#I was fucking losing my shit while in line for a roller coaster

[idontknowijuststartedsomething]

I HAVE TO IMMEDIATELY REPORT THAT I SAW A MAN IN REAL LIFE WITH A FUCKING MR BIRCHUM T SHIRT SKJEJEKEKWJENENEN

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Feb 15th

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1. Hi! This is for fic finder. Its similar to "wide enough and wild" by impossibletruths. The difference is, in the fic that i want to find again is WWX is a sect leader of wen remnant. There are a fight between the wen remnant because of land and WWX has to resolbe it as sect leader. WWX and LWJ adopt Wen Yuan formally like they ask granny wen for permission to adopt Wen Yuan and there are some ceremony to solidify the adoption. LWJ get drunk and stole a goat (?). It involve a goat but i dont remember if it was LWJ or JWY who stole a goat. WQ has a student. Close to the end of story, WQ goes to Yunmeng with JWY and the title of sect healer goes to WQ's student. I think thats all i can remember. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

NOT FOUND stay, fury, your wrist wrapped in silk by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 228k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ LWJ, LWJi loses his golden core, yiling wei sect, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Major Character Injury, Injury Recovery, Temporary Character Death, War Crimes, Wen Remnant, Wangxian Get a Happy Ending, Revenge, LWJ goes dark for a while, WWX has a hard time with the bad shit going on around him, JGS is a bastard, Protracted Sunshot Campaign, War is war and hell is hell and of the two war is a lot worse, temporary impotence, growing intimacy, LWJ and WWX and the Wen Remnant live in the Burial Mounds together, WWX travels with LWJ and stays at his side post-Sunshot, Spanish Translation)

FOUND! sounds like the epilogue chapter of A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, slow burn, getting together, first time, pining, pining while fucking, burial mounds settlement days, angst w happy ending)… but that's a really short piece of that particular fic to remember so I have doubts ^^; the goat part sounds like way earlier tho, when they get a goat, if I remember well.

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2. hello! I’m looking for a modern wangxian fic where wwx and lwj are high school (?) lovers but then lan qiren (who is also the director of the school I think) finds out about their relationship and sends lwj to the Lan school London. And then there’s a time skip and lwj ends up working at the school and the school system gets hacked so they engage the tech company that wwx started to fix the problem. And then they get back together - please help me!

FOUND? Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 107k, WangXian, Modern AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Persuasion au, Separations, Mutual Pining, Depression, Miscommunication, Emotional Roller Coaster, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Reconciliation, Eventual Smut, Jane Austen Fusion, Underage Kissing) / Hello! I'm fairly certain that #2 on the most recent fic finder is in fact Tempo Rubato. I just finished doing a reread of that one and the details provided all line up :)

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3. hello! i hope u guys can help me find this fic. wwx and lwj are camboys then one day, wwx watched lwj for the first time just before his stream. (i think lwj is the no. 1 in that site) lwj watched his stream, wwx gave him his address and lwj went to his house. i know that its in my bookmark but i cant really find it. thank you in advamce!

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4. hi there are some fics that are continuously bouncing around in my head so some help in finding them would be very much appreciated and if my memory serves me correct all these stories were one shots

A) all I remember is that WY was a phoenix captured by the wens and LZ meets him during his capture and falls in love around this time, also not very sure if WY had healing powers or his tears turned to peals because he heals LZ and that LZ tells him to cry just because WY feels like crying

B) the story starts of with WY and LZ on a date arranged by all of their friends and other memories of it include NHS telling WY that LZ had made a separate group without him to warn them from ever repeating what they did WY also went out with LQY in (idk) high school and with WQ but they broke up because WQ had to focus on med school and didn't want to do Long distance and that WY seems to know that LZ is in love with him and LZ cries after telling WY that he's happy being his friend along with ending on the note where WY and LZ confirm that they are officially friends to every one else

C) this one revolves around WY being a sacrifice and LZ is guardian till his death but they fall in love I think WY was to be sacrificed on his 20 some birthday also the way the sacrifice was interpreted wrongly by the sects and in it WY and LZ also sleep together before WY is ultimately sacrificed but it was a happy ending that's all I remember I apologize if the descriptions are too vague but I read them a good while back and thank you so much for your help

4A)

FOUND! a thousand hills, no birds in flight | 千山鳥飛絕 by defractum (nyargles) (E, 26k, WangXian, Mythology, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon adjacent setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort)

NOT FOUND! Breathing Firestorm by ladyshadowdrake (M, 110k, wangxian, angst, fluff, captivity, creepy WRH, no non-con, dreamsharing, politics, people making the best decisions they can, epic length, mythical creature WWX, canon-typical violence, dark, happy ending)

4B)

FOUND! yeah theyre just bros thanks for asking by victortor (T, 10k, WangXian, Intimacy, Modern AU, Aromantic Character, Established Relationship, Communication)

4C)

FOUND! The Sacrifice's Last Guard by 0_Heta_0 (E, 24k, WangXian, Falling In Love, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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5. hi there! for the next fic finder — im pretty... sure... this is a jiang yanli-centric fic? but a lot of the POV was also madame yu. i remember that cangse sanren survived (this is not time charm). cssr, madame yu, and,, another woman who i forgot (possibly lwj's mother?) get into a relationship, and they raise the children together. im pretty sure jfm also dies alongside wcz (unless im mixing up two fics). either way, theres a scene where someone sneaks in the wives rm n mdme yu kicks their ass // (i'm the yzy/cssr/madame lan anon) i know for *sure* now that im mixing up two fics, but same ot3. it's not sami's sail away sweet sister. the character pov was yzy annd she was a lot more unsure about the whole thing bc she was painfully aware what she's like.

For the most recent fic finder #5 is absolutely Sail Away Sweet Sister. It's in Chapter 3, 2/3 of the way through. It may be conflated with another one, though, as that particular section is in Madame Lan POV (her name is Tang Lijuan). Sami tells stories in multi-POV though, so there are other sections from Yu Ziyuan's POV relating the incident.

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6. Okay so, looking for a fic where lwj or wwx accidentally summon incubus/succubus wwx or lwj. (I can't remember who was the sex demon or who was the human but it is a wangxian fic)

So, the succubus needs food and it is, unsurprisingly, cum. As in they have to literally eat cum to survive. So the human lets the demon feed from him. The human is followed by this succubus/incubus everywhere he goes to including his university.

The human loves feeding the sex demon and even lets him feed in the uni bathroom during breaks.

Does a fic like this exist? Does it ring any bell?

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7. Hi I'm looking for a fic in which Lan wangji and Lan Zichen got yin poisoning. And because Lan wangji in on the verge of death. Lan zichen decided to ask for Wei wuxian help on extracting yin energy but Lan Qiren prevented LAN zichen from fetching Wei wuxian because of his injury and decided the LAN Qiren himself will go and get Wei wuxian. And in this story Lan zichen and Jin gungyao will end up together jin gungyao was poisoned by his father. And wen Qing helps treat him thank you for the help @routel

FOUND? The Untamed: For the Love of Two Boys by YenGirl (Not rated, 181k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, JC/WQ, 3zun, Yin Metal poisoning, wangxian wedding, XiYao wedding, 3Zun wedding, Single minded LWJ, Caring WWX, Supportive lxc, Supportive LQR, Prickly JC, Sweet JYL, Good JZX, Badass WQ, Cinnamon roll WN, adorable a-yuan, Supportive NMJ, Redeemed JGY, Evil JGS, Supportive Madam Jin, Annoying JZN, Evil XY, Rescued SS, Jealous SS, Useless Sect Leader Yao, Supportive Lan Healer OC, Accupuncture, Golden Core Reveal, Yunmeng sibs reconciliation, Implied mpreg jokes, stygian tiger seal, Burial Grounds fight, Meng Shi's grave, Jiang Sect Ancestral Hall, Lan Sect Ancestral Hall, wedding nights, minor OCs,nMingshi & Calming Bell)

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8. Hello I am looking for a fanfic where Wei Ying finds out that he still has family that’s alive on his fathers side. He travels with Lan Zhan and ayuan to meet them and finds out his father was from a rich merchant family but his father left them to become a cultivator. He meets his grandmother who has dementia and his family business ends up boycotting the Jins when they find out what they did to Weiying. I know I bookmarked this fanfic but I can’t seem to find it.

FOUND? Keep Holding On by abCEE (M, 316k, JC & WWX & JYL, wangxian, canon divergence, role reversal, YLLZ JYL, yunmeng sibling dynamics, good uncle LQR, sunshot campaign, PTSD, established relationship, angst w/ happy ending)

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9. Hi I really loved the fic A Myriad of Blossoms!! It's one of my favs now! Thank you so much for suggesting that fic.

Next I was looking for two fics :

A) Where Wei Wuxian after being expelled from CR is also "expelled" from YMJ and he works as a spy for Madam Yu and later when she dies the spy organisation is taken up by Nie Huaisang.

B) Where Lan Wangji asks Wei Wuxian to give up the Yin Tiger Tally and as a result WWX loses his new Yin core all over again and is severely hurt and LWJ regrets.

Thank you again!! @yilinglaobunny

9A)

FOUND! 🔒 Pendulum by ShippersList (M, 69k, wangxian, graphic depicitions of violence, rape/non-con, underage, A/B/O, Canon Divergence, Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Misunderstandings, Canon-Typical Violence, Spies & Secret Agents, Fake Character Death, Slow Burn, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, BAMF WWX, Attempted Sexual Assault, Canonical Character Death, Mutual Pining, Good JGY, Introspection, Self-Sacrificing WWX, Love Confessions, Protective LWJ, past child sexual abuse)

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10. Hi! I was hoping to have some help finding a specific fic? It was really long, a zombie apocalypse au? Where WWX gives birth to A-Yuan and LWJ is the father and then they get separated? And there's a big cruise ship? I remember the title was something like Nowhere Man? And it was finished! But I can't find it anywhere! Appreciate any help in finding this fic, thank you!!! @ariel-nolikeshakespeare

FOUND? For #10 could it be that its this fic? nowhere man - Red (zuwujun) At least if you search on google "nowhere man zombie ao3" thats the first result and it is a wangxian fic from the summary snippet visible from google. Sadly its currently hidden for a challenge

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11. Hi! I really appreciate the work you do. I'm looking for two fics: A) a deity!wwx au fic (not many tags beyond pairing, incomplete, hasnt been updated in a few years). Lwj meets night deity!wwx as a teen, befriends him, and during sunshot everyone thinks hes blessed by the sun god bc he has a branding iron he uses as a weapon. wwx turns himself mortal. B) The second is a cql post-canon fic: wwx sends lwj note hes in trouble from a night hunt. Family brings food to cave. Sex curse? Defeat Yao in lake. @classygreydove

11B)

FOUND? Fire in the Blood by Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (M, 20k, wangxian, First Time, Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, hurt/comfort themes)

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12. Hi! I'm looking for these two fics:

A) WWX is the boss at some company and wants to keep LWJ from leaving because he's such a good employee so he offers him to double his salary or whatever he wants, LWJ says he won't leave if WWX offers himself. It's a modern AU.

B) During his stay in cloud recesses, WWX overhears two guys planning on cursing a woman with a toy connected to her, WWX stops them and changes the curse towards himself. The issue is that LWY confiscates the toy. That's what I remember.

Thanks!

12A)

FOUND? What's Wrong With Secretary Lan? by silverclaw (T, 5k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, Modern, Inspired By What's Wrong With Secretary Kim? (TV), JZX and WWX are best friends, LWJ is "going through a rebellious phase")

12B)

FOUND? 🔒 The Golden Cutsleeve by syrus_jones (E, 77k, WangXian, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Aged-Up Character(s), WWX POV, WWX is a gremlin, Internally Screaming LWJ, No Sunshot Campaign, First Times, Accidental Sex, Masturbation, PWP, Porn with Feelings, WWX experimenting with things he shouldn’t like always, Happy Ending, Porn With Plot)

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13. Hello— looking for a fic (au).

A) The Twin Jades go to Lotus Pier. Madam Yu makes WY stay out of the way (maybe even sleep outside?). LXC sees WY using talismans & is impressed. The next day he brings his brother & LWJ falls for WY:)

B) The twin jades are at Lotus Pier & MY makes WY sleep outside? But LWJ runs into him (and sees him using talisman:)

Thanks!!! @snowrose24

For number thirteen in the last item finder, I know that fic is an omega Wei Wuxian, but I can’t recall the title. Hope that helps? Definitely an alpha Lan Wangji.

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14. Hello, I am not sure how this works 😅. I think I am supposed to write my request here. I am trying to find a WangXian fic. It is a modern au. Lan enterprises is hacked and Nei Mingjue send Wei Ying to help them and by the end of day Lan Wangji and Wei Ying are set for a date. In this fic Wei Ying is a CEO of a big security company I think. Also they decided that Wei Ying will be an intern to catch the hacker. @veeru19

FOUND? Wangji's Beautiful Stranger by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 47k, wangxian, WIP, Modern, Soulmates, older LWJ, younger WWX, LWJ is So Whipped, Not Jiang Family Friendly, A-Yuan and Jingyi are best boys)

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15. Hi there! I'm looking for a fic that I sadly don't remember much about. The few things that stick in my mind are (1) Lan Wangji's father is alive, but they do not get along since his father left them, (2) Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have a baby (can't remember if it's A-Yuan or an OC), and (3) there's some family event where Lan Qiren brings Lan Wangji's father and Lan Wangji (somewhat reluctantly) allows his father to feed the baby as a sign he's willing to try to start mending their relationship. Thanks for all the good work you do! @lucky-cat-13

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16. Hi! This is for fic finder. I dont remember much, unfortunately. What i remember is WWX send a letter to other clan. Like, there should be someone who married in to wen remnants right? So he send letter to those family to ask if they want to take their wen family back or not. I think LWJ help him too. That is all i can remember. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

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17. Hello! I'm looking for a fic where Lan Wangji is an emperor. Lan Xichen dies in the war against the Wen and none of the other clans provided support to the Lan. Wei Wuxian helps in the background, including saving the Dafan Wen. Lan Wangji demands Wei Wuxian as part of the treaty/alliance with with other clans post winning the war. Wei wuxian thinks he is a war prize/prisoner, but he is treated really well by the Gusu Lan for his efforts in the war.

It was WIP and I thought I had this bookmarked, but I lost it 😔

Thank you!!

FOUND! golden when the day met the night by glitteringmoonlight (Not rated, 95k, slow burn, sugar daddy LWJ, light, angst, fluff, developing relationship, eventual smut, WIP)

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18. Hello again! Thanks as always for your help. Do you happen to remember that one fic where wwx has wildly overworked himself by taking in too many foster kids, and LWJ, his boyfriend, buys him a Fitbit to gently dom him into eating and sleeping enough? @balleyboley

I know number 18😭 I'll try to look for it. Wei ying wouldn't sleep or eat and didnt realize it, I hope someone finds it!

FOUND? underweight by sixstepsaway (E, 7k, WangXian, sex used as bribery lmao, Eating Disorders, Anxiety, full time dom!lwj, consensual control, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs)

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19. Hi, So i'm looking for two fics a) pretty sure his one is a one shot but it's basically during the sunshot campain and wwx is putting souls to rest when one of them wants something for him. The soul is all flirty and so on and after some time they find out it's nhs and nmj's father. b) also during the sunshot campain, nmj sees wwx being sickly and is like I'll take you under my wing, he feeds him just takes care of him @thatperson0-0

19A)

FOUND! Win Some, Lose Some by nirejseki (G, 3k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Ghosts, Talkative Ghosts, Marriage Arrangements, NHS & LWJ friends agenda)

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20. hii. this is for ficfinder

I haven't read this but the summary of the fic was smth like wei wuxian disappears and I think sometime later lan wangji finds a man named mo xuanyu, I think it's a modern au, but I might be wrong!

thank you!!!

NOT FOUND! 🔒 Where You Fell by Sweet_William (E, 303k, wangxian, 3zun, JC/NHS, JYL/JZX, Modern, Angst, Mutual Pining, Homeless AU, Getting Together, Slow Burn, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, accidental sugar daddy LWJ, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Esteem Issues, Coffee Shops & Cafés, Autistic Character, WWX Has ADHD, Panic Attacks, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sex Work, Implied/Referenced Substance Abuse, Eventual Happy Ending)

NOT FOUND! vintage youth by sami (E, 13k, WangXian, Modern AU, references to past LWJ/others, references to past WWX/WQ, Family, Sexual Tension, set in the early 90s, Background Xicheng)

FOUND! don't leave me waiting, don't leave me here by sassybluee (M, 13k, WangXian, WangYu, Modern: No Powers, Missing Persons, Sex Work, Lawyer LWJ, Ambiguous Relationships, Hopeful Ending, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, POV LWJ)

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[puella-1n-somn10]

⚔️Puella Magi Madoka Magica x Pokemon Sword/Shield: Hop and his Witch Form⚔️

Word count w/o intro: 11,703

Look, I know that the Traveler from Genshin won that poll, but...if I may be honest, I am not ready for what concept I had for them to completely topple apart all thanks to a single shred of lore being aimed at my head at mach speed. Trust me, fellas, I saw the roller coaster that is the Fontaine chapter; if shit is that crazy while we are halfway through the main story, then I dread the revelations that will befall us all when SNEZHNAYA rolls around-!

With all that being said...welcome back, ladies, gents, and those who have casted the dreaded concept of gender out of their lives! For those who are unaware, we are here today to witness what would happen if I were to take the worldbuilding of Puella Magi Madoka Magica and apply them to other media. Today's unfortunate guest for today is none other than the goat himself, Hop!

...Not funny? Ah, alright-

Yes, I am aware that Hop's reputation amongst the fanbase is...controversial at best. Generally speaking, I've noticed that the negative image of this character was formed by the fans prematurely judging him based on his initial lines of dialogue, passionate (which is often mischaracterized as cheerful) attitude, and, I shit you all not, animations (which is more of a fault caused by tight release schedules and the developers being rushed than that of the character himself). From these alone, he tends to be placed on tiers lower than the fucking Gen 6 rivals (no hate towards them, promise, I just wish they were fleshed out more)- which proves to me that not only are those types of Pokemon fans purely visual beings, but that media literacy is dead, rotting, and its tombstone has been Hyper Beamed to Hell and back-

BUT we're not here to rant now, aren't we? My...personal, burning distaste towards those who call him a Hau clone aside, we are here to dissect his character- in more literal ways than one! If I may be honest, this analysis post thinly disguised as a silly, crossover ficlet was created as a thought and writing exercise for myself, and it was quite fun, if I must admit! So I hope from the bottom of my heart that you guys find as much joy in Hop's pain and suffering as I did while writing it!

Just a few quick warnings, this post will contain mentions of child neglect and favoritism, implications of social ostracization and public shaming, and, I cannot stress this enough, mentions of self destruction/S-H/su-c-de. If any of these themes are too triggering, especially that last one, please, please click away! I am being serious here- take the utmost care, and be safe!

Of course, spoilers for Madoka Magica, Magia Record (Anime ver.), and Pokemon SWSH are right up ahead! If I may be honest, I haven't touched upon the DLCs yet, so spoilers regarding them will be minimal at most. There will also be shades of PostwickShipping (Hop <3 Gloria) present, so if that isn't your cup of tea, I sincerely apologize.

It would also be fitting to play some Decretum on the side, too, especially when we get to the despair bit- God damn, he and Sayaka need to be buddies.

-The Wish, Possible Powers, and Soul Gem-

"Before we ever started out on this journey… I remember watching Lee on the telly. He was like a bright star, so strong I could hardly bear to look right at him. But now, I can tell just how strong he really is… And what he's got that I haven't…"

Now, I could go the easy way and say that he'd wish to be as great as Leon- to become as strong as the champion and equally undefeatable, but, honestly, not only does this feel cheap, it feels so...unlike Hop as a character. He doesn't just want to defeat Leon- he wants to prove his worth and make his mark as a trainer. Hop, like the rest of Galar, idolizes his brother- so much so that he copied his strategies and every move; a mistake that had gotten him to lose the fight in the Circhester stadium even after facing off against so many trials and tribulations-

After all, as Bede said it in his own...brutish way, if people looked down on Hop, they will do the same to Leon - the man who Hop looks up to as not just an older sibling, but as a symbol- as an unshakable LEGEND, and not just as a human being -. So if the perception of the man who Hop saw as a hero was to shake all thanks to him...it'd be quite devastating, to say the least. It was this possibility that hit him the most- where his worth and identity came into question.

Hop may dislike losing - a sentiment that grows stronger every time you defeat him -, but what he fears even more is disappointing others; lowering his and his brother's worth in their eyes. He wanted to be number #1 because it was expected of him to do so, by himself, by the public, and, when you think about it, even by his family - whether consciously or not -...

After all, just look at his home- do you see any pictures of Hop around? Left and right you find memorabilia and trophies belonging to Leon, but how much mementos of Hop can you find? Whether or not he was aware of it, Hop craved not just the glory of his brother, but also the validation and positive attention.

This was his path in life- no, this was his destiny, as he'd put it; to become as strong as his hero and receive that blazing torch after living in his shadow for so long. To live up to his splendor, to inspire others to get up and take a stance, and to make something out of himself. His brother was a hero- so it makes sense to imitate someone as amazing and strong as him.

So, after analyzing his character for a bit, his wish could go along the lines of wanting to be by his brother's side, or, more appropriately, to make an impact on the world and the lives of others like he did. After all, we are assuming that he made the contract a bit before his constant losses began to fuck with him; he had confidence in his abilities at least during the beginning, and was certain that he was going to emerge from the final battle victorious.

The powers resulting from this wish could go in a lot of different ways; after all, wishing to make an impact is quite abstract. It isn't like he wished for someone else to get healed or to win on a lottery; so trying to make powers based on that would be tricky. My best guess is that his powers are associated with memories and legacies, which, once more, also fits in really well with how he documented and tried to mimic Leon's strategies and actions.

Now, before we focus on his soul gem and witness it crumble along with his self-esteem, we're going to take a good look at his attire upon transformation into his Magical Boy form- an aspect that, regrettably, I've forgotten to cover back while I was analyzing Medic. Now, this part may be a little unclear to some upon first reviewing the designs present in PMMM, but a pattern is there- and one of the most common reasons behind a magi's design is the intent behind their wish and their desires before or after taking on the contract. In order to prove my point, I'm gonna list some examples:

Sayaka Miki is a knight in shining armor; she wanted to uphold the ideal of a magical girl and fight for what's right

Homura Akemi's outfit is rather...funerary, for lack of a better term; she made her wish as result of her losing Madoka, and had more or less doomed herself to watching the demise of her beloved over and over again

Nagisa's outfit looks like an everyday, ordinary outfit for someone her age; she craved a normal life where she was able to be just like the other kids around her- not having to worry about living in a dump and caring for an unstable parent

Iroha's design invokes the idea of a ranger or even a mercenary; she is dedicated to finding her sister at what cost, even if most of the evidence (or lack there-of) pointed towards Ui not existing in the first place

Being in the spotlight of someone else's life, looking up to his brother, and making said champion an example on how he should lead his life...I think a stereotypical, legendary hero might do it; the main protagonist of tales like Beowulf or even your everyday JRPGs. Hop often made references to him 'weaving his own legend', so this would make perfect sense!

Speaking of-

Regarding his soul gem's shape, simple- upon transformation, it would look just like a small flame placed on his solar plexus like a brooch or button. Comparisons to Leon's charizard aside, it is a simple and straightforward symbol representing his personality; passionate, competitive, hot-headed, and bright- but all flames are prone to dying out one way or another. Hop's association with fire is also presented to us in-canon in his second league card, with him pulling off Leon's signature pose as flames wildly danced around him.

This also brings the idea of him burning himself away to fit into his ideal of a champion to mind, or literally burning himself out. A raging fire ready to render all that is in its path into ash- including himself.

The emblem on the middle of its egg form is a little harder for me to interpret fully. I could go with the easy way and say that it's probably the same as its form upon his Puer Magi transformation, but we all know that my perfectionist ass would not just simply settle with that. The options on our hands are as follows;

The easy option, the Hop flower (symbolizing how becoming a professor is his true calling in life)

A coat of arms (royalty themes- also, a pun on Eternatus' eternamax form, coat of ARMS, heheh)

A spiral (symbol of futility, continuation, cycles, and a downward spiral)

A coat of arms WITH a spiral in the middle (look at the above two points)

A flag (him wishing to create his own legend, and how he was initially a foot ahead of us during the start of our journey together)

A windmill (...we'll get to that, but let's assume it's because of Postwick for now- I personally prefer this one)

A shield with two crossed swords (again, royalty and hero themes)

As for its color, here is where things get interesting; I already spoke about how most soul gems correspond with the eye color of their respective magi, since "eyes are the windows to a person's soul", so a brilliant gold would fit both with this unwritten rule and thematically. However, then I got thinking- Red is also an applicable color, right? It fits his personality, and would clash really well with the cool purples and blues...until I realized that not only is red already going to be present as a sort of secondary (if not primary) color to go along with the existing cool palette in mind, but the added gold highlights would embolden it and make sure this design really pops.

Besides, making red a central color for his magi outfit also adds in to the idea of him still mimicking Leon, whose associated colors are purple, gold, and, of course, the reds of his cape! We aren't completely sure as to how much control a magi has over the outfit they'll don upon transformation, but we do know that Madoka actually designed her own magical clothing, so some input from the magi themselves, whether consciously or not, does contribute to the matter. This would also make a cute little homage to his champion outfit in Pokemon Masters EX!

One last point before we get to the part you've all been waiting for, we have to look at his weapon; yes, his powers are probably associated with memories or even perception, but, according to my research, one's weapon doesn't necessarily have to be tied to the wish. As a matter of fact, aside from Mami's ribbons (symbolizing her being tied to the life of a magical girl and her capturing others in this web of malice whether consciously or not- a literal lifeline), most of the cast's weapons are unrelated to the wishes made, and, like the aforementioned outfits, are more tied to the magi's intents or even personalities;

Nagisa's is a trumpet that blows out bubbles. She wanted her mother to hear her, but she's only ever able to let out little squeaks; the dichotomy between her desire to be acknowledged and wanting to be a decent daughter to a horrible person like her mother.

