#I was a teenager in the mid 2000s | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

koostattoos · 11 months ago

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➳ There’s Only Me When There’s You || j.jk

~ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

~ Genre: slight enemies to lovers, high school au, fluff, MAJOR angst, first love, young love (Inspired by 2000's film A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks)

~ Summary: Being new was tough. Starting out in a new school and new town without any idea where to go or any friends was tougher. When coming across Jungkook and his friends, school hadn't got any easier. When you get paired with Jungkook for a project your life becomes hell, or was it heaven?

~ Warnings: MAJOR character death, a fight happens, mentions of a hospital, mentions of blood, fluff, fluff, fluff! 190811!jungkook (iykyk), jk’s lowkey an asshole but he’s actually the sweetest, they’re so incredibly adorable i’m sobbing, use of petnames (mostly baby)

~ word count: 15.1k

• currently playing: star by colde

a/n: this is pure fiction. pls don’t discern the characters in the story to them irl! happy reading! 🫶🏼

This past summer your family moved to a new city. Yongsan was small, that’s what you liked about it. But your family wanted to get away from the big bustling city of Seoul. They thought it’d be better for you. Moving was exciting to you. Being in a new place and all. The house they had bought was small, it had two bedrooms, with a bathroom, and a big enough living space for the three of you.

The people in the neighborhood were nice. They welcomed you with fresh food and some plants to plant in the mini greenhouse next to the yard. It was very thoughtful of them. Tomorrow is your first day at your new school. You were going into your senior year. They say it’s supposed to be one of the most exciting times in high school.

After you finish unpacking your things you walk into the living room where your dad was sitting. He was on the phone talking with the moving people to figure out where the rest of your stuff was. And your mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner. You decide to take yourself out of the house and explore the small town you now call home.

Making sure your parents knew where you were, you turn your head around the corner of the kitchen and call for your mom.

“I’m gonna go out and look around town, is that okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Just be careful. Don’t go too far and be back before the sun goes down.” she tells you

Nodding your head, you turn to put your shoes on and make sure you have your phone with you. The air outside was nice. It was still mid-summer but the weather around this time seemed to cool down.

When you walk into the village you meet a lot of nice people. Mrs. Kim was the first person you met. “Hi honey. Are you new around here? I don’t think I’ve ever seen your face around here”. She ran one of the local restaurants.

“No, I’ve actually moved here a few days ago. My family and I live nearby. I just wanted to come in and see what was around here. So, I know somewhat my way around.” you explain to her. She nods her head and gasps as an idea pops up into her head.

“Well, if you ever need anything, please stop by. I’ll be glad to help” she says to you with a sweet smile.

“Thank you, Mrs. Kim. I’ll keep that in mind. Have a good night” you smile at her and walk away to explore more of the village. There wasn’t much to do. There were a few bookstores you had walked past and a few other markets. Deciding to head back home you text your mom that you were on your way. Without looking at where you were going you bumped into a firm chest. When you look up, you’re met with a teenage boy. His hair was a bit of a mess but still maintained. He was actually rather cute.

Before you could say anything, he says, “Are you okay?” you pause for a minute trying to collect your thoughts. He looks blankly at you waiting for you to respond. Finally, after staring at him for what felt like an eternity, you answer him. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m sorry for bumping into you” you bow your head slightly to him as you apologize.

“It’s alright. Are you new around here? I don’t think I’ve seen you before” you respond the same way you answered to Mrs. Kim. You tell him that you had just moved here a few days ago with your family. He nods his head and excuses himself. But not before he introduces himself.

“I’m Jungkook by the way.” He has a faint smile on his lips. You tell him your name. “It’s nice to meet you, Jungkook” he nodded and slowly started to walk away. “It was nice to meet you too” Finally, you both bid goodbye to each other and you make your way back home.

Jungkook and his friends were out tonight. There was a bridge near one of the old farms, no one was allowed near there, yet they all agreed to meet up. Taehyung brought along his girlfriend and her friends. Their other friend Jimin decided to tag along with them.

Jungkook came up late (as usual) and Taehyung walks up and grabs his best friend by the nape of his neck playfully. “Where the hell have you been. We were all waiting for you” he says

“Don’t worry about it, I’m here now, aren’t I?”

Taehyung laughs at him. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Does anyone have the drinks?” Jimin walks up next to them and pulls out a case of Soju from the trunk of his car and places it next to him. Taehyung’s girlfriend, Ara, holds him by his waist and asks Jimin to pass her a drink. Her friend, Sooha, hasn’t taken her eyes off Jungkook since he got there. He walks over to Jimin and grabs a bottle for himself. As he stands next to Jimin, Sooha makes her way to the case and takes one. She ‘tries’ to open the bottle but fails. She pouts her lips and looks up to Jungkook “Can you open this for me Jungkookie”

He looks down at her and grabs the bottle from her hand and opens it for her.

“Who’s jumping first?”

Jimin speaks up “I think you should Kook. Since you were late, you should make up for it” Taking a swig of his drink Jungkook shrugs his shoulders and places his down. He takes off his pants and his black t-shirt. He stands on top of the bridge and flips everyone off.

Then, he jumps backwards into the river full of water. And yells at the top of his lungs

“Fuck all of you!”

With all the noise they were making a farmer flashed a light towards them.

“Hey! Who’s over there! You shouldn’t be here! He yells at them.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Jungkook says under his breath swimming back to where his clothes were.

“Hurry get in the car!” Taehyung urges his girlfriend.

Everyone fled and Jungkook was left to fend for himself.

“Is that you Jeon!” the man says

“Fuck” he runs for his car and speeds off.

The next morning, Jungkook walks out of his room into the living room. His mom was already in the kitchen.

“I heard what you did last night Jungkook” she says with a stern voice

“Why do you always get yourself stuck in these situations! I mean this is the third time already and school has just barely started a couple weeks ago! You are so irresponsible. And you know what ever since you started hanging out with that boy Taehyung, that’s all you’ve been doing is getting in trouble” she yells at him in disappointment.

“You’re hanging out with the wrong crowd here Jungkookie, you need to find new people to hang out with” she shakes her head at him and walks away.

He sits there thinking about what his mother said.

~ You wake up to your alarm blaring in your ear. Today was your first day at your new school. The feeling of anxiety kept you up at night and you barely had any sleep. The clock read 7:00 a.m. When you walk out of your room, you’re hit with the smell of breakfast. Walking into the living room your father is nowhere to be seen. Your mom had told you that he went out to find a job locally.

“So how do you feel about being at a new school?”

Registering her question in your sleepy state you make up a smile and answer her. “I’m nervous, I’ll be fine though” she nods her head at you and goes to make her morning coffee.

Done with breakfast you walk over to your bathroom to clean yourself up. You haven’t bothered with makeup since freshman year. It only made your face feel gunky with the number of products you used to feel pretty.

Your outfit was simple. It was a soft pink cardigan with a white skirt matching it. You tied your hair up into a half ponytail. Leaning down to pick up your backpack from your floor; you make your way to the front door and tell your mom goodbye.

“I love you, I’ll be back soon mom”

“Okay, I love you too honey. Have a good day at school.” she tells you.

The school was only a five-minute walk from your house.

“Yo, check out her sweater,” Jimin says

You were wearing a pastel-colored cardigan with flowers on it. It was a bit beat up because you’ve worn it so many times. But you still liked to wear it.

“Yeah I think I wore it when I was nine” Sooha chuckles

They see you walk past them with a few books in your hand and hardly any idea where to go.

“Um excuse me, do you know where the front office is?” You ask one of them. You hadn’t noticed Jungkook, but he pays attention to you.

Taehyung speaks up and laughs “It’s down that way” he points into a direction. You nod you head at him “Cute sweater” Sooha says sarcastically. Not reading her sarcasm you tell her “Thank you” and make your way over to the office. When you’re out of sight they all begin to laugh. Jungkook with a faint smile painted on his lips.

“Jungkook to the principal's office, Jungkook to the principal's office” is heard over the intercom. Groaning, he makes his way over to the front of the school where he’s needed. He knocks on the door and Mr. Kang holds his hand up and tells him to wait outside as he finishes up talking to another student.

A few minutes pass by and when the student walks out the principle motions his hand for Jungkook to come in. He walks through the door and shuts it.

“So, Mr. Jeon, I’ve heard from your mother you’re causing trouble again? I thought we spoke of this.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything. He sits in silence and only waits for Mr. Kang to continue.

“I also couldn’t help but notice your grades have slipped during last year’s final exam. And ever since school started a few weeks ago you already have such low grades.” Sitting in the chair in front of Mr. Kang’s desk he slouches, shakes his head, and laughs in disbelief.

“Your absences and tardies have affected you severely. You haven’t always been like this Jungkook. I think it’s time for you to seek out new friends and join a new crowd.” Mr. Kang places his hands over his desk and continues.

“From now on, you will stay after school to be tutored and I have asked the clean-up committee if they are able to let you work to help clean up around the school on the days you don’t have tutoring. I expect you to follow my instructions. If not, there will be consequences. Do I make myself clear Mr. Jeon”

Sighing in defeat, he nods.

“Yes, Mr. Kang”

“Good. Now get out of my office and get to class”

When you got to the front office. They gave you your schedule for your classes for this year. When you walk out of the office you bump into someone. You don’t get to catch a glimpse of who the person was as they continued walking and didn’t bother to say sorry. Brushing it off, one of the student aids in the office is instructed to show you around campus.

After the tour was done you walk to the first class of the day. Botany. Plants always caught your interest when you were younger. You always wanted to see the cherry blossom trees. They were looked beautiful no matter what time of the year it was.

As you walk into class all eyes were on you. You slowly make your way to the front and the techer finally notices you.

“Ah, you must be our new student. I’m Mr. Jung. Do you mind introducing yourself?”

“Well, I’m from Seoul, and I’ve moved here only a couple of days ago. I hope you treat me kindly” you say to the class.

When you say your name a certain person’s ears perk up. Jungkook looks to the head of the class and remembers you from the day before. The girl who bumped into him. Next to him he hears his friend, Taehyung, make a comment about you. “She looks” he pauses “Like a loser” he laughs quietly next to Jungkook. He disagrees strongly, but he laughs along with his friend.

When you make your way over to your seat. Taehyung pushes his foot in front of you and you trip and almost land on your knees. If it weren’t for the desks next to you. Your face turns beet red out of embarrassment. The whole class starts to laugh at you. Quietly making your way to your seat, you sit down and take your things out of your backpack.

“Alright everyone quiet down. Let’s start with today’s lesson”

Completely blocking out what the teacher says you only think about when today was going to end.

During lunch you sat by yourself. You had tried talking to some of the kids in your class, but they only said a few words to you before walking away. You shook it off and thought maybe you could find someone to talk to tomorrow. As you take your food out, you don’t notice a group of people walking to the table you’re sitting at. When you look up you see the boy who had tripped you earlier. You also take notice of the boy you bumped into yesterday.

“Oh, hi Jungkook! I didn’t know you went here” you say to him. But the boy in front of him looks confused at him. There was girl next to Jungkook. She gave you a disgusted look as you spoke.

“Kook, you know her?” he points at you. You have a look of confusion on your face as well. What you’re not prepared for was the boy’s response.

“I don’t, I don’t know how she knows my name” he only shrugs. This has you extremely confused.

“Alright weirdo looks like you have no friends. Now I know why” The boy you had yet to know the name of walks away. But before Jungkook could follow his group he looks back at you for a second, then he makes his way.

After school you decide to take a walk into town. You stop by Mrs. Kim’s and hang out there and talk to her. You felt you needed to take on a small job to help boost your family a little bit. So, you bring it up to her. “Mrs. Kim?” you say “Yes, dear”

“I was wondering if you were hiring? I want to help out my family. We're not really doing the best right now and I wanted to see if I could do a small job for you?” you ask hoping she would say yes.

“That’s so sweet of you” she places a hand over her chest

“Of course, I can get you something to do here. Can you start tomorrow after school?” she asks

“Yes!” With that you make your way back home.

~ It was getting close to the end of school. Your plan was to go straight to Mrs. Kim’s place so you could officially start your new job. But, of course, your plan had to be messed up in some way. Because when you make your way to the front of the school to go on your way. You run into Jungkook’s friend group. You try your best to ignore them, but their yelling of your name stopped you in your tracks.

Taehyung walks up to you. He only stands in front of you before he speaks up.

“Look new girl, this is a scary world we live in. But I think it’d be best if you kept your distance from other people. You know, since you’re new and all. Some kids find it a little weird when you know their name when they’ve never spoken to you. Okay?” he says in a mocking tone. Jungkook stands there and watches it all happen. They walk away. But the girl that gave you a look earlier bumps into your shoulder.

“Oops!” she says as she walks over to Jungkook’s side and locks her arm with his. What you don’t notice when you turn back around is that he removes her arm from his and takes a different route from the others.

It’s been almost a week since you started at your new school. You still hadn’t made any progress with making new friends. You didn’t mind though. You liked to keep to yourself anyway. What threw you off still was the way Jungkook had denied that he knew you. And the way he looked at you every time you walked into class.

Everything about him confused you. When you walk into class today, he does the same thing. He looks at you but when you look back at him, he looks away. The boy you had now learned his name was Taehyung only looked at you as if you were some weird creature. You sat down at your desk in the back of the class and waited for class to start. Mr. Jung started the lesson and started to explain what he had planned. “Okay class, today I have a partner project planned” he says.

“You all have to make a presentation and I will provide you with a plant. You must discuss and explain how the operation of a plant affects our environment. This will be due by the end of this month. Any questions?”

