arms on her chest. “Of course it’s not over Namjoon, I’ll be waiting for you tonight, please come back home.”

As if there’s no more oxygen in the room, Namjoon feels suffocated and his chest feels heavy, the door is finally unlocked and he leaves the apartment, slamming the door behind him, he rushes to his car and gets inside.

His chest rises dramatically with every breath he’s trying to take, his chest burns and he even feels his heart fluttering, his fingers feel numb and he feels sweaty, it’s been so long since he’s had a panic attack this strong.

He never saw a doctor about it but he knows it’s a panic attack.

He unbuttons the first few buttons of his shirt and leans his head back into his seat, his fingers are shaking when he clicks the air conditioning on.

He tries so hard to regulate his breaths or even sort out his thoughts so he could calm down.

His head immediately rushes to the first thought, that he cannot forget everything she made him or his son go through, he never felt loved and wanted by her, and he cannot deny that she turned his life into a nightmare. She made him give up on so many dreams and she rejected everything he offered her and always let him down, he can never forgive her and he knows that nothing will ever be the same.

He takes a long breath and he squeezes his hand into a fist repeatedly to try and get the blood flowing to his numb fingers before his head rushes to the second thought.

Namjoon has  always been passionate about his life and goals, he was so thrilled to see what his future looked like, but not anymore, he’s nothing like the young Namjoon, she made him age way earlier than he should’ve, and he’s hurt deeply, and he knows that no matter what she does, she can’t repair the damage the already made.

His rapid breaths calm down as he finally puts out the last thought that makes his anxiety wash away in seconds. It’s when he thinks about you, and the world suddenly feels like a better place.

You simply were able to heal his inner wounds, when he’s around you he feels like the young and youthful Namjoon  that he misses so much, he’s suddenly passionate about his life and job, he’s performing better on every aspect of his life ever since he met you. He finally feels like there’s a purpose of his existence, you made him feel desired and wanted.

His fingers move to turn off the air conditioning as he finally feels air in his lungs, his heartbeat calms down and he can feel his fingers again, he turns on his car and steps on the gas pedal, wanting to see you more than ever.

-

You’re  a little surprised when he pulls you into a tight hug when you opened the door for him, his arms wrapping around your torso and pulling you closer against his body and even carrying you up a  little, you hug back softly and rub his back, “Are you okay?”

He prints a few soft kisses on your shoulder before he puts you down and leans his forehead against yours. “I’m a whole lot better now.” A smile creeping on his face as he pecks your cheek.

You can’t help but mirror his smile, you press a soft kiss onto his jaw and inhale his cologne, “Come on in.”

He makes his way inside your place and puts his phone down. “You look absolutely stunning.” His eyes never left your figure as you bend to the mini fridge to grab him a bottle of water.

You took the effort to put on the lightest makeup ever, you wore a dark slim fit dress that you weren’t really sure of, it was an old dress hanging at the back of your closet that you were going to throw away once but then you decided to hoard it, so you finally put it on even when you don’t like the dress that much. “Thank you, do you think the dress is okay?”

He sits onto the couch and leans his arm on the back of it, shrugging one shoulder. “Of course.”

You scrunch your nose and turn your back to him. “I don’t like my ass in it.” Which  makes him smirk and tilt his head, taking a few seconds to think. “If anything, I think it highlights your lovely ass, that’s all.”

You roll your eyes. “Of course  you would say that” You head towards your bedroom to grab your purse and phone, taking one last look at the mirror to check out the dress, you like it a little better now.

-

Your tour took place on the outskirts, a private minibus picked you two up from your place since there’s going to be drinking involved, so no one was allowed to drive there from the guests.

The entire way there Namjoon’s hands were never laid off of you, on your way there his hands stayed put on your inner thigh and your hand was on top of his, small strokes on your skin already drove you crazy and the night is still young, you could feel your body reacting upon his touches, and you’re not even complaining.

When you got to the farm, the tour guide showcased so many things that you never knew before that you found quite interesting, and still Namjoon’s hands were never off of you, if his hand wasn’t on your lower back or locked with yours, he’d be picking up grapes and feeding you them, and who are you to judge? You loved the attention, and he loved giving it to you too.

You got into the wine cellar and they showed you the aged wine from long ago and you finally got into wine tasting, a glass after a glass, you started getting tipsy and your cheeks are now flushing red as the alcohol is starting to affect your body, Namjoon could tolerate his drinks well so he wasn’t even near as tipsy as you were.

“Mm.”  You take a sip of your wine glass and tilt your head, focusing on the taste of the wine. “I kind of like the taste of this one better, here, try.” You offer him to take a sip from your glass with it still being in your hands, you press it against his lips and lift it up a little so he could taste the wine, your eyes fixated on his plump lips on the rim of your  glass, and you’re not sure if it’s the wine or not, but you would kill to feel his mouth on yours.

“Mmm.” He hums as the drink sits on his tongue, he nods. “It’s a little too sweet for my liking.”

“Oh yeah?” You whisper as your eyes are piercing towards his lips, your wild thoughts cramming inside your head as you lightly press your body against his, totally ignoring the fact that you’re surrounded by a bunch of people. He wraps his arms around your hips and smirks. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?” You innocently look up into his eyes, batting your eyelashes while you’re licking your bottom lip. “Stop looking at me like that.” His eyes now fall onto your lips, he secretly wishes they’re wrapped around his dick while you’re choking on him.

The two of you were enjoying your evening, it was a new experience for you and you’re glad you got to have it with Namjoon out of all people. He’s having the time of his life too, he’s been wanting  to go on this tour for a few days but now he kind of wants it to end so he can take you home and be alone with you.

However the group you joined had approximately 14 people mostly couples. One of them never took his eyes off of you two, focusing a little on you and wondering if you’re Namjoon’s sister or not.

He’s related to Namjoon’s wife, and he has no idea that they were going through a divorce.

He’s even taking a few steps closer to try and catch your features, but you look nothing like Namjoon’s sister at all, he wanted to convince himself that you could probably be a coworker but you two are now hugging and clearly flirting with each other, so you can’t be.

He takes his phone out and subtly opens his camera, before he tries to snap a picture, his camera flash exposes him which makes him quickly cover it with his hand and put it down, everyone paid attention so they all look at him as the tour guide reminds everyone, that it’s not allowed to take pictures inside the cellar.

