#I will most probably update this list in the future

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Running To You

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, control, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Sister series to Just What I Needed

Summary: You're rescued by a man who you don't even know is a real hero.

Characters: nomad Steve Rogers

Note: a stressed out steve rogers plus a cutie. it bloomed from the theory of Steve's beard being a symbol of his darker side, or a darker state of mind. In the wat that he would usually pride himself on a neat appearance but lets himself go a bit when he's not at his best.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You stumble up over the curb as you check the list on your phone. Oops, you should really look where you're going. You steady yourself and giggle at your own clumsiness. For how precise your inventory is, the rest of you is a bit of a clutter.

You dodge through the onslaught of pedestrians and apologise a deep 'hey, lady' thunders through at you. You quickly dip into the store and shield yourself with the door. You gasp and catch your breath, smiling at the associate nearest to you. The organic shop probably isn't the most exciting place to shop but it has most of the ingredients you need. Raw honey, tallow wax, essential oils...

You greet them with a small wave and 'hi' and turn to look at the shelves along the wall. They don't acknowledge you. Most people don't, not that you mind. You keep to yourself.

The door jingles and another customer enters. They pause by the door and look around. They might be lost. It's not unusual for one more person to wander in but usually they don't stay long.

He clears his throat and you do your best to focus on your list. You're going to need a basket. As you go to grab one from the stack, the man faces you. You shy away and stop short of latch onto one of the mesh baskets.

"Excuse me, miss," he holds up a familiar item; a red wallet with white polkadots. It's yours! "I think you dropped this."

"Oh, my, I did," you give a sheepish smile to his chest. He's an awfully big man. "Thank you."

"Yeah, no problem," he hands it over.

You accept it and hold it to your chest. You give a tiny shimmy, "thank you so so much!"

You dare to look up and meet his eyes. They're blue but reticent. He scratches his beard as he nods and backs up.

"I think I'm in your way," he grabs one of the baskets and offers it to you.

"Oh, no, but yes, thank you, I need one," you take it.

"Mm, yeah," he smooths out the tuft in his beard that he was pulling on. The hair is thick and coarse; the locks on his head are just as dense, pushed back away from the face, though his chin-length strands try to droop past his ears.

You put your head down and turn back to the shelves. He lingers, seemingly lost as he looks around. What's the odds that in a city like this someone would do something so nice? You look at the list again then peek over at him. He squints at a jar of sourdough starter.

"What do you use in your beard?" You ask then cover your mouth. "I'm sorry, that's not... polite, is it?"

He shrugs, "hm, I just use shampoo, I guess. Face wash?"

"Right. Well, it's pretty shiny." You scrunch up your face. "I'm sorry." You chew your lip in embarrassment. Your cheeks are ablaze. "I'm working on my beard oil. I make it. Um, sell it. But..."

"Beard oil," he repeats thoughtfully. "I don't... I guess maybe I should."

He touches his beard again, a crease between his brows.

"I don't meant to-- I... I'm not... it's cute. I mean. Suits you. I was just--" you show your teeth nervously. "I don't have a beard so..."

"Yeah," he agrees awkwardly and tucks his hair back behind his ears before it can fall forward.

"I ramble..." you drift off and face the shelves again. "I'll stop bothering you."

He inhales and backs up. He turns to the door then stops. You sense his gaze.

"It's a bit busy. Rush hour," he says. "You don't mind if I hide in here with you?"

You glance over. You shrug. "Um, yeah, sure. It's not my store. Not sure how interesting it is."

You fumble between the basket and your phone. You hum and scour the shelves with your eyes, scrunching your nose in concentration. He comes closer.

"What are you looking for?" He asks.

"Soybean oil."

"Soybean oil," he nods. "For..."

"Soap," you cheep.

"Ah. In my day, ma just used fat and lye."

You give his statement a thought. You've seen some recipes from way back. Like long ago. Almost a hundred years now. A lot of people prefer the gentler ingredients.

"Oh, that's cool that she made her own stuff," you muse as you take a canister and tap your spreadsheet to mark off that item.

"Yeah," you feel him trying to see the screen. "You're really organized."

"Can't forget anything," you say.

"Sure." He lurks and looks around before he focuses on you again. "I'm Steve, by the way."

You look at him. He's just as big as the last time you looked. His blue eyes seem uncertain. He can't be afraid of someone like you. You give your name.

"Nice to meet, you, Steve."

"You too," he agrees. "Can I help?"

"Oh, sure. What do you prefer? Rose or Gardenia?"

"Rose is nice," he says.

"I agree," you say and pluck up the small bottle.

"You said you sell stuff?"

"Sure do," you chime. You tuck the bottle into the basket. "You know, you don't have to pretend to care."

"What? I... I'm curious."

You eye him, "well, Steve, I'll believe you, but there's not much to be curious about."

His brows furrow, not so much in agitation, but intrigue. "The beard oil. How much?"

"Oh, you know, I could get you a sample from my hoard. Since you got me my wallet back. You don't have to do all that."

"I want to. I think you right," he runs his hands over his beard. "Needs a bit of taming."

You laugh, "looks good to me. Oh, you can try coconut oil. It's real easy and you can use it in your hair too."

"Coconut oil," he says. "I'll add it to the list. What about yours?"

"Soy wax," you look at your list. "I can use that for lots of things."

He lifts his heads, shoulders wide and straight, looking around on a mission. He strides around the rack behind him and you watch him search a shelf. He picks up two jars. He comes back to you. "Which do you prefer?" He holds up to two different sellers. You take the one in his left hand.

"Thank you," you grin.

"Next," he looks down at your phone.

"Jeez, you sure are helpful," you check again.

"They sell wicks. I need the long ones. Like this." You hold the basket and phone at a length.

He nods again, "on it."

You point him to the corner where they keep the candlemaking stuff and you go back to your own search. He's too quick for you. He has a hole bunch in hand. You have him put half in your basket and he takes the rest back.

Huh, looks like you made a friend.

🎀

Steve holds the door for you. It's so nice you thank him for what must be the dozenth time since you met. Maybe only even an hour ago.

As you get outside, you turn back to him, certain to keep away from the pedestrians who pay no heed to obstacles. "I can take that bag too."

He looks down as the door shuts behind him. "Pretty heavy," he says.

"Oh, I always do that. I forgot my little rolly bag," you shrug. "I can handle it."

"Wouldn't feel right letting you carry it all. Mrs. Rogers didn't raise a punk."

"Is that your mom? I bet she's nice too," you say. "It's alright, Steve. You've done enough. I owe you. My wallet would've been gone with the wind and I never coulda bought all this."

He stares at you, then once more peeks down at the fabric bag. You always bring the reusable; they're much stronger than the paper ones supplied in-store. He chews his lower lip.

"If you owe me, well, you wanna have a coffee? Together?" He asks.

You blink. That's so nice of him too.

"Coffee?" You press your lips together. You feel bad saying no. Not that you want to. It wouldn't be so bad to have someone to sit with. For once. "I don't drink it."

He nods, "tea? Hot chocolate? Water?"

You laugh.

"I'll have a cookie," you offer. "Um," you look up and down the street. "Where..."

"I saw a place. Never been in. Wanna give it a try?"

"Oh, cool. Yeah. I love new places, even if they're scary," you say.

"Here," he takes the other bag from your hands before you can argue. "It's a block back."

"Wait, Steve! I can carry that."

"Not if I'm around," he insists, "come on."

He rolls his shoulder in a gesture for you to follow. You huff and hop into motion. You walk next to him, wary of the oncoming people along the sidewalk. A man nearly bowls you over and you knock into Steve's elbow.

"Oof, I'm sorry."

"Get on the inside of me, doll," he says. "Used to be that people took their hat off when they passed a lady. Now they don't care if... well... you move."

He stops and lets you step across his path. He keeps you between him and the storefronts as he strides on undaunted. You wish you were as brave as him.

"Ah, there it is." He tilts his chin up.

You look ahead. You see the sign sticking out in the shape of a coffee cup.

"Oh, I see it," you hurdle ahead. "My turn."

You pull open the door as he follows. He stops to let another customer out before he enters. You follow him.

"There's a table," he nods.

You follow his gaze to the wall. You lead the way and he trails you. He puts the bags in one of the chairs.

"How about you sit?" He suggests. "What kind of cookie do you want?"

"Oh, Steve, uh," you pull out your wallet, "if they have oatmeal--"

"My treat." He insists.

"You can't do that," you argue.

"You gonna stop me?" He challenges. You gulp and blink at him. You don't think you could stop him from anything. He's quite the figure.

"I guess not." You murmur.

His expression softens, "hey, I'm kidding. I didn't... scare you, did I?"

"N-no," you force a smile. "I appreciate that. Thank you. Oatmeal. That's all."

"Alright. I'll be back." He turns and you see his shoulders rise and fall with a heavy breath.

You sit and jiggle your leg as you look around. You avoid the coffee shops, even the bakeries. They're always so busy. You are methodical in your ventures but today's seems to have gone off the rails. Not in the worst way. One time, you tried to take the subway and ended up lost in the rain.

There's women who look like they could be on a TV show with their fabulous dresses and perfect waves; a man in a suit with his laptop and a single earbud in, and an older couple near the door. There are many others in the line to get a treat of their own.

You turn in the chair and press your palms to the table. You stare at the wood between your hands. You feel the heat speckling over your scalp, that sense of suffocation burrowing into your chest, the voices swirling around you like a raging wind.

"Here," Steve interrupts your internal panic. He places a large cookie before you and mug. "They had this strawberry cream thing. No coffee."

You look at the pink concoction with a dark red swirl in the middle. "Mmmm," you lean forward to admire it. "Wow. It looks good."

He puts his own coffee down and moves the bags under the table. He sits and unzips his jacket to let the tension out of the fabric. You smile and pick up the cookie. You hide behind it.

"I can't eat this alone. It's as big as my face." You giggle. 

You break it in two and offer him half. He eyes it for a moment then accepts it with a thanks. You take a bite then round your eyes at him. He's staring. Oh no. Is that rude? You chew and swallow quickly.

"What?" You hide your mouth behind your hand.

"Nothing. It's just..." he glances around the shop. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" You make googly eyes and cross them. "Is there something on my nose?"

He snorts. "No. There's not." He sighs. "Just haven't had a nice quiet coffee in a while. It's nice."

Your brows pop up and you smile big. "I'm sorry I'm not a big coffee person. I tried it once and it made my belly gurgle."

"It's fine. Bad habit," he taps the handle of his mug with his index finger. "Are you gonna try that cup of sugar?"

"Not much better, is it?" You pick up the mug and blow over it. You put your lips over the brim and taste it cautiously. You hum. "Mm," you pull it away. "Delicious! This is a tummy ache worth having."

His cheek dimples as he watches you. You fidget against his gaze. He's nice but you never had anyone stare at you so much.

[wondrous-eos]

FFXV Modding Resources

Flagrum is a modding tool and mod manager, lets you install both Steam Workshop as well as earc mods very easily. It also lets you create mods, browse the game files with model and texture previews, extract all kinds of files from the game's earc archives, and more! For some features/early access you will need to support the developer on Patreon and link your Patreon account with Flagrum. Video guide how to install and use Flagrum. Flagrum Blender addon for those who want to create Steam Workshop mods or make renders. The addon lets you import individual FFXV models or entire FFXV environments into Blender. It also lets you export models for Steam Workshop mods. An entire wiki page with multiple guides and information about FFXV modding that the Flagrum developer has collected over the years. Lucent is a visual scripting tool, lets you alter the game's script files visually via nodes. To download the tool you will need to support the developer on Patreon. "Exineris" discord server where you can discuss mods and/or other FFXV related topics (try not to derail the discussion to projects like KH or versusXIII; that's not the purpose of the server). Also contains practical information for modders or 3D artists with links to many useful resources. Flagrum cannot do everything yet so you may still require other tools such as: Noesis (can preview models but only once you extract them from the game's earc archives (Flagrum lets you view these even inside of the earc archives); also lets you preview animations which Flagrum cannot do at the moment) Cindy Text Editor (lets you modify text in the game such as subtitles or various signs, etc) Audiomog (lets you mod the sound files including dialogues, sound effects, and background music) More information can be found on the wiki page linked above. Where to download FFXV mods: Steam Workshop for Steam mods (weapons, outfits, model replacements; you need to have an account to DL) Skymods (a Russian repository for (not only) old Steam mods, no need to have a Steam account to DL) 3DM Game (a Chinese repository for old Steam mods, no need to have a Steam account to DL) Nexus mods for (mostly outdated) earc mods (mods that modify the game's "ebony" archives aka earcs). Flagrum should still be able to install these as legacy mods. Modworkshop (another repository with earc mods, was mostly active when Flagrum started) CurseForge (yet another repository with earc mods, where the Flagrum developer moved as a more suitable hosting platform with the latest updated earc mods, including the Chocomog carnival) Snapshot mods for the bros and others (earc mods that make characters use specific poses so that you can take interesting pictures; links also contain instructions) Reblog to spread awareness! Thank you!

[ayara-resara]

.

[crystalkitty1220]

Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN

[multongsisig]

uhm sorry for the silly question but you said elias is your top3 and ohara 6 and i wanted to know the whole list ._.

Man, I meant to answer this as soon as I saw it but then it got away from me. I took this ask as an opportunity to yap, but even I was like oh this got too long so here's the list itself, and I'll leave the explanations if you're interested in that under the cut. This is ranked mainly by how much brainrot they give me.

Shuri

Richelieu

Elias

Jeremy

Nora

Ohara

Reihe Family (Alice, Hermann)

Ali

Theobald

Explanations:

1. Shuri I adore Shuri more than anyone else in the manhwa. Like do I even need to explain. She is such a strong multifaceted character, so full of love and kindness in spite of her heartbreakingly tragic history. I've seen people call her boring, but I really can't see it especially after the Jeremy trial in S1. This is a person who will sacrifice herself, completely forego her own happiness, for the sake of those she cares about. Yet this sacrificial tendency is also motivated by her fear of being abandoned, not simply from innate kindness. Characters like that I am always weak to and will always love.

2. Richelieu If you follow me I doubt this is surprising, he's so fun to me. He's a terrifying villain who's actually a real threat and challenge to the main characters. I like how his motivations are well established, so all his actions just make sense you. Religious villains aren't uncommon in rofan, but in my experience it's typically the [Good Church was secretly Evil mwahaha] trope you know? So I find him, a character with time given to actually expand on his POV, very refreshing, very alluring. Though, what initially drew me in was his being a narrative foil to Shuri, the parallels in the connection he perceives them to have with the "2nd life", the visual contrast constantly at play in their encounters to an almost genre bending degree… I go bonkers for shit like that between protagonists and antagonists. It's because of him that I picked up asm again in S2 and truly fell in love with the story. I'll keep it at that lest this gets too long.

3. Elias Elias… Elias my beloved problem child. He's kind of framed as being the more emotionally perceptive sibling, so the fact that most of his conflicts are internal ones bleeding out into bad decisions just makes me so 😩😩😩 His feelings of alienation and separation issues within his own family endears me to him, I'm very fond of black sheep characters He also hides all this with his friendly and comic relief demeanor which makes me love him more… the multiple arcs we had with Elias as a main figure solidified him to this position.

4. Jeremy Honestly the gap between him and Nora is so so small, but Jeremy makes me just a little bit more insane because of the tragic aspect of his character in his quiet love for Shuri that, thanks to their unfortunate circumstances, could never be, despite those very circumstances being what allowed him to grow such love for her. Aside from that, it's the usual obvious things people love about him, his protectiveness, sarcasm, kindness beneath the rbf, etc etc. It's always great to see him interact with other characters, especially Shuri or Nora.

5. Nora I don't have much to say that hasn't been said by others, he's a beloved and popular character for a reason. I grew to like him a lot more in S2, we got to see more sides of him and see how he's grown since S1, especially in his scenes with Jeremy and Shuri. Also, he's an artist so I feel a sense of kinship… the whole sketchbook thing and shuri painting was so real. His conflict with his family is also tragically compelling. That last chapters that had him in S2 hit me in the guttt.

6. Ohara Mentioned most of what I like about her in the last ask. Ohara's got problems and she's very dear to me for it!!

7. Reihe Family (Alice, Hermann) I really liked the glimpses we've had of them in the manhwa. I became fond of Hermann, the Neuschwanstein's uncle aka Elias look-alike, upon rereads because of the parallels with him and Elias, they're both the black sheep of their families 🥺 one day I'll finish that Alice & Hermann comic...

8. Ali My initial impression was just that he was a sweet boy, but then it showed he's quite the sharp cookie like his sister and I went ooooh! He navigated those political situations in S2 so cleverly. He's def going to be even more of a force to be reckoned with when he's older.

9. Theobald He's 9th on this list of favorite characters but I can't say I like him more than everyone not mentioned above. I enjoy his relationships is all. Like, anything with Richelieu is just great. There's also Shuri, Nora, Jeremy, Letran/Family of course- it's crazy how messy all his relationships are 😭

And thennn it's everyone else. Even if the character isn't on the list doesn't mean I don't like them or don't like reading about them. Personally, I find that every character in the story has something you can chew on!

[acourtofquestions]

EMPIRE OF STORMS :

— Chapter 65 - 75 —

10 Chapters left (either a little less or more than 100 pages)

*post to be added onto as I read*

Binge-reading-day-time (to finish it off😭) Tower of Dawn at the ready, bonus chapter saved & on hand

… and whatever the heck this post template is 🤷‍♀️ to add onto with rambling & insanity & quotes & emotions so we shall see what happens… this post shall live update (idk if that works here… we’ll find out… I may also just go read in a cave for a week, grieve & wear all black, & them come out eventually… mostly it’s here because I don’t want to post 80 times & flood the feed for historical fangirl purposes (if you wanna know follow this post if not skip it :-) & more so I’m too tired (it’s been a LONG week) & too far into fangirling & feels mode to edit lol) 🤦‍♀️🙃

(of course spoiler warnings cause these 10 chapters & earlier books are on the table for discussion if not already specifically the discussion itself) & of course please be aware or give spoiler warnings for me too within interactions of this post (I am only to EoS Ch. 65 rn) and now *drumroll please* the spoiler “more” bar of safety & feed spam semi-prevention🤞

Final warning: this post will probably be ridiculously long!!! So… read at your own risk… it may be rambling, artsy, incoherent, boring, filled with nothing, or like 75 pages😅 — I mostly make these posts cause it’s fun for me to look back & see when & what I thought on a first read; I love talking fandoms with y’all about it, but like plz skip these posts if you don’t like them😂 not even I know what this will be🤣

Current Pre-Read RAMBLE:

I NEED MY BRAIN TO STOP HUMMING “HOW DID IT END”😭 — It is also replaying the John Mulaney quote: “I try to stay optimistic, even though I must admit things are getting pretty sticky.”🤣 … legit don’t think any other series has had so many problems at once, like maybe the final scenes of Deathly Hallows, but I’ve still got two more VERY (thankfully) long books… so…

Current theories (just finished Chapter 64, as previous post addressed): I think Aelin & Rowan may have had a secret wedding, both based on SJM style, the fact Rowan feels like King & Aelin will not leave him (I still don’t know why the “spark died”), and random fandom knowledge that isn’t clear but has led me to believe it. I think Elena may be Manon’s ancestor as well as Aelin’s both due to the moon white hair descriptions, Yen/Yang yet the same “dyad” vibe they have, & the eye belonging to both. I’m really hopeful that everyone’s side plots will come in handy, Aelin while lost seems to have something, Rowan’s calling all his cousins, Aedion is ready for war, we have Lysandra who’s a friggin dragon, and maybe Abraxos will show up with all the 13 and Petrah’s clan and I’m going with that because I refuse to accept any other answer. I am concerned there is going to be a betrayal of some sort, a revealing of info from long ago, and some possible faked deaths. I’m intrigued by repeating lines like the terms “endure”, “yield”, “live”, “hold the line”, or plots like “time” “ash” etc.

What the heck does Maeve want (worried about the way she gets revenge), definitely don’t trust the keys or the lock (though I’ve got faith in Manon & Aelin as a team + Dorian’s smarts), & don’t trust any of these plots. Or any of their self-sacrificial tendencies. Also I need everyone to admit there mates/soulmates already because it’s pretty dang clear *coughs* I’m looking at you Elorcan, Manorian, Lysaedion (ok I’ll give yall some credit for going slow), & ROWAELIN (my gods how have you not yet?). Also Aedion dude I love you but why are you being like this but also mood. And Rowan’s sad eyes could kill me. COME ON ELIDE SMARTS SAVE US! Let’s go team, we’ve got Ansel, let’s go Grettles SOMEONE SHOW UP AND SAVE THE DAY replenish the power LETS GO!!!

Quotes I think are about to come full circle: The Queen Who Was Promised … The Threads of Fate — hoping? Nameless is my price. — I am terrified of this one … And I’ve got a feeling the answer to your first question (ghost-Queen Elena Galathynius) is no, I don’t think I’m going to be able to forgive you for whatever you’re about to do😅😂.

Wondering?: what is Maeve’s power (I think I forgot), I still wanna know more about Fenrys & how his powers work (I’m worried about his twin), trying to remember what the stone from Kaltain is & how many Wyrdkeys we have? … why do I feel like someone’s gonna break out shadow fire… or Aelin’s water powers… just something!

Worried: it’s the Valg, and they haven’t been doing their posses/mind-trip thing (did Lysandra go through it) and with Maeve I don’t see her not having some connection to Erawan & I’m worried over all of it. Also Lorcan as a character (because this entire book he’s been under a death sentence & he would die for Elide). Rowan & Aelin because they are always ready to die together. Slightly less for Aedion cause he’s determined to fight for a life with Lysandra, hoping Lysandra shares that instead of “save my friends even if I have to die for it”. Still crying over Dorian’s line & simultaneously holding onto THE FEAR OF LOSS quote cause IT IS DESTROYING ME JUST AS MUCH so I can try to take Ardions advice and hope that’s enough torture for Maas to leave my bb’s be😂

Hoping for: that⬆️ they’ll be fine (I know it won’t be but I need this) & maybe some more throwbacks LETS GET SOME SPIDERSILK GUYS

But I’m loving the character growth, interactions, and friendships; and in a small way am stupidly optimistic (because I need them to be okay) & I know-I know, something happens I just don’t know what & don’t want to but have to & aghhhhh time to read

Chapter 65:

this is giving MAJOR NIGHTFALL vibes (with a minor in HoF Aelin’s past paralells/vibes). LETS GO FIREHEART, SHOW UP ELENA, ITS GOTTA BE EROWAN IN THE TOMB—THATS GOTTA BE GOOD—WHY DOES EVERYTHING SEEM LIKE DOOM?

I can summarize this chapter by saying the tears have begun.

LOST MEMORIES… okay this is really feeling like deathly hallows

They talk about the lock like it’s a living thing?

I’ve been watching too much TVD & now I’m scared of everyone getting trapped in coffins/sarcophagi

ALWAYS WITH “THE PRICE”

Ten years

Always that word “fool”

Wait Elena was Demi-fae? — did I miss or forget this?

Anything… but not that.

The three goddesses… wait… was one Maeve??? was one hella or annieth?? too many questions!!! too much information!!! MY SOUL HURTS! AGH!

“They were as mighty and vast and eternal as a human was to a mayfly” — how does Maas make everything so poetic

So you’re telling me Erowan is one of them too — shit — why couldn’t we have killed the duke like chapter one?😭

HOLY SHIT — Did ELENA kill Aelin’s parents?? — How many plots have been running? The world’s longest long game… this is seriously… I don’t know rather to curse say wow cry or reevaluate my life and I’m only barely in… HERE WE GO INDEED

As mad as I am at Elena I kinda think this is the worst punishment, one that isn’t yours… like… I almost pity Elena. Knowing her children were raised to die. Watching for hundreds of years as everything she loved died and fell to ruin. All because she was foolish because she wanted to save them.

She and Aelin are far more alike than I knew… but she shaped Aelin to be different… to listen… those edges have been taken off by tragedy… that Elena caused…

It’s Dorian or Aelin. It has always been one or the other. Aelin the Queen they need. Or Dorian the witches soulmate. Lambs to slaughter. — MOTHERFU-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO-No-NONONO-NOPE!☠️ I WILL NOT LOSE EITHER OF THEM — ARE YOU KIDDING ME (this isn’t the cauldron😭) … wait but is Amren one of them😅🤣? But NO! These are THE MAIN characters! We are not losing them. No. No way. Nope! — IF ROWAELIN PULLS A ROMEO & JULIET I WILL LOSE IT

Nehemia knew and that’s why she made Aelin promise😭…

Also RHIANNON CROCHAN!!! — BESTIES???

Guess I’m gonna need these rants for any chance at keeping my sanity & breathing while reading😅😂

CHAPTER 66:

YES COURT OF TERRASEN — This is all there is to say.

Why is the mention on Rhoe and Evelin getting me all emotional?

“His real father” — oh that’s why — crap does that mean Gavriels gonna die?

Okay so egging on is Aedion’s style maybe that’s what’s been going on a little bit too

Also Rowan using a flair of white light? Did he pick up some Aelin tricks?

“To alter what the gods had made to her own liking” — my gods I love her GENIUS

SHE CAN TURN HERSELF INTO SPIDERSILK — HOLY WOW — okay so can she just become anything now?

“The court that could change the world” — I don’t know whether to laugh cry scream or all of the above

A promise to Aedion🥹

I LOVE LYSANDRA — this isn’t new it’s just EVERY CHAPTER👏🫰👑

Things are going so well it’s scaring me — Oh yeah I just remembered we still don’t know how to wield the locks, only that you have to die for it (so cool, no worries, only hope is the amulet still kinda worked after… but haha… yeah that’s gonna be a problem…) thanks brain for reminding me

Rowan knows how to use the rage THAT’S how he taught Aelin

“Ice coated his veins his heart” — I think it’s also cause there’s no Manon… but we knew Rowan’s training would come in handy

What is Aedion trying to say? Die so she’s pissed and kills everyone? I’m confused… like I think I get it I think he’s saying trust in her let the others fear don’t let fear get you killed but it also doesn’t quite add up to me

She might very well end the world for rage — an ongoing one that she fears… perhaps it’s just saying how powerful she and her love and consequential rage are? At least it’s not judgement cause he does say — Maybe she should. Maybe the world deserved it.

“Maybe Manon Blackbeak would help her do it. Maybe they’d rule over the ruins together.” — what was that vision again… wait where’s Dorian in it?

Dorian is giving Cassian vibes of I only regret not having more time with you

COME ON MAELIN (whatever Manon + Aelin friendship is named) I KNOW THIS WONT END WELL BUT COME ON… I get more nervous the more Maas warns

DORIAN HAS FIRE POWER??? — Will they mistake it for Aelin?