Taehyung raises his hand “Yes, Mr. Kim”

“Will we get to pick our partners?” he asks

“I have already assigned partners so; no, you do not get to choose who you work with.”

“Dammit” he says under his breath

I have put your names up on the sheet I put in the front of the room. Please look at it as you make your out at the end of class”

You weren’t too worried about who you’d be partnered with. You just hoped you hadn’t gotten paired with Taehyung or any of his group. When you walk up to the sheet of paper you read your name next to Jeon Jungkook.

Spending the majority of your time at Mrs. Kim’s washing a few dishes here and there. You decide to work on part of your assignment for Mr. Jung’s class. As you took your things out of your bag you heard the beeping sound of someone entering the restaurant.

A drink is placed on your table. You look up to see it was Jungkook.

“Hi” he says quietly

Ignoring him you go back to what you were doing. Sighing, he sits down at your table and puts a hand over your book. Looking up at him with an annoyed look on your face you puff out air from your nose with furrowed brows.

“Do I know you?” you say in a sarcastic voice

He scoffs at you and looks down at the floor. His elbow is resting on the table while the other is laid in his lap. “C’mon now don’t be like that”. He can’t be serious. After acting like he had no clue who you were and letting his friends treat you like trash he wants to act like you’re in the wrong.

Furious, you pick up your things and try to walk out of the restaurant. Before you can make it out of the door you feel a hand tug on your arm. You stop in your tracks, and you hear Jungkook open his mouth to speak. Yet, nothing comes out. Turning around to face him and raise your eyebrows at him, waiting for him to say something.

“Look, I came here so we could work on our project. I got you as my partner and I can’t fail this project.”

Deciding not to be petty you oblige. You shake your head and walk back to the table you were sitting at.

During the middle of working on your project Jungkook speaks up.

“Um, look. You’re smart right? Do you think you can tutor me after school?” he asks out of the blue. You look up at him with a surprised look on your face. Should you really do this? After how he’s treated you? You think for a moment before you reply.

“Okay” you tell him. There’s too much hate in this world. You take the nicer route and agree with him.

He smiles.

“Okay, great. What days are you available?” he asks. You begin to plan out the days you would tutor Jungkook and the days you’d be working with Mrs. Kim. This is more than you thought you’d take on. But if you power through, you would be okay.

You told Jungkook you were available on the weekends and some days of the week. It was Saturday. You told him to meet you at the library at 8:00 a.m. The library opened an hour earlier than that, so you decided to show up a little earlier than planned to catch up on some of your other class assignments.

When you look at the clock again it reads 8:17. He was late. Not having his phone number, you weren’t able to text him. It’s not when you hear the silent panting of someone coming up behind you that you begin to place your things back on the table.

“I’m sorry I’m late. I woke up late and I completely forgot to set an alarm”

You look down to the table and audibly sigh

“It’s okay, let’s just start on this so you don’t have to be here as long as you should be”

Finally caught up with his breath, he closes his mouth and stares at you. He takes his seat next to you and pulls out his textbooks. The book you had placed on the table had some loose papers in it. One of them being something for your eyes only. It fell on the floor, and you hadn’t noticed. Jungkook leans to pick it up. The only word he read at the top of the paper was ‘List’. Realizing what he had in his hand you snatch the paper from his hold.

“What is that” he asks. “It’s a list of things I’d wish to do in my life” he nods his head and looks back down to his paper. “What’s so bad on the list that you grabbed it out of my hand like that?” You clear your throat and answer him. “There’s nothing bad, they’re just some things I’d like to do with the time that I have” Before he can ask what you mean you clap your hands quietly. “Let’s just start studying”

Without pushing any further, he agrees.

The next day at school you walk in and see Jungkook again. He’s standing with his friends by his locker. That same girl that bumped into you is standing next to him. You walk towards them. When you get closer, they’re all laughing at something you didn’t hear. You move your attention to Jungkook. “Jungkook, are we still on for Saturday?” you ask him. He looks around at his friends. They’re laughing at what you just said.

He has a faint smile on his lips. He looks back up at you and says, “You wish”. You’re once again left, confused. You walk away and hear them all laughing again. “Oooh that’s gotta hurt.” Taehyung said. His arm wrapped around his girlfriend he starts laughing into his neck.

~ Jungkook was on a late-night drive. There was a small garden just past the school library. Nobody went there except for old people and sometimes the gardeners to take care of the plants. “What the hell” he sees you make your way over to the entrance of the garden. He rolls his window down and yells out your name.

You turn around scared half to death at the loud voice that just called your name. When you see Jungkook you continue your way over to the garden.

“Hey! Wait!”. The engine of his car is turned off and you hear the slam of his door. He’s running up to you and you’ve slowed down your pace.

“What are you doing out here so late? And why are you by yourself, there’s weird people out at this hour”

“Well, that wouldn’t be a problem because according to your friends I’m placed under that category”

You begin to make your way over to the flowers. There was a magnolia tree with a wooden bench underneath. Taking a seat under the tree some of the flowers fell off the stem and landed on the bench. Jungkook takes his seat next to you and looks up at the sky. Tonight was quiet. The rustling of the wind against the leaves of the tree is soothing.

“Are you ever gonna tell me about that list?”

You turn your head to him “Why would I? And why do you suddenly have any interest in me? What is it to you?”

“I just want to be your friend; I know it’s been tough for you ever since you got her-” you cut him off before he can continue his sentence. “What the hell do you know? I’ve been treated like shit since I got to the school and it’s because of your friends.”

He’s left speechless. His intention was never to make you feel like this. The reason why he acted like that is because his friends acted like that. Jungkook and Taehyung have always been friends. He would always follow Taehyung’s lead. They did everything together. Their friend group only expanded with the added years.

He looks down in shame. Feeling guilty for the way he’s been treating you. You break the silence and switch to another topic.

“That list” you say. This catches his attention as he looks up slowly and waits for you to continue.

“I made it a few years ago. I want to try and fulfill it as much as I can” you smile down at your lap. Thinking about possibly doing the million things you wrote down on that piece of paper. “I want to visit a forest of cherry blossom trees. I’ve always had a fascination with them. They look so pretty, it’s a shame that they only bloom once out of the whole year. They don’t live that long. Just to experience them once would be amazing.”

Jungkook sits and listens. “You’re really into mother nature. Huh?” he says. “It’s really great, how the Earth becomes so beautiful with the plants that surround us.” You smile at that. Looking around at the flowers planted in the grounds of the garden. You could talk endlessly about them.

And you do that night with Jungkook.

Out of nowhere in the comfort of the silence between you two he brings it up again.

“What else is on that list? What’s the first one you have written down?” he asks curiously. You look down at your lap and smile.

“That’s classified information Jeon Jungkook” you look up at him. Laughing and nodding his head he puts his hands up in the air.

“Alright fine, then, what else is on there?”

“Hmm” you think for a second.

“I wanna experience love. The way they put it in movies. I want to experience that love so bad.” you sigh

Jungkook looks at you and listens. “Another thing on that list is to learn how to cook. My mother makes it look so easy” you chuckle.

“Okay what’s one more thing on there” he asks

“I want to get a tattoo”

The list went on and on and he sat there listening to you the whole night.

Jungkook hears rustling in the bushes behind him. He brushes it off and looks at you as you speak about your passion for nature.

Today was Jungkook’s birthday. It was also Saturday. You scheduled today to help tutor him. When he walks up to your front gate, he knocks on it and waits for someone to open it. Not expecting your father to open it, he gives Jungkook a glare.

“What do you want and what are you doing here?” he says in a low voice. He’s heard a few words about the Jeon boy. The boy was a troublemaker. He didn’t do good in school, and he had nothing going for him except for being popular. Your father was skeptical, but when he hears you walk up to the gate, he settles down a bit, guard still put up high.

“Dad, it’s okay. I invited him over; I told him I’d help him with his studies.”

He looks over at you with confusion written all over his face. “Why are you doing that sweetheart? This boy is bad news” he points his finger at Jungkook, and he rolls his eyes.

“Because Dad, there’s too much hate going around in this world. I think giving him a second chance is greater than having no chances at all.” you kiss him on the cheeks and only slightly agrees with you. You walk back to the house and wait for Jungkook to walk in.

But your father stops him in his tracks. “Listen, if you try or do anything stupid with her, I’m kicking your ass. You understand?” Jungkook looks up at him and nods. He makes his way over to you quickly trying to ignore your father’s stare.

~ When he enters your house, it’s filled with plants everywhere. A few boxes are left to be unpacked but the house is mostly filled. Entering your room, you have flowers decorating the walls of your room. Your window is open and looks out to a tiny garden in your backyard.

The books spread around your floor are open to different pages about math. Jungkook had been struggling in it and considering your already high grade in calculus he should be in good hands.

“I heard around school that it’s your birthday today. I stopped by Mrs. Kim’s and got you this.” You walk over to your kitchen and pull out a plastic bag. It was a bowl of miyeokguk. The seaweed soup that your mother cooks for you for your birthday every year. He looks up at you and smiles.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Well it is your birthday. Everybody deserves something on their special day” you say cheerfully.

Sighing you look down at the books on your floor and say, “Let’s get started shall we?”

“You’ll never believe what I saw the other night” Sooha says. She pulls out her phone to show everyone what she was talking about. It was a picture of you and Jungkook sitting at the garden talking. “What the hell is he doing sitting and talking with her?” Taehyung laughs. “Yeah, I thought JK didn’t know her” Jimin says.

“Yeah well looks like their best friends” Sooha pauses.

“I have an idea” Ara says with a smirk on her face.

“Come inside”

She takes them to her room and opens her laptop. She pulls up an old picture of you from your old school. She had to do some digging to find it. The picture was of you at a dance. You had your makeup and hair done. And you were wearing a long silky blue dress. Ara clicks on it and begins planning out her idea. She crops your body out of the picture and pastes it onto a picture with a bed with red satin sheets on it.

“This is gonna be so good” she chuckles

~ Sitting in the library, you have a book in your hand about cherry blossom trees. It explains so much about things you hadn’t known about them, and your head is so deep into the book you don’t realize Jungkook pulling out a chair next to you. You look up to see him looking at you.

“What are you reading?” You pull the book up close to his face so he can read it. “Ahh, the encyclopedia of the cherry blossom tree. Have you read anything more interesting about it?”

“I read that they symbolize the beauty of both life and death. Spring is when they bloom and it’s the start of a new life. This is what I love so much about them, they have such beautiful meanings to them”

“Hmm, that is really interesting” Jungkook says.

You put your book down and furrow your brows at him. “What do you want Jeon, were in public you know? Someone can see you sitting here.” He scoffs and shakes his head. “Is it so hard to believe that I want to be friends with you? Maybe even something more, possibly? Why do you think I’ve spent so much time with you lately?” he raises his eyebrows at you this time. Trying to read your expression. You stare into his eyes and try to process the words that just came out of his mouth.

After pausing, Jungkook leans in. His face close to yours, lips almost touching. His forehead leans against yours and he smiles. Jungkook closes his eyes and places a hand over your cheek. “I’ll see you after school tomorrow, okay?” he says under his breath.

Taking a deep breath, you nod your head.

During lunch the next day, you walked out of class to make your way to the roof of the school, where you always hung out, but you see Sooha from the corner of your eye. She walks up to you and places a hand on your arm.

She calls out your name. “Hey, look. I need your help with something. Could you follow me to the courtyard please?” she asks in a soft tone.

“Sure, but what for?”

“Ugh enough with the questions already! Just follow me, it’ll be super quick.”

“Um okay”

As you make your way down the halls and to the exit of the building, you walk down the steps into the courtyard space where everyone was. When you get there, it becomes silent. All eyes are on you. Then, Jimin bursts out laughing. Taehyung is clutching his stomach because of how hard he’s laughing. Everyone has their phone in their hand, and they all point at it. “Oh?” Sooha says. She picks up Ara’s phone and shows it to you.

“Is this you?” When you look at the phone, it’s a picture of you. It’s the picture from your junior year at your dance. Your body was laid on a red bed. Your clothes were edited to make it seem like you weren’t wearing anything. The text above the picture said ‘___ The Slut?’

You feel a burning sensation behind your eyes. Your vision starts to become blurry. With everyone laughing at you; you turn around too embarrassed to be in front of anyone. But when you try to make it to the exit of the courtyard you bump into someone. You look up and you see Jungkook. “Hey, what’s wrong” he moves your hair out of your face and holds you cups your cheeks. He wipes your tears with his thumb.

You hold on to his wrist and push him away. You run out, wishing the ground would swallow you whole.

“Wait!” Jungkook yells after you. He turned around to see what had happened while he was gone.

“What the hell did you do Sooha” he says furiously. He clenches his jaw and balls his hands up into a fist. Taehyung makes his way over to him with his arms crossed over his chest.

“What JK? It was just a little bit of fun, what the fuck is wrong with you. You haven’t been hanging out with your real friends. You’re always spending time with the slut” he laughs.

The amount of hate Jungkook feels in his blood right now is too much to handle. He’s never felt this angry towards someone. He rushes toward Taehyung and punches him on the cheek.

“Jungkook!” Ara screams at him. Jungkook repeatedly hits him until he’s physically tired. Jimin reaches Jungkook’s shirt and pulls him away. “Enough man. He’s bleeding all over the place! Calm the fuck down!” It’s Jimin’s turn to yell, but he doesn’t care. All he cares about right now is finding you.

He rushes his way out of the courtyard and runs in the direction he saw you walk away in.

Finally spotting you in the front of the school he runs after you.

“Hey!” he calls your name softly. After catching up to you he places his hands on your cheeks again.

