#I was so convinced that this was from the 60's or 70's
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this cover is from 1992?!
#I was so convinced that this was from the 60's or 70's#Girl You'll Be a Woman Soon#Urge Overkill#a cover apparently!#Youtube
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Then again I have seen a dude with two dicks on this website.
And sorry if I had two dicks it would be double penetration every time.
Faggots can't do that though because they only have one whole
Women, literally twice as good as men because they have two fuck holes downstairs.
#is this politically incorrect#I want to go into nightclubs in the 60's crazy like Lenny Bruce and tell them what us coming in the 70's with all the fags and disco#I'm telling you man crazy....fucking men in leather pants rectifying each other in New York night clubs#it is like whales beaching themselves#like hi we're taking ourself out of the genetic pool by disease and by unproductive biological insertions#it's like let me catalog this shit....ah yes the material that comes from life after it ingests shit and expels shit#oh you're a buttfucker AND a blood drinker man..... I'm gonna have to delete this shit#what did we do exactly I ask my sister#and she is like well we gave them symbois and convinced them that the power had from them was theirs and meanwhile I pathos amd ethos#your sensory aparatus is so curious to me#I mean....you have ALWAYS fascinated me#on some level hello love lemme adjust it for you before I walk past#balls evenly balanced it was hot out#can you inagine if you just started sucking it right there in public#all the tattoed crowd might get offended#or it is like one of those weird I show up and lightning strikes#you can't make fun of me for the diving board that shit was perfectly timed#like getting ready to jump and the ground just reaches up and pulls a enough voltage to kill all the fags in one hit#When I am in that lucid state of mind near a nap and I am looking up I see a sky#but it's not our sky we see with our eyes no#it's....perhaps a zoomed out perspective looking down on things#pyramid architects...you mean I've stretched old mother earth's ears to the skies#I guess the appartus at that level isn't the body but like you could probably move the body from that state#or move anything I suppose if needed#or rescue a girl in deep shit#in a way I am like who the fuck taught you to go through the wite and she is like baby boy...You did#and look I know my feelings were all mine in class.....we just....vibed....#I am like here we are....right it's RTFM time except I am speaking personally to you#I am like can you see what I am capable of can you feel what I do to her....hahahaha#two strong women and I am like... 🤔....I will make you two my personal fuck whores
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hello !!! i was just wondering if you think there are any other bands peter would like besides nirvana, pink floyd, and rush ?? he gives me classic rock (& just rock in general) vibes tbh !!
anon you just opened up a can of worms !!
i once did extensive research into this. way more than anyone should for a character way past his relevance. and i'm still discovering new tunes i think he'd be into all the time !! i'll try not make this long winded (it will be). but for now...
🎶👾 peter maximoff's (potential) favorite tunes 👾🎶
we already know pink floyd, rush, and nirvana are included. they're shown through the shirts he wears !!
rush is a major one. because unlike the other two, apocalypse era peter has rush all around him !! the rush posters in his basement. the leg cast with "i luv rush." it's safe to say he's kind of a rush fanboy (and he's so real for that because rush is rad as hell).
i have a list of bands/artists i can confirm he canonically likes, as they've been referenced before. whether it be through background clues (posters, background music, etc), or because they were explicitly mentioned by people involved in making the films.
🎶 yardbirds 🎶 the doors 🎶 led zeppelin 🎶 buffalo springfield 🎶 alice cooper 🎶 jim croce 🎶 neil diamond
and while we know he listens to eurythmics (sweet dreams), i don't necessarily include them as a band. just because i personally feel this has less to do with the artist, and more about whatever was mainstream in 1983 (but you can choose to include them if you want !! after all, people mostly listened to whole albums back then).
peter definitely enjoys rock overall. but he doesn't seem averse to mainstream pop either. so we can probably assume he'll listen to anything, as long as it's catchy !!
here's some bands/artists we can assume he likes based on what we already know:
🎶 jimi hendrix 🎶 cream 🎶 the beatles 🎶 fleetwood mac 🎶 queen 🎶 david bowie 🎶 tom petty 🎶 ac/dc 🎶 bon jovi 🎶 journey 🎶 guns n roses 🎶 the eagles 🎶 joan jett & the blackhearts 🎶 deff leppard 🎶 tears for fears 🎶 michael jackson
and if there's some other classics i missed (from the 60's/70's/80's) you think he might like - please feel free to drop me an ask !! i'd love to add more to the list !!
lastly, i'm gonna drop some bands/artists i personally like to think he might listen to. mostly because it's fun to imagine so:
🎶 iggy pop 🎶 bee gees 🎶 thin lizzy 🎶 toto 🎶 a flock of seagulls 🎶 elton john 🎶 u2 🎶 redbone 🎶 madonna (i 100% believe it, you can't convince me otherwise) 🎶 pearl jam 🎶 radiohead 🎶 red hot chili peppers 🎶 green day 🎶 my chemical romance 🎶 beastie boys 🎶 smash mouth 🎶 nickelback (fight me, i dare you)
if you're looking for any specific songs, there's a really awesome playlist i listen to religiously. chai_vibes's "songs peter maximoff would unironically listen to" is so peak !! and i'll go ahead and drop my own peter maximoff playlist too, just because i worked really hard on it !! lol
happy listening !! thanks for hearin' me out !!
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GNAWING ON THAT OC GIVE ME INFORMATION
YESYES OKAY!!! *inhale* SO.
(this all might change later since he's still pretty new)
General info I guess (haven't fleshed out his backstory much yet.)
was a Catholic priest before the AM takeover (obvis)
he's roughly in his mid/late 30's- early 40's
he doesn't have a name yet because I'm stupid.
He lived in the United States when AM attacked. He was born in Poland and moved to the US in his mid 20's. (probably someplace like Texas or Utah... )
probably gay or in some way queer but DEEPLY in denial. (also in my mind IHNMAIMS takes place in the 60s/70s somewhere around that time so like... y'know... also makes room for the religious guilt plotline.)
Kinda stopped believing in god after long enough in AM's complex because like really who wouldn't. throwback to Ted's entire spiel about AM being god y'know the one.( Ik that wasn't meant litterally but the sentiment still works.)
As for his relationship with the other survivors and his torture.
Ellen- He'd most likely be less harsh on her and not really like.... *ahem*. use her. He'd always been a pretty compassionate man he was never like the freaky creep kind of priest/pastor. He can most likely sympathize with her past a bit as well- or atleast as much of it as she's willing to share which I imagine isn't much.
Nimdok- This mf is Polish. He does not like Nimdok. (If we're talking game Nimdok which is what I'm basing this... AU, I guess? off of.) I don't think they'd actively beef but they'd prolly just try to avoid eachother within the group. In terms of book Nimdok I think there's a slight possibility they could've gotten along. Honestly for Nimdok like... (Idr if where I saw this I think it was from a fic somewhere) but I like the idea that he wasn't actually a n*zi but since it's mentioned his memory is fucked AM just convinced him and the others he was so pin them against him and fuck with him some more. idk man allied mastercomputer behaviour. It also makes me dread thinking about him a little less.
