#I was ranting to my friend about it after class and he just said “idk i dont really care ab ai

[child-of-plut0]

AI is killing creativity

[fictionalmenxyn]

✧𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐭!𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬✧

His love language?? Definitely quality time and physical love. He will literally show up unannounced at the sorority house. Come into your room and lay in your bed till you get back from class. Or if your doing course work or getting ready to go to class. He’ll lay there watching or chatting. He even goes to your room while you’re in class. Just so he can be in ‘your’ environment. It’s comforting to him, watching your tv while lying on your bed?? Heaven

Definitely a clinger or heavy flirt when drunk “damn baby, you look s’good right now…” “Rafe, I’m in my fucking pyjamas, shut up.” “Nah, baby, swear… you’re even better without them…” “RAFE, SLEEP”

This guy when it comes to you in his clothes. GOD he’s feral!! “Jesus Christ, when did you get that??” “Ok, one I’m not Jesus, and two, last week I stole it before I left.” “Fuck, keep stealing, look so good” “shot take my whole closet.”

He’s so laid back with the sorority girls. He’ll listen to the gossip and even add on to the shit. If you’re heavy on the ‘you gotta get along with my friends for me to even consider getting into a relationship’ he’s getting to know your friends instantly. He wants you, of course he’s gonna do it.

You got class and he doesn’t? He’ll walk you. Until he knows your in your class, he’s not leaving your side. Making sure no one knocks you or barges into you in the hallway. Holding your hand like you’d drift away if you didn’t hold his hand. Either that or an arm around your waist. Gotta show everyone you’re his, of course.

Stealing your notes, idk why, but I feel like he would. “Rafe?… Babe? Have you seen my sport notes?” “Uhhh no? Why they gone missing?” “Yeah… think someone has them in a backpack that’s right by their shoes…” “who me?! Nah baby, wrong person, I didn’t steal shit.” “So if I looked in your bag?” “Ok, I may have-” “you bitch!”

He loves cuddling after a long college day. Walks into your room, not bothering to knock. He lays on your bed. If you’re at your desk and look over to him, his arms are open and his famous words “come lay with me, pretty girl.” And in one swift movement. You’re in his arms while he plays with your hair.

He also oddly loves that you’re passionate about your favourite subject. Like if it’s art for example, he’ll always ask to see it or watch you while you do your art. Or of it’s sports and you need someone to help you with a part of your course. Don’t even ask, he’s already said yes. Such a supportive boyfriend fr.

He LOVES when you either rub his back or play with his hair. Especially when he’s lying on top of you. His head on your chest. His cheek squished against you, eyes shut as you play with his hair and rub his back. His body could just go limp from the sensation you make. He doesn’t understand how it makes him feel so good. Too good. But he will never EVER decline.

He loves that you get along with the guys. Like you’re able to match their energy and throw comebacks right at them. He just finds it so easy that you get along. As past hook ups would usually find the frat house annoying. Whereas you thrive there. It’s practically your second place at the college as your over there so much. Movie nights with the boys every Friday too, then party on Saturdays.

On the topic of being close with all the guys. You tell them all the gossip. You love how they listen to your rants and actually listen. Like while you’re doing your makeup at Rafe desk or picking your outfit for the night. They’ll all sit around Rafe’s room and listen to you rant about girl drama or things in general.

If you play a sport at college. Expect him to be there for every game, along with the frat guys. And he’ll make sure to pick you up after every practice (if you didn’t take your car).

He loves his kisses. Even if they’re quick ones. This guy will crave them 24/7, 365 days. Anywhere on him, he just wants them. He loves when you kiss his forehead, then his cheeks, then his chin, then nose and then his lips. Makes him melt right there and then.

He loves touching you, in both ways. But deep down, he loves just regular affection. Holding your hands, fidgeting with your rings. Playing with your hair, brushing his knuckles on your cheeks. Resting his forehead on yours, resting his cheek against yours. Watching movies and cuddling. Sitting on his lap, arm around your waist. The list can go on forever.

[subwaysurf45]

This is based off reality lol but my partner has adhd so sometimes they forget to text me/contact me and it sends me into a shame spiral because my mom used to ignore me for days when I was a kid whenever she felt upset about anything (I mean she still cries it but I am an adult now so I’ve learned to live with it) but anyway it really traumatized me because now when people g hours without responding I immediately assume it was my fault and I dive into fix it mode (even if I did nothing wrong). So idk maybe you could do something where Bucky forgets to text reader about something and reader immediately panics and freaks out because ✨trauma✨

babe, I got you. thank you for the ask, I totally know what you mean. I have many friends who forget to answer my texts and you can't help but think they are mad at you, I fully understand. I hope this does what you are feeling justice.

A/N: there are a few time jumps, I hope it's not too confusing!

So many years ago… 

“Mom!” you screamed from outside her door, sitting on your knees while tears streaked down your face. 

She had hit the new record for how many days gone without speaking to you; three was the new record. You had forgotten what you had done but your mother definitely did not, she was an elephant with her memory. 

You were invisible to her, she walked right past you with nothing to say. There was seemingly nothing you could do except wait it out, but you needed your mother, you wanted her comfort. As hard as you banged against her door, as loud as you screamed, as hard as you cried; she did nothing. 

It was always the worst when you accepted defeat and headed off to your room, contemplating how you would punish yourself because obviously you had done something very wrong. There were times when you’d punch your own thigh, maybe scratch along your collar where the skin was thin, anything to continue the punishment. 

There had been times when she’d catch the bruises on your legs, immediately giving up the act to get you the bag of frozen peas. Everytime you thought it was over, you really thought she’d continuously love you. But then you’d forget to unpack the dishwasher or say something under your breath after an argument; and the cycle would repeat. 

Present Day...

“Bye, love,” you whispered and leaned up to kiss Bucky, wrapping your arms around his neck as he placed his gentle hands on your hips. His roommates were in the next room so you needed to be quick and quiet, no one needed to know about your kissing. 

“Text me when you get back to your place, yes?” Bucky muttered before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your collarbone, softly pulling the collar of your shirt with it, pressing a loving kiss to the mark that was blooming. 

You grew coy, “of course,” you whispered as you fiddled with the hem of his shirt, “bye,” you said at the last moment with your head still poking in the door. Bucky stood there and waved, when the door closed you headed down to your car and headed home. 

There was something about Bucky that was unlike any of the other guys you got close with, there was something so pure about him; even though he wasn’t all the time. On your first date he got you flowers and the next date you got him a bouquet. All the boys in the house laughed but after putting them in a vase and getting into his car you saw a tear roll down his cheek, just one before he swiped it away. 

He has one of the flowers pressed and in a frame sitting on his bedside table. 

There was an immediate uplift in your life after meeting Bucky, something to look forward to every morning with his texts and always feeling secure. You knew he was your guy, you no longer needed to suss out your mother before calling her to rant. Sometimes she was in a bad mood and would hang up on you, or even worse, sigh loudly until you got the hint. But if Bucky didn’t have time for a phone call he’d stop by on his way home from work or class, just checking in and then either picking you up or stealing a quick kiss before heading home. 

You looked after one another because both of you wanted to see each other happy, there was never a moment of malice between you two, just uplifting spirits. 

That wasn’t to say you were always perfect, there had been big fights and big emotions. But with Bucky, he sat down and talked about them, maybe after taking a walk so he wouldn’t scream in anger, but there would always be a drive to fix things and not let them linger. 

It took many relationships and friendships to realize your mother did a number on you, what you thought was normal raised a few brows; especially Bucky. 

“Babe,” Bucky said in his bed, sitting up against the headboard, “that’s fine,” he patted your butt. You were laying on your stomach and trying not to look at him. 

“But you…” you sighed, “we were-...” you sighed again. 

Bucky leaned over so you had to look at him, “I was in the mood last night- both of us were -and we had fun, even though I’m fine with something doesn’t mean you have to be as well.” it didn’t look like you believed him, Bucky chuckled and laid right behind you, “I don’t know what it’s like to be a woman and have period sex, babe, I don’t,” you cracked a smile, “just because I offer to lay down a towel doesn’t mean you have to agree, alright?” 

“But I feel bad,” you whispered, “but I also don’t like how messy it gets and I was tired because my iron level drops so bad and-”

“And there’s our answer,” Bucky giggled, “remember: we both have to agree, don’t just follow along, alright?” 

