#I was actually a little hesitant if I should post this tbh

[dreamii-krybaby]

I hate the fact that I have to make a post regarding the situation that is happening on MDTumblr rn. But it has gotten the point its been affecting people that have nothing to do with it, even me a little, which I did not expect.

I have no intention of involving myself or in picking sides, but I feel like by already making this post am already putting my feet in the water. But anyways, am going to get straight to the point

If you have no personal relationships with the people who are involved, don’t involve yourself, don’t pay attention to it, that’s it, ignore it. Don’t discuss it, don’t opinion on it, nada, cero. And if you do want to discuss it, do it privately with people of trust.

And if you are confused on what’s going on? Thats fine, in fact, don’t even pay attention to it, don’t ask, keep doing your own thing. It’s not worth your time and energy.

As of rn I feel like there is still a lot of lack of information regarding context and details. And I feel the best way to approach this is to be neutral. As if worse case scenario, if either side of the conflict turns out to be wrong, you save yourself from embarrassment.

Its sucks that I need to talk about this bc am seeing a lot of people that don’t have to do with anything get involved or become affected by it. Even myself.

What am about to do this hypocritical of my part, since I advised to not make an opinion, but I have to say this:

Am disappointed at how some of the people that are heavily involved isn’t really handling the situation well. As in handling things in a more in civil way you could say.

Yes am aware some of them are minors but that doesn’t mean some of them can’t do better.

And am also disappointed that some who aren’t minors are also not handling the situation that well.

I’ve seen both parties insult at eachother, Like if that’s going to make anything better.

So please, if you are an outsider and are feeling affected by this whole thing or are confused, ignore it completely. This is THEIR problem not YOUR’S or MINE’S.

One or two conflicts shouldn’t go out if their way to involve unrelated people and suck the joy out of the entire community. Yes, I know one of them involves serious accusations, but as I said before, they could have handled the situation better and there is a lot of unclear information.

My point still stands, am not taking sides, do not come here and try to persuade me. Bc I won’t.

If after seeing this you disagree with me and no longer want to interact with me, that’s fine. I do not care.

Also if any of you need a break, that’s ok.

And am saying all of this because I learned it from personal experiences in other platforms. And bc am seeing how its affecting way more people than it should.

I will still be posting contend btw.

Anyways made some memes to cheer up a little.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Hey so you've posted a bit about replaying DA and I wanted to know if you have a canon run through

I do! I'm currently replaying through my canon run right now [with a few deviations here and there] because every time I finish a run, some time passes before I'm like, ".........I miss them." It makes doing an alternate run harder, too.

For DAO, I play as a rogue lady Tabris named Rosalie, or Rose. Dual-wielding ranger and dualist. Her most used party dynamic is Alistair/Morrigan/Zevran. She named the mabari Griffon after the tales of Grey Wardens and their griffons. Rose romanced Alistair, kept him a warden and made Anora queen. She considers Morrigan one of her closest friends until Morrigan reveals her true intentions for coming with them. I've written about that whole thing before. Honestly, as far as companions go, Rose becomes close friends with most of them... except Wynne, they tend to butt heads in a lot of ways.

Rose didn't want to become a warden and thinks most of their rules and secrets are bullshit. Duncan's excuse for not coming to help her and the other elven women Vaughan took is a driving force for her to defy that "we can't get involved" rule as much as she can during and post-blight. She sided with the mages in Kinloch and with their help saved Connor, made Bhelen king of Orzammar, and settled things between the Dalish and the werewolves peacefully by convincing Zathrian to end the curse. She executed Loghain at the Landsmeet since, y'know... he sold city elves, nearly including her father, to Tevinter slavers to fund his war so... in her eyes, he doesn't get to live after that.

This playthrough I did make a save to reject Morrigan's dark ritual to see what happens when the warden makes the ultimate sacrifice and it's the most unsatisfying ending. It's such a, "No no noooo we didn't deserve this! After everything we went through! Just for it to end like that??" hopeless feeling... which was then fixed when I went back and made my canon choice of begrudgingly accepting the deal [even though it mostly goes against Rose's character but I'm weak and selfish and want her and Alistair to live].

In DA2, I play as a male mage Hawke named Edgar, or Ed. Force mage and blood mage. His most used party dynamic is Carver/Merrill/Anders until Carver goes to the Grey Wardens, then it's Isabela/Merrill/Anders. He's mostly purple in personality, but occasionally dips into blue, and I can count the number of times he's gone red on one hand. He named his mabari Fleabag after Malcolm bought the pup from a traveling merchant who failed to mention he was flea ridden. Several baths later, the mabari was finally flea free but Ed decided he should never live it down and named him Fleabag.

Ed maxes out the friendships with everyone [yes, including Carver, Ed tries so damn hard with him] except Aveline, he maxes out her rivalry. They all side with him and the mages in the end. He romanced Anders. I once did a run where I romanced Fenris with Ed and even though I liked it, the whole playthrough felt wrong because romancing Anders is, like... a fundamental part of Ed's story now... Even though they break up in the end.

I've done all three options across different playthroughs when it comes to Anders; I've spared him, I've killed him, and I've told him to leave. My canon choice is to tell him to leave, and then let him join my party later after we've sided with the mages. It's hard to explain without writing a full essay, but Ed and Anders are pretty much life partners at this point. Even if it's no longer romantic because a huge amount of trust was broken, even if they never get back together in that regard, even if Anders will now be on the run for the rest of his life, whether or not Ed agrees with him [he does and he doesn't, it's complicated] like... Ed loves him and he'll always love him, y'know? He won't abandon him even when everyone tells him he should.....but then DAI happened uhhh

Finally for DAI, I play a lady mage Lavellan named Ashalle, or Ashlaen, or just Ash. She's a knight-enchanter who mostly does storm magic. I'd say DAI is the game where I have a pretty even party use that I rotate between; Cassandra/Varric/Vivienne, Solas/Sera/Blackwall, The Iron Bull/Dorian/Cole. She sides with the mages in Redcliffe and left Hawke in the fade [sorry Ed, and sorry Anders... and sorry Carver... and Varric]. When it came to picking a ruler for Orlais, she figured all options sucked but went with Celene and Briala. Ash drank from the well, and then disbanded the inquisition in Trespasser.

I dislike how DAI just kinda plops your inquisitor into existence with only a small paragraph explaining why they were at the conclave; I wish it had a DAO approach so that's what I did for my inquisitor. Before I start the DAI playthrough, I boot up DAO. Before she was Ashalle Lavellan, she was a circle mage named Ashlaen Surana who escaped with Jowan after he lied to her about being a blood mage. In the ten years pre-DAI, she lost Jowan. In her grief, joined the Dalish, changed her name, and eventually ended up at the conclave. It just adds a lot more meat and spice to the choices and interactions with companions and advisors since she keeps that part of her backstory a secret. After all, she helped a blood mage and then was accused of being one herself before fleeing; she doesn't want the inquisition to know that. All of her crafted staves are named after Jowan while her crafted robes are usually named after her conflicting identities and pieces of her past, too..... Oh, speaking of past, she romanced Cullen. Because of course.

With the context of all this, it becomes them reuniting after they may or may not have had a thing going on in the circle, but then she escaped and he believed she was actually a blood mage for ten years. Cullen sees her like "Ah. Yes. You. Whom I haven't met. Hope they're right about you. We've lost a lot of people to get you here. Glad you survived." when internally he's screaming "I know who you are, those tattoos fool me not! Why are you here?? To torment ME specifically??" Then there's Ash who takes a little longer to recognize him, and when she does, it solidifies that she needs to run after this because he knows who she is and why she fled, that's not good, she's not going back to the circle after all this is done.

But y'know... they work it out. Eventually.

That's my canon run through of all three games. I keep trying to talk myself into doing a full alternate canon run, but the only game I've successfully done a different route in is DAI with my male rogue Tristan Trevelyan whose backstory was that he's a pro-mage ex-templar. That was fun to see how different things play out, but I haven't managed it for the other two.

I'd like to play DAO as a more cutthroat warden who, unlike Rose, won't go out of their way to do kind things; they'll do what they deem necessary. I'd like to do a lady warrior Hawke run with Bethany as the surviving sibling, and I've tried before but every time I hit a point where I'm like ".....I miss Carver so much" and abandon the run. Like there's always something that makes me abandon the run. I almost abandoned Tristan's run, too, but somehow I pushed through and got invested. I dunno. One day I'll put on my big girl pants and just do it.

[kaleidohscopic]

IN THE DYING SUMMER SUN — BBH

PAIRING: baekhyun x female reader SUMMARY: a weekend up at the beach house might just be enough to make you crack and come clean about your little (big, fat) crush. alternatively, park chanyeol is possibly the worst wingman ever. GENRE: friends to lovers! au, crush! baekhyun, romance, fluff, a pinch of angst, pining, humour WARNINGS: swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension!!, slightly suggestive, reader and baekhyun are both kind of clueless tbh WORD COUNT: 9.4k NOTE: happy birthday baekhyun!! thought it would be fitting to start off this blog with a fic for bbh on his birthday. this was supposed to be a 4-5k piece of fluff but somehow it ended up being double that and a lot more serious than i originally intended (oops?). kinda nervy posting such a long fic for the first time ever so feedback is most certainly welcome and i hope you enjoy!

“You definitely rigged this.”

Chanyeol only rewarded you with a shit-eating grin.

The scrap of paper couldn’t weigh more than a few grams, but in your hands, they felt like the barbell plates at the gym that he could never leave alone. Especially since a certain someone was also holding another scrap of paper with ‘ground floor twin room’ hastily scrawled across it.

You shook your head vehemently, fixing the tall boy with a dagger-like stare that he seemed completely unfazed by. “I demand a redraw.”

“Which is not going to happen,” was his gleeful response. “We all agreed — no take-backs before picking.” The hat that you had all drawn out of, now empty, was tossed on the coffee table as everyone else began to move their bags into their freshly chosen rooms. Somewhere down the hallway, Jongin tripped over the wheels of his suitcase, his pained groan and Kyungsoo’s laughter bouncing against the walls of the AirBnb.

“Besides,” Chanyeol continued, hand coming up to ruffle your hair, “if I had actually rigged it, you should be thanking me. I’d be doing you a favour.” He gestured towards Baekhyun, who was busying himself with packing his hoodie back into his duffle bag, hopefully oblivious to the fact that the two of you were conspiring about him less than three metres away. 

“Yeah, say it any louder, why don’t you. And no, that wasn’t an invitation,” you warned, catching the wicked glint in Chanyeol’s eyes. He opened his mouth, as if to make good on your request and let the whole house know, only to choke back a groan at the elbow you shoved into his side. Behave, said the glare that you shot at him. His replying smile was anything but reassuring, before he picked up his bag and headed upstairs.

That was what you got for getting a little too drunk at Jongdae’s housewarming get-together last month and accidentally slipping up about your big, fat, debilitating crush on Baekhyun after the third glass of pinot noir in one night. If it had been anyone else made aware of your juvenile secret, you would probably be feeling a little less uneasy — but it just had to be the one person who couldn’t keep his mouth shut to save his life. Not to mention Park Chanyeol was a terrible wingman, having heard about the ridiculous escapades he put Jongdae through before he finally cuffed his girlfriend. Lucky for you, you were now getting to experience it first-hand.

“I can ask Jongin to swap, if you really don’t want to room with me,” came a soft voice from your right. Baekhyun regarded you with an expectant, if somewhat hesitant expression. 

“No, it’s okay,” you replied, trying your best to mask the panic that was fighting its way into your voice. It would be just your luck, that he would think your reluctance to share a sleeping space with him was because you didn’t like him enough, and not that you liked him a little too much. The slight furrow in his brow seemed to melt away with your words. “I just wanted the big room with the queen bed, but somehow Chanyeol got it. I seriously think he did something to these,” you said, waving your slip of paper that matched the one he was holding.

Come to think of it, you and Baekhyun had also been the last ones to draw out of the hat, since Chanyeol had insisted on going counter-clockwise around the dining table. How he managed to game the room allocations was beyond you, but you were now almost certain that he did.

“It’s good that he’s by himself though. The snoring would drive anyone mad,” Baekhyun mused, and you had to chuckle in agreement. 

“That time he passed out at my place after Saturday drinks…I genuinely thought I’d end up with a murder charge that night.” you said, chest squeezing at the way his eyes crinkled into crescent moons at your words. You busied yourself with your own bag, hoping he wouldn’t see the dumb smile on your face, and be able to tell how pleased you were to have teased a laugh out of him. Laughter was not something he usually withheld — he gave it freely, if not a little too generously — but it always did a funny thing to your heart when you were the cause of it. 

