#I will never shut up abt them lol
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yeah...I ship them u honour...
BUT PLS LOOK AT THESE TWO SILLY THINGS C'MON 😭😭😭😭 Dumb x Smart I love them sm u don't understand 🤧🤧🤧
Fishketball will always be my fav ep of them lmao
Based on @likeys-stuff post :))
#I will never shut up abt them lol#WHY THERE'S NO STORY JUST W THESE TWO??? (If does I don't remember 💀💀💀)#They're so cute 🤧🤧🤧#Bubble Guppies#bubble guppies nonny#Bubble Guppies Gil#Btw they ship name is so freaking cute#“Ginny” I love that lol#Shipping#THEY'RE BOYFRIENDS U HONOUR
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I recently decided to semi revive some of my crusty dusty splatoon ocs from when I was like 12, so here’s all of the goobers! Meet Cherry (she/her), Slosh (he/they), Egg (they/them), and Blast (she/they)
#keese draws#splatoon#splatoon oc#inkling#inkling oc#octoling#octoling oc#since they were from me being like 12 I. barely remember anything abt them.#I remember the most abt cherry and slosh but that basically amounts to their names and gender#the other two I only rember existing through vibes lol#anyways! I am never drawing splatoon weapons again! holy shit that fucking sucked!#on the bright side I got to mess around a bit with some hair style concepts I’ve been rotating in my head#also I’m still working on giving these guys an updated story but my basic idea is that they’re a professional tower control team that has#been facing some conflicts as of late due to them all getting old enough to start having aspirations outside of their team#cherry is from the domes but her parents left with her when she was around 10#blast went to the same school as her and the two became pretty close friends as selective mute buddies#then at some point cherry caught wind of this cool new sport called tower control and was like woahhh I wanna do that#so she just went up to the first person near the battle lobby she could find and was like hey how do I join?#and he got super excited since he has a reputation for being incapable of shutting up so someone willing coming up to him came as a shock#they showed her where to get weapons and how to join battles and the two became battle buddies real quick#this lead to blast getting super worried and anxious as she didn’t want to see her only friend get hurt or stolen from her#at which point cherry was like oh I know! why don’t you come battle with us?#and blast was like wait wait wait no what if I die and dont come back and then die again :[#they managed to come to a compromise for a while tho and eventually blast was able to just barely squish past her fear enough to start#being kind of interested in tower control as she had started watching the other two play#and while she was still anxious abt the idea eventually she sheepishly admitted she wanted to give it a try#and she ended up really liking it! so the three kept playing together#and eventually they started to feel more and more like an actual team and egg noticed#they had been scouting a team to join for a lil while now and after getting to play with the three quite a few times and getting on friendly#terms with them they were like hey what if we became like an actual team who do tournaments and stuff
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is this controversial . i made it for laughs and jokes and giggles
#renfield 2023#lest we forget all the people rebecca and renfield kill throughout the course of the movie.#eliminate the idea of a ‘bad guy’ who ‘deserves to die’ from your mind and you’ll realize they’re also murderers ! in the movie i mean#obvs there’s tons of people renfield’s killed offscreen but i’m talking solely abt the movies events rn#by kill i mean.#or i guess. well. led to their deaths#by bringing them to drac#anyways#look me in my eyes and tell me rn that these characters are not ALL murderers#and if you remove the whole ‘good/bad’ dichotomy from your mind you’ll realize we watch renfield kill SOO MANY PPL LOL#but no it’s fine cause they’re bad guys#totally. lmao#all i’m saying ! everyone here KILLS#or HAS killed#or wants to. lmao. i bet teddy’s never killed anybody#but yannow he is in a crime family so i assume he is complicit in murder all the time even if he’s never done it himself#this is way too much text for a little silly meme. i’m shutting up now lol
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I need the hunger games to go back to no longer being relevant to most people because I keep getting genuinely heated over other people's opinions on a ya series and it's embarrassing
