#I will keep the rest to the tags cause I must speak about my love

[torturedbrat]

PLSSS CAN YOU DO A BILL FICTION INSPIRED BY ONE OF THEIR MUSIC VIDEOS?? YOU CAN CHOOSE WHICH ONEEE

IT WOULD BE SO COOL<3

— 1st Chapter: Love don't break me.

"I need to get home, but I keep on holding on."

★ Fem!reader x Bill Kaulitz 2016

★ Tags: Angst, fluff.

| Summary: Bill and his girlfriend have been going through different rough difficulties in their relationship for a long time now, they both know it's useless to keep being together. None of them tried to do anything about it till he decided to put an end to it.

• Bill narrates;

I can't believe I'm here again. I want to hold her and tell her that we'll be okay, but I don't know how cause even I don't know the answer to that.

I look around the dark room, the blinds shut, I predict it's around 2 in the morning. My arms are around myself, unable to move after another successful fight; this time seeming worse than ever, after reproaching each other about every stupid little thing there is in the book.. even though this time they weren't just a few misunderstandings—It was much more than that.

I furrow my left eyebrow, once I hear the faint sound of her sobs in the background, hitting my eardrums. I hate seeing her cry, she knows that well, as much as I also know how I shouldn't cave in. But she's already scooting closer to me, wrapping her arms around my body loosely, tightening even more the second I tried to move.

My head fell to the front, a few of a blonde-platinum strands of hair pushed to my face. I sigh as she tries to comfort herself while in touch with my skin, 'Please, don't.' She mutters as she feels how I'm starting to stretch out my limbs to stand up this time, a thing I can't get through with because my body simply won't respond.

But I'm angry, so why are my arms moving around her, why are my eyes filled with tears when I keep hearing her say over and over how sorry she is? Maybe I don't really want to go.

Why can't my heart and my head work at once?

I open my mouth to speak, her face is buried on the back of my neck, and so are my fingers in her hair when I reached out to finally touch her. 'Why do we do this?' Is everything I manage to say—I can't understand how we've gotten to this point; The fighting, the aggressive make-up and when you think you're done, more fighting again.

I want to tell her that I won't be here forever, laying on her bed—completely wrecked and thinking about all the times we've been okay together instead of living the moment. And I've got a feeling that she doesn't want to be stuck in this back and forth for much longer.

But how will we move forward? we still love each other, there's no doubt, and even if we've been told that our love is gross, we'd always managed to prove them wrong.. this time we'll make it again, right?

She looks at me, untangling herself from the grip she's had on me before—I've got a feeling that she knows what I'm thinking about by the way she's shaking her head at me. 'Don't say you're gonna give up on me.' The look on her face said it all; regret, even fear, dispair... everything at once—like she expected the worst.

But I didn't say anything, I didn't dare. I couldn't get my mind to work, everything oh so overwhelming. Till her voice pushed me off my trance. 'Say something!' It was only natural she would react like that after getting no reaction out of me, so that's when I finally managed to push myself on my feet, looking around for the shirt I discarded earlier god knows where before this argument started, to slid it back on.

'I'm tired of fighting.' I said, bitter tears still stinging the corner of my eyes as I put on the rest of my clothes, pacing around the room to pick everything up, anything that I must be forgetting to grab while I make the feint of leaving.

I sniffle from my nose, and from one moment to another she's standing up from the bed, looking completely hysterical, not even bothering to put her shirt on as she tried to get ahold of me, eyes closing tight.

'You can't leave like this..' She said again, trying to change my mind, but this time I can feel myself getting a little bit of impulse, ready to leave it all behind. The black eyeshadow that I know is staining my under eyes, I wipe it off with my knuckles.. now I'm the one who's shaking his head. I can't listen to her this time, If I keep doing so I know I'll never leave. I know I'll never run free from this golden cage that we named love.

'I'm sorry, It's over.' And I didn't even stutter this time, It felt like I've been holding those words inside me forever, like I've been meaning to say it for a long time now. A big relief rushing through my veins, as if I could breath properly again.

But she didn't look relieved, she didn't look like it had been taken a big weight off her shoulders like I thought it would. She was silent, still.. It was even frightening. I wanted to turn to her and say something else, my hands even itching to touch her one last time, but I knew it would just make it worse than it was already.

So I went away, with broken wings.—I picked up my dignity, all my pride and I walked out.

But was I doing what was the best for us? wasn't I making it worse? what if I just regret all of this in the future?

I guess I'll never know.

Inspired by the 'Love don't break me' MV. For a better experience, listen to the song while you're reading.

[ I made this, all fanfics posted here are original ideas by me. ]

[that1fangirrl]

Dating a Ballet Dancer...

Cw: some 18+,food mentions

A/N: This was honestly so adorable to me. I think I might write so more for it later on. If you have any ideas for this or other concepts, my inbox is always open. Enjoy!

He does not understand why ballerinas wear so many layers to practice. Especially because they are mostly thin and mesh garments, but with leg warmers

Yoga and stretch “dates”

Forcing her to eat more food so she can build up strength… or at least him sneaking a few snacks in her bag before she leaves for practice

Helping her stay in shape and healthy always

Something tells me he’d be curious to try a move… maybe stick to plié or tendu. Just like small footwork. Nothing extreme

He probably helps her with choreography. His enhanced senses pick up on slight changes so i definitely see him being like “oh that pirouette wasn’t as strong” or “your elbows aren’t tucked in right”

He doesn’t seem like a nervous person, but knowing with any sport you can get hurt has him on edge all the time. “What if you don’t land right and break an ankle?”

But he’s fairly confident in his babygirl… she's a professional after all

He's a huge stickler when it comes to her health. I know I said it before, but he's constantly watching what she eats, how much sleep and rest she gets. Cause he knows what the body needs to feel good and function better

Maybe it even motivates him to be better about his own health

It doesn’t help that they’re in college which always somehow means snacks over real food

If practice goes longer into the night, he’ll wait in the building or in the studio, so they can walk back to his or her dorm

Classical music is a must for them both. Just picture it. Him sitting on the bed studying with the music softly in the background while his adorable lover mimics the movements in her head along to the music. He would have the cutest little soft smile on his face(y'know the one)

When it’s tech/rehearsal week and he's not allowed to be around, it’s the worst. He’s only allowed to sit on one of the benches outside of the theater/auditorium. He can hear her jagged breathing, the nerves bounces off the walls, the constant frustration running through her veins. It makes him super antsy that he can’t barge in and console his sweet angel. 

But after each night of rehearsing, he makes sure Foggy isn’t at their dorm, so he can give her a well deserved night of comfort. Whether that be a nice massage, cuddling with an audiobook or some music, or everyone’s favorite… sex!!

Speaking of sex… he’s 100% her first. He’s so sweet and gentle. Constantly asking if she’s okay, if she wants to try something else, etc. It’s always a good time. Vanilla, but who cares? They're only in college.

Back to our charmer, he might’ve flirted with the dance instructor a little so he could be allowed into the dance studio after hours or during sessions. She’s an older lady, so of course she’s gonna love that little catholic boy who’s “too much”.

Now when the tickets for each show goes on sale, he is the first and i repeat THE FIRST to get a ticket. He’s up bright and early waiting for the doors to open so he can get one and be prepared for the night. 

During the day, he tries his best to keep her head up. Makes her stand in front of a mirror and say only positive things to herself. Even texts in the middle of his day, that she's gonna kill it. 

He even has Foggy tag along. Has him help pick out flowers and a cute card. Maybe even some cute jewelry, like a little dainty bracelet that has a ballet charm on it. Foggy doesn’t mind though, he’s their number 1 supporter. 

At the end of the show, he finds her backstage crying. Something about how she messed up on her turns and everyone noticed. To which he assures her with the biggest and tightest hug. “The crowd loved you Angel. They were absolutely breathless and amazed. If you did mess up, they didn’t even notice because your beauty hypnotized them too much.” Ending it with a billion kisses all over the face and on her forehead. 

She kept those flowers by the way. Dried them out and has them in a special area of their apartment. Probably in some cute little keepsake box. 

 After all these years, they’re still together. Graduated from school. Successful lawyer and Ballet Dancer of Hell’s Kitchen.

He still goes to all of her shows. Brings Foggy and Karen. Has a cute new bouquet of flowers each time. 

One night, he brings a ring. And after the show, they go for a small walk in the park nearby and he gets on one knee and proposes to her. The rest from there is history.

[pacing-er]

The Krakoa Era Reading List Cherik Version (PART 2):

4. Reign of X

Another very long series, 14 volumes of content! Similar to Dawn of X Cherik is not the focus of this series plot. However I did like this one a lot more and it introduced some elements that I really loved. For a brief summary this series covers the events leading up to the Hellfire Gala and all factors that went into preparing for it (ft. a LOT of flexing from Magneto XD). It does also cover the Hellfire Gala itself, which was super fun.

To start with the things I loved about it, there were a lot of queer characters and couples in both major plotlines and casual representation. The Make More Mutants™ law of Krakoa always made me feel a little icked out, because of its heteronormative implications. I was surprised to see this sentiment confronted by some of the queer characters themselves:

Pretty soon after this sentiment is expressed, we are presented with several solutions to the issue of same-sex reproduction. One of which is that science is advanced enough on Krakoa to produce a child using both parents DNA regardless of their gender or genitals (or lack thereof):

Another solution presented was that there is a LOT of coupling happening on Krakoa producing babies whose parents aren't ready or willing to raise them. Like. Excessive amounts of babymaking. To the point where people have actually had to start giving out contraceptives to slow it down. These unwanted babies are left waiting to be adopted by mutants or mutant couples who want them:

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!

Speaking of baby-making. Reign of X reintroduces several of Charles and Magnetos children who as of yet had not been mentioned in the Krakoa era. Including Legion, Onslaught, and Wanda (who shows up and dies immediately under mysterious circumstances RIP). Legion's storyline is intertwined with Nightcrawler's while they explore the darker sides of Krakoan society. Nightcrawler is hilarious and adorable in this series btw. Initially Legion is suspected by Charles to be behind the alias of the "Patchwork Man" who has been terrorizing young mutants on Krakoa.

(a moment of appreciation for how scared Charles is of Legion XD)

However after Nightcrawler is sent by Charles to confront Legion we find that this is not the case, and that it is actually Onslaught who is terrorizing Krakoa and feeding off of conflict and negative emotions. For some reason Legion decides to keep this a secret from Magneto and Charles as he and Nightcrawler work to hunt Onslaught down and stop him.

Onslaught must also be kept a secret from the rest of Krakoa, since the psychically-produced hate baby of the nations founding fathers might cause some discourse XD

Also Legion introduces us to the concept of non-physical psychic intimacy (kinda like the psychic intimacy that produced onslaught 🤔🏳️‍🌈?) which can be used by mutants who are unable to touch their partners without harming them. This psychic bond is demonstrated between a lesbian couple.

There's just. So many fun concepts introduced in this series. Most of the stuff above was in the last 2-3 volumes so it wasn't a HUGE part of the story, but a part I very much enjoyed none the less. The confrontation between onslaught and his biological parents hasn't happened yet but I desperately hope that there is a decent payoff. If not I can write one ☺️

As for how much I can recommend this comic based on Cherik-ness, I'd say it's worth a read if not just for the fact that Erik and Charles children are important parts of the story. Charles and Erik themselves don't get much character or relationship development and are just kind of managing the goings of the island like normal.

You can see my part 1 to this series under the tag #krakoa era reading list

[ghastlybirdie]

I've been meaning to make a post like this for a very long time and I never know how to start it out but I'm going to wing it cause I dont know my admiration for random people on Tumblr dot com could be made into a pretty essay or something so... I will yap endlessly

Writer Recommendation Series cause I can't express how much I adore my favorite writers <3

Spotlight: @glossysoap

If any of you ever want to have a good friend, a laughing buddy, a bank heist pal? Get you Glossy cause they will ABSOLUTELY be there for you.

Glossy is such a good friend to me, at this point, both on Tumblr and off, theyre such a genuinely good person and I would actually blow up the moon for this beautiful person and I adore them both as a writer and as a person. Movie nights, screaming about fictional men, playing little games, and just venting like the girlies do (gn). Glossy is just a good, genuine person. Someone like that is hard to come by. Genuinely.

I interacted with Glossy like any other; liking and reblogging mostly and silently talking to myself in tags. Then I got brave and sent anon asks, all under the 🌻 anon tag and some, and soon after (literally like 4 days later) she called for the 🌻 anon and BOOM I came into dm's. It's history from there.

Whether it's hurt/comfort (mostly hurt, girl RtC hurts me to this day lmaooo), dark themes, plus size readers, nsfw scenes, Glossy is able to write it and keep me GLUED and I mean G L U E D!!

And Glossy is so interactive! It's not hard to talk with her, even from a regular Tumblr user! You can talk to her and she's so easy to get along with, naturally funny and honest. She reblogs such good posts, even mine even though I'm a little ol' lady, and she's so ready to scream at the top of buildings about how much she adores other's writings. I can trust her and her taste. Fine cuisine, if you will!

And as with any human being, Glossy is flawed like the rest of us... And despite it all, yall best believe I'd start cheering and screaming at the top of my lungs to defend this baddie (and pretend I shake my ass or something) cause if it's fandom discourse or just shitty people being shitty people (iykyk) Glossy handles it like the ADULT she is. She can hold herself accountable and she will stand her ground, and she'll do it while serving CUUUNT (and then I shake my ass again but no really, Glossy is beautiful, her makeup skills are so sick)

SO lemme just have a list for you, cause I'm gonna go through some and leave you with homework!

Of course, please look through Glossy's masterlist! All of her works are posted there, and I can't touch on EVERYTHING that I love or else... Idk, we all might be here for a long while.

Ready to Comply - Ghoap x Winter Solider!reader I don't remember how this series came upon my eyes but it did, and at first I didn't really have an interest to read it cause I never was a Marvel/Superhero fan. But I saw it reblogged again on my feed and I thought "it must be good" and so I read a minute of the first chapter. And the next. And the next. And then I implanted myself into Glossy's life and here we are. I don't know what about the story or writing really hooked me in. Perhaps it was the pairing (I love me a good Ghoap fic okay), or maybe the creativity? Despite my lukewarm opinion of Marvel, I still enjoyed the story cause it felt seperated from the source enough that I didn't feel like I was missing much, if any, information. Most of what is written is described in a way that I could picture it all in my head comfortably. Speaking on comfort... this is certainly not a comfort fic LOL this is not a story for your grandma! Glossy's written something that made my mind picture hurt and gore and pain in a delicious way! And the more chapters you get into, the better the writing comes out! It's like Glossy is learning more and more ways to hurt me, it almost feels personal. Glossy, babes, do you enjoy giving us pain? That's okay, we like it <3 I adore the series, and every other piece of writing that Glossy provides just keep building up and up. This series holds a special place in my heart, and I love it dearly, even if it's not updated recently, I happily go back and read it when my heart needs familiarity and pain <3 Glossy writes a lot, I admire how often she does cause JesUS girl, how you write so much? I'm linking the fics I've read and remember fondly <3 And of COURSE please read more of her work. It's all so good and they really are a fantastic writer who only gets better as time goes on.

Staring - Weirdo!Ghost x Reader He's a freak, look at his weirdo (i say drooling and affectionately)... I'm also biased cause I (guess i dont remember now) helped with this one LOL

Showering with TF141 - Poly!141 x Reader Listen... I'm a simple man. I see poly and dubcon? I click. I should put this on my wall. Glossy knows what's in my brain, I guess lmaooo

Pushing Boundaries - Perv!Soap x Reader Do I need to say more? It's gospel at this point, and Glossy is giving the sermon

Teamwork - GazPrice x Reader *punching the wall* I think I'm gonna buuuust. Anyways, it's so delicious, please just UGGGGH give me

I could (and should but this post would be literally a mile long) post all of Glossy's works individually but I think, if you haven't already, should go through and read their work. It's worth it.

And it's worth every ounce and every effort and every moment to be a mutual and a friend to Glossy. She's one of a kind. As a reader, as a writer, and as a friend. And I just couldn't keep that to myself. So please PLEEEEASE read Glossy's work, and say hello, and show love. Cause Glossy deserves it.

I love you Glossy!!!! And I hope to have you as a friend for as long as the world spin... or as long as you can tolerate me LOL 💛💛💛

[2baddiesfanfics]

Curing a Curse

Pairing: Beidou x Ningguang

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Trauma, Childhood Trauma, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Comfort Sex, Body Worship

Summary:

As the traveler and Beidou leave the Alcor and head toward the captain's home village, Sea Drake senses the need to call on Ningguang to handle the aftermath. When Beidou returns, she is clearly not her usual self. It's up to the Tianquan to make her see reason any way she can.

Read on Ao3

Sea Drake overlooked the calm ocean deep in thought as he quietly watched his captain and the traveler disembark. They were headed toward the abandoned fishing village, which he knew would bring back unwelcome memories for Beidou. Once they were out of sight, he, too, took his leave, telling the other crew members he would be back before she knew he left.

————-

Beidou’s heavy footsteps thudded across the deck upon her return. “Hey, how’s it goin’? Lookin’ good, everyone!” She shouted as she made her way to her cabin. Someone with a well-trained ear may have been able to sense that her usual booming, enthusiastic voice had a slightly more somber tone to it.

“Captain, I prepared your cabin for you and have ensured nobody will disturb you for the rest of the night,” Sea Drake said as he greeted her.

Beidou flashed him a half smile of sorts. “Ah, thanks, Sea Drake. Hope it didn’t cause you any trouble. It’s just been a bit of a…long day.”

She entered her chambers backward as she saluted her crew with a hearty “good night!” Resting her head on the now-closed door, she let out a long, tired sigh.

A familiar voice echoed through her cabin. “Hmm. It appears Sea Drake was right to come get me.” The captain whipped around quickly and was greeted with the sight of Ningguang leaning on her desk.

“W-what are you doing here?” Beidou asked.

“I was informed you and the traveler headed to Downriver. That’s never a good sign.” Ningguang approached her and tenderly brushed back the hair on her shoulder.

“Baobei…You didn’t need to do that. There’s nothing to worry about. I’m fine, and I know you must have a boatload of paperwork to get through.” Beidou smiled, but the slight twitch of the corner of her mouth failed to fool Ningguang.

“Sweetheart, talk to me. I know you’re trying to keep it together, but you don’t always need to put up the tough guy front with me. You know this.” She should have known the Tianquan would be able to see past her façade with ease. After so many years, she could always read her like an open book.

“Ning…the villagers were right. I’m nothing but a curse! To you. To Liyue. To anyone I cross paths with,” Beidou sobbed.

“W-what?” Ningguang stuttered. The story of her childhood was no secret to her, but she had never heard her speak this way.

The Tianquan pulled her in and Beidou buried her tear-stained face in her shoulder. “I just wanted a roof over my head and food in my stomach. A safe place to rest. People who cared for me. It was my fault that dog died. The chief got sick and passed away because of me!” Ningguang rubbed her back in reassurance as she listened to her pour out her heart and soul.

“I brought destruction upon that village. It didn’t get any better as I got older. I lost my eye and have been nothing but a nuisance to Liyue Harbor. The villagers were right to kick me out.” Ningguang wrapped her arms around Beidou’s waist. She was the only person in the world who’d ever seen her this vulnerable. When it was just the two of them, she was no longer the “Uncrowned Lord of the Ocean” - she was just Beidou.

“I’ve heard the whispers in the harbor. I know they say a cursed soul like me shouldn’t even breathe the same air as the Lady Tianquan. I try not to let it get to me, b-but sometimes…I think they might be right.” Ningguang let out an incredulous gasp at her confession.

“Beidou! How could you say such a thing, darling?” She stepped back and lifted her chin to lock eyes with her. “I love you, dear heart. It doesn’t matter how others may ignorantly perceive you. You are strong, brave, and have one of the biggest and kindest hearts of anyone I have ever, and likely will ever, know.” Beidou refused to meet her gaze. She had never meant to reveal her internal struggles in this manner.

“Baobei…I’m sorry…I didn’t…,” she started to apologize but was interrupted by Ningguang’s lips on hers.

“Beidou, look at me. You are captain of the Crux Crew, the Uncrowned Lord of the Ocean, but most importantly, you are the holder of my heart, and certainly not a curse. Do you understand? You are not a curse, my love. You are my salvation.”

“Ning…I love you,” her voice cracked as she rested her forehead on the Tianquan’s.

“I know,” Ningguang chuckled. “Now, come. I’m going to worship you tonight.” Grabbing Beidou’s hand, she led her to the private bedroom and locked the door behind them.

The two slowly stripped themselves of their clothing until the only article that remained was Beidou’s eyepatch. Pushing her to lie down, the Tianquan moved to slip it off her face. “Ning…what are you doing?”

She bit her lip, carefully calculating what she was about to say. “Let me look at you, Beidou. All of you.” She ran her hands down the curves she had easily memorized. Scars mapped her body, and she took great care in tenderly kissing each one. She crawled atop her, tracing the marred skin that surrounded her eye.

“You’re a work of art, my love. The way your body curves at your hips down to your voluptuous thighs. The softness of your features when you look at me and the feel of your muscles as they flex at my touch. Every mark etched into your skin tells a story of survival and serves as a fulfillment of your promise to always come back to me.” She kissed her eye before placing both hands on either side of Beidou’s face. “You were made for me and I for you. Our love was written in the stars and I will honor that contract by worshiping you now and forever.”

Ninnguang kissed her deep and hard as she settled between her open legs. Gliding her index finger across Beidou’s clit, she was encouraged by her response.

Beidou’s moans grew louder as the Tianquan continued to stroke her sensitive bud. Her lips traveled down her neck to her chest, leaving a trail of angry red welts in her wake. Ningguang palmed her breast, feeling her nipple rise against the soft skin of her hand. Dipping her head lower, her tongue circled the now perky nipple, eliciting a groan from the captain.

Beidou’s breathing became ragged. Ningguang used her finger to collect enough lubrication to glide swiftly into her. She took the girth of two fingers with ease.

