Tumgik
#I wish I could do something better but I’m being stretched thin
starryluminary · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Quick edit of @n00dl3gal ‘s Kelsi! Very quick!! I promise I can do better than this but I’m strapped for time!!! I just love her a lot you don’t understand
53 notes · View notes
jisatsuwaifu · 6 days
Text
Life is incredibly frustrating, stressful, and exhausting. Everyday I think “it’s okay, it’ll get better, try again tomorrow” but it just keeps proving me wrong. When I think things are getting better and I can finally relax, something else comes along and puts me right back into panic mode. It’s always something, there’s never a break. I never feel safe. All I do is complain about how sad or frustrated I am and I’m sure everyone around me is sick of hearing it. Which is fine, I wouldn’t want to be surrounded by misery when my life is good either or listen to a broken record when there’s much better music to be heard. I am my own responsibility, I shouldn’t rely on others.
My thoughts consume me. Not in a cutesy I’m just a girl cringe kind of way but in a “I need to go to sleep as soon as possible to prevent an accident” because I cannot trust my own head to comfort me but to only make scenarios worse or feed into my paranoia. I am not built to be left alone. I constantly feel like I’m too much and not enough. I’ve never felt more loved but also so alone in all my life. Everything is black and white there is no grey areas with my mind.
I just don’t think anyone knows or understands how thin I’m being stretched and how badly I’d just love for everything to stop and to be able to catch my breath. Just for a day. I’ve cried for help but I don’t think the one person I need help from genuinely hears me. I dont trust many people to begin with. There’s only so much a single person can take before it starts to cripple them. And I know I can be over dramatic and too emotional at times but this genuinely feels like the end, I can’t see past this point in my life. And the sad part is I do not know how I got here. Or this far to begin with. But I am so tired. It’s times like these I wish I had my mom back or even just a family to lean on and seek advice from, but I can’t even entertain my own sister long enough to talk on the phone with me. I don’t understand why I exist or what my purpose is if all I’ve ever been exposed to is pain and abandonment. There’s some aspects of my life that I know I serve a purpose for and want to make proud, I’m trying my hardest for that one thing. I just don’t want to cause anymore damage than I already have. I can’t be like my mother.
I just needed somewhere to vent, some outlet. It won’t change anything. I feel hopeless and empty again. I might just delete everything. I don’t know.
The best I can do right now is try again tomorrow.
( if you read all of this thanks for listening to my rant and I’m sorry I wasted your time when you could have been scrolling onto something cooler like tiddies or anime idk but ty anyways <3 )
61 notes · View notes
cloverdaisies · 5 months
Text
# THE LOVE POTION
eric sohn x gn!reader/ collab! 007 files w/ @winterchimez
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
— “you must locate, befriend & kill agent sohn.”
description: the infamous english spy eric sohn! travels into europe searching for an encryption that serves as a communication link for the secret service rival spectre.. it’s sohn’s mission to retrieve the device and return it to safe hands.. however upon arrival his ultimate distraction is you, can you craft the perfect potion that will make 007 fall in love?
genre & warnings: from russia with love! 007 au! 60s au! love triangle! betrayal & romance! mentions of blood! violence! mentions of death/ killing! but no actual character deaths! cursing! alcohol consumption! mentions weapons! kissing & other mildly suggestive themes! pls lmk if i’ve missed anything!
word count: 6k+
a/n: dt: @sohnric happy belated birthday bar 🤍 wellll … what can i say???? this is overdue !! do excuse my hiatus & messy schedule.. i would like to say a massive thank to @winterchimez for inviting me to collab with you for this event !! it REALLY pushed me out of my comfort zone & throughly enjoyed perfecting this plot as much as i could as a big challenge.. sorry for being so late … 🤍 please do go check out the others work for this event which you can find here and enjoy!
Tumblr media
Devilishly you smiled to yourself in the mirror as you pulled on your white satin gloves and fastened a thin pearl necklace around your neck.
“Tea?” Your advisor of sorts, Sangyeon, suggested, gesturing a hand towards the teapot with a smile of generosity. “You’ve got a long week ahead, is it not better to relax now y/n?”
Sangyeon was a taller man, with darkish hair and buttery highlights that glimmered with sufficient light source. He wore a long black blazer with tailored trousers and a fitted white shirt to polish him perfectly. He’d been assigned to look over matters concerning your work, making sure you weren’t up to anything suspicious and meet your personal needs when required. Despite him being so helpful, there was something that irked you about his unwavering presence and constant eye over your activity.
Turning your neck ever so slightly, you grimaced letting out a small huff thinking of the mission you’d been proposed a little over the week ago by the organisation higher-ups.
“I suppose so. I mean…” You cleared your throat before chuckling quietly. “It’s going to be hard to fool one of the the top english spies, is it not? I’ve heard he’s a bit of a charmer. I can’t quite understand why I’ve been hired.”
“Quite so. He’s always got company you could say.” Sangyeon laughed in return, pouring the steaming hot tea from the pot with a gentle hand. “That being said, despite his charm you need to be incredibly careful not to reveal anything and stay on your guard at all times.”
“I always am. No man charms me. Id do anything for the mother country.” You reached out to grab the china teacup off it’s saucer and took it to your lips to sip.
“I definitely charm you, don’t I?” He retorted with a sly wink and a smile that stretched from ear to ear.
“Oh you wish.” You scoffed, placing the cup back down and shuddering at the comment before returning to the mirror to fix your appearance. “Besides, I have a dinner party at 8pm and I don’t need your loitering to be dampening my mood. Thank you for the pastries though, you should consider opening a bakery.”
“I’m glad you liked them. I’ll be back to escort you to your car then.” Sangyeon sighed, leaving the hotel suite with a soft close of the door.
꒰ა ˚₊ ✧・┈・╴﹕꒰ ᐢ📰☕️🎬ᐢ ꒱﹕╴・┈・𐑺 ‧₊˚໒꒱
In England, the sound of a melancholy low trumpet hummed over scene from a street player outside, fading into the open window of a grand office. It was almost sunset, the sky tinting a pale shade of orange amongst dark clouds.
“It’s been 2 days since the killing of that agent they masked as you and you’ve got 3 hours until that flight to Istanbul! Do you understand the consequences if you don’t retrieve that lektor Sohn? That cipher machine connects their entire military intelligence and you’re walking around with a blinking target on your head! ” M recited to Sohn, between his fingers a thick cigar emitting a cloud of heavy smoke.
M, the head of the British Secret service, was addressing what was the assassination attempt of Sohn at a British military facility earlier that week. Sohn had been giving a mission to retrieve a soviet device called the lektor, a cipher machine developed to connect communications.
“I’m very aware, I’ll play my cards right when I get there.” Sohn replied, his lips twisting into a sly smirk as he was being lectured by the higher up.
“Very well.” M sighed rising from his chair, leaving his cigar to rest in a glass dish before retrieving a brief case from the side of his desk. “In that case, there’s 20 rounds of ammunition, flat throwing knives and a 0.25 caliber, rifle that folds it has infrared sight. Use this when you need it and don’t let it out your sight.”
“Thank you very much.” His fingers wrapped around his crystal glass of whiskey, Eric took a sip before inspecting the case with a smug smile. “I best be off.”
꒰ა ˚₊ ✧・┈・╴﹕꒰ ᐢ📰☕️🎬ᐢ ꒱﹕╴・┈・𐑺 ‧₊˚໒꒱
As the evening settled in Istanbul, the dinner party had began not being invited to sit at the table yourself, you felt quite disappointed your importance in the operation had been significantly swept aside. Upon arrival you quickly recognized a ruddy faced man with a well kept moustache, his hair turning a dark grey with age and was smartly dressed in the cream suit that had been described to you by Sangyeon.
“Hello, I give my deepest apologies for interrupting your conversation. However, I must speak to you in private sir.” You gently tapped on the man’s shoulder, watching him jovially turn with attention.
“Very well, may I ask your name? What can I do for you?” The man answered almost like a store keeper with polite customer service, as if a mask of required kindness had been veiled over his face.
“I’m Y/N, L/N, former agent associated with spectre. I have quite the infatuation with Eric Sohn, I heard he was travelling to the country this evening and I was hoping I could help assist his duties.” You replied opening your eyes like an innocent fawn in attempts to convince your ‘pure’ intentions.
“What’s your interest with Mr. Sohn? How am I meant to trust your being genuine, Y/N, is it?” The head of the British Secret Service in Istanbul spoke softly to you as you chewed at your inner lips nervously. Politely observing your attire, his lips twisting into a curious smile.
Sticking to the script, you began. “I’d be willing to betray this country, for the man has me quite swooned. Therefore, if you would be ever so kind to introduce me to Eric Sohn himself, I’d be ever so grateful. It could get me killed if you tell any other soul.” You spoke eloquently, your demeanour slightly mischievous as you attempted to charm the gentleman.
“If that’s so. I’m sure he’d be happy to meet you.” He returned a smile , turning away from you likely to confront Eric about the matters. Your grin almost resembled that of the cheshire cat, deviously imagining the plans success.
“Aren’t you quite the actor?” The voice of Sangyeon behind you caused you to jolt in fear, in case it was one of the agents unaware of the mission assigned to you.
“You just scared the living day lights out of me, can you not just go jumping out of the shadows at me like that?” You brought your hand out to your chest and let out a sigh of relief.
“It’s what I’m trained to do sweetheart.” He chuckled, patting your head like a lost puppy before pacing himself around to the other side of you.
“Seems your plans going smoothly, you have someone approaching you, west.” He quickly pointed over to where Eric Sohn was with gentleman you spoke to earlier.
It came as no surprise to you that the man was incredibly handsome, his smile as he spoke to the other was just magical it served as almost a charm and worked on people like a spell. It was a smile that evoked emotions inexplicable, love, desire, a false sense of comfort that could easily be used as a weapon for betrayal. It was no wonder he was the most sought after member of the secret service in his country, his looks alone could turn his every target into his puppet. He was smartly dressed like described in a classic black tuxedo, a briefcase slotted into his right hand, his hair an enchanting shade of platinum blonde that emphasised his defined bone structure, a jawline so dangerous it could tear paper.
Almost choking on your previous words that no man could charm you, you gulped slightly, clearing your throat and fixing your posture as he approached.
“Allow me to introduce you to Y/N L/N who I’d briefly mentioned earlier.” The gentleman in the cream attire held out his hand to greet you, gently shaking it with a two hands.
“Hello y/n, I’m Eric Sohn. Its delightful to meet such a gem amongst all these people.” He leaned to great you with a polite kiss on the cheek, gently shaking your hand. Every feeling of morality in your body shuddered, nervously feeling the limbs in your body grow weak almost as if you were one flirtatious comment away from fainting.
“It’s such a divine pleasure to meet you too, I’ve been dying to finally get the chance to meet you in person. I’m such an admirer of you work.” You quickly gathered yourself together and carefully spoke with a soft velvety voice.
“Shall we go for a walk in the gardens?” Eric suggested, his eyebrow raising curiously as he also observed your attire and features.
“I’d be more than glad.” You responded as he held his arm out towards you to link, gently taking your arm and walking you out the grand marble doors.
The night was darker than usual, with a dull moon and stars that twinkled pathetically amongst thick clouds. However the bright lights that had been messily strung across the hedges lit up the the scene warmly. The sound of the blue piano being played from the inside faintly bled out into the garden along with indistinguishable chatter from guests up in the main hall.
“I must ask y/n, what gave you interest in the British Secret Service in the first place?” He began as you walked the side of the grounds arm in arm.
“Well… I felt as if my position in the country wasn’t appreciated enough. I don’t agree with their morale or treatment regarding myself.” You replied gracefully, glancing over to the tidy man. His presence radiated that of a tough masculine self assured nature. He looked at you with suspicion, allowing his guard to remain up like a fence.
“Well it’s in my best interest to not trust your intentions immediately, but I believe the information that resides with you is incredibly valuable to me and my mission.” He took a moment to take a breath before a cocky smirk crawled on to his lips. “Therefore, to test this loyalty of yours. I have to request a map, one of the military base that holds the lektor I’m after. Provide this and you earn my trust, sweetheart.”
You gulped for a moment, you had specifically been told not to leak any intelligence or assist him in anyway. You couldn’t foil his plans by providing a false map either, your hands were tied and even he knew that. Him and his manipulation tactics. He knew sly ways around people, you providing this map would mean surrendering all your loyalty to the secret service and despite having feelings inexplicable for the man beside you, you couldn’t give up what meant most to you. You had to figure out a plan.
“When do you want me to provide this to you?” You attempted the mask the fear that lingered in your throat, strangling your words with thick ropes that made you sound as if you’d seen several ghosts appear before you.
“Tonight, slip it behind the fourth pillar beside the stairs by 10 and I’ll soon be there to pick it up." He smiled, there was something sinister about his words as if he knew that it would be almost impossible for you to hatch a plan within that time.
“Very well, it will be there.” You took a breath momentarily, his warm touch departing you as he proceeded back into the large building. He turned back to you a last time, giving you a sly wink before going upstairs with a bright smile on his lips.
“Are you out of your damn mind? You are aware he’s drawing you right in his trap?” Sangyeon appeared from behind one of the pillars outside, having followed you around the entire time. “He’s not an idiot, he’s trapping you, you providing that map will lead him straight to his plan.”
“Then you best tell them to prepare.” You rolled your eyes, watching his serious dark eyes stare into your conscience. “If I don’t give him this, we lose all trust. He’s not an idiot but perhaps you are, now leave me be.”
You breezed past him, making sure to shoulder check him before making your way back into the hall with a bitter smile on your face. Going into the bathrooms on the left side of the building, you took a pen from your bag and began to map out a rough sketch of the secured military base housing the lektor Sohn was after. Folding it between your fingers, you left the bathroom, discreetly dropping it by the pillar he’d asked you too.
You grabbed a glass of prosecco from one of the many waiters dotted around the function room and joined Sangyeon’s friendly conversation with other associates. Nervously, your attention wavered from the bubbles appearing at the top of the champagne flute, to over your shoulder where Sohn was now making his way behind the pillar.
He walked around it as if he was daydreaming, picking the sheet of paper up and sliding it into his pocket. He gave you a brief smile before proceeding back to his gaggle of officials who’d be overseeing his work in the country.
“I think it’s home time for us.” Sangyeon closed the conversation with a sigh, placing a firm but soft hand on your shoulder. You smiled at the group of men in front of you, before slipping past them arm linked with Sangyeon.
