#I trust that many of you are from the stream
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I would love to hear the rant about social media doomerism and conspiracy
I’m on my phone right now but the summary version is something like:
Humans are bad at integrating information into their worldview accurately bc of various cognitive biases
Social media incentivizes us seeking out content that excites fear or anger or irritation
Social media thus causes us to form negative impressions of the world bc it mediates so much information consumption and discourse these days
This general negative affective impression is subject to high confirmation bias and ppl in general are really bad at divorcing an affective impression of a thing from their dispassionate reasoning abt a thing
(Bc one of the functions of an affective impression is to “cache” our conclusions about a topic to save time and effort later)
(In general if you are a cynic and pessimist you can fall prey to these biases w/o social media but I think social media makes more ppl susceptible to them)
People don’t want to be dupes so they seek refuge in cynicism. We treat cynicism as wise or worldly when in fact cynicism makes you a dupe and an easy mark for grifters. Cynicism and low trust foster conspiracism, paranoia, and antisocial politics
(This is why so many congenitally contrarian folks seem to flit effortlessly between the far left and far right; it’s not horseshoe theory, they’ve just cooked their brains on this stuff)
This is a world where populist anti-social politicians like Trump and the AfD thrive, bc they will lie about how everything is terrible and people will nod along, bc it explains why their social media is full of awful stories of, like, immigrants eating pets and shit
But it doesn’t just have to be insane lies only a moron could believe. It can be any impression about a fact in the world that it is difficult to personally check and which is vulnerable to being swayed by anecdote
This is how we get a word where people think crime rates are higher than they’ve ever been when in fact crime is falling
Or child predators lurk around every corner when in fact children are safer than ever
Or the American economy is in a recession when in fact it’s doing historically well by just about every available metric (now with full employment AND low inflation!)
Because in a big world even where things are in general good and getting better you can always produce infinite individual examples of shitty things and pipe those in a steady stream into people’s eyeballs, and then point to that and leverage people’s low trust attitudes and their cynicism which tells them they are smarter than the experts and go “statistics is just a fancy way to lie! The world is secretly terrible! Every bad thing is even worse than you thought and every good thing is a lie!”
(Nevermind the whole phenomenon where anything that is complicated or that someone does not themselves understand gets treated like it’s actually secret and a conspiracy.)
And here I know I have to include some disclaimer about how this is not to discount individual cases of suffering or struggle, which are real, or that there are indeed some really awful things happening in the world right now, which there are, but you know what?
I’m tired of doing that. People with reading comprehension operating in good faith ought to be able to deduce that general statements do not obviate particular exceptions, and people who cling to their doomerism as a kind of emotional life raft do not generally argue with me in good faith.
Sometimes doomerism is a load-bearing pillar of their politics, which I think is dumb—I think you can be a leftist or a progressive without being a doomer! In fact I think doomerism is antithetical to useful politics!
Sometimes they are just depressed and treatment-resistant. Sometimes they are just angry misanthropes who want to feel justified in their misanthropy. Some doomers are themselves in bad circumstances and feeling hopeless about that—to them I am enormously sympathetic. Though a lot of doomers will admit they personally are doing OK—this does not seem to be most doomers.
But I think in general cynicism and doomerism and a worldview dominated by a general nebulous air of Everything Is Awful and by abstract nouns with threatening auras is not conducive to wisdom or understanding or useful politics or leading a happy and fulfilling life.
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look this is really probably unnecessary, but I've seen tons of posts about how everyone is mad about the page that's going to post unmasked pics of the st guys and how outrageously disrespectful it is to them and well... I gotta say that it's just not that deep.
it's been pointed out that they've only ever said that 'their identities aren't important to the music or the story'. and that's it in terms of the "extreme lengths" they go to hide their identities.
i'm a regular follower of the reddit page where their identities are openly discussed and there is a decent amount of evidence that one of them or someone from their team lurks there and plays around a little with that community. ie, a few of the recent "the summoning solo shenanigans" were suggested in that thread and then seen on stage the next show. but who knows.
some of the guys are actually still participating in other media to a small extent. one of them still streams with a friend on twitch often. one of them just put out some older official music project on Spotify. one of them gets his new tattoos posted unmasked on his tattoo artist's page.
look, I'm not saying that this person who plans to bring this stuff to Tumblr shouldn't be warned about and of course everyone should have the opportunity to block and avoid it to keep their experience of the band how they prefer. that's no question how it should be.
but like... everyone is saying that this person who's starting the unmasked blog is like, evil and so disrespectful to the band. and I think that's just not right. it's their right to start whatever kind of page they want. it's everyone else's right to avoid it.
like I said, this is not really going anywhere, and it's not personal, I just have seen so many people bashing that person on a personal level and I just gotta tell someone, it's not that deep. thank you for reading
To me it is that deep, from what i’ve heard there was a major panic on Instagram in 2023 bc freaks were using info on there to harass II and his family. Hell he still alters his voice in videos, which you only do if you’re concerned someone is dedicated enough to scrape the internet with audio of your vocal patterns. I’ve seen video footage of Vessel cussing out a guy at a festival for yelling real names in the audience. There is direct evidence that the band members dislike off-stage info being known and shared, and that a portion of Sleep Token’s fanbase cannot be trusted to respect the secrecy that allows the band members to live comfortable lives relatively peacefully and out of the public eye.
In my personal opinion, your examples of how they’re still on other social media, and that you know that info abt them are reinforcement of my dislike for unmasked data aggregates. Unless the tattoo artist’s posts or the twitch stream is tagged #SleepToken there is probably a reasonable expectation that they don’t want band related attention for those things. Even if somebody does recognize them as the band members, it would be a minority population if it weren’t for subreddits and archives directly connecting dots between those things and Sleep Token, which is presumably why you have that info yourself in the first place.
By aggregating and collecting unmasked info, a resource is being provided that essentially says “Hey i know these guys have almost entirely retreated from the internet for their own safety and comfort…but here’s their names and faces and loved ones and colleagues and past projects and every little activity they do in their spare time. All gathered together and directly tagged and marked in relation to the band they’ve purposefully tried to anonymize and distance their real lives from”.
It’s stalker behavior, it’s unhealthy, it could be genuinely dangerous for the members if the wrong person made use of it, and i reserve the right to passionately condemn it.
#my stuff#asks#sleep token#‘it’s not that deep’ is an incoherent excuse for collective behavior that qualifies as cyberstalking and identity doxxing
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Consequences | Arthur Hill
Arthur and I had been together for a year. We had that kind of relationship that felt easy—built on laughter, trust, and shared traditions. One of Arthur’s quirks was his love for “splitting the G,” a Guinness drinking game where you try to drink the pint down to the middle of the golden “G” in the Guinness logo. It was silly, but it was his thing, and I adored him for it.
When he told me he was going on a boys’ holiday with George and Chris, I didn’t think twice. He updated me every day like clockwork—photos of beaches, beers, and their latest adventures. It felt like he was keeping me close, even from miles away.
Until the last night.
That night, the updates stopped. I told myself it was fine—maybe they’d just gotten carried away with their final hurrah. But then I saw the Instagram post.
A girl I didn’t know had tagged him in a photo. The two of them were standing close, her arm slung over his shoulder, grinning at the camera. The caption read:
“Met this guy and he taught me how he splits the G, many ways than one.”
The words hit me like a slap. I knew what “splitting the G” meant to Arthur, but what was the “other G” she was talking about? My stomach churned as I scrolled through the comments. People were laughing, teasing her, and dropping winking emojis. Arthur hadn’t liked or commented on the photo, but that did nothing to stop the flood of doubt and betrayal coursing through me.
I waited for him to text, to call, to explain. But there was only silence.
Arthur returned home two days later, dragging his suitcase into the hallway with a weariness I hadn’t seen before.
“Hey,” he said, his voice low.
“Hi.” I tried to sound normal, but my heart was already racing.
He was distant, avoiding my gaze, and his usual warmth felt replaced by something colder. I asked him about the trip, but his answers were short and guarded.
“It was fine.”
“Yeah, we had fun.”
“Nothing crazy happened.”
It didn’t feel right. He was hiding something, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Arthur,” I said finally, “I saw the photo.”
His entire body stiffened. “What photo?”
“You know what photo. The one with that girl. She said you taught her how to ‘split the G, many ways than one.’ What does that mean?”
For a moment, he just stared at me, his face pale. Then he sank onto the edge of the couch, running his hands through his hair.
“I messed up,” he said quietly.
“What do you mean?” My voice cracked.
“I was drunk,” he began, his words spilling out in a rush. “We were playing drinking games at the bar, and she joined in. We were laughing, talking, and then… she kissed me. I didn’t stop her. I should have, but I didn’t. It didn’t go further than that, I swear, but I know I messed up.”
My heart sank. The image of them together, the way he looked at her in that photo, it all felt like a dagger to my chest.
“She kissed you? Just like that?” I demanded, my voice rising.
“I was drunk, and I let it happen,” he admitted. “But it didn’t mean anything. It was a mistake. Please, believe me.”
I stared at him, my mind racing. The man I trusted, the man I loved, had let this happen. How could I ever look at him the same way again?
I slept in the spare bedroom that night. I couldn't bear to sleep or even look at Arthur.
The next morning, I packed my things. Arthur hovered around me, desperate and pleading, but I couldn’t stay.
“I love you,” he said, his voice breaking. “Please don’t go. It was one mistake.”
“One mistake is all it takes,” I said, tears streaming down my face.
And then I walked out.
For weeks, Arthur tried everything to win me back. He sent flowers, texts, and letters filled with apologies.
“I know I hurt you,” one message read. “But please don’t let this destroy us. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Another said, “I’m not giving up on us. You mean too much to me.”
Each gift, each message, felt like salt in the wound. I didn’t respond. I needed space, time to figure out what I wanted.
Then, one day, a small package arrived. Inside was a single notebook. On the first page, Arthur had written:
“Our Story: The Reasons I Fell in Love With You.”
Every page was filled with memories. The way we met, the time I surprised him with his favorite concert tickets, the night we stayed up talking until sunrise. He’d written about the way I laugh, the way I scrunch my nose when I’m annoyed, and how I always leave notes in his lunchbox.
At the end, he wrote:
“I know I broke your trust, and I might not deserve another chance. But I want to spend the rest of my life making this up to you, proving that I’m the man you fell in love with. Please, let me try."
I closed the notebook, my hands trembling.