Wrapping her thighs around Ningguang’s waist, Beidou wordlessly begged to feel her mouth on hers once more. Their tongues battled one another, mimicking the thrusting occurring below. In a flurry of moans, Beidou shattered, her legs tightening around her as if afraid she was a mirage in the Sumeran desert that might disappear when she opened her eyes.

They sat there for a moment, exchanging heavy puffs of breath as they looked into each other’s eyes. “Ning…thank you. I apologize. I don’t know what came over me. It’s just one of those things, ya know? I know you love me, but sometimes…I don’t feel very lovable. You’re so accomplished. You run a nation, for archon’s sake. You deserve so much better than me.”

“Mmm…well, I will say you do cause me quite a bit of grief in fines, dear,” she teased. Beidou let out a slightly nervous chuckle. “But despite that small inconvenience, you’ve only made my life better, not worse. I’d hardly call you cursed.”

“Well, then…if that’s the only thing bugging you, allow me to repay you for taking care of those pesky fines on my behalf,” Beidou murmured, her lips brushing the Tianquan’s neck.

“You smooth talker, you,” Ningguang sighed as the captain rolled her underneath her on the bed.

“If there’s one thing positive I can say about myself, it’s that I know what you like and intend to make you feel as good as you made me,” Beidou said, one of her hands moving its grip from the Tianquan’s wrist to feel her fingers mesh with hers. Ningguang relished the difference in their texture. The feel of skin that was no stranger to hard labor made goosebumps quickly rise across her body.

Beidou grabbed her hip, pulling her flush against her. Once again, she marveled at the woman’s strength. “Everything I’ve accomplished in this life is because of your support, Ningguang. Without you, I may very well have become a curse upon Liyue. But you always believed in me. From the time we first met, I couldn’t stop thinking about the little girl on the beach who stopped at nothing to make her way in this world,” she stated between kisses from her ear to her neck and shoulder.

“Rex Lapis may be our archon, but I live to serve you and only you. If you asked me to sail to the ends of the earth for you, you know I would.” Her hand stroked its way across the Tianquan’s body, admiring the way her breast fit perfectly in the palm of her hand. She felt Ningguang ease into her touch, abandoning her own stress of the day. Dipping her head, her lips brushed her nipple and felt it pebble against her mouth.

“Beidou…I’ve missed this…”

“Shhh…I’ve got you, baby. Just relax and enjoy,” she murmured between licks and sucks. She bit down gently, and Ningguang whined and bucked her hips in response.

“Archons, the sounds you make…” Beidou moaned as she kissed further down her body. For someone who worked in an office all day, the captain was impressed by how toned her stomach was. She felt her muscles tense under her lips and it made her work quicker toward her goal. Her teeth marked the juncture between her thigh and where she’d soon devour.

“Please, Beidou…I need you…”

To know she was needed made her heart swell. While she didn’t want to rush, the heady scent of Ningguang’s arousal drove her mad. She lapped at her juices, a taste she never grew tired of. The Tianquan’s fingers tangled in her hair, yanking her head toward where she needed the pressure and wet heat of her tongue.

Her face was covered in slick as she attacked her from every angle. Adding her fingers to the mix, the cabin was filled with a symphony of moans, the sounds of their bodies a tune neither would forget.

“Come for me, love…” Beidou mumbled from between her thighs.

“Fuck…Beidou…yesssssss!” She screamed, her body twitching in ecstasy.

The chill of the sea filled the room, and Beidou - who had grown accustomed to it - pulled the sheets over the both of them. They held each other close, their shared body heat warming more than just their skin.

Beidou was the first to break the silence. “Please…don’t go.” Ningguang turned to face her, her hand cupping her cheek tenderly.

“I already told Keqing to cancel my appointments today and tomorrow. I’m here for as long as you need me, dear.”

She felt her eyes fill with tears once more - only this time, from relief rather than shame.

[sofmoth]

fill my head with bad decisions

chapter 4 of 'ritual,' chapter 3 can be found here.

thank you so much bat (@magpiepills) for continually beta reading♡

also posted to AO3 by me (@sofmoth), link here.

18+ ONLY. MINORS: DO NOT INTERACT.

divider created by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

joel miller (TLOU) x f!OC. WC: 5,059

series and chapter title are from 'Ritual' by The Devil Wears Prada, parts of the story are inspired by the lyrics of the song. please note: this is the fourth chapter of an ongoing series. each chapter will be tagged accordingly. speaking of

TAGS: all previous tags apply, dory makes a special friend, implication of child abuse, implication of CSA, implication of incest, shakes is a fucking menace, claudia is a bitch but they come to a tentative truce, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. (please let me know if i missed anything)

this is not a jovial or fun fic. it is VERY dark and VERY heavy. this story is based in part on lyrics from 'Ritual' by The Devil Wears Prada, the memoir 'Girl, Interrupted' by Susanna Kaysen, and my own experiences with my mental illnesses and the behaviors/ harm they've caused, not only to me but to those i love. please do not force yourself to read anything that may be potentially triggering.

The nurses make sure Claudia and I maintain a very respectful distance during TV time. There’s even an orderly from the men’s ward keeping watch. Naturally, everyone has heard about the incident by now, and it’s blatantly obvious that no one is on Claudia’s side.

Denise refused to eat dinner, so she got tubed. Of course. Despite the utterly vile looks she’s receiving from more than half the girls in the room, Claudia is smiling. She has herself tucked into one of the better chairs, legs folded in half, one hand resting on her cheek. Smirking like the bitch she is.

The blood was cleaned from her face before dinner, but my knuckles are still stained. No one made me wash my hands, so now I admire the tint on my skin as Dory braids my hair again. I watch Claudia from across the room, and I can’t help but wonder what she gets out of acting the way she does. She proved immediately that she cannot be trusted, and her attitude will make her no friends. You can’t survive in a place like this without at least one person to lean on. She’s a fucking idiot. 

Claudia’s head turns slowly toward me, her smirk broadening as she turns away again. She thinks she’s won something, clearly. I want to make her feel as stupid as she is, but it’s late, and I have to be on my best behavior for the weekend if I have any hope of going into town on Monday. The best part about the fact that she’s new means she has no privileges and will have to stay in the ward, so I’ll get to enjoy a day out without worrying about her antics.

By Sunday, the guard dogs have gone. I’ve made clear that I’m not looking to start any fights, I have no interest in even speaking to Claudia. She has demonstrated the most she’ll do is give me some shit-eating little grin before passing me by or looking the other direction. I took a good look at the medication board and discovered Claudia’s last name; Windhoven.

I had a professor in college with that name, and I believe that’s how I recognize Claudia. I must have seen her at some students-and-family events. It’s very strange to me that she ended up here. This hospital isn’t in my home state, nor is it in Indiana where I went to college. Perhaps her family moved here recently, or this was just the closest and best they could afford.

————

Monday, after lunch, the nurses and orderlies attempt to herd us cats. We’re visiting the art museum, and Cynthia expresses at length that we must all be on our best behavior. We make the short walk into town, and as we stand outside the museum, Cynthia drills the rules into us. No touching the art, no screaming, no carrying-on. If we have pocket money we may choose one thing from the gift shop and someone will either approve or deny the item before we make our purchase. We’re permitted and encouraged to ask the docent appropriate questions about the art they’re showing us.

“And for the love of God, do not wander.”

Obviously. Wandering off from the group is the quickest way to become restricted to the ward completely. Janice is prone to elopement, however, so she’ll probably have someone next to and behind her at all times. I have a feeling a few of the girls will take issue with the no screaming rule, and good luck keeping us from carrying-on.

Most of us are quite stunted, especially the girls who’ve been here for several years. Dory, despite her intelligence, is still a bit stuck at 17. At a time in her life when she should be going out to a bar to dance and drink with her friends, she’s locked in an institution. Most of our outings end up very much like a high-school field trip; pushing, punching, pinching, and tattling all included at no extra charge.

Our group stops at a Picasso. I’ve never been much of a fan of his work, but I find myself pushing toward the front to get a better look. I’ve not seen this one, somehow. Girl before a Mirror. I lose my breath looking at it. I can hear the rest of the group moving on, but thankfully Dory has the good sense to make sure she and our nurse stay back on a bench. There’s a presence to my right and I look up.

“One of my favorites. Yours too?”

“First time I’ve seen it, actually.”

A man stands next to me, he’s a bit taller than Dory. He’s about my age, dark-haired, and almost exactly what I imagine Joel would have looked like twenty years ago. If I were a normal girl, I would go after him with no hesitation. But I’m not.

“I’m Kenneth, you can call me Ken if you’d like. And you are?” I smile at him and shake my head.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ken, but you don’t need to know my name.” He chuckles and rubs his neck.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because this won’t be going any further.”

“I’d like to disagree. Could I at least get your telephone number?” I shake my head again.

“No, Ken.”

“Come on, why not?” His tone is jovial. I look back at the Picasso.

“Because I’m here on a day trip from the Tiffany Wallace Psychiatric Hospital.”

I turn to walk away and he grabs my hand. My whole body tenses and he releases me.

“Sorry about that. It doesn’t bother me, though. As long as you aren’t homicidal.” He’s trying to lighten the mood. “Is there a number I could call, to talk to you?”

“No. May I introduce you to my friend Dorothy?”

I don’t think I’ve ever met a man so unafraid, especially not one my age. But God bless him, Ken takes Dory’s hand in his and touches her knuckles to his lips at first sight. I’m content to follow them with our nurse as we finish making our way through the museum to the gift shop. Ken buys Dory a small poster of The Kiss. I do feel a bit jealous as she tells him the hospital telephone number and the name to ask for, and the calling and visiting hours. I wish I could come here with Joel.

She can’t show him any affection and I can tell it’s breaking her to pieces to not be able to hug this man. He settles on a polite handshake, holding her hand with both of his. He’s boyishly pushy, not malicious. I wouldn’t have passed him off to Dory otherwise, but if he does anything to hurt her, I’ll kill him with my bare hands.

————

I sit in the hall outside of Joel’s office at 3:55. Dory sits just down the way with our nurse, reading a book and glancing up at me every so often. Yesterday was a good day, but even she is nervous for my mediated session. I anxiously look up and down the hallway waiting for Claudia to arrive. Arrive, she does.

She may as well not be wearing a shirt at all, her tank top is so tight and short. It looks like a children’s size. Her miniskirt is the shortest I think I’ve ever seen one. She had to have had it altered. I know exactly what she’s trying to do. I scowl at her and she sneers back.

We’re called into Joel’s office and I enter first, claiming the chair closer to the desk before she has the chance. The chairs are spaced apart by about three feet. Smart of him to do. I sit sideways in my chair, shooting Joel a quick glance. I must look nervous; he raises his hand an inch off the desk as if to tell me to relax.

Joel actually looks bored of Claudia. I have no way of knowing what she’s been getting up to or what she’s told him, but it seems to me he’s already sick of it. Joel flips to a clean page in his notebook and taps his pencil eraser against the paper.

“Thank you ladies for joining me today. Are there any questions before we get started?” Joel looks between us.

“I have one. It’s entirely off-topic but it’s been driving me up the wall. Claudia?” Her head snaps over to me.

“I saw that your last name is Windhoven. Your father wouldn’t happen to be Doctor Samuel Windhoven, would he? Professor of mathematics at Marian College?”

“He was, he retired recently. What does it matter to you?” She wasn’t expecting that.

“Well I attended Marian, and that’s such a unique name that it got me curious. I thought I recognized you.”

“If you were one of his students, you probably would. Daddy always invited me to his dinners and he brought me to quite a few events.”

I have the nuclear bomb. I just have to hold onto it until the time is right. I have definitely thrown Claudia off her game, her posture has changed and she looks distracted. Joel clears his throat.

“Anything else? No? Alright, let’s get to it.”

He turns his attention to Claudia, which I’m fine with. Her answer to every question he asks amounts to little more than “because I wanted to,” or “because I can.” Even I can tell he’s not getting anywhere with her.

“Shakes, what do you think made you attack Claudia?” He gives me a warning look.

“I think I was just angry on Denise’s behalf, and what Claudia said to me was a trigger. I wasn’t in my right mind.”

Claudia mumbles something and I frown at her.

“Go on, Claudia. We’re here to share with each other, are we not?” She snorts at me.

“You were never in your right mind. You wouldn’t be here if you were.”

“What does that say about you?” She’s taken aback.

“Let’s be honest, Claudia. I knew as soon as I saw you that you tried to kill yourself. You’re no better than anyone else in here, yet you walk around with that superior little grin all the time like you own the fucking place. What happened, Claudia? Mommy and Daddy can’t stand the fuckin’ sight of you, so they shipped you all the way out here instead of paying for a private psychiatrist? They just don’t want to deal with you anymore?”

She looks like she’s about to scream.

“My parents love me. They just wanted me to have the best care available.”

“Sure, Claudia. Keep telling yourself that. The best care would have been keeping you comfortable at home with someone to come and visit you every week, someone at your beck and call until you’re well again.”

“Shut up.”

“What is it really, Claudia? Because I think I know.”

Joel exhales sharply.

“Shakes, quiet down. This isn’t productive.”

“No, actually, I think it’s very productive. We’re learning a lot about each other, aren’t we Claudia?”

“Fuck you.”

“You can let me know if I’m wrong, okay? Your father fucked around on your mother, and she was willing to put up with it for a while. Eventually though, he really crossed the line. Brought home some hot young tail, a girl your age. Mommy said she’d had enough, left his ass in Indy, and took you with her.”

“What the fuck do you know about my father?”

“More than your average bear. The next time Daddy calls, ask him how he’s been for me.”

It dawns on her. She looks like she’s going to vomit, and I have never been more pleased with myself.

“You’re a whore,” she whispers.

“Yeah. I am. So, what are you? Sitting here, flashing your fuckin’ tits to a man with a daughter your age.” I scoff. “You’re not better than me, Claudia. You’re just like me.”

Joel has completely lost control of the situation. I have to admit, it’s fun to watch Claudia spiral. It feels good to make her look and feel like the idiot she is. I close my eyes, leaning away from her.

“Ladies, come on. Let’s focus back up.” I open my eyes to scowl at Joel.

“You have no right! Who the fuck do you think you are, saying any of that shit about my father?!” I laugh out loud.

“I’m the girl who fucked him so good he couldn’t bear the sight of you or your cunt mother. He fuckin’ needed it, too. I had him on his fucking knees, begging me to give it up. You know what the best part is?”

“Shut up! Shut the fuck up!”

“When he got done with me, he realized he just wanted to fuck you. That’s why he was so willing. You know how many times he told me I look just like you? Yeah. No fuckin’ wonder your mother hightailed it outta there. Your daddy is a fuckin’ pervert.” 

Claudia screams like she wants to claw my eyes out, knocking her chair over as she stands and thunders out of the office. Joel sighs, writing his notes as quickly as his hand will allow. I’ll probably be in deep shit during my regular session with him tomorrow, but I don’t care. I only said what needed to be heard. I needed to wipe that fucking smirk off Claudia’s face for good.

————

Janice waves to me as she leaves Joel’s office. I’ve been mentally preparing myself since yesterday evening for whatever I’m about to face from him. I’m certain he’s upset with my behavior, but he got to his why. The reason was sitting right before his eyes; Claudia is, put plainly and simply, a cunt. I enter the office, sitting quietly as Joel locks up Janice’s file. He looks at me and shakes his head a little.

“Safe to say, yesterday was… interesting.” I snort.

“I don’t disagree.”

“Either way, we’re not here to talk about that today. How was your trip into town on Monday?”

I don’t like it when he’s this clinical, this cold. It makes me feel like he doesn’t want me anymore. If I need anything in this life, it’s to be wanted.

“It was fine. I actually met a boy.” His eyebrow twitches.

“Did you, now?”

“Mhm. His name is Ken. He’s a Picasso fan.”

“Is he closer to your age or mine?” There it is.

“About mine. He seems nice so far, I think he’s planning to visit soon.”

I’m not exactly lying. Ken did call Dory on Tuesday, and she gushed for an hour afterward about how sweet he was. He truly may be visiting sometime next week. “If everything goes to plan,” as Dory said.

“He knows you’re in here?”

“Mhm.”

“And that doesn’t bother him?”

“Doesn’t seem to.”

Now I’m just pushing. I can see in Joel’s eyes how worked up he’s getting, the gears turning as he tries to make sense of how I could possibly move on from him so suddenly. At this point, I just want to give him a taste of his own medicine.

“Interesting. What about him made you decide to… move on?”

“Who said I was moving on? He looks just like you.”

I worry for a moment that I’ve offended him. Joel beckons me around to his side of the desk, positioning me between his legs before nudging me down to kneeling. He leans forward, hands clasped on his knees as he looks over my face. His hand is quickly around my throat and my eyes roll back as he presses his cheek to mine.

“You think some little boy can do what I do? Just ‘cuz he looks like me?” His voice is soft.

“No, Joel,” I whisper.

“That’s right. Ain’t no one else. Hm?” I shake my head and his grip tightens.

“No, Joel,” my voice practically squeaks.

He kisses the corner of my mouth before releasing me. God damn him, I chase his hand. He runs his fingers through the hair framing my face, his thumb brushing over my cheek. He sighs deeply.

“What am I gonna do with you, Shakes?”

“I think you know what I’d like you to do.” His eyes roll.

“That was a rhetorical question, but I appreciate the input.”

I rest my head on his thigh as he pets my hair. My eyelids flutter closed and I hear him sigh again.

“You displayed a level of self-awareness yesterday that I didn’t know you were capable of yet. What brought that on?

“I wanted to make Claudia feel fucking stupid.”

“And why is that?”

“Because she is.”

“Why do you think you had to be the one to bring that on her?”

“I wanted to. I told her yesterday, she and I are just alike. You were there, you should remember.”

“Shakes, look at me.”

I open my eyes and tilt my face up. His head is cocked to the side, some thought brewing in his brain that I can’t yet access.

“In some ways, you are alike. But you ain’t her. I’m not… allowed to tell you this, but she’s mean for meanness’ sake. She thinks it’s fun. You ain’t like that. Never since our first session have I had that thought about you.” I lower my gaze.

“Sometimes I am. Like yesterday. I didn’t have to do that to her. But I wanted to, it was fun to get a rise out of her.”

“Shakes, we’re all gonna have those kinda days. Hell, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been an asshole just to see what would happen. But that’s the thing, she does it all the time. I’ve only seen you do it when you’ve been hurt. You were respondin’ the only way you knew you could.”

I lean back and wipe my eyes. I almost feel ashamed of myself, but the image of Claudia’s miserable expression from last night’s dinner through today’s lunch still shines in the back of my mind. I am still pleased with what I did, and sitting here in front of Joel, it makes me feel a bit sick.

“I wanna get better, Joel.” He leans down and kisses my forehead.

“You are, Shakes. You don’t see how much you’re improvin’, but I see it every week.”

“I wanna get out of here.”

“I know you do.”

I sniffle into my sleeve.

“If I got out, would you still want me?”

I watch him very closely. It takes him only a moment to respond.

“I would. Like to take you to the drive-in, or the museum. What’s your favorite band?”

“The Doors.”

“I’d take you to see them, too.”

In the split second it took him to answer my question, I watched him calculate everything he just said to me. I want so badly to believe it, but I’m starting to feel like he only wants me while I can’t fight back without extending my sentence. As badly as I want to fuck him, I’m getting the feeling that would be the beginning of the end. He tilts my face up toward his.

“Hey. C’mere.”

He pulls me up and into his lap, his arms cradling my back and his nose pressed to my neck. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, my cheek pressed to the side of his head.

“Gotta tell me what’s goin’ on in that brain if you wanna get better,” he presses a soft kiss to my shoulder as he speaks.

“Are you being honest with me? Will you really still want me if I get out?”

“When you get out, I’ll walk you to the car myself. You can even ride shotgun if you want.”

“And you’d take me to a movie, or to see The Doors?”

“Take you wherever you wanna go.”

“Joel?”

“Hm?”

“Why won’t you fuck me?” He leans back to look at me.

“You gotta get better, I’ve told you half a dozen times. Just wanna make sure you’re in your right mind before I do that to you.”

“What if I don’t get better?”

“Can’t stay here forever, Shakes. You’re gonna get better.”

I sigh and remove myself from his lap, hopping up to sit on his desk. He turns in his chair and rests his hand on my thigh, stroking softly with his thumb. I look at the clock on his desk, just about ten minutes left.

“I wasn’t being entirely truthful with you, earlier.”

“In what way?”

“I did meet Ken at the art museum, but I turned him down.”

Joel hums.

“So this boy, you don’t actually know what kind of person he is?”

“No, I have an idea about him. I introduced him to Dory.”

“How do they both feel about that?”

“I think Ken likes her. He called yesterday and he wants to visit next week. Dory seems really taken by him already. I was… lying by omission, I guess.”

“Why?”

“Just wanted to see how you’d react if you thought I was getting on with another man.”

Joel stands, placing his hands on either side of my legs and leaning over me. I can see silent upset boiling in his eyes, and I know if I ever try to play him for a fool again, it will end very badly for me.

“You’re smarter’n that. Y’ain’t gonna get away with pullin’ that shit a second time, understood?” His voice is low, almost threatening.

“Yes, Joel.” He nods.

“Good.”

He helps me down off the desk, grabbing his notebook and scanning a page for a moment.

“For the next week I wanna see you work on that self-awareness. If you do somethin’ hurtful to someone, take a second to think about why you did it. Or if you do somethin’ to help, ask yourself how it felt. You don’t gotta journal anything if you don’t want, just make sure to keep it in your mind.”

He rips out the page and tucks it into my file.

“Your meds still treatin’ you alright?”

“Yeah, I like these doses. I can think a little more clearly.”

“Alright then, we’ll stick with it for now. Behave for me, okay?”

I nod and he kisses me softly, the knock at the door signaling the end of our hour. I’m not ready to leave, but it really only amounts to wanting to spend more time with him. It’s not like I have much else to say.

