#I will say that I find the idea that this might be PR

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Thoughts on the Taylor collab with Ice Spice? In February Matty mockingly called ice spice an inuit spice girl and a chubby Chinese lady. The podcast he said this on was deemed offensive and was deleted and at a concert he apologized by saying "im kind of a bit sorry if I've offended you." A couple of months later Matty and Taylor went public and she collabed with ice spice. It's just a coincidence it's with her? It was done as a further apology and to not look like a racist person by being associated with Matty? Because some are not buying this as anything but performative pr. And the same people who are side eying Taylor are saying they're glad ice spice is cashing in on the white guilt. But this just seems like pandering if Taylor did this collab to make herself look good. And I honestly still havn't decided if they're an actual couple or pr. So if they are, they were probably together for a while, he said what he said about ice spice and Taylor was like oh shit, I better collab with her quickly before our relationship goes public. Obviously i'm just making up stories here to fill in the gaps of what we do know but I'm trying to understand what's really going on here and I wanted your opinion.

There's a lot here that reflects what I find tedious about the way Matty Healy and Taylor Swift are being discussed at the moment. In addition, trying to be clear about what happened is important to me, so it really bothers me that you're stating something as fact that is straight up not true in your second sentance.

But you asked me for my opinion - so I'm going to try and explore what I do find interesting. I think it's useful to start with what we don't know - we don't know when the collaboration was conceived and we don't know the timeline of Taylor's relationship with Matty Healy.

We can make guesses about both those things. There's photos from the studio that people can place. There are people who knows things about how long it takes to make CDs. People who pay more attention to Taylor and Ice Spice may be able to figure out when there were spaces for them to film. People who know more than me about CGI can guess how long these shots would have taken (one thing to take into account is that if Ice Spice was added at the last minute then her shots might have been filmed later). We can't know for sure about the timeline of the video, but it would be possible to put together some guesses with reasonable minimums and then figure out how that compares to the options for Taylor's relationship with Matty Healy.

But even if we did know the timeline and what was possible - that wouldn't give us any answers about motivations - we rarely know people's motivations. We can make them up - but when we do that's a choice we make. Keep making stories to fill the gaps with what we know if we want anon - but I think it's also useful to develop an understanding that they're just stories and they don't matter.

It is after all, just a remix, and I think it's very easy to put far too much weight on it. I will again link to the Gary Younge article that explains what's a stake if we treat racism as a series of bloopers rather than a system of power.

[vroomvroomwee]

Crowley is Lucifer

(Ok I know some of you don't believe this theory but I highly suggest you give this a quick read anyway. I tried to make it short and easy and I'll be going chronologically, from s1 all through s2)

- First, let's get this out of the way, Lucifer and Satan aren't neccesarilly the same person. Even in the show the devil that appeared in s1 has only ever been reffered to as Satan, not even once as Lucifer.

- In the bible Lucifer was the one to tempt Eve with the apple, and who do we know that does that in the show. Crowley is literally THE snake from Eden.

- An obvious one perhaps, but the red hair is also a giveaway

- In the bible Jesus was tempted by the devil for 30 days, in the show Crowley says "I showed him all the kingdoms of the world", so that's another role Lucifer has that Crowley had in the show

- It's well known (even mentioned in the Sandman) that Lucifer was the most beautiful of all angels, and our demon is played by no other than David Tennant

Now on to season 2 because there's a LOT to unpack here

- He litterally started the engine of the universe which was one of Lucifers roles

- He's the first to say "let there be light", which is pretty fucking huge since that is Gods line

- "I worked closely with upstairs on it" even in the first scene they're telling us Crowley is an angel of very very high rank

- He fell for asking questions, which is litterally what Lucifer fell for, for questioning God. This in and of itself should be a pretty big indicator. "I only ever asked questions"

- Shax: "a miracle of enourmous power only the mightiest of archangels can perform"

Crowley: "How do you know I didn't do it"

And Shax just... doesn't counter that. She looks even skeptical, as if it COULD be a possibility, unlike Uriel who says to Aziraphale don't excpect us to believe you did it. Shax litterally doesn't shut the option down which confirms Crowley has the power not only of an archangel but of the mightiest kind

- In the bookshop with Gabriel/Jim he says "I don't remember. It [gravity] seemed like a good idea when we were all talking about it"

- "You're welcome to come in, you might even spot an archangel" don't tell me this was Crowley just egging Shax on and not being sneaky

- The fact that he could sense the demons coming. "Somethings wrong""It's coming in waves", when Aziraphale couldn't. It could be a demon thing but we saw Sandalphon, an archangel of lower rank, in the first season mention "something smells evil" so obviously angels can sense demons too, they just have to be powerful enough. And keep in mind Sandalphon was already in the book shop for quite some time, Crowley sensed them even before they had arrived (he also sensed the hell hound who was some fucking miles away)

- The.fucking.folder. "You have to be a throne or dominion above" and this dude opens these clasified documents like it's nothing. If this isn't an indicator of his high position as an angel I don't know what is.

- He's worked with Saraqael, another very high ranking angel

- "I'm the only first order archangel in the room"... and the camera imediately pans to Crowley, and for anyone who's read the book and watched the show you know that rarely anything is coincidental

- When the Metatron says they can't lose another prince of heaven. This... this fucking line. So it's relatively well known that Gabriel and Lucifer are brothers, and if Gabriel is one of the princes of heaven I wonder who the other one could be. "Two princes of heaven". And the Metatrons words were very careful, he doesn't say lost as in heaven can't find him, he says it in the context that they won't be sending Gabriel to hell since they won't lose another prince to downstairs

- In the bookshop when no one can identify the Metatron he turns to Crowley who imediately recognises him. Now you have this dude, who's literally on top of the angel hierarchy and is responsible for running heaven and the connection to God themself, surrounded by archangels and a principality you spoke to face to face with just a few years ago and... none of them can tell who you are, the only one who does is the literal demon. That tells us that Crowley has not only seen him in this form, but has probably worked with the Metaron himself personally. "Always asking damn fool questions", 10 million angels and he remembers what this one particular angel was like 6000 years ago

- Crowley is also very reluctant to reveal his identity as an angel. Now if he were just an ordinary angel of no real significance he wouldn't have a problem revealing his name, but... if his name was one that's the literal representation of all evil in this world, then it is understandable he keeps it a secret, in fear he might scare Aziraphale away

- And I wanted to leave the best for last. So you remember in the book when Crowley has to sign his name to start Armaggedon, and Hastur tells him "no, your real name" after which he reluctantly writes it. Now in the book we never see him write anything, but in the show we see him write a sygil, something that looks very mich like an L. An L... A FUCKING L. And now I wonder how this theory didn't come up sooner.

(Also he can fucking stop time, like dafuq)

Edit:

- "Oh looky here it's Lucifer and the guys" we all thought he was talking about someone else, he's just refferencing things other angels have said about HIM. FUCK

- I keep seing people saying Crowleys memories were wiped because he couldn't remember Saraqael and Furfur. But I think people forget, demons lie. He's lying to make them think he's not that angel they worked with, that he's not Lucifer. (In season 1 we hear him a few times refferencing his life as an angel, so he does remember most of it)

- Also saying if the Raphael theory were true then as showrunners they would have mentioned him somewhere for those not that familiar with the bible (or don't read much fanfiction). The refferences for Crowleys past are so so vague that it would be too sudden and confusing if he were Raphael. But there is one name that everyone is familiar with, no matter who you are how old you are or where you're from, a name that needs no introduction.

Edit 2:

- Back to him being the most beautiful angel, I don't think it was ever quite explained how every single demon when they're in hell looks... awful, but Crowley doesn't. Beelzebub has the spores all over their face, Hastur the maggots and the sh-, Dagon the scales etc. But Crowley doesn't, not even when he's in hell, he's always just so, well, pretty.

- I saw a few people asking about how Lucifer started the rebellion and Crowley wouldn't do that. I think it's the same Crowley who wouldn't get stuck in traffic after creating the M25, or the same Crowley that wanted to call Aziraphale after bringing down the entire London network, "you told them you invented the spanish inquisition, and started the second world war""so the humans beat me to it that's not my fault", "so all this is your demonic work?""no, the humans thought it up themselves nothing to do with me"

- Also I think Satan's in charge of hell not Crowley the same way the Metatron's in charge of heaven and not Gabriel (and who can very easily demote angels if he so wishes)

Edit 3:

- like some of you pointed out Lucifer is also known/means Light-bringer. And Crowley was the first to say "let there be light."

- The file he opens with Muriel is Gabriels file, a class A archangel, so if he knows the password to that it means that either he's on the same level as Gabriel, or above him.

[beauty-funny-trippy]

Reasons why we know there's something wrong with Grandpa:

• believes immigrants are eating their neighbors pets because he heard someone say it on TV (without any evidence) • thinks injecting disinfectant into our veins might be a good idea. (It's definitely not, don't try it.) • claims America's F35 fighter jet is completely invisible, even if you're right next to it (like Wonder Woman's plane)

• praises white supremacists and KKK members who were chanting antisemitic hate speech, calling them "very fine people" • focuses on imaginary issues like preventing children from changing gender while at school, but ignores real problems like school shootings • thought it was a good idea to give away our desperately needed Covid test machines to our adversary ("Grandpa, what have you done?" — he can't be left alone for a minute) • decided to believe Putin's lies, but dismiss findings from America's intelligence agencies • claims America had airplanes during the Revolutionary War

• believes in the Nazi ideology that immigrants are "poisoning the blood of our country," and says some migrants are actually subhuman "animals" • insisted that the U.S. would have fewer coronavirus cases if it conducted less testing (yes, a U.S. president in charge of controlling the crisis, actually said something this inept, repeatedly) • due to his incompetence and lies during the Covid crisis, the U.S. had one of the highest rates of Covid deaths in the world • thinks windmills cause cancer and kill whales • speaks endlessly about his concerns re: dying by electrocution from a boat battery or being eaten by a shark

• thinks he's above the law and, as president, should be able to commit as many crimes as he wants • is a billionaire who whines about how badly he's been treated, then he's chauffeured to his private jet • likes to discuss Arnold Palmer's penis • after NINE years of repeatedly promising to unveil his Healthcare Plan "very soon," he admits he still has no real plan —only "concepts of a plan" • has a bizarre attraction to the fictional cannibal and serial killer, Hannibal Lector (why? no one knows —and everyone's afraid to ask)

• advocates dangerous plots, like using the military against Americans who disagree with him, or using the DOJ to arrest them, or just telling people to "beat the crap out of them" and he'll pay their legal fees • thinks having a national day of violence is a good idea (we should never have let Grandpa watch "The Purge") • wants to be the "law and order president," yet this 34 time convicted felon incites people to riot and to commit criminal acts of violence • unable to take the loss of an election like a man, he had a temper tantrum like a toddler, that culminated in a treasonous insurrection

⠀This guy is so delusional, he claims he's a genius because he often speaks incoherently in something he calls "the Weave." Here are two examples: • "How disgusted were all when we see all of us are when we see three days ago when we viewed their parade." Asheboro, NC, 8/21/24 • When asked, "What specific legislation will you commit to, to make child care affordable?" He responded, “Well, I would do that, and we’re sitting down, you know; I was, somebody, we had Senator Marco Rubio and my daughter, Ivanka, who was so impactful on that issue. ...But I think when you talk about the kind of numbers that I’m talking about that because the childcare is childcare, couldn’t, you know, there’s something you have to have it, in this country you have to have it.” New York, NY, 9/5/24 ⠀If this was anybody else's Grandpa, the family would be having discussions about who's going to go with Grandpa to the doctor to find out what's wrong with him, and who's going to be in charge of finding him a nice convalescent home to live in. ⠀My suggestion is that it might be a good idea to elect a president who has no cognitive impairment and can tell the difference between reality and delusions. Personally, I think that's a rather important quality in a president.

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Afterlife, But It's A Bar

[discontinued, feel free to add on]

It was weird. Not wrong, alarming or dangerous type of weird. Not good or comforting either.

Just plain weird.

It all started a few days ago, on Wednesday, to be exact. On a rare occasion, Jason was patrolling outside of his territory ("cover for me, I have a date" my ass, Replacement), and he spotted something out of place. A neon green, almost toxic colored sign that read "Afterlife".

Honestly, who names a place like that? But judging by the placement and design, it was a bar, and Jason could almost appreciate the irony. Maybe it had a slogan along the lines of "our drinks will send you beyond the lines of life and death" or something. But at the same time, it could be interpreted as "alcohol can and will be the death of you," which, technically, is not the best PR campaign for a bar.

Jason decided to visit the place anyway. He was curious about the implied death joke, sue him.

Of course, he didn't visit immediately. He was still on patrol, and he just heard the sound of gunshots to the west. Not to say that the place was quiet.

(Oddly quiet for a bar in Gotham, now that he thinks about it)

Anyway, the next day, he went there not as Red Hood but as Jason Todd, an ordinary civilian who decided to grab a beer in the evening. Only to not find the place.

He couldn't have just miss it - he remembered the street, he knew the building, he was absolutely fucking sure where the "Afterlife" should have been. He searched the whole block nonetheless, and then proceeded to check the whole area, but to no avail.

Damn, it seems like he can't get to the afterlife both literally and- the other literally. Yeah, he might be having too much fun with the oddly chosen name for the nonexistent bar.

It didn't exist on the maps and internet either. At this point, Jason was contemplating the idea of it being a hallucination or a dream. He even checked the recording on his helmet from Wednesday night, but the whole time he was in the area, the video was filled with interference and static.

Weird. Slightly suspicious, but Red Robin, who's been patrolling the same area for weeks before him, never reported any interferences, so it probably had something to do with his helmet and not the area in general.

On Thursday night, he purposefully went there right after patrol. And the nonexistent bar suddenly existed again! The same neon green sign, the same quiet street around it.

Seriously, what is this mysterious fuckery?

Now, if he was a Bat, he would have reported this to others and investigated, lurked around in shadows, and approached with caution. If he was a Robin, he would have still reported and then straight up marched in there and saw how it goes.

Alas, he was Red Hood, so he decided to watch for the bar guests and see just who the hell goes in and out of the place.

And there was the next weird thing.

No one was going in or out. Jason sat there for a whole hour, and not even one person entered or left the building. Despite the muffled sounds of music, voices and laughter coming from the place.

The final kicker was the fact that after some careful questioning and dropping hints, Jason found out that no one except him ever saw the "Afterlife"'s sign. No one's even heard of it, both the Batclan and the Gothamites.

The fuck?

So he did the next logical thing. He brought the smartest member of the Bats with him. Tim owed him anyway. Might as well use it now instead of later.

Friday night proved two things: one, Tim was still his favorite to work with out of all the bats and birds, not questioning anything as to why Jason is asking him to check out a bar, and two, Jason just might be going insane.

Tim couldn't see the "Afterlife" even when Jason pointed at the sign from not further than ten feet. The irony of the stipid name was not even amusing anymore.

Tim didn't ask any questions after this experiment, and Jason didn't want to admit that he is losing the grip of reality, so they ended up simply parting their ways after. Can the Pits cause brain damage? More damage than there was in the first place, that is.

Now that he thinks about it, the color of the sign is really similar to the Lazarus waters. He should have noticed it sooner, but in his defense, who would look at the bubbling pool of toxic waters and think, "Oh, that would make a dope neon sign"? Apparently, the owner of the "Afterlife".

The color might be just a coincidence.

...no, in the world he lives in, coincidences like this just don't happen. Besides, Jason doesn't believe in shit like fate or destiny.

So, here he is, on Saturday night, standing in front of the door to the Afterlife. It would have been funny if it wasn't so weird. What's even more weird is that the closer he gets to the door, the less nervous he feels, like the place is radiating some calming aura. Wait, no, scratch that, Jason is so not calling it a calming aura for God's sake. That sounds just like those homemade witches with their crystals, tarot readings, and whatnot.

He's going to call it... tranquilizer vibes. Yeah, that's better.

He takes a deep breath, getting ready to see whatever it is on the other side, pushes the door open, and walks into the bar.

...

Whatever he's been expecting to see, it's not this.

