#I thought people just did random characters to be funny but apparently not. Oops

[thewizardofschnoz]

Jumping on a trend, sorry. They're looking at Peepaw Webber by the way

[ravenadottir]

@the-bisexual-mermaid asked:

"Since fusebox is apparently gone to shit but we are super attached to litg and its characters, we should make up our own season 4! Why don’t you make up the original 5 boys and 5 girls? What kind of people would you want to see in your season 4? What sort of juicy drama would go down between these characters?"

this ask came in july, last year but it was gone from my drafts/inbox, along with so many others. at some point i thought it was a fever dream but now they'res back!

now, about the actual ask, i've assembled not only the original people but a whole concept of what i wanted, including islanders, challenges, relationships, love tropes, who would leave or stay and why. needless to say i got carried away.

so i'm splitting this answer in a few parts, just because i want you to see all the islanders i came up with (34).

but let's start with day 1.

🍦 day 1 - ten islanders

mc won't be part of this batch. i still think it would be brilliant to have her as a bombshell, just not how fusebox made her on season 4 (from what i heard she comes in during the dancing challenge and that's so jarring but pop off i guess).

right off the bat we have first impressions on the new islanders and later on the discovery of their routes. each of them would be fitted into a love trope, but not all of them would be li's, at least not initially.

instead of the phrase they have in their profile info, i would make them describe themselves with three words, which would give us more of a scope to understand what type of personalities we would be dealing with.

for the first couple of days i would only make two episodes since mc is not here. so without further ado, here's my first two days.

🍦 boys:

damian. intelligent, patient, shy. he/him, bisexual.

luke. beautiful, vain, charming. he/him, straight.

ben. fun, tired, ready to go. he/him, bisexual.

tweet. fun, compassionate, daring. he/him, straight.

gustav. creative, fun, persistent. he/him, straight.

🍦 girls:

fingers. intelligent, hard working, ready. she/her, straight.

emily. funny, reliable, sweet. she/her, straight.

diya. kind, smart, adventurous. she/her, bisexual.

kendal. creative, colorful, soft. she/her, bisexual.

liv. good, fierce, done. she/her, bisexual.

🍦 recoupling

girls’ choice, as they come out of the bedroom, just like in litg. these are the couples formed:

fingers + damian

liv + ben

kendal + tweet

diya + luke

emily + gustav

🍦 challenge

never have i ever. a good chance to get some of the tea on the islanders and their past experiences. oh, i forgot to tell you, mc is watching everything happening in real time. the villa life starts on day 1 and you have access to all that is happening.

the suggestions are all written down in cards and they pick them up at random and use little pickets with a ���i have” or “i have never” written on it.

first up. “never have i ever slept with someone without knowing their name.” ben, liv and tweet raise the green sign while the others stare in horror.

“how do you shag someone you don’t know the name…?” kendal asks.

“well, i could show you but i already know yours.” liv responds, leaving kendal giggling.

“never have i ever got drunk and texted an ex.”

liv, ben, kendal, tweet and fingers raise the green.“

"fingers! kendal!” ben smiles.

“it happens… you did!” fingers say, timidly.

“yeah, but i’m me… you’re… well, you!”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“it’s a compliment, it means you’re better than him.” emily says with a chuckle.

“i’m not…! i’m…” she gets uncomfortable and damian grabs a card to avoid the tension.

“never have i ever betrayed a friend.”

general ‘oohs" and 'oop’ are loud as ben, tweet, emily and gustav raise their greens.

“i mean, ben i get, he’s him, but gustav?!” fingers is shocked.

“he was… not a good person. i ended up telling everyone what he did, so i guess that’s technically a betrayal.”

“what did he do?”

“suffice to say he got his punishment.” he crosses his arms and stops talking. the game goes on but in a faster pace until the last one.

“never have i ever cheated.”

luke and diya raise the green one. “alright then… good to know the ones to keep an eye on.” damian said.

“well, it’s not that simple.” luke says.

“i answered ’no’ because i haven’t, you said ’yes’ because you did.” ben winks. “sounds pretty simple to me.”

“whatever mate.” luke stands up and stretches, trying to look unbothered. “i’m gonna take a dip. see you all later.”

🍦 after the challenge

everyone scatters all around but the girls stay back to discuss the game. “so… luke huh… and you two…?”

“oh come on,” diya responds, “it was… a really bad relationship, the type you can’t avoid or break up, even when you have to. it reminded me so much of what lucas koh said on season 2 you know? the relationship was really bad but none of us was brave enough to end things.”

“right… what happened?”

“well, she was being possessive, always trying to control my every move, calling all the time, and if i didn’t pick up she would go feral. one night i went to meet a friend and, well, things happened. i didn’t plan on it, but i didn’t stop it either. eventually we broke up, and i stayed single for a really long time. i had to.”

“yeah, it’s tough. sometimes you know someone is just not good for you but you’re trying anyways.” kendal says.

“well, i guess that’s rooted in pride. no one wants to admit defeat.” fingers grabs her water bottle.

“yeah, but i don’t like looking at relationships like that. it’s not about winning or losing. it’s about working or not.” liv stretches. “and we all have a bad relationship to talk about.”

“that’s the one thing we all have in common i think.” emily says.

“that’s sad.” kendal completes. “but i’m glad to bond over something. i feel like being in here can be intense at times so i’m happy we’ll have friends to rely on.”

🍦 nighttime

the night falls and they receive a cryptic text:

islanders, grab on to your tanning lotions for dear life, change is about to hit the villa. #coupleuporbreakup #couplesnottrios

the first night in the villa is already heated with the possibility of changes happening so soon. couples are going to bed and it becomes clear which ones are getting along and which ones were each other’s last option.

🍦 day 2 - conversations

after the first night they have a chance to talk and spend some time together, to get to know each other. couple by couple have a conversation about their likes and dislikes, one past experience and who they’re looking for, type wise.

damian and fingers are getting along, liv and ben as well (too well if you catch my drift), kendal and tweet are vibing and happy to spend time together, emily and gustav don’t connect at all and it’s awkward to share a bed, so much gustav offers to put a pillow between them. diya and luke don’t see eye to eye romantically but they’re happy to stay friends until other people come in.

“why did you choose me and not gustav, though?” luke asks diya.

“i feel like i would be too harsh because he gives me the vibe of someone that takes things like… too seriously.”

“he does actually.” they share a laugh. “well, i’m glad to have a friend in my couple. we can stay together until we find someone we like.”

