#I will potentially post it later if I hear back from them soon

[acourtofthought]

Hey, just popping in with some thoughts! Based on your post last.

So, I totally get the frustration with the whole Elain/Lucien situation, but I feel like the argument that "because Elain said so" isn’t a valid reason kinda misses the point? Like… that’s actually a very important reason! Just because something is a major trope (angsty rejected mates, slow burn suffering, etc.) doesn’t mean SJM has to explore it every single time. Maybe the whole point is that Elain gets to choose, even when the universe tries to shove her into a predetermined path. 👏 Girl. Has. Agency. 👏

And honestly? Not every story needs a full-blown love triangle or 500 pages of emotional turmoil. Maybe SJM just doesn’t think an Elain/Lucien romance serves the larger narrative. We already know mating bonds don’t have to be romantic, so maybe Elain’s arc isn’t about tragic rejection but about defining love on her own terms. Revolutionary, I know.

Also, why do we assume Lucien has to be central to Elain’s story? His whole journey with Vassa/Jurian and his identity crisis (Beron’s kid? Helion’s kid? Future High Lord???) is a lot, and maybe that’s his story, not one tied to Elain’s decisions. If SJM is holding off on Lucien/Elain, it could be intentional because she’s setting him up for something else.

All that said, if Maas completely ignores the bond without any meaningful resolution, then yeah, wasted potential. But maybe, just maybe, the point is that fate isn’t the final word on love. 💖

Curious to hear your thoughts! 🫶

This feels a bit like a copy and past messages because none of my recent posts dealt with what your referring to. It also seem you've either accidentally stumbled upon the wrong page since I'm clearly Pro Elucien or you're baiting, which I hope not.

However, the tone of the message was friendly enough so I'll definitely respond and tell you all about how I disagree.

I'm going to tackle one of your later points, "why do we assume Lucien has to be central to Elain's story."

Because Sarah has literally laid out Lucien's future journey for us while simultaneously laying out Elain's future journey while simultaneously laying out Az and Gwyn's future journey's and the journey's only line up when we're considering certain pairings. Elain was not part of the crossover in anyway, shape or form. She has never once been connected to time travel, been mentioned as being interested in time travel, had nothing to do with learning the history of Prythian. But Az was written to be interested in those things, was written to find out about the Asteri from other planets, was written as staring after the orb Bryce showed them even after it disappeared (just like Lucien was written as staring across the continent as if setting his sights on Koschei), and was written as learning about the history of their world when he was with Bryce. The only one of his possible love interests that was written as having done research on the past and time travel is.....(drum roll please), Gwyn! Not to mention Gwyn is a Valkyrie and SF told us Cassian and Az planned on continuing their training whereas Az never onced offered to help Elain train her powers.

As far as Lucien, he is now PERMANENTLY stationed in Spring. He is friends with Vassa who is soon to be called back to Koschei, he met Elain's father and with the retcon in SF of when he met up with him should now be aware of what bargain her father made. He's also the only male who can tell Elain what the last days of being around her father were like. In ACOWAR, Elain was given visions of Vassa and Koschei, in SF, she was written as being made for Spring, as having her scent linger like a promise of Spring, she was written to look like she had the life sucked out of her in NC black, was constantly sitting at the sunniest windows and said herself that what she needed was sunshine, while Sarah wrote her losing the color her face had gained once winter set into the NC. (Spring and Day don't seem to have winter!). Also, Elain and Lucien are mates and no matter what you think will happen the text specifically tells us the bond will ALWAYS TRAIL ELAIN FOR THE REST OF HER EXISTENCE. That's a long time. No matter what, Lucien will always hold some part of her and she him.

The question is not why Lucien has to be central to Elain's story, it's how could anyone not realize he is going to be Elain's story forever, no matter what her decision is.

As far as your whole choice argument, this is an author who loves fated mates, who feels that from the very first moment she laid eyes on her husband she knew he was the one. Was that a choice or something that felt like destiny? And Sarah has written Elain and Lucien, from the moment they laid eyes on one another, as knowing that they were mates. Now this is a book so of course it has to be a roller coaster before the HEA but I have no idea why you'd think an author would prefer to write about mates rejecting one another, knowing they'll always feel a draw to one another (even though the authors has written them as being absolutely perfect and extremely compatible for one another and you're lying if you pretend otherwise) all to say "but choice is so much more important than fate or destiny even if that choice says he hasn't thought of you beyond his sexual fantasies and didn't give you credit for the king and doesn't think you could handle the trove but thinks your sister can). If choice was more important than destiny than Frodo would have never destroyed the ring because he definitely would have preferred being back in his hobbit hole many times on his journey.

Elain has had nothing but choice when it comes to whether she decides to be with Lucien because he hasn't forced a single thing on her.

This particular author literally told us Elain chose Lucien. How she thought he'd always be with Nesta until she realized that they'd worsen one anothers wounds but then Elain took BOTH Sarah and Lucien by surprise. Elain's character spoke to Sarah, she literally told the author what her story would be then Sarah just went and added the drama.

It seems you believe Elain doesn't have some sort of say in who she ends up with and it'll be more powerful to break free of that so she can "pick who she wants" when she's clearly been free to do whatever the hell she wants over the last two years. She literally begged Graysen to still love her. But not once in those two years has she chosen to reject the guy who you are so convinced she doesn't want and yes, though Elain does not owe Lucien her body or time, she does owe him a formal rejection because they are linked and you and I and everyone in this fandom knows that. Author's don't have characters like Elain leave characters like Lucien in a weird limbo two years without having a real conversation with him if she's always known the plan is for Elain to reject him without ever interacting so you can bet your ass Elain's book is going to have a whole lotta Lucien.

And you're right, not every story needs pages upon pages of a love triangle and that's why Sarah wrote Elain returning Az's necklace then never again looking his way in the 4/ 5 months after Solstice. E/riels setup is over and Sarah can now focus on the true romantic arc of Elain's character which has always been Lucien and their bond. Az will be ok though because he's already got admiration and amusement going on for another girl.

[astraltoon]

Hey all, I work night shift and I barely made it through. Had a panic attack immediately after getting home, still dealing with symptoms from that while I type this.

Fight, in what ever way you can, even if it's just staying alive. They want to exterminate us, do not let them win.

Remember how we got these rights in the first place. Try to find your community and do what you can do to help, even if it's small. Even if all you do is cause a scene before getting taken away, you could inspire generations to come to fight for what's right. If you have to hide away and all you can do is help from the sidelines, spread awareness in any form, donate to orgs, etc., it's still help.

The future will be rough, but it has yet to be written. I know how many of you are feeling hopeless right now but that's exactly what they want. They want this to be easy, don't let it be.

Support hotlines

Click for Palestine

[leashybebes]

i was yapping at @sazzynatural about my hurdle headcanon and then my hand slipped and now here we are, i guess!

tweaked a little and posted on ao3 [here]. thanks, y'all!

"Hey, Evan?"

"Yeah?" Buck calls, from where he's checking through his cupboards, making a shopping list. Tommy doesn't respond immediately and he turns back from where he's surveying the spice rack to look at him. "What's up?"

Tommy has that fond look on his face that, as far as Buck is concerned, might as well just be what his face looks like. The way that Tommy looks at him lights him up inside. He doesn't think anyone has ever looked at him that way, the way that he catches Tommy looking, so soft and endeared, like just looking at Buck makes him happy. It's - 

"I love you."

Buck's heartbeat roars in his ears. 

"Y-you - um. What? No, wait, I mean. I heard you. Tommy, that's - "

"Evan." He still looks fond, and that should be impossible, because Buck is screwing up, he has ring-side seats to this, is actively watching himself screw up, and Tommy's still looking at him like - like that. "Stop spiraling. You don't need to say it back, I just wanted you to - "

"No, no, it's not - uh - I, uh. I said I'd meet Maddie for coffee during her shift and if I don't leave now I'm gonna be late, so I, um. C-can we talk about this later? O-over dinner, maybe?"

Tommy's shoulders slump a little at that. "Uh. Sure. If you like."

"Uh-huh, yeah, that'd be great, I'll be back, don't uh - don't go anywhere, I won't be long, I just really - really need to get that coffee with Maddie, I can't be late but uh - that's - that's great, Tommy."

He sees Tommy's eyebrows go up, sees him mouth great, and then he's out the door.

Oh, shit.

***

The drive to dispatch goes in a blur, and he must look pretty freaked out because as soon as Maddie sees him, she quickly finishes her call and drags him into the breakroom.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"I - I thought we could get coffee," Buck says lamely, and she gives him the big sister eyebrows. "Really," Buck says a bit frantically. "Can - can we have coffee?"

Maddie rolls her eyes, but she pours them both a coffee and hands him his, putting the table between them and leaning against it.

"I have fifteen minutes. Talk."

"Tommy said he loves me," Buck blurts.

"Buck, wow. That's amazing." Maddie's eyes widen at him over her coffee cup. "Wait. Not amazing?"

"I didn't - uh. I didn't say it back?" Buck says, and feels his heart sink. 

"Wait, you didn't?" Maddie tilts her head, looks honestly baffled. Which - fair. Buck is a little obsessed. "Do you - not?"

Of course I do, Buck thinks. How could I not?

"I - I'm being intentional," Buck says, and it sounds hollow already. "I don't wanna rush it and I had like - a timeline."

"Did - did you tell him about the timeline?"

"N-not in so many words," Buck admits.

"Evan! Please tell me you didn't just run out on the poor guy," Maddie pleads, over the sound of the breakroom door opening again. Buck doesn't even care about a potential audience, he's so suddenly miserable at the way he left Tommy at the loft.

"I - I didn't run," he says although - it was probably a close thing. "I…I told him I had to get coffee with you and we'd talk about it later," he admits, his voice getting smaller with every word.

Maddie's face does the thing - the scrunched up pout like she's holding back on telling him that he's a damn moron. Buck scrubs his hands over his face.

"Is this Buck's hot pilot?" Josh asks from where he's pouring coffee.

Buck hears Maddie's mm-hm. 

"He said he loves me," he says, still hiding behind his hands.

"Con…gratulations?" Josh says dubiously. "Or, how awful for you? I'm really not clear on the desired response here."

"He thinks it's too soon," Maddie says. "He had a timeline. Which he did not share."

"We were taking it slow!" 

"I hate to break it to you, but the way that man looks at you is not slow," Josh says.

"He's not wrong," Maddie says, and Buck hangs his head. Because they're right. They're both right.

"Look, you know me. I stumble into things, I end up too serious too fast and it blows up in my face. I - I really didn't want it to blow up in my face. And then he just goes and - and looks at me like that, and says that, and I don't - guys, I think I really screwed up."

Maddie gives him a sympathetic look. 

Josh gives him a deeply, deeply unsympathetic one. "Oh, I have totally dated a Tommy."

"I'm sorry, what?" Buck glares at Josh who looks supremely unimpressed.

"Calm down, ankles," he tuts, and Buck is absolutely going to kill Eddie. Or Chim. He's going to kill someone. How does everyone know about that? "I said I dated a Tommy, your man's virtue is safe."

"What does that mean, you dated a Tommy?"

"Look, not everyone knows when they're five like me, and not everyone goes from adorably clueless to out and proud as fast as you. Sometimes, and I know this might be a little revolutionary for you, Buck, but sometimes the queer experience? Fucking miserable for a really long time. So sometimes you just want to grab happiness where you can find it, as soon as you find it."

Buck thinks about the things he's learned about Tommy over the months they've been seeing each other, each one a little treasure to be hoarded, a part of the puzzle that makes up the man that he already can't imagine life without - the asshole father, the dead mom, the army, the closet, the loneliness - and he wants to slap himself. 

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out, his heart sinking further at the message Tommy's sent.

Do you want me to cancel the reservation?

Buck turns his phone to show Maddie and Josh the message.

"What reservation?" Maddie asks

"Dinner," Buck says miserably. "Date night."

"Okay," Josh says. "Some of us are supposed to be working and don't have time for your little baby bi crisis. Evan Buckley, are you actually going to fumble that man? Before you answer, be aware that two thirds of the population of WeHo will get a hard-on the moment he's back on the market even if they won't know why."

"He's not going back on the market," Buck snaps. "I just - I just need to talk to him."

"There we go," Josh says, rolling his eyes and disappearing with his mug of coffee, and an idiot called back over his shoulder.

Maddie's a little kinder, hugging him quickly. "Tell him how you feel, Buck. Talk it out."

***

By the time Buck gets back to the loft, he has another message from Tommy.

Hey, I headed back to my place. Let me know if you want to talk, or if you want dinner. I'm sorry if that was too much. It doesn't have to change anything.

"Goddamnit," Buck grumbles, throwing the Jeep back into gear. The drive to Tommy's has never felt so long, and he sits outside for long enough that the neighbor across the street is just openly staring through the blinds. It's enough to propel him out of the car and up to the door.

It takes Tommy a minute to answer when Buck knocks and he looks - surprised to see him, honestly. Buck feels a horrible twist of guilt.

"Can I come in?"

"Evan. Of course. You want a coffee or something?"

"No," Buck says, trailing Tommy into the kitchen. "I - I did have one with Maddie, I'm kinda…vibrating out of my skin enough as it is."

"I'm sorry. That's not what I was aiming for."

"Y-you don't need to be - Tommy, I - "

"Hey, look, it's fine," Tommy says, and it looks like he really believes it. Like it really is completely fine that he told Buck he loves him and Buck's response was to buffer internally for a minute and then run out of his own damn apartment like his ass was on fire. Tommy taps his knuckles on the table between them in what Buck recognises as a nervous gesture. "I know that I'm not - I'm not the forever guy, and that's okay. I didn't say it to make you say it back. I said it because it's true and I wanted you to know."

"What are you talking about?"

"That I - " Tommy honestly looks a little puzzled. "What I said, this morning. It wasn't - there weren't any strings attached."

"You're not the forever guy? What the hell does that mean?"

"Just that - that I know I'm not exactly a…long-term prospect, and that's okay."

Okay? It's so far from okay. It's the worst thing Buck has ever heard.

"How are you not a long-term prospect? That's - that's the dumbest thing I ever heard, take that back."

"Evan. I used the L word and you couldn't get out of there fast enough. It's okay. You don't have to try to make me feel better. It's fine."

"It's not fine," Buck snaps, rounding the table to get closer to Tommy, catching hold of his wrist. "I'm not - look, I had a timeline, which, Maddie pointed out I didn't actually tell you about that, so that's my bad. But it was a timeline for me, to stop me going too fast and falling too hard and - and going full Buck. I didn't expect that you would - "

"Stomp all over this mysterious timeline?" Tommy asks, his eyebrows going up.

"And I'm now realizing how stupid that was. Did - did you mean it?"

"Evan. Of course I meant it." He glances down at where Buck is still squeezing his wrist, not quite holding his hand "I - honestly, I didn't think it would come as a surprise, I'm not exactly - "

"I love you."

Tommy blinks. "Evan - "

"Please believe me. Tommy. God, I screwed this up so bad, but - I do. I do love you. You are the forever guy. You're my forever guy. I promise. I just - I was just scared. But about me, not about you. Never about you. Tommy, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I - "

"Evan. Say it again."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Buck lets himself sway forward, lets his forehead meet Tommy's shoulder. "Not the forever guy. You're a goddamn idiot is what you are."

"I'm your idiot," Tommy promises, and Buck laughs shakily.

They love each other. They love each other.

[coffeeshades]

credits to the gif maker!

GUILTY AS SIN...? - PART I

summary: one summer with the man you can't have, but can't stop thinking about.

pairing: cillian murphy x popstar!reader

word count: 5.5k

warnings: 18+ (minors dni). mentions of sex. angst. cussing, slight age gap, mentions of alcohol and divorce. no use of y/n, heavily inspired by ts and ttpd. if i missed something please let me know. (also this is a work of fiction, none of it reflects how i feel about the people mentioned in this, most importantly cillian's wife, who im sure is a sweetheart irl. it's fiction, just relax and enjoy it, and if not, move along, friends.)

a/n: hi everyone! this turned out pretty long so i will be splitting it into parts so it's easier. next part will be posted soon. i hope you all have as much fun reading this as i had writing it. enjoy!

part two

The breeze riffled through your hair as you drove, the sun warming your skin through the open windows. The Irish countryside stretching out before you, lush and green, with rolling hills and quaint villages dotting the landscape. The scent of wildflowers and the sound of nothing but the wind in the trees filled your senses.