————

Dory has long been asleep by now. I’ve spent the last few hours tossing and turning, alternating between staring at the ceiling and looking at my apple blossom. It still floats in the glass of water, its petals becoming more and more transparent every day. It looks like it’s trying to sprout some small roots but it just isn’t sure how to.

I sigh, rising quietly and slinking out of my room. I make my way up to the living room, freezing in place at the sight of Claudia sitting in one of the chairs. She stares out of the chicken-wired windows, picking at her lip with her nails. Cynthia sits up straighter at the nurse’s station and I hear Randi make a quiet phone call, probably to get an orderly over here in case something goes sideways.

I sit on the couch near her and she glances over at me briefly. I feel bad for her. I really do.

“What do you want?” Hate drips through her voice, small as it may be.

“Nothing. I just couldn’t sleep.” I keep my tone even.

“Leave me alone.”

“I planned on it.”

I curl up with my back to her, hugging my knees to my chest. I hear the hallway doors open, and I can only assume the orderly has arrived to keep watch.

“I really hate you,” Claudia whispers.

“That’s fine.”

“When you hit me, that was the first time in years I got to feel angry and knew exactly why.”

“I won’t say I know what you mean.”

“Good, because you don’t.”

I shift to face her, examining her cold features in the blue light. As terrifying as she is during the day, in the night she reminds me of a frightened child.

“Why did you do it?” Her tone is accusatory.

“Do what?”

“Why did you have to… have an affair with my father, of all people?”

“Do you want my honest answer?”

Her eyes burn my skin as she nods.

“I was bored. I needed something to do. I felt lonely and your father was the closest target. It was nothing personal against you or your family.” Her eyes close.

“So you ripped my family apart on a whim?”

“Yes.”

She scoffs, shaking her head.

“I hate you too, you know.”

“Obviously. You wouldn’t have said half of what you did on Tuesday if you didn’t.”

“I didn’t say all of that just because I hate you. Like it or not, we’re two sides of the same coin.”

“Don’t compare us. I can assure you, we’re nothing alike.”

“Claudia, wake up and smell the fuckin’ coffee. You made Denise starve herself again because you think it’s fun to hurt people. I told you about your father because you hurt me and I wanted to make you feel stupid.”

“I do feel stupid. And I feel fucking sick.”

“Good.” She glares at me.

“You should feel sick. You can love your father, but you needed to know what kind of man he really is.”

“My father is a good man.”

“Your father is an adulterous pervert.”

She sniffles, and I can hear her begin crying softly.

“He is. I knew he was. And I’m so mad at you for making me think about it again. I hate you. I hate everything about you. You make me look into a mirror every time I’m near you and I have an ugly fucking reflection.”

I’m not sure if she’s taking a shot at my appearance or my personality, but I’ll sit and take it. I look down at my hands.

“That’s how I feel about you. I see all the worst parts of myself in you. The way you act, the way you talk. The way you treat the other girls, I think it’s fucking deplorable. But whether I like it or not, you aren’t doing anything I wouldn’t do. You’re just doing it for everyone else to see. If I’m being honest with myself, I think I admire that.”

“How do you keep it all in? If you feel this way, how do you keep it to yourself? I don’t understand how you can live like that.” Claudia sounds incredulous.

“It just doesn’t do anything for me to be nasty to their faces. It doesn’t solve any problems, it isn’t fun for me to see them upset.”

“So why did you act that way yesterday? You don’t like acting like me, so why did you?”

“You pissed me off and then had the balls to try and lie about why I hit you. Claudia, I’m a mean fucking person. Just because I don’t like showing it doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

We sit in relative silence for a while, Claudia continually sniffling and picking at her fingernails. She won’t look at me and that’s just fine. Eventually she does raise her head, eyebrows furrowed as she tries to make out my expression.

“So how did it feel? Embarrassing me like that, hurting me?”

“It didn’t even feel good for a full day. At first it felt great, but the more time I spent thinking about it the worse I felt for doing it.”

“Knowing I pissed you off so badly you blacked out and gave me a bloody nose had me riding high for the whole week. I liked seeing Denise walking around with that feeding tube, knowing I fucked her brain up badly enough that she needed it.”

“Claudia, I don’t think I’ll ever want your friendship.”

“Nor I, yours.”

“Regardless, I’m sorry.”

She seems shocked. Like she can’t imagine why I would ever feel apologetic, or what I might possibly be apologizing for.

“You’re not going to survive very long in here if you make an enemy of everyone. Don’t be mistaken, I’m not saying I want to be on your good side. I don’t want you to even think about me.”

“If you’re willing to ignore me, I can ignore you.”

She’s almost getting it.

“I’ll ignore you if you stop making it your mission to make the rest of us as miserable as you are. I don’t know when you have therapy, I don’t care. But I know you don’t want to be here any more than the rest of us. You’ve gotta tell Joel some of the shit you told me. You’ll get out a lot faster if you’re willing to work with him a little.”

“Why do you care how fast I get out?”

“I don’t. But in two days, I’ll have been here for five months. I’m getting sick of this place, I don’t know how Dory’s been able to stand it for the last four years. I know you will go crazy if you’re in here too long.”

I can see the gears turning. I’m not sure if she’s truly considering what I’m saying, but I’m not saying it just for her. As much as I hate her, Claudia is my mirror. I’m telling her what I need to hear.

“Let’s make a deal. We can ignore each other all we want. The next and last time we acknowledge each other will be the day one of us leaves. But in the meantime, you need to start bailing out the lifeboat. Stop trying to bring the rest of us down with you.”

“Fine. This is the last conversation we have until then. I won’t promise demurity but if it means you leave me the fuck alone from here on out, I’ll at least talk to Joel.”

“That’s all I’m asking for. Have a good night, Claudia.”

I nod to the nurses and the orderly as I stand, padding back to my room. As I slip under my covers I look at the apple blossom again. It’s turned itself over, tiny roots all shriveled up.

[adiraofthetals]

Six Months On Tumblr!!!

Six months. Damn. Half a year, and I am still here on my bullshit. What a surprise...

I will admit that it's 10 pm where I live on February 22nd and most (all) of my disco buddies are not on that date or time. Aka I am saying that I forgot again and I have to do it now or I will do one hell of a post of shame. ANYWAYS!!! What has happened this month? Speedrun addition cause I want to sleep.

Rin posting fics daily like usual! They are currently at 790 Star Trek Discovery fics. You are insane @sadmushroomgoblin and we love it.

AJ has posted some art of Paul and Hugh on his page. He also posted a fic with them too!

You can find @ajtal and Rin on ao3 and you must have an account to read their fics.

Speaking of art! Our lovely Ash has been posting some more art on their page!! Go check them out!! Also, @ashlexzz has realized that despite having "Blu Del Barrio fan page" in their bio, they don’t post about Blu. We will see if they post about Blu anytime soon. (We love you Ash)

@weltato is currently sick, and I hope they feel better soon. I don't believe they have any disco news though. I think their wifi has been acting weird or just not working... But go tell them to feel better soon!!!

@mxflowercheck has been very quiet, and I would be wondering if they were dead, if not for the reblogs. I think they are in exam season. Rest in peace, Clover. One day we will hear from you.

I am going to try and recap what happened this month. I wrote some fics, and I am working on some more. At some point...

I found a short film that Blu Del Barrio stared in called Blonsh. When I say I found, I mean, it was like lost media levels of found. Anyways I spent a WHILE, and I found it with no help from the internet and am now keeping a copy file on my laptop cause I am not losing it. Thank you very much. (If you want to know where to watch it, I will give you the website I found it on. It is not a sketchy website, btw.)

Anyways, I am a god for finding it, and the internet was useless in my endeavor. The only useful thing was the website I found it on.

I got more sideblogs now... No I am not going to tag them but if you find them good job.

I am also working on like 3 projects that I really hope work and are all connected. I hope it turns out well but it's going to take a while.

I also think that the Section 31 movie came out this month. Feels so long ago... Also they finished wrapping season 1 for Star Trek: Starfleet Academy! Tilly and Jett are supposed to in there and I so want to see them. Also Adira but it hasn't been confirmed if they will make an appearance. You know that's like the only Discovery related news we have had in these 6 months tbh.

I think that's it for the most part... Well, here are the notes and goodnight, my friends. It's been one hell of 6 months!!!

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

I am CURIOUS what are YOUR favorite modern and historical theologians and specific works you like and why?

You must forgive me for taking ages cause I am very bad at answering these lol. I am also not especially well versed in theologians but even those I haven't read, I am still pretty familiar with their philosophy

Okay so my favorites are

Athanasius: He's first cause he's my new hero. I adore him. Arianism sucks and my guy got exiled repeatedly trying to put a stop to it

Timothy Makie: Yall knew he would be here. The only reason he's not first is because Athanasius is an icon. Tim Mackie is my absolute favorite I watch all their videos, listen to their podcasts, watch his sermons, etc. He has completely changed the way I read and think about the scriptures and he always has great book recommendations. He's also why I want to go into Biblical Studies.

Julian of Norwich: Maybe I'm being fast and loose with the term "theologian" but... I don't really care. She's here because "all is well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be exceedingly well" is something I repeat on an almost daily basis. Her Revelations of Divine Love is marvelous. And the way she manages abstract thought all the while keeping the incarnate view of Jesus in mind is also incredible. Also: the earliest known woman writer in English. Also, also: She's a mystic. Ofc I was gonna mention her

N.T. Wright: Gosh I love this man. He's been very influential on my reading of Paul and of the resurrection of the dead (by which I mean, causing me to realize it was a thing to begin with). I firmly agree with him that we have to ground Paul in his First Century Jewish context to understand what it is he's saying.

Paul: The multi-ethnic family of God. His efforts towards ensuring that Christianity was not just a Jewish religion but a catholic (universal) religion are unparalleled. Now days people love to hate Paul, but no one ever could make me do so. He worked so hard to create peace and order in what was and still is the most diverse religion in the world. Also, the man loved hymns lol. I don't believe he wrote the hymns we find in his letters (something about Paul doesn't give me "hymnographer vibes" iykwim) but he definitely has good taste. "The Image of the Invisible God" is my favorite.

Esau McCaulley: I heard him speak one time and was sold. He thinks very similar to me on quite a few topics but, being schooled and more learned, is able to bring them to levels I had never even considered. I love his use of Revelation in his political philosophy because it is the bedrock of mine lol. Also I loved him laughing at the British for saying that Paul's tone in Galatians was the problem. Like WHAT!? Never have I ever read Paul and went "Oh Paul's problem is his tone." That is THE MOST stereotypically British thing someone could ever say lol. Also Paul talks the way I do-

John: I have an entire tag dedicated to him. John the Apostle. John the Theologian. John the Son of Thunder. John the Witness. John the Undying. John the Visionary. John the Elder. John the Youngest. John the Mystic. John the Poet. John the Beloved. John whose name means "Graced by Yahweh". John who begins and ends his gospel with moments of intimacy. John who's life is like thunder: filled with love and death. John was in Jesus' innermost circle. John who rests his head on Jesus' bosom while he speaks, listening to the heartbeat of the Lord. John who needs to remind everyone that he is the one Jesus loved. John who stayed with the women during the passion and wasn't ashamed of sharing their pain. John who was the only one who wasn't martyred. John who was the one martyred at Jesus' crucifixion. John who is trusted to take Mary as his mother. John who beat Peter to the empty tomb. John who is the first one to see Jesus from the boat post-resurrection. John who's symbol is the eagle, marked for clairvoyance and observation. John who saw a vision of Jesus with breasts. John who was gifted an apocalypse where he saw Jesus and his followers conquer the world through their deaths. John the patron saint of love and friendship and loyalty and writers and poets and mystics and theologians. Also he's an INFP like myself lol

C.S. Lewis: As If I need to freaking explain. I wish to read everything he's written. I can only name one thing he's said that I disagree with (he's anti-pacifist) but even then I can fundamentally understand where he's coming from.

Augustine of Hippo: I have a love/dislike relationship with him. Much of Protestantism and Calvinism get's it's philosophy from him... and much of it I disagree with (see: Original Sin or Just War for example). But like his moral philosophy is splendid! His theodicy helped me develop my own (we both agree that evil is lack and is un-real for example. Moral evil is disordered love). "God is more intimate to me than my most intimate being." "The only way to have all you desire and want no evil is to have God" !!!!!! Like!? Also I love a good quality "rake to saint" story also while he was *kinda* sexist, I deeply appreciate how he never blamed women for his lust and sin, always maintaining his own responsibility. Icon.

Thomas Aquinas: Gosh I love this man. His arguments for God's existence. His moral philosophy. His political philosophy. His reconciliation of Aristotle, ARISTOTLE!!!! His explanation of transubstantiation. Need I go on?

Haven't read John Piper (and he's Calvinist so. There's that.) but he's got a concept called "Christian Hedonism" in his book Desiring God and I just love a good quality provocative name lol. (Inspiration between eventually naming my book on the theodicy "God is Un-Real"). I also would fight back against his critics who say that there is no similarity between his concept and philosophical hedonism. If Epicureanism can be considered hedonism, so can this. And I myself am a Christian Hedonist. In Greek philosophy hedone/joy/pleasure was the product of love and the soul. If God is Love, I find this equation of love + human = pleasure still tracks because God + human = joy. Both Aristotle and Aquinas believed that happiness was the highest (natural) good. Aquinas took it farther to say that the highest spiritual good is "joy everlasting". The concepts are quite similar.

@eesirachs. I love here lol. The way she approaches scripture is quite different from me, but one thing certainly cannot be denied: you never read her writing without coming away with something to contemplate or meditate on. Also she always gives marvelous answers to my inquiries

Some names of the top of my head: Tim Keller; Hildegard of Bingen; Crispin Fletcher-Lewis; Andrew Rillera; Amy Peeler; Josh Matthews; Gustavo Gutiérrez; Peter J. Leithart; Scot McKnight; Ray Lubeck; John Sailhamer; Adele Berlin; Brevard Childs; Morna D. Hooker; Karl Barth; Michael Fishbane; Abraham Heschel; Richard Bauckham; Michael Heiser; Robert Alter; J. Richard Middleton; Christopher J.H. Wright; Richard B. Hayes

I haven't read all of these (obviously) but I know from a very trustworthy source that they are very good

[differentkettleoffishalltogether]

Saturday Morning

Summary: Spencer can’t resist a little quality time when you both wake up earlier than your daughter for once.

A/N: Here’s a little morning sex with Dad!Spencer smut! I hope you enjoy it! As always, comments, reblogs, and tags are always appreciated, love you!

Pairing: Dad!Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: Smut

Warnings/Includes: cursing, smut, graphic descriptions of sexual acts, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, fingering, please let me know if there’s anything I’ve missed!

Word count: 2k

Request: This is a mish-mash of requests from my main along with this gif, all put together 

Masterlist

You’d grown accustomed to waking up to some loud noise or harsh wail coming from another room. You always seemed to wake both startled and completely unsurprised by the situation you were bound to head into. Having a child had all but tanked your sleeping schedule.

There was a little reprieve when she first started sleeping through the night, but that didn’t last all that long before she was able to walk. And now if you didn’t wake up from the noise, you usually woke up when she wandered into your bedroom demanding something or other.

And that went double when Spencer was home. She missed him even more than you did while he was away. She seemed to have this sixth sense for when she knew he’d come home in the middle of the night. Bursting in early in the morning just to climb into bed with you and snuggle up next to her dad.

But today was different. When you woke up and felt Spencers arms tucked around you it was a more than welcome surprise after falling asleep in an empty bed. What was even better though, was taking a peep at the clock and noticing just how early it was, plenty of time before your little girl was sure to barge in unannounced.

When you jostle about just a little it seems to stir Spencer awake too, and you hear a croaky little “good morning” whispered against your ear.

“Good morning to you too” you crane your neck around just enough that you can see his sleepy face and his half lidded eyes, and you place a kiss on his gently curved lips and they just break into a wider smile.

“I missed you,” he breathes, “a lot.” he pulls you in closer so your back is pressed tight up against his chest, and then his lips are brushing so light against your exposed neck that you feel like you must be dreaming.

“Spence” you giggle, “You know what she’s like, she’s gonna come flying through that door any second” you reach one of your hands back to rest in his hair, but he doesn’t let up. His kisses grow harsher until his teeth are grazing against the sensitive skin below your ear and you can’t even stifle the soft moan that escapes your throat.

“Fuck, I missed you so much” he groans, “missed that sound” as he speaks his hands start to roam along your body, drifting up from your stomach to grab at your breasts over your t-shirt, squeezing gently causing you to whimper just a little. And then he’s grinding up against your ass and it’s unmistakable.

“Spence, are you- ah… hard?” you gasp, but he doesn’t respond verbally, he just grinds against you with more vigor, one of his hands resting on your hip and helping you rock back against him.

“Fuck okay, she’s probably still asleep, but we’ve gotta be quiet” you finally concede and he groans against your neck. Now that he’s unafraid to hold back his hands make their way down your body, teasing at the hemline of your panties.

“We both know I’m not the one that has trouble keeping quiet” he chuckles, running his fingers in tantalizing strokes along the elastic. “I bet you’re soaking wet already. How much did you think about this while I was away?”

As he waits for your response his fingertips finally breach the hem, moving further down to trail in between your folds, gathering the wetness along his fingers.

“Everyday” you gasp as his fingers brush up against your clit, running in lazy circles around it.

“I’m sure you did” he growls as two fingers push inside of you slow and deliberate. You can feel his hot breath against you ear as he works them in and out of you steadily and you bite your lip to keep from moaning. But it doesn’t really work when he hits up against one of your walls and you let out a small cry. So he pulls his fingers out then, leaving you desperate and wanting.

“P-please, no” you mumble, grabbing at his wrist.

“You’re gonna need to be a hell of a lot more quiet if you want my cock honey” he reprimands, fingers tugging at the elastic of your panties, an encouraging sign. So you give in and nod.

“My lips are sealed” you whisper, turning backwards a little to see his face, shutting your lips tight in a good will gesture. So he places a small kiss on them and finally shimmies your panties down your legs.

Then he’s back to spooning you, one hand firmly on your hip to keep you right where he wants you, the other resting next to your head on the pillow. He starts off slow, pushing in and savoring the way your breath goes so shaky in an effort not to make a sound.

“That’s it baby, you take me so well” he whispers against your ear, “Always so tight and warm for me, I missed this so much” he stays like that for a moment, just resting inside of you, buried to the hilt while you squirm around him.

“I thought about your perfect pussy every single night while I was gone. I thought about you while I got myself off so many times, but nothing compares to the real thing” he moans it just a little and the thought of him touching himself in a hotel room somewhere, thinking of you, always does something to you. And he can feel it, the way you involuntarily clench around him as he speaks.

“Huh, do you like that honey?” he teases, and all you can think to do is let out the weakest “uh huh” as you nod, right as his hips finally start to move, still slow and restrained. He knows that you probably don’t have all the time in the world, but he still can’t bring himself to rush it.

“Do you wanna know more? Do you wanna know exactly what I like to think about?” he asks as he works in and out of you, the head of his cock hitting just the right spots on each thrust.

“Please” you gasp, probably a little too loud, but it’s the best you can do given the circumstance.

“I love thinking about you all alone here, in this bed without me. I think about how you must touch yourself on the nights that I’m not here, how those pretty little fingers probably can’t hit those spots deep inside that you love so much. And then I start thinking about that toy you keep in the bottom drawer of your nightstand” he teases as his hips start to pick up a little pace, still not going very fast, but pushing in almost impossibly deeper each time.

“That piece of silicone is about the size of my cock isn’t it honey? Do you like to fuck yourself with it when I’m not here?” he asks just as he lets out a hard pant right against your ear, his grip on your hips tightening with each thrust.

“I— ah— yes!” you moan, and that one was definitely too loud because Spencer’s other hand moves up to clamp shut over your mouth.

“Don’t want us getting in trouble now do we sweetheart?” he whispers right against you ear, planting a kiss right beneath it. And you breathe a slight sigh a relief that you don’t really have to think about keeping quiet anymore now that Spencer’s hand will be doing the hard work. So you waste no time getting started again, grinding your ass down against his cock so that he groans in surprise.

“Eager, are we?” he teases, his hand on your hip drifting down between your legs, his fingers toying with your clit once again. And he has you moaning into his palm.

“I guess I’m gonna have to keep my hand here, because you can’t seem to behave”

Keeping one hand cupped over your mouth and the other between your legs he starts to rock again, his hips slamming up against yours. The sounds of skin slapping against skin, though stifled by the blanket, were probably still enough to wake someone up in the quiet house.

“I never got to finish talking earlier” he moans softly, “I love to think about how you and I fit together so well. I picture how fucking perfect you look when you ride me, love seeing my cock disappear up inside you, the way your eyes close, the way your tits bounce for me. I think about eating you out, the way you get so fucking wet, how perfect you taste, the way you pull my hair and try to squirm away from me when you’re close. How great it feels to just pin your hips down and make you take it, overstimulate you till you’re a fucking mess”

The words all swirl around your head as he pushes in and out of you, his fingers still teasing at your clit as you grow closer and closer. And you’re pushing your hips backwards to meet him on each thrust, desperately seeking your release as he continues to whisper filthy words right into your ear.

“Fuck— Spence!” you moan, and it just gets caught by his palm, but he can feel the vibrations, so he lets go for just a second.

“You gonna cum for me honey?” he asks, not letting up for a second, and you just nod furiously as you feel yourself coming undone.

“P—please—uh” you breathe, “I’m— gonna” just as you’re about to let out a whine, Spencers fingers find their way into your waiting mouth and your lips involuntarily close around them, stifling the string of pornographic noises that were about to escape.

Even as your hips kant away from him he continues to thrust into you, his fingers still working against your over sensitive clit until you’re squirming in his grip and moaning around his fingers. And then with a final few thrusts he’s cumming himself, spilling deep inside of you with a guttural moan against the side of your neck.

It takes a few moments for your breaths to steady out and your heart rates to come down. And when you move you can feel the sweat that coats the both of you. You try to roll out of bed but you’re yanked back by Spencer’s arm around your waist.

