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koteosa · 4 years

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here’s some modern au headcanons for the arcana ... it’s something I think about a lot

Asra

gamer memeing shitlord . he majored in minecraft you cannot convince me otherwise

plays A Lot of minecraft but also just enjoys any similar sort of game, sdv, animal crossing, etc. He’s really good at video games but he’s just fucking around . he likes to play online games and try his best to make everyone hate him in a really harmless sort of way . he heals the enemy spy . changes his display name and avatar to be exactly the same as someone else . tells people to go into the console and type unbindall

he plays games with his friends and he’s usually the top player so he just spends his time spoiling the shit out of his friends giving them good items carrying them through dungeons etc but not Julian, he tells Julian to dig straight down in minecraft . Julian doesn’t ever know what he’s doing in any video game so Asra trains him wrong on purpose, as a joke

anyway enough about video games (for now)

Asra lives in a van that he painted the exterior of himself, it was both a fun project and a very smug way to annoy people with this awful fucking hippie van strolling into town, eat shit

it’s decorated with crystals, furs, fairy lights, mason jars full of food For The Aesthetic, books, etc. It’s very cozy, cottagecore / bohemian and it’s ridiculously obvious that he’s into witchcraft. he just lets Faust explore because this isn’t real and I can pretend that a snake is exactly as well behaved as in a fantasy story

basically homeless by choice

drugs tw but I see him as the type to want to try anything and everything at least once so if he’s ever been offered A Drug (and he crashes parties for fun and for free food, so he’s got opportunities) he’ll try it Just To See, and this has resulted in some bad trips before, but Muriel saw him in the middle of one and then after he sobered up Muriel put his foot down and made Asra agree to only do these things as responsibly as possible, like, with supervision from a friend

still drugs tw but I also see Asra as a stoner but in the cbd edibles sort of way, a lot of this is because I headcanon Asra as having ADD (because I do and I want to project a little bit) so it helps him focus but also he just Likes It. the glove box of his car has like, chocolate/lollipop edibles stuff like that

goes between like super healthy elaborate meals with mushrooms and veggies and fresh meat and shit and then just eating nothing but cheez-its all day

style wise I see him as the type to wear a lot of tank tops, like, the loosest of tank tops so it hangs super low and long and you get some nice cleavage out of it, crystal necklaces, gold jewelry, pride pins/jewelry/etc (trans/nonbinary/bisexual flags), oversized hoodies with loud colorful patterns, joggers and other loose comfy pants, and either boots or slippers

he’s got like... the at home look that’s basically what I just described, and then the away from home look that’s got thirty layers and none of it makes sense and he just shows up in orange crocs With Patterned Socks and everyone who sees him just lets out the heaviest sigh

Asra getting home be like (takes off a layer of clothes) (takes off a layer of clothes) (takes off a layer of clothes) (takes off a layer of clothes) (takes off a l

He likes to go on long road trips completely at random and saves up money to go on more extensive trips like, out of the continent. It can be really hard to place him at any given time, especially because he’s extremely slow to respond to texts for a whole multitude of reasons. He just fucking vanishes sometimes and he doesn’t get that maybe people want to know where he is. He’s too solitary

He makes money either via street performances (magic, tarot readings, etc) or selling shit on etsy like handmade tarot decks, crystal necklaces, magic charms, etc. He Has Never Worked A Day In His Life and He Will Not Start Now

Responsibility? Don’t know her

People ask him really obnoxious questions sometimes and he makes outlandish lies to tell them for fun . Why do you live in a van? A house killed my parents

In the fall/winter he lives with Muriel or more to the point, he crashes on his couch for a really long time and Muriel’s landlord doesn’t need to know about it for rent purposes

Julian

he’s a highly paid doctor and your mother would love it if you’d marry him if not for the fact that he looks like he never left his teenage emo phase

PIERCINGS

There’s DEFINITELY at least one piercing on his d

he lives with Portia and Mazelinka and tries to handle all their expenses but Mazelinka won’t fucking let him

soundproofed his room but not because he’s a youtuber or anything but because he uh. y’know what I’m gonna let y’all figure this one out on your own

goes to like............. lgbt friendly bdsm clubs every now and then looking for someone to step on him and call him garbage it’s for his mental health you don’t understand

black turtlenecks . silver jewelry . distinguished but Edgy as well, black boots, winklepickers, doc martens, ohmygod this is my SHIT I’m giving him red plaid pants and a reversed cross necklace and a leather jacket that says some radical shit on the back and Lots of Rings . black jeans with tears in the knees and black eyeshadow, demonia boots, leather gloves, hhhhhhOHmy GOD

catch him at home in black leggings and a my chemical romance tshirt with holes in it . he wakes up in the morning with yesterday’s makeup and he just cleans it up a little and that’s good enough

fairly small bedroom because he’s usually never at home, but it’s still pretty clear what he’s into even if it’s not super decorated or elaborate, kind of just Default Room but with his stuff arranged throughout . band posters, black furniture, a bed that looks like a depressed vampire sleeps in it, a bookshelf but most of the books are scattered around his desk, bed, and the floor. there’s a taxidermy skull on display somewhere because it’s just so dramatic you gotta love it

plays a black electric violin

extremely out of tune with pop culture he still listens to 70-00s music and he doesn’t know what a minecraft is or why Asra keeps yelling CREEPER when he comes into the room nor why Portia yells back AW MAN

I googled it and he qualifies as a millennial but I still see him as such a fucking old man who doesn’t know how to use electronics

despite being a doctor he’s so unhealthy . he eats nothing but depression meals (or just, nothing) unless someone forces him to sit down and eat an actual meal . No Julian whiskey does not count for your daily water intake

Malak probably happened because Julian wouldn’t stop feeding every black bird he saw just for the aesthetic and that was like 17 years ago but they still show up at his window expecting almonds or whatever the fuck . he changes houses but they’re too smart . you try to be a cool gothic thespian with a raven that will pose on your arm ONE time when you’re a teenager and they just never stop coming

sad lonely no friends hasn’t been laid in six years because he’s too busy and no longer remembers how to form meaningful relationships. Portia keeps being like so I met this really hot (insert gender here) and like idk I think they’re into goth dudes............... just saying...................... and he’s like am I really so pathetic that I’m going to let my baby sister set up blind dates for me? Yes

would drive something very goth like a hearse or some shit if not for the fact that his family would make sure he ends up in a coffin in the back of it if he drove up in that shit . please . buy a normal fucking car . Julian . oh my god

he starts quoting melodramatic poetry at the slightest inconvenience . he is that “All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread. My cat stole my fucking garlic bread” meme

been arrested multiple times for general rowdiness but also for political activism . at this point Portia/Mazelinka will just sigh and pay his bail and they don’t even ask what he did this time . how does he still have a job? I wish I knew

theater kid

Muriel

lives in a rundown apartment in the shitty part of town because it’s all he can afford, it’s quiet, and no one will try to visit him (except Asra) because no one wants to go to THAT part of town . but no harm will likely ever befall him because he’s 6′10 and like three million pounds of raw muscle with battle scars like you gonna fuck with that? really?

even if he got robbed it wouldn’t matter because A) he doesn’t own anything B) Inanna will chase the thief away

depression man staying in his quiet rundown dark apartment distracting himself with idle hobbies and taking care of his dog to prevent the encroaching ennui from tearing him a new asshole

changes jobs frequently both because he never stands out therefore never gets taken on full time after the part time trial period, AND to protect himself from the horror of being known

works mostly things like construction, auto repair, dog sitting/walking/etc, woodworking, mostly hard labor but if he can convince granny to let a very scary but completely harmless man look after her bichon frise for the weekend then he’s pretty happy about that

in a similar manner, he orders everything online so cashiers/etc won’t start to recognize him. delivery workers leave everything outside his door and he just drags it inside after they leave like an itazura kitty coin bank

goes camping a lot because staying cooped up in his apartment is super bad for his mental health and he doesn’t like to take walks through the city for a multitude of reasons. he takes Inanna on walks through the woods instead

Asra is his only friend and that’s fine (it’s not fine)

convinced therapy doesn’t work and he wants nothing to do with it

doesn’t like using electronics and only keeps a few things around his house so Asra can use them when he’s around . Muriel has a phone (that Asra got for him) so he can text Asra, check the time, check the weather, google questions, and like, nothing else

pretty much only happy when something is about dogs. he wants to go to the pet store and look at the dogs but he needs Asra to go with him so Asra can distract the workers and Muriel can look at the puppies in peace

dresses in blacks, grays, greens, and browns for the most part, jacket with the hood up, tank tops, dark jeans with tears in them, brown boots with mud stains on them . functional, not particularly stylish, and if he’s going to be in public he doesn’t want to make it easy for anyone to see his face. at home it’s mostly no shirt + sweatpants/joggers/etc. doesn’t accessorize or put in any real effort. he doesn’t care what he looks like (because he’s convinced he’s not much to look at anyway)

lives that super eco friendly life like Asra does but it’s more that he just feels comfortable living like he’s always on a camping trip

he doesn’t want to eat junk like Asra does but if Asra shows up with mcdonalds then well he can’t really say no

the type who uses something until he absolutely cannot use it anymore instead of just buying a new one

has never been to a doctor, dentist, etc Ever. the most he can do is take Inanna to the vet because he loves her so much

drives a very old pickup truck with like, chipped paint and mud stains. he’d take better care of it if only anything in life mattered

didn’t go to school

Portia

I like to think that she took on a groundskeeping job at Nadia’s very expensive large house and they fell in love and now Nadia pays for everything and Portia just spends her time gardening, playing with Pepi, and like idk running a vlogging/gaming youtube channel

200 videos of Pepi on her youtube channel with 4 million views each bare minimum . takes random videos of cats where she has to audio edit it to shit so you can’t hear her high pitched squeals of delight

minecraft let’s play part 30 where her, Asra, Nadia, and Julian play together and it’s extremely chaotic because Asra and Portia decide to gang up on Julian who does NOT know what he’s doing, and then Nadia surprises them all by not being the bigger person and instead tricking Julian into some elaborate trap where he steps on a trapdoor and falls 15 blocks into some lava and he looks up and all he sees is Nadia’s smug fucking avatar looking down at him

nightcore. it’s just not FAST enough

wears sweaters with cats on them. generally dresses in warm colors + brown/green, it’s like a very soft cozy look that you could go camping in or just generally be outside and get grass stains and whatnot. cute, functional

likes to make Julian do things for her like drive her places etc because like, he will. he always will

really likes social gatherings with her friends; sleepovers, beach trips, sitting at mcdonalds and pouring all their fries into a pile etc. tries to get Julian to go with her but he’s Just So BUSY. she makes fun of him and makes him drive her to it, then manages to convince him to stay

cottagecore aesthetic . she just thinks it’s so cute to have the little mason jars and decorate everything with leaves and flowers and BEES and whatnot . would love to live in a little cottage with a farm if she could

her room has a big cat tree in it . green wallpaper with yellow flowers. pressed flowers into books, an extremely cozy bed, fairy lights, it’s very farmy but also there’s a lot of electronics. she’s got a lot of 00s games, like, right in that ps2 sweet spot

nicknames all of her pokemon

she spoils the ever loving shit out of Pepi. She’s got a little cat harness and they go on walks through the park together

I don’t have a lot to say about the other two I Am Sorry

#the arcana #julian devorak #asra alnazar #muriel #portia devorak #nix hydra #text #writing #modern au #headcanon #the arcana writing

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crimson-wrld · 3 years

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Caged

Helloo my name on here is Crimson, you can call me that or Z. I found the whump community recently, it's always something I've enjoyed but just recently found the name for on a random check-in to Tumblr lol. I've followed a lot of cool blogs and done my fair share of lurking and reblogging before I decided now is the time to share one of my writings. I have also been thinking about making a new whump story, just for my tumblr here and maybe posting drabbles too.

I write a story over on Wattpad (lol) that is very whumpy and this is a snippet of my most recent chapter. Now here is some context because this is from chapter 38 meaning there are a lot of characters and I felt like it sounded better without changing them to their respective roles, so I hope it's not confusing.

The backstory is that the whumpees are being held in captivity by the whumpers. The whumpers are watching back a video of the narrator whumpee from the night before while making the whumpees serve them. Lucas did not know what happened and gets distracted by a part of the video, which is where this starts.

Whumpers (nicknamed) - Hardhead, Vicious, Baldy, Chip, Sasquatch, Crazy

Whumpees - Talon (narrator, also referred to as Mutt), Lucas (also referred to as Runt)

Caretaker - Sebastian (is a romantic partner to Talon the narrator)

((I've never done this before so I'm not totally sure how to write the CW and tags but I'm trying. Just know that this is heavy writing))

CW: brief implied past noncon, brief noncon mentions, past noncon drugging mention, brief slut-shaming language, captivity, choking, manhandling, hair pulling, claustrophobia, sensory deprivation, multiple whumpers, multiple whumpees, dehumanization, suffocation, stress position, collared, restraints, muzzled/gagged, blood, sleep deprivation, hallucinations, thinking they're going to die (please let me know if I missed anything)

"This is my favourite part!" I hear Hardhead exclaim loudly, then the tv becomes louder, so blaringly loud that it sounds like I have my ear flush against one of those really big box speakers. Lucas continues grabbing a case of beer from the fridge but we both turn our heads toward the tv at the sudden volume change.

It's the part where the drug kicks in and Hardhead has me on his lap facing the tripod camera, hand squeezing the life out of my neck. I can hear myself desperately struggling for air, trying to plead for help, something... for it all to stop- but the drug turns my words into mush. I can see it from another perspective this time, I can see my face losing colour and the sort of foggy memories of it come flooding back.

Then I see his hand trail down my stomach. My arms are weakly flailing out and trying to pull his other hand off of my neck. Then his hands are on my privates and in real life, I look away from the tv. Tears are falling down my face as I hear him verbally teasing me on the video, calling me a whore and laughing at me as I try to breathe. I was so drugged I don't even remember that.

"I bet you like that, dirty whore, don't you?" I hear him say. I start to bring my hands up to cover my ears.

The sound of a gasp and shattering glass fills the room and I jerk my head up to Lucas. He's holding the fridge door open and is staring at the tv, mouth agape and face horrified. It's like a train wreck- he just can't look away. The pack of beer he was holding is on the floor, bottles now in a million pieces scattered around, beer puddling in the tiles and spreading all over the place.

"Shit," I say, staring wide-eyed at the mess on the floor.

"What the fuck was that?!" Vicious yells from the living room.

Lucas snaps out of it then, looking down at the foam bubbles and liquid and glass all culminating together.

"Oh no--- What do I do?!" He whispers, voice cracking in panic. My heart is pounding in my chest harder now. Without much thought, I make a hasty decision.

"Don-don't worry-- I'll take the blame," I say, stepping closer to the broken box so it seems more believable. I hear the couch creaking and steps nearing the kitchen.

I just don't want to see him get hurt.

"Wait don--" Lucas starts to say but falls silent when Hardhead and Vicious walk through the door.

I can hear Hardheads voice echoing in my head, "Rule four; listen. Do what I say. If you don't, I'll punish you- if you make a mistake ill punish you too."

I know I've only known him for about two days, and the situation is deathly far from ideal, but I kind of see him as like a little brother, and I feel the strong obligation to protect him from these terrible terrible fucking people.

"What the hell are you two dogs doing in here?" Hardhead yells, looking down and seeing the mess between our feet. "Which one of you bitches did that?" He yells louder, his face getting angrier.

They take their beer really seriously.

Before Lucas can say anything I look Hardhead in the face and speak in my still semi-croaky voice, "I- I did it. I'm sorry Master." I say bowing my head after.

Lucas looks at me with wide worried eyes speaking, "No! I--"

"Shut the fuck up Runt! Go grab a mop and clean this shit up." Hardhead demands. Lucas brokenly stares between me and Hardhead. I can see the guilt on his face.

Viscous taps his foot, grumbling, "Do it now, Runt."

Lucas looks back at me again, and I give him a nod of encouragement. He frowns and reluctantly leaves to grab the stuff to clean.

"Now Mutt, you sit." Vicious instructs, hooking his finger through the collar loop and pulling me down, letting go when I allow myself to fall to my knees the rest of the way. I feel some of the glass slice into my knees and legs and I hiss, not daring to move though.

"I'm sorry Master's- it just, just slipped," I plead, seeing if I can maybe lessen whatever this punishment is going to be.

Hardhead chuckled evilly, "Oh you're gonna be sorry." He crossed his arms over his chest and takes a single step forward. Lucas gets back into the kitchen now, keeping his eyes trained to the floor as he starts sweeping some of the glass from the floor a little further away.

"Nevermind that for now Runt. Let's have a show. There's something I've been wanting to try for a while now. This is the perfect teaching moment..." he says creeping right up next to me. He grabbed me by my hair tightly and pulled me awkwardly behind him into the living room where the rest of the men are still finishing the rest of the video. Vicious follows closely behind, tugging Lucas by the arm.

I rub my head when he lets go and tosses me to the floor. I hit the ground with a groan, the wounds on my chest bursting with pain, quickly scrambling to get on to my knees though, so I don't get in more trouble. I remember they like me in this position when I got into trouble before.

I whimper when I feel the glass in my knees push in deeper, and I try to pull as much as I can out when they turn away. I manage to get most of it out and I hold my hands over the wounds with pressure to hopefully stop the bleeding.

"Tie him up please," Hardhead says to Vicious, louder than the rest of the conversation. Then he opens the door to the basement and quickly disappears down the stairs.

Vicious smirks, saying, "Don't mind if I do." He opens up a drawer of a dresser on a wall nearby and pulls out a few bundles of rope. They keep that stuff everywhere- because they're sadists.

He stalks toward me until he's behind me, and he shoves me onto my stomach. I reflexively put my arms out in front of me so they don't get crushed and see there's now blood smeared on my hands- more than I expected.

Vicious planted one of his knees on my back to keep me down and the other knee on one side of my body to trap me even more. He grabbed my arms and forced them behind my back. I grit my teeth when he tightly ties new ropes over the deep wounds from yesterday's ones. Then he takes hold of my elbows and jerks them closer together. I gasp and let out a surprised yelp. This would hurt regardless; because elbows are not supposed to bend that way, but it also brings my injured shoulder into an extremely uncomfortable position. I squirm and struggle without even realizing, kicking my feet slightly and raising my head, mouth open in a silent cry of anguish.

All I really notice is Lucas onlooking the scene with a deep frown, twiddling his fingers before a hand tangles in my hair and shoves my face into the rug on the floor.

"Calm it down there, doggy," Crazy laughs, pushing my head down more than should even be possible. The shag rug tickles the side of my face and I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel more rope wrap around my elbows. They pull taught, but not touching, and only because I'm not flexible enough to do that, because if I could, Vicious would have done it. There's no slack though, the rope is so tight that I can't move my arms apart at all, and he tied the space in the middle too, so I couldn't try to move them closer either. It's very uncomfortable, and my shoulder throbs harshly. Involuntary whimpers escape my lips. The men find that funny.

Then the knee on my back disappears, Crazy keeps his hold on my head, and I feel hands reappear on my legs, tying just above the bend of my knees and then my ankles too. I can't stop focusing on how tight the bonds are.

Once Vicious finishes, Crazy lets go of my head, and grasps me from under my arms, lifting me back up and positioning me back on my knees like a kid playing with a Barbie doll. I let out a long breath of resignation. My hair is now a mess on top of my head and hanging in my face, reminding me of the bed head Sebastian says is so cute on me.

Hardhead comes back upstairs with a tote bag in hand. He must've gone down there to gather the stuff for whatever he wanted to try. The fact that it was something he wanted to try out scared me more, because I had no idea what it could possibly be.

He closed the basement door and walked a few steps toward another door about three feet down the wall. He opens it up and reveals something that makes my heart drop.

It's a cage.

A metal wired dog cage, only big enough to fit a medium-sized dog. It's rectangular, and the roof is short, way too cramped for a human.

I start freaking out, tugging against the ropes and jerking my body around, struggling futilely to get away.

"No, wait!" I cry as Hardhead starts walking toward me. I struggle more, tears falling down my face, trying to tilt backward but Vicious and Crazy hold me down in my place.

"This is what happens when you fuck up," Vicious says evilly, and I look around the room desperately, like there's anything I can do. The men are amused, and joking amongst each other, clinking beers and watching the scene unfold. I look to Lucas, and he's crying too; silent tears, pooling from his brown eyes. They're filled with so much guilt.

"I'll do i-" He starts to say, but when I realize what he's doing I cut him off.

"It's fine Lucas!" I shout panicked and wide-eyed. That's one thing I'm not going back on; I don't want him to get hurt.

When I speak Vicious violently backhands me, so hard that my head snaps to the side and I sob out.

"Shut up." He growls, then he tightly grips my jaw and straightens my face out so I'm looking forward at Hardhead instead of at Lucas, holding me there.

Hardhead comes toward us, dumping the contents of the bag onto the floor. It's a random assortment of things and I don't like any of them. Among those things is a muzzle- a fucking muzzle. My heart just pounds harder and harder, the tears just fall faster.

Hardhead crouches in front of me, right up close into my space. He reaches behind my neck and grabs hold of the collar. He unclasps the back piece and I almost feel a breath of relief coming until he pulls it tighter.