It was rare, really. The silence, the feeling of complete freedom, and the solitude that enveloped you. A fleeting escape from the chaos of your everyday life.

The ping of your phone interrupted the peaceful moment. You tapped on the pop-up notification after briefly glancing at the directions to your destination. It was a message from Cillian. Well, two, actually. One was asking how far you were, and the other was a Spotify link followed by a question mark. Ever since he started hosting his bbc radio show, he's been sending you potential songs for his playlists to get your opinion. Not that he needs it anyway. But you always appreciate being included in his process.

Your lips curled into a smile as you clicked on the link. The familiar sound of The Blue Nile's "The Downtown Lights" flooded the car, instantly making you feel a wave of nostalgia. It's been ages since you've listened to that song. The synth-pop melody carries you up the pine-dotted path to where his house perches atop a hill, overlooking the crashing waves below. You've been here a couple of times, and yet it never gets less breathtaking. The Victorian architecture contrasting beautifully with the rugged coastline, creating a scene straight out of a painting.

The car glides right past the wrought iron gates, and you cut the engine in front of the stone steps leading up to the grand entrance. You shoot Cillian a quick text letting him know you're here, unbuckle your seat belt, and hop out of the car.

The June sun beats down on your skin instantly, heat radiating off the cobblestones as you open the backdoor to look through your bag for a hair tie. The smell of saltwater mingles with the sound of gulls overhead, sending you into sensory overload. "Gotcha," you mutter to yourself as you finally find the hair tie and pull your hair back into a loose bun.

"You drove here?" you hear him call out from behind you, his voice tinged with surprise. "And you're alone?" you turn around to see Cillian walking towards you, a curious expression on his face.

"I actually had to throw a tantrum to convince them to let me come alone," you reply with a chuckle, feeling a sense of pride at your small victory. "I was like, It's Ireland. What's the worst that could happen?"

Being who you are means being guarded against any potential danger or harm at all times, being driven to almost everywhere, and always having a security team around.

Cillian laughs, a sound that makes your heart flutter and makes you want to hear it again and again. "Well, I'm glad you made it here in one piece, love," he says with a grin. "You're not a very good driver."

Your cheeks flush with embarrassment. You did regret your decision to drive from the airport 10 minutes later when you realized you were on the wrong side of the road. But he didn't need to know that.

"I made it in one piece, didn't I?" you playfully retort, trying to salvage your wounded pride. Cillian chuckles and shakes his head with a twinkle in his eye. You stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. He looks good, you thought. Unbelievably good. Well rested. His jet black hair was perfectly styled, even though you know he didn't put any effort into it—the slightest hint of silver at the temples, his sharp jawline, and those piercing blue eyes that seemed to see right through you. Though they looked a little tired, as if he had been through a lot since the last time you saw him.

You quickly avert your gaze, feeling a rush of heat on your cheeks.

"It's good to see you," you finally manage to say, trying to sound casual. Cillian's smile softens, and he replies, "It's good to see you too." He opens his arms, inviting you in for a hug. The soft fabric of his t-shirt brushes against your skin as you embrace him, and for a moment, everything feels right in the world.

"Come on, let's get inside," he says, leading you towards the house. Once inside, you make your way to the kitchen. The house was quiet; you wondered if anyone else was home. Cillian's family wasn't by any means loud or boisterous, but the silence felt heavier than usual.

"You hungry, love?" Cillian asks, opening the fridge, pulling out a white ceramic container, and setting it up on the kitchen island. You take a seat on one of the stools while he stands across from you.

"For something sweet?" you smile, seeing the container filled with what seems to be a piece of strawberry sponge cake. His mom must've made it. "Always," you reply. He hands you a spoon and takes one for himself, the two of you sharing the dessert in comfortable silence.

Until he broke it.

"How was Madrid?" he asks softly.

"It was good, great crowd," you reply, taking another bite of the dessert. "But tiring," you add, feeling the exhaustion of the long trip settling in.

"How many nights did you perform?"

"Four."

"Jesus, that's quite a lot, isn't it?"

Your eyes meet his; confusion clear in your expression. "You think that's a lot? Didn't you used to do four or five nights in a row of the same play?" you ask, raising an eyebrow. "for months…?

"Yeah, but that was a different kind of exhaustion," he explains, taking another bite. "Performing the way you do in front of a live audience for three hours is a whole different ball game, love."

Love.

There it was again. That godforsaken term of endearment that he seemed to throw around so casually. It made your heart race every time he said it, even though you knew it probably meant nothing to him. But the way he looked at you now, with a hint of admiration in his eyes, made you wonder if maybe—

"Want the last bite?" he offered, taking you out of your thoughts. He pushed the container towards you, a small smile playing on his lips. His gaze was intense, as if silently urging you to take it.

"Oh, hello," a voice exclaimed from behind you, breaking the moment. You drop the spoon on the counter, a little startled. As if you were caught in the act of something forbidden. You turned around to see Yvonne, Cillian's wife. She said your name with a surprised tone, making you feel guilty for some reason. "I didn't know you were here," she continued, her eyes flickering between you and her husband.

You started to rise from your seat, confusion clouding your thoughts. That's weird. Cillian usually lets his wife know when you're visiting, but this time it seems like he didn't. She walked towards you, enveloping you in a hug. "When did you get here?" she said.

"Not long ago," you replied, relieved that she didn't seem upset. "I, uh, wanted to take a break and thought Ireland might be a good place to do that," you added, hoping to diffuse any tension that may have arisen. She nodded understandingly. "And you're staying here?"

"Oh, no, no," you quickly assured her. "I rented a place nearby, so you don't have to worry about me."

"Nonsense," Cillian interjected. "You can stay here. There's plenty of room."

"She's already paid for it, Cillian," Yvonne retorted, giving him a stern look.

Something was definitely off.

This was the last thing you wanted. You've specifically chosen the cottage for two reasons. First, to have space. The whole point of this trip was to finally have peace and write music. You've been stuck for months, not being able to find inspiration in your usual surroundings. Everything felt dull inside you all day—an emptiness that was smothering.

Second, you needed to stay the fuck away from Cillian. Being close to him was dangerous territory, one you didn't want to navigate right now. The plan was to come and visit and occasionally hang out and that's it. The thought of being in such close quarters with him was overwhelming. Staying here meant risking your heart and sanity.

You hesitated, also not wanting to intrude on their space, but Cillian insisted.

"Okay…How about if I stay for a couple of days and then move to the cottage?" you suggested, hoping to compromise. "Sounds perfect to me," he said.

This was going to be a long summer.

For the next few days, you dream too much, don't write enough, and try to find inspiration everywhere. As you settled into the routine of staying at Cillian's, you found yourself enjoying the peaceful surroundings and his company more than you expected. The days seemed to blend together, filled with laughter, deep conversations, and stolen glances that left your heart racing.

But you also felt constantly distracted by his presence, making it difficult to focus on your writing or anything else, for that matter.

All you could think about was him.

The piano room surrounded you with its warm, inviting atmosphere, and you found yourself drawn to it more often than not. The big windows overlooking the garden let in streams of sunlight, casting a warm glow over the bookshelf. You felt the softness of the carpet as you sat on the grand piano bench, running your fingers along the keys absentmindedly.

You started humming a tune that had been stuck in your head for days, the words appearing softly and effortlessly as you played:

Please

I've been on my knees

Change the prophecy

Don't want money

Just someone who wants my company

[Hum, Hum, Hum]

Who do I have to speak to

About if they can redo

The prophecy?

The humming went on whenever you didn't know what to say next, filling in the gaps between the notes on the piano and the lyrics:

A greater woman has faith

[Hum, Hum, Hum]

I'm so afraid I sealed my fate

No sign of soulmates

I'm just a paperweight

[Hum, Hum, Hum]

Spending my last coin so someone will tell me

It'll be ok

[Hum, Hum, Hum]

The melody filled the room until you stopped abruptly, frustrated that the lyrics weren't coming as easily as before. You closed your eyes with a groan, trying to clear your mind. "Fuck," you muttered under your breath, elbows resting on the keys of the piano.

"You good?" Cillian's rough voice broke through your frustration, causing you to look up and offer a weak smile. You don't know how long he's been standing there or how much he heard of your struggles. "Just hitting a wall with this song," you admitted, running a hand through your hair.

"Ah, I see," he nodded sympathetically. He moved towards the records stacked on the shelf and pulled one out, placing it on the turntable. "I don't want to mess with your creative process or anything, but maybe a break with some music will help," he suggested.

Radiohead's "Fake Plastic Trees" began to play, taking over the room with its haunting melody.

"So you play one of the saddest songs ever?" you deadpanned, "Thanks."

He chuckled softly, "You were playing some pretty intense stuff; I figured it would fit right in."

Oh, so he did hear you.

"Ah, I know it's different from my usual stuff," you said quietly, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious about your music. "I might scrap that one. They might not be onboard with the change."

"And why's that?"

Thom Yorke's voice faded into the background as you contemplated his question, unsure of how to respond.

You shrugged, "I listen to sad music, not make it."

"I liked what I heard," he reassured you, "and change is good. It keeps things interesting."

His low voice was soothing, and you found yourself feeling more at ease with the idea of trying something new. Pop has been your comfort zone for so long, it's what stands out of you, but most importantly, it's what sells. At least, that's what's important to the industry. Maybe it was time to push yourself out of it.

"I guess you're right," you replied, a faint smile creeping onto your face.

"As always," he said, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. He stood leaning against the table where the record player sat, arms crossed, looking as if he had too many things to say and not enough words for them.

"Would this be a good time to ask you if everything's okay?" you inquired, noticing the weight of unspoken thoughts in his eyes. "With Yvonne, I mean," you added, nervous to bring up the topic.

That first day, when you arrived at the house, you could sense there was something going on between them. Something bad. The tension in the air was so obvious, but you didn't want to pry. However, as the days went by, it became increasingly difficult to ignore the fact that she hadn't been around or the absence of a certain ring on his finger.

"And here, I thought you were never going to ask," he replied, his words laced with sarcasm.

"I was waiting for you to bring it up," your voice trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. "I-I didn't want to overstep."

He studied you for a moment, or at least, you assumed that was what he was doing. Finally, he averted his gaze and cleared his throat,"We've separated."

A cold feeling settled in your chest as you processed his words. The reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks, and suddenly everything made sense. "Cillian," is all you managed to say, the concern evident in your voice.

He still wouldn't look at you. Knowing him, in moments like this, he wouldn't want to be coddled or pitied, so you save your apologies for later.

"What happened?"

He waved his hand dismissively, still avoiding your gaze. "Nothing, really," he said, his tone final. He didn't look upset, but rather resigned to the situation. "It hadn't been working for a long time; we both knew it was coming. I guess we were holding on for the boys more than anything." You could see the sadness in his eyes, despite his attempt to appear nonchalant. The weight of his words hung in the air, leaving you feeling defeated and unsure of what to say next. You don't think there's anything you can say that will make this or him feel better.

And boy, did you wish you could take away his pain with just a few words.

Cillian walked slowly over the piano, stopping in front of it. He streched his arms over the wooden soundboard, gripping the edges tightly as if seeking some sort of solace in the instrument. He finally looked at you.

"Why didn't you say anything, Cill?" you asked softly, "I would've—"

"You would've what?" he interrupted, his voice strained with emotion. "I didn't want to worry you, you have more important things than my marital issues."

You could see the pain in his eyes, and it tore at your heart to see him suffering in silence. "You're my friend. These things are important to me, Cill," you said gently, reaching out to touch his hand in a gesture of comfort. He flinched slightly at your touch, but then relaxed, leaning into your hand.

He didn't say anything, but you knew he appreciated your words. You could tell by the way his shoulders slumped in relief and the way his fingers loosened their grip on the edge of the piano.

One morning, you woke up to the wind gently rustling through the trees outside your windows. The morning light was clear and clean, leaking through the glass and falling against the walls of the room in soft patterns. It felt too early to be awake, too peaceful to disturb the tranquility of the moment.

You roll over to look at the little clock on the bedside table: 6:20 AM. It wasn't worth trying to go back to sleep, so you threw the covers and climbed out of bed, feeling the cool wood floor beneath your feet as you walked to the bathroom.

You splash cold water on your face and brush your teeth, trying to wake yourself up fully. Holding up your hair, you tie it into a ponytail while walking over the bedside table to grab your phone and airpods. You put one in your ear and hit shuffle on one of your morning playlists. You couldn't function without some music. "Keep On Loving You" by Cigarettes After Sex starts playing.

On your way to the kitchen, you walked by Cillian's room and noticed the door was slightly ajar. Who the hell sleeps with their door open? Psychos, probably. Curiosity getting the best of you, you peeked inside to see him sprawled out on his bed, body illuminated by the soft morning light filtering through the curtains—characteristic warm and cool shades revealing every hollow and speck of bare muscle. He slept with every limb stretched out, a stark contrast to his usual composed demeanor. It was a rare sight, quite poetic.

He looked so peaceful, completely unaware of your presence. So you let your mind wander.

You imagined yourself crossing the room, pulling yourself on top of him. You imagined the way his bare body would look beneath you, his chest rising and falling with each breath, his dark hair messy around his face, his skin warm against yours. His hands—rough and soft at the same time—running over your thigh, your breast, your neck. You could almost feel the heat of his touch, the intensity of his gaze as he looked up at you.

But then reality snapped back into focus.

"Fuck," you muttered under your breath. This was just a fantasy, a dangerous game to play with someone who was somewhat off-limits. But truth be told, the temptation was becoming harder to resist with each passing moment. It was all you could think about ever since he told you about his troubled marriage.

It took a long time for your heartbeat to slow. You headed to the kitchen to get some coffee, hoping that the caffeine would help clear your mind. As you rummage through the cabinets for a mug, his voice startles you from behind. "Need some help with that?" he asks, making you jump.

For a moment you thought you were still imagining things, but you turn around to see him standing there with a t-shirt on as opposed to five minutes ago. Great, him walking around shirtless in his kitchen, sleepy-eyed, messy hair, and rough morning voice would've been lethal.

"I've got it, thanks," you reply, shaking the mug slightly in your hand. You quickly pour yourself some coffee and try to focus on the task at hand: looking for the sugar.

"Sleep well?" he asks, voice still husky from sleep, his accent more prominent. He's rifling through the cabinet for a mug of his own. You can't help but notice the way his muscles flex under his dark t-shirt as he reaches up. You hum in agreement, trying to hide your blush as you take a sip of your coffee. "You?"

"Grand," he replies, pouring himself a cup of coffee and leaning against the counter. You exchange small talk about the upcoming day, but your mind keeps drifting back to how good he looks in the morning light.

"Any plans for today other than locking yourself in the piano room?" he teases, and you shoot him a playful glare. "Maybe I'll actually venture outside for once," you quip, laughing.

"How does the beach sound like?" he asks, "The boys are coming over, and they're bringing some friends, and I thought a trip would be a nice change of scenery."

"I could use some sun," you admit, feeling a smile tug at your lips.

"Let's make it a beach day then," he suggests, setting his mug on the sink. "We leave at 10, piano woman."

"Ha ha, very funny," you say sarcastically, rolling your eyes. "But I'll hold you to it, annoying man," you reply.

"Annoying man?" he repeats, raising an eyebrow. "I thought I was your favorite person."

"Only on days that end in 'y'."

•••

"Are you done with your sad boy music?"

Cillian bursts out laughing, the sound taking you by surprise. He's been playing Radiohead on repeat for the whole car ride, and you were starting to feel like you were in a melancholy music video. "I like their music as much as the next person, but I think I need a break from the sadness," you say.

"Fine, fine," Cillian concedes, reaching for his phone to change the song. The bleak atmosphere in the car lifts as "Linger" by The Cranberries starts playing, filling the space with a more pleasant vibe. Cillian glances at you, he's wearing dark shades that hide his eyes, but you can still see his stoic expression softening as he catches you smiling at the change in music.

"Better?" he asks, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Instead of answering, you start silently singing along to the lyrics, gesticulating dramatically for added effect. Cillian smiles at your antics, his own lips twitching in amusement as he watches you. The boys were so caught up in their conversation with their friends in the backseat that you were pretty sure they weren't even paying attention to the music or your impromptu performance. With a small smile on your face, you face out the window and enjoy the rest of the car ride in content silence.

