#I was smiling though the pain

[osamusriceballs]

Got trapped for solid 20 minutes in the storage room of my workplace today that is only accessible with an elevator (literally no emergency exit- if the elevator doesn’t work, there‘s no way out for you), and I though no one will find me till we open on Monday- let me tell you, the panic was real 🥹🥹

[wylanslcve]

This genre of Freddy Carter smiling like a proud little kid after filming the most gut-wrenching scenes in the entire show.

[seagullcharmer]

more headcanons :-)

[justladders]

[dreamerdrop]

got back up to doctor bashir i presume in my rewatch and as soon as richard bashir opened his mouth i had to stop watching it because the anger surged out of me so hard i wanted to punch a wall.

it’s like hearing one of my friends shitty parents talking about their kid while i sit there trying to be polite for my friends sake but internally i am picturing skinning them alive for the grave crime of not thinking the sun shines every time my friend walks into a room because how DARE they not love my friend as much as i do how DARE they launch into a list of CRITICISMS of a person who makes rainbows look dull while i sit RIGHT THERE bursting at the seams with love and realise why my friends are so often reluctant to accept that they are worth that love.

it hits too close to home okay.

[flowercrowngods]

making a real post for @rvspecter pls bear with me

anyway harvey hurt fic where after mike is busted and given a second chance at life (or a third, really) and pearson specter litt seizes the chance to instate a pro bono department mike is heading because he wants to get it right this time and harvey will do just about anything to keep him, these two men finally mention this Thing between them and decide to give it a try. and it’s good. it’s fragile and it’s tentative and it’s gentle and it’s the same as it’s always been but with more tenderness, more honesty, more vulnerability (and more sex of course) and it’s good. against all odds, it’s so good.

but then one day, long after hours, donna approaches harvey in his office and her eyes are shining, but it’s not a glow harvey is used to — he never wants to get used to donna’s eyes filled with tears so he asks her what’s wrong, but he’s not ready for the answer. because she tells him she can’t work for him anymore. she tells him she’s leaving him — to work for louis at first, maybe to quit altogether. the fact do the matter is she can’t be the Donna to his Harvey anymore because she’s in love with him and she thought she had it under control but she doesn’t, okay, she doesn’t and it hurts and she wants to be happy for him and mike because they’re so good but all this time she’d never thought that harvey would ever find someone real, and now that he has, well. she can’t pretend anymore that it doesn’t tear her up inside and she doesn’t want to put that on any of them so she’s doing the mature thing and leaving. to heal. to get over him. to come back stronger.

and she’s so, so sorry.

they listen to gordon one last time, they toast to thirteen years one last time — her words, not his, but they drive a knife into his heart nonetheless because harvey doesn’t do one last-anything and yet here sits his best friend and asks for one last night together and who is he but to give her everything she wants and more. she’s his donna — still, tonight; one last night. she is.

he doesn’t tell mike that night. couldn’t, even if he wanted to; because he doesn’t have the words. but in the secure hold of mike’s arms, he says “donna won’t be working for me anymore, starting tomorrow.” and he doesn’t mention how that means that donna went to jessica and louis first, he doesn’t mention that he was the last to know, he doesn’t explain how he wasn’t given a chance to fix this — not this time. “donna quit?” mike asks, and harvey swallows, shakes his head, shrugs. “just me,” he says. “just me.” and when mike pulls him closer and holds him tighter and tells him “i’m so sorry, harvey,” it’s the first i’m sorry that night that he believes.

unfortunately, sorry never fixed anything.

especially when soon after, mike finds out just why donna left. and he gets all up in his head about it, he allows himself to spiral because he’s so ready to succumb to tunnel vision and obsessing over solutions to problems that aren’t his to fix. and so he tells harvey that he can’t be the thing that comes between him and donna. they’re soulmates after all, mike can’t bear to be the one to sever their bond. harvey doesn’t understand. he’s the one who’s supposed to lose his mind over having lost his best friend and pretend like everything is okay, what right does mike have to make that about himself, to take it upon himself to fix everything when harvey’s the fixer, harvey is the one who solves problems and protects people. but mike won’t hear any of that and tells harvey that he can’t do it like this if it means hurting donna because she’s his best friend, too, and he wants to get it right this time. he doesn’t want to build this new life on decisions that hurt his people — not again. he’s hurt enough people, he can’t keep doing it.

harvey wants to ask him why he’s always so ready to protect everyone at his expense. isn’t this thing between them, their relationship, isn’t it meant to stop them from hurting each other? why is it okay to hurt harvey, but not to hurt donna?

he doesn’t ask any of that, only tells him that they’re not in high school, and that they’re either doing this or not, but he refuses to base their relationship on whether or not his best friend is okay with seeing him happy or not. “you’re either in this with me, mike, or you’re out. that hasn’t changed, and it won’t, because donna will get over it and everything will be back to normal before you know it.”

