#I want to COMMIT. I WANT TO DIE.
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#Why I feel so stupid infodumping about my ocs 😭😭😭#I realize the person isn't listening and I awkwardly flounder off and my brain is screaming 'find a stopping point hurry!!'#His name is Neel well actually Neel is his caretaker alter his real name is Blue but he is trans so his legal name is smth different um.#he. uh. he is named Blue um kind of like your character named Blue haha um. didn't mean to steal lul um...... yeah......#I want to COMMIT. I WANT TO DIE.#I want to DIE but mostly I want to talk about things I care about without making myself sick with hatred :((
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todd's birthday scene from the original script (that was later changed) makes me want to kms
#five ninety eight 😭😭😭#i want to die why was this removed#btw this was replaced by the flying deskset scene#im gonna commit arson#dps#dead poets society#dead poet’s society#todd anderson#neil perry#anderperry
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Normal teens being so normal it's crazy
Tblr ate up the last npmd fanart I drew so a sequel was in order
#I love them help#I originally only wanted to draw Grace but my hand slipped#Yes they commit attrocities and wear silly shirts 🤡#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#grace chasity#max jagerman#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#I think tumblr tags hated name dropping the Lord oops#starkid
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SKULLY HAS RAIDED MERA'S BLOG!!!???
Skully over shining Zuzu?
UNFORTUNATELY...... yes,,, (˃̣̣̥ᯅ˂̣̣̥) WAAAA I AM SO SORRY, ZUZU!!!! My heart is just too big and I fell for the dead guy with his Victorian rizz and kiss addiction. I couldn't help it...... he charmed me. This obsession is terrible, dear Izuna!!!! OTL he's completely taken over my brain,,, a parasite that I can't shake!! >:(
He's so precious,,, my beloved King of Halloween, oh how I adore you most ardently. <3 I wish him nothing but peace and happiness forever hehe.
#twisted chit chat#video-game-luvr#AND THEN THEY KILLED HIM#THEY KILLED HIM AND NOW I'LL NEVER KNOW HAPPINESS 。°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°。#i need to write so much angst and fluff with him to cope with this sadness in my heart...#how is twst going to let me have a meaningful bond with skully and then RIP HIM FROM OUT OF MY ARMS?!?!?!?!#the amnesia is bad enough now they have to make him dead too T_T#when i catch you twst... when i catch you!!!!!!!#i need to write him in the plot of 'saishuu senkoku' where he's a lousy grim reaper trying to get you to commit suicide and reap your soul#but because he's so bad at his job it only makes you want to live even more just to spite him#something something skully inadvertently helping you find the will and meaning to live#something something the final declaration of 'i want to live' rather than 'i want to die'#skully with that song is so *chef's kiss* to me#my favorite mafu song... everything about it is just so good#AAAA I RAMBLED A LOT ;;;;
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what kind of frivolity would you engage in, mecha?
