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kitsu-katsu · 3 years

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About revived (by Derivakat)

(Disclaimer: Nothing against Derivakat, I think her songs are amazing in general and she's very talented, I simply have a bone to pick with these lyrics and characterization)

So um, here's my counter to some of the lyrics because fuck it, I'm tired and fueled by spite, let's go:

Let's start with the chorus:

"White streak in my hair but no stress now" - Funnily incorrect, cc!Wilbur confirmed that the white hair is from stress itself, it's not about the revival process alone. Also just by reasoning, I cannot imagine what might have been stressful about spiralling and believing that the world is out to crush you, believing that you're the scum of the Earth as well, only to die, spend 13 and half years in dark isolation and then being jolted back up to life missing huge chunks of information, really cannot fathom how that might be stressful /s

"I've seen hell, but this is a bit more my style" - True you know? It's awesome that he's said that he's over the moon about being alive again after spending 13 and a half years of pure isolation in the dark, screming until his throat was hoarse. But coming from the tone of it, I'd like to point out that Wilbur's also still passively suicidal and self harms (check out the part under "He doesn't love TNT, he self-harms with it" in this post)

"A decade of time to make everything mine" (also counts for "This is my sunrise, this is my dawn, this is what I've waited for all along. All of this time, all this is mine. MINE. MINE. MINE!")- Honestly, based on what he's been doing, no prejudices, forget everything fandom's said: he doesn't really seem to want to "make everything his", does he? This perception mostly comes from him saying "This is my sunrise, this is mine!" in the original revival stream, however, if you forget about common fandom perception, what's so evilly framed about a guy who spent 13 and a half years of isolation in the dark saying "this is my sunrise!" after watching the sun coming up again for the first time since his death, in which he was extremely emotionally unstable? Like for real?

Now onto the verses:

"Am I the bad guy? I'll be the bad guy again" and "I've come back hell-bent" - Now, he has said that: “Here’s the thing, Tommy. I, I, I, I know I was bad, and I know I can redeem myself, but like, you know, there’s a little bit of fun in being bad, you know, we’ve spoken about this.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 11:31, 5th May), BUT, since then he's also expressed genuine remorse for his worse actions during Pogtopia (check out the parts under "He really regrets what happened in Pogtopia" and "Wilbur cares. A LOT" in this post), a wanting to redeem himself and truly become better and... uh... OH! He's also admitted that he's afraid he scares people and cried when Ranboo said that he was "an alright person". For real, just watch the Healthy Competition stream and read this reddit post by cc!Wilbur

The reddit post in question, just in case:

"You think I cared? It was always a means to an end" - So false. Just... so false. Ok, so quick one, let's review the actual lines said originally about him "not caring for L'manburg" in full:

“Uh, one thing, I didn’t actually really care about L'Manberg, I just cared about, you know, sticking it to the man. Actually, I cared about L'Manberg for the sole reason that I could use it to stick it to the man.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 24:18, 5th May)

“Look, I- Okay, I said it wrong. Look, I did care about- I did care about L'Manberg, but I cared about it for- You would call it the wrong reasons, but I, I- Just don’t think about it, don’t think about it too hard. Look, L'Manberg’s gone now, we’ve got that, you know- That, that wart on my side is gone, you know. I salute it, I salute it, you know, it was a great- It was a great place.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 25:18, 5th May)

“Look, Tommy, I’m gonna reiterate for you once more because I don’t think you quite understood, and that’s okay, you know, you don’t need to understand everything. I did care about L'Manberg. I did, I did. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, Tommy. L'Manberg would have been as loved by me had it been called Bimbum and was built in the middle of the desert.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 26:05, 5th May)

“The actual location, and the actual things it was, it were, were not important to me. It’s the thing it stood for. Which was freedom, liberty, and sticking it to the man, Tommy!” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 26:26, 5th May)

“We were a family, Tommy. We were…” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:26, 5th May)

So as you may see, he retracts himself immediately and explains his feelings with more nuance

Then, let's look at the more recent confession to Ranboo:

“I told Tommy that I didn’t actually care about L'Manberg, and that it was just like a tool for me to use to gain like, you know, power and stuff. But it’s not, it’s not true.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:36, 3rd Aug)

“L'Manberg is- was really important to me. And it is still to this day.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

“I want it to, em, I want its history to live on not as a stain caused by me, you know. I basically just took a big shit on the history books, it feels like. I wanna, I wanna make it, I wanna make it feel like it was, you know, it was something that happened. You know, it was a great thing, you know, think of the good times. The- The years of safety. Well, not years, but you know.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

If this got more explicit I'd be literally hitting you over the head with it. Anyway, check out the parts under "Wilbur cared. A LOT" and "He really cared and cares about L'Manburg, and didn't want its ideals twisted to hur others with" in this post

"So who cares? So what? I'm not calming down" and "Shut up! And listen" - “Tommy, shut up! I mean, Tommy, come over here. Tommy, come over here, come over here, man. It’s cool, it’s cool, it’s cool. Sorry, I, I-” (Alivebur)

– (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 26:08, 31st May)

That line's totality gets often cut down, erasing the immediate apology after the loss of cool. Furthermore, I'd argue that him "not calming down" in general is mainly due to his euphoria and overexcitement during certain scenes where it makes complete sense for him to be feeling like that, and in a broader sense, he has a tendency to say things in the heat of the moment and out of impulsivity that he turns to later regret from all the way back at Pogtopia. Him not calming down now is either out of impulsivity or outright euphoria to be out of limbo, not necessarily an evil thing. And when he percieves he should calm down, he tries his best to do it, or apologizes for snapping

“I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know, entirely on the same page. But, man, I promise you, I’ve calmed down, you know, I’m all, I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old, you know, who’s still about, you know, who… Who, uh… uh… Who trusts me and stuff.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:04, 3rd Aug)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

(Check out the parts under "Wilbur cares. A LOT", "Paranoia and distrustfulness are integral parts of his character", "Self-loathing and self-sabotage are also integral parts of his character", "He hesitated regarding the button tons of times" and "He feels inhuman. He knows that people see him as a freak, evil or crazy and that makes him feel dehumanized" in this post)

"There's nothing wrong with me" - BUDDY. Wilbur drowns in self-hatred, what are you talking about? The man got caught off guard and cried when someone said "you're an alright person"... He's worried that he scares people, he knows how others see him on top of his own self-hatred

“TommyInnit, as you know, is just, he thinks I’m insane. I’m not insane, chat, I’m not insane.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 4:30, 16th Oct)

“See, I’m not so crazy, Tommy. I know what I’m doing.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:40, 16th Oct)

“I’ve told you, I’m not crazy, Tommy. I know what I’m doing, and this is genuinely the best thing we could do right now.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 17:18, 16th Oct)

“I’m not crazy! How am I crazy?!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 43:18, 17th Oct)

“Everyone I seem to meet has this deep intrisnic feeling of disgust towards me. Jack Manifold seemed to be quite nice to me, but I reckon he, I could feel it, you know, in his stare. But like, you don’t have that. I can tell you’re a good guy.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 30:24, 5th May)

“Quackity, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve, I’ll be honest you with you, I’ve lost everything, man. I, um. I’ve lost decades of my life. I’ve lost my- most of the people who cared about me. Some people don’t even know I’m back yet, and I, and I think that’s probably for the best. So I feel like that does humble a man. That really humbles a man, you know?” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:00:52, 31st May)

“Listen, Phil, I met, I met Quackity. After you very kindly lent me your house. I went and met him. Yeah! I met up with him, and I hadn’t seen him in ages. It was, I’m gonna say it, it was nice. It was a nice time. I- I- It felt good, it felt, uh, you know, he didn’t, he didn’t seem afraid of me, which is cool.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 7:38, 25th July)

“Not many people do. I mean, Phil, you don’t seem afraid of me, you’re not afraid of me, are you, Phil?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 8:03, 25th July)

“Good, good. 'Cause I’m not afraid of you.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 8:10, 25th July)

“Why? Why? … No, no, no, no, no, not the, not the bit about the, not the bit about the right foot, the why don’t you think I’m a bad person?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 35:13, 25th July)

“Can I be real with you, man? I think I scare people.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:30, 25th July)

“I mean, like I, I, I, I don’t think I, I- I think a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them, you know? Like they’ve seen what I can do, and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:46, 25th July)

“Dream is- He’s had his comeuppance, and I have not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for this people. They’re just waiting, they’re waiting for the next thing for me to slip up on, and, Ranboo, I’m not gonna fucking slip up, Ranboo. I’m different.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:07, 25th July)

“I’m living in eternal limbo, again. I’ve been through limbo, I’m out of limbo, and socially, I’m still in this limbo.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:36, 25th July)

(Check out the parts under "He feels inhuman. He knows that people see him as a freak, evil or crazy and that makes him feel dehumanized", "Paranoia and distrustfulness are integral parts of his character" and "Self-loathing and self-sabotage are also integral parts of his character" in this post)

"Oh yes, I blew up the nation!" (said with glee) - I make a point of the tone in this specific line, because I could make a point of the tone in the whole song, but this line is a good example. He didn't blow up L'manburg just with glee like "hell yeah! I did it!". Of course he talks about it with pride sometimes, but it's usually either said in the middle of the same impulsive moments in which he'd claim he doesn't care, said with relief of him having control over at least that situation (like him sighing right after doing it just to ask Phil to finish it off by killing him), or said with the same deflection with which he'd claim that not having a grave didn't affect him and was badass actually since he only wanted it for the hateful obituaries anyway (which was a lie, and he admitted it on the third of august stream when saying "I was so pressed about not having a grave" in case you had doubts)

Finally, I want to make emphasis on the fact that: The explosion on the 16th had two main drives behind it and they often get glossed over. The first objectivee was blowing it up and causing just enough destruction to get L'manburg back (You know, when Wilbur still had some kind of hope). After his spiral went further and his paranoia and self-loathing worsened, his two drives become apparent: First was blowing it up to rid the world of the twisted thing L'manburg became, ridding the world of what the twisted version of his ideals became with Schlatt in control of them. Secondly, he wanted to end L'manburg as a part of himself and rid the world of himself completely (by this I'm referencing his suicide), he decided he wanted to die and expected that as a result since a lot of time before the 16th. The explosion was effectively a bigger projection of his suicide, rid the world of both himself and his creation, mixed with his constant desire to protect, it also becomes "rid the world of the corrupted version of L'manburg that became Manburg", because for all intents and purposes, since the important thing about L'manburg was its founding ideals, L'manburg had been dead for a long time at that point.

“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)

“Explain it to me! Give me a reason! Give me a reason!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:50, 17th Oct)

“Who else is it gonna hurt?! It’s gonna hurt Schlatt, Manberg, and-” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:55, 17th Oct)

“Why did I bring- I should have just done it. I’m such a fucking showman. I should have just done it.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:18, 17th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I just- I just want to f… I just wanna end it, I wanna end it. I wanna press that button, man.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:08, 17th Oct)

(Check out the parts under "Wilbur cares. A LOT", "Paranoia and distrustfulness are integral parts of his character", "Self-loathing and self-sabotage are also integral parts of his character", "He hesitated regarding the button tons of times", "He really cared and cares about L'Manburg, and didn't want its ideals twisted to hur others with", and "He really regrets what happened in Pogtopia" in this post)

#tw self harm mention #tw suicide mention #wilbur #wilbur soot #c!wilbur #wilbur dsmp #revived #revivedbur #alivebur #revived wilbur #derivakat revived #fandom critical #dsmp #dream smp #analysis #c!wilbur analysis

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greatghuleh · 2 years

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Same anon as before to add more.

We saw a glimpse of Legit Pirate Stede when Doug tried to touch him and he reacts as he does. Kind of shocked himself as much as anyone else that THAT was his instinct...

In the same manner that it took us a few episodes to get to Ed/Blackbeard, I think that two or maybe three episodes to emphasize the change in Stede will be needed. One where he himself accepts it, one where the crew he rescues off that small island also accepts it, and a small but impactful event where word begins to spread about the Gentleman Pirate. Echos of the first season, yet adding in all that actually happened into a new meaning.

Ed and Stede balanced each other out in different ways. Ed seeing how less affected Stede's becoming in his pirate ways (maybe it hits Stede even more after leaving his family in the terms he did this time that this is it, this is his life now, he can't let himself continue to live in the illusions he's painted himself into believing. how the 'killing with kindness' could actually be real. He wants to survive the chaos of the sea, he's going to have to adapt more with the coldness to it)

And like the moment when Stede's telling Ed about Jack and Ed's, and I'm paraphrasing, 'this is what I'm like deep down, this is the real me, just like him. just like all real pirates'...and now Ed's beginning to see that Stede's adapting to a deeper degree of pirate and curiosity and worry mixed together is what causes them to go after Stede again. (i had more but people interrupted me and I lost my train of thought xD)

The only caveat on the "Legit Pirate Stede" almost slicing Doug's throat is that was a drunk Stede. not to give that an excuse, but Stede is so used to keeping a bit of a tight reign on things, this was an insight into uninhibited Stede... and we need to see that be unleashed, to a certain extent while... in his right mind. But yes, the show is definitely pointing at very specific things with Stede, and his ability to be absolutely... well.. violent, throughout.

Yeah, the journey of S2 should be Stede finding his feet, getting his crew re-established with the "new" him. then Blackbeard/Ed really going through it and then eventually coming face to face again with a more confident and knowing Stede. And seeing that play out.

I'm actually curious if they'll keep the Gentleman Pirate stuff, I actually am. Being that it is tied to Stede Bonnet, and Stede Bonnet is dead... and if this is the show's "out" on the historical death of Stede Bonnet, we might lose that moniker entirely.

Interesting take that Ed would maybe start to worry(?) about Stede getting too into the pirate-life. which, would make a degree of sense, given Ed's own distaste for it.

aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh, there are so many avenues S2 could take and so many would be good.

#anonymous #thank you!#tv: ofmd #ofmd #our flag means death #sorry you got interrupted i love chatting about it #long post

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dcforts · 4 years

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[lebanon]

ao3

Sometimes, when he is at the bunker and things are quiet, Castiel goes out and ventures in town.

Some days he just feels like stretching his legs, so he takes off before dawn. It’s a long walk to the town center and back in time to see everyone get up for the day, but he likes the solid asphalt of the road under his shoes, the smell of the trees all around, the chirping of the birds nestled on their branches. He likes the clear air of the morning, the cold first light of the day. He enjoys how the landscape is both empty and full, quiet and rich.

It’s always too early to interact to anyone; the town is still sleeping and whoever is already around is too groggy or too busy to give you anything more than a curt nod. Cas appreciates that. Although at this point he feels pretty comfortable on Earth, there are times when he still feels like a fish out of water, so he relishes these morning walks that don’t require too much effort.

On one of those mornings, Dean wakes up while he is still out, and Cas’ phone rings in his pocket as he walks. On the other end Dean gruffly says, Where are you? and Cas looks around and reads out loud the first sign he sees. He says, Gallery Bistrò and Dean says, And where is that? and Cas says Lebanon, Kansas and Dean says Oh and, after a moment, I thought you’d taken off. Cas smiles, looking at the freshly baked croissant displayed in the windows of the bistrò and says I’m on my way and Would you like a croissant?

Some days, when he has errands to run, Cas takes his pick-up.

He always passes by the front windows of the post office and when the place is empty and she is not busy, Marta catches his eyes through the blinds and waves at him to come inside. He doesn’t mind spending a few minutes chatting with her. She is kind and nods understandingly and never makes him feel like he’s speaking in tongues. She always asks after Dean at some point, she says How’s Dean? and He should come by more often, will you tell him that? and Cas always says He’s fine and Of course, he’s very busy with work but he’d love to come by. He likes the way she lights up at that and how - later, when he tells him - Dean snorts and brags about his charm.

But some other times when she talks about Dean she says He is such a gentleman and What a nice person and Cas nods and says He is and He is the best man I know and her face melts into a soft smile, she pats his hand and says I know, darling. Cas doesn’t know what she knows but he doesn’t ask. He doesn’t even tell Dean because he doesn’t know how to explain it. She shows him pictures of her grandson and he buys stamps with sea animals to give Jack as a present.

Then he stops at the liquor store. Jackson will have ready for him two or three cases of the usual beer. From the moment he sees him at the door he talks and talks about how happy he is that the Campbell brothers moved to town, because They know their stuff, he can tell, and he never had anyone like Dean with whom he could talk about booze for hours.

He motions to follow him out back and always insists on helping him carry the cases to his pick-up even if Cas says Thank you and There’s no need cause he can handle it of course, but Jackson is already grabbing one and cutting him off saying Believe me, give it a few years and you’ll feel it and You gotta be careful with your back so Cas lets him help and accepts the spare bottle of whatever new thing he has for Sam and Dean to try and promises him to tell the Campbells that they’re always welcome there.

When they are missing something from the bunker he stops at the mini mart. Fortunately, the young man he was rude to that one time doesn’t work there anymore. Stacy always greets him with a friendly Hello, unless it’s very early in the morning and she still has sleep fogging her eyes or late in the afternoon and she looks bored with her schoolbooks open on her lap.

The first few times, when he approaches her, she avoids his gaze, in a way that suggests that they both know the same secret, and it’s a truth that doesn’t exactly scare her but she would rather not know. Those first few times when he puts the basket on the counter, she says Everything alright? a little unsure, like she is asking about the shopping but also like she is worried that he is going to start talking about monsters. Cas says Yes and nothing else so as not to scare her.

One quiet afternoon though, she is clumsily trying to figure out how the brand new object scanner works and Cas sees her growing frustrated. She says I hate this thing under her breath. He extends one hand and says I can show you and, proudly, I’ve worked in a Gas n’ Sip. She doesn’t seem impressed by that, but lets him try and Cas teaches her. Now when she says Everything alright? she smiles and Cas says Yes and Thank you, Stacy.

If Max is perched on the counter next to her, flipping through a magazine, Stacy is even more relaxed. They exchange looks behind Cas’ back and Max watches him from under her eyelashes the whole time he wanders around in the shop. One time she sees him looking at the candy bars display for a long time and she heads over, points at one kind of chocolate bar and says Trust me. He buys three. He forgets them in the pocket of his coat and Dean eats them all one morning when they head out before he can have breakfast. After the first bite he turns towards Cas with his eyes wide and asks Where did you get these? And Cas says A friend recommended them.

As he drives by the small movie theater he makes sure to memorize the movies they are showing that week in case they decide to have a movie night out. One time they are giving an old movie whose title sounds familiar, so he stops the pick-up, fishes out his phone and sends Dean a picture of the posters, to which Dean texts back We’re going. Only, some case turns up later than night and they are gone all week and miss it.

When he comes back, Dean snoops in the bags he brings in, makes sure he got everything from Jackson, hears about his chats with Marta. Sometimes he jokes You’re gonna steal her from me, to which Cas responds earnestly, I don’t mean to, and Dean laughs and it echoes on the kitchen walls. And then Cas stops by Jack’s room and knocks lightly on the wooden door, usually ajar. As soon as Jack sees him slipping a hand in his coat’s pocket his face brightens. He stretches a hand out and Cas rests the stamp on his palm. It’s usually a little crumpled but Jack always smiles and says A sea lion! or A whale! or A shark! or A sea horse! and That’s so cool and Thank you Cas, like he just handed him a star. And Cas lingers a few moments by the door just to watch him place it in his little wooden box, together with the rest of his small collection.

Sometimes before going back to the bunker he visits the pizza place, where Max’s mum, Caitlin, works. He opens up Sam’s latest text message and lists off their order. During the weekend, a table far back in a corner is usually crowded with young familiar faces. He stands at the entrance waiting for his order to be ready, looking down at the checkered floor and twisting the receipt in his hands and he feels their eyes on him.

One time Eliot ventures to the counter to get a refill for his drink. He makes a poor attempt at covering the fact that he is watching him and Cas pretends not to notice to spare him the embarrassment, but Eliot surprises him, turns around and bravely asks You are Jack’s father right? Cas hesitates, then says, I am and Eliot smiles and nods enthusiastically, I figured, you look exactly the same. Cas is pleased to hear that. Eliot starts talking non-stop, about things he read and things he knows and asking about Jack without even giving him time to answer and Cas is only saved by Caitlin who hands him his pile of pizza boxes. Eliot follows him to the door and keeps it open for him and says Tell him to text me, okay? So we can hang out sometimes.

On the nights he gets pizza, he takes the boxes to the pick-up, places on the passenger seat and drives carefully back to the bunker. He parks, kills the engine, exits, gets to the passenger seat, takes out the pizza boxes and makes his way to the map room. Dean is usually there already, waiting, with an uncorked beer in one hand. He greets him widening his arms and saying Finally and Thank god I was starving before shouting for Sam to join them. Jack doesn’t need to be called, he comes stumbling immediately after Cas, drawn by the smell of food that fills the hallways.