“Hey, I gotta get up to pee” you whine,

“Without giving me a kiss?” he says, sporting a cartoonish pout. But his lips look so pink and irresistible anyway that it’s hardly a fair fight. So you lean in and give him a soft, lingering kiss. And he removes his arm from your waist in exchange.

You grab some underwear and pajamas from the floor before you head into the bathroom, taking a bit of time to clean yourself up before your Saturday really starts. You’re gone for all of 2 minutes and when you return to the bedroom Spencer’s not alone.

He seems to have had just enough time to throw on some pajamas himself before your daughter broke in. So you take a second to linger in the doorway, watching the way he has her in fits of giggles already as she sits in his lap.

“Good morning sleepyhead!” you wave at her from the doorway, “We were waiting for our wake-up call this morning”

-- --

Thank you so much for reading! x 

-- --

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[inhuman-obey-me]

Excuse me! it’s just me, this blog’s stalker because your works amazing. I kinda am in love with your demon’s nature series. I if I could request something. Could you possible do MC seeing the brothers do something that is “demonic”. Similar to what happens in the series. Thank you!!!!

Hello!! Haha, thank you -- we’re so glad you like our content! ;u;

And I’m glad that you enjoy the Demon’s Nature series! It’s been a lot of fun to write.

Sorry this took a bit! I wasn’t sure if you wanted this to be something with one of the brothers or all of them, so I ended up doing little short blurbs for each of the brothers and MC accidentally catching them doing something demonic/violent. Tried to keep them all pretty short, which was hard.

[Mod Cosmos]

MC accidentally catching the Demon Brothers being Demonic/Violent

content warning: blood/gore, body horror (especially in Beel’s), and general violence

Note: This is through the perspective of an MC that knows that the demons do their thing, but perhaps doesn't want to see it happening in front of them.

LUCIFER

You were supposed to go shopping together after meetings for the day were finished, and he had told you to just wait an additional thirty minutes so that he could finish up some business. Thirty minutes passed, but there was still no word from him, so you decide you’ll go and see what was holding that workaholic up. You soon realize that was a mistake.

You hear muffled cries, and a familiar deep voice. Cautiously, you approach the source of these sounds -- a room located off a dark corridor. You didn’t think there were any classrooms here, and your curiosity got the better of you -- so you approach the door, peeking through the crack. You recognize the intimidating silhouette and --- there’s blood. There was another figure in the room, their body limp on the ground in a puddle of red, the mighty first-born’s claws tearing through flesh. A loss of balance in your surprise results in you tumbling into the room, earning a sharp turn from Lucifer, whose crimson eyes were wide in surprise. His wings spread out to try and shield the unsavory scene from you.

“MC, you were supposed to wait for me.” His voice is stern, but there’s a gentleness to it. He sees the queasy look on your face, and decides he can put this torment to an end. With a swift motion, he fully blocks your line of sight before slitting the lesser demon’s throat. He then turns back to you, lightly embracing your body with black feathers. His voice is soft as he did not want to frighten you. “I’m sorry, you weren’t supposed to see that. Let’s get you home, shall we? I’ll make you some tea.”

MAMMON

It had just been a scratch. A low-level demon had taken a swipe at you in passing, but hadn’t been able to cut too deep. Mammon insisted he was just running off to get a bandaid after you insisted he didn’t need to go after the other demon. He said that he’d be right back--”I’m just gettin’ a bandage, I swear!”-- and told you not to move an inch. But this bandage quest was taking longer than it should have, so you go after him, pressing a loose cloth against your wound. And there he was, having cornered the offending demon. He seems to be staking the demon in the arm with a sharp metal object, speaking in a tongue you couldn’t understand.

You hadn’t even realized you had dropped the Majolish bag from your hand, not until it hit the ground with a thud and Mammon whipped around to see you there. A flash of guilt appears on his features, his eyes going between you and the lowly demon. He drops them, though he can’t resist one more swift kick to their chest before running back to you.

“I told ya I’d be right back!” He’s about to cup your face in his hands, but retracts them as he realizes they’re covered in blood. “Uh, okay, let’s go get that,” he motions to your injury, “...taken care of, yeah?” He mumbles a sorry as he picks up the bag you dropped before ushering you away from the scene, promising he’d do whatever he needed to do to make up for having to witness it.

LEVIATHAN

You’re browsing games at a shop, having tagged along with Leviathan who had been raving about a new release. At one point, however, Leviathan had vanished from your side. You now realize it’s been … quite some time, actually. You wander about the store, unable to find him anywhere. Did he step outside? You decide to check, missing the anxious glance from the clerk behind the counter.

You hear some sounds from the alley by the shop. Is that … someone choking? Worried, you round the corner to make sure whoever it was is okay -- only to see the one doing the strangling was Leviathan himself. He had his tail tightly wrapped around the other demon’s throat, and … what, what was that inky substance leaking from their eyes? Leviathan caught your shadow against the alley wall, turning to you with a slightly panicked look.

“M-MC!” His tail quickly slithered off and away from the demon’s throat, leaving them to collapse to the ground. He’s suddenly at your side, hands on your shoulders as he turns you around and makes you walk out of the alley with him, murmuring something about how the venom will take care of the rest. “S-sorry about that, MC. You look a little sick … let’s get that game and go home and play, okay?”

SATAN

You had been ambling through an aisle in the grand Royal Library, wondering what random book you should pick up next to flip through idly. Satan had wanted to spend a quiet day reading and studying together, to which you readily obliged. But it was easy to forget just how large the Royal Library was -- what floor were you on again? -- and you wonder if you should head back to where the two of you had set up. Then you suddenly hear a distant crash. It seemed to be coming from one of the meeting rooms at the back, and you couldn’t help but want to take a peek to see what had happened.

“Fuck you!” You knew that voice, and you knew that anger. There was a muffled yell, and what sounded like shattering glass. Then there’s a chilling, mocking laughter, and you can feel the goosebumps starting to cover your skin. You nervously approach the slightly ajar door, and there he is, his tail impaling another demon with its sharp ridges. Oh, there is fury burning in those eyes -- ones that shift to land on you, and that glowing fury is replaced with exasperation.

“MC!” Your name comes out as a hiss, but he quickly tosses the other demon, slamming them into the wall. “You…” He’s unsure what to say, his wrath calming at the sight of you, especially with that look on your face. “I … I’m sorry, I just had to take care of something. Please, let’s go. We can talk about this later.”

ASMODEUS

The music is loud, the drinks are pouring, and you’re having an absolutely wonderful night out clubbing with Asmodeus. You were returning from the bar with two drinks in hand for the both of you, thanking one of the security guards on your way for managing the crowd of fans that had now dispersed, only to find that Asmodeus was not to be found at your table. He had left a note-- “BRB! ♡”--with lipstick on a napkin. You waited, sipping your drink as you demon watched from your seat. Some time passes, and you realize you’ve finished your drink a bit more quickly than intended. There’s still no sign of him, so you might as well go get another.

On the way to the bar, however, you pass by what you assumed was the hall to the restrooms, and you hear a desperate “I’m sorry!” cutting through the heavy bass. Should you be concerned? Well, you decide to at least be nosy, so you slip into the hall to see what was going on -- and are met with the sight of Asmodeus holding a heart he had carved out of some poor demon’s chest. In your shock, your empty glass slips through your fingers and crashes to the floor, earning your demon’s attention.

“Oh, MC!” Despite his surprise to see you, he gives you a smile -- one that gives you chills as you see blood spattered on his face. “Ah, what a mess…” He lets the lesser demon slide to the floor, debating on what to do with the organ in hand, but hides it behind his back for now, coming over to place a quick kiss on your cheek. “Sorry about that, darling. I’m just going to go clean up, so wait for me at the table, ‘kay?”

BEELZEBUB

You had agreed to go with him to Madame Scream’s after finishing up classes for the day, but he was running late. He’s not picking up any calls, either, so you decide to go to where his last class would have been -- maybe they were just running way over, and he hadn’t realized the time? The hall is quiet, and you end up reaching an empty classroom. Walking back out, you decide to try calling him again. Ring, ring. After a moment, you realize you can hear Beelzebub’s ringtone in the distance, and you follow your ears to where his D.D.D. and ultimately he himself must be.

You weren’t prepared for what you saw next. A head of bright orange hair buried in a lesser demon’s abdomen, the sound of squelching and slurping from his feasting sounding so much more insidious than usual.

“Beel!” You can’t help but cry out his name in shock, which causes him to jolt upright -- with intestines still hanging from his mouth. Oh, you were going to be sick …

“MC … sorry, Lucifer always says I need to work on my table manners … “ He gulps down what was left hanging, but his eyes widen when it registers just who caught him in the act. “Oh, uh, guess that’s not the point, huh … “ He sheepishly wipes at his mouth with some torn cloth that you can only assume came from his victim, standing up and walking around to block your view of the mangled body. “I’ll clean this up, and then … well, we can do whatever you want to do. Sorry, MC …”

BELPHEGOR

You’re looking around for where Belphegor could possibly be napping. Beelzebub had to go to Fangol practice and asked that you make sure his twin got home, as he had seemed even more tired today than usual. He’s not in the Western Courtyard, so you head to the Southern Courtyard next. You think you remember him saying that was one of his favorite spots…

You perk up as you spot the ever-familiar cow patterned pillow, but you fail to see the demon that was usually attached to it. Peering around the area, worry starts to set in -- and then you hear a scream. It certainly didn’t belong to Belphegor, but the gears in your mind start turning and you run to where the scream came from. Of course, no one else was around here -- it wasn’t the busiest area on campus in the first place. Turning a corner, you see just what you feared -- Belphegor had his claws at another demon’s throat, his barbed tail wrapped around their body and squeezing them tight. You feel weak, the scenario a bit too close for comfort as you recall what he had done to you in the past.

“MC?” Belphegor turned to see you, his eyes wide. He must have sensed your presence at some point, or maybe your heart was pounding much louder than you realized. He drops the other demon, growling something you can’t make out to them, and then slowly approaches you. He sees you tense up, causing him to stop in his tracks. He averts his gaze, not wanting to meet your eyes as he tries to figure out what to say. “I just … had to deal with something. You … you can head on home first, if you want. I understand.”

[cazzyvintage]

Perfectly exasperating

Synopsis: You really disliked Zemo, but one person you disliked more? John Walker. After bonding over how you disliked him with Zemo, you have the unfortunate situation of running into John. He flirts, insults, and hurts you and Zemo is ready to put him in his place.

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings/Tags: Use of swear words, John Walker being a dick, soft Zemo, protective Zemo

Author’s note: I was not intending this fic to come out as long as it did. This was one of the ones I had been putting off to write other stuff till I finally pulled myself around to writing it and ended up getting really into it. Funny how that happens.

Masterlist

Sequel

Part 3

Part 4

“Would you care for a Turkish delight?”

You bite the inside of your mouth in annoyance, refusing to even look at him. Instead of forcing your eyes to focus on a spot in front of you, not moving them in the slightest. Zemo waited for a few moments before sighing and turning away from you.

“You’ll eventually have to talk to me, y/n” he exclaims as he walks over to the kitchen side of the room. You were sitting in the safe house Zemo had provided. There wasn’t much to do, just sit and wait till the funeral started. Zemo sought to communicate to you to keep you two occupied, but you didn’t want to talk with him, so you didn’t. You just sat on the settee, staring at the sofa opposite you while Zemo walked around looking through the cupboards for food.

You were pissed when Bucky revealed he broke Zemo out of prison.

The avengers had been your family. Whenever you needed them Steve would be there to offer you advice, Tony there to make you laugh. Nat there to beat up whoever required it. Everything was wonderful in your life. For once. And he had ruined it.

He caused the family you loved to split, hate each other, and that left you alone. So alone. Losing both Tony and Steve made you more mad at Zemo. He robbed the last years you could have spent with them, so yeah, no wonder you refused to talk to him.

He loved to annoy you, though. Any moment he got he was beside you, creating sarcastic remarks about what was happening, trying to joke around with you. Trying anything to communicate with you. The worst of it was when he insisted you had to be his date on the mission in Mandripoor. Feeling his arm wrap around you, a kiss to your temple, the smell of his cologne flooding you, drawing you in. It pissed you off knowing how easily you fit into the role of his date. Yet you knew deep down why. Every time he made a snide remark, you had to bite your tongue to stop making one back. Every time he tried to joke with you, it took all your effort not to snort. You hated him and everything he does, yet you could sense a fondness growing for him, just a slight one, in the deepest corner of your heart. Left there to be locked away. Never acknowledged.

“So, the new Captain America, huh? What’s he like?” you hear Zemo ask, leaning on the counter of the kitchen table, his eyes burning into the side of your head.

You feel bile rise to your mouth as he spoke.

John Walker.

John fucking Walker.

If you hated Zemo, you despised John Walker. Just thinking of him brought a scowl to your lips. Steve meant everything to you. He was a father figure to you. He stood for all you believed in. He was your hope, your light in the darkness. And John Walker seemed to tarnish it. You wouldn’t have minded him if he was a different mascot for America. If he became America’s new hope. It was the fact that they called him Captain America. That he had the shield. The title belonged only to Steve. He claimed he wasn’t trying to replace Steve, but that is what he was doing. Him being called Captain America felt like a spit on Steve’s memory. People would forget him, everything he did for the country he loved. They would only focus on John Walker, and you detested that.

You didn’t blame Sam for giving away the shield, unlike Bucky. You could understand why he did it. That shield held such a responsibility, such a legacy it seemed impossible to ever live up to. No, you blamed the people who took the shield away from the museum. Without Sam’s permission. They should have asked Sam. But of course they didn’t care. They didn’t care at all.

“I see by your reaction that your impression of him isn’t a pleasant one,” Zemo says, bringing you out of your thoughts and back to reality.

“Have you met him?” he asks

You try to hold back your opinion, but John Walker made you so frustrated, you knew if you didn’t rant about him you would burst.

“Yes. He’s a dick,” you spit out

Zemo quickly straightens up, surprised you actually answered one of his questions.

“Oh? Are you finally speaking to me.” he inquires, walking around the kitchen counter towards you.

“Don’t push your luck” you mutter, side eyeing him as he sits down opposite you. Sam and Bucky were out leaving you alone with Zemo. At the moment you were all waiting till the funeral. Zemo claimed there were a few hours to kill before everyone had to gather. Sam and Bucky decided to check out the town, make sure they knew it well in case a situation occurred where we had to dash. They had forced you to babysit Zemo.

“No, no, I like to hear you talk. Please, if talking about how this new Captain America is a dick is how I get you to speak to me, then let’s continue.” Zemo says, pouring out a glass of whisky for you and him. He holds the glass out to you, an eyebrow raised. You sigh, grabbing the glass out of his hand and drank, feeling the warmth creep up your throat. Zemo chuckles as he watches you, leaning back on the sofa, his arms resting on top of it.

“My, my. The man must be terrible if just the thought of him is making you talk and accept drinks from me,”

“He’s so infuriating! He thinks because he is Captain America he can stick his nose in other people’s business!”

“Ah, so he is one of those people. Doesn’t understand boundaries. How rude,”

“And get this, he got annoyed at us! Telling us we should stay out of his way when he is the one getting in our bloody way!”

“No” Zemo fake gasps

“Yes!” you exclaim, going into a rant, “I can’t even bear to call him Captain America. He doesn’t deserve to be called that. His actual name is John Walker. He claimed he wasn’t trying to replace Steve, but that is exactly what he is doing! And how he talks to me as well. He’s so condescending, treating me as if I am a kid while trying to compliment me and act like he’s all that in front of me,”

Zemo’s eyes narrow and he places the glass down on the table between you two, “You mean he flirts with you?”

“If you could call that pathetic excuse flirting. I suppose. It pisses me off though,”

“I can imagine. He sounds nothing like what Steve was. Nothing like his legacy,”

It was your turn to narrow your eyes, watching Zemo curiously. “I assumed you hated Steve”

“I never hated him. No. I can admire what he stood for, I just find unrealistic. All superheroes are flawed. Innocents will consistently be collateral damage while superheroes are allowed to exist.”

You stare at Zemo, amazed. Not realising the silence you were making. You had always thought he hated Steve. It always seemed that way. Yet he didn’t? Knowing he didn’t hate the guy you always viewed as a father figure mattered to you. And you don’t know why.

Zemo stared back at you. He was studying your eyes, trying to figure out what you were thinking. He didn’t realise what he thought about Steve would have affected you, but it appears he was wrong.

“Don’t worry y/n we’re back and guess what! We found your fav-” Sam shouts, opening the doors of the room and strutting in but he pauses, noticing you and Zemo staring at each other from the sofa’s. “What’s going on here?”

Zemo is the one to pull out of the eye contact trance, smirking as he looks over at Sam, “We were just discussing John Walker.”

Bucky who had followed Sam in grounded at hearing Zemo utter that name. “Perhaps you two would like a drink and join us in considering how much of a dick he is?” Zemo asks, raising his glass to them.

A few hours later you walked down the street following Zemo to find his associate. You didn’t appreciate how secretive he was being, but you understood it. He had many people who wanted to get him, and the second he wasn’t useful to us. He would be doomed.

“It’s too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit” you hear a whiny voice shout. Peering up, you notice John Walker and his sidekick ‘Battlestar’ or whatever jogging down the steps towards you.

“Ah! How did you find us now” Bucky shouts with his arms raised, striding towards them.

“Come on. You really think three Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention,” his friend responds.

“No more keeping us in the dark,” John mutters angrily

Zemo, who you were walking besides, turns his head to you, “I understand what you mean by infuriating”

You chuckle as John looks angrily between you two, “You can start by telling us why you broke him out of prison,”

“He did that himself technically” Bucky replies, and Zemo grins at you, as if bragging about it.

“Aw, this better be an unbelievable explanation-” John Walker exclaims, reaching up to you.

“Hey take it easy before it gets weird,” Sam suggests, interrupting John.

“I know where Karli is,” Zemo reveals to John Walker, his seductive accent sticking out from the rest of them. He tries to walk past John. You, Bucky and Sam follow, but John stops him, placing a hand on his chest.

Zemo glares ahead, disgusted at John for even daring to touch him.

“Well, where” he says, getting into Zemo’s face

“All we know is, it’s a memorial so we are going to intercept her there,” Sam adds, trying to defuse the tension.

Zemo grabs John Walker’s hand and pushes it off him, striding forward again, and you jog to catch up with him.

“See why I call him a dick now,” you whisper

Zemo smirks, looking back at you, “Yes. He’s perfectly exasperating”

“What? No. Wait. No! No! Stop. Hold on. Stop. Okay?” John exclaims running forward and stopping you all in your tracks again after something Sam had said. “I think we are way past reasoning with her”

Zemo just stares ahead, fed up with John while you groan in annoyance. Not being able to even bring yourself to look at the man in front of you.

They argue for a few moments while you and Zemo stand idly to the side, Zemo glances at you rolling his eyes making you giggle. You smack his arm slightly trying to get him to stop making you laugh, but that only makes Zemo chuckle along with you. Eventually they calm John down but he glares over at Zemo, “We will deal with you later.”

“I’m sure it will all come to an agreeable conclusion” Zemo says, gesturing with his hands. He walks ahead, searching for his associate while John Walker moves beside you. You try to pick up your pace, but he keeps up.

“So working with a criminal now. Not very avengery like. I thought Zemo hated Steve. I wonder what Steve would think of you working with him,” he mutters peering at you.

“Need I remind you-you are also working with him now,”

“Come on, darling, don’t be like that,” John responds grinning, placing his palm on your back.

“Get your hand off me” you growl scowling at him

“Most women would fawn over me” John cockily resorts, still not removing his hand

“She asked you to remove your hand” you hear Zemo state, glancing over you see he had stopped walking forward, turned around and was now glaring at John. “Do I need to remove it for you?” he says angrily.

John frowns at Zemo. Finally, taking his hand off you and striding up to Zemo. Zemo tilts his head, his jaw clenching in fury as he stares at John.

“You are nothing but a dirty criminal. Don’t think for a second you can talk to me like that,”

“I will when you are being rude and disrespectful towards a lady,”

John scoffs, peeking over to you, then back to Zemo. Everyone else was standing to the side, not sure if they should intervene or not.

“What did she suck you off or something?”

Chaos ensured.

Bucky and Sam had to leap forward to stop Zemo from launching onto John while Battlestar had to hold John back. “Too far man, too far” he muttered to John

Zemo was snarling at John, his teeth bared in rage. His hair had fallen loose from their usual position and was hanging down over his forehead, giving him a more wild look. The vein in his neck stood out, twitching. His eyes were raging with fire as he looked at John. He kept trying to push past Bucky and Sam to get to John, but eventually gave up knowing it was futile.

You were standing at the side, shocked that John would have the ego to say something like that and at Zemo’s rage towards John for saying it. John adjusts his head. Not looking you in the eyes, but looking in your direction. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t of said that”

Pulling your senses together, you walk up to John, glaring at him. “Yeah, you damn well shouldn’t have. You’re a dick. Nothing like Steve. You never will be,”

John wrinkles his nose in anger, frowning at your remark. You walk over to Zemo now that Bucky and Sam had let go of him. You give him a nod, showing your appreciation, and he nods back, though still glaring at John.

“Who I choose to associate myself with is none of your business. Who I choose to suck off is none of your business. Perhaps you can go fuck yourself and learn a bit of decency,” you spit at him.

A brilliant thought crosses your brain for another way to twist the dagger of your dislike into John. You reach out and grab onto Zemo’s hand, clasping it.

The action causes everyone to turn wide eyed to you. Including Zemo. He glances down at your hand in his then back to yours, surprise in his gaze but he immediately covers it up turning back to John smirking. He turns to behind himself, then back to the group.

“My associate is up ahead,”

You all turn to look forwards and see a little girl staring at you. Walking forward again, gripping his hand, Zemo nods to the girl as you all approach.

“Hello my friend,”

He holds out some money, a lot by the looking of it, and says to her, “This is for your family”

The girl hastily snatches it, obviously in need of it, and you can’t help but feel your heart warm a bit, seeing how kind Zemo was being to her.