Gorrister- Surprisingly, I think they'd get along. Even if they don't share a religion I think they'd find solace in confiding their guilts in eachother, esp with Gorrister's guilt over what happened with Glynis-- also since it's mentioned in the book Gorrister used to be an activist (which I think is more interesting than his trucker backstory from the game so I'm sticking with the activist storyline.) I feel like he's the least likely to be quite as homophobic as the others (cause let's be real here.) so maybe. MAYBE. He'd eventually try talking about some of those buried up feelings with Gorrister. Unlikely though. Overall I think they could be the closest thing to friends I can imagine with their situation.
Benny- I think they could've gotten along pre-monkey'd, (For Benny I like to combine his book and game backstory in my mind so tldr he was a professor and was later fired when it was discovered he was gay and then the enlisted in the military and killed 3 people. boom.) I think Priest oc would've respected them but after the monkey moment I feel like he'd kinda treat him like the family dog just as the other survivors do.
Ted- Ohhh boy. I have some words I'm not sure I'm allowed to use on Tumblr. They'd either get along or beef or some secret third evil and more sinister thing. Toxic without the yaoi. They make eachother worse. I need to map my thoughts out better before I write anything about them out. giggles but not in a good way.
wow I really used this as an excuse to dump about my ideas for the other survivors too huh.
Whilst I haven't sat down to ponder how AM would fuck with him I do know I wanna play off the theme of guilt somehow. I can imagine him being ripped apart by wolves for some reason that's just been like stuck in my head the whole time I've been typing all this out. Also maybe almost something with sacrificial themes? I'm kinda thinking about how Benny's part in the game ends for inspo on that it's hitting the right vibe. Please don't cancel me I'm Polish and all my family is Catholic.
Annon I hoped you liked reading this cause I had fun writing it. Also here he is again for anyone who's seeing this but didn't see the og post.
also I'm SO open to name suggestions for this freak cause I've got NOTHING.
#i yapped so hard#im honestly not sure how much im allowed to say on tumblr#how edgy can i get#i wish i could write#this was fun though#wrote this on the site and it made me realize how diff american vs british spelling is (im canadian)#ihnmaims#i have no mouth and i must scream#i have no mouth and i must scream oc#ihnmaims oc#AM#allied mastercomputer#ellen#benny#ted#nimdok#gorrister#ihnmaims writing#writing#oc backstory#ask#i have no mouth and i must scream fanart#ihnmaims game#drabble
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Okay, so, a things I was just thinking off, I don’t know why, but it’s occurred to me, lots of the male main cast of Hazbin Hotel would have been drafted. A few times. Particularly, Alastor, Angel Dust, and Husk, is who I’m thinking about. Like, if Alastor was 37 or older when he died in 1933, he’d have been eligible from the start of the draft in 1917. If he was 33 exactly he’d have been eligible for the 1918 version in the last few months that lowered the age. He was less than totally white and worked in entertainment, his ass would have been grass if they didn’t have enough money to keep him safe. So now I’m just wondering if Alastor had to fight in WW1.
And Angel was eligible for WW2 draft, no doubt. Except! He was an Italian mobster in New York, so there is a good chance he avoided combat by helping at home. He probably spent a lot of time in his mid-twenties looking out for German U-boats on his father’s orders and doing hard drugs.
And finally Husk. Who if he was in his 70’s when he died in the 70’s, he’d have been eligible for WW1&2 and Vietnam. And if he was in his 60’s? WW2, Vietnam and Korea. Mans was drafted three times and he probably couldn’t avoid WW2. So now I’m convinced that he fought in WW2 and maybe that’s how he caught that travel bug and why he speaks so many languages? He kept getting drafted and he made the most of it because he couldn’t dodge it and once he was old enough to avoid it he settled back in Vegas to be a stage magician or whatever.
But this is all of course looking way too hard into the whole thing, it’s fucking cartoon lol
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What Careers Did The Poets Have When They Grew Up?
✌️ Charlie
Not in any universe can you convince me that Charlie became a banker. He would definitely have rebelled against his parents and found a way to do his own thing. I can see him following in Keating's footsteps and becoming a teacher, maybe a university lecturer rather than high school as students have more freedom there. Alternatively, he could have gone down a more Bohemian path, and become a writer or an artist - I think he could write sci-fi books, even screenplays for comedic shows/films, or get heavily involved in the Pop Art movement of the '60's, like Andy Warhol. I can imagine him starting his career like this and then going on to become a teacher.
🙈 Todd
I would love to see Todd become a therapist or a councillor as an adult. Considering his own struggles growing up, and also Neil's, I think he'd want to rectify those mistakes of his past by supporting the kids of the future - maybe he'd pioneer having councillors in private schools, because Lord knows he could have done with one. On the other hand, Todd's confirmed talent combined with his anxiousness could lead him to becoming a reclusive poet either. Unlike Knox (more on him later), Todd wouldn't have a 'normal' job that he abandons to focus on his poetry - poetry would be his life, and he would spend every hour writing it, even if he never sold a single piece, a la Vincent van Gogh (Keating would 100% buy anything he put out though).
🧍♂️Pitts
Please, God, let this man become a radio show host. Sure, he's shy, but he's clever and he's dedicated. He co-designed and made a radio with Meeks; once it was working they connected 'Radio Free America', and the boy was thrilled. So, I can see him getting on some 'pirate radio' or 'free radio' station in the Summer of Love in the 60's, broadcasting illegally and secretly. If being a radio personality doesnt work out, I think he would become a scientist of some kind, creating new inventions and trying to make lives better.
🤓 Meeks
I'm visualising Meeks as an archaeologist. I love the idea of this guy on a dig, dusting off discoveries, and using his ace language skills to translate whatever's found on them. I think that kind of career would excite him and put all his education and passions to good use. Failing that, he could easily turn his back completely on the education and values that were instilled in him, and 'seize the day' following Keating's influence - I envision him in a band in the 60's/70's. There were plenty of instruments at Welton, so I'm sure Meeks picked up a thing or two about guitar or drums, and he has plenty of time to hone his skills in time for the rock boom - personally, I see him as a drummer since drummers have to keep time, essentially staying in charge of the music.
❤️ Knox
Knoxious has a romantic mind and a unique drive, and I can see him putting that to good use as a poet. He's the only one of the group we see who consistently writes poetry throughout the film, and I think he'd maintain and cultivate that passion in secret throughout his school days and beyond. Of course, poetry doesn't exactly rake in the dollars so, I can see him becoming a lawyer fresh out of school, as expected of him from his parents. However, he would do this only for 10 - 20 years so he can save up plenty of money and start putting his poetry out into the world, and then eventually turn his back on law to focus on his art full time.