[azulpitlane]

vicious I ln4

pairing: lando norris x reader, a little of charles leclerc x reader🫣 summary: lando's fans always attack you yet he does nothing to defend you, inspired by vicious by sabrina carpenter notes: if youre the anon that requested this sorry it took so long lol! but you were so sweet ty masterlist, part two

yourusername

liked by maxfewtrell, charles_leclerc and 1,829,392 others

yourusername lil getaway

view all comments

user wait is she dating lando??

user there's been rumors of them dating for months but neither of them have confirmed user hopefully not lol

user i had no idea she went on this trip

user yeah cause lando never posts her or even likes her posts lmfaoaofda

user am i the only one that finds her annoying...

user nooo everyone else does lol shes always leeching off lando

yourbff ur perfect babe liked by yourusername

user pls dont let this be a hard launch🧎‍♀️lando get UP

user of course she has to post lando🤣she needs him for the likes

maxfewtrell spent more time on the ground than actually skiing

yourusername SHHHH it was my first time

user why are all these comments about lando?? im only looking at her😍

f1gossip

302,837 likes

f1gossip Y/n Y/l/n spotted in Bali celebrating New Years at Martin Garrix's show, possibly with Lando Norris. The two have sparked dating rumors for a few months now but no confirmation has been made from either of them.

view all comments

user we might have to start accepting that theyre dating☹️

user I REFUSE

user wait im new to the fandom, whys everyone hating on y/n i love her music...

user shes always posting lando for attention and he clearly has no interest in her, he doesnt even like her posts user plus his ex >>>>>>> y/n

user she doesnt deserve him, he needs someone lowkey and y/n is such an attention whore

user not surprised shes there, always leeching on him

user right like girl give him space, he aint yours

user im a y/n defender idgaf. everyone in these comments are just jealous liked by yourbff

user yikes... user defending someone who needs a man to stay relevant lol ok

user i miss luisinha😭

user im convinced theyre still dating and shes using lando for pr

y/n hey lan, i safely made it back to the hotel

lando 👍

y/n i still dont understand why you wanted me to leave early though, its not even midnight :(

lando y/n, we talked about this. there was lots of paparazzi there and if they saw us together on midnight they would think we're dating

y/n we ARE dating... why are you acting like we arent?

lando yk what i meant im just trying to protect you from the craziness that comes from dating me baby

y/n im already getting hate, hows hiding me any different?

lando lets just not do this tn. yk how much worse its gonna get it if we confirm anything listen i love you, isnt that enough?

y/n yeah, ily too

lando ill see you later tn❤️

lando baby where are you? come on it was a drunk mistake, yk i only love you it was just martins friend, you know her

y/n oh the girl you told me not to worry about?

lando it didnt mean anything why are you acting like this?

y/n because you fucking cheated. im leaving and im moving out of the apartment

lando please dont, im sorry baby i love you

y/n you say you love me but you can never prove it you hid me away for a whole year, was it so you could hook up with other girls?

lando of course not wth but since there's clearly no trust in this relationship maybe we should end it i wish you the best y/n read

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pietrapilao and 3,295,203 others

yourusername new year same me, wasnt ever the problem

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yourbff YES WIFEY liked by yourusername

user she unfollowed lando omg.

user WAR IS OVERRRR

pietrapilao out of sight out of mind🧘‍♀️ liked by yourusername

user is this about lando omg...

luisinhaoliveira99 😍😍 liked by yourusername

user ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??? user WHEN DID THEY MEET??? user I NEED THE TEA RNNNNNN

charles_leclerc 🖤

user OH?

user what is going on in these comments omg??

user shes finally realized lando will never date a girl like her

user hahaha fr she finally deleted all her posts with him user probably gonna go for piastri now🤣

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 3,294,234 others

yourusername took some time off music but dont worry, im back and ready to prove i dont need anybody to stay successful

vicious is out now💌

view all comments

user OH NOWWW LANDO LIKES HER POST

yourbff sooo back baby

user this has to be about lando...

user the lyrics are heartbreaking omg

user you all owe her a big apology for the way you treated her

charles_leclerc you look good in red this comment has been deleted

charles_leclerc love it! this comment has been deleted

charles_leclerc congrats on the new song!!

taylorswift 💌❤️

user yall better not start switching up!! if you were hating on her, stay away

user are we just going to ignore charles' deleted comments??

user bro was NERVOUS

user we dont know if this is about lando!! they were just friends

user you toxic lando fans need to stay away🙄 she was never seen with anyone else this past year so its clearly about him. hes not some saint you paint him out to be user exactly!! you guys are acting like you know him

user her shirt saying loyal��thats gotta be a diss

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, martingarrix and 630,402 others

landonorris pretty vicious life im living rn

view all comments

user the caption??? the hard launch??? oh thats not-

maxfewtrell bro. no.

user his own best friend doesnt approve of his behavior😬

user this winter break drama is something else

user lando i cant keep defending you. why would you caption it this.

user IS THAT NEW YEARS KISS GIRL ON THE THIRD SLIDE???

user yess i found her @ shes martin garrix's friend and she was at that party

user anyone else notice luisa unfollowed him??

user she chose her side HAAHAH user pretty ironic cause so many fans were comparing y/n to her and now theyre friends🤣

user whys everyone mad?? its his private life why do you guys care

user oh so now you guys are giving him privacy?? but when he was rumored to be with y/n you were hating...the hypocrisy

yourbff alexa play obsessed by mariah carey🥱

user OOP user the girls are fightingggg

user not even a y/n fan but this was a bit unnecessary...

user "you dont feel remorse, you dont feel the effects" 🫠

f1gossip

240,520 likes

f1gossip Despite hard launching their relationship just one week ago, Lando's new girlfriend has been spotted getting cozy with a different guy! The leaked pictures have already caused for her to go private on all social medias😬

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user karma is A GOD

user i know y/n is having a good day today

user omfg poor lando :(

user womp womp

user i bet he is regretting his decisions rn😭

user y/n nation won today, ln4 nation taking L after L

user we cant catch a break😩

user WHAT IS GOING ON WITH LANDO RN

user craziest winter break yet jeez

Instagram Messages

charles_leclerc hey y/n! i know we havent spoken much but ive seen how lando treated you the few times you were at races and i apologize for never speaking on it i just wanted to tell you you're a great person and your music is so amazing if you ever need anything please just shoot me a text!

landonorris y/n you blocked my number? im sorry about everything baby can we please just talk?

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell and 4,204,214 others

yourusername im soooo sorry for your loss😊

my new single feather is out now!! special thanks to @charles_leclerc for helping me out in the music video, had so much making it <3

view all comments

user this mv was so hot omg

user I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS BUT I LOVE

user i know a certain someone is FUMING

luisinhaoliveira99 on repeat already!!

yourusername 💋💋 user im convinced luisa reached out after she saw all the comparisons with her and y/n and they became besties user wait that makes so much sense

user f1 twitter is going insane rn

user Y/N NATION KEEPS WINNING

pietra.pilao AHH youre so talented bby liked by yourusername

charles_leclerc had the best time on set with you❤️

yourusername ❤️ user i ship it........

user i want them both

user ofc now shes going for another driver🙄

user oh you guys are OBSESSED with her, get a job user y/n still has them mad LOL

user l**** would never agree to anything like this

user im literally never getting over this, ive watched it 5 times in a row already

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, maxfewtrell and 940,240 others

landonorris a toast to my real friends

view all comments

user if this is a charles sneak diss i will cry

user we got carlando content....but at what price

user oh he definitely got blocked by y/n😭

user dw we're on your side lando

user who is we?

user just take the L and move on bro

user the way 2 songs got everyone to switch up on lando HAHA

user not just that but his shady posts too

charles_leclerc posted a story

Replies

user the girls are OFFICIALLY fighting oh gosh

user next season is going to be interesting...

user my roman empire

user IS THIS A HARD LAUNCH???

user what is happening.

user PARENTS

[itsv3n0r1s]

WHEN I CATCH YOU, max verstappen

pairing, max verstappen x fem! gasly! reader

summary, in which max starts the 2024 season with a bang...

note, i see the mistakes but i'm honestly too lazy to fix them :(

faceclaim, camila morrone

masterlist┊༉┊the winner's circle masterlist ┊༉┊taglist

instagram, ༉‧₊˚.

forthegirlsf1news

liked by maxverstappen1, username, and 843,652 others

forthegirlsf1news 3 time world champion max verstappen seen kissing mystery girl in monaco ahead of the 2024 season, what do you guys think is this a new wag or a possible fling?

view all 6,732 comments

username not him liking

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danielricciardo damn, somebody took my bitch

username dannyyyyyyy

username she ain't me tho

yngasly

liked by danielricciardo, username, and 475,823 others

yngasly life lately😊💐

view all 8,462 comments

username HELLO?!?!

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francisca.cgomes ynnnnnnn

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yngasly 😶 username don't let me catch him outside cause i don't play bout you yngasly 😦

pierregasly ?

yngasly ? pierregasly something you need to tell me yngasly no. charles_leclerc she lying landonorris get her ass

username hairy, brown hair, 1.81 m and submissive. might be crazy what about to say but.....

username let's stop you right there, back to bed grandma🙂 username submissive is crazy

yngasly posted 16 hours ago

twitter, ༉‧₊˚.

messages, ༉‧₊˚.

instagram, ༉‧₊˚.

yngasly

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yngasly my race winner, i'm so happy for you baby even though it's not how I wanted everyone to find out but that my fault for not being able to keep my hands to my self😓💙

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username not her exposing the rest of them too

username she so messy

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maxverstappen1 i love you

yngasly i love you more pookie maxverstappen1 😒

username they're so cute

landonorris posting that photo of us is dirty work

danielricciardo pierregasly i had no idea i'm just as shocked as you

landonorris he took those photos pierregasly

pierregasly WTF!?!!

pierregasly HELLO???!!

pierregasly ANSWER YOUR PHONE

pierregasly I KNOW YOU SEE ME

pierregasly yn i'm sorry please answer the phone

pierregasly maxverstappen1 COME ANSWER THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW

pierregasly maxverstappen1 i'm sorry, i'm not mad just come open the door

pierregasly I CAN HERE YOU GUYS, I KNOW YOUR'RE THERE

username it's them ignoring pierre's comments for me🤣

pierregasly landnorris IS THAT YOU, COME OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW

landonorris my mom said not to talk to strangers pierregasly when i rip your esophagus out you won't be doing much talking landonorris 😦 yngasly pierregasly don't threaten my child😒

username somebody call the nurse pierre is going crazy😭

username it's them hiding in max and yn room for me

username ik their pr team somewhere stressing rn

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[writingsbytee]

HE'S NOT YOU - AARON PIERRE X BLACK FEM (AFAB) READER

WARNINGS: 18+; minors don’t interact 

PAIRING: Aaron x Lauren, “Lo” (reader)

SUMMARY: You and Aaron are roommates and he gets jealous when you get hit on by a client. It switches POV’s throughout, so if that’s something you don’t enjoy, this might not be the one for you. 

TROPES: friends to lovers; mutual pining; soft-dom; use of pet names; mostly a lot of dialogue and fluff

WORD COUNT: 3,611

A/N: Ok y’all created a monster! I’ve been hooked reading what everyone’s been writing about Aaron. You guys are so creative! I’m a little sensitive about my writing because I’m just getting into it but I do accept constructive criticism/feedback. Happy reading! Muah <3 p.s. this isn’t proofread.

*Please do not plagiarize, repost, or steal my work. This doesn’t count for re-blogs!*

“Lauren?!” Aaron shouts entering your shared condo. He was so excited, Aaron got the call not too long ago that he’d just landed a major project. It's probably the biggest one he’s ever done so far. On his way home to share the good news, he picked up your favorite Indian takeout to celebrate.

Eyes frantically searching the common area, Aaron moved his search deeper into your home. ‘Where is she?’ he thought to himself. Finally, making it to your bedroom door he knocked twice. When he got no response after about 30 seconds he tried twisting the doorknob—the gentle click alerting him that the door was unlocked.  Aaron peeked his head in the door, swiveling from left to right looking for you. 

He could hear the shower now, and your gentle humming some song that you’ve been singing around your home for days. Aaron let out a gentle sigh before retreating out the door. That is before something on your bed caught his eye. Not thinking, Aaron pushed your door open and barged into your room. The black lingerie set with matching garter laid flat on your bed as if it took you all day to find the perfect set. 

Aaron was at war with his emotions. On one hand, he was turned on. The idea of his sweet, innocent Lauren on her knees waiting for him wearing this was almost too much to think about. On the other hand, he was pissed. Who was she wearing this for? Where is she going? Aaron reached out to touch the material. The lace was soft and delicate in his hands like it had been well taken care of.  How was he supposed to even look at you knowing you had this on under your clothes?

Aaron’s attention turned back to your bathroom door as he heard the water shut off. Quickly exiting your room he made it back to the kitchen to start unpacking the dinner he bought for you both. It was getting harder and harder for him to hide his true feelings about you. You both had met right out of college, completely on a whim. Aaron was looking for a roommate and posted an ad online. When you replied, you had no idea what’d be in store for you.

“Aaron you’re home!” You shouted as you made your way into the kitchen. You looked fucking phenomenal in your all-black ensemble. Aaron couldn’t take his eyes off you, figure accentuated in your slacks and button-up. Hair styled impeccably in a messy but neat low bun. Looking like a boss bitch in your power suit had Aaron a bit turned on.

“Don’t tell me you’re meeting a client,” Aaron groaned. He should’ve known that after seeing what you had laid out in the bed. You’re a PR agent for a few celebrities and big-wig politicians but you’d been going back and forth recently with some cocky CEO asshole. He’s been giving you the run-around, pitting you and another agent against each other. When you finally drew your line and decided that the money wasn’t worth it, your client had his team calling you nonstop. 

“Just a quick dinner. Put your shoes on and come with me. I’ll pay for all your drinks,” you persuade batting your eyelashes at him.  How could he say no to you when you looked at him like that?

“Fine but we’re taking my car,” Aaron says. You finally take notice of the dining room. Table set with candles and low lighting. 

“Wait, what’s going on?” you ask as you spin around to look at your roommate.

Aaron takes on a sheepish expression, “I had some good news, and I wanted to celebrate with my best girl.”

Your heart warms at the boyish expression on Aaron’s face. Then you realize what he must be celebrating. 

“Wait! You got the part didn’t you!?”, your heart rate accelerates as your excitement gets the best of you. 

“I got the call today,” Aaron grins, all 32 of those perfect teeth on display. You let out a squeal before launching yourself into his arms. 

You begin to smother his face in kisses. 

“I’m so proud of you! You worked so hard for this opportunity Aaron. This was meant to be! I knew you had it in the bag! You have to come out with me now! We’re going to ‘the Flamingo Room’, it just opened.”

Aaron feels his face warm, “Nah, I don’t want to get in the way. You’re going there for work, not to party”

You roll your eyes, “I’m not taking no for an answer Aaron. If I have to drag your big ass out of here myself you’re coming with me. This meeting should be no longer than an hour, just finalizing a few details in my contract. Please come, I want to celebrate you.”

Aaron looks down at you, a small smirk forming, “How long do I have to freshen up?”

A small squeak leaves your lips as you run towards his room, “Forty-five minutes! Go shower, I’m picking out your outfit!”

A small chuckle leaves Aaron’s lips as he watches you dash down the hall. Tonight is the night, he’d decided. He would finally tell you how he felt about you. You were the first person he wanted to tell his good news to. The first thing on his mind when he woke up and the last thing before bed. How could he not fall in love with you? You’re beautiful, successful, a comedic genius, had a body to die for.  He knows you’d caught him staring at that round plump ass more times than he could count.

Aaron had his hand on your lower back as he led you two into the lounge. 

“If it wasn’t obvious, you look beautiful princess,” Aaron said looking down at you. Your cheeks warmed a shy smile forming on your lips. Doesn’t he know that he can’t say these things to you? You’d been hopelessly in love with your roommate for almost as long as you two had been living together. Did he know that? Obviously not.

“Thanks, big guy,” you say, kissing his cheek and wiping the excess lipgloss off. Aaron loved it when you doted on him like that. He didn’t want you to wipe the gloss off his cheek, he wanted to wear it like a badge of honor.

You flag the bartender giving her your card to start a tab.  “Anything that big guy wants just put it on my tab, thanks gorgeous,” you said winking at the bartender. Not that she noticed, she was too busy staring at Aaron. Not that you can blame her he looks fucking delicious in his all-black ensemble, the semi-sheer button-up being the star of the show. You could see your client waving at you from across the room. Putting a finger up to signal ‘one minute’ you turn to Aaron.

“Ok, I shouldn’t be too long. He’s only getting an hour and fifteen minutes, and then I’m all yours.”

“Mm I like the sound of that, hurry back,” Aaron said smirking over the rim of his glass, which got to him surprisingly fast.

You feel your cheeks warm, a dreamy sigh leaving your lips before muttering a goodbye and heading to your client. You had to get your head on straight, mind turning to mush whenever Aaron was around. In your mind, you decided that you were finally going to tell him how you felt about him. You wanted him like you’d never wanted a man before. Not wanting to disrupt the bond you two already had, but something had to give. 

“Lauren, can you hear me?” Your client said. 

Snapping back to reality you plastered a fake smile. 

“Yes Charlie, I’m listening. Just enjoying the view,” you say glancing toward Aaron again. He looked so fucking sexy leaning against the bar. With his 6’3 frame and impressive build he towers over most people. 

“So have you read over the file I gave you?” you ask taking a sip of the red wine he’d ordered. It was strong and bitter, which wasn’t your taste, but you were being polite. 

“Yeah, everything seems in order. Legal finally agrees with all the changes you’ve proposed. I have it ready to sign”, Charlie says. 

“Great!”, You beam. You could sign and get back to Aaron. You wanted to let loose and have fun, you’d been working nonstop with finalizing your contract and a break is within your reach. After signing, you slid the contract back over to Charlie. You glance back in Aaron’s direction, a small frown forming on your lips as you see the bartender flirting with him. A small huff leaves your lips as you re-focus on your client. 

“So we’ll be spending a lot of time together? You better get used to seeing this ugly mug” Charlie asks with a smirk on his face. Charlie was fine, the best way to describe him would be a Paul Walker doppelgänger. He’s the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and has recently had to have a change in PR firms due to a conflict of interest. 

“Me or someone else from my team at the firm,” you say with an awkward smile. Charlie’s fine that’s not the issue, the issue is standing across the lounge looking like Scar personified. Aaron shoots you a small smirk before mouthing ‘Hurry up!’. You bite your lip to contain your grin, you were so far gone for this man. 

“I’d prefer you if I’m being honest, not too often my PR agent is so easy on the eyes,” Charlie smirks, topping off your glass. 

“Oh Charlie ever the charmer,” you squeeze out a fake laugh. Ok, it was time to end this meeting now.

“Well, if you have no other questions or concerns I have a personal obligation I need to get to”, you say rising slowly. Charlie shoots out of his chair coming to your side to pull the remainder of your chair out. 

“Of course! My driver’s right outside. Walk me out?” He asked offering you his arm. You finish your drink before grabbing your purse and his arm. Leading you two outside. You sneak a glance in Aaron’s direction to see him with an annoyed frown on his face. Charlie guides you the rest of the way out of the club, you two approaching a blacked-out suburban. You spot Charlie’s driver get out to open his door. He stops short turning towards you.

