#I will never give permission

[furrama]

I see that Tumblr has a main character. Haven't had one of those in a while. And, unfortunately for the rest of us, he might be the last one.

[sydmarch]

i don't even remember where the screencap i used for this study is from i've had it saved in my potential references folder for so long.

details:

[katboykirby]

Tiktok got me fucked up today 💀

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

[rockethorse]

The basegame wedding dress has a pregnancy morph??

[littleoceanbabe]

i am wrapping army doctor john watson up in a big fluffy warm blanket and giving him a hot chocolate 💖💖💖

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Not me genuinely in a dilemma of whether or not I should block someone just for one absolutely ASS take even though it literally won't make a difference from their POV

[shunin-gumis]

Designs of Happiness - Track A14

L4mps Main Story Translation

Title: Imposed Blessings

Characters: Nagi

Summary: Nagi is working alone at his shop after abruptly leaving the Friday Film viewing. The protagonist chases after him, and he finally explains his unique predisposition.

Thank you aca @463ce6, jes @arcanecrayonn myun @/myuntachis and Niri for helping me with proofing!

Also a gentle request from me, please do listen to the chapter in-game alongside the translation if you don't do so already, the voice acting is very precious 🥺🥺

Location: Flower Laundry

Sonia: Nagi-shan, here ish all the flowers you can use! 

Nagi: …Oh no. This isn’t nearly enough.

Sonia: You came back all of a sudden from HAMA House, sho you have no right to complain! 

Nagi: Sorry. Please get whatever’s left in the storehouse too.

Sonia: Aye aye, Shir! Geez, I’ll bring back as much as I can!

*bell jingles*

Customer A: ‘Scuse me! Sorry for popping in last minute—

Nagi: Oh, that’s alright. What can I do for you?

Customer A: Just a quick question– Does the laundromat here accept IzuPay? 

Nagi: IzuPay… Ah, we don’t use that here yet. There were plans to add it as an option but it was delayed… Sorry about that.

Customer B: Darn… out of luck, huh. I guess it makes sense, not everyone would bother getting the ward’s special payment method.

Nagi: Other digital payment options are still available, and we accept cash too.

Customer A: Huh? Can’t believe there’s a laundromat that still takes cash… 

Customer A: I thought they’d all be gone with the ‘Valley of the Sky’ or somethin’. POTHARU! and all that. 

Customer B: Hey, don’t be rude… He’s standing right there, and that scene is long since over. Um, sorry about that. 

Nagi: …It’s fine. 

Nagi: (Right. I guess the film viewing would be over by now, too.)

Nagi: (...Why did I have to think about that now?)

Nagi: (I wouldn’t have lasted much longer in that situation… Just thinking about it gives me chills. I’m sorry I didn’t stick with Toi till the end, but I had no choice, I had to leave for everyone’s sake—)

Sonia: I’ve prepared the flowers for you!

Nagi: Thanks. —Let’s go, we need to leave right now.

??: Um, excuse me… 

Nagi: Oh, yes, welcome—

Momiji: Good evening… again.

Nagi: …… 

Momiji: Do you mind if we talk for a bit, Nagi-kun?

Momiji: …… 

Momiji: (I can’t believe he ran out of HAMA House during the viewing… I guess he must’ve hated it that much, huh…)

Momiji: (Maybe I was being too naive in thinking that he’d open up with enough time…) 

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: (I can’t believe she noticed I’d left… I might have messed this up worse than I’d thought. She must be annoyed with me…)

Nagi: (No, I shouldn’t jump to conclusions, maybe she’s just here to check up on me. I clearly suck at communicating with others, so that might have gotten her worried…)

Nagi: (Still, it doesn’t change the fact that I troubled the Chief… I’m worth less than a plant louse that preys on flowers. I mean, even plant lice are useful to ants, yet I’m…)

Nagi: (No one would want a Ward Mayor that’s worth less than a louse.)

Nagi: (I wanted to take responsibility and see this job through to the end, but…)

Momiji: …You see, Yodaka-san just informed me earlier. 

Nagi: Yes?

Momiji: That you haven’t slept at HAMA House even once, Nagi-kun.

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: (So he knew. He’s too sharp to slip past, huh.)

Momiji: …… 

Momiji: (Ah… He’s tensed up.)