📚 Cameron
This boy would be the only one to make Welton proud. He'd become something that all the kids parents wanted them to be - a doctor, or a lawyer, or a banker. Something smart and safe and practical, just like him.
And Neil became a famous actor and lived happily ever after, the end, bye
#dead poets fandom#the dead poets society#dead poets aesthetic#dead poets#dead poets society#dead poets headcanons#charlie dalton#neil perry#todd anderson#knox overstreet#steven meeks#gerard pitts#richard cameron#mr keating#dead poets fanfic
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I'm writing out my overarching headcanon about VIncent's life and how Gaia and it's people looked pre-SOLDIER program because I want too:
I'm of the mind that in Vincent's era, there was a lot of growth like we have in our own day and age, much like the 50s-70s, Midgar would have been a work in progress. Maybe only one or two upper plates would be finished and livable, but a sizable undercity was already underway to growth.
I believe that this would be when the beginning of the science department of Shinra would truly begin, so Shinra would have been using the Turks as more of their heavy hitters as SOLDIER was still a small budding program being thought up by Shinra's defense department.
Seeing as the war between Wutai and Shinra didn't happen until 1985, I'm going to go under the assumption that they were in a cold war with each other ever since the power company began building reactors, so the Turks would be much more utilized than they are now.
I have the headcanon that Vincent and Veld were partners or at least worked with each other when they were in the Turks and their missions would have looked like those of spies and government agents (with different rankings and capabilities. Not everyone would have the same job just like a normal government job.)
I also love the idea of their world having similar clothing styles and music to ours during those years, so Vincent and Veld would have been young adults in the 60's and 70's.
I also think that with what happened to Vincent (getting shot and killed by Hojo), he did actually die physically (lurcrecia even talks about how she can't stop the decaying when talking about Vincent in the tank in DoC) so there would be a loss of memory that Vincent would have from actually dying and being dead for however long.
Like sure, his memory loss could have been slowed by the Mako and experiments, but there would be SOME memory loss. So I think that the man we know now is not the whole Vincent he would have been. The reason I say that is because a lot of the memories he does have are from times at Shinra Manor and nothing really else. It's mostly from Shelke's POV that we get the remaining memories about Vincent's past, and that is from Lucrecia's POV of how she saw Vincent. So my HC is that Vincent has a lot more to him than he remembers about himself.
Anyway long-winded explanation of why I think Vincent Valentine has more than meets the eye and I can justify my more fun version of him XD
Back to it. Here's where my headcanons come in heavy:
I think Vincent's mother is a Wutainese woman, Grimiore having met her in his early years of exploration as a scientist, before things with Shinra started to get more competitive. I believe that when Vincent was a teenager, his mother left for Wutai due to the simmering tensions between the two powers, unable to take him with her as he had no citizenship there and I do not see him wanting to leave his home.
Vincent and Grimiore don't get a long for a while because Vincent thinks his father should have convinced her to stay. He joins the Turks at a young age, having met Veld (who I think is at least a decade older than Vincent) who worked with his father, not really knowing about the ins and outs of what a cold war meant or even who was the aggressor in the conflict. He knew his father worked for Shinra and they were bringing progress to their city and home, wanting to help any way he could.
#Vincent Valentine#Veld Dragoon#headcanon#ff7#final fantasy 7#final fantasy vii#ffvii#Always feel free to be inspired by anything I write#I would literally read five million words about the same shit over and over again
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At Walmart shopping this AM, see a lady wearing a faded "Trump Won" shirt. Older white lady, late 60's, early 70's probably. I've seen her before. Me: Is that shirt from 2016? Lady: (smiles) No, 2020. Me: Oh, I thought Trump lost that one. Lady: Nope, it was rigged! Everyone knows that! Me: Didn't they investigate that? I thought there were several court cases about it. Lady: Nope, but they need to! Rigged all the way! Me: Should they investigate 2016 too? I mean, just to be sure? Lady: No way, "Trump won that one!" (I thought this was an odd response). Me: So, if Trump wins it's legitimate, but if he loses it's not? (If looks could kill, I'd be dead). Lady: Look, (pointing her finger at me) I trust Trump! I don't trust the rest of you yahoos! Are you a Liberal? Me: I'm a Democrat and a Veteran. Does that make me a bad person? Lady: Well, it sure don't help you none! (I assume she was talking about the Democrat part). Me: I just try to understand people's views and discuss politics based on facts. Doesn't that seem reasonable to you? Lady: I suppose. (Not the least bit convinced). Me: Do you believe Trump is truthful, honest? Lady: Absolutely! (Again with the finger) He's the only man who has EVER been in that job that has stood up for me! Me: I do understand your frustrations. But can we agree that if we're going to make a decision on anything we need to be able to agree on what's truthful and what's not. Lady: Oh I guess. (Returns to shopping) Me: Do you believe 1/6 was an attack on our Capital? Lady: (Her head snaps back in my direction and she starts raising her voice, then looks around and lowers her voice to not much more than a whisper), No way! That was Antifa! Me: Okay, do you think Trump believes that? Lady: Absolutely! Me: See, this is the kind of thing I'm talking about. Trump has been calling the attackers hostages. Says they are loyal to him. Says he will pardon them all. Why would he do that if they're Antiva? Lady: (Long pause, puzzled look). Me: You've heard him say that right? Lady: Well yes, but he must be talking about supporters that got caught up in that mess. Me: No, he clearly said he would pardon all participants in the attack. Lady: I don't know, I just know I trust him. Me: Any concerns about the classified documents that Trump took from the White House? Lady: No, those were planted by the FBI! Me: Again - Trump isn't saying that. He is saying that he declassified them with his mind. And no, that's not something he can legally do, but that's what he's saying. (She starts walking away) Lady: I don't think so. Why should I believe a "DEMOCRAT?" Me: You shouldn't. You should research it for yourself. Demand the facts. Lady: Yea, yea, whatever. Me: Have a nice day! Thanks for talking with me! I smile and wave, she waves back over her head as she walks away. I saw her later, in another section of the store. She avoided making eye contact. Nothing new here . . . She is fully dedicated to the cult. Truth is NOT A PRIORITY, it's as if it is diseased. They don't want anything, including reality, to negatively impact their world view!
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FNAF Movie officially announced for Oct.22 🎉 Predictions?
OP edited date to 27th! (Not that it matters :)
I fell asleep with my phone on, so this was the first thing I saw when I woke up so I was a bit like the Mr Krabs meme💀💀
Also, I haven’t seen every single leak or piece of information (I mentioned a while back that I get overstimulated) so these could very well be wrong!
1. My biggest one (walk with me on this!!) is that Vanessa and Michael are going to be related somehow. NOW, HEAR ME OUT!!