I’ve been worried/wondering this for a while but how does magic affect the humans? Like Aelin never burns herself… maybe cause she’s fae? But she has almost cooked from the inside out… what about Dorian? Does being human mean the flame could kill him?

Still they held the line

Dorian you didn’t fail😭

“BUT ROWAN WHITETHORN HAD NOT.” — oh HECK YES — REBELLION!!! BETRAY MAEVE!!! LETS GO! WAIT WHY ARE THINGS GOING THIS WELL

A SILVER BANNER WITH A SCREAMING HAWK — trade in the owls y’all — THE WHITETHORN HOUSE — YES finally not the betrayal I feared but the one I needed YES

And now we know what he meant by he knew the flags!!!

CHAPTER 67:

ROWAN LOVES AELIN AELIN LOVES ROWAN Time to go dig up the quote I keep pondering about him looking back and laughing at what that hawk watching the drunk brawling woman would think to know she became his world and happiness and changed everything: “He knew the house flags that flew beneath Maeve's own crest. Had counted and cataloged them all day, sorting through the catacombs of his memory. Rowan slid into his clothes and waited until he'd crept into the hall before buckling his sword belt. Still gripping the doorknob, he allowed himself one last look at her. For a moment, the past snared him--for a moment, he saw her as he'd first spied her on the rooftops of Varese, drunk and battered. He'd been in hawk form, assessing his new charge, and she'd noticed him--broken and reeling, she had still spotted him there. And stuck out her tongue at him. If someone had told him that the drunken, brawling, bitter woman would become the one thing he could not live without ... Rowan shut the door.”

I can summarize this chapter with the update that I have now begun to cry happy tears

… which is also scaring me … but YAY

Rowan had told Enda of Aelin🥹 he told them all… an army of ship protection squad in every sense of the words…

He had gotten on his knees to beg for her… the only man foolish/hopeful enough to beg the gods to let him stay with the woman he loves😭 MY SOULLLLLLL

“He had told his cousin about the woman he loved, the queen whose heart burned with wildfire. He had told Enda about Erawan, and the threat of the keys, and Maeve's own desire for them.” — he had hoped

ONE chance at peace

Darkness from Morath or Maeve or both??? — also like is Morath the same as (I want to say Gannan lol why do I keep thinking Zelda) Erawan! — like all these lines about the mountain alive and all that is it actually him — cause SJM loves a good creepy mountain plot

“To fight not for the queen who had enslaved him, but the one who had saved him.”

I will consider it

MY GODS THIS MAN (male? Fae? Idk just HIM)

TERRASEN CAN BECOME THE HOME FOR ALL THE LOST WONDERFUL TRAITORS

“EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. As if they had all met, all decided to risk ruination together.”

“Rowan had not possessed an army of his own to give to Aelin. To give to Terrasen. So he had won an army for her. Through the only things Aelin had claimed were all she wanted from him. His heart. His loyalty. His friendship. And Rowan wished his Fireheart were there to see it as the House of Whitethorn slammed into Maeve's fleet, and ice and wind exploded across the waves.” — I wish Aelin could see this too😭 UR HONOR — THEM!!! His Fireheart🥹😭 — So does power run in family’s? All whitethorns possess ice & wind??? — Yeah okay Maasverse I agree Rowan wins boyfriend of the verse/century/every fandom — Like talk about a testament of character they all would for him and even Lorcan knew it and I’m taking so much time cause I am shook cause wow wow wow WOW — “Whitethorn had done it for her. All of it, for Aelin.” — is this the first time Lorcan has called her by her name (and not his “nickname”)😂

Aedion shouting for his brother😭. A true king even if he’s just boyfriend consort👏. A good man, they did it for him, he did it for her🥹. And Maeve that’s called Karma🫰 — now I’m crying happy tears

“For a heartbeat, Lorcan allowed himself to ponder it — the power of the thing that had compelled Rowan to risk it all. And Lorcan wondered if it would perhaps be the one force that Maeve, that Erawan, would not see coming.” — LOVE TRUE LOVE MORE POWERFUL…

STOP REMINDING ME OF MAEVE AND SUFFERING SARAH😅😭 WHYYYYYYY — I wish the answer was sorry Maeve can’t come to the phone right now why because she’s dead but I guess we’ve got to have more books but like can’t we get down to one villain only huh?

Yay team bro! Go Dorian and Rowan! Go Aedion! MY COURT OF TERRASEN!!! (Just imagine them + the night court *👌👌) — DONT ANYONE DIE AND RUIN THIS FOR ME

Can Maeve just summon them? How? NO! — what price does Gavriel pay? — she didn’t even show COWARD!!! — NO MAEVE IS ON THE BEACH NO NO NOOO—

Yeah actually I’m with Lorcan GO TO ELIDE NOW “He had made a promise to her first.” 🥹😭🫶 finally the love she deserves but F-WHY-MAEVE-AGH-DAMMIT-WHY — the soldiers weren’t stupid enough and I actually think both Aedion and Rowan would back him up and say GO GET ELIDE NOW… wait… is that Maeve’s plan? WAS GAVRIEL TRICKING? AGHHHHHHHHH

Maeve is far from Lorcan… but not you… Elide darling please RUN or SEE or SOMETHING — I can’t have another Elain kidnapping style situation

Who are the eight guards?

Why would a goddess have to flee from a fae queen? SOMETHING IS UP WITH MAEVE

— WHAT THE —

CHAPTER 68:

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ELIDE I SWEAR — Calling this chapter before even starting: I feel more fear right now. — OH WAIT IT STARTED OW AGONY NEHEMIA OW — well… this is gonna be a mess!

Better yet it’s opening line: It was AGONY!

Final update on this chapter before the book ends I want to call this one: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME CAUSE REALLY LIKE ARE YOU

HERE COMES THE PAIN THERE GOES THE SUN DODODODO

“Elena had laid these plans a thousand years ago.”

“To break her, so she could walk away from the assassin and ascend her throne.”

Worse that she would go so far into the pit of rage and despair that she wouldn’t be able to get out. Not as Celaena. Nehemia had been right.

Okay so she does have a body… that’s answered😂 — “Aelin was shaking shaking in her half-invisible body, shaking so badly she thought her skin would ripple off her bones. Manon stepped closer, perhaps the only comfort the witch knew how to offer: solidarity.” — Even Manon comforting… she knows… OW!!! Trying to picture Gilmore girls haha solidarity sister for comfort but it’s not working cause — This chapter is everything not everything like EVERYTHING but everything like EVERY PIECE OF AGONY BEHIND THE SCENES. Every scene. All at once. — ONLY ONCE — I can’t even note just gotta read cause I can’t function

Well I guess I know what I’ll be talking about in therapy this week cause I am triggered and healed and crying and shocked all in one fucking hot mess of good writing and cruel plots

The only coherent note I made was Maeve you bitch😂 so there we are this is gonna take days to process onto chapter 69

Gonna go update one of my incorrect quote posts on getting stabbed cause honestly I think my reaction would be it hurts less than Empire of Storms SOOO

Yeah had to stop typing time #1 (finished the book) resuming note updates but this THIS is when I broke (the first time) 😅

“Aelin wasn't sure she could stomach another truth. Another revelation of just how thoroughly Elena had sold her and Dorian to the gods, for the fool's mistake she'd made, not understanding the Lock's true purpose, to seal Erawan in his tomb rather than let Brannon finally end it—and send the gods to wherever they called home, dragging Erawan with them.” — Yeah I don’t think I can handle another truth either … or forgive you Elena Galathynius

THIS ISNT THE FRIGGIN CAULDRON WHY MUST THEY DIE TO UNIFY — why can’t like Dorian & Aelin go halvesies??? — maybe she just has to be willing to die NOT actually — can we just resuscitate? COME ON GUYS WE HAVE IMMORTAL HEALING MAGIC

Why is the lock JUST ONCE?

NAMELESS IS MY PRICE

“The face ... it was the same. Manon's face, and Rhiannon Crochan's. The last Crochan Queens—of two separate eras.” — I think this means a lot more — maybe the gold eyes? Which btw still have the no Valg possession theory for that

“As he forged the Amulet of Orynth. As he placed a sliver of black stone within either side, then sealed it, defiance written in every line of his body.”

“For her. For his true heir, should Elena's punishment and promise to the gods hold true. The punishment and promise that had cleaved them. That Brannon could not and would not accept. Not while he had strength left. Nameless is my price. Written right there in Wyrdmarks. The one who bore Brannon's mark, the mark of the bastard-born nameless … She would be the cost to end this. The message on the back of the Amulet of Orynth was the only warning he could offer, the only apology for what his daughter had done, even as it contained a secret inside so deadly no one must know, no one could ever be told. But there would be clues. For her. To finish what they'd started. Brannon built Elena's tomb with his own hands. Carved the messages in there for Aelin, too. The riddles and the clues. The best he could offer to explain the truth while keeping those keys hidden from the world, from powers who would use them to rule, to destroy.”

I feel sorry for Brannon… he sacrificed everything, his wife, watched his daughter fade, knowing his descendants would face a horrible death for a price he cannot pay — DON’T GO SHOWING ME A MORTAL IMMORTAL COUPLE THAT ENDS LIKE THIS — Okay do we have each of these Wyrdkeys? — THE QUEEN WAS AN ALLY? Intrigue for this witch & queen combo! — She cried for him even knowing what she knew she cried too —we all feel sorry … why can’t these “gods” deal with their own problems? — “For the mortal king he hated and had barely tolerated, but he had leashed that loathing for his daughter's sake. Even if Gavin had taken his daughter, the daughter of his soul, away from him.” — he had loved his daughter & all of his children, ever “bastard” born heir was loved… but he couldn’t save them — You don’t understand Manon… but she does… She knew SHE HAD KNOWN and she couldn’t tell him😭— “It was where he had wanted to end this all along anyway.” — THIS BETTER NOT BE FORSHADOWING — Only his heir would be able to do that. Or whoever held another key. … and Maeve wants to be that…no.No.NO. — “And then he walked into that molten river, into the burning heart of his beloved. And Brannon, King of Terrasen, Lord of Fire, did not emerge again.”

Elena’s sorry & she meant it & I’m sorry too even for her

The sapphire eyes😭 … Dorian wasn’t ready …

thieving and cowardice

“I did not know darkness would fall. I did not know that your land would suffer. Suffer as I tried to keep mine from suffering. And there were so many voices ... so many voices even before Adarlan conquered. It was those voices that woke me. The voices of those wishing for an answer, for help." Elena's eyes slid to Manon, then back to hers. "They were from all kingdoms, all races. Human, witch-kind, Fae ... But they wove a tapestry of dreams, all begging for that one thing ... A better world.” — WAIT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE WITCH WAR TOO???

This is one of the most telling chapters of the series like HoF half truths chapter level… also one of the best written ones… like as much as it broke my heart this right here was writing at its best, emotions I haven’t felt since deathly hallows, things I haven’t seen done so well in a long long time.

The courts of dreamers…

“"Then you were born. And you were an answer to the gathering darkness, with that flame. My father's flame, my mother's might-reborn at last. — she had been watching her that long — And you were strong, Aelin. So strong, and so vulnerable. Not to outside threats, but the threat of your own heart, the isolation of your power. — and yet she knew love, she had the world fall in love over and over and it broke her heart over and over yet there she was resilient — But there were those who knew you for what you were, what you could offer. Your parents, — did they know? — their court, your great-uncle ... and Aedion. Aedion knew you were the Queen Who Was Promised without knowing what it meant, without knowing anything about you, or me, or what I did to spare my own people." — Aedion had loved her for her alone even then — The words hit her like stones. "The Queen Who Was Promised," Aelin said. "But not to the world. To the gods—to the keys." To pay the price. To be their sacrifice in order to seal the keys in the gate at last.” Deanna's appearance hadn't been only to tell her how to use the mirror, but to remind her that she belonged to them. Had a debt owed to them.” — … It is not fair that Aelin has never been free… always being reminded whether Arobynn or Maeve or the gods that she is not her own… it’s cruel to never allow such a wild soul to be truly free for even a moment. She almost has been so many times. But there’s always a catch. A clause. A horrid reminder.

Elena… what happened that night??? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED THAT NIGHT?!

“Aelin made herself stand still when that familiar, frozen wood appeared, exactly as she remembered it. — literally having to live it again what a nightmare — As she appeared, so small and young, — so young, so wild, so broken — white nightgown torn and muddy, hair wild, eyes bright with terror and grief so profound it had broken her entirely. — she’s breaking again & it’s breaking me — Frantic to reach the roaring river beyond, the bridge. There were the posts, and the forest on the other side.-Her sanctuary- EVEN MANON SWORE AT THE HORROR — She had forgotten how far that fall was. — There was so much death," Elena whispered — "So much death, and so many lights extinguished," Elena said, voice breaking. "You were so small. And you fought ... you fought so hard." "You clung to that log with all your strength. Everything had been taken from you—everything—and yet you still fought. You did not yield. And they told me to hurry, because even then their power to hold me in that solid body was fading. They said to just take you and go, but ... I hesitated. I waited until you got to that riverbank." — WHAT — WHAT —

"You died," Elena whispered. "Right there, you died. You had fought so hard, and I failed you. And in that moment, I didn't care that I'd again failed the gods, or my promise to make it right, or any of it. "All I could think was how unfair it was. You had not even lived, you had not even been given a chance ... And all those people, who had wished and waited for a better world ... You would not be there to give it to them." Oh gods. "Elena," — ELENA! — SARAH — WHAT — SOBBING

"I could not allow it. I could not endure it. Not for the gods' sake, but —but for your own." — "And then I defied them."

SHE GAVE HER TO AROBYNN — her parents had known? — he lived in Terrasen??? — but who killed them — WHAT?! — “Only a few years older than she was now.”

"I knew what he was, what he'd likely do with you. What training you would receive. But 1t was better than dead. And if you could survive, if you could grow up strong, if you had the chance to reach adulthood, I thought perhaps you could give those people who had wished and dreamed of a better world ... at least give them a chance. Help them—before the debt was called in again." — WHAT. The.

"You were so young," Elena said again. "And more than the dreamers, more than the debt ... I wanted to give you time. To at least know what it was to live.

"What was the price, Elena? What did they do to you for this?" Elena wrapped her arms around herself as the image faded, Arobynn mounting his horse, Aelin in his arms. Mist swirled again. "When it is done," Elena managed to say, "I go, too. For the time I bought you, when this game is finished, my soul will be melted back into the darkness. I will not see Gavin, or my children, or my friends ... I will be gone. Forever." "Did you know that before you—" "Yes. They told me, over and over. But ... couldn't. I couldn't do it." Aelin slid to her knees before the queen. Took Elena's tearstained face between her hands. "Nameless is my price," Aelin said, her voice breaking. Elena nodded. — OH MY GODS

A mark glowed on Aelin's brow, heating her skin. The bastard mark of Brannon. The mark of the nameless. "Mala's blood must be spent-your power must be spent. Every drop, of magic, of blood. You are the cost—to make a new Lock, and seal the keys into the gate. To make the Wyrdgate whole. — NO — Aelin said softly, "I know." She had known for some time now. Had been preparing for it as best she could. Preparing things for the others. — NO —

“Will you come with me? Help me end it once and for all?" Will you come with me, so I will not be alone? Elena nodded, but whispered, "I'm sorry." — to whatever end.

"You were barely climbing out of slavery," Elena said. "Hardly holding yourself together, trying so hard to pretend that you were still strong and whole. — OW!!!

Glacier-blue eyes met hers at last. "I know. Maeve has long wished to regain possession of the keys. My father believed it was for something other than conquest. Something darker, worse. I don't know why she only began hunting for them once you arrived. — WHAT — But I sent you to Wendlyn for the healing. — WHAT — And so you — OH MY WYRD — would ... find him. — SHE SENT HER TO HEAL; with him

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“The one who had been waiting so long for you."

“Aelin's heart cracked. "Rowan." — mine too😭

"He was a voice in the void, a secret, silent dreamer. And so were his companions. But the Fae Prince, he was .. Aelin reined in her sob. "I know. I've known for a long time." "I wanted you to know that joy, too," Elena whispered. "However briefly." "I did," Aelin managed to say. "Thank you." … the dreamers😭😭😭 — STAB ME WHY DON’T YOU

“I will be with you. Until the very end, every step of the way, I will be with you.” — BUT WILL YOU PAY FOR THE THERAPY I NOW NEED???

And now… now I truly do feel sorry for Elena… I can forgive her for what she did… it really wasn’t, I mean it isn’t her fault? — She was young. She was trying to end a war. She didn’t know. And I think Aelin and many of them may have made the same mistakes had they not known. … And she had to live losing everything, knowing everything she loves will lose, a child would have to die for her mistake, I think she got the worst punishment one that doesn’t fit the crime. I think she almost got the truest tragedy of anyone… next to Aelin of course; the lamb to the slaughter, beautiful Aelin; honestly this chapter broke my heart the most because it is the heart of why you love Aelin. She is the beautiful bright force of light and life and you love her for it in all her fiery brutal hilarious lovely strong brave ways.

“But Aelin did not fight it as Elena leaned in to kiss her brow, where that damning mark had been her whole life. A bit of chattel, branded for the slaughterhouse. Brannon's mark. The mark of the bastard-born ... the Nameless. Nameless is my price. To buy them a future, she'd pay it.” — oh hell no to the last part

“It was the only thing she could give them, her last gift to Terrasen.” — WHAT KINDA ROWAN WHITETHORN BS IS THAT — YOU WAIT TILL HE GETS WORD OF THAT — NO WE GONNA SHUT THAT ISH DOWN

“To those she loved with her heart of wildfire.” — tattooing this on my soul

Aelin knew that laugh. And knew that somehow, perhaps they had not traveled through the mists ... But they had been placed here. By whatever forces were at work, whatever gods watching. To stand in the sandy field before the turquoise sea, dead guards in Briarcliff armor slaughtered upon the nearby dunes, still bleeding out. To stand before Queen Maeve of the Fae. Elide Lochan on her knees before her-with a Fae warrior's blade at her throat. — OH MY FUCKING GODS YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME — IF ITS LORCAN BEING CONTROLLED IM GONNA BECOME A FERAL WRAITH

CHAPTER 69:

HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO ENDURE SIX MORE CHAPTERS AND A WORSE CLIFFHANGER *apologies in advance people the language is about to get rough😂 because legit WHAT THE FUCK* … is there a word for both triggered, healed, confused, personally offended, and impressed all by one passage of writing?

Me curled up in a corner rocking back and fourth and laughing about “how sad” I thought the first ACOTAR UTM passages were THEY FEEL LIKE A SITCOM NOW and I haven’t even read the final book of TOG/KoA! But I’m scared to cause I don’t think I’m gonna get so lucky that all the (🚨 SPOILER for WINGS AND RUIN🚨 Rhys & Amrens of the world get resurrected… no this series is gonna break me isn’t it HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH) *hysterics*

HERE WE GO AGAIN *sobbing to Mamma Mia!* Alternative titles currently ranked at: AND THE PAIN CONTINUES, SURE LETS SEE HOW MUCH WORSE IT CAN GET, EVEN MY DOG IS CONCERNED NOW, HOW ARE THERE FIVE MORE CHAPTERS OF THIS AND HOW WILL ANYTHING BE OKAY, I CANT DO MATH ANYMORE HOW MANY PAGES UNTIL EVERYTHINGS OKAY, I AM DEAD INSIDE

MAASVERSE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE AN ENTERANCE

My THIRTEEN THE WITCHY ANGELS YES

Okay legit stopped typing notes because 68 broke me and they were my only solace so I just just read, have finished and now am adding notes while in shock… so… HERE WE GO AGAIN… AGAIN…

Gavriel protecting his son😭 with Golden magic again Aelin?? AND PROTECTING LYSANDRA BECAUSE THAT IS PROTECTING HIS SON

Outgunned WHAT outmanned WHAT outnumbered WHAT… come on Aelin Mastermind & Rowan!!! Don’t let us be outplanned😅😅😬🫥🫡

I wish that bitch wasn’t about to be all y’all’s problem

Why does his sword arm hurt sound so funny in the midst of chaos or am I just in hysterics

Aedion used the reprieve to whirl to Lysandra. Blood from his own wounds and ones he'd inflicted covered him, mixing with the sweat running down his skin. He said to the shifter, "I want you to run." Lysandra turned a fuzzy head toward him, pale green eyes narrowing slightly. — everytime they describe her in a different form I can’t help but giggle and feel happy, also I love her mannerisms — Aedion held that gaze. "You turn into a bird or a moth or a fish-I don't rutting care-and you go. If we're about to fall, you run. That's an order." She hissed, as if to say, You don't give me orders. "I technically outrank you," he said, slashing his sword down his shield to clear it of two protruding arrows as they again swung in toward another ship crammed full of well-rested Fae warriors. "So you'll run. Or I'll kick your ass in the Afterworld." — it’s giving my ghost won’t associate with your ghost/I’ll kill you if you die vibes 😂 — Lysandra stalked up to him. A lesser man — so a greater woman wouldn’t beg but a lesser man would’ve backed awary cool thanks Taylor & Sarah I made a note😂 — might have backed away from a predator that big prowling close. Some of his own soldiers did. But Aedion held his ground as she rose on her back legs, those huge paws settling on his shoulders, and brought her bloodied feline face up to his. Her wet whiskers twitched. Lysandra leaned in and nuzzled his cheek, his neck. Then she trotted back to her place, blood splashing beneath her silent paws. When she deigned to glance his way, spitting blood onto the deck, Aedion said softly, "The next time, do that in your human form." — HE USED THE REPRIEVE TO ASK HER TO RUN (Aedion you always make any small temporary idiocy up) also cackling that last line GLORIOUS😂

“It was the last mistake the male made.” — yeah girl (she put the grrr in girl?😂 I LOST IT OKAY)

Okay well that’s a description when you say killing THREE TIMES

The fact Dorian thinks Aedion is hurt (which btw bro why did you give me a heart attack) but because he hears Lysandra roar for him

WHEN I TELL YOU I STARTED CACKLING KICKING SCREAMING AND CRYING I AM NOT KIDDING — A wivern with shimmering wings — MY BABY — MAASVERSE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE A ENTRANCE AND I JUST KNEW IT — wicked delight — !!!

CHAPTER 70:

“I think I can finally breathe” — BECAUSE THANK GODS THE THIRTEEN AND ABRAXOS AND ASTERIN ARE OKAY

The last time I said that while reading probably😂

I CAN FINALLY BREATHE ITS ASTERIN OH THANK GODS ITS ASTERIN AND ABRAXOS AND THE TWELEVE FOR MY THRITEEN I CANT SPELL OR TYPE OR MATH JUST AGHHHH

Lysandra knowing Abraxos roar… I love her animal buddies

TWELVE RIDERS AND THE WIVERNS AND A PALE BLUE ONE AND GOLDEN HAIRED WITCH

I KNEW ABRAXOS WOULD GO GET HELP

“Then we shall clear the field for you.” — OH HELL YES

I wish I could fly with them into glorious chaos too Lysandra

HELLO LYSAEDION ;-)

Let’s just be glad the coven is on our side and not think about it😅😅

REALLY ITS NAME IS THE NIGHTINGALE REALLY

Thanks the gods Rowan knows Maeve’s style cause umm YEAH GO NOW

FIND HER

“Flame and shadow and death” FUCK NO

Rowan choosing her best chance at survival even as it’s the most triggering thing for him and going with the team but oh gods hindsight and ugh whyyyyyy

LETS GO WIVERNS! COME ON ABRAXOS!!

Hehe yeah now the rain is pouring down… did not age well!

CHAPTER 71:

“Dreams and nightmares given form.”

Yep… opening quotes said it all…

“No crown adorned her head, for all who breathed, even the dead who slumbered, would know her for what she was. Dreams and nightmares given form; the dark face of the moon.”

Ugh she reminds me of Amarantha & it’s nauseating

What does Maeve even want/need to conquer for — WHATS THE DARKER UNDERCURRENT PLOT???

Okay so it’s just some random sentry???

Manon had gone still as death at the sight of Elide, her iron nails sliding free. — thank you, they’ve got her,

“Aelin forced a half smile to her mouth, shoved her raw, bleeding heart into a box deep inside her chest.” — & somehow that line ripped mine out

And the snark shall buy time & save the day! Hooray!

"What a joy, to learn that your usual good spirits remain undimmed in such dark days." "How could they not, when so many of your pretty males are in my company?" — nice one, point Aelin for the burn (she is the heir/queen of fire after all)

How does Maeve know her face? She was there then?? What is going on with her??? THERE IS MORE THERE!!!

"Claimed by queen, and witch, and … my Second, it seems." — for once Elide is not Malone, she has people that will look out for her, she deserves to be loved so well with protective sisters (minus the horror of the situation) I just appreciate that everyone can agree to protect the precious cinnamon roll

AELIN KNEW

Does Elide know it’s beyond Lorcan’s control? Oh OW!

Graceful as a moonbeam… do you mean Fenrys because I need some comedic relief and I’m gonna believe that

OKAY BUT LORCAN ANSWERED THAT VERY SMART he says “she has them” not Elide, not Aelin, “she” because then he doesn’t have to specify which has which while still telling the truth and not clearly masking it, and yes he does give Aelin up BUT Maeve already knew it bought some trust and time and I give him points for that smart quick response/work-around

Elide does the mind reading notes of reading people so well (autocorrect her name is not Elise!)

She had been draining her for weeks… oh gods…

Hope soared in Elide's chest. — mine too

“To sacrifice her own fleet—or part of it—to gain one prize ... This was madness. The queen was utterly insane.”

DO SOMETHING — AGREED

You can tell that Elide is an innocent among madness, she doesn’t understand, she can’t, she’s not a monster, she’s in a long-game of good players, and right here it’s heartbreaking

The fact Maeve didn’t want to kill Aelin is even more terrifying

The impact shook the world — not just like Lorcan & Rowan fighting… no this is bigger

But that means Maeve knows Aelin could beat her

“fire flickering like dying embers around her” — NONONONONONONO okay but like really gods anyone do something you want the one to wield the lock STOP IT — DO SOMETHING — NOW!

Fenrys defending her🥹😭

the young QUEEN OF FIRE (the new title)

DAMN SHE KNOWS ABOUT AEDION

Can Fenrys please get to destroy Maeve like Leah with Jane in Twilight?

“No fire left in the queen. Not one ember. And the only way Aelin could face this, accept this, was to go down swinging. Like Marion had.” — OW… ya know that part of HoF when Aelin says hitting her would hurt less… YEAH that line I feel like that

Why does Maeve not want to quarrel with witches? Perhaps the gold eyes? Perhaps the fact she could beat her?? Hmm???