“Sure,” you whispered. Bucky obviously didn’t think that was good enough, so he tickled you until you were screaming in agreement, the most enthusiastic alright. 

When you got home you trudged up the stairs and laid on your bed, sending Bucky a text that you got home. 

You: got home perfectly fine, I did in fact almost hit a bunny but it ran out of the way

Bucky: seriously, you gotta be more alert

You: I know I was paying attention but it just came out of nowhere

Fixing your pillow, you sat up and stared at your phone. The typing bubble hadn’t even popped up yet, you needed him to know you were driving safe. With the extra time now you re-read his text, you immediately read it like he was chastising you. Giving you pointers because he felt you were a bad driver. 

You wanted him to answer, so he knew you knew you needed to be safe. As you sat there the gears in your brain began to spin, you shouldn’t be this tied to your phone, it’s unhealthy. Don’t be a clingy girlfriend, he’s not actually mad at you. 

You began to type again: babe? But you quickly deleted it. 

You sat for a moment: did I do something? That was too pathetic. 

Maybe a different angle: I bet that bunny is off with its family right now, having the time of its life. But even that was a little much, you could easily come across as rude. 

Instead you placed your phone to the side and tried to think back, was there something you did that pissed him off? Maybe he was just annoyed with something else and took it out on you. You could barely sit with yourself, this needed to get fixed. You couldn’t leave him mad at you for too long, he’d leave you. 

The thing about your mother was, she would never abandon her kid. But with Bucky, you’re just some girlfriend, easily disposable. 

*****

Bucky smiled down at his phone, looking at the text you sent him. “Gotta love her,” he whispered to himself as he sat on the couch, before he could begin to type Sam poked his head in the backyard. 

“Hey, need you to help with the barbeque,” Sam waved him outside. 

Bucky threw his phone beside him on the couch, “who’s grilling tonight?” 

“You,” Sam smirked, “you always do them so well."  

Steve was already out there, there was something wrong with the propane tank. All three of them used google and youtube to figure out why the tank wasn’t fitting in the BBQ, they had the same tank as last time but something wasn’t connecting. 

“There isn’t even a hiss when you start it up,” Bucky said as he fiddled with the switch, “that’s so weird, man,” Bucky scratched the side of his head. 

“I’m so fucking hungry,” Sam muttered to himself, “if we don’t get this figured out soon, I’m fucking ordering in again and I don’t care how much it costs.” 

“We’ll figure it out,” Steve nodded as he crouched down to try and come up with a solution. 

Though it took a while, they managed to hook up the new tank all by themselves. Bucky now stood by the grill, one hand on the bar on the lid, and watched the timer hit zero. The smell was amazing when he opened the top, feeling the hot steam escape after building up. Steve and Sam were inside, cutting up tomatoes and other toppings to put on their burgers. 

“Hey, bud,” Sam called from the screen door, “your girl is blowing up your phone.” 

Bucky turned around, “pass it over,” he flipped the last patty and walked over. Immediately, his heart sank as he saw the spammed texts and calls that were coming from you. The most recent text covered the others on his lock screen: I don’t know what I did but I’m sorry I made you upset. 

“What?” he whispered to himself, clicking on the notification to see the others in their text chain. 

You: Babe? 

You: the bunny is okay and so am I 

You: are you mad? 

You: I know you think this is so pathetic but the text you sent sounded like you were mad and I want things to be okay if your mad but also I’m freaking out over nothing because you probably aren’t

You: right? 

You: please pick up the phone 

You: Bucky I’m losing my fucking mind, please don’t shut me out if you’re upset, please 

You: please

You: okay

You: I don’t know what I did but I’m sorry I made you upset. 

Before Bucky could do anything, he was frozen as he stared at the typing bubble that popped up. When the text came through his heart cracked to pieces, it felt like he was dying. 

You: I’ve been bad and I deserve it

“Boys!” Bucky called from outside, Sam and Steve both ran out. “Something wrong with y/n, I need to go to her house, I’m sorry, someone’s gotta watch this right now.” 

“What’s wrong?” Steve had never seen Bucky more stressed out in his life, watching as he basically tugged his hair out. 

“She’s-” Bucky held out his phone, “look at this.” 

Sam was the one to take the phone, “dude,” he looked up at Bucky, “you sounded mad at the last text you sent, the ‘seriously’ doesn’t help and then-” 

“Holy shit,” Bucky snatched the phone from Sam’s hands and ran to the door to get into the backyard from the side of the house, fishing for keys as he got to his truck. 

You sat on the edge of your bed, Bucky beside you. “you-I don’t want you to meet my mom.” 

“Why?” Bucky rubbed your back, you looked so sad as you sat beside him, rubbing your wrist raw with anxiety. “I’m sure she’s not as bad as you think.” 

“No,” you shook your head, “she just messed me up,” you looked up at Bucky who was shaking his head, silently saying you aren’t messed up. “She would ignore me for days on end, I wouldn’t know if I was getting fed or dropped off at school somedays, and I was like seven. I-” you choked on your words, leaning into Bucky’s side as he kissed the top of your head, “I just always assume people are always mad at me- especially if I get ignored because I’m so used to it.” 

“That’s why you don’t want me to meet her?” Bucky whispered. 

“She doesn’t deserve to meet you,” you mumbled while you looked at the floor, “she’s in the past and I don’t want my present and past to mix.” 

Bucky nodded and planted a few more kisses on the top of your head, “I’ll always be here, I’ll always be in the present.” 

No speed limit mattered in this moment, the university kids crossing the street were perfectly timed. It was like the universe knew Bucky needed to get somewhere, all the lights were green and no one got in his way. When he parked in the driveway to your off campus apartment complex he almost forgot to turn off the car, he was sprinting out of there. 

He had a key to your place, you had a key to his. 

“y/n?” he bursted through the door, not hearing a single sound. He found you in your room, sobbing under the covers, you didn’t even hear him come in. “baby,” he whispered and quickly hugged you from outside the covers, making you jolt away from him. “It’s just me, I’m not mad, I promise, come here.” 

“You’re not?” you coughed out, looking over your shoulder at him. 

“I was about to text you back and then Sam needed my help with the barbeque and I forgot about it so quickly, you know how I get with that.” 

“I do,” you nodded. 

“And I was in charge of the burgers so I was outside, away from my phone- jesus, I’m so sorry,” Bucky whispered and got under the covers, “it just slipped my mind, I didn’t mean to give you the silent treatment, I really didn’t.” 

“Deep down I knew you were busy but then I just…” you sighed and looked away, “I fed into my thoughts, what I knew since I was a kid: getting ignored is-” 

“I know,” Bucky kissed your temple, “don’t feel bad you went back to what you knew, anyone would do that, I’m just so sorry,” he held you tightly, kissing all around your head, “that text meant to be funny but it so wasn’t and I’m so sorry, but I’m not mad- all you need to know is that I’m not mad at all,” he felt you nod, “all one misunderstanding that really hurt you.” 

“I forgive you,” you flipped around to face him, “I’m just so mad I let her win again, I thought I was over this.” 

“I forgot to text you back for a long time,” Bucky brushed the hair out of your face, “you can only go so long and that’s normal, babe, totally normal.” You used his shirt to wipe the tears off of your face, “you don’t need to feel any shame or any embarrassment, alright?” 

“But I do,” the tears came back again but Bucky was quick to soothe them. He held you close and continuously whispered in your ear sweet nothing, making you feel loved. After a while you believed him, he wasn’t mad at you, and you leaned into his touch. 

“The only thing you deserve,” Bucky cupped your face to make you look at him, “is to be loved and listened to, alright?” 

You nodded, a smile gracing your lips for the first time in what felt like days, “alright.”

Taglist: @jackiehollanderr @tylard-blog1 @readingbooksanddrinkingtea-blog @linzc-reader @hotleaf-juice @honeybunchesofbucky @seybox @happyt0exist @yaszx @striving4averagegirl @searchf0rtheskyline @aya-fay @wbyss @luvrsbian @albertdabuttler

If you would like to be added or removed from the taglist please send an ask!

reblogs and feedback are greatly apreciated!!!