“What did they do? Huh? I swear to God, I’ll fucking hurt them even more if you tell me what’s wrong” Tears are streaming down your face. Seeing you cry makes him feel an ache in his chest. Jungkook tries his best to wipe them away. When you see his knuckles, they’re covered in blood. “Are you okay?” you ask him.

“Baby, I’m fine. It’s you that I’m worried about right now.”

You turn in his hold, but he refuses to let you walk away from him. He holds you by your arms and makes you look into his eyes. He quietly says your name. “Tell me what happened” he says in a low voice. You look up at him and completely break down.

He pulls you in closer to his chest and wraps his arms around you gently. “They embarrassed me. So bad, I can’t do this right now.” you cry into his neck. He kisses the crown of your head and then your forehead. “I’m here, baby.” he says to you. Stroking the back of your head as you weep in his arms.

Jungkook drove you home that day. After he parked in front of your house, he walked you to the front gate. Walking side by side you turn to face him. “Thank you for today, Jungkook. I don’t know how I’d repay you” you tell him. He looks down at you and smiles. “You don’t need to repay me, as long as you’re okay then I’m okay. Alright?”

Nodding your head up at him you realize just how close your faces are. He looks down to your lips and back up to your eyes. His head leaning in slowly, hands placed lightly on your hips. Then, the buzzer of the gate opens and reveals your father.

Standing, patiently he waited for you to come back inside the house. “Say goodnight to Mr. Jeon, sweetheart” he tells you. You look back to Jungkook and place a gentle hand on his cheek. “Goodnight” you say sweetly to him. He smiles down at you and says the same thing. After watching you walk through the doors of your house Jungkook looks at your dad. “Goodnight, sir.” He walks away and gets into his car.

Later that night your phone starts to buzz with an incoming call. Picking up the phone you read the name. ‘Jungkook’ pops up on the screen and you slide the answer button. “Hey, what are you doing up so late?” you ask him with a tired voice. “I could ask you the same thing; I wasn’t sure if you’d even answer.” His heartbeat picks up at the thought of you in bed with drowsy eyes and cute pajamas on. “I just wanted to check in to see how you were doing” you chuckled at him. Butterflies erupt in your stomach thinking about him caring this much about you.

“I’m doing just fine Jungkook, stop worrying so much. How’s your hand?” you say. You couldn’t help but think about what happened after you left the courtyard. Did he fight someone?

“It’s been better”

“What happened back there? Did you punch someone?” You ask, curious to know what had gone on. He sighs over the phone. He takes a deep breath before answering you. “Look, don’t worry about it alright? Knowing that your fine is enough for right now.”

He looks up at the clock on his dresser and reads the time. It’s getting late and he feels bad for keeping you up at such an hour. “You should head to bed, it’s getting late.” Nodding your head, you agree with him. “You’re right, goodnight Jungkook.”

“Before you go” he says and takes a moment to collect his thoughts and come up with something to say.

“Um do you wanna, maybe, go out with me tomorrow?” He waits for you to answer.

“I don’t think I can.” you tell him. His mood completely drops. His shoulders deflate as he tries to think of what to say next.

“Oh”

It’s silent for a moment.

“Do you have something already planned for tomorrow or” he stops

“I can’t date” you say softly, smiling even though he can’t see you.

“I see” he says lost in thought.

“Uh, you better get to sleep. I'm sorry for keeping you up”

You laugh lightly. “Goodnight, Jungkook” you say for the last time.

“Goodnight, sweetheart”

~ Jungkook has tried his hardest to build up the courage to talk to your parents and get their blessing. He’s been spending a lot more time with you lately. Meeting you after school and walking to the garden together. Jungkook also, hasn’t built up the courage to confess how he feels about you.

It’s driving him absolutely insane. But there was no way you hadn’t noticed it by now. He was so obvious. He always called you by petnames or he was always being touchy with you.

One of the days he spent with you in the garden he brought a blanket and some food. Walking over to your usual meet up spot he sees you already sitting on the bench. Looking up at the leaves as they slowly fall. It was nearing the end of summer and fall was beginning to show itself.

He couldn’t help but look at the way you sat there. Looking so effortlessly beautiful, you took his breath away. Walking up to you, you look up to see him with a bag and a basket clad in his hands. Your face lights up at the sight of him.

Jungkook made you feel things you’ve never felt before, almost like you were sitting by a fireplace on a warm winter night, or cuddling in your blanket when the weather is rainy and gloomy outside. When he enters a room, your whole world completely lights up.

The same goes for him. He can’t stop thinking about you whether it’s day or night. It’s every hour of the day that you occupy his mind. He’s so deeply infatuated with you it almost makes him sick with love.

“Hi, baby,” he says. The petname makes your heart stop beating for a minute. You smile up at him and greet him back. “Hi,” you say with a sweet voice. He bends down to kiss your forehead and places the things down on the floor.

Sneaking around behind your parents’ backs didn’t feel good but risking it all for him was worth it. “I brought a blanket and some food for us.” You giggle at his thoughtfulness. “Hmm, is today a special day or what?” you ask him. Feeling giddy as ever. “Nothing special, just felt like doing it” he shrugs his shoulders as he sets everything up.

Moving down to the blanket laid over the grass you straighten out your white skirt and sit down. He sets the basket up next. Laying the food out for you, when he’s done, he moves to sit behind you and moves you, so you’re settled between his legs. Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist, kisses your temple, and simply breathes in the air around you.

Sinking into his touch, you feel like you’re on clouds. The feeling he sets in you is magical. You so badly want to lay your lips on his soft ones, the thought of it makes your heart do flips. Jungkook could easily be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

Today was the day. The day that Jeon Jungkook finally found the courage to ask your parents for their blessing. He's scared shitless of what their answer could be. He’s praying that he gets a positive answer from them so he can finally give you something that you deserve. Taking a deep breath, he reaches the front of your gate once again.

You were out today; you had told him you wanted to explore more of the town and spend some time with Mrs. Kim. He found this the perfect opportunity to come to your house and ask what he’s been dying to ask. He knocks on the gate to get your father’s attention. When the gate opens he’s met with your father and mother.

Eyes flickering up and down at the boy. His heart is racing. Remembering what he was here for, he clears his throat and says, “Mr. and Mrs. __, I’d like to ask your permission to take your daughter out. I know she’s not allowed to date. But she deserves to be treated with the utmost respect and shown the love that she’s always desired for” he waits patiently for their response.

They turn their heads to each other and close the gate. A strong rush of dissapointment washes over him as he starts to make his way back to his car. Heartbeat picking up he hears the rustling of the gate reopening and he hears your father yell for his name. “Mr. Jeon.”

Jungkook turns his body so he’s facing your parents. “Yes, sir,” he says in a strong voice. “We will let you take our daughter out, only if you promise us you will never hurt her. And promise her you will fulfill her needs.” Elated, is what Jungkook feels. He feels like he’s on top of the world right now. A smile appears on his lips and falls to his knees and bows down to them. Not caring that his clothes are getting dirty.

“I promise you both, I will take care of her.” he says.

It’s the next day, you sat in Jungkook’s car still in disbelief that he got your parent’s blessing. “I can’t believe you did that for me” you look over at him with a fond smile. He places his hand over yours and brings it to his lips. “Baby, you don’t understand how long it took me to bring myself to them. I practically begged them.” he chuckles. He pulled a bag out from behind your seat.

"What is it?"

"Open it up and see" he smiles

When you open the bag you see a pastel blue cardigan with butterflies and flowers decorating the hem of it.

"Oh, Jungkook you didn't have to"

"But I wanted to. I saw it and thought it'd look pretty on you" too shy to look at you he looks down at his lap and played with his hands

He planned out the perfect day for you. He couldn’t wait to spend it with you.

Getting out of the car Jungkook made reservations for a restaurant that was way out of his budget. He had a little help from his mom and made sure to pay her back every cent. He holds your hand in his and guides you to your table. Pulling your chair out, he takes his own seat and scans over the menu.

“Anything catch your eye? Order whatever you want” he tells you.

Lips curling at the corners of your mouth you read through the different selections.

~ Dinner was amazing. The waiter came to pick up your plates and Jungkook took you to an empty parking lot. “What are we doing?” Looking around and see no one in sight. “You said you wanted a tattoo, right?” From the front compartment of his car, he pulls out the fake tattoos you used to use when you were little. From the corner of his eye, he sees the biggest smile grow on your face.

“Which one do you want?” scanning through the different types of tattoos.

“Pick one for me” you tell him.

He picked a cherry. Looking up at you he sees stars twinkle in your eyes as you look at him. “Where do you want it?” You pull down the neck of your sweater and show a bit of your chest. Right above your heart. Jungkook tears the tattoo out and gets a towel that was lying in his car and a water bottle. He dabs it over the tattoo where he placed it on over your heart. Pulling the paper back the print of the cherry is laying on your skin.

He rubs his finger over it gently and looks at you. Averting your gaze, you start to feel nervous. Only Jungkook can make you feel like this.

~ Jungkook wouldn’t tell you your next destination. He told you it would be quite a drive. So, you laid your head back and took a small nap. Jungkook placed his hand over your thigh and drove you to wherever he was taking you.

It wasn’t until you opened your eyes; you saw a big white arch away. It was surrounded by cherry blossom trees. Jungkook looks over at your face. Smiling the biggest smile, you unbuckle your seatbelt and open the car door. Running up to the entrance you jump up and down giggling.

Jungkook walking slowly with his hands in his pocket he watches you.

“Oh my God! Oh my God! There’s so pretty!” you almost feel tears start to build up in your eyes. You can’t believe Jungkook drove all this way. He walks up next to you and tangles his hand in yours. “You wanna go see it?” he says, lips turned up into a smile. Nodding your head eagerly, you practically drag him over.

Slowing down your pace you look around at the beautiful trees. The white and pinkish leaves fall into your hair. There’s a bridge that you stop at. In the middle of it, Jungkook places a hand on your cheek and turns your attention to him. You look up at him with those eyes. Eyes that he absolutely adores. He says your name softly and pulls you closer to you. “Do you like it? I tried so hard looking for them.” he tells you.

“Jungkook, this is like, a dream come true. I can’t believe you did this, thank you so much.” You pull him in for a hug and dig your face into his neck. His hold around you tight as he closes his eyes and soaks in the moment.

When you pull away your faces are close, lips to point they’re basically touching. He cups your cheeks with his hand and says, “I need to tell you something” you hum in response. He takes a deep breath in and finally spits out what he’s been holding in for a while.

“I love you” your heart stops.

You look into his eyes and scan his face. Looking at the little mole under his lip. And the scar that grazes his upper cheek.

“Can I kiss you?” you ask him

He only nods and slowly pulls your face closer to his. Noses brushing softly against each other. Your lips graze each other softly. Then, he slots them together. Connecting them. You feel a rush of blood go to your head. Your cheeks are warm and flushed with red. The sounds around you are the streaming water beneath your feet, the rustling wind against the leaves. And birds chirping in the trees.

The leaves are falling on top of you. This moment couldn’t be any more perfect.

On the drive home Jungkook held your hand the whole way there. Music played softly in the background and the windows rolled down to let in a gentle breeze.

When you arrive at the gate of your house, he parks his car in the same spot that he does every time he visits. Walking up to the front your hand is warm in his. You stop and turn to him. “So, what does that make us?” you ask smiling up at him.

“Well, I thought it was kinda obvious. You just want me to say it, huh?” He laughs at you. Nodding your head, you wait for him to say what you want to hear. “That makes you my girlfriend” he wraps his arms around your neck and gives your nose a little peck. You scrunch up your nose smile. You’ve been smiling the whole day your face is starting to hurt.

“Then you’re my boyfriend” you giggle. He leans in and places his lips on yours. He smiles into the kiss, and you can feel it against your lips. The gate opens and reveals your father. Who has been waiting for you to come home. “Oh, hi dad” you say. “Honey, why don’t you come inside. It’s getting late and it’s cold” You sigh and turn back to Jungkook.

“Bye” you place a peck on his lips. “Goodnight, baby.” he says and looks up at your father and walks back to his car. Once you’re on the other side of the gate your dad stops you for a moment. “Have you told him?” Smile dropping you look down to the floor.

“Not yet”

“Don’t make this harder for him or for yourself sweetheart”

“I love him dad and he love me. I’ll get there eventually”

~ At school, you’re walking hand in hand with your boyfriend. Walking past his (ex) friends, they all have their eyes on you. Sooha has an irritated look on her face. But walking past them made you feel more confident in yourself. Being with Jungkook like this made you confident.

Walking into the library you and Jungkook take a seat by the window and just sit in comfortable silence. Your legs are over his on the small couch and you’re reading your books about cherry blossoms again. That day that he took you to see the cherry blossoms, he had kept a pedal that fell from the tree and kept it in a glass container. It’s a day he’ll never forget. It’s the day he got to tell his lover that he loved her and made her his. He’s so eternally grateful to whatever god that sent you to him.

He was on his phone when he suddenly broke the silence.

“Baby?” He calls for your attention.

You hum in response, and he continues. “You wanna come over after school today? My mom said she wanted to meet you. You don’t have to if you're not ready or comfortable yet though. I was just suggesting” he says it as the words spill out of his mouth faster than you can comprehend.

You laugh at his cuteness. Thinking over about how meeting his mom would go. It would be lovely if you got to meet the person that made Jungkook the person he is today.

“Yeah, sure. That’d be great. Just tell me what time and I’ll be there.” you say softly. A wave of relief washes over him. He was worried you’d be too scared to reject him. “Alright” he pauses for a moment. “Okay, I’ll pick you up at six then?” Your lips curl up, delighted to finally meet his family. You nod your head in response and continue with your book.

Jungkook places his hand over your thigh and looks down at his phone again.

