#I wanted to try posting my writing for people to see since the fic itself is getting views but no feedback

[lovelytayforce]

The Amusing Novelty Of Photography - Chapter 2: Rush of Rain

Dot found herself moving before she could think her plan through. She pulled herself up and dashed upwards on what felt similar to the steepest hill she had ever hiked up! Her Ion blaster dangled and swung wildly at her side until she took it into her hand and didn’t hesitate to warm it up. “Megatron,” It was scorching, even the mist below that formed between their firepower seemed to slowly turn into a sauna between two hot-blooded machines. “I need you to trust me and move to the left.” She could almost hear his audible “What?” echo from below in her earpiece. Her brown eyes shimmered in the direct beam of the sun as she watched Starscream’s signature null ray attempt to outshine their own planet’s star above before she took a shot at Soundwave’s head. “Just trust me.” There was no moment of hesitation in those harsh few seconds as the smoke of her overworked blaster was blown to the wayside as Megatron made a feign of attack before backing away. Before the null ray could even flash their way, Soundwave’s optics met her eyes. It was strange being seen by him, noticed to the point of looking between each other’s souls. She could see even with his visor there was nothing there but unbridled rage, hurt, and something so recognizably human, that it almost pained her to keep gazing into them. Wistfulness. Her finger clicked on the trigger and she silently wondered what he witnessed within her eyes. Did he also feel as if they had connected, or was he too blinded by his pain to see who and what she was. ‘Because I saw the living being that you are…’ Dot thought. ‘Dr. Meridian was wrong…’ The shot missed his head by mere seconds, and the null ray caused a huge explosion of water and electronics in the area to spring to life only to stop in a frozen state. Dot stood up, never looking away from the blue mech as Megatron looked back up into the sky, putting the dots together for the eventual assassination attempt. “Which means you can’t use your signature move.” It was a risky but smart plan if Megatron had been alone, nullifying them all on equal terms with a two-on-one. The failure of their plan rained upon them. The sound that was usually comforting was eerie around the anger-induced smoke that spilled from Soundwave’s vents. Despite that, he kept pushing his frame to make noise even if it rattled his frame painfully as he kept staring holes into her person. Megatron for once, did not exist in his peripheral vision. It was just Dot and Soundwave. Her hands shook as she watched him, no one seemed to know what to do. It all depended on how he reacted. Through rain and smoke, Soundwave lifted his right servo, his sharp digits pointed toward her and she could see the shine of Megatron’s bright red optics reflected in the metal of them. They were in the form of a gun. Skywarp teleported in shortly and that was when Megatron moved. The sound of jet engines blasting off in the distance was loud. Soundwave made a gesture of shooting her with that servo of his and before Megatron could properly shoot at them. They disappeared. The rain stopped. And all the soldiers' guns slowly fell to the wayside to cool off for the day. Okay, cool,

And like that

We really mean it this time

I guarantee another era is upon us

~ Link for the full story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52059640/chapters/131659042

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

Fixing MHA's Ending So It Follows Through With Its Core Themes (And It Basically Fixes Itself)

I don't like retconning at the best of times, but turning what started as essentially a Hope focused narrative into a "realistic" tragedy at the very last second is some wild work.

So I'm gonna do what I do best as a fic writer and fix it!!!!!

The Summary

So, I'm pretty sure all of us were on mostly the same page up until the very last panels of the Shigaraki fight (Having AFO being just "born evil" was probably the start of things not being great, but I'm willing to let that slide because it doesn't really effect the overall function of the story that much). Once that and the epilogue started is where I mostly saw people being like ????????? to a lot of choices, so I'm going to focus on those two sections only.

We're gonna be rewriting:

-The deaths of the Villains + Kurogiri (obvs)

-The overall post-War actions and reactions

-The continued existence of the Commission and the Hero Rankings

-Hawk's fate

-Spinner's fate

-A liiiiitle tweak to Chisaki's fate

-Slight tweaks to the Todorokis

-and finally What to DO with the Villains + Kurogiri now that they're alive

And we'll be starting with...

Toga

Now for a battle that was so beautiful, this really did end up completely falling apart.

I'm not gonna justify every single Villain Rescue I do, but Toga's really comes down to one simple reason for me:

Her bullies literally wanted her to die as atonement.

You don't...typically make your character's fate agree with their bullies or abusers (otherwise???? why are you explicitly portraying them as bullies and abusers to the audience if you want us to ultimately agree with them?????)

Throughout most of the story prior to this, Hori made it a staple in the show that dying for the cause, hurting yourself for the cause, martyring yourself or otherwise telling someone to kill themselves for the cause is a vile thing to do. So, it makes ZERO sense why he would suddenly retcon this at such a critical moment, especially since he already set the stage for it to be wrong in the first place.

(also does anyone also think it was weird/creepy that Hori LITERALLY has her do this with Twice and she very explicitly says "Don't be stupid I don't have to give all of my blood away"? No? Just me?)

Everything happens the same, she still thinks she's sacrificing herself, "If only, if only", blah blah blah

AND THEN...

Hawks

This is such low-hanging fruit plot-wise it actually feels offensive that it went nowhere

Nothing happens with Hawks. We all say it, fans and non-fans alike. He is wasted potential incarnate. His story is a circle and it so easily did not have to be that way because of one simple writing decision:

Hawks and Toga share a blood type.

Up until now, it really did seem like Hawks learned nothing from Jin's death. The first thing he says when he sees the clones is, "We have to kill them now!" But then, picture him still battered and broken from his fight with AFO, wingless, but there is still SOMETHING he can do to save someone's life.

And he puts the needle in his arm instead, and before she can question it, he tells her Jin would want her to live. He's not gonna make the same mistake twice.

(I also think it'd be nice if he said something like how lucky she is, to really go full circle with the Jin story, but I'm not trying dialogue here lol)

And that leads us to...

Shigaraki (and Kurogiri!)

This is a double feature because with the way I'm doing it, I can't save one without the other.

So, something that happens during this and is super anti-climactic and seemingly pointless is Midoriya losing his hands. He gets em back in like 2 seconds, because Eri gives him a surprise rewind almost immediately after. The actual point of it was just to show the brand new rule that physical damage that happens in the vestige world also happens in the real world, so that killing Shigaraki a few chapters later would still make sense.

We're gonna get rid of that rule entirely and just say that Midoriya does not lose his actual arms in the fight, and psychological damage in a ghost world does not reflect physically in reality (or idk. If you DO want that to happen, then just say the embers of the vestiges protected him one last time or something).

And because he doesn't lose his arms, Eri still has a surprise rewind to use.

But before we get to that, we actually have to save Shigaraki. So, here's the super complicated rescue rewrite I came up with. Ready?

Kicking AFO out of his brain and giving him back full control over his body simply does not kill him.

That's it!!!! That's really all that needed to happen!! It was a very conscious choice to make that kill him! It's actually more work and details to kill Shigaraki than it is to save him!! Hori already went out of his way to say that Nana's vestige protected him so that he wasn't completely swallowed by AFO, just so he could say goodbye before fading away anyway. What if, considering the fact that hatred of Nana is what damned him, love FROM Nana actually just plain ol saves him? Full stop? We come full circle. It would make it a fantastic mirror to the Todoroki fight and solidify the theme that love from your/a family, even a broken one, will save you!!

And then further in the background, Bakugou doesn't randomly kill (?????? Even after reading it again I'm still really confused about how Kurogiri dies. I think this is what happens?????) Kurogiri, and instead starts to lose control like they feared. But then, refusing to give up on him, Aizawa hits him with the now-available Rewind Juice and it finally, finally stabilizes his mind for good.

The day is saved.

And that just leaves...

Touya

Unfortunately my stupid husband can't stop trying to kill himself for 2 seconds despite my best efforts to convince him otherwise, so there's really nothing I can do about the extent of his injuries

However, there's LOTS I can do about the way we're treating said injuries! =D

First of all, because Touya is my favorite, I do wanna allow myself the space to briefly rant about how his entire situation was handled because brother. first of all. It's so incredibly obvious that he was supposed to die on the battlefield with his comrades. That man had no fuckin eyeballs by the end of that fight, bffr. And then it was like Hori remembered the thing about the noodles and was like 'oh shit I better at least wrap that up lol' so he brought him back--eyeballs and TEARDUCTS magically intact btw so naturally the audience with reading comprehension was like 'oh he's healing somehow I guess'--just to get that specific moment on the books (and maybe just to draw Touya in his Batman Who Laughs era because I mean he does look pretty sick in the tank) and then turned around and killed him again. With no explanation what the random functioning tearducts and magical regrowth of eyeballs was about.

Like...my guy, you ain't gotta do all that. Again, it's so much harder and more complicated to kill him than it is to keep him alive. Not to mention he was killed OFF-SCREEN. WE DON'T EVEN GET TO SEE ANY--IF ANY--CONVERSATIONS HE HAS WITH SHOUTO OR HIS FAMILY, WHICH WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF NOT KILLING HIM ON THE BATTLEFIELD. INSTEAD OF THE SEXY SHIRTLESS SERVING-FACE-AT-A-FUNERAL IMAGE OF TOUYA WE COULD'VE SEEN A FLASHBACK OF THEM TALKING AND HIM SMILING AND BEING HAPPY WITH THEM FOR WHATEVER TIME THEY HAD AND THAT STILL WOULD'VE BEEN MORE SATISFYING. Y'KNOW. BECAUSE THAT WAS THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF THE TODOROKI PLOTLINE?????????????VSSSBBNM,.;;PUSAAXXGHIIRWDFGG

But anyway.

Fixing Touya's death is really simple. We can do two things, actually.

Work with the deus-ex Ice Quirk a little bit, make the Phoenix Theory canon. Ice heals him, the tank is a giant fridge. Lo and behold, it would explain why he magically healed eyeballs and tearducts. It's an incredibly slow process, but eventually he'd heal enough to be out of the tank and in a normal hospital setting for the rest of his recovery. It also gives him a goal to pursue for the future, I.E learning how to control the new side of his powers and mayybeeee getting interested in studying Quirk Biology in the process 👀

He simply!!!!!! Doesn't die!!!!!!!!! Out of ALLLLLLL the MHA characters, I would 100% believe you if you told me that Touya Todoroki nevertheless persisted. That's like...his entire character. You don't even need to give me a reason. His entire character up until now has been 'the one that's somehow still alive' to the point that the fucking Dr. Eggman lookin ass mad scientist that brought him back to life in the first place (in WORSE condition) was like 'yeah no idea how he's still here that's scary'. I'm sorry, the entire fucking show I've had to see A. An old man without a face with a back alley ventilator system shoved directly into his stoma that's somehow fine and talking perfectly, and B. Another old man missing his ENTIRE digestive tract for years and is still up and walking around somehow with no G-tube or colostomy bag to be seen, so I think by the power of God and Anime, Touya could probably survive his injuries and it would be within the realm of believability for the show. In fact, it's LESS believable that he stayed alive through all that by spite alone and then when he finally gets offered love and acceptance, that determination and tenacity to stay alive suddenly goes out the window. If anything, it should've made him MORE determined to live.

Sorry I got carried away with that one. But there. Everyone is saved and the core themes are intact.

Now we just have...

The Overall Actions and Reactions Post-War

Gonna sum this up really quickly:

-The cameras never turned off. They're built for Quirk resistance because they're a fucking newscast in a Hero society if their technology broke every time there were heavy Quirk exchanges there would never be any fucking news. Making them conveniently lose footage so none of the civs can see the Villains humanity is just rubbing salt in the wound and serves no narrative purpose in line with pre-established themes. Everyone saw what was recorded, and it helped the Villains' cases for rehabilitation.

-We do not censor out this battle in future history books. Everyone is very familiar with the final fight and the events and circumstances leading up to it. It is not erased from public memory as soon as possible. In fact, it's frequently studied and referenced when making new policies to avoid making the same mistakes. Hori. Wtf.

-We do not reinstate the Hero Rankings in any way shape or form, and Shouto is the biggest voice in dismantling this system. Voila, this is now actually the story of how they all became the greatest Heroes, because they aren't ranked. They're all literally the greatest Heroes, and so will everyone after them.

-This IS actually portrayed in the epilogue, but yes, let's be LESS reliant on Heroes and police and MORE invested in the community!!!!!!! Even more so than what's portrayed!!!!! Take another bit from Spider-Man: Anyone can wear the mask!!!!!! Let's make a world where Heroes have too much time on their hands and not just make more of them, right????????? Remember that????????

-WE DO NOT REINSTATE THE COMMISSION. WE GOT RID OF THEM CORRUPT HOES FOR A REASON!!!!!! NO A CHANGE OF THE GUARD IS NOT ENOUGH TO FIX IT WE'RE NOT 7YRS OLD!!!!! HORI. WTF. The only thing I want them to be in charge of is licensing Heroes. I want these fuckers to be the DMV of the Hero world and that's IT!!!!!!!

Which brings us to...

Hawks' Fate

I don't even fuck with this man like that, but he did not deserve to become CEO of the organization that groomed and abused him since he was a child when all he wanted to do was chase tail and fuck off to a beach somewhere. Considering the fact that he also, like, killed people he shouldn't have, let him retire like Endeavor, please. We're done giving the old guard power and privilege, especially when they explicitly did not and do not want it (and when they did have it, they misused it). The only thing I want this man involved with is Toga's recovery alongside Uraraka. Specifically, I want him paying for it and anything else she might need. Fuck it, you know what, make HIM Endeavor's personal aide instead of Rei!!!! He gets to be a little simp and Endeavor gets a replacement son to fill Natsu's spot. Everyone wins.

(He does deserve that hairline tho. I ain't fixin that.)

So that leaves...

Spinner's Fate

I'm not changing much here, besides the fact that now Shiggy is alive and I think they should be ✨Roommates✨ eventually (and obviously he's gonna be much less riddled with survivor's guilt). I still think he should write that book, but I also think that with his multiple Quirks, he should team up with scientists to understand how Quirks work in the body (and maybe get some of them removed from his).

And next...

Chisaki's Fate

I just think this guy needs to be in the same place as the other Villains, at least for a fraction of the time. Why is he just...out. He was also in that daycare and could definitely use some help before we just let him loose in the streets because he said sorry (Can the League just say sorry then??????????).

I do think afterwards he should get involved with something chemistry related tho, cause those bullets of his came in clutch.

And on that note...

The Todorokis' Fates

And by Todorokis I mean two of them, specifically Rei lol

Yeah, she's not gonna be Endeavor's nurse for the rest of her life lol. That man has more money than God, he can hire an aide like everybody else. In fact, they're not even living together. Do you remember how earlier in the series, he gave them a new house? So they could live away from him and he would be in the old house by himself? I liked that plan. Let's go back to that plan. I'm not gonna go as far as to make them divorce, if they're together they're together, but I think separation is a necessary must at this point because if they MUST stay together, they should at least try dating for once???????? Girl was actually bought like maybe they figure out if they even still like each other at all, or ever did.