He earned a few looks from you and Namjoon, but you shrugged it off, and Namjoon doesn’t even recognize the man, he’s one of his wife’s second cousins so of course he won’t identify him.

You two were so lucky, because if anything, this could affect Namjoon’s divorce negatively..

“Can we go home?” You scratch the back of his head with your nails, he bites on his bottom lip and closes his eyes a little. “I’m not sure I can wait for us to get there.” He whispers.

The tour guide starts talking again, blabbering things that you honestly don’t care about anymore. Your panties are sticking onto your throbbing wet cunt, and your thighs are killing you from all the rubbing that you thought would calm your heat down.

You turn to face the guide, and Namjoon wraps his arms around your hips from behind, you can feel his erection rubbing against your ass which makes you smirk and side eye him, but that only makes him pull you tighter against his clothed cock.

-

You kick off your sneakers once you get inside your apartment, Namjoon walks behind you and locks the door after him. “Finally.” You rush to unzip your dress, at least now you’re positive that this dress can’t go back to your closet. It’s extremely tight and you were barely able to breathe.

Namjoon is watching  attentively when you unhook your bra and slip it off while you’re still in dress, he’s a little surprised on how you were able to do that. You glance up at him, still standing near the door  with his eyes not blinking and his jaw slightly down. “I’m sorry, but that dress was killing me.” You throw your bra at him as you’re making your way to your bedroom and he follows you, your bra still in his hand as he’s admiring the little piece of fabric.

You fall onto your bed face down and hug onto your blanket, your tour was a little exhausting and the way there was a little far, and you hate going on long trips. “I’m so glad we’re home.”

“Are you tired?” He asks, his voice softer than ever, as he makes his way to lay next to you on the bed, leaning on one elbow as his other hand runs through your hair. “A little, yeah.” Your voice is muffled through the bed sheets.

Of course he can’t force you to do anything, and you’re a little tipsy, so he gets up on his feet and claps his hands once. “Come on, let’s go wash you up and get you ready for bed.”

You cuddle into the blanket and close your eyes. “Just help me with the dress, I already showered this morning.”

And he obediently slides the dress off of your shoulders and pulls it off of you before he helps you get comfortable in bed. “Thank you.” Your voice so sleepy and your eyelids feel heavy, you’re already falling asleep.

“Good night, beautiful.” He kisses the top of your head which you’re totally not aware of, he lays beside you again and you cuddle closer to him, your breath coming out of your nose hovering over his now bare chest.

-

It’s finally the weekend, and the weather outside is on fire, it was practically impossible to sit without air conditioning, and you could easily get dehydrated. It’s also impossible to cover your skin anymore.

It was the last heat wave this summer in Seoul, and it was the perfect time to finally go on  your swimming trip to Namjoon’s family beach house, you had planned to go Friday noon in one car, since the only flaw that this house had was the parking space, and the guys voted for your car, since it was the biggest out of all of them.

BMW SUV, and you love to brag about it in front of your friends, they all have luxurious cars but yours was the biggest and the most convenient for this kind of trips.

You wore a short yellow summer dress and put on a straw hat to shield your face from the sun, of course you wouldn’t be able to open your eyes without a pair of sunglasses, and you matched the whole outfit with a pair of sandals.

“Jimin brought someone with him.” Seokjin puts his phone back in his pocket. “We’re totally not going to fit in one car.”

“We’re not taking two cars.” Yoongi shrugs. “We need the parking space to play soccer later tonight.”

The guys were standing  right in front  of your apartment building, of course having their first debate of the day, that will soon lead into an argument, you’re positive.

“We can just cram on top of each other.” Namjoon suggest, the guys look at him totally intrigued by the idea, why did no one suggest that before?

Seokjin pauses for a  second before using his cap to fan his face. “But it’s for 3 hours. No one is cramming on top of me, I’m already melting.”

“You can’t just say that, that’s unfair.” You frown at seokjin. “We’ll get in the car, whoever we pick up last is going to cram on top of someone. And I personally think since this is my car, I myself cannot cram on top of anyone.”

You earn a glare from Seokjin and Yoongi, the only one who seems to agree is Namjoon, who adjusts the strap of your  dress that slipped on your shoulder. “I think so too, I think I should drive.”

You roll your eyes at him and nudge his chest. “That’s cheating too.” Namjoon pouts and wraps his arm around your shoulder. “Just let me drive, so the rest of you can sleep or drink or whatever.”

“No way in hell, I’m driving.” Seokjin already has your car remote in his hand. “I’m passing on the drinks anyway, so I’ll drive.”

“Let’s just get going.” Mia snaps as she holds the battery operated fan near her face. “If we’re going to argue we might as well cancel the whole thing.”

“Shotgun!” You and Yoongi yell at the same time, only he’s a split second ahead of you. “No!” You whine in frustration. Yoongi grunts in celebration before he walks towards the car.

Seokjin sits in the driver seat, and Yoongi next to him in the passenger seat, leaving you, Namjoon and Mia in the back seat. You’re sitting in the middle and leaning forward on the middle console while shuffling your playlist to start music and turning on the air conditioning on the highest setting.

“Doesn’t shutgun usually get to choose the music?” Yoongi teases you. You scoff and pinch his arm. “How many times do I have to remind you that I own this car.” And he rolls his eyes, totally regretting the moment he voted to take your car for this trip.

-

“Come on let us in.” Jimin whines, you’re already crammed in the back seats when Jungkook joined, Yoongi ended up switching to the back seat so Mia can cram onto his lap, and there’s no way Jimin is going to fit in unless you sit in Namjoon’s lap.

You look over at Namjoon who has his arm around you, he nods immediately and grabs your hand to help you sit on his legs. “Can you at least push your seat forward?” You huff at Seokjin. “I can’t spread my legs if I do.” He whines, but he ends up pushing his seat forward.

Jimin finally gets into the car and Luna, the girl he brought with him sits onto his legs. “We still have to pick up Taehyung and Hobi. They can cram in the rear seats too.” Jungkook starts a song.

“You wanna go to the rear seats?” Namjoon whispers and brushes your hair behind your ear, you realize you’re really close to him when you turn to look at him, your noses nudge against each other. “I wouldn’t mind.” You shrug, his hand slowly creeps onto your inner thigh, rubbing circles on your skin with his warm fingers, moving up underneath your dress. You giggle and nod. “I want the rear seats now.”

