#I wish I could just learn to let things go

[jaeyunnz]

"Work Break Seduction."

ni-ki + f¡reader — ♡ 18+

WARNINGS — dom!ni-ki, sub¡reader, dirty talk, making out, cussing, rough sex, riki eats out reader, unprotected sex (stay safe dont do it.) pet names.

both characters are of age. (20+) not proofread, sorry if theres any errors. this is quite long but worth the read i promise!

Reader recently went into a new college and grew a school crush on Riki. Though he plays hard to get, your able to break his nonchalant demeanour.

Note : Riki was mostly requested, so enjoy. (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

Your parents recently moved to a different town, which meant transferring to a new college. It wasn’t as bad as you expected, though you didn’t really know anyone there—but that was fine. At least your childhood friend, Jess, was with you.

A few weeks passed, and you found yourself constantly drawn to a boy—Riki. Girls flocked to him, yet he always brushed them off or rejected their advances. No one seemed to know much about him. He was distant, only ever seen around small groups. But that only made him more intriguing. The mystery surrounding him pulled you in, making you want to learn more about him.

The problem? He avoided everyone—including you. The only times you ever spoke were during school projects, and even then, the conversations were brief or short talk.

This morning, once again, you found yourself paired with Riki. It didn’t bother you as much, but you could tell he wasn’t thrilled about the idea. “Alright, your partners have been chosen. Get to work, project’s due in two days,” the teacher announced. You scanned the room for Riki, and then your eyes landed on him. He was leaning back in his chair, his posture casual and almost lazy. You knew you had to make the first move and approach him, or he’d likely ignore you the entire time.

You hated that you always had to be the one to approach him—it made you feel almost desperate. Yet, here you were, getting up and walking toward him. He watched as you pulled out your chair and sat down beside him. “Hi,” you said, glancing at him for a brief moment. He responded with a small nod, his usual way of acknowledging you.

You settle into the seat, trying to ignore the awkwardness that always seemed to hang between you two. The silence stretched for a moment, neither of you making any effort to start the project. You glance at him, but he’s already looking at his phone, clearly disinterested. Then, you let out a soft sigh, wishing he’d at least pretend to care. Finally deciding to break the silence. “So, uh… how do you want to split this up?” you ask, trying to sound casual.

He shrugs without looking up. “You can do whatever,” he mutters. You bite back a small frustration. Damn, you knew he wasn’t one for much conversation, but it always felt like pulling teeth to get him to participate. Yet, there was something about his indifference that kept you intrigued, even if it was maddening. “I guess I’ll start with the research,” you say, hoping for a bit more input. He doesn’t respond, but you take that as your cue to begin.

The next hour passes in relative silence, except for the occasional rustling of papers and the tapping of his phone. You focus on your work, trying not to pay attention to how he barely acknowledges your presence. Though you’re starting to get irritated by how you’re doing all the work while he’s just sitting there—eyes glued to his phone, doing nothing at all, you can’t bring yourself to get truly mad. Not when he looks this… handsome.

Should you try to start another conversation, hoping he might actually respond? You really wanted to get to know him better, maybe even get him to show a little interest in you, too. Fuck it, might as well, you really like him. "Prom is coming soon, you going out with anyone?" Thats the first thing that came to mind, it was a bit personal, but your curious. Maybe you can shoot your shot?

He finally lifts his head up from his phone, placing it on the desk and locks eyecontact with you. "Nah. Not interested in that typa stuff." For the first time, he actually seemed engaged, and it left you a little thrown off balance. "Why not?" You say, he gives you a shrug. "Why are you asking anyway?" He raises an eyebrow, your slightly taken by surprise when he asks, trying to make yourself sound less interested. "I'm just trying to conversate with you, I mean your quiet as fuck."

He lets out a deep, small chuckle that sounds rich, causing you to snap your eyes at him. Shit, he's really talking to you? "Yeah, well you could've asked me anything," he taps the desk with his fingertips, "But that was apparently the first thing that came to mind?" He rests his arm over the head of the chair, scanning your body for a moment which causes a small faint redness appear on your cheeks. "A bit bold of you, I'll give you credit for that."

You slightly roll your eyes, "How was that bold? I simply asked if you had a prom date or not." He finally sits up straight in his seat, running his hand through his short black hair which catches your attention. "Really?" He chuckles a bit, looking around the classroom.

You raise your eyebrow in slight confusion before he meets your gaze again, "C'mon now. You don't think i've noticed you staring at me?" Your eyes widen, he leans in closer and suddenly your heart starts to pound unbelievably fast. "Every single time we have a class together, I see you." his cold fingertips trails up your thigh, "Your into me? Aren't you? I mean thats why you asked me such a question." Your body freezes, shivers running down your spine.

How the fuck did he know?

"Thats not..." unable to finish your sentence with his hand making contact with your thigh. "Not true?" He says, his hands creeping down to pull your chair closer to him, the both of your knees brushing against eachother. His eyes dart down to your lips, a teasing smirk appearing on his face. Before you can say anything, the bell rings, interrupting the intense moment.

"We can uhm... finish this project later?" He leans back against his chair, acting totally careless about what just happened between you two. "Meet me at lunch." Is all he says before leaving the room. You know your face is beet red, but you dont even wanna see how you look right now. So then you start putting away the paper work into your bag, packing your stuff as he leaves the room, not looking back at you once. For a moment you just stand in the now empty class with a blank mind, trying to process everything that happened.

At lunch, you find yourself sitting at a table in the far corner of the cafeteria, just as he asked. Your heart races a little, unsure of what to expect. You glance around, half-expecting him to bail, but then you spot him walking toward you, looking as casual as ever.

"Hey," Riki says, sliding into the seat across from you. His eyes briefly meet yours before he looks down at the table. "Hi," you reply, trying to sound casual even though your nerves are on edge. There’s a moment of silence between you two, the kind that always seemed to stretch on forever. You want to fill it with something, but words feel like they’re just out of reach.

Finally, he speaks again. "So, what’s your deal?" You blink, caught off guard. “What do you mean?” He shrugs, eyes flicking up to meet yours for a split second before looking away again. "Like, why are you always tryna talk to me. You barely know me." His bluntness takes you by surprise, but somehow it doesn’t feel as cold as you thought it would. It’s almost… honest.

You take a deep breath. "I don’t know. You’re just different, you know? It’s hard to ignore." He raises an eyebrow, intrigued. "I'll take that as a compliment I guess."

"I mean yeah, like you’re this whole mystery. I just want to figure you out." For a second, he looks like he’s about to say something, but instead, he leans back in his seat, his gaze lingering on you a little longer. You feel like he’s reading you, and for a moment, you wonder if he’s trying to figure you out too. Then, without warning, he leans forward, closing the space between you. His hand brushes against yours, sending a jolt of electricity through your body.

"Well," he says, voice low, "maybe you’ll find out soon." Before you can process what’s happening, his lips are on yours. It’s sudden, soft at first, but the intensity quickly builds, and everything else fades away. The warmth of his mouth against yours leaves you breathless, and for a moment, everything feels completely different, like this is where you’re supposed to be.

When he pulls away, you’re left dazed, trying to catch your breath. He looks at you, his expression unreadable, but there’s a hint of something—something you can’t quite place. "You okay?" he asks, his voice a little rough. You nod, still in shock, a small smile tugging at your lips. "Yeah. I think I’m more than okay." You bite your lower lip slightly, blushing profusely.

You both sit there for a moment, the air thick with tension and a thousand unspoken words. Your heart is still racing, but now, it's not from nerves. It's from the overwhelming feeling that something has shifted between you two. He doesn't move away, instead, his eyes search yours, almost like he's waiting for something.

Your mind is swirling, but your body seems to take over, leaning in closer, lips barely brushing against his. You can feel the heat radiating off him, his presence pulling you in with a force you can't resist. Without thinking, you kiss him again— this time deeper, more urgent. His hand finds its way to your cheek, his thumb gently grazing the skin as he pulls you in, his other hand sliding to your waist. Your heart hammers in your chest as he kisses you back with a hunger you didn't expect.

It's nothing like the first kiss-this one is raw, a mix of desire and need. You feel his fingers trace the line of your jaw, his touch almost desperate, and it sends a rush of heat through you. Your hands instinctively find his shirt, tugging him closer, as if you can't get enough of him.

His lips move with yours, more demanding now, and you match his intensity, breathless and wanting more. You can't explain it, but everything about him feels right-how he holds you, how his lips mold against yours, like this was always meant to happen. His hand slides down your back, pulling you even closer, and you can feel the heat building between you two. The kiss deepens, and everything else disappears-there's only him, only this moment.

When Riki pulls away, both of you are panting, eyes locked, faces inches apart. "You sure about this?" he asks, his voice husky. You nod, trusting your voice.

You're sure. You want this. You want him.

Without saying another word, he tilts his head toward a washroom near by the cafeteria. Afterall you both can't do anything with people around, so that was the only option. You get up, your heart beating even faster as he follows behind you. He pushes you into one of the stalls, locking it behind you.

He slowly turns around, pushing your back against the wall and his lips are on yours again, and this time, it feels like the beginning of something that neither of you can pull away from. The kiss continues, deepening with each passing second. His hands move, exploring, pulling you closer as if he can't get enough of you either. The way he holds you makes everything else fade into the background-the noise of the cafeteria, the people walking by the washroom, it all feels distant and irrelevant.

You feel his breath against your lips, a slight tremor in his touch as his fingers trace the curve of your back. Your own hands slide into his hair, fingers threading through the strands as you pull him in even closer, wanting more of him. You can taste the faint trace of mint on his breath, and it only makes you crave him more.

Riki slowly pulls away from the kiss, the both of you breathless. Finally his hand slides down your thigh, inching under your skirt. "Can I?" He grunts out as you nod at him almost instantly. "Starting to think you've wanted this for a while now," he chuckles, slipping his hands underneath your skirt and groping your ass, a small moan escaping your lips. "S-shut up will you?" He smirks, his lips trail down, leaving wet kisses down your neck. 

You press your lips tightly together, glaring at him playfully. You can't help but feel a surge of need. It's like you're both fighting the same battle, giving in to something that's been building up for weeks. Suddenly you find your hand guiding his further up your skirt.

Riki doesn't hesitate, immediately shoving your hand aside and tearing your panties apart with his hands. He gets down on his knees and buries his face between your legs, licking and sucking at your dripping folds without warning like a starved man. Your eyes roll back to the back of your head, looking down at him in slight surprise. "Fuck, you're so wet." He growls against your pussy, his fingers digging into your thighs.

He groans as he feels your fingers gripping his hair tighter, your delicious moans spurring him on. He alternates between long, teasing licks and quick flicks against your clit, savoring your sweet taste. His hands squeeze your ass, pulling you harder against his face. "F...fuck ah mmph.." Your back arches against the wall, clawing at it slightly as you try to keep quiet, not wanting anyone to hear.

He hooks his arms around your legs and throws them over his shoulders, opening you up even wider. He laps his tongue greedily around your clit, determined to make you come on his face before he allows himself to enter you. "Mmh." He groans against your pussy, your body shaking slightly from the vibration. "A-ah Riki..." The stall gets filled up with slurping sounds along with your quiet desperate moans.

He slightly pulls back, looking up at you with half closed eyes. Your breathing heavily, sweat dripping down your forehead. "Riki or daddy?" He licks his lower lip slightly, smirking a bit as he sees your widened eyes. "I..I am not calling you that weirdo." He tilts his head back, "Hey hey, it was just a suggestion."

"I'll think... about it." You whisper embarrassed, turning a light shade of red when he lets out a quiet chuckle. "Thats my good girl." Your legs slightly tremble at the name, butterflies forming in your stomach before he spreads your legs wider, feasting on your pussy like it's his last meal. He growls against your cunt when you reach down to grip his hair. Your about to reach your climax and he knows it.

"I-I'm gonna-" you whine out, the sound echoes around the empty washroom. Riki snaps his mouth against your clit, sucking hard. "Come on my face, baby." His tongue laps up your juices, going fast and hard against your sensitive nub. "Give it to me." His words are more than enough for you to reach your high, finding yourself cumming all over his face, your thighs shaking violently while you try your hardest not to scream from the pleasure.

He feels your body convulse with your climax. He spreads your legs wider, pushing them back almost painfully, allowing him deeper access. His tongue goes wild, licking and sucking every last bit of your juice. He growls softly against your pussy before pulling back, licking your release off his lips. You suck in a moan, looking down at him.

Riki's cock is aching against his jeans, begging to be free. "P-please." He hears your soft beg. He unbuckles his belt slowly, eyes darkening. "Do you want my dick?" His voice is deep, seeing you slowly nod your head. He pushes his pants and boxers down in one swift motion, freeing his throbbing cock. He strokes himself slowly, letting you admire his impressive size. A droplet of precum pearls at the tip as he grunts. You stare intently, gulping at his length, "You're..."

He steps forward, turning you around and lifting your ass up, rubbing the head against your sensitive entrance. "Yeah? Think you can take it?" His voice is thick with desire as he pushes the tip just slightly inside you, a loud gasp escaping your mouth. "So far for being quiet." Riki says teasingly as you glare up at him playfully, swallowing hard. "I-I'm trying my hardest," He chuckles while pushing in slightly more, filling you with just the tip. "Am I too big?" He grunts, your hands going up to grip his shoulders tightly.

"I-I can take it.." you whimper out. "You sure?" He feeds you another inch, making you wince slightly. He watches your face closely. "Tsk, you're only halfway there." He pulls back slightly then pushes in another inch, hitting a new spot inside you which causes your mouth to open wide. "You really can take my whole dick? Don't wanna hurt you." His voice drops lower.

You just nod, desperation taking over you. "Good girl." He praises darkly, then grips your hips tightly and slams his hips forward, impaling you completely on his massive length. For a second, your vision gets blurry, the pleasure overwhelming. "Fuck!" He roars as he bottoms out inside you, gripping on your hips tightly. You let out a loud straining moan before hearing someone walk into the washroom.

The both of you freeze, and Riki doesn't move inside you just yet. Your slightly panicking but he doesn't seem to care because he begins to grind his hips slowly, letting you feel every inch of him. Your mouth opens wide, but he quickly covers it with his hand, leaning down and whispers against your ear, "That pussy just swallowed every inch of my cock like such a good girl." His hands grip your thighs roughly, pulling you open wider. You swallow hard, whimpering against his palm. "Shh, don't wanna get caught do you?"

Finally that person seems to leave — and Riki's hand leaves your mouth. His thick shaft drags in and out of your tight, soaked pussy at a brutal pace. Each thrust makes you wince and whimper, your walls stretching to accommodate his size. He pounds into you relentlessly, the sound of his skin slapping against your ass filling the room. "F-fuck ah.. Riki-" You roll your eyes back, your mind becoming blank.

He can feel your gentle scratches against his back as he pounds into you, his hands tightening on your thighs. "Fuck, baby. This what you wanted? My dick destroying your insides?" You nod, opening your mouth to speak but words come out as moans instead. He pulls your hips further up to get deeper inside you. He leans forward, his mouth finding yours in a harsh, bruising kiss as he continues to rut into you.

He groans loudly into the kiss as he feels your pussy clench tightly around his throbbing shaft before breaking the kiss, panting heavily. "Shit, you're squeezing me so fucking tight." He adjusts his angle, deliberately targeting your G-spot with every powerful thrust.

Your trying to grip on the walls, but your fingers slip. "G-gonna cum..." His eyes darken with lust at your words, his thrusts becoming even more forceful. "Cum for me, baby. Milk my dick with that tight cunt." He reaches down and circles his thumb over your clit, applying pressure in time with his thrusts.

And with that, He feels your release bathe his length, making him groan loudly. Your pussy pulses around him tightly, almost painfully. He pumps into you erratically, losing his rhythm. He lowers his head and watches as your fluids coat his shaft, making it glide easily in and out of your body.

He pants heavily, finally unleashing his pent up load deep inside of your wet cunt. Your back arches against him as he does so, the both of you letting out loud moans from the feeling. Then he pulls out slowly, his cock glistening with your juices. "Fuck." He holds your waist and you tremble, putting your whole body weight on him since your struggling to stand.

The bathroom stall feels too small now, the air thick with the weight of what just happened. You’re both still breathing heavily, and there’s a quiet, almost uncomfortable stillness between you.

He leans back against the wall, rubbing a hand over his face as if trying to process everything. You do the same, your mind racing a little. It’s strange how quickly things shifted, how in the span of just a few minutes, everything between you changed. You glance over at him. He’s still looking at you, his eyes soft, his expression unreadable. For a moment, neither of you speaks. You’re both just sitting there in the aftermath, unsure of what to say next.

"So… that happened," you murmur, trying to break the silence. He lets out a small laugh, but it’s low, more to himself than anything. “Yeah. Guess it did.” His voice sounds different now, less guarded, but there’s still that underlying tension. You’re not sure if you’re relieved or nervous. A mix of both. "I didn’t expect it to happen like this, especially here." He looks around the cramped stall, a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "Neither did I. But… it’s not the worst place, I guess."

You roll your eyes, half-smiling. “So… what now?” you ask, the question hanging in the air between you. He pauses, clearly thinking it over. Finally, he looks at you, his gaze steady. "I don’t know. But I don’t want it to be a one-time thing." You can’t help but smile, a warmth spreading through you. "Neither do I."

💘: thank you so much for all your support on my storiesss!! i didnt expect anyone to like them, so thank youu!!!🥹💕💕 ill get to the rest of the requests soon, im currently busy w school so itll take some time, thanks for your patience🫶

[tarotbyjam24]

messages from your future spouse

Likes , reblogs and feedbacks are very much appreciated 💗

Masterlist \pick a cards

Disclaimer: This is general reading . It may or may not resonate . If reading doesn't resonate let it fly and choose another pile or simply there were no messages for you through this reading 😊 Take the reading lightly as nothing's set in stone until you believe so🕊️

Thankyou for stopping by let's dive in ☄️,shall we ? Choose the pile you feel most drawn to 🧸

Pile 1

Anyone who takes the time to be kind is beautiful .

Some people don't change no matter how hard you try.

But we can not simply sit and stare at our wonds forever .

You spread joy because you're joy that's what I admire most about you .

First love teaches us what love isn't .

It's better to feel the hurt of honesty then to live in a false comfort of lie .

The secret of life is to be obsessed with yourself and be kind to everyone around you.

Some days are just heavy .

Everything you lost will be replaced with something better.