Homura's is a shield; she wishes to protect Madoka, but a shield alone cannot deflect everything threatening her sweet rose. There's also the symbolism of her hiding behind a shield, both as Moemura (shy and reserved) and Cool Homu (covering her emotions with an aloof exterior); in both cases, she's hiding herself away from the world.

Sayaka's is a cutlass sword. Go figure.

I am not completely sure on Madoka's; she dislikes brutal fighting, so it would make sense for her to use a long-range weapon that she's able to use to snipe enemies from a safe-enough distance. I also heard that a bow and arrow have some sort of significance in Christian lore, but, to be frank, I am not completely sure about this; this section requires further study.

Again, I gotta thank @bluethepearldiver for saving my butt here and on the upcoming natures section! According to them, since I had already removed swords and shields from the equation in order to make space for both Gloria and Victor, a polearm type of weapon would fit him the most! In their own, brilliant words, it is "representing how unattainable his goal ultimately is", and, in my opinion, it is a mid-range weapon- when utilized correctly, Hop would be able to conquer battles that would require either long or short ranged attacks to clear! Also, personally, it brings the image of a sheep herder to mind.

As for the specific type of polearm, that one would require a lot more creativity, but, since Hop comes from Postwick, a weapon that originates from Europe would be fitting. After thinking about it, I believe his weapon is probably a Halberd, due to how it can pierce, chop, or slash depending on the situation. It would also symbolize poor, bright-eyed Hop constantly changing his strategies and teams in order to catch up to us- to finally match us in strength. Every time we met him, he would have different strategies, a different team, a different outlook- he tried every viable, effective strategy, tearing apart the aspects of himself that were deemed roadblocks, pushing himself until he was burning himself way too brightly for his own good, yet...

-Descent Into Despair-

He lost. He had lost yet again, hasn't he?

His grip on the pokeball was shaky. The eyes of the crowd fixated on him as the last of his pokemon fell to the ground. Frozen air filled his lungs; his eyes felt like they were turned to stone, as did the veins in his arms.

The whispers grew louder; the crowd's collective judgement was being passed from one attendant to another. His teeth were about to shatter from the pressure around him alone. Not even Melony's concerns were registered on his mind; all the words around him amalgamated into a brute cacophony that choked all the will and rationality out of him.

His heart was on fire. His lips were dried as he stared at the nothingness before him. It was so hard to continue standing up- fucking impossible to focus on anything but this blunder forged by his own hands- which he now sees as nothing but useless vestiges. His heart was a war drum in the midst of conflict; beating as though the drummer's life was on the line if they were to dare and drop the pace. How he wanted to gouge his own eyes out and rip those ears out...

"Pitiful."

What on Earth was he missing?

He tried to change his strategies, he really did. The sad look on his pokemon’s eyes broke him every time, but they just couldn’t be of good help…he had to be a better trainer.

That’s what good trainers do, right? They make sure their teams were optimal. After all, strategy came first; that was what he learned from all these battles that long moved his heart.

"Foolish."

Another loss.

He looked down at his final, fallen comrade, not taking his shaking hands into account. Was it the cold? The stress? The sheer disbelief of what was before him?

Or was it frustration? A poison seeping between his clenched teeth- ready to curse out himself and direct his anger to the world? Readying him to pound against the earth beneath him until his knuckles were mangled and bloody?

No...no, this can't be it. He had to push himself further- he had to be better. Not a single Pokemon of his would listen to someone as fragile as he was; he had to make an example out of himself if he had to be a strong leader- a hero to them...

"Hypocrite."

Wooloo...

You promised, didn't you?

He stifled his own sobs. Oh, how could you have done this to them, Hop? They were the closest thing you had to a childhood friend! They were right by your side to the very end! All you had to do was to keep their head up, tell them it wasn't their fault, and that you would still enter the league together if you both focused! All you had to do was stay strong-

But you couldn't. You just had to up and leave them; cast them to the dirt where you dragged his good name through.

In the end, he couldn't even uphold that.

"Pathetic."

Over and over...over and over, he had repeated this fruitless, pitiful endeavor- all to no avail.

Finding himself floating adrift, Hop feels as though his very existence was slowly slipping from his fingers; becoming one with the very void surrounding him. He couldn't even feel his limbs, much less his face.

No matter how much he had stretched himself so thin, it just wouldn't work. The evidence was there before him, for all of Galar to see- his true rival and his brother on that field together, the latter holding the other's hand and raising it up in the air...that no matter what he did, all the sacrifices he had made, it was all up there in the air like smoke. His dreams, hopes, and ambitions- gone with what shine in his eyes that were left.

Oh, little sheep...do you not realize that you have tangled yourself within this spider web- the very definition of insanity?

"Worthless."

He's tired.

With each loss, it got a lot harder for him to get up and walk away.

His legs were shaking, and not just due to the harsh winds around him. The winds were picking up their pace, but the eyes, the eyes, the eyes-

Why must you insist on further embarrassing yourself, young man? Can't you tell when it's the time for you to just drop everything and move on with something better for everyone else's sake?

You're just embarrassing yourself at this point- nothing more than a clown attracting disrespect and shame like flies to a rotting carcass much like yourself.

...

Yeah...

What if...it was him?

He couldn't take the watchful gazes of the crowded streets anymore. Oh, how he wanted to hide away in the corners of the world- render his own face into nothing but a crimson pulp just so their judgemental glares, mocking smiles, and whispers would finally leave him alone and hollow.

His heart was racing- his veins were on fire, and his arms were about to burst.

It was too much... Upon stumbling upon a silent, empty, dirty alleyway, he slumped onto his knees as he shook from both the cold and pressure of all the bottled up frustrations in him. At long last, the waterworks finally broke out. Only the night sky and howling winds were his current company; doing little to distract him from his pained heartbeats and dried up throat.

He couldn't hold on to his victories, no matter how feeble or small. It didn't matter what he did or how much he tried, all that he's tried holding on to will just slip away from his fingers, like the breaths of fresh, cold air escaping him; inhaling just enough as to not allow him to pass out on the spot, but it was only that much.

The sound of metal clanging on the ground escaped his ears. It was only when he was finally slumped on the ground that he had noticed the fading luminescence just before his reach. Even as his body shook from the mental strain and the cold, he still recognized the jewel that was on the dirtied ground. Hands shaking, he slowly picked up the once brilliant object...

Through jittering teeth, he just couldn't help but sob whilst instinctively smiling; the sound coming out like a sort of soft giggle...

Hahahah...oh, don't tell him- don't tell him he couldn't...

What a mockery- look at him, everyone! Not only had he failed the challenges before him, but, oh, this poor damn pest- he couldn't even look after his own damn soul gem! The very thing he had traded away what was left of his identity outside of the league for- and even then, with his wish, it only made sure that his mistakes would return to him in even stronger, more merciless manners. Was it due to him being unable to focus on both perfecting his strategies and his duties as a puer magi?

For all Hop cared at that moment, it was just another sign of his pathetic, useless existence. Worthlessness- no, he was way beneath that; he had failed. He had failed, he had failed, he had failed, he lost, he had motherfucking lost.

Answer yourself this, Hop- Do tell how you expected to come so far like this! How you have managed to shamble and shuffle through the league challenge like the worm you are, with nothing but another's achievements to your name- and you couldn't even take good care of that!

"...Useless..."

Hop shakily breathed out.

"Hah...if only I wasn't born so useless..."

His grip on both sides of his head grew tighter. As he gritted his teeth and his eyes twitched, one last thought flashed in his mind-

"There's...nowhere left for me..."

"Everyone else is moving on without someone...some pest like I am..."

With all the air that was left in his lungs, Hop roared into the night and unleashed all the grief in his heart. His anguished wail was interrupted by a sudden crash, and all that was left were the howling, autumnal winds...

.

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.

Word of the contestants' escalating behaviors grew amongst the people of Galar.

At first, it manifested as deepened anxieties; competitors being so overwhelmed by the upcoming events that it caused them to hyperventilate, shake uncontrollably in between sobs and unintelligible screams, or, at worst, completely melt down; faces reddened by tears as they were unable to remove themselves from the ground due to the paralyzing nervousness and hysteria. Initially, these incidents were brushed off as being related to the individuals' worries over the nature of the Gym Challenge, on top of the resulting trauma caused by the Darkest Day; even after the region was granted another chance at seeing the bright, blue skies, tensions were still at an all-time high, so, at the time, this appeared to have been the most rational conclusion.

It was when they've descended into thrashing bitterness and violence, however, that concern was finally demanded and raised- and, along with them, a whole basket of questions that craved all the answers in the world; anything to make sense of what was unraveling. Many a stadium had to close down - some even in the midst of these breakouts - for investigation purposes in order to get to the bottom of this anomaly.

Before long, rumors began to spread amongst the Galarian public- both on the streets and on social media; ranging from a contamination of sorts, to possible side effects of the Darkest Day that the current chairman was uninformed of. In the end, one by one, the majority of the gym leaders had to step forward admit that they knew as much as the rest did regarding the matter, but that did little to help stop the creation and spread of conspiracy theories, and they soon devolved into a competition of its own; on whose hypothesis is the most click-worthy and attention-grabbing.

Nothing was stacking up; everything had been tested - the water, the air, the soil, and especially the power spots -, the stadiums were inspected from top to bottom, and even the gym leaders were interviewed; it all came back negative.

The chairman himself had gone dark.

In the midst of the mass hysteria, right everyone's noses, the range of whatever was influencing these stadiums, the...being that has sending all these people into these frenzies...was growing.

Violent breakouts and missing persons reports spiked without ever showing a sign of slowing down. Nay, not even the gym leaders were spared- with Bea finally coming to her senses while Allister tried to subdue her and not hurt the rest around her, and Milo's herd of Wooloo going completely berserk and in complete panic not unlike the contestants and their own pokemon.

It was at its assumed worst when it had finally reached Postwick Town. Most of Galar had succumbed to what was engulfing it with its malice and twisted hopes, and, according to theorists, they doubted it would stop there. The people residing in the Isle of Armor and Crown Tundra were given the order to lock down and cease all functions until further information's released, in the vain hopes of preventing the spread of its influence.

And then-

Silence.

Everything around them was completely dim, with nothing but small flickers of flame and their own eyes' adaptation to help traverse them through what became of the region; a dim, cold land with ashy skies overhead, overrun with scared wildlife and...monsters- beasts you have never seen the likes of before. Perhaps staying still while you're able to recognize Galar while you could would be the wisest choice; stray far enough, and the world around you will fade, shift, and turn, until you find yourself not outdoors anymore, but in a dingy, suffocating hallway filled with cracks and little to no light-

and, soon enough, you will realize that you are not alone.

To the most fortunate (or unlucky, depending on the perspective), the sight of the missing people was there for them to see; lined up for their next battles and subsequent executions. Days of being trapped, fought, beaten up, and isolated in pain did a number on their psyches, and that is without mentioning the existing effects that have already engulfed Galar; plunging them into insanity.

By the braver and most informed few, most of the missing people have currently been accounted for- most, had it not been for the unfortunate casualties resulting from...all that has been unfolding around them, whether they were still yet to be found, were done in by beasts swarming through these twisting tunnels, condemned by whatever's waiting for them at the center of this cursed maze, or...just couldn't take it anymore, is still up in the air. Those whose statuses have not yet been confirmed included the younger brother of the former champion himself- who, quite possibly, may have been one of the earliest victims, if the timeline was to serve them right-

Oh, but if only they knew better- that the bright-eyed, enthusiastic Hop was right back to where it all started; watching the competition from atop the stage, waiting for the next match to begin. The empty husk that was once "Hop" was silent; slumped to the back to his seat with his dull, milky eyes staring into the distance, as the crowds roared once the hero and his new challenger entered the fray.

Yes...yes! Cheer for him! ONLY HIM!

Shaking from the cold and the tension of her surroundings, Gloria's attention darted from the armored monstrosity to her unconscious rival amongst the masses. His colors all but completely desaturated- it was nothing short of a miracle seeing his body still somewhat intact, though his sunken face and sloughing skin - some even falling as soon as she grabbed on to him; revealing pale bone -...without thinking, the armored girl screamed.

Contrasting Gloria's priority shifting from grabbing on to Hop's corpse and make a break for it to taking down that thing who must have caused it, Leon was...silent. His heart sank as he fell on his knees- his eyes shook as he fixated on the monster before them. His blood ran ice cold; it was so hard to breathe without sobbing...

Gloria and the gym leaders who have finally located the arena - those who have and haven't contracted - deemed that being a monster- Hop's God damned murderer, but Leon knew better.

The gold hues that were pooling from what's assumed to be the monster's eyes were unmistakable.

His own little brother was right before him, waiting to fight him in the middle of this arena-

Just like how he had promised- like how he had always wished for...

-The Witch's Nature-

Ah, the most unpredictable section of this post- the one where yours truly is expected to agonize and sob over all the options before me. Character complexities are complex! Multiple reasons behind despair! Oh, how is your truly ever going to choose the perfect nature for a warlock that would not only encompass the magi's goals and history with only a few words, but one that would also feel fitting for a spooky being like a witch?!

Welp- once more, I have thank Blue for their brilliant input once more! They've decided that his nature would be Admiration, and, honestly, it's genius! It not only fits his overall character, goals, and what caused his sanity to go downhill with the brakes cut off, but it has the right amount of dissonance that the witches of PMMM are known for! Again, this has been your reminder to support them- c'mon, chop chop, that's an order.

Of course, nothing wrong with mentioning all the other, though scrapped, natures. Again, you're all free to reinterpret the warlock to your hearts' content, and if you do have any other suggestion that would fit, please let me know! I not only want to understand Hop's character better, but I do wish to improve my character-deciphering and writing skills. Once more, I encourage all sorts of fair criticism heading my way, and, with all that being said, here's the losers' club:

Reflective

Smitten

Idolizing/Idolization

Competitive (decided that this one might fit Nemona better if I ever got into ScaVio and made a witch for her. Later. Inshallah.)

Self-abandonment (look at the above, but with Bede instead)

Self-immolation

Guilty

To yearn/Yearning (again, Nemona)

-The Witch's Appearance-

"It's not enough! I've got to try harder! And harder and harder till no one's laughing!"

Alright, first thing's first, before we dive into ANYTHING, we need to touch upon Hop's self-image and how it transforms through the course of the game. From the beginning, he is just so confident in his abilities and goals; it wasn't just a desire, it's a goal- he will beat Leon! He will become champion! One day, he's going to be on that stage; he WILL fight Leon, and he WILL beat him- just we wait!

And 'wait' we didn't.

For all his talk about creating his own legend, of taking up the mantle, we have done nothing but drag his face through the dirt without failure.

The more we beat that poor fella up, the more...desperate he became, and it gets cranked up to 11 once Bede humiliated him; calling him a waste of space, and that all he is doing is tainting his brother's legacy by trying, so it would be best for all parties involved he should just stop that. If he just stopped trying at all. If he just gave up at once. He still tries to maintain the spirit of friendly competition between the main character and himself, but the constant humiliation has been getting to him, and the talons that are digging in to his mind are sharp.

It is then that we finally realize that the once-confident trainer who initially accompanied us is no more. This hatred towards himself only grew with time, and, even when he had reintegrated Wooloo/Dubwool into his team, his self-worth was still nigh-non existent; he dared not accompany us during even the post-game story, believing that he would just be slowing us all down, and how we would fare and be better without someone like him around.

In Hop's eyes, he was a burden; a waste of space, and, no matter how much he tried to fight it, those words would persistently repeat in his mind. His constant defeats didn't help, either, whether it was by our or any other trainer's hands-

Hell, it can be argued that Hop's earlier confidence and passion were nothing but "fronts"; he had always cheered Leon on and idealized (dare I say even worshiped) him to no end, but, aside from the promise that he would, one day, defeat his brother and become a champion, what other positive things did he say about himself? What other dreams did he hold? He owed so much of his own knowledge about Pokemon battles to Leon, after all. This can be seen in the third episode of Pokemon: Twilight Wings, if we choose to interpret Wooloo's actions as reflective of Hop's- trying to be something it is not, and, ultimately, causing it to stray far from "home".

He wanted to be the hero of his own story. That's all he wished for. Instead, we've shoved him into the sidelines- face first on the dirt, without even realizing our strengths.

History repeats once more- the tale of Leon and Sonia all over again.

The image of a knight, a warrior, a hero is definitely a strong base to start it all off. The ideal knight in shining armor, he who stands up for everything right- the unbeatable champion of the people. Not just a person to look up to, but a symbol- that's all he wanted to become; just like how he saw his brother.

When he realized that his current tactics didn't work, everything had to go out the window. We aren't saying this lightly- everything. His plans, his . He had to change everything about himself- until he realized that the problem weren't his teams or his plans...it was him. It has always been his fault- he was just weak, nothing more than a pathetic worm.

The armor is scraping every fiber of his being. No matter what, he still cannot attain the strength and glory of a champion- so he has to keep doing this; break and melt himself. It isn't right, it hurts, but he deserves that pain- he deserves the agony and so much worse for the sin of his existence.

But it's not enough. It's not enough, and it will never be enough. Flaming hot, red daggers will forever pierce through his flesh and skin; melting and reshaping him not necessarily just to fit his desired goal, but as punishment.

It doesn't matter, though. It doesn't change his sheer, fucking incompetence. He'd bash himself against the wall, turn his knuckles bloody, and have his howls of torment be drowned out by his observers' whispers and harsh judgements, but it doesn't change the fact that he deserved every second of it. He had to keep molding himself, he had to suffer, he had to pay for being such a pest to everyone's lives and for being so weak...

No matter how much he tried, it doesn't change the truth that he is no damn hero; he is here as a prisoner, present to repent for his crimes of his pathetic existence...

Oh, yeah. Futility is not just a present theme, but we are running to the HILLS with it.

Next up, we look at his actions- the "spice" and depth this brings to his warlock's design.

Let's retrace our steps a bit and look at Hop's character before and after the main story; as soon as we boot up the game for the first time, there we see Hop being so excited over his brother finally coming home- he was practically shaking and jumping by the news of it alone! He just couldn't wait to see him again, much less what he must have brought back with him- and, when he laid his eyes on the starters and chose his, he was over the moon and the sun; this was the beginning of his legacy! Ah, even his own mother said that he had to learn some patience.

Compare and contrast to his attitude in postgame- he's a lot more mellowed out, but that can be better described as him finally being burnt out. He had nowhere to go, no goal to attain, and not a single strength to his name. Bede and Marnie are training to become gym leaders, Leon's the new chairman of the Galar league, Sonia is on the way to become the new regional professor, but Hop? There was nothing left for him. There isn't anything he was able to do that others could do even better- all that was left for him was to rot in the fields, forgotten and cast away like the object of shame he was.

"I don't know how much I can really help... If I come along, I might just end up slowing the rest of you down..."

I've already established how the warlock might be imprisoned in a sense; all to symbolize how he must have felt during his downfall and the lengths he went through in order to become someone worthy of becoming champion- of sharing his brother's legacy, but we should also take how he first started off into account. We already have the pain, but where is the tragedy in it all? The downfall of his confidence? The fall of Hop, the once bright-eyed, confident, and proud young man? How could we symbolize the face that we have flicked his passion and convictions away with the push of our buttons?

Passion...glory...destruction...hotheadedness...Lee...Charizard...

"Fire- and lots of it!"

Yeah, this should not come off as a surprise - given how I have already mentioned it dozens of times already -, but, hey, if Ophelia has a lot of flames in her design to symbolize the tragic end of her family and her own hotheadedness, then I can't see why the same cannot be applicable to our uncrowned prince of Galar. Truth be told, I think the fire is burning at him to this day; as I already mentioned, he is in a constant state of melting down and reshaping himself to no end to fit an ideal that is so far away from him, and what better way to do so than by forcing himself to endure these flames to no end- not just to burn away all his mistakes, but to subject himself to what rage and disappointment he believes Leon must be feeling? You cannot ask for a more fitting punishment, no? Quite ironic as well, if you'd ask me.

Plus, as a warlock, he wants the people to cheer for him- only him! What better way is there to grab their attention and love than by becoming the brightest thing on the battlefield?! Yes, it's all worth it in the end, hearing the people of Galar scream just for him alone- oh, he couldn't be happier! That is all he desires! If we thought Oktavia craved attention, think again.

Speaking of lengths he went through to become someone he is not, let's talk about him changing his teams; this is his point of transformation as a character, where the cracks in his confidence begin to grow alongside his desperation. At this stage, Hop was willing to make any sacrifice necessary to meet that goal of his- if he fails, not only were his dreams on the line, but so was Leon's reputation. The only constant between these teams is the starter Leon gave him- with teary eyes and a regretful heart, he had damned the experiences and memories he shared with the 'mons he caught along the way, for all that mattered at that moment, all that was worth keeping, was the one thing that held any sort of direct connection to his future glory; the very gift his brother gave him. It should be worth it though, right? He's only becoming better, becoming stronger, becoming the best trainer he could be-

Isn't that right, Wooloo?

Oh, man, wooloo. What kind of Hop-centric design would this be if I didn't incorporate this cute little sheep in some form or another? If not the sheer GUILT he must be feeling? Since I already covered how the warlock would be forever unsatisfied with his form, let us talk about the promise he made with Wooloo, and how him breaking it must be haunting him. Just up and abandoning them, his lifelong partner pokemon must hate him for such a cowardly decision- it should hate him; he had backed out of such an important vow between them, and implied that it was their fault that he was unable to reach his goals. Ultimately, it is his guilt and self-hatred that got him here; whenever he wasn't melting down and reforging himself, he was always fighting for the audience's attention- a whole herd of sheep who constantly demand a spectacular show. It felt right for his first partner pokemon to judge him, after all- he must be condemned for his disloyalty...

Building upon the last point- since Wooloo, his very first pokemon, was also removed from the team, this would translate beautifully into him removing parts of himself to fit that perfect mold, and what better way than to add in sheep elements to his design? The warlock having hooves as dark as obsidian for feet? Broken horns that might be mistaken for parts of his armor? Heck, even the gnarly skeletal system resulting from us combining that of a human's and a sheep's? While I am not too sure about what exactly is going on underneath his helmet, I will just assume that at least its base form resembles a mutilated black sheep's face, because of, well, Hop seeing himself as the black sheep of the family. Combined with his halberd, which I am certain would carry on from his last form to this one, this would bring the idea of a twisted sheep herder of sorts, on top of the existing themes of sacrifice that are already associated with cattle in multiple religions.

Of course, we can't go wrong with referencing him copying Leon's tactics in battle and said worship! This, too, will be a source of pain to his warlock; not only does his armor resemble draconic scales (again, Charizard), but the base of his helmet would bear the shape of Leon's beard. This also ties in to the above point of him trying to reshape his form to that of the champion's in order to achieve prestige and victory by following in his hero's footsteps, but its ultimate purpose in the end is the further erasure his form and himself; all that made Hop 'Hop'. He is constantly slicing away at his being just to fit that mold....

Yes, he also gets to keep the cape; much like his halberd, I can't see why this element of his magical boy form would not get carried over here, as it also assists with establishing the theme and desire to be like a big shot like his brother. Its red coloring would also be of nice contrast to the ashen grey or deep darkness of his armor, although it is tattered and not as magnificent as it used to be in his eyes. The armor already boosts the idea of a hero, but, combined with all of the elements from above and Hop himself going down the slippery slope, this monster right here invokes the idea of a fallen hero; bright-eyed protagonists who have become jaded over the course of their journeys or have decided to outright give up on their ideals and goals- some even opting to join the opposing side of the narrative outright.

I should also mention his inability to look at Leon in the face and how he didn't want negative attention to be drawn towards him in spite of Hop's desire to face off against his brother- some eye trauma, maybe? Would the mementos of Leon in his barrier bring him pain? Or...would the warlock be unable to see past the "glory" of the champion and his dreams? How his mistakes are blinding him? Maybe what he saw was so bright, so brilliant, that it blinded him to everything else; turning his eyes into burning pools of blood resembling molten steel?

Now, we calculate his karmic potential, his emotional volatility, and how they contribute to his warlock's strength.

While I was first working on this post, I thought that maybe he would have cracked after he had lost against the gym leader of Circhester Stadium - Melony -; after all, he must have been devastated, with all these eyes watching him as his final pokemon fell, but then I remembered two key details-

His self-esteem did not get any better by the end of the game's main storyline. In fact, it was at its lowest during postgame- and he even brought a comically large shovel to dig wayyyyy deeper, courtesy of Sordward and Shielbert!

His karmic potential not only stems from him being the champion's little brother, but his role in stopping the second Darkest Day.

So, in a way, that loss would be considered to be more of a catalyst for his despair rather than the straw that broke the camel's back, not unlike Sayaka learning the truth behind the soul gems or Hitomi's confession to Kyosuke. He may have brought Dubwool back to his party, he may have appeared okay-ish after we've defeated him in the semi-finals, he may have helped us save the day, but his internal conflict didn't dissolve just like that- you cannot erase all these years of constant comparisons, long-standing dreams, horrible impostor syndrome, and such an inferiority complex just like that with the snap of one's fingers.

Truth be told, he was supposed to finally give in after said semi-finals, but, out of urgency, he held on just for a little while- for just enough time to assist us with finding Leon and stopping Rose's plans. Now that everything was said and done - now that everything was laid to rest -, the eyes just wouldn't stop staring at him, the whispers didn't cease, and Hop...he was tired- he was oh so tired. Falling on his shaky legs and the harsh thoughts in his heads still not slowing down, Hop had finally closed his eyes and gave out his final farewell...

Also, Sordward and Shielbert will die by my hands for making his self esteem go further down the toilet in postgame, I swear to Allah-

From all that, we can see that not only are legends, prophecies, and destinies HUGE themes for when it comes to the design of his barrier, but that his warlock is gonna be powerful. Now, I don't wanna be redundant by saying that he, too, would be as tough as Walpurgisnacht (we've already done that with Medic, though, after thinking about it, he'd be more comparable to Hyades Daybreak), but saving an entire region is, putting it lightly, a huge feat, and that's without us touching upon his supposed connection with the legendary pokemon, one of Galar's heroes of myth, Zacian. In between being tied to almost a hundred destinies (Madoka) and saving the entirety of France (Tart), putting an end to the apocalypse - The Darkest Day - has got to be up there.