“We’ll take the rear seats.” Namjoon speaks clear enough for the rest to hear, his eyes staring into yours. “You’re going to have sex in the back seat aren’t you?” Jungkook turned to look at you, you look back at the youngest and spit back sarcastically. “How did you know? This is my car and—“

“We’re never taking your car again.” Yoongi snaps at you. “I bet you two already had sex here and we’re just sitting on dried cum aren’t we?”

“Yeah how’d you know.” You tease Yoongi. “Hey, stop the car we’re switching to the back seat.”  You nudge Seokjin’s shoulder, he stops the car, you and Namjoon climb into the back seats, way more spacious and a little darker than the seats before since you have your windows tinted.

Seokjin finally steps on the gas pedal and drives to pick up the rest of the guys, music loud enough and everyone singing along, but the two of you in the rear seats are totally unaware of what’s going on around you.

You’re on his lap straddling him, his head in your hands and your  lips are locked into each other, his tongue roaming inside your mouth and even humming into the kiss, nothing too harsh, just a soft make out session that even when your body is already heated up, his lips heat you up even more, his hands sit on your thighs and run up to your ass squeezing it subtly making you giggle and pull back. “Easy there big boy.”

His nose nudges yours as he laughs too. “I honestly wouldn’t mind giving them something to watch.” And you hit his chest lightly with a pout forming on your lips, his eyes quickly shifting there and he visibly clears his throat. “But I would, there are girls watching.”

“So?” He steals a quick kiss and pulls your hips closer to his, you feel every inch of his boner that’s covered in shorts.  “They will wish it was them getting fucked.” You trace your finger on his bottom lip before you lick it once.

“Then you can show them how lucky you are.” He holds eye contact which makes you clench around nothing, your body instantly pumping blood to your cunt and your breath hitches. “Oh fuck you.” You grit on your teeth, shaking your head left and right, your eyes moving down to his lips before you grab his face into one hand and pull him in a kiss, grazing your tongue against his and sucking on it, your other hand moving down his arm, squeezing gently on the muscle.

The car stops which makes you pull back from the kiss, their voices are loud again when Taehyung argues that he gets car sick from the rear seats, but he ends up getting scolded by Yoongi and takes the rear seats right next to Namjoon, and Jade gets up onto his lap.

“How did you let them put you in the rear seat?” Taehyung asks Namjoon as he shakes hands with him. “You’re supposed to help them get to your beach house, don’t you have to be shot gun?”

And Namjoon laughs before shaking his head. “I really don’t mind the rear seats, plus, it’s Y/N’s car and they put her in the rear seats too, so I won’t mind.”

Your eyes don’t get off of Namjoon as he gets into the topic of how his parents bought the house for their anniversary with Taehyung. And your mind just drifts off.

This man would’ve never forced himself to handle your annoying friends if he didn’t feel anything for you, but at the same time, he handled his wife for three years and gave up so much for her even when he didn’t love her.

You adjust your seat on his legs and turn to give him your back, finally facing the road, you lean your chin on the seat in front of you and take a deep breath. “Are we going to get Hobi?”

“Yeah.” Jimin answers you, running his fingers through his hair and adjusting the air conditioning towards him. “Did he tell you he’s bringing a plus one with him?” And you gasp. “He never mentioned that.”

And again, you’re glad you asked Namjoon to join you, well practically he’s taking you and your friends to his parents house.

Hoseok finally joins and the car can no longer fit an extra person, the air conditioning is on the highest setting and it’s barely enough, Seokjin could barely drive the uphill when there’s too many people and luggage crammed in the car.

It’s less than an hour drive outside Seoul when you finally get there and finally unload the car.

And you’re in shock when you see this beach house that looks like  it came out of a movie, surrounded by palm trees and bushes, a large court yard just for sports and even equipped with everything, footballs, basketballs, even volleyball rackets.

You walk further inside and open the door leading inside the actual house, marbled floor and a giant lounge with a karaoke machine and a large TV screen that’s settled in front of a set of recline couches, and when you take a few extra steps inside you see the giant kitchen island and the kitchen is also equipped with everything. And you secretly wonder on the inside, how rich are they?

Namjoon knew his  parents would do all his when he asked them earlier that week if he can borrow the keys and invite his friends over to the beach house, and of course they didn’t mind, and they were more than glad that he’s at least enjoying his time with his friends even when he’s going through a divorce.

Of course he never mentioned you or anything, it’s just him and his friends.

And his parents of course didn’t disappoint, they had everything prepared for Namjoon and his ‘friends’, the fridge is refilled with everything they might need, drinks, food, and snacks. The pool had pool rings and floaties already inflated and ready to be used, with towels and extra slippers right next to it.

“Namjoon, this place is incredible!” Mia shouts from outside, you jump in your place when Namjoon yells. “I call the master bedroom.” And as if he was the missing piece to your group of friends, they all monotonously start the loud arguments and fights on who gets to choose their room and who doesn’t.

He must feel really comfortable around your friends to be able to do that, you laugh on the inside.

-

You’re rubbing sunscreen on Jungkook’s shoulders and back while singing to the loud summer playlist they had blasting in the background, everyone settled in, some are tanning and the others are grabbing drinks, Namjoon earns a few looks from Hoseok’s plus one Hana when he reaches for the back of his tank top to yank it off, his tanned sculpted body giving everyone a pleasant show.

“I would kill to workout with your boyfriend.” Jungkook whispers to you, but Namjoon actually hears him and laughs, you deliver a subtle smack to the younger’s back and curse at him under your breath. “Shut up Kook.”

“Can I have her now please?” Namjoon walks closer and stands behind you, his hands sit on your hips and he kisses your covered shoulder softly. You chose to wear a one piece white bathing suit that highlighted your waistline with a white see through cover up on top.

“You’re good to go.” You close the bottle of sunscreen and return it back to Jungkook before he dives into the pool.

“You look incredible.” Namjoon whispers before he turns you to face him, you scrunch your face and scratch the back of your head. “Please ignore what he just said.”

He shrugs and stifles a grin. “I heard nothing.” And you roll your eyes. “So I’m your boyfriend now?”

You whine and hit chest before you pull back and take off your cover up, “I’m getting into the water, are you joining?” He nods and takes off his sunglasses. “You can go inside, I’ll join you in a second.”

He expects you to get into the pool slowly, but he’s a little shocked when he sees you actually running towards the water and diving in a cannonball near Seokjin to splash him on purpose. You’ve always enjoyed swimming, it was your favorite activity during the summer, so of course you weren’t going to waste the chance and dive in ordinarily.