“Can you show us the way?”

She beckons with her hands and walks forward. Zemo looks back at you, nodding to make sure you were okay, then follows her.

“What the hell” John murmurs from behind.

Following the girl, she leads you to a building. She turns, pointing inside a doorway, and runs inside not to be seen again.

“Karli’s in there,” Zemo tells the rest of the group. Sam replies and heads inside to talk to her while John suddenly grabs Zemo’s arm and yanks him against the machine on the wall.

Zemo moans as he is shoved into it, the hard outer piece hitting into his chest roughly.

“Hey. You’ve got ten minutes” John shouts to Sam as he takes out a pair of handcuffs and attaches them to Zemo.

“Really” Zemo mutters as John cuffs him to the machine.

“Then we are doing things my way,” John declares ignoring him

“Aggressive” Zemo jokes, though from his eyes you could still see the anger he harbors towards John.

He twists his head to watch John stride forward, staring at Sam, then back to him. “But I get it”

You wander over to stand by Zemo as you wait for Sam to talk to Karli.

“This day has brought a lot of changes. This morning you refused to say a single thing to me and now just moments ago you were holding my hand,” Zemo speaks quietly to you.

You shoot him a glare, “I did that to agitate John,”

“Sure, that was the only reason” but you knew from his eyes he didn’t believe you. They sparkled with amusement as he looked down at you.

“That cuff must bother you” you mention glancing over at them.

“I don’t mind. I quite enjoy cuffs, in the right setting of course,” he quips.

You turn on your side, looking at him, your lips curling into a smile. If we are going to play that game, you thought.

“Oh, what setting would that be?”

Zemo’s smile deepened, enjoying seeing you play along, “I’m sure you would like to know”

“Do you have to do this here!” John exclaims, glaring at the two of you. You quickly step back from Zemo, forgetting that you two had company. Your eyes snap to Bucky’s with worry, but he wasn’t looking at you. He glared at the ground, not seeming to care what was happening between you and Zemo.

After that Zemo tried to engage you in conversation again but you effectively ignored him, going back to how you were treating him earlier, which you knew was frustrating him.

John was looking down at the shield, then squeezed the bridge of his nose with his fingers, panting. Both you and Zemo glanced up, watching him cautiously. You glanced at Zemo and he stared back, confirming you were both thinking the same thing about Walker.

He got up and started shuffling towards the doorway. Both you and Bucky eyed at each other for the first time with the same recognition in your eyes. You leave Zemo’s side to walk over to where John was.

“No, no, no. This is a bad idea,” John mutters as he paces around. Zemo watches him like a hawk while you and Bucky stand side by side, arms crossed.

“It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Sit tight,” Bucky replies.

“Don’t do that. Don’t patronize me,” he spits back, pacing around.

“He knows what he is doing,” you reply

There’s silence for just a moment. You watch as John turns towards you and walks fast, hitting his fist against the shield, “I’m going in”

Bucky walks forward and places his hand on John, stopping him from moving further.

He tries to antagonise Bucky, trying to make him guilty for what could happen to Sam. And you could tell his words were influencing him.

“You will not be going in till ten minutes are up,” you state sauntering over to them

“Oh, so the whore has something to say,” John spits out

In the back, Zemo growls, tugging on the cuffs that connected him to the wall. You feel the outrage prick up on you as John’s remark.

“Don’t call her that” Bucky says, glaring at John

“She’s been openly flirting with the terrorist over there, so yeah, I think it’s appropriate to call her that,” John bites back

You rush forward, attempting to punch John in rage, but he was able to sidestep you and brings the shield up, connecting it harshly to the side of your head. Pain soars across your face as you fall down onto the ground. You groan, your eyesight going dark around the sides and black patches covering parts of what you could see.

“BASTARD” you hear someone shout with a beautiful accent. From the floor, you can’t make out much of what is going on. Someone with a metal arm attacking another guy. A man with a shield being attacked by a man in a trench coat. It was all too confusing for you. You just wanted to sleep.

You could feel yourself fading in and out. Your eyes begging to close. You could hear shouting. Someone talking.

Your head was raised. Someone was holding it in their hands. Your vision is blurry but as they get nearer your eyes could focus on them. Beautiful brown eyes, messy brown hair, cute thin lips. It was him.

“Y/n!?” Zemo shouted at you, “Y/n stay with me”

“My head hurts” you mutter to Zemo as he lifts you up, placing you against the wall. Slowly your eyesight came back, and you could see your surroundings. Only you and Zemo were left.

“Zemo, where is everyone?” you ask turning your head, but in doing so it makes you feel incredibly dizzy. You groan as Zemo places a hand on the side of your face to stop you moving.

“They went after the Sam,”

“I need to help them!”

“No, you need to stay here and recover,”

You look over at the wall then back to Zemo, “How did you get out of the cuffs?” you ask

“Ah well…” Zemo says and glances down at his hand, your eyes follow and widen seeing his hand, bruising covering it, his thumb sticking out at an odd angle.

“You broke your hand to get out!?”

“Well, I couldn’t let him get away with saying those things and hurting you,” Zemo mutters, smiling slightly but you could see the pain flickering in his eyes, “I gave him a well-deserved punch in the face”

You chuckle at the thought. Leaning forward, you kiss him lightly on his forehead, a gesture of you wanting to ease his pain. You move back just in time to see him looking at you, surprised, before your vision faded.

Taglist: @multiyfandomgirl40 @ineffablebean @freyjasamael @avgravy @huntheimpossible @checkurwindow @there-goes-thefighter @bunniwritesx @montypythonsholysnail @yallgotkik @wonderwoman292

[miiamour]

sorry, sirius!

gn!reader x regulus black (they/them pronouns)

summary: you fell in love with your bestfriend’s brother, and the two of you have to keep it a secret.

warnings: kissing, upset!regulus, maybe angst??, sirius being dramatic, idk lol

word count: 1.3k

a/n: this was the most voted so i must give the people what they want :) also i didn’t really know how to end this so, i’m sorry if it sucks & i didn’t proof read lol, i just wanted to get this fic out haha.

you recalled the first day of your second year at hogwarts. you were waiting for sirius at kings cross with remus, james, and peter. little did you know that it would be the day you met the boy you loved; if you were to tell twelve year old you that you’d be in love with sirius’ younger brother— you probably would’ve slapped yourself.

“there he is!” remus was the one who spotted sirius, being able to see over mostly everyone at mere age of twelve.

“hey guys! this is my little brother, regulus” sirius introduced him as he greeted the rest of you. he had the same hair that sirius had, only it seemed thicker and it grew to the nape of his neck. you noticed he was shy; he hid behind sirius the entire time, rarely speaking and when he did it was only to sirius.

now almost four years later, the same shy boy that you met your second year on the train was gripping onto your waist with one hand while the other was tangled in your hair as you two hid in a broom closet for a bit of snogging.

“ow—“ you mumbled against him when he pushed you against a shelf causing you to hit your head on a bucket of rags.

“sorry!” he broke apart from the kiss. only a few centimeters of space between the two of you as he rubbed the back of your head sympathetically.

“we have got to find a different place to snog that doesn’t smell of bleach” you breathed out as you moved a bottle of bleach away for your face.

“or” he dragged the word, “we could just go to my dorm instead of you sneaking into it at night” he said as he fixed his tie that was previously being tugged on.

“c’mon reg, you know we can’t do that” you kissed him sweetly, he didn’t return the kiss as he was too busy pouting.

last year, the two of you had gotten especially close due to him joining the advanced potions class where slughorn partnered the two of you together.

after a night of studying together in the library, regulus had gathered up the courage to kiss you and to his luck, you kissed him back. in all honesty, you had always had a tiny crush on regulus, although you felt extremely guilty about it. sirius was your bestfriend and i would have been wrong to go after your bestfriend’s brother— but technically regulus went after you so you didn’t feel too bad about it.

since then, the two of you had been secretly dating; midnight dates in the astronomy tower, sneaking around during sirius’ quidditch practices, and snogging in broom closet— hence your current situation.

“so, we can’t be a regular couple because you’re afraid of my brother finding out or because you’re embarrassed to be dating sirius black’s younger brother?” he inquired.

“im not embarrassed of you reggie! you’ve got a game today so don’t waste your energy bickering with me” you changed the topic.

regulus was never good with telling you how he felt but his facial expressions told you all you needed to know; he was upset, very upset.

“yeah whatever, i’ve got pre-game practice to go to, see you” he walked out before you were able to give him a kiss goodbye.

—

at the game you watched with peter and remus, who managed to get lily evans to tag along; james’ probably begged remus to get evans to come along.

peter had been cheering for his two best friends on the field, “did you see that?” peter shouted at you “james nearly caught the snitch!”

“huh? oh uh, yeah, so close!” you pretended to have been paying attention— well you were paying attention just not to james.

your eyes were on regulus and the way his hair got in face as he flew through the field. the way his hands gripped onto his broom. you wanted nothing more than to let the entire world know how much you loved him.

the game went on and both james and regulus were reaching towards the golden snitch and everyone was on the edge of their seats; even lily was cheering for james.

“whoohoo! let’s go potter!” lily yelled out, accidentally catching james’ attention. you could see his eyes light up before regulus shoved him out of the way and james nearly lost his balance.

“c’mon reg” you whispered to yourself as you saw the snitch only a few centimeters away from regulus’ fingers tip and then boom! he caught it.

slytherins were cheering and ran onto the field, congratulating regulus. remus and peter ran down to the sidelines where james and sirius stood with looks of annoyance.

you ran down the stands onto the field, pushing through the crowd of slytherin. regulus was sitting atop the shoulders of two of his teammates.

“oi! black!” you shouted out at him, you quickly caught his attention, and he hopped off of his teammates shoulders and his wide smile quickly faded.

“can i help you?” he said in an nonchalant manner.

you grabbed onto the sides of his face and crashed your lips into his. nothing but cheers and whistles in the background, but for a spilt second, it felt like you and regulus were the only people on earth. his hands placed on your lower back, pulling you closer.

everytime your lips were against regulus’ it felt magical, but this? this was freeing. it felt enlivening to finally be kissing regulus in front of the entire school.

once you pulled away, regulus had a huge grin on his face, probably the happiest you’ve ever seen him. his smile quickly faded when he turned to the right.

you followed the direction of his stare and your eyes were met with james, mouth gaping with pure shock on his face. remus, a look of not-so-shocked shock. peter, wide eyed with pure confusion.

and then there was sirius, his eyebrows were furrowed and he was blabbering like a baby, “but- did you- no! uh- what? how? why?- YOU!” you and regulus walked to the side of the field where the marauders stood, “you’re shagging my baby brother!” sirius cried out.

“i’m 16 and taller than you!” regulus flayed an arm around while the other was resting around your shoulder.

“shut up! the grownups are speaking!” sirius put a finger in front of regulus face.

you and sirius began bickering, sirius mostly spoke of how wrong it was and how angry he was, while you blabbed about how it wasn’t wrong and that he should happy for the two of you. both do you were interrupted by a loud noise— regulus fired a firework into the air.

“okay! it’s my turn to speak, big brother, and your turn to shut up because seriously do you ever shut up?” regulus concluded “i’m sorry, sirius! but don’t blame y/n. i’m the one who kissed them last year, and i don’t regret it, at all! because of it, i’ve found the one person that i want to spend the rest of my life with! they’re the most amazing person i’ve ever met, every minute i spend with them is the happiest minute of my life and every second i’m away for them, it hurts and i never want to be away from them!” he yelled as sirius stood silent and listened, if anything sirius looked almost— impressed.

it was the first time that regulus ever properly expressed the way he felt about you.

“i love you, y/n” regulus turned to you, cradling your face in his hands; the first time he ever said those words.

“i love you too, reg” you said before placing a sweet kiss on his lips.

“oh, well, i didnt know you two were in love! okay! alright! it’s fine by me” sirius cheered and interrupted the sweet moment you two were having.

“we would’ve been together whether it was ‘fine by you’ or not.. just saying” regulus stated before wrapping his arms around you and exhaling, feeling beyond overjoyed. it felt good to finally be able to be together, even if it didn’t last long. you loved him and he loved you, for as long you could— regulus was right about one thing; he spent the rest of his life with you.

taglist: @keepawaythenargles @anywherebuthere @myloveforluna @ga-bitch @starlight-writes-stuff @mnachopsis @slutforsalvatore @partr1dge @kenzie224 @crazy-beautiful @nefariousaffairs click here to join!

[rudemaidenswrite]

Don't Belong Here

Part 4

By: @pusantheamazonian

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 

Tag list: @athenaricham-loves-orcs  @pandainfinitely @rosecat5

"Charlie we got a problem." Olivia whispers once Charlie gets home. 

"What is it?" Confused, Charlie sets her bag on the table. Olivia points at you. Quietly staring at the wall in silence.

"You okay Y/N?" Olivia asks, sitting beside you. Charlie is sitting on the other side.

"Something bad is gonna happen. I know it." Uneasy, you can't really explain it. 

"Did something happen with Ronnie?" Charlie probes.

"I don't know anymore." Sighing you slouch into the couch.

"What do you mean?" Charlie reiterates, her HR skills kicking. 

"I go to the party and end up talking to Ronnie the whole night. Exchange numbers and continue talking. He even gave me a nickname. Unfortunate circumstances and he's at work helping to identify a body. In a fit of anger and emotions, he basically jumped me after work. Days later after no contact he comes over to apologize. Gives a weak ass apology but I accept it anyways. It's an appropriate reaction to your friend suddenly dying to have untamed emotions. But our relationship is rocky cause I'm still offended from the bruise he left. Co-workers are still pissed. Today he picked me up because they needed medical expertise but couldn't go to a hospital. So I'm fixing a couple guys up; obviously the other dudes are dead. Dorghu comes in and wants to speak privately with me. He thanks me for helping out. Which is odd. He questions why I speak Orc and then gives his permission for me to be with Ronnie or anyone in the clan. Where the hell does he get the idea that Ronnie and I are even dating? We’re not even official. Ronnie then asks what Dorghu wanted so I tell him. I also told him how my wrist broke. Which made Ronnie angry. After talking with Dorghu I've started questioning my feelings about Ronnie. There's too many variables that suggest he's just playing me because he was ordered to. So I've been staring at the wall, rethinking my entire life." Not breathing you summarize everything. 

Olivia and Charlie are stunned. It's a few minutes before anyone speaks. 

"That's a lot more complicated than I thought it would be." Charlie finally comments.

"You must like him cause you two were obviously digging on each other. Right up the friend incident." Olivia states. 

"But being so involved already. They're going to force me to be part of them no matter what." Massaging your temples this weird situation keeps getting weirder. 

"Ooooh! Well, pick a cute one." Charlie abandons the situation like she has the last seat on the rescue boats from the Titanic.

"What do Mam and Pap think about Ronnie?" Olivia interjects.

"Only Pap knows about him and that's because he was there when Ronnie came to work. Besides Pap's on the fence." Another sigh and you throw a blanket over your head to hide. 

“That's not bad but it's not good either.” Unsure Olivia pats your head. 

“You haven’t told Mam about Ronnie? May Luthic help your soul.” Stunned Charlie can't believe you haven't told Mam. Mam is going to rip you a new one when she finds out. 

“I know, I'm gonna need it.”

Those weird thoughts keep popping into his head and have not left. Why did Dorghu want to privately talk to you? He could have told him what he wanted to know. Unless there's more that you're not saying. 

It clicks. Something else happened with that boy. There's something else fueling your spite. Something bad. It’s starting to make sense. Why you're so quiet. Why you can fight. The ability to speak the language. Hell he bruised the same wrist. He probably gave PTSD flashbacks. And left you alone for the rest of the day.

Shit.

You're probably not sleeping. Probably staring off into space. He has to find you. He needs to be on the same page.

Putting his truck in park he watches you come out of your apartment complex and walk across the parking lot, down into an alley. Confused, that's weird behavior coming from you. As he follows you down the alley he watches you light up a cigarette. Surprised he didn't take you as a smoker he never smelled tobacco on you. Sneaking up behind you, he's hit with what you're really smoking.

"Are you smoking weed?"

"God damnit Ronnie!" Screaming, every single time you're hiding in an alley he finds you. At least it is him that finds you and nobody else. "No it's not weed, they test for that. Hemp cigarettes." You give him a glare. 

"You didn't tell me you smoke." Teasing, he gets in your personal space. 

"Only when I'm super angry or frustrated. Angry smoke one and done." Irritated from lack of sleep and now this. You’re considering smoking the rest of this pack. 

"Why are you angry smoking?" Nodding at the cigarette. 

"Where were you today?"  Scoffing, you take another drag. 

"You get stranger by the day."

"You're welcome." You give him a mini salute. 

He takes your cigarette and starts smoking it. "I thought Doctors are against liquor, tobacco and illegal drugs."

"I'm more, do as I say, not as I do. Besides, my patients don't give me any lip." Seeing that he's not going to give that one back. You fish the pack out for another one. 

"You don't need those." He grabs the pack before you can open it.

"Excuse you!" He raises the pack above his head as you reach for it. "Ronnie! Give those back!" 

"Talk."

"What?" Stunned, you didn't expect him to counter you so quickly. 

"What exactly made you frustrated?" 

You remain silent. At your reluctance he gives a shrug. "I've got all night."

"Ugh! I don't even know what we are! Are we dating? Are we something? Are we best friends or are we nothing?" With a frustrated groan you start listing off questions that need answers.

"That's why you're frustrated?" Holding back a scoff that's a stupid reason for you to be distracted. 

"NO!" Screaming this is becoming too much. 

"Then what?"

"How about I get the feeling that I'm about to become a piece of property and not my own person anymore." Angrily you try to shove Ronnie backwards. 

"It's not going to be like that." He's shocked that you tried to purposely push him.

"Bullshit." Tears are starting to form. 

"It's not."

"Or how about I don't know if what we have going on is real or are you following fucking orders!" Yelling this you run back inside. Leaving him stunned and still holding the pack. 

After all the progress you two made after the friend incident. Today's events make you question if it was all a lie. If everything since the party was a lie. 

You think he's following orders to be with you? He's liked you from the very beginning. The moment you told him he had to speak up.

No.

He doesn't know why you would think that. He can't have any miscommunication with you. He still feels shitty about the incident at your work. Quickly following you to your apartment. You've already disappeared inside.

"Y/N! We need to talk!" Banging on the door repeatedly. He's surprised when your sister opens it.

"Uhhhh. Y/N can't come to the door right now." There's a very audible thud then Menace 2 Sobriety blasting from the stereo. "Yeah. I wouldn't risk it right now. How about I give you an update later?"

"You sure?" He can't risk it.

Charlie walks into the hall, closing the door behind her. “I don’t know exactly what's going on but I know my sister. She is an asshole. If she’s being mean, it's because she wants to see what your limit is before you walk away. Cruz and our parents fucked her up."

"Shit." Everything is just getting worse.

"But she still likes you so there’s hope. She's stuck with you this long." Shrugging Charlie leans on the wall. 

Her comment doesn't ease his mind. He hears footsteps stop behind the closed door across the hall. She must hear it too because he watches your sister turn towards the same door.

"Mind your own business Randy!" Charlie shouts.

"Does he do this a lot?" Questioning about the nosey neighbor, he points at the door.

"Yup." Charlie nods. 

Irritated, he bangs on Randy's door. The dude needs to learn.

"Yes? Do-" 

"Mind your own business or else." Growling, he glares down at the man.

"O-Okay." Stuttering, Randy can only nod. Quickly slamming his door.

"If he does it again let me know."

"Will do." Charlie heads back to her door. “She needs a ride home Thursday morning. I suggest 7am sharp out front.”

"7am. Got it." Nodding he makes a mental note.

"Oh! You do know her love language, right?" Charlie taps her head as she remembers stuff.

"Huh?"

"Lord she did end up with a Jethro Bodine. Okay you need to Google some shit. But her love language is words of affirmation and acts of service. Also physical touch cause hey we're both touch starved." Shrugging, Charlie plays off the last comment.

"Love language? Is this a real thing?"  Suspicious he’s heard of types of love before but not love languages. 

"Yes."

"Hmm, why are you helping me?" Staring down he finds Charlie’s shit eating grin annoying.

"Shouldn't everyone have a chance at love?" Smirking Charlie walks inside.

Dumbfounded, that's the most honest response ever.

~

"Y/N! Over here." Shouting. From the curb he sees you coming out the door. 

"What are you doing here?" Scowling you weren't expecting to see Ronnie so soon. Unconsciously you walk slower. 

"Charlie said you needed a ride home." He opens the passenger door waiting for you. 

"Of course she did."

Reluctantly you climb inside his truck and he shuts the door. Watching him round the front and climb into the driver seat. You don't really feel like arguing and the quicker you get home the quicker you can sleep this situation away. 

“Don’t you wear scrubs or whatever at work?” Breaking the silence he eyes the baggy clothes you're wearing. 

“We change in the locker room. To prevent cross contamination we only wear specific scrubs while on duty.” 

“Ah.” This is going to be harder than he thought. You're not going to be very talkative today.

"I thought you were giving me a ride home." Glaring, you're suspicious about what's going on. Because he just pulled into a diner parking lot.

"Breakfast first. Home later." Turning the truck off he heads inside.

Shaking your head in disbelief. He really is doing detours so he can take the long way around to your house. Unwilling, you follow him into the dinner. Seems like Charlie is trying to help him get on your good side again. Since this happens to be one of your favorite diners to go to afterwork. Sitting in silence across from him. You might as well get free breakfast out of it. 

"Your sister mentioned Cruz and your parents the other night." Waiting for food he might as well bite the bullet. 

"Cruz is the guy I told you about." Stirring your orange juice with your straw, you avoid his gaze.

"I don't see how it matters years later."

"I'm friends with his sister." Still stirring you look at him like he’s stupid. The Jethro Bodine in him is really coming out. 

"Oh."

"Yes, so you can imagine the scandal that was caused." Leaning back you move your cup out of the way. Neither one of you speaks until the waitress has walked away. 

"Your parents?"