I know this sounds like a sort of repetition on my end, but remember what Homura said back during episode 9; "from here on, for every person (one) has saved, (they) will curse another". So, while Medic got his powers thanks of a combination of his own karma and how he had fused 8 other souls into him, Hop's karma was all his. In short, by this logic, Galar is beyond fucked.

Oh, and, y'know, the whole deal with him being the champion's little brother and Gloria's childhood friend. With all that in mind, bro's warlock is not just stupidly powerful, but outright broken. Not at Ultimate!Kriemhild levels, but that's still not good news in of itself, isn't it?

In the end, whether he had completely given up after he had lost to Melony or during some time between the events of the main story and postgame is up to you and your interpretation of Hop as a character. For the sake of this segment alone, I will just go with the idea that, if he despairs before the climax of the main story, his warlock would be a formidable foe, but not yet a world-ending threat like either Walpurgisnacht or Crépuscule de La Reine.

For comparison's sake (and to paint a clearer picture), I'd say that he could be as powerful as Gisela, if not moreso. From the PSP games, we can see how resilient and tough that witch is - so much so that she is tied to both Mami's and Kyoko's backstories -, so surpassing her strength is still a commendable feat. Much like his depiction in the section above, the warlock would still be capable of cursing many stadiums at once and cause such intense panic in order to take the league challenge down with him by making the contestants to go completely berserk, and, if he so wishes, he could render an entire village into ash.

However, if you guys wouldn't mind, I'll still be running with the idea that, thanks to the player, Bede, Sordward, Shieldbert, his family, and Galar's corrupted celebrity culture, the entire region has yet another apocalyptic event to go through, and only Arceus could save them now- basically what happens during the above despair segment. Good job, everyone! Enjoy listening to Grass Skirt Chase while ya could! /j

Now that we got the basic picture of the warlock down, let's cut to the chase and dive in to his barrier. I've had a lot of fun with this one, so buckle up!

As I already mentioned in my previous Medic post, a witch's labyrinth is stated to be the "mental landscape of the magi before they turned into a witch". From analyzing the barriers of the Holy Quintet and the other existing witches from the original anime, I've already deduced that they must be tied to either core memories, coping mechanisms, or desires-

HOWEVER,

A more simplistic take on all that would be "a place that rubs salt on the magi's/witch's wounds"; makes more sense, no? Candeloro is forever alone in her little tea party, Charlotte is in a silent conversation with another doll- unable to speak about what's on her mind, and, for goodness' sake, Ophelia's barrier is underwater. It is just logical to see that a labyrinth is designed to keep the witch miserable; specifically made to remind them of their own shortcomings, mistakes, broken hopes and dreams, and all that they've lost by the act of contracting with an uncaring trickster like Kyubey.

Unsurprisingly, with this idea in mind, I think the barrier would be a twisted version of a stadium, lit up by raging fire. The audience is present; their eyes ever-staring at you as their yells echo throughout the arena. You just know that your actions and failures will be recorded for future generations to see, mock, and spit at- after all, you are now trapped in a legend that is yet to be completed! Yes, even the style of your surroundings looks like it could fit right in an old storybook or any of the murals present across the region. Not too far away from this labyrinth's center, you are able to find multiple cages housing the victims he had captured; fighters worthy enough for him to test his skills on or put on a spectacle for all the audience to see.

In the middle of the battlefield, in the shadow of a large statue behind him, lies the warlock; broken, battered, burnt, and practically melting, but his duty remains clear as daylight- bound to his punishment and his own selfish desires, it has become his goal to defeat you before the audience. It is his destiny to be bound to this stage, having to pay for the sin of his existence.

The trinkets of Leon - or a silhouette that resembles him - that surrounded him in his own house are also present; after all, they are tied to his motivation, admiration towards Lee, and his wish to become champion. Even until now, the warlock and his familiars take good care of them, though he despises the reflection cast by them.

I should also make a quiiiiiiick note Pokemon Masters EX; you see, upon activating a character's sync move, they are displayed in front of locations present in the canon of Pokemon known as their "mindscapes", and, fellas, upon finding out that said places are significant to each person's story and life one way or another, I've realized that I have stumbled upon a hail Mary for PMMM/Pokemon crossover fanatics out there, myself included. Of course, I wouldn't recommend using these mindscapes alone as a sort of easy way to make barriers, but they do act as nifty, optional blueprints or spices to make those labyrinths look more colorful or representative of these characters.

When it comes to Hop, his mindscape, unsurprisingly, depicts Postwick Town. The location doesn't change when he becomes a Neo Champion, with the only alterations made to the artwork is that it is now nighttime and the presence of small flickers of flames dancing around; burning as brightly as the stars above - one more point towards fire being a persistent theme here -. Perhaps if you've gained enough of an upper hand and luck in battle to grant you some time to look at the ground, you can see that there's specks of white paint that faded away with time; the surface still resembling that of a soccer field's to this day, not unlike the one in his backyard.

To reflect his mental state and emotions of worthlessness and futility prior to him crossing over the point of no return, well, here's where the fun and pain come in-

The halls of the labyrinth are...suffocating; as soon as you enter, you realize that the area is only wide enough for a single person to traverse through. It's so dark, too; only the oil lamps and unmaintained lanterns present provide any form of luminescence, and even then, you have to be careful; one small misstep, and it is you who will be up in flames.

You also get the sinking feeling that you are being watched through the cracks and holes of suffocating halls; a feeling exemplified by the sounds of rain and howling winds just outside. The oil lamps do nothing to alleviate the bone-biting cold around you- the warmth provided is minimal at best. Not too far away, peculiarly enough, you can hear what must sound like...a radio; the details of what is being said is unclear, but the language is actually understandable if you happen to know Arabic. Through static and compressed sounds, you can hear that the voice on the radio is...reciting a nasheed; one chanting about the light of honor, victory, and divine heroism in the face of adversity, with determination being a repeated theme peppered in. No matter which hallway you turn towards, you cannot seem to get any closer to the source of the sound.

As you make your way to the center of the barrier, in spite of the lack of windows present, you decide to be a little brave and take a peak through the torn cloth or any of the cracks on the wall; you find that not only are you not at all far away from the hallway you've already visited, but that you appear to be going down a spiral- but this can't be possible! It is like you've done nothing but repeating the same steps over and over, only for your determination and desires to bring you down...

The winds have gotten louder - clashing with the noise present in the halls -, and your legs feel so tired...

You cannot take it anymore. You finally deduce that, if you want to face off against the warlock right then and there, then you better take a nosedive; break through the halls and descend further and further until you reach the arena, and face off against a furious gladiator- angered and heartbroken by the prospect of you destroying these mementos. How could you?! Such an act is beyond heinous in his eyes! You are no honorable opponent like the rest of them- nay, he is here to strike you down, to restore and clear the champion's name...

To rub salt on his wound a little more, let's add in more references to the people who affected Hop's life- those who have sent him down a spiral, whether consciously or not.

At the end of some of these hallways, you can find shrines that are clearly meant for worship; moreso than the memorabilia that are already present. A large statue rests in the middle of it, surrounded by worn pictures depicting a silhouette of a man and damaged, worn-out books and scrolls. The scent of smoke is present, alongside ashes on the ground; the warlock or one of his familiars must have been near the shrine not too long ago.

Some parts of the halls, namely what items made of organic material like cloth, are clearly damaged- whether caused by burns, cuts, or, most strangely of all, moths. The bothersome nature of these little creatures not only represent Bede tearing apart at his self-worth, but also his reliance on Chairman Rose- such a depiction may symbolize his actions and words' effects on Hop's self-image and life, but it also acts as a subconscious, final "fuck you" to white-haired youth; at the end of the day, Bede is just an unwanted, insignificant insect who gravitates towards any source of light while causing great disaster to others, even at the detriment of his own life.

...but...isn't that what you have cursed yourself into, Hop? Having to prove yourself to someone who is so far away for all eternity? To mimic them? All for a part of their attention and approval- much less a sliver?

They have both locked themselves in a cycle of attempting to appease to someone in their lives at the detriment of their own health...

Upon his defeat, once the crowd cheers at his defeat, the walls will crumble, and the debris will crush and pierce the warlock - whether he was still alive or dead by then - as you finally get a look at the outside world... Rolling hills that span for miles greet your vision as the grey, rainy skies conceal the afternoon sunlight- but it still is brighter than the suffocating arena and its connected halls. Not too far away, you are able to spot a windmill, still going on for what seems like several vicious years, if its poor state was any sign. Ah, if not for the chaos around you, the flickering silhouettes of round sheep in the distance and the smell of grass and rain really makes it feel like you're right back home...back in Postwick...

To end all this on a high note, let's touch upon his witch's kiss/warlock's whisper/evil cutie mark. Thankfully, I got it as soon as I could; one of those old emblems that acted as tickets to a gladiator match depicting a simplified sheep's head! To add some freakiness, the sheep face is stripped to the bone on one half, and glaring right at the person looking at it on the other. A circle of hop flowers surround the disfigured head, and the emblem itself appears to be half-melting.

-Witch Card-

Sayf Al-Muharib. The Gladiator warlock, whose nature is admiration. The light of an old hero's glory - eternally out of his reach - had caused his sight to turn into searing, painful ichor; blinding him to all but his own failures and shortcomings. As penance for the sin of his existence and weakness, the warlock is in a constant state of breaking down, melting, and reforging himself whilst in preparation for his next battle in the hopes of searing away all the flaws in him - all that lead him to his incriminating mistakes - and achieve a perfect form. He is unable to recognize the being beneath his armor anymore, nor could he remember the vision he had prior to his entrancement.

The cries and cheers of his familiars herald another chance for the warlock to prove himself and absolve the legacy of his hero once and for all- but, no matter what, the crowd is never satisfied, and neither will he ever feel proud of himself for the victory. He will never be an inch closer to the light of legend he craves so badly. To emerge from the battlefield victorious, one must not lose sight of their promise in the midst of battle.

(His name is inspired by Sayf bin Omar/سيف بن عمر, a Muslim historian and compiler. It should also be of note that the reliability of Sayf's ahadeeth have been a point of controversy to this day. When translated, the warlock's full name means "The warrior's sword".)

(The fact that his first name literally means "sword" bears two meanings depending on the protagonist- if it's Gloria, then it reflects how he tags along with and respects her though he is seen as incomplete without her presence in the eyes of the rest; while if it's Victor, then it's the clash between their friendly rivalry and his growing respect towards him. Either way, it also symbolizes how the MC stole his spotlight and destiny, and how they broke him and his dream apart throughout their journey.)

(Also, Homura fits the criteria needed to defeat him, let's GOOOOOOO-)

-Familiars-

Batel (plural form: Abatil). The gladiator warlock's minion, whose duty is preservation. A scholar at heart, the warlock analyzes the actions of the hero of legend to learn from them for future endeavors. Prioritizing the opulence and safety of these treasures, these small followers of his are on constant lookout for anything that would posses a danger to these sacred masterpieces while archiving the feats of the champion for future re-readings.

Unfortunately, their master despises the reflection cast on the memorabilia; forever reminding him of what he will never become. He will hang his head down in their presence out of both respect and shame, lest the sight of the failure he had become shatter what was left of his original heart once more.

(Symbolizing Hop's knowledge of battling in general; jokes about type advantages aside, he was always analyzing Lee's battles and was eager to use his knowledge during battles. It's also one of the key reasons as to why he chose to become a professor in the end.)

(Yes, the warlock himself also does his job at chronicling the feats of Leon - even going as far as to imitate them to this day -, but not only are the Batels there to assist him (I mean, they are his familiars), but they also sort of symbolize how...exaggerated Leon's achievements can get, especially in the eyes of others- including Hop's.)

(Its name is a play on words in Arabic; "Batal/بطل" means "Hero", but "Batil/باطل" can either mean "of no good use" or "useless". Leon was the hero, his hero, his ideal- Hop, on the other hand, was just dead weight to him.)

(Another note to add is that Hop's uniform number is 189, which, when read in Japanese, can mean "Hiyaku"; leaping. While the warlock himself would be struggling to walk with these hooves of his and his mutilated form melting and meshing with the armor, I can also see that the Abatil's only way of moving around is through leaping, since they would probably have only one leg to stand on. Ah, I love the smell of symbolism in the morning.)

-

Al-Daja (plural form: Al-Dajij). The gladiator warlock's minion, whose duty is to uphold competition. Ever-so excited for the upcoming battle, the crowd will explode into applauds whenever a new victim enters the stadium and comes face-to-face with their master. Their never-ceasing cheers always demand for more, and, not wanting their wide, unblinking eyes to stare at all his faults and mistakes, the warlock complies.

The warlock will try and not show a sign of degradation to his opponent- he'll hold out until they sing songs of his glory and his story gets passed down from generation to generation. However, these minions will often times become so entranced with the relics and spectacle that they would forget the identity of their master altogether, and even start cheering for the new challenger once the warlock is thrown into a corner.

(Based on Hop's personal drive - to become as glorious and powerful as the unbeatable champion himself -, how the losses have been affecting him, and him not wanting what negative attention he garnered along the way to affect Leon directly. The audience can be quite the chatterboxes; all it takes is one small piece of gossip for everything to go out of control. Its name, ألضجة, means "The Noise".)

(They also symbolize how everyone else already act around him all thanks to his brother's legacy- looking down on him for every little mistake he makes, while each victory earns him another comparison to Leon. He doesn't want to disappoint them- not the crowds, not his friends, not his family, and not himself, so he carries on with his useless endeavor; constantly chasing after a dream that is so far from his reach. The fact that this familiar is prone to forgetting who they are serving exactly is indicative of Hop forgetting himself.)

-Inspirations-

In-canon:

Sacrificing aspects of himself just to come close to that aforementioned ideal; going as far as to remove his lifelong friend, Wooloo, from his team

Trophies and other memorabilia of his brother being found in their home- almost no mementos of Hop being found there

Corviknight, one of the 'mons he gigantamaxes upon the release of the DLCs (the other is his starter pokemon, which I will assume is Scorbunny)

The fact that he is evidently Arab/Muslim-coded, especially in the French translation of the games where his name is Nabil (fun fact, Raihan is also an already-Arab name)

The third episode of Pokemon: Twilight Wings

Dubwool being able to learn a fuck ton of self-destructive moves

The statue of the Hero of Galar in Wyndon (Motostoke in the anime)

Outside Influences:

The Sealed Vessel from Hollow Knight and their theme; actually, wanna bet that he is trapped in a similar manner as they were if we were to assume that his power is equal to Isabeau's? That he has been gathering power from the mass hysteria resulting from his influence over the stadiums?

How sheep, lambs, and goats are associated with sacrifice, slaughter, deceit, and rituals (to tie the aforementioned wooloo/dubwool and self-abandonment points mentioned earlier)

The golden calf

The fact that some gladiators were prisoners and had to fight and put on a spectacle in order to regain their freedom

nana825763's "My house walk-through"

That one segment from Valle Verde part 2 which starts at around the 3:58 mark

The Devil Within by Digital Daggers (not my dumb ass imagining an animatic in which Bede is this warlock's first victim)

Cause of my Death by Itoki Hana

Dolus Vel Pedica, Area Strigae, and Delusio Summa from the Madoka Magica PSP game

The concept of living armor, but with added body horror

-Closing Statements-

Phew! Well, thank GOD this didn't take as much time as Medic's warlock did! (unless if we count my sick days- then yeah, it took just as much) To say that this was a WILD ride would be the understatement of the century!

I wanted to nail the vibe the witches had before we, as the audience, learned the truth about their origins - that he must have been born out of competition and the impostor syndrome that comes with such high-stakes contests -, and the idea that he, Sayf, was vengeful not just towards the leagues and the people who had beaten Hop while he was down, but also towards himself. I am unsure of whether or not I've completely succeeded on that front, but, if you guys have better ideas and/or criticisms, please do let me know! I aim to improve my writing in general and my abilities to break down character motivations and symbolize their actions in more abstract manners.

Being Bede is suffering; his ass is getting haunted on one hand, and Leon is able to smell his fear from a mile away on the other. He's not fucking winning this, lads :'3

...With all that being said, there is one shred of information that I've been withholding until now- the final piece of the puzzle that, once we step back, paints a rather grim image of what would occur if we were to combine the worlds of Pokemon SWSH and PMMM...

Outside the league challenge, the story of SWSH tackles the eldritch origins of Dynamax/Gigantamax; that the very vessels that allowed the people of Galar to utilize it must come from the remains of the invading Pokemon, Eternatus. Its initial awakening from its 17,000 year slumber heralded the event known as the Darkest Day; in which it had absorbed so much of Galar's energy that it caused its form to change and a dark storm to envelope the region, causing the pokemon to dynamax/gigantamax and go berserk. With the emergence of said storm come what is now known as "Galar Particles"; other sources of energy that, after the defeat of this threat, were utilized by humans for generations to come; rebuilding Galar from the ground up to the region we know today.

Now, a theme that both medias apparently share here from this fact alone is "energy". In a sense, you could say that Eternatus itself acts very much like a living grief seed; absorbing "impurities" in order for its true form to "hatch" and release boundless amounts of concentrated energy that can be used in a useful manner later down the line.

So....what gives? Why is Eternatus such a key element to this concept if the focus of this post is Hop? What does that creature beyond out comprehension have to do with the one we currently have in our hands right now?

See, not only does Hop's karmic potential stem from his destiny to stop the second Darkest Day alongside the main character, but his brother was also tasked by Chairman Rose with capturing the beast and delivering it to him; this was planned out in order to solve Galar's energy crisis that was going to unfold in the next several years or so, and, though it was a hard decision, the Chairman believed that now was a better time than never. The future of Galar, in his eyes, relied on him...

Obviously, Rose's entire plan fell flat on its face, so it was up to us, our bestie, and a very gud boi an' gorl (Pokedex entries confirm Zacian is Zamazenta's older sister) to save an entire region's ass from a wicked, unfathomable threat once more, but what if things went a little differently in this timeline? Obviously, one of the heroes who was supposed to assist/had assisted Gloria fell into despair and became the next world-ending threat she's going to have to put down, but what if this wasn't the only deviation from the norm here?

After all, Rose wasn't the only one who had sought out the means to prevent and remedy a sort of entropy issue at any cost necessary...

[kingkatsuki]

So I’m at a amusement park right now and all I’m imagining is taking Bakugou with you and he’d like roller coasters so much you can’t change my mind like you’d go with a whole bunch of friends and he’d be laughing and smiling while on the rides and imagine holding hands with him while walking around cause he doesn’t want people to bump into you and cause you to separate and 🥺🥺🥺 please I just wanna ride front row on a roller coaster with Bakugou and listen to him laugh and see his genuinely happy smile from the excitement and adrenaline from the rides

Ahh! I hope you’re having fun at the theme park! I’m super jealous I haven’t been to one in so so long!

I am so soft for this idea, like just imagine waiting in line with him and he’s got his fingers looped in the belt loops in your jeans or shorts, keeping you close to him as he huffs about the wait times. Scowling into your neck as Kirishima, Sero and Kaminari talk about the ride and how many loops it has. He’s so impatient because he just wants to get on it, and the only redeeming feature about waiting in this line is you.

When you get to the front of the queue you’re separated into the separate aisles they have to get you into your seats. Herding you between the two metal gates as Bakugou stands behind you possessively, caging you in as he places a hand on either side of the barriers, the gate to the ride in front of you. You can tell from the smile on his face how happy he is that you’re going to be at the very front of the coaster, his hands moving to your shoulders to push you forward when the gates finally open and you can climb into the coaster seats. He waits for a moment to make sure you’re sat in the seat properly before sitting in his own. Fastening his belt while checking yours as you tug the guards down over your head. His hand jiggles yours before his to make sure it’s tight, even though the staff literally checked it. Turning to face him and even with your view obstructed bt the ride you can still see the genuine smile on his face. His legs swinging slightly as you wait for the ride to start.

If you go on water rides and get absolutely soaked, even if you try and hide your face he’s laughing at how cute you look even though you’re convinced you look awful. Giving you his hoodie (even though that’s drenched too) because he doesn’t want you getting cold.

Getting annoyed if you wanna go on any of the “shit” rides because he thinks it’s gonna be boring, but he’ll do it for you. Climbing onto one of the horses on the carousel as he gives you the grumpiest look, but it’s worth it for the smile you give him when the ride starts. Taking cute, silly selfies as it goes round in circles.

Going on those rides that have the guns and you have to hit targets, his nose scrunched as he’s completely focused on trying to hit as many as possible and beat your high score. The photograph the ride takes at the end is so adorable because Bakugou just looks so focused in it.

When you get to the more crowded parts of the park Bakugou’s already got your hand in his large palm, keeping his grip tight as you weave through the crowds. Knowing he won’t lose your other friends because of how fucking loud they are, but there’s no way he’s getting separated from you.

Stopping by the snacks/refreshments to grab you whatever you want before you spend another hour in line for one of the big coasters. Stealing sips of your drink or some of your snacks as you wait in line together.

You know he ends up buying (or taking free photographs of) your picture from one of the rides because he thinks you look so beautiful, even though you’re convinced you look hideous.

[jtrbluv]

hell-ish | pjm

summary: can be read as a separate oneshot or a continuation of ‘we’re not really strangers’“

“But do you remember when we went on a field trip to that amusement park in 8th grade? Around halloween time? … Yeah, I think that’s the moment I pretty much fell in love with you.“

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: fluff, humor, establisedrelationship!au

word count: 7.7k+

warnings: profanity (they are beyond terrified), inaccurate depictions of amusement park shenanigans, neurotic clowns (but they’re acting)

A/N: IM SO SRY ITS LITERALLY NOT EVEN HALLOWEEN ANYMORE GOODBYE DD; in my defense they typically have these typa things open after halloween ends... miss rona just isn’t allowing it this year ofc ;w; a special thanks to @viopera​ , @koushiningg​, and @bangtans-peaceful-piegon​ for letting me use their likeness, i love u all. and i hope you enjoy this late halloween fic right before thanksgiving break!

The car rolls to a smooth stop. The man in the driver’s seat puts the car into park—turning towards you while placing a reassuring hand on your thigh.

“Hey,” he says, a small close-lipped grin painting across his features, “you excited?”

You reposition in your seat so you can face him, or more specifically, your best-friend-turned-lover—the sight of him smiling causes you to elicit one of your own, your nerves slightly subsiding.

“I am actually,” you admit, “how long has it been? Six? Seven years?”

“Around there I think, but we should probably get going. The lines are probably going to be stupid long like always,” he suggests, his hand leaving your thigh only to ruffle the hair on top of your head, "Here's to new memories Y/N."

You step out onto the pavement—the crisp, cold night air nipping at your cheeks and nose. The cooler temperature serving as a reminder that winter was yet to come and autumn was about to come to a close. You form an O-shape with your mouth, exhaling sharply and seeing your own breath swirling and blending into the air around you.

Footsteps approach you from the side as you shut the car door. Your head whips around to see Jimin walking towards you with a dopey grin plastered on his face. In response, your eyes playfully loll back, a stream of air huffing out of your nose.

You shift your focus back towards in front of you, eyeing the roller coaster that intimidatingly loomed beyond the fence of the park, the drop tower that appeared just as high, and the other neighboring attractions that towered significantly enough to be seen from afar. The whole stretch of the park emitted a red glow, from what you could assume was from the large-scale lighting and technology that was spread out across the expanse.

A soft hand slides its way from your forearm down to your palm, intertwining all in one smooth motion. It was warm and comforting much unlike your frozen, almost entirely numb ones.

“Someone’s a little cold aren’t they,” he teases, using his other hand to attempt to rub more warmth into yours.

“You know my hands are chronically cold,” you pointedly whine, causing small clouds of air to shoot out of his mouth and nose due to his laughter.

He locks the car and you two begin making your way towards the entrance—from what seemed like a mile, in reality, was only a block away. There was practically no gap in between the two of you the entire time, taking advantage of each other’s body heat amidst the numbingly cold weather.

The wait wasn't too shabby, but you knew it was because time always seemed to pass by so much faster when you were with him, most of the pastime consisting of talking about how your past week has been, the fuckton of assignments you two had gotten, and the dangerously high intakes of caffeine you two had consumed as per usual.

The conversation ceased after a while, and it was just the two of you pressed side to side in comfortable silence, hands still intertwined. It was interesting to see such a vast variety of ages all around you—the most common age range were teenagers or people of the same age as the two of you, which wasn’t a surprise. After getting past the ticket booth and security check, you

two finally make it inside.

The first thing you notice is the large, antique carousel that hadn’t changed in the tiniest bit since the last time you were here.

The meticulously decorated entrance—brought to life by the fire torches, heavy-duty fog machines that didn't allow one to see after 10 feet ahead of them, bright lights that were replaced by either no lights at all or a faint red tint, and just the whole ambiance—had greatly juxtaposed the simplicity and familiarity of the carousel that stood in the eye of it all.

The heat of the fire torches allow you to regain some warmth back into your body—you create a small gap in between you and Jimin, in which he pouts and lifts your intertwined hands up to his face, pressing a kiss into the back of your hand.

“So, where do you wanna go first?” He asks, swinging your arm back and forth after passing through the gates.

“I’m fine with whatever,” you enunciate a bit loudly, the usual noises of amusement park shenanigans hindering your hearing.

“You sure about that?”

You click your tongue, “Jimin please, I’m a college student now, not a puny 8th grader anymore,” you argue, watching him turn away as he tries to stifle his laughter, “I swear!”

“Alright! Alright! I’ll believe you,” he eventually caves, frantically waving his hand to dismiss your concerns, “But I won’t believe you until I see it.”

“Oh, so we’re gonna play that game huh,” you retort, brows furrowing as a smirk creeps across your face, “Alright, so what do you think about riding that?” You ask innocently, motioning up towards the drop tower that forced one to crane their neck all the way back just to see the top.