Dean is on his second slice by the time Sam walks in and complains that Dean didn’t wait for him. Sometimes he comes in with a news or wants to talk about his latest research. And Dean rolls his eyes and points at the pizza, and with his mouth full says, Dude, pizza first, work later and Cas sits by Jack’s side and watches them and feels happy.

One time Dean drives to meet him in town and they sit at the pizza place and Caitlin stops by the table to get their orders and says It’s nice to have you here for once and Max and Stacy wave at them from the corner table and keep sneaking glances at them and whispering and Dean notices but doesn’t mention it, just fiddles with the menu longer than he usually does and keeps his elbows off the table where he’s sure he can’t touch Cas’.

He says, This is weird and Is this weird? and Cas says, It’s not each time until Dean relaxes and jokes and forgets about whatever was bothering him and when Caitlin comes by asking if they have room for dessert he cheerfully says, We’ll take two slices of pie for the road and nudges Cas with his elbow, now very much in contact with his.

Dean walks beside him down the empty streets, swinging the bag with the pies with one hand and touching the back of Cas’ hand with the other, once, twice. Then he grabs it. He says This is weird and Is this weird? and Cas says It’s not each time and Dean squeezes his hand. He says, Who could’ve known? and Cas says Marta knew and Dean laughs and says Yeah, you’re probably right.

They get to the cars and Dean follows him to his pick-up and Cas lets him push him against it and press his body against his. Cas slips his hands under Dean’s jacket to rest them on his hips, and kisses him slowly and the bag swings and drops from Dean’s fingers.

A long time passes before a distance sound startles them apart. Dean pulls back and says, We should get home. Cas watches him stumbling backwards, picking up his bag, smiling. He says Uh, right and I’ll see you at home and he waves awkwardly. Cas smiles and gets into his pick-up and as he drives right behind the Impala, the town, quiet and empty, rolls by outside his windows and he thinks, I like it here.

#deancas #deancas ficlet #destiel #destiel ficlet #deancas fanfic #2k #everyone in town loves them #as they should #the way i included dean in some way in every bit without even noticing #this is what it must feel like to live in cas' head #so i added a little extra at the end to seal it as a deancas #this work completely ignores what went down between jack and the guys in 14.16 #cause i want him to have friends #food cw #destiel fanfiction #deancas ficlets #my writing

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dadolorian · 4 years

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A Second Chance - Part 1 Whiskey x F!Reader

A/N: I had an idea for a slow burn with Whiskey i couldn’t shake. Reader is Agent Schorle ,a short, curvy female employee at Statesman (Not a field agent). She works in the ‘PR’ department and is good friends with Tequila. This is a mix between canon and Fanon Whiskey, set after Golden Circle so it rewrites canon and he’s not a secret bad guy, living past the events of the movie. But he is still a womanizer while he is single. Like with most my x reader fics its more OFC than a traditional reader but i change it up so it can be read as a reader fic, meaning the reader is more of a character. This chapter is just their introduction/first impressions. Also! I AM NOT American, so if i get any shit about America wrong, IDGAF. Credits: No Beta reader. HMU if you wanna be one for this series

Title: A Second Chance Fandom: Kingsman; the Golden Circle. Ship: Agent Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels/Reader Warning: Bit of womanizing behavior from Whiskey (Surprise surprise), it’s not rejected by the reader character so its consensual. Nothing else for this chapter. Heads up before you get invested, not in this chapter but there will be triggering stuff as part of the plot in later chapters, and there will be kids in later chapters too, just in case either of those things aren’t your cup of tea. No use of Y/N in this chapter. There are two narrative perspectives in this story, 3rd person Whiskey perspective and 2nd person Reader perspective. Promise not to flip between them too often. Word count: - 2K Master List - coming soon Request status AO3 Link - coming soon Next part - coming soon

The first thing Jack Daniels noticed was not the way her pencil skirt hugged her ass, or the way her blouse struggled to contain her breasts, as much as his colleagues would later claim. He was well aware of his reputation as a womanizer and didn't exactly blame them for that immediate assumption, it was what most people noticed first about her anyway, why would Jack Daniels, the womanizing Cowboy be any different? No, the thing he noticed first was her laugh. It was so warm, angelic, he was entranced hopelessly from the first moment he first heard it in the Statesman hallway. He would give his damn hat to hear that sound grace his ears again.

He had gravitated over to her immediately, joining in on the little conversation she was having with Tequila. He tried to be subtle, he really did, waltzing up to the two of them with his best, charming smile, checking her out as he did so and nodding a greeting at his colleague. She was short, and curvy, her attire was office professional, meaning she probably wasn't a field agent, tidy, small heels showing her shapely curves of her legs, and soft, professional curls hung loosely, framing her round face. She was gorgeous. “Hey there Tequila,” he smiled, before nodding in her direction. “You gonna introduce me to your pretty lil friend here?” She blushed slightly, he noticed, as she pushed some of her neat hair behind her ear, she had a small shy smile on her face too, ‘cute as a button’ he thought. “Ahhh come on Whiskey, leave her alone,” Tequila groaned dramatically, making her giggle. Jack couldn’t help his smile growing at the sound. “Now now Boy,” he chuckled, patting Tequila's shoulder. “You can’t be hiding this pretty little thing from me and not expect her to catch my eye,” he added, shooting her a playful wink. She hugged the files she was carrying closer to her chest, blushing more and avoided his eye contact. Jack might have assumed she was uncomfortable if that smile wasn’t still playing on her lips. “She’s off limits, Whiskey,” Tequila sighed. “I think she can make her own mind up about that,” Whiskey grinned, elbowing the younger agent. “She’s a big girl. Now come on, show some manners and introduce me.” She giggled again and Tequila groaned, pissed off that already Whiskey’s stupid southern charm was working already. “Whiskey,” he sighed, already expecting the ungodly amount of flirting that was about to rain down upon his friend. “This is Schorle. One of our ‘behind the scenes’ agents.’PR’ department.” Jack flashed her a crooked smile as Tequila continued, motioning to the senior agent. “Schorle, this is Whiskey. I’ve told you ‘bout him before.” “Oh, have you now?” Jack chuckled, he put his hands on his hips and faced her more directly. “All good things I hope?” he asked her. She gave him another shy smile and Jack felt his heart soar. “I am well aware of you Agent Whiskey, and not just from Tequila here,” she said, now his heart felt like it had skipped a beat. Her voice was as angelic as her laugh! “Again, I hope it's all good things,” he laughed. “Most the time, yes,” she hummed playfully. “My main job is hiding Statesman true existence from the public eye.” She flashed him a more coy smile and his grin grew. “Which means i tend to hear about certain escapades, such as a cable car sledding down a mountain.” Jack rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, laughing nervously. “You certainly don't make my job easy sometimes, Agent,” she teased. Jack's expression was one of pleasant surprise, she wasn’t as shy as she appeared. Tequila laughed, pleased his friend was at least able to bite back at the other man. “She’s still off limits old man,” the younger agent muttered to him. “I am not that much older than you,” Jack retorted, making her giggle some more. “And as i rightfully pointed out earlier, she can make up her own mind about me i am sure.” Tequila was about to bite back but she interrupted whatever thought he was about to say. “He’s right on that Tequila. I can make up my own mind,” she said, giving Jack another smile. “And right now my mind is telling me i need to get back to work.” She gave Jack a nod and Tequila a friendly wave as she turned on her heels and went back to wherever her office was. Whiskey let out a long whistle when she was out of earshot, admiring her ass as her hips swayed. His staring was interrupted by Tequila wacking him in the chest with the back of his hand. “Hey! I’m only looking!” he pouted. “She didn’t seem to have a problem with me.” “Dang it Whiskey she's my friend!” Tequila groaned. “Just leave her alone, she don’t need none of that. “ “She’s not married,and I know she ain’t your girl,” Jack remarked. “She’s still my friend Whiskey,” the younger agent sighed. “I don’t want her gettin’ hurt.” Jack frowned at him. “Hey now that’s not fair,” he said sternly. “I know I have a reputation an all but you’re acting like I plan on breaking her heart.” “She’s one of the nicest people I ever met, she doesn’t deserve to be your current flavor of the month,” Tequila defended. “Now I take personal offence to that Tequila,” Jack countered. “I would like to think myself a gentleman and my intentions are purely honorable.” “The way you were staring at her ass tells me otherwise,” Tequila mumbled. “C’mon Whiskey, you don’t even know her. She’s just another pretty piece of ass to you and we both know it.” Whiskey gave him a disappointed look. Slightly upset his friend would think so lowly of him, but he had to admit his reputation did nothing to counter it. “It’s really bothering you isn’t it?” he asked, sighing when Tequila nodded. “Fine, look, I won’t chase her. If it means that much to you,” he sighed in defeat. He was still enamored with her, but if hooking up with her bothered Tequila so much he wouldn’t in good conscience be able to do so. “That a promise?” Tequila asked, holding his hand out for Jack to shake and seal the deal. “Yeah,” he sighed, taking the offered hand. “She must mean a lot to you,” he added, only getting another nod in return from the younger man as they shook hands.

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You first noticed Whiskey long, long before the two of you ever actually met in person. You hadn’t been joking about dealing with the results of his missions, constantly having to kill stories in the press or send out false reports to police and media so that Statesman’s business remained out of the public eye. Your ‘PR’ department was often quite busy, constantly searching social media to kill any evidence that might have been captured by the public. It was a 24 hour job, one you were in charge of now.

Years ago, when you were a new hire, just one of the lackeys, your first assignment was to comb through social media to kill any evidence of Whiskey’s latest mission. You hadn’t slept for two days during that time, surviving on caffeine and an ambition to make a good impression at your new job. You could vaguely remember complaining to one of your co-workers about the agent who had gone in guns (and Lasso) blazing without considering the fact that smart phones were now a thing and that the target was a very public figure. That was the first time you heard of him, as your more experienced co-worker gushed over his skills as an agent while you sat and seethed at the ungodly amount of work he had caused you on your first assignment.

You could look back on that memory fondly now, and since then your opinion of him had changed as you heard more and more about him. He was a skilled agent, had a strong sense of justice and always got the job done. Sure, his methods were sometimes a little unorthodox and he was often quick to jump into the fray, but there was no denying his skill. He was a senior agent for a reason after all. And of course, you had heard about his reputation, no woman in the office hadn’t. He would flirt with any pretty thing that caught his eye. You used to think that your co-workers that fell for his charm were foolish for falling for it, given his well known reputation among Statesman, but that was before you met him in person. You had seen him in passing before, from afar, or glimpses of him in the social media posts you killed, he was handsome, sure, but it was a whole different level when you met him face to face. You thought you were safe from his charm, believed you were smart enough not to fall for it should it happen to come your way, but you also doubted you would ever be on the receiving end of it. You had been in the same room as him plenty of times in the past and he had never paid any attention to you, and not to mention you didn’t exactly fit his usual type. You were short, plump, nothing like the field agents he was used to working with, women who were physically fit enough to work alongside him and fight. Not to say you thought you were completely unattractive, sure it sometimes bothered you that your blouse could barely contain your breasts and that your stomach and thighs were a little too soft for your liking, but you weren’t blind. You could see the not so subtle looks as you walked past, the way people would try to discreetly check out your ass as you walked. It was a confidence booster for sure. It just never occurred to you before that you would be Whiskeys type. So the day the two of you met officially, you couldn’t help the blushes, he was attractive, and paying attention to you, perhaps it wasn’t so hard to see why women fell for his charm even with his reputation. You were just like every other woman he flirted with, but when he spoke to you it made you feel special. You supposed that was the appeal, why it was so easy for him. It wasn’t until you had excused yourself from his company and were able to calm down that you began to chide yourself for falling for his charm. You reminded yourself of his reputation, as handsome and charming as he was you didn’t want to be just another roll in the hay for him.

You sighed as you made your way into your office. Now the head of Statesman’s ‘PR’ department you were officially considered an ‘agent’, the perks in which included your own private office. You dropped your files off before making your way inside, ready to get back to work, trying to ignore the way Whiskey's attention had made your heart flutter and pretend you weren’t looking forward to seeing him again.

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#Agent whiskey x reader #Agent Whiskey x you #Agent Whiskey x ofc #jack daniels x reader #jack daniels x you #jack daniels x ofc #jack whiskey daniels x reader #jack whiskey daniels x you #agent jack whiskey daniels x reader #agent jack whiskey daniels x you #kingsman the golden circle #kingsman fanfiction #agent whiskey fanfic #my fic #Second chance #SC #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader

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beerecordings · 5 years

Note

Bee, do you have bastard cats au fluff? Please? Do the kitties know that chase loves them very much? You don’t have to answer but I’d appreciate it

yes of course my friend!! ninja if you want something in specific i will even write u a lil fic or something you just let me know!! also i am always up for talking about my kitty boys but i never do without prompting haha. okay let’s see what we got

Chase used to think cats were a little like girly - like he didn’t look down on women with cats or anything like that but he just always thought his friends would kind of make fun of him if he was like a cat guy so he was always like “uhh yeah i like dogs” even though really he likes soft squishy warm cats

but then he meets Jack and Anti and OHHH MY GOSH HE LOVES CATS SO MUCH??? he ends up staying with the two of them for a while after the divorce and he’s all sad and crying a lot and he won’t always let Jack comfort him so Jack like scoops up Anti and he’s like “buddy I got a special mission for you” and slips Anti into Chase’s room and like… Anti is not a comforting cat lmao but just having him there running around is stimulating for Chase… and then sometimes Anti gives up the ghost and comes and sits purring on Chase’s chest while he cries and Chase rubs his warm soft ears and loves him so much and Anti’s like “okay this guy’s okay, whatever” and lets him

after that Chase NEEDS his kitty fix so he starts volunteering at an animal shelter and just PETTING CATS FOR HOURS YEHHHHH but then holy cow. holy cow. holy cow Jackie

he is the most perfect beautiful cat Chase has ever seen and yes Jackie has some neurological problems and tends to run into walls and get over-excited and stuff and nobody really wants him but Chase - oh, Chase sees him all sad and lonely in his cage and as soon as he opens it up Jackie is the friendliest cat ever to live, charging at Chase and shoving himself into his chest, begging to be petted, cause no matter how many times humans screw him over, Jackie doesn’t care, he’s such a loving cat and Chase doesn’t know why he’s crying but he loves Jackie, he loves him, he can’t leave him here, this is HIS cat and he scoops him up and kisses him and brings him home

Jackie is SOOO HAPPY YESSSS HUMAN ADOPTED HIMMMMMM THIS IS THE DREAMMM

He wakes Chase up with kisses every morning and Chase gives him a big hug and Jackie purrs and purrs. He grows out of awkward little teen cat into BIG BIG BIG RED BOY WITH FUR EVERYWHEREEE just unbelievable fuzz

and yes, yes, yes, he knows Chase loves him, never doubts it for a second, cause Jackie is the warmest cat in the world and Chase is the one who refills his bowl and lets him have bits of his dinner and holds him in his lap and pets him and loves him all the time and Jackie knows, Jackie knows. so he is always trying to love on Chase right back, kissing and arching his spine up beneath his hands and sitting with him when he’s sick or sad, putting his lil paw on Chase’s face and looking him dead in the eye, like sometimes he’s just trying to say it out loud, “I love you dude!!!!!” and Chase just squishes him to his belly and tells him he loves him too against his fur

Jackie is BIG PROTECTIVE of Chase and he WILL fight dogs to keep him safe (but Chase never gives him the chance lol)

Marvin is a surprise kitty cause one of Chase’s aunts leaves him to Chase in her will and Chase is like “you can LEAVE cats to people?” and the answer is yes if that cat is a snow-white show cat worth like three thousand dollars

Chase can’t sell him though because Marvin is the proudest, sassiest, most lovely little cat and Chase adores him from the second he gets his hands on him. Marvin loves walking all over Chase’s chest and pretending he’s not looking at him and ignoring Jackie’s antics because he is too dignified for that - okay maybe he will chase the laser pointer for just one second -

when Marvin gives Chase affection, it’s like being blessed by a picky god, and Chase just closes his eyes and lies back while Marvin steps over all prissy and perfect and bestows gentle headbumps and kneads his claws into his chest

Chase: THE PAIN IS WORTH ITTTTT ily Marvvvv

and Marvin is stepping around all proud like “duh of course you do I’m perfect” (but really he is very nice kitty and very polite and folds his paws and does not beg and always brings Chase dead leaves as presents because he is such a gentleman and so clever, as Chase tells him endlessly

Jackie and Marv always sleep halfway on top of each other and fully on top of Chase. Jackie snores. Chase is so exasperated and he whispers “dumb-ass” and strokes his head and when he wakes up every morning he gets either paws in his face or two happy kitties mirroring each other on his chest, purring with their eyes closed, and he is Happy

Chase, hugging his kitties: thank you for the dopamine tiny babies

After Chase adopts Henrik he does in fact start to get teased a little by his friends but then he’s like wait a second…. i don’t need less cats… i need BETTER FRIENDS SCREW U ZACH DR. HENRIK VON SCHNEEPLESTEIN HAS DONE MORE FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH THAN YOU EVER HAVE AND YES THAT IS HIS LEGAL NAME HE HAS THREE PHDS

Schneep is. VERY MEAN at first actually. When he came into the shelter all torn up (they think a dog got him) he was so gross and sick and flea-covered that no one else really gave him much attention, and he would just lie at the back of his cage wheezing and trying to growl. Chase would pet him, though, and Henrik would just melt and slump down in his arms, too tired to purr, just staring up at Chase like he was begging for help. Everybody told Chase Henrik would die, but he didn’t. Chase had to bring him home

Henrik was very untrusting and angry and hurting and getting in fights with Jackie and Marvin for a few weeks, but Chase just tried to give him space and love and reward him for even the smallest attempts at being sociable, and finally there was this day where Henrik just… broke for Chase. came to him crying and trying to purr and begging for attention and Chase just started crying too and picked him up and loved on him for hours.

now Henrik is a HEALTHY HAPPY SNARKY KITTY always going >:3 and Chase is just his favorite person ever and he hates just about everybody but Chase. he is Chase’s loyal little boy and whenever Chase is feeling bad Henrik seems to be able to tell, cause he’ll follow Chase around like meowing at him, and Chase like gives him a voice and pretends his little doctor is reminding him to take his medicine and everything

also no offense to Jackie and Marv but. Henrik is like. way smarter than them adkfnkdgd he won’t do tricks but he has learned things like he’s not allowed to sit in Chase’s lap when the red light is on the camera, but he can when it isn’t, which Chase just thinks is?? ridiculously smart for a cat?? he’s not sure though

when Jack goes into his coma, it’s one of the hardest times in Chase’s life, and he’s such a mess and can’t focus on anything. but Anti needs him, and so do the other cats. even on his worst days, he finds himself dragging himself out of bed to refill everybody’s food and scoop Anti up before he can start yowling for Jack and crying again. sometimes he can even get up the strength to play with him for a little while, trying to take his mind off his missing owner.

he probably wouldn’t have survived it without his cats, in retrospect. Jackie keeps batting things in front of his face and going :DDD trying to cheer him up, and Marvin’s flaunting his big bushy tail all around the house, brushing on Chase’s legs and face and meowing politely, thanking Chase every time he feeds him. Henrik keeps leading Chase into the kitchen and Chase is too tired to argue with him so he’s like “you want a snack, sweetie? You can have anything you want” and gets the fridge open, but Henrik is just staring pointedly at the leftovers on the top shelf and Chase is like… “i think this cat wants me to eat” so for Henrik’s sake he tries

Anti misses Jack…. but Chase is the one who looks after him now. so he’s gone from his owner, and he’ll always miss him, but… he’s okay, you know? he’s not hurt or hungry or lonely. he’s okay, just like Jack would want him to be. he knows Chase loves him because even when he is a huge troublemaker and throwing a tantrum and trying to be a bastard just because he’s sad and angry, Chase is still gentle with him, Chase forgives him and lets him pretend to hate him only to slink onto the end of his bed late at night….. yeah, Chase loves Anti and Anti knows it. Anti loves him too, though that’s hard to see for just about anybody but Chase himself

and things are okay, they’re holding on, they’re surviving. Chase is trying to keep his head up, but there’s a long time where it feels like Jack and the cats are all he can think about, and even they kind of make him sad, because they remind him of Jack and make him think he’s been a horrible owner, never able to spend enough time on them when he’s on his down days. he needs something to pour his energy and love into, something to distract him from everything, something new

and there he is - the perfect baby boy

Jamie is a tiny, tiny, tiny kitty who’s been living on the streets for all of his short life and Chase falls in love with him. he finds him in the gutter a couple blocks down the street - no one else has noticed because Jamie can barely meow, this tiny little whisper-cry - but Chase sees him. he spends three hours trying to get Jamie out of there. afterwards he has this filthy, mostly-blind, malnourished, stinking baby cat who needs him desperately, and there’s no going back after that. there’s no giving Jamie away.

and Jamie love him very much. he seems to know that Chase saved him. he is very tired and weak his first few months and he never gets to be very big - in fact, he will always be a tiny little cat - but Chase thinks he’s the most perfect, beautiful little thing he’s ever seen, and he spends hours nursing him and flattering him and telling him he loves him. Jamie gives him his tiny half-mew and chews on his fingers. he can’t much purr, but Chase recognizes the little coughs and chest-sighs he gives off as his best attempts at it

the other cats are like “BABY????”