Imagine being loved the way you love .

Pile 2

You haven't met the best version of yourself yet don't give up

when you choose yourself everything around you will choose you too

remember you can start again over and over as often as you need

people don't cry because they're weak it's because they've been strong for too long

the little things ? little moments ? they aren't little

perhaps we should learn to love ourselves so loudly , it silences our insecurities

I love seeing you happy

it happened so that you could grow

you will forever be my always

do it for your future self

Pile 3

You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you're and change the ending

expect nothing appreciate everything

you can also comit injustice by doing nothing

be patient. Sometimes you've to go through the worst to get best

how many time can the same thing break your heart ? As long as you love it

find joy in simple things life will always be fulfilling

In the end, I realized the hurt never turned to hate. No matter how much my emotions led me to feel so. I never stopped loving people. I stopped trusting them.

The art of observing and not absorbing

Not liking me is fine, but making up lies to destroy my character is weird.

Keep it private until you know it's permanent

Imagine being loved the way you love .

Pile 4

First love teaches us what love isn't .

Discipline is the strongest form of self love .

She's an old soul with young eyes, a vintage heart, and a beautiful mind

people talk about me behind my back and i just sit here like damn i got myself a fan club

It takes grace to remain kind in cruel situations .

Forgive yourself for the mask you wore when you didn't feel safe enough to be yourself

YOU DON'T NEED EVERYONE TO love you, JUST A FEW GOOD PEOPLE

may every hour in your soul be golden, may it be filled with endless magic .

Vibes to carry through out the week

You're not sensitive. You're not overreacting. If it hurts you, it hurts you. Don't let anyone invalidate your feelings. Ever

I hope you liked the reading . Thank you so much for letting me read for you . Wishing you best ahead . 🎀 Bless you and have a nice day 🫶🏻

Loads of love , jam\gem

Exchanges : open , collabs for paps : open

[avionvadion]

This Trey discourse is getting ridiculous.

Tell me you don’t understand the dream without telling you don’t understand the dream. Tell me you don’t like Trey or understand his character without telling me you don’t like Trey or understand his character. For starters, the reason most of the fandom disliked Trey early on- book one. He didn’t stand up to Riddle’s mother or stop Riddle from being a tyrant.

Argument one: he was a child. A ten year old child whose parents were being screamed at for five hours straight (something of which BOTH Idia and Leona are horrified by, and those two had some strict upbringings themselves) while listening to eight year old Riddle wailing and sobbing for his mother to stop. That shit is traumatizing. Have you ever been screamed at unjustly as a kid? It’s terrifying. It haunts you. That kind of memory latches on and never lets go. Not without help.

Argument two: Trey is 18. He is a big brother. Not a parent. He didn’t raise his little siblings either, as his parents have a seemingly good relationship with each other and their children. He hasn’t seen Riddle in years, and while excited to see Riddle at the entrance ceremony he was quickly rebuffed by the now cold and steely Riddle who grew up under his abusive mother’s rule. He and Cater then worked with Riddle to dethrone their horrible then-dorm leader, and Trey was then sacrificed to the position of vice dorm leader because the entire dorm took a vote. Still, he did his best as vice dorm leader- not wanting to lose his head or watch their dorm mates stumble accidentally onto the execution block.

Trey, at the start, wasn’t particularly close to Riddle because Riddle wouldn’t let him be, and as someone who was traumatized by what happened when he WAS A CHILD likely struggled to speak up against Riddle’s harsher rules, and that most likely muddled together with Trey’s wish for Riddle to be happy. Going against Riddle would lead to conflict, and Riddle is short tempered as is. Trey likely believed that standing up to Riddle would make things worse instead of better.

He learns quickly from Adeuce later in book one how wrong he was, but that’s beside the point. The best Trey could do in the position HE DID NOT WANT was to give advice to his dorm mates and attempt to be Riddle’s voice of reason, acting as the peacemaker and struggling to keep any situation from escalating.

Something of note here, that I find particularly fascinating, is that it’s been stated by several characters that Riddle’s reign, though tyrannical, was nowhere near as bad as the last dorm leader- who was chaos incarnate. That plays a part in why Trey and Cater both were so willing to go along with Riddle’s iron ruling, even though both knew he was going about being dorm leader the wrong way.

There was no controlling or manipulating of Riddle- despite what Leona and Idia, who have ZERO CONNECTION AND INTERACTION with Trey and Cater prior to this dream, believed. There was no stopping Riddle, either. The best they could do was appease him and keep him calm.

Now, onto his dream.

We learn that Trey and his family “laugh” about what happened with Mrs. Rosebitch. This isn’t an, “oh they weren’t affected by what happened” situation, it’s an, “oh they were so badly affected by what happened that they can’t even talk about it properly because it’s so fucked up that they just laugh instead”. That’s called a trauma response. That trauma is so deeply rooted in Trey because he’s never learned to process it, that it’s there in his dream instead of being omitted.

Trey is also dreaming of a world in which Riddle has no stressful responsibilities. They’re at school, but his mother can’t reach him there, and Chen’ya- a childhood friend of Trey’s who was THERE when the Clover family got screamed at by Mrs. Rosebitch- is dorm leader instead. Riddle is not held down by what happened, and is seemingly “freed” from his mother’s cruel hand. Heartslabyul has become a safe space.

One built by Trey and Chen’ya, something they had unknowingly tried to do as children for Riddle (as they were unaware of the abuse, but had been a shining light for sweet baby Riddle who lived in the suffocating darkness) but failed- and paid severely for it.

Now, onto Fandom problem number two: the Round Bois.

I’m seeing people call Trey a “feeder” and are behaving harshly towards him because of it. But that literally couldn’t be farther from what’s happening. For example, let us take a look at his conversation with Vil (I brought my freaking receipts; this boy is my FAV of Heartslabyul) during Vil’s lab coat vignette.

We know Trey likes to bake.

He bakes for the Heartslabyul parties, and often gives Adeuce pastries to bring to Ramshackle to share with Yuu. But we learn in his New Years vignette that he bakes as a form of stress relief, too, to work his thoughts out and/or distract himself. It is a comfort to him. A safe space. And he knows whatever makes he will likely bring a smile to someone’s face. He enjoys baking, and he enjoys seeing people enjoy his sweets.

If someone is stressed, he encourages them to eat sweets- or cake with lots fruits, though that’s specific in this vignette because he just made a strawberry cake and was trying to find someone to give it to because it was one cake too many, lol, and Vil happened to be stressed out from something Rook said.

Trey isn’t being a “feeder” here or in his dream. He saw someone stressed and went, “Hey, I have a solution, why not try it? One slice won’t hurt and it’ll make you feel better/put you in a better mood.”

Baking is Trey’s solution, and a reliable source of comfort. He likes seeing how happy people are from the things he bakes, and he knows eating sweets can make other people happy. That’s why he goes out of his way to find someone to give the extra cake he accidentally made to- because it’ll put that person in a good mood and the cake will have a “good home” to go to.

Trey’s dream was basically giving Riddle and their other dorm mates a life where they could be happy and enjoy themselves without fear. A safe space. He could bake to his heart’s content in this massive kitchen his dream Heartslabyul provided, and everyone around him are happy and overall stress-free.

The reason they’re all ROUND BOIS???

It’s not because Trey was a “feeder” and fed them to that point, it’s because the dream-versions of his friends lacked self control and there was no one to stop them from eating sweet after sweet after sweet. They just happily ate whatever it was Trey baked, because he baked a lot- not to “feed” them, but because baking is something he greatly enjoys doing.

[naniwatig3r]

CONTOUR LINES (18+)

Mingyu x artstudent!Femreader

Summary: You’ve finally broken up with your boyfriend Mingyu. Ignoring him has been hard, but you were finally at peace. But he had other plans, as he shows up to the figure drawing class you T.A…. And as the model.

Warnings: Unexplained breakup (im lazy lol), angst, cute fluff sometimes, art school stress, public nudity, public unprotected penetrative sex (no one is around though!), quickie

a/n: this was a idea i got while messing around with my friend who has a thing for mingyu, lol.

Word count: uhhh, around 7k ? I can’t remember 😅

————————

Another miss call.

Great, you thought, the tenth missed call from your ex boyfriend Mingyu this week.

It’s been about a month since you broke up with your ex, Kim Mingyu. It was an odd pairing in the first place. You met him coincidentally in the quad the beginning of the year, as you sat at the edge of the school fountain. Your sketchbook open, as you drew the scenery and people around you. A normal activity you did as an arts student.

You were clearly in the zone, drawing the fold in a random college student’s arm, before a voice interrupted your thoughts.

“Whoa, you can draw.”

Your eyes snap up, seeing a towering figure, completely blocking your view. No shit, you thought.

“Yeah, I guess.” You say plainly, hoping your short answer would deter this guy. But then the sunlight is back on the page you’re drawing, and you feel his warm presence sit right next to you. Maybe he’s just sitting down to sit down, so you try and finish your life drawing of the current student, but they were gone. Probably going to their next class.

Huffing, you still for a moment to put your pencil down.

“I wish I could draw like that,” You hear, as you glance to your side. Furrowing your eyebrows in irritation as the man leans over to stare directly into your sketchbook. “You’re a really good drawer.” He says in awe.

“Yeah, uh, thanks.” You say curtly, as he continues to stare at your sketches like he’s at a museum. These sketches were nothing compared to a Degas or something, yet he stared at them like it was, his brown eyes flickering around in interest.

He clears his throat, as he looks up to meet your eyes. He smiles, a toothy one where you notice how sharp his canines were. Cute.

He pulls his sleeve up from his wrist to his elbow, holding his large hand out, “Mingyu. Kim Mingyu.” He says, introducing himself. You nod, reluctantly shaking his hand, his grip tight and strong.

“Y/n.” You say back shortly, eyeing him, wondering how long this tall man was going to bother you.

He lets go of your hand, as he adjusts his position to turn more towards you. One leg over the other, leaning forward. His bangs falling so perfectly across his eyebrow, that it made you narrow your eyes. It’s crazy, people like this seriously exist huh?

“Do you do art or something?” No shit.

You nod, “Yeah, I’m a fine arts major.” You respond, giving him a strained polite smile. It felt like you had to, the way this guy has been beaming at you like a puppy as you give the driest replies.

He grins, “Whoa, no way. Thats cool,” He praises, “I’m—“

The rest of the meet cute didn’t matter.

After this, you kept bumping into him, coincidence you thought at first, but thinking back… he had no reason to be near the art school area of the campus.

He always asked to see your sketchbook, or whatever was in your portfolio folder as you tried to get to your studio. Even helping you carry your supplies and folders inside, and once he learned where you worked he came with iced coffee when he could.

At 3 am, he’d lay on the floor of your messy studio, watching you as you mix another color on your palette. Your sweatshirt pushed to your elbows, paint on your hands and face as you work on the gigantic canvas for your final.

“You don’t have to be here, you know,” You say a bit softly, your eyes tired despite your multiple energy drinks. “It must be boring to watch me throw paint for the last few hours.”

He shakes his head, sitting up as he looks at you with his puppy like eyes. “No, I like it. You’re so focused…” He trails, “I didn’t think art would be this hard.”

You glare at him for that remark, making him immediately tread back. His mouth gaping open and closing like a fish, “Ah! Not like that it’s easy — just that you’re so passionate you know?” He explains, throwing his hands around.

Rolling your eyes, you put your brush back into the muddy cup of water. “Why? Engineering not doing it for you?” You ask lazily, as you pull your claw clip out of your hair. Massaging your scalp from the tension.

Mingyu’s eyes focused on you, his cheeks slightly flushing. Eyes roving over how strands of your hair effortlessly frame your face. He clears his throat, “Uh, no. I like it. I’ve always been good at studying, and I get the material so,” He says, as he scratches his head.

“But I guess, it’s different watching you. Your eyes are different when you’re drawing, painting, sculpting. Whatever.” He says quietly.

“Different?” You muse, standing up to stretch your legs. Mingyu following instinctively, his tall frame dwarfing you.

He nods, “Mhm, yeah. I thought art was just a major for people who didn’t want to do anything, but getting to know you…” he says, as he follows you to your studio table. As you open the most recent energy drink you got from the vending machine. “You just don’t stop. Like you’re meant to do it.” He breathes.

His genuine words make you raise an eyebrow, turning to him. You give him a small smile, making his heart rate jump. “Yeah? It’s like you, I think.” You say, taking a sip of that battery acid of a drink. “I’ve just been doing this since forever. Natural to keep going.” You say nonchalantly, but Mingyu looks at you like you’re a living genius.

“Thats whats so cool,” He gushes, “You’re just made to do this.” He says, as he glances at your current work in progress. A large canvas with pleasing colors, his eye being drawn to the right areas. The beautifully rendered figure, framed with all the right strokes.

He looks back at you, with such an adoration you think it’s hallucinations from doing so many allnighters.

“Ah,” he starts, as he moves his long legs to shuffle through his bag, pulling out some tupperware. “I forgot, I was making uh, some dinner earlier and I had leftovers.” He lies, knowing full well he made it for you. He turns around, opening the tupperware to reveal a lunch box of different side dishes and protein. It could rival any meal inspo on pinterest, as he even carefully cut out seaweed to make cute faces.

You snicker, making Mingyu’s cheeks pink. “Leftovers huh?” You say, as you grab the lunchbox from him. Your fingers brushing over his, a welcome warmth from the cold air conditioning of the studio. “Thanks, I appreciate it. I was just gonna make some ramen.”

“Yeah no problem,” He strains, smiling. “You need energy to keep on going right? At least eat well if you’re gonna sacrifice your sleep.”

You take a bite, and even though it was cold, you nod in approval at the taste. The annoyingly large man could cook. Your reaction makes Mingyu grin, as you can see shamelessly how much that did to his ego.

“Still, you should go you know?” You say, as you remember Mingyu talking about his week a few days ago as you painted. “Don’t you have an exam tomorrow?”

Oh? He doesn’t focus on the fact that you’re asking him to go. Only that you remembered his schedule. He grins, “You remembered huh?”

You roll your eyes, “Of course I did. You told me.” You say, your own cheeks reddening from how embarrassed you felt from Mingyu’s reaction. Why was he so excited?

He shakes his head, “It’s fine, I was reviewing earlier. It’s in the afternoon anyways.”

You finish the lunchbox, washing it down with your energy drink before going to pick up a new large paint brush. “Fine by me then,” you sigh, not bothering to argue with him. It was weird the first time he accompanied you on an allnighter, but Mingyu’s presence became a normal occurrence since then.

And there he was, sitting obediently like a dog next to you as you continued painting. Your playlist ending hours ago, as the only sounds are the strokes of your brush, and the breathing of both of you.

It was like this for a while, until near the end of the year. This time, you were running out of steam.

Maybe it was all the all nighters the whole year, or the fact you got sick right before finals, but you were stuck in your studio once more. Slaving away as you work on your third painting of the night, trying to get your exhibition finished before sunlight.

You hear the sound of the door opening. He had his own key now — you copied one at one point since he always was knocking. Mingyu coming in with late night take out in one hand, clad in grey sweatpants and a hoodie, ready to tackle the night with you.

You don’t even bother looking behind you, his familiar presence and cologne already telling you who it is. “Hey,” He says softly, putting the food down as he notices your tired state. It was like you were running on fumes, the amount of empty redbulls and monsters around your studio telling him all he needed to know.

You grunt, “Yeah, hey.” You say tiredly, as you wipe your face with the back of your hand. Paint smearing on your cheek. Mingyu comes over with a napkin from the takeout container, huffing as he wipes your cheek with it.

“Whens the last time you took a break?” He asks, a bit worried. Despite hanging out with you for so long, he wouldn’t say he knew anything about art. But he knew you. And the way your wrist movements against the canvas were sluggish, and the way your eyebrows furrowed as the strokes didn’t land and look the way you wanted… he knew you were at your limit.

“Doesn’t matter, I have another painting after this.” You say roughly, “Fuck, I’m such an idiot. I should have painted when I was sick. At least worked on the concepts and colors so I didn’t have to figure it out right now.” You rant, sucking your bottom lip into your teeth.

Mingyu frowns, “No, y/n. What about a fifteen minute break? I got burgers, it’ll help.” He says, but your face isn’t budging, like the strict deadlines for the paintings.

You curse, “God, Mingyu, I can’t stop. All the fucking pieces look like shit, if I stall any longer I’ll never finish this ass of an exhibition.” You say shakily, as you haphazardly throw your brush into the water cup, the muddy water splashing out. You grab another brush to pick up a new color.

He looks around the 10 other pieces littered around the room drying, he doesn’t get it, and he never would. They all looked great, cohesive despite your protests. “Y/n, they look great. You gotta take a break you know? Maybe it’ll help. Maybe your eyes will like, reset or something. You’ve been looking at this painting for hours.” He says, trying to reason.

You don’t listen, as you flick your wrist harshly to create a quick line of color.

clack!

You wince, dropping your brush to clatter on the floor. Your wrist acting up at the worst time, as you curse under your breath. Mingyu’s hands go up instinctively to hold your wrist, holding it still.

“God, now my wrist is flaring up too. Great, just what I need!” You curse bitterly, your head down.

Mingyu holds your wrist gently, despite your angry state you don’t push him away as he gingerly inspects your wrist. “Hey, come on. Lets take a break, and then we can wrap your hand alright?” He says softly, trying to coax you.

He leans down to see your hidden face, and it breaks his heart. Hot tears welling in your eyes from stress, frustration, and the impending deadline.

He doesn’t think twice, leaning down to hold you into an embrace, pulling you off your stool into his arms. Tight, the tips of your shoes barely grazing the floor. You can’t help but cry into his shoulder, “God, why am I so bad? I can’t show anyone any of this,” You sob, as Mingyu rubs your back. His grip tightening around you, holding you close as you basically collapse into his arms.

“Hey, y/n, you’ve just been working too long. Lets take a break alright? It’ll look better once you rest your eyes a bit, I promise.” He coos, “I’ve got some burgers and sweet potato fries, even convinced them to give me extra —“

“Mingyu, why are you always here?” You ask bluntly, choking back your tears. Through the whole year you’ve been tolerating him getting closer. First, random conversations when you bumped into each other on campus, then visiting the art school, coming to your studio, staying to keep you company. You never once tried to push him away, but you didn’t understand how he hasn’t been turned off yet. Your all nighters, your insecurities, the way you reject his invitations to campus parties and events to work. It was all a mystery, especially as you crash out in his arms, over some acrylic and oil on canvas. This must look pathetic to him.

