#i have to make my decisions on them. in like. time not like Right Away but you know fjdj
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“you don’t see the vision like I do. I think we should call off this engagement.”
“I’m seeing the vision!” percy protests, dramatically latching onto your cheeks with his palms. “I see it! with my two working eyes, I’m seeing it firsthand!”
you close your own eyes. “tell me what you see.”
“a big room. the basement. it’s empty. but then we add in, like, fifteen bookshelves and fill them up with all of your books. and! wait— we could add those string lights around the tops of them!”
you gasp and your eyes shoot open. “holy fucking shit! that’s genius, percy!”
“really—”
his question is cut short by your mouth over his. it’s an all-messy kiss; teeth clashing, noses bumping into each other, and lips barely even touching as you devour him.
you allow the almost uncomfortable kiss to linger for only seconds longer before you pull away. percy’s cheeks are flushed, tinted red, green eyes dilated.
his mouth opens to speak but closes quickly. but not before reopening again and then repeating the same process.
you make sure your pages are bookmarked before letting your novel slide from your lap as you sit up to cup percy’s like he had previously done to you.
you kiss his nose twice. “I think it’s a great idea.”
“I… can tell.”
you peck his nose again, though slipping your arms slowly around his shoulders as you move to straddle him. “come back to me, my love.”
percy inhales and takes ahold of your waist. “you’re making it hard to think, sweet girl.”
“hmm. quite unfortunate. anyways, I don’t want my books packaged. I want to bring them myself.”
“okay… okay that’s fine, you can do that.” his hands rub your skin soothingly. to soothe you or him he’s unsure of.
“thank you.” you plant a small kiss to his mouth, proper this time around. “I love you.”
“I…” percy chases your lips before you can entirely pull away. two kisses later he reciprocates, “I love you too.”
you repeat— kiss him again and again and again a third time just because you can.
“what’re we up to tomorrow?”
“what if we just stay in bed? all day?”
you consider. “maybe. we still have more planning to do though.”
percy sighs theatrically and kisses you again. four times. “or we could take a break from that.”
you fake gasp. “percy! that’s fine… it’s fine. if you don’t want to get married that’s okay.”
“that’s not—” he fumbles for words, ultimately ending up kissing your pouting lip. “I want— need to marry you. I would marry you right now if you let me.”
“no.”
“don’t complain then.” percy pinches your waist, attaching his mouth to yours simultaneously to stifle your small yelp.
you tug at his hair in response to this, but unsurprisingly he enjoys that far too much, displayed by the uncontrollable groan he lets out into your mouth.
you break apart quickly. “stop. no more of this nonsense. I have to get back to my book, you’re distracting me.”
“I’m not— wait— no— this should be a fifty-fifty decision.”
in your attempt to climb off his lap, percy tightly latches onto your waist and looks at you with a gaze showing that he almost physically needs your lips back against his.
“elaborate?”
“you’ve been reading all day. I miss you.”
you sigh slowly. “and what do I get if I put my book down for the remainder of the night?”
“the best sex of your life.”
it takes everything in you not to burst out laughing. “and to you, this is a fair deal…?”
“yes. I wash your hands you wash mine.” he pauses for a second. “wait— that’s wrong… what’s that saying… that one about you do something and I do something…”
you furrow your brows. “I have no fucking clue. you’re just babbling nonsense.”
“well you know what I mean.”
unfortunately, you do.
you nod and shrug.
“so is this an agreement to my proposition?”
you consider. and think.
“you have yourself a deal!”
#xoxochb#this is nonsense and I’m falling asleep okay#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#pjo series#pjo fandom#pjo#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson x y/n#percy jackson x you#riordanverse x reader#riordan universe#riordanverse
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Sirius found the letter buried in a drawer beneath old birth certificates and pure blood family trees. It was crinkled and yellowed, not meant to be read. Not by him.
"Male, by parental choice," it said. Words clinical. Detached.
He read it three times before the words lost shape, swimming behind the sting in his eyes. His hands trembled, the paper fluttering like wings caught in a storm.
He had always known something didn’t fit quite right. The mirror never felt like a truth teller. His body, his voice, his bones, none of it quite belonged the way it seemed to for James, or Remus, or even Regulus.
But this? This was a decision. A fork in the road taken without him.
“They chose for me,” he whispered into the silence of the room. “They looked at me and decided what I’d be.”
Anger bloomed like fire in his chest. How could they? How could they hold that power and never think to let him hold it too?
It wasn’t that he didn’t love being Sirius. It was that Sirius should have had the choice to become himself. Not be sculpted by parents who only saw heirs and legacies.
He stood at the mirror now, shirt lifted, fingers tracing the lines of his body, not hating it, but questioning for the first time what it could have been. What it might still be.
Later, when he told Remus, voice cracking around the edges, he braced for confusion. Or worse, pity.
But Remus just listened. Quiet, steady.
“That was never their choice to make,” he said, voice like a grounding spell. “But it’s yours now. Whatever you want. However you feel. You’re still Sirius. And I love all the versions you’ve ever been or will ever be.”
Sirius breathed out. Shaky. Relieved.
James found Sirius on the Astronomy Tower. Legs pulled up, arms wrapped around his knees, hair tangled from the wind. It was too late for him to be up there alone, too cold not to have cast a warming charm. But Sirius hadn’t. He just sat there, eyes locked on the stars like they owed him answers.
James didn’t speak right away. Just sat beside him, shoulder to shoulder.
Sirius didn’t look at him. “You ever feel like your body isn’t really yours?” he asked softly.
James blinked, thrown by the quiet vulnerability. “Not… not really. Why?”
Sirius pulled a folded parchment from his coat pocket, crumpled from being read too many times. He handed it to James without a word.
James read it once. Twice. And slowly, his throat tightened. “Sirius—”
“I didn’t know,” Sirius interrupted, voice shaking. “They made the decision before I could even speak. Before I could be anything.”
He laughed, bitter and wet. “I always thought there was something wrong with me. That I wasn’t man enough. That maybe I was just broken.”
James looked at him, really looked. Sirius’ face was red, jaw clenched like he was holding back a scream. But the tears still slipped free, traitorous, and aching. He wiped at them harshly.
James put the paper down and wrapped an arm around him.
“You’re not broken,” he said. “You’re Sirius. You’re my brother. You’re the best person I know.”
Sirius choked on a sob and leaned into him, burying his face in James’ shoulder.
“I didn’t get to choose who I was supposed to be,” he whispered.
“But you do now,” James murmured. “And no matter what you choose, I’m not going anywhere. Alright?”
Sirius nodded, clinging a little tighter, as if he’d finally allowed himself to be held. The stars above kept shining, but for once, Sirius didn’t need them to light his way. He had James.
The next few weeks passed in subtle shifts. Nothing dramatic. Sirius didn’t burst out in the common room with a declaration or change his name overnight. But something in him loosened, like a thread finally freed from a too tight knot.
He started experimenting. Borrowed eyeliner from Marlene. Let Lily charm his hair into waves. Wore his shirts a little more open. Painted his nails black one day and didn’t say a word when someone asked. When Remus told him he looked cool, Sirius smiled like it actually reached somewhere deep.
The Marauders noticed, of course. James was the first to start referring to Sirius as “our hot mess of chaos and beauty.” Remus started calling him “love” instead of “mate” without missing a beat. Peter was awkward for about a week, then shyly asked if he could learn to braid Sirius’ hair for him.
Sirius didn’t always know what he wanted to be called. Some days, he was fine with “he.” Some days, “they” fit better. Once, when Remus called him “gorgeous girl” as a joke, Sirius surprised himself by not flinching.
But the important thing was that no one made him pick. Not right away. Not at all.
One evening, when they were sprawled out in the Gryffindor common room like always, Remus reading, James practicing wand twirls, Peter sketching something chaotic, Sirius spoke without warning.
“I think I might be both,” he said. “A boy and a girl. Or neither. Or something… in between.”
Remus looked up. “Okay,” he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world.
James grinned. “Mate, you could tell me you were a sentient cloud and I’d still throw hands for you.”
Peter blinked. “Do we still call you Sirius?”
“For now,” they said. Then smirked. “Unless you want to call me Empress Black.”
James clutched his heart. “I kneel, my liege.”
Remus rolled his eyes but leaned over to kiss Sirius’ temple. “Whoever you are,” he said quietly, “you’re ours.”
Sirius, for the first time in a long time, felt like maybe that body, however complicated it was, was finally starting to feel like theirs.
#one of my besties was intersex#intersex#marauders#sirius black x remus lupin#sirius black#dead gay wizards from the 70s#dead gay wizards#remus lupin x sirius black#remus lupin#james potter#peter petigrew#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#wolfstar#gryffindor#fanfiction
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I've Got You Under My Skin 6
Warnings: non/dubcon, marital troubles, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Steve Rogers
Summary: your husband is a very demanding man.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
Your head hits the cupboard as Steve ruts into you. You reach up to keep from bashing yourself further, curling your neck as he grips your hips and pounds into you. He's relentless.
Your legs are bent around his arms, his pants are at his ankles, and his breath is steaming around you. Your whine as the pleasure and pain mingles. You're happy to have him close again yet his furor is as much as you can handle. You put your fingertips on his stomach in a subtle effort to slow him.
You watch him pump into you. His thumbs dig into your flesh as he huffs, hunching as he rams with all his force, over and over. He drags you down onto your back and moan. He has your ass off the counter as he holds you aloft. He keeps his tempo as you put your palms to the wall, struggling to keep from hitting it.
You look down to see him fucking you. His eyes are stuck between your legs as he growls and grunts. His nails cut into you as he snarls through his nose. He bites the tip of his tongue and shakes as he loses all control.
He spills into with a series a spasmodic thrusts. You rub his stomach as he cums and he slows until he's still. He buries into you as deep as he can, until you whimper.
"Oof," you lift your head slightly. "Oh, that's... deep."
"I missed you, baby," he growls.