(Also, I have to laugh as a motorized wheelchair user that Hori drew her pushing Endeavor all happy and blissfully. Motorized wheelchairs are not meant to be pushed like that lol. They have push features for emergencies and small around-the-house distances of course, but uh, mine's 350 pounds without me in it. It's not usually anyone's first choice.)

But there is one more Todoroki I have a lot to talk about, so that finally brings us to...

What Do We Do With The Villains + Kurogiri Now That They're Alive???????????

We take everything from comic books except what would actually makes sense with the story lol

Surprise!!!!!! We're doing Arkham!!!!!! This is another low-hanging fruit thing that I'm almost a little offended that it wasn't implemented. Obviously Arkham has its problems in the Batman canon that we're gonna try to avoid, but I honestly think Batman villains and the core MHA Villains are pretty similar in their execution in that they are primarily mentally ill victims of society who have done very terrible things, but the audience (and Batman himself) is actively rooting for them to get better over just rotting in jail or being killed. Two-Faced has killed sooooo many people and has relapsed a ton, but I ultimately still want to see him get better because he was Batman's best friend once and a good man, and what happened to him was a tragedy. I think all the Villains deserve a space where they can humanely heal from their issues and gain support, while also being safely separated from society while they're still dangerous to themselves and others.

Oh, but Batman and his endless money bought Arkham. Who do we know who has access to trust fund money, an investment in the mentally ill, and the bonus of a medical background that could fund such a thing?

Ladies and Gentlemen, please put your hands together for...

Natsuo Todoroki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mans graduates from college and immediately uses his money as a doctor and his inheritance to open up Rindou Sanctuary, in honor of his mother Rei and named after her favorite flower (I don't think he'd want to give Enji the satisfaction of his last name attached to his greatest achievement). He's head doctor on site and the board, and visits Touya every shift once he's healed enough to be transferred to the facility. He is very invested in his brother's treatment and refuses to lose him again--at least not until they're proper old men.

It is publicly funded by donors and taxes alike, and Enji, naturally, is always the highest donor. Call it reparations.

And there you have it! That's how to fix the epilogue. It took longer to type than think about. I could care less about canon shipping, so y'all can keep that (or not). I'm just here to fix the structural problems that have no reason to be here at this point. As I said, once I redrew lines Hori already set up and just abandoned, it pretty much fixed itself.

Hope you enjoyed it and I hope it eases the grief a little!!!!! They're alive look I fixed it!!!!!! <3

(also feel free to use anything I said in here in your own fix-it fics!!!! Just tag me so I can read them 👀)

[blkkizzat]

tw: discourse, plagiarism, drama, etc. im a bit snarky here but i reserve that right. the truth could never be a diss.

I hate that it had to come to this as I have had this blog since Aug 2023 without ever having to do something like this. But being gaslit and when people start blatantly playing in my face like I’m stupid is where I draw the line. I will not tolerate any kind of plagiarism with fics I work hard to create for free while working full-time and going to grad school.

Tumblr user @/rissouu has plagiarized my work. Specifically part 3 of Plug!Choso fic (with minor things from the end of part 2) with their brat taming/plug!choso smut drabble. I posted p3 of my fic on 7/3/24 they posted their drabble on 1/1/25 [screenshots below].

Note: This is not a direct word for word copy, but heavy detailed inspiration including dialogue, actions, reactions, sexual situations, etc. It’s been said to me by many other people I have consulted to get their opinions, that it reads like a watered down, condensed, version of my smut scene —and I would have to wholeheartedly agree.

(more details below)

Now to be clear: I do NOT own any concept. I hope I can effectively convey in this post I am NOT doing all this because someone wrote plug!choso or brat taming!choso and combined them. There has been plenty of both, even combined, well before I even wrote my fic and has been in the months after, none of them have been anything like my fic. Also these have BEEN my sentiments as I expressed this months ago when I kept getting TNMN concept asks/dms after my fics:

Not to mention I give tutorials and share methods of how to do my graphics, formatting fics, writing tips, etc as I believe in knowledge and information sharing. I haven’t ever played gatekeeper on a single thing. 

Sidenote: 98% of the people who have ever tagged me as inspo credit per my statement above didn't even need to do so. But I appreciate they did. It shows their character and integrity that they would even consider doing so when its not 100% needed nor expected, so thank you!

the drabble @/rissouu posted is on the far left column and specific excerpts from my plug!choso fic are in boxes in the middle and to the right. Each box on the drabble is color-coded and connected to corresponding boxes with my excerpts. Every single paragraph connects to my fic: 

Now, the crazy thing here is @/rissouu even tags this drabble #plug!choso as the first tag. Yet there is not one mention of drugs or plugs or even a damn ibuprofen anywhere lmfao. When confronted on this they said—

"it's strictly to give that kind of aggressive/dominant or stoner man vibes, so i don't care as much to input it into the writing itself. me tagging it as 'plug choso' [...] is simply to reach out to my audiences who like the concept of plug!choso. i do this mostly for my girlies of color who i try to reach out to more because it's what they request and like." [full convo screens at the very bottom]

Now, I'm ignoring the problematic implications that only poc girls would like or write plugs, so I'm gonna table that and y'all can make what you want of it. What I want to focus on is this weakass excuse. It's the fact that writing a plug/drug dealer fics does not make that character automatically aggressive or outwardly stoner. There's infinite ways to write a single concept [and as someone who has actually done alot of party drugs and had many dealers living in nyc before, the best dealers are the ones who don't look or act like ones!]. So it's mind boggling a writer would explicitly tag a concept because they were too lazy to actually write it in the fic. Then assumes everyone will interpret it the exact same way and get their meaning from the tag of a generic concept and not their actual story lol 😭. Insanity.

100% transparency, I thought the fic was rip way before I even got to the bottom to see the plug!choso tag. The tag just confirmed it more for me.

Now even with ALL this, I still likely wouldn’t have brought it to the TL. Even though I think it’s clear she took inspo from me and is straight lying through her teeth, I could have let it go. However the next thing @/rissouu did was so insane and shameless, I can't let it go. Like personal creativity and imagination in the trenches but plenty of audacity to spare. This is just a slap in the face.

So the timeline (pst) goes like this:

@6:20pm @/rissouu replies a few times, she explicitly says she will read my chapter to see if there are any similarities. [full convo screens at the bottom]

@7:06pm I posted rm!choso and babydaddy!toji who reader has a baby girl with but they broke up.

@8:59pm @/rissouu posts babydaddy!Choso who reader has a baby girl by but they broke up and takes ANOTHER part of dialogue/reaction from p3 of plug!choso.

Is this real life?

I know if someone accused me of plagiarizing them and I told them I would read their work to check… I wouldn’t in less than 3 hours later post a drabble with one of the same concepts from a fic they just posted 2 hrs ago, and then turn around use the more dialogue/reactions from the other fic they just accused me of stealing from, that I just told them I was going to read!! And I for damn sure wouldn’t have claimed to have just “pulled this outta my ass” !?!? Like @/rissouu really said, fuck all of what kali saying and her artistic integrity with this post loud and clear lmfaooo.

Sorry but *in remy ma voice* b*tch is you DUMB!? Like I know I'm cracking jokes right now, but this situation is so ridiculous it’s gotta be a joke, so I’m treating it like one. They clownin’ with the whole damn circus cause wtf is this 😭😭?? 

You know what else is circus behavior? This disclaimer: 

Lol… so consequences for everyone else but you girl? Okay lmfao. Like such aggressive disclaimers for someone doing exactly that.

Ironic though that all 3 times I have had to confront someone about plagiarism/inspo (in dms) in the past couple months I have been gaslit in the exact same ways.

Their first defense is always “this is a common concept” —Sure, but it shouldn’t be executed in the exact same way, so closely to my fic that's why I'm speaking up.

Their second defense is always, “oh I have written this [topic, headcanon, dialogue] before.” Great. I’m not speaking of those prior times, I’m ONLY concerned that 100% of their current drabble mirrors my fic. They could have written 50 drabbles on this topic/concept, there's no reason any of them should so closely mirror mine.

Finally, the third thing is (after proof is given): “well you don’t own the use of these details or these words. so I didn't copy!” No, I don’t own the individual words or phrases or actions. What I DO own is how those individual words, phrases or actions come together in the fic I wrote. The fic that @/rissouu mirrored and diluted. 

One more thing before screenshots of the full convo. You can see on the very first one below that I had been following @/rissouu for 11 months lol, so since 1 month after they created their account. Granted, I don’t think we’ve interacted much at all as I do follow lots of people but I try to spend most of my free time writing or interacting with commenters, anons, closer moots or those who reach out to me. But I know for a fact i've seen them in my notifications before liking things, even in the last week and I honestly thought they followed me at one point lol. That's one of the reasons I was shocked to discover this. So the fact they would try to say they never heard of me or my story or seen my fics ever is looney tunes fr. Not to mention plug!choso is probably the fic people have recco'd the most from me. None of that is important to me though, so I don’t really care about anything but the facts that she took heavy inspo from me and is refusing to even acknowledge that it's pretty weird/odd/uncommon considering how similar they are. (sorry i would have taken screenshots of notifications but i barely got the chat before it disappears after two ppl block each other)

screenshots of our convo here:

As you can see, they apparently think i'm casper. they refuse to acknowledge they know me, or take it down, or give me credit and has me blocked now, so here we are.

Lastly... no one under any circumstances should be harassing or sending anyone hate! If you don’t like what they did, unfollow/block. If you don’t like what I am doing now or don’t agree, unfollow/block. I won't be offended if you do, if you don't like me , you don't like me. Please curate your own experiences.

Also, may choose to answer clarifying questions about this in public asks or comments but I reserve the right not to (even if you are in support of me). Honestly this is all so mentally draining and taking away from the things I actually want to do with my blog and I always feel really bad when I miss responding to comments people leave on my stories/works. So I will likely mute notifications on this. Like I could have been actually writing the many fics in my backlog last night or answering the very sweet or slutty asks in my inbox instead of writing this. I've always tried to keep my blog a pretty positive, goofy, unserious, slutty and drama-free place and I won't let this change that.

Additionally, no overly hateful/bashing comments towards me or @/rissouu will be answered/tolerated. If tumblr had an option to turn off comments on individual posts, I would for this one. I'm not going to waste time justifying something that is clear as day to me and many others. If anyone wants to play Stevie Wonder too, go for it! Nor do I want to waste energy bashing someone and beating a dead horse. I know what they did, they know what they did. @/rissouu wants to steal, lie and play games? Let them do it on their own, I guess. Clout is a helluva drug and I suppose my Plug!Choso was the best dealer for that but call me Desiree Perez cause imma snitch!

I'd prefer anyone really wanting to talk with me about this further and has something to say —good or bad, DM me.

—🎀 Kali

[beamtori]

𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐝 (𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐢)

nonidol!eric sohn x rem!reader

2.3k words, smut (minors dni), p in v sex, reader is on birth control for convenience of hitting it raw, swearing, kissing, fingering, creampie (such an interesting word...), my weird ver of aftercare cuz how tf do u do aftercare post-getting railed at a party 😭, pet names (baby, sweetheart, hon, pretty boy), he's sweet, i think i got it all skfnksndkd

a/n: this is a second part to this fic occupied on my main writing blog! reading part one is not mandatory at all !! for @mosviqu <3 i hope it's not cringy skdnksjd also special thanks to @ethereal-engene and @winterchimez (i feel like there's always a thank u section to these 💀)

You were wearing his cap—a muted red with a rip in the fabric on the side. It was nearly impossible to miss as you clinked your plastic cup against Han Jisung's and toasted to a night of whatever was to come. (Hopefully you.)

Just about an hour ago, you'd come to find your best friend at this party after departing ways with your university baseball team's shortstop, Eric Sohn. He had obligations and an emergency to attend to, so you were biding your time around the place in case he ever wanted to pick up where you two left off. Along the way, you'd found the red cap he was wearing somewhere on the floor and put it on. Maybe it could be a beacon or some shit.

"—that's crazy, man," Jisung chuckled, shaking his head from over the rim of his cup. "I know I said I didn't wanna cockblock you, but I really didn't cockblock you this time."

You rolled your eyes. The liquid in your cup was a bit of tequila watered down with orange juice for a makeshift margarita. It was a little liquid courage in case you needed it. "Yeah, yeah. It was important, so I don't blame him." Though, you could hardly hide the disappointment behind your words.

Your friend gave you a sideways grin. "Well, the night is still young, my friend. Plenty of hot people around to scratch your itch."

"Well, I hope out of all of them, you still choose me."

Startled, you swiveled on your heel and came face to face with one sheepish-looking Eric. He had his hand clasping the back of his neck, brown hair a little more mussed from whatever emergency had arisen. His white shirt was still clinging to only a couple buttons—you had both been in a bit of a rush earlier.

"Felix? What's that? You need to tell me something—?" Jisung made a very swift exit, shooting a pair of finger guns at you.

You arched your brows as Eric came closer. "I think I'm scoping out my options," you teased, lifting your cup to your lips and draining the last bit of the spiked orange juice. You placed your empty cup on the table behind you, watching his eyes trace the path your tongue took along your lower lip.

The corner of his lips curled upward and he set his hand on the table. "Any way I can sway your judgment?" He asked. "I'm getting a bit of déjà vu."

"You have previous references," you shrugged. "I think I can trust that you're the man for the job." Despite your nonchalance, your heart was throwing itself against your ribcage like it was ready for a prison break.

Eric's other hand caged you in, his low chuckle sending a zap down your spine. "Well since my previous references check out, I'll just make sure you like what you saw."

He leaned in closer to you, and you met him in the middle. Your kiss tasted like oranges now, with the slight sharpness of the alcohol. His brows creased as he cupped your jaw and massaged his tongue with yours, trying to figure it out.

You pulled away, and he lifted the brim of his red cap to see your eyes better. "This looks familiar," he grinned.

"Does it now? Well, I'm sorry to say, but finders keepers," you said, switching the cap from front-facing to backward.

His eyes gleamed in the low lighting, and there was a smug sort of curl to his smile. "You're way hotter in it anyways."

Heat rushed to your neck. "If you keep complimenting me…"

"Then what?" He asked, voice dropping. He was in your space, front pressed to yours, lips a teasing hairsbreadth away. The back of his knuckles found your cheek in a gentle caress, a lover's purr. "If I keep complimenting you, then what?"

This was the second time you both lost the hat. You couldn't remember if this was the same room or not—you didn't really care—but you were fumbling for the lock behind you with your brain turning to mush by the way Eric was kissing you. Clearly, you couldn't multitask. His hand slipped down where yours was to twist the lock and entangle his fingers with yours.

