#I wanna see it all so badly man
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everyday I wish for the possibility of an all for the game tv series solely because of my desire to see real, live people play exy
#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#I’m very aware that a tv show would probably never happen#or movies#because of the everything about this series#all of which I love and cherish but know most people would find fault with#but my favorite parts of the books have always been the actual games#and I would LOVE to see a game played by actual people#Andrew’s insane blocks#Kevin and Neil’s impossible shots#the fraying defense line rallying around Andrew in the final book#I wanna see it all so badly man#and like specific games because USC vs. the foxes sounds like such a wild match#is exy in real life a thing the way [redacted] is#because if it’s not it should be#maybe with less deadly racquets though
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taco and mephone have fascinating parallels more people could explore if taco haters weren't biased cowards
#meeple.txt#inanimate insanity#ii taco#ii mephone4#dare i maintag this. watever#like taco haters r obsessed with the idea that taco is ruining herself worse and dragging everyone down with her#when shes literally just doing the challenge mephone created and even changes her intentions on hosting the challenge partway through#bc shes REALIZING how badly everyones been affected by the show just as she was#and she uses the attention she now has and urges them to leave and escape because she doesnt want anyone to end up like her#she believes shes past saving Yes#but thats exactly why shes trying to help the others avoid getting to the extent shes gone#meanwhile even when getting his wrongdoings slapped in his face mephone doubles down bc thats all he knows#thats all he feels safe with. he cant let himself trust and be vulnerable and its ruining his life and all his relationships along with him#it says SO MUCH about both mephones and tacos arcs that MEPAD. the one whos been inseparable to mephone from the Start#is seeing more hope of improvement in TACO than mephone#taco the infamous villain to everyone since s1. since before mepad was ever conscious#if anything mephone is the one ruining himself in denial and hurting others in the process#and im not saying that to vilify mephone either !!!! before you 0 nuance bitches come in#if it wasnt obvious from my entire page i LOVE mephone and i LOVE where theyre taking his character. make that man Worse ❤️#but i feel like so many ppl are just projecting mephones arc onto taco bc they dont wanna admit mephone has Issues
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just finished undertale. ok i see the vision. i now understand yall's Sans-to-Benrey obsession pipeline. and the Papyrus-to-Tommy Coolatta pipeline
#undertale#hlvrai#hlvrai2#benrey#tommy coolatta#papyrus#benry#hlvrai benry#sans undertale#sans#undertale sans#undertale spoilers#i loved Papyrus so much and the whole time i was playing i was like hmm he reminds me of someone...? TOMMY. HE REMINDS ME. OF TOMMY.#i played pacifist but i saw how if u kill every1 n spare Papyrus Sans tells him every1 else is on a vacation bc truth would be too hard#file under: lies Gordon would tell Tommy if anything happened to Sunkist or his dad Gman#we wanna protect Tommy but on the other hand. the horrors r everywhere & Tommy go ham with a gun (he's terrified & acting on pure instinct)#(even tho Tommy has definitely faced his share of horrors in contrast to how Papyrus's loved ones try to shelter him from bloodshed)#i wanna write a paper psychoanalyzing Sans and Benrey in comparison to each other SOOOOO badly#it's been a hot minute since i last watched hlvrai (have seen it at least 4 times but not recently. did watch bbvrai live tho!)#im so extremely tired rn so i can't form proper thoughts :( but like:#they both have unfathomable otherworldly power and knowledge of their respective universes#but u wouldn't know it bc they're presented as just some chill guy who likes to make jokes and Vibe man#sike! they're a being of elderitch levels of power#they both act in accordance to game code but Sans can control parts of it (can see the timeline) while Benrey is much more subject to it#in some ways they are the antithesis of each other's motives but also contain the same vibes (all-powerful guy laidback n funny final boss)#Sans is judgment but doesn't interfere with the timeline. Benrey takes action that's “i knew this was gonna happen”#Benrey is fought as the final villain whereas Sans is arguably the final hero fight#anyways THEIR VIBES ARE BOTH SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!#idk if they'd be besties or mortal enemies#they can bond over being “unserious” (but they both take their true jobs very seriously. security guard and judgment bringer respectively)