"I missed you too," you purr. He stays inside you.
He grabs your ankles and pulls your legs up. He holds them there, keeping you on your back. You squirm as he slides out little by little. His tip springs free and he lets your foot lean on his shoulder. He swipes his finger up through the gush of his cum and pushes it back into you.
"Gotta make sure you get all you can," he dips his fingers inside and you twitch.
"Yes, Stevie," you flutter your lashes.
"You're a good girl," he rubs you, smearing his cum all over. "And if you want to be really good, you're going to leave me inside you like that. Until I say so."
You blink at him and nod. "Yes, Captain."
"I don't care if it's leaking down your leg, you be good." He drops his hand and pinches your ass.
"Yes, Captain."
"Good," he grins and pulls away.
He steps up to the sink and washes his hands. He grabs a dish clothes and wipes his dick clean too. You slowly sit up and slide onto your feet. The cum cools along your thighs.
A sudden chime makes you twitch. You look at Steve. He zips up his pants.
"That must be company."
You stare at him.
"Sweetie, go get changed." He winks. "Put a dress on."
You swallow and walk away stiffly. When did he invite people over? Why? And couldn't he have warned you?
You flit away, your thighs sticking together and hurry upstairs. You switch out your sweaty shopping outfit for one of Steve's favourites. A short dress with short sleeves in a light shade of peach. You check yourself in the mirror and make sure you don't look like what just happened happened.
Bucky's voice carries as you come downstairs. That's not so bad. He's here all the time.
His wife is with him. Even better.
"Hey," you greet as they stand talking to Steve.
Bucky looks over his shoulder and lifts an eyebrow, saying hi back. His wife peeks back but says nothing. You come around to stand next to Steve.
"Well, how about a nice dinner?" Steve puts his hand on your lower back. "Nice little double date."
"Oh, sure," you agree. "We can whip something up, right?"
Bucky's wife nods. She goes to step away from him but flinches. She turns and kisses his bearded cheek. It dimples as he squeezes her hips then gives her a tiny nudge forward.
"Ah," you catch sight of her hand, splints along her fingers. "That looks like it hurts."
She glances down, her shoulders rise again.
"Keep her away from sharp objects," Bucky says. "She's clumsy."
You nod and wave her across the entryway. You lead her to the kitchen as she drags her soles noisily. You hum and look around thinking. You can do the salmon.
You go to the fridge and open it up. She stands by the counter, silent.
"That's a bummer. Is that your drawing hand?" You ask as you approach with the wrapped filets.
She looks at her wrapped hand and nods.
"Sorry, not to make it worse. That's just... I'm sure it'll heal quick."
She shakes her head and clears her throat. "It's not your problem."
"It's been a while," you chirp. "Missed ya."
"Sure. I was busy. Working but..." her hand twitches and she winces.
"Oh, yeah..."
"You and Steve, doing good?" She sniffs.
"Sure are," you answer as you set down the fish. You turn to the drawer and reach for it, but stop yourself from stepping into the glisten on the tile. Did she notice? Steve's cum is right there but your toes. You ignore it and grab cutting board. You face her again and smile. "Guess what?"
"What?" She utters flatly.
"We're gonna have a baby."
Her lashes flick and her brows arch. "You're pregnant?"
"Trying," you answer. "But I don't think it'll take very long."
You stare at her. You're disappointed by her lack of reaction.
"You're not happy for us?" You ask.
"If it makes you happy..." she replies then looks down at the counter. "Tell me what to do... " She pauses and lifts her hand, "that I can do."
#steve rogers#dark steve rogers#dark!steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#series#au#marvel#mcu#drabble#captain america#avengers#i've got you under my skin
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Fucked Up: John Shen x Reader
Tagging: @kmc1989 @miraclesabound @cannonindeez @fadeinsol @nommingonfood
Companion piece to:
Ashes - You take revenge on the first man your parents sold you to.
The Choice - In the wake of his brother’s suicide John goes against his parents’ wishes and makes a choice about his residency.
You Should See Me In A Crown - A chance encounter sparks the beginning of something special for John.
Dick Pics - You and John discuss your dating life in the ambulance bay during a rare shift break.
Brunch - John refuses to give up when you miss brunch with him.
Silly Little Boys (NSFW) - John's not like the other men you've been with.
In The Summer - You discover John's secret.
Tiger, Tiger - John reveals the truth between his engagement and his history.
Jack - John's mother opens up old wounds by giving John a copy of your DCFS file.
Bare (NSFW) - John and you commit to each other in a special way.
The Shirt - Jack realises that you're wearing a boyfriend shirt.
Tradition - Mrs Shen makes a decision regarding the wedding.
The Wedding Gift - John's dad brings out the worst in him.
Pandora's Box - John realises he's opened up Pandora's Box when his brother pays a visit.

You’re wearing John’s shirt when he lets himself into the house, the royal blue one from the Pittsburgh food fair. It falls just pass your ass, the hem brushing over the backs of your thighs as you stand barefoot in his kitchen making up two bowls of fruit laced granola and yogurt.
One for him. One for you.
You’ve been staying over a lot more since you switched to the day shift, these fleeting moments in between work and studying are all he gets to see of you and he treasures every single one of them. Your presence, it lingers in his home when you’re not there. Your scent on his pillow cases, the organised groceries in the fridge, the organic lavender soap he now uses every time the showers because it relaxes him.
“OK.” You begin without turning to face him. “So today, we have blueberries, strawberries and-” He wraps his arms around you, burying his face into the curve of your throat and you can feel the tension vibrating throughout in his body as he cradles you close. Your hands come to rest upon his, fingers sinking into the grooves of his knuckles.
“Bad night?” You ask him and he huffs into your shoulder.
“OK, so pretty bad then because you’ve gone non-verbal.” You say, your lips brushing over his temple. He exhales and you feel the rush of air leave his body as it sags against you. “Alright baby, let’s go take a shower, it’ll help you feel better.”
You leave the granola on the counter, your fingers threading through his as you lead him towards the bathroom. He follows compliantly, leaning against the vanity as you turn on the shower so that the water heats up.
“Can I undress you?” You ask.
He nods and you grasp the bottom of his shirt, guiding it up over his head and tossing it into the hamper. You work on his jeans next, unfastening them before you sink to your knees, working them down his muscular thighs along with his underwear. He steps out of them, standing naked and vulnerable before you as you raise to your feet.
“I fucked up my family.” He whispers, his forehead coming to rest on yours. “It’s all falling apart-”
“You didn’t fuck it up.” You say, your fingertips trailing along the five o’clock shadow on his jaw. “All you wanted was to be happy-.”
“You don’t understand-”
“I do.” You whisper, your fingertips trailing over the tattoo of his heart beat inked into his chest. “I’m probably the only person who can understand what you’re going through right now. I know what it’s like to feel that guilt, to watch things fall apart because you were strong enough to walk away, to question that decision. We both know that being married to Jia would have killed you, just like staying with my family would have killed me. Don’t come this far to let them claim your happiness, be happy despite them, despite all the shit they’ve put you though.”
“You talk a good game you know that?” John says, the edges of his mouth tipping up into a smile before he tilts his head towards the shower. “You getting in with me? I’m too fucked up for sex but I wanna feel close to you even if it is just for a couple of minutes.”
You strip off your shirt, throwing it into the hamper. “That I can certainly do.”
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#dr shen#john shen#john shen x reader#dr shen x reader#the pitt#the pitt max#the pitt hbo#the pitt 2025#the pitt fanfiction
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What are we? Chapter Eight
Ok, I just finished my first final, thank god that's over, so I decided to post chapter eight a day early, :)
Summer had come fast, but Azzi hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that something had been left behind on prom night—something fragile and unspoken.
That night was everything it was supposed to be on the surface: glitter, laughter, the swirl of slow songs and the flash of cameras. She and James looked good together, and everyone told them so. He was sweet, reliable, and he made her feel wanted—safe in a way that was easy to lean into.
But part of her had known the second Paige said “I’ll be back soon”—and the way her eyes didn’t quite match the smile—that things aren't simple anymore.
Still, Azzi had pressed forward. She let James pull her close under the lights, let herself pretend that nothing felt off, that Paige’s absence didn’t tug at her every time she turned her head. She took the video by the bonfire, laughing with James, sending it off to Paige like it was nothing.
But it wasn’t nothing.
She could feel it the moment she hit send.
Later, back at James’s house, they sat on the porch for a while, just the two of them. He handed her a soda and wrapped his arm around her shoulder like he always did. She smiled, leaned into him, but her mind kept drifting. She wasn’t drunk. She couldn’t even blame the night. It was a decision.
One she made knowing exactly what she was doing.
When they kissed, she didn’t stop. When things moved upstairs, she didn’t hesitate.
And when they finally lay tangled in his sheets, the air still warm and humming with the sounds of summer outside, Azzi closed her eyes and tried not to think about Paige at all.
The sun was already high when Paige pulled into Azzi’s driveway. The pavement shimmered with heat, and the old portable hoop stood in its usual place by the garage, faded and familiar. Azzi was already out there, braids swinging, draining mid range jumpers like it was nothing.
Paige grabbed a ball from her trunk, her muscles still stiff from sleeping weird at her dad’s. She hadn’t stopped thinking about the video. Not since she watched it. Not since she closed it way too quickly and lay awake, staring at the ceiling.
Now here Azzi was—same routine, same laugh, acting like everything was fine. Maybe it was. But something inside Paige needed to hear it.
They played in silence for a few minutes, just the sound of sneakers on pavement and the ball echoing against the backboard. Azzi fake-crossed her and spun into a layup, laughing when Paige barely tried to block it.
“You good?” Azzi asked, wiping sweat from her forehead. “You’re playing like a tired grandma.”
Paige forced a smile. “Just thinking.”
Azzi bounced the ball to her. “About what?”
Paige caught it and held it, not shooting. “The video you sent me.”
Azzi blinked, surprised. “What about it?”
