#I want to see Luke in a self-help group with a bunch of people giving him hugs

[jflashandclash]

Tales From Mount Othrys

Luke: Uncomfortable Beginnings Part II

           “Sing to this cop. I need them both alive,” she croaked, her voice about to give out.

         Jack shook his head frantically. He hugged himself. “No singing,” he said.

         “We helped with your friend,” Luke said impatiently. He was uninterested in this cop’s melodic eulogy (Why would she have Jack sing to him?) and more interested in keeping the contents of his stomach inside of his stomach. This was fine. They were going to need to kill people, right? But, these cops had been innocent. They probably didn’t even know who Greek gods were beyond their commercial branding.

“Yea, we might want to get out of here before their backup realizes they aren’t responding to their radio,” Phil grumbled, “Never thought I would wish for a Cyclops in a group, but some mimicry would be fancy right now.”

Luke nodded, trying not to panic. He had to keep it together.

         Fēi Lín ignored him. Her eyes narrowed at her friend. “Jack.”

         “N-no.” He shook his head again, his hair bobbing with each shake. His vibrant eyes widened in fear.

         “Jack, he’s going to die,” she said.

         “Oh, he’s already good as dead,” Phil said, “I’ve seen plenty of half-baked corpses in my day.”

         Jack dropped to his knees with a crunch that made Luke wince.

         Luke was about to yell at them again. If this dude wasn’t going to cooperate, they needed to leave him behind.

         Then, Jack sang. The words sounded Latin and Luke caught a few that he thought he recognized, something about, Lumen Christi. Jack’s voice sliced through Luke’s anxiety. For an instant, all Luke could do was absorb the vibrations of the falsetto. Aches that Luke didn’t know he had unknotted and turned to putty. Luke hadn’t realized that he’d chewed his lip raw until he felt the skin close over, smooth and unscathed. The sickness in his stomach dissipated.

         The beauty of the singer’s range made Luke lightheaded and dizzy: a sensation of euphoric belonging that he’d heard other people describe when going to church.

         What little color there had been returned to the pale cop’s face. He exhaled. The pool of blood around his head rippled.

         When Fēi Lín wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, more didn’t appear. She sat up, piercing eyes much more alert.  

         Jack stopped singing.

         They paused for a moment.

         “Well, shit,” Phil said, sounding impressed. “Aw, shit,” he said instead when the pale cop pressed a hand to the floor to push out of his own blood.

         With how peaceful everything felt, Luke almost didn’t think to handcuff the other cop. The one with dimples had woken too. He seemed a bit more disturbed by the handcuffs and gag.

         “Stay still,” Fēi Lín said before Luke could grab the pale cop.

         Her voice no longer sounded weak. It was deep, melodious, and commanded a terrifying sense of authority. Although Luke knew he needed to handcuff that pale cop, he couldn’t get himself to move. All he could do was stare at her horrifically deformed face, wondering why his limbs wouldn’t work.

         The red-head, Jack, sagged onto his side.

         The cops hadn’t moved either. Everyone could only watch as Fēi Lín scooted to Jack, so she could take his face in her hands.

         “I’ve never seen a child of Apollo heal multiple people with one song,” Phil said. He was in mid-crouch to rise but didn’t seem able to finish the motion. “That’s some Orpheus-level shenanigans.”

         “Child of Apollo?” Jack asked. His chest fluttered rapidly. “What are you talking about? Is—is this real?” His question was directed at Fēi Lín as she forced him back into sitting position.

         “Yes,” she said. “Where were you going?”

         Jack could still move. He glanced at the abandoned cop car. Luke knew it was only a matter of time before someone came in or out of the school and saw they had one officer bound and gagged and another seemingly paralyzed. He doubted they could smile and wave and say, “Oh, it’s just a drill!”

“To the station,” Jack said.

         “Why?”

         He swallowed. “Our maid found Mom, Dad, Shelby, and Aston dead in the living room. And—and Charger.”        

         At the word “maid” anger had flared inside Luke, but it ebbed away at the last part of the sentence and the way Jack’s eyes became watery. Luke didn’t want to admit that the pale-freckles in combo with the boy’s band shirt made Luke want to give Jack a hug. Especially when Jack glanced hopefully at each of them, like someone would say his maid hadn’t found his presumed family dead.

         Fēi Lín gently stroked Jack’s cheek. “What happened?”

         “I—I—” Jack’s lips trembled. “I think I accidentally killed them.”

         “Yea, I tend to mistaken when I kill family members too,” Phil said.

         “Shut up,” Fēi Lín said to Phil, her eyes burning. Phil looked like he wanted to say more, but couldn’t. She returned her gaze back to Jack, pity crunching her leathery brow. “Did you tell the cops that?”

         Jack nodded his head, swallowing again.

         Fēi Lín exhaled slowly. She released Jack and turned to the cops. They stared at her with wide eyes.

         “Cops,” she said, “You will get onto your radios and report that you were attacked by masked assailants while trying to escort Mr. Flash to the station. The assailants pulled up in a van, attacked you two, disabled you, and took Mr. Flash as he struggled and screamed, trying to escape. You now think these are the prime suspects in the deaths of his family. You will have no recollection of me, or these two men. Is that clear?” She didn’t wait for a response, though Luke wasn’t sure they could give one. “Now get up.”

         The words were so powerful, Phil stood and Luke felt himself straighten up without intending to. He touched the top of Backbiter’s hilt, relieved he had control over his body again. What Phil had said earlier made Luke tremble. This girl could kill both of us with a single word. Luke hadn’t realized how literal that warning had been.

         In spite of whatever injuries they had sustained, both cops rose.

         There were no bruises on the neck of the cop that Fēi Lín had put into a headlock.

         The other cop’s hat had slipped off onto the pavement. Blood smeared his thinning hairline. There were no holes or fractures, nothing to show he’d been kicked by a barn animal. He looked more like something from a low-budget zombie movie.

         On the ground, Luke could see the paper flower had fallen into the man’s blood, soaking it to a deeper red.

         Both cops shambled towards their car. Neither glanced back or showed any hint of remembering Luke, Phil, Fēi Lín, and Jack were there. The one with dimples didn’t even seem to realize he was still handcuffed.

         “I don’t know how long that will work if we’re still here when they’re done reporting,” Fēi Lín said. “We need to get out of here. Let’s talk in my car.” Fēi Lín reached into a compartment on the side of her boot and withdrew two keys.

         “Wow,” slipped from Luke’s lips.

         This time, Luke felt like he had a choice about moving or staying, but a nagging, foreign sensation inclined him to do anything this girl suggested. He was pretty sure he’d start hoola-hooping in the middle of a battle if he thought it might make her smile. He chewed his lip, debating if he actually wanted to go. Phil and Jack had already started to follow.

         “Woo-ee! Man, I knew you were gonna be powerful, girlie. But an omega two-for-one sale? How do you like ‘em tin cans?” Phil asked.

         “Isn’t the expression ‘them apples?’” Jack rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. He stared at Phil’s hooves warily, glancing at Fēi Lín and Luke as if checking to if everyone also saw the shaggy legs or, maybe instead, if Phil was secretly the shadiest of moving garden decorations.

         “They’re real,” Fēi Lín confirmed. She led them over to a 1994 Jeep Wrangler in the senior parking lot. She didn’t bother opening the door. Instead, she stepped onto the foot assist and hopped over the door.  Luke felt more and more suspicious. He was waiting for Fēi Lín to pull a mask off and reveal a Charles’ Angel or some other secret agent.

Luke and Thalia had survived years outside of Camp Half-Blood on their own, but they had made it to camp when Luke was fourteen and Thalia was twelve. If you can say that Thalia made it to camp, Luke thought bitterly, remembering how often he’d dodged the camp harpies at night to sit underneath her tree’s branches. (Long story.) Anyway, Fēi Lín, and Jack, survived for at least three of four years longer and they were still trying to go to school like normal. How?  

         Luke was terrified this might be some kind of set up by the Camp Half-Blood or that other camp Kronos had mentioned. But, Chiron wasn’t that smart and didn’t plan that far ahead. No one should have known Kronos was rising. Not yet.

         Jack went to the passenger side. He used the door like a sane person. “Is he a monster?” he asked, glancing nervously as Phil crawled into the back.

         “Yes,” Fēi Lín said.

         “No,” Phil said at the same time.

         “Don’t get too attached, we might need to kill him,” Fēi Lín said.

         “Hey, Pouty Face, you coming?” Phil said with no apparent concern for Fēi Lín’s comment.

         Luke had centaurs waiting for them in a nearby forest. While the idea of seeing a satyr ride a centaur again was tempting, he couldn’t think of a way to convince Fēi Lín and Jack to take that alternative transportation. Hopefully the centaurs would be smart enough to follow Fēi Lín’s Jeep. With how often the centaurs enjoyed smashing their heads together, he doubted it.  

         He did not like the thought of getting into this chick’s car without knowing the plan.

         She didn’t wait to hear an answer. Fēi Lín started the engine and shifted the car out of the parking gear.

         Luke rushed over and hopped into the back. His pulse rushed, but… something about this felt right. Camp Half-Blood had almost been boring. He’d lost any control of his life, was not allowed to leave when he wanted, and was only able to supervise children and do chores that he hadn’t signed up for.

         This was liberating: he was back with people closer to his age—Phil excluded—taking initiative without Kronos’ goading, and unsure of what was going to happen next or where they were going.

         When Luke examined Jack’s freckles, bright eyes, band shirt, and painted nails, the nostalgia was overwhelming, like he was back to exploring with Annabeth and Thalia, and Grover, and they didn’t know what adventure stirred over the horizon.

***

Thank you for reading! I feel like Phil is a little too comfortable with half-baked corpses, but that’s just the kind of partner Luke needs. Ah, friendships based off mutual mental dysfunction <3

[phoenixyfriend]

Time Travel ft. Leia and Vader

(Helped by @atagotiak)

I was reading a bunch of different time travel fics, and my brain slotted in that one "Vader hands over the Empire to Leia and is now her most devoted sycophant" dynamic and mixed it with the "Luke and Vader time-travel and Vader does the right thing but only because it would make Luke sad if he didn't."

I landed on "Leia time travels to prequels era, but her least favorite family member has also traveled with her, though it takes him a few months to find her because he has less resources without the entire Imperial Navy, but he's still a scary Sith in all black with a breathing mask and intimidating cape."

"Tiny angry lady who wants to force democracy and her giant Sith father whom she hates but has resigned herself to pointing at threats like a tank who inexplicably loves her" is a delightful dynamic.

The first few months included a lot of concern about "why do you know so much about Sith if you're not trained or looking to be one" and then Vader shows up and calls her 'daughter' and she insults him and it's like "Oh. That explains it."

Council Member: We have a Sith in the Temple. Vader: Former Sith. Leia: Listen. He is your best chance against Sidious. Also, do you want Dooku dead? Vader can make him dead. Council Member: Your father i-- Leia, scrunching up her face: Don't call him that.

Like Leia is deep in conversation when the Temple starts panicking because Vader just. Showed up? He snuck in, somehow? So Palpatine wouldn't catch him on video entering through the front door? And people try to keep her away from the trouble, because there's an entire array of Jedi Masters to deal with this Surprise Sith, except she can sense exactly which Sith it is and once she shouts "oh you have got to be kidding me!" she just starts running and, well, it's Leia. Nobody can stop her.

(Leia does have less combat training, at least less force-assisted combat training, than the Jedi. But then the Jedi don’t want to hurt here here. She's not fighting her way down, either, she's just running really fast and all the best fighters already left. They had a head start. So Leia's mostly running past random padawans and the like.)

She shoves her way to the front of the group of Masters who. Well, they're certainly ready to attack. But Vader is just standing there. Doing nothing. Still intimidating as fuck but he's not doing anything.

And then Leia bursts onto the scene like "You motherfucker."

She hits her head on a clipboard and whines because UGH he's a walking WMD and they could REALLY use him against Palpatine but also. She hates him so much.

She tries to hand him off to the Jedi council but he insists that he will only take orders from Leia herself.

Jedi: Wait, what. Leia, completely ignoring them: Did you follow me here? Vader, through the mechanical wheezing: I have no loyalty to my master and no empire to serve. You are all that I have left. Leia: Me? Me? I'm all that you have left? You committed a genocide that killed all the family I had except for the twin brother you later mutilated! Jedi: Wait what Vader, going to one knee: I pledge my loyalty and blade to you and only you, daughter. Leia, ready to explode: I. I just. Jedi, some of whom really want to say things but are slowly realizing that they just accidentally acquired a Sith Lord by proxy: What. Leia: I hate you so much but I can't even get rid of you, you're too useful. Vader: I live to serve. Leia: Yeah. Got that. Fuck. Someone get him a full medical rundown, I don't know the last time that mess of a life support system was updated. Jedi, agitated again: WHAT Leia: Listen, I don't like him, but I'm not stupid enough to throw away the second most dangerous person in the universe when I can point him at the most dangerous person in the universe. Especially not if he's going to listen to me. Jedi: But... he's a Sith. Leia: Please trust me when I say this: you might be able to take him down eventually, but he will take dozens of you down with him, and right now he's... honestly, I'm pretty sure he's more depressed than malicious. Jedi: You hate him. I can feel it. Leia: Yes, but I can be professional about it. Vader: They have not yet d-- Leia: Nope! No talking! Not until I've had a chance to process this mess!

There is a whole lot of Leia snapping at Vader to stop it whenever he starts giving off vibes like he wants to take the most violent shortcut possible.

She is not the gentle hand that Luke would be.

Leia isn't a Jedi or working for them but she's wormed her way into being an ally. They don't 100% trust her, especially not with Vader just showing up and declaring her family but like

How do you say no to a WMD walking into your house and saying "I will fight the monster you cower from at night."

There's a lot of Leia snapping off an admonishment that sounds just a little too odd and then when questioned she just says "He knows what he did."

tbh I'm not sure how long it takes for them to tell anyone that Anakin is Vader. They might hold it off in hopes that Anakin can just retire to be Mr. Amidala after the war is over.

Well, Leia hopes. Vader just lets Leia make that call and then glowers at his younger self every time they're in the same room.

I do feel like Leia tells Obi-Wan the truth first

Imagine. Imagine a Vader who’s past still isn’t known. But has gotten somewhat comfortable around the Jedi (not really but the bar for what counts and comfortable for him is low). And Obi-Wan habitually banters with darksiders, right? If Vader’s guard is down for a moment and he, without thinking, references an inside joke...

Might be the most fun in terms of ways to tell Obi-Wan "We're time travelers and Vader is what happens if you let Palpatine drive Anakin off the edge"

If Vader has decided to pledge himself to her orders after destroying her planet, then fine. She can work with that. She's not going to be happy about it, but she can make it work.

The Jedi Temple hates having Vader anywhere nearby but he is actually very good at hiding himself from people, including Palpatine And for all that Leia seems perpetually irritated with her apparent bodyguard, he does seem to listen to her.

Jedi council: We still haven't figured out how to handle Dooku Leia: Do you know his location? Jedi council: Yes. Leia: [sigh] Leia: Vader, deal with it. Alive if possible.

(Leia does need to clarify an acceptable level of violence against the people protecting Dooku.) (She needs to clarify... many things.)

Leia always says "Vader" and one time a poor fool just asks why she doesn't call him dad and she snarls out "He is not the man that raised me, and I am glad for it."

Someone less foolish later prods more compassionately and she lets them know she was adopted and didn't properly meet Vader except in passing until she was nineteen.

"And then he tortured you." "And then he tortured me, yes." "Damn." "Didn't even find out we were related until a few years later when he chopped my brother's arm off." "You... wow." "I know."

At least one exchange that is L: You mean when you tortured me? A: He did what. V: I was not aware of our relation at that time. L: Not the point! I am fully aware of your interrogation methods and I refuse to let you be the one to acquire the evidence for-- A: Wait no go back he tortured you? L: Move on, please, we already have. A: That means I'm... oh Force, I'm going to torture my own daughter what in the actual fu-- L: We're moving on.

(“I end up torturing my own daughter” If Leia’s feeling especially spiteful I can see her saying “you mutilate your own son too”)

Concept: Leia is very free with traumatizing details of her past re:Vader and Anakin thinks that it sucks but doesn’t think much of it bc Sith. And then some time later he finds out...

(I love characters who use the traumatizing details of their past to shut down conversations.)

It's such a wonderfully horrifying concept for him to try to awkwardly comfort this girl he kind of knows because having a Sith for a dad sounds like it would suck and Leia seems nice, even if she's kind of weird and uncomfortable around Anakin, but he saw her flinch around a few other tall people wearing black robes the way she stiffens around Vader so maybe it's just that!

It is not.

Vader does get a significant amount of medical treatment. Including a bunch of "holy shit, that's a lot of drugs" and similar. There is so much lightning damage.

hnnng I'm just really in love with the image of Tiny Tiny Leia sitting behind a desk for some fancy negotiation, the picture of professionalism, while Vader just stands behind her shoulder, looming, glaring expressionless death at whoever came to speak with his baby girl.

Not that he would call her that, because she'd just hate him more and he's really not sure how to fix that problem, other than doing whatever she asks with no complaints and hoping she appreciates it.

Vader: [looks at children wandering by, has complicated emotions] Leia, tired of his shit: What now? Vader: I killed them, once. Leia, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath: And you're not going to do that again. No killing children. Vader: I know that. Leia: Great. I am... regretting asking. I am so very much regretting asking.

I do really like the idea of someone asking Leia once if she wants Jedi training and she says, no, actually, she's fully aware of the fact that she's angry little ball of hate sometimes, especially towards her bio father, and she'd like to refrain from putting herself in a position where she knows enough about the Force to Fall. She wouldn't Fall. But it does make people shut up.

[astaroth1357]

The Obey Me Cast on a Camping Trip (Part One: Brothers)

Hey guys, thank you sooo much for getting me to 2,000 followers!! I honestly don’t know what to say... I never dreamed that this little hobby of mine would reach so many eyes, and I can’t be more grateful. At a time in my life where things feel so chaotic and uncertain, being a part of this community and sharing my weird ideas has been what’s kept me going. It’s been such a rewarding experience all around, so thank you. From the bottom of my heart. 😊

I pulled out all the stops for this post. I even brought out one of my favorite songs of all time: Ao to Natsu by Mrs. GREEN APPLE to get the feel juuust right. I hope you all enjoy it!

This post is split in two due to length (I had too much fun again...) For the Undateables, please click HERE!

Intro:

Another day, another team building activity between the demons and the exchange students. It was Diavolo’s idea to go on a camping trip to the human world (because of course it was), and there were very… mixed responses. That sentiment wasn’t helped when he refused Lucifer’s insistent pleas to just purchase cabins for everyone to stay in. Oh no, the Demon Lord wanted to rough it out in the wilderness, and now everyone else was getting dragged along with him…

Wonder how that turned out?

Lucifer

Really, really, really tried to push Diavolo to just rent out cabins in but noooo, he wasn’t having it... So he ended up driving a van crammed with his brothers, the MC, and a butt-ton of camping equipment into the Alaskan wilderness… 

The car ride itself was insufferable… We’re talking, “I SWEAR I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND!!” level of antics every 10 miles or so (mostly from Mammon)…

Setting up camp was even more of a nightmare because about half of his brothers were utterly useless. The other half (save Satan) were completely clueless… Had it not been for Barbatos and Satan he probably would have just resigned himself to the mercy of the river’s currents and let it take him away…

He couldn’t even wear his usual clothes because of the situation… For the first time in who knows how many centuries, he was stuck wearing jeans… Diavolo even bought him several plaid shirts... (which he was not happy with btw because his brother wouldn’t stop making fun of the “new” him)

He had his own tent of decent-size, enough to move around in but nothing to write home about. The very fact he didn’t have to share was a luxury in itself, so he took it for what it was worth...

He spent a good portion of the trip focused on two things: keeping Diavolo happy and everybody else alive. He rarely left camp unless forced to; he just wanted to get it all over with as soon as possible…

If he did leave, it was because Diavolo would drag him along to fish or hike. He was... less than pleased to be called out of his tent at the crack of dawn or well past dusk to sit on a little rented fishing boat with Diavolo… but he didn’t exactly pick his friends so...

He rates the trip Too Much Trouble/10. Let’s never do it again.

Mammon

Wasn’t a massive fan of being stuck out in the wild, but Satan told him some made-up bullshit about buried treasure out in the forest and got him HOOKED. He even borrowed stole a whole bunch of mining/digging equipment just for the occasion!

He spent most of the car ride asking, “Are we there yet??” like a child. The MC had to step in to keep Lucifer from leaving him on the side of the road at multiple points during the journey... 

He was one of the utterly useless ones when it came to setting up camp. Someone charged him with putting up the twin’s tent, and he spent thirty minutes reading (then re-reading) the instructions while shouting expletives. Poor Simeon had to shield Luke from the vulgarity…

He has to share a tent with Levi, which neither of them liked. Mammon mainly because of Levi’s “old fish stink” and Levi because he feared catching “Mammon’s stupid.”

He was all jazzed up to go digging from Day One, though. He’d have breakfast, grab his shovel, then wander out into the middle of nowhere to go dig holes in the ground…

He also got completely lost on Day One, and it took the MC summoning him with their pact to return him to the group... By that time, he was filthy and somehow looked like he had been castaway for days (even though he was gone for like, three hours?)

When he stubbornly refused to stop digging, Lucifer resorted to just tying a rope around his ankle and letting him loose. It was up to Mammon to get back to camp before dinner, or else Lucifer would yank him back like he was on a leash.