Jackie tries to teach him cat kung-fu, jumping around the walls at three am in the morning. Marvin tries to teach him MANNERS in the midst of all these hooligans (Jamie is very polite too in the end but also just as chaotic as his biggest brother). Henrik is!!! very!! hecking!!! concerned for this sick little infant!!! he is licking Jamie all matter-of-factly and rumbling at him like he’s telling him to get better (once Chase catches Henrik carrying Jameson by his baby scruff to sit on HIS bed instead of the couch, but that is a secret because HENRIK VON SCHNEEPLESTEIN DOES NOT SHOW ZE OTHER KITTIES AFFECTION)

Jameson imprints on Chase and follows him around the house like a duckling on tiny kitten paws. it is hard for him because he can’t see well, so Chase starts singing around the house a lot. eventually the cats all learn that this means he is probably not busy and might give them some pets or snacks if they come, so he starts humming and cats converge on him like he’s catnip, with tiny Jamie tottering along behind them or hanging out of Jackie’s mouth like he’s bringing Chase a present

Chase narrates Henrik as German, Jamie as British, Marvin and Jackie as Irish twins, and Anti as SCREECH

he just. he just loves them so much. he knows it’s maybe a little silly to have five cats but he just… loves them. they’re so important. they’re so real to him. they’re not just pets, these are his little buds. he takes care of them and they take care of him.

he comforts them at the vet. they steal his whiskey when he’s not looking. he puts a little bow around Marvin’s neck. Marvin spends two hours purring on his chest when he’s crying the next day. he plays games with them. they hide his socks and make him look for them. and damn, he’s got so many good memories with these little dorks…. Jackie getting stuck in the kitchen drawer, Marvin getting scared by the thunderstorm and needing a hug, splashing Henrik in the face when he got all curious about the kitchen sink, the first time Anti snuggled up with him, Jamie licking gently at his hands while he sat up all night with him just to keep him alive….

They’re his buddies. He loves them. They know. They knew all along. Cats are clever. They know. They won’t forget. They love him too

#soft!anti #long post #bastard cats au

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honeypiehotchner · 5 years

Text

Beautiful Stranger (Chris Evans x OFC) -- part eight

Warnings: teeth-rotting fluff

After eating dinner, Chris and I move to the living room, keeping up the idle chat. We talk about everything, small things, things that would normally make me want to pull my hair out, but with him I don’t even notice it.

He talks about being on set with some of his best friends, how the cast have become like a big family after doing so many of these movies, and how weird he feels being labeled as a “ladies man” in the press -- and of course, how his friends (particularly Robert) play into it during interviews just to get him riled up.

I tell him more about my mundane job, ranting a little about some of the obscure things my boss asks me to do, and a couple of times I catch an uneasy look cross Chris’s features that I try to ignore. I tell him more about Camile and Jack, confessing to him that before Camile met Jack, I really did think soulmates were a complete myth and that I’d never find mine. I tell him about how I didn’t know I missed the dog I had as a kid until today when I met Dodger, who is currently asleep in my lap.

“I don’t know what he’s going to do tomorrow while you’re at work,” Chris chuckles, reaching over to scratch Dodger behind his ears.

“I hope you’ll be here with him,” I tease, but this is my sly way of wondering if he’ll be on set.

“Oh, I will,” he breathes. “The weather stalled filming so I’m staying in.”

I nod slowly, focusing again on Dodger’s steady breathing while speaking to Chris. “Does it ever get to be too much?”

“What?”

“The fame,” I clarify. “I mean, Camile wanted me to look at the news when I told her how you were on house arrest. Isn’t it weird that people can just...Google you and know what’s going on?”

“It is weird,” he admits. “But most of the stuff they write isn’t true. I keep my personal life pretty private for that reason. Shit gets twisted in the media really fast.”

I steal a glance out of the corner of my eyes, seeing that he’s just staring down at his hands. “I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head. “It comes with the job. And I can’t complain, I love what I do, I really do.”

“You’re still allowed to complain,” I chuckle, petting Dodger softly. “Just because you love it doesn’t mean some things about it can’t irritate you.”

“I just feel like an asshole if I complain.”

“Well, you can complain to me,” I shrug. “I know you love it. But I also know I wouldn’t exactly love it if I couldn’t go outside because everyone’s watching.”

“Yeah…” His voice fades away. “Would you wanna stay to watch a movie?”

I look at the clock, seeing that it’s nearing nine. I sigh, giving him an apologetic look. “I’d love to, but I really shouldn’t.”

“It’s okay, I know you have to work,” he smiles. “I just wanted to ask.”

“How about a raincheck?”

His smile turns into a grin within a second. “Dinner tomorrow? And then a movie?”

“Deal,” I nod, sticking my hand out to shake on it. I’m not entirely sure why I’ve done that, but Chris erases my embarrassment by shaking my hand.

I let out a bit of nervous laughter as Chris moves Dodger off my lap, waking the small puppy up in the process, earning Chris a glare. He scoffs, tossing Dodger his favorite toy, and just like that, he’s happy again.

“Here you go,” Chris hands me my purse, which is good because I honestly might’ve forgotten it if he hadn’t.

“Thank you,” I smile, pulling the strap over my shoulder. “Same time tomorrow?”

“If that works for you,” Chris nods in agreement, walking with me (very slowly, might I add) to his door. “Any preferences on the movie?”

“What about Captain America?” I tease.

Chris gives me a look.

“I’m kidding, I promise,” I shove his arm lightly. “I get it. It’d probably be way too weird.”

“It would,” he shrugs. “But if you really want to watch it…”

“Chris,” I shake my head. “You really are way too kind for your own good.”

“Thank you?” He furrows his eyebrows, opening his door.

“You’re welcome,” I reply, watching in surprise as he follows me out into the hallway. I raise my eyebrows. “You live here.”

“That I do,” he laughs, shoving his hands in his pockets. “But what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t walk a lady to her door?”

“And here I thought chivalry was dead,” I snicker, walking down the hall to the elevator, biting back a grin the entire time.

He presses the down arrow and steps back, waiting. “Chivalry will never be dead. Not if I can help it.”

“Are you going to single-handedly revive the practice?” I ask.

“Maybe,” he teases back, looking over at me with a grin. It takes everything in me to pretend I don’t see him out of the corner of my eyes. And it’s especially harder when I see his smile soften, his eyes still lingering on my face.

The elevator doors open, both of us stepping inside and standing awkwardly away from each other. It’s like we’ve been dancing around each other all night. Which could, in part, be my fault because I am… Well, I can probably be a little off-putting at times. I’ve always got a guard up, I can’t help it. So if he’s acting distant, it’s my doing.

Chris keeps his promise and walks me all the way to my door. If it wasn’t so late, if I didn’t have work tomorrow, if I didn’t have such a wall up inside my mind, I probably would let him inside.

But I don’t.

He asks again if he can hug me, and once again I say he can.

I wrap my arms around his neck this time, loving the way his fit around my waist, and the way I feel like I’m floating when he gently lifts me up as he squeezes me tightly.

I knew-- Or I heard stories from Camile, at least, that hugging your soulmate -- touching them in general -- feels much different, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the overwhelming feeling of home I get when I’m in his arms.

And he’s only hugged me twice now. Does it get better than this? Does it get worse?

+++

The next day at work passes slowly. I find myself wanting to text Chris -- or really, just to talk with him, and it’s then that I realize we have yet to exchange phone numbers.

The mere thought of wanting to be on my phone to text my soulmate while I’m at work is as thrilling as it is terrifying. I’m never on my phone; it’s a rule. I’m also just too busy. I’m busy today, too, and yet my mind keeps wandering to Chris. The blue eyes, the blinding smile, the melodic laughter.

The laughter that I haven’t heard much of today.

The thought makes me frown. I wonder what he’s up to. He’s always laughing. It’s rare that there’s a quiet day like this. But I know I’ve also been quiet because I’m at work, and because my boss has been in a particularly bad mood today.

“Eva!”

Speak of the devil himself, and he shall call out to you.

+++

Chris has been worrying all day.

Well, not all day, but a significant part of the day. He tries not to, wondering if Eva can feel the way he is worrying. He’s heard stories -- his parents specifically -- of soulmates being able to feel each others emotions, outside of the joy that comes from laughter. He wonders if it’s a hereditary thing -- if since his parents could sense other emotions, that he and Eva will be able to do that, too.

Which, of course, only sends Chris down a further hole, wondering if she’s felt all of his previous heartaches. And he wonders then, too, if that’s why he would often find himself feeling down out of nowhere -- because she’s told him some things about her troubled past.

And that’s the thing: Eva has told her about her rough past. She told him the way her parents would scream, but he could tell there was more to the story that she wasn’t ready to share just yet -- but he got the gist.

Chris understood the point of her telling him this. To explain why she hid herself away, why she avoided anything to possibly help her meet her soulmate sooner, why she was convinced that there wasn’t a soulmate out there for her.

She’s already had a hard life. He doesn’t want to make it harder.

But he knows he will. He’s famous. He hates using that term, but it’s true. He is, whether he likes it or not, and it’s baggage he carries around. He just doesn’t know if he wants her to have the burden of this baggage, too. She doesn’t need it.

But Chris has heard horror stories about soulmates who try to fight back against their biology. Who try to distance themselves for the better -- or for what they think is better. And every single time, they never make it. Death, in some cases, is a possibility, caused by a severe depression spurred by the loneliness and longing. Other times, in most cases, the couple finds their way back to each other and they make it work. They realize in the end that while it will be hard, it can be done, and they’re much more willing to put in the work than they are to risk a life without their soulmate.

Chris has always liked the second ending. He doesn’t know that he’d ever be able to spend a day without her now, and he’s only known her two days. With that thought already in his mind now after forty-eight hours, Chris knows distancing himself from her won’t work. He’ll cave way too easily, and he can’t do that to her -- abandon her like that. What message would that send her?

He’ll just have to stop thinking so far ahead. And he’ll have to let things happen how they’re supposed to happen. Naturally, organically.

They can cross the bridge of the rest of the world knowing about them when the time comes. Whenever that may be, but not soon, not in the near future.

Chris wants to keep her to himself for right now. For as long as he can. He wants to love her before letting the rest of the world in.

Chris’s eyes widen. Does he love Eva already? It’s not unheard of for soulmates to feel that instant connection. He’s positive she doesn’t feel it, but he doesn’t expect her to. If he’s honest, he’s surprised she was the one to suggest a raincheck for a movie -- but he’s so glad she did.

He misses her. He started missing her on the elevator after he walked her to her room. And he’s missed her since.

He loves her. Already. He doesn’t know what it is, but he can feel it. The same way his dad said he felt when he met Chris’s mom. Chris feels it now. He understands.

And he can’t wipe the smile off his face.

#Chris Evans #chris evans x original female character #chris evans x ofc #chris evans soulmate #soulmates #soulmate au #soulmate story #fluff #teeth rotting fluff

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thealternateuniverse · 4 years

Text

Paradise City (Axl Rose) PART 2

WARNINGS: Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll (kidding) Language too.

"I told you ladies to expect visitors."

All of us groaned in frustration. "Yeah, and saw me naked."

I protested, cause Axl saw me like I'm waiting for him to fuck me, their encounter isn't horrible as mine.

All their heads turn to me.

"Okay girls, listen they won't be here for long I suggest you deal with them and talk to them about the ....well arrangement. They are harmless."

We all shook our heads.

"I can't believe this is happening."

I mumbled hopeless, there is no way I am dealing with Axl Rose.

"Beta I don't even know the guy." Katherine said shyly, I wonder who she end up with in her place.

"Seriously this is not funny and we are not some reality show women." It was Wesley who speak.

"Please bear them just for tonight. We'll talk about this tomorrow."

All of us sighed in exhasperation, what a great way to start the vacation.

The next morning is normal. When I got back last night Axl wasn't there anymore and one of my underwear is missing too ew that was nasty of him if he took it.

I don't know how the girls' night went. I haven't seen the Guns n Roses but I'm thankful we don't have to deal with them today.

Susan and I decided to have a dip in the beach and soak under the sun. Others have their own excuses, Aimee is on her period, Kath is taking a nap (she didn't get some sleep last night I guess?) and Wesley is doing her stuff.

"Are you kidding me?!" I groaned when I saw the five of them doing dumb things in the beach. I thought they were gone?

"Err- let's just not mind them." Susan said. We settle ourselves in one of the recliners and enjoyed the sun.

"How was your night?" I ask Susan. She seems okay unlike us. "It's fine, Duff was a gentleman. He slept on the couch then he's gone by morning."

So her villa is supposed to be Duff's?

"You know I really don't understand this ridicule, why are we even here?"

I just don't get it why are we in an island with Guns n Roses? It's like dealing with the wild, lucky Susan she don't have to deal with Duff.

"I guess we just have to go with the flow. They seem nice." Susan grinned. Wait....

"Oh you like Duff huh." I teased and Susan blushes. "No I'm not, I think he likes Katherine."

Who wouldn't like Katherine? She is sweet, soft spoken and beautiful.

"Well these men are ......wild." Of course I knew them and their reputation. I bumped into them many times, being a roadie has it's perks you know and I happen to use it for my adoration towards Sebastian Bach. God the guy is pretty and I think I'm in-love whenever I see him. We had interactions because he's friends with the Crüe and I think I'm a lucky bitch.

"I don't think so. They look like they can be tamed." Oh Susan if you only knew.

Slash and Steven saw me and they went to our direction. Well they are the only two who aren't assholes and Duff also. Izzy is civil and Axl is......Axl.

"Charlie... you're here." Steven acknowledges but his eyes are on Susan.

"And you have a friend." Same with Slash who has his eyes on Susan's......bust. I throw them my water bottle.

"Hey fuckers eyes up here."

Scratching their heads they turn their attention to me. Perverts.

"Okay Susan, this is Slash and this is Steven. Slash, Steven this is Susan." Susan extended her arm to shake hands with the two.

"Nice to meet you guys." Susan smiled at them, Steve blushes while Slash scratches his head.

"Do you have any idea why we're here? Are you with this too?" I ask the two of them. The two look at each other and Steven answered me.

"No, I wasn't expecting company either. "

I guess we are all in the same page.

"If I were you, I'll just enjoy. Exclusive vacation with 5 hot guys? Life is good." Slash proudly said and Susan and I laughs.

"Come on girls why don't you join us? Let's have some walk shall we?"

I got up from the recliner seat. Su and I are wearing a two piece string bikini and I covered it with some see through.

"Uhh I think I'm fine here. You go ahead guys."

Steven and Slash shrugs off. "Bummer."

We left Susan and we take a walk in the beach.

"I feel like anytime soon Vince will come and take our heads."

I took off my aviators and laugh at what Slash said.

"Let's not talk about that blonde bitch."

Doesn't mean there is a feud between Axl and Vince I won't be friends with other members. Motley Crüe is more handful than them and GnR are sober when they want to.

"Speaking of blonde..." Steven grins and the two of them looks at Susan's direction.

"Oh, not Susan. I think her and Duff is way better." Both of them frowned. It's true though that Susan and Duff will be a cute pair.

"Bummer Charlie. It's just a crush, I think you and Axl will be a good pair after that sex ta---" Steven didn't finish off his sentence when Slash elbowed him on the stomach.

"I'm sorry what?" Steven cleared his throat. "You and Axl will make a good pair too. Just don't kill each other."

They both laugh at me when I scowled. They keep on teasing me with Axl over the duration of our walk and I'm starting to get pissed off.

"Come on Charlie, Axl isn't that bad especially in bed. Do you know what you need?" I suppose to ask him what but Slash had me already on his shoulders carrying me like a sack and I started to scream.

"FUCK YOU SLASH! PUT ME DOWN!" Steven being a great help at all just stood there and laugh. I screamed even more when Slash started running and throw me to the water.

"FUCK YOU SLASH!"

I rose from the water, stupid move because a I was hit by a big wave making me stumble and fell to the water again. That didn't end there because my bikini top is gone.

Steve and Slash are still laughing at me. God I wanna drown them in the water right now and why did I wear string bikinis? The riskiest piece of clothing when you are in beach.

"Yow Charlie you okay?"

I wrap my arms around myself, I don't know how to rose from the water without any top. I won't walk around exposing my tits to these guys.

I blush at the thought.

"S-Slash....Can you help me?"

My body is still in the water and I'm starting to feel cold.

"Nope. You can't make us go in the water, I know you will drown me."

I want to kick him right now, he throws me in to the water, I lost my bikini top, now I don't know how can I get out of here with decency. Susan is nowhere in sight.

"Damn it. My bikini top is gone can you help me get out of the water atleast?" That made them shut up, Steven blushed and Slash's mouth formed into an 'o'.

"W-well I'll just get my shirt."

Slash ran to their cottage and took his shirt, he went into the water and hannded it to me.

When I was done wearing his shirt I pulled him and pushed him under water.

"You idiot that was White Fox!"

Slash gasp for air when he rose. I left him there fighting for his life.

"Sorry. I'll buy you hundreds of bikinis and lingerie Charlie! Just don't drown me again." He said without any remorse.

I flip him off and walk towards my place. I need to rinse cause the salt water feels sticky all over my body.

Axl Rose is being bitchy. I don't know what got into him but I guess its just his mood swings. He has anger management issues.

"What?" His deep voice filled the thick air. He caught me staring at him.

"Nothing." I avoided his gaze and laid down on bed.

"Can you fucking move over?"

Is he serious? He could've ask nicely.

"What the fuck is your problem Rose?" I move over just like what he asked. Axl lay down next to me his forearm covering his eye.

"Not your business." He answered.

Okay, maybe he and his girlfriend had a fight.

"Wharton."

"Hmm?"

He scooted closer which caught me off guard.

His hand landed on my waist and nuzzle his head on my neck.

"What are you doing Rose?"

I tried to remove his hand but he only tightened his grip.

"Sleep Charlie."

That was the first time he addresed me in my first name.

I woke up and Axl is gone beside me. It's 7 already and I'll be missing dinner.

When I got to the common room, everyone is there already, including the guys. It's weird to see them interacting when we want to get rid of them just yesterday. Wesley and Izzy are talking, Susan and Duff is at their own little world, Kathy and Steve are both laughing probably from Steven's corny jokes, and Aimee just sat there quietly watching them. Slash and Axl are talking and by the looks of it Slash is either high or drunk because he is leaning his head on the couch with his glasses on.

I sat down beside Slash and lean my head on his shoulder. I wanted to sleep more but I'm hungry.

By the looks of it, everyone already ate dinner because of the leftovers.

"Here." Axl gave me a plate with foods.

"You were asleep so I reserved some for you."

I smiled at him, not the sarcastic one but genuine and muttered thanks.

He nodded and I started to munch the food.

I noticed some bottles of Corona ans Jack, I guess they had been drinking.

After I finish eating my food, we went to the recreation room and everyone started to play billiards, more like Wesley, Aimee, Izzy, Steven and Kath.

"Not having fun Wharton?"

Slash sat beside me on the couch he already took off his glasses.

"I just wanted to sleep." I snuggled closer and lean my head on his shoulder.

He offered me his glass of Jack which I accepted.

"Bummer. You know Axl is sending me daggers."

I turned my head to Axl's direction and he is glaring at Slash.

"He thinks I'm trying to get in your pants." I nearly choke. Why is he bothered though?

"So? What is it to him?"

Slash scoffed. "Come on, that red head likes you. He just can't get closer to you because of Vince. You don't remember what happened in MTV awards don't you?"

I can't recall what happened during that time cause I was drunk all I know is that they caused riot in the event.

Then I remember Slash is high at the moment, maybe he is just blabbering rubbish.

