#I try constantly to be there for you. to help you feel better. and what do I get? namedropped on your vent blog like I’m the bad guy
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Done Waiting
Lando Norris x bsf!reader
She isn’t you
Hi, could I request a salami sandwich with tomato on wheat bread, please, and thank you. Request from @itsnotsophiasworld
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MF: SOS, can anyone fly to Spain to check on Lando? From what I’ve gathered, he is staying in an Airbnb by himself and very much in his head. I’m caught up in some work stuff, or else I’d make the trip myself.
Your heart sank reading Max's text to your friend group. Lando had been having a rough season and was constantly getting ripped apart in the media, no matter what he did. All you could do was make sure that he knew you were there for him and try to be around as much as possible, which was easy as you also lived in Monaco. But after the last race before summer break, none of you had heard from him.
Looking at flights, you quickly replied to the group saying that you could go. One of the many perks of working remotely was that you could pick up your computer and go anywhere, so leaving to help Lando was a no-brainer. There was a flight leaving tonight, so you purchased that and started to pack.
You wished the world could see him the way that you did. He was a caring, down-to-earth friend who would do anything for the people he loved. It was hard for anyone who knew him not to like him, and it was hard for you not to be in love with him.
It hadn’t taken you long after meeting him to fall for his charm, but he had been dating someone else then, so you settled for friendship. That was three years ago, and you’d dated guys since, but the feelings still lingered. He could make you feel like you were the only girl in the world, so it was easy to get sucked in.
Ultimately, you valued your friendship too much to ever act on it, even when you were both single. You’d been through too much together to risk losing him. You had a hunch that he felt the same way about you because of how overly affectionate he was with you compared to everyone else and that you were usually his first call. Still, his life was busy, and you understood that a girlfriend didn’t fit in that picture right now.
Landing in Spain around 10, you grabbed your luggage before jumping in a cab to the address Max had sent you. The Airbnb was a cute little beach cottage right on the ocean, and you inhaled a deep breath of salty air and instantly felt better.
The door to the house swung open, and you were greeted by what seemed to be a very irritated Lando.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Making sure you don’t do something crazy,” you replied, mirroring him with his arms.
“I want to be alone.”
“I don’t care.”
You stared at each other for a while, neither one giving in before he finally sighed and moved past you to grab your suitcase, grumbling to himself. The cottage had windows on the backside, allowing a constant view of the ocean, which you could appreciate. Lando put my luggage in the guest room before joining me as you looked at the water.
“You didn’t have to come; I’m fine,” he muttered. You looked over at him with a sad smile, reaching your hand down to grab his.
“I wanted to come.” He gave you a small smile, and you took in his exhausted state, noting just how bad it really was.
“Why don’t we get some rest? Then you’ll be ready for a full day tomorrow,” you suggested, and he looked over at you.
“I’m here to relax, y/n,” he said, and you smiled mischievously.
“It will be relaxing, I promise.”
It was not relaxing.
You dragged Lando out of bed at 7 a.m. to go on a run, and he was not happy with you, but you were just happy he came along. Jogging through the little town, you could tell that his mood was improving as he kept pace with you.
Out of breath, you were hunched over as you two had climbed to the top of a dune.
“Are you not relaxed?” Lando teased, and you gave him the finger. “Aren’t you supposed to be working?”
“Yeah, I need to log on when we get back to the place,” you wheezed, and he handed you his water bottle. “What are your plans for while I work?”
“Oh, I don’t know, scroll through social media hate, maybe watch all my old races and critique everything I did; the possibilities are endless.”
Shooting him a look, you sighed, “That would be funny if I didn’t know you’d already been doing that.”
He looked down at his feet, and you moved over to him, wrapping your arms around his torso. His head found your shoulder, he breathed deeply, and you held on tighter.
“You’re going to be okay Lan,” you said, looking up at him.
“I know,” he said sadly.
Lando spent the rest of the day in the water while you worked, slipping away to get groceries for the night. He hadn’t had time to hide all the takeout bags and boxes he had been surviving on, so you figured a homecooked meal would do him well.
Having dealt with him being a picky eater for a while, you were finishing up your favorite spaghetti and meatballs recipe when he came back into the house.
“Smells great,” he commented and you smiled. “Can we eat outside?”
“You read my mind,” you replied, plating the food.
Eating on the back deck, you felt a sense of serenity as the sound of waves crashing filled your ears.
“This place is amazing; how did you find it?” You asked, turning to Lando.
“Honestly, I just opened the app and picked the first place I saw that looked secluded,” he admitted. “I just wanted to be away from everyone.”
“We are here for you to lean on Lan,” you said softly. “I’m never going to leave you.”
“I know that, but I just don’t want to disappoint you,” he confessed, and your heart sank.
“Lando Norris,” you said, forcing him to look at you. “There is nothing you could ever do to disappoint me. I am so insanely proud of everything you’ve accomplished. Please come back to Monaco with me tomorrow.”
“What did I do to deserve you?” He whispered, holding out his arms. You climbed into his lap, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and running your fingers through his hair.
“You buy me so much shit so I have to be nice to you,” you joked and he giggled. He pulled his head back to look at you, and your breath hitched because of the lack of distance between the two of you. Shifting, you tried to move back but his grip on you tightened so you leaned down to bring your lips to his. As you were a millimeter away his phone started to ring and you rested your head briefly against his, groaning internally.
Sliding off of him you handed him his phone as it was Max calling. Hearing him tell Max he was coming home the next day made you smile, and you gathered all the dishes to clean up. He joined you a little later, and neither of you brought up the almost kiss; you wrote it off as something that happened in the heat of the moment.
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Zandvoort was a dream, and you were so glad you made the trip with your friends. The next race you were going to was Singapore and Lando had invited you, Max, and some others to hang out the week before in Portugal.
Your friend group had rented a big house, and you were ready to soak in the sun and relax after taking the week off work. Pietra and you had flown in together and met up with everyone that night at dinner.
“Hi, I’m Mary,” a girl you didn’t recognize said to you, holding out her hand. You smiled back warmly, introducing yourself.
“Mary and I met at a shoot early this year,” Pietra explained, and you nodded. You chatted with her for a while over dinner, glad to have another girl on the trip.
You were less happy the next day when you watched this girl throw herself at Lando every chance she got. Right now, you were watching as she asked Lando how to show her how to hit the ball off the tee at the golf course where you guys were.
“Ya know I went golfing with her two weeks ago, and she had a perfect swing,” Pietra muttered and you grimaced, watching Lando wrap his arms around the girl to guide her swing. It seemed like she would find a way to touch him no matter where you went. Up against him at dinner, clinging to him in the pool, leaning on him while you were watching a movie.
At this point your jealousy was flaring up and you were trying to keep your composure, especially because this girl had been nothing but nice to you. What made it worse was that Lando entertained it, accepting her advances right in front of you. Your mind replayed that almost kiss back in Spain and the way the two of you had gotten closer since that trip. It had seemed to you that something was changing in your relationship, but clearly not. The whole trip you felt like your heart was being ripped apart and you were starting to wonder if you needed to take a break from being around him until you could get over your crush.
Two nights before you were supposed to leave the group ended up at a club downtown as a pre-celebration for what you predicted would be a Lando win in Singapore. Rounds and rounds of shots were taken and you were dancing with Pietra on the dance floor trying to have a good time.
You briefly glanced back at the VIP section, and your stomach dropped. Mary was sitting on Lando’s lap, and you watched as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Water instantly filled your eyes, and Pietra looked concerned before following your gaze. She looked at you with such sadness that you decided then and there that you were done.
Leaving the club you walked back to the Airbnb alone. You weren’t sure if it was your drunkenness or just the emotional exhaustion of the situation but you started to get angry. Time after time, you were there for him and this is what you got back. It would be different if he had made it clear from the start that he wasn’t interested but he didn’t do that. He slept in your bed back in Monaco on nights like these, he spoiled you constantly with gifts, and you knew that he had told other drivers on the grid to back off from you, laying a claim.
God, you were so fucking over it.
You gathered all your stuff and threw it in your suitcase, calling for a cab to take you to the airport. You made it down the stairs just as Max was coming in. His face fell as he saw your bag.
"No y/n don’t go,” he pleaded, and you shook your head, already feeling tears start to fill your eyes.
“I can’t fucking do this anymore Max,” you said, voice cracking. “I have to protect my heart.”
“You know he loves you,” he said moving towards you to hold you. “Everyone knows that.”
“If that’s true, why have I watched him with her this whole weekend? Why did I just watch him sit there when she stuck her tongue down his throat right in front of me,” you yelled and Max stayed silent. “Exactly. I need some space to figure out how things can move forward between us.”
Max helped you carry your bag outside and the two of you stood silently waiting for the car. Just as it pulled up, Lando walked up to the house, alone.
“Y/N!” He called out, not seeing your suitcase yet. “Where’d you run off too? I was looking for you.”
You turned around and his eyes widened seeing your tear stained face, his gaze flickering down to your bag.
“What’s going on?” He asked hoarsely and you just shook your head turning back to get into the car before you started to sob.
“Let her go mate,” you heard Max tell him and you looked out the window to see him holding Lando back. The sight made you cry harder as the car finally drove off.
Lando’s POV
Watching the car disappear down the street, Lando turned to Max, panic and confusion colliding in his mind.
“Why is she leaving, Max? What the hell happened?”
Max let out a sigh, his eyes searching Lando’s face with a mix of frustration and pity. “Mate, she’s in love with you. And honestly, you’re in love with her too, even if you haven’t figured it out yet.”