"Dead to me." Irritated no one has really asked about your parents before. Then again you've never gotten this close romantically for anyone to ask about them. 

"You don't talk about your parents." Ronnie reiterates. 

Frowning, you know that statement is actually a question. And you know he means your birth parents. "You don't talk about your parents." You match his stare and tone. 

"My father died in jail. Mom lives with my brother in Fresno."

"They're both alive. I think. Turns out they're really racist and didn't approve of what I wanted. So they kicked me out when I was eighteen because they couldn't legally control me anymore." Shrugging its old news but it still hurts to talk about. 

"Damn." He wasn't expecting that. He was actually expecting it to be something about them not wanting you to be in a dangerous city or morbid job. Shit you're a self made woman. No wonder you act like you do when you're pissed. "Why do you have a hearing problem?" 

"While Cruz was crushing my wrist, his sister intervened. In the process I took a smack to the head and it damaged the bones that help you hear on that side. Besides, I have eardrum scarring." Pointing to your right ear. 

"Shit."

"Yeah that was a fun ER visit. They didn't buy the BS we were telling."

Oh God. You weren't just part of a violent dispute, you were collateral damage. Just thinking about it makes him upset. You've been plagued with incident after incident with Orcs yet you don't hate them. You're a better person than him.

“Any more questions?” You can see the wheels turning in his head. You've thrown him through a loop already. 

“No.” Shaking his head he’s already learned stuff that he wishes he didn't know. 

Finally back at your apartment complex, you're both sitting there awkwardly. You have seriously been thinking about the status of your relationship with Ronnie. There needs to be an official title in place. Because you don't need to be doing wifey shit for someone that you're not seriously attached to. But that's a discussion you don't really want to have but definitely need to have right now. Cause either be together or cut all ties.

"You know how to fix a sink?"  Looking at him you start making a plan on how you're going to approach this. Non-hostile as possible. Pap taught you that Orc men can be emotionally congested or weird about showing true emotions to their new partner. So best to distract while having the conversation. 

“Not really, more of fixing cars than plumbing.” Shaking his head no. Why would you ask that? 

“Come on then.” Opening the truck door you nod at him to follow. 

“What?”

“Come on and show you how.” Nodding again you get out and shut the door. Staring at him until gets out of the truck. 

Once inside your apartment it's obvious that you live here with roommates. Smells of three different people live here. Your apartment is nothing like he thought it was going to look like. Plants are scattered everywhere, an ungodly amount of pillows and blankets on the couch and various Orc religious pieces. 

“This way.” Nodding you lead him through your bedroom to the attached bathroom. 

Once inside the place smells so much of you it is overwhelming. Seems like the plants have started to take over your bedroom as well. 

"Here's the parts and the tools. I'm pretty sure it's just the spring and rubber seat that needs changing but I could be wrong." Opening up the cabinet under the sink, you pull out the supplies you need. Setting the items on the counter. "I can do this but there's one part I need help with." You turn the water off and start working on dismantling hot and cold water handles. 

"Don't you need some sleep?" 

"I have tonight and the next two days off." You see his quirked eyebrow. "What about you? Don't you have anything you need to be doing?"

"No." He really is trying to focus on your face but you're making it hard. Leaning over just so your butt on display. So badly he wants to follow the curve of it with his hands. But the mirror on the other hand is showing a perfect reflection of your tits. The baggy t-shirt is doing what it does, hang down. There's nothing else he wants to do than to roam your body and claim it.

You hear him take another deep breath and barely catch the ear twitch. “What?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Uh huh. Pull these valves straight up.” Pointing at the spots where the handles were you backup to give him some room. "That night we met, how did you feel about me? Before you knew all that stuff about my job." Staring him down you watch for any possible twitch or hitch in his breath, any sign that he might be lying.

"You're cute even with your resting bitch face. I was hoping we could hook up and keep seeing each other." It's odd that you ask him now about what he thought. The way you're staring at him makes it feel like he's being interrogated. 

"Why did you choose the name Sprinkles?" You know he picked that because you refused to be called Baby but Sprinkles is out there.

"Cause it's sweet, it comes in different colors and shapes. Gives things a whole new level of appreciation. Just like you."  

Astonished you don’t know what to say. It's making your brain short circuit that he put that much thought into a nickname when he only knew you for a few hours. The smirk he’s wearing just fuels the fire. 

"Wait here." Darting to the kitchen you quickly grab something. Fixing the sink is now on the back burner. You set the little step stool down in front of him. Stepping up you're now almost eye level. "Don't make me regret this."

"What-?"

Pulling him in by his shirt, you carefully kiss him before he can say anything else. Making sure not to bludgeon your face with his tusks.

"I really do like you. I wanted to make sure that was clear." Whispering it's a struggle to bring your eyes to his and you regret doing so. No response. Just a blank unfocused stare. Shit you read him wrong. Panicking you let go. Your hands have gone clammy and anxiety is spiking. How are you going to unfuck this? This is so embarrassing, you want to die now.

Plan B. Plan B. Abandon everything.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

"That night. You turned me down. Why? I smelled you, you were interested." Growling, you’re starting to be wishy washy. Gripping you by the hips he holds you close, you're not going to try and escape. 

"Yeah I was but I didn't want to be another notch in your belt. I'm not interested in one night stands. I want a relationship." Struggling a little, his hands have you in a vice grip. 

"After everything that's happened? You're stuck with me." He starts chuckling. "As my girlfriend with no influence from Dorghu about it."

"Really?” 

"Yes." Chuckling he pulls you closer if that is even physically possible to whisper in your ear. "I also had quite the conversation with Charlie the other day. Well, she was yelling at me for not knowing things."

"Not knowing what?" Turning your head slightly, you're still able to feel his breath on your skin.

"Your love language." A massively warm hand slides slowly up your back. Making you weak, shaking you to the core.

"D-Did you figure yours out as well?" Stuttering you don't know if you're going to kill Charlie or not. 

"Words of affirmation and quality time. But physical touch isn't bad either." Giving a smug grin, he leans in for another kiss. Making sure to savor this one. 

"Are you assholes done yet? Some of us are trying to sleep." Charlie yells banging on your bedroom door. Jolting you in surprise. 

"It's my apartment." Rolling your eyes, speak of the devil. 

"Well I don't want to hear sex sounds!"

“She’s always interrupting us.” Hiding a laugh it's true. Any time he has tried to get anywhere near intimate with you, Charlie is there to interrupt. 

"Calling the kettle black."  Laughing, you ignore her and pull Ronnie back in. The sink can wait until tomorrow.

[chippedaxe]

𝑨 𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝑷𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒌

ੈ✩‧₊˚

Title: 𝑨 𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝑷𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒌

Warning(s): NSFW, not sure what other warnings ?? Pet names used, unedited (as always)

Pronouns : they/them, non specified genitalia (Or at least I tried to keep it vague)

Synopsis: What was a seemingly harmless prank turns out to cause a helluva lot of chaos.

Pairing: c!Sapnap X gn reader (Sub reader btw)

Word count: 2k

Note: simping for Sapnap hours <3 No one requested it but I suddenly got this idea and was like 'I have to write it, it's what the people would want' and I also wrote it bc Sapnap has no full fics in my masterlist yet <3

* lemme know if I've missed any warnings/tags or if you see a mistake in this fic that I can quickly change (I didn't rlly proof read, I just sorta scanned over it with my eyes)

ੈ✩‧₊˚

2nd POV

You walked to the bathroom after a long day. You were held back a few hours to work overtime without warning and you’re pretty sure that you won’t be getting paid extra, you weren’t in the mood and just needed to relax with a nice shower.

You entered your bathroom and closed the door, you assumed by default that Sapnap wouldn’t bother you since he’s normally such a good roommate and he hadn’t bothered you in the bathroom before! You stripped yourself of your clothes and hung up your outfit that you were planning to wear when you get out of the shower.

You placed the clothes on your sink counter and then approached the shower, your feet were placed on the bath mat as you stood there patiently. You took a deep breath before walking in, you turned both faucets and waited for the water to warm up to a good temperature. You got underneath the water and let the shower rinse off all of the dirt and negative emotions.

You could only hear the water hitting the shower floor since most of the water plugged up your ears, you tried to wash it out but failed so you better hope that no roommate of yours comes in here and plays games while you’re basically half deaf. You grabbed the soap and lathered it in your hands, your soapy hands running over your soft skin.

You came to a pause when you thought you heard something but decided to shrug it off “what would it be anyways? It’s not like Sapnap would come in here” you thought to yourself as you continued washing up. Your hand trailed down to your nether regions and you whined a bit as you cleaned down there, you were just cleaning but your body didn’t know that and so you became a bit aroused.

You ignored the arousal and just continued to have your shower, if you were still horny later on than you’d deal with it but not now. You rinsed the soap off your body and sighed, today was a rough and tiring day but you got through it.

You turned the shower off when you were finished getting clean, grabbing the towel and wrapping it around your body. You got out onto the bathroom mat and started to dry yourself with the towel, you glanced over towards the bathroom sink and your eyes widened.

“Where the fuck did my clothes go?” You asked out loud, your eyes searching the floor just in case they may have fallen down. You groaned in annoyance and wrapped your towel around yourself securely so it wouldn’t fall and then you stomped out to your bedroom to look for the little thief.

You had a look through your drawers to quickly get dressed and confront the troublemaker but it seemed as all your clothes had mysteriously disappeared. You pulled out all the drawers and you searched all the shelves, even your closet was completely empty apart from some scattered shoes.

You whined angrily and then stomped downstairs, your feet dragging along the floor “Sapnap!” You called out to him and he came to your call “what’s up? Like the new look!” Sapnap looked up and down at your towel covered body “Oh hush up! Where’s my clothes? I know you had something to do with their disappearance!” You accused.

“What? Me? What makes you think that?!” Sapnap gasped “they couldn’t have just grown legs and ran away!” You put your hands on your hips “psh, you got me! It’s just a harmless prank..” Sapnap put his hands up in defeat “Good- great, now give them back please!” You held your hand out expectedly.

“Why? I’m liking this outfit you’ve got on right now..” Sapnap teased “oh please, do not start with the flirting again” you rolled your eyes “I can’t give your clothes back right now but feel free to borrow some of mine!” Sapnap smiled “Huh?? Why can’t you give them back?” You exclaimed “if I told you than it’d ruin the whole prank! Just borrow some of my clothes” Sapnap invited you to his wardrobe.

You pouted and entered his room, roaming his closet and just mindlessly picking some of his clothes. “What am I meant to do about my underwear? Can you at least give that back?” You asked “you don’t need underwear, if you do then just borrow some of mine” Sapnap shrugged it off. You wanted to argue with him but found that he had already turned his back to you and left.

You changed into his clothes, his baggy shirt and pants made your body look more boxed up. You tugged at the fabric and it started to cling to your body more “stupid electricity-“ you tried to get it to move away from your curves but it stayed stuck to you.

You walked out into the living room and crossed your arms “When am I supposed to be ‘getting pranked’?” You sighed “oh fuck, you’re looking hella good in my clothes, maybe I’m doin you a favor” Sapnap licked his lips quickly. You scoffed and flicked his forehead “I look good in my own clothes too, you know??” You huffed “I personally think you’d look way better without any clothes, you looked amazing in that towel earlier” Sapnap wiggled his eyebrows at you.

“You’re disgusting!” You laughed at his little flirting attempts “you know you love it, baby!” Sapnap winked “oh I do” you decided to tease back which made the tip of his ears turn slightly red “oh you do? That really warms my heart, c’mere and show me some love!” Sapnap held his arms out to you but you only pushed him away.

“Your offer is very kind but I must decline, I don’t show love to people who steal my clothes!” You told him. Sapnap lowered his head and frowned “What’re you so upset for? I was gonna get you out of your clothes anyways” he jokes around “oh be quiet!” You slap his arm playfully.

He gasps and exclaims dramatically “OUCH! I can’t believe you’ve striked me! All I did was love you and this is how you repay me??” He falls to the ground slowly and fakes his own death “may I have one final request?” He whispered and You leaned down “maybe one..” you decided to play along “can a dying man please have one final kiss?” Sapnap closed his eyes.

You decided ‘fuck it’ and leaned in, your lips pressing against his. He caressed your cheek and deepened the kiss but you were quick to pull away “hey, I don’t go making out with thieves” you smirked “Oh? Maybe you can make this ol’ criminal a good guy again, what’dya think?” Sapnap wrapped an arm around your waist.

You looked up at him and smiled “oh of course, is this thief gonna return my clothes?” You asked “only if you return mine..” Sapnap whispered and started to slowly tug at your collar “hm.. I think we have a deal” you slipped your shirt off and stood there with a bare chest “you look good, baby” Sapnap blew a kiss at you.

You slipped the rest of your clothes off and kicked them away, you were completely naked now “Shit- I can’t believe you were hiding all this from me..” Sapnap came up to you and ran his hands down your sides “my eyes are up here, play boy” you grinned. Sapnap’s eyes snapped from your body up to meet your gaze.

You leaned in and kissed him again, your mouth parting to allow his tongue entrance. You wrapped your arms around his neck and panted slightly as you two were now having a heated make out session. You pulled away for air and gulped down your spit “Sapnap..” you breathed out “yes, Y/n?” He smirked.

“Take your clothes off, it’s unfair” you complained and started to pull at his clothes “calm down. I’ll take my clothes off whenever you ask, baby” Sapnap stripped himself hastily and then posed for you, your eyes narrowed as you stared at him “checking me out?” Sapnap laughed.

Your eyes couldn’t help but be attracted to the large thing hanging between his legs, his cock was huge and throbbing “oh fuck..” you muttered “what was that?” Sapnap got closer “your cock is humongous!” You shouted “haven’t I told you that before?” Sapnap kissed your neck gently as you two were speaking and taking in each other’s beautiful bodies.

His hands rubbed at your hips gently “I’ve been waiting so long for you, Y/n.. I’ve had this crazy attraction to you ever since we met, you were the only one that ever joked back with me..” Sapnap confessed “I always had a soft spot for your stupid jokes..” you whispered softly, “I KNEW IT!” Sapnap hugged you and started to pepper kisses all over your face excitedly.

“Does this mean we’re dating??” You questioned “no it means we’re mortal enemies, of course we’re dating!!” Sapnap joked around “oh wow..” you blushed softly before realizing that you two were in the middle of having sex “oh um..” your face was red.

“Do you need me to stretch you out, do a little foreplay?” Sapnap’s hands caressed your torso, his mouth leaving soft kisses on your neck which left tiny purple marks “ah.. No, I just need your cock now..” you were ready for him! Sapnap guided you to his bed and laid you down onto your back, he then crawled on top of you and smiled.

Sapnap positioned his huge throbbing cock with your tiny hole, you gasped and threw your head back when he started to slide into your slowly “does this hurt?” Sapnap asked when he saw your facial expressions “n-no! It feels so good..” you cooed.

Sapnap gripped onto your hips and started to thrust inside of you, his cock was overwhelmed by the feeling of your tight warm squishy insides. Your legs were quivering and your hands were covering your mouth, you felt embarrassed to have such loud lewd sounds spewing out of your mouth like this but it was hard to control.

Sapnap thrusted harder and faster which made you yelp, tears pricked at your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure that you were getting from his cock stretching your insides “Fuck! Gonna cum-“ you scratch his back, leaving light claw marks on his skin. Sapnap continued to fuck into you roughly “cum for me, baby..” he encouraged.

You went over the edge and came hard, your juices running down your thighs. Your head was thrown back and your eyes were rolling into the back of your head, your back arched and your legs were shaking uncontrollably from the stimulation “FUCK! I love you!-“ you then panted and whined as you tried to catch your breath after just having the best orgasm of your life.

Sapnap came shortly after, his cum leaking out of your hole and down your thighs “shit, sorry about the mess-“ you shut him up with a kiss “clean the mess. Return my clothes. Cuddle me.” You instructed as you tiredly laid down on the bed “will do! I love you too, Y/n” he gave your forehead a kiss before going to clean everything up.

[jisungsmochi]

favorite crime - na jaemin

favorite crime - na jaemin 

this is the second installment for my SOUR series! you can read jeno’s one here! 

a little bad boy!jaemin x troubled (?) but still a ‘goodie goodie’ reader // strangers to friends to partner in crime to strangers again :/ 

word count: 7.2k 

summary: “It's bittersweet to think about the damage that we'd do

'Cause I was goin' down, but I was doin' it with you” 

who would have ever thought that, jaemin, the quiet boy you met in detention, would become your first love? getting involved with his shenanigans was probably the worst thing you could have done in your life. you were lucky enough to love someone like him, someone who excited you, scared you, and most of all, loved you back. but what happens when his actions suddenly have consequences? 

a/n: this summary sucks but i liked writing this alot,, explains why it took me so long to write it oops. 

tagging the bestie: @skrtbabe

//

Know that I loved you so bad

I let you treat me like that

I was your willing accomplice, honey

//

as you walked into the near-empty classroom, you made a beeline for the closest seat to the window. if you were going to be stuck in detention for two hours, you might as well have a nice view. you let out a short sigh to yourself, one hour and fifty eight minutes to go. the supervising teacher was lazily marking her class’ essays, completely choosing to ignore the entrance of na jaemin. he gave her a subtle scoff before stumbling past the desk, making his way to sit behind you. you heard him roughly place his bag onto the surface of his desk. you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to look back and see what he was up to. jaemin was always a mystery to you, and to everyone else in the school. despite keeping himself away from the majority, people had quite a lot to say about the boy. you heard rumours that he got stabbed (which you didn’t believe at all) but your classmate, haechan, insists he had video evidence. if anything, you don’t think you had ever spoken to jaemin in your entire life, but that was all about to change.

thirty minutes into detention and you were beyond bored. everybody was either catching up on school work or trying their best to not be caught on their phones. you opted to staring out the window, eyes following the movements of a particular butterfly. eventually, the butterfly decided it was time to leave your line of sight, causing you to let out a short huff. you heard a soft chuckle, belonging to the previously silent boy behind you. you slowly turned to face him, his eyes immediately latching to meet yours. he had his chin perched on top of his right palm, a cunning grin on his face. you gave him a glare,

“what are you laughing at?” you faintly whisper to him. this caught him off guard, he didn’t expect you to sound so stern.

“an explosion is about to happen” you grew to be more confused, what is he talking about?

“wha-“

“i’ll be right back! s-stay where you are!” your teacher suddenly blurts out, rushing out of her room as fast as she could. the rest of the students all looked over at eachother, some even opting to leave detention entirely.

you turned back to the snickering boy, who clearly had something to do with it.

“what the hell did you do?”

“put laxatives in her coffee” your jaw dropped, how the hell did he manage to do that?

“w-what’s wrong with you?”

“what’s wrong with you? learn to live a little” he suddenly stood up, slinging his bag across his body. his eyes still stayed on you, silently asking for you to follow him. this was one hell of a first impression. you weren’t sure what took over you in that moment, but you found yourself trailing behind na jaemin like a lost puppy as he led you both out of the school gates. he didn’t speak much to you, aimlessly walking to wherever the hell he needed to be.

“so what did you get into detention for?” he suddenly asked you, causing you to stiffen. you weren’t a stranger to getting into trouble, your short temper often being the root of your issues. but you weren’t exactly the most comfortable talking to new people.

“ah you’re a bit shy? i’ll start then, i stole lee haechan’s clothes after gym practice” he smirked to himself, feeling some sense of pride.

“that was you? he was running around school butt naked because of you” you couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory of seeing two full ass cheeks after your history class.

“that’s what he gets for claiming that he has proof i got stabbed? which is ridiculous by the way” jaemin shakes his head before coming to a complete stop. you slightly bump into his right shoulder, quickly stabilising yourself before looking at the quiet cafe infront of you.

“hungry?” you nodded in response, following him into the cafe. he seemed to have known some of the workers, earning you a free croissant and hot chocolate.

“so, i told you why i got into detention, now it’s your turn” he chimed, clearly entertained by having you as company.

“i punched kim yuna in the face” you slightly cringed at your own words. you weren’t the one to be physical in your confrontations, but this girl really struck a nerve.

“sheesh, i saw her earlier, you gave her nose a good bruising, i must say” he couldn’t help but find the entire thing entertaining. this was so odd to you, every person that had witnessed it, thought you went crazy. but here jaemin was, laughing at the situation.

“you think this is funny?” you asked curiously, rather than in a judgemental manner.

“well yeah, i don’t know why you did it, but she probably deserved it” he shrugged, taking a bite of his own pastry. you felt your shoulders begin to relax, infact your entire demeanour had changed. jaemin was the only person that didn’t push you to admit your faults and apologise. he didn’t need to know the whole story, he just took your words for what they were.

the next hour consisted of you and jaemin, sharing stories on some of the mischievous things you had gotten up to in the past. from small things like setting off stink bombs during an exam, to running from the mall cops after stealing a pair of pants from a store. jaemin liked your reactions to his stories, at first your face would be full of shock, then turn into some sort of enlightenment. he found it quite endearing to watch. he wasn’t too bad on the eyes either.

“need me to walk you home?”

“i don’t need you to do anything for me” jaemin just smirked at your response,

“but i wouldn’t mind if you did”

“ah i see how it’s going to be”

“what do you mean?”

“our relationship, it’s going to be very push and pull” what on earth was he on about?

“you got that from just spending a few hours with me?” jaemin nodded, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.

“i think we’ll be spending a lot of time together” was all he said back. if you had told yourself earlier that day, that you’d become na jaemin’s partner in crime, you’d punch yourself in the face. but this was only the beginning.

//

from that day onwards, you would purposely seek out jaemin’s presence. whether it be you walking to the most isolated parts of school, or simply trying to get into detention in the case he was there again. as a result of the laxative prank, jaemin had earned a two week long suspension. you had caught wind of this information from the school’s chatterbox, haechan. you’d think after being humiliated by jaemin, he’d keep his name out of his mouth.

you decided to visit the same cafe you accompanied jaemin to, incase he was hanging out there. you weren’t sure why you wanted to be around him so much. if anything, you were more at risk of getting another detention, or becoming a social outcast. but you were going to take those chances.

as you entered the cafe, your eyes scanned near and far for any sight of the black haired boy. you were about to give up, when you heard a voice,

“stalking me now?” you immediately froze, too nervous to turn back. you felt jaemin’s hand on your shoulder, slowly turning your around to face him.