When you arrive at your destination, all of you unbuckle your seat belts once Cillian puts the Bronco in park. You all pile out of the car, stretching your legs and taking in the sights around you. You close your eyes for a second and take a breath. The sea air—you loved that smell.

•••

A few hours later, after countless swims and some snacks, you find yourself lying on a beach towel, book in hand, feeling the warmth of the temperature on your skin. You're reading a book you picked up at an airport several months ago by Elin Hilderbrand, or the queen of beach reads, as many call her. You were completely engrossed in the story until you felt Cillian settling down next to you.

His hair was damp from the water, and his skin was slightly glistening. Gosh, he looked absolutely stunning. "Mind if I join you?" he asks.

"Not at all," you reply, closing the book and sitting up. "Having fun?"

"Lots," he says with a smile, reaching over to grab his sunglasses. The two of you sit in comfortable silence. The laughter and chatter of his sons and friends coming from the water redirects your attention back to the beach scene before you. You look back at Cillian, his eyes fixed on his sons.

"They love you, you know," you say softly, watching the genuine joy on his face as he watches his children.

"I don't know if I'm doing it right," he says, eyes still fixed on the boys. "I worry I might've fucked them up by letting my relationship with their mother fall apart."

He continues, "Sometimes I feel they resent me for it."

"Why do you feel that way?"

"I don't know, they just seem distant sometimes. Like they're holding back."

"Hey, that's normal for kids to have mixed feelings about their parents' separation. I was so happy when mine got divorced because it meant no more fighting, but it was also tough to adjust to the changes. It's very conflicting stuff," you say, huffing a small laugh. "Also, they're teenagers now, right? That's a tough age to navigate even without the added stress of divorce."

Cillian nods in agreement, exhaling out a yeah.

You squint against the sunlight beaming behind his head before continuing.

"You're a great dad, you always have been. Just show up and be there for them when they need you, even if they don't always seem to appreciate it. They'll remember it in the long run," you offer, remembering how much your own father's presence meant to you after your parents' divorce. "And I'm not a parent, but what parent feels like they're doing everything right all the time, anyway?"

Cillian turns to look at you. He studies your face for a moment before offering a small smile. "I guess you're right," he says sincerely.

"Fork found in kitchen," you retort, breaking the tension with a bit of humor.

He chuckles, "That's clever."

"Well," you continue, "I've been accused of many things over the years, but being unoriginal isn't one of them."

He laughs. Just like he did back in the car: a genuine, carefree laugh that makes you feel a little lighter.

"Want to go for one last swim, piano woman?"

You roll your eyes. "Will you stop calling me that?"

"Not likely," Cillian replies with a grin. "It's too fitting."

You stand up and stretch. You're wearing a one-piece teal-ish swimsuit that you swear you only chose based on comfort and not because it makes your ass and breasts look fantastic. Cillian's eyes linger on you for a moment before he looks away, and you swear you can see a hint of a blush on his cheeks. He doesn't move.

"Are you coming or…?"

"Right, one last swim," he finally says, standing up and following you towards the water.

Maybe that one last swim wasn't a great idea after all.

And why is that?

Because not even five minutes into the water, you thought it would be a good idea to jump from a high rock, and now you're sitting in the car with your knee scrapped, throbbing in pain, and regretting your impulsive decision.

•••

"You're so fuckin' stubborn."

You try to move into a more comfortable position while ignoring the pain shooting up your leg by pressing a hand against one side of the door to keep yourself steady. "And you're so clearly overreacting."

Cillian pushes his bedroom door open. He's also clearly pissed. The ride back to the house was deathly silent. Well, not silent. His sad boy music made a return, and this time with Broken Social Scene. You couldn't ask him to change the music without starting another argument. Even the kids were quiet, beyond asking several times if you were okay, which you assured them you were. Obviously a lie.

As Cillian walks around the room, you reach for your midi white beachy dress and look down at your knee in horror. It's no longer just a bruise, but a gash that is slowly oozing blood. Not as much as before, but still. It looks nasty underneath the shirt Cillian used from his car as a makeshift bandage.

He grabs the first aid kit from a shelf and turns around to face you.

"Take off your dress."

"Pardon me?"

"Take off your dress so I can properly clean and bandage the wound," Cillian repeats, his expression serious. You look down at the blood-stained fabric as if you needed any more confirmation. "Off, C'mon."

You stiffen at his demand, your body going completely rigid at his bossy tone. You watch him stride into his bathroom. He pushes aside some stuff on the counter and tosses the kit onto the counter.

Okay, yeah. He has good reason to be upset. You had no business jumping from that rock.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he'd said before, right when he went to get you. And now you can see the anger still simmering beneath the surface.

You can hear him shuffle in the bathroom while you remove your dress. You still have your swimsuit on underneath, but you feel exposed without the extra layer. Maybe the pain is catching up to you or the fact that you have upset him or that he's waiting for you in the bathroom to take care of you but tears sting your eyes as you try to process the situation. You take a moment to collect yourself. You cannot go in there like this, he cannot see you this vulnerable. At least, not now.

He's braced against the counter, head hung low, when you push open the bathroom door. You nearly back out to give him some space or time to compose himself, but his eyes meet yours and his expression straightens. He clears his throat and then freezes. "I—you're wearing your swimsuit."

"I am. Were you expecting me to change into something else?"

"No," he grumbles, "I mean, nevermind."

He turns back and starts grabbing sterile gauze, his movements slightly jerky. He gestures for you to sit on the counter. "Up."

"I'm not sure I can do that given my—" Before you're done speaking, he scoops you up and sets you on the counter. Your hands are locked around his neck, and his are firmly gripping your waist. They fit perfectly there, like they're made to hold you close.

He reaches behind him, both your faces close together now, and grabs your wrists, pulling them away from his neck and onto your thighs. He puts a hand on your uninjured leg, his touch gentle yet firm. "This is going to hurt." You stare at his impossible blue eyes and think to yourself: yes, this is going to hurt.

"Oh, shit shit," you gasp, gripping his forearm. "Holy fuuuck."

"I've got you, breathe," he commands, and you allow yourself to focus on his voice, letting it ground you. The antiseptic burns both your nostrils and knee as he continues to clean the wound, the pain shooting through your leg causing you to clench your teeth.

"I'm sorry," you breathe out.

There's nothing but silence in response.

"I told you multiple times not to go up there," he finally says, his voice tinged with frustration. "And yet."

"I know," you whisper, feeling guilty.

"Don't do that again," he commands, his accent thickening with emotion. "You could've hurt yourself even more."

"I know," you repeat, not sure how else to respond.

His head is bowed in concentration as he finishes cleaning the wound, his hands steady despite the anger in his voice. You can see his dark eyelashes fluttering slightly as he works. He applies a little more pressure to the bandage than he should've, and you let out a soft moan. This doesn't go unnoticed by him.

The air in the room seems to shift. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, you see something soften in his gaze before he looks away.

"You're not supposed to like that."

Your cheeks heat up immediately.

He's gotten closer to you, your hands somehow made their way to fist his navy blue linen shirt. His body is between your legs, the delicate material of his pants brushing your skin. His breath is warm against your cheek as he leans in closer, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I can't say I mind it either." Your heart races at his proximity, unsure of what to do next.

His hands slide up your thighs, gently caressing your skin, sending shivers down your spine. He's going to kiss you, and you can't help but wonder if it's the right decision to let him.

But now is not the time to be rational about it.

"I'm not gonna stop you," you say quietly, "I wouldn't know how."

His eyes darken, pupils dilating with desire. He doesn't move.

It's like you're both aware of the line you're about to cross, so neither of you moves.

You keep your eyes firmly on his face. His lips inch closer to yours, and you feel the heat of his breath on your skin. Your body is angled towards his, hand gripping the edge of the counter. Your slightly damp hair, now cold, making you shiver.

He's impossibly hard against you, the material of his pants is thin, and you're aware of every inch of him pressing against your throbbing core.

"And I wouldn’t know how to stop kissing you," he whispers, his voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart. He shifts slightly, causing his erection to press even more firmly against you, both letting out a soft moan. His mouth hovers just inches from yours, just kiss me, you thought.

There's a knock on the bedroom door, which is, by the way, open.

"Dad?" You both freeze.

The bathroom door is slightly ajar, offering a sliver of privacy but not enough to shield you from any potential interruptions.

"Yes?" Cillian calls out, trying to sound casual despite the intense moment that was just interrupted. "We're ordering takeout, do you want anything?"

"No, buddy, we're good, thanks," Cillian replies, his voice strained as he tries to keep his composure. You hear the steps retreating down the hallway.

Cillian steps back, and the absence of his body against yours is jarring. It clearly would've been a mistake to take this further, but a mistake that would've felt so fucking good.

"We shouldn't do this."

He clears his throat. "Yeah."

He moves towards the door, his movements tense and purposeful. "I'm gonna—" he says, motioning the door.

"Yeah," you quickly reply, "I got it."

You watch him leave, the air heavy with unspoken words and unfulfilled desires.

a/n: thank you for reading! please share your thoughts with me, let me know if you guys enjoyed it :)

part two

[sserpente]

My Pleasure

Excerpt from Gortash's Private Memoirs, No. 48:

Quite recently, I have been able to observe an interesting phenomenon. The new tadpoles, as per my last visit to Moonrise Towers, are forming a protective layer, a membrane, around themselves, a process resembling that of a human or an elven embryo. These rather soft “eggs” filled with brine allow the tadpole to grow without any external influences which in turn improves its quality for later use.

In order to fully embrace this potential, I have a theory that once put into practice, will be exceeding the effectiveness of the brine pools, enabling the production of more tadpoles directly in Baldur’s Gate—as soon as I’ve had it relocated to the city. And all I will need is a woman.

A/N: Okay, hear me out. This is the most depraved, most vile, most perverted, and filthiest thing I have ever written. I actually pondered for a couple of days whether I should post it or not but you know what? Fuck it. The Emperor inspired me. Somehow I really enjoyed writing it and I bet there’ll be at least one person out there who will enjoy reading it and that’s good enough for me. Please, for the love of the gods, HEED THE WARNINGS before proceeding and if you realise this story isn’t for you…don’t keep on reading, don’t traumatise yourself. And if anyone who worked on BG3 one way or another comes across this Imagine and wants to read it…please just don’t? :D

Words: 4435

Warnings: dub-con & non-con smut, abduction & captivity, angst

Additional NSFW warnings: tentacles, ovipositor (yeah that’s a thing I had to google it), eggs, bondage, forced orgasms, edging, mechanical sex device, CMNF, sexual submission, scientific experiment

Gortash’s Private Memoirs, No. 48

The increased production of altered tadpoles is coming to fruition but I cannot help but ponder over how to guarantee success even quicker. Last night, I had a devilishly promising idea. The tadpoles thrive best in warm, dark, and wet environments, hence the brine pools in which they are birthed.

Quite recently, I have been able to observe an interesting phenomenon. The new tadpoles, as per my last visit to Moonrise Towers, are forming a protective layer, a membrane, around themselves, a process resembling that of a human or an elven embryo. These rather soft “eggs” filled with brine allow the tadpole to grow without any external influences which in turn improves its quality for later use.

In order to fully embrace this potential, I have a theory that once put into practice, will be exceeding the effectiveness of the brine pools, enabling the production of more tadpoles directly in Baldur’s Gate—as soon as I’ve had it relocated to the city. And all I will need is a woman.

The idea is to insert the tadpole eggs into the vaginal canal of an elven, a human, or a tiefling woman (or any person with a uterus) where they will remain until they are fully grown. If my theory is correct, the eggs will allow the host to easily expel them once they are ready. From there, the eggs will be placed back in a single remaining brine pool where they can hatch, ready for insertion into a citizen.

Your journey, unfortunate as it was, began innocently enough. You came to Baldur’s Gate seeking refuge after the army of the Absolute laid waste to your home. You had nothing left. No gold, no possessions, and nothing more than the clothes you were wearing on your body when you fled.

Baldur’s Gate was your only hope—until it wasn’t. Perhaps the alarm bells should have started ringing when after the eerie assessment of a Steel Watcher—the new guards of the city, so you learned—you were let through past poor and terrified families with children, only to be escorted directly to Wyrm’s Rock by a Fist.

Oblivious still, you obliged, thinking they would need you to register, to record your name. But your journey led you further until you found yourself in the dungeons of the fortress.

And then—darkness, as if someone had taken your memory and left you with nothing but pictorial crumbs and aching limbs.

“Good morning, my dear. Did you sleep well?” Lord Enver Gortash stepped into view after a heavy door fell shut behind him, a sly and cold smile on his lips.

“Please…please let me go.”

It was a game the two of you played. Gortash would show up, loom over you, and mock, tracking his progress—your progress—and you’d plead for him for mercy. The taste of humiliation had long gone stale. Your half-torn dress, the last one you’d owned, was in shreds, revealing your entire lower body and the most intimate parts of you to his calculated gaze.

“You know I cannot do that, my dear. Not when we are so close to success.”

You were his first, he’d said. That he’d seen you through the eyes of his Steel Watch. That you made the perfect test subject.

Lord Enver Gortash—the people’s hero, the city’s saviour…the ruthless tyrant in disguise.

Bound and helpless and at his mercy, he’d taken you captive and had you brought to a secret hideout underneath the Upper City. Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks.

You didn’t know what his plan was. He’d never told you what it was that he wanted from you—what he wanted from your body. Only that not a single day passed on which you were not being violated. Not by him…but by whatever thing he’d tamed. A monster? Perhaps. You’d never seen its face, never even seen a real body—only its long phallic tentacles with a small opening boring themselves deep into your core, again and again, and again.

It was the same procedure every day. Of course, it was. This was your life now. Your body was a tool for whatever sick game Gortash was playing.

You heard them before you saw them. The slimy, slithering sounds of those things. The archduke raised his fist, a purple gemstone illuminating the dimly lit room he kept you in.

A whimper escaped your lips when the tentacles writhed around your thighs and your waist, holding you in place for the vile act they were about to perform on you. There was no pain, at least—the tentacle slipped inside you effortlessly, its shiny saliva, discharge, whatever it was, acting as an odourless lubricant. In, out, in, out. It wasn’t getting any pleasure from the act, nor was it trying to bestow it on you, this much you’d learned quickly. This was about something else entirely. The tentacle curled inside you as if to probe you, to explore you. You winced when it slid across your walls and pressed against your cervix for a moment. Then…it stilled until eventually, it released you and retreated back into the darkness.

Gortash sighed—disappointed by this outcome—he was every day. “A shame. There must be something I am missing.”

“Please…if you let me go, I swear I won’t tell a soul about this.”

Gortash chuckled. “Oh, I’m sure you wouldn’t, my dear. But alas, I still need you.”

“Why me?” you whined. “What are you doing to me? What is this…this thing?”

“So many questions… Well, I suppose I can answer one of them at least. Why you? Because it was convenient. You are not Baldurian. Your absence from the city will go unnoticed. You are young, potent, durable…you were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, my dear.”

“F-for what? Durable for what? For…for this?”

Gortash only chuckled in response. His dark eyes fell on the half-eaten stew from a few hours ago when one of his men you’d recognised as a Banite, reluctantly fed it to you.

“I’ll have something else brought down for you to eat. You’ll need your strength if our little experiment is to work.”

“N-No, fuck you! Please, don’t leave. Please, just…just stop, please, I’ll do anything, please!” You thrashed against your bonds, hot tears burning in your eyes.

Gortash smirked. “Such inappropriate language for a lady. I shall see you tomorrow, my dear.”

Your screams and curses ricocheted off the walls as he left, leaving you to your fate once again and to ponder over how travelling to Baldur’s Gate as an innocent refugee had turned your life into an utter nightmare.

Gortash’s Private Memoirs, No. 49

It turns out that the brain was rejecting the girl for a very specific reason. I was missing a rather significant variable. Arousal. In order for a female to grow warm, wet, and receptive, in this case for the tadpole eggs, she too needs to be in a, let us say, welcoming state.

The tadpoles are used to a wet environment such as that—the vaginal canal will therefore have to replicate it if the brain is to deposit the eggs inside of her.

Now it is highly unlikely to get the test subject into such an aroused state without any external help and additional stimulation. The girl is terrified enough as is, even if I did command the brain to work her to climax and then keep her in a libidinous state, the attempt would prove fruitless.

Taking care of the matter myself is unthinkable, of course. I am Lord Enver Gortash, it is beneath me to lay a hand on a poor refugee girl to pleasure her of all things—even though I will admit that the thought has crossed my mind. My own needs have come rather short since the retrieval of the Crown and with the Urge gone, I have no one else to blow off some steam with every now and then.

