#I wish I could do it by myself sometimes though
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
angelfic · 2 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
theodore nott x reader
warnings — kissing, kinda pg-13, mentions of drinking/smoking the usual stuff blah blah etc etc
a/n; truly thought another theo fic written by me would never see the light of day but here we are <3 this was meant to be a tiny drabble btw I hate myself!!!! NOT PROOFREAD!
Tumblr media
THEODORE NOTT is shy.
he doesn’t understand why people find him intimidating. well, actually, that’s not completely true. he knows that people avoid him when he’s with his friends because they’re doing stupid shit like when enzo and draco are hexing each other for fun. or when mattheo starts scrapping out in the corridor because someone looked at him wrong and blaise is egging him on.
and, okay, maybe theo will jump in at some point too. in his defence, it’s only when the other guy’s friend starts in on him first.
but his friends aside, theo doesn’t understand why people think he’s intimidating when he’s by himself. it’s not his fault his resting face is daunting.
he wishes he could change it sometimes. girls will still come up to him at parties in the common room once he’s had a couple of drinks, but at the risk of becoming an alcoholic, he can’t be that loose all of the time.
theo wishes more than ever that he could cast some sort of spell on himself when you talk to him. you share a few classes, much to theo’s delight, but it’s not like he’s taking advantage of the fact.
every time you speak to him, his brain short circuits and he feels like a piece of muggle technology being fried by the wards of hogwarts. sometimes it’ll be something small like when you ask him to pass over the pot of lacewing flies in potions and he just stares at you.
“uhm, we’ve run out of them on our table,” you explain after a few seconds of silence, giving him a little smile. you point to the ingredients and raise your brows. “so…?”
he knows for a fact that his face is set in a blank expression that probably looks pissed off, especially when he catches sight of your friend at the table next door who practically looks concerned for your safety.
but his ears are burning and he feels like someone’s electrocuted him when he finally hands over the pot without looking at you and your finger brushes against his for a nanosecond.
“thanks,” you say, sincerely, a smile still gracing your lips as he offers you a stiff nod. you act as though you just had a completely normal interaction and it has theo stressing out because what if you see right through him?
another time, you’re late to history of magic and there are two seats left. one near the front and the other next to theo. you rush over and take out your things, barely registering who you’re sitting with, but theo is hyper-aware. no one ever willingly sits next to him aside from his friends.
once you’re settled, it appears that the rush of being late has left you quickly due to the monotone voice of professor bins and instead you’re fighting to stay awake. theo would know, since he keeps throwing glances your way.
at one point professor binns drones on about known cases of dragon pox and when he starts to list the symptoms, including a green and purple rash, theo mutters under his breath to mattheo, “much rather that than having to sit here for another bloody hour.”
his eyes flick over to you, surprised when you let out an unexpected snort of laughter. mattheo, having fallen asleep on his desk unbeknownst to theo, is oblivious to theo’s comment. instead, you’re the one covering your mouth with your hand to stop yourself from laughing too hard and theo physically can’t stop his lips from quirking up. he made you laugh.
later that day, he overhears your friend apologising for not saving you a seat in class. “i can’t believe you went and sat next to nott. i’m surprised he didn’t tell you to piss off.”
you immediately shush her, and your next words make him feel like he just ran a marathon. “i still don’t know what you mean. he’s nice… and funny,” you say simply, shrugging.
he repeats the words in his head over and over until the next time you talk to him, which happens to be at a party in the slytherin common room.
outside the party, actually. theo goes to sit right outside the common room entrance with his cup and a cigarette, partly to smoke and partly to get away from some of the girls who were flocking to him and his friends after they had all had a few drinks.
he’s exhaling a puff of smoke right as you’re quietly exiting the party to take a seat next to him and as soon as he spots you, he accidentally inhales the smoke the wrong way and coughs.
“sorry,” he mutters, waving the smoke away before it can go near you. he feels stupid and decides to just dump the thing into his cup before setting it aside. alcohol makes him looser, but it doesn’t make him completely immune to you.
“it’s fine,” you smile, crossing your legs as you settle on the ground next to him. “how come you’re out here every time there’s a party?”
“too loud,” he explains, letting his head rest against the wall as he starts to feel the buzz kicking in. “that, and to get away from all my adoring fans of course.”
this makes you laugh and theo, in his tipsy state, adorns a lazy grin at the sound, not bothering to hide that he’s looking at you.
