#I wanted it to feel really vivid
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process for my hasumi birthday art! it was a lot of work but im proud of myself for getting it out in time! its not perfect but im mostly really happy with it
#not a proper promo for my art or anything since i did that on twitter and don’t have a proper place on tumblr for my art and design yet#but I should probably set something up#hasumi nagatomi#the twitter post has the proper stuff not just the process#she was originally meant to be in sweet soft tones but I changed my mind so it felt more like a concert picture#cannot resist sparkles#I wanted it to feel really vivid#drawing the cheesecake was so fun it turned out so well#I really wanted to keep the peplum on the top but no matter how I drew the lineart it didn’t work right#sadge#but I found a way around it#designing original outfits for art is the way to go it’s so rewarding#10/10 would wear#I wanted to edit this onto a deresute template but couldn’t find the right one#deresute#idolmaster cinderella girls
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Maladaptive daydreaming.
#daydreaming#maladaptive daydreaming#maladapting daydreaming disorder#maladaptive behaviors#maladaptive coping#dissociation#immersive daydreaming#dimond speaks#yeah so adding this to my list here lol#my therapist helped me realize i dissociate a LOT and the primary way i do it is through vivid daydreams#they usually happen at work but they also pop up if i'm having a bad day or... anytime really.#i've also come to the realization that i have at least one of these a day which is not good fgsjh#my therapist says they're not inherently bad especially since they do have a positive effect on my emotions (if its a good daydream)#but it's gotten to the point that it's affecting the way i work#and they can last for a LONG time too#i haven't timed them but i do know they've been over 30 minutes at work before#this is either due to ADHD autism PTSD or a mixture of the three lmao#weeeee#anyway. this post isn't really intended to be a vent post#it's more like a 'this is my experience' type post#it just kinda comes across as somewhat vent-y#but that was because i wanted to try and immerse the reader into what its like to have these daydreams#like mine look NOTHING like this but making it more generic would help others understand it#the void is the general dissociation from reality#then you emerge in the dream#i can feel things as if i'm there- the sun the wind and sometimes even physical touch#and i'll stay there until something snaps me out#strangely i can get my work done while i'm doing this- i just wont have any memory of doing so. it's like being on autopilot#anyway. I hope this post was helpful to someone out there#if you also maladaptive daydream YOU ARE NOT ALONE! it's valid and you're not 'faking' anything. it's a genuine trauma response.
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Started reading The Bad Wingmen by @topazshadowwolf and @paddie-ut and it utterly possessed me for a few days so I needed to draw some of my favourite bits
#UTDR#UTMV#Dadmare#Dust Sans#Killer Sans#Nightmare Sans#Balance Toriel#You ever read a fanfic so good you have to draw 4 pages worth of moments from it?#I think I probably could have done more but I needed to have some self control so this post wouldn't be enormous lol#I didn't expect to get so invested in this one but the Dust and Killer interactions really fascinate me#They're so chaotic and they get at each other's throats even though they're not that different but they have each other's backs deep down#I'm just. They're brothers your honour and I love to see it#Almost all of these are from one chapter but the whole thing is so good#Fuzzynight is growing on me I'm excited to see more of these two#And don't get me started on Nightmare's unruly kids trying to set him up because they want him to be happy#It's eternally sweet but also hilarious#The real question is are they still grounded now that Nightmare and Lyra have agreed to date?#The answer is almost certainly yes but I feel like they'll still argue they should get a reduced punishment for being right (and helping)#Also I tried to do the dappled sunlight effect you described with the last picture because it was so vivid to me#And I love to see a rare moment of Dust and Killer at peace with each other#Oh my god there are four million tags I'm sorry tldr I love this fic I want to print it out and eat it okay goodbye!!#My Art
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when you think about it Vivid Bad Squad was the first time any of them truly had people outside of family and not just classmates or family acquaintances. it's no wonder they got so ride or die for each other despite the rocky start they understand each other in ways no one else has before