His eyes are a bit panicked at the question, “I uh, do you not want me to be?” He asks reluctantly, still holding you close.

You sniff, your hand against his chest, gripping the fabric of his hoodie into your fist.

“No, I just... Thank you.” You say quietly into his chest, and Mingyu felt his head spin. You could definitely hear it, he thought, the way his heart was pounding out his chest. How you relied on him, telling him to stay. If it wasn’t for the fact you were leaning on him to stay up, he’d probably melt into a puddle on the floor.

Mingyu takes you to the table, helping you sit down on one of the comfier chairs. A foldable one with a pillow he brought at one point, so he could watch you comfortably. He boasted once — y/n look! Found this by the dumpster!

You let out a deep sigh as you sit down, Mingyu bending down to his knees to look at you eye level. A hand to your cheek as you close your eyes tiredly. “Hey, you okay?” He asks, searching your face.

You nod, “Yeah, um, sorry,” You sigh, “I’m just — I’m just stressed. I didn’t mean to have a breakdown in front of you.” You say apologetically, embarrassed by it. But he shakes his head, not affected by it. In fact, it probably caused him to fall harder, seeing how hard you work.

“Don’t apologize,” He says, pushing strands of your hair back. You look up at him, straight into his brown eyes. The way he looks at you so fondly, worried, that his bottom lip juts out slightly as he observes you. The way his fingers felt along your cheek, how he’s warmed you up in the cold room, brought takeout for you.

Fuck, how his hair is tousled under the hood, and the fact his face was a sight for sore eyes after looking at your paintings all day. Something with actual 3d planes staring at you, instead of flat canvas. Maybe it was the all nighters, the fact you’re on multiple energy drinks on an empty stomach, or that Mingyu is there for you.

You lean forward, shutting your eyes shut as you push your lips against his.

It’s warm, soft… might even get lost in it if—

You pull back after a second, as you see Mingyu’s wide eyes.

Oh fuck, did you read this wrong? Shit, at least you can blame it on lack of sleep—

A pair of lips crash into yours again, this time, you part yours as Mingyu’s warm lips mold into yours. Its warm, and comforting and everything nice, as you grab his collar to pull him closer. Making him stumble forward as he holds onto the edge of the chair to steady himself close to you.

You let out a soft breath as Mingyu snakes his free hand around to the small or your back, pushing you close as possible to him. Mingyu compensating for your lack of energy with his, as he kisses you deeply, something he’s always wanted to do. Every since he watched you draw random people at that campus fountain.

He pulls back as you pathetically try to chase his lips, as he kisses you chastely before speaking. “Y/n,” He breathes, “Fuck, you don’t know how long I wanted to do that.” He confesses, as he holds your face in his large hands.

You smile softly, “Mingyu, I—“

The box of charcoals clatter, as you accidentally drop it right next to the table of supplies. Sheepishly you bow at the students in class, not meaning to disrupt their focus.

You bend down to pick up the charcoal. What are you doing? It may be the third figure drawing class today, but dropping a box of pencils as you recount your days with Mingyu was horrible. Terrible.

Especially when you boasted to one of your friends as you shared a meal, Ah, Kim Mingyu? Thats over. Lets just focus on grad review.

You sigh, standing back up as you slide the box of art supplies on the table. Checking the time, you slide the notifications of Mingyu’s missed calls away. It was five minutes before class started, where the hell was the model?

And as if on cue, the other T.A. comes skitting towards you, pushing her glasses up as she avoids the boxes of supplies around the room. “Ah, Y/n—“ She starts, talking quietly to not cause alarm.

She stops in front of you, as you furrow your brows. Today the professor wasn’t in. As the consistent T.A., she trusted you to handle today with no substitutes. It wasn’t anything hard. You just helped set up the drawing horses and supplies, adjusted the lights and made sure the models were comfortable. It was easier especially when another T.A. was assigned to assist you today.

“Hm? What?” You ask, as you dust your hands.

She takes a deep breath, “Um, well, the model got food poisoning.” She starts. Leaning in so other students didn’t hear. “I just learned this right now, she’s like in the bathroom in the main hall throwing up like crazy.”

You frown, “What? Is she okay?” You say, straightening up, walking towards the front door grabbing your jacket off one of the stray art horse chairs.

She follows clumsily, “She’s fine! But she can’t model for this class. I know you’re in charge, but I panicked and just called whoever was on the emergency model list.”

You stop, causing the other T.A. to bump into your back, with a little squeak. A small what should have been insignificant memory flooding back.

“You’re TAing now? Seriously?” Mingyu asks lightly, as he fiddles with a loose strand of your sweater, the rough pads of his fingers pulling on it.

You slap his hand away disapprovingly, causing him to pout. “Yeah, just for figure drawing. I want to make a little money anyways, but working at the campus cafe is too time consuming.” You respond, as you continue to draw in your sketchbook. Outlining the foliage in front of you with your pen.

“Hm, what would that mean?” He asks, leaning forward to wrap an arm around your shoulder. Careful not to disturb your drawing, as he rests his chin on your closer shoulder. Watching you draw was his favorite past time nowadays.

“Just like, setting up, taking care of the figure drawing models. Things like that.” You respond absentmindedly.

“Models? Like, thats a job?” He asks, making you crack a smile. You forget how normal people knew nothing about art. You’re just glad he was openminded about basically everything.

You turn to look at him, “Yeah, the school hires people to pose for drawing. Its for studying.” You respond, as you tap your pen against the tip of his nose, where his beloved mole resided. Making him scrunch his nose, the corners of his lips turning up.

“Actually, I should write the emergency contact list. The professor updates every semester of models to contact if theres no shows, and the et cetera. I should just do it now so I don’t forget —“

“Add me on there then.”

You blink.

“Huh, what?” You say confused, looking at him with raised brows.

He straightens up, “You heard me. Add my number to that list. It sounds interesting,” He defends, his tone light.

You shake your head, smiling. “Mingyu, you don’t get it. You have to stand there naked, and do different poses every five to thirty minutes. Its not an easy thing to do.” You say, dismissing his words as nonsense. Sometimes he was too eager to try things just because they existed in your world.

Mingyu doesn’t falter. “Yeah I know. I just, it sounds cool. Also having a bunch of people drawing me, I don’t know… sounds nice. Also its like emergency contact right?” He says shrugging, “It’s not like it’ll actually happen. I know you’d never call me if it was an emergency, but just add me on it. If all models decide they’re not feeling it that day.” He suggests lightly.

You stare at him still in disbelief, narrowing your eyes. He scoffs, leaning forward to lean his forehead against yours as a challenge. A little goofy smile on his face, “What? Come on. Just add me to the list.”

The rational side of you knew this would never actually happen. Mingyu had no qualifications, and besides, there was a dozen other numbers to call before him. So you suck it up, sighing, writing his name down. Just for the sake that he’d shut up about it.

“Okay, fine.”

Your heart beats, eyes wide as you try to calm yourself. You didn’t want to release your anger against this girl for trying to fix the situation. It was your fault, really, in the first place to put his number on there. But this never was something that has happened before.

“Which number picked up?” You ask calmly, clasping your hands together as you focus on not exploding on your fellow T.A.

“Uh, just called the first one. He said he was on campus so he was down, and we only have five minutes till class—“

“Jesus, his name please?”

“Kim Mingyu.”

Oh fuck. Fuuuucckkkkk.

Mouth wide, and panicked eyes, you start to speak, before you hear the opening of the classroom door. You turn, and your face practically goes pale.

There he was — Kim Mingyu, just in a simple coat and pants. His eyes immediately landing on you. Its only been a month, but he cut his hair. Slightly shorter than you remember, as you tilt your head.

Stop it. You have to act normal.

You take a deep breath, trying to act professional. There was no time to question why the hell he’d even pick up and walk all the way here. Or why your heart was beating so fast, just looking at him.

“Um, escort him to the dressing room area.” You start, prying your eyes from Mingyu to the other T.A. “There should be a clean robe there too.” You inform, patting her arm as you beeline straight away from them.

You find a haphazardly stacked amount of newsprint, focusing on making all the edges match as you calm your heart. It’s fine, it really is.

For some reason Mingyu was interested in figure drawing modeling before. Maybe he just wanted to cross that off his bucket list, and had nothing to do with you.

The other T.A. comes back to stand beside you, “Is he comfortable?” You ask.

“Yeah, he’s fine. Just seems a little inexperienced,” She responds, scratching her cheek. “He asked if he had to take all his clothes off, and I was like, huh? Yeah? But other that that—“

“Yeah, alright.” You interrupt dryly. “Thank you. I’ll just take over after this.” You say, as you grab the timer from the table.

You walk towards the center, clearing your throat as the art students look up. “Right, hi. Professor Kang isn’t here today, but don’t mind. Today will be quite an easy day.” You start, crossing your arms.

Your eyes immediately follow to the ruffle of the dressing curtain, as Mingyu walks out in a fluffy robe. Brown eyes meet yours, and for a second you think this will be fine. Until the corners of his lips turn up, into a toothy grin only you knew so well.

That motherfucker. Bucket list my ass, he said yes just to mess with you!

You turn away sharply, focusing back on the class. “The model today is Kim Mingyu.” You say shortly, before stepping off the small platform.

You gesture for Mingyu to walk to the center, your face stone cold as you watch him step onto the platform.

He clears his throat, “Do I take the robe off now?” He asks cluelessly.

Great, just show everyone you have no clue what you’re doing. If this was a few months ago, it’d be cute. But Mingyu standing hopelessly waiting for instructions was annoying you, to say the least.

You nod, and immediately, he undoes his robe and lets it fall to the floor.

You can’t help but stare. Your lips pressed into a thin line, your body tense. Stop stop stop! You couldn’t give him a reaction. As an artist, it was normal to see naked bodies. It wasn’t a sexual thing, especially in figure drawing. But Mingyu wasn’t just an old man or something. He was a conventionally attractive, tall, well built man. In more places than one.

“Oh shit, he’s hot.” The other T.A. whispers to you, covering her mouth. You bite back your embarrassment, as you just send her a glare for her unprofessional reaction.

It doesn’t help that other people around the room are pleasantly surprised by Mingyu, as I see pink dusting around people’s cheeks. It was infuriating, to say the least.

“Holy shit, a hot model. Is this real?”

“I thought we had a middle aged woman today. Bro… score!”

“I’ve never stared so closely.”

“Alright, warm ups. Ten one minute poses.” You say plainly, holding up the timer and pressing down on it. Immediately, Mingyu nods, springing into action.

His poses were something else. They were a bit awkward, as he stood there. First putting his hands on his hips, staring at the ground.

But he started getting more comfortable. After the ten one minute poses were up, the other T.A. Adds a stool to the platform for Mingyu to sit on.

“One pose, 15 minutes.” You say, setting the timer again.

This time instead of looking at the ground, wall, or ceiling, he stared straight at you. His eyes unwavering. The sight makes your mouth go dry, as the studio lights enhance Mingyu’s features perfectly.

His face framed by the little curl of his bang, light bouncing off his tanned skin as the definition of his muscles are on display. The way his large shoulders balance his proportions, and his skin smooth and tightly wrapped around his toned torso. He always was working out, and it seemed like he kept that up, as your eyes trail from his abs to his bottom half. Your cheeks flushing as he’s so unabashedly bare in front of the whole room.

But it only propelled your anger. How could he? Just step into your domain — the art school wing — and just come here? Posing like a gangly weirdo, riding on his looks so none of the students complained. Staring straight into your eyes as a confrontation. So much it felt like he was telepathically speaking to you.

Why aren’t you returning my calls? Or, how does this make you feel? It was infuriating.

And as if satisfied in your attention on him, he smirks, like he won some imaginary battle. This idiot.

The timer rings, making you flinch against the supply table. Your cheeks flush slightly, as you clear your throat. “Another 6 poses, each 2 minutes.” You manage to choke out, pressing the timer.

As the figure session goes on for the next hour, Mingyu’s confidence was starting to irritate you to no end. At first what was awkward, was now overtly dramatic. His poses of showing off his muscles, flexing his back, it was too much. People were here to draw, not ogle.

You decided to play, not wanting Mingyu to have the upper hand. As Mingyu goes to pick up the robe off the ground, you yell, “Stop right there!”

Mingyu freezes immediately, mainly out of confusion. His eyes drifting to you, a slight furrow of his brows.

“Now, the model will stay still. Do you see how the arm connects to the shoulder blades? Please turn to a new paper and start focusing on that area.” You say, stopping Mingyu in an uncomfortable position in the name of education.

You eye how his leg starts to shake from holding it, but it only fuels you. “Now focus on the thigh muscle, we’ll hold this pose for another 3 minutes.” You say, a little glee seeping into your voice.

Mingyu’s eyes shooting up to glare at you, as you cock your head and smile.

You push Mingyu to do crazy things, like pretending to do a lay up for 10 minutes to talk about line of action. Or when you asked the students to move in closer to draw his face, having twenty people at once hyper fixate on his expression. Now, the class was fun. You completely turned it around.

The timer rings. “Alright, lunch break.” You say, as it’s half way through the 6 hour class.

Theres a collective sigh of relief, as students massage their wrists, and Mingyu putting his robe back on, but loosely. Letting his chest peek out through the fabric, as he walks around the room.

You watch as he circles, smiling and complimenting others.

“Wow, thats really good.”

“Whoa, really love how you drew that one.”

“Is that how I look? I’m flattered! Thanks.”

You huff, looking away as you catch a glimpse of him leaning over a pretty girl’s shoulder as she shows her sketches. Purposefully letting the loose robe drape his exposed chest as he examines the drawings.

Students get up to stretch their bones outside, getting lunch during the break. The other T.A. goes to check on something, leaving only you and Mingyu in the figure drawing room.

You stand, ignoring him as you walk towards the platform, readjusting the power of the studio lights. “Next part of the class is long poses,” You say, twisting the knob. “So it’ll be harsh lights. you just have to sit there, it’ll easy.”

You turn back around, Mingyu looking at you with a small smile, barely a yard away. His hands on his hips, as he looks down at you. “You know,” He drawls, his voice low. “This was a lot more fun than I thought.”

“Is it?” You respond bitterly, “Well I’m glad. Because you’re not gonna be paid for this.” You inform him, as Mingyu isn’t a real model signed with the school.

“Thats okay, I’m getting what I wanted anyways.”

You sigh, as you cross your arms. Deciding not to beat around the bush.

“What are you doing here, Mingyu?” You ask tiredly, finally looking at him straight, your brows furrowed. You boldly looking into his playful eyes.

His smug expression softens, almost reminiscent to how he would look at you before everything. He takes his bottom lip under his teeth, chewing as he looks at you.

“You seriously need me to answer that? Like always?” He says quietly, but with only you two in the studio, he could whisper from across the room and you’d still catch it.

“What, like you actually answer me with anything that makes sense?” You respond back tightly. Sighing, you relax your shoulders, biting your cheek as you glance away from him. A student’s messy pencil case catching your attention, albeit forced.

A deafening silence falls. Mingyu never really liked to fight anyways.

“You’re, you’re difficult, you know that?” He starts, as he ruffles his hair with his hand, as if that would release his pent up frustration. “When I got the random phone call that you guys needed a last minute model, I thought for a second it was intentional.”

He takes a step closer, “But of course not. You looked like you saw a ghost when I walked in.”

You gulp, “Well, to be fair, thats what you are now.” You say quietly. Avoiding his eyes.

“Oh? So I’m just dead to you?”

“No, that would be easier.” You snap, finally looking back to face his eyes. Mingyu’s jaw clenched, his eyebrows knitted, trying to figure you out like an abstract art piece.

He swallows, his adam’s apple bobbing as he lets out a disappointed huff. “y/n.” He starts firmly, in a tone he barely used.

But of course, directed to you, making your skin crawl in the overly air conditioned room.

Hands on his hips, as he takes a long breath, his head facing down as he hides his expression. “For an artist, you’re really shit at expressing your feelings.” He sighs, his bangs hiding whatever you could gather from him.

“Fine.” He concludes, looking up, his shoulders more relaxed. “I’ll stop bothering you about it, since you’re so sure.” He says throwing his arms out. “On one condition.”

You furrow your brows in confusion, wary of whatever condition he was gonna propose. Mingyu could be unpredictable when you pushed him, making the hair at the back of your neck stand.

“Draw me.” He says finally. He glances at the clock on the wall, “They still have that lunch break. So just draw me at least once, before everyone comes back.” He proposes, turning around to walk casually to the platform, as if he’s assuming you would just do it.

Is he serious? You weren’t even together anymore, and yet he wants a free commission from you? Thats crazy, like you’d ever —

“Fine.” You say curtly, “Since you’re so desperate for my attention anyways.” You quip, walking over to the supply table, making sure your shoes stomp against the hard floor. You swipe some spare paper, clipboard, and some charcoal.

The second you were at an art horse in front of Mingyu though, your fire waned slightly. The dead silence of the room was deafening, as you adjust your clipboard. The sound of the metal clips thumping against the paper, the feet of the art horse squeaking as you adjust sitting on the worn wood.

When you gaze up at Mingyu, it was obvious. He really was getting what he wanted, and it was your undivided attention.

Once ready, the charcoal in your hand, Mingyu sits down on the stool, eyes steady on you as he grips the already loose tie around his robe with his large hand. Letting it fall, as he exposes himself once more in the bright lights you set up yourself. He kicks the robe away off the platform, set on you drawing him like this.

You blink back any feelings that threaten to show on your face, readjusting the charcoal in your hand as you avoid Mingyu’s eyes, pressing down to finally start a line.

Its been a while since you last drew figures, and it usually took an hour of continuous drawing before you really found your pace in figure drawing sessions. But it was different this time.

Your heart beats in your ears, a silence of the room highlighting the sound of your charcoal smearing against the newsprint — the sounds of your breathing and of Mingyu’s, as time passes. Agonizingly slowly, yet a focus every artist aches for.

Your hand moves accordingly. Outlining the contour of his silhouette, the way his neck slopes, the soft lines that shape his abs he always was working on. Pressing for pressure with your charcoal as you indicate the weight of him sitting on the stool, hands in his laps loose as you capture his likeness with ease.

But the focus doesn’t last for long, especially when you flicker your eyes back to his. Already flicking a stroke to mimic his right eyelid, before you still. Pressing the tip of your charcoal into the paper, crumbling against the grain as you stare into his large brown eyes.