Momiji: (I wonder if I should’ve approached it more delicately…)

Momiji: (I’d readily help him if he’d just let me know what he’s having trouble with, or if there’s something he’d like changed… But what if he says that he never wanted to be a Ward Mayor in the first place? Hrm… What should I say…)

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: (She looks really troubled… I feel guilty that she’s worried over someone like me.)

Nagi: (I should just explain everything, even if it makes me uneasy. I know it’s the right thing to do, but… If I really just blurt everything out, she’d probably think I’m some kind of weirdo.)

Nagi: (But if I keep quiet any longer, she might feel hurt instead. What should I do…)

Nagi: (...The cyclamen at the storefront just caught my eye… In flower language, they mean “resignation” and “words of parting”...)

Nagi: (And next to it are the anemone, meaning “abandonment,” and the calendula, “sorrow of parting.”)

Nagi: (I see… I get it now.)

Momiji: Um… 

Nagi: (I should… brace myself.) 

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: …If I don’t hand out flowers, it rebounds. 

Momiji: Huh?

Nagi: The other side of the Yajirobe*. 

Momiji: Uh?

Nagi: This is just a theory of mine.

Momiji: O-Okay… 

Nagi: I believe that, just like with human emotions, if a person experiences great fortune or misfortune, then they will eventually have to return to a neutral state.

Momiji: Uh huh...?

Nagi: In my case, the rebound is especially strong. If I experience any fortune, then misfortune is sure to follow soon after. 

Nagi: That’s what happened when I got caught in that bee trap before; I’m sure it’s because I’d won a set of tissue boxes the day before, at a raffle in the shopping district.

Nagi: This is my theory on the phenomenon I call “The Yajirobe of Fortune and Misfortune.”

Momiji: I-I see... It’s like when people say bad luck doesn’t last forever, or how something good is bound to follow after something bad… Is it like that?

Nagi: …Are you a genius? I feel embarrassed for making up a whole theory now. I’ll just use your explanation next time.

Momiji: No, no, I understood what you were trying to say with your Yajirobe theory.

Nagi: …To avoid having the Yajirobe go crazy, I need to avoid any situation that might make me happy, intentionally or not. 

Nagi: Even a single slice of cake is too much for me. That sort of kindness… is too much happiness for me to bear. 

Momiji: (So he’s saying the cake made him so happy that he had to avoid accepting it, and even ran out of the dorm just so he could avoid inviting misfortune…)

Nagi: But sometimes, no matter how careful I am, the happiness just piles up anyways.

Nagi: That’s when I bring these out.

Momiji: Flowers…?

Nagi: My special ability– Flower Power: Imposed Blessings*.

Momiji: …Um?

Nagi: By imbuing flowers with the energy from my accumulated happiness, I can impose the excess onto others. There's no limit to how many flowers can be handed out. The only debuff I have to suffer is embarrassment.

Momiji: (Oh…)

Momiji: (Is that why he was handing out flowers in the middle of the street the first time I met him…?)

Momiji: (Honestly, I’m not sure how much of this I’m supposed to believe… But at the very least, I can tell Nagi-kun is being serious about this.)

Momiji: I…see. So if you give away your flowers—

Nagi: The misfortune’s rebound gets weaker. 

Momiji: –The misfortune’s rebound gets weaker…… Right. 

Nagi: (As expected, she looks really confused.)

Momiji: Um, let’s see if I got this right– You felt that joining HAMA Tours, and living at HAMA House would—

Nagi: Accumulate a debt of happiness.

Momiji: Which is why you left.

Nagi: Yes. Something like–

Nagi: Something like working together, and living alongside others, just like a ‘family’... There’s no way to predict the amount of happiness I’d receive from just being there.

Momiji: (The amount of happiness…)

Nagi: Being surrounded by happiness like that… Holding hands, and shouting POTHARU together with everyone—

Nagi: It wouldn’t surprise me if an earthquake hit right after, and HAMA House ended up as a pile of rubble…! 

Momiji: …… 

Nagi: (She looks stunned. I guess that’s expected.)

Nagi: (It was just impossible for someone like me, who’s always avoided other people, to suddenly work with others and live alongside them.)

Nagi: (She probably thinks I’m a weirdo. It’s not something you can wrap your head around. It’s a natural reaction.)

Nagi: (I’ll just get myself fired right here and now, so I can return to my old lifestyle. A life with no big waves, just the mundane everyday.)

Momiji: I understand your situation now.

Nagi: …… 

Momiji: Can I have all your flowers, then? 