The water is warm since the sun is directly hitting it, just the perfect temperature for you and you feel your body instantly cooling down, you float back to the top and run your fingers through your hair, “The water is incredible.”

Hoseok and Seokjin ended up getting into the water too and joining you and Jungkook, you were having the time of your life teasing them and spraying them in water, hell you even climbed on Jungkook’s back and started attacking the others with your water gun, your stomach starting to hurt you from all the laughing.

You turn your head towards Namjoon and you’re about to ask him, but he seems to be occupied having a chat with Hana, he’s moving his hands while speaking and it looks like a catchy topic, she’s standing way too close to him and her eyes are piercing all over his exposed upper body. “Joon?” You swim towards the edge of the pool and lean your arms there. “Yeah?” He immediately answers and walks towards you with a towel in his hand for you in case you wanted to get out.

“Aren’t you joining us?” You ask, “Oh yeah, in a second.” He smiles before tugging your hair behind your ear. “I just need to put sun block on.”

You tried to stifle a smirk, but it ends up showing clearly on your face when you tease him. “You can go ask your girlfriend for help.” You cock an eyebrow at him.

His eyes widen a little before he looks back at Hana, her eyes never got off of him, he looks back at you and tilts his head. “Are you jealous?” He teases you back and you roll your eyes before scoffing. “I am not.”

Of course you’re not, you know the man has a wife, and of course if there was any reason for you to be jealous it would be her, even though you two aren’t exclusive.

“I might as well ask her for help.” He tilts his head, and you shrug and look him into the eyes, you wouldn’t like the idea to begin with, so you’re hoping he’s actually joking.

“Mia? Can you please help me with the sun block?” Namjoon turns his head towards Mia, who’s standing right behind Hana with a couple drinks in her hand, and you’re a little relieved.

Namjoon wouldn’t do anything to make you feel uncomfortable or upset, he could’ve teased you and actually called the girl for help just to make you jealous, but he’s smart and mature enough to not to.

“Y/n, your boyfriend is asking me to feel him up.” Mia shouts, because girl code comes first.

And of course your face flushes red, it’s the second time today that Namjoon gets called your boyfriend, he laughs and hands her the bottle of sunscreen. The poor woman has to step onto one of the chairs to actually reach for his shoulders, Namjoon notices when your eyes drift off to Hana when she still has her eyes on him, even he gets a little uncomfortable from her stares.

“Chief, what’s up?” Hoseok sprays you with water and swims towards you, his eyesight follows yours and he notices how Hana is staring. “Hana, could you get me a towel please?” He snaps her out of her thoughts before she nods and grabs a towel to hand over to Hoseok, he’s not that far from you so you hear him asking Hana. “Are you okay?”

And she answers immediately. “Yeah, I’m just enjoying my time.”

“Will you stop staring at the man?” He’s clearly judging her for her looks, she was being too obvious. “We were talking, that’s all.”

Seconds after, Namjoon dives in head first and joins you in, you spend the entire afternoon swimming and playing volleyball, while the others were in the kitchen occupied with preparing for the barbeque.

“I told you we’d win.” Jungkook rubs it in your face after his team won, you roll your eyes and swim towards the corner of the pool a little tired after the game, Namjoon swims towards you and presses his body against yours under the water, lifting up your legs to wrap them around his waist. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You nod and wrap your arms around his shoulder pulling him in for a kiss on the cheek. “You?”

“Yeah, do you wanna go upstairs?” One of his hands hold onto yours and guides it towards his covered boner. “I kinda need help.”

You giggle and squeeze on his length subtly making him flinch, his other hand under your thighs hold tighter to your bare skin. “Fuck, Y/N, you’re not making any better.” He presses his mouth against your ear, his breath quickening. “I can’t walk out of the pool looking like this.”

You look around to spot your towels, before you get out of the pool and wrap a towel around your body, before giving Namjoon his and covering his lower part when he gets out too.

“Where to? We’re about to play another round.” Seokjin asks right you two turn your heads and about to get inside the house. “I need to shower, maybe we’ll take another dip after dinner.” Namjoon answers him and the older just nods, you two get to your room and once the door is locked, he takes off his towel and pins your arms above your head and pushes you against the door, every single part of his body in contact with yours, and his swimming shorts still wet and sticking to his throbbing erection.

He pulls you in for a kiss, his tongue roams inside your mouth as his hips grind against yours, one of your hands manages to slip out of his and move down to palm his cock through the damp shorts, and this time you squeeze a little harder than before.

He pulls back from the kiss  and collects your hair into his hand, he presses his forehead against yours with his jaw down. “Y/N..”

You got down on your knees and wrap your fingers around the elastic band of his swimming shorts before pulling them down to his ankles and he kicks it off, his angry cock craving for attention as it slaps against his lower stomach.

Not hesitating for a second as you grab it into your hand and stroking the head to smear his pre cum, then finally wrap your lips the head, his entire body relaxes and his eyes roll to the back of his head, every time is like the first time for him when it’s with you. You bob your head back and forth while still maintaining eye contact with him, he gasps and tugs onto your hair, bucking his hips towards your mouth while throwing his head back. “Fuck, just like that baby, just like—Ah… shit.” Your eyes collect tears as his cock hits the back of your throat, a loud audible gag escaping your mouth, sloppy sinful sounds from your throat echo through the walls of the entire bedroom, he’s so close but he cannot cum now.

You cough with his cock still in your mouth and you pull back, your saliva mixed with pre cum leaking on your face messily, you stroke his cock and look up into his eyes. “You wanna cum down my throat?”

His grip tightens around your hair and he pulls you up, stealing a quick kiss from your lips before leaning his forehead against yours. “Not before you let me stretch that beautiful little cunt of yours.”

Your stomach dropping at the pure excitement mixes with the knot that can snap in any second if he touches you, it’s been so long that you two had proper sex and you got really impatient.

Namjoon pushes you down on the bed and helps you kick off your bathing suit, you struggle a little because it’s still damp and a little tight on your body, but you two manage. He sits down on the floor near the edge of the bed before wrapping his arms around your thighs and pulling you closer to him. “Would you look at that.” He smirks, blowing a little air on your throbbing bean, then using his index and middle finger to spread open your pussy.

And he prints the softest kiss onto your clit, his eyes locked with yours, before he whispers. “Just tell me what you want baby and I’ll do it.” You use your elbows for support before run your fingers through his hair and pull him closer to your already wet and numb pussy, his hungry mouth devours your cunt, licking your entrance up to your clit, before sucking on it for his dear life and moving his head to add friction.