~ Looking at yourself in the mirror, you fix your hair one last time and touch up your makeup. You wanted to make yourself presentable in front of Jungkook’s mom. It’s not that you were scared of meeting her, you scared of what she might think of you. Straighten out your dress one last time your thoughts are broken by the doorbell ringing.

When you leave your room you see your mom answer the door. “Oh hi, Jungkook are you here to pick up ___?” Letting him in he walks past her and waits by the door for you. “Yeah, we're going back to my place. We're just gonna eat dinner there.” He explains. “Ah okay, well have fun. I’ll go grab her and tell her you’re here” she says. Before she can move, you emerge from the corner of your room and Jungkook sets his eyes on you. He smiles at you and pulls you in by your waist to hug you. “Hi, baby,” he says, feeling giddy at the thought of you. Telling your mom goodnight and that you’ll be back soon; Jungkook guides you with a hand on your back towards his car. He opens the door for you like the gentleman he is and walks around the car to get into the driver’s seat.

When you stop at a red light the silence between you two is broken by him. “How are you feeling?” he asks you. To be completely honest you were scared shitless. Afraid of what she might think of you. Afraid that she thinks you’re not enough for her son. Afraid that you’ll give off the wrong impression. Jungkook cuts off your thoughts by placing a kiss on your wrist.

“Baby?”

Coming back to reality you giggle softly. “Sorry, um.” You take a moment to collect your thoughts. “To be honest with you. I’m terrified.” You speak about your insecurities. Thinking about meeting his mother. You know you fully agreed to this earlier. But the drive to his house has become surreal to you now.

“She’ll love you I promise. But no matter what, if she doesn’t like you; know that I love you okay? Never forget that.” Calming your mind down, you nod your head and settle in silence for the rest of the car ride.

Jungkook walks around the car again to open your door. You thank him and look at his house. It wasn’t too big, but it wasn’t too small. It was the perfect size. Walking up to the front door, he unlocks it, and your heart picks up once again. You walk through the door and investigate the living room.

His little brother is sitting on the couch watching TV. His youngest sister was sitting on the floor watching whatever her brother was. Jungkook was the eldest out of the three. His siblings being much younger. You walk into the living room and Jungkook yells out to his siblings. “Guys, turn off the TV for a minute. I want you to meet someone.”

They both turn to look at you and you smile down at them. “This is my girlfriend, ___. This is Jungwoo and Jungha.” Cute. All of their names start the same way, you think. Jungha walks up to you. She seems to only be around four years-old and Jungwoo looks to be about seven. “It’s nice to meet you both” you softly smile at them.

Jungha tugs on your sleeve and looks up at you. “Are you a princess?” she asks. Your heart melts at the sweet little voice. “She’s not a princess! She’s not wearing a crown!” Jungwoo exclaims from where he sat. You giggle at them, and then you hear footsteps come up from behind you.

Turning around you see Jungkook’s mother. You’re a nervous wreck when you first see her face. You politely bow to her and greet her.

“It’s nice to finally meet you Mrs. Jeon”

“Oh, honey please stand up.” She motions for you to stand straight

“No need for formalities, I hope you’re hungry. I made a lot of food tonight!” She smiles at you and walks back to the kitchen.

Okay, this isn’t going as badly as you thought it’d go. You walk back to the living room with Jungkook to chat some more with his siblings. You sit down on the floor and Jungkook sits behind you on the couch. “So, Jungha. How old are you?” you ask the little girl.

She looks up from her toys and holds up four fingers in front of your face “I’m four!” Her small voice makes your chest ache from how cute she is. She goes back to her dolls and plays with them again. You turn your attention to Jungwoo and start a conversation with him.

“What about you Jungwoo?” you ask him. “I turned eight last month” You were only off by a year. This time he asks you a question. “Why are you with my brother? He’s annoying and he never lets me in his room” he pouts with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Well, I think Jungkook is amazing. You should cut him some slack. I’m sure he’s a great brother!” you tell him. Jungkook leans down and kisses the crown of your head as he looks at the TV. Your arms are laid in your lap and his are wrapped around your neck.

“Yeah, cut me some slack. I try my best!” he says to his younger brother.

“I guess” Jungwoo rolls his eyes. You laugh at him and advert your eyes to the youngest one in the room again. She looks up at you and places a doll in your lap. “Will you play with me? You can be the princess!”

You happily oblige and play with her until dinner is ready.

At the table, Jungkook’s mother places the food around it. “Wow, Mrs. Jeon this looks amazing. Thank you so much for having me over” you say to her. She smiles back at her as she puts food on the little ones’ plates. “It’s no problem sweetie. Now please tell me more about yourself! All I hear from Jungkook is ‘my girlfriend is amazing’ and ‘I can’t wait for you to meet her’." She giggles. Hearing this makes your heart swoon. He talks about you like that?

“Well, um. I’m new to town. My parents and I moved here just this summer.” you say.

“Oh! How exciting! Where did you move from?”

“Seoul, my parents wanted to get away from the city and thought it was better to move to some place smaller.” Talking about Seoul makes you miss it. Seoul is the place you grew up in. You didn’t have many friends over there, but you still managed to have some.

“Well, Yongsan is small, but everyone knows everyone and it’s a great community all around.” She reassures you.

Thinking back on your school experience you highly doubt that it’s great at all. You only smile at her. As the night goes on, embarrassing childhood stories about Jungkook may have slipped out here and there. Spending your time with them was refreshing. You adored his family. This is something you wished for in the future.

On the way back to your house the car is silent. You think back to the events of tonight and reminisce.

“So, how do you feel now?” Jungkook says

“I feel content with tonight. I love your family. They’re so adorable. I wish I could come over a lot more often.” you say with a small smile on your lips.

“Well, you can. Come over as much as you want, baby” He looks over at you and you nod. Your smile slightly fading.

At the garden, Jungkook told you to meet him there after school. He told you he had a surprise. On your way over you pass by Sooha. Not caring about the way, she looked at you, you make your way over to your lover. He stood over the magnolia tree with a cover over the bench.

Eyebrows furrowed you walk over to him and hug him. You tilt your head so you’re now looking up at him. He places his soft lips against yours and pulls something out of his bag.

It’s the cherry blossom pedal that he kept from the day that he took you to go see them. You gasp, looking at what occupied his hand. “What is this?” you question. “It’s a pedal from the cherry blossoms I took you to see.” Those butterflies in your stomach bloom from within once again. You feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have such an amazing boyfriend.

Jungkook has given you love that you’ve never experienced before. You want to thank whoever sent him to you forever. Grabbing the pedal, you hold it close to your chest. “Thank you honey,” you say under your breath and connect your lips together. Every touch of his lip is like a spark of electricity. You can never get enough of it.

“I also did something else” He takes a hold of the cloth that was covering. On the bench, there’s a gold tag right in the middle. The engraving read ‘I love you for all eternity –J' you stand there, at a loss for words. He got this done for you? You start to feel tears burn at your waterline. Everyone in the world deserved a Jungkook. Wiping the tears from your eyes you rush into him and wrap your arms around his neck.

“I can’t believe you did this” you muffle into his chest. He wraps his arms around your waist and digs his face into the crook of your neck.

“Do you like it?” looking down at you.

“I fucking love it Jeon Jungkook” you laugh and kiss his lips again. This time the kiss lasts longer. Lips moving against each other with so much passion; moving slowly together. You’ve never been happier.

Jungkook sat at his desk in his room and his mom walked through his door. “Honey?” She catches his attention. He hums in response.

“I was cleaning out your room and I found this sitting on your dresser. I swear I wasn’t snooping but I was reading and” she pauses and opens it up. Jungkook wasn’t mad at her. He just sits and sighs as he waits for his mom to read what he wrote down.

“It says study hard enough to get into college. Okay, reasonable, next one says read the encyclopedia of cherry blossom trees. The last one says, major in Botany? Since when were you into plants and nature?”

Jungkook walks up to her and rips the paper from her hand. “It’s a list I wrote up in the middle of the night the other day. ___ is my inspiration behind it.” He says with a fond smile.

She’s never seen her son this happy and in love before. It’s truly the sweetest thing she’s ever seen. Such young love between the two. Her son’s happiness makes her a whole lot happier.

One day, Jungkook gets a sudden call from you. He hasn’t been with you in the past few days due to you being away for some reason. He never questioned it, not wanting to push you to your limits. Over the phone you tell him that you needed to tell him something.

You told him to meet you at your spot at around 8:00. It was usually dark by then and he was getting worried about you being there by yourself as you waited for him. When he pulls up next to the parking lot near the garden, he hurriedly makes his way over to you. You were sitting on the bench waiting for your boyfriend to show up.

“Hey, baby, what’s going on? Are you okay?” he says in a soft voice. He takes your hand in his and pulls you closer to him. Jungkook looks at your face and notices your red puffy eyes. Have you been crying? Getting even more worried, he cups your cheeks, so your head is tilted towards him.

“Hey, whatever it is we’ll get through it, alright? Please, tell me what the hell is going on” he weeps, Jungkook can feel his hands start to shake. Were you going to break up with him? Were you moving again? All these questions build up in Jungkook’s mind and he can’t stop thinking about the worst. Until it comes. You look down and a tear drops into your lap. The soft sniffles that come from you make his heart sink. He pulls you closer to him and you sob into his shoulders.

“I should’ve told you this sooner” you say quietly

“Tell me what, baby? What should you have told me?” He starts to panic. He’s completely clueless of what you’re trying to tell him.

And then.

It spills from your mouth.

“I’m sick” Jungkook’s world stops to a halt.

“Okay, let’s take you home and you’ll feel better”

“No, Jungkook.” you pause

“I’m sick”

“No, you can’t be sick, y-you're perfect. That’s not possible.”

You try to contain your tears, but they keep falling.

“That’s why I haven’t seen you for the past few days. I was at the hospital for my checkup. I have a heart condition and it doesn’t allow my blood to flow correctly and it restricts me from doing a lot of things. I’ve had it since I was ten. This means I’d have to stay home and at the hospital a lot more.”

Jungkook couldn’t hold it in anymore. He felt mad. He felt mad at the world. This couldn’t be happening

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” His voice raises an octive

“Because! This!” you point your hand between the both of you.

“Because we were doing so good. This was going so well. I didn’t want to tell you because it would ruin things.” You stand up from the bench. And turn your back on him. “I’m sorry” you say under your breath. You run in the direction of your house. Jungkook doesn’t let his tears loose until he’s back in his car. He feels furious. Not at you but at the situation.

“Fuck!” He punches his steering wheel and sobs into his hand. He’s never felt so helpless.

Jungkook needed time to think about what had just happened in the last few hours. How could you not have told him sooner? He feels guilty for not knowing. He’s made you do so many things not knowing the risk he’s putting you in. He was out on a drive, no location in mind. He continued down the road mindlessly.

He doesn’t realize where he’s at until he stops the car. He’s in front of the cherry blossom trees. Maybe being here was good for him. There was a store right next to the exhibition. They had everything cherry blossom related. He walks through the entrance of the store and scans around.

There was a man standing behind the counter. He watches as the young boy walks through his store looking around. “Hey, you” he says. Jungkook turns his head to him and walks to the counter. “Are you looking for something?” Jungkook pauses and looks at the wall behind the man. There were pictures of cherry blossoms all over. He notices a plant behind him. He lifts his finger and points at and asks, “What is that?”. The man turns around and carries the plant to his counter.

“This is a cherry blossom plant” Without hesitation Jungkook pulls his wallet out and makes an exchange with the man.

On the way back to Yongsan, you were all that occupied Jungkook’s mind. He was worried like crazy about you. The thought of you sitting in bed not being able to do anything causes an ache in your chest. From now on, he promises that he’ll stay by your side for all eternity. He prays to the gods above to keep you down here with him until you grow old.

He promises to take care of you until he can’t anymore.

You’re sitting in your bed reading a book. The clouds have covered the sky, and the air is a bit cold. All your medication is set next to your bedside table. Jungkook drove all the way to your house after visiting the cherry blossom tree. He stood under the arch of your door and knocked on the door twice.

You look up from your book and he walks over to you. The sight he sees is making his stomach turn. You don’t deserve to live your life like this. You were still so young. You had your whole life ahead of you. Jungkook sits at the edge of your bed and holds your hand. He brings it up to his lips and kisses the back of it. He leans in to kiss your forehead and then your nose.

Leaning his forehead against yours he speaks in a quiet tone. “Hi, honey. How are you feeling?” Trying to keep the mood positive you smile at him and say, “I’m doing great how about you?” He knows when you’re lying. But he only laughs and response to your question. “I’m doing good, baby.” he pauses for a moment. “I, um, I bought you something.” You look at him curiously. “What did you get me?”

You tug the blanket away from your lap and you sit up properly. Jungkook holds your hands and carefully pulls you up. He brings you over to your window that looks out to the garden in your backyard. You see a little plant growing from the soil.

It was a cherry blossom tree.

Your heart swells with love as you realize what he has done for you, once again. You turn your body to him to engulf him in a hug. Burying your face into his neck, his scent brings you such comfort. You wish you could keep that scent with you forever. You place your hands over his cheeks and lock your lips with his. “Thank you, for everything. I love you so much.” Pecking his lips again. You’ve never been so full of love in your life.

~ Today’s weather matched perfectly with today’s events. Your doctor told you it would be best if you got out and took in some fresh air. You spent your time with Jungkook in the garden and talked for hours. He brought you so many snacks and a blanket like he did all those months ago. You sat cuddled in front of him as he rested his back against the bench. His head rested against yours as you spent your time talking about anything.

Jungkook brings up your list again.

“Are you ever gonna tell me about number one?” he says into your ear. You giggle as you think about it.