#STOP TREATING THINGS THAT I KNOW ARE JUST POPULAR FANON AS CANON PLEASE#I CAN LITERALLY TELL YOU WHERE HALF OF THESE THEORIES AND TROPES COME FROM OH MY GOD#BECAUSE THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A YEAR SINCE I WAS 10 THAT I'VE BEEN NORMAL ABOUT THE HUNGER GAMES#AND IT'S SO INCONSEQUENTIAL BUT SHUT UP ABT FOUR NOT BEING A CAREER DISTRICT!!#IT'S CAREER STATUS IS ESSENTIAL TO KATNISS'S REALIZATION OF WHO THE REAL ENEMY IS!!#and also you know. Finnick and Annie being much more interesting characters if they're careers and had to unlearn their indoctrination#as I know I've complained about on here before lol#also just bad interpretations of parts of tbosas#and the obvious misogyny when it comes to how some characters are treated like Cato vs Coral in the movies#like I know most of the Cato bitches only liked him bc they found his actor attractive#and them genuinely hating a similar character played by a woman (who is not traditionally feminine)... girl. I see what's going on#and I hate being annoyed by it bc it doesn't matter. but I literally am and it sucks lol
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having shri’iia thoughts as one does bc GUESS who’s save file completely died when the new patch came out nooo we have to replay her again 🤭 alas. just stewing on the thought of how she never got to fuck her Mistress even though she wanted to…!!!! like she was out there getting psychologically tortured and mind broken but she was just like WHY won’t you fuck me im literally doing everything for you. which is so bad for her, woman who already has an excruciatingly low self worth because she missed the mark on the standard for lolth’s children (and that’s worse than not fitting in the standard at all) by something out of her own control btw (not being born in a noble house) but she’s been recognised and blessed by her goddess, and she’s been invited to join a drow house so everything should be good right?? she should be desirable right?? finally everything is correct and well and good and the way it should be right????? but no..!! it’s not..!! and so she’s doing everything for this woman, no dignity left, literally doing anything to get her approval, to be told that she’s finally enough, and she’s finally fitting in - and she gets it sometimes, she gets ignored most times tbh and it’s just this painful excruciating stew of self loathing and insecurity that she’s in, and she’s in there for a century but the thing is she can’t even give up. it’s not in her nature to. and she’s done too much to just give up , and she’s been doing this for a long time that she can’t give up and lolth didn’t raise no quitters so she sticks by it, trying to achieve that hopeless praise. but then one day she gets dropped like nothing, everything she’s done and suffered and worked towards and sacrificed gets thrown out bc her goddess isn’t pleased with her and good luck going home btw you’re not welcome here anymore bc ur pathetic. the rug gets pulled under her feet and she’s left in this strange world that she can barely navigate in let alone speak the language and u expect her to b fine with that…?
#I rlly want to. hmm maybe make a comic or draw something abt shri’iia in the tiefling party#^ bc that is the turmoil currently and she’s PANICKING …!!!!#but she can’t show it. she can’t give herself away. so she gets DRUNK. and she’s in her corner chugging down wine#also like the idea there that she undoes her braid bc her hands aren’t steady enough to put it back to her usual style#and maybe it keeps getting caught lol. so hair down shri’iia 🤭🥳 and her hair is wavy going down near her feet 🥳#hair down drunk shri’iia who looks like she’s having so much fun but if you look at her properly her eyes are rabid#and if u just watch her she’ll just stare at her hands with the most haunted expression#but if someone gets close to her she’ll go back to smiling and laughing and it’s so fun woohoo 🥳#but if someone invites her for a chat she doesn’t want that. just fuck her please the last woman she’s with never did even#though she always got her off. and when she does sleep someone she gets disarmed and bewildered that it’s mutual#and someone else makes her come after how many years#and that in itself is so dreadful that she can’t think about it so she’s like can you drain me again. like what u did before idc just go#for it idcccc and astarion is like. mid dissociating just going through his motions caught off guard bc this is the first time he’s#gonna be drinking someone and fucking them so . unsure what he feels about that chat let’s put a pin on it. does drink her albeit much more#demure than before. he doesn’t wanna go overboard. only doing What he Needs to Do. like hag romance first time rlly is about#the deceit and using each other for their own agenda. so when the act 3 graveyard comes around it’s like a redo of their first time bc#they’re both aware! and present! and there’s no pretense! and I like the idea that shri’iia actually confesses after like when they’re#holding each other. admits that she was actually scared of her own feelings bc it’s new. doesn’t know what to do with it. she’s very aware#of how she loves and her devotion and she doesn’t want to subject him to do bc it’s a Lot#but she wants to learn. and she wants to give her love if he wants it (just want to know if ur capable of love!!!!!)#and it’s this SWEET confession in my head augh aughhh 😭😭😭😭😭😭 maybe I’ll just do a comic of the graveyard scene lol#bc in my head. it’s a bit different. 🤭🤭 and I like it a lot heheheheh…..#shut up about bg3.#bg3 spoilers#oc: shri’iia.