Your back arches and your hands tug onto your own hair, every single cell in your body is drugged with pleasure and ecstasy, your stomach tightens and your eyelids feel heavy. “Fuck.” You manage to let out breathlessly.

He slowly inserts two fingers, barely moving inside you as your walls hug onto his fingers repeatedly, your jaw drops and your breath hitches, as hard as you tried to keep your legs open, you end up closing your thighs around his head and pulling him even closer against your bare sex. “Namjoon, please, please..”

He grabs onto your thighs and turns you so you’re sitting on his face, and the angle change is a whole new different experience, your eyes finally shut close and your chest heaves up and down dramatically, “Please don’t stop.” You look him in the eye lazily, your hand holding his hair tightly before you grind your hips on his face while he’s still moving his fingers inside your clenching pussy.

“I’m gonna cum.”

You didn’t mean for it to come out this loud, your free hand moves to your mouth to cover it, and that’s his cue to curl his fingers against your spot and slide in another finger, your cumming is finally undone and you resist the urge to scream his name off of the top of your lungs, and he still doesn’t stop.

Still moving his fingers inside you and sucking onto your clit while you’re creaming onto his face. “Holy shit.” You drop on the bed face down and bury your head in the sheets, you feel lightheaded and you realize that you’ve been holding your breath the entire time.

Namjoon is seconds away from busting a nut, his face is glistening with your cum and he wipes it with the back of his hand before smearing it onto the bed sheets, he kisses your inner thighs softly, moving up to the curve of your ass, kissing and grazing there with his teeth lightly, before hovering on top of you and kissing your back. “Are you okay?”

You nod, a lazy smile curves your lips slowly, before you reach your arm behind you and scratch the back of his head with your nails. “Yeah, just give me a minute.”

He kisses your bare shoulder once, twice, thrice, before you turn to face him, you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him on the lips softly, “Do you have a condom?”

“No, you?” He pulls back, you blink twice before tilting your head. “Why would I carry a condom?”

“I don’t know, you had condoms in your place.” He shrugs. “Should we ask one of the guys for a condom?”

“Of course not.” You exclaim, “Look, I’ll just suck you off or something, but we’re not asking no one for a condom.”

“We can go without one.”

You had multiple sexual experiences throughout your life and you were safe with all of them, even when they wore condoms you were still on birth control, and even when you hooked up with Namjoon, you never skipped a pill. Better safe than sorry, kids are not an option for now.

“I don’t know, should we?” You ask unsurely, biting your nails anxiously, he grins and grabs your hand away from your mouth to deliver another soft kiss to your lips. “I think we should.”

You already feel his card cock pressed against your thigh when you kiss him back, your finger nails run through his back before he pulls away from the kiss. “What do you say?”

It takes you a second to think one last time before you answer him. “Alright I guess.”

He moves down your naked tits and licks your nipple once before wrapping his lips around it and sucking it. Your bottom lip sits between your teeth as you’re pushing his dark hair out of his face, his teeth biting softly on your nipple before he moves to your other breast, printing a dark purple mark right near your nipple, and you can feel your lower body heat up when he breathes against your erect nipple. “Mmm.”

He lifts himself up before grabbing the back of your thighs to push them up towards your torso, pressing soft kisses on the back of your thighs and your calves, moving up to the back of your foot slowly, his eyes piercing through yours, filled with fire and lust.

His bare cock is pressed against your bare cunt as he grinds slowly against your folds, your slickness making him glide against your clit with minimum effort, before he positions the head to your entrance and spitting directly onto it before pushing it in slowly.

And holy shit, you hold your breath at the extreme stretch, every single curve of his cock is felt inside you with no barrier and it feels fucking insane, you’re clenching repeatedly against him which makes him struggle to push further inside, he  grits on his own teeth and throws his head back. “Fuck baby, you’re gonna make me cum if you keep doing that.” He even pulls out and you breathe again. “Relax for me baby.”

He leans forward to brush his nose against yours and kiss you on the lips softly, and you kiss back while cupping his cheeks, your arms moving to his shoulder and scratching him softly with your nails. “Should I try again?” He whispers against your lips and you nod, he’s already pressing the head against your entrance, this time using his thumb to rub your clit, trying to make you relax while he’s slowly pushing inside you. Pleasure is too overwhelming and you feel yourself seconds away from cumming.

He’s finally balls deep inside you, he leans his palms on the bed behind you and bends in to kiss you again, his tongue roaming inside your mouth and his teeth biting onto your bottom lip, tugging it back gently before moving down to your ear, licking the outside of it before pressing a kiss behind it.

You’ve grown to love the way he pays attention to your ears and neck, he knows you like it when you’re clenching around him with every kiss he prints onto your skin which makes his lips curve into a satisfied smirk.

He pulls out from you slowly, the head still inside your throbbing cunt before he thrusts back inside you, the tightness around his cock makes him lose his mind, he’s less than inch away to pound you senseless but he can’t.

You gasp when you feel the head digging deep inside you, your eyes drift down to your own stomach and you’re sure if you squint your eyes a little you may see it bulging. He pulls back again and slams a little faster than before, to which you press your hand on his lower stomach, you throw your head back and breathe fast. “Namjoon.” He holds onto your legs to prop himself up, pulling out and pushing back inside you.

You look down to see his cock disappearing slowly back into you and you look him up in the eyes, your jaw falling down slowly when he picks up his speed, fucking your brain and breath out of you, your head falls back and your own hands pull onto your own hair. Your body tenses and your toes curl, your entire spine heats up and you feel yourself about to cum.

“I know baby, I know.” He presses your thighs further into your torso and pulls his angry cock out of you before going down to lick your entrance once and kiss your clit, you hold onto the sheets behind you and remember to breathe again, he doesn’t give you much time to catch enough oxygen as he props himself back up and re enters you with full force,  finally pounding into your pussy senseless, your eyes roll to the back of your head and you breathe out. “I’m cumming.”

He doesn’t stop, drops of sweat mixed with water fall onto his face and body that were already glistening with sweat, his upper body is tensed as he’s gripping onto your legs, his fingers digging into your skin, and his stomach tightened ready to relax any second when he shoots out his load. He starts doubting himself if he can pull out at the right time or not.

