#I want a different body I think my gender is too cool for what I’m currently working with

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

Fuck this shit I wish I had a cool ass pair of wings or if that’s too much to ask for then I’ll at LEAST settle for fangs it’s what I deserve

[mayhemories]

Neteyam x readers kids to lovers eventually, before WOTW bc I carnt handle his death

Eywa, A Sign

Ohhh it kills me, I love this boy. He died for what? Pandora Jesus better resurrects him next time, or I will have words with Mr Cameron. Not sure if I did your request justice, hope I did <3 

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x Reader (James Cameron’s Avatar) 

Requested: Yes | No

Warnings: None? Just straight fluff. Reader is an orphan trope/parental death. Mentions of death. 

Words: 1.58k

Author’s Notes: Neteyam is roughly 18/19 here, Reader is 18, Lo’ak and Kiri are 17, and my girl Tuk is still the same. Set before Way of the Water. 

Please note that the reader utilises she/her pronouns. If you’d prefer male or gender-neutral pronouns in fic I’m more than happy to repost a male or gn version of the story, otherwise include any pronoun preferences in the request box!

Read below the cut

Many Na’vi died following Toruk Macto. Either due to the impact of the battlefield violence or, their wounds upon return to their clan. Your parents, two brave Omatikaya warriors, died at the hands of the Sky People during a routine raid on supply shipments. 

Jake and Neytiri were quick to take you under their care, love and protection. Practically becoming one of their own. Being a few months younger than Neteyam and a year older than the twins, Kiri and Lo’ak, you slipped right in.

Jake was never afraid to reprimand you like you were his own, either. Like the time you were twelve, Lo’ak eleven:

“Now what did I tell you two?” Jake had you and Lo’ak lined up against the wall of the clan stronghold, sprung by the Olo’eyktan from the moment you came sneaking back in after curfew. 

“Don’t be in the forest after eclipse-” You and Lo’ak mumbled under your breaths, knowing that Jake wouldn’t let up.

“Yes! That’s right, don’t be in the forest after eclipse!” he said, exasperated, holding his hands above his head, dragging them down across his face. “And where were you two knuckleheads?” His face was annoyed, though his eyes were soft. We were his kids, god forbid anything happened to us. 

“Look dad (y/n) had nothing to do with it, it was all me-” Lo’ak started, but you finished,

“Sir, Lo’ak didn’t want to go, I wanted to go.” You and Lo’ak shared a small smile, he was your brother, through and through. 

Jake shook his head, hands on hips. 

“Go, go, both of you. Wash up.” He was stern, but as you two skxawngs ran past him you saw the gentle smile lay on his lips. 

As you got older you noticed Jake becoming harder and harder on his boys. For whatever reason Lo’ak almost gave up on pleasing Jake, felt like he could never be enough for him, a spec of dust compared to Neteyam’s glittering gold. Maybe that was why, why he was so impulsive and reckless, consistently. Any attention being good attention for Lo’ak. Regardless of his intentions, you liked that about him. He encourages your sense of adventure like a brother should, was always there to catch you when you fall. Neteyam and Lo’ak were different sides of the same coin, both living to please Jake in one way or another. Jake saw himself in Lo’ak and that scared him, you knew that,

But Neteyam…shit, Neteyam. 

You always saw Neteyam differently. As kids, he felt too cool for you to be around. This developed over time as you, yourself developed. As you felt awkward and out of place in your body, tail giving away every thought and feeling, Neteyam got taller, got broader, got sweeter. As an awkward teenager, your little soft spot evolved into a full-blown crush. You kept it under wraps sure, Lo’ak teasing you here and there but he never thought anything serious of it. Shit, you tried not to think anything of it. He was the future Olo’eyktan, he was the future of the clan. 

Now, freshly eighteen you were considered a woman: A relatively fierce Ikran rider, bow made from wood of the tree to replace the Hometree that was lost to the Sky People, a hunter. You surpassed any ritual trail of clan-life easily, save for one. Save for probably the most important one. 

Finding a mate. 

So, here you were, kneeling on the beautiful deep green moss surrounding the base of the Tree of Voices. The tree was glowing purple, fading to a light pink and back again, streaks of white travelled up and down the tendril of the tree, where you’ve made the bond. The hum of the ancestors created a white noise in you mind, helping to create a true vision. Praying to Eywa always gave you a sense of calm, like all anxieties were being blown right through your body, energy settling itself back into the world. 

“My dear All-Mother Eywa, I come to you now for guidance, for advice.” You started, clamping your eyes shut to encourage any kind of vision, so that you may see into the realm beyond that of physical sight. 

Neteyam knew it was wrong, to listen to your private prayers with Eywa. But he did not make a move to leave his advantageous spot, hidden amongst trees and rocks, he could watch you freely. His whole life felt like it revolved around you, and your alluring presence, strong heart, strong mind. 

Neteyam officially became a man the year prior, it was expected of him as the future clan leader to have already chosen a woman. And, in some ways he had. It had always been you, it was always you. Neteyam loved you, and it was never as a sister as Lo’ak has. When you were children you would play family. Neteyam was the dad, you the mum, Kiri and Lo’ak the kids. Neteyam knew from a young age that he didn’t want to play family with anyone else. 

He assumed Neytiri always knew, too. She never pressured him in claiming a mate, or even talking about it. Jake, well he was less switched on when it came to Neteyam’s shy nature. He was always pestering Neteyam about it-

Jake had flown Neteyam and himself to a floating mountain so that him and his first born son could speak freely: “Look, I’m not even saying you have to mate straight away! But at least court someone Neteyam, you’re the future of this clan-” Jake started, but for the first and last time in his life, Neteyam cut his father off.

“I am waiting for (y/n)!” Neteyam yelled, holding the bridge of his nose, anticipating that Jake would come back with a raised voice as he most often did. It did not come. Instead Jake closed the distance between him and his son, wrapping his arms around his beautiful baby boy, who wasn’t a baby anymore. Neteyam loosened, wrapping his still lanky arms around his father. With his chin resting on Neteyam’s head, Jake chuckled:

“Well then, wait for her as long as you need.” 

“I love her.” Neteyam admitted quietly. 

“I know you do, kid.” 

Neteyam shook the memory from his mind, and focused back on your kneeling, praying figure in front of him. 

“My mother Eywa, what am I to do?” You felt exasperated, lost. “I��� I am afraid that the one I love does not love me Eywa.” 

Neteyam’s chest tightened, although he always knew it was a possibility that you may not want him, he tried his hardest swaying anyone else’s decision in the matter. The glares he had sent to all the young na’vi during their teen years, and at your own ceremony of womanhood, Neteyam made it clear with growls and possessive hovering that he was waiting for you. Although, maybe he could’ve made it clearer to you. 

“Great Eywa please, please show me a sign that Neteyam and I will be named mates.” you whispered, scared to admit his name in the scenario, aloud. 

Neteyam felt like he could vomit. He slowly approached you, kneeling beside you, as if he were beginning to pray, himself.

You could feel his heat, his being as he sat down, you didn’t need to open your eyes to confirm. Besides that, you could feel all the blood drain from your body and rush back up to your cheeks and ears. Clearing your throat, you decided that this was a good a sign as any. 

“Neteyam” You opened your eyes, his beautiful warm honey ones already locked on your face, “how much of that did you hear?” 

Neteyam hung his head in shame, shaking some of his braids from their resting places, blood rushing to his cheeks. 

“I am so sorry, I know I shouldn’t have listened to your private words spoken with Eywa.” Neteyam spoke softly, like he always did with you. “But I could not help it, especially knowing you have not chosen a mate yet.” Neteyam spoke around a lump in his throat, “I needed to know why.” 

Your mind was rushing a million miles per minute. But fake bravado was something that Lo’ak taught you, and something you could hide behind.

“You know, you haven’t chosen anyone either. My ceremony was last week, yours was last year.” You said, catching his eye again, with a slight smile on your lips. Neteyam laughed. Shit, you loved that sound. You could die happy now, hearing his laugh. 

“I have chosen,” your stomach dropped at his words, though sensing your anxiety Neteyam wove one of his hands with yours, and pinned you to the spot with his warm eyes. “I just had to wait a year for her to choose me too.” 

And all at once it felt like Eywa had breathed life into you, and Neteyam. Like your soul was made of milk and honey and you were going to flow on forever. 

You kissed him, your hands cupped his beautiful face, his slender fingers settling on your waist, nestling between beads and cloth. 

He came out of the kiss laughing, needing air. You let out a laugh too, keeping your foreheads together. 

“I see you.” You whispered, still scared that if you speak too loud this dream will dissipate into the colours of Pandora’s jungle, floating away from you entirely. 

“I have only ever seen you,” Neteyam said, smiling. His silver freckles set alight from the glow of the Tree of Voices. 

Happiness was simple.

[bunniekittiee]

Movie Night

I wanted to do headcanons for a movie night with some of the men from MK cause rn I wanna watch a movie and eat snacks and cry my feelings out lol. I just did gender neutral reader instead of fem.

A little nsfw but only at Kung Lao and Raiden’s part . Not detailed or anything, just hinted at.

Characters- Tomas, Kuai Liang, Bi-Han, Kung Lao, Raiden

Tomas-

He was probably the one to suggest movie night. He loves watching movies, as well as spending time with his s/o.

He will make sure to set aside time for movie nights so that he doesn’t miss it or get sidetracked with other things.

Tomas likes to watch comedy movies, but he will watch a good horror movie.

He doesn’t like action movies too much as he lives in the action. He doesn’t want to see what he does on a day-to-day basis on the tv screen.

He will watch Spiderman though (hehe). Thinks Spiderman is great. Peter Parker reminds him of himself (hmm I wonder why).

Tomas doesn’t get scared very easily when watching horror movies. He can expect the jump scares a lot of the time.

But he doesn’t mind if his s/o cuddles into him or grabs onto him if they’re scared. He thinks it’s cute.

He likes to tease them about it.

Tomas loves to have a lot of snacks available for him and his significant other. He will go shopping beforehand and get everything for movie night.

Will make crazy concoctions of his popcorn with M&M’s and chocolate syrup sometimes (I’ve had that before I will admit it and it was good so don’t even bully him)

He likes the saltiness and sweetness of his weird popcorn concoction.

Absolutely feels like crap after he eats a lot of bad snacks. He’s got a bloated tummy, and he feels a bit gross.

Will ask for a tummy rub during the movie.

Likes to wear matching pjs during movie nights.

Kuai Liang-

He looks forward to movie nights because that is when he gets time to relax and spend time with his lover.

He and his s/o will eat a meal while watching movies. He prefers it that way a little bit.

So he will have their kitchen cooks prepare what they want so it is ready for their movie time. Or sometimes Kuai Liang will make it himself.

He is a great cook, he is skilled at many things.

Loved cuddling while watching movies. He will increase his body temperature to be his s/o’s personal blanket.

Expect a lot of kisses from Kuai, he’s v affectionate, esp during movie time.

He will like to watch romance or rom-coms. He isn’t a horror fan, he will watch them but he isn’t into it really.

Kuai doesn’t get scared, he is just tired of seeing bloodshed. When it’s something he deals with everyday, he doesn’t want to see it at home when he’s relaxing.

But paranormal movies are a little different, he will watch those.

Sometimes gets a little paranoid but he won’t admit it.

Kuai dresses comfortably during movie night so he’s typically shirtless and in lounge pants or sweats. Maybe even his boxers, it just depends.

Liang will indulge in snacks though, even if he prefers meals. But nothing crazy. He’s not like Tomas where his sweet tooth is crazy big, but it’s still there.

Will fuck up a pack of cupcakes to himself. Licks the container clean.

Bi-Han-

He’s the Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei, why should he waste time watching Hollywood films?

You put on the Addams Family, and he’s glued to the screen. He finds it interesting.

It’s hard to sit and watch a movie with Bi-Han. He has to find the time to watch a movie, but also because he has a hard time sitting still.

Not in like an ADHD way, more like in a “there’s important work I need to do and I’m stressing about it” kind of way.

He will watch anything but Johnny Cage’s films. If his s/o put one of his movies on, Bi-Han is walking out and going back to his paperwork.

How dare they waste his time like that?

He does like fantasy films despite living in a fantasy world himself. He’s never seen a dragon, but wouldn’t that be cool to see?

He’s sure they exist in one of the realms. He just has to find it.

Doesn’t really snack on junk food, he’s more of a fruit salad kind of guy (fruit salad is good tho so i cant blame him).

Eats his vegetables. Ugh, why Bi-Han?

He will indulge in some sweets like dark chocolate, but that’s the farthest he will go. He’s just never been a fan of sweets or carbs I guess.

Party Pooper Bi-Han.

But he will buy his s/o all the snacks they want and what foods they want as well. He’ll even have the chefs cook something.

He wants his lover to be happy and content. Plus he doesn’t mind if they eat junk food. He thinks it’s cute.