For the first time in weeks, I let myself imagine a future where we could work through this. Where we could rebuild.
I wasn’t sure if I was ready to forgive him. But for the first time, I thought… maybe I could try.
-
🫶🏻
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“You are…”
Wolfwood has so many options to choose from that he must look stupid standing there blinking at Vash with his lips parted and his head on a slow, back and forth swivel of disbelief.
“Ridiculous.”
An understatement to every thought cavorting around in his head and behind his ribs. Having personally scoured every inch of this house himself, the endless attention and care behind every nut and bolt, every tile, and every painstakingly planed, stained, and delicately carved plank of wood was not lost on him. He hadn't wanted to dwell on the ‘with enough room for two’ of it all.
“Vash.” One day, perhaps, Nicholas might see that jittery anxiety driving Vash’s breathless stream of consciousness take a backseat. They'll work on it. There's always tomorrow…or the day after that, and the day after that one. He doesn't need even a quarter of everything Vash built here for them to be happy, but he understood what it meant to pour your grief into something just to give it somewhere to go. “Everything’s perfect the way it is. If I find a pea in the mattress, I'll be sure to let ya know, Blondie.”
For now, they have a hot bath to look forward to.
“Alright. Time to get skinny.”
Wolfwood pauses as a growing pile of clothing pools at his feet and the faucet shudders to life. Two fingers part the steady stream of water while he checks the temperature then squints back at Vash, slender as a reed and just as tall after their emergence from the cave system tunneling through the nearby hills. His gaze lingers, roving over the line of Vash’s shoulders and the scars cutting across his chest before he turns his attention back to grabbing an unopened bottle of soap standing on the lip between the wall and the tub. “Skinni-er.”
Watching the water level climb and peeking back every so often as Vash undresses is an equally surreal experience. The culmination of a four year search across a world that he had grown up in but was no longer recognizable to him, a stark, slap in the face difference between sleeping alone last week and holding Vash in his arms alongside a few skipped heart beats. The more he looks, the more heady he feels. The sound of rushing water seems too appropriate as he leans down to shut off the faucet, like the roar of his own thoughts spinning in his head.
With the bath finally ready, he slides down at the rear of the tub, leaving plenty of room for Vash to join him. Arms spread along the top sides of the bath, Nicholas has an awareness of how prominent the scars branching out from his sternum must look in the light of day. Bringing him out of stasis had been a gamble that Home had to make.
“They needed someone they could trust to find you before the Eye did. I fit the bill.”
The Eye must have scrubbed his name from its registers. None of its modern agents have shown any recognition of who he was, what he could do, what he had done. Chapel would not have wanted the black sheep remembered. Ironically, it saved his life.
From the moment life nearly winked out of his life to over two centuries later, only Home knew who Nicholas D. Wolfwood was. Beloved companion and sworn ally of Vash the Stampede. Without Vash and without critical knowledge, Ship Three was an intellectual curiosity and a risk too large for a fledgling cult to take on in force. Power, gathered in soft steps and whispers, would allow them to address Ship Three and its private archives through political will alone.
In time.
Time that neither he nor Vash will allow them.
The Eye of Michael's revival relieved Wolfwood of one additional burden: he no longer carried the weight of the cross across his back. In fact, not even Ship Three knew of the Punisher’s whereabouts. There were copies out there, facsimiles, pale imitations of the original. Symbols of worship. The irony.
No, this iteration of the Eye preferred their peaceful solutions like debt, blackmail, litigation, and public shaming. Even if they have the old designs and schematics– and Wolfwood is certain they do–
The Gunsmoke of two hundred years later is a polite society.
So despite Wolfwood's great reluctance, discretion meant going without a weapon of mass destruction. Still. They'd have to pry his grader pistol, now considered an antique for God’s sake, out of his cold hands a second time.
“Already cased the place on the way down to yer hidey hole.” Wolfwood's wince is contrite. “Went through photos and such ya left lyin’ around…”
Even the photos he found seemed profoundly lonely, as if Vash would have rather pictured another subject instead.
Wolfwood gestures for Vash to cross the threshold first, suddenly glad that he wedged a few small pebbles between the door and the frame as the door swings open. They bounce off the ground like little marbles.
“Nice place. Off-grid,” he comments conversationally, redirecting from the obvious demonstration that he would never have let Vash go in ahead of him if he wasn't already reasonably certain the farmhouse was secure. The interior is quiet, softening sound through intimate acoustics and dust covers. Wood groans in response to temperature flux and added weight. Other than a few swaths of disturbed dust, no one has been here since Nicholas passed through the building in search of Vash. Vines crawling up the outside walls peek in through cracked windows. Pollinators, some indigenous, some extraterrestrial, break up the fuzzy stream of sunlight as they pass down to the auto-irrigated flower beds and gardening plots. Wolfwood reaches out, grabbing Vash’s hand and squeezing.
“Wouldn’t mind stayin’ here with ya.”
He grins, all teeth, having already found home the day before, then rubs his hands together as he drops his travel pack down in an accessible corner clear of the walk ways. “Now, how ‘bout ya show me a bathroom with some real hot water?”
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one one time my friend had a dream about the bomb gianni plush playing a trombone better then them. he was really upset about it in the morning
Thank you for being the only normal anon of the night <3
How did your friend lose to a plush with no arms though. Skill issue tbh
#non voice post#ask#asks#following tags aren’t related to this ask#I don’t know how this temporarily became an ask blog#how did this start again#oh wait yeah it’s cause 1 anon said this was their fav account#and I said ‘that’s like saying gasoline is your favorite smell’#how did i get here#from that#top ten questions science can’t answer#I understand the crowd that I have gathered here is a special one#I trust that many of you are from the stream#you guys know how it is over there#this is tame#compared to that#but a little bit of the stream energy came to us these past 2 days#unfortunately it’s very spammy#so I don’t want to encourage it too much#a little is fine… and if it’s Gabe related.. rules can be bent#but I don’t want to spam
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i love the bit from oct 17 2020 when tommy and quackity trapped wilbur in a cobblestone box to keep him from pressing the button... wilbur punching through the blocks with his bare hand to try to get to the button... tommy frantically replacing the block in front of him yelling for quackity to do something... the moment when tommy stops, blocks the exit, and tells wilbur to do it. press the button. but then theyd die with him. quackitys like "wait, wait-" but tommy holds his ground and wilbur. ohh wilbur. "why'd you have to make it so hard?"
#my post#this is just me rambling sorry i love that stream ive watched it sososossoooo many times from all 3 povs#AND AFTER TOMMY AND QUACKITY LEAVE....#wilbur replaces the button. i just need to know that its there.#and he goes on and on about how hes such a showman. how he shouldve just pressed it when he was alone.#but he just NEEDED someone to see him he needed someone to bear witness. guh#shaking. shaking. shaking. tommy put so much trust in him in that moment. he looked at him and said i know you want to hurt yourself but yo#wouldnt hurt me. and is he right to believe that? is he? maybe back in lmanberg maybe back during 'your life is worth more than the#revolution' but in pogtopia?? during 'wilbur wanted to be treated poorly so he treated others poorly'? it was a gamble for sure#and i mean as time went on tommy realized that. that as much as he cared about wilbur he couldnt trust him all the way.#but either way. in that moment i think tommy was sure that wilbur wouldnt press it if he realized that tommyd be killed as well.#that even though at this point people were saying wilbur was crazy. that hed lost it. that even if he didnt get it he knew something was#different about wilbur now. in that moment he bet everything on if there was anything of his brother left he wouldnt hurt him.#fucking. collapses onto the floor#disclaimer if anyone actually reads this far im not trying to slander pogbur in 2024 by calling him crazy thats just how like. every single#other character saw him.#anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk
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Morning! I'm here to harass you. 🤭
Hangover status?
And how vivid is the memory of stream? 🤣
GOOD MORNING STARS you could never harass me 😤
and LIKE I SAID DURING STREAM i never get hangovers !!!!!!! ive also been awake since like. 4AM so even if i did get one i'd prob be fine by now LOL
and trust. i remember. Everything from stream.
#snap chats#IVE ALSO BEEN DYING LOOKING AT THE FUCKIN BJ CHAT (OUT OF CONTEXT STATEMENT)#WDYM YOU LOT ARE MAING A COPMILATIONLJLERVEJLKVEJ im thoroughly obsessed witht he art too.. i have saved all of it </3#im thinking back on stream and thinking of how many more times i cuodlve roasted kayla tbh 😔#DEELGATING KAYLA TO KUME IS WILD THO i was thinkin ichi the whole time. tbh. aoki bullies ichi during streams real#also have a dumb doodle idea from it... lol... but ill do that durin drawing stream uhhhhh tuesday?#kayla and i were talking about it beforehand. or WHEN te fuck ever but yeah moving on#its how i remembered i needed to clean my suit a bit cause there was still sake stains on it FUCK#its fine now. trust. i take care of my suits like theyre my children <- dont spill alcohol on your children ?????#but yeah no im telling you alcohol is so weird to me becase i never forget anything and im Cognizant and always aware of what im doing#but yk. i do be a lil loopy 🥴 a 15 on the scale even 🥴 free rights to be stupid while only feeling KINDA bad about it#so funny how we were talking bout when id wear the masato outfit and i was like 'oh god prob not Ever if its with kayla'#and now we're doing it. part two. tonight LOL#you guys wanna see my shitty attempt at beard make up cause Highly Considering It
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How long does a show have to be bad before y'all stop saying we "just need to give it time" and accept that it sucks? Serious question
#like. after the first season erased Inej's trauma and established the characters in ways that completely fucked up the trajectory of their#arcs you couldn't scroll more than 2 seconds without seeing someone chastizing any naysayer with 'im sure they'll include/fix/make that#work in the next season stop complaining its not fair to judge it'. and now that season 2 is out and Inej's trauma was ignored even more#than before and they've shuffled all the plot beats and character moments in ways that rob them of their impact and make half of them v#virtually meaningless because they haven't been built to i STILL see people mocking and chastizing anyone who speaks against it with#'oh my gosh just give them time to tell the story they clearly changed things for a reason and obviously they must have a very good idea#that they just haven't gotten to yet and if you stop complaining and stream the show nonstop we'll get season 3/the spinoff and itll be#so great' and like. where is your faith coming from? what have they done that makes you think they're good at this? why do you trust them?#how long does something have to consistently suck before you accept that it sucks?#when are you finally 'allowed' to point out that just isnt very good? how many seasons need pass before you can pass judgement?#shadow and bone
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Mia Winters 🤝 Ashley Graham
Being too amazing for people to comprehend.