“i don’t think there was a single girl who didn’t try chatting you or your friends up in there,” you shake your head, amused.
theo swallows, noticing the way you’re fiddling with the hem of your dress and he wonders if it bothers you. he blames the vodka for making him so bold when he says, “you and your friends didn’t.”
“my friends are scared of you,” you reply, raising your eyebrows as if to ask him if he’s surprised. “they think you’re always glaring at me.”
“nah,” he mumbles, looking at you through slightly hooded eyes. the dimly lit corridor makes your skin glow in a way that has him feeling a bit in awe, and he finds himself blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. “have they considered i’m staring at you because i think you’re fit?”
he promptly wants to punch himself in the face.
weirdly enough, you don’t look taken aback. you tilt your head as if pleasantly surprised, and your lips quirk up into the ghost of a smirk. “i have to say that explains a lot.”
“how so?” he asks, hesitant to know your answer. his heart stutters when you move closer to him and get up slightly to crouch beside him. your fingers reach out to tuck some of his hair behind his ear and he freezes, utterly still.
“well,” you say softly, a teasing glimmer in your eyes. “every time you speak to me the tips of your ears turn pink.”
and then you get up and leave and theo thinks his face has gone numb. he doesn’t remember much else from that evening, but the next morning his friends are asking him why he looks like he wants to kill someone.
he doesn’t know how to tell them that the someone he’s wanting to kill is himself for telling you he thinks you’re fit.
channeling the embarrassment into something useful, he tries to focus all his energy on the quidditch match he’s in against ravenclaw.
it goes by in a blur and somehow they’ve won, and theo thanks his lucky stars that they have because draco would surely have killed him for throwing the match due to being distracted.
the others run off quickly to the common room to celebrate, and theo tells them he’ll be right there, allowing himself to linger in the changing rooms for some peace and quiet before the inevitable celebrations.
“hey.”
he spins around, still in uniform with sweat dampening his hair and his green eyes fall on you in surprise. “uh. hi. what are you doing here?” he asks, uncertainly after the events of the night before. he hopes to Godric his ears are covered right now.
“just came to congratulate you,” you say with a playful smile.
theo’s brows furrow and his shoulders involuntarily slump slightly. he isn’t sure what he expected you to say, but it wasn’t that. “oh.”
you push yourself off the doorframe and enter the room, slowly walking closer to him. he’s never been more grateful for deodorant in his life.
“and one more thing,” you add, inching closer still.
“mhm?” theo is practically holding his breath in anticipation, and when you reach out to gently touch his arm, he stiffens for a second.
“i think you’re fit too.”
a startled laugh leaves him at your whispered words and instead of saying thank you, he finds himself stepping forward to clear the air and say what he’s been thinking since the party.
“i don’t think you’re fit,” he starts, face dropping when your smile falters. “shit, no, i mean you are. fuck,” he breathes out, dragging a hand down his face.
you take in the faint blush creeping up his neck that definitely wasn’t there right after he finished the match and allow him a second to gather himself.
“you’re beautiful,” he stammers, closing the gap between the two of you in earnest. he faintly registers the fact that he’s practically towering over you and leans down in an attempt to be less intimidating. “like, crazy beautiful. i meant to say that yesterday instead of sounding like an absolute twat, but i mean, what else is new when i’m around you-“
you cut him off by grabbing him by the collar of his quidditch jersey and pulling him down to press your lips against his in a firm, unyielding kiss. he stiffens, hands hovering uncertainly at his sides for a moment as though he’s frozen, but it isn’t long before he’s reacting, as though he’s suddenly woken up.
his hands find your waist immediately, pulling you into him and straightening up slightly to deepen the kiss, pulling you up slightly to stand on your tiptoes as your lips slot against his.
theo breaks the kiss to meet your eyes with his own wide ones, rushing out words between kisses. “i don’t think you understand just how long…” he exhales into your mouth, kissing you firmly. “i’ve been wanting to do…” he nips at your bottom lip, making you gasp. “this,” he finishes, grinning into the kiss when you melt against him.
theo takes the opportunity to reach his hands down to your thighs, lifting you up and carrying you over to the wall where he’s suddenly kissing you with a new confidence, moving to pepper kisses down your jaw and onto your neck.
you tuck a finger under his chin to lift his face up to yours where you match his grin, your lips swollen and eyes glazed over. he’s never seen a more beautiful sight.
“took you long enough.”
Tumblr media
a/n cont.; I hate this soooo bad it was meant to be a silly little drabble and now it’s a block of uncapitalised mess but I’d put too much time into it (less than a day) so here u are I GUESS. take a shot every time I write a kiss that starts exactly that way
434 notes · View notes
scribblue · 2 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
@acksolotel618 Got inspired by this post and ended up using it as a writing prompt for a short scene with Zane and Garmadon!!