As for you, your knuckles turned white long time ago, your body finally snaps and you finally cum all over his cock, clenching repeatedly around his cock making it hard to fuck you through your orgasm as he pulls back fast, his angry cock shooting his load on your clit and lower body as he throws his head back. “Mmm.. Fuck-“ You two pant for a breath, your eyes close and your grip around the sheets finally loosening as you feel your ears buzzing, you feel yourself split seconds away from going unconscious.

He falls on top of you, his lips near your ear but you can’t hear anything as the buzzing doesn’t stop, he caresses your cheeks and kisses it softly. “Y/N?”

You barely get to open your eyes and look at him, letting out a forced lazy laugh, he brushes your hair off of your face and whispers. “Did I hurt you?”

You shake your head and slur when speak trying to form a sentence. “I’m a little sore that’s all.”

A little? You were a mess, your cunt is swollen and red, your thighs have his finger prints all over it, your breasts had several purple spots on them and even his teeth marked onto your own neck.

He gets up onto his feet to grab a few paper towels. “Let me clean you up.” He cleans his own cum off of your body ever so gently, not forgetting to press a bunch of soft kisses onto your stomach and hips.

-

Finally it was time for dinner, Taehyung and Jimin finally set up the table and the food is looking good and ready to be devoured, you haven’t eaten anything the entire day and you’re starting to get grumpy when your stomach growls continuously.

Everyone is seated around the table in the back yard, the sound of the beach waves is like the perfect music to accommodate your dinner, the weather was fantastic, the slightly warm summer breeze blows through your hair ( and thankfully through your dress, you were overheated the entire day.). And since the house is a little far from the city and there are barely any city lights to be seen, you can see the stars in the sky quite clearly.

Namjoon was seated next to Jungkook and you were seated on the end of the table next to Hoseok. “So how’s it going so far?” He leans his back on his chair and whispers, everyone around the table too occupied eating and chatting. You swallow your bite and answer unsurely. “I guess we’re really good friends, that’s all.”

Of course you can’t address him as more than a friend for now.

“What do you mean?” Hoseok’s eyes widen as he swallows, leaning a little closer to whisper again. “Did he friend zone you?” And of course you roll your eyes. “No, and neither did I, but I just feel like something is holding me back you know?”

“You do know he’s getting a divorce right?” He hesitates a little. “I was handed over his case.”

“Yeah, I know, why didn’t you tell me?” You weren’t going to ask, but you just feel the need to know why he hid it in the first place.

“I thought you would feel guilty or something, or maybe you’d think you’re the reason he got the divorce. I just held back to see how you were doing with him. I also didn’t want to tell you this but uhm.. I overheard Jungkook earlier today speaking with him, and to be real chief, I think he actually has something for you. I’m hoping you do not reciprocate anything until he gets his divorce, because things will get too complicated for you two, so please slow down.”

You take a sip of your wine and let his words sink in for a second. “Don’t worry Hobi, as I said, for now we’re just friends hooking up and getting to know each other well. I will take my time to think, and maybe by then he would’ve probably be done with his divorce.”

He nods before taking a sip from his beer, you could feel his eyes back on you as he asks softly. “Are you happy?”

You know you can be totally honest with Hoseok, talking to him is like talking to your own reflection in the mirror, you know he can never make you feel bad about yourself.

So you finally blurt out the thought that you never even discussed to your own self. “Nothing feels different until now, but sometimes I miss the fact that I was alone alone, you know?”

“Do you not enjoy his company?”

You immediately shake your head. “No, it’s the exact opposite actually, I do, really. He’s sweet and caring, and he’s emotionally mature if that makes sense.”

And Hoseok nods. “It does.”

“Not to be mean or selfish, but I think his marriage experience befits me somehow, don’t you think?” You seek for his opinion and he shrugs. “You know what you want better than I do, and it’s not selfish at all, after all this experience made him what he is now, and he’s a good man I have to say.”

You agree. “He is, really. He’s really smart and fun to be around. Wanting to be alone is a me problem I guess.”

Hoseok’s arm wraps around your shoulder to pull you closer and kiss you on the cheek. “You know I always got you, and if he ever does you wrong, trust me, I will fuck up this man’s life and you have my word.”

You hit his chest and smile. “I know, you don’t have to remind me.”

“Can we set the bonfire near the beach after dinner?” Jimin asks Namjoon and the man nods. “Absolutely, you guys do everything you want.” Before he gets back to his interesting topic with Jungkook and Seokjin.

“He’s doing great isn’t he?” You whisper to Hoseok and he nods before laughing. “Comparing to your past partners, yeah, he’s doing good.”

You roll your eyes and look at him. “You can never compare those to him.”

-

“Jungkook, you’re cheating.” Of course it’s you bickering with him, you were drawing something on a paper and they had to guess it, Jungkook even when he’s on your team, he was giving away the answer to the other team.

You hate to say you’re very competitive but you truly are, and you easily got mad at him even when it’s just a game.

“They would’ve never guessed.” He exclaims while laughing, thinking that this is some type of a joke, but you were dead serious. “That’s the point of the game you idiot.”

“Y/n, calm down, he tried to give away the answer but I couldn’t understand.” Seokjin whines. “Jungkook shut up will you?”

“Yeah Jungkook, shut up will you?” You cross your arms, he walks towards you and wraps his arms around your body to carry you up and walks towards the pool, threatening to throw you in. “Yah, I think you forgot who’s the older one here.”

“Jungkook put me down.” You finally crack and laugh when your toes touch the water, holding onto Jungkook tightly so that if he pushed you in, he’d go down with you.

Of course Namjoon is watching carefully, deep inside a little worried over you even when you and your friend are just messing around, he gets up to grab himself a bottle of water before whining. “Jungkook put her down.”

“Beg.” Jungkook looks at you in the eyes and you laugh. “Fuck you, I’m not begging.”

And he without any hesitation throws you into the water, Namjoon who’s standing near Jungkook pushes him into the water while laughing, and everyone laughs at Namjoon’s genuine reaction and they make fun of Jungkook.

You two swim to the surface and you brush your hair off of your face, totally unaware that Jungkook was pushed by Namjoon, you swim towards Jungkook and climb on his back, jokingly drowning his head into the water and fighting him.

It was a very warm night, everyone enjoyed their time, no exceptions.

