#I truly peaked with this one guys
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WARNING LOUD VOLUME MAYBE??? I can never tell when it’s uploaded vs edited—so maybe lower the volume just as a precaution since I don’t wanna be the cause of someone’s ears ringing jksjsksp
Oh yea uh—posted this on YouTube today. Help I’m too deeply invested right now oh boy oh goodie can’t wait to see my deranged psychopathic man mercilessly torment everyone in the worst possible ways before getting himself pummeled to a pulp (and maybe killed off but SHUSH GUYS let’s glimpse over that for another moment here)
#I started cackling when editing the explosion in there#I truly peaked with this one guys#ANYWAYSSSSSS#time for ramble on Puzzles psyche#The inflicting payback for his personal suffering is real but I feel like both sides are gonna get wrecked#like even if it starts with unbalanced power scaling (Puzzles being in control) things are gonna level out#just like how in Puzzlevison it seemed like he had the upper hand for a long while#but since history has a funny way of repeating itself Puzzles plans will collapse again#at least that’s what I envision as theory based on basic storytelling beats lol#I’m not gonna speculate anything else because I want to be as open minded to every possibility#I’m just here for the RIDEEEEE YEAAAAAA#random#shitpost#wotfi 2024#2024 war of the fat Italians#hplonesome art
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LOVE his kansai dialect so much huge shoutout to his seiyuu (kengo kawanishi) here’s 34 seconds of it from the new episode
(also whilst confirming that i wasn’t saying the wrong shit i found a thread on how his dialect gets translated in the manga from an official translator!)
#if u told me one week ago when i was rereading kn8 that id be giving this much fucks about hoshina AND a pairing from it i’d be laughing at#u. however the only person i can laugh at rn is myself#hoshina#soshiro hoshina#sorry guys. I’m truly so sorry#kaiju no.8#just block me 🫡#also other vid got flagged can we not enjoy nice things and my hoshimina agenda?#egg boils#ITS SO CITE HOW WHEN HES COMPLAINING HE GOES FULL ON ACCENT#What the hell i just took a peak at his wiki n he voices aventurine too.. like no wonder.#man#i like hoshina this is messed up..#give me more mina moments pleaseeeeeee <- excitedly awaits episode 11 i think#fave
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I would commit murder to see the interview these pictures are from
#im feeling very monza 2011 today i guess!!!#nah but seriously PLEASE I WANT TO WATCH THIS SO BAD#I NEED CONTEXT FOR THEIR INCREDIBLY AWKWARD HUG#let me describe these photos for you bcs they are all just peak vettonso:#the first one where theyre smiling and looking at each other 🥰🥰🥰#and the second where theyre both smiling at the interviewer(?)#third and fourth i describe as: twink about to pounce#like seriously seb what is he talking about that is making you look at him like you want to eat him#fifth is sending me like ITS SO AWKWARD AND I LOVE IT#just my fav thing about 2010s vettonso where seb is so excitable and touchy and etc#and nando is like: i dont want to be here rn get him off me DJKFLGL#stop it Fernando. i know you want to.#and then last one idk i really like it. you guys know how i feel abour chairs.#i guess to me theres something about how differently they're sitting#like seb is more open and relaxed and Fernando is a lot more curled up and small#ANYWAYS WHERE IS THE VIDEO OF THIS 😭😭😭😭 I NEED IT#this actually adds to my bafflement abt their dynamic at this gp#bcs this is how the race wknd starts off and isnt it truly wonderful? that fernando then says 3 days later: fuck u my boy#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#2011 italian gp#we do a little bit of f1
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Trigger Happy Havoc may be the part of the franchise I talk about the least in Junko's analysis(after V3 ofc lol). Which is funny considering that's her first real appearance but like, it's also just the start of everything we learn about her and you get the real meat from DR 0 and beyond
#crane-talk#junko enoshima#like don't get me wrong here obv THH is still very important#but it's like. how do I put this#in THH she was a cool twist villain#it was when the series kept going and her influence gets progressively larger#and more developed. she goes from funny twist villain to#the face of Despair and you can feel her presence in the series even when no one's said her name yet#she got stronger as the series continued. The master manipulator in the shadows of her own spotlight#I like to think part of the reason everyone hates her brainwashing arc in dr3 is because it's the only time we're seeing things truly from#her perspective. like with dr0 it was still Ryoko and it was like this version of her that was expressly incomplete#but in dr3 despair we hear and watch her directly making her plans and setting up her plot#and it strips her of a good chunk of her mystique in favor of a logical explanation for hope's peak's downfall#anyways uhhhhh dr0. good shit guys#I've been psychoanalyzing Junko/Ryoko duality so much it's hit the point I've had to cut myself off#Ryoko will be getting her own in-depth analysis later down the line so she'll get much more focus someday. But today we talk about how her#existence pertains to Junko and her motivations/strengths/etc etc#have a lovely day everybody
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things i miss after spending a week with my family
hugs. constant hug availability and reciprocation is something so unmatched
playing games. the fact that i don't have a single irl friend rn who would realistically be down for a game night is frankly tragic. our parents taught us hand and foot toward the beginning of the week and when i say we played nearly every day..
people understanding my references. my roommate told me recently that she doesn't understand 99% of the things i say, but that's just because she isn't privy to the language i share with my sibs and rents <3
people coming to check on me (or just sitting with me) when i'm having a rough time.
not feeling the need to seek out the internet for social fulfillment, and getting to use it as a bonus <3
the creativity
the laughter
the slipping into old habits. my sister and i designed a game (irl clue) for us all to play and forced everyone to join us. incredibly on par for us since birth.