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#lol i love seeing just straight up bullying on tiktok(/s)#someone(im guessing) went into a discord server for proshipping#and then posted their face reveals on tiktok!?!??!?!#basically saying: look how ugly and weird they look#like what the fuck#just bcs you dont agree with someones opinion ON SHIPPING#doesnt mean you should blast them on socmed?#they posted those pics in a trusted space :(#why are people so cruel and vindictive nowadays#people who make it their whole personalities to shit on pros OR antis are so embarrassing#just keep to yourself and keep your personal moral highground you know?#like they go low we go higher etc#cause on tiktok people will post very bait proshipper tiktoks#to the point where i honestly think they're 100% antis who just wanna sow discourse and disgust#like when i see those people im like just ignore them???#just dont engage man. you end up encouraging people to do worse and worse just to cause drama#but yeah antis in return will make all their posts 'correcting' these obv bait posts#like both of you get a life and just do things that make you happy. not things that obv upset you#idk it kinda sickens me how much time people devote to activities that clearly doesn't make them happy#even if youre pleased about dunking on people you morally disagree w +#wouldnt you feel happier engaging with content that yknow. fills you with genuine enjoyment?#not enjoyment fueled by disgust or morally superiority#idk some people feel like children so i shouldnt care too deeply. but the amnt of toxic behavior is so disturbing to me#the posting of faces got on my nerves badly. no matter if you disagree with someone#you shouldnt just straight up expose their face on your big acct BECAUSE OF DIFFERENCES IN SHIPPING OPINION#and the fact that the point is to imply they're all ugly. so fucking childish and disgusting#i reported but idk if that'd do anything. i wish i could have an honest dialog w people like that tbh#catie.rambling.txt
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Hnngg
#im so stressed ughhhhh#this divorce is gonna end me man though im probably stressing out over nothing AGAIN#like tomorrow my dad's bringing some expert to the house to put a price on the house#and i literally have no idea whatever that's gonna be how we are gonna pay that shit lmaoo#also i just really don't wanna be there or be with them in the same house god i hate it when they're near each other#i am..... going through it more than i probably should since I'm an adult now n stuff but whatever#it's not like i can just stop feeling all this distress and grief n shit especially since he's already found a girlfriend#with kids and stuff and they've already been going to my grandparents ughhh i feel thrown away you know#it hasn't even been a year it's pissing me off so badly#i feel like killing myself every time i think about tomorrow and then I feel even worse when i think about later ughhh#i shouldn't be so distressed i really shouldn't#especially since I've been living my life on an incredible streak of luck so.#whateverrrrr#uhh like comment and subscribe#vent#i just gotta. cause there isn't anyone here i can really talk to since#everyone sees this so much more differently and sis is just always telling me im making it into something bigger than it is#but it's really stressing me out#idk i fear this is not gonna end nicely I don't even see him anymore#and it literally hasn't even been a year but he's not really talking to me but at the same time i don't really#feel like talking to him either so who knows uhh..
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i dont rmbr if i made a post talking about his voice but 🥹
#sorry im#waaayy too emotionally attached to him now ewwwww (sorry im shy harhar)#i only rmbr gushing so hard abt thsi when it came out thru an rb#but i wanna talk abt it moreee#butbutbutbut aauuuu auuhhffh#i so badly want to hear more of his voice i wanna hear it sososo bad ashes of memory 3 please come soon please please please#i want tosee my husband i want to see if he's ok :( :( :(#stageplay was for fhe funny but now im so emo abt this omg#he's so desperate it makes me so sad :( resorting to so much risk just to get out of where he is it makes me feel so bad#he is a good man. but he turned to being the worst because the good he provided was never returned to him :((((#me fighting between talking about how charming his voice is vs me being a wet cat about his situation#it makes me so mad that they hide all the eng vas but let the jp and cn vas get mentioned gkrkgkfk
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whatevers wrong with this man i like it
#i didnt expect to like touchstarved from what id seen from its fandom but when i finally tried the demo i was pleasantly surprised#i looked at the meta first cos i do things backwards and. man. what a good reminder that the most vocal fans also are the most stupid#girl you are misinterpreting The Text so badly that what you consider the subtext is suspicious#i felt bad for the leaps i was making from a single prologue but i see you people are jumping straight off the cliff with nothing so nvm#anyway leander do you want to fuck all your friends. do you want to fuck all your friends that hate you leander#i fear them making a green character associated with flowers snakes ouroboros masks and 8s was specifically an attack against me.#if only i hadn't found this like a year before official release. got dam#i could and would go on but the nurse has arrived with my sedative#its actually genuinely hard to pick a favourite they all have aspects i really like so far#at first kuras' subdued personality kind of washed off me but then his ending to the prologue was v fun and put him in a different light#wtf a vn with characters that are all hits for me. unfair#i love that u can ask them all about each other at the end there. love how its modelling its characters social fumbles#in particular given everything the promo material says about leander and vere and how they talk about each other#u can get a picture of a very fumbled situation there lmaooo between leanders savior complex and veres inability to set down real boundarie#butttt you know them all for less than a day... i wanna know what happened there
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i flip flop so often between calling george my wife and wanting him and also sitting staring at the wall for hours at a time because he and i have been through so similar of experiences that it’s excruciating.
