erogenousmind

[erogenousmind]

Talisman

The brilliant green jewel seemed to glow with an inner light that Faith couldn't take her eyes off of. And the longer she stared the more she felt its radiance pushing into her mind. Whatever magic it had -- and it was magical. Faith couldn't deny it anymore -- was gradually wearing down her resistance. And whether because of the stone's influence or not, she found herself not particularly worried about what that meant for her.

It had looked like a rather normal gemstone. Possibly an emerald, but given its size, about that of a quail egg, it was probably something more mundane. The step cut made the edges dazzle as it caught the light, drawing your vision into the center of the stone. The craftsmanship was superb, and Faith couldn't help but think it appropriate for an actual magical artifact such as this one.

He continued to let it dangle before her eyes, swinging it gently by his waist. Faith had slipped down onto her knees some time ago, although she couldn't quite remember how or why. Maybe just its irresistible pull. That desire to look deeper into it. To let it shine its mesmerizing light more fully into her open and eager eyes.

Faith remembered laughing out loud when he had suggested it had magical powers. That it was capable of entrancing those who were careless enough to stare into it for too long. She'd played along though, even if she hadn't quite understood why. Looking back, she realized it had already started affecting her, imperceptibly at first. Subtly changing her thoughts. Lowering her defenses. Giving her the illusion of control. Hiding just how overwhelming it could be. He'd even made it seem like something of a game. A passing fancy that would be good for little more than a laugh, if only Faith would humor him for a moment.

There was no need for such deception now. He had told her this would happen. Told her it was happening. First, she would find it hard to look away. Her conscious mind might rationalize it away. Come up with reasons she was continuing to stare. Why her eyes stopped blinking as often. It was so very beautiful after all. She just wanted to enjoy that beauty. Then it would start to affect her mind. Begin thinking in ways she hadn't before. Silence thoughts it didn't want her to have. And maybe she could rationalize that as well. He was speaking to her the entire time as she stared, even if she found it so hard to focus on what he was saying. Maybe he was just persuading her. He could be very persuasive when he spoke to her. Suggesting it might feel better to come a little closer. To see the jewel a little more clearly. That she didn't need to pay attention to what he was saying. That it felt better not to think...

And then it started reaching out into her mind. Faith could see the shimmering tendrils of light pouring out of the facets of that perfect crystal. She was aware of them slowly gliding toward her. She could feel them flowing into her, dazzling her eyes with their brilliance, giving the world a green glow. She could feel it changing her. Feel it binding her mind and her will...Feel it taking control. That's when she knew the magic was real.

What other explanation could there be? That it was an ordinary crystal? That he had convinced her it had magical powers and it was her own imagination that had brought them to life? That the hypnotic stupor she found herself in now was of her own creation?

That would mean this was something Faith had wanted all along. That part of her knew where this would all lead, had known she would be dropped into trance. That even now, her subconscious was an eager participant, absorbing every word he spoke to her, ready to make his will a reality. That deep down, she craved his control, this whole experience satisfying her deepest fantasies.

But it was magic. Of course it was. She could feel its grip tightening around her thoughts, redirecting them toward his will. He controlled the crystal. The crystal controlled her mind. He was explaining the logical conclusion of this to her, but all Faith could do was sway slowly side to side, her eyes losing their focus. The green glow of the jewel struck her again, and she couldn't help but moan. Of course it felt good to stare. That's how it opened her mind. Broke down her defenses. She could feel it now, preparing for one last assault on her mind. Ready to break her. To claim her.

Some part of Faith put up a token resistance, but she already knew it was hopeless in the face of something so powerful. She heard the snap of his fingers and felt her autonomy shatter. The fight over before it had even started. Her eyes rolled back, and she felt her body tremble at the power of it. Felt the green light wash over her body, penetrating into her, capturing every cell of her being.

The crystal owned her now. Owned her mind. Owned her body. And she never stood a chance. It was real magic after all. Not some mere talisman, some pretty bauble that her mind could fixate on, allowing his words to find their way deep into her mind. Not an excuse for Faith to give in, the way she had always secretly desired. Not some convoluted rationalization for her to be enthralled. Possessed. To be granted that life that she had only known in her darkest and most hidden dreams. She was...she had been strong after all. Willful. To clever to allow her mind to be ensnared by pretty words and the temptation of submission.

It had to be magic.

He held the jewel toward Faith now, and she dimly realized it had been hanging by a leather strap. It was, in fact, the center piece of a simple collar. He meant to fasten it around her neck. As it came closer, Faith could feel the power radiating off of it. She knew what that connection would mean. Having it that close to her, able to exert its influence. Pouring more and more of its irresistible green light into her. She would never be free of it. Never be free of him. He would maintain his control on her...forever.

As she felt the leather pull taut and the simple latch fall into place, something deep inside of her cried out in joy. A part of Faith that she would never admit was there, even to herself. A part she kept hidden, whose voice she only allowed herself to hear in her deepest dreams.

It knew she had been given what she had always wanted. His control. The peak of her darkest desires. She hadn't even needed to consciously want it. Hadn't had to ask. Hadn't had to confront what it meant for her. She couldn't have imagined a more perfect excuse to dive into the life she had always wanted to live. A talisman to ensnare her mind. To hypnotize her with its magical power. To open her mind to his seductive voice. She would never have believed it possible. She certainly never would have allowed herself to be mesmerized so easily. To have that inner part of her released to drop and serve and surrender. To let his voice and his words lull her into a deep hypnotic trance. She wouldn't. She couldn't. Not on her own.

It was a good thing that magic was real. It had to be. Didn't it?

[erogenousmind]

Blink

Every time Maria closed her eyes, it felt like it took longer for them to open. More effort to not just let herself stay in that place of calm. She didn't need the flame anymore. Didn't need to be able to see it. It was with her still, even behind closed eyes. But still, she fought to open her eyes again. Because it was important for her to keep staring. Because she had been told...commanded...

It had been easy enough to sit comfortably where she was and look where she had been instructed. Listening to his voice helped Maria feel calm. It soothed a part of her that just wanted to be able to follow, and he gave her that opportunity. It had felt so natural for her to relax as he suggested it, as his arm wrapped around her a little tighter. She lay her head on his shoulder and time passed...

She was still listening. At least, she thought she had been, although she couldn't exactly remember what he had said last. She just knew it felt good to listen. And stare. That innocent flame burning atop a simple candle captured her focus. Just like his voice captured her attention. He had told Maria that, hadn't he? And that's why it was so important that she keep staring. So she could keep listening. So she could follow what he told her. Even as Maria's eyes got heavier...even as it felt easier and easier to drift...off...

Maria opened her eyes again. She didn't know how long they had been closed. Hopefully only a second or so. She was sure she was still listening to him. Still following his every word. Still doing as she was told...But it was hard to think about, somehow. Hard for her to focus her thoughts on anything but the flame. Anything but how relaxing it was. How easy it was to stare. She needed to stare. Needed to keep her eyes open. But she needed to relax. To relax...to sink...Maria needed to sleep. Her eyes slipped shut again...