"This is an extra punishment for escaping," he says pulling it tighter and fumbling with it until he fastened it closed, "I'd say about two more notches is good, for now."

I feel my breath escape me, it becomes even more of a chore to breathe in-- it's miserable. I hate the feeling of being manhandled like this, having to let them touch me, feeling so helpless... no control.

I just want Sebastian to hold me and tell me it will all be okay.

Hardhead picks up a bag of cotton balls from the pile on the floor and he stuffs a few of them deep into my left ear. I try to pull away but Viscious just tightens his hold and corrects me the way they want me. The sound in the room distorts, everything is muffled on one side. He pushes the cotton in as much as possible, then places some sort of earbud on top that wraps around the base of my ear and fastens it so it won't fall out. My fighting does nothing to stop them mirroring this on my other ear.

I can barely hear anything after that-- only very slight chatter, but I can't make out what any of it means. A hand touches my cheek from behind me, and I don't even hear it coming. I jump and turn to see Crazy laughing. I don't hear that either, which is like a blessing and a curse at the same time. Vicious lets go of me when I turn.

On my way looking around the room Lucas catches my eye again. Chip is next to him this time, pulling him close to his side, like in a hug, but it's obviously not in a comforting way. Lucas is sort of shrunken into himself, but when he notices me looking he puts his fist to his chest and rubs it in a circular motion.

He's signing 'I'm sorry.'

I shake my head at him.

It's not his fault... and it's not mine either.

I look back at the closet. The cage feels like it's looming over me--- it terrifies me.

My vision goes black, and at first, I think I've passed out, but that's obviously not the case because I'm clearly still conscious. Then I realize that I've been blindfolded when I fell the knot tighten at the back of my head, hair pulling into it painfully. I flinch when they touch my face to adjust it.

"No, please..." I start to beg, "I'm sssorry, I'm so-rry-- p-please." My pleading is interrupted by sobs and hiccups. I can hardly even hear myself speaking, I mainly just feel the words rumble and vibrate in my chest as I speak them, and I don't like that feeling by itself.

I gasp for breath, facing wherever I think Hardhead is standing and continue again.

"Please I-" I was cut off by something being pushed into my mouth. I recoiled backwards instinctively, being stopped by someone standing behind me. What I now realize is a bit is shoved further in and I'm forced to bite down as my mouth is enveloped in leather and the leather straps pull taut against my skin so tight I feel like they're cutting in.

The muzzle...

Nothing happens for a few seconds. I feel a slight movement, then hands on my legs, and hands on my sides. One of the fingers hits the burn by my ribs and I let out a muffled whine, feeling the floor disappear from beneath me. I try to struggle again, fighting against them as hard as I can, though it's useless, and I quickly have to give up because the tight collar, the bit in my mouth and the leather residing over it leave me breathless. I suck in air from my uncovered nose desperately, having to focus on it alone because of how hard it is.

I'm not even claustrophobic, but the thought of being stuffed in that cage, in the closet, alone... scares me so much. It's even worse because I'm being deprived of nearly all of my senses.

Then I'm being set down and bent forward, pulled around and shoved until I feel the cold metal of the cage against my legs. They have me sitting on my knees again, bent so that I fit under the short roof. I can feel the wires against the skin on my exposed back and the back of my head as well.

I was thinking it couldn't get any worse when my head gets pulled downward harshly by the collar. I get surprised and jerk up reflexively only for someone to grab me by the hair and push me back down lower. I feel hands fumbling at the front of the collar and occasionally a bit of rope touching against different parts of my neck for a minute before they and the hand in my hair go away. I try to lift my head back up but I can't- it's held in place. They must have tied a rope from the collar loop to the bottom of the cage.

I realize they still aren't finished when my tied wrists are pulled up next. They get tied to the part of the cage where the roof meets the side. My hands are flush against it and some of my fingers are forced to stick out. The same thing happens to the rope on my elbows to the roof of the cage, making my arms nearly form a ninety-degree angle.

I'm left still and locked into the stressful position, then there's a slight vibration, followed by a larger one, then... nothing.

It must've been them closing the doors- shutting me off from everything completely, except for the cold metal beneath me and the throbbing, pulsing, pain. I can't decide if this is better or worse than what was originally planned for me today.

I mean it should be better, right?

There's no warm breath over my shoulder and on the nape of my neck, no hands trailing over my body, no breathy groans in my ears, no chapped lips over my skin and my mouth, no hands pulling my hair, nobody forcing themself onto me...

There's just nothing.

So why is my heart still racing?

Why does it feel like the walls are closing in?

I don't know. I don't know why I want to stay in and leave at the same time- why I can't decide even though the options seem easy.

I feel like it's only been a minute or so when my arms start to ache and my shoulder develops a raw stabbing pain, not unlike the way it felt when it was originally injured. I attempt to shift my position to relieve the ache, which is where I come into even more of a problem.

If I lean forward and bring my head low, which id hoped would allow my arms to move down more, it pulls on my shoulders. The rope securing my arms to the top of the cage makes sure my arms can't move when the rest of my body does, and therefore threatens to pull my shoulders out of their sockets, which especially doesn't bode well on the one that already has been.

When I try to do the opposite and lean my head backward, a similar problem with my arms arises, but to go along with it, they've somehow tied the collar so that it pulls tighter when I pull my head away from the floor, completely cutting off my airway. It feels just like when Hardhead was squeezing his hand around my throat.

If I return to the middle like I originally was, I realize that I have to give my effort to keep my head in the right position, or risk losing my arms... or suffocating.

I decide that I definitely want out.

Seemingly on cue, the pain of everything else seems to slam into me full force, like all the adrenaline of the situation has fully crashed. If I have to hold this position... then I don't know how long I can last... and I don't know how long they're going to keep me in here.

Tears soak through the cloth blindfold and I can't manage to get my sobbing under control, which in turn spirals away the focus I had kept on my breathing. I start to panic, my chest tightening. I'm going to die.

Holy shit. I'm going to die.

I have a hard time doing it, but I scream, as loud as I can through the muzzle. I can't even tell if I made any noticeable noise or not, I can only feel the rumble in my chest, hear my own racing heartbeat. I have to wait a second before I do it again, jerking my body as much as I can -which isn't very much- and squeezing my eyes shut tight. My mouth feels dry because of the bit pushing on my tongue, the pain in my throat comes back full force. My attempts to move make the new cuts on my knees hurt. Everything hurts.

I can't fucking breathe.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

In my moment of total desperation I think about it- Sebastian- think about him, his soothing voice.

"Breathe baby, breathe," I can hear him say, "Just focus on me Cuci, in... and out."

I remember how he helps me through a panic attack, ''I'll do it with you, just copy me,' and I can almost see him in front of me, appearing in the darkness, taking deep breaths in for me to mimic.

And I do.

I suck in a large breath through my nose, following the fake Sebastian that I'm so inclined to think is real. I'm staring into his blue eyes, and he's staring back into mine. He raises his hand, and lightly places it on my cheek, mostly resting over the tight leather, and he whispers to me, but I don't know what he's saying, all I hear is the noise. I want to lean into his touch, but I cant-- I want him to hug me tight, and kiss me, but I can't ask him to either. He looks so real- but he's not... right?

I can't tell, but it doesn't matter, I just match his breaths until they're back under control- the tint bit of control I have over them. He whispers more to me, leans forward and gives me the lightest kiss on the forehead, then disappears, a puff of smoke into the air, like it was blown from Hardheads very own cigarette.

I wanted to laugh, a bitter laugh... it can't have been that long yet, and I'm already losing it. But obviously, I couldn't. I can't do anything.

I don't know how long later it was when my tears had dried up, the hallucinations had been plaguing me for so long. I could feel cold hands on my sides, my hips, feeling over my shivering body, grabbing at the shorts, and I couldn't tell if they were real, but I couldn't even manage to care, because I had to focus on breathing and keeping my head up.

I'm so fucking tired. My throat is dry-- it burns, I can't feel my arms, my legs sting, my wrists and ankles never had time to recover from yesterday, the direction of me trying to move rubs against my burns, everything sore, my feet are numb from sitting on my knees for so long, I'm seeing random shapes and hearing random things. I'm losing my mind.

I just want to lay my head down, close my eyes, relax, sleep.

Please let me sleep.

It gets to a point where my eyes drift closed, and it gets harder and harder to open them back up each time. So hard I eventually resort to leaning forward slightly every time I start to drift asleep so it relights the pain in my shoulders and forces me to stay awake. I just have to remind myself; if I fall asleep ill pull my shoulders out.

I'm exhausted. My brain is fuzzy. I don't know how long I've been in here in this stress position. I don't know how much longer I have to hold it, but I hope it'll be over soon.

If they let me out ill be good, I'll be so good for them. No mistakes...

So good...

#whump #whump writing #noncon tw #tw #whumpee #multiple whumpers

5 notes · View notes

taelme · 5 years

Text

Spiderman!Eric

genre: spiderman!au, friends-to-lovers!au (fluff)

pairing/s: Eric / Fem reader (ft Stray Kids Felix)

word count: 5k+

tw: mild violence like fighting yall know the drill hes spiderman

Felix 12:33am - call me - 12:33am - srsly call me now i gotta show u smth -

You picked up the (incessantly) ringing device, wondering who it was yet already knowing who it was going to be.

Seeing Felix's caller id show up on your phone screen, you sighed, swiping the call to answer it anyway, putting it at a rather ugly angle on your pillow since it was Felix, after all.

"Why are you video calling, did you press the wrong button again?" you murmured, lazily leaning on your pillow as you talked. Felix looked as if he was in some sort of living room, and that framed geodude puzzle hanging on the wall behind him was beginning to look just too familiar.

Almost as if hearing your thought process, the blonde haired boy turned his head, shouting a loud, "Eric! Come here, dude!" Making you shoot up quickly, a hand flying to your head from the throb you got after getting up too fast.

Angling your phone so you looked a little more presentable, your breath hitched when you saw Eric come into your view, with a small towel draped over his head.

Eric raised his eyebrows at Felix in confusion before spotting you on the phone, his mouth dropping open before closing quickly, smiling shyly at you with a wave.

"Hi," his voice came out soft, "sorry to disturb you so late in the night, you seem like you were about to sleep."

Even though the three of you knew it was the truth, you replied dismissively anyway, "Oh, no it's fine, really. I wasn't asleep yet anyway." You didn't miss the knowing look Felix gave you, making you shrug your shoulders while Eric got comfortable in his seat next to Felix. His sharp eyes rounding when he looked back at the screen, holding the edges of the towel draped over his head with a certain hint of excitement in his expression.

"Are you ready for this? probably not but we're gonna show you anyway, okay, Eric, one, two....three!" Felix practically tore the towel off of Eric's head, revealing a bright blue head of hair, making your eyes widen, Felix giving the phone to Eric when the blue haired boy held his hand out expectantly after seeing your reaction.

"That's.....bright."

"Do you...." Eric's gaze travelled elsewhere (anywhere but at you, really) as his fingers smoothed down the parts of his hair that got ruffled in the process of Felix's dramatic reveal. "Do you uh...you know, like it?" he asked, flicking and pulling at his hair in an attempt to make it more presentable, thought you felt it was fine.

"I do! yeah! i mean, it looks great!" you were quick to reassure him, enjoying the smile that appeared on his face, relieved almost.

"What made you wanna do that suddenly?" Eric was about to reply when Felix cut in quickly, his face appearing on the screen and covering anything else visible.

"For the fun of it, you know?" Felix shrugged, "Me and my friends used to do stuff like this all the time in Australia," you rolled your eyes.

"So you just convinced Eric to bleach and dye his hair for fun?"

Eric's voice sounded behind Felix, "I thought maybe it was time to try something different for a change, or something," Felix nodded vigorously, smiling widely.

"That's cool," you heard a commotion on the other side of the phone, though you kept talking anyway, figuring it was a normal occurrence for them, "it really looks great, by the way-"

"Okay that's enough, Y/N. Time to go to sleep, bye!" Felix hung up the call before you could say goodbye. Sighing, you set your phone back down on the table, staring at the ceiling for a while trying to figure out why you were so affected by Eric just having different hair when your phone rang with a notification alarm.

Picking it up, you saw Eric had sent you a photo, opening it to see a picture that he'd taken of himself with a snorlax plushie, caption being 'we kind of look the same now, right?'

You laughed, replying him quickly to say he looked absolutely the same, though not surprised at the 'goodnight' text you'd received shortly after.

Eric was nice to you, and everyone else, you supposed.

===

"Hey dude, that's not very nice," Eric called in a voice that sounded genuinely upset at what was unfolding in the alley beneath him. Despite his lack of combat training (unless you counted fake ‘mma’ matches with Felix as training), as well as the fact that the man was probably twice Eric's size, Eric knew that that couldn't matter right now because whoever that could try to mug an old lady, was a dick. (and should be stopped, of course)

Shooting a web to the opposite apartment building, Eric swung down, landing smoothly in front of the mugger and using his webs to trap him against the wall, leaving him about half a minute to get this old lady whatever she needed.

If Eric was expecting any thanks, he should have thought again because this old lady was practically hysterical that some red and blue spider looking thing had just rescued her from being mugged.

"Ma'am please calm down, it’s okay,” Eric pleaded in his 'Spiderman' voice, only successfully doing so when he pushed up his mask enough to reveal his mouth.

"See? i'm a human! i'm a human boy! Nothing to worry about Ma'am,” Eric waved his hands as reassuringly as he could, calling the police to inform them of the mugger before shooting a few more webs on him as a precaution before bringing the old lady out into the town area. “Please be safe....and try not to walk through alleys next time!”

Swinging himself back onto the roof where he'd tossed his backpack previously, Eric checked the time on his phone, 7:20am, almost time for school. If he left now, he could probably still make it back by 7:30. Thank God he didn't listen to Felix when he tried to convince him not to bring his school uniform to his trips.

Eric was practically sprinting into the school, panting and clothes wrinkled from being wadded up in his backpack for so long, trying his best to slip into the class unnoticed to his desk was next to yours.

Twirling your pen as you tried to remain inconspicuous so the teacher wouldn't notice that Eric had jut arrived, he'd made that a little harder when he'd kneed the table in his hurry to sit down, thankfully going unnoticed by the teacher.

"You're early," you smirked, hearing him grunt in reply, chest still heaving from his trip here. (Eric would have figured that being Spiderman meant he wouldn't get winded from stairs so easily).

Tugging the sleeves of his shirt down, hooking a finger at his collar to pull it away from his neck and fanning himself with his other hand, the blue haired boy shrugged with a breathy laugh, "Sure am.” He told you, sticking his tongue out at you before turning his attention back to the teacher.

You scribbled down notes lazily, trying not to get distracted by the way Eric looked so different with this new hair, even if half of it was hidden under a baseball cap. Getting bored after a while, you shifted your attention to the screen, feeling yourself slowly start to let your vision blur, almost giving into sleep when you felt someone nudge your elbow, turning to see Eric was trying to pass you a small yellow post-it note.

Taking the note and pasting it onto your notebook, it read: -which one are you gonna sign up for?-

Turning your head to face Eric, you nudged him, seeing him jump slightly in his seat before a small huff of laughter left his lips. “Hmm?” his eyebrows raised, pen halting its movements against his paper.

“Sign up for what?”

There was a moment of silence where Eric looked as though you’d just told him his dog died before he leaned his head forward abruptly, eyebrows furrowing in confusion and mouth gaping slightly, “Sign up for what?” he asked you.

Rolling your eyes yet not being able to help the smile from your face, you shoved the - now crumpled - note into his hand. “This! Weren’t you the one that asked me?” you whisper-shouted, a hand moving to grip at your hair in mock frustration.

Eric’s expression softened, mouth forming an ‘o’ shape in realization, “Oh, right. Yeah, which internship position are you gonna sign up for?” he pointed to the board at the front of the class, where the teacher had written down various internship positions at different companies.

“What’s this for?” you glanced at Eric’s notebook to see if he’d written anything useful about it, seeing his small neat handwriting of

‘different day, different company take different day -’

Eric was quick to shield his notebook from you, choosing to distract you by pointing his pen to the direction of the board while he tried to make himself look less flustered at the fact that you could have just seen how he’d written that he wanted to take a different attachment day from you so it would be easier to have lunch with you.

“You see, we’re supposed to choose one,” he explained, closing his notebook and shoving it into his bag while you were looking at the board. “I think i’m gonna choose Monday’s,” he started slowly, “You know, since i like that, and you don’t...”

Your gaze went to the Monday slot on the board, seeing that it was something to do with sports and you made a face of disgust, shaking your head.

“You’re right, i don’t like that. I was thinking of maybe Wednesday?” you pointed at the area on the board to direct his attention there, seeing him nod, a soft smile threatening to appear.

“Great then, we’ll still have lunch breaks to spend together!”

“You think Felix will join us?” you bypassed his implication, making him press his lips together in a tight line.

“Eh, up to him, he’s welcome to whenever he wants,” Eric shrugged, not averse to the idea but not completely for it either. Felix was his best friend but...sometimes he was a little too obvious with the whole spider thing.

"Nice," you smiled to yourself, scribbling down quickly onto your notebook about the details of your internship, the thought of work reminding you of Eric's part-time job.

"Right, are you working today?"

Eric had almost forgotten that he had told you about his 'part-time job', if you counted roaming around the streets of your neighbourhood looking for crime to stop dressed in a body suit as a part-time job.

"I work everyday, the city never sleeps Y/N," he sighed dramatically, shaking his head at his textbook wistfully.

"What are you even talking about you work at a pet shop, i'm pretty sure that part of the city does sleep." Eric waved you off dismissively, not being able to help the tiny giggle that slipped from his mouth, his hands coming up to his hair in embarrassment but only coming in contact with the material of his cap, forgetting he was even wearing it.

"Also, are you forgetting something?"

Eric furrowed his eyebrows, tapping his pen on his notebook, trying to figure out what exactly it was he was forgetting. Was it your birthday? no, it can't be, Eric remembered there was still months to go before that. Maybe it's movie night again? Eric frowned, no, we had that yesterday.

"I give up," the blue-haired boy finally slumped his shoulders, dropping his pen onto the table and holding his hands out to you in a begging gesture. "What was it that i forgot this time?" he pouted, trying his best to ease his way out of trouble if you were angry at him.

Pushing the flyaway strands of your hair away from your face haphazardly as you turned to him, you mustered a look of disgust, "You were supposed to help me write my article about Spiderman for the newspaper club!" you frowned, hands finding their way to your hips. A look of realization flashed over Eric's features, making you sigh.

"I knew you'd forget, you're always busy with baseball or your job or playing games with Felix, it's a wonder you even agreed to help me with that paper in the first place." you sighed.

"Look, i'm really sorry it just slipped my mind...let me make it up to you?" he pleaded, earning a dirty look from you.

"Lunch is on you," you decided.

Eric's expression relaxed visibly, glad that that was what you'd decided on as a compensation, nodding his head at you with a smile, "Deal."

===

"And you're sure you don't need me to walk you back?" Felix asked, though you knew both him and his friend Changbin were hoping you would say no so they could head over to the computer cafe to play games.

You shot them a look, eyes narrowing at them as you gripped your laptop tighter in your arm, shooting Felix a tight-lipped smile.

"It's fine, if anything i'll just call Eric," Felix opened and closed his mouth quickly as if stopping himself from saying something, deciding on nodding firmly at you, waving goodbye to let you leave. Eric hadn't told you where the pet-shop was but you figured it didn't matter anyway since you never visited him there, but little did you know tonight you wouldn't have to.

"Hey! Stop!" You heard the clanging of bins and the heavy thudding of running footsteps, looking around to find the source of the sound when you saw someone running past you, knocking into you slightly but the impact causing them to lose their balance and stumble onto the floor. You figured he wasn't that innocent with the cds that had spilled out from his jacket when he fell. So you did what you figured anyone would've done in this situation, you stepped on his chest.

You heard a gust of wind before a light thud in front of where you and the man were, your breath getting caught in your throat when you realized that Spiderman was in front of you.

"I told you not to run, you can get all these cds at a sale!" the masked boy had waved his hands exasperatedly, squatting down and looking up at you when he'd seen that the man - or boy, he looked like he couldn't be much older than you -was still being held down by your leg. In your shock you had pressed your leg harder onto the boy, making him let out a pained groan which fell on your deaf ears.

"Uh..." Spiderman cleared his throat, and your eyes widened expectantly, not realizing your foot was still on the boy's chest until Spiderman gestured a covered finger towards it.

"Oh! sorry, i just you know, thought it would help keep him down.." you blurted, removing your leg quickly and taking a step back from the boy. Spiderman cleared his throat, mustering a deeper, more authoritative voice, or his 'Spiderman voice' as Felix liked to call it.

"Thanks for helping me stop this guy, i really owe you one." Spiderman told you, making you flush, shaking your head at him out of courtesy.

"No problem....Spiderman?" Said boy let out a small giggle, sounding oddly familiar to you but you were too busy observing him clear away the cds and let the boy go to say anything.

"Don't do it again or i'm telling your mom!" you frowned in confusion as you watched the boy scramble off the floor and run off.