[midwestemoismid]

Do you ever love a character so much you sorta steal your entire personality from them,,

<autism rant>

Cuz like I'm obsessed with Nicole from class of '09, if sorta stolen my whole humor from her, Which isn't really a good thing because shes kinda a piece of shit, the game revolves around her being a horrible person or trying to kill herself or something like that, I'm not like as mentally ill as her, but my humor has evolved to be similar to Nicole and ive sorta had this not care attitude. I've also been really jokingly mean to one of my best friends (he knows its a joke, thats our humor) but I accidentally did that to my little brother and felt SO bad lmao,, (he said something very obviously and I loudly go "yeah no fucking shit bitch" then started apologizing profusely) This other time I was playing blooket w/ that same friend and I did something that made him eat a fake burger and I went really loud "have this fucking burger you fat ass bitch" and hje just stared at me like wtf,, and the other person on the call (who I just met) was SHOCKED.

i'm not a bad person,, hes okay with me making those jokes btw

well im sorta a bad person but i'm working on that

i sorta hate having obsessions over character because i want to BE THEM. and it sucks even more when theyre a horrible person--and when theyre a girl,, cuz like i want to de-transition and become a terrible person and chane my name to Nicole WHAT THE FUCK WHY I DONT KNOW and like i had an alt acc on tiktok where i used she/her and named myself nicole and it was like a class of 09 fanpage sorta. and like i dont wanna be a bad person nor do i wanna hurt people feelings or be addicted to drugs AT ALL but like NICOLE🙏🙏🙏

this always happens when i have some sort of obsession. i dont typically have favorites but when i do its like an obsession

and like one other problem with being obsessed with nicole is i accidentally obsess over mental illness and (stuff i shouldnt obsess over), wich is really bad and unhealthy.

I gain little obsessions over certain things, like right now im REALLY obsessed with a game called "bad parenting" and it's a really really sad game. I wont spoil it but its genuinelly depressing and made me cry. after i saw it i wanted to hug my dad and tell him i loved him for being a good dad. ive been listening to the backround song on repeat for a bit, i might even draw fanart of it idk,, but i feel like i shouldnt be hyper obsessed with it

as a kid i also was really obsessed with "salad fingers" wich had a sadish theme to it, i kinda forget the plot but i thought it was interesting and how the main charecter was kinda messed up.

I also really like "little miss fortune" wich was also really sad. again i dont remember the plot my childhood is sorta a blur and i dont remember it well

"Sally face" is another sad game i liked. not gonna spoilt it but i loved the supernatural bit and there was a lot of death.

I also really love horror movies, ESPECIALLY horror movies that go into psychology. Like for example, saw is pretty interesting because its cool to see if people would rather cut of an arm or die. I know it's fake but it's still really cool.

Theres a lot i find interesting but i dont wanna sound like im actually insane lol

This ran went in so many placed i forgot what the original post was about😭 took me abt 2 and 1/2 class period to wright

If you read this all, thanks! If you relate reblog or comment (or make a new post and tag me) and tell me what charecter you relate to/obsess over

[s-rosie]

RANT POST (it’s really long but I need advice and I also just needed to get this off my mind so enjoy lol).

So there’s this guy that I was talking about in my last post at my school and I need to rant about him because he’s so cute istggghggg. (For the sake of his privacy, I’m calling him B) so for some backstory, I’m new to this school this year and I he’s been at this school for at least a year and has friends and stuff. Our story starts on the first day of school he sat behind me in Spanish and my Spanish teacher said “now we don’t want B to touch Rosie’s hair” just as an example and he said “damn, she really thinks I can pull” (or sum like that idk) and I’m like ok? But then the next day I started catching feelings because he kept making eye contact and smirking at me and just looking at me in class. Then when we were about to go outside everyone was looking towards the lockers and I was looking tears the door and he was in front of me and he turned with a straight face then made eye contact with me and smiled and I almost dieddddd. After that we had Spanish again (this is the next day) and I needed to get something from my bag behind me and his desk was blocking me so he tilted his desk back and smiled at me so I could get my folder out. Then I was getting my seat to bring out to the hallway for an assembly and I was talking to my friends and he just smirked at me and his eyes followed me the whole way. And in line to walk away from the assembly me and my friends didn’t know what to do so we just waited for everyone else to go in front of us and he passes us and gave me thet iconic smirk eye contact thingy again. Again at Spanish he moved his desk back again even though there was more room to get my folder and just did the patented “B smirk 5000”. (Oh also how many aura points did I loose because I asked the teacher if I could go to the restroom before he got there and I sprinted to my locker to put on perfume, lipgloss, and take some mints and he didn’t even get to class for like 10 minutes)

Fast foward to science class I was sitting down and he sits in front of me to my right and he was talking to his friend right in front of me and i was staring at him (I’m just a girl) and he made eye contact with me and smiled and my hearttttt. And in the hallway he made a small comment to someone else like “oh I didn’t go with my parents because I went to church” and I’m catholic so when I tell you my heart exploded I mean it. Then we were writing something in groups and each group had to pick one person to represent that group so we can make one paper as a class and me and him were each a group representative. And we were reading the papers and when he was done and I was still reading he was just staring at me with a smile and just joking around with me. Then I was writing the final paper the teacher said sun like “does it naturally flow or you gonna make it flow” and j said “I’m making it flow” and everyone bursted out laughing especially B and I was like saying shut up but flirty yk (this is pretty much the first time we ever talked but the chemistry was off the charts fr) And then the other boys started taking the joke a bit too far and mind you these were his friends for at least a year and he’s kinda popular and he looked at them and said “guys stop it just let her write” while smirking at me. THIS MAN, WHO IVE PRETTY MUCH NEVER TALKED TO, JUST DEFENDED ME IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS THAT HES KNOWN FOR AT LEAST A YEAR. AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH And the other boys were like “sorry” and stuff even tho it was just a joke it wasn’t a big deal and I was laughing. And then I read the paper and he was looking over at me and he said “you made it flow” and we went back and fourth joking like that for a few minutes (and he was blushing a little but which was just so cute) and he looked at my paper, which was in cursive and then said “so now can you write that in English?” (Playfully, bc he can’t read cursive) and we were laughing and stuff and he said the paper I made was good. Then I wrote down the homework on a sheet of paper and he walked back towards me (which is out of his way because we were leaving and I’m farther away from the door then he is) and he said “you’re making that flow” and I was just giggling bc ahahahaha. Then today in history i was running to get to class so I was sweating and fanning myself with my folder and he was just watching me like i looked like a mess but he just kept looking over at me.

Then fast forward to Spanish i got my folder again and I had all the room i could even need to get my folder and he still moved his desk and I looked at him and smiled this time to say thank you and he started to say you’re welcome but he cut out half way thru and kinda giggled and blushed (ITS SO DAMN CUTE WHEN GUYS DO THIS) and the teacher called on him for attendance and I was still grabbing my folder and he forgot what to say so I started laughing and he just looked down at me and said “i didn’t make that flow” and I started laughing more. Then we had to do a interview thingy in our Spanish lesson and after he went i leaned over to whisper to him “you made that flow” and he started laughing again. And our Spanish teacher brought up what she said the first day In class about B touching my hair (she just used us as an example because we were right next to her) and istg she’s the captain of our ship at this point. And we kept making eye contact and smiling. Okay I think that’s it. So sorry for the rant but I really just needed to get all of that off my chest and I need to know (if you red this far which I doubt) if he likes me bc I think he does but I’m also extremely delulu. Also what should I do like I don’t want to mess this up like I did in the past (we don’t talk about that) but I just need some help.