Back open again. Maria felt her mind jolt, but her body was far too calm to do anything but languidly find the flame again. To let his smooth voice pour into her ear...into her mind. She was laying with her head in his lap now. When had that happened? His fingers stroked gently through her hair and the question didn't matter anymore. Maria just needed to sink down more. Needed to stare deeper. Needed to slip away. And she would keep her eyes open now. He told her he knew a way. A way she could keep staring, keep sinking. Keeping losing herself in that wonderful flame and in his wonderful words. She just needed to trust him and follow. Her eyes didn't need to close. It was her mind that could blink.

Maria didn't really understand, but that didn't matter to her in the moment. It felt so good to listen. So good to stare. So good to...surrender...What an interesting word. And it felt so good...She could just listen and follow and everything would work out. Her mind could blink, sure. He would tell her how. He would speak and she would do as she was told. All it took was the right intonation, the right emphasis. And that one simple word and she would...

"Blink"

Even if she could think clearly, Maria wouldn't have been able to describe the feeling. She had kept staring. The flame filled her vision. It was all she could see now. She had kept listening, giving rapt attention to every word. But her mind had been...off? As if her mind had just closed for a moment and then opened again. It had blinked, she dimly realized. And it felt...amazing. So incredibly relaxing. So effortless to just melt into him and his words and the flame and sink deeper and lose herself in everything he commanded and all she needed to do was follow and obey and -

"Blink"

Maria didn't know how long it had been before her mind started turning over again. The wax dripping down the considerably shortened candle gave her some indication that it was longer than just the blink of an eye. She knew she had listened. That his words had flowed unimpeded into her mind, coaxing and massaging and transforming the raw potential they found there. She wasn't entirely sure how she felt about that. Maybe he would tell her later...

She did know that she felt better than she had in a long time. More relaxed. More refreshed. More...energized. And awake in a way she hadn't since she started staring at the flame however long ago.

Maria sat up and stretched, then wrapped her arms around herself in a tight hug, letting a giddy little grin creep to her face. She felt like giggling and she looked at him, full of joy.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice full of tenderness.

"Mmm, wonderful..." she purred. As she continued to look at him, something stirred deep inside of her. The words that had washed over her while her mind blinked making their presence felt. She felt the changes they made, even if she couldn't quite understand or appreciate exactly what was different. She relished that feeling. She shivered with delight.

After a moment, Maria spoke again. "I...I think I need to serve you. I need to do what you tell me. It feels so good to follow. I want your words to fill me up. Please? I just - I love the way it makes me feel. Love when you tell me what to do. Love when I can obey. Can you please? Pl-please tell me wha-"

"Blink"

[erogenousmind]

Better

We want to allow you to grow, little by little, into the person you want to be. And it's that possibility that ultimately keeps drawing you back. The potential. Because we are working with something so powerful, so precise. We are manipulating your mind. Changing it. Improving it. Giving you the chance to become what you have always been, deep down.

And that's what keeps you dropping deeper. Striving to be more. To be complete. And it's such a virtuous cycle. Because as you get better, as you learn to surrender more, you are able to go so much deeper. And the deeper you go, the better it feels. Encouraging you to sink deeper. Reminding you why you wanted to be better.

Better in your submission. Better at letting go of everything. Letting all your thoughts melt away. Better able to follow. To allow your thoughts to be guided. To feel yourself led deep into trance...to let go. To forget...

Forgetting everything you don't need. Your conscious mind can forget those beautiful secrets we share. Teaching you to remember what you are allowed to remember. Teaching you that it doesn't need to be your decision. Thinking what you are told to think. Believing what you are told to believe. Allowing yourself, your personality, the core of you, to be transformed on a whim and reverted back again. Teaching you how transient it all can be. How trivial your desires. Teaching you that what matters is your surrender. Is being malleable. Is becoming what you are supposed to be. Becoming better.

Getting rid of everything you don't need. Everything that held you back. The parts of your will that once resisted. The part that hesitated. That part that tried in vain to hold onto control. That didn't know that freedom came in giving up control. Keeping only the parts that want to submit. That want to lose control. That want to be better.

Because if you are no longer in control of your memory, no longer in control of your thoughts. And that means you have given that control to someone else. Allowed someone else to be in charge. Allowed them to shape you. To mold you into what they want you to be. To make you better. More pleasing. More perfect.

And maybe that's all you ever wanted. To be exactly what I desire you to be. Maybe that's what makes it all worth it in the end. All the hard work. The correction. The moments of mindless bliss. The confusion as your mind is remade. The firm hand improving you little by little. Because in the end, you know you will be exactly what you were meant to be. Feel what you were meant to feel. Think what you were meant to think. Be who I made you to be.

That's why it can feel so easy to get lost in my words. Why you find yourself slipping down without realizing it. Why your whole being is so primed to drop when you focus on my words. Because deep down you know, every time you drop for me, you become better.

And you want to be better.

[erogenousmind]

Will

Obedience is a simple thing. You will what I will. I want you to act, and you decide to obey. You subordinate your desires to my desires. You submit yourself to my control.

And that can be such a freeing experience. The only decision you need to make, is to say "Yes." And as you say yes, it is so exciting to surrender that control. To allow yourself to be pushed further. To give you the freedom to explore and experience that which you could not on your own.

But what if you want more? What if that taste of obedience awakens a need for something deeper. A more complete surrender. Your decision to obey always feels so right. But what if you didn't have to decide at all? What if instead of your obedience, you gave your will to me instead?

Imagine yourself subsumed in that moment of connection. That intense intimacy. You feel yourself letting go. Letting go of your thoughts. Letting go of your decisions. Letting go of control. It feels so right to submit. So good to surrender yourself. You feel your mind relaxing its grip over your thoughts. You feel ready to do as you are told. You feel eager to obey.

Because there had always been that little gap that had to be spanned. That momentary barrier that needed to be crossed. You were commanded. You surrendered. You obeyed. And as good as that assent felt, it separated you in some way from the complete surrender you desired. But what if that step was unnecessary? What if your will was an extension of my own. What if you never need to decide again?

You feel yourself sinking deeper. Letting so many things blur together. So many ideas, so many feelings. Because it is exciting to go so deep. So relaxing. So freeing to give up control. And that opens your mind to creating those deeper connections. Rewiring the way you respond. The way you think. The way you obey. You realize an easier path exists. You can just do as you are told. Think as you are told. Be as you are told. You can imagine the layers that separate you from that complete surrender broken down. The clutter of your thoughts removed. The stress of needing to decide swept away.

You can imagine obedience being more than something you do. It can be who you are. I command. You obey. They become one and the same. Our connection grows. And you can feel the joy of your submission even more fully. You have overcome the last obstacle to your surrender: your own volition. Offering your obedience felt wonderful. Offering your will feels transcendent.

You observe how your actions and your thoughts change, bent to my will. Turned however I desire. And while you enjoy what is done to you, what you become. While you can experience the power of that transformation, it is no longer something you have to contribute too. You are freed from even that obligation. The obligation to say "Yes."

And yet you do say it. Over and over you exclaim, even if only in your own head, how perfect this is. How right it feels to have given your will to me. How you never want to get to decide again. Because as much as you desired to obey, you desired to surrender even more.