“you don’t know that.”

“yes i do, because we’re grown-ups and we get over things.”

famous last words, it turns out, because mike just slowly shakes his head, agonising over this and not thinking, clearly not thinking when he says, “i’m sorry, harvey. i can’t to this; not like this.”

and all he can do is watch mike’s back as he all but runs from him, dragging his heart behind him, through the dirt, uncaring as bits and pieces of it chip off with every step mike takes, with every second that passes and allows the words i can’t and i’m sorry, harvey echo in the hollow of his chest.

we’re grown-ups. we get over things. well, tough fucking luck.

and this is how harvey loses the two most important people in his life in the matter of a week. before he knows it, he’s alone, left to fend for himself and hollowed out. his walls are broken down, deconstructed piece by piece by carefully, gentle hands to reveal what’s underneath — only for the hands to retreat, letting in the icy cold and accepting what’s inside to wither and die.

there’s a reason harvey specter makes his own luck; the universe isn’t very forthcoming otherwise. a fact that is proven when he finds a stranger outside his building when all he wants is to curl up and breathe through the cracks of his broken hearts that have pierced his lungs, they must have, surely they must have, because he can’t breathe. and he doesn’t learn how to breathe again when the woman — a kid, really, merely twenty-five — reveals that she’s his half sister. because it turns out the reason lily specter was so ready to up and leave all those years ago; the reason she didn’t fight for her family and instead blamed it all on harvey, was because she was pregnant. and she lied about it — for twenty-six years.

amelia selene specter is the little sister harvey has always wished for — but cancer is a curse that rests on the specter family, and while marcus got lucky twice, selene isn’t. she didn’t have the money for medical resources, and it’s eating harvey alive that he didn’t know, that there was no way for him to help her and that there’s no way now.

but there is. because selene has two kids, seven and four, and she needs his help because they can’t get lost in the system, they can’t live with total strangers or be separated because the system doesn’t actually care about children, they only care about not feeling guilty. and she won’t ask lily. these two angels must be kept from her at all costs because she ruined two families already, she won’t ruin this one.

and harvey is obsessed with the thought of more family, he needs to take care of and be there for someone and he’s ready to take on the world to protect his niece and nephew — but he’s not warm, he’s not available, he’s not even at home most of the time, nor is his place suitable for kids.

he agrees to take them in and find a solution though. he promises selene that he’ll be there for them. he’ll always be there. and when he gets to meet them — a few days before his sister dies way too young, way too alive for something like death to not rip him apart entirely — he gets attached instantly and vows to himself and to selene that nothing will happen to them as long as he’s there.

even though harvey just lost his family — the one he chose, the one he was born into, and the one he never got to meet. even though harvey’s entire world was deconstructed with no one around to put it back together. even though he doesn’t know how, because evidently he got it wrong every single time, harvey gets to build a new family with these kids. and though it tears him up inside, it heals something inside him too — and sometimes they balance each other out, and he can breathe again for just a little while as he reads to charlotte because she’s feisty and afraid of nightmares and not listening when he says she’ll be tired in the morning because “i’m tired in the morning anyway, but now i wanna read” and he trades her going to bed for a bedtime story, and she falls asleep with her face pressed into his side.

it’s so frail, though, so fragile, this little family, and he knows what it’s like when everything breaks. he knows what it’s like to lose one’s family — over and over and over again. and he’s terrified that he’s building himself back up the wrong way. he’s terrified because there’s no one keeping him together but both his hands are occupied holding these children that cry for their mama.

he’s terrified because he’s not supposed to be doing this alone. but everyone else has made their choice and he, as always, is just there to bear the consequences and try to turn it into a win.

one day, he will. he has to. and one day, he’s not alone anymore.