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on one hand. it's deeply funny how whenever I'm in a new situation/I'm busy my bodies just like yeah we don't need food right it's fineee and then I barely eat because I forget to/don't feel like it. on the other hand I would really like to. yk. try more Japanese food while I'm here? like cmon man work with me here
#its like#im not not eating yk#ive been living off seven eleven sandwiches and onigiri#and a shit ton of drinks while I'm out#i think its a combo of like#a. me kinda shifting into the same mindset i get at cons where its just go go go make the most of it do everything you can eat and feel like#shit when you get home#b. food expensive. not that expensive but it feels like a cost yk#c. shit ton of unfamiliar food and again. dont want to waste money on something i wont like. my ass is bad with certain textures and tastes#i feel bad getting boring western food bc migjt as well try something new while im here right but also all the new stuff scares me#d. going anywhere that isnt a self serve conbini/fast food place is uh. terrifying? idk.how to do that#e. i just forget food is a thing i need#idk im bad with food in general#hashtag autism thingss#but i think theres just a lot of compounding factors that lead to more stress around this#(new country so new things so i dont know if ill like them but i need to try them while im here bc i migjt never get to again and then ill#regret it forever but idk how but i cant just keep going to the same two or three places but going anywhere else takes forever ajd feels#like a waste of time but-)#so my brain just kinda goes. lmaao yeah no and then avoids thinking abt it?#or maybe im just overthinking it who fuckin knows#probably overthinking. and oversharing#lol. lmao even#idk im not really a huge food person anyway? still seems like a waste ig#drinks are fucking incredible tho#and hey im getting hydrated while im walkong aroind thats more than i usually get#imngonna. shut up jow#me.txt
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🧭..!!!
#i like him. hehe.#.txt#his sickeningly nervous puppydog behavior has captivated me#<- things that can also be said for greg#me when i watch a drama show and immediately fall in love w guy with black hair who's constantly nervous and who overworks himself#and who's sooo pathetic and who also. well. puked everywhere in the first episode. 🧭 is greg if he existed in the 40s and was 5'7#also they have giant baby cow eyes#i need to bring them coffee as they work and massage their shoulders bc they're always stressed out adn also tuck them into bed.#these bitches need some comfort. they never get any#let me provide that for u ...boy.#their comfort my number 1 priority actually. idc abt myself i just want them Alright#<- well in **** the comfort of Everyone Else comes before my own comfort bc i'm in the medical field lol#ok i'm shutting up no one cares for random vague lore rambling#🧭
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now that wiener has changed me i can show my true colors to you all. this is the equivalent of me posting my little prince on the internet okay because i genuinely think this is cringe and stupid but i cant help it i have autistic rage and everyday i fight against it. anyways the reason why its so big i like wieners itapan is bc this is how i actually feel about itapan
its okay though because everyday i fight to cure myself of these aids (once i opened my social media app and saw itapan and my day genuinely felt significantly worse. ruined even. i am fighting so hard).
