#I want to prove to my parents that I CAN make a living for myself but they won’t even give me a debit card so I can’t start my redbubble ye
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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space
i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !
#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post#like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide#which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone#> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won#i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare#and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that#but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it#so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything#if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again#i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable#i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people#like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation#again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good#person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make#>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be#when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be#im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry
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It’s 11pm but does anyone have any life advice for what to do when your abusive/neglectful parents are trying to force you into getting a job at their office just because they make a ton of money and don’t want the business to go into the hands of your older brother but you don’t personally care and literally just turned 18 and haven’t even started college yet
because
man what the fuck am I even supposed to do?
they’re trying to send me there tomorrow to learn about how the office works and everything and I GET IT it’s USEFUL but I don’t… want to do that. Especially with my family.
#I don’t normally vent on here but I seriously need some advice#I want to prove to my parents that I CAN make a living for myself but they won’t even give me a debit card so I can’t start my redbubble ye#I’m literally writing a novel!!! It’s pretty good!!! AND THEY DON’T FUCKING CARE!!!#Ughhhh sorry just. Man I hate my family#Except my brother he’s fine#The one who’s on Tumblr#My mom keeps telling us that she and dad could drop dead any day so we need to be ready to take over the business#Which. Ma’am. you call ME a pessimist and then just say shit like that???#Just realised my bestie is on tumblr now and might see this post… um. Hi Espurr if you’re reading this don’t worry 👍#I’m feeling very vaguely suicidal but not enough to do anything about it it’s okay I won’t um… try the stuff I’ve tried again#Tw abuse#tw suicide#tw neglect#DragonairIce Rambles
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#my dad tried to tell me ‘you work less hours than us so you should be doing more around the house’#as if working four hour shifts three days a week isn’t already causing flare ups for me#also I would love to be able to do more around the house! I’m not using my disability as an excuse to get out of chores#I genuinely want to prove to myself that I can take care of a living space for an extended period of time before I move out for good#and it sucks that I can’t do as much as I want to do!#and I know that my dad thinks it’s just a diet issue because he’s said it. out loud. today! but it’s not just that!#drinking water and getting enough sodium is a way of managing my pots symptoms but it does not make them go away completely and sometimes#they just get worse#and when he blames me for not drinking water when *I can’t stand long enough to grab a glass* he just makes things worse#like. sorry I’m dehydrated. I was trying not to pass out and give myself a concussion and break a cup or something. my apologies!#I’m so sorry that this has mildly inconvenienced you!#the funny thing is that I’m starting to get frustrated (finally) after years of dealing with this and he’s used to my sister fighting back#but not me. he is very much not used to me telling him he’s wrong. especially because I back myself up with what the doctors say#and he can’t say that the doctors were wrong because he’s been pointing to them from day one! so he just changes what he’s arguing about#the downside is that because I’m not used to arguing with him either I do end up giving up very quickly#because I don’t like arguing! I don’t like having to argue my lived experiences to someone! especially a parent!#i also don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to become my dad. I don’t want to be angry all the time#it scares me. the possibility of it scares me.#why can’t the world be kinder?
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#im really just ranting so pleasr ignore this post it really isnt that serious i just need to vomit it all out before i crash#i wish i knew who i was i wish i knew who i was going to be who i would havr been before everythong went to shit#before my parents beat my soul into submission before i retreated into myself so hard im killing myself just trying to come out again#i dont know who i am or what i want or even how to begin ttying any of that#my therapist started saying all the same things my dad would say abiut me and about my qork and about my life#id been with her for over 5 years so maybe she is right maybe my dad was right maybe my parents were right maybe i do deserve nothing#i hate my body but my partner says its beautiful i can barely face the day but my partner is happy when i do#they say my parents were wrong in so many ways but why is it taking me so long to prove it#ive been bad my whole life o was a bad kid a bad friend a bad adult but i wanna be goood so bad ii might puke#i know i can be good but why cant i prove it why is it stopping me why cant i push my my brain why cant i hit the override and just LIVE#its hard being 25 when i didnt think id make it to 15#its hard living when all you want to do is give up i want to give up i wish i could and maybe a few years ago i would have#but now for the first time in my life i want to live i want to do good but my brain body and soul have no idea how#i think im autistic and the worst part is realizing how much of me that is how much i should havr been cared for#i have to learn how to live in the world but the world is so scary and it hurts and my therapist talkrd a lot about getting used to it#she wanted me to dive in and didnt understand no matter how many qays i tried to explain to her how much it painrd me to try it her way#i wish i could just do it that i could grin and bear it but i cant anymore i cant just do it#i wish i could just become who i was supposed to be someone without the pain and the torture and the constant berating#someone who can have a job and cook dinner and still feel whole after it all#i jist want to live i want to be good i want to get better and i feel like peeling my skin off my body i feel like ripping out my teeth#it makes me feel awful every time i cant do sometbing because i was getting better i couod feel it and now im in hell this is worse#i feel like im experiencing depression for the first time all over again ivw never been so violently thrown bacj into the pit#please i want out i want to hear creaks without thinking someone is 8n my home i want to clean like someone isnt watching me#i want to move around my home like i dont expect to be graded i want to be able to sleep at night and not have tomorrow ruined by flashback#im so so tired and for the first time in my life o dont wanna give up i wanna be better but i dont know how#every time i try to get help something goes wrong and i run out of insurance soon so im probably just fucked#my antidepressants arent doing shit and my birth control makes everything harder and i jist wish i could take medication and live#im tired im tired but ive been crying in the bathroom for over an hour because sometbing so stupid triggered me#and now im a child again and i have work tomorrow and i cant scream and cry into my partner cause they have work#they work so hard for us and i can barely do a day im so fucking pathetic and yet they stay with me
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A list of all the things I have manifested ⋆˚⟡˖ ࣪
We manifest everything in our lives btw - the good and the bad which is why I will be including both to prove that the law does not discriminate. If you can successfully become poor, you can most definately become rich with the same ease because everything is just a state.
Long hair
AHH this is one of my favourite manifestations. Ever since I was young I had a weird bob with a fringe (often crooked) and I wanted long hair like all the other girls (lmaoo) but my mum was strict so she didn't let me grow it out. Although I didn't know about manifestation back then, every new year and birthday I would wish for long hair and I would pretend I was a princess with butt long hair. Guess what, somewhere along the line, my mum let me grow it out and now I have butt length hair (don't really know what to do with it tho </3).
As all kids do, I went through an emo phase where I chopped off like half of my hair like 4 years ago. I literally grew back 7-8" of hair within a month because my parents got too mad. I knew about manifestation here so I just assumed my hair always grows unaturally fast. Same with when I cut bangs, they grew past my chin within a couple of weeks.
Manifesting my way into a private school
Honestly this just shows that you dont need 2430430 hours of working on your self concept to manifest. Literally so many celebs, including Marylin Monroe (the queen), manifested their fame with awful self concept. Likewise, here I was possibly going through the worst time of my life back then. I would wake up at 8 am and start studying and end at 11 pm despite being only 10 at the time. I was so freaking stressed and envious of all the other children and went into a depressive spiral where my two options were pass or die. I didn't even have enough practice and I cried my self to sleep on most nights. Anyways, when i did the exam I was deathly calm and even after the exam I was apparently so chill so my parents thought I failed.
I literally left 9 questions on one paper but throughout the summer, everytime I found a dandelion I would make a wish and imagine digging a tunnel to the examiners room where I secretly change my answers into the right ones (lmfao my tiny 10 yr old brain - idek how it worked). Anyways my results were sent back to me a month later on a random October evening and I got a really high mark. Even after 7 years of going to this school I havn't met anyone who has gotten a mark higher than mine.
Curly hair / straight hair
Sigh. We always want things we don't have. When I was younger I had really straight hair like 1A asian hair but when I was like 10, I really wanted curly hair and I would try to curl it often. After a few months, I manifested a curling iron and my hair literally became naturally curly like right after a wash it would curly af when before it was dead straight. Naturally I grew bored of it and I wanted my straight hair back and for ages I began overcomplicating the law and struggled to manifest it. It was only recently when I actually let go of the 3D that I manifested the silky, shiny straight hair.
Social life?
This is also a funny one, just shows how easily you can manifest. So back in 2021 after lockdown I felt so lonely and felt so left out of my friendship group so after a few months I began stressing myself out and spiraling for like 30 minutes, sobbing to myself about how I was so lonely and how nobody loved me (💀). Anyways it became reality, I found myself uncomfortable in many social situations and found myself becoming forgotten far more easily. I don't really remember the details but it was so bad that I think I accidently manifested social anxiety (oh well we still up tho).