#thinking again about how an's dream was doubted by everyone except akito at first#how it's akito specifically to find toya (two kids who ran away once. two kids who want to sing more than anything else)#how it's kohane that an chooses as her partner (an's loneliness from living in vivid street kohane's from never knowing anything like it)#akito testing kohane's resolve (he knows how this goes does she really want to continue)#kohane being the one to say toya looked like he was having fun (it is a new feeling but she loves it and knows he is the same)#more recently toya being the one to speak to an in wtwg (he's been here before after all)#loneliness in vivid bad squad and how it isn't that they didn't necessarily have anyone before#but rather it wasn't anyone who understood them the way they all do#sorry i thought about loneliness in the sekai mcs again and thought of how vbs are all implied to not have proper friends before the story#(an has haruka and toya the tenmas but haruka has been gone a while and the tenmas came from his link to classical)#i mean it can be said for each unit how they understand each other in ways no one else can#but with vbs especially it's. despite being in the welcoming space of vivid street they're all they really have#correction i know kohane has minori (and shiho) and akito has a few not named classmates i think? but they weren't until high school#(at least 1-a trio weren't. and again akito's classmates probably aren't that involved with vivid street or it would likely be a thing)#(so idk why i'm adding this since it sort of just proves the point further that vbs just get each other)
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i want to write fic soooo bad but i feel like i just can't present a narrative in a way that anyone will understand idk it always just feels so nonsensical, whatever i write. Even just writing a plan its like after a while all words just lose all meaning idk what this meanss idk how to do this
#like its jsut so hard to explain it like everything becomes word soup or something#like the longer i write the more it feels like the story is pointless even if im trying to write about something concrete#AUAUGH i just dont have a way with words i guess. but its also about the way of writing idk man idkk the story is there but at the same tim#its nothing#i cant explain it#ive wanted to write fic and comics and even flesh out ideas and after a while of trying it just feels so pointless and like its about#nothing even though im not even writing stream of consciousness like I KNOW the things i want to write are here but the story is just.#nothing#AUAHHHFDD HOW DO I EXPLAINNNN#this is a very vivid feeling in my brain whenever i enter this stage of writing anything#UGHHHHHFVBHVD ok bye#i mean i dont really have good ideas either but uhh i would like too :^/#idk im just looking if anyone feels this way too or if they fight it somehow -_-
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wish they would just let me live on wuhu island man.. kicks pebble and sighs
#honest to god I would have vivid daydreams abt living on the Wii sports wuhu island#i really liked playing the plane game bc of the fun lore and seeing the little miis everywhere and imagining what lives they lead#used to get weirdly excited to see one of my family’s miis chilling on the chair of the plane dock like it made me so happy#just these small touches. like how one of the ipoints in the game is this one single canoeing mii out in the ocean#some lost hikers and someone with a dead car battery. the runners circle in the town#i wonder if this has anything to do with anthropomorphizing but it does also feel a little connected to my reasons for liking the#apartment stage in wii music and getting little glimpses of miis walking at night and stuff#you’d think this would make tomodachi life my favorite game but all I really wanna do is just spectate and watch a town of miis going about#just have em under a microscope or perhaps like an ant farm. I dont know why though#I don’t want to interact with any of them or decide anything for them but just. watching them#and if my body got to live on wuhu island I’d just be watching it like my own shell walk around without me in it#yapping
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with the whole thing of Akito and Kohane reaching RADer levels of singing, do you think there’d be a possibility for an akihoha event?
#like one focusing on how they feel towards each other (platonically obviously)#Especially touching on the main story too?#Cause like it bothered me that we never really got much closure on what happened with them#And since chapter two of vbs stories focused a lot on kohane and she got RADer levels of singing#I have a slight feeling this year will be Akito focused in terms of vbs events?#but yeah anyways I also want an antoya event of at least how they feel about all this stuff#Cant wait till January for (I think) the next vbs event#hopefully it’s Toya focused too cause last one we got was Walk On and On I think#project sekai#akito shinonome#kohane azusawa#akikoha#shinonome akito#azusawa kohane#akihane#not gonna tag antoya cause I mentioned it once#vivid bad squad
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this is so funny to me okay so the timeline goes
Several years ago in my desperately wanting to be a werewolf phase I looked at like one or two pages of the first chapter of the glass scientists but it had literally just started and hadn't gotten past chapter two and I was. A child. So I ended up like of dropping it
Fast forward several years later...