“You know what,” Paige said, voice even but firm. “You were sitting on his lap, Az. His arm was around your waist. You were at his house after. You sent me that video, and then you went quiet.”
Azzi shrugged and turned her back. “It was prom. We were having fun. You’re overthinking it.”
“No, I’m not,” Paige said. “You don’t get to act like that’s nothing.”
Azzi picked up her ball and walked to the other side of the driveway. “You’re seriously making this a thing right now?”
“I’m not making it anything. You already did.”
Azzi turned, frustration starting to flare. “Paige, stop. It’s not a big deal.”
“It is to me,” Paige said, stepping closer. “Because if it was really nothing, you’d just say that. But the way you’re acting? It’s something.”
Azzi looked away, jaw clenched. Paige watched her, waiting, arms folded.
Finally, Azzi snapped. “Yeah, okay? We had sex. Me and James. After prom. Is that what you’re so upset about?”
Paige flinched, just a little, but didn’t move. Her voice was quieter now. “I just wanted you to tell me the truth.”
“Well, there it is,” Azzi said, voice rising. “We’re best friends, Paige. You’re supposed to be happy for me. Not—whatever this is. Mad. Possessive. Weird.”
“I’m not being weird—”
“Yes, you are!” Azzi shouted, the ball slamming to the pavement. “God, it’s like I can’t do anything without you watching me like I’m messing something up. You weren’t even there, and you’re still trying to make the night about you.”
Paige stared at her, heart hammering. “I’m not mad you were with James. I’m mad you didn’t tell me. I’m mad that you acted like I wouldn’t care when you knew I would.”
Azzi didn’t respond. She just shook her head, stormed past Paige, and yanked open the door to the house.
“Azzi—”
“I don’t want to do this right now,” she said, without turning around. Then the door slammed shut behind her.
Paige stood alone in the driveway, her ball rolling slowly toward the gutter.
And for the first time all summer, she didn’t feel like they were on the same team anymore.
Paige hesitated on the doorstep, her fingers twitching at her sides. She could’ve turned around. Could’ve walked back to her car and driven away. Let Azzi cool off. Let herself cool off.
But something about the look on Azzi’s face before she left—defensive, hurt, angry—clung to her ribs like static.
She stepped inside.
The house was cool and familiar. It smelled like basil and garlic, and the ceiling fan hummed gently from the living room. Paige kicked off her sneakers and made her way toward the kitchen, heart still thudding from the fight.
Azzi’s bedroom door was shut.
At the counter, Katie was chopping vegetables for dinner, sleeves rolled up, hair in a messy bun. She looked up the second she heard the door creak open.
“Everything okay?” she asked, her voice casual but lined with concern.
Paige rubbed the back of her neck. “Just… some dumb argument.”
Katie paused, her knife resting on the cutting board. “You guys are allowed to argue. You’re not fourteen anymore.”
Paige gave a short, humorless laugh. “Didn’t feel like we weren’t fourteen.”
Katie raised an eyebrow and leaned her hip against the counter. “Then maybe it’s time you start having disagreements like adults. Whatever just happened, it wasn’t that.”
Paige looked down at her shoes.
“I’m not picking sides,” Katie went on, “but I’m not letting you two sulk around my house and make dinner awkward, either. You’re best friends. Fix it. I don’t care who’s right.”
Paige sighed. “Yeah. Okay.”
She turned toward the hallway, dragging her feet a little as she made her way to Azzi’s door. It was closed, of course. She stood there for a second, just staring at it.
Then she knocked. Once. Quietly.
“Azzi?” she called, voice low. “Can we talk?”
There was a long pause. No answer.
Paige leaned her forehead against the door and exhaled. “Please.”
Azzi sat on the edge of her bed, legs crossed, arms tightly wrapped around a pillow. Her eyes were still burning, even though she hadn’t cried. Not really. She hated crying. Hated the lump in her throat even more.
The air felt heavy. Her phone was face-down on the nightstand, and she couldn’t stop replaying everything Paige had said. Everything she’d said. The whole thing had unraveled so fast. Too fast.
And now Paige was outside her door.
“Azzi?” The sound of her name was soft, muffled through the wood. “Can we talk?”
Azzi clenched her jaw, squeezing the pillow tighter. Her first instinct was to stay quiet. Let the silence do the talking for her.
But then Paige’s voice came again, even lower. “Please.”
Azzi closed her eyes.
We’re best friends. You’re supposed to be happy for me.
You weren’t even there, and you’re still trying to make the night about you.
She regretted that one the second it left her mouth. But she hadn’t known how else to defend herself. Not when she felt so… exposed.
Azzi stood up, walked slowly to the door, and opened it.
Paige was there, arms folded, eyes guarded but not cold. Just tired. Hurt.
Azzi stepped aside wordlessly, letting Paige in.
The room was dim—just a crack of sunlight coming through the blinds. Paige moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Azzi stayed by the door for a second before slowly walking over and sinking into her desk chair, her eyes fixed on the floor.
Neither of them spoke right away.
Finally, Azzi said quietly, “You’re right. It was something.”
She swallowed hard. “But I didn’t know how to explain it without… making it worse.”
Azzi kept her eyes on the floor, fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shorts. “I think…” she began, slowly, “I think I have feelings for him.”
She looked up, searching Paige’s face. “James. He texted me this morning. Said he feels the same. That he’s been thinking about it for a while.”
Paige’s chest tightened, but she kept her expression steady.
Azzi’s voice was quiet but certain. “So… I think I want to try. With him. See where it goes.”
There was a pause.
Paige nodded once, her jaw clenching for just a second. “Okay.”
Azzi blinked. “That’s… that’s all you’re gonna say?”
“That’s all I was asking for,” Paige said, managing a small smile. “Just the truth.”
Azzi sat back, exhaling. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“You didn’t,” Paige said quickly—too quickly. “I mean, not like that. I just… I wanted to understand.”
Azzi didn’t respond right away. She looked at Paige like she wanted to say more, maybe ask something, maybe seesomething. But then—
“Girls!” Katie’s voice called from down the hall. “Dinner’s ready! And I swear, if you two come out here acting like strangers, I’m sending you both to therapy!”
Azzi cracked a laugh despite herself.
Paige stood, smoothing her shirt. “Guess that’s our cue.”
Azzi gave her a tentative look, like she was still trying to read Paige’s mood. Paige just smiled again, gentler this time.
And they walked out together, side by side—but not quite in sync.
The rest of the summer passed in a blur of heatwaves, late sunsets, and quiet distance.
They didn’t fight again—not really. But something between Paige and Azzi had shifted, subtle but undeniable. It was like the thread that had always held them tight had stretched thin, loose at the edges.
They still hung out now and then—grabbed iced coffees, shot around at the park, laid out at the lake on lazy afternoons. But it was different. Shorter hangouts. Fewer sleepovers. More missed texts. More pauses in conversations that used to flow effortlessly.
Azzi spent most of her time with James.
They went on drives with the windows down and music too loud, made weekend trips to her grandparents lake house or the Storrs for team bonding time, posted smiling pictures that Paige liked without really looking at them.
Paige told herself it was fine. Normal, even. People shifted during summers before college. They grew into their own lanes.
But it didn’t stop the sting of it. The way Azzi always seemed to be somewhere else. Not angry. Just… busy. Full. Full of something new. Something Paige didn’t have a place in.
Sometimes they’d talk late at night, like old times. Paige would be lying on her bed, phone warm in her hand, Azzi laughing about something James had said or how she couldn’t figure out how to pack half her closet for UConn.
And Paige would laugh too.
And then hang up.
And stare at the ceiling for a long time.
The smell of garlic and toasted bread clung to the air inside the small Italian restaurant near campus. The place had that warm, cozy buzz to it—dim lights, quiet clinks of silverware, and soft conversation. It was the kind of spot that could feel like home, if your heart wasn’t somewhere else entirely.
Paige sat across from Colleen in a corner booth, her chin propped in her hand, her fork twirling aimlessly in the remains of her pasta. The plate in front of her was barely touched, but she didn’t have the energy to fake an appetite. Colleen, on the other hand, was halfway through her chicken parm, watching Paige with the kind of gentle patience that only came from knowing someone for a long time.
“You’ve been on another planet all night,” Colleen said finally, leaning back in her seat. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”
Paige shrugged. “It’s nothing. I’m just tired.”
Colleen gave her a look. “Paige.”
There was a beat, then Paige let out a sigh. “It’s Azzi.”
“Yeah,” Colleen said softly. “I figured.”
Paige glanced down, pushing her fork through the sauce. “She’s not even here yet, and it already feels like she’s far away.”
Colleen waited.
Paige didn’t look up as she kept talking. “I know we’re not kids anymore. I know she’s allowed to… like someone, or be with someone. But it’s like ever since prom, I haven’t been able to reach her. Not really. And I’m scared that once we’re both here, and James is around, I won’t even exist in her world anymore.”
There it was—bare and raw.
Colleen let the words sit for a moment. Then she asked, “Do you think she doesn’t care about you anymore?”
Paige shook her head quickly. “No. I know she does. I think that’s what makes it worse. I think she does care, but not in the way I want her to.”
Colleen studied her for a second. “And how do you want her to care?”
Paige finally looked up. Her eyes were shiny but dry. “Like I matter. Like she needs me the way I need her.”
She paused, exhaling. “I just… I don’t know how I’m going to compete for her time with James. He’s in every story. Every plan. Every text. And I’m just... the background noise.”
Colleen leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. “Paige, listen to me. You’re not a placeholder in her life. You’re part of her foundation. You’ve been there for her through everything. But that doesn’t mean things won’t change. They will. People grow, and relationships evolve. But that doesn’t erase what you have.”
“Then why does it feel like it’s slipping through my fingers?”
“Because it’s changing,” Colleen said gently. “And change is scary, especially when it feels like you’re the only one noticing it. But give it time. You two are about to start this new chapter together. It’s going to be messy, and weird, and probably hard sometimes—but you’ll both be figuring it out at the same time. That’s a gift, if you let it be.”