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#mecha sonic#scrapnik mecha sonic#scrapnik island#sonic fanart#sonic fandom#arting#msab#good MORNING. i have given myself many emotions about mecha's big stupid cape. like a fool. such is the way i suppose#god ive been dying to get to this one. do you get it. do you understand#victories; if not on your own terms. achievements; if not the ones you thought you wanted. childhood dreams that never die.#which on that note yeah this is also my favorite one for showing eggman-era mecha as like#''yeah hes hes the most arrogant and murderous jackass on the planet but hes also like 17.''#& therefore kind of a lame little nerd by default. he thinks capes are sooooooo coool#we were all stupid kids once but sometimes u get older and u still wanna paint your house purple. and sometimes u still want a cool cape#it occurs to me that actual 17-year-olds may see this and to that i say: sorry. you guys are fine do ya thang.#its just that im 29 and have grey hair and shit so i have a certain Perspective on being 17 is all. & scrapnik mecha is like mid-30's to me#i knoooowwww he loves his big stupid cape so much. look at the refsheets with his dumbass spines poking holes through the the hood#tell me he has not made a COMMITMENT to wearing that hood despite being built in a way that makes that incredibly inconvenient#u look at nathalie fourdraine's christmas scrapniks post and tell me he isnt having so much fun#being all decorated and swishing around in that Even Bigger And Stupider Cape & shawl w/ his friends#hes so funny for that he's generally such a serious kinda character but on god he does also love some showmanship and flashiness.#i want to make it clear btw i also think capes are awesome i literally cosplay a guy with Two [2] capes.#& mecha is basically the coolest ever. but also hes still funny for that
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REGRET REGRET REGRET REGRET I'LL JUST USE THE DAMN TEARS I'M SO SORRY OH MY FREAKING GOSH
#gummy says stuff#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT MY FAMILY WATCHING ME COMMIT DIE NO THANK YOU#BONNIE AND MIRA AND ODILE AND ISA!!!! NONONONONONON NEVER AGAIN#SORRY LOOP I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED I'M SO SORRY
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okay so. like. wan ed 12. dazai is stopped by a log in the river and starts actually drowning. funny haha wan bit.
but repeating something ive said (hi haven) i think this is actually a really good example for how ada dazai doesn't really want to kill himself. he could've actually drowned here. thats his 'goal' right? but the moment it starts happening he's trying to get his head back above water.
"I thought I was dead"
hilariously wet and horrified or not he obviously didn't want to die here. theres nobody around to hear what he said anymore anyway. and that's why, despite being yk... a wan ending animation? i still think this is such like. a case in point.
#i think its obvious from how unlikely to work his other attempts are in the ada#things like the oil drum or the mushrooms. asking woman to commit double suicide. all of that has such a low chance of working. its-#-humorous even. when he meets atsushi kunikida gets there shortly after. even if atsushi wasnt there he was DEFINITELY not planning on dying#anyway this is aether taking things too seriously and getting ill about it#im not saying ada dazai isnt still aiming to die we've all talked about the martyr behavior#but hes not really trying to die via suicide#anyway shout out to my bestest friend haven(-gum-rockrose) for sending me a song for the dazai playlist which made me ill and then prompted#me to find this clip later in the conversation#which then lead to me talking here#hurrah 🎉‼️#longer post#theory time w/ aether#it's not actually i just want to find this later
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Already trying to figure out how to draw the NPCs— starting with a handful of the children I expect we’re going to be seeing again. I’m excited to see how much my designs for them change as we go along!
#considering previous seasons I’m so excited to see how the dang kids get severely traumatized#not committing to any colors outside of Bibi’s blue— both for her name and bow#~~post cancelled i think the bow is pink~~#Bibi has a unibrow since that’s what it looks like on the cover art and i think she’d be able to make it work rn#i just saw a picture of Bibi that wasn’t my super crunched quality close up i think I’m gonna let myself die now#gonna redraw her for my own personal redemption#Milton is Milton. He sucks but tbh i like him#Hermie started weird too i believe in a Milton redemption arc /J#… /hj#Molly is uncertain— i wanted her to be punk but she’s like 12 so she’s like.#a 13 year old under the thumb of her parents trying to be punk when she can’t even buy her own clothes#I want Timmy to look the most like his mother out of all of the kids#anyways Timmy about to lose his bed privileges#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads spoilers#dndads season 3#the Peachyville horror#the Peachyville horror spoilers#Britannia Blue#Milton Grammar#Molly MacArthur#Timmy Trout
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2 | NEON from @falloutober prompts i swear im not gonna make all these prompts about nick