Satan waited until the last day to finally tell Mammon the treasure was bullshit, and he was PISSED. He even threw Satan into the river, which resulted in the rest of the brothers joining in for a swim while the two tried to “playfully” drown each other.

He’d rate this trip 0/10 because he didn’t get any buried treasure. What a ripoff…

Leviathan

Hated the idea with a burning, seething passion. There’s no internet, cable, electricity, or phone signal out in the middle of nowhere! How the heck is an otaku supposed to survive?!

He clung to his electronics during the car ride until either they ran out of signal or their battery died, then he didn’t know what to do with himself… He resorted to reading several volumes of the manga he stuffed into his bag and clung to the MC for emotional support…

Yet another useless soul trying to put the camp together. He was in charge of his and Mammon’s tent but ended up almost crying in frustration… How the hell do humans do this all on their own?? Wasn’t he supposed to be the third strongest?! Why is he so pathetic?!? 😫

Hates sharing a tent with Mammon because he always wakes up to the second born encroaching on his space somehow… Poor baby is pretty much directly against the tent wall and STILL has to deal with legs and elbows in his side... 😰

Spends the majority of the trip moping in the tent... If he goes out there, he has to deal with the sun, bugs, and people… No thanks. He only leaves for meals and occasionally to go swimming. 

When he found out part of the way through that Barbs brought portable solar panels and a battery pack for Diavolo and Lucifer’s phones, he was livid. He demanded access to the power source, which Lucifer refused because “It would defeat the purpose of this trip.”

He’d have summoned Lotan right then and there, deadass in the middle of the forest, if the MC hadn’t intervened. He then went back to moping, but now at the bottom of the lake and it took a lot of coaxing to get him back out…

On the final day, he was packing up the camp before anyone else even woke up. He wanted OUT and back to civilization ASAP. Bedroom here he comes!

Satan

You wouldn’t think of Satan as an outdoorsy guy. Still, he has shades of a survivalist in him (mostly because he’s read a lot of guides and was looking for an excuse to use them for a loooong time).

He read for the majority of the ride. He was squished between Asmo and Levi, which was reasonably peaceful. But he did end up shouting at Mammon quite a bit towards the end because “NO, we’re not there yet, peabrain!!”

He actually wasn’t a waste of space when setting up the camp, and between him, Barbs, and Lucifer, they were able to get a lot of stuff set up before sundown. He did have to bark a few orders to the others here and there, but overall competency won out in the end.

He shared a tent with Asmo, and the two made it work well enough… Except when Asmo did things like spraying his perfumes and dry shampoos, making it practically impossible to breathe in for a few minutes…

Spent a lot of the first few days reinforcing the camp to a ridiculous degree.

Did he have to collect large branches to build an exterior fence around the campsite? No. But he did.

Did he have to set up a water distillation system using some of the materials Barbs had lying around the “kitchen?” No. But he did.

Did he have to weave a series of fishing nets to catch them lunch from the lake and river? I think you get the point by now.

Only once he built pretty much every contraption or improvement he could think of, did he go back to just reading and relaxing by the fire.

By the time the group was ready to leave, Satan had somehow managed to craft them a veritable, self-sustaining fortress in the middle of the Alaskan wilds…

Overall he would rate the trip as… meh. Next time give him a challenge like a deserted island or an actual desert, and then he’ll really see what he can do.

Asmodeus

Was about as unhappy with the idea as Levi was… It wasn’t that he disliked the outdoors per se, it was just that no one, NO ONE, pulls off looking flawless after several days stuck in a tent!

He chatted the entire car ride from start to finish. He never stopped talking. It made for decent background noise at least…

Was one of the more clueless ones when trying to set up camp and pretty just did what he was ordered. The second he was left to try and figure something out on his own, he went to Lucifer or Satan for help because NOPE. Human equipment is needlessly complicated sometimes…

He had to share a tent with Satan, which in theory shouldn’t have been that bad, but Satan was out basically all day in the sun doing who knows what and would always come back sweaty and gross! At some points, he had to chase his brother out of the tent until he dunked himself in the river or something. No way was Asmo sleeping next to that. 😤

Asmo took the second-longest to get up and get ready in the morning. Sometimes he wouldn’t even leave the tent until well past breakfast just in an attempt to salvage his hair and skin… He only got grouchier about it as the trip went on… 😥

A more… earthy looking Asmo is kind of a bizarre sight. He’s still attractive, no doubt, but it’s less like polished glamour and more like Hollywood humble. He spent the majority of the trip looking like a somewhat dirtied movie-star (which he still insisted was the worst he’s ever looked in ages).

Aside from salvaging his looks, he actually enjoyed taking pictures of their surroundings or of the group (but not himself). He sometimes forgot how genuinely breathtaking the human world could be…

….but his patience for the place wore out quickly once he started noticing his hair getting greasy. He was right next to Levi, packing up the site once it was finally time to leave. At least those two finally found something they could agree on, let’s get the fuck out already! 

Beelzebub

He was really curious about trying camping food and pretty excited that Barbatos was coming, too (because that meant great food in general).

Unfortunately, Lucifer had to stop the van at basically every gas station they passed for Beel could refill on snacks… Belphie ended up getting buried in wrappers pretty often, but he was asleep, so it didn’t matter much.

Beel did a lot of the heavy lifting when setting the camp up, but the finer details were left up to everybody else. He had his hands full getting stuff off the cars as is…

Of course, he shared a tent with Belphie, and there wasn’t much complaint between them. Honestly, there would have been more drama if they were split, so this was the better option.

After the MC told Beel about fishing and how it could net him more food, if he did it right, he knew exactly what he wanted to do during the trip.

… But no one told him how long and slow the process would be. There were points he’d get so hungry he’d consider eating the bait himself…

That was until about Day Three of the trip when they passed by a river full of grizzly bears… He was about to ask the MC why the bears were all standing in the water, but then he saw a fish practically leap directly into one’s mouth…

Beel had discovered his true calling.

Of course, the grizzlies didn’t take too kindly to a demon suddenly sprinting into the water with them. They tried to fight him off, but Beel just tossed most of them downstream without any issue until they realized who the apex predator really was…

After forming a shaky truce with the bears, Beel would stand in the water for hours then come back with whole baskets full of salmon… There were far more fish than Barbatos knew what to do with, so he’d just confiscate a few then let Beel eat the rest...

The MC shuddered to think about what Beel had done to the local salmon population… But he was full and happy for most of the trip, so he had a great time!

Belphegor

Sleep for him isn’t too contingent on location, so the idea of camping wasn’t terrible. It did sound like a lot of hassle for no good reason, though…

He spent the entire car ride asleep, head and cow pillow pressed up against the window and everything. It wasn’t the most comfortable experience, but he’d dealt with worse.

He was utterly useless when putting up the camp by choice, thank you. He had more than enough sense to get things put together; he just didn’t want to. If he wasn’t asked to do something by Beel or the MC, he’d just lay back in the grass and smugly watch everybody else struggle…

Again, he and Beel are in the same tent, and you wouldn’t hear any complaints out of him. He did start to have some second thoughts when Beel began getting a fishy smell, though, so he tried to bunk with the MC in their tent for a while.

Like Levi, Belphie didn’t leave the tent much during the daylight hours, but that was because he was still asleep… There was no good way to wake him with no alarms available, so he’d sleep in past lunch easily.

When he was awake, he didn’t leave camp very much except to walk with the MC or watch Beel fishing grizzly-style.

Eventually, Asmo and Diavolo got sick of him dodging their photos, so they’d started posing him Weekend at Bernie’s style around the camp (always conveniently propped up by something and with sunglasses on)

Something Belphie did like, however, was the nighttime. Since there were no lights around, he could practically see everything the sky had to offer. He could spend hours laying on his back long after everyone else had gone to bed just admiring the stars.

All in all, not a terrible trip. Anything that could give him that view like that was well worth it. 6/10, would sleep again.

Click HERE for Part Two. Check out my Masterlist for more!

[dontshootmespence]

Home Again

Summary: Spencer and Luke are happily married when the world goes to shit. In the chaos, they’re separated. After years, each one presumes the other dead. Until one day.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Luke Alvez

Word Count: 3,564

Warning: Zombie apocalypse shit. Character deaths. 

A/N: This fulfills my apocalypse au square for @cmbingo​. 

Inside their mid-size apartment, Luke dances to his favorite music as he moves about the kitchen, getting dinner ready for when Spencer comes home. A medical researcher’s work was never really done, but in the years since they’d gotten married, Spencer made a commitment to be home by every night at 6PM unless they discussed otherwise. 

Turning on the nightly news, Luke saw what looked like a pretty severe car accident on the road that Spencer normally took on the way home. He pulled out his phone and dialed, hoping to give his husband a head’s up about the driving conditions, but it went straight to voicemail. “Hey, Spence, it’s me. I mean, of course it’s me,” he laughed. “But anyway, I’m working on dinner now and I just saw the news. There’s a big accident on I-275 so you might want to take another way home if you can. I’ll see you in a little bit. Love you.”

As Luke slipped the chicken into the pot, he heard what sounded like another car wreck and ran to the window, sticking his head out to see a car on its side and one man running clumsily after another. A knock at the door distracted him from the damage on the street below. 

“Luke, it’s Steven. Open up.”

Steven was their neighbor and a college student. They rarely ever spoke. “Steven, what’s wrong?”

“There’s something wrong, man. People are going crazy out there. They’re attacking each other and...and eating each other. It’s like there are...”

Luke couldn’t help but laugh. “Do not say zombies. There’s no such thing, kid.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Steven insisted. “Something is happening. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll pack up some essentials and get moving. Apparently, it started at the Recovered Exploration Lab downtown and people, zombies, whatever they are, they’re headed this way. I just wanted to give you a heads up.”

Steven sped down the stairs in a panic, leaving Luke’s focus to drift back to the television. “We’re here just above Recovered Exploration Lab where the breakout of what looks like zombies seems to have started,” the news anchor started. “On the ground, people are ripping and tearing and eating each other in what seems to be a real-life apocalypse, folks. At this time we don’t know what caused it, but we can assume that the staff at Recovered Exploration have been keeping secrets. This is WLVW Channel 2 News. Back to you in the studio.”

Luke couldn’t believe what he was hearing and ran back to the window to see even more people than before ambling down the street. Cursing under his breath, he pulled out his phone again and dialed Spencer again. “Spence, have you heard what’s on the news? Are they talking about it on the radio? They’re saying it’s a real life zombie apocalypse out there and I’m, I’m, I’m, uh, looking out the window and people are attacking each other. There’s a swarm of people heading toward the apartment so I’m grabbing some essentials for us. Meet me at our diner okay? Then we can figure out what to do. Be safe, Spence. I love you.”

Running into their bedroom, Luke grabbed the biggest backpack he could find and anything he thought they might need. Spare clothes, toiletries, canned food, a can opener, toilet paper, some sharp knives and his guns from work. “What else?” He spoke into the empty room. On the wall hung their favorite picture from their wedding. He and Spencer wore matching tuxes and walked hand in hand along a lit-up, tree-lined path. Lost in thought, the commotion brought him back. He stuffed the picture into the backpack and ran downstairs, hoping that this was all a dream.

----

Having heard both of Luke’s messages, Spencer took an alternative route home, but unfortunately, he ran into another accident, slamming on the brakes as two cars crashed into stopped cars in front of them. With traffic at a standstill, he pulled his phone out and tried to call Luke. Obviously, there had to be another explanation for what was happening. 

As he was about to try calling for a second time, he saw someone in the wreckage ahead, who he’d previously assumed to be dead, jerk back to life. Slowly, she go up from the ground and shuffled toward an office that had his back turned. When an ear-shattering scream resounded through the air, Spencer dropped his phone. She wasn’t the only one.

A man from a nearby car knocked on Spencer’s window. “Buddy, we need to get out of here. You have anything that might help?” 

“Like what?” Spencer asked, voice quivering as he picked up his phone from the car floor and shoved it back in his pocket. Quickly, he searched the car for anything that might be helpful. His keys.

“Anything in the trunk?” The man asked, grabbing Spencer’s arm and yanking him away from the incoming crowd. “We need to move now.” 

His mind had blanked. After grabbing the emergency preparedness bag from the trunk of the car that Luke insisted he have, he and the unnamed man ran over the highway barrier and away from the traffic. “I need to get to the diner on Jones and Washington,” Spencer said. “Do you know it? My husband said to meet him there.”

Staring back into the growing see of screaming and ambling bodies, the man replied. “I don’t think you’re going that way, kid.”

----

Stumbling down into the street they lived on, Luke looked around in horror. He ran. He ran as hard and as fast as his body would allow, staying clear of any of the infected like his life depended on it. Right now, it did. 

Luke wavered between walking and running in the general direction of the diner he knew so well. For five years, every Friday, he and Spencer would head there for a greasy burger and fries and some of the best milkshakes either of them had ever tasted. 

The farther he traveled from the apartment, the less insanity he seemed to encounter, but still, his heart beat with reckless abandon as he peered around every corner. If whatever this was didn’t get resolved soon, every street, every city, every state would be something to fear. No longer would he and Spencer be able to go to the local park and bask in the sun. No more walks on the beach. No more calm and colorful sunsets. “You’re getting ahead of yourself,” he muttered to himself. “Just get to the diner.”

Using landmarks to guide his way (so that he could keep his phone on and pray for a call from Spencer), he crossed what he believed was the halfway point between the apartment and the restaurant. They now lived in a world where people ate each other and rose from the dead, but it was the groups of human beings taking this whole situation as a free for all that he had to avoid most of all. 

As he hurriedly turned the corner, Luke bumped into a group of nervous but determined young adults. The youngest couldn’t have been 16 and the oldest topped 25 at the most. By the looks of the straggling adults, most of them had already lost someone or taken this new world as an excuse to ditch their families and fend for themselves. The most self-assured of the bunch stepped in toward Luke and looked at his bag. “Seems like you’re well stocked.”

“For a couple days,” he replied, carefully taking a small step backward. “For my spouse and I until this whole thing blows over.” He spoke the words, but something told him ‘this whole thing’ wasn’t going to be over anytime soon. 

With each step Luke took back, the young man stepped forward and tried to yank the bag from his grasp. “Sorry, kiddo. That ain’t happening.” Before the other man could swing his gun from his back and into his hand, Luke had his pulled and aimed. “Don’t. I don’t wanna hurt people. You walk away. I’ll walk away and we’ll pretend this never happened.”

The next moments passed by in a blur - kids running, bullets flying. Luke didn’t glance back, running away from the screams and toward the diner with tears in his eyes. He just shot a kid. A kid who was just trying to survive in whatever the hell this new world was. 

----

Days passed before Spencer and his party of misfits arrived at the diner. Jim was the man that shook him to reality. On the way they’d also run into a single mother named Avery and her 3-year-old son, Chase, who were being harassed by a couple of guys who just didn’t want to take no for an answer. Although they tried to resolve things peacefully, Jim killed the one that pulled a gun on him and the other ran away. From there, they all went to Jim’s former precinct and grabbed whatever guns they could find. Unlike Luke, Spencer wasn’t used to holding guns, but he was going to have to get accustomed quickly.

Normally, the diner looked reminiscent of the 50s. Crisp black and white checkered floors, red leather seats, clean white tables and chrome chairs at similarly colored bar-tops. Now there were skid marks on the floors, dinged counters and bits of food all over the floor. The kitchen had already been ransacked so very little decent food was left, but they stocked up on what they could and waited. 

Nearly a week went by before Jim insisted they leave. “I know your husband was going to meet you here, Spencer, but if we stay any longer we’re putting ourselves in danger. We don’t wanna use all our gunpower to defend this place when we can’t stay here.”

Spencer knew he was right, but the thought of leaving hurt his heart. “I’m never going to see my husband again, am I, Jim?”

The older man just looked at him sadly, resting his hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “Call him. You’ve still got a little power left. Leave a message. And hope for the best. I’ll give you a minute before we head out.” 

Spencer thanked him softly and went into the back room before pulling out the phone. Shakily, he dialed Luke one more time. “Hey, babe. I’ve been at the diner for almost a week. I don’t know what happened to you...or,” his voice broke, “or if you’re even still alive, but if you are, I’m headed toward my mother’s nursing home. I need to see if she’s okay. I have no idea if we’re ever going to see each other again. I hope we are. But if we aren’t, I need you know that the years we’ve been together, the years we’ve been married, they’ve been the best and happiest of my life. Studying what I study, it can suck the life out of you, but seeing you in the mornings, the sun shining on your face, it gave me that little push I needed to go do what I do. You changed my life, Luke. I love you so much. If you’re out there, and you can’t get to me, just know that, I love you with everything I have.”

Quickly, he ended the call and shoved the phone back in his pocket before breaking down sobbing. He allowed himself a few minutes and then met Jim, Avery and Chase outside. They’d all agreed to head in the direction of his mother’s nursing home. Spencer prayed that Luke and his mother were still alive. And safe.

----

After shooting the kid, Luke ran into a building a melted down. Sure, he’d had to shoot people before. He’d killed people before. But this was different. This was practically a kid whose only crime was trying to look out for the group he was with. Between dodging zombies and dodging other people, it took Luke almost two full weeks to get to the diner, but by the time he arrived, if Spencer had been there, he was gone. 

Despite the possibility of nearby zombies or walkers or whatever he’d heard people calling them, Luke screamed at the top of his lungs and lost it. Without finding him here, there was no guarantee that they were ever going to see each other again. In his search for any salvageable supplies, he came across random papers, broken glass, ripped bandages - but nothing of use. 

When he glanced down at the floor, he saw Spencer’s signature and hurriedly picked it up, but the other pieces of whatever note he left were too ripped up and dirty and stepped on for him to make out what it said. As his fingers slid over his husband’s name, a tear fell from his eye. If Spencer was still alive, he was likely headed in the direction his mother lived. 

“Hello?” A small voice broke Luke from his train of thought. He spun around, his hand on the gun in his holster. “Please don’t hurt me,” the girl said. Dirt and dried blood covered her face and her eyes conveyed a lifetime of hurt. “Please.”

Luke lowered his gun. “How old are you?”

“Fourteen.”

Luisa had been right in the eye of the storm at the start of this whole thing weeks earlier. “My papa died trying to save my mama. And then she was bitten trying to save my sister and I. She saved me, but it was too late for Josephine. My mother lost too much blood. She fell asleep and never woke up and I had to- I had to put her out of her misery. I’m all alone.”

“Not anymore, kiddo. “You’ll stay with me.”

“Thank you - “

“Luke.”

“Thank you, Luke.”

----

The weeks that followed put Spencer’s band of misfits went through the ringer. After detouring around a group of people that would’ve outnumbered them three to one had they decided they wanted trouble, they had to fight their way through a hoard of walkers. Though they had few weapons, they managed, but not without Jim being bitten. 

“Kid, you know without a medic around this tourniquet is just stopping the inevitable. The bastard nicked my brachial artery,” Jim said, heavily drawing in each breath as it came to him. “You’ve got to take the weapons and keep those two safe for as long as you can. Maybe find your husband again.”

Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat. “I could go find-”

“No way. There’s a hoard at our backs and only Lord knows what up ahead. I won’t have you risking that for me.”

Over and over again, Spencer tried to reason with him, but in a way Jim was right. He had no idea what was up ahead and even if he found a medic there was no guarantee that he’d get back in time to save Jim. “I’m sorry,” Spencer said, placing a handgun in his palm. “I really am.”

“I know, kid. I have you find your husband again. Now get going.”

Once Spencer grabbed the weapons Jim had, he gathered up Avery and Chase and headed out into the unknown. A gunshot rang out and the crows fled into the sky. Hope was waning fast.

----

On their way to Diana’s nursing home, Spencer, Avery and Chase faced no further challenges. As soon as they detected voices, they headed away from them, preferring to stay in their small group of three than risk bringing other people into their ranks. They crossed the occasional zombie, but they were quickly dispatched.

Finally, they reached Diana’s home, but they were too late. Spencer found her alive, but too bloodied and bruised to move. “Mom, I’ll find someone. I won’t let you die,” Spencer said softly as he cried. “I can find someone to help and we can get you out of here.”

Diana was nothing if not a realist. “I’m going to die, Spencer. Soon probably. I just hope I can keep my wits about me until the sleep sets in. How’s Luke? Where is he? Is he-?”

“I don’t know,” Spencer sobbed. “You really want to talk about my life right now?’

“Yes. When I first saw this on the news, I thought I was having a nightmare, but it’s real and it’s unreal and I just want a sense of normalcy.”

Spencer radioed Avery to tell her where he was before curling in next to his mother. “I was on my way home from work when this all started. Luke was home. I-I haven’t seen him since and I don’t think I’m ever going to see him again. Mom, I’m so scared of being alone.”

“You’ll find him again,” Diana said weakly. 

“How do you know?”

“A mother knows. Remember?”

Spencer grabbed her hand and started reading the nearest book he could find. “Spencer...” she said, whisper soft. “It’s time for me to go to sleep.”

“No, mom, just a little bit longer.”

“Promise me something.”

“Anything.”

Diana fought for each breath. “Don’t let me turn into one of those things.”

Spencer choked out a sob. “I won’t.”

“And stay hopeful.” 

He promised he would, though he wasn’t sure it was a promise he could keep. “Mom?”

Nothing.

Before she could come back, he took a small gun out of his pocket, aimed, and fired. “I’ll try, Mom.”