However I am a loa girly so I found myself listening to popularity subliminals and slowly (but surely) my mindset change from having no friends to being the most popular girl in the year. Like no joke I became friends with like 3 people from different social circles so at lunchtime we had to join up like 3 different tables so we can all sit together. Overall I got myself 20+ close friends and even my ex friends began to admire me although it had ended badly. Even now, when someone says something thats untrue - for example saying that they are dumb when they are not, they would be like "ahaha so its like when Rae (me) says she has no friends, the whole school knows who Rae is".
Clear skin
This was sort of in the beginning of my loa (law of attraction back then) journey, I just randomly found out what subliminals were and was still quite new to everything. Now I don't even understand how it happened but I had busted some capillaries under my skin and it looked like small red viens under my skin and bro I was freaking out at the time. One night I was like just, I had enough, I'm going to get myself better skin and so I listened to a sub once for 3-4 days and on like the 4th day, my cheeks began to heat up which was odd and the next day it was 90% gone. Just like magikkkk.
Desired university?
Guys. Feeling is the secret. Don't you ever forgot that - not feeling as in emotions but rather the feeling of knowing. I had 2 entrance exams to do to apply for my universities and it was a stressful time where I wasn't getting enough sleep and wasn't eating enough simply because I didn't have the time. Like I come home from school and would have 3-4 hours of homework, then I need to revise for tests and then the remaining time would be spent on the entrance exams. Each past paper took 2 hours and I have around 13s per questions and I was already struggling on time. Anyways, I began to hate them and I would often complain to my mum saying things like "My score got even lower!!" or "I hate it so much" or "My head hurts / eyes hurt".
Guess what? Not only did I see my score decrease over time but I also made such a silly mistake on the most important entrance exam which I needed for 4/5 of my universities. I left a question and completely forgot to mark on the answer so when I finished the section I realised I had one more space on the sheet with like 10s to spare. I didn't have enough time to go back and fix it and lemme say that I did so badly in the test. Even while waiting for results I was just like "ah it would be a miracle if I scored above this bla bla".
I got the score back and it was so freaking bad like I did not stand a chance at my university at all. However, I started to affirm for a place and to my utter shock and surprise my desired university reached out and offered me an interview. I knew people who had like scores which were 50% better than mine and they still got rejected pre-interview. Anyways I began stressing about the interview and the results of the whole thing and boom. I got rejected 3 days after my birthday lmaoo. But its okay because I'm reapplying and I learnt so much more. I'm redoing the entrance exam and my score is a loooot better than it ever was last year.
A key take away would be thoughts are the result of the state you are in. Your dwelling state manifests and I was focusing on the unrealness and the difficultly of getting into this uni and thats what manifested. At the time I was heartbroken and literally went through the 7 stages of grief and spent so many months trying to revise it only for me to focus on the 3D. Just know that everything is done in imagination and it appears in the 3D as a result.
Photographic memory
So this is also something I had manifested before I actually knew about loa but the takeaway here is that manifestation is always instant. I was around 11 reading a random book on my tiny kindle and the book was on how to develop a good memory and I was like ah that'll be useful. Anyways later in the car, I asked my dad about photographic memory and he sort of explained it to me. I just assumed that I have that and I told him I do. He just laughed at me and said thats something that you have to train for and I was not impressed lmao. Inside my tiny brain, I was just like nope, I already have photographic memory and I dropped that thought. Let me tell you, my memory is actually photographic and has helped me out on so many occasions like my brain just takes pictures of things.
Learning fast
This is also something I did before I knew loa, I was just always wondering why the other kids couldn't grasp concepts as easily as I did. Literally in every lesson I would be like ah I learn so fast and now I am actually blessed with the ability to grasp complex subjects so fast. A favourite example of mine would be when I was obsessed with music but to take it to a higher level you need to be able to play an instrument. I couldn't at the time and my teacher told me the requirements a week before the actual deadline. I have never actually played piano with both hands but one day I sat down and worked through the entire song (fur elise by Beethoven) which is a grade 5 (I think) and it normally takes people months / weeks to learn. I learnt the whole thing in 3 days and from then on, I could play piano like I had been doing for ages. Again the memory thing was so helpful because I never actually used any sheet music, I learnt it off a youtube video and I remembered every single note I needed to play.
Hourglass body + 22" waist
This was a couple of years ago when I actually didn't understand loa. Anyways long story short, I would do a 3 minute workout and then flex infront of the mirror all day (💀) and be like omg I have abs. Overtime, I actually got so skinny everyone around me kept pointing it out to me and my mum got so concerned that she took me to the doctor like 4 times. It was so funny, I would loose like 2-3kg overnight and my parents would have to buy better fitting uniform.
Bigger boobs
This was also back in the day (2021?) when I didn't understand how to manifest things easily af. I had an A cup but I wanted better boobies and I listened to like 2 subs for a week and I went to a B cup. But I just assumed I have a bigger cup size recently and I just skipped C and went to D+ (haven't measured in a long time).
I'm not done but I'm tired now bye bye
#loassumption#manifesting#manifesation#loa success#loa tumblr#loa#self concept#void#successstories#void state#affirming loa#void success#neville goddard#law of assumption blog#law of attraction#law of assumption
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You Are Still Human
𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐
𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐
Pairing: Wendigo!Josh Washington x Fem!Reader Description: Josh breaks down over the fact that he cannot live a normal life since his possession and no longer believes that he is truly human. So you find a special way to remind him of his humanity... Warnings: 18+, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Mental Breakdown, Insecurities, P In V, Creampie, Slight Choking, Rough Smut Animalistic Smut, Mention Of Breeding, No Foreplay Or Prep, Pain Kink-ish??? (Let me know if I missed any!) Word Count: 3.2k A/N: So I finally got this done! I didn't expect it to end up this long but as you can see, things got out of hand FAST. 😂 I hope you guys enjoy it! 🖤 Josh Washington Masterlist: 🖤 Taglist: @nuggetsandmoose, @maquillagebookmark, @wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee28374728, @bee-who-isnt-french
𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐
My tired feet slowly shuffle across the hardwood floor as I push myself through the front door of our shared home. I am exhausted after several errands that I had to run today, to say the least. But that's the price I have to pay for pushing them off until right at last minute. Though it wasn't exactly the extra work I had to do that pushed my mind and body to feel so worn out. My loving boyfriend decided to join me, which was a rare occurrence for him.
Ever since the... Incident... He hasn't wanted to go out into the world much. I understand his anxiety of being seen in public with his condition so I never push, but today he insisted on joining me on my mission to finish my to-do list. Perhaps he felt bad that all these burdens were placed on my shoulders with his lack of want to leave the house.
But unfortunately, a face mask to cover up his ripped cheek and sharpened canines was just not enough to cover what he has become. Recovery for Josh was long and hard and we had only just began talking about the possibility of cosmetic surgery. It was a long process before we could even begin worrying about such things.
After leaving the mountain, the spirit of the wendigo left him, not being able to leave where it is bound. But still, traces of an animal-like presence lingered in his behaviors and personality. We didn't know if restoring his humanity was possible, but the doctors were able to recover just enough to get him to a point of leaving the hospital to live a normal life. Though even then, I had to beg to convince them to let me take him home with me.
His parents were hesitant on letting me take care of him, but after some negotiating, they bought a secluded cabin in a swallow forest, just deep enough to give us privacy but not too deep that I would be trapped if I needed to get away. Josh's humanity was indeed resorted, but the primal animal was still within.
And that's where we are now. Josh has an odd habit of forgetting how to act "human" sometimes. Every once in awhile he will stare at someone random and growl lowly, or even nip at the air as though his need to feed was getting too intense. It was worrisome, to say the least. Sometimes I would stay up at night, fearing the one thing that I always worried was inevitable—that Josh would lose control once more.
Though time and time again, he would prove me wrong with a loving and warm cuddle at the end of the day. But sadly, tonight will not be so sweet. I can tell by the way Josh trudges into the living room, his head hung low and shoulders slumped. He wants to be left alone.
Though I understand this, I don't want to leave him with his thoughts again. Bad things happen when Josh is left alone with his thoughts. So I approach the doorway of the living room, leaning against the frame as I watch his tired form from afar. He seems defeated by the way he sat slouched against the soft cushions of our couch.
Slowly, I make my way to him step by step and sit on the couch, my eyes watching him to read his body language. He does not react to my presence, instead staring out into a void of nothingness like his mind is elsewhere. I reach over to the small end table by my side and pull its drawer open, only to retrieve a small, red bag.
I set it on my lap and then turn back to Josh, carefully taking on of his large hands in my own. They have grown a tiny bit since his possession, by an inch for each finger at least. Every part of his body has grown a bit since then. Sometimes it could feel a little intimidating. I run my thumb over the fragile, pale skin on the back of his hand before releasing a tired sigh.
