#I was gonna combine this with my next post… but then I decided to split it up whatev

[1driedpersimmon]

Smtvv fun

(Not spoiler, just wanted to draw Beano dying, you know how it is)

[praetorqueenreyna]

ACOTAR Fandom Demographics Survey Results!!!

(Hold onto your schlong, this post is gonna be LONG)

Thank you, ACOTAR fans, for participating in the fandom demographics survey! There were a total of 351 participants who took the survey, and I am extremely grateful for everyone's contributions. I've spent quite a bit of time sifting through the data determining how best to share my findings. I've decided to break them up into several categories, and each section will have the methods, results, and discussion of that category all together.

I do want to remind everybody that this is meant to be in good fun. I don't want any ship wars or character hate in the notes of this post, nor do I want anybody to take these results as a personal attack. Without further ado, let's get into it!

Table of Contents

Overall results of the survey

Preferences of fans based on age and sexuality

Trends based on the characters/ships that people like/dislike

Conclusion and overall thoughts

1. Overall results of the survey

This is, essentially, just the raw data with each option visualized as a percentage of the total number of participants. Click on the pie graphs to see them better.

Age, Gender, and Sexuality

The largest percentage of fans are in the age range 18-24 years old (44%). 26% are 25-30 years old, 16% are under 18 years old, 12% are 31-40 years old, and 2% are over 41 years old.

An overwhelming proportion of fans identify as female 92%. 5% are non-binary, 1% are other, and 1% are questioning. There was one male who took the survey (whoever you are, keep your head high king!)

The most common sexuality was straight (46%), followed by bisexual (30%). 8% are asexual, 6% are questioning, 5% are pansexual, 3% are lesbians, and 2% are other.

Based on this, most ACOTAR fans are young women who are attracted to men, which makes sense, considering that is the target demographic. I also did not do any further comparisons between fans based on gender, simply because there aren't enough non-women to draw any real conclusions.

Favorite and least favorite book in the series

The second book, A Court of Mist and Fury, is the favorite book in the series (40%), followed by A Court of Silver Flames (23%). 17% chose A Court of Thorns and Roses as their favorite, 17% chose A Court of Wings and Ruin, 2% chose A Court of Frost and Starlight, and 1% couldn't pick a favorite.

The novella A Court of Frost and Starlight was the least favorite book (41%), followed by A Court of Silver Flames (25%). 20% chose A Court of Thorns and Roses, 6% chose A Court of Mist and Fury, 6% chose A Court of Wings and Ruin, and 2% couldn't pick a least favorite.

Overall, A Court of Mist and Fury is the fan favorite and not a lot of people liked A Court of Frost and Starlight. A Court of Thorns and Roses and A Court of Silver Flames are pretty controversial: about an equal number picked them as their favorite AND least favorite book. It makes sense for ACOTAR, since that book is so different from the other books and focuses on Tamlin and the Spring Court, whereas the other books focus on the Night Court and Inner Circle, which are fan favorites. ACOSF also seems to be pretty controversial, with it's focus on Nesta, who herself is a somewhat controversial character.

Favorite Character and Least Favorite Character

(Note: for characters, I differentiated between all the top contenders and combined all the ones that only got a few votes into the section "Other.")

The favorite character is Nesta Archeron (23%), followed by Lucien Vanserra (18%). Next is Elain Archeron (12%), Feyre Archeron (10%), Rhysand (7%), Azriel (7%), Cassian (6%), Eris Vanserra (6%), Gwyneth Berdara (5%), and then other characters fill out the remaining 7%.

The least favorite characters were pretty evenly split between true villains (Ianthe, the King of Hybern, Amarantha, etc) and non-villain characters (Rhysand, Morrigan, Tamlin, etc). The most disliked character was Ianthe (19%), followed by Rhysand (16%). Then Amarantha (13%), Beron Vanserra (9%), the King of Hybern (7%), Morrigan (5%), Tamlin (5%), Nesta (4%), Elain (4%), Amren (4%), and other characters for the remaining 15%.

The Archeron sisters, Vanserra brothers, and the Bat boys make up almost the entirety of the favorite characters. The least favorite characters were a lot more diverse and spread out, but generally the true villains were disliked the most.

Favorite Ship and Least Favorite Ship

(Note: I did the same thing for ships as for characters, where the lowest voted for ships are combined into an "Other" category)

The number one favorite ship is Feyre/Rhysand (22%) followed closely by Cassian/Nesta (19%). Next is Lucien/Elain (16%), Azriel/Elain (13%), Azriel/Gwyn (6%), and Azriel/Eris (5%). 6% said their ship wasn't present in the survey, and the remaining 10% is in the category "Other".

The number one least favorite ship is Azriel/Elain (26%). Then Feyre/Tamlin (12%), Tamlin/Elain (11%), Feyre/Rhysand (10%), Azriel/Gwyn (7%), Tamlin/Rhysand (4%), Cassian/Nesta (4%), Lucien/Elain (4%), Rhysand/Nesta (3%), with the remaining 20% being covered in the "Other" category.

Most of the ship likes/dislikes seem centered around who Elain is paired with, and who Azriel is paired with. Feyre features surprisingly little in the ship wars (other than between Feysand and Feylin), and she isn't shipped with any other characters despite being the main character.

Favorite and Least Favorite Aspect of the Series

The characters themselves are overwhelmingly fandom's favorite aspect of the series (44%). 16% said their favorite was the romance/smut, 13% is the character development, 12% is the worldbuilding, 5% is the canon ships, 5% is the plot, and 5% is any other aspect.

The "other" category had the most votes for least favorite aspect of the series, at 32%. The worldbuilding aspect had 20% of the votes as least favorite, then 17% for the plot, 15% for the character development, 7% for the characters, 5% for the canon ships, and 5% for the romance/smut.

People really like the characters in this series, which makes sense for fandom! I'll admit that this section's flaws are the lack of options, so it also makes sense that so many people chose "other" as their favorite/least favorite aspect of the series.

2. Preferences of fans based on age and sexuality

For this section, I wanted to see if there were trends in favorite/least favorite things based on age and sexuality. I ran a chi-square test, which looks at differences between categorical variables with a significance factor of p=0.05 (or, there being a 5% chance that any differences between categories are due to random error and not actual differences).

A chi-square test works best with 2 categories that have an approximate equal number of samples. To this end, I combined ages and sexualities in the following ways:

"Under 18 years old" and "18-24 years old" are combined in a category of "younger" fans. The remaining three age groups (comprised of fans aged 25 and older) are combined into a category of "older" fans. This gave us 209 younger fans and 142 older fans.

Every fan that didn't identify as straight was combined into a single category of "queer" fans. This gave us 163 straight fans and 188 queer fans

Age

There was no difference between younger and older fans in their least favorite book, favorite ship, and favorite/least favorite aspect of the series (p>0.05).

More younger people have Rhysand and Amarantha as their least favorite character than older people (p=0.02), and more younger people picked Feylin, Feysand, and Nessian as their least favorite ship than older people (p=0.05).

While not statistically significant, there were also trends in more younger people having ACOTAR as their favorite book (p=0.1) and Feyre as their favorite character (p=0.1).

Sexuality

There was no difference between queer and straight fans and their least favorite book, favorite/least favorite character, and favorite/least favorite aspect of the series (p>0.05).

More queer fans have ACOTAR as their favorite book, and more straight fans have ACOMAF as their favorite book (p=0.0007). More queer fans have Azris as their favorite ship, and more straight fans have Gwynriel as their favorite ship (p=0.03). In general, queer people had a much greater variety in their favorite ships (they had more favorites in the Ship Not Present and Other category).

While not statistically significant, there was also a trend of queer people having Feylin, Feysand, and Tamlain as their least favorite ship, and more straight people have Gwynriel as their favorite ship (p=0.08).

In general, there are actually not huge differences between younger/older fans, and queer/straight fans! I do think it's interesting that both younger people AND queer people prefer ACOTAR as their favorite book.

3. Trends based on the characters/ships that people like/dislike

For this section, I wanted to isolate all the people who voted for something in one category, and look at the other choices they made. So, for example, looking at the least favorite character from people who voted for Nesta as their favorite character. So these stats ONLY take into account the people who voted in that category. I restricted the characters/ships that got the most votes in each category.

General trends

To keep this from getting too long and dull, I will only report on the findings that I find particularly interesting. Some general trends I saw that don't seem specific to each category are:

the "least favorite character" being a true villain (Ianthe, Amarantha, King of Hybern, etc).

The least favorite ship being Azriel/Elain

The least favorite book being ACOFAS

I'll write out all the results, but here's a table of the trends I saw

Favorite character

People who voted for Nesta dislike Rhysand, and their favorite ship is Nessian. They also tend to dislike Feylin and Feysand, and their favorite book is ACOSF.

For Lucien, they dislike Ianthe and Rhysand, the favorite ship is Elucien, and the least favorite ship is Elriel (the most popular rival ship for Elain). Their favorite books are ACOTAR and ACOMAF.

For Elain, the overwhelming favorite ship is Elriel (85%), and they dislike Tamlain and Gwynriel (both rival ships for Elain and Azriel, respectively).

For Feyre and Rhysand, the favorite ship is Feysand and the favorite book is ACOMAF (true for people who voted for either of them as their favorite character).

Least favorite character

Again, most people voted for true villains in this category and there weren't many interesting trends. I did find that people that voted for Rhysand as their least favorite like Nesta and Lucien, and their least favorite ship is Feysand. Their favorite ships are in the "Other" or "Ship Not Present" category, and their favorite book is ACOTAR.

Favorite ship

For Feysand, the favorite characters are Feyre and Rhysand, the least favorite ship is Feylin, and the favorite book is ACOMAF. Interestingly, Feysand fans voted for the "true villains" for their least favorite character over Tamlin, who only got 8% of the vote for least favorite character. More evidence that the villains and non-villains should be split up for the "least favorite character" category.

For Nessian, the favorite character is overwhelmingly Nesta (only 22% of Nessian stans voted for Cassian as their favorite) and the favorite book is ACOSF.

For Elucien, the favorite character is Lucien, and the favorite book is ACOMAF.

For Elriel, the favorite character is Elain, least favorite ships are Tamlain and Gwynriel, and the favorite book is ACOWAR.

For Gwynriel, the favorite character is Gwyn, and the favorite book is ACOSF.

Least favorite ship

For people who disliked Elriel, the favorite character tends to Lucien, and the favorite ships are Elucien and Gwynriel. They also like Nessian and Feysand. Favorite books are ACOMAF and ACOSF.

For people who dislike Feylin, the favorite character is Nesta, and the favorite ships are Nessian and Feysand. Favorite book is ACOMAF, least favorite book is ACOTAR.

For people who dislike Tamlain, their favorite character is Elain and the favorite ship is Elriel. I'm honestly surprised that so many people HATE Tamlin/Elain this much, I didn't even know it was a major ship?

For people who dislike Feysand, the favorite characters are Nesta and Lucien and the least favorite character is Rhysand. Favorite book is ACOTAR, least favorite is ACOMAF.

For people who dislike Gwynriel, the favorite character is Elain, and the favorite ship is Elriel.

4. Conclusion and overall thoughts

So here we are! I'm sure there are some things here that are not a surprise (e.g. Feysand stans liking ACOMAF and dislike ACOTAR), and some things that are a surprise (nobody likes ACOFAS). If anybody else has more thoughts on these results and what they mean, I would love to hear them.

In general, I hope this survey reveals that there is no one, singular, overwhelming "fandom" making decisions and casting blame. Even the most popular characters/ships didn't get more than 25% of the total fandom vote! There is not one ship ruling the rest of us, there are about 5-6 popular ships with plenty of fans who love that ship. I hope that fans will read this survey and see ACOTAR fandom as a diverse community of fans with plenty of space for everybody to co-exist.

I welcome any and all questions and comments! Anybody that wants to see my stats or raw data need only ask, and I will be more than happy to share. There were some issues inherent in the survey that are due to my own mistakes, so I would not be OPPOSED to running an updated survey sometime in the future.

Stay safe, be kind, and thank you again for your participation.

[gentlehue]

hii cynthia

i love your blog its SO pretty and i have been following it for a few months now! i am so inspired by you <3

i have a bit of an issue that maybe you could give some insight onto?

so my school has a fun day next week where we can all dress up in costumes and play games and hang out with our friends all day (its our school feast day), and the theme is 'work it' where you can dress up as your dream job or what you want to be when you grow up!

so my friend group decided we were gonna go as a 3 person rock/pop band! its going to be so fun, we have bright pink inflatable electric guitars and mics!

but my problem is that i dont know what to wear bc i have to dress up as a popstar and i have no idea... my friends are really confident in their outfits and their normal style is very like, tank tops/miniskirts etc, which is basically the vibe of the popstar band yk?

but im not as confident in a tank top or a short skirt though.

ive been trying to develop my style and its very all over the place, i kinda hate it... but i just have no idea what to wear? i dont even know what type of clothes i like to wear in general so maybe this is the root of the issue

anyways that was a very long rant im sorry it was so long and this is probably really hard to answer :(

so maybe just a bit of outfit advice, popstar inspired (also got to be warm, its currently winter) and maybe some overall style advice too if you're willing?

thank you so much and hopefully this isnt too overwhelming for you <3 no pressure to answer this

HI LOVELY!!!! thank you sooo much 💘 love u cutie! my advice is under the cut ☺️

im gonna split this into 2 parts if thats okay!! just helps me gather my thoughts better LOL

what to do with the costumes ⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

ok so FIRST OF ALL before i say anything !!! i just wanna say the number one most important thing in this whole situation is that youre comfortable and feel confident in what you're wearing! the name of the event is a fun day but it wont be very fun if you feel insecure the whole time 😣 your friends are going to be comfortable in the clothes they're gonna be wearing and you deserve to feel the same! + if theyre your friends im sure they wouldn't mind :)

you can totally look like a popstar without a tank top and miniskirt! the examples/fixes im gonna give below will depend on what you feel comfortable with, feel free to modify as you see fit!!!!

tank top -> baby tee

above is my queen maisie peters certified pop star 😋 i feel like tank tops and baby tees give off the same vibe, not sure why but its good because if you're uncomfortable with the amount of arm a tank top shows, that can be fixed with a baby tee!! you can also wear a more oversized tee like maisie in the second pic if youre uncomfortable with how tight a baby tee is!!

2. long sleeves!! or a cute jacket

i considered grouping this w the first one since its the same thing just long sleeves if youre completely against showing any arm and/or you'd be cold (since you said its winter)!! i cant find any examples of artists wearing long sleeved tops unfortunately i think thats cz they probs dont get cold when performing on stage for hours 😫 BUT YOU CAN ALSO WEAR A CUTE JACKET!!! i dont like to wear jackets that much since i find them overstimulating n claustrophobic if that makes sense, but yk who does !??!

ms brina herself 😋 i LOVE her first outfit w the blue n white leather jacket so much! i feel like it combines the harsh and soft in one piece of clothing rly well ☺️ im gonna be saying this a lot throughout this post, but find fun jackets like sabrina's above !!!