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: —Huh?

Momiji: You just have to reduce that, um, debt of happiness, by giving away your flowers, right?

Momiji: But it’s probably difficult for you to find people to give flowers to on a daily basis, huh?

Nagi: …Is that… where this conversation is supposed to go?

Momiji: I think so?

Momiji: Then um, maybe your costs increase because you have to give out more flowers?

Nagi: No, that’s not really a problem. I can get a good discount if I buy it in bulk, so… 

Momiji: I see. Then, it’s just a problem of who you can give your flowers to. Accosting strangers to give them flowers is probably taxing for you, and confusing for the other person too.

Momiji: But, since I know what’s going on, I can take as many flowers as you want to give away.

Nagi: I… I guess that makes sense. 

Nagi: Wouldn’t it be a bother to you…?

Momiji: Of course not. You can never have too many flowers! I mean, flowers give a feeling of a fresh beginning, you know? They’re always nice to have.

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: Here.

Momiji: Oh! A flower! Thank you very much. You popped that out like some kinda magician!

Nagi: …Flowers have always been a part of my life, before I’d even realized it. That’s why, it’s always there, right beside me, where I can reach for it whenever I want.

Momiji: Still, what a large flower! What’s it called?

Nagi: Peony.

Momiji: Aw, it’s so pretty! And it smells so good too!

Nagi: —......

Nagi: Next, this one.

Momiji: It has such a unique shape… What’s its name? 

Nagi: Serruria.

Momiji: It’s so peculiar and cute! I wonder what I should decorate with it… 

Nagi: Here.

Momiji: This is a crazy amount! It’s starting to look like a huge bouquet at this point!

Nagi: Here.

Momiji: Oh dear, the colors are clashing…!

Nagi: Here.

Momiji: I can’t see in front of me anymore…! *giggles* But—

Momiji: Thank you, Nagi-kun!

Nagi: I should be the one saying that.

Nagi: Thank you for taking on my happiness, Chief. 

Notes:

Yajirobe is a term used for Japanese balancing toys. The mechanism involves balancing the main body at a fulcrum and making sure it doesn’t tilt too far in either direction before it’s balanced again, swinging back like a pendulum.

The name of Nagi’s ‘special ability’ literally translates to “imposing happiness/good fortune onto others through giving away flowers” which is super long hence why it got changed. He’s the type to make up silly names anyways.

Flower Language:

Peony Bashfulness, Shyness

Serruria Yearning, Beautiful heart

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Masterlist

[kikimorart]

[38sr]

THE TURTLENECK SUIT COMBO ACTUALLY STAYED!?!?!?!?

[v0idwraith]

Some of y’all are setting yourselves up to be real disappointed on July 30th

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

Heyy are you on Wattpad? Because if you aren't then someone reposted a story from you on there. I think it was the biker ghost story I wasn't sure if that's you because the account goes by another name than halycone of the sea

I am on Wattpad (by that I mean I have an account because people have stolen my fics before and I have to report them there. I never use it/post anything on it).

But I'd love if you could tell me who uploaded it! Totally send me another ask or a dm because it was 100% not me and I never gave permission for anybody to do that!

[sammygender]

hi.. erm im back (anon from the last 2 asks) (im too scared to un-anon sorry) i want to ask (another) genuine question abt wincest because ur the nicest person ive ever met who's willing to talk abt it from both sides.

i guess i just don't get why people ship wincest? background: im aromantic and have a hard time understanding certain shippy stuff, but i do notice alot of arophobic statements in regards to the evidence given as to why people ship. ex: a lot of "brothers don't look at each other like that." type things. (which i know is not wincest exclusive and is often used by destiel shippers too)

also i notice alot of people being quite amatonormative (definition: the assumption that all human beings pursue love or romance.) so it's hard to even take wincest shippers seriously when all their evidence tends to be perpetuating arophobic sentiments and stuff.

we can all agree that their relationship is seriously unhealthy. but i just have a hard time with it being even borderline incestuous. i also really like the idea of relationship anarchy (definition: relationships within this structure are fluid, and therefore have no solid differentiation between sexual, romantic, or platonic relationships.) so to me it's like. well it's platonic because they say it is? only the people within a relationship can determine what that relationship is and they have?

anyways i know im throwing a lot of words and definitions at you. you're just extremely helpful to talk to and i like what you have to say, so id be extremely interested in your opinions about this.