“agreed.”

🍦 in the afternoon

they are spoiled with brunch on the lawn, but there’s a catch, they’re not having the meal with their couples, but with different people.

the boys get to choose who they want to sit with and gustav has first choice: kendal. “she’s so tender and sweet, i feel like we would get along really well.”

ben shouts “so you think you’re sweet, huh? i like sweet guys.”

“dream on, ben.” gustav responds.

damian chooses liv and fingers get pissed but doesn’t say anything about it. ben likes emily’s vibe so he picks her, tweet invites diya to his table, leaving luke to eat with fingers. he turns to diya to say “i wanted to avoid that, mate… she looks like she’s going to eat me alive, and not in a good way.”

diya chuckles and shakes her head before sitting with tweet. at the table some of them are comfortable but others are just feeling the awkwardness. fingers and luke start talking and realize they have more in common than they thought.

“you’re a model, right?” she says.

“yeah, i supposed you don’t think much of it since you’re literally a doctor.”

“well, i wasn’t rich, my family didn’t have money to get me into a good school, so i modeled throughout my entire school life. now that i have a job in a hospital i can actually pay the bills and all, but it was really between my family’s savings and whatever i could scrape from my modeling gigs.”

luke is kinda surprised. “you know what, i can definitely see it, you’re really beautiful…” embarrassed he quickly changes the subject as he sips on his drink. “i thought you were gonna bite liv’s head off.”

“well, that might still happen, she’s… pretty cute.” she winks. “i was just mad about not having a first date with our actual couple, but that’s not her fault.”

“right… how are you feeling right now?”

“i’m surprised by how much we were able to talk even though not having anything in common, at least on a surface level.”

“i can get pretty deep.” he smirks.

“was that a sex joke?” she says seriously.

luke gasps and chokes on his mimosa, tripping on his words to make her know it wasn’t. “n-no! not at all, i was just…” he notices her smirk and is relieved. “alright, you got me… but i’ll get you back.”

in each episode i would like to flash out their personalities, and even their dynamics, because i believe we have a lot of space and time to make that happen if we avoid fluffly pieces that don’t say a lot.

right after focusing on luke and fingers, we would move on to liv and damian.

“how are you feeling in your couple, damian? are you getting along?”

“well, yeah, i like her. fingers can look really tough but she’s also really funny.”

“so you think if someone came in, your head wouldn’t turn?”

damian thinks hard. “i don’t know… right now i’m thinking this is great, all of us are getting to know each other and we have the opportunity of doing that with no interference. but if the perfect girl or guy walked in i would… i would probably recouple.”

“and what makes the perfect girl or guy?”

“it’s a balance… i feel like my life is pretty boring back home. i barely have places to go and people to see, and the idea of going out every week is jarring to me. i need someone that wants to relax with me on the weekdays and weekends.”

“what do you like doing then? on weekdays?”

“reading is a shout, watching some shows i enjoy, cooking together. like i said, everything back home is what people call boring, but i like it. i prefer the peaceful nights than the agitated ones. and classes run until 3, so sometimes i have very early days… i want someone that has the same desire of staying put and enjoying a book. when we travel i would like to be with them by ourselves.”

“not even a group trip?”

“well, sure, but i would be cooking a meal for them at least once, and i would want to enjoy the place with them as well…” he sips. “i’m sorry, i’m going on and on about myself. tell me about your type.”

liv’s eyes go wide. “i’m… in between types… i feel like it restricts my options so much and like, i don’t wanna miss out on something great because i stayed true to one format.”

“that’s fair.”

“with that being said, like you mentioned, i want someone that keeps up with my routine. i work at night, almost every night of the week, so i sleep from 4 to 11, it can get pretty crazy.”

“oof, that sounds exhausting.”

“it is, but i can’t see myself doing anything else. but it’s also the kind of life i wouldn’t trade. i love singing, i love the crowd, the drinks aren’t half bad either.”

“so it’s really fun!”

“yeah… but have you ever seen soul, the movie? that moment that the main character enters a zone they can see from the other realm? i know it sounds dumb but… that’s how it feels…”

“no, i completely agree!! whenever i’m explaining something really hard and my students can give me examples of it, in practical terms, i feel like my job is done, and i enter that zone of…”

“satisfaction.”

“yes! it’s good to do the work, but it’s even better to see the good results. for every F i grade there’s hope that person can achieve an A, you know?”

“yeah… i would know, i was an F student.” she laughs.

after that just a chit chat amongst the islanders, general reactions to things the others are saying, in general, and them getting to rest after the meal. the night would fall quickly and we would see the couples talking and having a drink after dinner, nothing too out there.

liv comes to join fingers and kendal, who are having a cocktail by the pool. “so, how was the date with my partner?”

“umm… it was interesting…” she takes a sip for every pause. “we got to talk about life back home… the work we do… our types…”

“whoa, whoa… slow your row, red!” fingers adjusts herself on the seat, pulling the cushions closer. “spill it!”

“listen, damian is a very quiet guy… i reckon he likes peace and quiet.”

“i can be quiet.”

“the point is not if you can be, it’s if you are.” liv watches her reaction while taking a sip.

“so, what? you think his head might turn?”

“well, i asked him that…”

“and…?!”

“and… i think you two should talk.”

fingers stare at the roof terrace where a couple of the boys are having a heated discussion to what it sounds like the best place to have a vacation, damian’s voice the only one not being heard despite his presence.

“yeah, i’ll talk to him.”

“so… what about you kendal? how was the date with gustav?”

kendal giggles lightly but confidently. “i think he might have a thing for me.”

“really?!” liv lights up.

“is that so hard to believe?” fingers says.

“no! i’m just excited because kendal here might have a thing for her couple… tweet…”

“he is really fun, and super cute… and so flirty all the time. i’m just…” kendal hesitates. “i don’t know if i would continue with him.”

“oop… hold on, let me get in position!” liv exclaims. “alright, spill!”

“it’s just, he’s really sweet, but it seems like we never have anything to talk about. yesterday it was fine, we were having a conversation about our hometowns and then, poof! nothing. the conversation died and never came to life again. this morning i was kind of relieved the brunch wasn’t with him.”

“oh… girl… do you think he feels the same?”

“i don’t know. he must, right? the vibe was dead so fast, and it’s a shame because… wow… he’s really cute. and a really good cuddler!”

“aham. so are you gonna tell him this?”

