#why can’t the world be kinder?

[nope-body]

.

[fairycosmos]

i am tired of having to be brave i feel like i am barely living when i have to prepare myself for terror or rejection or hardship or grief every single day why can’t the world just be kinder why is it on me to develop superhuman levels of strength and resiliency just to make it through the week. i’m sick of it

[strawberry-halla]

something so amazing about solas is that he is very good at predicting his enemies and his allies moves. he’s always thinking 5 steps ahead, even varric says this. (long post incoming!)

but when it comes to lavellan, he could never predict her. when he first meets her, solas thinks she’s just another dalish elf that is unwilling to listen to his advice. nope turns out she can be willing and not only that but asks him about what he knows so she can better understand the fade/spirits/ancient elves.

and then the haven dream kiss! she’s the one who initiates and solas is once again thrown off guard because he never expected that. and then he just gives into it with so much passion and fade tongue.

in all new, faded for her, solas is once again surprised lavellan agrees with his plan to free his friend, the spirit of wisdom. because nobody in the entire inquisition (except cole) would be down for this?? like all the world knows about spirits is that they don’t ever come in contact with people unless very rarely. they’re an enigma, something to be feared even because they can become demons. but nah lavellan is like ‘yep sounds good let’s go save your friend!’

and solas after this tries to rationalize lavellan’s bizarre behavior as something the anchor changed about her. because he has always known how to read people. he can’t understand her. he thinks her ‘spirit’ has changed due to magic’s influence.

but no, lavellan surprises once again by pointing out that her choices are her own or that if the anchor did change her, wouldn’t she notice? like no wonder solas is so fucking down bad. lavellan subverts everything he thought about the modern people, not just exclusively elves. she’s constantly showing him new points of view and challenging his whole mission. and so the cracks start to form.

“you show a wisdom i haven’t seen since…*pause* my deepest journeys into the ancient memories of the fade.”

“your mind, your morals, your… *pause* spirit.”

“it would be kinder in the long run. but losing you would- *cuts himself off*”

and then if lavellan drinks from the well, this conversation and the previous quest itself (what pride had wrought) just cracks solas wide open (even if she didn’t drink). he’s visibly upset because he’s afraid the well will change lavellan and he knows first hand what it’s like to do everything for someone who made the wrong choices! so solas asks what she would do with the power of the well and he’s ONCE AGAIN thrown off guard by her answer. i really like the “help the world move forward” option because it almost aligns with solas’s plan but it doesn’t.

s: “you would risk everything you have in the hope the future is better? what if it isn’t? what if you wake up to find the future you shaped is worse than what it was?”

l: “i’ll take a breath, see where things went wrong, and then try again.”

s: “just like that?”

l: “if we don’t keep trying, we’ll never get it right.”

you’d think this would be an affirmation that solas’s plan is right, but it’s not. lavellan is wanting to fix things now and shape a better future with the well’s power. it’s eerily similar, but once again a path solas didn’t consider. she surprises once more. using the wisdom from the well to help, rather than command. sound familiar? this conversation just solidifies solas’s want. to be himself and to be solas, not fen’harel, with lavellan.

so he takes her to crestwood. somewhere intimate and quiet just for the two of them. a place where the veil is thinnest because it’s easy for spirits to cross and be comfortable. solas is going to tell lavellan the truth. he’s going to abandon his plan. but then solas gets in his own head. he fights with the possibility of her rejecting him because why wouldn’t she? he’s the very god in her culture that ruined everything. what if lavellan sees him for the monster history painted him? and then he realizes why he even wanted to tear down the veil. to avenge his oldest friend and right the wrongs he did to the elves. and it all comes crashing down in not even a second.

“then what i must tell you�� *pause* …the truth.”

solas backpedals so fucking hard. the reality of everything just hits him. so he quickly redirects to the vallaslin topic because it’s familiar as he looks down at lavellan’s face and sees the markings of the very gods he locked away.

remove the vallaslin or not solas still loves her no matter what. and the sad option is still my favorite here because once again solas is slipping.

s: “you have a rare and marvelous spirit. in another world-“

l: “why not this one?”

and then at the end of veilguard, lavellan does one more thing solas doesn’t expect. after hurting her, betraying her, leaving her alone without any answers, killing one of her friends, and almost succeeding in his plan, she forgives him. lavellan abandons thedas and everything she knew to be with him. to the very end, she is subverting his tragic expectations.

“this journey is not yours alone. we make it together, always.”

[tired-biscuit]

is it weird I wanna rub my face against Logan chest hair?

18+ MDNI, fem!reader // established relationship, domestic bliss

wc: 1.2k+

———

definitely not. hairy men are hot!

like, now i’m thinking about finally getting a day to yourselves and spending the majority of it in bed. cuddling, resting, catching up after an excruciatingly busy week, with your limbs tightly intertwined and your voices soft and hushed because despite being a mutant that’s been blessed with inhuman strength, logan’s body and mind both feel so overworked and exhausted that he’s practically sinking into the mattress with a prolonged and incredibly grateful groan.

continuously fighting for the sake of being the ‘good guy’ is no small task, after all… it can take quite a toll on him sometimes — powers or no powers.

still, that specific role has been graciously placed to the back of his mind for now because he’s fresh out of the shower and he’s scrubbed all of the grime and sweat off of his skin, keeping it clean until it’s time for him to head out the door again — straight into a world where wolverine stands front and center.

but for now, he gets to be just logan. nothing more, nothing less.

and speaking of logan; his hair is still slightly damp from the previously mentioned shower. the wolfy ear-like shapes that he prefers to style atop his head have drooped slightly with the weight of the water, and the apples of his cheeks have become flushed from the steam.

the smell of the shower gel that you had picked for him a little while ago at the store mixes with his signaturely masculine, heavy scent. it only intensifies, steadily filling your nostrils when you swing your leg over his middle to pull yourself on top of him and lay your head on his bare chest.

he didn’t bother putting a shirt on. i mean, why would he, when he’s in the privacy of his own home and at long fucking last doesn’t have to look presentable — he calls it fancy, the idiot — for anyone?

but anyways, his rough hands wrap around your hips when you straddle him. he exhales deeply, the breath long and content, but it breaks into a confused chuckle when you begin to rub your cheek against the hair on his chest all of a sudden.

“uh,” he starts, arching a dark eyebrow even though you can’t see it from how busy you are with smushing your face into his tits as far as it’ll go. “should i even ask, or…?”

“just petting myself against your love rug, my dearest,” you mumble, unfazed by the curiosity that’s lacing his voice. “unlike the rest of you, it’s surprisingly soft. feels kind of nice.”

the corner of logan’s mouth twitches upwards at that. it’s barely there, less of a smile and more of a smirk, but it’s there.

“unlike the rest of me?” he repeats, clearly amused in some shape or form now.

you stop the movement to roll your eyes at him. “i meant your crazy man muscles and the whole skeleton enveloped in metal thing that you’ve got going on for yourself, not your dick, you pervert.”

there’s a second chuckle slippist past his lips, and you can hear this one rumble in the depths of his chest before he asks, “who said anything about my dick?”

you look up into his hazel eyes as you rest your chin on your knuckles, grinning at the glint of playfulness that’s residing there. his forehead is smooth, no deep wrinkle of agitation in sight. gosh, you love it when he’s relaxed and happy. it makes him appear kinder, even if you do have a weak spot for his more broody side.

“well… what else have you got that’s hard, then?” you ask, choosing to play along now.

“easy,” he replies. “my heart.”

you stare at him. he stares at you.

a steady beat of silence stretches out between you.

“pfsh,” you huff finally, immediately snickering like a girl in love. “your heart? seriously?”

“what?” he asks, stroking his fingers up and down your sides. his touch is so warm, it stirrs you into motion, lures you into grinding your hips against his own. slow and lazy and thorough — just like the way your entire day off has been spent so far.

blood rushes below logan’s waistline as a result. he readjusts, gripping you tighter by the hips, pressing you down on instinct. you can feel him poking you between your legs already. eager.

“oh, nothing,” you purr, reaching out to comb your fingers through his hair, picking up the moisture there. “i’m just a bit taken aback by this piece of information, that’s all… i mean, for a man who loves to cuddle every chance he gets and who secretly enjoys having his fruit cut up by me into tiny little slices despite possessing claws, you sure as hell don’t strike me as someone with a hard heart, you know.”

foreheads pressing against one another, you keep your voice as quiet as it can be when you add, “the truth is that you’re a softy, logan... like a teddy bear or a really good pillow, it’s always nice to have you at home. and i love you for it.”

you say it like it’s a secret.

before he can respond, you lean in to place a gentle kiss on his lips, then, just for the sake of provoking him further. his stubble scrapes your skin, prickling slightly when he pushes forward to deepen the kiss, and you can feel his strong heartbeat speed up underneath your palms.

it keeps doing that as of late. racing on and on and on… hmm.

logan looks up at you, his pupils visibly dilating as he takes you in. the shape of your face, the curve of your cupid’s bow, the love that he still can’t believe you harbour for him of all people, and that’s currently swirling inside your eyes. you even smell like love, goddammit.

he doesn’t say the words back — he can’t yet, he’s not ready but he will be, you just have to give him time, just wait for him, please — but what he does is flip you around in one smooth movement and pins you down with the help of his hand holding onto both of your wrists.

there’s no pressure behind the grip, but you know he doesn’t feel the need to apply it because he’s positive that you won’t go anywhere. and he’s so big above you now; the curve of his shoulders is broad, the muscles in his back are strong and flexing with anticipation. even his eyes have turned dark. like an animal’s that’s gone into hunt.

he hunches his shoulders slightly as he drops lower to cup your cheek and kiss you again, this time being the one to initiate it first. with the distance now nearly gone, you open your legs further for him, locking your ankles on the small of his back. he uses the chance to press the hard-on that’s painfully straining his boxers against you.

breaths intermingle as you both begin to pant. his cock is big just like the rest of him is, heavy. you squirm, lifting yourself just enough for him to help you take your shirt off. his chest presses against yours after that, sharing the warmth, sticking with upcoming sweat, making you feel the silky smooth hair that’s residing there and driving you even more wild.

“oh, by the way,” he murmurs between hot kisses, fingers already tugging on the waistband of your panties, “never say love rug again. when you need me to pet you, just tell me.”

[saixria]

The ICHBW live stream animatic is hitting me hard hours after the fact I’m not a crier but I’m actually tearing up. Now I can fully articulate what I love about Athena’s part. Athena’s character came together so well I love it and I think the visuals combined with a day more of thinking + discussing with friends really helped me better understand everything. Those last 90 seconds of ICHBW was the BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE SHOW. Ridiculously long Athena character analysis under the cut which quickly devolves into thematic discussion lmao

First of all, the expressions they have on the animatic makes it abundantly clear that ody and Athena weren’t separated. HER SMILE!! HER LIGHTNING SCAR!! ODYSSEUS’ EXPRESSION SOFTENED TO A SMILE AFTER GETTING OUT OF QUICK THOUGHT!! Odysseus definitely pieced together what she did for her right then, there’s no other reason for Jorge to show Athena showing Odysseus that scar otherwise. It’s like they immediately slid back into place like puzzles pieces even after 10 years. They’ve been changed in completely opposite ways. Odysseus the mortal has been turned to be less human, more ruthless, while Athena the immortal goddess has been turned to be more human, more empathetic. The latter partially because of Odysseus. Tbh Athena ever showing her face to Odysseus after My Goodbye and saying “I can’t help but feel like I’ve led you astray” is as close to an apology as it’s gonna get LMAO. The unresolved WOTM melody in the end is actually because their story together hasn’t ended, it’s because Odysseus doesn’t have to be her warrior of the mind anymore.