my family <3
#my sis and i got to have a sleepover one night and i swear if she doesn't visit me in the city so we can recreate it for a whole weekend...#truly one of the peak moments of the trip im not even kidding#i miss them all#but i really really miss my sister#i said something at one point about how she has this like super power when it comes to calming me down from a freak out#and my dad was like... honestly i think it's just that you guys are more willing to listen to each other.#and i was like.. woah.#like yeah. that's probably true. like like he said after.. my dad could say the same things and i would not hear a word#but when it comes to my sister and i.. idk we really just have our own language i guess that goes beyond words#.. big sigh#the sibs#the fam#what i live for#jules talks (and talks)
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such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨
#(please forgive this old folk’s rambling for a hot min bc i need to get this off my chest somehow and in some way)#tl;dr: come and get into the hw idol series!!! we have ship discourse; more ship discourse; even more ship discourse#(yes ik people should be free to ship what they do b u t claiming a noncanon ship as canon and forcing it on everyone else is. not cool.)#yes yes friday’s mv was visually cute and ino.rin’s singing was peak b u t i feel like it has caused more harm than good in some way???#i cant b e l i e v e the jp hwtwt beef over friday’s mv is still going on mannnnnnnnn#no less than 3 separate people have made posts along the lines of#‘p l s stop using [official tags] to post about *[unnamed] non-official ships* p l s there’s a time and place for everything’#and n o n e of them even remotely run in the same circles yet they’re all banded together against a *certain* group lmfao never change hwtwt#lhy (esp yhy) shippers are always at the scene of the crime mannnnnnn#i cant see anything on their end of the naval battle (has every single lhy tag+account that i could think of blocked)#b u t it’s still really funny to witness on my twtdash against my will. i think i need to touch grass#‘kyhn isn’t canon either so why do you like it while being such a hater towards lhy—‘#great question!!!!!! it’s bc (disregarding the movie) they actually interact really well together~~~ like the honeypre event y k—#and also bc yukki treats hina really nicely all the time (even when she was being tsun and literally running from her feelings for him)#a n d hina loved him for who he truly was; even before his image change arc. and she also does her best to appeal to him and such~~~~~~~#but lhy. uh. they just bully hiyo 95% of the time and while they do look out for her bc they’re pals#they’re just pals. guys. and lxl have gone ‘uwu it must be u uwu’ to each other one too many times so shoehorning hiyo between them would.#be pretty weird ngl? esp since the ‘widely accepted’ portrayal of lhy as a trio is p much just hiyo x 2 dudes who dont even like each other#and. like. a branch of such portrayals usually seem to have aizo waft away from the ‘r/s triad’ to date mona instead which is. very weird.#some people just pick and choose aizo and mona interactions dont they. all they see is the umbrella scene and go ‘ah yes. canon’#they dont even read further to see how mona doesn’t even use the umbrella after aizo leaves (clear rejection)#a n d how aizo doesn’t even remember giving the umbrella to mona + mona’s entire existence in general after that#and that’s not even counting the grudge mona refuses to let go of even after what looks to be literal months#so for certain shippers to just casually shoo aizo out of the hiyoharem and into mona’s unwilling arms for the sake of yhy is. weird.#and like. shouldn’t he and yujiro have a say in this?? they’re more interested in each other than hiyo so just how are they being commonly#portrayed as hiyosimps in fanon? im so confused��� like. wouldn’t they be equally obsessed with each other (as w/ hiyo) if they were a rstrio?#aaaaaa get this off my twtdash plsssssssss pls see this post twtapp pls let this affect your dumb algorithm im tired of the ship discourseee#as funny as the ‘lhy vs the world’ naval warfare is it’s getting. um. very annoying!!!! and now im missing nagisa more than ever s o b s#plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls influence the algorithm ragepost; ik big brother is 👀watching👀 so do your thing—#(pls feel free to duke it out with me too if y’all read this i need my birdsite algorithm to le a r n that i dont wanna see stuff like this)
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I absolutely have 0 desire to bring a child into this world for many reasons, including ones from many different axis, so I don't see it changing, but the anti natalist folks are fucking evil man lol. I haven't seen the worst of the world, so my optimism can be and probably is just naivety, but hating the idea of having kids and judging(!) other people for getting them because the world is irredeemably evil is such a "I have depression and this philosophical thing is relatable so it must be how the world works" take. Just looked up the tag on here and someone said that in this world, misery is guaranteed, and happiness is not, and like. Point me to a human that has never, not once in their life, has experienced joy.