His shirt came off a lot faster this time, your fingers used to the slim buttons, but also because he literally only had two of them to undo. The shirt went missing, and Eric's hands roamed from your waist over your backside and to the backs of your thighs. Waiting for something.

"There's a bed," he said between breaths, kisses, laps of his tongue—

"Good to know," you mused.

He scooped you up, your ankles locked behind his back. Your back hit the cool sheets and you found yourself peering up at one beautiful man. Eric Sohn was a marvel in himself to look upon, but this was a nice angle.

He kissed you again, enough to drive you up toward the headboard, his body following after yours like a shadow. His arm dented the mattress beside your head to brace himself over you, the other tucking itself beneath the hem of your shirt to grab your side.

You gasped something sharp. His mouth latched onto the side of your neck, suckling the hot skin there until you were seeing stars. Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair until they were messy, messy, messy—

"Eric," you exhaled, the sound like a whimper.

He hummed against you. "Yeah baby?"

Your fingers tapped against the nape of his neck. "Let me get my shirt off."

"Good idea." He unattached himself from you for the split second it took to rip your shirt over your head.

For good measure, you reached behind yourself and unclasped your bra, tossing it over the side of the bed. Eric's eyes glued themselves to your chest, rising and falling with the breaths you were trying to regain. He licked his lips, and you found yourself smiling.

"What?" You asked, a nervous laugh bubbling up from your throat.

He swallowed and shook his head. His hand smoothed over the back of your head in a soothing manner. "You're just so pretty. Can I…?"

You might as well have gone into cardiac arrest. "Yeah," you nodded.

The last thing you saw was the glint of his grin. He ducked beneath your chin and you lost your breath at the feeling of his lips wrapping around your perked nipple. You clutched at his hair—swore something colorful when his hand came up to squeeze your other breast. It was the rough pads of his fingers against your skin, the nip of his teeth, the bite of the cold rings on his fingers.

He lifted his lips off your chest, your boobs glistening in spit. He gave them an affectionate squeeze and pressed his lips against yours. "You can say no," he murmured against you, "whenever you want. This train stops whenever you want it to."

"Okay," you said. You appreciated that from him. "I want you to keep going."

"Mmmh, atta girl." You could feel his smile against your lips.

His body pressed down against you, the weight present but comforting in a way. You moaned as his hips grinded into yours and you raised yours in a desperate attempt to gain friction. Both of your movements were frantic now as you fumbled for buttons and zippers and kicked away pants—out of the way.

You reached your hand between your bodies and cupped the outline of his cock through his boxers, drawing a sharp inhale from Eric's lips. He pressed his sweaty forehead against yours, rutting his hips into your palm. "Ugh, baby."

"I'm on the pill," you said and squeezed him.

His eyes screwed shut, and his fingers found the wet spot on the underside of your panties. "You're—you're on the pill? Fuck, you're so wet."

He pressed a hurried kiss to your lips, yanking the hem of your underwear down. Cool air hit the wetness clinging to your pussy, and you shivered. He lost the boxers, your underwear following suit.

"Spread wide for me," his voice rumbled. "There you go, baby." He swiped the pad of his finger down the middle, drawing a shuddering breath from you. "Sounds pretty, looks pretty—mmh, tastes pretty." His finger popped out from his mouth, and he used that same one to draw enchanting infinity signs over your clit.

"Fuck," you swore, your hand digging into his shoulder.

Eric ground his hardened cock into the mattress as he watched you fall apart. He bit his lip, replacing his index with his thumb and dipping a finger into your hole.

"Oh god—"

He curled his finger inside you. "C'mon, pretty girl," he drawled, lazily pumping his finger in and out of you. The ring adorning his finger bumped against your lower lips in greeting. "Say my name."

"Eric, please," you said and pushed your hips toward him, wanting and wanting and wanting more—needing more.

His kiss was softer this time. When he leaned over, you felt the heaviness of his hardened cock over your thigh, the precome beading at the tip dripping onto you. "Yeah, baby. I got you."

He pushed another finger into your weeping folds and dug his thumb down into your puffy nub. You felt the tension mounting in your stomach, the knot winding up.

Before you could reach a precipice, he withdrew his hand clean from you.

Your eyes shot open. "Eric."

"Yn," he teased. He adjusted himself slightly, then took the hand he'd been fingering you with to slicken up his cock with a couple pumps. The sight made your tongue dry. A muscle in his jaw feathered and he braced himself over you to line his cock up with your entrance.

His tip rubbed against your pussy lips and collected the juices dripping out—you held your breath, wrestling yourself onto your forearms to watch him sink into you, inch by inch.

Eric swallowed your moans with his mouth, your fingers digging into his bicep to anchor yourself. Your brain was melting and you grasped the back of his neck as his length filled you up, a muscle feathering so attractively in his jaw.

Once he was seated to the hilt, he guided you to lay flat on the bed again, his arms braced on either side of your head. "You good, baby?" He asked you, breathing shallow.

You nodded for him.

He buried his face in your neck and his sweat-matted hair tickled your chin, his hot breath against your skin. You fucking mewled when he started moving in you—at first, a gentle rocking of his hips to test the waters, his cock pulling out halfway before thrusting back in again. His breathing was heavy in your ear, the sound turning into grunts as his strokes lengthened.

"Let me hear you, sweetheart." His hand found purchase with the soft flesh of your ass, hiking your leg up and around his back. "Feel so good around me—squeezing me just right."

His knees angled his hips upward, and you swore you saw stars when his tip curved up slightly and hit a sensitive spot inside you. You cried out, "Shit—holy fuck."

"Is that the spot, baby?"

You clenched down on him and a sluice of curses engraved themselves into your skin. "Eric, that's the spot. That's the spot. Pleasepleaseplease—" Your nails dug into the muscles of his back as you held on for dear life. The headboard of the bed knocked against the wall in tandem with how he drove into you.

Pressure mounted in your lower belly like molten fire, begging to be fanned and fueled to erupt, goddamn it. You were begging to be pushed over the edge and you could taste it with the salty sweat on your tongue.

"Can you come for me, hon? You're close aren't you?" He grunted.

You nodded, head bobbing vigorously, arching further into him. "Close, Eric. So fucking close."

Eric reached down between your bodies and kneaded the pad of his thumb down over your clit. Your breath hitched as the stimuli crested over and you were crying out for him. He coaxed you through it, his strokes becoming more desperate as he fucked his way to his own high.

You squirmed from sensitivity and whimpered. "Eric, Eric, Eric—"

"Fuck, baby, where do you want me?" He rasped.

"Inside," you said while gasping for air.

His head hung until he came, swears tumbling out of his mouth as fast as his cum flooded into you. Your thighs trembled from the sensation, and he braced his forearms on either side of your head to thank you in a sloppy kiss.

Your bodies were slick and sticky with sweat and cum. His cock softened inside you, and you winced as he pulled out. Eric smoothed a hand over your hair, nose nuzzling against yours.

"You did good, baby," he murmured. He wrapped his arms around your body and rolled over onto your sides, holding you against him.

You gave a little laugh and shoved your face between his pecs. "Thanks, pretty boy," you said. "You too."

He chuckled, biting his lip. "Cute… say, Yn?"

"Hmm?"

"I know we've got it backwards, but can I take you out sometime?"

You smiled to yourself and your heart kicked up. "Sure, I'd uh—I'd like that."

Eric's expression lit up, and you got to see that beautiful smile of his. "Thank god," he said. He brushed the hair from the divot in your shoulder, ringed knuckles running down the lines on the side of your neck and over your clavicle. "Hey, you tired?"

Your eyelashes fluttered at the question. "Not super."

"Round two?"

"Round—" Your words cut off with a shriek as he yanked you back under him. And though you started off giggling, he had those sounds melting into moans again just as swiftly.

This room was going to be occupied for a while.

a/n: the amount of times i yelled while writing this... how do people write smut all the time, i need to know ur secrets 😭

tbz m.list

[heyyoungbloods]

Buckle up, babes, because I'm about to talk about Valentino a lot.

I've been thinking about Val a lot since me and @starfallisle started writing "Go to Hell for the Company" and I have Opinions about him, because I actually ended up finding him a lot more interesting and fun to write than I expected.

First I'd like to draw attention to this post that @potionorchard wrote about Val and his emotional intelligence, because I definitely agree with it. To summarize it, Valentino is not exactly a smart guy, but he's very emotionally intelligent and knows how to play people based on their emotions and connections to him, which is likely a big factor in how he became an Overlord in the first place.

Valentino is a mean guy, but he's capable of being nice, being kind. He can give people what they want from him, if he thinks it's worth his time and effort to do so. I think a great example of the two major sides of Valentino are his relationship with Angel versus with Vox.

With Angel Dust: Val knows he doesn't have to try with Angel, because he's got him under contract. He doesn't have to put effort into Angel if he doesn't want to, so he's willing to let himself get fed up with Angel and lash out at him. He'll put on his sweeter side when it suits him, but it's not necessary. The Val that Angel knows is likely the Val most people know in the long term. But I think before he was chained down, Angel knew a whole different Valentino. A kind, sweet, maybe even loving Val.

With Vox: I think Vox is one of the few people Val doesn't see as below him, same with Velvette. They are his business partners after all. More than that, it's clear that Val and Vox have a relationship beyond business, and have had it for a while probably. With Vox, Val has to play the game a little more strategically. @potionorchard pointed this out in her post that when Val doesn't get the results of Vox's attention that he wanted, he immediately turns around and plays Vox, riling him up by mentioning Alastor and then teasing him about it. Val knew what he was doing for that whole exchange. But, outside of these kind of instances, I think it's easy to see that Val has genuine feelings of some kind for Vox. He keeps the photo of them, and the whole dance between him and Vox in the finale speaks for itself I think. Val doesn't have as tight a hold on his temper as he could (or maybe even wishes he did) but he reins it in for Vox when he knows it won't benefit him to use it, or redirects it as needed so Vox isn't the direct subject of it.

I think Valentino uses kindness and affection as a weapon. He knows emotions are powerful motivators and uses them as his primary tools for predation pre: contracts and with those he knows he can't overpower. This is a major factor behind how I choose to write Val in my RPs and fics, why I make him kind when he's trying to achieve long term results, and why he's overall nicer to Vox than anyone else in the day-to-day.

Val is mean, Val is abusive, but he has the capability of being good for the people he has genuine affection for. However, his handle on his temper isn't good enough, and he'll lash out at anyone when he gets worked up enough. I personally think Valentino has some kind of feelings for Angel, but because Angel is under contract and not his perceived equal, he doesn't make the effort to be what Angel would want him to be, the person that Vox gets more often than not. Val is selfish with Angel and puts his own needs and desires above Angel's unless he can figure out how to also benefit from them.

I think Valentino wants to love people, but he struggles with perception (ironic given his eyesight.) I think Val builds his idea of a person in his mind, and when they do something that goes against what he expects of them based on that idea, he reacts poorly. His selfishness battles against this deep down want-- a want that is often overtaken by lust and pride and is therefore easy to miss, even by him.

This post is getting pretty long so I will stop it here. tl;dr: I think Valentino is messy and complicated and I like him for that reason. Am I reading too much into him? Maybe! But he's more interesting this way, don't you think?

[thecoolerliauditore]

Sorry, not-so-amicable-exes anon here again just cause I saw your big toxic fh breakdown post again cause a friend wanted to read it and we were tlking about it- unimportant, sorry, we just had a thought. Because I've seen some anti-toxic shippers act like this interpretation is out of spite or some intentional thing shippers of other jimmy ships made up (specifically ranchers usually), but the timeline and accusation is all wrong. Like I don't remember ever seeing anyone even talk about this interpretation until post-liml? And it was very hesitantly and apologetically. There was a fic or two before this but most people even the people who enjoyed it expressed discomfort or concern at its existence and that's how most people react to them even to this day.

But I remember when I saw that first post I was like, "Oh thank god, someone else also thought that!" It felt like before that there was scenes in their POV that only happened when I watched 3l because no one talked about them, or wrote them very differently to what happened. And I saw some other people saying the same thing. I think the post even got deleted a few days later, too. It seemed to me like a lot of people had quietly independantly come up with the interpretation as far back as 3l itself, but stayed quiet until recently to avoid upsetting anyone or we all thought we were the only ones who saw it that way. I know I tend to hesitate to write characters negatively because it feels a bit wrong to do that when the ccs are friends, even if I think it would be interesting. I wonder how many people feel that way also?

But I guess what I mean to say is it seems to me that a lot of people independantly have been thinking it since 3l or ll and the only reason it started popping up in dl is because it was the next big Jimmy ship from the big shipping season, and people werent really willing to even talk about it for a whole other season because they were scared of being seen as negative.

But!! I just really think it's neat, I really like this narrative for Scott and Jimmy. It's rare to be able to get stories where people have problems and break up and move on to new relationships and grow from them. It makes sense because they're the first season couple and they've grown further and further apart as seasons go on.

Even people I see who don't like fh don't seem to WANT to talk about it, they only bring it up when asked, and try to be respectful. Maybe I've not seen something happening somewhere else? I just wish I didn't have to spend most of my energy when writing quadruple checking that I'm not making Scott a bad guy and emphasising Jimmy's faults just so people reading know for certain I'm writing it this way because I'm legitimately interested in exploring this interpretation of them, and I'm not one of "those" writers. But I'm starting to wonder how many of "those" writers there actually are. (At the risk of comparing petty fandom drama to a serious topic, but it feels a lot like I'm back on 2016 tumblr assuring people I'm not one of "those" enbies or "those" aces, trying not to get pushed out.)

I'm guessing anyone who doesn't care for toxic fh probably already has you blocked, but if there is anyone like that who does see this: Hi! I also love flower husbands a lot! They just aren't my fluffy comfort ship, I like headcanoning them as divorced and imperfect because I think it makes them more interesting to write. I love being able to write characters who don't find the love of their life immediately but each relationship still shapes them into a new person. Sometimes I like to imagine their relationship as more mild and silly, and sometimes more dramatic and intense, I'm not a one-headcanon person! But their divorce is what really inspired me about them so I like writing about it. I don't want to stop anyone from enjoying them how they enjoy them and have no interest in making people who would be upset by my content to read it, so I try to tag it correctly! I'd like to be able to write my stories without walking on eggshells wondering if someone thinks I only wrote something I worked really hard on and cared a lot about just to spite them or because I'm secretly homophobic while writing about men kissing, just because my interpretation is different. It makes me scared to put Scott in my fics at all and contributed to my writers block for fics with them in it. I think Scott gets treated unfairly by certain people too, but that's not what I'm trying to do, I wouldn't write about him if I did!