Please tell me Rowan can’t feel all of this

No

NO

NOOOOO

“Get up”😭😭😭 nonononononono … she’s trying and she can’t & I’m sobbing … I DID NOT NEED THIS FULL CIRCLE

An assassin, Elide reminded herself. Aelin was an assassin, and if Maeve got close enough But Maeve didn't. — DAMMIT — And those invisible hands cut the tethers on Aelin's sword belts. Goldryn thunked to the ground. — Okay so the invisible hands trick is a raw magic thing?

Gathering her strength. For one last strike. One last stand. Let the queen believe her broken. "Why?" Aelin rasped. Buying herself time… — hope, no. She’s out. No. Rowan’s coming. What will Maeve do? Be fast enough! AGH! Something is wrong & unplanned something very bad.

“Because I can't very well let you sacrifice yourself to forge a new Lock, can I? Not when you already have what I want. And I have known for a very, very long time that you would give me what I seek, Aelin Galathynius, and have taken the steps toward ensuring that.” — WHAT?! She knows??? CAN WE GET ONE BREAK?!

“But all bloodlines fade. And I knew a time would come when Brannon's flames would dim to a flicker, and I'd be poised to strike.” — what *said in lethal calm voice.

No.

ONLY YOU

WHAT

NO!

“And I saw who you were, what you were. I saw who you loved I saw your mate.”

What did she do?

WHAT DID SHE DO?

"What a powerhouse you two would be you and Prince Rowan. And any offspring of that union ..." A vicious smirk. "You and Rowan could rule this continent if you wished. But your children ... your children would be powerful enough to rule an empire that could sweep the world." Aelin closed her eyes. The Fae males were shaking their heads slowly—not believing it. "I didn't know when you would be born, but when Prince Rowan Whitethorn came into this world, when he came of age and was the strongest purebred Fae male in my realm ... you were still not there. And I knew what I would have to do. To leash you. To break you to my will, to hand over those keys without thought once you were strong and trained enough to acquire them." Aelin's shoulders shook. Tears slid out past her closed eyes. "It was so easy to tug on the right psychic thread that day Rowan saw Lyria at the market. To shove him down that other path, to trick those instincts. A slight altering of fate." "Oh, gods," Fenrys breathed.” — unpopular opinion I wish they had just allowed him to have had two mates, instead of making it so singular, allowing there to be love after death, more than one love of one’s life (she still could’ve been the cause) I just personally would’ve liked it more but why it does make Maeve really crazy SO SHIT that’s REALLL BAD and I didn’t know anyone could do that so now we’ve got some new concerns also the fact Aelin’s heart broke FOR Rowan right then

“So your mate was given to another. And I let him fall in love, let him get her with child. And then I broke him. No one ever asked how those enemy forces came to pass by his mountain home." Aelin's knees gave out completely. Only the invisible hands kept her upright as she wept. "He took the blood oath without question. And I knew that whenever you were born, whenever you'd come of age ... I'd ensure that your paths crossed, and you'd take one look at each other and I'd have you by the throat. Anything I asked for, you'd give to me. Even the keys. For your mate, you could do no less. You almost did that day in Doranelle." Slowly, Aelin slid her feet under herself again, the movement so pained that Elide cringed. But Aelin lifted her head,” — this may be the worst villain confession I’ve read… this is next level evil… there are no words.

"I will kill you," Aelin snarled at the Fae Queen. — get in line sister

"That's what you said to Rowan after you met him, wasn't it?" Maeve's faint smile lingered. — UM—OW—F-YOU-MAEVE!

"I'd pushed and pushed your mother to bring you to me, so you could meet him, so I could have you at last when Rowan felt the bond, but she refused. And we know how well that turned out for her. And during those ten years afterward, I knew you were alive. Somewhere. But when you came to me ... when you and your mate looked at each other with only hate in your eyes ... I'll admit I did not anticipate it. That I had broken Rowan Whitethorn so thoroughly that he did not recognize his own mate that you were so broken by your own pain you didn't notice, either. And when the signs appeared, the carranam bond washed away any suspicion on his part that you might be his. But not you. How long has it been, Aelin, since you realized he was your mate?" — MY FUCKING SOUL — THE ROMAN EMPIRE IS FALLING — OWOWOW — I mean I knew Aelin knew, I knew why Rowan kinda-didn’t, but Maeve… she’s a monster. Also dude what was the plan? Get Evelin to bring an 8 year old for some 200 year old guy? CREEPY!!!

Aelin said nothing, her eyes churning with rage and grief and despair. Elide whispered, "Leave her alone." — THANK YOU ELIDE FOR REPRESENTING US ALL IN REACTION AND REASON —Maeve ignored her.— RUDE! And dumb… Elide is very wise, you would do well to LISTEN!

Also having Elide’s perspective is super interesting because to her Aelin’s fight was brutal where Aelin might have thought of it as minor or Manon like a warrior it’s more of a fan perspective and you feel it all in shock even more while also thankfully not having to hear what poor Fenrys is thinking etc.

“When did you know?" — THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED THIS TALK TO GO OR WHO I WANTED IT WITH — "At Temis's temple," Aelin admitted glancing to Manon. "The moment the arrow went through his shoulder. Months ago. — NO THAT LINE, Asterin, OW — "And you've hidden it from him, no doubt to save him from any guilt regarding Lyria, any sort of emotional distress ..." Maeve clicked her tongue. "What a noble little liar you are." — she loves him so much😭 — Aelin stared at nothing, her eyes going blank. — me too — "I had planned for him to be here," Maeve said, frowning at the horizon. — I wish he was here to help or protect or fight… but I’m kinda glad he isn’t… I don’t want to see him see this… also glad this is Elide’s perspective, Aelin’s would hurt too much (though Manon WHATS THE PLAN? Come on man-on with the plan-on?) — "Since letting you two go that day in Doranelle was so that you could lead me to the keys again. I even let you think you'd gotten away with it, by freeing him. — hey, we know, but hey! Let us have hope for one ding dang second! — Maeve shrugged. "If it's any consolation, Aelin, you would have had a thousand years with Prince Rowan. Longer." — OWWWWWWWW, okay it’s fine it just means when she gets out they’re both immortal, it’s fine IT WILL ALL BE JUST FINE! — "My sister Mab's line ran true. The full powers, shifting abilities, and the immortality of the Fae. You're likely about five years away from Settling." Aelin's face crumpled. This was not a draining of magic and physical strength, but of spirit. — NOPE NOT FINE NOT FINE NOT FINE

NO. Not Cairn. Not a whip. Not Elide. No.

MAEVE I BEG YOU TOO — AND HOW DARE YOU SILENCE FENRYS

CHAPTER 72:

I can’t keep calm if Aelin doesn’t have a plan

SARAH WHAT ARE YOU DOING AGAIN

Lorcan speaking softly is even more terrifying than I thought because it isn’t the lethal calm it’s a true beg and plead

“Good—Manon would get Elide out. The witch had been waiting for Aelin to make a move, not realizing that ... she had nothing left. There was no power left for a final strike.” — even Manon is worried — Aelin has no plan, so what do I keep calm in??? MANON GET THE GIRL AND RUN RIGHT NOW

They just compared him to Rourke Farran and I want to throw up because Aelin made the connection and that hurts even more

Okay yes I’m mad at Lorcan but also I really think he’s playing the long-game and trying to save Elide who he loves… I guess I’m not surprise he’d betray Aelin & I’m glad he isn’t betraying Elide (even though betraying Aelin betrayed Elide) I just am not surprised? Frustrated? But not quite furious I guess?

"She belongs to the Ironteeth. If you have no quarrel with me, then you have no quarrel with her. Leave Elide Lochan out of it." — THANK YOU MANON

FIGHT IT!

Aelin knew Elide would fight. Would not understand that Maeve had been playing this game for centuries, and had waited until this moment, until the trap was perfect, to seize her. Aelin found Maeve smiling at her. She had played, and gambled, and lost. Maeve nodded as if to say yes. — That doesn’t mean Aelin deserves this either, it’s almost worse because she knows, she knows.

The witch knew her orders. Her task. — she’d get Elide out… but the fact that’s all Aelin is thinking about NO😭

"I will bear the keys in one hand, and Aelin Fire-Bringer in the other." — No you will not — She'd have to break her first. Kill her or break…” — this is sick, legit nauseous

Why does Cairn have to sound like Cain

"I'll go with you, I'll come with you-The girl would. The girl would face Cairn, and Maeve ... But Terrasen would need that sort of courage. If it was to survive, if it was to heal, Terrasen would need Elide Lochan. — and once again this is where I began weeping and also heard Gwyn in ACOSF all over again… and Elide had feared not being needed or wanted… their sisterhood 😭 Oh sweet Elide & Aelin WHY MAEVE WHY SARAH WHY — and I would scold Manon but she’s got a hand she’s not playing I just know it she is too uncomfortable too aware not to want to help Aelin

"Tell the others," Aelin breathed, trying to find the right words. — NO. I will not listen. Don’t you dare give a final speech Aelin Galathynius. DONT YOU DO IT! ELIDE DOES NOT NEED TO CARRY LAST WORDS FOR TEN YEARS! NOPE. NOT HAPPENINGx NOT AGAIN. NOT A CHANCE! COME ON — SOMEONE — THIS CANNOT BE THE WARNINGS I WAS GIVEN! No!

“Tell the others that I am sorry. Tell Lysandra to remember her promise, and that I will never stop being grateful.” — WHAT PROMISE?! WHAT TALK DID THEY HAVE AFTER NAMELESS

Tell Aedion ... Tell him it is not his fault, — NO TOO SOON TOO CLOSE TO HOME — and that " Her voice cracked. "I wish he'd been able to take the oath, but Terrasen will look to him now, and the lines must not break." — No! She . Did. Not. — WHATS WITH THE “LINES MUST NOT BREAK & HOLD THE LINE” LINES?

And tell Rowan… — I’m gonna need 30 minutes before I finish this sentence —

"And tell Rowan," Aelin said, fighting her own sob, "that I'm sorry I lied. But tell him it was all borrowed time anyway. Even before today, I knew it was all just borrowed time, but I still wish we'd had more of it." She fought past her trembling mouth. "Tell him he has to fight. He must save Terrasen, and remember the vows he made to me. And tell him ... tell him thank you-for walking that dark path with me back to the light."

“Aelin glanced at Lorcan, whose dark eyes were fixed on her own. And gratitude shone there. For sparing the young woman he'd given his heart to, whether he knew it or not.”

"I'm glad we met. I'm proud to know you. And I think your mother would have been proud of you, too, Elide." — somebody come zap my memory

AELIN YOUR IN THE NEVER LIST TOO

No… not the tattoo… wait is there a new add on? “Rowan’s loving words, written in the Old Language.” (Hindsight: Did they get wedding tattoos? The 15 minutes😅😂😭😂)

My god it’s more than Endovier… I don’t think books have legitimately made me cry this much in a long time

TIME COME ON BE ONE HER SIDE MOVE FASTER COME ON

Manon is telling Aelin “good luck” not Maeve isn’t she?

“Time she was grateful Elena had given her that stolen time. Grateful she had met them all, that she had seen some small part of the world, had heard such lovely music, had danced and laughed and known true friendship. Grateful that she had found Rowan. She was grateful. So Aelin Galathynius dried her tears And did not fight when Maeve strapped that beautiful iron mask over her face.” — worst Aelin Galathynius ending line yet… I’m out of words… just the quote… the quote that ruined everything 10 times over again SORRY IF YOUR READING THESE CHAPTER REVIEWS TOO OR THIS BOOK CAUSE OW THE FEELS HIT DIFFERENT

CHAPTER 73:

I don’t even know what I want from the book ending… I don’t want more Aelin… I don’t want to see Rowan find out… just show me Asterin and Abraxos with Manon & then sedate me?

SHE HAS THE KEYS — I KNEW IT! YES MANON PLAN

Let that be the cost — Oh, sweet Manon😭🖤

Come on… let that be hope; they had to forge a box to contain her that’s her power level, she’ll find a way out (so many were coming for her even in Endovier) there’s no way, now. not with Rowan. not with Manon. and Elide. and Lorcan. they’ll get to her… just go fast please

Okay good Manon’s on the lookout

Same Elide Same

Pretty sure Lorcan is lying and yeah he did this for you TO DESTROY YOU

What. A. Bitch.

ABRAXOS!!! — I needed that thank you wivern bb🥹😭 — Her heart thundered in her chest, joy sparking, but—

“For her sanity, Manon prayed that Aelin wouldn't be awake the entire time she was inside. And for the sake of their world, Manon prayed the Queen of Terrasen could survive it. If only so Aelin could then die for them all.” — WHAT KIND OF LINE IS THAT

AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO READ TWO MORE CHAPTERS WITHOUT ANSWERS HOPE AND IDK IT WAS ALL A DREAM

CHAPTER 74:

THERES A HOLE IN ALL OF OUR SOULS NOW

Time loop? We’re repeating phrases? None of it’s real! Let’s go with that!!

Wait THE THIRTEEN ARE TOGETHER SAFE AND SOUND WITH ELIDE AND ABRAXOS AND MANON OH THANK THE WYRD MY GIRLS I NEEDED THAT OKAY THERE OKAY THEY CAN GO GET HER ITLL ALL BE FINE

“Where is Aelin.” — no. DONT MAKE ME READ THAT SARAH — NO! Why is it not even a question😭

That better not be one of Rowan’s shirts that she stole cause again OW

What. the. FUCK?! YOU. DID. NOT. JUST. SAY. WIFE. YOU ARE NOT DOING THAT TO ME?! WHAT?! THE ACTUAL?! WHAT!

“Where is Aelin. What had he done, what had he done. Rowan hissed, "Where is my wife?" Lorcan swayed where he knelt. Wife. Wife. "Oh, gods," Elide sobbed as she overheard, the words carrying the sound of Lorcan's own fractured heart. "Oh, gods..." And for the first time in centuries, Lorcan wept. Rowan dug the dagger deeper into Lorcan's neck, even as tears slid down Lorcan's face. What that woman had done ... Aelin had known. That Lorcan had betrayed her and summoned Maeve here. That she had been living on borrowed time. And she had married Whitethorn... so Terrasen could have a king. Perhaps had been spurred into action because she knew Lorcan had already betrayed her, that Maeve was coming ... And Lorcan had not helped her. Whitethorn's wife. His mate. Aelin had let them whip and chain her, had gone willingly with Maeve, so Elide didn't enter Cairn's clutches. And it had been just as much a sacrifice for Elide as it had been a gift to him. She had bowed to Maeve. For Elide. "Please," Rowan begged, his voice breaking as that calm fury fractured.” — the fact that Rowan probably knows and can smell the blood and still begs to know because he didn’t want to believe it the fact he says please — and there is no way that that is the only reason she married him — it wasn’t the lack of time it was the level of love

“Lorcan had been wrong. He had been so wrong. And he could not entirely regret it, not if Elide was safe, but ... Aelin had refused to count. Cairn had unleashed his full strength on her with that whip, and she had refused to give them the satisfaction of counting.” — I can’t tell if Lorcan admires her strength or fears it fears how far Maeve will go

Aedion trying to clean her sword 😭

When did Dorian learn to heal?

Manon told them everything (as she should) but I didn’t think she would… and now they had to hear it… from her

“But it was Elide who then took up the thread, leaning against Lysandra, who was staring at that blood and that shirt as if it were a corpse, telling them what had happened on these dunes. What Aelin had sacrificed She told Rowan that he was Aelin's mate. Told him about Lyria. She told them about the whipping, and the mask, and the box. When Elide finished, they were silent.” — I MEAN WHAT IS THERE TO SAY — something about Elide taking up the thread — and no Aedion not what you said… man Ashryvers have TEMPERS (but fair😅)

Lysandra was going to play as Aelin… that’s what the vision told her… did she think she could trick Rowan into believing she never died? — Aedion she obviously loves you that’s not the reason why — Okay fair point bro — Even fairer point girlie — "I will not apologize to you. I serve her. And I am willing to spend the rest of my life pretending to be her so that her sacrifice isn't in vain- — WOAH REACTION UNCALLED FOR but except under the circumstances (child’s play back in school is forgiven under my rule cause ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE)

It’s hurting her changing her it’s uncaged — Endure — like lines like that that I must … how did so much change in one book… that’s part of the sad part I know they’ll get Aelin back but things won’t ever be the same

“entering a sanctuary of wings and claws and teeth.” — oh how I missed and needed them back

“I will never forget that” — no one will unfortunately, not even Lorcan… yet once again if Aelin can forgive why can’t we? It’s like Feyre with fam stuff…

Umm can someone go check on Rowan please

Asterin was alive. The Thirteen were alive. And it was joy in Manon's heart—joy, she realized, as she beheld those smiling faces and smiled back. — so happy like this is the last shred of sanity

But Abraxos found us and seemed to know where you were, so we followed him." She scratched at some dried blood on her cheek. "And saved your ass, apparently." I KNEW HE WOULD — he’s the bestest boy (is what I would say, but he feels smarter than your average pet sidekick and would probably hate that, so let’s just wish him a vacation in flower fields while manon tans and everyone’s happy for once and Aelin is not in a coffin cool? Cool. Ps oh Asterin how I missed you, man if only Fenrys and the 13 could hang out more

Not soon enough to stop this. To save Aelin Galathynius. — BUT YOU WILL

They all looked to Manon … still …

A child not of war ... but of peace.

"And will you follow me?" Manon asked them quietly. "To do what needs to be done before we can return to the Wastes?" Aelin Galathynius had not beseeched Elena for another fate. She had only asked for one thing, one request of the ancient queen: Will you come with me? For the same reason Manon had now asked them. As one, the Thirteen lifted their fingers to their brows. As one, they lowered them. Manon looked toward the sea, her throat tight. — YEAH IM NOT CRYING EITHER TOTALLY JUST THE SALT WATER (legit I don’t know at this point what’s joy sadness fear anger sleep deprivation etc. lol)

GO SAVE THE QUEEN YALL

"Aelin Galathynius willingly handed over her freedom (she did give up her freedom😭) so an Ironteeth witch could walk free," Manon said. Elide straightened, pulling from Asterin's arms. — she’s one of them🥹 — But Manon continued, "We owe her a life debt. And more than that ... It is time that we became better than our foremothers. — YAS QUEEN — We are all children of this land." — why can’t more people be like Manon — no longer just dealing in life debts but honor — "What are you going to do?" Asterin breathed, her eyes so bright. Manon looked behind them. To the north. "I am going to find the Crochans. — like the opposite same of past centuries so she’s good at it I guess — And I am going to raise an army with them. For Aelin Galathynius. And her people. And for ours." "They'll never trust us," Sorrel said. Asterin drawled, "Then we'll have to just be our charming selves." Some of them smirked; some of them shifted on their feet. Manon said again to her Thirteen, "Will you follow me?" And when they all touched their fingers to their brows again, Manon returned the gesture.”

“What Aelin had done ... what she'd lied about … Some of the blood on the ground had dried. If Aelin was gone, if her life would indeed be the cost if she ever got free …Oh, Aelin. Aelin. She'd worked Maeve into such a frenzy, made the queen so focused on capturing her that she hadn't thought to confirm if Aelin held the keys before she vanished. She'd been dealt such a wicked, impossible hand-and yet Aelin had made it count. One last time, she'd made it count.” “I am sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't help.”— the way Aedion is speaking oh beautiful buddies and Aelin oh and ugh it just feels so trapping with fate but at least we know Manon has wanted to help (as I knew she would have) but also this won’t be the last — now Dorian trust yourself as she trusts you (but ugh both houses NEITHER OF YOU DIE) but she knew but aww he would for her but good he’s got Manon protection — "Elena said Mala's bloodline can stop this. It runs in both your houses." — I like that Manon gives options not just her wishes but the full truth to decide — The golden eyes were weary-heavy. He realized what Manon was asking.

Aelin had never planned to see Terrasen again. She had married Rowan knowing she would have months at best, days at the worst, with him. But she would give Terrasen a legal king. To hold her territory together. She had made plans for all of them—and none for herself. "The quest does not end here," Dorian said softly. Manon shook her head. And he knew she meant more than the keys, than the war, as she said, "No, it does not." He took the keys from her. They throbbed and flickered, warming his palm. A foreign, horrible presence, and yet ... all that stood between them and destruction. No, the quest did not end here. Not even close. Dorian slid the keys into his pocket. And the road that now sprawled away before him, curving into unknown, awaiting shadow ... it did not frighten him. — here we go then … I mean she had to know they wouldn’t be that smart lol

I can’t even edit this post or work on autocorrects. How does this always happen? How? BREAK PART I LOST COUNT NO MORE MATH OR BRAIN CELLS TO GIVE

… *2 hours later voice* I feel like a mother-in-law learning her child eloped in Vegas and didn’t invite her for the second time

CHAPTER 75:

“Rowan had married Aelin before dawn barely two days ago.” — The first time we hear Rowan and it absolutely gutted me the hardest it could

“Rowan had known. Part of him had known that Aelin was his mate. And had turned away from that knowledge, again and again, out of respect for Lyria, out of terror for what it'd mean. He'd leapt in front of her at Skull's Bay knowing it, deep down. Knowing mates aware of the bond could not bear to harm each other, and that it might be the only force to compel her to regain control from Deanna. And even when she had proved him right ... He had turned from that”— my heart — she’d proved him right — he know AHHHH — it just hurts more — she’d known too though Ro — “Proof, still unready, pushing it from his mind even as he claimed her in every other way. Aelin had known, though. That he was her mate. And she had not pushed it, or demanded he face it, because she loved him, and he knew she'd rather carve out her own heart than cause him pain or distress.”

His Fireheart.

His equal, his friend, his lover. His wife.

His mate.

That gods-damned bitch had put her in an iron box. — yep that’s how I feel too

“His Fireheart, locked in the dark.” — NO NOT THAT LINE LIKE THIS OH OH NO😭

He’d known she was trying to tell him💔

Her IMMORTAL life (what about the mortal one?)

“It was all borrowed time anyway. Aelin did not expect them to come for her. She, who had come for them, who had found them all. She had arranged for everything to fall into place when she yielded her life. When she gave up a thousand years to save them. And Rowan knew she believed they'd make the right choice, the wise choice, and remain here. Lead their armies to victory-the armies she'd secured for them, guessing that she wouldn't be there to see it through. She did not think she'd ever see him again.” — the fact she doesn’t, she doesn’t want them to, even now she’s surprised to learn people tried on Endovier but hon they are coming just hold on and what was that final parting and the next line same dude same UTTERLY UNNACEPTABLE

“He did not accept that. He would not accept that. And he would not accept that he had found her, and she had found him, and they had survived such sorrow and pain and despair together, only to be cleaved apart. He would not accept the fate that had been dealt to her, would not accept that her life was the asking price for saving this world. Her life, or Dorian's. He would not accept it for one heartbeat.” — then don’t. Go get her. ALSO props for having Dorian on there this isn’t a kill one for the other no it’s a save both THANK YOU

Him and his cadre now… and hers…

“The sea rolled away, undulating under the clearing blue sky. He speared that bond into the world, casting it wide as a net. Flinging it out with his magic, his soul, his cracked heart. Searching for her. Fight it, he willed her, sending the words down the bond—the mating bond, which perhaps had settled into place that first moment they'd become carranam, hidden beneath flame and ice and hope for a better future. Fight her. I am coming for you. Even if it takes me thousand years. I will find you, I will find you, will find you. Only salt and wind and water answered him.” — A THOUSAND YEARS, their heart I WILL RESCUE YOU till the stars are dust

Memory? HE KNOWS EVERY STORY

Their all so numb😭

Where is she? THEY HAD COME (they didn’t abandon Terrasen) all her plans — But the young man was now close enough that Rowan could see the color of his eyes. Turquoise with a core of gold. Aedion breathed as if in a trance, "Galan." Galan Ashryver, Crown Prince of Wendlyn. The young man's eyes widened as he took in the warrior-prince. "Aedion," he said hoarsely, something like awe and grief in his face. But he blinked it away, self-assured and steady, and again asked, "Where is she?" None of them answered. Aedion demanded, "What are you doing here?" — those too telling eyes

It still smells like her😭 — OH MY WORD THE LETTER — TERRASEN REMEMBERS EVALIN ASHRYVER. DO YOU? I FOUGHT AT MISTWARD FOR YOUR PEOPLE. RETURN THE GODS-DAMNED FAVOR. — I FUCKING LOVE HER — Clever girl she knew when and who to ask

Lysandra has her MY HEART

ROWAN KNEW CAUSE HE KNEW HER TALE

Okay but legit how long can Lysandra fake it was she told all the stories

The fact he chose to be quiet like his dad I love the irony of knowing and all of them every thing she called in for them for him

WHY IS ILIAS MAKING ME CRY SO MUCH (also is it Ilias like “Iliad” with an s & no d or or like ELLE-EYE-Az or like Ill-eee—iss?)

“The Queen of the Wastes whispered, "Ilias." Ilias, son of the Mute Master of the Silent Assassins, gaped at Ansel, his back stiffening. But Rowan stepped toward the man, drawing his attention. Ilias's eyes narrowed in assessment. And he, like Galan, scanned them all, searching for a golden-haired woman who was not there. His eyes returned to Rowan as if he'd marked him as the axis of this group. In a voice hoarse from disuse, Ilias asked him, "We have come to fulfill our life debt to Celaena Sardothien—to Aelin Galathynius. "Where is she?" "You are the sessiz suikast," Dorian said, shaking his head. "The Silent Assassins of the Red Desert." Ilias nodded. And glanced at Ansel, who still seemed near vomiting, before saying to Rowan, "It seems my friend has called in many debts in addition to ours." As if the words themselves were a signal, more white-clad figures filled the dunes behind them. Dozens. Hundreds. Rowan wondered if every single assassin from that desert Keep had come to honor their debt to the young woman. A lethal legion in themselves. — They knew Rowan was the closest to her and how did Dorian know who they were

“"Tell Aelin Galathynius that Wendlyn has never forgotten Evalin Ashryver," Galan said to him, to Aedion. "Or Terrasen." I promise you that no matter how far I go, no matter the cost, when you call for my aid, I will come, Aelin had told him she'd sworn to Darrow. I'm going to call in old debts and promises. To raise an army of assassins and thieves and exiles and commoners. And she had. She had meant and accomplished every word of it.” — she doesn’t break her word… their are still many wars left

“Tears slid down Aedion's face as he silently sobbed. Where are our allies, Aelin? Where are our armies? She had taken the criticism-taken it, because he knew she hadn't wanted to disappoint them if she failed. Rowan put a hand on Aedion's shoulder.” — good job Rowan, Aedion it’s not your fault… both oh sweet AELIN😭 YALL I will defend this woman at all costs lol

“For Terrasen. For them. For a better world. Aelin Galathynius had raised an army not just to challenge Morath ... but to rattle the stars.” — now I’m sobbing on my metaphorical knees with very real non metaphor tears — if only you dared — what is it with Maas and good star quotes?