hi anon!!! im so sorry i literally yapped like crazy in response to this. had no idea i was capable of this much thought on this topic. everything is under the read more

TLDR for the TLDR: for me the 'borderline incestuous' nature of their relationship isnt actually the way they act with each other cause i do think boundaries of romantic/platonic r weird and fake (tho by normal 'societal standards' sam and dean r strange). its more the framing of it by the narrative and genre conventions of spn as a horror. i think. <3

everything im abt to say has been written on at length by much smarter people than me - if ur interested i probably have reblogged other peoples posts on similar topics and tagged them somewhere under #poison in the water and maybe #she walked in on us. i am SO sorry for the mountain of yap you have unleashed.

before i rly start, re: talking abt the concept of wincest from different angles/sides - its honestly so totally beyond me why people dont actually DISCUSS this stuff more. ofc wincest shippers are sometimes obnoxious when they go ‘NORMAL BROTHERS DON’T ACT LIKE THIS!!!’ over anything (like i personally don’t like the whole ‘sam and dean are OBVIOUSLY in love because they bring each other back from the dead!!’ thing. like why is that romantic. i’d try my hardest to bring my siblings back from the dead too.) but like u said pretty much all shippers do that. i think people are (UNDERSTANDABLY) squicked out by the idea of incest, even fictional, and have an immediate kneejerk reaction when people ‘corrupt’ their favorite characters by talking abt it in relation to them. and i completely understand just not wanting to engage with readings you find uncomfortable or odd!! TV can just be escapism there’s nothing wrong with that!! but i tend to find immediate negative reactions against anything that even ACKNOWLEDGES the incestuous subtext in spn uncharitable and annoying. for one, incest is a real thing that happens and its not shipping goggles or creep behavior to look at fiction through the lens of it, just as its not whatsoever unreasonable to look at, for example, the azazel demon blood storyline as a CSA allegory (again of course all this is real heavy and just one interpretation and absolutely no hate for fans who like… just don’t want to think like this <3). for two, i do think there is an undercurrent of it written into supernatural with intentionality to further the themes of familial horror.

so to kind of…. explain i guess… why i say i can see canonical backing for sam and dean’s relationship as incestuous or incestuous-adjacent (lol), i have to go back to the general incest subtext in supernatural as a whole, from a completely academic-interest and not at all shippy way. like i said ofc SPN is primarily a show about FAMILY HORROR - ‘family is hell’, to quote eric kripke in the pilot commentary. or at least this is how i view it; a lot of destiel fans, for example, tend to see it more as…. idk really, i don’t claim to have much contact with them, but certainly not usually a horror. an action-adventure. a western. a story about a Tragic American Hero (sorry im being tongue in cheek and bitchy). i think viewing the show with a sam-focused lens tends to make you view it as horror for… a lot of reasons which i won’t get into here. but i PERSONALLY - getting off track here, sorry - view it as horror. that’s what he originally intended, and it’s what supernatural is most successful at doing. and incest in horror, especially gothic horror, especially gothic horror about the family and the home, is well-trodden territory (where’s my essay from last term about incest in wuthering heights where i somehow ended up, while researching, on an essay about wincest itself). - and supernatural is full of allusions to it. azazel’s silhouette in the pilot as intentionally strikingly similar to john’s, when he first feeds sam demon blood (framed as a CSA allegory, whether intentional or not). then azazel actually possessing john later. mary making the deal that dooms her family for years after via kissing her father on the mouth. hunting portrayed as something abnormal, irregular, taboo in direct opposition to a ‘normal family’ (tho abuse also comes from the nuclear family etc etc). then you can look at sam and dean specifically….

from the pilot, you have the woman in white telling sam, who has just left to go on a roadtrip with his brother, that he’s about to be unfaithful to jess; even if this could technically be said to be about the fact she then attempts to assault him (tho that doesn’t really fit with woman in white lore?? she goes after people who have already cheated…), it’s still portraying jess and dean as innately in opposition, just as jess has to die in order for sam to join dean. all the loaded lines about ‘the way they were raised’ - dean telling sam he can’t escape it. supernatural is clear: the rot is IN the family.