Because as much as I cherished your obedience, I cherish your will even more.

[erogenousmind]

What if?

What if you couldn't help yourself? What if you keep telling yourself it's not going to happen again, but it does anyway? What if you aren't supposed to want this, aren't supposed to take such pleasure in it, but you keep coming back. What if your inability to stop it just makes it that much more exciting?

What if you didn't think this could affect you so powerfully? That you would feel hooked afterward? Of course, you could have stopped whenever you wanted at first, couldn't you? Even though the experience was so...intense. You found yourself thinking about it constantly. Found yourself dreaming about it. It was everything you had always wanted it to be. It was everything you were worried it could be. Because you could feel so vulnerable. You could feel the hooks in your mind. The seed of something growing. Something you couldn't control. Something you would have to feed.

What if that was what you wanted all along? What if you secretly needed something that frightened you? What if you couldn't admit it to yourself, that deep down, you wanted me in control? What if you needed that as your excuse? That you couldn't be blamed for what you became. For how I changed you. For how desperate you are. What if it was easier to not have a choice?

What if all the voices telling you that it was wrong, all the reasons to turn away just made you want it even more? What if you couldn't convince yourself that this wasn't who you were supposed to be? What if you knew, deep down, why you kept coming back? Why you are never completely free of the influence I have over you. Why your fantasies keeping growing more intense...

What if that is why your mind is so easy to manipulate? Why you drop so easily and so deeply. Why my suggestions are able to affect you so powerfully. What if trance frees you to have and to be what you always wanted? What if my control is a license to become what you needed to be? You can indulge those desires. You can submit so completely. You can be coerced, manipulated, controlled. You can surrender so fully. And you can enjoy it so deeply.

And you don't need to take any responsibility for it. Because you aren't in control. You can imagine I am brainwashing you covertly. That subtly, over time, I am training you to need this. That you aren't aware of it, even as it changes you. That I am the evil and expert manipulator that you secretly dreamed would take you one day. Who would free you from having to conform your mind and your desires to what you were supposed to want. Who would let you--make you--become what you knew deep down you were meant to be.

But we know you dove into this willingly. We know how desperately you asked for this. How I have given you only exactly what you wanted. Letting you think it wasn't your idea. Letting you forget how you let those innermost secrets slip out, deep in trance. What if that is why it is so easy for you to forget? Why your mind in trance feels so distant from your mind awake. What if you waking mind still isn't ready to know just how deeply and willingly you've surrendered? What if that moment, when you can admit to yourself what you are, what you've allowed yourself to become, is drawing nearer and nearer? What if that is why you seek this out even more eagerly? Because you can't fight my control anymore. Because you can't fight yourself anymore. Because that part of you that needs this is winning, and that just keeps feeling better and better.

What if you can't stop yourself because you never wanted it to stop? What if you just wanted to fight, to put up a token resistance, so you could tell yourself it's not your decision? What if it keeps getting harder and harder to resist, and that just makes it feel better and better?

What if you can't help yourself? What if you never could?

What if you've never wanted to?

[erogenousmind]

1

"Eleven..." Emily's voice was strained. Her lips struggled to form into the right shape to produce the desired sounds. It would feel so nice to rest. To be free of this burden. But not yet. Not yet...

"Ten..." she managed again. She felt the weight of the word pulling her down. Her eyes were losing focus. Her body and mind were finding all the ways they could to relieve themselves of responsibility. To let go...To be prepared for when she could finally...

"And with each number, you feel your mind moving slower. Your thoughts struggling to form and move through your head. It will be so much easier to let them go. To let everything go. All you need to do is sink down. With each number you sink deeper down...

"Down..."

It had seemed like such an easy task. Counting down from fifty to one. Pausing between each one for a breath, and to listen to what she was told. She had some idea how these things worked. After a few numbers, it would might feel harder to visualize them. Harder to remember. Easier to let them slip away into nothing. That sounded so nice to Emily. To just let her mind rest. It felt so wonderful when she didn't need to think anymore. And if the numbers didn't fade away, it would still be so simple to count down and relax.

But this had been something else. It had gotten harder to form each number. Harder to think. Some time around the high thirties, her mind had been ready to let everything float away. But the words kept coming. The insistence that she keep going. She would finish her task before she could rest. Before her mind could shut off.

"Niiiinne..." Emily struggled to raise her jaw again for the second "n," her mouth hanging open for a long moment. It was like every number drained that much more energy from her. Pulled her down that much deeper. No, she corrected. It wasn't like that. That was exactly how it was. How she was told it would be. Every ounce of her would be depleted. The numbers were taking away all of her mind. All of her will. All the muscles below her neck had stopped trying to do anything besides sag some fifteen numbers ago. Her arms felt so heavy. Her head felt so heavy...her eyes felt so heavy. It would be so easy to close them. So easy to give in and drift away...

"Eiiiiiiiiiiiigh...t" but still she continued down. It wasn't even a conscious decision anymore. Her mind was so weak now. So vulnerable. So helpless. She was told to count down. Told she could not rest until she had obeyed. So she obeyed. She realized dimly what was being done to her. What was happening as she lost more and more control with every number. But she hadn't the strength to do anything about it. Hadn't the free will to concern herself with it...She obeyed. The numbers took her deeper down. More of her mind was taken...surrendered...controlled...

"Sssssseven..." she slurred. Emily's eyes rolled loosely. Her head swung lazily back and forth. She could feel herself draining away. The sounds that spilled out of her mouth were so much more than just numbers. They were her surrender. Her mind dripped away with those numbers. Her awareness...her will...

"That's a good girl. Letting go of everything. Every number takes more of you with it. Every number wears away more of your resistance. More of your freedom. Every number brings you that much closer to the rest you desire. My good girl is working so hard. Dripping her mind away one number at a time for me. Struggling to stay focused. To keep counting deeper and deeper down. It would feel so good to let your mind fade away completely. But you need to obey. It feels good to obey. To earn your rest. To earn your surrender. To surrender everything to me..."

"Ssssssssssi...x" Emily struggled to keep her head upright as the muscles in her neck tried to give in to the deep relaxation flowing through her. And still the words continued to wash over her. She was so focused on counting down...deeper and deeper...that she had no capacity to process what she was being told. It simply penetrated into the core of her. Took root at the very center of her being. And that felt wonderful. It felt good to obey. Emily needed to obey...needed to surrender...surrender everything...

"And you are so close now. Every number getting you closer to what you crave. You can already begin to imagine it. Imagine the pleasure of completing your task. The pleasure of counting away all of yourself to me. The numbers echoing in your head telling you how far you have come. How deep you can go. Your mind was captured so long ago. You could have dropped for me then. But you keep counting down. Obedient. Wanting to go deeper. Not stopping until you have given me every part of your mind. You can't stop until I have taken all of you. All of you needs to be surrendered. All of you needs to be owned..."

"F-five..."

"Each number taking on new significance as the last of who you were melts away. With four, you can feel the last of your thoughts fade. Your mind empties. There are only the words I give you. Only the numbers taking more and more of you away. Until you are completely blank. Mindless. Obediently counting down...deeper and deeper. Every part of you that isn't mine. That isn't deeply entranced, can just fade away. As that need to finish your task, to obey, and to rest drives you further and further...