“Definitely can’t have that. Pretty face like yours would not last a day in jail.” With one hand around his own duffle, he draped the free one around your shoulders, letting the warmth of his arm wrap around you as you headed down the corridor to the room you’d be sharing for the weekend.

Having a crush on Baekhyun was no big deal. Probably even normal, if his college days were anything to go by. But what made it so debilitating was things like this — the little comments he’d throw around that could easily be passed off as just friendly flirting if you were so inclined, though you sometimes let yourself imagine his intentions came more from the flirting than the friendly part. He was a generally touchy person too, never missing a chance to pat Kyungsoo’s ass when the opportunity arose, but sometimes the brush of his fingers against the inside of your wrist felt a little too affectionate for two people united solely through friendship, even if you were the only one who internally crossed that line a while ago. It was things like this that made you question, every once in a while, if your feelings were as one-sided as you believed. Most of the time though, you chalked it up to his disposition, his easy-going magnetism, and concluded that whatever signals you thought he was sending were merely due to your overactive imagination running wild with hopes that he felt the same way.

“Dibs left,” he said, plopping down on the twin bed closer to the window. His arms raised above his head in a long, yawning stretch, revealing a thin strip of skin at the waistband of his jeans. Just the sight of it was enough to control your blood, sending a rush of it to your face, and you internally cursed yourself for being so weak to such a small thing. It was obvious you had been alone for way too long. He was too comfortable to notice the flush on your cheeks, eyes shut and enjoying the tension leaving his body after the long drive up.

You sat yourself down carefully on the remaining bed, noting the gap between the two mattresses. Whether you wanted to push them together or against opposite walls of the room, you couldn’t be sure. It was hard to form coherent thoughts when he turned to you with a boyish playfulness that curled the corner of his mouth upwards.

“You’re not going to sleepwalk your way into my bed, are you?” he asked, chin in his hand, a teasing glint in his eyes. You tried hard to catch yourself from choking on your own saliva.

“I’ve been known to kick in my sleep,” was your reply, voice much more nonchalant than you thought you were capable of, given that he had just planted the seed of the two of you sharing a twin mattress that was definitely not big enough to lie down on without touching in at least three different places. The glint in his eyes faded immediately, giving way to thinly-veiled concern at the threat underlying your words.

“I was kidding,” you clarified when he sat up and started to back away from you. “At least, I haven’t done that for fifteen or so years. But you never know, it might come back again tonight, when you’ve finally fallen asleep, and then BAM! Foot to the face. You better sleep with your eyes open, Byun Baekhyun,” you warned, giggling at the realisation dawning over his face before his pretty features settled into mock annoyance.

“You just think you’re so funny, don’t you?” He was on all fours now, making his way towards you with a wolfish grin. In no time, he had crawled over the gap between your two beds and suddenly his fingers were prodding at your ribs. It was a well-planned tickle attack, and one you had no chance of escaping from, since his legs had caged you in and the rest of him was pinning you down. You were helpless against the ambush of his fingers, succumbing to them with gasping giggles, punctuated by desperate pleas for him to stop. He showed no intention of letting up, fingers digging even deeper into your waist.

If you were going to die like this, you thought, at least you’d be dying while lying under him.

“When you two are done canoodling, we’re going to go set up on the beach,” came a voice from the doorway. Baekhyun’s merciless fingers paused, and the two of you looked back to see Chanyeol’s amused face at the foot of your bed, smirking like he knew some big secret that neither of you were privy to. God, you were seriously regretting that third glass at Jongdae’s new apartment last month.

Baekhyun turned back to you, your noses almost touching, and you could feel the air from his exhales fanning against the skin of your cheek. There was a mole just above the corner of his mouth that you don’t think you had ever noticed before. Warmth from his jean-clad legs radiated into your hips and meandered up and down your spine, and suddenly the late summer air around you was becoming sticky and heavier than usual. 

As if just now noticing the proximity you were in, he slowly untangled himself from your limbs, making sure not to crush you in the process. You sat up, still breathless, having just calmed down enough for full inhales again, but so was he, you noted. Surely tickling wasn’t that exertive of an activity? Or maybe you’d put up a better fight than you had thought.

“Don’t forget your towels,” was the last thing Chanyeol said before he ducked out, yelling at Jongin to grab the beach umbrellas, not the rain ones. There were a few seconds just filled with the sounds of your slowing breathing.

“I’m going to go get changed,” Baekhyun said, turning around to dig through his bag for his swim shorts. You couldn’t see his expression, but you could hear the slight tremble in his voice that indicated he hadn’t quite recovered from whatever was afflicting him. “We’ll probably just be setting up the umbrellas, so no rush, just come down when you’re ready.” As he turned around to head towards the bathroom, he flashed you that familiar smile, the one that always resulted in one of your own to mirror his, and set you at ease again. 

“And make sure you bring your sunscreen,” he added, before disappearing down the hallway. You watched him go, throwing yourself back onto the bed with a frustrated groan once you were sure he was out of earshot. Two whole days and nights in this tiny room, in the languid death of summer, with his body just an arm’s length away from yours — you had no idea how much of this you could stomach and emerge with your sanity intact.

This was shaping up to be the longest weekend ever.

The afternoon sun was unforgiving when you emerged from the house. Though you had thrown on a cover up before leaving, you could feel the heat tingling on the surface of your skin through the thin cotton. From the top of the bushy path leading down to the beach, you could already hear the tell-tale signs of a competition brewing between the boys, even if you couldn’t quite see them yet. A few steps down and you could make out their figures, managing to catch the view of Chanyeol flipping backwards off the jetty before plunging into the water, where the rest of them were bobbing around. Baekhyun’s voice floated above the others the way it always did when he was teasing, liltingly distinguishable, though perhaps that was only because you were now so attuned to it that other voices naturally started to sound more foreign. 

It was hard to pinpoint exactly when he went from Baekhyun, your friend who tended to get a little too rowdy after half a can of beer, to Baekhyun, your friend who made your heart pick up a little faster when you thought of him. One day his hiccuping laugh was teetering on the edge of obnoxiousness, and then all of a sudden it became endearing to hear the raw joy in his voice. If you knew exactly when the switch flipped, maybe you’d be able to retrace your steps and stop yourself from ever setting off down this path to end up where you were now, watching the sunlight glisten against his wet face with an overwhelming affection, wondering what it would be like to be the private audience of his radiant smile everyday.

You set your things down on the sand next to the pile of clothes and towels that were already there, recognising Chanyeol’s hat somewhere in the mix. The beach umbrella that Jongin had set up was already beginning to lurch towards one side, the brim rather close to the ground. Fixing it back in place and digging it into the sand a little deeper, you let out a fond laugh — some things, like the way Jongin used his hands like they weren’t his own, would stand the test of time. 

You had hoped that your friendship with Baekhyun would be one of those things, but the more time you spent casting longing glances his way when he wasn’t looking, the more you weren’t sure if you could ever recover from his rejection if you ever did decide to be honest about your feelings towards him. So you did your best to bury them, content to enjoy his company in the way you were both familiar with, afraid that if they did surface, they’d taint your friendship with something unpleasant and irreversible. If you couldn’t own the sun, at least you could still revel in its warmth.

Satisfied with the position of your towel underneath the shade of the umbrella, you looked back at the water, returning Baekhyun’s sweeping wave with a small one of your own. It was just enough of a distraction for Chanyeol to turn around as well, and Baekhyun seized the opportunity to dunk him, gleefully howling as the taller boy’s head disappeared below the waves. Before Chanyeol could resurface and enact his retaliation, Baekhyun was already making his escape, swimming towards the shore with fearful determination. Chanyeol made to follow, but upon seeing you sitting on the beach with your eyes fixed on Baekhyun’s approaching figure, he thought better of it, turning back around to continue the diving evaluation as Jongin took his turn to leap off the jetty.

With an amused smile, you watched as Baekhyun hurried out of the ocean, wet hair flying in all directions and flicking droplets of seawater across the sand. The water trickled down the planes of his bare torso, and you tried to keep your eyes away from the firmness of his pec, or the flexing movements of his abdominals as he made his way over to you. One thing was for sure — the gym sessions with Chanyeol were paying off. 

When he finally reached you, Baekhyun slumped onto your towel, ignoring your protests for him to stay away, and proceeded to soak you in the remaining water that was still clinging to his body. The skin of his stomach was cool against your calf, and he giggled delightfully at your attempts to push him off to avoid getting more water onto your clothes.

“Stop trying to fight it, you’re going to get wet when you go in anyway,” he said, finally rolling off you.

“I wasn’t planning on going in. I’m scared you’ll try to drown me,” you huffed, lightly flicking some sand onto his shoulder with your toe. He turned back around, chin cradled in his left hand, and flashed you a boyish smile.

“I would never do that,” he said, though the glint in his eyes was anything but convincing. “Besides, what are you going to do at the beach if you’re not getting in the water?”

You picked up the book nestled in between your shoes and waved it at him. “Read, of course.” He regarded the worn paperback with amused disbelief, eyebrows slightly raised. It was only when you flipped the book open to the paperclip you’d been using as a bookmark that he realised you were serious, and let out a scoff that was laced with something akin to fondness.

“You are such a cliche. Pretty girl reading at the beach? Unbelievable, seriously,” he said, before wriggling his head into your stomach, relishing in your shocked squeals as your cover up began to dampen again. His mischief had left a few wet patches on the fabric that were beginning to stick to your body in the uncomfortable fashion of late summer. You reached for the hem, pulling it off not without some struggle, and immediately felt the sun kissing against your bare shoulders. Though you were mostly covered by the shade from the umbrella, the last thing you wanted was a blistering sunburn where the straps of your tote bag usually rested, so you grabbed the sunscreen you had so diligently packed and began applying it on the parts of your skin that were exposed.

Baekhyun had gone uncharacteristically quiet. If you had been paying attention to him instead of so attentively rubbing the cream into the underside of your knee, perhaps you would have noticed the way his eyes lingered on you for a little longer than would have been polite. They followed the path your hands took, from the expanse of skin below your neck, across your stomach, and down the length of your legs.

“Do you want me to do your back?” he blurted, his voice a little more strained than usual. He was wearing an odd expression on his face, something you couldn’t quite place, but it was different from the usual playful one you were most well acquainted with. Nevertheless, you agreed, passing him the tube and turning around so your back was facing him.

His fingers were still cold from the water, and you jumped when they first made contact with your skin. He only laughed, squeezing both hands around your shoulders to hold you still before he got back to work again.

The first graze of his hands across your shoulders was tentative. You could feel the heat of him behind your back, the smell of salt and sun clinging to the air around you. His breaths fanned the skin on the back of your neck, sending goosebumps down your arms and legs despite the thick heat of the afternoon. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything. Slowly, his hands made their way down to your lower back, and it was then that you realised you might be in trouble. His hands pressed against the grooves of your spine, curving ever so slightly around your waist, and if you shivered, he pretended not to feel you tremble in his grasp. 

It was when his fingers slipped underneath the ties of your bikini top that the alarm bells began to go off in your head. His movements were hesitant, fingers stuttering in their dance across your skin before they gingerly pulled the strings aside to spread the sunscreen between the top and bottom halves of your back. It was too much, feeling his warmth, knowing there was only an inch of space between your bare torsos, having his hands on you doing such a thorough job with the task he had assigned to himself. When the tips of his fingers brushed the side of your ribs, just under the edge of the fabric, you couldn’t help the breathy noise that escaped your lips. 

“Actually, I think I left something back at the house,” you said suddenly, words hurriedly running into each other as they tripped over your tongue on the way out of your mouth. Twisting away from his dangerous touch, you bolted to a stand and hoped he’d attribute the pinkness of your cheeks to being outside in the brightness of the afternoon. Your words came out staggered, the slight tremble in your voice betraying the composure you were fighting so hard to maintain. 

Baekhyun’s gaze was careful, if not a little confused. The more his eyes ran over you, the more you were sure that the depth of your feelings towards him were beginning to surface on your face. Another second and he’d be able to tell, he’d figure out the little secret you’d been trying to conceal for the last couple of months. And then you wouldn’t be able to deny its existence anymore. 

So you fled, tossing a rushed promise to be right back over your shoulder before scurrying up the bushy path again. Away from the scrutiny of his eyes, away from the truth you did not want revealed to the world. The ghost of his touch lingered between your shoulder blades and along the ridges of your spine, your body already committing to memory the caress of his skin against yours. You realised then, that it would not be possible to continue living on as usual, now that you knew the taste of his closeness, as fleeting as it may have been.