"You're high aren't you?" I look directly into his eyes and his pupils are dilated. Gosh he and Steven had a line of cocaine.

"No I'm not." Slash threw his arms drunkenly around me.

"Yeah, only if they had some weed here."

Drugs aren't new to me, for Mötley Crue it's their candy and I've tried it only to end up in an overdose. I'm clean now though, weed works for me.

"I swear. Axl is going to kill me anytime."

Slash hid behind me from Axl's glare and I glared at him back but he only rolled his eyes. Asshat.

"I think I'll play with the girls so he won't be sending dagger looks to you."

Slash nodded and I went to the girls and participated at their game.

We played pool and the Jack is finally hitting our systems.

Steven is high and drunk, Kath is passed out beside him, Susan stood on the pool table, dancing while Duff is trying to get her down. Wesley and I are laughing with Izzy and Aimee is just silently listening to us. Axl is now beside Slash and the two seems drunk also.

We stopped when Axl and Slash started to brawl against each other.

"Fuck off Slash."

Axl already had Slash slammed on the wall. Slash who is high among the two only smirked which pissed the latter even more.

"Axl, back off." Duff tried to pull him away from Slash but Axl shrugs him off.

All of us are drunk and its not a good idea if drunken people fight.

"Why don't you tell her Ax?"

Axl's jaw clenched stopping himself from punching Slash.

"I told you Slash fuck off."

He answered through gritted teeth. Everyone seemed sobered up when they heard the two fighting.

"Told what Axl?" Izzy asks with confusion.

"Told Charlie about the sex----"

Slash didn't finish off his sentence because Axl's fist landed on his face.

"Oh my god!" The girls gasped.

Duff and Izzy pulled away Axl before he could throw a punch again.

"Axl!" I stood in front of Axl and stared directly into his green orbs.

"Tell me what Axl?"

Axl didn't seem to hear me and is trying to get off from Izzy and Duff's grasp.

"Get out of the fucking way Charlie."

I didn't listen to Axl, instead I moved closer to him my eyes never left his.

"Axl...." I cupped his face.

"Axl calm down....." I spoke in a soft tone hoping he will calm down.

"Look at me......" Axl listened to me and calms himself. He got off from Izzy and Duff and stormed out of the room.

I went to Slash to check if he's okay. "Are you okay Slash?" Wesley is attending him now with an ice pack. Where did she get that?

"You really need to talk to him Charlie." I nodded at him and followed Axl outside.

Axl is walking towards our villa and half run to keep up with him.

"Axl....."

He didn't turn around and fasten his pace.

"Axl, wait!"

"Fuck! Not now Charlie!" He yelled and I stop on my tracks.

"Really? Not now?! After you almost beat each Slash?"

Axl stopped on his tracks too and he turn around, eyes filled with anger.

"You don't know a thing."

"Then tell me what the fuck are you two fighting about?!" I'm getting impatient and done of Axl's attitude too. I don't know what is with him but everytime we see each other it's always bickering and insulting each other.

"Because of that fucking sex tape!"

And what's about the sex tape?

"And why am I involved?!"

We are yelling at each each other, our distance isn't that far but I'm getting fruatrated so he is.

"It's our fucking sex tape Charlie, it's out and everywhere. That's why Vince wanted to kill me even more."

This is the sickest joke I've heard. He is kidding right?!

"W-what the fuck? Are you high too like Slash?"

I wanted him to say yes but..

"Am not! Remember the MTV riot? It's because Vince found out we hooked up and he thought I am using you to get even with him. When in fact I was also drunk as you are that time."

I feel like I'm in some prank show but I'm not, I hope this is just me and the alcohol.

"And why is there a sex tape?"

If he is also drunk that time then how the hell it was recorded?

"I don't have any idea. It's out in the public that's why Vince sent you here."

I laugh. I don't know why did I laugh but fuck it my life rotated 360 just now.

"I'm sorry, Charlie I should've told y---" Axl attempted to move towards me but I stop him.

"Stop, don't be fucking anywhere near me."

I ran to the villa leaving Axl, tears streaming down my face.

I am mad at Axl right now but I'm even more mad at Vince. He did not let me decide and took control of my life. What is it to him if Axl and I hooked up? I wasn't even aware that we hooked up and now I am involve in a scandal. I can handle myself, I know Axl too because he is used to issues but what made Vince think to hide me here?

"Charlie.. open the door please." He knocks into my room. Technically his room but whatever. It's not even locked.

"I know you're mad but please let's talk...."

He's calmer now than he is 15 minutes ago, I can't help but roll my eyes.

I wipe my tears when he opened the door. I didn't spare him any glance when he entered the room, my back is facing him when he sat on the bed.

"I'm sorry. We're doing everything now to take it down."

He sighed.

I continue wiping my tears that won't stop.

"And I understand if you're mad. I'm really sorry Charlie."

Not to be sarcastic but wow. Axl Rose said sorry and shit is real because he is beside me.

I am not mad at him to Vince either even though I was earlier, it's just that I am upset because something is happening with my life, I know Vince is just trying to protect me but I can handle myself. This issue will die down sooner or later when another band got into a fight or something, it must be also tough for Axl because it involves Vince the two was never okay ever since.

I got up from bed and face him.

"The world probably saw my tits now, and my cellulites and my stretch marks. I think my mascara was even smudge during that time amd my lipstick is everywhere."

It's a silly remark but I don't want Axl to feel bad about himself more.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm just upset." I bit my lip and look away. God I hate crying.

Axl leaned forward and wipe my tears.

"Don't cry. I feel even more bad."

"How did Vince found out that...err-you know... 👉👌"

I felt blush crept into my cheek.

I wanted to remember how we fucked that night. Duh, Axl has a reputation for being good in bed.

"I don't know how we got there but he found us in Nikki's hotel room and that's when shit started."

I'm still puzzled why Vince sent me here when he knew that this is GnR's turf?

"Then why sent me here? I guess he is not dumb enough yet?"

I giggled thinking of Vince's stupidity.

"We saw the tape already before it went public. Someone mailed it to Nikki and Slash. Vince even stormed in our studio and threw some punch at me after. I didn't fought back and swore to him I don't know anything about it. He took the copy from me and burned it, we thought it stopped there but the next day it's on tabloids already."

I covered myself in embarassment. My cousin, Nikki, Tommy and Mick had watch us fucking. Even Slash and I don't know who else in GnR. I won't be able to look at them straight now.

"Did you---have you watch it too?"

And I am embarassing myself more by asking him.

"Yeah and it was-----" he gulped. Probably uncomfortable talking about it.

"I didn't knew you were.........insatiable."

I plopped down to bed and covered my face with a pillow.

It was obvious I took control that nght.

"Kill me now." I mumbled and Axl laughs. He didn't help at all.

"Sorry. I've put you to this. Your life is peaceful and now..."

"Come here."

I patted the space beside me and he obliged by lying beside.

"Shit happens and it will be gone soon." I said hoping it will assure him that it's not just his fault because we were both responsible for what happened.

"But still everyone saw you naked already. "

I slap his arm. "Don't remind me Rose."

"God how I wanted to kill everyone. Including Slash."

Again, why is he so hard with Slash?

Hmm?

"Why are you so mean to Slash? And speaking of... you punched him."

Being the sass he is, he rolled his eyes.

"He saw the video and you were having too much fun it bothers me."

I gasped. Axl Rose how is he bothered? Unless...

"Are you jealous?"

Axl leaned forward until our faces are only inch apart.

"What the fuck do you think?"

Oh my god.

"Hmm. Try harder Rose.."

"Sleep Wharton."

I couldn't help but smile. I like Axl, who wouldn't? even before if only he wasn't acting like an ass.

"Sleep baby. We'll have a date tomorrow."

He kisses my forehead. I snuggled to him and his hands landed on my waist.

"Nice try Rose."

One thing is for sure. I am loving the Paradise Island.

#guns n roses fanfiction #fanfiction #axl rose #axl rose x female #axl rose gnr #axl rose redhead #axl rose fanfiction #slash #saulhudson #duff mckagan #motley crue #izzy stradlin #steven adler #guns n roses #guns n roses x female #gnr

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chocolate-cream-soldier · 2 years

Note

Hi! I don’t know if you take asks but just in case.

I’m curious about your view on gentleman jack s02, and why you find it wasn’t as good as s01, and why you find it inconsistent : is it in comparison to what AL wrote in her diaries or just a general vibe of watching the show? Also, what do you find is inconsistent?

I hope you don’t find my question to be annoying, I’m curious because I don’t necessarily watch TV shows and analyse them, especially queer content (I’m just happy it exists).

Thanks!

Hi! I’m the anon who asked why you thought the 2nd season was inconsistent; saw your lasted reblog. Thanks for the beginning of that answer and take your time for the rest! If anything it’s making me more interested in your point of view, so thank you for taking the time to answer me. Cheers!

I apologize for taking a while before answering you, because I too anon don't do TV show analysis anymore, whatever I feel, I usually tag rant about it and reblog stuff from people who are better equipped and far more eloquent at breaking down and analysing scenes and episodes. I will have a go at it I guess since you asked and I do want to actually try and figure out what exactly kept bothering me through out this season.(it’s long and rambly so rest is under the cut)

I will not go episode by episode cause I am not up for a rewatch of s2. I did rewatch s1 but not recently so it's not exactly fresh in my mind but I do feel I have a good grasp on it because I did watch it several times after it aired, I was absolutely enthralled with Season 1. I feel It was beautifully written and masterfully executed and that's why I got instantly attached to the show and the characters. So whatever I speak off in this reply please understand I do have my biases and I am not doing an objective analysis . I am just giving my opinion.

Season 2 was very different from Season 1 and not in a good way tbh, at least for me. Personally I felt the pacing of this season to be very jarring. And that's a general vibe and not because of the diaries, because to be honest I have not deleved much in the source material myself, I have read the transcribed works in parts and have listened to talks from both the show's creator and crew and people who have done research on AL, but that's like a second hand account therefore obviously those are essentially interpretations and how someone reads it might differ from how I would interpret it if I was directly interacting with the source material. For me the show is the source material with which I've directly interacted right…so I am solely trying to focus on the show and the storylines that gets explored by it.

So when I speak of inconsistency, it's obviously not just one thing, the inconsistency was there in the way the show was scripted for this season, the way it was directed , the editing, all of it just felt off. I have read some analysis from iredreamer and natglee and they both nailed it and I've reblogged those posts they are under my gj meta tag if you want to give those a read.

But borrowing their sentiments let's talk about the storylines first- I too didn't like the dry, clinical approach that they took this season. We see the characters talking about things but they don't really take any actions to resolve that. It's like a pressure cooker situation you know. There's build up with no pay off. Also because they don't expand on certain aspects ,be it the social hierarchy or the political opinions or the personal worldviews of the characters, most of the time you draw only negative inference.

I am going to use a food analogy cause that's what came to mind while I tried analysing it. So you have all these ingredients, now it needs to be properly measured and added together in a cohesive manner, marinated and rested before you can cook so as to have tasty food otherwise it will taste bland. This happened with the show, a multitude of things were brought up, be it the individual character insecurities, the social constraints, the obvious homophobia and the ostracization that follows, the class discrimination, add to that the central relationship between Anne and Ann also was fraught with so many issues that of financial and familial legacy, desire for children and needing it to solidfy a marriage(contextually), Anne's fear of the relationship falling apart in absence of it, Anne's infidelity, Ann's constant struggle with depression and anxiety compounded by internalized homophobia, and general sense of feeling powerless in face of a overbearing family.

So many threads and none got the breathing space or the nuanced exploration that they deserved. And it's baffling to me cause season 1 explored heavy topics and did it so well, it never felt like a cliff's note version, we were allowed to experience and empathize with the characters. That's what made them believeable and relatable despite it being a period drama(and in my case even geographically it's removed from my experience and yet it was relatable!)

Also the amount of dropped plotliness makes you feel like wtf was the point of wasting time on them if nothing was to come out of it?the Sowden storyline(well no complaints there but still!), The kids accidentally witnessing the Ann(e)s being intimate, The Priestley's appearance….that one random dude threatening Anne Lister during the townhall!!!?! Umm what is happening here!

Also storywise there was a lot of rehash of the same topics that we already saw them discuss in season 1 . One might say, well it's because of the influence of the diaries, but at the end of the day this is still a TV show and the narrative needs to move forward, going round and round doesn't really help in engaging me as the audience.

Also the chronology was confusing! I noticed it mostly in episode 6 where Ann speaks of not wanting to go back to that shop where she felt humiliated, but that incident happened actually in episode 7 instead. And even in episode 8 the entire emotinal back and forth between them felt weirdly off!

SJ said in an interview, I am paraphrasing here,- this season is about seeing Anne learning to love in a different way and we will fall in love with Ann Walker as she does too-(I am in love with Ann Walker from day 1 so let's put that aside) but for the characters did it really happen that way?I don't even know. It all was left quite ambiguous …atleast that's what it seemed to me(even tho I don't know why we need to explore the did she love her or not aspect cause season 1 already happened…she can have doubts about it, but from the get go going on and on about whether she is just fond of her or whether she is actually in love…my gods what is going on here?!)

I mean all through this season in almost all of their intimate scenes(barring a couple) the conversation was so weird, was it a way to show how incompatible they are or something?! what is happening?

I mean it started off well, the first fight they had in s2 and the following conversation felt genuine and touching to me and you see that they are communicating and trying to be open about their issues and not bottling it up but it stopped happening as we moved forward into the season. I don't know what was the catalyst for that…maybe it deteriorated after Anne's infidelity? I can't quite remember but yeah even if that's the case what I am trying to say is that in the finale it all doesn't come to head and yet they somehow reconciled…like they are telling me that they understand and accept each other with big fancy dialogues, but there's not much happening onscreen to support that resolution. Cause firstly it took almost 8 episodes for Ann Walker to finally confront Anne Lister and that too she deflected! And now suddenly Ann is back to being ok with it all?! what is HAPPENING?

Another thing that confused and irked me, the conversation of not having a child and Anne's declaration of them and their relationship mattering irrespective of that and it shouldn't have to hinge upon a piece of paper or a having a child to make it legitimate and yet in the finale apparently she has definitely changed her mind about it all so much so that she says as such to Vere, who is (much like me) so taken aback by what Anne's saying that it’s mindboggling! again WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

I seriously failed to grasp the motivations behind the characters and their actions in these regards. where is the exploration to show me how the characters are dealing with difficult situations and coming to their inferences whatever it might be, it’s not that the actors are not capable of pulling off those performances or that writing cannot accomodate for that, cause they did it fine in S1... instead of just telling me! Isn't that suppose to be the advantage of the visual medium?!

I know the storybeats already and if I want to know more I can read up on the transcribed works if need be. What I wanted from the show was an exploration of those issues, of how they dealt with it, how it impacted them! Am I asking for too much? I don't think so!

The direction and editing too was off putting to me. We lost the intimate gaze, before the camera never felt like an intrusion, rather it felt like Anne's way of communicating and sharing her experiences, we were a part of the journey, not just mere observers. But now it feels voyeuristic again(like in most other shows). it's so harsh and removed and frankly sterile. Not something I would’ve expected coming right from season 1 and I don't believe in that class of thought where hard hitting reality needs to be depicted through these kind of detached direction/editing . Then they would not have managed to tackle issues of blatant homophobia, sexual abuse, physical assaults, mental illness etc. in season 1. But they did and it never felt like exploitation for the sake of drama.

At this point I am just disappointed, the more I try to analyse it, the more visible are the discrepancies and shortcomings in this season. It's very hard for me to criticize this show because it brought a lot of value to me, both personally and creatively.

I understand the difficult situations in which this season was made. I am in no way trying to demean people's hardwork. I myself work in the entertainment industry and when people criticizes the amount of hard work one puts into making a project like this it feels disheartening but at the same time we do read up on reviews and criticisms so that we can follow through and deliver quality content to the people. And I am not saying Season 2 was bad TV or anything, it was just not upto my expectations and if they get renewed I would hope that the coming seasons would fare better with their exploration and execution(fingers crossed).

Sorry if it’s confusing as I did went off on tangents and basically it’s a rant, so it might still lack clarity, anon. But maybe I am able to atleast address some of it and I hope you get some understanding as to where I am coming from, thanks for being so patient with me.

#reply #anonymous #raee rambles about gj #gj meta #kind of not really #this is me ranting #sorry for the stream of consciousness kind of reply #it's just a wall of text #who has time to read this #yikes #but I managed to finally string some words after 84 years so hey ho #:P

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hetaces · 5 years

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@whatsnew-lgbtq‘s 31 days of pride day 9!! i know I haven’t been doing ‘em all but that’s okay.

day 9: books

so books are my area of expertise honestly so I picked a few favorites to talk about a lil bit here (I’ll put it under a cut).

And feel free to ask me about more books because I’m Like That.

These are all ownvoices in at least one way. Ownvoices rep will be italicized in the list.

Highly Illogical Behavior by John Corey Whaley When you hear what this book is about, it sounds really bad. Like “Girl decides to ‘fix’ agoraphobic gay boy and her boyfriend gets ~close~ with him” is essentially what the synopsis says. It sets it up for every bad trope. And then uses none of them. It’s so good, has great portrayal of good accommodations, healthy friendship, and a bunch of Star Trek references. Representation: Sol is gay and agoraphobic

Heart of Iron by Ashley Poston Don’t look up the synopsis yourself, go right to goodreads (i’d link but you know how tumblr is with links), some of the synopses that come up automatically start with a “it’s like [story] in space” and it’s a spoiler. I’ll put the first part of it here bc it’s hard to get the words. Seventeen-year-old Ana is a scoundrel by nurture and an outlaw by nature. Found as a child drifting through space with a sentient android called D09, Ana was saved by a fearsome space captain and the grizzled crew she now calls family. But D09—one of the last remaining illegal Metals—has been glitching, and Ana will stop at nothing to find a way to fix him. Representation: Ana is written as acespec (not Super clear but it was the intent) Captain Siege is a lesbian. Telle is a lesbian. Robb is gay. Jax is gay.

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee So, there’s a lot of hype around Gentleman’s Guide and I was sort of expecting to be let down, but it more than lived up to it. Henry "Monty" Montague is going on his Tour of the continent (travel around Europe and have fun one last time, is the idea). Chaotic disaster bisexual Monty causes trouble, of course. So then on the way to dropping his sister off at finishing school before returning home early, they get attacked. Because Monty is a dumbass (it’s actually his fault). Cue rich kids travelling with no money & trying to avoid a growing number of people. Mackenzi Lee has hit the nail on the head with growth. Not only does she get that sometimes, growth does happen because of one moment of learning, she also writes it well, which is a really difficult thing to write. There’s a lot of heavy stuff in it, but none of it was thrown in for no reason, it’s actually important to the books and to the characters. Representation: Monty is bi, has PTSD, and (at the end of the first book, so spoilers) deaf on one side Percy is mixed, mlm, and (you find out part way through so if you’re picky about it it could be spoilers), epileptic. Felicity is aroace. Many other characters who aren’t white and a wlw character in the second book.

I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver After Ben comes out to their parents, things don’t exactly go well. They get kicked out, and have to go live with their sister who they haven’t seen in 10 years. They start over at a new school, only out to their sister, her husband, and their therapist (because hey, look how well coming out went last time). This book is so damn cute. And a book with a nonbinary main character! Representation: Ben is nonbinary Nathan is bisexual and black

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire Think Narnia, but with more worlds and less religion and you've got the concept of the doorways. Children have always been disappearing - going through a door that's appeared to them. But magic worlds rarely have use for used up miracle children. So they're sent back. But they don't come back the same. The children at Elanor West's Home for Wayward Children have all tumbled once. And they all want to get back. But with Nancy's arrival, things start going wrong. Representation: Nancy is asexual Jack is pan and has OCD Kade is a trans guy Sumi is bi (Seanan McGuire is a queer cis woman)

You Asked for Perfect by Laura Silverman Ariel Stone is a perfect student: he’s a community volunteer, first chair violin, and is on track to be valedictorian. And then he fails a calc test. When he finds he can’t fix it himself, he reluctantly gets a tutor. And he may not like calc, but he might like Amir. I started recommending this book to people when I was 5 pages into it. Ariel is so explicitly Jewish that Laura Silverman put her grandmother’s matzo ball soup recipe in the back because it’s not fair to rave about it so much and not provide a recipe. He’s explicitly bisexual by page 8. Amir and Sook’s eyes are both described as “warm” and I honestly think it’s the first time I’ve seen characters of color’s eyes described as anything but “dark”. Representation: Ariel is bisexual and Jewish Amir is a gay Pakistani Muslim Sook is a chubby Korean lesbian

The Past and Other Things That Should Stay Buried by Shaun David Hutchinson Shaun is back with more “so... the world might be ending?” and I absolutely love it. Dino’s ex-best-friend July died suddenly 4 days ago, and his family runs the funeral home. Dino is touching up July’s makeup (he knows how she wore it and everyone was doing it wrong), and she wakes up. But she’s not exactly... alive. She’s just not-dead. And then... other people just stop dying. So they have to figure out what’s happening. How July came back - or at least how to re-kill her when nobody can die. So not only is it a super interesting book, it’s also like... Shaun goes in on topics like “gay people making gay jokes and straight people making gay jokes are different” and “a cis guy might (might) not mind if you call him a girl, but do not call a trans guy a girl” Also I recommend anything by Shaun David Hutchinson. Representation: Dino is gay Rafi is trans, mlm, and mixed (white/Pakistani) Multiple LGBTQ+ minor characters

On The Edge of Gone by Corinne Duyvis It’s an end-of-the-world type book (via comet strike). Due to strange circumstances, Denise and her mother end up not at their government assigned shelter, but on a generation ship. And Denise has just a few days to find her sister and prove that her skills are worth 3 spots on a ship with limited resources. Representation: Denise is mixed (Surinamese/white) and autistic Iris is mixed (Surinamese/white) and a bi trans woman. Els is wlw. Leyla is wlw. Samira and Nordin are Muslim Some minor characters.