Lando froze, the weight of Max’s words hitting him harder than he expected. He thought of all the moments he spent with you—the late-night talks, the shared laughter, the comforting silence. He thought about how he’d let Mary get close, but each time she reached for him, a nagging feeling crept up inside him.
She isn’t you.
The thought was so painfully clear now. It didn’t matter how kind or fun Mary was—she wasn’t you. And suddenly, he realized why none of it felt right.
“I need to go,” Lando said suddenly. “I need to go to the airport.”
He took off down to the main street hailing a cab but when he finally got there, you were gone.
—--------------------------------------------
You skipped the Singapore GP. You didn’t even watch it on tv so you didn’t know why everyone was wondering why despite winning, Lando looked miserable standing on the podium.
He had texted you a million times begging you to call him but you declined the call everytime. You were trying to move on. You’d started running again in the mornings, working out of coffee shops, and hanging out with your girlfriends. Basically you were doing everything in your power to not think of him; and it worked until 10pm each night. Then you were miserable.
It was two weeks after Singapore when you heard knocking at your door one evening. You weren’t expecting anyone so you were especially surprised to see Oscar standing on the other side of your door. Considering he didn’t live in Monaco, you didn’t really know what to say, just stared at him silently.
“May I come in?” He asked politely and you nodded, stepping aside to let him through. “Nice apartment.”
“Thanks,” you replied following him into the living room. “What are you doing here?”
He settled down on your couch, motioning for you to join him and you sunk down on the other side.
“I need you to tell me what happened when you and Lando were in Portugal,” he said slowly and you immediately looked away.
“It doesn’t matter,” you mumbled, playing with your hands.
“It does matter,” Oscar insisted. “It’s okay if you finally rejected him but I need to know how to fix him.”
Your head snapped up, “I didn’t reject him Oscar. He basically rejected me.”
“There’s no way,” Oscar said, shocked and you told him everything that had happened from you flying to Spain for him to him making out with that girl at the club.
“Trust me when I say that I’m not trying to invalidate your feelings, but I feel like this is a big misunderstanding,” Oscar said and you rolled your eyes. “He is so in love with you y/n. All he does is talk about you.”
“Then why did he never tell me!” You said, voice rising. “I’ve been there the whole time Oscar, and he has never said anything. I want to be with someone who isn’t afraid to love me.”
Oscar’s heart broke at your words, knowing you were feeling this way.
“I came here y/n, because he is a mess without you,” he said. “I’ve never seen him like this and it’s starting to affect his racing so I’m begging you to at least think about talking to him.”
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You would have thought that Lando would stop texting after a while but he didn’t. Every morning he texted you “good morning” and gave you updates on his day even though you weren’t responding. His plan seemed to be to slowly chip away at you until you were ready to come back and unfortunately it was working.
Brazil was the next race that your friend group was attending and you went back and forth on what you should do before finally deciding to book a flight. Max must have told Lando because you immediately were notified that your flight had been upgraded and your hotel had been booked.
Because of a work event, you weren’t going to be able to get there until Saturday night and probably wouldn’t see Lando until qualifying or after the race. You joined Max and Pietra on the track, bright and early on Sunday morning and you were wondering how Lando would survive with it being this early in the morning.
Oscar gave you a big hug when he saw you and you could tell he was incredibly relieved that you were there. Qualifying was 20 minutes away and you heading towards the Paddock club when you turned a corner and were immediately wrapped up in two arms. Inhaling his familiar scent, you relaxed into his touch.
“I missed you so fucking much,” he said into your ear and you hummed in reply. You were still unsure about pretending like nothing ever happened. He pulled back to look at you and his excitement was contagious, pulling a small smile out of you.
“We’ll talk later okay?” He asked and you nodded. “I have a lot of things I need to say to you.”
He kissed your forehead before running off and you tried to keep your cool. Qualifying was good for him and you were feeling good about the race but a little nervous about the weather conditions.
Sitting with Max and Pietra in the paddock club the mood was very much anxious. Lando had been doing great until a red flag reset everything. He had fallen down because of pitting and you watched as he went off the track on that first turn, your heart sinking. The rest of the race was a blur and he finished in P6 which you knew would not go over well with him.
After the race, you felt hesitant heading back to the McLaren hospitality area. You weren’t sure if he’d want to see you, especially in his disappointment. But as you lingered by the entrance, you caught sight of him. Lando was drenched, exhausted, and his usual radiant energy seemed dimmed. Still, he locked eyes with you, a faint smile managing to pull at the corner of his lips.
He walked over slowly, stopping right in front of you. “You waited for me?”
“Of course I did, Lando,” you replied softly, feeling the gravity of the moment settle in. “I always do.”
He nodded, then glanced around at the crowded area. “Can we go somewhere… quieter?”
You followed him through the paddock until you found yourselves outside in a secluded spot overlooking the track. For a moment, neither of you spoke. Finally, Lando took a deep breath.
“I was an idiot,” he began, voice raw with honesty. “You don’t know how many times I replayed that trip to Portugal, thinking about what I could’ve done differently. I didn’t understand how much it would hurt you… I was blind to everything but my own mess.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but he kept going, unable to hold back.
“You’ve been the best part of my life for years, and it took almost losing you to realize how much I’d taken you for granted. I’m sorry, y/n. I thought I was protecting you by not… admitting how I feel. I thought if I never said it out loud, maybe it’d hurt less. But I can’t pretend anymore. I love you.”
Hearing those words, the walls you’d built around yourself began to crack, the anger and disappointment from before softening as you looked into his eyes.
“I’ve loved you for so long,” you whispered and he gave you a soft smile.
“I know, I’m sorry I didn’t see it before.”
When he kissed you, it was tender and full of all the unspoken words and missed opportunities between you. As you pulled away, you both smiled, feeling the weight of the past couple of weeks finally lift.
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There’s a learning curve that comes with being married to someone who wasn’t human. Even more so when it was an arranged marriage and you were sort of just tossed into it.
Your husband was a good man though, a towering 8.5ft tall monster with elephant-like tusks and a whole culture you were still learning, be he took care of you well.
The first time you got your period living together he had no idea what was going on, but happily waiting on you hand and foot. Making sure he brought you pain medicine, snacks, and rubbed your aching joints.
The second time, he walked in on you desperately rubbing your clit to relax some of the cramps away. You were embarrassed beyond words, not that you hadn’t already slept together, but it was still quite the situation to be caught in.
“You know, I can help with that too” he shrugged and sat down the snacks he was bringing for you.
“It’s fine, it’s messy” you shrugged and stopped.
“I don’t care. You know I don’t mind blood” he responded.
“It’s fine”.
“Will it help you feel better?”
“Yeah”
“Then let me” he pushed.
You were not entirely sure what he had in mind, but he seemed pretty eager to help.
“Ok” you conceded.
He wasted no time helping you undress and peppering you with little kisses before settling down to kneel between your legs.
“Oh no no no, you really don’t have to” you began.
“I want to” he said as he lifted your hips up so he could tuck his tusks under you.
You felt his tongue immediately on your clit, the pressure and movements you liked, even better you felt the vibrations from his purring against your clit. He continued, working you over until you were a mewling mess. Once he was satisfied he slipped his tongue between your folds and then pressed into your entrance.
Within minutes you were already close. Between his large tongue giving you a pleasant stretch and the vibrations of his purring. You reached down to pull in his hair, needing to touch him any way you could reach, which only encouraged him more. His tongued was constantly against your g-spot and you enjoyed how every time he seemed to try to explore every inch of you.
He came from a species that did not normally go down, tusks got in the way too much, but once he learned it was an option he made sure to learn how to for you. It was always somewhat of an inelegant affair, his mouth open too far, drooling, no technique, but he did make up for it in sheer enthusiasm.
Your toes curled and you felt the familiar build and release as tingly waves of pleasure diffuse from head to toe. It was nothing intense this time, but he continued well after you finished, making sure beyond a doubt you were sleepy and satisfied.
He finally surfaced, leaning his head against your thigh and looking up at you with such a soft expression, “Feeling better?” he asked.
“For sure” you sighed and affectionately scratched his head.
He got up and went to go clean himself up and returned with clean sheets for the bed after everything. After settling down in bed with you he pulled you up against his chest, your back to him, and put his hands on your tummy, the best hot water bottle for cramps.
You fell asleep easily like that, feeling satisfied and cared for, and happy knowing you could probably swap a few doses of pain medicine for some time with your husband.
(Note: I kept it general, but the husband is from my ongoing Arranged Marriage series in my pinned post!)
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Watch Your Mouth
Dealing with someone talking shit about your man and you stand up for them because you're not about to let someone talk crazy about your man. A/N: I like to imagine this as an office girly scene and you have that one hater ass bitter coworker [Requested by: onliafaze]
Zayne
You could tell you were coming down with a cold and it was going to be a bad one. Zayne just so happened to have the day off and you were struggling to make it through your last shift before your days off. So being the loving boyfriend that he is, he brought you homemade soup and some cold medicine. He even kissed you before leaving not caring that you might get him sick as well. Just another reason to spend the day in bed with you. You sat at your desk with the biggest smile on your face. Suddenly a bitch with a voice like nails on a chalk board decided to insert herself into your bubble.