"Your nails are getting long again, sweetheart. Shall I trim them for you?" I ask while reaching for the bag in my lap with my free hand, pulling the zipper to the side to reveal a bunch of nail care tools.
He does not respond verbally, but let's out a huff to let me know that he is fine with it. So with that, I begin my work, trimming and filing away at the sharp and jagged claws. It takes what feels like an hour to get them finished and looking nearly human again. In this time, Josh doesn't move a bit. He is so still, it's hard to tell he is even breathing. But once I finish and go to move my hands away from his, his boney fingers clasp my own.
"Thank... You..." He whispers faintly, his voice coarse and almost ghostly. Life glimmers in his eyes for a brief moment as his light irises study his hands.
But then, after a minute of admiring my work, he stands from his spot on the couch. He begins to pace around the coffee table in the center of the room, as if his mind is wandering, pondering something intense. I watch him for a few moments as he silently walks, feet shuffling along the carpet. But then, he mutters something...
"It's not enough..."
I almost do not catch it, until he repeats the words in a volume just slightly higher than before. But before I know it, Josh is pacing more frantically, whispering the sentence over and over. An eerie dread falls over my body as I watch him, his movements growing more panicked. He seems frightened and enraged, and those feelings seem to grow until he finally snaps, flipping over the coffee table in one swoop of his arms.
"I'm sick of this fucking shit!" He screams in a voice that sounds more like a howl from a wounded animal than anything else. "I'm so sick of being a fucking monster! I'm so fucking sick of people looking at me like one—like I shouldn't be with you or like I'm going to hurt you! I just want to be human again!"
I am stunned, sitting still as ever as if I'm afraid to move. That is until he breaks down, falling to his knees as he let's out a mournful sob. It's as if his spirit has been beaten down to the point of no return by this curse, every day stares, and the pressure of trying to be what he once was. Within a second, I am by his side on the floor, pulling him close to me and embracing him tightly.
"You're not a monster." I whisper sweetly as I caress his thinned out hair, just one more thing he has had to be insecure about since becoming human again. But it never lost its silky texture, which was what I had always loved the most about it.
He shakes his head and whimpers faintly, "I'm just a monster..."
I think for a moment. Usually it's pretty hard to break someone out of this mindset, especially Josh. He has a stubborn way of thinking, which makes it hard to convince him otherwise on a lot of subjects. I continue to pet his hair and think of back when he was human, how much he loved to show me just how much he loved me every day. Of course, a lot of times it would be through physical acts— And finally, it hits me. I know what will break him out of these self-abusive thoughts.
"I want you to prove to me that you're not a monster." I order firmly, which is enough for him to finally raise his head from where it is tucked in my shoulder and look up at me.
"W-What?" He queries just barely above a whisper—just barely enough for me to hear his quivering voice.
I gently caress his cheek, brushing my fingers over his deep scars as I clarify. "Prove to me that you aren't a monster. I know you can. Prove to me that you can feel all the emotions that a normal person can feel, and make me feel them as well in return."
He stares at me for a moment, eyes clearly uncertain about my rather intimate proposition. I can practically see the internal battle going on inside his mind through those glazed over pupils in the center of his white irises. Then, he let's out a shaky breath before biting his lip subtly—a risky habit he still carries from being human, but has to be more cautious doing now with his sharpened teeth.
"I... I don't want to hurt you..." He whimpers like a hurt puppy, glancing back down at his fidgeting fingers.
"You won't," I say as I place my hands on his cheeks, forcing his gaze back to me so he can see my sincerity. "I know you..."
He adverts his eyes once more, only this time looking down at the growing bulge under the rough fabric of his jeans—something I had failed to notice before. Josh had grown so backwards since his turning—so backwards that we haven't had sex since prior to it. I know it is killing him, especially since he was always the horniest guy I knew before this happened.
To make things easier for him, I place my hand on his thigh, resting right beside his needy member. He swallows thickly as he visibly shivers, a thin layer of sweat already coating his skin as his temperature rises. It is a subtle action to test the waters and when I'm sure he is comfortable, my hand goes right to the spot I know he desires so much.
But as soon as my hand cups the twitching length through his pants, something changes. A soft growl is heard rumbling at the back of his throat, and when my eyes flick back up, I am met with a hungry and what looks to be primal gaze. His eyes are no longer soft and sorrowful, but hold something almost animalistic within them.
Before I can say anything, Josh scoops me up and throws me down on the couch, knocking a startled gasp to fly out from me that seems to fall on deaf ears. He is quick to cage me between his arms, and lower his body weight down over top of me to encase me in his grasp, like a predator sealing his prey's fate.
No words are spoken, just the sounds of his ragged breaths and rabid growls fill the air. His body temperature has risen even higher than I have ever felt from him, and as he presses his chest against mine to keep me locked in place, I can feel his racing heartbeat vibrating through his chest as well. It amazes me that he hasn't had a heart attack yet.
But still, it seems as if something is stopping him in place. A lost, uncertain, question glimmers in his orbs as though he is waiting for an answer. Though he is silent, I know what he is asking—the final thing he needs to take things to the next level.
"Go ahead, Josh. I'm ready." I breath faintly, giving him the permission he seeks.
As if from a movie, he tears our clothes off at a supernatural speed. I lay there, naked and dumbfounded as I look at the shreds of clothing that fell all around us, surrounding us like some sort of makeshift nest. I can't help but wonder how in the hell he managed to do that after I just clipped and filed his claws down, but I don't have much time to answer.
A shriek of shock, pain, and pleasure tears from my throat as I feel the familiar sting of something long and hard entering my canal, though this time in a more rough and fast way. Josh was always one for foreplay, but I guess there isn't time for that now, as he is already buried deep within me to the brim within just a split second.
His eyes hold a bit of remorse for only a mere moment, until that hunger returns. I barely have time to breathe as he retracts and enters at a pace I have never seen from him before. His hips pound furiously into mine, a subtle ache setting into my joints almost in an instant as he does his work. His grip on my waist is enough to burst my organs, while his dull nails cut into my flesh, crimson liquid forming under them more and more with each flex of his fingers. If I hadn't have cut his nails before this, I'd be done for. But I feel like Josh would know to be more careful if there was an actual hazard.
The intensity of his tip hitting my g-spot over and over at a brutal force feels to be enough to actually bruise it. Josh was always so good at finding it but this is a whole new level. I push my head back against the cushions as a cry of painful ecstasy parts my lips. Gripping the edges of the cushions and ripped strands of clothing in my fists, I begin to squirm out of pure instinct. Of course, Josh doesn't like this very much. Before I know it, a tight hand is wrapped firmly around my neck, but not enough to actually hurt me. This shows me that deep down, Josh still has some control.
He pounds into me in a sloppy and rough rhythm, determined like an animal desperate to breed. Grunts, groans, and growls that sound less than human are all that are heard from him. I would be concerned if my mind was clear enough to pay attention. No, right now, all my senses were overwhelmed by Josh, cutting off my awareness of the world around us like a sweet death. I am out of my own body now, my soul flying high in the clouds of heaven.
To my surprise, he pulls out. A soft exhale escapes me has he let's go of my throat, but that's only to quickly flip me over so he can now get in from the back. As soon as he shoves his length back inside, he's moving at a pace yet again unimaginable while his claws grip my hips firmly. He is almost pulling me back onto his cock at times, so my hips can meet his own has he thrusts into me. It's so animalistic and natural and it feels so right. And by the feeling of it, it's just enough to satisfy Josh completely.
With a roaring howl, Josh finally finds the release he has been chasing for so long. His speed and strength increases as he comes undone within me, and he fills me to the brim as if he wants to claim me... Or maybe even breed me. It is all too much for me to bear. The sensation of his heavy load spraying into my sweet spot is enough to send me flying over the edge. I bury my face into the cushion as a shuddering moan falls from my lips, before my voice strains away to nothing. My whole body trembles as I practically melt beneath him, and my walls squeeze and quiver around his cock as though I'm practically begging for more.
Though soon that psychical need gives away into exhaustion as soon as my tense muscles relax once my high subsides, my body falling limp like I no longer can control it. I'm just a doll now, all at the mercy of the man who gives me life. He may think that because I help him to heal, I am his savior. But he couldn't be more wrong. Without Joshua, I would be in a darker place, drowning in my trauma of that night. But now, I have him. And in this moment of silence where nothingness hangs in the air, that thought enters my brain. A small smile curls the corners of my lips while I close my eyes, feeling peace as I soak up his warmth while his hot breath fans my shoulder.
