#five ninety eight đđđ
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todd's birthday scene from the original script (that was later changed) makes me want to kms
#five ninety eight đđđ#i want to die why was this removed#btw this was replaced by the flying deskset scene#im gonna commit arson#dps#dead poets society#dead poetâs society#todd anderson#neil perry#anderperry
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hii!! First of all ur theme is so aesthetically pleasing and I love all the nagi. I like binge read all of your event works and *chefs kiss*. Could I request a piece for karasu with the theme of like academic rivals/classmates? No worries if not, hoping ur doing well and taking care of urself!
On an unrelated note I saw that post about rude comments and im so sorry thatâs happening to you! I honestly donât know what drives ppl to bother leaving nasty comments esp when itâs not like theyâre being forced to read anything T-T Hoping to send you a bit of love to counter those trolls!
ââ FIVE WAYS TO KILL A CROW
Synopsis: Crows are clingy birds, and Tabito Karasuâs feelings are hurt easier than you realize. (part two here!) (part three here!)
Event Masterlist
Pairing: Karasu x Reader
Chapter Word Count: 9.1k
Content Warnings: academic rivals to lovers, karasu is an asshole, reader is also an asshole, jealous karasu đ, hiori randomly pulls up at one point for some reason??, yukimiya requests to follow one (1) person and accidentally causes the most dramatic pseudo breakup ever
A/N: anon i used to pray for times like these đđŠ LMAOAO karasu is my fav (behind nagi ofc) but iâve never gotten around to writing him so getting this request made me SO excited HAHA. i havenât done anything rivals/enemies to lovers before so fingers crossed this doesnât feel too awkward or unrealistic or rushed anything!! and yayyy i love my little nagi theme (and also nagi in general) iâm glad you like it too!! and my writing too, youâre so sweet 𼚠there will always be jerks unfortunately but lovely people like you make it all worth it đ thank you again and i hope this is kind of what you were looking for đŤśđť
Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.
ONE:Â POISON IT
You could hardly contain your smile as you sauntered up to Tabito Karasuâs desk, your exam held behind your back. He was sitting by himself â his seat partner was sick this week, from what you had heard, so he had taken the chance to spread out his things and stretch his legs. When he noticed you, he raised his eyebrows, mouth tugging into a frown at your amusement.
âWhat?â he said. You brandished the paper in front of you, irises sparkling as you leaned over to rest your forearms on the desk.
âI got full marks on the last Chemistry exam,â you said. Karasu made a face at you, snatching the test from your hands and scrunching his face up as he inspected it.
âSeriously?â he said.
âSeriously,â you said. âWhat did you get?â
He crossed his arms and looked away. âNot telling.â
âYou definitely failed!â you said in delight, taking back the exam and laughing at him. âHow embarrassing. You failed the easiest test of the year, and yet you consider Chemistry to be one of your best subjects? I canât wait to see how badly you do during finals week.â
âI did not fail,â he said, rolling his eyes. âNot that itâs any of your business, but I got a ninety-eight.â
âNinety-eight! Thatâs even worse than outright failure,â you said. âYou were so close to perfection, and yet in the end, you fell short. It must sting for things to work out like that.â
âYes, Iâm positively wounded,â he said dryly before batting his eyelashes at you. From anyone else, the rapid switch in demeanor wouldâve left you reeling, but the shifting mood was to be expected from him. âWill you give me a kiss and make it better?â
You rolled up your test and smacked him on the head with it. âNo.â
âAnyways, my overall grade in the class is still higher than yours, because rankings were updated today and Iâm still number one, so Iâm not sure what cause you have to be boasting,â he said.
âHm, but did you notice whoâs number one in Modern Literature?â you said, pulling out your phone and opening the schoolâs app, which listed each classâs rankings in every subject. âYup, thatâs right, me.â
âGood job, Y/N!â he said, clapping mockingly. âShall we have a party? Itâs a big occasion â the mediocre number two has finally done something of such note that sheâs number one for the first time in her life.â
âIâve been number one plenty of other times!â you snapped. âFor your information, Iâve been first in the class in mathematics and history every year since middle school, so who are you to be acting like this is a first? If anyoneâs mediocre, itâs you!â
He raised his hands in the air innocently, his trademark smirk gracing his features once more now that he had succeeded in irritating you, as was his typical goal.
âAlright, alright, no need to be upset,â he said. âItâs not good for you. Clouds your judgment.â
âIn what way?â you said.
âI mean, somehow, you got the two of us confused,â he said. âAnd weâre nothing alike.â
âI did no such thing,â you said.
âWell, I seem to recall you calling me mediocre, but between the two of us, the subpar one is obviously you,â he said, flicking your forehead. You slapped his hand away.
âYou â the bell is going to ring, so Iâm going to go back to my seat, but just so you know, youâre way more mediocre than me, Mr. Two-Percent-Short!â you said.
âStellar comeback!â he called out. âMy ego is bruised beyond healing!â
âGood!â you called back, ignoring the sarcasm. âMaybe itâll return to a more normal size. Your head has grown too big, itâs almost as ridiculous as that hair of yours!â
âLeave the hair alone!â
During your free period, you decided to go to the library for some peace and quiet to work on your homework and find some of the sources you needed for your next research project. For belonging to a high school, the library was surprisingly extensive, and you had managed to find relevant information for every other project you had ever done in it, so you had high hopes. Unfortunately, it seemed this latest assignment was more obscure than anything you had completed before, so on your second lap of the shelves where the books, if they existed, would be located, you resigned yourself to giving up.
Just then, a volume caught your eye. The cover was shiny and pristine, the spine still unbent with newness. Crouching, you pulled it out, and when you saw the title emblazoned across the cover in bright yellow lettering, you began to laugh, making a beeline to the checkout counter with it tucked under your arm.
âHey, Y/N! How was your morning?â your best friend said as you set your things down next to her in the cafeteria. You hummed in agreement, searching the room for a familiar head of dark hair. âYou good? Looking for someone? Let me guess: your secret boyfriend that youâre keeping from the rest of us.â
âYeah, Iâm looking for Karasu,â you said before the rest of her words registered. âNo!â
âYouâre finally coming out and saying it?â she said, holding her hands to her heart and pretending to swoon. âIâve been waiting for you to confess.â
âHeâs not my secret boyfriend that Iâm keeping from everyone, Iâm just looking for him!â you said.