[morickkk]

hello. i am in love with your scarian school au. can you give me a long rant about it. please,

Hi omg hi hi okay okay sorri for future misspells and grammatical errors

Okay so like i said before uhh it all started with a prank, amd grian thought it would be a good idea to just pop a balloon to one of the most accident prone person, after that silly stupid little prank, scar fell on idk his back, injuring it

I wanted to give it a vibe where he was technically blown up on the back bc he didnt see the creeper, and i cannot make him explode here guys sorry HWHSJWHE

And then after like scar comes back to school, grian was like really worried duh so he immediately went to scar and asked that he owes him until he doesnt really feel that guilty

Scar was ecstatic yeysyes, a potential bestfriend no way!! So scar wholeheartedly agree and for some couple days after, grian notice scar literally just swindling people at school for their stuffs and maybe homework LMAO and grian was starting to regret it

Im not entirely sure what im gonna do for the interpretation of their failed monopolies, but for the traps in the series, i feel like its just gonna be silly pranks

The interpretation i was gonna do with the time scar losing his 2nd life was both of them doing a science/chem activity for class, and scar was liek im all for science and mixed like random things in the uhm yeah the 'potions' and it explodes, frian was too late to warn him, making scar injure himself again but now that i think about it i want to change it now help this really got me thinkign okay okay

What if i just make it like, interpretation of the 1st death, grian plays a prank with the chem lab, making it explode on scar, injuring him, i think that fits better

2nd death interpretation, was uhm scar and grian was thinking about pranking cleo for 'wrongin' them, but scar didnt see the slippery wet floor sign, making himself injured again

YEAH YEAH I THINK THATS BETTER

And then after that, scar asks grian if he still wanna be friends with a guy like him, and grian was still okay since he still owe his well kind of forgiveness?? Im not sire how to wrod it

Btw pizza is a scooter motorbike! Meanwhile mr bubbles is just a silly balloon

I might add like situations that didnt happen in the series bc i still wanna make soemthing original about itwjsuejs but i do have an idea about what will happen for the interpretation of the uhhh ending of 3rd life

Bqsically its still, Grian being betrayed by scar with bdubs and they go punchies in the halls ( people cheered LMAO )

IT WILL BE HARD TRYING TO INTERPRET LAST LIFE BC I BARELY UNDERSTOOD QHAT HAPPENED THERE IM SORRY i mostly understood lizzie's pov bc it was the first pov i watched, anwyays im getting sidetracked uhm basiclaly yeah its still ongoing, im suffering from my own consequences bc its so hard to make aus LMAO but feel free to give ideas pls

Im still scrapping like alot of the things i write for this au bc theres part where i change my mind, just like the interpretation on scar's 1st and 2nd death

[yongbokkk]

pairings: lee know x m!reader

genre: diary fic(minho's pov!!), enemies to lovers(?), high school au

a/n; i kinda hate this idk bout u

entry 1

there was a new student today, his name is y/n.

i already dislike him, he looks like he could annoy the shit out of me.

other than hearing his irritating voice, today was pretty much the usual

────────────────────────

entry 2

it's like life decided to give up on me, instead of the opposite.

looks like my friends befriended the new student behind my back, and only now they inform me.

i wanted to wipe the grin off of his face so bad, what's he gotta smile for?

────────────────────────

entry 3

i passed an exam, feeling good.

then all of a sudden y/n offers me to lunch, which i declined of course.

he had this joyful look on his face before i rejected him, it turned sad after i did.

i kind of felt bad i felt victory from finally wiping the smile off his face. anyways, dori is playing with my face, i got to go

────────────────────────

entry 4

he's been stuck to me like a cat needing it's owner, it's so annoying. even if i try to avoid him, he keeps coming back.

i ranted to my friend, he said i should give y/n a chance, hell to the no. he also said i've been being mean to him for no reason, also bullshit.

oh yes, there's definitely a reason to why i hate him. he's just so im too lazy to think, so goodnight.

────────────────────────

entry 5

i can't get the look on his face off my mind, no matter how hard i try to distract myself. i shouldn't have shouted at him like that, maybe i was being too harsh. it's his fault for being so annoying, he just had to keep pestering me everyday.

anyways, i have to go do my homework and sleep, im early tomorrow.

────────────────────────

entry 6

i couldn't find him all day, there wasn't any sign of him, it felt unusual. where was he?

was it because of yesterday? have i upset him by raising my voice like that?

i have an upcoming exam, i shouldn't overthink the situation. goodbye.

────────────────────────

entry 7

jisung really wanted to get in my nerves and decided to throw a water balloon at me, i got him back though.

y/n, he still hasn't shown up to class. is he really going to miss out on all the lessons like that.

im not worried, i have no business with that idiot. goodnight.

────────────────────────

entry 8

i don't know what else to write for this day other than y/n being back.

he looked down, he didn't even talk to my friends or even anyone in school. he seemed like he didn't have the energy to do anything, he barely passed through class.

i'm starting to think back on what i did to him, it keeps me awake at night.

i'll try to sleep now, goodnight.

────────────────────────

entry 9

i don't know what came over me, but i decided to buy him his favorite drink. i just felt bad, he looked pretty lonely these days. sure he had his friends sitting with him, but he barely joined a conversation and just kept eating.

i still hate him, he shouldn't have high hopes that i'll be nice to him after this. goodnight.

────────────────────────

entry 10

me and felix got into an argument, but we worked it out so it's all good in the end.

for the past days, y/n's starting to get better, he doesn't look as miserable as before. there's a part of me that's glad, but then again, why should i care? i hate his guts, he's not important to me.

────────────────────────

entry 11

felix's brownies are the best, he knows when and how to make them like a professional baker. we sat and ate, talking about things to feel the mood. then the topic was about y/n.

apparently, the reason why y/n was sad wasn't just because of me, he was also stood up on a supposed date. how can anyone ditch an angel like him? who ever y/n's date was, i'll serve a punch to his face. goodnight

────────────────────────

entry 12

today was.. eventful. i figured out who stood up y/n, how could he fall for such playboy looking asshole. honestly, i'm more attractive.

i saw him today, and let's say, i gave him a piece of my mind. no there wasn't any violence, i just hit him in the face. it was light, i don't see why i made mark. it felt good, though.

i ate ice cream and played with my cats, now im off to bed. goodnight

────────────────────────

entry 13

theres something wrong with me, i'll start off to where i just brang myself to sit next to y/n at lunch, then i helped him with his books because he was clumsy enough to trip and fall, all of a sudden i had this light feeling in my chest as i was speaking to him. i'm supposed to hate him, aren't i? he's always annoying me.

do i hate him?

────────────────────────

entry 14

hi hi, its been like a month. you're probably wondering why the long absence. well, to my last entry, i took the time to figure out what i was feeling. and when i did, i couldn't believe myself.

as it was the end of school, students were free to go wherever they want outside the building.

minho wanted to walk home, but something was pulling his heart back from the gate.

it was telling him to wait for a certain someone, they were a bit late for exit today.

you, with your bag, finally walked out of the school building. minho's eyes had caught you as soon as you appeared on the corner of his eyes.

your h/c hair was still what you can call perfect, despite what the horrible school air can do.

minho panicked, not knowing what to do. it would be a month till the two of you saw each other again, and he wouldn't be able to wait any longer.

he shouted, "y/n!" making the called person stop his tracks, turning to face minho.

with a few stutters, minho said what he wanted to say, so that his heart and mind can finally rest, he had finally asked you out.

your face were mixed of emotions, one with shock and joy. you nodded enthusiatically, agreeing to go on a date with him.

all this time, i was too focused on being in denial to realize i fell inlove with him.

[stxuxrniolochris]

fake dating p5- Chris Sturniolo

p1 p2 p3 p4

slow burn ( i think ), your both seniors(18), also i live in Ireland so idk how American like years in school works so just go with it, use of y/n, half based on to all the boys I’ve loved before but not really, highschool!chris

Summary ~~you both need to get peoples attention but you might just end up catching eachothers~~

~~

y/n pov

‘How do you tell your best friend you can’t keep fake dating him because you’re scared you’ve developed actual feelings for him and don’t want to just fake it anymore. You can’t. So you fake break up with them.’

Ever since this conversation with Chris he’s been begging me to keep going. I just couldn’t understand why he wanted to so bad. He got Amelias attention back so what’s the point? Every time I ask why he just shrugs it off and says “I need more time” - like what.

I walk into English and sit myself down beside Chris. He gives me a soft smile and kisses me on the cheek, my face heats up. I need to stop this before it gets too deep. I can’t ruin are friendship over having feelings for him when I know he doesn’t like me back.

I look up at ameila who’s sitting near the top of the class. My eyes trail to her ponytail. My face drops. The scrunchie I wear is everyday in her hair. The one I told him to keep safe. He gave to her. I feel his eyes on mine so I look back, he has a look of guilt in his face.

A few silent minutes pass by. “I’m sorry.” Chris whispers. “Huh” - he exhaled deeply. “I’m sorry I let her take your scrunchie.” Oh yea. That.

“You didn’t let her take it Chris, you gave it to her. And It’s fine I don’t care, it’s just a hair tie.” I sigh. We only share small talk the rest of the class.

-

It’s lunch and Chris finally decided we could go back to our friend’s table. I liked sitting alone with him but I also missed lunch with all my friends. We laughed the whole time. I’d forgotten about the whole ‘inlove with my best friend’ thing. Honestly I I barely talked to Chris the rest of the day.