He removes himself from me, both of us letting out a trembling whimper, the overestimation stinging our most sensitive areas momentarily. He does not waste a single breath on words, instead leaning down to capture my lips with his. He is careful—careful to not cut me with his long canines, but also holding a tenderness he used to show before all of this. He knows that I am at my most vulnerable at this time, and will take the most caution to not break me at my fine glass-like state. When he pulls away, he gazes upon me with tear-filled and passionate eyes, his orbs reflecting what seems to be gratefulness and love.
"That wasn't the wendigo in me..." He breathes faintly while raising a hand to caress my cheek in a way so tender that I feel as if I could cry. Though I raise a questioning brow at that statement, not knowing what he means. So he elaborates after taking another second to breathe, still worn out by our recent activities. "I just needed you that badly... So I guess that was the human in me, huh?"
I smile at that and nod, admiring how he blushes at what he admits. For someone who used to be so ballsy and open with his dirty thoughts, Josh could be pretty backwards at times. It was something I always adored so much about him. I run my fingers through his raven, disheveled hair while taking in his stunning features, a soft sigh leaving me before I whisper. "You can have me whenever you like, Josh."
Josh smiles and presses his lips to mine once more, and then lays his head on my chest. I watch him intently, taking note of how he smiles when he hears my heartbeat quicken ever so slightly at the sight of him on top of me. He gently rubs my sides, soon stopping to snuggle into my breasts, seemingly deciding that this nest of our torn clothing would be our bed for the night.
Josh always reminded me of a Great Dane in a way. Despite being a lot bigger than me, there was always enough space on top of me for cuddles in his eyes. It was always quite amusing to me each time his large form would envelope my own. I continue to pet his hair, soft strands threading through my fingers with each touch. He let's out a huff in contentment and kisses my left breast, the sensation of his lips on my skin being absorbed through my flesh and meeting my heart to caress it with the love he feels for me.
"Thank you..." He murmurs, his voice dropping an octave lower and coming out more like a purr due to his exhaustion. My eyes focus on him as he closes his eyes, taking one more deep breath and then continuing his sentence a mere second before he falls into a peaceful slumber on top of me. "For everything..."
𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐
#until dawn#until dawn josh#josh washington#josh washington x reader#josh washington smut#wendigo!josh washington#synnamonsspicyfics
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When I say that this journey is real, and our struggles are not in vain, I am shouting it from the rooftops. A month ago, I woke up with my dream life. Obsessed with the "void state", I woke up one day being the same person but with an entirely new life. All because I chose it.
Your efforts aren't going unnoticed. The universe is always on your side. You are the universe. It's been a month, and I still feel overwhelmed with joy and wonder every single day.
I was once poor and battling depression, a reality many can relate to. But we found the law because we knew we deserved more. You can be ordinary, flawed, even unkind, but you can choose to transform and have it all. And I did just that. My parents, who were illegal immigrants working underpaid jobs, are now wealthy and respected figures. My last name alone garners recognition, and I am a socialite earning money just by being me.
I used to live in an attic infested with cockroaches. Now, I reside in a four-story mansion, complete with exotic cars, house help, cooks, drivers - all treated and compensated fairly. We also own three other houses across the United States.
I was once insecure, severely underweight, and bullied. Today, not only am I stunningly beautiful, but I am also praised for my fashion sense. I was once a dull person, but now I am radiant with positivity.
I attended an underfunded school where I was bullied, and teachers lacked resources to intervene. Now, I study at a prestigious private school that assures my entry into an Ivy League university. Finally, I am respected and appreciated.
I was lonely and uninteresting. Now, I am vibrant with a close-knit group of friends and a man who seems straight out of a Wattpad story. He's perfect, and he's mine.
This transformation happened overnight. And I've been on this journey since 2020. But how??? I surrendered to my imagination!
The void was overwhelming, but now I can easily navigate it. I was tired of giving my power away. So, I gave in to myself, to my dreams. I knew I deserved it. Even if I didn't believe it at times, I made the choice. If you desire something, it's already yours. It's done.
I didn't have a list or anything of my desires, just a vision of happiness. I didn't know what it looked like, but I knew how it felt. Now, I embody that feeling every day. My life is a series of plot twists. It's not perfect, but my worst days now are what I once prayed for. That old life? POOF It's gone. All I have is now, and I'm living it to the fullest.
My advice?
Stop seeking proof. If you're looking for proof, you'll never manifest your dreams because the only thing that needs to change is self. Doubt is a reflection of your disbelief in yourself. When I surrendered to my imagination, it didn't matter who was lying or telling the truth, because I had my truth. The burden of proof lies within you. It's called the law of assumption. You might harbor some doubt, but you must have faith like the devout. They believe without proof. You can too! We all can! Believe in yourself, and the universe will conspire in your favor!!!!
I agree! Your words resonated with me a lot. Faith, particularly self-faith, is such an important tool in shaping our realities. The ability to trust ourselves, our desires, and our potential is essential in manifesting our dream life, and it’s only so beautiful to slowly see yourself give yourself all your trust when you’ve never even liked yourself.
You're spot on about the issue of seeking confirmation from others. It's an unnecessary hurdle that we give ourselves but it’s human nature. Our truths and dreams should not be validated by anyone else but us. As you said, why should it matter if someone lied or told the truth? We are the creators of our own lives and thus, the only validation we need comes from within.
And I wholeheartedly agree with your point about deservingness. We don't have to earn our desires or prove ourselves worthy of them. If we want something, that desire alone makes us deserving of it.
More importantly I am very proud and happy for you !!!! You’re a testament of what our own imagination can do for us and I hope you only keep getting happier and happier <3!!!!
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random dialogue from the recesses of my sleep-deprived brain ... sentence starters
mixed bag of funny, angsty, angry, and just plain weird
"I picked you a flower."
"Am I dead? Please say yes."
"One more word and I'll leave."
"I don't think we can salvage this."
"If you were really sorry, you'd change."
"Don't tell me what I'm allowed to feel…"
"Don't act like you know what's going on."
"No. Get out of here. I don't want to see you."
"You snore so loud, I can't hear myself think."
"Who ever gave you the right to act this way?"
"They weren't supposed to tell you where I am."
"It's called empathy. Maybe you should learn it."
"I know I'm bad at this; you don't have to rub it in."
"Yes, I hear you. All the dramatics. It's hard not to."
"Why are you shrinking yourself for everyone else?"
"Yeah, let's see how YOU like cold feet on your back!"
"No. No, tell me what you actually think. I want to know."
"Just tell me how to help. I want to, I just don't know how."
"I'm gonna need you to take all that sass and go over there."
"You don't have to prove anything to me, you know that, right?"
"How long have you been carrying all those secrets on your own?"
"Let me just ask the spirits of the dead, first… The spirits said 'no'."
"Nothing you do will ever be good enough for them, so stop trying."
"Has anyone ever told you that your vibe is strange and off-putting?"
"I wanted to slam the door really dramatically, but the hinge caught."
"Everyone should be a lot more appreciative of me not going apeshit."
"Every time I see you, I get cute aggression, I can't help it. I must squish."
"This would be a lot more soothing without the underlying, constant terror."
"It's hard to believe your parents loved you if they gave you a name like that."
"If I looked into your brain, I think I'd just hear the Benny Hill theme on repeat."
"I knew this wasn't gonna work. Doesn't make it any less disappointing, though."
"Does this task require a bra/pants? Because, if it does, I will not be participating."
"I heard your stomach rumble from over here. No argument, I'm getting you food."
"Gonna need you to take a deep breath, find whatever inner peace you have, and be quiet."
"You'd have nothing to worry about in a zombie apocalypse… I mean, they eat brains, right?"
"I knew you weren't good for much, yet you continue to find new ways to disappoint me."
"Yeah, you jumpscared me! You move so quietly, it's like perpetually living in an indie horror game!"
"I can't lower my bar of expectations any more. The devil is already using it for limbo parties in hell."
"You're an amazing scientific study waiting to happen on how someone can survive so long without any common sense at all."
"I really don't care what you think or say about me. But, I draw the line at you disrespecting them... you're on really thin ice here."
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Can u do g!p doctor minji x reader fucking in her office making her cockdrunk and they do it many times?
I know you're busy rn so don't worry just take your time🥹 thank you I advance!! ♡
You can’t miss a Doctors appointment!
Pairings: G!p Minji x fem reader!
Warnings: BREEDING, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your Willy), not proofread, p in v, mention of pregnancy, overstimulation, creampie, big dick, a little bit of manipulation, pantie stealing and just Filthy smut!!