âCouldâve fooled me,â she said. âWhat do you need him for, anyways?â
âI got a book for him in the library,â you said.
âRight, and this is the guy you hate? Your âmortal enemyâ or whatever?â she checked.
âYes,â you said.
âBut youâŚgot a book for him from the library, and now youâre looking for him so that you can give it to him?â she said. You scoffed.
âWhen you put it like that, it sounds different than it really is,â you said. âTrust me, this isnât a nice gesture or anything. You can consider it revenge.â
âWhen are you going to get over this stupid rivalry?â she said. âHeâs not even that bad, you know.â
âNot even that bad? Not even that bad? Are we talking about the same Karasu here? Iâm referring to Tabito, not his older sister,â you said.
âAh, I think so? Heâs a nice guy,â she said.
âHe is the spawn of the devil! And heâs the one who started it, so Iâll stop hating him once he apologizes and means it,â you said.
âDo you think he even remembers that?â she said. âIt was in middle school.â
You glared at her. âI remember it. If he doesnât, well, thatâs just more of a reason for me to dislike him on principle.â
âOkay, okay, whatever you say,â she said. âSorry for complimenting him. Heâs awful and rude and mean. I think heâs sitting outside with some of his soccer friends, if you still want to find him.â
âThank you!â you said, instantly forgetting that you were upset with her for taking Karasuâs side instead of yours. âWatch my stuff, okay? Iâll be right back.â
âSee you soon,â she said. âHave fun. Actually, maybe itâs more realistic for me to just tell you not do anything thatâll get you expelled.â
You waved her off as you marched out to the courtyard where Karasu and his friends were lounging, their chairs positioned in the shade so that they did not overheat while they ate. None of them noticed you approaching until you were tapping Karasu on the shoulder and smiling at him sweetly.
âY/N? What are you doing here?â he said, sounding oddly flustered. One of his friends snorted, and more than a few chuckled, but you ignored all of them in favor of setting your bag on the armrest of Karasuâs chair.
âHi, Karasu. I was in the library earlier and I saw this book that reminded me of you, so I took the liberty of checking it out,â you said.
âOh,â he said. âYou didnât have to do that.â
âYouâre so considerate, Y/N!â one of his friends said.
âWeâre all so jealous of Karasu here,â another friend, the one who you believed had snorted, said. âYouâre way too pretty for him.â
âShut up,â Karasu said, sticking up his middle finger at his friend, though none of the group paid him much mind. In fact, it seemed to egg them on more, as they continued to hurl jabs at Karasu while simultaneously incessantly complimenting you.
You didnât respond to any of them, instead pulling out the book and handing it to Karasu, interlacing your fingers and waiting for his reaction. At first he seemed confused, and then dismay dawned upon his features as he realized what he was holding in his hands: a copy of Chemistry for Dummies.
âWhat the fuck?â he said. You patted him on the shoulder.
âItâs only suitable,â you said. Suddenly, his expression cleared, and he beamed at you, which caused unease to brew in your stomach. You knew for a fact that he was about to say something infuriating, and you mentally prepared yourself to respond.
âWhat a roundabout way of telling me you need tutoring! Of course, Iâm happy to help you anytime you want,â he said, tilting back in his chair so that he could cross his arms over his chest arrogantly.
âWhy would I want tutoring from someone who does worse than me in the class?â you shot back, crossing your own arms in retaliation.
One of his friends whistled. âShe got you there, Tabito.â
âEnough out of you,â Karasu said through gritted teeth. His friend winked at you and mouthed ânice one.â
âLook, man, all Iâm saying is that if you want to ask out such a beautiful girl, youâve gotta have a little more finesse than that!â he said.
âHe can have all the finesse in the world, but Iâd still say no,â you said. His friends hollered with raucous laughter, which caused Karasuâs face to turn red, but you only pressed the book into his hands. âItâs due in two weeks. That should be long enough, right? Make sure you return it on time, please, I donât want late fines.â
âI hope you go into debt because of this stupid book,â he said.
âAww,â you cooed. âYouâll be the one paying it off, so it doesnât matter to me. See you around, Karasu â or, hopefully not.â
TWO:Â SHOOT IT
You and Karasu had met in middle school. The two of you had been assigned to work on a presentation together, and he had told you during your first meeting that because you were a dunce, you should just listen to him and do whatever he said. Ever since that day, you had done everything you could to show him how much better than him you were; for his part, he found great joy in getting on your nerves and so took part in every argument with pleasure.
You had long ago proved his middle school self wrong, by anyoneâs standards, but at this point it was a habit for you to hate Tabito Karasu as well as a habit for him to hate you back. And of course, habits were hard to form but harder to break, so you would probably continue in that manner until the day you graduated and left him behind for good.
It was just the two of you who did not get along. Your friends were cordial with him and his ilk, and you did not really mind his little group all that much, crude though they sometimes were. After all, it was just in the manner of teenage boys, and when they were not taking advantage of your presence to make fun of Karasu, they were actually a pretty agreeable sort.
In fact, your friend groups tended to coexist most of the time, even having lunch together every now and again â though they were always careful to ensure that you and Karasu were kept entirely separate, or else you both were guaranteed to ruin the cheerful camaraderie with your sharp tongues and quick tempers. The measures they took were admirable, but unfortunately, they were not always enough. After all, what were precautions when compared with inevitabilities?
âOh my god!â you squealed. âGuys! Oh my god, oh my god, I canât believe this is happening?â
âCanât believe whatâs happening?â your best friend said, speaking for everyone at the table. They were all tuned in to you now, wondering what the big news might be that would bring about such a reaction from you, given how put-together you tended to be.
âDo you remember that one model I happened to meet while I was out last weekend? Kenyu Yukimiya? He just requested to follow me on social media!â you said.
âNo way!â your best friend said.
âWay!â you said. The only warning you got was an arm pressing against your back, and then your phone was abruptly snatched from your hands. You gasped, spinning in your seat and scowling when you realized that the culprit was none other than that scavenging crow, Tabito Karasu.