Fuck. What are you even doing?

Why are you drawing him so intently, when you vowed just a while ago that you never wanted to see Mingyu again?

Your breath hitches, as you raise your arm, flickering back to your drawing. Charcoal in the air, swinging to run a huge line through your figure of him, to smear it, to destroy it, to —

Your wrist stops mid air, as you feel a warm grip tightening around you. Eyes wide, you unfocus on the paper, to look up. Somehow in your tiny melt down Mingyu got down from the platform.

He looks down at you, eyebrows furrowed. Jaw tense, “You were just gonna ruin it, weren’t you?” He asks you quietly.

You can’t help but knit your brows, a pained expression forming that matches the one in his eyes.

The charcoal clatters out of your hand, landing on the floor in broken pieces.

Tears start welling in your eyes, your bottom lip trembling. “You’re right,” You start shakily, “I don’t know… how to address anything unless I’m drawing.” You say weakly.

Mingyu’s eyes soften slightly, swallowing hard as the bright lights highlight the contour of throat bobbing. “Yeah, seems like it.” He replies carefully. You expected him to use this as a told you so, maybe give you a smug smile, like, I knew you weren’t over me.

But Mingyu was never like that anyways. No matter how much he craved your attention, he also wanted your peace of mind. A hard thing to ask from an artist like you.

His grip on your wrist softens, as he kneels down, getting eye level with you as you still sit on the art horse. Holding your hand in his, rubbing a thumb over the veins on the back of your hand gently.

“I miss you.” You finally muster, your eyes focused on his.

“I miss you too.” He responds back, before cracking a small smile.

You strain your brows into a furrow, blinking back the warm tears you naturally formed from the vulnerable moment. A shaky huff also coming out of you, as you decide to lean forward.

Inching your face closer, until the tip of your noses brush, Mingyu stiffening slightly as you shyly graze your lips against his lips. A small breath escaping his lips, fanning over yours before you finally part them.

Your lips against his — it was like home. Finding your way back after such a tumultuous and useless road. The warmth of his lips seeping into you, Mingyu as relieved as you are. His hands finding its way to the sides of your face, pulling you impossibly closer.

It only escalates, as you open your mouth wider to push your tongue against his, making Mingyu groan out as he meets you with similar enthusiasm.

He pulls you forward, off the art horse. Taking you down to the ground, maneuvering you until your back is against the hard floor. Covering you with his large frame, his weight pressing down on you in ways you were having such a hard time admitting you missed.

It was fast, and albeit messy and rushed. Like trying to make up for wasted time as you pull him close, hands wrapped around the back of his neck as your lips go numb, your teeth clashing.

You let out a whine, when Mingyu pulls away with a heavy breath, fighting against your attempts to pull him back for a kiss.

“Y/n — fuck, can we?” He asks hurriedly, his voice breathless. A look of want in his big eyes, but there was also a little responsibility.

First of all — anyone could walk into the studio any second. There was only a lunch break, sure, an hour. But at least half of it has passed.

As you take your bottom lip under your teeth, chewing at your swollen lip as you think. And Mingyu knows exactly what look you were giving him, and he wasn’t going to reject you. Not now.

He leans back in, crashing his lips against yours in a sloppy kiss, breath hot against yours, before moving to your jaw. Leaving open mouthed rushed kisses down your neck, as you move your hands down his back. Feeling the muscles you were forcing yourself to look away from during the whole first half of class.

Touching Mingyu was way better than just drawing him from afar. You’re sure on that.

He moves his hand down, to push your midi skirt up, bunching the fabric to your hips. Your legs exposed to the cold air of the studio, as he wastes no time to slide your panties to the side. Already wet and damp from the heavy making out, and partially to the adrenaline of being in such a risky place.

“Damn, already?” He says, with a slight tease to his voice, making you pinch his arm. He lets out a pained chuckle, before placing his thick fingers against yours core, a gasp escaping your lips.

It helped that he knew you so well already, your legs squirming around the sides of him as he runs his fingers through yours wet folds, his thumb circling your clit as he inserts two fingers in, stretching you out as you gasp, Mingyu attacking your neck with messy kisses as he gets you ready for him.

“Fuck, Gyu,” You whine, your eyes rolling back in pleasure as he curls his fingers, hitting the spongy flesh that makes you arch your back off of the floor.

You weren’t the only one worked up, Mingyu being bare this entire time. His dick pressing up against the inner of your thigh, hardening at the sounds of your pleasure.

Your hand shoots down to grab hold of him, helping him get hard as he lets out a moan, as you tighten your grip. Pumping him a few times, lining him up to you as he removes his hand from your entrance.

You both let out soft gasps as you hold his dick to swipe against you, coating him in your arousal, his tip leaking with precum.

He doesn’t even ask, he just knows, as he pushes in, filling you inch by inch. The friction from your pulled to the side panties, to the tight warm walls of your pussy, making him feel lightheaded with pleasure.

“Fuck, you’re so tight baby,” He breathes, without even adjusting, he ruts into you roughly. Bottoming out as he knocks the wind out of you.

A whine escapes your throat, as you hold tightly around his shoulders, as Mingyu doesn’t slow his pace.

Its rough, its fast, and overall — desperate. The lewd sounds of flesh colliding echoing in the empty studio. Your mind going dumb at his fast pace, only focused on how he goes in, out. In, out.

The smell of his sweat, the way your hands run down his exposed body, all for you. He did this all for you. To get your attention, to get you back. God, does he even know how that makes you feel?

“Fuck, fuck,” He whines, burying his face into the crook of your neck. Already feeling a little fatigued from abusing your pussy so fast. But it was just too good, he missed it so much. So, so much. And he made it evident, as he pushes the back of your thighs higher to your chest, getting deep as he can. And fucking you like his life counted on it.

You feel the familiar build up of your orgasm, your walls tightening as you grip Mingyu’s shoulders. “Gyu, Gyu, I’m —“ You manage to choke out, as he moves his face from your neck to yours. Catching your cry with his mouth, drowning it as he kisses you messily.

You shudder, squirming under him as you feel the familiar high. Your body tingling with sensitivity and pleasure, as he overwhelms you with what can only be love.

He follows soon after, not being able to maintain his mouth to yours as he lets out a shaky grunt. Spilling inside you, his cum warm and filling, making your cheeks flush in contentment and relief.

He slows, stilling as you both catch your breaths. Pulling out of you with a reluctance. Pushing himself up, to lean back to sit. You follow as well, adjusting your skirt back as you push yourself up to your elbows.

Mingyu was a sight, as he always is. His tan skin glowing with a layer of sweat. The way his toned chest rises from catching his breath. The way his bangs are sticking to his forehead, his cheeks flushed with a rush of blood. A satisfied look on his face, as he sighs, licking his bottom lip as he looks at you.

You can’t help but smile, a warm one. As you gather yourself.

“Lets get you cleaned up before the second half. Where did you throw your robe?”

“Oh fuck. I don’t know. You got any other ones?”

[captain-acab]

I do not want to see Trump impeached. I do not want to see Trump die in office.

That might be weird to hear from an antifascist blog. But if there's one thing I really hoped the Left would learn from this election, it's that you have to play the cards you're dealt, not the ones you wish you had.

Do you know who becomes president if Trump is impeached? J.D. Vance.

And while Trump is a boorish, selfish, corrupt charlatan, he is ultimately motivated by greed. Vance, on the other hand, is an ideologue. Trump realized he could swindle the masses by going after Mexicans and trans people, but he doesn't actually care. Vance is much smarter, much more politically savvy, and much much more committed to advancing White Supremacy.

Vance wants to destroy the rights of women, non-whites, non-Christians, and queer people on principle, not just because it's personally profitable to him. His political views are farther right than Project 2025. Let that sink in.

However disastrous Trump's presidency may be, a Vance presidency would be catastrophically worse. This is our reality.

[beneathsilverstars]

people are wondering about loop in the au where the party stops siffrin from using the dagger in dormont and the ensuing conversation breaks the loops so let's see...

Siffrin would still want to go see Loop first thing afterwards, but everyone else would be verrry worried about him going off alone. He tries to inconspicuously wander off but Isabeau is immediately like, "Heyy buddy where are you off to? Mind if I come with?" Siffrin feels guilty for selfishly making everyone feel obligated to not leave him alone, and getting them all worried about an issue that isn't even what it looked like. So he's kinda hoping they won't be so worried about him now that they've beat the king and decided to stay together... but he's also afraid that if they stop worrying, they'll decide, okay, no need to stay together after all.

But luckily Siffrin doesn't have to sort all of that out right now, because they know Loop has complicated feelings about the party and doesn't want to see them, so they know they have to go by themself if they want a chance of talking to them.

They try to play it casual, "I'm just going to the favor tree, you don't have to come with me." But two can play at surface-level manners so Isabeau says "I want to, though, it's no trouble!" Siffrin doesn't want to refuse him point-blank, but they really want to talk to Loop... so they go back and forth another time or two before Isabeau's like "Look. You understand why I'm worried about you suddenly going off for no apparent reason, right? On your own, when you've been glued to my side for the last half hour? I... I don't want to stop you,'' (Does that mean that he wouldn't? Or that he would, but he'd be sorry about it?) "but I would feel a lot better about it if you brought someone with you? Doesn't have to be me. Or at least explained why you're going...? Sorry, I know it must be so annoying to have to explain your every move, but... it's been less than a day, since. y'know. And I'd be... I just want you to stay safe."

And oh, Siffrin hates that he's made Isabeau so upset, that he messed up so bad yesterday and that he's making it worse right now, that he's made him so concerned over nothing. So he hesitantly, carefully explains, "There's someone I want to talk to. at the favor tree. I... talked to them there yesterday? And. they might be there again today, but. they definitely won't talk to me if any of you are with me." And, okay, it's reassuring that Siffrin has a reason, and it doesn't even seem he's lying, but. Isabeau can't help but be worried anyway. Especially because this is apparently someone Siffrin talked to at right about the same time that he started acting weird, yesterday? What if this person made Siffrin feel worse, what if they did something that pushed Siffrin over the edge??

But he knows that's edging past reasonable concern into paranoia, so he just asks, "Would it be alright if I walked you to the edge of town at least? Since you're still kinda woozy, and, that way I'll be in earshot if you need me...?" And Siffrin agrees, very relieved to have found a compromise and actually glad for the continued company. And it occurs to them that Isabeau might be less worried about them if they didn't have their dagger on them, and, the day has already been saved... So he gives Isabeau his dagger, along with a promise that he's not gonna do that, and Isabeau does seem happier!

So off they go through Dormont. Isabeau stops farther back on the path just a bit before the bend, where he won't be able to see Siffrin or overhear casual conversation, but could definitely hear a shout and coming running. And Siffrin goes to the tree, and sees the coin, and... twohats ensues! The dialogue is somewhat different, though, because they never did entirely figure it out in the end, did they? They had started learning about wish craft, but Loop hadn't quite connected it yet and of course Siffrin refused to look at their own wish. And then, what a dramatic final loop!

So. More along the lines of, "That was it? Really? You just had to kill yourself in front of them to get everything you ever wanted? To break the loops? To never be alone again? To guilt them into staying forever, because they think you're going to slit your own blinding throat if they let you out of their sight? Sure! Whatever it takes! Never let anyone tell you suicide threats don't work~" and "Do you know how many times I killed myself? How many more times I died?? Did I just not do it right? Wrong time, wrong place? Did I not suffer enough? Was I not selfish enough? What did I do wrong!! Why do you get to escape and not me! I deserve this happy ending, not you!! Why do you get to stay with them and not me!!!"

But, hm. Loop was kinda really raising their voice there at the end, weren't they?

Loop's voice still sounds a bit odd — part inhuman form, part new habit, part intense emotion — but, they're not putting active effort into keeping up the mask right now. Not when they're this upset. Not when Siffrin already knows. And Isabeau hasn't seen Loop yet; he just heard their voice. And a couple of the things that voice said.

So Isabeau makes it around that corner while Loop is speaking more quietly. And then Loop says "STARS, killing you will make me SO HAPPY," and Siffrin reaches for their dagger and freezes as he realizes and remembers it's gone, and Isabeau speeds up, and Loop looks up and see him and freezes too.

And Isabeau says, "Sif?? I thought you promised you weren't going to kill yourself over here???"

Long story short, Loop panics and runs, Siffrin follows while shouting things trying to convince them to come back, so of course Isabeau follows too, and Siffrin almost collapses because they're still craft exhausted. Loop gives up and lets them catch up, and I do mean gives up, they just wanna lay down and die, if you can't go out with a bang there's nothing wrong with a whimper. But Siffrin and Isabeau refuse to leave them there, so they wait around and talk at them, and then run out of things to say and wait some more. Eventually Mirabelle finds them and she's very upset and glad they're okay, and at that point Loop gives up on giving up and quietly follows them back to Dormont, so Siffrin won't get himself more sick and all his friends more worried, staying out in the forest all night.

And so! The party knows who Loop is from the very start, but not anything about the time loops! Just that something very strange must have happened, to end up with two Siffrins and one of them a star.

[angellekookie]

IN THE NAME OF LOVE & OTHER THINGS | MYG - Royalty AU [oneshot]

Summary: In which you really tried not to fall for him, but some things are inevitable, and you're ready to give u everything to be with him.

Genre: Romance (and maybe a little agnst? bro idk this was an accident

WC: 1.6 K

Warnings: None that I can think of, if I'm being honest.

Pairings: Min Yoongi x F! Reader

Note: Yall this drabble was naawt supposed to happen but since it did, let's call it either a prelude or a spoiler for another project I have in the works. It has not been beta read or checked for errors any at all. Anyway, hope you enjoy reading it nontheless, it was a fun distraction ^^

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto & @strangergraphics

You two were never to meet. Afterall, you were both from two different worlds that only ever intertwined in the shadows. You lived in ballgowns and politics, delicate hands never even having to feed yourself if you lack any such desire on a given day. He lived in stone and clay and plaster, calloused hands rumoured to be tinged with gold or magic because of how he could bring any material to life. 

You were the daughter of a Duke, and while he was indeed a prodigy, the most sought after artist in all the four kingdoms, that didn’t mean the public would take too kindly to a relationship or marriage between you. It would never work.

It’s what you’ve been trying to come up with a way to tell him that whatever it was between you two had to end. There was no future for it, nothing to look forward to.

So why did you fall in love with him? Just when did you manage to fall for the Hands of Midas himself?

You wondered if it was between the silences you’ve shared, as he was a man of few words. Or maybe it was the dedication and focus he had when he was working. Perhaps, one too many instances of you watching him work on the sculptures your father commissioned for the parlour. Nights where you hoped, prayed, wished and even went as far as risking your dignity to beg and plead with the skies if they could make you marble or clay or anything just once. How his hands moved creating lines and shadows, bringing new life to every area he touched - it made you wonder if he could bring a new life to you too. 

You heard him laugh exactly once, but you vividly remember every smile and you secretly wished they were all for you.

If only you knew that Min Yoongi had saved every smile for you. 

He never wanted to be sponsored by the Duke. He didn’t want anything to do with any of the nobles. He’d wanted to stay home, with his family. All he knew for his entire life was art. His mother’s singing, his father’s painting and his own love for sculpting. He was always quiet, observing the world around him and seeing every flaw. But Yoongi thought they were beautiful, so he used his hands to create the world that he sees, the one he loves. He didn’t need anything else. But going to stay with a wealthy family would be good for his own family. He’d get a great education, a place to stay and of course, he could sculpt whenever his heart desired- that’s what his mother told him as she sent him off on the carriage when he was younger.

Of course he missed his mother, cried for the first and last time the day he left. He was sure nothing could ever make leaving home worth it, wanted to curse the Duke and everything he stood for ripping him away from his recently widowed mother. Oh how that quickly changed when a girl with the kindest eyes and the biggest and brightest eyes ran out just as he was getting out of the carriage at the duchy. He noticed the dirt on her cheeks, how she seemed unbothered; happy. How she dragged along who he would correctly assume was a younger sibling- though she expressed more discomfort at whatever she was unwillingly being volunteered into. 

Being sponsored by the Duke had its perks, though. Yoongi would get to spend his days learning whatever they thought he needed academically, and as soon as that was done he’d get to bask in the glow of his art and his loyal audience of exactly one. Just as he would trace the lines on his current project, you would be tracing him. Of course, he couldn’t help the smiles he desperately tried to suppress whenever you were around. That was the only thing that could happen between you two, he knew that. You and him could never happen, surely such a pairing would be doomed from the start. He could only ever dare to reach out to you in his most wretched dreams. That was as far as he would go.

That was how far he thought he would have gone until that day between the marble and the roses things went just a bit too far. Spilled wine, whispered confessions and shared desire broke years of silence and tension. Suddenly, the spectator was the centre of attention. Though Yoongi didn't miss the opportunity that you had always been the star in his eyes. A star he never thought he’d ever get to hold in his hands, despite the risk of being burnt.

The risk was great. He knew it and so did you. 

And yet you would find yourself wrapped up in Yoongi always, somehow. You loved him, you were sure. So what if the risk was drowning? Whatever great thing that you were born to accomplish in this life couldn’t compare to loving him, being loved by him. 

Your mother, ever the noble lady she tried to raise you to be, asked you if you were sure that this was what you wanted to do. Left without a word to speak to your father, you presumed. You knew what it would come down to at the end of the day, knew that surely you couldn’t have your cake and eat it too. 

Your father was always the kind of man to talk about duty and honour. Never failing to tell you and your sister the importance of the roles you were born in. He’d always encouraged you both that being a leader in any sense of the word, was to be wise both in mind and the heart. You were in his office with your sister when he told you that knowledge was just a blade without the handle of wisdom. You were also in his office whenever he scolded you for something like missing lessons with the governess (again) or whenever he praised you for a beautiful painting you made.

This time, you sat stood before him, too scared, too nervous for the outcome. Hoping the ‘But father, I love him’ you were holding on your tongue would be enough of an explanation for him. Hoping that you didn’t break down and cry and beg and plead for him to let you go. That you really tried not to fall for him, but some things were inevitable. You had so much to say in your defense. All ready to run away should they decide to lock you up in the duchy forever or marry you off to some old widower. You weren’t prepared for when your father took your own hand in his, and looked at you with something that you truly did not have the words to describe. “Are you truly serious about this? Do you love him, ___?”