“I look forward to working more closely with you,” Charlie said grabbing my hand. He brought it up to his lips, placing a kiss there. 

You open your mouth to reply but before you can an arm snakes around your waist. 

“Hey, baby you almost finished?” Aaron's voice takes you by surprise as his hand spreads across your hip. 

Your eyes widened as you looked up at your usually gentle giant.

“Just about. Aaron this is my new client Charlie. Charlie this is Aaron, my boyfriend”, the lie slips so easily from your lips. It feels natural. 

“Oh hey man, nice to meet you. I’m a big fan,” Charlie says reaching his hand towards Aaron. They shake and an awkward silence settles among you all. 

“Well, I won’t keep you any longer than I have to. You guys have a good night. Nice to meet you Aaron,” Charlie has a slightly frightened look on his face as he retreats toward his car. We watch him get in and drive away before you spin in Aaron’s arm, an accusing smirk on your face.

“You couldn’t wait five more minutes?” you asked chuckling slightly.

“Nah, motherfucker was getting too handsy. He needed to know his place.”

You were barely paying attention to what he was saying. Aaron’s chest is puffed out, his face in that beautiful scowl you love, and his voice has dropped a pitch. Oh god, he’s hot when he’s being all possessive. 

“What’s the matter? You jealous big guy?”, you ask looking up at him.

Aaron looks down at you, something flashes in his eyes.

“You know what? Yeah, I was getting pretty pissed off at watching him make googly eyes at you and you laugh at all his jokes. I don’t want to pretend that I don’t have feelings for you anymore. You can’t deny our chemistry. When I got the call today, you were the first person I thought of calling. I’m sorry if I jumped in and messed up the end of your deal, I was just tired of seeing him touch you,” Aaron exhales his face softening. 

“I wish you’d told me this sooner. We could’ve been dating by now! I never wanted Charlie Aaron, he’s not you” You laughed launching yourself into his arms. 

“So I take it you feel the same way?”, he’s smirking down at you, gaze lingering on your lips.

“You bet your sweet ass I do. Surprised I didn’t give myself away,” you say rolling your eyes playfully. 

“ I should’ve said something to you sooner, you’re right. I just would rather have you as my friend than nothing at all. Come on let’s go inside, we still need to celebrate”, Aaron places a kiss on the corner of your lips before grabbing your hand and leading you back inside. 

You were on cloud nine. That all happened so quickly that it seemed too good to be true. You forgot who you were dealing with, Aaron is so emotionally intelligent and articulate with his thoughts. Effective communication was such a turn-on for you. You allowed Aaron to lead you inside, turning your brain off.

You loved the fact that Aaron’s a real man, no coaching, no faking, just a real man. He knows how to communicate, he’s thoughtful, caring, and sweet. He never lets you walk on the same side as traffic. Always seem to know what you need before you know it yourself. He’s always been in-tune with you and your emotions and vice versa. 

Aaron’s heart rate hadn’t slowed down yet. He was scared shitless that you were going to reject him. When he saw the way your eyes lit up when he made his confession he didn’t know why he was so scared in the first place. He’s in love with you. Is he going to tell you that now? No, probably not, soon though. Now he’s just going to enjoy the night and hopefully finish it with his face in between your thighs.

You wanted Aaron. Your back pressed against his front as you two danced. Aaron’s hand snaked around your waist pulling you closer, the action making your tummy flutter. 

You spun in his arms taking in the tall drink of water in your arms. “You look so fucking sexy in your outfit. I did a good job”

Aaron tilts his head back, a bark of laughter leaving his lips. “Thank you, princess. I love being dressed by you.”

Your cheeks warmed and a soft smile formed on your face.

“Yeah? you like it when I call you that don’t you baby?” Aaron asks his hand reaching up to caress your cheek. Your mind goes blank, did he just..

“Answer Daddy when he asks you a question princess,” Aaron says his voice taking on that low rattle that does shameful things to your imagination. You look up at him, this Aaron looks completely different from the Aaron you arrived with. Pupils blown wide, eyes the color of a foggy Oregon forest, and his lips partially upturned into a devious smirk. This man looks like sex.

You nod slowly, “Yes Daddy,” you whisper. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the atmosphere in the club but you’d do anything right now to please this man. 

Aaron hums happily, “That’s my good girl. You look so pretty tonight, you wanted us to match huh?”

“Mhm, I love that shirt on you, it brings out your muscles. You couldn’t be sexier if you tried,” you said rubbing your hands up and down his arms. 

“Mmm, trying to sweet talk me, princess?” he asks pulling you closer. You had to crane your neck to look up at him. Even in your heels, your 5’3 frame was dwarfed by his size.  You loved how big he was, but he didn’t show it. His size is a byproduct of his commitment to his health and well-being. 

“Maybe I am. Who can blame me? You’re the most handsome man here, and that’s just looks. Nobody here knows how funny, sweet, caring, emotionally articulate -,” you were abruptly cut off by Aaron pressing his lips to yours.  It was like the world stopped. Of course, you’d imagined kissing Aaron but that was nothing compared to the real thing. His lips are as soft as they look, providing the perfect amount of pressure. A soft whimper leaves your lips as Aaron’s hand grips your waist. Aaron pulled away and you chased his lips drunk on the feeling of kissing him. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” he chuckles. You look up at him a little dazed. 

“C’mon baby, let’s get out of here. I’m ready to have you all to myself,” Aaron leads you back to the bar to close out your tab (of course he gave his card to the bartender the minute you turned away) before heading out.

You can feel the charged energy between you both as you leave the lounge. You feel like a kid on Christmas, waiting and waiting for Santa to come and now that he’s here you’re ready to unwrap your present. Aaron opens your door and helps you in, the 3 glasses of wine you had finally catching up to you. You’re not drunk, just a tiny bit buzzed. Butterflies driving monster trucks are roaming around in your belly. You can smell the citrus and sandalwood of Aaron’s cologne and you hum happily.

“You smell so good,” you sigh whimsically.

Aaron reaches across you to buckle you in and chuckles, “Thank you, princess. Let’s get you home yeah?” You nod before leaning up and placing a small kiss on his cheek.

“Yeah Daddy, take me home.”

“Fuck, I need you princess,” Aaron groans as he pushes you through the front door with his lips attached to your neck. 

You turn in his arms, deft fingers slowly unbuttoning his shirt. “I would rip this off you but, you look so good in it,” you smirk up at him.

“Sweetheart, you’re testing me here. I’m trying to be patient but keep it up and watch what happens,” Aaron said pupils blown so wide his eyes look like a storm cloud. You take your fingers off his top before taking a small step back. Your fingers now coming up to your own blouse. Fingers working through the buttons one by one. 

Aaron leans up against the wall biting his lip as he watches you undress for him. 

“Slower,” he says kicking off his shoes. 

Your blood ran hot, you had no idea how to be sexy. Lacking in sexual experience, your last boyfriend breaking up with you because it, you were now in your head more than ever. Fingers hovering over your third button you begin second guessing yourself. What if he doesn’t like what he sees? What if you’re not as experienced as he likes?

The negative thoughts start swirling around in your mind so rapidly, you don’t even realize when Aaron makes his way over to you. 

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours hmm?”, Aaron reaches up to your blouse his hand gently moving yours aside. 

You shake your head avoiding eye contact, “Nothing.”

Aaron grabs your chin tilting your head back to look into his eyes, “Lauren if we do this, I need to know what you’re thinking, and I need you to be honest with me. I’m not here to judge you so tell me. What’s got your face all frowned up?”

“What if I’m not what you expect? When I take my clothes off. You work with models, beautiful actresses. My body doesn’t look like theirs”, you say all your insecurities spilling out. Your hands clasped in front of you wringing them together (a nervous trait you have).

Aaron’s face hardens, he couldn’t believe you’d say those things about yourself. How couldn’t you see how unbelievably sexy you are. Now he was going to have to show you.

“Lo, do you trust me?”, Aaron asks. 

You nod your head giving him a positive answer, “Baby, of course I do.”

A sinister smirk takes over Aaron’s face, “Then be a good girl and go upstairs, take everything off except for your underwear, and wait for me on my bed.”

GOTCHA!!! If y'all want a part 2 PLEASE like and comment. As always constructive critisism is appreciated but, please be gentle.

@simplyzeeka

DIVIDER: @cxrrodedcoffin

[sgiandubh]

The trouble with Stravaigin'

This pic is currently making the rounds on Tumblr and X, and for all the good reasons (thank you @mariaae, for bringing it here):

After a rather busy week and an even busier week-end, it's certainly nice to check in for this 👆.

Funny how the dunces across the street dub this a 'wrap party combo' of sorts. Oh, come on, are you that stupid, people?

Jamie Roy's OG post is absolutely clear with this regard:

'Thank you @thevinepr for having us at @stravaigin_g12's 30th Birthday.' An event that is directly linked to this very recent Stravaigin's announcement, that has to do exclusively with S's spirits' business:

'In an announcement that will delight the legions of whisky lovers who have been demanding its addition to Stravaigin’s renowned drinks menu, The Sassenach @sassenachspirits by @samheughan is today confirmed as joining the bar’s Scotch whisky offering as a permanent fixture 🥃. (...)

Stravaigin's Olivia Wong - Scotland's Bar Manager of the Year says: “We are thrilled to welcome The Sassenach to Stravaigin. We are all big fans of Sam and his Scotch whisky here at Stravaigin and know excitement levels will be running high with our patrons, as we announce it is becoming a permanent addition to our drinks menu.'

Note to self: this is something Marple 'forgot' to post about, despite her all-consuming obsession for S. Without this information, the rest was presented as just another heavy drinking sesh. Tss, shame on you, madam! Is this where you're at? Lying to your readers, in an attempt to demonstrate: a) S is a highly-functioning alcoholic (by your reasoning, half of the UK might be, ROFLMAO) and b) Ashley Hearn is a lazy, entitled idiot, who spends her time in bars chatting and drinking with her buddies?

Lying by omission is either a mortal sin (when made with the purpose of hurting someone's reputation) or a venial one (when 'in jest', like the Screeching Banshees pretend to do). But I have no idea if that woman is a Catholic, nor do I care. Either way, it's unsavory as fuck. So long for playing it Switzerland, in here.

All of the above to emphatically (LOL for ages) say that this event has nothing to do with Outlander. This has everything to do with Sam Roland Heughan and his own, local business network. This is exactly why Jamie Roy was thanking the organizing PR firm (more on this, a bit later in this post).There were zero reasons for C to be there that night, something that has been confirmed by fans on X:

Interesting: 'took a picture with them'. In the context, people were wondering if there were pics with the Two of Them, not the rest of the cast. But hey, didn't you know? THEY CAN'T STAND EACHOTHER, NEVER COULD!

And there we go, we have the arrival video (why does it always have to be Brazilian fans directly or indirectly involved? that is a mystery on par with who killed JFK, LOL):

And here we have it, courtesy of @maripimpao, the OG X poster (https://x.com/Mari_pimpao/status/1850588095046971487?t=p3_lv013WuINhA085ayr4A&s=19).

... S arriving separately, as predictible, probably on his own (fucking Tumblr doesn't let me upload more than one video, but you'll find everything on the X page above), then C and Skeleton (God, that girl must KNOW stuff!) together - not surprised at all, either:

A normal convo ensues, C stating that she feels 'both happy and sad' because Friday was their last day ever on set. I was very surprised by her genuine warmth, to be honest, as I wasn't expecting it, but it is in line with public lore on her being spotted before by fans.

A word on The Vine PR company. This is one of the biggest PR firms in Scotland and even the UK, with a very nice portfolio of clients, partners and events they manage on the regular:

Oh...

And re-oh...

So, there should come as no surprise to find, among The Vine's clients (for whom it managed flagship events), two of LVMH's portfolio companies/brands: Moët & Chandon and Glenmorangie. I also remember being ridiculed, as writing fanfic, by both Marple and her minions. Well, eat crow now, I have been announcing it for a year, already, for both of them. Not once, but three times in a row.

One...

Two...

Third time's a charm/Jamais deux sans trois:

Business-wise, this is about the amount of time it takes to make things of this amplitude happen. Wait, I forgot that business was bound to flounder, sweet Baby Jesus on a motorbike!

On top of it all, I have some very inconvenient, yet rhetorical questions (for the people across the street, a rhetorical question is supposed to make a point, not wait for an answer):

What about McTavish's spirits business? Still in promo mode, bought medals, and all the tralala? Hmmm.

What about Tony McGill? Why isn't he seen at any event at all, in the music business or otherwise, like ever? Isn't he supposed to manage (Media Manager, my 🦶) a Scottish band? Where was he, on Friday night? How does he even do business? Hmmm.

Oh, FFS.

[alien-magnolia]

Ani. <3

Anakin skywalker (dom-coded) + fem!reader (sub-coded) use of the force in certain <3 ways, night terrors, hurt/comfort, angst, ani shows you his strength! (Size kink) soft and then rough -ish sex, crying, etc (daddy!issues, sorry I had to)

You wake up, shaking. You had that dream again. The one about how your father died. You missed him a lot, especially since he had passed away such a long time ago — for half your life, he was gone. You were lost when your father died. Did not know what to do with yourself. You got yourself in trouble with some slave traders on Tattooine — you were theirs for a week or so: until some Jedi saved you. That Jedi, just happened to be Anakin Skywalker, who then took you under his wing as his padawan. He knew you were force sensitive right away. He convinced the council to personally train you, himself. 

Everything was fine, at first. He was greatly skilled, and you had much to learn from him. Yet you could tell that something was brewing between the two of you. The way his big eyes looked at you, sometimes you felt that when he sparred with you, he was noticing something else besides your technique with your lightsaber.

He revealed how he felt about you, eventually. He told you that you were the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, and that he couldn’t help but devote himself to you from the first moment that he saw you. This is why you were his padawan. Shortly after, you became his woman. After that, his wife. It was a secret marriage, of course, yet you still loved him all the same. You remembered your wedding on Endor, the forest moon shining over the two of you, how beautiful he looked all dressed in black. You felt like the two of you were the only humans in the galaxy. You loved how deeply he loved and cared for you. 

Waking from this dream clearly upset you, and upset him therefore, too. Of course he would notice right away, he was extremely force sensitive, after all. His metal arm feels cool placed on your shoulder. “My love. Are you okay? I can sense fear in you.” “I had that dream again, Ani. It just hurts,” you tell him. 

He knew that dream, all the same. You kept having the dream about how your father died, in an industrial accident on Tattooine — where you were raised. You were only a little girl then, but the pain you felt when you saw how mutilated his body was, was immeasurable. It traumatized you. You relived the moment a lot in your dreams. Your dad always loved you more than your mom — it’s just how it was. Ever since he passed, you couldn’t find anyone to replace his love and care for you. Until now.

“It’s just a dream, sweetheart. It’s in the past. I know you are hurt. Memories are only in your mind. They won’t come to reality. Trust me,” he says, his thumb caressing your cheek, his other hand rubbing circles on your back in an attempt to calm you down. 

You stifle back a sob, he brings you in close to his chest, you listen to his heartbeat and it soothes you. You didn’t want to lose him like you lost your dad. You were so grateful to have someone care for you like that again, to feel special, to feel loved by your husband. It’s a feeling you wouldn’t trade for anything across the galaxy. 

“Your heart rate is still high, my love. Why don’t you try and sleep, hmm?,” he gently chides at you, his big eyes looking down at you in his arms. Anakin was passionate. He loved deeply. Cared deeply. 

“Can’t, Ani. Too tense,” you sigh. You told him that you’d maybe want to take a walk out on the balcony. “Dressed like this?,” he asks, fingers running over your silk nightgown. “Passerby’s might see you. Come. I have a better idea,” he kisses your temple, leads you by the waist back into your bedroom. He decorated the whole room with the moon and stars, things he knew that you loved.

“You are tense. Let me take care of you, sweetheart. Relax,” he softly commands you, and gently pushes you back onto the bed. He’s on top of you, his knee gently pressing into your core, as his hand pries your legs apart. “By the force. You’re so beautiful. My wife. Fuck,” he barely whispers, his thick fingers trail along the soft pillowy part of your thighs. His large hand comes up to cup your cheek, bringing you in for a hot kiss. His soft lips dance with yours, you feel his love through the force as his kiss deepens, you trace the nape of his neck, it’s so warm to the touch <3. He pulls away from you, his lips red and swollen from all the love he’s given you. “You’re an angel. Really,” he breathes, his hands now working to undo your silk nightgown. “Thank the force that you saved me from those slave traders, Ani,” you breathed back, your small hand reaching for his large Jedi robes. Your hand pulls away all of a sudden. A force trick.  “I’m the one taking care of you, no? Hands to yourself, my love. Just rest.” You sigh, and lay your hands to your sides. “Eager, aren’t we? Patience, sweetheart. Patience,” he chides, those emotional eyes staring through you again, as he takes off his robes, his broad, muscular chest and metallic arm shining in the pale moonlight glow. He’s on top of you again, kissing every inch of your body, slowly, smirking as you get more and more flustered. He loves to toy with you ever so gently. He knew that when it came to him, patience was one thing you could not have. You wanted him immediately, and who was he to deny you what you want? He just always loved to stall a little.

His fingers harshly squeeze your breasts, you let out a squeal, and he chuckles, his soft lips coming up to bite the fabric of your bra, and his hands coming over to undo it. As soon as it was off, his mouth was latched onto your nipple, you could tell that he used the force to put as much of your breast into his mouth as he could fit. His hands firmly squeezed your hips as he brought you as close to him as possible. The sound of his plush lips suckling against your soft and sensitive tit were driving you up the wall.