Hater: If you took better care of yourself your man wouldn’t have to waste his time coming all the way here to bring you soup MC: Weren't you sick last month and your man told you he was going to leave until you were healthy again and proceeded to ignore you for a week? Hater: ..... MC: Just because your man doesn’t care about you doesn’t mean you need to project on me Hater: I’m not projecting! MC: ………Whatever helps you sleep at night miss girl
Once you get home to tell Zayne what happened when he left, him being the sensible person that he is, suggests that maybe your coworker was just in a bad mood.
MC: Don't defend her Zayne: Sorry I meant her man hates her MC: Thank you
Rafayel
Rafayel truly had eyes for you and you only. He cared very little for others feelings you were the one and only exception. He also hated to be touched so when your coworker saw you constantly having a hand on him, when he would come by the office, she thought she’d try her luck. Rafayel immediately looked at her like she smeared the most vile thing known to man on his arm.
Hater: Your man is rude as hell MC: To you. Hater: No he’s just rude MC: To you. Hater: Why just me MC: You’re weird … who grabs on another woman's man right in front of her? You’re weird Hater: You’re rude as hell too you guys are made for each other MC: Cry about it
Rafayel stared at you in admiration while you told him what went down after he left.
Rafayel: Have I ever told you how hot you are when you get serious? MC: Yes all the time
Xavier
“Damn it I left my tea in my car” You had gotten all the way up to your desk when you realized what you were forgetting. On top of that it was cold so you were dreading having to walk in it again. Maybe you could make a cup in the office kitchen, but they only have sugar and you prefer honey; you prefer your tea. “I’ll go grab it for you just stay here and warm up” Xavier said as he appeared next to you with that soft expression he always has when he looks at you. “Thank you Xav you’re so sweet” You handed him your keys and watched as he quickly made his way out of the office before turning and smiling to yourself.
Hater: What is he a dog? Does he do everything for you? MC: ….. You know if your man hates you just say that Hater: M-my man doesn’t hate me w-why would you say that? MC: Look at you stuttering and shit did I hit a nerve? Hater: Whatever MC: Have the day you deserve babes!
Xavier approached you right as your coworker barged past him almost knocking the tea from his hand. He looked back with confusion etched across his face before turning back to you.
Xavier: What happened? MC: She was just admiring the relationship we have Xavier: What really happened? MC: She wanted smoke so I gave her a barbecue
Sylus
Thanks to Sylus wanting to spoil you at all time your office was the most decorated with all new everything and was even professionally designed to be organized and efficient. People loved to come by and admire your office set up. Except for one person who just seems to turn her nose up at you. She pouts for hours on end when Sylus makes his appearance to bring you lunch, flowers or even a ‘just because’ gift when he wants to see you. You ignored this bitter coworker day in and day out because why would you need the kind of negativity in your life? One day though she finally decided to voice her unwanted opinion to you.
Hater: You only have all of that because your man buys you everything MC: Yea … he does … tell your man to work harder Hater: That is so insensitive what if I'm single? MC: I can see why….. Hater: What's that supposed to mean!? MC: You're insufferable I wouldn't date you either
Sylus always found your attitude cute and it was even better when it wasn't directed at him.
Sylus: You said she was insufferable? MC: Somebody had to do it Sylus: and you were the perfect one for the job huh? MC: I was defending you praise me Sylus: I've never been defended before thank you Princess
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads rafayel#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads sylus#lnds#lnds rafayel#lnds zayne#lnds xavier#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#nikaaaaimagine
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A Lot of Time has Passed | Part 7B
Series Masterlist | Masterlist
Season 4 Rafe x Maybank reader
Summary: Beginning at the time jump, the Pogues seemingly succeeded at something, Rafe is struggling with making amends and being a better person. Jus sister left the island after returning from South America. Returning after 18 months with a secret.
A/N: took a page from @whytheylosttheirminds with separating the part into 2. Because it’s a bit of writing. About 3k words each. I wanted to finish this off before S4 P2 begins so it’s finishing this is the last part until it airs.
Word count: 2.9k
Warnings: fluff, bit of angst, smut (oral m receiving, chest riding, p in v riding) death, Luke Maybank
“Can we please talk?”
You give it a second but you can see the desperation in his eyes, “okay, talk.”
He runs a hand through his buzz cut, eyes heavy with guilt. “I’m sorry. I do want to be better. I’m the man of the Cameron family now, and what am I supposed to do when all the women in my life hate me? Fear me? It eats at me. I should’ve stood up for Kie, set an example that Ruthie and Topper’s bullshit isn’t acceptable anymore, never was, I don’t care about that reputation anymore, not like I used to. When I look at V, all I want is to be better. I have no excuse.
He watches you, searching for a sign that you’re listening. You offer him nothing, forcing him to keep talking. “I took you for granted for so long. Used you, kept you a secret because I was scared of what people would think, all because of stupid titles. I knew Topper and Kelce wouldn’t say anything but that’s always what they’d use to try to piss me off when we’d be messing with each other. You always meant something to me and I constantly pushed you away. I hurt you more times than I can count, some of the times worse than others.”
Painful memories flash between you—He’s talking about the time he handcuffed you to his bed during his downward spiral after killing Peterkin, dragging you with him to Barry’s when he needed to hide out, putting you in the middle of gunfire with the police when he got caught. Drugging you alongside Sarah and bringing you on that ship then standing idle why he watched his dad strangle you until you were blue when you got smart with him about murdering Big John. All because he didn’t want to be alone.
“You came to me for protection from your father, and I failed you. You tried to help me, and I pushed you away. But all I want now is to see you happy. You shouldn’t have even forgiven me.”
Tears slip down your face as you reach out, cupping his cheek. “I told you what I thought your problem was, and I was right. You’ve grown without your father’s shadow. Even before I came back, you’d changed. You are the man of the Cameron family now, and you can be the kind of man your father never was. I need you to be all in, Rafe. No more half-measures. V needs you. I need to know we can count on you. Only then can we move forward.”
You grab the sea turtle V left on the bed this morning, unintentionally but great for the point you’re trying to make. “Because what if she was there, what if she could understand all that happened.” You toss it to him. “Think about her Rafe.”
“I promise,” he says, voice cracking. “Forever and always.”
A bittersweet smile spreads across your face. The words that once comforted you in your darkest moments return, anchoring you both.
I’ll protect you, I promise, forever and always.
I’ll be here for you when you need me, I promise, forever and always.
I’ll kick his ass for you, I promise, forever and always.
“I love you, Rafe, and that’s never changing.” You kneel closer, wrapping him in a hug.
“I love you too, Y/N,” he whispers, his voice resolute. “Forever and always.”
╰☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆╮
You look at him, and he smirks. You kiss him on the lips, then his jaw, then his neck. He coos at the feeling. You sit up and pull off your tank top, laying back down. You stare into his eyes intently as you play with the waistline of your shorts. He goes to reach out for you, but you smack his hand away.
“Uh uh, take your clothes off.” “Yes, mam.” He stands up and rids himself of his own pajamas, now standing completely bare in front of you. “Lay.”
He does exactly as you say. You straddle his legs, running a finger down his length to tease him. Kneeling your upper body down, arch your ass into the air, and he smiles down at you. You grab him in your hand, running your thumb over his tip, smearing his precum. You drop a glob of spit down onto him. You lower your head onto him, beginning to bob up and down. He thrusts up into you at the sensation, and you remove your mouth from him.
“Uh uh, I’m in charge tonight, baby.”
He nods his head and throws his hands up in a mock surrender. You begin bobbing again, taking as much of him as you can, gagging on his huge length but taking him nonetheless. You run your hand that's not pumping him up and down his torso, scratching your nails on the way down. You hear his series of grunts and moans and feel the way he'd tense up trying to refrain from thrusting up.
He was getting close, and you could tell by the way he'd twitch in your throat. When his breathing started to hitch, you let him go and watched for his reaction. As he realizes his orgasm was lost, he opens his eyes to see you kneeling in front of him with a big smirk.
“Not fun being treated like shit, right?” You laugh, and he rolls his eyes but eventually laughs quietly. He goes to sit up, and you push him back into the pillow. You want to tease him as much as you can. You made up, but it's nice to give him a little taste of his own medicine.
You start making your way up him, taking a seat right below his chin. You push down into him and moan. You begin to ride his chest. Rafe always loved to eat you out, and you know having him this close to your pussy drives him crazy.
“Let me taste you.” Gripping his head, moving it up closer to your clit. “Tongue out.” He lays his tongue out flat, and you move a little closer to also ride his tongue. Using him like this feels so good since you'd usually let him take control.
Your movements quicken, digging your nails into the back of his head, and you crane his neck. You're getting close, and you don't plan on slowing down. You hold yourself up on the headboard, and your body twitches. Rafe moans into your clit, and your head throws back. You shake as you come, arousal sticking to his chest. You lift up a bit to his mouth, and he cleans up what's left.
You move back down to his waist. Licking the palm of your hand and reaching back to stroke him. His body jolts at the feelings. You line yourself up with him and sink down onto him. Your nails dig into his chest at the stretching. No matter how many times you do this, the feeling always has you shocked.
You settle on him for a second before you lift up and throw yourself back down onto him. Your pace is immediately quick. You bounce like there's no tomorrow. Taking control of him like this is so rewarding. The feeling is amazing, but you need more stimulation. You begin to grind, feeling his pelvic bone rub against you has seeing stars.
“Can I touch?” You nod, and Rafe's hands roam your body. You're driving him crazy tonight, but his touch is soft. Taking every inch of you in. You're an angel sent from heaven to him. You're both close, and you're getting tired. Rafe grabs your hips and keeps you moving. You lean down and begin to kiss him.