You break your focus as you look back down and turn towards him to gauge his reaction. His jaw dropping down to his knees—eyes widened in complete bafflement and horror.

“Y/N. I am literally going to fucking die if I ride that shit. Oh my god.”

“What do you mean? It’s totally safe! I’ve been on it so many times.” You attempt to console him, knowing it’s futile because of the piercing glare he gives you right after you say that.

“And that’s supposed to make it better how?!"

You soothingly rub the back of his hand in an attempt to ease his nerves, “Of course I won’t push you if you don’t want to, you know.”

He sighs, “Well, now you’re just making me sound like a puny 8th grader.”

“I can assure you that you very much, are not Chim.” And he smirks at that, tightening his grip on your hand, making you wish that you didn't give him that ego boost in the first place because he surely didn’t need any more of that.

You take some time to mull over your options, but instead, go with whatever your gut feeling was initially leaning towards, “Okay, so what if every time you take me to a house, I have to take you on a ride. You get to choose the house and I get to choose the ride.”

He nods in acknowledgment, “I’m listening.”

“Does that sound valid?” You inquire.

He bites on his bottom lip, taking a moment to quickly cogitate between the options you had given him, and at last, he nods, "It sounds like a win-win."

"Or a lose-lose." You chuckle, and he mirrors.

He shakes his head, “I know you like rollercoasters and all that scary shit, but there’s also a ton of stuff that they’ve added since we’ve last been here.” He replies, thinking out loud, while making you feel more content with your decision, “You got a deal ma’am.” He affirms at last—releasing his grip to offer you his hand to seal the deal, in which you confirm resolutely by shaking it.

Just like he said, the amusement park most definitely stepped up their game ever since you both were middle schoolers, navigating the large expanse with a bunch of other measly and equally puny peers.

The deeper you two make your way into the park, the more themed attractions lined the path. At this point, you could barely make out the bottom half of your legs due to the thickness of the fog. Actors were running around left and right—faces decorated with FX makeup that you could barely discern because of the dim lighting—effectively scaring others, clear by the amount of ear-splitting shrieks you've heard in the past ten minutes that was enough to make your eardrums burst.

Jimin takes note of your slight tenseness. He wasn't oblivious and he knew that you were trying to feign nonchalance—but the razor-tight grip on his hand and lack of chatter on your end was saying otherwise. But just like everything you do, he thought it was cute anyway.

He promptly squeezes your hand, making you turn to face him, "Do you want the first pick?"

You hum, "You can have it if you want."

"Are you sure?"

"Yess," you drag out exasperatedly, "how many times do I have to tell you that I'll be perf– !" You abruptly halt as a zombie (that very much isn't real is what you keep reminding yourself) whizzes past you, brushing against your shoulder and making you jump and trip over your own two feet.

The man beside you is quick to react—leaping in front of you with his arms out so you could fall into his grasp. And you do, gripping his arms to better steady yourself and stand up. As you attempt to straighten yourself out, your head sinks into his chest, laughter erupting out of the two of you to the point where his knees almost give out.

You detach yourself from his chest, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes from laughing so goddamn much. Finally regaining your poise, you immediately slip your fingers back in between his. He cards a hand through his locks with his remaining hand while taking deep breaths.

While tugging him away from where you two were standing to avoid another ruckus... granted that you were at a haunted amusement park, you shout into foggy air, "I'm fine, I'll be fine Jimin! Let's go!", hoping that maybe if you spoke it out into the world, you could manifest it into being true.

Well, weren’t you wrong.

-

A rare and near impossible feat is what you were able to accomplish: forcing Jimin to make a decision. Despite him already being a trademark libra, you always believed that one of his most standout and consistent libra-esque traits was the fact that he was so indecisive. To which had resulted in him forcing you to make decisions instead of him most of the time, whether they had been trivial or not.

The moment you realized that this "feat" wasn’t much of a feat, after all, was when you two had finally reached the entrance of the first haunted attraction he had chosen, his impulsive and most likely ulterior-motivated driven decision causing you to retract all preceding moments in which where you were being stubborn and indignant in him making the first pick.

Just your luck, his explanation behind his decision (and your almost near-death experience) is that he says and you quote, “Start off with a bang! We get the worst over with now so it’s all smooth sailing for the rest of the night. Trust me.”

For some context, you had a very  rational fear of clowns. The year of 2016 was already bad enough as it was—a time in which you had gotten out of your first serious relationship, afterward giving yourself the most horrendous haircut in your entire life because you were emotionally strung and the scissors… well they just happened to be within an arm’s reach.

Later on in said year when you had become a junior and assignments had been piling up higher and higher without any shits given whatsoever, your minuscule fear of clowns had been blown out of all proportions—ultimately fueled by the number of clown sightings around your town and one altercation that you still think about until this day. Four years later, you can still vividly recall the time where you were coming home after studying all day at the local library and on the other side of the street, you had spotted a clown—feet planted to the cement sidewalk, body immobile besides their head that would keep its focus on you as you continuously made your way down the street. As you began to quicken up your pace, the clown began to reciprocate your actions from across the way, and you came to the conclusion that you didn’t really wanna die that night so you sprinted the entire rest of the way home.

And here you two were, at the front of the line standing behind the black curtain entrance—next to a rugged wood sign with the words, CLOWNEUROTICS, inscribed with a dripping, rich red liquid which you surmise was fake blood and not Kool-Aid.

“I cannot believe I let you have the first pick and you do this to me” You quip, chewing the chapped skin of your lips, breath shallow and bated.

“Y/N, you’ll be just fine. I’ll be here right beside you, remember?” he assures you once more, giving you another tight squeeze on your hand.

The curtains swish open, the employee in a simple all-black ensemble motioning the two of you to come inside. You close your eyes, taking one deep and steady inhale before stepping in.

You can barely make out your surroundings, let alone Jimin, who was standing right beside you. The worker’s voice hollers over the deafening noises of the tent. “Follow the path, don’t go backwards, or else you'll hold up the line. And you see that green light?” He asks while pointing to the tiny green bulb that was down the hallway in front of you, “Take a right from there.”

Jimin replies, knowing that you’re too fear-stricken to form coherent sentences at the moment, “Alright, thanks.”

The man nods, and Jimin tugs on your hand as he begins to walk forward. You follow closely behind, reminding yourself to take breaths before you flat out lose consciousness.

As you reach the end of the hallway and the green light bulb the man mentioned, Jimin pauses and turns around to stand in front of you, placing his hands on your shoulders.

“Y/N, I know you hate my guts right now, but I’m sorry in advance and just know that I love you, okay? You have full permission to torture me after this.” He reassures with a wide grin.

“Yeah, yeah, I love you too,” you grumble, lips downturned and head hanging low.

You feel his soft lips graze over your cheek, leaving a chaste peck before giving you an airy, irresistible smile that you can’t really help but relent, even though it already feels like your heart is about to implode on itself.

Taking a right, the setting of the attraction comes into periphery. White walls and floors—reminiscent of a hospital, are tainted with blood, a disarray of medical equipment, and severed body parts. You take notice of the vacant hospital beds, sheets crumpled and stained with red. Framed pictures of medical staff were hanging by loose nails, glass shattered, bloody splatters and smears all over the frames, walls, and white tile.

You two reach a doorway, next to one of the hinges was a sign that clearly said, Psychiatric Ward. Well, I guess that explains the neurotics part.

In an attempt to swallow down some of the fear in your throat, you tighten your grip on Jimin’s hand while opting to slither your remaining hand around his bicep.

He takes notice of your actions that were propelled by your increasing fear, and naturally, he can’t help but feel bad, “Hey, you know I’d never let anything happen to you.” He tells you, shaking you out of your slight daze, “You can hold onto me the whole time and stick your head in my shoulder just like you did years ago, I won’t mind,” he teases while booping your nose.

“Alright, let’s just get this over with, please.” You huff out, determined to somehow put on maybe not a brave, but a braver face than what he expects from you.

You manage to fail in a whopping, record-breaking, ten seconds of going inside.

The first jumpscare was so entirely predictable—the thunderous pounds against the wall, the trudging and supposedly neurotic clowns (although clowns are already neurotic enough as they are) had all built up suspense until a head of a clown had shot up from around the corner. Their usual clown features distorted with gashes in their skin and blood dribbling out of the corners of their mouth, clothes ripped and stained. Your entire body violently spasms, a shrill shriek, and an embarrassingly long string of curses leave your lips in a matter of mere seconds.

You don’t even notice the man you’re holding onto folding over in laughter because the clown is still very much still following you even after you turn the corner, but before you can recalibrate and trek forward another clown materializes just sparse inches at your side. Your entire body forcefully jerks back, knocking into Jimin, but the force doesn’t phase him in the slightest as he swiftly brings his arms around your frame to prevent you from falling back.

Next to you, the man’s laughter hasn’t ceased a bit the entire time, and as you quickly dash forward and away from the clowns that you oh-so-wanted to knock a tooth out of, while clinging onto his side, he presses a kiss to the top of your head, “Hanging in there?”

“I think I’m gonna murder you before I murder any of these clowns.”

“Noted!” he chimes while playfully bumping his head into yours.

As you two turn another corner, the sight of more clowns banging against vacant windows on either side of you has you wincing, and you could swear you could feel your left eye start to involuntarily twitch. You come to the indubitable realization that amidst dozens of clowns, you are evidently the biggest one here.

The sounds that blaringly elicit from your lips are the nearing equivalent to keyboard smashes with a variety of curse words in between. In short, if you had a swear jar, you’d be practically penniless at this point.

The clowns are quick to take note of your cowardly conduct, using it to their advantage and targeting you specifically—reaching and intruding so eerily close that you’re almost convinced that they’re actually touching you. You cower in their presence, squirming and sinking deeper and deeper into Jimin’s hold as you make your way down the path.

Beads of cold sweat began to assert their own path down your forehead—heart ricocheting against the walls of your chest, straining the cords of your throat because of your never-ending shouts and shrieks of terror upon terror. Your whole body was convulsing and shivering without fault, even when accompanied by the body heat of the man next to you, the harsh lighting of the overhead lights, and the lack of ventilation in this shoddy tent proved to be no match against your bodily functions that were going completely haywire. If you were an Amazon package, you would have a large ‘Caution: Handle With Care’ sign slapped right onto the box.

The pea-sized amount of pride that remains within you is the only thing stopping you from completely losing your shit.

Jimin's laughter—airy and unwavering, tickling the shell of your ear was the only thing keeping you grounded, serving as a constant reminder that at the very least when you might have lost all your pride and composure, you still had him by your side.

Without much forethought, he continues to lay kisses along your temple, clutching you close to his chest and keeping you upright as your knees constantly buckled under the weight of your looming fear, crumbling composure, and the grisly clowns that were most definitely preying on your downfall.

The ten-minute duration—which to you, had felt like a whole lifetime-and-a-half had finally come to a close. Once you were able to discern what you thought was the exit of the tent—the small opening leading to what had looked like signs of civilization, you booked it without hesitation, hastily tugging Jimin with you to the point where he nearly tramples over his own feet and crashes to the floor due to the sheer and sudden force.

You two finally pass through the exit. Feeling as if you had just ran a timed mile in five minutes, your body caves immediately—hunching over, briskly bringing your hands to your knees to support your deteriorating physiological state. The sound of your heavy breathing gets disrupted by Jimin’s laughter. You stand up, straightening yourself out when you realize that other people were starting to make their way towards the exit too, and you two were clearly blocking the way out.

Jimin takes you by the wrist and swiftly pulls you aside as more people start to trickle out of the tent. You two lean against the metal fence, comfortably silent as he lets you catch your breath.

You huff out, taking deep exhales as you speak, "Holy fuck, what even was that?"

"The funniest thing I have ever seen," he shoots back with a smile, slightly breathless as well.

You blink rapidly, body slumping against the fence, still completely cynical and disbelieving in what you had experienced. Biting the inside of your cheek so hard you're pretty sure you left teeth marks, you wipe your sweat with the hem of your sleeve.

"You okay?" he asks softly, closing the gap in between the two of you.

You nod, affirming your composure in hopes that it would solidify it for real. Giving him a smile to ease the nerves you knew he had, you visibly saw his smile widen, and with that, you ruffle his hair, take his hand into your own, and walk a few steps forward before announcing brazenly into the chilly autumn wind,

"Drop zone time."

"Y/N PLEASE—!"

-

"Don't do this, anything else but this please." He pleads, lips jutting out while childishly tugging on your sleeve.

You groan, "Bub, we had a deal."

He presses his lip together, "I know... but just look at that! How does that even look remotely safe enough for one to ride?" He tries to reason with you, staring up at the attraction that he believes should not even be labeled as an 'attraction' in the first place.

You chuckle softly, shaking your head, "If it was that much of a safety hazard, it wouldn't even exist Chim."

"I will never understand why people ride this out of enjoyment and pleasure. This is insane," he says, his eyes trailing to the long line of people behind the two of you.

"It's three seconds, I swear. Three seconds compared to my ten minutes of cussing and wanting to punch a clown in the face is very reasonable in my opinion. You’ll be just fine, I’ll hold your hand the whole time," you add on.

He quietly freezes in place—eyes fixated on the tower, hands leaving the fabric of your sweater. You feel his warm hand come in contact with yours, the back of his hand grazing your knuckles. Lacing your fingers in between his, he meets your eyes, giving you a timid, lopsided grin. A silent affirmation that had said more than words could’ve. I trust you but I’m still scared shitless.

“You guys are next,” the worker announces, opening the gate and gesturing you two to come inside. Jimin’s smile dissipates, face contorting into a look of mortification at the man’s words—eyes widening to the size of what would be considered as utter shock and lips curling into a form of disgust.

Tugging lightly at his hand, he whips his head towards you, waiting to speak until you two have passed the gate, “Y/N, I’m literally gonna piss my pants like I’m not even joking.”

“Jimin!” you say in a hushed yell, “Please don’t, I know your pride is too precious to you for you to annihilate it by pissing on a ride that even kids go on.”

He scoffs, “Okay fine… but we’re getting churros after this.”

Your brows furrow in confusion, smiling at his tone, “Why would I argue against churros?”

“Hello, miss? Come this way, please,” another worker greets, leading the two of you to two vacant spots of the ride where you presume were going to be yours.

You nod, making your way towards the two seats, hearing Jimin splutter incoherent words and sounds from behind your shoulder.

He immediately plops into the innermost spot, refusing to be on the outermost seat that only had one accompanying seat on one side, albeit it truly didn’t matter. And of course, you don’t tell him that.

Smiling at his overt signs of apprehension, you slide into the spot next to him, beginning to put on the seatbelt over your lap.

Drumming his fingers on his knees, he already has his seatbelt buckled and his over-the-shoulder restraints locked and secured into place.

“Ugh, can these things go any tighter! I can still move under here,” he tuts, vigorously trying to push the restraints closer to his body, yet his attempts are proven to be in vain.

“Bub, they still want you to be able to breathe,” you remind him with a small giggle, your head popping out of the U-shaped bar to look over at him—his brows knit in concentration, nose scrunched, lips tucked into his mouth.

In a final attempt, you hear the man beside you take a sharp and deep inhale, only to hear a tiny click emit from the restraint shortly afterward.

He releases his bated breath, only to come to the realization that he can’t extend his stomach all the way forward, the bar forcing it to come short. He splutters, bringing his hand to cover his face while he coughs only to realize that his arm can’t fully reach around the bar to meet his face.

You watch this entire scene unfold out in front of you—wishing you could do something to help the poor guy, but you already knew your attempts would be pointless in the end as your arms are physically incapable of extending that far. You sink back into your seat to make sure he doesn’t see the fact that you were trying so hard not to laugh.

“Jimin, deep breaths, in and out,” you instruct him as the worker starts to make their rounds around the ride, double-checking for seatbelts and secured restraints.

“Y/N, that’s the problem, I can’t.”

“Try scooting back into your seat,” the worker suggests to Jimin, giving him an empathetic smile.

“What do you mean–oh, erm, thank you.”

She nods, shaking Jimin’s restraint a little more energetically to reassure the man of his safety.

As she leaves, he says to you, “Y/N, I can’t believe you convinced me to go on this.”

“Me too, honestly. I’m really proud of you Chim.” You admit, reaching out a hand towards him in which he takes.

“Three seconds, right?” He reiterates.

“Give or take, yeah.”

“Y/N—!”

Your seats suddenly clatter, signaling the start of your long ascent. Jimin’s grip on your hand tightens substantially, causing you to groan out in pain.

He quickly takes note of the noise, loosening his grip ever so slightly, “Oh my god, sor- oh fucking hell, there’s no going back now?!”

You chomp down on your bottom lip before another sound could escape your mouth—his grip on your hand tightening the higher you two go, “No, no you’re fine, it’s okay..”

“HOLY SHIT WHY ARE WE ALREADY THIS HIGH UP?!” He yelps, kicking his feet against the air—people’s heads starting to look as small as ants, the rest of the park coming into view as if you were experiencing it from a drone’s point of view.

“Dumbass, don’t look down!”

“It’s too late–what the hell, why can I see the whole damn city from here?!” He sticks his head out of his restraint, looking up and trying to find the top, “wHen the FUCK does this shit stop please, Y/N, I cAn’T do this?!?!”

“Chim. Breathe. Deep, steady breaths, okay?” You say while audibly taking breaths so he can do the same.

“Okay, okay,” he says, voice cracking but following suit.

After you think that he finally manages to get a grip on himself, you decide to try to take his mind off the situation at hand, “Jimin, look at the view.”

His breath softens as he begins to take in his surroundings. He could see everything. To him, it feels as if he had the city in the palm of his hand. The rollercoasters that reside next to the tower were practically reaching eye-level to him, and despite the lack of color due to the theme of the park, he thought it was mesmerizing anyway. He marvels at the fact that he could even see past the park—catching a glimpse of the cars zooming on the main highway, minute specks of light emitting from the windows of skyscrapers, people living in their own little worlds in each one, And of course, the envy of it all, the night sky—the dark depth littered with a multitude of stars in their own little patterns and worlds of their own as well.

The overhead speakers trumpet, ripping Jimin out of his trance-like state, “Welcome to the drop zone brave newcomers. I hope you’ve had an enjoyable trip on the way up here. And I hope that your descent is just as enjoyable as well. We will be dropping in... “

Jimin heaves out, “Now that’s just plain rude at this point.”

“Ten.”

“Are you okay?”

He scoffs. “What kind of question is that Y/N?!”

“Nine.”

“Jimin, you’ll be just fine,” You reassure for the umpteenth time.

“I swear if this is longer than three seconds–”

“Eight.”

He frantically kicks the air. “Fucking hell! I can’t believe I’m doing this right now, I miss the ground.”

“Seven.”

“We’ll be back down to earth sooner than you think, I’m telling you.”

“Six.”

“Oh my fucking god, oh my fuck–!”

“Five.”

“Oh fuck, holy shit–!”

“Jimin, I’ll be right beside you–”

“Four.”

“–the whole way.”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD?!”

“Thre–!”

Before the countdown can finish, you two plummet, plunging down at great speeds—a feral-sounding squawk leaving Jimin’s lips when it all happens.

He squeezes his eyes shut, refusing to see what was going on—letting go of your hand, he opts to hold onto the other handlebar on the restraint instead. His breath is caught in his throat, the ride is moving so fast that he can’t even produce any noise, let alone move his body.

Just like you have been saying this whole night, the ride ends in a blink of an eye. Or more specifically, three seconds, give or take.

Jimin slumps in his seat—fingers still curled so tightly around the handlebars that his knuckles turn pale.

You stick your head out of your restraint, craning your neck to look at him beside you, “Jimin, it’s done, it’s over.”

“Are you sure?” He mumbles.

“Open your eyes.”

His head slowly rises, eyes remaining shut. Cracking one eye slightly open, he loosens his grip on the handlebars before opening his eyes and letting out a deep sigh of relief.

"That wasn't so bad, right?" You beam, waiting for the restraints to be lifted.

"I wouldn't know, I had my eyes closed the whole time," he shyly admits, lifting the restraint off of him and unbuckling his seatbelt.

You two jump out of your seats, heading towards the gate and bidding the drop tower goodbye, juxtaposing afterthoughts lingering in the air.

"That felt so weird, I don't know if I wasn't able to move or if there wasn't enough time for me to react," he chuckles dryly while twining his hand with yours once again.

You smile, "Probably a little bit of both," you suggest, eyes scanning the park for any signs of a churro stand, "but hey, you survived!"

He smiles at that, teeth out and all, "We both did," he assures earnestly, "and now as an incentive, we are getting churros."

Your eyes light up—the sight of the bright neon sign being the next destination of the night. Jimin notices your sudden reaction, quickly looking in the same direction as you and pinpointing the small churro stand from afar.

To your luck, the line isn't very long—people are most likely preoccupied with the multitude of attractions that are only going to be available for this appropriate time of the year, taking advantage of the opportunity before having to wait for an entire year before getting to experience it all over again. But you and Jimin weren't like most people, and you two strongly believed that churros should be indulged in at any time during any situation. And right now, it was being utilized as a form of consolation, just in the shape of a deep-fried pastry sprinkled with cinnamon sugar.

After obtaining your consolation desserts, you two resume your journey around the park. Too preoccupied indulging in your churro, you’re temporarily able to block out the commotion that was occurring around you, keeping four out of five senses focused on said churro and churro only. 

“You feel better?” You ask, taking a brief moment to dust off all the cinnamon and sugar off the corners of your mouth. 

“Mmhmph,” he incoherently mumbles, after shoving half a churro into his mouth. He abruptly pauses, cheeks puffed up and eyes wide, realizing he can’t talk and instead he nods with a grin as wide as his mouth would allow him to stretch out. 

You giggle at his actions, taking your focus off of him to take another bite. 

A few moments later, when most of your churros noticeably nowhere to be seen, you ask, “Where should we go next?”

He cinches his brows together, “We probably shouldn’t go on anything to extreme, considering we just ate. How about the ferris wheel?” He suggests, pointing to the attraction that was standing in front of the two of you. 

You nod, “You’re right, these workers already go through enough. And we shouldn’t add cleaning vomit to the list.”

He chuckles, “Agreed. Let’s go, the line is pretty short!” He exclaims jubilantly, flashing you a mega-watt grin while pulling you along with him towards the gated entrance. 

Leaning against the gate, you two wait for the round of riders that were currently riding to finish, mindlessly scrolling on your phones to pass the time. 

The gate entrance opens, tearing your focus off of your phone and back to reality. The enormous and dazzling neon wheel that stood boldly enveloped your vision in replacement of your dim and dark-mode setted phone screen, making you blink a few times to adjust to its harsh hues. 

One of the carts comes to a halt, doors releasing as the group of friends inside it begin to grab their belongings and head out. The worker in charge motions you to step inside after they leave, the two of you following suit. When you two become situated and seated, they press a few buttons on their control panel, the doors promptly swinging close. A few brief seconds after, the cart jolts before moving just enough so the other people behind you could board onto the next cart.

The carts reminded you of the teacup ride at Disneyland—built in a circular shape, seats lined around the border with a small gap made for the entrance door, but of course, it was void of steering wheels in the middle. Now that would just be a recipe for disaster, and a solid segue into Jimin vomiting all over you.

He nudges your leg, “It’s so funny to me.”

You turn to him, “What is?”

“Out of all things to do while being here, and we’re riding the ferris wheel,” he beams, a light chuckle leaving his lips, “I don’t know whether to pity us or not.”

“All my pride has left me already and I’m okay with it,” you tut, lips unwillingly curling upward as you replayed the scenes of what had happened earlier at the drop zone, “I wouldn’t talk too much if I were you Mr. ‘I’m gonna piss my pants.” You tease, poking him in the side.

He scoffs, squirming slightly where you poked him, “I am still proud of myself, I didn’t think I was gonna make it up there.”

You turn away, holding in your laughter, “I didn’t think you were either.”

“Hey! Don’t even get me started on you,” he says, nose scrunching and brows furrowing, “those poor clowns were about to get their noses punched in if it wasn’t for me being there. I think your screams and threats were starting to scare them more than they were scaring me.” He fires back, giggles erupting in his throat and interrupting his words.

“I’m not even gonna argue against that. We are so sad,” you say—laughter flaring up in your chest as well, the two of you keeling over so hard the cart begins to swing back and forth.

“Woah! Woah! Woah! Easy there,” Jimin yelps as you two take notice of the movement and immediately cease your actions, hands grabbing the ends of the cart to try to stabilize it. 

Just as your cart has moved up enough for you to start seeing an overhead view of the park, he whips his phone out before saying, “Lemme take a picture of you, the view is so nice here.”

As he whips out his phone, you scoot to the other end of the cart as he brings his phone up to his face and focuses it on you. Naturally, you bring your hand up, hand changing to a trademark peace sign as you flashed a smile for the camera. He brings his phone down many lock screen worthy pictures later, happy with the result evident from the grin etched onto his face. 

“Your turn,” you say, motioning you two switch spots as you take your phone out of your pocket. 

Jimin, infuriatingly photogenic, simply sits while staring off into the distance, jaw on full display as you begin to rapidly snap pictures. Hearing your camera clicks he changes his position—turning towards you as the chilly wind blows through his hair, eyes crinkling and dazzling smile on full display that you can’t help but smile at the familiar yet all too breathtaking sight. 

Placing your phone in your lap, you scoot closer to him—leaning your back against his shoulder, you prop your legs up onto the seats. Turning towards you, he snakes his arms around your waist as his chest comes in contact with your back. You let yourself sink deeper into his grasp, conforming into his body as warmth spreads to your fingertips. Your head lulls back, falling into the space right below his collarbones as you stroke the back of his hands gingerly with the pad of your thumbs. He rests his chin on top of your head, the two of you simply admiring the view below. 

The ride still hasn’t started—people still boarding the ride as the carts momentarily halt and move from time to time. 

Not long after, your cart reaches the very top. 

Head peering over the edge, he turns back, “See, why did we have to go on the drop tower when we could’ve went here instead,” he grumbles, the peak of the tower standing nearly just as tall as the highest point of the ferris wheel to the point where you could stare directly ahead of you without tilting your head.