----

Days passed into weeks passed into months passed into years. In a world changed, it changed those within in. Luke, once a confident and self-assured government agent, turned inward, going from one “safe haven” to another and sheltering himself and Luisa until their hideaway was discovered and they needed to move on, never once fighting for a place to call a makeshift home.

Through the years he lost himself, finding that instead of helping others, he did only what he had to do for he and Luisa to survive, never once taking a life, only dispatching zombies when need be. 

On the other hand, Spencer found himself hardening against the world. More than a year after everything began, Avery was overtaken by a hoard they passed, shoving Chase out of the crowd and toward Spencer. With her last breaths, she begged Spencer to take care of her son. Five years later, he and the almost nine-year-old boy headed a group of nearly 50 people, though numbers dwindled and rose from month to month. 

Spencer became a leader, but he confided in no one, killed if it was necessary to defend his “home”, and rarely spoke, shutting down in the face of any emotional connection. To connect was to lose, and he had lost enough. 

“Daniel and Alexa, you’ll accompany me into town for some supplies.” In addition to defending the makeshift community they’d developed, Spencer always sent out scouts to ensure that no one touched the supplies in surrounding towns. Less-looted stores were low in number and eventually he would need to conduct another reconnaissance mission to find supplies, but for now they would survive. “We leave within the hour.”

Smiles were few and far between, for Spencer more than most. However, the little boy he’d ended up raising as his son brought him a sliver of joy, along with his memories of Luke. They coaxed him to sleep at night and in the morning, he used them to make it through the day. “Chase, you know I love you, right?”

“I do, Spencer. Be careful okay? I can’t lose you.”

“I’ll be back.” He never promised, knowing more than most that sometimes the world was cruel. “Be good for Sandra.”

Though he was born before the world went to shit, Chase had essentially grown up in this new world. He was disciplined and trustworthy and more an adult than any almost nine-year-old boy should ever have to be.

On the way to gather supplies, Spencer zoned out, only gathering little bits of the conversation going on behind him. Both Daniel and Alexa had lost spouses at the start of the apocalypse and something told Spencer they were seeking comfort in one another now that they were “safe.” Funny how the meaning of a word could change in such a short amount of time.

While out for supplies, Spencer had insisted that no one go anywhere alone, so the three entered the hardware store in search of anything they could use as a weapon. As he gathered ropes and zip ties and wrenches into his supply bag, he heard Alexa and Daniel call for him. “Boss!”

Spencer approached the two, their guns raised and ready to fire. In the line of sight was a young woman, sheltered by a man. He closed his eyes and begged the universe for this not to be a joke, his mind playing tricks on him. When Spencer opened his eyes, he remained. “Luke?”

He smiled and immediately broke into tears. “Spence? You’re, you’re-”

Pushing past Daniel and Alexa, Spencer ran into Luke’s arms on the verge of tears, pressing his lips to his husband’s for the first time in nearly seven years. “I’m alive. And you’re here. How are you here?”

“Because I’m a different person. You?”

“Me too,” Spencer said sadly. “Everything’s changed. Except what I feel for you. I’m finally home again.”

[vgilantee]

The Manager || Platonic! Sunset Curve x Reader

Requested by anon

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: the guys swear because nobody can tell me that a bunch of 17 year olds in a rock band in the 90’s didn’t swear. I know i said fluff but i had an angst idea and it was too good not to add (i’m sorry). and while i don’t bother with adjusting to the american spelling most of the time, I did for ‘mom’ and ‘flavor’ and i hated it every time i typed it. final note: if i were to do more parts it would become a series rewrite, so if that’s something that interests you, let me know!

Warnings: character death, unhappy home life (no details)

While being the manager for Sunset Curve often felt closer to being a parent sometimes, it’s not a job you would trade for the world. Well, less a job because you weren’t really getting paid, but it was a good gig. You got to see some awesome venues and other small musicians, you quite often got free food from venues, and of course, got to hang out with your favourite boys. They gave you a place in the world, somewhere where you felt at home. They were family. Plus, Luke had graciously allowed you to crash in the studio with him when things got bad at home. 

You swing the door open, duffle bag over your shoulder, and march into the studio. It’s late, again, but your parents had started going off while you were trying to study and your father had mentioned your name, so you grabbed the emergency bag and climbed out the window. Luke looks up from his page and watches as you drop the bag on the ground and flop face down on the sofa. 

“Again?” You hum and nod into the pillow before flipping onto your back. 

“Dad said my name and mentioned something about grades and the band and I left before they could drag me into it further.” You glance over to see he has closed his journal and is resting his forearms on the acoustic in his lap. 

“Smart move.” You laugh and shift again to lay on your side. “The guys are in the house getting food by the way.” As if on queue, Reggie walks in with a stack of pizza boxes, Bobby has his arms full of bags of various snacks, and Alex is carrying an open cooler full of bottles of soda. 

“Oh hey, Y/N!” Alex raises the fingers on one hand in a wave before putting the cooler on the ground in front of the sofa. 

“Parents again?” Bobby gives you a sympathetic look before dropping the bags next to the pizza boxes Reggie had put on the coffee table. 

“Yep!” You pop the ‘p’ sound with false enthusiasm.

“You may as well just move in at this point.” Luke says it like a joke, but it’s been a joke for so long that you all know he says it seriously.

“You know what?” You sit up quickly and give a short nod. “My parents both have work tomorrow, you lot are gonna help me grab what I need.” It was that simple. The boys all make varying statements of agreement before sitting on the miscellaneous chairs around the coffee table. 

--

Luke had suggested you all dress in black for the heisting of your belongings, and as Alex was the only voice of reason, you all ended up head-to-toe in black. 

“Shh.” Luke whips around and presses a finger to his lips when you swing the door shut behind the group.

“There is literally nobody home Luke. And also this is my house. We don’t need to be quiet.” You gesture around the entrance with your hands as you speak, and Luke turns around and pulls the black beanie he insisted you wear, down over your eyes. You swat him away and he shushes Reggie as he laughs at you.

“It’s a heist! You gotta be quiet.” You roll your eyes after putting the beaning back in place on your head, before walking towards the staircase. “Everyone remember the plan?” Turning around you fold your arms and roll your eyes again. 

“School stuff.” Bobby salutes Luke, who nods. 

“Blankets and pillows!” Reggie copies Bobby’s salute, and is also nodded at. Alex rolls his eyes, and with far less enthusiasm holds his hand in a salute.

“Stuffing and zipping up bags.” Luke nods once more then turns to you with an expectant look. 

“Toiletries and underwear.” He taps his foot and clears his throat dramatically, staring at you, waiting. “Oh, right.” You salute him as well.

“And I’m on clothes!” You hear the noise of his hand hitting his forehead as he salutes with a bit too much force. “And if we hear the ‘rents, we move to Y/N’s room as quietly as possible, where we will finish packing what we have and bail out the window. Let’s move out!” You aren’t sure if he expected you all to go separate ways, but you move as a group up the stairs and into your room so that everyone can collect bags. Bobby takes your school bag, Reggie a duffle bag, and Luke and Alex reef a suitcase out from the top of your wardrobe. You swing a drawstring bag over your shoulder as you watch Luke nearly drop the suitcase on Alex, who promptly swears at him. 

With a final salute, you all part ways. You hear Bobby thundering down the stairs as you walk over to the bathroom, rolling our eyes at him. Grabbing your toiletries, including spare deodorants and toothpastes, before moving back into your bedroom where your drawers have been pulled open and clothes are being tossed onto the bed by Luke. You can only watch in horror and amazement as your clothes are thrown out of the drawers, and Alex folds them at an incredible speed. You want to ask him how he is folding them so quickly, but you don’t want to break his concentration. Instead you move to the unopened drawer and collect all your underwear, shoving it into the bag in your hands on top of the items already in the bag. You grab your hairbrush, adding it to the bag, before pulling the strings on the bag and closing it. 

“Need a hand, Alex?” He looks up after placing a folded shirt neatly in the suitcase. He opens his mouth to respond but instead snorts as you are hit in the head with a pair of jeans.

“Shit, sorry!” You pull the jeans from over your shoulder and glare at Luke, who has his hands covering his mouth.

“Screw you.” You flip him off, then fold the jeans and place them in the suitcase. 

The three of you managed to empty all your drawers and were in the process of sorting out what heavier jackets to take from your closet when you hear a door close, followed by thundering feet. The door is swung open and Bobby leans against the doorframe. 

“Mother.” Is all he manages to get out before Reggie tries to push past him and they both tumble into your room, making a thump as they land. 

“Shhh!” You and Luke push your index fingers to your lips, shushing the guys at the same time, but it’s too late.

“Y/N?” You all freeze as your mom calls out for you. You turn to the guys, left index finger still pushed to your mouth, as you point to the window with quick and sharp motions. They all nod and collect the bags and suitcases (a second was grabbed at some point in their packing) and move to the window. You don’t want your mom to know you are home to avoid whatever argument will undoubtedly occur, hence the attempt at silence, but when Reggie drops the suitcase he’s carrying with a echoing thud, you realise that won’t be possible.

“Shit. I’ll meet you at the car. Go!” You whisper harshly at the guys as he raises his hand to apologise and you leave your room, shutting the door behind you to hopefully muffle any more noises they make and buy them some more time. “Yeah mom?” Your mom waits at the bottom of the stairs, arms folded, as you make your way down. “What’s up?” You try to mask your anxiety about the whole situation by leaning against the railing.

“Don’t ‘what’s up’ me. You disappeared last night, and while I know you were at the studio with the band, you could have at least called to let me know that you were okay. Because really I didn’t know for sure because you didn’t call! You could have even called me this morning to say you were coming home. I had no way of knowing if you were safe, or, or, or if something had happened. I didn’t know!” 

“Mom-” You try to say something to calm her down but she interrupts, clearly not finished with her lecture.

“And you’re letting your grades slip! Running around with those stupid boys in that stupid band. You say you’re their manager, but it’s not a job and it’s definitely not a career! You need to pay more attention to class instead of going to clubs and venues with them. Which isn’t safe! Running around Hollywood with those four idiots in the middle of the night, sometimes not even coming home. There are all kinds of dangerous people out there and with no adult supervision anything could happen!” 

“Mom!”

“No. Your father isn’t right about a lot of things but he’s definitely right about not letting you see them again. Being friends with them is dangerous, not because they are, but because none of you have any common sense or self preservation!” 

“Mom, enough.” You rarely stood up to her, and you had never scolded her before, but calling the only four people that truly felt like family ‘idiots’ was the last straw. “I know it isn’t a job, but they are my best friends, and I enjoy going to those venues! I know it could be dangerous but the five of us are always together. My grades haven’t slipped, except maybe a couple of classes by one or two percent. But it’s not going to ruin me. And-”  The door slams shut and you look up quickly from your mother to see your father in the door. 

“Y/N.” Your father speaks very even and monotone, and his moves are all calculated. But his hands are clenched and his eyebrows are furrowed.

“Hi dad.” It was overly formal, and your brain screams at you to run, run from this conversation. But you can’t. You need to make sure the guys are as far away as possible, hopefully even at the car. You don’t think your father would track them down to stop you, but you don’t want to tell your parents you are leaving, and really you weren’t actually sure he wouldn’t track them down and drag you home. “How was work?” Poking the bear was very stupid.

“You disappeared last night, didn’t bother to leave a note or anything and scared the shit out of your mother!” You flinch slightly as he raises his voice. “You won’t be seeing that ridiculous band ever again, I can promise you that.” You glance at the clock and quickly decide that the guys have had enough time to get to Bobby’s car parked in the next street over. So you nod along in faux understanding. “You’re grounded, and you will spend the rest of the night until dinner studying.” You scoff and try to act pissed off, storming back up the stairs. To add to the act, you slam the door shut behind you, before grabbing a hoodie and climbing out the window.

You sneak around the house, watching your parents carefully as they move to the living room. They seem to be arguing again, almost certainly about you. You hop the fence into the neighbours yard then book it down the street to the waiting car. The engine is going and the second Reggie sees you, the windows are rolled down and they are yelling at you to hurry up, Bobby leaning over to open the passenger-side door. You laugh as you dive into the passenger seat. The door is barely shut when Bobby revs the engine and you drive away, a rock song from a mixtape you had made Bobby for his birthday playing loudly through the speaker and the five of you singing along and laughing. 

--

“Boys I have excellent news!” Wrong notes are played and a drumstick is dropped as you fling open the door with a piece of paper in your hand. 

“Christ, Y/N.” Bobby places a hand to his heart as Alex leans down to pick back up his drumstick.

“What’s the news?” Luke places his guitar on a stand and slides over to you. 

“Sit sit!” You gesture your boys towards the sofa on the opposite wall. “I won’t just tell you, there’s no fun in that!” They groan but comply, squashing together on the sofa, Alex with his legs over Luke’s, Reggie sitting cross-legged with his feet under him, and Bobby putting his feet up on the coffee table. 

“Well?” Luke leans forward over Alex’s feet and rests his elbows on his knees. 

“As you know I have been going around to potential venues to get you guys a show that isn’t in a bar that perpetually smells like puke, while you are playing your puke-scented shows and writing new hits.”

“Yeah.” They all reply at the same time and your smile grows.

“And I am also the best manager in the world, especially because of the fact that I am your manager.”

“Yeah yeah. Just tell us.”

“Bobby, quiet. I am building suspense.” Reggie swats his arm as if to say ‘yeah Bobby’. “Anyway. You also know that you are all incredibly talented and you will become the biggest band every.” The guys are all leaning forward and staring at you, waiting for you to finally tell them what news you’ve bought. “Alex, drumroll.” He immediately complies with an enthusiastic drumroll on Luke’s back. “You’re playing the Orpheum!” You throw your hands up as the guys all jump up and celebrate. “Are you serious?” Bobby grabs the piece of paper with the show contract as Reggie picks himself up off the floor after tripping over his feet trying to stand. 

“How did you do that?” Luke is jumping on the sofa and Alex is shaking you by the shoulders. 

“I’m just that good.” You manage so say through the laughing and shaking. 

--

“Size beautiful.” You roll your eyes as Alex groans and Reggie hands the poor bartender the shirt and demo. 

“Thanks.” She laughs as she holds up the Sunset Curve shirt before tossing it over her shoulder.

“I am so sorry about him.” You say genuinely to her, stood between Reggie and Luke.

“No worries. I’ll make sure not to wipe the table down with this one.” She offers them all a polite smile that you can tell is a forced customer service smile.

“Oh, good call. Whenever they get wet, they just kinda fall apart in your hands.” Alex gestures with his hands and you hear Bobby sigh.

“Don’t you guys have to go get hotdogs?” Oh? You realise that Bobby very likely wants to flirt with Bartender Rose and is trying to get rid of you all, finding his bandmates embarrassing sometimes. Luke pushes him back and nudges you with his shoulder as he leans over the bar, giving it a quick drum with his hands.

“Yeah, he had a hamburger for lunch.” He bounces then walks away, and Reggie shoves his shoulder.

“See you before the show.” You elbow him as you follow after Luke and Reg, and Alex bounces to catch up to you.

--

You eye the hotdog as it is handed over to you. You trust the guys but you don’t trust this hotdog ‘vender’ who is the sauce bottle sitting in his engine. You watch as Alex tells him that he spilt pickle juice into the car as you add sauces and toppings to your own. The vender says that it will help and laughs as Alex sputters, looking at you mumbling about how that doesn’t sound right. 

--

“That’s a new flavor.” You nod, continuing to chew as Alex says what you are thinking through a mouth full of hotdog.

“Relax,” Reggie looks over at him, “street dogs haven’t killed us yet.” The logic is sound enough so you all take another bite. 

-- 

You stomach hurt, god it hurt. It was like being punched in the gut over and over again, and your stomach was turning, and with every breath in your sides hurt. You could hear Reggie and Alex groaning over your own noises, but you couldn’t hear Luke anymore. You felt the tears rolling down the sides of your face but you couldn’t move your hands away from your stomach. You barely heard the paramedics arrive over the sound of the blood rushing through your ears, and while you could hear them talking you couldn’t decipher words. 

You let out a sob as a paramedic leans over you. You barely register being lifted onto an ambulance bed, but you turn your head and watch as Alex is lifted into one. As they wheel you out you see a black bag being zipped up. 

You feel light headed as they lift you into the ambulance and you hear Reggie gulp in a breath, before the paramedics swarm over to him. Alex is wheeled in next to you and you see his hand reach out to you. You forcefully peel your hand away from your stomach and hold his hand. You squeeze your eyes shut and hear the paramedic sigh, defeated. You let out a groan, then a sob, and squeeze Alex’s hand as you struggle to breathe. He lets out a pained noise and squeezes your hand back.

Then it’s all gone, and your body is rising. You turn to Alex and see your body, and Reggie’s body, with a version of him floating above his body. You stare at him wide-eyed but he looks past you at Alex. You both watch as the paramedics give up on you and move over to Alex as the heart rate monitor gives a solid high beep. And then he’s rising and looking at you and Reggie. The three of you rise above the ambulance and you hear Alex whisper Luke’s name, looking above just you. You catch sight of him for a second before he disappears. The second he does you feel the pulling that was simply causing you to slowly float up, gave a harsh tug and you were suddenly in a black room. 

Alex cried when he arrived, and you felt yourself panic. You were dead. You just died. You and three of your best friends had just died. Reggie was pacing and Luke had just sat on the ground, head in hands. Your own hands were shaking and you couldn’t look at one spot or person for longer than a second. 

The pulling feeling returns after a while and you are falling, the four of you screaming before landing on a carpet, a girl around your age screaming back at you.

---

Taglist: @parkeret​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @amazing-socks​ (if you want to be added to a tag list, send in an ask!)

[peachhcs]

It Was All Yellow

Pairing : Luke Patterson x Fem!OC 

Summary : Blaire makes quick friends with Julie and Flynn during her first day at Los Feliz High School which took her by surprise. Although, that wasn’t her first surprising thing of the morning. 

Word Count : 2.7K 

My first Julie and the Phantoms Series?? My first series in general actually. (On Tumblr anyways, I’m on wattpad too!) Anyways, this is Luke with my own original character so I hope you guys enjoy it! 

Yes I know it seems like Blaire isn’t gonna end up with Luke in the beginning but it’s all character development and Ryan’s for the plot later ;)

Series Masterlist

* * *

Chapter 1 : The New Girl

Blaire hated first impressions. They made her feel awkward and it was always a case of, i promise i’m not this awkward, i just hate first impressions. just wait until you get to know me more. Although, she has been saying that to people for the past 3 years everytime she moved, so it was kind of like second nature to her and it just kind of went over her head. Blaire hates goodbyes, so she tries not to get too close to anyone anymore because then it would just be a mess of saying goodbye and omg i promise i’ll text and call every night! They never did call.

This time it was different, though. Blaire walked into Los Feliz High School on her first day and she instantly spotted two girls, one with beautiful dark-colored skin with an incredible fashion sense and a second one with curls to die for. Blaire wished her flat, sort of wavy, damaged, aburn colored-hair did what that beautiful girl’s hair did. Something inside her just set a spark off and she just had to talk to them. Something was compelling her to be their friend, so Blaire did just that against her better judgement.

“Hi..” Blaire spoke up softly once she was close enough to the two friends. Their conversation had cut short at the sound of a new voice and they turned their heads towards Blaire. A smile found it’s way onto the curly-haired girl’s lips. Her smile was soft, it brought an immense calming feeling over Blaire’s persona.

“Hey, are you new here?” The curly-haired girl’s voice was soft and Blaire didn’t know what she was expecting but it definitely wasn’t the girl just knowing she was new at the school. Most people never even payed attention to new kids, they hardly ever knew that there were new kids in the first place. Blaire couldn’t help the smile finding it’s way onto her lips.

“Um, yeah. I am, how’d you know?” Blaire chuckles a little, holding her backpack straps tighter. The girl just shrugged a little, chuckling too.

“Just a hunch. I’m Julie. That’s Flynn over there.” She motioned over to the girl with pretty box-braids and that still, incredible, fashion sense. Flynn waved with a small smile.

“I’m Blaire, by the way. I love you fashion sense.” Blaire says looking at Flynn who smiles deeply, glancing down to see what outfit she had on today.

“Thank you! I’d be damned if I didn’t win best dressed senior year.” Flynn laughs glancing between Blaire and Julie who join in on her laughter.

“They would be wrong to not vote for you. Nobody can top Flynn’s style.” Julie says glancing over at Blaire who nods in agreement. There really wasn’t anyone who could match what Flynn was pulling off. Blaire was a little jealous herself, if she was being honest.

“It’s true. It really is incredible. You’ll have to give me some tips.” Blaire says glancing down at her own clothes. Just a simple jean jacket pulled over a peach t-shirt tucked into some denim shorts.

“Girl, you already look fab, but don’t worry, I’ll hit you up with the good people.” Flynn winked and Blaire laughed and nodded. She already loved these girls and she’s barely known them for 5 minutes. She didn’t know what it was, but there was just something about them that was making her want to be apart of their friend group and know more about them. These girls held their heads high, they were confident, strongly independent, Blaire could literally feel it. She really had never met people like these girls before.

“What class do you have first? Maybe if it’s around where we are we can all walk together?” Julie suggested and Blaire quickly dug her schedule from her pocket. It was a little ripped and tattered but it was still readable.

“Umm, AP Literature with Mrs. Shall.” Blaire read aloud and she heard Flynn let out what sounded like an impressed whistle.