I once said that open arms is more than mercy, but treating the world kindly to lead to kinder souls down the road, to change the world for the better, and it holds true even more now. Odysseus is too tired for this. He’s just a man, he knows a better world is possible but he can no longer be a part of it. He can’t witness the better world in his short mortal lifetime, he just wants his happy ending with his wife. He doesn’t want to be Athena’s warrior of the mind anymore, and that’s ok. And yet, and yet he knows it is possible. He needs it to be possible, and he needs Athena to make it possible. Athena accepts it with a soft “very well”. That doesn’t mean they won’t ever see each other again, just that they no longer have that obligation of mentor-student, they’re just two old friends. They can rebuild their relationship slowly but surely with what they have.

Telemachus is the Warrior of the Mind now (AHHHHHH HIS ATHENA CAPE AND HELMET I LOVE HIS UPGRADE). From here, Telemachus and Athena are gonna truly fulfill Athena’s mission of “making a greater tomorrow” except it isn’t to turn the world more logical and ruthless like she once thought, but to make the world more empathetic and kind — she’s finally found what she was fighting for. Perhaps this is why the WOTM melody in God Games ended with Legendary — Telemachus is the new warrior of the mind. Odysseus fought for a world where his son can be safe and grow up kind and he succeeded in that. Far from war, Telemachus grew up able to afford kindness and empathy while also retaining the ability to be ruthless in face of obstacles — and now he can use this to change the world to Athena’s new ideal — where people held each other with more empathy — as Athena’s new Warrior of the Mind.

Athena’s verse existing is a sign of her reconciliation with Odysseus (in character might I add! I don’t think they’re the type to express their affection so easily, they know each other so we’ll that they just know), so instead her verse is there to expand on the show’s theme as I will be talking about next.

I absolutely adore the depth Athena’s ICHBW verse adds to the thesis of the show. I’ve always thought of epic as mostly being about how it was best to strive for a balance between ruthlessness and open arms, but circumstances only allowed Odysseus to become ruthless which was tragic, while different circumstances allowed Telemachus to be both. But it’s not just that. Sure it’s good to have a balance between the two ideaologies but what if we could make a world where ruthlessness wasn’t needed at all? What if we could be unconditionally kind and be treated with kindness in return instead of taken advantage of or hurt? Where, when given the choice between open arms and ruthlessness, people would choose open arms? It wasn’t possible for these characters, but it could happen someday in the future. If Athena and Telemachus can work towards that future so can we. So should we, considering we’re in a much better place compared to them. A friend of mine said this was a call to action to us in the present and I just. Have not been able to stop thinking about it.

Athena has always thought in “maybes” about her purpose. from WOTM to My Goodbye we’ll be fine to ICHBW. “Maybe one day…” -> “One day you’ll…” -> “maybe if I…” -> “what if…” it’s like she’s representing the future, the “greater tomorrow” of what could be, because as Odysseus said, she’s immortal and she will live to see it and change it. Circe saga has something similar — “Maybe showing one act of kindness leads to kinder souls down the road”, “maybe one day the world will need a puppeteer no more, or maybe one day the world will need a puppeteer more”. The connection of these hypotheticals “maybe one day” with a future world that could possibly be changed for the better by spreading kindness and open arms extends from Athena’s songs to There are Other Ways, one of the only times in the musical where, when Circe could choose between ruthlessness and mercy, she chose to show mercy and help them in hopes of spreading kindness to the world and making the world a slightly better place — aka a scenario that showed how unconditional kindness, “open arms”, could work, for kindness isn’t the inability to be cruel but choosing kindness even when you have the choice not to be. “Kindness is brave”, like Polites said.

Because of her immortality, Athena is the character who’s most connected to “time” in the musical with her time-related abilities like “time dive”, making people think quicker, having a domain essentially outside of time and space… She doesn’t just have a connection with the future but also the past. As someone who lives forever, she is the one who can connect the past, learning from past mistakes, to change the future: “To fall is to learn one way”.

Speaking of her connection to time, You can almost see that at one point Athena was the narrator of the story (see cut songs: full speed ahead demo and Ismarus) like Hamilton’s Burr: simultaneously an observer and a participant of the story. In the animatic of ICHBW she’s overseeing everything happening from her hour glass, wondering out loud from a meta perspective about the themes of the show, hypotheticals of what a different story, a different world could have looked like, and bringing everything to a close. It really feels like Athena is who’s gonna “live and tell their story” as per Hamilton, as always has been the case from burrthena narration days of Old Epic. She’s not just the bridge between the past and future but also between the story and the audience, by bringing up these themes on a meta level to directly tell the audience to make the world a kinder place, because we have the choice, unlike Odysseus who can only choose to accept his actions and move forward. Because she lives forever she can carry on their memories forever. She can keep telling their story over and over again to remind herself and others to change the world by showing empathy and open arms, and she will keep telling this story to us until ruthlessness is no longer needed in the world. The world where this is possible is not theirs but OURS. It is WE who have the chance to choose between ruthlessness and open arms and the show is telling us that, when we have this choice and aren’t forced to be ruthless, to always choose kindness and empathy. Like Circe, like Telemachus. So that we may impart some kindness unto the world and make it a better place.

“Maybe one day we’ll reach them and we’ll make a greater tomorrow then they’ll see I know we’ll change the world cuz we are the warriors of the mind!” — yes, they have reached us. We are all also warriors of the mind, doing our part to change the world for the better, to be kinder.

To me, one part of Athena’s character that’s never clicked for me was her motivation in WOTM. “Make a greater tomorrow” “we’ll change the world” why? How? What’s the point of including this in her song when it’s never come back up again? Now with the ICHBW verse, everything is tied up with a beautiful ribbon. She has always wanted to change the world for the better, and now she’s finally found out how — to spread empathy and Open Arms — and it’s inspired by the desire to help her friends, to prevent what happened to Odysseus from happening again, honoring him, just as how Odysseus tried to embrace Open Arms to honor his dead friends’ memories.

All in all, I’ve grown to genuinely really really like Athena’s verse in ICHBW. It’s so short but so effective at conveying so much. I hope that made sense bc it’s more a compilation of thoughts I had rather than a structured essay. Perhaps one day I will restructure this into a proper essay but not today for after all I’m- *gets shot

[blue-mood-blue]

I have been thinking about the blackening (as one does)…

…and it’s so interesting to me, the penalty Shen Qingqiu is faced with should he not decide to yeet his disciple into hell.

Account termination. Instant death. Sent directly home to his already-long-dead body, and that’s it for the villain of the piece who outright refuses his villainy. The protagonist needs a blackening for the story to continue, and Shen Qingqiu is going to provide it or get written out of the narrative. Either way, Luo Binghe is going to lose him. Either way, this is a turning point.

I wouldn’t claim that this is the intent of the penalty, but it fascinates me that the System has, potentially, backed the plotline into a corner - because Binghe still stands to be blackened even if Shen Qingqiu took the other choice.

Think about what that would look like, to him. He’s at the Immortal Alliance Conference, and everything is going wrong. He’s been outed as a demon, and not just a demon - the top tier of demon, as bad as it gets from the perspective of a righteous cultivator. His beloved teacher, the person who has been kindest to him and opened his home and heart to him, is standing there with his sword in hand, deciding what he’s going to do about what must look, to him, like a horrific betrayal. Binghe is apologizing. Binghe is begging for his life.

Shen Qingqiu hears him. Maybe it shows on his face, or in his voice, that he already knew; maybe there’s no hint at all, but Shen Qingqiu is suddenly talking quickly with an abrupt sense of urgency that Luo Binghe is having a hard time keeping up with. Telling him he’ll be wonderful - telling him he’s the best. Telling him the world will be his, with emotions cracking through that aloof mask that Binghe has never seen on Shizun’s face before, and it’s terrifying for reasons that Binghe cannot identify.

(He will, later. When he has time to think, he’ll realize it sounded like a goodbye.)

And then Shen Qingqiu is bleeding. And then Shen Qingqiu is on the ground. And then Shen Qingqiu is dead. There’s no countdown for Binghe - there’s no System, there’s no warning, there’s no answers.

Luo Binghe is a heavenly demon in the middle of a conference sabotaged by demons. Luo Binghe is alone. His fellow competing disciples are scattered, some dead or injured. The Peak Lord of Qing Jing Peak, the second in command of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, maybe the only person he loved and who loved him back, is dead at his feet. No one will believe him if he says it isn’t his fault.

(He can’t believe it isn’t his fault.)

What choice does he have but to run? The last heavenly demon the cultivation world went up against has been sealed under a mountain for years, and one of the people responsible for that is probably looking for Shen Qingqiu already. They’ll be looking for him, too. There isn’t anywhere to hide; there isn’t any time to mourn.

There isn’t even enough time to ask why. Why again.

There is no closure waiting for him, because there is nothing to explain what happened. It just is.

It would be a different kind of blackening, certainly - less intense, probably, less of a warping, desperate thing. But how many times can one person have all the love and safety in their world torn out from under them before it starts to show? Before they just don’t allow things like love and safety to touch them, because that’s the better option?

Interesting to consider that, simply by offering the choices it did, the System rigged the story to guarantee that Luo Binghe would end up in hell (deliberate or not).

Interesting to consider that, even if Shen Qingqiu made what might have seemed like a kinder choice, there was every chance it wouldn’t have been.

[fallstaticexit]

Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort

Geoffrey and Bob Karaoke selection- Creep - Radiohead

AN: A little more insight on Nancy and her major: Nancy is majoring in architecture. The Landgraabs are famously known for owning land and property- both residential and commercial- and Nancy will eventually operate the part of family business that will allow her to design houses, buildings and other structures in addition to leasing. (Geoffrey comes from a family of doctors but he decided to get a business degree- as he knows this would likely please Nancy's parents)

Transcript under the cut

Siobhan: Think about it, Nancy! Making your mark on this university—on the world—begins with Theta!

Becca: Nice one, you two.

Nancy: They only want me to join their organization because it’ll benefit them. All they care about is money -Ouch!

Geoffrey: [winces] Sorry. Your knees are completely raw.

Geoffrey: They’ve only got as far as knowing your name. If you give them a chance to get to know the real you-

Nancy: There’s nothing to know! Why do you think I had my parents make arrangements so I’d have my own room? I don’t want roommates. I don’t want friends! I just want to do my time so I can-

Geoffrey: Get away, I know...but what if you just take the next four years to have fun? It’s ok to just enjoy it for what it is. Isn’t that what college is all about?

Nancy: [scoffs] Sure, for you. You don’t have the same expectations as me.

Nancy: You can be anything you want. You can join any sports team; you can switch your major a million times if you want to. I have to excel at everything I do, whether I want to or not, and I cannot come out of this a failure. I have to be ready to start working along with my parents the moment I graduate.