3. tights!!! bonus points if theyre fun

if you still wanna wear a skirt, you can always wear tights if youre uncomfortable with the amount of leg a short skirt shows !!! i feel like some star patterned ones would be SO fun for the pop/rockstar theme as well 😫 you can even get coloured tights to match some other aspect of your oufit 😋

ms olivia rodrigo is almost always wearing fun tights!!! i couldn't find good pics but just look at some concert vids of her and you'll probs find lots of examples 😚

4. skirts come in all lengths 😊

we are so blessed to have skirts in all sorts of lengths on this planet!!! if you're still uncomfortable with the idea of wearing a mini skirt, wear a longer one! I LOVEEE maxi skirts so much i have a crazy amount of them in my wardrobe 😫

i feel like maxi skirts come in a lot of fun styles and cuts and patters n wtv, so theres lots for you to choose from! you could make it the centre of attention and wear something like the first one, or you could wear something simple like the second!!! if you do wear a maxi skirt id def pair it with some chunky black boots to add to the rock/popstar edge like in the first pic, or maybe even a chunky belt !! belt doesnt have to be on properly u can wear it the way they did in the 2000s (idk what this would look like tho so forgive me if its atrocious

i know shes wearing a dress in these pics but im using it as an example of having your legs completely covered and still serving popstar!!! her black boots are a VERY good example of that too, def broke the softness of the pink dress and gave her a little edge ☺️

5. pants !!! bonus points if theyre fun (again)

if youre 100% sure you dont wanna wear a skirt at all, then wear pants! just like the tights, i'd def try to get some fun ones 😋 using maisie peters as an example again LOL her outfits are perfect for this

fun pant CONNOISSEUR maisie peters i love her sm 😫

i hope this helped with the first bit!!! i feel like rock/popstar isnt a uniform, its a VIBE and these pics prove it 😊 if you wanna match with your friends id focus on matching colours instead of clothing types! also dont forget you get to do your hair and makeup & that will def help add to the pop/rockstar look 😚 AND ALSO ACCESSORIES !!! ive said this a lot but id wear some black boots for sure i feel like you could wear almost anything w black boots n get away w calling it pop/rock star 😚 there are sooo many options for you to choose from !! id def search up "[artist name] stage outfits" if you want more inspo :)

general style tips ⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

okay so this is something im still working on myself LOL i'll try to give some tips based on what i've gathered!!

pinterest is your best friend. ive been hating it lately because its only been showing fugly pics for my boards BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND CUTE OUTFIT INSPO ON PINTEREST!!! think about outfits other people have worn that you've liked & search up either more outfit inspo of them (if theyre a celeb/famous) or whatever aesthetic that happens to be part of !! make a style board and add a few pics you like and eventually pin will recommend some things you might also like 😋 since you said you dont know what kind of outfits you like, i feel like looking at outfits you've liked on other people is a good start 😊 try to look for people with similar features as you as well:)

think about outfits you've felt your best in and outfits you've felt your worst in!! once you've got them in your head, think about why you felt that way about those outfits/what aspects you particularly liked, and find outfits and pieces with similar aspects (using pinterest again). i feel like a lot of us dont notice we're wearing an outfit we aren't comfy in until we take a bit of time to think LOL. for example, i rly dont like wearing black unless its jeans/pants or a skirt (basically if its not the main focus of an outfit LMAO) i feel like every time i wear black as the main focus it doesn't rly match w my personality and i rly like when my outfit and how i feel on the inside match!! so i just completely eliminated black tops from my wardrobe LMAO i have a few ones that r exceptions, but you will rarely ever catch me in black!

think about what suits your complexion/features too! theres a lot of stuff about soft winter cool autumn on tt but i dont mean that LOL i find it confusing 😭 literally j wear things of diff colours n see if it suits you or washes you out! id recommend having a family member or a friend weigh in on this too since sometimes other people see things you dont 🤔 bonus points if this person is very blunt/honest since youre guaranteed the truth w them !!! when i was younger i was obsessed w wearing red but it looks HORRID on me like idk what's in the colour red that just completely washes me out and makes me look like a zombie 😭 luckily my mom brought this to my attention and now u will never catch me in red either !! ive also been told i look good in whites/creams, baby pink and baby blue, so i try to incorporate those into my wardrobe more!

remember that its okay for your style not to fit into a specific aesthetic:) i feel like these days theres so much emphasis placed on the aesthetic youre part of, but i find thats not really realistic since we're so complex as humans you cant j fit one person into a single aesthetic 😭 dont worry if you feel like your outfits are too different from each other or wtv, what's important is that you feel confident in all of them! your closet is a YOU aesthetic, not vanilla girl or clean girl or downtown girl or anything 😊 use the aesthetics for inspo, dont force yourself to emulate them 100%

do a wardrobe detox!! i do this every once in a while LOL make a pile of yes, nos and maybes! once youre done, look thru the yes's and nos and think about why they ended up there 🤔 ALSO make sure to donate your clothes or give them to your sibling (i give a lot of things to my sister LMAO) or smth pls dont j throw them away because so many people are in need of clothes esp now that the weather is getting colder !!!!

remember that this will take time! clothes aren't cheap most of the time, and unless youre very rich you cant just buy a whole new wardrobe in one day 😫 embrace the journey of finding your style!!! imagine yourself as a fashion student in a movie if that helps LOL and be proud of yourself for taking this step! definitely start with buying pieces that are more versatile and can be paired with multiple things so you can rewear them a lot while fixing up your wardrobe! 💘

i hope this helped !!! pls lmk if you need anything else, love you!!! 🎀✨

[autumnalwalker]

HEADS UP/7 UP Tag

Thank you for the tag, @cljordan-imperium.

I actually received several such tags this past week, so I've decided that rather than leave them totally unrelated or combining them all into one long post I'll split up one moderate-length passage I wrote recently and post it over the course of the day in chunks. I'll go back and edit these posts to link them together as they go up.

Part 1/4 (1) (2) (3) (4)

Passing the (optional) tag to @blind-the-winds, @angelasscribbles, @theprissythumbelina, @the-down-upside-finch, @ceph-the-ghost-writer, @words-after-midnight, @talesofsorrowandofruin, plus an open tag for anyone else who wants it.

From the next Empty Names chapter (20):

“Last check if you want to wait until Road and Eris get back,” Lacuna’s voice says through Ashan’s earpiece as he stands just inside the picket fence marking the border of the office and the unwarded sidewalk.

“Road left me behind for the express purpose of helping any clients that show up needing help while they are away, and that is exactly what I am doing now,” Ashan responds.  “We have taken the necessary precautions and I see no reason to doubt my ability to resolve the matter.  Or are you saying that you would rather wait?”

“I’m nervous, not gonna lie, but what else is new?  You’re the one with the hard job here, so we’ll be fine.  Anyway, mirror charm’s still holding strong on this end.  Tam still looks like you in here, and you still sound like them.  Let’s just hope it fools everyone else as well as it fools me.” 

According to Tam, the beast that has been hounding him for weeks now only shows itself when no one else is around, which presented a complication for any plans to assist them.  Fortunately Lacuna had been able to dig up a pair of bracelets she had enchanted some time back as part of one of her ever-vague “personal projects.”  Allegedly they operated via a modified perception filter to cause observers to perceive one wearer as the other while leaving the wearers’ perception unaltered.  That last part had caused Lacuna to deem the bracelets “an experimental failure but exactly what we need now,” while leaving Ashan and Tam to take her word on their efficacy.  While even now Ashan can tell that the bracelet is doing something whenever he glances down at his wrist, actively focusing on it is nearly as nauseating and disorienting as that concealment ritual of hers.  

The same goes for the little metal rectangle engraved with a not-quite-fractal on either side now hanging from a cord around his neck and tucked beneath his robe.  According to Lacuna it is supposed to provide protection from anything trying to get into his mind.  It was the one amulet out of the whole clinking mass she had tried to foist upon him that he accepted, and mostly just to placate her, if he is being honest.  She had been busy these past weeks with enchanting trinkets from her library of pre-recorded rituals from her old job and if Ashan had hung all that she had offered around his neck the combined static noise of their auras that close to him would have run the risk of making him sick.

Once again, he wonders how she has not accidentally killed herself already.  Or at least blown up her lab.

But enough of that.  What comes next requires a clear mind free of distracted musings.

[chasing-rabbits]

Just need to vent a little here. So I’m in this UK handmade selling group on facebook. I’ve always lurked but never posted until recently. I mean I wasn’t really making anything new or selling my old stuff I’d made for my Etsy the whole reason I stopped selling on Etsy was because it got to much for me as I had a lot of irl shit to deal with. So I post my earrings in the group now this group has the same loose definitions of handmade as Etsy does. By this I mean they don’t expect you to be an artisan who makes their own charms for their jewellery. They literally have people selling craft kits - i.e they are buying in paints and brushes and small pottery bits to then combine into a kids craft kit and selling it in this ‘handmade’ group. Which tbh even I think that’s a little bit pushing the boundaries on ‘handmade’ but most of these people also have Etsy’s and that is within Etsy guidelines. So they accept my bubble tea necklaces and then last night I decide to make a post for the earrings. The same ones I’ve promoted on here the fruity ones, the panda butts and the octopus ones. It gets removed/declined for breaking one of the rules. So I’m like okay let’s see it says ‘not handmade’. So I reach out to an Admin who says she’s going to look into it in the meantime I re submit it to the group so she can find it again and look over it and I assumed accept it. She just gets back to me now and says this

Now I want to clarify again just today they have accepted not one not two but multiple posts from other sellers selling earrings with a charm on. One of them even has the EXACT same charm I have on a pair of earrings I’ve got sat right now in my jewellery container. So this isn’t a case of we don’t think they meet the true requirements of ‘handmade’ this is them saying they think I bought these earrings as is that I didn’t attach the charms myself. Bear in mind before they sent this message I offered to send them proof. I said I could show them receipts of where I bought the charms from. I even said I could show photos of the charms because I have charms sat in my jewellery containers on their lonesome and the earring hooks and the findings and all my jewellery making tools. Fuck I even offered to make a video so fuck it I did make a video which is really bad for me because I’ve been SO bad right now with aches in my wrist and hands. So now I’m thinking oh god next thing I’m gonna get back is some criticism of you don’t look like you know what you’re doing so we don’t believe you. I did put in the post I sent them as proof with the video that I AM disabled and right now my hands are not doing great and I was struggling with grip and got the shakes a little when holding the pliers to open the split ring. There’s a reason I’ve not made jewellery since lockdown (except this Monday I had a good day Monday and made some earrings HOWEVER I bought earring hooks that didn’t require me to use split rings. I’ll have to take a picture but the hooks are basically designed in a way that you can just drop the charms and beads onto it. It’ll make sense when I take the pics and post them. But I just had to vent about this because like what am I meant to do in the future when posting to this group? I post something handmade and if they don’t believe me they’re just gonna go nah sorry fuck off and like then what am I meant to do you know? It’s just so fucking dumb like what is it about these earrings specifically that made you think they weren’t handmade compared to the other ones listed on their group from other sellers. Fuck why did they accept my bubble tea necklaces and not these earrings. Like it feels so arbitrary and it’s like well fuck me I guess then. I mean fuck I’m offering you proof and you just ignore it and reply nah soz we don’t believe you. Without even accepting my offer to show you the receipts like nah fucking old white women Karens of FB tho fr. Like and she over there with her cricut selling vinyl personalised mugs and she’s judging my handmade crafts lmfao (also I don’t actually hate on the cricut I have the curio which is a similar model made from the same company like vinyl be all right but like everyone be doing it and technically she could just be buying in from china and Ali express and no one would know so it’s like half the shit on that group you could look at it and think hmm because if its simple enough then yeah it can likely be mass produced and made in china like it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to buy some charms and put them on jewellery like I am aware that I’m not doing anything particularly special here but cut me some slack it takes me twice as long to make this shit because my hands no work and I can’t make consistently because my hands NO WORK so it’s about all I can manage right now)

[pb-dot]

Film Friday: Paranormal Activity

Another late Film Friday, what can I say, time is strange these days. Anyway, last week's One Cut Of The Dead got me thinking about another really inexpensive horror movie that really tore up the horror scene. Paranormal Activity had a shooting budget of 15k dollars, and with a somewhat beefier 215k post-prod, it still comes out well under what you'd expect to need to shell out for a feature length movie. Earning back almost 200 million at the box office and starting a successful franchise, Paranormal Activity is one of those ROI dream scenarios for sure. This is all well and good, but the best part is that the movie also kinda rocks, and I'm going to get into that a bit today.

Paranormal Activity is the story of Katie and Micah, a comfortably middle-class couple who find themselves besieged by supernatural forces. Katie is convinced she is haunted by a supernatural being, and day trader and amateur documentarian Micah decides to set up a camera or two to get to the bottom of things. Needless to say given the genre, Katie's belief is indeed justified, and despite her insistence that they don't provoke the entity, Micah just can't help stirring the ethereal pot.

The whole movie is presented in the Found Footage style as the footage Micah shoots. Using mostly fixed angle tripod shots, the movie is far steadier than the customary chaotic handheld found footage affair. Paranormal Activity uses this steady foundation to build a slow burn horror. It starts simple, Katie sleepwalking, pictures falling off the wall off screen, escalates as Katie's somnambulism takes on an unnerving edge, doors slam, and invisible entities start directly interacting with our intrepid homeowners.

The movie is pretty evenly split in my mind, between daytime scenes that for the most part leans into exploring the backstory of this peculiar haunting as well as Micah and Katie's reactions to the spookiness thus far, and some truly hauntingly tense night time shots, where the majority of the scary business takes place.

My favorite thing, bar none, about this movie is how it clicker trains the audience. Throughout the movie, the night scenes are mostly scanned through in fast forward. That is, of course, until something strange or scary happens, in which case the footage slows down to 1x speed. I vividly remember seeing this film in the theater and near the end of the movie hearing the person next to me whisper to their friend, in as close to a panic as I've heard in a movie theater, "It's at normal speed, oh god, it's at normal speed..." That, right there, is payoff. That is having your audience so thoroughly conditioned to be scared that even when you flat out tell them "Ok, fair warning I'm gonna scare you now," they're still on it. It's marvelous really, and next to REC, it's my favorite example of the power of the found footage genre.

If the movie has a major flaw, it surely is the character of Micah. Granted, it's a thankless job being the boyfriend in a horror movie, as you're most likely either on skeptic duty or en route to be very early in the killcount, but even among the storied ranks of shitty horror movie boyfriends, Micah ranks pretty high up there. He combines most of, if not all of the trait of the gaslighting "I don't believe in ghosts"-boyfriend, and the absolutely obsessive "film everything"-found footage guy. This leaves us with a guy who neither all the way believes the ostensible love of his life about the entity that has been haunting her the vast majority of her life, nor is willing to leave this thing that he may or may not believe in alone for a damn second. He scoffs at the psychic Katie brings in to have a gander at the situation, and yet he's out there spreading salt on the floor to see if whatever is out there tormenting his wife to near insanity leaves any footprints.

When Katie asks him to promise not to buy an Ouija board to communicate with the thing, Micah reluctantly agrees, and then goes out to borrow an Ouija board to communicate with the thing instead. That's the kind of bullshit you'd expect from a bad r/AITA poster, and the kind of behavior that has me considering Micah as a bit of a secondary villain in the piece. It's to the level where I think the three best things about the sequel are 1: More cameras, 2: the inclusion of a VERY good dog, and 3: No Micah.

Paranormal Activity is an interesting horror movie, in that I can't quite decide if it works best in theaters or at home. I think it works very well in the cinema given the isolation and captive nature of the experience really driving home the tension the movie's building up. On the other hand, there's something compelling about watching a horror movie set in a quite regular house like, say, the one you're in RIGHT NOW. Granted, the impact of the latter may be reduced some with the Paranormal Activity house being a pre-'08 real estate bubble collapse type of home, which further serves to alienate us from Micah's perspective. I suppose that there's some joy to be found in the fact that if the demon didn't get to him, the near-collapse of the financial sector would no doubt ruin Micah's day trading ass, but I digress.

Although I like it better as a movie, I'm probably not going to write about Paranormal Activity 2, in part because it's more of what worked from the first one, and in part because I do not want to set out on a path that may one day have me do a retrospective of the sixth film Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension.

[daggumvarmint]

Part 1 October Ink Challenge

I've been posting this personal october ink art challenge on Instagram, but I decided to add them over here too, hence the big explosion of two thirds of a month's art all at once.

Never done an October drawing challenge before, and unfortunately I never got to participate in Inktober before the guy that started it tried to screw artists over it, so I'm just gonna do my own challenge this month.

I've got a list of prompts split into spooky adjectives and nouns, and I'm running them through this random choice combiner: https://www.dcode.fr/choices-combinations

Adjectives: slimy, cold, dark, bloody, sickly, flaming, masked, sexy, Spooky, ugly, broken, drowned, undead, creepy, impailed, cute, kind, distorted, flying, evil, mishievious, space, plantlike, mysterious, magic, musical, western, corporate, toy, sea, Hellspawn

Nouns: Goblin, ghost, skeleton, frankenstein, mummy, cultist, lovecraftian horror, zombie, witch, vampire, werewolf, sea serpent, chupacabra, bigfoot, yeti, mothman, demon, gargoyle, haunted house, pumpkin, monster, grave, mutant, fish, beast, bat, cat, killer, crow, clown, alien

I generate a prompt and whichever two words I use, I strike from the list, and use what's left for the next day.

Oct-1: Creepy Yeti

Oct-2: Masked Werewolf

Oct-3: Space Witch

Oct-4: Musical Ghost

Oct-5: Mysterious Beast

Oct-6: Sea Grave

Oct-7: Corporate Bigfoot

Oct-8: Flying Pumpkin

Oct-9: Kind Sea Serpent

Oct-10: Cold Zombie

Oct-11: Toy Demon

Oct-12: Flaming Mummy

[televinita]

Books Read in 2022: The Why

I said I wasn’t gonna do this but then it really annoyed me that I hadn’t while I was looking at the older ones, and SECRETLY it turns out I had the whole document on my computer so boom. End-of-year wrap-up but it’s midway through the next year.

We are now in year seven (?!) of looking back at my reading list for the year and answering the question, why did you read this particular book? I’m officially adding back in where/how I heard of it, too, because I also missed being able to easily see that stat.