“With everything,” The tears you planned to use and beg were now threatening to make an appearance for a whole different reason. “I don’t want to have to live a life knowing I gave up the chance to love him.” You sat at his feet like you used to when you were much smaller. “I know you’re disappointed in me and that I’ve let you down but father, I’m-” 

You never got to apologise. Not when your father told you you had nothing to apologise for, that he knows this must have meant a lot to you since you actually wanted to apologise for breaking the rules this time. He hugged you and told you he’d already spoken to Yoongi, that you both shouldn’t just run away, that he’d take care of everything- that he could make sure you were safe one last time. What could you have possibly done, except cry while your father held you for the first time in a long time, for the last time in a long time. 

It’s how you found yourself still crying in the arms of your younger sister. You had come to tell her that you had made your mind up, you came to tell her goodbye.

Evening came, stealing away the daylight, but also bringing the time you were to leave everything familiar and dear to you behind. You were still in your sister’s room, head in her lap as she absentmindedly stroked her fingers through your hair. It was almost as if she was the older one today, but then again- she was always the more composed of the two of you. You were leaving her with a heavy burden, a great responsibility. But you knew that she could handle it much better than you ever would, with much more grace than you could even think to imagine.

“What is love, that you’re so willing to give everything up like this?” You took some time before answering your sister’s question, only to put your thoughts together. 

“Love is something that knocks on your door at odd hours in the night. It warms your cheeks when you're out during the day, it chases you through meadows- it’s an adventure that comes to find you when it knows you're ready to sacrifice everything to chase it. Eventually, you’ll find yourself where love  rests.”

“I’m afraid you’ve left me even more confused than I was three minutes ago…” She looked at you, the sad smile not reaching her eyes.

“One day, you will find love, and find yourself, and find your answer.” That’s what you told her as you embraced her for the last time for a long time.

You yourself often wondered what love was. But in the carriage your father arranged for you the night you left home, in the place you now live with a man you were convinced was born from your dreams, in the letters you exchange with your sister ever so often… You can safely say you found it.

AN: Thanks again for reading everyone, feedback is always appreciated 😘.

Taglist

@livingformintyoongi @moochii-daisies @peoniesnro

[weeewooobitsfallout]

Companion rambles: could they operate a vehicle + other random assortment of headcannons

Curie:

Knows every single part of a car. Knows every driving safety rule. Do not let her near a vehicle. Her driving style is mad-max levels of fear. She will giggle and comment about how much fun she’s having, and how she wishes she did this sooner. Danger level: 9/10. You won’t die but you’ll never look at a corvega the same.

Cait:

In trying to hotwire it, will either blow it up or will turn it on for just enough time that the alarm goes off. If she did find a functioning one, it would probably end up in a ditch. Danger level: 7/10

Deacon:

He can drive, but in the same way that a elderly person would: you don’t know if he should be behind the wheel, but goddamn it if he’s not going to Tokyo drift into the last parking spot in front of the super-duper mart. Danger level: 5/10

Danse:

Why concern himself with pre-war ruins that aren’t even technologically interesting? He *technically* can fly vertibirds, but also…heights get to him sometimes. If he did have a car, he would dive super safe and basically act like a midwestern dad. Do NOT try and merge without signaling in front of him. Danger level: 2/10

Mac:

Really good at taking cars apart. Only knows about driving from comics. TBH I think he would be the type to only learn how to ride a bike at 10+ years old. He can’t even start the car. Danger level: 0/10

Hancock:

Would try to drive but would get either lost or just confused after about a half hour. Would probably try to add a bunch of stuff on top, like a missile launcher or a turret. It would be so decked out that it wouldn’t even be functional anymore. Would take joy in doing demolition derbies with Mac. Danger level: 3/10

Piper:

She knows how a car works, but like, only from reading 4 pages of a really old manual when she was board. She claims to defunct know how they work, but has no idea what to do when she lifts the hood. Either causes an explosion or ends up breaking at least one part. Never gets it moving. 6/10

Gage:

He can probably figure it out after about a day or two of trying to compare it to a coaster. When he does start it, I think he would actually hate driving. He’s the sole one in control, with his foot on the gas the whole time, and there is no way in hell he is ready for that. Would probably make up some excuse about how raiders don’t need to use cars to make their points. 2/10

Preston:

The safest driver in the world at first, but then he starts going after bigger things. Trucks would help with transporting supplies to settlements, he argues. If we had a garrison of tanks, imagine how many people we could protect, etc. He’s not wrong, and not bad at driving, but he really needs to stop adopting every bubble-top he comes across. 3/10

Nick:

Can drive. Will drive. Then will have to confront the reality of his muscle memory being from a person he never really was. He’ll still take a spin now and then, especially if going long distances, but he prefers to walk. It’s more….him. 1/10

Longfellow:

Cars, no. Boats? Hell yeah. He’s taught just about every sailor far harbor has. But try to get him to drive on land and he will straight out refuse. It’s not who he is. 0/10

Strong:

No. Car for throwing. Inside small, only for weak human. No need metal shell to go fast. 0/10

Dogmeat:

Sticks his head out the window. Can honk the horn. 0/10

Codsworth:

Listen, somewhere in his programming is knowing how to drive a car. Also how to assemble one from 4 cans and a high powered magnet. Can drive it either completely normal and safe or in a way that would make vin diesel scared. 7/10

X6:

Danger level: 10/10. He would succeed in the way Hancock could not. He turns it into a weapon. Stuff of nightmares. Avoid at all costs.

[pedrito-friskito]

strawberry wine - joel miller x ofc!liv stone/fem!reader

after - part thirty-five

SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST | READ ON AO3

you leave jackson behind, and things take a turn.

a/n: WE ARE SO BACK BABY. didja miss me? I’ll be completely honest I have up to part 37 written, about to start 38 and I am determined to finish this before s2 drops in april ok? ok.

word count: 7k

warnings: if you’ve been here this long you know what’s up, and if you’ve seen the show you know what’s coming.

✨@friskito-library for updates on new parts/works✨

The morning seems to move in slow motion.

Joel’s not used to the warmth. He’s not used to the pile of blankets that covers you both, bodies bare beneath the sheets, mere inches separating you two.

He made the most of the bed, to say the least. After your conversation had come to a close, things had turned heated. There were more words he wanted to say, but they were all things he wasn’t quite sure how to voice. He didn’t have the right words, ones that would properly convey his gratitude, his love for you. So he settled for whispered I love yous and moans muffled by each other’s mouths, hands roaming until you both lost it, the warmth between your legs the only true home he’s ever known.

“You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me,” he told you after, brushing the sweat-damp hair from your face, his body still pressed to yours, letting his thumb ride the curve of your mouth. “You know that, don’t you?”

You’d just smiled, and damn it all if it still didn’t make his heart skip a beat.

Now, the sun barely cuts through the closed curtains. He feels guilty, needing to wake you — he can’t remember the last time he saw genuine peace on your sleeping face. A glance at the clock on the nightstand tells him it’s too early, but he knows you need to get going, one way or another.

He leaves you be at first, getting out of bed himself, crossing to the bathroom attached to the bedroom. You’d both taken a quick shower before going to bed, and he takes his time now, letting the hot water soothe aches in muscles he didn’t know could ache like they do.

Joel’s not quite sure how long he’s been under the spray when there’s the rustle of the shower curtain, your bare figure stepping inside and pressing up against him a moment later, arms wrapped around his middle. Neither of you says a word, just stood there, the steam surrounding you both, Joel’s hands lifting to cover yours.

It’s still quiet when you start moving again, taking turns beneath the water, Joel washing your hair and letting you return the favour, massaging his fingers against your scalp when he does. You let slip a little groan, and he kisses the noise out of your mouth.

The pace picks up slightly when you get out, towels rubbing skin dry, Joel watching you run a brush through your hair before pulling it back. It bares your neck and he takes advantage, pressing his face to your pulse, leaving a hot kiss there. He goes to pull back but you don’t let him, lifting one hand and fisting it in his hair, the other hand reaching back and pulling his arm around his waist.

“I wish we could just stay here.”

Joel tries to ignore the pang of guilt in his gut. You’d told him more about your conversations with Cowan and Henry, what you’d learned and how things had changed. It wasn’t hard to miss the light in your eyes as you spoke, and Joel knew you’d never ask, but it was obvious: if Ellie chose you, after you found the Fireflies, you’d want to come back to Jackson.

Lincoln was out of the question, he knew. Too many happy memories that could be tarnished by what waited behind Bill and Frank’s bedroom door. Boston wasn’t an option either — you’d never make it back through the gate, and while the memories were further from happy, it was a place that needed to stay in the past. Jackson made the most sense. Tommy is here, same with Cowan and Henry, and while it’s not the happily ever after he imagined for you, it feels like a soft place to land.

“We’ll come back,” he tells you, meaning every word, “if Ellie wants to go with us. I promise you, we’ll come back.”

He doesn’t have a name for the look in your eye, but you turn, leaning in to press a kiss to the patch in his beard, squeezing your hand around his before stepping out of his grip. “C’mon,” you say, your voice low. “I want to beat them to the stables.”

You’re quick to pack, dressed in new clothes Maria had left for you both. Joel keeps the flannel he nicked from Bill and Frank’s, not missing the smile on your face when you see it. As you leave the house, Joel finds himself pausing by Ellie’s door. He can hear movement, the telltale creak of the floorboards, but you tug on his wrist.

“She needs to decide on her own.”

The sun is just cresting the mountain range as you step out the front door, closing it as soundlessly as possible behind you. It casts a wintry glow over everything, and Joel’s grateful for the new boots Tommy had given him — even after the trudge from the house to the stables, he can still feel his toes.

There’s no one around as you make your way to the barn that holds the horses. Tommy won’t be far behind, Joel knows, and he won’t admit to the nervousness in his gut. He did this. He fucked it all up with his one-track mind and his messy emotions. What if she picks Tommy? What if he’s ruined it all?

“Aren’t you beautiful?” he hears you coo to one of the horses, a darker, chocolate-coloured mare he’d seen the day before. The horse chuffs in approval, nudging at your shoulder with her nose while Joel finds saddles for both the chocolate mare and the lighter, coffee-coloured one he’d rode through the gate yesterday.

It’s quiet again as you prepare the horses, strapping your bags to the saddles and finding what little supplies you can in the stables. There’s still no one else around, and it’s been nearly half an hour when your head perks up, listening, and a moment later, Tommy and Ellie come into view, standing outside the stall you’re both in.

“You came here to say goodbye or something?” Ellie asks, her tone biting, and Joel sees you flinch.

“No,” Joel answers, fiddling with the last buckle on the saddle. “We came to take horses and go.”

“I woulda given you horses,” Tommy answers, glancing between you.

You open your mouth to say something, but Joel beats you to it. “I know.” He takes a step toward Ellie, not missing the way her eyes dart to you over his shoulder as he moves closer. “You deserve a choice. I still think you’d be better off with Tommy, but Liv and I, we’ll—”

“Let’s go,” Ellie cuts him off, shoving her duffle at him.

“Okay,” Joel answers, a little stunned, holding the bag to his chest. She cuts around him, stepping into the stall and walking over to you, wordlessly wrapping her arms around your middle, and Joel can feel your grin from where he stands. “You wanna ride with…?”

“Liv,” Ellie answers, her voice curt, and he knows he’s going to have to make up for all this somehow. “Can we go now?”

Tommy just shrugs when Joel looks back at him, then helps you push the stable doors open, leading the horses out. Ellie walks toward the darker horse, and you go to help her up, but Joel moves faster, leaning down and cupping his hands together for her to plant her boot, lifting her up and over. She doesn’t say thank you, but he hands her the reins. “Hold onto both.”

“Uh-huh,” she mumbles, and her tone is already a little lighter.

“Which way?” you’re asking Tommy when Joel turns toward his brother.

“Head southeast till you hit I-25,” he tells you, glancing at Joel. “It’s right off the interstate. Shouldn’t be hard to miss.”

Joel nods, and you step forward, opening your arms to Tommy. “Thank you, Tommy, for everything.”

He hugs you tight. “O’course, Liv. Anything for you two, you know that.”

You just nod, stepping back and brushing past Joel as you step toward the horse Ellie’s perched on. Joel’s wrapped up in Tommy’s hug a moment later, squeezing his brother as hard as he can, reluctant as hell to let go.

When they part, Tommy’s eyes are glossy. “There’s a place for you here,” he says, clapping Joel on the shoulder. “All of you.”

“Countin’ on it,” Joel replies, glancing over his shoulder at you, at the grin still on your face. Tommy readjusts the rifle on his shoulder, and Joel hears you clear your throat softly. “Can I borrow that?”

“Yeah,” Tommy says instantly, pulling the gun off his arm.

“Cuz Maria took mine, y’know,” Joel continues, and you let out what sounds like a scoff.

“I already said yes, Joel,” Tommy laughs, handing him the rifle. “Adios, big brother.”

Joel mounts his own horse after making sure the pair of you are secure in the saddle, and then you’re heading for the gate, Tommy following between the horses. The men posted at the wall reach for their guns when they see you approach, but Tommy calls for them to stand down, and they do. 

“Liv, wait,” Tommy says, and Joel watches you pull on the reins, your mare stopping quickly. “Take this.”

Joel watches his brother disappear into a small shed beside the gate, and when he walks back out again, he’s got your bat in his hand. Most of the nails are gone, but it’s still a decent weapon, and you thank Tommy as he helps you find a spot for it on the saddle.

The gate creaks open a moment later, and then you’re through, back out into the Wyoming wilderness, and well on your way.

+

It’s surprisingly peaceful, riding. Your horse — who you and Ellie have decided is named Brownie — is a sweet thing, gentle and obedient to every tug on the reins. Joel battles a bit more with his own mount, the lighter mare not as quick to trust, but by the time you’ve reached the first strip of forest, he seems to have the hang of it.

The cold doesn’t feel as bad either, not as biting. Ellie is a flare of warmth against your back, her arms wrapped around your middle, and the clothes Maria had left you are suitably warm. You refused to part with the sweatshirt you’d taken from Bill and Frank’s, but the long-sleeved shirt you now have beneath it is the perfect extra layer, along with the thick gloves and the sherpa-lined jacket. Your breath still turns to steam on the air, but your teeth don’t chatter.

She picked you.

You can’t get over the feeling of rightness in your chest. Anyone else would call you insane, you know, but this…this feels right. It feels like you were meant to do this, to find Ellie, to come as far as you have. It’s not just a job anymore — it hasn’t been for a long time, but the feeling is tenfold now.

There had been a moment where you weren’t sure. When she’d first appeared in the stables with Tommy, that split second when she saw you two standing there, the glower on her face, the pain in her eyes. For that moment, you thought it was over, that you and Joel would have to figure out something else, that she’d pick Tommy over you. And you wouldn’t have blamed her if she had.

But you’re sure as hell glad that she didn’t.

You push the horses into a trot when the snow gives way to large patches of grass, most of the white stuff melted away. A few hours of riding, and Joel calls you to halt. Your brow lifts, eyeing the fallen tree on one side of the grassy patch, another on the opposite side.

“Joel?”

“Just wanna stop here a bit,” he tells you, and you watch as he ties his horse to a nearby tree, walking over to you to take your reins a moment later. “Target practice.”

“Target practice?” you repeat, confusion in your voice as he leads your horse to his, tying the reins as well before offering you a hand to help you down. “I don’t think I need—”

“Not you,” he replies, shaking his head. Realization dawns as he juts his chin toward Ellie. “For the kid.”

“Me?” Ellie gasps, absolutely beaming as Joel helps her down from the saddle. “You’re gonna let me shoot?”

“You’re the one that wanted to learn how to hunt,” Joel says, shrugging, and you grin. “Now seems like good a time as any, don’t you think?”

She beams impossibly bigger and nods.

Her first shot goes wide, smashing a chunk of the fallen tree to bits and sending a spray of wood chips in the air. The second pulverizes a pile of snow. The third is just shy of the target Joel has set up, and she heaves a sigh. “Wide right,” Joel says, turning his head to look at Ellie. “You’re flinchin’.”

“The target’s too small!” she shoots back, peering through the gun’s scope. You stifle a laugh. It’s been almost an hour now, since you stopped, since Joel set up the target and showed Ellie how to hold the rifle, pointed out the different parts of the gun and taught her how to aim. You’ve been quiet, mostly, content to watch him with her, your chest nearly bursting with excitement at the ease you can see in his shoulders, the relaxedness in his expression.

It’s the most content you’ve seen him in a long goddamn time.

“I made it bigger than I should’ve,” Joel answers, nodding at the rifle. “Eject the cartridge.”

She does as he says, the casing pinging off the wood. “I am not flinching.”

Joel shoots you a look over the top of Ellie’s head and you stifle another laugh. “Mhm.”

“The rifle just sucks!” Ellie whines at you, and Joel scoffs.

“Okay, give it.”

Ellie sighs, but relents, still complaining as she hands him the gun and moves away to stand beside you. “It doesn’t aim right.”

“Mhm,” you echo.

Joel shifts into teacher mode. “A deep breath in, slow breath out. You squeeze the trigger like you love it.” His eyes shift to you as Ellie lifts the binoculars Joel had given her, watching the target. “Gentle, steady…nice and slow.”

“You gonna shoot this thing or get it pregnant?” Ellie quips, and Joel grins, lowering his head to peer through the scope.

You’re definitely not pressing your thighs together.

“It isn’t gonna work,” Ellie continues. “It doesn’t aim right.”

The shot echoes through the air…

…and just misses, sending more snow into the air.

“Aha!” Ellie yells triumphantly, jumping up and pointing at Joel. “I told you!”

“Gimme that thing,” you laugh, holding a hand out to Joel. He lifts his brow at you but hands you the rifle. “Someone’s gotta show this kid how it’s really done.”

The glare he gives you is halfhearted, and you grin as you take his place, lining up the shot and looking through the scope. If there’s one thing Nick Cowan did right by you, it was teaching you to shoot. But Joel’s words are not lost on you either. You take a deep breath in, then slowly let it out. You squeeze both hands around the gun, the barrel and the trigger, your touch gentle but firm. It’s not a far cry from the way you’ve held Joel.

Gentle. Steady. Nice and slow.

The kickback makes your shoulder rattle, but you stay firm, watching the shot through the scope.

Bullseye. Right in the middle of the ASSHOLE Ellie had scrawled out while Joel was making the target.

“Holy shit!” Ellie nearly screams, leaping to her feet. “Your wife is a better shot than you!”