"His mom?"

"His mom's the owner of the bakery across the street from the cd shop, she'd kill him if she knew he was doing this." Spiderman stood up, dusting the knees of his suit before turning to you, and you were practically itching to remove his mask.

"So.....kind citizen, how may i repay you?" he said, sounding an awful lot like he was in a period drama, making you laugh, though you couldn't say you had no idea what you wanted him to do either.

He spent a solid minute shifting his weight from leg to leg while waiting for your answer. "What's your name?"

"E-" Spiderman stopped himself, lengthening the vowel so he sounded like he meant to scold you instead. "Foul play, pretty citizen," Eric mentally slapped himself for being so gullible, resisting the urge to scream when you tilted your head at him, not sure why the sudden confidence was taking over you in front of the masked superhero.

"Pretty?" Spiderman was thankful for the mask hiding his face because he was sure he'd never felt so hot underneath the mask.

"Not a valid question, next," he blurted quickly, making you laugh.

"It's okay, Spiderman. You probably don’t have time to answer my questions anyway,” this struck a cord with Eric, feeling as though you were talking to him instead of just talking to Spiderman, rushing to your side and waving his hands in dismissal, “No, noo! I do have time! I’m on duty right now, i’m making sure you get home safely!” he assured you, a skeptical expression making its way onto your face.

“On duty, huh?” you repeated, “Say, Spiderman, you couldn’t possibly explain to me why you became Spiderman in the first place, could you?” you asked, seeing his hand go up to his head, unconsciously starting to walk together with you in the direction back to your place.

“You know, i didn’t know exactly, either. I just thought...it’d be nice to try to make a difference in this town, even if it was just a small difference.”

“I think you’re pretty cool,” you spoke, your gaze still directed forward, looking at the glow of the buildings cast from streetlamps, “What you do, i mean,” you corrected.

“You do?” He replied a little too quickly, clearing his throat before shrugging, “I mean, yeah, it’s just...what it is.”

“You don’t mind, right?” you asked, “Me asking you all these questions. I mean, i heard from my friend Eric that you’re a pretty low-key guy so i was kind of shocked you were actually going along with my questions,” you adjusted your grip on the things you were carrying, shoulders starting to feel sore from carrying them for so long.

“Here, lemme get that for you.” Spiderman reached his hand over to try to take your things, but you were quick to refuse, “There’s really no need for that, i’m fine-“

“I’m only helping a kind citizen after a long day,” he shrugged, and when he put it that way, oh, how tempting it was. So you did let him carry your things, besides, no one would know. Especially not Eric, oh Eric would tease you for days if he found out Spiderman carried your laptop and books home for you.

“Are you embarrassed?” Spiderman asked you, and because of how familiar he felt, his Spiderman voice was gone, and strangely, you didn’t even notice. You shook your head vigorously, letting your hair cover your face before finally squeaking out a, “Okay, maybe a little bit.”

You heard Spiderman let out a small huff of laughter, “That’s cute.”

Your head snapped around quickly so you could glare at him, turning onto the street of your house, “Is it part of your job description to flirt with kind citizens?”

He shrugged, and Eric wasn’t sure where he’d gained this new-found confidence around you but he was strangely thankful for it, “Maybe only the ‘you’ kind of kind citizens?” he laughed, realizing you had reached your house already.

“My friend Eric’s gonna be stoked if i tell him i met you.” you smiled, taking your things back from Spiderman, seeing him step back and nod at you. “Sure is,” he told you.

You couldn’t help but find what he said similar to what Eric usually says to you, not being able to help yourself with your next statement.

“You know...you kind of remind me of him,” you adjusted your bag strap on your shoulders, scrutinizing his mask before shaking your head, “Nevermind, pretend i never said anything. Goodnight, Spiderman,” you smiled, waving at him.

Whipping your phone out, you went to yours and Eric’s chat

10:43pm -you would not BELIEVE who i just saw-

===

Eric wasn't sure what kind of stupid had posessed him to say he'd enjoy hearing about your encounter with Spiderman, but he'd decided after the 3rd time of hearing the same story repeated to different people that he really hated it. I mean, it wasn't as if Eric wasn't Spiderman, it was just hearing you say over and over again that Spiderman was so 'cute!' and 'kind!' and 'had a great butt!' was just starting to get on Eric's nerves, knowing you would never describe him that way.

You'd found Eric's reaction to your Spiderman story rather unusual, since you was usually so used to Eric being excited to tell you about Spiderman and what he 'researched' about him. But you figured maybe he was just tired of hearing the same story. Not that you cared but still.

You were currently seated at the bistro that you, Felix and Eric frequented, spread out across the cushions of your usual booth, your legs spread out in front of you while Felix chose to squeeze with Eric.

Felix's phone had buzzed, and the boy's eyes lit up upon reading the message. "You guys going for the halloween party? One of my friends just sent me the details."

"Halloween party? Like the one we went to last year?" you leaned forward in an attempt to read from Felix's phone.

"The one i went dressed as a princess for?" Eric's eyes widened and you laughed at the memory.

"Yep," Felix nodded, "Its being thrown by the same person, so you guys are invited too."

"Oh my god, we should coordinate our outfits this year too!" Felix cheered, earning a mock look of disgust from you, but nodding nonetheless.

"Wait, maybe not. Cause i was thinking about going as Spiderman," Felix continued.

You let out a satisfied sound at Felix's mention of Spiderman. "I'm telling you, Felix, there's something about Spiderman that's just so.....so-it gets me, you know what i mean?" you spoke, gaze directed at the tv screen in the bistro.

Felix exchanged a knowing look with Eric, whose eyes widened and slurped his drink hurriedly. You were waiting for Felix reply when Eric had handed you his powerbank, asking if you could help him put it in his bag, only realizing a little too late that he'd forgotten to specify which pocket of his bag. And it wasn't as if he could risk having you see his crumpled up Spiderman suit in there.

Bending down and unzipping the back pocket of his bag, you shuffled around for his pouch before catching a flash of red and blue latex at the bottom of the bag, your hand withdrawing from the material when you realized the implications of it, just as you heard Eric add in a, "Front pocket, please."

As if the timing couldn't be any better, you heard Felix chime in with what he thought about Spiderman.

"I mean, when you think about it, i'd say he's pretty similar with Er- ouch!" Felix glared at Eric, mouthing for him to trust him before you sat up, furrowing your eyebrows at Felix, "Nothing, just hit the table adjusting my legs," he told you casually.

"Anyway as i was saying, i think he's pretty similar to Eric," you frowned, the new knowledge of what was in Eric's bag making you think of the incident happening with Eric in Spiderman's place, the idea threatening to make your face heat up.

"Oh my God, no no, don't make it weird, shut up, Felix," you dismissed the thought quickly, not wanting Eric to feel uncomfortable as well, since after all, you did say Spiderman had a cute butt.

Eric looked at you with a confused expression, before grinning quickly and laughing along with you. "Yeah....shut up, Felix," Eric looked down into his smoothie, hoping the shadow would hide his blush.

"You guys suck, i'm speaking some truth here, you know?" Felix huffed, sinking further into his seat, Eric simply choosing to shrug as a reply.

"Whatever, Felix. Just text me the details of the party, i'm gonna head back to my office now. Lunch break's almost over," you told them, Eric nodding in reply, while Felix gave you a wave, shooing you away.

Felix turned to his friend once you'd left, nudging the boy on the shoulder. Eric slumped onto the cushion of the booth, groaning loudly, attracting attention from some of the diners.

"I'm screwed. She's gonna fall for Spiderman and then they're gonna get married and then she's gonna see me as her stupid friend for the rest of her life," Eric whined, making Felix frown in confusion, an amused lilt to his tone when he replied.

"Bro, i think you're forgetting a really important detail..." Eric's head whipped around so he could glare at Felix for interrupting his crisis.

"What now, Felix?"

"You are Spiderman, dude!" Eric's mouth formed an 'o' shape in realization, eyebrows raising as he straightened up in his seat, taking a long sip from his smoothie.

"Right, forgot." Eric stared pensively at Felix, "But how am i supposed to reveal that to her? What kind of elaborate plan can i possibly make?" Eric pouted, earning a grin from Felix.

Shrugging, the blonde haired boy spoke, twirling the un-used straw between his fingers, "Who knows, maybe it'll be easier than you think."

Which was worse, to have shown up at the halloween party with Felix dressed as Spiderman, or the fact that Eric was nowhere to be seen, you couldn't decide. You'd been calling Eric multiple times that night, but a sudden bank robbery had taken Eric from you that night.

"Will you at least help me bring my costume?" he had blurted hurriedly to Felix, who was already dressed in his Spiderman costume. Nodding to appease Eric, Felix waved his hands in dismissal.

"Dude, really, don't worry about it, i got you covered. Just go do what you have to do," Eric had nodded, already rushing to leave.

"And remember to turn off your phone!"

"Already did!" Eric called back.

He didn't.

Now Eric was fighting a robber with Ariana Grande's voice singing ‘One Last Time’ blasting out of his pocket.

Holding the robber off with a kick, the burly man stumbling back slightly, Eric saw the caller id as your name.

Picking up the phone quickly, trying to divert the robber's attention by jumping from place to place to tire him out. "Eric, where are you? You said you'd be here an hour ago!" you sounded more than disappointed, making Eric let out a small groan.

"I'm sorry! Really, just-something came up, and i needed to," he let out a small grunt when he'd landed on the floor a little ungracefully, "settle it. I swear, i'll be there soon."

"The party's getting boring without you, if you're not there in 30 minutes i'm leaving!" you announced, hanging up quickly. Eric whined loudly, dodging a punch from the robber as he put his phone back.

"Look man, I really don't have time for this right now," Eric threw a few webs around the man to stop him from moving, removing the mask from the man's face. "Remember to smile for your mug shot!" he laughed, dialing the police before leaving quickly, shooting webs and swinging himself from apartment building to apartment building, desperately trying to get to the party before you left.

Calling Felix was no use, the boy was already lost in the party, probably even forgetting he had a phone with how much fun he was having. It was only when Eric saw Felix over at the ping pong table did he manage to get his attention.

The blonde boy turned around, "Oh what, same costume? Not cool, man," Felix groaned, earning an eyeroll from Eric that he couldn't see anyway. "Felix, its me," Eric told him.

Felix stared blankly at the suit-clad boy before realization struck him, "Oh!" he shouted, immediately taking Eric aside into the nearest room he could find, ripping off Eric's mask and letting out a loud gasp when he saw the bruise on Eric's jaw.

"That looks rough, what happened?"

"No time for that right now, Felix, where's Y/N?" Eric made as if to go find you but was stopped by Felix's arms on his shoulders. "Woah, man, no way i'm letting you go around with this bruise on your face."

"It's fine, I'll just wear my mask."

Felix gave him an uncertain look, looking fairly hesitant but shaking his head disapprovingly, "Last i checked she was in the kitchen? But i'd suggest you avoid the crowd now, they're gonna lose their shit when they realize Spiderman is here."

Eric groaned, knowing Felix was right, which was why Felix didn't have a mask on. "Okay, i'll just go wait on the rooftop. Just give me a text when you find her."

Eric swung himself onto the roof with ease after leaving the building briefly. Putting on his mask, he lay down on the floor of the roof, starting to feel tired from fighting.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he saw that you'd sent him more texts asking where he was.

In his fatigued haze, he didn't bother thinking when he'd replied you,

9:50pm -im at the rooftop-

Putting his phone aside, Eric looked at the sky through the muffled view he got through his mask, too tired to process the sound of the rooftop doors opening until he heard your voice.

"Felix? What the hell are you doing here? Eric told me i could find him here and when i get here he's not here again," you stomped your foot weakly, sitting down next to what you assumed was Felix's lying form.

"Stupid Eric," you huffed, "You even told me he was definitely gonna be here! All i wanted was a nice night with stupid cute Eric and have a good time but it's just not going how i wanted it to go."

"How did you want it to go then?" Eric finally spoke, making your breath get caught in your throat when you realized the person next to you really wasn't Felix.

"Er-" you stopped yourself, not sure if you wanted to let him know you knew just yet. Though at this point, Eric was too tired to bother about that.

"Spiderman?" Eric huffed at the name.

"That's me, good ol' friendly neighbourhood Spiderman," he shrugged, sitting up and reaching a hand to fiddle with the material covering his calf.

"I'm sure whoever this Eric person is, he probably didn't mean to leave you here without a reason, you know?"

You stared at him in disbelief, narrowing your eyes at him. "Uh-huh," you crossed your arms over your chest, "Just kinda sucks when you have the boy you like right in front of you still lying to your face," you shrugged.

"What?" Eric tilted his head in confusion, caught off guard when you reached a hand over to yank his mask off of his head.

"That's better," you smiled, enjoying the shocked look on Eric's face, his now slightly faded blue hair sticking up in various places because of the mask.

"How are you not shocked?" Eric spoke, hands waving around frantically, expecting a much more extreme reaction from you than what he had gotten.

"To be honest with you, I knew since that day at the bistro when i was putting your stuff back into your bag. Saw your suit," you explained, seeing him lie back down, his hands covering his face.

"God, i'm really stupid, aren't i?" Eric removed his hands, revealing his giddy smile to you. "To save your last bit of pride, i'm not answering that," you smiled back.

"Correct me if i'm wrong," Eric began, his gaze on the mask you fiddled with in your hands. "You know, sometimes it's hard to hear under the mask, but....did i hear you refer to me as the boy you like?"

"Nope," you said, face completely serious as you watched Eric's expression fall, "Oh,"

"Eric, i'm kidding. I totally did." Eric's hand moved to cover the lower half of his face, blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"Good, cause you're the girl i like too," he told you casually. Making your mouth gape open in shock.

"Is it just me or does your confidence just become crazy whenever you put on this suit?" you told him with a laugh.

"Maybe," he shrugged, "you know, Spiderman's a real lady killer." You laughed, shaking your head at him. "Oh, i'm sure."

You were sat in-between the open space of his legs, with himself still lying on the ground, "He's got all sorts of tricks, it'd be hard to resist him at all, not my words, his," you scoffed. Eric was having fun with this, finally feeling fully comfortable and at ease after the unnecessary worrying about what you would think.

"Care to demonstrate said tricks?" Eric placed a hand on his chin thoughtfully, pretending to consider your challenge, his ‘Spiderman' confidence taking over him as he shot a web to the wall facing him, "gladly," he told you. Using the wall as leverage, he lifted himself to sitting position and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

Pulling away and standing up quickly as if nothing had happened, he shot you a smile as he held his hand out to help you up.

"Real lady killer, isn't he?"

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kindofcashton · 4 years

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𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕 • chapter 2 (Calum Hood AU)

THE REST OF dinner was much more enjoyable once Calum left. Luke, Michael, and Ashton had no problem making me feel at home, and soon I was laughing and free from the stress of the day.

From what I'd gathered, Luke and Michael about a year younger than Ashton. They'd all finished high school and decided against university, much to their parents' pleasure. Ashton however had landed a pretty lucrative gig at an advertising firm, even without a degree, and he said that it was the kind of job good enough to support him as long as he needed. Luke and Michael had odd jobs here and there, preferring the care-free bachelor life to a scheduled, overworked routine. I envied their easy-going attitudes; if only I could afford to live as freely as they did.

"We're not total bums though," Luke defended himself, blue eyes smiling. The five us were sipping beers around the table, lights dimmed since it was so late. "Mike is wicked good with video games and is helping this guy with his startup. And I work down at the music shop, but the manager says he's gonna try to hook me up with an internship at a record label."

Michael snorted. "I can not imagine you fetching people coffee. And they'd probably force you take out that lovely lip ring."

Luke rolled his eyes and took a swig of his beer. "You work for a guy with a purple tiger tattoo, of course you can keep your eyebrow piercing."

Ashton waved his hand dramatically, other arm slung over Hannah's shoulder. She'd moved her chair so close to his she was practically on his lap.

"Yeah yeah, you're little startup and you're little internship are cute, but I am working on the next campaign for Fido Feed."

Everyone burst out laughing, and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "What's that?"

Hannah slid her hand down Ashton's cheek lovingly, and said, "It's a dog food brand, and he is single-handedly pioneering their success." Ashton grinned and gave her a kiss.

"Hey, Ash, what happened to the wheat crackers ad? I thought you were killing it with the cracker game." Michael bat his lashes innocently.

Ashton flipped him off and I took a sip of my beer, happy and buzzed. This was the most fun I'd had in a long time, and only hoped it would be like this every day. Leaving university had been a difficult but inevitable decision, and I'd feared I wouldn't be happy for a long time. Anxieties still plagued the back of my mind, but right now I found it easier than ever to ignore them.

"Alright, I don't know about you morons but I'm pretty tired." Michael stood up from the table and motioned to me. "How about I show you you're suite now, madam?"

I smiled and nodded, as Luke reached over to throw away my empty beer for me. His blue eyes were so warm and kind, and I think I was most grateful for his calming presence.

Michael led me up the stairs into a darkened hallway, and I noted four doors upstairs. One was partially open, revealing the bathroom. One at the end of the hall was shut tight, with quiet music reverberating softly from it. I guessed this was Calum's room, and as Michael led to me to his my stomach sank. I'd be right next to Calum, bumping into him as we went downstairs or tried to get to the bathroom.

Great, more opportunities for him to hate me.

The room was fairly small, but not cramped. The bed was big with dark blue sheets, and the gray walls were plastered with posters of all different types. A closet had been cleared out for me, as well as a set of drawers and desk in the corner. It was definitely a nicer place than I thought I'd be staying in.

"I don't know how to thank you," I admitted, still embarrassed at Michael's charity.

He crossed his arms, goofy smile on his face. "You'll figure something out. I like anything with cheese or frosting, so maybe start there?" I laughed, and he gave me an encouraging thumbs up before turning out of the room.

"Night, Scar!" he called, and I closed the door gently behind him.

My bags were all arranged in one corner, and I reminded myself to thank Luke later. Blowing out a sigh, I fell onto the bed. The events of the past couple months truly felt like bricks on my shoulders, and every day was a struggle to get by. The ache in my heart never seemed to subside, even during happy times like tonight. Pulling the blankets over my shivering body, I simply hoped for a good night's sleep to be able to tackle tomorrow.

Unfortunately, my prayers were not answered. I tossed and turned all night long, partly because of the unfamiliar atmosphere and partly because of my never ending anxieties. Pale dawn light was peeking through the curtains when I finally opened my eyes, and I frowned.

Quietly getting up, I checked my reflection in the mirror and yawned. My hair was tousled, the hoodie I wore nearly covering my shorts. I didn't look too great, but I decided it was better for people to see this me early on, seeing as she'd be around a fair amount.

Padding down the stairs, I didn't notice anyone awake. Ashton had stayed the night with Hannah, both of them down in the basement on the futon. Michael was passed out on the living room couch, red hair disheveled.

Suddenly a sound from the kitchen made nearly jump out of my skin. I whirled around to see Calum fishing through the cupboards, clad in only sweatpants. He must have heard my surprised gasp, because he turned to me with a scowl.

"Of course you'd be up this early." He faced away from me as I entered the kitchen, pausing as I gripped the back of a dining chair. His back muscles were taut and tan, his bare shoulders rimmed with shadow in the dim light. His hair was curly and messy, laying just over his eyes.

"You're up this early," I countered innocently, meaning it more as a joke. He gave me a distracted glance.

"Never really went to bed, I guess," he grumbled, moving to set up the coffee maker. His movements were clumsy and confused, and I could tell he had no idea what he was doing.

"Here, let me," I offered softly, striding over. His brown eyes tracked me as I dumped the ground coffee into machine, once again completely unreadable. I worked quietly, my movements automatic as I had done this a million times at college in order to survive late nights and early classes.

"Ashton usually does this," he mumbled, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. I shrugged, flipping the lid down and setting the timer. I turned so I was leaning against the counter, arms folded. Calum backed away from me, choosing now to busy himself in the fridge.

I sighed, but was thankfully saved by Michael waking up over on the couch.

"I really hope that racket was coffee being made," he said, voice thick with sleep.

"Shut up, we weren't that loud," Calum snapped, finding the milk and grabbing some frosted cereal. Soon Luke was awake and joined us in the kitchen, followed shortly by Ashton and Hannah from downstairs. She looked lazy and happy, glowing almost. Luke rolled his eyes and shot me a smile; we all knew why the two of them looked so content.

We all sat at the table, Calum included. He ate his cereal silently, and didn't look up when I poured him a cup of coffee. I took my mug and sat down, letting the warmth of the coffee seep into my cold hands.

"Cream and sugar?" Luke asked, but I shook my head.

"No, this is fine."

"You take it black? Damn, badass." He grinned, and I chuckled. Calum snorted, and everyone turned to look at him.

He reddened at our stares, and said curtly, "What, she's some brave hero for drinking black coffee? Please."

Luke didn't take his comment to heart, his expression amused. "Right, I forgot no one is cool in your eyes. You enjoy vodka straight out of the bottle." Calum met his eyes, and for the first time I saw a spark of humor in the brown orbs. Little flashes of the boys' friendship peeked through sometimes, and I knew despite his rough exterior the guys really loved Calum.

"What are we doing today?" Michael asked, stuffing some toast into his mouth.