(Also sorry if my paragraphs are strange, I'm not used to writing on mobile or pouring my thoughts out.)

Hi hello welcome back!! Please don't apologize I love long asks, especially long asks about scott smahor. The fact that you pulled up that toxic fh post and read it with a friend is so funny to me. Looking back, I wish I'd planned it out better and wrote it more eloquently, but I'm glad it brings people some sense of joy/entertainment/understanding. I hope you and your friend enjoyed it, even in an ironic sense.

It's endlessly entertaining (and fascinating) to me personally how every toxic fh believer seems to undergo the same-ish pipeline of watching the fh pov and being horrified --> looking at fanon fh and disengaging out of fear --> finding other toxic fh posters in the wild and suddenly realising you're not insane after all. I know I personally went into scott's pov expecting wholesomeness and ended up wide-eyed at what I saw before proceeding to slink FH into the back of my mind for awhile.

People tend to believe others operate like they do and I think that's where a lot of the discourse originates. Most of the louder voices I've seen that are very against the toxic interpretation are from people who primarily engage in bending the characters to fit specific concepts i.e. the "toxic jimmy" brainstorm that happened awhile back on here where interpretation is less a study and more confirmation bias-ing your way into making an idea work. Which I must reiterate is completely awesome because we're making fanfics here not nukes. But this leads people to assume that everyone who writes about toxic fh is going in with the mindset of "how do i interpret these moments so that scott is an abuser" and not "wow that thing i just watched sure kind of felt like domestic abuse"

Which like. YEAH, if there was a theoretical group of people who went out of their way to interpret everything scott did ever as evil and irredeemable, I too would assume that they had it out for the guy. But that's not what's happening, usually, afaik (at least on here, twitter's situation is a bit different due to the culture and would be its own beast for me to dissect and I honestly don't spend enough time on there to really feel confident making any statement).

For the record, I think a lot of people are on the same boat regarding FH being toxic and just simply don't care enough to voice/explore it, don't want to deal with the fandom nonsense that comes with it or would simply rather shift focus onto other pairs with similar themes. i.e. there is something going on with the toxic fh believer/ethubs shipper overlap I just know there is if anyone would like to do science with me it'd be awesome.

I know that I definitely focused my sights more on Scott and Pearl's relationship following my "wow that was sure something" watchthrough of scott's series, which is ironic considering I now base alot of my thoughts about their dynamic on scott's previous relationship with jimmy.

I think there's like. Something about the DL Pearl fans and the ranchers fans specifically who tended to communicate in code re: Scott's toxicity because for a long time all of us were afraid of saying it outright. So you get a lot of posts where Scott is like. A vaguely unpleasant force in the narrative while not really being a main focus himself, which I think may have contributed to the "ranchers fans only view scott as the villainous ex to push their ship harder" argument that I've seen a lot.

Once I realised from that one Shepscapades comic that there were others who saw the same plot I did, I would go out fishing for signs of agreement/acknowledgement. Hybbat if you're reading this, take this as my apology for sending you anon asks back in the day essentially trying to bait you into posting more FH slander, there was something deeply wrong with me (there still is, I'm just more upfront about it now I think).

There's also just this very like.. us vs them mentality very apparent in the way people talk about The Discourse that kinda sucks. Weirdly enough it's kind of shifted from toxic fh vs healthy fh to fh vs ranchers (or any other jimmy ship for that matter) nowadays. I can't talk on 2016 tumblr but regarding your last point (which I know isn't directed towards me but I think it's worth saying) -- would it matter if you Were one of THOSE fh writers? (or one of THOSE aces or THOSE enbies for that matter). You're not but like. Would it?

(side note rhetorical question do not answer i dont want to know but wtf did the aces/enbies even do lmao)

Not to get too away from the discourse cus I do my fair share of glazing on this blog already, but yes yes yes big agree on fh's storyline being amazing!! I love that we essentially watch them both have to live on after their mutually life-changing marriage.

Scott especially I love because in a lot of stories that feature an abuser they're painted as entirely evil and oftentimes disappear from the story once the relationship is over, but Scott doesn't and will never go anywhere. He's forced to grapple with his previous actions and the destructive way he thinks about himself and relationships has and continues to damage both himself and the people he loves. Just like how irl even when we wish abusers would just "go away" they will still continue being living people as they've always been, not a concept that will simply perish once you overcome the trauma. I love abusive characters who are fully written as human and think they're important. Is all.

[curiousnightly]

knight's shade - pt. one

a mandalorian x reader fanfiction

summary: you're sent on an assignment to retrieve an item for one of coruscant's note worthy crime lords. when making your return with the retrieved item, things take a turn when your boss finally meets the hunter looking to collect his bounty. 1.5k words

tags: slow burn; strangers to lovers; eventual smut (shameless i know)

warnings: swearing, violence, hints to abuse

reader characteristics: no use of 'y/n'; use of nickname for reader; she/her afab!reader

a/n: i've been writing this and other pieces for a while now but this is my first officially posted fic (thought it would be a good one to get started with). bare with me on spelling and formatting these post for a bit but for now I hope you enjoy this and part two that will be posted shortly after :)

masterlist

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The back alleys of Coruscant’s Underworld are both tranquil and thrilling. 

The shadows that dance around with the changing lights from people and vehicles frequently passing by give an eerie, yet soothing feeling when traveling through them. The shadows act as a blanket of protection while simultaneously becoming my blindside when moving through the unopened pathways laid down by the heavy foundation that makes this bustling planet.

I slowly begin to approach my initial destination when I round the corner (or something like that) of a large round building that overlooks a smaller rectangular building that faces out towards a road. The rectangular walls that face the lively pedestrians have boarded up windows that scale almost the entire building from concrete to roof except for on the rear side of the building that's not so visible from onlookers. I begin scaling that end of the wall to reach the building's rooftop to get a better view of what lays inside. 

I recall Crix mentioning several access points being located on the rooftop after one of his men surveyed the building a week ago. Crix Typho was always good about sending out surveyors prior to requesting completion of an assignment. If anyone wanted a job well done, it’d definitely be one of Coruscant's most wanted underground crime bosses. Not a surprise he sent me to complete this specific assignment, though an assignment is a nice way of putting it. 

Ever since I got caught up in one of the many affairs that occurs between Crix and anyone who dares cross him, I’ve been his wild card for retrieving specific artifacts, as one would put it. Since he learned I have a talent for retrieving things unnoticed, I’ve been put to good use for his own gain. Though I’m always surprised that he wasn’t baffled when he learned of that talent in the first place. It’s not usually common for someone to (almost) escape twenty plus of his guarded men unnoticed in practically broad daylight. Though I will admit, taking up a job to retrieve a stolen item, unaware of who the original thief was, or how threatening he was, was not one of my prouder moments. Although this talent has been with me for as long as I can remember, it surprises even myself when I finish jobs for Crix completely under the radar. I’m not sure how to explain it but sometimes it’s almost as if I’m able to manipulate things to go in my favor, most of the time that is. Sometimes Crix sends out shitty surveyors, leaving me in the dark about potential security or even threats to my life. When situations like that happen, Crix has a habit of setting an example of those who make mistakes. That reminder in itself sets me back into focus as I peer through one of the roof vents. I try my best to push the immediate anxious thoughts that arise when thinking of what Crix would do to me if I mess this job up, especially considering the many times he’s made use of brute force to set me in my place that rests far below his.

I scan the inside of the building, not seeing any sign of life moving within it. I double check the surroundings of the building before carefully prying open the loosened metal grate. I slip in quietly and land inside a small room of what used to look like a medic room. Crix mentioned how this used to be owned by a small medicine practitioner who provided aid to those in need prior to the Galactic Civil War. Apparently the owner had been smuggling Bacta from Old Republic reinforcements and was forced underground when the Empire took power. Because of the dealings, Crix believes that the old building holds something valuable within its basement. Clearly it’s top secret since he refuses to disclose any information about it.

I exit the small room and survey the hallway before locating the nearest set of stairs and begin descending a few floors towards the basement. Although I make sure to check my surroundings every millisecond, I seem to nearly trip over myself every other step as the place is scattered with miscellaneous items and tools. It appears the place was abandoned in a frenzy, with the chaos perfectly displayed and frozen in time for the past twenty years or so. At the bottom of the stairwell I reach a dark and dampened hallway with little to no light for visions-sake. I remove my glow rod strapped to my waist under my hooded cape to offer the space a golden yellow hue to increase my ability to see. I trail further down the hallway to what looks like two large wooden cellar doors. Luckily for me, the previous attendees left the doors unlocked, making one thing easier on my list of troublesome tasks. I enter what's seemingly a large storage room considering the amount of empty space it currently occupies. I begin to worry as the room is not home to a single object compared to the other spaces within this building. Almost completely lost for a second and starting to think Crix is playing a prank on me, I look over to my left and notice a wall completely decorated in empty bookshelves. I walk up to the wall and notice a rather glaring seem between two of the bookshelves. I practically laugh to myself.

What an absolute cliche, I internally deadpan to myself as I begin pressing a firm palm across every inch of the bookshelf to the left of the seam until one spot gives, releasing the hidden door with a loud huff as air from the other side moves into the current space I’m in. I cough slightly at the sudden increase of dust in the air, unsuccessful at trying to fan the particles away from my face. I enter the hidden room to find both myself and the light of the glow rod reflecting back at me. The room appears to have some metallic coating, creating a mirror-like effect. I try adjusting the angle of the glow rod by hooking it back to the belt around my waist, keeping it on to still provide light without blinding myself. At the center of the room lies a single short pillar covered in a dirtied canvas cloth.

Bingo.

I make my way over to the pillar and quickly remove the cover, ignoring the loose dust and dirt that flies off with it. Under the cloth reveals a large metal briefcase that looks completely untouched. If I didn’t know how long this thing probably had been sitting here for, I would’ve assumed it was recently made with many of the cases sold on the streets of markets. I check to make sure nothing on the pillar will set off some stupid alarm system before lifting it. I learned very quickly that the case I’m about to carry all the way back to Crix is much heavier than anticipated since I almost fell with the weight of it. Of course curiosity immediately pricks the back of my mind as to what the hell is living within this case, but I immediately push that thought away with Crix’s direct orders to not open the case playing loudly in my head. I curse a bit and try to push any intrusive thoughts that could literally get me killed and start making my way out of the building with the retrieved item.

I luckily made it back unscathed, probably due to the fact that probably nobody knew of this item living in an abandoned building in the middle of rundown Coruscant back allies. I’m still plagued with thoughts of opening the case considering how tired my arms are from carrying it. I definitely have built strength since working (out of my control) for Crix, but my still slim stature can’t carry something nearly as heavy as this. I approach Crix’s pride and joy with an all too apparent exhausted expression. The underground casino sits several kilometers below large scaling buildings on the surface of the planet. The only entry point is through a back door of one of the large buildings, of course owned by Crix’s himself, with a facial recognition system and several guards to further identify incoming guest. Of course, I’m not a guest coming to waist my earnings to heavily rigged games for Crix’s financial gain. I reach the entry and follow up on all security checks before making my way down to the lower levels where the casino is. As soon as the elevator reaches my desired floor, I’m immediately blinded with bright lights and heavy reflections of said lights as the place is covered in mirrors and flashy chandeliers. I quickly start to make my way towards the back of the room, passing many intoxicated people laughing and chatting amongst themselves as they play games and bet ridiculous amounts of money. I reach the door to a large hallway that leads to several rooms on either side. I make the trek several paces before swiveling right to a door marked with the statement ‘open only if you have something I want.’

I open the door quickly, only to find myself immediately regretting the action when I’m met with an image that was certainly the last thing I’d expect.

Across the room, Crix’s is held at gunpoint by a silver clad Mandolorian.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

pt. two>>>

[coraniaid]

🔥 on fuffy's dynamic? or anything fuffy related

I think most Fuffy shippers – me included for sure – have a habit of making Faith seem a bit too … well, nice.

Don’t get me wrong: I like Faith a lot.  Not just as a character – and she is one of my favorite characters on the show, even if she only appears in less than two dozen episodes – but on a personal level too I have a lot of empathy for her.  I think she has a pretty rough deal in life.  I think she’s very badly let down by a lot of people, both before and after becoming a Slayer.  I think the narrative itself is often far less sympathetic to her than it is to other characters. I think she’s pretty miserably unhappy most of the time, and I think her redemption arc is genuinely very good, even with the little we see of her post-Sanctuary.

That said, it feels to me that a lot of Fuffy fanfiction is written by people who have decided, whether consciously or not, that the “real” Faith is the Faith we see awkwardly asking Buffy if she wants to go the dance with her in Homecoming since she already has the tickets, or showing up on Buffy's doorstep in Amends with some crappy Christmas presents, still not quite able to admit there was never any “big party” she could have gone to instead, however obvious it is at this point, and somehow managing to make a million different heartbreaking microexpressions when Buffy says she’s glad to see her. 

Yes, I like those moments too – I like them a lot – and I think that they are definitely indicative of a real aspect of Faith, one she tries hard to keep hidden most of the time.  But I think it’s an injustice to her character to make that the sum total of her personality.  If this were all there was to Faith’s character, she wouldn’t be half as compelling.

What about the Faith who, however troubled she looked at first, manages to shrug off the fact her new boss is planning to have Willow murdered when he tells her he’s also bought her a Playstation?  What about the Faith who attacks Joyce, ties her up and threatens to kill her?  What about the Faith who fantasies about stabbing Willow and taunts Tara by telling her how much Willow used to love Oz?  What about the Faith who, right from her first appearance, is perhaps a little bit too into beating up vampires and killing demons?  What about the Faith who threatens to torture Buffy, who tries to kill Angel, who definitely does torture Wesley and who kills Professor Worth while he begs for his life?  What about the Faith who probably was going to kill Xander? What about what Faith does to Buffy in Who Are You?

I’m not saying all Fuffy authors should exclusively write angst-ridden enemies-to-lovers in which for the first 100,000 words Faith really does seem to revel in being able to kill things without consequences even as she lets her obsession with Buffy Summers lead her into actively and deliberately trying to hurt her or bring her down to her level. (Though it would perhaps be nice if some of it was like this!)  I don’t have any moral objection if people would rather write fluff in which Faith and Buffy have an awkward first kiss at the Homecoming Dance, or AUs in which Faith never sides with the Mayor, or post-canon fic which takes for granted the fact that Faith is now redeemed and happily devoted to Buffy (it would make me a bit of a hypocrite if I did, since I’ve written all of these things).