“She'd known that she would not get to lead it. But she would still hold true to her promise to Darrow: I promise you on my blood, on my family's name, that I will not turn my back on Terrasen as you have turned your back on me. And the last piece of it ... if Chaol Westfall and Nesryn Faliq could rally forces from the southern continent ... Aedion at last looked up at him, eyes wide as he came to the same realization. A chance. His wife, his mate, had bought them a fool's shot at this war. And she did not believe that they would come for her.” — they are coming, but my heart is breaking (come on Chaol, especially as I keep thinking it’s you😂or Yrene… this list is already long and that’s without all those lol) also I keep hearing Kingsley “they are coming” lol and also EVERY-TIME HE SAYS HIS WIFE

That smile ... It punched a hole through his heart. Lysandra had taught herself Aelin's smile, that bit of wickedness and delight, honed with that razor edge of cruelty. Lysandra's acting, honed in the same hellhole Aelin had learned hers, was flawless as she spoke to Galan.

“Their allies, their enemies, could not know that the immortal fire of Mala had been stolen. Leashed.”

She kept her word, FIND HER, king consort, give them a chance, TOO MUCH HAPPENING

Good job Lorcan. I love you Elide. — Healing therapy boat time! —

"I will go with you. I will help you get her back." — "Together. We'll go together."

To WHATEVER end😭

I love when they call her “Lady of Perranth”

HE CALLED HIM BROTHER🥹😭

“eyes burning bright. Rowan knew how much it killed him. But if the world believed Aelin was returning north, then one of her generals had to be at her side to lead her armies. And since Aedion commanded the loyalty of the Bane ... "Bring her back, Prince," Aedion said, voice cracking. "Bring her home." Rowan held his brother's stare and nodded. "We will see you again. All of you." — everyone come home plus ships gotta sail plus the home part ow okay and let’s take the promise as foreshadowing

Hopefully they knew in the plan Rowan would notice😅 but yeah you were probably king

"The witches fly north," Dorian said. "And I will go with them. To see if I can do what needs to be done." "Stay with us," Rowan offered. "We'll find a way to deal with the keys and the Lock and the gods—all of it." Dorian shook his head. "If you go after Maeve, the keys should be kept far away. If I can help by doing this, by finding the third will serve you better that way." — he will help … and stay with his Witchling

Rally like Aelin had said

Dorian again looked to Manon, who now smiled faintly at him. It was a smile that softened her face, made it come alive. "He won't die if I can help it," the witch said, then surveyed them all.

Hope-precious, fragile hope—stirred in Rowan's blood. — I feel it too.

BOTH of you

And then Aedion forgave him😭

THE SWORD

And we get more Sorrel and Asterin time!

THANK MANON

Red haired queen with a wolf’s smile

“Felt something stir in him-felt the bond flicker. He let the shirt drop, let the wind carry it far out to sea, far away from this blood-drenched place that reeked of pain. I will find you.” — the bond is STILL there

Chaining the wind to him, swiftly catching up with his companions now flying down the coast, he committed her scent to memory, committed that flicker in the bond to memory.

Is this the first time she hasn’t ended the book?And in paralell it’s still her but his lens? Ow?

HIS WIFE & War cry time & HER last name

“That flicker he could have sworn he felt in answer, like the fluttering heart of an ember. Unleashing a cry that set the world trembling, Prince Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius, Consort of the Queen of Terrasen, began the hunt to find his wife.”

Hope? & I WILL FIND YOU …

Final weird opinion: this was somehow both worse and better than I thought it would be? Like no one died. And there’s hope. And so many awesome things. But also Ow! Why? wtf? It made sense but also it didn’t? And WHAT?! But also it was so well done? I don’t know… perhaps pondering is needed.

Bonus chapter then back to life for me! With ToD.

(possible) BONUS chapter(s?):

Bonus Chapter 1. “Aelin & magic in Terrasen in EoS Beginning:

Why are the pages always so pretty?😂

Nice to see everyone together again for one moment (esp. now😅😬)

So was this cut cause they don’t go to Orynth?🤷‍♀️

I thought only Ellywe was burning?

Are the scars a reference to Evangeline?

So two days isn’t the book like three so this is right beginning or pre-begining? Is that what the ToD one is then too? Also any KoA?

I WANNA SEE SQUIRREL STEALING SUPPLIES LYSANDRA

“Aelin stuck out her tongue at the Fae Prince. Evangeline giggled— then quickly hid the grin when Rowan shot a look at her. The girl darted to Lysandra-wholly missing the crinkling in Rowan's eyes as she took over pampering Fleetfoot. Something tightened in Aelin's chest at Rowan's quiet amusement. He and Aedion had both been kind to the girl-knowing when to tease, when to comfort. Two bossy, overbearing older brothers-and trained, lethal killers. Gods help Evangeline when she was old enough to be interested in anyone romantically.” — why do they delete this stuff it tends to be my favorite🥹

I LOVE THEIR LITTLE FAMILY

Represent!!

Oh Aelin jsur wait till you meet Elide & you and Manon try to out-big-sister each other

“They’d have a fire-breathing bitch-queen and a shape-shifter capable of turning into the face of their nightmares waiting to have a little chat.”

“If you turn into a squirrel," Evangeline said into Lysandra's road-dusty white shirt, "will you travel on my shoulder and let me make an acorn hat for you to wear?" Aelin bit her lip, striding toward Rowan and the water before she could make the mistake of meeting Lysandra's gaze and howling. Rowan was indeed clamping his lips together, eyes dazzlingly bright.” — His eyes are so happy for once in these moments😭

Off to the woods again

Oh Oakwald

WAIT THIS SCENE😂

“Indeed, they all were inclined to make the girl happy. Evangeline had suffered enough-seen far more than a child should ever witness. Aelin and Lysandra had as well. As had Aedion, she supposed. But out of all of them... "You had a fairly happy childhood," she said, more musing than question. Rowan nodded nonetheless. "Yes— my parents faded when I was still young. But in all honesty, my uncle's house was much more... fun.” — I can appreciate the cousins more now too … so did Elena fade or is that different?

So can all Whitethorns fly? — Would that mean Aedion can shift? — okay wait it’s being addressed and the golden eagle is cool

"Would they have sided with you—against her?" "It's been so long since I bothered to spend more than a few minutes with them that I honestly don't know. I was not kind to them for a great while. I was worried that they might add more obstacles for you and me." — FORSHADOWING

That explains the cadre even more

Even with Lyria as not his mate he still loved her as did she him (she might not even have felt the bond… it explains disagreements) and the grief is still heavy … he very well might have found her anyway since so long passed and finding mates is so rare

I’d love to see the Whitethorns places like let’s see where he grew up and the houses and stuff… or just build a home together

SHE MADE A BIRD JOKE

When did he officially get banished?

"If I weren't banished from Doranelle for the rest of eternity, I'd invite you to come play house. And I'd give you two days before you were bored out of your mind and grousing to me about it." "I happen to love playing house. Nesting is an art form for me." Her lips twitched. "Don't you dare turn that into some joke about birds."

Ah yes Lysandra & Aedion’s many odd strolls😂

"You looked at me while we were running through the trees, and you smiled." She swallowed. "And you looked... you looked so alive, so wild and alive, and." She traced the contours of his mouth. "I think that was the moment when I began to want you. I didn't know it at the time, but ....I think it was then. You were real and wicked and as savage as I was, and when you saw my speed and the Fae heritage and you didn't balk ... When you only smiled at me... No one had ever done that before. You saw all of me, yet you still smiled." Rowan brushed her unbound hair out of her face. "I think we both tried for a damn long time to convince ourselves of our ... neutrality." He kissed one of her cheekbones, then the other. "I find I prefer this much more." Her toes curled inside her boots. "Likewise, Prince," — why do they cut these moments I’m so glad they at least have bonus chapter

How Rowan had wandered the wilds for ten years ... Aelin didn't like to think about it. Him alone for that long, or the grief and guilt and rage that had thrown him so far into that abyss. That even when he'd returned to civilization a decade later, he hadn't really ... lived. Yes, he'd gone off to war, gone on a thousand adventures, but ... Aelin kept close to Rowan as they made their way into the little village, hooded and cloaked.

So the king had ordered the executions even if he was trying to stop Valg he still did it

That’s why she was learning how to make water butterflies

Same age as Aelin was

Rowan really is a good magic teacher

“A laugh of joy lodged in Aelin's throat as she surveyed the fine details up close. The girl wasn't just strong. She was creative. She'd used different currents to shape patterns into the wings, the entire butterfly in constant motion within its form.” — this is just lovely, Aelin so happy, just a moment of peace

"You're like me?" The accent—the Terrasen accent, the lilt to the words ... She had not spoken to one of her people, in her own land, in ... a very long time. — once again I wish we knew the accent but I’m starting to think Scottish? Irish?

"Not as talented, but yes." And the sound of her accent, the mix of Terrasen and Adarlan... The girls chin lifted. Mistrust—a bit of fear. But courage. A great well of cour-age. The girl did not back down.

So can water magic always heal?

Aelin knew who she meant, but she still looked over her shoulder to Evangeline, who stood between Aedion and Rowan, each warrior with a hand on her shoulder. — protecting her — In the bright sun, the girl's scars were stark—-brutal. "Bad people tried to hurt her," Aelin said. "Mama says that with my magic, I could be a great healer." "You indeed could," Aelin replied, flicking her attention over to where the woman now monitored them with a stone face. "I could heal her scars one day, maybe." Aelin considered. "That is very generous of you. I suppose it would be up to my friend, though—whether she wishes to remove them." With magic-based healing, it'd still be a brutal process, but ... perhaps it was possible. "I could fix yours, too." Clever-eyed little thing. "You could do that, and a great many more things," Aelin said. She went on a bit louder, just so the adults could hear, "You could ensure your fields and farms get proper water. You could keep the fountain's well safe. And yes, you could learn to heal and tend to the sick and injured." "Where?" said a low female voice. Aelin looked to the older woman seated on the cracked fountain lip-the town's matron. "Where does she learn such things?" the woman pushed. Aelin paused. She didn't know. Had no idea. "They burned the magic academy," the woman said. "There's no place left to learn." "I know," Aelin said. "Then don't put dreams in her head," the woman snapped. Aelin's cheeks heated. But Aedion said behind her, still hidden beneath his hood, "Terrasen will be rebuilt. Give it a few years, and there will be a place."

"If war comes, if we survive, wait a year after it ends. Then come to Orynth, and find Celaena Sardothien. Go to the castle and tell them you're looking for her, and have come at last for magic lessons." — I really want this full circle (and ugh that means Aelin still believed she’d see it back then) and also so many peoples she’s helped and then all showing up in EoS

"Do not be afraid of what makes you shine brightly." — how in the world did that line get cut?

The double sided gold coin (is her head/picture on it)

Eyes so bright from Fireheart

The water butterfly followed🥹

Is the next day where we resume then?

"There is nothing to fix"

I wish they all blamed themselves less

"You don't need it, Evangeline. You're perfect as you are." — reason 5013 why I love Aedion — Lysandra was just staring at her young ward, devastation in those pale green eyes. Devastation and yet... Lysandra glanced at Aedion, who had moved to sit beside Evangeline and was showing her how to make a proper daisy chain. Aelin didn't miss the change in Lysandra's expression, even in ghost leopard form, as she took in the warrior.

Rowan knew she told the girl

“The pride in his eyes made her throat tighten. "It is an honor to serve you.” — yeah I needed that chapter after this cliffhanger ending — “But Aelin shook her head, looking at him, at Aedion, at Evangeline, and Lysandra, watching over them all. "The honor is all mine," she said softly.”

AHHHH ITS SQUIRREL LYSANDRA I AM LIVING FOR THIS — Lysandra remained in squirrel form throughout the day, and the next one after that, and wore her acorn hat as proudly as any fine lady while she rode atop Evangeline's shoulder.

Bonus Chapter 2: Chaol & Nesryn travel (pre ToD)

Actually looking forward to this I needed it and I missed them

Well I had notes but tumblr deleted them and now I’m just disappointed

Where’s the fan art and how to tell special editions / get them?

It’s chaol all in one, every side, the one I loved, the one I hated, the one he was, the one he will be

SARTAQ sounds familiar

Brutal upbringing by the sounds of that cheery deacription

Can’t wait for the map; please tell me there’s a new one

Even he knew about Rowan; that they were soulmates

Needing an additional Aedion your not style broken moment

Adventure to save and risk what they love most

She on fleek

Terrin please be in terrasin

Someone please tell them so they don’t worry when they hear and actually have letters this time pre Rifthold falls so they don’t see all that

So do they already know then about the witches?

Endure — that word again!

Old king hatred line sneak peek for tower of dawn my how much has changed

Aelin’s negotiations lol yeah it fits her vibe

He tried everyday CHAOL WESTFALL YALL

Dorian sent them with books🥹

From the moment Nehemia died OW AGAIN NO WHY AN I ALREADY CRYING

This is the HoF for Chaol? isn’t it? His healing? Taking me back to Chaolaena to break me again? — cause I’m back there again

No verbal wars😭 I miss the days of sparring and no one dying

He would beat this he would fight it YES HE WOULD

Come on with the army HURRY NOW PLEASE

How about empress??? Hmm??

Oh wait yeah!!!

Oh noooooo

How do you solve a problem like Maria but it’s Aelin lol how to describe her well maybe try 9 books

She does fall for the world, in love & apart

She’s a storm; that much is true

Empire you say??? Perhaps one of storms

Assassin queen YES

She was always her but yes it did change — He calls her Aelin now And is harsh again — then the name mix back to Celaena Aa I FELL IN LOVE WITH A FACET… so much was just said — crying again — Nesryn says Aelin’s because he knows what she meant the respect or whatever it is living there

Unfaltering THATS NESRYN

What’s her connection to SARTAQ??? Could we get a queen ally? Maybe Yrene is one of the kids of the secret assassin? Some kinda connection?

Oh Nesryn

Oh chaol

Oh the feels

Yet also needed after that ending back to the good old days and a story and I’m already hooked But also the timeline I MUSR KNOW But also so SO much and legit I’m ready to start the series now

Together.

Thank you Nesryn for that speech!!!

What conclusions? Chaol??

He’d yet to find the one that makes him want to live again 😭

See Aelin has Rowan Dorian has Chaol neither will die great we’re good then

More random thoughts out of order: so you would say he is NOT the captain now? Yay therapy ship? Did she steal another of Rolfe’s?

Quotes time cause I’m lazy & remixing:

“The beginnings of an adventure that may doom or save those they love most ...” — well that’s not concerning after this last book

“Wind Cuttor”

He wouldn't have put it past either of them to have bribed or bullied the ship's captain into yielding the room- but from the polite, cool distance with which the captain treated him and Nesryn, Chaol suspected that the Queen of Terrasen had made a point of visiting the ship before departing for her own kingdom. A suspicion that was only solidified by the handprint burned into the desk across the room.

He tried. Every day he tried to get just one of his toes to move. The empty silence that greeted him was more terrifying than those moments facing the king. — so did the king not trying to kill him?

Has a very “she never talked” “he never asked” vibe

Everything with her had been out of order from the very start. They hadn't even really become proper friends until this spring. And they certainly weren't lovers now.

“They'd vanished the moment Nehemia Ytger had died,”

Dorian appointed him the King's Hand, he was still no better than an oath-breaker, a liar, a traitor. — join the club kid

It’s interesting that Chaol’s starts acknowledging mercy as the term and Nesryn starts with merciless

"It will only get worse," — I don’t care if your talking about the sun stop it and knock on wood right this second before it comes true

“Peacefully- calmly. Not at all like the verbal sparring that had always accompanied sessions with Aelin. He wondered if it made him a bastard for not knowing what he preferred.”

“He would beat this; he would fight this.” — there’s the foreshadowing I need/want

Is there a possibility Khagan have to do with silent assassins?

Maybe Maeve’s far away place will be this continent and they can help?

The last khagan had been female a mighty empress who had made slavery illegal, paid good money to bring in artists of all kinds to enrich her cities, and opened trade routes with previous enemies, filling her empire's coffers to the point of overflowing.

Chaol wondered what it had been like to grow up in that household-to be a potential khagan heir and know your siblings might one day kill you. Though Chaol supposed it wouldn't be too different from his own upbringing. — ow lol

"How do I explain Aelin Galathynius?"

“do you still hold hope for her?" "No," he said, his voice flat and hollow. "She changed her mind; she changed—as a person. And even if she had wanted to be with me, I would not have left Dorian, and she would have gone to Terrasen, and it would never have worked. And perhaps we would have been a bit shattered by it, but whether in a year, or ten... Rowan would have been there. Waiting for her, all that time." — It’s romantic but it’s true — "That's a rather romantic view of it." But her gaze rose to his face—to the scar along his cheek, courtesy of Aelin. "She's allowed to fall in and out of love as she chooses." "And have you fallen out of love with her?" "This spring and summer was a maelstrom," he said tightly, glancing at the burned handprint peeking from beneath a stack of papers across the desk. "Between Dorian, and all that happened ... Everything fell apart. If the price of getting Dorian back was losing her, then so be it."

"Am I supposed to lie in bed and weep over it? That I was not the man she wanted? Am I supposed to mourn the fact that the dreams I had, the plans I made, were all for a woman who did not exist? Loving an assassin with no responsibilities is completely different from loving a queen with a kingdom and a world to look after. Would I have loved her if I had known from the start what she is?" He shook his head. "If I had met her now... my first instinct would have been to protect Dorian from her. I expect the hagan to feel the same." His words sank in, one by one. He added more calmly, running a hand over his face

"That's the difference. Celaena was a fraction of Aelin- both good and bad. But Aelin... She is Celaena, and she is queen, and she is the Fire-Bringer. I fell in love with a facet, and I panicked when I realized it was a fraction of the whole— when I saw that power, that heritage, and... It was not a part of my plans." He looked to the sea gleaming behind her, the wind whipping the waves. "Rowan Whitethorn saw every-thing. From the moment he met her, he saw all of Aelin. And he was not afraid. I don't blame either of them for falling in love. I don't blame her." He loosed a shuddering breath. "I was what Celaena needed after Endovier. But Rowan is who Aelin needs— forever."

"And what about what you need?" "I have never been in a position to demand the things I need. This trip... is the first." "You give and give and give," she murmured. "When will it be enough?" "It is my honor to serve." "I don't mean in that way. When have you ever been selfish?" "Stop trying to make me out to be something I'm not." She lowered her hand from his hair, the corner of her mouth tugging upward. "And what is that? A good man?" "People died because of me." — I’m glad he has her looking out for him & there it is starting weight the weight of Cain to now

“He met those dark eyes. Unfaltering will glimmered in them.” — I love that THIS is how he describes her

"You will walk again," Nesryn repeated. "And you will remember that you are a good man regardless, a brave and selfless man. You will remember that you may not have magic, but there is mighty power in the strength of ordinary people. You will remember that..." Her chest heaved, and she steadied herself with a long breath. "You will remember, Chaol," she said, "that the world needs men like you. In war, and after it. Especially after it." — well said… remembering why I fell for him & Apart over it in the first place

"I will go where I am needed most." "And if that is at my side?" "Then that is where I shall be." Her dark eyes flickered. "But I hold you to no promises, Chaol. I expect nothing." "Why?" "Because I know who I am-what I am. You turned to me last summer, after Lithaen left you for Lord Roland. You turned to me again this spring, after Aelin. I am not the first choice. But for now, it suits my own interests to be here. I enjoy your company— enjoy you." He wasn't sure how the conversation had shifted toward this. "You-you aren't some sort of consolation prize." She let out a low laugh and leaned in to kiss the top of his head. "Would you have picked me if Aelin had come running back to you? Would you have noticed my existence?" — you are NOT an eternal consolation prize Nesryn you are MORE and ooh my word Not the flashbacks, oh my old Chaolaena heart😭 — He hated words, had always preferred action. And this ... He still had nothing to say as she shut the door behind herself. — Time to learn to communicate

"You can't stop fighting. You can't stop living. Or you will never survive what's ahead."

"Says the woman who barely smiles and laughs." "Do not mistake my reserve for lack of feeling. Do not think that because I don't flash my emotions around it means that I do not have them. That I do not have hopes and fears and desires. I have had to learn to be calm, to be quiet and aloof- because growing up in a city where most people were predisposed to dislike me for my heritage, I had to be those things. And now that we are headed into war, I find that those things are gifts. But I do not shut out the world. I do not shut out life. And I think you were doing that for a long, long time before your spine was broken. Before even Aelin came along." — before celeana too — & Like Lysandra and Aelin Nesryn is always right

And he would fight like hell to keep Dorian from that fate, to save Adarlan, but ... he didn't really see the point in bothering to fall in love with the world. Not when it could be taken from him. Not with so many dangers waiting to rip them apart.

“Even with the words between them, when he awoke at dawn, Nesryn was nestled against him, her hand curled against his bare chest. Right over his heart—as if she held it gently in her palm. Chaol laid his hand over hers, listening to her steady, unfaltering breathing. He would fight-but... he wasn't quite sure how to even begin this business of living.”

Also are there any half finished or cut ones to look up? — think I got em all?

Then onto my next read ⬇️

(possible) Tower of Dawn pre-read/first start thoughts: 4 later!

Okay now it’s officially time Road here I come bright & early (hopefully) yay

[tiredsmashbros]

SMG34: LIPBITE COMIC WIP UPDATE

oh boy... i know a bunch of folks are hyped for this comic... and boy oh boy are ya'll's prayers going to be heard... kind of... butt for the celebration milestone, and granted majority are from this comic, i thought it was best to give EVERYTHING that i have currently.

starting off STRONG with what you freaks most want: the completed pages. andddd yep that's it that all that i have done LMAO. i've been fixated on my own smg4 oc: tsb, and during the end of my summer was unfortunately fucked over by some personal issues that fortunately got resolved last minute good grief the anxiety prevented me from drawing the gays sigh... aNYWAYS LINEART WIPS!!!!

here are linearts i have completed / in the progress of!! want to aim like i did in the past by finishing up lineart first, and then speed through with color + minor rendering. the reason i have a few colored is to test out what it would look polished and my god... i have improved A LOT. THESE GAY PEOPLE GIVE POWER I AM NOT KIDDING BELIEVE ME IM NOT CRAY- anyways onto wip pages!

jumpscare: tsb stickman sketches. oh yeah. this is how i sketch and i blame sensei eiichiro oda /j. and in case anyone is unable to understand it {i don't blame u LMAO}, smg4 wakes up from the dream and is startled to see mario by his bed. they have a short convo before mario leaves, and we get a job to smg4 in the bathroom trying to put up a brave face. until the moment he leaves he's stunned due to seeing smg3 at his front door. will i elaborate more on specifics or unwritten dialogue? NOPE! gotta keep secrets to make it even more enjoyable at the end!!

currently at 13 sketched pages total, but this is probably gonna be reaching towards 20-ish pages, surpassing part two, but it will depend on how i come up with how to end it. additionally to confirm there will be a PART FOUR / chapter 3, to end this story. my goal is to have it done before i finish my senior year, or at least during the summer after i graduate bc good lord who knows whats gonna happen.

and lastly, before i end this crazy update, SCRAPPED PAGESSS!!!!!

CONTENT WARNING : NSFW SKETCHES !!!! PLEASE LOOK AWAY IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR DON'T LIKE THIS TYPE OF STUFF!!!

oh boy... dont draw comics while sleep-deprived at 6am... idek what i was even aiming with this ngl other than just for fun, but i scrapped it due to not being what i had in mind for the story. if it doesn't serve a purpose or narrative, its bye bye YEAH BYE BYE THIS IS THE CLOSEST NSFW UR GONNA GET FROM ME HAHAHAHAHA- i say that despite writing a nsfw jojo wattpad smh im only confident doing it in words good lord. btw not watermarking these bc i gen don't care since they're legit scrapped {left top part was kept and completed} so idk what to do with these. im just throwing it and walkin away

now to end with this update, i can hear your question, "when will this be done?" and to answer that question: i'm not entirely sure due to my heavy focus on my smg4 oc: tsb, but my best chance is postponing my oc lore a bit and complete this before november UOIYGJDSIUHJKDWSXYUGHJKCS but we shall have too see...

if you want to join the ping list comment on this post LMAO [click]

ignore below if you're not from the tsb birthday partydddjdhdhdjd

...

...

...

thurs: smg34 is canon in the tsb universe / au. though most of their encounters are platonic or best-friendy-way, they eventually express their feelings to one another and start dating 3/4’s way of the tsb storyline arc. tsb is a supporter of his friend's relationship and admires and takes inspiration from their relationship heavily to input his future love life. yearning to be in a similar position... to learn what is to really love someone... or what it's truly like to be loved...

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 21/11✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hi! Would Macaque kidnap Wukong again? I read your comic, the last page, where Macaque is the kidnapping expert. And I'm very curious about it. Anyway, I love your comics! You are awesome.

Haha I don't think they really need it unless they want to do a "traditional wedding courtnapping" but it would be pretty odd since they kind of already live togehter.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I know this is definitely a LONG ways away, but, imagine: Wukong and Macaque playing the newlyweds game. What questions? What answers? Who’s asking the questions? Who’s getting the most right?

I wont list all the lesson but I think Macaque would get most of them right just because Wukong never really changed a lot during the years, while Macaque went through different stages of his life, and and he has new hobbies and tastes.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Will mk have a nightmare about LBD? If yes Then we will have some angst with fluffy monkeys family moments!!!

Oh he has. He has many. Most of them he has while he is at pigsy's.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Can you please shows up a flashback backstory on how MK/Wukong discovered/found out/came out as trans?? 🙏🙏🙏 Banana sundae with chocolate sauce, rainbow sprinkles, THREE cherries, and a super-deluxe one-and-only Monkie King™️ collectible spoon???

Anonimo ha chiesto: will we see any past Shadowpeach?? I’m interested to see how you frame their dynamic back 5en.