Geoffrey: I just want you to be happy. I want you to take care of yourself. Be kinder to yourself. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. You’re a good person. You’re an amazing person, Nancy. Anyone would be lucky to be apart of your life.

Geoffrey: Does this hurt?

Nancy: Yes. It hurts.

Nancy: You’re too good for me.

Geoffrey: Don’t say that.

Geoffrey: It’s Karaoke night at Tab’s. Bobby and I wanted to check it out. Did you want to go?

Nancy: I think I’ll pass. I should get started on this project for Munch. I want to get ahead.

Geoffrey: If you change your mind, come down and unwind a bit. Have fun. Eat. Ok?

Nancy: Ok.

Geoffrey: I love you, Nance.

[door shuts]

Nancy Narrates: [I’m holding him back. A selfish part of me knows it, but I can’t fathom the thought of losing someone else]

[distant laughter]

Nancy: Heavenly Father, help me to find peace in Your love and wisdom-

Geoffrey and Bob Karaoke Pick: Creep by Radiohead I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here

[crowd whistles and cheers]

I don't care if it hurts I wanna have control

I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul

Morgan: [hums] Upright High Priestess. That’s twice now. Once again, my intuition is being called forth.

I want you to notice When I'm not around

Morgan: My appetite is off. I can’t focus. If I weren’t on the pill, I’d think I was knocked up. So. What does that leave me with? I can almost bet this is all connected to-

Morgan: You! You have something to do with this.

Nancy: [frowns] Do with...what, exactly?

You're so fuckin' special I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo

Morgan: Rich Christian girl with walls as high as Berlin stumbles on campus and taps my shoulder. I had a dream the night before that I placed an injured dove back into its nest. I think this is fate. Sit. I’ll do your reading. Free of charge, of course.

Nancy Narrates: [I didn’t know it then, how right she was. About fate. About everything]

What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here

[strawbeerossi]

August || Chapter Two

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Chapter Description: Spencer confides his guilt of losing you as a friend into JJ and he hatches a surefire plan to get you back. In the meantime, you are still struggling to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. Although mourning is slowly manifesting into exhaustion.

Content/Warnings: Guilt, Spencer trying to buy friendship, reader is a tad hostile, threats of violence, a special interaction at the end.

WC: 2.5K

Navigation || August Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Request

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“I can’t believe that she said that!” JJ stared at Spencer in shock, the male sulking on the couch while he brought a hand up to rub his face. “So now she is just abandoning you? Some friend.” She murmured.

JJ felt she did nothing wrong. After all, you and Spencer weren’t dating and the confession was life and death at the time. She never assumed he would approach her and ask her if what she said was true. She could accept how she’d be the villain to Will but that was neither here nor there.

“I just feel like I was too harsh at the moment. I know it’s the truth but I could’ve been kinder to her about it..” Spencer had been going over the full interaction in his mind for hours, worried about wherever you stormed off to. He could take a hint, you didn’t want him to follow so he stayed with Penelope, who looked at him with disappointment and disapproval. It was never easy to swallow whenever even the lovable blonde knew that you were in the wrong.

“What more could you have said?” JJ asked, face softening as she was sitting beside Spencer while her gaze was fixed on him. “You told her that you didn’t assume it was serious. That’s the truth. She's upset with your honesty, that’s hardly your fault. She will have to get over it.” 

The more they talked about it, the worse that Spencer began to feel. Sure, you had feelings that he didn’t know about prior to the JJ situation but there was a lot more that he still could have done. He couldn’t help but ponder what could’ve happened if he explained everything to you right after they were released from their hostage situation. 

You could’ve talked some sort of sense into him, maybe something along the lines of a nicer reminder of JJ’s husband and children. He was blinded by devotion and adoration to JJ, quite frankly, he still was. Regardless, he couldn’t afford to completely lose you, not after the way you’d worked so hard to get him to open up to you.

All he needed was to figure out how to make things better. It would take a lot of time and effort but he knew that just as you had broken his wall down whenever you first started, he could break yours down as well.

You weren’t interested in those games. Spencer had begun approaching you at the office a few weeks after your last conversation. He would bring you your favorite desserts, a coffee, sometimes even flowers in an attempt for reconciliation. 

Luke definitely appreciated the gesture though, being the lucky one to get whatever beverage or food item that Spencer tried putting on your desk. It was annoying, truth be told. You set a firm boundary, one that you assumed he’d be more than happy to follow. After all, JJ was the light of his life now, you didn’t understand why he was so focused on you again. With the way she continuously followed him around, it seemed as if they were plenty happy.

Just like every day, you walked to your desk on a bright Monday morning to see a muffin sitting on your desk. Spencer was trying to be sly, hand against his cheek as his eyes were subtly looking in your direction. 

However, the pattern continued much to Spencer’s dismay. 

“Wow, thanks.” Luke was grinning as you held out the baked good towards him, happily reaching for the muffin. In the first few instances, you felt bad for Spencer, your heart still holding out hope for reconciliation and the chance for him to change his mind and just be with you instead.

That dream was massacred worse than the murders from the likes of George Foyet and Mr. Scratch. Especially when you realized it was almost as if he expected to be immediately forgiven, even though his actions could never warrant instant reconciliation. 

“It’s gonna take more than confectionary goods and coffee.” You stated in a simple tone, eyes down on your desk as you could feel Spencer’s eyes fixated on you. “I’d hope you’re not ignorant enough to believe that buying my friendship is all it takes.” 

“Right..” Spencer frowned while looking away, fingertips drumming against the wooden desk. “I’m trying.”

“Not hard enough.” 

He could admit his attempts were lazy, the idea of getting treats being a shot in the dark. You wouldn’t speak to him, so he was having to sift through every single idea in his brain. He may have been a genius but he was horrible with apologies, never being able to articulate the words he needed to say without the stress of offending anyone being there. The words were hard to find for him. 

He could give a profile, intricate details about victims and serial killers as well as absorbing every ounce of their past and personality. He could apply that same logic here, although he felt like treating you like a victim or a serial killer wouldn’t make things any better. Probably even worse. 

Regardless of that, he was more than determined to rekindle your friendship, even though deep down he knew that it could never be the same. Being complacent in the end of a marriage made nobody look good, he should’ve had the common sense to think of that before.

“I don’t understand why things have to be this way.” JJ spoke up, a mug of coffee in her hand as she was walking from the kitchenette. “We can talk about things, make them a little easier. I mean, I think a conversation is long overdue.”

You were shaking your head. “I have nothing to say to either one of you. I wish you would get it through your thick skulls. You had a chance to talk to me after everything happened and you stayed quiet. It shows what your intentions were. You aren’t ashamed of what you’ve done and you clearly didn’t care about the fate of our friendship at the time, so I see where I stand.”

“I just think it’s unfair. That’s all. Spencer is trying.”

“Life is unfair. He should try harder.” You responded, calm and collected so as to not get yelled at by Emily again for an outburst. You didn’t have the energy to yell at them anyway, they weren’t worth it.

“I don’t know what else you expected.” Matt spoke up from his desk, leaning back in his chair. He hardly ever got involved but this situation was enough to frustrate him and his wife. “JJ, you knew what you were doing when you decided to pursue Spencer. Not only did you betray a friend but you ruined your own marriage over it. You had vows with Will and completely tore them up and burned them in front of everyone.”

Spencer was sighing from frustration from his desk. “I understand what was wrong about this situation but continuously bringing up the incident isn’t going to benefit anyone..” He spoke while bringing a hand up to rub his face.

“You can’t handle hearing what you’ve done. It’s natural for people who feel guilty.” Luke hummed as he let his arms cross. You really did have the whole team on your side, it seemed. That helped more than ever, honestly. 

“You’re biased in this case. We all are. Arguing will get us nowhere.” You spoke up, a soft sigh leaving your lips. “You think you did nothing wrong and we all know that you did. That’s all there is to it. Just let the fantasy go. I’m not interested in friendship with either one of you. Not now anyway.” 

It was honest, mainly due to the fact that you didn’t want to spend all your time talking about the possibility of friendship after such a stab to your heart.

“I think you should at least allow us to extend the olive branch. Spencer at the very least,” JJ began while putting her hands together. 

“Giving me a branch will only result in you getting beat over the head with it. I told you, I’m ot interested in pretending that things are okay and that I’m perfectly happy with the both of you. That’s not going to happen. I’m telling you that if you want to salvage any morsel of a friendship, you need to leave me alone.”

That seemed to be enough to make Spencer look back down at his desk, gaze fixed on the file on his desk although he couldn’t bring himself to focus. He didn’t want to have things completely ruined between you both, even if the blueprints for that were there. He felt anger, anger at himself for his way of going about the whole relationship business. He wasn’t made aware of the feelings you once had until it was too late for that to even be discussed.

JJ was angry but not at herself, more-so at the fact that you just weren’t open to the shortest of discussions. Explanations were always used to clear up negatives in every aspect of life. This was no different. “But-”

“Jennifer. Just let it be.” Spencer spoke up with a frown on his face. The use of her first name meant business, that was what made her stop and turn to face him. “Leave her alone. She’s not interested right now. We can talk to her some other time.”

You were thankful, however you didn’t acknowledge the action. 

After that, it was seemingly smooth sailing. Your day was spent finishing case files and ultimately filing them away whenever things were finished. It was honestly the most peaceful you’d been in weeks. It did feel weird, not having Spencer following you like a lost puppy and making an attempt to reconcile.

You oddly.. Missed it. 

Spencer didn’t deserve any of the feelings you felt towards him but you just couldn’t turn off those feelings. Not in the slightest. You still harbored love and care. You needed to put that love and care into yourself, to learn to move on and release any thought of what could have been. 

You were torn from your thoughts when you felt a hand against your shoulder, the touch startling you enough to make you quickly turn around. You were met by Emily offering a small smile back at you. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I just saw you standing here for a while and I had to check up on you.”

“It’s fine. I, uh, I’m okay!” You offered a smile to match hers. “Just thinking of some stuff.”

“Well, Penelope has expressed concern to me, as has everyone else, so I just figured that you needed someone to talk to. I don’t like to brag but.. I am a very good listener.” She mused, her hand moving from your shoulder to rest by her side once more. 

Of course Emily would approach you. You could talk to her about anything without being shamed, even if she could tell you the harsh truth when you needed to hear it. That was why you admired her so much. She was strong, confident. A woman who would speak her mind without fear of anything.

“We obviously don’t have to talk here. We can go to my office, if you’d prefer.” She was trying to get you out of your own head, to help you heal in a constructive way. You were mourning the loss of friendships and she was the one out of everyone else who could understand the complexities of your feelings. She mourned the loss of the team in a far different manner in her past but she knew all the same.

“Yeah.. Okay.” You reluctantly agreed, following close behind as you both made a b-line to her office. You felt stupid, having to cry about how a relationship that isn’t even your own has deeply affected you. 

The minute you were in the safety of her office, you felt an aura of safety. This room was a place where you could speak freely, to rant about your feelings and even shed a few tears all while being in the confinement of the office.

Once that door was shut and the blinds were drawn, you took in a breath. “I don’t want you to think that I’m overreacting.”

“You’re not. You know that you are allowed to have feelings. My only issue is what those feelings are doing to you. I’ve never seen you so upset before.” She said softly while getting seated at her own desk. “Everyone needs to vent sometimes, even if the other person is just listening. I just want to help you in an effort to move past this.” She admitted.