Jwans Note: I’m not really satisfied with how this turned out but hope you enjoy!!😔🥲
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Meet Minji, a newly graduated doctor who had just landed her dream job at one of the world's most prestigious hospitals. Her hard work and dedication had paid off, and her parents couldn't have been prouder. They beamed with pride whenever they spoke of their daughter's remarkable achievements, and her success became the talk of the neighborhood. Her family had always known that Minji was destined for greatness, and now, she had proved them right. With her exceptional skills and a heart full of compassion, she was ready to take on the world and make a positive impact on the lives of others.
She basically was every medical students goal, they all wanted to be like her one day.
It was no surprise that the hospital gave her a private office. Soon, patients started pouring in and the day was filled with treating and helping them.
But there was this one patient that stuck to the back of her mind and didn’t seem to leave. You came to her office one day for a yearly check, and your results were above great but from the first time she laid her eyes on you, she knew she had to have you.
She made little “changes” to your file, perhaps a little sabotage so you could visit her office more often. It was all with a good intention, she thought.
You were waiting outside in her waiting room. This is the third time you have been here, for an unknown reason. She told you that she has to make more checks and she needed to make sure that everything is alright, but you still don’t understand what she wants? Every time you asked her is there something bothering your health, she didn’t give a straight answer, just shrugging it off and mumbling incoherent stuff.
“Miss y/n, come inside!” The secretary behind the counter told you. You quickly took your stuff and left for Minjis office.
Once she saw you enter her office she flashed you her signature warm smile, that seemed to leave every patient with heart eyes.
That happened to you when you first came to her office but as the time passed, those heart eyes slowly started fading.
You placed your coat on the hanger and sat down on the chair in front of her desk, the last thing you wanted to seem was rude so you returned a smile, a nervous one.
“Hi miss y/n! How have you been?” She questioned seeming really interested.
“I have been well myself, so is there something bothering my health?” you chuckled nervously, raising an brow afterwards.
She stood up and guided you to the examination bed, making you lay on it. Your breathing was unreasonably heavy and low. Your hands on your sides, while she was wearing her gloves.
“If that’s okay with you, could you take your clothes off?” She looked at you from the corner of her eyes before turning fully to look down at you.
You gulped nervously never have a doctor asked you anything like this but at the end of the day she is a doctor she must know what she is doing…😮💨🫣
You slid down your jeans before pulling your shirt over your head, handing it to her. She looked at you like she still was waiting for something, and that’s when you realized what she indicated.
Without much thought you just decided to make her life easier and just take your panties off, and so you did. She had her hand out to you when you took off your panties while a smirk across her face, you gave it to her even tho a crimson colored layer was over your cheeks. You didn’t miss how she stuffed your panties in her pocket.
At first everything was so normal, doing normal doctor check ups, and the doctor stuff that everyone have been through.
But not long after her hands started roaming around your form, her hands slowly reaching and nearing your core and you couldn’t help but let out a whimper when her fingers touched your embarrassingly wet pussy.
What could you do? You couldn’t deny that doctor Minji was hot, insanely hot! And you couldn’t deny how every night after meeting her, your fingers couldn’t satisfy you anymore. She wasn’t the only one desperate and hungry for you, you were for her too!
She smirked at the sound leaving your lips her finger pad teasing your walls reasoning for more breathy whimpers to fall past your lips. You were soaking her fingers and the examination bed already having a wet patch on it.
She undressed her white coat and slid her slacks down, exposing her deprived cock. Looking at the erection it seemed heavy and her red-ish tip leaking white salty substance.
You rubbed your thighs together at the sight a whine making it way out of your lips. She climbed on the examination bed and aligned her cock with your velvety walls. Before completely pushing in, her cock stretching your hymen, making you feel like at any moment you’d bleed. But the feeling was pleasurable nonetheless.
The waiting of months finally have paid off and she finally got to bury her cock deep in you. The bed rocking back and forth due to her ruthless thrust, making you feel that her cock was in your womb, hitting spots you didn’t know existed.
You were holding her shoulders for dear life, your nails sinking deep into her flesh, your knuckles turning white due to your grip.
Her Head buried into the crook of your neck, giving kitty licks onto your invisible Adam apple and sucking on the flesh, purple marks filling your, she could taste the chemical taste of your perfume and that only made her mind numb and intoxicated with the whole moment.
Both of you letting out the deepest sounds and whimpers, without warning her seed flew deep into you, straight onto your womb. The chances of you getting pregnant by her sent you over the edge, your own liquid pushing out her creamy substance.
“G’na get you pregnant baby, y-you could come Check in my office every day!” She whispered near your ear, shivers running down your spine.
She furrowed her brows, your own juices pushing her cum was making her annoyed, and without realizing it wasn’t long till her cock was again deep inside you. Your pussy tightening and clenching uncontrollably around her while overstimulation hitting you hard, a choked gasp came from you.
The pain and abuse of her cock making your eyes water. Tears sliding down your cheeks, it was replaced by mind blowing pleasure once again, your previous orgasm making the knot in your stomach snap, and fresh round of your juices tried to push her cock out but failed since the ramming of her cock was deep and rough, making your legs give up and your body laying limp.
She let out a growl before her balls shot new layer of cum into your abused hole, a satisfied sigh came from her.
She pulled out slowly trying not to overstimulate you more, and she saw how her cum gushed out. Her finger smeared her liquid before pushing it back in deeper. She kissed your puffy tear stained cheeks and caressed your closed lids softly.
She cleaned you up in the bathroom connected with her office and declined all of the appointments of the day.
#kim minji smut#minji smut#new jeans minji x reader#new jeans minji smut#minji new jeans#kim minji x fem reader#kim minji x female reader#kim minji x reader smut#kim minji x reader#minji x fem reader#minji x reader#minji x reader smut#new jeans smut#new jeans minji#kim minji fluff
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So, it finally clicked that while the average person does in fact broadly comprehend that people are neither good nor evil - they're good and bad, and have free will - they also can't understand why some people would fully commit themselves to completely awful causes or to being a terrible person throughout their entire lives. They can't really picture how this works, because they can't imagine themselves choosing to die on a hill of Being A Terrible Person.
This void in their comprehension is where the myth of the Ontologically Evil Person is very likely to come and settle in sooner or later, because it seems to finally provide an answer that makes sense of otherwise senseless cruelty and violence. Agonizing questions like "Why would my boyfriend spend so much energy on making me feel like shit and breaking me down?" "Why would this historical figure decided to kill all of these people?" and "Why would this guy go start a cult and murder everyone?" are finally given an answer, and the formerly-bewildered person finally has some peace of mind.
Because of this, the myth of the Ontologically Evil Person is incredibly hard to get out of people's minds once it takes root. For one thing, bad ideas are like bad habits; it doesn't really work to tell people to Just Stop With Them, because without something else to take its place? They're going to fall back on it.
And if somebody's been traumatized from abuse? The last thing they want to hear is that they're basically dehumanizing their abuser and that's not cool, because it feels to them like the other person is taking their abuser's side and telling them to get fucked. Even if this not what's happening, the survivor's brain is currently operating on fight/flight/fawn/freeze mode, and a brain operating fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode is keyed to making snap decisions to try and remove you from the danger as soon as possible, which means categorizing everything into black and white. This person couldn't care less about the history of eugenics right now; literally all they care about is being safe.
"Okay, so if the Ontologically Evil Person doesn't exist, how the hell do you explain those fuckers over there?" some of you are probably asking.
Here's the deal. Literally every human being alive can and will do terrible things if they're sufficiently scared and desperate. They're in no position to appreciate that nearly all asshole behavior can be explained by a lack of critical social and self-management skills, or by a lack of access to self-improvement (including being too traumatized to trust means of self-improvement).
People who are scared, insecure, and under high levels of stress will often cling to anything that makes them feel better, because they want to feel safe and secure and not in psychological and/or physical agony. (Stress does an absolute number on your body, too.)
Being reliant on a shitty behavior, belief system, or product for some measure of feeling secure and safe is how you get people saying things like "If I didn't act mean, everyone would just walk all over me!" or "I was really depressed before I found this, so if I gave it up I'm going to get depressed again, and I might hurt myself." (And there might be some truth to this one! This might indeed happen if they give it up cold turkey, and without finding an alternative!) It's how you get people conducting """scientific""" studies to """prove""" that their bigotry is totally justified and not at all irrational. ("Well of course these people are genetically inferior, they wouldn't be poor and disease-ridden if they weren't... what do you mean, systemic inequality and uneven healthcare access? No that's obviously fake and made up by More Bad People.")
People also act in unhealthy ways to deal with personal insecurities implanted by parents or society. You have people out there whose parents drummed it into their heads that second place was for worthless losers, or that no one would love them if they didn't look or act a certain way. You have people who absorbed the idea that acknowledging the basic humanity of shitty people means that they have to forgive them and personally help them get better and just suffer through the abuse in the meantime.