Triumphant, you get to your feet, handing the rifle back to Joel, unable to wipe the grin from your face. “More practice, is all.”

Joel mutters under his breath as he slings the rifle over his shoulder. His annoyance is just as halfhearted as his glare had been. “C’mon, we should get goin’.”

He pulls you under his arm as you walk back to the horses, Ellie skipping ahead of you both.

“That was a lucky fuckin’ shot, baby.”

“You’re really never going to admit I’m a better shot than you?”

He buries his nose in your hair. “Just annoyed I’m not the one that taught you.”

You bark a laugh. “You taught me lots of other good things, Joel, don’t you worry.”

“I can hear you being gross!” Ellie shouts, and you both dissolve into laughter.

Ellie surprises you by asking Joel if she can ride with him for the next leg. His eyes flit to you after the words have passed her lips, and you give him a little nod, the corner of your mouth twitching.

The horses are sweet animals, letting you push them through most of the day, stopping once or twice to let them drink from the river while you and Joel stretch sore muscles. Ellie asks to practice shooting again, and while Joel refuses the first time, her second ask is granted. He asks you to show her the right stance for shooting a pistol, and you do, helping her with her grip while Joel sets up a new target.

She hits it bang-on this time.

You’re reluctant to stop to camp, only because you know every bone in your body is going to scream in protest against sleeping on the forest floor again after the ecstasy that was that mattress back in Jackson. Joel lets Ellie take the first watch, giving her your watch and insisting she wake him after three hours, which she agrees to.

You lay out the sleeping bags and try to make things as comfortable as possible, warmer when Joel joins you, wrapping an arm around your middle and pressing his nose into the back of your neck. It feels louder out here — in Jackson, you’d noticed how…normal it felt. More like the way things used to be than the fear and insanity that had run your life in Boston.

It felt like Austin, in truth. The way you’d felt in Joel’s house before you left. The calm and the quiet and the warmth.

“Joel?”

“Yeah, honey?”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Ellie’s questions start your third day out of Jackson, after you’ve re-saddled the horses and forced some sort of protein bar down Joel’s throat, your new routine of sorts. There’s instant coffee, blessedly, and you’re riding solo, Ellie having picked Joel once again. You’re not even remotely mad — the easy grin on his face is all you really need.

“So the way they ran stuff in Jackson, was that how things used to be?”

“No,” you answer before Joel can, shaking your head as the horses weave between the trees. “The country was too big for something like that.”

“Back then, there were basically two main ways of lookin’ at things,” Joel interjects. “Some people wanted to own everything, and some people didn’t want anyone to own anything at all.”

“Which one were you?” Ellie asks him, and your brow lifts.

“Neither, I just did my job,” he answers, and damn it all if that isn’t the most Joel Miller response possible.

“Which was…building?” Ellie asks. Campfire conversation has gotten increasingly honest between the three of you, and you can see Joel’s walls crumbling for Ellie. He answers almost anything she asks, and you return the honesty in kind, offering your own answers when Joel falls short. Family is still a subject you all tiptoe around, though Ellie’s gotten a bit out of Joel regarding him and Tommy growing up.

“That’s right,” Joel tells her with a nod. “Houses, stores, that kind of thing. We were called ‘contractors’.”

Ellie pauses a moment, and then her voice comes out low and gravelly. “The Contractor. That’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah,” Joel says, and you can see his jaw working to stop a grin from taking over his face. “We were cool. Everybody loved contractors.”

“Nice,” Ellie mumbles, and leans fully against Joel’s back, pressing her face between his shoulders. He doesn’t hide his smile then, glancing your way, and neither do you.

It all continues on, more of the same. You make it as far as possible when the sun is up, find a safe place to camp when the sun sets. You hadn’t been greedy with what you took from Jackson, but it’s enough to last you, to prevent you from needing to go scavenging. Not that there’s much left to scavenge.

Joel takes Ellie hunting one afternoon, when the horses have finally put their hooves down, as it were. They need a good rest, and you’re not opposed to it, your ass aching something fierce from the straight days of riding. They come back with a few rabbits and squirrels and Ellie has the most triumphant look on her face. Joel looks like he won the damn lottery, coming over and planting a hard kiss to your mouth, not pulling away until Ellie makes an exaggerated gagging sound.

“Okay, so if you mess up your fourth down, then you give the ball to the other team?”

“Right,” Joel nods. “It’s called a ‘turnover’.”

“Turn over. But, if you make it to ten yards, then you’re back to your first down?”

“Yep.”

“So, basically just moving in one direction.”

“Basically. But violent.”

You scoff a laugh.

“Oh,” Ellie mutters, her tone sarcastic. “Well, there’s that.”

It’s the tail end of the football explanation that has you reaching the I-25, just as Tommy had directed. “How ‘bout that?” Joel says as you come up beside him, tugging the reins to pull your horse to the same speed. “Made it in five days.”

“Easy days,” Ellie chimes in, her face popping up over Joel’s shoulder. “I don’t know what Tommy was so afraid of.”

“Still time to find out,” you say, glancing around as the horses slow to match pace. “It’s damn deserted out here, I’m not sure I wanna know what’s lurking.”

“I’ll tell you what’s lurking,” Ellie says, leaning around Joel with a grin on her face. “The Contractorrrrrr.”

You giggle and Joel rolls his eyes.

+

The closer you get to the university, the lighter the snow becomes. Grass and plants poke through the white, most of it melted away or just barely clinging on. It’s quiet, and Joel can’t quite tell if it’s a blessing or a curse. He can feel your unease from where you’re riding beside him, Ellie having switched saddles for the last leg of the journey.

He ignores the subtler pang in his chest at watching the two of you together. The way you automatically shift into protective mode when Ellie is near you is not lost on Joel; he knows he does the exact same thing. But watching it from afar, the conversation you’d had back in Jackson still echoing through his mind, it’s different.

As the buildings come into view, Joel’s heart sinks. It all looks just as rundown as the rest of the world, and though he knows that wouldn’t stop the Fireflies from setting up shop, he can’t ignore the way your unease increases, clearly on high alert as you make your way onto the campus.

“Home of the Big Horns,” Ellie reads as you pass the sign, weathered bricks covered in overgrowth, but not enough to block out the words. “What does that mean?”

“Team mascot,” Joel calls to her. “It’s a kind of sheep.”

Her head perks up from where she’d had it pressed to your shoulder blade. “Oh! See, Joel? One step closer to your dream.” You grin, but it doesn’t touch your eyes. “Don’t see any Fireflies, though.”

“They’re probably in the middle, if I had to guess,” you say, your gaze scanning the buildings and roads beyond the gate you’ve paused at. “Would be safer, farther from the main roads.”

“This way,” Joel gestures, nudging his heels into his horse’s belly.

You’re nearly silent as you get further and further into the campus grounds. The only sound is the occasional howl of the wind, the horses’ hooves clipping against the cobblestones.

“So these places,” Ellie breaks the quiet, “people would live here and like, what? Go to classes and stuff?”

“Yup,” Joel answers, glancing your way.

“Even though they were adults?”

“Sort-of adults,” you say, the corner of your lips turning up. “I definitely didn’t feel like an adult in college.”

“You went?” she asks, and you nod.

“Michigan State University,” you reply, and Ellie wrinkles her nose. “I wanted to be as far away from Texas as humanly possible.” Then your eyes shift to Joel. “Then I graduated and went back to Austin, and I never wanted to leave.”

Your words light a fire in his chest, warm and welcoming, just as they always do.

“What did you study?” Ellie asks.

“English lit, minored in business. And yes, all my classes were filled with very helpful information on surviving the apocalypse. I have the girls’ softball league to thank for my swing, but honestly, I think it was just as much about partying and finding yourself as anything else. Figuring out what you wanted to do with your life.”

“What you wanted to do with your life,” Ellie repeats with a laugh.

What do you want to do with your life?

The question manifests itself before Joel can stop it, between the warmth in his chest and your eyes on him, Ellie’s easy grin and all the conversations that have been had.

“I’ve been thinkin’,” he starts, and you reach back to swat Ellie when she mumbles ‘oh, here we go’. “I don’t want a sheep ranch, actually. I mean, if the deal is that I can do anything?”

Ellie perks up some, realizing that he’s carrying on the conversation she’d started around the fire what feels like forever ago. “That’s the deal.”

“Well, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a singer.”

Your jaw drops, surprise plain on your face, and Ellie laughs. “Shut up.”

“Why is that funny?” he asks, adjusting his grip on the rifle as the horses veer close to each other, Joel’s knee bumping yours. 

“You gotta sing something now,” she tells him.

“No.”

“C’mon, man, I’m not gonna laugh!”

“You’re already laughin’.”

“Yeah, okay, true.”

You glance at him sideways. “You know, in all the years I’ve known you, Joel Miller, I don’t think I have ever heard you sing. I’ve heard you hum, mind you, but never sing.”

He shrugs, feeling his cheeks heat. “It never came up.”

Your head drops back and you laugh. “I guess not.”

“Well, Joel, you’re singing for me later,” Ellie pipes in. “I’m gonna save the fuckin’ world, man. It’s the least you can do.”

You laugh again and Joel shoots Ellie a glare. “Fair enough.”

The horses continue forward, and high-pitched yelps make Joel’s shoulders tense. He sees your eyes cut to him for a moment before Ellie asks, “Are those monkeys?”

Sure enough, they are. Maybe a dozen of them, all yelping and scattering across the field before you. Joel deflates some, but the wariness doesn’t dissipate. “Must be from the old labs.”

“Look at ‘em go!”

“First time seein’ a monkey?” he asks Ellie, the corner of his mouth twitching.

“First time seein’ a monkey!” she echoes, and you huff a little laugh.

You keep moving, the sound of the horses’ hooves growing louder when you reach the mostly uncovered pathways, paved over but cracked to hell. You reach the place where the paths all intersect, a signpost standing in the middle, and you suck in a breath.

“Joel,” you call, and when he looks at you, you jut your chin back toward the signpost. “Look. Biomedical Sciences Building.”

There’s a yellow firefly painted on the sign, identical to the ones hidden all over the Boston QZ. There’s no mistaking it.

“Here we go,” Ellie mumbles, and you push the horses a little faster. Anxiety riots in Joel’s gut, and he can see it etched into your features when he steals a look in your direction.

You follow the signpost toward the medical building, and the field opens up, trees long dead from the cold lining the edges, and Ellie points out the two guard stations toward the building itself.

“But no guards,” you mutter, and Joel’s brow pulls down as he adjusts his grip on the rifle.

Ellie makes a wary noise behind you, and Joel sees your hand drop to her knee. “Get your gun out.” Your eyes skirt back to Joel’s as you pull your own from the holster on your thigh, and he gives you a nod.

It’s quiet. It’s too goddamn quiet.

You bring the horses to a stop between the guard stations, tying the reins to the tree that stands there. When you’re close enough, you reach for Joel’s hand, your skin frozen against his when he pulls off his gloves. Ellie comes up behind you, her gun held in both hands, and Joel pulls out his own pistol, swinging the rifle up onto his shoulder.

There’s another Firefly painted onto an overturned dumpster, and Joel can see the muscle in your jaw working as you walk past it.

Inside the building is less than promising. Papers are scattered on the floor, a few gurneys and stools cast on their sides. Your footsteps echo as you move through it, keeping close together. Ellie stops by a table that hadn’t been tipped over, runs her fingers over the instruments and test tubes and papers that litter the surface. “There were definitely doctors here.”

Joel opens the file folder on the table, scans the words scribbled there. Textiles, medical, ammunition, food/perishable…It goes on and on, and he realizes, “This is a packing list.”

Ellie’s brows shoot up. “They just left?”

Before you can answer, the sound of clanging metal echoes through the building, and you all look in the direction it came from.

“Maybe not all of them,” Ellie whispers, and you squeeze her arm, angling yourself in front of her as you look up toward the second floor.

“That came from upstairs,” you say, and Joel just nods, moving past you both and leading you toward the stairs. You’re sure to keep Ellie behind you, Joel checking the corners before signalling you to follow. The sound comes again, making you flinch, and Joel slips his free hand into yours.

Just as you reach the first door, the clanging echoes once more.

Joel lifts a hand to signal you to stop, and you step back, taking Ellie with you as Joel lifts his gun, his hand around the doorknob.

The door creaks as he pushes it inward, and a monkey with an old computer keyboard in its hands, the keys now scattered on the floor, screeches before taking off out the open window. As it goes, a few more scamper out the far window, metal clanging to the floor as they go.

You sigh, following Joel inside, and Ellie pushes past both of you, trying to get a better view.

“Well,” Joel mutters, reaching for your hand again, “at least it ain’t Clickers.”

“Yeah,” you agree, “but no Fireflies either.”

“Maybe in all that research, they turned into fucking monkeys,” Ellie quips, and Joel doesn’t miss the disdain in her voice.

This was supposed to be it. The endgame, mission completion, whatever they call it in those sci-fi books he never got into.

You step further into the room, releasing Joel’s hand to look at the desks, and he knows you’re looking for more Firefly symbols. He follows suit, picking his way around, avoiding the shattered glass and whatnot.

There’s a large corkboard along one wall, a map spread out and studded with thumbtacks. They’re in a pattern, of sorts. It looks like a route, the three different colours converging on—

“Salt Lake City,” you mutter, appearing at Joel’s side. He nods as Ellie appears, pointing at the spot with her gun.

“That’s where they went?”

“All the pins lead there,” Joel says. “Maybe gettin’ ahead of the weather, better facilities? I don’t know.”

“Then we need to—” you start, but cut yourself short, your head twitching toward the window, grabbing Joel’s arm in a death grip. “Get down.”

He does as you say, pulling Ellie down with him as you slink along the wall to the window, peering up and over the ledge. You’re all dead quiet, but Joel can see the fear in your face as you peer through the glass.

You hold up four fingers. Mouth the word. “Raiders.”

Joel tries to orient himself, figuring out the direction the staircase had led you. “They have the horses?” he whispers.

You shake your head, moving back toward them. Ellie stares between you. “What do we do?”

“Out the back,” Joel declares, grabbing your hand as you grab Ellie’s. He takes the lead, taking the stairs the opposite way and heading for the side door he’d spotted on the way in.

You crouch behind the piles of sandbags on either side of the door, both of you watching as Ellie tries to close the door as quietly as possible. The click makes you all wince, and Joel grits his teeth as you peer around the sandbags, trying to spot the raiders.

The horses are still where you left them.

“Quick,” Joel murmurs, and moves around the sandbags, acutely aware of the two of you following behind him as he reaches one of the guard stations. “Ready?” he asks you, and you nod, glancing at Ellie over your shoulder.

You sprint for the horses, Ellie unhooking the reins and handing one set to you as Joel puts the rifle in the saddlebag. She coos at the horse, trying to lead it away as you do the same, but then you freeze, staring over Joel’s shoulder.

“Joel!”

+

He’s got your fucking bat.

Your heart has simultaneously sunk into your toes and jumped into your throat as the man comes at Joel. He swings too high and Joel ducks low, and the bat cracks in half as it collides with the tree, the impact splintering the middle.

From the corner of your eye, you see Ellie lift her gun as Joel grabs the guy, shoving him back, away from the two of you. He swings his head back, slams it forward and into the man’s face, stunning him enough that he can adjust his grip, slinging his arm around his neck and pulling tight.

You put yourself in front of Ellie, pushing the horse’s reins into her hands as you lift your gun, pointing it past Joel. It’s quiet enough on campus for you to hear the man’s neck snap beneath Joel’s grip, and your gut roils with relief as his body thuds to the ground.

“Jesus Christ, we—”

You cut yourself short when Joel turns around. Behind you, Ellie lets out a quiet gasp.

No.

The handle of your bat, the broken end, is jammed into Joel’s stomach. Blood stains the edges of the green plaid, and Joel stares at you before dropping his gaze to the wood stuck in his body. Before you can stop him, he puts a hand against his stomach, closes his fingers around the handle, and yanks it out with a wet squelch. You can see just how jagged the end of the handle was, the splinters of wood where it snapped making the perfect makeshift weapon.

It falls to the ground at your feet, and his eyes move back up to yours again. You look away, movement catching your eye over his shoulder. “Ellie, get on the horse!” you shout, three figures sprinting toward you. “Now!”

Joel falters as you reach for him, pulling him toward the horses as Ellie clambers into one saddle. He shouts in pain as you push him up first, grabbing the reins and digging your boots into the horse’s belly.

“Go!” you shout, and Ellie obeys, taking off ahead of you. Joel flicks the reins, his hands bloody around the leather, and as the horse starts to gallop, you swing back, your gun aimed at the three raiders running for you. “Get back!”

They all drop at the gunshots, and you fire until the clip is empty.

Ellie looks back at you. “Go!” you shout again, and she does. Ellie just keeps going. You’re disoriented, no idea which direction you entered the campus from, or what direction you’re heading now. You reach the roads again eventually, and you’re far enough that you don’t think the raiders will catch up to you. You take a few turns, double back a few times to confuse the horses’ tracks in the snow.

Joel’s silent in the saddle. You fish a t-shirt out of one of the bags, fold it into something resembling a bandage and snake your arm around him, pressing the wad of fabric to his stomach. It makes him yelp in pain, the sound making your heart ache, but you have to do something.

You’re a week out from Jackson, and then some. You can’t double back now, Joel wouldn’t make it, he wouldn’t—

You push the thought away. Shove it into the farthest corner of your mind.

Eventually, you make it to train tracks. Train cars dot the station, long abandoned, and you don’t want to stay here long, if you can avoid it. There are too many places for people to hide.

Ellie brings her horse up right beside you, her face dripping with concern. “They’re not following us,” she tells you, glancing over her shoulder. “I think we’re safe.”

“Safe,” Joel repeats, and it’s the first word he’s said you took off. His weight sags against you, tipping backward, and you try to adjust your grip, digging your heels into the stirrups, but it’s no use. You both go tumbling out of the saddle, the earth hard and unforgiving as you hit the snow. Joel flops onto his back, his eyes fluttered shut, and you scramble upright as Ellie slides from her horse, leaving the pair of beasts standing on the train tracks.

“Joel?” you yelp, barely aware of the snow and dirt and rocks that broke your fall, now covering one side of your body. “Joel!”

No.

“Shit,” Ellie cries, moving to where you’ve fallen. She keeps talking, you think, but you can barely hear her.