:)
maybe some people...but the real ones get it.
genuinely it's so wild to me as someone who got into resident evil without ever really being exposed to the fandom beforehand and watched playthroughs/learned stuff while very isolated from it and am Just Now getting into the fandom and fan-content to see how like. widely hated they are? because, what, they don't like ashley's game mechanic and a bunch of people can't seem to comprehend the way the ethan is molded and mia knew reveal is supposed to totally recontextualize what we see of her behavior in village? um....okay lol.
and here is where i started typing out an entire rant about why it makes zero sense to me that people hate on mia so much despite the fact that she is pointedly not written as the villain of the games and ethan clearly loves her a lot and she clearly loves him a lot, but then backspaced it all because actually if i go down that road i will never stop. one day i'll do an art stream again where i just sit and rant for 2 hours about it. just know: i think about this so much and it makes absolutely Zero sense to me why people hate mia when she's such an easy to understand and CLEARLY sympathetically written character. RRRRR.
and then ppl who hate ashley bc she's "whiny" and "helpless" ok well what would YOU be doing if you had been kidnapped, infected with a parasite in an incredibly violating way, were essentially a ticking time bomb, and had no training in weapons or defense to deal with this shit MUCH LESS while in a totally different country. um. i think you would be begging for help too. and half the battle is just her game mechanic it's not like it's her fault jfc.
#answered asks#precambrian-sea-pancake#ONCE AGAIN i say hm isnt it funny how people seem to love ada but hate mia when they share MANY similar characteristics#(questionable backgrounds of working for mercenary groups; have hurt people; betrayed the trust of those close to them; committed#(lite) atrocities etc etc)#and yet mia is the one who has shown consistent regret for her actions and worked to change and she isnt perfect FUCKING DUHHHH no one is.#esp no one in resident evil YOU KNOW IM RIGHT ABOUT THIS!#but adas just fine going on exactly the way she is but mia has shown remorse and worked to change and leave that life behind#so really who is a 'better' character here#<- trick question i love them both ada is fun being morally bankrupt and mia is fun being a character who grows#you thought i was pitting women against each other didnt you! you thought i would make two bad bitches fight!#okay sorry i got away from myseslf here ive been watching too many snap cube streams#my point being. mia and ashley are literally fine. i cant speak to ashleys character writing esp with the remake not out yet#but mia despite the disaster that was villages writing at times. is a GREAT and SYMPATHETIC character who is clearly not the villain#u guys just hate women idk#sorry tumblr user precambrian-sea-pancake i have just gone on such a tangent which is just directed at the empty pews of a church#i will get off my soapbox now
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do you wanna try your luck at the wild life session 5 trivia questions?
well now you can! i gathered all the questions we came up with into a pair of google forms so that you guys can try your hand at the same trivia questions the CCs did!
quizmaster's questions from session 5
we tried to have a good amount of questions for every player and season. we also tried to include only questions we thought at least one person would remember the answer to, especially things we'd seen them bring up recently in their own videos or streams, or big moments that would appear in fanart/animatics that we thought they'd be more likely to remember from seeing in those. we also aimed to include silly questions/answers, or questions/answers we thought people would find entertaining. we wanted players to be able to go to each other and ask each other for help on questions they didnt know the answer to!
but wait! there's more! we also have a form for all the questions which didn't make the cut!
rejected questions
the rejected questions didn't make it due to either being too difficult/niche or being something we did not think any creators would remember, being about a player we already had too many questions for in order to make room for questions about other players, being "stat" or number questions (i.e., "how many times did X die of Y cause?"), having too many names involved in the question or answer (making it hard for players to know who to ask for help), the questions just being wordy, or not being particularly entertaining. fair warning, the rejected questions also were not all fact checked as well as the actual episode questions were, as they didn't go into the actual session
originally our questions were a bit more difficult (we had a lot of questions we didn't necessarily think anyone would remember the answer to), but we were asked to tone it down and have mercy after the unexpectedly high amount of snail carnage (hence why the forms are jokingly names "easy version" and "hard version")
anyway, huge thanks to the rest of the trivia team, @cherrifire, @xmaruu11, @hopepetal, @applestruda, @ink-ghoul, and @cocoabats !!! working with all of you was super fun! and thanks so much to Grian for trusting us with this! this whole thing was a super cool experience and i'm thrilled with how much everyone likes the questions!
#wild life#wild life smp#trafficblr#if any of the questions are broken let me know#we tested it a few times but just to be sure#life series#life series smp#third life#last life#double life#limited life#secret life#trivia trivia#top hits#posts that make my notes unusable
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˖ ࣪ ، ◞ せ⌇ BABY MOMMA. featuring k. nanami.
↻ there’s nothing nanami wants more in the world than to make you a mommy, and give you his beautiful kids.
tags : breeding kink, creampie, mommy kink (if you squint), messy sex, pet names, feral nanami, marathon sex, lactation + pregnancy (fantasized), ovulation cycle // wc. 0.9k
author’s note : sorry this one’s a lil late, i’ve been busy with theme changes and real life is throwing a million and one hurdles at me and i just can’t keep up 😞 you can't tell me that nanami wouldn't be a massive family man, so here i have him completely desperate to start a family with you and give you his babies. notes and reblogs are always appreciated, and check out my masterlist for non-event based works <3 !!
this work is NSFW. minors and ageless blogs DO NOT INTERACT.
it’s been hours. hours since nanami even proposed the idea of trying for kids, and now, it’s all he can fucking think about.
it’s all you can think about too, given the fact that he’s fucked you out of your mind, legs numb from being in missionary for as long as you remember with nanami plunging in and out of you, the tip of his cock nudging your cervix with every single thrust.
it’s repetitive. it’s addicting.
“hah- kento, can’t take no more…” your voice is a sheepish babble, nails digging into his back as tears stream down your face. “ ‘s too much, ken, please–“
nanami grunts in your ear, hips never ceasing movement as he ruts into you. “g’na have to, sweetheart. this one’s gotta take.”
he said that about the last one, and the one before that, and the one before that… and fuck, you can’t keep up with how many times he’s said it because he’s been going at it for so long with only one goal in mind.
he’s gonna give you kids. he’s gonna make you a mommy, and you’re gonna raise his kids with him as his wife.
it’s all he’s ever wanted. it’s all he’s ever dreamed of, and when he watches you lounge around the house wearing nothing but a bra and his oversized dress shirt and a wedding ring fit snugly on your finger, he really can’t stop himself from imagining what you would look like with a swollen tummy, breasts spilling out of that same bra.
“g’na give you my kids baby…” he’s rambling half out of his ass, his brain scrambled by pure need. “gonna make my girl a mommy. you’re gonna be a great mommy, aren't you?”
he’s brought up the topic before. it was never anything serious, just asking you what you would prefer and never really thinking of his own volition. you had always agreed with him wholeheartedly, and it would somehow lead to the two of you cooing over baby clothes and strollers but never anything more.
nanami is fucking sick of it. he’s sick of fawning over the idea and not doing anything about it. sure, you’ve made love a couple of times, but it never held any true intent, focusing on the pure need to give each other pleasure.
well, now, nanami needs more than pleasure. he needs to see you with that swollen tummy and those massive leaky tits, and there’s only one way to do that; fucking you within an inch of your life and cumming in your cunt until it finally takes.
“kento–“ you seemingly haven’t gotten bored of it yet, despite having been at it for over two hours. your back still arches with every bump to your cervix, nails still raking down his back as his sweaty chest squashes your own. “this one’s gonna take, promise.”
“i can’t be sure of that,” he states matter-of-factly. “although your tracker says you’re ovulating, we can’t just trust that once or twice will be enough.” is he sure of this fact? no, but he is sure that you feel too damn good to stop, even though he’s already finished inside of you enough times to guarantee your pregnancy ten times over.
you just look so beautiful beneath him. you wear the radiance of sex extremely well, eyes fogged over and mouth hanging open as your steamy pants echo in his ear. you’re borderline intoxicating, and that’s why nanami can’t stop, even though he knows you need him to before you pass out.
“look at me, angel. i wanna see you.” you weakly turn your cheek away from the pillow and look up at him, lips stained a gorgeous red and swollen from his kisses. “you’re gonna be such a pretty momma.”
your eyelids flutter and your back arches weakly as you cum again for the final time, garbled moans of nanami’s name flooding from your throat. despite the longevity of your session, your cunt still manages to squeeze around him impossibly, and nanami groans deeply, arms sliding around your hips as you pulls you forward to meet his thrusts.
“kentooo…”
“i know, baby, i know.” the sheets are soiled with your sweat and his, and the tight clampdown of your walls propels him to cum one final time, hips flush against your twitching clit as he pumps you full.
you both stay like that for a beat, nanami folded over your twitching body before he finally pulls out slowly, and when he does, the sight he’s met with is so incredibly dirty that he can barely believe he was the one to reduce you to such a mess. “oh, angel…”
copious amounts of his release flood from your cunt, leaving a translucent pool on your sheets. whilst he absolutely loves the sight and wishes to brand it on the forefront of his brain, nanami’s goal is still clear as day.
he leans down and kisses your overstimulated clit, fingers dancing around your twitchy hole and gathering up his release before pushing it back inside with a curl of his fingers that makes you want to scream.
“can’t waste any, my dear, or it might not take, remember?” when he looks up at you from in between your trembling thighs, the look on his face is nothing short of depraved, blonde strands of hair sticking to his forehead and cheeks stained red with excitement.
“can’t wait to see my girl become a mommy.”
PREVIOUS : THE COLOUR RED ft. yae miko NEXT : BLACKOUT ft. tartaglia
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#jujutsu kaisen#kento nanami#jujutsu kaisen x reader#kento nanami x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#kento nanami smut#jjk smut#jjk x reader
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I have talked a few times about Psychological Operations or psyops on here, but I would like to point out a real world example of a PO Operation that was found out recently by the Department of Justice.
Before that though, If you would like to read more about the actual position of a PO soldier, you can look no further then the PO benefits page on the US Army special operations recruitment website (https://www.goarmysof.army.mil/PO/).
Personally I feel like many people still believe psyops to be some kind of conspiracy theory instead of a fairly standard military division in almost all modern militaries, anyways onto the example.