“I think you should just go for it.”

Your fingers tightened around the glass at his words. Chanyeol’s tone was light and pragmatic, speaking as if the act of unfurling your heart were nothing more than a decision about whether to have steak or pork belly for dinner. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you scoffed, bringing the bottle to your lips.

“I’m serious though,” he continued, nudging your arm with the lip of his own beer. “I think you should just tell him, and see what he says. And stop expecting the worst. You’ll never know how things could turn out if you never do anything.”

You let your head fall back to lean on the doorframe you were both standing against, gazing out at the patio that had begun to darken following the sunset. Baekhyun and Jongin were placed at opposite ends of the ping pong table that had been wheeled out of the living room after dinner, neither seeming to mind the soft prick of grass at the underside of their bare feet. Whether the game was proceeding well was difficult to deduce, since both were sporting wide grins and rosy cheeks, courtesy of the glasses in their hands — but judging by the cluster of orange balls around Baekhyun’s feet, you had an inkling that victory would not be his. He didn’t seem to mind yet, laughing gleefully as Jongin swung his racquet too hard and launched a ball over the fence. 

“Not everyone is as good as you when it comes to talking about their feelings, you know,” you said, fixing Chanyeol with a knowing look that was halfway between admiration and resentment. If you only had his courage of expression, perhaps you would’ve put an end to your suffering a while ago. Ripped the band-aid off cleanly instead of peeling away at it, day by day, bit by bit, until it was hanging on by the last of its adhesive. You weren’t sure how much longer your resolve could last, if it would even survive this weekend without snapping under the force of your attraction.

He only shrugged. “You can’t get good without actually doing it.” You pondered his words in the short silence that settled while you both took another sip. He was right, of course, you knew that, but it didn’t make hearing it any easier.

“I think… I’m just scared,” you began slowly. Realising you were about to put his advice into action, Chanyeol turned to you with reassuring and patient eyes, waiting. You took a deep breath, swinging the contents of your bottle back and forth, and continued, “I’m scared that if I do tell him, it’s going to change our relationship and then I’ll lose him completely. At least if I don’t say anything, he’s still my friend, and I get to keep being in his life.”

He regarded you for a moment, brows furrowed thoughtfully, as he decided on his next words. It was no easy feat to try on honesty the way you just did, having so carefully avoided it for your entire life, and he was well aware of it. The slight tremble in your hands was a dead giveaway.

“And I think that’s completely understandable,” he finally said. “There’s always going to be a trade-off, no matter what you choose to do. But I guess you have to weigh up which one means more to you, and if you’re willing to take that risk on the chance that it does work out between you two. I’m only telling you what I think you should do. You’re the one who knows your own feelings the best.”

Another silence fell over the two of you again. Your bottle was nearly empty now, the beer inside already lukewarm from being out of the cooler for too long. Jongin let out a cheer as the ball sailed over his head, landing far behind him on the grass and ignoring Baekhyun’s flagrant attempts at contesting the point. Even under the patio lights, he was still so pretty, cheeks pink and glowy, the shape of his mouth so endearing as it settled into a pout. By now, you were used to the longing, and paid it no mind as it filled your chest with a bittersweet warmth.

“Aren’t you two best friends though?” you asked, the thought suddenly occurring to you. “You’re telling me you don’t know anything about how he feels about… whatever is going on?” The look you gave Chanyeol was suspicious, but he stood strong, resisting your prying eyes.

“I wouldn’t be much of a best friend if I went around blabbing to you about his feelings, would I?” was his response, accompanied by an elusive smile. There was something in his words that lingered in your mind, some important detail you felt as if you had overlooked, but his amused expression gave you nothing to hold onto. “You’re both so clueless,” he chuckled after a beat of your thoughtful silence, downing the rest of his drink.

Baekhyun was skipping over now, having officially lost 18-21 to Jongin, who was heartily celebrating his victory with a series of hoots and giggles. He headed straight for you, hair all messed up from running his hands through it during the game, and a rosy flush to his face, though you weren’t sure if that was from the game or the glass that he had left at the ping pong table. When he wrapped his arms around you and buried his head in your shoulder, you knew that it was probably the latter.

“I lost the game,” he whined, petulant and firm against you. His hair tickled your chin, and you could smell the faint scent of his shampoo from his shower after the beach.

“Are you drunk already?” you asked, trying to mask your breathlessness at his proximity with a few giggles. Baekhyun’s affinity for physical contact was the worst — or best, depending on how you looked at it — when he had alcohol in his system, and it didn’t take much to push him past the borders of sobriety. His ache for touch and affection was most often relieved on you, and you always obliged, gladly and readily letting him take whatever it was he wanted.

The tip of his nose brushed back and forth against your skin as he shook his head. “Just a little, tiny bit,” he said, voice muffled, and you felt the warmth of his breath through your t-shirt.

“Where’s the love for your best friend?” Chanyeol teased, the only one amused at the way Baekhyun had dived straight into your arms without even sparing him a glance. 

The boy in your arms didn’t even falter, only snuggling further into you. “You know it’s because she’s my favourite,” he murmured, lips skimming your collarbone ever so softly as he spoke. The panic onset was instantaneous, and you prayed he was too drunk to pick up on the sudden rapid thundering of your heartbeat inside your chest. You tried to look at Chanyeol for help, but he was setting off across the patio, taking up Jongin on his invitation for a match with the promise that he would wipe the floor with the younger boy.

Baekhyun only hummed contentedly, oblivious to the havoc he was wreaking inside you, tightening his hold around you when you made a half-hearted attempt to wriggle out of his arms. His pink lips set into another rounded pout, brows slightly creased as he pulled back to look at you.

“You know you’re my favourite, right?” he asked, trying to be convincing despite the slight slur to his words. You could only nod, letting a small smile twist the corners of your mouth upwards. Whether he realised or meant what he was saying, you weren’t all that concerned, simply happy to bask in the warmth of his full attention knowing it was probably just nonsensical babble brought on by the drink in his belly. It was so much easier to be close to him when he was like this, hazier, and sure to forget most of what he had said the morning afterwards. It didn’t hurt that you were also starting to feel a little blurrier around the edges, the beer from earlier making its way through your system and leaving behind a pleasant fuzziness that made it all the more tempting to come clean about your feelings. But you weren’t quite there yet, and you had no plans to get to that point tonight.

Seemingly satisfied with your answer, he curled back up into you. With your hands around his back, you could feel the steady rhythm of his heart, the comfortingly even beat of it through his rib cage. It was so easy to imagine this was the way it had always been, and would always be, so easy to slip into the fairytale you often found yourself fabricating when your one-sided longing became too much to contain. It would be so nice if you could live in this moment forever, you thought. But was this small pocket of peace worth risking your entire friendship?

“I wish you’d stop running away from me,” he murmured, or at least that’s what you thought he said. It was a little difficult to concentrate when his lips were grazing your skin again, lightly feathering across your neck as the words shaped his mouth on their way out of it. 

And then you felt it, the unmistakable and deliberate press of his lips against your collarbone, the gentle pressure and the slight moisture on your skin from it searing through you like a lit trail of gasoline. This time, he had to have heard the stilted gasp that escaped your mouth.

He lifted his head slowly to look at you again, searching your face with glassy eyes — for what, you weren’t quite sure. The only things you were sure of right now were the fiery burn in your cheeks, and the deafening pounding of your heart that echoed between your ears. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, though his expression was nowhere near as apologetic as his words would have you believe. If anything, his gaze on you was almost daring, waiting to see how you’d respond, if you’d shrink back into yourself like you always did when he got too close and crossed that invisible boundary you only danced around. If you’d run away from him the way he had just said he wished you wouldn’t. Or if you’d let him push you over too, just this once.

Seeing the hesitation in your face, he slowly extricated from you, retracting his limbs and warmth until they hung limply by his sides again. Scratched the back of his head. Let his eyes wander around the patio and settle on anything except for you. 

“I’m going to see if Kyungsoo needs any help with cleaning up,” he said quietly, not waiting for your response as he headed back into the house. The drink had made his gait unsteady, and you felt him sway against the doorframe as he brushed past you. A chilling unease began to settle in the pit of your stomach as you watched him go, the shape of his back getting smaller and smaller as he was swallowed by the light of the living room. 

Try as you might, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted, and that there was a possibility it had not been in the direction you had hoped for.

Perhaps the second glass of wine had been a little overambitious, you realised, staring up at the ceiling of your shared bedroom. Kyungsoo had been so excited about the 2012 Shiraz he had brought from home, pouring you a full glass with an enthusiasm he didn’t often display. You couldn’t say no, and you didn’t protest when he refilled it a short while later. If he noticed the faster-than-usual speed with which you drained its contents, he did not show it. Whilst alcohol tended to put people to sleep, it had the opposite effect on you, dangling sleep in front of you like a carrot you could never get a hold of easily, or for long. That second glass of wine was the reason you were lying in bed, not soundly asleep like you wished, but keenly aware of every breath and every movement from the other occupant of the room, only an arm’s length away from you.

Baekhyun had spent most of the night with Chanyeol out on the patio, drinking and laughing under the generous light of the moon. Even if he wasn’t purposely avoiding you, you felt his absence from your side sorely. He didn’t say much during the wind down for bed either, only asking if you wanted the curtains fully shut, to which you gave an affirmative. Still, a sliver of moonlight speared through the gap between them, illuminating the room just enough that if you turned your head to the side, you could make out the outline of his body beneath the covers and acquaint yourself with the familiar curve of his nose.

It was only fair that the wine, having taken your sleep, offered something in return to mark an honourable trade. That something manifested itself in the restlessness of your mouth, which battled against the remaining rationality of your mind. Loose-lipped and anxious, you dug your nails into the palm of your hand, willing the war inside your head to approach a ceasefire. You did not want to make a fool of yourself in the intimacy of this small room. 

However, your resolve could not last for long, corroded by the hours spent without his presence, without the familiar warmth of his touch, without his little comments meant only for you as he pointed out something silly or poked fun at Jongin’s whining. Barely above a whisper, you called out his name, letting your voice permeate the darkness. It was loud enough that he’d hear it above the silence, but soft enough that he could ignore it if he so wished, and you’d attribute his ignorance to the deepness of sleep.

There was a second of silence, which he followed with an answering hum and a shuffle of his legs on the mattress. He was awake, and he was waiting for you to speak.

“Are you mad at me?” you asked the ceiling. 

“No, I’m not mad at you,” was his reply, accompanied by a quiet sigh. He was conversing with the ceiling too, just as reluctant to face you.

Your hands twisted the sheets in dissatisfaction. The even tone of his voice indicated truth, but his answer didn’t explain why he had spent the whole night outside without calling for you even once, when he usually couldn’t last half an hour without pressing into your side and tickling your shoulder to grab your attention. 

“Then what?” you probed, cringing at the whiny edge to your voice. 

He was quiet for a while, letting your words hang in the air, that for a moment you thought he wouldn’t speak, that your brief conversation had already come to an end, and you’d be left with unanswered questions as bedside companions for the night. There was another rustling from his side of the room as he settled himself under the covers.

“Sometimes, I think I want too much from you,” he finally said. He was quiet, but you heard every word with the clarity as if they had been projected through a stereo system. “And you can’t give me everything I want, but that’s not your fault. It’s an indication of my own greed and selfishness more than anything else.”

You kicked around at your sheets to signal your unrest at his words. “I don’t think you are greedy or selfish. At all. At least not with me.” If anything, you were the selfish one, wanting all his smiles and touches for yourself, wanting the entire spectrum of his existence to only ever be shown to you. Your generosity only ever came to light when it was in service of him, gladly letting him take your attention, your time, allocating space in your mind for him and him only. 

Baekhyun only laughed a soft and short laugh at your reply, the sound so different from the usual one filled with boisterous joy that you had grown the most used to. You heard him turn over in his bed to face you. In the quiet darkness of the room, the focus of his gaze flooded over you, and the intensity of it was so blinding you didn’t dare to look away from the smoothness of the ceiling, fearing you’d smoulder into ash the moment you locked eyes with him.

“You know that you are a really important person to me. You know that, right?” he asked, eyes searing into you with the force of a thousand suns. “I mean, everyone else is also important because they’re my friends, but you’re different — you are a special person to me. I don’t see you the way I see Chanyeol, or Jongin, or anyone else.” 

His words were still tinged with the slight slur of the beer from out on the patio, but you could feel the delicate care with which they were chosen and spoken. Something was different about tonight. You could taste it in the thick air between the two of you, feel it in the wire-taut tension stretching across the gap between your two twin beds. Your fingers dug into the comforter, willing the turbulence in your chest to subside.