“Alright, I guess I have to tell you" You playfully roll your eyes. Jungkook pinches your waist and you burst out laughing.

“Okay! Okay! Do want to know or not!” you say

“Fine, I’ll stop. So, tell me”

“The very first thing I put on that list is for something I need to do after.” It becomes silent. Jungkook thinks for a moment, letting your words sink in.

After?

There shouldn’t be an after. Life wasn’t fair to you. That’s all Jungkook knew.

“And what is that baby?” he pulls you closer to his chest. Afraid that you’d disappear if he didn’t hold you tight enough.

“I want to become a butterfly. I want my wings to grow strong and healthy so I’m free. I want you to look for me. I’ll show you so many signs that I’m with you. Always.” You turn in his arms and place a delicate hand over his heart. Jungkook can’t help the stinging sensation he feels in the back of his eyes. He pulls you in for a soft kiss.

Lips moving slowly against one another. He can’t imagine his life without you in it. He’s not ready to let you go.

You entangle your fingers in his slightly curly hair. You kiss the corners of his mouth and then his nose. You look at the tiny mole just under his nose. Cute.

“You know I love you, right?” you say to him. The tears that fall from his eyes fall to his chin. You reach up and wipe them away. He takes hold of your wrist and kisses your palm.

You’re going to be alright.

With him by your side.

Jungkook was out in the yard of his house watching his siblings play as his mom was getting dinner ready. He hears a car approach his driveway. It’s Jimin. He stands up from the step to his front door and walks over to his car. Jimin closes the door, and he walks up to Jungkook.

His little siblings yelling at each other in their own little world. Jimin walks past them and smiles. He looks up at Jungkook and pats him on the back. Jimin and Jungkook were always closer than he and Taehyung. They basically grew up together. “I heard about __, I’m sorry” He looks down at his shoes and places his hands in his pockets “It must’ve been hard hearing that” Jungkook scoffs. Knowing that he has, who knows how much time with you is literally tearing him up inside. “Yeah, I mean I’m trying to spend as much time with her as I can, you know. Being without her right now is just killing me,” he says in a low voice.

“Look, she’s going to get better. Stop thinking about the worst, just enjoy what you have right now, and don’t think about what could happen or what could’ve been. She needs you right now and you need to be strong for her. She’d trying her best for you.” he says softly. Jimin was always that friend you could go to for anything. He was one of Jungkook’s comfort people.

“You’re right. Yeah, sorry. This is just so much information for me to take in. I can’t lose her, man” With a heavy heart Jungkook tries his hardest to not break down. Especially in front of his siblings. They’ve grown attached to you after you’ve visited them so many times.

They’re always asking for you or wondering how you’re doing. It’s the sweetest thing. Jimin ended up staying for dinner. He hadn’t been over since the fight with Taehyung. He’s just glad that he has his best friend back.

Jungkook’s never been this worried in his life. He’s called you multiple times and has sent over a hundred texts in the last hour. You haven’t responded to him at all. He decided to make the drive to your house to see what was going on. When he got there, he could’ve sworn his heart stopped beating; there were ambulence trucks parked outside of your house. He rushed over to investigate what was going on.

He saw your father sitting on the doorstep of the house, with his head in his hands, hanging low.

“Jungkook” he says

“What happened? Where is she? In a panicked voice Jungkook walks into your house and looks for you. You’re nowhere to be seen.

“They took her to the hospital. She was outside watering the plants and she collapsed. They said her heart is in critical condition.” Jungkook storms out of the house and speeds his way to the hospital. No way in hell is he letting you stay by yourself right now.

He speeds through traffic lights, not caring if he gets caught. He needs to see you, now.

~ He pushes through people to get to the front desk. “Excuse me do you have ___ ___ here. She was admitted not too long ago” he frantically asks the lady. She types into her computer and searches for your name.

“Yes, we do. She’s in room seven.”

“Thank you”

Slowing down his pace he scans through the different doors. Being here makes his stomach sick. You’re supposed to be in bed at home. With him. Not in a hospital with sick patients all over the place.

When he finally finds your room, he looks through the small window of the door. Your eyes are closed. He walks through the door, slowly as he approaches your bed. Your skin is pale, and they have you hooked to an oxygen tank. Jungkook makes his way to the side of your bed, and he breaks down sobbing. His hands shake as he takes your hand into his. Your skin is cold. Not like how he’s used to; he brings it to his lips and tries to warm them up with his breath.

The motion wakes you up. You crack your eyes open slowly and meet Jungkook’s gaze. You place your hands on top of Jungkook’s hair, comforting him. His eyes are puffy from how much he’s crying. He cried on the way to the hospital just thinking about your condition.

“Hi, honey” your voice comes out week. You slightly furrow your eyebrows as you take in his features.

“Why are you crying?” Your hand making its way down to his cheek to wipe away his tears. He laughs quietly and looks down at the bed.

“I’m glad you’re doing okay. I should’ve brought you something, but I was in a hurry. I was so worried about you I wasn’t thinking properly.” he says with guilt laced in his voice. He should’ve been there with you.

“Baby, stop beating yourself up, there’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent me from ending up in here. I’m okay. See?” you make silly moves, and this gets him to smile even bigger. He leans over to kiss your forehead.

“Don’t scare me like that again, okay?”

“I promise”

Jungkook came to visit you every day. They still told you they needed to run some more tests on you to monitor your condition. Until then you were stuck in the small hospital bed. Jungkook would stop by before and after school until it became late into the night. He brought you snacks, plushies, some of your clothes, and stories that happened to him at school or about Jungha and Jungwoo.

You missed them so much. You haven’t seen them in weeks and Jungkook tells you that they keep asking for you. He also told you they prayed that you would soon get better so you could play with them again. The thought makes your heart melt.

Jungkook has never left your side since the day you got admitted. He waits day and night for you to come back home to him.

The TV was playing as you read your book (that Jungkook brought you) and he sits in the chair next to you as he’s on a call with his siblings. His hand is placed over your thigh, and he rubs back and forth gently.

“I wanna say hi to __” you here Jungha’s voice. You peek your head from the corner of the screen, and she screams loudly out of joy.

“Hi Jungha” you say softly with a smile spread across your face. She lets go of the phone and all you see is the ceiling. In the background you can hear her running around giggling. Her little face appears on the screen again and she yells “Hi __! I miss you sooooo much. Please come back soon!”

With a fond smile you look at her and say “I’ll try very hard to come back healthy for you sweetie. Make sure you listen to your mom and Jungkook while I’m away” you tell her.

“I always do! I’m a big girl!”

You laugh at her silly antics. Saying goodbye to her Jungkook hangs up the phone and looks at you. You return to your book and feel Jungkook’s stare on the side of your face.

Laughing, you look at him with confusion on your face.

“What?” you say softly.

He takes several minutes before he speaks.

“Marry me”

This takes you completely off guard. He wants you to marry him? There’s a warmth that spreads across your chest as you try to comprehend what just came out of his mouth.

“What?” it comes out as a whisper.

“Marry me __” he says in all seriousness. He’s never been so sure of something until he met you. You were his everything. He wanted to spend his life with you.

A small smile appears on your lips.

“Okay” His heartbeat picks up at your answer. He’s never loved someone as much as he loved you. He had already asked for your parents' blessing, and they surprisingly agreed.

He was finally able to spend the rest of forever with you.

~ They finally discharged you for one day. Having to beg and beg for them to let you out, they finally gave in.

Today was a cool spring day. The flowers are starting to bloom wildly, and the trees finally have their color back after the winter season. You and Jungkook planned everything over the course of two weeks. You wanted to have something small. The place you both chose was a little greenhouse chapel not too far from where you lived.

Your mother helped with your makeup and hair. The dress you wore was hers. It was an off the shoulder plain dress. You didn’t want anything too fancy, but nothing too little. It was perfect.

As you wait to walk down the aisle you see everyone sitting in their seats. Mrs. Kim was sitting with her husband near the front where the altar was. Jimin was sitting with Jungha and Junwoo with their mother. Your father had his armed hooked with yours as he waited to walk you down the aisle. The bouquet of flowers clads in your hand you hear the music begin to play. The song ’Try Again’ starts to play in a ballad.

At the end of the aisle, you see Jungkook. His hair is long enough to touch his eyebrows and his hands are crossed over his front. He can hear his heartbeat in his ears as he sees you standing there. You looked gorgeous in your dress. Walking down the aisle you see Jungha and Junwoo peek behind the chairs as they see you. Jungha has a huge smile on her face as she finally gets to see you.

You smile at both of them and turn your head back to your lover. Your dad places your hand into Jungkook’s and returns to his seat next to your mother. Jungkook had tears building up behind his eyes. He can’t believe he’s marrying the love of his life today.

“You may now be seated as we begin the ceremony of these two” everybody takes their seats, and the room becomes quiet.

“Now, let’s begin.” He clears his throat.

You look over to Jungkook and he mouths the words ‘I love you’ and you mouth them back.

“Do you Jungkook take ___ to be your wife?”

“I do”

“And do you ___ take Jungkook to be your husband.”

“May I have the rings please” Jungwoo emerges from his seat and walks up to the two of you. The pastor bends down slightly to take them from his hand. “Thank you” he smiles at him.

He cutely runs back to his seat and places his hands in his lap.

“Repeat after me Jungkook. I Jungkook”

“I Jungkook”

“Take you ___, to be my wife”

He repeats after him. He says the same thing to you. He gives each of you your rings and tells you to place them on one another’s finger.

“I know pronounce you husband and wife; you may now kiss the bride”

Jungkook pulls you in by your waist and kisses you deeply. You feel a smile spread across your face as you kiss your husband.

This was the happiest day of your life.

3 years later

Jungkook was sitting under the magnolia tree you used to meet up at. He had a piece of paper and a pen in his hand. He spent most of his days here thinking. His favorite time of the day is when he gets to spend his time at your spot talking to you. The pen hits the piece of paper he holds in his hand and he begins to write

My baby,

It’s been a long year once again without you by my side. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. You're always on my mind, I’ve started classes and learned a lot of new things about flowers and nature. Now I see why you loved them so much. The tree outside of your house has grown a lot more. The pretty white leaves you loved so much are starting to show. I hope you're doing well. I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts. I wish every day that you would come back to me. I miss hearing your laugh, I miss your smile, I miss your beautiful face that lights any room you walk into, and most of all I miss hearing your beating heart next to mine

Jungha started school recently. She said that she would make you a painting whenever she felt sad, and I’d put it them next to my desk. I have a drawer full of them now. I told her that you would come in at night to check up on us and you’d plant kisses so light that she doesn’t feel them when she’s sleeping. She asks and talks about you a lot every day. Sometimes I run out of things to say to her. and just tell her that you’ll be back with us one day. But i can’t lie to her. I think she misses you as much as I do Jungwoo’s doing pretty well too. We’ve gotten closer these past few years. He misses you a whole lot too. We all do. Everyone is doing well; I hope you’re resting well now. Sometimes I dream that you're next to me. Telling me that everything is going to be okay.

And I think it will be. Everything will be okay as long as you’re close to me.

I love you, baby.

Jungkook looks up and sees a beautiful bright blue butterfly land on top of the paper. It flies away and a smile spreads across his face

Everything will be okay

a/n: AHHH IM CRYING. gosh writing this was such a rollercoaster. the fluff was too much for me to handle 😣. i hope you guys enjoyed this one. this was my favorite to write bc it’s after my favorite movie!! i hope i didn’t make yall cry 😭. ughhh i love their story so much.

#jungkook #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #bts #jungkook fanfic #jungkook oneshot #bts au #bts fic

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anundyingfidelity · 2 days ago

Text

HAPPY MISTAKE — Logan Howlett

Summary: Not ever, through all the years of your life, you found someone like Logan. Since he arrived at the school, something brought you together like a magnet. Sadly, not everything came out as you wished it would be. Time is not gentle with mutants, and you try so hard to show him your unconditional love before everything is over, but can you finally accept your feelings for each other? Or yours and Logan's tumultuous relationship through the years.

(PART ONE → PART TWO) | GEN MASTERLIST!

Pairing: Logan x mutant!female!reader.

Word count: 9.6k.

Warnings: slow burn, breaking up(?)/making up, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, eventual smut and unprotected everything, language, character death, time travel, Logan hurting reader unintentionally, wounds and blood. Logan being a whore for both Jean Grey and the reader. Reader has slow aging as Logan and looks around mid 30s in my head. Anthropology teacher!reader. Reader can manipulate light (just like Starlight from The Boys). This takes place between different movies from the franchise, from X-Men 1 to DoFP, so spoilers of the movies ahead.

Notes: Long time no write. Life is horrible but somehow I managed to get this in like two months. I love Logan so fucking much now you don't have an idea. This was also written with Happy Mistake by Lady Gaga in mind. If you'd like to be tagged in the second part let me know or let me know your thoughts on this, it's very much appreciated! I suffered a lot writing it .

𝒊𝒇 𝒊 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒇𝒊𝒙 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊'𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆.

—

2000

“Need any help?”

Logan stopped on his tracks from wandering around the cozy, yet strange place he woke up in. Turning on his feet, he saw your figure standing in the middle of the hallway. He said nothing, but you approached him as you had known him for a very long time.

“I assume you’re the new guy-”

“Where is she?” Logan abruptly interrupted once you stood inches away from him.

“Rogue? She’s fine. And you need to take a little rest.”

“I don’t need medical attention,” he said, looking around to search for a nearby exit. Before he walked away you took his arm in a soft grip.

He was, as much as you could tell, surprised by your boldness. You gave him no time to process his next movements once you talked again, your voice firm and welcoming in a way he had never felt before.