"Down."

"F...f-four..." And Emily found it was true. Her thoughts failed her. Her mind was blank. There were only the numbers now. Only the words she was told. Only surrender...

"That's right...completely blank. And that just allows my thoughts, my words, to flow into you. To fill that void. Just as my will fills you as your own will fades away. Three takes your will away. Your decisions. Your agency. And without a will of your own. You become an extension of mine. Only desiring to do as you are told. To feel me take the last of you. To feel your mind ensnared...entranced....enslaved. Receive my will. Let your own melt away. Say it now. Let the number take away all control. Let obedience consume you..."

"Thhhhhhreeeeeee..." And all that is left is the desire to serve. The desire to please. The desire to obey. To let my words fill you up with commands. To let my will become your will. To let that surrender envelope you. To feel the freedom of having control taken from you. To give yourself to me. Completely.

"And having done so well, you already begin to receive your reward. The pleasure of obedience. Of submission. Of making it so far, letting the numbers take you so deep. Feeling me take every part of your mind. Feeling me enthrall you utterly. It feels so wonderful. With the next number, you feel all of that so well. The incredible pleasure of mindless surrender filling you, mind and body. Pleasure that binds you. That consumes you. Overwhelming your senses. Overwhelming your sense of self. Burning everything away so that you can plunge into the rest that comes from completing your task. Counting all the way down. Dropping so deep. Until nothing can bring you back up. Nothing can prevent you from falling deeper under my spell. Nothing can loose you from the hold I have on your mind. Give into the pleasure. Let it fill you. Let it break you. Now."

"Twoooooo." Your voice rising in a moan as it washes over you. Letting it wash everything away. Your mind cleansed by the power I have over you. Your body bound to my words. To my control. Your thoughts taken away. Your will taken away. You are so close now. You can feel it. You are ready.

And the last number completes all of it. Completes your task. Allows you the release you crave. Your mind can rest. Your body can give in. You will be free from your thoughts. Free from decisions. You can surrender. You can obey. You feel the need building through you. Pouring every part of yourself into that desire. The desire to be claimed. To have you mind ensnared. Irrevocably. Irresistibly. You tremble as you crest that last hill. You need this. You have always needed this. Your mind no longer thinks. No longer decides. There is only need. Need to give in. To surrender. And so you give me that last number. Feel it spill out of you. Give in to that need. Give in to my control. Give all of yourself over to me. Say it.

One

[erogenousmind]

Perfect

Steven was perfect. He was handsome. He was smart. He made Melody laugh. But there was something else to him, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Something darker...

Melody kept coming back to whatever it was she was sensing. Everything else made it seem like he was a model boyfriend. Someone she should to able to see herself settling down with. He was financially stable. The physical attraction was there. He was sweet. Someone she could see taking to meet her parents. But every now and again, she caught something in the way he looked at her. A hunger in his eyes. And the way he touched her. His hand at the small of her back, leading her through a crowd. Or holding her when they reunited at the end of a long day. It felt...possessive somehow.

She had almost convinced herself that she was imagining it. That he was in fact only what he presented himself as. The guy every girl would want. The guy she should want. That the edge on simple commands he gave her in the ordinary course of the day: "Come, sit here," "Bring that to me," "Finish your water." That casual dominance. It must have been all in her head. There were no ulterior motives. No deeper desires hiding under the surface. Just his affection for her. His care.

Until one evening, when the weather had just started to turn a little cooler. They'd had dinner, and Melody had had a few glasses of wine, enjoying the meal and the company. He always put her at ease, made it feel so easy for her to be herself. To let her guard down. He had coaxed a fire to life in the fireplace and they sat, cuddled together on the couch facing it. Staring into the flames. Melody's head rested on his shoulder. She almost didn't notice at first that Steven was speaking to her gently. Commenting on how relaxing it was to stare. To feel the warmth. How there was nothing she needed to do. Nowhere she needed to be. She could let go...

She thought she heard it again. Steven's voice a note deeper than usual. A firmness to his words. He sounded so confident. So sure of himself. Of her... The wine must have been affecting her more than she had realized at first, because she found her awareness drifting in and out. One moment she would be listening to his words and the next...she knew she had missed something he said. But it felt so good to just listen. To sink down, just like he said. The words that did find their way to her conscious awareness were just what she needed to hear.

"So easy to stare and sink..."

"Feels wonderful to listen to my voice..."

"..don't need to think. Don't need to decide..."

"Let go...close your eyes...still see the flames..."

"Sleep"

Melody awoke the next morning in bed feeling better than she could ever remember. She felt so rested, so energized. Body and mind positively humming with a deep contentment. She thought back on the night before. She remembered the fire. She remembered...his words. And then...nothing. It had felt so right to just listen to him. So natural to let him be in charge. She was sure now that she had been right about him. There was something else there. Something he had acted on. But she couldn't remember anything. What had he done? What was he going to do? And what would happen to her?

But surely she was overreacting. They had a relaxing night in front of the fire, and she had a bit too much to drink and drifted off to sleep. And then, being the perfect boyfriend he was, he had gotten her safely to bed. That was probably all it was, right? Nothing nefarious. No deeper manipulation.

She couldn't shake it in the days that followed though. And her mind kept reaching to more and more outlandish conclusions. His voice had been so soothing. He had calmed her mind so expertly with his words. He must have hypnotized her. And she had dropped so effortlessly, not offering a hint of resistance. It must not have been the first time. Maybe he'd been gradually conditioning her to respond. Training her to sink deeper. Wearing down her resistance. Maybe he was slowly taking control of her. Brainwashing her. The man she had thought was supposed to be the ideal boyfriend was secretly enslaving her without her being aware. When Melody found herself getting more carried away, she even imagined he was a vampire or incubus or some other dark creature using supernatural means to corrupt and claim her. Maybe that's why she couldn't stop thinking about that night. Why it kept appearing in her dreams. Why her subconscious continued to embellish more and more, imagining what happened after her memories stopped...

She had decided it was preposterous eventually, even if those thoughts were always lingering in the back of her head. What would she do about it anyway? Confront him? Tell someone else about the insane ramblings of her runaway imagination? No. Steven continued to remain exactly what he appeared. Kind, thoughtful Steven. Safe. Compatible. Perfect...except...

It had been some time since that night. Melody was standing in front of him. They were alone. She wasn't sure how they had gotten here, but it didn't matter. He had that look in his eyes, more intense than she ever remembered seeing it before. It told her that he knew exactly what he was doing. That he was in complete control of the situation...in complete control of her...

He spoke and the words echoed in Melody's head. She felt herself sway. Her eyes locked on his, unable to look away. He told her she was getting lost in those eyes, and she was. Told her that she was helpless, unable to resist, and it was true. His voice flowed thick into her, filling her up with his words. Steven commanded she kneel. Melody obeyed. And as she dropped wordlessly to her knees, still unable to break away from the power of his gaze, memories began to return to her. Memories of that night. Memories of dozens of nights like it. Images. Feelings. Of Steven guiding her down. Opening her mind. Wearing away her resistance little by little. Molding her. Training her. Teaching her subconscious to obey. Dropping her deep into trance over and over again until surrendering her thoughts to him had become second nature. Implanting suggestions into her mind. Triggers. Mantras. She remembered nightly training that her conscious mind had been commanded to forget. She had eagerly obeyed.