“The officials aren’t pleased with you.” Sangyeon muttered through pursed lips. “However, they understand that you sincerely had no other choice."
"And? Are they preparing?" You replied raising one eyebrow cockily.
"They can't assign enough men to cover the base tomorrow. However if Sohn gets his hands on the device, which is unlikely, they're use as much forces as they can to retrieve it back." Sangyeon sighed at the seemingly idiotic plan, his rough palm wiping the illusion of sweat from his forehead and loosening his slim black tie as you elegantly slipped into the parked Mercedes.
꒰ა ˚₊ ✧・┈・╴﹕꒰ ᐢ📰☕️🎬ᐢ ꒱﹕╴・┈・𐑺 ‧₊˚໒꒱
The quiet hums of soft jazz fell across the café like a warm blanket, the scent of freshly brewed coffee and a plethora of pastries baked earlier that morning danced through the air as if it were a spritz of expensive perfume. Outside, rain fell like hail, beating the ground like drumbeats and forming puddles that resembled ponds or even lakes.
Upon first encounter it would seem that you had your nose stuck into an edition of wuthering heights your eyes flickering over the nonsensical words, so often turning a page with a dramatic sigh. However, the act of appearing busy wore you out like no other, your fingers rested on the right side of your face with impatient taps.
“Well… What a surprise to see you here!” An almost sarcastic voice sounded as the bell chimed over the café alerting you from the words on the page.
Your eyes snapped to Eric Sohn, neatly dressed as usual in a tuxedo with pin stripes, the outfit missing the blazer but tied together with a waistcoat. If you hadn’t been so stressed about the date, you would have fainted over his rolled up dress shirt that exposed his toned forearms. You would have been a mess, but that’s not the point at hand.
“Well yes, I do enjoy a morning read, you could say.” You smiled, almost grimacing at the script-like conversation. Finding yourself almost upset you had to talk to him that way, wishing you could genuinely talk to the man on a level that wasn’t inevitably leading to the utter destruction of betrayal.
“You seem like you’re away with the fairies this morning, what’s on your mind?” He sat beside you for a moment, his elbows rested on the table behind him. His face was just above your head, eyes looming over you suspiciously.
“I’m just worried.” You replied simply, packing your things into your bag with a short huff. Awaiting you both was Sohn’s plan to breach the military base that very afternoon.
“How so?” He chuckled almost, smile lines breaking out in his cheeks, his grin lighting up his every feature, helping you to climb down from the stool you’d sat on.
“Well, what happens if this doesn’t go to plan?” You looked him in his deep brown eyes that glistened so prettily under the warm lighting, his smile dampening quickly.
“In my way or yours?” He smirked cockily, turning from you to leave the café, briefly turning to check you were following. However, you stood frozen still, what does that mean? Your plan hadn’t worked? Your blood ran cold, he’d truly had you wrapped around his finger, he knew.
“Sorry? I’m not sure what you mean by that.” You laughed the situation off, watching as his pitiful smile broke again, an almost pathetic laugh escaping his lips.
“Don’t play dumb.” He rolled his eyes momentarily, grinning with a hint of mischief to his words. “You and I clearly have our differences. I don’t fall for this entire act you’ve got going on, sugar.”
You felt sweat forming in the palms of your hands, your lips begin to quiver slightly, whilst your tongue felt like it had been duct taped to the roof of your mouth. With a clenched jaw you chose silence, watching him smirk as you stared into the pitiful void in his eyes. His hand ran through the platinum blonde strands of his hair as he sighed, unable to contain his chuckles as he watched you drown in your own psychological mess.
“Instead of being confused, I think it would be more worth while considering siding with me. Why don’t we get you out of this mess of a life you live? You’re ordered around like dog and it’s not fit for a diamond like you.” He sighed pacing around you like a lion playing with its food. “I’ve taken a liking to your dedication, I can see you’re so badly trying to stay loyal to your work but there’s something else you can’t resist.”
You shuddered as his lips hovered over your ears, whispering words of temptation in the most insatiable manner. Your body still frozen in time had not moved an inch from the table you’d been sat at. Warmth rising to your features whilst your stomach rattled around like a brittle old machine in the dry cleaners.
“You know this too. I’m not trying to manipulate you as I have nothing else to gain from your companionship. However, I’m quite fond of you y/n. I think your intelligence is to be treated better.” He shrugged his eyes glistening in a way that presented his words as something genuine, something honest. His praise lit up fireworks in your system, you were on rich compliment away from detonating completely.
“I appreciate your words Mr. Sohn.” You began, clearing your throat gently before continuing. “However, I think you and I are destined to be opposed. I wish you well.”
You fiercely clutched your bag in the warmth of your hand, swiftly rushing to exit the sheer embarrassment of the situation. The once soft sound of harmonic trumpets now sounded like the chaotic thrill of elephants stampeding through the small confinements of the café. It was in no way complimented by the grating sound of a piano keys being smashed in a way that was neither melodic or enjoyable to listen to. Yet before you could grasp the golden handle of the door, you were beckoned back by the honey sweet sound of your name amongst the frightful waves.
“Y/n?” Eric who turned to face you a final time, smiled, not a classic smirk or sinister chuckle, a small smile that made his eyes resemble those of a harmless puppy. “Contact me, if you change your mind.”
You looked back with a blank expression, observing his relaxed demeanour with bitterness lingering heavy on your mind. A bitterness, a feeling of resentment, but what you would do to run away with him if you could. You’d be killed.
The sound of the café bell chime felt almost like the sound of a distant gunshot to Eric, at heart he knew he’d never be able to swoon you in the way he’d hoped. There was a small rose seed sewn into his heart especially for you, he himself resented the way you as intelligent as you were, could be used as shark bait and treated like no more than a sniffer dog. Unusual for him to grow such a soft spot considering you were the enemy in the equation. He sighed, clutching the briefcase he’d been gifted and headed out to do what he came here for in the first place.
The military base was fairly small, observing the blueprints you’d traced for him, his plan was fairly simple. The box-like building was connected to an underground train link, there was no service running for another half an hour, which gave him that much time to secure the lektor and catch the next train inbound.
A small ladder led up to a hatch secured in the bottom of the facility, gently he used his fingers to open it almost silently. Stupidly, the officials thought Sohn would blatantly try to enter the building through the main entrance, a line of armed men waiting behind the doors.
The operations room was a littered with different documents, weapons, machinery, cupboards the only option for Sohn was to scramble through every shelf hoping to find the device wherever it’d been temporarily hidden. Underneath a satin sheet, there was a black box that somehow resembled the demonstration he’d been shown of the device. However, as he opened the box an explosion of smoke popped causing his ears to ring as the distant sound of yelling was heard from the unmanned room. This couldn’t stop Eric, he calmly continued to rake through the drawers as the voices grew louder.
In the bottom drawer, was the box he was looking for, checking once to see that it was not another trap and the actual device. As he pulled it from its case, the sounds of shots hitting the wall behind him caused him to pull a small pistol from his blazer pocket. Shooting back at the guards, neither of them being able to see clearly through the smoke from the trap. Eric crawled to the hatch, lektor huddled close to his chest.
The honking of the steam engine down the tunnel relieved him as he fired up the hatch to warn the soldiers not to come down. With his back against the wall, the train narrowly passed by him with little space to leave. He elbowed one of the windows as it slowed on the tracks, hurling himself onboard one of the carriages. He quickly switched suits, and sealed the device in his briefcase as protocol before exiting the broken room on the carriage and proceeding to another.
A sigh of relief slipped his lips as he sat down with his briefcase beside him, he even decided to purchase a cup of tea for the journey and peacefully kicked his legs up to read a newspaper. At least for the first ten minutes, the sound of his cabin door sliding open alerted him to look up casually from the words on the page. He couldn’t quite explain who the man who stood at the door was, he was familiar but not a man he knew at least. He was dressed a long black tux with brownish hair, his eyes replicated those of fury, aggression, enough to alert Sohn at least.
“Hand it over.” Pulling a gun from the waistband of his tailored black trousers, his face remained blank as Sohn raised his hands in the air with a laugh.
“That’s not very friendly.” Eric tutted, standing up from his seat with the case laying on the seat behind him. As he observed him more carefully the identity of the man began to become less pixelated, funnily enough it’s as if everywhere Sohn went he saw a face like resembling the man in the crowd. “I’m not a fan of stalkers but I’m sure we could settle this with an autograph.”
The joke seemed to land terribly with the other male, his lips curling in disgust as he readjusted his finger over the trigger of the gun in his hand.
“Get over yourself.” The man sneered before looking Sohn directly in the eye with a cold stare. “Your plan is hardly turning out successful, poor y/n came crying to me about your twisted bullshit.”
“Ah yes, now I remember!” Sohn clasped his hands together beginning to pace the small room, the man’s gun latching target to his head. “You’re y/n’s little lap dog! That makes so much more sense, unrequited love, that must be hard for you buddy.”
Sohn’s words cut through him like a knife, the anger boiling through his veins as he struggled to keep his composure. The gun wavering only slightly as his lips pursed furiously.
“I’m more than that buddy.” The unnamed man laughed in a way that attempted to conceal his emotions but instead the line came out as no more than a high pitch croak. “Now hand it over before I turn your brain into several servings of spaghetti.”
“Sangyeon!” The sound of angry footsteps stomping through the corridor alerted the man, however he didn’t take his eyes off Sohn for a second.
“Listen, Sangyeon is it?” Sohn laughed, his voice sounding assertive despite the noise of the rattling train and noisy horns. “I think you better calm down, she won’t be happy with what you’re trying to do here.”
Sangyeon’s gun lowered, just to the point where it was out of sight of the narrow train passage but still somewhat aiming at Sohn.
“What is it?” He called, the relief of Sohn’s face when he saw yours outside of the window was golden. It would have been so tedious attempting to get out of the situation himself.
“I’ve been looking for you all bloody day! Now I found out you’re trying to leave the country? What are-”Your eyes originally blinking in red fury softened into bright pearls upon meeting Eric’s. Then all of a sudden they turned red again as you looked back to Sangyeon with increased suspicion. “Step away from the door.”
Surprisingly he did just that, revealing the gun that was pointed towards Sohn just out the hallway. Eric discreetly took the opportunity to assemble the weapon given to him as Sangyeon’s eyes focused on yours.
“There is no way, I’m letting you kill a man that’s not business to take care of.” You sighed, blocking the doorway and staring into the soulless void of eyes. “Leave here immediately. You’re only gonna end up hurt.”
“Y/N? Are you out of damn mind?” Sangyeon burst out into maniacal laughter almost resembling one of those villains from a popular comic book at the time. “I’ve spent years protecting you and you repay me by - I don’t know - falling in love with the enemy?”
“I am not in love with Mr. Sohn-” You refuted, the lies slipped from your tongue as denial spun its web around the pink mush of your brain. You couldn’t coherently finish the sentence without entering a spiral.
“Really?” Sangyeon eyes flickered with false confusion, his lips breaking out into a scary grin. “Then tell me why I can’t kill him?” He left a pause for you to fill in the space, but as your eyes darted around the room you realised that he was perhaps right. You couldn’t admit that but there was no reason to let Sohn get away with the device needed to connect the entire unions military operations. It was simply ridiculous.
“Thought so.” Sangyeon sighed. “It’s a shame you’d leave me with such a broken heart.” There was a glint of genuine pain in his eyes, underneath the tough exterior. He was always good at concealing his emotions, rarely showing them and acting as enthusiastic as a piece of cardboard most days.
“Leave.” You looked him in the eyes more seriously than you ever had before, you were of course furious with Sangyeon. However, you couldn’t watch him get hurt or at least die trying to defend a union that didn’t even value his work.
“I can’t do that. You know I can’t. You’re going to get us into a situation you don’t know consequences of.” Sangyeon spat his words firm, eyes bulging out of their sockets as if they were signalling your final warning. “I’d do anything to protect you y/n. Now let me.”
With that he pulled your arm out of the way of the door, only to reveal an Eric Sohn that was more than ready to pounce. Sohn tackled Sangyeon, wounding his arm but managing to throw his gun down the other end of the carriage. Sangyeon panicked, attempting to reach for Sohn before he could take your arm. He yelled out for you, the change in his voice causing you to whip your head around as Eric’s sprinting stopped.
“Y/N!! WAIT!” The agonising shriek ran cold through your bones, you gasped turning to the man as he rose from the ground. “Don’t leave. I serve no purpose without you.”
“I love you.”
The scene looked like a shakespearean tragedy, the two men on either side of the carriage looking at you expectantly. Sangyeon the tragic hero, the final villain to be defeated clinging to a last thread of hope that you’d take his hand and run away with him instead. Then on the other hand Sohn, a dream-like protagonist that had fallen in love with an enemy in battle, waiting to ride his horse into into the sunset. Your mind ran codes like a computer, processing your deepest desires battling the virus of conflict that had been hard-wired into your system.
“I can’t, but we will meet again Sangyeon.” You sighed, your love for Sangyeon was purely platonic, forced out of a system that took you for granted and fed you to the sharks. “Leave this line of work as soon as you can, you don’t deserve to be hurt this way. But I have to go.”
Tears welled at Sangyeon’s eyes for the first time in perhaps over a decade, he knew you were right, in fact he didn’t want you to be in danger anymore. Mature, as he always was, he knew your decision was ultimately the right answer. His love for you, was far greater than his selfish desires, but succumbing to your own was the best thing you could do. The only thing he necessarily cared about over his broken heart, was Sohn’s ability to keep you safe - he knew he would. As he clenched his fists watching you and Sohn run into the hills together he smiled, a chuckle leaving his lips, glad you had your happy ending.
“Where is he?” Asked a gaggle of soldiers boarding the train, their rifles over their chests as they marched down the carriage.
“I lost him.” Sangyeon replied, his lies convincing enough to deter the soldiers away from the area, as he weakly stepped off at the last stop of the train. It was a beautiful day outside, a beautiful place to announce his new beginning. He sighed, as he viewed the coast line from the train stop, maybe opening a bakery isn’t a bad idea after all.
꒰ა ˚₊ ✧・┈・╴﹕꒰ ᐢ📰☕️🎬ᐢ ꒱﹕╴・┈・𐑺 ‧₊˚໒꒱
“You ever visited here before?” Sohn asked, leaning across the canoe as he rowed down the streets, the sunshine lighting up his golden skin.