Will make the temperature cold so his s/o cuddles with him closer. He pretends like he doesn’t do it on purpose.

Kinda prefers to watch TV in bed rather than sit in the living room or somewhere else.

He only feels that way because he can turn over on his side and go to bed if he’s tired enough. On a couch, he can’t do that.

Especially on the uncomfortable ass couches in the Lin Kuei palace that are not made for comfort. He would rather get his spine ripped out.

Kung Lao-

You have to have an entire four-course dinner catered to this man during movie time.

He’s a bottomless pit. He has to do a lot of shopping if he knows he and his s/o are having a movie night.

He will eat so many snacks it’s ridiculous.

He likes comedy movies, but he will sit down and watch a horror movie too.

Slasher films to be specific. Doesn’t like poltergeist movies, he’s afraid he will be haunted.

He won’t admit that though. But if he and his s/o watch a poltergeist movie he will do his best to seem like he’s not scared.

Is the type to overanalyze horror films and point on the flaws or how unrealistic it is.

Has choked laughing at a comedy film and it just about gave his s/o a heart attack.

If cuddling ensues, be prepared to have crumbs stuck to you. He makes a mess.

Kung Lao was also the one to probably suggest movie night similar to Tomas.

Will give his s/o small kisses during the movie but doesn’t do it too much. He knows he will get too horny, and there will be no point of return.

Sometimes there has been movie nights ‘ruined’ by his horniness. I say ruined lightly because it’s not really ruined yk.

He just gets distracted easily. He cant help it.

Does make up for it with another movie night and tries to control his horniness but don’t bet on it.

Raiden-

Big on cuddling, absolute cuddle bug.

Has a lot of blankets ready and will make the house cold so he and his s/o can cuddle close.

Likes watching family kind of movies or romance. Doesn’t like horror really.

He’s a mix of junk food and healthy food. He likes to keep his physique nice.

But he doesn’t care if his s/o eats junk food, he will buy them anything they want.

Raiden will give his s/o small kisses during the movies, and he will pull them closer to his body. He likes having them close to him.

He’s a big softie as everyone knows, so movie time is mainly just kissing and cuddling. He’s not outwardly sexual about it.

But he won’t turn his s/o down if they engage in it.

Tends to fall asleep during movies. He gets so comfortable esp around his s/o, so he feels sleepy.

Loves it when they play with his hair. It makes him feel even more drowsy.

He loves their fingers going through his locks and the sensations.

Doesn’t outwardly ask for a massage during movie time but he may hint at it.

BONUS!!!!!!!!

Liu Kang-

He’s excited for movie time!!

He does love some relaxation after a stressful day. He has a lot of stress in his life being Earthrealm’s Protector.

So he likes to unwind when he can. Liu Kang is never against taking mental health days.

He likes to watch peaceful movies. Something romantic but not heart wrenching.

Horror movies aren’t something he wants to watch. He’s seen much worse in his life.

They aren’t frightening to him, but he does like it when his s/o cuddles closer to him because they’re scared.

Makes him feel big and strong.

Showers his s/o in kisses. Kisses all over their face and body. He attacks them with kisses.

Smiles when they kiss him back.

Cuddles are great with him, he holds his s/o in his lap practically and he is just v comfortable to be around.

After watching sci-fi movies, he likes to discuss different theories both he and his s/o may have about the lore of the movie.

He likes to hear them talk about things that they’re questioning and what they’re interested to know.

Of course, he doesn’t have the answers, but he likes to theorize.

[l3viat8an]

Hey, got any fem!Levi headcannons? I’m currently working on a story where my MC, Jasper, accidentally gender bends the brothers because he mixed up potion homework from Solomon with dinner because he was exhausted from running around RAD doing things.

You are the best Levi fan that I’m aware of, so I send the ask to you!

Hiiii that sounds so cool!-

Honestly I just kinda typed these out so it’s all random stuff- but uhh yea, hopefully it helps ya a bit!!! + I’ll check my old fem! Obey me hcs later ‘n probably add to this

If it’s possible Levi’s even more self conscious than before. No matter what she’s doing, she’s sure everybody is staring at her. So she tries to stick closer to hide behind MC or even one of her sisters whenever they’re out in public.

Levi still prefers oversized shirts and baggy pants over more feminine clothes, especially when going out or doing stuff. It more comfortable to stick with what she’s used too.

But she has a few skirts and even a Ruri-Chan themed dress in her closet she’ll try on “just to see how it looks!” not because that was the first thing that popped into her mind and she was so excited she almost ran to try them on-

(I don’t know if you already have any body ideas for Levi so let me add my take; she’d probably be pretty flat in the chest, (Asmo offers to buy her a padded bar or two but Levi keeps refusing). Her hair would be just past shoulder length, now too long because it would be annoying and she’d have to tie it up all the time. But Levi still wants it long enough she can try some fun hairstyles! Besides that pretty much the same and she still slouches even when she’s standing up.) (extra kinda crack note; Mammon would teases Levi about her flat chest a lot and Levi always snaps back that hers are normal sized! jskjsksn)

Asmo basically drags Levi out to shop insisting that they both need to try on some new dresses or at least check out what’s trending!!! (Maybe Levi will like it if she’d just try it!) And even if Levi doesn’t want to admit it, she totally has fun trying on a bunch of different dresses and styles!!! She still doesn’t buy much. Maybe one or two new skirts and a t-shirt, but she thinks about the other outfits she tried on until she gets home and orders a couple of them online in secret.

Simultaneously has gender euphoria and is oddly uncomfortable in her own skin. It’s kinda hard to explain- she would love having a fem!body and there are sooo many different cosplays she can try now. But at the same time it feels weird-

adding to that ^^ Levi’s probably really whiny about the whole gender bend thing, either complaining to MC (/your oc) or Henry 2.0 in her room. because she’s not sure how to feel.

anyways!!! That’s what I can think of right now, if you had something else in mind or just wanna hear more feel free to send another ask (or even dm me) XD

[foldingfittedsheets]

Sometimes my betrothed and I talk about homebrew magic items for DnD. Specifically, off the grid sex magic stuff. Because honestly, if you think about it, the market for sexy magic would be through the roof.

A mage who invents a new sex spell would have it made, that’s it, they can just cast this one spell forever and be set for life. People love getting it on and they love gadgets with which to do so.

Because this is a niche topic I’m gonna stick it under a cut, read on for sexy silliness.

Some of the items we imagine are very standard, just nice ways to magically improve a sex life. Easy access to magic lube, portable sex toy storage, specific toys. The idea I came up with yesterday however is… very cursed.

It came up from us discussing our characters sex lives, as you do. My character Orion is gender fluid and can rearrange their anatomy at will to suit whatever they’re feeling. Kahriq is a cis lady. We’ve already posited that there’s a ring of dick-having if Kahriq wants to mix things up sometimes.

But my betrothed was asking if they’d ever use a toy even though Orion can have a penis and I was like, oh, of course, sometimes you need that for different positions. Then after a pause I was like, “It’s too bad they wouldn’t be able to feel what the toy was doing though.”

And from this seed my betrothed and I came to two very different conclusions. Their idea was to have a magic item you attune to that transfers sensation from the toy to your own body so it feels like you’re doing the fucking. This is a solid magic item, feeling the sensation on your own body is a great concept.

My idea was to have a magic cock ring that popped your penis off and made it into a sex toy. Like a penis portal cock ring. When I told my betrothed this idea their whole face scrunched up in absolute disgust. “Popping the dick off?! That’s what you came up with?!”

“Yeah, and you could give yourself a comfortable blowjob by just detaching it which I think is pretty cool!” This was a lie. I thought my idea was bizarre and a little unsettling to picture but I’m nothing if not a sales person.

They argued that it was in fact horrifying to pop off body parts and if we’re being honest I have to agree that their idea was just better in every way. But mine still has a certain charm. I bet my penis pop off cock ring would still sell.

Edit to add: it would appear I am not the first person to have this idea which is comforting in its own way.

[crookedt44th]

JR.3 MARINARA MAGIC | LMH

PAIRINGS ➳ lee minho x gender-neutral reader (cora)

GENRE ➳ friends to lovers ◦ slow burn ◦ heavy angst ◦ horror ◦ psychological thriller ◦ fantasy ◦ slight humor ◦ ghosts ◦ will add more later!

WARNINGS ➳ mental issues (derealization) ◦ memory loss ◦ inappropriate language ◦ suggestive themes, but no smut ◦ death ◦ gore(?) ◦ smoking ◦ lots of drug and alcohol use ◦ cruel society ◦ adult life crisis ◦ bad life decisions ◦ religious themes ◦ class struggles ◦ hallucinations ◦ food mentions ◦ hints of eating disorder ◦ will add more later!

WC ➳ 6,000+

STATUS ➳ Ongoing.

ABOUT ➳ After dropping out of college, Cora returns home to their small town of Stormvillie with the hopes of reconnecting with their friends they left behind and resuming their carefree previous life. However, things have changed since then. Their friends have grown up and changed, and home seems different now. The wind is getting colder and the leaves are falling. As the night gets darker, strange things are happening.

And there's something in the woods.

NIGHT IN THE WOODS SERIES

CHARACTERS AND THEIR STORIES

PREVIOUS JOURNAL

Scott Pilgrim v. My GPA - Mom Jeans. started playing ...

There’s a quiet inside of this open air. It expands and fills, and soon, you’re walking through the thick, tangible quiet. And if you listen, if you really listen, you can hear the pulse of the world, the old hum we almost remember, the old language etched into us. 

It’s a strange thing, to hear the quiet. 

One day, I’ll be quiet forever. 

One day, I’ll exist in the space between words. 

One day, you’ll hear me whispering into the open air, singing something you can almost understand.

I closed my eyes, fantasized about a quiet life. 

Suddenly, I feel at home.

But when I opened my eyes, I started to see shapes. 

I’m somewhere.

Just not here.

It’s hard for me to see exactly where the hell I went wrong

I never thought I’d see the day we wouldn’t get along

You think I smoke too much, I think your friends suck

September 23, 9:34 a.m.

I feel awful. 

I don’t even know what happened yesterday.

DId I do something crazy yesterday? 

With my head still resting on the pillow, I reach beneath the blanket to find my phone. I lifted my head off the pillow and browsed through my lock screen as soon as I did. Many of Jisung's missed messages. 

Did I say some wild shit last night??

[J.0ne] yo das was honestly the most beautiful speech ive ever heard in my entire life

I don’t want to know.

With a grumble, I forced myself to get out of bed in the hopes that taking a shower would help me feel less disgusted. I put on a large, baggy shirt that was sitting on top of my toilet after I finished my shower. I looked in the mirror as I began to wash my teeth. I look like fucking shit.

Hey, don’t be mean to yourself. 

I have the worst face on earth. 

Well, I mean, you look totally awesome in that big old band shirt you totally did not steal from that one little vendor at the mall where an old man just makes the graphic shirt for you. 

I straightened up my posture and placed my hands on my hip, looking at the shape of my body. 

I should lose weight. 

Nah, you look fine. 

No, I don’t. I should really stop eating a lot. 

It’s cool, dude. Not everyone needs to be super duper skinny!

Fine, I should be more positive about myself, whatever the internet says. I am just a real human being. 

My hands slipped off my hips, and I stood there straight, staring blankly at myself. 

And no one can prove that I’m not. 

…

I should read the messages my friends sent me.

After hurrying to my room to find my phone, I nervously went through the messages Jisung had sent me. I texted him back after learning that he hadn't given me many details about what I had done the previous night. 

[C0conut] wat rlly happened last night

[J.0ne] sum beautiful speech that u did in front of lino i dunno i dun rememebaer anythanng

[VanDivision] you called him a cute boy.

[CB97] And then you puked on his shirt again hahaha 

[C0conut] ಠ_ಠ he prob hates me again

[J.0ne] whu CARRRESS plssssss come by chris outlet job stuff work now me me bored here  

I shrugged and let out a breath before tossing my phone onto my bed. I decided to keep this large t-shirt on, find some jorts, and throw on another flannel. Despite the fact that I had lost my other pair of Converse shoes, these fucked up black vans will have to do. My name was called from the kitchen as I sauntered down the stairs. I figured the breakfast was ready. 

“Heya mom, what’re we having today?”

"Hey, sweetie, you look awful!" Mom giggled as she set down a plate with a sandwich and a bowl of soup. "For breakfast, we're eating sandwiches and soups. Plus, you went to a party; I'm not sure how much you drank, but you needed this soup anyway."

"Awesome." I dug in with my spoon and sipped the warm liquid down my throat, feeling relaxed.

"Rough night?" Mom went on, holding up a book to read.

“You know it.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

You hummed, “I saw Minho.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“A little bit.”

"Give it some time. He will get to you." She flicked through another page of her book, "I believe most of the repair workers have left the town center. Some shops are still under construction, though."