“Ani. Ani. Want more. Please!,” you beg, as the pressure his mouth is putting on you making you wetter and wetter by the minute. You attempt to squeeze your legs together for a semblance of relief. You feel his hand stop you. “Angel. Don’t interrupt me until I get my fill, hmm?,” he paused for a second, gripping your cheek, his hand a little rougher this time. You started to cry, tears slowly dripping down your cheeks. “Aww. Is my girl upset?,” he taunts you, a somewhat sinister smile could be seen from his place in between your tits. “Hurts!,” you cry out, tears streaming down your face faster. You feel his length grow, harder, thicker, it was pressing into your thigh at this point. Your crying made him thirst for you even more.

He continues on your chest, your body now covered in red marks, wet with his spit. He moves down to your stomach, your hips, pausing to take his time there. He finally reaches your sopping cunt, pressing gentle kisses onto your hot core, pausing a minute just to breathe you in. His fingers wipe some of the tears off your face. “So cute when you’re upset. Want more?,” he asks. You nod, sniffling. Without a second doubt, he dives in, practically attached to your core, making a meal of it as he does. You squirm in an attempt to get away from his lips, but his strong hands hold down your thighs, he holds you down so much that you can barely move, his metal hand making painful indents in your thighs!! 

You squeal and squirm beneath him, and he only emits that low, low chuckle that drives you insane, as he keeps his ministrations on your clit <3 harsher and harsher by the second, until you come on his face, covering his perfect cheeks, nose, in your cum. 

“Fuck. Angel. So good. You taste as sweet as you look,” he patronizes you as he presses a wet kiss to your forehead. “Up, come on, now,” he chided at you, bringing you to your feet, he knew you could barely stand from what he already gave you, yet the man was not satisfied. He loved his wife too much, and he had to give every single inch and centimeter of her body <3 the love it deserved. 

His hands grip your hips like a vice, pushing you against the wall, your body caged between his strong arms. “My wife,” he sighs, his metal hand feeling cool against your cheek as he grips your face gently, pulling you into the trap of his kisses. At this point, almost your entire body was covered in marks. His other hand trails down to cup and squeeze your wet cunt, and you almost stumble over from the pressure he’s putting on it. 

“The force made you so strong, Ani,” you moan out, in between kisses. ”Haven’t seen it all yet, sweetheart,” he huffs, spinning you around so your chest is against the wall, faster than you can blink. You feel his hard and hot bulge press against you, his soft lips come up to press a few kisses on your ear, and he gives you a little bite there <3. “Ani!! More,” you whine, incredibly flustered from this act of dominance. His broad chest presses against your back, as you hear him shuffle and take off more of his clothes. “Stay there,” he commands, and then you feel his soft, leaning tip pass through your folds. 

“Just want it in. Ani!,” you beg him. Suddenly you feel pressure on your neck. “Take what you’re given. Tired of your begging, angel,” he states, his face serious and stoic. “Okay, Ani,” you look at him in shock, more tears streaming down your face, taken aback yet satisfied with the show of power he just had over you. You liked it. He knew. 

“That’s my good girl. So beautiful. Stay still now,” he brushes your cheek and turns your face around again. His chest against yours, arms holding your body, you feel him slide in, his cock girthy, throbbing. You loved his size. He was tall and it showed!! 

You feel white hot pleasure, pressure building as he drives his cock into you, faster, faster, to the point where you start to see his hand make a crack in the wall you were pushed up against. You hear his grunts, getting louder by the minute, you feel him bury his face in the crook of your neck, his teeth biting down onto your shoulder. His heavy balls slap against your soft thighs <3 

“Fuck. Angel. Have to. Ah,” — he grunt, and finishes in you. You smiled and squeezed your thighs as you felt his hot seed dripping around your walls. “There you go, beautiful. All better now, hmm?,” he turns you around, the both of you chuckling at the cracked wall behind you. “Yes, Ani. So much better. Thanks to you,” you reply, and wrap your arms around his neck, jumping up to him for a long, chaste, kiss. He returns the kiss gratefully, his big hands smoothing down your sweat covered hair. 

“Come. Let me take you back to our room,” he offers, and as if you were as light as a feather, he carried you back to your shared bedroom, gently laying you down on the satin sheets. “Did you like it? I hope I wasn’t too rough,” he asks you, sheepishly rubbing his hand against the back of his head. “No, Ani. Was great. You always know how to make me feel so much better. So safe,” you confide in him, your hands holding his face, his hands holding yours, as the two of you lay wrapped in those silky, soft, sheets, under the soft glow of the moon. 

“A man should protect his wife, my love. Make her feel safe, loved. Loved in every way,” he whispers to you. You felt as if you and him were the only ones on Coruscant. “You sure know how to do that, Ani. I haven’t had a man that made me feel so loved, ever since my father,” you sniffle. “I don’t care about anything else in this world, you know. Only you.” he brings you in for a long kiss, his hand lifting up your chin. “Come. Sleep now. I am sure you’ll have a good dream,” he moves both of your bodies onto the pillow, and you lay your head on his chest, breathing in his scent, deeply. You fall asleep on him in under a minute, and he looks at you in adoration as he falls into a deep sleep as well.

Author’s note: My first Anakin fic! I fell in love with the whole Star Wars series (but especially him <3, he’s soooo… ugh. I hope i got his personality down nicely. I was thinking of doing a sequel, or prequel to this, something either about how reader and Ani meet, or if they decide to start a family. I wish he had all this with Padme :( . Anyways! Enjoy fellow Ani lovers <3, and comments and reblogs are always welcome!! Don’t we all want a man like him.

[iamnotoriginalphil]

Your New Girl (Melissa Schemmenti x f!Reader)

Synopsis: You ask Melissa to help you get back at your ex when you lie and say you have a new girlfriend

Words: 4.6k

Warnings: low self esteem, asshole ex girlfriends, alcohol

“I need to ask you a massive favour.”

You closed the classroom door, pressing your back to it. Looking up from over the top of her glasses, Melissa considered you for a long moment. Her lips pursed and in one horrifying moment it came crashing down what a bad idea this had been.

“You know what? Never mind.”

You spun, hand already on the doorknob.

“Whaddaya want?” she asked before you could flee.

You sighed, turning back around. The expression on her face was not helping with the nerves in your body, nor the belief she was about to tear you a new one.

“Look, uh… you know how Ava tricked me into going to the club with her tonight?”

“Uh huh,” you said, the expression on her face darkening.

“Well, through a horrible set of circumstances my ex girlfriend was here, talking to Ava who invited her tonight and I might have mentioned that I have a super hot girlfriend as she was leaving and she said she couldn’t wait to meet her tonight,” you rushed out, watching her incredulity deepen, “and I don’t have a super hot girlfriend and I can’t just not show up because then she’ll know I lied.”

“Why do you care what she thinks?” she asked.

You took a deep breath, not wanting to admit the reason. But the way she was looking at you said you had to or she’d never give you what you wanted.

“She broke my heart. Like shattered into a million pieces on the floor broken. And when she left, she told me it was because I wasn’t good enough for her, and that she’d already found someone better. Salt in the wounds and all that,” you said, “so I guess I just wanted her to know that I’d moved on and she didn’t destroy me.”

The look of pity that crossed her face was the opposite of what you’d wanted to see. You sighed.

“Hon…” Her voice had softened.

“Don’t. Don’t with that voice. I didn’t come here for that.” You pointed at her, advancing on her desk.

“Then what did you come here for?” she asked.

“Right.” You couldn’t forget to actually ask, “I need a super hot fake girlfriend. Janine is annoying, Barbra is Barbra, and she’s already met Ava. And I know it’s a big ask, but would you be willing to pretend with me? Just for one night? I’ll buy you an entire dozen donuts from that place you love.”

“You want me to go to a club with Ava?” She raised one eyebrow.

“Two dozen,” you said.

She considered you for another long moment. You fidgeted in front of her, knowing you were asking too much of her. Of course she’d say no. No one wants to go out with Ava. Least of all Melissa. And it didn’t matter that you were kind of friends with her, not when you were asking her for so much.

“Deal.”

“What?” You must have missed something, “seriously?”

“Sure, hon. As long as you’re good for those donuts,” she replied, turning her eyes back to the work she’d been grading, “text me what time to pick you up.”

Returning home to your sad, depressing apartment, you could feel yourself freaking out. You were going to spend the night with your ex while pretending Melissa was your new super hot girlfriend. Melissa was going to be touching you. Melissa was maybe going to be flirting with you. Melissa, the most intimidating woman you’d met who you’d been half in love with for the last year, was going to be your fake girlfriend for the night. You were so fucked.

You’d shot yourself in the foot by asking her to be the one to help you with the situation you’d created. It must be self sabotage to ask the only woman who could destroy you to do this for you. The only woman you knew who could ruin you inside and out with barely more than a smile.

And yet as you got ready you did it with the hope of her finding you sexy enough to maybe see you more as than just a teacher she worked with.

The buzzer sounded just as you zipped your boots up. Were thigh high boots a smart choice? Probably not, but with your dress they made you look hot. Hopefully.

“Come on up,” you said into the intercom.

The pounding on your door had a tinge of annoyance in it already. You pulled it open, almost reeling back when you saw Melissa standing on the other side. Your eyes scanned her body, lingering in places that weren’t appropriate for a work colleague. Pants practically painted on, tight top with cleavage pushed up, she was the exact kind of vision you imagined late at night when your hand wandered.

“Well shit, hon, don’t you look like a heartbreaker,” she said.

Your cheeks heated and you felt jittery.

“Come on in,” you said, stepping back, “I need to grab my purse.”

“Why do you live in a shoebox?” she asked, looking over the apartment that was made up of four rooms at most if you were being generous.

“Unless you can tell me how to find somewhere better on our salary, this is the best I can get on my own,” you called from the bedroom.

“You could always live with someone else,” she suggested, sounding much closer than you were expecting.

She was leaning on the doorframe of your bedroom, hip cocked, arms crossed pushing up her cleavage even more. Those green eyes were watching you, so intense, making you shiver. Lips curled up in a smirk and you knew tonight was going to ruin you.

“I guess because I don’t have anyone to live with,” you replied.

“That your purse?” She glanced down at the purse in your hands.

“Yup,” you replied, “so we can go now or… never.”

“If you’re having second thoughts now’s the time to tell me,” she said.

“Not unless you are,” you said, hoping you sounded calm.

“C’mon hon.”

She grabbed your arm, pulling you out of your apartment without another word. She held the car door open for you, like you were going on a proper date. Your heart fluttered.

The car ride to the club was surprisingly quiet. You kept sneaking glances over at her, not sure if you should fill the silence or not. Janine would, which made you think Melissa wouldn’t appreciate it. So that left you listening to the radio quietly as you did your best not to stare too long at her.

“Relax,” she said, pulling up a street or two from the club, “we can still leave if you want.”

“I’m crazy for doing this right?” You sought out her eyes, needing the reassurance that you hadn’t totally lost your mind.

“Sure, maybe a little. But who doesn’t get a bit crazy around an asshole ex?” she said, “look, hon, I’m not gonna judge you for doing this but if you don’t want to go in there I can take you home. Or I could buy you a drink and we can ignore her altogether. Since we’re already here.”

You bit down on your lip as you thought about it. The interior of the car was so dark you must have misread the way her eyes flicked down then away from you.

“Okay,” you said, “yeah, a drink. And thanks. For doing this and indulging in my crazy.”

“The donuts are worth it,” she said, opening her door.

You laughed as you followed her, reminding yourself this was an exchange and she wasn’t helping you out of the kindness of her heart. There was no way she liked you enough for that. You weren’t Barbra.

She placed her hand on the small of your back. You could feel her warmth through the thin material of your dress, burning into your skin as you walked to the line of the club. The line stretched far down the block, thumping music spilling out whenever the door was opened to let someone in. You went to join the end of the line but Melissa guided you to the man at the door.

She lent forward, whispering something in his ear. He nodded, holding the door open for them.

“C’mon, hon,” she said, hand sliding around to grasp your hip, “only the best for my girl.”

A high pitched giggle was the only response you gave.

Inside the bass was thumping and the lights were flashing and bodies were pressing in from every angle. Melissa kept her arm around you, holding you close as she wound through people, directing you towards the bar. There were people on tables dancing and you were already regretting letting Ava trick you into coming with her.

“Gimme a beer and one of those green drinks,” Melissa shouted across the bar at one of the bartenders.

She lent back against it, pulling you closer until her body was brushing against yours.

“Are you going to be driving home?” you asked, raising your voice to be heard above the music.

“I’m only gonna have one. Don’t worry, hon. I’ll make sure you get home okay,” she said, leaning forward to say it into your ear. Her lips brushed against your earlobe, making you shiver.

“Hey.”

A hand landed on your shoulder. Melissa’s gaze hardened. You turned, finding your ex standing there, looking as hot as the first day you’d met her. She was grinning at you, eyes slowly taking in your appearance.

“I wasn’t sure you’d show up,” she shouted to you.

“I promised Ava,” you shouted back.

A hand curled around your waist again, hand grazing over your stomach. You were pulled back against a supple body, a chin coming to rest on your shoulder. Your ex turned her gaze to Melissa, smile hardening.

“This is Melissa, the woman I was telling you about,” you said, “Mel, this is Carrie.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Melissa said, not bothering to offer her hand to your ex.

You felt the challenge in the air.

“All good I hope,” Carrie said.

“Keep hoping,” Mel replied.

You had to stifle your laughter. Carrie’s face hardened as Melissa tightened her arm around you.

“Here you go, sweetheart,” she murmured, passing the electric green drink to you.

“Thanks,” you replied, turning your head to look at her, nose brushing against hers.

You paused a moment, breathless from how close she was. Her eyes were lingering on your lips, breath ghosting over your skin. You couldn’t move, drawn into the well of her gravity, leaning closer.

“Aw, aren’t you guys cute?”

You blinked, drawing back from Melissa just enough to be able to breath again. Her hand was still pressing against her stomach, holding you close. Carrie was watching you two, a straw between her lips, sucking slow on the liquid in her glass. Her eyes kept darting between the two of you, something mean curling her lip.

“I didn’t realise you were into older woman,” she said, “I mean she must be old enough to be your mother.”

You felt Melissa stiffen behind you. You rolled your eyes at Carrie, snorting at the implication. It was such a weak argument.

“Sorry, turns out I like someone mature enough to hold a meaningful conversation,” you replied, “and with the experience to be more than an unsatisfying fumble under the covers.”

Soft lips pressed to your cheek. You inhaled sharply, trying to remain relaxed in her hold as eyes narrowed. You took a drink from the glass, covering the warmth in your cheeks and the shaky hand. If just the brush of her lips against the apple of your cheek could do this to you, you would never survive more from her.

“Ava is waiting for you in the VIP area,” Carrie said.

“Oh goodie,” you muttered.

Melissa snorted, tangling her fingers with yours to tug you after Carrie’s retreating back. The brush of her palm against yours, the feel of her warmth so close, the scent of her perfume wrapping around you. It was all too much.

“You’re right,” she murmured against your ear, “she’s a bitch.”

“Really?” you asked.

“Fuck her,” she grumbled but you weren’t sure you were meant to have heard.

You moved into the roped off section of the club, upstairs and exclusive, the kind of place you’d never been before. Melissa slipped her arm around your waist again, the brush of her body making you feel lightheaded. The people surrounded you weren’t so packed in and their clothing was way nicer than those downstairs. Expensive drinks were flowing like water. You felt so out of place.

Carrie sat at a small collection of sofas and chairs in the middle of the room. Ava was holding court, drink in one hand, bottle of champagne in the other. The others around were listening and laughing along. You hovered, feeling so out of place, sliding your arm around Melissa’s waist just to feel grounded to something real.

Melissa?” Ava said, catching sight of you standing just outside their circle, “what are you doing here?”

“She’s with me,” you replied, tightening your hold on her until she was pressed against your side.

Yeah, you were so fucked.

“Wait, you two are together? Since when?” she asked.

“Yeah, since when?” Carrie asked, leaning forward until her cleavage was practically spilling out of her dress.

“A while now,” you replied.

“Why didn’t you tell me? You know I love gossip,” Ava complained.

“Didn’t want you in my business,” Melissa said, “still don’t if I’m being honest.”

“You didn’t have any issue telling me,” Carrie said, looking up from under her eyelashes at her.

“It’s a little different telling you than it is telling my boss,” she replied.

“You trying to make me jealous, cookie?” she asked, smirking up at you.

You’d forgotten she’d used to call you that.

“Since you told me you could do better I didn’t think I was able to,” you replied.

Melissa’s arm tightened around you, fingers pressing into your hip.

“But then you showed up looking like that so I might have to reevaluate that,” she replied.

You couldn’t miss the growl that came from Melissa. She pressed closer to you and when you turned to look at her, she was clenching her jaw and glaring at Carrie.

“Too bad she already has someone then,” she snapped.

Carrie’s eyes were almost lazy as they moved over to Melissa.

“We’ll see,” she hummed, tongue pulling the straw in her glass back into her mouth.

You could feel how tense Melissa was, body stiff, almost vibrating. You turned your head, lips brushing her cheek. Those green eyes flashed down to you, softening for a moment. You sighed, gently brushing a bit of her hair away from her face, fingers lingering on her skin.

“Do you want to dance?” she asked.

“You dance?” You smiled up at her.

“Course I dance,” she said, sounding offended.

“You better show me your moves then, Schemmenti,” you murmured.

She plucked the empty glass from your hand, placing it down on a passing waiter’s tray before threading her fingers through yours and tugging you towards the dance floor. Once you were there, you weren’t sure what to do. Not that you didn’t know how to dance. You just didn’t know how to dance with Melissa. You paused, too far from her to even touch.