You can read it on Ao3 here , or after the cut
❆ A Lesson In Humanity ❆
Zane speaks to Garmadon about their shared history of being manipulated emperors.
{ 940 words, no major warnings }
"I was once like you."
The words landed heavily on Garmadon's shoulders, yet with further consideration he refused to believe they carried any real weight. Merely a vapid placation, or worse, outright mocking. He furrowed his brow. "You couldn't possibly understand me, metal man."
Zane stared back evenly. His eye contact was unwavering, unnatural. It felt as though he could see through Garmadon's very chemical makeup, and was intent on dissecting him down to his barest components like a hunk of biological technology. The nindroid stood on the catwalk connecting their underground base of operations to the elevator up to the monastery. The rest of the ninja had left to take a break, following a particularly intense—and unsuccessful— training session between Lloyd and Garmadon. Garmadon had to admit his surprise, if only internally, at the company he now found himself forcibly entertaining; Zane had never made an effort to speak to him one-on-one, and the cold shoulder was reciprocated.
"You are free to believe that, if a sense of individuality brings you comfort,” Zane said. “However, it is an inaccurate assessment."
Garmadon rolled his eyes. "Thank you for reminding me why we never spoke. You may leave now,” he said, waving a hand to dismiss him. 
Zane remained. An unsurprising development, and an aggravating one. "Do you not wish to know of our similarities?”
A frown crossed Garmadon’s face, and curiosity clouded his thoughts. He was quick to disperse it with a shake of his head; Zane was clearly trying to get under his skin, force his guard down so that he would ease up on Lloyd. It would never work. Mastering Oni form took an iron fist, not a distracted mind. He turned away and clasped both sets of hands behind his back, pretending to focus on the computers for a long moment.
Not long enough, evidently, as Zane made his continued presence known. “I am going to tell you anyway.”
“Great,” Garmadon muttered.
“When I was trapped in the Never Realm, I was manipulated into becoming the Ice Emperor: a cold and ruthless entity who spared no one in his quest for retaining power. My true self was hidden from me for sixty years, until Lloyd helped me restore it,” Zane said, a waver of emotion in his robotic voice. “It has been some time since it happened, yet I still feel the effects of this event to this day.”
“Hmm.” Garmadon pressed a couple buttons on the keyboard in an attempt to make his distraction look convincing. “I fail to see how that relates to me.”
He heard Zane take a small step forward. “When you became Emperor of Ninjago, that emperorship was predicated on lies and manipulation by Harumi. She encouraged you to reject your humanity, just as my advisor Vex did to me. And I am willing to bet you have also suffered lasting effects.”
Garmadon scoffed. “Please,” he said, turning a tight-lipped scowl towards Zane. “I am an oni, I never had humanity to reject…that is, until Vinny of NGTV news took me under his council. And even so, such humanity would not benefit me here. Lloyd needs to learn to release his oni form, and I can assure you I am in the perfect condition to do so—no ‘lasting effects’ as you say.”
“Perhaps that is true. Or perhaps you only wish it to be.” Zane’s pointed stare finally wavered, drifting to some far-off corner of the room. “I have spent much of my own spare time wrestling with the reality of my situation, versus what I wish to believe… It is difficult to grapple with the truth that I have hurt innocent people while under another’s influence. It sometimes holds me back from being the best version of myself that I can be, for fear of hurting others again.”
That did sound familiar, not that Garmadon was willing to admit it out loud. He was often plagued with memories of his short-lived reign over Ninjago, and the atrocities committed under his hand. He was loath to say he regretted any of them, in fact he wasn’t sure he was even capable of regret– nonetheless, the flashbacks were bothersome, and the more he attempted to embody “goodness”, the more frequent they became. “So…what? You believe I am compromised in some way? I can assure you I’m not.”
“I believe you have begun the process of betterment, without addressing the root of the issue.”
“...And what might that be?”
“Your relationship with Lloyd. You hurt Lloyd during your time as Emperor. Now, your beliefs and goals are changing, but you have not mended the rift that has grown between the two of you, or attempted to grapple with the effects your actions have on both yourself and others… you cannot expect to find success in the present, until you face your past,” Zane said. His even tone and matter-of-fact delivery did nothing to lessen the blow of his words. “You may not believe it, but Lloyd is your humanity. As he was mine, when I needed it most. Do not forget that he needs you too.”