"Oh really?" Taking a bite out of the sandwich, I said.

"I remember how much you enjoyed climbing some buildings."

"I've thought about doing it again."

"No, sweetie. You should go to jail for that, no?" Mom arched an eyebrow at me. 

“They’ll never catch me!”

“Your aunt will catch you.”

“Boooo.” I dropped the almost eaten sandwich and slouched down. "I'm going to finish this later, mom; I have to go." 

“Alright, well, have fun! Stay safe!”

I quickly grabbed my shoulder bag from the hanger and bolted out the door. I'm getting a little eager for autumn as I stroll down the street and feel the cool morning breeze. I saw some of the local businesses were closed as I passed by them and noticed a group of elderly men gathered around one of the stores.

"There won't be Stormvillie if we don't start doing business right." Says the tall old man dressed in a business suit.

"Well, it appears that we must take whatever action we can." Says a different large, bearded man. "To make the market take note of us!"

Huh, wild. On my left, where I used to go since I was a child, was the closed doughnut shop. A lot of stores are really closing down.

"Will, you're not listening- it's not of sufficient historical note."

"Brother, most folks don't even give a damn about our jobs anymore. Our pay is really low!"

"There must never be another fight at a stop sign."

I left nonetheless, not wanting to listen in on some of the things adults like to talk about, and went past the old pizza place I used to and still enjoy. The pizza place is still open, at least. Perhaps I should bring my buddies here. Maybe with Minho. 

The middle schooler was once more playing on his Nintendo while perched on the seat next to the statue. I looked up at the bronze statue of the man who built this town, the man holding up his axe. The child was still engrossed in the game and was not aware of my presence when I peered down at him.

"Shouldn't you be at school?" I asked, looking down at the child.

"I'm gonna skip." His little fingers hitting the buttons with aggression, his eyes fixed on the game rather than me. 

“Geez.” 

The boy lost the game and groaned out of frustration, “I’ve been going at this game for hours! And I still didn’t get it.”

“What’re you playin’ this time?”

“Star Wars; Battlefront.” 

“Seriously? Star Wars?”

“You don’t like them?” Lori let out a cry and held his palms over his mouth dramatically. “All of my friends are playing the Star Wars games! One of my friends said they’re coming over tonight to play the games with me on my nintendo 64.” 

“I just don’t get the hype.” I shrugged.

“Hmph!” He again folded his arms in a drama queen manner, then rose from his chair and grabbed the skateboard that was next to him. "Hey, you wanna go to the library for a second?" Lori asked, gesturing to the neighborhood library across the street.

I look at him, then at the library, and I start to wonder if I have time left at all. "Sure," I nodded.

"There used to be strange little letters hidden in some of the books. My friend and I would open every book to find more, sort of like on a scavenger hunt!" Lori kept talking while we strolled towards the library. 

“Weird letters?”

“Yeah! Some letters are about odd cult shit or something.” Cult?

Lori wandered the library, trying to find a certain book. I trailed after him to the Bible area, where I watched him leaf through the books, choose one, and hand it to me. I found the letter by grabbing and turning the pages. "I was not made for this kind of test," the paper said in such a hurried handwriting when I unfolded it. “I will fall apart. I will not stay. I will come undone, and you will never see me again."

"This letter is so weird, right?" He chuckled: "I think there's someone in town trying to troll some gullible kids here for fun."

"Could be. Not really remotely close to odd cult shit, whatever you say, but close enough."  I remarked, still staring at how familiar the handwriting was. 

“Lori, did you save the other letters?” I shoved the letter in my pocket. 

“Nope, Mom threw it away. She thought it’s a curse or something.” He shrugged, taking out his nintendo sitting on the table. 

“Bummer. I’ma go now.”

“Bye, killer!”

“Okay, now don’t call me that.”

Can’t figure out the reason why our parents fight so much

But I’ve given up on luck

But I’m happy here

“Yeah, he’s cute but what are his critical thinking abilities? His political stance? Socioeconomic aspirations?”Jisung began talking nonsensically as soon as I entered the store. Chan, dressed in black dress slacks and a white button-up shirt, leaned against the counter and wore an elegant gold watch that his father had most likely given him. Then there's Jisung, the typical punk, decked out in his trademark red and black. Worn-out black leather jacket with a revolution illustration and a few words scattered throughout it, paired with cargo trousers and tall boots. You already know it.

"What is happening here?" Asking, "Are you seeing someone?" I broke up the talk between the two men' talk, who beamed at me.

"What? No way!" Jisung waved his hand in denial. I stared at the blue-haired man one more time after turning to look at Chan for confirmation. He was stifling his laughter. "All right, maybe, but..."

"Who is it, though?"

"All right, so this guy that I've been chatting with online for a few months now has been arranging to meet me here," Again rambling, he leaned on the counter, clasped his hands together, and bowed his head. "Vanna, on the other hand, does not approve of me going on a date with this guy because I did not know what the guy looked like in person. So this motherfucker is setting me up with another guy.”

“Woah, you don’t know what he looks like? Han, don’t you think that’s pretty alarming?” I frowned, “Vanna is right though.”

"Yeah, but he's sweet, a smooth talker, and so caaaring. She's matching me up with someone I'm not supposed to see until we go on the date, which is scary enough than meeting up with a guy I've talked to already!" Jisung turned around swiftly, looking away from us and folding his arm like if he were a cartoon character being betrayed by bunny bugs or something.

"Dude, whatever." I looked over at Chan, who was arranging the pricey, ornate jewelry and watches—some of which were vintage—on the front table. I browsed the store, enjoying how cozy and antique it seemed—like a grandpa's store in London. It seems to make sense that his father owned the store. "Chan, do you know about shops being shut down?"

"Yes," he said, perking up and nodding before returning his attention to organizing. "What about it?"

"Will this store close down as well?"

"Well. Who knows, probably. In any case, my dad does things his own way."

“...”

“...”

"Would you not want to go to, you know, Los Angeles or somewhere else, if you were so rich? Live in a big modern house?" I inquired, unsure whether it was insensitive or not. But he knew I was always curious.

"I wish it was that simple, Cora," laughed Chan.

“Simple? Don’t you have zillions of dollars to be able to do it anyway?”

“Crazy of you to think we have THAT amount of money.” He snorted, shaking his head. 

"I wish I had an answer for you, kiddo. But recently, things have become more complicated." He stooped to pick up the boxes, which he then carried behind the counter and placed on the floor beside numerous other unopened boxes. Jisung gave us both a perplexed look, and I shrugged at him, feeling uncomfortable and guilty for being overly curious. "Well, I apologize for the sudden mood change. You guys wanna get pizza later today when I’m off work?”

“Oh yeah! Good thing that Marinara Magic is still open.” I exclaimed, getting excited at the thought of us getting together to eat pizza like little kids again. 

"Dude, right now I would kill for a pizza!" Jisung leaped to his feet and followed Chan inside the office. I followed them both as well and went inside what appeared to be Chan's father's office, however he seemed to spend more time here than his father. While the worker was busy finishing up tasks and they were busy chatting, I kept myself occupied by wandering around the office and taking in the many framed awards and certificates. A computer was situated atop an extremely cluttered desk, alongside numerous loose work documents and a few images pinned to the wall beneath the desk. The pictures showed him with his sister, his family, and all of us together. When I gazed upon the following picture, Chan, Minho, and Felix were posing at a high school graduation in their gowns. They wrapped each other's shoulders with their arms while grinning broadly. I turned to face Chan, who was rummaging through the drawers. Even if all he did was dye his hair bright red, which turned into an unpleasant pinkish tone, and he gained weight, he still looked very different. Even though he was only 23, he appeared a little older than his actual age. Maybe, he didn’t sleep at all again. 

I looked at the picture once more, focusing on the boy with brunette hair who was standing next to Chan. I would never be able to pretend that Minho wasn't the cutest kid in high school. Everyone was all over him. He was way out of my league. Even though he is much more stylish and handsome now, his face appears really worn. How am I going to face him next time I see him?

Felix, a ginger freckled boy, stands to the right. I couldn't remember when we had last spent time together. A few months after graduating, he stopped playing in our band and became distant from us. Suddenly, he disappeared from our lives. With his long hair, he now had a much more bad boy appearance, according to the missing poster. He had been, always.

"Hey Cora, would you mind checking to see if they have batteries at the grocery store? I need to work on this..." Chan looked at the surveillance cameras he had taken out of the drawer as he gave me the money. "Vanna works there."

"Oh, sick. I guess I should go then." As I was going to leave the store, Jisung yelled, "GET US SNACKS!" as I snatched the money and jammed it in my pocket.

"YA GOT IT!" I yelled in response.

Since the grocery shop was down the street, the walk wouldn't be too far. Across the street was Poppy's Coffee as well. I thought about going to visit Minho, maybe apologize, and ask him to go have pizza with us later. He used to be my best friend, therefore I should really make it up to him, but the thought frightened me.

Vanna wasn't behind the counter when I went inside the store to look for her. I went through the snack aisle and picked some snacks as well as drinks. I swung around to see Vanna standing directly in front of me, staring at me with no emotion.

"Are you trying to find anything?" Dropping the box and restocking the shelves, Vanna asked nonchalantly. 

“You scared me, dude.”

“My bad. Your head’s okay?”

“Oh, yeah, a little.” I rubbed my head. “You got any batteries?”

“Yeah, behind the counter. What type?” She stopped restocking to go to the counter and searched through the variety of different batteries.

“Type? Shit, I dunno. Chan just said he needs some for the camera or something.”

“What kind of camera? Is it a film?”

“Looks more like a security camera.”

Vanna slammed the product on the counter and began scanning the rest of the items. Vanna didn't seem to buzz, but the sudden loud hum coming from the freezer distracted me. 

“Store looks busted.”

“A lot of shit went down this summer. My boss said he’d order for repairs, but I don't see any motherfucker to come fix it and it’s been months.” As she pushed the objects she had completed scanning in my direction, she said. “No plastic bags either. Someone usually has to bring their own big bag. Better for the environment.”

“Cool.” We both stood silently, just staring at each other.

“So..”

“I didn’t mean anything I’ve said yesterday.”

“It’s cool. I barely remember half of it, honestly.”

“Yeah, me neither. You really need to chill when it comes to drinking.”

“Was it really bad?” I tried not to watch the memory again in my mind as I shamefully rubbed my head.

“Everyone forgot it. I’m sure Minho finds it funny now.” Vanna said as she scrolled on her phone.

I hit my head on the counter and moaned. I'm worried about what Minho thinks of me now, more than whether there's an image somewhere of me getting wasted.

"Do you hate Minho or something?" Sincerely curious, I inquired, recalling vaguely what Vanna had said about him the previous evening.

“No, I was just upset. Just wanted to bring someone up to blame. I should learn not to.” 

“Hm. You wanna go for a pizza with us? Jisung, Chan, maybe Minho.”

“I’m still working.” Vanna looked up from her phone, furrowing her eyebrow.

“Like later.”

“Sure.” 

“Sick.”

“...”

“I should stop by Minho’s work…”

“Good luck, man.” 

So leave my sweater on the porch 

I’ll leave your bag under the stairs

Don’t go back to our old place

It’s probably locked up anyway

I crossed the street tensely, imagining what I should say or how I should apologize as I made my way to Poppy's Coffee. Hesitantly, I paused in front of the store entrance, debating whether or not to go inside or simply walk out and travel to space, never to return. Someone from inside the store opened the door before I could even extend my hand, revealing Minho. His lovely reddish-brown hair and honey complexion glistened in the sun's rays. He gave me a radiant smile.

"Cora! I was just wondering if you were okay." With a broad smile, he flashed his bunny teeth. "I kind of ran to open it for you after seeing you standing there for a minute. You know, you just gotta be a gentleman. Come inside, Co!" Minho laughed as he greeted you with a smile at the rustic coffee shop. The room had a pleasant aroma of roast coffee, antique, charming vintage tables and chairs, and a lot of fairy lights hanging from the ceiling. Since I left, the shop's entire style has evolved. He obviously decorated it, as I could tell. "Oh, and you still enjoy mocha, correct? I can do it right now!" His excitement and sudden outburst of energy reveal a new aspect of him that makes my eyes widen in disbelief.

"What's up with you?" Watching him run in circles and start preparing coffee for me, I blurted out.

"I'm just happy to see you back home," Minho smiled at me, really sweet, and then gathered everything to make coffee on the counter.

“I don’t have any money, dude.”

“On the house!”

“Free drink.. Sick..” I found a table and sat down, observing him prepare a drink. With his small watch on his wrist and a brown apron on top, he had his sweater sleeves rolled up. Now that his hair was groomed, his entire face was visible to me. I completely understand why so many girls were over him. It makes sense that he has a girlfriend. Oh, right.

"I apologize for last night." I looked down, embarrassed, trying to scrape the skin off my arm. And a little disappointed that he actually had a girlfriend.