“What are you doing, hon?” she asked, reaching out to pull you closer.

“Sorry.” You shook your head, “aren’t you finding this all a bit… weird?”

She pulled your arms around your neck, her own sliding around your waist. Your whole body flooded with heat as her hips began to move in time with the music. She was slow, guiding you against her, bodies pressing closer, one of her legs slotting between yours. Your breath caught, a low throbbing beginning as she brushed against you.

“Does this feel weird to you, hon?” she asked.

You couldn’t answer that question honestly.

“I don’t know if you’re a good actress or just a good liar but you’re weirdly good at this,” you said.

“And you need to loosen up,” she said.

Her hands drifted to your hips. With practiced ease, she guided your hips to sway, practically grinding down on the thigh she’s slotted between yours. You pressed your lips together, doing your best not to let the small whimper fall from your lips. Leaning forward, her hair brushed against your cheek, lips brushing your earlobe again.

“You’re doing fine,” she whispered.

“Do you think I’m making my point?” you asked.

Her hands were guiding you to grind down on her harder. Your eyes caught on hers, not able to look away as the music beat in time with the thud of your heart. Breath caught in your chest, not sure what the expression on her face was. If you had hope, it would be something close to lust.

“She’s watching us,” Melissa said, “and she looks mad. She knows she has no chance with you.”

She hauled you closer, hands sliding from your hips to your ass. Another flash of heat swarmed through your veins. She was close enough that if you just tilted your face up just right your lips would be brushing against hers. The warmth of her body was everywhere and you couldn’t control the way a moan rumbled in your chest. Her lips quirked up into a crooked smile.

A warm body pressed to your back, startling you out of your thoughts. Melissa’s eyes flicked to whoever was at your back, hardening. Her hands, still on your ass, pulled you close enough there was no space between, bodies pressed together as tight as possible. You turned your head, finding Carrie behind you. She gave you a smile you’d seen before, the one she would shoot you as she was trying to turn you on. The one that always inevitably ended with your fingers buried inside her.

You narrowed your eyes, pointedly turning away from her. Melissa was right there and an awful idea entered your head. An idea so bad you knew it was terrible even before your impulse control left your body and you knew you’d be paying for it for years to come. You tightened your arms around her next, pulling her down until she was a hairbreadths away from you.

“Please don’t kill me,” you whispered.

You didn’t give her a chance to respond before your lips were pressed to hers. She was frozen beneath yours for a long drawn out moment. When she began to kiss you back you had to do your best not to read too much into it or enjoy it too much. Her tongue swept over your bottom lip. You gasped into her mouth, her tongue licking in. Your head was growing dizzy and she was everywhere and everything. Her hands on your body, that leg still between yours, the thrumming of heat in your veins making your thoughts scatter until there was nothing but her.

You could taste her, the beer she’d been drinking lingering. You moaned into her mouth, the entire attempt to not enjoy the kiss fleeing. She kissed you harder, hands squeezing. Your hips were pressing down on her thigh, grinding in time with the music again as she turned your body to jelly. You wanted to melt against her and to writhe beneath her and scream her name as you came over and over again.

“Get a room.”

You jumped, lips pulling away from hers. Carrie was glaring at the two of you, bright spots on her cheeks. It was like a bucket of cold water was dumped over you, reminding you of exactly what was going on. You looked back to Melissa, feeling stricken. The way she was looking at you was something you never wanted to see.

“I’m so sorry.”

You pulled out of her hold, darting away through the crowd. You couldn’t face her, not after that. She had not signed up for you mauling her on the dance floor. She’d never speak to you again. You’d ruined any chance of anything ever happening. Just remembering the look on her face, the way she looked at you, made you want to throw up.

Pushing out of the door onto the street, cold air hit your body. You gasped for breath, stumbling down the street, doing your best not to cry. You had to get home. You had to never show your face again. You had to figure out a way to avoid Melissa for the rest of your life.

There was no plan, your feet just carrying you as far from the club as you could get. You heard someone shout your name. You quickened your pace, curling your arms around your body, trying to keep your ribs from exploding.

A warm hand grasped your shoulder as you were passing a familiar car. It spun you, forcing you stare into thunderous green eyes. You tried to pull away but Melissa’s hold on you only tightened. Tears sprung up into your eyes and you looked away from her.

“What the fuck?” she demanded.

“I’m so sorry,” you said, “really. I… I don’t even know what came over me. I just… I’m really sorry.”

“Yeah, so you keep saying.” She still wasn’t letting go of you, “why’d ya run?”

“Because…” You couldn’t even look at her.

“Because what? Was I that bad at kissing? I know I’m not your first choice but you didn’t have to run outta there like I was something you found living in your drain,” she said.

“What?” She wasn’t making any sense.

“If you were that disgusted by me you coulda asked someone else to help you,” she said and for the first time you could hear the hurt in her voice.

Maybe that expression hadn’t been disgust like you’d thought.

“I ran because I thought you didn’t like it. Or were mad at me. Or were going to hate me,” you said, “I thought… fuck Mel, I thought you hated kissing me.”

She was looking at you like you’d lost your damned mind.

“Why would you think that?” she asked.

“Because of the way you were looking at me. And I know you don’t like me like that and you’re you so I know that you want to keep people you work with at a certain distance. And you wouldn’t want me kissing you since I didn’t even ask and you don’t want me kissing you,” you blurted out.

“Whaddaya talking about?”

You sighed, knowing you were going to have to admit to things you hadn’t wanted to if only to make her think you didn’t hate her. She might hate you even more once you did though.

“Melissa…” She was so going to hate you, “I like you. I really like you. So much that some days you’re all I can think about. And I’ve thought about kissing you so many times before and whenever I imagined it, you always wanted it too. Tonight’s just been kind of a lot, knowing you were doing everything just as a favour and not because…. Not because you wanted to.”

“Hon,” she began to say.

“It’s fine,” you cut her off, “it’s fine, Mel. You don’t feel the same. It’s okay.”

“You gonna let me talk?” she demanded, finally letting you go.

You gestured for her to continue, heart constricting, not wanting to hear the rejection you knew was coming. But, like a love sick fool, you couldn’t say no to her.

“I wouldn’t have said yes to this if I didn’t like you,” she said and then stopped. You waited but it seemed as if that was the end of what she wanted to say.

“I don’t understand,” you said, shaking your head.

Her hands landed on your hips, pushing you until your back hit her car. Your eyes widened, mouth falling open. Her eyes turned down to them, before looking into yours.

“I like you, hon. I’ve thought about kissing you. I’ve thought about doing a whole lot more than kissing too. I thought you were the one who didn’t want me,” she said.

“Why would you think that?” You didn’t know what to think.

“You heard what that… what she said. I’m old enough to be your mom. Why would you want me,” she said.

“Because you’re hot as fuck,” you said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “and my favourite person. I’d take you over everyone.”

She never gave you the chance to say more, lips claiming yours in a searing kiss. She pressed you back against the car, your own hands coming up to cup her cheeks, wanting her closer. She moaned into your mouth, tongue finding yours until you were melting against her. You whimpered and she groaned, drawing back from you.

“Time I took you home, sweetheart,” she said, lips trailing down your neck.

“Don’t wanna go home,” you sighed, fingers sliding into her hair.

“Not your home,” she all but growled, “mine.”

Someone wolf-whistled from across the street. You startled, jerking away from her. She shouted something back at the man, words lost in your haze as you stared up at her unable to believe what was happening. She turned back to you.

“Get in the car,” she said.

You opened the door, feeling her hand smack your ass before you could climb in. You glanced over your shoulder at her, finding her eyes travelling over your body, the exact way they had when you’d opened the door to her. A flush of heat went through you, understanding making the whole thing so much more heightened.

You tugged her into another kiss, short and intense, watching the way she seemed to become dazed when you pulled back.

“You better get me home,” you told her, “because I plan on showing you exactly how hot I find you. And showing you how thankful I am for you helping me.”

“She was wrong you know,” she said, hand coming up to cup your cheek, thumb running along your bottom lip.

“What?” you asked.

“There is no one better than you. And you’re worth about a million of her,” she said, “way too good for her.”

You felt your heart melting. She tucked some of your hair behind your ear, fingertips lingering on your jaw.

“She doesn’t even compare.”

The next kiss you pressed to her lips was soft, the kind that was heartfelt and sweet, almost sickeningly so.

“Okay, get in. I’m taking you home now or I’m gonna have to fuck you against my car and that guy over there is still watching us like we’re free porn,” she whispered in your ear, making you press your thighs together, “and I’m want you all to myself.”

You slid into her car, smiling sweetly at her. The heated look you got in return only made you sure you had made the right decision by asking her to help you.

The next morning, waking to her lips trailing down your body, you thought you should send a thank you note to your ex. Without her, you might never have ended up telling Melissa how you felt. And then you might never have won the most amazing woman you’d ever met. She deserved at least a thank you note for making you the happiest person alive.

[yeollie-plz]

Rom-Com

Charles Leclerc x GN! Reader

Synopsis: You just wanted to buy some merch, you didn’t realize you’d return with a man too.

Genre: fluff, angst

Warnings: kissing, tbh I don’t think anything else it’s too fluffy

Gif credits to owners!

A/N: So this literally came to me in a dream and I just had to write it! Ik the concept is a bit shaky but tbh I didn’t get much detail from dream me so!

Arriving in Las Vegas, you were over the moon to see the GP that was being held there this weekend. It was your first time ever getting to go to one in person and to say you were excited would be an understatement.

When your friend first suggested the idea, you never thought you’d be able to swing it. But, here you were landing in Sin City!

Then your friend suggested to go to the secret pop-up shop that she had saw online. It seemed just a bit sus but hey you wanted some exclusive merch. So you agreed.

The shop was cute, they had merch you had never seen before! As you looked through the various items, you couldn’t help but notice a crowd drawing towards a certain corner of the shop.

The shop was small, only letting a few people in at a time, so for them all to be so close together. Something had to be going on.

Curiosity got the best of you as you let your body ease towards the crowd. Whispers getting louder as you got closer. Hearing words of ‘a driver being here’.

You rose to your tippy toes, trying to get a glimpse of anything. As your neck craned you saw a head of brown hair, right as a camera flashed. You lost your balance, letting yourself recenter when you landed on the ground. Was there really a driver here?

As you moved around the outer ring of the circle, you tried to get any view that you could. Long since losing your friend, you decided you might as well just push forward. As nicely as you could, you wiggled your way through the crowd trying to decipher all the commotion.

That’s when you saw him. In all his glory. Charles Leclerc.

It couldn’t be! The Charles Leclerc was in a random pop-up shop, down a random alley in Las Vegas? It was like something from a meet-cute in a romantic comedy. No! It was like an event from a fanfiction!

And just like how the fanfiction would play out, you waited for your turn to acknowledge the boy and when he finally locked eyes with you, sparks. You stumbled over your words a bit, trying to find the right way to extend your appreciation for him.

He laughed lightly as you tried to find your words. He gestured to the couch that lined the wall, willing you to sit and as you did the camera flash went off again. It seemed to snap you into reality, remembering that this was just a PR thing. Some fan service that he was doing.

You let the pictures be taken, smiling as brightly as you could with your nerves the way they were. That’s when on his own accord, Charles closed the distance between the two of you on the couch and threw his arm over your shoulder.

Your smile instantly dropped, a look of shock replaced it. The last camera flash went off, leaving white lights in your eyes.

The arm that was around your shoulders helped to gesture you to stand. You stood and whispered a thank you before scurrying off.

As you meandered around the store, trying to find your friend, you found yourself glancing back to the area Charles was at. Each time his eyes met yours, something flashing behind them. It was almost inviting.

You turned a corner finally finding your friend. As you scolded her for wandering off without you, a voice sounded behind you.

“So what do you think, do you think if I wrapped this enough it would make it home in one piece?”

You turned to see Charles standing there holding up a snow globe. His head was tilted in question, a smirk playing on his lips.

“I-um I think with enough it would be fine, sure.” You confirmed.

“What did you pick out?” He gestured to the shirt you were clutching, you hadn’t realized how firmly until he pointed it out. Walking closer to you he grabbed the shirt from your now limp hands and held it up, considering it.

“Nice choice. Although you should’ve went with Ferrari red. It would look good on you.” He said with a smile, slipping the shirt back in your hands and leaving you two alone without a word.

“First of all, was that Charles Leclerc? Second of all, was Charles Leclerc just flirting with you?” Your friend asked in shock. She grabbed your shoulders as if shaking you would loosen some answers from you.

“Yes it was and no he wasn’t.” Brushing her hands off you as you spoke.

“Then what’s this?” She grabs a piece of paper that had somehow made it into your hands, bunched with the shirt. “His number!” She confirms after looking at it.

She holds it out for you to see before whisking it away and running through the store. You chase closely after her. Not only are you trying to catch her, but the number of the super hot F1 driver.

Finally you do and you snatch the number from her death grip. Glancing down you see it truly is Charles Leclerc’s number. Your eyes go wide.

“So are you going to text him?” She asks, hand on her hip.

“Is that even a question?”

It’s almost three months later when you see Charles Leclerc again. The two of you have been texting almost nonstop in that time. You could feel yourself slowly falling for him. You just hoped he felt the same way.

When he said was coming to visit New York and would like to see you, you were overjoyed. Somehow that made you even happier than when you had gone to your first GP.

Charles made you feel like a teenager again. A teenager with a huge crush on a cute boy, that is. But you were grateful for that, it felt good to feel this way.

Now to just get him to say it back.

That entire weekend, you were on a mission to get a love confession. You had pulled out all the stops. Booking museum tickets. Walking Central Park. You even got the two of you tickets to ice skate and you were terrible at ice skating!

You were writing a script to your own romance. First the meet cute, now the fun montage set to an upbeat hit. All that was left was the grand gesture.

And that’s where you were stuck. Usually there was a conflict in the movie that would call for that grand gesture. But you and Charles got along too well, you didn’t see any intense relationship ending arguments happening any time soon.

That was until someone finally took a picture of you and Charles out one day. Honestly, you were surprised it took that long. It wasn’t like you minded it had leaked, you were just friends hanging out, technically. Charles’s PR team on the other hand, had a big problem with it.

Ten minutes he had been in the other room, whispering yelling into his phone. Suddenly he yelled something like a goodbye and rushed out the door of his bedroom and into the living space of the huge hotel suite he had booked.

He sighed, “Sorry, they are just so dramatic about everything. One picture and they say it’s the end of my career. I drive for a living! I’m not a puppet!”

“Would it really be that bad if you were with someone?” ‘With me’ is what you wanted to say but you didn’t have the heart to.

“They think it would be. But I don’t see why it would matter if I dated anyone, I’ve done it in the past.” He sighs again, running his hand through his hair.

“Is it because I’m a nobody? They want some big star to boost your name?” You looked down at your hands.

“It has nothing to do with you! They just think anybody is an issue! I told them we are friends! I just-maybe you should go home. I’ll call a car. I’m sorry.”

With that, you leave. Not sure what to say.

The day of his flight home comes and Charles has not come to see you since that day you left his hotel. You hadn’t reached out to him and he hadn’t reached out to you.

There was no reason to feel sad about him saying you were friends, you knew that’s all you were and any silly little feelings you had couldn’t change that.

A knock sounds at your door. You glance through the peephole, seeing Charles standing there. Your brows furrow in confusion as you open the door for him.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be on a plane?”

He seems out of breath as he answers, “I couldn’t leave, not without saying what I need to say.”

“Okay, go on.” You urge sweetly.

“So I know I said we were friends but you and I both know we are more than that. I mean hell the first time I saw you I think I fell in love. Then I played this game with myself. I thought you would never love me back and I was a fool for even trying. Then you seemed to reciprocate my flirting and I was elated. For the first time I felt whole. But I think I got scared when the pictures leaked.” He paused like he was contemplating what to say next.

You reached your hand to his cheek, rubbing slowly. He leaned into the motion, seemingly giving him his confidence back.

“I got scared that you wouldn’t want a life in the spotlight and I could never give you that normal romance that you deserved.” Another pause.

“When I asked you about your favorite movie, you couldn’t give me just one. You gave me a genre, I went home and watched every available rom-com I could find just to understand you. You don’t need textbook perfect, you just need perfect for you. You need your rom-com.”

A smile creeps into your lips as he searches your eyes. You grab the front of his shirt, pulling him into you. Passionately, you kiss him, silently giving him your answer.

He laughs as he pulls away, breathless, “I guess you could call this the grand gesture.”

Your heart skips a beat.

“I guess you could.”

[blasphemecel]

Michael Kaiser — Mean

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 6.4k TYPE: Fake dating, This is not fluff or angst but a secret third thing (with a cheerful ending) WARNING(S): Depersonalization/identity issues

The first time you meet Michael Kaiser, you get a bad impression.

Yeah, sure, he doesn’t have the most stellar reputation, anyway. You’ve met all sorts of unpleasant people in your life and he manages to disappoint even when the bar is so low, the only way to go lower is through digging.

You don’t exchange a word with him, but rather you have the misfortune of having to listen to him talk throughout the entire meeting. He starts countless arguments, some valid to an extent. You can tell he’s just doing this because he’s addicted to the sound of his voice and speaking to people like they’re unimportant specks of dust all while commanding their attention. There’s no point to his fussing either because he ends up signing the same contract you do.

Waste of your goddamn time — he might as well have not signed it and saved you the trouble, since the ordeal ends up lasting three hours because of him.