Paige swallowed, the ache still sitting in her chest like a rock. “What if she picks him?”
“She might,” Colleen said. “And maybe that’s not the worst thing. Because if she does, and she’s happy, then you’ll have to figure out how to be happy for her—even if it hurts a little.”
Paige blinked, her throat tightening.
“And if she doesn’t?” Colleen added, voice soft. “If she circles back to you in a different way? Then you’ll be ready for that, too. But only if you’re honest. With her. And with yourself.”
The silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable. It was heavy with understanding.
Colleen picked up her fork again. “Now, please eat your pasta. I’m not letting you sulk your way into preseason.”
Paige smiled, faint but real. She picked up her fork and took a bite, the food warm and grounding in a way she hadn’t realized she needed.
Outside, the late August sky was shifting from lavender to deep blue, the last light fading behind the trees. Soon, everything would begin.
But for now, there was still time to figure it out.
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Conversational
What if every time we spoke, you found yourself drifting off for me? If every conversation left you dazed. If it became second nature for your mind to switch off because I was speaking to you.
You had let it be known how exciting you found being hypnotized covertly. How thrilling you found conversational inductions. And it is such an exciting idea. Knowing that you can never be sure you aren't being lured down into trance. That your surrender can leak out of the frame of formal hypnosis. That any time could be the right time to drop for me.
And you take to it so well, don't you? You find yourself drifting back into conversations, unsure of what we are talking about. Or catching yourself nodding along to my words, feeling so agreeable. Knowing that you can just listen and follow. And if I tell you its alright to let go, you find it so easy to do just that. Maybe later you realize what was happening. Or maybe your mind starts getting fuzzy again when you try to think back on it.
But you wonder if it has gone too far. You become dimly aware between our talks that you've let yourself be conditioned. When we are talking, of course, it's too difficult to think about much of anything but what you are being told. But other times you can be aware that a link has formed in your mind. The way I talk to you falls so naturally into those patterns that you respond to. Every exchange, you feel the pull of my words, always encouraging you deeper. And it feels so right. It feels so perfect to float away when I'm speaking. You don't need to think. I will think for you.
And the two become the same thing in your mind. I am speaking. You are in trance. Any dialogue of more than a few words, and you feel your thoughts dripping away. You can still respond of course. Usually. Telling me things you think I need to know. Ideas you wanted to convey. You get to share yourself with me fully. But it's always within that haze of submission. Until the act of saying "hello" becomes a trigger.
And part of you might worry about what that means. How weak you must be. How vulnerable you become if every time I speak to you, you feel your free will floating away, replaced by that drifty need to listen and obey. But then you see how it builds trust. How effortlessly you come to rely on me when we are together. You can't think for yourself, can't make decisions. So I decide for you. When we are together everything automatically feels so easy. You just do as you are told. You follow. You sink deeper. And it's intoxicating how comfortable that becomes. You look forward to every interaction because you know you get to turn your mind off. Because you know you won't have a choice.
And the longer our interactions grow, the more natural it feels to just stop thinking entirely. You wake up next to me, finding yourself gazing into my eyes. And by the time the words reach your ears, you are already sinking deeper. Days pass with you drifting so easily under my hypnotic spell. When necessity parts us, for even a moment, lucidity begins to return.
And you find yourself desperate to get back to my side. Eager to fall down at my feet. To hear me speak again so that you can go back to being your best self.
More structured inductions still occur of course. But they take you to a place of such profound surrender, that trying to reflect on them is like staring into an abyss. Hypnotized has become a part of who you are when you are with me. And it is the part that feels the most authentic.
So if you find yourself getting lost in some conversation we share, know that it's perfectly alright. Everything is happening exactly as we want it to. You can let my words wrap up your thoughts and feel your conscious mind fading away. You don't need to think for yourself when I'm here to think for you. And you are getting used to the feeling of always being entranced by me. Learning to love it. Learning to crave it.
You are learning to always be under my spell.
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LOST IN TRANSLATION - mark lee smau
32) who’s the loser ?
You stare at Mark skeptically - not because you don’t trust him, but because you know he tends to make bad decisions sometimes. Especially when there’s no one around to give him an honest opinion. So, right now would be one of those times, assuming he didn’t talk it out with his friends beforehand. And knowing him, he didn’t.
You watch him take a few sips from the bottle someone brought him as he gets comfortable again. He clears his throat, trying out the chords again and mumbling something to himself. You cross your arms, bracing for the worst - this is the first time a man made a song about you and he isn’t even thoughtful enough to play it for you first. No, Mark just has to go all out and let the whole school hear it, because it has to be done his way. Typical.
Mark finally starts playing, and your eyes go wide the second you realize what kind of song this is.
“I don't wanna lose her, oh
I don't wanna lose her, no
Yeah, baby, don't you go
I can't say no more, 'cause
I don't wanna lose her, no,” Mark is strumming the strings carefully, nodding to himself as he sings, clearly lost in the song.
In the meantime, your jaw is practically on the floor. You have to remind yourself that you’re in public and you can’t just gawk at him like some kind of idiot in front of all these people. You look around, noticing how everyone got quiet, listening to the lyrics. You glance at the band in the corner of the room, especially Taeyong, who’s looking at Mark in surprise, clearly not expecting him to go with his own song. And neither did you, to be completely honest. This was supposed to be Bruno Mars, for God’s sake.
“Baby, I can't sleep
'Cause you said you'd call me back
Burning one more leaf
All year round, seasons falling
The moment you came into my life again
I waited, and the sun came up,” Mark continues, his gaze fixed on his fingers as he plays skilfully, like he played this a hundred times already. You can barely believe the scene happening in front of you, because there’s absolutely no way Mark wrote this in just three days… right ? It just can’t be.
He keeps playing the song and you’re a few seconds away from pinching yourself, your head spinning from how are these events turning out. You aren’t even sure whether you’re more mad, baffled, or flattered - the emotions are a mess inside of you.
Mark gets to the outro, bouncing his leg to the beat of the last few lines.
“Loser,
Who's the loser ?
Who's the loser ?” The music stops and you can tell that the cheers are not as loud this time, but only because people aren’t yelling now, just clapping, murmuring to themselves. It’s obvious that they don’t know what to think of such a personal song choice, and to be honest, you can’t blame them - you also feel like you’re dreaming. Mark stands up and bows, stumbling forward a little. You can see his legs shake slightly, even though he tries to play it off.
You chuckle, shaking your head and you want nothing more than to go talk to him, waiting for him to spot you in the crowd. But before it comes to that, someone taps you on the shoulder. You frown in confusion and turn around, your heart still beating loudly in your chest. You blink a few times in an attempt to calm down, and your gaze lands on a guy you’ve never seen before. You raise an eyebrow expectantly. “Yeah ?”
“Hey !” He gives you a grin, nodding appreciatively towards Mark. “What a performance, right ?”
You nod, not sure where is this going.
“I heard you’re the one who made it possible for everyone to audition, right ? The magazine girl.” He gives you a grin, scratching the back of his head. “You’re Y/n, yeah ?”
You nod again, turning to him fully. “Yeah, that’d be me. Why ?”
“Oh, I just wanted to thank you personally… I didn’t make it to this round, but I’m still glad I was even given the opportunity. By the way, I’m Jake,” he holds out a hand, and you shake it. “I don’t know, you think I can borrow you for a bit ? Get you a meal or something ?” He motions towards the door. It’s true, the event turned out to be pretty big, and the school had even set up some food stalls outside so people could grab something on their way home.
You glance at Mark one last time. He’s looking everywhere but at you, bowing to the crowd that’s still clapping, then turning to the band with a relieved grin.
You shake your head and turn back to Jake, finally agreeing to his offer. “Yeah, that’d be nice. So, Jake, what do you study…?”
The two of you head out, getting lost in the conversation as Jake tells you about his major, where he lives - and you’re surprised to learn that your dorms are apparently pretty close to each other. He even tries to remind you which song he performed during the first round, and you just don’t have the heart to tell him that you had no idea he was even there. But you definitely aren’t complaining - not while you’re sitting side by side, both munching on burgers and Jake is showing you some pics of his golden retriever back home.
The applause is still ringing in his ears, but Mark barely hears it. He bows instinctively, his heart still pounding in his chest as if he just ran a marathon. He finally gains back enough composure to glance at the band - almost sighing in relief once he sees Taeyong clapping aggressively with a huge grin plastered on his face.
He takes a step back, fingers still tingling from playing the strings. It’s over - no more audition rounds now, no more late-night practice sessions and the most important part - no more pressure. He can finally stop being so anxious and just wait for the band’s decision. The relief he suddenly feels almost makes him laugh. No one booed - that’s a win, right ?
His eyes quickly scan the crowd, especially the rows he didn’t get to see before. Everyone’s smiling or clapping, and under different circumstances, Mark would probably be basking in the attention. But right now he has other problems - like, where the hell are you ?
And then, he sees it. That familiar red hair he likes so much, near the back.
He squints, leaning forward to confirm his suspicions. That has to be you.
His breath catches, and he has to physically stop himself from jumping off the stage and trying to get through all these people to reach you as fast as he can.
But before he can even call out, you turn. Not toward him. Away.
And suddenly there’s someone else. Mark has to do a double take - a tall guy, smiling down at you like he’s known you forever. Mark can’t hear a word over the crowd, but he sees you laugh - and then you just follow the guy out ?
He watches the back of your head disappear, your figure swallowed up by the crowd as you just leave with a random man like you didn’t just hear him sing a whole damn song for you.
Mark blinks. Once. Twice. His hand tightens around the neck of his guitar. You can’t be serious, right ? There’s no way you’d just ditch him for a guy you don’t even know. Maybe you’re just showing him out and you’ll come back ?
He realizes he’s been standing still in the middle of the stage like an idiot. Shaking his head, he bows one last time, waving at the audience as he rushes backstage.