“So you’re like, smart smart. Okay Blaire, I see you.” Flynn coos and Blaire’s face went a little red at that. She just shrugs, to her it wasn’t really a big deal. Her dad always wanted her to take all the advanced classes to help her transcript and all that stuff to do with getting into a good college.

“Not really. I bet there’s so many other people who are smarter than me. I’m actually more into music and stuff.” Blaire admits and this was the first time she’s opened up this much about herself on the first day. Usually, it’d take her a few days to crack because she put a wall up because she hated letting people in only to leave not long after. This was different, though. Much different.

“No way, us too. Julie’s actually in a band.” Flynn says and Blaire pushes her eyebrow up at Julie who smiles shyly. Blaire looks her over once more before it finally clicks in her head.

“Wait, you’re Julie and the Phantoms?” Blaire asks in disbelief. Ever since she saw that youtube video last year of the band performing, she’s been in love. They sang and sounded like angels and Julie had such an amazing stage presence.

“Guilty.” Julie chuckles and Blaire’s eyes widen even more. She squeals a little bit quickly shuts her mouth in embarrassment. Julie and Flynn both chuckle at her little squeal.

“Sorry, that was embarrassing. You guys are amazing I’ve seen the youtube video and listened to a few of the tracks you guys have recorded. It’s all amazing. You guys sound so great together.” Blaire gushes, her inner fan girl coming out. Julie smiles warmly at her words always loving the positive feedback.

“Thank you, that means a lot. We’ve been working really hard this past year to bring good stuff to the table. We’re excited.” Julie smiles and Blaire had to stop herself from squealing again.

“That’s awesome. I’ll definitely be looking forward to it. Plus, however you do those holograms, that’s literally incredible. It looks so real, too.” Blaire gushes again not being able to contain herself.

“Julie, I think she’s a keeper. She loves the band and she’s really nice.” Flynn says glancing over at Blaire who found herself blushing again at the hospitality. She’s never been treated this nicely by people she’s met on her first day. Blaire could say they were keepers too.

Before the three could do anything else, there was a sound of a bell that Blaire assumed it meant it was time to head to first period.

“Quick, run us down your schedule, we have to have classes with you at some point or at least B lunch.” Julie speaks up quickly and Blaire nods, pulling her schedule out again to read it down to the girls.

“AP Lit, Calculus II, French III, AP Government, Music, B lunch!, AP Biology, and free period.” Blaire reads aloud and Julie and Flynn jump around in excitement that she had B lunch with them.

“Awesome! I have Calc II in second period so I’ll see you then.” Julie says with a smile and she waved before walking off down the hallway to class.

“My class is in the direction of AP Lit so I’ll be glad to walk with you.” Flynn says holding out her arm for Blaire to link with. The auburn-haired girl smiled warmly as she linked arms with her new friend and started their way in the opposite direction Julie went.

“So, Miss Blaire, tell me about yourself. I want to know everything.” Flynn starts and Blaire chuckles. She pauses to try and think of something interesting but her life wasn’t really that interesting. Well..none of what she could say anyway..

“I like dogs?” Blaire says grimacing at how bland and boring that sounded.

“Dogs are cool. What kind of music are you into and any special talents with instruments?” Flynn continues not missing a beat and Blaire smiles, liking that Flynn wanted to get to know her. It was a nice change of pace.

“Well I can play the piano 100%. I’m kind of self-taught? I just picked it up one day when I was like 8 and it went from there. I’ve been trying to learn the guitar but I’m not the greatest at it and I guess I can sort of sing?” Blaire shrugs. Singing wasn’t really her main passion, she liked it, it was just kind of something she did on the side though. Her mom always told her she should have taken it further because according to her mom, she had a really nice signing voice.

“A girl with many talents. I like it. You should definitely stop by Julie’s sometime and we can see what you got up your sleeve.” Flynn says nudging her again and Blaire chuckles with a small nod.

“Alright, yeah. Definitely. What about you miss fashionista?” Blaire asks raising her eyebrow. She wanted to know more about Flynn, too considering how she held herself and her very outgoing personality.

“I’m not so much of a singer, but I do like DJing and I can play the trumpet.” Flynn says and Blaire nods impressively. This girl really could do it all and was it all.

“Djing, I like it. It suits you.” Blaire says and Flynn smiles as they slow down to a bunch of open classrooms students were walking in to.

“Alright, see you later Blaire. Stay fresh.” Flynn says before breaking off and heading into her own classroom. Blaire chuckles with a smile before turning into her own classroom.

The girl scans the room, trying to find a good seat when someone suddenly runs into her, almost sending her flying but they were quick to catch her.

“Oh shit, my bad. Are you okay?” Blaire breaks away from whoever’s grasp she was in to meet eyes with a blue eyed, crazy brown haired boy who had a very concerned look on his face.

“Oh yeah, I’m good. Sorry.” Blaire rushes out shaking her head and the boy raises his eyebrow.

“You’re sorry? I nearly knocked you over. Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks and Blaire tilts her head a little. Maybe it was something in this school’s water but everyone she’s met so far, not mentioning it’s only been 2 people, has been extremely nice. All the people from other schools across California have been stuck up and extremely arrogant.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Save yourself the sweat, crazy hair.” Blaire felt a little bold so she went for it, adding in the little nickname. She saw him smile a little before quickly taming his wild head of hair.

“That bad, huh?” He says and Blaire nods. She spotted an open seat in the middle row so she started to make a beeline for it. Middle row seats were the best after all, not too close to the teacher, and not too far away to get caught up in whatever drugs were being passed in the back row. Blaire found her seat and the same crazy haired boy followed after her, grabbing the seat beside hers.

“This seat taken?” He asks raising his eyebrow and Blaire chuckles and shakes her head.

“Be my guest.” Blaire says and the boy smiles. She gives him an amused smile back before pulling out her notebook for the class and a pencil.

“Oh, I’m Ryan by the way.” The boy spoke up again and Blaire glances at him with a smile.

“Blaire.” She responds and the boy returns her smile. Maybe this new change wouldn’t be so bad after all..she could rebuild herself, wash away everything anyone’s ever known about her and start new. I mean, she deserved it, right?

—

Blaire caught sight of Julie as soon as she entered the classroom and the girl waved her over. Blaire quickly hurried over to her and grabbed the seat next to Julie’s desk before anyone else could take it.

“So what do you think so far? Are you liking it?” Julie pushes her questions and Blaire laughs. She shrugged because she’s only had one period and met about 3 people so she couldn’t judge it yet.

“I’ll let you know around lunch, I’ve only met like 3 people so far.” Blaire laughs and Julie pushes up her eyebrow and a smirk falls on her lips.

“3? Who’s the lucky third?” Julie teases and Blaire just shakes her head with a chuckle.

“I met him last period. It’s name Ryan.” Blaire explains and Julie was already oohing and ahhing.

“Sounds like you two had a good interaction.” Julie says poking her friend’s cheek to indicate there was a blush on them. Blaire pushes her hand away and rolls her eyes.

“I don’t even know him so let’s not take it that far.” Blaire laughs and Julie only shrugs.

“Mark my words, Blaire. I know and see everything.” Julie says with a smirk. Blaire laughs and nods just to make Julie happy. The two girls turn in their seats when the teacher comes in, indicating it was time to start class. They exchange one last smile before pulling out their notes to start class.

Blaire didn’t notice it at first, she was too focused on copying the notes down in time before the teacher switched to the next slide because he was going a little too fast. Blaire had never really been a math wiz but she wasn’t bad at it. She did good and maintained a B+ to A average so she was satisfied and her dad was pretty satisfied with her scores too. He used to be really strict and really pounded into her head that she needed to do well, but ever since her mom passed away a few years ago, he’s laid off a little which Blaire was grateful for.

It was the pink pullover that caught Blaire’s eye that made her turn her head in Julie’s direction to see what was going on. Not really sure what she expecting when she looked, but it definitely wasn’t a boy with Troy Bolton hair, black jeans, vans, a pink pullover standing in front of Julie’s desk. Blaire blinked and then blinked again to make sure what she was seeing was real. She swears the boy wasn’t in the class and she didn’t know how the teacher didn’t see him standing right in front of Julie’s desk.

Blaire glanced at the teahcer, who still didn’t notice the boy standing right there. Was she like seeing things? But she couldn’t be seeing things if Julie was looking right at this kid and scribbling things down into her notebook like she was talking to him. Julie finally glanced over at Blaire for a quick second but she didn’t miss that confused glance and the direction she was looking in. Blaire saw Julie and the kid exchange a glance before looking back at her with wide eyes.

Julie quickly shot her arm up and Blaire suddenly became a little worried.

“Yes, Miss Molina?” The teahcer asks, stopping his lesson. Julie glances to Blaire, a look telling her to follow her lead.

“May Blaire and I use the bathroom? Girl problems.” Julie says and Blaire raised her eyebrow wondering how Julie had that much confidence to say that in front of the whole class. She heard the class snicker a little but the teacher clapped his hands, telling them to be quiet.

“Yes, you may.” The teacher says and Julie nods a thank you. She glances at Blaire and motions for her to follow her out. Blaire quickly packs her backpack up and follows Julie out of the room without another word. The boy in the pink pullover followed after them and yet, he still hasn’t been seen or mentioned by anyone in the classroom.

Julie pulled Blaire around the corner, stopping the two of them where they were out of earshot from any other classrooms. Blaire looks between Julie and the boy very confused and very worried because Julie looked surprised, not worried, but shocked.

“You can see him? Like right here, in front of your face?” Julie asks pointing over at the boy and Blaire glances at the boy who meets her eyes and slowly nods.

“Am I not supposed to be able to see him?..” Blaire trails off slightly. She was getting lost and Julie and the boy exchange another glance.

“What am I wearing?” The boy asks glancing down at his outfit and Blaire looks it over again too.

“A pink pullover with black jeans and checkered vans.” Blaire explains what she sees and Julie’s eyes widen. Blaire was still very confused as to what was happening and why Julie was so surprised she could see this cute boy in front of her.

“She can see me! She can see me! Do you think she can see Alex and Reggie too?” The boy exclaims jumping up and down now and Blaire glances at Julie for help. The girl lets out a sigh.

“Looks like we’ve got a alot of explaining to do..”

[oscopelabs]

Christopher Nolan: The Man Who Wasn’t There by Daniel Carlson

1.

So, we’ll start with the fact that all movies are make-believe. It’s a bunch of actors on a set, wearing costumes and standing with props picked out by hordes of people you’ll never see, under the guidance of a director, saying things that have been written down for them while doing their best to say these things so that it sounds like they’re just now thinking of them. We all know this—saying it feels incredibly stupid, like pointing out that water is wet—but it’s still worth noting. There is, for example, no such person as Luke Skywalker. Never has been, never will be. He was invented by a baby boomer from Modesto. He is not real.

And we know this, and that’s part of the fun. We know that Luke Skywalker isn’t real but is being portrayed by an actor (another boomer from the Bay Area, come to think of it), and that none of the things we’re seeing are real. But we give ourselves over to the collective fiction for the greater experience of becoming involved in a story. This is one of the most amazing things that we do as humans. We know—deep down, in our bones, without-a-doubt know—that the thing we’re watching is fiction, but we enter a state of suspended reality where we imagine the story to be real, and we allow ourselves to be moved by it. We’ve been doing this since we developed language. The people telling these stories know this and bring the same level of commitment and imagination and assurance that we do as viewers, too. The storyteller knows that the story isn’t real, but for lack of a better way to get a handle on it, it feels real. So, to continue with the example, we’re excited when Luke Skywalker blows up the Death Star because he helped the good guys win. For us viewers, in this state of mutually reinforced agreement, that “happened.” It’s not real, but it’s “real”—that is, it’s real within the established boundaries of the invented world that we’ve all agreed to sit and look at for a couple of hours. Every viewer knows this, and every filmmaker acts on it, too. Except:

Christopher Nolan does not do this.

2.

There’s no one single owner or maker of any movie, and anyone who tells you different has their hand in your pocket. But there’s an argument to be made that when somebody both writes and directs the movie, it’s a bit easier to locate a sense of personhood in the final product. (This is all really rough math, too, and should not be used in court.) Christopher Nolan has directed 11 films to date, and while his style can be found in all of them, his self is more present in the ones where he had a hand in the shaping of the story—and crucially, not just that, but in the construction of the fictional world. Take away the superhero trilogy, the remake of a Norwegian thriller, the adaptation of a novel, and the historical drama, and Nolan’s directed five films that can reasonably be attributed to his own creative universe: Following (1998), Memento (2000), Inception (2010), Interstellar (2014), and Tenet (2020). These movies all involve themes that Nolan seems to enjoy working with no matter the source material, including identity, memory, and how easily reality can be called into question when two people refuse to concede that they had very different experiences of the same event. Basically, he makes movies about how perception shapes existence. How he does this, though, is unlike pretty much everybody else.

Take Inception. After a decade spent going from hotshot new talent to household name (thanks to directing the two highest-grossing Batman movies ever made, as well as the first superhero movie to earn an Oscar for acting), he had the credit line to make something big and flashy that was also weird and personal. So we got an action movie that, when first announced in the Hollywood trades, was described as being set within “the architecture of the mind.” Although this at first seemed to be a phrase that only a publicist could love, it turned out to be the best way to describe the film. This is a film, after all, about a group of elite agents who use special technology to enter someone’s subconscious dream-state and then manipulate that person’s memories and emotions. The second half of the film sees team leader Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) and the rest of the squad actually descend through multiple nested subconsciouses to achieve their goal, even as they’re chased every step of the way by representations of Mal (Marion Cotillard), Dom’s late wife, who committed suicide after spending too much time in another’s subconscious and lost the ability to discern whether she was really alive or still in the dream-world.

I say “representations” because that’s what they are: Mal is long dead, but Dom still feels enormous guilt over his complicity in her actions, and that guilt shows up looking like Mal, whose villainous actions (the representation’s actions, that is) are just more signs of Dom not being able to come to grips with his own past. It’s his own brain making these things up and attacking itself, and it chases his entire crew down three successive layers of dream worlds. You get caught up in the movie’s world as a viewer, and you go along because Nolan is pretty good at making exciting movies that feel like theme-park rides. You accept that Dom and everybody else refer to Mal as Mal and not, say, Dom. Dom even addresses her (“her”) when her projection shows up, speaking to her as if she’s a separate being with her own will and desires and not a puppet that he’s pretending not to know he’s controlling. It’s only later that you realize that the movie is in some ways just a big-budget rendition of what it would look like to really, really want to avoid therapy.

Which is what makes Nolan different from other filmmakers:

None of this is actually happening.

Again, yes, it’s happening in the sense that we see things on screen—explosions, chases, a fight scene in a rotating hallway that’s still some of the best practical-effects work in modern action movies—but within the universe of the film, none of what’s going on is taking place in the real world. It’s all unfolding in the subconsciouses of Dom’s teammates. In the movie’s real world, they’re all asleep on a luxury jet. They’re “doing” things that have an outcome on the plot, but Nolan sets more than half the movie inside dreams. It’s a movie about reality where we spend less time in reality than in fantasy. Half the movie is pretend.

For Nolan, filmmaking is about using a dazzling array of techniques to create a visual spectacle that distracts the viewer from the fact that the real and true story is happening somewhere else: in the fringes we can’t quite see, in the things we forget to remember, or even in the realm of pure speculation.

3.

Memento arrived like (and with) a gunshot. It seemed to come out of nowhere and leave people struggling to describe it, and they usually wound up saying something like “it goes backward, but also forward at the same time, except some parts are actually really backward, like in reverse, so it’s maybe a circle?” Written by Christopher Nolan from an idea originally shared with him by his brother, Jonathan (who eventually turned it into a very different short story titled “Memento Mori”), the film follows a man named Leonard (Guy Pearce) who has anterograde amnesia and can’t form new memories, so every few minutes he sort of just resets and has to figure out where he is, what he’s doing there, and so on. He’s on the hunt for the man who attacked him and his wife, leaving his wife dead and Leonard in his present condition, which you can imagine does not make the gathering and synthesis of clues easy.

What’s more, Nolan puts the viewer in Leonard’s shoes by breaking the film’s linear timeline into two halves—call them A and B—and then alternating between them, with the added disorientation coming from the fact that one of those timeline halves plays out backward, with each successive scene showing what happened before the one you previously saw. So, if you numbered all the scenes in each timeline in chronological order, they’d look something like this when arranged in the final film: Scene A1, Scene B22, Scene A2, Scene B21, Scene A3, Scene B20, etc. You get why it messed with people’s heads.

As a result, we spend most of the movie pretty confused, just like Leonard, whose suppositions about what might or might not take place next begin to substitute for our own understanding of the film. It’s not until the end that we find out the shoe already dropped, and that Leonard killed the original attacker some time ago and has since been led on a series of goose chases by his cop friend, Teddy (Joe Pantoliano), who’s planting fake clues to get Leonard to take out other criminals. In other words, we realize that the story we thought was happening was pretend, and the real story was happening all around us, in the margins, memories, and imaginations of the characters. The most honest moment in the movie is the scene where Leonard hires a sex worker to wait several minutes in the bathroom while he gets in bed, then make a noise with the door to wake him, at which point his amnesia has kicked in again and he briefly thinks that the noise is being made by his wife. He’s wrong, of course, but this is the only time in the movie that we actually know he’s wrong. It’s the only time we truly know what’s real and what isn’t.

Yet you can’t talk about Memento without talking about Following, Nolan’s first feature. Although the film’s production was so extremely low-budget you’d think they were lying—the cast and crew all had day jobs and could only film on the weekends, so the thing took a year to make—Nolan’s willingness to dwell completely in a make-believe world that the viewer never knows about is already evident. It’s about a bored young writer who starts following strangers through the city for kicks, only for one of those strangers to catch him in the act and confront him. The stranger introduces himself as Cobb—I kindly submit here that it is not a coincidence that this is also Leonardo DiCaprio’s character’s name in Inception, but you already knew that—and reveals himself to be a burglar, spooked by the tail but willing to take on an apprentice. Cobb trains the writer to be a burglar, only for the situation to ultimately wind up implicating the writer himself in a complex blackmail plot. You see, the writer didn’t latch onto Cobb in a crowd; Cobb lured him in. The whole movie has been Cobb’s story all along, with the writer as a patsy who doesn’t understand the truth until the final frame. None of what we saw mattered, and everything that actually happened happened off-screen just before or just after we came in on a given scene. It’s like realizing the movie you’re watching turned out to be just deleted scenes from something else. You can’t say Nolan didn’t show his hand from the start.

4.

That same general concept—that the movie we’re watching is actually the knock-on effect of a movie we’ll only glimpse, or maybe never even see—underpins Nolan’s latest movies, Interstellar and Tenet, too. Interstellar has some concepts that are iffy even for Nolan (it makes total sense for someone to do something for another out of love, but somewhat less sense that that love somehow reshapes the physical universe), but it’s still a big, bold approach to exploring how time and perception shape our actions. As the film follows its core group of astronauts while they search for potentially habitable new worlds, they encounter strange visions and experiences that turn out to be their handiwork from the future reflected back at them. Sure, it raises the paradoxical question of whether they had a first mission before this that failed, so now their future selves are intervening to make the second one (which feels like the first one to the astronauts the whole time) successful, and all sorts of other stuff that your sophomore-year roommate would like to talk with you about in great detail. But so much of what we see isn’t the stuff that happens, or that winds up being important. There’s the great scene where the astronauts land on a planet near a black hole, which is wreaking havoc on how time passes on the planet. A minor disaster delays their departure for the main ship still in orbit, but when the landing team returns, they find that more than 20 years have “passed” since they left, with the one remaining team member on the ship having spent more than two decades waiting for them to return. It’s a moment of genuine horror, and it underscores the fact that what we thought was the one true reality was just the perspective of a handful of characters we happened to follow for a few minutes. There were whole things happening that changed the plot and story and direction of everything that would follow, and we never saw them; we didn’t even know we’d missed them.

Tenet is, of course, the latest and most recursive exploration yet of Nolan’s obsession with showing us a story that turns out to be mostly fake. It is almost perversely hard to even begin to explain the film (Google “Tenet timeline infographic” and have fun). One way to think about it is to imagine if the two timeline halves from Memento somehow existed at the same time, with people moving both forward and backward through time while inhabiting the same location. Basically, some scientists figured out how to “invert” the basic entropy of objects, so that they exist backward: you hold out your hand and the ball on the ground leaps up into it, because you’ve dropped it in the future, so now you can pick it up, etc. … Look, it doesn’t get easier to understand.

The upshot is, though, that we spend the film following the Protagonist (that’s his name), a CIA agent played by John David Washington, as he’s tasked with tracking down the source of the inverted stuff to figure out what’s unfolding in the future and why it’s suddenly started to make itself known in the present. He gets marginally closer to understanding the truth by the end of the film, but because this is a Nolan film that is maybe more expressly about the nature of reality than anything he’s ever done, his journey doesn’t so much take him forward as it does in a large circle. Because, and stop me if you’ve heard this, the true story of Tenet is taking place outside the Protagonist’s actions and knowledge, alongside him but invisible, often steered by people who themselves are moving “backward” through time and thus have already met the Protagonist in the future and are old friends with him by the time he meets them in his youth. Even more brain-liquefying, some of these people have been working under the orders of the Protagonist himself—the future version, that is—because his past self has already achieved the victories that allowed him to send the future people backward through time to meet his younger self so they’d achieve the victories that allow him to etc., etc., etc.