#oh man that background took me way too long#i was wondering recently about contrast in my pieces#my art is always so soft and i guess thats not a bad thing some people might even say its my *style*#i dont really mind but its not really an artistic choice - more a lack of commitment you know#i think im afraid to go BOLD#so i really wanted to yk try to really embrace the *noir* vibe#*snorts* my art style is just die and retry#fallout 4#falloutober2023#nick valentine#fallout companions#fallout 4 fanart#fo4#ftcat ftcating
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closing time
#you know situation's dire when sparks breaks out the color block sona vent art LOOOOOOOL#sparks speaks#vent#again to all my new-ish followers i do post stuff like this from time 2 time PLEASE block one of those tags if you don't want to see it#long post#edit: fine to rb idgas#ummm NEway. i go back to college in like a month and the thought of it makes me want to curl up and die. idk if i can do it again tbh lol#i dont know how i survived the first time#<- LYING he does. and it was by letting the dissociation he is currently bitching about swallow him completely#if i really committed and tried i could probably claw my way out of this. but there's really no point when i'll just fall back into it soon#the forgetting my entire life does suck though. it does suck.#its really cool learning you've lost the only thing you thought you couldn't lose.#anyways. i'm fine im chillin i just. needed to get this out#if youre reading this preciate you. drink water
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#the truest repairman posts#Like man. Can you shut up or die#I acknowledge this perspective doesn’t help anyone but lordddd. I do want to commit acts of violence even if I’m self aware enough not to
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Sometimes I stare at the wall and am thankful that Suzzane Collins never made Katniss explicitly choose between Peeta and Prim at the other’s expense in the story. I don’t think I’d be able to cope with any situation that would have arise from that choice.
#THE BEACH SCENE DOESNT COUNT KATNKSS THINKS SHE GONNA DIE EVENTUALLY#sorry this came up while I was writing my Bachelor Peeta AU and it’s crushing me#I know in my heart that Katniss would choose Prim frist#but the heartbreak of loosing Peeta as a consequence makes me want to commit sudoku#just throw myself off a Cliff#I want to cry#because Peeta is never anyone’s first pick and he would def want Katniss to pick Prim anyway#and I just#😭😭😭😭😭#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#the hunger games#thg
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oooh please someday tell us what you think of GOT
oh, no, it's my fatal weakness! it's [checks notes] literally just the bare modicum of temptation! okay you got me.
SO. in order to tell what's wrong with game of thrones you kind of have to have read the books, because the books are the reason the show goes off the rails. i actually blame the showrunners relatively little in proportion to GRRM for how bad the show was (which I'm not gonna rehash here because if you're interested in GOT in any capacity you've already seen that horse flogged to death). people debate when GOT "got bad" in terms of writing, but regardless of when you think it dropped off, everyone agrees the quality declined sharply in season 8, and to a certain extent, season 7. these are the seasons that are more or less entirely spun from whole cloth, because season 7 marks the beginning of what will, if we ever see it, be the Winds of Winter storyline. it's the first part that isn't based on a book by George R.R. Martin. it's said that he gave the showrunners plot outlines, but we don't know how detailed they were, or how much the writers diverged from the blueprint — and honestly, considering the cumulative changes made to the story by that point, some stark divergence would have been required. (there's a reason for this. i'll get there in a sec.)
so far, i'm not saying anything all that original. a lot of people recognized how bad the show got as soon as they ran out of Book to adapt. (I think it's kind of weird that they agreed to make a show about an unfinished series in the first place — did GRRM figure that this was his one shot at a really good HBO adaptation, and forego misgivings about his ability to write two full books in however many years it took to adapt? did he think they would wait for him? did he not care that the series would eventually spoil his magnum opus, which he's spent the last three decades of his life writing? perplexing.) but the more interesting question is why the show got bad once it ran out of Book, because in my mind, that's not a given. a lot of great shows depart from the books they were based on. fanfiction does exactly that, all the time! if you have good writers who understand the characters they're working with, departure means a different story, not a worse one. now, the natural reply would be to say that the writers of GOT just aren't good, or at least aren't good at the things that make for great television, and that's why they needed the books as a structure, but I don't think that's true or fair, either. books and television are very different things. the pacing of a book is totally different from the pacing of a television show, and even an episodic book like ASOIAF is going to need a lot of work before it's remotely watchable as a series. bad writers cannot make great series of television, regardless of how good their source material is. sure, they didn't invent the characters of tyrion lannister and daenerys targaryen, but they sure as hell understood story structure well enough to write a damn compelling season of TV about them!