The first thing I noticed was that Mike, Abby and ‘Mike’s Mom’ all have dark hair, whereas William is *supposedly* either greying, or has light coloured hair (is it blonde??) Yes, genetics work like that, but I remember seeing one kid that had to dye his hair blonde (he seemed to be part of the missing kids). From what I saw of the photo, all of the kids had their canon appearance (Gabriel is being played by a black kid, a red head kid for Fritz etc)…
This could’ve just been changed based off of auditions (again, don’t take this seriously😭 [not OP but certain fans]) but the only blonde missing kid was Susie. IDK if they’ve casted a CC, but it could very well be that CC in the is blonde (Also note, Elizabeth was the only blonde kid in the family in the games👀) like his father (✨recessive genes✨). KEEP THAT IN MIND!!
Mike and Vanessa being the same age is strange, considering if this film had followed game canon, it’d be impossible for them to be the same age (Michael was likely born in late 60’s/Early 70’s, and Vanessa is like late 20’s/early 30’s in Security Breach). Considering William is an awful person, it’s not too unlikely that he could’ve cheated on his wife around the time Michael was born. Again, going back to the blonde hair, and the speculation of the ‘A’ in her name… (I hope I don’t sound like MatPat or something💀) (EDIT HALFWAY THROUGH ME TYPING: ‘Unnamed Female Villain’ is also blonde, and an older woman👀) /I’m just saying, IDK who she is so her role should be interesting considering there’s not many villains?!/
2. Moving on… I don’t think Abby is going to die in this. I remember seeing that there’s a three movie deal with Universal, and so the obvious choice is to drag it out 💰💸 (Scott Cawthorn is LAUGHING) but also, it seems like there’s far too much ground to cover.
3. Maybe there’s a reason for an ‘Abby Schmidt’ rather than ‘Elizabeth Afton’ (her only documented name), and I think that it’s just because they changed their name after everything went down. I think the Schmidt’s are going to have close contact with their mother, whilst she and William are estranged. Also, Mike is likely Abby’s sole provider.
4. We are going to be confused about something else in the timeline. No doubt. Questions may be answered but ATP it’s FNAF’s brand to confuse us and leave us hanging💀
5. Hank is Henry, no doubt!
6. I don’t think William is being spring-locked just yet.
7. Vanessa and Mike are going to meet at the mall as security guards, and they’re going to become close. (I’ve said this before)The betrayal (if you can call it that) will be when she’s pulled to the dark side after learning about what happened! I think therapy is going to be significant too, since they cast a DR. I think she’ll be more a part of Vanessa’s storyline (uncovering her past) than Michael’s (but she may convince him to go/get used to the idea)
8. Charlie/CC won’t get that much screen time. I think the focus will be on the MCI and everything after.
9. Mike will be a grey character/antihero and will do something veryy questionable💀(and I’ll love him regardless😌)
10. I don’t have one rn (I’m sure it’ll come to me) so I’m just going to make the numbers whole :)
EDIT: Here’s how I think the roll out will go: Teaser trailer in end of May/early June ➡️ Official trailer in the summer ➡️ Stills and PR strategy from then ➡️ Reviews and premiers in early October and then release :)
(PUT ME ON THE AD TEAM I HAVE IDEAS!! LET ME COOK!)
This is not a prediction, but just a statement (?) I get why it’s set in another timeline - its going to go global and if it’s very niche and low-key (only understood by fans), it’s not going to make sense to regular moviegoers! On the plus side, we’ll now have book, game and film canon to choose from when writing😳
To any non followers: DO NOT take me seriously. I am simply not going to argue over a post made before 10AM 🙏
#this was long and chaotic#i suspect everything will be from now on#my asks#fnaf movie#predictions#florence_nomachine#send me asks
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I might appreciate Memorial Day more
If I didn’t start the weekend by performing at a Memorial Day service
Where I had to sit quietly and listen to a man, who passed laws denying trans kids health care, talk about the soldiers who gave their lives to guarantee freedom “for all people”
Apparently, not trans kids
And probably not the trans woman my brother served with either, if this man got his way
Where I’m expected to stand for prayer after prayer to the christian god
So apparently not pagans or people of other religions either. Could have at least invited a rabbi or something to diversify it a little? I wouldn’t mind standing so much then.
I go because I honestly believe those kids who died fighting in conflicts caused by the rich and powerful deserve to be remembered and honored. Their death didn’t have to happen, but it did.
And if adding my voice to 2 songs helps give them some crumb of the respect they deserve for that, then cool. I’ll go sit in the hot sun and try not to be too upset at the politicians who’s words feel like a slap
I listen to an old bell ring as each of this past year’s deaths are read out
But as a trans pagan sitting quietly waiting for my cue to sing
I can’t help but think the rich powerful man giving the speech about the dead soldier’s sacrifice shouldn’t be there
But he always is because he is rich and powerful and holds office
3 years now I’ve sat and listened to that man talk about things his policies don’t uphold. Things he admits he, and people like him, convince our kids to go out and die trying to protect
And then I go home and watch people party. My part of the city gets particularly rowdy with block parties and people flooding in from all over for the events and spectacles.
They play loud music into the night
They watch a race and don’t even flinch on how bad the event must be for the environment
They grill out and play silly games
And I sit quietly at home with the paper poppy I was given to wear at the service thinking I’m lucky that my grandfather, cousin, and brother all came back
I think about how my brother would still fight to protect me if it came to that and it very well may because of that rich and powerful man
I think of how lucky my family is that none of my uncles got sent out at one point, barely squeaking by as too young for the draft back in the 60’s and 70’s
I spend it this way not because how others do is “wrong” but because I’m an introvert and the ceremony I sing at exhausts me. Listening to the rich powerful man who thinks kids like me shouldn’t exist exhausts me. Hearing my neighbors around me exhausts me. And so I prefer to stay inside where the noise is slightly muted.
Because with the state of our freedom, it doesn’t feel sincere
It should feel like a feast in Valhalla, but it doesn’t. Not to me.
And I wonder how the gold star families spend this day. How they feel. Do they celebrate or mourn? Both?
Do they listen to the rich powerful man’s speech and silently fume like I do?
Do they think their dead kid deserves more than a half packed service on a Friday afternoon?
Are the speeches and Christian centric prayers and wreaths and horses and bells and chair enough for them?
Do they have a trans kid their loved one died for who isn’t being protected despite that sacrifice?
I look into the audience and see several BIPOC families. Are they angry because they aren’t being protected either despite their loved ones death in trying to ensure their safety and freedom?
Idk. I don’t have the answers to any of this.
I struggle to appreciate Memorial Day as it is
The whole weekend paralyzes me
It should be more and less. Backed up by good laws and less bigotry and genocide
But I go. And I sing.