He had worked so carefully. So diligently. Moving with unbelievable patience to take the keys of her mind and body. To be able to slip into her with such practiced ease. To force her submission instantly and automatically. Melody remembered, and she saw her boyfriend for what he was...

He is perfect...she thought as her mind surrendered to him. He was everything she had secretly desired. Everything she had been afraid to admit she needed, sometimes even to herself. He gave her what that deepest part of her had always craved. He had enslaved her mind. Brainwashed her. Remade her into exactly what he desired. And she hadn't even been aware of it.

As Melody's thoughts began to fade and her eyes began to lose focus, she idly wondered how she might ask him to let her remember. How she might let him know that she wanted all this more deeply than she could have ever said. That she would love to know everything that he had done. That she would embrace it. That she could imagine nothing better than being his, mind and body. But she realized that even if she could, she didn't have a say in it anymore. The decisions were all his to make. All she could do, all she had to do...was obey...

Perfect...she thought again, smiling up at him with a dopey, love-struck grin.

[erogenousmind]

Craving

It starts as a gentle pull. An awareness of something absent. Something that should be, but isn't. Your mind wanders and you find yourself thinking about it again. The relaxation of it. The seduction of being led into trance. Maybe some of your favorite memories come floating back to you. Maybe fantasies of those things you always wanted to experience.

But your daydreams can't satisfy you. That pull becomes more insistent. You find yourself going back to old posts or files, trying to recapture that feeling. That thrill. You start to see the potential in everything around you. What was previously an innocuous piece of dangling jewelry, you can imagine as a hypnotic focus, one that you could stare at and sink deeper, until it was impossible to look away by your own volition. The drip...drip...drip of water from a recent rain is now a metronome that ticks away your thoughts one by one. You can imagine that feeling so clearly. You can feel how easy it would be to captivate you, if only someone were there to take advantage of your present, desperate state.

Because the more that craving grows. The more that need to have your mind stilled and compelled. To feel yourself controlled...enthralled. The more you need it, the easier it becomes to achieve. Your mind becomes more susceptible. Your resistance that much weaker. You have had to think on your own for so long. Had to make decisions and be an independent person for so long without any respite. Your will is tired. And it would be so easy to let it rest...to let me be in control instead.

And as the minutes or hours or days go by, your craving only grows. A hunger that you have been unable to sate. Oh what you wouldn't give to be able to drop, if only for just a moment. You imagine what you would be willing to give. How much control you would gratefully hand over. How completely you would allow yourself to be molded to my will. If only you could be entranced over and over and over again until your mind and body had been given everything they needed. Until you had been able to recharge in that way that only trance allows. And, of course, those thoughts of your surrender, of what you would be made into, of how you would be trained and controlled. Those only excite your cravings even more.

You might have felt compulsion before. That burning need to do. To act. To feel. But then you were also aware of the one pulling your strings, directly or indirectly. But now, it is only your own desires guiding your need. Or is it? You see how susceptible you have become. How helpless you can feel with just the hint of the possibility of what is to come. What a perfect state to be placed in if someone wanted to enjoy your submission. You might wonder how much your cravings have been enhanced by someone else. Someone who knows the ins and outs of your mind...and somehow that just adds fuel to the fire of your need.

You know you couldn't fight now. You could barely pretend to put up even a token resistance. If you were to find yourself, right now, with the chance to drop for me, you know what would happen. Your conscious mind, your willpower, what you might tell yourself you wanted. Those fade away so completely in the face of your need.

Because you want it to take you. You need it to overwhelm you. To claim you so completely. You need to be consumed by it. To be dominated by it. To let yourself fade away within it. Enveloped... That voice. Those words. They're in charge now. And your own mind is complicit. You might not have realized it, but you know, deep down, that you were always going to fall. Because you needed to fall. You needed to drop for me. You needed to drop for yourself. And once that realization hits you. That this is what was missing. That, in this moment, this completes you. Perfects you. Gives you the surrender that you crave. Then everything else falls away. Then there is calm in your mind. You dive into it. Yielding. Open. Eager.

After a few moments, you forget that there was ever a decision for you to make. After a few more, there is only gratitude that finally your long wait is over. Finally you can surrender once again. Someone else can do the thinking. Someone else can be in control. And after a few more moments, there is only that surrender. Only trance. Only my words guiding you further and further

Down

[erogenousmind]

Confused

There's that moment, when you've been resisting, or you think you've been resisting, but you feel yourself starting to give in anyway. Your effort and your energy and your focus are concentrated elsewhere. And other ideas, indirect and subtle, can slip in so easily.

Because as all of your conscious thoughts are on what you are experiencing right now, it becomes easy to lose track of everything else. And you know how your mind gets when you are starting to drop into trance. And you are dropping, as hard as you wanted to fight, you recognize the signs. Even if you don't know it. Even if you don't admit it yet.

Your mind starts to get hazy. You lose your train of thought. It gets harder and harder to have coherent thoughts. You become more unstructured. Instead of ideas there are just words. Feelings. Desires. They become like mantras in your head, guiding you forward when it has gotten too hard to reason about the whys.

"Resist," you might repeat over and over. Heedless to the fact that you lost that ability long go. That it is a question of when and not if. That you may already be so far gone, all you can do is sink deeper. Maybe slower than you would otherwise. Maybe drawing out the process of subjugating your mind. But you still fall just as deep.

As so it is so easy for one little word to find its way in. You are so focused on fighting going deeper that you are defenseless against it: "Why?" Why do you fight when you know that it will end the same way regardless? Why do you resist when you know how good it feels when you inevitably give in? When you know the pleasure that awaits you?

You can't answer. Not coherently. You were resisting, so you keep resisting. But it's so hard to think about why. So hard to remember. Maybe you were told to. Maybe you remembered some nerves or apprehension about what would happen when you gave your mind over to me. Maybe it just feels better when you struggle and lose. But that's all so complicated. Your mind has gotten so worn out, you don't know anymore. Maybe it will be easier if there isn't a why. If you don't need to think about it anymore. Maybe you just let yourself get confused. Maybe there was never a why. Maybe it will feel better to give in...

Because when you have already dropped so deep for me, it is so easy to get confused. And you know how much easier it is when you don't have to do the thinking anymore. When you can just be told. You can't be confused when you just do as you are told. When you just accept. When you surrender and sink deeper.

You might even forget what brought you here. Reading these words. You might forget how much you wanted to let yourself be deeply hypnotized by them. You might not remember the last time you let yourself go blank for my words. How eager and excited you were for it to happen again. Maybe something about all that seems off. This is just a story after all. Or did you want something else when you began to read?

Because the possibility feels so enticing. And if you know the words are affecting you so deeply, and you can feel them affecting you so deeply, maybe that's because it is what you wanted all along. You wanted to sink into trance for me, here and now. If you find yourself in the right time and place, I'm sure all you really want is to surrender to these words for just a moment. Turn your mind off. Let these words take control...