“i guess. just not right now! i’ll give it time to breathe, you know. maybe it will get better.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the end of day 2 is solely the chats they’ve been having after the brunch. but there’s more to come on day 3 and that’s a subject for a new post, so… bye!

[hermannsthumb]

I've read fics where Hermann disapproves of PDAs but what about the reverse? As in he's so stunned at winning the most amazing man in the Shatterdome (6 phds, literal rockstar, gorgeous Newt) that he deliberately provokes contact and shows of affection. Just to show off to people and send a clear back off signal. And Newt just dotes on him obliviously.

ok this one is another super old prompt and when I was writing it this week it KINDA got away from me. but I hope everyone enjoyyyys. partially inspired from conversations with @k-sci-janitor 👀 totally sfw, except for one brief reference

anyway, a fic about hermann being all affectionate with newt and also discovering what relaxation is 

——————————————-------------------------------------------

The day after the world doesn’t end, Hermann brings Newt breakfast in bed.

Honestly, it surprises Newt more than the whole world not ending thing. Up until the previous evening, after all, Newt was pretty damn sure the guy absolutely hated him, and that if Hermann was gonna do something as out of character as bringing him breakfast, it surely meant he’d spat in it first. Or maybe poisoned it. If hated isn’t the right word, Newt would say Hermann at the very least barely tolerated. And then the whole sharing the neural load thing happened. And, after that, hugging, not once, but twice, and then falling asleep in bed together. And now Hermann’s perched on the edge of his bed (which they shared while they slept) and handing him a plate.

“You had quite the busy day yesterday,” Hermann says kindly. Hermann has never spoken to Newt kindly before. Atop the plate are two pieces of toast, a soft-boiled egg, and a mug of coffee. The coffee and toast (Newt notices) are exactly the shade he prefers. He wonders if Hermann picked up on it before or after the whole mind-melding thing. Before wouldn’t surprise him—Hermann has always been weird about noticing details like that. The egg, however, is something purely Hermann in taste. “I imagine you could use a nice spot of breakfast,” he adds.

Newt shoves his glasses on and blinks at Hermann groggily. He struggles to sit up, partially tangled in his sheets, and then takes the plate. A little bit of coffee sloshes down onto one of the slices of toast. “Are you wearing my sweatshirt?” he says.

Hermann smiles and looks down at the ragged old MIT sweatshirt he’s tossed on. He may have a few inches on Newt, but he’s still one skinny motherfucker, and it hangs almost comically off his frame. “I am,” he says. “I poked around in your closet, I hope you don’t mind. My clothing was in a rather sorry state.”

Sorry state is an understatement for both of them. Newt’s surprised they haven’t been formally ordered to burn the shit they wore to the bone slums yet. Blood, dirt, and kaiju guts aside, Newt’s, at least, reeks to high heaven with sweat. “No worries,” Newt says. He picks up the coffee and blows on it. He wonders where Hermann got coffee that smells this good. It’s been hard to find anything decent and non-instant on the base these days, and (thanks to limited rations) chain shops like Starbucks cost an arm and a leg for even a small. He also wonders what people thought when they saw Hermann strutting around the base with bedhead in a sweatshirt that obviously wasn’t his. Newt almost wants to blush on his behalf. Scandalous.

Before Newt can so much as take a sip of the coffee, Hermann is suddenly unbuckling and shucking off his grey slacks. “Dude!” Newt yelps, flushing bright red to the tips of his ears. Hermann blinks at him innocently. “What are you doing?”

It’s not so much that Newt is upset as it is that it’s so wildly out of character for Hermann that he feels he owes it to Hermann to act at least moderately scandalized. In all his years of knowing and working alongside Hermann, he’s never so much as seen Hermann’s bare wrist before. Now he’s in Newt’s goddamn bed flashing calves, and thighs, and neatly-pressed little white briefs… Hermann rolls his eyes and tosses the slacks (unfolded!) onto Newt’s desk chair. “Making myself comfortable,” he says. “Would you like me to stop?”

Does Hermann iron his underwear? It would be at odds with the rest of his clothing if he did, which is usually in various stages of frumpy to outright wrinkled, but Newt can’t think of how else it would look like that. He wonders if Hermann’s stitched his name on the inner waistband. It seems like the kind of thing Hermann would do. Newt suddenly realizes he’s been staring at Hermann’s briefs (and, worse still, considering how cute Hermann looks in just them and Newt’s sweatshirt) for an uncomfortably long time, so he quickly shakes his head and drags his eyes to Hermann’s face. One of Hermann’s eyebrows is quirked up. Newt hasn’t been subtle. “No,” he says. He clears his throat. “No, dude, you’re—all good.”

He chokes down a too-hot sip of coffee to have something to do with his mouth.

Hermann smirks.

The bedcovers are drawn back. Hermann slips under them and drapes an arm across Newt’s chest, his hand curling protectively over Newt’s hip. With his other hand he snags Newt’s coffee from his grasp and takes a sip. Newt watches his jaw and throat work as he swallows it, a funny feeling blooming in the pit of his stomach. The mug is handed back over, Hermann’s fingers brushing against Newt’s, which make Newt feel even funnier. “Newton,” Hermann declares. “I think we ought to have sex.”

“Oh,” Newt says. “Can I finish my breakfast first?”

“Certainly,” Hermann says.

Newt’s heart pounds as he spreads a little packet of margarine across one of the pieces of toast; he can feel Hermann’s eyes on him, never straying once. Hermann’s hand draws little circles on his hip. Newt drops his toast twice to the plate before he can successfully take a bite, and even when he does, he doesn’t taste it. Hermann’s fingers dip under the hem of his t-shirt. Newt swallows his toast. “Why?” he says.

Apparently it’s the right question. Hermann nods, like he’s pleased Newt has asked. Like they’re talking theories or something. “I came to the conclusion while I fetching your coffee,” Hermann says. “It occurred to me that I wouldn’t have gotten up at seven in the morning to get coffee for just anyone. Then, of course, there is the whole drifting business—”

“You realized you wouldn’t have done that for just anyone too, huh?” Newt says with a smile. Hermann’s hand on his hip stills, and his cheeks go pink. Newt’s relieved to have gotten some ground back here. “Hermann, that’s sooo romantic.”

“The world was at stake,” Hermann sniffs.

“It’s okay,” Newt says. “I won’t tell anyone the great Dr. Gottlieb has feelings. So, what, you realized you have a big ole crush on me?”