With Tenet, Nolan didn’t just make a movie that challenged perception, like Memento, or that dwelt in fiction, like Inception. He made a movie that can only be understood (to whatever degree true understanding is possible) by rewatching the movie itself, over and over, as the multiple timelines and harrowingly complex bits of cause and effect come into some kind of focus. The whole movie itself isn’t happening, in a sense, but is just the ramifications of something else, the echoes of a shout whose origin we’re straining to pinpoint. It both is and isn’t.

5.

Christopher Nolan is a talented director of action-driven suspense thrillers. He’s canny at controlling the audience’s emotions, and he knows how to put on a dazzling show. Plus he’s fantastic at picking when to deploy non-computer-generated effects for maximum impact. But you could say that about a lot of other directors, too. What sets Nolan apart from the rest, and what makes him a director to keep watching and returning to, is the teasing way his movies wind up being just deceptive enough to fool you into thinking that you know what’s going on, then just harsh enough to disabuse you of that notion. Looking at what seems to drive him, I don’t think Tenet is his best movie-movie, but it’s his most-Nolan movie. It’s almost a culmination of his continuing efforts to tell stories where what you see and what actually happens are two different things. It’s not that he makes puzzles to solve. There is no solving these movies. Rather, it’s that he sculpts these delicate artifacts that only let you see two dimensions at a time, never all three, no matter how you twist your head. Craning back and forth, you can almost see the whole thing, but not quite. Some part of it will always have to exist in your memory. And that’s where Christopher Nolan likes to be.

[sepublic]

Starkiller Base was unnecessary

           Re-watching The Force Awakens, and… It’s occurred to me that, even more than I initially thought, Starkiller Base is a genuinely useless, pointless part of the plot that’s just shoehorned in for the sake of arbitrarily raising the stakes, in a blind attempt to redo the Original Trilogy while one-upping it at the same time; Taking pot shots at the original Death Star’s ‘absurdity’ to try to make Starkiller Base’s destruction feel more ‘involved’ and ‘sensible’ with having an inside job to sabotage and blow up key components, yadda-yadda; Almost feels like the writers are punching down at the Original Trilogy in a vain attempt to look more clever and ‘self-aware’, without considering how reckless power-scaling doesn’t work (Which we see once more and somehow even worse in The Rise of Skywalker).

           The thing about why the Death Star works is like… It’s relevant. It has build-up. We’re introduced to it from the start, the entire story revolves around destroying it; R2-D2 is important because he has plans to the Death Star, Vader is seen chasing Leia because she had those plans. It all comes around to and circles back to the Death Star, we have a sense of what it is from the start, there’s build-up. You NEED the planet-killing machine for the climax of A New Hope, because the only reason to go there is because, surprise- The Death Star IS there, it just arrived right besides Yavin IV!

           But Starkiller Base… When you watch the movie, it just pops in out of nowhere, amidst the pre-established plot threads. Without any prior context or build-up, we’re just suddenly treated to a shot of this huge, mechanized planet, and then Hux almost casually drops that the ‘superweapon’ is ready, and then suddenly it’s firing and blows up the Hosnian System. The Death Star is justifiable because it’s the first of its kind, Starkiller Base is the third. In canon and Legends, there’s a lot of side-material going into the sheer enormity and horror of the Death Star, the amount of manpower it takes to construct such a thing, its formation is treated with gravitas; And yet something WAY bigger and more advanced comes out of nowhere, from a group even less powerful than the Empire?!

           Again, you need the Death Star, it’s why the rebels are being chased, it’s why Leia was captured, it’s why R2-D2 meets Luke and then Obi-Wan, bringing up the Rebel journey; It’s why Luke’s aunt and uncle die, it’s why there’s no Alderaan and instead the Death Star itself to capture the protagonists when they arrive there. But Starkiller Base is pointless- The plot is about BB-8 because he has the map to Luke Skywalker, it’s about finding Luke through BB-8. Starkiller Base is just so casually dropped for something that should be so much bigger than the Death Star in the narrative… And likewise, we don’t need it for anything.

           Is it to prove to Finn that the First Order is dangerous, that he can’t just ignore its destruction? The thing is, he already has Rey’s capture to motivate his participation. Starkiller Base could not fire, but Finn would still help the Resistance infiltrate, because Rey would still be captured. It’s not needed for Poe and the Resistance to arrive on Takodana, because they came for BB-8 after getting that message, the Hosnian Cataclysm totally unrelated. You could argue it gives the Resistance an excuse to fight back against the First Order in the film’s climax… But that does not justify creating another superweapon, much less one as implausible and redundant as Starkiller Base.

           Like, maybe the writers wanted to REALLY return to the status quo, so having the New Republic be devastated was a requirement… But was it really? Just have the New Republic continue to be ineffectual, it’s even a plot-point in side material that its military is embarrassingly small; So just say the Resistance IS the full extent of that military! You still get an underdog situation. And again, if you really want to forcibly cut off any support for the Resistance… You don’t need a giant superweapon to one-up the Death Star. Just have the First Order demonstrate its traditional military power, by having a fleet invade the New Republic’s capital, unexpected, able to waltz in because everyone is so incompetently lax about these rising fascists; And with recent real-life events, it only makes more disturbing sense.

          Instead of getting a pointless superweapon, have a bunch of Star Destroyers attack Hosnian Prime and take it over, show a montage of destruction and civilian death, etc. This still establishes the danger of the First Order and how it’s quickly decapitated the New Republic and left it in shambles, setting the stage for the underdog conflict; But you don’t have to rely on something as absurdly over-the-top as Starkiller Base, which has no build-up to its unprecedented firepower besides “Oh yeah this exists” and then watching it fire and finding out firsthand.

          The death of trillions with the Hosnian System is senseless violence both in-universe and from a narrative, writing perspective… And again, this arguably establishes the First Order as a threat better, because they don’t need to rely on a superweapon; And even after The Force Awakens ends, the audience still knows that they have access to an entire fleet… Whereas with Starkiller Base, that threat is lost by the end of the film and thus made redundant. The scene could become even more disturbing if we straight-up see some civilians on Hosnian Prime welcome the First Order, adding additional world building that helps explain why the First Order was able to develop, how it got support- And again, being topical to what happens today. It connects with canon lore about the First Order’s supporters in other worlds (such as Coruscant), and could even be a callback to liberty dying with thunderous applause in Revenge of the Sith! We could still have the people on Takodana react in horror, through the Holonet’s broadcasting of the coup.

           Of course, this is Star Wars- And what’s more iconic than thrilling space battles and trench runs? Sometimes you want sci-fi fun and stuff for the sake of it, nothing wrong with that, that’s always important too… But again, you don’t need a giant super-laser to have that. Just make up something else; Like Starkiller Base is the planet that the First Order has taken over. Perhaps they intend to launch a bunch of new Star Destroyers, or are about to finish production of a whole new batch, which would make things even worse. Instead of destroying a superweapon, you could have the Resistance crippling the factories that finish these Star Destroyers- There’s your trench run! Have them blow up a power plant that’s running the factories, instead of a thermal oscillator. There’s still a victory at the end, and while the threat is far from over, time has been bought- And it makes the First Order’s immediate retaliation in the next film more sensible, adds to the idea that every second, every bit of progress helps, you gotta take what you need… Even an extra day to prepare and evacuate is a miracle that furthers the underdog motif.

           Plus, with a batch of Star Destroyers that need to be stopped- There’s still the need to rescue Rey. The Resistance still needs to cause damage at the First Order’s base, and Finn is still needed to infiltrate and lower the shields, while taking advantage of this operation for himself and Rey. Most importantly, you don’t get a contrived superweapon that only adds to the bland, carbon-copy standard of the Sequel Trilogy; And perhaps best of all, we don’t have to see Ilum retroactively bastardized and destroyed, with Starkiller Base’s identity revealed AFTER we see it get blown up… The legacy of the Jedi and its history is not further destroyed with the loss of this sacred planet of kyber crystals.

          And that’s better, because this trilogy about passing the torch, seems as insistent as Kyle Ron, the villain, on interpreting this theme as utterly wiping out all traces of the past, and leaving nothing for the next generation to work with. Which, I’m not surprised at a corporation thoughtlessly razing and salting the earth in selfish disregard for those who will need and use it afterwards, but still. And while a star that burns brighter than most thanks to its heart of Kyber IS a neat concept that could be worked with, especially with what Chirrut Imwe says, in addition to the motifs of flames of rebirth and the Phoenix… It’s not something that justifies the further eradication of Jedi history and effort on a level that even the Empire didn’t go, just to arbitrarily raise stakes with yet another uninspired superweapon.

           Like, the Duel of the Fates script and its concept of a device that blocks off all inter-galactic communication is MUCH more interesting, clever, and innovative than the Death Star Lite, and it hits closer to home in this age of internet and mass communication; In contrast to the Death Star, which fit more in its time as a criticism of the stockpiling and development of nukes, and how that tapped into the public’s fear at the time of nuclear Armageddon. And a device blocking off intergalactic communication provides good reason for why the Resistance doesn’t have the full might of the New Republic behind them, because they can’t even communicate to collaborate, and it adds to that idea of people made to feel ‘alone’ or whatever and thus isolated, so they can’t band together and rise up. That adds to Rey feeling alone, and makes Poe and Zorii’s discussion at the end of the trilogy that much more meaningful… Not that the Sequel Trilogy was planned to consider the latter, of course.

           (Actually, I wonder if it’s possible to cut Starkiller Base’s superweapon scenes from the film. Like a cut where any references to its superweapon, and the scene where it fires, is cut out; I think the film might still work that way.)

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 14-19

This is the “Elevator Action” arc, presumably named after the 1983 video game of the same name.   I’m pretty sure a lot of Hellsing arcs are named for video games, which makes me wonder about the ones that aren’t.   Like, is “Master of Monster” a video game that I just haven’t heard of?  

The title fits, in the sense that there’s an elevator in the story, but we don’t spend much time there.   Anyway, this thing starts off with Alucard checking into a ritzy hotel in Rio de Janiero, and his only luggage is two big-ass coffins covered in sheets.  What happens next might surprise you...

For some reason, the guy at the front desk objects to Al’s luggage, not because they’re coffins, but because they’re just really big?   Like, he’s not even remotely suspicious, even though the sheets sort of hint that they’re trying to smuggle something in.   No, this guy just thinks it’s too big.    So Alucard uses vampire hypnotic powers or whatever to Jedi Mind Trick him.   Pip Bernadotte thinks it’s a “sex beam”, and yeah, this dude sure looks like he got hit with a sex beam.  

Seras is part of this mission, but she can’t travel over running water, so she had to make the transatlantic flight in her coffin.    Apparently they tricked her into this, which I don’t understand, but okay.  

And Al makes a big production over the debut of his own coffin, because he’s a diva like that.  

During the trip, Seras fell asleep, and she dreams of a visitation by the guy who played Baron Harkonnen in the Dune movie.   I think?   This is all a big gag revolving around her gun being named after a guy in Dune.    Then Alucard wakes her up because there’s helicopters and soldiers surrounding their hotel, and he thinks it’s awesome.

A bunch of this arc is panels and panels of commando goons taking up positions and getting ready.    A Brazilian newscaster is there covering the story, which he says is a hostage situation.    The authorities seem to think Alucard and Seras massacred a bunch of people in the hotel, and have hostages on the top floor.    It’s weird that they would even have a photo of Seras for this, since no one saw her.   As for Alucard, they identify him as “J.H. Brenner”, which I believe was an alias Dracula used in the Bram Stoker novel.   He shoulda spelled it backwards.   “Yes, I have a reservation for R. E. Nnerbhj”.   

Also, these photos are just panels from the Valentine Bros. arc.    That’s Seras killing ghouls in her berzerker rage, and that’s Alucard chillaxing while he waits for Luke Valentine to find him.   How would a Brazilian TV station have these?   I’m starting to think this comic about gun-toting vampires might not be on the level.

So now all the main cast can see this situation unfold on international television.   Pip watches from his crappy one-star hotel room, Integra, Walter, and the Convention of Twelve watch from Jolly Old England, and Millennium is watching from... well, somewhere.   

They clearly orchestrated this whole situation, which means they not only knew about Alucard’s mission, but they had a whole thing prepared for him.   As far as they’re concerned, this is just a test to see if Alucard will kill humans as readily as he hunts monsters.

What follows is, well, a bloodbath.   The police try to enter Alucard’s hotel room, only to find his coffin, engraved with “The BIrd of Hermes is my name, Eating my wings to make me tame.” While they try to suss out that riddle, Alucard shows up and demands they stay away from his coffin, so they shoot at him for like three pages in a row.    But bullets don’t work on Alucard, so he just grows back a new everything and starts slaughtering these guys.

The last guy in the room is so horrified that he just gives up and shoots himself, which actually shocks, then enrages Alucard.   

Then he tells Seras to come out of a cupboard he hid her in, and he gets all upset when she objects to his killing humans.    “Look, this is war,” he tells her, but that look he gives her at the end kind of suggests that he knows she has a point.    Those cops were never any match for him.    The two of them could have easily escaped this penthouse without a scratch.    Alucard’s ethics may excuse this kind of overkill in the line of duty, but he knows it’s not right. 

This scene also marks the first (only?) time Seras defies him.   There’s a part in the Gonzoverse series where Alucard is about to execute a human reporter who Knows Too Much, so she pulls a gun on him, but then Integra shows up and is like “No, it’s cool, you can kill this lady, idgaf.”  I guess that whole moment mirrors this one pretty well now that I write it out.    Seras doesn’t like how this is playing out.   She joined Hellsing to fight vampires, not human police officers, but she still follows Alucard’s lead in the end.   So is he influencing her, or is she influencing him?   It’s kind of hard to tell.

And maybe Seras really did make an impression on Al, because the next thing he does is call Integra to report in and confirm his orders.     She told him “Search and Destroy” before he left, but that was before all these human dupes shows up at his doorstep.     He’s willing and able to kill them without regret, but he wants to know if Integra is cool with it, since she’s the one calling the shots.    But Integra holds firm and insists that nothing has changed.    She looks resolute here, but leading up to this moment she was pretty anxious about what Alucard was going to do with all these humans.   

So why is Walter so giddy about this?  Is he just proud to see his commander displaying this ruthless leadership style?   Or is it something more?    After she hangs up, she asks Walter if she made the right call, but he declines to give an opinion, since he’s just the butler.  

I’m not sure Seras was privy to any of this, since she was preparing the coffins for transport while Al was on the phone.    He orders her to take the coffins to the roof and steal a helicopter to escape.   While she does this...

Alucard leaves the suite and heads down to the front door of the hotel.   There’s more cops in the hallway waiting for him, but he just mows them down the same way he did the ones in his suite.

Back to Millennium, their leader, known only as “The Major”, is now satisfied with the knowledge that Alucard can and will kill humans that get in the way of his mission.   But he sees no reason to prolong this battle, so he orders his man in the field, Tubalcain Alhambra, to put this to an end.  

Oh, and here’s the elevator.    The cops scramble inside and try to close the doors to escape Alucard, but he sex beams one of them to hit the “door open” button, which gives him just enough time to get inside.   He kills them all, then emerges on the ground floor and kills the cops there to make his way to the entrance.    Along the way, he tosses some of their bodies out the windows, and they land on nearby flagpoles, which impale their corpses like pikes.     Because he’s Vlad the Impaler, get it?  

And finally Tubalcain Alhambra reveals himself.   He calls himself “The Dandyman”, and he has card powers.   Is he anything like D’arby the Elder from JoJo?   Well, he’s got a vest, so maybe.   He explains that he manipulated the authorities into sending those cops into the hotel.   All he had to do was promise them eternal life.   They didn’t hurt Alucard, but they did get him to waste a bunch of his ammunition.   Maybe all of it, since I’m pretty sure Al never shoots Dandyman during this fight.    See?   Seras had the right idea after all.

Never mind, he does shoot him.   Also these two hit a lot of innocent bystanders while they fight.    It’s worth noting that Dandyman seems to have a lot of the same abilities Alucard expected from Luke Valentine during their battle.    Luke thought he was hot shit, but he couldn’t regenerate or transform himself.    But it looks like Tubalcain can shrug off gunfire and turn his whole body into playing cards.   

While all of this vampire fightin’ is a-goin’ on, Pip Bernadotte infiltrates the bad guys’ command post, shoots all of the crooked authorities in league with Dandyman, and then blows the whole thing up for good measure.

Oh, and here’s the third (and final?) Cross-Fire backup.    Bishop Maxwell gets injured during a pagan cult tries to assassinate the Pope, so he sends Heinkel Wolfe and Yumiko Takagi to go to Wales and slaughter their entire congregation.   And they do.   These Cross-Fire stories just don’t hold up.    It’s two overzealous religious fanatics killing other fanatics, except they always have the firepower and the element of surprise, so there’s no suspense or tension to any of it.  

Back to the Dandyman fight, well... wait, we gotta go through a flashback, first.

The last installment opens with young Integra learning about vampires from her father, Arthur Hellsing.    He quizzes her about why vampires are so feared, and the answer is that vampires are powerful, and they’re also vicious and aware of their own power.    So in close-quarters they’ll tear a human to pieces.    And another monster wouldn’t?   I’m not sure I understand his point.  

Back to the fight, Dandyman seems to have Alucard in a bit of trouble, because his cards are razor sharp and once they cut Al, he can’t recover from the wounds so easily.    Fortunately, Seras shows up to provide a helpful diversion.    And by “diversion”, I mean, shooting enormous shells at Dandyman.

And that gives Alucard a chance to get the drop on him.   He breaks Dandy’s leg, splits his left arm in half, longways, and then drinks his blood.   Also, Millennium does that self-destruct thing on Dandyman, so he goes up in flames.    This is about as defeated as a bad guy can get.  

And then Pip shows up in a helicopter, I guess the same one Seras was ordered to steal, since they have the coffins ready to go.   But Alucard is in no hurry to withdraw, because he’s just so gosh darn excited to be fighting this Millennium group.  They’re bloodthirsty, violent maniacs, just like him, so it’s perfect.  Or is it...

[nooneactuallyasked]

Diner Gal - Reggie x Reader Part 6

Requested: It’s a series, there are no requests here!

Word count: 942

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: Julie and the Phantoms ( + Flynn ) go to a musical diner/café/restaurant for inspiration and hopefully a future gig but they end up meeting a very special waitress.

Note: Are you excited? I’m excited. I just wanna take this moment to thank you all for the support, it genuinely means the world. I worried for so long about putting my ideas out there and it means the world that people actually like them. So, if you’re reading this and have a story in your drafts or an idea tucked away inside your mind, share it. I’m sure it will be amazing! Anyway, this part is shorter because I have exams this week, there will be a 6.5 part soon! Enjoy!

Part 1 here   Part 2 here

Part 3 here   Part 4 here

Part 5 here

---

Y/N sped along the sidewalk, desperately clutching a stack of papers, binders and folder to her chest. One purple folder sat on top, empty. Her head was cocked to one side, holding her phone in place as she chatted with Cal about the lineup. They’d found another band that had pestered Cal until he agreed and a couple of solo or duet acts.

Who knew basically managing a bunch of different people every week before saying goodbye on Friday evening would be so stressful? Y/N. Y/N did. She tried to keep track of groups through nicknames, each uniquely for that act. For example, the group that had pestered Cal were dubbed the Highlighters. Hummus was the guy who had 4 tubs of hummus a day, pretty self-explanatory. And the group she was now practically sprinting to meet on time was christened Julie and the Himbos. Of course, she had nicknames for the individuals in each group but as a whole, they had their names. The nicknames for Julie’s group were Firecracker, Lover Boy, Boomer and Leather Boy. She put thought into each nickname otherwise they might as well be non-existent, Julie was Firecracker because she had the spark and lit up the room like a firecracker, Lover Boy was obviously whipped for Julie, Alex reminded her of her favourite RowdyRuff boy and also he played the drums (Boom Boom) and Leather Boy just fit perfectly.

Y/N leant against the wall, quickly trying to catch her breath from the sprint over. She had arrived and wanted to at least look a little more professional than a girl being late and playing dress-up. She may be young but Y/N was worth taking seriously, at least when she was working she was. She straightened up and tried to help the pile of folders and paper regain a balanced form. Walking to the front door.

Y/N realised the dilemma she faced, how to knock on the door, or ring the doorbell. Blowing a piece of hair out her face, she decided that since banging her head on the door wasn’t particularly an option that kicking it lightly with her foot would suffice. A few ‘knocks’ later and a kicks later a kid Y/N didn’t recognise appeared in the doorway, “You must be the waitress lady Julie was waiting for, her band get everyone in high spirits.” He winks, laughing at his pun, “I’m Carlos, I’m somewhat of a ghost hunter around these parts.” Y/N smiled awkwardly, “Uh, okay. Would you mind showing me the way to where she is?” Carlos stepped out, closing the door behind him and walked to the gate, Y/N trailing behind him trying to keep her stack balanced. “Just through here, they’re in the garage.” She smiled, “Thanks, little man, I appreciate it. See you when I see you.” Y/N walked over to the garage door, once again faced with her favourite dilemma.

She ‘knocked’ again, a hurried “Coming!” and loud shuffling came from within before the door flew right open revealing a frazzled Julie.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Hey, Firecracker. Can I come in?”

“Firecracker? You know what I don’t need to know, and, uh, sure.”