"Some of us have serious jobs to go to," Ashton joked, and Hannah giggled as she ran a hand through his curls. I was jealous of how close they were, wishing I had someone like Ashton to support me. He would walk through fire for Hannah, and she for him. Their bond was unlike anything I'd ever seen let alone experienced, and I wondered if I'd ever be lucky enough to discover that feeling.

"Ha-ha," Michael said dryly. "Reggie doesn't need me today since we're waiting for a streaming service to get back to us, so I'm free."

Luke nodded. "Same here, the Jared doesn't need me since he's training a new guy. Looks like we'll all have the day together, eh?" He shot me a wink, and I smiled. I'd hoped to be introduced to the area, and what better way to do it then with all of them? It would give me even more time to get to know the guys.

"Why don't we give Scarlett here a tour? She's gotta know about all the good spots," Hannah proposed, and was met with sounds of approval. The only one who didn't reply was Calum, who's eyebrows hung low over his eyes as he ate his breakfast.

"Count me out, I've got some shit to do." No one questioned his vague answer, and I guessed this was routine around here. Calum did what he pleased and no one pushed him. To me it was peculiar, because I'd always been the kind of person to appreciate communication. Clearly I had a lot to learn if I was going to stick around here.

They parted ways to get ready, but I stayed behind to clean up the dishes. Small things like this made me feel better about staying at the house. Calum was last to leave the table, and was watching me with steely eyes as I rinsed out the mugs. Wordlessly, he stood up and stalked over to the sink, halting. I stopped what I was doing and glanced up at him, intimidated when I met his gaze. A beat went by, and then he set his bowl down and promptly left.

I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding.

Soon after I'd changed and put on a bit of makeup, glad that my appearance looked slightly more acceptable. I was nervous and excited for the day ahead; seeing a new city was always fun, especially one I'd be living in for a while.

Between the guys they had three cars, the nicest belonging to Ashton which he'd bought after his first promotion. Luke and Michael shared an old station wagon since their jobs were fairly close together, and Calum drove a vintage mustang. I whistled under my breath, wondering how he afforded such a nice car. He climbed in and sped off within seconds, and I watched him disappear from view.

The rest of us piled into the station wagon with Michael behind the wheel and Luke riding shotgun.

"Alright, where to first ladies and gentleman?"

"We gotta show her the music shop," Hannah proposed.

"Oh yeah, it's a real exciting place," Luke joked. "Dusty, too."

We drove off, and Michael lowered the windows. The sky was sunny and blotted with clouds, a small breeze cooling down the warm air. I rested my arm on the window, and leaned out to look at the trees blurring by. Michael drove fast but controlled, and I could feel my heart flutter as we flew down the street.

The music shop was actually pretty cool, and Luke even took us to the back to show us where they stored the vintage and expensive stuff. Guitars, basses, even a dismantled drum kit were hiding in the back room. Michael and Luke were like little boys around all the stuff, itching to play and show us their chops.

"For a while we wanted to start a band," Luke explained, strumming a simple tune on an acoustic guitar. "But life got in the way, I guess. Besides, our parents basically told us we'd amount to nothing, so here we are."

I frowned. "You shouldn't let someone else tell you what you should do." He looked up, smiling sadly.

"Yeah, but when that someone pays for your entire life, it's pretty hard to say no." I nodded, understanding what he meant. Money was the ultimate decider in life, as I knew all too well.

After the music shop we drove by Michael's start-up, which he claimed was the "most legit garage in the whole city." It was quite literally a garage attached to some guy's house, but Michael insisted all the geniuses started out small.

As we continued driving around, I briefly thought about Calum and where he could possibly be, and I even kept an eye out for his mustang. But he was nowhere to be seen, and by lunch the thought of him had completely evaporated from my mind.

Lunch was at Michael's favorite place, which served the best cheese fries I'd ever tasted in my whole life. As I was eating a thought occurred to me.

"Hey, do you guys know any places hiring? I've gotta get a job now that I'm not spending all my time on school." Back at university, I'd thrown all of my energy into schoolwork since my scholarships depended on it. Now though, a job was a necessity.

They were quiet for a minute, thinking. Then Hannah said, "Oh, I think the cafe on fourth street is looking for someone. You have any experience?"

"I worked retail when I was seventeen back home, so I guess not. But I think I'm a quick learner."

"Wanna swing by right now?"

"Nah, I'll go tomorrow. Today's been too fun, I want to keep it going."

We finished lunch, and perused around town for an hour or so more, showing me various shops and places I'd want to know about. When we finally got back home, the driveway was still empty.

"Think you're in the mood for a beat down in Smash, Lukey boy?" Michael goaded, and Luke shoved him good-naturedly.

"Nobody's getting beat down here except you, my friend."

Hannah and I rolled our eyes, but followed them into the living room nonetheless. We wasted the afternoon watching them play video games and arguing over it, until Hannah got so sick of it she begged me to do something else with her.

"How about we organize your closet? I want to go out later, so we've gotta find outfits."

I readily agreed, excited at the prospect of going clubbing. Hannah had been my partner in crime and always made sure to drag me out of my dorm so I had some fun instead of always staying in and studying.

We began to sift through my bags, and after emptying all of them I realized how little I actually owned. Hannah didn't comment; she knew the reality of the situation, and gave me an encouraging smile.

"Don't worry, we'll go shopping once you get that job and fill this closet right up." I knew I wouldn't be wasting my paycheck on party clothes, but I appreciated her idea nonetheless.

"Where are we going tonight?" I asked.

"Where we always go, it's a place Ashton discovered. It's big, so it never feels cramped. They have a killer DJ, which is rare in this town." She pulled out a black skirt and long sleeved black crop top with a lace up back.

I raised my eyebrows in slight surprise. "Kinda dark, no?"

Hannah rolled her eyes. "Trust me, black is the way to go. You look sultry and dark, and with the lights in the club it looks great."

I laughed but accepted the outfit. "Who am I trying to look sultry for?"

Hannah put her hands on her hips. "Scarlett, you're hot, you're single, and you've got nothing better to do. Get yourself some."

I flushed, embarrassed at her confidence in me. I'd never been the outgoing type of girl to go after guys I liked. I'd been pursued only a few times, mostly by guys I found repulsive. I'd had two boyfriends my whole life, one in high school who had no idea how to kiss with tongue, and one in the beginning of college who left me alone at a party where I knew no one and got thrown up on by a drunk guy. Needless to say, I wasn't crazy about either of them.

Hannah left to get changed herself, and I sighed as I looked at the outfit on the bed. You might as well let loose, I told myself. Hannah was right; you have nothing better to do.

I pulled the skirt on and tied up the crop top flipping my hair over my shoulder as I combed through the reddish brown locks with my fingers. Frowning in the mirror, I swiped some eyeliner on and curled my lashes, sticking out my bottom lip in a pout. Hannah was right; I looked dark, but sultry was still up in the air.

Realizing I had no idea what shoes to wear, I went downstairs and saw Michael and Luke waiting to leave in the living room. They both had dark jeans and leather jackets on, looking like hot bikers. Luke whistled as I walked by, blue eyes tracking me.

"Looking good, Scarlett."

I blushed and thanked him before running into Hannah, who actually had boots in her hand. They were the black knee high kind, and I snorted at her insistence of keeping to a black theme.

"Wear these, I'm going with heels tonight." She looked hot herself; her black skirt was leather, and her shirt was off the shoulder and very low cut. A wave of appreciation for her washed over me; I could always count on Hannah to make me feel good about myself.

We were all ready, and the sky was dark with only a few stars dotting the black canvas. Michael had ordered a cab, and it was waiting for us as we descended the driveway.

As Hannah and I slid across the back seat, the driver glanced in the rear-view mirror.

"And how are you ladies doing tonight?" he asked suggestively, making my face redden.

"Seriously, dude?" Luke said, glaring at the guy from the passenger seat. "Just drive the car and don't say anything, please. Or do you not want to get paid?"

He met my eyes in the mirror, and I hoped my expression showed my gratitude. I knew I could rely on Luke to defend me if I needed it, and that was a comforting thought.

"Ashton and Calum are already there," Hannah told us, and I was slightly surprised to hear that Calum was coming. He'd blown off the day with us, but I guess he couldn't turn down a night out.

When we arrived, I saw how big the club is and my jaw dropped. I could hear the hammering music from outside, and watched as bodies waded in and out of the door. Hannah stuck close by my side, with Michael and Luke leading the way. I smiled nervously at the bouncer, who met my eyes with a blank expression.

Bright lights danced across bodies glowing with sweat, and a crowded dance floor pulsed with the heartbeats of dozens of people. Girls hung onto guys, guys held onto girls. Tables were piled high with empty glasses and bottles, and everyone's eyes were dull with a buzz.

I couldn't help but smile, and Hannah grabbed my hand as she led us through the throng of people. My body itched to join them and dance, the music almost as intoxicating as the alcohol at the bar.

We found our way to the back, where Ashton and Calum were at the bar drinking. Ashton spotted Hannah and grabbed her for a big kiss, whispering something in her ear that made her giggle and grip his bicep. Calum emptied his glass and turned to greet Michael and Luke. His dark eyes raked down my body, face barely illuminated by the roving lights. He looked good; black jeans and boots, his staple apparently. But today he had a leather jacket hugging his broad shoulders, and the glint of rings showed on his fingers. He looked like a shadow ready to melt into the background.

"How was your tour?" he asked, leaning back on his forearms against the tabletop. I couldn't tell if his question was genuine or mocking, so I decided to answer honestly.

"It was great, I think I'm really gonna like it here."

He didn't react to my response, instead motioned to the bartender to get him another drink.

"You good here?" Hannah yelled over the music. "I'm gonna go off with Ashton for a bit, but I'll be back to dance with you later, okay?" I nodded, and the two of them soon dissolved in the crowd. Michael and Luke recognized someone, and went over to talk. I was fine with being alone, and took a seat at the bar.

The bartender had a kind smile and bright eyes. "What can I get you?"

I drummed my fingers on the table, thinking. I don't know, what's good?"

Someone scoffed next to me, and I glanced over at Calum. I hadn't realized he was still here, and suddenly regretted my juvenile question.

"Get her a juice box or something, Joe," he said, knocking back his second glass of dark liquid. He was probably already drunk, but I knew he'd be mean even if he was sober.

Feeling like I had to prove something, I straightened up and said firmly, "I'll take a tequila."

Calum didn't react, much to my disappointment. I wasn't a crazy drinker, but I could handle my alcohol. I actually quite liked getting drunk; the buzz made me happy and loopy, and everything was funny when I was drunk.

Joe poured me the drink, and I inhaled deeply before taking a sip. It burned as it slid down my throat, but I didn't wince. Calum's empty glass was refilled, and he lifted it in mock cheers.

"Where were you today?" I asked, voice getting slightly drowned out by the music. Calum scowled at my question.

"Why?"

Shrugging, I replied, "I don't know, you missed a fun day."

He took a big gulp of his drink. "Why do you care?"

I blinked, deciding to be candid. "I don't, I was just trying to be nice." My answer must have surprised him, because he actually shifted to face me.

"What makes you think I want you to be nice to me?" His freezing stare sent chills down my spine, and I took another swig for some liquid courage.

"Generally speaking people are supposed to be nice to one another, but I can see how you wouldn't understand that concept." With that, I finished my drink and flipped my hair behind my shoulders.

"See you later, Calum," I said before striding off onto the dance floor to find Scarlett. I spotted her dancing with Ashton, and she gave me a big drunken hug before jumping around with delight.

As my hips began to sway and I danced along to the music, I could feel the heat of someone's stare on me, but it only made me dance harder.

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coshayphinelove · 4 years

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i’ve been thinking a lot about how yes coshayphine is great as an amalgamation, but they have to share interests and hobbies that maybe not all of them share. like if shayphine has a date night they’ll wanna do something that cosima doesn’t like like they do etc. like when you’re a kid and your sibling is at a sleepover so your parents let you pick what’s for dinner. (was that just me? bc my brother got invited to way more sleepovers than me?? anYWayY)

shayphine: - definitely trying new foods. like foodie kind of stuff. like weird new concept restaurants and popups. and cooking. a new recipe is definitely a thing they do together. hello holding up a spoon for the other to taste test??? also wine pairing. trying to one up each other with wackier and wackier wines to pair with their recipes.

- jogging? swimming? exercise stuff. cosima does it, but like. as a necessity. shay and delphine enjoy it and seek it out. they jog with the dog every day, who loves it. (i have new dog headcanons peep those on a different post.) at first delphine can only do a little and shay is a pseudo trainer, but then delphine’s adolescence spent playing soccer and running track kick in and shay gets kind of competitive. do they run charity 5ks? maybe that is something i’ll think about. (also just. they like seeing each other in gym clothes)

shaysima: - carly rae jepsen music. cosima scream sings it. cut to the feeling cured shay’s depression (seriously just like. stop what you’re doing for 3 minutes and 25 seconds, put on your best headphones, turn it up a little louder than is advisable, and listen.) i feel like shaysima’s first date after canon in s5 fix it is a crj concert. i think i’m gonna make it happen. shay is not a fan of fireworks or thunder so on hot summer nights when she can’t get to sleep before the racket, cosima will blast some crj and crj adjacent music and dance around like an idiot to distract shay.

- philosophy. like they discuss things. cosima’s read enough bc of school and shay reads poetry and more modern stuff. they like to talk big brain humanity stuff sometimes. like science and ethics and holistic healing stuff. cosima has a lot of feelings having been part of a science experiment (like the stuff that came out of dyad and leda had huge impacts that could save lives, but she suffered as a subject and she has conflicting feelings about that.) in her practice, shay views people as wholes from their work life to their deepest innermost lives. lots of economic philosophies don’t and she’s Heated.

cophine: - animals. delphine’s entire social media presence is just pictures of her animals and cute animal videos she finds on her feed. cosima also loves animals and like knows wayy too much about them bc of her studies in evolution. she and delphine geek out about behaviors and traits and stuff. training their dog they geek out about how it’s even possible. (i used to know so much gonna study some more evolutionary biology where tf are my notes?) also cosima has a very chaotic tik tok and when delphine is stressed she’ll pull delphine to her chest and just search dogs on there and let her watch. half of her favorited videos are to show delphine later.

- video games. cosima has been playing hardcore since her first gameboy and her love has grown with the medium. delphine, being trans and perceived as a teenage boy in the 90′s, was the target audience. she had so much pokemon merch as a kid. she had some early nintendo stuff, then school happened and she got swamped and is now getting back into games. cosima lets her play on her consoles at first then she gets into it a lot more than anticipated so they both have their own switches and possibly ps4s (i have no idea what games except minecraft and pokemon but that’s a pretty good start. probably some star wars for delphine and way more of the newer stuff like tlou and red dead redemption. movie ish games with heavy story for cosima. delphine loves portal bc puzzles cosima hates it bc where is the LORE)

#orphan black #coshayphine #delphine cormier #cosima niehaus #shay davydov #headcanons

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lgcyunhyeong · 5 years

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hey there!! this is my first time in lgc and i’m super excited to be here! i’ve been eyeing this place for a while and i’m glad i finally mustered up the nerve to join. this is cho yunhyeong, 21, works part time at his local gs25. he’s been a trainee for little over a year and is hoping to eventually debut in a band! he plays the bass and sings a little bit, and he also wants to get into songwriting and composition eventually. he’s generally kind of a weird kid--super spacey, often distracted, your local space nerd--but he’s a good egg in spite of that. compared to some of the other trainees, he’s pretty aimless and chill, but he does genuinely love music and performing, so...!

you can find some more info about him on his about and background pages but they’re kind of messy so i’ll drop some quick facts about yunhyeong under the cut, along with some connection/plot ideas to hopefully kickstart things! if you’d like to plot, please hit like on this post and i’ll hop into your ims! i also have a discord if you prefer to plot there - just ask me for my username ♡

quick facts:

born and brought up in seoul - very local, most comfortable in his neighbourhood, the most exciting vacation he ever took was to busan (and it was #lit). his parents own the best hot pot restaurant in seoul, and yeah he’s biased but that doesn’t mean it’s not true!

has an older brother currently in law school and their relationship is best described as ‘i tolerate you’. they’re complete opposites - his brother is super driven and loud and outgoing while yunhyeong is not so they’ve never really clicked beyond the fact that they are siblings and therefore are obligated to love each other

was the quiet kid growing up, had a very chill and subdued personality. didn’t really speak unless spoken too, didn’t play much with others. most of the time he kept to himself and focused on his hyperfixations - first, it was dinosaurs, and then space! and he’s been stuck with space ever since

his mom put him in music lessons when he was younger in hopes that a relatable hobby might help him make friends?? also that it’d work as a conversation starter but it didn’t because yunhyeong remained as weird and solitary as ever! he did fall in love with music as a result though

in high school he decided to branch out and make friends by starting a band - new age sexy aliens or NASA for short. his recruitment process was like: whoever shows up to join is part of the band! it worked out for the best since he and the band members got really close

they started off playing covers but then branched out into their own original music (yunhyeong helped write some of their lyrics). most of their songs used heavy space imagery and they were really pretty but also low key about aliens

yunhyeong loves aliens

nasa had a pretty dedicated fanbase both online and in their school! did well, were thriving, living their best lives and playing hella gigs, and then their lead singer got scouted by an entertainment company. it was the beginning of the end for them; the rest of the members went their own ways as well and the band officially disbanded in 2018 rip

yunhyeong started to busk on/off since he wasn’t attending university and didn’t really know what the heck else he wanted to do with his life outside of the band, and that’s where he got scouted by legacy! joined the company because like... well... why would he not...

wants to debut in a band if he can... and focus on songwriting and music composition as a secondary career path. he isn’t like... super motivated though? has always had issues with setting goals and being ambitious... he’s more like, eh, i’m just gonna go where life takes me!

personality wise, he’s still a pretty quiet kid unless you get him talking about one of his interests, in which case he will never shut up EVER. he gets distracted easily and will sometimes zone out when you’re talking to him but has a good memory of like, the most random shit you wouldn’t expect him to recall

easygoing as hell, rarely gets riled up over anything. on the flip side, he doesn’t really come across as sincere (even though he almost always is!) in his emotions because people are like... hm... just feels fake. tries to stay as positive as he can and doesn’t dwell on stuff that might upset him. sometimes people think he’s shallow! but he has #deepthoughts. he just doesn’t share them

unmotivated when it comes to most things! has no goals, no ambition, doesn’t care much for academia or being forced to like, conform to things. his mom calls him a free spirit but she’s probably just making excuses for him. it’s more like he’s stuck in some sort of limbo?? scared of growing up but scared of being left behind. it’s complicated

he’s really a sweet guy though. a little odd - he’s not the best at showing affection and sometimes he can be really... strange? offbeat? you never know what the fuck is going on in his head. but he’s a Human Being Just Like You (sadly) and simply trying his best to live every day

connection/plot ideas:

he didn’t really have many friends growing up, but still - childhood friends! maybe you were the exception. maybe you didn’t mind that he was awkward and quiet and a little weird! maybe you tripped and fell on the playground and he gave you a star-patterned purple band aid and you decided you would die for him. who knows!

friends in general who understand him and look @ him with fond exasperation... must be able to tolerate his antics. liking aliens is a bonus. jk, but he’s a sweet guy who loves his friends! please be kind to him

fans of his former band, nasa (or antis?). he was the bassist and a sub vocal and didn’t stand out too much compared to some of the other guys, but he always did the intros and he’ll happily talk about nasa all day! discuss the symbolism of their songs with him

exes? i genuinely cannot think of a single reason why anyone would want to date him but i feel like he’s had at least (1) relationship before... maybe you took a chance and after you started dating you were like, god, i’m running away

crushes, whether one-sided on his part or your part or reciprocated but you don’t know it yet?? he’s holding out for his alien bae but maybe you don’t know that and just think he’s like, this quiet mysterious pretty boy. maybe he thinks you’re cool for a human!

fellow trainees who can play instruments... yunhyeong needs someone to #jam with because playing the bass alone is kind of lonely (and since he’d like to eventually get on the band track, making some connections would be cool)

fellow trainees in general, especially ones in his training group!! he’s not as hungry for debut or as ambitious as some which means he’s a) non-threatening and b) chill to hang with. you could be into that or it could absolutely infuriate you since he doesn’t seem to be taking things seriously! maybe you think he doesn’t deserve to be here

met online on an alien enthusiast forum and you talk almost every single day about various theories and moves and all that kind of stuff but you’ve never met irl! and yunhyeong really wants to meet you in person!

idk bully him

you’re buying a bunch of weird shit from the convenience store where yunhyeong works at like 2 am and he has so many questions and won’t let you pay and leave until you answer them

alternatively, you find him sleeping on the job and you want to wake him up but the moment you touch his arm, he makes this high pitched screeching noise and you fall over and take an entire shelf of candy down with you

you invite yunhyeong out for drinks but he took one sip of soju and he’s a mess... you didn’t sign up to take care of a giant drunken baby but guess what! you will be! if he tries to kiss you, dodge him

you always bum free meals from yunhyeong’s parents’ restaurant because his parents think you’re his best friend. tbh you actually don’t really like him but he doesn’t realize it so he never bothers correcting his parents either!

you didn’t realize yunhyeong was allergic to cats and dogs and you brought your cat/dog near him and oh my god he is having the UGLIEST allergic reaction

yunhyeong can’t swim. you push him into a pool as a joke. chaos ensues

you play various video games together and yunhyeong is really good but he’s more interested in stardew valley than in league of legends and you keep pestering him to play with you dammit i need you on my team

you slipped a love letter under his door for one of his roommates but yunhyeong thought it was for him and now he keeps (kindly) rejecting you whenever you see him and you don’t even know how to react

Oh No We Are Trapped In This Room And The Power Went Out And I Am Scared Of The Dark Please Hold My Hand For Science

yunhyeong loves smoothies and one day you catch him trying to blend a slice of pepperoni pizza into a smoothie because he is, and i quote, “tired of chewing”

IDK ALL THESE IDEAS ARE BAD BUT PLEASE PLOT WITH ME ANYWAY

#lgc:intro #( * out of ufos ! )#( why did i write so much )#( this post is long and ugly )#( ummmm i'm sorry but i'm excited to be here!! )#( pls plot with my weird dumb baby )

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noladyme · 4 years

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Skip To My Lou, My Darling - Chapter 7, This Is How You Remind Me Of What I Really Am I

The road so far...

