#I wanted there to be a scene that showed how Gandalf found out Bilbo with it

[anneangel]

Bilbo in the book tells all the dwarves that he has a "magic" ring. But he doesn't tell It to Gandalf.

Bilbo in the movie doesn't tell anyone he has a "magic" ring. Much less Gandalf, even after the wizard openly asked about it.

—

Gandalf: Do you had a problem with me, Bilbo?

Bilbo: well, I didn't want you to know about it, and thinking about it now, maybe the ring didn't want too. But for someone so shifty, you took a long time to arrive out about this.

Gandalf: but then how could LotR be a race against time and most dangerous, if it weren't like that? We have had many honorable trials of willpower and sagas of heroes for the bards to tell. And The king returned, so all's well that ends well.

Bilbo: So is this how you intend to justify all the time you took to find out about the Ring?

Gandalf: Even because, at the time, The Ring wasn't even my task.

Bilbo: It doesn’t look good for the book. We need a better excuse than that.

Gandalf: We just need to polish the plot better with some good old philosophical flourishes. So put something like this "everything happens at the time it has to happen".

Bilbo: Even because 'A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he mean to'.

Gandalf: Exactly. You got the rhythm of the idea, now remind Frodo of this!

#incorrect quote

[eglerieth]

Some of y’all are not appreciating Bilbo Baggins enough. I am here to remedy that. This guy has:

• somehow managed to establish himself as a respectable, staid hobbit by the time he was fifty, despite being both a grandson of Bullroarer Took and the Shire champion of pretty much every aiming-game known to hobbitkind

• had an in-depth debate on pleasantries with a random guy passing by in the street, who turned out to be GANDALF

• collapsed in front of his own fire shaking and muttering “struck by lightning” over and over again in response to hearing about dragons and danger

• mind you, this was after he screamed loud enough to startle a roomful of Dwarves

• signed up for a dangerous quest completely outside of his league out of spite

• when told to scout out a mysterious light, saw some trolls, and instead of reporting back with the information, decided to PICK THE TROLLS POCKET

• arrived in Rivendell for the first time and said it “smelled like elves”

• upon meeting a strange creature that visibly wanted to eat him, he decided to play a riddle game with him- and guessed pretty much every one, and made up his own riddles, afraid and alone, that not only were good and full of linguistic puns, but actually stumped the other guy- AND THEN CHEATED AND WON WITH A QUESTION

• showed mercy to said strange creature who wanted to kill him, and was now standing between him and freedom

• eavesdropped on the dwarves arguing over whether to try to save him, then popped up casually smack in the middle of them just as they were debating

• somehow managed to sleep like a log at the really really high eyrie full of wild predators

• found himself in a bad situation, said eff it, and turned around and antagonized and fought off an insane amount of man eating spiders, like enough of them that fifty was a small portion, by singing at them with incredibly complex and punny insulting songs composed on the spot, while simultaneously slaying them in multitudes despite having zero combat training. Seriously, we don’t discuss enough how epic the spider scene is.

• broke a company of dwarves out of the very secure prison of the Elvenking by inventing white water rafting with barrels

• charmed his way out of being eaten by a dragon

• stole the frickin Arkenstone from the guys who employed him, one of whom was a king

• took part in an epic battle, only to be knocked out in the first ten minutes and miss the entire thing

• was named elf-friend by the guy who’s prisoners he sprung

• wrote his own autobiography, complete with all the narrative recognition of his own heroics

• spent 60 years writing said autobiography

• taught his lower class neighbor’s kid how to read

• taught his nephew Elvish- not only Sindarin, but Quenya too

• spent decades telling his cousins his own story as fairy tales, complete with character impressions accurate enough that one of them was able to fool a servant of the Enemy with a second hand impression

• used the One Ring of Power to hide from his neighbors

• planned an elaborate feast with multiple social faux pas to mess with his neighbors, complete with a purposefully bewildering speech and culminating in him vanishing into thin air in front of everyone

• left his cousins and neighbors very unsubtle passive aggressive gifts in his will

• settled into Rivendell, randomly befriended the heir to the throne of like half of Middle Earth, and apparently spent his time writing very personal poems about his hosts and reciting them to crowds of elves

• after being invited to a Council of basically every major kingdom in the continent, spent a quarter of the time reciting vague poems about his friends, a quarter of the time telling anyone who would listen about his heroic past, and half the time interrupting to ask when lunch would be

• volunteered to bring the ring to Mordor

• became one of only four or five mortals in history to live in Valinor

Seriously, Bilbo Baggins may well be the most chaotic, insane person in the entire legendarium, and that includes the likes of people like Finrod “bit a werewolf to death to save the life of guy who he just met and gave up his kingdom for” Felagund.

[novelmonger]

I'm continuing on to the next LotR audio commentary. This one is with the design team, and there's a lot more people talking in this one! Including:

Grant Major (production designer), Ngila Dickson (costume designer), Richard Taylor (Weta Workshop creative supervisor), Alan Lee (conceptual designer), John Howe (conceptual designer), Dan Hennah (supervising art director/set decorator), Chris Hennah (art department manager), and Tania Rodger (Weta Workshop manager)

So here are some highlights of things that are new to me (after avidly watching all the BTS documentaries multiple times over the years) from FotR:

The guy who made the One Ring originally didn't want to do it because he didn't like fantasy, but then his sons badgered him until he agreed to do it - kind of a similar story to Viggo Mortensen, I think. He ended up contracting cancer and dying during the production of the first movie.

Alan Lee storyboarded a potential sequence for showing how Bilbo got the Ring. They would show Gollum grabbing a fish, taking off the Ring while he ate, and then it would roll away until Bilbo found it.

Some of Ngila Dickson's phrases and diction are pinging really loudly in my sense of deja vu - like, I remember hearing those exact phrases before. But I even went and watched the costume design portion of the Appendices, and none of it was a repeat. Have I actually heard this commentary before and then forgot all about it? @_@

The guy (the primary guy? I can't imagine it was only one person) they put writing on all the scrolls and things worked in a bank and had a hobby doing calligraphy. They hired him to do just a few things at first, putting writing on some props, but then it got to the point where he actually had to quit his job at the bank and start working full-time for LotR, and then continued to do stuff for merchandise for New Line. I do wonder what he did once the movies were all made and over with....

I always forget how they had to have two scales of everything. Not just stuff like Gandalf's staff or the sets, but they had to have two scales of all the props like cups and books and things. They even had to have two different sizes of horses, depending on the scene!

Lawrence Makoare, who played Lurtz, would have to start getting into makeup at 10 p.m. the night before he had a scene, so that he would be ready at 8 a.m. the next day @_@

Most of the horses used in the movies were Andalusian horses imported from Australia.

When they would film outside in nature, like in the forest where they shot on-location scenes for Rivendell, they would have to remove the native plants that were there, keep them in a greenhouse, plant whatever plants and other things they needed for the movie, then take them out again and put the original plants back. This would actually leave the area better than the way they found it, because they would remove weeds and things like that.

John Howe commented on how difficult it is to do hair in something like this that's meant to be kind of "historical," even though it's fantasy. Hairstyle is one of the things that is quickly outdated, so if you do it wrong, it can be jarring to watch the movie in later decades. He said, "I wonder how it will look 20 years from now." It's twenty years later, John. It looks every bit as good as it did in 2001 :')

Okay, I feel like this had to have been in the BTS documentary, but I don't remember it. For the moment where Bilbo goes Gollum-esque for a second when Frodo puts the Ring away, they morphed between his face and a puppet they made of Ian Holm looking deranged. Ian Holm was thrilled with the puppet and had several photos taken of himself with it, and then when it was time for him to leave New Zealand, they made a bronze version of the puppet and gave it to him as a memento! XD

For the shots of the Fellowship bursting out of the snow after the avalanche, they went to the Mt. Hart ski field, which was closed because of a blizzard. They were allowed to go out on the ski field, make snow caves, and film the actors bursting out into the open. The Hobbits wore Ugg boots over their hobbit feet in the snow when their feet wouldn't be in the shot XD Apparently, Richard Taylor actually asked Peter Jackson if there could be a scene of the Hobbits wrapping their feet in bandages or something, just so the actors could protect their feet a bit more in harsh terrain like that, but PJ said no, because the Hobbits' feet would be tough enough to be able to withstand all of that. Poor guys! x.x

Huh. I always assumed that they made the effect of ithildin by putting little glowing lights on the doors of Moria, or else maybe added it in post. But actually, they put some kind of reflective material on the design, and then shone a light from behind the camera, so it would reflect on the design and make it look like it was glowing! I feel like, if this movie were made today, they would totally have just done it with CG, but this makes it so much more realistic. Also, they had to paint the doors, but obviously couldn't paint over the reflective material, so they put plasticine over the design, then painted it, then took the doors to the site. They were still taking the plasticine off the doors when the whole crew and the actors turned up and started rehearsing the scene! So apparently, if you look hard enough, you can actually see a few small parts of the design on the door that are missing, because they accidentally left some of the plasticine on!

Okay, we all know about the crazy amount of attention to detail in these movies, but this story just takes the cake. In the room with Balin's tomb, there's all this Khuzdul writing on the walls. Someone wrote out all the text and had their in-house translator translate it into Dwarvish runes that they then carved into the walls. During one of the days they were shooting the cave troll battle, they had invited a Tolkien language scholar to visit the set, and he stormed out in an outrage, saying that someone had written something like "Joe was here" on the walls, which was disrespectful to Tolkien's legacy, etc. etc. Horrified to hear this, the art department got their translator to go over the set with a fine-tooth comb, trying to find the "graffiti" this guy had seen, because they'd already filmed a lot of shots of this scene, and they knew that there would be fans who would freeze-frame the scene and translate what's written on the walls. But they couldn't find it anywhere! So eventually they cornered the Tolkien scholar and asked him where he'd seen it, and it turned out that it was just some guy on the crew who'd told him that. Apparently, the Tolkien scholar was so uptight and serious about everything, this guy was just poking fun at him, and it snowballed from there. So they ended up wasting a lot of time looking for a mistake that wasn't even there, because that's how dedicated everyone was to getting every detail of this movie right.

The Moria orcs were originally designed to have pale, almost translucent skin (inspired by an axolotl! O.O), but when they saw footage of it on the first day, they realized the contrast with all the darkness in Moria was too much, and it made the orcs look like they were glowing, so they had to make them darker.

The eyes of the Moria orcs were enlarged after the fact, so when they made the prosthetics, they had to make the eyeholes extra big so the eyes would look like they fit after they were enlarged.

Originally, there was an idea that the Balrog would burst out from a wall somewhere while they're trying to jump across the gap in the stairs, and just generally make that scene even more tense and exciting, but then they realized that to do so would basically eat up half their budget, so they decided to do it the way it is in the final version XD

The boats' design was based on a leaf of a lemon tree. If you drop a lemon leaf in the water, it will look like a tiny version of the Elven boats! 8D

Ohhhh, so the scene where the Fellowship gets attacked by Orcs along the way down the Anduin was going to be a sequence at Sarn Gebir, where there are dangerous rapids, so the Fellowship has to land on the shore and carry their boats past. But then Orcs attack, there's a whole action scene, and they have to hurry back onto the water and navigate the rapids. But they never shot it, because right after they'd built the set and got all ready, they were hit with a lot of rain and flooding, and the water level in the lake where they were filming rose five meters and completely washed away the set. So that whole sequence got permanently canceled.

While working on Amon Hen, Alan Lee fell off the stone seat (kind of like Frodo!) and broke his wrist. Thankfully, it was his left wrist, so he could keep drawing.

The Uruk-Hai's hair was horsehair that they had to import because they needed it in such large quantities. In the location where they shot the battle at Amon Hen, the ground was covered with prickly bracken of some kind, so every time an Uruk fell on the ground and then got up for the next take, they would have to carefully pluck all the bits of bracken out of their hair @_@

The fletching on the Uruk arrows is supposed to be, not feathers, but Warg hair O.O

Okay, I knew they made a silicone dummy of Boromir for when his body goes over the falls, but they only had four days to make it?! :O

In the final scene, where Frodo and Sam are looking out over Mordor, what Sean and Elijah were actually looking at was a ski resort with cabins and a ski lift. "The one place in all Middle-Earth we don't want to see," indeed! XD

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

The Marali Festival Commentary Day 5

And we’ve reached the end of the commentary for this story! Thank you so much everyone who has stuck it out this long, reading my HEAVILY detailed notes. (I like talking about this stuff 😭) And I hope everyone is ready for the accompanying drabble I have prepared for tomorrow. 👀

**SPOILERS FOR THIS FIC BELOW**  

Chapter 13- Kiss

Okay so this was my FAVORITE chapter to write. But, I’m always a sucker for confession scenes.

“Did you accept Tabor’s suit?”

Bilbo wanted to scream and rant and throw things. Stupid obtuse dwarf! Did he sound like someone happily courting another?

“No, I didn’t.” He snapped back.

Silence again.

“Bilbo, malkânê (my hobbit), mudùmê (my comfort) please open the door.”

The RELIEF I hope was physically palpable from Thorin right here as he rushes to spew endearments knowing Bilbo is still blessedly single. 

“Not your fault. I’m sorry that I’ve ruined our friendship with my stupid…” Bilbo mumbled.

“No! No, Bilbo. I’m afraid you’re misinterpreting my words.”

“That’s entirely the problem! I’ve misinterpreted this whole time that you…”

Thorin rolled his eyes before his lips locked onto the hobbit’s own. Bilbo froze before he slowly began to look up, hoping against all hope he didn’t just imagine that.

“Malkânê, my hobbit.” Thorin translated as he pressed a kiss to Bilbo’s forehead. “Mudùmê, my comfort.”

Another kiss, this time to the tip of Bilbo’s nose.

“And amrâlimê, my love.” He breathed before kissing Bilbo on the lips once more.