“Love you, baby doll. Forever and always.” You lean your forehead on his as you continue your movements. “Fuck, Rafe. I love you more. Forever and always.” You cry out with a high-pitched moan as you release your orgasm. Rafe follows right behind you, gripping your waist hard and letting out a bunch of grunts.
You lift off of Rafe but stay on top of him. You shift down a little, enough to be able to lay your head on his chest. Following the rise and fall of his heavy breaths and listen to his heart race, while he holds you tightly, leaving kisses on the top of your head. You could lay like that forever.
╰☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆╮
The next morning you and Rafe wake up still tangled up with one another. He’s dressed and doesn’t smell like sweat and sex anymore, which means he left at some point. It angers you a bit but you chose to let it go for now. You take a shower and come out of the bathroom to see Rafe flying V around the room like Superman. You’re downstairs having breakfast, really just talking to V trying to make her laugh. That fell into a bit of a silence.
“I took the deal.”
“What?”
“Last night, I took the deal. That’s why I was dressed. I know you noticed but didn’t say anything.”
Taken aback just a bit. You were still very nervous of what Hollis’s intentions were. But you said you’d be supportive no matter what. “Ok, so now what?”
“She sent the info to the investors. The deposit should come out at some point today. And now I’m in contract with them.”
“Did you read the fine print about murder if this thing goes wrong?”
He laughs at the outrageous statements and goes to reach for your hand. “Yes, I read the whole thing, no there isn’t anything about murder. Not sure it’s something they’d want in paper.”
You smile and grip his hand a little harder. You go to say something but he cuts you off, “after yesterday, after our talk, after last night (he winks and you giggle), I thought this was the best step for US.” I want to be taken seriously, I want to be a strong father for V. Then I saw a photo of me and Sarah and I thought about the things I did to her. How she hates my guts, how she looked at me yesterday. I can’t be that person anymore. I’m gonna do the right thing and this is a stepping stone in that. This is for our family. I know you always hated that I’d tried to treat you with gifts and money, but you’re stuck with me and what’s mine is yours. So get used to it.” He takes a deep breath and smiles at you.
You release his hand and walk to the other side of the table to sit on his lap. “Ok Rafe Cameron. I told you I’d be there with you the whole way. Anything you need I’ll help you. I’m not going anywhere this time.” You give him a big kiss on the cheek when your phone starts to vibrate.
You reach over and pick it up and JJ is yelling in the other side. “JJ calm down!”
“Sis I need you here right now. I’m alone and got this letter and I’m freaking out.”
“Okay, OKAY, I’ll come.” You hang up and turn back to Rafe. “Do you think you’d be ok for a few when I go handle something for my brother?
“I mean sure but I thought we’d celebrate.”
“Ok first rule of the “be a better man” journey is to know that when a sibling calls in distress saying they need you. They probably need you. That would’ve saved you a lot of trouble.”
Rafe looks at you with a blank stare. “Ok- go then. I’ve got V.” You’re shocked at the reaction. Not being able to tell if he was mad at it or not was difficult. You didn’t mean to throw in a little jab about the past. It’s just a good lesson for him to learn.
You lean down to give him a kiss. “I love you.” Looking deeply into his eyes. “Forever and always.” He returns back.
╰☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆ ☆☆╮
Meeting JJ at your old house feels strange. He’s standing in the living room, staring at a piece of paper and rubbing his head. He hadn’t explained anything on the phone, which left you uneasy, but seeing his disheveled state makes your anxiety spike.
“J? What’s going on? Where is everyone?” you ask, voice tight with worry.
“They’re out on the boat, taking care of Terrance’s body,” he mutters, barely looking up.
“Terrance? As in Cleo’s Terrance? What happened?”
JJ sighs, exhaustion lining his face. “Cleo got kidnapped. Terrance was involved but didn’t know who the target was. He tried to save her, and it got him killed. I’ll fill you in later, but I need you to read this.”
He hands you the letter. The first line catches your eye: “Master JJ Maybank. Don’t let that go to your head.” You laugh nervously, but JJ doesn’t even crack a smile.
“Genrette’s groundskeeper brought this to me,” he explains. “Said Genrette left it for me.”
The words on the letter blur as you try to piece together its meaning. “I think we need to find dad,” JJ say, your eyes dart back to him.
“Absolutely not. I’m not seeing him,” you snap.
“Good thing it’s not about you,” he counters. “He’s the only one who might have answers to whatever this is.”
JJ’s expression softens, and he nods reluctantly. “You’re right. Sorry. Any idea where he might be?”
“I have a hunch.”
Minutes later, you’re on JJ’s boat, slicing through the water toward Barracuda Mike’s house. When you arrive, Mike is in his yard fidgeting with a go kart, watching the approaching storm clouds.
“Hey, Big B, you know there’s a storm coming, right?” JJ calls out.
“Yeah, I see it,” Mike responds.
You hang back as JJ pleads with Mike for information on your dad’s whereabouts. Moments later, Mike sighs and mutters, “I’ll call you if Luke gets in touch.” Sending you both off to the dock.
JJ sets the phone on speaker as it rings. Luke’s familiar voice comes through, cautious and calculating, until he hears Mike’s dog bark in the background. Realization hits him too late.
“We gotta move,” JJ says, eyes wide. You both sprint back to the house and bang on the door. Mike steps out, irritation creasing his brow.
“Mike, I’ve got a daughter to get home to. Don’t waste my time with this bullshit,” you says, voice cracking under the strain.
“I’m a grandpa, huh?” Luke’s voice drips with smugness as he steps out, a twisted smile on his face. “Didn’t see that coming.”
“Actually, you’re not,” you retort coldly. “She’ll never know you exist.”
Luke’s smirk falters, replaced by a fleeting shadow of disappointment. “That’s no way to talk to your old man,” he says, trying and failing to sound fatherly.
JJ shifts protectively in front of you, confronting Luke about his sudden reappearance and silence. You take a step back to the dock, needing space to process. Pulling out your phone, you FaceTime Rafe and V for a distraction. Rafe’s face lights up with a grin.
“Hey, when are you coming back? I’ve got something to tell you,” he says.
Before you can respond, the sound of sirens fills the air, and you see JJ and Luke sprinting toward the boat.
“Shit,” you mutter, forgetting you’re still on the call. “I gotta go. Bye, V. Rafe, I’ll call you later.”
JJ jumps in the boat with Luke behind him. “Take me home on the way,” you tell JJ firmly as you climb aboard.
Luke glances at you. “So, you’re a mom?” he asks.
“Yes,” you reply flatly, not sparing him a look. “And don’t ask anything about her. You don’t deserve to know her.”
“It’s with that Cameron kid, isn’t it?” Luke chuckles, as if confirming a suspicion. “I always thought that’d happen—the way he used to sneak in and out of your window. And I knew that’s where you’d be when you disappeared. Good for you, little miss new Kook.”
You clench your jaw, holding back a response. As the boat nears your house, you quickly text Rafe: Home. Meet me at the dock.
When you hop off the boat, you wave to JJ as he drives him and Luke off. Rafe and V are already walking down to meet you. You pull them into a tight hug.
“So, what’s up?” you ask, sensing the weight in Rafe’s eyes.
“I’ve been thinking about everything,” Rafe begins. “I’m really sorry for all the shit at the beach. Pogue this, Pogue that. I shouldn’t have put you through that.”
“We’ve talked about this,” you say, tilting your head at him.
“I know,” he continues, “but I need to know we’re good. My dad was a Pogue; that shit doesn’t matter. What matters is I wanna be like him, hardworking and keeping this family together. I want to build things, be better, in my own way. I’m going to patch things up with my sister, and I want you there with me. When the deal with Hollis goes through, I’m keeping a piece for us. For the three of us.”
The thought of the deal makes you pause, the uncertainty gnawing at you. Rafe notices and takes your hand. “Hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll make it work—you and me. I promise.”
He leans in and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. With that reassurance, the three of you head inside, ready to face whatever comes next.
TBC
Taglist:
@maybankslover @eringaitskill @luissa266 @lolll505
@dayyzlol @calaryssia @eg-dr3amer3 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @rafestar @bigbonenative
@writtenbyhollywood @livie4lifestarkeyblyth @leilanizcals
#rafe cameron#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x pogue#outerbanks rafe#rafe obx#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe fluff#rafe outer banks#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe imagine#rafe fic#soft rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#Rafe Cameron x Maybank#rafe x maybank#rafe x y/n
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vampire! reader, grinding, masturbation, izuku has a crush on reader, blood mention and themes.
izuku knew he had a big crush on you.
and its not the fact because of the way you look, but because of the fact that you were a bloodsucking demon. sure, he understands the meaning and importance, but something within him just said ‘i wouldnt mind being bitten.’
its why he even offered in the first place, simply saying ‘its because he wants to understand your quirk better,’ (whats there more to learn? you were a vampire) but mostly because he had the right to know.. and he feels dirty for it. he feels dirty for essentially lying about his reason for you biting him, but he couldnt help it.
it also didnt help when you got a lust, (lust for blood causes a deadly craving, needing four liters of blood to even be satisfied— and once you hit satisfaction, came lust arousal.) that you sheltered yourself from the world. you felt disgusted, but guess what?
izuku was always there.
“so.. how do you want to do this again?” you weakly say, licking your lips constantly to wet them and prepare for regret and his rejection.