âWhat the hell? Heâs average at best, why are you so excited?â he said, scrolling through Yukimiyaâs profile, his eyes narrowed critically. âY/N, donât you have any standards?â
âYouâre probably the only person in the entire country who doesnât find him gorgeous,â you said, exhaling dreamily as you took your phone back from him and stared at the artful manner Yukimiya was posing in for his profile photo. âHe was even better looking in person. And sonice, too! They donât make men like that often.â
Karasu frowned and swiped at your phone again. You held it out of his reach, reaching across the bench to press your foot against his chest, effectively holding him back from further attempts at thievery.
âLet me look at him again!â he said.
âUm, no,â you said. âI donât need you making more fun of him. I know youâre jealous, but expressing it like this only makes you uglier, just so you know.â
âLooks like theyâre back at it again,â one of your friends said, massaging her temples.
âYup,â one of Karasuâs teammates said.
âUgly? Ugly? Youâre calling me ugly? Have you looked in a mirror recently? Also, get your gross shoe off of my shirt!â Karasu said.
âI have looked in a mirror recently, actually, and incidentally Iâve also been keeping an eye on my follow requests. Guess what? Iâm obviously good looking, since a legitimate model wants to follow me! How many celebrities request to follow you, huh? I bet the answer is zero!â you said, though you did do him the favor of swinging your leg back, allowing him to brush himself off in disdain.
âLots of soccer players want to follow me,â he said. âIâm quite good, you know.â
âThat doesnât count,â you said. âIt has nothing to do with how you look. Theyâd request to follow you no matter how hideous and poorly styled you and your hair are.â
âAre they seriously arguing about which of them is worse looking?â Karasuâs teammate said.
âI suppose so,â your friend said. âTheyâre both really hot, though, so I donât know what the big deal isâŚâ
âGeez, theyâll take any excuse to go at it, huh?â Karasuâs teammate said.
âPretty much,â your friend said.
âGuess all of that tension has to go somewhere,â his teammate said.
âExactly,â your friend said, shaking her head as she finished up her lunch.
âThat model probably only works for horror magazines!â Karasu said. âIt barely even counts!â
âHe was in Vogue Japan,â you said smugly. âLook it up, stupid.â
âSo what?â he said.
âSo heâs handsome,â you said. âLike I said, itâs okay if youâre envious of him, as long as you accept it instead of doing this whole weird denial thing. I donât blame you for it â in fact, I thought you would be. You donât have much going for you overall, do you? In all honesty, itâs only natural for you to feel like this when faced with what you lack.â
Karasuâs eyes widened, and then he stood abruptly, picking up his bag with one arm and haphazardly pulling it onto his back. âGoodbye.â
âBye,â you said, not really caring one way or another what he did with himself. Actually, you would prefer it if he wasnât there, interrupting your meal and your daydreaming about your impending romance with Kenyu Yukimiya.
âWow, Y/N,â your best friend said once Karasu was gone. âYouâre kind of dumb, you know that?â
âWhat are you talking about?â you said.
âItâs not her fault,â another one of Karasuâs teammates said. âHeâs not much better.â
âHuh?â you said.
âNever mind,â your best friend said, pinching the bridge of her nose. âI have a migraine now.â
âWant some ibuprofen?â Karasuâs teammate said. She accepted it gratefully, and nothing more was said on the subject. The rest of lunch passed in a peaceful manner, though strangely, Karasu did not return.
It shouldâve made you happy. You wondered, then, why it felt so odd without him there, like there was a gaping maw sitting in the place that shouldâve been occupied by him.
THREE:Â DROWN IT
Ever since the day that Yukimiya had requested to follow you, you and Karasu hadnât spoken. He refused to make eye contact with you in the few classes the two of you had together, keeping his gaze lowered to his work and his shoulders hunched away from you. You didnât even try to talk to him; something told you that it would not be well-received, and you werenât anywhere near confrontational enough to bring up his odd behavior, so the time without him dragged on and on, seemingly without end.
At first, you were happy, and you told your friends as much. It was a much-needed break from the constant aggravation he brought you, and you found your classes without your competition to be almost boring in their simplicity.
âThe more you say youâre happy that you and Karasu arenât talking, the less it sounds believable,â your best friend said, taking a sip from her juice box.
âBelieve it! This is what Iâve been wanting since middle school,â you said.
âIs it?â she said. âIt sounds like youâre kind of upset.â
âAm not!â you said. She shrugged.
âSure,â she said, drawing out the word. âDefinitely not.â
âWhy would I be upset?â you said.
âYou tell me,â she said.
âIâm telling you that Iâm not upset. Youâre the one with the theory, so give me some evidence to substantiate it,â you said.
âFine,â she said. âYou talk about him all of the time, even when you guys are getting along â or, at least, your twisted little version of being friendly, which isnât friendly by anyone elseâs standards but it seems to work for you two, so I wonât comment further. You keep telling us that youâre so delighted heâs leaving you alone, but you do this thing with your face when you say it that makes it super obvious youâre not. Itâs not the kind of behavior youâd display when discussing someone you hate as much as you claim to hate him. Finally, thereâs a reason half the school thinks you guys are dating, and itâs not just the obvious aesthetic appeal of that match.â
âWhat? I thought you were just trying to bother me when you brought that up!â you said. She shook her head.
âNo, itâs a common misconception. Itâs why no oneâs ever asked you out. They all think youâre already taken. Actually, the other day, a guy asked me if I thought he might have a chance with you now that you and Karasu had broken up,â she said.
âWhatâd you say?â you said, half in horror, half in fascination.
âI told him probably not, and that you and Karasu hadnât broken up, because you were never together in the first place,â she said.
âOh, okay,â you said.
âShould I have said something else?â she said. You shook your head.
âNo,â you said. âWhat else would you have said?â
âDunno,â she said. âLook, you need to cheer up. Iâm sure that if you just try to talk to him, things will go back to normal in an instant. Then you can return to complaining about him like usual.â
âTalk to him? About what?â you said. She gave you an incredulous look.
âYou were pretty mean to him the other day, Y/N,â she said.
âIt wasnât any meaner than what he says to me on the regular,â you said. âAnd what I say to him in return. I donât see why heâd be more or less offended.â
âI think it was a little worse than what you typically say,â she said. âPlus, the context was different.â
âHow so?â you said. She shook her head.