This is how people choose to die on the hill of Being A Terrible Person. They weren't ontologically evil. They were scared, and they thought they saw a fortress on the top of that hill that would keep them (and perhaps also their loved ones) safe.
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worries about mouthwashing.
warning, rant under the cut!!
i just got into the game.
yes I have media literacy, no i'm not ableist (i'm disabled myself), no I don't woobify the characters (sometimes I do low effort doodles that come out silly, but everyone looks woobified, not just a select few), no i'm not a bad person.
But I need a good end AU that I can make without feeling guilty. I've already had someone yell at me that skin grafts and prosthetics on Curly are ableist. I just want them to be happy. It's scifi shit. It's unrealistic, I know, but please for the love of god let me be happy. let me comfort these characters. let me draw them with medical procedures that aren't 100% realistic. please.
and i'm not talking about giving Curly those good looks he had previously, i'm talking about the good looks that come with immense scarring and incomplete facial structures. because GUESS WHAT, THAT'S PRETTY AS WELL.
I'm conflicted, because I want this to be realistic enough for those that want it, but I want to be able to think about these characters without wanting to cry. I want Curly to admit he was wrong and cowardly to Anya and that she was right and prove his remorsefulness by actions to make things right. Not fix, but make right. I want Anya to feel autonomy and get the justice she deserves by her own hands. I want Daisuke to be able to prove to his parents that he can be responsible and help care for others while still being fun. I want Swansea to be able to live out the rest of his time with his wife without the worry of a job or stress. ALSO I CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH CURLY'S SITUATION WITHOUT INFANTALIZING HIM?? WHY DO PEOPLE ASSUME I'M BABYING HIM WHEN I SAY I WANT HIM TO NOT HURT???
I want these characters to be happy. If it's unrealistic, who gives a shit? Mouthwashing has heavy themes, but the game itself is incredibly unrealistic as a premise. Just suspend your disbelief a little longer, it's not that hard. They're in space. I don't have to take everything dead seriously.
also for the love of god don't reply to this with seven paragraphs. I said all of this so I don't have to argue about it later. My mental state is bad enough already. Let me have this.
(link to a part two)
#mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#yeah curly is my favorite character#is that such a sin?
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I tried to ask spot-the-antisemitism but he went off on me for some reason and I don’t know why. So I’m just gonna ask you because I know you’re friends with her. Do you think Jujusjunk is going back to her old ways? I get that she’s been through a lot and I mean, hell she lived through a war I can’t imagine myself surviving but I mean, she’s changed a lot these past few months. I keep her and her family in my prayers always but she’s been on my mind alot recently. Do you think she’ll go back to being a hamasnik or go back to the juju we love? Also she hasn’t been rude to anyone, like at all. She still has frequent conversations but her points have changed and she’s posted some triggering posts. That’s all. I don’t mean this in a bad way I was just looking for how people she’s directly spoken to think. Nothing too big. I don’t get why he got mad.
I am going to explain to you why they went off on you as they were right to do so. I am going to be as respectful as I can when doing so as you are asking why you got a negative reaction.
She is a literal child, who was born in Jordan and either lived or currently lives in Lebanon, idk if she returned yet or not.
She is from two countries, which are not favourable towards Israel or jews. And this isn't even touching on the fact that she is Palestinian. Whilst palestinians aren't inherently antisemitic and assuming so is bigoted, she has mentioned before that her parents very much are of the group who are.
The rhetoric you are surronded by does very much influence you. She has literally done more than white liberals in the US to unpack all the antisemitism she is surronded by.
De-influencing yourself from harmful ideologies is not a linear journey, especially when you are palestinian and living/lived in Lebanon.
The wording of your ask gives off the vibe that you view juju as some blorbo palestinin muslim who you only play with when she does the thing you want her to do. She is not a toy, she is a human being, with complex thoughts and feelings. Whether or not that was your intention, that is the vibe your ask to me and your ask to @spot-the-antisemitism gives off.
The real red flag in your ask is the "Do you think she’ll go back to being a hamasnik or go back to the juju we love?"
That bit right there gives off the vibe there that your support for her unlearning antisemitic rhetoric, is contingent on her being at a certain point.
It is also extremely offensive that you are calling a palestinian who is putting in the hard work to unlearn antisemitism, a hamasnik. It is concerning how quickly it seems that you are able to get to that point. I want to be clear, that I am not saying that palestinians can never support hamas, as some do, the issue is with the fact that you jump to it so quickly, and ignore all the evidence which proves otherwise.
That bit also gives off the vibe that you do not view her as a real breathing and living human being.
In regards to the triggering posts, again she is a child working through a lot of complex thoughts and feelings. Even if she was an adult, my point still stands. When you ar working through the type of stuff she is, you are going to make triggering posts, comments, etc.
You are allowed to be offended or triggered by it, but the solution isn't to go "well she must be a terrible person now". The solution is to unfollow either temporarily for permently. You are responsible for curating your experience online.
Essentially, the vibe of your ask is that you expect juju to be this perfect person who is unpacking their antisemitism in a way which is digestible to you, and that is a messed up thing to think.
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before i transitioned i remember people would say sometimes i behaved like a boy. i could tell they meant to say it in a way that they thought would discourage my boyish behavior; while encouraging my "improvement" with my journey into womanhood- but it had the opposite effect.
i remember the days i didn't get to choose the clothes i wanted to wear as a girl because of a "man's glance"; yet i couldn't tell them about my own want to cover myself so NO ONE could glance at me. no one but MYSELF. for the only boy's glance i really understood was my own.
i remember the jealousy and envy i would feel for the boys in my class after the janitor would bring them back during Math. They had just helped as volunteers to carry some boxes to the dumpster. and i had raised my hand; but i wasn't allowed to help. because even though the janitor enjoyed me as a model student, i was still just a "girl". and even with us all being the same size, we weren't labelled the same. even in elementary.
i remember trying to hang out with the boys in my highschool after realizing most of the girls didn't like me in elementary. i stood out and didn't want to be in a clique back then, so i decided to try something different. i didn't want to do makeup, dances or play much with dolls as a child. i just wasn't interested. and even in my teens, i still didn't enjoy it all very much. i didn't like most boys and girls back then. i just was going through so much. and being autistic made it harder to understand how to fit in with everyone when i didn't feel like them. so i didn't truly have friends of all genders until middle school and high school.
but even as i hung out with the boys, i still was seen as a "girl". i was small, with a high voice and a lot of energy. i had an undercut, baggy clothes and a lazy way of dressing but the days i would wear a tight shirt everyone would become different. and i didn't know until it was over. i was petite and very short. my tiny stature made people think i was just a delicate girl but luckily i had a loud and aggressive personality. but i later learned, boys AND girls started to like me because i seemed like an "aggressive girl".
i realized in my adulthood, when i look back, that i still stood out, no matter what I did. and i realize the boys i hung out with held back conversations most boys usually had. because i was still different; even though i liked girls, and didn't dress like them, unless forced. i didn't dress like a girl unless i had to for my parents and for safety. and even though i was experimenting with my gender at the time, people just thought of me as a "girl" no matter what. and i couldn't hide it.
i realize the girls accepted me once i started looking attractive and stylish to them- due to my mother's attempts at making me look like a "girl" and my own individuality. it was rare i actually found true friends. except for two people in my life from school, no one lasted. and it was confusing to try to learn how to be a "girl" when I was not. i was a non-binary transmasc man. i am a trans man.
and all my life, my family and people around me viewed me as a "girl" and tried to take the "boy" outta me. but they failed. and they always will. but back then, their glances would make me so anxious that i would eventually just stare down at my feet in public. the forced feminization that i had to endure, was suffocating. and i wondered to myself would i ever be happy. but finally, FINALLY, one day i was able to say i am a man and i started living my life. and i can see that them forcing their version of womanhood on me just guided me to my true path. they didn't discourage me from being a man.
they just helped me realize, i was MY biggest hero and that i needed to encourage MYSELF TO BE STRONG. for i made it through years and years of discouragement, transphobia and misogyny alone. and if i can prove them WRONG, i as a man, can be happy with that alone.