Lulu has somewhat settled in to the bunker with the Winchesters - the ever affectionate Dean, and his sick brother, Sam - after facing both vampires, demons and a frozen ghost. Frustrated from all training and no actual hunting, she seeks out something for herself. But when she meets the scribe of God, her world - once again - is turned upside down.

Our story continues in season 9.

Tag list @edonaspanca @wonderlandfandomkingdom

“… with the fall a witness/keeper (translation unclear) will be chosen; and she will come to know them all by their grace…” - Kevin Tran’s translation from old Enochian, from the angel tablet; handwritten by God’s scribe.

---

“No”. “Yes!”. “It’s not happening”. “Dean, come on…!”.

A month after our incident in Sioux Falls, Dean was still sore about me driving his car without his say so. It had been 15 of the most thrilling minutes of my life, before he’d literally threatened to set fire to Sam’s computer – and I’d relented; pulling over to let him drive his baby himself. I’d spent days after our return to the bunker making amends in every way possible; but even pie and sex – and pie during sex – had still not earned me back my front seat privileges.

“Sam’s not even going out with us – and you won’t let Kevin leave the bunker. I’m not sitting in the back seat, when it’s just the two of us in the car”, I complained. “Then you’re not going”, Dean declared. “Fine. You go grocery shopping alone”, I smirked. “I’m late, anyways. Remember my shade?”. Dean frowned. “I’m not buying you lipstick alone!”. I crossed my arms. “You absolutely are. I need it”, I said. “For what?”, Dean whined. “For my job…”, I said.

I’d taken a job as a bartender in a small music venue in Kansas City, just across the state line to Missouri. I didn’t actually have any bills to pay, but I hated living of Dean and Sam; and wanted my own earnings.

“You don’t need to work. I can have Charlie set you up with a card”, Dean muttered. “Ugh, this again”, I groaned. “You’ve had me on lockdown for weeks! I need to go out… Further away than the local Wendy’s”. “So, now you’re complaining about my choice of date-destinations?”, Dean grunted. I rolled my eyes. “Yeah… date”, I grumbled. “I paid!”, Dean “Even got you flowers…”. “That you stole from a Gas-n-Go!”, I frowned. “You even made me distract the cashier while you did it”. “What about the candlelit dinner?”, he asked. “We went through the drive-thru; and you put a birthday candle in my burger!”, I yelled. “And – oh yeah – Sam was there”. “It was a job!”, Dean shrugged. “Not my fault the joint was haunted”.

I threw my hands up in frustration, and stomped out of Deans room, to go find my stuff in room 13. He followed me down the hall. “And when are you gonna move in properly?”, he grunted. “You sleep in my room every night. No reason to waste electricity on another room”. “You have an unlimited supply of resources in this place”, I muttered, and stepped into the room; searching my bag for the dress demon-Tamara had given me. It would be fine for my first shift at the bar; as long as I wore jeans underneath it.

“It’s like you don’t want to be here… around me”, Dean said. I turned to face him. “This has nothing to do with you, Dean”, I smiled. “I need this for myself. I can’t be your in house sex-bunny for the rest of my life!”. Dean smirked and stepped up to me – twirling a lock of my hair around his fingers. “You didn’t mind last night…”, he teased.

He slid his hand around my waist, and pulled me flush against him. I swallowed hard, as his scent hit my nose, and warmth began merging from my core. “Dean…”, I croaked; as he leant in, and brushed his lips against my neck. “Lou…”, he breathed. His other hand travelled down to my bottom. “I need…”, I rasped. “Me too…”, Dean smiled; and moved his mouth to nibble at my lobe. “No… Oh, that feels… No!”. I pushed him away. “I have to get ready…”. “For grocery shopping?”, Dean grunted. “For work!”, I sighed. “You’re shopping alone, remember?”.

Dean went to lean against the wall. “I’d honestly rather have you hunting…”, he muttered. I smiled over my shoulder at him, and got out my makeup purse. “The last time we went on a hunt together – not counting the Wendy’s poltergeist – I got a ghost STD”, I chuckled. “So you’re done hunting?”, Dean asked; a slight hopeful tone to his voice. “Nope”, I said; and began taking off my t-shirt. “You just gonna look at me, while I change?”. “Absolutely!”, Dean smirked. I pulled off my top completely; walked over to him; and placed his hands on my bra-covered breasts. “Boobs. You happy now?”, I sighed. Dean looked like a kid in a candy store, and he smiled at my mounds. “Now, will you let me get ready?”.

I backed away from my main squeeze; leaving him to squeeze the air. “Oh, come on!”, he whined. “You can’t do that, and then just…”. “I absolutely can”, I smiled. “Oh, and until you let me ride shotgun again, that’s the last time you’ll get near these puppies”. “Fine!”, Dean growled. “But no driving!”.

I pulled the dress over my head, and pulled it down over my bottom. “You gonna wear pants with that?”, he muttered. “I hadn’t planned on it”, I lied; and instantly decided not to. “Do you have a problem with how I look?”, I challenged; turning around to face him again – sending him a sly grin. “Not at all… if you were a strip…”. He paused when he saw my expression. “Strip… mall… employee… Please don’t kill me”. He tried for an innocent smile. I sighed. “I like this dress. I like how I look in it”, I said. “So do I”, Dean retorted. “And so will every other male in a fifty mile radius, with a pulse… Maybe even some women”. “And that’s a problem?”, I asked.

Dean sat down on the bed, and threw his hands up in surrender. “What do you want me to say?”, he asked. “Go serve beers to strangers, looking like a dancer from an AC/DC video; and leave me here with my sick brother, to figure out how to close the gates of Hell?”. I blushed. “You think I look that good?”, I smiled. Dean grunted nonsensically.

I walked over to him, and straddled his lap; running my fingers through his short hair. “You wanted me to stay out of these trials; and I am”, I said. “I’m not even complaining that you’re keeping the king of Hell in the dungeon, we were supposed to make into a playroom”. I was still unhappy that I’d been cheated out of having a place to set up a gaming-room to hang out with Charlie in when she visited – I’d fallen in complete platonic love with the sweet nerd, after we’d been introduced a few weeks before.

Dean put his arms around my waist, and held me close. “There’s too much going on right now… You, out there – alone… I don’t like it”. His expression was serious. “I have my tattoo…”. I kissed his forehead. “… hex bags…”. His left cheek. “… my blade…”. Right cheek. Dean raised a brow at me. “Which you’ll hide where?”, he grunted. “That dress is… Crap, you really look hot!”. I chuckled, and pressed my lips to his. Dean held me tighter – making our kiss linger – and very distracting thoughts develop in my brain.

I groaned in frustration as he leant backwards, pulling me with him. “Stay…”, he breathed against my lips; and pushed me to lay on my back – leaning over me. His hand wandered up my thigh, and slid under the dress; tugging at my panties at my hip. “Dean…”, I sighed. “You want me to stop?”, he smirked, and moved his lips to kiss my neck; while putting his leg over me – his knee between my legs. “No… But I have to go”. “You really don’t…”, he whispered, and stroked his index finger inside my underwear; making me gasp when it found my folds. “It’s gonna take me forever to get to KC, without a ride. I need to catch a bu… oh my god…”. Deans finger entered me, and his thumb stroked my clit in that delicious way he’d found could make me soar. “I’ll give you a ride…”, he chuckled. “I’ll even drive you to work, afterwards”. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is…”, I moaned. “Right back at you, sweetheart”, Dean smirked.

As Dean kept pushing all the right buttons, I was soon quivering under his touch. He circled my nub, and stroked my walls in slow torturous movements, and with a desperate squeak, I came. “You don’t play fair”, I whimpered. “Playing fair doesn’t win the game. I taught you that during poker lessons”, he chuckled. He removed his finger from my insides, and slipped it into his mouth. “Now that that is settled, we can get back to that naked Karate Kid marathon”.

I got my panties back in place, and laughed softly. “I’m still going to work”, I smiled. “What?”, Dean grunted. “You thought you could convince me with a bit of playtime?”, I chuckled. I got up from the bed – trying desperately not to give away how much like jelly my legs felt – and pulled my dress back down. Dean grumbled, and got up as well.

I grabbed my leather jacket – slid my blade into the pocket I’d sown into that one as well – and put it and my ankle boots on. Dean followed me down the hallway – a sour expression on his face. We bumped in to Kevin, who instantly blushed at the sight of me. “You look nice, ma’am”, he said, not meeting my eyes; and scuttered off into his own room. “Thanks, Kevin!”, I smiled at him, as he closed the door behind him. “That kid is weird…”, I muttered. “He just doesn’t know how to talk to girls”, Dean said. “Especially ones in mini-dresses”.

Sam was seated in front of his computer in the library; looking sick as a dog. “How are you feeling?”, I said. Sam coughed, and ran a hand over his face. “I’ll be fine”, he said. Dean frowned. “I finished your ID. You sure about the name, though?”. “Yup”, I smiled. He handed me a driver’s license with my picture on it. “Well, here you go; Jordan Knight from Denver”, he said with a crooked smile. “Thank you”, I said.

I went to grab my purse. “Pop quiz!”, Dean called out. “I’ve got a bus to catch”, I groaned. Dean raised a brow at me. “Fine. Go”. “Werewolf”, Dean said. “Silver”, I sighed. “Ghoul?”, Sam challenged. “Decapitation”, I retorted. “We’re being too easy on you…”, Dean grunted. “Lamia”. “Season well with rosemary and salt; then cook over fire until dead”, I said, rolling my eyes. “Can I go now? I’ll be late”. “Smartass”, Dean muttered.

Sam stood up. “You got your hex bags? Holy water?”. I picked up my purse from the table. “Yes, dad”, I smiled. He chuckled weakly. “See you tomorrow”. Dean followed me to the stairs. “I put silver bullets in your .45. Carved devil’s traps into them”, he muttered. “Thanks, Daddy”, I smirked – making his lips twitch into a smile. I got on my toes, and kissed him gently. He squeezed my bottom. “I should take you…”, he said. I looked back at Sam, who’d gone back to his work. “You need to take care of your little brother”, I said. “Get groceries – and my lipstick. I’m almost out”. He grunted, and stole another kiss; before I walked up the stairs, and left the bunker.

---

It being my first shift at the bar, I was happy it wasn’t too busy. A cover band played poor renditions of Queen; and the free drinks for employees came in handy – making it easier to deal with the guitarist’s butchering of the classics. Tips were good as well; probably due to my dress.

Taking a break around midnight, I checked my phone. I had one voicemail. “Lou. We had to go. Kevin figured out something… I don’t know when we’ll be back. I’m sorry… We brought the house guest with us, so you’ll have the place to yourselves… Please be careful. Don’t go out there alone. You know what I’m talking about… I love you”.

Don’t go out there alone. Dean didn’t want me hunting; but he also didn’t tell me where he and Sam where going, or what they were doing. They’d taken Crowley. Whatever was happening, it was big – and I couldn’t help but feel a little frustrated to not have been included in the plans. Sam was sick, and Dean knew I would do anything for his brother – and for him.

I frowned my way through the rest of the shift; and hitched a ride with one of my new coworkers back to Lebanon. She was a cute as a button girl – just out of college – named Chloe. “It was a good first night for you Jordan! You should have seen me on my first shift”, she smiled, as I got out of the car by a building, I’d told her I lived in. “Yeah, I’ve worked in bars before”, I said. “I can tell. Well, good night!”. I waved her off, and waited until her Volvo was out of sight, before I took the 3-mile trek towards the bunker, on foot.

It felt strangely empty without the boys and Castiel there. Kevin’s face went white the minute I’d stepped into the library, and he practically ran to his room, to avoid conversation. Both the brother’s rooms showed evidence of them packing up in a hurry; Dean even having nabbed one of my own flannels – either by mistake, or because he liked how it’s snugness looked on him. Knowing him, it was probably the latter.

I texted him once I’d crawled under the sheets in his bed. - You stole my shirt. Bring it back whole. And come back whole yourself. x I snuggled up to his pillow, which smelled like his shampoo, musk and gunpowder – reminding me to put my gun under my own pillow as I slept.

I had a restless sleep; and when I woke around noon, I still hadn’t heard back from Dean or Sam. I was getting worried, and considered calling up some of the emergency numbers I had in my phone; to see if any hunters had heard from any of them. I decided against it, knowing that the brothers would give me hell if I got anyone else involved in their plans. For all I knew, they were actually in the process of saving the world right then and there.

---

My second night at the bar was busier than the night before. I was struggling with not knowing what was going on with Dean and Sam; and once again with the music. Bad renditions of Queen were now terrible ones of Zeppelin. Dean would have torn the place apart; or at the very least threatened the lead singer with a black eye, if he was there.

“Jordan! Table 4”, Chloe called out, and handed me a tray of drinks. I made my way through the crown, and smilingly served the patrons waiting. Once back at the bar, I checked my phone again. Nothing. I went into a storage room, and called up Kevin. “Hello…?”. “Kevin, it’s Lulu. Have you heard from the guys?”. There was no answer. “Kevin?”. “Sorry”, he squeaked. “You have my number?”. “Uh huh. And now you have mine”, I smiled. “Cool…”, the advanced placement student breathed. “Kevin? You heard from them”, I asked. “Uhm… no. Nothing. I can call you… if I do. Is it ok if I call you?”, he croaked. “Yes, Kevin. It’s ok if you call me”, I sighed. “Ok. Bye!”. He hung up. “Weird kid…”, I muttered.

I gave in, and dialed up Dean. Waiting to hear from him was tearing me apart. “This is Dean’s other, other, other cell. Two people have this number. If you’re not one of them, hang up. Sam; you know the deal. Find the nearest bar. Lou; yes… to whatever you’re about to say. Unless it’s driving privileges… beep”. I sighed. “Dean… What’s going on? Are you ok? I’m worried. Please call me… And I’m getting behind that wheel at some point. We both know it… I love you”. I hung up, and went back to work.

I plastered on my fakest grin, and served beers for another hour, before, suddenly, someone called out for me. And not a person I’d hoped. “Lulu?”. I froze in place. “Lulu! It is you!”. Pete was standing right in front of me. “Hi… Pete”, I croaked. “What are you doing here? I thought you went back to Denver, when your old job went out of business”. Pete grinned at me. “Yeah, I did. I’m filling in as a singer for the next band”, he said. “Their lead has mono”. “Oh… ok”, I said.

He opened his arms for a hug, and I stepped into his arms; giving him a half-hearted embrace. A chill went through my body, reminding me of the intense cold I’d experienced while suffering from ghost possession a month before. “How are you?”, he asked. “Did Alaska not work out?”. “It was… too cold”, I said; and wiggled out of his hold. “You look good, honey”, he said. “Pete…”, I groaned. “Sorry, I know… It’s still hard not to think of you like that…”, Pete muttered. “I still think you and me…”. I shook my head. “No… Let’s not do that”, I said. “Is there someone else”. “Yes”, I replied. “And it’s serious?”, he croaked. “Very”, I nodded. “Look, my shift is almost over. I have to go”.

I went to pick up a tray from the bar, but Pete followed. “Lulu!”, he sighed, and grabbed my arm. “I have to go”, I said, and shrugged him off. “Who is he?”, Pete called after me. “How long? Was it while you and I were still…? Lulu, you owe me that much”. I sighed. “I’m sorry. I can’t talk about it”. “Why?”. I ran my hand through my hair, desperate to avoid the situation. “I’m in… witness protection”, I said quietly. Pete frowned. “After that thing at your hotel? With those fugitives?”. I nodded. “It’s complicated. But I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone you saw me here”.

“Jordan!”, Chloe called from behind the bar. “You gonna grab these drinks?”. I snatched up the tray. “Pete… Have a good show”, I muttered, and walked away; leaving him looking flabbergasted after me.

I knew what my encounter with Pete meant. I couldn’t keep working here. I should have stayed out of KC all together; but doing something for myself had made me happy. Nabbing up my tips, I discretely got my purse and my jacket, and slipped out the back of the bar, hurrying down the busy street, to catch a bus or a ride, or whatever I could, to get back to Lebanon.

The hair at the back of my neck were raising, and I felt shivers down my spine. Something was wrong. A part of my training with Sam and Dean the last month, had literally been hide and go seek; and I was at the point where I could feel it in my bones, when I was being tailed. Sliding my hand into my purse, I cocked the hammer on my gun, and went down an alley. I ducked behind a dumpster; and waited.

Pete came down the alley, clearly having followed me. I secured my gun, and stepped forward. “Pete, you should go. Please”, I said. Pete stepped over to me, and pulled me into his arms. He seemed stronger than he’d been when we were together, and it took everything in me to not let my hunter instinct take over, and go for my blade. “Let me go”, I muttered. “For both our sakes”. He pulled his head back, and looked at me with hard eyes. “Why? Because he’ll hurt you otherwise? Or me?”. I put my hands to his chest, and pushed hard. “What’s that supposed to mean?”, I sputtered. Pete narrowed his eyes at me, and ran his fingers down the still healing bruise on my neck, where the vampire Patrick had bitten me. “This… This is what he does to you. I can see in your eyes that you’re afraid!”.

Pete wasn’t wrong. I was afraid, but not of Dean. I was afraid for him, and for the rest of the world, with everything he and Sam were doing at the moment. Pete tilted his head, and stroked my cheek. “I lie awake… I drive myself crazy, thinking of you”, he sang softly. “Why are you singing that song?”, I croaked. “It’s your song… remember? You thought I wouldn’t remember, how you’d sing this to yourself, in the shower; while cleaning the bar after closing time… Even after sex. And then you’d close your eyes, and frown. That cute little frown”. He ran a finger across my forehead. “It’s not my song, Pete”. I knew I’d have to say something now, to finally get through to him. “It’s ours. His and mine. It was always him… I’m sorry”.

I shrugged Pete off, and began walking back towards the street, when suddenly he grabbed my arm, and put his hand on the back of my head, pressing his lips to mine. I desperately tried to push him off. “Stop!”, I cried out. Pete almost growled. “You know, you broke my heart!”, he said. “When you left me. You and me… we’re endgame. So you can call yourself Lulu or Jordan, or whatever… I’m still gonna…”. He pushed me backwards against a wall, and held me there. “Let me make you happy again”, he breathed, and attacked my lips. I tried raising my knee, but Pete pushed it down, and held himself flush against me – holding on hard to my arm, probably leaving bruises.

“Hey!”, someone called out. A middle-aged man had appeared in the alley. He put a hand on Pete’s arm, and pulled him off me. “I think you should leave the lady alone”. “Stay out of this, man!”, Pete snarled. “I’m her…”. He was distracted long enough for me to raise my fist, and punch him across the jaw, making him stumble backwards. “Leave, Pete!”, I growled. “Before something really bad happens”.

Pete stepped forwards, with an enraged expression painted on his face. The stranger stepped between us, and put a hand on his shoulder. Pete’s face immediately calmed, as he looked at the man. “Walk away, Pete. Now’s not the time”. “Now’s not the time”, Pete repeated; turned around, and walked out of the alley – leaving me with the stranger.

“Hello, Lulu”, the man smiled. I slipped my hand into my purse, and pulled out my gun. “Silver bullets, and devil’s traps carved into them”, I growled. “Who are you, and why are you here?” The man raised his hands into the air. “I’m not a demon!”, he called out. “And those bullets won’t hurt me… My name is Metatron”. I looked the man over. He was short; on the chubby side, and had unruly curly hair. He didn’t look that part of the scribe of God. “You?”, I grunted; slowly lowering my gun. “You’re Metatron?”. The little man smiled softly. “Yes, I am”, he said.