And I sit quietly at home praying to my gods that next year will feel less like an insult to the dead
#USA#memorial day#trans kids#transgender#LGBTQIA#how can we call this free?#hipocracy#idk guys#I’ve got feelings and no brain cells to spair
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So, I did a thing! Short hair…don’t care!
So, a little something I’ve learned about myself over the last 4 or so years…I really enjoy going and having my hair done. When I first started on my adventure, one of the first things I did to change my appearance was I began to grow my hair out. And as the months passed, and my hair got longer and longer, I started going to this cute little beauty shop not far from where I live to get my ends trimmed every few weeks.
And when I say beauty shop, think like the place your mother or maybe even your grandmother went to get their hair done. Small, lots of pink, 1960’s-70’s decor and hairstyle pictures on the walls, and the two women that own it are both in their early 60’s and cute as buttons.
At first, I was going like every 5 or 6 weeks to have my ends trimmed. I definitely felt really shy and vulnerable being in such a feminine space, but when I tell you that these two women are like the sweetest humans and didn’t even bat an eyelash the first few times I came in for an appointment fully dressed.
And as I became more relaxed and more confident and started understanding all of the feelings I had, well, I really started to look forward to my trips to the beauty shop. I don’t know what it is about the place, but it just makes me feel so warm and accepted and feminine getting my hair done and the next thing I knew, instead of going every few weeks for a trim, I started going every week, experimenting and trying all types of new things for me. Blowouts, sets, highlights, updos…like if you can think of it, chances are I’ve tried it. And Sharon, one of the owners, well, she gives like the absolute best basic mani/pedi ever and was the one who convinced me that I look cute with my nails done and that I should get my eyebrows thinned out and arched and just has been so encouraging throughout my transition and actually started crying and gave me the biggest hug my first appointment after having FFS.
So, going and getting my hair done every week now is like…I don’t know…I just really enjoy it and I always feel super pretty afterwards. Maybe it’s because I missed out on getting my hair done when I was younger, but like the feminine energy I get from going every week…it’s just a wonderful feeling.
Which all leads me to yesterday and my new do’. I’ve basically been growing my hair out for like the past four years now, and honestly, I was getting a little bored with it. So, a few weeks back I mentioned to Sharon that I was thinking about going shorter and that after having FFS I gained all this confidence and wanted to try something new and fun. So, she and I put our heads together, we looked at some style books together, and she was like you know what Missy, let’s go short and give you a perm.
So yesterday, I went for my hair appointment, had my long hair lopped off, had my first perm which was an absolutely amazing experience, and I’m now rocking a new look and I absolutely love it!
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In A Galaxy, Far, Far Away
I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. It was a time of societal tumult, assassinations, Vietnam, protest marches, long hair, bad fashion choices, emerging gay rights, women’s liberation, the civil rights movements, garbage strikes, teacher strikes, violence, racism, graffiti, and no eye contact in the NY subway. I observed societal turbulence but also lived with maelstrom in the home and in my spirit.
My mother had a mental illness, now known as a behavior health disorder or brain disease. All of these terms seem so vague and empty. She had hallucinations and delusions. The voices told her things to be wary of, plots against her and her family. She received special messages from the radio from disc jockeys on WNEW AM, a station that played crooners like Sinatra, Martin, Como, Davis. The rat pack of the sixties became incorporated into her delusions. Sinatra was supposed to give her a million dollars but she did something wrong and the rat pack would then give the money to her sister instead. The money appeared to go up with inflation, eventually cresting at 40 million.
I had to listen to this lunacy near daily when she was ill. We lived in a small home and until a much older brother moved out, I had to sleep in my parent’s bedroom for many years and would listen in the middle of the night while my father desperately tried to use logic to convince my mother of the fallacy of her ideas. Sometimes she would be up all night, acting as a bandleader to music she only heard.
When I would go visit my grandparents, my mother would tell me not to eat anything because it might be poisoned. I ate anyway, mostly knowing the food was not poisoned but having a bit of lingering doubt. My mother would check my hairline when I came back, fearing some type of poison was put in the hair to make my hair fall out. She loved my hair and so did I.
She would write letters to the disc jockeys, William B. Williams and Julius DeRosa, names I will always remember, to assist in her getting her rightful due from the rat pack and asked me to mail the letters. Sometimes I would, sometimes I ripped them up. It didn’t seem to matter one way or the other.
I never knew what I would experience when I returned home from school and could not bring friends home when she was ill as she was an embarrassment. There was an ornamental carving over the front door and I thought it showed the house was cursed. If I could take it off, perhaps in a way like the story of the blood over the door in the Passover story, God would pass over this house and the curse would be lifted.
There was a period of time when she used alcohol to control the hallucinations and simply knock herself out. When my mother was falling down drunk, my father would be enraged when he returned home from work and there would be a big scene that would play out the same way in which the bottle of alcohol would have to be found and the remaining contents spilled out. Sometimes I took it upon myself to find it, spill it out, and tell my father on his return home in order to avoid the loud tumultuous drama. Sometimes, I would take care of the bottle but also sober my mother up, make dinner for the family, and pull it off so that my father never knew she had been drunk. Difficult choices made on the spot, a skill that can be useful but also a very lonely one.
There were episodes of high drama. My mother had to be hospitalized against her will numerously. The police would be called to literally take her away. I remember hearing the walkie talkies and the sounds of the cops while I was in bed, and those sounds have reverberated for the rest of my life. Although extremely disturbed one time, she made an excuse to the cops to see me. She said she had to lay out my clothes for my day but I was too old for needing that. It was a way for her to kiss me goodbye as she knew it would be a long time before she would see me again. I pretended to be asleep while she kissed me and she said her goodbye’s. She knew I wasn’t really asleep. I thought if I pretended to be asleep, maybe I’d actually be asleep and then when awoke, none of the events would have happened, but they did.
There was the time she nearly starved to death because she thought the food was poisoned. My father, a brother and I went to visit her in a state hospital and she still hadn’t eaten. The state hospital in the 60’s or early 70’s was as frightening as you would expect it to be. Dark, massive open space with little furniture with Zombie people pacing, some clutching dolls, none of who would converse with each other. Staff were nowhere to be seen in this massive room. We were sitting at a table and I started to cry seeing my mother desiccated and shriveled up to nothing. My father stated, “see he loves you, show him you love him and eat”. Soon after she did.
My mother did love me and I her. When she was well, she was loving and compassionate. One time in Junior High I was overwhelmed during a Christmas break for failing to work on my homework till close to the end of the vacation and started to cry. She hugged me and said to simply take it one class at a time. The advice was good but the hug was what was most effective.
The times of quiescence varied. At some point, she would stop taking her medication. At times, I tried to supervise her taking the medication and would catch her cheeking them. I also accompanied her as a teen to a storefront clinic and tried to convince the doctor to put her on long-acting injections as I knew she would stop taking the oral medication at some point but my pleas were to no avail. Although frustrated and angry with my mother for stopping the medication, I also understood her unwillingness. It often caused weight gain. Every pill was a reminder to her of a disease she denied having and was a societal stigma. I also understood that parts of the psychosis may at times have been better than reality, as a world filled with involvement with Hollywood elite was better than her drab existence of a housewife.