#transmasc#trans poc#trans male#trans man#transgender#trans posting#positive mental attitude#transmaculine#transandrophobia#trans journey
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Fast Car (Tracy Chapman)
You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere/Maybe we make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere/Any place is better, starting from zero got nothing to lose/Maybe we'll make something, me myself I got nothing to prove
So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car/Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk/City lights lay out before us/ And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder/And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged
You got a fast car/Is it fast enough so we can fly away?/We gotta make a decision/Leave tonight or live and die this way
"I know it's an obvious one but YOU try playing it without crying I dare you"
"I cant explain the yearning but this makes me howl"
"OH GOD the longing!! The yearning in the recurring central image of the narrator and her lover on the highway, feeling this sense of limitless possibility and incredible hope!!! And then the verses take us with brutal efficiency through the collapse of their marriage, the way that the cycle of poverty stomps down on their hopes, and how with nothing left, the narrator does what her mom did and leaves!! Leaving the kids to experience the same thing she did growing up!! But it’s all punctuated and bookended by these callbacks to that central iconic memory of hope!!!!! But by the end we realize that the last line “leave tonight or live and die this way” offers only the illusion of a choice: when the narrator first runs away and later when she leaves her husband and kids, she’s still fulfilling her role in this cyclical generational story. God!!"
Never Love An Anchor (The Crane Wives)
I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel/I am all the things they might have said to you/Do you ever think of me and my two hands/And wonder why they never soothed your fevers?/And wonder why they never tied your shoes?/And wonder why they never held you gently?/And wonder why they never had the chance to lose you?
"This song. this song is from the perspective of a parent, speaking to their child. about how they failed them, how they weren't there for them, out of fear of doing it wrong. they were an anchor to their child's ship, so they pulled away, and maybe they regret it now, but it's far too late. ALSO the guitar riff is meant to mimic the gentle rocking of a boat (or a parent's arms) and that shit has NEVER left my mind"
Fast Car submitted by @smallboyonherbike + @uchihasasukeofficial + @all-our-exploring
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Soooo I made thing. I will probably redraw this in the cannon style in the future. As for my own personal style for drawing GF stuff, I'm still fleshing it out. But I have another AU now. My Hand of God AU has Ford committing to Bill and spending years trapped in a very abusive relationship, also the apocalypse so that's fun. This one's the complete opposite direction. Ford and Fidds accidentally come into possession of a pair of twins, these boys end up being the motivation it took for Ford to cut things off with Bill and do whatever it takes to keep him from ever getting out.
(I've yet to flesh out exactly how these two were born but the boys were created through anomalous means.)
On the left is Nik (Nikola) An adrenalin junkie who loves adventure and is an absolute menace to society as is the Pines tradition. On the right is Newt (Newton), a pastel-loving soft boy who will cry if you tell him pink is a girl color and gets overly attached to every weird critter Ford brings home.
Nick is missing a pinkie because Bill cut it off while possessing Ford when he was a baby as a threat. Trying to scare Ford into compliance by threatening to kill the boys. Ford did some very unsafe brain surgery on himself to make it impossible for him to ever sleep again. Cutting off Bill's ability to control him for the most part.
Portal is gone, still living in Gravity Falls though, and keeping an eye out for anyone Bill might try to manipulate. Fidds and his wife are divorced. Emma has primary custody but Tate stays with them in GF during the summers where he often bullies Nik and Newt. But Nik and Newt don't tell their dads about it because they know how much Fidds loves his other son and they don't want to make things complicated for him. Tate is just taking out his frustration over his parents failed marriage on his half-siblings. Fidds takes the twins with him when he visits Tate and the rest of his family in California for Christmas. Ford stays behind because Emma hates him and he doesn't want to deal with her family.
Ford and Fidds aren't married both cause it's not legal yet but also tbh not sure they ever would regardless just cause Ford is pretty disinterested in those sorts of formalities. Whatever it is they have going for them right now works for him.
Heavy thoughts below the cut.
TBH I made myself sad thinking about autistic people and our relationships. The way we love isn't always obvious to NT people and it can sometimes feel like you're not good enough for anyone because loving people in the way you're expected to is such a struggle.
Sometimes I see people frame Ford^2 as this completely unrequited thing and it reminds me of the experience of loving people very intensely but feeling unable to prove it because it's so difficult to live up to the standards most people have in relationships.
I like Fiddlestan as a ship it's cute and a fun idea and I get the appeal but there's a little nagging thought in the back of my head that it kind of implies Ford's neurotypical brother is better. More capable of real love. That Ford was never good enough. Not to say Fiddleford didn't deserve better but the idea that these two couldn't have worked makes me kind of depressed for kind of personal reasons so I wanted to make up a universe where they do.
Not to say there isn't plenty of material of Ford and Fidds reconnecting as old men and making it work but the fact they lost so much of their lives to bad decisions is still sad.
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“And a half”
Pairings: Neteyam X Na’vi!Reader SMUT
Word count: 3.1k
READER AND NETEYAM ARE AGED UP TO 20!
Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, p in v, oral (male and female receiving), fingering, degrading, swearing, spanking, hair pulling.
Summary: You live with the sully’s since your parents died when you were younger. You had invited friends over and they asked you how big you think your bestfriend Neteyams cock was, and he heard you. He takes you to the forest and fucks you silly to prove how big he is.
Y/n’s POV
“So y/n since you and neteyam are bestfriends and live together surely you’ve seen it, my ears twitch and my eyes widen “no i havent?” i laugh nervously, even though I haven’t seen it my mind always wonder’s how big it is, the thickness and the colour, i clench my thighs together to sooth the warm heartbeat in my core, memories of me touching myself to the thought of his long thick cock inside me. “how long do you think it is” my friends question breaks me out of my thoughts, i look at her as she smirks “quiet down remember i live with them, anyone can hear” my friends scoot closer to me “I can imagine its 18 inches” I whisper and my friends giggle “you guys are unbelievable” kiri walks in and laughs “dont you dare say a word to him” i plead her “dont worry i wont” dhe laughs “by the way your friends need to be home theyre parents are calling for them” they jump up “we’ll see you later” “cya” they walk away. “So y/n” kiri looks at me and wiggles her eyebrows “shut it kiri” i get embarrassed and I head towards the door “y/n” i hear someone call out my name and i turn around neteyam “hey” i gulp praying to eywa that he hadnt heard the previous conversation i had with my friends just moments ago, he smirks “wanna go flying?” i let out a sigh “of course” i smile then i start walking, neteyam not too far behind me “so y/n, i think your friends fancy me a little” i crinkle my nose “whys that?” i turn to face him, he looks down at me “well they were asking about my size, so they must have some interest in me” my stomach drops, oh no oh no shit. I wanna shrink in a hole, my best friend heard me talking about his dick. He leans down and whispers in my ear “18 and a half inches” my eyes widen, his hot breath fans on my neck “i-i dont know what your talking about” i look away from him in hopes he drops it “domt act like you werent talking about the size of my dick with your friends, how many times have you thought about my cock?” he rubs his hand on my cheek and i look up at him, my face is burning, my heart is beating as if its gonna explode “how many times y/n” my core tingles “a few times” i mumble this is so embarrassing, i mentally face palm “did you happen to be..touching yourself any of those times?” my breathe gets caught in my throat, my bestfriend is asking if i touch myself? a random burst of confidence hits me “maybe” I smirk. His eyes widen and he gulps “dont go all shy on me now teyam, i answered your question” i push him against a tree behind him “maybe isnt the answer i want” his raspy voice sends tingles down my spine “fine, i do touch myself to the thought of your thick cock inside me, making me see the stars” I run my hand down his stomach all the way to his thighs, his breathing quickens and his skin heats up, I lower to my knees. I look up and i smirk at him, his eyes looking down at me half opened, ears perking up high, slight pink shade spread across his face and his mouth slightly agape. “Have you ever touched yourself to the thought of me neteyam?” i place my hand over his clothed cock and I palm it softly, he sucks in a quick breathe “so many times y/n” he whimpers, i quicken my pace palming him harder and faster, his stomach raising and falling fast because of how hard and fast hes breathing, i smirk. “Tell me what you’ve pictured me doing” I look up at him giving him doe eyes as i slowly remove the cloth covering his cock “fuck um..” he clears his throat as he watches me remove his clothing, once ive fully pulled his clothing off his long cock springs out and hits his stomach, shit he wasnt lying 18 and half inches, i take him in my hand its so warm. Pre-cum slowly oozes out the top and I look up at him and smirk “come on tell me neteyam, what have you thought about me doing” “kinda like what your doing right now y/n” i smirk, i place one hand on his thigh then the other ome holding his warm member “details would be nice teyam” i let go of his cock, i bring my hand to my mouth then i spit into my hand. “i always thought about us doing this, you wrapping your soft plump lips around my cock.”