This was one of my favorite things to write! Thorin spelling out what he’s been saying in khudzul with kisses inbetween.😊

“I created a garden of my own. That’s how hobbits court? With flowers? It seemed appropriate for a day to celebrate the earth.”

Let it be said that Thorin’s ‘courting gift’ here was going to be more of a test in universe before Fili, Kili, and Tabor’s interference. Does Bilbo like it? Does he think it’s a romantic gift? Yes? Time to actively court him now! But, Bilbo’s basically confessed at this point so he has his answer.

“Just once, plainly, for me…tell me you love me?” He whispered fearfully, shutting his eyes against the idea of rejection now.

A string of kisses traced his jaw before finding his lips once more. Chaste, questioning, but present.

“Bilbo Baggins, I love you.”

Words of affirmation are definitely a Bilbo Baggins love language. Of course, if I had just had my heartbroken to be stitched back together .5 seconds later, I’d probably want the reassurance as well.

Chapter 14- Fireworks

So back-tracking to this Valentines’ list I’ve been using. The final day was actually supposed to be ‘First Date’. But when I started plotting this out, I again, changed it to fit my purposes...even though it sorta was a first date. 

“What’s got you down, Tabor?” Fili questioned.

“I was demoted!” He whined. “And no, before you ask. Not to guard duty for your idiots. I’m on gate duty for the next two months!”

Was Thorin a bit harsh? Probably. But also you know, his hobbit. 

Both of his nephews flailed dramatically. His youngest trying to plead with his beloved for mercy.

“I actually would have been much worse. You should thank him for showing you leniency.”

Thorin had to fight down the grin when Kili did just that with a whiney edge to his voice. He was not about to let the elf know he was amused.

And that’s was the moment Tauriel won over Thorin.

“Surprised at our courting?”

“Surprised it had not happened already.”

Thorin found himself snorting at the wizard’s wink and twinkling eyes. Honestly, he was as bad as his sister.

“Yes, well. Not for a lack of trying. Do you know how many blackberry tarts I’ve baked for this dwarf?” Bilbo sniffed with a put on expression.

Wait…blackberries?

I had to make Gandalf not only a Bagginshield shipper, but the only one to understand all the subtle hobbit hints Bilbo had been dropping while Thorin stands there like ‘wait, what?’

Thorin just watched as Bilbo’s delight lit up in shades of red, green, and blue with each explosion overhead. Slowly, he backed away from the hobbit moving to the small boulder that hid Thorin’s final surprise. He had not intended to give it tonight. He wanted to wait and let it be his next courting gift, but after he finally left Bilbo, he spent all night finishing his project. He didn’t want there to be a single doubt of his desire to make things official between him and his hobbit.

Bilbo realizing he had slipped away, turned to face him only to blink in surprise at the object thrust between them. The metallic bouquet with jeweled flowers lit up under the falling lights of the fireworks. Edelweiss for devoted courage, hydrangeas for gratitude, sweet pea for delicate pleasures, and yellow tulips for the sunshine is in your smile. A courting gift worthy of a hobbit. Thorin couldn’t say anything as he gently took Bilbo’s free hand in his own. Not that he needed to. Relief swam on Bilbo’s face as the flowers said everything Thorin couldn’t.

SHAMELESS PLUG FOR @stardryad-random​ and her AMAZING illustration. 😭😭 It really helped to make this story just that much more special. Thank you my friend!!

AND THAT’S THE END!! Cue the fireworks... 🤣 I also wrote a smut sequel, but I’m not going to commentate unless someone specifically requests. Otherwise, thank you guys for all your love for this fic!  💖💖

[watercolorofthemoon]

i forced my roommate to watch both LOTR and The Hobbit with me. Here are some highlights

LOTR:

Roomie: I like this gandalf dude Me: Oh yeah me too. he's a bit questionable sometimes but we love him

30 seconds later, gandalf fighting saruman: Roomie: NO MY SKRUNKLY

Roomie: awe sam is a precious boy Me, internally: oh you dont even know the half of it

merry and pippin stealing crops: Roomie: ARE THEY THE BASTARD LITTLE BROTHERS?? me: I mean i gues- Roomie: FOUND FAMILY LETS FUCKING GO

Elrond being disappointed and having strong eyebrows: Roomie: i feel like i've let down my dad and i dont even have a dad

Roomie: i don't really like boromir that much- me, pausing the movie to explain why boromir is extremely valid: I WILL HAVE NO BOROMIR SLANDER Roomie: is this bc he's a himbo

Roomie: this thorin guy sounds pretty gay if he's given bilbo this thing thats worth more than the shire me, internally: YOU HAVE NO IDEA MOTHERFUCKER

gandalf dying: roomie: NO MY BOY

roomie: please tell me gimli and legolas are gay, because everyone else seems extremely straight me: they arguably one of the gayest duos, yes. roomie: oh good. i thought they straight-washed sam for no reason me: i mean. there are a lot of frodo and sam moments that have no heterosexual explanation viggo breaking his toes: me, practically bursting at the seams: roomie: oh god what is it me: DID YOU KNOW-

gandalf is alive: roomie: FUCK YEAH MY BOY

me, explaining the uruk-hai: roomie: fucked up of a yas character to do that tbh (referring to saruman's manicure)

theoden being stubborn at helm's deep: roomie: okay i like him BUT COME ONNN MAN

eowyn picking up merry before they ride to gondor: roomie: I KNOW I WANTED TO KISS HER FOr A REASON MWAH MWAH EOWYN me:...she gets a bf roomie: NOT ANYMORE

aragorn: for frodo roomie, bursting into tears: me: whoa whoa u good roomie: ITS HIS DAD. ITS FRODO'S DAD.

sam literally carrying frodo up a mountain: roomie:...thats a bit gay mount doom blowing up: roomie: thats unecessary and homophobic

frodo sailing to the undying lands: roomie: TAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND WITH YOU YOU COWARD

The Hobbit:

the scene with baby bilbo: roomie: NAUR I LOVE HIM

bilbo and gandalf interacting as adults: roomie: this feels like it could go very wrong thorin finally showing up: roomie: listen im gay but i'd consider it me: he's probably also gay roomie: mlm and wlw solidarity okay we're bffs now

bilbo running out of the door: roomie: again. this feels like this could go very wrong. me, internally: oh fuck how do they KNOW already

thorin throwing down his weapon bc bilbo got caught by trolls: roomie:....thats....sus. me:...if this is sus...oh boy...

thorin's obvious dislike of elves @ rivendell: roomie: okay so. explain to me why thorin doesn't like elves again- me: did you not watch the entire introduction to thorin? roomie: NO WAIT I REMEMBER THE BLOND BITCH

saruman showing up: roomie: ew.

galadriel showing up: roomie: HELLO SAILOR AWOOGA AWOOGA

bilbo and thorin nearly falling off at the mountain pass: thorin: he's been lost ever since he stepped out his front door roomie: WDYM YOU'RE ALL FUCKED UP- thorin stop being mean to your husband

the entirety of the goblin tunnels and gollum: roomie: this does not bode well. at all. the ring showing up: roomie: I WAS RIGHT

azog versus thorin scene: roomie: dumb bitch...OH NO DOES HE DIE- bilbo to the rescue: oh no its chill, just gay

the iconic carrock scene: roomie:....this is incredibly gay bestie me: i'm aware.

the entirety of the beorn's house arc: roomie: ...i like beorn. he's feral and skrunkly. so is radaghast.

legolas showing up: roomie: *surprised pikachu face*

tauriel and kili's interactions: roomie: damn i was hoping she would be gay me: i mean with the right headcanons she can totally be a lesbian roomie: UR SO RIGHT OMG

kili getting shot with arrow: roomie: NO THE GAYS-

the laketown master existing: roomie: EAT THE RICH.

bilbo and thorin on the boat together: roomie: oh they definitely fucked in laketown-

tauriel healing kili and them holding hands: roomie: oh no don't make me feel sad for straight ppl me: again. they don't have to be straight. roomie: I KNOW BUT ITS THE PRINCIPLE OF IT

bilbo waking up smaug: roomie: oh bilbo...oh you sweet summer child...you stupid bitch.

thorin threatening bilbo initially: roomie: oh fuck. it got worse. me, internally: oh honey. oh no.

thorin's gold sickness and then nearly killing bilbo at the ramparts: roomie: NO THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GAY AND HAPPY HOW COULD YOU

*doesn't say anything almost the entire battle until the kili and fili die* roomie: noooo the skrunklies NOOOOOOO

thorin, fucking dies in bilbo's arms: roomie: *turns to look at me with the most murderous look on her face* me: *nervous laughter* so about it getting worse- roomie: IM GOING TO KILL YOU.

end for now, if we end up watching trop together ill let yall know <3

[idjitlili]

Oh no, all the hobbits Aragorn.

Aragorn x reader.

Request for Thatfoolishhuman 'I would love an Aragorn imagine! Could you do one where the Mc is a healer (like, she can make wounds disappear with her hands.) and she patches Aragorn up after a battle and he falls in love with how gentle she is.'

Summary: Imagine being apart of the fellowship, being Gandalf's niece , you learn some stuff from him whether he liked it or not. Basically following the fellowship in secret from Rivendell, until you slipped up.

A/n: Arwen and Aragorn aren't together in this imagine, he still grew up with Elrond. A pitch is a piggyback ride it's the original name for it. Totally didn’t make a meme for this

Word count:2253

Warnings: I'm British, so spelling for certain words differs, such as grey, colour, among other words, don't be mad please.

Growing up around a wizard, especially Gandalf the grey, you learnt a lot. He just left books laying around, books full of spells. Of course Gandalf wasn't really related to you, but he might as well have been. Your parents travelled a lot, so you ended up being around Gandalf most of your childhood.

Gandalf had taught you some basic spells, nothing major, healing spells mostly, children are clumsy. It was no secret your parents didn't like you running through the forests, saying it was too dangerous , general protectiveness, you guess. Many times they proved that they were right, many times you had fallen into traps left for animals. You would've probably bled out, if it wasn't for Gandalf.

Still living with your parents, no longer a child, not knowing what you wanted to do, you parents wanted you to go work in the local bakery, not wanting you to travel around like they did, dangerous times with black riders frequently on the road and such. But of course you didn't want a simple life.

Again your parents had left on business, this time you didn't go to Gandalf's house, you had maybe listened in, when going to visit Frodo , only to see Samwise Gamgee listening under the window. You know how it goes, Gandalf caught him, not you.

You ended up following Frodo, Sam , Merry and Pippin. Life is boring, might as well take a risk, you longed for adventure, like the mister Bilbo. 

Surprisingly the elves had not even noticed you at Rivendell, actually not surprising Gandalf had brought you there many times, so they probably thought you were with him. You had waited in the trees outside Rivendell's gates, for them. 

You hadn't know what was actually going on , or whether there would actually be a quest, but to your lucky there was. Not really lucky for Boromir though... soon enough Frodo and Gandalf had emerged along with 7 others.

You weren't noticed for a long time considering, Frodo's fault completely, when Frodo had fallen down the mountain in the snow, you had been hiding not so great in the snow, and of course Frodo landed facing you. While Aragorn had rushed back to Frodo, Frodo's face was laced with confusion as he stared at you.

"Y/n...?" Frodo had stood up, not realising he had dropped the ring, you rising with your backpack and coat one, with the snow littering your hair.  Aragorn had just stared too moving towards Frodo, carefully, the others travelling down to see what was going on.

"Oh, Frodo!  What are you doing here? I was just out to get some milk for my dinner." Standing calf deep in snow, freezing, yet your facing burning with embarrassment.

"I was wondering when you'd reveal yourself." Gandalf chuckling , of course he knew you were there, but what you didn't know was that Gollum had been not even three feet away from you..  Gandalf had turned back grabbing the ring from Boromir and launching it at Frodo, like he was Michael Jordan.

"Gandalf who is this?" Gimli of all of the fellowship had questioned you, he wasn't afraid to speak his mind.

"Y/n is my niece , now come along we don't have all day."

Thus, you were no longer a stalker , but part of the fellowship. Time had passed and you had lost your uncle, but it didn't feel right, you couldn't process his death, so you pretended he just slipped on some bread and was at home resting.

Soon enough you were all heading for Lothlórien, without realising it, you had stayed close to Legolas at this moment, mostly to bug him.

"If elves are so great, then how didn't you notice me? For all you know I could've been watching you pee, I wasn't but I could've been.  While you was sleeping I could've chopped your hair off and made a wig. Why do you look like your are apart of a dance routine? Why do you float? How does it feel to have a dick for a father?" Rambling on , you are surprised that Legolas doesn't whoop you, he could've, you wouldn't have been able to do much, you aren't the best person at defence.

You couldn't tell if you was annoying Legolas or not, but Gimli had kept smirking your way, as he stomped through the forest.

"Hey, Legolas? "

"Yes, y/n?" Legolas had sighed , he much preferred Gimli antics.

"Can I have a pitch?" But he had just stared at you, frowning, huffing you had walking around Legolas so you was next to Aragorn. Only for your ankle to roll, making you fall into Aragorn, it didn't necessarily hurt but. Aragorn had grabbed you and placed you back onto your feet.

"Um, Aragorn? You know you much better that Legolas..? Can I have a pitch?" You were undoubtedly attracted Aragorn, come on, he looks like a God. Fuck Thor. He didn't even answer just knelt down, allowing you to grip around his neck, and grab your calf's. Carrying on walking with ease.

Raising your eyebrows and smirking at Legolas behind you, he just never showed any emotion, except in that scene with Haldir , where he just smirks creepily in the background.

You weren't particularly close to anyone in the fellowship other than Frodo and Sam. But when Boromir died, yes it was sad, but where did the hobbits go? You had stayed close to Aragorn as he fought down the Uruk-hai as you hid in a tree. Before lifting you down, rushing to dying Boromir.