“just.. bite me? i guess?” he smiled, tilting his head to the side and nodding. “its okay, you dont have to do this if you dont want to.” you nod to his words, your jaw opens and your fangs sink into his supple skin.
he whimpered for a second, a hand on your hip and hes biting himself to keep quiet… fuck he was a bad friend, only thinking of the sexual aspect, not the fact he actually wanted to help you. and he only volunteered because he had the amount you could survive off of for at least three days without regressing. he feels your hips move, a surprise look on his face and hes trying so hard not to moan your name. “h—hey..” you don’t respond, fangs still in his neck and hes trying to hold your hips, but you had stronger hips. and after maybe thirty minutes… you were fine.
“t—thank you,” you praise, eyes lidded and hazy.
“no problem..” he blushed, immediately taking off from your room. there was a problem— the fact that he just got hard from you sinking teeth into his flesh. it doesnt even sound right, him into something sadistic like this? it sounded better in his head than outloud.
but he couldnt help himself to not jerk himself off to the thought, his mind racing back to the moment you even looked his ways.. breathed his air. “fuck..” he groans out, pressing himself on the other side of his door and tugging his cock numb. “my god..” he whispered, leaning to spit on his cock and press two fingers against the wounds. “fuck— you fucking dirty slut.” he felt weird calling you that.. but in some regard, you were.. you had to know he was in love with you, right?
he plays with the slit of his tip, eyes rolling and a guttural moan ripples through his voice.
he pressed harder, the pain ripples through his body and sends shocks to his chest and his balls at that. “youre so damn nasty,” he says, thinking to himself about how you could be on your knees like this, looking up through your eyelashes, your pupils slit and looking at him like he could be potentially prey—
“young midoriya, you in there?” a familiar voice— fuck, it was almight. he scatters to pull his sweats up and tie them, fixing himself and shouting a ‘be there in a sec!’
#dvorahasks#izuku x black!reader#izuku midoria x reader#izuku smut#mha izuku#izuku x reader#bnha izuku#izuku mydoria#izuku midoriya#midoriyaizuku#mha midoriya#midoriya x reader#bnha midoriya#deku x black! reader#deku x reader#mha deku
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Let me start off by saying that I absolutely love your posts. And ur energy really made me want to embody that for myself. I hope u can help with some issues that's I've been facing.
I've been in this community for an odd 4 years and u can say that I've consumed every type of information. I know all about the law. When I start to apply the law I get really discouraged waking up in the same fucking reality and when shit doesn't change instantly. That sets me off on a cycle that I can't seem to get out of.
It's been a nightmare with me being so anxious and desperate all the time. Also some things that I've done hurt my parents real bad, but I did it with the intention of leaving this place the next day. And by bad I mean constantly lying to them abt going to clg and they finding out and all of the shit that follows after that. But yeah I admit I wasn't that great of a daughter. So now that I'm trying to manifest a better life for myself, I feel guilty and feel like all I'm doing is just escaping.
I don't know how to deal with my emotions but I want out of here immediately cause it's gotten really bad and I don't even feel like living anymore.
What do I do to leave here immediately? How do I trust that I am a god and that only what I want will happen?
Sorry for all that rant. Just needed to get it out.
hi love, i’m sorry you’re going through this, circumstances can get so shitty sometimes, trust me, i know.
And you might not like the answer, but you have to live in imagination, give yourself your desires in the 4d, give yourself the success of waking up with your desires in the 4d, give it all to yourself in imagination and the 3d will always follow.
You’re allowed to have your emotions, it won’t mess up your progress if you scream, cry, get frustrated etc, you’re allowed to feel discouraged but don’t let that stop you, please don’t let it stop you because it will be so worth it when you have the life of your dreams after realising how easy it is.
live in the 4d now, who’s to say you woke up with nothing? who’s to say you’re a bad daughter? who’s to say you haven’t manifested much? are you resonating with that reality because the 3d said so? screw the 3d!! you have your desires and always have done 💞💞
#salemlunaa#salemsasks#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting#permashifting#loa#law of assumption#void state#success story#the void#void concept
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can you maybe do a gambit x fem!reader when the reader is sick? I got covid rn and I love ur stories
Remy LeBeau x Sick!Reader
How is Remy when you are sick
When you're feeling under the weather, Remy LeBeau becomes your devoted caretaker, taking it upon himself to bring warmth and comfort into your home, despite his usual laid-back demeanor.
Remy is my beloved, thank you for this request. I hope you like it!
- The moment Remy realizes you’re feeling under the weather, he drops everything to be by your side. You barely need to ask him for help—he's already pulling out blankets, fluffing pillows, and making sure you're as comfortable as possible. Despite his usual carefree nature, he’s immediately serious and focused when it comes to taking care of you.
- Remy insists on bringing you everything you could possibly need, from medicine to warm tea. He remembers every little detail you've ever mentioned about what helps you feel better and makes sure to include all of them. When he can’t find what he’s looking for, he’ll go out of his way to get it, even if it means driving across town.
- One of Remy's biggest strengths is his ability to make you laugh, and he brings out all his best jokes and impressions to lift your spirits. He can’t stand seeing you look so miserable, so he tries his hardest to distract you with his endless charm and humor. His Cajun accent seems to thicken whenever he tells a story, and he knows exactly how to use it to make you smile, even through your sniffles.
- Though Remy isn’t the best chef, he tries his hand at cooking your favorite comfort foods. He’ll follow recipes carefully, but there’s always a hint of his playful side in the kitchen, like sneaking in a dash of extra spice or cracking a joke while he stirs a pot. He’s surprisingly attentive, watching closely to see if his cooking lifts your mood, and he’s secretly thrilled if you enjoy even a single bite.
- Remy is endlessly attentive, always checking if you need more blankets, another glass of water, or a different type of tea. His nurturing side, rarely seen by others, shines through in small gestures. He doesn’t just sit around either; he’s constantly on his feet, looking for ways to help or checking the temperature to ensure you’re comfortable. His attentiveness makes you feel cherished and cared for, like there’s nothing more important to him than seeing you get well.
- He’ll sit beside you on the bed or couch, reading aloud from a book or comic, trying to distract you from how sick you feel. He reads in a variety of silly voices, especially for the characters, getting into it with exaggerated gestures and facial expressions. His storytelling pulls you into another world, making you forget about your discomfort for a little while.
- Remy’s touch is always gentle when you’re feeling sick. Normally, he’s a flirt, playful and mischievous, but he knows exactly when to dial it down and be comforting. He’ll hold your hand, gently rub your back, or press a soft kiss to your forehead. His touch is warm and reassuring, and you feel a deep sense of safety and love with him by your side.
- To help you sleep better, Remy hums a soft, soothing tune in that low, rich voice of his. It’s a lullaby he remembers from his childhood, sung to him by his mother, and he hums it gently, hoping it will bring you comfort too. The melody is soft and tender, calming your racing mind and lulling you into a restful sleep.
- Remy is incredibly patient with you, especially when you’re feeling irritable or uncomfortable. He understands that being sick makes you feel vulnerable, and he’s more than willing to handle any grumpiness or complaints. If you snap at him in a moment of frustration, he just gives you a warm smile and brushes it off, assuring you that he knows you’re just not feeling well.
- Every so often, Remy will surprise you with a small gift to lift your spirits—a flower he found, a funny little trinket, or even a card he made himself. His gifts are never extravagant, but they’re full of thought and care. Each one reminds you of his affection and makes you feel like the luckiest person in the world to have someone who goes to such lengths just to make you smile.
- As you start to feel better, Remy teases you lightly, saying that he must be an incredible nurse if you’re already on the mend. He’ll exaggerate his own heroic efforts, making you laugh as he recounts the dramatic lengths he went to just to ensure your comfort. His humor is infectious, making the lingering traces of your illness feel far less significant.
- When you’re finally able to sit up and move around, Remy insists on celebrating your “recovery” with something special, like a picnic in a park or a cozy night in with your favorite movies. He’s as energetic as ever, eager to make up for the days when you were stuck in bed. His excitement is contagious, and it makes you feel like your health is something to celebrate.
- Even after you’re fully recovered, Remy keeps an extra-close eye on you, still checking in with the same attentive care he showed while you were sick. He can’t help it; you’re too important to him. Any little sniffle has him on alert, ready to swoop in and care for you at a moment’s notice. His devotion doesn’t waver, and you know you’ll always have a steady, loving presence by your side in Remy.