“i-i no it’s not what it looks like-“

“it’s fine, you must have missed me, no?” he let a cocky grin land on his face. you just rolled your eyes, ready to walk right back out that door.

“let’s get up to some trouble today” he gripped your wrist gently, dragging you out of the cafe. he didn’t let go of you, once again, you were aimlessly following him. why did you let him do this to you?

jaemin wasn’t too much of a talker, he tended to try and speak with his eyes. you found it interesting, the way he expected you to know exactly what was on his mind. he eventually stopped walking after reaching an abandoned building. you were beginning to feel slightly anxious, noticing that the sun was slowly setting and the breeze was getting cooler. jaemin plopped his carry bag on the concrete floor, you heard clinking sounds erupt from the bag. he moved to pull out a few spray cans.

“ever graffitied?” you shook your head,

“not spray painting, but i’ve drawn some not so pleasant pictures in the bathroom stalls” you shrug as he handed you a can of bright yellow spray paint. he slightly chuckled at your anecdote, which made you look down at the ground.

“well you won’t get in trouble for messing up this place”

“what is this place anyway?” you start to shake the can, watching as jaemin started spraying onto the blank wall.

“somewhere i come when i don’t feel like going home” you weren’t sure if you wanted to press him to elaborate, so you just nodded, beginning to spray a random design of your own.

jaemin found hanging around you quite amusing. you were always up for anything he wanted to do. you seemed so cheerful about the simplest things, and never pushed him to explain the questionable things about himself. you were a lot different than the people he would usually surround himself with. but like many things in na jaemin’s life, they often went sour very quickly.

//

And I watched as you fled the scene

Doe-eyed as you buried me

One heart broke, four hands bloody

//

jaemin had asked you to accompany him to the abandoned building one night. you were half asleep and freezing to death as you approached his car. it was quite beat up, making you worried,

“is this thing even safe to be driving?” you groan as you wrap yourself in your large puffer jacket. jaemin had previously insisted you bring a sleeping bag and pillow. you chose not to question it, too tired to argue back with him.

“don’t disrespect my sweet ride! be grateful i didn’t make you walk in the cold” he scoffed before starting the engine. the car ride was fairly quiet, you were drifting in and out of sleep, in which jaemin noticed. he thought you looked so peaceful, so he tried his best not to make any sharp turns or run over many speed bumps. in a matter of time, he parked the car, gently wiggling your shoulder. you woke up instantly, feeling his cold hand on your cheek. you furrowed your eyebrows before following him out of the car. he led you to the same wall you both had graffitied on before, but this time, it seemed to have become a complete picture.

“i wanted to show you this! isn’t it cool?” he gleamed, pulling you to his side, slightly rubbing your shoulder to warm you up. you quickly ignored his touch, focusing back on the wall. it was a mirage of different doodles and words that must have meant something to jaemin.

“this is amazing, you did this all by yourself?”

“yeah, i really wanted to see your reaction”

“what does it all mean?”

“it’s kind of a representation of what goes on in my mind? i’m not the best with expressing my feelings with words, so i decided to let it out on this wall” jaemin spoke with such ease, his voice filling your ears with warmth. he pulled you closer to him when he saw you shiver,

“care to share?” you slightly joked. jaemin never got too deep with you, so you assumed he would brush the comment off. but he just stares back at you, his eyes piercing into your own. you held your breath as he leaned in closer to you.

“sure thing” he slowly leads you back to the car, turning on the heater as you both wrapped yourselves in sleeping bags. you were huddled up in the back seat, your head leaning on his shoulder as he played with his fingers.

“i never had an outlet for my imagination. my parents weren’t the most warm or loving people in the world. i barely remember anything from my childhood, except for the unpleasant memories. when i started hanging out with some of the older kids, they showed me the ropes of their crew. they taught me how to graffiti, how to carve things with a pocket knife, you know, basic seventh grade stuff” he let out a soft chuckle, but you didn’t laugh. instead you placed your hand over his, feeling the coldness shoot through your body.

“i-i don’t like showing how i feel. because i think it makes me weak, or pitiful. that’s a bad way of thinking, but i can’t help it. so i let out my frustrations here, by either spray painting or smashing random things. it’s nice to get it all out” he stops speaking, his posture suddenly stiffening. you lifted your head from his shoulder, forcing him to look over at you.

“i’m here to listen to you. you don’t have to result to destroying things in order to reveal your feelings. you can just talk to me next time, okay?” you assured him, tightening your grip on his hand. jaemin just nodded, his eyes faltering from yours. why were you so considerate towards him?

“wanna know why i punched yuna in the face?” you saw jaemin crack a smile, nodding frantically.

“she said some things about my family, how they only took me in because they felt sorry for me. see, i’m actually a foster kid, my real parents weren’t in the ‘right state of mind’ to take care of me. well, in the eyes of the law atleast” jaemin didn’t know how to respond, opting to pulling your head back into his shoulder.

“i know she was just trying to rile me up, my foster parents aren’t terrible. but hearing those words just struck a nerve. how can people be so judgmental?”

“that’s just life, love. everyone will always have their own opinions, but it’s up to you, on how to respond. or you can simply choose to ignore them, it’s always worked for me” jaemin started tracing small patterns on the back of your hand, feeling his eyes become drowsy.

“but i don’t want to always ignore my problems. i want to be able to face them, how else will i grow as a person?” you sighed,

“we grow each and every day, most of the time we don’t notice. you’re doing better than you think. sure, you’ll grow up soon enough, you’ll develop your own identity, but for now, enjoy the moment. don’t care too much about what others think, this is your life to lead” jaemin looked down at you, feeling a warm sensation reach his heart.

“for someone who doesn’t like speaking his mind, you sure give some great advice. promise we’ll be there for eachother?” you pull out your pinky finger from his grip, watching as he blinks for a few seconds. you sensed some hesitation, but blamed it on him being tired. eventually, jaemin linked his pink with yours, sealing it with a gentle press of his lips. you couldn’t hide how flustered you had gotten, burying your head in his chest as he started stroking your hair.

“thankyou for being with me tonight” he mumbled as he felt himself fall asleep,

“anytime”

//

sometimes jaemin would leave you hanging for days on end. at first you would get concerned, mainly for his own safety. you were never sure what he got up to in his spare time, and to be honest, you didn’t want to know. but after a certain amount of days, he would pop back into your life that nothing happened, as if no time had passed. today was one of those days. he was sitting on your bedroom floor, flicking through your history notes. you couldn’t pry your eyes away from him, he looked so peaceful.

“you’re so much smarter than me” he huffs, scratching his head as he closed your notebook.

“no way, i’m pretty average. you’re more street smart than i am” jaemin perks up at your words,

“i guess i am huh” he smirks to himself, making you slightly smile.

“i can help you study if you want, you need a pass, right?” you scooted over to him, sitting so that your shoulders brushed against eachother.

“well yes, technically. but passing doesn’t secure i’ll get into college. not that i can even go” he shrugs, eyes focused on his rings, beginning to fiddle with them.

“what do you mean?”

“i don’t have the grades, my parents barely have any money saved for my college fund. i don’t have a job, you see the issue here?” you sensed him stiffen up next to you, this topic clearly striking a nerve within him. you placed a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it,

“you know college isn’t for everyone. i’m sure you will be able to live a good life” jaemin knew you were trying your best to cheer him up. but these were constant thoughts and struggles he had been dealing with for what seemed like a lifetime. he knew you would never fully understand, and he couldn’t be mad at you for that.

“y-yeah, i’ll be fine” he sighs, linking is fingers with yours. you worried about jaemin so much, it slowly began to take over your mind. you caught yourself thinking about him more often, how you wanted to be there for him during his dark times. but jaemin always shoved off the idea of getting too deep with his emotions. sure, he trusted you with most things, but there was always a thought in the back of his mind. you were way too good for him.

//

“what is this?” you smiled brightly at the boy standing across from you. he was leant up against your locker, gift bag in his hands, shoving it towards you.

“a token of my appreciation for our growing friendship” you chose to ignore the last word, your feelings towards jaemin still being undecided.

you slowly open the bag, your eyes landing on a small box. you furrowed your eyebrows, before opening it.

“t-this is beautiful, jaemin. how did you afford this?” you gasped, pulling out the shiny necklace from the delicate box. it was a silver chain, that sparkled under the light at just the right angle. there was a small pendent latched onto it, a butterfly.

“don’t worry about that, do you like it?” he grinned at you, taking in your ecstatic reaction,

“of course! i cant thank you enough!”

you pull him into a warm hug, arms tightening around his torso. jaemin chuckled softly, bringing his arms to wrap around your frame, slowly swaying you side to side.

“being there for me is enough, i promise”

//

The things I did

Just so I could call you mine

The things you did

Well, I hope I was your favorite crime

//

the following few days, jaemin went MIA again. you were beginning to become annoyed by his lack of communication. you wanted to believe he was gone for good reason, but something in your gut sensed something worse was happening. that’s when you decided to go to the abandoned building, remembering he often went there when he wanted to be alone. not having a car of your own caused many issues in your life. like right now, you were huffing and puffing once you hopped off your bicycle. you quickly set it aside, making your way to the building. before you turned to the main corridor that you met jaemin in many times before, you heard hushed voices, one belonging to the boy in question.

“we need this deal done asap. no excuses” a deep voice echoes through the building. you couldn’t get a good look at them without being caught, so you remained hidden behind a huge slab of concrete.

“b-but what if they think i’m scamming them because i’m new?” jaemin squeaked. you had never heard him so worried before.

“well you better think of some way to get them to buy, we can’t risk anymore losses. take this as initiation into the big boys club” what the hell was going on?

soon enough, the small group of men had left the building, walking past the concrete slab you were hiding behind. you let out a sigh of relief before rushing to jaemin. his eyes widened at the sight of you, part of him wanting to yell at you for being so stupid.

“what are you doing here?!” he was mad.

“i could ask you the same thing” you scoffed. jaemin suddenly became quiet, eyes avoiding yours.

“what’s going on? and i want the truth. the whole truth” he just sighed, dragging you back to his car. you folded your arms, in disbelief from what you had heard prior.

“i-i’m helping them with some deals okay? it’s just a side hustle to get some cash, i want to get out of this town. this is the only way”

“what are you dealing? drugs?” you gasped, watching as jaemin snapped his neck to face you.

“yes, it’s not as bad as you think-“

“not as bad? they’re literally part of a gang. do you know what happens to people who don’t seal these deals?” you couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“i know the risks. but i’m desperate. i just need enough to buy an apartment in another city and finally start my life” jaemin doesn’t know why he’s bothering trying to explain this to you. he brushed his fingers through his hair roughly, letting out a groan as he did so.

“when i said there are ways for you to live a good life, i didn’t mean deal drugs. i meant get an apprenticeship or something! literally anything but this”

“there’s nothing you can do to change my mind. i already swore i’d do this deal. i need the money. you wouldn’t understand” jaemin struck back, feeling attacked by your words.

“what the hell is that supposed to mean? i-i can’t do this. come back to me when you’ve come to your senses. this is stupid and you know it” you rush out of his car, causing jaemin to trail behind you as you stumbled to find your bike.

“come with me” you stopped in your tracks.

“pardon?”

“come with me to the deal. i-i don’t want to go alone” he says barely above a whisper,

“you’re crazy if you think i’ll follow you like a lost pup-“ jaemin pressed his lips on yours, hands stuck to your waist, gently rubbing your sides as he deepened the kiss. your words became jumbled as he continued to kiss you. as much as you wanted to argue back with him, feeling his lips on yours was only something you had experienced in your dreams.

“please” he whispered, pulling away from you momentarily.

“o-okay” you whispered back, hands now on his shoulders. jaemin smirked with pride before pulling you in once again. he led you back to his car, dragging you into the backseat. he began trailing kisses down your neck, erupting a pleased sigh from you. and just like that, you were wrapped around his silly little finger.

//

you were now seated in the passenger seat of jaemin’s busted ass car. your nerves were off the charts, and so were his. you had never seen him so anxious before, he was breathing in quick successions and couldn’t stop shaking.

“just get it over and done with...okay? get in and get out” you try your best to ease his nerves but how much could you really say? you were encouraging him to commit to a drug deal, this was not how you expected your friday night to go.

jaemin just nodded, clutching onto something in his jacket pocket. he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, gently stroking your hair as he did so.

“thankyou for coming with me” he mumbled. you just nodded, trying to ignore your intense gut feeling that something was going to go wrong. he led you by your waist into the noisy bar. you kept your head down, allowing jaemin to gain sight of the clients. he didn’t let you approach the group of men, so you tried to distract yourself with a random fruity cocktail from the bar. it wasn’t enough to push aside your worries.

after what seemed like hours, you caught sight of jaemin, who seemed like he was in a rush. he quickly scooped you away from your seat, swiftly leading you out of the bar. before you could even open your mouth, he interjects,

“no time for questions, get in the car now” he harshly shoved you into the passenger seat. now you were more worried than before.

“what the fuck is going on?!” jaemin didn’t answer you, starting the engine of the car. before you could press him any further, the same group of men rushed out of the bar, eyes scanning for the boy next to you. this wasn’t good.

“may or may not have given them the wrong amount...nothing a little hide and seek can’t fix!” jaemin tried to laugh it off, but you knew he was equally as scared. his dingy car wouldn’t start, adding to the panic in the atmosphere. the group of men were already in their own vehicle, approaching jaemin’s car rather quickly.

“fuck fuck fuck” he began shouting, slamming his foot on the accelerator as the car hurled forward. in a matter of time, he was speeding down the street. he probably ran a couple red lights and a few stop signs, but he wasn’t fazed. you on the other hand, were about to throw up. jaemin kept taking sharp turns to throw off the car chasing you, he barely looked back. you were terrified in this moment. anything could go wrong, one wrong turn, and it could all be over. soon enough, he stopped right outside the all too familiar abandoned building. he was out of breath, the adrenaline still present in his system. you were completely frozen, still in shock at what had occurred.

“wasn’t that riveting?” he smirked. he fucking smirked?

“are you kidding me? that was fucking insane. d-don’t do this again. i don’t want any part of this anymore” you began tearing up, feeling your heart pump out of your chest. jaemin’s face dropped as he tried to hold your hand, in which you pulled away immediately.

“t-take me home. please.” he didn’t say anything back to you. he respected your wishes and took you home safely. you didn’t even want to think about the punishment he would receive from the gang for messing up the deal. the only thought of your mind was your own safety. jaemin risked your safety this time around. you would have done anything for him, but in this moment, you were beginning to regret it. na jaemin was trouble. and you needed to stay away from trouble.

//

staying away from na jaemin was harder than you thought. subtle glances from across the classroom or school courtyard wasn’t doing you any good. so you sought refuge in the library. somehow he managed to find you there too.

“y/n, please, talk to me” you continued to read the novel you weren’t interested in, trying your best to remain angry. he sat across from you, pulling down the book from your face, eyes begging to meet yours.

“there’s nothing left to say” he just sighs, never seeing you be so stubborn.

“i know what i did was wrong, i shouldn’t have put you in that posit-“

“can we please not discuss this here? where anyone can hear us?” you quickly interrupt him, pulling him to the school parking lot. out of habit, jaemin led you to his car, opening the passenger side door for you. you got chills as you sat in the seat once again, the memories flooding back.

“i-i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have brought you into it. i just didn’t want to be alone...you’re the only person who doesn’t make me feel alone.” jaemin could barely look at you, too embarrassed of being vulnerable.

“you know how i’m against what you’re doing. and i know i can’t change your mind. i just can’t keep worrying about your safety. it hurts me knowing that you could get hurt one day” you began sniffling, which made jaemin’s heart ache. he pulled your face to meet his own, staring at your soft features. he slowly guided his fingers to wipe away your tears.

“don’t worry too much about me, love. i’ll be just fine” he pressed a soft kiss to your lips, and just like that, you were dragged right back into his arms.

“be careful” you whispered against his lips,

“always”

//

You used me as an alibi

I crossed my heart as you crossed the line

And I defended you to all my friends

//

jaemin wasn’t careful. not in the slightest. he showed up at your window, hands clutching to his lower torso area as he stumbled into your room. you hushed him to be as quiet as he could but you immediately knew something was wrong. he practically fell to his knees, soft whimpers and sighs leaving his mouth. you quickly moved to turn on your lights, taking a better look at the boy in pain. your eyes travelled along his face, covered in scratches and bruises.

“you good with playing medic tonight?” he joked, trying to relieve the tension. but you were not having any of it. you pulled him into your bed, allowing him to lay on his back. he had an array of cuts over his body, including a large gash on his lower lip. you swiftly rushed to the bathroom, grabbing your not so impressive first aid kit, but it would have to do for now. you tried your best to disinfect what you cold, until you reached his torso. you saw there were specks of blood leaking onto his t shirt, which made you more worried than you were initially. jaemin just sighed, lifting up his shirt slowly. your eyes were glued on the painful wound plastered on the right side of his body.

“d-did someone stab you?!” you felt tears prickle the side of your eyes. how could he be so stupid?

“n-no, its just a cut, it’s not even that deep” he tried to play it off, but the moment you pressed the cleansing wipe onto the wound, he winced.

“stop playing the tough guy. i hate when you play tough guy” you groan, trying your best to tend to his wound. jaemin watched as your expression changed from one of concern, to annoyance.

“hey, don’t be mad at me, okay?” he brought his hand to hover over your thigh, gently stroking his fingers on the surface.

“i’m sorry” he whispered, trying his best to sit up, but you immediately pushed him back down. you moved to lay next to him, allowing yourself to finally look him in the eyes.

“i can’t always be here to take care of you like this, jaemin. as much as i want to, there are going to be times where i just can’t. you have to understand that”

“of course, i didn’t expect you to be my personal nurse or anything. i just don’t want you to leave” his words sank deeply into your thoughts.

“i-i won’t leave”

“thankyou. i promise i will take you out and we will have fun. like old times. we can go on a road trip, or even that stupid homecoming dance you keep talking about. i’ll do anything to make it up to you because i ca-“ he immediately stopped himself, clutching his side.

“just get some rest, we can continue this discussion another day. goodnight jaem” you just sighed, turning on your back to face him. jaemin didn’t know why he couldn’t finish his sentence. he does care about you. more than anyone else in the world. but why couldn’t he just say it?

you on the other hand, were too busy imagining your future with jaemin. would he be there as your partner in crime for life? or was he just someone passing by to teach you a lesson? you weren’t too sure you wanted to find out.

//

“y/n, principal lee wants to see you in his office” your economics teacher informed you during class, eyes of classmates following you as you left the room. you swore you hadn’t done anything remotely mischievous lately, besides snatching a cheat sheet for the upcoming final.

“ah yes y/n, please take a seat” principal lee invited you into his office. you tried your best to stay focused on the stubby man in front of you but you couldn’t ignore the two police officers standing to the side.

“you wanted to see me, sir?”

“yes, these officers are here to ask you some questions. don’t worry, you aren’t in trouble. they just need some information for their investigation” he explains as best he could, shifting the conversation over to the two officers.

“as principal lee mentioned, we just need information. are you comfortable with us asking you a few questions?” you slowly nodded, hands beginning to clam up.

“we have reason to believe your friend, na jaemin, has been involved in an incident that occurred last thursday. he claims he was present with you that night. can you confirm this?” you immediately froze. you swore you didn’t even blink. that was the night he came to your window, all banged up a bruised. but you couldn’t tell them that part. so you went with a variation of the truth,

“yes, he was with me, we often study together and watch movies on thursdays.” you tried your best to maintain eye contact, not wanting to draw any more attention.

“have you noticed anything odd in his behaviour lately?” you knew they were just following protocol, but you weren’t prepared for any of this.

“not really. he is quite reserved naturally, but there hasn’t been anything too alarming, in my opinion” the officers just nodded, scribbling down your words.

“thankyou for your time, if we were to need any more statements from you, would you be okay with that?” you simply nodded, wanting nothing more than to get back to class.

“great, we’ll be heading off now, thankyou principal lee, and y/n” you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. what in god’s name happened that night?

“why were the cops coming out of the office? did you do something?” your friend, jimin asked you as she rushed to your side.

“n-no, they were asking about jaemin” you sighed. you didn’t want to tell her much, knowing she wasn’t his biggest fan.

“y/n, you have to stop hanging out with him so much. he’s bad news. i mean, he’s got the cops questioning you? is that someone you really want to be with?” you knew she had your best interest at heart, but she didn’t know jaemin like you did. no one did.

“don’t talk about him like he’s some pest in my life. he makes me happy, okay? i’d do pretty much anything for him” you huff, beginning to walk away.

“but would he do anything for you?” her words made you stop in your tracks. she was right to question that. god, even you questioned it sometimes. would he?

//

And now every time a siren sounds

I wondеr if you're around

'Cause you know that I'd do it all again

//

jaemin insisted he take you to the homecoming dance — he even pinky promised you.

“jaemin! i’m so excited for tonight, what time are you coming by?” you excitedly squeal into the phone, making jaemin slightly chuckle.

“uh love, i-i don’t think i can make it tonight” you felt your heart drop.

“what? why?”

“i have some business to take care of. i promise you i’ll take you out soo-“

“i think you should stop making promises you can’t keep. hope you have fun doing whatever you’re doing” you immediately hung up, wiping the stray tears from your face. you quickly pulled yourself together. showing up alone to the homecoming dance after you told your friends you were going with jaemin, was probably one of the most embarrassing things you had ever experienced. they all felt pity for you, dragging you to dance, trying to get you to forget about jaemin. but nothing was working. you were beyond disappointed, partially in yourself, for believing he could actually keep his promise.

the moment you got home, you saw someone sitting on the steps just outside your front door. you let out a loud sigh, hoping he heard everything. you wanted to push right past him and go to bed, but jaemin trapped you in his arms. you felt something was off about him. he was stiff as a board, he didn’t say anything to you. you finally got a glimpse of his face, his right eye was swollen and there was a slight gash on his cheek. you immediately gasped, all your anger towards him had fizzled away.