But the sort of Fuffy writing and meta that I most enjoy, even if it doesn’t dwell on Faith’s worst moments or if it takes place in a continuity where they conveniently haven’t happened, always treats Faith as somebody who could do those things, if the circumstances were just a little bit different.  Always recognizes her as somebody who does have a lot of barely-suppressed anger in her, who is more likely to listen to an authority figure who tells her what she wants to hear than one who doesn’t, who is more than a little bit jealous of Buffy’s life, who does think, deep down, that being a Slayer makes her better than other people.

To me, that’s the appeal of Faith as a character and also of her relationship with Buffy. The two things are kind of inseparable.  Faith is a reflection of a lot of Buffy’s own worst impulses; she’s somebody that Buffy could have been if things had turned out differently (and if Buffy hadn’t had a certain inner strength and self-belief that Faith, for all her posturing, doesn’t quite ever have herself).  She’s the Buffy we’ll see hints of throughout Season 6, the Buffy we saw in Season 2’s When She Was Bad, the Buffy we see in Season 3’s The Wish. And, as a reflection of Buffy, she has some of Buffy’s strengths as well as exaggerated versions of some of Buffy’s flaws.  She’s not uncomplicatedly Evil, even at her worst, but she does a lot of things that are very hard to forgive, and she enjoys doing some of them more than some people like to admit.

I think if somebody’s going to try to write Fuffy, and get both Buffy and Faith right, that’s something they need to remember.  Let Faith have some jagged edges.  Let her be a little bit dangerous.  Let her be a little bit cruel. Let her be a little bit self-destructive.  Put simply: let her be Faith.

[rafescvntyclubgf]

⭐ Rant Alert ⭐

This is all personal opinion and unedited

I've seen a lot of opinions, and I wanted to give my two cents as someone who writes fluff, angst, and smut and prefers to write angst and fluff. My thoughts are that if you are looking for fluff, angst, short stories, and full-length fics, you must treat that as if you're rooting for a dying fandom, even if the fandom itself is thriving.

If I was looking for fluff, angst, full fics, or short stories specifically, and felt there was a lack of content, I would check the hashtag daily. When I found a new fic, I would reblog and comment to boost that writer's work. Then, I might even drop into their inbox to tell them how much I liked it and make a request of my own. If you are already doing this, this is not directed at you.

Also, I don't know if the people posting “write more angst/fluff” are trying to do more than make a single post because that's all I can see on my fyp. I’m not going to do a deep-dive. That says all I need/want to see because it’s demotivating enough on its own.

If you are looking for more, It might help to be more specific. Go to a new writer or a writer that you enjoy and request something you are looking for. What do you want to see? What did you like about what they did write that you couldn't get enough of? Ask if they have any suggestions on other blogs that are similar that you may not have seen before. Maybe the have moots that have works with low note counts that may be motivated to write more if they are excited to do so. I believe that it's helpful for writers to let them know the interest IS there and not only IS it there, but it’s from readers of theirs. In my opinion, for me at least, this is not happening…

Some of us (me) prefer to write short stories, complete fics, angst, and fluff over smut, but the interest (based on engagement and numbers alone) is not there. I don't think anyone can be faulted for wanting engagement and good numbers when it is our only form of currency since we are doing this unpaid. The numbers don't lie. We want a sense of community which is why we are in a fandom space.

Maybe what you are looking for is already there. Is it supported like you know it should be? That would be a great soapbox to stand on. 🩷 Again, if you are already doing this, this is not directed at you. You could boost this to let people know more support is needed.

Finally, and probably the most irking part is that I am more than aware that you can write fanfiction without smut. Why are we trying to devalue the people we should be motivating? Why are we trying to devalue people putting out material to make our fandom thrive when we could just be communicating and supporting more even if all they write is smut... They’re enjoying themselves. They are writing something that they appreciate on their free time.

Just a thought.

[seyaryminamoto]

Fic-to-Art #39: Gladiator's ELEVENTH Anniversary! (+ BONUS: Fic-to-Art #36...)

And here we are! March 26th arrived and I did not forget about it, but I paid for my ambitious madness with my wrist and forearm. Somehow, I finished my intended pieces on time, but I do not advise that you ever try to make 9 artworks in 3 days. No, sir. Bad life decisions, that's what that was... but this fic, as anyone knows, moves me to do things I never thought possible, starting with writing the fic itself!

It's really crazy every time it hits me that I've been doing this for as long as I have. It's been a complicated, chaotic journey, with its many ups and downs, but ultimately, it has been our journey. For some people, this is just one more fic in the pile: for me, it's been the best adventure of my life so far. Everyone who has ever been touched by Gladiator, who has ever cherished this story, who's looking forward to the big conclusion, who wants to see how the chaotic war is going to end... you're all part of this crazy adventure along with me, and I can only thank you for joining me.

This year, I had no time to make as big a project as I usually go for. Thus, I did a sort of free-for-all edition of Fic-to-Art over at Patreon and challenged myself to draw as many scenes as I could, out of their suggestions. I even sprinkled in a few scenes I impulsively wanted to draw because I loved writing them or because I look forward to writing them... and this is the result!

In order, the scenes are as follow:

Sokka combing Azula's hair, a common occurrence throughout the story.

Azula watching over a convalescing Sokka in the Chase of Jeong Jeong arc.

The outcome of Sokka's final battle in the Superior Gladiator League, namely a moment where Sokka and Azula more or less gave away their relationship's true nature to the public by raising their hands towards each other...

And now, spoiler territory! Some were by my choice, some by Patreon requests:

An important moment shortly after Sokka and Azula reunite.

Azula confronting her father, with a LOT of backup.

Xin Long's long-awaited freedom.

The aftermath of the final battle.

The full-blown confirmation of their relationship to the general Fire Nation populace.

Sokka, Azula and Hotaru's first night together

And the big final one is ACTUALLY Fic-to-Art #36 but hahaha woops I didn't post it here on time because it was super hard to finish since I had a LOT of things going on... but here it is now! :'D it's a glimpse VERY far into the future of this fic's timeline!

Alright, that should be enough talking and explaining. Some things are vague, some things aren't, but ultimately I really hope you guys will be looking forward to the scenes you haven't seen yet, and to Gladiator's eventual outcome.

So now... with all this being said and done, I'm gonna go take a trip down memory lane and watch my Tenth Anniversary video once more! Feel free to do the same thing if you'd like to commemorate the fic, I think it's a good way to experience Gladiator all over again, hahaha.

Thank you if you read all this, and if you read all THAT: 5 million word landmark, here we come! Thanks for hanging out with me across ELEVEN years of Gladiator!

[halowishes]

december favs!

what i read this month.

(look forward to a favs of 2024 post later :3)

sketches of a firefly

e. 88.7k. magic/ hurt/comfort.

i have no words to properly describe this experience. this fic is introspective, adventurous, glowing, and textured. i LOVED this story. the magic is vague and perfectly added, the characters are fleshed out, and the writing is delightful. patient & loving atsumu you will always be famous. please read the tags/ warnings. stay safe <3

summer special: omigiri

t. 6.9k. msby & onigiri miya.

i literally searched “summer” in the sakuatsu tag on ao3 and this presented itself on a silver platter. very sweet and silly fic of skts modeling for onigiri miya’s newest campaign of umeboshi onigiri. osamu pov since he’s (obviously) the smartest person in the room. extremely lighthearted and goofy <3

people will say we’re in love

t. 9.5k. canon universe.

sakuatsu learn what sakuatsu is and try to make it stop: the fic! or: the universe wants skts together soooo bad: the fic. this was such a lighthearted read and was so silly. i’m a big fan of social media/ youtube fics (they remind me of my kpop stan days) so this was very cute.

a match made in hell

e. 8.9k. arranged marriage in hell au!

the premise is such a gag that i just had to read it and it, unexpectedly, was full of life (get it? bc they’re in hell)! lots of bickering and sass from kiyoomi and it was just SO funny. broke the 4th wall, full of hell jokes, and had a fluff-y ending <3 also loved the characterization & world building of hell.

do good things come to those who wait?

t. 16.7k. imperial prince omi x shogun son atsumu.

READ THE NOTES.

hahaha ok so i didn’t read the notes. but i have been craving a royalty skts fic and i just got so excited. PLUS red string soulmates??? i needed it. it was a lovely coming of age fic and i loved atsumu in this. he was humanized a lot more than what i usually see. he was flustered, dramatic, and annoying but in very real ways. excellent writing and unforgettable plot.

intertwined

t. 25.8k. soulmate body swapping.

this was lovely. soulmates swap bodies at random times and skts fall in love through those moments of time. you sort of witness their whole childhoods unfold to the point where they meet and (of course) it’s a beautiful reunion :3 also included the kiyoomi has older sisters who dote on him hc which i ADORE!!

bewitching, besotted

e. 70.7k. 5+1 fwb.

sakusa pov! hurt/ comfort! situationships! emotionally mature kghn! kageyama x omi besties! this fic truly has it all. this is part of an ongoing series so there was a lot of development of surrounding characters and circumstances. but most importantly: they are so enamored with each other. romance is in the little things. such a solid fic!

cut the conversation, just open your mouth

e. 16.2k. situationship skts.

ok wow i read a LOT of hurt/comfort this month. fwb skts in atsumu’s pov! everyone is stressed (and omi is trying his best). this was more like a character study and one that i really appreciated. atsumu wasn’t a perfect brother, communicator, or athlete. and i don’t know a lot about situationships so i enjoyed reading it!

let’s get physical

t. 4.3k. nurse sakusa x uni student atsumu.

genuinely couldn’t stop laughing while reading this. atsumu is getting his physical at the student health center and flirts with the really beautiful nurse. let’s just say that wasn’t atsumu’s last visit to the health center.

stockholm syndrome isn’t real

e. 50.2k. heist/ action au.

wow. i just want to say a thank you to the commenter who said this is their fav skts fic because i GET it now. wildly comedic, action-packed, absurd yet wonderful. lovely characterizations. i can’t wait to read it again. also i’m such a sucker for heists so obviously i loved the plot.

sense of purpose (or, what comes next)

t. 3.6k. post volleyball retirement.

atsumu sees kiyoomi at a 7/11 over a decade after they last saw each other :’). although short, this fic was thoughtful, enchanting, and beautiful. there is so much between the lines that i wish i could have MORE of them. it also was a bit of a character study for atsumu as he thinks back on his life/ career. very special and lovely read.

happy happy new year to you all! it’s one of the only holidays we all celebrate, so please enjoy it and share the love! i am really thankful to have my little brain rot blog here… here’s to more dumb posts in the new year!

[mickeyswhore]

My Perfect Life

A/N: I AM BACK!!!!!!!!!!! Life got the better of me but I am back and will try to post at least twice a week, send me requests, even for characters not on my list since I wouldn't mind discovering new media and obsessions lol.

Summary: Just a look into your life with Damien O'Donovan, how he deals with his nightmares and overall guilt, and how you and his unborn child help as well.

Damien O'Donovan x Reader

Request:

Hello! So I saw you write for Damien O’donovan. I have literally scoured the internet for fics of him. So, I’d like to make a request please.

Maybe a fic where reader is in place of Sinead, and say Damien did not die, so sort of an alternate universe. But, reader and Damien are expecting their first child, could you can make it super fluffy and sweet please?

Thank you so so so much and have a lovely day! <333

Warnings: angst, fluff (lots of it), talk of death, pregnancy (nothing too graphic), a little bit of angst.

Damien still has nightmares, he wakes up with you sleeping right next to him, your bump is now starting to show, sleeping peacefully and with his child on your belly. He remembers how much the two of you fought for independence and you were willing to do anything necessary until you found out that you were pregnant, you were scared about what your parents would say about being an unmarried woman and pregnant but Damien knew that he couldn’t let you suffer this shame because of him, to have a child that he might never get to meet.

You married Damien a few days after finding out you were pregnant, your parents were so happy for you that they decided to give you a nice cottage with a small plot of land so you and Damien could start your life together, and you have been the happiest you have ever been. Your husband on the other hand, thinks that he should’ve done more for the IRA but leaving his family? That would’ve been worse.

Every time Damien has nightmares, he holds you tight, your warming presence calms his troubled mind, all the people he lost, the lives he took, haunt him greatly. You stir awake, the fact that it is summer and Damien’s warm body clings to you makes you warm, you slowly open your eyes and see the face you love so much, with unshed tears and you know what it means, you’ve seen it many times.

“It’s alright, you’re here with me now. I love you.” Damien melts in your embrace, he puts his hand on your belly, something that he started doing since he found out you were pregnant. And amidst the silent embrace between two lovers, the physical manifestation of that decided to make itself known for the first time, startling the two of you.

“Is that the first time?” Damien asks with a hopeful tone, not being able to share the same experiences with his child so early, sharing this together would be too good to be true, but he wanted it all the same.

“Yes.” It felt weird feeling your child moving, kicking you but it was so special.

“My strong girl.” He whispers to your belly, and that makes you laugh.

“How do you know it’s not a boy?” The smirk on your face made your husband laugh, you were always teasing him.

“I just know, she’ll be just as beautiful as her mother.” Damien kisses you tenderly, his hand goes to your hair, he has always loved your hair, it reminds him when he brushes it sometimes when you are in the bath, and when he is pulling it in bed.

“We will have a boy as stubborn as his father.” Laughs erupted between the two of you, you put your hand on his chest, his heartbeat in better rhythm now. “We should get back to sleep.” The suggestion makes Damien nod, he is incredibly tired.

Damien put his head on your chest, his hand on your stomach and he tried to fall asleep, you put your hand on his hair, playing with his black locks, he has been letting his hair grow out a bit more since moving to the farm, and you love it. Kissing the top of his head and playing with his hair, the two of you fall into a peaceful slumber.

-------------------------

When you woke up, you didn't find Damien next to you which was strange, he usually woke up after you. The smell of freshly baked bread took you to the kitchen, and there he was, the man you loved, taking out the sourdough bread you were preparing yesterday.

“Hope you don’t mind, I wanted to do something nice for you, love.” He kisses you and guides you to the table that he made himself. 

“Of course I don’t, what wife would be against this?” Damien kisses the top of your head and brings breakfast for the two of you. It was delicious and right after that, he had to tend to the animals and crops of the farm. He works so hard and now that you are pregnant, he doesn’t let you do anything.

It was now in the middle of the afternoon and Damien was knee deep into the crops when you came to him with a lemonade, hoping that he would come off the sun.

“Love, please come back to the house, I am worried about you being in the sun for too long.” Your husband looks up at you and looks at you with a smile on his face, happily taking the cold drink, anything made by you is divine in his eyes. He kissed your belly in his position, it was the perfect height, he got up and took you inside.

Ever since you got pregnant, you were more worried about Damien, some would even say overprotective but Damien didn't mind, in fact he welcomed it. He would never disagree with his wife, especially now that she was carrying his child.