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman I’m just gonna give y’all the actual synopsis this time

You probably think that Aled Last and I are going to fall in love or something. Since he is a boy and I am a girl. I just wanted to say—we don’t. Frances Janvier spends most of her time studying. When she’s not studying, she’s up in her room making fan art for her favorite podcast, Universe City. Everyone knows Aled Last as that quiet boy who gets straight As. But no one knows he’s the creator of Universe City, who goes by the name Radio Silence. When Frances gets a message from Radio Silence asking if she’ll collaborate with him, everything changes. Frances and Aled spend an entire summer working together and becoming best friends. They get each other when no one else does. But when Aled’s identity as Radio Silence is revealed, Frances fears that the future of Universe City—and their friendship—is at risk. Aled helped her find her voice. Without him, will she have the courage to show the world who she really is? Or will she be met with radio silence?

This book is so good but fair warning, it gets really heavy.

Representation: Aled is demisexual (Alice is queer/aroace) Frances is bi and mixed (white/Ethiopian) Daniel is gay and Korean Carys is a lesbian Raine is pan, Indian, and Hindu

Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis Otherbound is set in two worlds - Nolan’s (ours) and Amara’s (the Dunelands, where magic is real). Amara is on the run with the former princess, Cilla, whose family was overthrown by the ministers. Cilla has been cursed and is being hunted, and Amara’s particular type of healing magic is, basically, convenient for redirecting Cilla’s curse. Since they were children, Nolan has been experiencing Amara’s world through her every time he closes his eyes. He sees through her eyes, feels what she feels, smells what she smells. But he’s just a silent observer. She doesn’t even know he’s there. Until now. Representation: Nolan is Mexica and disabled Amara is not white, mute (due to mutilation), and bi Cilla is not white, fat, and a lesbian The majority of other characters are also not white.

#books #whatsnewpride #i am both very sorry for the length of this post #and absolutely not sorry at all

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miss-choco-chips · 6 years

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Miraculous Ladybug Au part 1

For @iphoenixrising who I think might like the idea. Thanks for always giving me confidence hon. I hope this cheers you up a lil bit.

Where Dick is guilty for wanting what he wants, Jason is confused about who he wants, and Tim just wants to sleep.

<<-Hey, Tim, check this out! You missed big time! That’ll show you not to go on vacation without me to keep you in touch with the real, exciting world.

-Uh?

-Someone on Instagram just posted a twenty seconds clip of Robin doing something.

-People are always posting about the bats. How is this news, Steph?

-Shh, I’m getting there. Look at this. This Robin is waaay too short. It’s not the one we’ve had for the last three years.

-... and? There were two different Robins before him, maybe he just outgrew it or something.

-But, where is he? The others came back, with new names and powers, they… they didn’t left us.

-Maybe it’s just taking him some time, to decide who is he going to be now.

-...Yeah, maybe. He saved me and my daughter once, you know. Took one hell of a blow for us. Wherever he is, I hope he’s doing okay, and gets himself on track quickly. The city needs him.

-I’m sure he’ll appreciate the sentiment. And… I hope that, too.>>

Now...

He tumbled through the open window, face planting into his bed, the transformation letting up even before his forehead was properly buried in the pillow. His muscles practically melting against his Nightwing comforter (birthday present from Dick, oh the irony), the scent of smoke still clinging to it from the last time the boys dropped in for a impromptu visit (nearly scaring the bejesus out of him when he heard their voices and footsteps climbing up the stairs to his bedroom while he still was in the suit, holy fuck-!).

He wanted to sleep so badly. But he had maybe (it was around five a.m, right?) two hours until he needed to leave for work, and if he took a nap now, he might not be able to wake up on time.

-Are you alright, Timmy?

Gathering whatever leftover strength he had in him, he turned his head to the side, his almost closed eyes finding the worried ones of his kwami.

-Yeah. Only tired.

-I’d bet -the little bird-like creature huffed, his tiny black and red chest puffing like an offended peacock-. You are running yourself too ragged.

-Well, lots of things to do. Work stuff, Red Robin stuff, Tim Drake stuff... Not to mention, college.

-Speaking of… -trailed off the kwami, his big blue eyes signaling towards the desk, where his Advanced Economic’s paper awaited for attention.

Tim followed Rouge’s line of sight and promptly groaned when he got the hint, dropping his head once again in the mattress.

-Fuuuuuck. When was that due for?

-Tomorrow. And you’re supposed to met up with Jason today, and dinner with Dick after that. If you cancel on any of them again...

-...Well, it’s not like I actually expected to get any sleep today.

-Two all nighters in a row?

-It’s like you read my mind.

----.----.----

Then...

He met Richard at the circus, when he was four, but since the other boy didn’t remember (his parent’s death probably overwrote anything else in his memory of that night), their official meeting happened two months later, when Dick was formally introduced to high society as Bruce Wayne’s ward.

-Mister Wayne -his father shook Bruce's hand, fake smile firmly in place- and this must be young Richard. Hi, champ, I'm Jack Drake, and this is my lovely Janet.

Behind his mother, Tim couldn't repress a giggle. Champ, dad? Really?

-Good evening, gentleman -his mother, the perfect picture of a lady, smiled delicately behind her gloved hand. It didn't reach her glacial blue irises, but it was enough to fool most businessmen in lowering their defenses.

Tim himself had eyes only for the boy clutching the taciturn billionaire's sleeve. He wondered how was he feeling, if he had tried to fly at all since his parents deaths. He hoped so.

Dick had looked so happy while flying.

—I'm Tim —he butted in, when it was obvious his father intended to speak business and leave the introductions behind them— A pleshure.

He winced internally when the last word was mispronounced, and externally when his mother's nails sank into his shoulder in consequence.

-You'll have to forgive him, he's a baby still -laughed his mother, her hand letting him go and reaching for his father’s elbow-. Go explore, Tim. Your dad has people he needs to talk to, all boring stuff. I’m sure it’s the same with Mister Wayne.

Said man seemed to agree, though how Tim knew, he couldn’t tell, as the man’s expression barely changed.

Dick, on the other side, seemed absolutely crestfallen.

And he knows, he knows he's going to get into trouble for this the moment they are home, but the expression in the boy’s face is just… He wants to wipe it clean, like his nanny does for him when he gets tomato sauce on his cheek.

(It's so different from how he looked that night, soaring the skies besides his parents. Had been so… free)

«Was it then, when he started to put Dick's happiness before his own?»

—Mister Wayne -he finally gathered enough courage to talk, going as far as to interrumput his father’s speech about current politics- can Richard come play with me? Please? We’ll behave.

Dick's small, thankful smile was enough to warrant Bruce's permission, and seal Tim's destiny away.

----.----.----

Now...

-Tiiiiiiimmmyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

He regrets picking up without double checking the caller id. So strongly.

In defense of his sleep deprived brain, it was an unknown number. So either Dick had a new phone, was burrowing someone’s for any reason, or he had caught on on Tim’s attempt at taking distance, decided to try and catch him when he knew he had his defenses low (before eight a.m) and bought a burner to accomplish it.

-It’s six in the morning. You better have a damn good reason to be calling me so… chirpily, at this ungodly hour. You don’t even have to work till nine, why are you awake?

Because Nightwing, along with Red Robin, had been fighting an akumatized nurse not two hours ago. But, since Dick didn’t know Tim knew, his obvious response at such a close corner was to deflect with a practiced, not awkward-totally-but-still-noticeably laugh.

-Come on, honey, where’s my happy Timmers? Who spat in your cereal?

Rouge passed by his bathroom mirror, where Tim was inspecting his reflection in search of his will to live, and like the god-like tiny thing he was, he rubbed comfortingly against his partner’s cheek, as if lending him strength.

Tim sighed and put the phone in speaker, dropping it on the marble countertop. He wasn’t getting out of this conversation anytime soon, so might as well continue with his morning routine.

Tam once compared it to watching a snake changing skins. From the tired, more-than- slightly-murderous teen, to the wow-lookit-a-respectable-young-man.

-First, you ever call me that again, I’ll rearrange your face a la Picasso. Second, no one uses that expression. And lastly, only you eat that crap anyway.

-That’s a lie, I know for a fact you have at least two different brands in your kitchen, even though one is an insult to the cereal industry. Fiber, blegh.

-Because one is for you when you visit, and the other I bought on an impulse of spite to punish you for… I don’t remember now, but I’m sure it was horrible and deserving of drastic measures.

He could hear Dick’s laugh over the line. Once upon a time, the sound would make Tim’s mood lighten, like an echo of the other.

Now it hurt a little.

-You’re spending too much time with Jason and not nearly enough with me. You used to be such a sweet, eager to please angel. What happened?

-I asked your dad to let you play with me, and here I am, fourteen, fifteen years later, looking at my life, looking at my choices -and looking for his damn tie, which he swore he left by the toothbrush yesterday, where the fuck… - Asking myself where I went wrong.

-Yeah, now I remember why I never call you this early.

-About that, was there a reason, or you just wanted to take Jason’s place of honour in my hit-list?

Dick choked on a laugh, and Tim took the chance to quickly brush his teeth. His hair was a lost cause and he had learned to ignore it or risk spending too much time in a battle he wouldn't win. Easier to just ask Tam to brush it for him at the office, because that woman was a magician and Tim would fire the whole board of investor from D.I before letting her go.

-Just checking in. We are still on for movie night, right? Because I might just use my power as a law enforcer and arrest you if you cancel on me again.

With one last look at his reflection (making damn sure his concealer hid both the black and blue spot by his jaw and his ever-growing eye bags), he picked up his phone and started for the kitchen. Rouge, bless his little soul, had plugged in the coffee maker, and the smell called to him like light to a moth.

And there was his tie, by the pot. Score.

-Movie night? -he asked, dubiously, glancing at his kwami. Rouge’s brow furrowed and he shook his head- No, we were going out for dinner. I’m sure.

-It’s Tuesday. Tuesdays were always movie night days. I thought it was implied, Timmy, for God’s sake.

Tuesday were movie night days back when they were five and eleven respectively, even before Jason was adopted, up until Dick started getting busier and calling it quits more often than not. It had been a while since they followed the tradition.

-Uhm, no, sorry. I have a paper due tomorrow, and was going to work on it after dinner with you. Can’t stay the night at your place. Rain check?

-...Yeah. Okay, sure. But you aren’t getting out of dinner.

He could hear Dick’s disappointment over the line. Once upon a time, the sound would ruin Tim’s mood, like an echo of the other.

Now, it still hurt a little.

(More than a little. Fuck)

It’d be easier if he could just cut ties with them all as Tim Drake. If he could get up and leave them, betray their trust, their love.

Like Nightwing had done with Red Robin. Or, to be fair, Robin.

----.----.----

Then…

Tim had known of the Akumas since… forever, really. They had been haunting Gotham long before he was born, hurting people, destroying things, breaking everything in their reach apart.

And then, when he was but a baby, the Batman appeared. Mrs Mac, the housekeeper, told him about it once. How, when the city was going through it’s darkest times, a knight of shadows and justice had risen, taking upon himself the responsibility of protecting the city.

Protecting everyone, really.

He, as any gothamite born and raised, had watched in wonder at whatever recordings the News Channels could provide, talked theories with his friends, stayed up at night wondering who the magic hero might be…

Until said magic hero recruited a sidekick, and Tim stayed up at night for totally new reasons.

(He’d recognize those moves, those tricks, but above all else, that laugh, anywhere)

He wanted so badly to knock at Wayne Manor’s doors, hunt down Bruce and fucking scream at him. Akumas were dangerous, whoever sent them was dangerous, fucking Gotham was dangerous, and Dick was his friend. His thirteen year old friend, who had been a hero for years before the lucky camera man had caught him on frame, revealing the mysterious partner to the world. And while Tim was a kid himself, barely seven, he was smarter than tons of adults he knows. Smarter than Bruce, at least, since he, unlike the other, understood the dangers of the night. Of Gotham herself.

He got as far as the inner gym, where Dick was practicing by the trapezius, flying from end of the room to the other, spinning, twisting mid air, laughing when the roof got too close to his face in one of the highest jumps. And then (maybe because he caught sight of Tim watching by the door, maybe he wanted to show off just a little, maybe he wanted to tell him something and this was the only way to properly express it...), a quadruple somersault, the one he performed for Tim that first night -even if he doesn’t remember that-, the one Robin was caught on camera doing, the one that gave him away.

And Tim, caught in his amazement of the boy, unable to take away this if it was what gave him his wings back, could only clap and yell ‘again!’.

----.----.----

Now...

-You look like death warmed over -greeted Tam when he passed by her desk in his way to his office. Like the well trained boy he was, he detoured, dropping in the empty chair by her side she always had ready for him. Within a second, his assistant took a hairbrush from her purse and started to work her magic in his head.

-Didn’t sleep and had to deal with a morning person before seven. You’d look just as bad, thank you very much.

-Dick called?

He huffed. Rouge, in the inner pocket of his jacket, pressed closer to him for the movement. He stilled immediately, knowing the kwami needed all the sleep he could get.

-That obvious?

-You don’t associate with a lot of morning people.

-There’s something inherently wrong with them, if they are happy that early.

-One of your best friends is like that -Tam tutted, working on a specially difficult knot. Tim didn’t dare complain, even when the tug to his scalp made him wince.

-Bart is a special case, he lives in a perpetual state of high. I still believe he takes cocaine and redbull with his breakfast.

She hummed, hairbrush now discarded in favour of her fingers. They passed through his hair without resistance, his bedhead (could it be called that, when he hadn’t actually slept?) all but gone, the movements soothing. There weren’t a lot of things capable to relax him, these days.

-Well, you have an eleven o’clock appointment with a possible investor, but between that and the board meeting at three, you are a free man. I can make sure no one bothers you while you cat nap.

-I’d love to, but Jason will come and drag me out of here kicking and screaming if I miss lunch with him. Or worse, he might find me asleep and princess carry me all the way to the restaurant in plain view of as many cameras as he can as punishment.

Tam shook her head in amusement and fondness, releasing his hair and straightening on her chair, her ‘back to business’ pose- I’ll never understand your relationship with those boys, I swear.

A sigh, roll of shoulders and he was ready to face the day too.

-Neither will I.

-But you’ll miss them, if they leave.

A flash of something passes through his eyes.

----.----.----

Then...

-I miss you. Don’t you miss me?

Dick, sixteen in body but about five in soul pouted at the screen of his computer, trying to convey the ‘mean, little brother!’ expression as perfectly as possible.

Tim snorted through his nose, getting comfortable on the bed; the notebook on his lap, back to the headboard of the too-big matres, pillows everywhere.

-I can use your bed whenever you go away, so I’ll go with a tentative ‘maybe’. ‘sides, you’ve been gone for two months, Dick. The exchange program goes for seven to eight. Give me another one or so, and I’ll be crying for you to come back.

-That’s an ugly lie, but I appreciate the effort -a change of stance, then the voice turned utterly blank- How are things over there?

Tim bites his lip, wondering, but what would he gain hiding it? If Dick already knew, he would expect Tim, as a young kid, to mention it. If he didn’t, he would find out soon enough and wonder why he didn’t tell him.

-You know how for the last few months Robin just… stopped appearing?

-...yeah?

-Well, he came back a few days ago, and either he shrunk, or it’s someone else.

Dick’s expression doesn’t change, so Tim knows he made the right call telling him; he was already aware.

-Oh? Another kid, putting his life in danger? I wonder what those child activists think about it.

-Keep asking for Batman’s head on a platter, like usual. I think it helps that this one isn’t as small as the previous one was when he first appeared, but, you know. Still setting on fire Batman merchandise in the streets.

-The original Robin wasn’t small. You are small.

-Reaaally mature, Dick. Since when are you in Robin’s protection squad?

-Always been my favorite hero.

Self centered, much?

-Hm… And what about the new one?

-...Let’s wait and see if he can fill the shoes.

-Lucky for him, they’re just kid shoes, no clown ones.

A small, real smile steals his way into Dick’s face, and Tim wants to throw a happy fist to the air.

He lives for that smile.

-You are a dork. Anything else new?

Again, uncertainty, but this one was easier to explain if detected. After all, Dick was aware of how uncomfortable was Tim in his new position as the mediator.

-Jason’s adapting. His grades went up and…

-Oh, look at that. Sorry, Timmers, I gotta go. My roommate is texting me that he wants to hang out.

-Oh… okay. Are we… are we face timing for movie night later? right?

-Yeah, yeah, sure -he waved a hand, as if discarding Tim, and he just knew Dick was going to forget about it… again-. Go have fun. Your parents are still traveling, right? Give Bruce a few white hairs while you’re at the Manor for me. I think he might get bored, without me there to spice things and kickstart his nervous system once an hour. The life of a businessman is soooooo dull.

(Except when said business man is practically a magical girl. God, once Stpeh had made that comparison, Tim just couldn’t unsee it)

He tries to laugh, but it’s empty. He won’t push the issue, and Dick won’t talk about it willingly, but they are both aware of the elephant in the room.

-Wouldn't dream of taking your place as the ever-evolving ulcer in his stomach. Take care. Bye.

He closed the computer lid and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. The situation made him uneasy. It was hard, being Dick’s loyal, loving little brother, Bruce’s unproblematic charge (since his parents decided that letting Tim stay with Wayne during their trips was cheaper than the nanny and housekeeper), and Jason’s-

-Hey, Baby Bird, you done talking to the jackass?

He nearly jumped out of his skin, neck almost breaking with how quickly he turned to face the door.

-Jason! -the automatic smile, brought to fore by the mere sight of his friend in workout clothes (he must have been training) melt into a frown when the words sank in- Don’t be a jerk.

-He’s a dick, pun unintended.

-Cut him some slack, it’s the ‘no more single child’ symptom. He’s just jealous to have to share Bruce’s attention.

-Ain’t he a little too old for that?

-I don’t think ‘old’ is a word you could ever use to describe Dick. Ever. I mean, he’ll be retired and have like twenty grandchildren, and still give off the ‘young, single and ready to mingle’ vibe.

The laugh is so sudden, so surprising, Jason chokes on his own spit.

-You’re a riot. Why do I like you, again?

-Because if not for me, you’ll be alone in this big, scary house, with only Alfred and Bruce for company.

-Alf’s cool.

-Yeah, but he’ll put you to do chores if he thought you’re bored enough to get up to some mischief.

-Sometimes you talk like an 90’s British book.

-Shut up, Harry Potter is my Bible. Besides, not like you can talk about british literature.

Another laugh, and the last of Jason’s tension faded away like a charm. Tim left the computer on the bedside table and stretched, getting up.

-Come on, let’s go find some way to make your Dad rethink his life choices.

-Fuck French, you speak the language of love.

----.----.----

Now...

It was on his way to that new Barbeque on Cameron Street, northwest from Diamond district, when the ground beneath his feet shifted and he and another fifteen passers-by were caught in what seemed like an asphalt cage.

In the middle of the street. With no corner to hide and transform.

Great.

There wasn’t any villian in sight, so the akumatized person probably had just wanted some back up hostages. Most likely, they weren’t the only ones trapped.

And that in the corner was a street cam. Fuck.