“Well that takes all the fun out of it,” you tease, making him frown, “Hey! You keep forgetting what you made me go through before that. Don’t think I’ve gotten over it that quickly.”

Looking displeased at your answer, he quirks a brow, “You seemed to be fine when we were riding the tower.”

“What can I say, you make a very good distraction.”

“I think I could say the same for you,” he proposes, “I swear I saw some of those clowns turn away and start laughing every time you threatened them. I was like ‘Yes! That’s my feisty girlfriend!” he cheers, pumping his fists into the air. You cower down in embarrassment, grinning to yourself while trying to swat his arm away. 

“I feel so burned out already though,” you say, head falling back into his chest, “I think it’s ‘cause we’re here at night.” 

“And because you track-starred your way through that entire maze,” he adds.

“That too.”

“I feel it too, we did more walking than anything else to be honest.” He says, which is very much true. The drop tower was all the way on the other side of the park and the churro stand took you guys a whole twenty minutes just to find. 

You hum, “Should we head out after this then?”

He rests his cheek on top of your head, “Yeah, if you want to.”

“I feel bad though, it feels like we just got here,” you admit, chuckling into his arm. 

He shakes his head, hands reaching over to play with the ends of your hair, “Don’t feel bad, I think we’re still hungover because of midterms. And besides, I’m hungry and I don’t wanna eat a ten dollar hotdog after just eating a stale ten dollar churro.”

“Yeah, we can just eat one dollar ramen, we’re still college students above everything.”

And you truly couldn’t argue with that. “Of course.”

Taking your hands off of his, you prop a hand onto the cart to sit yourself up onto the seats. He releases his hold on you, his arms returning back to his sides as the warmth of your body dissipates to his dismay. 

You adjust your sitting position so you could face him—reaching out to take one of his hands into your own. Your eyes bore into his, gazing into the pools of honey that were his irises. The view is slightly obscured as his eyes crinkle.

He smiles, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

You don’t even register that he’s speaking to you until he leans in slightly, his features starting to appear bigger as he starts to close the gap between you two. You shake your head once he gets so close in proximity that you could see each crinkle that etches themself on the sides of his eyes each time he grins. 

Your eyes flicker to his lips, taking notice of the action as you quickly revert back to his eyes. He smirks

“Thank you for taking me here,” you say as your eyes intently gaze into his once more, “above all the trepidation we’ve put each other through tonight, at least we’re here together.”

He nods, gratitude evident without him having to utter a single word. It’s as if time is frozen, everything around you stagnant and still, eyes boring into each other because nothing could just quite compare to this. Not even the surreal view of the city or the ability to see all the bustle within the amusement park or even the stars that littered the sky. 

You press your lips against his. Although you initiated the action, the sensation of his lips against yours, regardless of how natural, sends a flurry of shockwaves down your spine. Your body tingles—as if you’re floating and the cart you were sitting on wasn’t even there to support you. 

And he kisses you back. His lips are warm, welcoming, and comforting—like wrapping yourself in your favorite blanket in the comforts of your bed, the indescribable bliss as the fabric consumes your body and runs over your skin. 

Kissing him felt even more blissful than that.

The kiss isn’t fervent, but it’s full of longing. It’s as if he’s communicating to you, through the way his lips mesh against yours, that he plans on making up for all the lost time. Time that could’ve been spent doing things like kissing you, loving you wholeheartedly and unashamedly, was spent pining for each other with the label of being ‘best friends’ standing in the way for far too long. He wants to make up for it just as much as you do. 

He slides his hand under the crevice of your knee, pulling you closer to him as he continues to kiss you. You bring your hand up to his neck, entangling your fingers into his hair as you lightly scratched at the surface of his scalp. 

He kisses you like he’ll never get to again, which isn’t completely false—the fact that you two were so high up in the air to the point where the stars look tangible, basking in each other’s presence and each other’s presence only. 

Frustrated at the abnormal layout of the seating, he hooks his arms under your legs—hoisting you up and placing you in his lap so you were straddling him—incognizant of how the cart was starting to dip due to the unequal distribution of weight. 

The gesture makes you squeak, and you can start to feel him smile against your lips. Before you could do anything else, the cart totters—rocking a few times before moving, signaling that the ferris wheel is finally beginning its journey. 

“Oh fuck—!”

“Oh shit—!”

The two of you immediately detach from each other as you take notice of the unbalance, hurriedly leaping onto opposite sides of the cart while gripping onto the sides for dear life, the cart rocking back and forth at a concerning extent. You sneak glances at each other, your faces painted with the same expression of shock and distress.  

Seconds pass and the cart steadies—laughter instantaneously taking over the two of you.

“I think that’s our cue to leave,” he says, a little breathless while his body hunched over his seat.

“Remind me the next time we kiss to check if we’re less than a foot above the ground first,” you tease, playfully swatting his knee.

He grabs your hand, pressing a kiss onto your knuckles before shaking your intertwined hands up in the air—obnoxiously shouting into the frigid autumn wind, “Yes chief!” 

-

-

-

MASTERLIST

[chaptersinprogress]

diamonds are forever

“Great,” Tsuna whimpered. “Can I have my car back now?”

aka Tsuna just wanted one hour, just ONE, of uninterrupted sleep.

Rating: T

Pairings: Sawada Tsunayoshi & Skull

Warnings: 007-levels of car chases, violence & swearing

Prompt: @khrrarepairweek 2021 day 2 | accidental kidnapping

Tsuna prided himself on being able to sleep anywhere, everywhere, and through any thing.

Standing up in a train, during a Michael Bay movie at the cinema, and once, through an actual earthquake!

(It was a minor one and admittedly not the smartest thing in world, but in his humble opinion, he'd rather die unaware in his sleep than awake and terrified.)

Basically, Tsuna very much valued his shut-eye.

So when he had to pull 2 consecutive all-nighters for finals week submissions - not sleeping for almost 60 hours straight - the first thing he did after the last paper was march off to his car parked right outside the campus hall, and pass out in the backseat.

It was the perfect plan: nap for a while in the back, then once he'd recovered more functionality and brain power, drive home and sleep properly in his bed.

He had even prepared a blanket and pillow for the occasion!

Eyes sliding shut as he bundled himself up, Tsuna mentally patted himself on his back for his foresight. Then with a sigh, happily tipped himself into the waiting arms of Morpheus.

All was well in the world.

Until a body crashed through the front passenger-side window.

Tsuna jackknifed up with a shriek to accompany the blaring car alarm; the vehicle rocking heavily as the person who landed inside scrambled around the front, swearing loudly.

"Fucking, fuck fuck, where are the keys?!" the person yelled, strapping himself into the driver's seat and frantically rummaging through the compartments. "Got them!"

Slamming the keys into the ignition, he gunned the engine and the car raced forward with a squeal of tires, leaving behind a thin trail of exhaust.

Barely catching on to what was happening, Tsuna opened his mouth to yell at the person who was stealing his car. And instead let out another shriek when bullets exploded through the rear window and shredded the unused headrest beside him.

The sound of glass shattering along with the roar of his poor second-hand purchase's engine that the car-thief was pushing like a fucking NASCAR drowned out his opera audition. Then a sharp turn threw him off the seat and onto the floor with a yelp, entangled in his blanket and pillow.

"Fucking fuck, fuckity fuck," the car-thief chanted as he spun the car in dizzying circles, swerving through narrow lanes and along hairpin turns.

Tsuna dug his fingernails into the leather beside him and hung on. Lifting himself up slightly, he got ready to give his unasked-for chauffer a piece of his mind.

But the bullets smashing through glass and the metal body of the car had him ducking back down, whimpering in fear.

The whole thing was like a terrifying roller-coaster of a nightmare!

'Please let it be a nightmare', Tsuna wished fervently. At least he would get to wake up, instead of being shot full of holes or turning into paste when the car crashed!

A horn blared, tires screeched and he was unceremoniously thrown forward as his commandeered vehicle drifted wildly. Pulse pounding in his ears, Tsuna faintly registered the enthusiastic yelling coming from the front.

Then all the noise died down into a pleasant silence.

"Wait, did I lose them?" the person spoke aloud. "Holy shit, I think I lost them!"

Tsuna (metaphorically) hit the roof. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR!" he shrieked.

The person screamed and slammed the brakes. Tsuna's head banged harshly against the back of the driver's seat.

Groaning, the undergraduate cradled his head in his hands. He already was having a headache from the lack of sleep and being unceremoniously woken up; the impact with the car seat was doing him no favours.

The driver twisted around to peer into the back. "Oh my god," he muttered. "Who are you?!"

Tsuna squinted angrily at the figure. "Who am I?" he said incredulously. "I should be asking you that! Who the fuck are you?! You tried to steal my car!"

"Oh my god, did I just accidentally kidnap someone?" the person asked himself. "Holy fucking shit, I did! Oh my god, I accidentally kidnapped someone!"

Tsuna's vision finally cleared enough for him to properly see the asshole who'd stolen his car with him still inside it. And his jaw promptly dropped.

'112, a clown has escaped the circus' he though hysterically. 'He's in my car. Which has been through an action movie car chase and shot full of holes, courtesy of said clown. Please come and collect.'

"Hey kid, are you ok?!" the aforementioned clown asked frantically. "Are you hurt? Do you need me to call the ambulance?"

Tsuna couldn't help but shoot him a truly withering look. "I'm fine. No thanks to you. And I'm not a kid, I'm 22 for fuck’s sake."

He could see why the guy would think otherwise though. Tsuna looked positively baby-faced compared to the whole multiple facial piercings, bright purple spikey hair, make-up, motorcycle suit and weird (facepaint? tattoo?) teardrop thing the other had going on.

"Oh," said the driver, clearly surprised. Then he puffed up slightly. "I'm 26. The name's Skull. Also known as the Immortal Stuntman, Hated by Death Itself."

"Delighted," Tsuna replied, sarcasm dripping from the word. "Now about my car-"

The rear windshield was taken out entirely by a spray of bullets that had both the occupants ducking and yelling in surprise.

"Let's discuss that later!" Skull shouted as he floored the accelerator.

And Tsuna once again found himself an unwilling participant in a high-speed, high-stakes car chase.

"Get onto the seats and buckle up!" Skull ordered as they left the town behind and raced along narrower and narrower mountain roads.

Swearing like a sailor, Tsuna did as he was told, flinching as bullets pinged off the rock face, and clinging onto the seats for dear life. Then smothered a fearful yell when the sound of a vehicle crashing through the guardrail came from behind them.

Skull shot Tsuna a fierce grin through the rearview mirror, more teeth than smile. "Hang in there kid, we're almost at the finish line."

Taking another turn at break-neck speed, Skull twisted around with a pistol in hand and shot twice out of the back, then resumed driving. All within a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment.

The front tires of the final car chasing them exploded and the vehicle fish-tailed wildly, smashing into the side of the mountain with a sickening crunch before rolling off the side of the cliff.

The stuntman whooped loudly as they continued speeding down the road. “And we’re home-free!”

“Great,” Tsuna whimpered. “Can I have my car back now?”

[absoluteindulgence]

HC: Hot Girl Summer with the Boys

A/N: Hey y’all, I’m back... Let’s party. This is a magical world where the Rona has not taken over the world and summertime was filled with nothing but fun and bad choices ✌🏿. Sorry that it’s long, I had a lot of thoughts lmao. I hope you guys like this~ Characters are aged up⬆🆙

☀ 🌞Mirio🌞☀

Staying home reading a book... just fucking kidding

Mirio couldn't keep his ass still even if you told him to

This man is taking you all over the world, every amusement park to every ride.

Ever looked fear in the face? Well, being in front of every rollercoaster multiple times means you have.

His true daredevil nature comes out as you both try to see who will last longer going down the roller coaster

You've wanted to throw in the towel many times, but persevered, beating Mirio by a landslide. 

Due to all the crowded lines and the fact that you're heroes, everyone lets you skip. You try being modest, but it doesn't work as the other patrons say, "Not only are you my favorite heroes but my favorite couple. You deserve to have fun!"

The willingness of everyone approving of your vacation time is gratifying, to say the least.

After spending time doing all the extreme rides, You guys enjoy all the other stalls.

Ironic enough, Mirio comes across the win-a-prize games and swears to get you one.

You try to tell him not to worry, but that fires him up more. I guess in his blonde brain, he thinks you don't want one, so he wants to prove your cute ass wrong.

And oh boy, did he.

He had accurate precision: Throwing the ball in the cup, throwing the hoop onto the bottle, shooting the paper plate off entirely.

Mirio the Assassin confirmed

After managing to win 4 STUFFED ANIMALS, 3 are for you while 1 goes to Eri.

The feels right in the kokoro~

With enough wins under his belt, Mirio treats you to bubble tea and taiyaki. With no shame, you stuff your face happy to finally enjoy food that won't come up.

"Wow, this taiyaki sure is great! But nothing is as sweet as you, baby."

Heart: ABLAZE

This goofball can't even let you enjoy your food in silence. But his honest smile compliments the moment as your flushed cheeks puff from drinking your favorite thirst quencher.

The day ends with you walking around the amusement park, arms full of toys, and finding a unique spot to watch the marvel of the sunset.

As you hold hands, a glance is shared as you two share a passionate kiss.

❄Shouto🔥

You guys are spending a lot of time reading manga and going to cafes.

Shouto lives to see you get dressed up as you let your hair flow in the wind (no matter how long or short, he knows you like the cool air on your scalp. The smile that spreads across your face is contagious as he stares at you with a similar grin)

Your beauty leaves all the other pedestrians gawking as Shouto, nonchalant but proud holds your hand.

Some fans come up to take selfies with you guys and damn do the photos look good. 

Going to various cafes through Japan has been a bucket list that you've shared since your first date. Rating each and creating a rating system. When all other plans fail, the top-rated are the ones you'll go back to.

The day is mellow, leaving you to stay inside because you feel like it. Cuddling with Shouto has proved to be an all-time favorite.

His light snores turn into light conversations. He has a hard time opening his eyes since he feels secure in having you by his side.

When you finally wake up, you cook together, his fave ofc, Cold-ass Soba. (One time you pranked him by boiling the noodles in strawberry milk, and he retaliated by putting pepper in your tea. On that day, you learned not to come between a man and his soba)

When yearning for a little excitement, you drag Shouto to a karaoke bar

He tries not to get too involved, but then you play one of his favorite angsty songs, and he's singing like one of the greats

You can't tell me that Shouto wouldn't vibe to Linkin Park, 3 Days Grace or The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Especially when he hated Endeavor to his core)

Shouto would give an excellent performance to Breaking The Habit, Home, and Face Down. I FEEL IT IN MY SPIRIT!!!

The only way you feel like you'll win…. Is if you rap Monster (Nicki's Verse ofc) or sing My Heart Will Go On lmao

Shouto thinks you're cheating tho because those are your trump cards when all else fails lmaooo

After the scream-singing match is done, you guys go home and drink a bunch of tea, hoping your voices aren't gone by the morning

💥Bakugou💥

If you're going to an amusement park, y'all going straight to the "horror" houses.

You guys usually go in to laugh at the horrible attempts to make you scared. Until there's that one jump scare that makes your heart leap out your chest.

You're breathless with the mocking laugh caught in your throat as you grip close to Katsuki's side.

This fiery bastard laugh gets even louder seeing you cower in embarrassment. Once he's done making fun of you, he kisses your forehead.

"About damn time, you move in close."

Now say you're not at an amusement park? You guys are going to the spa.

Not because you're tense but because it's always funny seeing Katsuki tense up when they try to butter him with complimentary things (thanks to being top heroes).

He hates going to public spaces and getting stuff for free. He wants to pay for the experience so that no one can say he takes advantage of his status.

Although it creates funny scenarios, you respect how committed he is.

His reasoning is that he's a citizen paying another citizen for their service.

Granted, if the service is excellent, the worker is guaranteed a tip (depending on the country since he likes to follow customs).

The funniest thing is him coming from Massage therapy, he's a big ol’ softie.

The cuddles are intense, and his face never changes from the color pink, and his smile is curved too high.

Onlookers seeing him smile are terrified, and yet you are smushing his face between your hands kissing him all over.

"You look so relaxed, Boomer, let's take a bath together~."

Coming back to his senses, he'll grit his teeth a little and retort, "I'm not a damn Boomer!"

He's not mad that you called him that he's just mad you said it in public LMFAO

🌋Kirishima🌋

You guys are spending most of your time at the beach, soaking in the sun and enjoying his thick ass hands rubbing sunscreen all over your body

Don't let him see you enjoying it, he might have to pull you away from the public and give you that good ole sea cucumber

But when he can't get your sweetness right away, he'll have to push his energy into something else

And ofc, Kiri has an active personality, and when you mix that with demolishing opponents while playing volleyball, you too get into your competitive mode.

Anyone playing against you guys will catch HELL. Some cried from the impact of the ball, hitting them. Some deserving for the shit-talking...

Others getting sincere apologies and an autograph or picture lmao

Everyone on the beach knows you two as the power couple, and you win the nicknames, Otters of the Sand.

After kicking so much ass, you guys enter an eating contest as a team. Everyone's surprised to see how many bowls you've cleared. The appetite is already built up, so you guys are willing to stuff your faces until you're waddling back to the hotel.

And with the stamina you've gained at UA, you made it happen. In Second place to Kiri. He basks in his crown, winning first place, and you guys happily waddle back to your hotel room, taking a shower together then cuddling.

Imagine you guys decide to stay lax the whole summer, video, and card games are the vibe.

You try hard to kick his ass in Smash and end up losing... No matter who you main. You even try random (3 times) and still lose.

"Wow, Babe, you're doing well for a sore loser. You almost got a 3 stock victory!"

His laugh ticks you off even though he's just teasing you, and you wanna switch the game. Even in the back of your head, you deem it pointless, but he still obliges you.

No tlk angy frm l0sng😡💢

When you've played your last game, you accept your defeat only to tickle him into submission.

He apologizes and wraps you into a bear hug smothering you in kisses.

[aflyingcontradiction]

The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 117 - Testament

But Tim isn’t going to sit home and wait, and Elias seems pretty insistent I go along. Part of me thinks it’s just so he can see if whatever this “preparation” he’s been trying to do on me works. - Jon

I guess, yeah, that's part of it and the other part is that he wants to make absolutely sure Jon gets touched by as many powers as he possibly can and sending him right into the lion's den is a good way of doing that, I suppose.

I don’t quite get those two. I suppose what they’ve done, seeing what they’ve seen… it’s a hell of a bond. The sort of thing I’ve mostly done alone.

Ouch. That is a painful realisation right there! (The usual disclaimer of "I'm obviously not talking about the scale of cosmic horror here because duh or for that matter even the scale of massive trauma" but I actually think that realisation is on some level relatable because of the realisation I had multiple times in my life of "I don't really know what a close bond feels like because I've never actually been anywhere close to the best friend of the people I've considered my best friends." Fortunately my luck has shifted somewhat in the "close emotional bonds" department, or at least I hope I'm not kidding myself about that, but the realisation that some people have these fire-forged, ride-or-die relationships and you're just kinda doing your own thing, dipping a finger shallowly into human connection every once in a while and then watching it flow away, is a bit of a twinge.)

And… aside from some, uh, uh, office gossip which I, I’m not sure is necessary or, uh, conducive to a workplace that… hey, it, it, it’s natural it’s, it’s normal.

I love how Jon just goes from deep emotional turmoil to being a bit upset that people are gossipping about whatever may be going on in his love life. Talk about emotional roller coasters!

Oh, yeah, I found something on the other body the circus stole, this “George Icarus.” (...) Jurgen Leitner. I just can’t be rid of him.

Ah, okay, this is where we learn who George Icarus was. Also, the pseudonym is very fitting, I mean, Leitner did, in fact, fly too close to the goddamn sun and subsequently crash and burn when he decided to create a library of fear books, didn't he?

He always said, if you don’t like something, you accept it and you adapt, or you fight and you change it. Whining doesn’t help. I always tried to live like that. But I think sometimes you feel like you’re adapting, but it’s just denial. - Basira

This is definitely something I've experienced myself but it's also definitely something I've seen in some people who like to go on like Basira's dad about stiff-upper-lip-don't-whine-adapt-and-overcome to other people and shame others for expressing their emotional pain. When the cracks finally do start showing up (usually under the influence of alcohol), it's not so much a crack as a full-on explosion.

But at least Daisy’s coming. I mean, I know she’s… difficult. Everything they say about her, it’s true, it’s fair. But, she’s solid. She’s a… a fixed point, and if she’s there, I know exactly where I stand, exactly what I’m doing, relative to her.

It's tragic but also on some level a little bit heartwarming that Basira never actually stops doing things relative to Daisy, even when it takes everything out of her, even when Daisy starts destroying herself.

Still stuck, still miserable, still angry. New traumas, but they hurt just like the old ones. Elias thinks he’s got this ingenious way to hurt people, but it’s just the same old and a creepy new package. Arsehole. God, I just want to rip his – When did I start to lose the parts of me that weren’t just anger? - Melanie

I always have a soft spot for the angry ones, the ones who have to forcibly stop themselves from punching people in the teeth, who have to put every last shred of willpower into keeping a lid on the boiling, hissing, steaming pot that is their inner life. The ones whose willpower sometimes fails them and then they do end up hurting people or themselves because of their anger. And not to go all REPRESENTATION here, but I'm actually glad to see that in TMA that character archetype is basically all women, because the people exploding in violent anger or having to try so fucking hard to keep it in and occasionally failing are usually guys.

They did manifest, but they weren’t what I thought they’d be. They were fused, somehow, all mixed together, a huge angry mass of dead flesh and guns.

I'm kind of glad this isn't a fully-fledged statement because I feel like that sentence, that image, is really all I need and anything further would actually weaken rather than strengthen the horror.

Good luck, Jon. I do hope you win. But I also hope it hurts.

Damn, this episode is so good at summarising characters in a line or two, isn't it?

I, I’m scared, I guess. – no, wait. No, no, I mean, ah, I don’t want that to be my last message, the thing that defines me. “Martin Blackwood, he was always scared, then he died. The end.” I don’t want that. - Martin

I'm a very anxious person and this is INSANELY relatable, this fear that all that's going to be left of you is the things you didn't do because you were terrified. ... Martin, stop making me tear up by being too damn relatable!

I need them to be safe, I need him to be okay.

Aw, Martin!

I mean, it’s not like I’m going to be safe, like my plan’s not dangerous, but it’s, it’s mine. This last couple of years, I’ve always been running, always hiding, caught in someone else’s trap, but, but now it’s my trap, and, well, I think it’ll work. I know, I know it’s not exactly intricate, but it felt good leaving my own little web.

a) This thought process makes perfect sense. Sometimes you just need to express your goddamn agency, even if it's dangerous and even if it's bound to hurt and b) I know the podcast immediately lampshades the "web" thing, but WEB!MARTIN THOUGH! I MEAN! THINK ABOUT IT! That would've been such an amazing plot point and they had it all set up. I mean, he's got a lot of good Lonely-related shit going on later, too, but ... why not both? I do enjoy it when the powers squabble over a character!

I used to blame my brother for going off his own and poking around where he wasn’t wanted. I used to blame myself for not helping him. But now… now it doesn’t matter. I’ve read through enough of these things to know that this doesn’t matter. The only thing you need to have your life destroyed by this stuff is just bad luck. Talk to the wrong person, take the wrong train, open the wrong door, and that’s it! - Tim

I think Tim's view of this is actually very close to the way that TMA handles this. The Entities don't eat you because you deserve it. They just happen to happen to someone. And that makes the horror work so much better than if that wasn't the case. (It also feels closer to how LIFE actually works a lot of the time.) So I find it somewhat odd to see when people do read desert into it, I feel like that weakens the storytelling.

Honestly, I hope that Jon learned something from her because, because I don’t expect I’m going to be coming back from this. I don’t know if I want to. And if he needs to pull the trigger, to use me to stop it… well, he’d better have the guts to do it.

Well. Fuck!

Gerard’s page… Gerry. I-I know there’s more he could tell me – he he, wouldn’t of, of course, I, I know that but he, he… he would still be there, th-that, that knowledge, i-it would, it would still exist…(...) …y-you owe me one, Gerry. Rest in … Just rest. - Jon

Damn, seeing Jon struggle against the instinct to keep knowledge available to himself, seeing how much it literally hurts him and seeing him WIN is sure something. Also ... "Rest in ... just rest." ... make me cry, why don't you?

My impression of this episode

This is not so much horror as it is concentrated emotion and I adore it. I nearly teared up a few times on my relisten (I think I wasn't in quite the right headspace during my first time). The gut punch quotes come thick in this one. This may actually be my favourite plot development episode (as opposed to favourite statements that don't relate directly to the overall plot). The writing is just. so. good.

[evermoreparker]

Last Words

A/n: Hey :) so this fic has been in my head for way too long, I plan on turning this into a series, so this is the first part of my next work. Reblogs are extremely appreciated!! 💖💖 Hope you enjoy reading this!!

Warnings: major character death, grief and I think that's it?

Word count: 1.4 k

Last words are overrated, it doesn't matter what someone said to you before they passed away, what really matters is their actions when they were alive. That's something you could never forget.

For Peter they were perfect, not the usual kind of last words people wanted to hear from their loved ones, but it was the last he heard your voice.

It's funny how we never know when our life is about to turn upside down, it's funny how it's so easy to believe in love when you are just a kid, but then you grow up, and it's like they've been feeding you up with lies the whole time. And it's funny how you two hadn't the slightest idea about how your lives were about to change the moment you sat next to a cute guy at the movies.

Having just broken up with your boyfriend, you find yourself wandering the streets of Manhattan in hope of anything that doesn't remind you of love, or your ex.

The universe has a way of putting two people in the right place at the right time, and that was what happened when you chose to watch a movie with zero love, a horror one, with gruesome details, that shit it's not for everyone, at least that was what you thought.

It was a boring monday afternoon, so it was normal that there were just four people watching the movie with you, but one of them caught your attention at first sight. The butterflies in your stomach were begging you to talk to him, but you convinced yourself that love wasn't for you, not for now, at least. That's one of those stupid things you say before meeting "the one", it's like the universe telling you: "ok, now that I know you can't handle more shitty relationships, here's this person that you've been looking for your whole life."