#//rambles#I kind of get the idea though#It's just that once I've read this idea that unhappiness in life serves the purpose of making the happiness in it truly worth it#And it's kind of changed me#THAT and if you were a depressed teen and aren't now you feel fuckinh. Undefeated. I'mma go smell flowers and love life bitch#Maybe this made it worth it even if I'm gonna recover for the rest of my life probably#Can't imagine being one of those people who peaked in high school and are now depressed because of that that's for sure#If you can't imagine feeling happy in the world there's treatment for that nowadays! Even treatment resistant depression is researched rn#Also as implied in the post don't judge and don't be judged is a big philosophy of mine#And could you guys guess who's the main proponent of the stuff on tumblr? Radfems#As a russian I've been orbiting that stuff all my internet presence and the chronical judgement of these people is fucking killing me man#It's so easy to be a doomscrolling echo chamber dwelling judgemental asshole in these sort of internet spaces#Not giving a fuck about society's bigotry and saying hard truths despite that is GOALS and very cool but it's so not that for these people#Same for the reddit black or red pill types idk much about them though#Idk existential philosophers go take in the beauty of the world challenge#Just some thoughts
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unstoppable force (desire to post about how pretty and gorgeous jack is) vs immovable object (knowing it will flop because everyone is still under the shared delusion that he’s a baby) vs unstoppable force (needing to express how absolutely beautiful and lovely he is anyways) vs immovable object (ingrained notion that little to no traction renders my online presence worthless)
#cal.txt#sometimes I have nothing coherent to say about him and I’m just. utterly enamored with how absolutely pretty he is#did I ever tell you guys that one of my most formative memories of being newly fixated on jack in eighth grade - maybe ninth atp -#was thinking that only the word ‘pretty’ specifically could ever accurately describe him#like maybe it was the ongoing asexuality keeping me from being comfortable with the words hot and sexy#but I truly do believe that Pretty is the peak word ever for jack . like he is just so pretty#oh myngod wait I have a shitpost about this#I have so many shitposts from when I was younger#I should post them#jack kline#jack spn#supernatural
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thinking about my Tokyo Ghoul au I made for Danganronpa. It was meant to be kind of its own thing, not necessarily doing THH and not necessarily copying the plot beats of Tokyo Ghoul. Either way Makoto takes Kaneki’s place kind of, mainly bc when I read the opening I could not stop thinking about what supernaturally bad luck Kaneki had. And the way Kaneki ended up being the “bridge between two worlds” and represented justice and a means to an end for BOTH sides at different points gave me ‘Ultimate Hope’ vibes. At the same time Kaneki could EASILY be replaced with Hajime due to the conspiracy that Kaneki’s accident was done on purpose to basically experiment on someone to see if they could create the hope they needed. Only reason I didn’t jump to it is bc back then I was sticking Makoto in any scenario I wanted AND there’s another Tokyo Ghoul character that fits Hajime’s story. Anyway. I wanted to toy with the idea of someone who values life and helping others so deeply as Makoto being forced to do horrible things or else lose himself entirely. Becoming something you feared and only viewed as a monster until they revealed themselves to be people, but still horrified to find yourself in the middle. I think Makoto would have a unique reaction and I think he’d lean much more towards self sacrifice and helping try to get both sides to see each other’s humanity much faster than Kaneki did or Hajime would. But he’d also be ashamed and scared of what he’d become and desperate not to hurt anyone, which would be a disaster in the making as the longer a Ghoul goes without eating a person, the more beast like and unhinged they become. It’s not ALL that much different from a vampire au save the fact that there’s no option to just. get a little blood from a living person and leave them just slightly woozy or raid blood bags from donations. You HAVE to seriously injure someone or outright kill them to live, which is what separates the two.
#I’m rambling and losing the ability to type so this may be incoherent sorry#all my memories of the shit I did with Danganronpa has come flooding back to me in waves#I had art of Makoto and Hajime’s kagune somewhere LOL#Makoto’s was like a vine with thorns that could shoot out like bullets. I may workshop that if I ever revisit it though#Hajime’s was essentially a Kagune version of Izuru’s long tendrils of hair. this mass of dark tendrils#almost like a kraken#I MAY change Makoto’s to be the wing ones though bc they can shoot shards (Touka for example) and it could have the bullet effect#in which case I’d give Hajime the vines for an ‘overgrown’ look#Togami is secretly a ghoul from a very affluent house much like that guy that runs the colliseum in TG#Kirigiri works for the. fuck what’s their name. the group that investigates ghouls#but can’t stand the way her father runs things#lots of other shit. I genuinely considered making Junko a normal human who just is the same btw#instead of giving her Rise’s role just making her normal Junko. which would be fun#my idea in that case would have been for Hajime as Izuru to be the ghoul who’s kagune is used on Naegi to make him half goul#OR it could be some random ghoul for whom Naegi’s luck plays a factor#that’s right I’m keeping Hope’s Peak Academy in this the world in this au is well and truly fucked one way or another
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Now for the final round!
@hellsitegenetics
I love them
I didn't know I needed to know that the weed-smoking girlfriends post was genetically a wolf, but I did, and I do. Also puts great stuff on my dash.
it’s so fun to be scrolling unhinged posts and then boom. an organism!
so many moths‼ also, unexpected comedy with some of the matches
perfect blend of silly and informative, and makes for an excellent punchline at the end of a long post. puts creatures on my dash. literally what more could you ask for
It's a really unique blog concept and a lot of times the results are pretty funny. It's great when the sequence matches the post content too!
Creatures 👍
Finds beautiful creatures out of the mess of the hellsite
Offers finality AND gives us a creechur.
I love them. English speakers talk like moths
If this blog wins, they could run the text of the winning announcement, and determine the post's genus and species!
They're also very good about tagging the type of creature depicted in the results, so as long as you mute tags of creatures you don't want to see, it's a very fun time seeing iconic legacy posts (and new submissions) being reduced down to a string of letters and assigned a random species of fish or moth or something!
uhh it’s cool
BLAST
There are so many weird bugs in the world
Yippee!!
If, as Haldane said, God has an inordinate fondness for beetles, then surely this blog proves that Tumblr has an inordinate fondness for moths.
Top tier blog as a geneticist, I love seeing obscure organisms and MOTH
Admin got rate limited after trying to blast the bee movie
the knowledge of biology to pull this off (i have taken one biology class in my life) and also the work to find all the strings honestly deserves quite a bit of praise
This gimmick blog has it all: science, pictures of animals, interaction with the text of other peoples' posts, interesting information, and a unique and fun premise. As a biologist, I'm rooting for hellsitegenetics to reach the end and take the tournament, because it is truly a standout among gimmick blogs.
If they win, perhaps this blog too shall become a cool organism :3
@hasgavlebockenburneddownyet
What's more happy holiday cheer than cheering on the destruction of a giant straw goat?
The birds may have won 2023, but I believe in humanity's capability for arson for 2024 <3
a vote for me is a vote for arson! This message was approved by hasgavlebockenburneddownyet
gavle is SUCH a public service and holiday feature
what's more tumblr than comical destruction and holidays?
sometimes you just gotta vote with your matchsticks
Bringing a cultural staple to tumblr since 2021
Arson is so much more fun
It would be really funny and ironic if it survives the tournament
you have no idea how much joy watching the chronicling of the gavlebocken brings me every year
hasgavlebockenburneddownyet provides an essential public service
always love seeing a bit of Swedish history on my dash 'Swedish bamboo season'
the goat account is peak gimmick blog
If I don't get to beat the goat then nobody does. -pointless-achievements
Never ask Tumblr to choose between lies and arson! The winner threatens by nature to rip apart the very fabric of our DNA!
goat statues made out of straw are exciting and interesting
I wanna see things burn
the goat is an essential part of tumblr culture and the goat blog is a sacred keeper of the tumblr high holidays
watching to see if the big straw goat has burned down each year is a true delight, something I never knew existed until tumblr and the blog dedicated to it
the incredibly focused nature of @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is what makes their gimmick superior.