I took a step backwards, secured my gun, and put it back into my purse. “What do you want with me?”. He grinned. “Castiel speaks highly of you. Says you are a good friend, and that he enjoys spending time with you”, he responded. “I don’t have many friends here on earth, and in just a minute, something very big is going to happen. I’d like to share the moment with someone special. You will be the witness”. Metatron raised two fingers – walked towards me – and put them against my chest; right above my heart. A jolt went through me, like someone had put live electricity through my body. I cried out in pain. “What did you do to me? Where is Cass?”, I croaked. On shaky legs I tried to move away; but the angel grabbed my arm. “He’s… unavailable”, Metatron replied. “Now come here. Stand next to me”. I shook my head, and reached for my blade in my jacket. “No thank you. Stranger danger”, I gulped. The angel frowned. “That’s not very friendly. Especially after I saved you from Pete. Come here!”, he said; and yanked hard at my arm. “Look up!”.

I followed his line of sight into the sky; and my jaw dropped. “Can you see them?”, Metatron breathed. What looked like falling stars or comets where dropping from the sky, lighting up the alley, and the angel’s smiling face. “What are they?”, I croaked. “It’s the angels…”, he sighed. “They’re falling. Isn’t it beautiful?”. My breath hitched. “What did you do?”, I rasped. “What did we do? We changed the world!”, Metatron laughed. “I’m creating a new heaven”.

The angel grabbed my hand, and kissed my knuckles. “Thank you for sharing this moment with me!”, he smiled. “Castiel was right to choose you. You’re a good companion… I’ll remember that”. “What’s that supposed to mean?”, I whispered, and pulled my arm from his grasp. “It means, I’ll consider letting you live… if you make the right decisions when the time comes”. He winked at me. “Go home… wherever that is. We’ll meet again”. He was gone.

I tucked away my blade, and made my way back to the street on wobbly legs. People around me were looking at the sky. Once in a while I’d hear a random stranger mutter yes, and see them jolt slightly. It was as if an aura of light would come over them afterwards.

I dialed up Dean. After three rings, he finally picked up. “Lou”, he croaked. “Dean, what’s happening? The sky is on fire, and I was just… molested by both my ex and the scribe of God!”, I almost yelled. A homeless man passing me, gave me a strange look. “What did he do? Did he hurt you?”, Dean growled. “I don’t know…”, I admitted. “He touched me in that freaky angel way. Said he wanted me to witness”, I breathed. “What the hell…?”. I could hear that he was driving. “Baby, go home”. I continued walking down the sidewalk, once in a while getting a strange look from random strangers. They would nod at me, as if they knew me – their eyes alight with something I couldn’t define. “I can’t”, I whispered. “I think I have something stuck to my shoe”. “Dammit!”, Dean cried out, at my use of code. “Ok… Have you heard from Cass?”. “No, nothing”. I sighed. “Did you finish it?”. “No”, Dean said. “Yes… it’s complicated. Sam’s hurt. I have to find some help for him”. “Oh my god… What can I do?”. “Nothing… Lou, you need to disappear. Don’t let anyone find you. You know how to do that”. “Dean…”, I whimpered. “Please let me come to you. I need to help. I don’t even know who I’m hiding from”. “Help me by staying safe. Out of sight. Please do this for me, Lou… I can’t lose both of you”, Dean rasped. “I love you…”. “I love you, Dean”, I whispered. “I’ll find you when it’s over”. He hung up.

I was alone again. Kansas City wasn’t an option, I needed to get out of there as soon as possible. If I went to Lebanon – to the bunker – I’d draw whoever I was hiding from to it. I only had my most basic hunting tools, and no skills to fight anything more dangerous than a vampire or a very weak demon. The only thing I could do was – for once – to listen to Dean, and do as I was told. I needed to disappear.

---

I hadn’t learnt to hotwire a car, and had no real cash to get me anywhere, so hitchhiking was my way forward. It took me 4 days to get to a small town in Michigan, named Hell. I was nothing if not aware of my situation. Last time I’d disappeared, I’d gone to Nowhere, because I didn’t want to be found by Dean, or by anyone else for that matter. This time, I’d literally gone to Hell, to avoid angels.

I was hungry and tired when I got out of a car full of rowdy frat boys, who wanted to party in the home of the Devil himself. I declined their offer of shacking up with them in their hotel, and instead searched out a cheap motel; which I knew I had no way to pay for. I’d have to think about that later.

Dean hadn’t called me, and I was unsure whether it would be safe to call him. I holed up in my room, snacked on cheap noodle cups, and kept my head down, when I once in a while was forced to leave the room by the maid – who would not take no for an answer, when I said I didn’t need my room cleaned up. I couldn’t be around her when she worked; her eyes were too intense, and she stared at me in a weird way.

After 3 more days of sheer panic; my phone finally rang, as I was lying in bed. I didn’t recognize the number, and my hands where shaking when I picked up. “Hello?”, I muttered. “Baby?”, Deans voice said. “What table?”, I croaked. “13. Always 13”, his warm voice said. “Dean… What’s going on? Can I come home?”, I whimpered. “Where are you?”, he asked. “Is it safe for you to know?”, I retorted. “Yeah…”. “In Hell”, I said. “What?”, he grunted. “Michigan. Hell. It’s a thing”, I sighed. “I wanna come back…”. Dean paused before answering. “That’s not a good idea right now, Lou”. “Oh…”, I croaked. “I’m sorry. Sam’s not… himself. It might not be safe. For either of you”. “I understand”, I lied. “You’re lying”, he grunted. “Yeah, I am. Why can’t you tell me what’s happening? When will this be over?”. He sighed, and I heard him moving from his room and down the hall – I recognized the echo. “Soon. I think. I need to keep Sam safe. And you”. “From what?”, I asked. “I don’t know who the bad guys are, and I don’t know how to protect myself from them… You know I hate to admit it, but I’m freaking out here!”. He must have stepped into the library, because the echo changed again. “I know… Look, I have to finish something up here, but after that I can come up to Michigan”, he said. “I wish… I wish it was different. Just please trust me”.

I heard Sam step into the room. “Is that Lulu?”, he asked. “How’s her case going?”. “What is he talking about, Dean?”, I asked. “Yeah, it’s good. She’s good”, Dean said. “Look, sweetheart, I gotta go. Sam says hi. And uhm… iron, for witches. Ok?”. “Dean?”, I breathed. “Bye”. He hung up.

I dropped the phone on the bed, and curled up. Something was very wrong.

---

I woke to a text from Kevin. Hi. This is Kevin Tran. Dean wants your address. So if you could text me back with that, that would be cool. xo K-Man. Five minutes later I got another text from the kid. Hi again. I didn’t mean to write xo. That was just a typo. Have a nice day. Kevin. I chuckled to myself, and texted him my info, sending him an xo in return. Because he deserved it.

In the afternoon I scraped up what little cash I had, and went to the front desk to pay for the week, but was informed that it had already been taken care of by a card registered to Gene Simmons. At least Dean had my back there. I was frustrated and angry. Dean was lying to Sam about where I was and what I was doing; and he apparently didn’t trust me enough to let me know what was going on either. At the same time, I missed him like crazy, and wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, and feel his warmth. In more ways than one, I was in Hell.

When the door knocked the morning after, I sprang out of bed, and quickly got dressed in jeans and my tank-top, to finally yell at the maid to go Heaven, because we were already in Hell; and I wanted her far, far away. I yanked open the door, and enraged look on my face; when I immediately let out a sigh of relief at the man in front of me.

Dean looked exhausted. He had dark circles around his eyes, and he was healing from some bruises to his jaw. I grabbed a hold of his jacket collar, and pulled him close – throwing my arms around his neck – and kissed him. “I drove all night”, he rasped. “I’m so sorry, Lou…”. “Shut up, and come in”, I said, and breathed in his scent; before pulling him inside. Dean looked around the room. “Wow… you really did go to Hell”, he grunted. “Does this place even take HBO?”. “The tv doesn’t work”, I muttered. “What happened? The truth, Dean. I can’t deal with lies right now”.

Dean scrunched up his brows. “I don’t know what to tell you… What happened with Metatron?”, he asked. I shrugged, still confused. “He was… weird”. “They tend to be”, Dean smirked. “Yeah but… The way he touched me… Then he wanted me to stand with him, and look at the angels falling. Witness, he said…”. Dean’s eyes fell to the ground. “He said that?”, he grunted. “Witness…”. “Yeah… Does that mean anything to you?”. Dean cleared his throat, and shook his head. “No. Nothing. Probably just weird angel talk… you know how they can be”. His expression was unreadable.

“Did they all fall? Where are they?”, I asked. “We think so… It seems Metatron tricked Cass into locking up Heaven…”, Dean muttered. “Holy crap…”, I gasped. “How is Sam?”, I muttered, walking over to make the bed – feeling strangely vulnerable. “We ended the trials… stopped before he could finish”, he said. “They were killing him…”. “Is he ok?”, I gulped. I couldn’t bear the thought of my friend hurt. “He’s getting there. I have someone working on it”.

I went to turn on the brewer for coffee. Dean knew my routine, and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet under the counter. I scratched my head. “I can’t stay here. I have none of my things with me. I can’t even hunt”. Dean narrowed his eyes. “Right…”, he said; before leaving the room for a moment – coming back with my backpack, and a duffle. “I brought some stuff”. He brought the bags over to the table, and set them down there.

“Looks like you’re kicking me out of the bat-cave permanently”, I grunted. “How can you think that?”, Dean exclaimed. “You know I want you with me… I practically begged you to move in to the bunker permanently, while you were doing everything to get away from it”. “I wasn’t”, I whispered; a tear escaping my eye. “I just needed to… do something for myself. Have something of my own, that I earned, and worked for”.

“That why you took that job?”, he asked. I nodded. “How did it go?”. “It didn’t…”, I said. “Pete turned up. I couldn’t stay there”. “Pete”, Dean sneered. “Don’t know which one of those dicks I hate more – him or Metatron”. “You don’t know Pete. He’s just a guy”. “He’s a douche…”, he grunted. “The man listens to Nickelback!”. I couldn’t help but chuckle, and wiped my eyes. Dean stroked my cheek. “Yeah… I don’t know what I was thinking”, I whispered.

Dean’s eyes travelled to my arm, which was still sporting faint bruises from my encounter with my ex. He lifted the arm gingerly, and ran his fingers over the now mostly purplish mark. “I’m gonna rip his lungs out!”, he growled. “Please, just leave it alone”, I croaked. “It’s over”. “He hurt you!”, Dean roared. “No more than I would have hurt him, if Metatron hadn’t stepped in”, I said. Dean raised a brow at me. “If I see him again, he’s dead”, he proclaimed. I tugged at his jacket, and pulled myself closer to him; feeling his tense body relax against me. He lowered his face to me, and kissed me gently; stroking my temple. “I’m sorry”. “Stop saying that, and show me what you brought”, I said.

Dean went back over to the table, and began pulling things of the bags. “Bobby’s… your journal”, he muttered. “Gooferdust – remember to use it whenever you check in somewhere new. Iron knife, silver knife… A jar of dead man’s blood, and some syringes…”. “Everything a working girl needs in her purse”, I jested. “And my clothes?”. “Kevin packed it up”, Dean said. “Huh… you let the teenage prophet go through my underwear?”, I smirked. Dean paused for a second. “I didn’t think that through”, he grunted. “Oh, and this…”. He handed me a small drugstore bag. I looked inside. “You got my shade!”, I smiled, and pulled out the lipstick. He chuckled. “Of course I did”.

I picked up a sawn-off shotgun. “So, you’re good with me hunting all of a sudden?”, I asked. He took the gun from my hands, and demonstrated the use. “Sam already showed me”, I smirked. “Of course he did…”, Dean grunted. “No, I’m not. But it’s your choice… And you’re… actually kind of ok at it”. I pouted playfully. “Aww… thanks”. I put down the shotgun. “Really…”.

We stood for a moment. “I hate this…”, Dean said. “What, awkward silence?”, I muttered. “No… leaving you out here alone”. He frowned deeply. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to…”. “Bake you pies in my underwear, while you save the world?”, I smirked. Dean’s eyes glazed over for a moment, as he pictured the sight. He cleared his throat. “I mean, that would be fine by me”, he muttered. “But no. I wanted to train you. Make sure you were ready, before you finally realized you were crazy for staying with me, and ran off on bigger and better adventures” I smiled crookedly. “That was never gonna happen”, I said. “I’m not that smart”.

There was a knock at the door. “Housekeeping!”, a voice called out. I almost snarled. “What’s wrong?”, Dean asked. “Just the most dedicated maid I’ve ever met”, I sneered. I went to open the door, before the maid could let herself in. The woman’s eyes were as intense as always; if not more so. She attempted a smile, but it came out fake.

“It’s not a good time. I have company”, I said. “I’m just… making my rounds, miss”, the maid said. “I’d like to clean your room now, if you don’t mind”. Dean came up behind me. “She minds. It’s not a good time”. I saw a sheen of blue light in the maid’s eyes. It sent a jolt through me, and my heart skipped a beat. “You should go… now”, I croaked. “I’m afraid I can’t do that”, the maid said, her eyes locked sternly on Deans face. “I have to do my job. And he should not be here”. Dean pushed me behind him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”, he grunted. The maid moved her eyes to me. I felt a rush of blood to my head, as the light in her eyes intensified, and an aura of intense power pulsed from her. Suddenly, I recognized her – I’d never met her before – but I somehow knew, if not her, then at least what she was. “Angel…”, I rasped.

Dean grabbed his own angel blade from his inner pocket. He broadened his stance; shielding me. “Leave!”, he growled. Behind him, I went for my own blade, which I’d kept under my pillow. I quietly walked over the wall behind the door, and cut into my hand; letting it bleed. “You think I want to be here? This place… even the name of it is an offence to me”, the maid sneered. “But the witness must be protected. For now”. I began drawing with my blood on the wall. “She doesn’t need your protection”, Dean snarled. “You think you can protect her? From us?”, the maid smiled. “If we wanted her dead, she would be! Leave this place, Dean Winchester. Or I will not answer for the consequences”.

“Dean…”, I muttered. He looked back at me, and the sigil I’d drawn on the wall. He nodded, and I touched it with my bleeding hand. The angel-maid screamed out, and with a blaze of light, she disappeared. “Get your things!”, Dean growled. We scrambled to gather my bags; and I followed him out to the Impala, throwing my belongings in the back seat.

Dean jumped in behind the wheel, and I got in next to him. “How did you know?”, he snarled. “What?”, I asked. “How did you know she was an angel?” I shook my head, and held on to the dashboard as Dean swerved around a corner, and sped down the road. “I… just did. It was like I recognized her”. “You met her before?”, Dean snapped. He sped over a bump, making me jostle in my seat. “No, Dean. Could you please slow down? You’re scaring me!”. Dean clenched his jaw. “You recognized her? As an angel…”. “Yeah…”, I croaked; afraid to meet his eyes. Dean took a deep breath. “She used that word… witness. You… witnessed with Metatron. Right?”. “That’s what he said”, I muttered. “Why are you angry with me?”. “I’m not”, he sighed. He pulled out his phone and dialed up a number, putting it on speaker.

“Hello?”, Kevin’s voice answered. “Kevin!”, Dean growled. “what was that thing you read on the angel tablet a while back… about a witness”. “Hi Kevin”, I said, chiding Dean with my eyes for his poor social skills on the phone. “Hi… Lulu. Hey. I’m good. It’s cool”. “Kevin, stop flirting, and tell us!”, Dean snarled. I frowned at him. “Right. Yeah… it was something along the lines of ‘with the fall a witness will be chosen; and it will come to know them all by their grace’… I couldn’t figure out if it was witness or keeper”, Kevin said. Deans eyes widened. “Keeper of what?”, I asked. “I… don’t know. I was focused on other parts of the tablet at that point”. “Right. Thanks Kev’… and keep this between us”, Dean said, and hung up.

A thousand thoughts went through my head. “I’m a witness”, I said. “The witness. You can see angels, even as they hide in their vessels”, Dean grunted. “I was afraid of this, when you told me about what that winged bag of dicks did. I just wasn’t sure”. “Is that why I can’t come back?”, I asked quietly. Dean clenched his jaw. “I can’t have you around Sam… It’s not safe”. “For whom? Me or Sam?”, I grunted. “I’m not sure… I did what I had to”, Dean breathed. “He’s my brother”. “What did you do…?”, I said; my voice trembling and deep. “I… can’t tell you. Please just trust that it’s for the best if you stay away”.

I swallowed hard. “So what happens now? Are we… over?”. His eyes widened, and he grabbed my hand. “No! No, Lou… I just need… we need time for Sam to heal. Completely”, he said. Dean squeezed my hand tightly. “I swear I’ll tell you everything, when the time is right”, he declared. “I’m bringing you to a place I know. It’s a cabin. Warded”. “Ok…”, I croaked. He looked at me, trying for softness. “It’ll be ok”. He didn’t sound convinced; and his face was tense as he dialed another number on his phone. “Sam… Lulu’s in a bit deep here. I’m gonna need to stick around for another day or so… No, don’t worry, we’ll be fine… Yeah, ok. See you in Colorado”. I frowned at him again. “Why are you lying to your brother?”, I grunted. “He can’t see you right now. And you can’t see him. It’s how it has to be”. “He’s my friend”, I said bellow my breath. “Then you want him safe. Just go with me on this”, Dean demanded.

We drove for a good 4 hours, before I noticed Dean struggling. He was frowning and an angry pout formed on his lips. “You’re tired”, I said. “We should pull over”. “No”, he shook his head. “We need to get to Montana as soon as we can”. He sighed, and looked at me from the corner of his eyes. “Screw it. Can you drive for a while?” My jaw dropped. “I’m… yeah. Of course”.

Dean halted at the next gas-station we could find, and filled up the car. I got out of the car as he came back outside from the shop. He held up the keys with a worried expression. “She’s strong… but be gentle with her. Please?”. I smiled softly, and kissed his cheek. “I’ll treat her like my own”. “Yeah, I saw your Ford those years back. Pardon me for not taking that as a good omen”. He put the keys in my hand, and held them there. “Dean?”, I said. “Yeah?”, he muttered. “You’re gonna have to let go”, I smiled. He almost winced as his fingers left my hand.

I got behind the wheel, and Dean got in to sit next to me. “Don’t change my presets”, he grunted. “Go to sleep”, I said. “I got it”. I started up the Impala, and felt her purr under my touch. “Hi, baby. I’m back”, I smirked. Dean cursed under his breath.

---

We took turns driving; pulling over a few times to gas up; and at least three times for Dean to yell at me for either driving too fast, or for passing other cars too closely. All three times ended with me threatening to hitchhike the rest of the way; and Dean apologizing by pressing his lips to mine. In the end we made it to a cabin in Whitefish, Montana, the day after.

“This is Rufus’ old cabin”, Dean said, as he carried my bags in for me. “You’ll be safe here. Use it as headquarters if you want. I need you to stay away from anything angelic or demonic from here on out… If you insist on hunting, stick with ghosts; easy ones…”. He sent me a look. “Please”.

He put his arms around me. He seemed weaker than usual; not just tired, but mentally drained. “What’s wrong?”, I whispered; leaning my head against his shoulder. “Talk to me”. Dean shook his head. “I can’t… I want to, believe me”. “You don’t trust me?”, I croaked. “With my life, and my car…”, he said poignantly; putting his hand on my cheek. I narrowed my eyes at him. “But…?”. “You can’t be around Sam right now. You just can’t. Not until I know for sure that it’s safe… Or Sam is ok again”. “What’s that supposed to mean?”, I grunted. “You’re not making sense. What happened with him back there?”. Dean ran his hand over his face. “I know it’s… confusing. But he’s in real danger”. I grabbed a hold of his jacket; clenching it in my fist. “How is this gonna work?”, I asked. “Are you going to run all over the country with your sick brother; and whenever you have a spare 24 hours, I can see you?”. He sighed. “I don’t have that much time… I have to get to Colorado”.

I sighed and put my hand behind his head, to avoid him pulling away: and kissed him deeply. I needed him as much as I knew he needed me. “Just stay a little while”, I breathed.

---

#dean winchester #dean winchester x oc #dean winchester fic #dean x oc #sam winchester #Castiel #supernatural fic #supernatural

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minimin1993 · 5 years

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B/L 29

Warning: Violence.

By the time they landed in Siberia, Linda started to strap up with her old gears that was still on the jet.

“You guys never removed me.” Linda said silently.

“How can we, you were my right hand woman. I was simply waiting for you to come back.” Steve said patting her back before walking over to the opening hanger door standing next to Bucky.

“You remember that time we had to ride back from Rockaway Beach in the back of that freezer truck?” Steve asks looking at Bucky

“ Was that the time we used our train money to buy hot dogs?”

“ You blew three bucks trying to win that stuffed bear for a redhead.” Steve said making Linda giggle.

“Freakin Casanova.” Linda said shaking her head.

“ You still agreed to marry me.” Bucky said smirking at Linda making her playfully roll her eyes. “What was her name again?” He asks looking at Steve

“Dolores. You called her Dot.”

“ She's gotta be a hundred years old right now.”

“ So are we, pal.” Steve said clamping his hand on Bucky's shoulder.

“Excuse me I am actually older than a hundred.” Linda said.

“Technically Luna is, you are barely 100.” Steve said with a smirk on his face.

“He’s right.” Bucky said winking at her.

Steve walks with Bucky and Linda up to the entrance set in rock to find the door is still open.

“ He can't have been here more than a few hours.” Steve said “Long enough to wake them up.”