"They took the little ones,"

"Be still."

"Frodo! Where is Frodo?"

"I let Frodo go."

"Then you did what I could not. I tried to take the Ring from him."

Kneeling next to Boromir, "The hobbits Aragorn, but we shall get them back." Boromir was too far gone to be saved, the wrong brother died sadly. Boromir eyes had met yours once more , as he smiled , before he finished his speech to his king.

After Boromir was sent home, the fellowship was down to just four, rushing after Merry and Pippin.  "We must hurry! The hobbits Aragorn!" Five minutes of running , and you were already getting a stitch.  This was no time for jokes.

Soon enough Gandalf was alive, and Aragorn was dead, as Théoden had lead you all to helms deep. You had seen Eowyn, oh how heartbroken she was after she found out Aragorn was dead, that bitch knew him for what five minutes, she was already grinding up on him.

You were witch, she was a princess, obviously Aragorn was going to prefer her. Soon enough Aragorn practically marching into helms deep, injured but alive , what's with all the faked deaths.

After Aragorn had done his big speech and everyone had left to get ready for war, you had stayed behind obviously, you didn't want to confront him in front of everyone. "Uh, Aragorn?" You were unsure of yourself, honestly, you can't have a crush on a king. You swear kings have bad hair, lucky Aragorn didn't , look at the British royal family.. now that's embarrassing.

Aragorn had turned Aragorn to face you, waiting for you to speak, he definitely didn't fall from heaven, the Valar decided to test him by shoving him off a cliff.

"Um, I was wondering if I c-could help with those wounds, um, I didn't know if you needed help?" You were sure that your face was probably flushed red, it would be surprising if he could even understand you , as you stumbled over your own words.

Aragorn had nodded , before sitting down near by.  Grabbing the king foil out of your bag , along with other healing herbs, Aragorn had removed his jacket and undone some of the buttons on his tunic. Bringing a stool in front of Aragorn for you to sit.  You weren't about to chew up the kings foil,  tearing it up before trying to gently apply it to the huge gash across his chest.

A small groan had emerged from his lips as you had placed a piece kings foil to the gash too harshly. "Sorry." Looking into Aragorn's bright eyes , for a spilt second before going back to gently placing the kings foil. Aragorn stops you , by grabbing your wrist , not with force, making you look back up at him.

"Do not be sorry, I just fell off a cliff, I've been through worse." A smile reassuring smile plant on his face, but you can only think what is worse than falling off a cliff.

"Okay, sorry, I mean I'm not sorry, you are very intelligent or a king, there's warg! Let's go fight our enemy on the edge of a cliff. Um, actually that's embarrassing because I fell down a well because a owl scared me, I was stuck down there for hours, and then Gandalf found me and used a bucket to get me out. I had to sit in the bucket while he pulled it up."

Aragorn had let go of your wrist , allowing you to continue as you spoke, "you have not changed."

"Pardon?" Aragorn was smiling down at you as your eyebrows scrunched together.

" Last week I saw leaf , hit you in the back of your neck, you jumped three feet in the air." Your face flushed again, as you tried to contain a smile, as Aragorn laughed at you.

"I did not, that was not a leaf, it was a snake!"

"A green round snake, I believe you , y/n" you had stopped applying the kings foil, to put your head between your nerves , to hide your face in embarrassment . "It was a deformed snake."

"Last month, you skidded in mud and fell flat on your back, when Legolas put his hand on your shoulder briefly. Or when you kicked Boromir's cock when he was try-" sitting back up to look at Aragorn.

"You are right, next time it will be you that I will kick." Aragorn could not have shut his legs quicker, making you laugh at him, "I'll have to start wearing a shield."

"Never know when I'll strike, your balls are going to be deformed." Aragorn had gasped at you, as you brought your hand other his wound beginning to heal him as you chanted quietly.

"Such foul language, Gandalf would not approve." Looking up to Aragorn with a small smile, placing your other hand on his shoulder softly, to stop him from moving.  Really the healing didn't take very long, the cut left a blood stain though.  "Stay there," (or you get unprofessional neutering.) Grabbing the water pouch from your bag, and piece of cloth.

Before returning to sit in front of Aragorn with the damp cloth, wiping off the dried blood gently.  You couldn't help but feel like you had done something good today, you got to heal ,clean an very attractive man stopping his wound from getting infected and him dying. 

Plus,he's Aragorn, who wouldn't want to touch his chest.   As you finished, you had look down for your pouch, only to see how blood his hands were. Lifting his hand up to examine it, no way you were a doctor. " How have you not gotten infection? All that Orc blood going into your open wounds." Again having to heal all the  little cuts and slices on his hands.

It was no secret to Aragorn that he had developed a like for you, from the moment Frodo saw you sticking out in the snow like a mole heap.

“Tis the best you are going to be, after this battle you will covered again. Legolas probably glide through here, any minute asking where his beloved is.” Both of you standing up, grabbing your bag, you had leant up to press a kiss to Aragorns cheek, before turning away to head to where the woman and children were, Gandalf’s orders.

Aragorn had stopped you again, by the shoulder, causing you to turn back around. “Y/n, thank you. May I ask for something else?” Aragorns eyes looking into your e/c ones

softly, you had nodded. “Would you accept me courtship?” You had just pressed your lips slow onto his before pulling away.

The door was quickly opened “ARAGORN!” Legolas glided into the room, rushing towards you and Aragorn. Sighing “your beloved is here,” Legolas was stood between both of you, you had to walk around him, to wrap your arms around Aragorn,briefly embracing, before pulling away.

Legolas just stared, “I’m not hugging you too, leg a less, that’s what your name would be if you had no legs, because your legs aragorn”

[elvish-sky]

The Temptation of Regality: A Sense of Belonging {Thorin x Reader}

A.N: So first of all, this is not the big falling out/angsty part of the story, that’s in a few chapters. The troll scene is one of my favorites in both book and movie, and I actually wrote a full separate thing using all the dialogue and stuff from the book and movie but figured that if you guys wanted that you could just read/watch them. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! Please consider voting/commenting, it really makes my day! 

Word Count: 1,786

Pairing: Eventual Thorin x Reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, Thorin is a jerk

****

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

Part 2: A Sense of Belonging

“Uh oh.” You paused mid-swing as the sounds of fighting died down around you and looked up to see two of the trolls holding Bilbo. You backed up to stand with your dwarf companions, waiting to see what would happen. As you stepped back, your foot caught on a root and you tripped backward to sprawl on the ground, weapons dropping around you as you did so. You saw a pair of feet next to your head, and you looked up to see the angry face of Thorin attached. “Get up!” he hissed, and you scrambled to your feet, trying and failing to look nonchalant as the trolls reached out and grabbed Dori and Dwalin, tying them onto a spit over the fire. You gulped, praying that they wouldn’t try to fit all of you on it at once. 

“Ouch!” you exclaimed as you hit the ground in a sack. A hand quickly clamped over your mouth as you spoke, and, angry you turned your head to see the king-to-be tied in a sack next to you, shushing you. You shook your head and dislodged his hand. “What d’ya think you’re doing?” “If you talk, they might eat us sooner.” “Thorin, they already caught us, I think they’ll eat us whenever they want. Besides, Bilbo’s talking right now!” You listened as he said something about skinning dwarves, causing the pile of them in sacks around you to wiggle and yell.

 Then the realization hit, “Wait. You meant the trolls would eat us faster if specifically, I spoke. You really think I’m that awful that something would eat me just to shut me up.” He wouldn’t meet your eyes. “Well!” you huffed, “apparently you do have a sense of humor, it just decides to show itself at the wrong moments,” and shifted yourself so that you were facing away from him, lying in between him and Balin. 

You wiggled in your sack, trying to reach your boot to grab the knife you knew was tucked in next to your sock. As you did this, you bent at an awkward angle and glimpsed a flash of grey between the trees surrounding the clearing. You noticed Bilbo’s eyes flash with recognition as he saw it as well, and silently encouraged him to keep stalling. Then the pile of dwarves around you erupted with cries of “I don’t have parasites!” and “you have parasites!” Figuring it was a tactic of Bilbo’s you kicked Kili to make him shut up. It seemed like Thorin had had the same idea as well, for Kili glared at both of you before it hit him. “Mine are the biggest parasites!” he quickly corrected himself, catching on. You and Thorin glanced at each other before quickly looking away, embarrassed. 

You went back to fiddling for your knife, until, with a whispered cry of satisfaction, you caught it between your fingers. You brought it up to your chest and began to saw on the rope tying you in the sack, wishing you had a larger, more efficient blade like one of your daggers. Just as you finally cut through the rope, cries came from the trolls, and your eyes lifted to see them quickly turning to stone, Gandalf standing triumphant on a rock behind them. With a sigh of relief, you shrugged the sack off and stood up, stretching. You turned to Balin and began to cut him free, finishing and then making your way through the rest of the dwarves.

“Y/N, how did you get free so quickly?” Kili asked as you sawed on the rope trapping him. “I mean, the second the trolls were stone you were up with a flash!” “I spent most of the time in the sack trying to reach the knife, it was sheer coincidence that I cut the rope at the same time the trolls froze.” “Ahh,” he nodded in understanding. “Well, it’s good to know that had Bilbo and Gandalf not defeated the trolls so cleverly, we would have eventually been freed by you...” His voice faded at the end of his sentence, and his eyes were gazing at something just beyond you with a look of fear in them. 

You stood and turned to see the leader of the company glaring up at you. “What is this about you having the means to free us and not using it?” “I was going to use it, I was just trying to get to it. Also, it’s rather small, it would have taken a while to cut everyone free.” You held up the knife to show it’s size.

“Still, if you had that all along, why did you not cut us all free?” Thorin gestured to your knife as he spoke. “Because I. Could. Not. Reach it!!!! I spent the entire time I was in that sack trying to get to it, and once I did the trolls were stone! There was literally nothing I could have done to help free us, and if there had been I would have done it! In case you didn’t notice, my king, I was also about to be eaten!” 

You stomped off towards the ponies, only to realize that, in fact, the ponies were gone. “So I guess we’re traveling on foot now?” Kili asked. Thorin shot him a glare, and his nephew clammed up and hurried to start walking. As the group set off, you lingered close to the back so that you could hear what Thorin and Dwalin were muttering about. “Don’t blame the lass, Thorin,” you heard Dwalin speaking in low tones to his friend. “She couldn’t have freed us any quicker than Bilbo had.” “Still,” the king replied, “she shouldn’t have just focused on freeing herself. If she’s not going to be able to help the group in situations like that then she is utterly useless.” 

You felt your cheeks growing hot with anger as tears started to fill your eyes. You had always cried when angry, ever since you were little, but it had never presented itself at a more inopportune time. You were about to turn and confront the two dwarves but paused as you heard Dwalin speak again. “Thorin, you couldn’t have done anything else to free us either. Neither could I. It was sheer luck that Bilbo was smart enough to stall for Gandalf. We should not blame Y/N for not being able to do something that none of the rest of us could do either.” With that Dwalin increased his pace and left a bemused and slightly remorseful Thorin behind.

You collapsed onto the ground in the campsite that Nori and Bofur had picked out for the night, spreading your bedroll to claim a spot slightly separate from where you knew the dwarves would soon be squished together. Sure, sleeping farther from the fire did mean you were colder, but it was worth it to be slightly farther from the snoring. 

With a sigh, you slowly drifted off into unconsciousness. You weren’t awake when Thorin, seeing you shivering on the ground and feeling slightly remorseful for his words earlier, picked his way through the campsite of sleeping dwarves to stand over you. He studied you for a moment, hearing the faint chatter of your teeth with cold, and shrugged off his fur coat, draping it over you and tucking it in around your neck, hand lingering on your cheek as he brushed the hair off your face. He smiled as you unconsciously leaned into his touch and snuggled down with his coat covering you.

“Uncle?” Thorin whirled around to see Fili, standing at the edge of the campsite with arms full of firewood. “What are you doing?” “Nothing! I just noticed that the human was cold and figured it would be bad if she froze, that’s all.” “Ok,” Fili clearly did not believe Thorin but was willing to let it go. “If that’s all…” he tossed the wood onto the fire as he said this, making the flames die down and then shoot up fueled by the addition. Thorin bounded across the campsite to grab his nephew by the shoulder. “Listen to me,” he drew Fili close so that he could see his eyes. “If you tell anyone, and I mean anyone, even Kili, of what you just saw, I’ll kick you off this quest so fast, it’ll make your head spin.” “Ok, Uncle.” Fili walked away and settled into his bedroll with a smirk. He eagerly anticipated what you would do when you woke with the king’s coat draped over you the next morning. 

You awoke the next day to the sounds of birds chirping and the sun shining on your face. You sat up and stretched your arms above your head, gazing at the canopy of leaves through which the early morning light filtered through. As you did so you felt something heavy slide down from around your shoulders. It was a fur coat. Figuring it was Fili’s as you’d seen him wearing furs before, you walked over to where the golden-haired dwarf was packing his belongings. “Thank you for this,” you held out the coat for him to take. He smirked as he saw what it was. “That’s not mine, Y/N.” “It’s not?” “No. In fact, I believe it belongs to my uncle over there.” He pointed at Thorin, who was sitting on a log across the clearing sharpening his newly found sword. Shocked at this revelation, you questioned Fili. “He hates me. Why would he give me his coat?” “Maybe you should just go ask him, Y/N.” 

So you walked over to Thorin and held out the coat. “Um, thank you for the coat. Why did you give it to me.” You were surprised to notice a faint blush on his cheeks as he rose. Shrugging the coat on, he spoke, “I noticed you get rather cold at night. I gave you my coat to prevent that, it wouldn’t do for one of my company to be unable to sleep because of something so easily remedied.” You shifted back and forth with a little embarrassment that he would notice. “Well, I appreciated the extra warmth, I certainly slept better than I have been.” 