“Please, you need to meet Professor Xavier,” you said. “At least before you go. It’s totally fine if you wanna leave, I don’t recommend it though, but we can offer you a safe place here. We are just like you.”

Logan’s hardened expression relaxed for a moment, sensing no threat coming from you. All he saw in your eyes wasn’t pity, nor anger at him being kind of an asshole at first. It was just authority, the good kind where he also had something to say and decide about.

“Whatcha say, Logan?”

He was so immersed in his thoughts before you called his name, thinking it sounded beautiful falling off your lips. You gave him a half smile as he took in each detail of your face, as if he was memorizing every part of it.

It was the first time someone had been nice to him and it felt strangely good.

For some reason, it felt very good coming from you.

—

Logan just found out from the Professor’s mouth the mansion was a school for mutants. Gifted people, he called them. After learning another powerful mutant was behind him and Rogue, he had no other choice but accept the shelter. He didn’t like the other guys better, playing the teacher with a bunch of teenagers with special or cursed abilities. But besides Storm and Jean, you were the person who had welcomed him the most, even showing him the place and the room he would stay in.

One late night, you sat at the dining table together. Logan was silently drinking a beer outside school hours so the kids wouldn’t see him, and you, reading a bunch of papers from your students that you were missing. He realized how hard you worked, how you would praise your students, how you talked to them outside classes, being the one to actually convince Rogue to enroll in the school. Immediately, he knew you were really something, having much more in common than he thought. And you, living for so long, being both a mutant and a lady for sure had a hard life through time.

“What you teach again?” he suddenly asked, breaking the comfortable silence you shared.

“Anthropology,” you answered, giving him a short glance. “I took this at college a long time ago, and I’ve been alive long enough to know a thing or two,” you explained, putting away a paper after putting an A+ on it proudly. “It’s important to understand ourselves, humankind and mutants… It’s a diverse world and there are lots of cultures, languages and societies we don’t get to know, but it’s beautiful. I think I like to celebrate what makes us unique. I've had the chance to study some of them around the world since I had the time, y’know, and it’s truly amazing. It’s a shame we have to fight between us to make us heard when we could just be kind and empathetic to each other… Sorry, you didn’t ask but, y’know, anyway.”

You shook your head with a curve on your lips, going back to the next paper. Logan had taken the sparks in your eyes as you talked. He half smiled to himself once you buried yourself in your papers again, thinking you sounded just like Professor Xavier. No wonder why he took you in. Probably, if things were different for him, he would’ve found something that could light his face with so much passion just like you did.

“Been alive for almost two hundred years,” Logan said and you looked up to him. “We might have things about the past to share,” he drank from his beer. It was your turn to smile back at him.

“Yeah, well, I’ve lived both horrible but nice things. Couldn’t read or do math without being called a witch,” you chuckled to yourself, but hiding on the inside the awful experiences you had to endure. “Someday, we could go out and grab a coffee or something,” you said with a playful smile.

A light chuckle left your lips, but you and him knew it wasn’t just a joke.

He joined you with a warm smile that lit up his face before disappearing from his lips. “Of course. Count me in.”

—

The sun was shining bright and the weather was great that morning. Some of the students were in the yard playing, having some quality time, and others simply just left to go to the town. It was a good weekend before the next semester started, and it was better now knowing Magneto had been taken to prison after his failed attempt to use Rogue for his plans.

Sipping on your coffee, you saw the students outside. Laughing, running, having a good breakfast picnic. It felt heartwarming just taking this sight, wishing it would always be like this. Your mindful peace was interrupted when Logan entered the kitchen to have a coffee on his own. Visibly, you tensed just a little when he approached you and sat right in front of you at the dining table. The caffeine was not helping at all, you thought.

“Morning,” he greeted you, noticing something was off on you, but hoping it would pass. Maybe you already knew.

“Morning…” your voice came out as a whisper. “How you feeling?”

“Better. What about you?”

You gave a small nod. “Good, thanks for asking.”

A silence fell upon you. Not like the ones you used to share in lonely nights where you prepared your classes and Logan just sat down calmly because he couldn’t sleep. This time it was different. Words won’t come out of your mouth to ask what was really bothering you. You had grown up to like Logan and enjoy his company, but he had a lot of walls upon him, protecting himself of the world and people around him.

However, you understood why he did it. You both have been alive longer than anyone else. You saw people you love dearly dead, being killed because of your flaws. And you really connected to his idea of protecting people by leaving their side. It was better being away. That was until Professor Xavier recruited you. Here, you had a purpose and you helped young people to become the best versions of themselves. You wished Logan could do the same, stay and see he was more of what he thought of himself, but it wouldn’t happen. Right? He had things to sort out on his own.

“Are you leaving soon?”

When you asked the question, Logan knew you had heard something from the Professor. He gave you a nod.

“I need to reconnect with who I was,” he simply answered.

“Right… Wish you all the best there.”

Logan had grown to like you over the past few weeks you shared, exchanging experiences and lessons of life you had taken through the years. For a moment, he looked right into your eyes and smiled. He weirdly smiled, and you could swear he’d miss you too once he is away.

But that warm feeling soon faded away once Jean walked into the kitchen, saying good morning and beaming to the both of you. Logan followed her with his gaze, straightening himself on his seat as she served her own breakfast and an extra plate that you already knew was for Scott. She also began putting fruits and snacks inside a picnic basket while looking all happy and settled, and you knew why Logan had fallen in love with her. It was all over his face.

And you wondered how could he act and talk to you so kindly and sweet, and then look at Jean like that. It was a pain in your heart you tried to dissipate. Everyone knew Jean and Scott were a couple, and the fact that Logan had a not so secret crush on her really played on you. It made you feel like a fool and you had too many heartbreaks and hurted people, putting them in danger due to your mutation, to take initiative and start a relationship - or anything of the sort - again.

Scott made his way inside the kitchen, saying hi to both of you - mostly you. And took the tray with their plates as Jean grabbed the basket, but she let Scott leave the kitchen before.

“Have a good trip, Logan,” she said kindly. “I hope to see you around here soon.”

“Thank you, Jean.”

She smiled one last time before leaving you all alone, Logan following her with his eyes. Just for a second, you wished he could see you like that underneath his facade.

—

You had packed your stuff later that day, deciding a little air and a change for one night would do no wrong. Just as you were walking to the main door, Rogue was saying her goodbyes to Logan after giving him a small hug without really touching him. It was a cute sight how Rogue was able to step into his cold heart. She said goodbye to you as well before leaving the entrance.

“You’re going away too?” Logan asked, rather surprised as you both walked through the door, the sun hitting your skin as soon as you were out of the mansion. He knew your life was at the school.

“Just for the weekend,” you shrug it off.

Logan gave you a nod with a warm smile. “Then have a good trip and enjoy yourself.”

“Thanks. I hope you find what you’ve been looking for.”

“I hope so too,” Logan answered and before he went to take Scott’s bike, he looked at you hesitantly for a couple of seconds. “We should go out and grab some coffee once I’m back.”

Your lips formed a wide smile. “That sounds really nice.”

For a moment, where time felt like hours and not seconds, you stood right out the door, looking at each other. You wanted him to go first, but he was waiting for you to say something. Probably to ride the bike with him, he could leave you somewhere near your destination and feel you close - just be around you for at least five more minutes. But none of that ever happened.

Instead, you studied his face, looking at his deep eyes, and then his lips - those lips you wanted to kiss so bad before, but never had the courage to do so. You didn’t think further, and if something had taken possession over you, you leaned towards him leaving a short, sweet kiss on the corner of his lips.

“Take care,” you mumbled once you pulled away.

Not waiting for his answer, you turned back, pulling your bag to your side stronger than ever and walked the path to the front gates, feeling his gaze all over you until you left the mansion.

He felt such an idiot for not kissing you properly.

—

2003

‘I know what I want, but what do you want?’

Mystique’s words echoed through his head. Logan left the tent so long ago he didn’t know what time it was anymore and the situation kept repeating again and again in his mind. The woman had shifted between Jean, Ororo, and you. The one that icked him the most being Rogue once Mystique had taken her figure in. Storm was a good colleague, Jean was a forbidden love, Rogue was like his little sister, someone he would protect as long as he could, and you… you were a different case. When Mystique was about to kiss him wearing your figure, he finally realized he started feeling things he had prohibited himself for a very long time, and he thought he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t.

Once or twice you shared experiences about love and partners, but he could tell it hurted you the same way as him. He couldn’t burden breaking your heart, or worse, getting you hurt because of what he was. Logan knew you had the same bad luck in the past, but it didn’t stop any of you to pull towards each other like a magnet.

‘Living for so long does things to you, Logan. I feel we become more aware of what we are.’

Those words you said to him one time remained in his head like a warning, and he took it personally.

Closing his eyes, he leaned against a hard tree trunk some feet away from the tents where the rest of the X-Men rested. He tried to find some peace alone for a few moments when the sounds of steps approaching alerted his senses. Claws out and ready to attack, he spun around the trunk only to stop in a second.

There you were, a bright light emanating from your hand to illuminate your path in the darkness of the woods.

“Logan?”

Quickly, he withdrew his claws and his body relaxed visibly. “Sorry,” he apologized, leaning against the tree one more time.

“Are you okay?” you asked, but you already knew the answer. The exhausted sigh he let out told you everything you needed. You let the soft glow of light floating between you and him, to illuminate both of you under the branches. “You wanna talk?”

He slowly shook his head, mumbling ‘no’. He became startled in the light floating like a firefly, letting his own issues wash away with your sole company. Ironically, everything that was troubling him was you. Softly, you caressed his arm, taking him out of his own thoughts. Your touch didn’t help his poor mind either.

Looking worried about the next mission in Lake Alkali, you feared for him and your team. And your lack of sleep was showing it. But just like Logan, the growing feelings were troubling your head. You had seen him talking with Jean earlier when you landed in the forest - talking too close to your liking once he pulled her for a kiss. But what could you do? Logan was still after Jean even when she had already declined him countless of times, and it didn’t really hurt you. It just felt strange inside. Why would he do that while still being nice to you, quitting being a dick when he wanted because he knew you’d snap back at him. And to be honest, Logan looked as if he liked that about you. But he won’t admit it out loud, and of course, you wouldn’t ask. Men were so damn complicated.

“Well, I only expect things to not get worse…” you finally said in a soft whisper since he wasn’t talking and you stopped your head going further on the matter. And you knew he wouldn’t talk soon either. “And you’re brave for seeking your past.”

Logan locked his eyes with your own, under the soft light. Your tired gaze, your figure, your aura pulling him like he found a treasure in an abandoned cave… He felt so bad for falling for someone like you, who was nothing compared to the crap he was. And then, for the first time in years, he decided to follow his instinct with you.

He leaned towards your figure, his rough hand cupping your cheek gently before pulling you in for a kiss. With a soft sigh you corresponded, your arms around his neck as it turned deeper and harsher. Logan lifted you easily from the ground, your legs tangling around his waist until you felt your back against a rough surface, trapped between the trunk and his body. Soft moans and grunts mingled, your chest pressing against his own, his hips grinding against your crotch. It was obvious you wanted this. Logan desired you so painfully after that day you kissed him goodbye at the mansion, he needed your body and soul. But you had to have answers before giving into the heat of the moment.

Pulling away, you broke the kiss, your forehead resting against his own as you tried to catch your breath. Logan tried to taste you once again, but you placed two of your fingers on his swollen lips.

“Why’d you kiss her?”

He remained silent, brows furrowed and eyes blown in lust. You didn’t make any effort to pull him away. He still had you between his legs, asking a simple question he had no response for.

“We’re adults here, Logan. Just wanna know why before we go further.”

Logan started to remember. He vividly heard Jean and Mystique voicing out and asking the right question.

‘Girls flirt with the bad guy. They take the good guy home.’

‘What do you want?’

“Do you really want me?” he asked in return.

You lifted an eyebrow at his sudden question. “And do you?”

He leaned again for a kiss on your lips, and thankfully for him, you didn’t stop it. But he quickly pulled away and inhaled your sweet scent from the skin on your neck, leaving a path of soft pecks, until he nipped the shell of your ear softly. You shivered under his touch.

“I’d love to have you,” he whispered, softly caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Come to my tent,” you mumbled. “Sleep with me. But like, seriously, sleep with me ‘cause I’m tired,” you chuckled, hoping to not kill the mood.

Logan smiled for a bit and nodded, pecking your lips one more time before helping you get on your feet on the muddy ground, hands rubbing your sides slowly.

“As long as I have you by my side it’s alright with me.”

—

Jean’s death was hard to swallow.

For weeks, students and teachers mourned her, and you felt sorry for Scott for losing his soulmate. Logan was not in the best shape either. He didn’t attend her funeral, he never had the guts to stand by her grave either, until now. You stopped right behind him and noticed him sighing, under the afternoon sunset. He was tense because of everything, but when you took his hand out of the pocket of his jacket, he held onto you. Your fingers intertwined together, feeling his life depending solely on you, like a rock he needed to support his whole weight.

The day was about to end, the sun slowly hiding, giving a beautiful painting of orange and purple in the sky. You thought it would soon become an intense thunderstorm due to Ororo’s mourn - something you had gotten used to the last few days.

“She saved us,” Logan barely mumbled, looking intensely at the grave.

You nodded, even if he could not see you. “Can’t blame her, I’d have done the same.”

Those words cause him to look back at you, wishing it’d be a lie. But inside, Logan knew you really had the guts to sacrifice yourself for others. It was something he remembered both of you talking about some time ago. And you would give everything in your hands to save the ones you love.