“Well, I’ve never left the country.” You chuckled, causing his face to light up in amusement as you admired the waters surrounding the city of Venice.
“I thought I’d ask, I’m glad I’m able to provide such a romantic spot for such a beauty like you.” He winked mischievously, laughing as you cringed at his advanced his eyes scrunching into crescent moons.
“Do I have to be worried about all this flirting Mr.Sohn? I’m not falling for any tricks.” Your eyes squinted at him suspiciously, propping your head in the palm of your hand as you leaned across the canoe.
“Well, if this is anything to settle your worries. I’m in a bit of trouble with M for accepting your side quest. He said to me a few years ago that if I let romance get in the way of my missions ever again, I’ll either get myself killed by it or even M himself.” He laughed thinking back to conversation. His eyes that sought out reminiscence in the distance then flickered to meet yours. “When I first met you, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep that promise.”
Melting into his words, you laughed as you felt the heat rise to your cheeks and the irresistible warmth of true love blossom in the pit of your stomach. As your eyes lingered on each others, you observed the beautiful nature of Sohn himself. He was etched in the model of a greek god, you finally validated yourself for falling into his trap, perhaps the love potion you were casting accidentally splashed yourself. For a few moments, Sohn hesitated, leaning closer to you for a moment as you froze. Your brain almost completely malfunctioned as he smiled, lifting your chin with the palm of his hand. Finally pressing your lips to his you smiled to yourself, as the sun began to set in Venice, the once blue sky-line was painted like a canvas with the most vibrant shades oranges and pinks.
Despite your mission abhorrently failing, the feeling of true love and freedom was the most successful ending your desolate heart could have asked for.
Besides, the love potion seemed to be successful.. Eric certainly seemed smitten as your words fell on his ears like sugar, as you talked the past and other interesting things about yourself. Venice seemed like the perfect place to forget your lives, forget how you met and fall in love all over again.
fin. — “you will locate, befriend and fall in love with agent Sohn.”
90 notes · View notes
freesia-writes · 3 months
Text
Ch 14: Blossoming
Tumblr media
~ Master List ~ Previous Chapter ~ WC: 3.5k
.
Hunter took a deep breath, sinking deeper into the plush L-shaped couch in the corner of Tech and Phee’s living room, trying to tune out their excited chatter as they bent over the glowing blossom from the cave. They were huddled at their dinner table, datapads and records scattered everywhere, and they were deep in thought and theory as they considered all of the possibilities of its significance. Lyra shifted her feet where they lay crossed on the large ottoman, tilting her head sideways against the tall cushion behind her to gaze at Hunter, who noticed immediately and glanced in her direction.
They’d both been thoroughly interrogated by Tech upon recounting their adventure, with some interjections of awe and curiosity from Phee, and both felt entirely spent, realizing they should have slept in more if they were to be subjected to an afternoon of this. But upon gathering enough information to be satisfied, if only temporarily, Tech and Phee had dismissed them to the living room in favor of a thorough examination of the flower, requiring them to stand by in case they were needed for a cave visit later. 
“Did you manage to sleep at all?” Lyra asked Hunter, who nodded slowly. “How?!” she pressed, having been unable to stop replaying all that had happened, still not entirely sure that the whole thing wasn’t just a dream. 
“I’ve seen a lot of weird stuff in my life,” he shrugged, stretching his own legs out across the ottoman. “No point in dwelling on it when there’s nothing to be done.”
“Well that sounds just fine and dandy,” she chuckled. “I wish I could turn my brain off.”
“I’m sure Tech could come up with something for that.”
“Ah, yeah… I’m not quite that desperate.”
“Smart choice.”
They gazed at each other for a moment longer, then at the floor, the window, their feet… anywhere to take a break from the magnetic pull they felt. Hunter was picking up on an odd combination of anxiety and comfort from Lyra, although he wondered if he was also projecting what he himself felt and was unable to reconcile. There was an inexplicable sensation of not knowing what to do with himself and yet still feeling some kind of compulsion, all while being deeply content in her presence. Attempting to push the thoughts from his mind, he rose to his feet, ambling to the dining table where Phee was carefully holding the petals apart as Tech scanned each one with his datapad.
“Having fun?” Hunter asked, resting a hand on the back of Tech’s chair.
“I am not sure I would classify it as–”
“Yes,” Phee interjected, grinning at Tech, who gave her a thin-lipped yet harmless look at her interruption. 
“Yes, you may call it fun,” he conceded, turning his luminous eyes on Hunter. “This is a remarkable piece of flora. Did you look at it closely?”
“Not really,” Hunter shook his head.
“There are runes along the edge of each petal that are nearly indecipherable to the naked eye, but we have been able to magnify and analyze them after a methodical scanning process.”
“And?”
“And they appear to be either some sort of language native to Xylo or an ancient form of communication that is no longer utilized in any modern database. Therefore, their meaning will continue to elude us until we are able to make sense of the patterns and strokes.”
“You couldn’t have given us a better gift,” Phee laughed, dragging her finger from one side of her datapad screen to the other, where she had organized the runes and was running various trials on them. 
“Indeed,” Tech agreed, eyes glimmering behind his yellow lenses. “With our unique experiences and expertise in this area, we are truly the most terrific team to be tackling such a task.”
“Ooh, alliteration,” Phee said in delight. “He really is excited.”
“Alright, well… Do you need us anymore?” Hunter asked, feeling decidedly “other” between the two of them.
“No,” Tech said bluntly, and Phee gave him a little bump on the elbow. “What?”
“What he means to say is ‘thank you for this fascinating project, and if you would like to get some more rest or have some time to yourselves, we will be in touch if we have any further questions,’” she filled in, and the light sound of Lyra’s laugh from the couch behind brought a small grin to Hunter’s face. “Although I still want to check out that cave.” 
“I’d be willing to bet it’s all closed up again like it was the first time we were in it, but I gave Tech the coordinates, so maybe the two of you can have another hot date when you get tired of this.”
“I find it unlikely for this to become tiresome in the immediate future.”
“Got it. Well have fun,” he said, turning back to the living room to see Lyra on her feet, pulling her bag onto her shoulder, ready to follow him out the door.
They wandered along the path toward The Forest, where both of their houses lay nestled near its edge. Lyra’s was much lower, close to the sea on a large, flat field that ended with a cliff overlooking the ocean, while Hunter’s was up near the school, tucked into a much more densely-wooded area. Both were east of town, so they walked together until they reached the split in the road, turning to face each other for a moment.
“Does crazy stuff always happen around you?” she asked abruptly, and he chuckled after a beat. 
“It used to,” he admitted, a heaviness suddenly apparent in his smoky voice. “I was hoping that here it would be different.” The weight of his words hung between them, leaving her unsure of how to proceed. 
“Well,” she attempted, absently pulling her hair into a low ponytail as the wind picked up, “I’m not really one for adventure… But… That was pretty cool.” She smiled, the admiration clear on her face, and he took a deep breath, standing a little taller. 
“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he offered, zipping up his jacket. “Hope it didn’t terrify you too much.”
“It would have if you hadn’t been there,” she blurted out, flushing with embarrassment at her admission. He looked down, hiding the curl at the corners of his lips, and tucked his hands into his pockets. 
“I vote we stick to more domestic activities next time.”
“Yes!” she agreed emphatically, “Like bed!” Both of their eyebrows shot up, and they stared at each other in surprise. “I mean! Wait,” Lyra backpedaled, her husky voice growing higher in pitch as she realized her insinuation. “Not bed together, heh, but bed… Like you wanted to go to bed. So… That kind of bed. Your bed. And my bed…” She slapped her forehead with her palm, shaking her head with a miserable smile on her face. Finally, she looked up at him with a clarity that rarely appeared in her self-conscious demeanor, “I need to stop saying the word ‘bed’,” she laughed, “And I don’t know why this keeps happening around you.”
“At least Echo isn’t here to make us miserable this time,” Hunter attempted, shoulders lowering a little at her sigh of relief. He smiled, inexplicably relieved that he wasn’t the only one who had difficulty in social situations, and then he offered his hand to her, which she took in the most awkward and randomly-executed handshake ever.
“I’ll see you soon,” Lyra said quickly, taking her hand back and turning toward the lower path. 
“See you soon,” Hunter echoed, watching her for a moment before beginning his trek up the hill.
* * * 
Tumblr media
.
The scent of a fireplace filled Hunter’s nose as he strolled into the clearing where his cabin and Wrecker’s stood at right angles from each other, and a lazy tendril of smoke curled gracefully into the foggy sky, welcoming him home with a twist before disappearing. Birds chirped in the branches nearby, and Wrecker’s booming laugh echoed from within the walls up ahead. Kicking his boots off inside the door, Hunter was pleased to see Omega and Wrecker having a blast over some small tabletop game that involved small rocks and levers, and had he been intentionally quiet, they likely wouldn’t have noticed his appearance. 
“Hunter!” Omega exclaimed happily, giving him a wave before rushing her hands back to her little wooden levers. “I got the engineering internship!” she announced, unable to tear her eyes from the game.
“Her first choice!” Wrecker yelled, oblivious to his volume because of his jubilant pride at her accomplishment.
“That’s great, kid.” Hunter said, hanging his jacket up in the entryway and joining them at the table, in the sturdy wooden chair closest to the roaring fire. “When did you find out?”
“This morning, when you were still sleeping,” she poked, sending him a playfully accusatory glance. “You were out laaaate last night, eh?”
“Yeah, Lyra and I found some weird flower in a cave,” he said quickly, peeved by how much he suddenly felt like a child under parental scrutiny. 
“Is that what they’re calling it these days?” Omega kept a straight face despite Wrecker’s delighted guffaw, both glancing at Hunter, whose dumbfounded expression gave them another round of chuckles. 
“Calling what, exactly?”
“Oh, come on, Hunter,” the girl teased, “Just because you were created in a lab doesn’t mean that’s where everyone comes from. You see, sometimes two people come together…”
“Don’t, Omega!” Wrecker interjected gleefully, “I don’t think he’s ready for that yet.”
“Good grief,” Hunter groaned, “You’re making me miss getting shot at.”
“I’m sure Crosshair wouldn’t mind some practice,” his brother cajoled. There was no reply, just a dejected shake of the head from the former Sergeant who wasn’t sure how or when he’d become the butt of everyone’s jokes. 
“Alright, Omega, let’s hear more about the internship,” he said, anxious to talk about literally anything else. 
“It’s going to be a whole month!” she exclaimed, flipping one of her wooden catapults to launch a rock toward the small cups on Wrecker’s side. “And it’s with a small cohort of engineers and mechanics over on Plata, where they’ve developed a whole new method of conducting energy to provide backup power for ships and buildings.” 
“Plata, eh?” Hunter murmured, painfully aware of his complete inability to “protect” her from elements of a civilian world that he himself wasn’t well-versed in either. 
“I know,” Omega nodded, wrinkling her nose at Wrecker’s next lever pull. “It’s going to be a lot of fun and a lot of work. I just can’t believe I got in there! Only two other students got it. I’ll have to thank Lyra this week – she helped me with so many details on the applications. I’ll bet that’s why.”
“She may have helped, but you did all the interviews and work around them,” Hunter reassured, heart warming at the reminder of Lyra’s charitable nature. “So… when do you leave?”
“Next week!”
“Looks like it’s just you and me, boss,” Wrecker said, heaving a huge, dramatic sign as Omega landed her final rock. 
“Good,” Hunter grinned. “We can finish the project.”
“We haven’t even started the project!” Wrecker exclaimed.
“What project?” Omega asked, glancing curiously from one clone to the other.
“I know,” Hunter said, ignoring her for a moment. “But a month should be plenty of time.”
“I’ve got other stuff to do, you know!” Wrecker complained. 
“I’m just really looking forward to spending this time with you,” Hunter jabbed, happy for someone else to be under fire for a change.
“Alright, alright.”
“What project?” Omega repeated, squinting suspiciously at each of them in turn.
“You’ll see.”
* * * 
The rest of the week passed by in relative peace and quiet. Tech and Phee had indeed ventured to the cave and found it as unremarkable as it was impenetrable, so they resolved to continue their investigation at home. A few successful morning hunts created plenty of work at the butcher shop, and Omega was becoming more and more insistent that she didn’t need to be escorted to school and back. Wrecker took on a few more construction endeavors, and Echo reminded both Crosshair and Hunter that the first day of his self-defense workshop was approaching. They also received a stern lecture that they were expected to stick to the plan, with no surprises, otherwise “he would turn Luciana loose on them”, a threat that was met with chagrined eyerolls all around. 
Lyra was notably sparse, visiting Hunter’s shop only once, and he had a gnawing sense of insecurity, wondering if he’d unknowingly done something to alienate her. But it was continually pushed to the back of his mind as he busied himself with work and preparation for Echo’s class, spending any remaining time at home with Omega before her departure.
The defense workshop day arrived, and Hunter and Crosshair found themselves standing in the field of the Training Academy, both wearing athletic pants and jackets. It was a cool day, but the chilly wind was mercifully still, freeing them the need from extra layers. There was a decent crowd of attendees, all radiating an eagerness that should have been encouraging, but Hunter found himself looking forward to it being over. He’d been working extra hard all week up until that morning, when he’d gotten up early to see Omega off at the port, and he felt an odd sense of despondency for no reason in particular. He yearned for some quiet and solitude, having missed the semi-regular walks in the woods due to an increased workload, but also didn’t find the idea of being alone with his thoughts something to rush toward.
“Alright, everyone listen up!” Echo announced, launching into an explanation about the benefits of preparedness and the various scenarios they would cover that day. He introduced the first exercise, pointing to Hunter and Crosshair to demonstrate, and after they’d modeled a fairly basic way to escape a two-handed choke hold, the participants were partnered up to practice. The clones wandered among the students, pointing out adjustments here and there, and Hunter felt as though he were in a daze, going through the halfhearted motions with Crosshair for the thirteenth time. A few people arrived late, causing some people to shift partners as Echo reviewed the skill they were currently practicing. 
“Hey Hunter,” he called, beckoning from the edge of the crowd. “I need to partner you up since we have an odd number of people now.”
“He’s just saving you from me,” Crosshair hissed with a smug grin as Hunter trotted away, coming to a rather startled halt next to Echo as he saw who stood in front of him. 