#marvel headcanons#marvel x reader#marvel#marvel headcanon#marvel imagines#marvel imagine#x men#x men headcanons#x men headcanon#x men x reader#x men imagines#x men imagine#x reader#remy lebeau x reader#remy lebeau#remy lebeau headcanon#remy lebeau imagine#gambit x reader#gambit headcanons#gambit imagine#comics
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Taking care of you when you’re sick 🤧
Pairing(s): Characters x Gn!sick!Reader (except for Reyna’s)
Character(s): Percy, Annabeth, Grover,Nico, Leo, Frank, Hazel, Jason, Piper, Reyna (platonic)
Me rn:
Percy Jackson
Honestly great at it and it’s honestly not expected but also sort of expected
Hard to explain
But it’s likely that he just brings you back to the apartment he lives in with sally, Paul, and ofc Estelle because even though he sort of doesn’t want to admit it, he needs help
So (imagining you’re super sick) even if you’re a stubborn one, it’s too embarrassing to act up in front of Sally
Someone who is so caring that she makes soup just for you, checks in on you, gives you extra blankets in case, honestly anything really
This transformed more into a Sally taking care of you than Percy but I’m getting there
One day Sally has to go out for an errand and takes Estelle with her, Paul went off to work or something
Leaving you two alone and you basically a burden/j
Also… free to complain all you want
Now if you’re stubborn and make it difficult for him he will fr mock you
Literally why are you being this way when Estelle behaves way better
And she’s a baby
Eventually though, cmon now
Just be willing and maybe he’ll kiss you
As if he isn’t doing so while you doze off on your meds
I’d give him a solid 6/10, not because he’s not my fav character or anything
Of course not
Annabeth Chase
Ideal in theory not in practice
She knows everything there is to know- hell, if she didn’t after years of being a demigod and suffering from injuries then strike me down
Well- no actually I take that back
Annabeth doesn’t actually know a lot aside from when she gets sick
Which happens rarely and goes away as quick as it comes
So now she’s here with you all bundled up-
Also, if you try to be stubborn and act like a big baby, she’s having none of it
You will rest and you will eat to consume your meds
End of story
I don’t make the rules 😭
She will, however, be pleased if you’re happy to comply and get you back to good asap
Although she does bumble a bit at the start- she eventually learns quickly
Which is to be expected
When she first started to struggle with what do to she’s too prideful to ask for help so she settles on asking you how to do well by you
Then she realizes how stupid (or unwise) it was to act that way and decides to just ask any of the Apollo kids she knows won’t tease her
Which is more than half
Only because she knew you’d get worse
I’d give her a solid 7/10
It’s not any longer because she gets to business and gets you healed pretty quick so 🤷
Grover Underwood
I’d say he’s pretty decent at taking care of you too
I mean he probably knows a lot about herbs and stuff that could help you alongside modern medicine that you’re likely taking
Plus when you can’t sleep for whatever reason (*cough*cough* congestion*cough*) he’ll obviously put that humidifier on but also play you a song
Either to help with sleep or just make you feel better
Really depends
Also we all know he’s a saytr
So he’s likely taking care of you despite needing to be elsewhere
And if that duty calls quickly? He feels SO bad 😭 I’m not even exaggerating
He’ll apologize ten times over and try to make up for it
Instead of getting your sleep and rest it just results in you spending that time reassuring Grover
Which, in your opinion, is a time well spent
But not to Grover
Anyways if you’re reluctant to let him take care of you then he’s constantly hassling you to stay resting
Literally got to the point where campers would just see you running by, and see Grover not too behind
Or it’d be you sitting somewhere and Grover trying to convince you why going back would be a good idea
Now, if you’re more than happy to rest and take your medicine?
Absolute angel in Grover’s eyes
Literally makes his life 10000x easier
Him being him, he just ends up helping you heal and recover faster than you normally would’ve otherwise
So honestly? You can try to be stubborn all you want but it’s only going to make you suffer 😭
Not much for him but that’s because besides his nervous energy, he’s probably the best here in terms of actually helping you become unsick
Nico Di Angelo
He’ll try his best to help you out 😭
Which he does a pretty decent job at, all he does is rely on books and what he’s heard from others
So it’s time for Nico to rawdog helping you out because frankly, he’s always been the opposite of a normal person
So, why would he ever get sick?
(Bluds body temperature is probably colder than the Antarctic)
He does the basics like making you drink medicine for your symptoms (e.g. cough, sore throat) and making you soup to the best of his capabilities
If you’re the type of person to be whiny and like to be cared after then he’d sort of tease you for it in his strange little way
Now, if you’re super stubborn and insist on him not helping you-
He takes it personally
Like I’m not even joking
He’ll just side eye you
You’re acting like you weren’t just dying of suffocation before he put the humidifier on a few seconds ago
And he lets that known
So, he asks why you’re being so stubborn and let him spoon feed you‼️
(Only because you ended up being bundled in a blanket burrito and Nico didn’t want to go through putting you in one again afterwards)
Too much hassle
Also applies if you’re being stubborn and he has to forcibly feed you)
He’s honestly getting annoyed at this point so you give him a proposition
You’ll let him take care of you if he gives you cuddles
Now, normally Nico would be so done but he couldn’t resist
So now here you both are underneath the covers
But then Nico ruins it
“Yknow I was gonna cuddle you regardless” (of it you complied or not)
6/10 just for that last comment
(Doing an actual story, will link HERE)
Leo Valdez
Someone please help him
Nah just kidding
Leo is definitely way better with machines than with humans
That’s a fact
But he knew his mom long enough to know the basics of everything
I don’t make the rules, that woman definitely taught him everything there is to know
So here you are on the bed of your room as you hear Leo’s racket going on in the kitchen
Emmie and Jo went out and took a few residents with them, including one of your favorite residents:
Georgina
The ones that stayed behind were either asleep or bundled away under the covers of their beds
(Ignoring those doing chores)
Especially since it was now winter, despite the waystations warmth, a chill seemed to have made it way inside.
Eventually Leo makes his way back up and set down a tray
It had a soup you learned to become familiar with
It was Caldo de Res
So obviously you gobbled that shit up like all the other Mexican foods Leo had made before
Eventually Leo makes you take your medicine because even though he’s all about playing around and stuff, he still likes to care for you
Now, because it’s likely snowing, Leo had to resist and refuse to let you out
You’re already sick, it could get so much worse
But you didn’t listen
Hence you running around like a maniac outside the station yelling as Leo chases you
Afterwards he scolds you but when you point out that fact that he was laughing when he was chasing after you- he shuts up real quick
Leo does realize how boring it probably is for you though so after going back inside he tries to be a source of entertainment for you
He tries to find board games and he luckily does
Which ends with you two moving to the living room (?) or common area
By the time emmie and the other residents return, the tower you built while playing Jenga was sky high and skinny asf
Then Leo crashed it and you both obviously yelled at it
Then Leo got told off for distracting you from resting (although it was done kindly)
Later after dinner, Leo snuck into your room at night and once again began to try to rid you of your boredom
you two began giggling and gossiping in the middle of the night
Then went to bed when someone knocked as kindly asked for you two to quiet down
Leo was embarrassed 💀
Frank Zhang
Surprisingly good at taking care of you
Only saying it’s surprising because I’ve never considered it before
He obviously takes care of your basic needs like meds and just covers you needing anything else like rest or water
If you’re stubborn to actually try to get better- then he’s definitely worried but also confused
Why are you acting this way and also, please just let him help you
Which is honestly sad because even if he’d like to stay by your side for more than a few hours- he really isn’t able to due to praetor duties
I mean it’s a surprise you got a pass on your chores/ duties depending on what your role is
Will definitely feel terrible for having to leave to go do his job but eventually finds someone trusted to look after you
Likely someone indebted to him
(He’d feel a bit sorry for whoever it is if you’re particularly resistful)
Let’s say you actually get sick and there’s no outside forces that can interfere
Frank is a pretty top notch- although a bit anxious - doctor
Likely learned a lot about the healing aspect of Apollo back when being his kid was what Frank wanted most
So he knows a lot from that and is really attentive
After giving you some medicine you had seemingly been knocked out cold so it was natural for Frank to turn down the lights
Before he left the room he decided to give you a kiss on the cheek
You were actually still awake and despite your boyfriends more than accommodating care-
You will be teasing him tomorrow using this instance
Overall I’d give Frank a 9/10
‘He is the worlds most perfect man’
Hazel Levesque
Have you seen her lead the other Roman’s as praetor and even before then ? Yea she’s getting you bundled up and fed
No ifs or buts
This is how she is overall but if you try being stubborn she genuinely doesn’t see why you would be
Like why wouldn’t you want to get better??
Also please don’t sneak out to the weaponry or something because she literally CANT give you special treatment 😭
Despite her seemingly tough demeanor, she really is a fool for you
Not actually- but miss girl is smitten with you
So she sort of takes it easy, occasionally finding her voice and scolding you as lightly as she can
She tries her best to treat you but eventually gets advice and help from others in camp who know more than she does
She ofc knows the basics: consume vitamin c, rest, drink medicine, etc
But she can’t be too sure
I also honestly think she’s way better than Nico, because I didn’t include it but he definitely got some wayward damned spirit to help him out
But not her
Not that that’s bad, but she’s definitely more capable
I do think she bumbled a bit
She had ordered some other campers who specialized in healing to help her out
Before then, she had been taking care of you herself
So when they get there and see her sort of make shift stuff- she’s a bit embarrassed
Yknow, if the blush on her cheeks are anything to go by
Because we’ve already established that she’s better than Nico, I’ll give her a 8/10
Because she’s really good at taking care of you, really caring overall
But 🤷
Jason Grace
Best way to say how he is at taking care of you is mediocre
He isn’t constantly attentive but just the right amount that you feel like it’s enough
Esprit he’s busy with the school he’s attending- then he’ll have to sneak out just to see you and take care of you
If school isn’t in session then he’s more than happy to go over and take care of things for you
Like doing chores, cooking food and actually taking care of you
Doesn’t mind all that much if you try to resist being treated because it’s likely that he’s encountered people who are WAY worse
Ik this is him supposed to be taking care of you but I think it’d be so funny that you’re just constantly in and out of consciousness that you only remember small snippets
In which Jason has to fill in for you and all you remember is Jason in the distance
Pretty out of place but the idea of it is so funny to me 😭
Imagine being so kind and your s/o not remembering any of it
You’d still believe him though, why should you?