i squeeze my thighs together “your so dirty, thinking if your best friend doing that” i take him back in my hand and I pump him a few times, his eyes flutter shut “thats it y/n” i look up at him “open your eyes and look at me” he does as I say, he looks into my eyes and my core burns “what else do you think about” i pump him faster “i-fuck.. ive thought about you underneath me, screaming my name while i fuck you silly” he moans at the last words, holy shit i need him so badly. I scoot closer to him so his tip his almost touching my lips, i slowly lick his tip, tasting his pre-cum and I moan softly against him “so warm” he thigh muscles tense at my touch, lower my head taking more of him into my mouth breathe y/n breathe i remind myself to breathe through my nose so i dont gag “never thought i’d actually get you like this, all to myself” i look up at him then I slowly pull my head back letting him fall out of my mouth with a pop noise “n-no y/n i need your warm mouth on me” he whines once ive stood up “you’ll get it dont worry” i place my hand on his cheek and i softly caress it, he places his hand onto of mine then crashes his lips on mine, i grind against him softly trying to gain some friction between my thighs. He smirks into the kiss then pulls away “desperate are we y/n?” his arms snakes around my waist then softly spanks my ass “neteyam sully did you just hit me” i laugh “just a love tap” he smirks then he quickly slips us around so im pressed up against the tree. My eyes widen as i look up at him, he runs his hands down my chest, stopping at my clothed boobs “may i?” he tugs at the strings of my top softly “please” i whine, as soon as the words leave my mouth i watch his big hands tear my top revealing my boobs, his eyes widen then he looks back up at me “touch them please” he doesnt say a word, he takes my right boob into his hand and squeezes it softly, i moan at his touch hes so warm and his actions are rough i love it. He then lowers his head towards my other boob then takes my nipple in his mouth “fuck neteyam” i clench my thighs together, his hot tongue runs across my sensitive nipple then i place my hand on his head pushing him closer to my chest. My chest is falling and rising as plays with me “teyam i need you inside of me” i whisper, i lower my hand down to stroke his cock but he steps away from my body, i look at him confused had i done something wrong?. “You’ll get what you want soon, lay down now” he looks into my eyes giving me a stern look, i lower my body down then I lay my body on the ground “good girl” he praises me as he lowers to his knees, my breathe hitches at the praise and I grow more restless. He climbs on top of me, his eyes switching from my chest to my eyes “i wanna hear about your fantasies about me” he smirks, i push his braids out of his face and he lowers his face towards my chest “better start talking y/n or i wont be touching you anytime soon” he looks into my eyes and smirks revealing his fangs “fine” i pout, he places softly kisses all over my chest “i started touching myself to the thought of you when i had turned fiftee-” i was cut off by the boys laugh “shit that young?” he looks at me and laughs, my face heats up from embarrassment and i bring my hands to cover my face “no no dont be embarrassed y/n im flattered, you couldnt resist me” he smirks as he lowers his face back to my chest, slowly kissing all the way down to my stomach, i move my hands off my face “oh shut up you skxwang i was a horny fifteen year old with a boy around me all the time” he chuckles against my skin “now get to the good part” he runs his tongue down my stomach all the way to my thigh, i let out a soft moan and i grip his hair “i..i would think you were in between my legs pushing in two of your fingers inside of me” i clear my throat this is so embarrassing i mentally let out a scream “you dirty little girl” he looks up at me and a moan escapes my lips at his words. I look down at him and he has a surprised expression on his face “what?” i question him “you like being degraded” my face flushes.
he sits up then climbs on tops of me once again “does my little slut like how bad i speak to her?” he lowers his face towards my neck, he softly sucks at my skin “oh neteyam” i place my hands on the back back of his neck and i wrap my legs around his waist “please i need you so badly” i whine as i grind against him trying to look for a way to ease the throbbing in between my thighs “so needy” he mumbles in my ear then licks a stripe down my neck.
My eyes stay glued on him as he places kisses all over my thighs, hes driving me crazy hes so close to my aching pussy but yet he wont do anything “neteyam if your not gonna do anything then ill go find someone else to help me” i let out a frustrated groan, i'm so sexually frustrated i need him to touch me so badly but he wont, i let out a yelp when I feel him nip at my thigh with his fangs “your funny if you think im gonna let anyone else ever touch you again” his raspy voice mumbles against my skin “your mine now, you belong to neteyam sully” he slowly pulls down my clothing as i nod my head. I hiss as I feel the cool breeze graze against my exposed pussy, i look down at neteyam and hes basically drooling “wipe the drool off your mouth” i let out a snarky comment “your so wet, all for me” he looks into my eyes as he lowers his head between my thighs “need to taste you so bad” is all i hear him say before his tongue licks a stripe through my wet pussy “shit” i close my eyes “so good” he mumbles as he repeats his action, this time his tongue stops at my sensitive clit and sucks it softly and slowly “oh my god” i let out a sigh. He continues to suck my sensitive bud, i let out a loud moan and I grip his hair, i feel his large fingers rubbing against my opening “please” i whimper. I sound pathetic but he loves it. He listens to what i say and slowly inserts one finger into my slick opening “o-oh fuck” my back archs slightly as he finger grazes my walls, he slowly curls his finger inside of me just grazing a certain spot inside me causing me to let out a cry “another one please” i beg for him to add another finger, i need a release so bad. He does as I say and slowly slides another finger inside me, i tug his hair roughly and he groans against me sending vibrations through my core “your so fucking good at this neteyam” i push his face closer into my pussy “faster” i whine as i arch my back more, he speeds up his figure eight motions on my clit and curls his fingers once again “m’ so close, please neteyam” i squeeze my eyes shut as he moves his fingers inside me faster “fuck i-im gonna let go” i pant, i feel the hot white wave of pleasure surf through my body, i let out a string of moans mixed with neteyams name, my back arches towards the sky and my thighs close together with his head still between my legs still sucking me dry “f-fuck i cant… handle it” my legs start shaking as he continues “s-stop i cant t-take it” i beg as my body starts trembling from overstimulation. My body relaxes as he pulls away from my pussy, i look at him through my half opened eyes, my juices all around his mouth “you taste so good y/n” he softly rubs my trembling thighs “y-your so good at that” i pant as i try to catch my breath “arent you lucky i am” he smirks as he climbs on top of me again, his rock hard cock pressed against my thigh “put it inside me” i place my hands on his cheeks “you sure you can take it already after that?” he looks into my eyes reassuring i want to “yes please i need you” i nod, i use my thumb to wipe my juices off his cheek, i then place my thumb in my mouth and i suck my juices off my thumb, i feel his cock twitch against my thigh “you drive me crazy y/n” he pants as i grabs his cock and alines it with my entrance “if it becomes too much tell me to stop and i will” he looks into my eyes, i giggle “even when your able to ruin me your still a gentleman” i rub his cheek and he slowly slides inside me. We both gasp once he’s fully inside me “your so fucking warm y/n” i look into his eyes as he slowly starts moving, pulling himself out then pushing back in “you fill me so well” i whimper as he speeds up “you suck me in so well” he replies, low grunts and groans escape his lips making me love it even more. I wrap my arms around his torso and I dig my nails into his back “mark me” he pants as he thrusts in and out of me hard, i do as he says, i drag my nails down his back earning a hiss from him. “Flip over” He whispers in my ear, i do as he says. I prop myself up on my knees, my head on the ground.
with my ass in the air waiting for him to enter inside me again, i gasp as i feel him quickly thrust inside me “shit” I scream. He places his hand on my ass and squeezes it, his thrusts become harder and faster i could tell hes close “fucking hell..i..love your cock” i struggle to form any words “filling me so w-well” he rubs my back with one hand then his other grips my waist, i clench around him and i hear him groan “your mine forever” he groans as I clench around him once again “now you wont have to guess how big i am” I can even hear the smirk in his voice “y-yeah i wont be talking to my friends a-about your cock anymore” I moan after i finish my sentence “your all mine, y-your cock is a-all mine and mine only” I feel his cock twitch inside me, were both extremely close “i’m bout t-to cum” i let out a pant, his grip on my waist gets tighter “such a good little slut letting me use her wet cunt” he spanks my ass, his words tip me over the edge, my body shakes as my second orgasm rolls over my body “oh my fuck” i let out a scream as neteyam lowers his hand on clit and rubs it slowly increasing the pleasure to my orgasm “thats it baby let it out” he thrusts into me harder as he tries to search for his high “gonna cum inside you yeah?” he spanks my ass once again and smirks at the red handprint “p-please cum inside me, need you inside” i say weakly as my body continues shaking “fuck fuck fuck” i feel his body shake against mine as his hot cum spills inside me “your so fucking good y/n” he grips my hair and pulls me up so im sitting on his lap while his cum still spills out inside of me “your mine” he wraps his hand around my neck as he whimpers in my ear, i grind against him slowly helping him ride out his high “t-that was so good” he pants in my ear “now maybe you’ll remember 18 and a half inches”.
DM me your requests !! :)
idk if i like this
#avatar way of water#avatar#neteyam#neteyam imagine#neteyam sully#neteyam x reader#neteyam sully smut#requests
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