Something twinged in Garmadon’s chest. He had half a mind to blame it on his incomplete resurrection, and perhaps that truly was the case; complicated emotions could simply be a byproduct of his botched vessel. He averted his gaze and said nothing. 
Zane didn’t attempt to break the silence, either. He lingered for just a moment longer, before turning heel and wordlessly leaving the room, where Garmadon remained alone with his thoughts. 
“…I won’t,” he said, knowing there was nobody there to hear him.
52 notes · View notes
whocaresstillthelouvre · 1 day ago
Text
get to know your moots
Thank you for the tags @ace-turned-confused, @beefrobeefcal, @sp00kymulderr --- what's the origin of your blog title?: Escaping reality one run-on sentence at a time. Easy. I use run-on sentences in the fiction I write to escape reality. 🫡
OTP(s) + shipname: Idk. Like, Gordon Brittas and Laura? So I guess like.. Laurdon? Arthur Morgan and Sadie Adler? Me and Pedro Pascal. Maldro, if you will.
favorite color: Orange. A very specific orange too. Tangerine Tease. Pantone #17-1349 Do I know that # by heart? Of course I do.
favorite game: The Sims, Red Dead Redemption 2, Assassins Creed Valhalla, the noises that Balatro makes when my husband plays it.
song stuck in your head: "Never Run Away" by Kurt Vile.
weirdest habit/trait?: Too much self reflection here. Maybe the way I say certain words? Breb, birb, chippies. Or like do I just mention I'm freakishly good at multiplication? People make fun of how high pitched my sneezes are. I also will run a mile to avoid a moth. (besides @mothandpidgeon)
hobbies: Writing, baseball, cooking, losing the PS5 media remote.
if you work, what's your profession?: I'll just paste my normal Mallory tagline. I sell toys for a living, that should tell you enough.
if you could have any job you wish what would it be?: Probably like the secret girlfriend/wife of a 49 year old Chilean born actor. Or interior designer. Sometimes I dream of going back to school for it.
something you're good at: Tossing something in the air and catching it over and over. Losing the PS5 media remote.
something you're bad at: Not feeling overwhelmed by laundry. Not losing the PS5 media remote.
something you love: When I find the PS5 media remote quickly.
something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: Baseball, my favorite music, Jimmy Stewart, Disney World.
something you hate: MOTHS (sans @mothandpidgeon), weird 70's fabric that's itchy, Freddy Krueger, the lack of Martian Manhunter in DC properties.
something you collect: Lapel pins, action figures, tchotchkes, cool picture frames, Joey Votto cards. I own four Disney Cuddleez (Wicket, Grogu, Figment, Donald) I think that's a lot for a woman in her 30's.
something you forget: To leave my car sunglasses in the car.
what's your love language?: My Scottish ass is definitely not answering physical touch. Acts of service and giving/receiving gifts.
favorite movie/show: 28 Days Later/Anything Smosh has done the past few years.
favorite food: Sandwiches. Your girl loves mayo.
favorite animal: Otters, birbs, quokkas, cats (though my husband is allergic to them), Schnauzers.
what were you like as a child?: So many of my toddler photos include me, mouth wide open, sans pants... lookin' like a terror. Though, my parents say I was very well behaved (until teenagedom) sooooo I guess wacky but within the rules allowed.
favorite subject at school?: English, history and art. I really loved earth science.
least favorite subject?: Math once algebra entered my life.
what's your best character trait?: Good question. I think I've very good at reading people and adjusting myself to help to improve their mood. I'm incredibly empathetic.
what's your worst character trait?: Impostor syndrome. Being incredibly empathetic.
if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be?:
Tumblr media
if you could travel in time who would you like to meet?: Groucho Marx and Marquis de Lafayette. I think they'd get along WONDERFULLY.
recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!): I think about The Road Not Taken by @guiltyasdave often. It's so gorgeous and haunts me in the best way possible.
No Pressure Tags: @ohheypedrito, @mothandpidgeon, @schnarfer, @devineconjuring, @secretelephanttattoo @sawymredfox, @almostfoxglove, @maggiemayhemnj, @yourcoolauntie, @yopossum @hellfire-state-of-mind, @justagalwhowrites, @thelightsandtheroses, @bitchesuntitled, @jennaispunk
27 notes · View notes
joelmillerisapunk · 3 days ago
Text
get to know your moots
ty for the tags loves <3 @probablyreadinsmut @itwasntimethatdidit40 @ace-turned-confused @thundermartini @kedsandtubesocks and @reddedmiller
what's the origin of your blog title?: me being an uncreative basic bitch. but it's fine we are suffering through the consequences of the most uncreative username of all time.