You can see the full chronological list w/ larger cover images here, but these are split into groups by target readership age, plus nonfiction at the end. When it comes to 20th century teen books, sometimes it’s very hard to decide whether to count a title YA or middle grade, so I tried to just stick with the rule of “protagonists age 13 and under = middle grade.”

ADULT FICTION

(splitting into 3 sections because there are A Lot of covers here)

Very Sincerely Yours - Kerry Winfrey. 2021. Do we all know the story of how I took one look at the love interest described in the summary and said “Darren Criss??” (specifically the energy of him in that one music video?)

How I heard of it: a book blog

How Not To Die Alone - Richard Roper. 2019. I mean, it’s an eye-catching title! Upon pulling it out: “oh I’m here for sad introverted men. And the prospect of office romance.” And his job sounded interesting to read about.

How I heard of it: library

The Killer in the Carriage House - Sheila Connolly. 2019. The Secret Staircase - Sheila Connolly. 2021. The first audiobook of this cozy-mystery series was such a fun experience last year that I was excited to enjoy the next two (sadly there are no more, or I would have kept going)

Cross My Heart - Robin Lee Hatcher. 2019. Pulled this out of a Little Free Library like “HORSES??” (a romance featuring people who work with horses, specifically) and read it immediately.

Castaways - Brian Keene. 2009. The premise of “Survivor goes horribly wrong” was irresistible. I love jungle thrillers, I love horror, I don’t usually love cryptid horror but combined with the premise, I said yeah, okay.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Present Danger - Elizabeth Goddard. 2021. My rewatch of Blood & Treasure season 1 whipped me into a frenzy of both searching the keyword “treasure” in the library catalog and looking for 2nd chance romance. This one gave me both, PLUS my beloved western mountain setting!

Brood - Jackie Polzin. 2021. Small, cute, compact book to which I said, “chickens? Vignettes? Cool.”

How I heard of it: library, specifically because it was shelved beside the next book on this list.

A Rumored Fortune - Joanna Davidson Politano. 2018. See “Present Danger” rationale but swap mountain setting for a 19th century English estate (woo!) and more prominent focus on treasure.

How I heard of it: library

Made in the U.S.A. - Billie Letts. 2008. I really enjoyed two of her earlier ones; this cover caught my eye at the library so I spontaneously decided to take a trip back to her.

The River - Peter Heller. 2019. The Guide - Peter Heller. 2021. Watch The Amazing Race Season 33 –> find Dusty & Ryan’s friendship totally awesome –> Google for a book about two best friends, ideally in an outdoor setting –> find the book of your dreams in a Reddit post looking for exactly that. And I loved the characters so much that of COURSE I was going to read the sequel.

Five Tuesdays in Winter: Stories - Lily King. 2021. The title got my attention and the first couple of stories intrigued me juuuust enough that I decided to read the whole thing instead of just skimming or reading a couple.

How I heard of it: library

The Bookshop of Yesterdays - Amy Meyerson. 2018. How could you NOT love the idea of a) a literary scavenger hunt and b) inheriting a bookshop??

How I heard of it: I think this one was on a book blog?

While You Sleep - Stephanie Merritt. 2019. Picked up the previous book at the library and this was next to it. What I could see of the spine looked cool, the cover looked awesome, and “ghost story on an isolated island off the coast of Scotland?? TAKE ME TO THERE.”

Before I Called You Mine - Nicole Deese. 2020. I was desperate for a sweet romance. I wasn’t sure if this would cut it, but when I looked it up on Goodreads, there was a review that said “if you don’t fall in love with Joshua you are not human,” and that was a very good endorsement indeed. not least because I was looking for a book specifically to cast Josh Groban in

How I heard of it: used book sale

Lake Season - Denise Hunter. 2019. Days of furious keywoord-googling produces: sweet romance prospect the second! (he’s a shy and reclusive romance novelist?? OK go) WITH a bonus dream setting/premise of “inherited B&B.”

Beautiful Girls: Stories - Beth Ann Bauman. 2002. The cover was very pretty – less for the image of legs than the lovely use of purple tones, which I suppose includes the knee high socks I now want – and I was hoping to relate to the women/girls in this collection. Bought 1.5 years ago, read now to see if I could get rid of it. (yes)

How I heard of it: used-book section of my magic local Barnes & Noble.

girlchild - Tupelo Hassman. 2012. I was intrigued by the cover, trailer park setting, vignette style of writing, and 3-generations-of-women cast of characters.

How I heard of it: used book sale

All That Really Matters - Nicole Deese. 2021. Her other book was so good that I looked up her backlist, which led me to one been intrigued by on a book blog but forgotten to write down; I genuinely had no idea it was this author! Mostly because: I love main characters who are Influencers, but I was also curious about her youth mentorship job.

The Middle of Somewhere - Sonja Yoerg. 2015. Summertime = hiking inspiration time! (she’s on the Pacific Crest Trail)

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Thief of Hearts - Tess Gerritsen. 1995. Blood & Treasure obsession round 2 (for season 2) leads to me seeking an audiobook with a British female narrator whose voice will remind me of Lexi’s. And then I find one from an author I love, about a CAT BURGLAR?? Serendipity! So even though their nationalities are reversed, “whatever, this is a Danny-and-Lexi story now in my head.”

How I heard of it: Libby

In Their Footsteps - Tess Gerritsen. 1994. And then I accidentally fell in love with Jordan Tavistock so much that I went back to the first book in the duology to get more of him.

How I heard of it: Libby

Never Say Die - Tess Gerritsen. 1992.   But in between those books, I was like, that is WILD, I can’t believe I’m finding 90s mass market romance so fun?? so I picked up a bonus (in print this time) because this one kind of looked like my other OTP Of The Summer, Claire/Owen, since it was an ex-soldier + headstrong woman who Doesn’t Need His Help.

How I heard of it: Libby

Mom Jeans and Other Mistakes - Alexa Martin. 2021. Raise your hand if you LOVE the idea of best friends moving in together in adulthood even though one of them has a kid.

How I heard of it: a book blog

The Summer List - Amy Mason Doan. 2018. SO many reasons: the beautiful cover and title, best friends reuniting in adulthood after 15 years apart, the idea of scavenger hunts, the northern California setting...

How I heard of it: oh no, can’t remember! I think Goodreads?

The Lake Season - Hannah McKinnon. 2015. The beautiful summery cover, mostly. I wanted in on a similar setting after loving the above.

How I heard of it: Goodreads (upon looking up Lake Season in the search bar)

What You Wish For - Katherine Center. 2020. I’ve loved several of hers and though I was definitely Wary about this one’s romance, then I got briefly obsessed with Adam Scott and was like, oh, I could imagine HIM playing this character in a still-appealing way, given the difference between his personalities on Parks & Rec vs. Severance! (facts: even picturing Scott, I still hated Duncan)

How I heard of it: Goodreads

A Dazzle of Diamonds - Liz Johnson. 2020. Was once again in the mood for a sweet romance and I loved the other two in this series / had always wanted to read this one. Guaranteed good time.

How I heard of it: Goodreads, but introduced to the series originally on a book blog

Tailspin - Elizabeth Goddard. 2016. Blood & Treasure got me to a place of “I need multiple life-threatening/life-saving action scenes STAT!” and then my brain remembered that when I was last here in January, I’d learned that Goddard had one billion options for me. This one seemed closest to my needs from what the library had. Cookie-cutter mass market romance is very useful sometimes.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

We Went to the Woods - Caitlin Dolan-Leach. 2019. It sounded like an American version of my beloved The Shadow Year. Friends deciding to try group homesteading for self-sufficiency? BRING IT.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Rizzoli & Isles #13: Listen To Me - Tess Gerritsen. 2022. Read & loved all the other books in this series.

The Map That Leads To You - Joseph Monninger. 2017. I’ve read several of his YA novels, and then a Reddit post described it as some of the most beautiful writing they’d ever encountered. Plus, it is very romantic to think of a man following his grandfather’s leatherbound travel journal.

The Vines - Shelley Nolden. 2021. Came up on my Goodreads feed; I clicked on the link to her research about North Brother Island with all its crumbling abandoned structures, and immediately said TRANSPORT ME HERE FICTIONALLY.

An Afternoon Walk - Dorothy Eden. 1971. The cover pulled me in and the first chapter – which details the cover image as they explore the grounds of a nearby estate and peek at the abandoned house – sold me entirely.

How I heard of it: used book sale

The Lost Island - Preston & Child. 2014. Gideon's Sword - Preston & Child. 2011. Looking for more audiobooks that at least vaguely fit my Danny/Lexi/adventure casting, the “treasure” keyword pinged the Lost Island. It didn’t work for Lexi, but I could totally picture Matt Barr as Gideon and the audiobook was really good, so I went back to the beginning. (I had intended to listen to the whole 5-book series, but I got Distracted)

How I heard of it: Libby

Fading Starlight - Kathryn Cushman. 2016. Beautiful cover + fixing up a coastal house, I’m there.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Hidden Treasures - Michelle Adams. 2021. Needed an audiobook, did a keyword search for “treasure” on Libby this time and was drawn in by that, the cover, the prospect of cleaning out a hoarder’s house, and the 2nd chance romance (hey there Danny/Lexi).

The More I See Of Men - Lynn Hall. 1992. Reading all her books is #1 on my literary bucket list. I’ve long been intrigued by this one ever since Lynn referenced it in an interview, so I finally bit the bullet and bought a copy when I found one for $5 (and, in a shocking turn of events, actually read it immediately).

Small Game - Blair Braverman. 2022. Does everyone in the world know yet how I fooled myself into believing this would be like the TV show Siberia??

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Tuesday Mooney Talks to Ghosts - Kate Racculia. 2019. Small Game failed me, so I desperately went fishing on my TBR for a pick-me-up and decided a treasure / scavenger hunt with riddles would be a good consolation prize.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Dragon Keeper - Mindy Mejia. 2012. I liked a previous book of hers and loved the idea of a zookeeper character, with a focus on her zoo charge. Bought cheap at a book sale since library didn’t have it, and read it ASAP to send it back out the door.

A Shroud of Leaves - Rebecca Alexander. 2019. A Baby's Bones - Rebecca Alexander. 2018. The cover and title pulled me in, not least because season 1 of Bedlam ended on a cliffhanger that made me desperate to read a proper British crime novel about missing girls. Who knew I would find one at the dollar store?? Anyway, the book was so awesome that I went back to the first one at the library ASAP.

In A Cottage In A Wood - Cass Green. 2017. Riding high on British thrillers, this was for sale at the library and I jumped on it because “you randomly inherit a house” is always a plot favorite. Bonus points if it’s apparently creepy.

The Doll's House - M. J. Arlidge. 2015. Still on the British thriller theme of missing girls, this time looking for an audiobook -- and I’m always extra-intrigued by The Collector-type scenarios. (I was not aware it was part of a series until after I started)

How I heard of it: Libby

Vanishing Edge - Claire Kells. 2021. An Unforgiving Place - Claire Kells. 2022. Hiking inspiration (national parks) AND an investigative mystery? The first one was so good that I devoured the sequel as soon as it was available.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Escape Room - Megan Goldin. 2019. Found a cheap audiobook at a library sale, am down for escape room thrillers

How I heard of it: used book sale

Lease on Love - Falon Ballard. 2022. It popped up on the library homepage and immediately looked like it might be one of those sweet romances (or at least have the sweet love interest) I’ve been craving. Plus real estate porn from getting to live in a brownstone for practically nothing. (I didn’t factor in there being actual porn, but regrettably...)

The Cottage on Wildflower Lane - Liz Davies. 2020. Available audiobook, cute cover, sweet romance, soothing British narrator.

How I heard of it: Libby

Three Story House - Courtney Miller Santo. 2014.   Who am I to turn down stories about women fixing up old houses??

How I heard of it: library

The Night She Disappeared - Lisa Jewell. 2021. Anyway, back to British thrillers about missing girls. (But also, I know this is a popular author, and the phrase “abandoned mansion” IMMEDIATELY sold me as the one to start on from her)

How I heard of it: Libby, I think?

Dead Lake - Darcy Coates. 2020. The Folsom Ghosts was actually the book that caught my eye on the library website; it looked like everything I like in horror. When I got to the library and found a whole SHELF of identically appealing books, I checked out half a dozen and intended to read them all, but randomly started here. And then I just...didn’t read any others, it was too good.

Check Me Out - Becca Wilhite. 2018. Bought at a book sale a while ago, because G-rated romance featuring a librarian.

Good Omens - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman. 1990. Reread via the new full cast audiobook (listened on Libby), which was the dream/what I wanted the first time around in 2020.

(I forgot to include a pic of this one, whoops)

=========

CATEGORY TWO: YOUNG ADULT

(again in two parts)

99 Lies - Rachel Vincent. 2018. Sequel to (more accurately “the second half of”) a fantastic thriller I read in December.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Eden Summer - Liz Flanagan. 2016. Bought cheap at a book sale because cool title and cover, plus curiosity about what had happened to her missing best friend.

Spellbook of the Lost and Found - Moira Fowley-Doyle. 2017. In search of an available audiobook, I thought the Irish-accented narrators would be cool, not least because I had looked with interest at this beautiful cover for years at the library and only been put off by the “fantasy” sticker on the spine. This time I actually read the summary, and it sounded a lot more realistic.

The Runaway's Diary - Marilyn Harris. 1971. Intrigued by the publication year + dog + journal format. First came across it on Goodreads in a “what’s that book?” post; was in the mood to order from Interlibrary Loan.

The Rules - Nancy Holder & Debbie Viguie. 2015. Love me a creative serial killer Spooky Book in February.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Children of the River - Linda Crewe. 1989. Reminded of its existence by Speaking For Ourselves and was frankly stunned to see the library still had a 90s copy in circulation, so I took the opportunity to reread a book I’d liked in high school.

In Summer Light - Zibby Oneal. 1985. Read about it in Speaking For Ourselves, Too; was intrigued by the setting and the focus on art. Lucked out this year finding a copy for sale at the library.

The Golden Window - Ernie Rydberg. 1956. Tripped over it in an antiquarian bookstore on clearance; it seemed like a very darling, nostalgic look at college.

Pretty Bad Things - C.J. Skuse. 2010. Cover model looked like Melissa Benoist and I was under the impression (until I started) that the twins were both girls. Read now because I could -- after 2 years on my TBR I saw the audiobook on Libby (the library doesn’t have a print version).

How I heard of it: Goodreads

A Good Girl's Guide to Murder - Holly Jackson. 2020 (US edition). Good Girl, Bad Blood - Holly Jackson. 2021. As Good As Dead - Holly Jackson. 2022. I finally succumbed to the hype, mostly for the promise of some unusual formatting / mixed media, and had such a good time that I finished the trilogy in quick succession.

How I heard of it: book blogs

The Mall - Megan McCafferty. 2020. Fun cover design/colors + I love malls. And the 90s.

How I heard of it: a book blog

What Waits in the Water - Kieran Scott. 2017. Picked up in a Little Free Library & read immediately because I liked her previous What Waits book.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Three Desperate Days - Hope Dahle Jordan. 1962. Vintage teen thriller! With a road trip twist.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Lies Like Wildfire - Jennifer Lynn Alvarez. 2021. Wildfire + teen thriller/suspense/mystery = sold.

How I heard of it: library

There You'll Find Me - Jenny B. Jones. 2011. Loved the movie (Finding You), wanted to immediately revisit it in book form.

How I heard of it: I do remember it from the library when it was new

Sisters In Sanity - Gayle Forman. 2007. I like this author and was surprised to see the library had such an old book (old by the library’s standards, not mine). Plus I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of middle-of-nowhere reform camps for uncontrollable teens, ever since I read an article about one in a teen magazine when I was a teen -- not the one this author apparently wrote before writing her book, but very similar.

How I heard of it: library

The Dead House - Dawn Kurtagich. 2015. + Dead House: Naida (not pictured) I was at the library to pick up the book below, when I saw this next to it with a more alluring title/cover/premise and – oh, is that COOL MIXED-MEDIA FORMATTING?? Sold! (then I read the sequel novella on Libby because I Just Can’t Get Enough.)

And The Trees Crept In - Dawn Kurtagich. 2016. Read a post about it on r/whatsthatbook; it sounded so awesomely spooky that I wanted to read it even after being spoiled on the ending.

The Summer of Chasing Mermaids - Sarah Ockler. 2015. Beautiful cover/cover model (the girl, at least); between that and the setting it seemed like a perfect summer read.

How I heard of it: Library

The Evolution of Claire - Tess Sharpe. 2018. In which after losing my mind about Jurassic World: Dominion, I learn that there is officially licensed YA fanfic about Claire Dearing and immediately pterodactyl-screech “GIVE IT 2 ME!”