He needs to get out and help catch the bad guy of the day, but can’t exactly break asphalt with his bare hands, and transforming in front of fifteen eyewitnesses and a camera isn’t exactly an option.

So, he takes out his phone.

-What’ll you do? -comes the whisper from within his jacket, and he looks down just enough to look at his kwami without drawing attention at himself.

-Well, at this rate I’m going to be late for lunch. It’d be rude of me if I don’t tell Jay about it -he types quickly while he talks, making sure the annoyed (and it always stuns Conner, his friend from metropolis, how Gothamites consider freaks and monsters running around a minor inconvenience; how used to crazy they are) people around him aren’t paying his actions enough attention-. There. Sent.

-Hope he’s not mad at you.

-He can't be, I didn't postpone anything. Just told him I'll be held up here until Red Hood gets his ass on gear and does his job.

-Should you text Dick as well?

-Nah, that'd be too much of an overkill.

-...

-...How long until he comes guns blazing to the rescue?

-Two, three minutes tops.

It was the basis of his and Jason's relationship, the knowledge that, if in peril, they could always count on the other to come running to either save them or hold their hands while everything went to shit.

----.----.----

Elsewhere…

-Hm… the little shit is taking his time. Think I should go get him?

The kwami popped her head out of the bike helmet Jason had left in the extra chair he requested for the table. She seemed deeply unimpressed.

-okay, okay, I'll give him five more minutes. Then, it's fair game.

A sudden ping called his attention to the cell phone carelessly left above the tablecloth. It was the most obnoxious sound he could think of, and was as such his ringtone for the young man he was actually waiting for. It was a sound he couldn't ignore, or sleep over it.

BabyBird:

^Hey Jay, might be a little late for lunch

-That little…

Another ping.

BabyBird:

^Got held up on my way there, some akuma caged me and other fifteen people. Don’t know how long until one of the masks comes to the rescue

^Lol, some woman doesn't give a DUCK and just keeps fighting with someone over the phone about someone named Jerry

Ping.

BabyBird:

^update; Apparently Jerry is her son and she's fighting her ex.

Another ping, quickly following the former.

BabyBird:

^...I'm going to kill either you or Dick. Who programmed my phone to replace all swear words? You motherHUGGERS.

He was out of the door before the last text actually sank in and, by the time he ducked behind a corner, was already laughing.

-Tireur, arm me up!

----.----.----

Then…

He didn’t care who he pushed or tripped on his way to Jason’s room. He wasn’t hearing their screams and complaints. The sound he heard when turning left on the next corner might have been a paparazzi’s camera, or an IV stand he knocked down in his haste, but, again, it wasn’t important at the moment.

The only thing in his head right now, was the echo of that psychotic laughter, of Batman’s screams, of his own gasp when the news coverage showed footage of Robin, bloodied and hurt, trying to get away from a building about to blow up… and failing.

The full blown panic attack that followed made him hyperventilate so bad he actually lost consciousness, only to wake up to the sound of his phone going off and Alfred’s voice on the line telling him how Master Jason, along some other victims, had been caught in the same explosion the Joker, the clown that got akumatized every other week, caused. The same that took Robin out.

He refrained from yelling at Alfred to not lie to him, he already knows who Robin is and who he was before. He knows everything, so don't lie to him, not about something as serious as this…! But only because it was Alfred, and no one yelled at him.

Instead, he asked for updates, still on his phone while running to Wayne Manor, where the butler was ready to give him a lift to the hospital.

Jason was just asleep, they told him, like he was too young and naive to hear the truth. His body needed time to get better, so his head had taken a little vacay.

He was just asleep, the doctors said. All the while Tim kept running numbers in his head, statistics on how likely it was for comatose patients to wake up.

But Jason wasn’t another statistic. He was his friend, his brother, his hero.

Robin. His Robin. The one he watched from the very beginning, the one he discretely helped easing into the hero life by being always there, to unwind after a fight or hang out when the dangers of the life he lead hounded up on him.

The sobs he tried so hard to reign in were now freely bursting out of his dry lips.

When Tim cried, it usually was a quiet thing, tears rolling down marble cheeks, not a sound escaping his mouth. A cry for help from a child who knew no one would come running at the sound of his pain. A resigned thing.

There, at Jason’s bedside, clasping the boy’s hand on his own, what came out of his chest through his mouth was a full out, loud, broken wail.

The next couple of days were kind of a blur to him. He was aware that, at some point, Mister Wayne had tried to coax him away from the room and to his home. He knows, too, that had his parents been there to witness his hysterical tantrum, he would have been grounded until it was time for him to leave for college. Every few hours, Alfred would came and feed him small bits of food. Sometimes he threw up, sometimes he didn't. It was like tossing a coin on that one.

He thinks it’s a week later, but it could very well be a month, when he weaseled his way into Jay’s bed, careful of the IVs attached to his arms, and spoke out loud for probably the first time since the explosion.

-You don’t have to keep hiding. I know about you. About how… you gave Dick, and then Jay, their powers. I… I know I’m not the only one grieving, so if you want, we could… keep each other company.

A few moments passed by. It was okay. Tim wasn’t going anywhere.

Then, a small green and yellow head poked out of Jason’s pillowcase, big blue eyes staring at Tim in wonder and wariness.

-...how?

-Dick’s not nearly as inconspicuous as he believes he is. I already knew he was Robin, but couldn’t figure out how exactly did he get his powers… Until one day, he thought I was asleep, and transformed in the bathroom attached to the room I was in. Doofus didn’t even completely close the door.

The little thing laughed, like a bell. Tim borrowed deeper into Jay’s side.

-My name is Merle, Robin’s kwami.

-I’m Tim. Robin’s friend.

----.----.----

Now…

Red Hood arrived at the scene in record time. He was almost impressed.

Once there, the masked hero drew his guns, loading each of them with a brown and gold magazine. As far as Tim understood, Hood’s powers derived from his firearms, and he had different kind of bullets for specific situations.

He shot at strategic points in the asphalt cage, crumbling it to the ground. Coincidently, none of those points were near the corner were Tim was crouched. Typical.

-Is everyone alright? -asked the hero, once the dust had settled and they were free.

A few nods, some ‘thanks for the save’ then and there, the occasional ‘any clue where the Akuma is? I’d like to avoid it today’, and then the people scattered. A woman strode past Red Hood, phone at hand, yelling something about child support.

Tim took his time getting up, straightening his tie and running his fingers through his hair in an attempt at controlling the strands again.

-Hey -the masked man approached him, concern palpable in his tone- you alright, Tim?

It said something about his life as Tim Drake, that he was on first name basis with Gotham’s heroes.

-Yep, just hungry. I was on my way to have lunch with my friend, so I’ll be leaving now.

He saw the anxiety flash through Hood’s expression at the mention, remembering that Tim was expecting to see his alter ego at the restaurant, but he still had an Akuma to catch.

-Ah, wait! You mean, that Jason dude, right?

-Yeah?

Tim wondered if it made him a sadist, the satisfaction he got from making Jason, Dick or Damian squirm like this, putting them on the fence with his ‘innocent’ worry about their alter egos.

-I saw him on m’way here, actually. Said somethin’ came up, and he’s gonna take a raincheck on lunch.

He let the tiniest bit of disbelief slip into his facade, before seemingly deciding to trust the masked man.

-Oh, what a shame. I’ll be very busy the next couple of weeks, it’s going to be a while before we can meet up again.

-That.. that sucks. But, ah, ‘m sure he’ll get it. I gotta go now, kid. See ya around.

He watched Hood’s retreating back as he shot a line at the nearest rooftop. Perfect, since now he’d have the time to transform and catch up with him to help with the Akuma as Red Robin. If Tim Drake got the chance at skipping bonding time with Jason? Even better.

He wasn’t mad at Jason, the way he was at Dick’s alter ego, Nightwing. Jay never hurt him, never casted either him nor Red Robin out (exception made for the very first encounters they had as heroes, back when he still used the Robin miraculous).

But, since his alter ego had slept with Jason’s, he figured he had every reason to feel a little shy.

----.----.----

Then…

-You never tried to get to know him -he said, and it wasn’t a reproach, just a fact. Nevertheless, Dick still cringed in place, bending in on himself like a kid sent to time out.

-I… I know.

-He is just a kid Bruce saw something in. Like you, a kid who needed someone to see his brightest parts, and take him in to give him a chance at a better future.

-I know.

-He’s… he’s a very good person. Really smart, loyal and caring.

-I… know. You told me.

-You are/ Dick, you are one of the best people I know, if not THE best. Why would you treat an innocent kid like the gum stuck in your shoe?

Dick squirms in his place by the door, not daring to get closer to the bed where both Tim and Jason laid, but obviously wanting. Not that it mattered. Jason wouldn’t want him so close by, specially at his most vulnerable, and Tim was nothing if not the ferocious dragon protecting the sleeping Prince’s will, his surname all too fitting.

-Just… It’s just stupid, okay? And it doesn’t matter now. All that matters, is that he gets better. And if… when, he wakes up, I’ll explain it to him.

Dick wouldn’t be able to see him, because of the angle, but Tim catched the yearning and sad look Merle, hiding between Jason’s covers, sent his oldest partner. The little fairy (kwami, Tim reminded himself), his companion this last weeks in guarding Jason’s room, seemed as troubled as Tim had been when he was expected to mediate between the two adopted brothers.

-But not me.

There was something a little dark, a little sad and a little empty in Dick’s eyes. For the first time ever, he didn’t feel the compulsion to fill that void with happiness.

-I don’t think I can stomach telling you, BabyBird.

----.----.----

Now…

He intercepts Red Hood two blocks away from Newtown, still in Crime Alley territory but close enough to the other neighborhood. Since D.I was by Moench Row, just between the Fashion and Diamond districts, it took some time to catch up on the hero.

The fight is well in its final course when he arrives. The Bat is here, which means Red Hood is content on just sharpshooting from a close by rooftop. N and R are missing, but Tim already knew they would be: it’s not Dick’s patrol time, and R must be at school.

As the independent vigilantes, neither Red Robin nor Red Hood follow Batman’s patrol routes nor schedules. For the later, it means he can choose to stay close to the Bowery, Crime Alle and Chinatown, where he feels he’s more useful. For himself, it means he doesn’t have someone putting a hand to his shoulder and mandating down time after a few consecutive hard patrols.

When he was Robin, he wasn’t allowed to fight during school hours, nor after three a.m. If there was some kind of emergency that required all hands on dock, it meant almost a week of taking things slow, because even if B didn’t know his nightlife protege was also his daylife charge, he would never leave a kid under his protection unsupervised enough to hurt themselves. Now, he can choose whenever the fuck he wants to help, and when he feels like leaving the others to deal with it (watching from afar how Dick and Jason dealt with a akuma with the powers of body switching people, and how the heroes had to improvise working with bodies and powers that didn’t suit them, had been too funny to actually put any effort to stop).

Shaking his head to clear it from the memories, he landed softly by Hood’s side, careful to not startle the hero laying on his stomach by the edge of the roof, with a long-distance rifle ready to go on his hands.

-Ya came all t’way here for nothin, Pretty Bird. The old man has it all in hand.

Letting himself fall at the edge, legs dangling and resting his weight on his arms behind him, he allows his gaze to travel through the skyline of buildings. It was a nice view, for those used to the air pollution and angry drivers yelling a few stories bellow.

-Had lunch cancelled, thought I might as well.

Hood grunts, shifting his stance to a less alert one. B clearly didn’t need their help.

-I had fucking plans, man. If B wasn’t in the fucking way, I’d put a bullet through the bastard, see if he lets himself get akumatized again.

Tim crooked his head to the side, analyzing the crazy of the hour.

-It’s a new one, though. I don’t recognize him. Probably his first time getting transformed?

-It’s already one too many. Our lives are just as shitty as anyone’s in the city, and you don’t see us fucking shit up.

-To be fair, we get our chances at therapeutic skull smashing when we keep those guys in check.

A few feet under them, Batman’s batarang was already boomeranging past the former akumatized transit police woman, slicing through the black and green butterfly and setting free the white and pink one trapped inside it.

And he hadn’t needed to move a single muscle. Sighing in defeat (he sooo could have used this time to power nap before his next meeting at work), he climbed to his feet.

-Seems like you were right, we shouldn’t have bothered to come. See ya, Hoo/

-Hey -interrupted the other, suddenly standing, rifle out of sight and way too deep into Tim’s personal bubble-, since we r' both here… no energy lost… n' we didn’t use our miraculous, so no chance of us de-transformin' suddenly…

Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Hood, please don’t say it.

-One of my safe spot’s near. Want ta come for a cup of tea?

Don’t play along. Don’t play along. Goddammit, Tim, Don’t play along.

He takes that last step separating them, hands carefully delineating the outline of Hood’s suit of armor.

-You know I don’t drink your dirty leaf-water.

The other hero’s hands were big enough, they could almost completely envelope his waist, something never failed to arouse him.

-Good. Then we can go straight to the cake.

All the way to Hood’s (Jason’s) secret apartment, Tim berated himself, again and again, about how bad of an idea this was. How fucked up (in both senses, oh my god) was he going to be by the end of it. How uncomfortable was it going to be for him to actually talk to the man when the masks came out and Jay was looking at his best friend, not knowing he had had his tongue on his mouth, his neck, deep inside his ass. Not knowing why Tim was suddenly avoiding him.

Why he felt so goddamned guilty.

But, once they arrived to the place, and his back was to the wall not two seconds later, Hood’s strong body pressed tight against his, hands grabbing anything they could, mouth hot and dirty and doting…

He could only throw his head back and moan.

----.----.----

Then...

The city was in absolute chaos. From his place by Jason’s windowsill, Tim winced at the fiery remnants of the last explosion (by the library? It could have also been the post office), the hospital one of the few places untouched by the madness that was Gotham right now.

In his hands, his smartphone kept him up to speed about what was taking place on the streets. Apparently, the patients at Arkham Asylum had been akumatized again, only at the same fucking time. The Joker, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy and Two Faces so far. Apparently, the first two had already been apprehended and de transformed, and the third was calm and unobtrusive at Robinson Park, but since they had kept the Bat focused on them until now, that meant the last of the lot had enough time to completely cover the city in bombs.

Which exploded two at a time, every two hours and twenty two minutes. There was a serious OCD there.

Perched on Tim’s propped up knee, Merle’s sky blue eyes danced from one burning spot to the other, shining like little red and yellow dots on the map that was Gotham from such a height.

-The library -quietly commented the kwami.

-And the Museum -Tim added, fingers tapping the location on the screen of the phone, on the downloaded blueprints of the city.

-Before that, it was the park.

-And the Aquarium.

-And the first two where the Zoo…

-...and planetarium.

-Why those places?

Minutes were ticking by. Bombs kept going off, unpredictable locations being blown up with everyone inside with them. Batman and Nightwing, Gotham’s newest hero, were running themselves ragged, trying to contain the damage and stop the villain. Batgirl worked with the authorities to keep buildings standing, her Eye of Insight (which, Tim was now aware, was her Miraculous) determining the most flimsy spots in the structures, the ones they needed to reinforce before the entire thing crumbled down.

And Tim was here, at the hospital, hearing the nurses and doctors doing their best to save everyone from being a casualty of the akuma’s violence, useless to both his family and the innocents from Gotham that were most likely going to die today.

(Everything because Bruce couldn’t think straight)

-Kids, Merle -he answered, his phone going, once again, to the billionaire's voicemail-. Those are all places where kids like to go, or have to. If he keeps the timeline, the next attack would be at two twenty two a.m, and it’s going to be…

-Gotham’s kindergarten? -the little creature tried to guess. It wasn’t too far off, since, judging by how many witnesses on twitter swore to have spotted the bat at Gotham’s primary school, B thought the same.

But it was wrong.

(Everything because, since Jason died, Bruce stopped thinking about the akumatized people as… people. People with minds of their own. With feelings)

-The orphanage.

(Horrible and twisted feelings, but feelings after all)

-We have to stop him!

-How? B isn’t picking up. Neither is Alf. Dick’s phone is at my house where he left it yesterday. I have no other way to contact them. And Bruce is so deep in his rage because of Jason’s accident, he’s so desperate to hurt something, he’s being impulsive. Reckless. He’s not going to think about orphans until it’s too late.

-We can’t just stay here! -Merle cried out, desperate at the sight of his city in flames, of one of his boys out there risking his life, and the other fighting for it in the bed behind their backs.

-Well, what would you have me do? -Tim finally snapped, standing from the windowsill and turning to face the kwami- I can’t just take a bus to Gotham’s school and yell at B to move his ass!

-Yes you can! You have to!

-I’ll never make it in time! There’s no vehicle that could dodge the shitstorm that must be the streets now, and unless you have some way for me to travel via rooftops, I would never make it there! I can’t help anyone! I’m not Robin!

When no reply came, Tim’s eyes, that had strayed to the window again, looked for the kwami.

Merle floated right in front of him, face determined, eyes pleading. He held a too familiar necklace, that almost every boy and girl wore as an ode to their hero. A green ‘R’, encircled in red, on a golden chain.

Robin’s necklace.

-But you could be. If you take this and fly with me, you could be. Gotham needs a hero. Batman needs a Robin. Your family needs you.

On the little screen, the reporters said something about Nightwing being hurt by a burning beam falling on him.

He made the decision before he could even think about it.

-Merle, help me fly.

Robin soared the skies again.

#my writing #i can't believe i did this #i'm so tired #i did this instead of sleeping #Tim Drake #dick grayson #Jason Todd #bruce wayne #stephanie brown #Barbara gordon #Miraculous Ladybug au #Batman is a magical girl #No edit we die like women #no beta #JayTim #future TimDick #future JayTimDick #secret identity

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piquantpiper · 6 years

Text

A Reading of "The House That Jack Built" As A Scathing Condemnation of Misogynistic Directors and the Complacent History of Hollywood

This contains spoilers for every bit of the film.

Lars von Trier's latest, "The House That Jack Built," features an architect-turned-serial killer named Jack traveling down the River Styx at the end of his life and telling anecdotes about the gruesome murders he has committed. He explains that he began taking post-mortem photos of his victims and dubbed his serial killer persona "Mr. Sophistication." His once-overwhelming OCD waned, and he became better at faking emotions, confidence, and charisma.

My reading of the film was that it was one huge takedown of directors who frequently employ cheap or gratuitous violence, especially against women. It highlights their resistance to criticisms and uses symbolism to call out the stagnation and complacency of the industry.

Jack drives a big obvious red van, leaves a trail, is clumsy, and is a terrible liar, yet he gets away with everything for over a decade because of everyone's willingness to look the other way, and also likely because it was “a different time” - the 1970s and 80s. The complacency of men and the law is underlined here. Cops in this film are ignorant as hell and never catch Jack even when he's daring them to or admitting his crimes to their faces. Al, the clerk at the end of the film, has known something has been fishy about this customer for years but he doesn't call the police until the very end, when Jack finally yells at him for once.

Jack stuffs dozens of women he's randomly killed into a walk-in freezer, literally "fridging" them and acting out a bad entertainment trope. The street sign here - Prospect - is broken off and only reads "Pros." It is featured every time he adds a body. The freezer is also filled with hundreds of cheese pizzas, representing the need for instant gratification and the homogeneity of the industry. "Fame" by David Bowie blares several times during the film until it nearly becomes a gag.

Like every insecure film school grad, Jack over-explains and over-justifies everything on his ride down the River Styx, going so far as to give little meta PowerPoint presentations about William Blake, the protocol of wild game hunters, how cool Albert Speer was, and how everyone who doesn't agree with him is a sheep who will never become a beautiful tiger embracing savagery as he does. He thinks he is explaining and justifying his choices, his influences, and his pursuit of artistic perfection. This is all utter bullshit and good ol' Virgil calls him out on it at every turn. When Jack says that we should look at the works of a person, not at their actions - an all-too-common comment on abusive but revered directors like Polanski, Kubrick, Allen, and von Trier himself - Virgil basically replies "you lost me when you started abusing children."

Uma Thurman plays the first victim. It seems significant that she would be involved in this project, given how vocal she has been this year about her experiences with Weinstein and Tarantino. In fact, her scene here seems like meta commentary on her own conflict with Tarantino during Kill Bill: They drove up and down a road a few times in preparation for a stunt. She felt unsafe and wanted a stunt driver. He kept pressuring her to do it herself. She did, and she was seriously injured. So when her character here insults Jack repeatedly and calls him a wimp, he snaps, killing her in his passenger seat after she's made him drive the same road three times. Both people in the car represent Thurman in real life. She "snaps" and finally does the stunt scene after being taunted, but she's the one who pays dearly.