I'm looking at random tv tropes articles and there's one with a picture of a girl with a skeleton hand
I reverse image search it and one of the suggested images is a panel from chapter one of tgs
flashback.jpg
I binge the entire comic in a single day and buy volume one immediately
edward hyde and associates sink their grubby little paws into my brain
and today I just spend twenty one pounds on a copy of the two main source materials (j&h and frankenstein) and a copy of the jekyll and hyde OBCR and a copy of the original studio cast recording which had to come over the sea from TEXAS
#don't thiiink I'll tag this because idk whether anyone cares except my followers but yeah#I do just really enjoy cataloguing my histories with fandoms if I can remember them lmao#but I saw that reversed image google suggestions and I got the most vivid flashback to being younger and in the absolute throes#of my wanting to be a werewolf phase (newsflash past me it was the transness and the autism)#and reading those first few panels with jasper#I stg I cried happy tears at the jasper reveal because idk it's like.#Werewolves are a big thing for me because sometimes I don't feel human and sometimes I don't like my body and I'd rather be a wolf tbh#and then to look back on things and realise that and realise that one of the werewolves I came across when I didn't know who was is like me#man. ah man.#any way sorry about the tag essay everyone
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divinity has died, and you are still here.
#got this a little bit ago really wanted to get it on paper.#i KNOW what she wants but its not going to help her... she wants to feel like she can just move on#and pretend the past 2 yrs never happened. but she cant. not yet. she knows that#and i know that.#ask 2 tag#idk if this will spook anyone as much as me. but yk#i hate seeing her like this.#i hate being like this. shes not real but if i dont poke and try to think like she IS... like shes seperate from me#its like i cant reach her at all#i need to forget the 4th wall in order to know her and thats.. back tracking#especially with her in this state. its a mess of guilt and anxiety that isnt good for me#but i love her so.... so idk#gotta find that balance again. so that she can find it too maybe#art#doodles#Naomi#meeee#edit: its settled i think... shes settled yk. she got excited at the idea that i COULD speed this along for her. but we both know i cant#so. shes more stable i think. but this bit i drew was very vivid#god. if i develop DID bc im trying NOT to disasociate as much im gonna SUE
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#project sekai#colorful stage#vivid bad squad#vbs#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#anhane#i really want to draw but the world is against me so i’m dumping some doodles#i feel like you can slowly watch me learn how to draw again in this lmao#i’m not tagging charas bc they barely look like themselves ahah#my main acc is pxme_grante…i’ll post real stuff there sooner or later#KOHANE LOOKS REALLY PRETTY IN DEVILS MANNER 2DMV OKAY END POST
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Not sure if you answer these types of asks but I have Oberon brainrot and I was wondering how do you think Guda and Oberon would make out?
Oh I will absolutely answer this type of ask.
The answer is that they contain multitudes though. First/second ascension Oberon still acts out his prince role, he hates every second of it but he'll still play into it. Think romance movie kisses, the too-perfect-to-be true kind. Looks idyllic to onlookers! Kind of hollow for both participants.
Third ascension doesn't care, so it's a lot messier because honestly he's frustrated to be in this situation in the first place and even more frustrated to not be hating it. There's teeth, there's claws, there's also swatting the occasional bug that wanders out of his cape and into Guda's hair but that part isn't intended.
And Guda after all that? Guda's not taking any shit from either Oberons. Guda has tamed worse - have you seen their Servants? They're the epitome of "shut up and make out with me", whether it's "shut up (you're being annoying)" or "shut up (stop thinking so much)". It's not an aggressive kind of kiss, but it's insistent and it works wonders.
#anon#ask#answer#wait it's all horny?#always has been#i say while writing a pretty tame answer#look if i want to write about how they'd fuck i'd need a community label and i'm too lazy for it tonight#this could have been longer if i'd included castoria but you asked for obeguda and obeguda i shall deliver#fgo#obeguda#guda is also so much more experienced and skilled than oberon expects#once again comes with the massive servant roster they've accumulated#knocks the attitude right outta the bug the first time#baffled him quiet#i don't actually go into much detail when it comes to making out because sloppy tongue saliva makeouts just aren't hot to me#so i don't really care for talking about them at length personally#but it's just a me thing#feel free to picture it in vivid detail as god and this mess of a ship intended#what a great ask to answer to end the work week MAN i enjoyed that#i too have brainrot my guy obeguda and yakudo trio brainrot both#come and sit here with me this dumpster fire is so warm
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moby and portishead are such 1999 music to me. you could tell me they made music in any other year and i would not believe you
#pogaduchy#i was like 4 in 99 so i shouldnt be remembering much but it feels like a very vivid memory to me#i really wanted to add ''lolas theme'' as one with the vibe as well but then i looked it up and was horrified to find out it came out in 04#how tf was i so off. it feels like 99 to me
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I've always felt emotions very strongly. Not usually just my own but others too. I feel the life of animals and trees too. I've had arguments with people that *trees aren't alive like we are* but I swear I can feel their life. I'm too sensitive for this world I think. I swear I be googling how to make a fire without wood because I wish there was a way to not kill a tree.