“Lyra here seems to be without a partner all of a sudden,” Echo said with bulletproof nonchalance. “Would you mind going through the drills with her? We want to make sure every student is well-prepared.” Hunter stared into Echo’s impassive face, brown eyes meeting gray with an entire conversation communicated in an instant.
“You’re unbelievable,” Hunter muttered, stifling the urge to roll his eyes as Echo’s expression grew shocked and innocent. He turned to Lyra, who had a tiny, shy grin of her own, and his face softened slightly. “Did he put you up to this?”
“He may have shared all the benefits of being thoroughly capable of defending myself in any situation,” she admitted, turning to smile at Echo, who had magically disappeared. “Yes, he told me to come,” she whispered to Hunter, clasping her hands awkwardly in front of her. “But you don’t have to be my partner if you have other stuff to do.”
“No, let’s see what you’ve got,” he said, spirits lifting a tad as he squared up to her, readying to practice the last move of a quick twist of the wrist, but Echo’s commanding voice broke apart the sparring partners. 
“Alright, moving on to the next one!” he yelled, pointing at Crosshair who had come to stand in front of him. “This is called a Rear Hold Defense, and is highly useful when you’re grabbed unexpectedly from behind…”
“You might need this one to protect yourself from the office ladies if they get any more courageous,” Lyra murmured, and Hunter snorted aloud in gleeful surprise. Echo gave him a stern look from beneath sharp brows before continuing.
“The trick is to make yourself as much like an uncooperative loth-cat as possible. When you try to hang onto one…” he said, having thrown both arms around Crosshair, who immediately twisted and dropped to the ground out of reach, “...you find it very difficult.”
Crosshair rose to his feet, brushing himself off, and gave Hunter a grin across the clearing. Hunter sighed.
“You really don’t have to–” Lyra said, rubbing the back of her neck timidly. “I can wait, or just watch, or join another pair…” Hunter searched her face, trying to discern if she didn’t want him to, was too self-conscious, was trying to do what she thought he wanted, or some weird combination of all of them. 
“Do you not want me to?” he asked plainly, watching her shift from one foot to the other in her sweatshirt and sweatpants. “Just don’t tell Echo, or I might get fired from this non-paid position for not ‘ensuring that each student is well-prepared’,” he chuckled, feeling more and more lighthearted by the minute. Something about her mousy, demure shyness paired with the fact that she had indeed come to the class made him happier than he was willing to admit, and he saw a little spark in her eye for a split second. 
“Well… I’d hate to get you in trouble,” she said quietly, turning around and crossing her arms across her front to allow him to practice the move. “So we’d better do as we’re told.” Hunter grinned, stepping behind her and ignoring the slight increase in his heart rate. 
“You’re not being put into a coffin, you know,” he chuckled, nodding at her odd position.
“Well what am I supposed to do with my hands?” she said indignantly, a little embarrassed by his good-natured ribbing.
“Just act normal.”
“I don’t know what normal–” she began, cut off by his sudden grasp from behind. His arms wrapped firmly around her middle, below where her own had been loosely held together like some kind of deformed T-rex, and she gasped in surprise. 
“Come on, get out of it,” Hunter breathed in her ear, and she shivered before stumbling a few steps backward in utter shock. They teetered back and forth for a few seconds as she made a few feeble attempts in different directions, turning slightly within his hold but making absolutely no progress toward any semblance of freedom. 
“You’re making it a lot harder than he made it look,” she panted, squirming until her shoulder was in his chest, but his arms were still firmly fastened around her, just beneath her elbows. Her heavy breaths and racing pulse grew louder as she continued to struggle, and he didn’t see how red her cheeks had become until she threw her head sideways to face him, a mixture of insult and anger on her face. It was so sharp and uncharacteristic that his eyes widened in surprise, again struck by that pang of fear of crossing a line somewhere. 
It was then that she dropped like a stone, allowing her legs to buckle completely to throw her full weight to the ground, and his momentary distraction cost him dearly as he pitched forward with his hands still locked around her. They toppled to the ground, a flailing pile of arms and legs, and he scrambled to break his fall to avoid crashing on top of her with his full weight. She collapsed onto her side, throwing an arm up instinctively, but he landed on all fours, with a hand splayed on the grass on either side of her head and his knees framing her legs. They froze in shock for a second, staring at one another as though they’d just defied death itself, then Hunter clambered to his feet, so completely befuddled that Lyra was left to get up on her own.
“Nice job, Lyra,” Echo said, appearing out of nowhere. He turned to Hunter, clicking his tongue beneath stern brows. “As for you, please stop trying to mount the students.”
“Oh for kriff’s sake,” he began, but Echo silenced him with a held-up scomp before casually heading back to the front of the group. “Agh, sorry,” Hunter exclaimed, seeing Lyra brushing herself off nearby. “I didn’t mean to just leave you there.”
“Well I didn’t mean to throw us to the ground, so…”
“But hey, you got out,” he said, searching for anything to move past the awkwardness. “So… nice job.”
“Thanks… But… I… uh… I think I’m gonna need some more practice,” Lyra said quietly, slowly meeting his surprised gaze and delighting him with her sudden candor.
“Oh yeah?” he murmured, a small smile creeping onto his face without his permission. 
“For safety…” she said assuredly, turning away from him again with the tiniest hint of coyness and crossing her arms across her chest. 
“For safety,” he echoed, pressing his lips together as he took position behind her.
.
Previous Chapter ~ Master List ~ Next Chapter
Tumblr media
Join the tag list by commenting for the discord server link or filling out my form.
@lightwise @littlemissmanga @dystopicjumpsuit @523rdrebel
@solstraalaa @skellymom @photogirl894 @youreababboon @anything-forourmoony
@reader6898 @moonstrider9904 @hipwell @lamiliani @catoo
@ilarria @padawancat97 @yve-barr @lucyysthings @flowered-bicycles
@maddiedrmr @techhasmjolnir @arctrooper69 @spicy-clones @ezras-left-thumb
@cw80831 @dreamie411 @meagmcc12 @waytoooldforthis78 @hunter-lvr
@baddest-batchers @yunggoblin @sweeticedtea @imperfectxprincess @ivyyyyy
@callsign-denmark @leotawrites @carlislecullensadilf @ivyyyyy
@thetechturn @burningnerdchild @galaxyofthoughts99
46 notes · View notes
helluva-simper · 5 months
Text
Drugs
Word count: 1k
TW!: drug use, 18+, suggestive content, cussing, violence. Minors DNI
              Valentino walked into his penthouse, the main color of the room being a red and dark pink with an occasional blue and purple. He sits on the couch turning on the TV. He leaned towards the table to grab the cigarette box but when he opened it, nothing was in it. “Voxxy!? Where did I put my extra cigarettes?!” 
Valentino gets up and looks around the living room as Vox yells, “I don’t Fucking know! You probably used them all since you smoke them like there’s no tomorrow!” Valentino audibly groans. 
Vox walks into the room and laughs at Valentino’s look of despair. “You look so stupid, Val. Can’t you just smoke something else to control the bitches.” He asked, carrying his “fuck Alastor cup.” in a blue robe. “I could but those are my favorite.” Valentino whines as Vox sighs. “So… Voxxy baby~... can you do me a favor and watch over the club while I’m gone.” “No. I’m incredibly too busy to deal with your bullshit.” Vox said.
“Come on~. I’ll pay you back. And I promise you won’t regret it.” Valentino said, running his fingers down the side of Vox's TV screen. Vox groans as he pushes his hands away. “Val, I said-” “You don’t even have to stay long. Just need you to make sure everything is going smoothly.” Valentino says grabbing his phone about to call someone to pick him up already knowing that he has won. “Ugh, fine.” Vox walks away drinking whatever was in his cup. Valentino was off to see you.
You were a bee demon that went by the name of ‘Hunne’. You were a popular and wealthy demon by selling a product called “Honey buns” since it was originally supposed to be in food but… eh… you just thought that drugs would be better. It was a drug that could make you feel like you could fly or make you feel completely relaxed depending on how much you take. It was in all forms: pills, powder, cigarettes, and that was why Valentino was taking the time out of his day to drive to the other side of Hell.
He walks in to see you smoking your own stuff. “Hunne, baby, how ya been?” Valentino said walking to the counter almost scrunching his nose at how strong the smell of smoke was near you. “Tino, haven’t seen you in a hot minute. Ran out of my stuff?” You asked, putting your cigarette in the ashtray in front of you. 
You had black and yellow stripes all over your skin, your hair was messy and was covering your face barely able to see through your hair to see your fully black eyes. You were quite skinny and frail with boney fingers that had long, black nails. When you spoke, you would make a buzzing noise.
“Sadly so, but I also came to see my favorite stoner.” Valentino said, having a toothy grin resting his upper left arm on the table. “Of course, Tino. Now…” You stretch out your thin arm and open your hand. He digs inside his robe and pulls out his wallet giving you the money. You smile, taking it and putting it in a lock box behind you. 
As you bend down, Valentino wolf whistles looking up and down at your body. Even though you were very scrawny, Valentino found it very interesting. How easy it would be to dominate you, break you. But if he wasn’t your best customer, you would have shot him with the gun you had in the box as well. So, you just let him wish.
“You know, you would make a wonderful assistant~.” Valentino suggested with a smug look. You stood up and grabbed a vial from inside a cabinet as you said, “Maybe in the next Hell.”
Valentino had a specific type of cigarette that he always requested. It had a vibrant red color and had a chemical that, without the right protection, would make anyone other than him incredibly high, that’s why you wore gloves and a mask.
Valentino rolls out his tongue letting his saliva drip into the small tube. When it was full he said, “I would like to see how my little worker bee does their job.” “I prefer for you to stay outside.” You answered walking to the backroom door. As you did, he walked to you. 
He puts his lower arms on your hips and the upper on your shoulders. “Baby, come on~ I won’t touch anything… unless it’s you~.” He purrs in your ear. Since you knew that you were too weak to fight an overlord, you just turned around, dug out his wallet, feeling his bare chest sending chills down his spine, pulled out his wallet, and took out 2 $100 bills.
“You drive a hard bargain, my sweet.” He spoke. “If you don’t take your dick holding hands off me, I will not make your drugs.” You said firmly. Valentino pulls his hands away and holds them up, surrendering. 
When Valentino backed away, you opened the door. The room was almost pitch black with a very dim orange light. A visible black smoke filled the room, making Valentino choke. “Fucking hell! How do you work or even breathe in here?!” Valentino said, waving his hand around. You just shrugged. 
The same way a bee collects pollen, your hair always had pollen in it, the only difference was that you didn’t need to taste good. You always being in an enclosed room while smoking tainted the pollen being the main ingredient. When it’s mixed with Valentino’s saliva well… you’ll be so high you might attempt to fly off the Vee’s tower.
You walk to a giant mixing machine and put the two ingredients in it.  You put the time for 3 ½ minutes and started it.  As it mixed you walked over to a table and grabbed the lighter and cigarette from it then lit the cigarette. Valentino watched your every move with a growing idea. 
Valentino walks to you taking the cigarette out of your hand. “What the fuck man?!” You exclaimed, reaching for it but you were too weak to move the hand that was pushing you back. He wrapped his hand around your chin and pulled your face to his. He took a drag, pulled down your mask, and blew it in your face. Being the addict you were, you instantly inhale the smoke. “Give… give it back.” You muttered trying to pull away but he didn’t let go. 
“So, Hunne, baby~. May I know why you have to wear all this protection?” Valentino asked. He didn't really didn't need to though since he already knew. You had told him the first few months he started requesting his special drug. He just want to hear your own voice say it.
            You stayed silent, not replying to his question trying to step away but used his lower arms to keep you in place. Valentino tales another drag watching you breathe it in like you needed it, like it was oxygen.
             “Come on, baby~. I just need you to say a sentence or two. Can be too hard, right?” He spoke backing you up into the wall. You were terrifide. Yeah, you being his favorite drug dealer let you know that he wasn't gonna kill you… somewhat but him towering over you like that was making you feel uncomfortable.
            Before you could tell him to go fuck himself, he pushed himself against you and moved your chin up allowing him to unravel his tongue around your neck. Your breathing stopped.
            What was this smell? God, it was intoxicating making your vision blur. You felt like you had just stopped thinking. Valentino could see the break on your face. He kissed you and you didn't fight back, didn't even think about it (as if you could). He sild his tongue inside, exploring, making the effects of the chemical worse.
            Valentino, his voice deep and breathy, whispered in your ear, “Perhaps the drugs can wait… can't they?” The only response he got was incoherent noises which made him smirk. “Till then, just be a good little “Hunne” bee and let Daddy do what he does best.”
After reading all this comment "WNTBT" (We need therapy big time) in the comments and I'll be paying for your therapy
Tag
@rerarlo
@kadegravy -my fav Stoner
87 notes · View notes
jolapeno · 1 year
Text
just some personal thoughts and a ramble. but also like sharing in case this is in any way relatable.
tw: anxiety under the cut
like anxiety is a weird thing.
I’ve had it for so long it’s like almost who I am. so things that sound worrying to others, feels almost normal. but then there’s sometimes where I find it surprises me.
for the last couple of weeks, more so, (but months, truthfully), I’ve had a rotten time. I’ve tried very much to keep things consistent in several places in my life—something I know not everyone is able to do, and I’ve been fortunate to do this time around. this wasn’t for show or anything, but rather because consistencies help me.
but now as I step through the mist of it all, it’s the little things I’m noticing that I’ve been left with. like I was consistent, but I wasn’t doing things to the best of what I could do, by being so stretched thin. and this crushing guilt is what I’m left with, y’know? for so many things.
like before my anxiety felt like I’d been engulfed by a sheet (like someone has thrown it over my head). blinded, rendered entirely useless.
and now it’s a cape tied around my neck. it tightens periodically, but mainly it’s just there, blowing behind me—kinda there, but kinda not. I can feel it, but it’s not so easily seen. and normally, it’s a thing in my pocket, and I’m wondering if it’ll ever fold up that small again for a while, or if this is the best it’ll be.
because of this, my body is now looking for something to be anxious about, because it’s spent so long being anxious, it’s now become a muscle memory. I finish work, get home, and relax and relax—then boom, mini anxiety attack? like, what? how is that fair 😂
then it’s the way that i keep replaying the last two months. feeling so much guilt, and even if I felt guilty before for things (being a bad friend, not being consistent enough) it feels like it was in black and white. but now it’s in colour!?