Steve leads them into the cast bunker traveling down into the depths inside a caged elevator, it stops in the bowels of the bunker, doors slide open. Linda conjures her whip ready for an attack as they walk down the corridor. When they walk up the stairs, they heard a door open behind them causing them all to turn weapons ready at the noise.

“ You ready?” Steve asks

“ Yeah.” Bucky and Linda said in unison.

The door then parts force open by Tony, Linda and Steve stares at him in surprise watching him walk towards them before his suit helmet opens up “You seem a little defensive.” Tony said “It's been a long day.” Steve said walking towards him with his shield covering his body. “At ease, Soldier. I'm not currently after you.” “Then why are you here?” Linda asks “Could be your story's not so crazy. Maybe. Ross has no idea I'm here. I'd like to keep it that way. Otherwise, I gotta arrest myself.”

“ Well, that sounds like a lot of paperwork.” Steve said lowering his shield. “It's good to see you, Tony.”

“ You too, Cap. Hey, Manchurian Candidate, you're killing me. There's a truce here. You can drop . . .” Tony said pointing to Bucky’s gun which was still pointing at him. Linda places her hand on his shoulder as he lowers his gun. Now with Tony on their team the 4 of them starts to explore the corridor together.

“ I got heat signatures.” Tony said as he scans the area with his suit

“How many?” Steve asks “Uh, one.”

They enter the vast chamber the lights come on. Hazy, yellow mist descends within the capsules.

“ If it's any comfort, they died in their sleep. Did you really think I wanted more of you?” Zemo said, Bucky looks inside one of the capsales seeing a single bullet straight in their head.

“ What the hell?” Bucky whispers.

“I'm grateful to them, though. They brought you here.” Zemo said turning on the light in the control room. Steve throws his shield hitting the window but flies right back without any damage. “Please, Captain. The Soviets built this chamber to withstand the launch blast of UR-100 rockets.”

“ I'm betting I could beat that.” Tony said “Oh, I'm sure you could, Mr. Stark. Given time. But then you'd never know why you came.”

“ You killed innocent people in Vienna just to bring us here?” Steve asks as they walk right up to the window.

“ I thought about nothing else for over a year. I studied you. I followed you. But now that you're standing here, I just realized . . . there's a bit of green in the blue of your eyes. How nice to find a flaw.”

“ You're Sokovian. Is that what this is about?”

“ Sokovia was a failed state long before you blew it to hell. No. I'm here because I made a promise.”

“ You lost someone?” Linda said realizing what happened.

“ I lost everyone. And so will you.” Zemo said playing a surveillance footage from December 16th 1991. “An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again. But one which crumples from within? That's dead . . . forever.”

“ I know that road. What is this?” Tony said once he walks over to the screen along with Linda who already knows what was on the tap since it was a memory she saw from Bucky. Linda closes her eyes tearing listening to her once beloved friend Howard get his face bashed in before hearing the cries of his wife next to him. When the video stops Linda steps in front of Bucky between him and Tony before Tony prepares to lunge at Bucky.

“Tony. Tony.” Steve said holding Tony back.

“ Did you know?” Tony asked looking Steve.

“ I didn't know it was him.” “Don't bullshit me, Rogers! Did you know?”

“ Yes.”

“Linda? How can you? You even knew my father.” Tony said.

“He had no control of it Tony. I’m sorry.”

Tony steps back, his chin jutting upwards twitchy before he reengages the Iron Man helmet and punches Steve away. Linda flicks her whip onto Tony arm constraining him but he activated a booster flinging Linda away from Bucky. He then grabs Bucky and flies across the chamber, slams him onto the floor holding down his arms preparing to blast him but Steve tosses his Shield at Tony distracting him before running into him with his shield sending him off Bucky. Tony turns around sending shackles to lock onto Steve legs. Bucky punches Tony who just lifts him and slams him against a machine. Iron Man raises a hand preparing to fire but Bucky twists it destroying the mechanism. A rocket shoots out of Iron Man's arm, but Bucky turns it away from him as it blasts the machine in the lab instead. Linda conjures her second whip and whips them both onto Tony arms pulling them back dropping Bucky before the piller twists and falls around them

“ Get out of here!” Steve said to Bucky.

Bucky bolts Iron Man fires toward him but Linda appears behind Bucky deflecting the shots before Steve lands in front of her. She turns to follow Bucky who hits a control panel and the silo-styled door overhead starts to open. Tony flies up with Jet boot kicking Bucky to the side preparing to shoot him again but Linda whips her whip grabbing onto his arm yanking it downward smashing him onto the lower floor. Linda jumps over to help Bucky up before Steve catches up to them.

“He's not going to stop. Go.” Steve said looking down at Tony before Linda and Bucky runs again, when they were almost at the top Tony blasts the giant hinge holding the hatch destroying it as it slams shut knocking Linda and Bucky down. Bucky got up before Linda grabs a metal pipe to swing at Tony but he blocks it before grabbing Bucky neck from behind choking him.

“Do you even remember them?” Tony whispers

“ I remember all of them.”

Bucky pushes them both from the walkway dropping them off when Linda whips her whip trying to hold them up but Tony fires a blaster right at her causing her to fall as well. Steve jumps into them to deflect their fall, Bucky lands on a platform while Tony, Steve, and Linda land on the concrete floor multiple floors down knocking the wind out of them. Linda tries to stand up but couldn't because a nasty gash on her side and a few misplaced ribs from the blast Tony sent to her. She pulls herself onto the wall waiting for it to regenerate when Steve stands up.

“ This isn't gonna change what happened.” Steve said looking up at Tony who also stood up.

“I don't care. He killed my mom.” Tony said before flying over and punches Steve, they exchanged a couple hit before Tony pins Steve down punching him. Bucky notices Steve Shield near him and picks it up before leaping down to help. Linda whimpers pushing her ribs back into place, as the two super soldiers fist fight with Iron Man the shield changes hands between them until Tony manages to zap Steve who is thrown back into the wall near Linda. Bucky struggles to hold Iron Man at bay as he unleashes an energy beam, then he forces Iron Man against the opposite wall. He grips the glowing core in the chest of the Iron Man Suit until Tony sends a blast of energy knocks Bucky down, metal arm completely blown away, Tony zaps him again knocking him out on the floor. Steve rushes him with his shield up and Iron Man fires right at it before Steve punches Tony back against the wall and goes to town on Tony. After a few seconds, Tony starts to see Steves fighting pattern and starts to counterattack on Steve points where it counts knocking on his knees in front of Bucky.

“He's my friend.” Steve said

“ So was I.” Tony said punching Steve before throwing him away from barns. “Stay down. Final warning.” “I can do this all day.” Steve said struggling to stand up.

Linda stares at Bucky who was unconscious on the floor and something inside her snapped. Linda/Luna stood up and waves both her hands up glowing blue before she blasts Tony with all her might, Tony puts his hands up trying to block the blast but couldn’t feeling his suit getting fried knocking him over before she lands right on top of him punching his mask until it falls off. She stares at Tony who has a shock look on his face before she prepares her glowing hands for a final blow before she hits his suits core draining all its powers.

“I’m sorry.” Linda/Luna said before she grabs her head screaming in pain stumbling off of him before falling on her knees near Bucky. Steve was about to rush over to her but Bucky crawls himself over to her.

“Linda… whats wrong?” He whispered painfully not knowing what is wrong until she opens her eyes and see it flicker from black to normal.

“Linda… I’m.. losing her…” Luna said before passing out.

#bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes #sebastian stan #sebastian x reader #steve rogers #the first avenger #originl character #chris evans #original character #winter solider x you #winter soldier #captain america #infinity war #marvel

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erlenmeyertrash · 7 years

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Doorways, Part 2

hope you guys like it!

(words: 2252 | pairings: none | cw: self-loathing, negative talk, slight food mention)

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR

Virgil stared.

And stared.

Narrowed his eyes. Stared some more.

The door- well. It didn’t do anything. Because.

Y’know.

It’s a door.

Virgil sighed, throwing himself dramatically back into his desk chair and landing his boots on the desk with a thud. He glanced at the door again.

He had a problem with his door.

It was positioned in his room in the exact spot of Roman’s “doorway to a distant land-” but instead of some majestic, towering thing, his was just… a closet door. Stark white, plain white trim, brass knob. Honestly? It was the kind of entryway you’d pull right out of a horror movie- the unassuming door that held the monster hiding in the closet, waiting until the witching hour to sneak out and terrorize the innocent, sleeping child. (Or so a young Virgil had told himself long ago, late at night, clinging to the sheets of his bed in terror.)

When they had all entered Patton’s room together for the Moving On videos, he had gotten a sneak peek at Patton’s door in the corner. It was a light golden, wooden door, with a pretty stained glass piece in the center and an ornate handle; on either side were two large, frosted-glass windows, and in front of it lay a welcome mat. Oh, Virgil had realized after staring at it momentarily. It was the epitome of a suburban home’s front door- it probably led to an adorable little house with a back porch and a white picket fence and a little garden and two young kids and a well-trained golden retriever. Patton’s door definitely held a house where he could cook heart-shaped pancakes every morning and decorate the halls with family photos to his heart’s content. The kids were probably Thomas’ ideal imaginary children, too- well-mannered and sweet but also energetic and happy and everything a parent could want.

Although Virgil hadn’t yet entered Logan’s room, the logical side often left his door ajar- he was too preoccupied with scheduling and studying and other adventures of intellect to bother closing it most of the time. Through it, Virgil had seen Logan’s own door- or rather, seen the enormous NASA insignia across the Star Trek-esque sliding metal contraption. It probably led to a high-tech chemistry lab or enormous university lecture hall, but Virgil wouldn’t put it past him if it led to an actual spaceship.

All of the extravagance and, well, personality ingrained into their own doors made Virgil… not embarrassed by his own lackluster otherworldly portal- just slightly disappointed. It was totally unassuming and hinted nothing at what possibly lay behind it.

...which was another thing.

Virgil had never actually opened his other door.

Since Patton’s led to an adorable little home where he could play Dad, and Logan’s led to a conjuring of the epitome of educational excellence, and Roman’s led to any world his creative mind could possibly dream up… well, Virgil’s probably just led to a pitch-black, never-ending cavern with Thomas’ worst and wildest fears lived out at every corner. Opening Virgil’s door would be like opening Pandora’s Box and letting out everything Thomas had wanted boarded up in his mind, never to be seen again. Virgil figured too much was at risk to even bother peeking inside- so his door was permanently left untouched and unopened. It was better that way.

Sighing, Virgil untied his shoes and crawled onto his bed, giving his door one last glare- Why can’t you hold something good and non-terrifying?!- before opening his laptop and logging into his Netflix account. Surprisingly (it was only 1 in the morning, after all), it didn’t take him long to nod off, the sounds of the B-horror movie quietly filtering through the speakers until it ended.

Virgil woke up the next morning and just… knew.

Being Thomas’ anxiety- and usually getting tossed the rest of his negative emotions- he was often subject to the whims of complex biochemistry. Thomas’ moods, like anyone’s, could ebb and flow dramatically for deeply subconscious reasons; sometimes Virgil was exactly aware of the cause, and sometimes he wasn’t. This was an example of the latter. He could tell Thomas was at risk of not feeling great today- and that meant he needed to lay low and let Patton and Roman do the fixing. He’d stop by for breakfast to appease the fatherly side, then hole up in his room until the mood passed. Hopefully Thomas randomly seeing a dog or something could wipe up the mess quickly.

Virgil reached for his laptop, which thankfully hadn’t been thrown off the bed after he had fallen asleep, and plugged it into the charger before heading to the bathroom to throw some water and eyeshadow on his face. He pulled at the strings of his jacket slightly to even them out before sluggishly heading down the hall.

Please, please, please don’t let Roman be too ridiculous today, he pleaded silently. He just needed a quiet morning of coffee. No wild adventures, no crazy pancake batter spills, no overdramatic yelling, no standing on the breakfast table… just a peaceful, quiet breakfast. ...Please.

“Hey Virgil!” Patton beamed brightly at him as he walked in. Patton was easy to forgive for his slightly-overbearing nature; Virgil knew it was always well-intended. “How ya doin’, kiddo?”

He gave a noncommittal shrug. “Not too great this morning, Patton,” he mumbled. Patton frowned.

“Aw, that’s no good! How ‘bout some pancakes to cheer you up?”

“I’m just gonna have a cup of coffee this morning. Not too hungry. But thanks, Patton,” he added, offering a brief smile to the other side. Patton accepted his smile, seeing Virgil was being genuine and offering real effort where he could, and turned back to the pan. Virgil reached for the pot of coffee, blinking when he saw it was already half-full. He turned to see he had missed Logan, already quietly sipping at a coffee at the table, eyes devouring a book.

No Roman in sight. Virgil sighed, content, turning back to grab a mug from the cupboard.

“Goooood MORNING, my lovely companions!” a voice boomed. Virgil flinched, nearly dropping the cup he had grabbed off the shelf. Even Patton jumped slightly next to him, whirling around as Roman waltzed into the room, eyes alight.

“Good morning, Roman! Pancakes?”

“Why, that sounds lovely, Chef Patton! I’ll have three of your finest- extra chocolate chips, if I may request so. I went on quite the adventure this past evening, and I’ve got the appetite to show for it!”

Virgil groaned inwardly, pouring the coffee into his cup and taking a long sip. This was about to be an insufferable breakfast.

Maybe Patton and Roman starting off in such good moods will help Thomas feel better, his brain suggested. Virgil snorted into his cup before quietly agreeing. Lay low, lay low, lay low. Just sit and listen until it’s acceptable to leave.

He slumped into his chair as Roman pretended to dust the table in front of him clean. He leaned over, invading Logan’s space, and peered at his book with a dramatically perplexed expression.

“What have we here, Megamind? Revising a chemistry textbook again?”

“Actually, it’s a new book Thomas picked up the other day when he was out with his friends. I’m re-reading the last bits to help him better understand the foreshadowing that occurs later-”

“Sounds utterly droll.” Roman leaned back in his chair, kicking his boots up on the table. “Why not make up your own story?”

“Well, we can’t all be amazing storytellers like you!” Patton piped up, bringing two steaming plates of pancakes over. Roman swiped his feet off the table, chair clattering forward as he grinned at his breakfast.

“Oh! Speaking of! I have the best story from last night!” He shoved a piece of pancake in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. “Now, where to start…”

“May I suggest the beginning?” Logan interjected, raising an eyebrow without raising his head from the book. Virgil grinned into his coffee cup as Patton laughed. Roman gave the logical side a look but ignored his comment. Patton sat down across from Logan, taking his own bite of pancake.

“It was a dark, stormy night-”

“Wow, purple prose before the story’s even started. Creds, Princey.” Virgil smirked. “I appreciate the shoutout.”

Roman frowned. “What are you talking about, Stranger Thing?”

“Purple prose,” Logan piped up, glancing over and adjusting his glasses, “is the term for extravagant, highly melodramatic writing that serves to distract readers from the fact that the plot has barely progressed in a story. Your ‘dark and stormy night’ introduction is an oft-quoted and highly popular piece of purple prose, first used by English novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton in his novel Paul Clifford, written in 1830. I also believe Virgil’s last comment was a double reference to a “dark and stormy night” reflecting not only a cliche story introduction, but also his lightning bolt logo and generally ‘dark’ persona- if you will- and the use of the word “purple” to describe your phrase as well as the main color of his aesthetic.” He stopped, looking over at Virgil. “Did I get that right?”

“..in about five times as many words. Yes.” Virgil rolled his eyes.

Roman just stared at the both of them before beaming at Patton. “Can you believe we’re related to these two?”

“Technically, we’re not related, we are simply-”

“ANYWAYS! It was nighttime and rain was pouring from the night sky, covered with ominous clouds, making it too dark to see a thing; I had my trusty, magic dagger to light the way-”

“-he means a glowstick-”

“Silence!” Roman cried, pointing his fork at Virgil, who curled his lip. “This story has one narrator, thank you very much. As I was saying-” he turned to Patton, who was still staring excitedly. “Trusty dagger in hand, I was headed down a never-before-explored path, deep into the forest.”

“At night? In the rain? How illogical.” Logan snorted, and Virgil beamed at Roman’s enraged face. It looked like Logan was on his team this round, which helped lift his sour mood ever so slightly.

As Roman ignored him and pressed on, Virgil let the storyteller’s voice fade to the back of his mind. He stared blankly into his slowly-draining coffee cup and occasionally glanced at Logan and Patton’s reactions to the prince’s latest wild adventure. The swirling feeling around him wouldn’t relent; it was a fog that easily dodged his internal poking and prodding. He was trying to figure out if there was a reason for it he couldn’t yet see. Through his connection to Thomas, he could tell the mood seemed to be clearing in reality. That helped calm Virgil slightly- at least Thomas would be okay- but his own independent stormcloud made no move to recede.

Virgil took another sip and looked back up at the other three. His eyes were slightly unfocused, Roman’s voice landing in his ears but the words not quite connecting. The theatrical side was waving one hand wildly around the room before he lowered it dramatically and glanced around, signifying a dramatic twist in the story. Logan had dog-eared his book and was staring at Roman, eyes narrowed as if trying to deduce what would happen next before Roman could even say it. Patton was leaning over his plate, pancakes forgotten, totally enthralled. The sleeves of his cardigan hung dangerously close to his syrup-covered plate, and his eyes sparkled with excitement and apprehension.

Suddenly, it hurt. So bad Virgil could barely stand it. They all got to be here each day, advocating the parts of Thomas they represented- the good ones. Patton could be cheery and caring and make pancakes and gush over stories. Logan could interject with his bits of brilliance, entertaining everybody with his vast knowledge. Roman, ever the centerpiece, ever the main attraction, could hold the others’ rapt attention as he wove worlds with his words over syrupy pancakes like it was commonplace. And Virgil-

What could he do?

If he showed his strengths, he would strike fear into their hearts. He would bring darkness to their days- make them question every decision they had planned, doubt every path they headed down. They were all sunshine- even Logan. Virgil was the dark cloud looming on the horizon, the bite of cold in the air. There was nothing he could do about it. This was his one and only purpose, and he hated it. He didn’t ask for this.

He abruptly stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. Roman stumbled over his words and looked up in shock; Patton jumped at the sudden noise, and Logan glanced over in surprise. Virgil wordlessly grabbed his empty coffee cup and headed over to the sink.

“Wh- Virgil! What’s wrong?” Patton asked, turning in his chair, worry showing in the lines on his forehead and his scrunched-up nose.

“Don’t you want to hear the rest of my story?!” Roman cried, leaning over. Virgil hunched his shoulders.

“Don’t feel like hearing about the death of yet another villain today, Princey. My sincerest apologies, but- you know how it is. Fallen brethren and all that. Hard to stomach. Come get me when you can think of a better plot twist than pulling out a dagger instead of a sword.” His voice was more choked-up than he’d care to admit. Virgil hunched his shoulders and stalked out of the room, not bothering to listen for them to try and call him back.

A/N: yeah... i’m sorry. virgil’s gonna be sad here :( BUT. it will get better. so much better. you have no idea i’m so excited

comments, critiques, or even those long trains of ‘wHaT tHe hEcK’ tags (so characteristic of myself tbh) are always appreciated!!

#sanders sides #mine #doorways #virgil #patton #logan #roman #lil bit of angst but that's alright

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dust2dust34 · 7 years

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Pieces of Always: January 2025 (FICoN ‘verse)

Life continues after Forever is Composed of Nows.

by @so-caffeinated and @dust2dust34

Summary: Jules' tenth birthday brings a few surprising moments for her and Felicity.

An ongoing non-linear collection of family moments for the Queens. (You do not need to have read FiCoN to enjoy this, but it will spoil the end. Please see the first installment for additional author notes. Thank you @jsevick and @alizziebyanyothername for the amazing beta!)

A/N: Please see the first chapter for an important Author’s Note, as well as under the cut for an additional one.

A/N: The effervescent @so-caffeinated is fully in the driver’s seat and she’s kicking all the ass, so please go send her your love!

(read on AO3)

January 2025 - More Than A Thousand Words

She should be reviewing proposals from the marketing department. That’s what Felicity should be doing right now. But today is one of those rare days where Felicity pushes her obligations aside, ignores her ever-present workload and turns her phone on silent.

It’s a Tuesday, but she’s taken the day off work - like really off work, not even work-from-home work is happening. Nate’s been down for a rare nap for a bit and the girls are still at school. So, in spite of all the things she should be doing, Felicity’s curled up in the armchair in her office at home with a tablet in her hands, replaying some of the most important moments of her life.

“Hi Momma!” Ellie’s voice calls out as the front door slams. Felicity jolts, looking to the clock and finding it a whole half hour later than she’d assumed. Time goes by so fast while you aren’t looking.

Ever a ball of energy, the blonde little girl appears in the open doorway bouncing on the balls of her feet as Felicity puts the tablet down and stands up to greet her. “I asked Frank to stay for cake, but he said he’s too worried that maybe you cooked it so he doesn’t wanna. He’s coming with Grandma Donna this weekend for the party, though, because I promised Daddy was baking. But Sara said any cake is worth the risk, so she’s staying. Can she and I go play in the fairy castle out back, pretty please with fairy dust on top?”