OF COURSE all of this can equally just be about familial abuse!! and IS about familial abuse!! but the way the story unfolds DOES position sam and dean in…. shall we say Roles. sam is the feminised ‘bitch’ to dean’s ‘jerk’; they’re mistaken for a couple in 1x08, in 1x18, in 2x16, in s8; they’re compared to bonnie and clyde, to mallory and mickey, serial killer lover duos. crowley tells dean, ‘you’re lying to sam like he’s your wife’. dean says, at a later opportunity, ‘what about sam? does he want a divorce?’. an ANGEL tells their HALF BROTHER that sam and dean are ‘psychotically, irrationally, EROTICALLY codependent’. dean himself is unable to name what’s between them, explicitly saying ‘love, family, whatever it is’ (which is just SUCH an odd line. Like it’s love and family between you two Dean is it not??? Why are you acting like neither of those words describe it???). then there’s the way jensen and jared act it, their physicality, eg. sam looking genuinely like he’s about to pull dean in for a kiss during playthings 2x16… i also find the whole ‘brothers don’t look at each other like that!!’ annoying, but tbh, they do give each other wild looks sometimes. the end of wendigo sticks out to me whenever i watch it as a genuine ‘why is jared/sam looking at jensen/dean like that… what possessed him…’.

wait another addition - when i first wrote this i also totally forgot about 4x14 sex and violence, which iirc has dean’s siren, originally described only in terms of sex/romance, literally telling him ‘i should be your little brother’. of course the concept of a siren that isn’t really about sex or even romance is really interesting and one valid reading - and also lends itself to a reading of dean as aro which i rly like. but i don’t think that reading is any more or less valid than the more obvious one. (irrelevant side bar but there’s a 2003 sociology book about sibling incest that i read for an essay on wuthering heights called ‘Siblings: Sex and Violence and that makes me go ??? every time i think about the episode. Literally what. That has to be a coincidence. But??)

i think in regards to why people ‘ship’ wincest, a lot of it is of course just that they just kind of See It, for whatever reason. whether it’s the thematic (which i talked on at length already sorry <3) or just the way they look at each other or just because jared and jensen are hot or just because they think it’s really interesting to explore an added dimension to sam and dean’s already messed up relationship. same with destiel, same with sastiel, same with whatever, like u said. shipping culture in general IS hugely amatonormative - people love to declare wide statements about what people who are In Love do and don’t do, which are always silly and shallow. partly why i don’t really consider myself as someone who ships things in general.

i also totally agree w u that only people within a relationship can determine what that relationship is. im not aro but i also really like the concept of relationship anarchy. however, when i see the incestuous subtext between sam and dean, it’s more in a media studies way than in a way of analysing their actual Relationship (though to be fair i’m not a wincest shipper); eg. asking the question why is their relationship portrayed ‘like that’, and what does that say about the themes of spn itself. also it is just an interesting concept to a lot of people.

TLDR the reason i can view sam and dean’s relationship as borderline incestuous isn’t due to their codependency, or dean’s intense possessiveness, or how close they are, or because they spend all of their time together, or because they’ve brought each other back from the dead multiple times and get suicidal without each other. this is even though in our society all that together IS often coded as romantic/sexual and is definitely acknowledged in that lens by the writers (hence constant comparison of them to married couples) - because it could also just as equally be completely platonic and completely insane and the result of the world’s worst trauma bond (the latter which it CERTAINLY is <3). when i talk abt canonical backing for their relationship as borderline incestuous, it’s more about the narrative framing and context surrounding it. at the very least, their relationship is ‘abnormal’, deviant (meant in the most literal meaning as an digression from social norms); different from accepted ‘sibling relationships’, pointed out by the characters around them. <- none of this makes any sense but its 3am and im on tumblr so its ok.

feel free to dm also if u want to or just send an ask back!! and also ofc feel free to argue with/disagree with me in any way u like. or ask wtf i mean by anything cause i talk too much. tbh from what u say it sounds like u just don’t really vibe with shipping culture in general (might be an assumption sorry if so) which i totally understand/agree w. but i hope i answered ur question in some way somehow

[thewingedwolf]

i don’t want to use the zach gif bc i’m not angry about it but also if mj really does put up angela….just run chelsie her money mj why are you wasting leah’s fucking time right now

[poseidonsworst]

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna become a tea snob!!

10 minutes later

damn this oolong dry as fuck and kinda tasteless. guess I'm ruining the next steep with milk and sugar...

[teabutmakeitazure]

holding my mother's face to check her temperature and seeing her shrug off my touch as unnecessary and being visibly uncomfortable at being touched and going oh. that's why I'm this way.