OTP(s) + shipname: me, joel miller AND javier pena <3
favorite color: black and mint green (yes ik its very specific idk really what to say I even have a tattoo that is partially this color lol)
favorite game: rdr2, dreamlight valley, tlou, bg3, mariooooo, zelda, assasins creed
song stuck in your head: hold the line - toto and whatever is on my fic playlist
weirdest habit/trait?: probably a lot but the most annoying as a lot of us have mentioned is assuming no one really likes me. but also doing that thing where you start a task and then see something else that has to be done so by the time you have finished you've begun 50 other tasks
hobbies: video games, reading, writing stories, poems and music, pretending I can bake cute aesthetic things I find on Instagram reels, calligraphy, collecting sea glass and sea shells.
if you work, what's your profession? i worked on a cow farm
if you could have any job you wish what would it be? a sugar baby, someone who lives on a beach, but really anything in music bts or in front or a psychologist but instead I went to school two times for things I did not end up staying with haaaaaa
something you're good at: giving you compliments until you tell me to stfu
something you're bad at: i like this answer so same -> putting myself first, also as it's been said a few times socializing, and flirting
something you love: documentaries ommmg jdkfdakjf <3 <3, downtime when I can have it, also I always forget how much I love the sun until this time of year, hearing a favorite song you haven't heard in a long time, watching stuff with people whether its movies or youtube videos or shows
something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: video games, music, joel miller, the octopus lifecycle, Shakespeare, fun bts facts of my favorite movies and tv shows (I could spend days upon days looking up facts about how movies and shows are made and the little details in each of my favorite movies and shows)
something you hate: when its too hot or too cold, when I do that thing and don't buy snacks to be "healthy" and then wish I had a snack and math.
something you collect: i was collecting miniatures until they all got lost in a move, sea shells, coca cola memrobilia, Marilyn Monroe memorabilia, coral, anything vintage, trauma, and wips
something you forget: what don't I forget
what's your love language?: acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch
favorite movie/show: beauty and the beast, most keanu reeves movies as I've been binging them lately, lotr, how to lose a guy in 10 days, donnie darko,
favorite food: potatoes any day, any way, any form
favorite animal: cows, platypus', whales and dolphins
what were you like as a child? the quiet kid who was basically a mute because anxiety sucks and being perceived is frightening - lemme just fade into the floor
favorite subject at school? psychology, english because we could read Shakespeare and really cool books, science, music class, history, french, home ec, woodshop
least favorite subject? math and phys ed cause ya girl ain't a runner but yet they're all like "ohh its not that hard" but bro you're not even doing it
what's your best character trait? why are these questions so hard though? like idk my ability to make people feel comfortable?? i feel weird answering this lol
what's your worst character trait? i guess my inability to put myself first still and my dad jokes and sometimes I get quiet because I have a huge fear of rejection or abandonment
if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? that I was on vacation instead of driving around for hours today or sleeping more that'd be great
if you could travel in time who would you like to meet? Beethoven, Shakespeare, my grandparents, Marilyn Monroe, John Lennon, Frida Kahlo, idkkkk
recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!): there's so many this is rude asking for one so I'll give you two series. recently I read late night texts by @jolapeno and the wolf you feed by @arcanefox207 these series changed my brain chemistry for the best. I could scream on every rooftop in the world about these to every person in the world like please READ THEM!!!
npt: @arcanefox207 @gothcsz @syd-djarin @sunshinehaze1 @sunshineispunk @milla-frenchy @aurorawritestoescape @604to647 @myownwholewildworld @evolnoomym @slimybeth69 @almostfoxglove @lotusbxtch @baronessvonglitter me smooching you all through the phone <3 <3 <3 cause you all deserve every ounce of love and joy in the whole world
Tumblr media
34 notes · View notes
karmathehalflander · 2 days ago
Text
Don’t be sorry at all I’m doing a little jig of joy about someone finally actually understanding the point of the musical and having being the same takes as me.
Yes!!!! They are all morally grey and that’s the point! No, Evans actions were not excused he lost all of his few friends, has an even more strained relationship with his mother than ever, and his mental health is worse than before the musical. He’s not supposed to be completely hated. But the show never try’s to make you view Evan as being an entirely good person, it just try’s to make you view him as complicated! With good and bad in him! (I will say the marketing Isn’t good at portraying this but the musicals intention is clear)
Conner is autistic is the realest take and you’re so right about it. I could rant about that forever. I think most of the cast are at least neurodivergent coded. I kind of wished it was addressed actually in the show but whatever
ZOE!!!!! I love her so much. I think she’s extremely realistic for a 16 year old in a broken household. She is doing her best but sometimes that’s not enough but that’s ok because she’s flawed! Like everyone else!