Please guys bite gavlebocken
Look, I'm Danish. I was put on this earth to annoy the Swedes and vice versa, but even I voted for @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet
gavlebocken is also such a fun name and this blog informed be about its existence, so for that I am grateful
hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is providing a vital service! Every year, people rely on their updates regarding the fate of our most beloved Yule Goat! How could they NOT deserve the win!?
sacred anti-corporate arson
a vote for gävlebocken is a vote for anarchy!
pls vote for them they're the funniest gimmick keeping track on the funniest phenomena in recent human history, like when i look at their acc i think to myself this is what tumblr was created for
the goat is the GOAT
HASGAVLEBOCKENBURNEDDOWNYET DESERVES TO WIN, I have them on post alert for a REASON
the holiday season wouldn't be the same without them
they do important reporting. Do you look at the news and be like 'the reporters aren't doing work they're just telling you whats happening.' Have some respect for the goat news
let the weird burnt sacrificial ritual of it all appeal to you
nothing makes my December more interesting, arson should win
doesn't barge in on other peoples posts which is always a good thing in my books. not a fan when obnoxious gimmick blogs turn a decent post into a garbled mess
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finally found a way to read all the raws of TME ive been patiently waiting for and oh my god
Lyla is such a fucking funny protagonist i love her. The way she keeps being clever makes her adorable too.
but also baby Lyla and Daniel's relationship is so fucking cute to me I wanna headpat both of them they're baby together
and then the empress!!! displaying the exact same behaviors as Helene from the shaking of her hands to the nervous expression on her face!!! they really are like mother like daughter (and man can i not hate Arne as a character ahaha. I know she's like,,, the arguably worst character so far in the story but Arne is stupidly well written I actually care for her A Lot. which is a tangent i WILL save for another day but like. damn. every goddamn character in this story is loveable to bits and I love how it's hard to truly hate anyone in this story)
#the mighty extra: one girl changes the world#manwha#im fucking gushing over Daniel being a qpt big brother-ish figure to Lyla atm#If Sienna ever gets resurrected can she please ditch the Emperor and adopt Daniel and Helene#and maybe also establish a friendly relationship with Arne when they both ditch the emperor??#everyone in this manga/manwha is so qpt-coded i fucking adore it#from Fian/Lyla to Daniel & Lyla & Sienna to every other goddamn relationship in here#if ever i need to point out the definition of what queerplatonic means#this manga is fucking it ahahahaha#also i may seem like i hate the emperor but no i like him#his motives make sense#he's in a fucked-up situation that's driven him to a literal breaking point#i mean the guy can't catch a break no wonder he's such an ass#i don't think there's truly any antagonist in this story who is impossible to root for#not even the Kylon Emperor is hateable 'cause like#he's an understandable person#and now i have a better idea of why Paris keeps trying his damndest to become Emperor like man poor Paris#please i need to shout about this manga it's such a fucking ride peak storytelling for real
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hi hello sorry to bother you (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ but i've been meaning to watch jjba but i watched s1 a few years back nd didnt really like it :< so i was wondering if you have any advice
You’re not bothering me at all, darling! Thank you for asking me 💖 First off, hey, don’t worry if you didn’t/don’t end up liking it! Jojo is definitely … bizarre and not everyone’s cup of tea. It’s not an easy thing to recommend because Jojo will throw lots of things at you and you just gotta accept it real quick.
My advice is honestly, just bear with Part 1 (Phantom Blood with Jonathan and Dio). I firmly believe Jojo gets better with every successive part and Part 1 doesn’t do the best job of delivering at first (deadass I think you could skip the episodes after Jonathan meets Zeppeli towards the final few episodes and miss nothing). I think Part 1 is one of those things that gets better/more appreciated on later rewatches, but it can be a slog the first time around. So don’t worry, it’s kind of a usual feeling for many (I know it took me about my third try before I finally finished and it clicked). Part 1 was the first part and Araki was just getting started, things eventually pick up speed.
The subsequent parts in Jojo also follow a different pattern or style, so if you don’t necessarily enjoy one of them, you might enjoy another! Part 2 is definitely more of an action packed adventure, Part 3 is a monster of the week story across the world, part 4 is a murder mystery, part 5 is a mafia export mission, part 6 is Orange is the new black, etc etc. You probably get the picture.
I can’t really force you to enjoy Jojo, but I can just say that it gets way better and more creative as it goes along. Getting past the first one or two parts can feel like a slog but I believe it’s worth it. And if you feel like it’s not something you can enjoy, then by all means, don’t continue! It’s meant to be fun, not a chore 😊💖 I hope this could somewhat help??
#rambles#jojo#like listen I’m your number one jojo bootlicker I love this series to death#and I believe it is truly peak and one of the best things ever#but I also know it’s very bizarre#I think jojo is one of those ‘love it or hate it’ type of things#because it requires you to just Get Used To These Things super fast#like you’re supposed to take this Italian playboy with sun breathing energy bubbles seriously while he fights an Aztec god of wind#or a Japanese mangaka almost losing his life playing rock paper scissors#or a French guy living in a turtle#you just gotta accept that shit right away or you’re not having a good time#like this reminds me of that one tumblr post about the ‘bullet repelling oil’ like. yeah. they just say it and move on#and the balls on Araki amaze me
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MDNI slight suggestive and language
Ghost definitely has a motorcycle and a truck. He'll drive the truck when he knows it'll be a long day doing intel and paperwork. But especially on a Friday when the workload is light, he’ll come in on his bike knowing he’ll be able to enjoy the ride.