-

Chris pov

I just got home and I can’t stop thinking about the look on y/ns face when she saw the scrunchie. I feel terrible, i totally forgot she had taken it at the party. She said it’s fine but I know she loves the little things so I knew this was big to her. I get off my bed and walk to matts room, knowing he would have a better idea of what to do than me.

“Come in.” Matt shouts after me knocking on his door for like 5 minutes straight. “What’s up?” He looks up from his game he was playing at his desk. I invite myself to sit on his bed and plop myself down. “I don’t really know.” I admit. “Well then I can’t really help you.” He shrugs. I sigh, “Well it’s y/n. I mean it’s not her it’s me. It’s all just confusing me lately, like I was so sure it’s Amelia who I wanted but the more time I spend with y/n the more I think it might be her. But I can’t say that because I can’t lose are friendship. And she keeps trying to stop the fake dating thing but I can’t go back to being just friends with her. I’ll go insane. And now I’m pretty sure she’s mad at me because i accidentally let Ams take her favourite scrunchie and she barely talked to me after it . And don’t get me wrong I care about Amelia so much still but y/n makes me happy I feel excited to see her, you know?” I rant, telling Matt but also half telling myself.

He just looks at me with raised eyebrows. “Say something please.” I say nervous of how he’s reacting. “Well…” he starts. “I kind of knew you atleast liked y/n like that a little bit, but I think you need to just be honest. You can’t string her along because you’re scared of just being friends with her. And you too are close, even if she doesn’t feel the same you’ll find a way out of it. But she deserves to know, and get her scrunchie back.” He says. I nod slowly. Maybe I should tell her. “But what if she gets weirded out and thinks I’m a creep.” I ask genuinely, but Matt laughs at it. “Chris cmon you’re not a random guy, you’re bestfriends.”

I walk out the house 10 minutes after this. He’s right I need to tell y/n. I’m going in the direction of y/ns house, but I need to do things right. So I take a slight detour before going to her house.

I’m stood in front of Amelia’s house. I take a deep breath before raising my hand to knock on the door. After a few moments she opens the door. “Chris?” She asked confused. I’m silent for a moment not knowing how to go about this. “What your here to beg for me back?” She smirks. My jaw clenches at her cockiness. “No actually… I wanted to come here to say that it’s completely done. I know we’ve been broken up for a while but we can’t keep texting or calling or talking in school. I’m really done with this now.” I explain. She lifts an eyebrow. “Come on Chris it’s fine.” She smiles putting a hand on my shoulder. But I step back letting it fall. “No it’s not. I really like y/n and I’m not going to ruin that. Now give me her hair tie back.” I say with a blank face. She scoffs “If you say so.” And takes the scrunchie out of she hair and handing it to me. “Bye Ameila.” I say and walking away.

People always say that getting over your first love is the hardest. So I thought Amelia would be hard to let go, but I’m realising that y/n was my first love in a way. I loved her first. I was never in a relationship with her, but I loved her first.

Now I’m stood outside my best friends house on Friday night, not knowing what’s about to go down. I take a deep breath, maybe 2 or 3 before knocking on the door. Nervous.

After a short moment she opens it. “Chris?” This is it. I’m telling my best friend I’m in love with them. I’m telling y/n I’m in love with her.

a/n: bit of a cliff hanger sorry

[xoxo-g0ssipgir1]

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

SPILL THE TEA POOKS ☕☕

OKOKOK HEAR ME OUT

So one of my friends ex friends was talking shit abt me and my two best friends saying “the world revolves around them” “they think they are all that” like babe obviously if your talking about me so much i guess your world does revolve around me ;) anyways one of my best friends (girl she talked shit abt) texted her saying “if your gonna talk shit say it to our faces” and they had this whole argument. While they were arguing over text the girl talking shit was litterally in my class a few seats overs. And she was telling this other girl every thing my best friend was saying. And I was on FaceTime with my best friend in class so she was screensharing and showing me the screenshots. So I decided to act dumb and u went and sat beside the girl talking shit and was just like “hey girlie” and she said hey. I said “what’s wrong you look mad?” And she goes on a rant telling me all the stuff MY BEST FRIEND was saying. She knows we’re best friends so idk why she decided to tell me this? But she brought me best friends ex (who raped her and manipulated her, he broke up with her after raping her last month) and that’s when my best friend lost it. She was so mad so she just replied back “lols” and the girl talking shit was so mad and it was so hard not to laugh. But just went along with it. And after class I found my best friend and told her all the shit the girl was saying. Hehe I love being a girl 😽

This happened today btw

[monalovesstarsz]

Maybe we could

Genre: Non idol au and idk what else to say 😭

Pairings: Shy sick sunghoonxchronic illness shy y/n (I clearly don't know how to do this)

Summary: Y/n starts to spend a lot of time in a hospital due to her health and its super lonely until she meets sunghoon and they agree to try their best to live as regular teens.

Warnings: uhh I'm not totally sure but illnesses, thoughts of death, hospitals, depression, mentions of death (probably)

Not proof read and I was like half asleep when I wrote this.. 😭

Chapter 1

You slowly opened your eyes. For some reason you didn't really remember what last happened. Once your vision fully came back you realized that you weren't in your room. It was pretty cold causing a shiver to run up your spine. You finally realized where you were. You were in a hospital room. You tried to remember what had happened. You woke up with a terrible headache but today was the day you finally had returned to school. You met up with Danielle and eventually the others joined you. You walked to your math class with jay and Hanni. Then you were walking with Danielle to your p.e class. It has all come back. Some dumb boy threw a stupid football too hard in your exact direction while you were standing on a bench causing you to fall and hit your head on the concrete floor. In Front of your whole p.e class. Potentially even more kids has seen you since it was passing period. You were incredibly embarrassed. You know how many popular kids you passed out in front of? You were about to continue with your mental rant except you had noticed that you had an IV and a feeding tube. Wait why exactly did you have a feeding tube? How long had you been here?

A while later a doctor came into your room, and introduced himself ad Mr.Lee. He then asked you some questions. He also explained that you had been in a coma for Two and a half weeksYou felt your heart drop to the bottom or your stomach. Two and a half weeks. How many days did you miss? All that school work must be piling up by now. Your grades your poor grades! You were thinking about this all without realizing Mr.lee had been calling your name, but suddenly a ringing sound accompanied by a sharp pain in the left side of your head causing you to hold your head in your hands.

"Y/n? Y/n!"

It went away as quickly as a it came

"Miss Y/n what was that? How do you feel?"

He said his tone full of concern

"I'm okay now but it was like a super loud ringing noise and a sharp pain on the left side of my head."

"I believe that was the side that you fell on when that ball hit you. It was a pretty harsh fall especially since you were at a distance from the ground. I think that was just a side affect that will go away as time passes."

After that he gave you a bag with your belongings. You searched for your phone and you texted the group chat that contained Danielle, Hanni, jay and Jake. You told them that you had woken up and you were wondering when you could go home but you got too scared to ask Mr.Lee before he left. They were glad you were finally woke up. When Mr.lee came back you asked him and he had let you know that they were conducting more thorough tests and that you needed to stay for further examination.

A few weeks had past and you still weren't out. You were getting bored and worried about your school work.

"Mr.Lee my mom asked me to ask you when I would be able to leave?"

"Miss y/n we were looking at your tests and we saw something but we still don't know what so we will have you keep you here for further examination, but don't worry Y/n we are trying our best to see what's up with you."

"Oh okay thanks you doctor."

Great there was something wrong with you after all and now you would be missing even more school. You decided to ask your friends to bring you your school work to the hospital so you could at least spend your time doing that. This day you didn't feel your best not even close but you were so bored. You asked your nurse if you could possibly go on a walk which she agreed to. You mentioned to her that you didn't feel great so she offered you a wheelchair. You agreed because why not at least your be able to get out of your room. You considered yourself lucky as your nurse was pretty young and acted more like your friend then a lady you took care of you. As she pushed you around the hospital you guys talked about random topics.

"Your pretty you for a nurse right?"

"oh not really I mean yeah I guess so but lately these days a lot of young people become nurses."

"I see."

"y'know how long it's been since I've talked to someone around my age? I'm glad I can talk to you!"

"Me too, Giselle! Not gonna lie but I was pretty nervous to talk to you at first not that your intimidating but I don't know y'know? Does that even make sense?" You said as you giggled

"Oh I could tell y/n but I could tell you were just shy that's all I'm glad you didn't run away when I first talked to you it looked like you were so scared when I finally did" she said as laughed at your behavior the first few days of your stay at the hospital.