Also I said it’s mid but like mid leaning good so I’ll give him a 6/10
Not that he was terrible or anything but just because I feel like it suits him
Idk 😭
Piper Mcclean
THE BEST IM NOT EXAGGERATING
The medicine- eating- cooking part is alright
It isn’t much different from the others averages and not much to take note of in all honesty
But what is really the cherry on top is when after having a mind splitting headache- you’ve finally managed to fall asleep
Being a demigod and all- you immediately hear when Piper enters the room
Each creak the floor board gives continued until Piper has reached the end of the bed
Not that it’s disturbing you in anyway
So there you are snuggled in bed and you feel a weight added next to you where the bed is pushing down
You feel hands massaging your scalp and Piper -knowing how you’ve suffered with head pain- starts to sing for you
It isn’t unknown or unheard of to sing for someone to heal (demigod or non demigod wise)
So when you immediately start to feel better you can feel your would ascending into the heavens
Not actually- because that’d be the opposite affect of the singing but you get what I’m going for
Anyway aside from that she’s really attentive and sweet but I just had that idea come to me strongly idk why
Overall id rate her a 7/10
That’s because her singing is divine but her caring aspect is mediocre
Reyna Ramírez-Arellano x F!Reader (for the first half)
Literally legendary at taking care of you
Although she is a bit of a dictator when it comes to you being slippery and running off- it’s still pretty great
She was praetor for how long now? Yea a while so she was bound to have learned some things and after joing the hunters it’s only more reason to
Which if you’re a hunter and sick (only confusing but let’s go with it) you need to get your health back up to be in optimal fighting condition so theres literally no room for being stubborn
You need to get well soon and that’s an order basically
So Reyna will bundle you up, (though seeing as you’re more than happy to be cooperative) its only done to make you warm
(Gn! Reader but still platonic)
Now if this is while Reyna is praetor then she’s still enforced this strict persona
And seeing as she’s here taking care of you-
That’s only more reason to
Unfortunately she won’t really have time (seeing that being praetor is really unsustainable long term with the loss of sleep and sleep schedule changes)
But when she does her presence is soothing and likely the only reason you were able to actually get well pretty fast
I don’t have much besides she knows what she’s doing (likely has gotten stupid colds form stress) and is really serious about it
Would give her a 9.5/10 but I’ll change it to a 10/10 because of how fast you recover
-
A/n: req was originally only asking for Nico but I said why not do the other 9
#fanfic#gn reader#male reader#fluff#fanfic fluff#female reader#fluff headcanons#percy jackson x fem!reader#percy jackson x reader#jason x reader#jason grace x reader#leo valdez x female reader#leo valdez x male reader#leo valdez fluff#leo valdez pjo#leo valdez x reader#pjo leo#percy x male reader#percy x reader#frank zhang x reader#frank zhang#hazel x reader#hazel levesque#annabeth chase#annabeth pjo#piper mclean#piper pjo#nico di angelo x male reader#nico di angelo x reader#reyna x reader
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Uncontrolled Chaos: Chapter 7
Notes: Shadow is a butthole… but he’s also going through a lot.
Summary: Sonic tries to get to know this new Shadow. Little does he know that his work is cut out for him.
Chapter Select!
Support my Ao3!
Start:
Tails leaves not too long after their initial conversation, wanting to get started on his research as soon as possible. He’ll likely need Shadow over to help eventually, but for now? Shadow needs to rest and regain his strength. It’s possible his Chaos Energy will be needed for any of this to work, so he needs to replenish as much as possible.
So Shadow stays in his home to rest, Sonic agreeing to stay as well and keep an eye on him. Shadow is certainly tired and understands that they want to keep a him under close surveillance, so he doesn’t pitch a fit over it. What does annoy him, however, is the constant feeling of emerald eyes latched onto him.
He’s constantly being observed, stared at by that blue faker’s fake. It’s getting old. And even as he lays on his couch with his eyes shut trying to rest, he knows if he opens his eyes, he’ll find emerald still watching. Still waiting..
So he doesn’t open his eyes.
Instead, he just gives a huff and gruffs out, “If you’re going to stare, at least get whatever it is you have in your system out.”
This Sonic has been so affected by all of this. So stressed and worried. It’s obvious there’s more to him than he’s telling. And Shadow is getting tired of pretending he hasn’t noticed.
He hears Sonic move after a moment, the blue hedgehog shuffling closer now, Shadow peeking his eyes open to watch him.
Sonic looks at the couch Shadow lays on, thinking better of sitting on it with him after a pause and moving to the loveseat To the left of him instead. He sighs heavy when he sits, forcing his moving body to finally sit still. He leans forward, his elbows rested on his knees with his hands dangling between them and his eyes settling right back on Shadow.
Shadow just looks back at him, eventually quirking a brow as if to prod him to speak.
“Right..,” Sonic says after a moment, a little nervous but friendly smile on his muzzle, “Okay, so—.. I guess what’s buggin’ me is I… don’t know anything about you.”
“Mm..,” Shadow hums, closing his eyes once more and facing his head towards the ceiling again from where he lays, “What’s so wrong with that??”
“Well, multiple things really,” Sonic answers, a breathy chuckle coming from him, “For one, I’d like to know what sort of life this universe’s Shadow just dropped himself into the middle of..”
“He’s safe,” Shadow assures, opening his eyes again to look back to Sonic and show he means it, “He’s with friends.. or the closest things he has to them.”
“See— I like when you say he’s safe, but then you follow it up with stuff like that, and it worries me,” Sonic’s smile becomes a bit uneasy, rubbing his gloved hands together as a nervous tick.
Shadow groans a bit at this, his own hands resting on his stomach, the bandage still in place even though Shadow is fairly certain it’s no longer needed.
“It’s-… complicated,” Shadow tries, motioning a hand in the air above him before resting it on his head over his eyes, “But he’s being taken care of. The people who will find him will make sure he’s alright, and they most likely will figure out pretty quickly that he doesn’t belong with them.”
Sonic nods a bit at this, looking down at the ground in a pondering sort of way before lifting his eyes again to Shadow.
“What-… what is your life like..? Over there??”
Shadow huffs at that, a small, mirthful smirk growing on his lips as he grumbles, “Tragic.”
Sonic instantly frowns at this, brows knitting up as he scoots a bit closer to the edge of his seat, “What do you—“
“I don’t mean he’s gonna be miserable,” Shadow clarifies with an annoyed huff, “He’ll be fine. I have simply lived through quite a lot in my time..”
“My Shadow has too..,” Sonic points out quietly— not sure if it’s the same as this Shadow’s trauma, but it’s certainly nothing to scoff at or dismiss.
“Seems that’s my lot in every universe,” Shadow grumbles, lifting his hand from his eyes and looking at the ceiling again.
“You’re not very optimistic, huh??” Sonic says with a sideways smirk, tilting his head at the ebony hedgehog.
“I’m realistic,” Shadow clarifies with insult in his tone, “And realistically? I’m forced to bear the burden of many troubles and large responsibilities.. and be haunted by them for eternity.”
“Sheesh,” Sonic’s eyes roll with a chuckle, “Melodramatic much??”
Shadow turns his head to Sonic at this, glaring at him now in offense, “I am not melodramatic. You don’t know the shit I’ve been through—“
“Woah, woah- easy, Tiger..,” Sonic giggles out awkwardly, holding his hands up to try and chill Shadow out some, “Wasn’t trying to get you worked up… it’s just.. weird seeing you like this.”
Shadow’s brows furrow at that, “Like what??”
Sonic motions a hand to all of Shadow before shrugging and, “That. All grumpy and doom and gloom and just… angry.“
“I’m not angry,” Shadow growls, the only response he gets in return being Sonic quirking a brow at him in a silent ‘oh really??’
Shadow huffs. Looks back to the ceiling with his arms crossed a bit tighter over his chest, “I’m frustrated. It’s different.”
“Why are you frustrated??”
“Oh gee, let’s recap, shall we?? I have been thrown into a familiar yet unfamiliar environment, woke up to my personal space being invaded and feeling severe exhaustion all over. Then I find out I’m stuck in some damn universe where I’m apparently some sort of soft, pathetic excuse of the Ultimate Lifeform—“
“Hey! Shadow is not—“
“The fate of myself and multiple worlds is potentially now in the hands of a child. And instead of doing anything productive to help, I’m having to lay here and rest— which I can’t even do because a certain insolent, annoying hedgehog won’t leave me be.”
Shadow’s eyes find Sonic’s again, glaring with a grit in his teeth at the blue hedgehog—
But instead of finding his rival smirking back with an equal glare as he usually would.. he finds Sonic frowning.
Knitted brows and parted lips with the most upset expression Shadow thinks he’s ever put on Sonic’s face. It makes Shadow stumble a bit in his annoyance for this hedgehog, but he stands his ground. His arms stay crossed and his glare remains.
Sonic stares a moment, his ears flattened to his quills before he eventually looks away with a small frown.
Shadow doesn’t feel guilty. He doesn’t.
“Look..,” Sonic says quietly after a pause, “I’m-.. real sorry all this is happening.”
It’s not Sonic’s fault.
“I’ll just.. I’ll let you be. If you need anything, I’ll be around.”
Sonic stands then, Shadow watching him in silence. He doesn’t stop him. His voice feels like it’s suddenly caught in his throat. He wants to say something. Apologize for his childish behavior. Tell him he doesn’t blame him for this.
But he doesn’t.
Sonic exits the room and Shadow releases a long, heavy sigh as his hand lifts once again to rest over his closed eyes.