And honestly, it was worth it. You didn't have to talk to the cute guy looking as miserable as you were because he did that for you.

"Hey" he smiled. "Having a bad day?" And if he didn't have the sweetest eyes you've ever seen, (yea I'm quoting Your Song and what about it?) you would've punched him in the face, considering that every guy in NY has a lame pick up line that they read on facebook when they were thirteen. But the cute guy seemed genuinely concerned.

"Yea, just thinking that the world hates me" you shrugged while drinking the rest of your soda.

"I get that. Sorry though, mondays fucking suck" he giggled and you could've sworn it was the sweetest sound in the world. You'd give everything to hear that noise again.

After that Peter invited you for a drink, at 4 p.m, because, well, mondays did suck and getting drunk with a hot guy couldn't go wrong. Actually, it can. But that was not the case here, since we are talking about the best listener in the world and the most talkative person on a date, just like you.

Time goes on, and it's crazy how you never know when what's about to happen next in your life. And for you, it was his proposal, first time you found out you were pregnant, the second time you found out you were pregnant... But for Peter it was all that and having to deal with the pain of losing the love of his life.

When he got your voice-mail asking to pick up your daughter from school, he would've never guessed that that was the last time he would ever hear your voice.

"Hey babe, please pick up Anna from school today. Also, Ben needs to do the dishes like he promised me he would. Oh, and before I forget, I love you so much." He could see your smile saying those three words he loved so much. "And get your socks out of our bedroom floor, seriously Peter, you are lucky you are cute."

That was the sound he replayed more than his favorite song.

The day you died he was so angry at the universe for bringing him this amazing girl and taking her away from him way too fast. But he wasn't on his own anymore, he had the two best things you had given him, and they gave him the strength to carry on. No matter how many months went by, he would always go to a quiet place and talk to you, like he knew you were there, it’s like you were everywhere he knew you loved.

"Funny how you are usually the one doing all the talking, but now it's me" He tried to laugh through his tears while sitting on your favorite bench,(well, now his too), at entral park.

"Shit, I wish we could've done so much more together. Wish you could've changed the world, like you always wanted you. Wish that we could go on road-trips with Anna and Ben." Peter says as he looks up at the sky, just wishing he had just a little more time with you. Just one more smile, one more kiss and he would feel better. At least he thought so.

"I have no idea if I sound crazy talking to the wind, but for me it's like you are always here. I don't think I've told you about why I was at the movies when we met. And you didn’t ask, not even when we started dating, because you always respected my boundaries." Peter says while trying to dry his tears that keeps blurring his vision. "It was my uncle Ben's death anniversary and it was the worst date of every year for me. I hated myself for what happened. Yeah, yeah I know it wasn't my fault’’ He says like he knew what you were gonna say if you were there. You always showed and told Peter how amazing he is, and that’s ok not to carry the world on his shoulders. ‘’But anyway, I had to stop thinking about that, horror movies did the trick for me. And there you were" he smiled while looking at the horizon imagining you were there with him. "I saw your puffy eyes and I knew I wasn't the only one having a bad day, and as you said, 'It's not a bad life, it's just a bad day', pretty sure you stole that from Louis Tomlinson but that's okay. And I had that feeling when you are on a roller coaster and the drop is about to come, but I had no fear of falling. That's what you made me feel, that’s what you still make me feel, whenever the world was cruel to me, I had you. Yes, I stole that from Queen.’’

Peter laughs knowing that you’d have loved how he quoted your favorite song, but now it was his. Basically every single thing Peter had before being with you was now yours, including his heart. And you were his. Fuck ‘Til death do us part’. You both were sure that what you had, what you still have, wouldn’t be gone so easily. It was like you two were destined to be together, maybe you still are in another life.

‘’And I miss the way you would wake me up with kisses all over my face, unless we had a fight the night before." He laughs. "You looked so cute when you were angry, I just wanted to hug you and kiss you because, fuck, how did I get so fucking lucky? And eventually I did, it was impossible to get mad at you, I blame your puppy eyes for that. That was my thing, you know? But I would let you steal anything you want from me, because we were even, you had my heart and I had yours. That was all I could possibly need." Peter says while crying even harder. "I miss you so much. We all do. And you'll always be in my heart, you know that."

Peter picked the kids from school, and it was like you never left. There were little pieces of you in Ben and Anna. For example, the way Anna always fought for what she believed was right, or your beautiful eyes in Ben and the way he had your smile. He was not alone, and he knew he could always be with you in his dreams.

[likeshipsonthesea]

nurseydex things you said #2

thanks for the ask! from this list 2. things you said through your teeth

“Nursey.”

“Hmm, what?”

“Why are you in my bed?”

Nursey blinks heavily, slowly grasping at the consciousness Dex is so cruelly forcing on him. Whatever is under his cheek is firmer than a pillow, warm as any soft blanket, and rising and falling at an increasingly rapid pace.

Nursey’s eyes open fairly quickly then.

Dex stares at him, not-quite-anger in his eyes. His own panic seeps into Nursey and Nursey pushes himself up to a less lying-directly-on-top-of-Dex position.

“Why am I in your bed.”

Dex’s eye twitches. “I asked first.”

“I have a horrible memory when drunk, you know that.” Nursey chews on his bottom lip. Dex was drunk? Drunk enough not to remember what happened? Who the fuck was on Nursey Patrol? Fuck.

“I--I remember Shitty showing up with souped-up tub juice and then you wanted to recite poetry to the crickets and--that’s it.” And fuck fuck fuck the flicker in Dex’s voice is alarmingly close to fear and Nursey is so wholly and totally fucked.

He had sex with Dex. He had sex with Dex while they were both incredibly drunk and neither of them remembers it and holy fucking shit what if it wasn’t good, what if Nursey was so horrible that Dex has just repressed the whole thing, or even worse, what if Dex was so good that Nursey’s mind couldn’t handle it and just refused to record to spare his future spank bank material the indignity of losing for all time?

“Nursey.”

It takes a few tries of Nursey’s name to pull him out of the anxiety spiral he’s currently entertaining himself in. When he finally does listen, Dex is less scared than exasperated.

“Stop panicking,” he says. “Whatever happened, it will be fine.”

Nursey tries to internalize that. Even if I gave Dex the worst blowjob of his life, he just said it would be fine, so it’s fine. Anxiety brain says, Fine? We don’t know that word, and Nursey curses his fucked up brain chemistry several times before he realizes that they are both fully clothed, socks and everything.

“Dex.”

“Yes?”

“We didn’t have sex.”

Dex huffs. “What gave it away, your pants or the fact that we both were likely too drunk to even get it up?”

Nursey doesn’t even care about the teasing. They didn’t have sex!

“I’m so happy I could kiss you!” Nursey says, because it’s early and he just woke up and then promptly went through a very diverse and rickety roller coaster of emotions and his brain isn’t exactly monitoring the impulse-to-speech thing right now and holy fuck he just said he wants to kiss Dex. 

The backtracking department is apparently up and running, but some dumbass flipped the rambling switch.

“In a totally celebratory yay-we-didn’t-have-drunk-unremembered-sex kind of what, so like, totally just bros, you know, and like, I definitely wouldn’t kiss you without your consent ‘cause that would be hella unchill and, like, morning breath, you know, so that would be a really bad decision, almost like getting into bed with someone when you’re black out drunk and then telling the guy you want to kiss him the next morning and--”

Dex started blinking, rather dazed by all the words, at least halfway through Nursey’s explanation, but he thankfully shuts Nursey up before he make it any worse, even if Nursey would’ve preferred interference much earlier. “Nursey.”

Nursey shuts his mouth with a click.

Dex sighs. Nursey’s brain suddenly catches up with the fact that he is very close to Dex’s face. The soft purple smudges under his eyes are more prominent from this vantage point, his freckles starker, the lines left in his cheek from the pillow like cuts at Nursey’s obviously very fragile stability. Nursey’s brain then very acutely registers the very real and not at all celebratory desire to kiss Dex right now.

Dex starts to talk, which Nursey knows mostly because he’s staring at Dex’s mouth. “It is very early,” he says, “even for me. Now that we’ve settled whatever possible panic could come from this situation, I would like to go back to sleep. Okay?”

Nursey nods a little dumbly, eyes still caught on pink, plush, sleep-sticky lips.

Dex inhales and exhales, slow, and then nods again. “Okay.”

Nursey realizes that he’s going to have to get up now. He’s going to have to extricate himself from Dex’s arms-- side but very important fucking note, Dex’s arms are wrapped around him, what the fuck, how was that not the first thing he noticed -- and leave the warmth of this bed, crawl his way back up the stairs to his own room, and try to fall back asleep alone. The prospect is daunting and all together unwelcome.

Just as Nursey’s decided he’s built up the nerve to do it, Dex closes his eyes and relaxes back into the pillows, arms still very much encasing Nursey. If anything, his grip tightens. Nursey’s heart flutters, then screams, then passes out, and the one part of his brain that somehow has a normal balance of hormones or neurotransmitters or whatever rolls its eyes. Fuck off, Nursey thinks at that part of his brain. We’re allowed a little freak out over this.

It takes even more nerve than it would’ve to pull himself from Dex’s arms to settle into them. He rests his head on Dex’s chest again, careful not to put too much pressure. When Nursey settles into a comfortable spot, Dex signs, deep, and squeezes around Nursey’s waist once.

Nursey smothers his smile into Dex’s t-shirt. What a way to start the day.

[aerodaltonimperial]

Sit down, bitches, because we are going to talk about a show you should watch, and that show is Bad Buddy. And listen, I don't care if you don't speak Thai or you have never watched a BL drama before, LIFE IS FOR TRYING NEW THINGS amirite of course I'm right plus you can watch this shit subtitled for free on GMMTV's YouTube account there's no excuse LET ME TELL YOU WHY.

If you are new to the world of BL dramas they really run the gamut in terms of quality and while I am not an expert by any means I have watched a fairly decent variety of them from so bad I had to turn it off (TharnType) to legit great I will rewatch often (We Best Love) and most fall in between BUT NOT THIS ONE this one is fucking fantastic, 100000 gold stars, honestly did not expect but probably should have given how many people ended up reccing it. This drama is a roller coaster. It moves from absolutely bizarre zaniness to roundhouse kicking you in the fucking FACE and there were a number of times when an episode would end and I would be stuck staring at my black phone screen shell-shocked trying to figure out what just SHREDDED MY FUCKING INSIDES. BL dramas tend to fall into a number of tropes and that's sort of the first reason you need to watch this and that's because–

Number one, this drama is fully self-aware. Like, as in, they know exactly what they are and go hard with it??? They are tongue in cheek leaning into the fact that this is a BL and we all know it and we are going to laugh about it together DO YOU KNOW HOW RARE THAT IS one section of this went almost inception meta it was hilarious. The writers were like "Let's take every trope possible and put them all in here har har" and it's hilarious yet oddly delightful. AND YET there is one trope they refuse to use and–

Number two, there is no homophobia in this!!! GASP BUT KATY you say HOW CAN THIS BE A BL DRAMA WITHOUT HOMOPHOBIA shit son this is the year of our lord 2022 we just went through two years of a fucking pandemic AIN'T NO ONE GOT TIME FOR THAT SHIT ANYMORE. And the lack of internalized homophobia was so fucking refreshing it caught me off-guard I didn't even know how to deal WELCOME TO THE FUTURE??? And not only is there no homophobia, there is also BONUS WLW CONTENT with side characters and not just some bullshit throwaway lines for rep but actual legitimate WLW storyline with characters getting their own part of the plot WE LOVE TO SEE IT???? Shit son. 

Number three, ACTUAL GOOD REP. BL dramas are pretty famous for being written for a largely straight female audience and suffer greatly as a result in terms of ACTUAL QUEER REP but this was like FUCK ALL THAT and gave us EXPLICIT BI/PAN LEADS and honest conversations about sexuality and LISTEN WE STAN BI/PAN BL LEADS IN THIS HOUSE goddamn I'm in love. AND NOT ONLY THAT this drama took the absolute worst BL trope "I'm straight but I love you anyway", said it out loud, and then fucking harpooned it through the chest because it's bullshit and WE ALL KNOW IT'S BULLSHIT. These dramas tend to be pretty bland once romantic tension is lost BUT WAIT LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT IN THE NEXT POINT–

Number four, how. How did they build up this much fucking tension. How did they DO THAT it sneaks up on you and there are three things that made this possible which is a trifecta you RARELY see work this well in these dramas which is a good script, natural chemistry, and good acting, and I know this doesn't sound like we should be missing these but listen these are BL dramas they have one purpose and they tend to do the bare minimum with it BUT NOT THIS ONE and the script is number one here. I can't tell you how many times these dramas fizzle out after the leads get together and lose all individuality of characters in terms of weird awkward mushy stuff that feels super awkward and forced mostly because they usually give you ONE BIG SHOW OF INTIMACY and then nothing else but here we got??? Casual intimacy??? Characters that retained their personalities after??? This really was only possible with the leads having fun with it and genuinely liking each other and IT SHOWS. The script allowed them to be so fucking naturally intimate with each other it literally caused me pain inside what a ride ("was I good?" JESUS LET ME DIE SON) and also ep 5 lives rent free in my head forever now THANKS

NUMBER FIVE, the acting!!!! Nanon, one of the leads, is the BEST ACTOR I'VE EVER SEEN IN A BL DRAMA??? his delivery is so natural and so expressive and so believable fuck he out-acted half the god damn Avengers like what the FUCK bro. How???? Jesus I would watch him in anything he's FANTASTIC and so fucking likeable??? Wow. FLABBERGASTED let me tell you!!! And honestly that really just propelled this whole thing forward because a SHIT TON of his storyline is centered on–

Number six, THE FUCKING DEEP DIVE INTO GENERATIONAL TRAUMA INFLICTED BY PARENTS. Holy. shit. Like, you know it's there because it's a running undercurrent but this show is gonna make you forget for a little while while it goes absolutely batshit off the walls while you are like haha what am I even watching anymore and then when you do not see it coming it is going to PUT A GUN TO YOUR HEAD AND PULL THE TRIGGER AT POINT BLANK RANGE. Have fun with the FUCKING EMOTIONAL FALLOUT suckers!!!! WHAT THE FUCK. Like what?????? That was my HEART???? And you just DESTROYED IT??? shit. how. jesus.

Number seven, the other lead, Ohm, is very hot. The show knows he's hot. The actors know he is hot. The script knows he's hot. It's a running joke that he's hot. They're gonna give you a lot of shirtless scenes as a treat and at one point he is literally going to be pouring water on his own chest with a water bottle because WE ALL KNOW IT WORKS just enjoy it, we've had a shit couple of years, shhh.

Number eight is actually the worst part of the show and that's the absolutely horrible product placements required this is a Thai BL staple and there is honestly no way to not make them awkward and script-breaking but they really do their best to try and work them into things though at one point I legit think they just gave up LOL I FEEL YOU BRO those suck but if it means we keep getting shows online and subbed then fine we can suffer through those scenes.

NUMBER NINE, healthy supportive realistic sibling relationship. I swear it's a TV staple to have some dude with no siblings try to write realistic relationships and IT NEVER WORKS but this one completely did and it was SO REFRESHING as soon as one got dumpling forcibly shoved in their mouths I was like YES THAT'S SIBLINGS so A+++ would watch again I loved their scenes together

Look, at the end of the day, is this drama perfect no of course not it is absolutely ridiculous and I wish they had extended the will-they won't-they for longer because agony and pining keep me alive and nourished but is it great and does it deliver on some much-needed wholesome content to make you feel like maybe the world isn't on fire 24/7 YES YES IT DOES and we all just need more things to keep us from jettisoning ourselves off a fucking cliff you know

ANYWAY please watch this on GMMTV's YouTube so they get the hint that we want more shows like this and maybe they will throw us a bone and give us some extra after and pleaaaaaase because if we get more dramas with this level of depth and affection and writing and acting I will probably die a really happy person look I'll even give you the link to the first part because I'm a helpful person like that EP 1 PART 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4Hy7ZO_Np4

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

And he said, I hope you know how to swim

A/N: this is for the gift exchange from @itfandomprompts! My giftee is @iheartthoreau who asked for shy skinny dipping lovers and jealous Eddie. I’m sorry it’s out so late, I hope you enjoy it anyway! 

Summary:  The Derry midnight breeze is freezing, Eddie notes, still dressed in a shirt and pants and dreading having to get rid of them. He’s bare foot now, standing on top of the quarry and peering down into the glinting lake. Next to him, also bare foot, Richie looks over his shoulder, and laughs, bright and innocent. 

warnings: skinny dipping, mentioned of nudity (but nothing graphic)

read on a3o

The atmosphere of six best friends who’ve just moved past the worst stages in their life cackles in Eddie’s brain.

He’s buzzed up, energized beyond all logic by the laughter and loving gestures so carelessly tossed around in their group. Pennywise is dead, and with it the looming threat following each of them around and the teasing unhappiness hinting at what they were missing but not giving any clues as to what.

It’s all over now, and a road full of new opportunities lays ahead of them. Everyone is acting loose, ecstatic with the weight that fell off their shoulders. Eddie’s feeling a tad guilty too, for calling Myra and informing her that way about their upcoming divorce that he’s going to set in motion as soon as he’s had a good night sleep, but he felt so brave after surviving a literal killer clown, that he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

A part of him was also frightful that he’d lose his courage, between now and getting home, that he’d look around his house and accept that this was all he was destined for, a mediocre life with a wife he didn’t love and a job that sucked the joy out of all employees. Myra deserved better though, and that’s why Eddie’s guilty eyeing his phone, debating on calling her back. He won’t take back what he said, because he’s relieved to have put it out in the open, but he’s unsure if he should have been more empathetic towards her feelings in all of this. If he should have ended the call after telling her to take care.

Bev notices his wandering eyes from where she seated beside him on the couch, the woman still laughing a stitch, shifting forward and hiding his phone in between seat cushions. Out of sight out of mind so to speak.

‘We’ve got time to worry about it tomorrow Eddie.’ She says, and she’s right. Tomorrow both him and Bev will have to deal with the intricacies of divorce and separating a company and a home. Tonight is reserved for the losers only.

‘Yeah Eds, and here I was assuming that after twenty years we’d have some stuff to catch up on.’

Richie regards him from the floor, legs tossed up upon the couch with his body upside down. His glasses are sliding off, but he’s lazy to fix them, so he looks like even more of a goofball than normal. If Eddie could, if he didn’t feel like his intentions would be even more noticeable if he did, he’d scoot over to Richie, adjusting his glasses and letting his fingers trail his cheek and bask in the skin to skin contact.

‘You never did anything interesting before we went to college, what makes you think you’ve done something interesting after?’ Eddie’s tongue is sharp, a façade he builds to stop speculation about his feelings towards Richie, though the truth is that he is intrigued and he craves to know every small detail about his life outside of Derry.

‘No you guys are not starting this again. I’m sick of your bickering,’ Bill interjects, rolling his eyes at the pair.

‘I reject that big Bill, we’re hilarious, you can’t be sick of us bickering when you haven’t had the pleasure of hearing it for the last twenty years. Michael, back me up here buddy.’

‘Sorry Rich, I’m not getting involved in the slightest.’

‘Yeah guys come on, can’t we have one quiet night in?’

‘What so Eddie can just call me boring and I’m supposed to let it slide? Me? I’m the fireworks on the Fourth of July, the highest roller coaster in the park and the whipped cream on strawberries, but I am not boring.’ Richie changes positions, almost accidentally knocking over his beer bottle. He theatrically waves his arms back and forth, trying to animate his words and add conviction.

‘Okay, okay you’re not boring, but don’t overrate yourself either. The most adventurous thing you ever did in high school was skip a class to read a comic book in the school’s bathroom. Not exactly daredevil behavior.’

Bev sips from her whiskey, winking at Richie whose face turns beet red for a reason Eddie can’t decipher. It’s not until Bev conspicuously blows out a gust of air with her lips puckered that Eddie connects the dots.

‘Didn’t you say you ditched because you were smoking with Beverly? Dude did you fucking lie about that? I was worried you’d die and get cancer ever since that day you piece of shit.’

‘No I definitely did smoke. I swear.’

‘You’re not kidding anyone Rich, I vouched for you all those years ago, but I’m not doing it again. Little Richie was a comic book nerd who just pretended to be really cool. We never ever smoked together.’

The losers all holler, clapping their hands together and cheering on the exposure of their foulmouthed friend, debunking all the story Richie apparently made up where he and Be had to sneak out at night to smoke inconspicuously, with the exception of Eddie and Richie. Eddie, because he’s busy glaring at Richie and Richie because he’s busy tapping Bill’s hand away, teasingly disheveling his hair.

Eddie wishes he was brave enough to give these little affections to his friend, especially after witnessing how soothed Richie got when Eddie hugged him after Neibolt, when he had dropped his face into the nape of Eddie’s neck and stayed there, swaying on his feet of exhaustion. It would only make him a good friend, a best friend, but Eddie is still so damn afraid.

He might have had the power to separate from his wife and kill an abstract form of his deepest fears, but Bowers angry yelled words, such as fairy and faggot, swung to his head any time he and Richie graveted closer while walking, haunt him even now.

Touching is off limits the words tell him, so he shows affection the only way he’s ever known towards Richie, by bickering and pulling pigtails.

‘I should have expected that.’ Eddie nods vehemently, laughing as Richie’s mouth drops open in a shocked manner.

‘Are you kidding me? Eddie Spaghetti is the one telling me I’m a loser?’

Eddie flips him off, ignoring Mike’s whispered; ‘he’s got a point’, in favor of levitating his full attention on Richie. The giggling in the room elevates an octave higher.

‘You all laugh’, Richie addresses the entire group, ‘but was I not the one who came up with the idea for the list?’

Abruptly, all sounds snap off, as everyone is snapped back to the past. Even Richie is, at face value, confused about the word he spoke, until the concept and creation of the list is brought to the forefront of everyone’s mind.

‘Holy shit.’

‘Oh my god Mike please tell me you still have it.’

Mike shakes his head with a far-off look. ‘Sorry guys, I don’t know who had it last but I never found it again.’ He’s saddened by it, like he did them all an injustice by not holding on to a flimsy piece of paper.

The List, capital L, was nothing more but a checklist, composed with all the fun and dangerous things the losers all had hopes of doing after graduating high school. Eddie remembers now, the hushed laughter and uncompromisable joy that came with the simple idea of these things, how everyone pitched in and added dare after dare while him and Stan exchanged glances and hoped to god that some things would never be executed.

‘That’s okay Mike, I’m just happy we can all remember making it.’ Ben smiles reassuringly Mike’s way, who smiles back and takes a deep breath.

‘Wait, I think I can recall some of the things we wrote on there. Hold on’, Bev squeezes her eyes shut and snaps her finger in the hope it will get to her faster. ‘Oh’, she exclaims, startling Bill who chokes on his own saliva, ‘we were going to visit Europe, do a high rope parkour, rock climb and some other things I can’t remember right now.’

‘Didn’t we also agree to volunteer in a hospital and go camping in the national forest?’ Ben asks, awaiting confirmation.

‘Yeah we did, Stan was throwing a fit over going camping because of the environment and the dirt, but we were well on our way to convince him.’

‘Wow,’ Richie breathes, chest puffing up and head dropping back into the couch so his face isn’t visible to the rest. ‘I forgot all about that, but come to think of it, I’m pretty sure I did most of those things with Bryan.’

And who the fuck is Bryan? Certainly not Eddie, sweating in fear from the things that were being listed, searching for the most extreme dares he’d seen happen on tv to suggest, doing anything he could to impress Richie. Eddie was terrified of most of the activities on the list, like Bev’s idea to waterski in the ocean, or Mike’s zip lining idea, but he would have done them if it meant he could bask in Richie’s attention, impress Richie to rid himself of scared baby Eddie was so sure he must have been in Richie’s eyes. So who the hell was this Bryan stealing his thunder like that?

‘Who’s Bryan?’ Bev inquires with a smirk, winking at Richie blush ridden face. Eddie’s jealousy rears its ugly head, flaring up and making his head woozy. He simultaneously both considers choking Bev and thanking her for the question.

With Richie’s secret fresh on his mind, the way he’d so shamefully admitted that he was gay and they were the first people he’d ever found the courage to tell, Eddie wondered if Bryan was perhaps someone Richie had been romantically involved with.

Richie would have deserved it, Eddie argues in his mind, to at least for a short period of time have someone love him back as fiercely as he dons it out, but Eddie’s also furious that he stole Richie out from under his nose.

Which is illogical, because even if he and Richie had managed to stay in touch, and Eddie confessed – not much chance there, as Eddie didn’t even tell anyone he was gay when Richie did - there was no guaranty that Richie would’ve reciprocated.

‘No one snoopy’, Richie argues with a jittery leg, ’just some guy I hung out with for a while.’

Bev appears unconvinced, but she’s also respectful towards Richie's decision to not say anything. ‘So which ones did you complete?’

‘I went to Europa senior year of college, smoked a bunch of weed, went zip lining. The normal kind of stuff.’

Zip-lining, or smoking weed for that matter, causes Eddie skin to crawl, not that he’d ever admit it. He hates that that’s not the case for Bryan.

‘Well thanks Rich, none of us ever did anything on the list without the other losers. I guess you didn’t miss us too much.’ It’s not fair, of course it’s not. He can tell by the eagerness to spend time together that Richie was very lonely, and experienced the same aching emptiness where his friends were supposed to be as the rest of them.

The bitter tone of Eddie's speech, and the way Richie’s eyes turn a little dimmer extinguishes the fire of Eddie’s envy. Richie deserves better than him in every way. An apology lies at the tip of his tongue, ready to jump into the open and hopefully aid the wounds before they’re fully developed.

Sensing the impending hurricane of trouble on the horizon Mike is eager to intervene, playing mediator for two forces that are about to collide. ‘Well I mean, we probably wouldn’t have gone through with most of them anyway.’