You were laughing along with her until you you guys got to the lounge. You stopped laughing because you saw some guy who sat by a window looking out. He was really pale and tall. He had this mysterious aura to him. You wondered why he was here. You didn't notice how long you were staring until he eventually looked your way and you guys made long awkward eye contact. His eyes were pretty. You looked away once you came back to your senses. You sat a bit far from him. Giselle covered your view of him sadly.

"You were staring soo hard y/n.." Gisellse said it through her smile.

"Was I really? I didn't mean to I swear!! I just thought he looked about my age and I guess he looked alluring." You left out the fact that you thought he was pretty cute but your flustered face didn't.

"His name his sunghoon and hes from Korea but he's here to get treatment."

You hummed in response

"Pretty cute huh? Not my type but my little sister is practically in love with him. I can't blame her he literally looks like a model!! Don't worry though she's five so she doesn't have a chance." You could tell she was teasing you just a bit and your face got redder.

"I-uh um he is pretty good looking but it's not what you think!" It is exactly what she thinks

"He's pretty shy too I was his nurse for a bit, and he was so quiet. The only thing he ever said to me was 'thank you' or 'Please'. You guys have that in common and he's pretty lonely just like you when I'm not working."

You giggled. It was true though you were pretty lonely as when Giselle had school to attend to as she was studying to become a certain type of doctor. You notice Giselle's face lights up right before she speaks

"You guys should definitely become friends!!! Your lonely he's lonely perfect duo!! You should approach him first.Hmm you should go up and say hi right now!!"

"Huh wha- no way I couldn't. What if he's busy? " You try to reason with her but it was no use.

"Busy doing what? He's literally just staring out the window right now go say hi!!" Giselle was doing her best to sound as convincing as possible.

Maybe you should. No you wanted to be his friend, but the idea of you approaching him made your stomach so flips.

"Ohh c'mon y'know you want to!!" She read your face like a book. You had notice that she was really good at reading people so of course she knew you wanted a friend.

"Okay you're right I do but I don't.."

"You do but you don't? What does that even mean? Look he's nice and hell be happy you said hi trust me."

"Okay you're right but it's nerve-wracking I can't just go up to him. He probably thinks I'm some crazy girl."

"You're overthinking this Y/n, just go up to him and say hi!"

"You sure he won't call me crazy and shame me for saying hi and then push me out of my wheelchair?"

"Maybe you're right maybe you are a crazy girl."

"Was I being dramatic?

"Yeah a little y/n"

After that day Giselle had told you what he usually did and what days he did those things. He enjoyed going out onto the rooftop where the hospital grew gardens. He also took a walk around the hospital every day if he had the energy to do so. He also visited older patients on Sundays 'how sweet'. So like any sane person you decided to follow him around the hospital. You used the information Giselle had given you. You knew this was super weird and creepy but you really wanted to be friends with him. Giselle had other patients to attend to. Your friends couldn't visit you every day so you were pretty lonely most of the time.

"Is this what you consider normal? You've been following him for days now. Just say hi y/n."

"Yeah but that's kinda weird for me to say hi out of nowhere Giselle!"

"Oh but following him around the hospital isn't weird and not going to lie creepy?"

"What!! Y/n has been following that boy?" Danielle said covering her mouth. She was able to visit you before her art club began.

"Okay but it kinda is weird to just go up and say hi out of nowhere to him." You defended

"Heyyy I went up to you and said hi out of nowhere and that's how we became friends!!"

"Oh well that's normal for you and everyone wants to be your friend Danielle!!! Plus isn't your art club about to start?"

"Yeah I bet he wants to be your friend too Y/n!! And I have to go soon thanks for reminding me y/n!"

"She probably only reminded you because it's almost time for y/n to be a creep and follow sunghoon around."

"Giselle!!" You covered your face out of embarrassment after she had said that and you thrown a pillow in her direction lightly.

"Heyy I'm just being honest and visiting hours are almost over anyway it was really nice meeting you Danielle."

"Nice meeting you too Giselle! You both need to keep my updated with this I hope you become friends with sunghoon y/n."

"I hope so too bye bye Danielle!" You said as she pulled you into a hug and she left.

Once she had left Giselle helped you into your wheel chair and pushed you around the hospital. Once you guys finally saw sunghoon you started following him. This had been what you were doing in your free time. Which was all the time.

"Go say hi already!!" Giselle has been pushing you around for about 30 mins, and she had done this for the past few days.

"Noo not yet it's not the time yet!! You protested and with that she has pushed your wheel chair away from her and she left. She has pushed it and ran away. You hadn't really mastered how to use a wheelchair. Not that you needed it but Mr.lee had insisted that you used it. As you tried to maneuver it you were so focused you didn't hear footsteps coming towards you. You didn't really know how to turn. You moved your weight to one side to another trying to jump in place. That didn't really work out. You were so concentrated that you bumped into something. Wait no someone. Your head jolted up before you could even say sorry numerous times. You wished the earth would swallow you whole right in this moment.

"Uh hi?" He had a really pretty smile. Awkward yes but pretty nonetheless. When he smiled his fangs showed. 'cute'

"Uhm uh- Hi sunghoon!"

＼⁠(⁠◎⁠o⁠◎⁠)⁠／

I didn't mean for it to be this long and not get to the point sooner 😭 but yippie first chapter done!!!

[ariestrxsh]

hey im sorry but im ab to rant sm but i genuinely need advice. okay so basically, i’ve been talking to this younger guy since like late September/early october. we hit it off right away and we begin “talking” pretty early. we even said i love you. at classes, i always saw him around school and i know he saw me too but we never said anything. we would always text each other every night and every morning and tell each other how much we missed each other. i then sat with him at lunch and he was super shy and told me that later on when we facetimed. also, he has this gbsf that i asked him ab (bc he always hugs her right in front of me and doesnt hug me) and he told me that they’ve known each other since they were younger and that she has a bf. he told me it was nothing to worry about. after that, we started idk acting like a couple (really only on text bc hes super fucking shy.) so i asked him, “hey what are we?” and he said that we were talking but that he couldnt date bc his mom didnt want to date anyone bc of a girl he recently dated and how much she broke up when they broke up. before he told me that, she walked up to us at lunch and was talking to him but i didnt really think much of it. BUT. one day i was sitting at lunch with my friend and i saw him and his ex sitting and talking about something and i was a bit yk weirded out so i kept watching them. then, they got up and hugged PASSIONATELY. i then started crying and texted him later asking him wtf was that, he was just saying that she wanted a hug a couple weeks before that and that they were friends and that it’s completely normal to hug friends. i told him that i never hugged any of my guy friends ESPECIALLY if they’re my ex. like wtf??? anyways, we moved on from that, and hes been flirting with me and saying he misses me ever since then. we sat at lunch together last friday and he was again “shy” so we didnt talk much. yesterday, i was at my barn and we were texting again and i was saying how cute my horse was and he was like “so are you❤️” im lowkey abt to post screenshots bc im getting a bit lazy. today, i saw him at school and we talked a bit but at the parking lot, he again hugged his gbsf super tight you would think they were dating and i was RIGHT next to him and he didnt say anything. so, after work i texted him this.

and then i told my friends everything and they’re saying to completely ghost him and block him but idk. what should i do? ik im not on anon bc i wouldnt be able to add screenshots.

I think you should just tell him exactly how you feel. I know it's easy to use, "you did this," and "you are this," but when you use, "I feel like (insert feeling here) when you do (insert their action here)," people are less inclined to get defensive. If you want a relationship and he doesn't, the two of you may be incompatible. If you find it uncomfortable that he's talking to his ex or that he has a girl best friend, and he thinks it's perfectly normal, the two of you may be incompatible. Just ask him what he wants and where he's willing to budge for you if you do want to be with him. Idk if that makes sense. 💖 I hope this helps.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Swiftie Anon

Hi guys! I got an ask from an anon that might be triggering so I'm copy-pasting it here so I can put a 'read more' button. I'm naming them Swiftie Anon because they said Taylor really helped them.

TW: SH, SI

Hi Cas, hope you’re ok, because I sure as hell am not. Trigger warning, like mentions of self harm and stuff like that I think.