Not liking Jared is so real because I also don’t love him as a character. I know he’s kind of a fan fave but honestly he felt more unnecessarily mean than everyone else. The way he treated Evan was actually fucked and we never get an explanation for why he’s so mean. I assume that he’s probably just emotionaly repressed and seeking connection the only way he knows how but god damn man. And then he actively participated in and encouraged Evan to continue with his lie and yea… Jared’s kind of growing on me but he still makes me so mad. Also all of his gratuitous gay jokes got very annoying to me. I just don’t think he was well thought out (comedy relief usually aren’t)
And Heidi! People act like she was an innocent angel who did nothing wrong. But unintentionally or not, she was very absent and while she was doing her best I don’t blame Evan at all for seeking comfort, financial support, and parental guidance from other adults. And I don’t think it was fair for her to be upset with him over that. She’s trying though and I adore her.
I’m going to cut myself off now or I’ll be writing reactions to all your absolutely correct takes all night. Thank you so much for writing this it makes me so happy to see people seeing the show for what it is
Tumblr media
69 notes · View notes
undyingserpula · 5 months ago
Note
Are you still allowed to make your art?
Yes. I hardly do it on my own anymore though... I do it mostly for the camera now. The viewers like it.. He calls it.. Art therapy.. For the stream... It's an occasional after-show program.
4 notes · View notes
icewindandboringhorror · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
139 notes · View notes
greasydumbfuck · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
favorite frank is. frank with kids. this guy was meant to be a dad
92 notes · View notes
grossillygirl · 3 months ago
Text
im sad. extremely sad actually yeah. very sad indeedy.
15 notes · View notes
thorntopieces · 3 months ago
Text
trying to dispel the curse of (irrationally) feeling unloved and unwanted by reading my friends' messages to me vs my parents being inconvenienced by me asking for the bare minimum of help
6 notes · View notes
nonuggetshere · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
I'm gonna continue with the requests later, but I also felt the need to doodle my two PVs with a little bit of gender on the side
They're both still very much genderless, but because not every non-binary/agender person will have the same perception/feelings regarding their gender and won't have the same gender presentation, I decided to mess around with it a little
Hallow is genderfluidv(though after some consideration I realised agenderflux describes them more accurately, but oh well, these labels don't even exist in their story so who cares), they're non-binary but their alignment fluctuates between fem-leaning, masc-leaning, something in-between and neither. They're fine with any terms and pronouns but mostly go by they/them.
Luna is genderfae/transfem, their gender fluctuates between agender and fem-aligned non-binary. They mostly go by they/them and gender-neutral and feminine terms, they're fine with she/her and some neopronouns, but any masculine terms and pronouns are a big no-no for them. Currently, I'm considering making them an enby lesbian, but that might change in the future.
#spooky arts#hollow king au#I swear this is the longest I've ever spent considering what labels would describe a character. I myself have a weird relationship with#labels so I only ever think about what people would a character be into and how their gebder 'feels' like and never go into details#I spent like an hour looking for a term that could describe how I imagined Luna's gender LMAO#Hallow is mostly me projecting. Luna is 75% me wanting to explore a situation where the pure vessel comes out as trans after they're found#out that they're not hollow. And 25% spite for all the people who call them he/him#So you know how some enby lesbians describe their gender as like. The only connection to womanhood they feel is their attraction to women?#That's kind of the vibe I get from Luna. They're enby just very sliiightly titled towards womanhood#They're also a teen and in a scenario where all the different AU hollows interact they'd bond a lot with Hallow as the only other person#who went through the same confusing gender feelings as they are going through right now.#They're kind of like 'man I wish I was a girl sometimes so I could be called princess and wear dresses' 'you know you can just do that#right?' 'I CAN?'#Also even though they're fine with different pronouns I'm still just gonna be using they/them on my blog for them. Bc I know some people#are weird about Hollow's gender and refuse to acknowledge theyre enby or keep misgendering them 🙄 I don't wanna add to that#We give a little bit of gender fuckery to the vessels though. They deserve it.#But yeah I still wanna be clear. Their genders fluctuate in alignment but they're still very much agender/genderless. Please don't treat#them like binary people 😭
60 notes · View notes
dkniade · 1 year ago
Text
Translating Neuvillette’s Opening Chest (II) & Joining Party (I) Voicelines
UEEE SO YOU UNDERSTAND
(An attempt to translate based on what little I know of his character.) I will show the Chinese line, then the official English localization, then my English translation, then some thoughts on the word choice in Chinese, and English localization. For the first voiceline, I’ll also show the Japanese localization and my English translation of it, to support a claim.