I take a moment of silence for every dead animal on the side of the road that people just casually run over.
I don't understand how so many people selfishly kill animals and trees and don't believe. I know I'm not alone in this but today I was just staring outside and it's so beautiful out. It's autumn and everything has such vivid colors. I really feel everything right now. I wish things didn't have to die.
#i am rambling#i was driving and had a poem I wanted to write down but i got dizzy cus of my bealth issues so when i finally stopped to breathe and write#the poem was out of my bead this has happened like four times this week#anyways i am just in awe at nature lately kts been so fucking vivid and i wanred to say i can really feel the life of it all arohnd me it ma#makes me happy#but death doesnt#but im dizzy so my point was prob lost#my thoughts#personal#life#thoughts#trees#Autumn#fall#animals#sensitive#rambling#im just a girl#im afraid of spiders and whever someone kills one cus I was screaming in fear i feel so sick from that. im a murderer
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happy maybe april fools day for you here's some shuffle units
you can read an unnecessary amount about their stories here:
Future/Passed (l/n): During one of Toya's street performances, a familiar face passes by one day. To his surprise, Ichika asks him to form a band together, with Toya as the lead vocalist and Ichika as the lead guitarist. On the lookout for new members, he manages to convince the reclusive girl in his class, Nene, who happens to be the school marching band drummer, to join their band. Through one of their practices, they are approached by a composer and keyboardist, Kanade, who finds a sweet nostalgia in their music. Together, they slowly open up to each other and help each other through their personal struggles with music. FLY FLY HIGH (mmj): Failing yet another idol audition, Kohane sits with Minori as she practices for her next audition. Inspired by her determination and unwavering confidence, Kohane pushes herself to go out of her comfort zone and joins Minori in her journey to become an idol. Later, mistakenly stumbling onto their rooftop practice and in search for a new activity to take part in during high school, Saki all but begs to join them as well. Realising they're all very new to the idol world, Saki introduces them to her brother, a more seasoned singer and dancer than them. Tsukasa eventually joins their idol group as well, as he looks out for his (rapidly growing amount of) younger sister(s). VIVIDS!! (vbs): Moving on from her idol life, Haruka joins An in some of her live performances, and finds herself with a natural talent for street performance. Soon enough they begin to be seen as a duo, and grab the attention of Shiho when they perform in the live house she works at. Upon their offer, An also invites Mizuki to be their stylist, event organiser, and manager. With Mizuki's promos, Shiho's headstrong drive to go pro, An's determination to surpass RAD WEEKEND, and Haruka's professionalism, they quickly gain the attention of the performers along Vivid Street. Shhh:Secret Showtime (wxs): Rui finds out a video of his one man performance has gone viral, filmed by a user named "Enanan". Finding this as a way to make a name for herself, Ena approaches Rui after school one day and asks him to team up. She becomes the manager and assigns Rui the frontman, and begins her search for more talents. Along the way she finds Honami, a sweet girl with a love for the park Rui first went viral in, and strikes gold when an elegant, mysterious masked performer "Lucky Bunny" joins them. (SMILE:) (niigo): A week after the destruction of the Wonder Stage, Emu finds herself drawn to Mafuyu. Finding OWN's music and realising the two are one and the same, Emu becomes determined to write lyrics to bring a true smile to Mafuyu's face. Unbeknownst to them, Airi takes her own hand at editing after quitting her idol job. After finding out Ena's brother is an artist, she and Akito begin posting together as a duo. Emu reaches out to them anonymously online, and together they create (SMILE:). here's their units lined up before i talk about their sekais and music