“I also want to make an effort to help you. I want you to grow stronger from this experience rather than cower down and refuse to accept the fact that they are together. I love you, dearly. That’s why you need to know that they shouldn’t bother you. That whole situation is a shitshow and I know that. I just want you to mourn the loss of your friendships and not sulk over this relationship..” 

The lecture was much needed, forcing you to soak up the fact that she was right. You shouldn’t be heartbroken over them. Your friendships were one thing to be upset about but their relationship was none of your business. “I can understand where you’re coming from. I just.. Em.. I don’t know how to deal with this situation. It’s hard to even think about the situation. Maybe it’s the betrayal from JJ that hurts so much.”

“Betrayal can hurt anyone. Believe me, I know. I just want to see you thriving. Between you and I, I feel like you could do much better than him. I used to root for you both but after this nonsense? I’d rather see you with someone who will appreciate what they have. Friend or not. If you and Spencer could work out your friendship, then I’ll be happy. I just hope you consider these circumstances later.”

“Right. I just told him and JJ that I need my space from them. Working with them is one thing but I have no desire to talk to them outside of the work environment.”

“And that’s fine. Just don’t let these negatives throw you off when it comes to your job. Getting along will make things easier, work conversation is a part of that.” Emily wasn’t going to force you to speak to either of them outside of cases and work hours. That wouldn’t be constructive at all.

“Please don’t think that I’m not looking out for you. I’ll always be here for you,” The raven haired beauty said softly as she was reaching over the desk to gently take one of your hands in hers, a reassuring smile on her face as her thumb swiped over your knuckles.

It was oddly.. Affectionate. More affectionate than you were used to coming from Emily.

[ar-ghilas-vir-banal]

I’m so far down this spiral oh my God.

You’re Solas. You’ve had an existence of tragedy and pain and just… awful. So much awful. You’ve been hurt and you’ve hurt. You’ve ended the world. You had to. You never wanted this. You never wanted a body or to leave the Fade or to exist in this way. You wanted to be Wisdom.

Your friend branded you as a slave. She said you aren’t but… Why would she do such a thing? You try not to think about it.

Your friend convinced you to extinguish the magic and spark of an entire race. And you do it. And you’re sick. You’re sick and you can’t get well. But… it was what your friend wanted. And you loved her and… isn’t this how you love people?

She dies. You warned her, you begged her and she still… and they killed her. Her own family killed her. You’re rage. Rage and grief and you have to do something. Vengeance. Her blood calls out for it. And yours does too. The lyrium in your very bones sings for it.

And then it’s all… dead. Gone. Imprisoned. You’re nearly dead yourself. And so you sleep. For so very long, you sleep.

But now you’re walking the in the millennium aftermath of it all. You know you’re becoming something rotten not too long into this fight. Felassan fails. You don’t care about why. You don’t listen to him. Your rage rises up and you strike him.

And you’re truly alone now.

Perhaps you should’ve always been.

So you bear down and while you lack much of your former power… you find you aren’t above acquiring a tool for the job.

This admittedly horrible plan messes all the way up trying to fix what you’ve done and an innocent Dalish woman gets caught in the crossfire, one of the people who whom you’re hoping to return themselves, and now she’s got a piece of the Veil stuck in her hand.

Great. Well. Time to try to fix this enormous mess and refuse to admit that if you go through with your ultimate goal, the whole world’s going to look like this.

And then you start to fall for this woman. Not only is she a firebrand of simple goodness and kindness, she’s quite kind to you. She reaches out to you for wisdom and advice and talks with you, not at you. When you reach back to her, she meets you in the middle and tries her very best to understand. And then she protects you with the flimsy, unstable shield that your own mistake s have branded her with. She protects you in this world that hates elves and mages and apostate elven mages even more.

Your friend is bound and corrupted and she runs off to the Exalted Plains to help them. She weeps at your side as you grieve. She gives you space and then when you come back, she welcomes you with gladness. She tells you if ever you must grieve again, she’d like to be there.

She kisses you.

And you clutch her into your arms, and then again, because you suddenly realize your entire being has been yearning to touch and be touched by her for so long. You’ve never experienced anything like this. It’s intoxicating and agony and fire and the very air you need to breathe.

You are tempted to run but… you’d be without her. And you ask her to just sit and talk and she obliges, happily. She enjoys you. This mortal creature who you’ve branded with doom; she enjoys you.

You then start to wonder: has she always been this way? Maybe the Mark’s done something to her? Maybe it’s done something to me too; maybe it’s why I can’t stay away from her. So you ask and she just “mm. No, I’m me.” And you’re so incandescent about this that you shock yourself.

You tell her you’ve not forgotten the kiss. And she smiles like the dawn rising over the mountains. And you try to leave. “It would be kinder in the long run.” But she bids you stay…

You can’t fit her inside your body. But you try. You keep your hands from clawing their way into her clothes and skin but your arms lock around her like they were made to do that, and only that. You want to protect her too. You want to leave it all. You want to be Solas and her to be a simple Dalish woman and to live in the quiet woods with her and dance under the stars.

You get to. At Halamshiral, you draw her into your arms and dance until you forget you have feet and until the music is long abandoned to the sounds of night.

She does something so incredibly stupid at the Well. You want to claw your face off because she’s agreeing to what you did. She’s signing away her freedom… but then she tells you “I’ll use this to help this world as best I can”. And you feel… so seen by a person who can’t possibly see…

You will tell her. You’ll tell her everything. But when you stand in Crestwood, in the ruins of everything you did to get here… you can’t. You panic and you lie in that true way you have so it isn’t a lie but it isn’t what you meant to say. She lets you remove her culture, erase herself from who the people have become. She’s like you now. And oh whatever gods there be, she’s so beautiful that you feel like you could stare into her eyes for eternity… but… what have you done?

You’ve taken from her something she didn’t truly want to give up. You’ve made her change because you wanted her to. You’ve enforced your will on someone you told, you loved them. You’re Solas… you’re not Mythal.

You will not do this to her.

So you do then what you can only conclude is right by her. You break her heart and you break your own and there is somehow a worse pain than anything you’ve suffered before. She’s right there. All you need do it extend a hand, whisper one word. And the awful part, you’re so in love with her. You can’t help but watch her steps and listen for her voice and…

You need to leave.

You do. And you get to work. Two years crawl by. And you have your ear out for her still. It’s all part of the plan you tell yourself but you just want to keep a tether there in some form and you know you do.

Seeing her again is like falling on a spear. Shes dying. You knew she would. You knew she’d come too, curious and determined as ever. But you didn’t expect to hear her scream in pain and collapse in front of you. You go to your knees with her. You… you have to kiss her. Just one more. And you save her… you take her arm.

She tells you your love will endure and you could howl in anguish. She still loves you?! After all this? After what you’ve done? You watch the Fade bleed from her body. You ache to gather her up and take her with you. She even asked to go with you. But you know what the Evanuris were in their determined goals… what you’ll be by the time you’re done. Let her remember you as Solas… the apostate mage with stories and paint under his nails, who loved her helplessly.

You will not allow her to become another Felassan.

Eight years pass and while you’re at work, deeply committed, restless in your plans… she isn’t gone from you. Your sleep betrays you and you find yourself watching her. You watch her call out and search for you. You watch yourself, a dream, meet her and touch her and your mind burns with the hunger for just the brush of her hand. You listen to her weep over choices she made that haunt her, and you’re unable to comfort her. You can feel her terror as nightmares assail her, and if you weren’t a wolf in this form, you’d scream. You feel mad when you wake, tortured and raw and you’d run to her… but then you redouble your abstinence. Like opening a vein, you let the urge to drop everything and go find your Dalish heart and put her in your ribs where she belongs and never let her out. The truest horror of it all is she knows you’re there in all this. She can see you. She can see you refusing her, over and over and over. Ignoring her nightmares of being Blighted, ripped apart by Terrors and Shades, staring while she mourns the fallen who she sent to their deaths.

You’re a monster.

But then it’s all going to happen. Finally. And you don’t even feel energized by it. You simply think of her. You write almost automatically, as if your hand has a mind of its own. You tell her everything you wanted to scream in her dreams. Everything you wanted to in Crestwood.

Varric dies. No. No. You kill Varric.

You use Rook’s blood to make them see him. They loved him. He loved them. It’s… so cruel.

You’re a monster.

You repeat that to yourself on the steps in Minrathous. You’re barely able to keep your feet, your ribs feel pulped from the dragon’s teeth. Your skin feels hot and wet under your armor. You’re bleeding, so much so that you can taste it in your breath. The Blight burns on your lips. Your eye is blurred over with blood salt and tears.

And out of the night a voice speaks up to you that steals every single ounce of focus from your exhausted mind. You stare at her. She’s coming closer. “I forgive you!” she cries, her face pleading that you listen. She’s unarmed. She knows you killed Varric and she knows you could kill her. She knows you might. You can see it in the way she moves, the way her hands open at her sides as she moves closer.

Felassan’s face swims in your mind.

Please don’t you want to sob. Don’t make me hurt you. I’m a monster; I told you I didn’t want you to see me like this. So you try to explain again. To find some purchase on your own logic as to why this is still something you should do. Something she should allow. You look away, and you almost sigh in relief. She’s too bright; your eyes aren’t worthy of the sight of her anyway. You’ve hurt that woman so many times. And she’s still speaking of forgiveness?! FOR YOU?!

Morrigan?

Mythal.

You almost fall to your knees in front of her spirit. You can’t tell what the feeling is. Despair? Fear? Worship? Maybe all of them. But she tells you your sins are hers too. She took you from your home, twisted you… broke you. And you feel something slide off of you that somehow doesn’t make you stand straighter. You’re sick again. You’re collapsing. You’re a ruined wall, the last piece of a derelict castle on a crumbling mountain, and you’re giving way.

“Banal nadas. Ar lath ma, Vhenan.”

Mythal said that she broke you. Your being admits it. You weep, bowed, humbled… but free. You didn’t know you were shackled. But now that the chains are off, you feel it now. The chafed wounds where they’ve been locked for centuries. The sudden lack of weight that leaves you trembling and weak in its absence. You don’t remember them not being there.

But you do remember when you were able to ignore them. You remember how the Dalish woman refused to allow bigotry and hatred stop her from saving the world. You remember how she ran herself ragged for people who didn’t even care if she lived. You remember how she called them innocent.

You decide, or you are finally able to decide, that you want and perhaps have always wanted, to be like her.

So you shed your blood, not that you aren’t bleeding enough already, to ensure you’re bound to the Veil. Your life is its life.

“I will go and seek atonement.” You look into her eyes, as long as you can stand it. You hope she’ll be proud of you for finally being the hero she believed you could be. She looks back… so very beautiful. But no. No you’re not allowed to even think about that marvelous, bright creature like that.

“But you do not have to go alone.”

The touch of her hands makes you want to collapse. One of metal and wood, one of flesh and bone. She gives them both to you. Dumbly, you look at them. You’re touching her. This divine, unearthly thing is smiling at you, speaking to you. Holding your bloody, murderous, betrayer’s hands in hers. Your’s tremble and bleed. Her’s do not.