#thoughts#he and i are twins#like. yeah i get your pain man#i too was abandoned by people i basically grew up with#who were so self involved with each other they didn’t see me as an equal anymore#and when i tried to bring it up they shut me down and called ME a manipulator#because they didn’t wanna see how badly they were mistreating me#(i know of course that’s not all george went through. but it’s the one experience that he and i share)#either way.#that’s why i can never say i want a john or a paul#because i’m always gonna be george#and it’s always gonna be painful for me#anyways!#lots of thoughts this morning sorry
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#augh fuck man cmon can i have one day#i wanna kill myself so badly I'm not even sad man i just. god.#lots of thoughts. I'm safe but like. i cannot stop thinking about so many things#i was a bad person for a long time. i fear i still am. i put myself above others and i am a danger to my friends.#I'm unable to consistently pin down what drives or motivates me let alone what the cause of my dysfunction is.#i think often of when i was with my second boyfriend. how i mistreated him daily and how i never got a job or did anything at all.#i think of the people this year I've hurt with recklessness. i think of the ways i use people for my own ends.#i think of the ways i make people feel for me. the ways i get people to see me as someone else.#but self flagellation isn't accountability‚ it's not productive‚ and it's certainly not healthy.#I am just trying to let this out. I'm not admonishing myself. just. being open.#i think I'm still a bad person. i don't think such a thing exists#but i feel i am one all the same.
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1 oneshot graced by Taliesin playing Kingsley Tealeaf is simply not enough, I need to see how hot and divine he looks 7 years later on his throne in Darktow, want to see him finally go on that journey, "to visit and learn," King retracing all the steps of the Mighty Nein's quest until he's finally ready to reunite with them again--
#aGONY#think of how we her molly/king so briefly and how hes the only one of all the nein we didnt get to see in the present yet and like#just wanna lay down and cry--#cr please....let me see the circus man again soon i miss him so badly :((
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lowkey. Not over my ex at all
#It’s been months man#And yet I still feel the ever lasting effects#Am k cruel? Manipulative? I don’t think I am but he said I was and I so badly want to believe it#Cuz maybe I’ll actually fix what’s wrong with me and people will actually love me#also s very love sick in the sense that I need someone to be in love with me#But going t4t hasn’t worked out that well for me (cough cough my ex..)#N I don’t wanna fuck up coming out to any cis guys#Which idek if I truly like them or if I’m just so desperate I’ll fall in love with anyone as long as they treat me right#I think one of th things keeping me from getting over him is the fact that he was so affectionate??? And I had gotten so used to that#Constant feeling cuz I never really had it before and now that I don’t have it anymore I don’t know what to do with myself#Not to mention I’m too scared to do all that again because he always wanted more despite my protests#I fucking hate this. How can I be touch starved and repulsed at the same time#I can’t do this shit anymore man. Fuck.#Vent#There r certain people o wish could see this but none of them use tumblr fuck fuck fuck#Me when one had mild crushes on cis guys )okay maybe just one that I don’t even think saw me as a real friend in the one semester k had wit#Him…) but we’re so different and I think he hates me and he’s friends with my friends and ijhhhhwj#I hate hate hate love#Hate being in love. Hate that I can’t be in love. Hate that nobody loves me#I actually cannot take this shit anymore it’s one of the only things that truly ever gets to me anymore
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ANOTHER DEATH BY INMOLATION???? ENOUGH!!!!