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Never Coming Home - Kate Williams. 2022. I will apparently read infinity versions of social media influencers being lured to deserted tropical islands for creative and vengeful Murder Reasons.

How I heard of it: library

Hold Still - Nina LaCour. 2009. Continuing last year’s quest to finish reading her YA novels, I decided I wanted to go back and reread this one before my last new one, mostly because there was an audiobook version this time.

How I heard of it: library

Gap Life - John Coy. 2016. Always interested in post-high-school paths that aren’t college.

How I heard of it: library

Property of the State - Bill Cameron. 2016. Always interested in foster-kid stories.

How I heard of it: library

Damselfly - Chandra Prasad. 2018. *New York “Beyonce?” face* MIXED GENDER LORD OF THE FLIES??? (one of the few assigned classics I genuinely enjoyed in high school)

How I heard of it: library

We Are Okay - Nina LaCour. 2017. Working my way through all her books; specifically interested in the idea of best friends reuniting after months of silence (as a person who remained solitary and had minimal contact with her own best friend during the first semester of college).

Rural Voices: 15 Authors Challenge Assumptions About Small-Town America [stories] - ed. Nora Shalway Carpenter. 2020. Interested on sight in the promised settings of small/rural towns.

How I heard of it: Barnes & Noble

Secret Scribbled Notebooks - Joanne Horniman. 2004. The most alluring title in the history of ever. I wanted a peek at what she scribbled in the notebooks, perhaps for notebook-using inspiration of my own.

How I heard of it: OpenLibrary

Meet The Sky - McCall Hoyle. 2018. Natural disaster survival + lost horse?? Two of my favorite things.

How I heard of it: library

Solace of the Road - Siobhan Dowd. 2009. Reread of a book I didn’t remember well because available audiobook + pleasing Irish narrator I figured would lull me to sleep.

How I heard of it: library

This Is Our Story - Ashley Elston. 2016. I keep wanting to read one of hers, and murder mysteries are always fun.

How I heard of it: library

The Tenth Girl - Sara Faring. 2019. IT LOOKED SO SPOOK (plus how often do you find a story set in Patagonia?)

How I heard of it: Barnes & Noble

The Small Crimes of Tiffany Templeton - Richard Fifeld. 2020. Mostly the pretty colors in the cover (see: The Mall) and irresistibly cool title; a little bit because “small town in Montana” setting.

How I heard of it: library

Holly Jolly Summer - Tiffany Stewart. 2018. Bought cheap because cute cover + working at a theme park?? As unusual a theme for YA as the idea of a Christmas-themed town. (Read now because I needed a summery read to match the Indian summer weather.)

How I heard of it: the used book section of my Barnes & Noble

Full Flight - Ashley Schumacher. 2022. Loved her first book, ready to be heart-hurt again.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Not In The Script - Amy Finnegan. 2014. Randomly browsing at the library and saw...cute romance on a TV show set? I love that.

Drop-Out - Jeannette Eyerly. 1963. Been meaning to read one of hers, this one was on OpenLibrary and I always like mid-century stories about teens getting (or in this case trying to get) married.

How I heard of it: yet another Speaking For Ourselves find. :)

Out of Reach - Carrie Arcos. 2012. Bought on BookOutlet because I thought it was on my TBR (and it wasn’t at my local library), but it wasn’t there when I looked?? Maybe it was at one point and I deleted it. Anyway, still read it because kind of interested in the story of a girl looking for her runaway drug-addict brother on the streets. Also, pretty cover.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Distance Between Lost and Found - Kathryn Holmes. 2015. It’s not the right time of year for hiking inspiration, but I didn’t hike much this year after July anyway so I randomly decided I wanted to read about it regardless.

How I heard of it: library

I Am Princess X - Cherie Priest. 2015. Read a post about it on r/whatsthatbook and was intrigued by: the mystery premise, best friends, and curiosity about how the graphic novel panels would be incorporated.

This Is Not A Love Letter - Kim Purcell. 2018. Loved her first book, have long been interested in the setting of this one while leery of a lecture on racism, but to be honest? I can’t say why without spoilers, but the reason I finally read it is that I vaguely remember hearing how this one ended, and I needed a fictional way to process a similar scenario I’d just heard in celebrity news.

How I heard of it: library

Rain Is Not My Indian Name - Cynthia Leitich Smith. 2001. I’ve known about this semi-classic for a while and have been vaguely interested in reading it as an early Native American #OwnVoices; someone bought it out from under me at a book sale, but luckily Libby had an audiobook!

(side note: I am stubbornly keeping this in YA where it was originally shelved at the library, even if they’ve kicked it to middle grade now. Which is fair since it’s short and she’s 14, the Border Age, but I really dislike the more childish new cover image.)

How I heard of it: I don’t actually remember! I may have seen it at the library back in the day, or maybe I read about it in a book about teen books.

All American Boys - Jason Reynolds & Brendan Kiely. 2015. I don’t read a lot about racism or social (in)justice, but something about this one seemed like it would be unusually accessible. I found a copy in a little free library over the summer, finally remembered I had it while cleaning out the car, and just randomly read it.

How I heard of it: Half Price Books

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CATEGORY THREE: CHILDREN’S/MIDDLE GRADE

Ghetto Cowboy - G. Neri. 2011. I’ve always been vaguely interested because of the horse aspect, but I finally made the effort in order to have an idea of the story before watching the movie based on it.

How I heard of it: library

The Tiny Mansion - Keir Graff. 2020. I put ‘mansion’ into the library catalog keywords because of my general interest in those kinds of settings, but I was equally thrilled to find something unique: a middle grade story about a tiny house?? In a forest setting?? YEAH

How I heard of it: library

Bearstone - Will Hobbs. 1989. Reread of a middle school favorite when I saw there was an audiobook.

The Door in the Wall - Marguerite de Angeli. 1949. Reread of a middle school assignment I’d forgotten I ever read (and barely remembered) when I saw there was an audiobook.

Operation Red Jericho - Joshua Mowll. 2005. Operation Typhoon Shore - Joshua Mowll. 2006. Operation Storm City - Joshua Mowll. 2008.  

I read about the first book on r/whatsthatbook and it sounded like it had the coolest art design ever. It did. Even though I didn’t love the actual stories, I had to finish the trilogy just so I had enough context to keep fully enjoying it.

The Secret of Blandford Hall - Margaret Crary. 1963. It was mostly the map of the 4-acre estate in the front that sold me on this quick-n-easy vintage kids’ mystery, tbh. Literally, sold; I paid $4 since library didn’t have it.

How I heard of it: antique store

Bonny's Boy Returns - F.E. Rechnitzer. 1953. Sequel to a dog book I loved.

How I heard of it: bookfinder.com

Breathing Room - Marsha Hayles. 2012. I haven’t read a lot of books about patients this young being treated for tuberculosis in sanitariums. The local MN setting doubled my interest in this one.

How I heard of it: library

You May Already Be A Winner - Ann Dee Ellis. 2017. Bought for $1 mostly due to the very cute cover + trailer park setting.

How I heard of it: dollar store

Maisie Lockwood Adventures #1: Off the Grid - Tess Sharpe. 2022. In which I lose my mind about the found family in Jurassic World: Dominion, go home intending to google for middle grade novels with this exact family dynamic, learn that licensed fanfiction about this actual family already exists, and immediately pterodactyl-screech “GIVE IT 2 ME!”

How I heard of it: Goodreads

A Patron Saint for Junior Bridesmaids - Shelley Tougas. 2016. Bought cheap because cute cover and title with a local setting; I was curious how she would navigate bridesmaid duties as a 12-year-old.

How I heard of it: used book section of my Barnes & Noble

Water Balloon - Audrey Vernick. 2011. 99% because of the summery cover, 1% because she sounded relatable in being left behind by her friends for not maturing fast enough.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Meant to Be - Jo Knowles. 2022. Sequel to a book I didn’t love, but liked enough to want the full story.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Birdie's Billions - Edith Cohn. 2021. Fantasizing about what I’d do if I found a bunch of money is second only to talking about books in terms of my favorite hobbies. A Goodreads friend read this and I literally went to the library the next day to check it out so I could have full context for deciding what I would do as her.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

All The Things You Are - Courtney Sheinmel. 2011. Found for $1 -- I like this author so I’ll give most any standalone she writes a shot.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Echo Park Castaways - M.G. Hennessey. 2019. Cool cover + foster kids.

How I heard of it: used book sale

When I Hit the Road - Nancy J. Cavanaugh. 2020. I love road trip books!

How I heard of it: Goodreads 

=====================

CATEGORY FOUR: NONFICTION

Living Simply: A Teen Guide to Minimalism  - Sally McGraw. 2019. It was slender and brightly colored and I thought it would be fun to fantasize for a bit that I was a teen again, with only one bedroom’s worth of possessions to sort.

How I heard of it: library

Deep in the Heart of Texas: Reflections of Former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders  - Suzette, Stephanie and Sheri Scholz. 1991.

Obsession with the DCC reality show = time to look for books about cheerleaders’ time there. There didn’t seem to be any from the modern era, so this was as close as I could get to actually hearing about the practices, appearances, etc. (also, someone said it was soapy/scandalous)

How I heard of it: googling keywords

All the Way Home: Building a Family in a Falling-Down House  - David Giffels. 2008.

I will read any memoir you have about fixing up a big ol’ historic house.

How I heard of it: library

Speaking For Ourselves  - ed. David Gallo. 1990. Loved the second volume when I read it last year, finally realized I could get this one through Interlibrary Loan as well. Tell me about prolific authors of teen books and their work from my favorite era of teen lit!

How I heard of it: OpenLibrary

Things I Should Have Said  - Jamie Lynn Spears. 2022. Honestly, I’ve always found her more appealing than her sister, and the world’s Absurd Hatred of this book for daring to exist made me extra-curious about it (and desirous of helping its Goodreads rating), so reading it ASAP became a priority.

How I heard of it: ONTD

Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It?  - Kim & Penn Holderness. 2021. See “teams I fell in love with on The Amazing Race.” I loved their podcasts about it so I started watching their YouTube videos, found out about this audiobook and was like, “A PODCAST I CAN COUNT ON MY READING LIST??”

How I heard of it: YouTube

UnSweetined  - Jodie Sweetin. 2009. I re-fell in love with her on Beyond the Edge, needed more of her ASAP and then vaguely remembered she had written a memoir.

How I heard of it: just...random celebrity news sites back in the day before I was on ONTD regularly

We Are the Baby-Sitters Club: Essays and Artwork from Grown-Up Readers - ed. Marisa Crawford & Megan Milks. 2021.

I was also the BSC!

How I heard of it: Goodreads

I Want To Be Where the Normal People Are  - Rachel Bloom. 2020. It was at the library and I was juuuust curious enough to check for some Crazy Ex-Girlfriend stories.

How I heard of it: ONTD

Made From Scratch: Discovering the Simple Pleasures of a Handmade Life  - Jenna Woginrich. 2008. I was browsing through old reading lists and remembered how much I liked this one. I wanted to read one of her more recent memoirs, and was bummed to find the library didn’t have any of them – but they still had this one! So I checked it out intending to just skim through it, and ended up rereading cover to cover because fascinating info.

How I heard of it: library

Funny Farm: My Unexpected Life With 600 Rescue Animals - Laurie Zaleski. 2021. Rescue animals!!! At an animal rescue!

How I heard of it: Goodreads (but my dad independently recommended it as well; both my parents liked it actually)

The Horseman's Companion  - Margaret Cabell Self. 1949. An old horse book with a cover illustrated by Wesley Dennis, written in an appealing writing style (basically storytelling)? SOLD.

How I heard of it: used book sale

O.C. Undercover  - Brittany Kent. 2004. I love The O.C. and I will read any ridiculous books you have about it.

How I heard of it: used book sale

===========

And that’s it; hope you have enjoyed this special 6-months-late edition of the traditional post.

[calaofnoldor]

Driving My Baby

Characters: Dean x Reader (gender neutral)

Words: 2,183 (i can’t drabble)

Summary: Dean doesn’t know about your mad skills behind the wheel, but it turns out there’s nothing hotter than seeing his baby driving his Baby.

Warnings: implied smut, language, fluff, dean’s bow legs, references to the fast and furious franchise

A/N: was originally gonna post a slightly angsty 2-part dean fic next, but decided against it in light off recent events lol. there’s really no plot or substance here, just some light floof. (and yes, the title is a reference to the song ‘you’re having my baby’)

MASTERLIST

The roar of Baby’s engine rumbled to a halt as Dean glanced over at you, “Alright, so you gonna sit tight while I go scope this place out?”

You sent him a close-lipped smile, trying your best to repress the excitement bubbling within you. “Mhm!” you concurred with a bouncy nod, pausing to sneak a quick peek at his shapely behind when he stepped out of the car, “I’ll try and see if I can get a hold of that morgue guy again.”

Walking over to the passenger side, Dean bent down to kiss you through the open window. “Mmkay, I’ll be back soon,” he mumbled against your lips, before turning to commence his search for the potential vamp hideout you suspected was in the vicinity.

“Oh wait! Dean!” you called out, stopping him in his tracks.

“Yeah?”

“The keys?”

Dean looked down at his pocket where the Impala’s keys were safely nestled and then back up at you with raised brows.

“You’re not gonna leave me in here like a dog, are you?” There was a subtle hint of amusement in your voice, but also a challenging edge, as well as a slight pout which you added for good measure. You knew he could never really say ‘no’ to you.

And as expected, Dean returned to deposit the keys into your waiting hands. You gave him a wide smile in return, “Thank you! Love you!”

Your boyfriend narrowed his glimmering green eyes at you, imparting one last suspicious glimpse in your direction as he grumbled somewhat warily, “Love you too,” and then finally sauntered off for good.

Biting your lip, you watched with bated breath as his figure grew smaller in the rear-view mirror. Normally, you would have enjoyed the exquisite vision of what you often dubbed his ‘sexy ass bow-legged swagger’, but this time, it was when Dean was no longer in sight that a devilish grin broke out across your face.

But really, who could blame you? You’d been a car enthusiast all your life, and classic cars were your weakness. “It’s just you and me now, Baby.” Your fingers glided along the dashboard.

With Sam on the bench due to a broken ankle (courtesy of the werewolf from your last hunt), you and Dean had driven out to Piedmont to take care of this vampire case on your own. So now after two years with the Winchesters, you finally had a chance to explore the front seat of Dean’s Baby, his pride and joy, the glorious, refurbished 1967 Chevy Impala.

When you’d joined forces with the brothers, it was readily agreed upon that you would be better off riding together in the sleek American muscle car, so you ditched your stolen, rusty 2003 Honda Accord and never looked back. Since there was a giant moose to accommodate, you were naturally relegated to the back seat, and rightfully so, but boy, did you miss the thrill of being in the driver’s seat.

You were always a bit of a demon behind the wheel, and it’d been ages since you’d gotten the chance to flex your driving skills. Back when you and Dean first got together, he promised you joyrides (and other recreational activities) in Baby, but the hunting life never seemed to let you get it on.

Sliding across the bench seat, your lungs released a contented sigh as you wrapped your hands around the leather-bound steering wheel. Dean’s bowlegs, however sexy, were not the same length as yours, so you pulled the lever beneath the seat to adjust its position to your liking. Perfect.

You took your time getting to know the ins and outs at the helm of the Impala, though it seemed like none at all had passed when you suddenly heard Dean’s deep voice cry out.

“Y/N!” Your eyes shot up to the rear-view mirror to find an image of the older Winchester running towards the car. “We gotta go!”

Well that’s strange, you thought. Dean never ran – not unless someone, or more often something, was chasing him… Oh shit. Had he somehow woken the vampires? But the sun was still thriving; how much could they retaliate out in the open at this point during the day?

“We gotta get outta here! Now!”

Dean’s voice was much closer now and if you’d learned anything from your experiences hunting with the Winchesters, it was to never doubt your boyfriend’s commands. He was a seasoned pro and possessed instincts like you’d never seen. It’s a good thing you’ve also got some of your own.

Plunging Baby’s key into the ignition, you started the car without hesitation, allowing yourself only a second to relish in the thunderous purr of the engine below you and the incomparable feeling of glee that always sprouted in your chest whenever you were sat at the wheel of a powerful, capable vehicle. Indeed, the adrenaline was already rearing.

As Dean approached the car, you quickly reached over to open the passenger side door for him. “Get in the car!”

“You- Wha-“ Dean stumbled for a split second, so accustomed to taking the driver’s seat. “Y/N, they’re awake and they’ve got bikes – a bunch of Harleys!” he continued to explain, as if that would get you to move out of his designated spot.

“OK, so hurry up!” you yelled again.