I guess I learned many useful skills through the survival of the madness. When later in life paralyzed from a neurological illness, I borrowed some courage from my younger self to believe I could survive my medical crisis. Having faced crises alone as a child and teen, I learned to deal with what life dealt me later on oftentimes by myself. Due to a childhood habit of having to be a lone adult, it is now only somewhat reluctantly that I can let someone inside and that I don’t have to solve all dilemmas by myself.
One time returning from college on a break, she greeted me at the door and said loudly and with force, “Brian, you are going to lose your hair, your nose is going to grow, and penis is going to shrink. I simply laughed and said,” It’s good to see you too ma”.
Despite it all, our bond of mutual love was never broken.
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Journey IIM-B - Part 2
Alert ⚠️ 📢 : Stalkers run away, too long post .
Year 2021 JULY -
Even though Data science is interesting, this job is getting stagnant. Not learning new things and in the same old boring project. Let's change job.
*Keeps trying and keeps failing miserably*
Finally , couple of good offers in hand. But too afraid to leave this comfort zone. Was almost planning to resign, then comes a phone call from my Ex-Senior Director, offering me a job in Mahindra Group.
Confidently put papers and started serving notice period. Didn't reply to the otger 2 offers.
I happily accept to attend interview , as I knew his exceptional proffesional style. Clears all rounds of interviews, including one with the CTO of the group. Yess! Offered!!
*Opens the offer letter! BOOM!💥 💥 💥 *
We are pleased to offer you the role of “Manager - Data Science ……….. “
WHAT THE HELL?
Who needed this?
MANAGER? NOOOOOO ! HELL NO! 😠
But the other 2 offers are already off hands. 🙄
Spoke to the ex - director to confirm of there was a mistake in offer letter 🙆♀️🤦♀️. He convinces that it's not that big deal to be a manager. After all I was experienced enough to lead freshers by then.
Okay, new challenge . Significant jump. Competitive package. why am i this afraid?
Let's take it up..
Year 2022 - Joins Mahindra Group
Put into a club mahindra group. New projects, new people , all awesome at the beginning 😀.
Hold on… the worst is yet to come…
Being a manager also comes with a responsibility. You actually need skills to representing of a group company in MHRIL.
Setbacks, huniliations, disappointments about performance, dissatisfaction about self, sarcasms by experienced people, rejections of the proposed use cases, inferiority about no knowledge about how an organization works. It isn't all about data and data science. 😕 . There's so much more to an organization ‘ s functioning.
An eye opener indeed.
*No one's caring to explain me things bro. I need to get some formal education in Management*
MBA it is!!!🤦♀️😶😑
The degree i made fun of, that day . Karma , you cruel! 😏
Ok , what next.
MBA in good colleges are too costly ( average 17 lakhs)! Need to give up job. For a extra ordinary reservation I have, and because the engineering background I came from, getting into top IIMs or other prestigious and high-ROI providing institutes would be a tough nut to crack. Moreover the total expenditure would some up to
2years* (annual income) + hefty fees of the college + loan commitments
Too much!
For any high paying package i would get after MBA placement, it would take years to get back what i invested . (By the way , not everyone who gets into IIM gets a 60-70 lakh package. The average is only around 20-25, even in top colleges) . Didn't seem like a wise decision. Managerial degree was a want but wasn't a good idea to spend so much.
Luckily, by God's grace, Got to know about something called as Executive MBA. Woo.
Got to know about IIM Kozhikode's EPGP.
Applied. Cleared all rounds, Got selected , Was offered a seat . This course almost ticked all my boxes in the list.
Premium institute - ✔ ✅
Non residential- ✔ ✅
Quality education - ✔ ✅
Palcements, i wasn't in a rush anyway - ✔✅
Not completely online - ✔ ✅
Degree - ✔✅
Sponsorship from company to some extent -✔✅
3 On kampus visits to Kerala 😍 - ✔✅
But there were few that didnt convince me.
Fees - ✖❌
College life, i badly wanted 😪 - ✖❌
Classroom centres, which means somewhat online - ✖❌
Hectic Work life balance ✖❌
Need to explain everybody that this is not a certification,or a part-time course , its an actual degree - ✖❌
Class strength of 500 . Individual attention was a joke - ✖❌
Irritating repeated calls from Marketing team to accept offer . Somewhat pissed me off ✖❌
After lots of discussion with many kind people , i somehow convinced my to agree with these cons . But something was troubling me .I was in a dilemma , whether to accept this offer an pay or not still. Only 2 days left to accept/reject.
Many people suggested many things. I was fed up. Prayed to Rayaru and God “ If this course is good for my future, let me have a decision to pay. Else, let whatever that is best for my well-being in the future happen to me, I will reject this and humbly accept whatever comes to me as my thought. Vichaarya dehi me swaamin! “
THEN CAME TO MY MIND, the mantra of my life, given by my GURUGALU :
ನಿನ್ನ ಚಿತ್ತಕೆ ಬಂದದ್ದೆನ್ನ ಚಿತ್ತಕೆ ಬರಲಿ ಅನ್ಯಥಾ ಬಯಕೆಯ ಕೊಡದಿರೋ, ಶ್ರೀನಿವಾಸ ದಯಾನಿಧೇ!
The very next day, i was about to tell my decision about MBA in iimk to my Manger. Without hearing the second sentence , he said “ Nah !reject it !” I was fuming with anger. “How dare he? 😤”
I struggled so much to convince myself amd now this man is saying this.
The VP said , “dont do this. Even though your idea about pursuing an executive degree is good , this online MBA makes no sense to a young aged person like you. Dont hurry! You have time. Explore a course called PGPEM from IIM-B. That's what I have did , I feel it's apt for you too. Give that a try! “
I said to myself,
“ is this a joke? Do i keep trying for a course after course. I am already this old and kept deciding on masters all these years . No , i am not agreeing something just because someone is telling me to do. Be it even my VP. I don't care 😒“
But out of curiosity, I searched for it. Seems to be a really good course..
but IIM-B ! And ME !! How's that possible. Noo. 1000s of people apply. The intake is only 80. The average experience is 18 years, and I am a noob. The entry would be very tough for me.Even if i reject this offer and try, what if i dont get selected? Even if I got into, this course is very rigourous. What if I fail? What if I loose my health? “ And look at the fees!… 20 lakhs 😶🤯 . No sponsorship from company as the classes overlap with working hours🙆♀️ “ “But wait, i am earning enough. The expediture of this course = fees of this course . Nothing more . I can manage the finance myself .I can go to college also. All cons are removed for this course expect high fees and hectic work-life. Lets reasearch about this course. Let's again start the process of reaching out to people to get feedback of this course . “ I Met many kind people . 100% positive feedback. By the next day, i was damn sure , I am going to drop iim-k's offer and try this. But I made my mind. If not this, never masters again.