You turned and walked back to your bedroll to pack it up, trying to hide your sudden happiness. After his words yesterday, you had feared that he hated you, and would never accept you as part of the group. Now, though, you felt a real sense of belonging and acceptance, although you thought you might have felt a little more than that from Thorin. It was probably just your imagination, though. A dwarf would never feel for a human in that way.

Everything tag💞: @entishramblings @itgetsatadhazy @boyruins @anjhope1

Lmk if you want to be added to a taglist for this series, all my writing, or anything else!

[tlbodine]

How to Start a Story

As a follow-up to last night’s post, I wanted to offer a little bit more by way of concrete advice -- because while it can be helpful to hear what not to do (and how to subvert those problems), sometimes you just want someone to give you a concrete plan.

Unfortunately, I can’t tell you how to start your story, because I have no idea what your story is about. But I can give you some tips that will help you figure it out for your specific circumstances. 

*note: I’m using Harry Potter as one example because it’s a thing most people have read, don’t @ me about your JKR hot takes. I use other examples too. 

Step One: Figure out your inciting incident 

What is your story going to be about? What is the main conflict? When you think about the story, what are the characters going to be spending most of their time doing? What’s it about? The inciting incident is going to be the thing that begins doing what the story is about: 

In Harry Potter, the titular character attends a school for wizards. The inciting incident is receiving his invitation to that school. 

In Lord of the Rings, Frodo goes on a journey across Middle Earth to destroy the One Ring. The inciting incident is receiving the ring and learning about its dark history/why it needs to be destroyed. 

In Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Arthur Dent goes on a universe-saving adventure across space. The inciting incident is being whisked off to adventure by a space-traveling acquaintance. 

So figure out what the story is about, or what you’re going to be spending most of that story doing -- going on a quest, fighting a demon, exploring a haunted house, falling in love. 

Figure out the exact moment where that begins. That’s the inciting incident. This is a thing that happens that is a change in circumstance from who the character was before/what they used to do with their life. 

Step Two: What was the character doing immediately before that? 

Since the whole point of the inciting incident is that the character’s life has changed, we need to see what their life was like before that event. What were they doing? 

Harry Potter was living in a cupboard, having unusual magical experiences that enraged his abusive aunt and uncle 

Frodo was living a quiet life in the shadow of his eccentric uncle 

Arthur Dent was trying to have a perfectly normal life (except for the jerks trying to tear down his house) 

You have to spend some time establishing “normal” for the character so that we can appreciate why the inciting incident is an unusual change in their circumstances. Was the hero a farmhand before he went on this quest? Was the demon summoned by accident when five friends read a book they found in a cabin? Did the main character decide to investigate the house after seeing it every day on his paper route? Has the romantic lead been so focused on her career that she hasn’t had time for love? Who are these people, and why is this situation only happening to them right now? 

Step Three: Explain exactly as much as you need to make sense

You don’t have to give the character’s entire backstory (please don’t), but you should be able to show us a decent glimpse of who this person is, what kind of world they’re occupying, and what the rules of the story will be. 

Dramatize this with a scene (or a few scenes) that show some minor conflict, mystery or paradox to incite some mystery and show us what the characters are like. Establish the rules by showing them in action. 

In Harry Potter, we first get a prologue showing Harry’s revered status in the wizarding community, which is juxtaposed with the people who raise him. The conflict between who he is and how he is raised is interesting. 

In Lord of the Rings, we open with a spectacular birthday party celebration that shows off how strange Bilbo is compared to the other hobbits, gives an excuse for the wizard Gandalf to be there, and establishes a baseline for what hobbit life (and Frodo’s life) is like. The party is full of conflict because Bilbo flaunts social norms (even living to the age of 111 is extraordinary!) which drives the narrative in the early parts. 

In Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Arthur wakes up with a hangover to discover that his house is scheduled for demolition without his knowledge, and his day is only going to get worse from there. But in order to understand that, we first have a prologue explaining some of the rules of the universe and what type of story will follow. 

If it helps, instead of thinking about conflict in terms of fighting or arguing or life-or-death situations, think of conflict in terms of contrast.How can you illustrate the contrast between a character’s normal life and the life they’re about to have once this story gets rolling? How can you contrast between the reader’s expectations and the world’s reality? How can you contrast between this character and the other people in their world? 

Your inciting incident should take place about 10-15% of the way into a story. The longer the story will be, the more time you can spend at the beginning getting things set up. The shorter the story, the less time you’ll spend. 

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is 180 pages long. The inciting incident occurs on page 11, when Ford Prefect shows up to invite him to adventure. 

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone is 309 pages long. The inciting incident begins on page 30, when magical letters begin to arrive. 

The Fellowship of the Ring is 410 pages long. The inciting incident occurs somewhere between page 45, where Gandalf starts to explain the history of the ring left in Frodo’s possession, and page 58, where he gets around to explaining that the ring is no longer safe to keep in the Shire. 

*Note: Lord of the Rings is exceptionally slow-paced by the standards of many modern readers, and characters take their sweet time in acting on this information. Even still, that 10% mark is pretty consistent. 

[erosofthepen]

Hello! I had an idea for an imagine that I wanted to get your thoughts on, if that's fine by you. Which Characters from The Hobbit and Lotr do you think would most enjoy dating a Dark Academia-style Writer? So like she dresses in the Dark Academia fashion, reads Classical Literature and her own stories and essays to them while cuddling, excitedly Rants about History and Literature to them, and maybe they even find her journal full of sappy love poems and rambles about how much she loves them? Who do you think would be most down for a s/o like that, if you don't mind me asking. I'd love to get your thoughts on this, and your blog is so spectacular btw!

Oh ho ho, my friend, this is right up my alley. I am obsessed with Dark Academia.

For ‘The Hobbit’:

Bilbo Baggins.

He was literally the first person to pop into my head. He is a perfect mix of cottage core and light academia, and I feel like he would have a lot of love for dark academia as well. When you’d cuddle, you’d both be reading your respective books (or even better, reading the same book with one another, or even even better, reading aloud to one another), and when a particularly deep or meaningful quote or scene happens, you would both discuss it thoroughly. You would both go into rants about history and literature you find interesting, and understand one another perfectly, going into incredible depth about the topics. If he ever found love poems you wrote about him, he would read them with the fondest smile upon his face. Who knows, in a few days, you might even come across a few poems or songs he has written about you.

Bard.

Bard has a lot of respect for history, (I hold firm to the belief that he was one of the very few lake men who really cared about the towns past), and would probably even help teach you some history of Dale and Esgaroth. And if you teach him about our worlds history and mythology, he would be all ears and find it utterly fascinating. He would totally be down to just spending quiet days at the library with you, and would probably read every book you recommend to him (Imagine discussing ‘A Secret History’ with him… that would be quite an interesting conversation). And if he ever came across love rants/poems… this man would get all cute and tell you how much they mean to him. He’s just that kind of person.

Thorin.

This dwarf would be incredibly into Dark Academia. I can just imagine dressing him up in one of those gray waistcoats with the white, long-sleeved undershirt. If he should roll the sleeves up to the elbow… sigh. He could totally dress the part. And he would absolutely love seeing you dressed dark academia style. His color palate is very similar to what is typically dark academia. And get ready for hours of discussing both dwarrow and human history with him. Also, if I may go out on a limb here, there is this headcannon I have about dwarrow museums being carved into old mineshaft used of resources. Thorin would be immensely proud and excited to show you and teach you everything in the museums. Walking down the stone halls and him pointing out various carvings and texts on the walls, your dark academia mind couldn’t be happier. And cuddles with his arm around your shoulders, lying in bed after a long day, ending the night reading. He would occasionally look down at what your reading (possibly asking what’s going on in the plot, depending on if you get annoyed by interruptions or not) and smile to himself. If you read your own work to this dwarf, expect the best feedback possible. He is very thorough with his feedback, and knows how to properly give constructive criticism as well as highlighting the best parts of your work.

Lindir.

This sweet little elf would be beside himself. He loves the libraries in Rivendell, and you sharing and reading stories with him opens up worlds. He would also love the way you dress, and will often ask what has inspired your ‘look’ for the day. He gets excited when you come to him with a new topic to rant about, and will likely contribute some very insightful views on the matter. When you come to him with questions about Middle Earth’s history, he will gladly answer whatever you ask (and probably end up having a history rant of his own. ‘Hey Lindir, what are the Silmarils?’ ‘…how about you sit down, and we’ll chat about it for a few months.’). He would just be the sweetest if he found your love rambles, and would be blushing the entire time reading them. Expect a wonderful thank you and an entire sonnet of his own composed for you.

Ori.

Can’t forget this little scribe. He would be beside himself at finding a fellow reader and writer, and the two of you would have so many reading sessions where you discuss what exactly this word meant in this context, or just ranting sessions where you gush and/or vent about a certain scene or plot development. He would find your outfits absolutely exquisite and probably even help you piece some together. Cuddling with him while reading is honestly the best, because you’ll just be laying side-by-side, surrounded by pillows and blankets (possibly in front of a fireplace in the Great Erebor Library), and just be reading your different books together, content to just read without feeling the need to talk. If you ever read your work to him, he would be beside himself at the level of trust you place in him (being a writer, he knows how daunting sharing your work can be), and he would love whatever you write. Expect him to start sharing his work as well. For the love poems, You’ll probably find his poems/rambles first, tbh. He just loves expressing himself through writing, and expressing his love for you is his favorite thing. You both get all sappy and blushy when you read one another declarations of love.

For ‘Lord of the Rings’:

Frodo Baggins.

Much like his Uncle, Frodo has a healthy appreciation for history and literature. He’d just love pouring over different books with you, and discussing them. His favorite thing to do with you on rainy days is to curl up with a good book and read aloud. Maybe even a walk down the trails and paths with an umbrella as well (Lobelia in the hobbit movies and the end of return of the king has proven there to be umbrella’s in Middle Earth). Hobbits are known for their passion for History, particularly family History, so he’ll definitely go into some rants of his own about the history of the Shire, and will sit and listen to your rants as well.

Elrond.

Lord Elrond is like a living, breathing, history textbook. He would be the absolute best person to discuss historical events and mythology and such. His keenness for knowledge knows no limits. There will definitely be very, very, long conversations about literature and meanings behind what the author writes, and the morals and values of the texts. Honestly, there is just such a depth of understanding between you and Elrond that is incredibly hard to find in others.

Faramir.

This man. This is the man who literally fanboyed over Gandalf and became a pupil to him. He would absolutely be beside himself when he meets you, because another human who is obsessed with learning and history and literature and discussing it and having deep conversations about it??? He would fall hard. And he would always love the way you dress, whether you are wearing a cozy sweater-vest or a dramatic trench coat. The two of you would literally spend hours in Gondor’s libraries, pouring over shelves of scrolls and books, taking notes on them, and maybe with a few older ones, restoring them together. Your favorite thing to do before going to bed is lighting a few candles and reading together. He would especially be fascinated and amazed at anything you have written and willing to share with him. He honestly just loves you so much, and feels so understood when he’s around you. And finding love poems written about him fills him with an indescribable amount of joy.

Aragorn.

When not off doing important Ranger or Kingly duties, Aragorn would just love to spend time reading with you. The kind of quality time where neither person needs to say anything, because the simple presence of the person is enough. He’s very into History, and I can totally see him ranting to you about the story of Beren and Luthien (perhaps the rest of the Silmarillion if he has the time), and would love to hear about your stories and books from our world. He’s the kind of person who prefers to dress practical, but that doesn’t stop him from complimenting your outfits and thinking how great you look every time you walk into the room. He loves the aesthetic of it. And should he ever stumble across a poem about him, he will probably keep it to himself, but memorize every word and repeat it to himself while traveling.

So I may have gotten just a tad bit carried away with this, but it was so much fun doing! Thank you for this ask! I hope this is what you were looking for. Now, i’m going to make myself a cup of tea and go to bed.

[elles-writing]

When the worlds collide - part III.

gif not mine

A/N: Hello guys, I hope you enjoyed second part!! I was tired yesterday, so I quickly typed the author’s note and other stuff and then fell asleep in my hoodie how tired I was. Today’s Friday, so my first four days of school are over!! They were good and in Monday my school’s ending earlier, which is also great. I’m also sorry for Kili being quite out of character, but I promise, he’s gonna be back in character in other parts, so don’t worry!

I’m pretty proud of how I’m writting Gandalf here, though. I think he reacts how he would react.

In the next part is going to be a fan art for this series, I personally really enjoy drawing, even though I still can’t draw the way I’d like to and I’m still trying to figure out how to draw characters and people in general, but I’ll try, cuz I wanted to do it for a while, so now I’m actually gonna do it!

Also, I wanted to post this part a few hours ago, but we had to go to the forest to work here and I couldn’t find the gif I wanted for this part, but I FINALLY found it!!

Again, feedback is highly appreciated!!

Warnings: Kili probably being OOC, Fili teasing his brother, mentions of torture towards Bilbo, cheeky reader towards angry Dwalin

masterlist    part one    part two

Tags: @moony-artnstuff​

Your pov

You’ve been in the living room, working on preparing yourself for questions about TV, movies and all this stuff, when you’ve heard some laugh from the kitchen. You tip-toed here and tried to overhear what they were talking about.

„Shut it, just shut up, Fili, she’ll hear-“ You’ve heard Kili’s voice, full of emotions, but mostly worry and a bit of fear.

„What is that about, lads?“ Dwalin’s voice said and you shivered.

„Well, our dear little Kili has got a-“ he whispered something you didn’t understood and your mind wondered to that moment with parasites. Almost all of them bursted out laughing. You’ve decided to step in. They could talk about it later, you needed them to understand you truly wanted to help them. You stepped into the doors.

„I-I think I can show you what I meant,“ You said, a bit unsure. All of them looked over to you and you sighed.