Hermann takes the unfinished piece of toast from him and sets it down on his plate. He pulls Newt’s glasses off, kisses him soundly, and then puts Newt’s glasses back on. His mouth tastes like toothpaste. “On the contrary, I’ve always suspected it,” he says. “It’s just that now I have the time to confirm it.” He reaches up and strokes at Newt’s hair. “We have the time for lots of things, now, Newton. Whatever we’d like.”

Newt finishes off his coffee quickly, not even caring when he burns his tongue, and then tosses the remainder of his breakfast to the floor. His egg spills onto the massacred skinny corduroys he wore yesterday. Whatever, Newt’s burning them anyway. “God, get overhere already, man,” he says, tugging at Hermann’s borrowed sweatshirt. He needs to help Hermann confirm his crush or whatever, pronto.

--

It’s a few days before Newt and Hermann finally drag themselves out of bed and to the lab to tackle what little work remains for them to do—cataloguing what are apparently the last kaiju samples known to man (Newt), recording and backing up their drift data (Newt’s solo drift, and then their joint data), drawing some random scribbles on the board and pretending they’re important calculations about the possibility of the Breach reopening (Hermann. Okay, whatever, maybe they are important). Unfortunately, the delay isn’t for any sexy reasons, as much as Newt would’ve liked it to have been. The events of the last day of the war caught up with them pretty quickly after that morning in Newt’s bed, and they mostly just slept, ordered out dinner, popped ibuprofen for their various aches, and avoided medical at all costs. (Rumor had it the medical staff on base were looking for him and Hermann so they could do some brain scans. Apparently drifting with a kaiju brain is potentially dangerous, who knew.)

A rancid smell washes over them the second they push the heavy lab doors open, and Newt spots several hunks of kaiju organs rotting away on his workbench. Hermann clamps a hand to his mouth. “Oops,” Newt says, turning to Hermann sheepishly. He can’t help but cower as he does. He and Hermann got along swimmingly the past couple days—it’ll be sad to see all that hard work go down the drain over this. “Guess I forgot to clean up the other day. In my defense—we were kind of busy.”

But Hermann doesn’t snap at Newt, or thump his cane on the ground, or call Newt an idiot, or even look annoyed; he lowers his hand from his mouth and laughs. Albeit a terse laugh, but still. Newt gapes at him. “We were rather busy,” Hermann concedes. “So long as you clean it up in the next ten minutes, I—what, Newton?”

“Nothing,” Newt says, quickly. “I’m gonna—um—deal with it now.”

Hermann disappears from the lab while Newt is digging around in the storage closet for extra heavy-duty trash bags. When he comes back an hour later, he’s holding a cardboard tray of small plastic cups, and Newt has just hefted his last spoiled sample into the lab’s airtight biohazard bin (a bit mournfully, if he’s being honest, since he’s sure there’s still more to learn about the kaiju from them). Newt squints at the cups in the tray while he rips his messy disposable work gloves off. “What’s that?” he says.

“Iced coffee,” Hermann declares.

The gloves slap, wetly, into the biohazard bin, and Newt lets out a low whistle. “Dude. No way. From where?” He’s not sure when he gave off the impression that the way to his heart was good coffee, but maybe it’s true. Then again, Hermann could probably win him over with a cup of lukewarm tap water. Not because Newt is desperate or anything. He just really likes Hermann.

“A little shop a bit away from the base,” Hermann says. “I took the bus.” He draws back his chair and sits down with a soft sigh, setting his cane against his desk. Then he draws out a small brown paper bag from his parka pocket. He tosses it to Newt; Newt catches it with one hand. “They had these funny little cakes on sticks. I thought you might like one.”

“Cake pops?” Newt says.

“I presume,” Hermann says. While Newt inhales the little chocolate-dipped cake pop (which is so good, oh my God, Newt hasn’t had dessert that didn’t come from a vending machine in plastic shrink wrap in years), Hermann adds, “I wasn’t sure what sort of iced coffee you liked, so I made sure to get a variety.”

“Sick,” Newt says, spewing crumbs on his shirt. “Um. But, like, why though?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Hermann says. “I suppose I wanted to do something kind for you.” He carefully slides a straw out of its paper wrappings and pokes it into the lid of one of the coffees. Once he crumples up the wrapper and tosses It into his train bin, he grips his cane, and uses the handle to nudge Newt’s desk chair towards him. “You worked awfully hard cleaning the laboratory.”

Newt preens a little, even as he privately wonders why Hermann’s acting so weird. Well, nice. But nice is weird for Hermann, so they’re basically the same thing. Is this part of his whole deciding whether or not he digs Newt thing? Newt just assumed the awesome morning they spent together would be proof enough of that. Then again, Hermann’s pretty thorough. “I guess,” Newt says. “It was kind of my mess, though.”

Hermann pats at the empty chair with a smile. Hermann’s smiles are so rare—crooked, and stupid cute—that Newt’s heart gives a painful little twist at the sight of it, and he realizes he doesn’t actually give a shit about why Hermann’s being all weird, actually. “You’ve earned a break,” Hermann says. “Besides, I’d like to spend time with you.”

Newt’s too stunned to argue with that one. When he sits down, Hermann inches their chairs together until their knees are touching.

--

They don’t necessarily fall back into their usual habits by the next week, but the better ones they’ve picked up (being a little kinder to each other, a little more patient, a little more respectful, and also the fact that Hermann can’t seem to stop touching Newt) all but fall into the background as Newt throws himself into his work with renewed determination. Unfortunately, his desire to get it all done as soon as fucking possible speaks less to his awesome work ethic, and more to the fact that he’s just not sure what else to do with himself now, and he likes that work gives him the excuse to not think about it. Hermann said they have all the time to do whatever they like now. Well, Newt likes working. He knows working. Relaxation is a foreign concept to him, and it was a foreign concept to Hermann up until recently. While Newt is toiling away over his decaying kaiju samples in the lab, Hermann is out—

“Where?” Newt says.

Hermann gives Newt the most serene smile Newt’s ever seen cross his face. “I took a bath,” he says. “It was very nice. I bought some nice soaps, and lit some candles, and looked online to see how to do one of those mud masks. It was very relaxing. You ought to try it.”

“Try bathing?” Newt says.

“Yes. Well, no. I mean taking a bath. Is there something you’re not understanding?”

Newt tries to imagine Hermann with a mud mask on his face and cucumbers over his eyes and fails miserably. Hermann hates messes. He would never stand for mud, let alone on his skin. Where’d he even find a bathtub? Did he break into the rangers’ locker room again? Aren't candles banned on base for being a fire hazard, anyway? “Yeah,” Newt says. “Pretty much all of it.”