#BECAUSE I FOR REALSIES THINK ITS SO DUMB TO GET ACTUALLY DEADASS MAD AT FICTIONAL SHIPS#WHO THE FUCK CARES#AINT NOBODY CARE ABOUT THAT SHIT SHUT YO DUMBASS UP!!!!!#but my weakness... is itager... because idk im ill abt them its not a joke#ive been this way for like 6 years now#i can handle reading fanfics of germany x other characters bc germany literally never loves them#like all the fics i read of him x other characters is just him being tortured by them and he doesnt even like them#the only way he reciprocates their affections is literally after white room torture and getting turned into a different person#i believe that i think thats true thats the only way he could possibly show romantic affection to someone other than italy#i only can tolerate and sometimes enjoy content of germy/itatard x other people if its onesided and they dont love the other person#bc then im like yeah seems legit cuz theyd only love eachother in all universes#and i feel this way abt basically all of my ships i care abt bc im a monoshipper#but usually i wont give a fuck if i see them with other people im like that sucks lol but not my house not my soup!#BUT ITAGER....... IT MAKES ME CRAZY#IT MAKES ME ACT LIKE A FREAK ! I DONT ENDORSE MY OWN BEHAVIOR#thats why this is my shame............. this is my one true cringe and something i genuinely consider a flaw of mine#one of my few if not only autistic rage inducers............. please accept me for who i am. i am trying to fight this (ngl im losing but#we still try our best bc i want to have no weaknesses)#one of my few weaknesses.....#robooty dick pic
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this is a very venty post don't mind me :D
that nintendo direct was so horrible.
it was literally like 80 percent remakes and remasters.
never in my life have i seen an announcement video exist just to say "every game you've ever known since the 90s is being remade/remastered, sorry, we ran out of originality".
literally like all the video game market is anymore is remakes and the movie industry is just as bad.
the nso releases are fine because they're not like, remakes taking up full game slots. they're old games that are being made accessible and that's great... but there's no need to remake this many games when they can do that. remakes used to be rare. remember stuff like the wii u shop and stuff? with all the games they had on those things? now it's a tiny selection and everything else is a remake :/
also I feel like a lot of new rpgs are just like... lowkey fe knockoffs now instead of original rpgs.
i'm happy for like... two existing remakes, but one of them is mario rpg which people wanted waaaaAAAAAYYYY before the remake and remaster era, and the other is baten kaitos which im not actually happy about remaster-wise (the updated ui is trash, they took out very specific charms of the original ui), just happy that it will get more recognition/notice from people since it was never popular.
they also completely removed the english voice acting which like okay yeah it wasn't always that great but the voices fit perfectly and it wasn't as bad as fans meme on it for! it just sounded like they were talking through a tube and that was actually the worst part of it lol.
someone suggested to me that they may have just lost the data for it, but idk. i wish they'd just admit that somehow if it was the case, because it bugs me that the english audio is just completely gone when ultimately i really liked it. i wanted the game to be accessible to newer players, sure, but i also wanted the english audio there. ig that's because i grew up with it and i liked it, but it's still such a bummer for me!
paper mario being put on the nso and tyd getting a whole remaster does make me sad tho bc it feels like they're leaving the original in the dust when it was so good. if you're gonna do tyd, at least do them both.
good for innersloth though, i'm sure they never imagined being on a nintendo direct. they're the real winners here.