„Follow me.“

You took out some blankets, so they could either fold it and sit on it, or to create a cocoon from it, earlier and prepared it on the ground and couch for them.

The reactions were...quite different from what you’ve been hoping for.

Kili and Fili immediatelly took their places on the counch and took a blanket each. Thranduil glared at them and sat on the other side of the couch, Legolas sat down on the ground to him, pulling the blanket over his long legs. Dwalin snorted and turned to Gandalf, angrily muttering something.

„We’re not here to play hide and seek or any childish games, Gandalf.“ You frowned and folded your hands.

„I’m sorry to interrupt, Master Dwarf, but you’ll get your explanation – or at least part of it – once you sit down,“ You said and he turned around. All of your courage dissappeared into thin air.

Only Fili and Kili were laughing when they’ve seen that scene.

You shot them a glare and went to turn on the TV.

„I am begging you, behave please. This is only for watching. It’s playing a movie, which is something like a record of...something and you can watch it again. You cannot step into it, change the action, and so on. You can comment it, though.“

You sat down between Fili and Kili on the couch. Next to Kili was seated Bard, then Thranduil, next to Fili was Balin, Bilbo and Gandalf. Others rather sat down on the ground.

You turned on the movie and wiggled in your cocoon from the blanket. You felt the warmth of their bodies and you happily sighed. It was way too comfortable here. There was no way for you getting out of here anymore.

When the logo came up, both Fili and Kili started asking.

„Where does the music is coming from?“

„What is it?“

„What does it means?“

You aswered their questions, but decided to skip the part with old Bilbo. You didn’t knew how would you explained that.

When a ‚Good morning‘ scene was there, Bilbo’s jaw dropped. He madly blushed.

„I-what-how did they done that?!“ His whisper-yell voice and wide eyes he setted upon you made you laugh.

„They did pretty good job I suppose,“ You noticed Kili to stiffen and turned your attention back to the movie. There was almost dinning scene already, Bilbo in the movie sitting by his table, ready to eat. You were eyeing him now, the tortue and how his face flinched when there was the bell-ringing sound.

You’ve been scrunched between Kili and Fili and your eyes suddenly felt quite heavy. You yawned and closed them for a second.

Third person view

Kili didn’t noticed, when did you fell aspeep, but a weird feeling was creeping through his whole body. He turned to Fili and opened his mouth, only to notice your head was lying on his shoulder and your hands hugging his arm. He closed his mouth and opened it again in wonder and blushed madly, even more than when you sat between him and Fili.

Fili looked over to his brother and noticed Y/N being asleep and hugging Kili’s arm. He chuckled.

„I guess you don’t have to be jealous because of Master Baggins anymore.“ Kili looked at your sleeping form and whispered.

„I-I don’t think she likes me in that way. I don’t even have a proper beard, Mahal.“

„But she’s cuddling you, isn’t she?“ Fili rose his eyebrow and Kili furrowed his, not sure of where his brother was going with it.

„Just sayin‘ she could’ve been cuddling with me.“ Fili said as if it wouldn’t be a big deal, but Kili’s mouth opened and he frowned at his brother. Fili almost rolled his eyes.

„Don’t tell me that you, of all dwarves, through all that confident flirting of yours, cannot squeeze out a word around her.“ Kili’s averted gaze to the floor and red cheeks and ears were enough for Fili to know.

His younger brother was hopelessly in love with that kind woman whom decided to help them to find a way home.

He looked at your peaceful expression. I wouldn’t mind her as my sister-in-law, he thought to himself and let his brother enjoy his moment.

[the-great-middle-earth-read]

Chapter Seven: Queer Lodgings

• I just first want to make note again of the title of this chapter. We once again see the use of the weird queer and it heralds the beginning of the whole chapter. In this case it means to point out the strangeness of Beorn’s home and it’s a place that Bilbo finds himself enjoying. Set in the Wild the house offers all the comfort of home but with an edge - meals are served by animals, the borders are protected by bears and even the bees are the size of a human thumb. It’s a safe place of rest but allows all the wonder and danger of the wider world to colour and shape it. The word queer is used later in the chapter too, to describe Beorn’s ability to talk to his animals, Gandalf’s smoke rings - something wonderous that might have seemed odd to an outsider - and Mirkwood which is described as where “the wind things are dark, queer, and savage.” Again, the word is used to describe wild and wonderous things that don’t belong within the neat and structured borders of the Shire.

• This point more has to do with the movies but something I picked up on while reading this chapter was that while why were traveling to Beorn’s house Bilbo is so hungry he thinks that he “would have eaten acorns, if any had been ripe enough”. I’m guessing that might have been where Peter Jackson and co found the inspiration for the acorn scene in BotFA.

• Thorin tells Bilbo not to worry about the forest and that they’ll soon wish that their packs were heavier and I think this might be the first time we get of a dwarf chatting with Bilbo outside of necessity. Earlier in the chapter Bofur informs Bilbo that breakfast is almost over but that could still be excused as necessity. This is our first sign that the dwarfs are talking with Bilbo and it’s important that Thorin was, if not the first, than one of the first to do so. It’s important because Thorin is the leader but also because he was so mocking towards Bilbo early on. It really shows how far they have come in terms of their opinions on one another.

• Gandalf assumes that Bilbo wants to back out but we receive more proof that Bilbo is committed to the quest when he argues, saying he only wondered if there was a safer way around the forest.

• Gandalf says that he needs Bilbo to “look after these dwarves for me”. He says it while laughing, clearly making light of it but it’s a thought to keep in mind.

Other things to note:

Gandalf calls Radagast his cousin

We get a mention of the Necromancer - not nearly as well kept a secret as it appeared to be in the films

[anneangel]

In my country the book The Hobbit was approved to be used in schools in a didactic way. Think of my surprise when a mother asked me if it was really suitable, as the book's protagonist – Bilbo Baggins – is a thief.

I had to argue.

The first time that Bilbo actually decides to act according to the designation he was given is in the scene with the Trolls. Here we see that our Baggins, once a highly respected Hobbit and not a thief at all, decides to steal one of the Trolls (Yes, it's different from the movie where Bilbo is assigned to "rescue the ponies"). In the book, upon seeing an unknown source of light, Thorin advises Bilbo to sneak up there and check what it is, as he is the quietest. Bilbo must go, and return safely and silently to tell what he has seen, that is all.

This scene shows us three things about our protagonist's personality:

1- He is brave; even though the Trolls are bigger and frightening, our protagonist doesn't seem to fear them. He's a Baggins, but right now it feels like something Tuk is coursing through his veins and making him run to danger like a moth to light.

2- he is reckless, see how he decides to stick himself in the middle of the Trolls just to steal them, when in reality it is irrelevant and potentially he was at risk of getting hurt or harming his entire group. He is deliberately avoiding the focus of his mission, which was only to verify the source of the light and return.

3- he has a great need to be accepted. Bilbo realizes that he doesn't fit in and isn't well regarded in the dwarf group. He is desperate for approval and acceptance, to the point where he thinks he must steal them to impress Thorin's company.

But remember that Bilbo failed and got caught, he didn't get what he wanted. And he put all of his employers at risk of imminent death. And to make matters worse, if it weren't for Gandalf they would really have died (remember that in the book it's the wizard who tricks the Trolls from the beginning, not Bilbo as in the movie).

The whole situation makes the group ponder Bilbo's relevance in the group, basically he wasn't able to follow a simple order. It is clear that he is worth very little to the group, and only knows how to complain that he is homesick, and he needs to be carried. Of course he is seen as a nuisance.

The Second Time: that Bilbo steals something is the One Ring. But let's consider one thing, Bilbo FOUNDS the lost ring on the floor (and unlike what the movie suggests, he DIDN'T SEE who lost it).

Bilbo was lost in the Goblins/orks tunnel when groping around the place, which was very dark and he couldn't see anything at all, when he found the ring. He puts it in his pocket, not giving much thought, and moves on.

During the riddles game Bilbo doesn't even remember the object, and his question “what's in my pocket?” it was a rhetorical question of his to himself, for he had put his hand in his pocket and did not remember what he had put there. However, fearing Gollum's menacing figure and not being able to think straight through guesses, he keeps the question as if it were a riddle as the creature believed the question was directed at it. When the game ends we are informed by the narrator that the creature had no intention of taking Bilbo out from there, and intended to kill him, Gollum despairs when he does not find the One Ring and soon realizes that Bilbo has his "precious" in his pocket, given the riddles game question. It is up to Bilbo then just to run for his life, when the creature leaves in revolt towards him.

In this version, Bilbo does not steal Gollum. He finds a lost item, and when he finds out who "owns" it, Gollum is trying to kill him. There is no room for him to return the item, there is only the option for him to flee for his life. And yet, Bilbo saves Gollum, when he has the chance to kill the creature.

*remembering that this is the version of what “really happened”. After all, in the first edition of The Hobbit, at the end of the riddle game Gollum did intend to “gift” the magic ring to Bilbo, but the ring was already with Bilbo. Then Gollum is very upset, and Bilbo convinces him to take him out as compensation (says this even though he knows he has the ring in his pocket). Note that in this version he is much more sneaky, here he had the option to return the item without any reprisals, but he doesn't. However, this version is presented by Tolkien as "the lie that Bilbo told", as the author realized that it would make no sense for Gollum to give the One Ring to Bilbo as if it were nothing, he had to edit it to fit with LotR, transforming this first version " in what Bilbo told.” 

Note that the lie that Bilbo tells managed to be even worse than the truth (And Tolkien uses this in LotR to say that the ring was corrupting him since before he was not that "liar" and given that the lie is more disgusting than the truth).

The third time: Bilbo steals something is at Thranduil's house. But remember that the dwarves are trapped and the poor Hobbit is tasked by Thorin to find a way out. We are told that while there, Bilbo ate the food of the Elves, stealing from them. But remember that at the end of the book our Hobbit gives a chest of white gems to the Elven king as compensation. I wouldn't call it theft then, Bilbo used (eat) a thing and paid for it.

The fourth time: Bilbo steals the dragon's treasure. But wait, does he really do that? Whoever is a thief is Smaug who has usurped the treasure, Bilbo is just getting the treasure back to its true owners: The dwarves. So when the hobbit takes something from Smaug, it's not theft.

The fifth time: that Bilbo steals something is the Arken Stone. Yes, indeed he steals it from Thorin in the book (The film suggests that the little Hobbit did not give the stone in fear of Thorin's madness), but in the book Bilbo was actually attracted to the thing.

He hides it and lies about it, the mountain gold really enchants him. However, our Bilbo remembers to keep his feet on the ground (not just because he's a Hobbit, but because he still has common sense). He is the first to be enchanted by the treasure, and the first to realize that it is nothing, and that he would give it all up for his hole in the ground.

He only doesn't give the stone to Thorin because he comes to think it would be an excellent bargain when the mountain is besieged. The dwarves will starve, and the Elves and Humans from the cold, if they continued to fight over the mountain's booty. (This is what bilbo supposed, before the army of Dáin arrived. The mountain had no food, and winter was coming so the elves and humans would be cold in outside, in the short term everyone would be suffering in some way if Thorin insisted this. And there was still the concrete possibility of armed conflict and a war).

Bilbo thought it would be a good idea to use the stone as a hostage, as Thorin couldn't see the reason.

It was a bad idea, as it wouldn't work out in the long run, as even if Thorin accepted the bargain and paid what was promised to each party, he would hold a grudge and later such grudge could turn into strife and war in the future already that the kingdoms were very close together. Bilbo didn't think straight, he was wrong; but he got it wrong trying to get it right, and to me that's justification enough to forgive him.

Also, Bilbo has a very clever argument that might even suggest that he DIDN'T STEAL Thorin. Let's see, he says that the contract guarantees him the fourteenth part of the treasure, and Thorin did not stipulate that there was something there that the hobbit could not have. Bilbo then claims that he took the stone as his share of the reward, and gave it to the Elves and Humans. If he took the stone as his part, he could use it as he saw fit, right?

Of course he knew that Thorin loved that thing, and probably wouldn't give it to anyone, but in fact there was nothing in the contract legally written that would suggest that Bilbo couldn't have it as his fourteenth part.

Even Bilbo doesn't believe are doing something wrong, he don't even believe he are cheating or stealing Thorin, so much so that our hobbit returns to the mountain. Bilbo did not believe that his act would be so badly received and that Thorin would threaten his life almost throwing him from the gate. Bilbo did not value the stone, and did not consider that stone was worth more than his life, for Thorin.

The sixth time: Bilbo takes the Trolls' treasure for himself on the return journey. Personally, I wouldn't call it stealing since the Trolls had been stone for a long time, and anyway it was Gandalf who insisted that our little Hobbit keep the treasure, as he had brought almost nothing from the mountain.

In short, I would hardly call Bilbo a thief. There are many virtues we can learn from him throughout the book, but theft is not one of them. Let your child read the Hobbit, there is nothing wrong with the book.

[introvertguide]

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001); AFI #50

The current movie for review from the AFI top 100 is the most recent of the films, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001). This was the introduction of director Peter Jackson to much of the mainstream American audience despite him having a 20 year history of film making in New Zealand. The film is beautiful in so many aspects, from the special effects to the cinematography to the sets creating the world of Middle Earth. The film received 12 nominations at the Academy Awards and received 4 of them, a feat unheard of for an epic fantasy film. This is also the only “incomplete” film on the AFI list because there are no other “too be continued” stories. There are some films that are first and second parts (specifically The Godfather 1 and 2), but this is the only one that intentionally stopped with intent for the story to pick in the next film. With that being said, the sheer number of characters and the intended incomplete nature of the film makes it almost impossible to summarize without just going scene by scene. There are 100 movies on this list and I am not going to set any precedence that I will be doing that, so here is a very brief synopsis of what happens in this film without diving into too much of the lore concerning the rest of the trilogy or The Hobbit:

SPOILER WARNING!! I DON’T KNOW WHY IT IS NECESSARY ON THIS ONE, BUT I DO IT EVERY TIME AND I WANT TO BE CONSISTANT!! IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS BY NOW OR ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH THE STORY, THEN YOU ARE LIKELY VERY YOUNG, LIVE UNDER A ROCK, OR PURPOSEFULLY AVOIDING IT!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED SO I DON’T WANT TO GET ANY NOTES ON THIS ONE!!!