“Thanks.” Y/N walked inside and stood awkwardly by the sofa. “That’s a lot of folders, do you like art?” She turned to see Reggie looking over her shoulder. “Oh, no, this is just all the info we have on all of the acts for Friday. The folder for you guys is the purple one on top. Julie, where can I put these, my arms are killing me.”

“Oh, over there.” Julie pointed to a coffee table settled comfortably next to the sofa, “Thanks, firecracker.”

“Fire- huh?”

“Do we all get nicknames? ‘Cause I’m feeling a little left out.”

“Stop talking, it’s serious band time.”

“Okay…so, anyway, have you decided what song you’ll be doing? Or will you be sticking with the song you demo’d for us?” The bandmates looked at each other, silently communicating, “We’ve decided that we want to do Stand Tall, it’s a song that showcases everyone’s talent. We figured if we were going to try and get a manager and with you helping us without getting anything in return then we should go all out.” Julie explained, a smile growing on her face as she positioned herself behind her keyboard.

“We played this at the Orpheum not too long ago so we thought-“ “-more like I thought and then told you.” “-Right, Julie thought that this song could be our good luck charm and anthem-“ “-Plus, it’s partly written by my mom so it makes it even more special.” “-Exactly, so yeah.” Julie and Luke smiled at each other, their finishing each other’s sentences and adding details was adorably sickening.

Y/N sat there slightly shocked, “You performed at the Orpheum? And you still wanna perform at our little diner?” Julie rolled her eyes and stared at her with an eyebrow raised, “Your so-called ‘little diner’ is legendary and on Friday’s it’s literally the best place on Earth to find your way into a real music career!”

“Aw, you read up on us? I feel so loved. Anyway, I need to hear it and write notes on it so Cal can give you pointers, is it alright if you video it too?”

“Sure thing, it’ll help us in the long run anyway.”

Y/N smiled, sitting down on the sofa, the purple folder nestled in her lap with paper resting atop where she would write her notes. Julie placed her phone on the coffee table, propped up against a vase of flowers. Y/N leant forward, as Julie went back to her position, and hit record.

---

Taglist:

@hereforthejatp​   @slutforjjmaybank​

@morganayennefertyrell​   @dxestars​

@dcnerd98​   @ultraworthlessbitch​

@revolutionary-werewolf-ghosts​

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Vickie Moseley

Vickie Moseley has 252 stories at Gossamer, some of which have also made their way to AO3. She has obviously contributed a ton to the fandom over the years! I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Giving Thanks, Stunned, and a bunch of post-eps for particular episodes, including “Firewalker” and “Pine Bluff Variant.” Big thanks to Vickie for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Not really. Well, actually, it has always surprised me that anyone would read my stories even during the heyday of the series, but that’s my self-consciousness talking. That people are discovering The X-Files is not at all surprising and that they are stumbling on fan fic is a natural extension and I find that wonderful. My husband and I never watched Grimm when it was on network TV and we’re currently going through that series, so it’s the streaming-on-demand-there-isn’t-anything-new-on-TV times we find ourselves.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

Friendships. I have a group of women that I’ve been friends with for over 20 years. Until this year we gathered in person every year. We are in contact on Facebook messenger all the time and a conversation will start up just out of thin air when we haven’t conversed for months! It’s been wonderful knowing these women from all parts of the country (and the world for that matter).

And strangely enough, medical research. My writing tended to focus on ‘injured Mulder’ (or Mulder Torture as we termed it) and I also liked reading that in fan fic. Two years ago this managed to help me in real life. My husband experienced a bilateral pneumothorax (both lungs collapsed spontaneously). One of my favorite stories that I have read and reread is “Short of Breath” by the incomparable dee_ayy. She did some serious research while writing that story and it’s all in that fan fiction. I’m not saying it’s the same as a medical degree, but I knew what was happening, why the doctors where performing certain procedures and it really eased my mind as we went through the whole experience. I never would have known what was going on if I hadn’t read that story so many times.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Email was the ‘social media’ for the day. That, and newsfeeds. There were two newsfeeds in the beginning: the official FOX website had a message board, and there was one on ‘alt.tv’ which was an internet newsfeed where fans posted spoilers and discussed episodes. The alt.tv newsfeed got tired of the fan fic writers posting stories so a separate newsfeed was formed just for fan fic. EMXC, which was an AOL mailing list, was invite only and somewhat exclusive at first, but opened up to everyone. When the old OSU (Ohio State University) mailing list turned into Gossamer and Ephemeral, the fandom, and fan fic just skyrocketed.

But what you lived for the most, as a writer, was actual feedback. Emails from people all over who read your story. It was nice to get a quick ‘Hey, read this and really like it!’ but the wonderful emails, the ones you kept in folders on your inbox, were the ones that went into detail, sometimes critical, sometimes grammar related, but always showing where you could improve, or where you touched someone. Every friend I have from the fandom started as feedback, either to me or from me. I’m on AO3 and I appreciate ‘kudos’ but I really love getting comments.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Confidence in my writing. I learned a lot from other writers. Constructive feedback was a gift! I may never write the great American novel but I don’t think I’m afraid to give it a shot after all my years in fan fic.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

They had me at ‘aliens’. I’m a sucker for UFO shows. Was front row center at Close Encounters of the Third Kind, read many of the UFO standards, still watch Ancient Aliens on History Channel. I was waiting for The X-Files based on the tiny blurb in the 1993 Fall Preview Guide from TV Guide.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I kinda got fired from a job I loved and couldn’t go back into that arena for a long time. I was so depressed I was cleaning out my kitchen cabinets. My husband ‘gave’ me the internet for my birthday just to get me out of the dumps. I went straight to ‘yahoo’ and typed in X Files. After reading all the character bios I saw a ‘hyperlink’ (yes, that’s what we called them in 1995) to something called ‘fan fiction’. It was the OSU tree directory of about 100 fan fiction stories. I was instantly hooked.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I still love the show and all the fans I run across. I was not happy with S8 or S9 but I did watch The Truth. I was on Haven for a while during the reboots (S10 and S11) but it wasn’t the same. I’ve got all the seasons on DVD or blu ray and both movies. When I hear from fans, I’m so happy to connect but I don’t go out and look for new stories anymore.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

None. My heart belongs to Mulder ;)

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Captain Kirk, Spock, Captain Picard, Will Riker, Luke, Han, Leia, Poe, Rae, Kylo at the end. I like strong characters but it’s OK if they have flaws. I’d like to see more strong female leads in science fiction (Gammora and Nebula are favs of mine, too). I love Brea Larson’s portrayal of Captain Marvel!  

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Sure. When the Pandemic hit we started going through the series for maybe the 20th time. It’s nice to watch them on a larger TV screen. Kim Manners was a genius with lighting and showing just enough of the ‘monster’. I suspect he will be better appreciated in the future than he was at the time he was alive.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I still go back and read my favorites from XF. I read Blood Ties by Dawn about once a year, the whole series. I go back and read the Virtual Season X seasons. We had some really good stories in those years.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Too many to list! Dawn, of course. Susan Proto (I co-wrote with her), Sally Bahnsen, dee_ayy, Suzanne Bickerstaff’s Magician Series was the first (and only) fantasy I ever truly liked! I loved all my co-writers and there are plenty of writers that I wish we’d gotten around to collaborating.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I’m proud of Out of the Cold because it’s Mulder before Scully. I’m partial to the Flight Into Egypt series because I like ‘righting’ what I thought Carter got wrong in the end.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I keep trying! I’m working (have been working for almost a decade now) on a Flight Into Egypt story set at Christmas. Each fall I drag it out of mothballs, write a paragraph or two and get busy doing Christmas stuff. Funny, but it was easier to find time to write when I was a working mom of 6 than as a retired grandma of 3.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I’m putting together a cookbook for my kids and grandkids of all our family recipes. It’s not just the recipes, but the stories behind them. It’s a WIP (work in progress).

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I had a book, just a cheap paperback of unexplained events—all true stories, supposedly—that I got a lot of ideas from. Or, like Carter, I would see something in the news and it would turn into a story. One time I had a dream about our Pur water filter and it turned into a fan fic.

What's the story behind your pen name?

My older sister named me because my Mom and Dad let her. I never used a pen name. That’s my real name, you can google me and find out all about me. I used to have a wiki page or so my kids told me.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My kids used to tell their friends that ‘Mom is famous on the internet’ as a joke. Most of my friends know. My other life is in politics and the two lives usually don’t cross but once on a campaign I was asked by a reporter if I was the ‘same’ Vickie Moseley who writes fan fiction. If I had lied, that would have been the story—that I lied about this hobby of mine. Like it was something to be ashamed of or I was ashamed of my writing. So instead of ducking the question I said ‘yeah, have you read any of my stuff?’ Fan fiction was not mentioned in the finished article.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

I’m on AO3 but only a partial list. My website is still up thanks to Mimic.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Back when I started writing (1995) it was a sort of commune. We all loved reading fan fiction, we didn’t want the story to end with the credits. So if you wanted to read, you were encouraged to write, too, so that others had stories to read and share. It was a cooperative arrangement very much like the old Literary Societies back in the 19th Century.  I really miss that, so I hope that on some level that is still going on.

(Posted by Lilydale on November 10, 2020)

[aion-rsa]

Helstrom: The Comic History of Marvel’s Son of Satan

https://ift.tt/33Vbv3V

On Oct. 16, Hulu will be releasing the latest Marvel tie-in series Helstrom. It’s not so much like one of those upcoming Disney+ MCU shows that feature high-profile superheroes telling stories that will be important to the overall fictional universe. It’s more like Daredevil or Runaways where quality be damned, you’re never going to hear anyone in the movies make anything close to a reference to it, but it counts as part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe anyway.

The series is about siblings Daimon Helstrom and Ana Helstrom, who have seemingly normal lives, but oppose demons and evil people on the side. Their mother is institutionalized, which is fairly true to the comics, but their father is also referred to as “a powerful serial killer.”

In the comics, things are a bit grander. Their father isn’t just any serial killer, but a variation of Satan. Marvel has a bunch of guys whose identities are “basically Satan, but not really.” Instead of suits and turtlenecks, the two have comic adventures where they dress like they shopped off the sexy Halloween costume rack at Party City.

Daimon Helstrom (played by Tom Austen) gets both L’s in the comics as Daimon Hellstrom, but also has the rad nickname of Son of Satan. Shockingly, he’s a good guy! Mostly. Even when bare-chested with a glowing pentagram over his torso. Even with a magical pitchfork as his weapon of choice.

Son of Satan and his sister Satana are essentially the Marvel versions of Dante and Vergil from Devil May Cry. Both are half-human/half-devil and they lean on opposite sides of their genetics.

So let’s say you want to get into Hellstrom’s comic book exploits. Well, you’re in luck because we have a list of his main character runs since showing up in 1973.

The Early Spotlight (1973-1975)

Hellstrom made his first appearance in Ghost Rider #1. In the first two issues of that series, Hellstrom was hired as an exorcist to help deal with a missing woman who had been possessed. Interestingly enough, they never gave a clear look at Hellstrom in those two issues other than the demonic birthmark on his chest.

Initially, Hellstrom had a Jekyll and Hyde gimmick to the point that he told the woman’s loved ones to lock him up in a dark room and not let him out no matter what he said. Unlike the supporting characters in Young Frankenstein, the bozos didn’t take that to heart and let Hellstrom’s more maniacal personality Son of Satan loose.

Sidenote: His adventures were originally going to be called “the Mark of Satan” with more emphasis on Satan as the antagonist, but doing comics focused on Satan was deemed a little over-the-line, so they changed it.

Second sidenote: I did not hit her, it’s bullshit, I did not hit her, I DID NOT! Oh hi, Mark of Satan!

Read more

TV

How Helstrom Became One of Marvel Television’s Last Shows Standing

By Alec Bojalad

Son of Satan’s adventures continued into Marvel Spotlight #12-24. It didn’t take long for Marvel to realize that giving him a double-identity was kind of a lame idea and instead had Satan Sr. magically handwave that away and make Son of Satan just one dude. Definitely for the better as he no longer felt so blatantly like Marvel’s answer to Jason Blood/Etrigan.

Hellstrom continued to fight against ghoulish enemies while opposing his father’s ways and dated some generic woman whose name I couldn’t tell you if you paid me a million dollars. It all culminated in a really strong finale issue where Hellstrom fought against and with his sister Satana, but maybe ignore the part where Hellstrom had a dream about the two of them making out.

Striking Out Solo (1975-1977)

Son of Satan had his own self-titled ongoing series that only lasted eight issues. From the beginning, Hellstrom went to Hell to basically tell off his dad as a way to say that this series wouldn’t be about their rivalry. Instead, it was Son of Satan dealing with a bunch of random villains that nobody would ever really remember.

There was one ridiculous enemy named the Possessor (not to be confused with the Elder of the Universe) who wore a mask to hide the fact that he had demon faces where his ears are supposed to be. Too bad he never showed up outside of this series.

It was a trippy outing, but ended before it could find its footing.

Demon Defender (1981-1983)

The Defenders are, of course, the bundle of heroes who don’t quite fit in with the Avengers, Fantastic Four, or X-Men but need people to hang out with. Guys like Hulk, Dr. Strange, Namor, Valkyrie, etc. Son of Satan became a regular ally in the team’s early days, appearing to help out every now and then. Most notably, he was part of a storyline where the Serpent Society kidnapped the Defenders and Clea put together a second team to rescue them, featuring the likes of Son of Satan, Daredevil, and Luke Cage.

Then again, the only thing anyone truly remembers about those issues is a very bizarre and legendary scene of a random guy getting killed by an Elf with a Gun.

As the series reached its 92nd issue, Hellstrom finally joined the team. On one hand, having Son of Satan on the team meant the Defenders had to take on the occult more than usual. On the other hand, Hellstrom soon fell in love with fellow Defender Hellcat, who was regularly dealing with constantly being possessed and turning into a scantily-clad demoness.

When Defenders hit its 100th issue, they did a really climactic storyline where a handful of the various Marvel Devil guys invaded Earth and Son of Satan had to take on Father of Son of Satan for the fate of Earth. The conclusion is rather surprising.

Prince of Lies (1993-1994)

Okay, so Daimon Hellstrom and Patsy Walker have been married for ten years (our time). It’s a fairytale romance where they’ve made a few guest appearances here and there, but have otherwise retired, happily ever after. What could POSSIBLY taint such true love?

90s comics. That’s your answer.

Welcome to Hellstorm: Prince of Lies, a 21-issue ongoing series where every issue looks like a Nine Inch Nails video and they try to see how much lanky nudity they can get away with showing in a Marvel comic. Like, holy crap, there has to be a world record for shadowed-out junk in this series. They even edit in some obvious, hastily-drawn underwear on characters at times as if the editor has realized they’ve gone too far.

It’s a gritty and grimy series that you’d expect from a 90s comic where much of it is written by Warren Ellis and the main character is Satan’s son. Lots of spikes, sharp teeth, long hair, suffering, insanity, and so on. It’s most definitely a product of its time.

Plus it’s called “Hellstorm” instead of “Hellstrom.” Scout’s honor, I didn’t notice the difference until my editor pointed it out.

Maximum Hellstorm (2006-2007)

Ah, Marvel MAX. The days when Marvel decided to give R-rated comics a shot and just threw everything at the wall. Hellstorm: Son of Satan was one of them, going for five issues. By this point, we’re in the mid-00s, so Hellstrom has a more down-to-earth look and is constantly talking to his father on a cellphone and tries so hard not to remind us what he looked like in the 70s and 80s.

But because it’s Marvel MAX, it means that his adventure is filled with lots of curse words, ultra-violence, gross demon boobs, and explicit Jesus imagery you normally wouldn’t see in a comic like this.

While the whole “Hellstrom messes with Egyptian underworld deities” storyline is a bit high concept, it still feels more like the new Hulu show than anything else.

Zombie Slayer (2009)

Speaking of gritty Marvel trends, there’s Marvel Zombies! While the initial Ultimate Fantastic Four storyline and the first two volumes of Marvel Zombies dealt with the happenings of a doomed universe, the next few volumes went slightly more uplifting. After all, sometimes you need to have people to root for who can back it up.

In Marvel Zombies 4, the Black Talon and the Hood (under the influence of Dormammu) try to use the decapitated head of Zombie Deadpool (otherwise known as Headpool) to bring forth the zombie apocalypse in the regular Marvel universe. Yes, we actually have canon stakes this time.

To prevent this, we have the Midnight Sons, made up of Son of Satan, Morbius, Jennifer Kale, Werewolf by Night, and Man-Thing. It’s an incredibly badass group working through an incredibly badass adventure. Too bad the team doesn’t last.

On a similar note, around this time there was a miniseries called the Last Defenders where Son of Satan was a major character. It’s just that by the time the team came together, they were an immediately-forgotten afterthought, so there’s no use in giving it its own entry.

Ghost Riders in the Sky (2009-2010)

Jason Aaron had a really, really, really great run on Ghost Rider. Most definitely read it. It’s pure grindhouse and I love it.

The whole run finished with Ghost Riders: Heaven’s on Fire. This culmination featured Johnny Blaze and Danny Ketch working together against a corrupt angel, the anti-Christ, and a group of villains from earlier in the run teaming up.

At least they have Daimon Hellstrom there to help out. Unfortunately, Hellstrom looks outright goofy with a bald head and Fu-Manchu mustache. The story brings back Jaine, his EXTREME love interest from the 90s series who he ended up with after his relationship with Patsy went very south.

Anyhow, Jason Aaron’s Ghost Rider run. Read it!

Strikeforce (2019-2020)

Much like how X-Men had X-Force as the team that would do the really dirty work, Avengers had a spinoff team called Strikeforce. Made up of Winter Soldier, Angela, Blade, Spider-Woman, Wiccan, and Spectrum, the team soon brought Hellstrom into the fold. Which is just as well, since he was working for Baron Zemo for a little while and really needed to get his head back on straight.

Unfortunately for Hellstrom, 1) he retained his bald look from Heaven’s on Fire and 2) the series didn’t last all that long. Only nine issues, sadly. Eh, it was fun while it lasted.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

At least he’s joining the Savage Avengers next! And they’re giving him his hair back!

The post Helstrom: The Comic History of Marvel’s Son of Satan appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/31dX5KF

[finn-2187]

alright here it is, the basics of my au plus art.... under the cut so you dont have to see it if you dont want to

k so first off this au take place during like the end of rebels through a few years post ROTJ. also a everybody lives au so its more happy. 

ok so basically the oc i made for the au is this boy right here:

he is the son of kallus and zeb ok. hes half human half lasat and he is a himbo and he likes to pick people up when he hugs them. he loves his dads and his friends.

well thats him as an adult, but for most of this au he is going to be in this little group here as a child:

left to right: ben solo (13), poe dameron (14), my oc who doesnt have a name yet if anyone wants to help out w that (14), finn skywalker (12), rey skywalker(9).yes i changed all thier birth years basically and no i do not give a shit. also poe has bleached tips because my little brother whos the same age does too and if theres a latine character i will project my family onto them and thats that on that.

so basically wedge antilles and luke skywalker got married becasue idk if you have noticed but wedgeluke is my favorite ship and so it has to be in every au.... so theyre married and they adopt 2 kids and those kids are rey and finn they rescue both of them from stormtrooper recruiting ppl so yeah. ben is emo, but he is an alright kid. r*ylo is non existent bc they're cousins. finnpoe will happen when they get a bit older like in their early 20s. poe has his old backstory with his awesome x wing mom back so luke and wedge are his godparents. here take some art of wedge and luke w rey in modern clothes. why? becasue i wanted to draw it:

they all grow up togetehr in the end of the rebellion and the emergence of the new republic and they all live together becasue i mean i dont think anyone wants to just fuck off onto whatever planet and be alone w/o thier friends after all this, with the exception of a few things like zeb and kallus went to lira san but came back to raise thier son with a bunch of other kids around his age bc i mean its probably better for him and zeb reads parenting books so he is concerned with that type of thing. and ben will go to lukes school but yeah. anyways the rebels crew and the OT crew and ya know what the R1 crew too are friends and try to give advice to the kids and stuff. me and my friend talked abt teen!finnpoe and like poe and my oc going around asking the adults how they got together and the couples are like. han/leia, wedge/luke, hera/kanan, zeb/kallus, sabine/my friends lady mandalorian oc, ezra/tristan...... like none of these couples knew how to flirt or anything they were all disasters so no one has any advice ad force ghost anakin is like have you tried floating a pear but poe doesnt have the force so like uncle lando drops in to give advice but its not age appropriate so the other adults r like bro stop. anyways. this au im gonna make connect to my other idea which was that instead of worsipping darth vader, ben looks up to anakin and sees how even after going to the dark side he was able to redeem himself and be good so even tho he is being pulled to the dark he looks to anakin for support so he can try to be like him, hes still gonna turn evil but he will turn good again in the end but that happens later so all thats importnant for this little au here is that ben likes to listen to my chemical romance. finn and rey are the best siblings and rey looks up to her older brother sm and he is always trying to look out for her. theyre both force sensitive so theyre both training to be jedi too. ok that might be everything so far but if i think of more ill reblog this post and add on. if you read this i love you omg and i hope you like my oc and my au even tho its purely self indulgent and i changed basically everything just to have this sappy cutesy au

[sunflowersteves]

You Can’t Have Roses Without Thorns || ch. one

summary || Colossus makes you go to a superhero support group. You hate the idea of being in the same room as those lameos until a certain someone shows up late to the meeting. 

author’s note || Lol she’s basically Deadpool, ik. anyway, I hope you enjoy!!

warning || some angst, swearing, mentions of depression

“Y/N, I think it would be good for you.” Colossus’ thick accent rings through your ears as you groan in annoyance. Today, on a luscious fun-filled, emptied planned Friday, he wanted you to go to a support group for superheroes because he thought you “needed the help.” and well, he was most likely correct.  