The US Department of Justice is going after (indicting) two RT (Russian state media) employees for committing fraud and violating the Foreign Agents Registration Act.
Basically they created a front "media" company in Tennessee, translated russian propaganda videos into english, then paid right-wing influencers to promote (reblog/retweet/talk about on streams) said videos.
Three of the named influencers that I could find were Tim Pool, Dave Rubin and Benny Johnson.
I honestly have no idea who these three are, but supposedly their platforms have millions of followers. Also, some of these influencers were paid up too $100,000 a week to promote their videos and messaging.
So to summarize, Russia setup a fake company to pay American influencers to repeat their lies so that their followers would interpret those lies as legitimate since their were coming from a source they trust.
When people talk about election interference this is what we are talking about.
$100K a week is insane money for most, I am sure many people would be hard pressed to not sell their soul for that much money. Many of the videos from this media company were lies about the Ukraine war, and looking into Tim Pool it seems he also has a very anti-Ukraine stance (Audio from one of this podcasts https://v.redd.it/41xgvuri0vmd1/DASH_AUDIO_128.mp4)
I generally do not talk about my job on here, but corporations used to pay me to run seminars to help train their employees on spotting these types of attacks--mainly targeted psyops attacks from nation states to hack into their company via end user interaction.
Or in layman's terms, to help companies protect themselves from Russian Ransomware Thieves and Chinese Intellectual Property/Information collectors. Both of these being extensions of the Psychological Operations military divisions of each country.
I am really not sure how to end this post other than I am just trying to show people how real it is that the militaries of the world are spending obscene amounts of money in trying to influence your opinions and day to day life via your internet consumption.
Surf responsibility, be very wary of anyone telling you not to vote and don't believe everything you see/hear on TikTok/youtube/twitter/Insta etc etc
#US election interference#us politics#American politics#if you think your vote does not matter you have been influenced by propaganda#us elections#psyops
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Uchihas reacting to “I hate you”s
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Characters: Sasuke Uchiha, Obito Uchiha, Madara Uchiha, Itachi Uchiha, Shisui Uchiha
Warning: slight angst, nothing else.
Obito Uchiha (Villain)
✧ “I hate you,” he stood there, his expression unwavering as your voice seethed with anger. Your voice could cut through thick glass as you shouted at him, but he felt nothing whatsoever. Even as your eyes bore into him, filled with a hatred so intense it could burn a hole through his soul, it wasn’t directed towards him. No, not ever. Yet despite the venom in your words, he didn’t flinch. Instead he listened intently, his expression indifferent. “That’s okay,” he responded, his voice devoid of any apparent emotion. In any other scenario, he would’ve crumpled under the weight of your vitriol, weeping and pleading for an explanation as to why you might hate him. But not now, because he already knew why.
✧ He knew how you mourned him for years, believing him dead and gone, only to find out the hard way the reality. He knew you visited his grave, and wished that you were in his position. He knew that your trust—your perspective of reality had been shattered the very moment his mask fell from his face. With a heavy heart, he continued “I would too,” his gaze never left yours, watching as tears streamed down your reddened cheeks. It had been years since he’d seen you this close, yet you looked young and pretty. The prettiest he’s ever seen you, even with tears glistening on your pretty face.
✧ “I hate you so much,” your voice cracked with pain and resentment as you spoke to him. Your Obito. The revelation that he was still alive, but causing so much pain and suffering shattered your world, leaving you emotionally fractured. “Why? Why do all of this? Why hurt so many?” You ask, searching his face for remorse but finding none, “Because this world is broken,” he answers steadily, his voice awfully gentle to you. “You have nothing in this reality,” his arms open, showing you the distress and chaos that is currently occurring around you. He wanted you to see how your comrades laid lifeless—to make you understand that you lost your friends, your family, your ‘happy ending’. “ Let this happen, and you will be forever happy,” he pauses briefly, searching for the right words to say. He chose his words carefully, locking eyes with you, “With me. With a better version of me. One that will keep you happy for the rest of your life,” Despite your heart-wrenching cries, he did nothing to stop this war. As you wept before him, he knew your pain would be temporary. He knew that once his plan took action—the infinite Tsukuyomi—you would find happiness. Even if you hate him now, he reassured himself, you wouldn’t think the same after his plan was completed.
Obito Uchiha (Shinobi)
✧ Obito, a strong and beloved jonin from the Leaf village, stood there, his chest tightening at the words that just came out of your mouth. His expression shifted as his mind struggled to comprehend what you had said. Suddenly, without a second thought, his words slipped through his lips as he tried to make sense of what you told him, “What… did you say?” he asked carefully, his eyes frantically darting over your face as if searching for an answer. You met his gaze, repeating your words with unwavering conviction, “I said, I hate you,”
✧ As you repeat yourself, Obito’s heart sank to the bottom of his stomach, his throat constricting as it became harder to breathe. He could handle any other response, any other thing you could have said, but hearing your harsh words was almost too much for him. “Why? What did I do? I don’t understand,” he manages to ask in desperation, trying his best to move closer to you. His heart clenched and turned inside his chest, and he boiled with fear. He loves you! He loves you to the moon and back! Why would you say that you hate him when he eats, sleeps, and breathes for you? You were his everything, so how could you hate him when he loved you so dearly?
✧ “Because you never notice how much I try for you. You’re always looking for Rin’s approval, and what about me? I’m left in the dark with nothing. I’m done with you. I’m done with trying to make you realize I’ve been in love with you for years,” you pour your heart out to him, desperate and hurt, and that’s when he realizes what this was about. Though his heart slightly fluttered at your revelation, he still felt awful for the way you were feeling all this time. The tingling sensation in the back of his mind kept bothering him as he examined every inch of your expression. “That’s… why?” He asks with a drop of his shoulder, sighing in pure relief at your confession, which only fueled the burning anger inside you. “I thought it was for something else I might’ve done… (Y/N), I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but I’m in love with you,” his confession caught you in surprise, his voice revealing his true feelings with no hesitation. What once was nervousness and anxiety had now been replaced with determination as he yearned to seek for a solution. It was true, he was deeply in love with you, but people still thought he had something for Rin when he didn’t. However, he did hide the fact that he liked you out of fear of another rejection. With Rin, he handled it well, but with you? He wouldn’t be able to take it. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel horrible. I’m sorry I never noticed, and I’m sorry I hid it from you for so long. I love you, over anything there is in this world. The only thing I want is you, always and forever you,”
Madara Uchiha
✧ “I hate you,” your words felt like a slap to the face, making Madara turn around to face you swiftly. Although his face was deemed expressionless, his body tensed and tightened the more he processed your words. He had obviously been taken aback by your audacity to say such things, but he tried his best to hide his discomfort. With arms crossed over his chest, he scoffed and parted his lips, ready to give you a piece of his mind. “Get over it, woman,” he snarls at you with authority, and slight annoyance. You, his wife, should never say that to him. He’s given you everything; a home, a family, and more importantly, love. “You are acting like a child over something that should have never pestered you in the first place,” although your words had not hit him hard when you first spat them, they started to annoy him the more they set in, “If you hate me, why even decide to say yes when I proposed? If you are going to bother me with such nonsense, I will not bother with you,”
✧ His words were meant to hurt you as much as you hurt him, and when he notices the pain in your eyes, he’s satisfied… until he’s not. Until that annoying tingling feeling lingers under his skin as he watches your eyes brim with tears. The tingling feeling that pulled on the tendons of his heart any time you cried was crawling under every inch of his body. “Oh please, do not start with the tears,” he groaned in annoyance, but the salty tears were already streaming down your puffy cheeks. Despite this, he didn’t move an inch to comfort you, but watched you as you cried for a couple of minutes until he released an exasperated sigh. “Why? Why do you care so much for those people when all they have done is hurt you?” He asks with irritation, referring to your clan members who’ve hurt you in the past. He has said something out of line, and you argued with him about it, which ended you two up here.
✧ “Because we should be better people than them. Violence should never be the answer,” you sniffle with clenched fist, “But that is something you seem to never stop thinking about,” you admit, trying to hold in your tears. You didn’t want to keep crying like this in front of him. You wanted to be strong, “And if you think I am such a burden, then why keep this ring on my finger—,” you were surprised when his fingers wrap around your wrist to stop you from taking off the ring he had gifted you the night he proposed, “Because I know who I married. The same nagging woman I am with now, is the same nagging woman I fell in love with. If I had any regrets of marrying you, you would be back in your clan,” he scoffs and pulls your head to his chest with an annoyed expression “I love you, you stupid woman,” to any other person, your relationship might’ve seemed strange, but to you, this moment showed you just how much he truly loved you. Even if he has weird ways of showing it.
Shisui Uchiha
✧ Wait, he didn’t quite hear you well. Wait, what did you say? He turned towards you with a raised brow, his mouth slightly parted as he tried to figure out if you had said what he thought you said. Noticing his lost expression, you had no choice but to repeat yourself, much to your annoyance “I hate you,” this time, he did hear you. Loud and clear. To him, it felt like he took hours to respond to you, but in reality, his answer left his mouth almost immediately, “No you don’t,” It wasn’t meant to be cocky, it just sounded like it was. At least, to you it sounded cocky, and it made you even angrier with him. It annoyed you that he never took you seriously, “Oh, so now you think you know how I feel, do you?” you spat at him, hands clenching into tight fists as your eyes locked intensely, “You never care about anything! You come home and sleep and don’t even have time for me. I know you have a hard job, and I don’t expect you to be there at my beck and call, but at least asking me how I am would be enough,” you stressed, waving your arms frantically around you in desperation. You had been like this all week, stressed and unable to talk to anyone, because the only person you could ever rant and banter about things that bothered you in life was barely there for you, and when he was, it was like he wasn’t! He would barely listen to you anymore, and would expect you to listen to him. And you did, you always did. But you wanted something in return, and that was a sliver of his attention.
✧ “You're telling me you hate me over something so little?” he asks with furrowed brows, making you even more annoyed, “Over something so little?” You repeated through gritted teeth. His face, for once, contorted into one of annoyance, something you had never seen on him before, “Yes! Little! Because you know how my line of work is! You know that I barely have time to sleep, let alone waste my time with useless banter!” You were left speechless, standing in front of him with hurt eyes. “Yeah, useless. You’re right. Because my feelings don’t matter,” you scoff, “That’s not what I—” you interrupt him by turning away, tears forming in the corner of your eyes as realization finally hits him. You weren’t trying to waste his time, you just wanted to spend time with him. He had been so lost in his work, so busy caring for himself that he completely neglected you.