I am so grateful to those people Rayaru arranged , who agreed to respond to me and talk to me for those two days. Who were kind enough, to pull me out of the self rejection, self doubt and the inferiority complex I was drowned in, at that time.
I got the peace that I begged to God and gurugalu that day. 🙏
Started to prepare all over again for the CAT equivalent IIM-B test , with a bang 💥 💥 💥!
Few months later, applied for the course. Wrote a kick-ass SOP( again few people have immensely helped here, to whom I am ever indebted to) cleared the IIM-B test(1000s applied , 100s got into), cleared Writing Ability Test, and finally the interview ( 80 out of 160 selected).
MARCH 13th, by the Grace of god, Gurus,and the blessings of my parents and elders, I was offered a seat in IIM-B ‘s PGPEM. The course of my dreams💕💞. India's #1 Executive MBA programme. 16th in Asia. One of the best colleges in the world . The program i worked hard for, the education I genuinely want to pursue. ❤💙💜❤💛💚🤍🧡🖤♥🤎💖💗💓💝💟❣💌💌🥰😍🤩
Now. The new chapter starts…..
Juggling work with this rigourous course, maintaining decent family life. Is this all easy?
HELL NO!!
But, do you remember? I am not ordinary. I hail from a parampara of the great gurus and mighty ancestors, and a devotee of whom? The father-in-law of Sarawathi 🙏. If they have brought me through it, they will get me through it. And bless me to acheive , not only iha but also for para. I am not ordinary for sure.
#Rakshateetyeva_vishwasah
#Tat_te_anukampam
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apparently I’m putting fakemon here as well
My 4th Elemental Monkey
First bit, basis. The original trio are based on the Three Wise Monkeys: see no evil (-pours), hear no evil (-sears), speak no evil (-sages). The most common addition is do no evil, since it’s part of a Confucius quote that includes the others:
“Look not at what is contrary to propriety; listen not to what is contrary to propriety; speak not what is contrary to propriety; make no movement which is contrary to propriety”
I could also do “choose no evil”, “smell no evil”, or “touch no evil”, other additions from a Xunzi quote or honestly no clue for the origin of the other 2, maybe people went for senses?
“[…] makes his eyes not want to see what is not right, makes his ears not want to hear what is not right, makes his mouth not want to speak what is not right, and makes his heart not want to deliberate over what is not right”
((I could be convinced to make another monkey trio based off of choose, smell, and touch with another triangle but I’m already belaying another idea with the elemental monkeys doing this because guess who can’t stop their brain))
Now the Pokémon stuff. Since the canon monkeys are a type triangle, I gotta expand it into a square. Luckily that’s pretty easy with the Ice type. Fire is 2x to Ice, Ice is 2x to Grass, Grass is 2x to Water, Water is 2x to Fire. Added thing of Ice being 1/2x to Water while Water is 1x to Ice. This also works nicely with “freezing” being inaction, which the Wise Monkeys are meant to be against with the whole quote being used for those who choose to do nothing or ignore evil when faced with it.
Design. One thing that annoys me with the Elemental Monkeys, specifically the Simi-s, is that Simisear has no subcultural basis. Simisage is 50s American greaser inspired, which also inspired Japanese the subcultures bōsōzoku & yankee/yankī. Simipour is based around 60s & 70s hippy/beatnik subculture. Simisear? For the sake of this, I’ll say Simisear is representative of the 80s’ New Romantic subculture. This leaves me with 40s or 90s. 40s is going to be difficult because WWII, with some subcultures taking a backseat during wartime and properly getting doing at the turn of the decade �� no Teddy monkey for me — with an exception being Neds, who emerged from poverty in 1930s Scotland. Poverty doesn’t exactly go away in wars. The way I see it my options are:
30s & 40s Neds
90s rave (possibly Gabber specifically, a subculture popular in the Netherlands).
90s Grunge
90s Punk
90s Britpop
Though punk would suit the typical stance of this line's basis, I think rave would work well for the top/trousers pattern this line would help complete: Pansage has green trousers and Simisage has green trousers, separate from the main body around the torso; Pansear's division is roughly in the middle but Simisear clearly has fully integrated red trousers with separate fur at the opposite side via shoulders; Panpour has a blue crop top thing and Simipour has a long blue top separate from main body around the torso. The -sages & -sears have furry tails as a result of their trousers, while the -pours have nakey tails until the tip. Since we can't do baggy, grunge is out; it was one of the main parts of grunge fashion to obscure silhouettes. The Pan- of this line would have a roughly middle division like Pansear, while the Simi- has integrated top pattern like a tracksuit and some distinct fur around the ankles like trainers. All the Pan- ones have upright hair-fur but Simipour's hair goes down. This Simi- would be the same.
Naming. Now with the trio being a quartet, I get to fix something that’s bugged me with these guys for so long: the -pours differing from the others by having their second half begin with “p” instead of “s”. If I have the Ice Types’ second half begin with “p” I can be happy, especially since it gives it an alternating order! The issue: not many ice words begin with p. Polar, permafrost but shortening that to “perm” to fit the 4 letter thing feels weird. “Pack” could work. 1 syllable, 4 letters, refers to a bunch of ice floating as one continuous mass in the ocean, works with cooking theme because “pack with flavour”, maybe a nod to pack mentality if I want to bullshit more meaning into it. That has it, Panpack and Simipack!
Also the new brother would be Calam from calamint, a type of mint with high amounts of menthol native to the UK. Mints are supposedly cold, and calamint is used in cooking. Wouldn’t join his brothers in their gym, maybe he’d just be a cook or a previous champion or E4 something. Can you tell I don’t care about him as much as my new monkey friend? I’m sure that’ll change as I try doodle designs.
I’m gonna try draw some ideas. The one issue I have so far is I think the colour fur for this line is going to have to be white and each of the monkeys are said to release elemental stuff from their head and my brain is making relevant but inappropriate links.
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Got a couple of questions from the Artist Ask Game I reblogged a bit ago from someone who asked to be anon-ized! (So, if you're shy, that is an option! I'll still know who you are, but the world doesn't have to.)
25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by.
I feel like maybe I'm lucky that this hasn't happened in awhile or in ways that bothered me often, haha! But back in college I remember getting pretty salty about this happening once and so that stuck with me. During constructive criticism time, someone's sole comment on my work for one assignment was that it looked Tim Burton-y.