[luveline]

Hey Jade! Could I request some more kisses before dinner au? Steve and reader both have a bad day (Reader with her pregnancy and steve is just overwhelmed with looking after everone?) and they have a fight in the evening before, during or after dinner. The girls get a little upset and make a plan to get the two talking again and to make up and the night ends with a big cuddle. Thank you, love you and your work, you're actually so beautiful! Xx

HI!! thank you so much angel, I hope this is OK!! ♥ dad!steve x pregnant!reader, 3k.

You said we could do this. 

Steve thinks about that line most of all. Your argument blurred into one big glob of anger, wanting to be right and silly grievances, fatigue. The only thing that stuck out was your upset face as you'd sniffled and murmured, "You said we could do this," like Steve had let you down. 

Steve regrets arguing with you, but what he hates most is having lost his cool in front of the girls. He resents himself for it as much as he does you, and he's finding it difficult to let any of it go. 

It's Avery who's claimed his lap, while Bethie and Dove lean on either side of you, Dove's face against the bump of your stomach like a pillow. Steve strokes hair out of his eldest daughter's face one silky strand at a time. He knows the girls aren't used to fighting, Steve grew up seeing it, and he didn't want his kids to see it because he knows it creates a strange and sometimes suffocating anxiety, so you and he have always argued in private when you could. 

You're very pregnant (exhausted, hormonal, going through huge changes) and Steve is trying to do a lot more to account for that (similarly exhausted, and wondering if perhaps he has sympathy hormones). The baby bump means you can't and shouldn't be doing as much. You've worked your entire pregnancy, through two trimesters of intense morning sickness, and the third and last trimester offered a reprieve from that and nothing else. 

As your uterus moves and your bump drops to make room for the last hurdle of the baby's growth, you can hardly breathe. You're always aching. Steve insists you take it easy and even if he didn't insist it's not exactly a conscious decision either of you van make. Being kind to yourself is being kind to the baby, and you're the best mom in the world —you're slowing down whether anyone likes it or not. 

Worse, your Braxton Hicks have started. They come at irregular times and never last long, but each time prompts the am I going into labour early? panic. It's not fair, Steve wishes he could take it from you, and he doesn't want you to do more than you can, but he needs a little more room to breathe, and some forgiveness. 

Because Steve did assure you that you could do this. You wouldn't have agreed to another baby if you didn't think it yourself, neither of you being that irresponsible. Lots of things come before wanting. Steve wants a big family, he could cry every time he looks at you lately and the unignorable evidence of another family member to love and cherish that is your distended stomach, but he loves the one he has now. Before you even thought about trying for your fourth, you had to know it wouldn't hurt your first three, or each other. 

Steve knows you can do this. He can do it. Today was just a bad day, and he needs your faith in him, or this is never going to work. 

Steve wants to say that to you, now he's had time to think. I'm sorry I let you down, but I need you to forgive me, and I need you to trust me that we can do it. He also wants to say Thanks for being a dick about Beth's doctor's appointment, obviously I forgot to take her on purpose, I just don't like her. He decides he hasn't calmed down enough to talk to you yet. He's mad at you but he fucking loves you, he doesn't want to hurt your feelings anymore than he already has. 

Avery kisses Steve's cheek unexpectedly, snapping him from a reverie of racing thoughts. He meets her gaze to ask what she wants, but she's swift to slide down the lengths of his legs and onto the floor. 

"Bethie," she says, meandering to where her sister sits, hands catching on Bethie's bare knees, "do you want to come and colour in with me?" 

"Why don't you bring your colours down here?" you ask. 

"I don't want to carry the table," Avery says, referring to the green and purple picnic bench she has in her room. She can't carry it, even though it's only small. She's smaller. 

"I can grab it for you, Ave," Steve says. 

"That's okay, daddy, you're tired. Please, Bethie? I need your help staying in the lines." 

Bethie raises her eyebrows. Reluctant, she climbs off of the sofa and Avery takes her hands. Steve can hear them whispering as they reach the stairs, their creaking steps covering words but not sounds. 

Steve usually puts his life into perspective quite easily. He doesn't often get angry, having had the privilege to choose pretty much every aspect that's worth agonising over. He was lucky enough to love you, and to have you love him back. He was lucky enough to have a say when you got pregnant accidentally the first time, and beyond privileged to be able to ask again, and to have you yes, to want to say yes to the second, the third, the fourth. 

He doesn't get angry at you much. When you're mean, of course, when you fall for the same weaknesses he might. A short temper, a mistimed snark. He was really mad at you a few years ago when you burned your arm on a pan he told you multiple times was hot. He was so mad he couldn't speak not that long ago when you assured him you could clean the hot sauce off of his first Hellfire shirt with a lemon and ended up bleaching the black sleeve a mottled brown. But you were cleaning his shirt because you loved him. You burnt yourself trying to help him clean your shared kitchen. All these things he's angry about, they're mistakes, or they're moments of weakness in a long receipt of kindness, and sweetness. Plus, you're the prettiest woman he's ever met, you're prettier every day. That deserves something, he thinks. Reverence, patience, anything you need if it means he gets to keep being with you, gets to keep having these stupid fights. 

And there it is. The anger wears away. Steve remembers how much he loves you (which hadn't been in doubt, the love part, but the volume —when he's mad, he loves you astronomically, and when he isn't, he loves you so much they haven't made a word for it). He wants to say sorry and have you say it back. You'll kiss him and let him hold you, his hand over your tummy, and hopefully you'll admit to understanding where he's coming from. If he's really lucky, you'll let him massage your shoulders, or hold the bump up to take the weight off. 

"Dove!" Bethie shouts from the top of the stairs. "Dove, come and help, please? We need another hand for the drawing!"

Dove perks up by your side. She slides off of the couch with little convincing, your fingers twisting a curl of her hair as she goes. 

"Have to help me," Dove says. Bethie sighs and begins down the stairs to fight the baby gate. 

Steve opens his mouth about the second they're both out of earshot again and you still beat him to it. 

"Baby brain made me act like a bitch. Sorry." 

"I knew it was baby brain and I still took the bait, so…" 

"You think I was baiting you?" you ask. 

"Not on purpose?" Steve rests his cheek across the top of the couch, fake leather cool on his skin. "You had a real reason to be mad at me. I said you didn't have to take her and then I let you down." 

"You didn't let me down," you say.

"And you're not a bitch," he says,

"I feel really embarrassed after we argue. Maybe you make me feel that way," you say, looking down at your hands, "but I don't think so. I wish you wouldn't get so mad with me." 

"I wish I didn't, either." 

"Not that we don't both get angry."