“Come here.” He motions for you to sit on his lap, he kisses you gently, all over your face and neck. “You have no idea how much I love you.” Damien whispers and kisses you more passionately, one hand on your thigh,  the other on your hair.

“Take me to bed, Damien.” You whisper to him and he readily complied by carrying you to the bed in his arms.

Damien gently lowered you to bed and started kissing your whole body, he loves to worship your body at all times, and with all the changes in your body, he loves your body even more.

“You’re divine, love.” He removes your underwear, puts your legs around his head and you felt his tongue on your clit.

Your hands went to his pulling it, Damien was eating you out as if he was starving, the noises would’ve made you blush if you weren’t so deep in pleasure.

“Damien.” You yelled pulling his hair but your husband kept going, his tongue fucking you, keeping you in place. He was looking at you, he loved seeing your reactions, the way you arch your back and bite your lip, trying to suppress your moans.

“You taste delicious.” He tells you with a smile, and he inserts two fingers inside you. “You are drenched, love.” Damien is admiring your pussy, he keeps fucking you with his fingers, touching your G-spot.

“I’m gonna cum, Damien.” Your breathing was uneven, eyes closed and hands gripping the sheets, your whole body was sweaty and every single nerve of your body filled with pleasure and your husband was eyeing with complete lust, he picked up his speed, wanting to see you falling apart.

“Cum for me, love.” He whispers and you scream his name and you came all over his fingers. Damien kissed you and he could see that you were getting tired, since your pregnancy you have been sleeping more than usual. “Take a nap, love.” Your hands reach his trousers but he only laughs and kisses your hand. “Another time, my darling.” He kisses your temple and you fall asleep quickly and Damien lays next to you.

-----------------------------

Damien can hear you screaming again and he is pacing around nervously, you have been in labour for a few hours now and he doesn't know what to do, your parents have tried to calm him down but to no avail.

“DAMIEN.” You scream out for him, the midwife told you many times that he is not allowed in the room but you didn't care, you wanted your husband with you, holding you, telling you everything will be alright.

After hearing you call for him, no one was able to keep him away from you. He opened the door and went straight to your side.

“I am here, love…I am here for you, what do you need?” Damien not being able to take away your pain was killing him.

“I can’t do this, Damien…I’m not strong enough, I’m scared.” You were rambling at this point, and the pain seems like it will  kill you.

“You are the strongest person I know, you can do anything, I am here for you. Hold my hand and push, love.” His words of encouragement made you push again, and it seemed that you were going to break his hand but how much you were squeezing it, but he never mentioned it.

“That’s it, love…breathe and push.” The midwife told Damien what to say and he kept repeating it, and you listened to him.

In a few hours you gave birth to a healthy baby girl, she had a huge amount of jet black hair just like her father.

“Told you she was a girl.” Damien is now holding your daughter with the biggest smile on his face, he cried as well, which made you cry as well.

“Alright, the next one is coming in a few minutes.” The midwife announces after checking up on you, and you stop in your tracks.

“What?” You were stunned, never once you suspected having twins.

“There’s another baby, get ready.” Damien takes your daughter to your mother and comes back to stay with you and to encourage you one more time.

Another healthy baby is born and this one is a boy, after him being cleaned, you start feeding both of your babies. Your son seems to take after your features, and your daughter seems to take after Damien. You were exhausted but incredibly happy, and Damien was incredibly hands on already.

“Seems that both of us were correct.” You exclaimed with your eyes closed and a smile on your face.

“We were, love.” Damien lays next to you and the four of you fall asleep peacefully.

[sansaorgana]

— THE BLUE DRESS

🚨 This fanfic is a repost from 15 Apr 2022 from my different blog. I kept the Author's Note and everything from the fic the same as it was back then.

PAIRING — Jack Nelson x fem!Reader

SUMMARY — Jack takes his fiancée shopping but he can’t keep his hands to himself.

AUTHOR’S NOTE [15 Apr 2022] — Based on that ask [the post is no longer up] I have received from the lovely @zablife 💘 And I know I kinda stopped this fic before another round but it’s quite long already and writing a few intimate scenes in the same chapter gets very repetitive.

WARNINGS — dom Jack, public sex, c*ckwarming, light choking

WORD COUNT — 2,770

🔞 THIS FIC IS 18 🔞

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

THE BLUE DRESS

Since you had been engaged to Jack, he started to pay for the apartment at the hotel for you to stay at. He didn’t want you to keep living in your small flat and he had also asked you to quit your job. Instead of working five or even six days a week, you became busy with hairstylist appointments, manicure, shopping and getting savoir-vivre classes. You found them incredibly funny but you understood why Jack needed his wife to know how to act around people from the so-called society.

Jack Nelson was going places and you were extremely proud to be the one he wanted to take with himself.

The fact that he was paying for your apartment meant that he had also owned a key to it and he never hesitated to use it without letting you know first. You didn’t even get scared at the sight of him leaning on the doorway while you were laying on the sofa and reading a newspaper.

You just looked at him, irritated. Jack smirked and you huffed before throwing the newspaper at him.

“And what was that for? Nice to see you, too!” He raised his eyebrows and removed the newspaper from his face.

“Look at the third page!” you scoffed and sighed.

Jack opened the newspaper and found the third page quickly before squinting his eyes at the printed picture.

“Mae Capone?” he asked to make sure that had been what you wanted him to see.

“Yes!” you crossed your arms.

“What about her?” Jack shook his head, confused.

“Look at her fucking fur, Jack!” you rolled your eyes. “Why don’t I have one like that?!”

Jack took a deep breath in and put the newspaper down slowly while clenching his jaw. You kept watching him carefully from the corner of your eye, perfectly aware of the fact that you had been pushing the limits and acting way too bratty for his liking.

“Because, doll,” he drawled out the last word like it was not a pet name at all, “you deserve a better fur than hers,” he finished eventually and stood above you with his hands in his pockets in an arrogant manner. You suddenly felt so little and vulnerable.

“You say so, baby?” you batted your eyelashes.

“Yeah, so dress up. We’re going shopping,” Jack pointed his finger at you and then he moved it up.

“Oh, Jack!” you squealed and jumped off of the sofa to throw your hands around his neck. “You’re the best!”

“Am I the best only when I buy you pretty things, doll?” he chuckled and patted your back.

“Of course not! After all, you haven’t bought me anything yet today!” you giggled.

As a little girl you had spent hours in front of that store with your nose and cheeks pressed to the glass window, staring at all the pretty clothes, hats and scarfs inside. Your mother had been holding your hand and staring as well until one of the women working there would tell you to finally go away.

Now you were inside that store and all the ladies were running around like headless chickens just to satisfy your whims.

Just because Jack had promised you a new fur didn’t mean he wouldn’t buy you plenty of other things, too. Therefore, you found yourself trying on new dresses in front of the mirror while he was sitting comfortably on a huge pouf in the middle of the room.

“What about this one?” you asked him about the blue gown, definitely not convinced about the way it had presented itself on your body.

“Perfect,” Jack smirked.

“Baby!” you whined. “Be honest!”

“Perfect,” he repeated and you sighed.

“Okay, let me ask in a different way,” you put your hands on your hips. “Would you take me wearing that for lunch with the governor of Massachusetts?”

“Goodness, no!” Jack let out a chuckle and you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Then I don’t want it,” you shrugged your arms and went to the fitting room despite Jack rolling his eyes and throwing his hands in the air.

“Aw, come on, baby!” you heard him but you ignored that and closed the wooden door behind you to proceed with taking the silky fabric off of your shoulders.

Jack didn’t even bother to knock – he simply followed you inside and you squealed before he shushed you and closed the door after himself, making sure to lock them.

“What are you doing?! You’re not allowed here!” you hissed at him.

“Honey, I am allowed wherever I fucking want,” he reminded you and took a step forward to put his hands on your hips. You could see him in the reflection of the mirror, towering over you and leaning in to whisper in your ear. “Now, let me make this clear, doll,” he started and moved his right hand higher, leaving goosebumps on your skin under the gown, “I am not marrying you to show you off, you hear me? That will be lots of fun but for that alone I could marry any whore.”

You swallowed thickly and nodded your head. Jack’s hand found itself on your bare shoulders, his fingertips caressing the burning skin gently.

“Just because you can’t wear this dress when we go out, doesn’t mean you can’t wear it when we’re alone,” he muttered and pressed his body to yours so you could feel a pleasant surprise on your lower back. “You feel what it’s doing to me, baby?”

You bit your lip and nodded once again, already getting dizzy from imagining what would happen now.

“And, as my wife, I want you to wear such dresses at home very often,” Jack smirked and put his left hand around your throat but without squeezing it – the touch itself was a reminder of his power over you.

“Wouldn’t I be too much of a distraction, Mr. Nelson?” you asked in an innocent manner.

“Oh, don’t you let your pretty head worry about that,” he chuckled softly and kissed the back of your neck and shoulders while keeping your head up to expose more of your throat where his lips could leave feverish kisses as well.

“Jack…” you moaned and grabbed his hands.

“Yes, doll?”

“Please, let’s go home now… I don’t care about shopping, we can come back here another day,” you swallowed thickly.

“Oh, no, I want to buy that fur today,” he insisted and you whined. “Aw, what is it? You won’t be able to wait?”

“Jack, please, you’re teasing…” you shut your eyes and gasped at the feeling of his hand hitching up your dress and caressing your thigh. “Jack…”

“Well, I can ease some tension if you keep quiet, baby,” he promised and threw your head back to press it to his chest while his right hand touched you between your legs. “Fuck, you’re so wet already?” he teased and you squealed. Jack squeezed his hand around your throat lightly to remind you about keeping quiet as the fingers of his other hand kept playing with your folds under the material of your panties.

When his knuckles brushed your clit, your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your hands clutched on his left wrist, digging your nails deep into his skin.

“There, baby?” he asked and looked down to watch your dazed face. You nodded, trying not to let any sound out of your mouth. After your response, Jack proceeded to rub your clit and draw circles on it as your legs were starting to tremble. “Aren’t you needy?” he asked. “If you could, you’d just want me to do that all day long, you fucking minx.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault,” he kissed your cheek and took a step forward to press your body to the wall. You placed your hands flat on the wooden surface and pressed one of your cheeks to it as well as Jack hitched the dress up above your waist and removed your panties for good. “Now, be a good girl if you want that fur, hm?”

You nodded vigorously, feeling your wetness dripping down your spread legs. Jack held your hips and entered you slowly although the gentleness of the first movement had often been treacherous. His pace became rapid and hasty after that, making your eyes fill with tears. It was difficult to stop yourself from letting out a sound so you covered your mouth with one of your hands as Jack’s fingers were digging into your hips, leaving a fresh set of bruises alongside the old ones.

Then you could feel him leaning over you and putting one of his hands on the wall above yours.

“When you’re my wife, I’m gonna fuck you like that whenever I want to, all over the house. Just gonna hitch up whatever pretty dress you’ll be wearing and use you, doll,” he whispered into your ear, sending shivers down your spine and making you clench around his cock. “Aw, you like it, don’t you, baby?” Jack smirked and moved his left hand from your hips to your clit, putting pressure right where you needed it.

Your vision went blurry and you let out one short squeal while reaching your high as Jack hid his face in the crook of your neck, which muffled his deep groan right before he came deep inside of you. Since you had been engaged, he wasn’t really stopping himself from doing so.

“Fuck,” you whispered after catching a breath. “Fuck, Jack…”

“It’s okay, baby,” he took a step back to clean himself with a handkerchief and make himself look presentable again. In your case it would be much more difficult since your hair was ruffled, your make up was smudged and his cum was dripping down your thigh. “It’s okay,” he shushed you and caressed your cheeks, “you’ve been a good girl,” he assured. “Now, put that dress back on and brush your hair, alright, baby?” He kissed your forehead and left the fitting room.

“Oh! Mr. Nelson!” you heard one of the saleswomen. “Everything alright?”

“Yes, I’ve just been helping my fiancée with the buttons,” he cleared his throat, sounding as nonchalant as ever. “We’re taking the blue dress and that fur.”

“Yes, sir.”

You took a deep breath in and fixed yourself in the mirror, trying to ignore the fact your legs were shaky like they were made of jelly. Then you made sure that the new dress was all buttoned up and you hid your discarded panties into your purse before walking out of the fitting room.

Jack was waiting for you by the door. He was holding your new fur – the one you had been trying on before the dresses – and he was grinning at the way you walked.

You only rolled your eyes and he held the door in front of you. At the sight of you two, Jack’s driver left the limousine and opened the car’s door so you could get inside.

You sat in the backseat and Jack handed him the fur. The boy put it in the trunk carefully and sat by the wheel.

“Where to, Mr. Nelson?”

“(Y/N)’s hotel,” Jack answered and then he laid his eyes on you. “What’s wrong, doll?” he furrowed his brow because you looked quite uncomfortable.

“It’s leaking out, Jack,” you whined in a whisper and he chuckled before nodding his head.

“Roll up the partition, Billy,” Jack told the driver and the boy nodded.

When the black divider between him and you two rolled all the way up, Jack grabbed you by your hips and sat you on his lap.

“If it’s leaking out, then we better do something about it, don’t you think, baby?” he smirked and you giggled before nodding your head and cupping his face to shower him with kisses.

Jack worked on the buttons of his trousers and once his cock was out, he lowered your hips on his length. He was hard again already, he had never seemed to have any problems with that and you only hoped it would stay this way for some time since he was a bit older than you.

You hissed the moment you could feel his whole cock inside and the short kiss you had been sharing became more passionate and heated. You grabbed his shoulders and started to move your hips but Jack held your chin and made you look deep into his eyes.

“No moving, doll. Just sit still like a good girl,” he ordered.

You nodded your head and tensed your muscles to stop yourself from grinding on him which had been incredibly difficult but you didn’t want to disobey him after he had bought you a new dress and fur.

“Relax, doll,” Jack chuckled and put his hands on your waist. “Relax, don’t be so tense,” he told you and you tried to ease your muscles. “You see? Much better,” he smirked and you leaned in to keep kissing him.

His big hands were roaming around your back and when the car bumped on the road, you let out a moan into his mouth. Jack laughed. “Felt nice, didn’t it?”

“Fuck, Jack, I can’t hold on anymore,” you complained. “Please, let me… Please…”

“Being impatient is not a good trait, doll,” he teased. “Good things come to those who wait.”

“What good things, Jack?”

“You can ride me now but I won’t touch you for the rest of the day,” he threatened. “But if you keep being a good girl now, I’m gonna fuck your brains out once we’re at the hotel. Over and over again. The choice is yours.”

“You’re such a meanie, Jack,” your eyes rolled to the back of your head as another bump on the road had given you the desperately craved friction deep inside your core.