Hahah maybe in the future, I'll see

Anonimo ha chiesto: Can we get Wukong telling dad jokes? Please, I’m begging i want to see MK laughing and Macaque just being so disappointed with Wukong yet so smitten. I want to see more Monkey family domestic blissss. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

I don't have my dad jokes book here but man give Macaque an award for the patience he has with these two children

@goofybearclown ha chiesto: Hi :3 Just wanted to say I love your shadowpeach and cotl AU!!! I didn't notice you made both at first but when I did I was like "waow :0". Tbh your works are in my top 3 series on Tumblr! @fenikzia ha chiesto: I love your LMK comic so much, I look forward to reading the new additions to it when they come out every other day,and reading your comic just makes my day better. Even if it hasn't updated a particular day, I make sure to go back and reread the newest part.Keep doing what you're doing and make sure to take breaks! @skye-minecraftyt-blog ha chiesto: You! I like you! Your Bio parents Lmk au always makes me extremely happy and I regularly reread it. ((o(^∇^)o)) Just wanted to say it @blazeandsilver ha chiesto: Hello, I just wanted to say your artwork is absolutely stunning, it makes my day whenever I see that you posted something new to the BioParents comic. Please keep up the good work and be sure to take some time for yourself, you’re important too.

AWWWWWW THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE!!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hihi shadowpeach au question: You mentioned in the latest comic that Mac is more lean and skinny than Wukong. Will we ever see the full extent of that?? ALSO I ADORE YOUR ART OMG ❤️❤️

A fully naked Macaque you say? Maybe.... who knows....

Anonimo ha chiesto: I come to defend Wukong acting like a man looking at a victorian lady ankles, he hasn’t seen his (ex) husband’s fur in centuries. And he probably hasn’t socialize in years either besides MK and the gang. Romantically he is stunned right? I doubt he has even looked at anyone besides Macaque anyways…

Honestly I like to think that Macaque was the only being in all the universe that was eer able to make him flustered

@mochalikesdrawing ha chiesto: So I got a question, will we ever get to see kaiju MK again?

I have a scene post AU I would like to draw. Maybe.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Ignoring all the angst because it is crushing my soul /pos, I'm lowkey convinced that Macaque knows Wukong feels some kind of way about him because he can hear his heartbeat go crazy at certain moments and isn't dumb, but just isn't calling Wukong on it because he's still trying to sort his own feelings first. BUT ONCE HE DOES OH BOY-

Hahah Macaque knows perfectly well Wukong is down for him. In the meantime Wukong is alwasy afraid he's just imagining things bc he's dense af.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Do you think Wukong and macaque would be cuddling and macaque would be watching something scary and Wukong would be trying to not pay attention to it because he hates scary stuff or would it be the other way around?

yess

@ep2nd ha chiesto: In your shadowpeach bio parents au, if MK and Wukong were created by Nuwa, with Nuwa using Macaque and Wukong as a base, has anyone wondered who created Macaque? And does Macaque himself knows?

Wait Nuwa created Wukong? If that's so I think then all the 5 monkeys were made by her, for some reason.

@boonalina ha chiesto: Sooo what exactly is the courtnapping process like? Is it just a simple "I'm gonna pick you up and carry you away" or is it an entire ceremony? Does someone have to lure the person into place? For example, Mei bringing Redson over to a secluded spot so that Mk can "courtnap" him? (Side note: I've been in this fandom for around two years now, and this comic is what made me find out about courtnapping lol)

I "think" anything that can be counted as like a sneak attack that takes them out of guard and brings them to the designated courtnapped room can be considered as courtnapping technically.

Anonimo ha chiesto: ... Hey so your shadow peach bio parent AU is better way better than season five. WOAH, WHO SAID THAT!! (no but seriously it is like a sitcom I tune on ever so often. Much love 🫶)

Haha thank you! That's a HUGE statement!

Anonimo ha chiesto: I wonder if MK has any unique attributes/abilities as a living mass of celestial material?

He's such a cocktail ofdifferent energies I wouldn't be surprised he is able to glow in the dark.

@cjtuy ha chiesto: I do have a question it's mainly about pigsy and tang when and how long have they been together as a couple and did both of them find mk are they married ?

They have been together for almost a year, but I don't think they are married, but maybe that could happen in the future??? But yeah MK found out a little after season 5 that they are together, that was also the same time he started calling Tang "Papa"

Anonimo ha chiesto: Has macaque added any personal items to the house? Like is he moved in? Have Wukong and macaque improved or changed anything else besides making the bed bigger?

Yes he did! Half of his belongins are in FFM, althought he's a little more minimalistic than Wukong. He also have been bothering Wukong to death so that he can finally organize his stuff (and they were roomates

Anonimo ha chiesto: I feel like if they were to play Minecraft or something macaque would be the base mom. He would be the only one to remember to farm food to not starve. The others would probably forget all the time that hunger is a thing in game. Wukong or Mk: oh dang does anyone have food I'm starving Macaque: (always brings extra for this reason) "sighs" yes

AH!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Remember the Minor Scale episode, from season 2? Where MK learn how to shrink himself? And there’s also the final episode of that season where MK just grow very big to try to fight LBD. I just love that part of his power and I have seen very little people showing it. Like, sometimes that power can show up when the poor boy is experiencing overwhelming emotions that can’t be contained anymore, or pure exhaustion. For example, Having many responsibility can lead to a lot of stress and exhaustion and at some point MK just can’t do more and just become tiny, not able to do more. On the opposite, maybe he experience trauma again through a nightmare (like about azure for example) and the emotional burden is to much and he just becomes big because of that. You see my vision? I love sizeshifting base on emotions :)

Aww and i love emotion-based powers, they are just so easy to play around.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Tbh the show should let macaque have a motorcycle. Wukong gets to be passenger princess

Yesss

Anonimo ha chiesto: as we get into the colder months i like to imagine MK’s first winter coat and he’s all super fluffy and warm

Cool for the monkey parents, bad for pigsy and all the hair in the restaurant from sheeding.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I think it would be so funny if MKs rock hadn't been cracked and he'd been raised on FFM by wukong. If the same thing happens in the show macaque planning to take mks powers thinking he's just Wukongs student but then while macaque and MK are training. Since macaque is so close he notices his ears. (Being raised by a monkey he gets his form sooner) suddenly putting everything on hold busting into FFM and is like WUKONG WTF

There's a fic on AO3 about it it's A Son of Two Dads

@cheese-hommo ha chiesto: Hii, fiesta I want to say I love how you draw and everything, it just looks so cool and beautiful. Now, with the last chapter of Monkey parents Au and so, with the acknowledgement of the demon etiquette and else, DBK and Wukong really misunderstand the comfort scene for a confession? Or something more? It was just so funny seeing the two of them getting so embarrassed at the end 🙂‍↕️

Ah, 2 young demons in their true forms so close to each other, blushing? Scandalous.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I've seen Mk is his Lego merch- he gots a tooth gap- so does this MK have one or did he get it filled?

Wait that was a tooth gap??? I though it was like, a detail of the smile

Anonimo ha chiesto: 🎤 what is your official (if any) opinion on Ink MK? (as a character, plot device, literary parallel, what have you)

It's ok. I personally believe "shadow" version of one character with their own fears and doubts is a clique a little bit too much used. But they give a lot of angst.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Thoughts on Macaque knowing either Japanese or Korean due to him liking anime.

I'll give you one better. Macaque always traveled to Japan pretty frequently during the centuries. Then became a weeb

Anonimo ha chiesto: Maybe it's just me but Wukong looks a bit thicker each time, is it because his fur's thickening or is he getting chubbier ??????? Anyway luv ur art

Both.

[marcyvamp1re-blog]

⺌☆. . . MASTERLIST ───  . DC & Marvel

☆...Original art; discount-supervillain

「 The list is updated daily. If you'd like to see a character on this list, please request it or ask in the comments if they can be added.

Below is a list of links. If at any point none of them work, please send me a message or comment below the list mentioning the issue, and I will fix it immediately. Not all links have visible warnings from the outside. Most do not have explicit warnings. However, if you're interested in any particular link, I recommend opening it and checking the warnings within each post to understand its content.

Also, if you see some titles without a link, it may be because they are not yet made or haven't been published yet.」

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Welcome to the DC Section—Tread Carefully, or Darkseid Will Get You!

─── SUPERMAN Clark Kent

☆...Reporter by day, hero by night… and also by day! The real star-man. Can lift buildings, see through walls, and give Lex Luthor a heart attack just by existing.

Its Evolution, Baby! Yandere Clark Kent x Inmortal! Reader [old post]

Quimera Yandere! Clark Kent x Android reader.

─── BATMAN Bruce Wayne

☆...Billionaire by day, vigilante by night… and apparenty, never sleeps. His superpowers? Money and being Gotham’s most wanted bachelor.

Revenant Platonic! Yandere! Bruce Wayne x neglected! Reader. (Silly Little Bat AU)

─── WONDER WOMAN Diana Prince

☆...Amazonian princess, warrior goddess, and the reason many reconsider which side they’re fighting for.

To the future Diana Prince x Wife! Preg! Reader

─── SUPERBOY Conner Kent

☆...Half Superman, half Lex Luthor—because cloning is never a good idea. Too cool for school, too powerful for his own good, and forever stuck between "punch first" and "think later."

The Jubilee Conner Kent x Jubilee! Reader

───  ROBIN Damian Wayne

☆...Batman’s son, raised by assassins, and practically immortal. His favorite hobby? Reminding everyone he’s better than them.

Ponyo! Pt.1 Pt.2 Platonic! Damian Wayne x Ponyo! Reader.

The Wildcart series pt1 pt2 pt3 Platonic!Harley Quinn x Reader | Damian Wayne x Harley Daughter! Reader

─── RED ROBIN Tim Drake

☆...The Bat-Family’s teenage detective, the smart one. He probably solved this joke before you even finished reading it.

Nothing yet...

─── RED HOOD Jason Todd

☆...Once: Robin. Now: a guy with guns, authority issues, and serious family drama… well, just with his dad.

Nothing yet...

───  NIGHTWING Dick Grayson

☆...The original Boy Wonder with the best backside in comics. Leads teams, breaks hearts, and jumps rooftops like a pro.

Pierrot, the Sad Clown Yandere! Dick Grayson x Villainess! Reader

The Playboy Yandere! Student! Dick Grayson x depressed! Reader

─── ORPHAN / BATGIRL Cassandra Cain

☆...Doesn’t talk much, but doesn’t need to when she can take you down with a single look. Relax, she already knows everything about you.

Atelophobia Cassandra Cain x Asian! Fem reader!

─── HARLEY QUINN Harleen Quinzel

☆...From psychiatrist to villain, to hero, to whatever she wants to be today. Chaotic yet charming—everyone’s favorite girl

The Wildcart series pt1 pt2 pt3 Platonic!Harley Quinn x Reader | Damian Wayne x Harley Daughter! Reader

Sororal Platonic! Harley Quinn x Reader

─── POISON IVY Pamela Isley

☆...An eco-terrorist with style. Loves plants, eats meat, and hates humans… except for Harley. But let’s be real, Harley doesn’t really count as human.

But I, love Ivy Pamela Isley x Reader (Silly Little Bat)

Death in Bloom Pamela Isley x Male! Reader

─── LIVEWIRE Leslie L. Willem

☆...The rebel radio host with more voltage than a lightning storm. Don’t touch her unless you like frizzy hair… or want to risk your life!

Voicenote Leslie L. Willem x Male! Reader

Marvel’s Mightiest! Starting with Squirrel Girl—Because Even Galactus Fears Her!

─── WINTER SOLDIER Bucky Barnes

☆...Ex-sidekick, ex-brainwashed assassin, current broody guy with a metal arm. Still figuring things out.

Little Soldier Yandere! Platonic! Winter Soldier! Bucky Barnes x Supersoldier! Teen! Reader

Welcome to the 80's Yandere! Platonic! Steven Rogers x reader x Yandere! Platonic! Bucky Barnes

─── CAPTAIN AMERICA Steve Rogers

☆...Super-soldier, shield thrower, and America’s best boy scout. Can do this all day. He loves cookies...a lot.

Welcome to the 80's Platonic! Steven Rogers x reader x Platonic! Bucky Barnes

─── SPIDER-MAN Peter Parker & variants

☆...Wall-crawling, web-slinging, wise-cracking menace (according to J. Jonah Jameson). The amazing Spiderman!Just trying to balance life, rent, and saving New York...or Japan...or England, they are so many Spiders today! Damn multiverse!

Lacrymose Yandere! Cheater! Miguel O'Hara x Wife! Reader

─── VENOM Eddie Brock

☆...A journalist, a monster, and kind of a lethal protector. Likes brains, hates Spider-Man a lot.

The Monster Platonic Venom x Reader

─── SQUIRREL GIRL Doreen Green

☆...The unbeatable, unbreakable, unmatchable Squirrel Girl! She’s taken down Thanos, Galactus, and probably you in your sleep.

Balter Platonic! Doree Green x Mutant! Reader

─── PROFESSOR X Charles Xavier

☆...Mind-reader, mentor, and leader of the X-Men. Has a dream of mutant-human peace—if only Magneto would stop ruining it.

The Song of the Raven series Pt1 Pt2 Yandere! Platonic!Charles Xavier x Raven! reader x Yandere! Platonic! Erik Lehnsherr

─── MAGNETO Erik Lehnsherr

☆...Master of magnetism, enemy-turned-ally-turned-enemy-again. Probably right about mutants, but also probably too dramatic about it.

The Song of the Raven series Pt1 Pt2 Yandere! Platonic!Charles Xavier x Raven! reader x Yandere! Platonic! Erik Lehnsherr

Fata Morgana Yandere Erik Lehnsherr x Chubby! Witch! Reader

─── CYCLOPS Scott Summers

☆...The guy who can’t take off his sunglasses—unless he wants to level a city block. Team leader, rule follower, Jean Grey’s eternal headache!..or not.

Devil in Paradise Yandere! Scott Summers x Mutant!Reader

Little Pebble Yandere! Platonic! Scott Summers x Mutant!Reader

Bag of bones Yandere! Scott Summers x Amnesiac! Reader.

─── GAMBIT Remy LeBeau

☆...The smooth-talking, card-throwing Cajun thief. Can make anything explode—especially hearts.

Black Sheep Yandere! Platonic! Remy LeBeau x reader.

─── NIGHTCRAWLER Kurt Wagner

☆...A teleporting, acrobatic, demon-looking sweetheart. More Catholic guilt than your grandma. He's a baby boy.

Lurks Within Walls Yandere Kurt Wagner x Mutant! Reader

Nocturnal Animal Yandere Kurt Wagner x Wife! Reader

─── BEAST Hank McCoy

☆...A genius, a gentleman, and a giant blue fuzzball. Talks like Shakespeare, fights like a beast.

Savior Complex Yandere Hank McCoy x reader

─── STORM Ororo Munroe

☆...Controls the weather, commands respect, and makes every entrance legendary. A literal goddess.

My Pearl Yandere! Platonic! Ororo Munroe x Clon! Reader

─── PHOENIX Jean Grey

☆...Omega-level psychic, cosmic firebird, occasional planet-destroyer. She dies and comes back more often than a soap opera character.

Mourning Sun Yandere! Platonic! Jean Grey x Telepath! Reader

─── ROGUE Anna Marie

☆...One touch and she steals your powers, memories, and maybe your soul. Southern charm with a serious "hands-off" policy.

All I Wanted Anna Marie x Inmune! Reader

─── STAR-LORD Peter Quill

☆...Space outlaw, mixtape enthusiast, and self-proclaimed legendary hero. Usually messing things up in the best way possible.

Ramé Peter Quill x Astronaut! Reader

Nova Peter Quill x Alien! Reader

This part is under maintenance!

And finally, DOCTOR DOOM . Because all stories should end with Doom… at least according to him.

[starmocha]

When you accidentally notice a running theme in your writings 👉👈

For those wanting to scratch that special itch (so to speak), I curated this list of all of those...special fics and scenarios of mine if you're looking for a specific something-something (read: breeding kink 😈 and/or family fics 🥹). Please be mindful of the ratings. Yes, there will be more in the future, I've accepted my fate. 😔🫶

LINKS: Regular Masterlist ⋆ ★ Series Index ⋆ ★ Tag List ⋆ ★ AO3

last updated: april 23, 2025

FAMILY FICS (SFW)

Featuring the LADS men as fathers. Most stories will center primarily around fatherhood, but some may just be a short scene. While the majority are SFW, the ones that aren't will have MDNI listed alongside them.

sing little birdie

Stories about Sylus and his three-year-old daughter. status: ongoing indefinitely // updated sporadically 01. Rock-a‐Bye 02. Hide-and-Seek 03. Little Dino 04. Be My Valentines — random scenarios: 01. Taking Little Birdie to the Amusement Park 02. Daddy is a Kitty?

standalone fics & scenarios

— fics: Sunday Reset i'm on the run with you, my sweet love — 《 MDNI 》 — random scenarios: Risky Pregnancy + Deaths of Mother and Child Risky Pregnancy

sweet little snowdrop

Stories about Zayne and his three-year-old son. status: ongoing indefinitely // updated sporadically 01. 12:30 PM Checkup 02. Carrot Cake 03. Doctor's Note 04. Keep It Icy

standalone fics & scenarios

— random scenarios: Risky Pregnancy + Deaths of Mother and Child Risky Pregnancy

pretty little coral

Stories about Rafayel and his three-year-old son. status: ongoing indefinitely // updated sporadically 01. The Deep Sea 02. Whale You Love Me Forever?

standalone fics & scenarios

— random scenarios: Risky Pregnancy + Deaths of Mother and Child Risky Pregnancy Decorating Nursery

bright little starlight

Stories about Xavier and his two-year-old daughter. status: ongoing indefinitely // updated sporadically 01. Time-Out

standalone fics & scenarios

— random scenarios: Risky Pregnancy + Deaths of Mother and Child Risky Pregnancy

fly little pilot

Stories about Caleb and his two-year-old son. status: ongoing indefinitely // updated sporadically 01. Apple of My Eye

standalone fics & scenarios

— random scenarios: Risky Pregnancy + Deaths of Mother and Child Risky Pregnancy Endless Summer Sweet Little You

[MISC]

standalone fics & scenarios

— random scenarios: When U Come Back (Caleb/MC/Zayne)

BREEDING KINK (MDNI)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) baby making time yes i'll probably get to the others eventually it depends on my demon, i mean my muse........

SYLUS

— light breeding kink Relentless Conqueror want me, need me, love me — intense breeding kink Elysium birds of a feather (series) 01. but if it's forever, it's even better 02. it was always you 03. epilogue (coming...eventually) Bride of the Dragon King (series - in epilogue only) 01. Prelude 02. Bride of the Dragon King (coming soon) 03. Epilogue (coming soon) — random scenarios: Horny Tribal!Sylus Thoughts

ZAYNE

— random scenarios: A Polite Doctor Lesson Learned (?)

RAFAYEL

PLACEHOLDER <3 WILL HAVE THE FISHIE BREED US WHEN I AM LESS OF A COWARD ABOUT WRITING SPICY RAF LOL intertidal zone does make me want to help repopulate lemuria i mean what

XAVIER

PLACEHOLDER <3 BLORBO BY PROXY THE MAN THAT YOU ARE devs i want to suck his thumb (and his cock)

CALEB

PLACEHOLDER <3 THE 3-PART CALEB BREEDNG KINK SERIES OF MY DREAM WILL COME TRUE EVENTUALLY

All Love and Deepspace fanfics are posted only on Tumblr (@starmocha) and AO3 (loveppears (108am)). They will always be cross-posted to one another. Stories are prohibited from being posted elsewhere and I do not allow translations of my works under any circumstances. Reblogs are ok and encouraged! ♡

Thanks for reading! ☆

╰┈➤ RETURN TO MAIN MASTERLIST

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Not a Word 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You live a life in hiding, away from your father and the world, until a man decides to drag you into the light. (non-verbal reader)

Characters: Captain Syverson

Note: Happy Monday.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You can’t hear your father’s voice anymore. You stand at your door, listening for any sign of life. It’s not him you want to avoid, though he’s rarely happy to see you, but his company. You’re pretty sure they left but not entirely. You feel asleep working on your diamond art. 

You can’t wait much longer. You have to pee so bad that you can feel it in your throat. It’s late. You’re sure you’re alone. 

The door hinges scrape like they always do. You hate that noise. You tiptoe down the hall, towards the yellow blare of the kitchen light. You turn into the bathroom and shut the door. You sigh as finally you get your release. 

You flinch as you stand up and pull your elastic waistband over your hips. The hollow metal tink of a metal can sounds from outside. It could be your dad. That would make sense. He probably got up to get water or another can of beer. 

You wash your hands and go back out. You head towards your bedroom without a look in the other direction. The grizzly pronunciation of your name draws you back. Your eyes round as you scuff to a halt. 

You turn to face the burly man at the end of the hall. “Did I wake you?” Sy asks. 

You gulp and shake your head. He’s one of your dad’s coworkers from the shop. He comes over with a six-pack and they sit on the porch to enjoy it. Or they linger in the kitchen and play cards. 

As the shadows shroud him, he looks even bigger than usual. You’ve only ever seen him from a distance. Usually he’s sitting down. Maybe you just never noticed how gigantic he truly is. 

He flips on the hallway light and you blink. His dark beard adds to the squareness of his jaw and his shaved head has dark stubble in a deep peak on his forehead. His blue eyes sparkle despite his naturally fearsome posture. 

“I just got your daddy to bed,” he says. “He should be just fine. You check that he’s on his belly tomorrow morning.” 

You nod again. He does the same. He doesn’t appear frustrated as your father. He seems almost intrigued as he stays there, scratching above the collar of his tee. 

“You okay?” 

You nod. 

“Checkin’, ya know? It’s late. Dark can be scary, huh?” 

Yes, your head bobs in agreement. 

“Right, well, you have a good night. Let me know if ya need anything in the morning. I put my number on the fridge.” He taps on the door frame and turns away. 

Most of your dad’s friends or the same. They don’t pay you much mind. You prefer that. You’re not one for chatting. That fact irks your father to no end. You just stay out of his way, and his friends’, and hide in your room. 

You wait until you hear the front door. Then you go to lock it as Sy’s footsteps clamour on the porch. You stay there, his headlights shining through the window as his engine rumbles to life. The gravel crunches as he reverses out and steers off into the night. 

You go around and shut off the lights. You take your time in the kitchen tidying up the beer cans. You wipe the counters quickly and rinses the dregs off your fingers. You leave the light on so you can find your door. 

You shut yourself in and go back to bed. You leave the small lamp on next to it and turn your back to the glow. You yawn and close your eyes. 

Another night. It’s a bit sad that the best part of your day is going to sleep. Your waking hours aren’t very interesting. When you’re not doing the chores or the cooking, you’re in there, busying yourself with something meaningless. Nothing you do will ever make a difference; not for you or anyone else. 

That’s why your dad hates you so much. You can’t blame him. There’s no jobs out there for someone like you. You tried and all you got for it was embarrassment and a new slew of insults. 

You cross your arms over the top of the blankets and sigh. When you lay in your bed, you can be anything. Behind your eyelids, you can’t paint pictures more gleaming than those etched in the small plastic diamonds. You could be a princess or an actress or even just someone normal. 

What keeps you awake, isn’t your dreams. It’s the dread of the inevitable. Once you fall asleep, you’ll have to wake up again and face bitter reality. 

🩶

Your dad’s snoring rocks you through the walls. The house is small. You hear a lot more than you like. Often, you leave the old Casio radio playing on low to gloss over the cricks and cracks and groans. 

You get up, knowing better than to wait until he does first. If you have the coffee waiting, it will appease a fraction of his temper. With a hangover racking his skull, he won’t be in the best of moods. 

The dead heat of summer roils through the house. Your dad has an AC unit in his bedroom window but it’s not big enough to do much beyond his door. He keeps that closed most days anyways. On the cold days, he also keeps the small electric heater locked away with him. 

You change into a pair of loose linen capris and a plain tank top. You don’t go anywhere so you don’t dress for any occasion. Most of your clothes are akin to pajamas, or nothing more than. 

The machine is old and dingy. No matter how many times you descale it, it keeps that yellow stain in the plastic. You snap the lid shut and flip the red button so it lights up. Dad says once it stops turning on, he’ll waste money on a new one. 

You get yourself a glass of water and wait. It’s early still but his alarm won’t let him sleep in. As it goes off, you keep busy.  

There’s a slam and a grumble. Your dad stirs violently and his door hits the frame as he swings it open. He lumbers out as you pour him a mug. He belches and ignores you. You put it on the table as he turns down the hall and goes into the bathroom. He leaves the door open and you hear his stream piddle into the toilet. 

You ignore it and turn back to your task. Breakfast. It’s the same thing every day. You do his eggs, sunny side up, toasted Wonder bread, and six strips of bacon. The smell soon has your mouth watering. The chair scrapes the floor loudly as he drops into it heavily. 

He slurps loudly behind you as you put together his plate. You set it before him and he wiggles the empty mug at you. You take it and pour him another from the carafe. 

A car door snaps shut. You wince. You didn’t hear an engine, but you’d been too swept up in cooking. You give your dad his refill and go to check the front window. 

“Is it that mailman already?” He hollers. 

You shake your head, even knowing that he won’t see.  

“Don’t know why I fucking ask,” he snarls. 

You watch Sy jump out of his truck. While the axle is high, it isn’t very treacherous for a man his size. He kicks up gravel as he steps around the door and shuts it. You back away as he heads towards the house. 

He clomps up the steps, thump, thump, thump, and you jitter as he approaches the other side of the door. You wait until he knocks before you answer it. You peek out through a single inch of space. He grins. You don’t think he’s ever smiled at you. You assumed he never did at all. 

“How’s the old man?” He asks. 

You blink and let the door open a bit more and give thumbs up. As good as he’ll ever be.  

“That’s good,” he drawls. “So...” 

His eyes drift down, just a little. You squirm. Your shirt feels thinner as you stand there. Your nipple poke into the fabric and you hug yourself awkwardly. You remember you asked your father for a bra once. He laughed and you never brought it up again. You try to stick to loose clothing. 

You point over your shoulder then make a gesture as if you’re holding a fork and scooping. 

“Having breakfast, that’s nice.” 

You don’t have enough for him. You’ll wait until your dad’s at work before you sit and have your single slice of toast and peanut butter. 

“I already ate, in case ya worried,” he assures. “Was just comin’ to make sure I didn’t give him too much sauce.” 

He laughs. His booming humour makes your flinch. Your brows pop up and he quiets. 

“Sorry, I know, I’m a loud one, huh?” He snorts, “I don’t mean ta scare ya.” 

“I told ya, she don’t say shit,” your father growls into a yawn. You step back and the door opens all the way as you press yourself to the wall. He saunters forward in his boxers and tank top. “No point goin’ on like that when she probably don’t even understand.” 

“She understands me,” Sy avows confidently. “After a night with your drunk ass, it’s a breath of fresh air to have someone not yammer on.” 

“You’re the one brought me the piss,” your father retorts. 

“And you didn’t complain when I did,” he counters. “Wanted to see if ya were going to make it in today. Just in case I gotta finish up Dubeau’s clunker.” 