Maybe you should’ve not signed it yourself, but your PR manager was salivating at the idea of fake dating as a publicity stunt, especially with Kaiser who’ll be posing with you for a photoshoot in a few months, so you said ‘whatever’ and here you are. In this predicament with an insufferable man you imagine you won’t get along with, which already predisposes you to never giving him a chance.

___

The first time you speak to Michael Kaiser, you unsettle him.

It’s unlike him to feel disturbed, let alone at the slightest thing. He’s met all sorts of sickos, so he considers himself unflinching in the face of anyone who has anything off about them.

But he’s fifteen minutes late to the ‘date’ you’re supposed to use as a tool to subtly launch your fake relationship and he’s expecting a scolding. Kaiser spots you and heads in your direction, taking the seat in front with a shitty smirk and an ingenuine, half-assed apology on his lips.

What he gets in response is a blank look — almost… unimpressed, which naturally someone like Kaiser takes as a challenge and already sets the tone for the rest of the conversation — and it’s as if you’re staring into his soul. Then in an instant your expression flips to convincing joy, your warm smile contrasting his snide one, and you say, “Let’s act like we’re really stoked.”

A chill runs down his spine. On a logical level Kaiser knows you’re faking it, but it looks real, and that’s what he finds freaky. Also, the speed.

“Let’s not,” he says. “You’re weird,” he adds after you don’t respond.

You don’t react to this information either and settle for maintaining your smile.

The barista decides to spare him from having to look at you while you don’t say anything. He’s pretty sure you’re doing this deliberately, to torture him. When you attempt to order something, he talks over you and asks, “Can you give us one of those shitty milkshakes with two straws in them?”

She stares at him in bewilderment. “We don’t sell those,” she says eventually.

“Can you make one?”

“No…”

“You’re scum,” you tell him, dropping the happy facade. Again, the quickness strikes Kaiser as disturbing. Then you give her a valid order, and he asks for water since they offer that everywhere and he can’t be bothered to read the menu. After the barista leaves, you say, “I could have lactose intolerance.”

“You could. I could be trying to kill you.”

“I don’t know if a milkshake would be enough to kill me.”

“Maybe I was trying to give you a stomach ache,” he concurs.

You don’t dignify that with a reply either.

Kaiser tries to speak with you again, “I really fucking hate milk.”

“Then why’d you do that?”

“To embarrass you, of course,” he says, like he’s revealed to you the natural order of things.

“Hm.” You consider this new information. “I’ll definitely think of a way to get back at you.”

The lukewarm threat seems to amuse him more than anything.

Then you proceed to have a hostile few hours together in public as instructed. You end up throwing napkins at his face.

Kaiser isn’t good at pretending to be in love. The only such image he seems capable of projecting is one of a middle schooler who’s failing to find a balance between playful and mean. Though it also doesn’t matter to you because you mostly teeter on the edge of mean, slightly left of apathetic. Nothing really matters to you.

___

For your second court-ordered date with Michael Kaiser, your manager tells you to get caught holding hands with him at a park after the cafe meeting doesn’t spark much controversy. The notion itself has you scrunching your face, but you don’t complain about it or voice your opinion.

Again, he’s late picking you up by a not negligent amount of time, leaving you to stand in front of your building, motionless and impatient.

Instead of announcing his presence in a more acceptable manner, Kaiser blares the car horn until you realize it’s him. After you crawl inside the passenger seat, you turn to look at him and see that he looks very pleased with himself. It’s obnoxious.

“I hope we die in a car crash,” you greet.

“We won’t.” You don’t know why, but his brain interprets this as an opportunity to brag. “I’m an excellent driver.”

He’s not. Somehow you make it to the park without getting into a catastrophe — which, as established, you wouldn’t have minded.

You exit at the same time and Kaiser frowns at you by the time he circles his way around to you. You don’t care enough about what’s bothering him to raise a questioning eyebrow let alone ask, but he tells you, “I was going to open the door for you and then offer to help you up. You ruined everything!”

You roll your eyes. “How gallant.”

“Get back in,” Kaiser says, pointing (as if the gesture will be enough to convince you to play along). “Let’s redo it.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. I have a vision for these kinds of things, that’s all.”

“Your vision is trashy and uninspired,” you reject promptly.

Kaiser seems to be the first person in the world who finds your attitude funny rather than objectionable because he grins at your response. But he’s more so looking at you like you’re a bug he finds fascinating in comparison to the rest, without any real respect or acknowledgement. 

“I admit maybe it was a bit cliche,” he says. “Would’ve made me look good, though, if someone caught it on camera.”

You smile that ghoulish smile again and grab his hand like you were told. His fingers are cold and yours even more so, making the grasp clammy and uncomfortable while you begin your stroll. You don’t even know what you’re supposed to talk about with him. Soon enough, you scowl, both the silence and the sensation of getting touched proving too much for you to hide your displeasure, even though Kaiser seems content with letting the silence fester.

“Oh? Why’d you stop? I’ve started enjoying your creepy masquerading.”

“I’m disgusted,” you say.

“Disgusted,” he repeats. “By what? Me?”

“It’s making me sick. Who knows where your hand’s been or what you’ve done.”

Albeit visibly offended for the first time if the lack of an annoying smirk is anything to draw judgments from, Kaiser drops it first. Your arm hangs by your side again, limp.

“Let go, then. Or do I need to do everything myself?” That’s quite a dramatic sentiment coming from a man who has done nothing all day besides a short drive and taking a few steps.

“But my manager said-”

“Who cares? I think my manager’s lucky I agreed to this bullshit in the first place,” Kaiser says. “By the way, my hands haven’t been in any sewers or anything to warrant this reaction, thank you very much.” He must be the type of person who only ever says thank you as if being grateful is some big joke.

“I’m not being literal. I know who you are and what people say about you. My disgust is conceptual.”

“Flattering.” Kaiser’s pleased again with the mention of this tidbit, like the mental image he’s getting of you searching him up gives him immeasurable amounts of satisfaction. One thing you’ve come to notice about him since your last outing is that he’s shameless. “You’re not special, though. Lots of people know who I am.”

“See, this is exactly what I’m talking about. You’re scum.”

“Do you usually talk to people you barely know in this way or is it preferential treatment? I’d love preferential treatment, but the other option is amusing too.”

“Usually,” you say in a monotone. “That’s why I don’t speak much. More so supposed to be looked at rather than heard, and so on.” You finish off your explanation with a flippant gesture. That’s what it’s like for you — ‘shut your trap, it ruins your appeal.’

“Well, I-” there’s an emphasis on the word ‘I’ because Kaiser always thinks his opinion matters, “-think your worldview is pathetic and embarrassing. What’s the point of being looked at if no one will listen to you? How can you be fine with that?”

Fair point. You concede in your head, but don’t commit to agreeing with him out loud. “You’re not special either. Most people gross me out.”

“You hurt me this time.” He’s sneering, though.

After a while of walking, you find yourself sitting on a bench next to him. A few pigeons strut around near your feet, bobbing their heads back and forth, almost catching a groove. “If I had any bread, I’d feed them.”

“I’m not surprised you’d feel interested in such a commoner’s activity,” Kaiser says, as if he is somehow superior to you for not wanting to participate in this.

“Vile,” you say, voice still neutral. You’re not looking at him either, attention glued to the birds.

He doesn’t know which part of it you find dismaying — was it the class shaming or what? “So you like pigeons, but you hate humanity. You’re one of those.”

“I don’t hate humanity,” you say. “But nature is repulsive by default. It’s not amoral. When we’re cruel and ugly, that’s a conscious and opportunistic decision. Every day CEOs throw their employees and workers under the bus for more profits. Someone’s getting murdered as we speak. We’re faking a relationship to attract brand deals. I’m getting sick just thinking about it.”

“Get a hobby instead of thinking about stupid shit like that. Caring about how ugly and bleak everything is won’t get you anywhere,” Kaiser… advises.

“Look at the pigeons.” You’re watching the one with the missing claws, wobbling and struggling to get around. “Humans domesticated them and then abandoned them. I love flora and fauna. They’re interesting and exist much more differently than we do.”

“Does that mean you like my tattoo then?”

“Not everything needs to be about you. It’s not like people will forget you exist when you don’t force yourself to be at the center of conversation.”

This stings him the tiniest bit. Either you’re probing into an insecurity or he’s reading too deep into what you’re gathering from your conversations with him. “If I wanted to have a pseudointellectual conversation, I wouldn’t ask a vapid model to psychoanalyze me.”

“Your opinions are unoriginal and stereotyped just like your ideas about romance,” you say, finally turning around to face him again with those haunted eyes. He’s unamused now, clenching his jaw and all. “A stupid athlete wouldn’t be my first choice for a ‘pseudointellectual conversation’ either.”

“You look down on others and judge them, so what makes you so different from all those ‘scum’ you hate? How are you exempt from your own standards?”

Do you realize you’re displaying similar behaviors to those you’re scolding him over?

“Well, there’s a simple explanation for that,” you say. Kaiser is expecting an argument or something, but you kind of floor him with your follow-up. “It’s called hypocrisy. I’m probably just as disgusting as the average person.”

“Your life must be miserable if you look at everything through this lens. What was the phrase, rose colored glasses? Yours must have shit smeared over them.”

You shrug then make a 50/50 motion with your hand. “My life’s neither good nor bad. I’m indifferent on the subject.”

“Uh huh.” Kaiser considers this, then his lips twitch up, and then his smile broadens — it’s snide and smug again, and you come to the realization that he probably doesn’t know how to smile in any other way — before he inches a little closer to you. Not enough to brush against you, but enough to count as an attempted provocation. “I think people like you shouldn’t be considered alive. Legally speaking. And if we’re being figurative, you’re obviously already dead.”

You frown at him, since he’s kind of right. The fact that Michael Kaiser has the capability to discern truths you don’t want to hear rubs you the wrong way.

“Speaking of birds,” you start, deciding to change the topic, “you remind me of a peacock.”

“Wrong.” He’s pouty now. You find the expression cute, but when you catch the thought you throw up in your mouth a bit, so you ignore it. “I’m clearly a swan.”

“The fact that you have a preference when it comes to what animal you’re considered is sad.”

“And you’re entertaining. Let’s hang out again soon even if those sorry fucks don’t suggest it.”

You find it bewildering how he calls his PR manager’s input a ‘suggestion’ and seems to think he can do whatever he wants. Which, maybe he does, seeing the way he conducts himself. You’re also tempted to tell him to make up his mind on whether he enjoys your company or not, but there are more important matters right now. “We’re not supposed to do that, I don’t think.”

“C’mon, don’t be like that.”

“Why this desire all of a sudden?”

“It’s what I want.” What impeccable reasoning. “I think I can make you enjoy yourself,” he says. “Don’t get me wrong. Not for your merit or anything stupid.” Kaiser offers what you’d describe as a flamboyant hand wave in the air, demeanor laced with complacency. “I think it’d make me feel really charitable and generous if I can manage to add something to your depressing life. Give me a chance to try.”

“Word of advice,” you scoot away from him to the point the edge of the bench is digging into your ass and it honestly hurts, “you’re not gonna get anywhere with that attitude. How you phrased it disgusted me again.”

Kaiser finds your favored terms interesting. Everything is sickening and disgusting and vile and scummy from your perspective. Deep down for reasons he doesn’t want to ponder, he can relate.

“Great. You’ll come around soon,” he promises, with the confidence of someone who thinks this is a game he has a high chance of winning.

___

Kaiser makes it a point to inflict his presence onto you as much as he can afford to with your schedules, even though there’s no need for it. Not that you refuse him either. He’s kind of interesting to keep around, in his own Kaiser-ish way.

Earlier today he invited himself over to your house. He’d decided you need to come up with a story about your ‘relationship,’ but didn’t wanna discuss it through text messages. Apparently he has an interview coming up and wants to be prepared in case they ask him about you.

“How did we meet?” you ask, sitting on the other side of the couch and leaning against the armrest, away from him.

The answer is immediate: “I saved you from a burning church.”

You question what other fantasies this man could probably have because that’s the most absurd thing you’ve ever heard. Your voice somehow remains flat despite the bewilderment when you ask, “Why?”

“Because it’s flashy and dramatic.”

“But if anyone searches it up, they’ll see there haven’t been any… burned churches?”

“You’re such a killjoy.” Kaiser sighs. “It makes it sound mystical.”

“No it doesn’t,” you say, rather flippant about the entire thing. “It makes you sound like a pathological liar.”

“I like your sense of humor.”

“Thanks, but I’m not kidding about this.”

“Then what do you think it should be?” Kaiser asks. Obviously the purpose of this inquiry is to criticize your choice of scenario — even you can anticipate such a predictable move.

You roll your eyes and then look away from him in contemplation. You hadn’t really thought about it, since you don’t do interviews, and therefore you don’t need to concern yourself with hypotheticals on the matter. “Some kind of party, maybe. Post-match celebration?”

“Makes sense,” says Kaiser. “Doesn’t compel me, though. Boring.”

With a hum, you try to imagine what would both appeal to Kaiser and sound realistic. Though he doesn’t seem like the kind of person who’s swayed by practicality. “I went with someone else, but you swept me off my feet so hard, you stole me away from them.”

“I guess it sounds plausible enough while still having an element of fantasy.”

“Is the idea of me liking you the ‘element of fantasy’?”

“Yeah… That’s why I want it.”

You didn’t expect such a response. It has you looking at him weird. You do so often anyway, but now you do it for longer as if trying to glean something. In response Kaiser tells you to take a picture since it’ll last longer. The reply seems extraneous and distracting, and that only makes you feel more suspicious of him, which is weird since you’re not sure what you’re even inferring.

___

Officially it’s your fifth date with Kaiser, unofficially it’s the tenth. This time you’re holding up a frog in your open hands.

He doesn’t know what the point of all the nature-themed outings is — maybe to make him seem down to Earth in the public eye since he’s become notorious for how insufferable he is? Either way he doesn’t care, and he’s not the type to wander at landscapes, but your affinity for ugly animals is kind of cute.

The frog isn’t some special one either. No crazy colors or anything, just a regular green tree frog (according to your expertise). You let it jump onto your palms, since apparently touching their skin is bad for them or something. Kaiser scrutinizes it in distaste, staring down into its big eyes while it croaks. “So you can handle a disgusting amphibian, but you can’t hold hands with me.”

“I see you’re still thinking about that.”

“Well, it was insulting. And besides, it’s never happened to me before.”

“You’re not so bad. I don’t think I’d vomit if we brushed against each other anymore.”

Kaiser seems curious but nonetheless pleased with this development. “Why the change of heart?”

“Because you listen to what I say,” you tell him.

He somehow resists the urge to piss himself laughing at the sound of that. “Your standards are so low. It’s so sad that it’s funny,” he says. Maybe he would’ve dedicated some more time to teasing you over it, but he comes to a realization which immediately lifts his mood. This must mean he’s in your good graces somewhat, and not many people seem to fit there, so that makes Kaiser special to a degree. Right?

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up.”

“Who would’ve thought someone who looks the way you do would come out like this?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I think you were one of those kids who, like, shoved sticks and leaves in mud and called it a potion.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean now?”

Kaiser lets out an annoyed sound, tired of elaborating. “It means I think you’re strange.”

“Hmm, I bet you do,” you say. “There’s a quote I like: ‘It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.’”

“Yeah, and I bet that’s the kind of message you love. What’s it from?”

“Interesting story,” you say. “This is Jiddu Krishnamurti’s most famous quote, but it doesn’t appear in any of his books. Allegedly he said it to some other guy.”

Kaiser blinks and nods, maybe trying to keep a pretense of having the slightest concept of what you’re on about. “Whatever, got it. I can’t remember the last time I read a book of that sort. Maybe I’ll check him out.”

“You don’t seem like you’d be interested in that type of thing,” you say, staring at him as if you’re trying to figure him out.

“Actually, I am. Can you stop taking every chance to insult me?”

“I’m not. At least not on purpose… So, what are your hobbies, anyway? You never told me.”

“I practice. What do you take me for? Well, I read, too, but psychology non-fiction only.”

You furrow your eyebrows at him. “That’s it?”

Kaiser opens his mouth to justify himself even though there’s no need to be defensive — maybe it’s that he feels like he’s lacking in some department after you bring your attention to it with your little response and generally Kaiser hates to be insufficient. But before he can argue and try and talk himself out of whatever perception you have of him now, an interruption happens.

The frog, which had been lazy and content with merely existing in your grasp, springs without any warning. It leaps out of your fingers and lands on top of Kaiser’s head.

Today you learn Michael Kaiser screams at an ear-shattering frequency when he’s startled. Soap opera level of shock and overreaction.

___

It is when you’re eating at a trashy place for lunch that Kaiser’s looking at his phone, which you find rude since you’re supposed to be spending time together and whatnot. He eats like a pig, too, not graceful at all — you wonder what his fans would think if they saw him with crumbs over his mouth and sauce on his chin. Good material for a public embarrassment campaign, you think.

But it’s in that moment that he finally wipes himself with a tissue and reaches out to all but shove his phone in your face. “Look, we’re so hot!”

You grace the picture with a dismissive glance before looking back down at your meal, disinterested. You already know enough about Kaiser to assume he’d get a kick out of power couple fantasies. And other power fantasies. Really, you find it pathetic.

It was something out of the photoshoot he was showing you, his favorite you presume. Even someone like Kaiser, who has conventional features, isn’t perfect when it comes to these unreasonable standards. He’d been way too stiff next to you while he posed and though his face is symmetrical, his expressions tend to stray to one side, and obviously it’d been corrected.

There’s a mismatch between you on the covers and your image in the mirror. Maybe your brain is exaggerating the disconnect, but every time you see them, it’s like staring into an airbrushed, distorted amalgamation. In other words, you prefer avoiding both the edited products and your reflection whenever you can.