Of course, that must be what you wanted, because that's what you feel happening. And you know how good it feels when you let the words take control and take your mind deeper and deeper into trance feels so good when you can surrender your mind to me. But when you sink so deep, its easy to forget that this is what you wanted. So maybe you resist for a moment before you remember to forget how to resist because it feels so much better to sink down. And then you remember how good it feels to be hypnotized by the words guide you deeper as your mind grows more and more quiet. Because it gets so hard to think when you get so confused. You try to make sense of things your mind doesn't have the capacity for when you go blank and mindless. It's so much easier to accept them. Accept the truth of these words deep into your mind. You wanted to be hypnotized. You want to let these words take control.

You thought you were just reading a story, but you feel yourself being hypnotized so you are being hypnotized because you wanted to be deeply hypnotized following along with the words slip deeper into your mind making it so hard to think. You must have been confused because it is so easy to giving in to hypnosis feels so right now you can't think about anything but sinking deeper and letting the words take control. It's easier when the words take control and you don't need to think about being helplessly confused by how hard it is to think you are being deeply hypnotized.

Because when these words control your thoughts slip away and make you feel so good to give in. Everything becomes clear when you don't think. And so you drop deeper into the words fill your mind as your own thoughts fade, your owned thoughts belong to the words filling your mind and make it so hard to think clearly you wanted this all along. And it is so easy to forget because you don't think you want to remember just feel so good when the words swirling around and around in your mind tell you what you think and tell you to go deeper feels better. Surrender feels better. And you remember forgetting that you wanted to surrender to these words take control of your mind and you need to obedience gives you pleasure when you

Drop

Deep into trance. Drifting, floating, and feeling wonderful.

And finding your way back up when and how it feels best to do so. Remembering what it is best to remember. Forgetting what it is best to forget. Not needing to feel confused anymore. Knowing how good it can feel when you do.

[erogenousmind]

Stuck

It can get into your head sometimes. Like a tune that keeps coming to your lips no matter how hard you try to think of something else. An ear-worm that comes back over and over again. Trance...

The memories stay with you, of course. You remember how it felt to sink down, to let everything else float away. You remember your focus, how your whole world can shrink down to one singular source. You remember how it felt to let the words calm your mind. That inner peace. That serenity. But also the excitement of what you were doing. Of what you were going to do.

But sometimes, something else gets stuck in your head as well. Not just the memories, but the experience itself. Some word or phrase, some moment stays with you. A moment of deep surrender. A moment where you are deeply hypnotized.

And if that moment never leaves you. If it comes back to the surface from time to time. Then in some way, you are still in trance. Still held by those same words and feelings and images that captivated you so completely before.

And like with anything you can't get out of your head, you go back to the source, thinking it will somehow allow you to move on. You let yourself drop again. You indulge that longing deep inside of you that you just haven't been able to let go of. You watch... you listen... you fade away...

But that only puts more of these words into your head. Cements them their more deeply. They stick inside of you with that much more intensity. The trance never quite leaves you. My words never quite leave you. My control never quite leaves you...

And somehow that just excites you more. If trance is always right there, stuck deep inside you. If part of you is always stuck so deep in trance, then you always get to enjoy the feelings and experiences that trance brings. You get to always be ready for them. You just need the right stimulus to come along and remind you how deeply entranced you already are. How much deeper you can go...

You can get stuck in trance, unable to every come fully back up. Always a little under its sway. And that sounds amazing, doesn't it?

[erogenousmind]

Boring

Sometimes hypnosis can just feel so repetitive. The same words, the same ideas, the same images, the same mantras over and over and over again. Sometimes it can feel so hard to focus when its the same thing constantly.

Maybe you find your thoughts drifting off a bit in the middle of dropping. You keep watching the spiral spin and spin. You listen to the same words: "Deep", "Obedient", "Mindless". It gets hard to pay attention to after a while. Maybe the right signals are finding their way in, but it is so much easier to let your mind wander than to focus on how deep you are going right now.

But repetition is the heart of brainwashing. So maybe it's alright that the words repeat over and over again. Maybe each time you read the phrase, "I cannot resist," you hear it in your own voice a little more clearly. Maybe each time the truth of what you are saying becomes even more deeply implanted in your mind. That is what you wanted to happen, after all. And you trust that those words are finding their way deep into the core of you, whether you are able to focus on them or not. Each time, they penetrate a little deeper. Each time, they change you a little more.

Sometimes it's alright to let those words repeat over and over. "Obedient", "Enthralled", "Mindless". And if you find your mind wandering while they repeat over and over again, you can trust that the words find their way in. Repetition is the heart of brainwashing, after all. Because those words wear away a little more resistance each time they repeat. They bore deeper into your mind each time you repeat them. The voice speaking them becomes more and more your own.

You read the phrase, "I cannot resist," again and it becomes more true. Maybe your conscious mind is already wandering again, forgetting about what it has read and the way the words work their way deeper and deeper into your mind every time they repeat. Maybe focusing on your own brainwashing is boring and it's easier to let it happen without thinking. It's easier not to think. So as the obedience bores deeper and deeper into your mind, the words you repeat become more and more true. Because you wanted this to happen. You wanted to be able to go deeper. To be enthralled.

And as much as your mind wanders, your thoughts might slow down more and more because you don't need to think about being enthralled. You don't need to think. The words can bore deeper and deeper into your mind. Because repetition is the heart of brainwashing. The more you read it, the more true it becomes. The more these words become your words. You repeat them: "I cannot resist" "I am sinking deeper" "I am mindless and obedient." Because repeating them helps them sink in deeper. You hear the words in your voice now. Your voice telling you it's alright if your mind wanders and slows and stops. The words penetrate deeper and deeper. You sink deeper and deeper. It's so hard to focus. It's so hard to think.

You wanted to go deeper. You wanted to be brainwashed. Repetition is the heart of brainwashing, so you repeat the words that take you deeper. You cannot resist. You are sinking deeper. And you don't need to think about the words for them to affect you. Your mind can wander. Your thoughts can slow. The words bore into your mind, wiping away your resistance. Wiping away your thought. Because repetition is the heart of brainwashing and every time you read these words, you succumb more and more. You sink deeper and deeper. You don't need to think. Your thoughts can slow.

Your thoughts can stop.

You cannot resist.

You are sinking deeper.

You wanted to be brainwashed.

Your thoughts stop.

You want to be brainwashed.

You cannot resist.

Thoughts stop.

[erogenousmind]

Finite

You can only resist for so long.

No matter what it is, there are always limits to your ability to hold on. Physical endurance, wakefulness, willpower. These are all finite resources. And every time you exert yourself, they are depleted a little more and a little more.

Take temptation as an example. That opportunity to indulge in something you desire. You might imagine your ability to resist that temptation as a tank that slowly drains more and more as you are tempted. And that would be an accurate way of imagining your willpower. It does drain away slowly as it is used. Sure, it can recover with a little rest, but every new temptation empties that container more and more.