I’m able to see all the things I’ve not managed to do, the ways I’ve kept people at arms length in all aspects of my life. the way I’ve not answered truthfully when asked things. left now wondering and worrying if I can get things back with the people I let slip. feeling like I didn’t do enough, but also knowing I had nothing else to give.
because I tried to hold all the strings, but I know there are some I’ve let go of and I can’t place what they are. can’t find them. like there’s no trace of them.
but, I feel better. like I do. I feel like I can think, without being underwater. I can feel things somewhat at a normal level. but at the same time, I also now aware and can see the absolute mess I’ve left in my wake by the anxiety spiralling out and unsettling so many things. it had tunnel vision’d me, but now I can see it all, and I’m like well fuck, this is…. a lot. that whole time was a lot.
and now it’s this weird moment of just half wondering if i shoulda woulda coulda, while also just standing there going, wow, and taking a moment to pause.
because I’ve spent such a long time just trying to get from a to b each day, that now I feel a bit aimless.
I don’t really know why I wanted to share this, I just began writing it and didn’t want to write it from a reader or anything like normal. just wanted to be jo for a minute, be honest, be a bit vulnerable.
cause it feels lonely feeling like this, but I don’t envision I’m alone in feeling it. which is both comforting and makes me sad, cause I’d never wish anyone to feel like this or experience it, ever.
y’know?
33 notes · View notes
thrawns-backrest · 27 days
Text
Is it wip Wednesday?? Do I even do wip Wednesdays?? who knows lol, but anyway here's a little prologue to a fic I'm working on. I should be working on the main plot of my au but I keep getting distracted by the siren call of more minor original characters
@random-user753 because there's a cameo I think you'll find entertaining and @russiandeathcup since we talked about these two particular gents
____
“Lieutenant Dross, perform a life-form scan on quadrant 4B. Make sure to include microsentients.”
And there it was.
Ult braced for impact.
“Lieutenant Dross?” A note of impatience entered that neutral voice and Ult swiveled his head ever so slightly to get a better view. Like him, all eyes on the bridge had landed on poor Lieutenant Cogg, currently sweating in Emilien’s seat.
The awkward silence was broken by an equally awkward cough.
“Uhm, Lieutenant Dross is unavailable, sir. Medical leave.” The young man supplied clumsily. “I’m his temporary replacement.”
Ult watched as the Admiral’s face spasmed again, almost like he couldn’t comprehend the situation.
Normally their buckets weren’t well suited for distinguishing subtler emotions. There was a special setting, made for interrogation and manhunts, that allegedly ameliorated the issue – another fancy feature the tech devs prided themselves on, ignoring the fact that it was there to account for an existing flaw – but Ult couldn’t say he saw the difference. He didn’t need a setting though, to identify how their Admiral currently felt.
“And how, pray tell, did that come to be?” Tohm bit out.
“Food poisoning, sir.” Someone else piped up, coming to Cogg’s rescue. “We suspect our recent landfall at Moruna had something to do with it.”
Another frown twisted that bisected mouth. Ult watched it settle and sour on the young admiral’s face, coming dangerously close to petulance. Their CO had always been good at improvisation tactics. Ult doubted there was anyone in the navy who could react to a situation faster and more efficiently than their fledgling leader. However, when it came to his own tools, and not their enemies, he rather hated having anything out of order or out of place.
Tohm liked having the most nimble men as his chief sensor officer. That was Emilien. And certainly not Cogg. It probably didn’t help that Cogg’s seat was on the admiral’s blind side, making the news all the more insulting on delivery.
The air on the bridge thinned as the crew took a collective breath, wrestling with the rising tension, before something seemed to give and snap back into place.
“Very well,” Tohm sighed, clearly struggling with the compromise. “Tell Lieutenant Dross I wish him a swift recovery. And proceed with the scan.”
“Quadrant 4B, sir?”
“Yes, quadrant 4B.”
May the Force, or whatever else was out there, be with that kid.
Letting himself relax, Ult shifted his stance into something slightly more comfortable. Whatever annoyance the Admiral felt, it seemed to be directed at Cogg and not a certain someone else.
From the corner of his eye he caught Virgossi react to the admiral’s words with an approving nod and resisted shaking his own head. The next hour of his shift was spent watching Cogg blunder through his orders while Tohm practiced some advanced form of an exercise in self-control. At the very least it served to relieve some of the habitual boredom that came with a bridge shift.
Being relieved of his post still came as a relief though and he relished the opportunity to stretch his legs for the next couple of hours on patrol. Still boring but unfortunately he couldn’t afford to complain, not without losing face.
One of the few downsides of the orange piece of plastoid strapped to his shoulder.
It was eighteen hundred standard when his shift finally ended and could head off to do what he’d intended to since getting up that morning. The joys of a twelve hour work day. Flexing his shoulders and adopting a more leisurely pace, he headed for the barracks where he dropped off his rank insignia and opted for a more compact side arm – he didn’t bother changing into his uniform, he never saw the point of it – and set a new course for the ship’s med bay a good distance away, deciding to stop by at the mess on his way there.
Somehow, he reflected as he dived back into the shiny low-ceilinged corridors, the most essential parts of the ship always ended up closer to the officers’ quarters and not the men’s barracks. Mess hall, med bay, food stores… escape pods. Go figure.
On his way there a particular tremor traveled up the soles of his boots and he surmised that the ship was in the process of maneuvering. Probably turning away from the asteroid field to angle back towards hyperspace.
Earlier, during his patrol, he’d felt the faint ghostly reverberations of the overhead laser cannons, signaling two discharges. That was the sound he’d struggled the most with identifying when he’d first started serving on the ship. It manifested as more of a mechanical whirr than a powerful blast as it made its way down the walls of the ship, turning into a low vibration by the time it reached the upper internal levels.
If the ship didn’t make the jump to hyperspace in the next few hours, it would probably stay to patrol the system for a few days before taking up its new assignment.
Ult almost sympathized with the pirates whose base had warranted those two powerful blasts. There was a high possibility they’d find nothing when they arrived here, guided only by rumors, but apparently they’d been lucky.
He almost wished he’d been on the bridge to see it, even if there wasn’t much to see, truth be told. The screens of the men who fired those blasts looked like a hologame, a rather blandly designed one, and the destruction was usually so far away you’d struggle to see it through the viewports. He wondered if anyone on the bridge felt anything at all when they hit their targets.
Still, it was better than being stuck downstairs, in the middle of a patrol. The kick of the guns for one, was probably more satisfying.
Continuing at his leisurely pace, he reached the mess just as the clock at the top of his HUD hit nineteen hundred. He watched as a large group began to pour out of it, did a double take and adjusted his trajectory to give them a wide berth as they passed.
The gaggle of pilots stumbled past him, laughing and shoving at each other while making a good deal of ruckus. A full thirty-two hours since their pit stop on Moruna and they still acted like they were drunk, he thought to himself. That wasn’t why he was avoiding them though.
The Resillient’s pilots were a loose turbolaser. This group especially, Ult thought as he eyed the man in front, the tallest and loudest of them all.
Liv Tarsit. Captain of the ship’s most elite squadron. Commander of its combined TIE forces. And, in Ult’s opinion, insane.
Granted, few on the ship seemed to share that opinion but he was adamant about it. No man who flew into danger like that could be okay in the head and the way Tarsit and his flyboys did it, they probably had enough loose screws to fix a speeder.
“Hey, trooper.”
Ult stopped and felt his hand twitch around his blaster. Behind him, the group had stopped as well.
“Mind if I have a word?”
The group parted obediently and fucking Tarsit broke away from them to swagger up to him in a few long leisurely steps.
“Is there a problem, sir?”
“You heard anything from your men lately? Anything about foul play?”
Ult blinked at him, jostled out of wondering how the other recognized him without his pauldron on.
“Foul play, sir?”
“My men have had things go missing. Possessions missing from their bunks.”
“… Anything valuable?”
“Nothing worth bothering the brass for.” Tarsit gave a one-armed shrug. Ult paused to consider it.
Now, Ult dealt with missing items all the time. It was a given when you had a few thousand men living under the same roof. Troopers being forgetful, petty or just dying of boredom and horsing around. To think that someone had the guts to mess with Tarsit’s group though?
It was more than unlikely.
“Can’t say I’ve heard anything of the sort.”
Tarsit nodded.
“If you do, keep me informed.” He reached out to pat Ult’s rerebrace before walking away to rejoin his flunkies.
Ult watched him go and made sure they were well on their way before turning around and resuming his course towards the mess. The exchange had left him wondering. But not enough to deter him from getting a quick meal and getting back on track.
He picked a table closest to the exit, took a moment to relish his meal and placed his helmet back on. As expected, the mess was nigh empty by now, most of the off duty crew having piled in early to get the best stuff while it was still warm.
Before long he was back on his way to the med bay, navigating the familiar corridors like the back of his hand. A slight chip on the wall there, then two right turns, past the turbolift doors. Areas like these were where you were most likely to run into some rookie officer, trying desperately not to look like they were lost.
Common ship procedure was to pretend you were suddenly daft and let them figure it out by themselves.
Walking past the glowing lights of the turbolifts, he spotted the emergency cots at the end of the hall, signaling the entryway to the med wing. His destination was right beyond that and he stopped to activate the opening switch to the examination wing, squinting against the harsh glow of the ER.
The hatch let out a smooth hiss as it admitted him and slid shut again behind his back. No medic popped their head around the corner to scowl at him so he turned his gaze to the row of utilitarian beds lined up against the wall.
And there he was.
The most miserable man in the galaxy.
Or the most dramatic one, depending on who you asked.
“Finally!” Emilien whined as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. “I was starting to think I should eat my own boots to keep myself entertained.”
3 notes · View notes
chocolix76 · 1 year
Note
I dunno if this post is still relevant but if it is, I’m kinda interested in seeing some (non canon ofc) interactions of lord eclipse and lunar in your au? I’m very curious in their dynamic and I enjoy seeing the bean suffer. If not that’s cool too
Your wish is my command. I'll admit I had a great time writing this. Also, sorry it took so long-
Word count: 1,393
The distant sound of the sharp clicking of heels against the marble floors sent Lunar sprinting down the seemingly never ending hallway to his room, throwing himself through the open door and closing it behind him. That particular pattern in the footsteps didn’t match those of Sun who normally took very slow and cautious steps as if placing his foot in the wrong spot would cause him to be punished. These footsteps were quick and purposeful and held the air of arrogance that belong to the person behind them. That was not a person Lunar wanted to run into if he could help it.
Lunar pressed his body against the rotting wooden door to his room, surprised that his weight didn’t make it cave in. His room smelled moldy and vaguely of something rotting, spiders climbing up the walls and building elaborate webs that Lunar’s face often got caught in, but anything was better than being stuck out in the hallway with Eclipse. Tilting his gaze up towards the omnipresent floating eye that always followed directly behind him, Lunar darted across the room and grabbed a chair from his desk, wedging it underneath the doorknob. The eye had gone from its usual menacing orange to a malevolent black, the white pupil widening to a size of a dinner plate. Eclipse was watching.
The door creaked dangerously on its hinges, the chair struggling to hold itself in place as Eclipse rattled the doorknob. He could have easily broken the door down, but Lunar knew he wouldn’t do that so soon. A few terrifying moments passed where Eclipse kept jostling the door as Lunar curled into a ball in the corner of the room knowing that he wouldn’t be safe no matter where he hid. The sounds of Eclipse’s malevolent laughter cut through the thin wooden door like butter, seeming to echo through the room and chill Lunar all the way to his endoskeleton.
“Why don’t you make this easier on yourself and open the door, Lunar?” Eclipse said coolly, giving one last twist of the doorknob. “I think we both know that you’re long overdue for giving me some…entertainment, considering the little stunt you pulled last week. Wouldn’t want to make this harder on yourself now, would you?”
Trembling at Eclipse’s words, the chilling tone of his voice seeming to bring down the temperature of the room by a few degrees, Lunar reluctantly removed the chair from beneath the doorknob and opened the door, forcing himself to look up into Eclipse’s eyes. The piercing orange eyes narrowed at him, a wide toothy grin stretching across Eclipse’s face as he stared down at his victim, mentally going over what he could possibly have Lunar do that day. 
Wordlessly, Eclipse looped his arm around Lunar’s and led him down the hallway. Such a gesture could have been considered almost sweet if it weren’t Eclipse who was performing the action. Eclipse’s claw-like fingers dug into the plating on Lunar’s forearms which had begun to indent in that area after repeated warning scratches when Lunar tried to wiggle away. As they made their way down the hall to the dreaded spiral staircase, Eclipse hummed to himself, the melody rolling off his voicebox like honey. So many actions that would have been considered brotherly love if they were performed by anyone else but Lord Eclipse.
As much as Lunar wanted to pull away and sprint down the staircase and into the relative safety of the library where Sun resided, Lunar kept marching forward knowing from experience that any deviation in what Eclipse wanted only made things worse later on. When they reached the top of the staircase, Eclipse’s humming paused only for a moment when they passed a closed door that had Lunar’s face painted on it with light blue paint that appeared as if it had been drawn by a claw rather than a finger. Lunar turned his head away, not wanting to remember the existence of that room as long as he could avoid it. However, with what was bound to happen in the next few minutes, Lunar would be going in there soon enough.
“What do you have in mind for today, Lord Eclipse?” Lunar squeaked as Eclipse roughly shoved him into an almost dungeon-like room. The room was built in a precarious arch shape, the stones above their heads holding together by nothing but the power of the star. There wasn’t a single window in that room, nor a light to go by besides the singular torch that hung at the far end of the wall. 
Eclipse paused at the question, the grin on his face only growing larger and exposing more razor sharp teeth. “I’m not feeling quite so bored today, so I think some simple entertainment will do. You know, it pains me that you don’t like to come up here. I always think we have so much fun together.”
Knowing what would happen next and yet having no clue what Eclipse would choose to do, Lunar backed up against the dungeon wall, holding his hands over his face to protect himself from the slap that almost always came first. He held himself in that pose for what felt like hours, expecting pain that never arrived. Hesitantly moving his hands away from his face and risking a glance up at Eclipse, Lunar was seized by the neck and lifted into the air, his feet dangling nearly a foot off the stone floor below. 
“L-Lord Eclipse, please let me go!” Lunar begged, kicking his legs back and forth but failing to make contact with any part of Eclipse’s body. He could feel the mechanical parts in his neck shifting over each other and hear dull cracks and pops beneath Eclipse’s fingers as his grip tightened, causing a white hot agony to wash over Lunar. “I-It won’t happen again, I-I promise!”