“w-what happened?” you barely whispered, bringing your hand to the side of his face. jaemin winced as he felt the touch, quickly pulling away.

“finally got what was coming” he tried to laugh it off, but he knew you weren’t going to laugh back. instead, you allowed him to follow you to your room, hoping your parents were fast sleep.

jaemin slowly made his way to sit on your bed. you felt like he had something else he was hiding from you, but your main focus was yet again, tending to his wounds.

“i’m getting some real déjà vu right now” you sighed, cleaning his face. jaemin tried his best to not move, but everything stung. he really got it bad this time.

“i’m sorry for breaking my promise. i know how much the dance meant to you” he softly muttered, eyes avoiding yours.

“i-it’s okay”

“no it’s not! you do so much for me, and i couldn’t even do this one thing for you. i feel so shitty. why do you even keep me around? i’m deadweight and that’s trouble for someone with wings” he scoffs, replaying harsh words he had heard from others in the past. you slowly plucked away the medical kit, turning to face him properly. (a/n: not me using a quote from the show ‘panic’)

“you’re not deadweight...you’re a good person, jaem. you’re good to me, that’s what matters” you gently push away the stray strands of hair that covered his forehead. he smiled at your touch, leaning into your palm as you brought it to cup his cheek.

“i love you”

you almost choked on your own saliva...he loves you?

“w-what?”

“yikes, not the response i was hoping for” he yet again, tried to relieve the tension with a joke. but you weren’t having any of it.

“can you be serious for one minute in your life? you can’t just say something like that and not expect me to freak out! i mean, do i love you too? of course i do! i would be stupid not to, but jaemin, you cant just spit that out of nowhere!” you began pacing around your room, which made jaemin smile even wider.

“well i just did. and i mean it” he stood to meet you, standing in the middle of your room as he held your shoulders in place.

“s-so what happens now?” jaemin hesitated for a moment, did he just ruin everything?

“we can’t be together”

“pardon?”

“i-i can’t do that to you. i can’t let you be with someone like me. i’m constant danger. the cops are going to get me one day, and i don’t want you to see it happen” he started rambling, you were barely understanding anything.

“this makes no sense. you’re telling me that you love me but you can’t be with me? why would you do this to me?” you started sobbing,

“i-i don’t expect you to understand. i just needed to tell you before...” he paused, pulling you closer to him. but you pushed yourself away. you didn’t want to hear anymore but forced yourself to listen. you needed answers.

“before what?” you gritted through your teeth,

“before i leave” your eyes widened, tears stopped flowing for a moment. you couldn’t make out any words, allowing jaemin to explain,

“i cant stay here, not in this town. i need to go somewhere else. somewhere they won’t find me. somewhere i can start over” he sighed, sitting back down on your bed.

“take me with you! we can go tonight, i don’t care where i am, as long as you’re with me i’ll be okay!” you begged, pulling out your duffel bag from under your bed. but jaemin quickly gripped your wrists, pulling you to sit with him on the bed.

“y-you can’t come with me. it’s not fair on you, or me. i want you to have a better life, a life with no regrets. you have so many goals, i can’t hold you back from them. i won’t” he insisted, holding your hands in his as he pleaded you with his eyes. you weren’t thinking straight, everything became so overwhelming.

“why are you doing this to me? i cant do this without you! i cant get through all of this without you. please don’t leave” your hands began to shake. jaemin brought them to his lips, placing soft pecks on each knuckle in an attempt to calm you down.

“you can. i know you can. because you’re you. an incredibly loyal, intelligent and courageous person. you don’t need me. if anything, i need you more” he smirked at the last part. you kept shaking your head, not believing anything he was saying.

“just promise me one thing?” he whispered, leaning in closer to you so that your foreheads touched.

“don’t forget me. don’t forget all the things we got up to. i had so much fun with you, more fun than i’ve had in my entire life. i can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. i love you, okay? i’ll always love you” finally, he kissed you. his hands dragged to your waist, rubbing over the soft skin. you shined into the kiss, partially still upset with his departure.

“can we just have one last night together?” you pulled away, wiping away the rest of your tears. jaemin softly nodded, pulling you down onto the bed, wrapping his arms around you.

“thankyou for being my partner in crime. i’ll miss you” he sighed, gently scribbling random doodles on your arm with his fingers.

“i miss you already. maybe one day, we’ll meet again? i don’t know, am i being silly?” you didn’t want him to answer, afraid he’d break another promise.

“you’re not silly at all. we’ll see what life has planned for us” he responded. that was enough for you. you’ll leave it up to fate. you were just happy you were spending one last night with the boy you loved so dearly.

//

It's bittersweet to think about the damage that we'd do

'Cause I was goin' down, but I was doin' it with you

Yeah, everything we broke and all the trouble that we made

But I say that I hate you with a smile on my face

Oh, look what we became

//

you awoke the very next morning in an empty bed. your heart sunk, knowing jaemin was gone had finally hit you. your eyes drifted to where he once was, landing on a piece of paper.

‘go to the building for one last goodbye. i hope you like it.

- jaem <3 ‘

you quickly got changed and rushed there as fast as you could. would he be there to bid you farewell? you weren’t betting on it, but was still curious as to what he had to show you. you made your way into the building, your eyes cascading over all the graffiti. finally, you saw exactly what he left for you. he painted over the mural you both worked on. it had been replaced with a painting of a butterfly. its wings were all different colours, you could tell he spent ages on it. you finally reached the bottom of the artwork, a small inscription was engraved,

‘for the one with the wings, keep on soaring’

“so cheesy, i hate it” you joke to yourself, smiling at his words. this was his final gift for you. as you admired the painting once again, memories of all your little adventures came rushing back. everything you did together seemed like an eternity ago. although you wished you had confessed to him sooner, or kissed him harder, you knew that he was gone for good. jaemin wasn’t the time to keep many promises, so you’ve learnt. you started to put your faith in the universe. if you were meant to be, then you would meet again. but for now, you were content with everything you had gone through together. you were grateful to have known someone as amazing as jaemin, and you would never take that for granted. you only hoped he would do the same, no matter where you both were in life. you hoped you could both grow wings and soar through life without any regrets.

[shadowsinger11]

Inspiration

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Requested by anon: Could you do a Fred Weasley imagine where he falls in love with Harry’s younger sister. (Maybe a after the war where he lives)

Word Count: 3.3k (my hand slipped oops)

Genre: Fluff, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining etc.

Warnings: Slight innuendo, Fred being cute and hot simultaneously

Tags: @self-ship-love @susceptible-but-siriusexual @hufflexpuff @neovannii @jenniweasley @elf-punk @heart-of-tempered-steel @itseatyourdamnapples

Message me if you'd like to be added!

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Ottery St Catchpole, Devon, England, July 16, 2000

It was a chilly Sunday evening. The summer air buzzed with excitement and the tender aroma of magnolia as tiny white and pink petals were gracefully falling from the huge cherry trees, carried by the light breeze. Twilight painted the horizon in liquid gold and fiery red, soon followed by mellow shades of dark blue that brought countless sparkling stars.

It was getting the slightest bit colder, but it did not matter; nothing else mattered but the loud cheers and cheerful music, celebrating the official bond between a Potter and a Weasley under the wide night sky.

You couldn't have been happier for your older brother, Harry, who was currently dancing with Ginny, his now wife - now and for the rest of his, hopefully, but not really likely, peaceful life. For the longest time you've been wondering how he'd always manage to get into trouble even as a small First year with no experience in the wizarding world whatsoever. Or, perhaps, that was the exact reason as to why evil-battling and rule-breaking were such common practices when hanging out with him.

However, there was no fighting that day. There was no room for worry and fear when the entire Weasley family and their loved ones were gathered on the clearing in front of the Burrow, chatting, laughing, dancing, singing, drinking, celebrating and living for what seemed to be the first time since Lord Voldemort's fall. Danger was practically nonexistent in that blissful moment which was frozen in time, once having looked agonizingly distant and impossible to hope for. But that dream was no longer just a foolish fantasy to heal wounded hearts. It was there, and it was happening in the most beautiful way imaginable.

And suddenly, all those clichés of a married life weren't even clichés. They were simply humble wishes of people who had witnessed far too many horrors in such a short period of time, and only craved stability among the massive chaos. So when you glanced at Ginny, a twirling blur of flaming red hair and a gorgeous wedding dress, you didn't feel the need to comment on how banal the color white was. You genuinely smiled, admiring the pure, exuberant joy, visible in her eyes and scarlet cheeks. Harry looked just as, if not even happier than his wife, dancing in the ridiculous but wholehearted way that only he could, and old memories of him winning the golden egg, training Dumbledore's Army and kissing Ginny in the common room for the very first time flooded into your mind.

It had truly been a long time since you had seen Harry careless and free like that.

You yourself had spent an ungodly amount of hours preparing the yard for the ceremony all day; rearranging chairs, decorating, making sure everything was going by schedule, only to then dance your tired feet off, and though you wanted to continue having fun with Hermione, Luna and the rest of the girls waiting for you, you really needed a break. And a drink.

Excusing yourself to leave the particularly interesting conversation you were having with distant Weasley relatives, you slipped off your black flats that, despite looking absolutely stunning, hurt your feet terribly after an entire day of fussing over the color of napkins and flower bouquets. Barefoot on the grass, you walked over to a chair next to a table which seemed to have been occupied, but judging by the mostly empty glasses and plates, the guests weren't coming back anytime soon.

You tossed your shoes aside with a sigh and rushed to rub your aching toes, hissing from how sore they were.

How has Ginny been dancing like that for hours?

"Enjoying the party, I see?" a familiar deep, slightly husky voice commented, causing you to look up.

It was none other than Fred Weasley, dear friend from childhood, staring down at you, his ever-present charming smirk resting on features and hands shoved into the pockets of his dragonskin suit. But it was his flaming red hair that made your eyes widen - it was carefully smoothed back, shining under the moonlight like liquid iron.

Fred's eyes still contained their famous, loveable mischief, except now slightly tamer and calmer. His firm biceps had visibly grown in size, stretching out the fabric of his coat just a bit to give you a prominent silhouette that caught you off guard.

It had been two years; he had changed so much.

And you were afraid to admit you had too.

You blinked in surprise, processing his uncharacteristically sophisticated appearance before realizing what he had asked you.

"Would've enjoyed it far more if my legs weren't killing me," you groaned half-heartedly and leaned back on your chair. "What's with your hair?"

"What's with your feet?"

"I asked you first," you cut him off. "I bet Ginny is responsible for this."

"Actually…" Fred trailed off, and, whether on purpose or not, ran a hand through the ginger locks to keep them in place, unaware of how you suddenly wished the hand doing the graceful motion wasn't his. "Mum insisted that I looked my best. What can I say, it's not like George and I usually listen to her, but we thought we'd make an exception this time; our sister doesn't get married every day. But honestly, Ginny couldn't care less about how we looked as long we showed up."

"So like usual, you mean?" you giggled. "Showing up is an achievement for you even if you're underdressed?"

Fred beamed, pearly white smile complementing his formal outfit. You wondered if he used that exact smile to effortlessly allure costumers and business partners at work.

He rested an elbow on the table as he leaned forward.

"Come on now, darling. I know you find my messy hair irresistible either way."

His cockiness only caused you to laugh, though Fred was quick to spot the flash of nervousness in your eyes; it brought him immense pride to know he was the one to turn you from confident to adorably bashful and flustered in the matter of seconds.

He was looking at you intensely, expectantly waiting for you to deny his flirty accusation despite your shyness.

"Nah, Weasley. It only reminds me that even at twenty-two you still do not know how to use a comb."

Fred's eyebrows shot straight up to his hairline, mouth agape. For the first time, he actually needed a second to form a reply.

"Didn't see that coming, I give you that. Courageous one, you are."

Your heart fluttered with joy and you openly grinned, shrugging in half-hearted humbleness.

"Perhaps I am."

Speaking to him felt unusually energizing, as though you had jumped headfirst into a chilly lake. It was unfamiliar and it set your nerves on fire, causing your stomach to twist and turn with sensations that left you dizzy, but unbelievably thrilled. And you wanted more of it, you wanted more of him.

"Fancy a drink?" Fred offered, already pouring champagne into a glass before handing it to you, and you keenly took it.

"Thanks, I've been thirsty with all the preparations I was doing."

"Is that why your legs are killing you?"

"Exactly, I've been running around all day, making sure everything was in order… you know, a lot of organizing and the like."

"It must hurt quite a bit then," Fred commented with a pained grimace. "But I absolutely get you, Georgie and I are just like that when it comes to the shop. It's a lot of accounting if I'm being honest, though I admit he's way better at it. We need to be completely precise; we can't allow any mistakes."

"Woah," you laughed. "Control freak much?"

He wettened his lips, never breaking eye contact.

"Perhaps I am."

You tilted your head to the side, gaze piercing into his in hopes of finding out what those gorgeous brown eyes were hiding. The tiny playful flames in them were eloquent.

Shifting slightly in your seat, you smoothed out your bridesmaid dress and raised your glass, the ghost of a smirk playing on your lips.

"Cheers to us control freaks then."

Fred mirrored your smug expression and your glasses met with a clink. The bubbly liquid tingled your throat, undoubtedly refreshing you and cooling you off. You glanced at the people dancing in the centre of the clearing and giggled - Ginny had apparently thrown away her white shoes long ago, bare feet stepping elegantly on the grass.

"You see, I'd like to chat a bit more with you, but I'm afraid it's a bit too loud here. What about we go to the pond across the field?" Fred suggested, pointing at the woods behind his back. You had visited them countless times when staying with Harry at the Burrow during holidays years ago; the tall trees and the glistening waters had never ceased to bring you comfort.

The noise started to become bothersome, and you felt it even more necessary to continue your conversation somewhere private, the unknown causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. Fred's presence could only be compared to a shot of whiskey, or the sensation of anticipating a tidal wave to crash into you in less than a second. It was wild and the tiniest bit terrifying, but oh so tempting as it pulled you in.

"I'd love that, but… you know," you grinned and playfully swang your sore feet. "Can't really walk."

But this didn't at all seem like a problem to Fred Weasley who only shrugged and stood up, "You don't have to. I'll carry you."

"Merlin, no! Please, it's not necessary."

Fred frowned, but his confused expression was soon replaced by an amused one.

"You said it yourself that your feet hurt like hell. And even if carrying you around isn't necessary, it doesn't mean I don't want to."

You attempted to tame the butterflies.

"No, no! You seriously don't have to, I promise," you frantically protested as you held up your hands in front of you to reassure him, but he only gave you a weird look. "I can walk on my own. I'll be too heavy for you."

"There's only one way to find out."

Fred walked over to you and leaned down, one hand sneaking around your waist and the other slipping under your knees. You shrieked in terror, arms flying to clutch at his shoulders, and heat rose to your cheeks from the abrupt contact. Your chests were pressed together, and you were afraid he'd be able to feel your racing heart. His skin was warmer than you had thought, and it successfully fought off the night summer chill.

"Are we going?" Fred whispered down at you, lips so close to yours that you recognized the nuance of champagne in his breath, mixing unbelievably well with the scent of cinnamon and sandalwood of his cologne.

Not only is he sinfully attractive, but he smells heavenly too?

"Yes," you breathed and let Fred effortlessly walk across the meadow with you in his arms. They brought this new, odd, yet familiar sense of security, and you allowed your head to rest against his chest, nervous gaze wandering off into the distance in hopes of not meeting his. Nevertheless, curiosity eventually took the best of you, and your eyes would occasionally flicker to his, which were now completely black under the night sky. They could swallow you whole, you swore.

Minutes later, you found yourselves in the company of old, enormous willows which surrounded the pond you so vividly remembered from your teenage years. You thanked Fred as he carefully let you down, and took a few steps forward to look around and drench in the misty moonlight that enveloped the area. The waters were crystal clear and completely still, reflecting the moon and its majestic silver glow. The bushes had grown significantly over the time you were away, and you fondly looked back at the moments when you would pick up colorful wildflowers in the summer before your fourth year.

"Shall we sit?" Fred asked quietly from right behind your shoulder, and you followed him with a nod. You found a comfortable spot on the fresh grass to sit, a few feet away from where the water met the soil and moved back and forth ever so slightly.

"It's more beautiful than I remember," you noted, lips curled up in a barely visible smile. Fred hummed in agreement.

"That's why I always make sure to come here every chance I get when I return. But, unfortunately, that's very rare in my case."

For a moment, there was only the chirping of crickets and the soft bubbling of water.

Fred turned to you.

"Remember when mum used to call for us to de-gnome the garden and we'd hide here? We could stay in the bushes for hours before we eventually came back," he recalled, seeming deep in thought. It was an extraordinary sight; for once the playful spark in his eyes was more mellow, there was no cockiness seeping into the way he was holding himself. He was just Fred, the man who was currently thinking with so much adoration and love about his childhood, the most significant memories of it being marked by you.

You wondered, given you ever had the chance to spend with Fred as much time as your older brother did, if the charismatic prankster would have fallen for you like you had done. You wondered, given the chance you had let Fred get to know you better all those summers ago, if his heart would have belonged to you by now just like yours did to him.

Had you possibly missed your chance?

"Oh, I do," you sighed, the tension in your chest vanishing as warm nostalgia crept in like an old friend. "I also remember when I got this really bad nightmare that night. I was so terrified that you took me on a ride with your broom in the middle of the night to cheer me up."

"That's true! My parents don't know about it to this day," he replied smugly. "I can still hear you screaming like a lunatic."

You jokingly smacked his arm, "I was twelve!"

Fred's grin grew wider.

"Excuses…"

This only caused you to stare at him in disbelief and cross your arms, managing your most serious expression, but Fred was aware you were on the verge of failing to keep your stern facade. He squinted his eyes as a teasing attempt to provoke you, smile threatening to split his face in two.

"Alright then, that's enough about me," you announced, and Fred nodded in mock agreement as he studied your playful pretence. "If you're so much better than me, Mr Darcy, what else do you do aside from stealing ladies away?"

"Stealing their hearts," he said confidently, flashing you a seductive smirk, reserved only for special girls back in your Hogwarts days. You giggled, finding his antic utterly ridiculous, but you hated to admit that it still turned your blood into liquid fire. Fred apparently saw right through you, because when your eyes landed on his, they appeared completely dark once again, but, you suspected, for a reason other than the lack of light.

Your throat went dry, and you found it hard to swallow down the lump that cut your breath short.

He ran a hand through his ginger hair as he began to explain, "I'm kidding, you know. But to answer your question, George and I have been working on this potion that should be able to change the color of the eyes and hair. Fun for those who enjoy experimenting with their appearance, but it can also be useful to the Ministry. They're actually going to send a team of a couple of aurors to visit us next month so we can update them on our progress and negotiate the details."

"Wow! That's certainly exciting!"

"Is it? I mean, it probably is, but I've been having second thoughts lately if I'm being honest." He scratched the back of his neck, and you realised you had only witnessed him being anxious when it came to his greatest passion. "I'm afraid we might not be done on time, there's still plenty left to improve."

You put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, and said, "I'm sure you'll figure it all out eventually. Keep working as you normally do, try not to stress too much over the deadline, and even if things go wrong at some point, don't go too hard on yourself. It wouldn't take away any progress you've made so far."

Fred's body relaxed just a bit and he looked down at you. He couldn't deny the sense of serenity that he felt only when he was with you. Even as a careless young boy, he was able to pinpoint the way his midriff would clench every time you'd laugh at his jokes or ask him to play with you, without knowing what it all meant.

But now, as a grown man, he had a word to describe the bittersweet fire within.

"You know what?" He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "I could really benefit from having someone like you around to give me motivation."

"Motivation, huh?" you raised an eyebrow, fighting back a smile. Fred sneaked a hand around your waist and pulled you closer.

"Yes, motivation."

"Motivation for what?"

"Marketing strategies, work projects…" he shrugged nonchalantly, "...among other things."

You quickly caught on, suddenly becoming way too self-aware of the way you were practically cuddled into Fred's side, hand resting on his shoulder while his were wrapped around your waist. But his shining confidence seemed to rub off on you, because you asked.

"What's with you offering me a job all of a sudden?"

His bottom lip was tucked between his teeth as he took his sweet time devouring you with his darkened gaze. You didn't know whether you wanted to hide from it, or expose yourself even further to the way it burned its way straight to your core.

"Well…" Fred dragged out in his low, hoarse voice, and caressed your cheek with his thumb before slipping it under your chin to guide it towards his face. You could nearly taste the remaining flavour of champagne on his lips. "I've certainly been feeling…"

Fred went quiet as he got lost in the way you fit so perfectly in his arms; you had always meant to be there, he realised. His mouth crashed into yours, hands tightly gripping your waist, and you let out a gasp. Fred's lips were soft, although slightly chapped, and they moved gently but firmly against yours, turning you into their slave. Your palms naturally slid up his chest and he closed any remaining distance between your bodies by placing you to straddle his lap. The kiss was a dance of pushing forward and pulling back, two lovers having finally found their rhythm after years of living in fearful desire. You were positively drunk on his taste, on him, and you wished to never become sober.

When your need for air overcame the one for physical contact, you pulled away. Your chests were heaving with rapid, shallow breaths, hearts beating in synch like they had always done. You let a finger tenderly trace his cheekbone down to his jawline, then it came back up to draw different affectionate patterns on his face.

"What were you saying?" you asked, clearly out of breath. "How were you feeling?"

He fondly took your hand that was caressing his skin, and lifted it up to press feather-light kisses on your knuckles. His lips retraced their path until they reached the tips of your fingers, and he kissed those with the gentlest of touch.

You heart ached pleasurably from the way he was handling you with such care, much more than you ever believed he was capable of.

After minutes of worshipping you by the moonlit lake, Fred looked back at you as though you were his entire world. And replied with a smile.

"Inspired."

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