âThatâs for him to explain, not me,â she said. âCome on, donât be stubborn. Work things out with him. I miss hanging out with the guys.â
âAh, so thatâs why it matters to you,â you said. âSorry to say it, but I donât have any plans at attempting conversation with him anytime soon. Like I said, things are finally calm and stress-free for me. Heâs the one being immature, as always, so whyâs it up to me to make things better?â
âImmature?â your best friend said. âYouâve held a grudge against him since middle school.â
âAnd?â you said. She squinted at you before pursing her lips.
âWell, I guess the two of you really are made for one another,â she said.
âWhat?â
The next week would mark the beginning of the swimming unit in PE class, which you were actually looking forward to. You loved to swim, you had ever since you were a child and your parents had brought you into the water for the first time, and the thought of getting to earn a good grade for something you liked doing in the first place was an agreeable on.
In preparation, you decided to stop by the pool after classes were over so that you could acclimate yourself to the motions of the strokes once again. The swim teamâs practice had been canceled, and no one else ever used the pool, so you would have the place to yourself, which was just about the closest thing to heaven you could imagine while still living on Earth.
Changing into your school-issued bathing suit and putting your things into a locker, you tied your hair back so that it was out of the way and stepped into the steaming indoor pool deck. The water was a bright cerulean shade, the lanes split by lane-lines which alternated colors to match your schoolâs emblem. When you dipped your toe into the deep end, you found it was warm, not cold like you had feared. The school didnât splurge on heating the water of the rarely-used pool, so usually, it was all but freezing. You supposed that they mustâve had complaints from last yearâs PE classes, so they had restarted the heaters in order to ensure that no one had any cause to whine about the temperature this year.
For a moment, you just sat on the tiled edge, your legs swishing about in the water, the heels of your palms pressing against the lip of the pool as you closed your eyes and luxuriated in the tangy scent of chlorine. So lost were you that you almost didnât notice the door swinging open, but the clang of it shutting was unmistakable. Thinking it mustâve been a confused swim team member showing up to a practice that wasnât happening, you opened your eyes, your lips parting to issue a reprimand that died before it could take shape.
It wasnât a swim team member. It was Tabito Karasu, wearing a pair of swim trunks and nothing else, his jaw taut and his fists clenched as he inched towards the water. He hadnât even noticed you, and you didnât feel inclined to announce yourself, so you let your elbows dig into your thighs, your chin resting in your hands as you observed him.
You had known that he played soccer almost as long as you had known his name. It was the entire reason he was so popular and well-regarded in the school, and an inextricable part of his identity, but until now, you hadnât quite considered what that actually meant. After all, you only ever saw him in the loose, modest clothing of the schoolâs uniform, so why would you jump to the conclusion that he was so â so â well, you were loath to admit it, but he had a striking body, and, now that he wasnât being all cocky and maddening, you could appreciate that even his face was of a similar quality.
Blinking, you cocked your head as he extended a graceful foot towards the first stair leading into the shallow end. Water splashed against it, and he yanked it back like he had been scalded. You could not help yourself from giggling as he did this once and then twice again. On the third attempt, you forgot that the two of you werenât acknowledging one another and cupped your hands around your mouth to amplify your voice.
âWhat are you doing?â you said.
âWho â Y/N? I didnât realize anyone else was in here!â he said, stepping back from the pool and straightening his shorts, though there was nothing wrong with them that required straightening. You sprang to your feet and walked over to him, leaving wet footprints in your wake as you peered at him curiously.
âI was just going to do some laps to ensure that Iâm at my best for the swimming unit next week. Did you have the same idea?â you said.
âSomething like that,â he said.
âWhatâs with that whole ritual, though?â you said. âItâs not that cold. You should just get in.â
âDefinitely not,â he said. You furrowed your brow.
âOkay,â you said. âWhy are you at the pool, then, if you donât want to go in the water?â
âItâs nothing you need to be concerned with!â he said. âWhy are you so nosy? Just go away.â
âI was here first,â you said.
âFine,â he said, spinning on his heel. âIâll go, then.â
âWait! Karasu, wait,â you said, grabbing onto his wrist as he made to leave. âLook, we donât have to talk to one another or anything. Weâre experienced enough at ignoring each other, so thereâs not an issue in both of us being here.â
âIs that what you want?â he said.
âYeah, sure,â you said. He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing, and you thought he would say something, but he only nodded curtly.
âFine,â he said. You gave him an expectant look, but he did not move from the spot he was rooted in, so you thought that you might as well take the initiative. Looping around to the deep end, you inhaled and then dove into the water headfirst, staying under for as long as you could before finally surfacing and allowing yourself to settle into the familiar undulations that came with swimming.
After a few laps, you took a break, peeking up over the concrete to look at Karasu, who was still standing stubbornly in place, his nose wrinkling whenever he glanced at the pool.
âHey,â you said. âAre you scared of the water or something?â
He froze. âWho told you that?â
âNo one?â you said. âItâs pretty easy to tell as an onlooker. Were you planning on trying to get over your fear by coming to swim when no one was here? Thatâs dangerous if you donât know how. You could drown.â
âIâm not scared of the water,â he said.
âReally? Then whyâre you just standing there?â you said. His mouth opened and closed a few times, and then finally he hung his head in reluctant defeat.
âWhatever,â he said. Judging by the way he tensed immediately after the confession, he was expecting you to say something cruel, but you only boosted yourself out of the water and tapped him on the shoulder.
âI can help you, if youâd like,â you said. âIâm good at swimming.â
âWhy would I want your help? And why would you even offer it in the first place? This is just one more subject you can beat me in, and thatâs all you care about, so save it,â he said. âCongratulations, Y/N. You get to be number one this time.â
He looped a dry towel around his neck and left you standing alone, shivering and dripping pool water, a puddle forming around your feet as you gazed at the door he had vanished through.
The class rankings updated again after the swimming unit was over. You were in first place. Karasu didnât even make it to the top ten. You wanted to celebrate the victory â it was the first time you had beaten him so thoroughly, after all â but for some reason, it didnât really feel like something worth celebrating.
FOUR:Â STONE IT
School without Karasu was lonelier than you thought it would be. You hadnât realized just how much you relied on him until he wasnât there anymore. Without him, there wasnât anyone you could exchange looks with across the room when somebody said something ridiculous in class. There wasnât anyone who you could talk to in the minutes before the period began. There wasnât anyone who made you push yourself to be better. What was the point of being first if Karasu wasnât on your heels, ensuring that you stayed on the top for fear of losing to him? It was boring and lonely to try if he wasnât doing the same.