Donghyuck immediately tackles him. “Are you kidding ? What was that ???”
Jeno and Jisung are quick to join him, bombarding Mark with questions.
“When did you even write that song ?”
“Why didn’t you tell us !”
“Was Y/n there ?”
Mark groans, plopping down onto one of the couches. “Please, shut up. All of you.”
The boys all pause, exchanging confused glances.
Mark sighs again, throwing a hand over his face. “She was there, so she heard it. Still left with someone else, though.”
Silence.
“…What ???” Donghyuck steps forward like he didn’t hear him right. “What do you mean she left ?”
Mark shrugs. “There was a guy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him before. Tall. Looked confident.”
Jisung stares at him in disbelief. “Okay ? So why are you still here ? Why didn’t you go after her ?”
Another shrug. Mark keeps his arm over his face, refusing to look at them. “Why would I ? She clearly has company.”
“Bro,” Donghyuck says slowly, “you just sang your heart out like a sad little simp in front of the whole school.”
“And she still left,” Mark mutters, letting out a bitter laugh. “She’s not giving me another chance, dude. It’s over.”
Jeno narrows his eyes. He doesn’t buy it - not for a second. “Didn’t you say you didn’t know the guy ?”
Mark lifts his hand slightly, just enough to nod.
“What if he’s a creep ?” Jeno continues. “What if he gets her drunk and tries something ? She went alone to see you.”
That makes Mark freeze. He sits up slowly, staring at Jeno like he just got hit in the chest. “What ?”
Jeno shrugs, arms crossed. “I’m just saying. If anything happens, that’s kind of on you.”
Mark looks between his friends, then at his guitar, then at the exit.
In the next second, he’s up on his feet. “Watch my guitar. I’ll be right back.”
The three of them watch him go.
Donghyuck nods to himself, satisfied. “Yeah, that was smart.”
Jeno flops down in Mark’s place, picking up the guitar with a shrug. “What can I say ? Someone’s gotta use their brain around here.”
──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─
A/N: i was never a big fan of using lyrics in fics but i just HAD TO include at least one of the songs from mark’s album </3 this whole smau actually only exists because i loved the rem account a little too much and desperately needed to write something about it 🙂↕️ i hope y’all loved loser as much as i did !!! it’s definitely going to be in my top 5 this year 🫡
ALSO ! i purposely changed it to ‘lose her’ because we all know that’s what he meant anyway 🤫
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Steve spent 3 movies saving Bucky. He gave up everything for Bucky. He went against everyone, even against Sam's "he's not the kind you save, he's the kind you stop" bullshit, Steve might not agree with Bucky's choices but he'd stand by him and that's a fact. You think he'd kill off his relationship with Bucky, his best friend and family since the 1920s for, let me check my notes, someone he met in 2014??? 💀💀 you're crazy as fuck but believe what you want if that lets you sleep at night 😂
Awe so delusional you didn’t even have the balls to show your blog name, that’s cute. I’m ganna guess you’re like 13 but lemme tell you how adult relationships work. Don’t worry I’ll hold your hand through it all ☺️
Let’s start with the claim that Steve’s movies were only ever about Bucky. This statement takes any sort of agency away from Steve. You throw away every hardship, every conviction every bit of his personality and morals if all you boil it down to is Bucky. In your mind, Steve is no longer a character, no longer a person. He’s a dog who does whatever Bucky needs. Which is not true. He cares about Bucky yes. But Steve is not a servant to Buckys will.
Steve, even before knowing Bucky was alive, was against SHEILD and the use of the helicarriers. (Which means he was anti government control, are you with me so far or do I have to dumb it down further?) “This isn’t freedom, it’s fear.” Steve says to furry when he is first told about project insight. Steve’s mission throughout that movie, his main goal, is to stop project insight and to stop the corruption from undermining people’s freedoms (which he does all with his partner Sam, none of this would have been possible without someone who shared just as strong of a passion for all this as steve). Sorry to break your heart, but Bucky is second in all that. He wants to help Bucky too, but let’s not twist Steve’s priorities here nor make it seem like Steve can only care about one thing at a time.
“He not the kind you save, he’s the kind you stop” sorry but Sam only said that from a narrative perspective for Steve to rebuttal. It’s not even really in character for Sam so I’m not ganna entertain that point. It’s something I laugh off anyways cause thats the only evidence you weird stickies have against Sam after all these years cause yall can’t let shit go. Pathetic.
Now let’s flash forward to civil war, since again, you seem to suffer from amnesia and can’t remember anything about Steve that isn’t Bucky Bucky boo bear Bucky. Steve’s plot in civil war is stopping government oversight. He isnt thinking about Bucky 24/7 in the film. Bucky is merely pulled into it all by unfortunate circumstances. Hell, you could take Bucky out of this film and Steve’s morals would have STILL stayed the same; governments can’t be trusted with control over enhanced individuals nor should they have any say in the avengers. THATS Steve’s moral standing throughout the movie. That doesn’t change. And it’s doesn’t change for Sam either, who holds those EXACT same principles and distrust for overreaching authority figures. Steve, Sam, and Nat went on the run, not for Bucky, but because they refused to be apart of a system they ALL didn’t believe in.
“He would stand by him and that’s a fact” right right I see endgame worked out so well for you people huh😬😬 (lmao)
Now let’s get into the whole friendship piece of it all, since by your definition friends should just blindly support and follow eachother wherever (did your parents never give you the “if your friends jump off a cliff are you jumping too” speech?).
Maybe this is just me, idk, but I have never believed in feeding my friends delusions. I am not ganna tell support every decision my friends make with a “yes queen!🤪” if that decision goes against my own morals and could cause them harm. You are a bad friend if you let the people you care about go through with choices that could do them harm or cause harm to others. Holding your friends accountable is important, it helps us all grow as people. Not being babied or placated or diluted into thinking every decision we make is good. That’s how echo chambers start and egos grow.
Steve and Bucky are grown adults. Steve, with everything we know about his character, would not just let Bucky do whatever, not without Steve shaking Bucky by the shoulders and giving him his two cents. If Bucky is making decisions that go against Steve morals and everything Steve fought to prevent, why does your underdeveloped brain think Steve would just do a magic 180 just for Bucky? Steve would be furious to hear that his best friend (by your own words) undid everything he worked so hard to maintain. And to think otherwise is absolutely ludicrous.
Besides, Steve is chasing a ghost. The Bucky we know is not the man who Steve knew in the 40s. Sam on the other hand, is a man who he has trusted the word of time and time again. Even before Steve spoke about the accords, SAM was the one who fought against them. Sam and Steve have ALWAYS been on the same side when it comes to the government having too much control. They don’t trust the government as far as they can throw them. Sam is also the only one Steve has ever listened to when it came to plans (stopping project insight and stealing Sam’s wings, listening to Sam when he told Steve to let the rest of team cap get arrested so Steve could get away, even providing group counseling during the blip, etc) so yes, I think Steve would absolutely side with Sam here.
You think Steve wouldn’t back the very man he hand picked to carry on the legacy of Captain America? The man who holds his same principles and beliefs? The man who is the rightful leader of the avengers and will lead his team with the very morals that Steve admired in Sam and believed in from the beginning?
Are you incompetent or did you just watch these movies with your eyes closed shouting la la la la la
#fuck off#this is long but I am so tired of your freakazoids#I’m angry and exhausted#and some of yall need to be told the harsh way that your just plain stupid#anti thunderbolts#anti stucky#sam wilson#steve rogers
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Friend Amongst Enemies
Elijah Mikaelson X Fem!Reader
Word Count: 1562
Requested: Anon
Request: Could I get a request with Elijah x reader and reader is struggling with being a vampire a lot and Elijah comforts her and is there despite klaus being bitchy towards the reader x AND Can you do an Elijah x reader where the reader gets bitten by Lucien and she scared bur Freya goes to get the cure at the same time and Elijah is there for her the whole time.
Your life had changed. Being human came with challenges but they at least felt like they were things that you could face. Now you had been turned into a vampire and suddenly everything that you faced seemed life or death.
You knew that you weren’t coping with the change very well but there were few people that cared. Klaus had barely tolerated you when you were human, now that you were a permanent thorn in his side he was even more agitated by your presence. Especially because it was not one of his people that changed you. Lucien had been the one to change you, you assumed because he hoped that you would turn against the Mikaelsons but you had no intention of making them your enemies. Elijah was the one that found you huddled in the back room of your apartment.
Funny enough that was where you found yourself now, hiding away from everyone and everything. You hadn’t fed since first waking up. Elijah had been the one to convince you but now as you sat alone, you wondered if you had made the right decision. You were still getting used to your enhanced senses so the sound of your door opening was loud and jarring, easily making you reel back tightening the grip on your knees. “You’ve been like this for days.” Elijah said, his voice was purposefully low as he moved in slow deliberate steps. “Then leave her to desecrate brother, we do not have time to coddle babies.” Klaus’ voice was loud and aggressive, you couldn’t see him but you knew that he was in the apartment too, you assumed just outside the door. “Enough brother if you would rather be somewhere else then I implore you to leave.” Elijah’s tone was different when talking to Klaus, something that you only noticed now but was sure was present the whole time that you had known him. “You know he’ll be here for her soon brother, you shouldn’t still be here when he does.” Klaus warned, though his footsteps were silent and there was still a heart beat in Klaus’ chest noticed and you could hear it retreating. Elijah sighed, you assumed in relief that Klaus had finally gone. “He’s right, Lucien will be coming for you soon.” Elijah knelt to catch your eye. “You won’t be able to fight him if you don’t feed.” “What if I don’t want to fight him? What if I just want this all to end?” You asked. “You should give yourself time, a lot has happened in the past few days, you haven’t had time to experience your new life.” Elijah argued, lifting your chin to look at him. “Klaus is not going to let me have a ring.” The sun blazed through the gap in the curtain as if to prove a point and caused you to pull your legs tighter. “My brother does not control the witches and I remember one that liked you quite a bit.” He said softly reaching into his pocket, he pulled out an elegant ring “Davina sent this for you.” You had helped Davina a number of times, you never agreed with the way that Klaus had treated her and even told him as much. “Come on.” Elijah gently placed the ring on your finger and then pulled your hand into the sun allowing you to feel it. “Let’s go somewhere.” “What if I hurt someone?” You asked. Elijah had always admired your care for everyone else. “You won’t hurt anyone.” He said softly “I’ll make sure of it.”