He paused and took a deep breath, as if bracing himself against something devastating. ��I don’t want the same things with them as I do with you.”

You held your breath until you felt the pain of deprivation in your chest.

“But I’ve made peace with the fact that what I want from you, and the way I feel about you, are things I’ll have to carry with me. They’re things I have to bear the weight of alone. I don’t — I would never want you to be uncomfortable, or see me differently.” There was a slight catch in his voice at the end.

You didn’t even know if your lungs were still working while you listened to him speak. There was a surrealness to the night, as if everything had been covered in a blanket of haze and everything that was transpiring was the product of a fever-induced dream, existing on an alternate timeline.

Baekhyun… it didn’t even feel right thinking it.

Baekhyun had feelings for you? And he had convinced himself it was one-sided?

“It’s pretty selfish, isn’t it? Asking you to act like things between us won’t change after everything I just said,” he laughed, but there was little humour in the sound. You finally turned your head to look at him, the wry curve of his mouth catching the moonlight as he gazed at you. He was smiling, the shape of it meant to comfort you, but he could not hide the sadness weaved into the downturn of his eyes. He had always been braver than you, perhaps not in the aspect of riding roller-coasters, but certainly in his ability to be honest and open about his emotions, regardless of whether they were good or bad. 

It was your turn to be brave now, and shed your own fear to meet him where he stood.

“I’ve been seeing you differently for a while now,” you admitted, turning under the sheets to fully face him. You were grateful for the darkness, hoping that it would conceal the heat creeping up your neck and face, painting your cheeks with a hot blush that accompanied the start of your confession. His brows furrowed slightly as he tried to process your words, confusion settling in the crease between them. You held yourself back from reaching out to smooth them over.

“What do you mean?”

“What makes you think you’re the only one who feels this way?” you asked instead, leaving his question unanswered. There was a tremble in your voice as you spoke, and you were sure he heard it above the quiet of your bedroom. It was the closest you could get to telling him without actually telling him about the silent battle that had been raging in your head for the last few months. 

This was it, you thought. He had to know now.

“Am I not?”

The weight of his stare pressed against you, drawing you to him with the tangible pull of gravity. The eyes that roamed your face had replaced their previous confusion with questioning, and a glimmer of something akin to hope. He had never looked more beautiful and devastating than he did right now. You felt the light of dawn breaking over your skin, a promise of something new and good sure to follow. Its warmth simmered within you, staving off the chill of the late summer night with a heat that had you pushing off your covers in a hurried frenzy and rising to sit on the edge of your bed, toes just grazing the floorboards beneath you. Would you still have had the same nerve to face him in the daylight, rough and exposed without the lulling comfort of darkness? Would he still look at you, unpolished and flawed in the clarity of the sun, the same way, with the reverence of man at the sight of an angel? 

Baekhyun mirrored you and sat up on his own bed, slowly, as if not wanting to spook you, fearing you’d run off and retreat back into the confined familiarity of your own head. His knees knocked against yours in the small space between your two mattresses. You jolted at the feeling of his skin on yours, having gone without it for so long that the mere touch was like the first drop of water after emerging from the desert. He made to move away, trying to shuffle across the length of the bed, but stilled at the hand you placed just over his knee, willing him to stay put. Surely, he could feel the beat of your heart thrumming through your fingertips.

It was your turn to be brave now.

Fueled by the second glass of Shiraz and the muted encouragement of darkness, before you could second guess yourself and overthink every possible negative outcome of what you were about to do, you closed your eyes and leant towards him. Slowly, inch by inch, until your journey ended with the soft, tentative press of your lips against his. It was short and chaste, nothing more than a gentle pressure, and you pulled back when you felt his lips part in surprise.

“Does that answer your question?” you whispered, heart in your throat. 

There it was. You had gone and done it. 

His eyes were closed, and in the dim moonlight peeking through the curtain, you could almost make out each of his eyelashes, fluttering dark and soft against the smooth skin of his cheek. For a few seconds, the room was filled only with the sounds of your breathing as you waited for his reaction, for the consequences of your actions and what that meant for your friendship with him. 

Then you heard it — his soft laugh, coloured with appreciative disbelief, and felt the air of it caress your face. The corners of his mouth curved upwards into a small, pleased smile. His eyes blinked open slowly, taking you in with a hunger that had desire curling in the pit of your stomach.

“You are just so…” he began, but you never found out just exactly what you were. He was already pulling you back into him, slotting his mouth against yours like they were always made to fit perfectly together. This time, the kiss was anything but chaste, the sheer force of it enough to scorch your insides down to your bones. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush towards him, and your knees parted around his thighs to adjust to the new position. Your own hands found purchase in the softness of the hair at the nape of his neck, desperate for something to anchor yourself to, in fear that the realisation of this moment would somehow make it slip away.

This was what it felt like to stand unafraid and bare in the light of unbridled wanting, to consume and be consumed by a ravenous appetite with no propensity for satiety. When his hands slipped past the hem of your sleep tank, fingertips grazing across the skin of your lower back, you were sure you could erupt into flames. He swallowed the breathy noise that escaped your lips, tongue brushing against yours as he claimed your mouth with his own. 

This was what it felt like to hold the sun in the palm of your hand.

When you broke apart to catch your breaths, his eyes were bright, lips plump and swollen, chest heaving beneath your hands. Somehow, you had ended up back on his bed, his head against the pillows, hands under your shirt and keeping you close to him with an unforgiving hold. He was gazing up at you with a devotion that made your heart swell even more than it did pulling oxygen back into your lungs.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a really long time,” he admitted, hiding his head into the crook of your shoulder. You felt his abashed smile against your skin and wondered how it could be possible that you had contained all of this, the longing, the yearning, inside you for so long.

“How long?” you asked, hearing the smile in your own voice.

“Since Chanyeol’s birthday, when you wore that brown sweater with the little bow on the back.”

Last year, Chanyeol had gotten everyone together at his place for a nice dinner and wine followed by a binge watch of all the Iron Man movies in one sitting. It was all going according to plan until a quarter of the way into the third one, when he began snoring at his own birthday gathering. The bowl of popcorn was sliding out of his hands and sure to make a buttery mess all over the rug, and that’s when the rest of you decided to turn the television off and call it a night. Sehun and Jongin tasked themselves with getting the birthday boy into bed, and likely collapsed onto it with him immediately after, while Baekhyun had offered you the couch, assuring you he’d be fine with the blankets on the floor. At the time, you hadn’t thought much of it. As chaotic as he could be, Baekhyun was nothing if not kind, and you had been grateful that his kindness had always extended to you over the three years you had known each other.

“But that was more than half a year ago. Why didn’t you say something sooner?” 

His fingers prodded into your sides, eliciting a few choked giggles from you. “I didn’t know how you’d react. You know you’re not the most expressive person on the planet,” he said dryly. “Or the most observant. I literally frenched your collarbone and you’re telling me you didn’t realise I liked you more than as a friend?”

“Okay, well when you put it like that,” you huffed, feeling the vibrations of his laugh through his chest. “But you really didn’t know I had feelings for you? Chanyeol never said anything?”

His movements stilled, leaning back into the pillows so he could lock eyes with you again. “You talk to Chanyeol about me?” he asked, to which you nodded sheepishly. “Since when?”

“Last month, Jongdae’s housewarming. He fished it out of me after dinner,” you sighed, picturing his smug grin under the lights of Jongdae’s fancy new kitchen when you realised that you had slipped up and let him in on your little secret. 

“But I talk to him about you.”

You looked at each other for another beat, realisation breaking over the both of you, before dissolving into another fit of disbelieving giggles. Maybe Park Chanyeol did know how to keep his mouth shut after all.

“So he’s a terrible wingman, is what I’m getting out of this whole thing,” Baekhyun chuckled, rolling you over so you were now lying on your side, face to face with him. He planted a slow, sweet kiss on your lips, taking his time to acquaint himself with the shape and taste of your mouth, and you felt the contentment of his smile against you. “I can’t believe we could have gotten together a month ago. Some best friend he is.”

“Gotten together?” you echoed, one eyebrow raised in feigned dispute, delighting in the way his sweet mouth settled into the pout that you adored.

“You mean to tell me that you don’t want to be with me after your tongue was all up in my mouth?”

You pushed his face away, groaning, “Gross, don’t say it like that.” He, however, had different plans, hooking a calf behind your knees and tugging you back into him, before weaving the other leg in between your own.

“You know you like it,” he murmured into your neck, squeezing his arms around you just in case you’d disappear if he didn’t hold on tight enough. One hand traced absent-minded circles over the grooves of your spine as he breathed you in, warm and familiar against your chest. 

Yes, you thought, you’d risk any and everything for this exact moment. It was worth all the doubt and heartache, all the time spent replaying those moments in your head, unsure of the meaning behind his actions. You could be sure of it now.

“I do,” you agreed, threading your fingers through the softness of his hair. “I probably more than like you,” you added, tilting his face upwards to steal another kiss, giddy and chest swelling with affection. Perhaps you weren’t quite yet ready for that other four letter word, but you had no doubt you would be one day, and soon. He was all too willing to comply, letting his mouth mould against yours with the poise and patience of a saint. 

“I probably more than like you too,” he replied, punctuating his confession with one final kiss to the tip of your nose. It was enough for the serene smile on your face to persist, even past the arrival of sleep.

“I knew it.”

You cracked one eye open, trying to adjust to the light flooding in through the open door to your room. Chanyeol stood at the foot of your bed, grinning from ear to ear with what could only be described as a look of triumph as he took in the scene before him. The boy next to you stirred lightly, digging his face deeper into the pillow, reluctant to leave the realm of the sleeping. Chanyeol was not in the least sympathetic to his friend’s struggles, striding over to the window and pulling back the curtains with a clang. You winced as the full force of the morning sun barged in, and Baekhyun let out a soft noise of displeasure at the intrusion.

“I fucking knew it,” Chanyeol said again, quickly bringing you to your senses as you registered the weight of another body on top of your own. You made to remove yourself from him, fighting the flush creeping up your neck and face, but it was an effort which proved futile as he only tightened the arm around your waist, loath to let you go. 

“Can you be quiet? You’re going to wake the whole house,” you hushed, finally succeeding in untangling your legs from Baekhyun’s, feeling the loss of his warmth immediately.

“They’re already up. I came to call you for breakfast,” Chanyeol replied, the grin seemingly stuck to his face. “Which actually reminds me,” he began, before sticking his head out of the doorway to holler, “You better pay up, Jongin. And you too, Kyungsoo!”

“You bet on us?” came the groggy voice from the pillows behind you.

“What the hell, Chanyeol? I thought you said you didn’t go around blabbing about his feelings!” you exclaimed, indignant.

“To you. I never said anything about telling anyone else,” was his reply, smug and victorious at having outsmarted you.

Kyungsoo appeared in the doorway, donning a flour-covered apron, as if to confirm for himself that he was in fact a debtor to the taller boy. “Even if he didn’t say anything, it wasn’t all that hard to figure out,” he said lightly, surveying the room with curiosity and paying no mind to the shock painted on your face. How had everybody known about your now not-so-secret crush on Baekhyun except for the man himself? “Anyways, I only said that it would be unlikely to happen over this weekend, not that it was impossible. So Jongin is the only loser. Now come for pancakes.” And with that, he headed back towards his bowl of batter on the kitchen counter, chuckling at the sound of Jongin’s complaints against fulfilling his end of the wager.

Baekhyun, having somewhat freed himself from the clutches of sleep, rose to a sitting position and shot a drowsy scowl at his friend. “You’re kind of an asshole, you know that right?”

But even the expletive could not put a damper on Chanyeol’s mood, his smile never slipping. “You two should honestly be thanking me,” he said, to which you also shot him a glare. “Also, I’m happy for you and everything, but can you please keep the PDA to a minimum in front of the rest of us? I will lock you out of the house if you don’t.”

Baekhyun turned to you, the creases of the frown on his face slowly but surely smoothing out as he took you in, cheeks puffy and hair a mess from having just woken up. He had seen you in worse states, and definitely in better states, but none of that seemed to matter as he regarded you with nothing but fondness in his eyes. You were sure that your expression mirrored his, affection spreading throughout your entire body, reaching even the tips of your fingers and toes, at the sight of his tousled bed head, the sleepy droop of his eyes, the sweet pinkness of his lips. 

The sun was yours. There was no feasible way to stop the smile from blooming across your entire face.

“No promises.”