Be that as it may, over the last week, I have created a contraption that will easily get the job done for me and simplify this little experiment immensely. In order for it to work, it is of idle importance to focus on the clitoral region. My contraption will stimulate the area with both suction and vibrations.

Connected directly to the brain, it can be powered for a long period of time, enabling me to keep the girl in a constant state of arousal without my interference.

And, on a personal note, the result will truly be a sight to behold.

Gortash did not return the next day, nor the day after. You remained sleepless most nights, dozing off every now and then during the day. Not that you were able to distinguish between day and night anyway. You counted the meals, however. Seven. Seven days went by without him continuing to torment you, and even though the suspense was killing you, the retreating soreness in your aching core, that reminder of those tentacles claiming your cunt for themselves, ebbing away slowly, was a welcome break.

On day eight, the tyrant returned. Your stomach churned when you heard him approach, the way his steps sounded long engrained in your brain.

“Good morning, my dear. I sure hope you haven’t missed me too much. My apologies for neglecting you. I had a couple of things to take care of—archduke duties, you understand.”

“No, please…please, just…”

“Hush now, my dear. Lest I’ll gag you. I believe I realised what my mistake was. The brain has no grounds for breeding if the host is not receptive. It’s kind of obvious once you think about it, really.”

Breeding? “The b-brain? What brain?”

His response never came. You watched him, terrified, as he raised his fist, his purple gemstone glowing yet again.

He spoke up when those loathsome tentacles wrapped around your thighs and your waist to hold you in place, their wet squelching noises sending ice-cold shivers up and down your spine.

“Oh gods…no, please no… s-stop…make it stop…you don’t have to do this, please!”

The archduke did not react—at least not in a way you’d like him to. Instead, he stepped forward, an eerie metal contraption with four metal claw arms and a small, suspicious-looking hole in his hands.

“Oh, don’t worry, my dear. Today is going to be a lot more pleasurable for you than usual.” With that, and ignoring your weak protests, he latched the metal device onto your exposed cunt. The claw arms sprang into action and gripped you immediately, wrapping around the very crease where your thighs and your pubic bone met, the other two dug into your butt cheeks, clinging on to you, lodging the contraption in place. Gortash pressed it down on you further until the round opening enveloped your clit.

You froze. Was he going to hurt you? Torture you? Even without extensive biology lessons on human anatomy at school, it was common knowledge the clitoris had over eight thousand nerve endings. It was sensitive. The pain this little device could inflict…

He left you no time to ponder over it. It hummed to life, tightening around your cunt. But instead of pain, what rippled through you was…pleasure. A gentle suction increasing gradually, combined with soft pulsing vibrations pampering your sensitive bundle of nerves peacefully, having you grow more and more…aroused.

No. This was wrong. You shouldn’t be feeling this way, not here, not when…you gasped when Gortash placed his hand on your bare stomach, the metal claws of his jewellery caressing your skin almost gently.

“That’s it, my dear. Let it happen. You are going to enjoy this one way or another so there is no use fighting it.”

“W-Why are you doing this?” you breathed out.

“You’ll see soon enough. You are going to be part of something extraordinary, dear. You should be honoured.”

You didn’t feel honoured. But you did feel arousal. Your breathing quickened, your core growing warm, wet. It felt…good. And that, given your hopeless situation, was horrifying. You didn’t want this, not like this, not with this faceless beast violating your body, and not in front of him. He had no right to watch you during such an intimate moment and yet…when the suction on your clit increased once again, a moan escaped your lips. Whatever this device was, it had but one purpose—to force an orgasm from you.

Panting, you writhed against your bonds, the tentacles only tightening around you in response and the suction and the vibrations increasing as if the more you resisted, the more Gortash—and whatever this thing was—wanted you to relax into it.

The thick tentacle inside you moved with tenacity, probing and prodding where it didn’t belong. Only this time…this time your body couldn’t help but welcome it. You were lost. Lost in the pleasure, the bliss forced upon you. And the more time passed…the longer Gortash watched every single one of your desperate movements…the more any coherent thoughts left your mind until all there was left was an overwhelming desire…to come.

He was edging you, biding his time. His dark eyes were glued on your pussy as the thick tentacle disappeared inside you again and again and again. Squelching wet sounds echoed through the dimly lit room, riling you up even further. It was your own slickness this time producing these noises…and the more your arousal grew, the more you found yourself giving up all refusal.

You let your head fall back, unable to escape the invasive treatment any longer.

“That should suffice now. You’ve done well, my dear.” Gortash’s hand wandered down to your lower belly, the purple gemstone glowing. “Let us take this up a notch now, shall we?”

“N-n-no…”

Your weak protest fell on deaf ears. Without any forewarning, the pressure on your clit increased even more, the suction growing almost painful. You couldn’t have stopped it even if you had wanted to; the pleasure rippling through you like lightning in a thunderstorm conjured by the gods as you fell apart before him, your wet and aching walls clenching and contracting around the still moving tentacle inside you. You gave in, letting your orgasm consume you. The relief was so overwhelming you were on the verge of tears once the last waves of pleasure subsided and left you shaking in your bonds.

Gortash chuckled darkly. “Bravo…” he praised, his tone condescending, almost mocking.

But this wasn’t over yet, for it was then you felt something being released into your warmth, the tentacle still buried deep in your pussy pumping something into you. Gortash pressed his palm down on your lower belly as if to confirm what was happening.

Your eyes widened as it popped into you, the momentary pressure making you flinch.

“Good, good…keep going.” He wasn’t addressing you anymore. But there was something else you realised. Whatever these tentacles were, whatever they belonged to, they were pumping their eggs into you. Another one plopped in, then another, then another. You whimpered, fear digging its claws deep into your intestines, your heart pounding.

You counted five eggs until it finally stopped and the tentacle retreated. Trembling and with chattering teeth, you found Gortash’s satisfied expression.

“Very good…”

It was his words that finally triggered your full-blown panic, the shock of what had just happened sinking in. You couldn’t feel the eggs inside you anymore, they were small enough not to stretch you out painfully but knowing they were there in the first place…you gasped for air, fending off a panic attack. What if they hatched inside of you? What if whatever was growing inside you now would eventually bite and claw its way out, ripping you open?

“P-please, please, I beg you…get them out of me, please. Please do something, please, please, please…get them o-out of me…” Your words were drowned in sobs and tears, yet Gortash remained unfazed.

“There, there, there is nothing to worry about, my dear. The eggs won’t have to stay up there for too long. A couple of days, at most. Do not attempt to push them out before then,” he demanded—and the fear of what he might do to you if you disobeyed was somehow even greater than what the eggs inside you might do to you after what he already put you through.

“Am I going to die? Is this going to kill me?” you choked out.

“Of course not. Not if you behave. Rest now. I shall return to you soon, my dear. Don’t go anywhere.” He removed his hand from your lower belly and left with a malicious chuckle.

Gortash did not return for another five days, yet his contraption remained latched onto your body, unwillingly bestowing pleasure on you and keeping you in a constant state of arousal, edging you—but never allowing you to finish. To keep the eggs wet. To keep them warm and comfortable. Soon…soon…

Soon this would all be over and perhaps then the tyrannical archduke would let you go, surely. There were no thoughts remaining in your head other than your freedom and relief—sexual relief. Every cell of your body was on fire, and you were sure that the slightest touch, perhaps from a clawed hand, could toss you over the edge and have you coming for hours.

Thinking straight was not an option anymore. It was a luxury you couldn’t afford, not with your nerves turning into lava. You used to welcome the breaks in between—now, they were pure torture, a merciless reminder that Gortash held your pleasure in his hands—and he wasn’t even here.

Perhaps the fact you stopped eating by day three was what had him pay you another visit. Perhaps he merely thought that those disgusting eggs inside of you were ready to hatch. You didn’t feel any different down there. They didn’t grow in size, didn’t move, didn’t poke. But knowing they were there…

You took a deep breath when the door opened and you recognised his footsteps approaching, preparing to start the so-familiar game of begging.

“P-please…” But this time, it was different. You didn’t want to ask him to stop. You wanted him to end it. To finish it—to let you experience the relief he’d been withholding from you for the past five days.

“Please what, my dear? You’re doing quite well…though I am a little concerned you are refusing the food I had my servants bring down. This isn’t some sort of belated rebellion, is it?”

You fought hard to shake your head, tears of exhaustion burning in your eyes. You flinched when the metal contraption hummed to life yet again, vibrating and sucking and forcing you to the edge within seconds.

“P-please…I need to come…I can’t…I can’t…take it anymore. It’s t-too much…please…”

“Hmm…” It was gone before you could be sure but for a moment, you believed to spot genuine desire in his dark eyes. His gaze skimmed over your helpless and trembling body, over your hardened nipples poking through the ruined fabric of your dress, drenched in sweat, and over your exposed sex gushing with your juices. “I don’t see why not. I think we can take the next step. Come, my dear.”

His words alone would have been enough to make you oblige, yet as if on cue, the device’s efforts intensified too. You were barely able to process how fast it tossed you down an endless cliff of bliss and relief. Your orgasm was almost painful as pleasure as sweet as honey and as sharp as glass pulsed through you, making you see stars.

You could feel the eggs now. You were contracting around them, your body forcing them out.

“Very good,” Gortash purred. “Keep going. Push. Them. Out.”

And so you did. Eager to be rid of the foreign spawn resting inside of you. You took a deep breath, the intensity of your climax still clouding your senses, and pushed. At this point, you wouldn’t even have cared if you had peed yourself right in front of him. All you wanted was for this to be over and…more pleasure.

What?

The first two eggs popped out of you, covered in your slick juices and you propped yourself up as best as you could to catch a glimpse of them. Then you wished you hadn’t. They were almost see-through and milky, a tadpole-shaped creature swimming inside acidic-looking water. You were even more eager now to get them out of you, pushing even harder.

Another two eggs plopped out, followed quickly by the last one. You breathed out, relieved. Finally. They’re gone…they’re gone…

Gortash snapped his fingers and seemingly out of nowhere, a Banite hurried toward you to collect the eggs with thick leather gloves on. Where he took them, you didn’t even want to find out. You were glad they were out of sight. And then, at last, he removed the contraption and set it aside.

Your clit was numb—fuck, your entire pussy was numb, and yet…as his fingers brushed over your pelvis…you moaned.

“You have become part of a scientific breakthrough today, my dear. You should be proud.”

“I…I’m…I…”

“Hmm? What’s that? Gods, look at you, you’re a mess.” His eyes found your dripping sex, lingering there a little too long. “If I didn’t know better I’d say you need more.”

Your eyes widened. You didn’t shake your head. You didn’t deny it. Your walls were tingling, needy for something else to mould around. Because he was right. You did need more. And you hated your body for it.

“Beg me,” he demanded.

Your eyes widened in response.

“I…I…”

“Go ahead. Beg me. You want something from me, my dear.”

You swallowed. There wasn’t much of your pride left anyway. “P-please…”

“Please what?”

“Please…h-help me.”

Gortash tilted his head, clearly amused by your weak request—but he seemed satisfied.

You didn’t know whether to be relieved or terrified when he opened his trousers and pulled out his cock. You had affected him. He was hard. Or perhaps it was the simple fact you were in such a submissive state that had gotten him so aroused.

He positioned himself between your legs, his red tip pressing against your slick entrance. There was no need to prepare you for this after all. One way or another…you had begged him for it.

Gortash pushed inside with but one long thrust, slipping inside you to the hilt. You whimpered when his pelvis, lined with curly black hair, brushed against your clit. It was no gentle lovemaking. It was pure, carnal fucking.

He withdrew almost entirely, his fingers digging into your thighs. The metal claws hurt like a bitch but you were so beyond any sensation aside from pleasure you barely registered it. When he plunged back in, you gasped for air, his steady and frantic rhythm eliciting moan after moan after moan.

This…was heavenly. His strokes were caressing your walls, hitting all those pleasurable spots times and times again until you turned into an all but whining mess on the brink of orgasm.

“I can feel you tightening around me…” he purred, sweat glistening on his forehead. “Go ahead. Come. Come.”

His words were like a trigger. Unable to resist, you threw your head back, clenching your fists. Your climax hit you like a tidal wave, pulling you into a restless sea of bliss. You contracted around him, your sex begging him for his seed.

Your eyes widened when he groaned and with one final thrust, buried himself as deep inside you as he could and stilled. You were not on birth control… you could only pray that Gortash had planned ahead for this.

His breathing calmed again, and so did yours. Eventually, after a few moments of surprisingly comfortable silence, he withdrew, sending a wet noise through the dimly lit room. He tucked his cock away as if none of this had just happened. When you looked up, you noticed the satisfied smirk in his eyes.

“Please don’t…put eggs in me again, please… I’ll do anything!” And you meant it. Perhaps it was your mushy brain malfunctioning as a result of being edged for so long. And now that Gortash himself had taken pleasure from you…he might feel something like empathy for you?

“Anything?” He smirked. But the tyrant ignored your pathetic request. “Do you feel better now, my dear?”

You nodded, unable to lie even if you had wanted to.

He chuckled and turned to leave. “Good. I’ll have someone sent down to get you out of these bonds.”

He’d let you go. It was over. You’d done it… Against all reason, you smiled, relief flushing your entire body.

Gortash’s Private Memoirs, No. 50

I spoke too harshly, perhaps. The tadpoles, just like I predicted, are doing fine, of course. They are stronger than ever and developed much quicker than even I anticipated. I will soon have some Black Gauntlets sent out to fetch some more subjects.

But this very first test subject…I found myself quite surprised I enjoyed holding her pleasure in my hands. After the insertion of the eggs, she turned into a helpless mess, completely defenceless. She practically begged me to fuck her. And I must admit, the sight of her slick sex did stir a fire in my loins. So I obliged. For I, Lord Enver Gortash, too have needs, do I not?

The girl did her job well. She was…as obedient as can be in her predicament. Such behaviour should be rewarded. Needless to say, she begged me to let her go after I had my fill of her. But I think I have a better idea. I have long been toying with the idea of getting myself a concubine to keep my bed warm at night. And after what I have put her through, she is way too terrified to cause me any trouble or pry into my business.

The plan will be as follows: Send the Banites in the Lower City and Rivington on a quest to find as many hosts as possible. Anyone with a uterus will do. They will focus on the poor and the few refugees that made it into the city, of course. These disappearances have to remain inconspicuous, after all.

Next, I will have the underground facility in the Upper City near the brain expanded and hire more servants (or slaves, whichever is at my disposal when the time comes) to take care of their well-being while they breed the eggs. As for the girl…she will be mine alone.

[merrybloomwrites]

HS4 at Midnight?

Summary: Harry's performance with Stevie Nicks has his fans wondering if HS4 will be announced soon. Little do they know that you and Harry have other exciting news to share.

Word Count: 770

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When Harry steps out wearing his suit, you get hit with a wave of nostalgia. It’s been nearly a year since he’s last been on stage, and what a year it’s been. So much has happened in your lives, and miraculously, Harry’s fans still haven’t figured it out. 

They’ll know soon, though. But the secret is safe for a little bit longer.

“Can you help with the pin?” He asks, and you quickly straighten the bird he’s wearing in honor of Christine. 

“How are you feeling?” you ask.

“Excited. And nervous. I always love singing with Stevie. But it’s been so long, and I just know my fans are gonna go crazy. It’s been so calm lately,” he answers.

“I know, I love our little bubble too. But I really think it’s the time to pop it, don’t you agree?”

“You’re right, as always,” he says and presses a kiss to your lips. 

After another few minutes you leave Harry’s side so he can head backstage. You join Gemma and the rest of Harry’s friends who are there to watch. 

When he comes onstage you stick close to his sister. You’ve become so close, especially lately, and you’re truly both a bit emotional watching Harry sing with one of his idols. Neither of you do a great job holding in the tears of overwhelming pride seeing him up on that stage.

After the show is over you and Harry head back home, choosing to ignore social media for the moment. But you can’t help checking the next day, and one thing in particular catches your eye.

“They’ve all got a theory,” you say to him, providing no context.

“Who?”

“Your fans. They seem to have noticed a pattern.”

“Ah, and what would that be?”

“That you always do a performance like this and then announce a new album right after. So far I’ve seen about twenty people saying ‘HS4 at midnight?’”

Harry laughs and replies, “Oh they have no idea what’s about to go down.”