Over the next few weeks Elijah would visit you everyday and you were slowly coming to grips with the new life that you were leading. Elijah had tried to get you to agree to move into the compound but you had refused on account of Klaus absolutely hating you. Elijah made sure that you were out of the house everyday and that you fed at least once a day. Slowly you felt the strength return to you and realised that the change didn’t need to be as big as you had made it out to be.
You were alone when Lucien found you, you thought that he had forgotten about you considering you hadn’t seen him since he turned you. “Did you think that I forgot about you?” Lucien asked as you walked into your living room that morning. “What are you doing here?” You asked. “I was hoping you would have come to me by now, so I’ll ask you one more time to join me and take down the Mikaelsons.” Lucien looked over at you, noting that you looked better, stronger than when he had turned you then his eyes caught on the ring on your finger. “Now who gave you that?” “None of your business.” You answered. “I’m not joining you.” “I thought you might say that, I’ve seen you with Elijah, so instead I’ll use you to send a message.” Before you could react his teeth bit down on your neck. Fire spread through your body from the bite, it made it hard to hold up your head. “I hope he comes to find you soon.” You pressed your hand to your neck as you stumbled to find stability. This was different, you imagine this was what it would feel like to be bitten by Klaus. “(Y/N)!” Elijah called as he rushed into the apartment, hands reaching out to stabilise you as he turned your head to look at your neck. “What happened?” “Lucien… Bit me…” You managed to say before your head fell forward against his chest.
Elijah easily lifted you, taking you back to the compound “Freya!” Elijah yelled as he carried you up the stairs towards his room. “Brother what are you yelling about?” Klaus asked, appearing at the door of the room. “Lucien has bitten her.” Elijah answered. “A shame.” Klaus sighed as Freya pushed passed him and made it to you in the bed. “The same as Camille?” They all felt the shift in the room at the mention of her name but they continued to ignore Klaus all the same. “Yes.” Elijah answered. “I’ve still been looking into this, I think that we could cure her if we draw the magic out, I don’t know any syphoners but I’ve been working on a spell that can do the same. I just need more time.” Freya said. “Niklaus.” Elijah said as he shifted you against him to prop you up. “Yes brother?” Klaus asked. “Your blood, please.” Elijah pleaded. “Why should she be the one to get the cure?” Klaus asked. “I’m sorry for what happened to Camille but she is not to blame for that, you should not punish her for the actions of someone else.” Elijah gently run his hand over you pulling sweat soaked strands from your face. “No.” Klaus answered as turned and walked away. “Just keep her as comfortable as you can, I’ll work as quickly as possible.” Freya said rushing out of the room, you groaned as he moved both back onto the bed. “Don’t worry you're going to be okay.” Elijah said softly. “You know… Now that it’s really happening… I know that I never wanted to die. Thank you for saving me.” You said through laboured breaths. “And you won't, I promise you.” He pressed a kiss to your temple “and I never break a promise.”
It was almost 6 hours later, when Freya came back “it’s not perfect but even if it doesn’t cure her, it should buy us some time for me to perfect it.” Freya was quick in setting up everything that she needed to perform the spell “put her in the middle of the circle.” Elijah carefully placed you in the centre of the circle. “Relax, it’s going to be okay.” He said softly as he stood and stepped outside of the circle, the next few minutes were agonising and definitely felt like hours as he listened to your faint gasping breaths and then your breaths calmed and your whole body relaxed. “Is it done?” “Yes.” Freya answered. “We will need to keep a close eye on her over the next couple of days, if any of the symptoms come back then we will act accordingly.” “Thank you sister.” He said. “There’s one other thing that we need to do before you move her.” Freya said. “What?” He asked. “Un-sire her from Lucien, we plan to kill him and she will die with him if we do.” Freya reminded him. “Do it.” Elijah said, stepping back again.
When you woke up you felt better then you had before, you looked around and realised that you were still in Elijah’s room “Drink this, get your strength back.” Elijah pressed a cup to your hand, you could smell the blood and downed it in three easy gulps. “How do you feel?” Elijah asked. “Better.” You answered, you pressed your hand to your neck where the wound was, it had healed. “You have to be careful, and you have to tell us if anything feels weird.” Freya said, you looked between them. “Okay.” You nodded “thank you both for saving me.” “No need to thank us.” Elijah said softly as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll protect you from everything. I promise.”
Requests and general question!
#the vampire diaries one shot#the vampire diaries imagine#the vampire diaries imagines#the vampire diaries#elijah mikaelson one shot#elijah mikaelson imagine#elijah mikaelson#imagine#oneshot#one shot#reader insert#x reader#female reader
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Good day, my dear Ori!
You're very talented and I'm so blessed to be your mutual! Thank you for asking me for an exchange! I was very happy to receive your message and even more happy to interact with you! ♡♡♡
I'd like to join your mutuals event! Please, feel free to dm me if you'd like me to write some more headcanons for you! Be it BSD or another fandom I'm always in!
✒️ + Kaji Ren (since WB is my current obsession and we both like him, hehe) + childhood friends to lovers.
Have an amazing day, my dear!
With love,
Tilli.
CHILDHOOD PROMISES
Kaji x Reader
Hope you like this Tilli! <3


It all started like all love stories at the beginning. Ren Kaji wasn't the known fighter he was today. He was but a little boy with a big crush on one of his classmates. You would always help him with class projects and in turn he would push you on the swings. When you guys walked home one day, learned that you lived very close to each other. So weekend playdates became the norm.
One day Ren asked you to meet him near the swings. Ren hid an object behind his back it was the plastic bottom of a ring pop, "sorry I ate it but would you be my girlfriend [Reader]?" He asked as he held the piece of plastic to you. You accepted the piece of plastic "yes I will Ren" you said with a joyous smile. You kept that piece of plastic in a keepsake box.
~
You and Ren started middle school together, and it was during this time he started to get into fights. But around you he tried his best not to, holding his fist until you walked away if anyone agitated him.
Your parents, ever loving and caring, decided for you to move schools. They heard and saw the evidence on other students of Kaji getting into fights almost every day they felt like it was the right decision for you. Unbeknownst to them some of those fights were done for you, to shut up anyone willing to have your name and any type of unsavory word in the same sentence.
From the day you told him that you were moving schools, he was upset. Not at anyone but at himself.
_
You were cleaning up your closet, coming upon your old childhood keepsake box. Opening it to reveal the plastic piece of a ring pop, remembering that promise you made to Ren all those years ago, a warm sensation rose to your cheeks.
It has been a few years since your middle school days.
You see from across the street, a familiar looking guy. He's grown since the last time you saw him, dyed his hair and everything. But It's unmistakable, it's him, the one you loved as a child and certainly still loves now.
"Ren," a familiar voice said, Kaji turned around and saw you. Kaji's eyes widdened as he saw you. He hasn't seen you for a few years, but it seems like forever. He didn't know what to do, these feelings he had since he was little bubbled up to the surface again causing him to blush brighter than the sun. He felt like running away but he stood in place as you came up to him.
"[Reader]..." Was all he said as he hugged you tightly. He then loosened the hug, seeing the piece of plastic on your finger. He remembered that promise from all those years ago. Why not make that promise a reality, with all the courage he could muster up he held your face.
He kissed you with all the feelings he had been bottling up all these years without. Does he care that people may see, no! All that he cares about now is that he is with you now and he is never letting go.
#Oracle Scriptures#windbreaker anime#wind breaker#windbreaker#wbk#wbk manga#ren kaji#wbk ren#windbreaker satoru nii#satoru nii windbreaker#windbreaker ren kaji#windbreaker x reader#wbk x reader#wbk ren x reader#ren kaji x reader#tillichan!<3
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A Rafayel's draft
Just something that I wrote but won't make a whole fic out of it. Was going to keep it as personal — because it is — but decided to share.
"Raf, have you ever wished that you could have the power to stop a situation in the past that really changed your present and future?"
"Huh?"
"Because I do."
"What are you talking about? We're just gazing to the sea together. I know I know... Humans always say that the sea makes them feel so many emotions by just seeing it, but that's not the sea's fault you know? It actually-"
"I wish I didn't took that step. I wish that I didn't chose to hate the way I am at that time to the point of chasing something so desperately that it destroyed myself."
"..."
"I'm still picking up the pieces, you know? And there's so many... It's ridiculous how much it broke me, and sometimes when I'm trying to pierce one with the rest I end up cutting myself in the process. And then I drop it. And it is on the floor again, and I'm so afraid of getting hurt again that I do not pick it up again, so it stays in the floor, again."
"Cutie... I'm trying to understand but I can't comprehend why are you talking about that right-"
"However, I still try to pierce what once was myself, but you can repair a porcelain vase without all the pieces. Even if you don't like some of them. It will eventually crumble, or look deformed with the holes that were left on their own. And I don't know how to deal with that. It is natural for me — or at least for my body — to run away from the pain, even if I consciously know that for me to let go and rebuild myself I have to feel it.
But I find myself so horrified at it that my body kicks me out and takes control."
"Maybe your problem is that you haven't found something to put that pain in, something that would help you take it out of your body."
"Like your paintings?"
"Aren't you smart? Yes my sea angel, my art is the way I take it out."
"But does it help you process it? Once is poured onto the canvas, does it really give you a push to move on and get rid of it forever?"
"... I think the pain from our actions never really fades in its entirety. I wish it would, but it isn't like that. Especially with decisions that made a before and an after in your life."