Seeing no better option, Dean hastily climbed into the car. Just as he got in, your ears picked up the unmistakable resounding growl of revving motorcycle engines. From the sound of it, they couldn’t be too far off. So when Dean slammed the door shut, your foot came down fast and heavy against Baby’s gas pedal, propelling you forward with an aggressive lurch before you whizzed off, burning rubber and leaving nothing but flying leaves and dust in your wake.

“Jesus!” Dean bellowed; his eyes had grown to about twice their usual size.

You paid him no attention though, too busy reveling in the delightful buzz that vibrated through your body starting from your fingers and toes, where you could feel every unit of Baby’s intoxicating horsepower, and travelling up your limbs until the exhilaration settled deep within your very core.

Stealing a glance at the rear-view mirror, you caught sight of the monster-driven motorcade advancing considerably, so you decided to take the next available turn as an attempt to throw them off. Things were getting truly exciting now.

“Vamps on bikes? Really?! And covered in leather?” you huffed mirthfully with a shake of your head.

But it was Dean’s turn to ignore you. He was clutching at his door tightly, as if afraid your driving might somehow hurl him out of it. In fact, when you took the first corner without warning, Dean just about fell over.

“Woah! Slow down, Toretto!” he shouted in alarm, looking over at you as if you’d grown a second head.

Seeing you’d managed to surprise the vampires with your unexpected maneuver however, a loaded smirk was your only reply.

It took you about twenty minutes to get the vamps off your tail, during which time Dean managed to recover from his initial shock and began instead to absorb your radiant form. The look of exuberance on your face and the utter determination in your bright eyes, mixed with the mischievous tug of your lips, and combined with the all-around liberated and euphoric aura that surrounded you was sexy as hell, not to mention your sheer competence. All of it astounded him and caused his blood to flow to places he could not have foreseen.

You seemed to be completely at one with his esteemed Baby, handling her with perfect control and aptitude, and all the while enjoying yourself so very much. It was something Dean never knew you were capable of, but more so, it was something he never knew he needed.

Dean had always loved how much you loved and appreciated his car, but this made him feel like he was seeing you in a new light; it made him feel like he was falling for you all over again. That devilish glint in your normally kind and virtuous eyes, your ever jubilant and fervent love for life after enduring so much pain and grief, the way you never ceased to amaze and surprise him – it was all gloriously heady and irresistibly addictive. His teeth couldn’t help but pull at his lower lip, emerald eyes glazing over with lust and adoration as he stared over at you in the driver’s seat.

So when you ultimately pulled into an empty clearing, not wanting to lead the vamps straight back to your motel room, Dean was at a loss for words.

“So, a bloodsucking motorcycle gang, huh? Can’t say I’ve seen that before,” you speculated in a cheery, nonchalant tone, feeling perfectly satisfied after your little stunt driving escapade.

Dean, on the other hand, appeared not unlike a fish out of water with his furrowed brows and pouty lips which appeared undecided as to whether they should remain open or closed.

“That was… I just- You-… I don’t even know…” he ran his hands through his hair, pulling the short strands forward roughly, “What just happened?”

You sent him a small, innocent shrug, rather amused at his adorably stuttery response.

“You never told me you could drive like that.”

“You never asked,” you replied truthfully.

“Fuck, Y/N. That was… so… incredibly…”

What? Your curiosity was killing you. Dean’s opinion always mattered to you and at the moment, you could read a myriad of emotions upon his face. He looked stunned and confused, perhaps a bit frightened, but at the same time awed and impressed, and maybe even – were you reading that right? – slightly… aroused?

Dean lowered his voice to answer your unspoken question, “Hot,” he finished emphatically.

You heaved a breathy laugh, “Yeah?”

“Fuck yes! Baby, that was incredible. The way you handled Baby like a fucking pro, the little faces you made when you were living for the thrill of the chase. The skill, the speed, the Tokyo drifting, all of it. Goddamn, you are so sexy when you’re driving my Baby like that.”

“Well that’s a coincidence ‘cause I also happen to find you amazingly sexy when you’re behind this wheel,” you joked lightly, “In fact, I think seeing you drive this car might’ve been part of the reason I fell in love with you.”

“And I think I just fell in love with you all over again,” came Dean’s suave response.

You giggled a bit, but soon sobered when you saw his gorgeous eyes cloud over with wanton desire. One minute you were dwelling in the heavily charged sexual tension that seemed to consume the entire car, watching his gaze wander down to your lips while yours did the same, and in the next your mouths met ferociously as your bodies swooped forwards simultaneously, crashing together in the center of Baby’s front seat.

You moaned into the kiss, your hands finding their way around Dean’s ridiculously broad shoulders and up to his thick neck. When you were forced to come up for air, his lips began to work their way down to your collar bone. “Mmm, god Dean.”

“Seriously baby, that was such a turn on,” he rambled across your skin, “I didn’t even know driving could be so hot.”

Your laughter was really more just an exhalation of air. “Are we finally gonna do it? Are we gonna christen Baby now, thanks to your newfound kink?” you whispered salaciously, your brain already presenting obscene images of the two of you re-enacting something akin to the infamous Titanic scene.

Dean paused for a moment, allowing you to rip off his outer layers with relish before he brought his large hands up to cup your cheeks. “See I wouldn’t call it ‘newfound’,” he started, dazzling forest orbs boring into your soul, “Cause I’m pretty sure it only turns me on when it’s you behind the wheel, and I’ve always had a kink for you.”

You stare at him in disbelief, unable to keep the smile off your face, “You are such a smooth fucker sometimes, Dean Winchester.” And with that, your lips and bodies collided yet again. His strong hands held you impossibly close while yours ran joyously across his expansive chest before travelling down to find the zipper of his jeans.

“Ungh, wait a sec,” you pulled back a little with knitted brows, a playfully incredulous tone taking over your voice, “Did you call me Dominic Toretto earlier?”

“Well, yeah. You were driving like a madman!” Dean exclaimed candidly.

You smirked, “So does that make you Letty Ortiz?”

“Sweetheart, I will gladly be the Letty to your Dom anytime you want… I still can’t believe you just took me on a high-speed car chase, that was fucking awesome! Just wait ‘til Sam hears about this one!”

Laughing as you pulled him back in, you shut him up with your tongue as it invaded his mouth, pausing only to smile against his luscious lips, “Mmm, well maybe he doesn’t have to hear about this next part?”

A/N #2: thank you so much for reading, feedback always appreciated! oh and here’s a look at some new stuff at lexicolor.redbubble.com :)

[dork-empress]

Singing In The Dead Of Night Ch 2

Harley and Barman set up a playdate for their wards.

forgive the long post, i'll edit and clean it up when im home. chapter can also be found on my ao3, url in the description.

Harley made it back home, which was actually the manor of some billionaire who only really used the house for tax purposes. Harley had taken it over when Lucy came to live with her, deciding she needed more room, and they quickly changed it to suit their needs.

“Luuuucyyyy, I’m hooooome,” Harley called out to the manor, heading through the living room/gymnasium.

Lucy was balancing on the beam by her hands. “Never heard that one before.” She went into the splits and stayed on one hand.

Harley looked over her form. “Point your toes more...there ya go.” Lucy did as recommended. “I got candy for dinner!” She dumped her stolen lollipops on the table.

“I already ate, Aunt Harley,” she said, “I made extra pasta if you want.” She pointed over to the kitchen, before switching hands and flipping herself over.

“Oh,” Harley said, going over to make a plate, but feeling like ants were crawling in her skin. “You know, you don’t have to call me your aunt when it’s just the two of us,” She said, swirling her fork through the noodles.

Lucy shrugged, “Force of habit. Plus it’s a good idea in general, ya know, in case someone’s secretly listening in or we mess up some other time.”

Harley shrugged her shoulders. “Makes sense,” and it did, but it still kind of hurt. “You can have the lollipops for dessert though. You like cherry?” She tossed her the red candy.

Lucy looked down at the wrapper a second. “Can’t, I’m allergic to the red dye.”

“Oh,” Harley said, silently cursing herself. That was something that mothers should know about their kids, allergies and crap. “Well. Lemon then?”

“Sure!” They traded the lollipops, and Harley sucked on hers between bites of the pasta. Sweet and savory combined, delicious.

Lucy swung her legs as she sat on the beam. “Does...my father have any allergies?”

Harley blinked at her. Did Joker have any allergies? It was hard to say. Even now, Harley didn’t know a lot about the Joker. That’s how he liked it. “Best not to talk about it,” she said instead, “In case of those listening things or whatever.”

Lucy hummed, but didn’t seem satisfied. “Hey,” Harley said, trying to distract her from the ‘dad’ talk, “You wanna go out with me tomorrow?”

Lucy brightened, jumping a bit, “Where are you gonna go?”

“I dunno,” she said, “Go lookin’ for trouble. Let the trouble find me. Punch out a couple people but only if they REALLY deserve it!” And maybe if they only kinda deserved it, Harley thought.

Lucy hummed again, thinking. “I dunno. I think violence often begets further violence, and while it is occasionally necessary, efforts should focus more on the community building and personal improvement area.”

Harley blinked at her. Right, she was a reader, Delia had mentioned that. Not unlike Harley at her age, really, although Harley had focused on psychoanalysis instead of philosophy. “Ah, of course,” she said, “Well, what do you wanna do?”

Lucy thought for a second. “Well, there was this girl I wanted to go inspire to fight her eating disorder.”

“Oh,” Harley said nodding. It was a noble cause, really, but...also seemed really, really boring. “I...sure!” she smiled.

The truth was, when Lucy came out to live with Harley full time, she had really thought they would be a lady dynamic duo, a proper partnership mother/daughter team. But Lucy wasn’t much like Harley. Or, she was but, she was different, a goody two-shoes. Or, a goody tutu. Ha.

More than that, she followed a strange sense of logic that was oddly reminiscent of...Harley didn’t even finish the thought.

“You don’t want to go, do you?” Lucy asked.

“Hmm? Of course I do!” Harley said, “I’d do anything with you sweetheart,” she gave Lucy a wink, then went to the kitchen to hide her facial expression.

She didn’t see that Lucy had followed her until she was directly behind her. “Oh, Jesus!” She said, clutching her heart, “Gotta look out there, sweetie. Almost brained ya!”

“Is Dad like me at all?” she asked, head tilted to the side.

Harley blinked at her. She felt like her bones were shaking inside her skin. “Why would you ask a thing like that?”

Lucy spun a little in place making her tutu swish. “I’ve been reading about him. People think he’s crazy. I mean, he says it. But that’s not what your records say.”

Harley frowned, backing away as though physical distance would get her out of the conversation. “What’re you goin through my records for? What, are you a snoop?”

“They got published after one of your arrests,” Lucy said, “Other people were more interested in the little notes you left in the margins, but--”

“Alright, stop.” Harley said, hand clutching her lollipop stick so tight it might break. “Look, Mr...your father is mean and cruel and manipulative, and nothing like you! He wants to drive other people crazy, and for some people, self included, he succeded. But I grew out of it as best I could and now...you don’t need to worry about him, ok? He ain’t ever gonna know about ya, and he ain’t ever gonna find ya. Got it?”

Lucy hesitated a second and there was something strange in her eyes. Something familiar. “Got it,” she finally said.

Harley lightened, smiling at her. “Why don’t we play a game or somethin? You like Monopoly? I make up my own rules!”

Lucy smiled, “That sounds nice,” she said, all bright again. As they set up the game, Lucy said, “You don’t have to come with me tomorrow, by the way. I can take care of myself.”

“You sure?” Harley asked. Lucy nodded. For the rest of the evening, Harley felt like something was…off.

She slipped the burner phone out of her pocket. She typed, ‘Wanna set up a playdate?’

“She called it a WHAT?!” Damian said, nose wrinkled in disgust.

“Aww,” Tim said, over by the batcave computer, “Little Damian’s got a plaaayydaaate.”

“I will end you, Drake.” Damian snarled, fingers twitching for his sword.

“Enough,” Bruce interrupted the both of them. “Damian, if it helps you can think of it as a mission.”

“I thought I was forbidden from Robin duties for the next two months.” Damian said, arms crossed.

Bruce groaned. “Harley has taken in a ward, her niece Lucy. She has some petty crime charges, but from my recon, she’s not a villain. Harley wants her to spend time with someone her age, and I need someone who will watch over her.”

“Watch out for her, or watch out because of her?” Damian asked, scowling.

“Oooh, good question,” Tim said, still at the computer. “Hey, how come you didn’t set me up with vigilante kids?”

“Because you found them on your own,” Bruce shot back, “Look. Damian, you just have to spend the day with her. Follow her around, help her out as long as it’s not hurting anyone. Don’t let her get killed. Invite Jon if you want.”

“Uggh, Jon’s off world with his Dad,” Damian said.

“Oh right,” Bruce said, massaging his temple. “Why do interdimensional crises have to happen at the worst times?”

“Why is it we need a plural for interdimensional crisis?” Tim asked.

Bruce gave him a side glance to let him know he was coming up on the line that breached from ‘annoying’ to ‘problem Bruce will deal with.’ “Damian…”

“Fine, I’ll do it,” he said, “But I won’t be her friend by you forcing us.”

“Fine.”

They met up with Harley at a neutral location downtown on top of a party goods store. “Hiya Batsy, Hey Bird Boy!”

Despite himself, Damian liked Harley. She was usually of a like mind about which villains did or didn’t deserve to live, but he didn’t tell Batman that. “Harley,” Batman said, “Where’s your niece?”

“Just doin some high-wire practice.” Harley said, “Lucy-goosey!”

From the side of the building, a girl faulted up from where she was hanging on the flagpole. A girl wearing a tutu and white paint. “Nice to meet you, Batman,” Lucy said, “Aunt Harley’s told me….a lot of mixed things.”

“YOU!” Damian said, before he could stop himself, and all three of the others turned to him.

Lucy trotted forward on her tiptoes. “Have we met?” She asked, tilting her head, and looking him up and down.

Damian swallowed. “Uhh….”

“Blackbird!” Lucy said, and swooped him up into a hug, “Oh, I knew you were a Robin, why’d you lie to me?”

“Blackbird, huh?” Batman said, and he couldn’t see, but he knew there was a very pointed eyebrow being raised at him.

Damian, still being swung like a ragdoll by Lucy, tried to gain his balance. “I didn’t...I mean I wasn’t…”

“We’ll talk about this later,” Batman said, “You kids go on, I have something to talk about with Harley.”

“Kids?!” Damian said, offended, especially that he was going to be left out of whatever this conversation was. But in doing so, he left himself vulnerable as Lucy pulled on his cowl to the edge of the building.

“Come on, birdy, whatever color you are. The city awaits!” And she jumped from the roof, grappling on outcroppings to reach the street safely. Damian grumbled, but eventually followed.

Harley looked to Batman, and her face fell. “He’s out there, isn’t he?”

Batman gave one slow nod.

Lucy skipped everywhere. It was very irritating, because it was faster than walking, but slower than running, so hard to keep pace. Also,it was just very perky, which made it hard to sulk.

Lucy claimed she had deliveries to make around town. Something about girls who were bullies in high school and were treating others poorly, but it was only because of the societal pressures that were put on young girls of America and...and thats about where Damian lost interest.

She carried a cartfull of boxes like a damn girlscout, and left them on the girls doors. Damian could have followed in his sleep...except there was something about one of the boxes….

“What’s in that one?” Damian asked as she brought it to the next home.

“Huh?” Lucy said, “Same thing as in all of them, some cookies, a letter, balloons of course and--”

“It’s beeping,” Damian said.

“What?”

Damian didn’t wait any longer, he grabbed the box out of her arms and tossed it as high into the sky as he could, tackling her to the ground. The box then exploded.

Lucy gasped in excitement, clapping her hands together. “Birdy, look at it! It’s fireworks!”

Damian growled, jumping off of her and taking out his sword. “I knew it, I knew you were up to no good.”

Lucy tilted her head. “Whatcha talkin about, Birdy?”

“You--” He pointed to where the box was still smoldering. “You were going to put a BOMB on that girl’s doorstep!”

“I didn’t put that there,” Lucy said, getting up with no care of the sword pointed at her.

“You-” Damian stammered. “What?”

Lucy bent down and picked up a scrap of paper from the ruins. “Change of plans for the evening, Birdy!” Lucy said, “We’re going puzzling!”

She tossed the paper at him and he grabbed it quickly. It read ‘I’ve the tallest of trunks and thickest of stumps, a switch in the breeze, but I’m no tree. What am I?’”

They came quickly to the elephant pasture at the zoo. Damian couldn’t help it, he held out his hand for the elephant. She reached out her trunk and wrapped it around him. He couldn’t help but laugh.