“I’ll be there,” your father sneers. “Why don’t you go and get it all warmed up for me?” 

“You’re a prick, Don,” Sy huffs. 

“What? No, you can’t see it,” your father covers his crotch and you blanch, looking away embarrassed. 

“Don,” Sy rebukes, “there’s a lady.” 

“It’s my daughter, dammit. She’s too stupid to get it,” he spits. “Hey, you, go on, kitchen’s a mess.” 

You nod and avoid looking at the other man out of embarrassment. Your father is crass, sometimes even at your expense. And he knows you can understand him. He must. You do everything he tells you too. 

“Well, then, I’ll see ya round,” Sy calls, though you only realise he’s talking to you as your dad changes the subject to some tail pipe. 

You stop and peek back. Sy watches you over your dad’s head. You give a wave, just a tilt of your hand, then continue into the kitchen. 

You can’t help but be thankful for the interruption. Sy’s boisterous intrusion offered a buffer between you and your dad’s hangover. You wash his plate, cutlery, and mug, before you move onto the pots and pans you used to cook. 

You can hear your dad barking outside at Sy. The other man responds with a deep rumble. Are they arguing? 

The front door swings open, “hey, girl,” you dad whistles, “more coffee. Bring some for this lump.” 

You take the order in stride. You don’t have enough for two cups, maybe half of one. You start a new pot and wait. When it’s finished, you dry your dad’s mug and pull out another. You carry both to the front door and elbow through. 

You hand one to each man as they stand by the porch railing. Your dad takes his gruffly, spilling some on your fingers, but Sy thanks you. 

“You didn’t even ask if he wanted sugar or cream,” your dad chides. You give him a startled look. He snorts. “How’d ya do that, huh? Maybe blink your eyes real big.” 

You frown at his mocking. Sy exhales and you back away. Now you have two men annoyed with you. You glance over at the bigger of the pair as he stares at you. You should’ve thought of you. Coffee is bitter, it’s why you don’t drink it. 

You point to his cup and he shakes his head, “coffee’s fine,” he insists, “I’ll have something sweet later.” You nod and retreat. You turn your back to them and step inside. Before you close the door, you hear Sy, “you know I take my coffee black, Don. No needa to give the girl a hard time.” 

You shut it before you can catch whatever snide remark your father tosses back. You know he won’t take kindly to being told what to do, especially if it’s to do with you. Or because of you. You’ll hear it all later, you’re sure. 

[asmolvaporeon]

Reminder: Nintendo Network Shutdown and Discontinuation of Online Services for 3DS and Wii U

It's going to happen on Monday 8th April, 4pm PDT. That's just a few days from now.

What this entails for following games and software (amongst other):

Pokémon: No more online trading and battling on Pokémon XY/ORAS/SUMO/USUM. So get those last trades in!

Splatoon: No more online battles, which is the main part of the game.

Mario kart Wii U: Obviously no more online races.

Nintendo Badge Arcade: Will be completely unusable. I recommend people to go over their badge box and carefully sort what they want to keep, as those badges will stay on your system. Everything else will be lost.

Animal Crossing New Leaf: No more visiting each other's towns. However the QR code designs should be unaffected. You can still create and read those.

Animal Crossing Happy Home Designer: I'm quite sure that you won't be able to upload or see other people's creations.

here are things I'm unsure of:

Friend list: You cannot add friends through the internet (I think, I have no confirmation for this)

Spotpass: Will not work. I unfortunately don't know much about Spotpass and what this means.

EShop:

-There is a small set of free themes that you can download for free right now (at least in the PAL region). I'm not sure if that will be possible later.

-According to the Nintendo website "For the foreseeable future, it will still be possible to download update data and redownload purchased software and downloadable content from Nintendo eShop." Interpret that as you want.

Other: I also called Nintendo's support to ask if it still will be possible to log into the Wii U if you use a NNID password to sign in (because I'm a paranoiac), and the answer was more or less "Yes I'm sure". Not sure how long this will last though. Most likely as long as the point above.

That's all I can remember at the moment. I'll probably add more later.

[purplekiwis]

𝑲𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆

Summary: While they're on opposite ends of the social spectrum, Y/N and Harry have been the closest of friends for years. But could it be that an all-night working session for a science project helps them break out of the friendzone?

Genre: Friends to Lovers | Nerd!Harry x Badgirl!Y/N

Warnings: SMUT | Self-Deprication | This is coming-of-age story. There's no mention of their age but both characters are in their last year of high school (just a heads up in case someone doesn't want to read because of that)

Wordcount: 10k

A/N: ok y'all, so i have made a mistake.

i was like 99% sure there was a request in my inbox asking for a blurb where harry was nerdy? i found it interesting so i started working on it... only to realize halfway into things that that was not in fact what was written in the request 😅

i figured i might as well post it anyways since i wrote it but yeah... i'm sorry, anon! i (now) know you wanted subby!harry, but all i have to give you is nerd!harry (don't worry, i made him a lil subby just for you 🤫)

also, before y'all flood my inbox with asks about the non finished fics (rightfully so) i hear you and i'm very, very sorry for the lack of updates. i had to take a break because i kept feeling like the texts i could come up with weren't good enough for the stories i wanted to tell. i still partly feel that way, but i'm hoping the lack of real harry content will inspire me to write more in the near future. thank you for reading my dumb little stories, i love you 💖

****************************************************************

Harry was never too fond of grocery shopping.

He really didn’t like the whole “put things inside the cart, remove things from the cart at the cashier, bag them, put them back into the cart, get them in the car, take them out of the car, bring them inside and put them away” process.

It was extremely inconvenient to him.

It was also very time-consuming, though Harry believed this particular belief of his was directly influenced by having to grocery shop with his grandparents every other day.

Naturally, they were slower than he was, so he'd just drag his feet behind them, push the cart and wait for them to ask him to grab something from the shelves that their aging pains no longer allowed them to reach.

That part was fine, what bore him the most was how easily they got sidetracked by trinkets that weren’t on the shopping list. Oh! And how they always managed to locate a random old person they knew from God knows where who engaged them in talks that appeared to stretch for hours.

Harry would try and make up reasons not to go with them sometimes, but he always felt a little guilty about it afterwards. After all, it was a very small favor for him to help his grandparents with their groceries, considering they had been the ones to provide him with a loving home after his parents failed to do so.

People always seemed to feel sorry for him when they found out he'd grown up without his “real parents” around, but he'd never had reasons to complain, really. Unlike his parents, Joe and Martha had always treated him nicely and made him feel genuinely loved.

They were a little overprotective at times, but like Y/N always said, that was probably because they watched too much TV.

Speaking of Y/N, Harry didn't hate grocery shopping with her so much. He even kind of enjoyed it as long as the space wasn't too crowded. That day it wasn’t, which he was extremely thankful for because it reduced the chances of them bumping into any familiar faces who might ask about his grandparents, or if the girl he was with was his girlfriend.

That’s another thing he detested about running into people his grandparents were friends with - they loved to pester him with indiscreet questions about his love life that made him go red-faced. It was even worse when he happened to be with Y/N during those times; fortunately, she was always a bit clueless about it. Harry guessed that the reason for that was that she was so comfortable with their friendship that she wasn't even aware of what was going on… even if she thought it a little odd that he kept introducing her as his neighbor even though they weren't neighbors anymore.

Despite the fact that they no longer lived next door to each other, Y/N was still a frequent visitor at Harry’s house. Ever since his family relocated to a different area of the city, it had become custom for her to spend the night whenever the two had group projects to do.

Their journey was always the same. As they got off the bus from school, they would head to the supermarket to stock up on frozen pizzas and late-night goodies to help them through the long hours they’d be spending working on their computers.

That day was no different. They'd just grabbed their pizzas, and were now wandering around the drinks aisle looking at the options.

“Do you think your grandma would notice if we hid one of these in your backpack?” Asked the ex-neighbor, Y/N. The smile on her face got him figuring she was up to no good… even before he noticed the bottle of whatever alcoholic beverage she was holding.

The idea startled him a little more than he'd like to admit. “Don’t start! And put it back before anyone sees you.”

The way his body jumped made Y/N laugh as she set the bottle back on its shelf. “Relax, okay? I was only messing with you... I knew you'd be too chicken to do it. But just so you know, they don't even ask for an ID most times.”

He replied to her with a headshake. “You're not as cool as you think just because you get drunk with your friends every once in a while.” She didn’t seem too pleased by his remark, but Harry figured that by now she ought to know he didn't mean most of what he said when he was annoyed. “You can get an iced tea… or a pepsi… or that weird-flavored soda you like.”

“Fine.”

Harry noticed that even after he allowed her to pick her favorite drink, Y/N still didn't seem particularly happy with him. She trailed behind him in silence while he pushed the cart around and didn't even appear to care when they walked past the shelf where her usual go-to snack was.

“Did you know that statistically, people who start drinking in their teens have a 5 times higher likelihood of becoming alcoholics than those who only start later?” Harry knew it probably wasn't the best conversation topic to get her to talk to him, but it was the only thing that came to his mind in the moment.

“Did you know that stating facts like that makes you look 1000 times more of a nerd than you already are?”

Harry snorted at her retort. “You didn't seem to mind me being a nerd when you asked me to work on the paper with you.”

“I do every paper with you, why should this be any different?”

He smirked at that. It was true. He and Y/N had attended every academic year together since they first met in elementary school, and they had managed to enroll in almost all of the same classes each time. They were currently in their senior year of high school, and their friendship was still pretty solid despite their different personalities and social interests.

Y/N was in the midst of a rebellious phase. In the beginning it all had been quite harmless, with her obsession with dyeing the ends of her hair crazy colors and pairing fishnets with knee socks. That somehow led her into starting to hang out with people Harry considered to be a little unnerving.

He wasn't sure what exactly made him annoyed about them... Maybe it was because he was a little resentful over having to “compete” for Y/N's attention and feared he would one day completely lose her to them, given that they were undoubtedly the cooler part of the equation. Perhaps part of it was also because those people reminded him of the kind who used to bully him for being a dork when he was younger. Thankfully, he wasn't being bullied as much anymore, but he still didn't have many friends.

He also barely interacted with girls, as one might expect. There were times he had crushes, but he was always afraid to talk to them, so things never really went anywhere. Thus, Y/N was really Harry's only female friend.

He confesses sometimes he was surprised she still wanted to hang out with him as much as she did. When she became popular, Harry naturally assumed she would ditch him for social status reasons, but that never happened, which was a big relief to him since he liked having her around.

They were both geeky, so they watched a lot of movies and played video games together... but when it came to other things, they were a little different. Y/N had a much better sense of style, was much more social, and enjoyed doing dumb things like smoking weed and getting drunk behind her parents’ backs.

Harry had never really understood the appeal of it. In fact, his lack of interest in participating in that stuff sometimes worried him a bit, but again... it wasn’t like he wasn’t curious.

There were a few times when he thought it would be cool if he could hang out with Y/N and her friends, go out drinking, dance, and maybe, just maybe, if he was very very lucky, even get to kiss someone on the mouth.

But then he always ended up reasoning that people like him weren't welcome at parties and that if he ever dared to step foot into one he'd probably end up being the butt of everyone’s jokes.

Even knowing so, he couldn't help fantasizing about it… especially the last part. Yes, Harry definitely thought about intimacy a lot more than he'd ever be willing to admit… and he also pondered a lot about how being practically invisible to girls sucked… and about how much he wished one would give him a chance.

He was aware of his issues, however. He knew he wasn’t exactly the hottest guy around. His haircut and clothing were out of style, mostly because he lacked the confidence to mess with his looks and follow the trends the way other people did. He’d buy new t-shirts sometimes; the only thing was that they almost always had gaming-related designs which obviously didn't do his style much good.

But it wasn’t all bad. Harry knew he had nice eyes… he just couldn't get the girls to come close enough to notice them. He figured the way he stared at the floor when he walked, along with the thick glasses he had been wearing since childhood had also taken part in preventing people from noticing how green his eyes were.

He thought Y/N had nice eyes as well, and he liked the way she accentuated them with make-up… even when her eyeliner turned out a little uneven or got smudgy because she forgot she had it on and rubbed her eyes with her fingers.

She'd been doing that a lot in the last hour they'd been working on their paper, which was making Harry feel a little bad.

Normally, by that time in the evening Y/N would already be working on her part, but as they'd started later than usual, she wasn't. Also, being the control freak he was, Harry always wanted to be the one in charge of the research portion of any papers they worked on. Leaving the final task of writing and flourishing to Y/N.

So the poor girl had been sitting next to him for hours, watching him go through articles on his laptop.

Harry could tell by the increased frequency of her yawns that her battery was running low, so he wasn't the least bit surprised when he heard her hesitantly ask, “Are you planning on staying up much longer? Aren’t you getting tired?”

“Um… not really. I found this really cool essay and want to make sure we gather all of their data.” He was so preoccupied with copying and pasting that he didn't even look away from the screen as he replied to the question. “It's a shame we don’t have any hot springs nearby... wouldn't it be cool if we could collect samples of these microbes and study them in the school lab?”

“Are you for real?” She looked at him like he was crazy as she let her back slide halfway down the bedframe. “Do you really find these stupid water microbes that interesting?”

“Not all of them, it’s just that I’d never considered that there could be some growing and thriving in actual boiling water… since, you know, that’s what’s supposed to kill them.” Due to the silence that followed, Harry realized that despite Y/N's efforts to keep him company, she was moments away from falling asleep. “Should I go get the air mattress to make your bed?”

“I can't sleep. I haven't done my part yet.”

“It's fine; we still have the entire day tomorrow to finish.”

“Don't bother with me if you’re focused on the paper. I just need to close my eyes for a bit, but I won’t fall asleep.” She promised, but Harry knew better than to believe her. “Do you mind if use your covers? Your room’s a bit chilly.”

“No, not at all.” He didn't mind it, in fact, he even found it a little exciting. Not in a pervy way, but it felt good to know that a good looking girl would be using his bed and leaving her girly scent on it. Harry tried not to dwell on those kinds of thoughts over Y/N too much, but of course he thought she was hot. He wasn’t that blind.

He hadn't always felt that way. For a long while Harry just thought of her as his best friend, but she'd grown into her curves in the last couple of years and he would be lying if he said his eyes and mind didn't occasionally wander. He felt a little bad about it, but it wasn't like he was ever going to do anything other than fantasize, so he supposed it was alright… as long as she didn’t catch on.

Truth be told, he’d always liked Y/N’s personality, but as of recently her looks and the way she dressed had also made her the type of girl he was attracted to on the outside. Yes, it was always the girls who wore alternative clothing and scowled a lot that caught his eye.

He was aware that his preference sounded extremely stereotypical coming from a shy loser like him, but it wasn’t like he could help what he was keen on.

“Is the entire chapter on Volcanic Islands really necessary?” She asked, leaning further into him so she could see the laptop screen despite being laid down.

“I'm not sure if it's necessary, but I thought we should at least mention these two islands since they keep coming up.” He could feel her sigh of defeat on his arm. “It’s already halfway done. I've already gotten all the info about Iceland… now all that's left is this tiny archipelago in Portugal.” With that, he rushed to type the final location on the Google search bar but was taken aback by Y/N's chuckling. “What are you laughing at?”

“Do you not know how to delete your browsing history?” She asked him, still laughing.

Harry's brows furrowed slightly, but he smiled along. “Huh, why? Seriously random that.”

“Random, really? I may only be half awake, but I can still see.”

“See what?”

“See Pornhub come up on your suggestions when you started typing Portugal.” Harry's face dropped instantly. Then, with a harsh slam, he shut his laptop lid. He could feel his entire body tensing up as a burning wave swept across his face, hotter than he'd ever felt before. “Harry, relax!” Y/N remarked when she saw him like that. She seemed rather worried about it as she clung to his arm and shook it. “Hey, look at me, this isn’t a bad thing. You don't have to-”

Before she could say anything else, Harry covered his face with his sheets and muttered, “Yes it is. It’s embarrassing.” Honestly, even that felt like a tame word to describe how he was feeling. This was, hands down, one of the most awkward circumstances he’d ever been in. He wasn't prepared to deal with it, so he chose to remain hidden and avoid further conversation.

He knew he'd have to come out at some point, but he couldn’t bear the thought of facing Y/N knowing that she knew he watched porn and wanked. It was making him feel all kinds of yucky, which was why he was a bit shocked by what happened right after.

Y/N ventured under the sheets after him, and eventually nestled into his side. The warmth felt nice, but being so close to her was weird. He liked it, but it also made him feel worse at the same time, given that she'd been the catalyst for his breakdown in the first place and all that. Plus, he still couldn't wrap his head around why she wanted to touch him when he felt so icky.

Despite the fact that they were right next to each other, it took a while for one of them to venture breaking the silence. By the time Harry tried, he had a dry mouth, so he had to swallow first. “I know it’s not your fault, but I'd honestly rather you hadn't said anything because knowing you saw is making me feel like shit.”

His faltering whispers seemed to stun Y/N a little, as if she'd already accepted that they wouldn't be talking for the rest of the night. “There's no need for you to feel that way… especially with me.” She returned his hushed words. “I wouldn't have said anything if I knew you'd get like this. I was just joking.”

“I know, but it still bothers me.” Harry was a little surprised by how at ease he felt speaking in quiet whispers while hiding under his covers. For some reason, talking to Y/N in this setting wasn’t as mortifying as he'd anticipated. “And just to be clear, I have no idea how that ended up in my suggestions. I always use incognito mode for that stuff.”

He couldn't see her, but he could feel her shrug. “You must have forgotten to open a new tab. It has happened to me before.”

“Oh. So. You watch it too?”

“Doesn't everybody, at least once in a while?”

“I don’t know… I suppose they must, yeah.” They both fell quiet for a bit, but not for longer than a few breaths as Harry felt the urge to clarify something. “I don't want you to think I'm a perv, though. I don't watch it all that often… not the kind of stuff that you’re probably thinking I watch, anyway.”

“What do you think I think you watch?”

“I don’t know, like… cringy, scripted porn… you know, the usual “oh no, I’m stuck!” stuff that shows up on the main page.”

“Um… I’ll be honest, you’ve always came across as more of a Hentai guy to me. And before you say anything, this isn't just me calling you a weeaboo. I've watched my share too and overall, I think it's much better than that other stuff you were talking about.”

“Yeah, fine... I'll admit that I like Hentai, but it’s not all I watch.” Harry wasn't sure why he felt so keen on sharing all of a sudden, but weirdly, he was kind of enjoying their conversation. He found the topic interesting, and he'd never had the chance to discuss it with anybody in person before so… it was fun. And, on top of that, Y/N was disclosing a bit too and he liked that he was getting to know this part of her as well. “Do you know what audio porn is?” She hummed and nodded yes. “Cool, so, there’s this category called ‘guided masturbation’ that’s basically just girls talking and like... telling you what to do. There’s no visual content really, but it has a very real feel to it that I like... almost as if you're on the phone with someone.”

“That's interesting, actually. I always thought that audio porn mostly for women, since, you know... everyone says men are visual creatures.” She shifted her weight slightly, turning towards him. “But you still find naked girls hot, right? the sight of them?”

“Well, of course. I’d be worried if that wasn’t the case.” Her question struck Harry a little, but he liked that she was acting curious and asking him things. “Honestly, I think the reason why I don't watch more regular porn is because I can't picture myself living out the fantasies. I don’t know, it’s weird to explain.”

“You can’t picture yourself in a sexy plumber costume ready to unclog a hot milf’s pipes?”

Harry snorted. “You're joking, but that's pretty much what it is.”

She hummed as she drew closer to him on the bed. This time her, placing her head into the crook of his arm. Her mouth was closer to Harry's ear in this position, although he wasn't aware of this until he heard, and felt, her whisper again. “Is that why you like to hear girls telling you what to do? because you're a bit unexperienced?”

Harry wasn't usually one to cuss, but shit. Hearing her whisper that somewhat snarky question so close to his ear struck a chord with him. It was freaking hot and kind of reminded him a bit of the audios he liked. Obviously, it wasn't as explicit, but it was better in many ways. A huge downside to the experience, however, was that it was extremely difficult to concentrate afterward. In fact, in the midst of his thoughts, Harry almost forgot to reply. “Um… I guess? I’m sorry, I kind of forgot what the question was.”

“No, it’s all good. I’m sure you must be getting tired.” With that, Y/N crawled out from under the covers. As she did so, her hand stumbled onto Harry’s toppled over laptop. “Oh, I didn’t even notice this was here. We should probably turn it off, right? Assuming you don't want to keep working after this.”

Harry also came out from hiding and sat up in a position similar to hers, with his legs partially covered by the covers. As his eyes re-acclimated to the brightness of the room, he massaged them a little. “Sure. I’ll just need a moment to, uh… make sure the file got saved properly, if that’s okay.”

Taking advantage of his temporary blindness, Y/N snatched his pillow from his side of the bed. She tucked it under herself and slid back under the sheets. “I've got a comfy bed right here so… feel free to take as much time as you need.”

He smiled at her antics as he readjusted the laptop over his legs and opened it. Turns out the file had been autosaved, but Harry still saved it once more before switching off his computer and setting it over his desk. “Yeah, that's fine. I don’t mind giving you my bed for the night and sleeping on the air mattress for a change.”

“Or you could spare yourself and sleep right there instead of worrying about which one of us will be sleeping on the floor.”

Her offer caused his eyebrows to rise, but he wasn't sure if that was a good thing to do. He liked the idea of it but was a little concerned about accidentally doing something embarrassing in the middle of the night. What if he made a toot? Or worse, had a wet dream? He hadn't had any recently, but one never knew when it might start happening again. In any case, he'd probably wake up with a stupid morning wood as usual, which was something that he could typically make go away before he got up when Y/N was around… but if she was going to sleep next to him, wasn’t there a chance she could tell? That prospect made him terrified. “Um… I'm not sure that I'm a good sleep partner; grandma says I used to move a lot in my sleep when I was small.”

“Oh. I don’t mind. I just don't feel like sleeping by myself tonight for some reason.” Y/N shrugged, leaving him unsure of what to say next. It was already difficult to say no when it wasn’t what he wanted to say, but it became nearly impossible when he looked at her and met her begging eyes.

Well then, if she was being so casual about it, he figured it must not be that common for people to do humiliating things in their sleep, contrary to what he had previously been led to believe by his insecurities. The other factor that was pushing him to say yes was that having to get up to grab the air mattress from the attic and make Y/N a bed sounded a little too demanding for how lazy he was feeling. His bed wasn't even tiny either, so they'd have plenty of room to spread out without troubling one another throughout the night. “Ok, alright. But don't grumble tomorrow about having trouble falling asleep because of me. This was entirely your idea.”  

“I don’t grumble.” He made sure to let her see his eyeroll before turning off the lights and getting into bed with a second pillow for himself. No one said anything for a bit, they were just adjusting their positions in search for the most comfortable one. Harry was still wide-awake, but he believed it wouldn't be long until Y/N fell asleep. She was already close to when they were working on the paper, so it shouldn't take long at all.

She proved him wrong, though, when she blurted out something after minutes of being quiet. “I have another question for you...”

“Oh. What’s that?”

Harry saw a shadow that he believed to be her head poking up from the pillow, propped on what should be her arm. Her voice sounded quite chirpy too, which meant he’d probably underestimated how awake and willing to chat his friend actually was. “Have you ever… like, kissed anyone?”

“That’s so random.” It was during times like these that Harry wished he could travel back in time. If he could go back and pretend to be asleep two seconds ago when Y/N asked if she could ask him a question, he wouldn’t even hesitate. Heck, he'd even pretend to snore if it meant not having to respond but alas, since Harry didn’t have any time travel abilities, that wasn’t an option. She knew he was awake and was anxiously awaiting his response. “You're quite random sometimes, Y/N...”

Her voice was hushed, yet a little taunting. “That’s not an answer.”

Harry sighed, realizing she wasn't going to let him off the hook until he participated in the discussion she wanted to have. “Alright, then… define kissing... does something like a peck qualify?”

“No, Harry. I'm talking about actual kissing. Tongue and all.”

“Oh um. I knew that, obviously.”

“And did you do it or not?”

“Yeah I, uh. I've kissed...” His words stumbled slightly. They didn't come out as cool or confident as he’d hoped, but he did try to make his statement sound plausible. “But it wasn’t with a lot of tongue... just like, a little bit.”

Y/N let out a snort at his unconvincing answer. “You’re a shit liar, but fine. I used to lie about it too when people asked me.” Rather than defending himself, Harry didn't say anything, which told his friend all she needed to know. “Is it something you think about, though? would you like to do it?”

“Well, yeah… of course I’d like to. Even some of the guys I hang out with have done it... and you’ve seen them.” Harry felt a bit mean making that remark about his friends' looks. Obviously, he wanted them to have someone who liked them, but that didn’t change the fact that none of them had much going in terms of physical appeal. “I'm not saying this to make you feel sorry for me. I know I’m the problem and that the reason why I haven’t kissed yet is because I’m not a kissable person. My only hope is that things will change once we start college. I don't know if I ever told you before, but I've been thinking about switching to contacts. I was also thinking it could be nice to exercise a bit just so clothes would fit me better. What do you think? It should help, right?”

Even in total darkness, Harry could tell that Y/N's eyebrows were deeply furrowed by her tone of voice. “Who was it that told you you weren't kissable?”

“Nobody needed to tell me. I see myself every time I look in the mirror. I dress like my grandpa and have a bit of a hunch like him too.”

“I think you're mistaking being unattractive for wearing clothes that aren’t particularly flattering. It's very different.” Harry knew she couldn't see it, but he was kissing his teeth at what she’d said. “If the reason why you want to make those changes is to feel better about yourself, then you have my full support… I do, however, have a feeling that’s not all it is, so I hope you realize that you don’t have to bend over backwards to be likable or kissable, or anything else. You already are all of those things exactly as you are.”

“I appreciate you sugarcoating things to make me feel better but if what you are saying were true, and I was fine the way I am, I wouldn't have this much trouble finding someone who saw that in me.” He sighed, a little annoyed by her efforts. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s hard for me to believe you’ll ever understand what it feels like to be me. You’re like... the coolest, most kissable girl ever.”

There was a slight click, and suddenly the room got soaked in an orange light that caused Harry to squint despite his familiarity with it. His bedside table lamp was on, and Y/N was staring at him in awe. “You think I’m kissable?”

Crap. Had he really blurted it out that way? He couldn't recall the precise words he had used, but it seemed unlikely that Y/N was asking him that for no reason. She looked very taken aback by what she’d heard, and Harry, who still hadn't a clue how he’d managed to put his foot in it yet again, felt his face turn red and his tongue stutter once more. “Not in a weird way! Maybe I phrased it in a way that made it seem like I was being weird, but it was just a form of expression. Not that what I said isn’t true, but I would never say it like that. Even if I wanted to kiss you, which has never crossed my mind, really.”