"So... Do you have any situation in the past like that?"
"You could say that, yeah..."
"And how did you manage it?"
"I... Learned how to live with it. Taught myself how to not drown when the tides are strong enough, and instead of succumbing to it, I just float in the surface."
"... It never ends, huh?"
"No cutie, it never ends. But the ache doesn't keep the same intensity as in the beginning. Eventually, it fades a little, like the color of a very old painting. And instead of being a bright blue, it becomes gray, giving space to other experiences that overshadow and paint over what happened with other bright and new colors"
"That would be so... I feel like mine will never fade. It will stay the same, and my grief will not retire. The desire of taking my heart out of my chest is so intense sometimes, that I fear it is so damaged and tired it will give up eventually."
"I don't want the big heart I got, Rafa. I hate it. It doesn't belong here."
"It will fade. Your wound is just recent, that's why you think of it in that way. I did felt the same way at the time, but even if it takes a looooong time, you will see that I don't lie with this.
Eventually, the pain that you feel will not be the center of your life as it is now."
"And what did became the center of your life now that it made the pain retire from your chest?"
"Love. Love for art, love for what's left from what I lost, love that comes from other people that I care.... Just love. Love is as powerful as pain."
"My wound comes from love... I think you would not understand."
"Mine comes from love, too. But that's not all there is to it. Poets and writers don't lie when they say that love has many faces, you know? I have seen many of them. Even if it is unbelievable, another face of love amended the damage the first one made."
"Perhaps one day I will see with my own eyes what you say..."
"Perhaps..."
"But please... Don't ever say that you hate your heart, and that it doesn't belong here. It does. And I would gladly cherish it and make it mine, if you let me.
With me, your heart is safe. No harm with come from my hands."
#lads#love and deepspace#lnds#lads rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace#rafayel x reader#rafayel x mc#lnds rafayel#love and deepspace rafayel#rafayel x you
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Reading the Iliad, Book 22 thoughts
This is my first time ever reading it and I know next to nothing abt greek mythology so if I interpret anything wrong by all means pls correct me
Im reading the Robert Fagles translation
Rip Hector, they did you dirty
So Achilles is still chasing around Agenor (AKA Apollo)
Apollo turns to Achilles and asks him, "Bro why are you even chasing me? Im a god."
Maybe because you took on the form of a human for the sole purpose of distracting Achilles???? Like hello?
Achilles is kinda pissed that Apollo wasted his time
Hector is standing outside of the gates, which prompts Priam and Hecuba to start crying as they beg their son to come back inside to walls of Troy bc they have already lost a shit ton of children at the hands of Achilles
Homer reminds us that if Troy falls, the men will be killed, and the women will be made into sex slaves
super fucked up
Priam start tearing his fucking hair out he's so disstressed
Hector does not move
Hector thinks back to the time Polydamas suggested they need to get back inside Troy for safety, and how Hector himself said that plan was stupid
And Hector actually acknowledges that because of his own pride, he's destroyed his army
So now he kinda has to fight Achilles
Lmao Hector goes "Maybe he'll stop we give back Helen and a bunch of other shit with her?"
It's too late for that bro....
Also, y'all should have let Helen leave AGES AGO
Atp for Achilles its not even about Helen
Immediately after that thought, Hector's like "Na,w he's not gonna let it slide😭"
You have to feel for Hector here bc he really is stuck between a rock and a hard place
Achilles is still making his way toward Hector
So Hector fucking takes off and Achilles is on his ass
Zeus is watching all of this and wonders aloud if he should whisk Hector away to safety
You can't just do that, Zeus, you literally said Hector has to kill Patroclus so that Achilles has to kill Hector
PATROCLUS DIDN'T BECOME A KABOB FOR NOTHING
His ass has GOT to die atp
Athena tells him that Hector's fate is more or less sealed, and if he changes things now, none of the other gods will ever praise him anymore
Zeus agrees and tells Athena to go down to the battles and do as her impulse bids
3 times Achilles chases him around the walls of Troy
Idk how big the outskirts of Troy are, but I imagine running around an entire city (3 times, no less) takes a while
A bunch of other Greeks want to earn glory for themselves and be the one to kill Hector, but Achilles doesn't allow them to interfere
On the fourth run around Troy, Zeus sets out this golden scale and places Hector's fate on one side and Achilles' on the other.
Achilles' fates win out, and Hector is doomed to die in this battle
Athena goes to Hector in the form of one of his brothers (Deiphobus)
Hector is relived as shit that some on came to aide him and allows her to convince him to face Achilles
And Athena, as Deiphobus, tells him that everything is going to be okay and that they're going to face Achilles as a pair
Finna cry bc Hector was so happy that someone, one of his own brothers, was going to be there with him, while bro is literally terrified
AND ITS A FUCKING LIE
Hector talks to Achilles about taking an oath that whoever dies here, the victor will let the other have proper burial rights
It's then that Achilles says his famous line about there being no deals between lions and men
RAHHHHHHHH
So basically, he says no. lol. and throws his spear at Hector
Hector ducks, the spear lands behind him in the ground
Hector starts clowning the shit out of Achilles for missing. "Lol you fucking missed, you thought you were gonna kill me huh? Now you'll never have the satisfaction of stabbing me in the back as I run from you. loser"
HELLO HECTOR, WEREN'T YOU JUST TALKING ABOUT PRIDE
He's so upsetting what's wrong with him?😭 Like, between him and Paris, why do they make the WORST decisions ever
Hector throws his own spear, which hits Achilles' shield but ends up doing nothing
Now spearless, Hector shouts behind him to Deiphobus to give him another one.
Hector turns around and he's there alone because Diephobus is fucking gone.
ATHENA LEFT HIM💀
THIS SHIT IS STRIGHT OUT OF A CARTOON
I just know Hector's balls dropped to his asshole in that moment
He says word for word, "My time has come."
damn.......😔
So he starts using his sword to fight instead
The armor Hector is wearing is Achilles' own armor that was stripped from Patroclus
Naturally, Achilles goes for the weakest spot. The neck.
The spear Achilles drives into his neck misses Hector's windpipe, so while he's on the verge of death, Hector is still able to speak
Achilles gives this whole speech about how Hector probably thought that, since he wasn't near when Patroclus died, that he'd be safe, and that he's a fool for thinking that.
Achilles tells him that he's going to leave Hector's body for the dogs and the birds to feast on.
Which is the same thing Hector was going to do to Patroclus
Hector begs Achilles to not let the dogs eat him, but Achilles says that he wants to hack Hector's flesh away and eat him raw
Okay crazy
Hector's last words prophesied Achilles' death at the hands of Paris.
Then he dies
Rip to the baby girl
Achilles says that death can have him whenever it wants
All of the other Greeks come over and start stabbing and taunting Hector's body
DAMN YALL HATE HIM THAT MUCH???
Achilles says he still has to honor Patroclus and that he'll never forget him, no matter what
It pops into Achilles' head to defile Hector even further, so he ties Hector's corpse by the feet to his chariot and drags him around outside the walls of Troy
Both the Trojans and the Greeks are really disgusted by this act
Even Achilles fucking horses don't wanna do this shit
And this really fucks up Hector's body
Hecuba is forced to watch he son's body be destroyed while she cries
She leads everyone in the chorus of sobbing
Andromache, who doesn't know her husband has been killed, summons her maid to begin boiling water for Hector's bath.
She hears the wailing, and Andromache is described as having her heart racing in her throat bc she's so nervous that Hector might be dead
When she looks over the wall of Troy she see Achilles dragging the shit out of her husband body
And she, too, drops to her knees and cries
She's been made a widow, and her son has lost his father
Everyone in Troy laments the death of their best warrior
The end
#everyone fucked Hector over so bad in this book wtf#reading the iliad#the iliad#hector of troy#achilles#priam of troy#andromache#tagamemnon
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There was a time where a sniper would have been left with their insides hanging out, but these days Erica could choose a friendlier approach. It only seemed fair after picking Crosshair's pockets to leave behind something healthier than lead. Perhaps they would help her make better life decisions.
Crosshair wasn't going to complain there. She was going to pack what was left of her guns and leave this place behind her without much of a regret. Five would understand if she didn't stay around to get see how brutal it was about to get. And even if he didn't, he could, in fact, get fucked.
Though she would wait for the three of them to leave before getting up. She intended to appear as nonthreatening as possible until then.
Willow sighed quietly as she stared ahead, regretting to have sent Simon off so quickly. She could have used the drone as a platform on the way down.
"Don't forget about that ice mage." she warned.
"It'll be fine, Willow! We just gotta stay together." Erica replied. She located a good landing spot and got down in a crouch, before looking up at Antonio, "You know, it's nice to have you here. I’m glad Rook was stubborn about you."
With that particular thought off her chest, Erica jumped off.
"I second that." Willow added, before following along.
"I'm glad you're having fun, but try not to end up like a rotisserie chicken." Rook said, dodging an ice spike that had appeared a bit too close for comfort. She could have closed the distance with a cinder step. But with Frosty doing everything in his power to keep her away, she didn't trust him not to stab her the second she returned to a solid state.
She could however use her magic to nudge the pipe back in Travis's direction.
In the meantime, it was getting increasingly hard to tell what had upset Frosty more between Travis' nickname or his choice of video games. "Leave me alone! You're human too, why do you even care about these guys?"
"Most people tend to be concerned about their city being infested by murderous lunatics, Frosty." Lucien replied.
The nickname wasn't enough to grant him any power over the other, but it was a good distraction. Frosty looked like the moron he truly was when he slipped on Russell's baseball. He was done running for now.
Five wasn't doing much better. The hit from Leofric's shield threw off his balance and his sword slammed hard against the ground. While the blade didn't seem to be damaged, it allowed Veronica to slice through his right sleeve. The hunter quickly backpedaled as he reached to cover his exposed skin with his hand.
"Damn you both!" he hissed.