Her baby came forward this time, trotting on new steps. He was already the size of a small horse, but he stole Damian’s heart all the same. He tried to bowl Damian over like a large puppy, and Damian couldn’t help but laugh. “Didn’t know you could laugh, Birdy,” Lucy said, kneeling over a shady patch in the enclosure.

Damian’s scowl returned. “Stop calling me ‘Birdy,’” he said, “You can just say ‘Robin,’ if you want.”

“But aren’t there other Robins?” Lucy said, fiddling with something, “I’d love to call you something unique to you.”

“There’s already a Blackbird, you know.” Damian said, continuing to pet the baby elephant.

“There is?” Lucy asked, “Picking a superhero name is HARD. I’m still trying to get Commedia to stick. You know, like, Commedia del arte? But I’ll end up getting called ‘Tutu girl’ or something if I don’t watch out.”

Damian gently pushed the elephant away, seeing what she was doing. She was hands deep in another box like the one they’d found in her cart. “Careful, it could be another bomb.”

“Fireworks,” Lucy corrected, “and I already diffused it.”

Damian leaned down, looking. She had indeed done so, quite efficiently. “How did you know to do that?”

Lucy smiled, “An uncle of mine taught me. You’ll meet him.” She dug further into the box. “I wouldn’t mind some more fireworks, but I don’t want to scare the elephants.” She pulled out another slip of paper.

“This has all the hallmarks of The Riddler,” Damian said, “We have to be careful. He might have bombs all over the city.”

“Fireworks!” Lucy corrected again, “And, probably. See, we already have the next clue!” She waved the paper and read out “Can you hear me make a sound, only when you are around.”

“Of course you can only hear things when you’re around.” Damian said, frowning.

“But only when someone’s around does it make a...Oh!” Lucy said, jumping to her feet, “An echo! We have to go somewhere there’s an echo!”

Damian sighed, “I have an idea.”

Technically they weren’t IN the Bat cave. They were at a far entrance to it, another end of the cave system. So he wasn’t breaking any rules. “Hey, is that Wayne Manor?” Lucy asked. “I tried to break in there once, but they have some crazy rich person security system.”

“Funny that.” Damian said, trying to seem completely ordinary.

Lucy stood at the edge of the cave and yelled into it. “ECHO!” listening for the echo in return. She skipped into the cave, humming all the way, the sound bouncing off as she went.

“Lucy?” Damian said, following her, “Don’t go too far, there’s all sorts of--” He heard a squeal and rushed forward.

He stopped short, his flashlight falling on Lucy. She waved at him to put it down, squinting. “Look here!” She brushed aside some dirt to find some rusted over metal. “Isn’t it fascinating! This cave system must go on for miles! Maybe people hid treasure there!”

“It’s just the old mining system,” Damian said, truthfully. “It’s all blocked off.”

“That can’t be hard to undo,” Lucy said, intrigued by whatever lay beyond.

Damian grabbed her hand before she could continue. “We have to catch the Riddler. There has to be another package here.”

Lucy sighed, but nodded. She took his arm with the flashlight and swung him around the cave. “Ah! There.”

She took the package and skipped out of the cave. “Careful!” Damian urged. “Come on, just diffuse it.”

“Nope, not these ones.” She tossed the package high in the sky, and Damian saw the fireworks light up.

He felt his phone buzzing, no doubt Tim could hear an explosion out here, not to mention Alfred. They’d come investigating fast enough. He leaped up, grabbing the fallen slip of paper, and grabbed Lucy again to pull her along. He read it quickly and passed it to her as he made his way away. “Even in the city scape, nature comes to take its place.” Lucy read. “It must be the park!”

l,

“No,” Damian said, still pulling her, “I mean, yes, that is the answer to the riddle, but that’s not where we’re going.” He texted the police to inform them of the location of the hidden package so they could diffuse it, and dragged Lucy away.

The original Gotham Ice Cream shop was one of the oldest remaining buildings in Gotham, although was clearly closed for the night.

Damian saw a flash of green from the kitchens and rushed inside, finding none other than the Riddler standing there. “Stand down, Riddler,” Damian said, holding out his sword, “We’ve got you now!”

Riddler snarled, backing into a defensive stance. “Robin! How did you possibly find me?”

Damian smirked, “The beginning of each clue was clearly spelling out your final location. I-C-E. I didn’t need to follow 5 more clues to figure that out.”

Riddler cursed. “Those clues weren’t for you! They were for--!”

Lucy came skipping up to join Damian. “Hi, Uncle Eddy!”

“Lucille!” Riddler said, immediately warming. “I had so many sights around Gotham for you to see, why’d you go skipping to the end?”

Lucy skipped up to him, and Damian was once again left dumbfounded. “My friend Birdy here isn’t much for riddles, I think,” she said, “Although he enjoyed the elephants! And he knew about the mining carts in the caves, I want to explore those later.”

‘Uncle Eddy’ hugged Lucy, and Damian came to his senses, “THIS is your uncle?!”

Lucy shrugged, “I mean, that’s what I call him. I met him when I was visiting Aunt Harley a few years ago.”

“I heard you had moved to Gotham full time,” Riddler said, “I wanted to be sure you saw the sights. But the bat-brats have to ruin everything I suppose.” Riddler glared at him, and he glared right back.

“I don’t-” Damian started, but cut himself off, “You can’t just be leaving BOMBS around the city!”

“Fireworks!” Lucy and Riddler both corrected.

“Whatever! They’re explosive and they’re dangerous!” Damian hated having to be the safety one. It felt wrong.

Riddler rolled his eyes. “He’s just as much a barrel of laughs as the big one.”

“Aw, he’s sweet, really,” Lucy said, coming over to Damian and linking their arms. “Aunt Harley and Batman set us up on our own little playdate.”

“It is NOT!” Damian said, squirming away from her, “It is NOT a playdate.”

“Uncle Eddy, can my friend Birdy have some Ice Cream too?” Lucy asked, ignoring him.

Riddler and Damian glared again. “Fine.” He pushed his own bowl of ice cream towards Damian and went to get his own. “It’s MYSTERY flavor!”

Damian looked at it hesitantly as Lucy sat down to enjoy. Riddler went back to the kitchen. “It’s coconut,” Lucy said, “But Uncle Eddy likes to think it’s a mystery, so I let him.”

Damian frowned at her. “You’re really weird.”

“Thank you!” Lucy said, patting the seat beside her. “Come on, even you had to admit you had fun today.”

Damian thought about the elephants, and skipping around with Lucy, and watching the fireworks at the mouth of the cave, and seeing her all excited about mining carts for some reason. “Fine,” he said, “But it’s NOT a playdate.”

“Alright, alright,” Lucy said, digging into her ice cream. “Just a regular date then.”

“I--” Damian started, his head exploding with so many protests that he ended up just short circuiting. Lucy continued chowing down on ice cream like she didn’t say anything of importance. So, Damian just sat beside her, and ate his own.

[jaggedwolf]

air support, we need you (or: tscosi 2x09)

some bomb dropping, ofc, spoilers below duh

same game, top three things i had feelings ‘bout in reverse order

3. time skip time! Everyone could use a bit of a breather, even if it can’t live up to Arkady’s goat farm dreams

I thought all the planet assignments made sense, even if the completionist in me wanted it to differ more from the split that had already happened this season

ok ok the shipper in me was 50-50 but we’ll address that later

2. my man park!! is back!!! 

Showing up with an anti-aircraft missile launcher as a wedding gift. I kept joking that Park would keep up his finale trend of showing up as a surprise being cool (as cool as Park can be anw), and thought it wouldn’t happen till it did!

and him also quietly saying the defector wasn’t Shelly....Park...are you going to talk about this...

narrowly avoided extended crew singing for the third time, will he keep up this success rate?

I would take a mini-episode that just followed Park in the second half of the season (Park: I am an independent man who needs no crew)

1. Arkady attacking Krejjh because she thinks they’re an enemy, AND then McCabe pulling a gun on her to make sure she didn’t run away. Bro. Bro, that shit was a direct hit to the id. Do I even have words for how good that was

Knowing what was about to happen as soon as Arkady said “You” in that tone of voice, ugh

Krejjh saying Arkady instead of First Mate Patel in desperation, and then brushing it off with a :D after

But god, McCabe. They’ve been so compelling this season, and yeah, maybe they’re approaching everything like a nail with the hammer they’ve got that shoots bullets, but the point is, it fuckin works 

Arkady buys the threat (the promise of her crew’s safety?) more than she buys Krejjh’s reassurances 

(though reading the transcript, Krejjh specifically telling Arkady “Science Officer Liu will never forgive you”, not “forgive us”, is excellent too)

“the only authority figures yet to disappoint me” / “I’m not an authority figure” / “you don’t get to decide that” is just like. embedded in my mind. just McCabe going no, you don’t get to run verbally either.

Do you ever think about how Arkady and McCabe had like, different kinds of fucked up childhoods compared to the rest of the crew. Like obviously McCabe ending up an agent so young and the stuff about their family suggests a pretty secure background, but it feels like the IGR and Dwarnian war starting when they were 12 gives them a kind of cynicism that meshes well with Arkady’s, in a way that’s distinct from how Arkady and Violet’s morbidness mesh, or Arkady and Sana’s pragmatism

ok more character feels under the cut

don’t scandalize the grandparents

A married man! 

Impressed he made it through the season with no baddies wrecking his oxygen

Always ready to point out that Arkady is actually as much of a nerd as he is

AKA I didn’t realize it was a Mozart reference till he said so. Arkady defies the jock-nerd chart

okay who of Arkady or Krejjh is gonna tell him about MMA fight outside, or did they do a whole team debrief. For Arkady’s sake I’m hoping not the latter, though I guess everyone else would like an explanation for McCabe’s gun-pointing??

likes solving problems without guns, would prefer solving them by FLYING SPACESHIPS 

Krejjh watches McCabe’s gun strategy work on Arkady and goes “do you folks really live like this?? why???”

I do love that their first thought on what to do next is to run a bunch of supplies around, probably between human populations that are going to be a wary at seeing a dwarnian show up. (Eat it, Eejjhgreb)

Kinda wonder if their feelings about getting choked out by their buddy are in fact more complicated than “it’s chill dude, please don’t do something stupid”

The cutest vow

who needs to calm down your crewmates with annoying words when you can just point a gun at them

Seriously where is the human-dwarnian war AU where it lasts longer or happens later where McCabe is the baby sniper posted to Arkady’s unit and they squabble a bunch (and perhaps kiss? When I wrote my third ever ficlet for this fandom never did I anticipate actually being interested in that)

what % of their Mirzakhani choice was thinking “what if Arkady tries to run from the goat farm and no one’s around to point a gun at her” jk jk

Their exclusion of Park from authority figures that didn’t disappoint them is fascinating. Is it that he left hoping for Shelly when it probably wasn’t her, or that he isn’t an authority figure anymore, a combination there of?

Or worst of all, is it that when he didn’t kill Krejjh back in 1x10, that really was a disappointment, no matter how much it might’ve been mixed with relief, and you can’t undo that moment?

What if they and Park talked. But I don’t think Park is going to goat planet, so that seems unlikely.

Their apology to Sana for heightened Martineau security! And Sana reiterating the profound gratefulness bit, gah

mostly read other people’s words and yet sparked consideration of two different OT3s, her power.

you know what, everyone deciding Sana is the best person to read words makes complete sense

There was one specific moment this episode that sent my mind into a tizzy about V/A/S, and it was Arkady going FINE GO ASK THE CAPTAIN THEN at how firm Violet was that Tripathi would be the one driving her, not Arkady.

I need you to understand that my V/A/S OT3 opinions are such that my shipping feels were more set off by that than Sana and Violet telling Arkady they were proud of her for choosing goat planet or whatever, like I don’t even know what dynamic was so captured by that argument, rip at Arkady having to be systems apart from them again

Though ofc my heart was buoyed by Sana’s earnest “Kady, you do more than that”, I want these two to go do a job together again, I miss that

To shift gears, I cannot believe “Lenny” started out as Sana being absolutely furious at the people threatening her crew and has ended up a teasing in-joke between her and Park, my Sana/Park shipping feels were very content. (When does Sana learn that Park didn’t get to hear the long list of fake crimes the Rumor crew specifically confessed to Lenny? This must be fixed. Tell him about the diamonds!)

Campbell said “Park, let me show you where we’ve been sleeping.” and my brain went. Wait. This is actually a good OT3?? Park is already unnerved by Sana’s earnest captaining, he should get unnerved by Campbell’s default magnanimity, please consider this

this is also where I point out that all these major characters have very convenient names for indicating ships solely via letters. V/A! B/K! S/P/C! This may solve my ot3 tagging problem...

get off that cotton candy boat, vi

Haha I loved that line from Doc Robinson she’s so no-nonsense, love Violet agreeing to work with her

Doc also said menders and I thought about this post again and also the team split and ahhh

But no, I very much liked Violet gently crushing Arkady’s goat farm dreams, and the two of them awkwardly discussing the very awkward stage things are at while still getting a feel for how the other operates

These nerds are trying and I’m still fond of them

at some point I was gonna make fun of Vi for not being able to drive before realising 1. she probably didn’t want to deprive the others of a vehicle 2. that would be incredibly hypocritical of me

wait does the igr have excellent public transport when they aren’t bombing it i take back every bad thing i’ve said abou-

*ahem* same question about the MMA fight debrief I had for Brian, it would be so funny if the situation was so rushed that like, Arkady+McCabe explain to Brian on the farm and Krejjh has to tackle everyone else

tick, tock, walking bomb, when it stops, nobody knows

arkady is so whumpable, and this show knows it

Redundant, but love how terrified of herself she is after hurting Krejjh and how strangely reassured she is by McCabe’s gun antics. And how she doesn’t like thinking of herself as an authority figure on the ship even though she literally is as First Mate

is ready to monologue about all major life events and the crew frickin knows it

is trying to help herself and stuff, still grumbling about it. in worse shape this season than last - probably all the constant discussion of the inevitable war just kept building stuff up and she kept ignoring it because haha who wants to deal with this prickly mess of a person haha

did i mention she’s the best

hope she gets her full goat farm dream one day, even if it’s not on actual goat farm

[3mmafr0st]

Hard to Hate Chapter 2

Fred Weasley x Reader

Word Count: 1678 Warnings: Swearing, angst, enemies to lovers, eventual smut? Taglist: @intpeach​ @aria-dne​ @allthebestmenarefictional​ Ask me if you want to get added to the list! Chapter 1, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15,

Read the Russian translation Here

The smell of cut grass permeated the air as I took a deep breath in. The moments before practice were always the best, the still static feeling in the air. Quidditch was my only escape from what plagued my mind. Suddenly I was jostled out of my state of calm by a rough hit to the shoulder by Marcus Flint. 

“Get your head in the game, Lestrange, we’re gonna need it for the match against Gryffindor.”

“Like I’m the one whose going to need it, Flint.” Everyone knew that I was the best chaser on the team, but Snape, as much as he loved me for being a Slytherin who was good at potions, he was a raging sexist. He probably had some trauma or something, but that was no excuse, and for that reason, Flint was captain. Sadly, I had to take orders from this absolute asshole. We ran drills for about an hour. I was just getting into my groove. Every drill was executed perfectly. We were going through drill number twenty-eight again, which was my favorite, as it meant Flint had to relinquish the quaffle for the first time in a while. Warrington passed it to me, and I quickly zoomed down the pitch towards the goal posts, faking twice and then throwing it right through the hoop as Flint caught the rebound. Everything was perfect and I gave Warrington a quick high five. I celebrated a little as we set ourselves up for the next drill, when all of a sudden, something struck my chest. 

The force of the bole made me lose my grip on my broom for a split second and I tilted over, plummeting out of the sky. Panic began to set in as I reached out for my broom, quickly grabbing it and flying back down to the ground, back to safety. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins, and I finally looked down at my chest to process what had happened. A splattering of red and gold paint littered the front of my uniform. I turned around to see Cassius hitting the ground, hard, and I ran over to him. He groaned, turning towards me, the same red and gold patterning splayed over his uniform. Marcus flew to the ground, being covered with paint as well. I knew immediately who it was. 

“You absolute dicks!” I screamed, looking around frantically. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as my top two suspects, along with a few others, ran towards the exit that headed to Gryffindor tower. I looked to Flint to make sure that he had Warrington, and then ran after them, abandoning my broom, wand in hand.

I was already so far behind them, but I knew exactly where they were going to be. I stormed my way up to Gryffindor tower, but came to a problem getting in, the painting that guards the entrance of their common room. It took me a minute to figure out exactly how to get her to let me in. Her singing could be heard all the way down the hall, and everyone in Hogwarts knew that flattery would get you everywhere with the Fat Lady. I walked up to the portrait and began the compliments, telling her all about how amazing her voice is, how good she sounded. 