So here is the general outline, there was an evil guy named Sauron that gave out rings of power to the Elves, Dwarves, and Humans in a realm called Middle Earth. This land is a fantasy realm that has a mix of Dark Age castles mixed with monsters and human like races. It looks strangely like New Zealand through a lot of the country side. Coincidence I am sure. Anyway, Sauron tricked the different races because he kept for himself one ring to rule them all and bind the ones wearing the rings to him. This did not go over well so the humans, elves, and dwarves rose up and fought Sauron and his armies and were able to get the master ring during battle. There was a chance for them to destroy the ring but human corruption prevented this and the ring was eventually lost. It eventually ended up in the hands of a man that kept it close and allowed it to suck away his life until it was stolen by a small human-like creature named Bilbo Baggins. The ring was taken on many adventures (see The Hobbit films for this story) and it gave this little hobbit prolonged life, but it also became an addictive burden. Bilbo decided to go off and leave the ring for his nephew and this is where the story begins. I know, it’s a lot.

A wizard named Gandalf (Ian McKellen) comes to the hobbit village as Bilbo is leaving and makes sure the ring is left in the hands of the nephew Frodo (Elijah Wood). The wizard confirms the ring is the one that rules them all and reveals that Sauron is regaining power and wants the ring. For the safety of the shire, Frodo must take the ring to Rivendell, home of the Elves, to figure out what must be done. Gandalf has to take care of some business so some other hobbits - Sam (Sean Astin), Merry (Dominic Monaghan), and Pippin (Billy Boyd)  - get wrangled into the journey and the group of four go off to a local human town to meet Gandalf and continue forward. This short trip proves treacherous as the 9 humans that were given rings of power had been corrupted and turned into Nazgul that are attempting to track down the little group of hobbits. Gandalf does not show up, but the group run into a ranger named Strider at the human tavern and he helps fight off the ring wraiths. With the help of his elf girlfriend, Arwen, the group are able to make it to Rivendell where they are presumably safe for the time being.

A meeting is held at Rivendell and representatives of the different races all show up to decide what must be done. The ring must be destroyed so a fellowship to transfer the ring to Mount Doom is formed. It is made up of the four hobbits, Gandalf the wizard, an elf named Legolas (Orlando Bloom), Strider the Ranger who is actually a human king named Aragorn (Viggo Mortenson), a dwarf named Gimli (John Rhys-Davies), and another human named Boromir (Sean Bean). I have seen enough movies with Sean Bean as a side character to know that he is for sure going to die. It is only a matter of when.

So the group heads off toward Mount Doom and initially start by taking a path through snowy mountains but have to turn back and instead decide to go under the mountains. The dwarf is excited because he can visit his cousin who is king under the mountain. Alas, all they find is skeletons and an evil race created by Sauron called orcs. This race also seems to have other evil creatures enslaved including a cave troll. The Fellowship is chased through the bowels of the mountain until the orcs suddenly back off and the group finds something even worse, an ancient evil called a Balrog. Gandalf takes on the creature at a stone bridge and screams the now memed words “You shall not pass!” The Balrog falls into a pit but drags Gandalf down as well, reducing the number in the group by one wizard.

The group mourns the loss very briefly (and dramatically) before traveling to an elven forest where Frodo is told by a queen that he will have to take on the quest alone and that one of the fellowship will betray him. They continue on and it turns out that a wizard named Saruman that was corrupted by Sauron (confusingly close in name, I know), has created super buff orcs called Uruk-hai (pronounced “Orick Eye” all blended together) to hunt down the party. Boromir tries to take the ring from Frodo but immediately makes up for it by sacrificing himself to protect the hobbits from the super orcs. Sean Bean was kind of a bad guy and was killed. What a surprise. That actor really needs to find different roles or he is going to spend his entire career being type cast. 

Anyway, Frodo and Sam break away from the group to go off on their own, the other two hobbits are captured and taken by the orcs, and then Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli decide to track everybody down. To be continued.

This probably seems like quite a short synopsis for a 3 hour movie...but legitimately the movie is a visual spectacle in which not a lot happens. Most of the movie is traveling, fighting, introducing the lore of the world, and introducing characters. Not a whole lot of plot progression in this particular movie, but it sets the stage for the second film to be nothing but battle and progression (an hour long battle of Helm’s Deep which is amazing), while the last one is nothing but battles and resolution of every story line. It is an incredible trilogy and this is only the beginning and it had audiences drooling for more.

In fact, Peter Jackson films set the standard for special effects for the early 21st century. His team took home the Oscar for best visual effects in 2001 for Fellowship of the Ring, in 2002 for The Two Towers, in 2003 for The Return of the King, and in 2005 for King Kong. No film series with consecutive releases has done this except Lord of the Rings (not even with Star Wars, Marvel, and DC universe films coming out constantly).  The series really is something special. Attempts had been made to tell the trilogy as an animated movie, but no drawings could do the world justice. It took advanced computer graphics, motion capture technology, an expansive New Zealand countryside, a quirky director that had envisioned this world his whole life, and a dedicated cast and crew that was fully committed to the project. It is an amazing piece of filming.

If I have any complaints, it is that there is some really corny drama. The amount of times that Elijah Wood overacts in pain or despair is more digits than I have. Especially when the group is mourning the loss of Gandalf...it is kind of embarrassing. It is that “inconsolable parent who lost a child” acting with scream crying and shouts of “Noooooo!” It is all the hobbits, too, which doesn’t help that they are the size of children and are having a despair tantrum. Luckily they keep going and that is a one minute scene, but still it is embarrassing. Also, Frodo is stabbed and presumed dead twice. I can see why there were no nominations for best actor because it was not the best acting.

It is all made up for by the incredible battles. For me, it is the chase under the mountain with the orcs and the cave troll and the balrog. That is about 30 minutes of constant fight or flight that left me short of breath. I realized I kept forgetting to breath I was so mesmerized by the constant intensity. There is also a good amount of comedy since the hobbits are generally peaceful farmers and they don’t know how to (or want to) have adventures and keep messing things up. Pippin and Merry keep touching things that they shouldn’t and it brings all kinds of trouble. I think it is one of them that knocks some armor into a well that catches the attention of the orcs under the mountain.

Two specific scenes that I found memorable in that they are burned into my brain forever were the Nazgul fight and the appearance of the cave troll. The Nazgul are absolutely terrifying in that they have no face and have only one intent: kill whatever they are hunting. A good comparison would be to Dementors in the Harry Potter universe. The Nazgul are like Dementors with swords and armor. What is worse, Frodo can use the one ring to make him invisible, but it puts a target on him for the Nazgul and they come straight for him. They idea that you can’t hide from this evil and attempting to will make you stand out more is kind of horrific. I found the Nazgul truly disturbing. The cave troll is just awesome and huge. At no point was I worried for the team on this occasion because the wizard, elf, dwarf, and humans seemed undefeatable. It was more of curiosity about how they were going to handle this challenge. The detail of filming all the actors and sets so they were affected by the troll made the huge beast and the threat it posed in an enclosed space seamless. 

There was some question why this movie was on the AFI list and the other movies in the trilogy were not, especially with the third film winning 10 Oscars including best picture. It is because this was the watershed film that made the others possible. I got to see the film in the theatre and it was an experience like no other. I cannot think of a movie that had created such a complete fantasy world like LOTR and it made for a truly cinematic experience. I generally do not like movie theatres because people around me whom I have no control over can affect my experience and I am not normally willing to pay for that. However, the theatre I was in had tiered level seating that was graded enough so that nobody blocked my view and ample leg room that also prevented kicking from behind. It was a thing of beauty and I went and saw the other two films in the theatre as well. It was amazing.

So does this film deserve to be on the AFI 100? My goodness, I would think less of the AFI if it wasn’t. It changed audience expectations of what a movie could be and set the tone for the new millennium as far a big budget cinema. Would I recommend it? Please, I own it. If you come by my place and you haven’t seen it, then I will be happy to put aside 3 hours and watch it again with you. It is the easiest epic film to get through, in my opinion, and I don’t think you will be sorry to give up the time. Just a fantastic movie.

[centuryofdean]

When Lightning Strikes - Chapter 15

Author Disclaimer:: The Hobbit, Middle Earth and its characters are not mine. I take no credit. The story line and even some dialogue–also not mine. Instead I claim my Original Character Laurel and the adjustments to the story line.

Summary:: From when Laurel Took was small she dreamed of a man. Every time she dreamed of him, he could not see or hear her. Over time they are able to communicate–but he’s been dreaming about her too. Finally after years of anticipation Laurel takes the leap and kisses him. Only for her to wake up and dread the real world. Then lightning strikes and she finds herself in a familiar place, with a familiar face.

Rated:: M for Mature. Please do not read this story unless you are 18+ At this point in the story there isn’t much, but later on the M rating will come into effect.

Warnings:: Language, Violence and Scenes of Sexual Nature. Smutty Chapter Here!

Pairing:: Kili x OC (Laurel)

Laurel

Once we finally got back into the water, Kili couldn't keep his hands off of me. Everything was surreal, like a very lucid dream. Something possessed me to act the last hour. Never in my life had I thought I would be in the woods fooling around with a man; or dwarf in this case. Especially Kili.

It didn't help that when I saw him wet and half naked I immediately clenched my thighs.

Throughout the days I had been here, there were times that I would find myself starring at him. It was just wrong to be that handsome. It should be an act against God to approach me the way he did; dripping wet, light curls on his chest and trailing down to the unknown. Then he hugged me, and I could feel him hot and hard but still soft against my stomach.

Since I didn't have experience dating and I worked and hunted, I read a lot to keep my mind off of my dreams. Through reading I did find what romance should be, how your face should heat and legs tremble at the sight of something truly sexy. I found things I would have never thought possible in the act of sex or fooling around. Not having any friends of my own to gossip with I did a lot of internet reading, and after a few dreams at sixteen of Kili shirtless doing odds and ends; I started touching myself in the mornings.

What transpired just now was nothing like what I normally experienced. I didn't know there was that big finale that made me quiver and scream with ecstasy.

I didn't want to accept a courting braid, I didn't want to define anything between us in fear he did die. The look of hurt that crossed his face had me wanting to do anything to make him feel better.

And to hug me close so I could feel his skin against my own and ignite the fire within me.

Kili and I ended up washing each other, and I had to slap his hands away when the touches turned into burning caresses that wanted to lead to more. When we left the water I tried my hardest not to hide myself when I could feel his leering gaze on my ass. Wrapped in my towel, I sat in the soft grass and waited for Kili to meet me. It was surprising how effortless it was for him to comb his fingers through my hair and twist a braid just under my hairline behind my ear. It was a very intricate braid, but easily hidden beneath all my hair. He used the bead that he had put in it in Rivendell, then placed another braid in the top half of my hair, clasping it with the bead in his own hair.

"There," he murmured pressing a kiss to my shoulder, the act very sincere and loving. "It is there for anyone to see if they shall look. I would have made it bigger, but I did not want uncle to anger. He is coming to terms, so I do not want to push him."

"Do I put one in your hair," I asked, reaching into his dark brown locks and fingering the softness. It was still slick with water.

"No. You just proudly wear that. Do not unbraid it, it would signify that you are revoking the courtship. I should be the only one to remove it, only to re-braid it."

Once we dressed—I had to fight Kili playfully as he tried to undress me—we returned to the house. The company had already eaten, but they saved Kili and I food. We ate together by the rest of the dwarves who were settled into the hay.

"Where were you two off too," Fili asked quirking an eyebrow.

Immediately my face turned red thinking about the sexual acts I had just shared with his brother a while ago. Quickly I buried my face into my chest letting my hair hide me.

Kili cleared his throat, "Taking a walk. Talking."

I chanced a glance at Fili to see he was glaring at his brother with a look of suspicion.

After a while everyone started to settle, resting so that we could rise and leave for Mirkwood in the morning.

We were woke a handful at a time, each gathering our packs and weapons. Outside Beorn had ponies waiting for us. There were not enough for each, so most of us doubled up. One horse waited for Gandalf. Kili and I settled our things onto the pony, jumping onto the animal and preparing for departure.

"If you trot, you should reach Mirkwood by midday," Beorn offered, "at the wood line, please leave my ponies. Follow the elvish path and it should be mostly safe. Beware the elves of the wood, they do not act the same as their foreign kin of Rivendell."

True to Beorn's word, we reached the darker forest by midday. It didn't take long for us to get off our ponies and gear up. Gandalf did not get off his horse at all.

"I have very pressing matters to attend to," he grunted, "I will meet you at the Lonely Mountain. Do not stray from the elvish path. There is a sickness in these woods and you will never leave, seeing things that are not true for the rest of your life. Do not enter that mountain without me Thorin Oakenshield and company."

With the warnings he left at a full gallop, leaving me with unease. The wood was sick? Was it something in the air? None the less I followed the rest, hand on my sword, as we entered the dark forest. It was simple enough, a stone path was made of squares showing which way to go. There wasn't any forks or three ways to worry about. Sometimes we had to halt while the path was cleared because it seemed to have ended.

The day wore on, nighttime starting to come to us. Thorin declared we would travel for as long as it took until we got out of the woods. It was dark and eerie in there so I understood his concern. The trees were gnarled in places and the air was thick. It wasn't unbearable but uncomfortable.

Slowly I started to see the sickness Gandalf spoke of. Not in myself, but the dwarves.