This cannot be happening. Not like this.

“Joel?” you say again. He doesn’t move. You scan the length of him, see the spreading blood where the t-shirt has fallen away. You scramble for it, pressing it over his still-bleeding wound. “Joel. Joel, open your eyes.”

Ellie calls your name this time, her voice cracking on the syllable, and it brings you back to yourself. Your head snaps up, meeting her eyes where she’s crouched on the other side of him. “Fuck, Liv, is he dead? Is he gonna die? Oh god, we can’t fuckin’ do this without him, we’re fucked, we’re gonna die, we’re gonna—”

She cuts herself short, but her breathing is laboured, her eyes brimming with shiny tears as she stares down at him, her cheeks bright red in the cold. “Ellie, look at me,” you say, but she shakes her head.

“This is all my fault,” she says, reaching for Joel’s hand, moving it to put pressure on the wound. “He’s gonna die and it’s all my—” She sucks in a pained breath, tears sliding down her cheeks.

“Ellie,” you say again, and she finally looks at you, “Honey, I need you to calm down.”

“But I—” she starts, but another hard breath cuts her off.

“You need to breathe,” you say, surprised at how calm your voice sounds. “Listen to me. I know you’re scared. I’m scared, too.” You reach out and grab her hand, squeezing your fingers around hers. “But I can’t help him if I’m helping you. Breathe deep and breathe slow.”

She stares at you, and you take your own advice. Breathe in, breathe out. Rinse. Repeat. You cover Joel’s hand with your own, keeping pressure as best you can. Eventually, Ellie follows your example, breathing deeply. It shakes on the way out, but it’s something.

“Good,” you tell her, nodding. “Now, we have to figure out how to move him.” You lift your head, blinking back your own tears as you look around the train yard. Something catches your eye and you lift your free hand to point. “You see that shed over there? The covered one? I need you to go see if you can pull the tarp off, okay?”

On shaky legs, Ellie gets up, her eyes glued to Joel as she does. Her breath shakes again and you reach out and catch her wrist.

“Breathe, Ellie.”

You see it then, the change in her expression, the shift from fear to determination, and you know you need to find the same switch within yourself, but…You wait until her back is turned to let your tears fall. He’s warm beneath your hands as you brush your palm over his head, his hair soft and familiar against your skin.

No. Not like this.

“Joel Miller, you do not die today,” you tell him, lifting the t-shirt slightly. The fabric is nearly soaked through with his blood, and you wrack your brain for every bit of medical advice Deanna ever gave you. “You are not allowed, do you fucking hear me?”

Nothing.

Leaning down, you brush your lips against his, hoping for something, anything. You can hear the thump of his heart against his ribs, but he doesn’t so much as twitch. You glance in Ellie’s direction, seeing her back is still turned.

“Please, Joel. Please don’t leave me like this.”

PREV | NEXT

[starwberryshenanigans]

Let Me Choose You

some context: canon divergents where Callum doesn't forgive Rayla right away so she gives up and decides to leave again once Aaravos is dealt with. also rayla wears gloves to cover up her wounds from those two years

“You're leaving?!” Callum burst into Rayla’s tent in frustration. “What am I still just an inconvenience?! Am I just another liability?!”

All he can see is the back of her as she stays still. “Oh okay now you don’t want to talk” he says annoyed.

He waits for her to say something. Anything. To be able to understand why this was happening again. “Rayla please, say something! Give me an explanation. Give me a reason! You can’t just leave me here again to wonder what I did to make you go. What I did wrong to make you leave again!”

“I…” She starts to speak but suddenly goes quiet.

“What?! What is it?! What did I do?! Am I still not as strong as you?! Am I not strong enough?! Am I still too weak?!”

“YOU WERE NEVER WEAK!” she turned to him, sobbing. “I WAS WEAK. I WAS ALWAYS WEAK. I-” she pauses to try to hold back a sob. “I’m still weak.”

She hugs herself, squeezing tight. “I was too weak to let you be there for me, so I left. I was too weak to grow, so I survived.”

She paused and took a shuddered breath. “And I was too weak to stay away, so I came back.”

Callum grasped for words but could find none. She had come back as if nothing had happened. As if things would pick up how they had been when she left. He had thought she had not cared how she had hurt him. Now he knew she was just trying to act like she was fine.

“I hurt you when I left and I hurt when I came back. The one strong thing I can do is to leave you be. Let you live your life without me being here as a reminder of that pain I caused.”

“Rayla, no-” he tried to talk, but she cut him off.

“Do you see yourself? Do you see how much you have grown? How much have you changed? You're thriving. You learn so many more spells, you’ve read so many more books, You’ve lived. I thought maybe when I saw you again we… but I haven’t changed. I haven’t grown. I haven’t lived. I spent all that time surviving and searching just to end up with nothing. I threw it all away. My friends, my family...you. I made the choice but didn’t give you one. I wish I gave you a choice. I’m sorry Callum.”

He took a second, processing all she had kept to herself. Grateful for an apology yet worried for her.

“Rayla” he reached for her hands and paused when he felt how rough they were. He looked down, concerned when he saw the scars, the bruises, and the burns. “Are you okay?”

She snatched her hands back in fear and quickly started searching for her gloves without saying a word.

“Rayla?” he said more worried

“I’m fine” she responded firmly, moving across the room still searching.

“What happened?!” he asked in a panic

“It’s nothing!” she responded equally as panicked as she couldn’t find the gloves.

“No it’s not! You're hurt!” he responded getting more and more concerned.

“It’s fine, I’m fine!” She said, knocking over her bag and spilling the bandages on the floor.

“No, you're not!” trying to get her to see that.

“Yes, I am!” she yelled back, matching his tone. She stopped as she found the leather gloves that had fallen next to her old bandages. She put them on and showed Callum. “See, it’s fine.” She said defiantly. “My hands are fine, I’m fine everythings fine!” She said annoyed, ready to walk away until she felt him gently hold her hand, pleading her to stay.

“Rayla, please!” Callum begged. “You can’t just keep this to yourself. You can’t just pretend that nothing is wrong. You have to talk to someone. Talk to me!” She turned to him, but didn’t look him in the eyes.

“Sometimes things happen. Fires, fights, thorns. And sometimes you can’t escape them, sometimes they catch you at your weakest. Sometimes the fires burn, sometimes the thorns prick, and sometimes” she paused remembering that final fight back at the Scumport, and remembering that red scarf that had thrown her off, making her lose the final “you lose the fights.” She looked up at him and saw him look back at her, worry and guilt in his eyes. “It’s part of surviving. Part of making mistakes. Part of weaknesses.”

She really was surviving. Not being able to grow or live simply because she was just trying to find the means to make it to the next day. She was by herself, dealing with issues no one should have to face alone. He should have been there. He should have helped her.

“I wish-”

“No.” Rayla quickly cut him off. “This isn’t your fault. You couldn’t have done anything because I didn’t give you the choice. Don’t blame yourself for this.”

He knew this of course, but still wanted to be there for her. He held her hands again, worried if she had been dealing with the pain of the burns and cuts even now. “Does it still hurt?” he asked, concerned.

“Not really,” she said casually. “I mean sometimes the blisters bleed a little if I can’t let them heal properly” she added once she saw Callum’s look of suspicion.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Callum asked worriedly.

“You all have enough to worry about with Aaravos, I can handle a little pain” She said badly faking confidence in her voice.

“But you shouldn't,” Callum said firmly.

“It’s fine, Callum,” she said, annoyed. “I’m fine, I can be strong.”

“Why is that so important to you?!” he asked frustrated “Why do you care so much if you're strong or not?!” “

Because of this!” She ripped the glove off showing him her hand. “If you're not strong, you get hurt, and if you get hurt it leaves marks! Not just on your hands either! You see this?!” She pointed to a healing slit just above her left eye. “ A group of humans that weren’t so keen on a moonshadow elf sleeping by their village.” “Or this!” pointing to a noticeably large chip in her horn. “Fight with a banther after I picked the wrong cave to hide from the rain in!” “You have to be strong to survive out there by yourself!”

“If you hate it so much then why do you have to leave?! Why do you have to put yourself through that alone?!” He asked, confused. “What else is there?! I’m ghosted from my home, my parents are gone, and because of me I lost you!”

“You didn’t lose me!” he yelled. “You think you have to be strong, that you’ve think you’ve been weak this entire time but you’re still the strongest person I know! Rayla you fought and banther and survived. Do you realize how strong that is?! You’ve always been strong, with no break. So stop it! Stop being strong. Stop dealing with everything by yourself and let yourself be weak for once. You say you wish you would have let me have a choice but you're not now. Let me choose! Let me choose to take care of you. Let me choose to forgive you. Let me choose you.” He reached for her hands again, kissing the palm of her exposed, then taking off the glove of her other hand to kiss it too. “All of you.”

my first fic w over 1000 words?! guys is this improvement?? ngl i lowkey like this one the least out of mine cuz it lowkey seems cringey to me but its like that everytime i write so hopefully its actually decent also ive never written callum this mad and rayla this mentally not good so it lowkey reminds me of this meme

as always u can find my other (and better) fics here and on my ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62711884

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Dexter Headcanons: His Greatest Strength and Greatest Weakness (Dexter)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am here with another chapter! This one Dexter, but I feel crazy! Because I swear I did this one before and even made a video about it! But I DID NOT!?! Why do I have vivid memories of making a YouTube thumbnail for it two years ago? HUH!!! Anyways, That aside this is base Yandere Dexter headcanons! Please enjoy this!] 

(Disclaimer: Dexter is not yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who you are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon!) 

-Base Yandere Headcanons for Yandere Dexter From Dexter-

.Dexter is a very smart man that feels like he cannot relate to others. Since he most likely had something wrong with him since he was born. 

.So Dexter when he met you was shocked as he felt something he learned quickly that it was as close to love as he would ever feel. 

.Some could call it obsession but to him you made him feel things. Like how he felt with Rita and such but much more intense. 

.He is the type of yandee that would be the one to protect you and would still follow Hary's code. 

.Harry's code is one of the things that makes Dexter different from other psychopathic yanderes. 

.He does not kill rivals unless they are deserving of it, and his being jealous is not fully a reason for that 

.He has a code that he has with you as well, the love code. 

.This code is something that keeps him from stepping too far with you a deeming what is a good amount of watching over you. 

.He is aware if he oversteps this code then he is a creep and a stalker. 

.So he follows his love code very strictly. 

.He does not break into your home, he does not follow you on dates, and he does not push away your friends and family. 

.No instead, he gets you a security service. He does not get you a guard dog because dogs can tell there is something wrong with him. 

.If you had a pet I am sorry to say it will not be around long, no dexter would not kill it but it will have gotten lost from your home. 

.He would also steer you away from getting another furry friend. Although a cat might be allowed to stay if they trust him, dogs would never so they would have to go sadly. 

.He also researches the person you go on dates with just to make sure that you are safe and sound and he might manipulate you into thinking the person is creepy, he will find a way for you to break up with them.  .He gets close to you, your friends, and your family. Winning them and you over so that he can be with you. 

.He is very good at appearing like a normal person so you are never ever going to find out about his dark passenger. 

.When he is angry at a rival he does wish that he can change the code, just slightly. 

.But Dexter never breaks the code for his obsessive love which shows he is a yandere with so much control. 

.He with rivals gets you to leave them or blackmails them if he has fond dirt on them. 

.He is making sure that they do not and cannot be with you, with you rejecting them or them ghosting you. 

.The only times he sort of slips up is when someone is hurting or hurt you that is when that passenger peaks out and shows its dark side by threatening their lives. 

.He would not follow through on it, but he would make sure that they think he will so that the piece of shit does not try anything ever again. 

.He is a yandere that would not let you be hurt and would give his life to protect you. 

.He is the type of yandere that would eventually start to date you. 

.And yes you did accept his date and have been seeing him for some time. 

.He made sure to make himself appealing to you and win you over. 

.He has worries as a man and yandere if he is a good enough boyfriend for you, if he makes you feel loved enough if he shows you enough affection. 

.Dexter slowly learns in his own way how to care for you and love you once again in his own way. .Dexter shows fear that is real that he will end up hurting you and that he wants to never ever do that. 

.You make Dexter feel so many things that he would never felt without you. (in the show he does feel them with Rita to a degree)  

.But let's talk about his negative yandere traits because almost no yandere is perfect. 

.Other than getting rid of your pets and such he is the type of yandere that would try and isolate and manipulate from things he deems bad for you. 

.Which on the surface does not sound so bad, like he helps you quit bad habits, or he helps you stand up to your toxic boss. 

.The thing is Dexter can be a tiny tiny bit controlling. It is not even with bad intent, he just wants you to be safe and sound. 

.But to you you can feel how smothering it gets and how you just want to tell him to stop with the hovering and worrying and all the aaaaaaaghhhhhh. 

.This thing is he does not fully understand why it upsets you because he is so blinded by his yandere love that he does not notice how intense it is getting. 

.He really needs to take a step back at this point and thankfully he will realize just how too much he has become. 

. Fast forward a bit and you and Dexter have been dating for one to three years when he finally tells you that he loves you. 

.This is the first time he said it to anyone and he does mean it, it took him at least a year to be fully ready to say it to you. 

.Because at points he believed you would be fully better without him and safer too. 

.Anyways, if you accept his love his heart will swell and he actually might cry real tears for the first time just so happy and not understand how to process the new feelings. 

.If you turn him down he is good at faking it and he will say it is fine. 

.Honestly, even if you break up with him, he is not going to kidnap you, he is not going to make you stay with him. 

.He has his code and it lets him move on for the most part. 

.He would watch over you and still keep you safe. 

.He may even let you have a partner in the future. 

.He knows you are the only person he would ever love and he was fine with you not being with him as long as you are happy but if that person ever broke your heart and or hurt you?

.That might be the one thing that would make Dexter snap if someone betrayed you in such a way or if someone killed you. 

.To be honest, if someone killed you he would snap and forget the code. 

.After all his love for you is one of his biggest strengths but at the same time his obsession for you is his greatest weakness and threat to him. 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS this chapter is done! I hope that you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!] 

[desideriumwriter]

Anyone But You | Chapter 16

Summary: You really shouldn't have gone to Lee's party, you shouldn't have drank so much, you shouldn't have let your jealously take over, you shouldn't have let Fred see you at all that night.

WC: 1.9k

A/N: short but messy as HELL, sorry yall

Series Masterlist | F.W Masterlist | Previous | Next | Navi

Going to that party was a mistake, you knew it the second you walked through the doorway. You knew it the moment Alicia walked in, followed by a tall ginger boy. You knew it when the alcohol on the kitchen island began to feel like comfort.

Yet, you told yourself you weren’t going to let Fred’s presence ruin your night, like you had let it ruin your mood for years.

It wasn’t just Fred’s presence that was ruining it. It was the fact that Fred showed up to the party with someone. Another girl. A date. 

You had no idea if Alicia and Fred were together, you had no idea what their relationship status was. But whatever thing they seemed to have going on, it put a weird feeling in your stomach. An uneasy one.

It was that same feeling of envy that you had when you saw him and Angelina at the Yule Ball, the feeling that you tried to convince yourself it was caused by the envy of Fred having someone to take to the ball, and not the envy of someone having Fred.

That feeling would go ignored by you, pushed away and buried along with all the other intruding feelings Fred had made you feel.

After seeing them enter, you made it your mission to keep as far away from them as you could. 

You stayed with Angelina and Katie, drank, made awkward small talk, sat outside, talked to a random group of Hufflepuff kids outside, stood around, drank some more.

You were honestly quite content, maybe a little awkward, but you weren't completely miserable. The night had been going pretty good, there hadn’t been any issues at all. Yet.

Of course, until you split off from Angelina and Katie again. They both needed to use the bathroom and you promised you’d save their seats on the couch you were all sitting together on.

Angelina and Katie leaned against the hallway wall, stuck in the line of people that nearly wrapped around the corner.

“How long does it take for someone to piss, wash their hands, and go?”  Katie groaned, looking up and letting her head hit the wall. 

“Why don’t we just go to the bathroom upstairs?” Angelina suggested.

“Last I heard, a couple was getting busy in there.” Katie fake gagged and Angelina grimaced, her dramatic expression fell as she tilted her head over, being able to get a slight view of you waiting on the couch. Behind you, Fred and Alicia distanced away from you, talking to each other.

“You think Fred and Alicia actually have something going on?” Angelina said as she stared, Katie lazily looked over.

“Don’t know. I feel bad for Y/N though. She likes Fred, she just won’t admit it.” Katie sighed and shrugged.

“I wish she’d admit it, she says she's learned to tolerate him and George. But you don’t spend that much time thinking about someone unless you actually care about them, or what they’re doing.” Angelina tutted, “Besides, it seemed like Fred had eyes for her, at least for a moment. I don’t understand, Y/N was just starting to warm up to him. Now he’s off with Alicia.” Angelina shook her head disappointedly.

“Just how boys are. They’re always so confusing, always messing around, never truly clear about how they feel.” Katie inhaled, standing up as the line shuffled forward.

“You think they’ll ever get together? Y/N and Fred?” 

“Maybe. If Fred is clear about what he wants. And if she stops being so stubborn.”

Your leg bounced up and down as you waited, smushing yourself into the corner of the hard couch. Looking around the room at all the partygoers before your night was fucked.

A pair of girls that were unknowingly blocking your sight of the other side of the room moved to another spot in the house, revealing what they were covering.

Fred. Alicia. Sitting on the same chair and giggling at each other. Her sitting on his lap in the leather armchair. Her hand playing with a strand of his hair at the back of his neck. Their faces being way too close for comfort.

You could see Freds mouth moving, calling her a cute petname. It made you sick, seeing him use that term of endearment for someone. Someone that wasn’t you.

And that was your cue to leave. You needed to get out of there, away from them. You lost your friends in the sea of people that crowded the house, but you did find the kitchen, the overhead light shining down on the marble slab island covered with various bottles of alcohol and cups.

In that moment, the warmth of the alcohol going down your throat and into your stomach would be the only warmth you were going to get that night.

Then not soon after, you somehow ended up in a drinking challenge. It was between you and a random Ravenclaw boy, seeing which one of you could finish a row of shots quicker. Another attempt at a distraction.

You took shot after shot, slamming the glasses down on the counter as you beat the boy next to you. You were cheered and applauded by party goers surrounding the kitchen counter. The cheering and liquor made you so brave that eventually you picked up a bottle of fire whiskey and drank straight from it. The cheering grew louder.