#really happy about being wrong about oden. normally when you see something is badly written it is true but here oden being alive being bad#writing was a trally a gotcha moment.... well unlike with pell and laki and wiper..... and conis' dad....#ashura....... and kanjuro is still alive...... this man deserves an execution#is this orichi??? the beheaded one was a kanjuro drawing too???? jesus#orichis fruit is a dragon with a lot of heads.... maybe he can regrow them lmao....#omg double hakai.... goodbye my brave soldiers.... ZORO?? ENMA IS A GODSEND YOU OWN ALL YOUR LIVES TO HIYORI....#zoro got hurt and luffy is on the offensive again..... exactly..... YES RED ROCK!!! BUT DON'T MISS!!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1025#oden and kin on a flower field..... okay......#luffy stopping the attack meant for zoro.... oof#kaido's face knowing this was gonna hurt....#kid and traffy catching luffy too..... everybody loves luffy.....#how can luffy just stop kaido's attack like that's insane....#the others attacking big mom... that was such a big brain move.... they made teams here... luffy and then the brains (everyone elseÑ#jesus. that was something else#luffys giggle and smile when kid and tragfy catch him... he is so happy when people are there for him..... he loves fighting with friends :)#episode 1026#OMG GOODBYE BIG MOM!!!! SHE IS IN THE SEA I CANT BELIEVE THIS!!!!!#TRAFFY RATHER LET THE MISSION FAIL THAN ONE OF THEM DIE??? OMG#HOW IS PROMETHEUS IN THE WATER?????? FUCK OFF!!!!#they are bullying zeus lmaooo INTERNAL FIGHTING!! INTERNAL FIGHTING!!!#luffy knocked out and atill looking at kaido again.... ooff#this is insane. luffy just saved zoro and told him he wont need to die and here he goes again. oh this time i migh fr die. take care goodbye#the bleeding... oof THE SCAR JUST AS THE ONE HE HAS.... goodbye zolo..... rip bozo... don't fall like that man..... ass up like sanji...#he got a 2x1 hit..... goodbye law too.... kaido's eye when he notices luffy is up again.... also haoshoku..... i dont wanna look it up.....#nvm is the conqueror's haki.... i do not remember the og names AT ALL#episode 1027
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ohh im close.to having crazy gender issues again
#wish i was a girl like.im.afab or whatever but Jesus. i wish i could be comfortable as a girl#but maam lady she her sis girl UGHHH all makes.me.feel like ass#butlike i want to be one sometimes#and sometimes wonder if i loved myself more if i would still be trans#like if i was skinny and disnt have trauma from being bullied so hard would i still be trans#because i wish so badly i could be a skinny cunty girl but honestly the most i can ever do#is be a depressed asian middle aged man in a few years#and i see myself growing old as someone presenting as a man especially in my career field#but im my mind . the little girl i grew up with got older and is hiding in a corner of my head but i cant be her regardless of how much#i want to be .. idk#i have a beard growing rn and i hate it and want it off my fucking face and i wish i could do makeup and have long hair again#but the beard and short hair stop people from calling me a woman bc no matter how much i wish to be a girl i HATE being called one#and i hate being called lady woman female or whatever like i just wanna be a girl. ugh
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Can't even pick a movie because everything reminds me of him
#txt#put the simpsons movie on 3 nights in a row cause its juat#just#not a reminder lol its the only thing#8 years of watching shit while in a relationship#and its all#a#reminder#i legit havent wanted to die so badly since i was a teenager#everything is fucking agitating me#i cant handle it#i csnt#i donnnnnnnttttttt wanna do this#omg#im going insane aha#he comes here and it makes him sad so i said dont come here anymore#but i need to see hi.#him#and talk to hjm#but he said im messaging too much when i asked#so what the fuck am i supposed to do#cant sleep without something on BECAUSE of him ahaha#the fucking irony man
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gonna be honest, the sheer amount of drafts i have makes me want to perish and thus even entering my drafts inspires the urge to run away immediately ASDFGFD