I’m a seventh grader and recently I’ve been thinking about killing myself a lot more than I usually do. During the pandemic I was in 3rd grade and I kinda realized how much life sucked, but when I went back to school in 5th grade, I realized that this hadn’t occurred to anyone else. I kind of brushed it off bc I’ve always been sort of a pessimist but then I sixth grade I started having suicidal thoughts, I think. I just felt really done with everything, I didn’t want to draw or read or write, and my parents were pissed all the time, it felt like my friends were bored of me (I have abandonment issues from all my friends in elementary school leaving me) (I think)and I thought it would just be easier to not exist anymore, it wasn’t that good. I discovered Taylor, the angel that she is, she just felt…like a friend, like she was right there, you know, and I’ve been mostly okay-ish since. But school fucking sucks and in 7th grade I had to do a presentation in front of my class and I started crying and hyperventilating, I couldn’t even stand up. I think I have anxiety idk. I’ve always been shy, and I’ve hyperventilated before when my parents were yelling at me about stuff and my arms started bleeding because I was digging my nails into them. My parents found out at conferences and I got grounded. my brother knows bc he walked in on me crying and hyperventilating once but he’s leaving for college next year and idk how the fuck I’ll stay together without him. My younger sister and I are really close, but I don’t want to drag her in onto this stuff. And ik once I get to high school it’ll be even worse bc high school sounds horrible and I might be all alone again bc I might not go to the same high school as my friends

I haven’t said a word about this to anyone voluntarily and I know I can’t tell my parents. I always lie on those surveys you get at the doctor, and my parents are always saying I should have a more positive outlook on life and try to be happier and it makes me so pissed bc I am trying as hard as I can to be happening but nothing fucking works.

idk what do with myself anymore, a teacher mentioned college today and I almost broke down sobbing bc I don’t think I’ll let myself live that long. It’s just…really hard and everyday feels like years. Should I tell someone? I’m not as bad as I was in 6th grade, but I know I should be getting help somehow. But I suck at asking for things and I can’t trust any adults.

sorry for the rant, I just need some advice. And a virtual, pat on the head or something, idk.

---

Hi hon!

First, (with your permission), I'm like to give you a virtual hug, because it sounds like you're dealing with a lot <3

I'm gonna be really real with you right now: You need to ask for some help. You have a lot going on, and some really heavy feelings, and you don't deserve to be dealing with them at ALL, let alone by yourself.

You're young, and you have SO MUCH life left to enjoy, and suffering through it like this isn't fair. So I'm going to share something about myself with you, okay?

When I was younger, I was very depressed. I was in a bad relationship and I felt very trapped, and I got to a point similar to you.

One day, I got so overwhelmed that I sort of realized that I either needed to ask for help or I would end up making a really bad decision. So, I asked for help.

Again, I'm going to be real: It was SUPER scary. I had to see a lot of doctors and I cried a lot. But after a lot of work, I was able to get better, and now, years later, I am in a (different) healthy relationship, and I have a job and a pet, and I'm here talking to you.

I know this sounds stupid because it's like some feel-good story and right now I'm sure you feel less than great. But I say this because you NEED to ask for help, even if it is difficult. Because there are real things past this feeling. A future job, a future relationship (if you want), a future pet, future kids (if you want). They're all very real and achievable and this feeling is temporary, even thought it feels so permanent right now.

So I'm going to give you some options, since it seems like you don't want to talk to your parents:

Talk to a doctor. Doctors are trained to help you, and they have a lot of resources.

Talk to a trusted teacher. Teachers can sometimes be amazing resources as well, and a lot of them want to listen when you ask to talk.

Talk to a different adult (aunt, uncle, coach, someone!) that you feel close to that will help.

Call/text/message a hotline. Here is an example of a hotline you can talk to via messaging, text, or phone, depending on what you prefer.

But you need to ask for help, because you DESERVE to be happy and living your best life.

It would make me super happy if you message/inboxed me an update, whether you're doing better, worse, or the same! I'm so proud of you for reaching out and I'm cheering you on!

[screampied]

ok finally got home, so i can resend the fucking shit ass big ass rant/answer i made for you.

so, first, hello my sweet vegas, how was your day? mine was extremely tiring and i was starving for most part of it, good thing is i managed to have for dinner what i was craving the most: street food. except it was at home. except it was industrial and not home made. fucking incredible either way.

i met lad through random scenes people uploaded on tik tok, at first i was hooked on zayne, but then somehow sylus got tied on a chair and there was a whip passing over his chest. i was doomed.

i love being a squirtling, can’t wait till i become a certified one (that’s for non anons right?)

see, me personally i like knives, because i am a scream fan. but, when i used to role play, there was this one character with this whole bad boy killer vibe and i compared him with this emoji 🪓, so how tf do i explain that this thing gets me giggling and blushing and wanting to be manhandled? no way, one can’t do that. unless one is me, sending an anon to you. honestly, the only thing toji would never be allowed to put near my coochie is that one worm is his. i have phobia with those types of animals, and it took me months to even think toji looked attractive because every time i saw him, i saw that ugly bitch hanging on him. nowadays, however, i would like to exchange places. i mean i can hang on his big muscles pretty easily and i can swallow whatever he wants me to, hihi.

my favorite thing about the 70’s and 80’s style is the fluffy hair. i have natural curly hair, it goes up and wild but unfortunate after too much bullying i put chemicals. i miss it, but the process of getting it back is so ugly that i just do heartless curls and brush them. last month i did for a birthday party of a friend and everyone was enchanted by it, i felt really cute!!

i’ve never seen rocketman either, don’t think i will, because…as i said, i’m a little shit younger sibling and they love elton john, so i’m bound to not like him. i secretly do. i have seen bohemian rhapsody, i fell even more in love with ben hardy, he was so delicious in it. rami malek was presente in my childhood (the museum movie idk the name in english), early teens (twilight!!! one of my favs characters) and full teens (bohemian), so i’m always going to love him. he is very dedicated, passionate, i so loved his perfomance and i’m sure freddie would’ve as well.

scotland is a dream of mine, as well. something about cozy, something about their accent, something about the lands. i like it very much. if i were to go to the usa i would love to go to oregon or washington. i like cold weather, big dark trees and feeling like not doing nothing but stare at the rain and forest through a fogged window. i would also fucking die to go to new orleans.

you need to go to vegas and take a pic under the welcome to las vegas. hm, actually that gave me an idea, you should do a theme like that. it would be fun and cool. about you going to vegas, just open up a venmo and your squirts will get you there, first class and all.

omg your blog birthday is near my birthday, that’s so cool. i’m going to add a print of your acc on my cake and make everyone celebrate it. my favorite season’s aesthetic is fall, but my country’s fall is not that nice so i rather go with spring, because is my birthday time and i love the end of the year, there is just something so beautiful and dazing about it.

questions for the day is, what pronouns you feel more comfortable being addressed or is both fine? and what would you take with you in case a zombie apocalypse happened? would you go through if the zombies were like zombieland or tlof?

the pronouns question is because just like you i use two (she!him) and it’s been such a long time since people addressed me by him, i think they just kinda of forgot. which is totally fine because i use she!her and i’m mostly fem presenting, but sometimes i want to be called handsome and have a tall ass gorgeous baby calling me good boy? is that too much to ask? oh wait, nanami came into my mind being the one saying that. oh shit, oh shit, oh shit..

nutty anon.

NUTTY MCNUT POOK 🙂‍↕️💓.

hello my beautiful nut anon <3. my day was pretty okay, it was sooooo cold n i was jus staying warm with my lil doggies. i have sm work to do tmrw which sucks 🤒🤒. i hope u get some good rest !! ouuugh street food sounds so yum.