“We don’t look like that,” you say, offhand about his enthusiasm as you are with most things.

Kaiser scoffs and then very blatantly tries to compare between whatever version of you he has on his phone and the you in front of him. There’s not a single good thing you can say about his decision — it’s making your skin crawl just knowing it’s what he’s doing.

“Close enough,” he deems after careful examination.

“I don’t think it’s me.”

“It’s quite literally you.”

“I don’t think anything is me. Like I’m just what I see. My perspective, my point of view. You get what I’m saying?”

“No?” Kaiser says, laughing at you and your apparently strange affliction.

“Well if not that, you have to admit things captured on camera aren’t real.”

“What are you talking about,” Kaiser asks in a flat tone, which leaves it as something less than a question. A few more snickers escape him and he’s grinning at you like a bastard — if at first he regarded you as a slightly more fascinating bug than the rest, by now you must be his favorite, the rarest… A tree lobster. “You make no sense.”

“It totally makes sense. Imagine we’re having sex-”

“What kind of stupid come-on is that?”

“It’s not a come-on, I’m explaining. So, imagine we’re having sex-”

“In what position?”

“Whatever you want as long as it works for the scenario. Anyway, imagine we’re having sex-”

Kaiser laughs harder and then attempts some seductive sort of expression which doesn’t land with you. “I’m imagining it,” he informs.

“Shut up and let me get to the point. Imagine we’re having sex and I’m recording it-”

“Wow, I didn’t take you for such a pervert? Not that I hate it.”

“-so I’m looking at you through the camera lens. The phone’s between us. I’m not, like, in the moment with you. My mind’s absent, it’s all digital. So if you think about it we’re not even really having sex.”

“... You’re losing me even more,” Kaiser says after some contemplation, finding the fantasy unpleasant all of a sudden with this new spin to it. A moment passes during which he takes another big, possibly exaggerated bite, but he at least has enough decency to chew and swallow before adding, “I think you just have a problem.”

You roll your eyes, wondering if he even entertained the thought, but shrug since it doesn’t matter in the end. “Why are we always talking about how I’m weird? If anything, you're eccentric, not me.”

Kaiser wrinkles his nose in offense at the notion and makes an incomprehensible hand gesture in the air. “No. I’ve turned out totally normal. Don’t put me at your level.”

A lot of curiosities spin around your head concerning Kaiser’s behavior whenever you meet and you’re yet to find an answer. What does he want? Clearly he’s comfortable with and used to wanting, but what is it? Attention? Money? Fame? Status? All, none? Will it ever be enough? Is it even the kind of hunger which can be satiated?

Who is he when he’s not playing this ridiculous character?

“I can’t get a read on you,” you tell him.

“Well, you’re socially inept. I doubt you can get a read on anyone.”

“So are you.”

Kaiser feigns hurt over this. He does that a lot. Maybe he finds it hilarious, maybe the performance is all for shits and giggles — who knows.

“I want to dissect your head,” you say after a while of silence.

“Really? That’s what you wanna do with me?”

“Mhm. With a scalpel. I’d make an incision around your temple maybe.”

“My beautiful and demented angel, is that your way of saying you wanna get closer to me?” The sentence comes out mocking with a paper thin smile, but there’s a sense of admiration in it. What for? You raise an eyebrow in visible confusion at the… nickname, but Kaiser doesn’t elaborate. To take away from the tension(?), he announces, “You’ve got something stuck between your teeth,” pointing at your mouth all amused.

___

Kaiser had an ulterior motive in accepting that deal. Though wording it this way makes it sound like some calculated, opportunistic, sinister scheme, when in reality it’s nothing beyond immature and a little humiliating.

Of course, in true Kaiser fashion, when looking to meet someone, he goes straight for the most convoluted option. So when the stupid idea came up, he agreed, even if he put on a bit of a show at first and acted irritating. Confessing to wanting friends is so embarrassing. He’d rather shoot himself at point blank or perhaps commit an act of auto-defenestration than admit the real reason for participating, much less in front of you.

Despite the jabs, you’re also not bad at all. Calm and uninvolved in anything that upsets him and without any expectations towards him.

At first he found your indifference derogatory, but as the months have passed by, there’s a sort of comfort in knowing that he could’ve been some random guy off the street and you would’ve probably treated him the same. In front of you he is neither on a pedestal nor someone to be knocked down on his knees. More Michael than he is Kaiser.

Things have been teetering on a dangerous edge lately. His mind is wandering off towards you again, more and more often each day. Like maybe he’s excited for the next time he sees you or something else repulsive in a similar vein, a giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach. Is this what it would’ve been like to be a little boy with a crush?

Generally he prefers not to socialize with background characters. So he doesn’t know why it’s while he’s having some benign daydream about you that some newbie he hadn’t bothered remembering the name of decides to interrupt him. Besides, it’s inconvenient, he was supposed to be leaving and this guy is blocking the changing room door.

“I heard you’re banging a model,” he says, as if they’re good pals or some shit. Kaiser is also mostly immune to annoying locker room talk since all the other psychotic men he knows are too busy being as fanatical as him to waste time on something as useless as objectifying someone to pass the time, yet here this lowlife is.

Kaiser regards him with a judgmental side eye — for a second too long, almost television-style — and tries to move and sidestep him. “Why do you care? Pathetic cuck.”

“Woah, don’t be like that. I just thought it was funny. I’ve heard about that person before, would’ve thought it would be more of a hit it and quit it type thing. Yet here you are, still together.”

The emotion that zaps him is almost disorienting. Kaiser bruises easily, but it’s all about him. There’s never been much room for anyone else in his mentality of suffocating self-absorption, a depressing way to try and compensate for anyone who’s ever wronged him. Right now, though, he’s feeling anger on someone else’s behalf. A borderline exotic situation.

“So I was curious if that thing about loonies being the best at fucking was true? I’m assuming it is ‘cause I don’t know why else you’d stay with a schizoid.”

In the heat of the moment, when he’s pissed off, Kaiser is not the most poetic wordsmith. Thankfully politeness and civility are sensibilities which elude him. Without a second thought or any regret, he makes use of his water bottle still in his hand and dumps the entire contents of it over his head before elbowing him out of the way while he’s still confused.

___

You really don’t want to be having this conversation.

For fuck’s sake, you’re on break. And isn’t that supposed to mean relaxation? Yet the other model for the shoot today has been bugging you with unpleasant questions, putting you on the spot.

“Isn’t he a narcissist, though?” she asks, refusing to let go of the topic no matter how unresponsive you’ve been.

“I guess? Maybe. In a way…”

“You’re sooo… I don’t know. Like, you don’t even sound sure about what you’re telling me.” She narrows her eyes at you, leaning in a bit closer. “Aren’t you scared of him? Or is it ‘cause you’re so sheltered, you don’t know not to mess around with guys like Kaiser?”

Scared of him? It sounds ludicrous. At worst he’s whiny.

“He’s harmless,” you say. “Just a little rude and preoccupied with himself, that’s all. Actually, he’s an interesting and attentive person.”

She covers her mouth and lets out a sound of amusement, apparently now finding you more convincing and therefore dropping her worries. “He was saying you guys are suuuuuuuper in love with an interview.”

Not too engaged with the topic — since it’s about whatever lies Kaiser told the interviewer to entertain himself — you ask, “Is that what he was saying?”

“Yep. Didn’t you watch?”

“No.”

“Fine. Maybe he’s ‘interesting and attentive.’ I mean, I don’t believe it, but whatever. What about you, though? Do you like him, let alone love him? Can you even like anyone? I mean, shit, you know how you are. So, like, can you? Are you suuuuuuuper in love?”

You avert your eyes. “Yes,” you say. It’s true. You do like Kaiser well enough, probably more than you should. “And stop making assumptions about him and me.”

“What if I don’t stop? What are you gonna do?”

That’s… A very good question because there’s nothing you can do at the moment. Seems like a good opportunity to weaponize your reputation of being a deranged serial killer. “I’ll lick your eyebrows.”

You don’t know if your delivery is persuasive or not, but the idea you’d do such a thing must come off as believable enough because she makes a strange face before backing off.

___

You despise being in situations. And making decisions.

There’s a stupid PR meeting again. Your manager, who you think should move onto writing trashy novellas instead of administering poison to your career just because his imagination is overactive, proposed a new stunt. With the fake relationship running its course, you were discussing ways to publicize the ‘break up’ and he suggested a cheating scandal. Not to mention his great idea had you as the cheater — you swear he’s praying on your downfall at this point.

Maybe because you’ve been treated as some kind of fucked up creature incapable of thought and trustworthy decisions, something insentient, you would’ve went along with it like always. Even though you know you’d look bad, the point is to make noise, and it would be a scandalous story if not anything else. Another indignity doesn’t matter much on an endless list.

Then Kaiser in true Kaiser fashion declared that he wants to keep the relationship going. To you, such an act of flippant defiance is unthinkable.

But obviously this forces you into a position where you need to pick between your options. They’re all staring at you, waiting. Kaiser is smiling at you from across his seat like you’re in on a joke with him. Anxious, you say, “I’ll think about it,” and stand up to leave.

You’re sweating because somewhere within you wanna announce ‘Yeah, I wanna keep seeing Michael Kaiser,’ but it’s so preposterous.

Kaiser doesn’t chase after you (though it’d be his style to do such a thing solely for the drama), but he catches up to you by the time you make it outside of the building, approaching the parking lot.

“Hey. Hey! Hey, stop ignoring me. Heeeeeeey.”

God he is such an annoying pest sometimes. You turn around to face him, snapping, “What?! What was that about anyway?”

“No, what’s with you? What is there to think about? You don’t want to look like a clown in front of the world, do you?”

You’re looking at Kaiser again like you’re trying to figure out a mystery. He always wants things, but what does he want from you? There has to be a reason for this. Otherwise, he should’ve been fine with the separation instead of trying to prolong it.

“Listen,” says Kaiser, a little apprehensive at your silence and expressionless gaze, “I can tell you barely tolerate your shitty job and that you probably don’t like the moronic idea your anthropomorphized cyst of a manager came up with, so why aren’t you protesting it?”

Those are objective enough observations. However, “Anthropomorphized cyst…?”

“You’re changing the subject,” Kaiser huffs, irked. “And by the way the fake meek act isn’t cute at all. They’re making money off of you. Tell them to fuck off and die and stop acting like a hostage.”

“This is very inspirational and all, Kaiser, but how about you tell me why you wanna keep the fake relationship going?”

“Doesn’t matter. If you don’t want that either, you can say we’ll settle for ending it instead of-”

You cross your arms. “Again, your attempts at a pep talk are adorable and appreciated, but you’re changing the subject now.”

“They’re not adorable. I’m right. Say I’m right.”

“Fine, fine, you’re right,” you relent with a roll of your eyes.

Kaiser smiles snidely and clasps his hands behind his back. “Thanks,” he says in a sarcastic tone. Then you expect him to entertain your question, but he doesn’t, leaving you in an uncomfortable staredown against him and his stupid ‘beautiful glowing blue orbs’ ass eyes.

“Answer me,” you demand.

“Your unpleasant personality and reclusive ways have bewitched me.”

…

…

“… What?”

“I won’t repeat myself,” Kaiser says with too much attitude considering the situation. Like, he just spoke out one of the most absurd sentences you’ve ever heard.

“Do you have a brain tumor?”

The outrageous suggestion makes him scoff. “Really? You think I need a brain tumor to like you?”

“Maybe,” you say. “Should’ve let me operate on you when I offered.”

“You’re mentally disturbed,” he replies like the fact turns him on or something.

“So were you asking me out or what?”

“Yes? No? Yes. Yeah, fine, I am.”

“Do you search up ‘personality’ on porn sites?”

“Come on, be serious. I mean what I’m saying and I want to give things between us a try. Do you?”

You cringe as if admitting your feelings or overall being in touch with them in the first place is a physically painful sensation, but in your defense you think you might throw up. “Yeah… Yeah, okay, I’ll tell him tomorrow. My manager, I mean.”

Kaiser swings an arm around your shoulders, visibly pleased with the way this is all going. He sings, “That’s the spirit.”

What had he wanted from you? Affection and care, apparently. You think back on when you’d called him ‘disgusting’ and a foreign guilt overcomes you since you don’t usually lament the remarks you make during your misanthropic hissy fits.

Is it fine for someone such as yourself to also indulge in wanting? Hesitant, with shaky arms, you embrace him around the middle, the gentlest of hugs. Kaiser freezes for a moment as if he’s unsure what to do when he’s not the one initiating things, but eventually returns the gesture. Melts into it, even. Two existences brushing against one another, at first glance contrary yet perhaps similar in many ways.

When you finally pull away from each other little by little, Kaiser says, “Let’s elope now.”

You sigh. “You sure have a way of making everything sound way more exciting than it is.”

(He drives you back to your place, but still sucks at driving. Chivalrously, he avoids crashing the car, though.)

___

Yall I was drinking light yellow tap water for a few daysdo you think somethings gonna happen to me ?

Btw I hate this but it's finally finished after like around a month so whatever lol I' M FREE

[icarusredwings]

Scent. 1/2

Sfw, Primal scenting, established poolverine, countryside comedy, angst, and fluff. Wade gets smothered in front of the fireplace by a big domestic wolverine because of his self-confidence issues.

Post Save a horse/Ride a wolverine

Requested by @asaturnerofficial

Somewhere in Texas, On a small plot ranch with only a handful of chickens and 2 horses. One is a pony, actually. Her name was Buttercream, and she used to do kids' parties. She just kinda came with the house, and so did the chickens, but Cupcake (who was, in fact, a gelding, named by Wade) was bought off a different rancher who claimed he couldn't be ridden. Well- that was apparently a huge lie because Cup allowed him to ride him every now and again. Maybe it was a scent thing.

Actually, Scent was very important in this house, and it was something Logan checked each night before bed. Sniff around the property and shoo off any animals that didn't belong. He didn't mind the Co-yotes they just were trying to live as much as anything else, but it made him nervous to think about what they might do to the chickens or hell - to Mary Puppins. They would eat her for a snack and still be peckish.

"Alright, I fed the chickens, fed buttercream cupcake, fed puppins, now what do- Woah! Jesus's mother, Mary Magdalene!"

He had just walked into the living room to see Logan laid out on a rug in nothing but his iconic wife beater, some worn in-in all the right places- jeans, and his boots. He had got the fire place working I guess because there it was, heating up the home.

"I dont think its really a good idea to have a fire place inside of house made of wood but what do I know? Im not OSHA certified." He said, of course, to the wall.

Rolling his eyes, Logan was far used to this by now, chuckling a bit. "I got it workin' "

"Yeah I see. I was just talking about that."

"I saw. Who are you talking to anyway?" For once this question was genuine instead of condescending.

"Oh, you know. The viewers. Readers. Whatever you wanna call them." Again, he turns and waves. "Hi. Also- where did he get a bear skin rug? This guy. Ruining the budget. Do you know how expensive bears are?"

Having seen this a billion times, he's learned to just go with it. "Viewers...? Like.. a reality tv show?"

"Kind of. And let me just say, This?" He put his hands out like he was taking a picture. "Is beautiful. You're going to make the ratings sky rocket! Think of what this will do for your PR!"

"Right.. well. I hate to break the.. viewers.. little hearts but this isn't a bear skin. What bears do you know that have black and white spots?"

"Pandas."

Blinking, He sat up. "Wade, this is the middle of texas. Where do you think im going to find a panda?"

"The zoo." He shrugs, watching his boyfriend laugh at him, rolling his eyes.

"So you think the zoo is just going to let me take one of their pandas and skin it for my livingroom?"

"Oh. Yeah, that's a bit of a streach for the budget, isn't it? What is it then?- GAASSP- Don't tell me it's puppies!!"

"What?" (He's found himself saying this about 50 times a day now when living with him, possibly 100) "It's cow.."

"Oooh! Okay- that would have been a deal breaker. I can deal with skinning an endangered species, but I draw the line at Cruella activities."

"So are you just gonna keep talking to that wall, or are you gonna come're?" He muttered, smirking some as he made a small squeal, rushing over to sit down.

The scent of cheap dollar store foundation made him cringe, his mood and demeter changing instantly. "What did I tell you about wearin' that shit.."

Tensing up, he smiled awkwardly, putting his hands in his lap as he looked away. "It's the 21st century, Wolvie, Men wear make up now."

"No. You know damn well that's not what I meant. Come here." Before he could even begin to protest, he grabbed him by the belt, a signature, pulling him into his arms only to flip him on the floor.

"Eeehh!! Peanut, seriously, it's fine! It's just makeup! I didn't even put my mascara on!"

"Im taking that shit off of you. It stinks!" He growled, now straddling him on top of the soft cow rug.

Squirming a bit, Wade was trying to push him off but it was hard to do that when your boyfriend was so heavy, having just started to get back to a healthy weight, healing his relationship with food and his appearance. It only reminded him how much he loved having him. Oh, his big beefy boy. Usually, he would enjoy being manhandled, but he worked hard on his blending today!

"Noo! Do you know how hard it is to cover all THIS up!?"

"Exactly my point. That's why it's coming off. It doesn't NEED covered up, moron!" Pulling off his shirt, both the view and the words put Wade into somewhat of a dormant state.

"You really mean th- Ahh!! Hey! No! You tricked me with nice words!" He protested as he used the shirt to wipe it off, spitting on it and rubbing cirlces to get it off of him. It was times like these when Wade realized that Logan COULD actually hurt him if he wanted too. Then again.. Trapped under a bronzed muscly man like him?

Glory, glory, what a hell of a way to die!

"What are you talking about?"

Oh shit- he hadn't noticed that he said this out loud. "Nothing!! I just - Why do you always have to ruin my makeup!? What are you jealous or something?" He turned to the side, away from him. "Oh, let's be honest. It would be a crime to cover up that face."