In that it had goth theme matter and some stripes and some lurid colors, sure, I guess? If Burton was your only other exposure to spooky themed art by nerdy goths. In an animation-related class in art school. I think Burton and I shared some inspirational overlaps in a fondness for German Expressionism and 1960's Hammer films, but stylistically, Burton's aesthetic tends to play with odd proportions and distorted forms far more than my work did (or does). If I had been drawing inspiration from Burton and had intended to do a Burton-esque piece, I would have tried to include those traits and not stuck with an approximation of my own style and a late 60s/early 70's palette.
Also, as constructive criticism, this was not helpful. It was clear from the tone that she was dismissive of my piece based on it's "Burton-esque" qualities, but she didn't come out and say anything useful. Did she hate Burton, but begrudgingly agree that Technicolor goth was working for my spooky scene? Did she think this perceived Burton-esque style was holding back my piece? Impossible to tell.
I managed to dig up the file, but given that this was for a class in Illustrator and Flash (neither of which I ever got comfortable or good at using, lmao) and I don't have either of those programs now, it got a little mangled when I asked Photoshop to open it. But I think we can all agree: not particularly Tim Burton-y!
(please don't ever ask me to use Illustrator or Flash again. I will cry. the only part I enjoyed about this project was picking music and sound effects...and jumpscaring my class at 9am in the morning.)
26. What’s a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended.
Hmm...again a benefit of being relatively obscure on the internet means that I rarely get people projecting wildly on my art. And also, if it matters how things are interpreted, I will usually include that in my comments or descriptions below a piece. I'm sure it's happened! But apparently I am less bothered by that than by uselessly-framed dubiously-constructive criticism comparing me to Tim Burton, so I recall nothing right now.
I'll pivot this to writing and tell you about the wildest feedback I ever got.
I took a short story writing class waaaaay back when I was in community college in my hometown. It was very much full of the community. Our big assignment was a short story which the class would read, write comments on, and discuss in class. I wrote a version of the fairy tale "The Fisherman and His Wife" about an aspiring artist with an ambitious wife. Rather than a fish, our protagonist meets a strange being in his dreams and helps this being out, because to the being, the dangers in dreams are real. In thanks, the being grants the artist inspiration and success in the real world. Like in the fairy tale this escalates and things get weirder and weirder in the dreamscape, until the mysterious being gets fed up and punishes the artist and his wife.
After class, one of my classmates, an older woman, approached me, convinced that I did "dreamwork" to have written of lucid dreaming and the weird symbolism of dreams so well. I tried my best to accept this as a compliment. But lady, where ever you are, I was and always have been just a weirdo who loves using dreams as an excuse to go wild with surreal almost-logic and weird descriptions and symbolic landscapes.
I think this was the first time in my life where I was really sharing work with strangers and having strangers come to conclusions about me based on my writing and so it felt and feels bigger than it is.
And while I'm not upset about this conclusion being drawn and can definitely understand that this lady was excited to discover I had written something that resonated so strongly with her passions that she assumed I shared them....it did feel kinda weird and put me in a weird position to have her approach me assuming I did dreamwork rather expressing that it reminded her of dreamwork and asking me if was into such things.
Heh, both of these questions kinda made me think of situations where people made an assumption about me and my work and acted on that, rather than leaving me any space to explain or discuss. Very....
Anyway! That was a lot of words! It turns out, I am very verbose! Feel free to scroll way back to the beginning to find that link to the Artist Ask Game to ask me more questions and see if I can stay on topic!
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Priscilla
Director Sofia Coppola Stars Cailee Spaeny, Jacob Elordi, Ari Cohen, Tim Post Italy/USA 2023 Language English 1hr 53mins Colour, black & white
Stranded in Graceland
When it was announced that Sofia Coppola was making a film about Priscilla Presley’s relationship with Elvis, there was a general ‘Yeah, makes sense’ vibe. Coppola mostly makes movies about young women (2020’s On The Rocks was a rare sortie into middle age) and her characters are often trapped by their circumstances and operating in constricted (but usually quite grand) spaces.
All of this is true of Priscilla, which could be seen as a companion piece to Marie Antoinette, with Graceland taking the place of Versailles, showbiz royalty subbing in for the dynastic kind.
The early part of the movie had me thinking, ‘I know that happened, but I can’t believe it happened…’ Imagine you’re a couple in 1959 on a US military base in Germany, an air force officer and his wife, and your 14-year-old daughter is invited to a party at Elvis Presley’s house. The biggest pop star in the world, very much a grown man. Yes, your daughter/step-daughter is bored and homesick and will be endlessly sulky if she’s not allowed to go – and who could blame her? – but how could you possibly justify saying yes*?
But of course, they did say yes and Priscilla met Elvis and despite the fact that she was a child and he was in his twenties, a relationship (kissing only at that point, the film seems to be trying to reassure us, as if that would be OK) began.
Cailee Spaeny plays Priscilla from 14 to her mid-20s (Spaeny is 25) and it’s rather unnerving how convincing she is in those early scenes. Jacob Elordi (who is Australian) has worked hard on the Elvis voice – I think he lacks a bit of spark, but maybe that’s what Coppola was going for (I haven’t seen the Baz Luhrmann film, so can’t compare Elordi to Austin Butler).
What’s interesting – in critical terms – here is how this is and isn’t like a conventional biopic. Is because we can see the span of time and the changing hairstyles etc. Isn’t because even when the protagonist becomes reclusive (The Aviator, say, or Love & Mercy) that’s by contrast with what’s come before. But after Priscilla arrives in the US from Germany, apart from quick jaunts to Vegas and LA, she’s stranded in Graceland. This is all a bit Rosencrantz and Guildenstern – the story of what was going on off-stage while the ‘main’ story happened elsewhere.
And yet, there are moments when it does feel a bit TV biopic, especially when we get to the late 1960s and early ’70s and Elvis’ comeback usurps the story from Priscilla for a few scenes. But a great ending pulls it back from the brink.
The film didn’t have the rights to Elvis’ music, and that might seem like big setback, and has been a big problem for movies in the past. But of course, this isn’t an Elvis movie and Coppola and her musical collaborators, including her husband’s band Phoenix, have assembled a wonderful soundtrack that does the job perfectly.
I had huge expectations for Priscilla going in – Sofia Coppola is a director whose movies I always make a point of seeing in the cinema, and, like I said at the top, this seemed to be a perfect project for her. And probably because I had those high expectations, I was a bit disappointed.
The film is too long (even if it is short by today’s standards!) – somewhere in the late ‘60s section I was thinking, ‘Yeah, we get it.’ And for a while, it does become too like other rock biopics – and, in critical circles, if not necessarily audience ones, there’s a strong sense that Bohemian Rhapsody destroyed any remaining patience for these cliches.
Ultimately, Coppola is a far better director than that and she’s made a film that’s far more interesting than most rock movies. But those trad moments mean it falls short of greatness.
*In case you’re assuming that like Elvis, the Beaulieus came from one of those parts of the American south where very early marriages where still common, nope – he was from Quebec and she was from Brooklyn.
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