“Come on, baby, you can do it,” he encouraged you to keep still. You couldn’t believe that he actually enjoyed not being ridden by you. He just loved to have control over you and you could only wish that you minded that more.

“Mr. Nelson, we’re at the hotel,” the driver’s voice reached you.

“See, doll?” Jack smirked and gave your asscheek a light spank. “It was easy, hm?”

“Not at all, baby!” you sighed and moved out of his lap, feeling incredibly empty between your legs. Jack buttoned up his trousers and knocked at the door so the driver would open the door in front of you two.

“Thank you, Billy. Give the fur to one of the bellhops and tell him to bring it to Miss (Y/L/N)’s room,” he told the driver, gave him a tip and followed you inside.

Despite your shaky legs you were almost running to the elevators, cursing Jack for renting you a room on such a high floor. You prayed for the elevator to be empty but sadly it was not so you had to stand next to each other and pretend that you weren’t about to explode at any given moment.

When you were finally on your floor, you searched the purse chaotically and took out the key to open the door. The moment you found yourself inside, you felt Jack pressing your back to the wall and attacking your mouth with a heated kiss. You dropped your purse and moved your hands to the back of his head.

Never breaking the kiss and moaning into each others’ mouths you made your way to the bedroom where Jack pushed you on the bed and leaned over you like a predator over his prey. You batted your eyelashes and spread your legs open in an instant.

“Still needy?” he teased.

“Always needy, Mr. Nelson,” you nodded and brought him even closer by pulling his jacket.

“I guess my duty is to fulfill your needs, Mrs. Nelson…?” he asked and you could feel your cheeks burning at him calling you that.

“Not yet!” you giggled.

“But soon, my girl,” he clashed his lips with yours and held your left hand before raising it to place a kiss on its palm. “There it is, my ring,” his eyes sparkled at the gem resting on your finger. “So the whole fucking city knows that you’re mine, doll.”

MASTERLIST

[fictionfixations]

the dawn knight in place of yuu

MAJOR JP BOOK 7 SPOILERS

(anyway i like calling him the knight of dawn but also thats too many words for a name im going to be repeating a lot throughout this post so dawn knight)

okay so. i was thinking about a fic to write where a character had a part of themselves appear somewhere else? like ive been getting into omniscient reader but i have a diff story im trying to commit to rn so i cant really write something with it when i dont really know shit that happens besides like end game spoilers lOl

but i find the idea of like the 49/51 (?) interesting? i think thats the right numbers. no context to people who dont know what that means but that part broke me even though all i know about omniscient reader is by reading a shit ton of orv fanfiction. my heart man... sob.

but so anyways my mind wandered to the dawn knight

kudos to that like one fic where the dawn knight's soul appeared and attached itself to yuu except i read it when i didnt even know who he was but i thought maybe he was a buddy of lilia so im just reading and getting confused on like no why you no like lilia what (also he doesnt remember iirc and i think that was just like a instinctual feeling cause yknow humans vs fae??) but uh i know context now lMFAO

but like

just imagine this person who looks like silver but blonde. who doesnt remember who he is (as hes kind of more of just a fragment of his soul? but like he appears in NRC and not RSA because he still has a lingering attachment towards silver. wanting to see him grow because he never got the chance to)

who worries over silver

is a little nervous around fae, but maybe this is ooc but like without all the pressure from what the fuck was his name henrik(??) and like the people around him who are all anti-fae, cause he wouldve liked it if they couldve been in peace and stuff yknow? and also without those memories so its not too difficult for him to get past that and see them as people who will probably not harm others (LOOK i just want twst characters to be happy man cause everything is so sad :((( )

anyway lilia has grown since then and doesnt hate humans. maybe he doesnt exactly know how to feel about the dawn knight (UM like cause meleanor. or is it maleanor? i think thats EN spelling but tbh if not for en i wouldnt know how tf to spell it. but uh ykNOW.. he kinda. uh. still killed.)

but then maybe it becomes clear that this dawn knight (who needs an actual name. dawn sounds too on the nose and i dont think lilia associates dawn with positive feelings considering when maleanor died didnt it turn dawn or something. and then they broke down because shes DEAD.???)

is not the same dawn knight he met so long ago.

like

idk

think about it in like a. okay im pulling out honkai star rail examples now. but think of it maybe like dan feng and dan heng where they're like reincarnations of each other? but not the same person? (some people think of them as still the same considering i think(? its been a hot minute since i went through story) those memories of those reincarnations are then shared to other incarnations to help them in high elder duty thingy whatever its called but i think of them as entirely different people who happen to look similar)

i guess you could view it as a 'i once was [this], but now im this and im not the same person who did all those things'

EDIT: I AM WRONG. 2.5 spoilers but its mentioned that someone made dan heng remember his past life so its NOT canon that they remember their past life. "...led her to perform certain healing arts on Dan Heng, who had just finished his hatching rebirth, so that he would regain the memories of his past life?" but anyway thats how it turned out so uh just pretend that i mean reincarnating/past life type deal but stlil having some of those memories of the former life

idk maybe theres some lilia treating him as another son since like. all three of them are orphans who were taken in???? like its implied parallel of lilia being taken in by the mal... dRACONIA family sorry i forgot the last name om. and the dawn knight being taken in by the whoever is in charge. like the dad of henrik(?) and that person whose name i cant remember i think it was leah who the dawn knight liked and married? but so anyway they both got taken in by a family and owe them a debt and fight for them (and care for them. although idk about henrik ew, but he was also like. wanting princess glow(???) which could supposedly grant wishes i think to like cure their ill father, and saying that the dawn knight should do it for leah or something? i cant remember but he convinced him with something something leah)

i dont know where im going with this thought but like. i remember the dawn knight said something like. if things could be different? but like it cant be because they've gone too far now to forgive each other? but like he wanted there to be peace.

i remember thinking about lilia's wish in the wish upon a star event, maybe it was similar i cant recall exactly

Lilia: My wish is... ...for humans, fae, and all other species to live in harmony. [Img of the wishing star] Trey: Haha, wow. That's a pretty ambitious wish. Lilia: To join joyous hands with one another is no simple feat, even for those among the same species... To say nothing of the difficulties across species divides. You've learned about our history, have you not? All the countless tales of our failure to compromise, and the resulting conflicts? I have no desire to see such history repeated. So I make the same wish every Starsending.

like the dawn knight expressed regret that it had to be this way and wanted things to change but it was far too late. but like. he never did that stuff now (well lilia will remember so poor grandpa but. he's also been really forgiving towards humans when doing it for someone? like he endures it? like when he was searching for a way to hatch malleus and these people were really against lilia for being fae when he just existed, and he didnt fight back because it would paint a bad picture for the draconias? there was another example related to silevr but i cant remember it im. not what i was thinking about but theres also when he contemplated killing baby silver but changed his mind because he'd been trying to teach malleus to like. 'walk in time with his neighbor' and so and so and i forgot what he said but that how could he do that when he should be like setting an example for malleus or something right?)

also silver learning who his parents are in a maybe less traumatic way (like NOT running away knowing malleus' mom might die and then oh shit the ceiling collapsed and IS THAT THE ENEMY oh god please dont let malleus' egg be hurt and then he shares the same face as me? and that ring-- cue silver hating himself and being dragged in by darkness and i am just sobbing my eyes out like no silver he loved you so much :((( )

and even if lilia still holds anything against the dawn knight. still has lingering feelings even towards this not-dawn knight. that he wouldnt want to condemn the dawn knight, and then have silver condemn himself for being of that blood even though he didnt even do anything yknow?

and then when lilia dies he can meet up with the ghosts of maleanor and raverne (is that spelled right? i genuinely cant remember the EN spelling but it was something like that. uhh.??) and i know thats sad but i want lilia to be able to spend more time with maleanor and raverne too yknow? but im not sure how to do that

maybe. like the. the the . council? i cant remember its name fshuidfh but those assholes who appeared when we made it to. blackscale(?) castle... ? i. forgor. maleficia(THATS GRANDMA RIGHT?? i get so confused by who is who in draconia) castle??

but like when we get there with malleus' egg and then maleanor dies

and theres just these voices of long dead old geezers who are bitches to lilia and i hate them and i dont know how they're still there and can talk but i dont want maleanor there because they're horrible. also they literally said her sacrifice was like noble or some shit like that and im just like BITCH- (also lilia is banned from the capital or something isnt he?? like i mean he can still visit the castle. but secretly. but still :( )

so i just think.

fully getting over stuff. heart demons. talking things out. lilia gets to talk about stuff for the first time in awhile (remember when like literally no one talked about the circumstances regarding malleus' birth or something so silver and sebek just had no idea what they were getting into??? and like i guess he could talk to baul? baur? idk which one is the one on EN i forgor. but idk man.)

not-dawn knight being a really good listener. being understanding, sharing his input where appropriate. and like he also gets some of his memories which put a lot of things into proper context. and so sharing thoughts of so and so. and just. basically this talk that spirals into moving on.

sharing frustrations, sharing things that never really got to be known.? like regrets, etc etc

since i think the last time they met was when silver father reveal, and time passed and he died so its just all these lingering things that never got to be said out loud for various reasons. like maybe because company is against so and so so to say something would be like idk maybe traitorous? i dont think thats the right word but words are hard and i keep forgetting words the moment i need them

its like. the unique point of view of talking about things between former enemies. like how they viewed things, etc etc

and then when lilias lived a full life, no regrets, he meets maleanor and raverne in the afterlife.

oh yeah also about his dorm i have no fucking idea. i honestly mostly forgot what each dorm represents but either ramshackle or diasomnia, which i know is like nobility or something? but anyway dawn knight married a princess, also i associate diasomnia with fae / briar valley which is related considering hes book 7 stuff so im pushing him there anyway

or maybe the mirror cant read him because his soul is fragmented. or maybe retcon and his soul isnt like that? idk but i like to think the other part of his soul is in the afterlife with his wife yknow? and eventually silver will be there and able to meet his mom and huggies, and acknowledging that these are who his parents are, but also that lilia is also his parent and the one who raised him yknow? there can be more than two parents in my eyes.

its just that his soul is like in half because of the part of him that wants to have seen silver grown. i think i said this earlier in the post but that since the last time he saw silver was as an infant (also he had blonde hair so-)

also wasnt infant silver asleep for like hundreds of years until it was either because someone who loved him came by (lilia) or because the spell finally wore off (which is what lilia thinks. i dont know where to put my two cents at tbh of which i think is right)

so dawn knight just sitting there in the afterlife like. ..man. my childs still not here. i mean. thats a good thing that they're not dead but like. i kinda wanna see them.

or well silvers the only one so i should be saying he but gidfhuj

also it was either leah or leia i am a dumbass? maybe leah was the EN one. idk i forgot.

anyway thats enough yapping for me

[agentstarkid]

This little story turns one year old this July 31st!

We hopped with Girlie on a rollercoaster of finding (true) love, being quarantined in a foreign country, lots of internet meanies, making new friends, angst, heartbreak, depresh sesh, finding love again and so much more to come -- What a wild journey it's been, and I'm so proud I took the leap!

Looking back a year ago, I can't believe how far this story and I have come. I remember being so full of uncertainty and nerves to post that first chapter, and now, a whole year later, I'm writing little blurbs and one-shots in a whole different language to my main one.

And to celebrate this milestone with you guys, the DAN-Y/N stans out there, and as a thank you for all these 365 days of support and love to Danielito & Girlie's love story—a.k.a. my baby—, I put together a list of dialogue prompts from where you can pick one—or as many as you'd like—and send it to me so I can write a little blurb to go with it!

You can request a specific moment on the fic you'd like to see more (c'mooooon, they were together for 2 whole years! Let's see if you've been paying attention hehe), or just make a general request with a quote of your choice (or you can suggest one! Can't promise much on this, but I'd try my best to bring it to life, unless it is smut. I can't write smut for shitzels yet soz).

I'll be accepting resquests for the next 2 weeks!

✧. ┊ Series Masterlist

P.S. Fingers crossed next month I can—finally—post a new chapter! Adult life has been kicking my ass these past months so please be patient with me! — But my inbox is always open to talk! :)

— All the dialogue sources are linked!

“These are way too many, omg, I’m being squeezed by these pillows, love!” “Well I just, you know, thought that since you like to hold on to me while you sleep but we can’t do that right now, I decided to bring you all these.” “Aww, I appreciate it, baby, but would you mind moving some? And even though I do have these, I will miss your warmth beside me.” 

“You weren’t uncomfortable back there, right? I just wanted to make sure you were all right.” “No, no, I wasn’t. Thank you for doing that.”

"You had no business looking that good back there."

"Those could be our kids one day." "What...?" 

“They don’t know you, love. They don’t know how much we love each other. Let them think what they want to. It doesn’t matter, you know why? Because you are enough. We are enough.”

“I don’t want you to be perfect, sweetheart. I want you to be who you are.”

“I…I wasn’t sure if you’d like this, so I just bought all the colors they had there.”

“Stoooop. Stop making me all…” “All… what?”

“Sorry. I just... like seeing that I have an effect on you, I guess.”

“Life would suck complete testicles if it weren’t for you.” 

“I like seeing you this way. so… at ease. makes me wonder how anyone could ever purposely put you under stress and live with themselves afterwards.”

"I know you're struggling right now, and it's okay, okay? We'll get through this."

“With you, I see a forever I’ve never envisioned before. Not that I didn’t want to, it’s more because I wasn’t able to… At least until I met you.”

“God, I really don’t want to leave”.

“I’m so deftly terrified of falling in love. Because what if I end up with a broken heart? That thought itself is just so scary to me. I want to, but I can’t get over that fear.” “Then how about you let me be that first step you take into falling in love? I can help you get over that fear, if you’d let me.” 

“People say they fall in love like they fall asleep — slowly, then all at once. But the way I fell for you can only be described as that feeling when you’re drifting off to sleep, only to feel like you’re falling, oh-so-suddenly. So suddenly that it ends up startling you awake; heart racing in your chest because it feels like you fell off the precipice of a cliff. It’s quick and sudden, and there’s no slowness to it. It’s a crash and burn type of love that I feel.”

“They say the second time’s the charm.” “Was the first time not charming enough for you?” “No, but the second time’s going to be even better, I promise.” 

“If people can hate for no reason,  then I can love for no reason too.”

“I dunno who taught you that love comes with conditions and limitations, but mine doesn’t. Not when it’s you.”

“I don’t know how to ask for help i just— I’ve never had anyone to ask for help from before.  so…this is me trying i guess.  I need it and i’m afraid to ask for it.  That's the best I can do.”

“You really think a relationship should be that hard?” “No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.”

“If you don’t kiss me, right now…” “Then what?” “Then I will have to do it myself.”

"I think destiny wants us to be together, and you should never argue with destiny.”

“What do you think is our song?”