Fred, of course, followed the noise with a smile, wanting to see which dumb kid was playing a drinking game now. Only to realize you were that dumb kid as he approached the crowd watching you chug down the liquor.

His face dropped as he saw you, his curious smile turning into a worried frown. You made eye contact with him as you put the now-half finished bottle down. 

Grimacing at the taste then smiling spitefully, raising your arms up in the air at the ovation you were getting. You moved your way through the crowd after taking a random beer can with you, giving high fives to other random drunk kids. You just wanted to get away from Fred. Again.

Yet Fred followed, he caught up and grabbed your shoulder, turning you around. You angrily stepped, more of a drunken stumble, away from his touch before taking another drink from your beer.

“Come on, put that down. You shouldn’t have anymore, you’re gonna drink yourself sick.” He said, taking the can from your hands.

“What are you? My fucking caretaker?” You spat at him, trying to take the drink back. He ended up chugging it, so you couldn’t take it back. You gawked at him.

“What the hell?- So I can’t drink but you can? What the hell is your problem?”

“I’m not the one who's going to have a splitting headache in the morning. I’m trying to keep you from making it worse.” He put the can down on a random side table.

“Whatever. Why don't you just leave me alone and go back to flirting with Spinnet?” You rolled your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“What are- Are you jealous?” Fred narrowed his eyes, sticking his head out at you.

“Oh that’s where we’re going now?” You let out a faux laugh, looking at him in disbelief. You weren’t really sure what made you, but you turned away and wobbled your way down the nearest empty hallway. Wanting to escape from Fred.

But of course, Fred with his long legs followed suit. You made your way into a random master bedroom and tried to slam the door right in his face.

“I’m not gonna have you walk away from the conversation.” Fred said as he pushed open the door, closing it behind him. “What is your problem?”

“What’s my problem? What the fuck is your problem? You go and act like you’re in love with me and then you go off and start messing around with another girl.” You spat out, poking your index finger into his shoulder before crossing your arms.

“Are you seri- You’re the one that kissed me!” Fred exclaimed, face full of confusion.

“Yeah? Well, you kissed me back!” You threw your arms up and turned your back to him. You knew your argument was going nowhere, this was pointless. 

“Well I’m sorry that for a moment I thought there could’ve been some sort of thing between us.”

“You keep- God- I can’t- You are so insufferable!” You shouted at him, the combination of the loudness of your voice and how close the two of you were made Fred flinch.

“Yeah. I could say the same about you.” He let out an angry breath, jaw clenching.

“Oh, fuck you!” You pushed Fred, your blood was hot and the effects of your were beginning to flow through you. 

“You always make me so…” You trailed off, eyes glossy as you stared at him with awe. Why was he always so pretty?

And in what felt like a flash, you were pulling onto his sweater vest and bringing his lips to yours. He grabbed onto the sides of your face and pushed back into the kiss.

It was messy, it was sloppy, it lasted longer than the last time. 

You both pulled back at the same time to finally breathe, your lips swollen and chests taking in deep breaths. His hands were still holding your face while yours were still holding onto his vest.

“What are we doing? What are you doing?” Fred sighed, clearly exhausted. “Why won’t you just admit you love me?”

"I don't want to love you." You swallowed, a shaky breath leaving you. 

"But you do." 

"I don't know if I do."

Fred dropped his hands to his sides, stepping back and leaning against the dresser behind him. He threw his head back, shaking it in disappointment.  Saying nothing, he headed for the door, you stopped him.

“Wait! I- please don’t leave.” You begged, grabbing his hand and pulling.

“Why are you doing this to me?” He drew out, punctuating the sentence using your name. “I don’t understand. You spend years hating my guts. You kiss me then you run away, you come back and want to be friends,” He paused, taking a second to rub a hand down his face. 

“Then you get mad when i’m hanging around another girl, you kiss me again and say you don’t want to love me, then beg me to stay? I don’t understand you, I really don’t.” He sighed.

I don’t understand myself either. You wished you could say, you stayed silent instead, lip quivering. Guilt burning a hole in your stomach.

“Why can’t you just come to your fucking senses?” He sighed, sounding and looking like a disappointed parent. He mumbled an apology, screwing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“I’m begging for you to make up your mind.” He added, bringing his hands up and then dropping them back at his sides.

You couldn’t say anything, the lump in your throat stopping you. You were clenching your jaw so hard you could break a tooth, trying to fight back any more tears from falling, though you failed. There was no point, you were at a loss. He was right.

“You shouldn’t be crying over me, you're wasting your tears.” Fred muttered as he swiftly walked out the room, shutting the door behind him. 

You let out a loud sob as you sat down on the bed behind you. Crying like a child while you raked your hands in your hair.

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[llamabois]

JUST SHUT UP AND KISS ME | Caleb One-shot

Synopsis: In which Caleb and you get into a fight, and have your first kiss instead.

Tags: hurt/comfort, yearning, angst, a bit of prose, unedited.

1.12k words (I think)

Part 2 of Shut Up and Let me Hit you. We love angry MC.

“You killed my Caleb.”

You knew how to cut him deep. It was you, only you who could leave invisible scars with the ghost of your smiles turning into frowns. Only your tongue could become a jagged knife that cut away the mask that he had learned to fasten securely.

Only you could tear away his defenses and leave him like an open wound.

It was always you.

And here you were looking down at him with those rebellious eyes filled with unshed tears and anger. His collar in your shaking fists, loosening for a moment, only to trace down to his tie.

“The Caleb in this uniform…I don't like it…” you said. Undoing his tie and buttons while he sat on the bed, he put his elbows up to keep himself in place while you trapped him under you.

His hands clenched.

“What are you doing?” He asked, stopping your hands from unbuttoning him any further. It was getting too dangerous.

“What does it look like? I'm taking this damn uniform off of you. I don't like it.” You said, trying to continue.

“Stop.”

“Why? Why can't I! If I could, I would burn this damn thing and never let you go back to that place!” You shout.

“You know I couldn't.”

“Shut up. You can. We can stop them if we try together. I'm a strong hunter, you know this, and i know the Hunters Association would be willing to listen—”

You try to come up with a plan or excuse but a calloused finger is pressed against your lips.

“You don't get it. There is no out. This is the only way to protect…”

You.

The words fell at the back of his throat. Still, you knew the end of that sentence, and it hurt.

“No, Caleb. It's you who doesn't get it.”

You get off of his lap and begin to pack the things left in your room. His purple eyes watching you open up the closet and drawers which stored the minimal clothes you had within them.

He gets up and approaches you as you clean out one of the drawers.

“What are you doing?”

“I'm leaving.” You say without looking at him

“Come on, pipsqueak. Please stop.” He said.

He reaches for your hand and you slap it away. “Don't pipsqueak me.”

You walk to the closet and begin to take out the clothes you had left in there.

There was a sort of sinking feeling within him. The sharpness of your gaze was something he had seen a few times in the past, whether it was at a bully, or at someone who had done you wrong, but not Caleb.

Never Caleb.

He calls out your name, which you ignore. “Please, talk to me.”

“Why should I? Why should I even bother? It's not like you'd care to listen anyway.”

“You know that's not true.”

“Then what is Caleb? What is something that is true, through all of the lies and conniving bullshit. What about you is real, or has ever been real?”

He stood in silence, his hands balled into fists. How could he tell you? How could he even fathom to express how every fiber of his being was unequivocally and irrevocably yours. That you were his north star and anchor point that tethered him to this world. That your smile was the sweetest thing he never owned.

How could he tell you that he wished he did?

“Tell me.” You said, getting closer to him, despite your position being closer to the wall.

“TELL ME!” You yelled, pushing his chest.

Caleb held your hand that pushed him and walked towards you.

Every step that he took left less and less space between you and the wall, and him. His eyes are stormy with unspoken emotions. It was the same kind of look that you could only catch on accident or in moments between you that left you in a position of hazy emotions and questions of what your relationship truly was. That look had always lived behind the kindness, it glinted a craving for something that he couldn't dare to ever touch.

“What do you want me to tell you?” He says in whispered tones. His grip on your hand, gentle yet firm. His gaze is heavy on you.

“Tell me anything. Tell me something that's real.” You say.

There is a moment of silence, the pouring rain, the only noise beyond your heartbeats and deep breaths.

“You're real.” He says. “You…are my universal truth. Every moment I spend with you is real.” He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, his finger tracing your cheek, then jaw, your chin.

He tilts your face up towards him, his eyes, lingering at your lips and your eyes. Your breaths blend together with proximity. The warmth of his dry lips stirs the craving you've always pretended to not acknowledge.

“Is that not enough?” He asks pleasingly.

It wasn't. And you knew this, but still everything in you held these words down and let loose the thoughts you locked away long ago.

“Tell me then…” You begin, your eyes lingering on his lips, while your free hand cups his face. “Is this moment real?”

He leans into your touch.

“If it isn't, I don't want to wake up.”

“Is my hand holding you, real?”

“Yes.” He says, bringing the hand that he held hostage and pressing them against his lips.

“Are your feelings for me real?

His eyes hold onto yours while squeezes your hand a bit.

“Yes.” He says, and it's a weight off both of your shoulders.

“Are your feelings for me…” he asks, but trails off. As if afraid of the answer he looks away.

Yet you don't let him run away. You tilt his head towards you, and press a chaste kiss onto his lips.

“Yes.” You say.

It was all he needed. His lips crash onto yours in a hateful craving. Exploring every inch of your lips until your breaths intermingle and become one. You throw your arms around him, hands in his hair.

He holds your waist, his hands traveling up and down your body. Both of you, lips magnetic as if you had no need for air.

Until you did.

You break away, huffed breaths between you, as Caleb rests his head in the crook of your neck. His now moistened lips ticking your skin.

“Was that real?” You ask, jokingly.

“Well…”His eyes meet yours in a mischievous way. Tilting your head towards him again with hunger in his eyes.

“I'd like to try again, just to make sure.”

—- END —-

[beef-brisket]

Adam sighed. What bullshit is this? He was here to get redeemed, but now he had to worry about some invisible force making him fuck Lucifer? Or will other residents be at risk?

He didn't know what was worse, fucking Lucifer or the possibility of fucking another resident. Adam shuddered thinking of fucking Alastor. Or Husk.

Angel would be fine, but... Nifty-.

Adam: Oh, fuck no. Seriously, man. The fuck was that? You're the Devil or whatever, surely you could stop this shit.

Lucifer eyed Adam for a moment. Especially his stomach: L-Look... I don't know- I couldn't do anything, included using my magic...

Adam sighed: So... you can't do anything NOW?

Lucifer: No... the magic or whatever it was is long gone. I can't stop what isn't here.

Adam: What bullshit... and if it happens again? What if we're eating dinner with everyone- or I'm in a fucking therapy session-.

Lucifer: If you touch my daughter, you're dead, Adam. I fucking mean it.

Adam rolled his eyes: Bitch, I don't fuck dykes. Or anyone at more than 8,000 years younger than me. I'm just saying that this shit could happen at any fucking time... what if... what if we're outside...

Lucifer shuddered: I don't know... we need to figure this out. And quick.

Adam: This shit sucks... fuck, I wish I was redeemed, then I wouldn't have to deal with this... and with you of all people.

Lucifer glared: What's wrong with me?!

Adam: What ISN'T wrong with you?! News flash, asshole, I fucking hate- dislike you. Charlie said hate is a strong word- not that that fucking matters. And you hate me, so you should be more pissed off about this than you are.

Lucifer: I-... I don't hate you-.

Adam rolled his eyes: Not this shit again, listen, we're not going over that shit again. We've got bigger things to worry about.

Lucifer sighed. There was no point in arguing with Adam. Lucifer had learned that the hard way.

Lucifer: Fine. You're right. Let's just... start with getting cleaned up.

As Lucifer lifted his hand, Adam threw a pillow at him.

Lucifer: What was that for?!

Adam: I'm showering, asshole! Don't you even think of just snapping me clean.

Lucifer sighed: And... what about there, uh... the... y'know... the... um-.

Adam: The what?! Dude, you're driving me nuts-!

Lucifer: The cum! What about the cum?!

Adam: ...What about it?!

Lucifer sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose: There's a lot- so, do you want it gone- before you shower? You... you shouldn't let it go down the drain. It'll block the drain- and with the amount inside you it'll definitely fuck the drains, and we'll have to replace it- are you okay?

Looking over to the first man, Lucifer chuckled as he covered his face with a pillow and groaned loudly.

Adam: Please, shut up...

VooDoo Do You

@beef-brisket I really want this one 😩

-

Alastor put the finishing touches on the voodoo dolls of Adam the first man and Lucifer the King of Hell. It has taken so long to make them this perfect.

Hair from their pillows, feathers from their wings, ....... Other DNA things that he wished he didn't have to touch. It was finally over.

So he picked them up and started twisting them to cause pain. Those two morons have been a pain in his ass long enough and it's time to get even. They weren't too far away so he should be able to hear if it's working.

But nothing happened, he teleported to where Adam and Lucifer were sitting on the couch talking and tried.

Still nothing.

The fuck!?

Nifty came up to him: Something wrong Alastor?

Alastor sighed and handed them to her, if nothing else she can just have them for her puppet show.

Alastor: Just wasting my time apparently Nifty. Here, go nuts.

He left and she was so happy! He gave her a gift of her favorite ship!

Nifty: Hehehehe

They started to glow and sparkle with green magic.

Nifty: Oooou, pretty.

-

Adam: And I'm telling you, waffles are good too. Those pockets? Holds all the syrup.

Lucifer: Hmm, maybe. I like pancakes more, you can fold them like a taco.

Adam stretched: And that is your opinion. Tacos are good though, pancakes would be good for like, sweet tacos.

Lucifer: With strawberries?

Adam: Duh.

They looked as green sparkles glittered around them, they exchanged glances.

Adam: The fuck is this?

Lucifer: ....... I'm not sure.

[addictt-with-a-pen]

I feel so stupid and lost, I ruin everything.

[primus-why]

I Feel TFOne Could've Handled This Better...

Hot take but I feel like folks have been really generous with the take that OP was unable to find ~the perfect words~ in the heat of the moment (and thus should be given some grace) when he told D to stand down and "not be like Sentinel"... namely cuz I don't feel that the narrative supports this?

Like-- after all is said and done, OP doesn't reflect on that part of their split. He doesn't have a moment where he seeks validation or voices his regrets over the choice of his words, it's actually cut-and-dry. The narrative (as it stands) supports that OP saw D-16 acting up, so he called him out and stood on business, down to the last scenes where he's basically like "yeah it's a shame but y'all knew I had to do it to 'em."

It didn't have to be much! I'm not saying to absolve Megs, just show OP looking at things from a different perspective/contemplating a bit on that tough choice and the morality of the moment. Some examples of what I wish we had:

B-127 straight up blurting the obvious by later chatting with Orion like, "Wait so you told your best friend that he was acting just as bad as the guy who enslaved us for our entire lives and was torturing him like an hour ago? Oof. Seems kinda harsh." Then have some of OP's regret show on his face.

OP asking Elita-1 after Megs is banished if he did the right thing. Have Elita back his choice up, saying, "You should have seen what he did after you were... gone. It was terrifying. I know it was tough, but you made the right call." OP is grateful for the support, but a conflicted look still flashes across his face before he steels himself to look out towards the horizon... and the future.

Have OP walk past other mechs/former miners who didn't go with the High Guard saying stuff like, "Wish I could've given Sentinel a piece of my mind!" "Yeah, but I'm glad he's gone for good." "Ugh I miss everything." "Oh, it was crazy! Megatron picked him up and then he rrrrriiipped-- oops, hey there, Mr. Optimus... Prime... sir?" And have OP wave hello, looking a bit sick when they leave.

Post-credits scene with Starscream going on and on, asking Megs when they'll be back to teach the upstart Prime a lesson. Megs grabs his face to shut him up. "Patience, Starscream. The Prime thinks I'm no better than Sentinel... but I'll show him. He wants Iacon? He can have it. In the meantime we'll take the rest of the planet! Then I'll come back, crush Prime under my heel, and we'll take Iacon too. Sentinel's reign will barely be a footnote, because I'm about to become Optimus Prime's worst nightmare." The vocal performance would really need to sell this-- like picture Megs saying something like that from a place of anger and hurt, not so much a place of genuine evil or malice.

Basically instead of Orion's assertion being backed up as black and white/good vs bad, I wish we had some different opinions/reactions from the characters sprinkled in there. Like you can't tell me out of allllll the miners who weren't strong enough/willing to go with the High Guard and ended up sticking around that NONE of them were like "eyyo honestly?? Kiiiiinda glad Sentinel is dead. Wish I could have helped, tbh." like come onnnnn...

And you can't even argue that he's not an active threat-- I don't think everyone would see things that way! It's not just about the threat he physically has, but the threat he represents and is very likely to act upon if given the opportunity! He has a proven track record of not only being sneaky and conniving, but also capable of dealing some serious damage/killing people bigger and stronger than him, plus he has the backing of the Quints. All he'd need to do is wriggle his way out of jail and run off to his sponsors, then he'd probably be back to hurt more people! (If the Quints didn't just kill him out of incompetence lmao). There's a lot of "ifs" here, but I think it's a valid argument that not everyone would agree on what is the right or wrong way to handle Sentinel once he was down long enough to, like, do something about him.

I feel the situation needed a bit of nuance. In some way I wish they had kicked the can and had D and Orion bicker while Sentinel escaped, then have D get frustrated enough by the loss of Sentinel to point fingers (and his fusion canon) at Orion, who then falls and becomes OP. (Megs could still show some of thar emotion/remorse right after he does it too.) Not only would this open the door for a sequel, but tbh the Quint might have just killed Sentinel anyways and sought to deal with the miners uprising themselves lol. (Maybe that could have been an after credits scenes too instead of the B-127 bit??)

Would love to see a moment in a sequel where they have a calmer moment after arguing for a bit. Have OP mention how Megs was out of line, that it hurt and even scared him to see him act that way, and Megs can quietly point out "you said I was as bad as Sentinel... is that really how you see me? After everything we went through?"

Then OP can fumble the bag again lmao like "D, I... I'm sorry, that didn't come out right... but you still took things way too far..."

"Why am I not surprised-- your opinion is what matters the most! Maybe that's why you became a Prime, since you're so good at acting like the world revolves around you--!"

*gets interrupted by someone else before another yelling match ensues*