You’re about to respond when a sound distracts you, pulling you away from the conversation. 

A few more days pass and you walk into the living room to see Harry on his phone, giggling and typing.

“What are you doing?” you ask. He doesn’t answer, just turns his phone to you so you can see what he’s up to. He’s on instagram, making a story to post to his main account. It’s just a black screen with the eyes emoji and the word “tomorrow”.

“Oh you are so mean,” you say, laughing right along with him. 

“It’s fun to tease them, just a little bit. And see all their theories. I wonder if anyone will guess right.”

“A couple might. I mean, most will guess new album but there will definitely be some who think differently.”

“We’ll know soon,” he says as he officially posts his story. The views come a second later, and within minutes people are posting all over the internet, excited to finally hear from Harry after a year away.

The two of you spend time that evening crafting the announcement post, choosing just the right pictures and caption. You hope that people won’t be disappointed, but try not to think about the potential negative responses. Rather, you and Harry focus on the excitement you know will come.

The next morning, after a quiet family breakfast, Harry looks over the post one last time before sharing it with the world. 

Under a series of photos of your beautiful family, all posed just right to hide your newborn daughter's face, is the caption “Baby Styles. Out now. This past year has been the most exciting time in my life. Becoming a father has been a truly wonderful experience. To my wife, thank you, thank you, thank you, for this gift. I am so impressed by you, so proud of the mum that you are, and I cannot wait for us to watch this little girl grow up together.”

For the rest of the day, you and Harry keep an eye on the comments while taking care of your two month old. As expected, some people are disappointed by the lack of new music, but the response is overwhelmingly positive. Everyone is excited that Harry is officially a girl dad, and the word ‘congratulations’ is written so many times it starts to look fake. 

That evening, you settle in for your favorite concert of all time. This one happens every night, and it’s just for you and your little one. As Harry croons to your daughter, you grow impossibly more fond of this man.

[iamthatonefangirl]

unrequited - harvey specter

now that i'm getting back into the hang of writing hopefully my work quality will improve from whatever this is

send fic ideas!!! all the love on my recent harvey posts is what's keeping me going

also i can only write angst because i am still desperately crushing on my coworker oops

~~~

Your relationship with Harvey was like a ticking time bomb. 

You knew that you couldn’t keep this up forever; your feelings for him were too intense. They kept you awake at night, and they kept you from being able to date other men you knew you could like if not for him. Your feelings boiled up inside you day in and day out, and you were forced to suppress them. Harvey Specter was not the relationship type. 

You loved him too deeply to think the feelings would just go away one day. No, you would have to cut them off at the source. And that meant leaving not only your firm, but also the city in which you had built your connections, your career, your entire life. All to get away from the one thing you wanted so badly it was beginning to destroy the rest of your life. 

He had so easily turned into the main character of your story; it was time to reclaim your position as the protagonist. But that meant outcasting him for good. 

~~

When you first started at Pearson Specter, now Specter Litt, you were one of the few associates who Harvey had ever chosen to work directly with him. Years of watching and picking up on how he operated allowed you to grow to your full potential as an attorney at the firm, and for that, you couldn't be more grateful. Which is why even though you no longer worked very closely with him, having been promoted to junior partner, you knew he would be upset to hear your news of departure. 

You didn’t want to think about how you would eventually have to quit returning his calls and effectively ghost him to get on with your life. 

You expected him to ask what you wanted in return for staying at the firm, and when you would turn down the offer, he would lash out at you. You would leave the office and wouldn’t hear from him again until he called you a month later to check in. This was how it always went with him; it wouldn’t be any different this time around. 

Monday morning came around eventually, no matter how much you willed it wouldn’t. Stepping into his office, you were rightfully nervous to broach the topic. “Harvey, do you have a minute?”

He glanced up at you from his desk before replying, “Do any of us around here have a spare minute?” You chuckled at his response and shut the door behind you. 

“I’m serious.” He shut his laptop and turned to you. You sat down in front of his desk, hands fidgeting and eyes darting back and forth between him and the files on his desk. 

“I’m here to give you my official notice.” 

The half-smile he wore when you first walked in shattered. It pained you to see, but you steeled yourself. You knew what to expect next; you just had to grit your teeth and bare through the conversation. 

“I’ve been working on finishing up my recent cases over the last few weeks, and so I’m giving you my two-week’s. I’ve already spoken to some of the other partners who have agreed to take over my cases going forward, and I’ll be giving notice to my clients this week.” 

He didn’t say anything at all. Now that was uncharacteristic of him. 

He soon gathered his thoughts. He averted his eyes as he told you, “No need. I’ll waive your non-compete. You can take your clients with you to wherever you’re going.” He shifted his gaze back to you. “Just answer me this, what did they offer you?”

You didn’t quite understand. “What do you mean?”

He had that serious look on his face, the one he always sported when he realized he was caught in a bind. “The firm you’re leaving me for. What did they offer you to get you to leave?”

“Harvey, they didn’t– I’m not–”

“Senior partner? A higher salary? Because all of those things can be arranged for here, you know that. Just say the word.” 

He may have been upset, but he could not possibly have understood how difficult this was for you. His words the firm you’re leaving me for couldn’t have been more true, you were leaving him; no matter how you tried to tell him, you reminded yourself he couldn’t know that.

You paused a moment to exhale before telling him the truth.  

“I’m not leaving to go to another firm, you don’t need to waive my non-compete.” 

His lips parted ever so slightly as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“I’m going home, Harvey. I’m leaving for San Francisco.” 

~~~

He had no idea what you were talking about. Home? How hadn’t this city become your home? This firm? Him? 

You rendered him temporarily speechless. He tried to offer you more and more incentive to stay, but you refused. 

“I’ll double your salary. I’ll give you a bigger bonus than you’ve ever seen in your life.” You declined. “I’ll promote you. You can be elected a senior partner within the week, and I’ll pay your buy-in fee.”

Why was he trying so hard to get you to stay?

No matter how enticing the offers he made you might have been, you had one goal in mind: protecting your peace. Protecting your future from a man who would continue to take more and more parts of you until you were nothing apart from him. You had to leave before you couldn’t find your way back without him. 

“Harvey, I’m leaving, That’s final.” You stood and began for the door. 

“How dare you?” You heard from behind you. 

Suddenly angered, you turned back to him, “Excuse me?”

“After everything I’ve done for you, you’re leaving, just like that. You’re going to drop everything just for some nostalgic memory of where you grew up?” 

“How dare you! Don’t you speak to me that way, Harvey. You have no idea why it is that I’m leaving!” You yelled back at him, finger pointing in his face. 

“So tell me!”

“You want the truth, Harvey? I’m in love with you. And I will never escape you any other way. So forget my two week’s notice. I’ll handle all my affairs from home. You’ll have my letter of resignation within the hour.” 

With what little dignity you felt you had left, you walked out of the room with your head held high. 

~~~

He had no idea, obviously. Of course he felt a connection to you; he trained you, taught you how the world of corporate law worked. 

How long had you felt that way? Is there something he could’ve done to avoid this whole situation? His most promising junior partner was leaving, and there was nothing he could do about it. It was his own fault entirely.

He was determined to get the chance to apologize when you came back with your resignation letter. He would straighten out the situation, explain that you could still work there. It wasn’t the end of the world. 

Of course, he got called away from his office for a period of time. The letter was there when he returned, and his hopes of keeping you were gone. 

~~~

You knew that in the books, the idea of people saying things in the heat of the moment were common occurrences. You didn’t think it could ever happen to you in real life, though. You intended for him to never discover this truth you hid from him. It was simpler that way.

But of course, you were wrong, and it all came out before you had a chance to bite your tongue. Now you had to clean out your desk quickly and say your goodbyes quietly. 

~~~

Three months later, you were settling into your new position. Since you anticipated spending another two weeks in New York, you had a whole month between your resignation and the time you were expected to start in California. 

You were finally starting to live your life more for yourself. You thought about Harvey less and less each day, until you could go out and meet another man without feeling like you were cheating on him. Crazy how you never got to call him yours, but still felt disloyal whenever you tried to go out with someone else while you were still in New York. 

Although you didn’t have the close relationship with your new supervisor that you had with Harvey, you felt welcomed and supported by your coworkers. You hated to admit that life was dull for a great number of weeks as you went through Harvey withdrawals, but it was true. Things were finally starting to get better until you got a knock on your door one day. 

~~~ 

You’d blocked Harvey’s number on your phone for a great many number of reasons. You never expected him to just show up at your new place, though.

“Harvey? What are you doing here?” you questioned.

“Can I come in?” You allowed it.

“You haven’t been taking my calls,” he pointed out to you, to which you replied, “I blocked you, Harvey. Why are you not in New York right now?”

“I needed to see you,” was his only response. And with just those five little words, all the work you’d done to get over him was erased. It allowed your mind to flood with ideas of him wanting you in any way other than professionally or platonically. Damn you, Harvey, you thought. 

“For what?”

“I want you to come back.” Unhelpful answer.

“Why?”

“You sure ask a lot of questions, don’t you? I want you to come back because I trained you, and you’re an asset to the firm that we’re losing out on.” 

“So you’re only here for a return on your investment in me.”

As you said that to him, he realized he fucked up. 

“Look, I didn’t mean–”

“Yes! You absolutely did! You show up here, out of nowhere, telling me that you need my skills to benefit the firm, not that you might just want me to come back. Not that maybe I myself am beneficial to the firm, or even that you just miss me! God, can you really not acknowledge what I told you the last time I saw you?” 

He paused. “Look, I know what you said. Yet still, I came.”

“And what does that mean, exactly? That you’ve suddenly come to terms with it and realized that you love me too?”

He didn’t respond at all. 

“I’m not coming back, Harvey. I need a life separate from you. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.” 

He shook his head in agreement. “I’m sorry I can’t be what you need me to be.” He turned towards the doorway and saw himself out as the tears started welling up in your eyes.  