“Oh, that’s no problem! You were just.. being you again.” With a giggle, he looked up at me and flashed his rabbit teeth once more. "You don't have to buy me a new shirt, by the way. I could easily wash it."

"Well, yeah, I know. I've puked on you twice already, it's ridiculous." I laughed along with him.

"Your hot mocha is here! It's getting chilly outside, and see, I drew you a cat!" Minho approached my table gingerly and set the mug down carefully, revealing a white kitten sketched in cream. Still grinning and gazing at me, he took a seat in front of me as well. I was able to get a closer, clearer look at him. He looked very tired, but his cute big smile topped it off. 

“Since when do you know how to do this?” 

“My mom taught me when I started working. It’s kinda therapeutic actually.” He giggled once again. “God, I’m so giggly today. Maybe, you’re finally here with me again like the good old times.”

“Couldn’t agree more.” I took a sip of the hot mocha and realized it was the best drink I had ever had. "I had a brownie with my coffee the last time I drank it in college, and it tastes really bitter."

Minho snorted, "Obviously, chocolate tastes much sweeter than coffee itself. Of course it will taste bitter."

“I miss Felix’s brownies.” 

“Right, Felix. Do you know about it?”

“Yeah, I always wonder why he left.”

“You think he left? Not like being kidnapped or something?”

“Do you think he was kidnapped?”

With a sigh, he palmed his face and rested his elbow on the table. "Just a hunch on my part. To be honest, nobody in the town seemed to be making any effort to find him. Chan and his family may have tried, but they got nothing."

"Why did you stop talking to Chan and Han?"

"Well, it was a bit complicated." Minho tightened, straightened his back, and gave me a sincere look. "Listen—I am deeply sorry for how I treated you when you told me you were going to college about two years ago."

“Hey, it’s all chill, dude.” 

“No, it’s obviously not. I know you were drunk last night, but everything you said, I’ve thought about it a lot since.” 

“I was just out of my mind. I don’t even remember half of it. Vanna even told me I called you cute, so that’s awkward ‘cause y’know you have a girlfriend and all.” I blurted it out, sulking, and nodding till I turned to face him, who appeared confused.

“...”

“...”

“What?”

“I don’t.. have one?” His head was cocked in confusion at me.

“Dude, that girl at the party, y’know-”

“Pretty sure she’s a lesbian.”

“Oh.”

“I kinda had to dip when she started making out with that girl which lasted for like a long minute.”

“Ooh.”

“Yeah.”

“Oooh.”

“Mhm.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s good.”

“Have you ever had one?”

“Why?”

I scowled at him as I sagged into my chair and folded my arms. "Well, have you seen yourself?" I asked.

"I'm not really chasing it." He was moving a little stiffly, suddenly tense.

"Yes, whatever, boo, tomato," I said.

"Someone has been on my mind for a very long time, and still is." In the end, Minho said, "Just not ready to tell them."

"Oh." I forced myself not to get emotional as I imagined Minho to have feelings for someone who is completely unlike me. "Whatever, do you want to join me, Han, Chan, and Vanna for pizza?"

"Oh? I'll see if I can stop by, but I'm kind of busy all day." Minho smiled.

"Well, I missed us all together."

"I know, sorry, I've been busy a lot lately." The bell at the door rings, announcing that the customers have arrived. He let out a sigh and rose from his chair, eager to resume his job. "I have to go right now. I'll try to see and come by, okay?" Minho smiled at you one last time before returning to his job.

I nodded slowly and watched him as he began to take orders and put back his apron. I got up from my seat and exited the store, expecting to meet him later. 

I bet it still looks the same as when I ran away that day

Everyone was at the Marinara Magic eating pizza and sides and sitting and talking to one another. The realization that the two years I had been waiting for was finally here nearly took my breath away. Even though Chan was trying to talk them out of being too loud and scared that the staff could kick us out, Jisung was being playful as usual with Vanna and they were fighting over pizza toppings. But I was disappointed that Minho wasn't here yet. It appears that the kids are still not on good terms with him. For the last twenty minutes, all I could look at was the front entrance. While Jisung was still yapping and Chan was on his phone, Vanna appeared to notice but chose not to speak out.

Maybe, it’ll be too awkward if he comes.

The pizza place looked precisely the same as it did when I left. The red checkered tablecloth, slightly worn-out wooden seats, leon signs, and several framed pictures of former employees and musicians who had dinner here. The owner, who had been employed there since the 1990s and was now essentially a grandfather, ultimately left due to the death of his son. Unlike most soldiers, who return home to surprise their families, his son arrived in a box. He was "at fault" for electing to join the army of his own free will, but no one believed it was all lies and propaganda. The brutal reality of the American dream was that. You either achieve everything successfully or lose everything. 

Although it didn't taste as good as it used to, it was still better than the pizza I had in the city. Even yet, I feel like throwing up when I eat pizza. I fidgeted as I started to finish the drink in the red glass, wondering when Minho would arrive. Would he even show up at all? Does he even care?

Vanna moved to get closer to me and said in a whisper, "Are you waiting for Minho?"

"Yeah." I glanced at the boys to see if they heard us, but they were still too engaged to respond. "Do you think this would make them hate me?"

"No, they were hoping to speak with him, but that jerk decided not to. That's what I think." With a shrug, Vanna settled back into her chair and took her notebook out of her leather purse. 

“He confuses me sometimes.”

“Are you really confused or just frustrated?”

“I guess, both.” I sighed. 

“A friend,” She quoted, “shouldn’t make you that frustrated, let’s be real.”

“I guess.. I mean, I know he has some rough family issues, that’s all. I don’t know if there’s anything else.”

“You didn’t at least try to talk to him earlier?” 

“I did try!” I pouted, sinking down in my seat. “He’s just.. being complicated.”

“What did he say?”

“I dunno.. Like he was being overly nice and then it got awkward when you know, I asked about his girlfriend which I thought he does have, but he doesn’t and he still hasn’t told me what really happened–”

Vanna groaned, putting her hands on her head. “What the fuck are you talking about? You’re the one being complicated.”

“Okay, well–” Just as I was about to defend myself, I felt a bit offended.

"Vanna's not wrong here, kid." Chan said, still deeply absorbed in his phone.

"I am not a kid!" I yelled at him inaudibly. "He's just making things more complicated,"

"You TWO are being so complicated and annoying!" Jisung also yelled as he pointed jokingly at me with his finger.

"Holy shit-" Vanna places her fingers on her nose's bridge.

"What is happening here?" When someone else's voice was heard, the yelling stopped. There was no way I could pretend that seeing him didn't make me nearly puke again.

"Awkward…" Vanna rolled her eyes and sang.

"We ate the entire pizza!" With a wide smile, Jisung resumed his random hand gestures.

“Don’t worry, I’ll buy you a slice.” Chan took out his card and stood up.

“No, it’s good, I can just–”

“Shut up and let me buy you one, man.”

“I know, but-”

“Dude, c’mon, we haven’t talked in a while-”

“I’m the one that should make up-”

“No–”

Everyone else at the table chuckled at their interaction as I smacked my head against the table.

It doesn’t matter anyway

‘Cause I’m happy here

"That pizza was gooood, ay?" As he put his arm around Minho, Chan laughed. By now it had gotten late, so everyone left Marinara Magic together to walk home. The staff seemed to already like Chan enough to not throw us out, so I'm amazed they put up with us.  

"But not as good as it was before. I could make it better at home!" Minho replied as Vanna and I just kept strolling down the street in silence as the boys laughed and chatted about how much they used to miss his cooking. I couldn't help but feel uneasy tension when I was around Minho, even though it felt great to have him back in the group like we did in high school. At least, we were all back to normal again. Nothing bad will definitely happen!

I was taken aback by what I had just seen on the pavement and froze in place. An arm mutilated, with blood dripping from the tip. I turned back to give the kids a warning since they were all standing in a circle and talking nonstop, much as when family get together and chat for hours at a time. "There's an arm, guys!" I yelled out and ran to the tree to get a stick, then I walked back to where the arm was and attempted to poke it. The group approached it with caution and began to swear loudly as soon as they saw it.

"Why are you poking it?" Like everyone else, Jisung coughed in disgust and yelled silently.

"It's too much to look at." Vanna stopped staring at it and poked her tongue out.

"How did that end up there? Has there been a murder? That shit barely happens here since like that one incident in 1990," Minho inquired.

"Was that not in 1983?" Chan folded his arm and scowled at Minho.

"No fucker, that's the bite of '83 you're thinking of; it's definitely before 1990." As I was prodding the arm, I snorted, and Jisung burst out laughing and slapped his thigh.

"Sorry, the what?"

"Game reference." Minho stated while awkwardly scratching his head.

Chan said, "He's really back," shaking his head.

“Oh, shut it.”

"Are we going to do shit about this or not? This kid is messing with it." Vanna spoke out.

"Dude, get up." The lighting flashed on us as Chan attempted to grip my shoulder, and I realized who it was as I got up.

"What's going on over here?" My aunt was standing there in her uniform, staring at us expressionlessly.

"A arm!" I gave my aunt a smile and gestured to where it was. She bowed, glanced down, examined the arm, and reported what had transpired using her talkie-walkie.

"You kids need to go home. We will take care of it."

"But-"

"Go. Home." Aunt gave me a scowl. 

I kept glancing back, wondering what the whole "arm" thing was about, but Minho kept trying to pull me out of it and finally we walked home together. Since their routes to their homes differed from mine, half of the group bid goodbye and parted ways. Since Minho and I live in the same neighborhood, we strolled home in silence.

"Wow, that was crazy." He let out another quiet laugh to break the ice. 

"Yeah." Still feeling a little uneasy, I laughed too. When we arrived at my house, I was about to say goodbye, when Minho grabbed my wrist. I was shocked as I looked down and wondered what he was going to say.

"Hey, listen, uhm," The taller one went on, "If you want, we can hang out this weekend?"

I nodded despite standing there taking in what he had told me. 

"Alright, cool. So, see you then?" Minho smiled at me, and I smiled back. We kept looking at one other, and neither of us wanted to break eye contact. I finally hurried to my house and entered, blushing slightly. Is it a date? Nah, nah, you’re crazy. It’s totally not. 

I began to search around my living room for my dad, but figured that since it's becoming late, they might be asleep. I mentally noted that I will talk to him more before he leaves for work tomorrow morning when I woke up. After walking the flight of stairs to my room, I completed my night routine and was soon ready for bed. As I lay in bed tonight, I pondered how quickly today went from being just normal to not so normal. Since I had nothing planned for tomorrow, I thought I should stay home and perhaps look up old strange incidents that occurred in my town a long time ago on the internet. It's been a while since I last hunted a ghost. I should do it again. 

I should just go to sleep.

I sleep well alone now

NEXT JOURNAL ON SEPTEMBER 4

AUTHOR'S NOTE ➳ this one is kinda rushed but i hope u still enjoy it! make sure u read the warnings before u read each chapter bc i update it every chapter :p

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[octahyde]

twst trans headcanons for pride or something hi

It’s pride month so I figure I might as well post my transcanons!! If I did my sexuality headcanons we’d be here all day so I’m just doing the stuff I relate to The Most know what I’m sayin…

Please note that unless otherwise pointed out, I am totally cool with different headcanons!! These are just where I think the specific characters land, and just because most characters aren’t listed here doesn’t mean I think they’re cis per say, just that I don’t have any particular hcs about them gender wise

Anyways!!

Riddle Rosehearts- Trans Man, Gay, He/Him*

This is one of my biggest ones… I think having femininity shoved down his throat and existence made him unable to explore his real gender. Even when he got accepted into NRC, there was a shock because his mother had been prepping him for an elite girls’ school. She went through with him going so she could brag to others behind his back. (“Did you know? My daughter is going to NRC. She’s the only girl who has ever been accepted!”)

Part of why he’s so militant on rules is because it’s the only way he can function mentally- he is desperately afraid of what will happen when his mom realizes he’s trans, so he enforces them strictly to feel like he’s doing something right.

He was so malnourished his breasts never developed and his periods are spotty at best. This doesn’t ease his dysphoria but rather makes him feel more dysphoric; he feels his body is broken and can’t even do what it’s “supposed” to do right.

He doesn’t have a need to get top, but he does get phallo when his hormones are fixed. “Average size, nothing too grotesque, please.” Throughout all of this Trey is by his side, unwavering in support. Trey is the one person who has known him in every stage of his transition and the only one Riddle intimately confides to.

Eventually Riddle does pursue law; after several months-long IOP sessions for years he IS stable enough to be a lawyer righteously and justly. Meanwhile, Trey runs his family bakery in stead of his parents before him. The two adopt two sons, and eventually after years of being in therapy and having Riddle’s gynophobia eased, a baby daughter as well.

Through all this shit of being married with children to another man who is openly gay and having full testosterone and a literal phalloplasty, Riddle only sees himself as “A devoted ally of the LGBTQ community.” Nobody tell him.