[taevincii]

I’m turning this off. Goodnight.

[wundrousarts]

SILVERBORN IS OUT IN AUSTRALIA?!??!

Noooo 😭 that’s just Google and various sites never being up to date 😅 I hate to break the news 😭😭😭

Silverborn is not out until next year, where it will release on April 30th in Australia, May 8th in the UK, and June 24th in the US. These dates are for REAL this time, I promise!!

Unfortunately if you are waiting for a translation, no news on any of those dates yet :( I honestly would say to maybe contact whoever publishes Nevermoor translations in your country to express demand for Silverborn to be translated sooner rather than later? Worth a try 🤷

[daily-dose-of-bucket]

Day 102: my favorite Kanna sprites

[bluebowser]

"Heya, Hitori! Why so glum, chum? C'mon, let's put a smile on that face!!"

"There ya go, much better!!"

[miiukkaa]

I was looking at the med bay in your new lair thing, and I was wondering what you think that little room would have inside it? I thought the med bay would be another train car, and I’m not all too familiar with subway layout.

Just general curiosity if you had imagined something for it out not :)

*rubs hands together* yes! i did have some ideas about the medbay area!!

here you have the medbay area, you'd seen in the subway lair layout, highlighted in turquoise. you can immediately see that i have included both the small room and a subway car!! why? what does that mean?

the little room used to function as a maintenance room for the subway back in the day... though now it's repurposed into what i call the operating room! just like the name implies, this space is mainly used for treating both minor and major injuries.

after your injuries have been looked at, i doubt you'd wanna lay down to recover in the small room that smells of chemicals and generally just feels lonely... but fret not! for you have the separate space for recovery: the recovery subway car!

admittedly, i do not have a layout drawn for this specific space but yes, it'd just be a subway car with most of its chairs replaced with beds instead. i do have this older background i'd drawn for animation practice, though! i do think the background does still look pretty close to how i would go about drawing it now! :)

you'd have, again, mikey's little doodles adoring the walls with small "get well soon!" -drawings posted here and there. the doors of the subway cars have been taken out and replaced with drapes instead. you can also treat minor injuries in the subway car as well as change old wrappings to new ones!

(also, as a side note, let it be known that you can find your way back to my posts about the subway lair by clicking on the appropriate tags on my pinned post!)

[captainlynxx]

[polarisdelphi]

Now that things like Artshield exist, I feel more comfortable posting art again *cries in a corner*

"forgive me mother for I have sinned" - because Vergil doesn't need to ask Sparda for forgiveness. He has to ask it to his human heart he always belittled so much. He has to ask it to Eva.

Tried something more ~graphic~ and not really anatomically correct with how the blood flowed down his face - had a totally different idea to use more graphic colours and make it very divided between teal and red, but, alas, I cannot work with graphic styles... Yet.

Alsoooo tumblr already turns down the image quality and, as I mentioned above, I did use Artshield to protect it from AI (because fuck you AI bros and tumblr for scraping our stuff without consent) - I'm still learning how to use it and how to make the output quality better but, honestly, just being able to post without worrying endlessly my art might be stolen by those lazy degenerates is good enough for now.

And finally, I'm gonna add this one as a sticker on my Redbubble shop to replace Vergil's old design - you can support a human artist and find my shop in this link!

oh humans, we are always struggling, aren't we?

[benetnvsch]

Hey… imagine Kunikida reuniting with rozuko,,,

[enden-k]

You’re cursed prince Kaveh wearing mourning flowers in his hair is so,,,, so,,,, so,,,,,

Like. He’s always displaying how much time he has left. Constantly. It almost feels like a Warning for those around him to not get attached.

yes 💔

[neonhellscape]

fyi thanks for interest in pasqal axe spinny standees, i got enough people interested to warrant an order which is pretty cool. i gotta wait until friday before deciding when exactly i do this [i am potentially moving house. i should be moving house. this is the third attempt now i do not trust it will go smoothly. i dont exactly wanna start up a preorder before being certain of my address to recieve the stuff] so i'll keep you all posted on that.

i've also got a design for a pasqal charm, heinrix doing a presentation sticky notes, and considering a couple prints since [to my surprise] there was interest in that. gestures wildly im looking at getting stuff made via vograce, if you want something specific let me know i'll see what i can do !! im also considering commissions so if youre interested let me know