“Well, clearly you aren’t Gryffindor but I like you, come in,” She told me. The minute I passed the portrait, the facade fell, and my fury settled. 

“Weasley, get your ass down here this instant!” I yelled, making one of the younger kids, Creevey I think, stick his fingers in his ears. I hear shuffling upstairs and it didn’t take long to see Percy Weasley, Head Boy of Gryffindor, dragging his two younger brothers down the stairs. It amazes me that the two of them are somehow related. 

“I know they did something obviously, but what happened?” 

“These two almost killed Warrington with their stupid prank!” 

“Oh come on, Lestrange, he wasn’t that high up,” Percy smacked Fred in the back of the head and looked back to me.

“I’ll be taking them back to McGonagall right away, thank you for letting me know.”

“That is not what’s going to happen here, locomota wibbly!” All three of the Weasley boys fell to the ground, as their legs failed underneath them.

“That’s it Lestrange, you’re in for it!” Percy exclaimed, his voice cracking from the sheer anger halfway through the sentence. 

“No, Weasley, I don’t think I am,” I mused, as I left the common room, shutting the door behind me. I said goodbye to the Fat Lady, before hurrying off to my own common room. 

Once I made it back, I shut the door behind me quickly, and leaned my back up against the door, just a little out of breath from sprinting down that many stairs. 

“What the hell happened to you?” Melody was sitting in the common room as always, waiting for me to come back from practice so we could study and get our homework finished. “You’re early, and a mess, so something must have happened.”

“The Weasley twins decided to grace us with their presence during practice, took Warrington right out of the sky,” Mel’s hand immediately goes to cover her mouth in shock.

“They really did that, that’s a lot coming from them.”

“Not really, it’s only a step further than what they normally do. It was only a matter of time before they pulled something as stupid as this.” The two of us laughed and talked for a little while, just like normal, with dumb contemplative questions and talking about muggle stuff. Ever since the third year, Mel has been teaching me all about the muggle world, everything out there is just so interesting and amazing. Strange, if you think about it, the daughter of the two most prolific Death Eaters known and a muggle born witch being best friends. The two of us jumped out of our seats as loud knocking and banging could be heard from the outside of the Slytherin common room. I looked around for a minute, my eyes wide. 

“Ms Lestrange, you are to come out here this instant!” The shrill, angry voice of Professor McGonagall was muffled by the stone walls. 

“What the hell did you do?” Mel’s voice was in that whisper yell that kinda made you panic a little more than you should. 

“I may have made a stop at Gryffindor tower before I came back here.” Mel smacked me in the back of the head and I couldn’t help but whisper yell a little “Ow!”

“You’re an idiot sometimes, you know that? Go and answer McGonagall, running and hiding is only going to prolong the inevitable, hell, it’ll probably make it worse.” I rolled my eyes at her, even though I knew she was right. I sighed and got up to open the door. 

“Good evening, Professor, what can I do for you?”

“My office, Ms Lestrange, immediately.”  And with that, she turned around and began to walk towards her office. I followed behind, internally panicking about the inevitable punishment that I would be getting because of what I did, not that I regretted a thing, it was totally worth it. 

The minute I stepped into the office, the fog of tension was so thick that if it was real, I wouldn’t be able to see three feet in front of me. Percy, Fred, and George all sat on the other side of McGonagall’s desk, each with their own brand of scowl. I walked over to them, but just far enough away from the brothers to feel comfortable. McGonagall walked behind the desk and sat in her chair, the same color of green velvet as her robes. 

“So does anyone want to explain to me why we’re here, or do I have to do that as well?” Her eyes were accusing, making me yearn to just walk out that door. Of course, Percy spoke up. 

“Earlier this evening, Ms Lestrange stormed into the Gryffindor common room yelling for quote “Weasley.” So by default, I thought of the twins, who are known for causing general trouble and mischief. When I came downstairs with the two, she informed me that the two knocked Cassius Warrington off his broom during a prank the twins pulled at their quidditch practice. When I told her that I would turn the two of them into you, Professor, she proceeded to hex all three of us and leave us in the common room.”

“Thank you. Mr Weasley, now, does anyone else wish to add to the information being presented?” I tried to hold my tongue, but.I couldn’t help it.

“Professor, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but with how high up Cassius was, combined with the paint filled balloons being launched at us, the two of us both fell off of our brooms. I was quick enough to get back on and land safely, but if Cassius hadn’t landed like he did, he could have been seriously injured or worse.” Once I started the sentence, I just couldn’t stop. Fred looked as if he was going to try and say something but George gave him a look that said,’don’t you dare,’ and he stopped in his tracks. 

“Mr’s Fred and George Weasley will both be getting two weeks detention for this, and Ms Lestrange, one week, is that clear?” McGonagall said, clearly not wanting to deal with this any longer. I wanted to argue that two weeks detention was not an equal or fair punishment for near murder but I held my tongue, just wanting to leave. 

“After classes, you will all be reporting to the Transfiguration room, is that clear:” I nodded and so did the twins. The professor dismissed all of us, and I left as fast as I could, not wanting to be near them for longer than I had to. 

I guess I had five hours of the Weasley twins to look forward to tomorrow, absolutely bloody brilliant.

[lovemybluebully]

Danger Room Level 1

Posted this at the beginning of the year on my DA account. Thought I’d throw it up on here. This was my first Wolverine tickle pic in 4 years! O_O

https://www.deviantart.com/lovemybluebully/art/Danger-Room-Level-1-865337680

Wrote a little story to go along with it.

Story is below the ‘Keep Reading’ line.

*/M Tickle Fic (Obviously lol) "Any other surprise challenges for me today, bub? Or is that all ya got?" Wolverine smirked confidently up at the team leader of the X-men, glancing over his shoulder at the pile of rubble consisting of destroyed weaponry and dismembered sentinels and robots of all sizes. Cyclops only sighed as he shook his head and looked down at the Canadian brawler from the control room of their training facility, having exhausted almost every combination of attacks that he could think to throw at him.

These scenarios of Wolverine slicing and dicing up every obstacle and foe were quite predictable and honestly getting a tad boring to watch over and over. Scott decided it was time to try something a little different. "No, this just isn't working. These upper level programs are just all foreseeable for you. Lets try something new. I say we scrap everything and start over from scratch. How about we start you at level 1?"

Logan's smirk disappeared as he frowned up at the other man. "Level 1? Yer kiddin' me, right? That's the program the Professor uses to train the kiddies."

"Trust me Logan it'll be perfect for you. Since you've always skipped over the bottom levels you'll have no idea what they contain so you won't be able to predict them so easily. Hell I don't even know myself exactly what is on each level, but lets give it a shot! Maybe we'll both learn something." Scott actually wasn't lying since he himself had been too competent for those beginner programs when he had joined the X-men. It was likely that Logan would just blow right through them, but he was curious and quite frankly desperate for a change of pace. "Fine. But this is gonna be just a waste o' time," Logan grumbled as he lazily stretched out his arms and cracked his neck. "Don't underestimate the Danger Room and dismiss this program so easily. It may be aimed towards the less experienced, but should still provide its own formidable experience. Remember to stay alert and don't let your guard down." Wolverine just scoffed and blew off his advice like he normally did. "Yeah whatever Slim. Lets get on with it."

"Ok great. Now just a moment here. I'm initiating level 1....," Scott uttered with some fast typing on the control board before pressing one final button, "Now." They waited for a few quiet moments, but nothing happened. Logan was about to quip some sarcastic remark when finally the Danger Room began to show some activity. A compartment on the wall opened and two gloved robotic hands being controlled by metal tentacles began to slowly make their way over to him. Logan snorted in disbelief and shook his head as he looked over the two appendages and noted that they were not holding any kinds of weapons; basically looking completely harmless.

"That's it? This is ridiculous. What's next, a pillow fight? Not that I expected this crap to be any kinda challenge whatsoever," Logan rolled his eyes as he raised his hands into the air and released his deadly claws; ready to dispatch the advancing robot hands with a quick swipe once they closed in. Not even a second later he quickly found his arms ensnared as two metal tentacles had crept in from behind to successfully restrain him much to Logan's shock. He growled as he tried to slice at the tentacles with his sharp claws, but they firmly held his arms away from each other just above his head. The distraction had been just enough that he barely had time to notice that the gloved hands had now reached him as one of them wasted not a moment to grab hold of the hem of his uniform's shirt and roughly jerk it upwards, exposing his bare stomach.

"Hey! What is...?!" He shouted in confusion; his words cut off as the other hand immediately shot forward and buried it's furiously wriggling digits right into his muscular belly.

Logan hadn't listened to Scott. He had let his guard down completely when he had seen this "threat" first enter the room. His overconfidence was now going to be his downfall for mocking the capabilities of the robot hand; the hand that was now ruthlessly tickling him. This tactic was a complete shock to him, and having not put up any of his mental defenses in preparation the laughter exploded out of him as soon as contact was made. "Ahahahaahaa! Wha-Whahahat's goin' ohohohon?! Stahahap thaaat!" He howled out at the mindless hand that relentlessly continued tickling all over his sensitive abdomen; the other hand holding his shirt securely out of the way. Scott too was in complete awe by just what method the program had decided to use, though he couldn't help but grin as he saw the situation that his normally cantankerous teammate was now in. It was already a known fact by the mansion's inhabitants that Logan was surprisingly ticklish as his female team members found it quite endearing and took great delight in ganging up on the burly mutant at times. Heightened senses did have their drawbacks. Still nothing that Scott himself would partake in, knowing that while Logan might put up with it from the ladies he was pretty sure he'd be skewered on the spot if he even made a hint at attempting such a thing. In a way he now felt that he had a sense of power in having Logan in this position. "See? That's what happens when you underestimate the situation, now get to work Logan. Tickling probably isn't a real world offensive that you're going to run into, but no harm in being extra prepared." Wolverine's claws remained out, but he couldn't move his arms enough to free himself. Unable to think straight he continued to fail in his efforts to come up with a strategy to get out of this aside from yelling up at the amused operator in the control room. "Cyyyykehehehee! Tuhuhurn thihis shihihihiiit ohahahahoff!!" Arms bulging he thrashed uselessly in the grip of the tentacles, trying to block the torturous hand from his body by lifting his knee to no avail. He'd been tickled worse than this before, but never had he been this helpless to defend himself. Meanwhile Scott mused over the scene before him. It in fact was a little stupid to be messing with one of the world's deadliest mutant's like this, and he was pretty sure there would be Hell to pay later. His hand hovered momentarily over the button to shut down the Danger Room, but then he pulled back. "No, I think you just need a little more time to figure this out. I have faith in you. I mean, this program is only used to train the 'kiddies', right?" Yup. He was pretty sure Logan was going to kill him after this. "Fuhuhuhuck yooooouuuu!!" Logan cackled as he desperately tried to regain some kind of focus though was only barely able to retract his claws back into his hands, knowing that they were of no use. "Aw c'mon Logan. You're not that ticklish, are you? Can't resist just one little hand tickling you?" Scott couldn't help but tease a bit, having on more than one occasion seen Logan nearly lose his mind from just having his stomach tickled by his teenage sidekick, Jubilee. No sooner had he said that when a third hand began to move in from out of Logan's sight before grabbing the squirming mutant right below his ribs as the fingers playfully dug in over and over again.

"Bwahahahahahahahahaa!! Noooo!! Gehehet 'em offa meeheeheehee!!" Roaring with laughter from the added torture Logan was regretting not taking the lowest level of the Danger Room more seriously. With his arms being held out of the way he couldn't even use them to help guard his body no matter how hard he pulled to free them. It wasn't much longer before his legs began to weaken as he attempted to sink to the floor to hopefully get him a split second of reprieve.

He was allowed to move to the ground, but the hands were unrelenting. With a firm tug the restraining tentacles around his forearms pulled him down onto his back as a few more hands now appeared seemingly out of nowhere to join in tickling under his arms and the other side of his ribcage.

"No!! No!! Stahahahap ihihihihit!! Lemme outtahahaha heeheeheeeere!!" The Wolverine howled as he kicked and squirmed like crazy; his armpits being one of his worst spots. Two other metal tentacles quickly slithered over and grabbed onto each leg to stretch him out and prevent him from curling up in defense. Tears crept out of the corners of his eyes from laughing so hard as so far he had made no progress in getting loose. "Very disappointing Logan. I thought for sure you'd have passed all these lower levels with ease. Well it seems we've uncovered your true weakness. Something that your healing factor won't protect you from. We'll probably have to repeat this level over and over until you get it right," Scott grinned wider, only half serious as he liked to push Logan's buttons at any given opportunity. He was hardly listening though; too focused on the incessant tickle torture. Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse two additional hands made their way over and quickly tugged off his boots, revealing his twitching bare feet as Logan's eyes bulged in panic. "HEY!! Hey hey waahaahaait a m...minute!! No don't!! Not the-AAAHAHAHHAHAHA!!" Fingers wildly scratched at his tender soles, tickling from his wide heels to up under his curled up toes with not a thing he could do to stop them. He was laughing harder than he'd ever had as the tears began to roll down his cheeks. He absolutely could not handle having his feet tickled and once had accidentally kicked Rogue for trying. Luckily she is a tough woman though she used it as an excuse to really punish him with his ankles trapped in the crook of her super strong arm while Logan hysterically cried 'Uncle'. This was more than he could stand. Being spread out and tickled in all his most sensitive spots at once with no way to guard himself was where he drew the line. He loathed the thought of what he was about to do, but he couldn't hold back the frantic pleas that came pouring out. "NAAAHAHAHAHAHOOOO!! N-NO MORE!! STOPSTOP!! PLEEHEEHEEEEASE!! I CAN'T..HAHAHAHAHAA..CAAHAAHAAN'T T-TAKE THIHIHIIS SHIIIIIT!!" Scott was just enjoying the show as he chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. "Wow. Who knew? All one has to do to defeat Wolverine is to tickle him and he'll be begging for mercy. Better hope none of your enemies ever find out about this one."

And with that he finally pushed the button to shut down the currently running program in the Danger Room. He'd have been more than happy to let it keep going, but even he could feel some sympathy for his frenemy and knew once he started begging that he had had enough. Logan instantly panted in relief as the hands all stopped tickling him while he was gently released from the restraints, everything then retracting back into the chambers that they had emerged from. A giggle escaped him here and there as he still had a phantom feeling of the fingers all over on his body.

Scott slowly clapped his hands in jest from the control room as he grinned down at the seemingly lifeless body. "Not bad, Logan! I think you almost had it there, but I'm sure you'll do better next time! So what do you think? Ready for level 2?"

The middle claw that immediately popped out of Logan's fist crudely gave him his answer.

[ganondoodle]

demise backstory (summary)

I didnt actually plan on wrtiting a summary of demises backstory (that i came up with, idk if its any good) but im realizing how long it will take me to draw it all, especially with job related things getting in the way all the time, so i guess im gonna post a badly summarised version of it right here right now, some things might change but thats always the case with my writing, nothings set in stone.

(please be aware that im not the best writer and didnt put much effort into this, it got longer than i thought but well meh :V ignore the typos, i wrote this at 1 am ;O; )

I didnt proof read anything, so this is a mess, anyway here goes nothin:

As far as i know, there have been multiple cases of hyrule having some sort of alternate mirror version of itself or just an alternate world somehow somewhere, so my personal idea about this is that demise WAS what hylia is for hyrule, a deity of protection. thats also where the whole inverted triforce symbols come from in my design for him, im not saying its lorule, but its definitely inspired by it to some degree. so they also had a triforce (here simply called "relics"), but it was split into the three pieces, for each of the three main nations/countries one, originally it was split like this as a way of sharing it equally AND to keep it safe, since if someone was to want the whole thing, theyd have to fight three different giant nations for it, which was thought as being pretty impossible.

as i said before, demise (might not have always been his name idk) was their deity of protection, he was there to keep the peace, to prevent the three countries from going after the relics themselves, tho he was always a cocky bastard he wasnt as destructive and hateful as he is now, back then he was still the servant of their gods after all. for a long long time he was successful at keeping everything as it was supposed to be, but of course, it cant go well forever, i dont have all the details yet but basically, those three nations started war after war, he was able to keep it from escalating for quite some time  but at some point, the people found out that if they destroyed his statues (just like hylias in canon) to prevent anyone from praying to him, he wouldnt know, at least, not immediately (my idea was that the statues are a sort of communication link to whatever their god was, so in ancient hyrule, if you prayed to one of hylias statues, and asked for her protection/help, she would know instantly and show up within seconds) 

alot of battles were fought without demise hearing anything about it, until someone found a statue that wasnt fully destroyed. when demise showed up however, the person had already died as they were wounded when fleeing from the battlefield. wondering how this all came to be he went to look for where that person came from, since if there was actual big trouble he should have known about it much sooner.  

he must have missed the biggest battle his world had ever seen, given the sheer size of it .. and the amount of corpses scattered all over it.

this only happened because of the greed of the people in power for the rest of the relics, which promised power, more power than they already had, plus who wouldnt want to know what happen if the relics were combined again, given how they've been seperated since the beginning. 