✧ “Oh darling,” he takes your hand again, a frown painting his face, “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I’m just stressed out. Everything's happening so fast, and the clan isn’t helping at all.” he sighs and pulls you in towards him, engulfing you in his tight embrace, yet you didn’t say anything, “I know I’ve been neglecting you, and you deserve better. Please, let me make it up to you,” he whispers into you hair as he lowers down to kiss your head, “I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t have you by my side,”
Itachi Uchiha
✧ “I hate you,” you mumble under your breath as you look at your lover. No, he wasn’t your lover anymore. He had left the village years ago, leaving you behind with a broken heart and a broken image of him. He was a monster who murdered his entire clan, and even though he had left years ago, he still looked the same as when he was still in the village, with only one difference. Those eyes. Those red eyes that stared deep into your soul. They terrified you. The eyes that you once loved and cared about so much looked down at you with no emotion. They were empty. They were dark. They were hurt. “I hate you, for everything that you did,” you pushed him, backing away from him with angry eyes. His cloak told you everything you needed to know. He was part of the Akatsuki, he was the enemy now. He was a traitor, and although your words were meant to hurt him, he closed his eyes and nodded, understanding your hatred towards him. “I understand,” he says in such a soft voice. His voice that you missed so much.
✧ You didn’t understand why he came to visit you. Why come in the middle of the night to see you? Why? Why waste his breath coming back to see you when he knew you wanted nothing to do with him? Because this would be his final goodbye. There were only a handful of people Itachi cared for—Two, to be exact. His brother, and the love of his life. He knew that soon he’d perish, and this was the final time he would ever see you again. Not that it mattered. He tried not to think about it, thinking it would make things worse. It would be better if he never came to see you, but his heart got the best of him, and so he sat there at your window, looking at you for one final time.
✧ “You don’t,” you clench your fist, hurt by his mere presence, “I don’t want anything to do with you, and I will report you to the higher ups. Unless you came here to kill me, which I don’t doubt,” you were defenseless, but you wouldn’t go out without a fight. Never. You would fight until the very end, but soon you realized he wasn’t there to kill you. “I have no need for that,” he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, “I came by my own selfishness. I don’t expect you to understand, and I accept your hatred, which I deserve,” he looks at you, red eyes burning into yours, “I simply wanted to see you for a final time,” he smiles and reaches out for you, pushing your hair out of your face, “My love,” and with that, your vision goes black as your consciousness slips away from you. You would wake up the next day tucked into your bed with a necklace tucked tightly in your hand.
Sasuke Uchiha
✧ Words never hurt this Uchiha, he was used to every awful thing anyone could throw at him. He cared too little about anything and everything, and that's what you hated the most about him. He barely cared about anything you did or said, at all times. He didn’t care how you looked because he never complimented you, he didn’t care how you acted because he barely spoke to you. You felt like you were in a relationship with a ghost, in fact, the comparison was not even close, because dating a ghost would be ten times better than this. And with every passing day of being emotionally neglected by your partner, today was no different. He was back in the village, and instead of coming to you first—to his home—he decided it was better to meet with Naruto and Sakura over seeing his wife who waited patiently everyday for him. You questioned if the ring on your finger meant anything to him at all at that moment. Despite this,
✧ When he got home, you were so happy, yet he showed no sign of interest in anything you did for him. You cooked and he ate, saying nothing about the taste of your new recipe. In fact, he seemed like he didn’t notice that you had learnt to cook a new dish just for him. Even so, you shrugged his annoying attitude off and asked about his day instead. Your question seemed to annoy the tired man as he became uninterested in mid conversation. When you asked him what was wrong, he shrugged you off. You kept questioning him until he snapped at you, telling you how you were annoying him with all your worries. This had been the final straw. You always gave everything in the relationship. You understood he wasn’t the best at showing his emotions, but it didn’t mean he could act like he didn’t care about you. Like you were nothing. The argument got heated and it ended up with you opening your mouth without thinking. “I hate you!” After your words fell out of your mouth, the room fell silent. He who had been looking away from you, had now turned his full attention towards you, “You don’t mean that, stop being dramatic,” the sight of him rolling his eyes hurt you more than it ever did. “You don’t care about anything, Sasuke. I do everything to try and please you. I could even say I live for you, but it’s never enough! You don’t take a sliver of your time to appreciate me. You think I have to be there for you whenever you need me, but can just leave whenever you want!” you yell, hitting the wall in frustration.
✧ “You don’t care about me! You don't love me anymore!” you were in a current state of pure anger, letting out everything you ever wanted to say to him. This makes him stand up and walk towards you, taking your wrist in his hand. You look up at him, tears of frustration prickling in the corner of your eyes. “If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t have married you. You mean a lot more to me than you think. I… I’m sorry if I don’t show it,” he sighs, “I love your cooking, I love your stories—I love hearing about everything that happened throughout your day. You’re the only thing I can think about when I’m away,” he lets go of your wrist and places a hand on your cheek, “Don’t hate me, because you’re the only important thing in my life. You’re my wife, and I…” he stops himself, trying to build the courage to complete his sentence. A small blush decorates his cheeks before he sighs, “I care for you a lot,” your husband wasn’t perfect, but you still loved him a lot, and you knew he loved you too.
#naruto obito#naruto obito uchiha#obito x you#obito uchiha x reader#obito headcanons#obito x reader#obito uchiha#madara uchiha#madara x reader#madara uchiha x reader#itachi uchiha#itachi naruto#itachi x reader#itachi headcanons#itachi uchiha x reader#shisui uchiha#shisui x reader#shisui headcanons#shisui x you#sasuke uchiha x you#sasuke uchiha x reader#sasuke x reader#sasuke uchiha#naruto headcanons#naruto reactions
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wild like the west
3.3k / pairing: cowboy!joel miller x cowgirl!reader
main masterlist | notifications blog
summary: joel and his cowgirl warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), implied but unspecified age gap, joel is technically reader's boss (so power dynamic stuff), swearing, dirty talk, pet names (baby girl, brat, etc.), unprotected p in v, pussy pronouns, asphyxiation kink, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, clean up on aisle reader's stomach, reader is described having hair but otherwise (I believe) reader is a blank slate, no use of y/n, barely edited A/N: I unfortunately have not stopped thinking about a game joel miller x yellowstone crossover, and I feel like he would like this to be his long, happy life. I also haven't written for joel since may which feels like a sin! sorry baby!
It doesn’t matter how many ass bruises you get, or the pain of repeated thrashes to your knees from getting bucked off; this unruly horse will bend its spirit to your will.
Half the job of purchasing new horses for the Miller Ridge Ranch is breaking them in like a pair of new shoes.
Any cowboy, or for you, cowgirl, knows that a horse can sense your personality and fear from a mile away. If you sprout fear, it won’t trust you to be the guide on its back. It’s a mutual thing to trust one another. It’s the trust Joel thrust upon you after loyally working at the ranch for a handful of years. Sure, you were young, but you had a good head on your shoulders.
He perches his cowboy boot on the low fence rail, teeth gnawing at a toothpick as he watches you with careful eyes. The morning dew settles over the long grass and tall trees, untouched by man, fostered by nature. With the sun clawing at the horizon, the land turns from a pale blue to a beaming orange glow. It’s beautiful here, peaceful. You imagine this is the life that Joel always wanted, craved. He’s not from around here, he’s got too much Southern twang to be from these northern Montana woods.
Life guided him up here and he never turned back.
You can feel the horse grow agitated under your haunches, whinnying with anxiety as it takes a few rough steps backward in the ground-up dirt.
“S’okay, boy, take it easy, easy,” you coo in a gentle voice that lets the horse breathe through its panic. You grip the colt’s mane at the very base of his neck, right by the horn of your saddle, gently scratching that sweet spot that seems to bring him some tranquility.
You’re the only one who seems to calm these beautiful boys.
“You got a habit of gettin’ in’ta trouble before it even knows to start lookin’ for ya.” Joel’s southern drawl rumbles deep from his chest, stepping into the training ring and crooking his first two fingers in your direction.
“I got it, Joel,” you say insistently, guiding the horse by a little squeeze of your boots to its belly in Joel’s direction.
“Know ya do.” Joel stops at the horse’s chest and pats its neck, large and calloused hand stroking down its coarse mane as he stares up at you, squinting from the morning sunlight.
His eyes are starkly brilliant in this light, typically a dark brown, now a glowy amber under the brim of his black cowboy hat. “You know that part of learnin’ how to be a cowboy is lettin’ them break in their own horse. Hop down.”
A sigh leaves your parted lips as you unhook one boot from the stirrups and throw yourself off. Taking the reigns, you walk with Joel back to the main fence.
“You’re too nice to ‘em. I hired you to be a bit more…” He pauses indefinitely, tilting his head.
“Ruthless. I know.” Your eyes connect, both hardened after years of this long life. One day of being a cowboy felt like a year at any other job.
The plan was plain and simple, a route you’d taken a hundred times with a crew that changed on and off for the past couple of years. The cattle were in need of fresh resources, lush grass to graze on, and streams of pristine crystal water. Up through the valley they’d go.
The cowboys and cowgirls were gathered on their horses, Joel sat atop his beautiful black mare, eyes piercing his crew even behind his tinted sunglasses. Any season besides summer in this state demanded thick, warm work wear. Joel adorned a chocolate brown Carhartt and thick denim jeans under old, worn-out brown chaps.
“I want Wyatt and Jack to take front, Bo and Sadie, swing, Jess and June on the flank, Tucker and Sammy on the drag. Wear your bandanas, it’s gonna get dusty back there,” your eyes flick up to a string of confused faces, “any questions?”
“Why do we have to go through the valley? We’d have to push hundreds of cows through open water,” Bo mutters, disdain for a woman making all these choices for him, perhaps.
“Yeah, n’I can’t swim. Never learned.” Another pipes in.
“Then you’re a goddamn idiot,” old man Wyatt gurgles up a chuckle. Wyatt has been a cowboy longer than you have been alive. He raised you up to be tough with a streak of kindness that could never be washed away. He gives you a tight nod of reassurance as you sigh weakly.
All this tomfoolery seems to be a bit much for Joel’s taste. “She’s takin’ questions about the plan, not your ‘pinions on it. I tell her what to do, she tells ya’ll what to do. You question her, you question me. So do as she says, or you answer to me.”