Game: Genshin Impact
Developer: miHoYo / HoYoverse
Fan Localizations: Dusk
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Opening Treasure Chest: II
(Original Chinese)
是不错的东西吗?至少打开它的一瞬间是不错的心绪吧。
.
(Official English Translation)
Is it what you wished to find? Hopefully, the excitement of opening a treasure chest has at least made it a worthwhile experience.
.
(My Chinese-to-English Translation)
Is it something nice? At least the split moment of opening it felt nice, right…?
(Official Japanese Localization)
悪くない代物か?少なくとも、開けた瞬間の期待感は、心地良いものだったのだろう。
(My Japanese-to-English translation)
Is it something nice? Even if it’s not a lot, the anticipation you felt the moment you opened it was pleasant, right…?
.
THE FLEETING MOMENT OF ANTICIPATION UE UE
(@ EN ver: my, so formal Monsieur Neuvillette)
It feels to me like Neuvillette doesn’t know what’s in the chest, so he asks if the Traveler—who’s opening the chest—has found something nice. But then it seems he automatically assumes that the Traveler is disappointed at the treasure, so then he assures them that—and this is key—at least the split moment between opening the chest itself and seeing the treasure inside felt nice. (Morphologically, Mandarin Chinese doesn’t really have affix-based verb tenses like English so it’s a bit hard to explain.) It’s so sad… Why does he assume that… I mean, as players we might be more excited to open a chest than to see what random artifacts/materials/weapons are inside, but in-universe, why would Neuvillette say something like this, I wonder…
Though, 心绪 (xīnxù) is a literary word that means state of mind, but that word usually refers to negative emotions (compared to 心情 / xīnqíng which can refer to both positive and negative emotions), so I’m not sure why Neuvillette would use it in a positive sense. You could say it’s because he doesn’t understand human emotions well, but linguistically speaking, Genshin Impact text in general often has Chinese sentences in a strangely wordy structure or overly complicated/fancy word choice, to the point that it either feels like a weird translation, or that it’s just not a syntactic structure native speakers would use (e.g. using too many prepositions where it could all be omitted and simply implied)
Still, 心绪 alone doesn’t make the tone of the whole Chinese line formal, compared to its official English localization. I can’t comment as much on the Japanese localization, but content wise it’s much closer to Chinese, since the two languages are more similar… It seems the Japanese localization is politely casual too since he uses the casual verb form.
Another important thing: In the Chinese line, the second sentence starts with 至少 (zhìshǎo) which is at least, and ends in the question particle 吧 (ba) which marks uncertainty at the end of a declarative sentence. This makes the sentence structure something like a rhetorical question such as At least [statement], right? (E.g. At least it’s not raining, right?) even though it’s not marked with a question mark. This tone is… quite difficult to translate. It’s common in Chinese (and I believe Japanese too) for rhetorical questions or casual comments/observations to end in a period, but it’s not so in English (unless it’s social media, like Tumblr, right).
Joining Team: I
(Original Chinese)
感谢你许可…嗯,邀请我同行。
.
(Official English Localization)
Thank you for permitting— No, inviting me to join you.
.
(My English Translation)
Thank you for permitting… Ahem, inviting me to travel with you.
.
Official translation is good here. Granting permission vs invitation huh… Is it out of formality or does he feel so out of place with humans that he thinks he needs permission to even join them on their journey
(There’s that rhetorical question again)
28 notes · View notes
Text
why is everything (showing other people respect. being patient and kind. not flying off the handle about stupid things. emotional regulation and self-control. et cetera.) so easy when I'm not around my parents and so so so so hard when I AM around them?
73 notes · View notes
cosmogyros · 23 days ago
Text
.