Felicity pauses at that and quirks her head to the side as she watches her younger daughter’s dramatic, toothy grin. Sara Diggle appears right behind her wearing an identical smile.

“Pleeeeeease Aunt Felicity?” Sara asks, batting those huge brown eyes of hers. As if she’d been going to say no.

“Sure,” she agrees. “Nate’s asleep, though. Don’t slam the door. Okay? And you, my birthday girl,” she says as Jules also joins the group of young girls, “how was your day, my ten-year-old?”

Jules’ eyes light up at the question and her cheeks flush as she smiles thinly and shrugs one shoulder. “Okay,” she replies. “I had art and library today. I found a book with a dog that looks like Buster and Mrs. Nelms, the librarian, said she thought I’d really like it.”

Ellie and Sara have scampered off toward the back yard. They wholly ignore the command to not slam the door, but it hardly matters because Buster has realized his girl is home and he bounds noisily through the house until he barrels right into Jules. He immediately jumps up, putting both front paws on her shoulders and whining as he licks at her face, tail wagging wildly. You’d think he hadn’t seen her in a month. It’s like this every single day.

“Down, Buster,” Felicity scolds. But it’s half-hearted at best because Jules laughs and kisses the mutt soundly on the top of his head. She loves this dog more than anything in the whole world and even if Felicity really wishes behavioral training would stick better with him, she also doesn’t really want to scold the pup today. He makes Jules so very happy.

“I missed you, too, boy!” Jules tells him as he nuzzles against her desperate for her attention. It’s sort of a miracle he doesn’t just knock her down. It feels like he’s grown even faster than Jules has. “Down, though. Down, Buster.”

Of course, he listens to her. He sits sharply at attention, tail thumping against the wood floor as he looks up at her adoringly. Felicity shakes her head at the sight. It’s not that the dog can’t understand direction, it’s that he only listens to Jules. Ever.

“That’s my good boy,” Jules tells him, scratching behind his ear. If a dog could preen, he would be. He’s so utterly delighted at being called a good boy by his girl. “Can Buster have cake, too? It’s basically his birthday, too, since I adopted him two years ago.”

Felicity could swear the dog understands her words, because he just stops and stares at her, both he and Jules wearing identical, wide-eyed expressions. ‘Please?’ they say. ‘Please can Buster have a treat?’ It’s absurd.

“The cake’s chocolate, which isn’t good for dogs,” Felicity reminds her. “But… I might have asked Raisa to pick up some of his favorite t-r-e-a-t-s.”

“Yes!” Jules declares cupping the dog’s face and ruffling his fur with excitement. The dog is thrilled, even if he clearly doesn’t know why. It doesn’t matter. His girl is happy. That’s all he needs. “You’re gonna have a great dinner tonight, Buster! It’s my party. I’m double-digits, now!”

Oh, wow… that’s… Felicity’s been trying really hard not to think about that all day, but there it is stated plain as day. It seems impossible that she’s ten now, but she is. And, in spite of wanting to make the clock stop, Felicity sort of loves this place they’re at right now. Finally. Things finally feel like they’re on the right track.

Almost a year after finishing chemotherapy, her mom is doing well. Nate’s finally sometimes sleeping in his own bed without complaint. Ellie’s ever-joyful and past that terrifying time when the other Ellie had taken her trip through time. But, most importantly, Jules seems more at peace than any time since she was a toddler. She’s happier, not open exactly, but not closed off anymore either. It feels like everything is moving in the right direction.

A laugh breaks through the sound of Buster noisy licking Jules’ hand and the girl looks up in confusion. “Is someone over?”

“Nope,” Felicity smiles softly. “I was just watching a few old videos. I guess I left them running.”

“Oh…” Jules says, craning her neck. She’s curious, but quiet. Both of these things come as no surprise to Felicity. But she’s gotten a lot better at picking up on her little girl’s nonverbal cues over these last three years, stopped to take in what Jules isn’t saying and hears it as loudly as what she is.

“Come on,” Felicity says with a tilt of her head in invitation as she walks back into her office. She doesn’t wait to see if Jules will follow; She will, but she’ll hesitate if she knows she’s being studied for a reaction. Instead, Felicity grabs her tablet and curls up in her chair again. Sure enough, curiosity gets the best of Jules and soon she’s leaning against the arm of the chair to get a better look at the screen.

“You were huge!” she says in astonishment, blinking her big, blue eyes owlishly in amazement.

Felicity can’t help it. She bursts out laughing immediately. “I really wasn’t, actually,” she corrects. “You were on the small side. I got a lot bigger with Nate.”

“I guess I didn’t notice,” Jules tells her. She’s not looking up, too distracted by the video playing out in front of her. Felicity gets that. It’s a pretty great moment.

“Oliver, how is it possible that you can build a bow out of like… twigs, but a crib gets the best of you?” the Felicity on the tablet laughs. It’s not long after their first Christmas and Hannukah together, not long after Will first started spending some full weekends with them, and they’re both sort of on a giddy high that came along with pieces of their lives together falling into place.

“This has more parts!” Oliver protests. He’s completely surrounded by wooden parts and piles of screws and wooden pins. God, they’re both so young. How were they that young?

“Who took this?” Jules asks. She’s completely entranced, watching as Oliver gives up on the crib, grabbing Felicity instead and tugging her closer. He’s still seated on the floor, still surrounded by the unbuilt crib that will one day house their older daughter, but he’s given up on that for the moment. His attention is wholly on his pregnant girlfriend’s belly.

“Aunt Thea,” Felicity replies, but it’s sort of unnecessary because Thea’s distinctive snort sounds through the tablet a moment later, right as Jules shifts so that she’s sitting on the edge of the armchair rather than leaning on it.

“You’re such a sap, Ollie,” she tells him as he presses his lips to Felicity’s stomach.

“At least my little girl won’t judge me, will you Julie-bug?” he asks. “You’ll love this crib no matter what.”

“She’ll love you no matter what,” Felicity corrects. “Because you’re her daddy. That makes you the most important person in her whole world.”

“She’s awfully important in mine, too,” Oliver points out. He’s on his knees looking up at Felicity, his chin resting against her stomach. Felicity’s got one hand on his cheek and a dreamy kind of look on her face as her other hand rests against the curve of her belly, thumb stroking against the fabric of her shirt like maybe her unborn daughter can feel it.

“Mine, too,” she smiles back.

“God, you guys. I’m getting a toothache here,” Thea declares as the angle changes and the screen momentarily goes black.

“That’s it?” Jules asks. She sounds frustrated and she’s leaned so far over that Felicity just tugs her the rest of the way onto her lap so she can see better. And so that she can enjoy having her daughter on her lap. At ten years old, that’s a rarity these days. Hell, it’s been a rarity with Jules for a long time.

“For that day, yes,” Felicity confirms. “But there’s more coming…. You never wanted to watch these with me before.”

Jules doesn’t say anything to that, just gives a silent nod of admission as she presses her lips together tightly and watches the screen. Buster’s resting his head on her knee, but for once the girl is paying no attention to her dog. The whole of her focus is on the screen in front of her. Felicity’s watched these videos a hundred times. She knows them by heart by now. So, she takes the opportunity to watch her daughter instead.

Especially because she knows what’s coming next.

“Oh!” Jules gasps aloud. She starts to scoot forward, closer to the screen and the scene playing out on it, but Felicity adjusts her hold and tugs the girl back so she can both cuddle and see the picture well.

And oh what a heart-rending picture it is. Jules is just hours old, so very small, and barely awake in her father’s arms as he sings quietly down to her. Love radiates through the screen so strongly that it makes Felicity’s heart swell and her eyes water. The way Oliver loves is beautiful. It always has been. His devotion to his city, to her, to their children, it steals the breath from her lungs and sets her pulse racing. It always has.

“Is that me?” Jules asks. Her voice is so quiet, so in awe and tinged with disbelief.

“It is,” Felicity confirms, brushing Jules’ dark hair behind her ear so she can see her face better. “Ten years ago today. I’m asleep in the bed over there. You can barely see my leg at the bottom. Fourteen hours of labor and you wore me out, kiddo.”

“Fourteen hours?” Jules asks in astonishment, looking up at her. “Did you get… breaks or anything?”

“It doesn’t work like that.” Felicity laughs before acknowledging, “It was a long day, but it was worth it. You’ve always been worth it.”

Jules looks a little stunned by that. She’s never quite believed when her parents have said things like this to her, but she doesn’t scoff or roll her eyes this time. She just chews her lip and looks back to the screen with fresh eyes. Something about that makes hope well up in Felicity’s chest. The idea that Jules isn’t immediately dismissing this, that she might actually accept it, feels like the best present she could have ever asked for.

It’s a sweet, but not particularly long clip and Jules makes a noise of protest when the moment ends. Felicity can’t blame her, because she wishes it weren’t so short, too. It’s such a beautiful moment, Oliver’s singing voice notwithstanding.

“There’s lots more, Julie-bug,” Felicity murmurs, kissing the top of the girl’s head as she relaxes again and the scene fast-forwards just a few hours.

She’ll like this one - Felicity knows she will - and she’s not at all surprised when her little girl lets out a giggle. “Is that Will?” she asks. “He’s so tiny!”

“Same age there as Ellie is now,” Felicity replies, a fondly reminiscent smile pulling at her lips. He had been so tiny, such a good little boy, and he’d been so in awe at this arrival of his baby sister.

“She’s here? Can I see her? Is it okay?” Will is anxious on the screen, an excited, jittery mess. Felicity doesn’t even know who recorded this one because they don’t speak and somehow manage to keep Will, Jules, Felicity and Oliver all in the frame. Something tells her it was Samantha, but she’s far from certain, and if it is then Will is far too enraptured with his baby sister to say anything to his mom.

“You can even hold her, buddy. We just have to be careful. She’s very little,” Oliver tells Will, heading to take the newborn from Felicity’s arms. This was a few days before the postpartum depression had really set in and Felicity wishes she could reach through the screen and warn her younger self, tell her what’s to come and that it’s not her fault, let her know that it’s okay to get the help she needs and it doesn’t mean she’s weak. But life doesn’t work that way and at least in the scene Jules sees now, her mom isn’t crushed by a hollow sense of brokenness.

On the screen, Felicity kisses her newborn’s dark hair and breathes in her unique baby scent. It’s so strong a memory that from ten years later, sitting in her office, Felicity’s pretty sure she can recall it with perfect clarity. The younger version of herself takes her time before handing over the baby to its father, she’s so reluctant to let the newborn go and it’s obvious enough that that same little girl on her lap now can clearly see it. Her eyes grow wide with surprise, but she’s so drawn in that it seems like she’s trying not to even blink for fear of missing this moment.

Oliver wipes at the baby’s mouth and smiles as she gurgles with more alertness than Felicity had expected at the time. She works her little arms out of the loose swaddling, a hospital-provided baby blanket covered in storks, and reaches one hand for her father’s finger, the other going straight to her mouth. She hadn’t sucked her thumb long as a baby - not like Nate or even Ellie - but those first few weeks she’d found comfort in it.

“I’ve got you, sweet girl. You’re okay, Julie-bug,” Oliver tells her softly, rocking her just a little. Her tiny brow is furrowed like she’s trying to figure something out, like she’s unsettled by the change of arms and her own motion through the world. “I’ve got someone very special who wants to meet you.”

Absolute joy spills off of Will’s face. He’d been so nervous just a month or so prior, but those nerves had quickly given way to excitement and he’d never once looked back. But then Will’s loyalty is absolute and his trust is easier won than Jules’ has ever been.

“Sit down, Will,” Oliver tells his oldest, nodding his head toward a small sofa in room. It’s too small, really. Poor Oliver had taken a few short naps on it the day before and his frame hadn’t even come close to fitting on it. But it suits their purposes now and Will scrambles for the sofa as fast as he can, sitting at attention and squaring his shoulders as he holds his arms out stiffly. He’s blindingly excited, but Felicity thinks Oliver might be even moreso. His smile’s a mile wide and there’s so much joy in every single feature. It took her breath away at the time and it still does now.

“You all look so happy…” Jules says. It’s so quiet, so absently stated that Felicity thinks she might not even be aware she said it aloud.

“Oh, Jules… you have no idea,” she tells the girl. There’s a grating heaviness to her voice that surely emphasizes her point and the ten-year-old looks up at her with such raw hopefulness that it cleaves her heart in two. “You’ve owned such a big piece of my heart from the moment I knew you existed, sweetheart.”

Jules’ eyes water visibly and she can’t keep her mother’s gaze, but she holds on harder. She nestles back into Felicity’s embrace and clings to the side of her shirt as she soaks in more of the moment playing out in front of her.

On the tablet, Oliver’s eased himself down next to Will. The little boy is nearly plastered to his father’s side, craning his neck to get a good first look at his baby sister.

“Hiya, Julianna!” Will says, waving at the newborn, as if she could possibly understand that. His half-toothless grin focused entirely on the baby. “I’m Will. I’m your big brother!”

He’s so very proud of the title, had been telling everyone who would listen for weeks and detailing everything he was going to teach his baby sister, all the things they’d one day do together. At the time, Felicity had thought that interest would wane, that he’d tire of the crying or lose interest as she toddled after him. He is seven years older than her, after all. But that had never happened and the relationship Will and Jules have forged over the years is something she could have never expected, but also leaves her with a grateful sense of awe. Felicity never had any siblings, so she doesn’t know for sure, but she thinks that what Jules and Will have is exceptional. She thinks it’s rare and precious, and she really can’t imagine either one without the other at this point.

It’s gentle and slow as Oliver hands his infant daughter off to his son, adjusting his hold and reminding him to support her neck. It takes a moment, but Will gets the hang of it quickly and he’s so very proud of himself once he does, looking up toward where his stepmother is lying in the bed watching on.

“I got it!” he declares triumphantly. “See Felicity? I’ve got her!”

“You do,” she replies, the smile on her face barely visible from the angle of the camera.

“Hi Jules! Hiya!” Will says again excitedly. Jules smacks her lips at him and grabs his thumb in her tiny fingers, gripping for all she’s worth. “She’s really strong!”

She blows bubbles at him and he laughs happily, sticking his tongue out in return, which seems to utterly shock her. Oliver wraps an arm around Will, encompassing both of his children as they interact for the first time. He watches them for a moment before looking toward where Felicity lies in the nearby bed. Even given the distance between him and the camera, she can still see the dewiness of his eyes and she can still make out the words as he mouths ‘thank you’ to her.

‘Thank you, too,’ she hears herself murmur back just before the screen goes black.

“But…” Jules ventures before hesitating. There are more videos to come, but Felicity hits the button to turn off the tablet and devote her attention to her daughter here and now. The videos will be there later.

“But what?” she asks as Jules as the girl plays with the fabric of her sleeve.

“But… I wasn’t Ellie,” she says quietly. “I don’t understand. You wanted Ellie.”

That she still thinks that is like a knife to Felicity’s heart, but this also feels like a turning point, like an opportunity she can’t afford to let slip by.

“And yet,” she says slowly, “it was so much better that we had you.”

Jules’ eyes bug out hugely at that and her cheeks turn pink as her eyes dart toward the open door. It’s like she’s looking for Ellie, to make sure she hadn’t heard that. But that proves two things - first, that she’s completely unaware that her sister is incapable of doing anything quietly at this age and second, that she completely misunderstood her mother’s words.

“When I was pregnant with you, I thought you might be Ellie born earlier,” Felicity confesses. She holds Jules tighter as she says this, like she’s afraid she’s going to scare the girl off. “There were times I even thought that might be something I wanted, but that’s only because I didn’t know yet.”

“Didn’t know what yet?” Jules asks guardedly.

“That I’d love you every bit as much as I love her,” Felicity confides. “That having both of you was going to be so, so much better than just having Ellie. Jules, there is not a thing in this world that I would trade the experience of being your mother for. Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Jules asks, disbelief painted across her every feature.

“Nothing,” Felicity replies with fierce honesty. “Not having Ellie earlier, not having the other Ellie back. Nothing. You’re you, baby girl. You are so special. You impress me every day. I would do anything for you. Anything at all. So would your dad. So would Will.”

Nerves flitter across Jules’ face. Getting what she wants, hearing what she’d like to believe, those are things she’s never trusted easily.

“You are the cornerstone of this family, Jules. You are,” Felicity emphasizes, her voice breaking as she holds tightly to her daughter and silently prays she understands, that she believes. “You are my first baby. Will’s first sibling. Your father’s first daughter. The original Ellie showed your dad and I that we wanted to be a family. But, honey, you’re the one who made us one.”

Felicity will never know exactly what part of all of this gets through to her, but something does. Jules lets go of her mother’s shirt to throw her arms around her neck instead, letting out a relieved sob into her shoulder.

In hindsight, she’ll be hardpressed to decide which of them needed this more. Weight she hadn’t even known existed feels like it melts right off of her and it’s replaced with a lightness of heart and spirit, a sort of solidarity she’s never really found with her older daughter before. It is so hard-won, but maybe that just makes it mean more.

“I love you, Mommy,” Jules says with a shuddering breath and wet eyes pressed to the collar of her mother’s shirt. Felicity feels like her heart might burst on the spot and she clings to her daughter with a newfound sense of purpose.

“I love you, too.” It sounds like a prayer, like a vow. Maybe in some ways it is. Maybe it’s every bit as important as the ones she’d said when she’d married Oliver. Maybe it’s actually more important. “I will love you every day of my life. Always. I could live to be a hundred years old and I would never love anyone more than I love you, Jules.”

She says nothing, but Jules nods against her neck and it’s the best feeling Felicity’s ever had. This feels like solid ground, like the first step of a joint journey together, like they’re finally, finally on the same page. She kisses the top of her daughter’s head several times - it’s almost compulsive - and shuts her eyes hard against the tears that have welled up past the point of containment.

“I want you to believe that, Jules,” she whispers. “Now and always. No matter what. I need you to know that. Because, God, baby girl, you deserve it so much. I want that for you - I want everything for you - but I especially want you to know how loved you really are.”

The unity found in this moment is as beautiful as it is unexpected. Jules holds on for all she’s worth, her mother’s hands rubbing her back as she lets out shuddering, relieved sobs into her mom’s neck. Those tears are the best thing Felicity can even imagine. Because they’re healing, because they’re washing clean the scars and bruises of their relationship.

It is, by far, the best birthday present she could have imagined, but it feels as much a gift for her as it is for Jules. She has wanted this so badly, struggled for this kind of understanding between them for so very long. But she and Jules have so frequently crossed wires, talked at each other instead of to each other, and this trust is so very hard won.

But maybe that’s good. Maybe that’s better, because now that they’re here, maybe it’ll stick. Maybe it’ll stay forever.

God, she hopes so.

Felicity has no idea how long they sit there. Distantly, she can hear the laughter of Ellie and Sara in the back yard. Buster’s concern for his girl gives way to some kind of distraction and he wanders from the room. The front door opens and shuts and Felicity glances toward her office doorway to find Will watching them with concern. Jules doesn’t even pick up her head though and Felicity just smiles at her stepson and shakes her head softly. He takes the hint and leaves them alone, wandering toward the kitchen, no doubt on a mission to eat the contents of the entire fridge - a sixteen-year-old boy’s appetite is something else.

But she and Jules stay in a little bubble of their own making right up until the patter of tiny feet echoes through the house and a half-awake Nate stumbles into the room.

‘Half-awake’ might be charitable, actually. He’s rubbing at his eyes with one hand and dragging a teddy bear by the ear with his other. He can’t quite seem to get his feet to work the way he wants yet and he blearily stumbles into the doorframe as he tries to make his way over to them.

Nate doesn’t say anything, though. The two-and-a-half year old just climbs up onto the chair with them, wedging himself between his mother and his oldest sister with a contented sigh and wrapping his arms around Jules’ midsection and nuzzling in. He’s such an affectionate kid, so very tactile.

“Hey,” Jules greets him, letting go of her mom with one hand to pet the back of Nate’s hair. He loves that. Playing with his hair is the very easiest way to get him to fall asleep.

“Hi,” he says, yawning hugely as he finishes the word. “You’re home. Is it birthday time now?”

“It’s been my birthday all day,” Jules tells him. “That’s how birthdays work.”

Nate wakes up a little more at that, looking up between his mom and sister. “Is there cake though?”

Of course that’s where his mind goes. This boy’s sweet tooth is absurd. But that hardly matters right now. What matters to Felicity is that she’s got two of her babies on her lap right now, safe and content and openly affectionate. She tries to hold this in her mind, to take a snapshot of it so it lasts forever and ever.

She’s so very glad she took the day off of work. There’s not a thing in the world she’d trade this experience for.

“Not yet, goofball,” Jules says, ruffling his hair.

“But soon?” Nate questions, his eyes huge and pleading. “There’s gotta be cake. Cake makes birthdays good.”

“There will be,” Jules says. She’s smiling. She’s honestly smiling. It lights up her eyes and makes her look so happy, so at peace, so at home in her own skin. It’s beautiful to the point where Felicity could positively sob at the sight of it. “But…” Jules continues, looking up at her mom as she keeps talking. “It’s already been a pretty great birthday, even without the cake.”

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