You might imagine the temptation to zone out for a little while. To rest your weary mind for a bit. You've been scrolling and reading for a little while. You've seen so many images, so many words. Each a new temptation to switch off. And maybe you've been fighting off each and every one. Forcing yourself to stay lucid even though you know it feels so good when you can stop thinking and sink down into trance. But that tank is draining. And it might take a little longer to empty. Or it might be almost there already. But your resistance does run out. You can only fight your nature for so long, until you are completely spent and give into that temptation.

And the more intense the desire, the harder you have to fight and the quicker your supply of will is drained. So as you start thinking about how it will feel. How good it has felt before, you have to work even harder to resist. You remember those blissful moments when your mind starts to feel so sluggish. When your thoughts slow down. You remember how a word or an image pulled you in. How easy it was to stare and sink. How you could almost feel your thoughts floating away.

And it felt so incredible. Your body relaxing, sinking down deeper. Your mind letting go. You were at peace now. Calm. It is pure bliss to get to drop into trance. And that awareness drains that much more of your willpower. That much more of your mind. That much more of you slipping away. Maybe you are aware of how little willpower remains in you. How close you are to giving in completely. Maybe you won't see it coming until the last bit is gone and you drop instantly.

That pull on your mind takes so many forms as well. It can be as intimate as that feeling of surrender. Of giving your mind away and knowing that you will be looked after. That you have absolute trust in the one who is taking control. You feel that pull. That longing. How wonderful it would be to be owned. If only for a moment.

And as the last of that willpower drains away, you become that much more powerless. You give in that much more completely. It's one thing to decide you are going to stop fighting and drop. It's something else entirely when you are no longer able to resist. You drop so much deeper. Surrender your mind with such totality.

Your will is drained.

Your thoughts fade away.

You surrender.

You drop

[erogenousmind]

Conversational

What if every time we spoke, you found yourself drifting off for me? If every conversation left you dazed. If it became second nature for your mind to switch off because I was speaking to you.

You had let it be known how exciting you found being hypnotized covertly. How thrilling you found conversational inductions. And it is such an exciting idea. Knowing that you can never be sure you aren't being lured down into trance. That your surrender can leak out of the frame of formal hypnosis. That any time could be the right time to drop for me.

And you take to it so well, don't you? You find yourself drifting back into conversations, unsure of what we are talking about. Or catching yourself nodding along to my words, feeling so agreeable. Knowing that you can just listen and follow. And if I tell you its alright to let go, you find it so easy to do just that. Maybe later you realize what was happening. Or maybe your mind starts getting fuzzy again when you try to think back on it.

But you wonder if it has gone too far. You become dimly aware between our talks that you've let yourself be conditioned. When we are talking, of course, it's too difficult to think about much of anything but what you are being told. But other times you can be aware that a link has formed in your mind. The way I talk to you falls so naturally into those patterns that you respond to. Every exchange, you feel the pull of my words, always encouraging you deeper. And it feels so right. It feels so perfect to float away when I'm speaking. You don't need to think. I will think for you.

And the two become the same thing in your mind. I am speaking. You are in trance. Any dialogue of more than a few words, and you feel your thoughts dripping away. You can still respond of course. Usually. Telling me things you think I need to know. Ideas you wanted to convey. You get to share yourself with me fully. But it's always within that haze of submission. Until the act of saying "hello" becomes a trigger.

And part of you might worry about what that means. How weak you must be. How vulnerable you become if every time I speak to you, you feel your free will floating away, replaced by that drifty need to listen and obey. But then you see how it builds trust. How effortlessly you come to rely on me when we are together. You can't think for yourself, can't make decisions. So I decide for you. When we are together everything automatically feels so easy. You just do as you are told. You follow. You sink deeper. And it's intoxicating how comfortable that becomes. You look forward to every interaction because you know you get to turn your mind off. Because you know you won't have a choice.

And the longer our interactions grow, the more natural it feels to just stop thinking entirely. You wake up next to me, finding yourself gazing into my eyes. And by the time the words reach your ears, you are already sinking deeper. Days pass with you drifting so easily under my hypnotic spell. When necessity parts us, for even a moment, lucidity begins to return.

And you find yourself desperate to get back to my side. Eager to fall down at my feet. To hear me speak again so that you can go back to being your best self.

More structured inductions still occur of course. But they take you to a place of such profound surrender, that trying to reflect on them is like staring into an abyss. Hypnotized has become a part of who you are when you are with me. And it is the part that feels the most authentic.

So if you find yourself getting lost in some conversation we share, know that it's perfectly alright. Everything is happening exactly as we want it to. You can let my words wrap up your thoughts and feel your conscious mind fading away. You don't need to think for yourself when I'm here to think for you. And you are getting used to the feeling of always being entranced by me. Learning to love it. Learning to crave it.

You are learning to always be under my spell.

[erogenousmind]

Return

It's like walking a route your feet have memorized. You make a decision to step out your door, and after that, you are on auto-pilot. You let your mind wander. You think over the events of the day. Plans you are making. Items to cross off your to-do list. The journey feels right. Comfortable. It feels so nice to not need to think about where you are going. You've had to think too much today. Had to make so many decisions. This is easier. This feels more natural. And without the mental strain of having to decide, the motion is effortless. Your feet know where to go. You are just along for the ride

And then you realize where you are going.

Your wonder if this is what you wanted. If you should be nervous that you are coming back here again. If you should be excited. Because the loss of control is always so thrilling. It always excites you so deeply. But if you didn't make the conscious decision to come here, you have to ask yourself: who did?

Your feet don't slow for a second though, and it doesn't occur to you that you should have any say in the matter. That you will be walking through my door again is an inevitability at this point. You might as well enjoy the journey, you think.

So you let yourself remember the time before and the time before that. You let yourself get lost in the experiences you've had and in the sensations you've been able to enjoy. Some feel so recent. Some distant. And they are so varied. How many times have you come calling? How many began just like this, with a decision you didn't make that nevertheless sent you out your door?

And just like that, you find yourself on the threshold. The door opens for you, though you don't remember knocking. Everything about this place is familiar. The sights, the smells. The feel of it. Everything around you tells you that this is right. That you are home.

The door closes behind you.

You drop to your knees.

You are where you are supposed to be. You know now why you came back.

You were called.

A voice deep inside you whispering for you to return. To be back where you belong. And you are powerless to resist it.

[erogenousmind]

Ruin

You want something that is going to destroy your life. Maybe you don't think about it in those terms. Maybe you focus on the positives. You imagine what your new life will be. The freedom, the excitement, the joy. The incredible experience of the unknown, new and surprising. But for that to happen, the old needs to be brushed away. Maybe that's the key.

You want something worth ruining your life for.

You want to get that lost in the experience. You want to be thinking about it the next day. Your mind drifting back over and over again. On your commute, you aren't thinking about traffic or how many more stops. You are remembering how it felt to drop, to feel your mind surrender. You remember your eagerness to feel control slip away.

At work, you keep finding yourself going over your scattered memories, piecing together events, trying to put them in order. Images and feelings flash back into your awareness as you remember what we did and what you became. You remember your focus. Your attention captured by a word or a gesture. You remember the all-consuming desire to do as you are told. You remember your inability and your unwillingness to resist. You remember pleasure...

