#that’ll fix me
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caught the rona from the work convention i had to attend. about to throw myself out a window. ✌️
#everything hurts and i’m dying.gif#brb sleeping all week#someone send me tacos from the place up the street from me#that’ll fix me#personal
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I should take some cocaine probably
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done fuck-all all morning except be subjected to the horrors but it’s noon now so i am going to dye my hair a new colour (6.66) because i’m tired of my old colour (7.43) mellowing out to a dull brown
#intense scarlet red let’s see what you can do for me#randomness#still y’know ready to cry but hey#gonna listen to my murder podcast and change my look#that’ll fix me
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ah, I know what the problem is, I just need to get another tattoo
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i need a full body massage and all my dreams to come true
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I feel so stupid and lost, I ruin everything.
#I don’t know what to do at all#I have no idea#I wish I could just learn to let things go#I wish I didn’t have a heart that keeps breaking#I have been aching all day#I’ve felt sick all day#it’s been a struggle to breathe all day#today was absolutely miserable#and I doubt tomorrow will be any better#I don’t think I’m gonna get over this#someone come stab me in the throat#that’ll fix me#lol#…#personal#my post
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#I’m just having a rough series of days#I tell myself for like the 14th year in a row#I’m tired of a lot of things#I need to go sit in the ocean for a week#that’ll fix me#if I was a Pokémon my nature would be lonely 🙃#stupid stupid stupid#I’m so tired
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There’s not enough people talking about how important Stephanie is to Damian’s growth pre-Flashpoint.
Bruce had seen Damian as a beast to be tamed, Tim sees him as a ticking time bomb, and Dick is far better with him but he’s still an authority figure for Damian to combat with. But then he meets Stephanie, a college-aged girl who nobody trusts and he bullies her relentlessly and becomes inseparable from her.
She doesn’t interact with him based on his past, but on what she can see. This 10 year old just threatened to kill her? Wow he doesn’t get outside much. He’s not old enough to have seen Gremlins. What do you MEAN you’ve never been inside a bouncy house before we are fixing that immediately.
They are like cousins to each other. They poke fun at each other for being lame and stupid and Dick has to tell them both to shut up. She doesn’t see him as a project to be molded and redeemed, he’s just a kid with a crappy childhood like her and if he’s nice to her for 5 seconds she’ll do something with him to let him feel like a kid. And he doesn’t look at her and see a liability or a failure or a lost cause, like everyone she’s ever interacted with does. When he’s awful to her, it’s because he’s an obnoxious preteen boy.
And then you get the “there’s room in our line of work for hope, too” scene. Because Damian has gotten to know Steph and he can’t fathom why she’s here. She obviously has had to deal with crap and is still working through being kept on a leash by Nightwing and Oracle, but she isn’t broken like the rest of them are. Damian is surrounded by people who were molded and shaped and torn down and broken to become the monoliths that they are, and then there’s this girl who seems so at peace with herself and is constantly making quips, and it’s so foreign to him.
And she tells him that she’s in his world because she believes people are worth fighting for.
#Batman#damian wayne#stephanie brown#robin dc#batgirl#batgirl (2009)#Batfam#Batfamily#dc comics#batman meta#batgirl (2009) is my favorite comic I’ve ever read can you tell#I just love how Stephanie and Damian are so removed from everything when they’re together that there isn’t any hierarchy between them#they each have some sort of hierarchy and Expectation around literally everyone else#but with each other they’re just peers#they can work together and fight together#they can hate each other and be bickering the entire time#but they evaluate each other based on what they see#Damian sees a goofy but determined woman who doesn’t look at him like he needs fixing#and Stephanie sees a violent kid who clearly hasn’t had a childhood but is trustworthy in a fight#and they just. interact based on those factors and nothing else#and it’s so beautiful for them both#and you have the whole ‘fatgirl’ and ‘when did you start stuffing your suit’ comments from Damian that suck#but weirdly I find it comforting because it implies to me that Damian is feeling some stuff that’ll tie into puberty#and he lets himself (albeit in a very uncomfortable and harmful way) feel those emotions and express them to Steph#like it’s very stupid and so early 2000s and frustrating#but I think it’s a little charming how it’s another example of Stephanie sort of being a vessel for Damian to experience normal feelings#even if he ends up being very Damian about it
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✨NEW starscream zine’s now up!✈️
just a whole bunch of little comics and if that’s up your alley, give it a look!
Now on Ko-Fi! ☕️
#Starscream#Megatron#Skyfire#Transformers#Zine#woof that took longer than I thought#I should practice covers more so it doesn’t take me literally 5 hours to figure out where to place letters#gonna nap then read a typography book maybe that’ll fix me#lol anyway hope y’all like it!#it was a fun little project to do between commissions and whatnot and genuinely love to do more#Ko-Fi Shop
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*completely broken, burnt out, more depressed and hopeless than I've ever been* I just need to reread Gideon the Ninth….
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I need to brought out back and shot like a dog
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19.11.23, sunday
I listened to Succession soundtrack a lot today and had about the most productive day I’ve had in so so long
things done today:
7h of coding
went to my sister’s kid’s birthday party (mario theme 🍄)
#even tho during the first 4 hours it was me slowly realizing that I had configured/set up my one project wrong somehow#and I’m so far gone with it now that idk how to rly fix it other than starting again and trying to speedrun all I’ve done so far#aka the 50hours I’ve spent on it#but i’m hoping I’ll get it to function by just fucking around with adding some files & paths manually (i doubt that’ll work)#that’s a big yikes that I would not have time for#but I’ve done enough to get a grade out of that course but rn it’d be 3/5 and I want 5/5 bc it’s an easy course to get that from#and god knows I need to do everything in my power to raise my gpa#studyblr#bookblr#booklr#aesthetic#books#study#reading#read#book#dark academia#chaotic academia#november 2023#2023
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ough…. i feel pretty bad about my art right now…. i don’t post the majority of stuff i draw anyways but i might just stop posting art entirely for a little while in order to avoid the toxic social media death loop. i want to get back to fully feeling like i’m drawing for myself rather than drawing for an audience. i’m tired of social media 😭 i just need a little break
#i’ve got a whole kinktober planned out that i’ve already started working on that i wanna focus on#otherwise i am going to strictly draw the most self indulgent shit imaginable with the express goal of not posting it anywhere#and that’ll fix me#i’m also just in a phase where i feel like my art is lacking and i’m extremely self critical#and i want to get past that without feeling pressured to keep posting for an audience#so maybe if i post about it on tumblr i’ll feel better#yeehaws
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Watching Night At the Museum 3 again will fix me
#Save me beloved fictional character played by a 20 something year old rami malek in a glittering crop top save me#I like the third one a lot okay#It was the first one I ever saw actually#Night at the museum#natm#natm3#night at the museum: secret of the tomb#“That’ll fix me. And by that I mean. Heh. Well. Rewatching all three of the Night At the Museum movies.”
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When I’ve been drawing kink stuff it’s just I’ve been weirdly not-motivated to post anything,,,
It’s also just they’re all traditional sketches that I did for myself and I’m trying to get better about not feeling a need to post everything I do
#rambles#oh I’m gonna go try to eat a real meal for the first time in like over a week#so hopefully that’ll fix stuff#and make me feel a bit better
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I handled popping a tie-rod and almost losing my wheel in traffic on the way to work like a BOSS today! One might think I’m successfully cosplaying as a functional adult!
#I’m fine the car’s fine or at least getting fixed#but that’ll teach me to trust my instincts when there’s a feeling I don’t like in the vibes#my goodness today was exciting but I have lovely coworkers
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