But what did she say? You don’t have to- No. No, Vhenan. Into that place? Into that prison? To war with madness and agony for eternity? No. You can’t…

“Ar ghilas vir banal.” You feel your heart crack and shatter as you say it. You’ll have to walk away from her again. You’ll have to leave her again. You’ll have to be alone, sundered from even her dreams… it’s what you deserve. And she deserves to be free of you. Finally.

But she just… keeps smiling. Her grip on your hands tightens. With a little shake of her head and a fondness on her face that you can’t begin to even fathom, she sings to you.

“Tel banal ar ama. Vir shiral la ma sa. Bellanaris.”

She comes nearer. Nearer. You wonder what she’s doing and then you realize like a slap to the face that you’re being offered a kiss.

A kiss.

You don’t think. You don’t even try. Your body screams as you bend spine and ribs and shoulder down to her. You’re filthy and bloody. She’s pristine. Gorgeous. She’s everything you aren’t.

She pauses. It’s a breath’s pause, eyes searching yours. And somehow, you know what the question in her’s means. “Do you want this?”

It’s almost hilarious.

You don’t hesitate. For the first time, you don’t. You close your eyes and let the moment wash over you. Perhaps she’ll change her mind in a little while. But for this one slice of time… you’re going to let this one thing be entirely good.

Her lips are everything your longing has has been good enough to remind you. Soft. Gentle. But also this is… so unlike anything you’ve experienced, even with her. It’s not like even the first kiss in the Fade. It’s so terribly tender that your throat tightens and your eyes burn. She’s so very gentle with you.

So you’re gentle back. You turn the Blight on your lips as far from hers as you can. You don’t yank her against you and bury yourself in her as you’d like to. You rub your thumbs over her knuckles. You caress her cheek with your nose. And when she withdraws with an even more angelic smile on her face than before…

You have to smile too. It’s as if her lips have infected your own.

Rook and Morrigan smile at the two of you. You can almost feel it, like the glow of flame. Warmth. You’ve been so cold for so long. You thank Rook. They smile at you, eyes tender. And your heart smiles at them too as you step toward the Veil. Knowing. Grateful.

Standing alone for a moment feels like standing on the edge of a cliff. You almost lurch forward, considering the decision to leave her. To make her stay. But… no. You lack the strength to rip yourself away from her again. It would be cruel to reject her promise but… if it spared her…

Her hand weighs down on your shoulder. I’m here. Let’s go. Vhenan. You can feel the words, as if touch is enough for her to speak to you. Perhaps after sharing dreams for so long, it’s true. You dare not look at her. You might shove her away.

And then you’re passing into the Fade. And you’re not alone. And you feel her hope burst into a flame of unrepentant, inextinguishable joy. Joy because of you. Joy because you never have to be parted again. Joy that you finally, finally chose her after having chosen you so many times.

You could weep and you do, with how you know you’ve made her feel. But when your feet are upon solid ground again and she is surging toward you with a quiet cry of Vhenan… you catch her. You crush her to you and she laughs, sounding like the younger woman you abandoned, and she kisses you and you kiss her because you can’t bear to do anything else. And there’s no pulling away. Even as your knees give out and your body begins to betray the amount of damage you’ve suffered, you hold each other. Her tears mix with your own and your blood and she’s all you know and all you care about. She’s real and she’s here and she is with you.

Your mind stumbles over a cluster of words that reorganize into something coherent and you almost feel disgusted at them. But then… it’s true. You know it is. If it meant her, if it meant being cradled to her even in a prison made of regret and failure and pain… safe and loved and whole, in a terrible place unmade simply because of the person hiding you in the hollow of her body… It was all worth it.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

okay i have THOUGHTS about this line

he didn’t have to say that to make his plan work. i mean yeah, being nice to the player definitely earns their favor and future assistance, but he could have just as easily gone the route of gaslighting them into feeling bad and like they caused the problem, eliciting a more shame-based and desperate and less uplifting and righteous kind of reliance. like if volo really hated the player, and was truly cruel, that’s what he would have done. the player would have still gotten the chain and felt indebted to him for the plate hunt, but they also would be miserable and feel lonely and hurt and confused. but volo doesn’t do that, he grounds the player and validates their feelings, which were hurt by the cruel townspeople more than the event volo caused to prompt that cruelty. like truly, it’s only volo’s fault that the player gets banished through the most like simple calculated logic—yes, if he hadn’t caused the rift, they wouldn’t have been banished, or brought here at all. but kamado CHOSE to banish them based on his own paranoia and disdain for outsiders, and the others enabled it by choice. volo didn’t make that happen, just how he didn’t make or even want arceus to get the player involved in the first place.

i don’t think volo hates the player, personally, at all. or at least, i think that he hates them and cares for them just as much as he hates and cares for himself. i know this isn’t groundbreaking volo theorizing material, but he’s absolutely projecting his disdain for society based on his vague past experiences here. he dislikes the outsider because his plan demands it, but he dislikes everyone else because he personally thinks they’re terrible. it’s kinda neat how he “fake” compliments the player’s loyalty to him as a merchant so often, bc i think loyalty is something he actually takes very seriously. and he probably saw how loyal the player was to the galaxy team, and then the way they kicked them out, and was genuinely pissed and hurt on the player’s behalf.

the things he says at the end of the game are said in extreme distress and defeat, and while they are not NOT reflective of his character and motives, i’m shocked by how many pokemon fans regard volo like he’s a nihilistic and amoral sociopath. passion and compassion are behind nearly everything volo does, for better or for worse. they’re behind moments like this, and moments like his ranting at spear pillar. he is a person who constantly grapples to align his personal moral code and lofty ideals, which live in this weird space between the manmade and divine, with the flawed reality of existence. his entire mentality is full of contradictions, because he is a man who thinks he should be god, but in reality could never be a good god, because he is still very much a man. it’s the emotion, idealism, and intellectual curiosity of humanity that drive him, not the impartiality, absolutism, and complacency of an omnipotent all-knowing deity.

so like, with this line. he specifically mentions that the galaxy team has treated the player poorly. not that the galaxy team’s choice was illogical, not that the player just needs to try harder to get them to accept him. he is emphatically rejecting the premise that the player did anything to deserve blame, even though he has no intention to actually explain why this really happened or volunteer himself to take the blame. because ultimately, volo is not the person to blame for the galaxy team’s cruelty, and he knows it. and he also knows that it’s the cruelty that has hurt the player, more than the sky problem itself, because he has been treated like an outsider too. and he can’t DO anything about that. even if he told the truth, the damage has already been done. the player knows how their supposed allies would react in this situation, regardless of the logic or truth. and volo can’t fix that. he does not believe he can make people kinder or the world a better place, which is exactly why he wants so badly to remake it. for himself, bc clearly he’s been through some shit too, for people like the outsider, and for anyone else whose loyalty and dedication have been met with rejection and apathy. which is so deeply tragic and ironic, because by being the only person to care for the player in this moment, he is making the world a better place for them.

volo is, at his core, a hypocrite. he’s like if you put the ingredients for a hero into a blender, but accidentally used the “tragic hypocrite” setting so he came out a janky villain instead. to volo, concepts like loyalty and self-righteousness are driving forces, much moreso than simple black and white morality or consequentialism. this makes him a hypocrite because he believes a perfect world is possible as long as his moral code is strictly followed, and his evil plan is to prove it. but in his efforts to do so, he proves over and over again that a perfect world isn’t possible, and certainly would not be possible under his control.

like, okay—if someone suggested that the means of pain and suffering in the world justified the ends (the world), volo would disagree and claim that arceus is responsible for the pain and suffering, and therefore does not deserve the power to create/rule worlds. but then, following that very same logic, if volo needed to get a random person banished and betrayed in order to create his better world, then those means wouldn’t justify his ends either. which is WHY we see him subconsciously draw a line here, between the things he’s not responsible for (other people being cruel, arceus transporting the player) and the things he is directly responsible for (the way he treats the player in these circumstances, either with derision or support). and wouldn’t you know, in this instance where it truly is up to him what the means are to his ends, he chooses kindness where he could have been cruel. because while arceus sending the hero and the town banishing them weren’t really Volo’s means to Volo’s ends, this conversation sure as hell could be. And he doesn’t want his better world built on a foundation of suffering and pain.

by saying this one line and treating the player as he does here, i think volo accidentally exposes something deeply true and good about himself. this man could say “i’m a villain and i don’t care about the player” and fully believe it, but at the same time demonstrably possess the morals and compassion of a hero, which he uses to actively care for the player. he is a delusional hypocrite, but he’s definitely not heartless. and i just think that’s neat.

alternatively, volo is completely heartless, knows that people are endeared to people who want to protect them, and methodically uses that knowledge here for his convenience. that very well could have been the intention, and it makes sense too—but i personally enjoy entertaining the notion of depth where i see potential for it. so yeah.

[iww-gnv]

Writers employed by “Sesame Street” producer Sesame Workshop have voted unanimously to support a strike authorization vote from the Writers Guild of America as the April 19 expiration of the current contract approaches. The 35 writers represented by the union have been in negotiations with the production company behind “Sesame Street” and other children’s programs since February. If the sides can’t reach a deal by April 19, picketing will begin outside Sesame Workshop’s Manhattan headquarters on April 24, the WGA said Tuesday. “We are committed to working with Sesame Workshop to codify a fair contract for writers that embodies these values, and which allows the Workshop to continue to attract top-level talent who can artfully create stories that successfully balance entertainment, playfulness, and joy with education and enrichment,” the union’s Sesame Workshop negotiating committee said in a statement. “Our demands would be extremely meaningful for the affected writers, particularly those in animation who are currently being excluded from basic union benefits and protections like pension and healthcare. We hope for a speedy and amicable resolution to these negotiations so that we can continue to do the work of helping the next generation grow smarter, stronger and kinder.” “Our writers are integral members of our creative team, and we are engaged in good faith negotiations with the WGA. We’re still hopeful that we’ll come to an agreement in advance of the expiration,” the company said in a statement. Sesame Workshop is a nonprofit organization, which means it’s in an unusual position of facing a strike threat. WGA East president Lisa Takeuchi Cullen acknowledged the awkwardness of the situation. “No one wants to see a picket line on Sesame Street,” said Takeuchi Cullen. “Millions of parents and families around the world are going to have a lot of questions. They might ask why the bosses at Sesame Workshop are ignoring their company’s own messages of kindness and fairness.”

[giuliettagaltieri]

Breath of Spring

Pairing: Young!Gojō x Young!Reader

Chapter Synopsis: Emotional constipation was Gojō Satoru's congenital defect.

Warning: angst, unrequited love, suggested misogyny, arranged marriage, age gap

Word Count: 1060

1 of 9

Gojō Satoru has known you even before you knew how to walk.  He attended your naming day, he was already five years old then.  The memory is vague and blurred but he was certain of the strong feeling of dislike he had for you.  How is it that everybody was congratulating him, telling him that he is so lucky to be betrothed to you.  The well anticipated daughter of your family, one long awaited after having birthed with boys alone for nearly a decade.  But that does not have anything to do with him.  All you did was drool and suckle on your tiny fingers.

There was nothing particularly special about you, he comes to realize after you attended his 12th birthday.  It was a day he received many gifts, the wrapped packages piled so neatly in the corner by the handmaidens of the estate house.  He is not to touch any of them, lest some were sent by malevolent individuals who seek to bring harm to him and his family.  Not that he can’t see cursed material from a mile away but the elders of his house insisted.  He cannot complain either, it saved him from wearing fake smiles and throwing away forced gratitude.