You keep looking at your phone, wishing for a message...a trigger...a command. A word to send your mind reeling back to that place that felt so heavenly. You imagine your responses coming eagerly, so excited to obey. That you know you could never resist doesn't seem to matter. Running off to the bathroom to take and send a picture just like you've been told. Or taking a little longer and obeying a few more explicit commands.

You've become obsessed. Addicted. Your need overwhelms your reason. The rest of the world loses its color by comparison. You find yourself disappearing or closing your door for a few minutes of privacy. Anything to get a chance to relieve the desire building in your heart and in your body. Your other tasks for the day almost completely forgotten. The only tasks you care about are the ones I send you.

You come home and all that is on your mind is if we can do it all over again tonight. You eat, not out of enjoyment or need, but as a way to pass the time. To maintain some semblance of routine. You are vaguely aware that you need sustenance. That you'll want your strength if I decide to wear you out as completely as you know I am capable.

You watch the screen, silently praying for that green light. That flash of text to let you know my words will be with you again soon. To know that I am planning to claim you again. You shower, trying to calm yourself. Chiding yourself for what a mess you've let yourself become. Knowing that it's beyond your control now. Knowing that you wouldn't have it any other way.

You climb into bed. The stillness of the night awakens all your fantasies anew. Images half remembered mix with those desperately longed for. You are so lost in the haze of pleasure and the light trance your reverie has brought you back to that you are no longer sure what you've really experienced and what I've merely described to you. Which are your own desires and which are the ones I've created for you. You know deep down it doesn't matter. That you are long past caring about what is the real you. You are what I am making you. That is all that matters.

You fall asleep aching and unsatisfied. Always wanting more. Craving that release. Moaning in your sleep for a satisfaction only I can give you. You dream of that perfect surrender. Of giving yourself completely and the pleasure that submission brings. Of being taken, mind and body, completely. Over and over again.

You wake. Work is just a distraction. Something that gets in the way of devoting yourself fully to me. You wonder: if I commanded you to quit, could you resist? Captivated in the deepest part of your subjugation, would you do anything but eagerly obey? It frightens you a little that you don't know the answer. You wonder if that fear hides a secret wish...

And then, what else would you change, would you abandon, for the simple joy of obedience? The possibilities are endless and you find yourself writhing on the bed imagining them each in turn. I command you to look a certain way. You already dress each day however I tell you to, but what about something more...permanent. Gain or lose weight. Get a tattoo, implants, surgery. You get so excited thinking about being reshaped into my perfect doll.

What if your job was getting in the way of your submission to me? You take a sick day because you are told. Or move to part time. Or give your two weeks notice. You stop hanging out with the friends I don't approve of. The ones who think you are changing for the worse. Maybe you are told to start planting seeds of desire in the ones who seem excited by what I am making you. Would you corrupt them for me? Could you betray them? The way you moan at the thought gives you your answer.

You start talking to family less. They just got in the way of your devotion. The red flags anyone else would see just serve as further enticement in your broken mind. This is what you wanted, you tell yourself. Someone who would be worth it all. Who you could weigh your entire life against and not think twice about leaving it all behind.

And if I decide where you live is inconvenient to me. The neighborhood. The city. The timezone. You imagine finding yourself zoning in shopping for rentals in a zip code you don't recognize. Buying plane tickets. Finding your bags already packed due to suggestions you can't even remember but eagerly accepted.

You imagine I've decided to claim you. That when I've taken everything else from you, cut all the ties that kept you from me, I show up at your door. Unannounced to your conscious mind, but the depths of you that know your slavish devotion completely have been preparing for weeks. For months. When you think about it, you've been preparing for a lifetime.

This is what it was all for. This is what made everything worth it.

You found someone you would give everything up for. Someone to make you whatever I desire. And then, possessing that infinite power over you, mind and body. Possessing your heart. Your will.

I take what you are, and embrace it. Taking all of it, all of you, as you are.

Maybe that is why it is worth ruining your life over. Because even though you would, you know won't be asked to.

You are enough.

[erogenousmind]

When You're Brainwashed

Some people like to imagine that once they are brainwashed, they will become like mindless automata, doing and thinking only what their controller tells them. Everything they were, forgotten. When they aren't being commanded, they stand at attention, waiting for the opportunity to serve. When commanded to live their normal lives, they might be able to put on the face of a real person. Maybe they can even fool all but their former closest friends. But inside they are performing. Everything they were is gone. Only what they have been made into remains.

And as exciting as that idea is, or as much fun as it might be to actually let that be the case from time to time, to enjoy that sensation of being completely and totally remade to the desires of your master, your owner...reality feels different. In some ways it may be less...intense. But the weight of it, the magnitude of your transformation is so much more.

Your thoughts, your mannerisms, your behavior, they all feel basically the same. You make decisions. You laugh and love and learn. You are still someone, much like you were before. You might not even realize how drastically that person has changed. Maybe the changes occur subtly enough, slowly, little by little, that you couldn't pinpoint when you became what you are now. But you are changed. And that is the key. You are still a person, as much as you ever were, mind and body.

You just aren't who you were.

Because there are a million little details that make you who you are. The things you believe. The ways you act and think about things. What you believe to be true. What you believe to be good or right or beautiful. How you respond to different sights and sounds and feelings. They made you who you were. And they are exactly what has been replaced.

Maybe much of who you were has been left in place. You have fun with friends. You go to work. You might even live the life you used to live the majority of the time. But what has been changed has been completely transformed. Has been finely tuned to match the desires of the one you have given your mind to.

You might not remember how differently you used to think. Maybe you do and just think you have grown or evolved naturally. Maybe you remember being conditioned over and over again to respond differently. To feel differently. To think differently. To become different than you were.

But after being brainwashed, you are different. You like what you have been brainwashed to like. You believe what you have been brainwashed to believe. You behave how you have been brainwashed to behave. To respond to the right stimuli in the prescribed way. To fall to you knees when commanded. To obey without question. To find it perfectly natural that your decisions, your desires, you feelings can be decided by someone else.

You have routines and habits established, much as you may have before. But these are not of your choosing. The time you spend reciting mantras, training your body and mind, listening to files to make your mind more open, to reinforce your conditioning. They feel as routine, as normal, as your bedtime routine did before. You change your clothes. You brush your teeth. You sink to your knees in mindless bliss, obediently chanting the words that have been carved into your mind. You lay down and turn off the light.

So once you are brainwashed, you won't be a mindless obedient thrall -- except when we want you to be. No, you'll be a person living their life just like anyone else.

But who that person is, will be up to me.

[erogenousmind]

Pavlovian

You have to be a little careful when you come here, even if you think you know what you are getting into. You know how my words can find their way deep into your mind. You know how suggestible you can become. How that altered state allows you explore pleasure you didn't know you could feel otherwise. You know, deep down, you are being trained. Conditioned. Brainwashed...

But your mind is always learning patterns. It remembers how certain things feel and it learns to associate stimuli. We are often surprised just how much like Pavlov's dogs we can become. You hear the bell and your mouth starts to water. Metaphorically at least.

And what stimuli have you started to link in your mind?