*This is a hc I am VERY staunch on, and I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable with anything fem!Riddle related, be it genderbends or headcanons. That being said! Everyone has their own relationship with gender and I have nothing wrong with people having these hcs, and I even see where transfem Riddle is coming from. I just personally prefer to have it kept away from me.

Cater Diamond- Trans Man, Bi, He/Him

I’m not sure if this is a popular hc or not?? I thought it was but I’m just realizing it’s because every Cater is Transmasc Cater in my eyes so I could just be projecting onto cis stuff without realizing it DIS IF NSFJFN

Anyways Caycay is a trans guy and it’s a lot of why he has disdain for how his sisters treat him, even if they don’t realize it. Similar to Riddle having femininity forced on him, but in a different way and significantly less extreme.

In general, Caycay has a streak of hiding most if not all of his real self under his peppy attitude and social media addiction (his lab vignette, Wish Upon A Star), if not outright resentment (his Halloween vignette) for people who are legitimately as shallow he acts when they don’t have a care in the world (Borderline Personality Disorder).

I think that follows through in his dysphoria; he shows himself as a happy, carefree guy who is just happy to be a guy, but underneath that he does have resentment for his cisgender peers for having what he wants- especially without family knowing he’s a guy but treating them as their little tomboy sister with different pronouns anyways.

His chest dysphoria is particularly bad; he has D cups and every time he puts his binder on he wants to die. Not above self harming, either, but I don’t have any hcs firm on that kind of thing for him. Has likely skipped class on days where it’s particularly bad. Trey Clover, #1 Cis Ally, is also the only person he confides into as well, when his guard is down he’s vulnerable enough (which is to say, not often).

He gets top surgery basically the second his fourth year starts, he’s too much of a suicide risk without it. He can take or leave phallo, but is mostly just fine with what T does to his penis and doesn’t see a need to pursue it. He ends up marrying a bad bitch influencer on Magicam and is basically just a trophy husband when she starts getting actual gigs in advertising. They have a very happy r/childfree life also.

He moves to the Queendom of Roses to be closer to Trey as well. After NRC, he gets a lot more vulnerable and transparent about how badly he really is doing. Trey is the one who drives him to and helps his intake for when he needs inpatient (which is a lot), as well as his ride to and from IOP every day.

Trey Clover’s schedule is basically wake up, get started on the baking for the day, have breakfast with his family, pick up and drop off Caycay at IOP, open + morning shift, lunch break (picking Caycay up and getting McDonalds because that’s all this dumb bitch ever wants, then dropping him off at home), afternoon shift +closing, making dinner, and being intimate with Riddle during their allotted Love Making Time if he so chooses. This is his life and, somehow, it’s his dream life and the happiest he can even be. God bless Trey Clover.

Jamil Viper- Nonbinary (Genderfluid), He/She (alternating)

I don’t have much to elaborate on here, basically since I got into TWST I’ve just naturally alternated on he and she for her depending on how I feel that day LMAO. Her nonbinanry swag…

Nondysphoric and never medically transitions. She probably has more feminine clothing but for the most part doesn’t really feel a need to do anything to herself. She Likes Women In A Gay Way which is the best way I know how to describe it, even knowing other terminology (and also being uncomfortable with them from trauma). Marries a normal person after NRC and is also r/childfree, but is the worst influence on Najima’s children.

Epel Felmier

do i even need to fucking elaborate on this.

Vil Schoenheit- Transhet Woman, She/Her**

Content warning for mentions of an eating disorder, specifically anorexia.

Listen trust me I know a Beautiful Trans Woman when I see one.

She’s out when she’s at NRC and on light E, but that’s it at that point because of her career. She has Turbo Dysphoria, which is exacerbated by her relationships with Neige and Epel- the fact that Neige is so effortlessly soft and beautiful despite being a cis man, and Epel being afab and having such a frail and feminine form but wanting to be masc caused deep resentment for both. The trans envy and projection is a major force in how she treats Epel and why she is so hard on him and trying to mold him.

Eventually, her anorexia causes her to black out and collapse during a shoot. She’s rushed to inpatient for a few months so she can recover. There, she comes to terms with the fact that Neige isn’t her enemy and never was- especially when he regularly visits to make sure she’s ok. He’s genuinely worried about her after all the shows they’ve done together.

She also makes the decision to cut Rook from her life, as he was majorly encouraging a lot of unhealthy behavior- including the eating disorder that landed her there in the first place.

Along with this, she’s finally put on a higher dose of E in the hospital, because it’s a very big contributor to why she got as bad as she did. When she’s stable for a few months after being discharged, she gets breast augmentation for D cups and a vaginoplasty as soon as she can.

Also she actively pursues getting closer to Neige out of thanks for him and they get married and have children and the euphoria Vil feels getting pregnant is crazy. The end

**I am VERY aware this is a controversial headcanon, and one many feel goes against Vil’s entire character. I am not denying Vil is canonically a gnc man, nor am I going after people for not viewing her this way. This headcanon is very personal to me as a gnc trans man and other trans people I know. All I ask for is respect and that you block me if this headcanon bothers you instead of trying to argue with me.

Idia Shroud- Transhet Woman, She/Her

Content warning for actual discussions of self harm (specifically cutting), along with amputation.

My most surprising and shocking transcanon out of all of these

Idia is literally like… what if you took a bunch of white trans women in STEM and put them all in a room together and tasked them with making the most stereotypical boymoder they possibly could. Coding? Check. Loves SHMUPs? Check. Posts about hyperspecific weird obscure interests on the internet? Check. Dresses really nice in MMORPGs despite not putting effort in irl? Check check check. It’s legitimately stunning to me that this isn’t a more popular headcanon. She probably has thigh highs on under her pants at all times.

I unsurprisingly have a LOT of thoughts about this; I’m hardcore yume so I will likely leave that out because it’s personal but tbqh I have enough thoughts to write a book without that.

During the incident that killed Ortho, Idia was out for 3ish days afterward. When she woke up, not only was Ortho gone, but her legs were, too- the phantom took them in the attack, and she had to have them amputated. She ended up as a double below the knee amputee. This incident all gave her EXTREME CTPSD. (Which like, it’s canon it gave her CPTSD and informs every single action she makes and the entire fandom is ableist as hell for infantilizing her autism uwu and ignoring the CPTSD completely, but that’s another post for another time.) It also lead to severe schizophrenia and BPD. She eventually developed prosthetics in the style of Ortho’s legs she wears in her personal life, but at NRC she wears near indistinguishable realistic ones out of fear of sticking out even more. The trauma from everything and lack of proper help eventually lead to cutting herself regularly; specifically at her shoulders.

She realized she was attracted to men around 14-15 through BL. (I will never stop saying DMMD Changed Her Life and she is still in love with Clear to this day. People don’t compare her to Yaoi Jesus for nothing.) It was around her second year when her egg cracked (this time it was Touhou) and she realized she wasn’t a little gayboy.

By her third year she was boymoding; to feel more comfortable she started wearing sports bras and panties underneath her uniform to feel at least a little more like a girl. She was much more openly A Girl online in MMOs and Discord servers based around breaking Mario 64 down to its metaphorical molecular level.

In her fourth year she Finally gets on meds, and the side effect of Risperdal for her Turbo Psychosis gives her gynecomastia. After she’s graduated she goes on E, which, uh. Combined with the Risperdal ends up being very kind to her.

She only ever goes on E, she’s got breast development covered and her genitals don’t particularly bother her. Over time she gets mild shrinkage and gets less erect, which is all she really needs to feel herself. In general, she’s more focused on if she feels like a girl in her body as opposed to if she passes.

I know I said it but she is SUCH a Thigh Highs tgirl. She has ones that accommodate her legs and she basically can’t live without a pair on, they’re SUPER comfy for her. She also dresses like a Hot Topic egirl LMAO… short black skirts, big comfy t shirts and sweaters, some comfy dresses along with really nice ones when she does go out. I have like an entire image board I made of her the other night.

Also I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: regardless of what gender you view Idia as, she wears cat eye glasses. Nobody has good vision looking close to the screen in the dark as she does, and the second she heard “cat” she didn’t bother looking at any other options.

I don’t want to talk about yume stuff because it’s REALLY embarrassing but smfns my sona is a girlmoding (outside of NRC) trans man and as they get closer and start dating over the years they transition together… it’s a very close and intimate thing for both of them. They also have 3 cats (a white one named Clear, a gray one named Ryoji, and my queen and god.) And Ortho and CR-BS01 and 02 live with them also… a happy family.

I think they eventually have kids after Idia’s nerves are calmed about the curse (she gets pregnant because I’m sure as HELL not making a self insert not have phallo let alone have a uterus. This is a universe where a guy can turn people into sand I’m sure fertility treatments for people without vaginas exist), and none of the kids end up inheriting it because her and her parents have successfully handled the phantoms :)

Epel Felmier For Real This Time- Trans Man, Gay, He/Him***

My masc king… I feel like I don’t really have to discuss his transness; he’s overwhelmingly the most popular transcanon for a reason LMAO But just for the sake of it: his docile feminine frame and being compared to femininity bothers him significantly, and he much more desires to be seen as masculine and tough. It really isn’t that hard to see him as a trans guy (speaking as a trans guy who relates to him myself).

His chest is a modest B-C cup, but that still gives him dysphoria and stresses him out when he wears binders. He has much, MUCH more severe bottom dysphoria, though. (matchies with his housewarden OMG) Unlike Riddle, though, Epel goes All In when he gets his phallo size.

He also visits Queendom of Roses with Deuce more often and regularly after Rabbitfes so Dylla can sneak him some T. MILF of the world. Please god just one cha

(His family supports him. It’s just he’s so out in the middle of nowhere T is hard to get. That’s what his MILF in law is for.)

Him and Deuce settle on his farm with Deuce as a mechanic, both for vehicles in Harveston and also the surrounding area past it. (He may or may not get well known and a lot of clients from blastcycle customs too)

They adopt a boy and it’s literally just their Gay Masc Life on the Family Farm. No girls allowed.

***Unsurprisingly, I also do not like any works featuring fem!Epel; my stances on it are the same as my ones on Riddle.

NOT FEATURED IN THIS POST: Ruggie is simultaneously a gay twink and a butch lesbian at the same time. His gender is an enigma even to me.

[quadrantadvisor]

Was desperate enough to use the search function to find posts about The Host by Stephenie Meyer and I just wanted to say, I love your takes and I agree with everything.

The love square never made sense. Jared and Melanie were impossible to root for because the sole basis of their love was that Melanie felt safe with him and Melanie was the last woman on Earth to Jared, and then neither of those things turn out to be true so all they have is intense sexual chemistry. And especially in contrast to Ian and Wanda, how and why am I supposed to care about them? And there is no reason for Wanda to love Jared. I get her falling in love with him through Melanie’s memory of him, but the reality ought to have shattered that illusion for both of them IMO. Especially for Melanie, because he’d rather scream at and hit her body rather than even entertain the hope she might be in there. Sure, he protects it from other humans, but then he abuses it, so that’s not in fact protection; it’s possession.

The gender bioessentialism never made sense. Sure, Wanda’s in a female body and can make the choice to reproduce, which is super cool. But given that her sense of gender hinges on that ability to reproduce and given that that ability is super rare, why would other Souls gender themselves? I think being agender or someone who just didn’t give a damn about pedantic human gender roles would have been super interesting for Wanda’s character and I think it would have added more dimension to her and Ian’s relationship. He barely had to struggle with the fact that the body she was in belonged to an attractive cisgender girl and he was a cishet man, in spite of Meyer’s weak attempts to call that into question. The gender question might have thrown him for more of a loop.

Contrast that to Jared’s very comphet interpretation of his relationship with Melanie, and ooh baby, we’ve got a stew!

Also would have liked more exploration on ethics in general. Why do the Souls care about the well-being of the organisms on the Fire Eater planet but not on Earth? Instead of stopping from eating them, do they steal their bodies too? And the humans killing other humans in an attempt to save them: Is it okay to murder them if they’re the ones doing the murdering, like before?

Sorry for the long ask. I just have a lot of thoughts. Please feel free to block and ignore if this is too weird. Genuinely no intention to bother or offend and I’m sorry if I have.

Oh man I'm always ready to rant about The Host with people!

Yeah I feel like Meyer thought she was saying something really deep about human nature and the way that our instincts drive us? And there is something there, like, your body having a reaction to another person and that affecting your behavior is interesting! In my opinion she just went WAY too far with it, and it makes the characters seem unrealistic and childish. The ways that both Melanie and Wanderer act around Jared are bizarre (this may partially be my ace spectrum talking but like, c'mon.) Jared just kinda sucks, also. The whole idea that there's this inherent magnetism between MEN and WOMEN and that that physical attraction is the most important thing in the world is so heteronormative and amatonormative and uncomfortable

And the book was SO CLOSE to having an interesting take on gender! Examing the genders and/or lack thereof of a body-snatching alien species could be so fun! There's even the mention of the alien species with three genders, and talking about their family structures. You would think that something like that would indicate a more expansive view on gender, but really it's just an extrapolation of more bioessentialism. Because that species has those biological sexes, their families MUST be steucturedin this way, because that's what's natural for them. There's no room for variability or different sorts of feelings. She completely equates gender with biology, even when that biology is being coopted by a hitchhiker.