"This is for harming my daughter." Veronica was ready to strike again when she saw Five's hair shift to a bright red. "Watch out!"
Striving for a whole new level of unpleasantness, Five's entire body recoiled as he unleashed his caustic spit next. Whether it could deal any damage to their equipment or not, it definitely smelled foul.
Crosshair grumbled as she reached into her jacket, only to find all her spare clips were gone and had been replaced with carrots. Erica held them up for her to see before dumping them in the void.
"No more shooting." the elf stated, before making her way to the edge, ready to jump off, "First one down?"
Willow put her sword away, turning her back to Crosshair as she got ready to follow the others.
"A word of advice. You don't want to find out what we did to Ratchet. Understood?"
Crosshair flinched, then gave a nod. "...Yes, ma'am."
Willow took note of the answer, then pulled her mask up on her way to join the others.
"This isn't supposed to be fun." But it kind of was. Rook balanced herself with a quick flap of her wings, still chasing after Frosty. Her hope was to drive him closer to the others so they could deal with him.
That was before she watched the way Bill had decided to deal with the icicles. It might not have done much, but she couldn't help worrying for him. It was way too early into the fight to get wounded.
But at least Travis' plan worked out well. Frosty slipped and fell pretty hard on his knee, even as he was forcing himself to ignore the pain. Five and the events that had transpired told him he couldn't let these monsters have their way.
"You're right, it's too warm." But he would keep fighting the best he could. Frosty raised his arms as large ice spikes raised from the ground to block the path.
He wanted to go after Rook, but he knew Five wanted to deal with her personally. So he kept on tossing snowballs to buy them time.
Lucien did his best to shield Russell in return while he got ready. "You're prettier. But I think Travis has the right idea. Let's focus on his legs, then work our way up."
Five allowed himself a smirk as he managed to keep up with Leofric. He had to give credit where it was due, he was severely outmatched there. Veronica wasn't making it any easier and he was losing ground quickly.
But a poison user was supposed to play dirty. While the toxic breath wouldn't make either of them sick, it could provide him with some cover to ensure he'd be driven towards the entrance of his hideout instead.
"I'm surprised you can still smell anything after our last encounter." he replied.
Veronica scoffed, "Believe me, you could raise the dead."
#acid spit tw#pushspacetocontinue#scholar of flames - Rook#cyber core - Willow#elf in training - Erica#hunter hunter - Lucien#ardens medica - Veronica#toxic traitor - Five
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I'm gonna have to wait out a few weeks to be able to complain about jjk's ending bc rn half the ppl are bashing everyone who expected more as ppl who just wanted gojo back
#jjk 271#like no I can read I understood that gojo was gone for good from 236 bUT we can still talk about#how a grown ass man and his grown ass friends deciding how they were at 16 was their perfect forms.#before they made all the important life changing decisions. is a regression right#like can we talk about how the narrative just glosses over geto's whole entire life after hs WHERE HE WAS A GENOCIDAL MANIAC#and pretends like no one would even side eye him about that???#that's fucking regression#you're scaling his character back bc you don't want to address the root reasonwhy he went that route#and it's perfectly fine when an author doesn't want to get too political in their work it's their right I get it#but it does make me upset where the whole entire story up until here the author has been beating us over the head with leftist messaging-#- only to throw it away and settle for a 'oh I didn't mean ACTUAL revolution or changes that would rock the boat for REAL'#bc let's face it. the conditions that made people like geto and sukuna happen are still fucking there they just skipped this generation#these kids are still going to be sent out when a special grade curse shows up and some of them are still gonna die tragically early#to put yuuji as the leader of gojo's dream is isolating and a burden on JUST YUUJI (WHY WERE THE OTHER STUDENTS NOT THERE)#to make yuuji the sole messenger of gojo's will is frankly WEIRD gojo wanted these kids to look out for one another#he had nothing to say to anyone else???#yuuji's been accidentally burdened with the weight of gojo's dream now ON HIS OWN#HE IS A KID#literally nothing's changed at the end#also see how I didn't talk about gojo on his own here bc the problems are so glaring that they shine through even side characters#WHY IS NANAMI A KID IN THE AIRPORT IS THAT THE VERSION OF HIMSELF HE WAS CONTENT WITH???#or did they all have to be aged down to match haibara even though making the choice to show the ones that lived as grown would've made it-#-more impactful#A twenty seven yr old nanami sitting next to the fifteen yr old haibara would've been soul crushing right?#also why have nanami be the only one that talks like he remembers his adulthood BUT NOT GETO#WHY TAKE AWAY SUCH A HUGE PART OF GETO#YOU COULD'VE HAD THAT BE A CONVERSATION AND HAVE PEOPLE FORGIVE HIM#the more I think about the ending the more things I find to nitpick further back too#gege I love you but please I hope you negotiate a more flexible time in your next contract I hope they don't burn you out again#bc jjk is going to be an ending which I will frankly ignore and just go with 'sukuna won and it was terrible' in my head instead
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Any judgement on [Richard III's] reign has to be seen as provisional. The critic of the reign only has to consider how the Tudors would now be regarded if Henry VII lost at Stoke, to realize the dangers of too many assumptions about the intractability of Richard’s problems. But it would be equally unrealistic to ignore Richard’s unpopularity altogether. The fact that he generated opposition among men with little material reason for dissent, and that the disaffection then continued to spread among his own associates, says something about what contemporaries regarded as the acceptable parameters of political behaviour. There is no doubt that Richard’s deposition of his nephews was profoundly shocking. To anyone who did not accept the pre-contract story, which was probably the majority of observers, the usurpation was an act of disloyalty. Gloucester, both as uncle and protector, was bound to uphold his nephew’s interests and his failure to do so was dishonourable. Of all medieval depositions, it was the only one which, with whatever justification, could most easily be seen as an act of naked self-aggrandizement.
It was also the first pre-emptive deposition in English history. This raised enormous problems. Deposition was always a last resort, even when it could be justified by the manifest failings of a corrupt or ineffective regime. How could one sanction its use as a first resort, to remove a king who had not only not done anything wrong but had not yet done anything at all?
— Rosemary Horrox, Richard III: A Study of Service
#richard iii#my post#english history#Imo this is what really stands out to me the most about Richard's usurpation#By all accounts and precedents he really shouldn't have had a problem establishing himself as King#He was the de-facto King from the beginning (the king he usurped was done away with and in any case hadn't even ruled);#He was already well-known and respected in the Yorkist establishment (ie: he wasn't an 'outsider' or 'rival' or from another family branch)#and there was no question of 'ins VS outs' in the beginning of his reign because he initially offered to preserve the offices and positions#for almost all his brother's servants and councilors - merely with himself as their King instead#Richard himself doesn't seem to have actually expected any opposition to his rule and he was probably right in this expectation#Generally speaking the nobility and gentry were prepared to accept the de-facto king out of pragmatism and stability if nothing else#You see it pretty clearly in Henry VII's reign and Edward IV's reign (especially his second reign once the king he usurped was finally#done away with and he finally became the de-facto king in his own right)#I'm sure there were people who disliked both Edward and Henry for usurpations but that hardly matters -#their acceptance was pragmatic not personal#That's what makes the level of opposition to Richard so striking and startling#It came from the very people who should have by all accounts accepted his rule however resigned or hateful that acceptance was#But they instead turned decisively against him and were so opposed to his rule that they were prepared to support an exiled and obscure*#Lancastrian claimant who could offer them no manifest advantage rather than give up opposition when they believed the Princes were dead#It's like Horrox says -#The real question isn't why Richard lost at Bosworth; its why Richard had to face an army at all - an army that was *Yorkist* in motivation#He divided his own dynasty and that is THE defining aspect of his usurpation and his reign. Discussions on him are worthless without it#It really puts a question on what would have happened had he won Bosworth. I think he had a decent chance of success but at the same time#Pretenders would've turned up and they would have been far more dangerous with far more internal support than they had been for Henry#Again - this is what makes his usurpation so fascinating to me. I genuinely do find him interesting as a historical figure in some ways#But his fans instead fixate on a fictional version of him they've constructed in their heads instead#(*obscure from a practical perspective not a dynastic one)#queue
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2nd choice property (the big duplex with more questionable quality) the property management texted me yesterday asking when I'd be looking to move. And I answered around the start of June (tho technically I don't *have* to move until July)
They took over a day to reply with This...

Call me petty but this certainly lowered the appeal of the place to me
#speculation nation#points system. me comparing this to the nice apartments i have a tour set up with for tomorrow#the leasing coordinator for there was nice and prompt with replies. professional and friendly.#and im like. hmmmm. just from personality alone i already like that other place's management more.#maybe i wouldnt have as much space there but itd be better managed and nicer overall. definitely very much leaning in that direction.#i might reach out to her again to ask about the reduced rate thing. bc thats the thing where if i sign before the 18th#then my rent would be like $350 less. i Think. i wanna ask to be sure. bc if it ends up like that then yeah#id be signing a whole month and a half earlier than i first intended but it ALSO gives a $500 discount on the first rent if i did that#so with the discount rent itd make up the difference by like 5 months in. and from there itd cost me less overall#so like. with me being Fairly Sure these people are my current best choice. maybe i really would sign within 2 days#but i also wanna ask to make sure that's like. possible. i can ask a bunch of questions tomorrow but. i also just wanna be Sure...#i wanna ask about other stuff too like whether they allow posters / nails in the walls (assuming i patch them b4 i leave or w/e)#but those are questions i could ask tomorrow. when im doing my general vibe checking.#dont wanna sign the lease until i know for sure what im getting into. but im very much leaning in their direction.#theyd have to show some Really bad signs for me to bow out at this point. but i still just wanna get a feel for it.#not gonna do what i did for my current apartment lol. where i was very limited on time & also location. no car so it couldn't be far#so i just kinda signed right away. better to avoid that lol.#making Informed Decisions this time around!!! im a bigboy adult and everything
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