#DCB Comments#the FE fandom is just as bad too. every single solitary direct that comes up they're like#OMG FE4 REMAKE. like ??? I used to be just annoyed but#now I'm just feeling the “shut the actual fuck up” mood bc it's ALL they care about for FE anymore#nobody wants new FE games. they're just obsessed with the idea of remakes#it's more annoying bc it's all the majority of the FE fandom talks abt anymore#also does anyone even know if games on the NSO ever get a remake or if originals of remakes go onto NSO?#wondering bc I don't think I've seen a game on NSO get a remake or vice versa#like I was always wondering if Mario RPG would be on the NSO but it never was and now it has a remake coming#since FE4 6 and 7 are on the NSO I can't see why they would be if remakes were coming#also if they're in the process of making a new console do y'all still think they'll release Gamecube on the NSO?#idk if they'd release PoR on it since they'd prob remaster that one (I don't want a remake for it but remaster might be nice if they#update the map graphics and stuff) since it would net them way more money to release the game as a standalone but if they#did put it on NSO I'd really love that. I get up I play PoR. I lay down I PoR. I go in the car I play PoR (I don't drive lol)#but anyway yeah I'm just tired of every single Direct having FE fans being annoying as fuck#also ppl were apparently legit like omg the new banner coming means fe4 remake will be on the direct#oh my goooooddddd stfu at this point I just don't want it remade bc i am 💅 p e t t y 💅 bc ppl are so annoying abt this#when a leak for a new game came out (engage) from a very reputable source ppl knocked it and called it ''obviously fake''#(the joke is now not just ON them but IS them) but then when they got a ''leak'' abt an fe4 remake they ate it up#like wow lol. wow. they won't believe anything unless you say fe4 remake then suddenly they believe anything you say abt that alone#it's rly sad that my favorite game has become a cesspool of annoying fe fans#the thing is fe doesn't come out with a whole lot of remakes. it never has#it's just that when gaiden got a remake ppl have NOT shut the fuck up ever since#and I've seen ppl saying every game under the sun should be remade#frankly if they remake anything right now it should be poor fucking shadow dragon (yes. the remake.)#anyway most of y'all know how annoyed i get abt this lol like yeah maybe someday fe4 could get remade but#it's the fact that the modern day fans are SO fucking annoying about it now. back ten or so years ago fe4 fans were just happy TO play it#we were just happy to have it at all even in emulated form and it being an snes game#we loved it as it was and didn't bitch about it bc it wasn't uwu modern enough (and i've played casual mode since new mystery)#now ppl are just like oh i like it but i don't want to play it unless it's remade
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what are some major events that happened in your lord eclipse au? and do ones similar to canon like old moon sending him a wither storm go differently?
is there special events that eclipse, Sun, or that one of the followers made around him? does he have activities he likes to do in general?
OH MAN. I'm gunna be honest, I'm actually not entirely sure about the first question?? The timeline/canon I have is very loose and changes from scenario to scenario, but I suppose a few events that are pretty consistent are "The Centipede-ening", Eclipse's fall from grace (isolation from his followers due to boredom) with unwavering loyalty happening somewhere around that time period, Moon n Lunar show up... and then i Guess they release the wither storm?? Though, I do like to replace the wither storm with something that isn't. The Minecraft Story Mode Wither Storm LMAOSJWLDK
After that, though, I usually divide into two different outcomes from there and either go "Sunvant dies and slowly heals in the afterlife with his Moon, Lunar, and Bloodmoon" or "Moon and Lunar takes Sunvant back home with them and he slowly heals in the main tsams universe." Both are varying levels of angsty and bittersweet so he has to endure Healing Horrors no matter what LMAO
ALSO YES ‼️ I actually started making a small list of events/important days for Lord Eclipse's world (before getting distracted so there's only one date on it LMAO 😭) but I imagine that some days were sort of... pre-installed?? by Eclipse, like his primary day of worship (which is June 1st bc that's when he first started existing!), but some events may be entirely made by the rest of the followers! I just. dunno what those events would be yet LOL. I could also absolutely see Sun making his own personal special days that revolve around Lord Eclipse just so he feels like he's especially faithful tbh!