You and he were still one and two, but it didnât matter much anymore. The rankings were just numbers. They didnât mean anything when Karasu still refused to even exchange pleasantries with you. Why would you want to compete when the other party didnât share your interest? Now, if you managed to pull out ahead of him, it felt more like you had kicked a dog that was already down than if you had actually won anything. When he got first over you, it didnât fuel your ambition any. You just wished he would come over and gloat instead of sitting there so solemnly, like none of it had ever mattered to him in the first place.
You couldnât understand why he was so angry. What had you said that was so egregious? You hardly remembered the conversation you had had with him, it was that thoughtlessly done. You really hadnât meant much if anything by it. One second, the two of you had been squabbling as you were prone to doing, and the next, he was so furious that he couldnât bear to interact with you even still.
The day you were ambushed was nondescript. It was just like any other Wednesday, and you were walking back home from school when you were forced to stop in your tracks. A tall man â no, he was a boy, probably a year or two younger than you based on his soft and innocent expression â was barring your way, his arms outstretched and feet planted firmly in the ground to prove the depth of his conviction. He had pale hair and sky-colored eyes framed by the longest eyelashes you had ever seen on anyone, man or woman, with a small mouth pinched into an expression of discontent and lines like tire tracks between his eyebrows.
âWho are you?â you said warily, reaching for your phone, though you hardly knew who you would call. The setting was wrong for this to be a mugging, as it was sunny out and you were on a well-traveled street, but you didnât really know what else to expect from the stranger, who could certainly outmuscle you if it came to it despite his lovely appearance.
âYo Hiori,â he said. âI play on Bambi Osaka with Karasu. Youâre Y/N L/N, correct?â
âOh, one of the soccer guys?â you said. âUh, hey. Yes, thatâs me. Is something the matter? Iâve never seen you before. How do you even know who I am?â
âIâve been watching Karasu for a while,â Hiori said with the utmost of seriousness, his hands dropping to his sides now that he was sure you werenât going to run past him. âHeâs a pretty fascinating person.â
âIâm sure,â you said, thinking to yourself that this Hiori kid was more than a little weird. Did Karasu know that he had acquired such a shadow? You supposed he mustâve. He had always been the observant type, so there was no way someone like Hiori wouldâve escaped his keen notice.
âHeâs been kind of down in the dumps recently, though. Even our coach noticed it. His playing hasnât suffered too dramatically, but heâs the captain of the team, so heâs the guy everyone relies on for a funny pep talk or a word of advice when things are going south. Nowadays, however, when heâs off the field, he just sulks,â Hiori explained.
âI see,â you said. âThatâs terrible.â
You meant it, too. Karasu without his asshole quips and ready jokes was a different person entirely. A person who you missed more than you could let on, even to yourself.
âIt is,â Hiori said. âI took it upon myself to do some digging, and Iâve come to the conclusion that the reason is you.â
He was definitely a freak. You vowed to bring it up with Karasu, if he ever talked to you again. Even if he was already aware, it felt like a moral or civic duty of yours to ensure that he was fully informed about the extent that this child was inquiring into his life.
âWhat kind of, uh, digging do you mean?â you said, neatly avoiding the second thing he had said.
âIt was pretty simple,â Hiori said. âOne of the guys asked Karasu if he was acting off because he broke up with his girlfriend or something, and he got so mad that he left practice early. I opened up social media as soon as I got home and saw that youâre the only girl he follows, so by process of elimination, I figured the two of you were having some trouble in your relationship.â
âRelationship? I think youâre misunderstanding,â you said. âThereâs no relationship. You could hardly even consider us friends.â
âOh!â Hiori said. âIâm sorry. Heâs mentioned you once or twice, so I just thought â and given what he said â and his reaction and all â no, I really am just sorry. It was wrong of me to make that assumption in the first place.â
âItâs alright,â you said. âIâm told itâs a relatively common misconception, so I canât blame you. At least, it used to be. We havenât really spoken in a while, so I guess everything thinks that itâs over, even though it never began in the first place.â
âYou havenât spoken in a while?â Hiori said. âWhy not?â
âI think I said something that offended him, and we havenât been on good terms since. Not that we ever really were in the first place,â you said.
âYou did? Heâs a pretty rational person, so it mustâve been something terrible for him to still be angry about it,â Hiori said.
âMaybe, but I donât remember saying anything like that,â you said.
âWhat if you tell me how your last conversation went? Maybe I can help you,â he said.
âSure, since youâre apparently the resident Karasu expert,â you said. âWanna walk with me? I was heading home, but we can go to the convenience store and get some snacks or something instead. I donât want to get in trouble for standing around in front of some random personâs house for too long.â
âSounds good,â Hiori said. âThereâs one a couple of minutes away, so we can head in that direction and keep talking as we go.â
âGreat,â you said. âOkay, so the last time we talkedâŚI think it was when Kenyu Yukimiya requested to follow me.â
âWhoâs that?â Hiori said.
âHeâs this model I met while I was shopping one day. Absolutely breathtaking,â you said. âJust really a stand-up guy. Weâve hung out a few times since then, he introduced me to the girlfriend I did not know he had, the works.â
âYikes, unrequited love?â Hiori said with a wince.
âIt was more of a celebrity crush. His girlfriend is super sweet, though, so I canât complain. Anyways, I would consider them both casual acquaintances. The type you call to have a coffee with, but not the ones that help you move into a new apartment, you know?â you said.
âUh, sure,â Hiori said in a tone which suggested he had no idea what you were talking about but was too scared to inquire further.
âMoving on, Yukimiya requested to follow me, and of course this was at the peak of my celebrity crush, so I started fawning over him, which prompted Karasu to take my phone and start insulting him,â you said.
âInteresting,â Hiori said.
âThen I called him ugly, and he called me ugly â thatâs pretty standard for the two of us, so donât look so shocked! After that, I said something about how I had expected him to be jealous of Yukimiya, since he didnât have much going for him overall, so it made sense,â you said. âThatâs when he left and things got weird.â
âOkay, I think I get it,â Hiori said. You waited for him to explain further. He smiled at you pleasantly.