‘Speak for yourself’, Eddie waves him off, spiteful that Mike has a good point. He would have found a way to undermine their plans and make it so that he could back out without appearing like a meek lamb, for at least half of the activities. If he had known about Bryan’s existence though, he would have done anything. He feels ready now to do anything, to one up him and establish his spot as Richie’s number one.

‘Prove it,’ Bill dares with a lopsided smirk, certain he’s got Eddie beat. He sustains eye contact, reaching for the bag of chips on the table and gnawing on it with the most smug aura Eddie has ever witnessed him having.

‘I would’, Eddie defends fiercely, ‘but we can’t do any of the things in Derry.’

‘Sounds like a cop out to me.’

‘Yeah, sure Big Bill, because you can easily find a zip line here in Derry. The town that refused to spend money on renewing the library back in the eighties is no doubt going to have that installed by now.’

‘What about skinny dipping?’ Ben proposes innocently, having no idea the kind of strain he’s putting Eddie under.

‘That’s a great idea Ben, I forgot we put that one on the list.’ Beverly acknowledges despite Eddie’s frantic head shaking. The room temperature drops down and rises back up steadily, at least according to Eddie. He’s starting to sweat, something he never does and takes pride in – in the office he’s the level headed one, and that’s saying something – and he pulls at his collar to allow some air to ventilate.  

Everything except that. A swim in a dirty lake that was most likely infected was a whole plate of different bacteria, and being naked in front of the man he’s in love with is not something Eddie is particularly fond of. He almost asks for a different thing to do, but that would truly be a cop out, and he both refuses to back down in front of Richie and give Bill the satisfaction of being right.

‘Good luck with that Eds, question before this all goes down, am I allowed to use this in my next bit?’

‘Actually,’ Bev interrupts, ‘I think you should join him too.’

‘Hey I wasn’t the one that said I’d be willing to do anything.’

‘No, but you were the one who added it on the list in the first place. C’mon Richie, It’ll be fun. For us, not for you guys, but we’ll get a good laugh out of it.’

Richie is hesitant, same as Eddie, readjusting his glasses again. Eddie is sure that if he says the word Richie will tell everyone to back down for him. He wouldn’t even make fun of Eddie for it, should Eddie give any indication that he wouldn’t want him too. He thinks back to Bryan, and how he wouldn’t have backed down for such a thing, and how in awe Richie must have been seeing the man abandon all safety precaution and go for it, Eddie’s mind is made up instantly.

‘Let’s do it.’ He says without leaving room for argument, nodding at Richie as he looks to him. He hopes Richie will go with it, but is also confident that of course he will. As kids they followed each other everywhere, and surely that hasn’t changed.

‘Really? I mean yeah – sure I guess. Bring it on.’

-----

The Derry midnight breeze is freezing, Eddie notes, still dressed in a shirt and pants and dreading having to get rid of them. He’s barefoot now, standing on top of the quarry and peering down into the glinting lake. Eddie’s jumping from one foot to the other, annoyed that dirt is clinging to his skin and branches are piercing his soles, even more aggravated at the idea of cleaning them in infection filled lake water. Bev better keep her end of the promise, and be waiting near the end of the lake with a pair of fresh pressed towels.

Next to him, also bare foot, Richie looks over his shoulder, and laughs, bright and innocent.

‘I forgot how high this was.’

It is high up, but they’ve done this jump at least a hundred times before, so Eddie’s not worried about the plunge. He’d assume Richie isn’t either, but the man keeps glances towards the path they took to get up here, uncharacteristically silent.

‘It’s okay if you're too scared to go through with it Eduardo, I won’t tell the others.’ Richie smirks when he notices Eddie’s glance, crossing his arms over his chest.

The movement makes his shoulders bulk, highlighting just how much bigger Richie is compared to Eddie. Eddie’s mouth waters, and he starts to worry about how he’s going to have to get through seeing Richie’s naked shoulders in the flesh.

‘Just get undressed will you? Hurry up.’

‘Why? Eager to see my bare ass?’

‘Yeah, because who doesn’t think jumping naked into a lake they frequented as kids is the epitome of sexiness? No you self-centered idiot, I want to get it over with so I can go back to the Inn and grab a warm shower.’

With one last peek, Eddie moves backwards, standing away from the ledge and begins to unbutton his shirt, before thinking better off it. Richie picks up on his hesitation, shifting backwards too and motioning his head towards the ridge.

‘Do you want me to show you how it’s done?’

‘No,’ Eddie objects, ‘I’ll go first.’

‘Why? I’m not going to stare at your junk while you're jumping in if that’s what you're worried about Eddie. I’m not that kind of gay.’ Rarely does Richie toss aside an opportunity to grant Eddie another humorous nickname, so the use of his real name spooks Eddie just enough that he opens his mouth to apologize without even realizing what he’s apologizing for.

Richie’s facial expression, set in a grimace and squinting his eyes defensively, are a dead give away that Eddie’s words are being taken the wrong way. If only Richie knew that Eddie wanted him to go in first so he could avoid the same temptation Richie thought he was forcing on him.

‘Richie no, that’s not what I meant I-.’ Heartfelt compliments are not something Eddie has had a lot of practice for these last few years, and he’s not doing a good job catching up on them either. Therefore he sighs and hopes that he can find another way to prove to Richie he’d never accuse him of something like that. ‘Whatever, just go first already.’

‘Fine but turn around okay?’

Eddie listens to him, back towards Richie and the jump off, though he doesn’t really understand the request. With Richie comes a lot of flair, and he was more or less been prepared for a joke about how Eddie got to confirm how big his dick is in reality.

He waits and listens carefully for the sounds of clothes being dropped on the ground, and he can’t stop his mind from secretly imagining how Richie looks like without them once he distinguishes it.  Eddie shakes his head, scolding his own mind.

The next few moments are filled with raspy breaths originating from Richie, footstep sounding further away and then closer again in an erratic pattern. He must be scared of the jump. Under normal circumstances, Eddie would ask to jump in at the same time, but since Richie asked Eddie not to turn around, he won’t.

‘If you don’t jump in the next five minutes,’ Eddie teases, the way Richie used to tease him, ‘I’ll push you in.’ A second later Eddie hears Richie’s loud whooping as he plunges down into the dark water.

Eddie spins, the only thing greeting him the dark with very little light clearing up his path, from the moon. He’s having a hard time to even see where the cliff ends, and he can’t disguise Richie in the water at all.

‘I’m coming in’, he yells to the void, in case Richie can’t discern his body in time and needs to move out of the way. He takes off his clothes, goosebumps erupting on his skin, and folds his pants and t-shirt up neatly, touching the ground with his hands to find a dry spot to lay them on. The air is cold, and so Eddie refuses to linger on top any longer than he has to.

He jogs up to the ledge and darts off before his mind can conjure up the thousands of things that can go wrong from swimming in the dark this late at night. His body flies through the air and connects with the water in one swoop, a pit of glee bursting in Eddie’s stomach. Jumping from the quarry equals freedom, a hot summer day and love for all of his friends, but in particular Richie.

Eddie keeps his head underwater until his lungs burn, eyes closed and allowing himself to just feel all the sensations. Then, something tickles the back of his leg, and the peaceful moment is over. He kicks back the surface, away from the spot where he could swear something touched him, and searches around for Richie.

Richie, with his wet black hair clinging to his forehead, strands of it sticking out in every direction, and his droplet covered glasses, roving more of Eddie’s heart each minute they’re near each other. He’s never looked more beautiful, and Eddie has never had to fight the urge to kiss him as much as he does now.

‘See, I told you I wouldn’t stare Eds, I can’t even see anything with all these splatters on my glasses.’

The moon reflects on the water, so that it’s impenetrable, and neither Rich nor Eddie can look down and see their lower body parts.

What Eddie can see is enough anyway, Richie’s shoulders and part of his chest hold Eddie’s attention, and he forgets to respond to Richie’s comment.

His eyes land on a dark bruise, just on the bottom of Richie’s neck, a remnant of their fight with Pennywise earlier that day. Without thinking, without standing still on the consequences of such an action, Eddie swims closer, stretches his arm out, and lingers his fingertips over the bruise. He carefully positions his body to not touch any other body part of Richie’s except for his fingers on his neck.

He makes an inquisitive noise, thumb stroking over the injury in what he hopes to be a calming matter. He physically can’t pull away, entranced with the way he moves and responds to him, trying but failing to get his fill of Richie clenched.

‘Eddie’, Richie whispers, scared to break the silence and the intimate moment. ‘It’ll be fine. And hey, at least he didn’t do anything to my dick.’

‘Yeah, would have been a shame if it were to become even smaller.’

Richie snorts, retaliating the jest with a wave of dirty water aimed at Eddie.

Eddie gasps, spitting out a bit of water that managed to sneak into his mouth. ‘Oh you’re on.’

The two of them chase each other, and if it weren’t for the fact that they were both naked, Eddie would have thrown his entire body weight in the game to push Richie underwater. As it stands, they just splash back and forth until they’re exhausted and the remnants of their laughter dies out, barely enough energy left to stay afloat side by side.

‘Did you have this much fun with Bryan?’ Eddie asks, a bit envious. He hates how he’s still stuck on the Bryan thing, hates that his mind keeps popping images of them doing the exact same thing only to end it with a kiss.

‘What?’

‘With Bryan, the guy you did all that other stuff with?’

‘Oh no, me and Bryan – we were never together like that.’ Back at the hotel room, Eddie figured that that was a ploy to distract Bev, something Richie just said because he couldn’t comfortably admit the real intent of their relationship. But he’s never lied to Eddie, and his eyes, magnified by his glasses, seem so sincere, Eddie has no other option but to believe him. ‘I-I’m- some other guy already has that place all taken up.’

Eddie stupid, oblivious and dense and everything in between. He knows Richie isn’t talking about him, he knows he could never be the guy Richie would hold all hope out for – he also secretly hopes it’s none of the losers -, but he wants to be so bad. Just one time, just one kiss and he’d be sated enough to let go of his feral behavior towards any potential love interest Richie might have. Just one time.

‘Richie’, Eddie starts, biting his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. He’s taking a huge risk, by foreseeing a rejection but hoping that Richie won’t drop him as a friend because of this. If Eddie doesn’t do this, he’ll never stop wondering what it feels for their lips to meet. He’ll never get over Richie because he never got to experience any with him.

‘Can I kiss you?’ He risks releasing his lip.

Richie is visibly shocked. ‘What? What the fuck? Eddie is this a joke?’

The joke is, as usual, all on Eddie who regrets ever opening his mouth in the first place. He could try to laugh it off, say that it was a joke, but that would mean that he pretends to make a jest out of something Richie has struggled with for his entire life. He’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. Left with no other options but to further dig his own grave, Eddie decides to be honest. At least that means he gets to keep part of his integrity.

‘No Richie of course not, I wouldn’t do that to you. I’m sorry. Look I like you but it’s obviously one sided and I just wanted to know what it felt like to kiss you but it was a stupid request and I shouldn’t have asked you that. Oh god, I never even asked if you were dating someone –‘

‘Eds?’

‘- Fuck can we please forget I said anything so we can still hang out?’

‘Eddie?’

‘What?’

‘Yes. Please kiss me.’

Eddie gapes with his mouth open, struggling for breath and for words. He’s half convinced he misinterpreted  the words, but his tilted head proves otherwise. Eddie doesn’t question it further, counting his lucky start for once, and leaning in to his emotions and Richie, breaching the water to get to him.

Their kiss is surprisingly gentle for the ungovernable lead up prior to it. Richie’s lips taste like lake water, but deeper underneath lies a tang of something distinctively Richie. Eddie can’t wait to devour him whole once he’s cleaned up. Their lips move together in tandem, a perfect harmony that for once neither are willing to break.

They pull back, Richie’s arms circling Eddie’s waist, and he smiles. His smile mixed with the love stricken gleam in his eyes, mysteriously tells Eddie that Richie feels the exact same way he does. His chest caves with happiness.  

‘I like you too, if it wasn’t obvious. A lot more than Bryan.’

‘For the love of God can we never mention that again? It’s embarrassing. No, Hush’, Eddie says urgently, covering Richie’s mouth with his palm when he opens his mouth to conjure up another joke.

‘Fine,’ Richie says while pulling away from Eddie’s hand. ‘How about we talk about something else then? How the fuck are we supposed to get to our clothes?’

[nakedmossy]

Depth Over Distance - Part Nine  [Rudy x Reader]

[A/N: Alright. So I know the last part was tough and I wont lie and say its all sunshine and roses from here, but I hope this part gives you a little bit of a breather. Enjoy it while it lasts.... Peace and love, Mossy x] 

You resurfaced.

Open your eyes. Ouch. Okay you’re not blind so that’s good.

Blood on your head, dried, you could smell burning plastic and raw metal and gas. It was dark out. Your body screamed at you in pain.

You moved, slowly, dear god it hurt to move.

Your hand to your forehead, dried blood. Your fingers, your toes, everything moving? Good. Okay next…legs. Can you move them? They hurt. But they’re moving. Arms? Obviously, you were lifting them to touch things. Are you breathing normal? No…there is definitely something wrong with your breathing. Or are you just panicking? Calm down. Control you’re breathing or everything goes.

Alright. Good. Next.

Straighten your back…yep. Okay, slowly now. Don’t move too fast. Where are you? You’re on the road. Right…okay but are you? Too dark to see…angle of the car is wrong but you’re not upside down. Try the handle. Okay that worked…the door is ajar already? Odd. Where is your phone? You’re so dizzy. Okay breathing…slow down slow down slow down. Calm. Relax. You’re okay.

Just…find your phone. Don’t cut your hands on the glass. Airbag is deflated and in the way. This is too difficult. Okay. Climb out first, take a deep breath. Then find your phone.

You climbed out of the car, slowly, using the dented frame of the door to pull and the seat to push. You were so dizzy that even moving as slow as you were you felt like you were on a roller coaster. This was bad. You groaned and held your breath until you were standing on your feet and took a shaky step away from the car, your hand moving to your forehead, feeling wet blood as your head started to pound. Shit.

You stood still for a few moments, focusing on your breathing and calming your nerves, tuning yourself to your surroundings. How far had you driven? Had you hit something? What happened?

Confused, you opened your eyes and looked around, feeling blood dripping down the side of your face. It was pitch black out, but one of your headlights was still on, allowing enough light to show you that you had spun 180 and hit the ditch. Okay, for sure the car was wrecked, but it wasn’t actually that bad. You let out a sigh and felt a pang in your side, flinching. You needed to find your phone, you needed to call for help.

As you walked slowly around the passenger side you realized it had stopped raining, but a fog had settled into the valley around the trees making it impossible to tell what part of the road you were actually on. You tried to think…you had probably driven 30-40 minutes before you crashed. You were closer to the cell tower than you were the cabin. You needed to find your phone, get to the clearing, and call someone.

Why were you shaking? God it was cold out.

Your mouth started to chatter uncontrollably and you felt yourself shiver from the wet cold air. You needed to hurry up. You cried out in pain as you tried to open the passenger door but couldn’t, your rib screaming in protest. Of course you couldn’t open it, the handle was broken. Idiot.

You hobbled back to the driver’s side and crawled slowly back into your seat, watching the broken glass from the windshield and careful not to slip onto it. You moved your hand slowly along the side of the seat and on the floor, finally feeling it nestled near the emergency break. You grabbed it and sat back in your seat, a shaky breath escaping your lips. Thank god. Thank god thank god.

You illuminated the screen and felt your stomach drop. It was 9:34 pm and the battery was at 6%. Alright. Time to get moving.

As you walked towards the road you realized how painful it was to move this much. You clenched your jaw and pressed your lips shut as you pushed forward along the side of the dark dirt road, the parts illuminated by your broken headlight were fading. As you felt tears well up in your eyes you looked up at the sky, the moon full overhead, and let yourself cry quietly, your lip quivering.

It was pain, shock, and adrenaline that was making this difficult but it was the same three things that kept pushing you forward.

Your Vans drug along the road loudly, rocks and dirt kicked up behind you as you left a trail of footprints leading away from the car. You wiped some of the blood and tears from your face and felt sounds escape you as you struggled to walk in a straight line and stay on the road in the dark. You heard something rustle in the tree line beside the road and a chill travelled up your spine, you had to keep moving.

After a long hour of blindly walking down the road trying to ignore how stiff your neck was and how much your ribs hurt you felt your phone buzz in your hand and your heart skip a beat. Service. You stopped walking and lifted your phone up, your hands shaking, as you saw the bars appear. Your breathing was rapid and your body started to shake again, you were almost unable to unlock it. 1% battery.

“Fuck” You cried through the line of spit that formed on your lips as your eyes filled with tears again. 

You were losing it. Calm down. Your hands wouldn’t stop shaking, no matter how hard you tried. You opened the phone app and began to dial the only number you could coherently remember, swearing in panic and frustration as your fingers dialed wrong digit after wrong digit. The red glow of the battery in the top corner was mocking you, you felt your mind spiraling. A drop of blood fell from your forehead onto the glass of the screen, you finally got the number correct and hit the green dial button.

You lifted it shakily to your ear and held your breath as you heard it connect, the first ring, the second ring, and then you heard his voice.

“Hey, you’ve reached Rudy’s phone, don’t leave a message unless it’s good news.” Beep.

You stuttered, panic overcoming you as you realized you had wasted the only call your battery would allow on a voicemail. Your broken breath was the only thing coming out. You forced out a sound, which was the start of a hysterical cry, and said his name.

“Rudy” You whispered into your phone, your hope dissolving around you rapidly. “Please- hiccup ­��help me….I, -hiccup- in an accident… my head is-”

You saw the screen darken from your peripherals as the battery died. You pulled it away from your ear and squeezed it so hard your whole arm shook violently as a sob that turned into a scream tore itself out of your throat. You sank to your knees, staring at the black screen, feeling an overwhelming dizziness pass through you. You needed to….you just needed to….rest. You felt your phone slip from your hands as you hit the ground.

 --

 “Miss? Can you hear me?” Someone shook your shoulders gently.

You tried to open your eyes but they were sore, your head was sore, everything was sore. You managed to open one, slowly, daylight blinding you. A shape hovered over you, large.

“Don’t move, alright?” The voice spoke again. You wanted to say something but you couldn’t. You felt arms under your back and legs, and then you were moving. Someone was lifting you. This never ending week kept getting weirder.

“It’s alright, we’re just going to my truck. Can you feel your legs?” You managed to nod your head as your eyes started to open, realizing what was happening.

You tried to speak again, your lips stuck together, the skin peeling apart painfully.

“Where am I” You managed, your voice thick and gravelly.

“It’s alright, I think you were in a bit of an accident.” The man said again, then stopped talking as you heard a door open. He carefully placed you in a seat and backed up a step as you opened your eyes, lifting a hand to your forehead. “Do you remember what happened?” He asked.

You cleared your throat painfully and blinked a few times, pivoting your head slightly to look at him. He was tall, and large…bearded, graying hair. Maybe 60? Your chest rose and fell slowly as you tried to even out your breath. You nodded your head and swallowed.

“I crashed” You said quietly. The man let out a single chuckle and crossed his arms.

“I gathered that much. Found your car down the road. How long you been out here?”

“I don’t know…what time is it?”

“8 am, give or take…pretty nasty bump on your head there. Where on earth were ya going?” He asked, almost amused, but slightly concerned.

“Cellphone…um, the tower.” You looked around, there was a giant satellite radio attached to his dashboard and you noticed he was wearing a beige uniform. “Who are you?”

The man smiled, he had a kind albeit aged and rough looking face.

“Peter” He said nodding at you. “I’m with USDA. I was doing my rounds of the gates when I found you. We’ve had some problems with the hunters leaving them open round here lately. Don’t suppose that’s what you were doing though.” He let out a small grumbling laugh.

“Hmm” You breathed out, trying to laugh, but just making a grunting noise. “Can I use your phone?” You looked at him and waited, your head moving around like your neck had lost all the muscle to support it.

“I radioed the tow company a few minutes ago, but I only got that radio right there on the dash, which I doubt will be too much use to you. I can take you down to the gas station at the railroad check point, they should have a phone you can use.”

You thought for a moment and closed your eyes, starting to feel nausea as your body woke up from the shock and your breathing slowed.

“Actually…would you mind just taking me home? I’m just in a cabin down the road...”

The man watched you carefully, his arms still crossed, his forehead pinched.

“You sure? I think you should probably get that checked out.” He nodded at your head wound. You hadn’t even seen yourself yet. You nodded anyways. “Alright then” He said, closing your door gently and rounding the front of his truck to climb into the driver seat.

As he put the truck in gear you felt yourself drifting off, the darkness washing around you again.

“You alright?” You heard Peter say, but his voice was a thousand miles away.

--

When you woke up, it was to the sound of the truck door opening and mixed voices talking quickly, metal creaking, someone reaching across you to undo your seat belt. You slowly blinked your eyes open and squinted to try and focus, you could see a woman with a blue shirt on, and a man behind her also with a blue shirt on.

“Hey honey” The woman said slowly. “Can you hear me?”

You nodded, groaning as a shot of pain went through your head.

“Alright, easy now. You’re at the hospital, we’re going to help you down onto this stretcher here and then were gonna bring you inside with us and take a look at that bump on your head okay?” You couldn’t really talk or nod or be useful to communicate in any way so you simply tried smiling at her. “Alright good, you’re doing great. Here you come” You felt multiple arms and hands and bodies around you, then you were laying on a stretcher. This was a weird day.

They wheeled you inside, you pinched your eyes closed as the fluorescent lights flashed above you. Your head was so, so sore.

“Y/N? HEY, get off me. I know her, I’m her…wait, stop. Y/N!” The voice shouted. 

Were you dreaming?

“Rudy?” You said in a low hazy voice, trying to open your eyes and move. A heavy hand pressed your shoulder down firmly into the stretcher as you kept moving down the hall.

You didn’t hear the voice again so you knew you had made it up. Your head injury must be worse than you thought.

After a few hours of X-Rays and scans and injections of blessed, sweet pain killers and wheeling from one section of the hospital to the next, they helped you up from the stretcher and bandaged the wound on your forehead. It had been worse than you thought, a large gaping cut that stretched from the middle of your eyebrows and down your cheek, and both your eyes were bruised, small glass cuts littered the skin on your face and neck, arms and hands. Thankfully no internal issues or trauma, nothing really aside from surface damage.

You sat, finally coherent and hydrated and clean, waiting for the discharge nurse. As she came in with the clipboard, she didn’t close the curtain behind her.

“Did you get a hold of my parents?” You asked, your voice tired and gravelly and weak.

“Your brother did, he’s here to pick you up.” She smiled, reviewing your chart.

You looked at her for a moment, expressionless, then cocked your head to the side and began to say that you didn’t have a brother, but the words died in the air when you saw his blonde hair appear from around the curtain.

You felt a shutter rock through you as the oxygen was sucked out of the room, Rudy’s concerned face breaking when he saw you. He moved briskly past the nurse and in one swift motion enclosed you in the most gentle bone crushing hug he was capable of in that moment. Neither of you spoke or moved or did anything but breathed shakily into each other’s necks.

“You’re here” You said without air, unbelieving.

Rudy didn’t answer, he just nodded, unrelenting in his hug. He moved his face out of the crook of your neck and placed his cheek against the side of your head, inhaling the scent of your hair and trembling.

“I’ll give you a moment” The nurse said as she slipped out of the room and pulled the curtain closed behind her.

You felt like you were going to hyperventilate, your chest was rising and falling so rapidly. Rudy pulled back enough to examine your face, his hands cradling the un-bruised parts of your cheeks.

“You’re here. I can’t believe you’re here. How did you know where I was?” Your voice was scarce and your throat constricted painfully.

“Your voicemail” He said quickly, his heart beating rapidly and his hands shaking. “I um…..I started driving as soon as I got it.”

“Yeah but I didn’t say where I was…my phone died.”

“I knew” He shrugged a shoulder as he bit his top lip, a shaky breath exhaling quickly, sounds coming out of his throat that resembled squeaks and groans. “I went to the cabin and when you weren’t there I started driving around, I found your car. I thought you were…” A shiver passed through him. “Y/N, I…was it, it wasn’t…”

You felt a pain deep in your gut at that moment as you understood what he was trying to ask. You could see the fear and the guilt and the anguish clear in his eyes. He thought you had crashed on purpose.

“No, no god no. It wasn’t like that. I swear.”

“Then what were you doing?” His voice cracked, and you felt something shift in your stomach.

“I was…going to the cell tower to call you.” Your voice cracked as you flashed back to the accident and the memory shook through you. “I was gonna call you and apologize. I-”

Rudy pulled you into a deep hug then, you heard a cry hiccup out of him. It broke you to hear the sound. Mixed with the exhaustion and the pain, you felt yourself collapse into him completely. He immediately braced you both and supported you, his hand cradling the back of your head.

“I’m sorry” He said quietly. You shook your head against him, the bandage catching on the fabric of his shirt.

“Can you take me home” You asked in a muted voice. He nodded and pulled away, placing a kiss on the other side of your forehead and grasping your hand, leading you through the curtain and into the waiting room where the nurse stood at the discharge desk, scribbling on the clipboard.

You both signed the forms and thanked her, then Rudy led you out of the hospital and to his black truck that was parked crooked across two spots. He helped you up into the truck and leaned across you to buckle your seat belt, adjusting the strap to not rest too close to your neck, which also had a small bandage from a glass cut.

The hour long drive to the turn off for your cabin was virtually silent, but it was okay. Rudy held your hand the entire time, almost painfully tight, and let you rest, occasionally you would drift off and wake up that much closer. You didn’t have to worry, he knew this drive like the back of his hand too.

When you arrived at the cabin, Rudy put the truck in park and sat quietly for a few seconds before letting your hand go and climbing out to come around and help you down from your seat. He guided you inside, sat you down on the couch and wrapped a blanket around you, picked up your discarded towel from the floor and started a fire. He boiled water for your tea, gave you the handful of Tylenol that the nurse had sent you home with, and grabbed you a change of clothes.

You watched him move around the cabin silently with purpose, his presence deeply comforting. Neither of you spoke, but you felt what he was feeling.