#asks#anon#lord eclipse au#I HOPE THIS SUFFICES LOL 😭#there's several more ideas i have that are either just... too small to mention or i'm just unsure if i actually wanna implement it#like monty saying something to sun that he—as sunvant—havent ever told monty and he's like#what? why do you know that about me?#and monty's like ah. uhm. just... forget i ever said anything.#sun asking lord eclipse if he'd ever get his own stained glass window someday—'you know. since you've appointed me as your servant?'#and lord eclipse immediately shuts down the idea with a guilt trippy 'why would you want such a thing? you'd take attention away from me.-#-do you want to make people forget who they're supposed to be worshipping here?'#OH OH#IVE ALSO THOUGHT ABT THE IDEA OF THERE BEING A GROUP OF DISSENTERS THAT WANT TO DETHRONE LORD ECLIPSE AND SUN ENDS UP JOINING THEM SOMEHOW#i have never thought of a single good ending for that idea tho LMAOOO 😭#it always ends with Sun cowering under the furious gaze of Eclipse while surrounded by the bodies of all the people who had been involved#POINT IS: THERE'S SEVERAL THINGS I ENTERTAIN THAT I DONT RLLY TALK ABT BC. SHRIG#MY OWN SELF INDULGENCE COMES FIRST WITH THIS AU I WONT EVEN LIE SORRYSJSHSJFN#centiclipse#sunvant
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ill b honest the emp3rors biggest crime isnt being ostensibly manipulative or whatever its being so fucking obnoxious
#personal#bg3 spoilers#dont take this too seriously but genuinely cannot stand that thing cus they just never shut up#also i dont respect the writing decisions around some of the twists but thats neither here nor there#or how contained their whole plot was since none of the companions even react to them LOL anyway its fine#im not willing to have a discussion abt their alignment or whatever either i just find them so annoying LMFAOOOOOO#'ermmmmm actually i saved u all the time and i was ur knight in shining armor and and and and and' girl relax
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sighsss thinking abt my voltron aus again
#shut up danni#i have big issues w canon but god the world and the characters keep drawing me back which is why i love the fanfic#the one i keep thinking abt is one that i barely developed and is marginally dumb as fuck#but basically krolia never went back to space to act as idk a sentinal for the blue lion if it ever got discovered#and so when keith's dad dies she raises him??#imagine this absolutely jacked woman dressed in the most concealing outfit w v thick makeup and barely managing to pass off as human#everyone think she's so unbelieveably weird but they're all super intimidated by her to not give her or keith shit abt it#there's still horror stories passed around by that one adult that had snubbed keith at the park abt krolia's utter fierocity#and instead of keith getting adopted by shiro's family imagine if you will: shiro gets adopted by keith's family#krolia being like 'hm my son has adopted an older brother. yes. he is mine now.'#shiro just being baffled at how fkn weird his new brother and mom are when he goes to their shack for the weekends#and when keith comes home w his brother and three other humans talking abt voltron she knows its time and shows them the blue lion#anyways krolia joining the gang on board and being like....the space mom lol#hm. mayhaps i will draw totally a human krolia.....
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every now and then you’ll reblog one of my reblogs and it gives me a heart attack. how do you find my stuff. why would you be scrolling through my blog of all places.
I might follow ya mate! You never know!
#i feel bad that ppl might not know I follow them since this technically isnt my 'main' blog#but well it is since its the one I mainly use and the og is a retired one I never use#sucks that I can send asks as Patrex too#anyway im literally so stupid and silly so dont worry abt it mate lol just some GuyTM#cant*#shut up patrex
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.
#i hate my brain bc if i go 1 week without talking to someone i've already gone thru the 5 stages of grief#& im in the process of moving on#like im actually in morning every day i dont talk to them. i mourn whatever connection we had & im sad & miss them everyday#**mourning#fr my brain is like ok they're never gonna talk to u again!! that was the last conversation u ever had. say bye to them bc it's over forever#but if my brain goes thru the entire thing w/ interruption ie interaction from them#i will *feel* less (much less) for them. and i'll just be like oh hey a ghost from the past what's up :|#and im aware of how fkn irrational & dramatic this is like wtaf?? this is not healthy nor normal but ig that's just my brain :')#i need constant & intense & 24/7 or else my brain just shuts off. which again isnt normal#this is why im scared of moving out & not living w/ my mom. i fear i will grow detached from her just bc i dont see her everyday...#think this is part of why i isolate myself too lol#my sisters also havent talked to me in weeks and im like?? damn i actually kinda dont care abt u anymore lol
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Hmmgggggggggggg.