[slutsosweet]

read before following please!! <33

hi hii!! y’all can call me livi or kitty or baby or sweetheart or literally any other pet name; i’m not partial to any in particular. just the affection and praise is enough to make me melt into a lil puddle :’’)

if you are not at least eighteen years of age, please do not follow or interact with me or my posts. i will not engage with any minors and if any minors attempt to engage with me they will be blocked with no hesitation whatsoever.

this is a blog for my hard kinks because my attention-loving self isn’t satisfied unless i can make myself known everywhere lmao. there will be themes on my page that are triggering for some people, including cnc/consensual non-consent/rape play, and ddlg. full disclaimer: i do not support or make excuses for actual rape or pedophilia. anything i post implies prior consent between adults of sound mind and body, full stop. these are just fantasies, just scenes. if you are uncomfortable with them i completely understand and ask you to click away from my blog for your own safety and peace of mind.

i have a few hard limits that, should you bring up during horny talk, i will immediately block you or delete the ask or both:

- incest (even just mentioning my family at all tbh)

- pedophilia

- beastiality

- blackmail

that being said: i am 22 years of age, afab, and use she/her pronouns. in case you haven’t guessed yet, i am extremely subby and obedient. currently i am owned and taken by my boyfriend/dom, and i am a member of a pack. i am not looking for any online play partners; i am only looking for friends and likeminded acquaintances. i don’t mind interacting with and befriending doms online, but do not attempt to make me your sub. i am only comfortable with in person dynamics and that is final.

even so, you can still treat me like a sub, and i may address some doms using titles and respect, but that does not put us in a dynamic with one another.

i am here purely for icky horny thoughts of my own and reblogging stuff that makes my little cunt throb, but i am extremely friendly (and also a tad shy haha) so please don’t be afraid to reach out for literally any reason!!

please stay safe and take care of yourself <33

[breezy141]

Could you please do ig imagine where reader is Pedro’s so and fangirls him online

Like follows and comments on fan pages, posts ridiculous pictures and does silly lives with Pedro

hehehehe ABSOLUTELY!

if you guys have anything you would like to send me do not hesitate to ask !! love you all 🤞

>>>>>

number 1. fan // pedro pascal (masterlist)

pedros_updates

liked by y/n and 1,971,047 others

pedros_updates some recent photos leaked from pedros and y/n vacation in spain! cute! ❤️

view all 721,035 comments

pedropascalnews they are so perfect for each other kinda makes me wanna fly off a bridge 🤞

pascaldaily i don’t think you guys should be posting pictures of them they might not be comfortable with it, ny that i mean when they are on holiday :/

littlemissy/n hehe i love her !

y/n pedro really is the star of the photos tbh :)

y/nisforme she commented and followed ajsuehebrg congrats omfgg❗️❗️

pascalfan yayy! she commented congratulations! ❤️

y/n

liked by pascalispunk and 6,296,018 others.

y/n my favourite boy :)

view all 1,286,017 comments

xx.y/n_offical.xx awhh !

pascalispunk your spanish is extremely terrible but you’re still my favourite girl 🩷

y/nl0ve AAAA obsessed!

loveforyou mom n dad fr 💕

pascalpedro he’s so gorgeous wth

| y/n EXACTLY

pedroeditsSC love love love

y/n

liked by bellaramsey and 7,693,012 others

y/n he a cutie patootie or whateva ☹️

view all 2,017,256 comments

sluttfor.pascal if you two break up i’ll never believe in love again :)

bae_y/n i just know you two have the best memories together.

tired.y/n/n MAKIN ME FEEL SO SINGLE Y/N

bellaramsey bro i miss you both hurry up and hang out with me pls, i found a new arcade we can go to 😎

| y/n actually about to book a ticket home, i miss you :(

thatgirl idk if i wanna be you rn or be with you rn tbh

yup.pascal I AINT AFRAID TO SAY I LOVE THESE HOES

| y/n and tHEIR GLASSES AND THEIR JACKETS AND THEIR HIPSTER CLOTHES. love that song bae

pascalnews

liked by y/n and 8,018,153 others

pascalnews picture creds: @photosbyolïver pedro and y/n found embracing each other outside of a nightclub ❤️

view all 4,253,017 comments

yup.pascal bro they are actually soulmates. confirmed

pascaldaily i love them :/

y/n the support we get from you guys is incredible, i love you all. BUT I AGREE, zaddy.

| pascalfr LMAO ultimate zaddy

| y/n4eva noo we love you more !

>>>>>>INSTA LIVE<<<<<<

pedro laughed as he spun you around the kitchen, you were dancing to a song you both loved, which was also requested by your fans which accompanied you in pedros live. the song, sunday kind of love by etta james, unofficially was your song.

wirh pedros arms still wrapped around you, you leaned towards his phone and read some questions being asked in the comments “what is your pet peeve with one another?” you spoke. pedro pulled away “i love this question” he quickly said.

“what! why?”

“girlll, you know why!” you looked at him with a confused look

“okay so, let me explain. guys when she is on the phone whether that’s like scrolling on instagram or whatever, she’s always zoned out” you giggled knowing what he meant “LIKE she will be talking to me then just stop randomly!” pedro laughed along with you.

“okay okay. lemme say yours okay!” pedro nodded and crossed his arms looking all sassy.

“okay guys, so what this guy does is he will starfish on this bed when he is sleeping. the amount of times he has kicked me!” he let out a mischievous giggle “i don’t mean to!”

“mhmmm” pedro shook his head and looked through the comments once more.

“y/n how many tattoos do you have!!” pedro looked over to you.

“i have like three, i share one with this lady right here” pedro put his hand to his chest “and i have a little dog leash on the inner part of my wrist for my old doggie and then i have one down my spine”

“that one is pretty, it’s my favourite” pedro says with a cute smile “yeah?” he nodded.

[michaelsfavgirl]

‎‧₊˚✧[navigation]✧˚₊‧

˖⁺‧₊˚🎞️✮☎️✮🧸˚₊‧⁺˖ Welcome <3

Blog info, about me, masterlist, my socials, tag system, request rules & and taglist can be found here.

⁎₊✧˚ masterlist tiktok twitter wattpad AO3 ˚✧₊⁎

— If you want to be added to my taglist please comment under this post

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡ Before you continue ⟡˚౨ৎ⋆

✎ᝰ! MDNI + DNI if you're racist, homophobic, sexist/misogynistic, transphobic, ableist, xenophobic, fatphobic etc. Any hate will be blocked/ignored. I will not tolerate any kind of discrimination.

✎ᝰ! English is not my first language, therefore, there may be minor mistakes in my writing.

✎ᝰ! This blog will include nsfw material, such as smutty fanfics or me just thirsting over mike lol. So viewer discretion is advised. If this makes you uncomfortable do not engage with my blog, simply block me and move on. Any negativity will be deleted.

✎ᝰ! Keep in mind that I am a university student so I may not be able to publish fics as frequently as you'd like. Be patient with me pls and thank you. (๑･̑◡･̑๑)

✎ᝰ! To add to that if your request hasn’t been answered it’s not because I’m ignoring it but probably because I have someone else’s (who requested earlier) to post before yours. Again, please be patient.

✎ᝰ! I hope you enjoy your time here! My blog is a safe, judgment-free space for anyone who chooses to visit.

✎ᝰ! I don't give permission for any of my works to be copied, translated or reposted in any kind of way and to any other platform.

✎ᝰ! The support and mdni banners are from @cafekitsune

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡ About me ⟡˚౨ৎ⋆

✎ᝰ! My name is Kate, I'm nineteen, a Taurus and from West Asia.

✎ᝰ! I have been a fan of Michael Jackson since I was a child but I became a part of the fandom around 2019. My man is my no. 1 on Spotify every single year (yup, yup).

✎ᝰ! I actually had a book on wattpad about mike a few years ago and it was HURRENDEOUS, but I promise that my writing abilities have gotten better :)

✎ᝰ! Please feel free to send me anything in my inbox. (questions, requests, or if you want to simply chat anonymously) I would love to make friends on here and chat with my fellow moonwalkers! So don't hesitate. <3

Here are some random facts about me:

✎ᝰ! My hobbies: watching films, feeding into my delusions (writing fics about michael), playing the guitar, skiing, doing my makeup.

✎ᝰ! My top 5 musicians: Michael Jackson (obvi), Madonna, Queen, Nina Simone, Amy Winehouse.

✎ᝰ! My favorite films: Portrait of a lady on fire, Amelie, Mary & Max, The shape of water, The grand Budapest hotel and Knives out.

✎ᝰ! More facts: i LOVE cinema, it is an art form that should be cherished forever, professional procrastinator, reality shifter, fav color is green, big pop culture nerd, a little acoustic (autistic), addicted to watching edits on tiktok.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡ Request rules ⟡˚౨ৎ⋆

✎ᝰ! For now I only write for mj.

✎ᝰ! I will write: smut, fluff, angst, fem!reader, plus-size!reader, most kinks tbh (just ask don't be shy), creampies, dp, somnophilia, ddlg (sexual and non sexual), voyeurism/exhibitionism, watersports, age difference as long as both are of age, threesomes (only mmf).

✎ᝰ! I won't write: male/trans/non-binary!reader, ocs (I only write x reader), hard kinks, knife/gun kink, scat kink, drug consumption, pedophilia, rape, breeding kink, pregnant!reader, pregnancy kink, incest/stepcest, mommy kink, sub!michael, pegging, dom!reader, abuse, degradation kink.

✎ᝰ! Requests are always open unless stated otherwise in my bio.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡ My tag system ⟡˚౨ৎ⋆

✎ᝰ! For answering asks: annie’s calling

✎ᝰ! For my writing: kate's writing

✎ᝰ! For thirst posts: dirty diana

✎ᝰ! For misc. posts: wanna be startin somethin

✎ᝰ! For reblogs: reblog

Last updated: August 15th, 2024

Thank you so much for reading! Have a wonderful day/night. ✶𓏲ּ꩜ .ᐟ

© michaelsfavgirl 2024

[sandrayofsun]

I may be Team Top??

As promised in my last post, I'm making a diary entry for TopMew!

I'll start by saying that I have not been a fan of this couple throughout the show, but I did like their characters separately. Something that I felt a lot throughout the series was the lack of chemistry and awkwardness surrounding TopMew. Mind you, I've watched "A Boss and a Babe," I KNOW ForceBook has chemistry.

In saying that, episode 8 has officially changed my mind on the TopMew train hehe.

Specifically this scene

Mew's revenge era is honestly what made me like him the most... Unpopular opinion maybe, but I found it really relatable that he is doing things he normally doesn't do and becoming someone different. Top did a really shitty thing to him. Despite him being "perfect," being a virgin, having good grades, and being respectful, Top still cheated on him. It opened his eyes to the fact that no matter how "good" he is, people are still capable of doing shitty things to him.

So why not do all the things you've never done in the name of being hurt. No matter who he is, people can hurt him no matter what, might as well go out with a bang.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bathroom scene was interesting because it's the first "civil" conversation they've had since the whole fight blew out. and Top is now seeing the effects of his affair with Boston reflecting on Mew. Even with Mew rubbing Ray in Top's face, he still is only worried about Mew and what is happening to him.

It's honestly slightly refreshing that Top isn't taking the jealousy approach because he knows that at the moment he's lost that right. He can't blame Mew for running to Ray because Top set him on that path.

Top was presented to us as a selfish character, one who is used to getting what he wants, and not having much to work for (a little bit like Boston). Him going to Cheum and voicing his concerns for Mew, even taking a little bit of heat from Cheum (you go girl), shows character development on Top's part, and honestly gives me a little bit of hope for their end game.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to touch on Mew for a sec, and his "relationship" with Ray.

I think it is so intentional the way that they have framed this phrase for Mew and Ray. How Ray is someone that Mew "should" love, but obviously doesn't, because Mew loves Top and knows deep down that Ray will never fulfill that role in his life (the same way Mew can't fulfill that role in Ray's). Even hesitating to kiss him when they are alone is evidence enough that Mew is pretending.

Curving Ray's kiss and saying they should go and have fun is ultimate "get me out of here" behavior. Mew doesn't want Ray. Simple as that.

I also need to call out the fact that the next time we see RayMew kiss is because Mew is trying to prove a point to Top. Only then does he use Ray to make him jealous, but isn't actually willing to do it in private.

Top's face during this whole scene made me sad tbh. I really felt for him, he was manipulated by Boston and thrown under the bus by Nick. Overall, he did a shitty thing, but that doesn't mean he didn't love Mew or want to be a better person for him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This scene called to action the fact that Mew is still jealous over Top. Calling him and Boston out for sitting next to each other and telling them they're free to hook up again was funny but also important to TopMew's relationship.