#NGL THIS IS WHY I'VE BEEN CONCENTRATING ON MEMES#the idea of scrolling through all of my drafts rn makes me want to actually close my laptop oh man#i wish there was a mass delete button so i could just reset the whole thing and simply ask which threads y'all wanted to keep#bc if i try to go through and delete stuff myself i think i'll struggle a lot with keeping and tossing#i'm very bad about 'well i don't have muse now but i wanna see how it turns out so badly!!'#memes piling up doesn't stress me out as much bc most are quick blurbs with unprompted asks sprinkled in#and those are much quicker to scroll through and just?? i dunno easier to find muse for sometimes#but i wanna write consistent threads very badly y'all i wanna go 'AAAAHHH' bc of what our muses are getting up to!!#my brain is being so mean rn she needs to get it together#get ready to ramble | ooc
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God installing mods was both the best and worst decision ever because now I am sitting on 7 fucking playthroughs
Here's the list:
Nimue (Durge; High Elf; White Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer) - Romancing Astarion
Raven (Lolth-Sworn Drow; Swords College Bard) - Probably romancing Minthara
Ez'ria (Githyanki; Great Old Ones Warlock) - Romancing Lae'zel
Bea (Half-Drow; Necromancy Wizard) - Romancing Gale
Lusine (Mephistopheles Tiefling; Paladin of Selune) - Romancing Shadowheart
Fortuna (Fairy {Modded Race}; Lore College Bard) - Undecided, maybe Astarion
Elrayne (Seldarine Drow; Light Cleric of Eilistraee) - Romancing Karlach
My preference for white-haired women strikes again woops (also my preference for Elves/Elf adjacent specially Drow. 5/7 (I count Fortuna cause...Fey) of these ladies are Elven just different flavors kjfgbjkgb)
I won't make them all into OCs no matter how much I kinda wanna because handling this many would be insanity.
Besides Raven and Nimue some have a bit more defined backstory than others though.
Bea is just a goofy necromancer lady who is maybe a little bit of bimbo and also trying so hard to ignore the way everyone stares at her with suspicion all the time. Also her friends are skeletons. She has no actual friends. She's an orphan and she just went ":D here's my skeleton undead friends-" cue some woman screaming in horror and she's just confused because she just wanted to show her friends :(
Fortuna left the Feywild many years ago to become a Tymora-worshipping (because Fortuna went 'You're Lady Luck? Obv Imma worship you! I vibe with you so hard!') bard in Baldur's Gate who is living her best life and is uh. EXTREMELY pissed about being implanted with a Mind Flayer tadpole. You know how Dolly Thrice throws a fit when you don't free her? Yeah. Yeah Fortuna is basically like that.
Elrayne was born on the surface and highly sheltered in a Eilistraean enclave so she didn't really understand the reality of how Drow are viewed and what other Drow have done until she hit maybe like 50 years old and she was kidnapped and tortured for being a Drow before being rescued, which is where she got the scars she has currnely (mind you she is at least 200, I hear that its only in the last century treatment towards Drow has gotten a LITTLE better, but apparently during BG2 Viconia was literally gonna be burnt at the stake for being a Drow so UH). And later on when she went on her first undercover mission in the Underdark when she was 100 and got found out and its where her eyes were damaged and the mask she wears is basically a magic artifact that lets her see better. She's not totally blind but its really hard to see without the mask. She hasn't gone on any undercover missions since but she HAS still traversed the Underdark many times to help Drow who do want to be better. She's basically in a really bad position where she tries really hard to show others Drow aren't evil and is just trying to do good but when so many of her race give a horrible rep to them and she faces all sorts of discrimination she's having doubts in Eilistraee's goal and wondering if its really worth all the suffering as even whilst she redeems one or two Drow every so often there are thousands of other Drow. And just a few bad apples can spoil the bunch you know? And changing the surface's mind isn't easy.
#{rose posting}#self control ? dont know her jfgbjkngfvb#i love making. pretty women. see they'd be all different classes. but i wanted so badly to make a pretty fairy who vicious mockery's folks#I HAD TO MAN. I HAD TO. LEGALLY OBLIGATED TO MAKE A SHITTALKING FAIRY#thankfully i Think that i may be satisfied once i make a druid and a rogue. i think.#cause i already played a ranger in sylve's playthrough. and the other classes i dont really wanna play. though there is a temptation to do-#oathbreaker durge run but its also Hard cause i see nimue as durge real firmly so.#also dont ask how i am juggling this many playthroughs. because i dont know and i also am not really juggling them.#i am mainly playing nimue atm.#but yeah i am maybe a teensy bit deranged.
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