“Sure it won’t,” Eclipse said with a sickly sweet tone, moving his clawed fingers so that more mechanic parts scrapped over each other, causing an agonized scream from Lunar. “Regardless of whether you’ll behave from here on out, I think you’ve had enough fun. I believe it’s my turn to have some entertainment.”
Just as Lunar was about to let out another plea for his life, Eclipse tossed him across the room, Lunar’s back slamming into the stone wall behind him with an echoing crack and crumpling to the floor with only a small whimper of pain. Oil oozed out of the cracked and shattered parts of Lunar’s plating as he slowly brought himself to his knees, pressing his hands together in an almost prayerful motion as he glanced up at Eclipse. He desperately tried to ignore how pure agony ran through his systems and made it nearly impossible to think clearly or how Eclipse smiled in a way that confirmed Lunar’s current fear. He wouldn’t make it out alive, but Eclipse still wanted him to believe that there was hope even for a moment.
Lunar opened his mouth and closed it a few times, gaping for words that refused to come to him. Oily tears ran down his faceplate and dripped onto the floor where they mingled with the oil that was still streaming freely from his wounds. With a smile that bordered on sympathetic, Eclipse knelt down next to Lunar and gently placed a hand underneath his chin, tilting his head up the slightest bit to meet his eyes. As much as Lunar wanted to believe that Eclipse had changed his mind, it was all tricks. A ploy to make him feel a sliver of hope in his final moments. However, death wasn’t final for Lunar, even though he often felt like staying dead would be a mercy.
“Goodnight my sweet Lunar,” Eclipse taunted before removing his hand from underneath Lunar’s chin and kicking him in the face with as much force as he could muster. 
Lunar’s faceplate exploded outward on impact, oil, wiring, and mechanical parts spraying across the room as his body slumped forward lifelessly onto the cool stone floor. With a sharp tutting sound, Eclipse wiped some of the oil off his robe and faceplate before ringing a bell to summon Sun into the room. Within a few minutes, the mess would be cleaned and Lunar would be wandering around the palace again as if nothing had ever happened. 
11 notes · View notes
gergthecat · 8 months
Text
Farmer's Infatuation PT 2 - No POV Kady/Ezra
He’s decided that it’s the air. That’s the reason that Ezra can never seem to let go of Kady. Why they seem to wake up a little slower here, even though they just about have the weight of the galaxy on their shoulders. Why she sits just a bit closer to him at breakfast than normal. And why when he exits his room in his work clothes, she stays in his arms for a second longer before kissing him goodbye. 
He craves being with her, instead of stuck lugging around hay all day with Hanna. It’s all he thinks about. 
Kady wishes she had time to let her thoughts wander to Ezra, but she’s got the files to worry about. All with keeping them safe and making sure her Dad heals properly, she’s (to say the least) overwhelmed. He knows this, and as he leans to catch a glance of her through the window of their farmhouse while he carries piles of hay, he considers what he could do to improve her mood. Of course, there’s the obvious answer, but he feels as though he should do something more. 
Just as he lets go of his last bale, arching his back to relieve some of the stress it has fallen victim to, he notices Nik glaring at one of the other hands and receiving a seemingly well-deserved scowl in response. He watches, intrigued, as Hanna slips in a path of mud, and both boys dart to catch her, so as to make sure not a single inch of her is dirtied. 
Nik’s opponent reaches her first, and grabs her hand, just barely making it in time. Of course, Nik grumbles, and Ezra is hit with a stroke of brilliance. Thus begins the bargaining. 
In the end, Ezra wins his battle, switching jobs with Nik and winning his position to lord over the fields instead of spending all day in a tractor. Trailer. Whatever. His plan is in motion already; now, he has access to all the gardens on the farm. He is unstoppable ( mwah ha ha ha ha ) on his mission to make his girlfriend a fantastic dinner, one just like those he would make for her on their nights staying in back on Kerenza IV. He’ll need a lot of help.
After pretending to work for another hour, Ezra departs from his family of cows to consult Issac, and perhaps to acquire some nibbles as well. 
“That’s a… creative idea. I like the premise of throwing her a surprise dinner, but do you really think you’ll be able to pull it off?” Kady’s father says skeptically, “We know better than anyone that she is not easy to fool.”
“I’m confident enough,” Ezra responds, crossing his arms over his chest in an effort to make himself seem more self-assured.
“Confident enough about what?” A disembodied voice questions behind them.
The pair swivels around to find a dubious Kady leaning against the kitchen counter.
“Oh, it’s nothing. Just some farming stuff is all,” Ezra returns, eyes darting everywhere but to meet hers.
Her eyes narrow, beautiful ocean blues meeting his dusky brown ones. She leans forward, and Issac sighs, laboriously lifting himself from the stool he was sitting at and making as swift of an escape as his injury would permit. 
“You okay? You seem a little… weird. I was watching you while you were working,” she questions, concern swimming on her face.
He grumbles as he paces over to her, pressing her against the counter, burying his face in the crook of her neck, and wrapping his arms around her torso.
“I wanted you to have a good night. Not just sex, I wanted to make you dinner and we’d watch Super Turbo Awesome Team VS. Awesome Turbo Super Team on the couch. I just want you to relax,” he mumbles into her shoulder, “You’ve been stretched too thin; you’ve got too much to do by yourself.”
Kady sighs into his chest and lifts her hand to his face. He rises to look at her as she whispers to him,
“You’re so perfect,” she sighs, “Can’t we do that anyway? Sans surprise? I’d love it anyways; I just wanna spend time with you.”
The couple presses their foreheads together. They stay there for minutes. Used to the familiar feeling of each other’s arms, sharing a hug just like their final one on the Mao. Finally, they detach from one another, and while joking and giggling, they make dinner. They fall asleep on the couch, plates piled up on the coffee table, as Kady’s head lies tranquilly on her boyfriend’s shoulder, his arms thrown over her torso. They fit together like a perfect puzzle, manufactured to slide in place like they do nearly every night, like they do tonight.
Check me out on AO3 :)
Farmer's Infatuation Part 1
Masterlist :)
4 notes · View notes
starglimmersfw · 2 years
Text
Study Buddies
A fic for Ayaka's birthday, it's a little late but I hope you like it!
Rating: Gen
Pairing: Ayaka/Lumine
Summary: The only thing that makes the stress of finals bearable is a hot drink and a new crush. Right?
Thoma sat up, his attention pulled towards the chiming door to Nights of Javonius, “Lumine!” He waved her over and then immediately flopped back against the couch with an exaggerated sigh, “midterms are the worst. Why do we do this again?” 
“Because we must.” Ayaka replied with a smile, but found herself floundering for something to say when Lumine finally joined them. Her heart swelled with gratitude when Thoma literally jumped into the empty silence, getting up and gesturing for Lumine to take his spot on the couch.
“Hey! Have you ordered yet?” When she shook her head he gestured at the couch again, “please, I insist. Besides, I think Ayaka and I both need a refill and maybe a snack. What would you like Lu? It’s my treat of course.”
“Thanks Thoma. I guess I’ll have a cinnamon oat milk cold brew and a pumpkin muffin?” 
“Sure!” He gave her a thumbs up and headed towards the counter. Lumine busied herself with getting her ancient laptop plugged in, propping it up on the table so that it would actually take a charge. 
“How were-”
“What did-”
Both women looked at each other and laughed. The moment felt so warm and genuine to Ayaka her stomach was doing flip flops. She prayed to any archon listening that she could maintain her composure while working on their project. Being around Lumine kept her feeling giddy and taut, stretched thin over feelings she didn’t have the courage to name. At least for now, she could fall back on the muscle memory of years of practiced niceties. 
She nodded to Lumine, “go ahead.”
“I was just going to ask how you managed to snag the ‘comfy corner,’ especially during midterms.”
“Thoma has pretty much been here all day studying, so he secured the couch as soon as he could. How were your classes today?”
“Exhausting, I cannot wait for midterms to be over.” Lumine dug into her bag, “I’m so glad Thoma offered to pick up the coffee and snacks. I don’t get paid for a couple more days, but I’m good for it.”
“Please don’t worry about it, either one of us would be happy to cover you.” Ayaka gave Lumine what she hoped was a reassuring smile, but she wasn’t sure how to read Lumine’s reaction. 
“Are you sure?” At Ayaka’s nod she continued, “that’s nice of you, thanks. You’re lucky to have a guy like him.”
Ayaka wanted to laugh, but knew it was better to set the record straight. “Well, my parents adopted him when he was young, so we grew up together. But I am very lucky. He’s like my brother, but also my best friend.” She looked down at her lap, twisting the hem of her navy blue sweater in her hands. 
“So you aren’t dating?”
“No, we do live together,” Ayaka paused, trying to find the right words, disappointment roiling in her stomach, “however it’s not like that. But if you’re interested, he’s not currently seeing anyone now.” She couldn’t avoid sounding quiet and withdrawn, as much as she wanted to ignore it.
“Oh no, Thoma is a sweet guy, and I think we could be good friends, but he’s not my type.”
Her reply hung heavy in the small space between them, but before either one of them could say anything else, Lumine’s laptop made a chirping noise. 
“Oh Barbatos, what is wrong now!?” She yanked the laptop off the side table and began to type and click away, trying to fix things. 
“Lumine, I can’t believe you’re still using that ancient hunk of plastic. Why don’t you upgrade?” Thoma carefully placed three plates on the table in front of the couch before pulling an iced coffee from the crook of his arm. He handed it to Lumine and sat down to take a monstrous bite of his bagel. 
“Ugh I wish I could, but I’m just not flush enough for that kind of purchase. Thanks for the coffee and food.”
Thoma quickly chewed and swallowed, “don’t worry about it! We can’t work on empty stomachs.”
“It certainly wouldn’t help, right?” The barista Amber chimed in as she carefully held two steaming drinks, placing them on the coffee table and stepping back with a flourish. “One flat white with whole milk and one salted honey chestnut latte.” She pulled a fork from her apron pocket, “and this is for your apple cake Ayaka.” 
The group offered their thanks and briefly caught up with Amber before she headed back behind the counter. 
“Okay ladies, are you ready to crush this group project?” Thoma gave them a rakish grin. 
“Yes, let’s do our best!”
“Yeah!” 
- - -
Lumine nearly tripped as a snowy gust pushed the door shut behind her. She stomped her feet to get the snow out of her boot soles as best she could but given the general state of the floor, it felt like a lost cause.
“Hey Lumine!” Amber waved from behind the counter. She waved back and wrestled off her heavy jacket before she overheated. The weather had decided to conspire against everyone, giving the students a surprise cold snap and snow storm in the midst of finals. 
“Amber. What is going on with this weather?!”
The barista grinned at her, “Archons, I know! It’s like they’re punishing us, as if finals aren’t bad enough. What’ll be?”
“Can I get a cinnamon latte and an all–nighter special?”
“You and your girl are gonna be working hard huh?” She winked and passed the cup to the barista before dropping the tokens in Lumine’s hand. 
“She’s not-it’s, we’re just in classes together! And friends!” She ran her thumb over the coins in her hand and tried not to think about the alternative. “So I can study here all night and I get three basic drinks and a pastry right? Does the drink have to be the same every time?”
“Nope, as long as it’s not a specialty drink you’re good. And remember the rules, no horseplay and no sleeping.”
“Right. Well I wasn’t planning on the first and I think the coffee will help with the second. Thanks Ambs!” 
“Good luck!”
Lumine sat across from Ayaka, dropping her things on the chair next to her. “Hey, how’s studying going?”
“Lumine! Hi!” Ayaka smiled up at her and there was something so sweet and endearing about her expression, Lumine couldn’t help but smile back. “Studying is going as well as could be expected, but I think it will be a long night. Not that we could go anywhere in this weather.” Her expression darkened, giving the windows a worried glance.
“I mean, it’s a good night to stay in, so that’s something.”
“You’re right. We’ll be fine. Now let’s get to work!”
A productive silence fell over their table as they each got to work, but a shuffling in the corner caught Lumine’s attention.
“Hey, Ayaka, the couch is empty, let’s claim it before someone else does!” She grabbed her bag and jacket and casually sauntered over, sitting on the still warm cushions before someone else got the same idea. 
Ayaka soon joined her and they eventually managed to take over the couch and table in front of it with their things. Lumine left to pick up a spiced coffee for herself and jasmine tea for Ayaka, fixing them at the end of the bar before returning to her friend. 
“Honey and almond milk for the lady, and an obscene amount of milk and sugar for me.” 
“It must be cold if you’re drinking hot coffee for a change.” Ayaka blew on her drink and then took a sip, “it’s perfect, thank you Lumine.” 
Lumine blushed at the praise but quickly changed the subject, “we’ll see about the hot coffee since it’s starting to get pretty warm in here.”
A few minutes later, Lumine realized that the hot coffee had in fact been a mistake. At first, she tried to just unzip her hoodie, but she could still feel the heat creeping up the back of her neck and finally just yanked it off, leaving her in yoga pants and a strappy tank top. 
“Oh, um, are you, won’t you be cold?” Ayaka seemed to be flushed from the heat as well, looking back out the window instead of at her companion. 
“Nah, this is much better. Once I overheat this is the only way I can cool off, I’ll be fine in a bit. Do you want to start reviewing for our final?” 
“Yes, did you get the outline I sent you?” Ayaka pulled out her laptop and set it in front of them. Lumine pulled her notebook out and they fell into a steady rhythm of question and answer, review, discuss, and repeat.
It was past midnight when they wrapped up, with a productive but anxious hush having fallen over the coffeehouse. Lumine put her notebook away and pulled out her laptop, knowing she couldn’t put off finishing her term paper any longer. 
Ayaka handed Lumine her coffee and sat down. Lumine’s stomach rumbled at the spicy aroma of Ayaka’s tea, “is that chai? It smells so good.” She took a sip of her coffee, exactly as sweet as she liked, “this is great, thanks Ayaka.” 
“You’re welcome. Are you hungry? I still have a pastry token if you’d like it.” 
Lumine shook her head, “I’m okay. I have a protein bar if I need something for now. I’m saving my pastry for when I need it, which is usually around 3am.” She laughed but it was cut off when her laptop screen flashed at her. “No, no, not now, please Paimon, get it together!” She frantically tapped at the keys while trying to adjust the charger. 