Quietly, Logan gave a last glance at Jean’s grave, and guided you inside the mansion. Classes barely started again due to the circumstances and a few kids could be seen around the halls. You accompanied him to the doors of his room, noticing you had been holding hands the whole time. Probably no one really cared, they were too busy trying to go through the grief of losing a loved one. Slowly, you broke the gesture, taking your hand away and Logan immediately missed the heat and comfort of your hand.

“Do you need anything?” you asked in a low voice.

Looking at you, Logan reminisced how you kissed in the woods, the need and lust for each other that couldn’t be. He did sleep in your tent that night, in the comfort of your arms, feeling the warmth of your skin. It was, probably, the first time he had a good, peaceful night of sleep in years. No one had brought that up, but he knew something was there. And he needed to act on it before it was too late.

So he brought up his hands to your face, cupping your cheeks lovingly before planting a kiss on your lips, not caring he was standing in the middle of the hallway where anyone could see what was going on. You leaned against his touch, deepening the kiss until you couldn’t catch a breath. When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead into yours, taking in the beauty of your bright eyes and swollen lips. Everything wandering his mind, making a path right into his cold heart was right in front of him.

“You.”

—

Knocking Professor Xavier's door, you walked inside as soon as his voice announced to come in. You caught your breath seeing Logan by his desk. He just gave you a quick, accomplice glimpse and left the room, closing the door behind. The exchange of glances wasn’t unnoticed by Charles.

“Here’s the report on my subject for this last semester, Professor,” you announced, leaving the folder on the wooden desk.

“Thank you. How’s Logan doing?” he asked all of a sudden, checking the door the man had crossed just seconds ago.

“Excuse me?”

“Do you believe he is comfortable helping the kids?” the old man asked again. He was seeing right through you, and you kind of hated every time he used to do that to you. Nothing could be hidden from Xavier; definitely you couldn’t hide a single thing for the man who took you in decades ago.

“Why would I know that?”

He shrugged it off. “Well, you seem very close lately.”

Close was not the best word to describe your relationship with Logan. Yet, you were sleeping on his bed just the night before. The trace of his kisses, the burn of his beard on your skin, his teeth biting softly your breasts, his rough hands all over your hips… Every touch he left on your body you could still feel it, and you wanted to think he was not just using you. During the past weeks, you were together. Not quite a relationship-thing was established properly, but it was the closest thing any of you could have as for now.

It was a mixture of grief, pain, and hope that had you both still standing. In the end, you understood what he felt. Being alone and alive for so long and then finding a place where people accepted you for who you were was a whole change, even if some years passed by. Though, the time Logan had been spending at the school was nothing but a blink of an eye compared to his past.

“What happened to our team is still affecting us,” you finally said. “I believe we are good friends, yes, we’ve been supporting each other. And he doesn’t know how to deal with the students yet most of the time, but I try to walk him through it.”

Xavier hummed, smiling at the corner of his lips as he eyed the folder you handed him. “I bet you both do.Thanks for bringing your report on time, as always, and I apologize if I am being intrusive. Just please be careful with the noises both of you make at night, we have kids around here.”

Shit.

You swallowed your pride right there and simply gave a nod, feeling the heat burning up your face.

“Will do, Professor.”

—

A loud gasp escaped your lips as you held for dear life on his broad shoulders, hips snapping against your own. His pace was reckless, keeping you on the edge of sin. Grunts mixed with sweet moans, skin hitting skin again and again every time you felt his cock inside you. If possible, your nails could have already left visible scars and marks on his back, scratching and bleeding off his skin as he fucked you senseless.

Logan sucked on the bare skin on your neck, inhaling your scent, feeling your walls clenching around his girth, his hands roughly grabbing the sides of your hips as you moaned his name, over and over, under the moonlight. He looked at you intensely with loving eyes when you came underneath him, eyes flashing that familiar bright light every time a powerful orgasm hit your body. The vulnerable sight of your figure shaking, eyes closing slowly and biting your lip to keep the pretty noises low, made him reach the sweetest high.

With a grunt, he leaned to attack your lips in a heated, wet kiss to moan against your mouth. Logan pulled back to press butterfly kisses on your jaw, until he reached your breasts, feeling himself soften inside your wet heat. His hips were still thrusting just enough to fill you up at a gentle rhythm. Marking you his and only his.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he mumbled against the sensitive skin of your chest. “Remind me why we’re here again.”

You chuckled softly, fingers tangling on his disheveled hair. You just had prepared a small date night out at the shores of a beautiful lake in the woods. No one could bother you if you were alone, and since your relationship was not so secret anymore, you needed him in a place that wasn’t the school. So here you were, laying on your back, fully naked on the picnic blanket, with the Wolverine between your legs, enjoying the calmness of the water, the green grass, the crickets singing around, and the cold of the night.

“Privacy perhaps?” you whispered as his eyes locked on yours.

Softly you touched his cheek with the palm of your hand and he rolled both of you over, until you laid on top of him, legs straddling his waist and your arms on his shoulders to sit on his lap. Silence took over, his hands soothing your hips and the marks he left on your body from the intense love-making.

“I’m so happy we took a couple of days off…”

You waited for Logan to say something. Anything. You wanted to continue, to tell him how you really felt. Instead, you decided it was better leaving it like this. Logan gave you a nod, pulling you for a short kiss.

“Yeah. Me too.”

He wanted to say it out loud, but was too scared to do so.

—

2006

After a couple of long years, the school and the team had to learn how to go through the grief and pain Jean left. Logan had a hard time processing it, just like all your teammates, specially Scott, and of course the students. It didn’t stop you from moving on as time went by though, always remembering her for the great person and mind she was. Going forward and keeping fighting is what she would’ve wanted for everyone, even now that a certain cure for mutants was announced to the public.

You tried to continue your life as a professor at the school, training students, leading young people, and you invited and encouraged Logan to do so countless times. Deep inside, you wished it was you the reason why Logan decided to stay and train young mutants - for you to be the answer to his loneliness. That he knew, for once and all, that he was not alone. You got each other, and you could do something about it. Words unspoken said more than anything, at least you thought so.

It was one of those rare nights where you got some time for yourselves, walking around the city after having a nice and calm dinner. Your shoulders brushed against each other while you walked downtown, your hands hiding inside the pockets of your jacket, protecting them from the cold.

There was a lot on your mind lately, thinking about what you two really were. If there was a stronger feeling in between, or if it was solely because he enjoyed your company and that was it. Both had lived enough to know there was a feeling in the middle. It wasn’t just friends with benefits, or co-workers who sleep together three times a week. Something was blooming deep inside you, but you tried to not give it a lot of attention all those years. Still, it felt like it had to be addressed sooner or later, and this could be the time. In the end, you understood each other perfectly. How painful it was, how living longer than anyone was, how you had to leave everything and everyone behind because you were dangerous…

“Have you ever wondered how’d it feel to have a normal life?” your question came out all of the sudden.

“How come?” He looked at you from the corner of his eye.

You didn’t know if his gaze was judging you but you continued anyway.

“Like living a normal amount of years… Not having these things, genes that make us different. Or special…”

Logan suddenly stopped in his tracks and grabbed your arm softly so you could lock eyes together as he asked. “You’re not thinking of getting that damn cure, aren’t you?”

“Of course not!”

“Then why’d you think that?”

“Because I never had anyone in my life, Logan,” you spat, pulling your arm away from his grip. “I’ve been alive for so long but I can’t promise myself a future. A real one. Not anything, it doesn’t matter if I live forever. Every person I loved before perished.”

Those words shook him out of the rough façade showing on his face. Your gaze told a hundred different stories when he studied your face every time. It was like mirroring himself at some point. You were the first person he ever got to know that has lived as long as he has, and maybe it was the sentimentalism, but he tried to push away those wishes of settling down. Of trying to be normal. Because he was not, and maybe, just maybe, you just didn’t accept it like he did. Probably, he was just giving up. But you weren’t, even after hundreds of years of disgrace continuously happening.

“I thought you’d get this, Logan.”

You mumbled, taking him out of his trance.

“Well, I do, in a way,” he said, but sounded more like an excuse for himself.

“Then why don’t you say it?”

“Wha-”

“Just say it,” you repeated and pointed between you and him. “What is this for you? What are we?”

Logan grabbed on your shoulders gently and leaned towards you, stealing a kiss on the sidewalk, a kiss you obliged with a bittersweet feeling for some reason, but then he whispered. “Darling, you’re everything to me now.”

Yet, you smiled and kissed him back, feeling his lips curve against your own. Well, that wasn’t so hard was it?

—

Needless to say, after the last date, your relationship with Logan had evolved to something more domestic, considering you lived together in your workplace. Affection, holding hands, quick kisses were shared now a little more freely, and you had received a couple of jokes and teases from some students and Storm. But it was fine as long as you had cleared your path with Logan, even if he didn’t act like a partner sometimes.

The certain calmness you felt one day disappeared when Logan and Ororo went to look for Scott, who often had these sad thoughts, and since Jean was his partner, it was thoroughly complicated for him to say the least. When Logan and Ororo came back to the mansion, it was not what you expected to see. Jean was alive and Scott was gone.

It hurted you, knowing first hand that their love wouldn’t be anymore. You met both of them when they were so young, becoming something like their mentor when they used to learn how to control their powers and how to fit in this world that loathed mutants to death. Now, the school was something else. It was a big, special place that was not the same without the brains of Jean, or the enthusiasm and leadership of Scott. Things were different, they had to change because the circumstances told so, and everyone had a difficult time adapting to it. One thing after another left you tired, with no option to run away, even if you wanted to. The complicated circumstances and the relationship you shared with Logan were no help either.

While on your way to check on Jean, who was still under observation after a couple of days, you stopped in your tracks when the heavy door of the med bay slid. Logan, looking all out of his daily self and mad, found you at the entrance, and you felt something different emanating from him.

For what you could see behind him, Jean was still asleep, and the Professor called Logan to come back with a serious voice, but he ignored the older man, instead approaching you.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Logan grasped your arm, his tone lower and deeper than usual.

You quickly pulled off his grip and hissed. “What are you talking about?”

“Jean.”

You felt silent. Of course she was anything he could think of since they found her.

“You knew he was controlling her,” Logan went on and your heart skipped a beat.

The look in your eyes told everything but lies. Logan scoffed and walked away, leaving you standing alone under Professor Xavier’s gaze.

“I’ll talk to him,” you mumbled at your mentor before following Logan, trying to keep his pace until he reached his room.

The whole way you tried to keep it professional, greeting students as normally you would, but when you crossed his door it was impossible to continue with the facade.

“Logan-”

“He’s insane,” he snapped, putting his jacket on and taking his bag out.

“Everything that was done was meant to protect her,” you responded calmly as he placed a handful of clothes inside the bag.

“No, you did it because you are disgusting. I bet this is what should’ve been for me if I refused to cooperate with your circus or something.”

“You don’t know what she is capable of-”

“Yeah, well I don’t wanna hear it anymore. This is so fucked up, even for you,” he continued, bag on his hand taking long strides until you were almost touching noses.

You scoffed, trying to laugh at the irony. “What does that even mean? Do you know how horrible it is to be controlled by the Phoenix inside her?.”

Logan rolled his eyes, not wanting to hear another poor excuse. You continued anyway, looking straight in his eyes before he could leave you hanging with your own words. Exactly like he used to do every damn time when you had an argument. Today, he wouldn’t run away that fast.

“She could kill you in a second and won’t hesitate. For her, we’re nothing. We’re not rivals, we can’t do shit. The only thing we could do was keep her alter ego somewhere hiding inside her mind, or else we wouldn’t be here arguing about something you never witnessed. Because I did and you don’t wanna see that, trust me,” you spat at him. He breathed rage at your words and you knew that it was getting on his nerves seeing the way his hands turned to fists. “And you think this version of her cares for you? Or that she loves you? Jean is gone now, Logan, fucking get over it.”

With last harsh words, you turned around and left the room, closing the door with a thud.

Logan breathed out. He wanted to scream, hit something, run away… Anything to let it out. He was a reckless mess but how could he react and accept Charles was playing with Jean’s mind? And you fucking knew all this time and didn’t say anything? Were his feelings dirty on him right now? Probably. Shit, he took years to finally tell you the truth about his love and affection towards you. He spent months trying to find the right words just to say ‘I love you’, and still, it seemed it wasn’t enough. The forbidden love he felt for Jean never disappeared, and he felt guilty for it.

—

You walked down to the med bay after calming down for a bit. You only needed to check on Jean for a moment and see how she was doing. Years prior, you had witnessed what the Phoenix was capable of, so you didn’t really question Charles’ methods when it came to hide this dangerous side of her inside her mind. You also thought your words might have been a little harsh on Logan, but it was the truth. He didn’t know who the Phoenix was and, if his feelings for Jean resurfaced after believing her being dead, then it wasn’t on you. As much as you loved him, as much as you tried and somehow managed to move on together, he was so easily dragged to her.

The anger you felt before took over you once again, as you found the metal doors of the lab in debris. Quickly, you made your way inside the room and found Jean wasn’t there and that Logan was lying unconscious on the floor. You knelt down by his side, calling him over and over and touching his face and shaking his shoulders until he finally opened his eyes slowly, coming back to reality.

“Logan, what happened?”

“She… she killed Scott. The Phoenix,” he whispered. You could tell he was a little weak and out of breath.

“You’re lucky she just ran away,” you pointed out, helping him to sit down. His eyes were lost in the mess in the room. Tools were destroyed, test tubes broken, crystal was everywhere, and Jean left the reminder of kissing him, yet again, before she escaped. God, he felt so idiotic.

“I’m sorry,” Logan said, looking at you. “Sorry for being a jerk. It’s my fault.”