Those were the last words you heard from him for a very long time. 

~~~

masterlist

[flutterrker]

Wield pet pt1

(f) Shark hybrid reader x Owner Izuku midoriya

Not my art

Warning: mentions abuse, Trafficking, fitting ring, Sexual assault, injury, Euphonizing, death, Arters note: my English is bad but I will try to fix it

It was a Nics day Todoroki and Deku were out patrolling the streets they hadn't been wakening long since they had just come from a meeting not too long ago but what was disgust in that meeting had Deku deep in thought about the report Bakugo had about the hybrid fitting ring he Bustad not too long ago and how most of those hybrids were going to be put down because they were too aggressive to keep and that some people involve in the incident had escaped Deku only snapped out of it when he felt a hand on his soldier looking over at Todoroki he sow his worried expression Deku smile at him to reassure him that he was ok but he know it wouldn't hold him for long he needed a distraction "hey I think we can go take our lance Break now oh and we are pretty close to this cafe I like "he says to Todoroki how just nods and follow him to the cafe

They get there Eventually and get Seated at a boof in the far corner as they settle in Todoroki looks at Deku and starts to speak "Is something bordering you, you look upset" Deku shakes his head no but before he can get a word out his phone rings picking up the phone he sow a number he didn't rcognize and pressing the Answer button and pots it Against his ear to listens "good morning am I Speaking to Mister Midoriya" a sweet voice asked him he Post for a moment before Answering " yes this is hem" " Great I'm calling from the hybrid shelter about you applying to Adopt a hybrid and I'm proud to Anons that it has been Approved " " oh ok when can I come and take a look " he asked in an Excitedly " later today if you want but if not we ca- " he cut her off before she could finish speaking "No! Today is good I'll come over later today " cringed at how Awkward he was being "Well that great to hear Such enthusiasm from a Potential hybrid owner then we will see you later today Mister Midoriya " "Yes Thank you so much see You guys soon," he says Practically jumping out of his seat " see you soon " Izuku ends the call unaware that Todoroki was watching him closely " exciting news I assume, " Todoroki asked Curiosity getting the better of him Izuku nods " I Applied to a hybrid Adoption Agency to see if I can get a hybrid " "hmm why not just get a normal animal like a cat or dog I hear hybrid are High maintenance pets and need a lot of attention,"

Izuku nods "Well To be honest, I never wanted to own a hybrid but I've been thinking about it for a well now, and after today's meeting it steels it for me I never even realized how badly they were treated by humans after the hybrid fitting ring was taken out all of those Innocent hybrids that were caught and sent to the hybrid shelter are all Scheduled to be euthanized, " " I heard about that on the news too it's terrible they are Punishing the hybrid that only follows their master's orders " Izuku nods and looks Todoroki in the eyes "Yeah they say the reason is that they are so aggressive that they can't even get close enough to train them "It was silent for a moment before Izuku spoke again "So I've decided that even if it is just one that can be rescued from the system it's at least one step into the right direction and it might inspire other people to adopt a hybrid as well and bring Awareness to the dangers of hybrid trafficking, " Izuku says with a small smile

Todoroki smiled and was reminded of how kind Izuku was but Izuku has always been a kind person and it made Todoroki proud to call Izuku his friend no matter what happened to him, he had always seen the best in all people no matter what "If you don't mind me asking could I come with you I would like to see the tip of hybrid you might Choose" Todoroki asked Izuku smiled back and nodded " yeah! I don't mind and we can Catch up on things" " I would like that " he said smelling "but I think if I do find a hybrid and adopt I'm going to take some time off to spend with it you know like bonding or getting to know One another but for now let's eat up and get back to work the faster we get this done the faster we can go yeah " Izuku says as Todoroki nods Agree

One patrol and a few Pity crimes take down later and Izuku and Todoroki are at the front gate of the hybrid Adoption center they park the car near the building and are Greeted at the glass doors by a woman wearing a uniform " Greetings Mister Midoriya and Mister Todoroki I have been waiting for you my name is Mary willow I'm the Director of the pup cup Adoption and rescue facilities hope you didn't have any trouble getting her " " No not atoll Was it you that I was speaking to earlier " Izuku asked she nods " yes it was and I must say it is a pleaser to meet you bout and we have a lot of new friends that would love to meet you so let's get this meet and greet started sheal we follow me please " she said smiles and Tuning around Leading them inside and in the directions of the kennels

They walked around looking at all the hybrids from bunnies to Birds but noticed that most if not all of the hybrids were pups and not Fully grown hybrids like Izuku hoped the Director noticed that nothing whose Catches he's eye so she Derek's theme to the Exotic hybrids Wing of the building there they see tigers, lepers, fish and some reptiles that are Unfortunately all still pups that is until they get to the last kennel" well that's everyone if you need a Minet to decide I can live and come back or you can just find me at the front desk " "what about that last one " he asked walking towards it "oh that one " she side looking inside he sow a shark hybrid that is fully grown has a muzzle on and looks to be in bad shape with all the Scratches and bruises they can see it looked like you had gotten into a bad faith

As Izuku got close he heard the Director speak " And that is y/n she is not up for adoption " She said Izuku frowned in confusion and looked back at her but before he could ask why she specked first "That one is from the fitting ring and is Scheduled to be euthanized "he stopped and looked at her for a minute and started speaking "When will they euthanize her" "Tomorrow Though it is a real shame to see because it is not her fault she's like this it is the people's fault for putting her through that trauma and Yet the hybrids pay the price " she said looking at the hybrid in the cage with a sad expression "we'll if that is all I will leave you to it to decide what lucky hybrids get to leave and live with the number one hero in Japan com find me at the front desk when you're ready but in the meantime feel free to look around I'm sure you'll find something" she says before turning around and walking away living Izuku and Todoroki allows to Stew in their Foughts

"Midoriya what hybrid are you going to take " Todoroki asked Izuku shrugged his soldier still looking at you in the kennels Trying to get your attention but nothing was working not kissing noises not calling your Name and not Throwing small rocks near you. you just sit there looking at the floor that is until Todoroki opens his water bottle the sound made you move your eyes for just a split second, but Izuku noticed it " hey, are you thirsty you want some water? " he asked and saw you were slowly looking in his Derkson he noticed the other side of your face had a Giant bruise he also noted how every time you moved you may a Pained experience it was subtle but it was there and he noticed it as he takes out his water bottle and sprinkles some water out on the floor to show you it was water it took you a Minet to start moving slowly standing up and walk as Beast as you could to them pouting more pressure on one Leg to avoid pouting pressure on your rite foot when you got closer to them you slid down the Bars to sat on your legs wincing in pain slowly you stuck your hand hesitantly throw the Bars of the cage to Reach for the bottle Izuku was holding for you, you look so wired it was like you were expecting him to do something but sow the relief in your eyes when he handing it to you slowly to not spook you took it and broth it up to your mouth to drink but intend of poring it into your mouth you stuck out your tongue

lapping at the water with your long tongue drinking it quickly Izuku watch you for a while seeing how matted your hair was and how dirty and tired you look at least you weren't skin and bones but Stull to skinny for his liking

Izuku shat there for a mined or two before stood up and started walking to the reception disk Todoroki followed Behind him Quietly wanting to see what happened next as they approached the waiting room Izuku saw the Director working at the front desk walking up to her Izuku said in an emotionless town

" I want the shark hybrid " " No" " please I'll pay extra " " I said no Mister Midoriya " "Why -" " Because Mister Midoriya she is not for sale " " so instead of letting her find a proper family to adopt her you would rather let them put her down " he said in Ange " No that is not the reason Mister midor- " " then what is " she sighs and says in a calm voice" Mister Midoriya I don't want to put her down but she is too dangerous to freely walk around and the people from the hybrid fitting ring are still out there looking for the hybrid they trained and she is the last one that needs to be euthanized I don't want to do this to her either but I don't want her to Software Anymore" he was quiet for a minute thinking of a way to convince her he could not only keep you safe and have the Schell to train you "What are you saying that the number one hero can't protect one single hybrid " Todoroki Piped up "No that's not what I meant -" "Please I just can sit here and do nothing I'm a hero and I believe I can provide a safe investment for her to live in Maybe if she doesn't feel so frightened she'll be easier to train and less Aggravated and aggressive" she looked at the two men utterly defeated before sighing and handing him the adoption paperwork " I'm not doing this for you I'm doing it for her she deserves to be happy too and to Experience a loving family as well," she said in a sad tone of voice " go take a seat Mister Midoriya and when you're done I'll Brief you on her history " Midoriya nods feeling tears in his eyes but Wipes them away

Once the paperwork is done he walks back up to her and hands her the paperwork she Pages true it and nods " Mister Todoroki please Stay here in the waiting room well I brief Mister Midoriya on his new partner " Todoroki nods and takes a set and pools out his phone to pass the time" This way Mister Midoriya " he followed her to a small room with a Disc and two chairs" please take a seat Mister Midoriya " he sits in the chair across from her she hands him a folder White your name on it he opens the document in it he reeds

Name: Y/n

Tip of hybrid: hybrid shark Mix between a thresher shark and bull shark

Temperament: (bad) Aggressive to humans, hybrids, and animals

Class: Aquatic

How common the species is : Rare

Age: estimated to be 20

Sex: female

Facilities: pup cup Adoption and rescue facilities

Date of arrival: 2027/6/18

Previous owner: unknown

Note from therapist: we sent in a hybrid Specialist to see if we could Sedate her to Administer First-aid to her wounds but were Unsuccessful as she refused to calm down enough to give it to her, I concluded that she is deathly afraid of being pinned down

Injury report: due to her having a muzzle on she has Resorted to slamming her whole body into the staff to pin them between her and the walls she Injured a few staff members and broke several staff members' ribs and arms by slamming them as hard as possible can against the wall

Note from hybrid Specialist: we tried to feed her to see if she would let us get close to At least check her eyes for Enya's signs of blindness safe to say she is not going blind we Took off the muzzle To give her some food but were shocked at the Violent Reaction she had to human snarling and hissing but not outright attacking the is until a staff member got to close for her liking

Injury report: when the muzzle was Removed, we gave her a bowl of fruits she Ignores it and kept sleeping until we went to Replace the bowl, and she Launched forward and bit down onto Mister Kenneth's hand and Thor his point finger middle finger and fume off

he was rushed to the hospital to receive medical attention they Informed us they could not re-attached the fingers he reserved 20 Stitches

Police report: she was Found in a Flooded basement and Changed to the floor with at least 9 hybrids and 3 human corpses in the water she was Sedated and pulled out but a few minutes later woke up and started attacking the offices we Tried to subdue her but in the struggle she killing 2 men in the process we opened five 5 rounds 3 Connected 6 more were fired before Red Riot and Dynamite Showed up and Pin her down muzzled her and Administering a larger Those of tranquilizer she was then Transportation to the Nearest hybrid VT

Medical report: since of Physical and Sexual abuse

Bullets were removed from the Shoulder, stomach, and thigh she also had three broken ribs one broken leg torn muscles, a Fraction ligament, a nasty infection in her Gills located on either side of her chest under the arms what seems to be lashes made from Being whipped by Metal Wire as well as Multiple cuts made by a Knife a yeast infection swelling and redness to her Genetics an upsetting amount of bruising on her arms, legs, stomach, chest, neck, and back

Note for doctors:we tried to give her medical attention but came no fader than treating her scraps and stitching up her cuts

Note: is Scheduled to be euthanized on 29 August 2027

Izuku closed the Document and was quiet for a minute Thinking how someone could do all those things to someone and not care how you're hurting them " Do you still want her it ok to back out it is a big commitment to own a hybrid " Izuku was drag back to Reality when she asks him that question "Yes I still want her" She smiled and nodded "Well if you have your heart set on her I'll need you to sign These documents here, here, and here and I'll come in a year to do a wellness check "she said smiles Izuku nodded and read the Terms of conditions before sighing she smiled a little bit more knowing you'll go to a good home "and we are done here is your free Complimentary harness and Leash and I'm obligated to tell you when walking her in public she has too keep her muzzle on atoll time except on private property now let's see if we can get her out of her kennel " " what before we do that I have a Question if she is too Aggressive to be near people how do I get the Medicine she needs " she stopped and smiled at him " I'll make an appointment with a friend of mine to come to you he Specializes in hybrid medicine and marine life as well he can take a look at her Broken bones for you too"

They walked out of the room and back in the direction of where your kennels were when they got there, they saw you sleeping from the gate on the floor the Director handed Izuku a blanket to wrap you in she slowly moved to the door, and unlocked it so Izuku could enter

As he Crouched down to pick you up you French from his soft Touch, he stopped for a moment waiting for you to relax you Stirred a bit before going back to sleep Izuku Gentle picked you up and wrapped the blanket around you snuggle to keep you from Kicking and keep you warm

Izuku Adjusted his arms to hold you more Comfortably before walking back out of the kennel with you now sleeping comfortably in his arms head on his soldier hands under your knees and the small of your back Izuku felt confident enough to move with you in his arms without waking you up

Walk to the waiting room Izuku Spotted Todoroki and walked up to him holding you Close to his chest Todoroki smiled at him and stood up to greet him and see what hybrid he got "You got the hybrid you want " he asked Izuku nodded "I just couldn't leave her here " " oh that reminds me could you drive me home my hands are Kind of full at the moment "Izuku asked with a Bright smile and a Smole blush on his cheeks "Why don't you just put her down " he asked confused why Izuku Couldn't drive "I'm Scared of waking her up "he nodded "ok I'll drive "

" om my God I don't even realize how long we've been in there for, "Izuku says Todoroki nods "It did take a while," Todoroki said well opening the door for Izuku to get in Carefully to not wake you up as he sits in the passenger seat Todoroki Buckles his seat belt for him as izuku waiting for Todoroki to come around the car to the driver's seat Izuku looks down at you and thinks to himself (I don't have a room ready for her I'm going to have to leave her alone for an Hour or two so I can find a nesting bed for her and close oh God look at that hear it's all matted I'll have to as my mom for some Atvi's abbot hear and get you medicine I'll need to study up on the species if I want to properly take care of her ) " Midoriya you babbling again "Izuku stopped and looked at him and then out the window (when did we start diving and when did we get so close to my house) ' Izuku thinks to Himself sighs in frustration when they pool into the driveway Todoroki got out first to open the door for Izuku

Finally getting to the door, Izuku held you in one hand and pulled out his house. Keys opened the door and walked in to the house he went right to the guest room and pulled out a futon for you to sleep in for now until he could get a proper nesting bed for you

He Laid you down Gently and covered you with the blanket "Your safe now sleep tight we have a long day tomorrow " said Izuku before walking out and meeting with Todoroki taking him for coming over and helping bring you back they said their goodbye close the door as the lock Kicked Izuku slid down the door and sighs in Exhaustion he just sat there for a minute or two before getting up sitting at a disk and doing some research on shark hybrid apparently when they side you were rare they meant rare as in there were only five ever record in Japan in the US there where ten in existents but udder then that there wasn't much to go off of (guess I'm staying up late tonight)

12:51 pm

Slowly he began to drift off to sleep straggling to continue reading the article he found bobbing his head to Stay upright his eyes closed for what felt like a minute but was more like an Hour before he was out like a Light, he slept on his desk that night face planned in a book snoring Lightly

Tomorrow will be better

[hopalongfairywren]

HElllo hi i heard you were willing to ramble about egg lore? (<- knows nothing about egg lore but somehow ended up writing a fic about the egg and i need to pay for my sins)

Oh boy. Where do we fucking BEGIN! (This answer will be late and probably go on so many side tangents) Alright, so I'm just gonna recap the "smaller" events leading up to and surrounding the early part of the egg lore first. The Egg arc was so long I could probably make several long posts JUST for recapping the general events that happened in roughly chronological order as well as important tidbits to the egg lore. That's assuming either the ADHD spurred motivation fuel I'm running on while writing this doesn't dry up, or that I get the kind of motivation to write more posts this long from other asks like this. I'll also try to do more seperate posts on the more lore analysis-y side of the egg arc. So like how the egg's story was impacted on a more meta scale by the way the dsmp's story over all was being played out at the time by its' creators, the implications of its existance in both dsmp fanon and canon... IF I'm motivated to that is.

The Egg arc began when c!Badboyhalo found the "egg" in his statue room, which he was digging out to make way from the Dreamon Hunters (totally different lore plot, but that's for another niche dsmpblr blog) He soon showed it to c!Sam and c!Dream, and for context those two had been terraforming a part of the SMP close by the Badlands and therefore the statue room in order for Sam to complete the giant mega prison Dream had hired him to construct.

Bad was immediately drawn to the "egg" (which was called that because of it's shape and not because at that point it was confirmed the thing was an egg), where as both Dream and Sam were immediately weirded out by Bad's sudden affinity for it and the own bad vibes it gave off to both of them. Shortly after leaving the statue room, they spotted red vines growing by first by Hutt's Pizza - and then shortly after at Bad and Skeppy's mansion. This was extra concerning because they reasoned no player could have spread those growths up there on the surface, to those two different locations, in the time they were all down in the cave. This creeped Dream out enough he tried to manually remove the growth at the pizza place. This caused Bad to become agressive and he attacked Dream for 'hurting it', reasoning that the vines were beautiful. And it spread even more rapidly after that, with red vines being spotted growing around Jschlatt's grave, even on the Power Tower in L'manberg. Bad became even more attached to the egg and it's various offshoots, even nicknaming the egg "baby".

At this point most people on the server who interacted with the egg were, understandably were uncomfortable with the rapid spread of the vines and Bad's weird devotion to it. (Execptions to that being c!Puffy, c!Ponk and c!Antfrost who agreed with him) Bad and Ant eventually both started hearing voices from the egg, commanding them to spread the vines even further, while Puffy also started exhibiting the extreme fawning and obsession over the egg at that point. (She nicknamed it Eggy) Bad and Ant actively started spreading the vines; at c!Punz's tower and Sam's base. They also started urging other people to follow them back to where the Egg's main structure was, presumably in order to persuade more people over to becoming obsessed with said Egg. Sam tried putting a stop to this by trying to move the egg's structure physically, but he was stopped by Bad and Ant. The conflict was broken up when Punz came over, and remarked that he found the egg strange but "ultimately harmless." (Punz later elaborated that he was actually neutral on the egg and leaning towards viewing it as a potential threat, but to avoid direct conflict just wanted to see how everything would unfold. He also refused a proposal from Sam to fight Bad and Ant should the need arise.) Ponk was yet another case of someone initially opposing the egg but coming to view it favoriably. He had seemingly mixed opinions for a while, admiring the beauty of the vines but also being creeped out by the degree of devotion Bad, Ant and Puffy were showing to the egg over all. Ponk Eventually went to visit the Egg's main room and actually touched it. Like Bad and Ant, he reported hearing the egg make audible noises. Unlike Sam and Ant, he did not apperantly hear distinct words but rather "growling". Overtime, Ponk started referring to the egg as beautiful as well. Also he too began pushing for Sam to "join the egg" Leaving off here, with the next post (if it happens) being on the canonical timeline of events leading to most of the egg's followers disinfecting at that point, until probably the establishment of the proper eggpire. And then the red banquet of course gets it's own special post.