He doesn’t know why he’s being extra moody.. and even worse, he doesn’t know why Sonic isn’t bantering him like he typically would. It’s throwing off their whole.. whatever you would call it—rivalry??? Dynamic?? Either way, Shadow doesn’t like how it makes him feel..
He’s already feeling shitty as is. It’s his fault any of this is even happening, and all because he was reckless with Chaos Energy. He should’ve known better. He should’ve thought before he acted.
He’s making that mistake a lot lately, it seems..
He’s already been the cause of mass destruction more times than he’d like to admit.. he can’t handle being the cause of it again..
He has to fix this.
“…Fuck.”
#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#sonadow#fanfiction#UC Series#my writing#my fanfiction#series#sonadow fanfiction#sth#slow burn
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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!
wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end
#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh#some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2#recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person#and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety#like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that#my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms#UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child#so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had#a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time#which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it#and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#stacy warner
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"why did Zuko's memories portray Azula Like That? Is he an unreliable narrator? do the authors hate younger sisters"
Azula was openly Ozai's favorite, and even at that age she had enough political savvy to know that she can functionally do no wrong; the only time anyone expresses any kind of open disapproval of her at all is when her mother tells her off or complains about it. A rich child of that age who is also the favored daughter of one of the most powerful men in the country (and as Iroh doesn't seem to have much interest in politicking at all, Ozai likely had more political power than Iroh ever did), she could get away with pretty much anything she felt like doing, and she knew it
the most significant factor being, in addition to that, that she is emulating everything Ozai says and does; even if she doesn't BELIEVE it herself (and based on her other statements and actions at times when she doesn't have anything to gain by toeing the party line, she probably does), that is still going to color her world view and personal decisions
so, assuming Zuko's memories ARE accurate (and the show doesn't really do unreliable narrator that much), its pretty clear why Azula is Like That. It's because she's the openly favored child of a notoriously violent and cruel tyrant, and already a pampered child of the most powerful family in a country that reveres power and ferocity above anything else, and she is actively imitating that violent and cruel tyrant.
Given that we have little reason to believe anyone ever disciplined her in any shape or form beyond Ozai expressing disapproval of her actions (and its quite possible he's never really done that either), her behavior isn't surprising at all; if anything she should be significantly worse.
#according to family legend when i was a newborn my sister immediately tried to smother me in my sleep#so maybe this kind of infighting among children is just normalized for me?#like i kind of feel that siblings NOT constantly being at each other's throats is highly atypical#but again going by what i've seen in families in general is that this sort of rivalry is the sort of thing that tempers out of time#with the whole 'children are cruel because they have no concept that other people have feelings that matter'#so when you mature and get a better grasp on that sort of thing you see less of it#again in my family we went from my siblings essentially torturing me continously to#tolerating each other's existences basically#so that ALSO pans out with what we see with Azula and her going from taunting her brother over ozai apparently going to kill him#to her genuinely trying to help him in her own weird way#though still doing it in a way that she'll end up in a favorable position#though that might say less about Azula herself#and that's just how the Fire Nation royal court rolls#if family members murdering each other for power ISN'T standard operating procedure in the FN#i'd be REALLY surprised#queued
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things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs
like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out’ but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something
#her pain doesn’t seem to be too bad now that she’s got pain relief so idk what’s stopping her from sleeping#she won’t even lie down unless i’m sitting next to her. she just sits there staring out the window#her pupils are also taking up her entire eyes and have been all day#that’ll be a side effect of the medication and maybe the lack of sleep? but it won’t be making her feel any better#she can probably barely see at this point#like imagine you’ve been awake for 2 days after surgery and you’re in a lot of pain and haven’t eaten since before surgery#and are also on strong painkillers. and you also have no idea what’s wrong with you or why everyone’s doing things that hurt you#bruh your brain would be COOKED. there’s no way she has any idea what’s going on rn but she’s clearly feeling terrible#personal#like i think she’ll be ok in the long-term but she’s gotta somehow get through all these immediate issues#last time something like this happened she stopped drinking and never started again#not eating or sleeping don’t have workarounds as simple as putting water in her food#it really doesn’t help that there’s so much other shit going on rn#i’m doing a whole bunch of stuff with my phone and computer that’s taking a lot of work#but also my sister’s going on a long overseas trip that she’s leaving for tomorrow#so the combo of dad and sister coming and going constantly and also like 6 random deliveries for tech stuff in the last 2 days—#has the dogs really wound up. so georgie’s been howling at absolutely everything#and it’s rainy so my clothes aren’t trying and they’re hanging on a rack hooked on the hallway door so the door can’t close#which puts one less door between my room and the dogs so they’re waking me up every time anything happens#and i sleep during the day so that’s ALL THE TIME. i’ve had like 8 hrs of sleep between the last two afternoons#my sister always has so much random life stuff she wants to talk about and was getting really annoyed that i wasn’t very receptive#like ‘im about to go away for 3 months’ sorry i know its a big thing but i can’t just reschedule peach’s medical emergency
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Finally finished sweet tooth s3. Having incredibly mixed feelings
#love the show. love it a lot. about to be a bitch in the tags anyways#it was. so so messy. they needed another season so bad. the alaska trip took up so much of the comics#and that was with the previously established cast#in the show they introduced a million new characters. gave us no time to get to know them before they were thrown head first into the plot#and condensed an arc that was almost half of the comics into the span of like 5 episodes#my boy singh. oh how they massacred by boy#i mean. okay. in the context of the show the arc wasn't horrible for him.#but i think his survival in the comic and his dedication of his life to making up for the mistakes of his past by helping people and hybrids#would've been so much more powerful than his random self sacrifice at the end of the show.#bc honestly it just seems like another impulsive act in his moral flip flop he'd been having for the last few episodes#rather than active choice to be better#and honestly i wanted to see his delusional paranoid religious breakdown from the comics put to screen so bad#it would've been great#i do like that he turned against zhang the second she started trying to talk about rani. that shit slapped#the several fake outs about Jepp's death were so stupid and unnecessary and repetitive#why are you baiting everyone. you're going to piss off the hardcore comic fans waiting for his death and confuse the show fans#either commit to killing him or stop pretending like you're brave enough to do it#why did they flip back so hard into the mystical vaguely eco fascist backstory and outcome of the comic#after spending two seasons trying to build a more scientific and less 'humanity must end' story for two seasons straight#they tried to make it seem less 'humanity must die' again at the end by ending the virus#which i guess might've been the best outcome available considering the source material and the limitations of it's ending#but idk. it felt weird#the writing this season was so much less subtle. it felt like the characters were constantly monologing directly at the camera#nothing could be left unsaid everyone had to say exactly what they meant#and it was all moral lessons the writers were trying to feed directly to the audience#i feel like they wrote themselves into a corner at the end of the last season#and they expected to have at least one more season to write themselves out of it before the ending#and if not. if this was the plan since the beginning. literally what. WHAT.#can not imagine the people who wrote the last two seasons sitting down and writing this#it won't let me add more tags but i have more thoughts. many more. tumblr is silencing me for speaking the truth /j
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wait ok one thing i learned from my singing teacher that may or may not be relevant to other people with mountains of self-doubt and anxiety like i have. is that just because something is easy to do doesn't mean it's bad
also, you don't have to push yourself out of your comfort zone constantly. you have to find your limits first and make sure you're comfortable there - find out what your comfort zone even IS - and only then try to step out. if you're in constant survival mode while trying something new or while being creative, you will just associate these things with having a bad time, so what's the point?
we live in a culture that really encourages pushing yourself and constantly getting better, but you can't grow without roots, and you can't run with no legs to stand on. you need to have a sturdy base of confidence and joy to start from and go back to as needed
sometimes trying hard can be to your detriment. it's okay to do easy things for a bit. it might be your best work yet, even if just because you simply felt better doing it. and i think you're gonna be surprised by what you can achieve when you do something just because you like it, with no real goal in mind
#idk if it works with every field and every goal. but it's worth sharing for some people regardless i think#i can say from experience i got leagues better in singing once i dropped the idea that i have to try hard#the more fun I'm having and the lighter i feel the better i sing. so. i dunno. worth applying in other areas of life as well maybe#I'm constantly surprised by what I'm doing and it's always bc i expect things to be much harder#and it's never a point of putting more effort! it's always a matter of simply finding a way that works#so! yeah these are my 2 cents for you today. or ig my teacher's 2 cents passed on through me#hope this might help at least one person 🫡 that'd be cool
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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#hey quick question what do you do when you’re in the wrong#and you know you’re in the wrong#but your feelings are still hurt#what the fuck do you do with that#I feel like i emotionally stunted myself when i tried to be the good one when i was younger#tried not to complain#tried to be a diplomat may#try to be good#try tryto be good#and now I’m just regressing so fucking hard#I never wanted to be grown up as a kid but I was constantly being mature#and an old soul and all that shit#and I robbed myself of my youth without even trying#and now I’m a year older and I don’t want to do it anymore#i don’t want to be the bigger person#it got me nothing#now I’m just a 24 year old who wants to throw a fucking tantrum#why can’t I get over anything#why am i so sensitive#this can’t be right#i know I’m just human#I know I’m not always wrong#why don’t I feel that way#why is it that i don’t feel like a person who makes mistakes#I just feel like a big fucking mistake#and talking about it doesn’t help#not really feelings come and go yes of course I’ll feel better#that’s life everything just happens over and over you feel things good and bad and isn’t that beautiful#it just makes me tired it’s always made me tired I’m always just flinching waiting for the bad feelings to come back and I don’t know how to#stop
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