PAHAHAH yeah lads is pretty popular on tik tik. especially sylus since he’s a fairly new character. yeah that scene was very !!!!!!!! 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️. i only have his shower scene n it kills me everytime

IMGLAD YOU LOVE BEING A SQUIRTLING 💓🎀. oooh no, anon or not you’re all squirtlings to me :))) so technically you are one the day you started sending me asks cxxx

bye ur so real about toji being ugly ????? i just couldn’t see it for MONTHS. i guess the ‘bum’ and ‘oh he lives in a cardboard box’ really turned me away from him but now that i read the manga and actually read ab his lore / character that’s not !!!!!!!!! like he’s a freeloader sure but 💔💔💔. he’s handsome, the scar only adds to it omg. LMAO NOT THE WORM i always found it kinda cute is it just me 😿😿. i wanna poke it n see what happens.

yesssyeys !!! i loved the fluffy hair era in the 70s & 80s too !!!!! everyone had such good style, ugh i wish i could have experienced it. same i have naturally curly hair too but i think m gonna cut it for my birthday 🧎‍♀️. im srry u got bullied into putting chemical in it :(( but AHHH THATS NICEE i bet you looked so pretty / handsome

trust when i go to vegas m gonna do a whole ass vlog 🤞🏽. omg that’ll be so silly. me pointing at the welcoming sign n being like “yoh omg guys that’s me.” STOPPPP A VEGAS THEMEEEE. i kinda did one when i first started but it only lasted for like a week 🧍🏽‍♀️. no one rly remembers bc i didn’t post back then but it was more casino themed it was sooooo fetch

ur gonna put a print of my blog on ur cake that’s so adorable STOP 🤒🤒🤒. but omg it is. it’s craaaazy to think i’ve been here for almost a year? pheeewww time goes by so quick.

i use they/them pronouns but everyone addresses me by she / her accept some close moots which is fine !!!!! so now i don’t mind any, im okay with they, him, or she. 🎀 what would i take in a zombie apocalypse hmmmm. water, my phone, socks, lotion, vaseline, and errrm lots of clothes.

NANAMI YOU SAAAAAY 🌞🌞. he’s so fine i wanna have his blond babies

[wegonbealright-09]

https://www.tumblr.com/wegonbealright-09/730338875623489536/this-clip-is-my-roman-empire-idk-what-that

it just goes to show that taehyung is, in fact, a disrespectful, jealous man. i can't wrap my head that jimin is just two months older than him, when taehyung behaves like a child. whenever i see clips of him trying to belittle, insult or humiliate jimin just because he shines so much and loves so much the stage, all i can think of are those children who go to their friends' birthday parties and then start to throw tantrums because they aren't the ones receiving the attention or the gifts. aside from the fact he started to compliment jimin in the most backhanded way possible ("you didn't use to have confidence, now that you have abs and whatever you do"), he purposefully compliments him just to throw jimin under the bus not even a minute later just to complain about the very thing he was complimenting jimin at the start. in other words, he basically said that jimin was now overconfident and that was bothersome— and look how there wasn't a single member who disagreed with it, even at some level.

however, despite taehyung blatantly insulting jimin, the most infuriating part is when jimin actually tries to stand up for himself as he started to say "but wasn't it in the past?" and fuckass yoongi interrupts him to "let taehyung finish", just to moments later interrupt taehyung himself and start to make everyone gang up on jimin. i watched the video a couple of times to see if there was any member who didn't laugh, mock him or come at his throat, but there wasn't— at some point, everyone is making fun of him. obviously, i have no way to tell if some members just found the situation amusing (like hoseok and jungkook, who were laughing from the start) or members who clearly had a problem with jimin's confidence and, through taehyung's letter, found the perfect way to expose this (notice how, right after yoongi, jin starts to mock jimin for coming in between his selfies).

it was crystal clear how uncomfortable, if not straight up hurt, jimin was from the start, but he just sulked even more when everyone jumped on the bandwagoon dedicated to insult and mock him. and, regardless, he still left the situation as the bigger person, and the way he handled everything that taehyung and the others said, with such class, maturity and elegance, just made the members look like clowns in my view lol.

i saw many trying to excuse this moment and say that they were young and immature, and while this could be true, this doesn't exclude the fact they always gangued up on jimin years later (think that live after they spoke at the un where they mocked jimin for messing up his speech). and some of them were almost 30. this isn't how friendship works, and if people think this is normal friend's behavior, they are the ones who should have their concepts reviewed. normal friends don't try to insult or humiliate you in private, let alone in public to expose you to even more criticism. they don't give you backhanded compliments and always seem jealous of you and your success. they don't ignore your existence in public and only go to you when they need something. they don't forget to support you. this isn't being a friend, this is being toxic.

whew, that was a rant.

if I hear anyone excusing the members by saying " it's just boys being boys" Imma buy me a glock and someone is gonna have eternal sleep

[i-trash-about-things]

Motherfucker is about to go on a rant at 2 am, get your pitchforks ready

So, if I remember correctly, Mike is often portrayed at the paladin of the Party, right? He's the heart and all

Bitch, where

what do you MEAN he's a paladin

Maybe it's because it's one of my favorite classes in D&D and Mike it's not my favorite character in ST, but I don't see the connection one bit???

According to google, Mike is a paladin because of his dedication to Eleven and doing the right thing. Going through that logic, he would basically be a paladin with the oath of devotion which I guess makes sense with his stance on season 1 and 2.

But after season 3... I don't know, dude, he just doesn't give me paladin vibes. He isn't particularly courageous or takes the front lines, he's supposed oath of devotion shoots him on the foot because his girlfriend broke up with him (and if you want to include Will in this, there's a whole break up scene in season 3 too– AND THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 4) so he's just kinda... There.

And if it's the whole thing with being "the heart"– in my opinion, Will it's much more the heart than him. I never saw him as the center of the party. Like Dustin said in season 2(? I think?) The Party is a democracy. It feels a lot like the boys have friendships amongst themselves, instead of everyone being connected through Mike... That honestly feels like Mike is more attached to Will and Will connects him to the rest of the party but I digress.

I guess Mike is called Paladin these days because he doesn't really fit in any other class after season 2. Idk, I'm not the biggest Mike fan, but if you want to prove me wrong, please comment. Like, genuinely, I want to talk about this SO BAD

I NEED MORE FRIENDS INTO D&D

(Also be can we stop calling Eleven a mage, she's a sorcerer goddamnit)

[loveandscience]

been in and out of intense anxiety the last couple days, so maybe writing it here will help

Okay so my old dentist who I loved retired, and gave his practice over to a new guy. Tuesday, I went to try out the new dentist and very loudly in the next room while I had my teeth cleaned, he was telling someone how they didn't need a crown or something because God designed the perfect teeth system?????

And as soon as he introduces himself to me, he out of the blue goes on about a "beautiful sermon I heard" on the way to work, and how this really ill woman had so much faith that she would just get better, and that she "touched Jesus" and was instantly healed. I'm sitting there with his sharp tools in my mouth and he's going on a religious rant and what the fuck am I going to do? He does tell me I have 2 cavities, then overcharges me for the cleaning and "exam."

Decided I really needed a new fucking dentist, and thankfully my friends suggested some to try. So Wednesday, I called a place and they got me in, and they were so nice and professional and I really liked them! They did another exam on me and apparently the last dentist (maybe the one before, too) had missed an entire fucking dead tooth???? It's been discolored for years but old dentist never thought it was an issue... Apparently it's dead and needs a root canal. Who the fuck knows how long it's been dead. Terrifying. Also they say it's 3 cavities not 2.

Anxious about the root canal, I've never had one, and it's so expensive. The same day I have my root canal, I also am driving somewhere I've never been an hour away to see my new liver doctor, and that's also terrifying.

On top of those expenses, I'm hoping to sign kiddo up for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu lessons bc I think it'll be really good for them and they are really interested.

But I've also had several clients transition to every other week or end, which is good they're doing better. I also have less income though so need to market again for new clients. Husband was planning to increase his income by taking classes paid for by work, but the classes are taking so long that I wouldn't be surprised if it takes all year, which is not what we'd hoped for a timeline.

Pet Day at kiddo's school is coming up and last year's Pet Day, we brought our cat who ended up dying shortly after. He had cancer which obviously wasn't caused by Pet Day, but I do think he picked up a virus which might have exacerbated the cancer. I'm planning to make sure every kid sanitizes their hands before touching the cat we bring this time, and bringing the young healthy one instead of the old frail one. Still some anxiety.

Wanted to take kiddo to this snow place in FL this weekend, but tickets plus parking are 100 dollars, yikes. So been incredibly anxious about that. Just before clicking buy I checked and it's supposed to be thunderstorms that day, so texted the friend we were planning to go with and hoping we can put that off... Really anxious they might have already bought tickets even though they said they'd wait til after I bought ours (maybe they could pick up on my anxiety around committing, idk).

So the common theme, laying these all out, seems to be financial. Which is sad, because I wanted to scale back on work and be able to rest more and focus on my health, but with husband not likely to be making much more money any time soon, it means I need to work more hours. Which is hard with the amount of dr appointments I'm going to have to be having.

At least... I got a little while of getting to work out almost daily and rest up.