[theladyheroine]

Predictions for the Sonic Cinematic Universe! 💙

❥ Hey everyone! So this post will be similar to my TMNT version, where I’ll just be guessing characters that could come in later movies or TV shows. Thank you & I hope you enjoy!

Silver the Hedgehog 🤍

Silver’s time to shine! Hopefully (lol) but I really hope he’s in the series soon! Since he’s one of the main members of the Hedgehog trio, as well as one of the protagonist in a major Sonic game, I feel he’ll fit in just fine! While I understand his debut didn’t go so well back in 2006, I think he has a big enough fan base to back him up too. Plus, Silver’s just so sweet & cool!

A time-traveling event would be such a great concept for a big film! Similar to the Rise of the TMNT movie, Silver could be an Older! Sonic’s apprentice from the future. Maybe something goes wrong and Silver has to travel back in time to fix it or warn Sonic.

As for portrayals, I like Silver the way he is but since he doesn’t show up too often, there could be ways to develop his personality a bit. While he’s very friendly, maybe making him shy or a little more hesitant than the other characters would fit. Since he might not have alot of heroic experience, Sonic might take on another mentor-ish/big brother role.

Rouge the Bat 💎

I know everyone wants Rouge in the Sonic movies and I do too! While she didn’t show up in the Knuckles series, she would make a great deuteragonist in the show later on! Or as a potential side character in the films! Although she would be a funny contrast to Knuckles with his stubborn, intimidating nature vs her laidback attitude.

Much similar to Shadow, posing as a former antagonist would do well for her, but Rogue feels more of a “mean girl” character than a big bad villain. Especially given her recent history in Sonic media. At the very least, she could be a jewel thief or treasure hunter who’s looking for the Master Emerald, but then decides to help everyone instead.

Continuing the “mean girl” perspective, a Movie version of Rouge would likely be interested in—well—her own interests. 😅 She knows what she wants & goes after it, but if it’s unavailable she might throw a fit… This could balance out Knuckles though if they interact, since he’s a lot more grounded but very loyal to everyone. Especially his allies!

Team Chaotix 🔎

These are characters I’m also very excited for! Ecstatic even! But since they come as a trio, there’s more to work with in adapting them for a film or TV show. Although they did have a cameo in the prequel comics! So hopefully that’s a sign!

Story-wise I think it would be a good opportunity to reunite the Chaotix with Knuckles! Plus they have some big in-game history with him in their first game, so it would be cool to have some sort of big mystery for them all to solve! Wade could tag along too & maybe the Chaotix become official detectives in Green Hills.

For personalities I think they would all be relatively the same, but I would LOVE to see Vector get into old noir films! Maybe try a few funny quips from the 1940s, only to say them wrong. 😅

Espio would be the type of character to just pop up out of no where all the time, like a true ninja! I also want to hear him with a Japanese voice actor, that I feel is just very fitting.

Since Charmy is already a hyperactive character, his energy could be a good contrast to Tails since they’re around the same age. Plus you got Colleen O'Shaughnessey doing two characters!

Tikal 🧡

Now I was a little unsure about Tikal appearing in the SCU considering she doesn’t appear very often & doesn’t reoccur either. But this could give her a chance to shine! Since she has big ties with Knuckles in the games, I think she could have at the very least a cameo or some kind of mention.

Her portrayal would be more fitting in the Knuckles TV show if they ever did a season 2 maybe. Since it mostly focuses on him, Tikal could be another ancestral spirit. Or if they really wanted to go big she could be another tribe member looking for Echidnas! That would be awesome!

Now all I really know about Tikal personality-wise is that she’s gentle & sweet! Her presence would be a nice addition to the cast; someone calming since the others can be very “upfront” with their abilities. Especially Sonic & Knuckles!

Thank you everyone for listening! Have a good day/night! ☀️🌖

[bubblez-bubble]

I've been thinking a lot about this comment on my first NaLu headcanon post and the ova that this person is talking about and came up with a different idea for how this loop started. Thank you to @kitsun369 for bringing this up and giving me a couple ideas for another headcanon!

Also, if you haven't seen all the OVA's or at least OVA 3 that's being referenced here, then

SPOILER WARNING!

In one of Fairy Tails first OVAs, the main 4 are in the library of the guild hall reorganizing some books and talking about the scar on Natsu's neck and Natsu wondering who it was that gave it to him swearing he'd kick his butt if he ever saw him again. (SPOILER alert! It was him.)

Not long after he says this, one of the books starts glowing, and then the team finds themselves some years before the current time back to when they were all children. Natsu and Gray go to find the guy who scarred Natsu and Erza and Lucy go off to stay out of trouble.

Along the way, Erza and Lucy get separated, and then Lucy sees a runaway carriage, and despite potentially changing the future, she decides to save the carriage and its passenger. While saving the carriage, we see the passenger notices Lucy's guild mark on her hand right before she stops the carriage. As soon as she stops it, she runs away hearing people coming to check on the carriage, still trying not to be seen by anyone she may know.

After she runs away, the carriages passenger steps out, and we see it's actually Lucy as a child. It was this moment that defined who Lucy wanted to be and where she wanted to go in life.

But as we all know, everything has to start from something, including a time loop. (Time loop in this case, meaning every time they've gone back in time and altered their fates in the book.)

Replying to the comment above, I said the same thing and vaguel suggested that possibly the first time the loop was started that maybe Lucy had decided to join Fairy Tail of her own fruition without influence and her guild marks color did originally have to do with Natsus hair. Like if she just became a fan seeing them in sorcerer weekly or something and decided to join from that. Or maybe she just ran into Natsu, he decided she was perfect for the guild and brought her along anyway and thats how she ended up with a guild mark the same color as Natsu's hair (out of gratitude). But the more I thought about it, the less I was satisfied with that answer.

So I'd like to rewrite my answer and put out a headcanon all in one.

In the first loop, Lucy had NEVER JOINED FAIRY TAIL.

Hear me out.

If Lucy was the reason Lucy joined Fairy Tail, then what about the very first time Natsu and the others went back in time for Natsus scar (but of course there is no scar before the first time but i do have another headcanon for that for later). Like I said, everything comes from something, so if they had never gone back in time before the first time, then how did Lucy come to want to join Fairy Tail as a child?

The answer is she didn't because she didn't have that influence until that first time back.

The very first time they went back in time, it was just Natsu, Erza, and Gray.

But if that's the case, who saved Lucy's carriage?

Natsu, of course.

Because Lucy couldn't be there to save the carriage or her younger self, someone else would have had to do it.

So when Natsu saw an out of control carriage barreling through town, of course he had to help and stop it.

So this time, when Lucy's hero and inspiration saved her, instead of seeing a pink guild mark and a few strands of blonde hair, she saw a red guild mark and pink hair.

But then why wouldn't she just get a red guild mark?

Because pink is one of her favorite colors and it happened to be the color of the hair of the wizard that saved her.

So she grew up to join Fairy Tail and eventually became part of the loop, causing Lucy's memories to change into believing a Fairy Tail wizard with a pink guild mark saved her instead, morphing her idea about the pink guild mark.

While this is far-fetched and doesn't explain why she got it on her hand instead, (maybe originally because it was the easiest for her to see and reminded her of what had been done for her?) but the more I thought about it the more I liked this version of my explanation about her guild mark better.

But this also opens up a totally other possibility that before Natsu went back and saved her, Lucy may have very well died as a child from the accident and that's why she didn't join as an adult before she was saved the first time. A much darker headcanon, but still one of the many possibilities for how it could have played out before she was saved by her older self.

But then, if Natsu did save her, then what happened when the 3 returned to the present?

They were probably greeted by Lucy who was now a member of their guild and is none the wiser to what had happened and the other 3 are just confused about what had been changed that this random girl they've never met is suddenly a member of their guild and their team. So they ask her who she is and she thinks they're joking, but they genuinely have no idea who this girl is or where she came from. So they ask her how she joined Fairy Tail, to which she responds with "Natsu brought me here because it's been my dream every since I was saved by a Fairy Tail wizard as a little girl. You guys know that."

And that's when it clicks for Natsu, so naturally, he responds, "Oh yeah, I remember now." Confusing the other 2 who he later tells what happened when he saved the carriage and believes that this random girl is the one he saved when they went back in time.

But the more I'm thinking about it, the more complicated it's getting and the more details I'm coming up with, and it's starting to make my brain hurt, so imma leave it there.

Totally worth the hours I've racked my brain over it, though.

[kafus]

why 100%ing the pokeathlon in HGSS is one of the longest challenges in all of pokemon

ok so the pokeathlon right. the fun minigame collection in HGSS that is sort of but not really a replacement for sinnoh contests. one of the achievements you have to get to upgrade the HGSS trainer card to 5 stars is beating all 10 preset records for each minigame in the pokeathlon, and this is probably what it's most known for outside of just being a fun minigame collection. i think most people beat all the records if they're going for completion and call it a day but despite how easy it is to get that trainer card level, it's actually barely scraping the surface of what this game expects out of you for 100% completion. i genuinely think it's one of the most insane pokemon challenges in terms of the amount of grinding and for WHAT??? WHAT WERE THEY THINKING AAAAA

okay deep breath hear me out. all of the images in this post are pictures of one of my own HGSS files that i have been slowly working on 100% completing the pokeathlon in. i am not done yet and you will soon see why

in the basement of the pokeathlon, there are four rooms that get progressively unlocked as you play. the first one ("solidarity room") is there at default, then you unlock the "trust room" by winning a medal in all five courses at least once, then you unlock the "potential room" by winning a medal for all five courses on the same pokemon (AKA what is called a "medalist pokemon"), and then lastly you unlock the "friendship room" by beating all the preset 1st records, which also gets you the aforementioned trainer card level. each of these rooms is there to display various pokeathlon achievements and holy shit there are a lot of them that just get more crazy as you go further back in the rooms so BUCKLE UP

this is the solidarity room, aka the first room. very easy stuff, the only records down here are in the glass case and they show your highest collective score in each of the five pokeathlon courses. for 100% completion of this room you need to get a score of at least 450 in each course and you can tell you've done this when there are two trophy icons filled in next to each on the right hand side. a couple examples:

the only one in particular that took me more than one or two attempts to get the score i needed was the jump course for some reason and i have no idea why honestly, i think i just suck at lamp jump. on the other hand the skill course is extremely easy entirely because snow throw can be cheesed (video of me doing this here)

next up is the trust room. mainly it features the glass case that shows off every pokemon you've ever received a medal on and also totals how many full medalist pokemon you have, as shown below (i don't currently have any pokemon who AREN'T medalists here, but medalist pokemon are given the red ribbon on the bottom screen, so any non-medalist pokemon won't have that icon):

yes i have 73 medalist pokemon at the time of writing this post. don't worry about the trophies right now, we're going to talk about it later

despite the glass case being the main thing here, the flag, jersey, and golden shoes on the back wall aren't actually there at first. they show up for accomplishing certain things. from left to right you have to switch 200 times in any minigame that requires swapping mons, join the pokeathlon (not necessarily win) 50 times, and dash in any minigame where you flick the stylus to dash 5000 times. these numbers might sound kind of high but it's potatoes compared to later and if you're trying to 100% the pokeathlon these will just naturally show up here eventually without you even thinking about it

amusingly after you get them and interact with them, it doesn't actually tell you what you did to get them there lol. it's just like wow! those are yours! crazy!

next up, the potential room: yet another glass case and a couple of tables on the back for more golden items that appear as you achieve stuff. the glass case this time contains all the records for each individual minigame, including those 1st records you have to beat as i've mentioned a few times.

here are some of my records that i am not so subtly taking the opportunity to show off here lol. i have played so much pokeathlon that all of the 1st records are completely gone from the list, i've overwritten the entire list from each event LOL. on the bottom screen, 1st records you've beaten get a little ribbon on the event icon... but hold on, there's trophies too!

yes there's actually two records to beat for each event, the one that gives you the little trophy is called the mastery record and some of them, unlike the 1st records, are actually pretty damn difficult to achieve. circle push requires 60 points for example, which requires you to get a score of at least 60 - and the theoretical highest score you can get, aka a perfect score, is 66!! that's only 6 points off from perfect!! and don't even get me started on pennant capture, imo it's by far the hardest mastery record, it requires you to pick up 50 entire flags in one game and for a variety of reasons this is very difficult and required me to soft reset over and over doing attempts for multiple hours lol. the mastery records are really where i'm like, damn as a kid with undeveloped motor skills this would make me fucking explode (and it did when i was a child. it almost did even as an adult. fuck pennant capture)

oh yeah btw that "Link" button in the top right is specifically for local wireless playing pokeathlon with friends and there are zero achievements related to it, there's no preset records and no local play is required for completion. figured i'd mention lol

anyway as for the two things in the back, the first with the golden pokegear is for 100 first place wins overall and the one i don't have on the right side is for winning each individual minigame/event in first place... 50 times. 50 times each. there's 10 individual minigames, and some of them don't repeat on any other course, so you can start imagining just how many pokeathlon playthroughs this takes. this is getting ridiculous considering the amount of time investment needed but it Gets Worse!

ah yes the last room. the friendship room. it's cute, it has a statue of you and the last three pokemon you won the pokeathlon with, so you can go in with a team of 3 pokemon you care about and take a photo of your screen surrounded by statues of your favorite guys. here the mons are just random though lol

however there's more to this room and this is where the true insanity of the pokeathlon reveals itself. if you interact with your statue, you get this screen:

as you can see, all of the trophies from the previous rooms are totaled here! the collective trophies are the ones from getting a good score on each course from the solidarity room, the trust trophies are from the amount of medalist pokemon you have shown off in the trust room, the potential trophies are from all the 1st records and mastery records you've beaten in the trust room, and the friendship trophies... well those are actually obtained from the big point score on the top screen, of which you need a minimum of 4500 to get the 10th and final friendship trophy. this total is made up of the sum of all five course high scores, the highest score from each individual minigame (after converting to athlete points, AKA the currency earned), and one point per each medal shown off in the trust room, so five points for each medalist pokemon.

and that's the issue. medalist pokemon. you may have noticed that despite me having a whopping 73 medalist pokemon at the moment as well as getting every other trophy in the pokeathlon, i only have 6 of the 10 trust trophies. do you know how many medalist pokemon you need to 100% the pokeathlon and get that last trust trophy? 200 OF THEM.

let me break down why this is fucking ridiculous. so first of all i've been waiting to mention this until now, but medalist pokemon aren't actually logged by individual pokemon, they're logged by species. this means if you go in with a cyndaquil, and then go in with a different cyndaquil, winning medals on both cyndaquils does not count as more medals after you've already gotten them on that first cyndaquil once. this means that to even attempt getting 200 medalist pokemon, you have to OWN 200 individual pokemon species - as of gen 4 there were 493 pokemon in the national dex including mythicals and stuff; that's a little under half the entire fucking pokedex!! think of it this way, there's 30 pokemon per PC box, and assuming no duplicates, you would need to fill 6 and 2/3 PC boxes with different pokemon species.

pokedex requirement aside, let's break down how many times you have to play the pokeathlon minigames MINIMUM assuming you win first place every single time and don't ever bring repeat species on accident. it's math time babey

you need 200 medalist pokemon but you join the pokeathlon with a team of 3 pokemon at a time, so let's divide that by three and round upwards. 200 / 3 = 67 full medalist runs. for each medalist, you have to beat all 5 courses, so let's multiply 67 by 5 to get 335 total pokeathlon wins. but wait, each course has three minigames! so the total amount of minigames you have to play MINIMUM to get 200 medalist pokemon is 1005. and again, that's at minimum assuming you don't fuck anything up!! these minigames aren't exactly short either, they last 1-2 minutes each and this doesn't count spamming A through dialogue and menus, picking your pokemon each time before each course, watching the cutscene of points getting totaled at the end... 1-2 minutes might sound short but even if we take out all that time menuing and assuming every course is JUST 1 minute for math's sake, that's 1005 minutes - that's 16 hours and 45 minutes of JUST pokeathlon gameplay, and that is absolutely an underestimate.

as you can imagine as a person with chronic pain these minigames are kind of painful after a while and so i'm definitely going slow with this grind but i intend to have every trust trophy eventually. i'm not the first to do it but i've seen very few people online who have even wanted to make the attempt and i want to be able to look at that friendship trophy screen and feel accomplished. (i'm also going to get that last achievement in the potential room but if i don't have it somehow at the end of getting all these medalists i'll worry about it then)

side note i think it's really funny how there's something called the Supreme Cup which is just pokeathlon but harder and the only thing worth doing it for is extra athlete points for winning (300 instead of 100), there's literally 0 achievements tied to it lol

oh, and an aside about how ridiculous the pokeathlon is - the data cards. despite all my rambling here about all these different rooms with various achievements, there's actually even more pokeathlon data that is accessible... for a price.

the lady behind the counter here will sell you data cards for athlete points which let you view more personal pokeathlon data on the computer screen right next to her. the issue is some of these are really expensive, most of them 1000 points or more, which is a minimum of two full pokeathlon courses probably won at first place each. and there's also one card that costs 9999 for some fucking reason, it's the one that shows your total pokeathlon playtime, which i think is really funny. you also can't buy it right away, you have to buy most of the prior ones first. they really said ok here's your reward for grinding enough AP to buy all those data cards including this 9999 one: checking how much time you've wasted on getting here! in total getting all the data cards costs 39499 AP. just to view all your data!! if you get an average of 500 AP per pokeathlon course, that's a minimum of like 79 pokeathlon wins!!

i assume most people have never bought a data card much less all of them, like most people are going to use all that AP for purchasing evolution stones and heart scales from the main shop on the right, but it's kind of nutty how much data the pokeathlon actually saves. very minute stuff. since i've bought all of them, here's my current stats at the time of writing this:

anyways don't do this unless you have a lot of time on your hands to tediously replay the same minigames hundreds of times, and if you do for the love of god rest your wrists btw. these minigames were not built for my bones and they probably weren't for you eitherSFDKSFD