Taking his cheeks between your hands, you gave him a reassuring look. “We’re gonna find her, okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah, we’ll find her.”

“Come here, we need to alert Charles,” you said, helping him to stand up.

Inside, you knew he wouldn’t really need your help. He was strong and indestructible like the metal on his skull, but he seemed really taken back, and you decided to stay by his side, holding his hand strongly as a way to say sorry as well. It was kind of difficult to see Logan in that state of mind, confused and lost, and you wondered what had happened back there in the lab as you left him in his bedroom, ordering him to rest for a while.

“I’ll be right back,” you assured him with loving eyes.

Logan nodded, following your figure stepping out the room and disappearing in the hallway.

He let out a breath he didn’t know was holding. His mind was having a hard time and his heart felt like breaking, going in two opposite directions, and he hated himself for that. His fate was always the same: losing people he loved and cared for dearly. So seeing Jean back again was as if god or anything up there remembered he existed and brought her back just for him. Or maybe he was just being selfish because he already had you.

You were everything for him. A couple of years might be just a short glimpse for both of you, but he was able to feel peace and calm next to you, and he was sure you did as well. Because some nights, that was all you could talk about. Logan didn’t mind hearing you for hours, it reminded him he was alive. With you, but his stupid instinct had to act.

It was his fault Jean had left. The kiss, the whole act of embracing each other’s bodies for at least two minutes, and then her breakdown, begging for him to kill her… All of that was enough to bring out the beast inside her. And he felt such a jerk now for following his desires. He already had you. Wasn’t that enough?

His thoughts were interrupted once you arrived again, finding him sitting at the end of the bed exactly as you had left him there. Sensing something different on him, you sat down by his side and rubbed his hand gently.

“We might know where she’s going,” you whispered.

“I’ll go,” Logan said before you could finish.

“I’m not sure if I should ask, but are you okay? You could do some rest,” you suggested, since seeing the redhead was clearly getting some kind of reaction from him.

“No, I need to go,” he said. But Logan could read your face perfectly, and he knew you didn’t really like the idea of him leaving the mansion. You turned your eyes, scanning the room and avoiding his gaze.

You had the need to ask what exactly had happened back there with Jean, but you didn’t want to start a fight either. Feeling Logan’s hand on your shoulder, he leaned to kiss your forehead goodbye. Maybe you were the one who should stay, check the kids, the school…

“It’ll be fine,” he mumbled, voice low and deep, as if trying to convince you, but himself as well. You nodded with your arms around his neck, giving him a hug that felt like some sort of apology you weren’t able to say out loud. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.”

And how you’d wish things would be fine.

—

The school has been very quiet lately. Too silent even for his taste. At nights like these, he could still feel the vigor and presence of the students running around, grabbing something to eat, planning to go out for a while... Instead, Logan found himself in a place that was mourning. Grieving the loss of Jean, Scott and Charles.

The feelings inside were complicated. He didn’t really feel the same, and the disgrace and remorse of his actions were growing on him. They were still haunting him; every day, every single night. You knew it too. It was impossible to ignore the nightmares each time he woke up from seeing Jean’s lifeless body fall against his own after he gave what she wished for the most: death.

And then, there was you. He noticed how difficult it was getting for you to sleep. You tried to hide your sorrow into your work, studying even more, keeping yourself busy with the school and not thinking about anything else. Since Charles was gone, Ororo took his place and you were her second hand. But you pushed yourself too hard.

Tonight he found your bedroom empty. He didn’t find you on his either, so he went to the place he knew you would be: your classroom. The door was half opened, the dim light of the lamp on your desk barely illuminated the papers on the surface. He found you deeply concentrated reading on something, hands on the sides of your head hiding your face.

“Hey,” he softly mumbled, stepping inside the empty classroom.

You quickly straightened yourself on the chair, wiping your cheeks and tried to look decent for a moment.

“Hey,” you replied back, low voice.

“Come to bed,” he said, coming to stand before you, his hand on your shoulder comforting and soothing you, making its way to the side of your neck. His big palm on your cheek, caressing the skin stained with your tears as if it was the most delicate thing. He took a look at the mess of papers and old books you loved too much to get rid of, scattered on the wooden surface.

“No, I- I can’t. Need to finish these by tomorrow…”

Logan gave you a nod and a grimace before taking your hand, motioning to come closer. You stood up, knowing he was trying to get you out of the work that was consuming you.

He observed every feature on your face, the sadness in your stare couldn’t be hidden. He just knew you too well, just like the palm of his hand, and he wanted to make you forget. At least for a little. You had taken care of him, helped him with your presence and your unique aura, bringing him comfort and peace to his broken mind. He wanted you to be fine. To feel loved.

Logan leaned just exactly to brush his lips with your own, teasing a kiss that he longed too much, his hands around your waist pulling you towards him.

“Can you just let me take care of you?”

Swallowing hard the knot on your throat, you curled your lips as much as the grief let you. “Yes,” you nodded.

With this, Logan leaned until your lips connected. Your arms around his neck pulled him as closer as you could get, feeling his chest against your own, his strong hands around your waist, softly touching you above your clothes.

Logan slowly walked you until your back hit the desk, hands roaming on your ass down to your legs, placing you to sit down over the loose pages. It might ruin the work a little, but none of you cared. Everything in your head was him, between your legs, running his wet mouth down your jaw, his stubble burning your skin as you gasped gently. Lying on your back on the desk, he began descending down your breasts, unbuttoning your blouse until he exposed you to the cold of the room.

He stopped right on your trousers, and gave you a quick glance. You were so eager, wet already. He could sense it. Your eyes were glowing and you were already trying to catch your breath by just his kisses and touch.

“You locked the door?” you whispered.

“Damn right I did,” he voiced, hoarse and low voice from just thinking of railing you right there and then.

“Then don’t stop.”

At your command, he unzipped your trousers, letting them fall down along with your heels on the floor. He then leaned to take your lips in a sloppy kiss, more urgent this time of feeling you close. You moaned, nails scratching his skin. His calloused hands explored your bare legs and things, creating friction with his hips with slow, controlled thrusts against your crotch. Logan left a trail of kisses down to your breasts, licking and tasting the saltiness of your body.

You urged him to go down where you ached the most, hand tangling on his hair. His hands grabbed the back of your thighs, spreading to him until his nose was almost buried on your panties, smelling and taking the sweetness of your scent, licking softly with his wet tongue over the fabric. A trail of moans and curses left your lips. He pulled your panties aside before diving in your pussy, licking your folds and teasing your hole with two of his fingers.

“Logan…”

His name repeatedly left your mouth like a plea, his fingers now inside you, stretching your walls for him. The noises grew obscene and nasty as he ate you out like a sweet craving he had been denying himself the pleasure for so long.

He was growing hard just by hearing your whimpers, and he needed you. You always were a fucking longing for him. Your words, your intelligence, your beauty… Everything he needed, you had it. And still, he didn’t have any idea of how such a rational, smart woman like you learned to love him so deeply.

You tugged on his hair, hips thrusting up to meet his growling mouth. You were so close, felt almost there where you wanted, but he pulled away before you finished.

Logan unzipped his jeans leaning back, admiring your blissed out eyes and glistened figure.

“Come here,” you begged in a whisper, tangling your legs around his waist.

He let out a low, dirty chuckle, feeling your hands on his boxers, freeing his erection.

“So fucking eager,” Logan breathed kissing your lips, hands supporting his weight at the sides of your head on the desk.

You tasted yourself within the kiss and you moaned at his words, your hand pumped him just enough to feel his pre cum leaking already, lining his dick with your cunt. Inch by inch, he entered slowly so you could get used to his size. Logan pecked your lips gently, kissing your cheeks and the side of your neck to get into your sensitive skin. You tugged on his white shirt so he could remove it and he ripped your bra apart right after. He loved to feel your chest pressed against his own. You gasped but paid no mind, instead urging him to move inside you.

“Shit, Logan please-”

A particular harsh trust caught your breath on your throat. You held onto dear life with your hands on his shoulders. He pounded into you rock hard and deep. So damn deep the desk was shrieking under, papers fell off and the lamp moved at the same rhythm but you hoped it won’t break.

Logan growled, inhaling your scent and tasting the sweat forming on your collarbone, your breasts bouncing against his chest. He felt your nails trailing down his back, and oh, how he wished he could get damn scars on just by fucking you like this. But the view of you, squirming under him, eyes closed, being a whimpering mess… All because of him. He was so insanely in love with your fucked out expression every time.

Your walls clenched, close to the sweet end. Logan felt himself twitching inside your warm pussy and his thrusts were getting erratic and sloppy. He filled you up, reaching his own climax first, hot white ropes of cum painting your insides. Your pussy milked him all the way as he kept spliting you open until you let yourself go, legs trembling around his waist.

For a moment, you stayed like this, with him kissing your shoulder and caressing your thigh, taking in the aftermath of your intense lovemaking.

“Thank you…”

Your whisper forced him to look up at you. There it was, that loving, sweet gaze you had reserved just for him.

He nodded, palm on your jaw holding you gently. “Of course…”

For some reason, he wanted to voice out for once those stupid three words.

I love you.

Or at least hoped you would do it first.

—

The night was cold under the moonlight, almost freezing. He wondered how he got trapped there, between the messy, withered shrubbery, fog, and the trees of a forest he never recalled knowing. He was alert, senses to the limit in case something might attack him. He felt as if he was being watched, but there were no eyes he could find around. He couldn’t see much like that.

But then a voice started to call his name from afar, claws coming out immediately as he sharpened his senses to find the owner. One, two, three times he heard, trying to find the person who was calling but there was only darkness. His heart skipped a beat when someone spoke behind him.

“Logan…”

He turned on his feet and he felt like dying again. “Jean?”

He withdrew his claws back immediately. The redhead smiled, coming closer until she touched his cheek with a soft hand before pulling away. “How are you, Logan?”

“What-”

“Are you happy now?” she asked, beaming brightly as if they were in a casual conversation instead of the darkness of the woods.

His brows furrowed. She couldn’t be real. She wasn’t there with him. Jean was gone, he had killed her because it was what she wanted. It was her way out to get what she needed; it was the key to her freedom…

“What do you mean?”

“With her… Be careful. You could kill her. Just like me,” Jean whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

Logan stepped back, trying to get away. He shook his head in disbelief, not knowing exactly why Jean was saying this to him.

“No… You’re not real…”

“Everything you love is destined to death and chaos, Logan. You shouldn’t be there,” Jean continued, her eyes switching from her usual tone to a deep black. The ground began trembling under their feet with each step of her, wind building up around. Logan felt truly scared, but somehow he couldn’t run, just stand there as she approached. “All she will know is a life of suffering if you stay. She doesn’t need that.”

“Jean-”

“She doesn’t need you!”

“Jean!”

And then it happened so fast. His claws buried on her chest, the Phoenix disappearing and leaving her to die. Jean collapsed against his body and Logan reminisced about the events of that battle, where he had to choose to be selfish or liberate her from her own demons. Logan wasn’t sure why he stabbed her like this. And when he thought Jean was dead in his arms, she started to call his name again. This time, he heard it far away.

Logan.

Logan…

Logan!

His eyes went wide open. And there you were, by his side on the bed, calling for him with a pain grimace on your face. His claws buried on your stomach.

“Logan…” you gasped and he pulled the claws out, but you were already bleeding, your nightshirt and the mattress stained.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry- I-”

“It’s okay,” you managed to say as he caressed your cheek before taking you in his arms hurriedly and quickly made the way out of your room through the halls. “The nightmares… I know, Logan…”

“God, I’m so sorry, please forgive me. Hank!” Logan stood outside the scientist’s door. “Hank, I need your help!”

The commotion caused some of the students to peek from their doors, and Logan waited outside what he felt it was forever under the gazes of the teenagers. It wasn’t the first time he had caused the same accident. The door opened, finally revealing a sleepy Hank putting his glasses on.

There was no need to explain what had happened.

—

“She’ll be stable soon,” Hank informed once he let Logan inside the med bay. “If you hadn’t brought her soon…”

Logan swallowed the knot on his throat, watching your unconscious figure on the stretcher. You already had received blood to cover up what you lost because of the wounds, and Logan’s claws were not minor weapons. His mind was a mess, confusion taking over. He didn’t know how he let this happen. He had nightmares pretty often, yes, but nothing like this.

Maybe Jean was right. Maybe she was trying to warn him about something. Or Jean was just trying to protect you from him. The last one felt more realistic. Logan wouldn’t hurt you, not ever. You talked about how dangerous it was to sleep together not so long ago, but you had insisted on staying. It was the first time something felt so damn real in his dreams and he wished you wouldn’t let him in your room that night…

“She’ll wake up, right?” Logan asked.

“Absolutely,” Hank nodded. “I will need to monitor her vital signs though, hopefully within a day or two she will be normal again… At least she’ll be stable until the wounds heal completely.”

Of course, Logan thought. You didn’t have a healing factor just like him.

“I’ll be right back,” Hank announced before stepping out of the room, leaving Logan alone.

He felt so guilty for doing this to you. For everything. For being the cause of your suffering now. He was a threat and mentally unstable. He was strong thanks to his genes, but he was weak on the inside. He promised countless times to protect you, but he couldn’t avoid hurting you himself. It didn’t matter that it was a very bad dream that felt disgustingly real, he had failed and hurted someone who truly loved. Again.

Taking your hand gently into his, he leaned to plant a kiss on your forehead, wishing it would be just another game from his mind.

But it wasn’t. Now, he had the person he loved the most lying unconscious and hurted because he would let his darkest thoughts consume him.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, watching you sleep peacefully. “I should have said it sooner.”

PART TWO

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