“Y/N-” He starts but you’ve already stopped listening. he was going into a heartfelt speech about superhero things and how much you mean to him and blah blah blah. It was the same one every time, his metal body shone against the light protruding out the window. 

Normally, he would stop and expect you to respond but this time he just kept talking. “Look, you’ve been acting depressed lately, I'm guessing it’s because you have an immortal life, and I just think that you should talk to others who understand you better.” You sighed flopping onto the couch, arms facing up. He looked at you to keep talking but you interrupted him. “Alright, alright. I’ll go. So annoying.” 

Colossus shoots a bright smile at you as you give him an eye roll. “You’re an asshole.” You muttered under your breath. “Yeah, yeah. You know you love me, Y/N.” You scoff but none the less smile a little. Now, don’t get yourself wrong. You love Colossus, he’s your best friend, your family but sometimes he can be such a parent. “It starts at 7, don’t be late.”

- - 

But of course, you were late. 10 minutes, actually. You liked to be fashionably late, making your grand entrance and in this case, the depressing entrance was your thing. You opened the doors, stuffed your hands in your jean jacket pockets and sat down in one of the chairs. Looking around you saw a bunch of superheroes that ranged from avengers to neighborhood heroes. 

To your left was Luke Cage, next to him was Valkyrie, and next to her was Bruce Banner, and next to him was Wolverine, then again next to him was Captain America who seemed to be running the whole team, and next to him was some kid Patrick? Preston? Peter? Who knows. Then there was an empty seat next to the kid and you. You raised an eyebrow, wondering who was more fashionably late than you were. 

Once you sit down, Steve greets you and the others nod your way. You sigh, wanting this to be over as soon as possible. Steve talked, for the most part, occasionally another hero would jump in with a comment. 10 minutes had passed and you were already bored out of your mind. you thought it had been an hour already, you groaned looking at the time.

Steve interrupted his own self. “Look, Y/N, you clearly don’t want to be here. Honestly-” He was again interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Women with dark red hair, fierce eyes, and she had on a black suit. Looking at her face, she had some cuts and bruises, she clearly came back from a mission. You figured she was Black Widow. She was very attractive, and this very much caught your attention. 

Steve’s eyes widened, “Nat. Glad you could make it.” She sighed, taking the last seat which was next to yours. “Only doing this because you’re making me Rogers.” He scoffed and was about to argue until he realized where he was and went back to the professional Captain America. 

He continued to talk, and again only a few interjecting some of their own comments. The only two who hadn’t spoken yet was you and Natasha. Steve eyed you, wondering why you were even here if you’re going to be another silent Natasha. 

“So, Y/N. Would you like to talk about why you’re here?” You sighed, it was inevitable that he was going to ask you to speak. Why not get it over with, “Well, you know the usual. Had stage four cancer, tortured into superpowers, and now I'm immortal and you know, Cap, the impending doom of watching all of the people I care about slowly dying of age. So yes, Steve, I would love to continue to talk about the major negatives of being immortal.” 

You lightly smiled and tilted your head slightly to the side, dyed platinum blonde hair brushing against your cheeks. Natasha snorted at your passive-aggressive comment towards Steve. And if she was being honest with herself, she found you pretty attractive. 

“Okay, I get it. You don’t want to talk...yet.” Steve snickered to himself as you rolled your eyes. Natasha smirked but she continued to stay silent. Time went on, with the occasional comments from other heroes and the meeting finally ended. As you got up, wanting to leave as quickly as possible. 

You walked out into the lobby, converse periodically squeaking on the tiled floor, thinking about how Colossus would run this support group and you laughed to yourself at the superhero bullshit he would say––honestly not far off from goody goody Captain America. 

You hear the clicks of boots walk behind you, the sound getting closer each time. You watch as Natasha passes by you, she turns and her curled hair spins while it fans perfectly around her face. 

“See you next week, Y/N.” 

-- 

You walked into the X-men mansion, tossing your keys onto the kitchen’s marble counter. Colossus rushed into the room asking you many questions about the support group, he was bombarding you with his Russian accent. 

“No, I didn’t like it. No, I didn’t really talk. No, the others don’t exactly get me like you thought I would.” Colossus lowered his head as every no came out of your mouth. He solemnly sighed, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made you-” You cut him off, facing his metaled body.

“But I didn’t... hate it so I’m going next week,” Colossus shouted with glee which made you frown. He continued to celebrate as you came as frustrated as an old man. “Don’t get cocky, Smirnoff.” 

[quarterfromcanon]

27-29 for the get to know my favorites game

Hello, lovely! Thank you for these. :) Trios turned out to be a surprising challenge (I apparently have more favorite groups of four than three), but I’m pretty happy with the ones I remembered after giving it some thought. The final picks are under the cut! <3

Top 5 BROTPs

1. Paula Proctor & Rebecca Bunch (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) - Naturally, this was the immediate choice that sprang to mind. It’s the first relationship on the show I really fell in love with, and it’s the one friendship in the series that consistently tugs on my heartstrings. It’s flawed, complicated, and messy but the genuine connection underneath it all is strong enough that I’m hopeful they can work through their problems. I would’ve preferred to see more emphasis on that effort in the fourth season (and a lot more work on Rebecca’s friendships with Heather and Valencia as well), but I want to believe things improved between them after the finale. 

2. Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley (Stranger Things) - The general public opinion of Steve Harrington has been on such a journey since Season 1, bringing him now to a status of common fan favorite. As such, I think a delicate balance needed to be struck in finding a suitable match to team up with him on adventures. This person needed to:

A) Have good chemistry in their interactions with Steve

B) Bring a new dynamic to the table that he didn’t already have with an existing connection 

and most importantly 

C) Be a unique and engaging character that the audience would care about individually, so they didn’t get lost in simply being an offshoot of Steve’s story. They couldn’t be relegated to perpetual sidekick with little else to define them.

As far as I’m concerned, Robin Buckley fits the bill on every account. She’s artistic, resilient, loyal, and - especially endearing to me - a movie buff. She has a quick wit, a sharp mind, and a big heart. Being friends with Robin helps Steve take the specter of his high school self less seriously so he can put it behind him, and she helps him more fully embrace the person he’s becoming in the wake of that lost status. Having Steve for a friend helps Robin resolve some lingering emotional scars from school as well. It gives her an opportunity to share her authentic self with a peer and - to her relief and ours - find acceptance after revealing a pretty important secret. I can’t wait to watch the two of them be adorably nerdy and goofy bros at Family Video in Season 4, presumably with some daring fights against dark forces when they’re off the clock. Does saying I hope Kali comes to Hawkins somehow and bonds with one or both of them mean I can speak that into existence? I’m doing that now. It’s worth a try. If it happens in some capacity when the time comes, know that I will throw a One Blogger Party of epic proportions. 

3. Wynonna Earp & Nicole Haught (Wynonna Earp) - I had to use this specific screencap because it perfectly encapsulates the chaotic energy that makes me loves these two together so much. Their separate approaches to their shared work environment are at pretty much polar opposite ends of the spectrum, but they make a pretty solid team when they play to each other’s strengths and communicate. They also both love Waverly most of all, so it feels like they were bound to work out their differences eventually since neither would want to make her feel torn between her sister and her girlfriend. The hijinks they get up to in each other’s company are just top shelf. I look forward to at least a little bit of fun like that from every season. If I wind up having a lasting partner later on down the road, it’d be cool if their personality balanced well with my sister’s on this level. I’d also be really happy if I ultimately gelled with her person in a way that sounded unlikely at first but worked. Fingers crossed for both outcomes, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

4. Emily Thorne [Amanda Clarke] & Nolan Ross (Revenge) - I have two things to quickly clarify for those who are unfamiliar with this show.

#1 She has two listed names because she was born Amanda Clarke but goes by Emily Thorne for most of the series to hide her true identity. 

#2 Despite the impression this picture may give, Nolan is not marrying Emily; he is simply walking her down the aisle. 

These two are there for each other through so much - the looming threat of discovery, jail time, capture, near death experiences, heartbreak, the passing of loved ones, etc. - and they make it to the other side with a deep bond the likes of which they’ll never experience with another person. It is at times heavily one-sided because of how much drama Emily deliberately dives into, but it’s something that she tries to make up for during her more self-aware and less self-involved times. There’s genuine love and mutual respect there by the finale and it’s really gratifying to witness the journey they’ve taken together. 

[~Slightly spoiler-y closing statement after these brackets~] I was pretty sure I knew where the show was going with romantic ships by the end. I knew for certain it wasn’t my personal OTP for her because they’d already killed that person off quite some time ago. There was a part of me that could’ve found some contentment in leaving the story with these two as a couple. After all, one of my favorite ship dynamics is Reluctant Acquaintances to Best Friends to Lovers, but it was not to be. That being said, the platonic friendship they shared was a big part of the heart of the show and I cherish it for that. Nolan was a rare exception for Emily, a genuine bond formed in the years when she was tried to operate like her heart was made of stone. I also think working with Emily gave Nolan a sense of purpose and let him flourish in his area of expertise. I’m not sure how either of them would feel about the musical reference but, to slightly paraphrase from Wicked: because they knew each other, they have been changed for good.

5. Penelope Stamp & Bang Bang (The Brothers Bloom) - I have seen Rachel Weisz and Rinko Kikuchi in more roles since this movie than I had prior to watching it for the first time so, if anything, my fangirling over this friendship has gotten worse rather than more manageable. x) This post classified the film under the subgenre whimsical noir. It turns out that’s a style I instantly adore every time I stumble upon it. One of the titular brothers, Stephen, lives so deeply immersed in the variations of the world he writes for their heists that even those closest to him are essentially characters he can interact with on a daily basis. His feelings for them as people can get very muddled with his feelings for them as interesting OCs to move through narratives. A big trouble with this is that his living archetypes can often get reduced to clichés. He’s not always mindful of their nuances or allowing for the full range of their autonomy. Penelope is selected by Stephen to serve as the “manic pixie dream girl” who will be his brother Bloom’s forever love and Bang Bang is essentially presented as a “dragon lady” stereotype. I haven’t done a rewatch in years so I may be giving the movie too much credit here, but I remember this choice feeling at least semi-deliberate. It could be interpreted as a way to illustrate how Stephen warps real life to fit his vision. At least, I can definitely remember scenes that felt like they debunked the one-note assessments of these two. What I genuinely love, though, are the little moments when Penelope and Bang Bang are able to just spend time together with little to no interference from Stephen or Bloom. They share their hobbies and teach each other new skills. It feels like they truly perceive one another as whole human beings on a level that neither guy is capable of doing since they’re both so immersed in the drama of the plot. When the women are with each other, they get to be more than an extension of the men who maneuver them; they get to be themselves. Penelope is the only one Bang Bang clearly wants to maintain contact with once the heist is finished. I think that says a lot. Honestly, this is another BROTP that could slide to OTP. If someone wrote fic of them completely severing ties with the brothers and going off on their own - romantically or platonically - I wouldn’t be upset at all. 

Top 5 Trios

1. Luke, Leia, & Han (Star Wars Episodes IV - VI) - Oh dear, I’m overwhelmed just looking at a picture of them together. Star Wars has been a part of my life since childhood. Getting to watch the original trilogy felt like a rite of passage (when I was really little, Mom used to find things for us to do outside the room while Dad watched because she was afraid some of it might scare me). Princess Leia resounded with me on a level that almost no other fictional royalty has ever quite matched. Han’s wardrobe is still some serious #aestheticgoals and I would 100% wear replicas of his jackets and vests if I had them. I also remember thinking that Luke’s new look in Return of the Jedi was SO COOL with the all-black wardrobe and green lightsaber. Wow, imagine that, an edgy costume change that shared vibes with the common Disney villain color palette called to me as a baby fan of antagonists and antiheroes! Who ever could have foreseen that sudden spike in appreciation? :P Anyway, one of my lingering sorrows about the more recent trilogy is that we never got to see all three of them as aged adults in each other’s company. I still wanted our new cast to get their time to shine, of course, but I do lament the absence of at least one little trio reunion.

2. Luna, Neville, & Ginny (Harry Potter series) - The Silver Trio, pictured here with the first set of three that comes to mind when thinking about the books and movies. I do still love Harry, Ron, and Hermione, but I’ve found a growing appreciation for this other team-up over the years. They’ve been through a lot too, even if they are not always present where the main action is. Bullying, loss of parents, manipulation of the mind and body, abuse at the hands of authority figures - they’re all left with internal (and probably external) scars to bear. There’s also something to be said for how strong they all were in the school year set during Deathly Hallows, when the Golden Trio wasn’t around to inspire and unite those who wanted to stand up to ever-increasing tyranny. It can be easy, unfortunately, for them to get written off based on the oversimplified stereotypes that have gotten associated with them. People remember Luna as being weird and spacey, Neville as awkward and hapless, and Ginny as bland and lovestruck. They’re all far more nuanced than that, and they accomplish great things while fighting for and beside their friends. I’m planning on doing a re-read of the books at some point, and I really look forward to revisiting these brave kids.

3. Irma, Marion, & Miranda (Picnic at Hanging Rock) - Ah, yes, my very recently discovered darlings. I have many thoughts about them all. I’ll try to keep this as condensed as I can while still making sense. Some spoilers will follow, although those won’t answer every question the story poses. There are audience members who ship the above characters as a throuple, which I totally get, but for me it’s like soulmates of a different kind. These three have met at a point in their lives when they all burn with compatible intensity. They long for the same dream version of youth, for a way to begin life free from the confines of a world that won’t accept all their hearts contain. While the people that surround them may not be willing to bend the rules, nature itself appears to show them mercy. How often do we see a story of girls who just... love other women so much that a sacred location goes, “Y’know what? I’m gonna help you escape your restrictive society. Permanently.” This miniseries definitely depicts the setting as being involved in messing with the investigation, as a mystical place that befuddles unwanted intruders. I love the way these three fortify each other in times of pain and fear, and there’s something deeply moving about how standing side-by-side helps them defy the odds.

4. Sarah, Alison, & Cosima (Orphan Black) - Okay so, technically, when I picture our core team in this show, the net is a little wider. My mind tends to also include Felix, Mrs. S., Kira, Helena, Donnie, Delphine, and Scott. However, I think you could kinda argue that those characters have a stronger connection to one of the above three than they do to the other two. Thus, this ends up being the central triangle. They’re all such solid performances and the fact they’re all played by the same person is incredibly impressive (not to mention the, like, twelve other clones Tatiana brings to life throughout the series). Watching them go from tense strangers to sestras was wonderful. I’m glad they had each other through the increasingly complicated web of lies and schemes they had to unravel and survive. 

5. Galavant, Sid, & Isabella (Galavant) - Remember how James Marsden was in Enchanted? If you dialed down the deliberately cartoonish quality of that performance and allowed for more not-so-G-rated humor, I feel like you’d have a general sense of what Galavant is like as a character. Sid is his squire and Isabella is a princess whose mission happens to combine with Galavant’s, albeit fueled by different driving motivations. They find themselves involved in a lot of shenanigans because of Galavant - even in his own universe, he’s into the whole dashing knight thing more than is strictly necessary - but they make a fun little team to follow through the world of this musical television series. I’ve gotten fuzzy on the details since I watched it air live four years ago, but I remember the series being enough of a summer feel-good time that I’d be game to revisit the show again someday.

Top 5 Family Relationships

1. Stevie Budd & The Roses (Schitt’s Creek) - The whole fish-out-of-water setup for this series was already pretty fun in and of itself, especially given how outlandish their lifestyles evidently were before the show begins. The thing that makes it special, though, is how the absence of all their expensive distractions finally helps them prioritize being a family. The Roses do a lot of work to reconcile who they were with who they find themselves becoming in the present. It’s sweet to see them collectively conclude that growing closer to each other is one of the few things they do not regret in the slightest. They also silently agree to adopt Stevie along the way and, boy, does that give me a lot of Big Feelings, particularly in the later seasons.

2. River Song & The Ponds (Doctor Who) - I think it’s been like seven years or so, give or take, since I watched Doctor Who with any regularity. These three have resurfaced in my mind many times since then. They all love with such fierce and unwavering devotion, spanning lifetimes. It’s fascinating - and often heartbreaking - to learn about the things they’ve experienced and endured. Oh gosh, and once the show reveals how River’s story overlaps with theirs, and you pay attention to how she looks at them, IT HURTS but it’s so engaging to watch. The emotions are all flooding back just remembering them now. Argh, what great characters... </3

3. The Tico Sisters (Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi) - Rose appears in two installments of the third trilogy, but this is the episode that has both Tico daughters. We never get to see them interact onscreen in the film, but I still feel the bond between these sisters so intensely. I found out later that Kelly was present for the filming of Paige’s death scene (which happens so early in the movie that it doesn’t feel like a big spoiler - please forgive me if it is). I’m glad that was something they decided to do behind-the-scenes, because it definitely informs Rose’s grief. She’s sitting in the dark, picturing her big sister’s final moments with such horribly vivid detail that it feels like she was there, and yet she can’t do anything to change how it ends. The shape of the sisters’ necklaces immediately establishes that they were a unit even when acting independently, that they felt like two halves of a whole - all they had left of their family. Now there is only one, and that fact is a weight around Rose’s neck both figuratively and literally. It serves as a visual reminder of how she carries Paige’s absence always, trying to discover and embrace who she is on her own while still honoring the memory of a relative she loved so deeply. I think she reaches the end of Episode VIII feeling like she’s someone of whom her sister would be quite proud. I’m very proud of her, too. 

4. The Tyler Siblings (Wonderfalls) - Jaye is comically different than the rest of her family, and the show establishes that right out the gate when we learn that she’s the only one whose name doesn’t rhyme with the rest (left to right, the others are Karen, Sharon, Darrin, and Aaron, respectively). Her relationships with her parents could certainly lead me off on some analytical tangents but, predictably, it’s the sibling stuff that interests me more. I think it could be said that all three do more living inside their heads than they do out in the world, and that they’ve all grown up to be borderline loners (Ironically Jaye, who is considered the most troubled, is the only one I remember being shown to have formed and maintained a friendship). Aaron’s a very philosophical and analytical person, so you get the sense he talks to himself more than to others, although he still manages to resurface from those deep contemplations so he can goad and tease his sisters from time to time. Sharon is high-strung, competitive, and brings that “disaster lesbian” energy to basically every social interaction she has. Jaye’s standoffishness seems to stem from both the difficulty of fitting in with people and the fear that connections will fall apart once they manage to form at all. They’re all just messes trying to make the best out of the situations they face, and I appreciate that. I also enjoy how prominently the Jaye and Sharon sister bond features throughout the show’s only season. It starts out on pretty rocky ground, but they grow a lot in regard to how willing they are to communicate and express their love for one another. 

5. The Brothers Proctor (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) - The family dynamics in their house are in need of some serious work, without a doubt. I’m just really touched by how close these two have become without Paula’s notice. It’s possible they always were, in that we-fight-but-we-care way that siblings can often be, but the supportive side of that really moves to the forefront as they get older in the series and it warms my heart. There’s such a glaring difference between The Household As Paula Views It and Things That Are Happening While She’s Not Paying Attention. I can’t help using fic as a way to explore that. I happily find excuses for her sons to make pop-in appearances, just to check up on them. I'm so pleased that, as of Season 4, they seem to have become fairly well-adjusted in spite of everything. Oh, and I am still not over the revelation that they attend renaissance festivals together, in character, for fun. What precious cuties who would no doubt dislike me referring to them as such! Paula, please give them an extra hug from me! 

[thatdisneydame]

The Rise of Skywalker

This is a FULL review so do not read this if you do not want spoilers. To read a basic review please go HERE. 

To give a quick backdrop of the state of mind I am in while writing this review, it is 2 AM the night after watching The Rise of Skywalker. I have been thinking of only TRoS since walking out of the theater, trying to process and absorb all my feelings about it. In general, I give this movie an 8/10 or 4 out of 5 death stars. While I wholeheartedly enjoyed the movie I still had some small issues that just added up. Edit* after watching it again 48 hours later, I have changed my review to 8.8/10 or 4.4 out of 5 death stars.

In my previous review, I mentioned that the pacing was very quick. The movie opens up with Kylo Ren absolutely destroying everyone and everything in his way to get a Sith Wayfinder. We immediately see that Kylo Ren is on his way to a new planet called Exegol where Sheev Palpatine is “alive,” but literally looks like a zombie marionette. IMMEDIATELY Palpatine welcomes Kylo Ren. Palpatine has been expecting him and how he has been controlling Ren from the beginning. He was Vader’s voice that Kylo heard, he was Snoke and now as a returned Emperor he will give Kylo Ren all the resources, a sith fleet, he needs to make the First Order the Final Order and kill Rey. I am going to just digress for a moment here and say that by the end of this series of events maybe fifteen minutes have passed in the movie and that includes the opening crawl. The crawl did nothing to prepare me for Palpatine to be the way he was and let me tell you that he looked terrifying. His body looked like it was decaying, he was missing fingers, his eyes were clouded over and he was literally being hoisted around like a puppet. 

Palpatine then tells Kylo Ren that if he truly wants to rule the galaxy, he needs to kill the girl (Rey), but to beware because she is not who Kylo thinks she is.