[cherrirui-official]

Friendlocke Violet Gijinkas (Part 3/7)

PART 3 RAAAAGH!!! SO SORRY THIS ONE TOOK SO LONG AAAH!!!! But it's here now, yippee!!! And just in time for Christmas too, wowie!

I plan on posting them in order by groups of three, so there's gonna be seven parts in total, all of which I'll be linking here when done vvv

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Four) (Part Five) (Part Six) (Part Seven)

!! These will contain personal headcanons I have for the cast, little fun facts, and also spoilers for Friendlocke Violet (for both the edited vids and the streams) !!

@saltydkart-reblogs

Designs under the cut!

GRACE:

The light scars/ cracks on her body were injuries formed while she was accidentally sent through Turo's time machine. Unlike the paradox pokemon/ miraidon, GrAce's body isn't made of iron or metal, so her body wasn't able to withstand the large amount of tera energy used to power the machine as easily as the paradox pokemon were.

Luckily, she was just barely able to hold out against the time machine's energy until she made it to Turo's lab in the present day. Unfortunately, she can't be sent back because she would literally die if she went through the time machine again. Sooooo she's stuck in the modern era.

Very familiar with Area Zero and the various pokemon that reside down there, but moved out in order to continue producing music as well as familiarize herself with current-day Paldea.

She only vaguely know Clavell back when he was a rebellious teenager, though she didn't know his name. Clavell, on the other hand, was one of her biggest fans back in the 50s-60s.

Funny enough, when she sees "Clive" for the first time, she recognizes him! But not as Director Clavell, she just barely recognizes him as the random teenage fan that would occasionally ask her to sign various GrAce posters he had bought. She is also under the belief that he too, was sent from the past into the present, unaware that he simply just grew up.

Likes doing random poses for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

BRAIDY:

Believes that everything can be solved without violence, but can and will throw hands if need be.

Everyone in Braidy's family greet each other by playfully ramming into one another. So when Peppy and his team were getting chased down by Braidy's family during their journey, they weren't trying to attack them, they just wanted to say hi!

Braidy is really good with kids due to his experience with being the eldest sibling, as he'd often have to take care of his younger siblings.

Mykyie and Braidy shop at the same clothing store.

Speaking of Mykyie, the lighter parts of Braidy's fur appeared only after Mykyie passed...

As of now, he's still an apprentice, but he has great potential to become an all powerful wizard... someday.

CHRISTENE'S:

Artist's note: I couldn't fit their children in the bio sorry girls and gays. I'll probably draw them out later on after I'm finished with everyone else.

Their stomachs are basically voids, so every time they eat the food just disappears, which is why they're ALWAYS hungry.

HIGHLY flammable.

It is speculated that they're poppets, but you don't have any proof of that, do you?

If you listen closely, you can hear soft bell noises every time they walk. It is unknown why this happens, but I believe it is best not to ask.

Aaaaand that's it! I plan on taking a short break from these bc I wanna draw some other stuff. Dw, I'll continue to work on these very soon!

[the-whispers-of-death]

This is an 18+ Only Blog! Minors & ageless blogs will be blocked!! Do not interact if you're a minor or don't have an age in your bio/pinned post!!

A/N: Reader is written as male reader considering it later describes you as a "wanted man", but this can be read as gender neutral because there's no other indication of your gender. (This might change later on, if I decide to continue with adding onto this drabble, in which case Reader's gender will be more clear in the potential next parts.)

Imagine living in a dystopian world and the 141 is a known rebellion, looking to topple the tyrannical government once and for all. And imagine you do something to piss off said government.

So now you're running through the crowded streets, weaving in and out of people, trying to lose the city guards that are gaining on you. You did something so simple, yet here you are, being hunted down like a high-level criminal.

You near the edge of the city, knowing that if you just make it to the woods, the city guards won't follow you. And while the woods are scary and you've never been in them, they must be better than seeing the inside of an unregulated prison.

Safety is so close, you can just taste it. See it.

And then you stumble on a loose cobblestone, falling hard onto the ground.

No, no, no, you think as panic overtakes you as you try your best to get up as quickly as possibly only to fail and still be on the ground. You can hear the city guards run faster, knowing that this is their chance to take hold of you.

It'd be so easy, no one else is going to help you. They're all just staring at the commotion, this would be the highlight of their boring day.

Just when your panic hits its peak, a large figure pushes through the crowd and takes you by the hand. He lugs you up onto your feet and barely lets you gain your footing before pulling you along, both of you running towards the woods.

As you two pass the border of the city and into the woods, you don't stop running despite hearing the city guards stop short at the border. You two just keep running and running.

Until you get to a riverbed, the sound of the water rushing beside you joining the sounds of your heavy breaths. As soon as you two arrive, the man lets go of your hand and you take the time to get a better look at him.

And what you see shocks you.

You see the man wearing a white skull and black balaclava that you know so well from seeing on wanted posts. You take in the massive muscles he has, muscles you've heard he uses in battle so often, if the stories are to believe. You know this man and what they call him, because he's a legend.

"You're Ghost," you murmur in awe, looking at him with wide eyes. You watch him turn to you, short puffs of air coming from him as his brown eyes drill holes into your face.

Ghost nods, grunting gruffly. "I am he. And I am also your savior," he says, his voice dry as always.

You raise an eyebrow at that wording, but he did save you, so you don't comment on it. "Thank you, I really thought I'd end up in prison. I'll just be out of your hair then." You move to turn away, content to part ways with your knight in shining armor.

"Ah, no. You don't get to leave," Ghost replies, his booming voice making you stop in your tracks. His eyes twinkle when you turn back to face him. "I saved you and the least you can do to repay me is to join the rebellion. You already must've done something out of the norm to cause the city guards to chase you, you might as well embrace your life as a wanted man."

You can't deny that it would be better if you stuck with Ghost and the 141, simply because you don't know life outside of the ordered world you were living in before. It'd be nice to learn how to take care of yourself.

"Alright, fine. But I'm only doing this to repay you for saving me. I don't really believe in your cause," you say, still a little hesitant to trust the rebellion you've been told was absolutely horrible.

Ghost's eyes crinkle underneath his mask, clearly smiling under there. "Oh don't you worry, you'll see the truth. Eventually."

Separator made by @une-femme-de-lettres

I had a dream for a book about a dystopian world and then when eating breakfast I thought, what if I placed Reader and the 141 in a dystopian world? So here is what was going through my mind during breakfast.

Reblogs are welcomed & appreciated! Asks are open, feel free to pop in and request something! (Check the rules in "Rules for Requesting NSFW" before requesting.)

[cheezeybread]

American McGee Alice anon, back at it again [if I keep this up, I might label myself something cheesy like "Anon McGee." How does that sound?]

I was going to gather more to send your way regarding the topic of the last request, but I couldn't actually put much together today. So, instead, I'm delivering some potentially mildly incoherent ramblings and a lot of creative freedom to take them wherever you'd like.

I'm thinking especially of something along the lines of- likely post Riddle Overblot- a gradual shift into the MadAlice Reader becoming more genuinely comfortable with everyone in Heartslaybyul as they begin to create a differentiation between them and that which hurt them in the previous mental wonderland they'd retreated to.

Obviously there's still plenty of Rocky moments to be had- just because they're comfortable doesn't mean all will always be well- but overall, I'm just thinking of a bit of a fluffy-ish scenario that encapsulates the reader growing closer to the students of Heartslaybyul. Maybe hurt/comfort at best, but still comfort nonetheless.

Again, take as many creative liberties as you want here, I'm doing my best to balance being vague enough to allow wiggle room but also trying not to keep too many details out to the point it's just entirely unclear, lmao.

YEAAHHHH ANON MCGEE BACK AT IT AGAIN! Totally start calling yourself that now, it has such a silly ring to it!

Don't worry, I totally got you (unless I don't oops), so have this little sucker of a one-shot! I haven't written very many comfort fics lately, so I might be a taddddd rusty, sorry!

𝐅𝐭: 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞, 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐲, 𝐀𝐜𝐞, 𝐃𝐞𝐮𝐜𝐞, 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫

..••°°°°••..

You had woken up sooner, rather than later, to the relief of the entire Heartslabyul dorm. But no one was more relieved than Riddle.

As soon as you woke up, Riddle was there, leaning his head down to read out of a thick textbook. You almost didn't recognize him at first...he wasn't wearing the attire you normally saw him in. Instead of the crown and wonderland-esque uniform, he had on a shirt that looked to be a size too big, and a baggy pair of sweatpants.

You sat up slowly, the movement sending a dull throb through your back. Geez, how long were you out? The shuffling of the bed made Riddle's head jerk up, and the tension on his face faded as soon as he saw your eyes opening.

"You...you're awake," He said, his voice in a whisper.

You couldn't think of what to say to this guy who was practically a stranger to you, so you made a small "mhmm" back.

Riddle looked back down to his textbook before closing it softly, setting it down on the ground beneath his chair. He took his time before looking back up at you, his gaze focused on your shoulder rather than your eyes.

"I wanted to say that I'm...sorry," He started, a bit awkwardly. One of his hands reached down to his sweatpants, idly pulling at the fabric "For everything. I wasn't very kind to you, which went against one of the rules of the-" He stopped himself, furrowing his brows "I mean, it wasn't nice of me. And I knew that you had some...issues with our dorm. But yet, because of me, you kept having to be dragged back there. Even though I could tell how much it was hurting you."

Riddle sat up a bit straighter, taking a deep breath before continuing "I was....wrong. It was wrong of me to treat you like I did, and I was wrong about so much other stuff, too. The Quee- sorry, her rules aren't everything, and since my accident, I've come to understand that the person with the most power isn't necessarily the most right, much less the most righteous ruler there could be." He folded his hands in his lap "I know that you have issues, I can see the burns on what little parts of your skin show. I hear from Ace, from Cater, everyone who's seen you, that you have something happening. Some sort of paranoia. And I cannot express how deeply apologetic I am for playing into your fear."

You swallowed thickly, trying your best not to remember the events that transpired just before you blacked out. You tried not to see the malice and hatred in Riddle's eyes now that you had seen before. But it was hard. "M'kay," was all you could manage.

"I won't disrespect you by demanding you tell me what's going on, or what had happened to you in the past," Riddle continued "I only wish for you to help me act better, for you to tell me how I can help. I wish to improve myself, and my dorm, to become a place where you can rest easier than you have in the past. Or, if you'd rather be left alone by us entirely throughout your stay at this school, I can do my best to ensure my students won't get in your way in the slightest."

He...he actually wanted to help you? After all that happened, after all that he himself went through as well? The thought brought a small smile to your face, and you reached out a shaky hand, resting it on top of Riddle's head

"That sounds nice."

Riddle gave a small smile in return, his relief palpable. He had expected you to blow up in anger, based on how he acted. To see you holding no ill will towards him was more than he could hope for. He stood up quickly, nodding his head towards you in a professional manner, before he walked out of the room.

It wasn't until a week later that you realized he had not worn his uniform so that you wouldn't panic at the sight of him.

★・・・・・・★

Things were slowly getting better. For real this time.

It wasn't easy, but no recovery ever should be. But with some baby steps, you were on your way to a better place, mentally and emotionally. You could tell that Riddle was healing alongside you, which made the path to happiness a little more rewarding.

You never did tell the Heartslabyul dorm what had happened to you in detail. Only offhandedly mentioned your scars coming from a house-fire. And they never asked for any more information, despite their intense curiosity that you could feel oozing out of them with every glance towards you. You suspected this was mainly because of Riddle's influence over them. You were grateful for it.

Speaking of, Riddle kept his word, true and deep.

You gave a text everytime that you were about to come over to their dorm, and Riddle would instruct his student to change into their loungewear, even if they were in the midst of doing work. He told Ace and Deuce, knowing that the two of them were around you more often, to warn you when there was an Unbirthday party at their property, so they could, in turn, warn you.

He even asked if you'd like them to wear makeup over the card symbols on their skin. It was an enticing offer, since the symbols still made your heart sink every time you noticed them...but you denied it. You had to learn to deal with some things, or else you may not heal fully. Besides, Riddle and the others were bending over backwards for you as it was, it would be unfair for you to make an obscenely large amount of demands of them.

You cooked with Trey, who always made a habit of telling you when he needed a "hand in the kitchen", even though you knew he'd be better off without your held. The two of you would talk about anything under the sun, except for cards, parties, and painting roses red. And in the end, you would get a slice of whatever dessert you two whipped up.

You went on walks with Cater, who kept you up-to-date on the latest trends and scandals going on both in school and in the world around you. He always found some silly story to make the two of you cackle and howl, and eventually, the conversations would drift from real-life stories to fantastical tales involving dragons, knights, and magical geese who could blow up the world with a single honk! They weren't the best made-up tales, but you two had fun with them.

You played games with Ace and Deuce, who were both masters at trying to one-up the other. Sometimes they would get caught in a prank war between each other, and each one would recruit you to prank the other, which led in a lot of back-and-forth banters and ended with them laughing about how you "betrayed" them by joining the enemy's side. Sometimes they would teach you how to play video games, and sometimes you would play a lame version of basketball with the mediocre players.

And you would hang around Riddle while he studied in the library. In return for your company, he would tell you stories about his own life- keeping careful watch of what he said so that he wouldn't slip and begin talking about the Queen- about his mother, his unhappy childhood, and how he had struggled throughout his life with feelings of being inadequate unless he was at the top of the list in anything and everything. He found comfort in telling his secrets, and it almost made you want to tell him yours. But he never asked to hear yours, and in the end, you were content to keep your own secrets.

You were getting better, day by day.

°°••....••°°

[starry-toya]

Oh shit, weird mixed feelings about the blonde fucker handshake 🤝  I wonder if we experienced a similar trajectory? 

Yeah, when I first watched through the series I did not like the dude. As soon as he debuted I clocked he was gonna end up a major threat to characters I liked already and so honestly I only half-watched his bits. The way he started embarrassingly worshipping Endeavor later only validated this further. 

And then... I entered the fandom, started looking at fanworks and meta. If Dabi's your fave Hawks is gonna be pretty much impossible to avoid, so I decided to hear them out. And holy fuck is the guy one big heap of missed potential. 

Even if the series itself doesn't realize this what happened to him as a kid was Fucked Up. The dude's life SUCKS and he doesn't seem to value himself when he's not being used like a tool. Fans of his have peeled his facades back like an onion to give readers a look at the ugly shit beneath. Stories where he's forced to confront all of this and defects, essentially filling Lady Nagant's role, are admittedly my favorites. They let him experience actual guilt for the awful shit he's done even when he tries to hide from it. There's the  way he was widely assumed to be a heteromorph before the finale and how he's hiding parts of himself in a bigoted society. There's the fact that he's so extremely weird about Endeavor probably being a trauma response in its own way. He's a hero, but his hands are stained red too, and so many fanworks make him confront his demons and drag him to deprogramming kicking and screaming if they have to. 

But then you look back at canon and especially that fucking ending where I guess his fans weren't supposed to see all that in him, that he's not suffering much at all and is like many of the pros just a rather bad person with a HARDCORE bootlicker mentality? But dammit I've Seen Too Much now. I'm fond of any of the characters be could have been in the hands of a better writer. 

So in the end it's led to this weird situation where I've simultaneously become rather attatched and want to see him ripped apart like a dog toy. 

Which I guess leads me to what I guess the main thing I wanted to run by you: I do have some DabiHawks pieces in the queue and I just wanted to double check that you have the tag filtered or something before they post because I know how annoying getting flashbanged by a NOTP can be. 

OHHH I SO GET THAT MY MAIN ISSUE WITH HIM IS HOW LITTLE HE DEVELOPS IN CANON THE GUY IS LITERALLY AN EMPTY SHELL OF A PERSON AND WE GET **NOTHING** ON THAT-- PRETTY SIMILAR TRAJECTORY FOR ME TOO LMAO

yeah there are a lot of super interesting portrayals of hawks, especially if you consider the amount of parallels this guy has with not just dabi BUT ALSO with tomura, and canon really is just suuuuuper disappointing in comparison to a lot of fan content 😭

the dog toy thing is so real too man i get that 😭 i personally mainly don't like hawks because. well not only is he entirely just wasted potential as a character, working for the organisation that ruined his life and not even using the opportunity to make things better and work towards prevention of villains being created by entirely controllable measures. i personally mainly can't like him in canon due to the whole government spy assassin thing, mainly because of how little it's touched upon. like, I'm okay with morally ambiguous characters or whatever, but like you mentioned, the fact that he didn't even reflect on anything regarding that in canon just puts me OFFFFF. like whatever I can deal with the weird cop-like mindset, i mean, the guy was groomed but REALLY??? NO CONTEMPLATION ABOUT IT??? NO GUILT, NOTHING, NONE OF THAT JUICY SHIT???? the exact same thing goes for his enji bootlicking, like MAN give me something to work with instead of just showing me how badly u idolise that fucker 😭 i would have LOVED to see even a little bit of self doubt after touya's reveal from him, his own contemplation of whether or not what he was doing was even right, questioning himself and his actions upon seeing the nonchalance of so many from the news that he KILLED a guy, the lack of response or real criticism of endeavour's objectively shitty mindset and the mhaverse's one track mind when it comes to apparently only seeing things in 2 shades. like, it'd be fine even if he didn't end up acting on these thoughts, but even just having those thoughts could've made him so much more nuanced. understandable if the actual plot didn't change much (despite my MANY issues with it), even that small bit of apprehension coming from hawks could have been so interesting to see considering the level of conditioning he was put through. i won't even get started on that absolute BULLSHIT conclusion of his arc because god knows this is already getting too long

man this is turning into a massive rant i gotta wrap this up soon dhbsbrbe 😭 but anyways that's mainly what I don't like abt hawks too, but yeah i def get wanting to see more fan content of him! i myself do read stuff w him if I think it's well done (shockingly rare for me to find a portrayal i like though), and that coupled with my inability to not really see dabihawks working as well as most fan content depicts leads me to avoiding it pretty often. they be a very interesting relationship to me, but in most scenarios? they'd only work if they were heavily mischaracterised or if they were not even working, just like a weird toxic thing ykwim? at least, that's what it's like to me

but to answer ur actual question (i am. so sorry can you tell i haven't spoken about mha in a while 😭) i definitely don't mind man, i don't have the tag filtered because a lot of solo dabi fanart n stuff is tagged with dabihawks for the artists to gain more visibility, but seeing it on my tl isn't too big of a deal for me. I'm pretty used to seeing them on the tl and it's easy enough for me to ignore if I don't fw it, so go ahead! I'm so sorry for just yapping for so long by the way oh man 😭