Hermann shakes his head with a snort, and Newt catches a whiff of something floral and fragrant—his fancy new soap or oil, he guesses. “I’m not surprised. You know, Newton, you are awfully tense.”

Hearing that from Hermann of all people, the king of having-a-massive-stick-up-your-ass, is probably the funniest thing that’s ever happened to Newt. He laughs out loud and plunges a bare hand into his kaiju sample with a gross squelching noise. “Sure, dude.”

He’s almost too engrossed in his sample to feel Hermann sidling up behind him and setting a hand at his waist. He definitely feels Hermann nose a kiss behind his ear, though, and the hot flush that spreads down across his neck from it. Newt’s hand goes sweaty around his scalpel. One thing he definitely wasn’t expecting from a post-no-apocalypse Hermann is how free he is with affection in any and all forms. “Give it a rest, love,” Hermann murmurs. He nudges at the heel of Newt’s boot with the end of his cane. Love? “Why don’t we head back to my quarters and watch a film? You can pick.”

“But.” Newt fidgets. “I have—my sample—”

Another little kiss. The soapy-oil smell is stronger now. Newt thinks it might be lavender. He wonders if the mud mask left Hermann’s skin all soft. “It won’t be going anywhere, Newton.”

Newt sets down his scalpel.

When they they pass by a group of LOCCENT staff in the hallway, Newt makes to drop Hermann’s hand (which Hermann had laced together with his own before they left the lab), but Hermann holds fast, maybe even faster than before, and looks at him with his stupidly sweet set of big eyes. Newt waits until they round the corner to say anything. “Sorry,” he says, lamely. “Um. I thought—you wouldn’t want—” Hermann continues to stare at him. His iris is still ringed red like Newt’s. “I just mean I know you’re weird about stuff like that. Public stuff.” Hermann has been a closed and tightly-bound book for as long as Newt’s known him; he can’t imagine that would suddenly change and he would start broadcasting his emotions far and wide in the course of a week just because he’s a little less stressed.

Or, you know. Maybe Newt’s totally wrong on this. “Ah,” Hermann says. He nods, very seriously. “Yes. I have been considering that as well. I see no reason to hide recent developments in our relationship.” He squeezes Newt’s hand. "In fact, I see no reason to not be quite, er, proud of them. You’re quite the catch.”

Newt remembers the stolen sweatshirt. Maybe Hermann wearing it out to get them breakfast was more calculated than he realized. “So if I made out with you against the wall right now you wouldn’t be mad?” Newt says.

“Well,” Hermann says, inclining his head to his door, "seeing as my quarters are right there, it seems a rather unnecessary inconvenience.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Newt smiles as Hermann leads him in. “Can I really pick the movie?”

“Within reason.”

[unproduciblesmackdown]

@uberoll-oystercrackers putting this PT convo on blast just for the sake of switching to this format where u don’t have to break everything up via replies because [comically deep inhale]

honestly like idc idc i guess ppl are just like “uhh mytho’s got nothing going on b/c he has no feelings!!” like Yeah Correct, that’s a premise / inciting factor for this series and everything everyone’s doing lol, it’s only Boring if you don’t think about the character at all lmfao which i guess some ppl don’t, but like, there’s only 4 of them.....it’s Wildly Interesting that he literally has no feelings at first, like, for one thing it’s cool how there’s always the Idea of characters who don’t have emotions or act on them, but this is like the rare “realistic” situation where having no feelings means he needs someone to steer him around and make choices for him (and how Vulnerable that leaves him lmfao like episode 2 is wild but also that ppl just haven’t really realized that they Could just pick mytho up and pitch him into a wall, and fakir and rue are sort of careful neutral alliance keeping tabs on him) and you know, the whole s1 structure of mytho regaining both Capacity For / Experience of An Emotion and his sense of identity and by extent of all this his agency, and how like, Thematic everything surrounding this character is that’s reflected in the overall series like. trying to control someone for your own benefit vs being willing to sacrifice your own interests (and then some...) for their freedom & the Protecting Someone (And/Or Wanting To) As A Love Language that all the characters show for each other at various points & hope vs despair.......and like No Shit he’s dispassionate & passive b/c he can’t Feel Feelings & resultantly can’t make decisions or feel motivations but obviously he’s still Motivating other characters to act on his behalf, & there’s so much mystery & drama already in “yeah this guy you think is just a neat handsome guy is also an actual prince from a story who’s Real & sacrificed his heart in the fight with an evil giant raven monster that eats people & so he can’t feel anything or remember who he is” like damn!!! epic of him even if right now he can’t do much of anything on his own. i’m interested, and then i’m Interested every time in the Drama & Mystery of this person regaining parts of himself and completely rediscovering An Emotional Experience and how that is totally recontextualizing his entire existence for him.....

plus also even though “person literally lost heart via magic and doesn’t know what Feeling Things is” isn’t a We’ve All Been There situation i was like oh and you know it’s not like what mytho’s got going on isn’t potentially Relatable....can get into a side essay about dapressione and trauma and other types of stuff that can make it seem like someone can’t/shouldn’t have full access to their feelings / self / agency &/or it’s Dangerous if they try.....whew

but continuing on YEAH ugh just completely fascinated with mytho the Entire Time actually lol like, i’ve tended to lose steam in early s2 b/c he’s sort of Less involved beyond the [hehe time to cause some trouble in this particular ep] role lol but even so it’s like well it’s kinda fun when at least somebody’s being a bitch who lives for drama lmfaooooo & we get mytho Struggling Internally & sometimes punching through that way but again it’s like yeah oops the guy was basically autonomous but zwoop here’s a problem where that doesn’t mean shit anymore lol b/c he’s got this alternate evil self steering the ship all the time now lol got em.....the Peak of that i guess is where we get to have an epic swordfight between raven!mytho and fakir like you know what fuck yes!!! the intrinsic drama of that lmfao!!!! and then it’s like “oh no :/ loving the drama? that’s just what drosselmeyer wants” except Not b/c actually what makes it totally rule is that it’s this chance for Real Mytho to come through for the sake of protecting fakir (tbt “i wonder what i think of you, fakir”...) and really like that being what prompts fakir’s “you know what, even though before i was afraid my role as a knight would kill Me and i’m afraid my coincidental(?) role as a guy who can Reality Write could kill Anyone Else, i gotta try b/c that’s the only thing i could possibly do here and i want to try protecting everyone else b/c everyone else including mytho is protecting Me” and like augh everyone is so Thoughtful about how to try to help mytho out even as like, they can’t hardly interact with him or undo the situation lol.....as you’re getting into the series finale and everyone’s just outright Voicing things and you get “i/we want to protect mytho” like 32x and it’s beautiful each time ;___; like and well sorry but him & his heart/lack of are also the heart of the whole story here.....