Top still being there for Mew, helping him when he was throwing up and then sitting next to each other on the floor gave me MAJOR SandRay Episode 1 parallels. But also look at Mew :(

He's asking Top why he has to be an asshole because he still loves him. He is in love with an asshole :((((( and I'd like to point out that this scene was the MOST chemistry that I have seen from these two thus far.

Both of them are hurt, and are hurting for the other. I think deep down, Mew wants to make amends, but also he needs to do this for himself. He needs to spiral a little bit to realize where he is headed. he needs to make Top hurt a little (as sad as that may be).

Top on the other hand is hurt because he did this. He caught feelings, and then messed up the person he loves. He doesn't know how to fix what he broke, but also knows that they are meant to be.

This is what really changed my mind on them. Before it felt like both of them had masks, and didn't really see each other, but now they're both at low points, and seeing each other for the first time. But still loving each other from afar despite the turmoil they're going through.

Top taking care of Mew after everything at the end of the night was so heartwarming. A man who probably has never been one to take care of others, spending what little time with Mew he can get.

I'm really looking forward to seeing where these two go, and huge props to ForceBook for the amazing acting job they're doing!

See you guys next week!!

[iinryer]

long post abt women and fandom. good morning

sorry this is a little bit ramble-y, and I don’t normally post stuff like this but bear with me, i am processing gjfhdhffh

first of all: this is NOT directed at anyone in particular. this is not about anyone or anything anyone has done. this is me, a lesbian, having some dialogue with myself about representation and the way people think and talk and engage with fictional lesbians! this is not a blast on anyone, just general mindfulness, and wanting to work through some of my own hesitation abt things.

im having a difficult time engaging w the grander audience turning the boys into dykes, because i can never be sure where they’re coming from, yknow? like why i was hesitant to post before (it took me over a year to post my butch buddie silhouettes) and why im not sure if i want to post some other for-fun doodling ive done…

bc there Are lesbians on the show. there are specifically Black Lesbians, canonically, on the show

and like. idk. i dont want the things i say or post to be fuel for anyone being weird yknow? My Fake Lesbians Are Not Better Than The Real Lesbians Already On The Show

and i know that, and i know my friends know that but. I don’t have control over how people take the things I make. and i don’t want that to inadvertently make someone get enthusiastic in the wrong way that makes like, for example, black fans of the show, or specifically maybe black lesbians who watch, see an influx in people being 10x more delighted by these white boy reduxes than the real actual lesbians on the show. and yeah, sure, we could say “it’s just because they’re like a shiny new toy!” but we all know that isn’t all of it.

LIKE. MAYBE THIS IS IRRATIONAL. but. idk i have a sizable audience, i get a lot of traction, the things i say and post travel sometimes! people see what i post. people engage with and build off of things that i post. and, historically, this fanbase is Really Fucking Weird About Women And People Of Color

for the most part, playing in this sandbox is just a fun exercise for me, a lesbian. don’t get me wrong, i LOVE blasting characters with my Dyke Laser Beam and making them into women who love women. I’ll do it all day every day. i had soooooo much fun drawing butch buddie. i live for that shit. but! idk! im happy kicking around my own funhouse, but i feel like i need to take all of that into account if i make any of that public. yknow? community responsibility or whatever. i know it’s not on me if someone takes it in a bad direction, but! if i was the one who inadvertently facilitated that! i will feel awful! and tbh, there’s no guarantee that I haven’t done that already!

im just having fun, and you should be too! but this stuff makes me nervous! i don’t have any control over other people, and i just don’t want to be the cause of easily avoidable discomfort for others.

this isn’t some great declaration, and I don’t really have a moral or a call to action, there’s not a real solution in this stream of consciousness post—in the grand scheme of things, this is all make believe and for fun! im just. idk. it feels really important to me to acknowledge that this could spiral in a way that’s actually kind of awful for Real Life Fans who have to see the way other fans engage with and talk about lesbians and black women.

this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while, and it’s been on my mind recently, but with the influx of chatter about it i just felt like it was maybe worth talking about.

anyway. i love u lesbians. im drawing more henren soon <3

[slicznymartwy]

hiiiii i have something really short (i can’t remember if i already posted this tbh since i wrote it a few weeks ago ..)

billy x sorority reader

no actual billy in this one. only implied billy. the notion of billy.

You love your sorority sisters, you love being in a sorority, you love sharing a house with them - all things you have to remind yourself when come home to the sound of sobbing in the living room.

Hesitating by the front door, you glance at the stairs and wonder if it’s possible to get away without being noticed.

Unfortunately, you make the mistake of looking back at the girls and see Clare’s pleading eyes. You sigh, condemned to acting like you don’t know what this is all about.

“What‘s wrong?” you ask, anxiously eyeing the crying girl on the couch.

It was Kathy, if the shrill wailing was any indication; she was in the same year as you, but you were never close to each other. Not that you minded, based on how she was blubbering into Clare’s ear.

“She lost her new camera,” Clare says through a sympathetic pout by Kathy’s side, rubbing her back.

“I didn’t lose it!” Kathy snaps at Clare, before putting her face back into her hands. Glancing at Barb on the other couch, who was shamelessly ignoring the theatrics, you pray to get out of this unscathed.

“Should we look for it?” you offer, despite the fact that you would rather tear your face off than search for the camera. You don’t know how long you can act like you don’t know where it is.

“We already searched the entire house,” Clare says with a little sigh. “The only place we haven’t looked is the attic, but we’re sure no one would take it up there.”

“Definitely not the attic,” you say, as convincingly as you can manage. You’ve never been a great actor, but Kathy and Clare both nod in agreement.

Suddenly, Kathy lets out a frustrated groan, hitting her hands against her thighs. You hadn’t noticed it before when she looked at Clare, but now you can see how her mascara was smudged and running down her cheeks.

You almost feel bad, but only almost. Kathy had a funny way of sapping due sympathy whenever she opened her mouth.

“My parents are going to kill me! Don’t you have any idea how much that thing costs?” Kathy cries. From the couch, Barb sighs and finishes her drink.

“Then you shouldn’t have lost it,” she mumbles, getting up and beelining to the liquor cabinet.

“I didn’t lose it! I put it on my desk before bed, so I wouldn’t forget to take it with me today, but when I woke up, it was gone! Someone stole it!”

You shift in your boots, the wooden floor creaking underneath you.

“Come on, let’s look in your room again,” Clare says sweetly, hooking her arm through Kathy’s.

“I already did!” she insists, but she lets herself get dragged off the couch and up the stairs anyways.

You still feel a little queasy as you shuffle over to the now vacant couch, falling onto it with a heavy sigh and taking up the length of it with your legs. Cracking open an eye, you see Barb take the same position on the opposite couch, careful to keep her glass upright.

“I don’t know why she lets herself get so worked up. It’s just a camera, no need to get hysterical,” Barb complains to the ceiling.

Closing your eyes again, you nuzzle your head into the pillow and nonchalantly say, “You don’t think someone actually stole it, do you?”

Barb scoffs, and you can hear her ice cubes rattle as she sips her drink.

“No way. If losing things were an Olympic sport, she’d be a gold-medalist,” Barb says, unknowingly calming your racing heart. “Seriously, she lost a record player two weeks ago. A record player. Who does that?”

“No way, really?” Laughing, you feel the last of your tension leave your body. Barb hums a mhm, and you decide there’s no harm in letting Billy keep the camera. From the sound of it, she’d probably lose it one way or another.

Now, if only you can grab the rest of her film from her desk. It’s not like she’ll get any use out of them, and Billy’s almost out.

[shesmore-shoebill]

i loveeee disaster/pining!amanda in amangela HOWEVER i pitch you this: disaster/pining!amanda in courtmanda. amanda who shouldnt be surprised that courtney’s very flirty/affectionate but somehow Always Is Suprised when the energy is directed back at her. courtney who sees a blushing/stammering amanda for the first time and is absolutely delighted (and maybe a little bit surprised) that They were the one who caused that reaction

AUGH COURTMANDA MY BELOVED. Excellent timing sending this to me right before we got fed with fantastic Courtmanda in the new FNAF video.

That said: OOOH disaster/pining Amanda in a Courtmanda context. HMM.

Okay, preface: I'm going to say a lot of things here. Again, this is all personal RPF characterization and is not supposed to actually be about the real people. Its about the RPF alternate universe versions I've decided on.

So from what I have in my head, disaster/pining Amanda doesn't look the same as it would for Amangela, because where Angela doesn't usually lean into the kissing/flirting bits with the same level of enthusiasm/isn't the type to initiate them, at least with Amanda, (hence why flirting back would be so jarring). Like you're saying Courtney (and Amanda tbh) is the kind of person to:

1- Flirt incessantly with people for the bit,

and

2- If challenged, would COMMIT to the bit with zero hesitation

and

3- Willing to kiss a friend, no worries.

So in my head, with their existing dynamic it seems less likely for Amanda to be completely caught off guard by just the fact of Courtney flirting/flirting back. (TBH I think its fun to have their dynamic already have an inherent flirtiness to it, that in Courtmanda universes can lead to Confusion or Hijinks. See this post). So to really SELL it I feel like there has to be an extra level to it that turns the existing dynamic on its head. Catches Amanda off guard or some extra flavor to the obliviousness. And I find it VERY fun to have the disaster part of this be Amanda committing harder to flirting if she's panicking about Courtney, because Courtney would commit BACK, and that kind of escalation always opens up fun in stories. AND, at the point where Amanda does get completely flustered/tongue-tied the payoff is that much more significant.

And there's a few fun ways this can go, trope-wise, I think. Courtney dials it up and Amanda was fine about it before (ignoring her feelings) but the ramp up in intensity flipped SOMETHING in her head she can't ignore angmore, and now Courtney is flirting and Amanda is panicking/flirting back with a definite edge of panic and Courtney can. Tell. For angst or more plot, the fact that the affection is already there can cause confusion! Misunderstanding! What's joke flirting and what's real? What's a bit and what isn't? Even if its not a bit for her, is it for them? etc. Plenty of fun ways to take the Courtmanda disaster dual flirting dynamic.

That said, the "already always flirty Courtmanda" is just a personal characterization thing on my part, and this is RPF, none of this is real, so we dont need to do that. If we don't commit to their existing dynamic already being flirty the imagery of a flustered Amanda and deeply pleased Courtney is still SO good. Amanda flirts with everyone and Courtney flirts back and Amanda goes. 😳. Courtney as a fun silly little guy and Amanda as a charismatic force laying on the charm with everyone but Courtney does something back and Amanda loses it a little. Flirts weird. Gets goofy. Little compliments get to her. Something something the rpf extension of Amanda constantly calling Courtney cool or complimenting her style in random places in videos. And Courtney continues to be affectionate because they just ARE affectionate and Amanda (also known affectionate person!) is losing her cool over it way more than she should be. Oh man. I do love this concept actually.

(For angst route- miscomm! misunderstanding! Amanda going "Oh Courtney is like this with everyone, it doesnt mean anything". Courtney taking Amanda's slightly strange reactions as 'oh she doesnt like me doing this/feel this way'. Ah shit I've just swapped the Amangela dynamic).

Anyway. Lots of fun potential here. Love the Courtmanda dynamic. Maybe a fun plot idea regarding S&B filming and Amanda seeing a new side of Courtney that shifts her world a little bit.... 👀 hmm.

[wilhelmsbee]

Okay now I also would like a director's commentary, if you'd be willing to do that!

First of all for the book discussion edit you did which is.....INSANITY ...literally one of the best edits ever ever ever

And also maybe "real funny that things go to hell now that I've found it" because I think it's criminally underrated!!

Also, feel free to pick one of those haha and I might take you up on more some time haha

I am gonna do them both but I'll be doing the second one in a standalone post! Starting with this edit!

because this edit has no lyrics I'm gonna do it like the line of dialogue & the scenes played instead :P

And what do you think the dilemma is?- Starting with the actual scene, Simon is asked the question by the teacher, basically showing that the edit is going to be entirely about Simon's interpretation of the book Kris, which is used as a parallel for wilmon! The text is purple for the teacher, but that's also the colour I use to represent wilmon as a couple so its a little nod to that as well :)

That Malin has grown up with strong Christian ideals, that...- Wilhelm walking through the castle, trying on Erik's old jacket, paralleling Wilhelm's upbringing as a Prince to an extremely religious upbringing. He's been raised in this place, with its long-standing traditions and deep beliefs that permeate into the modern world. He's surrounded by this institution and even though he tries his best to be himself and accept who he is, obviously it has fundamentally carved out his brain in a specific way. The royal upbringing is what made him so afraid of his sexuality, and even when he accepts that there are still parts of him that naturally fall into that safe self-serving mindset.