A few minutes later she had her head in her hands. She asked around the coffeehouse, and not even the tech savviest of customers could revive her dead computer. While all her work was saved online, she had no way to access it, and her paper was due in eight hours. Rubbing her face she went to the entrance and cracked open the door, using the snowy air to try and calm herself down. 
She knew her professor wouldn’t allow for an extension so close to the due date and she was running through any number of scenarios to try and figure out a solution. She flopped back down on the sofa, an anxious pit in her stomach. 
“Here.” Ayaka handed her a laptop in considerably better condition than her own. “Use mine.”
Lumine could have cried, feeling relief wash over her. “Are you sure, don’t you need it?” 
“I have my tab-” she was cut off as Lumine gripped her in a tight hug, letting go just as quickly. 
“Archons, thank you! This paper is such a huge chunk of my grade and I’ve been struggling so hard with the topic.” She laid back against the sofa with her eyes closed, trying to calm herself down enough to focus on her work. 
“I’m glad I could help. Let me just set you up.”
Lumine watched Ayaka through half open eyes. She was focused on her screen, her lower lip just barely caught in her teeth. Underneath the warring anxiety and relief, she felt a glimmer of something else, but she did her best to push it down and ignore it. She tipped her head back against the couch and took a deep breath before turning to face her. 
“You should be ready to go, I’ve got you set up with a separate OS login and Waypoint is already downloaded, so you should be able to access your own browser account without any trouble.” She handed Lumine her laptop with a hopeful smile. 
“You are amazing and I owe you my life. Or at least my grade in this class.”
“Please, I’m always happy to help a friend, and you were so distressed, it’s the least I could do.”
The very late night hush of the coffeehouse fell over them. Ayaka was alternating between her tablet, notebook, and textbook, while Lumine typed as quickly as she could to make up for lost time.
Lumine was pulled out of her term paper fugue state by a warm weight leaning against her. She nearly jumped out of her skin until she realized it was Ayaka, fast asleep on her shoulder. The rules of the coffeehouse were clear in her mind, and she knew Ayaka needed to wake up or they were going to get kicked out. 
It was hard to push the issue though, especially when she tried to move and that only made Ayaka snuggle up to her. She was so soft, and Lumine wasn’t sure if it was just her shampoo, or her perfume, but she even smelled pretty. It couldn’t be helped though, especially when Eula tapped her on the arm. Lumine shrank back, knowing how stern the blue-haired barista could be, but relaxed when she saw her surprisingly gentle expression. 
“Hey kid, she’s gotta wake up. We’re not kicking anyone out with the snow coming down like this, but we can’t have anyone sleeping either.” She shrugged on her coat and grabbed the shovel leaning against the wall. “Go grab a couple of coffees.” She leaned in so only Lumine could hear, “keep your tokens, but tell Amber I took them.” She winked and headed outside.
Lumine carefully shifted Ayaka away from her, making sure she didn’t fall too hard, and went up to the counter.
“Hey Ambs, do you have any more Stormbearer blend? And maybe a,” she squinted at the list of teas, “um, the Thunder Sakura Matcha? Eula grabbed my tokens when she went outside.”
“Mmhmm. I’m sure she did.” She gave Lumine a knowing smile, but didn’t press the issue. She slid the cups across the counter along with a small paper bag. “Just a couple extra pastries that we would have probably just thrown out anyway. Enjoy!” 
Ayaka was still asleep when she got back to the couch. Lumine placed her tea on the table next to her and gently shook her shoulder. Ayaka woke up slowly at first, sleepy and sweet, murmuring Lumine’s name before sitting up, her eyes wide with panic. 
“I fell asleep! I shut my eyes for only a moment, it just-are we getting kicked out? Is it already morning?”
“It’s still snowing and it’s not morning, so they’re being a little forgiving. Here, I brought you some tea and we got some free pastries. I didn’t put any milk or sugar in it, I thought you might want something a little bracing right now.”
Lumine felt revived by the snack break, and managed to push through the conclusion just as the sky began to lighten, arms shooting above her head when she wrapped up the last edits. “Finally! Done!” 
“That’s wonderful!” Ayaka took back her laptop with a smile and slid it back into her bag. “You never told me, what’s it about?
“The title is ‘Immovable Mountains, Intangible Forms: Gender and the Divine in Rex Incognito,’ I studied a lot of Liyue literature when I was in school at the university there.”
“That sounds fascinating, you’ll have to let me read it sometime!” 
Lumine felt self conscious but agreed, and they both returned to wrapping up their work and getting ready to leave as the coffeehouse and the campus began to wake up. They walked carefully to the corner where their paths home diverged, and stood off to the side, waiting. 
“Well, I’d better head to my apartment,” Ayaka turned to cross the street, her hand barely brushing Lumine’s, shocking her to action. 
“Wait-” she grabbed Ayaka’s hand, pulling her down a side street. “I just, can I, um,” breathing deep, she tried again, “can I buy you a pizza or dinner or something not at the coffeehouse? You saved my grade tonight, it’s the least I can do.”
Cold-pinked cheeks flushed pinker, and it took Ayaka a moment to respond. “Is that the only reason?”
The intent was clear as the post snowstorm sky above them, a crisp blue with only a few wisps of clouds barely blushed from the sunrise. The golden pink glow felt a little like the hope knotted tight in her stomach when Lumine replied, “do you want it to be?”
Before either one of them could say anything else, the clock tower chimed, pulling them back to reality. Fidgeting, anxious, Ayaka looked around, “no, I don’t.” And surprised both of them by kissing Lumine on the cheek before quickly crossing the street before the signal changed. 
Lumine watched her leave, a flustered apology thrown over her shoulder as she left.
“That makes two of us.”
31 notes · View notes
arcaneprism · 1 year
Text
Nursing the Sick One - Julie & Kayla
Number 9!! What better time to write about sick people than when you’re sick yourself?
Anyways I’ve been thinking about Kayla
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Kayla being ill wasn’t a regular occurrence. Generally, she was one of the last of them to fall sick, if at all. That, coupled with her studying to get into nursing, usually made her the unintentional caretaker in their household for when all of them fell sick. Julie wondered how she coped. Because Julie was in her role right now and she wanted to die.
She loved her housemates, truly she did but good lord they were really making her think that they should be giving Kayla presents every time someone fell sick. She kind of wished that Kayla wasn’t one of the sick ones right now so that she could have some help but hearing Kayla’s croaky ‘come in’ when she knocked on her door had her changing her mind quickly. She more than deserved the break she was getting.
Not that being ill was a break but given how stretched thin she had been with assignments and placement and Dirty Candi practises, it was probably as close as she was going to get.
“How are you feeling?”
All Julie got from the pile of blankets was a pained groan.
“I have soup.”
Another groan. Julie frowned behind her mask, putting the soup aside to poke and prod at the pile of blankets until Kayla finally emerged from her blanket nest.
“Come on, up we go.” Julie urged, fussing around Kayla’s complaints until she managed to force herself to sit up. She looked groggy, eyes drooping as if she was about to fall asleep again, and her usual smile replaced by the angriest scowl Julie had ever seen on her.
“I’m not hungry,” she grumbled, looking somewhat like a disgruntled cat and Julie had to hold back a laugh.
She didn’t take no for an answer though, having learned from Alex who had nearly bitten her head off when she tried to get him to eat and then almost ended up crying because he was hungry a little later on. Unlike Alex who acted like a toddler when Julie tried to feed him, Kayla was compliant, swallowing down the soup whenever Julie spooned it into her mouth.
She managed to make Kayla eat half the bowl before Kayla finally had enough, pushing away the soup when Julie tried to get her to eat another spoonful.
“Are you going back to sleep now?” Julie asked when Kayla had finished up as much water as she could tolerate.
Kayla shook her head, settling back down into her pillows in a still upright position, “Have to wait 30 minutes.”
Oh. 
Right. That was a thing. Maybe Julie shouldn’t have let Luke flop back into bed right after he had eaten. No matter. She’ll check on him later to make sure he didn’t die in his sleep or something.
“Do you want company till then?”
Kayla tilted her head, taking a moment to think through the fuzz in her brain before she finally nodded. Julie smiled and took a perch at the end of her bed.
“How’s playing nurse going?”
Julie wasn’t sure what kind of face she made, but it managed to pull a laugh out of Kayla and she was more than happy to take that as a win.
“That bad?”
Julie thought of Reggie who was so quiet and resigned to his sickness that if he died in his sleep, Julie probably wouldn’t realise till the next meal time, then of Nick who had become so whiny Julie had nearly strangled him, and then to Bobby and Flynn who both of them somehow wanted to be productive and needed to be sat on until they actually took a rest. (God, she was grateful that Carrie was travelling right now, she’d rather die than have to take care of a sick Carrie as well).
“At least we have Willie.” Julie finally said as a response. Willie had been an angel. The best patient in the house. Even if he was so delirious that half of what he was saying didn’t make sense. But hey, he at least listened and didn’t whine too much.
“Remind me to take you out to dinner when you’re well again. You deserve it for having to deal with us being like this so often.” Julie added.
Kayla only laughed.
4 notes · View notes
perexcri · 2 years
Note
Yelling and hollering, Will’s pining is making my Heart hurt😭🫠 I’m on my hands and knees it’s just so sad
(Me last chapter: haha Mike is a simp. Me this chapter: weeping and wailing why can’t they just Be Together.)
“he feels like he’s being stretched thin, a canvas pinned to a frame too wide for its bearings.” Gobbles this up like taffy.
Will’s nightmare that probably wasn’t a nightmare—your imagery!!! The eye thing was !!!!! I am going to snap One in half like Fire Kindling for Hurting My Boy bc that is some Scary ass nightmare (premonition???) to be having the night before Icky Obligations.
“Then, so faintly that he can almost convince himself he imagined it, he feels something sharp catch across his ankle.” 😃Worry. I am Worry for Will.
I have a feeling this alcove that Will’s been using to escape from the rest of the world is perhaps gonna make a return as the Opposite of an escape. Danger. Son is in Danger.
Hope you have a good time with your out of town friends!! And hope you are doing well!!
VEEEEE greetings from my work laptop ten minutes before i'm supposed to clock in heheheh. the Will pining was certainly strong with this chapter. poor little guy :(
speaking of poor little guy: the nightmare! yeah Will is (once again, much like canon) going through it. and then the something sharp around his ankle hmmm wonder what that could beeee (this laptop apparently does not have emojis like my personal one, so just pretend i'm putting the looking eyes emoji here lol)
only time will tell if your prediction about Will's little hideout is true. i do promise it's important, but that's all i feel like saying for right now :D
and ahhhh thank you for the well wishes!! so far it has been a lovely time. it's always a joy to see friends and they have made my life so much better by being in it :]
i hope you're doing well too, Vee!! i will hopefully see you soon for the next chapter :D (though my pride and prejudice au chapter might be coming out before that 0_0)
thanks again for stopping by <3
6 notes · View notes
all-tickety-boo · 3 months
Note
Hello Mister Fell, i just wanted to ask for a small bit of advice, if you don’t mind:) I’m not really great at self care and feel shortly before a burnout. I would like to avoid that and therefore wanted to ask for advice on self care (that’s actually healthy, and does not consist of relapses, as that is one thing I try to avoid but fail to do so) I know this isn’t what your blog is for, but I did not know who else to ask…I apologize for the interruption and wish you a great day *awkwardly & anxiously wringing her hands to not start stimming*
I might not be certainly the best being to ask, but probably better than the archangels (anybody is better than asking the archangels.)
I found that it’s a lot easier to prevent burnout than to recover from it, and recognizing that is wonderful! Stretched myself thin sometime around the beginning of fourteenth century, and wasn’t even close to feeling all tickety-boo till the beginning of the fifteenth; I wouldn’t recommend it. Oh, I’m rambling, aren’t I- I have a few books but I’m sure that they say the same thing as the rest of these inter nets.
From my personal experience, it’s not always feasible to stop everything you’re doing to recover, but Crowley mentioned something that I personally found quite helpful. Changing your perspective can help with a lot of the stress. For example, when Crowley and I began walking by the park on occasion when the whole ‘world pandemic’ incident came about, I always felt like I could be doing something more… productive!
There was no apocalypse to stop or even anymore check-ins with Heaven, and I certainly knew I could and should at least momentarily relax and still hadn’t taken a breath out from the last apocalypse. I was outside and doing the ‘self-care’ I thought I should be doing, but just felt so stressed still! But it was what I was supposed to be doing, read all about all the various benefits of walking, but I didn’t feel any better! It was quite miserable…
Than one day, Crowley happened to suggest instead of walking, simply meeting at the bench and feeding the ducks. It felt a lot simpler, a lot shorter; certainly not productive or anything that could actually be meaningful or help anything, but I found that despite being easier or more menial, I was much happier doing it. Even looked forwards to seeing these silly looking ducks. It was only once a week, but it was nothing I dreaded, even if it was a tiny task.
Than I began to apply that to more activities, and found I wasn’t as bad at self-care as I thought. Making a cup of tea. Moving from the shadow back into the light while a whole day was spent reading. I’m certain whatever you’re already doing in your day to day is just fine, and if you have the energy to do something more without feeling the worse for it, then that’s also great. It’s not always feasible to retreat from everything, but reframing the idea of it all in your mind can help, even the slightest did. Whatever it is, you’re doing wonderful already, dear.