Joel’s always had a tight hand on the crew. He intimidates them. He is their boss, after all. They have a problem with you or this ranch or anyone else, they answer to him. Joel takes off his sunglasses and narrows his eyes on Bo, the newest cowboy with a pretty big mouth on him who bucks just as bad as your new colts. And his dead eyes are set on you.
The rest of the crew sets off towards the direction of the cattle herd, everyone except Bo.
Your head jerks upward in his direction, your own eyes narrowed. “You wanna say somethin’?” You ride alongside Bo, who seems to be wrestling with his stupid thoughts. But before he gets a chance to say anything, Joel intervenes.
“Got a fight in you? It starts an’ ends with me.”
Bo looks between both of you, simply scoffing before he backs his horse off and trots along towards the crew.
The view from the top of the valley is beautiful, all yellow and golden, with a pale blue sky and tall trees that harbor the secrets of the forest. Joel used to tell you it would whisper to him, warn him. Your chestnut-colored horse stands tall next to Joel’s, and both of you are overseeing the herd and the crew working together.
“Not as bad as I thought this was gonna be,” Joel mutters, turning his head in your direction. You’re unrecognizably quiet. He’s never known you to be so still.
He watches as your fingers anxiously twirl your horse’s mane. “You undermine me in front of them, and they don’t respect me, Joel.”
So that’s what got you so stiff. He takes in a deep breath of mountain air, crossing his wrists over the horn of his saddle and glancing over at you out of the corner of his eye. Your hair blows in the wind, gentle and flowing. Almost graceful if it wasn’t in this wild west. Your beauty was city beauty, he was surprised you ever found your way out here.
“Bo’s as green as grass. He needs to learn not t’talk to you like that. And if he needs to learn from me, so be it.”
Keeping your lips zipped, your eyes scan the points that use the dogs to guide the herd in the right direction. The swings and flanks work the mid to back-mid to maintain movement, and the drags stationed at the back ensure that any loose stragglers keep up.
Joel rolls his eyes and sighs, reaching his hand across to your horse’s reigns, keeping your horse tucked to his side.
“C’mon, Cowgirl. Spit it out.”
“You go about defendin’ me, it looks like we’re sleepin’ together,” you gripe, “and I don’t need our crew slingin’ the slander that I got my job fuckin’ the boss. I don’t want that shit, Joel.”
Joel shifts his jaw from side to side, silent as he usually is. His tongue muscles over the right words, the words that will settle that ball of uncertainty you have nestled in your gut.
He settles on the truth.
“We are sleepin’ together.”
Shaking your head, you steal your reigns back from Joel and gently nuzzle your boots against the horse’s underbelly. “Well, maybe that should end.”
Joel watches on with a small smirk as your horse is set in motion down the grassy hill. He shouts loud enough for his voice to carry down from the high ground. “You set those boys straight, or I’ll have to keep doin’ it for ya.”
You sling back your middle finger in his direction, both of your horses riding side by side now as you follow the crew through to the valley.
Joel sighs upon entering his large, private cabin, resting his cowboy hat to air out on a hook by the front door. His clothes wreak of his musky sweat, and the shower calls his name. He walks stiffly. Joel’s thick thigh muscles are as strong as iron from riding his horse, and his back cracks each time he inhales.
But he can’t deny that this life was made for him.
Training to be a carpenter, earning pennies on the dollar to work in the hot Texas sun, and for what? Building someone else’s dream property? He had his own dreams.
The ranch was his dream.
He always had a profound appreciation for nature and the outdoors.
Fuck the city, fuck car horns honking obnoxiously, fuck the traffic. He found more fulfillment in listening to the wind flutter through the trees and would much rather hear the moos of his cattle than impatient commuters at six in the morning.
Plus, he’s never felt more free or independent. This was his land, and he made the decisions on how it was run. Hiring the sassy cowgirl from the metropolis just happened to be a nice bonus on lonely nights when there wasn’t much left to his whiskey bottle, and the ride into town was more than twenty minutes for a new one. She sated him all the same, better, even.
Despite years of riding and wrangling, you’re so fucking soft. You have soft eyes, a pretty voice, and satiny thighs. Your lips are plush against his weathered ones, and you don’t seem to mind sitting in his lap with his rougher-than-barbwire hands feeling over your body.
But in turn, you’ve made a little soft spot in his wild like the west heart of his. And he swore he’d never settle down; you seem to have the same intentions.
Things were easy. Nice and easy. Almost routine.
The bunkhouse would be busy with cowboys and cowgirls playing card games, drinking their beers, singing to the music on the radio, and talking nonsense. You’d slip out after dark and wind up upstairs in his bed.
He recalls you saying something about how his bed is more comfy than the ones in the bunkhouse.
“Whatever you say, darlin’.”
Tonight was no different. Fresh from his shower with a towel secured low on his waist, he hums curiously at the sight of you sprawled out across his bed. No more than a minute later, you are tugging it loose from his frame and letting it pool around his ankles.
“Thought you said you were done,” Joel muses with a hint of teasing. You sit up from the bed on your knees and wrap your arms around his broad trap and shoulder muscles.
“I ain’t a quitter,” you mutter against Joel’s mouth, feeling his tongue glide along yours as he explores you freely.
He sheds your clothes, feeling your freshly showered skin and hair under his rough palms. He can’t help but touch you like you’re his, like he owns you. But no man can possess the wind.
You kiss as he slips you under the bed’s cool sheets, drunk on the way you move so pliantly under his guidance. His lips move to the slope of your neck, his greying whiskers scratching your skin before he washes over the irritation with more kisses.
Joel’s hands slip between your legs, cupping your clothed center in one hand. Your eyes light up at the friction, mewling up a moan of his name as he massages over the wet spot growing on your panties.
“She’s already soaked, darlin’. You been thinkin’ ‘bout this?” Joel muses, sitting up properly to peel your shirt off your body, two fingers curling around the hem of your panties and chucking them mindlessly on the floor.
“Joel,” you whisper breathlessly as he’s about to slip down between those pretty legs of yours.
“What?” He asks, damn near annoyed.
“I can’t wait,” you beg breathlessly, his eyes meeting yours. “I-I can’t, I’m beggin’ you, please. It’s been a long day.”
Joel sighs but ultimately nods. It’s not what he wants, but sometimes you both need a quick fix.
Joel’s body parts your legs, a grunt escaping the depth of his throat as he ruts his hips against your own.
“Good idea,” he mutters against your mouth, leaning down and distracting himself with your kisses as he lines his length up and down your soaking center.
You sharply inhale as he enters and the sound is music to his ears. He feels your nails carving into his back muscles as he sinks himself in deeper deeper deeper, both of you panting with eagerness by the time his hips are flush with your own, lost in where you end and he begins.
You let out a string of moans as he reels himself back, only to return to your depths with a snap of his hips that releases a shrill whine of his name from your throat. His forearms are buried in the fluff of the pillows on either side of your head, forehead against forehead, his hips grinding against you now.
The friction is enough to make your head spin. You can feel the coarse hair of his happy trail tickling your already anxious pearl.
“Fuck,” you huff out, letting your hands slip down his back, knowing that if you want him to pick up the pace, you’ll have to ignite his fire. In one quick movement, your hands drag themselves up Joel’s back, your nails creating etched lines that raise red once you finish at the very tops of his shoulders.
Joel releases a long, low groan in response as his eyes snap open to meet yours. The sting of pain creates heat along Joel’s spine. His jaw is wound tight as he brings his large hand to wrap around your pretty throat, thumb on your chin to force you into staring straight at him.
“Such a goddamn brat,” he growls, adding pressure to the column of your throat as he begins to pound into you harder and harder with each thrust of his hips. You cry out his name, a cacophony of your panting moans and your slick squelching against his hips fill your ears. The ecstasy of losing just a smidge of air is enough to make your eyes roll into the back of your head.
He’s obsessed with the way your eyes gloss over in lust, your body jerking up the bed with each powerful thrust he gives you. Your mouth hangs open, gasping for air that’s just out of your reach.
“You take it, baby girl, you keep takin’ it. She’s so fuckin’- goddamit, so fuckin’ good for me,” he pants, feeling the warm air dissolve against your skin as Joel begins to swell fatter inside of you.
Perfectly slick and warm, he loses himself in your pussy. You squeeze and choke him, his orgasm only building as you whimper how good he feels.
“Holy fuck, Joel, please please please, right there, ohmygod you’re gonna make me-” you gasp, your back arching off the mattress as you grip onto his forearm that’s still holding your delicate throat, your other hand gripping the hair at the nape of his neck. He knows to squeeze a little harder as you fall apart, the euphoria of the combination sending you over the edge.
Joel’s holding on for dear life, always focused on putting you first, always trying to prove your jokes of him being an old man wrong. But he can’t deny he’s nearly finished twice now, your pretty cunt all nice and warm for him.
What’s wrong with pushing you over the edge a little?
Joel abandons the hold on your throat as you still are witnessing the aftershocks of your orgasm, his two thick fingers circling over your swollen clit.
Joel smirks as your eyes snap open, your jaw dropping wide as you silently scream in pleasure. He nods sadistically, smirking as he overstimulates your already twitchy clit.
“You’re gonna give me another, right here, right now,” Joel grunts, stilling his hips as he’s buried to the hilt inside you, feeling your pussy clench around his cock as your gasps and strangled moans fill the room.
“Fuck, Joel I don’t think I can,” you cry out, bracing the wrist of the hand that’s still working figure-eights around your pearl. Joel watches as your chest rises and falls quickly, nipples at peaks as you continue to clench repeatedly around his cock.
“Know you can, baby, cum on this cock again. You’re a strong cowgirl, ain’t’cha? You been thinkin’ ‘bout this all day, getting this pretty girl drilled by me, know ya have.”
And he’s right. Shamefully so. Denying Joel looks good in and out of his cowboy attire is just nonsense. The way he rides his horse with his thighs snagged tight around its middle, gnawing on his toothpicks to ward off the need to smoke a cigarette or chew; at this point, it’s everything that he does that turns you on.
And maybe that’s why it’s so easy to give him a second one.
Your nails pierce into his skin as your hands grip his biceps, mewling and moaning something wrecked, feeling the warmth gather deep in your belly once more.
“Keep fuckin’ me, I didn’t say to stop,” you pant.