She has trouble combining with how she really feels.- Wilhelm is left out when August and Erik get to see each other, the etiquette book being forced into his hands, leaving Simon after his mother told him 'no more mistakes.', telling Simon that their kiss was a mistake. He doesn't know how to fit into either box, Prince or Wilhelm. He's in a completely new space and all he's trying to do is be exactly what everyone wants him to be, what he's expected to be. He struggles during the photo-op because he wants to be himself, but he's quickly reminded that he should actually just follow everyone else and fit the mould. This mindset is what makes him leave Simon in E4. He's struggling to find the line between what his upbringing expects of him and what he actually wants, and he can't manage to thread that needle no matter how much he wants to. The one time he figured it out, realising his mistake and backtracking, it didn't change anything. He was forced back into that same box. Despite his best efforts, Wilhelm doesn't know how to balance his title and himself.

Especially about Siv.- The anxious hovering before the kiss in episode 4. He's desperately trying to reassure himself this is okay and that he's allowed to be happy and accept himself even as the Prince. It's all he has, nobody else around him cares like Simon does, and still, he has to hesitate, he's afraid that once he crosses that line he can't go back. I always thought this mirrored the party scene, when Wilhelm looked like he wanted to kiss Simon, but the show cuts before we see (and I don't think they did kiss here tbh). He's so terrified of crossing these barriers he's made in his head, consciously or not, because once he does how will he go back? How could he go back? He doesn't know where to put these feelings, there's no space between his royal upbringing and societal expectations. Both of these scenes feel like a free-fall jump. He's risking everything just to see. To feel something that he's held back from himself, allow himself that experience. Get to know himself.

You wish that Malin could just ignore them,- The outside pressures on Wilhelm rearing their ugly heads. He's a poster-child for Hillerska, especially since Henry confirms that the school board thought Wilhelm would bring more students to the school. The plaque reminding him that he is responsible for the legacy of the school causes him to spiral, because he's a public figure whose name can never be separated from the school but he might be falling for a boy who he can't ever really be with, and he hates it. His mother reminding him that he can't make any more mistakes, that he's the sole heir to the throne and he needs to make the family proud, it just cements this fear. Wilhelm is stuck in this cycle of accept himself/ outside pressure to conform/ accept himself... and it's wearing him down already. He's taking his mother's words and applying them to what he knows she wouldn't like, even though she doesn't know about it. [You] in this scenario is Simon, or at least Wilhelm's interpretation of Simon. He imagines it's irritating watching him go between reaching out and pulling back, how draining it must be for Simon, but he also knows that there's no easy solution to this problem.

I mean, the duties and ideas about God- Again, God in this context is the Royal Family. Wilhelm giving his pre-written speech, Wilhelm giving his pre-planned lie about the tape. These scenes show his duties to the throne. He needs to keep up appearances, come hell or high water. There's a distinct lack of emotion in both scripts (though he does go off-book after Erik's passing, but this isn't a public space, so it makes sense). He is just following exactly what is expected of him, with no real personal attachment, even though both of these things are extremely emotional events. His duty to the Royal Family is to pretend that everything is fine, all the time. To rid himself of his humanity, just be the figurehead he's supposed to be.

It's not just coming from outside, it's her own fault, too.- Wilhelm's admission. It's not just the Royal Court deciding his actions, his every word, thought, and movement. He's accepting blame for himself, too. It's something he's been extremely hesitant to do in the series up until this point, but it was extremely necessary. Wilhelm's acceptance of fault is what helps reform that trust with Simon. It was Wilhelm's own recklessness that almost got him taken out of school, and it was his own naivety that made him believe Simon could trust him post-tape-denial. Yes, there were outside sources, but he wasn't acting as a puppet for the Royal Family, he was making his own decisions as well, and he's acknowledging the hurt that it brought to Simon. A lot of Wilhelm's S2 arc is related to taking responsibility and understanding the pain he's caused, as well as trying to amend it to the best of his ability. Of course, he still messes up, he's a teenager, but he puts in as much effort as he can.

She has been forced to...- I always thought the Queen manipulated Wilhelm by using the dead-brother-card to ensure he didn't confirm the sex tape. He was forced into giving that statement, and I think at this point Simon has begun to realise just how much power and reach Wilhelm's family (more specifically his mother) has over him and his own existence. He's forced to be this perfect son, with no problems, not a hair out of place, and it has shaped him. Even when Wilhelm fights against the manipulation, he knows that it's not going to work, because everyone around him is willing to do whatever it takes to get him to agree. Jan-Olof doesn't care about Wilhelm's upset at the song changing, all he has to do is say 'The Queen Requested It' because he knows that's all Wilhelm needs to hear to back down. His mother knows this, too. Although Wilhelm has free will and makes a lot of bad decisions on his own, his mother's ability to control and manipulate him only makes those bad decisions worse.

Follow those rules.- Wilhelm just wants to be the perfect son, and considering the fact the show starts on a PR disaster, it makes sense that he's doing anything he can to fix that public perception. He won't speak about politics because Royals are supposed to be politically neutral, even though he clearly isn't politically neutral. He tries to thread the needle, which endears Simon but also shows his fear of further repercussions. He's already lost so much after the fight video, so he's on his best behaviour now. Even months later, he still struggles with regulating emotions and suppressing his anxiety, causing him to be mad at himself for not doing enough. Not being the perfect boy who doesn't want to be openly queer and isn't upset that his ex-boyfriend has a new boyfriend. He can't pretend that he feels okay with these rules, but he also can't let himself bend them. The breakdown after the first kiss is the biggest reflection of this. Yes, he kissed Simon back the second time, but once he was reminded that this was real life where others were nearby and there could be public ramifications to being caught like that, suddenly he's desperately spewing out anything that could remotely sound like he's straight. When Simon actually listens and tries to leave, though? That's also bad. He can't break the rules, but he also can't imagine letting this go. The rules he has to follow just trample him and cause more harm than good, and Simon recognises this.

She can't just throw away everything she's ever learned about right and wrong.- Mostly just highlighting the differences between when Wilhelm was kissed by Felice and when he was kissed by Simon. The kiss with Simon felt right, he was surprised but wanted it to continue. The kiss with Felice didn't. He can't throw away everything he's learned about what's right and wrong for him. It kind of was supposed to spin the line on its head. It's not what he's been taught as right and wrong, but what he's learned, from experience.

She discovers that- The therapy session with Boris, the one where Wilhelm realises he actually can be emotionally vulnerable with Simon and tell him how he feels, and let him be informed. He's finally learning that he has some say and control in his life, that it isn't just predetermined because of who he is and what he was born into. There's this change in expression that emphasises his sudden realisation, like his whole world has been spun on its head.

She wants to change her life,- Confronting Simon with his feelings!!! Simon had asked him to just be open and honest, and for once, he actually is. He wants to change, he wants to have control in his life, and he wants to pursue what's actually important to him! Of course, he tells Simon don't charge August because then I can't abdicate BUT he gives him the option to do whatever feels right. He isn't demanding control of a situation which is out of his hands, he's just letting Simon know his options. Also he apologises and is the bigger person about the wrongs he's done, he's changing for the better. His love is making him better.

Because of what she learns through her feelings for Siv.- Wilhelm has grown a lot throughout the course of his relationship with Simon, even when they weren't together a lot of his growth is centred around Simon and wanting to fix their relationship- and by extension himself. Happy, silly wilmon contrasted with more emotional and sad wilmon not only shows how much they've been through together, how much they've faced together, but also just hammers home the depth of their connection. Wilhelm feels safe and vulnerable with Simon, and Simon feels comfortable and happy with Wilhelm. They're always reaching out or touching each other in these scenes, the constant affection between them just emphasises their love and connection which is what this edit is all about.

So it isn't all bad, and we don't know what happens after the book ends.- - More wilmon comforting each other, lots of touching and holding and love. Even when their relationship is in a bad place, there's still that love and care there in every action they do together. Everything they do is an output of their love- even when they're upset and fighting is because they love each other and they're hurt and don't know how to express it. They just want to hold each other together and keep close, and the beauty in that pure expression of love just carries through the scenes so nicely. They're in love your honour!!!

Closing Scene- I chose this scene because it is just such a perfect encapsulation of wilmon to me. The soft, gentle movements and the warm lighting, the comfort and safety they feel... it's also my favourite scene in the whole show but that's just my opinion etc... truly what I want is for wilmon to have a silly little morning after scene that isn't tainted with the agony to come. We don't know what happens after young royals ends, but I imagine it is gonna be that scene every morning because they're in love!!!!! and I do not care what anyone else says!!!

FONT CHOICE

The font I used is I'm DW pica!!! it's the folklore/evermore font, and I think it has storytelling vibes and that kinda links back to the whole It's A Story For English Class thing :P

Also the text changes colour between Simon's voice and Wilhelm's voice because usually (read: if I'm making my edit like a conversation) I'll colour the texts to match who's speaking (or who matches the current lyrics, or who's POV I'm editing from). When I do this, Simon's text is always a yellow-gold and Wilhelm's is always a teal-blue.

COLOURING

The beginning of the edit has a pale pinky-reddy colouring over it, it's quite desaturated and it's supposed to feel quite cold and hopeless. In sadder edits I'll usually use a red/pink/purple or sometimes a blue pallet for colouring, and it'll be very desaturated. However, by the line she discovers that the colouring actually shifts to a warm golden tint (most of the time my gold colourings are modified from the S1E5 opening scene). Basically showing how he's gaining control and hope and life is looking better and happier :)

by the way how I shift colours in edits is literally just having two layers with the different colour overlays and making one go from 0-100% opacity at the same rate as the other goes from 100-0%. It looks pretty smooth imo :3

[saskiavalentineapologist]

sketch time

you will sit down. you will look at my horrible little women. And You Will Appreciate Them

no this is NOT going under a cut you will see the blood sweat and tears i put into belialah's demon form and you will appreciate it, me, and saskia's off the charts world class monsterfucker status

we got saskia. we're familiar with saskia--or at least you should be. go look at the art by korppipoika and give them so many notes--this post will wait. and while you're out, look at the post about the matriarchs too. and if you're not up to date on saskia and belialah, here's another one for your list. i'll be here when you get back.

up to date? excited? horny? me too!!

so we got those two. in order for the images: saskia (recent), belialah (first draft, still happy with this and haven't been able to capture this vision since)

we got their dynamic:

saskia being a bitch and belialah being, despite everything, head over heels. still can't quite nail belialah's human face, but we're learning

...it took me a long time to nail down belialah's demon form. it went through a lot of drafts---many of which i am not sharing. this one is the oldest one i'm willing to share:

i believe this is draft 3? patch notes from earlier drafts: 4 fingers instead of three, took out "humanoid" eyes, added floaty halo bits. other than that, this is what it's mostly stayed true to. chase gave me an inspo and i remixed it and made it worse because i love body horror. so we have this! extra joint between the wrist and elbow, loads and loads of eyes, sharp teeth (yum!), wings, and a broken halo plus the big horn. love her. she has spider legs below her waist--she has "skirts" that are made from her skin that she usually wears (has?) over them.

made some eensy sketches for ideas:

i tinkered on size, proportion, posture, etc. it's vague, but not exact for either of them. i want a bigger height difference and this is for me first and foremost

i settled on this body type for saskia:

no nipples so she's not naked :) this is for anatomy reference, tumblr. ANATOMY. be so nice to me ;-;

ignore the stuff at the edges, this is part of a larger project idk if i'll finish where i look at all the matriarchs and their body types. saskia is the most...well, besides ethalind, the most hourglass shape. this is the most recent drawing of her i have besides the one at the very end, this is the one i would say is most canon. hence why it is included--the last one i have doesn't quite hit right for me. still working on consistency.

as i improved my art, i wanted to take another stab at belialah. which meant figuring out her lower half.

i did these ones reeaaally recently. i looked at so many things for inspo: crabs, spiders, human pelvises, centaur speculative biology, drider speculative biology, an introspective look at how much of a monsterfucker i am, etc. until i found something i was happy with. these are within the last few days. the lil sketches at the far bottom right of the first page are what i settled on. after that, i tinkered with how she looks with skirts vs no skirts---ignore the sword, it's no longer accurate to what it actually looks like, but that's endgame shit and no spoilers :)

i'm really happy with how she's turned out and i think she's kickass and awesome and i can't wait to beat her and saskia into the ground.

and then we have:

team gaslight gatekeep girlboss :)

i drew this last night!! really happy with how my art is coming along. i hesitated on whether to draw the skirts, because i think the spider legs are so fucking cool and i know logically the skirts are there but tbh its funner drawing the spider legs than the skirts :(

i want to make it very clear: belialah is submissive in the way a guard dog is submissive, to quote a post i once tagged as gilt and lost. belialah is loyal, devoted, willing to protect--but will wait for an order before acting

btw, to make something else clear: saskia? saw the demon form first. is more attracted to the demon form than the human form. is far more willing to smash with belialah in demon form. i love my weirdest little freak of a woman <3

ok that's all bye

[phoenixisobsessed]

{*.•YAPPING POST•.*}

For all of my devoted silly little followers who apparently love my yapping ✨ (xoxo love you guys)

Guys I ong woke up to like so many new asks I’m gonna be busy when I’m done with classes for the day. Speaking about asks, I have like two “phantom asks”. Idk what else to call it but I constantly have like two extra in my inbox that don’t exist. Like my inbox says 11 rn but there are actually only 9. It’s been like this for the longest time idfk. Anyway still excited to draw alla your silly little asks ;3.