so but then: what gives? i actually do think it's a problem with the books! the show starts out as very faithful to the early books (namely, A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings) to the point that most plotlines are copied beat-for-beat. the story is constructed a little differently, and it's definitely condensed, but the meat is still there. and not surprisingly, the early books in ASOIAF are very tightly written. for how long they are, you wouldn't expect it, but on every page of those books, the plot is racing. you can practically watch george trying to beat the fucking clock. and he does! useful context here is that he originally thought GOT was going to be a trilogy, and so the scope of most threads in the first book or two would have been much smaller. it also helps that the first three books are in some respects self-contained stories. the first book is a mystery, the second and third are espionage and war dramas — and they're kept tight in order to serve those respective plots.
the trouble begins with A Feast for Crows, and arguably A Storm of Swords, because GRRM starts multiplying plotlines and treating the series as a story, rather than each individual book. he also massively underestimated the number of pages it would take him to get through certain plot beats — an assumption whose foundation is unclear, because from a reader's standpoint, there is a fucke tonne of shit in Feast and Dance that's spurious. I'm not talking about Brienne's Riverlands storyline (which I adore thematically but speaking honestly should have been its own novella, not a part of Feast proper). I'm talking about whole chapters where Tyrion is sitting on his ass in the river, just talking to people. (will I eat crow about this if these pay off in hugely satisfying ways in Winds or Dream? oh, totally. my brothers, i will gorge myself on sweet sweet corvid. i will wear a dunce cap in the square, and gleefully, if these turn out to not have been wastes of time. the fact that i am writing this means i am willing to stake a non-negligible amount of pride on the prediction that that will not happen). I'm talking about scenes where the characters stare at each other and talk idly about things that have already happened while the author describes things we already have seen in excruciating detail. i'm talking about threads that, while forgivable in a different novel, are unforgivable in this one, because you are neglecting your main characters and their story. and don't tell me you think that a day-by-day account tyrion's river cruise is necessary to telling his story, because in the count of monte cristo, the main guy disappears for nine years and comes hurtling back into the story as a vengeful aristocrat! and while time jumps like that don't work for everything, they certainly do work if what you're talking about isn't a major story thread!
now put aside whether or not all these meandering, unconcluded threads are enjoyable to read (as, in fairness, they often are!). think about them as if you're a tv showrunner. these bad boys are your worst nightmare. because while you know the author put them in for a reason, you haven't read the conclusion to the arc, so you don't know what that reason is. and even if the author tells you in broad strokes how things are going to end for any particular character (and this is a big "if," because GRRM's whole style is that he lets plots "develop as he goes," so I'm not actually convinced that he does have endings written out for most major characters), that still doesn't help you get them from point A (meandering storyline) to point B (actual conclusion). oh, and by the way, you have under a year to write this full season of television, while GRRM has been thinking about how to end the books for at least 10. all of this means you have to basically call an audible on whether or not certain arcs are going to pay off, and, if they are, whether they make for good television, and hence are worth writing. and you have to do that for every. single. unfinished. story. in the books.