Joel disguises his laughter by meeting your lips with his own, giving you messy kisses that taste better than perfect ones. His hips and fingers work in tandem to force you over the edge. You’re shaking under him, your thigh muscles twitching with excitement, legs wrapping around his middle as he grows closer to his own finish.
Just as he feels like he’s going to give way, he can feel your pussy clenching around his aching cock, his tip brushing so perfectly against that spongy spot that sets your insides alight.
“Fuck,” he grits, ripping himself loose of your perfectly wasted cunt as he yanks over his length. One, two, three more times, and he’s spilling warm spend across your belly. The pretty splatters are like a Jackson Pollock. He stares in awe at how pretty you look getting finished on.
The bed dips as he falls into place beside you. He doesn’t lay idle. He reaches for some tissues from his bedside table, politely wiping away his mess as you stare at him with lustful eyes. You were so fucked out. Sorta cute.
“Quit,” he mutters, avoiding your eyes.
“You ain’t as old as I thought you were.” You whisper, a smirk tugging on the corners of your mouth.
Joel chuckles softly at your familiar tease. He's heard it countless times, but it never ceases to make him roll his eyes and pull you closer to him. He kisses your forehead affectionately, his voice carrying a hint of playful banter.
“You gonna keep remindin' me about my age every chance you get? Don’t stop ya from comin’ back each night.”
You lay your head on his chest and listen to his heart thump.
Joel’s got one arm slung around your shoulders, the other on your thigh that’s draped across his middle. His strong hand works slowly into your tired muscles. You play with the greying curls on his chest, taking note of the dark, nearly black ones still speckled throughout.
“Goodnight, old cowboy.” You say, patting his chest, hearing his slow laughter rumble from his chest.
“G’night, pain in my ass.”
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#joel miller#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#pedro pascal the last of us#pedro pascal joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller one shot#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#tlou#tlou fic#the last of us#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller x reader#joel tlou
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─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘪𝘪. (𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳) ⛵️
⤷ summary: miami and monaco. just lando being horribly down bad and y/n being at her wits end. poor oscar just can't escape the train wreck that is two losers with feelings and zero (0) emotional competency .
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liked by landonorris, ynusername, and 45,790 others
tagged oscarpiastri and landonorris
mclaren sorry to report that the only good thing about miami was the weather! (and the celebrities)
17,492 comments
user1 it's okay admin, you can say the car was shit
mclaren yeah the car was shit
user2 mclaren team is cursed i fear
mclaren alr where my witch baddies at? please unhex us pls pls pls
user3 uhm!!!????
mclaren desperate times desperate measures and all that jazz
user4 normal people: oh no the car is bad. yn: we're cursed for generations to come ☹️
landonorris i didn't get to meet shakira, what's the point of going on living
mclaren there is none! kys
landonorris oh wow
user5 nahhhh she gettin fired 💀
user6 not a single photo with lando's face 😭
user7 boohoo ☺️ OSCAR FANS, THEY BROKE BUT WE UP ‼️‼️‼️
user6 ok enough
landonorris post me challenge (difficult)
mclaren uh no (: go talk to hr bro we do not careeeeeee
user8 this beef is crazy, yall havent made up yet
user9 DOES ANYONE EVEN KNOW WHY THEYRE BEEFING 😭
oscarpiastri yeah
mclaren hey oscar! great race
oscarpiastri don't ever lie to my face like that again
maxfewtrell gonna build the car myself at this point
user10 i see a podium in our future everyone say thank you max
user11 y/n livestream when 😔
ynusername (;
user11 WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
user12 lando and admin flirting again, who could've guessed
user13 ... she told him to kill himself
user14 the enemies to lovers is enemying 🤩
user13 yeah, it's giving enemies to lovers but no lovers only murder
mclaren truth.
user12 ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HWRE
user15 mclaren, fire everyone and hire y/n as the engineer/ strategist/ driver/ pit crew/ pr
mclaren we winning 🥱
oscarpiastri you'd be the only one finishing cause everyone else would die ☝🏻
mclaren shut the fuck up oscar 🙄
user16 flying cars they said 😔
mclaren how the mighty have fallen
user17 WE THE BEST TEAM ON THE GRIDDDD YUHHH
mclaren i'm gonna hold your hand while i say this
user18 it's been 20 years since i've seen my husband 😞 (admin won't post pictures of lando anymore)
mclaren your husband is ugly as fuck
landonorris what the fuck!
mclaren get off your phone loser
user19 full oscar picture when (i'mbeg ging you please i needg it nowe)
mclaren BAD DOG DOWN OMFG
lilyzneimer i would argue you were the best part of miami
mclaren YOU ARE SO FINE YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEAUTIFUL GIRL 🤭
oscarpiastri GET AWAY FROM HER YOU FREAK 🤺
user20 y/n being unprofessional on the team page, who's shocked
mclaren and the world kept spinning
user21 we all know who was really shit here (looking at you lando)
mclaren it's not funny when you do it.
landonorris when she defends you 🥴
mclaren i'm telling a trusted adult danielricciardo
danielricciardo what the fuck makes you think i can be trusted
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would you like to join? yes or no
now loading...
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The image flickered onto the screen as the broadcast began. Lando, clothed comfortably in sweats, a cap, and his streaming headphones, looked briefly off camera to where his guests sat waiting to be introduced.
He glanced up at Streamlabs and was shocked to see he had upwards of 30,000 viewers. He had only just started the stream and many people had likely not even gotten the Twitch notification yet. He shook off his shock and plastered on his usual smirk.
Everything is fine. I am totally and completely fine.
"Welcome, welcome. How are you all doing today? There's a lot of people here already. What's the special occasion guys?" He joked, being met with a scoff from the girl to his left.
Everything is not fine at all.
Lando almost never felt nervous when he would stream. After all, he was just playing game with his friends, the chat comments streaming through at a speed he could barely read. Even then, being in Formula One for so long meant he was used to being watched, his every little move being observed nearly constantly since his debut in 2019.
And yet all it took was her presence and suddenly he was nervous. His palms were sweaty, his heart was beating at a mile a minute- honestly you would think he were racing. How could he be expected to be funny and charming when she was here. She never seemed to struggle much in the department. It was almost entirely natural for her. Being perfect was like breathing air to Y/n he suspected.
As he watched the chat messages stream past even quicker on his monitor, he finally caught Oscar's gaze out of the corner of his eye. The younger man quirked a brow at him. What's your problem? His teammate seemed to say. He ignored him. Stupid Oscar and his stupid opinions and his stupid, uncomplicated love life. Lando envied the Australian most days, but now he just wanted to punch him straight in the jaw.
"Alright, it seems like most people are here already, so I'll just get started. I'm sure you're all wondering who my special guests are. The suspense must be killing you surely," He teased his audience. He ignored the completely accurate guesses in his chat.
Was he so predictable that it could be assumed it was either his teammate, Y/n, or Max were his special guests? Or was this a more unfortunate warning sign that he was just plain old boring.
"Seems like most people in chat were smart enough to figure it out! Please give a warm welcome to my guests! The lovely, stunning, awe-inspiring Y/n!" He cheered as the girl groaned, rolling her chair forward so she was behind him and within the frame of the camera.
"Oh and also Oscar's here," Lando added boredly, voice almost entirely monotone. Oscar scoffed loudly and he shot into frame kicking Lando's chair roughly, almost knocking him over and startling a laugh out of the girl behind them.
"Your an asshole mate," Oscar scoffed. Lando didn't hear him. The melodic laughing in his ear from Y/n was quite frankly the only sound his brain could process.
Who knew a laugh could sound so beautiful.
Who knew I could be so god damn embarrassing, Lando thought miserably.
"Guys do you see what I have to put up with!? How I get any shit done around here is a wonder," Y/n scoffed, "Anyways, welcome everybody, this is my stream now." Lando squawked indignantly.
"Excuse you, your in my home!"
"Yeah, unfortunately," she muttered with an eye roll and Oscar laughed.
"You should be grateful! Although these aren't the circumstances I was hoping to have you here under for the first time," Lando said with a completely unsubtle wink.
Y/n grimaced and Oscar doubled over with the force of his laughter.
"Viewers I am so sorry, please leave now, I have no way to muzzle him and apparently I can't sensor him," Y/n scowled.
"I fear he might enjoy that," Oscar muttered with a shake of his head.
Oh you motherfucker, Lando thought. Talk about subtle.
"If it was you, I probably would," Lando said to the girl and she planted her palm into the center of his face and shoved him lightly.
"Oh gross, cooties or STDs or whatever it is you men carry," Y/n shook her hands off and fake gagged.
"EXCUSE ME!" Lando shouted as Oscar nearly fell out of his chair.
"You're excused!"
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Y/n was holding on to her sanity by a thread. Or whatever was smaller than a thread... a hair or something. They had been answering fan questions for nearly 15 minutes already and Lando had decided today would be the day he would do nothing but flirt with her incessantly. He was like a child with a question or dog with a bone; He wouldn't let it the fuck go.
The sound of text-to-speech beginning dragged Y/n out of her thought spiral.
"Lando, what is your favorite video you've ever filmed?" The question asked.
Oh brother, Y/n thought. She looked at Oscar and he only laughed. How helpful.
"Probably the water TikTok challenge," Oscar hummed in agreeance.
"Why?" Y/n asked in confusion. She realized belatedly that asking Lando anything right now was probably a bad idea. She had set herself up this time.
"I don't know, I'm just a personal fan of anything that involves your hands in my hair," He smirked and she rolled her eyes. Her stomach flipped as she looked at his eyes. How could such a stupid, stupid man have such nice eyes (and lips, and teeth, and-).
"Well that's interesting," She smirked back, leaning her body toward him, ignoring the way she was blushing down to her chest. Her ears felt hot. It was hard to focus when she felt like she was burning alive, an unfortunate side effect that seemed to come with the irritating Brit in front of her.
"That was my favorite too," she added and Lando's eyes widened. Oscar looked at her in confusion over Lando's head.
"Really?" Lando asked, suprise clear in his voice. His smirk fell away for only a moment, but it was long enough for Y/n to notice.
Poor little Lando Norris, she thought. A bit too easy to read, this one.
"Yep," she grinned, before letting her face fall. "I'm a big fan of anything that means I can drown you." She responded in a monotone voice. Oscar cackled. The poor guy had hardly been asked any questions. Y/n found she didn't feel too bad anyway. The asshole was enjoying her suffering far too much.