âRight, so are you going to share with the class or am I meant to read your mind?â you said after a moment.
âI donât want to give anything away that I shouldnât,â he said. âBut itâs a pretty simple issue to fix. Try thinking about what you said from his perspective.â
âHe has a dumbass perspective. Itâs impossible for me to think that way,â you said automatically.
âDo you think that he dislikes you?â Hiori said, taking two bottles of Yakult down from the shelf, handing one to you and keeping the other for himself.
âIâm not really sure how he feels about me, to tell you the truth,â you said.
âI donât think he does,â Hiori said. âSo, try thinking about someone you like and then imagine them saying to you what you said to them. Would you be inclined to be nice to them after that?â
âWellâŚâ Your tongue was heavy and leaden in your mouth, and you ducked your head as you searched through your wallet for money. âNo, not at all. Iâd probably hate them for a really long time. Maybe forever.â
âThatâs possible,â he said.
âDo you think heâll hate me forever?â you said.
âMost likely not. Like I said earlier, heâs a rational person. I think that if you say sorry and sincerely mean it, heâll forgive you. Thereâs a chance he wonât, though; youâll have to listen to what he says and accept it,â Hiori said.
âBut when? I hardly have the chance to see him in school. He just avoids me, and the buildingâs so big that itâs all but impossible to track him down!â you said.
âWe have a soccer game in the evening today,â Hiori said. âIâm heading over there in a bit. Wanna come? You can talk to him once itâs over.â
âAm I allowed to?â you said.
âWhy wouldnât you be?â Hiori said. âIf anyone says anything, just tell them I invited you. Here, Iâll give you the address and time now, and you can decide if you want to show up.â
âOkay,â you said, typing out his instructions in your notes app. âThanks a lot for your help, Hiori.â
âAnytime!â he said. âHope to see you at the game!â
âEven if I donât go, Iâd still like to meet you again. Youâre a pretty cool kid,â you said, reaching up to ruffle his hair. âKind of weird, if Iâm being fully honest, but cool nonetheless. Karasuâs lucky to have a teammate like you.â
He grinned, and it was a tender, shy thing, as if he was earnestly seeking your praise or approval â like how a cat would bring a dead rat to its master or a child would show their parents a treasured drawing. âThank you. Even if you donât try to talk to KarasuâŚmaybe you can still come anyways?â
âAlright, then,â you said. âSince you asked so nicely, I guess I have to. Iâll be there.â
FIVE:Â TAME IT
The sun was nearing the horizon, but it still had not officially begun to set by the time you settled in the bleachers on Bambi Osakaâs side. Besides a couple of women your motherâs age and an elderly man who mustâve been someoneâs grandfather, there werenât any other spectators. Hiori had mentioned that this wasnât a particularly serious game, as they didnât even need to beat the team to make it to Nationals, so it was more like a friendly exhibition game than anything â hence the low turnout.
âHello, dear,â a woman said when she noticed you sitting by yourself. âAre you friends with one of the players?â
âYes. Um, Tabito Karasu? Iâm his classmate,â you said. Technically, you were there on Hioriâs goodwill, not Karasuâs, but for you to not mention Karasu would be like a betrayal. You werenât sure if it was him or yourself that youâd be betraying, but either way you did not want to chance it.
âYouâre one of Karasuâs friends? Lucky you, then,â she said. âHeâs a delightful boy, or so Iâve heard. This is my sonâs first year on the team, and he was really nervous to join such a prestigious organization, but ever since his first day, all he can talk about is how amazing his captain is. Karasuâs tough on all of the players, but he really works hard to make all of them feel welcomed, too.â
Bambi Osakaâs team took the field, and you smiled when you saw Karasu in the front, his name across the back of his jersey, a pair of black gloves covering his large hands, an insolent leer on his face as he greeted the other teamâs captain. He had not noticed you yet, and you were not sure if this was for the better or worse, because you wanted him to see you, but you didnât want him to be distracted and play poorly as a result.
âHeâs a wonderful person,â you agreed. âHeâs the only one in the entire school who can keep up with me, academically or otherwise. I didnât realize until recently how much I admire him for that.â
The womanâs eyes crinkled around the corners with the ease that came from a lifetime of happiness. For some reason, you thought that she knew something you did not, or could not, but it wasnât uncomfortable that she did. It seemed to you that being left in the dark was just your lot this time around, and you found that oddly enough, it felt acceptable.
âIs this your first time coming to watch him?â she said.
âYes, it is,â you said.
âYou know, he has this habit before every match of scanning the stands, like heâs looking for someone. I thought it might be his parents, but at the last match, just about his entire family showed up, and he still seemed disappointed,â she said.
âThatâs a shame,â you said noncommittally, not sure what else you should say. The woman shrugged.
âWell, I wonder what itâll be like today,â she said. âThere he goes.â
True to her words, Karasu was craning his neck towards the Bambi Osaka side, his eyes darting from person to person until they settled on you. You raised your hand hesitantly, waving at him, knowing that he probably wouldnât reciprocate.
He turned away almost immediately, but not before you saw him fight back a smile â not the smug type he generally donned, but one you had only ever seen on him once or twice. It was one that made him seem charming and boyish and sweet, that made you want to take back every negative word you had ever said about him. Only now could you understand that it showed who he really was, that at his heart Karasu was that kind of person, not anything like the facade you were so accustomed to, which he showed you for the sole reason that it was what you unconsciously demanded of him.
You had judged him to be horrible, and so he became the bane of your existence. You had told him he was good for nothing, so he disappeared like he really was just that. Everything you said, Karasu went along with gamely, and you wished you couldâve known that earlier, so you wouldâve spent less time hating him and more time comprehending these intricacies, which entranced you in the way a spiderâs web entranced a butterfly.
âLooks like I donât need to worry about that child any more,â the woman said as the referee blew the whistle to signal the start of the game.
âPardon?â you said. âWere you talking to me?â
âNo, no,â she said, shaking her head. âI was just musing to myself. Ignore me. Letâs watch the game; I have a feeling that some of our players are going to go all out today.â
Bambi Osaka completely annihilated the other team. Maybe the match didnât matter, but none of them played that way; instead, they were aggressive and focused, with Karasu at the forefront of every goal they made, commending his teammates and deriding his opposition in the same breath.