He started riding the bike more when you gave the comment-
Guys who ride motorcycles are ten times more attractive with their bike
You didn’t say it to him per se but rather to a friend of yours on base, and he overheard. He likes to think that the bike is his good luck charm, as you agreed to a first date when he drove it. But despite you loving the bike as much as you loved him, he never let you on it. Always exclaiming it would be too dangerous.
He's in the garage, music playing lightly from the speaker as he cleans and messes with some of the gears. You watch in awe at the door. Never in a million years did you think you would be here. In Lt’s old t-shirt, sipping tea and watching him indulge in normalcy on a Sunday afternoon. When you transferred to the base, you always heard rumors about the man behind the mask and the name Ghost. But behind that was this man full of love.
“Enjoying the show, darling?” He said, looking up from the bike to see you.
“Just admiring.” You said.
“The bike or the rider?” He said smirking.
You admired and mirrored that smirk. Something you thought you would never see in your lifetime. But after trials of trust, the mask and guards came down, bearing all the luggage, and past to your welcoming arms.
“Both,” you said, walking over to him. He was seated on a chair and leaned back to welcome you in between his legs.
He peered up, his eyes glimmering in the sunlight that peaked through the window.
“Let me ride.” You said, peering down.
“You can ride me anytime.” He said, being cheeky.
You groaned at his antics and pouted towards him.
“Do you not trust me on your precious baby, Si?”
He looked between you and the bike. It wasn’t that he didn't trust you. He knows how dangerous riding is. He doesn’t want to let you on just in case something happens. He’s come to terms with something happening to him a long time ago. But you. He just got you and would put you in a bubble if it meant keeping you safe.
“I trust you. I just don't trust others.” He says, moving a piece of hair from your face. He moves his hand to cup your jaw. He guided you to his lips for a quick peck.
You leave your forehead on him while he moves his hands down to your hips.
He can tell you were annoyed with your answers. You guys bonded over this bike and he truly believes that being able to ride it one day was the only thing keeping you around.
That was far from the truth. You just wanted to straddle something other than Simons's dick.
He stood up and moved you to the side.
He pushed the brake down and moved to the back of the bike.
"We can start with basics. Posture and positions." He said looking at you.
Stunned by his answer and quick change in answers, you didn't move till he said, "Ok, I guess you don't want to." You feet quickly moved to stand by him.
He went through the basics, teaching you how to mount and where to keep your feet. After, it was your turn to demonstrate your understanding. You go to the side and lift a leg to straddle the seat.
Simon from the back saw how you were a natural at this. Your ass is plump on the seat you lean to hold the handles with a slight arch in your back. Simon thought to himself why he hadn't let you do this earlier. He was so caught up in how good you look he didn't even hear you ask him if what you were doing was good.
You looked over to see him in a daze. He quickly grabbed his phone and took a photo of you on his bike, clad in his boxers and old t-shirt; every inch of you screamed that you were his. And he never loved anything more than this moment right now.
He walked to the front of the bike.
"Is this alright Si?" You asked him when you finally are met with his face.
He just smiled and leaned in to kiss you.
"My gorgeous girl on my bike," He said in between kisses.
You giggled and removed your hands from the handles to his neck and shoulder.
"Get off the bike and get inside right now." He said, pulling away. Laughing, you got off and felt a slight smack hit your ass. This was definitely not your last time on his bike.
#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost#ghost cod#simon ghost riley x reader#task force 141#simon riley imagine#simon riley x reader#simon riley smut#call of duty#cod x reader
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PIDW but it's a game.
You play as Luo Binghe, the lowliest disciple of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect's Qing Jing Peak. The first part of the game proceeds more or less like a semi-normal fantasy dating sim -- Luo Binghe is bullied and downtrodden, but can seek help and opportunities to build relationships with various female characters, like Ning Yingying and Liu Mingyan. The game's interface implies a truly staggering number of potential romance candidates to unlock, however, so it makes sense that the first part in your disciple years doesn't get you very far in any of the routes.
But then for the second part, things start to shift. You get an option that seems to amount to asking whether you want to make things better for Luo Binghe or not. When you click the obvious choice, that you do, your previously cold and ruthless shizun seems to go through an inexplicable change of heart. You get a weird kind of fanservice-y scene featuring him during the Skinner Demon Mission. Then he features extremely heavily in the Demon Invasion Mission, only to turn up as your companion in the Dream Demon Mission.
After that, it seems like you've gotten onto his route, somehow? Why does the scummy male teacher even have a route in a game like this, though? You try to check for player guides but you can't seem to find any. You try reloading older saves and making other selections, but no matter what you choose, you end up finishing the Dream Demon Mission by moving into Shen Qingqiu's house, and the routes for Liu Mingyan and Ning Yingying and the briefly-encountered Sha Hualing are all greyed out.
But maybe that just means they're inaccessible for advancement for now, or something. And a lot of games have plot points that are on rails, and you can see where Luo Binghe actually getting a place to live would be one of those things. The format of the game changes as well, going from a relatively loose sequence of scenes and interactions to a daily management style, where you have tasks to complete (make shizun breakfast, go to morning lessons, cultivate, do chores, etc) and only a set number of hours in which to complete them. You have affection points, but any time you try to spend them on anyone other than Shen Qingqiu you get an error message. There are dialogue options for flirting with other characters, but they're always greyed out and impossible to select.
Still, you can unlock scenes. A lot of them are just long slow shots of Shen Qingqiu doing things, like reading, or lecturing, or eating. You get missions, and sometimes you meet female characters who seem to unlock new possible romance paths, even though they're still constantly greyed out. Maybe this part of the game's just especially on rails? Waiting for the actual harem-building segment? You kind of like a lot of aspects of it anyway, though. Luo Binghe is an especially compelling character, not at all like the usual sort of non-entity placeholder main guys in games like this. He definitely has personality.