“Hm.” Y/N’s gaze was drawn to her hands as he finished. Harry observed that she was picking at her nail polish, which was rather unusual for her unless she was nervous. “Is it really that ridiculous? I mean, if you wanted to, I wouldn't mind...”

His forehead wrinkled. “Why? Because you feel sorry for me?”

“No Harry, because I'd like to.”

“Me? You’d like to kiss me? Why?”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.” Her tone was a little hesitant, but she carried on. “Aff, okay… screw it. I might as well tell you since we’re talking about it. So, I, uh. I have a bit of a thing for you. I’ve had it for a while, but it was never serious… since well, I never really felt like there was a real possibility that it could be reciprocated. That’s why I didn’t tell you sooner, that and because I wasn't sure how things would turn out if you rejected me so… I figured it would be best not to say anything.” She shrugged once more, as a small smile formed on her lips. “You’ve also never mentioned having any crushes or being into anyone, so I thought maybe you weren't interested in that type of stuff much.”

“Yeah, right.” Harry rolled over in bed, facing away from her. It wasn’t unusual of Y/N to play practical jokes on him from time to time, but this one did not go over well with him. It seriously screwed with his self-esteem and since it was her, he could have easily been tricked into admitting something he'd end up regretting. “I know you’re taking the piss and I don't think it's funny, like, at all.”

“Why would I be taking the piss? Do you really think I'd joke about something like this? And look at me when I'm speaking to you!” She pulled on his shoulder, compelling him to lie onto his back so she could at least see his face.

Harry complied with her, but not without a groan. “I'm serious Y/N. If you’re trolling, this is your one chance to say so ‘cause If I find out later that you were doing this to see me make a fool of myself or to get me flustered, I'm going to get really, really angry at you.”

“I may play a lot of dumb jokes, but I don't play with people's feelings like that… let alone my friends' feelings. I'm dead serious, Harry. It's really not that hard to see it if you think a little.” She huffed, upset that he wasn’t taking her seriously. She'd guessed he’d act a little wary at first but hadn't expected him to think she was pulling a prank on him. How could he have missed that she had a thing for him anyway, with how touchy she was when they were alone together? With her acting so eager to be his first kiss? She'd been shit at hiding it for years. It was so clear. “Do you remember when we were kids... my parents took us to a fancy playground by a lake and... there was a girl there who had a Nintendo but wouldn't let me play with it, she would only let you, so I snatched it away?”

"Yeah, I remember.” As he replied, Harry was unable to stop himself from letting out small laugh at the memory. “And then you threw it in the water because you'd heard from someone that Nintendo’s were waterproof. Your parents got so mad, and she wouldn't stop crying. It was awful.”

“Yeah, that. Except, I never really thought that they were waterproof. I did it because she was nasty... and it made me upset that you’d left me to play on the slide alone.” Y/N admitted, also laughing and shaking her head a bit at her childish antics. “I didn't know back then what being jealous was, but I think about that day sometimes... it makes me feel embarrassed obviously, but it also makes me realize that I've always been really possessive of you. I think if you'd turn out to have many girlfriends I would have realized much sooner that my feelings for you weren't just friendly ones.”

“Wow. Was that really what that was?” Harry was stupefied and Y/N couldn't not giggle at his open mouthed reaction. “I’m sorry, it’s just… this whole thing is really confusing. My head is spinning a bit and... being completely honest, part of me still thinks that you’re joking but at the same time, you seem serious enough so I’m gonna choose to believe you. Even if I have no idea why you'd like me that way, other than maybe ‘cause I'm tall.

“The hair too. Don't forget your fluffy hair.” She added playfully. “No but, even though I like those things, they aren’t the reason why I like you. I just do. There’s no logical explanation for it.”

“Yeah, um. That makes sense. I mean, not really but I think I understand that feeling you were describing and… I can kind of relate to it too since I've kind of had a small crush too since last year… or well, I've realized last year... back when you were dating that Joshua guy. It made me jealous. I’ve always thought it was silly though, so I tried not to think about it too much.” Harry acknowledged, albeit doing it with more trepidation and delay than Y/N had. “I've had other crushes too, but they were on girls I never talked to so... they didn’t last too long.”

“Wait so… you’ve had a crush too? since that long?”

“I- uh.. I have. Yeah.”

“You must be really good at hiding your feelings then, because I never noticed anything that suggested that, much less that you were jealous. Trust me, if I had any inkling I would’ve had this conversation with you last year instead of doing what I did. I didn’t even like Joshua much… I just wanted to have someone.” She pursed her lips in a mournful smile before reaching out for Harry's hand. It wasn’t the first time that their hands had brushed, but this time something in Harry's chest was sparked by her touch, making him feel both ecstatic and stiff at the same time. “It's nice that you've had other crushes, though. I think I'd be more upset if I found out you'd been caught up on me all this time and I'd just been completely unaware of it. With that said, I don't want you thinking about other girls now. Only me.”

“Yeah, okay. Just you. I like how that sounds a lot.” Harry had no idea what had possessed him, but he felt compelled to bring her hand to his mouth and kiss it. His gesture made her giggle, but he got somewhat self-conscious afterwards. “Was that lame? Probably, right?”

“No, it was cute. I liked it.” She reciprocated by lifting his hand to her mouth and placing a kiss over his knuckles. “Is there anywhere else you’d like me to kiss?”

With a tentative smile, he gave her a direct glance before nodding. Y/N scooted a bit closer to him but as they got closer, Harry's body tightened a little. He couldn't take his eyes off her lips, yet the sight of the rosy, fluffy cushions was giving him pause. “I’m sorry if I’m not… uh… if I don’t know how to...”

She gave his cheek a comforting caress. “That’s fine, but are you okay? You’re shaking a bit.”

Harry laughed, feeling rather frustrated with himself. “Yeah, um… sorry about that. I'm just really nervous.”

“It can wait if you're not ready.” Y/N made a point of assuring him, even though she had a feeling that waiting wasn't what Harry wanted. He was just nervous, which was totally normal for someone who was about to get their first kiss. The most she could do was try to make him a bit calmer. “Is there anything specific that you're worried about?”

“No, I’m ready. It's just a bit overwhelming. This is all so alien to me… it’s a lot for my nervous system to handle.” Y/N couldn’t not frown a bit at how adorable he was as she listened. “I- I'm also a little in over my head, thinking I probably won’t be as good as the boys you've kissed before.”

“You don't have to worry about that, really. Trying stuff until you figure out what makes the other person melt is the most fun part.” She assured, before giving his hand another kiss. “We’ll learn that from one another, okay?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

Upon his approval, Y/N pulled herself closer and higher, until her face was barely above his. They both smiled as she rubbed her nose against his... once, twice, and then it happened. She dropped her head just enough for their lips to touch.

Her tenderness and Harry's stomach-bursting butterflies were in stark contrast, making for a bizarre, yet fascinating combination of sensations.

They weren't quite in time with one another's lips but their kiss was free flowing. And it felt flawless, akin to a Vivaldi concerto or a Michelangelo masterpiece. There was something alarming about it too, however. Suddenly, Harry could feel the relatively insignificant seed of love that Y/N had planted in his heart blossom into a giant sequoia tree. And he couldn't, for the life of him, fathom the possibility of having shared a moment as nice with anyone else.

He was truly loving whatever love spell she was casting on his body with her kissing, which is why he couldn't help but let out a low whimper when he felt their lips unglue from her pulling away. “Why did you- why did you stop?”

“Your glasses are getting in the way.” She explained as she carefully started pulling them off his face. “Here, much better.” As soon as she was done placing his glasses over the nightstand, she raised her leg and straddled him. Well, sort of. It was more of an embrace; except she was laying on top of him. “This is okay, right? Not too much pressure?”

“Mh-mm. Better. Thank you.” Harry's face was flushed, and he couldn't stop smiling as he stared at her. She was so pretty, and her body over his felt so cozy. It was still hard to believe he had kissed her, but the tingle on his lips confirmed it was real, despite how uncanny it all felt. “I like this a lot, being this close to you.”

“Me too.” She ran her fingertips across his blushing skin. “You're so cute like this. I should’ve kissed you way sooner. You seem to like it too, don't you?”

“Mh-mm. I really do.” Harry desperately wanted more kisses from her, but he was still a little too unsure of himself to initiate. Besides, he’d really liked when she took initiative earlier and led the way so that’s what he wanted to happen again. “I’d like to do it some more, if that’s okay...”

Y/N smiled at his request, but wasted no time before she leaned in to taste his lips again.

It was mostly just smooches that they were trading, but that didn’t keep her from taking a nibble here and there. Harry was very responsive to her nibbles, which she appreciated. She’d never been with a boy who got whimpery and breathy just from making out before, but she found it to be incredibly encouraging and arousing.

What made it extra hot was knowing he wasn't doing it on purpose because he knew girls liked stuff like that. It was just how his body was reacting to her. She was also well aware that her kisses had gotten him bricked up instantaneously. His warm stiffness was palpable between her thighs, despite being covered by his pajama bottoms.

If it had been any of the boys she’d kissed before, the erection would have freaked her out a bit, but as it was Harry she thought it was cute that he was so excited. He wasn't the only one feeling this way though. The damp panties she had on served as a casual reminder that she was getting quite excited as well.

Despite her wants, Y/N had been doing a great job of controlling herself… only that task became much more challenging when Harry started getting more comfortable, more intuitive, and by default, touchier. At some point in the course of their kissing, he’d started sliding his hands up her back and, on occasion, giving her hips a squeeze. He'd noticed she was pleased by this, so he worked up the nerve to lower his hands to her bum and squeeze her there too.

“Not feeling so shy anymore, are you?” Y/N playfully teased, to which Harry responded by smiling and hiding his face by pulling her in for a hug. It hadn't been her intention to rub up on him, but he’d drew her in so close that their bellies were flush together, so when she shifted next he felt it on his crotch… and moaned, all deep and throaty. They stared at each other, until Y/N turned her mouth to Harry's ear and asked, “Do you want this? want me to do it again?”

His nodding was quick. “Just don't go too fast, ‘cause uh... might feel too good.”

“Okay, got it.” She said, then held onto the pillow under Harry’s head, nails digging into fabric as she began to move slowly on top of him. Rolling her hips to press down on the bulge in his pants. The pressure on her clit was both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, it was a relief to finally have a way to sooth some of the built-up tension, but on the other, it made her yearn for more friction.

She could feel his heavy, strained breathing against her skin. “Mm, it's too much, feels… too good. Ah-” He moaned again, once her fingers gripped at the roots of his hair.

“Shh, quiet.” Y/N covered his mouth and smiled. “I love your moans, but we have to keep it quiet.” She said, before removing her hand from his mouth and putting her lips in its place.

“I know, sorry.” Harry replied once she broke their kiss. “If I get loud again, you can repeat that hand thing if you want… it was hot.”

“Hmm, was it?” She returned her hand to his lips, but this time she allowed two fingers to go inside and prod into his mouth, that he was keeping slightly ajar for her. “That’s good, Harry. You're a natural at this, I think.” She had been straddling him with her body leaning over his, but she sat upright for a moment to appreciate how adorable he looked with her fingers in his mouth from farther away. As soon as he saw her eyes fixed on him, his lips encircled her fingers, and his tongue began to softly wriggle between them. “Mh-m... that's it. Just like that.”

As she started moving her hips again, Harry's hands shot to her waist, to hold her as she rutted against him. This gave her more balance, so she ramped up the pace, rubbing harder and faster to create the desired friction for her. The change caught up with Harry quickly, who began groan restlessly into her fingers in response. She pulled them off to let him speak. “S-slow... please go slower. If you don't, I'll-”

“Make a mess. I know. Give me your hands.” As per Y/N’s request, Harry slid his hands away from her waist and held them up between their bodies. Y/N took them, entwined their fingers together and then without warning, allowed her weight to fall forward, successfully pinning him to the bed. “I know you want to, but you're ashamed about doing it in your underwear. So, I was thinking… if I keep you like this and force it out of you, maybe you won't feel so bad about wanting it anymore. What do you say?”

“I just don't want to get you dirty, that's all. I thought I could keep it under control a little better, but I can't. It feels so much better than my hand.” Harry acknowledged, smiling shyly. “That sounds hot, though… the idea of you forcing it.”

“I know but don't worry about getting me dirty. I brought extra pjs.” She gave him a reassuring smile and squeezed his hands. “So…you want to do it, then? Since you think it’s hot…”

A delaying groan rumbled in his throat before his lips parted into a broad smile, the kind of smile you make when you’re on the verge of breaking into laugher. “I’m going be so embarrassed about this tomorrow, but yeah. I want to.”

Y/N shook her head at him, grinning. “Don't. I've always wanted to do this. It's a bit of a fantasy of mine, I guess.” She didn’t give him a chance to react to her confession, as she started rutting against his cock again. This time she wasn’t being gentle or avoiding any harsh friction. Her movements were quicker and jerkier than they had been before, and she tightened her hold on his hands as well. She had a hunch Harry liked the feeling of being held down and used, so that's what she was doing.

He was shivering beneath her, taking fast breaths through his mouth as he looked her in the eyes. The poor baby couldn’t stay quiet for the life of him, either. His whimpers and groans were unrelenting, so she was bound to muffle him once more.

His now-free hand joined hers over his mouth, but it didn’t linger there for long since he took hold of her wrist and started guiding it downward. “My neck,” He pleaded lowly, his voice trembling. “…want your hand on my neck.”

She gave him a devilish smirk before grabbing his throat. She only needed to hold him still; there was no need to squeeze or do anything else. “And I want your cum,” she told him, hoping that slipping in a few dirty words in combination with her movements would make him snap. “…want to get all wet from it.”

Harry’s legs jerked beneath her. “Close,” He warned, a little startled. “So, so close…” The fact that she could not only hear him but also feel his words on his throat as he spoke was incredibly arousing. “Please…” He pled sweetly, what triggered a sudden desire in Y/N's chest to be closer. She released her hold on his throat and hugged him tight as she drove her hips into his, rutting violently to make him orgasm.

It worked.

Between her thighs, Y/N could feel his warm juices seeping through the material of their pajamas. So she kept rutting, wanting to make sure she had extracted every last drop of them.

Harry returned her tight hug all the way through his climax, and he didn’t let go after either. They remained in that position for a while, holding each other close regardless of the slightly unpleasant wetness that was binding them together. “We should probably change right?” Y/N asked after a beat, despite her lack of want to wrest away from him.

“M-hm. I’m all gross and sticky.” Harry laughed. “I’m gonna need another shower in the morning, but for now, I think I'll just wipe it off and put on new boxers. I mean if you don't mind that I don't wear pants to bed…”

“No, I don't mind. I'm gonna take mine off too.”

“Oh. That's a great idea. Sounds perfect to me.” Harry playfully quipped, before he got out of bed and started opening drawers. “Also, um… I don't know how to ask without being weird, but could you close your eyes for a moment? so I can take care of myself real quick?” Y/N said yes and turned away to give him privacy while he cleaned himself and changed. She was a tiny bit surprised that he hadn't wanted to use the restroom for that, but she figured that since it was closer to his grandparents' bedroom at the end of the corridor, he probably didn't want to risk going and waking them up. “Okay… you can look now.”

When Y/N looked at him next, the first thing she noticed was that he had on a pair of tight, black boxers. The next thing she noticed was that Harry was looking at her legs, since, as he’d probably seen when he turned, she had also stripped off her pants in the interim, leaving just her grey panties on. “What?” He smiled in response to her curious gaze.

She wouldn’t bring it up, but she could see he had grown a little hard in his boxers just from seeing her sprawled in bed with no pants on. “Nothing, you’re cute.”

Harry snorted at that. “Thanks, but you're much cuter.” He wandered across the room to where the supermarket bags were. “Are you thirsty? Do you want water or a snack? ”

“Hmm, just water if that’s okay.”

Harry handed her the water bottle and sat down on the bed next to her while she drank from it. “You didn’t cum…” he pointed out after a moment of pause.

“Oh um… yeah. I didn’t. It’s okay though.” Y/N laughed, shrugged, and took another sip of her water.

“Hmm.” Harry hummed, before scooting a little closer to her. “It must be a bit of an unpleasant feeling, no? and hard to sleep like that.”

“It is a little until it goes away but nothing that I can't handle.”

“Hm.” He hummed again, before Y/N cocked her head to kiss his lips. She’d only meant to give him a peck, but Harry changed her plans when he leaned in to kiss her deeper. He seemed really eager to continue kissing and well, she wasn't about to say no to him. Especially when he went so far as to nibble on her lip, which he hadn’t done before. He was also getting handsy with her, and she loved it. He was touching her more and focusing on the spots he'd learned she liked.

“That,” She blurted, as she paused to catch her breath. “That feels really nice.”

“M-hm.” He murmured against her lips as he kissed her again. His hand continued to grab at her as they kissed, to the point where Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. She hadn’t meant to but ended up moving her knees apart out of desperation. Being so blatant almost made her feel ashamed, but she didn't because she felt Harry's palm wrap over her crotch. In response to his touch, she moaned into his mouth, and he moaned back, surprised at how her moisture had soaked through her panties. “Teach me.” He asked, softly. “I want to learn. I- um, want to make you go to sleep happy.”

“That’s so nice, Harry, really. I, um-” She smiled while wiping the tears forming in her eyes. “I’m already happy.” She didn’t know what was making her so overwhelmed with joy all of sudden. She’d always known Harry was boyfriend material, but it was still nice to see how much he gave thought to her needs and happiness. And she was happy. So, so happy to finally have him like this, all to herself. “Do you want me to show you how to touch?”

“Yes please. To make you feel good.”

“Okay.” She placed her hand on top of his. “Here,” she explained once she’d guided his fingers to the spot of her panties right above her clit. “Circular motions with your fingers feel really nice, so does pressure. You don't have to focus on just that spot though… the nicest feeling is when you rub there but also all over.” She glanced at him, then bit her lip and asked, “Wanna try?”

“Yeah, alright.” Harry responded, adjusting his position slightly so that Y/N could get more comfortable. They decided to have her sit between his legs, facing away from him since that would make it easier for her to lead him. Once they’d both settled, Harry began to touch her in the way she had showed him, moving his hand broadly enough to reach a little bit everywhere in between her legs. “Am I doing it right?”

“Mm-hmm, you're doing really good.” Y/N was still holding his hand while he touched her, and she was fascinated by the size difference between their hands. “Your hands are really big, which... makes it feel extra good.”

“Really? That’s nice. I'm definitely grateful for that.” He said while looking down as well. “Should I put more pressure, or is it okay as it is?”

“It’s fine but I wouldn’t mind a little more...” She could tell he was afraid of hurting her, and that’s why he was being so careful and gentle in his touching. She wasn’t planning on rushing him or constantly give him directions though, so instead she simply relaxed against his chest and let him probe at his own pace. Because, after all, even though he was playing safe, she was still thoroughly enjoying herself.

It took Harry a few minutes to figure out how much pressure and speed he should be using, but eventually he pressed and swirled his fingers around her sensitive nub in a way that felt just right. When Y/N’s breath faltered he glanced at her worriedly, what made her chuckle. “No, don't worry. You didn't hurt me. Keep going like that.”

Harry smiled at that. He’d had a feeling he was starting to get the hang of it due to the way Y/N’s breathing had become more erratic and she'd begun to quiver against him on occasion but hearing it from her mouth that he was doing a good job was much, much better. He was really looking forward to making her cum. She looked so good like this, flushed and a little out of breath. She'd been staring at his face a lot from over her shoulder in the last couple of minutes, biting her lip and letting out little gasps of pleasure to let him know he was making her feel good.

“Like that. Don’t stop.” Those quiet, whispered words snapped him out of his reverie. He knew what they meant, even before she told him, “I’m really, really close.”

He'd learnt from a meme he saw once that when girls said that, boys weren't meant to speed up or change what they were doing in the slightest. So he merely focused on adding a bit more pressure, since that was something he knew she liked, and trying to keep his hand's tempo.

Despite how hot he found it, Harry wasn't very comfortable with dirty talk, but seeing her like this and recalling the perfect, filthy words she'd said to him just before making him cum, he felt compelled to give it a shot. “I can feel how wet your panties are, it’s so hot.” He whispered into her hair. “I can smell it too and it makes me want to eat you so bad. I've never done it before, but I can't stop thinking about doing it to you.” Rather than trying to sound hot, he was simply stating facts about how she was making him feel, and somehow it was working. “I wanna make you cum like this first though. From rubbing it this way, like you taught me to.”

Harry's words, paired with the precise movements of his fingertips around her pussy got Y/N right at the edge. She trembled, clutched his wrist, and strained to keep her legs open.

“Please, please, please...” She started begging out loud right before the warm pleasure bubble on her belly popped, so Harry did the same thing she’d done to him and muffled her by putting his free hand over her mouth.

He hadn't anticipated being able to feel when a girl orgasmed, but he was. He could feel the strong pulse under his fingers as soon as Y/N started to cum, and it was one of the hottest things he’d ever experienced. He could also feel the damp spot on her panties becoming even wetter as he rubbed her through it and God, the smell… it was making his mouth water.

If she didn’t look so exhausted, Harry would have begged her to let him take off her panties and lick her clean, but those puffy, glossy eyes didn't permit his mind to stray any further. If there was one thing Harry understood about Y/N, it was how she looked just before falling asleep, and that was exactly how she was getting.

So he helped her into bed and laid down beside her, but his heart wouldn't let him fall asleep before he asked, “You’re staying for the entire weekend, right?” and his ears picked up a faint “M-hm” in return.

This was going to be the best weekend ever.

**

[makeyoumine69]

Till Death Do Us Part | Ch. 9

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Patrick Bateman x Fem!Reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: After a failed vacation in the Hamptons, you and Patrick put your "relationships" on pause until your families decided to raise the stakes.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: Romance & Angst, Arranged Marriage Trope, Enemies to Lovers & Love/Hate Dynamics, Corruption and Innocence Kinks, Implied Misogyny and Objectification, Reader and Patrick Were Childhood Friends.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: 3.5k

𝐀/𝐍: Hey! It's been a while, and I hope everyone who's been waiting for this series to be updated will enjoy this new chapter!

𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒: [Ch.8]; [SERIES M-LIST]; [Ch.10].

Almost a week later, you couldn't stop thinking about the night you and Patrick almost had sex. Although the two of you hadn't spoken since your failed vacation in the Hamptons, your mother, Janet Rice, figured Patrick was probably busy working on Wall Street, so she invited you back to the family home and told you to focus on work. Being a nurse was pretty hard, but it helped you put the past events out of your mind for a while. If only your family knew that you were not bothered by not having any contact with your future husband, on the contrary, you were so damn happy not to hear, see, or interact with this man.

As a result of all this, your life seemed to get much better in the last few days.

Until today.

Because today there was an important charity dinner at your family's estate, and of course Bateman and his parents were invited. This news stressed you out so much that you decided to stay in your room, convinced that all of this was not just a coincidence, but a well-crafted plan of your beloved mother. Of course, that woman was capable of such things—everyone who knew her well was aware that Janet had the traits of a cunning vixen—and setting up an arranged marriage between you and Patrick was originally her idea. Besides, you didn't know how you would act around the Bateman family with all the information Patrick had recently told you about his father constantly cheating on his mother. You also remembered that they were divorced and it was really strange that they decided to appear together at an upcoming event. However, they probably just wanted to keep up the perfect image before their son's wedding, even though Linda Bateman hasn't been feeling well the past few years.

As the final arrangements for the dinner were being made, a sudden knock at the main door attracted everyone's attention, and Janet immediately sent the maids away, saying that she would see the guests herself. When she opened the heavy front door and saw the Bateman family, the elegant old woman was more than happy to see them all.

"Oh, hi!" Mrs. Rice exclaimed, gesturing to welcome them. "Please, come in!" Patrick Bateman and his bloody rich parents—Linda and Thomas Bateman—entered the house under Janet's scrutinizing gaze. "I trust the journey here was smooth and pleasant?"

The heels of Patrick's Italian leather shoes clicked against the marble floor as he stepped into the grand foyer of the Rice estate, his eyes sweeping briefly over the lavish interior. The chandeliers were polished to a perfect shine, the air thick with the scent of expensive flowers and aged wine. His parents followed behind him, his father giving Janet a polite nod while his mother flashed the kind of smile that was more for show than sincerity. Linda Bateman, dressed in an designer evening gown that cost more than most people's annual salaries, barely glanced at the decor. She had seen it all before.

"The ride was acceptable," Thomas Bateman replied, his voice clipped but cordial as he handed his coat to the waiting maid. "Though I must say the traffic on Fifth Avenue is an absolute nightmare these days." His tone suggested that he found it personally offensive.

Linda sighed softly and waved her hand as if the topic had bored her. "We hope this evening will be worth the trouble." Her eyes glanced around, searching, before returning to Janet. "Rebecca, dear—where is she? I assume she's dressed appropriately this time."

Patrick remained silent, his grin faint but ever present as his eyes scanned the gathering guests. The usual crowd was here—men in overpriced suits, women draped in jewelry they barely understood, all pretending to care about charity while secretly competing to see who had the most influence. It was all so boring, but you... you were nowhere to be seen, and that was intriguing. With a soft, perfectly controlled smirk, the man adjusted the cuff of his Valentino suit, letting the conversation between his parents and Mrs. Rice wash over him like background noise. He had expected you to be waiting—nervous, fidgeting, anticipating. And yet you made him wait instead.

That wouldn't do.

Janet, ever the gracious hostess, gave a small laugh, though there was a hint of discomfort behind it. "Oh, I'm sure she'll be down soon. She's just... getting ready."

Hiding his hands in the pockets of his suit, Patrick arched an eyebrow but said nothing; his mother, however, let out a small hum of disapproval.

"She understands the importance of tonight, doesn't she?" Linda's gaze sharpened, though her smile remained perfectly in place. "This is her future, after all."

Bateman let his grin widen just a fraction. Oh, Rebecca, he thought, amusement curling through him. You really should know better than to keep me waiting.

Meanwhile, you were still locked in your room and you knew that Patrick and his parents were already here because you had seen their limousine drive through the gates. And it was only a matter of time before your mother would show up to throw a tantrum, so you had to hurry up and finish your look for tonight. As you turned in front of the mirror, you were wearing a long, tight black dress that hugged your curves. The makeup was not really bright, it was nude but very stylish. As soon as Mrs. Rice appeared in the doorway, you were ready.