“I can’t concentrate, when you look at me like that.” “Well, you should be concentrating on me instead, so…”

“Sing for me.” “What would you like to hear?”

“I feel like I can breathe better with you around.”

“You’re much better off without me.” “You’re not the judge of that.”

“I love you, okay?! And I can’t stay in your life when I’m just ruining it.” “You can’t just say that and don’t wait for me to answer.”

“Your mom is coming over today.” “Tell her to bring fried rice or she’s not invited.” “You tell her, she’s your mom.” “But she likes you more!”

“Wait, you can’t swim?” “I was always more into sports on land where, you know, I can’t drown.” “I will teach you!”

“Every night before bed I write three good things that happened to me. And every night I find myself writing down your name.”

“God, don’t do that. You’re going to make me go on Santa’s naughty list tonight.”

“This heart belongs to you, and only you. And I’d hope you want to keep it for a very, very long time.”

“What matters isn’t the place, but the person you’re with at that place. So this is to say, being with you is enough for me. So long as you are there, then all is well.”

“If you don’t wanna spend the night in a empty house, you could always come over to mine.” 

"Hey, i think i can fit over here in this corner." "What are you, a plant?" "Maybe. you shine on me every day, after all."

“I don’t know what the future holds. all i know is that i hope you’re in it. “

“Annoying you is what I���m best at.”

“You get to curl up in my lap, and I get to watch a cinematic masterpiece in peace and quiet. i think this is a pretty sweet deal.”

“This is your home, just as it is mine.”

“That was your master plan? Really?” “No, my master plan was having no plan actually.”

“When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice into your enemies’ eyes and watch them whimper.”

“Maybe i'm too late to be your first, but right now, i'm preparing myself to be your last.”

“Over everything, I choose you.”

“You’ve given me so many memories, I'd hate it if you become one”

“I hope you heal from the things you dont wanna talk about”

“I was gonna marry her…”

“Because you always been my ticket home…”

“Have you ever gone stargazing?” “yeah, i’ve seen your eyes a few times.”

"Oh God- why are you half-naked?" "nothing you haven't seen before, love" "it's freezing, go put on a shirt-" "Nah, you can warm me up." 

“You never have to fear that you’re losing me.”

“Aw, you brought out the smile.” “Which smile?” “The one reserved for the people you love.” “How could you even tell?” “Because that’s how you smile at me.”

“No, you’re not allowed to smile at me like that.”

“This is not some predestined soulmate shit or fate or whatever. I love you all on my own. Because you’re awesome and because I want to.”

“You know, I prefer you naked, but that dress also looks breathtaking on you.”

“Believe in the me that believes in you”

“Work can wait. You need rest.”

“I got the recipe from your mom, i hope i did it justice.”

“I think i deserve a cuddle for letting you stick your icy little feet on me all night.”

“Ok…so, umm I made this playlist for our first month anniversary. I hope it’s not too bad!” “Omg, this is- I can’t believe it! I always wanted someone to make me a playlist!” 

“You already are a handful. Together, you guys are insufferable.”

“I’m right here.”

“Careful, or I will fall for you.” “You’ll be fine. I’ll buy you some knee pads.” “Knee pads but no helmet?” “If you’re falling for me, you’ve already taken a hit to the head.”

“Uh-oh.” “What’s wrong?” “That’s their ‘oh, you messed with the wrong bitch, bitch’ face.”

“You look like an idiot.” “You know, other people would say it’s nice to see me so happy. Or that I have a beautiful smile.”

“I’ve never seen you this happy before.”

“(Congrats.) You’re one of us now.”

“Please, never apologise for wanting to be loved.”

“Come on. I’ll show you how to dance”

"Are you still mad at me? I mean, it's okay if you are. I'm mad at myself, too."

"Put your head on my lap and sleep a little."

 “I don’t want to go to bed angry…can we please talk about this?” 

“Your cheeks are really soft.” “Stop squishing them!”

“You didn’t have to do anything…” “But i wanted to.”

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Hey everyone.

Maybe some of you have noticed that my writing's been super sporadic since like June (if you haven't that's very okay) but I just wanted to write a little bit about what's been happening in my life because it's had a pretty big impact on my writing.

It turns out that I'm actually ace.

So, if you happen to notice an uptick in me writing fics with ace characters who still get to be loved, I'm just trying to process a thing.

Please feel free to skip the rest of this post if you're not interested in the harrowing journey of self discovery. I am absolutely giving too much information about my life, I'm just really working at processing everything and I'm hoping writing it out will help. And honestly, there have been some beautiful souls in the Tumblr community who have given me some beautiful encouragement (including but not limited to @basicallyahedgehog who answered an anon ask I sent them the other day with so much kindness and encouragement because I'd bawled my eyes out about one of their fics featuring ace Harry/Draco.).

(Anyway. If you want to read a ramble about all of the things I'm struggling with at the present moment, I'm gladly accepting advice and kindness at this time. Please read below the cut and chime in if you have anything hopeful to add.)

For most of my life I've pretty comfortably called myself a "picky bi" and in the past couple of years have labeled myself "demisexual" because I'm not sex repulsed; I've had sex, it was fine/good when it's with someone who I'm in love with. I moved on from the labeling, content with the label I'd given myself and whatnot.

It's been a minute (read: 8+ years) since I've been in a relationship that got to the point where I've considered having sex but I didn't really think all that much of it. In retrospect, I think this is largely because I've grown a lot in terms of self respect and honoring my own autonomy. Somewhere around 25, I started saying no when I didn't want something and if the other person didn't respect that decision they were not worth my time.

Anyway, it didn't really occur to me that perhaps going nearly a decade without thinking about/wanting to have sex with anyone (and without experiencing even vague aesthetic attraction to someone with only the odd exception here and there- some of you saw that post a couple of months ago, apparently just having the thought that someone is pretty isn't the same as attraction that allo people experience- so that panic now seems pretty unnecessary. It literally boggles my mind that people can just see a person they've never met and want to have sex with them. Anyway, I'm digressing.) Apparently, it's not a common occurrence even among demisexuals to go that long without thinking about sex if you have emotional intimacy with people (which I do). So fast forward to June when I went to a conference for lgbtqia christians and started listening to people talk about attraction.

To say that my experience of attraction and desire for sex is profoundly different than that of nearly all of the people that I talked to at that conference would be an understatement.

After that conference, I started talking to a lot of friends about their experience of attraction and their desire for sex (eventually this also included some new friends who are demi/ace) and have been a little flabbergasted by their responses. Suddenly, in light of the fact that my body doesn't interpret a lot of things the way that other peoples' seem to, a lot of things started to make sense.

I've been called a flirt (at best, and a [cock]tease in more unpleasant moments) my entire life because I always want to give people gentle physical affection; I love holding hands, touching people on the arm while we're having a conversation, playing with peoples' hair, hugging, leaning, the list is long- none of those things have ever felt like flirting to me. Every one of those actions was the end in itself, there was no artifice in my touches, no desire or even thought for more, but APPARENTLY that is not the thing that happens in a lot of peoples' bodies. It is incomprehensible to me that simple, affectionate touches are not something that everyone just wants to do to anyone that they harbor platonic affection for. This also applies to the way that I communicate with people. Again, I've been called a flirt, been told that I'm intense, been told that I'm trying to 'steal' peoples' boy/girl friends simply by being friends with them. APPARENTLY, showing "too much" interest in other peoples' lives and hobbies is flirting. APPARENTLY, getting really excited for people who are excited and doing cool things is flirting. Because (or so I have been told) the emotional energy I expend is too much to just be friends; surely, I have another angle.

Next, in terms of attraction, I experience attraction to beautiful things in nature in the same way that I experience it to people. If I'm being honest, nature makes my heart sing in a way that people usually don't. I can get caught up in the beauty of the world; the vastness of the ocean for literal hours, in the majesty of the mountains, the strength of trees, the way water carves a path through the rocks in glens and waterfalls. The world takes my breath away, it makes me weep just to exist in nature. Apparently, this in not everyone's experience of nature and apparently, many people who want to have sex don't think that trees, or bodies of water, or mountains have as much (or more, in my humble opinion) appeal than humans.

It's come to my attention that even the way that I have experienced heart break from relationships where I was "in love" and having sex is not the way that people typically experience heartbreak. All heart break feels the same to me; grieving leaving a job, grieving the death of a loved one, grieving horrible things that happen to my students, grieving the loss of friendships, and grieving the loss of a relationship feel like the same heart break. (Like some of those things hurt worse than others but the heart break over the loss of a relationship isn't worse.) One of my friends mentioned that I grieve the passing of summer into autumn (I fucking hate the winter) like the loss of a relationship and I wish I could say that she is wrong. I've been told my whole life that I experience my emotions too big and I just can't help but wonder if there is some sort of correlation there, but I digress.

The literal dream for my life is to have someone who wants to get in the car or on a plane and travel with me. Someone who I can make coffee for in the mornings and who wants to cook me dinner at night. Someone who wants to sit on the couch after a long day at work and talk about nothing, or watch a show, or just exist together. Someone who wants to dance with me in the kitchen, and hold my hand while we walk, who wants to smile at me while I ramble about nature. I want someone who wants to hold me when I cry, who wants to listen to me when I'm mad, someone who will remind me to take a break when I'm working too hard. The only thing that I actually want from a partner is just someone to do life with. It's not that I'm opposed to sex, it's just that it literally doesn't matter.

(So many things in past relationships, so many fights, so many of the reasons that I was left, so many things that I JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND make sense now. Or at least they're starting to.)

So. In the process of understanding this complete fuckery, of trying to put all of the pieces that haven't quite made sense in my life into order, in the end of July my best friend told me that she's in love with me.

And on the one hand, I'm fucking over the moon, delighted, honored, speechless, crazy-happy. She's literally the best person I have ever known, she's the kindest, sweetest, most loyal, loving, amazing human being to ever exist. She loves me so well, so completely, like all of the things that I said above that are my dream; that is her. We road trip together, and she lets me braid her hair, and we snuggle on the couch and watch movies, and we talk for hours (literally hours, when we road trip we go for 7-10 days at a time and I like do not shut the fuck up for more than like 5 minutes total the entire day and she loves me; loves listening to me talk about whatever is in my brain), and when I'm going on and on about how pretty things are in nature she looks at me like I'm the pretty thing (when I say, 'oh my gosh. that mountain, tree, lake, ocean, etc. is so beautiful.' she literally says 'you're so beautiful' and I am deceased, my heart can't take it, I can't fucking stop smiling- I don't even want to), and she lets me info dump about whatever I'm learning, and she loves my brain and my stupid adhd, and she plays me sappy love songs and sings them to me (and she sings in my car, sings to me even though she doesn't sing in front of people) and and and... she makes me feel like I'm good. She makes me feel like I'm all of the things that other people have said I'm not.

And I am constantly terrified of hurting her.

There are a variety of reasons we're not planning on having sex (partially because it's not really something that I want) that I'm not going to get into but I'm afraid of being what I've been to other people. I'm afraid of her feeling like I'm pushing her buttons because I just always want to be touching her (very platonically) like just having our shoulders bumping while we walk, or putting my head on her shoulder when we're on the couch, or letting our elbows press against one another while we're in the car. BUT what happens in our bodies when we're touching like that is really different. Like I described above, for me any type of touch is really the end goal in and of itself (if I'm braiding her hair, it's safe to assume that that is all I want to be doing. If I'm leaning against her on the couch, that too is what I'm wanting.) But that's not always how her body wants to interpret touch, even if she logically knows that I'm not intentionally teasing (she would never say that she feels like I'm trying to tease her, for the record, it's just the easiest way for me to articulate what it feels like could be happening).

And I love her so much, like so much; I'd do anything for her but it's not the same kind of love that she feels for me. By which I mean that she is just really gay and actively attracted to me emotionally/physically but for me if she started dating someone else, I'd be actually fine with that. If she was dating/having sex with someone I wouldn't be jealous, as long as we still get to be friends. (And maybe her dating would necessarily change the dynamic of our friendship and that would be really hard but that's a different mental exercise.) This isn't the way that she feels.

She is so special and important to me but even the way that we are aware of the other person's presence is different. For me, if I'm in a group of people and she's there, I'm aware of that on some level but it's not at the forefront of my mind. My brain is always sort of 'triaging' the people around me when they're my friends; who's being too quiet? who has been going through a rough patch with work/family, etc? who has an exciting new thing they need someone to squeal about with them? who hasn't been included in the conversation in too long? (see the paragraph above about flirting. haha.) She's there but she often isn't the first person I'm thinking about because I talk to her almost every day, I get to love her every day, and odds are good that we either drove together or will talk on the phone our way home from the event- I see the other people there less, so my brain just prioritizes them since I have less time to love them. (This is actually really good, healthy progress for me in terms of healthy attachment and not forming a codependent relationship. My therapist and I are really proud of the work I'm doing, but I'm digressing again.) For her, though, she always knows exactly where I am. It is work for her to pay attention to other conversations, work to be in a different room. In most situations, I am the person she defaults to thinking about and wanting to be near and she has to actively choose other things if she wants to. (And I don't mean to sound like an absolute asshole, it's not like I ignore her or anything, and I'm delighted for us to be in the same conversations, it's just a different way that we engage with the world.)

I love her so much. And I'm afraid of messing everything up. Of hurting her. Of asking too much of her without asking for anything at all. I try to let her be the one to initiate physical touch (or I ask first) because sometimes it's too hard on her body and that's fair. I feel frustrated with the different ways that we experience love for each other because the way that she loves me feels so good and safe to me and it makes me feel so happy. I'm afraid that the way that I love her doesn't feel as nice for her, that it feels less than, that the way I express my love and devotion isn't as good. I'm afraid that the way she loves me is going to wear her out. She always says she knows I love her just as much as she loves me, it's just different. She says she's okay, she says that the way I love her is good for her and she's happy. But it's hard to believe.

I'm afraid that she'll fall in love with someone else who can love her the way she loves and I won't matter to her anymore (partially because that's been my experience of people who have said they're in love with me). I'm afraid.

Is it even fair to entertain the idea of maybe having a whole life together? (we're already entertaining the ideas, already daydreaming about 'what if we lived together', where we're going on our next road trip, etc. And I'm terrified.) Is it asking her to give up too much? I would spend the rest of my life with her. I'd be good and kind to her, I would love her with so much tenderness. But is it enough? Am I enough with just the things that I have to give? Is it actually possible for someone to love me for just me and not for the ways that I could contort myself to be something I'm not?

I recognize the irony in what I'm asking. I know that that's what all of these hundreds of stories I've written here say, it's what I want to believe. But is it even possible when it's reality?

I don't know. Does anyone have any good advice? Any ace people out there living with a person who's in love with them? Does anyone have something that's lasted?