But then you get to the third part. The Abyss. Shen Qingqiu pushes Luo Binghe in, and suddenly you're wondering if you've somehow reached a bad end. You were saving up some of those affection points for later, maybe you should have spent them all on him? Was there something you did wrong to make this happen? You're not even sure why he's thrown poor Binghe away, he was cold and cryptic about it, and now you're wondering if all the time you spent distracted by other things was time you should have spent farming a better relationship with him. You can't help but wonder where you went astray, because Luo Binghe will not stop wondering about it, and wondering about it in ways that make you feel oddly like he is accusing you, the player, of making the wrong choices... but in a way that could still plausibly be aimed at himself, as a character. You feel bad. You kind of want to restart, but you also can't bring yourself to abandon Luo Binghe. You have to see this through, to help him make it to the other side.
Regardless, the Endless Abyss seems like it must be an inevitable plot development. A lot of the game shifts to account for it. There's even an option to essentially select this "thought" from Luo Binghe's internal diatribe, that this is inevitable, and it seems to turn off the litany of recriminations for a while, although sometimes it also results in Luo Binghe... glaring at the screen?
At you?
Anyway the daily management system goes out of the window, and instead there's an energy bar now. Encounters with monsters or the occasional demon woman will lower the energy bar, how much depends on what you choose and how the encounters proceed. Sometimes there are romantic/sexy responses for interacting with the demon women you meet, and they aren't greyed out, but if you try and select them the cursor will jump to another option. You think there might be something wrong with your mouse? Sometimes you get Luo Binghe glaring at the screen scenes afterwards. When Binghe's energy bar hits zero, you're offered two choices -- "sleep" or "think of shizun". Sometimes even if you pick "sleep" the cursor will still jump to "think of shizun", and you'll be treated to another one of those slow lingering scenes of Shen Qingqiu. Except they are becoming increasingly strange, obviously warped by the exhaustion and trauma of the situation, so that aspects are eerie or even disturbing. For example, sometimes Shen Qingqiu seems to be missing limbs, or eyes. Sometimes there's blood on his hands. Sometimes the food he's eating is rotted, or the bamboo house background looks like the Qing Jing Peak wood shed. That kind of thing. You don't mind the idea of harm coming to the man. He deserves it, really, for pushing Luo Binghe into the Abyss. But the few times you try and select options along those lines, the UI glitches again.
Also the "think of shizun" option only restores a quarter of the energy bar, whereas resting restores all of it. But if you try to go for too long without doing it, it will lock you into choosing it successively for a long time.
In addition to the energy bar, there's a calendar. It's not all that sophisticated or even consistent, and it's clearly meant to reflect the fact that Luo Binghe has troubles accurately judging the passage of time in the Abyss. However, the longer you spend in the Abyss, the more violent and unhinged things start to become, and the more the UI starts glitching to reveal disturbing messages, and the more often Luo Binghe "glaring" scenes happen. So you decide to do your best to get Binghe out of here as quickly as possible. This part of the game must be broken, but hopefully if you can make to the next segment, it will work properly again.
Eventually you get to the Xin Mo Mission, which is the last part of the Abyss section, and Luo Binghe escapes.
But the weirdness continues. Worsens, even. You still get missions to like, take over the demon realms and infiltrate Huan Hua Palace, all cool stuff, and you still meet girls who seem to unlock possibly romance paths. But most of the time everything is greyed out. There will be 5 dialogue options but maybe only 1 or 2 of them will be selectable. Parts of the menu are inaccessible. You don't have an energy bar anymore, you have a Xin Mo corruption bar, and it just keeps steadily rising. Sometimes you're presented the option of propositioning a character to "mitigate corruption", but if you try and click it the game glitches or the cursor freaks out and it fails. Sometimes the game crashes outright, and when you reload your last save, it starts with Luo Binghe glaring at you through the screen. You still get the "rest" and "think of shizun" options at times, but neither one helps the corruption bar.
Then. Jinlan City. You reunite with Shen Qingqiu. There seem to be a lot of options for acting vengefully towards him, but they're all greyed out, except for a few which let you chase him down or manhandle him a bit. The whole segment is frustrating, full of weird fanservice-y moments but also mired in how little Shen Qingqiu will say, how often he insists on evading or running away, and how Luo Binghe doesn't seem to have the right prompts to actually get him to explain himself. At times it seems like the "think of shizun" mechanic is bleeding over into the real interactions with the character, so that you can't tell what's really going on vs what are the manifestation of Luo Binghe's trauma or even hallucinations. The Xin Mo bar has maxed out. You have to catch Shen Qinqiu. Catch Shen Qingqiu. Catch Shen Qingqiu--
Then suddenly the bar is at 0, and you're watching Shen Qingqiu's lifeless body fall towards the ground, his energy expended in the effort to push back the corruption. Like, all of his energy.
You catch Shen Qingqiu. Or at least, you stop his corpse from hitting the dirt.
Now the game art is crisp and clean again. All the weird UI artifacts and blocked-off menus are either gone altogether or else working properly. The sound, which had been very gradually deteriorating with low-pitched ringing and muffled portions, is normal. You can hear characters gasping and distantly shouting, and birds chirping somewhere, the ragged cadence of Luo Binghe's breaths, while the camera focuses on Shen Qingqiu's body.
Huh, you think. That's a sort of dramatic resolution to that plot arc, and it raised more questions about Shen Qingqiu than it answered, really. But at least it's over with now? Does this mean Luo Binghe can finally start to recover, or advance other plots?
Then everything blacks out. You get booted to the main menu, or something that looks like it, except the only option you can select now is the New Game+ one.