and you know what *i* want to protect mytho, sympathizing with all the characters like fuck yes you’re so right, this guy rules, episode 6 aka The Fear Episode is SO good, like, you’ve gotten kinda used to the episodic format here, ep 5 did sure also make it obvious that things are Building on what’s happening prior here & that there’s stakes and stuff but it’s such a shakeup, like, that maybe just kinda sneakily dipping in and out of the arena giving back a piece of his heart until it’s done with, no problem, Isn’t Gonna Happen, and again, the Drama of it all......that the heart shards are yeah kind of their own People who are these fractions of mytho’s self and the way you interact with them is gonna like, affect things, since tutu didn’t like “resolve” things with that heart shard and just kinda got him on a technicality there lmfao so it’s like, yeah not only does mytho have a more general / abstract cause to be afraid of tutu & her bringing all these Unknowns & completely new things to him / changing things up and apparently introducing conflict, but you’ve gone and gotten his capacity for fear all recently riled up and specifically afraid of his interaction with You from 5 sec ago, and how could anyone know this mysterious magical being giving you Negative Feelings is like, Safe......and i’m sure it’s all compounding here, like, it’s Wild to be suddenly experiencing A Feeling for the (seeming) first time, and that in itself sure could be Scary, he just hasn’t had the proper emotion available with with to Be Afraid, now he’s gotten back a freshly stoked (capacity for) Fear and how off the shits it must be to be afraid for the first time anyways, or to be feeling the other stuff for the first time, and who knows what Unfun Feelings could come next, there’s a lot to freak out about.......and not like it’s trying That hard to never suggest like oh fakir's not that bad even though he’s technically an antagonist at the start b/c of being at odds with / against the protagonist, it’s pretty telling there lol like he’s unhappy with mytho having feelings again at all and has already been getting mad about it but is just being Helpful here and trying to comfort him, like aw that’s neat i think it’s nice, and again throwing it back to “I Wonder What I Think Of You, Fakir” you get fakir reassuring mytho that nobody but him is around, and mytho having this capacity for Fear is choosing to confide in fakir re: what he’s dealing with here (not that this would on it’s own be some guarantee that mytho’s Right to be unafraid of fakir, but, knowing all we eventually know...) like again lol it’s funny that drosselmeyer’s loving the Drama of mytho only having regained Negative Feelings like, i mean i’m soaking it in as well but it’s like, that guy’s all about Angst and it’s like no im here all about the Hurt/Comfort more like, thank you lmfao

it’s also SO good how it’s like, the next episode is turning around & giving the story a way forward not by like, oh let’s just counteract this Fear mytho’s struggling with by returning the....emotion of Courage i guess, but rather by giving him back Curiosity to ultimately lead to him actually seeking a conversation with tutu.......and it’s like AUGH it’s soooo fun that he goes to that river and has a conversation with his own heart shard lmfao like that’s you!!! and that You does not realize you’re them!!! that’s wild and i love it......wait i took low res screenshots when i rewatched this a few weeks ago lmfao

i Love it lmfao like it’s Such a good choice to have him not only have lost his Emotions but also memories / knowledge of who he, himself, even is.....like yeah man it was all on you to fight this heart eating raven monster!!!!!!!!! which you know, it’s also Fun that earlier in that episode when he and fakir are hanging out in the secret Problems Mill (which....fakir is hilarious like that lmfao. whole other tangent here like ppl are not only rolling with Animals As People but stuff like “yeah fakir might just be like ‘oops gotta go!’ and whisk mytho away to various out of the way Locations” like lmfao these teens have some free rein, but it’s nothing compared to s2 where it’s like “They Were Roommates but ig fakir tried to kill mytho who’s now being really dramatic and weird which is v different from before and maybe he’s in love with that one random dude who’s around now, which sucks for everyone else, oops now he’s just like Vanishing for god knows how long at a time it’s fine!!!!” lmfao like god. ballet school just is like that sometimes...) anyways Yeah that mytho’s been having nightmares about the raven and fakir is just going like IT’S FINE JUST DON’T THINK ABOUT IT lol and knowing fakir is also being pretty driven / restricted by fear, reasonably, as he thinks (well. and is correct) that he’s The Knight and his fate is literally written as “yeah if the story gets going and you’re a part of it you’ll just be killed” like yeah, oof......Wonder What I Think Of You Fakir like yeah AND he is that knight you actually did know who was suddenly killed trying to protect you and he’s sorta accepted that role again except he’s not really a fan of that Being Killed thing so here we’re having some issues in his misguided approach here re: Mytho Should Not Get His Heart Back, but he’s also trying to protect them Both from the story, and he’s only So Willing to act Against mytho, like, well hey thanks for apologizing after you hit him and then like, not doing that anymore lol, v reasonable how he’s struggling here lol where he’s trying to Protect mytho but the story a) wants to invite tragedy and b) has already said that The Knight has been / will be killed and can’t actually protect the prince within the story, also c) he’s just like one random high school guy out here......and also that it must just be kinda hard to adapt to this changing situation where mytho Is regaining this sense of self and motivation, but for like the past decade or whatever he Has needed fakir to just be in charge and tell him what to do all the time and, if he had the sense of what it was to trust someone, trust fakir to just always be acting in his best interest, but then mytho’s idea of his own best interest a) starts to Exist and b) is at odds w/fakir’s b/c also c) he doesn’t have All his feelings yet, Or all his memories, while fakir is like “noooo i know the story”.....like there was never any need to just like tell him he sucks at random times lol but it’s also kind of funny that’s just part of fakir’s shtick, calling mytho a dumbass one more time when he’s just fully himself as The Prince again lmfaooo. but prior to that, surely fakir could wonder what mytho thinks of him (or potentially Could think of him) too.......it’s just soooo good when mytho is like, expressing things verbally while trying to work through / figure out Feelings and even ones that he doesn’t have back yet, and it’s always fun how that inevitably throws off whatever character he’s musing about this to......including whenever ahiru’s just like “oh fuck yes he can do this b/c he has more feelings back now, that rules” and/or “aw :( he’s struggling w/this b/c he only has Some of his heart back”