That was something you had not expected â he had a massively foul mouth when he played soccer. You had thought that he was rude when he spoke to you, but the things you overheard from him whenever he ran by within earshot made your conversations seem tame. You couldnât help but pity the poor defenders that he shoved past and spat barbed-wire abuse at.
He was merciless and beautiful and you could probably spend a dozen more hours watching him play without even a trace of boredom, but by the time the sky had turned gold and the sun had dipped towards the ground, the game was over and the members of Bambi Osaka were packing up their things to leave for the night after yet another landslide win.
You snuck onto the field once you were extremely assured that nobody would be upset with you for it, making your way over to where Karasu was chugging a bottle of water.
âHi,â you said when he was finished, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and tossing the now-empty bottle into his bag. âYou played really well.â
âThanks,â he said. There was impatience but also longing in his voice, like he wanted you to say something so badly but he knew you would not, would never, and so he would rather get the conversation over with and move on with the business of his life than stick around and waste time with you.
âIâm sorry,â you said.
âWhat?â he said.
âIâm sorry,â you said. âKarasu, Iâm really sorry. I donât think that you have nothing going for you. I donât know why I said that. Well, I do, itâs because I wanted to have the last word like I always do, but I donât mind if I donât have it this time. Or any other time. Or ever again.â
âWhat?â he repeated, as though he had been rendered dumb by your confession.
âI miss you,â you admitted. âI didnât believe I could, but apparently, I can, and I do. A lot. I know that Iâm unpleasant and disparaging and haughty when it comes to you, but I wonât be that way anymore if you forgive me for my vices one last time. If it means youâll talk to me, Iâll be a fool. Iâll be in second place. Iâll be an idiot. But please, please forgive me.â
He took a deep breath. You handed him the bottle of kombucha that you had bought on your way to the game because you saw him drink it so frequently that you figured he must like it. He accepted it gingerly, holding it with the delicacy of a newborn, unscrewing the lid and sipping on it pensively.
âAlright,â he said.
âAlright?â you said.
âIâll forgive you,â he said. âBut on one condition.â
âAnything,â you said.
âYou better not do anything as dumb as trying to be mediocre on purpose because you think itâll make me feel better. What the hell is that proposition, huh? Itâll make me feel worse if anything! I like you because youâre unpleasant and disparaging and haughty and whatever else you said, not in spite of those qualities. Iâm sure you heard me while I was playingâŚanyone who isnât you would probably be terrified of me when Iâm like that,â he said. âJust, yâknow, Iâm a person with feelings, too, so keep that in mind if you can. Oh, and donât wait so long to say sorry next time, because itâs seriously annoying for me to feel all out-of-sorts for ages!â he said.
âThatâs it?â you said.
âThatâs it,â he said. âHug?â
Ordinarily, you wouldâve said no, but you were so weepy at the reconciliation that you nodded and let him embrace you, his arms caging you against his chest, holding you to him so that you could not escape.
âEw!â you shouted when you registered what he was trying to do, shoving him off of you as he cackled and released you without much of a fight. âGross, Karasu, youâre disgusting! Get away from me! I canât believe you did that!â
âIÂ canât believe you fell for it!â he said as you frantically tried to wipe yourself off, though it was largely in vain. In your emotional state, you had forgotten that he was still drenched with sweat from the game, and you were now reaping the consequences of your poor decision making.
âYouâre a bad person,â you said.
âYeah, yeah,â he said. âWhatever you say.â
âI probably deserved that one, though, so I wonât hold it against you,â you said.
âSmart decision,â he said. âWait. Unrelated, but whatever ended up happening between you and that model dude? What was his name again?â
âYukimiya? He has a girlfriend,â you said. âOh, well. What can you do, right? Iâm not upset about it. Besides, everyone and their mother thinks I have a boyfriend already, so itâs probably for the best that it worked out like this. I wouldnât want his modeling career to be ruined by home-wrecking allegations or anything.â
âIt must be a pretty serious not-relationship youâve got there, if itâs the career-ending type,â he said.
âIâd say itâs pretty serious, yes,â you said. âHeâs an awesome guy. Youâd like him.â
âIâll respect it, then,â he said. âButâŚif you ever find yourself not-breaking up with him, then, uh, let me know. Iâll take you on a date somewhere. We can argue and reminisce about the day we met over dinner or something. Itâll be super romantic.â
He said it casually, but you were more familiar with him than either of you ever couldâve predicted youâd be. He was secretly nervous about how big of a risk he had taken, fiddling with the zipper of his soccer bag, avoiding your eyes while he waited for your response. You let the silence stretch on for a minute, just to make him squirm, and then you poked him in the ribs.
âKarasu,â you said.
âWhatâs up?â he said, and he mustâve been trying very hard to keep his cool, but his anxiety transmitted through the endearing crack of his voice.
âI have to tell you something,â you said.
âGo ahead,â he said.
âIâm not-single now,â you said. âSo. Will you take me on a date this weekend?â
He lit up, so bright that you were all but blinded by the brilliance of his joy. Then he cleared his throat and pretended to check the non-existent watch on his wrist.
âYouâre in luck,â he said. âThat works for me. Iâll pick you up on Saturday for dinner.â
âGreat,â you said. âI look forward to it.â
âHold on, donât go just yet,â he said. You paused, about to ask him what else he needed when he stooped over and pressed his lips to your cheek. âThanks for coming to my game. Iâm not really sure how you knew I was playing, but Iâm glad you could make it either way.â
âUm â uh â Hiori told me, he told me you were playing, and, er, where to go and what time and all,â you stammered, trying to wrap your head around what had just happened, replaying it in your mind over and over.
âHiori? I shouldâve known heâd be the type to meddle like that,â he said. âIâm not even going to ask how you know each other. The answer will probably make me feel vaguely discomfited, so Iâll abide by an âignorance is blissâ policy.â
âThatâs probably for the best,â you said, composing yourself, though internally, you were imagining what it would be like if you had turned your head, if instead of your cheek his lips had landed somewhere else. âOkay, I should go now. See you on Saturday?â
âOne last thing. Youâre pretty transparent, you know,â he said, grasping your chin in his left hand and leaning in. Your eyelashes fluttered shut as he grew closer and closer, but right when his mouth was a hairâs breadth from yourself, he chuckled. âAlso, pretty gullible.â
Instead of kissing you like you had anticipated he would, he tackled you in another hug. You squealed in protest, but he held fast, his body rumbling with laughter as you simultaneously struggled to escape and clung onto him as tightly as you could.