You're so right about Ian and Wanderer, I would love more examinations of how different she is from humans, including in a gender sense, and them having to deal with that as a part of their relationship. Setting up Jared as someone very entrenched in social norms and Ian as a foil to him in that way sounds really interesting!

Soul society and ethics are SO fascinating. I do sincerely think that Meyer is an compelling fantasy and sci fi world builder, if nothing else.

It's late and I feel like I'm a little incoherent but I love getting to chat about this book, it's so infuriating but so fun, now I want to read it again.

[rdng1230]

I know that when you suddenly come out as gender fluid in your twenties with zero warning it’s gonna take everyone in your life a minute to adjust. I know that that’s a reasonable thing. I came out to my mom a few days ago and my stepdad just a few hours ago. And they both said they love me no matter what which is exactly what you’re supposed to say. But I know they’re a little weirded out and I wish I could just skip to the part where everyone’s adjusted to it. And I know that’s especially hard because my pronouns change literally all the time so it’s not even like ok out with the old in with the new and they can practice it all the time. I first came out as a lesbian when I was really young and they were totally cool with it, but this time it feels really different. I wish I knew another gender fluid person in real life that I could talk to. I wish my parents knew these people too. Part of me wants to run back in the closet, part of me wishes I had never realized this about myself because I’m questioning my gender and second guessing it all the time in a way that feels restricting? But then I get these moments of euphoria when I put on an outfit or when my partner uses he/him pronouns/terms of endearment and I know that this feels right. But I also find myself experiencing this grief for the childhood me that never got that validation of gender. I know I’m incredibly privileged as a trans person. I don’t experience any body related gender dysphoria, I’m basically cis most of the time, I don’t have to do any of the admin stuff like getting my name changed or my sex changed on my licenses (thanks mom for the gender neutral name!) but I also feel a sense of loneliness and like I have to educate everyone around me because I feel like this particular part of the transgender umbrella is so sparsely populated with almost zero visibility outside LGBTQ+ spaces. I am trying not to be afraid and I am trying to think of the gender fluid kid that comes after me that gets to be just a little less scared, but fuck.

[cutwhipburn]

Mistake (Chapter One)

WARNINGS: Mental Fuckery, Dehumanization, WRU/Box-Boy Universe Themes, Medical Torture, Mental Torture, Human Expirementation, Dissociation, Alluding to Food Withholding, Fake News and the Spread of False Information, Illiteracy/Illiterate Whumpee

Mistake’s legs burned. It felt like millions of fire ants were biting into their legs-no, like a million fire ants were burrowing into their legs, biting and crawling through their skin and deep into their muscles. Into their bones, even. The latest of their mother’s inventions was proving to be a success, unfortunately for Mistake. 

It was a shot, one that Shannon planned to have used on boxies who failed escape attempts. Mistake could confirm that it would undoubtedly be very effective. Just two needles, one in each leg, and that boxie would likely never want to run again. Mistake didn’t think it would even be able to stand for at least a few hours afterwards, let alone walking or god forbid running.

Mistake winced, crying out in pain as her mother prodded them, writing notes in her inventions notebook. They wished it’s mother would let them be finished for the day, preferably sending them to their father so they could curl up in a ball and let him hug it until the pain passed. But they knew that was wishful thinking. They had been in pain for so long they’d cried out all the tears they had, had screamed themself near hoarse. 

Shannon would keep them through to the very end of the pain, and probably still have critiques on their reactions after. But Mistake didn’t know what else to do. They were hurting so much.

Time dragged on like molasses, until eventually the throbbing pain died down enough for them to stop silently crying, and they were able to curl up into a ball on the floor.

“Can I see papa now?” Mistake mumbled into their legs, their body shaking in exhausted pain. Their legs still occasionally jolted with aftershocks.

“If you can get up and walk there on your own.” Shannon allowed with a nod, turning to her assistant. “Lets get this to the lab. I need to test the effects on a few of the boxies, see if it differs based on age, weight, and gender. Pick out some troublemakers for me.” The assistant nodded, turning quickly on their heel and speeding from the room.

Mistake started to slowly drag their body across the floor, it’s body aching too much to even try standing. They supposed they would maybe feel embarrassed, if they weren’t so used to the humiliating feeling of needing to get out of the lab, now.

They found its father Norman, predictably as ever, standing in Shannon’s enormous kitchen, spaced out and distant. Mistake felt cold sweat down their back, leaning against the cool cabinet and tiles.

“Papa, I’m here,” Mistake said, childishly quiet. “Mama let me be done now.” They tuck their head behind their curls. “I'm tired.”

“Missy?” Norman snapped out of his daze, hurriedly bending down to lift them off the floor. “You’re shaking.”

“Mama tested a new shot,” Mistake mumbled, curling into their father’s chest. “Supposed to punish bad runaways.” They were careful with their words, softly methodical and clear. “Made my legs hurt for a while.”

He carried them into the living room, laying them down on the couch. “Want to watch cartoons, love? Do you want something to eat? I-I can make something as soon as I ask your mother if you’re allowed.”

“Not hungry,” Mistake said quietly, curling up in a ball and shaking their head. “Just wanted to be with you.” They latched onto him again like a small koala bear. “I feel better when I’m with you.”

Norman looked like he was about to be sick. “Oh-Okay, but I have to sit on the floor, remember. I’ll just sit by you, okay?”

Norman wasn’t allowed on the couch. 

Mistake whined softly, sliding themself onto the floor next to him and nestling into his side. “Wanna be with you,” they mumbled stubbornly. The carpet was plush at least. Mistake was used to sitting on it with their father, though even the plushest carpet starts to hurt when you’re ordered to kneel on it in complete stillness for half a day.

“Missy, please, the couch.” Norman begged, but his voice wavered, already used to loosing any argument he dared have. “I’m sure it feels a lot more comfortable, and you’re in pain.”

“I want you, not couch,” it insisted quietly.

Norman was silent for a moment. “Cartoons?” He asked again, his voice dulled. The only cartoons Shannon allowed them to watch were the ones with a silly little box-boy constantly getting into trouble, usually with the reminder at the end that staying indoors and with your owner was the only safe places to be. Or there would be the episodes where the box-boy’s owner would randomly shout out a command for the boxies watching, just to make sure that even when relaxing a boxie should be ready to obey their owner and listen to their authority.

“No thank you,” Mistake mumbled. “Too tired. Just wanna rest.” Norman wrapped his arms around them, gently playing with their hair. Mistake drifted asleep in his comforting arms, only awaking to the sound of Shannon’s return. It was not quiet or pleasant, but it rarely ever was.

“Norman, get dinner started!” Shannon called from the front door as she took off her coat. “We have company coming. Get Mistake upstairs and into a nice outfit when you’re done.” Mistake rubbed its’ eyes as Norman gently removed them from his lap, placing them back on the couch and hurriedly going to do as he was ordered.

Mistake could feel the pain subsiding more from their legs, lightly dangling them over the edge of the couch. It wasn’t so painless they could walk yet, pressure still sent an electric pain running up its’ legs, but they could tell it almost was the case. They fidgeted with its  hands, waiting patiently for their father to return and hoping their mother left it be for now.

Shannon, thankfully, didn’t even seem to notice them as she breezed past the living room, going upstairs to change herself, most likely. It was after a long time of silence before their father joined Mistake again, carefully lifting it back up and going upstairs to the attic.

Mistake had exactly two nice dresses. A black one and a dark blue one. Still, Norman rifled through the two in its’ small closet, pulling them out and holding them up as if it was a big decision. “Which one do you want tonight Missy?”

“Black, please,” Maddie said, reaching out to grab the dress themself. In truth, they rather wished they had more colors of clothes, and maybe even some nice outfit to wear that wasn’t a dress. But they couldn’t be ungrateful. These dresses were nice, a great privilege. “Thank you papa.”

“Remember not to talk at dinner unless anyone sitting at the table speaks directly to you. Ask if you want to speak otherwise. Eat what’s on your plate but don’t ask for seconds if you want them. If you do, find me afterwards and I can get them to you when no one's paying attention.” Norman prattled off, all the rules long memorized. Mistake nodded their head carefully to each one as they slipped the dress over their head, wriggling out of their dirty lab clothes. Norman gently finished it off with a bow in their hair, slightly shabby but not too noticeable,

“I understand, papa,” Mistake said softly and clearly. “I’ll do what you said, promise. I’ll be good.”

“And if Shannon tells you to go to bed, you have to come right up, brush your teeth and change, and go to sleep.” This one Norman seemed nervous, almost on edge about. He always did. He said it was the most important rule Mistake had to worry about. “I mean it Missy, right to sleep. No book. No window.”

Mistake pouted softly. They rather liked their book, staring at the pictures and the stories they’d made up to go along with them. Ignoring the black squiggles on the page that it would never be able to read. That they’d never be allowed to learn. They liked the window just as much. It was nice, a way to imagine a world where Mistake wasn’t a mistake, but a normal child with a normal life and two whole parents who loved them very much. But they knew how important this was to their father, so they still nodded.

“Okay, papa.” They folded its’ hands on their lap. “I will.”

“When whoever she’s expecting gets here, remember to say hello ma’am or sir and then-” Norman mimed zipping his lips. “I have to get the food out of the oven. Can you please set the table? Remember to ask your mother how many plates you need to set out.”

Mistake pushed off the bed, standing on unsteady, wobbling legs and nodded its  head. “Yes papa,” They brushed off the dust from their dress, walking unsteadily down the stairs and hesitantly hovering outside their mother’s office. “Mother? How many plates should I set out on the table?”

“Three on the table set out nicely, four in the center.” Shannon said, not even looking up to acknowledge Mistake’s presence. Mistake tried not to wilt at the lack of attention, nodding their head.

“Alright, mother. Thank you.” Mistake ducked their head and hurried down to the kitchen to grab the appropriate table settings.

They set the table with a clean precision their father had taught them well, not a thing angled or out of place, before sitting down.

On the floor.

The dining room floor was wood. It hurt their knees more, but Mistake had a little pillow to sit on while they ate. That helped a little bit, even if it was only for a little while.

Their father didn’t take long in the kitchen, carefully bringing out the food so none would drop on the floor, and arranging it nicely on the table. Mistake watched him closely, taking care to mind his actions. They were to learn from their father as much as possible, their mother had insisted.

They noticed him pause briefly, eyes moving over the table. He was counting the plates. His face fell at the number, uncomfortable and tense.

“What’s wrong, papa?” Mistake asked softly, careful not to speak too loudly and have their mother overhear.

“It’s just…I think it’s Evelyn coming over.” Norman admitted. “If there’s three plates out on the table and four that will go to the floor.”

Mistake felt themself cringe inward. They didn’t like Evelyn much. Her daughter, yes. Her daughter seemed kind, and curious, and interesting and Mistake  longed to speak with her as though they were equals. But Evelyn, Mistake hated.

Anytime Evelyn came over, Mistake got into extra trouble and was punished. And besides, Cyrus frightened them. He was rather big, rather scary, and not quite nice. Papa said that was his job, since he was a designated Guarddog boxie. He was the only one Mistake had ever met.

The doorbell rang, echoing throughout the house. Norman hurriedly helped Mistake to their feet, muttering his own rules under his breath as the two walked towards the door.

The idea behind a Box-Boy cartoon was inspired by: @ashintheairlikesnow Post here:

[cantevenbeachhere]

Okay okay, so. Dragon-Ken, right? Would it be drag-ken or is that too much emphasis on drag? (Maybe it could be a double pun....food for thought). Obviously you'd have a full dragon form, but they are shapeshifters and we need to see the face we know as you, so there'd be a human or semi-human form. I'm thinking like gargoyle vibes, like human-ish body but talons and tail and wings and horns. And like a dusting of scales on the cheeks. My brain says...gold and pink but idk if that is too feminine? I doubt dragons much care for gender roles (oh...there's.the 'drag' part lol)

Trying to figure out the hoard. Live horses? Toy horses? Dolls in general? Faux mink coats? Still thinking that part out.

~gender-kenvy

OH DUDE HI! Hi you’re here! Talking about dragon stuff! That’s so cool, I actually had a dream last night about dragons, sooooo weird but so cool!

Okay so there’s this movie I watched some time ago like right after the whole Kendom thing and Barbie leaving to help like distract myself from all that stuff because I didn’t really wanna fully deal yet, and the movie involved a dragon, which was like super cool, but I’m actually gonna talk about another character because you got me thinking about horses and hordes.