and also that reminds me it’s SO good when the characters just kinda get to Do Something together lmfao like. ahiru and rue hanging out when looking for mytho that one time, iconic stuff, mytho and ahiru hanging out in the previous episode, iconic, maybe it kills me that in the first ep of s2 you have mytho saying ahiru’s his friend and the only person he feels like he can tell anything (and ahiru feeling bad she hasn’t Told Him Everything lol) and then he basically never gets to interact with her again knowing and as himself like Scream it’s fine ;v; !!!!!! let these people spend more than 3 seconds together Interacting lmfao it’s soooo good when they do :’0

and THEN you get into how there’s all this stuff re: The Story, like, fakir is the reincarnated knight, ahiru is the duck given tutu’s abilities Via a piece of mytho’s heart, but we had the original knight and tutu in the story as these actual ppl who we only hear a Little bit of lore about, but mytho actually knew / knows, and like, the original genesis for tutu only being on 1 Page of the story and apparently drosselmeyer doesn’t even really put any thought into what her motivations could be lol like yeah idk whatever she wants to marry the prince or whatever so that’s why she loves him and Says It and disappears......and like we have almost No direct info about her but uh nbd at least some of her actual essence is actually now an intrinsic part of mytho’s actual heart and specifically embedded in the heart shard of Hope, like damn!!!! you Know there was something more Real and Complex going on there and i love it so much.......and the original Knight, lohengrin.....might have been doomed to be unable to protect mytho with his sword, but there’s other ways to protect that guy and Someone needed to be doing it.......i’m just like wow mytho’s gf and bf!!!! and they both sort of died but hey. there’s still a lot to think about

so yeah lmfao love that you can originally see this series like, a decade ago and here it is like damn still lying down / yelling / generally riled up about mytho and just having So Much to think about / appreciate from this series like. it’s so Singular and has so much going on.......cherish it and i’m just still anytime like [epcot vine voice] Mytho...........

[ghostmartyr]

So if you, like me, have nothing to do but wonder about the state of my inbox, you might rightfully be wondering how I plan to deal with the obscene backlog I have spent so many years failing to deal with.

If you have never wondered that, fear not, that doesn’t exclude you from finding out.

Today we’re just going to go through my entire slew of unanswered asks, and instead of answering them, I am going to provide excuses for why I didn’t do anything with them.

For added fun, several of the asks were in my Drafts.

I will not be cutting out the comments I started to make.

I will no doubt regret this.

Let’s have a time, shall we?

I don’t even know what year this is from. If I remember correctly, I didn’t get back to you because I thought about trying to reason out who would legitimately win, and there were too many points for both sides. I kept intending to come up with a proper answer, then time went by and this got buried.

Though the actual answer is probably “it depends on who gets the main character sticker at the time.”

...

..

.

Well.

I can tell you this is multiple years old.

We, as humans, aren’t equipped for time travel.

I didn’t answer this one because I didn’t feel like it was asking for one, and I’m only reproducing it here because it is really, really funny now.

Two years old. Plus change.

I think the entire reason I never replied to this one is that it cheered me up whenever I scrolled down enough to see it, so thank you.

You know, I entered the link at the time. Really, I did. But then came trying to come up with a comment and what can you really follow that with?

(Click the link.)

Okay then.

I still feel no need to respond to this, so that’s probably why I didn’t to start with.

Historia and literally anyone.

I don’t remember why I didn’t answer this, which usually means some combination of feeling tired and not being in the mood to scroll down to where it was.

Oops.

The thing is, this crosses dangerously close to being a fic idea. Fic ideas take time and effort. You can imagine the absolute dread I felt at having to engage with either concept.

It would have been a lot of fun to do, though. Hats off.

See, again. This is a very interesting concept that requires thought. I can tell you when I received it I was in no mood for anything that required anything of the sort.

I wrote a fic that is possibly never going to see the light of day now where they hang out in a kitchen with hot chocolate together and bond through unstated trauma and Frieda attempting to make things better.

That probably contributed to interfering with imagining how they would actually get along.

Anyway, I ship them slightly in that fic AU. Don’t @ me.

Oh dang. I remember this.

I actually really wanted to answer it, but the problem is that I wanted to come up with a good answer. Every character, tiered by their chances. A full Hunger Games edition of what went down and who killed who.

Then I didn’t.

Anyway, turns out the answer is that no one feels the need to chop of rocking chairs in a hurry, so she’d last a long time!

I didn’t answer this because I try to avoid responding with, “I don’t know.” My secondary answer would probably have been, “By being killed.”

Not that there’s anything wrong with those answers, but unless there’s been a tonal trend in asks, I assume that pithy answers that don’t actually have any meat behind them would not be appreciated.

I would stick to him probably being killed, though. But some signs do point to him being relatively immortal.

Hm.

Hmm.

I don’t know why I didn’t answer this, but I would guess it had something to do with me caring very little about Ymir’s thoughts on anything outside of her little clutch of people. And ongoing trauma of repeated dead/alive Ymir commentary killing off my desire to come up with a good answer.

Sorry?

I... have no idea why I didn’t answer this? Maybe I didn’t see it?

Anyway, yes.

There’s a longer version behind that yes, and I’m sure that might have contributed to never getting around to answering this. ...Assuming a past where I did actually see this one.

I have a confession.

I don’t really like crossovers.

There’s a sliding scale of degree, but that’s basically why this didn’t get a response.

Ah, we’ve landed on a recurring theme.

Sometimes, answers involve me thinking about the entire cast.

The usual consequence of that is I don’t have the energy for that, so nothing ever happens with these.

Oh, this one’s easy.

I had no fucking clue.

No ideas, head empty.

That didn’t seem like a good answer, so here we are, probably around a year later. I still have no clue. If I were forced to write a singing duo AU, I would probably just put some adjectives and nouns into a blender and flip a coin.

Names are hard.

I think I didn’t answer this one because I felt like I’d answered similar asks before. And I’m not really sure when this is from, but it’s possible canon complicated coming up with an answer that wasn’t distressed screeching.

Something something give Connie and Mikasa hugs, not partial about where they get them from.

Apparently not. Oops.

I can’t remember why I didn’t respond to this one. It’s possible the oodles of bad parenting proved too distracting to formulate such a post.

Sometimes I get an ask, and my immediate, gut reaction is, how the fuck should I know?