When you click it, it seems like you've started the whole game over again. Except that there is a Xin Mo corruption bar, greyed out, already waiting for in a corner of the screen. And instead of starting out with a view of Qing Jing Peak, you start out with the young Luo Binghe looking directly towards you. Like he's staring through the screen. It's the basic starting point character, except he already has his demon mark on his forehead, and his expression is way more cold and calculating than anything the junior protagonist would have worn.
"Don't get in my way," he warns.
Then the game proceeds like a visual novel with extremely limited choices. The old selections and the menu for various romance routes don't even appear, the menus have all changed again, this time oriented entirely around hiding Luo Binghe's demonic cultivation (while building it) and managing daily choices and Shen Qingqiu's relationship status. A romance game with only one romance route, and it's the treacherous crusty old teacher? Wtf? But otherwise it seems almost normal, except for the special faint-lettered red options that sometimes appear in weird places on the screen, suggesting things like preventing the Skinner demon from catching you unawares, or saving Shen Qingqiu from Without a Cure poisoning, or keeping out of the Endless Abyss.
Those options seem like they should create different outcomes, and you click them whenever they show up, but they consistently fail. As if there's some other force in the game pushing things back onto the rails no matter what you do...
Anyway, eventually you get through the main plot again, and Shen Qingqiu dies once more. This time the game keeps going from that point, however, with quests to try and find ways to resurrect him. You're starting to wonder why you're still playing -- after all, you signed up for a harem game, not this tragic gay love story? You're not even gay! It's just that Luo Binghe is such a compelling character. You decide it's time to take a break, though, so you get up, do some stretches, go to the bathroom, etc.
It feels like someone's watching you.
You've definitely been playing that game for too long. Sometimes you think you catch sight of Luo Binghe's face out of the corner of your eye, in the bathroom mirror or on the black surface of your phone's screen, just before you turn it on. But when you look twice or turn your phone off again, nothing's there. You call your little sister, to apologize for dropping off the face of the earth for a bit, and you joke about getting too invested in this weird game that might be broken? She hasn't heard of it, but she sounds a little worried as she suggests maybe coming over and taking you out to lunch, or something.
You decline -- she's got a lot on her plate, and she mentioned already having plans earlier -- but then you promise to get some fresh air anyway. But when you go to head out, somehow you find yourself turning away at the last minute. You try again, and yet it's like you just keep getting distracted before you can open the door. After a few tries you give up, swallowing down your growing unease. You take off your shoes and coat. When it comes to it, you really do want to find out what happens to Luo Binghe next.
The game is running.
You don't remember turning it back on...?
The screen is focused on the familiar image of Shen Qingqiu's preserved corpse. You can see Luo Binghe's hand in the frame as well, transferring qi in yet another familiar sequence, the one that seems to run at the end of every in-game day. There's some text.
Is it you? the red letters ask, scrawling and flickering, as if someone is attempting to write directly onto the screen. Are you the one behind all this? Thwarting me at every turn?
Yes/No options appear in the game's usual font and position. You try to click "no", even though you're unsure and feel like you must have missed a scene somehow. But the interface warps and when you hit "no" it changes to Stay Silent.
I can't figure out. Are you here to help me, or get in my way?
Help/Harm. You click "help" but again it changes to "stay silent" afterwards.
What do you want from me?
This time there's no option to select at first. Then, as if being shoved onto the screen by some alternative function, a text box opens up. Like the kind that some games have for implementing cheats or selecting character names. This particular game has never shown such a function before, Luo Binghe's name was locked in and you don't even know if it has cheats. The cursor blinks, and somehow it feels as if you have only one chance, and if you don't take it now, it will be gone forever.
You type in "help" and barely manage to hit enter before the interface blinks out. No list of prompts or possible options appear.
Shizun? the red text scrawls, shakily.
Then the whole game crashes.
You wait, but it doesn't start up again. You try to run it again, but you can't find it on your system, somehow. Really weird. Even if it had crashed, it shouldn't have gotten deleted? But you still can't find it. You start to feel genuinely alarmed. Not only can you not find the game on your system, but when you try and search for it absolutely nothing comes up. You try and go to the online shop page for it, but you can't remember where you actually got it from in the first place, now that you're thinking about it.
What bullshit is this?
What, was the game actually some kind of virus? It couldn't have been. Also who would make a virus like that? You get up and pace, trying to make sense of it.
It's gotta be some kind of mistake. Maybe you've just missed too much sleep, you're not thinking right. You'll take a break and when you come back you'll realize that you were just looking in all the wrong places, somehow.
You head over to the fridge to grab something to eat.
You can't remember the last time you went shopping, but the food in there is probably still fine. Right?
#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#bingqiu#scum villain#long post#shen yuan transmigrates into another new game+ with unhinged frankenbingmei/ge#good luck user!#this system exists to ensure a satisfying gamer experience!#the hell it does#refund! refund!
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Oh boy.