Bofur started to spout nonsense about the firelights sparkling before his eyes. Dori, Nori, and Ori were pushing each other back and forth about getting the last dinner roll. Bilbo was looking around as if he were hearing noises, and stopped before Dwalin, poking him in the chest and squinting deeply.

The leader of the group, Balin at the time, just kept dragging his feet and walking, not stopping to see if we were following them. A terrible feeling pitted itself in my stomach, as if we were being watched. Idly I grabbed for my smaller pocket knife and stuck it in between the bare skin of my bottom and underwear. Something was telling me I needed to hide it.

Suddenly Kili rounded on me, ripping my bow off my shoulders and grabbing me by the thighs to push me up against a tree. Fear didn't fill me as it should have, but confusion.

His lips crashed against my own in recklessness. A hiss left me when he accidentally pinched my lip against my teeth with his own. "Kili," I hissed, "what are you doing? Everyone is in front of us! We are trying to get out of here!"

"Mmm what are you talking about little doe," his voice dripped something fierce. "'Tis our wedding night, I am consummating our marriage."

My heart started to thump wildly against my chest. The sickness took him as well. He was hallucinating. I tried my hardest to push against his chest, beating it for a moment to gain his attention. "No it isn't. We are in Mirkwood, it is the sickness," I hissed trying to get him to see reason.

A gasp left me when his lips started to dance against my throat and neck. I came to find out over the last three or four encounters that my neck and throat were my favorite spots. Soft gasps of appreciation turned to deep moans when his teeth sunk into my skin, harsh and passionate. My back scrapped the harsh bark of the wood as he pushed me up so that he could push himself between my legs. Even through his thick trousers I could feel him hot and hard grinding against me. It was a wonderful friction I craved for, but seeing everyone standing around us had me cringing.

Even if they weren't paying attention, I didn't want to have moments like this in front of them.

"Stop," I beat against his back, "seriously Kili we can't do this right now!"

A growl rumbled against my collarbone where he bit me harshly again, this time pain finding me instead of pleasure. My breast was grasped harshly, another hand ripping at my shirt since I was pinned to the tree. Once my shirt was in pieces below me I started to thrash and beat on him more. Deep down I feared that he wouldn't stop. Not that I didn't want to experience wonderful sensations with him, but my first time would not be in front of the company, and him not in his right mind.

Everything happened at once.

Someone hit Kili in the back of the head, he grunted, dropping me. All around us elves were disarming and pushing other members of the company into small groups and aiming weapons at them. The elf that hit Kili in the back of the head was taller than him by a margin, white blonde hair braided down the side of his head above his pointed ears. Armed with a bow and a sword at his side, he pointed the end of his bow at Kili's throat.

"I do believe she said stop," he hissed at Kili. I was stunned, watching from the ground in just my bra and pants. Hesitantly I grabbed for my dagger, prepared to do something. Another elf smacked my hand with the end of her bow, causing me to drop my weapon.

A quick intake of breath met both of us when our eyes met. If anything I thought I could be looking at my sister, if I had one. Our hair was very similar in color, eyes the same shade of green. Her skin was paler than mine, but our faces sort of resembled. At that moment the elf that disarmed Kili gazed at me as well, his eyes widening. The female elf that smacked me looked at Kili, eyes widening as well, "Kili?"

She knew Kili? Immediately I felt the green eyed monster called jealousy rear its ugly head. Kili was attracted to elves; of course she knew Kili. My mood turned sour instead of scared at the prospect of being captured.

Slowly the gang of elves were searching all the dwarves for weapons. I could see the clarity in their eyes as they realized what was happening, that they were breaking the hold on the sickness that the forest had in the air. "Laurel," Kili's voice broke the air, his head snapping around frantically looking for me. I was already tied up and sitting on the ground.

"Calm down," I muttered, "I'm over here. No harm."

One elf was searching Fili for weapons, and I had to fight my smile as he pulled out sword after sword from a smirking dwarf. By my count twelve were already discovered. It was like a game to him. The elf that hit Kili was tying him up as well, grunting and muttering things about 'filthy dwarves'. Once everyone was tied up, we were being marched through the woods. After a while, familiarity took over.

It looked just the same as it did the first time I met Kili and was able to talk to him. I tried to focus on the problem at hand, though my mind kept traveling to all the things I had seen and heard in the past few hours. One is that Kili thought we were married and was trying to force himself onto me. Two was that the female elf knew him in evidently a personal way. Three was that I knew the brothers had daggers that weren't accounted for in their trousers. Finally I noticed that Bilbo was missing. My gut told me he wasn't gone, but merely using that odd ring to follow in the shadows.

We were led to a fortress, a very beautiful one. The walk was long but we found ourselves in cells and locked up, one or two of us each to a cell. The elf that got Kili off of me regarded me with a look of unease as he tossed a blanket at me before locking me in. Did he feel sorry for me? It was cold in their dungeons, so I wrapped myself up and shivered, thankful for the extra warmth.

Kili was thrown in the cell across from me by the female. I watched intently as he glared at her through the open door she had yet to close. "Nice to see you again Kili," she almost purred, "I better check for weapons."

A sneer found his face as he backed away, "I was already searched by Legolas. Shut the door, leave me be Tauriel."

More soft words were exchanged from Tauriel before she threw me a look over her shoulder, a questioning look. Once all the elves disappeared I slumped against the wall behind me in the small cell.

"She looks an awful lot like me," I muttered loud enough for Kili to hear. "And she is awful friendly with you."

"Nothing happened between us," he responded disdainfully.

Overtime I started to tune out the mutterings from the rest of the company. Kili fell silent after I didn't respond to his questions about my lack of shirt. Eventually my eyes closed and sleep found me.

The clang of metal woke me, my cell door opening. Legolas, as Kili called him, was offering me his hand. Was that sorrow in his eyes? Without taking it I rose, following him as he led me out of the cell and down the various walking paths. Tauriel was leading Thorin ahead of us. Eventually we reached a formal looking area that was surrounded in elves in armor. At the back of the suspended room was a beautiful throne of white wood and antlers. Seated in it another elf of intricate robes, sitting on white blonde hair like Legolas' was a reddish leaf crown, and he looked pissed off.

"Some may imagine that a noble quest is at hand. A quest to reclaim a homeland and slay a dragon. I myself suspect a more prosaic motive; attempted burglary, or something of that ilk. There are starlight gems inside that mountain I would like to reclaim myself," the king's commanding voice echoed across the hall. His eyes flittered to me, causing me to shiver and pulling the blanket around myself more. With a point of his chin, the blanket was ripped from me.

He rose, taking purposeful steps to walk around me and assess, "Now you have a…halfing elf in your presence? Tell me girl, what is your heritage?"

It took me a moment to clear my throat, it was so dry. "My name is Laurel Took," I coughed softly, "Evidently I am equally hobbit and elvish, and human."

"How did you come to the company of dwarves?"

Before I answered I glanced at Thorin, watching as his eyes turned to slits. "We found her at Rivendell," he muttered. I tried to school my surprise at his lie. "Elrond said that they found her without knowledge of where she was. My nephew took a liking to her so we took her with as a personal… chattel. It's very lonely on long travels."

Did Thorin just refer to me as a sex slave?

All the while I kept my mouth shut, trying not to act as surprised as I felt. What was he trying accomplish? Thorin looked dark and smug, while this king looked disgusted and even more pissed off.

"Is this true young one," he took a softer tone, "did they force you to commit acts that you did not want to?" With his words his fingers grazed my neck and shoulder. The touch stung if only for a second.

Kili mauled me.

"The dark haired archer was molesting her when we found them," Legolas offered.

The king glared at Thorin once more, pacing around the room. Finally he settled back into his throne. "Tauriel, take her and clean her up. Feed her and clothe her. Do not worry child, we will care for you from now forward," the king flicked his hand to the side.

I was whisked away promptly. Everything moved so fast as I was pushed into a hot tub of water and scrubbed by other female elves. Confusion coated each of them as they found my pocket knife when it tumbled out of my underwear. I was thankful they gave it back to me. They pushed me into a silver tight dress and attempted to unbraid my hair. I fought hard to keep it the way it was. When they turned I shoved the knife between my breasts. From there I was dragged to something that appeared to be a kitchen. Internally I groaned at the fruits and vegetables that were placed in front of me once more. There was no way in hell I was staying here as an elf and not eating meat. It was time to bust out of this bitch.

Once I finished off with bread Legolas appeared in the kitchen I was in. "Lady Laurel," he bowed softly, "allow me to escort you to your chambers."

I quirked an eyebrow, "I am not tired. I just woke a while ago when you fetched me from the cell I was in. What happened to my things?"

"You won't be needing them. We will care for you as my father said before," he replied.

Father? So I was talking to another prince. Overall he was a handsome elf, but he was no Kili—who seemed to ooze sexiness with even the smallest of smirks.

"Well I may not need all my things, but I need some things from my pack. Personal things," I offered, trying to smile and look appealing to get what I want. He looked at me with a small smile and offered his arm.

"Of course," he stated as he led me away. "They are in the wine cellar. We can go there now."

"Oh I've never had elvish wine before," I replied pretending to be excited. "I was only in Rivendell for a few days when the dwarves took me with them."

Throughout all the mazes I begun to get confused and lost. Hopefully Bilbo was sneaking around somewhere so that our soon to be escape would be more easily done. The way that Legolas peered at me from the corner of his eyes seemed to be that of interest. Interest for what I do not know, but I didn't care for the look either way. "You share a striking resemblance to Tauriel," he mentioned as we started to descend some stairs.

"I've noticed," I muttered. Surprisingly we found ourselves in the dungeons where all the dwarves were sitting and sulking. My eyes looked to find Kili resting against the wall tired and droopy eyed. "Actually, do you mind if I speak with the…filthy dwarves," I forced myself to sound disgusted.

Legolas' eyes narrowed as he took a step toward another set of stairs leading to the cellar. "Why do you want to talk to your captors," he reasoned.

"Well the king acted as if he wanted something from Thorin," I replied evasively, "I suspect I can use their liking to me as an advantage to help him get what he wants. For all the kindness he is bestowing on me of course."

It was convincing to even myself, how my speech changed, coy and innocent at the same time. Without another word Legolas nodded and left, stomping down the stairs two at a time. In a hurry I ran to Thorin's cell first, slapping my hands against the bars to startle him to attention.

"What is your plan," I whispered hurriedly before Legolas returned.

"Find the keys to the cellar and release us, we will figure out the rest as we go," he muttered looking around too. "Where is Bilbo?"

"Lurking around somewhere I suppose, he is probably trying to formulate a plan himself," I muttered. "Ideas on where the guards with the keys went?"

"The wine cellar," Kili's voice called out behind me. Slowly I left Thorin, to walk hurriedly to Kili's cell and lean into it to see him more properly. His fingers wrapped around mine through the cold metal as his eyes raked my body. "I very much like that dress."

A small smile tugged at my lips, "Thank you. It is too tight."

"Little doe," he whispered, face pressing against the bars, "I am truly sorry for what I did before we came to be here."

"Its alright," I squeezed his hand, "it was the sickness of the woods. I understand. Just focus on trying to get out of here for now." I pressed my lips against his fingers, feeling the coldness in his flesh seep into my soft skin.

We had to get out of here.

Previous Chapter << Chapter 14: Moonlight Hues

Next Chapter >> Chapter 16: Lucid Trickery

[degenerate-perturbation]

Thoughts on The Hobbit: The Tolkien Edit

I downloaded this years ago and never watched it. After my semi-willing viewing of the extended editions, I figured I'd give it a try. I have to say I'm extremely pleasantly surprised. At a cool 4.5 hours, this cut isn't short, but it feels complete, satisfying, and is three times shorter than the originals (and probably only about as long as extended ROTK). It is viewable in acceptable quality on a relatively large HD TV, and is available for download here.

General Thoughts

I found it weirdly heartwarming how the title card simply read "The Hobbit" with no subtitle. It made me feel excited about the cinematic story all over again.

The missing scenes of the White Counckl and Dol Goldur and all the elf stuff are just...not felt at all. The only reason I remembered them originally being there at all is because I watched the original cut so recently. But they really are absolutely inconsequential. Apparently the editor also cut a bunch of scenes that I entirely forgot even existed, even though I literally just watched the original cut.

I actually liked the addition of Radagast to the original cut but this movie doesn't really feel the loss of him either.

I am very impressed by the editor's cut of the barrels out of bond scene. It was one of the most irritating scenes in the original but this cut is short, fun, and has just enough hijinks without getting too excessive. It really drives home how ridiculous the original cut of the scene was--the elves can be totally removed from the scene and you just don't notice!

They cut the entire original climax to Unexpected Journey, which means losing the fifteen birds in five fir trees scene, which is a shame because it was a whole chapter in the book and had a beautiful color palette in the film--but weirdly if you cut straight from them running away from goblins after the Misty Mountains to Beorn's house, it still works? It makes the eagles at the end kind of a weird addition, though, so I wish there'd been some way to keep it.

Cutting the climax of Unexpected Journey also means Thorin and Bilbo never have that big Moment, but I think it works better for their relationship. Instead of a huge turning point you just see Thorin's attitude slowly change, and it makes the relationship more organic. Also it means that the first act climax is Bilbo's speech to the dwarves after the mountains, which I thought was one of the best movie-only scenes, and having that scene's thunder stolen by another battle and overwrought drama scene was lame.

I think leaving as many Bard scenes as they did (relative to the book) was a good idea. He plays a fairly important role so getting the audience to care about him and Esgaroth is important enough to spend time on.

In this cut Azog is only introduced when the Great Goblin contacts him, which works very well in part because it makes the encounter in Goblin Town our first sight of the goblins/orcs, and therefore that much more tense and frightening.