here's an example: in the books, Quentin Martell goes on a quest to marry Daenerys and gain a dragon. many chapters are spent detailing this quest. spoiler alert: he fails, and he gets charbroiled by dragons. GRRM includes this plot to set up the actions of House Martell in Winds, but the problem is that we don't know what House Martell does in Winds, because (see above) the book DNE. So, although we can reliably bet that the showrunners understand (1) Daenerys is coming to Westeros with her 3 fantasy nukes, and (2) at some point they're gonna have to deal with the invasion of frozombies from Canada, that DOESN'T mean they necessarily know exactly what's going to happen to Dorne, or House Martell. i mean, fuck! we don't even know if Martin knows what's going to happen to Dorne or House Martell, because he's said he's the kind of writer who doesn't set shit out beforehand! so for every "Cersei defaults on millions of dragons in loans from the notorious Bank of Nobody Fucks With Us, assumes this will have no repercussions for her reign or Westerosi politics in general" plotline — which might as well have a big glaring THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT stamp on top of the chapter heading — you have Arianne Martell trying to do a coup/parent trap switcheroo with Myrcella, or Euron the Goffick Antichrist, or Faegon Targaryen and JonCon preparing a Blackfyre restoration, or anything else that might pan out — but might not! And while that uncertainty about what's important to the "overall story" might be a realistic way of depicting human beings in a world ruled by chance and not Destiny, it makes for much better reading than viewing, because Game of Thrones as a fantasy television series was based on the first three books, which are much more traditional "there is a plot and main characters and you can generally tell who they are" kind of book. I see Feast and Dance as a kind of soft reboot for the series in this respect, because they recenter the story around a much larger cast and cast a much broader net in terms of which characters "deserve" narrative attention.
but if you're making a season of television, you can't do that, because you've already set up the basic premise and pacing of your story, and you can't suddenly pivot into a long-form tone poem about the horrors of war. so you have to cut something. but what are you gonna cut? bear in mind that you can't just Forget About Dorne, or the Iron Islands, or the Vale, or the North, or pretty much any region of the story, because it's all interconnected, but to fit in everything from the books would require pacing of the sort that no reasonable audience would ever tolerate. and bear in mind that the later books sprout a lot more of these baby-plots that could go somewhere, but also might end up being secondary or tertiary to the "main story," which, at the end of the day, is about dragons and ice zombies and the rot at the heart of the feudal power system glorified in classical fantasy. that's the story that you as the showrunner absolutely must give them an end to, and that's the story that should be your priority 1.
so you do a hack and slash job, and you mortar over whatever you cut out with storylines that you cook up yourself, but you can't go too far afield, because you still need all the characters more or less in place for the final showdown. so you pinch here and push credulity there, and you do your best to put the characters in more or less the same place they would have been if you kept the original, but on a shorter timeframe. and is it as good as the first seasons? of course not! because the material that you have is not suited to TV like the first seasons are. and not only that, but you are now working with source material that is actively fighting your attempt to constrain a linear and well-paced narrative on it. the text that you're working with changed structure when you weren't looking, and now you have to find some way to shanghai this new sprawling behemoth of a Thing into a television show. oh, and by the way, don't think that the (living) author of the source material will be any help with this, because even though he's got years of experience working in television writing, he doesn't actually know how all of these threads will tie together, which is possibly the reason that the next book has taken over 8 years (now 13 and counting) to write. oh and also, your showrunners are sick of this (in fairness, very difficult) job and they want to go write for star wars instead, so they've refused the extra time the studio offered them for pre-production and pushed through a bunch of first-draft scripts, creating a crunch culture of the type that spawns entirely avoidable mistakes, like, say, some poor set designer leaving a starbucks cup in frame.
anyway, that's what I think went wrong with game of thrones.