Also I been thinking about the 18+ stuff, and I been slightly thinking about making a second account for it, but at the same time I feel like two accounts for me is too much to manage for me personally. I might just always make 18+ stuff under the cut in a post with a sfw doodle above the cut so minors who follow me don’t just get it shoved on them, but tbh, my account has never been advertised as for people under 18. Like I think on of the first polls (if not THE first) i made, was literally asking if this account should be freaky and not, and the result turned out to be “a bit of both” but I can see while catformers was going that probably got lost to time. But I’m still hesitant on making a second account because idk. Second accounts have just never been for me, and I don’t really do them. I like to have my blog as just the full experience of me doing whatever tf I want. I mean, from now-on out it’s advertised as mildly 18+, so newer people know at least. That’s gonna be my opinion on it.

Also guys like this week I’m doing some craazy painting things. Context: I like working with acrylics a bit more abstract. My digital and traditional art styles are both wildly different so I kinda wanna show you guys the other stuff I’m making in class. The one I’m doing today actually has some transformers related stuff so I may post both of my works later today HEHE. (My hands are constantly drowning in paint.)

I have (I think) like 5/15 ocs finished btw so like…if you want to request me revealing more, then by all means, go on HUEHEU. For now I just have them as filler if I don’t have any asks that day but it DEFINITELY seems to be a problem I only THOUGHT I would have. You guys are in my inbox like crazy (/positive giggling and kicking my feet I love drawing robots)

That’s my yapping for now. I need to leave lunch and get back to class. See you on the other side, soldiers.

[lepusrufus]

Bestie please tell us that thought process. Yeah I genuinely enjoy your madness

Oh boi okay buckle up besties

So first off Caitlyn and Cassandra’s dogs (Sniper and Revolver respectively) are the same breed, loosely based on dobermans looks-wise, but made for hunting and colder weather. A bit of a reference to how they're a bit more similar than one may believe from a first glance, especially with certain traits like stubbornness or leadership skills. The symbolism is kinda flipped in the dogs though because they do look similar at a first glance, but they have quite different personalities. But it's there. You get my point.

Also they're the dogs from the painting, or at least the same breed/descendants/what have you.

Revolver is actually quite huge even for the breed standard. He's big and scary and extremely well trained, but also a bit of a cuddly couch potato whenever the chance arises. Cassandra will deny any and all accusations of spoiling him, but everyone knows better.

Sniper is younger and restless. He's the kind of dog you simply cannot keep inside for too long and, just like his human, has to get into trouble despite also being quite well trained. Would follow Caitlyn into the woods with 0 hesitation.

Tobias has Shottie (short for Shotgun), who's the oldest and calmest of the bunch. She's based on retriever breeds because I have a hc that he prefers to hunt for waterfowl as opposed to big game like his wife and daughter. She gets pampered by literally everyone. As she should.

If you haven't noticed, they all have very On Theme names because the Kirammans are huge nerds and I take 0 criticism.

Anyway moving on to Vi.

Her dog is based on a Belgian Malinois, but tweak it a little towards hunting. These dogs can basically do parkour what more do I have to say?

(I'm debating going on bc I actually want to write this but tbh chances are everyone will forget abt this post until then lmao) This was a puppy gifted to the Kirammans by a neighbor while they were all on vacation at the Winter Estate. While trying to decide on a name, Cassandra actually suggests Vi being the one to pick, symbolism of Vi being part of the family and included in these rituals of theirs.

She settles on Atlas (name suggested by Finch in a flash of genius. Hey Finch)

[khalaris]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Ooh lots of fun questions, thank you @justhugsplz for tagging me <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

61,430 which is absolutely mind-boggling to me. And of those about 45k are Tatort Wien. Which I started writing exactly one year ago. For comparison, I've been writing fanfic for over 20 years and until I fell into Tatort fandom in 2021 I'd posted less than 3k in total.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Exclusively Tatort Wien at the moment. If I ever manage to peek my head out of that particular rabbit hole, I might get back to some Münster WIPs. Not in the near future, though :D

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Aufgeben -> Der Anruf -> Die Welt in unseren Händen -> Bordsteingespräche -> Loslassen

Haha, Tatort Münster with a little sprinkle of Wien. I don't usually sort by kudos, so it's a bit surprising to see Die Welt in unseren Händen rank so high. Well, high in a range between 75 and 34. That's just how it is in small fandoms :D

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, always. Sometimes it takes a while to get to it. But I always want to take the time and energy to write a proper response, because a) if someone else took the time and energy to tell me how they feel about my story, the least I can do is tell them how much I appreciate them commenting. and b) A comment always feels like the start of a conversation to me. I remember the long comment/discussion threads under fanfic on Livejournal and I miss the community of that. Nowadays it often feels like there's this growing gulf between author and reader, probably because of the current content creator/consumer culture that does little to invite equality or discussion.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Silence, a Torchwood CoE fic about John Frobisher's last moments.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Bordsteingespräche. I'm really proud of how everything came together in the end in that one :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, thankfully never.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

If you'd asked me that a month ago, I would have said no. But recently I kind of got over my terminal embarrassment at even trying to write anything smutty. I haven't posted anything yet, but there's several fics/chapters in the works. Tbh I don't find vanilla sex interesting and most of the usual kinks in fanfic are either squicks or a snooze-fest to me. The stuff that I am writing is either weirdly specific kink or just downright unsexy (which my characters are having a frankly outrageous amount of fun with atm, bless them).

I'm a bit hesitant to put any real smut in a fic that isn't actually primarily about the smut. I fear enough people might be put off by that, so hardly anyone would end up reading it then. Bit of a stupid fear to have, perhaps, but still...

(Yes, I know, I should just get over it and simply write and post whatever the hell I want 😅)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've had a lot of crossover ideas over the years, but the only thing I've ever written was an MCU/Agents of Shield thingie I hacked out during NaNoWriMo a couple of years ago. Let's be honest, that combination is the least crazy crossover of all time and hardly counts as a crossover at all. Like 99% of the stuff I've ever written during NaNo, it's completely horrible, unfinished and should never see the light of day again.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've translated Bordsteingespräche myself, but was very unhappy with the result, which is why it's unavailable at the moment. It's going to get reworked at some point.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Many many years ago, when the world was still young and some of you not yet born 😂, the lovely @hope-calaris and I cooked up a tentative plot for a rather ambitious Star Trek: Voyager fanfic. We didn't end up writing that one, but later co-wrote a CSI: Miami one with someone else iirc and I believe there might have been a 4400 (?) fic, also. Due to depression, my memory of that time is hazy at best, though, so it's possible that I'm missing or misremembering things there.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Didn't expect this question to be so difficult to answer, but is kinda is... 🙈 I guess any combination of my 3 Tatort Wien blorbos. Apart from that, Boerne/Thiel and Stephen Strange/Tony Stark are ships I can always come back to.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The aforementioned MCU/AoS time-travel epic.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, especially banter-y dialogue. And editing sentences/paragraphs for maximum impact (when I take the time to do it)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action. What characters are doing, how they're moving, getting them from A to B and so on. Ugh.

External conflict. I despise conflict in real life and find it extremely difficult to write. You won't find an antagonist in any of my current stories or wips. And when I do write conflict between characters, that's always rooted in their internal conflicts and mostly the result of them not communicating properly.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's very hard to do right. Translations in footnotes are annoying and leave me confused while reading. Translations in brackets behind the dialogue also annoying and missing the point of having different-language dialogue in the first place. It can be good when the author puts enough context there that you can get the gist of what is being said without needing an actual translation.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X-Files. There's probably some 23-year old notebooks in the back of a drawer somewhere at my mom's house that have fanfic snippets mixed with homework assignments.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Oof, that's another difficult one. I have several that are favourites for different reasons.

Bordsteingespräche for the sheer joy and ease with which it was written.

Kaputt for how much of my heart and soul I'm putting into it.

Die Welt in unseren Händen, because after twenty years of trying and failing I am now finally writing an epic long-form multi-chapter fanfic and I have so many plans and ideas for it. I cannot put into words just how wild that is. And I simply adore this version of my favourite characters.

No-pressure tagging @carlomenzinger, @kathastrophen and @all-my-worlds-a-stage if you want to :)

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

"Yeah, but you can't quit!"

"I got yelled at, got my ass kicked, and then gave him my money! You know who lives like that? Hookers."

"Yeah, but he's not that bad a guy! You gotta give him a chance. You don't know him like I do."

"...that's hooker talk."

***

Hey so remember when I said the winner of the GOAT Miguetri Moment poll would get a thing???

WELL I AM A WOMAN OF MY WORD DAMMIT

I realized I've never actually made these two a friendship moodboard and that!!! Will not stand, dammit!!!

Anyways their S1 dynamic was/is so important to me. Cute lil idealist Miguel truly believing Johnny Lawrence can solve all problems and cynical defeatist Demetri who has the only brain cell and is like "hey, this dude shat on my other best friend for something he can't help, embarrassed me for trying to defend him, AND I had to pay him??? At least I don't gotta cash out to Kyler." Dude's got a point, honestly. I'd get hazed out of Cobra Kai SO fast, and my parents would be like "thank god, those lessons were expensive" XD Demetri bby never let anyone shame you for making financially smart decisions that are also good for your mental health!!!

And the subtext of Demetri kinda trying to look out for Miguel and steer him away from idolizing this disaster man who peaked in high school??? Like I think I mentioned this on a previous post, but the way he tries to give Miguel the wake-up call Demetri thinks he needs and encourages him not to bend over backwards for people who (at least from what Demetri's seen!) don't treat him or people in general very well is kind of adorable. Like of course Demetri's being cheeky and smug and sarcastic about it, but he's basically saying that Miguel deserves better than Johnny and should respect/value himself a little more!

And Miguel, my beautiful hopeful babygirl Miguel Diaz <3 <3 <3 Like he believes in Demetri's potential long after Demetri's clearly given up on himself??? And tbh I've never read this scene as Miguel being annoyed Demetri trusts Miguel to protect him from bullies (like that's what you do for your friends lmao. And Miguel would in a heartbeat if he needed to because he's a loyal mf!!!). If anything, he seems worried about what Demetri's gonna do when he's not around and can't scare Kyler off and frustrated that Demetri's just dismissing his own potential that fast. Miguel clearly has 0 issue looking out for Demetri when the cards are down, considering how he talked to Johnny about Kreese punching him and readily sided with him after the Arm Break Incident.

Also something I've already mentioned in other posts, I'm sure, but the fact that a) Demetri completely trusts Miguel to protect him from bullies and implies he would do so with no hesitation and b) they're close enough friends after a few months max that they can comfortably walk with their arms brushing and casually give each other little affectionate platonic touches (most notably this little shoulder slap thing they do) is the cutest fucking thing on earth. This friendship is so slept on. Like every time I think about them I wanna cry because they're so fucking ride or die and they've easily had the most wholesome, loyal, and unproblematic friendship in the entire show and WHY aren't more people talking about them??? Any disagreements they have really ARE in the vein of "ugh you're so wrong never talk to me again for 10 minutes but then I have karate gossip I wanna tell you." I love them so much.

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOR

An argument could also be made that these two have a closer and healthier friendship than Miguel & Eli ever did and I ain't kicking that hornet's nest today but perhaps I will someday :3

"Wanna be my best friend and then judge me" also just. PERFECTLY captures their friendship XD SO much mutual judgment going on in this scene and I am LIVING for it.

Went for a red, blue, green, and white-ish color scheme for this to match their clothes and the bg! Hopefully it came out okay.

As always, pic credits available upon request!