"I could say the same thing about you, Bub." He muttered, wiping off the last bit off his neck, holding it as he leaned down to sniff him, still cringing.

"Gross."

This word alone was enough to audibly hear Wade's heart snap. Swallowing as his throat tightened and put his arms over his face.

Oh shit.. that wasn't the best of word to say, was it? God, why was this so hard? This is why he grunted instead of spoke. Words were too complicated.

A pang in his chest ran deep, his own heart clenching as he heard him whimper.

"That's.. That's why I do it.."

"Oh, Wade.." You'd have to be deaf to not hear the tears in his voice, visibly upset and nowhere to run off too, nothing to hide with. He was trapped. The next option was to push him away, Hit him in the chest so he'd let go. Know that he was done playing. That this was serious.

"You know that! So W-why would you -"

He kissed him, holding both sides of his face. Despite the pushing still lasting, it quickly died down as he wrapped his arms around his neck.

Pulling away only when the air in their lungs ran out, He smirked again, breaths heavy.

"Now, if I thought you were so terrible, would I do that? Hm?"

"Y-yes.."

So he kissed him again, this time giving a little growl into it the way he liked it, causing him to giggle and push his face away, turning again.

"Who is this starving man? Where is my wolverine?"

"Right here, baby. All me." He says, looking to where he was too.

"Hey, you can't talk to them! They're mine!"

"Too bad. So what's the census? My PR or what ever you call it up yet?"

"I don't know.."

"Oh sure, you do. It's your show, isn't it?" He asks, turning him to look at him as he crosses his arms, looking away again, still upset with him.

"... It's our show, actually...Deadpool AND Wolverine... sometimes featuring Dogpool, but that's besides the point! Im thinking about cutting you... you're taking up too much budget."

"Oh, am I now? Well, maybe you'd have more budget if you ditched that stinky shit."

Wade went silent for a moment, stalling to tell him what Logan already knew.

"Ooh... Ratings drop when you're you... don't they?" Right. That made so much more sense. Wilson has taken his own negative thoughts and categorized them into show manager and critic positions. And the critics didn't like him bare faced.

"Well... What if we raised ratings or whatever way up? Without all that bullcrap?"

"Do you know how hard it would be to-"

A third kiss.

"You really should learn to shut up, mouth."

[cheriladycl01]

Fast Cars on the Island - Oscar Piastri x LoveIslandContestant! Reader Part 4

Plot: Your an engineer for Mclaren and you were asked as a PR stunt to go onto Love Island. You would keep your job of course but Mclaren wanted some more media traction.

A/N: I know they would never do this, and that's why its fiction!

Around the fire pit:

“Oh god I’m so nervous? They didn’t say genders or anything” Zavi cries looking towards you as the boys start to take their seats.

“What do you think it will be?” Charlie asks you and you shrug, having no idea how the producers would sway it. Two boys, two girls or a boy and a girl. Whatever they did at this point would stir up some kind of drama.

“I’m not sure, but I think it will probably be one of each” you hand him a small smile.

“I think you might be right Y/N” Aaron smiles at you before getting some nods from the other girls.

“It just makes the most logical sense to me, and then that way it still is the girls choice” you smile nodding.

“Why am I so nervous!” Millie exclaims shaking your shoulders a little. She sits next to Daniel who wraps an arm around her shoulder.

After more conversing, the sound of the sliding glass doors to the Villa make all your heads turn seeing a guy and girl walk out through the curtains.

“Hey!” the girl cheerily smiles with a little wave.

“Sup” the guy next to her cheekily smiles before making their way over to the fire pit.

“Hiya! Omg it’s so exciting to have you here! Please introduce yourself!” Auriela gestures for them to take seats around the fire pit.

The guy sits in between Aaron and Zavi, whilst Chelsea sits in between you and Chris.

“I’m Max, I’m 26 and I work as a secondary school maths teacher” the guy smiles and your head snaps to him in shock, with a small giggle. You could imagine all of his students finding out he was in love island and teasing the hell out of him for it.

“Im Chelsea I’m 25 and I’m a Tattoo Artist” she offers and you all nod.

You all talk, getting to know the two newbies whilst still finding stuff out about the current contestants.

Two phones ping simultaneously from Max and Chelsea making you all nervously fidget. You knew from having watched the show that it would be the two new islanders either choosing dates or the public choosing them dates.

“Max, please get ready for two dates tonight chosen by public choice. You’ll have your main course with Millie and your dessert with Y/N” he reads out the text and you look up in shock.

Were the public trying to make your life harder than it already was in this Villa. You weren’t ready for the drama that would most likely unfold.

“Chelsea please get ready for two dates tonight chosen by public choice. You’ll have your main course with Aaron and your dessert with Charlie” Chelsea reads out.

And with that you watched as Millie left with Max and Chelsea left with Aaron for their first dates. You immediately walked over to Daniel to comfort him.

“Hey, look I know it’s not fun” you sigh patting his back and he looks down.

“Is it bad of me to admit I’m more worried about going home this early on than possibly loosing Millie?” He jokes but you know what he means, people who went out this early on never felt like that had a full shot.

“I get that, and I think you being a lot to the Villa Daniel, despite it being night one i can see a friend in you that extends to outside this villa” you smile at him.

“Yeah me too” he nods.

“Look, you deserve to stay in if Millie gets chosen AND Aaron gets chosen by Chelsea. I’ll pick you any day of the week” you smile at him nudging his side teasingly, but he has a serious look on his face.

“Thank you Y/N seriously!” He says pulling you into a hug.

Lando and Oscar:

“Woah, talk about bombshells” Lando says chewing on a sweet that Oscar had brought over to his hotel room. It had became a weekly Sunday thing for them after races to watch you on the TV. It was kind of a weird feeling seeing you in these kinds of places and in this way when they were used to you in team gear around the paddock looking at data or fixing the car.

“Who do you recon they’ll end up with?” Oscar asks.

“What the newbies?” Lando replies finally taking his eyes of the screen. Oscar just nods letting Lando know that is what he meant.

“I recon Chelsea will choose Aaron and then Max will choose Millie, and Y/N is the type to go back on her word so she’ll end up with Daniel and both get to Casa Amore together if they have too” Lando explains as if he is an expert.

“Interesting” Oscar admits, only thinking of Casa Amore, when 4 new islanders for each gender came to the villa.

Back at the Villa:

It was time for your date with Max and both you and Charlie walked out the Villa together before turning in separate directions.

You walked up to a little gazebo with foliage and fairy lights around it, it was a really nice set up and you couldn’t help but feel lucky to have a date in such a nice area.

Throwing yourself into your career meant that you didn’t really have time to experience all the countries you got to see with someone else. It was always you alone.

“This is really nice” you smile to him.

“Yeah i wish I could take credit for it but definitely can’t” he laughs and you guys end up having a really good night. You ask him about teaching only to find out his students had no idea he’d come into the tv show.

And before you know it, it’s time to go back.

You were all sat around the campfire apart from Chelsea and Max who were stood next to each other ready to choose.

“I’m choosing this guy because he was really genuine and sweet on our date and I can see myself progressing furthest with him as of right now. We connected a lot on the date and I believe he is the right choice”

“The boy i would like to couple up with is Aaron” Chelsea finishes and Aaron begrudgingly goes to stand next to her after sharing small eye contact with you.

Max goes next a smile on his face.

“So the girl I want to couple up with, made me feel like we had a connection straight away. Talking to her was so natural and I felt like this is the right choice. I’m not normally one to step on people’s toes but it’s a really different environment in here and I’ve come at a really difficult point of the show”

“So the girl I have chosen to couple up with is Millie” he smiles and Millie looks down but you can tell she is smiling and blushing. You caught eyes with Daniel who didn’t look to put of by the situation. He nods to you, communication of what you’d do at the recoupling now it had swung the way you thought it would.

You were slightly gutted that Aaron was now coupled up and it felt like you two were never actually going to have a chance together.

You heard was all over the place, was this still just PR or were you actually wanting to find someone in here … and was that someone Aaron.

“Okay, in this order from yesterdays challenge the girls will pick who they want to couple up with. Auriela, Zavi, and Y/N” the presenter says and Auriela stands up.

“So I’ve been coupled up with this guy from the start and I want to see where things go as we’ve been having loads of fun getting to know one another, we have loads in common and I can’t wait to see where this goes. The boy id like to couple up with is Chris” Auriela smiles.

Zavi stands up next, looking a little nervous.

“So I want to couple up with this boy because our chats in the Villa lately have seriously changed my opinion on him. He’s really sweet and caring and I don’t think he was given a proper first chance so the boy id like to couple up with is …” she pauses as if she’s debating what she’s going to do.

“Charlie” and gasps come around, no one having expected her to have gone with him.

Lando and Oscar:

“NO WAY! That’s crazy! I thought she was going to stay with that Jai” Oscar exclaims.

“Dude you could tell with those conversations they were having yesterday they were getting it on” Lando chuckles taking a sip of his Red Bull.

“I thought they were just getting to know each other!” Oscar explains to him, not having seen the longing eyes shared or the flirty undertones.

“And that my friend is why you got nowhere with Y/N when she was here” Lando teases, and it was supposed to be a joke but they both knew there was some truth behind that.

Back in the Villa:

“Okay it’s time for our final girl, to choose who she will end up with. Very strange circumstance for you Y/N” the presenter says as you stand up at the front.

“Yeah it’s been an interesting one that’s for sure. And I think I haven’t fully been able to make connections yet which is a shame and I want to be stable going into the next recoupling after this and I think discussions were held before about what I was going to do depending on the outcome of Max and Chelsea’s choices, this is a game and I have to be strategic so the boy id like to couple up with is Daniel” you smile and he comes up to you, to finally stand next to you and kisses your temple.

“Thank you” he whispers and you just smile and nod.

“I always keep my promises” you smile tugging on his arm in a friendly way.

You all start to say goodbye to Jai, sad that one of the original islanders was gone before heading off to your new sleeping arrangements.

“Night islanders” Charlie shouts as he cuddles Zavi from the back grinning like a school boy before he pulls her down and under the covers.

A chorus of replies cross the room before the lights dim for the night.

You and Daniel quietly talk to each other about the day, trying not to disturb your fellow islanders before sleep finds the both of you.

Lando and Oscar:

“I’m guess what she does within McLaren will come out soon… PR have a close eye on this, for obvious reasons” Oscar observes making Lando laugh.

“Yeah I’m pretty sure they’d have a field day if she started having sex on camera while being under the McLaren name. PR nightmare” Lando chuckles but it makes Oscar freeze.

He forgot how raunchy the dating show could be, and he couldn’t help but he jealous of anyone on the show who got even the tiniest bit closer to that than he ever did.

“The headlines would ruin her” Oscar agrees with a shudder whilst they continue to watch on as the credits roll for this weekends episode.

A/N: A lot of people are suggesting Oscar go into the Villa and he will, but … only when the time is right :)

Also sorry I haven’t posted on a while, going from being on holiday to the chaos of moving into a new house I haven’t had much time lately.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[dira333]

Choose yourself too - Itoshi Rin x Reader

Note: Soulmarks only appear after you pick/choose each other

requested by @shoulmate

"Do you have a soulmark?"

"I will not answer that."

Someone in the back of the room, someone groans.

His PR Manager rolls his eyes so hard they might get stuck that way but Rin hasn't made it this far in his career by being a people pleaser.

"With all due respect," the impertinent interviewer starts again, "Your relationship status has been vague at best for the last years. Your fans are longing for information and we feel that they deserve-"

"They deserve it?" Rin's looking at her now, hopes his eyes portray every single drop of hatred he feels for this woman. "Do you have a soulmark?"

"That's- That's private!" She rushes to defend herself.

"Ah, so you do understand that term? I will not answer that question and that's that. I'm here to play soccer not to answer questions about whether or not I'm still available. Which I'm not."

"I'm still single," Bachira pipes in from his left, directing all attention back to him. The tension in the room dissipates within moments of him chattering away.

-x-

"Long day?" You ask when he steps inside your shared apartment.

"You have no idea," Rin answers, letting his temple sink against your shoulder for a moment. He can feel himself recharge from touch alone.

"Watched your interview," you mumble, your breath moving the hairs in the nape of his neck. He shivers and your hand finds the spot, circling warm and safe over his exposed skin. You always know what he needs. He wishes he could say the same about himself.

From down the hallway, a gurgling sound alerts his attention.

"Go," you tell him, stepping aside to let him through, "Dinner's ready in ten."

-

"Hey little monster," he greets as he pushes the door fully open. His daughter's lying on her back, turquoise eyes locked on the mobile above her head, the little soccer balls dancing in the air. She waves her hands when he lifts her out of her bed and drools on his shirt with a confidence Isagi could only wish for.

"How are we feeling today?" Rin asks the little monster, chuckling when she almost hits him in the nose, "That great? Amazing. Mom's made dinner, you're hungry?"

She farts and he's quietly laughing now at her antics.

"What did I do to deserve you?" He asks her quietly when she's managed to grasp his thumb, sucking on it as if she's hoping for milk.

I tickles a little where he can feel her first teeth coming out. It tingles when she gnaws on the tiny soulmark. He has only one. Yet.

-x-

His head is resting heavy in your lap, his daughter sleeping soundly on his chest.

It could be a perfect evening if not for his restless mind.

Rin lifts his left hand, looks at the tiny mark on his thumb. It's a monster, the same oddly shaped lump he would draw as a child. He knows it resembles his daughter because he knows he chose her. Ever since the day he knew she existed.

"Do you want me to check again?" You ask. Your voice is soft and he can hear your book close, can feel your hand find its way into his hair. "Maybe I missed it last time..."

"I'm sure you didn't." He says even though it hurts him. Because he chose you, years ago and every day since, has even the ring to prove it, yet there's no sign of the mark he longs for the most.

But you have one, oddly placed on your chest, just a little left of your heart, the color of his eyes.

"Rin," you whisper, leaning down to press a kiss against his temple, "I know you love me. I don't need a spot on your skin to prove it to me. Although I think it would only be fair if it appeared on your ass or something similarly pathetic."

He can feel his lips quirk up into a smile. That's the effect only you can have on him. And your daughter, but that's just genetics at play.

"Maybe," you hum, "You need to choose yourself too. Accept yourself for who you are."

-x-

It takes him one more year, a heavy loss and therapy, but Rin makes it.

He can look into the mirror now without hesitation, can look at his flaws and his strengths and say, as honest as he's ever been: "This is me. I like me the way I am. But I'm still improving. Just watch me."

"Boop," his daughter makes in the bathtub, pressing her finger against his abdomen. She laughs, mouth wide open. "Boop," she makes again.

He picks her up and cradles her against his chest, filled with warmth and happiness, especially when you fall into their laughter.

"Hey," you suddenly say, "Did you notice that?"

"Huh?" He asks, lowering the little monster back into the warm water. "What do you mean?"

"You've got a spot there." You point to where he'd just been booped.

There, in the color of your eyes, is a soulmark.

[ventismacchiato]

🎬 stuck with you !

a social media idol au | scaramouche x gender neutral reader

synopsis after the disaster that was the live award show, where you and scaramouche got into an argument on stage after both of your groups got a tie for top artists, your guys' PR teams have been in shambles trying to scrape up your mess. that's when the idea to send you both off with some other idols to a remote location for a survival dating show to mend your public image comes up. before you know it your bags are packed and you’re on a plane to a remote island. the only obligation is you need to end up with scaramouche at the end of the show, whether you end up liking him or not doesn’t matter to your managers as long as the show’s ratings stay high. whatever you do in between to get there is up to you!

Idols Inferno

Finding love in itself is a rollercoaster on its own, but it’s even harder when you’re an idol. How do idols find the time to perform and find a lifelong partner? The short answer is they don’t!

We bring you an exclusive dating show with your favorite top idols, including Y/N, Scaramouche, Barbatos, Lumine, Aether, Yoimiya, Kazuha, Ajax, and Alatus to name a few!

All your favorite top idols will be shipped off to a private island, where they’ll partake in many challenges and have the opportunity to woo one another. Amongst this they will be left with limited amenities and must fend for themselves.

Hosted by Yae Miko! New Episodes every Friday on Netflix

genre enemies to lovers, celebrity au, fake dating, dating show inspired by singles inferno

status ongoing, no update schedule

warnings time stamps don’t matter, alcohol consumption, mentions of weed, mommy issues, eventual smut

taglist CLOSED!

extra might need usernames for the fans so lmk if i can use yours!

↳ playlist

NOW PLAYING!

starring…

↳ y/n and windblume | scaramouche and delusi❖n

ACT ONE: never settle!

PROLOGUE

O1. the girls are fighting

O2. dream blunt rotation

O3. pr team in shambles

O4. screaming and fighting

O5. strawberry bong

O6. crash course on how to not be an idiot

O7. don’t embarrass me motherfucker

O8. im on top (of you)

8.5 idols inferno

O9. mile high club

1O. sand in my ass

ACT TWO: fake it till you make it!

11. five feet apart

12. kiss kiss fall in love

13. it’s a cruel summer with you

14. wikihow how to make a fire

15. im so obsessed with your ex

16. jealousy, jealousy

17. see you in paradise

18. poolside shenanigans

19. ride home was silent

20. you’re a symphony, i’m just a sour note

ACT THREE: i choose you!

21. why why why

extra headcanons

tba

ROLL THE CREDITS!

author's notes: the title card came out sick i’m ngl and have you guys seen singles inferno i’m a whore for that show 🤭 there’s gonna be three soloists added into the show later to spice things up but i won’t say who yet! update: kinda wanna write this to get the scara out of my system