Continuing, we then find out that there is a message from a mole in the First Order which is retrieved by Poe and Finn on the Falcon. But where is Rey you might ask? Rey is being trained by Leia and our first shot of Rey is one of my favorites of her. Rey has been spending her time trying to connect with all the Jedi of the past by levitating herself and a bunch of rocks while she meditates. I do not do the shot justice, but in just a couple of seconds, the audience sees how powerful she has gotten. When she doesn’t connect and gets mopey about it, Leia does the coach thing and lets Rey take the Jedi equivalent of a lap which she does, but fails due to flashes of memories and visions of her childhood and a very brief glimpse of Dark Side Rey. Rey is very put off by this and gives Leia Luke’s lightsaber saying she has to earn the saber. Transmission over the radio from the mole signifies the start of rising action, the introduction of the Final Order and the total destruction of the remaining free systems. The resistance freaks out over the return of Palpatine “how is he back?” “Cloning, lol IDK.” We don’t really get an answer so my answer is, the dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. Well now the resistance needs to find him and nobody knows where...except Rey because she has been reading Luke’s diary. She says she doesn’t know where to find him, but she knows how because Luke was looking for a sith Wayfinder too and she will find (and kill) Palpatine with or without Leia’s blessing.

Flash forward to the desert where there is a dagger that can lead Chewbacca, C-3PO, Rey, Finn, and Poe to the Wayfinder. Rey heals a new creature, whose name I can not think of right now, which thanks to The Mandalorian ep 7 we know is a light side/Jedi ability which allows them to escape sinking sands and escape on a ship. This is also important for later in the movie. Well, the ship happens to be the same ship that Rey’s parents left on when she was a child. Also, this ship was captained by a sith sympathizer. Just as Rey, Finn, Poe, C-3PO, and Chewbacca start to leave Rey senses Kylo Ren coming in his tie fighter and waits for him. During this time the First Order has captured Chewbacca and the dagger and taken him on a transport ship. Rey uses the force to keep the ship from entering the atmosphere and Kylo simply plays with her and just starts using the force to propel the ship higher. Rey becomes enraged and OH MY GOD SHOOTS LIGHTNING OUT OF HER HANDS AND CAUSES THE SHIP TO EXPLODE! Sidebar: when Rey did that I was so absolutely shaken. I was both amazed by her ability and vexed that she had killed Chewbacca. In my other review, I said that some scenes seemed longer than they needed to be. Watching it, at the moment, I was wondering when something was going to happen because it felt like they could have continued their game of push and pull for the rest of the movie. Looking back I believe that scene was the perfect length. While the whole desert sequence maybe seemed/was too long, the build-up to Rey’s force lightning was perfect BECAUSE it was taking longer. You start thinking this is taking fore-OH, MY GOD!  EDIT* after watching it a second time the scene was shorter than I thought, but the first time I watched it, it felt like triple the time it actually was. The whole desert sequence, in my opinion, lasted too long.

Well with Chewbacca dead and no knife, the group must travel to a different planet to visit a black market droid hacker to retrieve the translation of the sith runes stuck in C-3PO’s memory. Well, why doesn’t C-3PO just tell them the translation? Because it would make the movie 20 minutes shorter and not require two other characters. Just kidding. C-3PO’s programing is forbidden to translate restricted languages i.e sith runes. This will cause a total memory wipe though. They go through with it and have to escape the planet because the Knights of Ren and Kylo Ren are coming. As they start to head out Rey senses Chewbacca on Kylo’s Star destroyer. He’s alive. There is dramatic irony because we, the audience, saw that Chewbacca survived because of the second craft in the desert. The group and a newly rebooted C-3PO go to Ren’s Star Destroyer.

Once there they split up. Rey goes to find the knife which she feels she needs while Poe and Finn go to find Chewbacca. The knife is in Ren’s chambers. Just as she finds it, Kylo and Rey connect via the force, Ren is on Kijimi while Rey is on the destroyer. Kylo taunts Rey about her lineage and if she still counts the days since her parents left her. While she fires back asking if he still sees his father. It gets to be too much for Rey and they start a really cool fighting sequence where we see just how powerful their connection is. They accidentally destroy a pedestal with Vader’s helmet and Kylo figures out where she is, he is going to tell her exactly who her parents are. Meanwhile, Poe and Finn managed to break Chewbacca out but were captured. They are about to be executed when Hux takes a blaster from a trooper saying he wants to do it. We hear three shots and the camera turns to Hux and three dead troopers to which he says “I’m the spy!” Finn and Poe are blown away. Hux takes them to where they are keeping the Falcon but tells Finn to shoot him in the arm. Finn shoots him in the leg. Finn asks why he’s helping. “I don’t care if you win, I need Kylo Ren to lose.”

Cut to Rey and Kylo Ren confronting each other on the destroyer. Rey is ready to fight, but Kylo is not fighting, he’s here to give her the news. She should join him, they are a dyad in the force, two parts of the same element. Her parents weren’t nobody but chose to be. Her parents sold her to protect her from her grandfather. Rey’s father was the so of Palpatine. Rey is a Palpatine. Kylo asks for her to join him, but she refuses and Poe and Finn show up with the Falcon allowing the whole group to escape.

We then see Hux on the bridge reporting to Pryde about how and why Finn and Poe escaped. Pryde seems calm and orders the people around him to alert the supreme leader. He then snatches a blaster out of a trooper’s hand turns and kills Hux. “We found the spy.” I thought this was very anticlimactic for Hux’s character.

The group heads toward the Endor system to find the Wayfinder as 3P0 said it would be there. The group crash lands and gets the help of former first order troopers. Rey, being impatient and more resolved than ever to rid the galaxy of Palpatine and the Sith takes a skimmer to the Death Star wreckage to find the Wayfinder. After climbing we see her in Palpatine’s throne room where she discovers a hidden door that leads to the Wayfinder. She is confronted by her dark side self who has filed teeth. She gets knocked out of the room, drops the Wayfinder and is confronted by Kylo Ren who tells her she can never go back for the same reasons he can’t go back. Rey is not going to be goaded and sternly tells him several times to give her the Wayfinder. He destroys it which causes Rey to attack. They have a spectacular fight, possibly one of my favorite fights in the entire saga. They are totally utilizing the force and doing moves we hadn’t seen. Eventually, Kylo gets the upper hand and is about to kill Rey when he sees a vision of his mother calling his name. He drops his saber, but Rey catches it and impales him as Leia dies. Rey sees what she’s done and retracts the saber. She heals Kylo Ren the same way she healed the serpent, telling him she did want to take his hand, Ben’s hand. She leaves in his tie fighter, leaving Kylo on the Death Star to mourn and contemplate.

Poe, Finn, Chewie, C-3PO, BB-8, and D-O make their way back to the Resistance Base where they demand to speak with Leia and are told she’s gone. Chewbacca has a heartbreaking reaction. Poe goes to pay respects to Leia and asks how she did it. Lando enters the room and tells him that they had each other, Luke, Han, Leia, and Lando. Poe realizes that he needs help and promotes Finn to general. The two of them begin preparations to confront the Final Order and the Sith Fleet.

Meanwhile, Kylo Ren is still on the Death Star thinking when he is confronted by the memory of Han. I was not expecting this at all and it was handled so well. The two mirror the conversation they had on the bridge of Star Killer base. Han tells him that while his mother is gone the beliefs she fought for are still there. “I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.” “Yes, you do.” Kylo Ren gets emotional, “Dad.” “I know.” He then turns and throws his lightsaber into the ocean, officially coming back to being Ben.

We then see Rey throwing logs onto a burning Tie Fighter, crying. She then takes out the lightsaber and chucks it into the flames, when Luke’s hand stretches out of the fire and catches it. He tells her a Jedi’s weapon deserves more respect. She tells him she is going to stay there forever like he did. Luke tells her he was wrong, that it was fear and that she doesn’t need to be afraid of who she is, Palpatine is just a name. Rey realizes Luke and Leia both knew who she was but trained her anyway because of her spirit, her heart. Luke then brings her to a hut where Rey discovers Leia’s lightsaber. Luke tells her that Leia gave it up when she sensed the death of her son but would be used again by someone else. Rey has no way of getting off the planet or finding Exegol to which Luke responds she has everything she needs. Rey goes back to the ashen Tie Fighter and retrieves the only remaining Wayfinder. Luke is then seen lifting his old X wing out of the water mirroring the attempt on Dagobah years before, instead this time Luke succeeds.

At this point, everything gets kicked into high gear. Rey goes to Exegol, the Resistance follows her signal. Rey goes to confront Palpatine. Who is ready and waiting for her. “Long have I waited for my granddaughter to come home.” He then says one of the coolest and bone-chilling lines in the whole movie. “Welcome Empress Palpatine.” Rey refuses to take the throne and become a sith, she will destroy the sith as a Jedi. Palpatine can sense her anger and hatred and tells her that’s what he wants because if she kills him with her hatred all the sith will pass on to her. Meanwhile, the Resistance is fighting the fleet with the planet-killing canons. Finn rides in on the backs of animals to fight and target the signal that was made to guide the fleet out. Ben shows up on Exegol ready to help. He runs into the Knights of Ren and fights them, getting his butt kicked due to his lack of a weapon. Palpatine shows Rey that her family is losing and the only way to stop it is to kill him. She reluctantly agrees knowing that this is the only way to save her friends. Rey and Ben sense each other and right as Rey is about to strike she sends the Skywalker lightsaber to Ben like a cool magic trick allowing him to defeat the Knights of Ren and Run to help Rey. Meanwhile, Lando has returned with Chewie on the Millenium Falcon and hundreds of ships answering the Resistance’s call for help.

Palpatine realizes he is going to get nowhere when Rey wields Leia’s old saber and Ben wields the Skywalker saber. Palpatine decides he is going to kill them. But while using the Force on them he gets healed and finds out they are a dyad in the Force. Two parts of a whole. There combined souls give Palpatine strength and he reforms and heals himself in a way that reverse mirrors the healing ability. Instead of giving life, he takes it. Rey and Ben collapse, appearing dead. He sits on the throne of the Sith and casts Force Lightning, causing all resistance ships to short circuit. Ben starts to stagger up but Palpatine uses the Force to throw the last Skywalker down a chasm in his own twisted sense of poetic justice. Rey opens her eyes and sees the destruction happening in the sky. She tries to connect with all the Jedi of the Past while we zoom past the fighting into the atmosphere and into space when we suddenly hear the voices of the past Jedi giving me major Avatar: The Last Airbender series finale vibes. They all call out to her telling her that they are with her as all the Jedi were with them, telling her to get up and fight. This is truly a beautiful scene, an emotional one that tugs at your childhood. Rey stands up, weak but ready to fight. Palpatine uses force lightning, just playing with her telling her she can’t defeat him, he is all the Sith. Rey uses Leia’s lightsaber to block the lightning with ferocity. She tells him “And I. I am all the Jedi.” she uses the Force to pull the Skywalker saber toward her and she crosses them and advances forward causing the lightning to redirect and as she gets closer Palpatine disintegrates like Thanos snapped his fingers. The Resistance has defeated the fleet by officially destroying the leading ship and take out the planet-killing cannons causing them to explode. 

Rey has completed the battle and retracts the sabers. She drops them one by one until she collapses. Dead. Finn senses it and suddenly stops and leans against a wall saying, “Rey.” I had been rooting for Rey since the beginning of the trilogy so this scene got me. I started getting tears in my eyes. Not because of the scene, but because she did it. Despite the odds being stacked against her more or less from the beginning. Because of the terrible life she lived before the events of TFA. We then hear Ben climb out of the chasm. How he survived, I do not know. He sees Rey’s body and begins to crawl to her as quickly as he can. He picks her up and cradles her while he tries to not cry. He then remembers the healing ability and heals her. She wakes up, smiles and calls him by his real name. “Ben.” They kiss, and Ben smiles, content with the way things turned out when he slumps over and we realize that Ben has died. In a really sweet moment, Ben and Leia’s bodies disappear simultaneously becoming one with the Force, at peace.

Rey and the Resistance meet back up with a tearful celebratory embrace amongst Finn, Poe, and Rey. Celebrations on various systems including Endor are seen. Chewie finally gets a medal, given to him by Maz.

The final scene of the movie is of Rey on Tattoonie at the Lars moisture farm where Luke grew up. She looks around and then buries Luke and Leia’s lightsabers deep in the sand. My first thought was ok so she did not just connect with all the past Jedi just to end the order by hiding the lightsabers. Then she pulled out another lightsaber. This is her own. She ignites it and it’s yellow/orange like Cal Kestis’ could be from fallen order. I’m uneasy about the color, but I’m just glad it’s still there nonetheless. A woman remarks that nobody has been at that farm for many years and wants her name. She says, Rey. The old woman probes more, “Rey who?” She looks in the distance and walking toward her are the force ghosts of Luke and Leia. “Rey Skywalker.” They smile lovingly at her. The final shot is Rey and BB-8 standing in front of a beautiful binary sunset. With that, the Skywalker saga comes to a beautiful full circle end.

I’ve read and watched some reviews where people were upset at Rey calling herself Skywalker. I loved it though. First of all, that’s what I wanted from the beginning, Rey Skywalker. But more importantly, it signifies that Rey got to choose her family. Rey chose to honor the people who took her in and loved her. Family is more than your blood. Rey Skywalker is so much better than Rey Palpatine. Rey Skywalker honors all the actions and sacrifices made by ALL the Skywalkers, Ben included. While I understand that some people did not like it, I personally did. 

I have questions though that were just not answered.

What was Finn going to tell Rey while they were in the sinking fields? EDIT*: It was revealed that Finn was going to tell Rey he is force sensitive and I like that a lot more than the idea of Finn telling Rey he loved her. I could see why people thought he was going to say that, but I like the idea of the Force Sensitivity more.

Now that there is no more First Order to fight, what will Poe and Finn do?

What will Rey do?

Where does Rey go?

Will Rey train Finn as a Jedi now that we know for sure he is force sensitive?

Will Rey train other Jedi inductees? 

If BB-8 is with Rey on Tatooine does that mean Poe is with her?

I do have a list of the things I did not like

The pacing- this could have easily been an Endgame length swan song and because JJ did so much to course correct from TLJ that we got so much information in such a short time. I needed a 4-hour long movie with slower parts to let my brain catch up. *EDIT* there are pretty credible rumors of a 185-minute cut and this is what I needed. Also, it makes it longer than Endgame at 181.

All the new characters that were introduced had such limited screen time. This goes with the above but a longer movie would have allowed more time for the new characters who I thought were so cool.

I’m going to get some serious hate here but...I did not like the Ben/Rey kiss. It seemed a bit much and a hug could have been so much more intimate in my opinion. Now, I hated Kylo Ren from the beginning, though he was plain evil, how he brought Rey back from the dead and died in her place was *kisses fingers* Que Bella, and an intimate hug would have pushed me over the top.

I wish Rey being Palpatine’s granddaughter was revealed later in the film. It could have hit harder and been a bigger shock. That knowledge in the back of my mind kept eating at me for the last two acts of the movie and sometimes it was all I could think about.

A list of things I absolutely loved

The lightning Rey shoots- just so freaking cool how she did that man. It was so unexpected.

The lightsaber fights. They seemed so different from the others.

“Empress Palpatine”-chills for days

The “match cut” shots of Han and Ben on the Death Star and how the scene was slightly different but ended in the total opposite of TFA. And MAJOR PROPS to the cast and crew keeping Harrison Ford’s part on the DL.

Leia and Ben dissolving like true Jedi

Daisy Ridley making me think she was actually dead for like 5 minutes. A+ acting.

Ben’s full smile.

Light Rey vs Darth Reydar

The force healing ability and the life-draining ability

“General.” “General.”

C-3PO. He kind of annoyed me the whole saga, but the comedic timing and the performance that was given was just so good.

ALL the Jedi speaking to Rey, I mean: Luke Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda, Qui-Gon Jinn, Mace Windu, Aayla Secura, Adi Gallia, Ahsoka Tano, and Kanan Jarus all telling Rey to get up. Just beautiful and helped tie all three trilogies, TV shows, and novels together.

The Force abilities we had not seen before in the main movies. Weirdly enough I also have a “problem” with this. I really like the new powers, but I wish we had seen them more evenly distributed over the trilogy or the whole saga. But in general, I loved them. They had a purpose and that made it worthwhile.

Ben becoming one with the Force.

“Rey Skywalker”- so nice. so beautiful.

The full circle. The Skywalker story starts on Tatooine and ends on Tatooine and I love how poetic it is. 

Things I would have done differently. Well, first let me begin by saying that anything I would have done differently is more or less of a minor change.

Rey’s lineage revealed- I’m still a little uneasy about her being a Palpatine, but I’ve accepted it. I just wish the reveal had been later, as I stated before. JJ having to reveal it early in the film is probably a way to undo/clarify what Rian Johnson did in The Last Jedi. 

I wish Rose had a bigger part. I like what they did with her, but I wish it was more. Rose’s character was more sure of herself and I liked that so much more than the character we met in The Last Jedi. I’m not saying she needed her own side mission, but a couple more scenes with her at the center would have been great. Maybe she is leading a meeting or getting a squad ready, I don’t know, but just a couple more scenes. Kelly got absolutely trashed because of how, in my opinion, poor her character was written and some more scenes like the way Rose is now would have had great fan turn around I believe.

There would be no Reylo. I do not and have not shipped Reylo ever in this whole trilogy. I still don’t. I will yield to the fact that there were canon feelings for each other. I, however, would not have had that. Ideally, everything would have been the same, but instead of kissing after Ben saved Rey, there would have been a platonic hug, a friendly but loving embrace between two people who have fought for the same ideals and have had a roller coaster of a relationship. I feel like it would have been more impactful and a MUCH harder punch to the gut when he dies. I didn’t ship Rey with anybody because she was one of those characters to me that didn’t have to have a male counterpart. I’m not a huge Marvel fan, but I thought the same about Black Widow. I just didn’t see a need for romance or a romantic relationship. 

Hux’s secret and death. Like Rey’s lineage being revealed I thought killing Hux so early may have been a mistake. The last scene with Hux before he was killed was extremely humerus and they could have kept something like it, but having General Pryde kill him after felt wasted. There were a lot of potentials. What I would have loved to have seen Hux sabotage something big, try to kill Pryde or whatever. I just thought it was an anticlimactic death, once it was said and done. The actual death came as a shock, but looking back I wish it had been more meaningful and bigger. This character had been built up to be one of the most “hated” characters and I just felt like his death should have been bigger and not just a shock.

The final battle. I wish it had lasted longer. This is supposed to be THE battle to end all battles. This is the conclusion of the Skywalker Saga and the final battle against Rey and Palpatine lasted like 15-20 minutes. I just wish it had been longer. Maybe a whole duel between Rey and Palpatine or Rey, Ben, and Palpatine.

The Jedi talking to her. I would have shown their astral bodies, their Force ghosts. The scene was beautiful in its simplicity, but to be able to see the Jedi would have been the icing on the cake. To see them give Rey their power to connect to the Force would have been very moving for many fans. Star Wars Theory on youtube has a pretty neat video about how that scene could have gone with the Force ghosts, I highly suggest you check it out.

Leia as a Jedi. While hardcore fans knew about this due to Legends, the casual fan would have been shocked. We saw Leia use the force in The Last Jedi, and I appreciate how JJ expanded on that. He did not leave anything unanswered. I do not know if that was ever going to make it into the mainstream movies i.e if this was going to be done all along, or if this was JJ’s answer to Leia using the Force in the Last Jedi, but I think it was done really well, and the CGI in that scene made me think I was looking at a young Mark and Carrie/ Luke and Leia. In general, this is a whole series “I would have done it differently.” We can keep Leia training to be a Jedi, but I would have planted that seed much earlier in the trilogy or even the saga. I think that the scene in TLJ would have gotten a better reputation if more seeds were planted.  

The final scene- I understand why it was Luke and Leia, but I would have loved to see the whole Skywalker clan up there. Anakin, Luke, Leia, and Ben all smiling lovingly at Rey, the adopted Skywalker. 

Before I conclude this review I want to make it clear about a few things. 

I am not getting anything from anyone for doing this, this is purely out of enjoyment and so people can read a review.

I feel like I have been bashing on The Last Jedi a lot in this review, and while I liked the TLJ as a movie, I did not like it as a Star Wars movie. It is one of my least favorite in the entire Star Wars franchise. BUT, if you liked it, awesome. That is the best part about Star Wars, people can have different opinions. Without those opinions, we wouldn’t have some of the discussions that we have brought up.

This film was not perfect. It had flaws, it had things I wanted to happen differently, it had parts I did not even want to happen. This movie was a well done, emotionally exhilarating, visually stunning work of art that showed the heart the whole team that works on the Skywalker Saga put into this film. This film was 42 years in the making and like a thank, you note to the fans. To be honest, it is hard for me to accept that this is the conclusion of a series that I have loved so much. It reminds me of when I finished Harry Potter or Percy Jackson and just couldn’t believe that this was the end. This is not to say that this is the last Star Wars movie. We know of an unnamed 4th Trilogy that Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni are rumored to be involved with after the success of The Mandalorian. Rian Johnson is rumored to be working on more Star Wars projects as well. This is not the end of Star Wars, but to me, it is still like saying goodbye to a friend. 

Please tell me what you thought of the film. Leave your responses. Do you agree or disagree with my opinions? I’d love to hear from you.