It was why he was upset that his annual hunt had to come to a pause just so you could hand him your gift.  He eyed you with his much aggravation.  You are never without your nannies and personal guards, being sheltered from the world like a fragile little flower.  You were nearly half his age but you already act like an adult.  Like you were better than him.  It was as if your back had a rod with how straight it always appears to be, your chin always tilted upwards, and eyeing everyone as beneath you, how haughty.  It brought him great satisfaction to see you shy away from him though, your eyes always finding your dainty shoes whenever he is nearby.

Your handmaiden had to usher you forward so you would have the courage to hand him your gift.  The elders looked at his actions carefully, almost awaiting him to make a mistake just to have something to criticize him over.  He mutters a small “thanks”. And you nod at him and retreat back to the arms of your mother who was watching you with much fondness.

As he previously thought, you’re nothing different.  Just another puppet.

Gojō wasn’t in the mood for hunting afterwards.  Simply kicking rocks by the pond as his servitor accompanied him, standing a few meters behind him, still like a statue.

“The young master appears to be upset.”  The servitor says calmly, his voice even and unprovocative.  But young Gojō Satoru whips at him with so much fervor that the servitor nearly breaks into a smile.

“Upset?  For what reason?”  He scowls as he steps closer to the tall man.  He looks about ready to fight anything that moves, his face contorted to a wild scowl.  “Because of her?  That spoiled shrimp?  You think that pipsqueak is relevant enough to upset me?”

The servitor clears his throat to hide the smile as he closes his eyes.  “Perhaps the young master should be kinder to the young lady.” 

Gojō scoffs and looks at the tiny gift that he had in his clutches, never letting go of it ever since you handed it to him.  “Kinder?  She has done nothing but be a nuisance!”  In a fit of anger, he throws the carefully wrapped item to the ground.  A loud shatter of ceramics startles him, and the servitor flinches upon hearing the sound.  They both stare at the still wrapped gift, its shape no longer preserved and it looks nothing more than a heap of oddly shaped objects covered with the intricate fabric.

“Oh my.”  His servitor sighs, disappointed.  “What a shame, the lady was very excited to know how you liked her gift.”

Upon hearing this, Gojō raises his defenses, his teeth gritting as his cheeks flushed.  “You don’t have to do her biddings!”  Yet despite the outburst, the little boy’s eyes cannot leave the heap of your broken gift on the ground.  They have many talented craftsmen in the estate, it can be fixed, he is certain of it.  But then again, why does he need it fixed?  You’re insignificant, your gift is no different.

Or so he tries to convince himself.

His mood has not been better for the next few days.  He was cranky, snapping at anyone who looked his way for too long.  His father, ever so perceptive, asked young Satoru’s servitor about his dramatic, or at least worse than usual, turn of emotions. 

A day later, Satoru finds another wrapped gift atop his nightstand the moment he opens his eyes.  It was familiar, the shape of it.  When he reached for it, the weight of it was something his hand had known.  A small tag was attached and he read it, his still pouting lips moving as he read the words one by one.

To Gojō-sama.  Wishing you a fine day.

He knew the curve of your handwriting too well.  The frown in his brows deepened and deepened as he pulled the ribbon.  And the wrapping came undone and the ceramics figure of him and you, hands intertwined, stared back at him.

It was beautiful, smooth, and greatly detailed.  Even the clothes were made of the finest material.

But it was useless.  It was good to look at but there was no purpose to it. 

A knock in the door startles him, and he nearly drops the figure but he manages to grab hold of your foot, well the sculpture, he did not expect the dress to flip, showing him your bloomers.

Gojō twists the doll right-side up and pulls your dress down until it covers your ankles.  His face is bright red and warm.  It was simply too much for young Satoru.

“Young master, is everything alright?”  The door slid open a fraction but Gojō yelled for them to close it at once!

“Yes!  Everything is alright.”  His face was still aflamed as he clutched the dress tightly around your tiny body.

By the next day, you receive a bouquet of blue roses littered with baby’s breath accompanied by a poorly scribbled note of ‘Thanks’ from the young master of the Gojō estate.

Where the Blue Roses Grow

[huntersrequiem-if]

Hunter's Requiem

demo [HERE] (18/12/2024)| forum [tba]

dark fantasy, horror (?), romance

CW: violence, gore

You are a minor deity of the Hunt, known by your followers as The Hunter, used by the other Higher Beings as The Hound. The All-Seeing Sun had given you countless tasks over your existence.

Yet one day, while on a mission sent out by him, you were summoned and judged for treason. The punishment left you mangled; your magic ripped off.

Cast away, you went into a deep sleep to recover.

After centuries you awoke to find your name spoken in whispers in the darkest nights. The Traitor. The world has changed, yet you still have true believers who await your awakening.

Will you be successful in your revenge? Will you be able to topple the gods or will you try to live in peace?

Features:

Play as male, female, nonbinary.

Your choices will affect the fate of your followers.

Befriend, romance or even antagonize a wide cast of characters.

Have a loyal shadowy companion by your side.

Astaroth [M]

"And to think I hated you. Now I can’t imagine living a single day without you.”

Your “other half”, attached to your psyche. He is content to stay in the backseat and offer comments. Tall and lean with gray skin. His face is sharp and angular, eyes with black sclera and white iris. Long black straight hair parted only by his antlers. His hands are black, tipped with long claws. The gradient loses color the closer it gets to his elbow. When he grins at you, you see beast-like teeth glinting in the light.

The Beloved Moon [F]

"That was the worst mistake I ever made. Please, I will do anything you want for you to forgive me.”

Moon has a curious interest in you. Since the moment she saw you, she had sought any chance to talk with you.

A short woman with deep blue skin and freckles that shine like stars. Her skin is shifting between deep blue and purple. She has a round face with full lips and a button nose. Round eyes with black sclera and bright blue iris stare at you with curiosity. Her long curly hair is white with pale blue streaks. Massive white feathered wings cover her back, sometimes used to cover her body like a cloak. Her smile might be gentle but the sharp fangs showed less so.

The Eternal Night [NB]

“I have turned a blind eye to the world far too long. I will no longer allow anything to happen to you.”

The Eternal Night is a distant person. Even more towards the other gods, yet for you they show a kinder side. They are tall and slender. Their sharp face is softened by full lips and expressive eyes. They have dark grey skin paired with stark white hair, that reaches their chin. The wavy strands frame their face nicely. Their eyes-- black sclera with crimson iris—are often covered by their mask. Massive black wings sprout from their back, and then the light catches the feathers right they look more blue than dark.

Santana [F/M]

"Why is it that every time I look at you I feel that I have known you for lifetimes? Why does my soul yearn for you?"

A priest you met in your past, a rather interesting person with a stubborn brand of kindness.

Tawny skin sprinkled with freckles. Golden hair is kept in a braid, far away from their face, yet a few strands escape and frame their heart-shaped face. Expressive eyes look at you, their blue gaze shining brightly.

They stand at an average height, donning the white and golden robes of the priests of Sun. Over that, they wear a chainmail.

You thought you lost them to the sands of time.

??? [F/M]

“Do you have any idea how long I prayed to see you, to hear your voice?”

Every day, they're slipping farther, their grip on the edge of the chasm growing fragile. Can you drag them back or will you shove them off?

[v3nusxsky]

DarkDomReader x SubLarussa where reader sees Morticia/Marilyn getting touchy with Larissa and they stop her, taking Larissa home and facing into oblivion to remind her who she belongs to?

Promts 27,37,41??

Hers to keep 18+

*Authors note~ outstanding uni work✨but✨ fics for advent need to breathe their first breaths. And in the words of Rio vidial “I’ve missed you”*

Trigger warnings ~ dark ish? Reader, sub Larissa, jealousyyyy, reader has a rough past hints to abuse and neglect as a child foster care etc, begging, breeding kink, daddy kink, oral sex (Larissa receiving), degrading with a dash of humiliation, very light pet kink (Larissa literally gets called kitten and that’s it), slightly toxic r?, strap on sex (Larissa receiving), oral stap (r receiving), praise/reasurance, aftercare

Prompt ~ see ask^^^

@dingdongthetail and @pebbleswritessometimes for pre reading some parts

To say you’d healed from the past was a lie, your scars remain as jagged and raw as they did in the beginning. Invisible to everyone else but you. Perhaps that’s why Larissa doesn’t seem to notice your clear discomfort around Marilyn. Now you are no fool, you know Larissa has been hurt before, her own father being the first to show her a cruel hands touch. But you knew your girlfriend had her aunt to fall back on. At least one person in her corner, she was wanted. And although you knew she deserved all the love in the world, the jealousy sat simmering underneath the layers and layers of masks you put on. Truthfully, you admire your lover, she’s so strong, kind hearted and intelligent. Everything you wanted to be but got told you would never be. The past, your past, would define you for the rest of your life. She was wanted, in Nevermore, by you and the students and her aunt.

You however were not. Your whole life was spent fighting for love and acceptance. Your own mother was disappointed the day you were born. Nothing but a reminder of your father, who mind you left as soon as he found out you were created. Disappointment. Right from the start. And she made sure to remind you ever since you could remember that it’s all you’d ever be. Growing up in a home with the absence of maternal love, and the basic necessities to survive made life more complicated for you. Yet you fail to see what Larissa sees. She sees you for who you are, your heart, mind and soul. The fact you are still fighting is a true testimony to your character. You have no one to thank but yourself for getting here. A lovely girlfriend, an education, a roof over your head and food on the table. Most importantly finally experiencing love. And yet you refuse to accept that you did that. You made it. All that noise from your long, onyx covered, twisted forest of a past are wrong. You made it.

You find it hard to understand why Larissa would choose you. All your life you’ve never been good enough, there’s always someone better, prettier, nicer, kinder and well rounded than you. And you know that. You’ve experienced and accepted that. Perhaps that is why jealousy cripples you. Terrified of losing the only good thing in your life. Her. The same gorgeous goddess who Marilyn is currently monopolising all her attention. Sure, it’s a work function so it’s completely normal for the principal to be the one everyone wants to see. You know that. Understand that even. But the irrational part of you wants to keep your golden girl to yourself. Safe. Yours. Yet you can’t. So you sit here nursing your first and only drink on the night, eyes stalking her every movement. Just incase.

You and Larissa talk in great depth about your feelings and how to best help you heal and grow while maintaining a healthy relationship for you both. Larissa loves how protective you are of her. It makes her feel safe and wanted but she wishes you didn’t feel so inferior to everyone. So much so she spends extra time to build you up, to reassure you of her feelings for you. And that works most of the time. Apart from tonight.

The second you catch the ginger teachers pale hand on Larissa’s shoulder somethings snaps inside your messy mind. The fact Larissa didn’t instantly remove herself for the situation only further fuelling your irrational fears. Larissa was comfortable. This other woman touching what you considered to be your person. Your lover. Yet you remain rooted to the spot, taking in every single second of the interaction on high alert. You watched the way Marilyn trailed her hands down your lovers arm as she laughed at something Larissa said. You couldn’t help but notice how her eyes lingered seconds too long when Larissa was sipping her wine, licking her lips or simply shifting her weight from one leg to the other. Marilyn was practically undressing her despite the fact you were right here. And that’s what caused you to stride over to Larissa with an unmatched bout of jealousy and fury. The two emotions crashing around you like tidal waves in a storm.