A lot of the hype around Thorin's Majesty is gone, which has the effect of returning him to much of his book characterization as a faintly ridiculous very important dwarf. But his story and eventual death is touching in this version of the film just as in the book.

Without all the extra bullshit, Esgaroth's wonder and excitement at the Mountain King's return is genuinely very moving and beautiful.

I wish Thorin's last words had remained "But sad or merry, I must leave it now. Farewell." I realize the editors didn't have that to work with but that line always gutted me and I wish they'd kept it from the book.

Scenes They Kept That I Would Have Cut

The troll fight scene could have stood to be a bit shorter and more focused on the humor--as an early scene in a very long movie it shouldn't be too serious.

The Rivendell scene dragged a bit. I would have been somewhat more judicious about the level of drama in it, for the same reason as above.

Alfrid could have been cut almost entirely without losing anything. He adds nothing and gets on everyone's nerves. Any scene with him that isn't absolutely necessary can go.

Bilbo fighting a giant spider for the Ring. That scene is supposed to be about a rather major turnaround in Bilbo's character, and focusing on how the Ring is evil is both a distraction and also doesn't really belong in a Hobbit movie.

The Smaug chase scene with the dwarves has already been trimmed down significantly, but I think it can stand more trimming.

Most of the orc scenes before the final battle, honestly. They cut most of them already but you could get rid of all of them except right after the Misty Mountains, during the barrel scene, and the final battle.

I would cut more of the Fili and Kili scenes. We don't see their deaths in this cut so they end up inexplicably absent at the end, so all this buildup with their relationship to the King seems for nothing. Either keep their deaths or defocus from the Super Special Durin bloodline and focus more on the ordinary friendships of Bilbo and the dwarves.

You can cut Thorin's entire overwrought fight with Azog at the end and cut straight from Bilbo getting knocked out to Thorin collapsing to die and Bilbo coming to, without losing a goddamn thing. I think it would make Thorin's death more touching--neither Bilbo nor the audience gets to see how exactly such an important dwarf was killed. We arrive just in time to watch him die.

In fact much more of the battle should have been cut. Almost all of the Bard and Thranduil fight scenes can go, as they involve a lot of ridiculous slapstick (Thranduil's elk stabbing orcs, Bard driving a cart downhill into a troll, etc) that fits our protagonists but not these rather serious minor characters.

Scenes They Cut That I Would Have Kept

The 'Chip the Plates' song. Come on! It was so charming! (I will say that the editing around it was so good that I didn't realize they'd cut it until well after Thorin had been introduced.)

Bilbo talking to Bofur on the ramparts of Erebor when he's sneaking out. Bofur is one of my favorite dwarves and frankly any scenes where it's just Bilbo and the dwarves having friendly interactions is, I think, worth keeping.

Thorin giving Bilbo the mithril shirt. See above--also, he's seen wearing it and it does come up in LOTR, so I'd say worth keeping.

Dain and Thranduil's army exchanging blows before the goblin army arrives. For one thing it's satisfying to see the elves not being on top of everything all the time, and seeing some genuinely impressive competent dwarves. For another, it's an important tension-building beat--without it the goblin army feels like it shows up way too fast.

I think this was an extended edition scene, but the whole caper with Balin and the other warrior dwarves capering on the frozen river during the battle. I would sooner keep this scene, which is charming and fun and full of little character moments for characters we've been with since the start, than all the stuff with Thranduil and Bard, who ought to maintain their minor parts in the story.

Bilbo sitting shell shocked with Gandalf after the battle. Without it, the ending feels extremely rushed, and I think it's the weakest part of the movie.

I liked the little extra funeral scene before Bilbo tries to sneak away. The ending to a 4.5 hr movie needs more breathing room and the funeral scene is part of that. If you keep Fili and Kili's scenes, you definitely have to keep this scene.

Concluding Thoughts

The Tolkien Edit isn't exactly the Hobbit movie I wanted, but it's about 90% of the Hobbit movie I wanted. I had previously felt bitter and resentful about the bloated mess the film version of my very favorite book had become. This cut went a long way towards healing that bitterness. This cut left me feeling excited and happy about the Jackson Hobbit, because after all, they shot loads of great material. They just also shot loads of terrible material, too. And turns out if you just cut those parts out, you get a pretty darn good movie. I recommend that anyone desiring to watch the Jackson Hobbit movies instead watch this version.

[bookenders]

11/11/11 Tag Game: 16/17/18?

Back again to spill the tea about myself for all you lovely people.Thanks @cataclysmic-writer, @maybeillwriteit and @aurisadventure for the tags!

My answers are under the cut. 😊

Rules: Answer the 11 questions of the person who tagged you, make up 11 questions, then tag 11 people to answer them. 

Bilbo Taggins: @brittanyisart, @quilloftheclouds, @brittanyisart, @brynwrites, @creatvrae, @elisabethrosewrites, @elizabethsyson, @ren-c-leyn, @yetmorestories, @pinespittinink, @timefire25

My Questions:

What are your thoughts on throw pillows?

Do you have any podcast recommendations? How about TV shows?

What month would you be on a calendar, and what would the picture be?

What is one book that you absolutely love, no matter what anyone else has to say about it? 

What’s your favorite kind of scented candle?

What’s your favorite urban legend?

Would you ever go on an arctic expedition?

What’s the furthest from home you’ve ever been?

What is the best snack?

How purple do you allow your prose to be/get? What’s your purple limit? Is there one?

What’s one word/line/scene/character that you want to put in a story, but you haven’t found the right place for yet?

@cataclysmic-writer‘s questions:

What do you eat or drink while writing? It varies depending on how I’m feelin’. Usually a big giant glass of water. I used to have coffee and/or tea, but it always got cold because I forgot about it. That’s actually how I used to measure my progress, by how cold the drink was.  And coffee got me too jazzed to sit still, so I stopped drinking while writing. Good for academic papers, though.

Best piece of advice you ever received? Like... ever? Okay. People are more interested in themselves/absorbed with themselves to really care what you’re doing. Very empowering for someone with real bad social anxiety (like myself heyooo).

Which book inspired you to write the most? I’ve talked about Laurie Halse Anderson’s Wintergirls before, and I’m gonna mention it again. And that I went to a signing for her new book Shout and I got to thank her and my life has been enriched a thousand-fold.

Which author do you try to emulate when you write? Oh, man, I do not do this at all. Okay, well, not at all, because I find it to be a valuable writing exercise to practice with. But I super don’t. I’ve done projects where I’ve emulated Walt Whitman, Philip Levine, Tolkien, Dostoevsky, Poe (eugh), and Anne Valente. Those were super fun. I like imitating styles and I’ve gotten pretty darn good at it. Sometimes I tell myself to put a Gaiman-like twist on a section, though, or describe something like another author if it fits the tone for funsies. But I like writing like me! 

Where did you get the idea for your current wip? I’ve already talked about Heart to Heart, so I’ll talk about “Fish Food!” This one happened when I was pondering superheroes, James Bond, tropes, evil monologues, and the like. I had the image of a hero tied up and dangling over a pit of piranhas while the villain detailed his evil plan. But the hero didn’t follow the script. And then, like every one of my short stories, it spun way out of control. I started to think of what heroes would inhabit this world that erupted from the fertile soil of my brain and suddenly I had a big complicated story that I was excited about. And it was funny, which is a change for me.

Do you have a go-to beta reader/writing buddy you bounce ideas off of? I do! One of my goodest friends is a fellow writer and she’s my spaghetti wall if I need assistance. We went through the same creative writing program one year apart and had different teachers, so we offer each other pretty different advice, and it’s great. She’s super into fae lore, too, which is ridiculously helpful for me, a nerd who is writing a light fantasy story with fae in it. We operate in different styles and genres, though, so sometimes idea-bouncing is a little tricky.

Which of your WIPs is your favorite? Of the ones I’m working on right now? Probably “Incarnate.” Partly because it’s closer to my usual writing fare, partly because it’s weird and disturbing in my favorite ways, partly because the ending is really cool and surprising in a way that hits you long after you finish it. I also like it because it’s hard for me to write. Yay, challenges!

Tea, coffee, or soda? Tea for chillin’, coffee for workin’, soda for pizza times.

If you could have any fantasy creature as a pet, which would you have? A brownie to clean my house, or a domovoi to act as a weird home security system would be neat. For non-practical purposes, I’d also say a pegasus. I can ride pretty well and it’d be so convenient to just fly everywhere on my awesome horse buddy.

Do you like creepy/scary movies? NOPE. I am a big chicken shit when it comes to spooky things. As a kid, I was terrified of E.T. That’s how bad it was. 

What genre do you have yet to write in, but want to write soon? Hm. Maybe historical fiction? I already play with it a little bit without actually going into the history part of it too deeply. Maybe I’ll give it a shot in the future.  I’ve always wanted to give magical realism a good try, though. It’s always been hard for me to write. 

________________________________________

@aurisadventure​‘s questions:

1. Who is your favorite oc? Why?

Right now, it’s Lithium from “Fish Food.” She’s just so fun. I also just figured out a big part of Jill’s character that I’m excited to add to H2H!

2. What is your favorite thing to do when you’re not writing?

I got into cooking a while ago, and that’s pretty fun. I do yoga sometimes. I read a bunch. I also like putting things together. Honestly, I’m a big giant nerd who likes learning in their spare time.

3. What is your least favoured genre?

Hard sci-fi is really hard for me to get into. And some contemporary stuff, but it’s not as bad as hard sci-fi.

4. Top three favorite video games? (Any console)

DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS (with Awakening DLC, obvs) (except for the goddamn Mage Circle Fade part I hate it and it deserves to burn in hell)

Ori and the Blind Forest (I’m stuck on the last stupid fire volcano level and I’m so mad because it’s hard but this game is beautiful)

To The Moon (so many tears, such good story)

Honorable mention to Assassin’s Creed 2. 

(I love RPGs.)

5. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done for inspiration?

Hm. I don’t really go out and seek inspiration like this. I just consume a whole lot of art in varying mediums. 

I went to a poetry slam one time. Does that count?

6. Buggy or Cart?

Horses, buggy. Oxen, cart. As much as I’d like to be Gandalf...

7. Have you finished any of your wips?

I am so goddamn close to finishing “When Your Song is Over and Done” I can taste it. I’m hoping to write that last stupid scene this week. It’s been the one WIP that’s been kicking my ass lately. How rude.

I’m a short story writer, so I finish a lot of my WIPs. It’s kinda nice. That’s also why longer projects scare me.

8. But like… can I read it?

😉

In the meantime, you can read these!

9. What is your favorite animal? Why?

Highland Cows! Just look at them. 

I’m sure I have a more interesting answer for this, but honestly, cows are all I can think of. I love cows. 

10. Name one place you want to visit more than anything.

Norway! Not sure why. Seems like a really cool place to be.

(I lied I love space and want to go to the observatories.)

11. What is your most cherished childhood memory?

Saturday mornings curled up in my grandfather’s armchair watching TV and eating Burger King before we go visit the animals at the farm.

________________________________________

@maybeillwriteit‘s questions:

1. Which oc would you most like to go for a drink with?

I don’t drink, but I think Treena would be an excellent conversation partner. 

2. Where do you like to write? Bed? Desk? Cafe? etc etc

I have a desk in my room. Not that I usually write at it. I’m good anywhere I can sit up straight and rest my arms.

3. Which of your ocs do you think people are most likely to make fanart for?

Eventually, I hope Mel. I love her character design. Or the superheroes and villains from “Fish Food.” They all have really distinct appearances and cool costumes/uniforms.

4. Favourite piece of writing advice you’ve received?

Probably the time my mentor also admitted he hated writing dialogue, but that sometimes you just gotta. 

5. Which place in your stories would you like to live? (i’ve read this sentence ten times and i ain’t convinced it’s grammatically correct lol)

(maybe: In which place/where in your stories would you most like to live? I dunno this one’s freaking my brain.)

Linsay would be the best place to live, I think. A very chill small town that has everything you need, very supportive soon-to-be friends, an apothecary on stand-by, and lovely weather. Its residents are fiercely protective and are very willing to look the other way where the law is concerned if it helps someone.

6. Do any authors/books influence your writing? Which ones?

Oh, tons. Jim Butcher, Laurie Halse Anderson, George Saunders, Anne Valente, Tolkien, Gaiman, Matt Bell, Aimee Bender, and a whole bunch more authors. And, if you wanna get all heartfelt about it, every single book I’ve read has influenced my writing, whether it’s learning how to do something, learning how not to do something, or finding a new technique that jives with my style.

7. Pick one song that represents your wip.

I’ve done a bunch of song stuff with H2H, so this is for “Fish Food:”

Honestly, my first instinct is “Superboy and the Invisible Girl” from Next to Normal. But it’s not quite right.

I also wanna say “Super Friends” from Holy Musical B@man. 

But in my heart, I know the true answer is “Under Pressure.” How could it not be?

8. Favourite thing about being a writer?

The feels! I love writing things and getting my own feels out, then making other people feel things. It’s so satisfying. 

9. Characters or plot, what came first?

Characters! Oh my God, always characters. And before characters, concept and theme(s). Sometimes a scene just pops into my head and I have to figure out who these people are and why they’re there.

10. Do you like writing prompts?

I do indeedy. They’re pretty helpful when I’m stuck. I only write for the ones that instantly spark an idea in my brain, though. All the ones I’m getting for my 800 followers celebration are insanely good. 

11. Part of your wip that you’re most excited to write?

Oh, man! So many!

H2H: The climax! Well, one of them. The one of the magic incidents and Mel and Gemma’s relationship, to be specific.

Fish Food: When my main two dudes meet Lithium! And figure out what’s going on with her. Or anything about Lithium’s real life. Her story is wild.

WYSiOaD: The goddamn rooftop scene that’s been kicking my ass for a month. It’s gonna be so emotional and poignant and great and I can’t wait for it to be over.