Y/n knew the chat was going wild at their interactions, but she didn't really find herself caring. Maybe this was a bad look from a PR stand point, but then again didn't they always say "any press is good press."
Y/n wondered if the idiots who said that had ever had an inappropriate attraction to their asshole of a coworker, who just so happened to be public figure with fans who were becoming more aware of the tension with every day that interacted.
Probably fucking not.
Y/n watched as Lando's faux upset face cracked into a smile as he began to laugh heartily. She couldn't help but smile. Y/n was finding it hard to hold onto whatever grudge she had before. Maybe Lando Norris and his perfect smile, and his stupid jokes and his charming attitude weren't all that bad. Maybe, just maybe.
But they had absolutely no affect on her. None at all.
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liked by maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, and 38,924 others
tagged landonorris
ynusername monaco post-gp (help me this guy is stalking me i can't get rid of him help hel
11,209 comments
user22 damn he took out my girl mid-sentence 😔
user23 Y/N POSTED LANDO?? AM I DREAMING?? AM I HAVING A STROKE??? OH GOD AM I DEAD
user24 girl calm the fuck down
user25 DOES THIS MEAN THE BEEF IS OVER
ynusername yes! (he has a gun to my head)
user26 LANY/N SHIPPERS WE RISE ONCE MORE
user27 get it together, they've posted together ONCE
user28 is lany/n in the room with us
user29 "lando and y/n getting along isn't real, it can't hurt you!" OH REALLY
landonorris i had other plans but i cancelled them to be your tour guide, you're welcome
ynusername me when i fucking lie
oscarpiastri do my eyes decieve me
ynusername shut up oscar
landonorris yeah shut up oscar
user30 couples that fight their friend together, stay together
ynusername i can and will block you 😃
user30 oh.
oscarpiastri no it's fine i didn't want to be invited
oscarpiastri i totally hate the ocean, it's not like i surf or anything
oscarpiastri looks boring, would've hated to go on a boat
landonorris other than the fact that i lost my flip flop in the ocean, it was fun i guess
user31 good job lando this came off exactly as nonchalant as you hoped king
ynusername HAHA LOSER YOU LOST YOUR SHOE
oscarpiastri I LOST SOMETHING ONCE 😞
user32 close enough, welcome back brocedes
ynusername literally what is the correlation here
user32 idk leave me alone
user33 um so this is actually insane
user34 i screamed so loud my neighbors called the cops because they thought i was being murdered
user35 can you be normal
user36 this might be the first original experience
user35 no, not original, just embarrassing
user37 i want to be excited about this but it feels so sinister
ynusername good, it should be
maxfewtrell never in my 23 years of living could i have expected this (lando messaged me to tell me what he was doing today)
user38 posting a comment is optional
maxfewtrell i have fomo, can i live
user39 lany/n shippers all around the world cheered
user40 oh you different friend!
user41 onto something ❌ on something ✅
user42 and the crowd is... the crowd is leaving??
user43 my crew lets go
user44 "war is over" we all say in unison
oscarpiastri not likely 💀
user23 HELLO OMFHADFSLJ
danielricciardo oh so you can hang out with him in monaco but not with me
ynusername sorry babygirl 😔 i didn't mean to abandon you
danielricciardo ew never fucking mind
maxverstappen1 i live in monaco too! hope this helps
ynusername i knew that already! hope this helps
maxverstappen1 oh.
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ynusername posted to story!
(caption: he won't leave me alone, this is sick)
17,822 replies
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landonorris posted to story!
(caption: she's trying to convince me it's cold out... girl no it is not)
24,006 replies
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I AM SOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK 5 MILLION YEARS TO BE UPDATED!! i am hoping to be more consistent moving forward, but my schedule is a bit of a mess with school. hopefully i'll be able to get some requests fulfilled soon as well though!
most importantly, thank you so much for all the love and support on this fic!! the amount of comments, asks, and dms asking about updates was staggering and it makes me so happy that you all like to so much (: receiving such positive feedback for this fic has honestly rejuvenated my love for writing so much, and i can't express how much the support means to me.
please keep leaving comments and dms with your thoughts, i love reading them <3 hope u enjoyed!
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𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666
#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#formula 1#f1#f1 smut#f1 x you#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 smau#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris#lando norris imagine#racew1nn3rs: fake it till you make it#racew1nn3rs
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(nsfw) friends w/ benefits!bakugou katsuki headcanons
mdni: explicit & implied sexual content. nsfw under the cut
bakugou katsuki x fem!reader, friends with benefits, sexual tension, blowjobs in the classroom. definitely not inspired by my ex fwb-turned-bf haha (it is 1000%)
it was written exams season, and you were stressed. you distanced yourself from your classmates, and started ignoring mina's text messages inviting you to momo's room for your usual group study sessions. you felt a little bad, but you've always been more productive when studying alone.
katsuki was stressed too. he sat behind you in class, and over the course of the past week, it was as if his pen-clicking tendencies grew proportionally to his stress. click, click, click, click, click. it didn't bug you, though. if anything, you were worried.
katsuki was usually quiet in lessons, but he'd been sighing more. you don't blame him. there was so much content to be memorised. so many chapter sections and parts.
class had ended, and your classmates were already streaming out of the room, but you were still packing your things up. apparently, katsuki was still packing up too.
"fuckin' hell," katsuki groaned under his breath. you heard aggressive page-flipping behind you. you looked behind out of concern.
katsuki's sharp gaze flickers up from the thick stack of notes on his table. when he meets your gaze, you note that his glare lacks its usual ferocity. he looks tired.
"what?" he snaps at you. a second passes, and you see his glare falter. his brows furrow slightly.
"you good?" you ask anyway.
"me? are you good?" you blink, and then realise that you probably look like a zombie after the all-nighter you pulled.
you try to say that you're fine, but katsuki raises a brow at you, so you shake your head. yeah no, you are absolutely not good right now.
"not really. m'really stressed," you sighed.
"you gettin' any sleep?"
you shake your head.
"you should sleep."
"i know."
"you need rest."
"i know."
you sigh, and you turn away from katsuki to pick up your bag. you should probably head back to your room and continue studying—
"m'stressed too," katsuki admits quietly. he doesn't meet your gaze when you turn to look at him again.
"oh," you hum absentmindedly. you're not sure what you should be saying to him. it was bakugou katsuki, after all. he didn't want or need your pity. what would katsuki want? what could you offer katsuki?
you must be really sleep-deprived and definitely not in your right mind, because you undo the first few buttons of your shirt and start to retie your ponytail.
"want some help?" you ask, sounding a little more hopeful than you'd intended. you hope katsuki got the hint.
katsuki stares at you through narrowed eyes. he's quiet, so it feels like your proposition is just hanging heavy in the air between the both of you. you're mentally screaming at yourself, wondering what the fuck you're doing, but it's too late for you to back out, so you just meet katsuki's steady gaze and pray he doesn't notice the blush dusting your cheeks (he definitely does)
"yeah," katsuki finally says. he drops his notes and one of his hands disappears under the table. you can't help the way your eyes follow the movement, and you watch shamelessly as katsuki unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants.
katsuki looks at you through empty, tired eyes. he knows he's not in his right mind either. he would've never asked for such a thing from you, he respects you too much for that. you're his classmate. his friend, and one of his most trusted ones at that.
but katsuki isn't blind. he has eyes. he knows you're stupidly hot. he'd never admit it, but he's spent a few nights jerking off to the thought of your plush, wet lips around him.
katsuki isn't in his right mind, but even if he were, he's not sure he'd ever be able to turn down such a proposition from you.
katsuki pulls his boxers down, and his cock springs out. it's thick and pink and veiny and you rub your thighs together restlessly.
katsuki shifts his chair back and nods towards the now-empty space between his legs. "c'mere."
you end up on your knees, under katsuki's table, with a mouthful of cock.
"holy fuck," katsuki hisses through gritted teeth when you open your pretty lips and your hot breath hits the head of his cock. there's a bead of precum along his slit, and katsuki lets out a quiet whine when your tongue darts out to lick along it.
katsuki's embarrassed, immediately bringing a hand over his mouth. he moans into his palm when you press a wet kiss on the underside of his cock, right below his head. he wonders where you learnt how to do this, who taught you how to suck cock this, who else had you between their legs like this, when it could've been, should've been him. katsuki swallows his anger and jealousy.
"katsuki," you whisper, and katsuki swears he almost came right there and then. he hums in response. "wanna hear you. wanna know i'm doin' a good job."
and who was katsuki to deny you?
"oh, fuck," katsuki moans, low and guttural, when you finally wrap your lips around him and sink your mouth down on his cock. you're so good for him, he thinks as he squeezes his eyes shut and wills himself not to nut right down your throat.
katsuki opens his eyes when the head of his cock hits the back of your throat. you're deepthroating him, and he thinks he's going insane.
you're looking up at him with your mouth stuffed with his cock, yet you somehow manage to look so cute and almost innocent, batting your lashes prettily at katsuki.
your eyes are teary and you moan something around his cock. you look so pathetic, but you look like you're absolutely loving it. katsuki loves it too.
"so good f'me, baby," katsuki grabs the end of your ponytail and wraps it around his hand and pulls. "wanna ruin you. mess up that pretty mouth. show me how good you are at sucking cock, yeah?"
katsuki almost regrets egging you on, because you start bobbing your head up and down and it feels so fucking good. katsuki throws his head back and moans brokenly, and he's so fucking glad the last person to leave the classroom was smart enough to close the fucking door. you both sounded filthy, with your wet sloppy slurping and his loud ass moans.
"shit, fuck," katsuki feels his dick throb at the sensation of your tongue against his cock. "slow down, fuck, m'so fuckin' close, fuck—"
you ignore him. your jaw hurts like fuck right now and your legs are so sore, but you love this. love sucking katsuki's cock, love making him feel good.
so you bob your head up, down, up, down, until katsuki spills into your throat with a cry.
"cumming, fuck," katsuki squeezes his eyes shut. his hips stutter as he rides out his orgasm, fucking into your throat and forcing his cum down your throat.
you keep katsuki in your mouth until his dick starts to grow soft and he whines at the overstimulation.
"feel better?" you asked, voice fucked raw.
"yeah," katsuki reaches down to pat your head affectionately. "thanks."
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#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugo x reader#bakugou imagine#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#bnha imagines#bakugou headcanons#bakugou smut#bnha smut#mha smut#bakugou katsuki x you#bakugou katsuki smut
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