You immediately made sure to let your arms wrap around your lover. Obviously staking your claim to the other woman. “Who’s your friend darling?” You couldn’t help but borderline snarl the word friend, eyes flicking up to Marilyn’s. “Marilyn is teaching bounty for me this year my love. She’s just here to get to know the staff before she starts in the new school year” her words fell on deaf ears. “Well she’s certainly getting to know you very well” you quipped before completely ignoring the red head, “Larissa I feel rather unwell, I’ll head back to OUR room” you mumbled spinning the blonde in your arms to join your lips together. “Have a nice evening Marie” was all you offered before detangling yourself from Larissa, “don’t be too long baby.”

You knew it wouldn’t be long before Larissa made her way to you. You paced your shared bedroom trying to clear your head. You know Larissa’s yours. It’s clear. But the idea of someone taking something so precious from you just sends you into a blind rage of jealousy. Losing Larissa would kill you. And to Marilyn? No way in hell would you allow that to happen. Larissa deserves the world and Marilyn isn’t that.

“Darling?” Her voice guides you out of your own irrational thoughts with a practiced ease. “You remember me then?” You muttered taking in her stunning appearance once again that night. Suddenly what you need dawns on you. Her. “Sweetheart? You know I’m yours right? I was simply being friendly darling.” Friendly. “Marilyn sure looked like she wanted to be friendly with you when her hands were all over you.” The words hit Larissa like a wave of realisation. “I- my darling I only want you. Let me prove it to you?” Her whispered words echoed around your mind for a few seconds. Well what an offer that was. How could you refuse?

“Come be a good kitten and prove it then. Kneel and crawl to me” you demanded loving how her eyes darkened ever so slightly at the demand although her cheeks blushed a beautiful crimson colour. Seeing the principal bend to your will, on all fours crawling towards you with embarrassment clouding her features just set you off and when she held eye contact with you you couldn’t help but immediately free the faux cock you’d been packing all night. “Show daddy this is the only dick you need darling. Show me how much you want me.”

On instinct Larissa immediately took the head of your strap between her ruby lips, tongue swirling around the head with a practiced ease. Your hands immediately falling to her perfect up do. Pulling strands of hair as you forced yourself further down her throat until she released little gags of protests. “Dirty girl, you’re so good at this. Sweet little mouth just made to take me hmm” you mewled as the base of the strap rubbed against your clit with just the right amount of pressure. “Just imagine what Marilyn would think about seeing you on your knees for me like a common whore? The way you cry so prettily for daddy as I use your sweet mouth? Such a slut for me aren’t you baby?” To her credit, she tried to reassure that she is yours but it’s rather hard to do with your brutal thrusts and a mouthful of dick.

The moment you pulled out, Larissa greedily sucked in breaths of air. A slither of spit being the only connection between her and your cock. Doe eyes, on her knees, lipstick smeared and hair an absolute state, Larissa couldn’t look more beautiful if she tried. “Get on the bed and be ready for me slut” you practically grunted to the principal. Something about Larissa lying there completely bare was stunning. It didn’t take you long to bunch her dress up to her hips and rip the lace off her body finally exposing her soaked core to you. “Daddy” she whined feeling the intensity of your gaze. A simple plea that would’ve normally been enough to have you worshiping her like your own personal goddess. “Please what? Shall I go get Marilyn for you? Or shall i remind you that only I get to taste this pretty pussy.”

The moment you finally allow yourself to taste her is heavenly. Her little gasp of need and the way she practically melts on your tongue is divine. It doesn’t take you long to work her to the edge. Larissa loves to suck you off. It’s embarrassing and slightly humiliating to think of herself in such a position but god does she love it. The weight of you on her tongue, the way you lose control and thrust deeper and the way you eat her out after like a starved animal never fails. “Please daddy” she whimpers out causing you to scrape your teeth across her adorably swollen clit before pulling away from her cunt.

Her whimpers of disappointment as she takes in the sight of your lower face drenched in her slick only adds to her growing need. “Darling I-“ you cut off her pathetically needy words by taking a swipe of her slit with your index finger, “open slut” is all you offer before thrusting your finger into her awaiting mouth. The happy mewl she lets loose as her tongue swirls around your finger, tasting herself on you. “Please” Larissa sobs as you pull your finger back, “I just want you to fuck me daddy. Please! I’m yours. Only yours just please, please fuck me.”

“Nothing more than a desperate whore aren’t you? Imagine what everyone would say if they knew you begged for my cock like a bitch in heat? The all put together Larissa Weems is nothing but a desperate slut for me. No one else can fuck you the way I can. No one knows that you love to be ass up, face down as I pound your cunt” you teased happily manhandling the woman to be in the exact position you know she craves. “Fucking leaking all over the sheets. Good thing we both know that only I can give you what you need. Your mine aren’t you?” You let the head of the faux dick rub along her slit occasionally bumping her clit. The moment your hand roughly connects with the soft globe of her ass she immediately moans. “Filthy girl, tell me whose you are” you grunted fighting the urge to bury yourself in her awaiting core.

“Daddy’s! Yours just please fuck-“ she whimpered feeling the burn and stretch in some areas as you sunk into her pussy effortlessly. "You would look so good with my children baby” you grunted settling into a lethal pace, your fingers were gripping her hips so tightly there was a hundred percent guarantee of bruises remaining for days. Not that either of you minded. “Want daddy to finally breed her girl? Show everyone you’re mine by carrying my baby? Hmm? I’d fill you up so good darling every night until you finally grow round with our baby like a good little breeding bitch.”

The brutal sounds of skin slapping into one another accompanied by the most sinful sounds clawing their way from her throat was the only encouragement you needed. “Bet my dirty girl would love that. God baby you feel so good around me. This pretty pussy is just made to take me. God you take me so well” you granted with the force of your thrusts bringing a hand to her hair to pull her back to your chest. “Daddy oh fuck” she mewled, the change of position caused your dick to reach deeper than before, “please” she whined feeling the coil in her stomach tightening once more.

“Cum for me baby, show me how good only I can make you feel” you plead with her while letting her hair go and moving your hand to find her sensitive bundle of nerves to give her that last push over the edge. The way she cums for you, the noises she makes as you watch her ride each and every wave you provide is enough to send you hurtling over the edge as well. Slowing your thrusts down to drag out every inch of pleasure for you both as the woman underneath you is clearly spent. Her voice is hoarse from all the noise she made as she took everything you offered on a plate. With an ease only she could provide. Only Larissa could do this for you. To calm your irrational jealousy in the best ways. “mm stay” you heard her mumble into the pillows as her hand reached back for you. And you knew she craved the connection as much as you do. “I’m yours. I’m here baby” you whisper pressing sweet kisses onto her sweat covered neck.

Only when she was ready did you get the wet rag to clean her glistening folds gently murmuring praises to the overly sensitive woman. The switch from insanely jealous to caring and loving was instant for you. This woman was yours. But you also care for everything that’s yours so deeply that Larissa would get only the best aftercare from you. Your now quiet, stated mind allowing you to devote your full attention to the principal. You would die for this woman and she would die for you too. “Baby? what can I do for you?” Your whispered words caused her to smile slightly allowing you to adjust her to be lying comfortably on the bed. “Come here sweetheart, I just want to feel you” she murmured opening her arms for you to settle on her bare chest, her heart beating for you only being all could hear. Together as one the whole night seemed to blur together as you both drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

Word count~ 2372

[actuallysaiyan]

We Can Do Whatever You Want To Do(Ishida Uryu x Fem!Reader)

warnings: smut, handjob, talk about virginity, kissing, alcohol, semi-public sex, Uryu and Reader are in University word count: 1.3k pairings: Uryu Ishida x Fem!Reader summary: you and Uryu are in the same classes in university and you thought at first his arrogance and attitude pissed you off, but it turns you on. taglist: @beneathstarryskies. @seireiteihellbutterfly @misty-angerose. @yeowangies a/n: My first time writing Uryu, so I hope it's good <3

You met him when you were in your first year of university. Whispers of his academic excellence and many scholarships due to his achievements follow him around, though he doesn’t show any kind of real reaction to it. You found yourself so intrigued by Uryu.

After a few months of being in the same classes as him and trying to get to know him, you find out that he tends to keep to himself. And  Uryu doesn’t really bother to make too many friends. You’ve noticed some people coming to visit him from time to time, but the relationships he has with them seem deep rooted in something you can’t quite understand.

Even as time continues on, you find yourself way too curious about him. What kind of thing does he  do in his spare time? What kind of interests does he have outside of science and medicine? Did he have a love interest? Has he ever had a girlfriend?

Everything comes to a head when you and Uryu are at the same party. He’s keeping to himself in the corner, talking a little bit to a few people here and there that are in the same class as both of you. You take a drink from your beer and you head over to him.

“Hmm?” he barely acknowledges you, which makes you even more turned on.

“You’re Ishida-san, correct?” you ask him, your stomach doing flips.

He smirks at you, “Yes. Good to know you can recognize your classmates' names.”

That comment has your blood  boiling. How could he say something so rude to you like this? You roll your eyes and finish off your beer. Despite the way he acts, he holds himself with an air of someone who knows it all. Something about this suggests he’s not too lucky in the love and intimacy department. Meaning….he’s probably a virgin despite being in his early twenties.

The next time you meet up with him, it’s at the end of your class for the day. You make your way over to him, tapping him on the shoulder. He turns around, towering over you and sports that same smirk as he always does.

“Yes? What is it?”

His tone is just driving you insane, “I was going to ask you to help explain something to me, but honestly if you just want to act like a self-centered jerk,, nevermind.”

Students are walking past you and him, making it seem like there’s just no care in the world for something like this. It’s like you and him aren’t even a part of this student body right now. There’s this tension that grows around the two of you. He takes your hand and pulls you just a little closer. Your heart flutters and your stomach does a flip. Why does he keep making you feel like this? He’s just an asshole classmate.

“Listen, if you really want my help, I’ll help. Just ask nicely.” His tone is authoritative and it makes you want to slap him.

“F-fine…can you help me with today’s lecture?”

He smirks again, “Of course. It was rather easy.”

The urge to push him off you and to just give up on your plan was strong. Yet you followed him into an empty classroom. He sits at the teacher’s desk, opening up his notebook. You close the door and without him noticing, you lock it as well.

Innocently as you can, you make your way up to him. When he looks at you, you flutter your eyelashes flirtatiously. He falters for  a moment,  freezing completely. He’s wondering why you’ve changed your attitude towards him completely, but he finds it endearing that you’re trying to be kinder to him.

What you don’t realize is that you’ve been invading his every thought since that night at the party. He loves the way you take his attitude with a grain of salt. He keeps up these walls for a reason, though he’s ready to tear  down some of his walls to show you his real self.

Suddenly, you’re backing him into the corner. His eyes widen beneath his glasses, his cheeks reddening at the way you’re so close to him. Your actions are so bold and brazen..

“Uryu,” you purr softly in his ear. “You’re a virgin aren’t you?”

His heart skips a beat, “H-huh?”