#i dont really “hate” anyone tbh#like if i get annoyed or pissed @ someone ill forgive them within 2 days max#usually within a few hours im chill again#but my coworker. Holy shit i actually hate her sm mam pls pls pls shut the fuck up stop talking to me#im ngl im actually openly a bitch to her#like when i leave in the late afternoons ill call bye to my managers and coworkers by name...#except her. I flat out dont say anything to her#when she walked to the back and left the register unattended she said she needed help w smthin#and i flat out lectured her instead of gently explaining that she cant leave it unattended#i didnt cuss or anything but even i could hear my tone beinf a very “duh” voice#And im kinda fuckin tone deaf#i get a lot of complaints abt her from customers too lol#shes rude and never says please or thank you or anything#like she says fuck manners or smthin#and she keeps! Interjecting!! In my convos!!#Ill be talking w Anyone and she'll but in and be like#For example#the other week i was trying to separate two carts and one banged against my chest. I held my chest and whined @ my coworker (whom i adore)#and we were laughing together and i said “im short! carts will hit my tlts! it happens!”#and lame coworker walks over and goes “youre not short. I saw an adult the size of a toddler earlier.” In this smug bitchy tone#or when im telling a coworker im trying to budget#she'll come @ me going “youre not trying to say youre Poor are you? Because you dont look poor”#like girl what the fuck. First off i wasnt fucking talking to you! Secondly thats none of your fucking business???#i get my clothes cheap online or in thrift stores#ONCE IN AWHILE ill go to a fancier store and get 1 or 2 items but thats it. And thats vvv uncommon#she pisses me off sm im gonna be meaner lol
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STILL wide awake! i did not put down my phone! and now im hungry. so i will not be sleeping tonight ♥️
#purrs#also… im gonna admit it. ive been up for hours cleaning out… my toyhouse accounts. not cleaning them out but cleaning them up. and im so#FUCKING mad at my 18 year old self for giving away characters that meant so much to me to 12 year olds on warriors amino who never finished#their half of the art trade… and now so many of them are like. completely out of my reach and i can never get them back. im trying to ask#for the characters ive been able to find and track them down. which for ppl who actually love and care for them im sure is predatory and#annoying bc it’s like ok you made that choice so live with it. but im so fucking mad at myself and i wish i could undo it. i know it doesn’t#matter bc i don’t do that kind of deviantart stuff anymore but like.. i gave away characters who were so special to me growing up and now so#many of them are like.. on locked / unauthorized toyhouses or deleted or the person already owns them and is never trading them and#imjust so SAD!!!!!! over pixels i know. PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER over pixels. but im so saddddd aughhhhh#delete later#(i also did clean out photos and do practice drivers tests btw. but ive mostly been doing toyhouse stuff)#also im so sad and angry charahub went down and i didn’t even know it and i can’t access my data at allll like so much precious info#on there is gone forever. pain and suffering. also it’s worth naming im not in this to like have the best most expensive whatever designs im#doing this bc i desperately want to salvage every piece of my childhood / adolescence and never let go of anything in my life ever and when#i was 18 i thought i could run away from deeply permanently hurting and betraying a friend by selling all of my characters starting w the#ones they made me and then branching off into baiscally all of them to not make it look like it was just abt them bc i couldn’t bear to be#reminded of what i had done. and now i live with the consequences. in more ways than just the characters obviously. so there’s that#(i had my reasons for doing what i had to do btw. but i will never stop feeling guilty about it or regretting how it must have felt for them#bc we were like best friends and then i turned cold and awful because i didn’t know how to communicate my needs so instead i just shut them#out and didn’t even have the decency to explain why. and it fucking sucked that i did that. lol)#* and still sucks. and i think abt it all the time and try not to talk about it for a lot of reasons but here i am so. lol
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