#it's a creepypasta called wii deleted you written in like 2017 by this guy named IceyPie#but it only began to truly get traction once this guy called The Masked Chris began to make animatics#using readings/voiceactings of the creepypasta as audio#it spawned a whole community and got its peak in around 2021#when the fnf thing was happening and the Chris guy made two fnf mods with his ocs and the bald mii guys#of course since friday night funkin has been touched the creator obviously had to turn out to be a terrible person#(not a groomer i believe but he did a lot of emotional manipulation and severely crunching people who worked for him.#and also this whole drama with the guy who made the songs for the mods)#the creepypasta itself was poorly written with an ''i said'' after literally every line of dialogue#and it had the fnaf thing where they weren't planning to write more of it but they did and the new things just crash with the old ones#but like. the story itself that was trying to be told did improve significantly once Chris was also on the writing board and not just drawi#g. and also when the guy that wrote it literally grew up lol#but still since they couldnt just change what was already established. if your foundation is bad your house will end up bad#but despite its flaws it was somehow able to invoque this huge ''this story could be so good if it was good'' feeling#to. seemingly everyone who saw this.#the fanfiction scene on this thing is insane#everyone is rebooting it adding their own spins and making this thing a thousand times better than what is actually was#it's like mcu fans writing bangers yknow#THEY EVEN TURNED THIS INTO ANALOG HORROR AND OTHER REBOOT ANIMATICS#IT'S LEGIT INSANE. PEOPLE LOVE THIS STORY BUT NOT ITS CANON LMAO#speaking of canon.#the gay shipping is also rampant. and 98% of it is just this one ship#people took the two adult thin attractive white boys that had the most interactions and shipped them together#even though if you want to write anything remotely close to. anything that happens in this fucking creepypasta.#these two should not have fallen in love at any point of the story#it's literally like the onceler situation people liked this guy so bad but there was no one to ship him with#so they pulled the ships outta their asses#and yes it still infuriates me to this day because if you want to write this creepypasta in a remotely good way just. they just cant be#a thing#and this is a hill i will die a thousand times over on
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Daddy’s Princess : ̗̀➛ Daniel Ricciardo
summary: everyone always knew that daniel dreamt about being a dad girl, but no one knew quite how much he’d truly love it
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 1,493,922 others
danielricciardo: counting down the days before our next adventure begins ✨
78,506 comments
username1: these are the cutest photos in the world
ynusername: I cannot wait to become mum and dad with you ❤️
username2: already the sweetest baby in the world!
landonorris: come on baby, uncle lando can’t wait much longer
oscarpiastri: so excited for you guys, you’re gonna be the best parents 🥰
username3: baby ricciardo is going to be so loved omg
maxverstappen1: red bull baby grow incoming btw ❤️💙
username4: dad daniel is already such a vibe 😂
username5: it’s going to be the best adventure ever for you guys 😍
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 294,504 others
ynusername: hello world 👋🏻
38,403 comments
username6: oh my goodness she is the cutest 🥺🥺🥺
landonorris: SHUT UP OMG SHE’S PERFECT
georgerussell63: huge congrats guys, she’s adorable!!
username7: the little feet I can’t cope
username8: 💕💕💕💕
oscarpiastri: oh wow you guys, this is the best news 🧡
danielricciardo: I’ve never been prouder, you’re an absolute superstar babe 💕🥰
username9: I’m already obsessed with her!!
maxverstappen1: can’t wait to meet your little one 🧑🏻🍼
yukitsunoda0511: 🎉🎉🎉🎉
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by alex_albon, lewishamilton and 749,503 others
danielricciardo: reach for the stars my girl, daddy will support you every step of the way ✨
59,602 comments
username10: officially the cutest post I have ever seen
username11: daniel already encouraging his girl to dream big is peak daniel
ynusername: just don’t be an f1 driver, I don’t think my heart will take it 😂
username12: she’s already growing so tall 😭😭
alex_albon: you should become a motivational speaker when you retire, heartwarming stuff
danielricciardo: @/alex_albon 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻
charles_leclerc: how many sunsets did it take before you took this photo??
username13: secretly pretending daniel is saying this to me
username14: is it wrong to wish that I was daniel’s daughter instead 🤔
landonorris: become a mclaren driver ydn - they’re the best 🧡
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by ynusername, yukitsunoda0511 and 932,120 others
danielricciardo: the best time ever having my team with me to support me during race weekend 🥺💕
59,604 comments
username15: ahhh I’ve missed paddock yn so much
username16: the most perfect family in the world
landonorris: secretly they were there to support me 😂
danielricciardo: @/landonorris in your dreams!
ynusername: we had the best time do all of your awesome things, ydn is officially now obsessed with f1 you loser 😝
username17: the middle photo giving all the feels
username18: I need the dad daniel era to stick around forever
oscarpiastri: look at how adorable ydn is!!
alex_albon: how did you ever manage to make such a cute kid 😂
danielricciardo: @/alex_albon I ask myself the exact same question - yn deserves all the credit
username19: the hug, the smile, the love for his daughter 🥺
username20: adopt me pretty pls
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by maxverstappen1, georgerussell63 and 729,492 others
danielricciardo: can someone tell me when my baby got so big please 😭😭😭
48,503 comments
username21: it still feels like ydn was born yesterday
maxverstappen1: she is the absolute spitting image of you bro…that smile 🥰
username22: ydn is officially not allowed to grow anymore
ynusername: I’m now at work crying at my desk because of you, thanks a lot 😂
danielricciardo: @/ynusername our baby is too big…let’s have another!!
username23: petition for another ricciardo baby 🙌🏻
landonorris: now move the cup and show us the hot chocolate all over her face 😂😂
danielricciardo: @/landonorris it was everywhere 😂😂
username24: I love seeing how in love daniel is with ydn
username25: every photo he posts just makes my heart melt
carlossainz55: who knew danny ric could be so cute ☺️
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by ynusername, logansargeant and 839,604 others
danielricciardo: starting my girl off Young following in daddy’s footsteps 🐴
48,593 comments
landonorris: at least ydn wears a helmet!!!
danielricciardo: @/landonorris shut up dad!
username26: not ydn being just like her dad 😭
username27: I bet daniel had to do plenty of persuading for yn to let ydn do this hahah
oscarpiastri: btw ydn looks so much cooler than you 😬
username28: can’t wait to see these two go riding together in the future
logansargeant: now all she needs is the american jacket!!
danielricciardo: @/logansargeant hey my girl is an aussie through and through 🇦🇺
username29: daddy’s little girl showing up once again 😂
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 1,042,594 others
danielricciardo: the best mummy in the world 🌎 I love doing live with you and our little star ✨
73,950 comments
ynusername: no one else I would rather have by my side, we’re the perfect team 💕✨
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 reaction#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 x you#daniel ricciardo drabble#daniel ricciardo x you#daniel ricciardo fluff#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo smau#formula 1 smau#formula 1 social media#formula one imagine#formula 1 fic#formula one#f1 smau
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