Jacqueline Simple is the only character/victim we actually witness screaming for help, leaning out her window at night. Her name is a clue - she is a mirror to Jack, a representation of his fear of being unintelligent and his fear that he is merely screaming into the void with his art and will never be listened to. He cuts her phone line earlier that night while on a date at her apartment and enters into a feedback loop with her/himself, reassuring her and lulling her into a false state of security before he attacks. Jacqueline's scene could also represent the relationship between actress and director - her line to the outside world is severed and she now derives all validation from her abuser. He holds the keys to her freedom, literally.

Jack represents problematic creators, specifically directors, throughout the film. Chief among these parallels is his proclivity for post-mortem photography of his victims - posing their bodies to suit his whims. Jack finds the negatives of his photos more interesting than the originals - having an obsession with violence and drama. We see him shooting people often, either with a gun or a camera. He tries to rewrite the experiences of some of his victims by means of grim taxidermy, putting smiles on their faces before they freeze in storage.

If something is methodical and informed by theory and research, it HAS to be good, right? Boring directors probably think so. That's all the effort and thought that they care to put in. Jack explains the ethical pattern in which to shoot a family of deer: fawns first. If you miss the doe, she can survive without the fawns, whereas inverse is not true - and that would just be cruel! Jack even says he considers himself a gentleman for following this pattern as he shoots down a human mother and her two sons. (There's another layer of symbolism here, hinted at by the sign-off of von Trier's video that prefaced the screening of the film I saw in theaters: "Remember: Never another Trump." The clueless family had all donned red baseball caps at the start of this scene as visibility/safety gear at the shooting range, yet the caps make them into targets once Jack begins his spree. The caps represent MAGA caps, and the family's refusal to remove them even when in danger shows how reluctant Republicans are to admit that they were wrong. The apple pie at the picnic and the act of feeding it to the dead child further comments on von Trier's view of America.)

"Why are all the stories you've told about dumb women?" Virgil asks him. "I killed men, too." Jack answers. "But you're only telling me about the dumb women because you need to feel superior," notes Virgil.

When Jack starts killing men in the last fifteen minutes of the film, it's all intricately planned: he monologues, gives a bunch of backstory, brings up the military, and reminisces about hunting trips with his best friend, the elderly S.P. (Standards and Practices? ...Am I reaching now?) before shooting him to death. This stands in contrast with the earlier, fumbling murders of numerous unnamed women throughout the rest of the movie, which were sometimes even played for laughs. Jack finally gets caught, right after he murders his first man onscreen but before he can pull the trigger on another seven he had prepared.

There is no way in hell that we are supposed to sympathize with Jack or think he is a cool, slick killer. There is no way the director sympathizes with him. Jack is a massive joke who keeps getting away with things due to dumb luck and the utter complacency of the world around him, yet he gives more than one "you're all sheeple who can't understand my art!" lamentation. He even goes on a "men have it so hard, men are always assumed guilty" rant as he's skinning a woman alive. Hi, irony, nice to meet you.

Jack has absolutely no hope of redemption at the end. Virgil knows his narcissism will compel him to try to cross the broken bridge that no one has ever conquered, which results in him falling and burning in the very deepest pit of hell. Turning the screen to a negative exposure at the moment of the fall is the film's final taunt to Jack's character, as in "now let's see him try to find the beauty in that, in his own suffering."

We never see Jack at work at his day job as an architect/engineer. He buys a picturesque lakeside plot of land. The house that he demolishes and restarts multiple times at that location was supposed to be his real masterpiece, but instead he became fixated on his identity of "Mr. Sophistication” and the accompanying photography. He confuses this compulsion for his true calling, all while Bowie's "Fame" plays on loop. The house is never completed.

It is easier to destroy than to create, and it is easier to talk yourself into thinking destruction is some grotesquely beautiful esoteric art than to actually challenge yourself and endeavour to create anything original.

The character Virgil repeatedly reminds Jack that the greatest works of art have been borne of love. True art needs love, humanity, and feelings, which Jack will never understand because he is a stubborn psychopath.

This film is an overt callout of creators who think that stylized violence is a substitute for substance and that anything that is informed by theory is inherently good. Those who refuse to admit they're wrong or may have taken an unfulfilling life path, leaving a cheap and hollow legacy with no new message to impart. Those who think it is easier to paint someone's suffering as artistic than it is to unpack their own suffering and the root causes of it.

#The House That Jack Built #lars von trier

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neverplannedonnewsies · 6 years

Note

Requesting some Finch content 😁😁

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER! Bless you, this my first request so I hope you like it!

Also this is real long so I put it under the cut :)

Special Delivery

Got this idea when I was working as a receptionist and had a VERY hot delivery guy lol (sadly he came on the last day of my job, why cruel fate, why?). This is definitely my longest fic, but I didn’t want to rush the storyline. Hope you guys enjoy!

Warnings: bad language

Finch x reader pairing

—–

Being the receptionist at “The World” meant you had a great deal of responsibility, and when you first started the job you were a but overwhelmed. Hannah was wonderful about helping you adjust (after all it was her job when she first started), but she couldn’t always be there. You were also intimidated given that most of the staff was a good 20 – 30 years older than you. The only ones your age were Mr. Pulitzer’s daughter, Katherine, and her boyfriend, Jack, who started working in the offices around the same time you did. Nice as it was when they were there, they didn’t come in to the office every day – you did. Which meant you had to muddle through a variety of tasks by yourself, not always knowing how to accomplish them, and certain Mr. Pulitzer would show up at any moment to fire you. Currently you were trying to find a single file hidden amongst hundreds of others without the slightest clue of where to begin, and you were starting to panic.

“Delivery for Mr. Pulitzer,” a new voice said, interrupting your thoughts. Turning around you saw a tall, curly haired boy roughly your age wearing a newsboy cap and holding a package. Stiffly a sigh at yet another new task that you had no idea how to complete, you asked,

“Anything I need to do?”

“Not much, just sign this receipt miss,” the boy said, smiling at you.

“Oh,” you said, spirits lifting, “Well that’s easy enough,”and quickly signed your name.

“Great, you’re all set Miss…Y/L/N,” the boy replied, glancing at the receipt as he handed you the package.

“Thanks! What’s your name?”

“Oh, uh, it’s Finch,” he replied, looking slightly startled.

“What’d you forget the answer?” you said, smiling to show you were teasing.

“No, it’s just no one here’s ever asked it before that’s all.”

“Oh… well it’s very nice to meet you Finch,” you said,holding out your hand for him to shake. Finch smiled and warmly shook your hand in return, your small hand easily fitting into his larger one.

“It’s nice to meet you too Miss Y/L/N.”

“Oh you can call me Y/n.”

“Y/n. You’re new here right?”

“Yes. Do you deliver here often?”

“Sometimes, when they got stuff that needs deliverin’ and I’m not out sellin’ papes.”

“Oh you’re a newsie as well! Do you know Jack Kelly?”

“Yeah! He’s basically the leader of the Manhattan newsboys.”

“I noticed – Jack seems like a pretty natural leader.”

“For sure,” Finch replied, smiling at you. You weren’t certain if it was your imagination, but he seemed to be staring at you – at least the amount of eye contact he was making almost had you blushing, after all he was very handsome. Then he seemed to shake himself slightly and said,

“Anyways I should probably get goin’. It was nice to meet you though Y/n.”

“It was nice to meet you too Finch.”

You turned back to your task, a little more relaxed now, and went about the rest of your day trying not to think about the handsome delivery boy.

——-

As the weeks went on and you got more accustomed to your job, Finch and you became good friends. Occasionally he’d stop by when he was out selling papers. He’d claim he was taking a break, that he needed to get out of the heat for a bit, and you certainly didn’t mind if that meant he kept you company. He didn’t do it often because he didn’t want to get you in trouble, but you didn’t think you’d mind if he did.

One day he was in the middle of telling you about the antics of the other newsies when a familiar voice interrupted.

“Finch? What’re you doin’ here?”

Finch straightened up from lounging against your desk, for the briefest second looking guilty until he recognized Jack and his face relaxed into a smile.

“Hey Jack! I didn’t know you was here today.”

“I just dropped by to see Katherine – what’re you doin’ here?”

“Oh I was just deliverin’ a package,” he replied, the guilty look coming back over his face, “I should probably get goin’ though, got a lot more packages to deliver today.”

As Finch left you felt Jack observing you with sudden interest. You busied yourself with some papers on your desk, trying to avoid eye contact with him and willing him to keep his mouth shut. Unfortunately, keeping his mouth shut was not one of Jack Kelly’s strong suits.

“So,” he drawled, “you and Finch seem pretty close.”

“I don’t know about close – he drops off packages, we talk a little, that’s about it,” you said, stubbornly refusing to be baited.

“I don’t know,” Jack continued with an infuriating grin, “seemed a little more comfortable than a business relationship to me. If I had to guess I’d say he was sweet on ya.”

You felt your face heat a little but maintained your composure, “Don’t be ridiculous, Kelly. He’s just doin’ his job, and if he takes a break here so what?”

“Alright, alright whatever you say,” Jack replied, holding his hands up in mock surrender, “but for the record Finch is a real sweet guy, and he’s got a lot of friends, but he’s hangin’ out here to talk to you. He don’t do that with just anyone.”

You tried to refocus on your work as Jack walked away, but the bubble of hope that rose in your chest kept distracted for the rest of the day.

——

Finch continued dropping by with increasing frequency, and you started looking forward to it as the highlight of your day. He’d tell you about the other newsies and the pranks they’d pull on each other, but he’d also ask you about your life and listen when you needed to rant about your job.

One gloomy day Finch was hiding out from the rain and showing you the slingshot he had made himself. It was a slow day so you weren’t worried about taking a break from your work. However a few minutes after he’d gotten there you heard the front door open, causing Finch straightened up quickly, not wanting to get you in trouble. He smiled and waved goodbye to you, beginning to head towards the door but pausing when the portly man entering stormed past him and yelled, “I demand to see Mr. Pulitzer!”

Composing yourself from your intial shock, you replied calmly,“Sir, I’m sorry but you cannot see Mr. Pulitzer without an appointment. If you’d like I can take your name and-“

“Don’t give me that!” the man shouted, cutting you off, “Do you know who I am?”

“I’m afraid I do not sir, but-“

“I could make your life a living hell! I own half this town and Pulitzer had any sense he would see me immediately.”

“Sir, I understand but I really can’t let you up,” you said, beginning to glance around somewhat desperately for the security guard who was nowhere in sight, “Mr. Pulitzer isn’t even here at the moment, and without an appointment-“

“I don’t want your excuses you little bitch!”

You gasped, not knowing how to reply when Finch, whom you hadn’t realized was still there, rushed back to your side, shielding you slightly from the enraged man.

“How dare you talk to her that way! She said Mr. Pulitzer ain’t here, so I think it’s time for you to leave.”

Finch was pretty laid back – in fact he had told you the only time he had ever been in a fight was during the newsboy strike (“I don’t see the point of gettin’ hit if you don’t need to,” he’d said), but right now he was drawn up to his full height, fists clenched at his side. The man looked up at him and sneered,

“You work here too boy? I’ll have you both dismissed, you and your whore.”

You could audibly hear Finch’s jaw clench, and in a more mature voice than you’d ever heard before he said, “Out.”

Not giving the man time to argue further Finch grabbed one of his arms, dragged him to the door, and threw him out, locking the door behind him. Immediately the intense look on his face softened and he rushed back to you, grabbing one of your hands.

“Y/n, are you ok? I’m so sorry, I can’t believe anyone would ever talk to a lady like that.”

“I’m ok Finch,” you said, though the slight tremble in your hands gave you away. “It happens sometimes, folks get mad about what gets published in the paper. I’m glad you were here though.”

“Miss Y/L/N!” a new voice called as the security guard huffed into view, “What happened? I heard shouting.”

“I’m alright Mr. Ponton. That gentleman out there came in demanding to see Mr. Pulitzer, but Finch here helped me out when he started getting nasty.”

Mr. Ponton looked at the man who was still pulling at the doors and shouting profanities and winced. “Well good for you son, I’m glad you were able to handle him. He is quite a powerful man, but that’s still no excuse to shout at our receptionist. I’ll go and see if I can calm him down.”

As the guard left you turned to Finch, “Thank you again for helping me. I’m sorry you had to get involved.”

“Don’t be sorry, Y/n. It ain’t your fault and I certainly ain’t gonna stand by while someone says those horrible things to you.”

“Well thank you all the same.” On an impulse you stood on your toes and placed a soft kiss on Finch’s cheek. You stood together for a moment longer, both with admittedly goofy grins on your faces until the sound of the door opening snapped you out of the trance.

“Well I’ve talked him down and convinced him to come back another day, but it would still probably be best if you left out the back today son.”

Finch nodded at Mr. Ponton, and with one last look at you headed for the back exit. As you stared after him, Mr. Ponton said, “So, that your fella?”

“No,” you replied, this time your denial not quite as convincing as before, “no he’s just the delivery boy.”

Mr. Ponton let out a bit of a “humph” but said nothing further as you got back to work.

—-

You were standing organizing files behind your desk when the door opened and Finch came in, something hidden behind his back.

“Hey Finch!”

“Special delivery for ya,” he said, pulling out a flower from behind his back.

“Finch!” you cried, taking the flower, “It’s so beautiful. What’s this for?”

“Well I was wonderin’, when you were done with work, if you’d wanna go for a walk?”

“You wanna go for a walk with me?” you asked, a smile beginning.

“And then, if yous hungry, I know this nice diner we could go to.”

“You wanna go to a diner with me?”

“Is it alright if I do?”

“Absolutely. It’s more than alright.”

He took you by the hand and started to lean towards you when down the hallway a door slammed, making you both jump.

“I’ll be back at the end of the day to pick ya up,” Finchsaid. He began to turn to leave, then quickly turned back to place a soft kiss on your hand before running out the door. You stood there for a good 30 seconds, staring at the door and holding the flower close to your heart.

“Y/n,” Jack said, coming into the lobby, “What’re you doin’?”

“Oh nothing,” you replied, going to back to your desk to geta cup of water for the flower. Try as you might you couldn’t keep the grin off your face. Jack leaned against your desk, narrowing his eyes, looking between you and the flower, before understanding spread across his face.

“So,” he said casually, “Get any deliveries today?”

“Maybe one.”

“Gotcha,” he said, tapping on your desk as he turned to walkaway, “Atta boy Finch, atta boy.”

Tag List:

@my–little–happy–place

@bencookisagod

@thebroadwayaesthetic

@king-of-newyork

@bennie-badeend

@seasickdolphin

@backgroundnewsies

@buttons-in-the-refuge

#ask #finch #finch cortes #patrick finch cortes #finch x reader #newsies fan fiction #newsies fanfiction #newsies x reader #newsies #newsies on broadway #newsie x reader #jack kelly #katherine plumber #pulitzer #special delivery #mine #fanfiction #fan fiction #finch newsies

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ionlyreadfivebookslastweek · 5 years

Text

Bless The Broken Road - 19

In the morning, Jack drove up to Quantico and picked Jane up. They then drove the rest of the way to Ashburn, Virginia together.

“Hey, Jack?” Jane spoke, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between them.

“Hmm?”

“What if you moved into my old apartment? You’d live a lot closer than you do right now,” Jane suggested.

“That’s actually a good idea! I’ll think about it and let you know,” Jack told her. When they arrived at their parents’ place, Jane was greeted with a rather aggressive hug from both parents.

“Hi! Woah, hey now, be careful, please!” she laughed.

“You didn’t tell them?” Jack questioned.

“Tell us what?” Laura asked.

Jane turned to Jack and thew a sarcastic “Thanks,” at him.

“Sweetheart, tell us what?” Daniel asked. Jane sighed. “Alright, fine, come with me.” She entered the house and led her parents into a separate room. She briefly explained to them about being abducted and the injuries resulting from the incident. “Mom, Dad, trust me. I’m fine. I didn’t want you to worry so I didn’t tell you.”

Before they could say anything, the doorbell rang, forcing them to end the conversation.

Laura opened the door and Jane’s grandmother entered.

“Jane, dear! It’s so good to see you!” she cheered, coming over to give her a hug. “And Jack, honey!” She moved to hug him too.

“Hey, Grandma,” Jack greeted her. “Here, let me get your coat,” he offered.

“Thank you, dear. Such a gentleman!”

He took her coat from her and turned to Jane. “Jane, do you want me to grab yours too?”

“Oh, right! Yeah, thanks.” Jane took off her coat and gave it to him. He headed out of the entryway to go put them in one of the bedrooms. Everyone else headed into the living room to join the rest of the family.

During the meal, Jane’s relatives asked her about work and how that was going. She told them how she enjoys helping people, but avoided talking about injuries and other dangers of the job.

“Jane, would you mind helping me bring the pies out of the kitchen?” Laura asked once everyone had finished their main course.

Jane obliged and followed her out of the room.

“So, I noticed how that extra seat at the table you asked me to save has remained empty,” Laura pointed out.

“Yeah, um, it was meant for Spencer. You remember him from the hospital?” Jane paused a moment for her to confirm before hurrying to continue, not wanting to dwell on that moment too much. “Anyway, the team is still on a case, so he couldn’t be here.”

She nodded in understanding. “How is Spencer doing?”

“He’s great. Actually, we started dating a while ago, six months tomorrow, and a few weeks ago he asked me to move in with him,” Jane confessed.

Laura’s eyes widened and she gasped in surprise. “Oh, that’s great, honey!” She stepped forward to embrace her daughter. “And you’re happy?”

“Very happy,” Jane laughed into her shoulder.

“Well, I’m glad!”

After the meal was over, everyone moved into the living room to watch football.

Jane’s phone went off and she stepped away to answer it.

“Hey, Spence!” she spoke.

Cheering erupted from the other room.

“What’s going on?” Spencer asked.

“I’m guessing one of the teams just scored a touchdown. My family’s watching football,” Jane explained.

"Oh, alright. Well, I just called to let you know that we’re on our way to find the UNSUB right now. I should be home later tomorrow.”

“That’s great! I’m planning on staying at my parents overnight, so I should be back later tomorrow as well,” Jane told him.

“I gotta go,” Spencer said suddenly.

“Oh, ok. Stay safe. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

That night, Jane struggled to sleep, nightmares invading her mind, all of which put her back in that godforsaken basement.

Throughout the next day, she continued having flashbacks to what happened to her, though she did her best to appear fine in front of her parents.

On the drive home, Jack asked her, “Hey are you doing alright, Jane?”

”Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

”You’ve been quiet today. And there were a few times while we were still at the house where you seemed to zone out a little bit.”

Jane shook her head, keeping her eyes on the road. “I’m just tired. I had trouble sleeping last night.”

”Well, maybe I should be driving then.”

Jane laughed. “I swear, Jack, I’m fine.”

Upon arriving at Spencer’s apartment, Jane helped Jack move his things to his car before saying goodbye and heading towards the door.

”Jane?” Jack called out. Jane stopped and turned to look at him. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine!” Jane insisted. “Goodnight. Let me know when you get home safe.”

Jack nodded, still not entirely convinced, before climbing into his car.

Jane headed up to the apartment to find that Spencer was already home from the case. She set her things by the door and followed the sound of cooking to the kitchen.

”Spencer?” she called out, causing him to drop the spoon he was holding.

He turned around to see her standing in the doorway. “Jane, you’re home! I didn’t hear you come in.”

He crossed the room and embraced her. She squeezed back tightly then reached up and kissed him.

”I missed you,” she told him.

”I missed you too.”

Jane looked towards the dining area and saw the table set with candles lit and flowers in the center.

“What's all this?” she asked.

”Happy 6 month anniversary!”

Jane’s eyes widened. “Oh my god, that’s today.” She stepped back and ran a hand through her hair. “Spencer, I am so sorry. I completely forgot!”

He pulled her back into his arms. “It’s ok, Jane.”

“It’s just that there’s a lot going on with everything that happened and, and I didn’t even realize Thanksgiving was this week until Wednesday,” Jane explained.

“Janey, It’s fine. Don’t apologize.”

Jane sighed. “Thank you for understanding.” She kissed him again.

“Of course. Everything should be ready in a few minutes and then we can eat.”

“Sounds perfect.” She pecked his cheek before going to put her stuff away while she waited.

Once the food was ready, they sat down and enjoyed a nice evening together.

In the middle of the night, Jane woke up from a nightmare. Trying not to disturb Spencer, she did her best to quietly get up and head to the bathroom. As soon as she closed the door, she rushed to the toilet and vomited. When she was finished, she sat back, covering her mouth to silence her sobs.

She stayed there for a few minutes, taking deep breaths to calm down, before going back to bed.