#using the tags as a footnote system here but in order:#1. quentin MAY not be dead according to some theories but in the text he is a charred corpse#2. arianne is great and i love her but to be honest. my girl is kinda dumb. just 2 b real.#3. faegon is totally a blackfyre i think it's so obvious it may well be text at this point#it's almost r+l = j level man like it's kind of just reading comprehension at this point#4. relatedly there are some characters i think GRRM has endings picked out for and some i think he specifically does NOT#i think stannis melisandre jon and daenerys all will end up the same. jon and dany war crimes => murder/banishment arc is just classic GRRM#but i think jon's reasoning will be different and it'll be better-written.#im sorry but babygirl shireen IS getting flambeed. in response stannis will commit epic battle suicide killing all boltons i hope#brienne will live but in some tragic 'stay awhile horatio' capacity. likely she will try to die defending her liege and fail#faegon will die there's zero chance blackfyres win ever#now jaime/cersei I do NOT think he knows. my brothers in christ i don't think this motherfucker knows who the valonqar is!!#same with tyrion i think that the author in GRRM wants to do a nasty corruption arc + kill him off but the person in him loves him too much#sansa i have no goddamn idea what's going to happen. we just don't know enough about the northern conspiracy to tell#w/ arya i think he has... ideas. i don't think she's going to sail off to Explore i am almost certain that the show doing that was a cover#because the actual idea he gave them was unsavory or nonviable for some reason. bc like.#why would arya leave bran and jon and sansa? the family she's just spent her whole life fighting to come back to and avenge?#this is suspicious this does not feel like arya this does not feel right#bran will not be king or if he is it'll be in a VERY different way not the dumbfuck 'let's vote' bullshit#i personally think bran is going to go full corruption arc and become possessed by the 3 eyed raven. but that could be a pipe dream#the thing is he's way too OP in the show so the books have to nerf him and i think GRRM is still trying to work out#a way to actually do that.#i don't think he told them what happened with littlefinger or sansa. i think sansa's story is vaguely similar#(stark restoration through the female line etc)#but the queen in the north shit is way too contrived frankly. and selfishly i hope she gets something different#being a monarch in ASOIAF is not a happy ending. we know this from the moment we meet robert baratheon in AGOT#and we learn exactly what GRRM thinks of the people who 'win' these endless wars of succession#and they are not heroes#they are not celebrated#and they are neither safe nor happy
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#can i yap for a moment#im extremely sleepy but im feeling very upset and mad and confused#also lowkey questioning whether me feeling all that is justified or if i am overreacting#anyway#made out w a boy tonight#and he wanted to go to his place#and i was like no i wanna stay and dance with my girlies#and he gets upset??#asking why i'd kiss him if i don't wanna hook up and i said i just wanna have fun?#made me feel so stupid#that anger in me led to a little fight with another boy (who was unfortunately very cute) and i just wanted to punch him#i just hate when boys think they're so superior#so i argued with this stupid but hot man#until an ex? friend shows up and he was pretty drunk just yapping about things#anyway he basically told me he'd like to rekindle our friendship#but not in a heyy haven't talked in so long let's meet up again#it was in a heyy let's hang out again got a new big car and moved out of my parent's house 😋#which gave me the ick bc that's why we aren't friends anymore and i told him no multiple times#and got sad bc he was one of my closest friends#anyway and then we left the party#this guy pulls me aside the parking lot#and i was so embarrassed bc there were so many people and they were all looking and i could already see people gossiping about it#and i just wanted to die#and then he just CONFESSES??#gives me flowers and all which is saur saur cute#but i legit have zero feelings for him </3#and have commitment issues and have never been in a relationship and don't wanna be in one#actually grosses me out thinking about relationships </3#the confession was so random and i kinda lost another friendship? even tho i wouldn't rlly consider him a friend we just share sum classes#but yeah boys are so stupid and confusing and i dunno how and why i get myself into these situations :') m sorry just needed to rant </3
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My beautiful paladin Odell and her horrible little favorite victor
#curse of strahd#victor vallakovich#Odell#pk draws#dnd#pk cos#she looks like a paragon of goodness when she is actually pretty morally fucked up#victor looks and is morally fucked up but#I don’t think he thinks she couldn’t care less what atrocities he’s committed as long as he wants to get better and she projects her own#issues on him????#she will die for him
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A car, a torch, a death
#I was listening to twenty one pilots and kept visualizing animatic ideas but especially for a car a torch a death#and specifically this being like the ending scene. Of course I don't have the motivation to commit to full animatics right now#but I really wanted to doodle this scene so I was like 'time to throw some colors around I guess'#it's kinda hard to see anything cause it's so dark and the colors and everything look better on my computer than on my phone :/#my art#yttd#shin yttd#shin tsukimi#your turn to die#described#shin ☘️
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