#i think getting nearly firecracker-bombed the other evening affected me more than i realized at the time#because this has been by far the worst new year's ever for me#in the past i was never more than mildly annoyed by it and even enjoyed the midnight fireworks climax#but i think i might have actually gotten a bit traumatized by that experience two days ago#and hadn't acknowledged it to myself / processed it. as today/tonight has demonstrated#it's past 3 a.m. now and i'm still crying too hard to sleep#and my whole body has been shaky for the past... 10 hours. or so.#even though the fireworks at midnight weren't really that bad at all#not even close to being as terrifying as the three explosions earlier this evening#which in their turn were easily outdone by the street explosion on saturday night that deafened me#i think i may be having a legit delayed trauma response to that now#re-triggered every time a firework goes off near me#i've never been someone who feels much fear#i feel stress and anger and discomfort and i worry and overthink sometimes#i've done a lot of things in my life while thinking 'well. this might be about to kill me. but we all die someday'#and never till this weekend did i feel terror on this level#(a technically unjustified terror too. bc inside my flat i'm almost 100% safe. so that again suggests a trauma response)#i don't think i've ever cried from sheer fear for my safety before#and every post i see saying 'happy new year' makes me feel sick bc it reminds me of this horrible weekend#it's wild how my lifelong feelings about fireworks could change so completely in the course of just three days#for the first time in my life i feel the need for one of those drugs that blunts your emotions and helps relax you#what is that... xanax or something like that? how do you get it? do you need a prescription?#i feel like a doctor would just scoff if i told them that NYE fireworks traumatized me so bad i need medication now#i've been trembling for hours. i'm so tired. i wish i could sleep#*three days ago
2 notes · View notes
kitkatcadillac · 4 months ago
Text
i have this situation where i love talking about the queer experience particularly in the gender way, as nebulously as possible, when it comes to some sort of broader view or Other People's Experiences making Sense to me
but when i try to kind of face my own gender and thoughts i get like. scared and embarrassed to just Say It, i always have. the they/them out for may/hem jokes are one thing, but talking about my own raw and varied experience of not fitting into the binary, no matter how much i completely respect, support, and cheer on others experiences with it, its so... embarrassing. i cant face my own body a lot of the time. i hardly want anything to do with any gender most of the time, but the rest of the world operates with it really quite forthwith, and like. you can only ignore it so hard, where you fit in, or where you DON'T. where you never hardly ever see anyone else feel quite the way you do, so you feel like you're fake and invalid or doing transgender wrong 😭 (everyone else is fine and right and in charge of their life courageously though)
constantly in a push and pull of relaxing and letting myself find and affirm my identity as i best can with where im at physically, mentally, but also feeling very isolated and even shut down or shunned. the world feels like a box that gets smaller while i feel like the box shouldnt even exist at all sometimes, like it isnt that hard to just keep open and treat it like its just as plain a fact as the grass is green the sky is blue instead of something to pick apart or criticize...
im queer but im queer wrong sometimes, socially. and since im queer wrong sometimes socially, my lived-experience being queer isnt really valid due to being contrarian and so i shouldnt have much to say or have any valid reflections of the experiences around me!!! <-(feelings not reality, but important feelings to be worked through and understood and soothed, which can be difficult when relating or socializing comes with a difficulty increaser!!!!)
5 notes · View notes
gilgil-machine · 2 months ago
Text
.
#whenever I scroll through like Twitter or Bluesky or tumblr I see a lot of people making stuff with their oc#or like yume stuff with their fave characters and it makes me go like ''oh I'd love to do that too''#but then I remember that Gilgamesh would never like look towards me because I visually don't appeal to his tastes#nor my like character wouldn't pick up his interest because I'm a boring loser and a coward and sometimes it really puts me down#and yeah I know it's stupid but I just can't help myself😅#and I know that some of you might come to me and say words of support and I would appreciate them#but I'm writing this not to pity party myself but to just lift this weight out of my chest#and I have a friend of mine and we know each other since the childhood like we went to the same kindergarten#and I remember her always being determined and ahe always stood up for herself and was never afraid to voice her opinions#and I always admired her for that because because I always stayed quiet during the arguments or try to avoid them completely#or whenever someone was bullying me I always just burst into tears and just ran away#and I sometimes hate myself for being weak but I just can't do anything about it#and recently this friend she went into military and even though I worry about her and support her#I just can't help myself and not feel envious (in a good way) because of her bravery and determination to make that choice#and just throw her into this challenge despite all of her worries doubts and consequences that she might face#like I can't even call a dentist to make an appointment without being anxious#while she's ready to throw herself into the pits of hell despite fear and everything#like my friend is like that perfect image of a person that Gilgamesh would look upon with admiration and some respect#and I wish I could be like that too#I wish I could be the person which Gil would praise rather than look upon like on a piece of trash...#anyway sorry for ranting and thank you for reading if you did#these thoughts have been eating me for quite awhile and I wanted to voice them at least somewhere#personal
3 notes · View notes