You laugh, “I know you heard me. Answer the damn question.”

His mouth gets dry as his brain short-circuits. Uryu thought he had really hidden that aspect of his life so well. How could you tell just by being in class with him and the few interactions here and there that he was a virgin? How were you so clever?

He’s about to answer when your lips come crashing down onto his. Your hand drags down his chest to his waist, then down below his belt. You squeeze softly the growing bulge. He moans against your lips. Slowly, you begin palming him through his jeans until he’s rock hard.

“Let me have a little fun, hm? I bet you’ve never even had a handjob before!”

Your words sting and hit him right in the heart. .It was true, he was a virgin and he had never  even kissed before. You were taking a lot of his firsts. He can barely believe his own eyes when you unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. His cock is throbbing and twitching. There’s a precum stain on his underwear now.

“Awhh look at that, you have to be  a virgin.” You tease him as you pull down his underwear.

His cock slaps against his lower abdomen as you release it from the cotton confines of his briefs. The thick precum smears against his button-up shirt. You smirk when you gently graze his cock with just your fingertips and he lets out a whimper.

“Oh you’re gonna blow your load so fast, aren’t you?” You taunt him.

He shakes his head, “N-no. Shut up!”

You wrap your fingers around the throbbing length. He’s shuddering as you begin to stroke him. You make sure to go slow. You aren’t convinced that he won’t just pop within seconds. 

“Look at you, trembling and shaking. What a pathetic little virgin you are,”

Your words are turning him on more than he’d like to admit. It’s making him angrier but also his cock keeps throbbing every time you call him a virgin. He’d love to lose his virginity, but he’s so wrapped up in his studies and academic career that he forgets to make meaningful relationships. He just thought he would end up having to marry someone first to lose his virginity.

“Shut up,” he spits at you. “At least—ahhh fuck— ‘least I’m not failing.”

You squeeze his cock a little harder, “I’m not failing. You really think I’m failing? Let me tell you something,”

You lean in closer, and you start to stroke him faster. Your other hand comes down to massage his balls and he knows he’s done for now. His eyes roll back in his head and his knees begin to buckle. It’s all too much.

“The only reason I asked for your help today was because I wanted to jerk off your cock. You got that?”

He can’t even reply. You’ve rendered him into a blubbering and whimpering mess. His glasses are all fogged up that he can barely make out the blur that’s your fist stroking his cock. You tug on his balls ever so gently and that’s all it takes for him to fall off the edge.

“Fuck! Fuck I—I’m cumming!”

His hips begin to buck up into your hand, spurts of thick cum beginning to coat your fist and the bottom of your shirt. You smirk as you help him through his high. Then you slow down your pace, but never stopping it.

“Listen to me,” you begin. “If you wanna fuck this pussy, you’re going to have to be a lot nicer to me. Got it?”

He nods his head, “Yes, yes…I’ll be nicer.”

And that’s how you ended up with Uryu’s balls in the palm of your hand.

[notmeowse]

Curious to know why you wanted the veil to come down? I personally would’ve liked the option because it sets the world to how it was meant to be, BUT came to the understanding (idk if understanding is the right word but that’s what I’m using here lol) that because it would bunk up everything for everyone in the world currently, it was kinder/safer for everyone currently alive to leave it in place. After all it’s all anyone has known and not knowing the result of tearing it down was too big a risk. To let people keep living their lives instead of essentially turning back the clock was the safer option which is why I’m actually not super upset about not having “tear it down” as an option. It would’ve been nice to have it. In fact that’s probably the route I would’ve taken had it been available, but I can understand why the team and Rook don’t see it that way.

I think if we look at it from a developer standpoint it does look like them wanting to keep the status quo, but if you look at it from an in-world standpoint of “the world as it is now had been in place for thousands of years and it’s all anyone knows. It’s too risky/scary to tear it down just because you (Solas) can’t move on from your regrets that led to its creation in the first place” makes sense to me. Like a “you made your bed, it’s time to finally lie in it” kind of way. If they do make a DA5 (doubtful since it seemed like this game was meant to tie up or throw out loose ends) maybe it will be about finding ways to tear it down that wouldn’t idk…risk also messing up the world people currently reside in

Also question, because I mighta missed it, but if the veil is torn down completely would that not release the blight in its entirety? I thought that was also why they couldn’t take it down. I know Solas said he “had a plan” but was that a plan to not let the blight out if he took the veil down? I think that because that was my understanding of the blight that’s also why I wasn’t as pressed about not getting a tear down option, but now I just can’t seem to remember if that was the case with the blight or not

Hello and thank you for this ask! I so appreciate you leaving this for me so I can iron out my thoughts, because in many ways, the ending really did not go the way I thought it would. Spoilers/novel-length response under the cut!

After all, it was foreshadowed multiple times in the previous games. The biggest foreshadowing was Sandal's prophecy back in DA2, which was clearly the first draft of the events of this game:

One day the magic will come back - all of it. Everyone will be just like they were.

The "everyone" in this scenario could very well have meant the dwarves, but it also could have meant everyone. Elves, spirits, dwarves, everyone that lost something from the Veil going up. That was supposed to be what was coming. Every tear in the veil, every claim that it was weakening or failing in any way, served as (I thought) foreshadowing to it coming down.

And the series gives us very valid reasons for it to do so.

The main reason the Veil should have come down, for me, was to save the spirits. They're essentially trapped in the Fade, pressing against the Veil and constantly twisting themselves into the wrong shapes to be able to get to the waking world because they do not understand why they aren't part of it. Yes, it is kinder and safer for everyone in the waking world to not disrupt it by letting the world bring itself back together -- but what about the spirits? The ending, in its current state, disregards them completely. As if we haven't spent the last 3 games building them up as people. Not just that, but as the other people (besides elves) that Solas wronged by throwing up the Veil.

The games have had multiple instances of (for lack of a better word) humanizing spirits for us, by giving us characters like Justice and Cole, the All New, Faded For Her spirit, and now the demon Spite. They're naturally drawn to the waking world, to people, to strong emotion. The Veil acts as a barrier for them to truly experience the world, and when forced through it, they tend to become demons. But we are very much meant to see those characters as people, and Solas's entire argument in Inquisition was that they suffered from the Veil, too -- and no one else alive in Thedas seemed to care. Now that he's gone, that's actually the case.

In Trespasser, he was originally tearing down the veil for the spirits, not just the elves, and ended up killing Mythal to be able to have the power to do so. Veilguard wants to pretend it was for her, all along, despite the fact that he quite literally snuffed out one of the last shreds of her existence in the previous game in the name of helping the spirits and the elvhen.

But of course, we learn that the Veil doesn't just contain the Evanuris in this game, right? It also contains the rest of the blight! And shortly after we reach this revelation (depending on when you watched all of the memories) we discover that the very first Tranquil beings in Thedas were the titans (sundered from their spirit + achievement for the memory is quite literally called Tranquility), and that the blight comes from their madness. It is essentially the titans' nightmares!

Now, when we learned that in-game, I absolutely thought the next course of action would be to help them. Not just because it would stop the blight in its tracks and remove one reason for the Veil being up, but it would also snatch away the main weapon of the Evanuris, AND ALSO heal them for the sake of the dwarves. To help them reclaim that part of themselves long-since sundered. Veilguard actually gives us no explanation as to why we DON'T do this. Reversing the damage is briefly considered by Emmrich as a possibility, and never brought up again -- why didn't the team immediately pivot to that, given Harding's presence and connection to the stone? She alone (being the only dwarf currently in Thedas who had that connection) could have led us right to the remaining titans, and we could have used the dagger (the same one used to sunder their spirits in the first place) to heal them, much like the Inquisitor used the anchor to heal.

I had thought this was foreshadowed heavily in Inquisition, given that Solas learns (and is deeply intrigued by) the Inquisitor using the anchor not to rip open the Veil, but to heal it instead -- there's even a codex entry on it in this game. We also learned in Inquisition (Nope, actually DA: Asunder) that Tranquility can be reversed, but very little is done with that revelation in that game's plot -- surely it was meant to set up reversal of the titans' Tranquility in this game? For us to go fix it? Apparently not.

Regardless, that solution (helping the titans) would also have rendered the Evanuris blight-less, defanging them and taking away their favorite toy thus truly evening out the playing field and making the final fight of the game far more believable. Like, in its current state, my little Antivan Crow Rogue Rook kills Elgar'nan. The first of the firstborn. The oldest and strongest of the evanuris. At full power. Something Solas could not do. And Rook did it without even a single power boost -- and yes, I do think that Rook should have taken on the essence of Mythal, leading to Solas having an oh my god there's two of them moment. But that's not really my point in this absolute essay I'm writing you (I'm so sorry if it's more than what you bargained for lol)

My POINT! Is that we finished out Trespasser with Solas treasuring the possibility of being wrong about his plans. We are led to believe that the Inquisitor (or, you know, the protagonist of the next game) is going to find an alternative route, or a reason for him to leave the Veil up -- something that would prove him wrong. Ultimately, my point is that the revelations about the titans should have been that reason. Fixing them, rejoining them with their spirits and curing their tranquility, should have been the alternative that Rook/the Inquisitor presented him. And frankly, that should have been his fucking atonement. None of this bullshit at the end of the game with him binding himself to the Veil, he's quite literally reinforcing the band-aid he slapped over the world instead of getting to the root of the problem. Which is the titans. He should have helped them. He alone probably knows fucking how, since he broke them in the first place. It doesn't make any sense that he didn't... consider that avenue in the first place?

So by the end of the game, it's like oh, great! The Veil is now reinforced so the spirits will continue to suffer. And there's also a very real possibility that the one dwarf in Thedas with stone sense just died, jeopardizing any chances the dwarves had of reconnecting with or helping the titans. So now the titans will continue to suffer too! Yay! All of this buildup was completely pointless!

Given that they're doing a hard reboot of the series (the south was destroyed anyway, any future games likely won't take place there and Thedas as we know it pretty much went through an apocalypse/had way more death than the original ritual would have created), it would have made perfect fucking sense to boardwipe the world and change everything in it by BRINGING DOWN THE VEIL. It would quite literally have accomplished the exact same thing the superblight did, but with added benefits of spirits being free to roam about the cabin, and we could potentially have gotten the freaking titans back. Holy hell. The worst part is that they're still alive. Like, they're more scattered and disparate, clearly, but we're just leaving them in the past? Oh my god, they're still alive! What are we doing! Why aren't we helping them, why aren't we giving the dwarves back their dreams and their magic! Are we seriously supposed to accept that these are just the way things are now, despite the fact that we have a dwarven success story in the party with us? The new postergirl for dwarves getting their magic and their dreams back with very little negative side effects?

Like, the game doesn't do anything to try to convince us it would be a bad thing to save the titans, doesn't do anything to suggest that we should leave this any of this stuff (which, apparently now includes the Dalish, because Arlathan was given to the Veil Jumpers) in the past. It also doesn't put up a great argument for keeping the Veil up, either -- Rook repeatedly says Solas will drown the world in demons, and he doesn't correct them simply because he doesn't respect them -- but we, the players, know that would not be the case. He would have quite literally reunited the world with itself, on multiple levels.

I'm sorry. I'm so irritated about it all, if that wasn't clear by the novel. Thank you again for asking, it was good to get this out. Veil should have come down.