F/P: The SEKAI is collectively created through the memories of all four members. Together, they manifest the Gallery SEKAI. The Gallery SEKAI appears as a museum gallery, with long winding hallways and never-ending pathways. Images hang on the walls, some clear, some blurred, some distorted and some worn. The main foyer contains the band instruments, with its high cavernous ceiling creating a sense of smallness and wonder while providing echoing acoustics. They focus on acoustic, nostalgic, and calming songs. FFH: The SEKAI is collectively created through the ambition of all its members. Together, they manifest the Stage SEKAI. Different idol stages create the SEKAI, each with different functionality, size and purpose. The audience is filled with talking plushies holding glowsticks. They focus on pop songs but sometimes do punk, rock, and occasionally perform story-driven music concerts VIVIDS: The SEKAI is initially created by An, Haruka, and Mizuki. Together, they create the Street SEKAI. With a cafe at its core, the streets are covered in colourful graffiti and bright, colourful lights. They focus on EDM, hip-hop, and i'm very bad at describing music genres its just normal vbs music. Shh:SS: The SEKAI is created by Ena and Rui. Together, they make the Cyberspace SEKAI, a cyber-steampunk style wonderland filled with disjointed, floating stage spaces and impressive barebones machinery lined with LED wires. There are clear edges to the world and generally does not feel safe according to Honami and especially Shizuku — however, neither Ena nor Rui seem to mind. They focus on flashy, exciting, and loud music. :) : The SEKAI is created by Mafuyu, and partially by Emu. Since its creation, the SEKAI has transformed into the Empty Wonderland, a desolate SEKAI with a loop of overgrown pathways lined with apple trees, all leading back to a slightly raised stage in the centre. They focus on a variety of songs, with a range of genres and often very bittersweet lyrics.
#prsk fa#prsk fanart#project sekai#pjsk fanart#pjsk#colorful stage#project sekai fanart#prsk#puroseka#strbylmn art#i know some of these ideas are like cringe mary sue something edgy (AHEM WXS SHUFFLE) but fuck it i ball#hatsune miku colorful stage#shizuku's mask is inspired by airi's happy everyday persona#saki was also inspired to pursue idoling by airi#akito's an artist that wants to surpass his father while ena is trying to stand out and dance aheh#sorry the wxs shuffle looks terrible i drew it first but on the flip side vivids are really cute#i feel like i couldve shuffled the units better but whatever#anyways because of this ive convinced myself ena and rui are canonically besties and i've never disappointed myself more#thank you. if you've read this far. uh it's just been insane rambling but yah bye
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Good morning Vivid Bad Squad it seems like something has happened
#i don't. mind the fact we're getting back to back lims since. they're cards at the end of the day#that aside oh we're doing it NOW now. i can work with this#i am actually really excited for this. because i am all for what vbs would do after rw#and i definitely need to read wl/fc/wtwg now. like right now. i need to be able to read this event as it comes out#this is like the big one. lutf and wtwg were also the big ones but this is the BIG BIG one#and this means these kids can start to grow out of dedicating it all to one event. it means they can realize who they want to be#eh idk. i suppose it makes sense why some are mad it is happening now but it makes sense seeing how there isn't much else they can do with -#rad weekend as it is. like they have found why it happened their resolve has been tested they have been given things to work on#this event i feel will be what brings the fire back to vivid street. and then the rest will become them carving their own path through it#and since arata is still not exactly back (and from this may not be there) well.. i can see them going into that in the next few events)#bagel's rambles#now i am even more convinced kohane's assignment has to do with bringing the emotions of the singer and audience into her voice#to replicate what happened at crawl green. i'm excited for that#and now it makes sense why giga is doing the comm
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Just came and now I'm eating apple turnover and fizzy orange. I think I'm winning at life
#when i masturbate ( I really hate the word for some reason but wtv) i get so into it i legit have such a vivid imagination#it feels almost real sometimes#BUT NOT REAL ENOUGH TO STOP ME WANTING A BOYF#if i had a dom to take proper care of me (and to take care of) then i really would be winning at life#it's such a specific man i want though#in my head I'm in a codependent relationship with one of my ocs so anyone i date has to remind me of him#(i say as if I've ever really dated)#anyways. checks off on hand. alt tall dark haired slightly sadistic extremely obsessive guard dog gothic asshole but tender types hmu#bonus points if u always smell like cigarettes and petrol#bonus bonus points if ur always ever so slightly condescending wjen we speak and you would kill for me in a heartbeat#lobottomy posts#mlm nsft#nblm nsft#puppy boy#nsft#trans nsft#transmasc nsft#mlm#mlm cnc
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