So like what if my human/semi-human form was like a caretaker for horses. Like my own horses because they learned to trust me and I take good care of them and protect them. Despite how I looked if I don’t have a human form but just like that gargoyle-y form. Kinda like that one dude from that second Hobbit movie who could turn into a bear.

By the way do Hobbits exist in the Real World? I think it would be fun to be friends with them.

Anyway, and maybe my dragon form’s horde would be…well, every time I see like horse merchandise I wanna buy it so bad no matter what it is so maybe anything horse related like how I had a lot of that stuff around the Kendom. I mean, I still kinda do have that stuff but it’s more…contained. Just in my room of the Kens’ Mojo Dojo Casa House. *gasp!* Oh my gosh like a HORDE!

As far as the colors go, what if my eyes were gold? That sounds so cool. And I REALLY like the idea of light blue with pink stripes. But not like racing stripes but something sorta like tiger stripes but not. Just like the vibe of tiger stripes, ya know. That just looks more…natural and animal-y. 

And honestly? I kinda think drag-Ken is funny, but the G to K kinda throws me off when reading it out loud. So I went to one of the libraries around Barbie Land, and I learned that one of the ways to say dragon in a different Real World language and probably a Barbie Land language somewhere out there is drakon. 

And then I was like *snaps fingers* dude. Bingo. DraKen. That flows better for me personally, but you’re the one with the WIPs and the ideas so if you want it to be DragKen that’s up to you.

By the way, what are WIPs? I don’t think you mean like whipped cream because you never mentioned cream with the WIPs so I don’t know what those are. Maybe like dole whips? That’s a thing. Still different spelling though.

Anyway, what were we talking abo— oh yeah! Okay so I can I be a flying dragon? And will my wings be on my back or like connected to my arms? I really want wings. I don’t wanna be a wingless dragon; I don’t really know how those count. Except that one tiny, red dragon in that one Disney movie. He counts; I’ll accept that.

Oh dude I kinda went overboard, but I got so excited *chuckles* but hopefully this helps get your creative juices going more! @gender-kenvy

[kaigarax]

Lie

Or This is How to Under Stand

Rhya x Reader

Quote: "Fall in love with by understanding another."

It is of the utmost importance, regardless of someone’s age, gender or race, to be excellent in at least one thing. One must not merely excel at this single task but be fundamentally better than anyone else within similar circumstances attempting to accomplish that very same task and in a location relative to yours.

Of course, this entire theory can be ultimately tossed out and entirely forsaken if one does not wish to become important (in any way whatsoever) and hopes to maintain an ordinary life. It should be noted that by choosing to ignore this most radical and sensible piece of advice you are outright denying oneself of all human pleasures that fall into either category of dreams or desires.

This piece is, of course, only one of seven different instructionals to help guide you into a world of excellence. One should hope to not just entertain themselves with these pieces of work but look to apply them into their everyday life. Once again, it should be noted that all pieces should be read and thought on for a maximum absorption of the materials.

Now, without further ado, this is how to under stand.

---

“What’re you doing, (L/n)?” Rhya asks, taking a seat beside you and wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

The bar is loud and the chairs are kinda sticky but Rhya chooses to stay seated.

He always does.

At least when you’re there.

You don’t seem surprised by his sudden appearance, instead answering his question with one of your own, a grin on your face, “what do you think I’m doing?”

Rhya pouts, “I asked you first.”

“I suppose you did. Yeah.”

“So…”

You smile teasingly, “so?”

Rhya leans his head on your shoulder, “I just wanted to know how my favourite person was doing.”

“Yeah,” you say, “me too.”

But there’s a subtle shift in the beating of your heart that tells him otherwise. An ever so slight shift in your breathing and a brief moment of you stiffening beneath his hold. The situation is almost amusing for Rhya.

The relationship between you and Rhya has always been a strange one. Once strangers on different sides of a war. Now… companions? Friends? Acquaintances? Rhya isn’t all too sure. What he is sure of, on the other hand, is that he likes being around you. Feels as though you understand him better than others. Even better than some Elves.

It has something to do with your power. It must.

Rhya’s almost like a walking and breathing lie detector. He just can’t help but notice all the different symptoms of the human (or elf) body that give way to lies. Sometimes it even feels magical. Part of his abilities though there's nothing in his grimoire that would say otherwise.

You’re like him. You aren’t a walking lie detector but you might as well be. The expanse of your abilities is much more… vast. Creates an almost involuntary connection between yourself and the others.

“I’m surprised.” You suddenly proclaim, pushing Rhya off your shoulder and ordering another drink from the bartender.

“And what has surprised you, (L/n)?” Rhya asked, your surname slowly rolling off his lips.

“You,” you began.

“Me?”

“You, coming to a place like this.”

“Oh?” Rhya leans in towards you as you push a shot over for him to take, “and why wouldn’t I ‘come to a place like this’?”

“Because this,” you hold up your own shot glass, “is a place where people go to lie.”

“Now that,” Rhya cheers his cup against yours, “is something I can cheer to.”

The liquid, despite being cool, burns as it runs down his throat. Sits hotly in his stomach and leaves him feeling uneasy for a moment or two longer than he thought it would’ve. Rhya isn’t against indulging in mortal sin but doesn't actually do so unless the situation actually calls for it. Unless a pretty girl like you is the one offering him the drink in the first place.

“Another?” You ask.

Already?

Rhya nods along anyways.

The bartender leans in close to you and flashes a flirtatious smile, “what’re you hoping for sweetheart?”

The hot liquid seems to rumble in Rhya’s stomach as you lean forward, “the usual, Cliff.”

“Just for you?” His eyes flicker over to Rhya, “or one for your friend as well?”

“One for my friend too.”

The bartender nods and makes quick work to get the drinks prepared. He flitters across the bar and makes conversation with the other people seated around the bar.

Rhya's mouth feels sour. Probably just the aftertaste of the first shot. But that doesn't explain the strange pang in his chest or the anger rising up in his stomach. Or maybe it does? Rhya can’t be too sure. It’s definitely not his first time drinking but he’s never had a reaction like this before. Maybe it has something to do with the specific drink you gave him.

Maybe not.

“Friend?” Rhya asked, surprised with his own choice of words.

You smile knowingly, “yeah. He’s my friend. I like him.”

Rhya frowns, his eyes narrowing in on the man.

There doesn't seem to be anything all too special about the bartender. He’s not that attractive. Average at best. Really everything, from his aura to general vibe screams utterly ordinary. Not that there’s anything wrong with him, bring ordinary, it’s just that Rhya had always imagined you with someone more… spontaneous? Adventurous? Courageous.

Yeah. Courageous.

He always imagined you with someone courageous. Not a bartender for a bar in the middle of God knows where. You, afterall, deserve nothing less than the best.

You laugh, leaning in towards Rhya, “but I like you more~”

And that puts a smile on his face.

---

There had been plenty of women Rhya had canoodled with. Many he’d had the chance to court and take to bed but they all seem to suddenly become background noise compared to you. Actually, it feels as though almost everything in Rhya’s life has become background noise when you’re around.

There’s a promise in the back of his mind.

Something he needs to do.

But those words are quiet. Basically ignored as you lean closer towards him, your body warm pressed tightly against his own.

“That’s a lie.”

You stiffen beneath Rhya’s arms, your movements suddenly stopped. Rhya’s own heart seems to have stopped as well - almost as if waiting for the realization of his own words to finally kick in. For the weight of everything to suddenly strike him. It takes a moment - but only just a moment. Of course, that brief moment of hesitation doesn't show on his face as he lets out a low chuckle and pulls you closer towards himself.

He’s always, always, known when someone was lying. No matter how well they trained their bodies to stay calm, conditioned their minds to stay strong or told their hearts to be steady he always knew. Something about the shift in the magic, Rhya thinks, - as if their very essence has been moved.

Huh.

Rhya wonders if your own abilities are like his own.

Earlier that night he had speculated on them. Wondered about the specifics of how they might work. He’s never taken the chance to ask you though. Never wanted to show you another vulnerable side of himself. Isn’t certain if you’d want to show that side of yourself either so he never asks. Not when he’s too scared to know. And regardless of how you answer that question he’ll know.

He’ll know just as he knows that you’re lying right now.

Now, Rhya doesn’t exactly hate his abilities but it’s times like this where they seem more like a curse than they do a blessing. Actually, it’s a little impudent to call them a blessing at all. It’s almost a physical manifestation of the sins committed against them back before everything had happened as it was. A reminder to never let himself get too close.

But you’re different. You always have been. All Rhya has to do now is decide if that’s a good thing or not. You seem to be caught in the same internal debate. Perhaps, for once, stuck more in your feelings than his own.

Your abilities might be a little like his. A reminder of your bloodline. A burden you’ve been forced to carry for longer than you’ll ever know. He imagines you’ve had a rough life with abilities like yours. Like him, it’s not something you can just suddenly turn off, and it makes it harder for you to truly connect with other people. Abilities meant to torment the two of you in moments just like this.

“I-” you tail off.

“But that’s okay,” Rhya mumbles against your neck, his lips lingering on your soft skin as though he can’t bear to be without its touch, “your lies are different.” And they are. He just can’t decide if that’s a good or bad thing.

Perhaps you know.

---

“What’re you thinking about, Rhya?” You ask, talking a breadths width away, the back of your hand brushing against his own.

Rhya smiles, “you can’t tell?”

You roll your eyes, “you know I can only feel another person’s feelings. Not their thoughts.”

“Oh, can you now?” Rhya smirks, “now isn’t that a shame.”

“Fine,” you huff, “be like that.” You break away from the path the two of you seemed to be walking and break off into the field of flowers. The flowers are bright and colourful, reminding Rhya of a time when everything was simpler. Make him feel as though you’re simply a girl and he’s simply a boy.

That there isn’t this seemingly insurmountable distance that’ll always be there between the two of you. That it isn’t written in the stars for you to be apart.

Your words ring loud and true in his ears.

Send a pang to his heart.

He makes his way towards you, pushing through the grassy fields. Rhya’s never been a big fan of grass. Not that he’s disliked it but it’s not exactly his favourite thing in the world. It’s nice against his back when he takes a nap but that’s about it. There’s nothing… special about it. Nothing that makes it stand out against everything else in this world.

“What ya got there?” Rhya asks.

You’re hunched over something as Rhya takes a seat beside you. He flashes you a lazy smile.

You smile, holding up a flower for Rhya to see.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Rhya says. Perhaps today will be the day he finally confesses his feelings for you.

Rhya practically stumbles out of his dream, waking up in the room the two of you ended up renting the night before. The bed creaks beneath him as he sits up, the blanket falling off his chest and pooling around his waist.

He looks over to the other side of the bed, surprised to see you there fiddling around with a bundle of strings.

The windows open slightly, allowing for a beam of light to hit you directly and allow you to see what you’re doing. He smiles. He never took you to be the considerate type.

“I love you.” Rhya says, the words slipping from his mouth. It seems as though speaking before thinking is becoming a bad habit for him. At least when he’s around you it is, but he doesn't mind it all too much.

You, on the other hand, don’t seem to be of the same opinion.

You don’t bother turning around but you do, for the briefest of moments, sit stunned. Halted momentarily before replying coolly, “I thought you said you were going to forget me as quickly as you could?”

“I am.”

“Then how are you going to easily forget me if you love me?” You ask, your voice laced in amusement as you weave the threads of string together.

Huh.

He hadn’t really thought that through. Though he’s always had a tendency to do and say things without thinking about everything properly.

Oh well.

He’d much rather do things one day at a time then spend his days wondering about ‘could haves’ and ‘should haves’. Besides, you were here right now so why should he have to worry about you being gone?

“Rhya.”

Rhya pushes himself away from the edge of the bed and leans over to you. It’s barely an inch that he’s moved but he feels as though he’s suddenly traversed hundreds of miles. The movement in the bed causes the sheets to russell. When you turn to look at him he snatches the bundle of strings from your hand with a smirk.

Surprisingly, you don’t immediately move to attack him. In fact, you don’t move at all. Instead sitting frozen to the spot. He wonders if it’s because of his physical presence or emotional one.

You look so pretty like this. With your hair a mess from sleep and your eyes curious as they await for his next movement. Rhya thinks that you looked a little something like this when the two of you first met. He’d been attacking in the middle of the night and you, being the great Magic Knight you are, jumped out of bed to meet him in the midst of battle. If only he’d know just how important you’d end up becoming in his life.

He forgets just how pretty you are sometimes. He obviously always knows that you’re pretty but it’s moments like this that help remind him of your beauty. Simple moments. Moments like this.

He, more than anything, wonders what kind of life you must’ve led up until now with powers like yours. If you used it to your advantage (like he did) when working with and against others. If it did nothing but make you want to push others away. If it makes your stomach turn and your hands temple.