After a several minutes, the two of you came downstairs and entered a small room that was your father's home office to see him smoking a cigar with Patrick and Thomas Bateman while his ex-wife boredly explored the interior. Patrick looked up from his drink the moment you entered the room, his smirk widening slightly as his eyes swept over you—the dress you wore clung to your body in a way that demanded attention, accentuating everything you probably thought you were trying to hide. But Bateman wasn't blind—he knew exactly how men's eyes would follow the slope of your waist, the way the fabric stretched over your figure.

The young man exhaled through his nose and set his glass down with a soft clink against the polished wood of the desk. His father and Peter Rice were still engaged in whatever dull conversation they were having earlier, their voices a low murmur over the faint hum of classical music coming from the record player in the corner. His mother, of course, barely noticed your presence, too busy inspecting the decor for any sign of bad taste. Patrick, however, let his eyes linger.

"I hope we haven't kept you waiting long," Mrs. Rice chirped, pushing you forward; the moment you met Patrick's gaze, you felt your face heat up almost instantly. "Anyone want another drink?"

"Oh, not at all," Patrick drawled, amusement flickering in his voice. "I wouldn't dream of complaining." He tilted his head slightly, watching your reaction. Before anyone else could respond, he stood and adjusted the red tie that gracefully encircled his neck with a slow, deliberate motion. "I'll take another scotch," he murmured, his eyes never leaving yours. "And something warm for Rebecca."

It wasn’t a suggestion.

His father barely looked up from his cigar and waved a dismissive hand. "Bring me the same," he said, exhaling a thick cloud of smoke into the air.

Peter Rice nodded in agreement, already reaching for the bottle of whiskey on the desk. "Linda?" he asked politely, but Patrick's mother just shook her head, uninterested.

No one really cared about damn drinks.

As for Patrick, he was much more interested in you. So he gradually closed the space between the two of you, his movements smooth and unhurried, his fingers lightly brushing the small of your back—just a whisper of contact, just enough to remind you what his touch COULD feel like.

"You've been avoiding me," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, just for you. "I wonder why." The man was close enough now that you could feel the heat radiating from his body, the scent of his cologne mingling with the faint aroma of whiskey on his breath, his fingers ghosting over the fabric of your dress.

But his mother's voice stopped him before he could go any further. "Rebecca, dear," Linda called out, finally turning her gaze to the two of you, her expression unreadable. "I hope you've made the necessary preparations for the trip. It would be a shame if you weren't ready."

A chilling shock washed over you like a bucket of cold water. "A trip? What-"

"Bali, you and Patrick are going to Bali, please don't pretend you've forgotten," your mother suddenly chimed in, her face nothing but a perfect mask of fake cheerfulness as she continued to polish the smooth surface of the desk with a small piece of cloth. "Becca can be so distracted sometimes."

Bali? Really? It sounded like a bad joke or a nightmare.

To be isolated with a man like Patrick Bateman. Hell, no. It was too much even for a patient person like you, and you had already reached your limits, constantly giving Patrick chances he never really tried to use in a good way.

But what choice did you really have?

None at all?

Again?

Embarrassed, you took a moment to answer, feeling yourself nervous with all the attention focused on you. "Uh, of course, yeah, I'm prepared," you finally replied, and your mother immediately nodded, as if she was watching your every move. Then you turned to Patrick, stood on tiptoe, and whispered. "I haven't been avoiding you. You have. You didn't even call me. Not even once. Bali was your idea?"

But then you were carelessly interrupted by your father, who poured three glasses of the fine scotch for himself, Patrick and Thomas. "I would like to propose a toast to our beautiful children, and I hope that their union will soon bring us an heir!"

At a loss for words, you stood paralyzed, almost motionless, praying that your father would not bring up the subject of children this time. Stunned and confused, you watched your mother smile as if this was one of her insidious plans.

"I can see they're going to have a beautiful boy," Janet said, sitting next to Linda, who was surprisingly happy. "A boy and a girl!"

On the verge of starting a fight, you turned away from Patrick and rolled your eyes. "Mother, please. Stop it!"

Patrick could hardly restrain himself from rolling his eyes as well. Of course, that was what this was all about. The whole damn point of this engagement—this arrangement—was to consolidate their families' wealth, their power. And what better way to do that than by securing the next generation?

Patrick's mother, always the picture of grace and calculation, let out a satisfied hum. "A boy and a girl," she mused, twirling her wine glass between long, manicured fingers. "How charming."

Bateman's smile widened, but there was a sharpness to it now. He turned slightly, just enough to look down at your profile as you looked away from him, your face practically painted with anger and irritation.

Adorable, really.

Grinning like the most devious of villains, Patrick raised his glass and took a slow, measured sip of Scotch, letting the warmth spread through his chest—he paused just a little too long before speaking, his voice as soft as silk. "Well," he mused, tilting his head toward you, "Since we're making predictions, what do you think, darling?" His intonation wavered slightly on the last word, teasing, testing. "A boy? A girl? Or are we aiming for twins?"

Mr. Bateman's chuckle rumbled through the room, deep and approving. "Now that would be something."

Satisfied with his little show, Patrick exhaled through his nose, amusement flickering across his features. "We'll just have to see, won't we?" He raised his glass again and took another sip, deliberately slow.

Linda Bateman finally turned her full attention to you, giving you a look that was both scrutinizing and expectant. "Rebecca, sweetheart," she said, her voice like perfectly tempered glass, "I hope you're not planning on working too much once you're married. A nurse's schedule is so... demanding."

Bateman chuckled, watching you carefully, studying the way your posture shifted, his fingers again lightly brushing the small of your back, just a fleeting touch. "Come now, Mother," he murmured, voice laced with feigned sweetness. "Rebecca is a modern woman. I'm sure she can handle both...responsibilities." His thumb traced a slow, deliberate line along your spine before he withdrew his hand completely to pick up his drink again. "Don't you agree, Dove?"

God, no, not that nickname again. You wanted to scream, but you couldn't. "I agree," you replied curtly, taking a glass of wine your mother gracefully offered. "Thank you."

Janet patted your shoulder, almost affectionately. "Speaking of twins," she smiled even wider. "My sister has twins, and my aunt has twins. Do you remember that? So there's a great chance that you'll have twins, too. Isn't that amazing?"

And now you really didn't know what to say when Patrick's big palm suddenly found yours, squeezing it a little, and you instinctively lifted your eyes to look at him, the man smiling at you with his brown eyes without saying anything. The warmth of his skin sent a jolt of electricity through your system, making your heart skip a beat—you hated yourself for being so weak against his charming magic—the corner of his lips curled up a little from such long eye contact. And you didn't even notice that the two of you had been staring into each other's eyes all this time, as if under a spell.

"Yeah...that's amazing," you replied, finally breaking eye contact and taking a sip of red wine. "But I hope no one expects us to have kids so soon?"

The way you said it—cautiously, carefully, like tiptoeing around a landmine—only made his grin wider.

Linda tilted her head slightly and took a measured sip of her wine before casting a knowing glance at you. "Oh, darling," she purred, her voice soft but not really friendly, "expectation has very little to do with it. Things happen... naturally."

"Especially since you two seem to be getting along so well lately," Janet added, her tone light but with that unmistakable edge of maternal satisfaction.

Patrick felt your fingers twitch under his own, your hand was small in his, delicate, warm, but tense. The man squeezed it once more—just enough for you to notice. Just enough to keep you on the edge.

Peter Rice let out a booming chuckle and raised his glass. "Let's not put too much pressure on them just yet," he explained, though his grin suggested that he absolutely wanted pressure. "After all, they have their whole lives ahead of them. Isn't that right, Patrick?"

Bateman, who had been watching you from the corner of his eye, finally turned his attention back to the conversation. He lifted his glass lazily, swirling the amber liquid before taking a slow sip. "Of course," he muttered, his voice perfectly relaxed. "Plenty of time."

Linda raised an eyebrow at her son. "That almost sounds like reluctance." She mused.

Patrick chuckled, deep and soft. "Not at all," he lied. "Just enjoying watching my fiancée squirm."

The room erupted in polite laughter, though the sharp look Patrick's father gave him suggested he knew his son was playing a game.

Still, they seemed pleased enough, and Janet, ever the optimist, was already turning to her husband with a pleased smile. "Well," she chirped, "let's not overwhelm them. Tonight is supposed to be a celebration!"

Patrick leaned in slightly, his lips barely moving as he murmured against your ear. "You should have called me so I could have warned you," he purred, so quiet that only you could hear him. "But I like this better—watching you tremble with shock."

Then, with another gentle squeeze of your hand, the man released you, stepping back just enough to put distance between the two of you, but not before dragging his fingers lightly along your wrist, just to maintain the tension that glowed around your elegant figure.

Biting your lower lip from the rising anger, you wanted to rip that smug grin off Patrick's face in front of your dear family and future relatives.But the man seemed to calculate the situation a few steps ahead, and you didn't even have time to react when you felt his warm lips against your tender cheek.

"Relax, darling," Bateman leaned down and brushed his nose against your temple. "You'd love this little escape," his voice deepened, taking on a threatening tone. "Imagine, just you and me, and no one else around. I think we still have a lot to discuss and... finish."

Annoyed as hell, you turned away, almost hitting his nose, but you didn't care if he complained. "You don't know how far from reality you are."

Janet noticed the tension between you and Patrick faster than you could really make something unpredictable and what would definitely ruin the evening irrevocably, so she decided to act up and get everyone's attention while she still could. "I think it's time to share some big news," she looked up at her husband. "About the wedding gift."

"Oh, right," Peter rubbed his hands and stood up to approach you and your fiancé. "We've been thinking about the wedding gift for a long time, and we decided the best thing to do would be to buy you a penthouse in Upper Manhattan." Mr. Rice put his hand on Patrick's shoulder. "So the kids will have plenty of room. And... I hope you will take good care of my girl, Patrick."

And that was the last straw for your patience.

"Don't you think this is too... fast and... overwhelming for me?" You lost your composure and raised your voice without any remorse. "Why has no one asked me what I want?" You began to back away slowly until your back hit the wooden door behind you. "It's just not fair..."

The room fell silent, the polished hum of conversation suddenly stopped as all eyes turned to you. Mrs. Bateman's expression barely changed—just a slight tilt of her head, a flicker of scrutiny in her gaze. Patrick's father remained seated, taking another slow drag from his cigar, as if this outburst was nothing more than a minor inconvenience.

Peter Rice frowned, his hand still resting heavily on Patrick's shoulder. "Rebecca," he sighed. "This is a good thing. A penthouse in Manhattan isn't something to be overwhelmed by—it's an opportunity."

Bateman's classic grin wavered for a second before returning in full force, sharper this time, more amused than anything else. It was almost funny. Because really, did you still cling to the illusion that your wishes or desires mattered in any of this? That you had any say in how this was going to play out?

Linda Bateman took a slow sip of her wine and finally spoke in her perfectly controlled, dismissive tone. "Oh, darling, you're overreacting." Her eyes darted to Peter and Janet, as if to say "control her" without actually saying it. "This is what's best for everyone. For you. For Patrick. For both of our families."

The young man turned slightly, his grin deepening as he let his piercing gaze settle on your face, watching the way your breathing quickened, the way your fingers curled against your dress. "You sound surprised," he murmured, his voice low and deliberate. "Like you really thought you had a choice in any of this."

Peter chuckled, though there was a slight stiffness to it now. "Enough of this," he said, waving his hand. "Let's not turn this into a debate. We're celebrating." He stepped toward you and placed a paternal hand on your shoulder, though there was an unmistakable weight to it. "This is your future, sweetheart. You should be happy."

Linda Bateman nodded in agreement. "She'll get over it," she said nonchalantly, as if this were all a small hassle, a minor tantrum to be overlooked. "She's just overwhelmed. That's all."

"Hey," Patrick intercepted smoothly, his voice cutting through the air like a blade. "We better avoid any stress before our trip." He exhaled, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair before slipping one into the pocket of his suit. "Becca's not a child, after all."

Peter Rice hesitated, glancing between you and Patrick before he let out a short sigh and stepped back. "Of course, of course," he raised his hands, giving up with forced ease, though his jaw was tight. "I just wanted to make sure she understood how much we all put into this."

Patrick let out a small chuckle, but there was no real amusement. "Oh, I think she understands perfectly." His hazel eyes met yours again, something dark behind them. "Don't you, Dove?"

Your mother clapped her hands together and forced a smile. "Well!" she exclaimed, trying to change the subject. "We should get back to the main hall—the guests are expecting us."

Linda rose gracefully from her seat, smoothing the fabric of her dress. "Yes, let's not keep them waiting."

After a quick survey of the surroundings, Patrick remained where he was, unmoving, watching you under the dim glow of the chandelier. "Shall we?" He murmured, holding out a hand to you. Not forcefully. Not demanding. Just there.

A silent dare, and you still had a choice. Or at least you could pretend you did.

P.S. I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my writing community or my side-blog to know when I update!

[stu-dyingstudent]

Sakura Haruno fic recs: ANBU

AHHHH!!!! I love ANBU fics, especially when they involve Sakura. It was such a cool concept, which was unfortunately never fully expanded upon. However, our lack of knowledge regarding the shadow corps allows for some really cool fic ideas since authors can take creative liberty on the structure and workings of the division.

In my opinion, Sakura had the most potential out of team 7 to join ANBU (at least more than Naruto). It's all about being discreet and efficient and although she wasn't strong during og, she possessed abilities that would be valuable for this. Her clever mind, chakra control, and genjutsu potential would've made her a good fit. Naruto was too flamboyant and Sasuke was too reckless and cocky, but this is just my take. However, with her new skill set from her training with Tsunade, I don't think she would be able to go down that path anymore.

Also, try out my ANBU ROOT list (some overlap).

Started: 2024.08.06

Last Updated: 2024.08.29

note: feel free to check out my master list which has a bunch of Sakura Haruno fic recs (all organized)!

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Masks by mads999 || ao3 || kakasaku || E || canon divergent || complete

1. Sakura's Inner is far more diabolical than anyone ever expected 2. Crows prove to be cruel mentors 3. Sakura comes to learn exactly how much she hates Kakashi (as well as how alike they are, in the most terrible of ways)

Kakashi is a hateful turd and Sakura is spiteful! I hate this ship and I'm not a big fan of Kakashi here, but boy is this fic good. One of the best character developments I've read for Sakura and she certainly becomes of force to be reconned with. The ANBU lore in Masks is absolutely phenomenal and I love the whole system that is put into place as it adds for some drama (lol). Also, can we talk about how awesome crow summons are????

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Five Kingdoms for the Dead - Evil Is A Relative Term || ffn || M || canon divergence || complete

After the Forest of Death, Sakura comes to realize that being weak is no longer an option. However, she finds that change is sometimes painful and that truth doesn't always come easy. Luckily, she'll have some help along the way.

It's been a while since I've read Five Kingdoms for the Dead, but I just remember it being absolutely great! I'll be honest, I found a lot of the mind stuff pretty confusing at times, but it was still enjoyable. Also, some great characters are utilized in this fic such as Neji, Sai, and Itachi. Makes me really wish that we saw more of Sakura and Neji working together in Naruto since I think they compliment each other quite well.

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Trials of Change - Espoiretreves || ao3 || gen || time travel AU || complete

Haruno Sakura made a promise. Looking in the eyes of her Shisou and the reanimated Hokage, she took on the most important mission of her life. Go back in time and try to prevent the 4th Shinobi War. Now, Sakura is back to her 5-year-old body, with all the knowledge and haunting memories of the future. She vows to keep her precious people safe and stop certain events from happening, without altering the timeline too much. The trials her emotions and logic put her through have her questioning her very existence, but for the sake of peace, she has to push forward. No matter what.

Trials of Change is actually apart of a time travel series and I have to say that it is probably one of the best of the genre! Now, Sakura is not in ANBU here, but she works very closely with team Ro (Kakashi's ANBU team) and it's a huge part of the story, so I'm choosing to count it anyway. I really adore all of the worldbuilding and backstories going on here in addition to the fact that there are breaks. Yes, the story keeps moving, but there are other things going on, like playdates, and not just Sakura trying to save the world. Also, if you love Shisui then definitely check this out since he has a huge role and his and Sakura's friendship is just so precious.

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bite me and see, said the fly to the spider - MirrorImage003 || ao3 || itasaku || T || non-massacre AU || ongoing

In which Sakura is not initially a part of Team 7. In which she wears her failures like armor and brandishes her fears like her most trusted weapons. In which I do what hundreds of other authors have done before me, and rewrite Sakura's story. Non-massacre AU. Canon Divergent. Slow-burn.

After Sakura's first team, consisting of the graduating class's "expendables," dies, she joins team 7 and faces backlash along her shinobi journey. Sakura doesn't join ANBU until the later chapters so fair warning that there isn't too much content in that regards (unless it updates). Nonetheless, Sakura views ANBU as vital to her career as it offers her the highest clearance she can get. Gaining her opportunities for information her civilian-born status didn't allow her privy to.

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The Sixth Shadow - thinknicht || ao3 || kakasaku || M || canon divergent - eventual time travel AU || ongoing

No one seemed to find it odd when little Haruno Sakura threw herself smack dab in front of a Chidori and Rasengan. Not even Kakashi stopped to wonder.(He really should have.)

The story of how Sakura came to be the sixth hogake despite all of the challenges thrown her way. I especially love Sakura's drive in addition to the political aspects. However, be warned that Kakashi is an absolute HATER (in the beginning), but he gets better! The Sixth Shadow is extremely long and I only just recently got to Sakura's introduction to ANBU, so I can't say too much in that regard.

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Daughter of Fire - justjstuff || ao3 || kakasaku || E || canon divergence || incomplete (maybe ongoing)

Sakura got up and didn’t bother brushing the dirt from her dress. She had a feeling she was about to get even dirtier.She looked at the memorial stone one last time, memorizing the characters without even realizing she was doing it. It would serve from that moment on as a reminder of her determination. She wouldn’t let Naruto and Sasuke join the names carved on that stone.That was her nindo.

Sakura's growth throughout Daughter of Fire is great and realistic all while pointing out aspects from the original series which were flawed and dare I say misogynistic. I struggled a bit in the beginning to justify her abilities, but overall the story is really well done and the ANBU aspects are quite intriguing.

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cut the head off the snake - itsthechocopuff || ao3 || T || time travel AU || complete

when eighteen-year-old, post-war Sakura is thrown back into her tiny, pre-Academy body, she makes a decision. she'd had a childhood once already, and this time, she's more interested in Not Dying when the inevitable shit hits the proverbial fan. so she will work harder, care less, kill more, and smile when she's done.and hey, if she ends up reviving an extinct nature transformation to attract the most corrupt, power-hungry man from her timeline, all the better for her, right?

Such a unique take on a time travel AU and Cut the Head Off the Snake executes it perfectly. Sakura decides that her first order of business is to infiltrate ROOT and that's exactly what she does. Sai, Shin, and Shisui are all great characters and team Ro is present as well. Very good!

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Flowers - Idunmy || ao3 || E || kakasaku || canon divergence || ongoing

Flowers only bloom just before they wilt When Sakura loses her fight against Ino in her Chuunin exams, she questions her ability to ever become a kunoichi, too weak to protect herself, let alone her village One wrongful promotion later and Sakura gets a second chance in the shape of a mysterious new teacher who against all odds is willing to put her faith in a young girl with potential and a willingness to fight. Or- a fix-it inspired fic where Sakura grows to be the powerhouse she was destined to become.

Flowers is a newer series (which has recent updates) and I love it! Critiques are made towards the medical ninja training, which I believe needed to be discussed and it's refreshing to see. In most ANBU fics I've read, Sakura is immediately put onto the strongest team, but here it's a bit different. She begins on a demolition squad, which not only suits her skill set quite well, but is a realistic approach to how she would be introduced to the corps. Anyway, it's one of my favorite reads at the moment and I really like where the story is going.

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names. - waterpllar || ao3 || T || gen || canon divergence || complete

There are no names or faces in ANBU. Everything is designed to be strictly formal, efficient and professional. A recently orphaned Sakura, however, learns that some regulations aren't meant to be followed, and finds a place in Team Ro after being shunned from her former teammates. (fic prompt from anon on tumblr: orphaned sakura in anbu with yamato, genma, and team ro.)

AHHHH poor Sakura. After her parents' death Sakura seeks Tsunade's help out of desperation to become useful. Under recommendation, Sakura's new goal is to make it into ANBU.

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Equinox - FM_White || ao3 || itasaku || M || anbu AU || complete

ItaSaku (Post Uchiha Massacre) AU: Climbing through the ranks of Konoha, Sakura finds herself with the invitation to join ANBU and a chance to learn from one of the most renowned and legendary ninja in the world. Despite her efforts to grow stronger however, she finds the world isn't as black and white as it looks and that some truths are easier to hide than others.

I don't remember Equinox very well, but I love most works by this author sooo. Anyway, Itachi stays in Konoha and instead it's Sasuke that goes rougue. Sakura, Naruto, and Shikamaru are newly joined ANBU members and all placed on a team with Itachi and things go from there.

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stars in our eyes as we dream of the heavens (the gods walk among us, sweet child, do not forget) - snickiebear || ao3 || kakasaku || T || age-swap AU || oneshot complete

“Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto whispered, staring at his teacher, horror plain on his face. “You’re married?” Lazily, Kakashi looked down at his gloveless hand where his ring rested, “It would appear so.”

Sakura is born in the same generation as Kakashi and turns out as a badass ANBU married to him. This is super wholesome as it's a lot of the two of them bonding with Kakashi's genin team (Sai makes three) in an effort to help them out. It's a series so you can read more of the events taking place prior to the fic.

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Anachronistic Drift  - Elesrea  || ffn || gen || T || time travel AU || incomplete

Her plan was flawless. Save Shisui. Save the world. Time-travel, Sakura-centric AU

Sakura spends years training to be sent back in time and save the world from Sasuke. She isn't in ANBU, but rather poses as one in order to keep an anonymous status on her doings both in and out of the village.

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Sakura - lilac haze || ffn/ao3 || M || minasaku || time travel AU || complete

AU. Non-Canon. Time Travel. Please see inside for full warnings. Cross posted on Ao3. On his deathbed he was granted eternal peace and place to rest for all of time. Of course that was not appealing to him. Ever unpredictable to the end he had a counter offer. One that the Sage had to consider. In which Sakura's going to have a rough time. A really rough time.

Sakura is probably one of my all time favorite fics because the emotions are just spectacular. The story is pretty heavy on ANBU and ROOT aspects, which I always enjoy, but I wouldn't say it's a major focus. However, there is an emphasis on the unfair treatment towards kunoichi. Anyway, the characterizations and storytelling are beautifully done. Please share this author some love.

Check TWs before hand!!

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Hope y'all enjoy these recs, and please feel free to send me some if you have any!!!! I really appreciate when you do :)

[doyoulikethis-videogame-song]

Ask Masterpost #7 (Admin Asks) -- 3/15/2025

Maybe I should change the posting date of these to Sunday so I stop procrastinating them on Saturdays, LOL.

Anyways, this is the first edition of non-blog focused asks (fun questions, personal questions, etc), so I'm not going to write up a summary since none of this is essential information for submissions or anything like that :).

Since I'm writing it up so late in the day I'm going to post it with my answers, but Mod Rae may update it with their answers so feel free to check back! In the future hopefully I'll be able to write it up in enough time to give them a chance :').

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@foulwinter asked: Ever heard of either of Sonic CD's soundtracks? I grew up with the US soundtrack but I love both of them. I think the war between which soundtrack is silly when you look at it from the perspective of having MORE Sonic CD music

Admin: I have never been a big sonic fan, so I have no horse in this race :'). But I do agree that it's nice to have more soundtrack per soundtrack!

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@pearlhoardingdragon asked: If you had to stick with one family of consoles for the rest of your life, would it be playstation, nintendo, or xbox?

Admin: PC 4 Lyfe (I never had enough money for consoles growing up </3). I'd probably pick Nintendo though, since I like the switch and DS.

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Thoughts on Yoko Shimomura?

Admin: LOVE HER!!! I haven't played a lot of the games she has worked on but from what I've heard from her she is 🔥🔥🔥🔥

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who's your favourite villain in ffxiv?

Admin: The only Final Fantasy villain I know is Sephiroth... and I think he's cute and silly 💔

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stance on Nerdcore video game songs? (Miracle of Sound, Aviators, JT Music, etc) both as submissions and just in general.

Admin: I don't think I have a strong/opinion-worthy stance on any genre of music, because all music that I like regardless of genre is good music. Simple as.

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Would you say you've gotten fulfillment out of starting this project? I remember you have it posted somewhere that you started this blog because you wanted to listen to new music, so what's it been like? Any favorites that stand out?

Admin: Yes!! This has been really fun and ESPECIALLY so since I finally figured out some things to help me maintain it without messing with my insane schedule within the last few months. I definitely need to make a proper list of my favorites but I think my most favorite song that I discovered 100% from submissions alone is #212, Tenebre Rosso Sangue from ULTRAKILL. (this wasn't an anon ask, but I forgot to write the blog name before deleting the ask to clear it from my inbox... </3)

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what is your favourite kind of bread, actually?

Admin: Any flatbread!!!!!! Pita bread, naan, roti, and especially tortillas <-- put it in my mouth

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out of every song posted, do you have a least favourite? if so, what?

Admin: The Ao Oni chase theme (#125) because it scared me.

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thank you for all your hard work hosting this blog. question: has it been fun to discover so many songs through the blog? the level of variety is really cool. out of curiosity, how much of the music would you say you have personally already known before they were submitted?

Admin: I'd say I've probably only heard 5-10% of the songs submitted here before :'). But that just means that this blog is highly effective at helping me find new music!

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my favourite kind of results are what i like to call the penis results. it usually happens when "like it/first time hearing it" gets the lead while "like/sounds familiar" and "don't feel strongly" take like 10-12% each. are there any specific poll results that you've found particularly interesting for any reason

Admin: 1. I'm calling that phenomena penis results now and 2. #689, which has the highest 'Like and Familiar' result of any song at 49.60%. The average % for this category is 19.19%.

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Have you ever gotten a submission on this blog that you’re disappointed more people don’t know?

Admin: EVERY NIER SONG EVER!!!!!!!! GO PLAY NIER REPLICANT RIGHT NOW IT IS 60% OFF UNTIL MARCH 20TH.

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Do you have a series you expected to get a lot of requests for, but haven't?

Admin: There's surprisingly few Persona requests, which I expected to be more popular. There's also one song in particular (not from persona) that I'm surprised I haven't seen yet (not naming it, I don't want to invite inorganic submissions!)

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what is your favorite piece of music outside videogames?

Admin: This is hard because my favorites are pretty much always changing (other than the one song I listen to obsessively multiple times a day, of course) and I can never pick just one anyways... I think I'd have to go with (as of writing this) 'With All Its Complexities' by Kyoumeni from her album 'And Then I Woke Up.'