Fueled by anger and grief over how many people had lost their lives without him even KNOWING that a war of this size was happening, demise tried to ask the gods as to what he was supposed to do, how could he stop these needlessly cruel wars over something so small ? but the gods were silent. 

so he had to decide on his own, what was the best thing to do ? after careful consideration he couldnt think of anything else but to destroy the relics, after all, he could touch or use them himself as means to prevent him, as an already powerful deity, from falling for that greed for power, just like the inhabitants of his world did now.

the first one was the easiest, they didnt know his plan and let him wander their sacred halls with no second thought .. until he raised his sword once he stood in front of that cursed relic that led only to bloodshed and death. of course the news started to spread that their protector had apparently turned against them, some thought it was because they destroyed his statues, others because they thought he feared they would be more powerful than him once they gathered all the relics. on his way to destroy the second one he was met with resistance, but nothing he couldnt get through. the third one was a fight of an army against one deity. demise won, but not without killing some of the people he swore to protect .. and the only reason he was doing this, was for their own good.

after the deed was done, instead of everything getting better, it was getting worse. the people were more united than ever. against him that is. and the world fell apart. the oceans started to shrink, the winds would blow more harshly with each passing day, plants would wither away as if robbed of life before it began. demise was never overly beloved by anyone even back in the beginnings, but he could deal with them hating and resenting him, as long as they wouldnt go to war against each other, he was happy, more or less. what he couldnt handle was watching as his world started to die a slow and agozing death, right before his eyes, without him being able to do anything against it. and the gods stayed silent.

was it because he destroyed the relics ? were the gods mad at him for going against their orders and deemed it appropriate to punish him by having to watch the people suffer ?or was it that the gods that were bored of playing with this world and moved on to the next ?

he would never know the answer. 

the world died slowly over hundreds of years of painful suffering, desperately trying to to stay alive. even then the last remaining survivors knew him only as the destroyer of their world, responsible for their suffering. his former self wiped from memory, and only hate remained. 

after the last mortal died, the last tree withered and the oceans were gone. there was nothing left to guard, nothing left but the ruins of the past and the painful reminder of how this all came to be. the question of why it had to happen, was never answered, as the gods abandoned him and his world a long time ago.

in a fit of rage he sought to destroy the last temples, the once sacred places which inscriptions have long faded away and the place he once called his home, where he used to speak to his gods before they fell into this agonizing silence and as he drove his sword through the sculpted stones which once housed their voices, it split into two . ..

..and through the cracks blew a wind carrying the scent of a world that was still alive.

[dragontamer-nia-2]

Olivier [Beyblade theories on crack]

Welcome to my random rants about random beyblade things. I have a lot of things to say about the Euro Team and how tragically underestimated and undervalued they are, as characters, but also as very smart plot devices, so in these posts I'm gonna pick a fight with the writers and yell at clouds while probably drunk. If you want a trip, and you think you don't like the Euro team, then jump on.

This guy. 

I love this guy.

This guy is great and I swear to god they knew what they were doing when they decided when and how to introduce him.

So, from the encounter at the top of the Eiffel Tower in ep 33 we know that this guy is mysterious and that he blades; he randomly starts roasting the Bladebreakers unprovoked, which is always fun, but fucks off before anything interesting can happen. What the writers decided to do in the next episode was split up the team, and have them find out more about Olivier separately: since everywhere they go they meet someone that has at least heard of him, we can't help but feel that this guy is kind of a big deal. From Max we learn that he's bloody rich, from Rei we learn that he's a great cook, from them both (when two guys conveniently share the information right in front of them… anime logic) we learn that he's the best blader in France, and from Takao and Kyouju we learn that he likes art, and… prepare your tinfoil hats, guys, because we're going deep.

The thing is, we know this guy is manipulative, and we know it because he offers Takao lunch in his own super expensive restaurant to distract him from the fact that he just ruined hundreds of people's day. Kyouju even points out that something's wrong when he sees Takao go into the Louvre absolutely furious at Olivier, and then sees them come out like buddies. We also know it because… come on guys, have you seen his face? Have you seen his evil smirk? He's a walking troll face. It's like the animators want us to not trust him. And yet, every background character seemingly adores him, even though we don't really get a specific reason why.

I mean… this is a kids show, I know. And the writing is messy most of the times. But this guy. This guy is shady as fuck. You can take him at face value and assume he's a well-meaning asshole, completely oblivious to normal interpersonal relationships, living in rich people's world where he can just do whatever the fuck he wants. Or. He could be one bad day away from being a chaotic-evil type of supervillain, because it's almost like he's doing everything he possibly can to lure and provoke Takao into battle while holding the façade of smiles and politeness. And the funny thing is that Takao doesn't even notice his intimidation attempts (while Kyouju falls for them at every step)

But, exactly, how manipulative is he? And, more importantly, is he even aware of it? Let's assume the worst about him for a second, that everything he did and said had the purpose to push buttons and provoke a reaction. Then just in episode 34 we have the following:

- He reserves the whole Louvre knowing that the Bladebreakers were going around famous tourists attractions

- He immediately interrupts Takao and makes him waste time on honorifics before letting him speak

- He invites Takao and Kyouju, two guys clearly not dressed for the occasion and who probably don't know proper etiquette, to his high class, really expensive restaurant, serves them delicious food he cooked himself, and even implies that he could kick everyone else out if he wanted to

- He namedrops that one guy from Team Who, in a conversation that really wasn't going in that direction, and then uses the bait to imply that he's much stronger than those guys, knowing fully well that Takao was having a hard time the previous day against them

- He basically corners Takao into battling in the middle of a fucking public park, knowing that there are a lot of people around and everyone wants to see the French champion battle

Now. The thing is, I can't prove he's the Machiavellian mastermind I suspect him to be, and the only way this whole thing works is that, in this episode, Olivier somehow got Takao and Kyouju alone and the rest of the team (Kai in particular) is not there to call Olivier out on his bullshit.

On the Eiffel Tower, at the very end of ep 33, Olivier did mention, among other things, that he has unresolved business with Team Who, and it's Kai that questions him to get more information. And what does Olivier do? He immediately cuts him off with "none of your business" and basically flees. We even get a reaction shot of Kai. Afterwards, Kai goes around trying to find out more information about Olivier on his own, and spies on the battle unseen. What's going on here? Well, Kai is not like his teammates, he's not naive, he knows what manipulation looks like and I think Olivier realizes it. That's why Olivier doesn't even try to play dumb with him like he does with basically everyone else, and that's why Kai circumvents the problem by playing bully with random kids instead of trying to confront him directly.

And I know all of this may be "chemicals are making the frogs gay" level tinfoil, but come on, just look at Olivier's reaction when Takao barges into the Louvre and somehow finds him. What does he looks like he's thinking?

At the end, it doesn't really matter, because Olivier doesn't win like he expects. Granted, at this point he can't lose - because the arc has just begun and Takao needs to work harder, and because Olivier already shit-talked Team Who in two different occasions while the writers want them to be a legit threat for the Bladebreakers. But Olivier can't win either, because we're already at the end of episode 34, we have three teams to juggle, and Takao can't keep losing and having to fight against the same people the whole arc. So they tie… and Olivier is shook. He miscalculated. For some reason this guy, this clueless, impulsive idiot, didn't lose immediately and neatly like he expected. And since Olivier does have honor, and respects people stronger than him, he immediately changes his tone, shuts down the peasants that don't understand these kind of things, and he starts treating Takao like an actual person (kinda).

Option A) Oh, what's this guy doing here while the Louvre should be closed?

Option B) How lucky, I caught him alone

One thing that stands out, though, is that he is the one member of the Euro Team who never loses. They had reasons to make his fight with Takao a tie, but why did they make him tie with Rei? Although I do have my own little theory about this, I noticed that he's the only member of the Euro Team that actually has other things going on in his life other than beyblade. The guy is rich, he is very interested in art, he works as a chef and wins culinary competitions. The fact that he's probably a bored psychopath is balanced by the fact that he seems to have his personal life together, he doesn't put his whole worth into spinning tops clashing against each other, and he has the self-confidence to admit when he was wrong. Which is… more than we say about the other European guys.

So, I'm thinking, because this is called Beyblade theories on crack after all, and there's too much reasonable stuff in this post so far… maybe the writers wanted to use the Euro Team to make a point about not winning, and being ok with it, and they really couldn't make it with the Bladebreakers because they are the protagonists. They can't lose - not permanently. Olivier doesn't win, twice, and… he's shook that he miscalculated, he seems to be honestly confused, his whole drive is not winning, but understand what's going on. That's why he sends the Bladebreakers to Giancarlo, that's why he convinces him to bring them to Ralf, he does want to study Takao, and… is he using the rest of the Euro Team as guinea pigs? Or did he notice something that's missing in them, and subconsciously wants to fix it?

Here's my hot take, and the conclusion to this dumb post. Olivier is not aware of his own machinations. He's a natural manipulator and he has a talent to read people or get info out of them, and he mainly does this by playing dumb and wait until people scream at him who they are and what they want. He reads the Euro Team, he reads the Bladebreakers, and realizes one thing: they could help each other. He baits Takao with the prospect of more beybattles and then follows him to see what happens. If it's chaos, good, if it's some life lesson, better. He manages to get Giancarlo on board and the both of them, combined with Takao, eventually get to Ralf. But what Olivier doesn't realize is that the very thing that he is subconsciously asking Giancarlo, Johnny, and Ralf to fix, is their inability to lean on other people, their skeptical and wary natures, their need to be perfect, without weaknesses, in the eyes of the world; and if Olivier was aware of his own machinations he would have realized sooner that, all this time, all he wanted was to have friends. And if I’m right about anything about this, then the writers will have done a good job with at least one member of the Euro Team, because it’s not only a fucking genius way to introduce the arc, the team, and the theme, but he’s also a damn good character.

I love this guy.

[dream-of-neverland]

Kids Can’t Drive

So I’ve had this saved in my computer for a while now, figured it should be the next thing I post. 1383 words.

Agere Logan CG Patton

—

Logan closed the car door and let his head fall onto the steering wheel. What an awful day. First the printers hadn’t been working, then Virgil had called in sick, and then Logan had the blame placed on him for something that was entirely not his fault, a debacle which took the first half of the day to sort out and the last half to fix.

He was tired. Just tired. All the drama at work combined with lack of sleep from the night before, culminating in a massive headache. Maybe he should take some ibuprofen later.

But at least there was Patton waiting for him at home. Considering that he was going to be late, Logan decided that it would probably be best to inform Patton in advance. Opening his phone, Logan froze, suddenly entranced by the picture that served as his home screen.

There wasn’t anything especially unique or different about it. He hadn’t noticed something there that wasn’t before. It was just a picture of him and Patton cuddling together on the couch with numerous blankets and stuffed animals around them, Patton smiling that devious smile of his while memorializing Logan’s reaction to a particularly atrocious pun. It had been his home screen for quite a while now, but Logan couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away.

It wasn’t much, but it was enough. A simple reminder was all he needed, a trigger that pulled him in and wouldn’t let go. In a split second, Logan had slipped from big to small. Logan began to panic. He had never age regressed without meaning to (not to mention without Patton there), and now he was scared. All the sudden the car seemed so big, and Logan felt too small and too vulnerable. Tears began to fall down his cheeks, and he tried desperately to age up again. To think big thoughts, to use big words. To be big. He really really wanted to, but he couldn’t! The more he tried the more upset he became, and the more his head hurt, until eventually he gave up, sobbing with his arms wrapped around his knees.

He wanted Daddy! Daddy Daddy Daddy! He didn’t want to be big, he wanted Daddy to come cuddle him and tell him that he loved him and to make everything all better!

Wait! He still had his phone, which meant he could call Daddy. Bringing his phone back up, he shakily entered the password and pressed speed dial.

********************

Patton lunged for his phone as soon as he heard the first notes of the Doctor Who theme song ring through the air, knocking over a cup of water in the process. Whoops. But he could clean that up later. Right now Logan was calling, and Logan was more important than a cup of water anyday! Besides, he was usually on his way home right about now, so it was weird for him to be calling.

“Hiya Logan! What’s up? Besides the sky, obviously.” Patton never got tired of using that line.

A sniffle came through the line, and then a small, shaky “Daddy?”

Immediately Patton felt a jolt of concern race through him, and he straightened up (not entirely, of course. That was impossible). “Hey baby, are you all right?” Patton crooned, using his softest voice. “What’s wrong, Logie bear?”

All of the sudden Logan began to wail. Oh no, oh no this was not good at all. Logan was regressed who knows where, and Patton wasn’t with him.

“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay baby, Daddy’s here, Daddy’s here.” Patton said, trying to calm him down. “It’s gonna be okay, honey.”

Logan’s sobs subsided somewhat, and with a wobbling voice, he began to talk. “Daddy, the big mean boss man yelled at me, and I tried to help, but they were still mad, and they said I did wrong things I didn’t do, and my head really really hurts, and now I’m small, but I didn’t mean to-”

Logan began to cry again, and it took another minute for Patton to be able to calm him down enough for Patton to be able to understand him.

“I need you, Daddy.” Those words went right through Patton’s heart. He had to get to Logan, and fast.

“Baby, can you tell me where you are right now, so Daddy can come get you?”

“I’m in the car, ‘cause I wanted to drive home, but I don’t know if I can.” Logan said, his voice breaking again.

Patton grabbed an empty bag from the closet and began to look around for Logan’s regression gear. “Shh, Logie, that’s okay, it’s okay for little boys not to know how to drive. I’m going to get an uber to take me to you, and then I’m going to drive you home. How does that sound?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

*******************

Logan felt a lot better now that he was talking to Daddy. He sucked on his thumb as Daddy sang him songs and said silly things to make him laugh. Logan peeked out the window as a car pulled into the parking lot. Could that be Daddy? His suspicions were confirmed when Patton got out of the car, a bag over his shoulder, and looked around, scanning the parking lot.

“Daddy, Daddy!” Logan squealed. “I can see you!” Not wanting to wait a second longer, Logan hung up the phone, threw open the car door, and raced over to Patton, nearly throwing him off balance as Logan wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in his shoulder.

“Hey bubba.” Daddy said softly, carding his fingers through Logan’s hair. Logan just melted into Patton, letting himself absorb every bit of him. The feeling of Patton’s breath on his ear and his fingers in his hair. The warmth of his body on Logan’s. The sound of his slowing heartbeat. The smell of his cologne. He didn’t ever wanna let go.

But eventually, Daddy stepped back, despite Logan’s loud whine of protest. “Now let’s get you back to the car.” Daddy said. He tried to grab Logan’s hand, but instead Logan wrapped his arms around Patton’s arm, and hugged it tightly.

“Well you sure are clingy today.” Patton observed, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. But Logan just whined again. It wasn’t funny!

And so they both walked back to the car with Logan still hanging onto Patton. The first thing Patton did was close the still open front door. Then, Patton turned to face Logan.

“Honey, I need you to let go of my arm now so I can drive us both home.” Patton explained gently. But Logan just squeezed Patton’s arm tighter and buried his face in Patton’s shoulder again. He knew he was being irrational, but he didn’t want to let go of Daddy yet! It wasn’t fair.

“Logie bear, if you don’t let go of my arm, I can’t show you all the cool things I brought for you in my bag.” At this Logan perked up slightly. So the bag did have his little things in it! But he still didn’t want to let go, though.

“Logan, I don’t want to make you let go, but I will if I have to. Are you going to be a good boy or are we going to have a problem?” No! Logan stepped back slightly and shook his head. He didn’t want Daddy to be mad at him. But he didn’t want to let go either. After thinking about it for a moment, Logan harrumphed and slowly loosened his grip on Patton’s arm.

Patton got on his tippy-toes and pressed a quick kiss against Logan’s cheek. “Thank you, baby.” Taking the bag off his shoulders, Patton unzipped it and held up, to Logan’s delight, his favorite stuffy, a dark blue dog appropriately named Blueberry.

Logan quickly snatched him from Patton and cradled him tightly in his arms. Chuckling, Patton guided Logan to the passenger side and ushered him in.

Once he was buckled and had been given some medicine to help with the headache, Patton pulled out a pacifier and slipped it into Logan’s mouth. Logan practically melted into his seat as he sucked on it. After all of today’s events, he was tired. But things were all better now. Daddy had made it all better.