âI hate you,â you said when your half-hearted efforts proved to be entirely futile.
âSure you do,â he said.
âYouâre the worst,â you said.
âAbsolutely,â he said.
âIâm being serious here. You smell!â you said.
âWell, thatâs plain rude of you to say,â he said, messing up your hair in what you were sure he deemed to be a punishment, as if being crushed against his sweaty form wasnât punishment enough.
âLet go of me, you idiot crow!â you said.
âNo can do,â he said. âCrows are clingy birds, you know. Even the idiotic ones. Ask me again in twenty years and maybe we can revisit the issue.â
âKarasu!â
#karasu x reader#karasu x y/n#karasu x you#karasu tabito#bllk x reader#bllk#blue lock#academic rivals to lovers#reader insert#m1ckeyb3rry milestone#m1ckeyb3rry writes
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𩸠period hormones + brains đ§
If you are reading this, you are probably a person who gets our not-so-loved â¨periodâ¨, and if you are, you must be familiar with the feeling of having a hormone monstress (or monster) inside you that makes you feel bad physically and emotionally. đ You cannot get your tasks done properly, you feel like your hormones are going crazy (which also makes YOU crazy) and you just want to go and watch Netflix with a big ice cream pot during this special time of the month, am I right? đ¤ But why is that happening to us?
In case you have not heard about them, the hormones progesterone and oestrogen (both produced during our menstrual cycle, more specifically during its luteal phase aka the pre menstruation phase), as well as their co-dependent changes throughout the course of a femaleâs (or not đłď¸âđ) lifetime, have long been known to play an important role in the growth and equilibrium of people who have a menstruation cycle. đŠ¸
It is known that the variation of these two hormones can cause some physical discomforts such as, for example, acne, cramps, and tender breasts (as you probably know very well đ). As stated by M. Guida, J. Y. Yen and others, we also have some neurovegetative matters (donât freak out, this only refers to non-voluntary nervesâ distribution to the organs, on the word of the online free dictionary by Farlex) like sleeping and eating issues. đ¤đ¨
However, this hormonesâ variation has lately been shown to have an essential importance in the neurological and psychological growth and function as well. đ§ According to M. A. Farage and colleagues, brain function, our perception, mood, sensory sensitivity, anxiety, among other things are affected by our menstrual cycle (and probably we all can relate to this đŠ). Btw, look at that beautiful and mean hormone monstress! đ
A lot of people suffer from sex hormone based mental health disorders, for instance the premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), which is now classified as a new depressive disorder in the DSMâ5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). đŹÂ Yup, things are real, for the folks out there who thought we are just drama queens/kings... đââď¸
As stated by the Cambridge University Press, it is considered PMDD when the different menstruation symptoms I have told you about, which emerge before the period starts and decrease when it comes, affect people in a debilitating way, what can significantly affect their quality of life as well. It tends to impact only five to eight percent of reproductive-age individuals so don't worry, you probably don't suffer from this specific disorder. Phew! đŽâđ¨ đ¤
We also have the premenstrual syndrome (PMS), which is known as way weaker than the PMDD but is still clinically relevant, as it should, because it also has an influence on the quality of a personâs life. As said by J. Gandy, it is estimated that thirty to forty percent of people who have a menstruation cycle suffer with PMS; however, a larger number of individuals describe emotional problems connected to this. Well, Jessie from New Girl definitely does! đđ
S. Tschudin stated that during the premenstrual stage of our cycle, nearly sixty percent of people feel at least minor "anger or irritability"/"tearfulness or mood swings" (personally, I just transform into a little Hulk đşđ˘). Moreover, studies made by L. Dennerstein suggest that the presence of no less than one premenstrual symptom throughout someone's reproductive life might as well be drastically greater, estimated to be up to ninety percent. I know, our struggle is real, donât you agree? đđđ
To wrap things up, let's talk a bit about self-esteem and our cycle. Talking generally, the link between poor levels of self-esteem and depression is well known, as individuals who feel depressed tend to feel that way about themselves. đ Self-esteem and confidence have always been important to people since it enables individuals to manage more effectively day-to-day occurrences, among many other reasons. A person with bigger self-love = a happier person. đđ¤
D. Taylor has shown in his research that levels of self-esteem were lower in the premenstrual phase in people who suffer from PMS. Multiple research (specifically done by U. Orth in 2008 and K. Dedovic in 2014, if you want to check them) also showed that poor levels of self-esteem may be seen as a clinical indication of a depressed mood, which can back D. Taylorâs research as, in general, we tend to feel more depressed in this cycleâs phase. đ Thanks to our period for murdering our self-esteem! đ¤
The menstrual cycle is an important subject for researching how sex hormone variations affect us psychologically during our cycle. Though scientific studies on the menstrual problems that I have talked about, such as PMDD, are relatively not many, this information shows us that people who are most affected by these disorders may have more psychological issues that can debilitate them. đ However, I want you guys to understand that, even with the existent studies we have, a link between any psychological changes observed and the menstruation cycle has not actually been confirmed yet. đ¤Â
Although I made this post to give you more info about this topic, it is still unclear if the mood changes and other psychological symptoms affect our cognitive abilities, or if there is a specific and implicit hormonal disorder that is affecting them, but researchers are working on it and improving what we know about it day by day. Yay! đđ I hope I was able to help you better understand how and why our bodies work like that. Iâll leave you with an awesome Ariel meme. đ¤ That's all for today friends, bye-bye! âď¸đ
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REPOSTING THIS CUZ ITS HAUNTING ME BUT ALSO WHERE TF IS THAT ONE BRILLIANT POST WITH THE ANDERPERRY HEADCANON WHERE NEIL MAKES A BUDGET OF $5.98 WHENEVER THEY GO SHOPPING OR SOME SHIT !?!?!??
I KNOW ITS SOMEWHERE I CANT FIND IT (like any random tumblr post that suddenly jolts me awake and racks my brain)
todd's birthday scene from the original script (that was later changed) makes me want to kms
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