If it’s changed the way you feel about others.

If it’s changed the way you feel about him.

You know, perhaps even better than him, exactly how he feels. Exactly what he’s feeling right now. You don’t need to hear the loud pounding of his heart or feel the warmth of his cheeks like everyone else to know exactly how you make him feel. You don’t need to turn around and look at him like he wants you to.

“(Y/n).” He says, your name feeling almost soft as it leaves his lips.

Your response is slow. A simple “yes?”

And his eyes soften.

Fall in love by understanding another.

[fahbev]

More shit for my dpxdc merfolk au!

No I’m not censoring boobs. I have Opinions TM on this matter, don’t get me started. Basically: If mermen don’t get their nipples censored by unnecessary clothing, neither do mermaids.

I’m trying to have some diversity with body types in these designs, for no reason other than wanting some variety.

For Cass [Sting Ray] I can’t really decide on a body type I like for her. I’ve drawn her before with the “conventionally attractive girl body type” (bc that was my reference pic and I turned it into Cass lol) and I liked it bc she’s fine like that. But I also love her being more bulky/muscular like she is in WFA. But for this design, I am spreading my Chubby Cass Propaganda TM. Okay, she’s not that chubby, but I like the idea of her moving past her whole living-weapon thing and gaining some weight bc she’s not training 24/7 anymore. Obviously she’s still very physically fit ofc; she’s the best fighter in the world.

Steph I kept exactly how she is in canon bc she’s already perfect just the way she is. Though I am considering making her a bit more muscular.

Dick’s also pretty similar to canon, but I made him a bit slimmer. I always imagined him as more of a lean muscle kind of guy but dc loves giving all of it’s characters of the same gender the same exact body type.

Duke I made more square. He’s based on an eel so the rectangle body just made sense to me.

Jason’s just huge and Damian’s just small.

Next up is Babs. Then comes Bruce and Tim. Danny’s last bc I haven’t figured out what fish he’s gonna be yet lol. The rest of the fentons are human so I don’t really need to redesign them so much besides maybe different clothes.

FURTHER RAMBLING UNDER THE CUT bc i put a lot of thought into these

Steph is a betta fish. Ik that doesn’t make much sense bc they’re tropical (i think?) and domestic and like super aggressive and only the male ones have those pretty fins— but suspend your disbelief! She a mermaid. I’m using some real science but some of it’s just me playing with fish like dolls. ANYWAY! The reason she got fired in this au was bc her long, beautiful fins were way too fragile and Bruce stopped it bc she got hurt too easily. Nowadays she binds her fins close to her body and attaches fake ones for swimming as Spoiler. Either that or they’re not vigilantes at all in this au, I’m still deciding. I also based her hair on her Robin look.

Dick is a flying fish, bc of COURSE he’s a flying fish. What else would he be, huh? I have visions about him jumping out of the water and sailing over or onto the Fentons’ boat. The transition on his waist is supposed to mimic the nightwing symbol if you can’t tell. That’s another design element I’m trying to vary— fish to flesh transitions.

Cass is a Sting Ray. She was originally gonna be a manta ray, but when i looked it up, sting rays were the ones with the more round shape i wanted. Mantas had much bigger wings, which were absolutely not gonna fit on this paper. But sting rays are cool! They’re super friendly, some aquariums have little “petting zoos” where you can pet the sting rays! And also, yk, stinging. I’m betting the ones at the aquarium didn’t have stingers that can affect humans tho. I may have to do further sting ray research. Yes that bigass thing is attached to her back everywhere except for her neck and the base of here head (bc i love drawing hair too much). Her arms are, ofc, not attached to it. I made her a ray in the first place bc they have very good camouflage at the bottom of the ocean. I saw this picture of a ray blending in but it was ominous af. It felt perfect for her.

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

The thing that surprised me when I first got into the fandom side of Shameless is that Fiona and Debbie will very rarely receive a nuanced reception for their actions (thinking about the things they do that are wrong and thinking about intent) whereas Lip's actions will always be handwaved away, even when he's 100% in the wrong. I still love Lip but it's led to me sometimes eye rolling at some of his scenes. Really the one's where he's screaming at someone about how wrong they are.

yeah… i love shameless and i love the fandom but they are both incredibly misogynistic, unfortunately.

*cue the man by taylor swift*

lip’s actions will always be defended because people think that he’s cool. debbie and fiona’s actions won’t, because people think that they’re bitches.

and there are so many pieces of evidence that the reason people (men) love lip and hate debbie and fiona is because of gender.

debbie or fiona could (and have) do the same fucked up thing that lip did and people react so differently.

for example:

lip trying to convince karen to keep her baby, wanting desperately to parent the child despite the fact that fiona warns him it’s a shitty decision because they can’t afford it, and for that, he’s stepping up. he’s mature. he’s brave.

debbie lies about being on birth control to purposefully have a kid and refuses to abort it despite fiona’s pleas because they can’t afford it, and she actually raises the kid all on her own, for that, she’s dumb. she���s a brat. she’s a bitch.

both of them were wrong. lip was wrong for telling karen what to do with her body and risking everything for his family for a child he wasn’t even 100% was his. debbie was wrong for lying to have a baby at fifteen (she was not wrong for not aborting franny, though. a lot of people think that she was, but i’m a firm believer in my body my choice, so it’s her absolute right to not abort her child).

debbie drops franny because of sleep deprivation and she’s suddenly the worst. fiona’s a drunk and suddenly she’s a bad character and a shitty person (she is a shitty person, but they all are). lip dropped his kid and is an alcoholic but he’s given the benefit of the doubt.

lip treats the women in his life like shit. probably because of monica. debbie and fiona get screamed at by him for honest mistakes (mostly fiona), mandy, amanda, sierra, and tami all got treated like shit by him when they were dating (tami doesn’t put up with it as much, though). and i’m not even necessarily saying he’s a misogynist, but he generally treats men better than women. and people are a little too okay with that.

all of lip’s actions are defended by how hard he had it, fiona and debbie’s aren’t. people will get really deep with lip, and explain how his every move is okay because his childhood was shitty. debbie and fiona are so complex also, and they literally had the same parents as lip, but people don’t like to get as deep and explain their every move with them (i do tho😉). every shameless character is complex. even the characters that aren’t as big. they all are complex and they have layers and if you look into them you can find a lot. people will do that with characters like lip, but with debbie and fiona they just kind of shrug it off. personally i find debbie much more interesting than lip but that’s just me.

if you’re going to defend lip because of how he was raised, you should defend all of the siblings. they literally grew up together.

and i love lip. i’m not trying to say i hate him, but if people are going to shit on fiona and debbie, then people should shit on lip, too.

i’ve said this before, but all of the characters resemble a role. they all have trauma and they all have different trauma responses. but just because they deal with it differently doesn’t mean that they aren’t traumatized.

i’m getting off topic as always lol.

but i wish that lip would get held accountable more. and i wish that people would go easier on fiona and debbie.

the show is called shameless. all of the characters are massive pieces of shit. to call any character except for like, liam, a good person is stupid because that’s missing the entire point. just because you like a character doesn’t mean that they’re an angel. one of my favorite characters is debbie and she’s a piece of shit. like she sucks ass but i also love her.

i’m unhappy with this post i might just redo it😭

[luddlestons]

... do you think tiefling clothing needs to be custom-made? Considering the amount of variations of anatomy they can have?

We got:

Variations on Horn size and Shape. How would they get anything on over their heads?

Some tieflings get wings, I'm pretty sure. Back cutouts? Just straight-up backless shirt?

Some tieflings have goat legs, like a satyr or depiction of the devil.

Clothing probably gets expensive, I'm just saying!

If we’re talking about your standard medieval-era fantasy d&d world, most clothing was custom made in the analogous earth time periods, either by tailors or by family members who knew how to sew garments. (Usually women but if we’re doing fantasy, fuck gender!) Some basics were ready-made, but the wide array of ready-made garments we see in stores nowadays are more of a post-industrial revolution thing afaik. (I’m not a fashion historian or medievalist by any means, just a fantasy writer/artist who likes to sew, so more info is welcome here!)

In more specific fantasy world dynamic thoughts: I imagine some tailors would specialize more so in tiefling clothing than others, so you’d want to go to one who knew what they were doing, but I don’t know that it would be much different to an average person’s clothing budget unless you’re in an area where tieflings are particularly rare, the tailor is upcharging you for modifications to basic patterns, and you don’t have any time or resources to sew your own garments or modify one you already have.

I imagine that in a fantasy world like d&d in particular, tailoring would have to be more varied based on the sheer number of different common body types! While in our world, a 7ft tall person is uncommon enough that most tailors would never have one as a client, d&d has half-giants, orcs, and firbolgs, all of whom are regularly over 7ft tall. I would say same difference for gnomes and halflings being so short, but probably you could just use the same sort of scaling you would for children’s garments so that wouldn’t be too out of the ordinary.

Tieflings, of course, land in the category of Extra Bits, like dragonborn, fauns, aasimar, and maybe others? I don’t know much about tabaxi, do they have tails? They ought to, right? (And depending on your lore I see people draw firbolgs and halflings with tails too!) And then you have tortles and aarakokra which are just different shapes ENTIRELY. Sartorial trades in fantasy universes would have to be WAAAY more varied, and that’s pretty cool to think about!

Oh but specifically for tieflings: for wings—I’ve seen designs that basically have slits with buttons or other fastenings that go above the wing so you sort of slide them on and then close them. I imagine you’d need a buddy to help you get dressed though, those seem like even more of a nightmare to do up unassisted than zipping up your own dress. Tails could function in basically the same way, just having a fastening above where they sit, but it would have to be very fitted to your individual tail, cuz if someone else’s is thicker or thinner and you’re borrowing their clothes, that looks like a Problem to Me.

Horns are probably the easiest to get around! You’d just need something that either buttons or laces up the front, has a very wide neckline, or that you can pull up from the bottom like a lot of dresses with fastenings up the back!

**forgot: faun-like legs/hooves would probably require either wide leg pants or SKIRTS! This is also what I use for my dragonborn who has legs shaped more like if a horse had claws and scales.

….this got very long. I think about these things OFTEN.

[hotluncheddie]

I absolutely love your chubby!Steve series!

I think partly because it challenges the fckng fatphobia my family has raised me with, acting like anyone who doesn't "fit" into their clothes anymore is fat and that's bad. Which *i* think is fckng stupid. I'm personally more at ease with my body. While being skinny (always was) ... ever since puberty or hitting my 20s I'm not a stick figure. I have some curves and while that's really nice if you feel comfortable in a woman's body - i've been struggling with gender and my little tummy fat, my thighs, my ass and always felt too feminine. I know I have a nice body (I feel strange about saying that) but in my eyes it's a lot of femme sexy not masc sexy. If it makes sense. But to get to the point 😂 I think your series has helped me too with reevaluating my depiction of whats masc and what's femme. And also how curves on men are hot and good and beautiful.

I'm obviouely not 100% there and probably won't ever be. But it helped a tiny bit! So pleaaaaaase never stop!! It's so good!

I really hope this all makes sense

(at first I wanted to make this anon but I'm gonna be brave about it! And yes it would be okay posting this publicly. But you can also answer if you want, privately)

hello friend!! ty for being brave and sending this! im so so so glad you’re enjoying them!!!

sorry i’m only just answering this too i kept thinking about what i wanted to say bc i never expected these stories to cause these kinds of thoughts. but it’s so cool!!

there is something so interesting about the way androgyny is so connected to thinness. and curves with femininity. like i saw an insta reel and this girl was doing butch outfit inso but she was a bigger, curvy woman and it kinda blew my mind like id never seen it before! they looked great!!

like masculinity and femininity is performance but i totally get the frustration of like having to counteract your ‘base’ in order to perform the way you feel most comfortable. if that makes sense. like i so often want a t-shirt to fit me like it would a skinny skater boy but i also think i look pretty hot naked haha and i know that’s me with my traditionally ‘feminine’ body shape. so i feel like i get what ur saying? sorry if i’m way off

but yeah i’m also sorry you’ve been struggling with your gender i hope it hasn’t been too dysphoric for you!

its just really interesting that you’ve sent me this tho. when thinking about like, how everyone interprets art differently. like, i honestly just started writing them bc i find bigger people really attractive. i wasn’t really trying to say anything about fat phobia but i totally see how it’s all connected. like i just think bellies are hot and i find peoples chests hot, like, boobs or pecs, whatever, its just a really nice, beautiful area. so i kinda wanted to just get that attraction out in writing because im trying to be less embarrassed about what turns me on. maybe that's why i write eddie so goofy, thats me still being a little embarrassed but also just maybe makes it all more accessible to people. idk.

but yeah i guess it’s just nice to talk about different body types, especially with such a traditional american male character like steve. i’ve just never found like a six pack very attractive, personally. i find strength and curves and softness and bigness really nice so idk i hope i’m giving a little more representation to that.