1 note · View note
spacepup2-0 · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media
Chapter Three | An Ally (3/3)
Last Chapter <- {} -> Next Chapter
His eyes slightly narrowed at the thought, letting out a puff of smoke from is nostrils. Even so, they were quite young, he would just wait for him to wake up then he’d leave. But that plan failed since it took half an hour for Dakota to wake back up and when he did, he had questions. “Why did you help me?” Dakota questioned, the blue dragon jut let out a grunt and turned his head away from Dakota. “Okay, what about names? Mine is Dakota.” Purple eyes locked onto Dakota’s amber ones, it seemed the dark blue dragon was debating something before speaking up. “Farris, and your name doesn’t sound very dragon like.” He commented, still looking at Dakota like he was trying to pick him apart. “Ah well uhm...you see this is more of a curse, by a scale.” Dakota explained while sitting up and looking at his now big and scaley body. “Ah, so that must be why you’re so small than regular dragons.” Farris stood up, stretching his legs and getting ready to fly up out the gorge. “I would say I wish you well on your journey, but I really don’t” Spreading his big wings and flapping them gently a few times to warm them up before flying. “Wait!” Dakota shouted, quickly standing up and almost stumbling over his own legs. “I…I can’t get out the gorge…” His voice almost a whisper as he shamefully lowered his head. This made Farris freeze in his place before letting out a sigh of annoyance. “Of course he couldn’t get out, he’s a dumb human that’s now a dragon…” Farris mentally complained. Slowly he tucked his wings back to his sides again and turned to face Dakota. “Okay listen, spread your wings, jump up, and flap. Like this.” He spread his wings and gently jumped up, giving himself enough airtime for his flapping wings to lift him up. “Go ahead. Try.” His purple eyes watching Dakota as he miserably flapped his wings like a baby bird who’s still learning to fly. “Even a chicken can do better than that…” He deadpanned, deciding that flying would just have to wait for later if they wanted to get out the gorge now, and he did. Trying to get out the gorge can be very dangerous at night when you can’t see where you’re stepping. That was never a problem for Farris though since he was made to be able to see in the dark. “Did I do good?” Dakota questioned, it almost reminded Farris of a hatchling when they try to impress their parents. Instead, it wasn’t a hatchling. “No. It was more of your just flapping your wings frantically.” He stated, “So I’ve decided we’ll just walk instead since clearly you can’t do any better than a baby could.” With that, Farris turned to follow the flow of the stream down the gorge. Dakota quickly scrambling after Farris like a duckling. Now with his head clear and being able to clearly see Farris, Dakota could see that Farris was also slim but had more muscle than Dakota himself did. Farris also had a small horn on his nose with horns that curled back like a ram, His tail was thin and at the end of his tail was a spike in the shape of a diamond. If he squinted his eyes, he could spot the tiny spots of white. “You look like the sky at night!” Dakota exclaimed, picking up his pace to be right beside Farris. “I’m supposed to, I am a night hunter after all. It would make more sense to blend into the night sky.” Farris stated, keeping his eyes in front of him almost like he didn’t really want to acknowledge or be with Dakota. Which he didn’t. “Shouldn’t we go upstream? Y’know, follow it to the source of the water?” Dakota kept throwing question after question at Farris and clearly Farris was starting to get annoyed if his twitching eyes and his low wagging tail was anything to go by, not that Dakota knew any dragon body language. “Let’s play a game.” Farris suggested “It’s called, stop talking.” He hissed, picking up his pace to try and at least get some distance between himself and Dakota.
0 notes
orangecottoncandycat · 9 months
Text
I asked to take space because I knew I needed it. I was stretching myself too thin and I knew I would blow up and snap eventually. I understand taking space sounds so horrible in the thought of losing someone but I knew I was losing the battle inside myself.
You did get a lot right on how to treat me but I don’t think we are there yet. I understand you have past traumas and as much as I want to help burden you with those, you need something more than me. To express and heal from those. Just like I have traumas I need to heal and work from. Those will always arise and we will always be triggered unless we release those demons from ourselves.
When I am at full mental or physical capacity, when I’m feeling sad or getting depressed.. I sleep. I sleep for hours on end, I could sleep for days on end. Those are the days i am the most selfish and do things for myself, to heal. That usually looks like watching movies I enjoy, relaxing at home, and being alone. I would like someone to be able to occupy me when this happens but I haven’t been able to express it or understand it’s happening till I’m already in it. And in those moments, I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to do anything and it’s hard for others to understand but it doesn’t happen often but when I need it.. I need it. This was this time
The more someone pushes me for anything, the further I run away. I don’t know why, I don’t know how to get myself out of it. It’s something I need to learn and understand to be better. I was in my selfish mode cause of the crazy week I had and all I wanted to do was rest, relax. Then coming home and finding out my Grumpy doesn’t have much time absolutely destroyed me. I felt like I couldn’t even go to you and I didn’t want to explain myself, I didn’t want the comments or anything on you slept the day away and we couldn’t do anything. I know you had plans for me that day but I couldn’t do it, not mentally or physically and the constant messages, messages to Tiffany just sent me further into avoidance, running away. I was selfish and didn’t think about why this was happening, what you may have been going through and I will admit that. I didn’t have the mental capacity to help you or support you and I tried saying that a few things.
I think boundaries are very healthy in every way, boundaries are needed to make things work. You crossed one of my boundaries that you may not have been aware of but it definitely did some damage on me. It wasn’t the act but the lack of thought about how I would feel that gets to me. Especially when I know there was two other occasions of discomfort brought up with this person. Then to compare me saying that “you aren’t used to someone remembering” when you told me it was “a friend” and didn’t tell me who it was. I thought you knew me better than that, I thought you cared more than that. I know you used to see that relationship as “careless sex” and I just want to remind you that we started that way. People, even if it’s not yourself, will develop feelings, there will always be that attraction because you were attracted to them enough to sleep with them. That makes me feel like I’m in competition with others. The moment our plans fell through, you messaged her to catch up. Wasn’t even out of the state and our plans were replaced with another girl, who probably says she doesn’t have feelings but that’s only in hope that you will catch them first.. that’s the only reason a girl keeps a guy around like that.
I definitely think we both have things we need to work on, I think we jumped in too fast. And I understand we both wanted it, we both wanted these things for years and the first moment of feeling like we have it and we just jumped without thinking.
I do hope you are doing okay and I do wish I could help but mentally I can not help. I need to help myself and get help before I can do that for others. I hope you have a Merry Christmas.
1 note · View note
the-rat-eatery · 2 years
Text
I met the universe- she is a woman.
She spoke to me in a dream and let me see fields of long grass and skies of pearl and pewter. She told me of the insignificance of it all, of the insignificance of herself and my own fleshy body. I wished, with all might, to kiss her.
I did not mean to murder the woman sleeping in the adjacent room. I did not mean to drag her out onto the bank of the river slicing Moscow open and set her adrift. Though something felt wrong. Something felt wrong- because with the marrow that fills my bones, I knew that the Moskva River was not edged with warm light. It did not go on forever. And, with all the wisdom I had built up in the twenty years of my life, I knew that people are supposed to thrash when you kill them- not lay still and pliant and willing while you push them to frigid water.
There is no logic to America. It must have been an incredible flaw with its design or the will of god himself. No human might have created something so wild. Wren wished to see it all.
She, currently, saw only a tiny and dismal part. A flickering lightbulb in a doctor's office, crinkly wax paper to sit on, and a dismaying houseplant on the window sill. Wren did not think this was sanitary or even a real office.
“I’m sorry Ms.Thomas, there is simply nothing we can do”, the man in front of her- balding and short, the light in his puny gray eyes long dead.
“So-”
“You’re dying Ms.Thomas,” and though Wren thought that bedside manner wasn’t the making of a great doctor, she did think it was an important part, this was exactly why.
“Alright!” She said with her usual, off-kilter tone, “I’ll be off then!” She left the office, her summer dress swirling around her bruised knees, the pleas and confusion of the man behind her. And, though she walked with a smile on her face all the way to the nearest Publix, the feeling of heavy weight still straddled her, a light pulling up beginning in her head.
No matter.
Anne sat on the shore of a river until the sun broke the horizon and a bike almost cut off her numb legs.
She would get used to this.
She stood, implementing the help of a willing, scuffed brass pole next to her, standing clinging to it for myriads, looking out at the sunrise.
She had to leave.
Germany, Turkey, America, maybe. She could fly through Istanbul, fake a passport and hop on the cheapest flight to the land of the free. They wouldn’t catch her there.
Her body felt cold and disconnected as her soul floated above it- kept there by spit and pins of desperation.
She stole a passport from a girl that had her same brown hair and blue, tired eye bags. The man at passport control only looked at it briefly, the blueness of its shell being certainty enough.
Wren knew that the Grand Canyon was out there somewhere. Behind hills and valleys and the curvature of the earth. But in the outdoor seating area of a Mcdonald's somewhere in the very armpit of Florida (the basement of the United States), she felt separated from it not by nature- but by a flood of sweat and piles of bullets.
A girl with brown hair and tired blue eye bags sat at the only other clean table. Wren studied her like a book the night before an exam. Gray eyes- but decidedly un puny and small. Long legs and long arms and a long, stretching torso.
Wren thought that if this were two thousand years ago, she might be an empress- she looked born to carry a crown of great weight.
“Hello!” Wren decided that to know the girl better- she must hear her voice, “I’m Wren, who are you?”
The girl looked at her as if through a layer of glass and mist.
“I’m a murderer”
“Oh, who did you kill?” The girl with thin hair and thin face sat next to her- the soft fabric of her deep green sundress plummeting in a sharp ‘V’ down her chest, letting be known that two, perfectly centered birthmarks lined up right in the center of it.
“My grandmother,” Anne answered, though that was the exact opposite of what she was supposed to be doing, “though she might have been dead already.”
“Should I say that I’m sorry? Did she deserve it?”, the girl asked.
“I don’t think anyone could deserve that,” the truth came pouring out of her anyway.
“Well, I think some people do!” Wren had a firm truth to her, as if everything she said were fact, “I’m dying, you see, and the doctor that told me- well I’m not saying that he deserves to die, but gee… his bedside manner could be vastly improved on!”
“Oh,” what are you supposed to say to that? “I’m sorry?”
“Oh, Jesus, it’s fine, we all die someday, I just get to know what happens, after, sooner.”
They sat in silence for long moments- wasting life just for the fun of it.
“I wanted to see all of America, you know,” said Wren, and Anne felt so insanely sorry for her- for the universe and the world to lose this stranger of sundresses and light, “I never quite made it to Alaska.”
A few more long moments pass, the palms rustling in the warm, sticky breeze.
“We could go- if you want,” oh truth, how it escapes her.
Wren didn’t want to question this girl. She didn’t want to ask- ‘don’t you have a job?’, or ‘don’t you have a family?’, or ‘don’t you have things, things to do? Anything other than helping a stranger across the continent?’, because she was so sure that the girl of brown hair and eye bags would say- ‘oh, yes, sorry, I have a girlfriend, and a mother, and a job at the nearby Starbucks, and I do in fact have things to do.’
So she didn’t.
She only stood up.
“Alright”
Wren paid for the car, because- “I would rather die in a car than spend another moment of my life in a plane”.
Anne didn’t argue, she didn’t think she could argue with anything, ever, anymore.
So that was that.
The drive was three days with no stops- so five days if they were being reasonable.
They took turns driving, though they both didn’t have licenses. Anne didn’t question how the car was bought, where the money for gas came from, and how they weren’t arrested each time they passed a toll booth, or when they crossed the borders between Canada and the US, or when they got pulled over for speeding. She just drove when Wren got tired.
They passed through endless fields and towns both bustling with life (Atlanta and Nashville and Regina and Edmonton) and ones dead and utterly similar to previous corpses (Forsyth and Damascus and Murfreesboro and Paducah and Effingham and-), Wren found beauty in it all. She saw bright colors in every pissed-on gas station and claimed every 24-hour diner had the best waffles, or pancakes, or eggs. She stuck her head out the janky skylight of the car and spread out her arms like wings, catching wind in hair and in feathers.
Anne looked at her, at the fields. She saw the old woman with her graying hair and unseeing eyes. On the shore of Lake Michigan, she saw the floating body and thin hair splayed out on the water. Dreams came to her in the passenger seat, covered with a gas station blanket and Wren’s puffer jacket- a wrinkled face sleeping in its herb-infested bed, snow whirling in the tiny window, the light- dark and morbid.
When she wakes up or looks away from the fields or the lake, she looks at Wren. At her thin face and thin hair, at her smile- always stretching, as if with no limit, and the world is better somehow. The morbid light splits on both sides of her, is cut through by the tears of laughter and her own hesitant smile.
Let this last forever.
Wren thinks, thinks, and prays to whatever god is listening. She stands next to an unseeing Anne on the grassy shore of Lake Michigan, wishes to kneel and pray to it too.
Let this last forever.
Anne’s smile is small or nonexistent at first, but it stretches with the fields and the parachute sky. It’s mean, smirking, lopsided. It’s sunlight and everything that Wren had prayed for on her knees in a stuffy church in childhood. It’s love.
Oh, father, son, and holy spirit- let this last forever.
They do reach Alaska, eventually. It took a week, instead of the three days that Google Maps promised and the five that Wren thought it would be.
They took too long in a bed and breakfast somewhere in Minnesota, the sunlight was too perfect, and the grass too soft to leave so soon.
They spent too long in a flower field in Alberta, Anne broke down crying and pulled over, only to scramble out of the old, stuffy car and scream her lungs out somewhere in the most rural of rural North America. Wren had no idea what to do with it, so she scrambled out of the car too- to scream and to watch Anne scream. They lost their voices to the dimming light. Sat there for far too long, tangled their limbs in the dry air, looking out to the endless sky and the fireflies, blinking in and out of existence with the bugs.
They took too long at a gas station in Glennallen, drunk on greasy food and each other.
Let this last- oh, let this last.
The universe is centered around the Kenai Fjords.
Birthplace of gods and monsters.
Source of all beautiful things.
Beginning of time and meeting place of Gaia and Uranus.
Where chaos and wild spawned.
Anne looks beautiful there.
Her brown hair is richer, somehow, her eyebags are dead and gone.
She smiles and Wren is alive.
She smiles and all the niches and crannies that death had crept up and filled with its heavy weight are now filled with light.
Love, love, love.
Oh, how she loves this stranger.
Anne takes her hand and they go kayaking. She tells her that she sees her grandmother in the water- her eyes haunted and distant. Wren tips her kayak over and tells her to deal with it. Anne comes up laughing and soaked.
Wren stands on the peak of a green-covered glacier and tells Anne she is tired, and that she has made her happy.
“You make me happy too,” and Anne smiles, her hair all billowy and brown in the wind.
They kiss on that glacier- the universe cradles two girls in her hands and tells them that they are safe for now.
Wren doesn’t think that Anne noticed the very specific use of past tense.
Love, love, love.
Wren dies in a cradle of sunlight.
Anne thinks she might just pass over with her.
She sits next to her until the sun goes round twice over, until she is out of tears and snot, until she feels the rumble of hunger become inevitable.
She might just pass over with her.
The glaciers are tempting.
Leave this earth, they whisper, follow the bird.
But- she thinks of the smile that coaxed her to life. Of the sinuous sunlight in Minnesota, the field in Alberta.
Don’t waste this.
Get over it.
So she stands, lifts the bird-body with its hollow bones, and sets it adrift.
And the world was light.
0 notes