Fortunately, it appeared that Spencer had slept through everything.

The next day, Jane and Spencer lounged around all day. Jane felt tired and couldn’t seem to change her mood.

Sunday morning, Jane had a vivid dream in which she was tied up again. When she woke up, it felt as if Spencer’s arms around her were the restraints from her dream. She began to kick and scream, struggling to get out.

“Woah! Jane! Jane! It’s just me! Janey, calm down. It’s alright,” Spencer told her. “Breathe.”

Jane went still and breathed in and out a few times, calming down. “I’m sorry,” she told him.

“It’s ok. Shhh. You’re safe,” he assured her. “Why don’t I make us some breakfast?”

Jane nodded and he kissed her forehead before getting out of bed.

When breakfast was ready, Jane slowly got out of bed and came to the table to eat. She ate a few bites, but mainly just picked at her food.

Spencer watched her, concerned.

He set down his fork. “Jane, I think we should talk about what’s been happening,” he told her.

She stood up and moved to go sit on the couch, ignoring him. He also stood and followed, taking a seat next to her and taking her hands.

“Jane, look. It’s going to take some time to get over what happened to you but it’ll get better,” he assured her.

“You don’t know that!” Jane snapped, ripping her hands out of his and standing up. “You don’t understand. You have no idea what I’m going through.” Jane stormed out of the room and headed back to the bedroom, slamming the door.

Spencer chose to let her be, giving her time alone with her thoughts. She slept most of the day until he chanced going back there to talk to her again.

“Janey?” he whispered, coming in and sitting on the bed.

Jane rolled over away from him and covered her head with the blanket.

“Alright, you don’t have to talk. But you should know something.” Spencer sighed before continuing, “Around three years ago, I was abducted by an UNSUB. His name was Tobias Hankel.”

Jane took the covers off her face and turned to face him, sitting up as well.

“He repeatedly tortured me and forcibly injected Dilaudid into me and I nearly died.”

Jane looked down, ashamed of her reaction earlier. “I had no idea. I’m sorry.”

”It does get better, Jane. But it does no good to keep it all in.”

Jane leaned into him and he wrapped an arm around her.

”Want to go out to the couch and watch Christmas movies for the rest of the day?”

”OK,” Jane agreed. ~ On Monday, Jane had a doctor’s appointment to see how her recovery was going.

”Do you want me to come with?” Spencer asked.

”You can if you want. It’s up to you,” she told him. He decided to go with and went to also get ready.

The doctor informed her that her ribs would probably be healed in a week, but her lung would take up to four more weeks to heal completely.

On the way home, Reid decided to stop at work to get more paperwork.

”Aren’t you going to come up with me?” he asked Jane when he realized she wasn’t moving to get out of the car.

”I’m not going up there looking like this. I’m in sweats,” Jane told him.

”Janey, nobody cares what you’re wearing. They’d be happy to see you,” he insisted. Still, she refused. Spencer sighed and exited the car alone, heading into the building and up to the BAU.

“Hey pretty boy,” Morgan greeted him.

“Hey guys,” he replied, looking at Morgan and Garcia.

“Didn’t Jane have a doctor’s appointment this morning?” Garcia questioned.

“Yeah. We’re on the way home from it now. I wanted to pick up some paperwork.”

“So where’s Jane?”

Reid sighed. “Waiting in the car. She didn’t want to come up here ‘looking like she does’,” he explained, using air quotes.

“That doesn’t matter,” Morgan said.

“I know. I told her that, but she wouldn’t listen to me. She hasn’t been herself lately,” he confessed. “I’m worried about her.”

Before they could respond, JJ came over to them, informing the group that there was a case.

Reid nodded. “I’ll meet everyone on the jet and get caught up. I have to drive Jane home.”

When he got back to the car, he told Jane about the case and drove her home, dropping her off before turning around and driving back.

~ The next day Jane got a call from Jack.

“Hey Jane, so I thought about it and I’d like to move into your old apartment if you’re still ok with it,” he told her.

“Oh, Jack, that’s great!”

“How about we do it this weekend?”

“Hmm. Can we wait until January? I still can’t lift that much stuff and I’d like to help.”

“I think it’s better to do it sooner rather than later,” Jack insisted.

Jane thought for a moment before sighing, “Fine. I guess that can work. I’ll see if Morgan can help you guys.”

“Awesome! Just let me know. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright, bye.” Reid called later that night to check in on her. “Hey, how are you doing?”

“I’m alright. Jack called earlier. He’s agreed to move into my old apartment, but he wants to do it this weekend. Will you ask Morgan if he’ll help out?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Great. I’m pretty tired. I think I’m going to go to bed here soon.”

“Oh, alright. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jane hung up.

Spencer sighed and stared at his phone. She still sounded like she was in a gloomy mood. He thought of an idea and called up Garcia.

“Hey, Garcia.”

“Hey, I thought you guys were calling it a night?” she questioned.

“We are, but I want you to do something for me.”

“Of course. What is it?”

“Can you call Jane tomorrow and check in on her? I’m worried about her.”

“Sure thing!”

“Thank you, Garcia. I really appreciate it.

True to her word, Garcia called Jane the next day, but Jane didn’t pick up. She tried calling again a few times throughout the day but never got an answer. Remaining persistent, she decided to head to the apartment after work to check on her in person.

Jane laid on the couch, rereading the same paragraph of her book over and over again. She heard a knock at the door but ignored it.

“Jane? I know you’re in there,” she heard Garcia call through the door. “Please let me in.”

Jane set her book down but didn’t get up.

“I brought you a gift basket with bath goodies and some hot chocolate mix.”

Jane sighed and finally stood up, stretching before heading over to the door. She opened it then turned back around to return to the couch, not even offering Garcia a greeting. She sat back down and pulled her knees up to her chest.

“Jane, talk to me. Please?” Garcia pleaded, coming in and setting her gift basket down on the coffee table. She took a seat next to her on the couch and gingerly placed a caring hand on her shoulder.

Jane turned and looked at her. After a split second, she burst out crying.

“I’m so tired, Penelope!” she sobbed. “I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep cause when I sleep it’s like I’m back in that damn basement. And even when I’m awake I’m not always safe. Sometimes I have flashbacks to what happened. And it hurts! Ow!” She gasped in pain, clutching at her abdomen. “It hurts to cry because it upsets my ribs and lung which are still healing.”

“Oh, sweet girl! Come here!” Garcia told her. Jane moved to rest her head in her lap. “What you need is a girl’s night. Why don’t we watch romcoms and order a pizza?”

“Yeah,” Jane sniffed. “That sounds nice. Thanks, Pen.”

Spencer arrived home from the case on Thursday night and Jane greeted him with a kiss.

“I know you asked Garcia to check in on me while you were gone,” she told him.

“You do?” he asked, wary of her reaction.

“Yeah. Thank you for that. I really needed it.”

He sighed in relief then smiled. “You’re welcome. I’m glad she could help.”

On Saturday, Jack, Spencer, and Morgan worked to move Jane’s stuff into Spencer’s apartment. Then on Sunday, they drove to Richmond to put Jack’s things into a truck, drove back to Quantico, and moved his stuff into Jane’s old apartment.

When Spencer and Jane arrived home in their own apartment in the evening, Jane hugged Spencer and reached up to kiss his cheek.

Smiling up at him, she said, “Now we can officially call it ‘our’ apartment!”

Spencer grinned and kissed her.

~~~~~~~~~~

Bless The Broken Road Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List:

@cynbx @neon-deanmon @drw0301bieber @notsosmartbutcute@banananna99

#ionlyreadfivebookslastweek #bless the broken road #cm #criminalminds #criminal minds #Spencer reid #spencer #dr. spencer reid #reid #oc #multific #multipart #spencer x oc #spencer reid x oc #dr. Spencer reid x oc #reid x oc

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matthewxdavidson · 5 years

Text

Night Before... || Mattcedes

Tagging: Matthew Davidson & Mercedes Jones Where: Mercedes’ room When: July 27, 2019 - Sometime after 1am Notes: none

Matt

Matt asked Blaine to meet with him that night, full knowing he’d not be okay with what’s happening the next day. This year he’d been hit with one blow after the next and his heart and head were tired. He put on the usual charm. Cracked jokes and did what most people have come to expect from him. These faces were well worn and slid on easy but it didn’t mean he wasn’t ready to just set them aside and slip away from the world for awhile. It was well past midnight by this point, Matt unable to hear the sound of music and singing from the room he rented for Mercedes’ bachelorette party. He thought he’d risk seeing her and hope she was in her room and not over at Jackson’s. Or Jackson’s at hers. His hand went up and knocked on her door, hoping this wasn’t some type of mistake.

Mercy

Mercedes had had fun at the reception dinner and at the at the surprise party, friends and family, everyone came out and she just enjoyed herself. About 11 she grew tired and knew she needed her rest. So saying goodbye to the girls she made her way back to her room and skype called Jackson like she promised. They had spoken for about 30 minutes when she knew they should both get some sleep. The knock on her door came as a surprise cause she didn't know who would be visiting her the night before her wedding. Opening the door she was shocked to see Matt. "Matt- what are you doing here?"

Matt

He thought he’d be a drunk mess by this point of the night but he was stone cold sober, which was for the best. He smiled and crossed his arms. “What? A guy can’t pay his best friend a late night visit the night before she gets married?” There was a small smile with this. “Can I come in? I promise to be a gentleman to Mr. Snuggles.”

Mercy

"I guess it would depend on why you are here? Why are you here Matt?" She sighed at his question and moved to the side. "What's going on?"

Matt

“Why are you making it seem like I’m here because I’m up to no good?” He looked around and then back to her. “I don’t want to do this out here. I actually have something I want to say.”

Mercy

"Cause ever since I have known you you have been pretty much up to no good." She teased. Looking at him, she shut the door and wrapped her robe around herself. "Okay...."

Matt

“I have my good moments! This is one of them, I swear.” Matt went into the room and spied the pink and purple zebra. He walked over and picked it up before turning around with it in his hands. “Okay. I got what I came for. Time for me to go back to my room.” He pretended to leave but laughed at himself. Matt sat on the edge of her bed instead and looked at her. “I can’t believe tomorrow is the big day. There have been many times I’ve thought of how this day would go down. Even considered stopping the wedding but I know that won’t go over well. I also know you’ve got some serious feelings for Jack. I can tell with the way you talk about him. This look you get.”

Mercy

Mercedes blocked the door the moment he grabbed Mr. Snuggles. She rolled her eyes with a smiled as he pretended to leave but then sat down. She moved to sit next to him. "Yeah it feels like its been longer than six months. Way longer than six months. So much has happened and I don't really know how to deal with all of them. I mean I thought this would be me and you. We would say a big screw you to my dad and I would be your wife. But stuff happens, people change or want different things, or hurt you. And you just have to adjust." She ran her hands through her hair. "But I do like him, a lot. I still just have so many feelings."

Matt

Matt listened and set the zebra aside so he could take her hand. “Or people are too scared about breaking contract and dealing with not just the fines and jail time but the fall out. At least with this you’ll have a good man and your family. If I’d have gone and married you we’d have each other but your parents would be out of the picture. As crazy and controlling I think your dad is. After seeing how he was at the fire...he loves you too damn much. I think it would break him if you ever broke his heart.” Matt licked his lips and turned his head. He came here to talk about something else and didn’t anticipate this. Tears stung his eyes and he looked away.

Mercy

Mercedes shook her head. "If he loved me at all he wouldn't have done this. I am all for people getting married but at least let them choose who they want to marry!" She sighted. "And if it was that important for the two to get married they would of. You wanted to Be with El and she was al-" Mercedes stopped herself from continuing. "Sorry, none of that matters. You came to tell me something?"

Matt

He wanted to shake her when it came to Ellie. But she had some sort of selective amnesia when it come to it and would it actually matter? “I swear to fucking God. The next time you bring up Ellie and how I wanted to be with her you won’t hear from me for awhile. Ellie was very aggressive and she basically wore me down and...you’re right. It’s the past. If we’re meant to come back to each other then we will. I just want you happy and not dealing with anything bad.” His hand went through his hair and then he took her hand. “You know I love you, right?”

Mercy

Mercedes turned to him. "If I am not allowed to say anything else about her then I have to say this. It doesn't matter if she was aggressive, it doesn't matter if its what she wanted. You and I, we had something special. I knew if from the moment you kissed me. It wasn't because you saved my life, or because you were my best friend. It was because you were you. And when I asked you to marry me you said no. And it hurt but I stayed in your life because I got it. But when you came over to my house, and told me you and her were going to be together. That hurt me more than anything ever could. It didn't matter if I was falling for Jack or said we couldn't be anything. It meant you were willing to risk it all to be with her. But not me. Your side is your side but thats all i see when I think about it." She wiped her eyes. "I really do like Jackson, and I am glad that I took the time to get to know him, and that I am marrying someone like him. But I know marrying him means I have to let go of all the past hurt and everything." He took her hand and she nodded. "I know."

Matt

This talk wasn’t going at all as planned and Matt looked at their hands and a few tears actually worked their way down his cheeks. It was a fight he knew he’d have to put behind him. If he wanted to make things work with Bri and for Mercedes to have true happiness then what they had. What they shared. It was just a memory. Something they couldn’t have again. He moved and placed his arms around her, hugging her in a way he knew he wouldn’t be able to after today. “This isn’t what I came to talk about but I know I’m going to miss this part of us. The part that is filled with all the love I have for you.”

Mercy

She laid on his shoulder and sighed. "I am gonna miss you too. So much. I just had to get that out Matt. Truthfully and in my heart I know you never wanted to hurt me, that you loved me, love me more. But it was weighing on me and now I can forgive it, forgive it and let go. But you have to forgive yourself too. We all make choices and its easy to hold on to the pain, because we feel we deserve it. You don't deserve the pain. You were good to me while we were together, so amazing. And despite how I felt about her and her actions I know El truly loved you. Let go of the pain you have from what happened with us and what happened with you and her. Let go so you can be happy okay?"

Matt

His hand went to her cheek and Matt’s lips met her forehead. He pressed a firm kiss there and brought his lips to hers and gave her the lightest of kisses. “I will.” His forehead pressed against hers and sighed. “Jesus. I wasn’t planning on coming over and crying but I know this is something we needed.” His hand remained on her cheek and Matt looked at her. At the love of his life. “I want you to have the best future, Mercedes. I want it filled with so much laughter and promise. That you’ll have that future from that dream you told me about.”

Mercy

Mercedes laughed. Matt kissed her softly and she smiled at him. "Crying is good for the soul. You are my best friend Matty and I think in order for us to move on from the past then we need to be honest and I am glad that we are being honest with each other. Glad we are on the same page about that." She sighed. "I want you to have the best future too Matt. All those things you wish for me I wish the same for you."

Matt

“We’re just going to keep going and going with what we want each other to have.” He brushed her cheek and longed to kiss her again, but he couldn’t. Once was already crossing a line. “Okay.” He moved back but still held her hand. “You know how much my grandmother adored you. How you would hang out. She’d cook and talk to you in the kitchen and always make sure you were invited to everything ala Davidson?”

Mercy

Mercedes nodded. "I think you and Bri, I think you guy are well on your way." She wiped her eyes and listened to him, she loved his grandmother, the woman always made her feel like family. "Yeah I remember."

Matt

He and Bri could have something great, but he knew a lot of that was being held back due to him and with what happened months ago with the whole Ellie situation. Bri rarely brought it up but it had to have made her think he was incapable of getting his shit together. Then again, that could all be in his head. "When she passed away we each got some things of hers. And there was something she wanted you to have, but only on your wedding day. She-" he paused and closed his eyes as he looked away and said, "she thought you and I were going to get married. She'd talk about you like you were my wife." he laughed and pushed his hand into his pocket. He removed a necklace with a sapphire stone. "It was one of the only pieces of jewelry she owned before my family had money. I updated the chain but the stone is all hers." He brought it out and showed it to her. "I know it'll mean a lot to he if you wore this tomorrow. If you make this your something blue."

Mercy

Mercedes was surprised that his grandmother left her something but she shouldn't have been. Seeing the necklace brought tears to her eyes all over again. "Oh my Gosh.." She took the necklace in her hand. "I always told her it looked like the necklace from the titanic...and she always said that Rose was a self fool and there was enough room for Jack on the boat. Every time." she laughed. "Matt I cant take this. It belongs in your family. She thought you would give it to your wife. Bri should have it."

Matt

He shook his head and moved so he could put it on her. "She said you. Mercedes. You and she were close and she loved you." He wasn't going to take it back, not when it always belonged to her. "If only there's a way she can see this but I have a feeling she knows." he said after he managed to get the clasp and moved around to see it on her. "I can only imagine how that will look with your dress. It'll probably be eaten by your cleavage. Lets be real."

Mercy

Matt put the necklace on her neck and she looked down looking at it. "Its so beautiful." She wiped her eyes. "She was the best. I missed her everyday." She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Had to ruin it didn't you? Couldn't just let me enjoy this moment?"

Matt

"Wouldn't want it any other way," he said with a smirk. "But I'm glad I was able to get that to you tonight. It's kind of why I wanted to know if you'd be with Jack or not. It'd be weird for me to show up and give you a necklace in front of him."

Mercy

Mercedes sighed. "Yeah, you just missed him though." she said with a smile. "We skyped for a bit before bed." She reached down for the necklace. "This is incredible though. You are so much like her you know that?"

Matt

"I heard she was an absolute horn dog in her day, so yeah. I can see the resemblance." That wasn't true and Mercedes knew it. Matt picked Mr. Snuggles back up and hugged him to his chest. "I'm going to miss these late nights with you. Our talks. The sleepovers. How we'd watch the dumbest movies imaginable and mute them to come up with our own dialogue." He looked down at the zebra and pressed his chin atop his head. "I'd say we're growing up way too fast but I'm thirty and you're an age that's not thirty. I know better than to tell a woman's age."

Mercy

Mercedes laughed hitting his shoulder softly. "She was not and she made me hit you." Mercedes watched him for a moment. "Look how about once a month we have a sleep over. Like we used too. We can even invite Bri and Jack and it will be like us hanging out 2.0?"

Matt

"An adult sleepover? Sounds like the start to some of the porns I watch." he teased and nodded. "But yeah. If it's something we can do I'm down. I know Bri wouldn't mind it. Still not sure how Jack feels when it comes to me but I hope he comes around at some point and doesn't think I'm trying to come between you."

Mercy

Mercedes laughed. "It should be fun, at least I think it will and Jack will come around once we are married and he sees you with Bri, when I saw you guys on Monday it was clear you have fun together. He will see that too."

Matt

"I think she's going to start wearing her cold cream ala Mrs Doubtfire. You know, with actual cake frosting." Matt said, laughing. "But yeah. I hope that's what happens. You're too big a part in my life and I can't lose you. I think I might lose my mind if we stop talking." Matt moved Mr. Snuggles away from his chest and he booped her against Mercedes' nose. "Alright. I know you need to get some sleep and I should head back to my room."

Mercy

"Okay thats cute." She laughed. "Matt you will never lose me we are a packaged deal. Its just weird for him because of you and me and you and El but he will be okay. I think we all will." She laughed at the boop and stood. "Thank you for the talk and for this.."

Matt

"Yeah," he said as he got to his feet and started the walk towards the door. "Good thing you were still up." He reached the door and went to turn the knob but stopped. His tongue went between his teeth and he thought to say something. To tell her to give him a sign if she needed him to stop the wedding. Some sort of way out of the whole thing but what way could there be? They were trapped in these arrangements. He turned around and looked at her. A soft smile spread across his lips and he reached to take hold of her wrist and tugged her to his body again. Matt wrapped her into another hug and he pressed his face into her neck, breathing her in and feeling her warmth against his own. It would be so easy to just undo her robe and kiss her the way he used to but he knew better. He couldn't do that to her. "I love you."

Mercy

Mercedes sighed and looked over to him as he left, and when he pulled her over to him she hugged him tightly. "I love you too Matty." She held him for another moment, knowing they both needed the hug. "I will see you tomorrow. And thank you, thank you for being her for me." She pulled away from him and smiled. Good night Matt."

Matt

His fingers went through her hair and he brought them down to her chin, giving it a little playful squeeze before smiling, “Good night, Mrs. Pierce. The next time we talk you’ll be a married woman.” He turned around and walked out. As soon as he was a good distance away Matt pressed his back against the wall and let out a shuddering breath. A cry he’d been holding in after he said her new last name slipped out and he silently wept, eventually dragging his forearm across his eyes and collecting himself. He had no fucking idea how he’ll make it through that wedding tomorrow but he’ll do it.

He’ll do it for her.

#para: mercedes

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