Things were fucked up. His life was in shambles, your life was a mess, and you had unwittingly dragged each other into the middle of all of it. It was like you were standing in the eye of the storm together, chaos ensuing around you, but complete silence was your greatest comfort. It had started to rain outside, the light patter on the roof the only thing reminding you that there was a world outside these four walls. 

Rudy paced around the kitchen, his arm muscles flexing as he moved things around on the shelves and put things away, lighting candles as it got darker from the rain clouds, keeping himself busy, avoiding the conversation neither of you wanted to have.

You weren’t entirely certain what happened in the next moments, or what motivated you to move, or what was driving you forward. Maybe it was the quiet sound of the rain, or the smell of the wet earth outside and the light rush of the creek. Maybe it was the low light outside the cabin windows and the comfort of the single fire roaring in front of you. Maybe it was the knowledge that in this moment, you didn’t care about all the craziness that had gotten you both alone inside this cabin, just being here right now was good enough for you. Maybe it was the concussion.

But you knew tomorrow would come, you knew time would keep going, you knew that moments like these were fleeting. You didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but you did know that the burning in your gut wouldn’t go away, the way your heart beat faster when you heard his voice wouldn’t subside, the way you were standing up right now with no ability to stop yourself was beyond your control.

Rudy looked over at you from the kitchen, locking eyes with you, his jaw flexing.

You stood still, watching him, and took a step back, closer to the fire. The sensation of the heat on your legs matched that in your chest and heart and eyes. Nothing else mattered in that moment but protecting the cocoon you were creating for each other.

Your fingers drifted to the seam of your shirt, your eyes never leaving his, and you began to pull it up, exposing your stomach, lifting it over your head carefully, minding the wounds. You had nothing on underneath, you hadn’t thought to put a bra on when you had rushed out the door yesterday.

Rudy’s eyes fell from yours down your body and his hand faltered on the kitchen counter, his breathing staggered. When your eyes met again, you could see the hunger reflected in them. You slid your pants down, watching him, and kicked them to the side. Standing there, naked, you felt yourself breathing slowly and deeply, unsure what to do next. 

Without hesitation Rudy lifted his shirt over his head in one swift motion and walked towards you, closing the gap in seconds. He stopped briefly, his muscles tense, watching you fiercely, before his shoulders dropped and he let the breath he had been holding out. He wrapped himself around you then, his mouth gentle but firm on your own, and slowly began to lower you both onto the blanket you had dropped on the floor in front of the fire.

You had thought about this moment a hundred times before, but it was better than you could have had the imagination to concoct. He had laid you down gently on the blanket, careful not to hurt you, and brushed small kisses along your chest and down your abdomen. When he pulled your underwear off you thought you were going to black out, your head was throbbing but you hardly noticed.

He waited for you to catch your breath before going further, and when he was inside you, you felt like the world had stopped on its axis. 

Surely this was it, surely the Earth was dodging sudden death at every turn, flying through a mine field of comets and ambling dangerously close to self-destruction. Surely there was no life outside of this moment, outside of this second. 

You moved against each other, with each other, in and through each other. You followed his lead, unable to bring yourself out of the head space of sheer ecstasy, your hands surveying his body like you had never felt another human before. He had started slowly, gently, but grew hungrier, clearly losing his ability to control himself. 

You felt the pressure building up and squeezed your eyes shut, opening your mouth to grasp at any amount of oxygen you could find. Rudy’s hand came up from your hip to cup your face, his voice anxious when he said your name. You breathlessly encouraged him that you were fine, im fine im fine, until he believed you enough to embrace it. You couldn’t get close enough, couldn’t express enough, couldn’t breathe fast enough, and couldn’t process anything at all.

You felt your eyes roll back, your arms and legs twitch, your back arch. The pressure released and you exploded into a million tiny chaotic pieces, no longer a part of this earthly plane, no longer worried about the planet spinning off its axis, nothing mattered, he kept going. The only thing that pulled you back to the floor of your cabin was the sudden warm wet feeling inside you, the way Rudy’s body pulsed into yours slowly as he finished, and the sound he made before he collapsed on top of you.

____________________________________________

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[moonlit-imagines]

Liquor, Babey

Richie Tozier x reader

warnings: alcohol

a/n: i just like the idea of richie in his late teens/early 20’s being a fuckin drunk idiot

prompt: richie partied to hard and now y/n has to care for a dope

“Hey, uh, where’s Richie..?” You stopped in your tracks and Eddie went wide-eyed.

“Holy shit, we lost him!” He shouted over the noise of the party and dragged his hands down his face in panic. You pried Eddie’s hands away from is eyes and took a quick scan around the rampant, crowded room.

“He couldn’t have gone far, Eds. I mean, he’s definitely still here. You know how hard it is to get him away from booze.” You shrugged with confidence and felt an arm touching your shoulder.

“Come with me,” Beverly instructed close to your ear, “you guys don’t wanna miss this.” You peered over at Eddie, who went pale in the face as he was led through the crowd. Before you were even in eyeshot of the karaoke station, you heard tapping on the microphone and a loud “ahem.” And then cue the music.

“Baby, can’t you see,” the voice echoed through the speakers and you finally made it to the front to see Richie holding the mic, just as you had feared, “I’m calling...a guy like you should wear a warning.”

“No fucking way.” Your jaw dropped as he pretended to pole dance while singing the “I’m falling” line.

“He’s impressive.” Bev chuckled and watched your roller coaster of reactions to Richie’s surprise show. That is, until Richie started removing his clothing.

“Nope! I’m out.” Eddie threw his arms up and pushed through the crowd, disappearing in the process. You caught Richie’s hawaiian shirt and thought it would only go that far. It didn’t. It went farther. You drew the line as soon as he reached for his belt and stomped on stage, pulling him away and to the exit. Beverly followed.

“Hey!” Richie pouted while actively trying not to lose his balance. “I was performing!”

“Put your shirt back on.” You handed him his clothes and watched him struggle to get his arms back in the holes. You shook your head and assisted him while Bev went to get him some water.

“Here, Rich. Have some of this.” She handed him a red solo cup.

“Vodka? I like your style!” He slurred and gulped the water down, then spat it out. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“What are we gonna do with him?” Bev asked.

“I guess I’ll take him back to my place. Ms. Maggie will flip if she sees him like this...again.” You sighed and helped Richie to his feet. “C’mon, bud. Let’s get going.”

“You sure you can walk home?” Bev asked. “I mean, you’re not exactly sober, either.”

“I’m sober enough to know he shouldn’t take his clothes off in front of everyone at the party.” You took his hand and led him to the sidewalk where you started your short journey home, which was only four blocks away.

“Are we there yet?” Richie asked for the hundredth time.

“Yes,” you told him and his face lit up, “now you have to be super quiet, okay?” You asked and he nodded as confirmation. The two of you tiptoed to your room and Richie began to strip again. It really wasn’t anything you hadn’t seen before. “Just take a shower, Rich. Be careful.” Richie complied and walked into your bathroom. You found the pajamas he stashed away in your closet and left them on the sink. His toothbrush was already in there for his convenience.

You got dressed in some pajamas and laid in bed, staring at the night light that was changing colors and starting to trip you out. Richie emerged from the bathroom with a groan.

“Why do you let me do the things that I do?” He asked as he crawled into bed with you.

“I don’t. I specifically try to prevent them.” You turned to your other side to face him. “Do you need the trash can?” You poked his stomach.

“Ooh!” Richie moaned. “If you do that again, I will.” He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling.

“Hey, Rich?” You mimicked his position. “Did you wear your glasses in the shower?”

“Shit, I think I did.” He mumbled. You reached for them and placed them on your nightstand.

“Alright, dude. Get some rest. I’ll make my secret hangover cure in the morning.” You assured him and moved back to lying on your side. You felt Richie’s arms surround you as he became the big spoon and put his mouth next to your ear. You hated that. He knew that.

“Goodnighttttt.”

[momentsofbllove]

Alright, y’all, it’s time for me to get to the second half of Where Your Eyes Linger. I am anticipating that it’s going to make me feel even MORE things than the first half, because that’s just what these BL dramas like to do to my poor fragile heart. If you remember we left off with Tae-joo being a whiny little baby and making Kang-gook WALK HOME because he got jealous of the date he made Kang-gook go in the first place. 

Let’s see if this idiot can get his shit together. (I’m thinking no.)

EPISODE FIVE:

Okay, he has immediately regretted his decision and told the driver to turn around. There may be hope for him yet!

He’s mad... at Kang-gook... for walking home... after he told him to walk home?! Boy!

Kang-gook may love this boy but he is also tired of his shit.

Okay okay okay. We’re starting to reflect and look at our actions. This is good! This is progress! I’m proud of you, Tae-joo. 👍

So they’re in the same bed again. They definitely sleep this way every night. WHY?! What is the heterosexual explanation for this? There is none. Everyone knows there is none. Except Tae-joo. He thinks this is normal. It's not normal, Tae-joo.

That’s the second time he’s mentioned his mom! Okay, I’ve now gone from wanting to smack Tae-joo upside the head to wanting to cuddle him until he feels better. Kang-gook... go cuddle him until he feels better!

Kang-gook, you won’t even let him cuddle when he’s missing his mom!?

“I’m sad.” BABY!! SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF THIS BOY!

Oh thank goodness. Finally my precious child gets a cuddle. (But it hurt Kang-gook a little to do it and that makes ME sad!)

Okay, I really adore Hyemi. She is so awkward and precious.

HA! ‘You have a bad personality.’ I love her so much.

This is the weirdest game of dodgeball I’ve ever seen. In America we use like 20 balls and it’s like a medieval war zone with people dying left and right. This is so... tame and polite.

Tae-joo is jealous again...

 I love how they’re both fighting for a spot behind Kang-gook. Like, guys, he’s built like a bear, there’s room for you both!

Ooooooh! The betrayal!!!! 😲

And then Hyemi just runs! Good choice. Good choice.

This whole conversation hurts.

Kang-gook, that is not what he wants and you know it! You’ve been repressing your own feelings for so long, now Tae-joo is staring at you like THAT and you want to spar? You are both so useless.

The episode ends THERE?!?!!!!

Where’s the ‘NEXT’ button?!

EPISODE SIX:

Oh shit! That is the WRONG person to have see them. I don’t know what’s going on with this guy, but I don’t like him!

Okay, but now he’s trying to stop Hyemi from seeing them. Is he protecting them, or her? Either way it’s kind of sweet. Is he going to make me like him?

Bonding over disliking Tae-joo. I can get behind this. (Look, I like Tae-joo, really, especially since that ‘hug me, I’m sad’ moment. But he’s arrogant and selfish. He needs people in his life who are willing to tell him that.)

Kang-gook has been in love with Tae-joo for how long? And now he finally gets the opportunity to kiss him and he just...shoves him away. Damn your sense of propriety, boy!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT EPISODE TITLE?!!!?!!!!!! I don’t like it!!!!!!!

But Kang-gook is very cute pulling Tae-joo around by the wrist like a naughty toddler.

Aaaand Tae-joo is being a pouty baby again.

Oof, Tae-joo is throwing Kang-gook’s words back at him.

‘If we talk about this, we can’t do this for life.’ Oh no! Kang-gook is so worried about losing him. This is not the way to fix it though!

Oh! I did not see a confession coming just like that!

Kang-gook, baby, no! I don’t think he’s acting like this because he sees you as a parental figure/care-giver. That is NOT what this is about.

“I can live without you, you can’t.’ FIRST OF ALL, NO! Second of all, HOW DARE YOU! Kang-gook, what what WHAT are you doing?!!! Why are you trying to hurt him?!

KANG-GOOK WTF?!?!!!!

This hurts and I don’t like it!!! Kang-gook, what have you done?! He’s crying, you’re crying, he’s telling you to leave! SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW!! 😢

Okay, if Kang-gook wasn’t already in love with Tae-joo (even if he’s being an ASS about it!!) he and Hyemi would actually be really cute together. Her little doll is adorable.

‘I’m not having a hard time.’ What the fuck just happened in the gym then?!!! I’m using so many exclamation points right now and it’s all your fault. Not having a hard time. Go apologize to the man you love right now!

He bought Tae-joo chocolate milk. I can’t.

OH SHIT! What happened at the house?!

There is no fucking rest here. NEXT NEXT NEXT!

EPISODE SEVEN:

Okay, so we picked up a few minutes before Kang-gook gets home to the house that has been - what, broken into? Robbed? Worse?! Where is Tae-joo?!!! - and Kang-gook says they just have to make up like they always have before. BOY! You told him the happiest you’ve ever been was when he was IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY! How do you ‘just make up’ from that! Uhg! Boys are so dumb. 😤

Oh god, I was right! Tae-joo is gone!!!!

Kang-gook sounds so scared and lost!

Oh, that bastard! He told on them?!

Oh. Oh no. He was spying on them to protect his dad?

As if I didn’t hate Tae-joo’s dad already, now I just want to stab him in the face with something dull and rusty!

Aww, come on. I get why Kang-gook is mad, but honestly I feel sorry for this guy. Not only did Tae-joo steal 3 of his girlfriends, but then he was forced to spy on them and tell their secrets in order to protect his family. This guy is not a bad guy, he’s in the same boat they are, being controlled by the chairman. Poor thing.

Nooo! Baby, you’re not trash! You didn’t have a choice! Oh gosh, this guy (whose name I can’t freaking remember even though it was literally JUST on my screen) is now part of the ‘I will protect you, you sweet small bean’ club. It includes Tae-joo, Hyemi, and now this guy. Kang-gook WAS on that list, but he got kicked off when he was mean to Tae-joo.

Oh god. Tae-joo just kneeling there in front of his father and his lackeys... he looks so small and vulnerable! 🥺

Not only is he begging his father not to hurt the man he loves, but he also thinks he’s the only one that feels that way and my heart is CRYING!

There’s that ‘do whatever you want to me but don’t hurt the people I love’ thing again. He knows he’s in trouble, he looks so scared and alone, but damn it if he isn’t going to protect his mother, even if she’s gone. This boy!

Oh! The look on Tae-joo’s face when Kang-gook arrived! He really didn’t think he’d come.

He’s really just going to do this, huh? Take on all these people to get to Tae-joo while monologueing about how he doesn’t want to be separated from him. It’s okay. I didn’t need my heart anyway!

Oh god! That eye-contact through the window! Tae-joo looks so heartbroken watching Kang-gook get hurt!

And Kang-gook finally realizing what he feels is love while he’s bleeding on the ground, tears in his eyes while he looks at the person he has spent his whole life devoted to!

He can’t keep his eyes of Tae-joo! My heart!!!

This. Is too much. To handle.

EPISODE EIGHT:

Oh god! He went through all of that for five minutes with Tae-joo! What, to say goodbye?! No!

I want to murder this asshole and feed him to wild dogs! Stop hurting my baby! 😡 (Kang-gook is officially back on the small bean protection squad!) 

The look on Tae-joo’s face as he watches Kang-gook get beaten for him! 😢

No! Don’t go to England! Tae-joo, don’t give your father what he wants!

He sounds so broken and sad and alone. My baby!

He’s asking for one more night with Kang-gook before he goes... 😫

And now it’s Tae-joo’s turn to take care of Kang-gook. I can’t.

Everything about this hurts. Kang-gook finally confessing his feelings in return, Tae-joo refusing to kiss Kang-gook (why Tae-joo? because it would be too hard to live with the knowledge of his kiss when you know you’re leaving?).

‘My dream is to live happily, and I’m happiest when I’m with you.’

That... is the most romantic line... ever. He doesn’t want money, or power, or any of this things his father wants him to have. He just wants to be happy, and Kang-gook is his happiness. I’m just...........

Noooo! He doesn’t even say goodbye one last time?! He just leaves when he thinks Kang-gook is sleeping?!

Kang-gook’s just waiting for him to come back but he DOESN’T! 😭

What... is happening? What is going on? I’m very confused. There was a strange scene at the end of the last episode that I thought was, like... a preview for this one... but now Kang-gook is leaving the Choi’s restaurant. When did he start working there in the first place? I’m very confused. (Also... I’m sorry... that yellow sweater... is awful on him. Like... it’s so bad? And that hair cut... is so bad. This whole look on him is not good. Not good.)

Wait... are Hyemi and the not-bad-guy dating? Okay, that’s kind of cute.

Oh, ouch. Hyemi’s mom is brutal.

Aaw, and him and Kang-gook are friends now. That’s cute. But also confusing! How long has it been since Tae-joo left? It JUST happened, but everything’s changed, so time must have passed. Did I miss something?

Kang-gook: *beats the crap out of 3 trained bodyguards* Mrs. Choi: our Gook-y is so weak and frail!

Oh now they tell us! Three years?! I am not okay with this! Going to Japan to FORGET Tae-joo? I’m REALLY not okay with this! 😟

Oh god, he looks so much better this way. The blazer, the hair... so much better!

Seriously, he looks like a completely different person. He’s a very attractive man. That restaurant look was just.. so not good for him.

Oh!

Tae-joo came back for him just like he promised!!!

Haha! Yes, Tae-joo. Yes, he did get more handsome!

Yes, please run away together...

Aaaaah the ear rub! My heart! 🥰

YES! Kang-gook, get your man!

Oh gosh, is there anything better than smiling into a kiss because you’re so happy? Now I’M so happy! 💖💖💖

Okay, wow. That last episode was a damn roller coaster! This show definitely would have benefited from another hour or two to really explore a lot of these plot points, especially the three years they were apart. But I’ve read that just getting this show made in the first place was a huge success for LGBTQ+ representation in South Korea, so honestly everything this show was, was so good! So so good! (I also hear that the same production company is coming out with another one, Mr. Heart, so I’ll be looking for that one!)

[neverleaveyoubehind]

Teen Wolf : 1x01 “Wolf Moon”

OMG they look so young! This whole episode has made me feel so old, I can’t believe that it’s been 9 years since this aired. I still remember watching this after middle school and now, it’s been almost a decade, I’m in college , I’m a full adult, unbelievable!

Let’s proceed with the actual reaction, though.

The first scene it’s surprisingly good, I mean, the way it starts all somber with the creepy music, you see all the police department and the Sheriff arriving to the woods, all the police dogs barking , the fog ,... I really liked it. Actually, I had forgotten about this scene in particular.

Like, we actually get to see the Sheriff a little bit, in my mind we weren’t introduced to the Sheriff until later in the episode. That was cool, knowing that he’s the first important character we see (even though you need to be paying a lot of attention to see that it’s him, because they just focus on showing his arm or something like that )

Suddenly, the music changes into an upbeat song, and we are in Scotts house. (God, seeing Scott fixing the Lacrosse stick gave me ALL the nostalgic feelings I could handle) Tyler Posey looks so young, like a little baby, he changes so much during the years. Not like Dylan who looks exactly the same but , with longer hair 9 years later.

Anyway, we have baby Scott (that’s how I will be referring to him for the next 2 seasons aprox) working out , being teenagery , brushing his teeth (his sink worried me a bit, maybe they should think about investing in a new one ‘cause that one looks nasty) Then, he hears a noise and freaks out. BTW, Scotts hair is a whole situation, it’s way too long for such a small face.

He freaks out, gets out of the house with a baseball bat,which might have been the highlight of my day (also,the baseball bat as a deathly weapon was Scott’s idea first ,ladies and gentlemen, let’s take that into consideration) and we are finally introduced to Stiles.

What better way to introduce him than having him hanging for his first 2 minutes on screen? (he being completely unfazed by it, and carrying the conversation like nothing was wrong, is my favorite thing in the world and the reason why I love Stiles so much) if this whole scene isn’t the reason why everyone kept watching the pilot, Idk what to tell you.

Ok, then, after the best interaction ever, Stiles has somewhat convinced Scott to go look for the body in the woods. Because, yes people, there’s a body , this body is missing a half and Stiles wants to find it. Like, of course he does, this man thinks he’s a detective or something (And yes, I did say a half because we don’t know which part is missing) So, in what has to be the most teenager/peer pressure way (reluctantly following your best friend trough the woods with a murderer on the loose) our story begins.

We have Stiles and Scott walking around trying to find the body (every sentence that leaves Dylan's mouth during this episode is gold, that's really my opinion) Scotty is worried about the prospect of founding not only the body but, the murderer, Stiles is living his best life, joking around, walking way too fast for our asthmatic baby Scott, and that's how they get separated.

We properly meet one of the best characters of the show, the sheriff Stilinski, after Stiles gets scared by another deputy that thinks he’s the murderer, and Stiles leaves with his dad. So, now we have us a baby Scott walking alone, in the dark, back home.

He’s walking for a bit, with creppy background music and various animal noises (the music and the ambiance of this show are great. Props to the music team, honestly) Then, he reaches a clearing in the middle of the forest, takes out his inhaler, and when he is about to use it, a bunch of deer bump into him causing him to fall to the ground and drop the inhaler. (I bet he was more worried about dying crushed by deer than losing it, though) When the deer have gone their merry way,and he no longer thinks he’s going to die, he gets up and starts looking for the inhaler with the light of his cell phone (with the light of the screen to be precise. Scotty isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed), but he doesn’t find his inhaler, he finds... The body (the upper part, in case someone was wondering)

Then, Scotty jumps back from the scare, and falls down a hill. When he gets up, a huge black monster attacks him and baby Scott gets bitten!

(The CGI of the first season is truly horrifying but, don’t panic my friends, it will get better)

Baby Scott runs as good as he can manage ,after being bitten by an unknown huge thing and having lost his inhaler,through the woods until he reaches the road, where he is almost hit by a car (our homeboy Scotty is having a really bad night)

SPOILER

The fact that he gets almost run over by Allison and her mom , who aren’t even in the show yet is amazing. Jeff did truly love this 2 because their storyline is truly wonderful, their whole relationship is handled with such care and a lot of attention to details. It makes my heart soft.

SPOILER

They go to school, Jackson looks like an asshole and turns out to be an asshole, normal High School shit. Scotty shows Stiles his bandage and tells him that a wolf bit him, then Stiles proceeds to laugh his ass off because there hasn’t been wolfs in California in like 60 years (Stiles is the kind of person that knows that type of thing) and , baby Scott tells him that he found the body.

Then this whole hilarious scene happens:

They go to class and Scotty starts hearing a phone ringing and turns out he’s the only one hearing it (obviously dude, you’re a werewolf) because it’s the phone of a new girl that’s outside of the High School waiting for the headmaster (I guess, I though someone else was but maybe that hasn’t happened,yet) this new girl is talking on the phone with her mom and she realizes that she forgot to bring a pen (really? You forget to bring a pen to your first day of High School? Someone wasn’t prepared)

So the headmaster brings the new girl to Scotty’s class , her name is Allison, and baby Scott has a crush on her the second he sees her (puppy love has never been more fitting )

Then, he does that whole thing of giving her a pen that she didn’t ask for (if I was Allison I’d be creeped out that someone just gave me a pen after I said outside of the building that I didn’t have one but, IDK, maybe it’s just me)

Anyway, Lydia and Allison become BFFs ,they have Lacrosse practice (we hear the Lacrosse background music for the first time) and surprise, Baby Scott didn’t suck (we also meet Coach aka the most important person of Beacon Hills high school) After school Stiles and Scott go back to the wood to look for the body and the inhaler (seriously, do this kids never learn?) while Stiles jokes about Scotty being a werewolf,and Derek Hale makes his first appearance (God Derek looks like Edward Cullen in this episode) he gives Scott his inhaler back and tells them to get out of his property (like an old man)

Stiles tells Scotty that almost all of Derek’s family died in a fire in his house and baby Scott leaves to go to work. He goes to feed the cats and they freak out, Allison comes to the vet hysterical with a dog she run over , this cutie moment happens :

Baby Scott is in love, so he asks her out to Lydia’s party that friday, Allison is also in love so she says yes. Scotty goes to sleep feeling on cloud nine and wakes up in the middle of the woods (it was a full moon the night before) he sees the big monster that attacked him the other night starts running and ends up falling in someone’s pool (Baby Scott is way to ripped for an asthmatic little kid but, ok)

He goes to school , Jackson interrogates him about steroids (fuck off Jackson, no one likes you. Well, maybe Lydia, but that’s it) Scotty freaks out about sleepwalking 40 miles into the woods, they go to Lacrosse practice and Scotty makes first line so he’s going to be playing in their first Lacrosse game of the year ,Stiles is suspicious because Scott was awful at Lacrosse like 2 days ago , and suddenly he’s a pro (like he should be, honestly, people should listen to Stiles more)

Stiles goes home researches a freaking ton about lycanthropy and werewolfs and decides that yes, his best friend is a werewolf (just like that, that was his first option and he stuck to it) he calls Scotty, tells him that he should cancel his date with Allison just in case he tries to kill her but Scott ignores him.

Melissa and baby Scott have a nice mother-son moment before his first ever date (with a lot more mentions of teenage pregnancies and underage sex for what one would expect from a first date)

Baby Scott takes Allison to the party, everything is going great, until it isn’t. Suddenly Scott starts feeling the bloodlust and the changes that Stiles had warned him about, so he leaves the party (leaving Allison alone without as mush as an apology, and without a way to get back home) Do not fear, though. Derek offers to take her home so everything’s great.

Scotty goes home while having a whole freak out and tells Stiles (who has followed him because he’s the best friend anyone could ever have) that Derek is the werewolf that bit him. Stiles tells Scotty that Derek took Allison home, Baby Scott leaves to have a fucking argument with Derek, and Stiles goes to Allison’s house (Allison was just fine so Stiles leaves)

Scotty and Derek get attacked by werewolf hunters (needless to say, Scotty won’t be sleeping in a while)

In the morning Stiles picks him up from the woods. At school Scotty apologizes to Allison, she forgives him because they are in love (or stupid , if I had been left like that in the first date I wouldn’t have forgiven him) and we are introduced to Allison’s dad

Wait, did I say Allison’s dad? I meant the werewolf hunter that tried to kill him the night before.

Wow that was a roller coaster of emotions ! What did you guys think? Did you remember all of what actually happens ? Did you also realize that you’ve been mixing what happens in each season together into one big season? Because I did