"I know what you meant." The conversation is stilted and jagged and frankly painful to manoeuvre. "Do I really make you feel embarrassed?" he asks. 

"No," you say. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm trying to say. This part never gets any easier." 

"But we'll keep doing it?" 

You put both hands over your bump and give him a long, serious look. "Yeah." 

Steve shuffles closer to you on the couch and tries to land you both on the same page. "What did you mean by that? That I make you feel embarrassed after we fight? I'm not mad, I just don't get it." 

You offer your hand as though you're afraid he'll reject it, pinky finger bumping his where it rests on his thigh. Steve takes it gently. 

"Stevie, sometimes, you get really mad when we fight and I– I don't blame you because I know why you get mad like that, and you've never been cruel to me for the sake of it, you aren't cruel. You've never hurt me just being angry. You've said stuff to me that hurt my feelings–" 

"I've never hurt you for no reason," he says, worried, hoping you'll agree. 

"Of course not. Steve, you've barely hurt me. But I… I think I feel embarrassed after we fight 'cos I can't stand thinking you had that much disdain for me." You squeeze his fingers. "Even for a minute. Which isn't your fault, that's how being angry works. You get so annoyed at someone that you lose it."

"I don't hate you, though," he murmurs. "You really think I have disdain for you? 'Cos I don't, honey. Not for a millisecond. That's not what it'd be about." He can't believe he's loved you this long and this is the first he's hearing about this feeling in particular. "When we were fighting earlier, I wasn't thinking about how awful you are or anything like that." 

"What were you thinking?" you ask hesitantly. 

"That I wish you'd see my side." It comes out in a rush, a sigh, his hand sliding up your wrist. "I just wanted you to see my fucking side for once."

"Are you kidding?" you say. 

He backtracks. "Sorry, not for once. That wasn't fair. It's what I was thinking, though" 

Much less insulted by his thoughts at the time of a blow up argument than the notion that he thought you were refusing to see his side after you literally asked him to tell you his side a second before, you relax. Or, you sag, and your brows pull together in pain, free hand moving to your chest. 

Steve sidles in as close to your side as he can get and covers your hand with his. "You okay?' he asks softly. 

"I'm fine. Tell me your side."

"I'm sorry for upsetting you," he says honestly. "But I need you to cut me some slack. I know you're having a really hard time right now, and I know you know I'm trying to make it work just as much as you are. Is that okay?"

You take his hand from your chest and put it over your baby bump. He could weep with relief. 

"That's okay. I really am sorry, Steve, I know I took it too far." 

"Well, I got angry twice. I wish you'd told me how you felt about it, you know? I would've told you a long time ago that I– I love you even when you're pissing me off. You don't have to feel embarrassed thinking you've lost my respect or something." 

"I know it doesn't make sense," you say. 

"But if that's how you feel," he says. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I just want us to be okay again. 

"We're okay again," you say, staring at him for a few long, slow seconds. "I love you." 

"That's the best one, right? After we fight? I love you, too," he says, hand slipping under your shirt. He'd do it if you weren't pregnant, but now you are he does it for a different reason, feeling along your ballooned tummy for something in particular. "Has she been kicking today?" 

"Only every time you talk," you say, beaming, knowing how special that is. You move his hand to the very top of your bump. "Feels like she's inside my lungs. Would you…" 

Steve grins and leans down. You pull the hair from his eyes, holding him to your chest. "Listen, lovely girl. You gotta give your mom a break, go back to sitting on her bladder for a bit. The only person who should be making her breathless is me." 

"Corny," you say, scratching his hair. 

Steve puts his ear to your stomach. She won't talk back, and he can't hear much, but he tricks himself into thinking your weird stomach gurgling is the baby speaking. 

"No," Avery says, much closer than Steve thought she was, the troupe of them having made their way downstairs while Steve was busy laying on your stomach. "This will work, Beth."

"I don't want them to be angry," Bethie says. 

"They won't be angry with us. Mom doesn't get mad, she gets disappointed, and dad only shouts when I den-danger my safety." 

You snort and Steve tries uselessly to cover your mouth. "It's a make up plan," you whisper. 

"Oh. We have to still be fighting, then," Steve says. He springs up, gives you a very tender if he says so himself kiss to your cheek, and crawls back to his empty seat. 

"Let's go," Dove insists, prancing through the open door. 

You and Steve try to look dreadfully morose. 

"Daddy," Avery says, "Mommy, we made you something to say thanks for being the best dad and mom's ever made."

"You did?" you ask. 

"And to stop worrying," Bethie says, drifting toward Steve on automatic. 

"My loves," you begin. Steve knows what you'll say —We're sorry. 

"Just listen!" Avery insists. "You're the bestest ever, and we have the new baby coming and we'll have to take new photos but we can't because she's still getting bigger, so we drew one." 

"Baby photos always make you happy," Beth says.

It's a family portrait on a jagged edged, five feet long piece of paper from one of their paper rolls. You're all very tall and there have been efforts to make each person individual. Steve stands out as the only one with shorts and no eyelashes. Your baby bump has been drawn like you're carrying Pluto around in your abdomen, and Dove is quite small in comparison. Avery has drawn herself to Steve's left, and Bethie stands to hers. It's the most impressive thing Steve has ever seen. 

"Oh, wow," he says. 

"Woah," you agree. 

"This is me," Dove says, pointing at herself. 

"That's me," Bethie says, almost dropping her corner of the portrait.

"And there's me and dad and mom and baby," Avery says, pointing at each figure, her arm blocking the crayon hair. "We're the biggest family ever." 

"And the best," Bethie says.

"Best," Dove agrees. 

If things hadn't been okay between you and Steve before, they are now. In an instant. The girls have presented you with evidence of his very greatest achievements. 

"How much do you think it would cost to get that framed?" he asks you. 

Your laugh jumps from you as though it had a mind of its own, loving and exhausted, fond. Unsurprised. 

"Couple hundred bucks," you say, hand cupping the bottom of your stomach. 

"We have that, right? To spare?" 

You absolutely don't. Steve says it to make you laugh again, only half joking, and is rewarded by your happy smile. You shuffle down the couch into his arms and he wraps you up without closing his arms, hands extended to the girls where they hesitate. 

"Come on," he says, waving his hand toward your back, "this mom sandwich is missing at least three pieces of bread." 

Avery cheers and sprints into his reach. Beth and Dove aren't far behind. 

—

kisses before dinner au