If I can move past that, the ask is answered.

If I can’t, the ask continues its descent through scroll hell.

I am sorry. There are no answers here.

Yeah, this is just the same as the above, just with I have no idea.

It’d probably be a Madoka Magic deal.

Huh. I don’t remember passing this one over. If I were to guess a timeline, I was probably too bitter over potential post-timeskip looks that I never got to be interested in focusing on the characters lucky enough to get good ones.

Go Connie for being less short, I suppose.

This clearly belonged to something that I was doing, but time has eroded the context, so I am simply left with failure and disappointment on all sides. Sorry.

Aw, we’re getting into the boring part of the inbox now, I think. Not because of the questions; you guys are always great. But I can’t think of a reason why I wouldn’t have answered this, which leads me to think that the reason was I was too tired to put words together.

That’s a boring reason, so maybe I should go into Drafts for the next few...

Yeah, still unfairly prejudiced against crossovers. I am no fun, etc. etc.

I have no memory of it, but I feel like I didn’t answer this because there was no way I could match this kindly anon’s enthusiasm.

You go, random internet person.

You have good ideas.

Oh no.

Uh.

See.

I know exactly why I didn’t answer this one.

I am so sorry, Anon.

I really didn’t care.

I am filled with affection for you because you clearly do, but uh.

...I basically put this on Read.

This has a very simple, ie boring, explanation. Any time someone asks about the cast as a whole, I want to think about the cast as a whole, and that takes a lot more thought than most of the asks I get. Cue putting it off. Cue it getting lost in scroll hell. On and on we go until we end up here.

Anything that opens with kilometers is something that requires more brain power than I have had in the past year.

Also I think I got this during a spoiler week, so I saw it, but I was trying not to look at it, and then it got lost in the post-chapter asks.

That happens a lot.

We might see it more soon.

If I can’t come up with words more than “-shrug-” I try not to answer.

...Good news, though!

The manga did my job for me!

I feel like I answered some variation of this. That might be why I didn’t answer this specific one.

The wiki does a better job keeping track of the timeline than I ever have. I probably didn’t answer this because it would involve trying to remember which volume actually name-dropped a number of weeks or months. Searching for lines I know a character said is pretty easy, but searching out lines I have a vague feeling of someone providing? That tends to hit the frustration button with the force of a truck.

But yeah, if you ever want to know how long something took, the wiki is absolutely your friend. They do good work.

Consider: “What if” questions are hard, and I am lazy.

This is actually one I really did mean to get to, sorry. It’s an interesting thought, and I miss Sasha.

...I clearly did a magnificent job answering your asks, friend.

Prediction asks are hard for me; I feel like I’m throwing darts randomly into the air and the dartboard is still deciding if it’s going to show up. So uh. I guess I just kept putting this off until it didn’t get answered.

This post is going to have so many apologies. Implied and otherwise.

I continue to be the No Fun Police who accidentally-on-purpose avoids crossover commentary.

I feel like I didn’t answer this one entirely because seeing it in my inbox gave me far too much joy to have it lost in a sea of posts.

This is what my inbox was made for.

I have no idea when this was from, but I see your emotions and appreciate them, Anon.

...Did I not see this one?

Hey, Anon who probably doesn’t remember sending this: This is a good ask and deserved some good attention, and I’m sorry I missed my shot at it. Good thoughts.

I didn’t answer this one entirely because I knew I couldn’t match the energy of it, and responding with anything less felt heretical.

That is one hell of a mood, Anon.

This is definitely from the era of, “Can’t think, brain empty.” Sorry about not getting back to you, I just really couldn’t organize my thoughts well enough to come up with an answer.

I feel like I didn’t know what this was continuing from and was too exhausted to ask.

LOOK YOU CAN SEE I WANTED TO ANSWER THIS BECAUSE IT’S A DRAFT.

Too many things, Anon.

I liked so many things about all of that. Trying to turn that enthusiasm into words wasn’t agreeing with me, so I put it in Drafts and told myself one day I’d do the most awesome post detailing everything.

Intentions, huh?

Every time I tried to take a normal screenshot with formatting Tumblr just laughed at me, so that might have been a contributing factor.

Dang, I’m really sorry. This is another one of those cases where I wanted to take my time with a response, and I took too long.

I, uh.

Am guilty of not being too interested in pondering Ymir’s thoughts on Levi or Erwin.

That’s it, that’s the explanation.

Yeah, I just couldn’t come up with an answer here? Or someone else asked? Or several of my friends decided to be annoying about lists on Discord? I don’t even know.

Presumably there could be a list.

There is not.

Honestly, I just couldn’t figure out how to follow that starting sentence up. A thought exercise on Armin, Historia, gender, and themes sounded really interesting, and I put it in Drafts so as not to forget it being interesting.

Then, you know. This post sort of paints the picture.

Ah.

Man, I really was looking forward to putting some proper thought into this. That’s the problem with having so many things I love in one place, I guess. Symbolism? Historia and Ymir? Mikasa? So many good things! Where do I start!

With paralyzing indecision that results in not a lot. Sorry, Anon. This really did light up my day when I got it.

Here’s the thing about me and writing:

I often fail to.

(I love both these ideas, though.)

Yes.

Do I know why I didn’t get around to answering this?

Absolutely not.

But yes, I’d agree with that.

GOOD NEWS!

The manga actually gave us some of them together in the future.

I occasionally giggled over their shared distaste.

It was a good time.

And this is another one I just do not know why I didn’t answer, whoops.

This never got answered because I couldn’t come up with an answer.

Broad questions are scary because they can go just about anywhere and I didn’t know how to handle that level of commitment.

I think I didn’t answer this one, A), because words are hard, and B), because mostly I just wanted to listen to more of your wondering and less of mine.

I probably could have answered this by saying I don’t have any, but that seemed rude, so I didn’t respond to it at all.

Yep.

Frieda is worthy of my time and effort.

Landing this in Drafts instead of my inbox.

Where the lighting makes it more obvious that hope has gone there to die.

I think about it so much too.

I find the answers fundamentally upsetting.

That is probably why I did not provide an answer here.

That is a lot of kids to make up headcanons for.

So I didn’t.

She’s eaten by dogs before she develops a personality.

Since that seemed like the wrong thing to say, I said nothing, and into Drafts this went.

‘I have no earthly clue’ seemed similarly unhelpful.

At this point, we understand that there is no mystery to my backlog.

This one hurts.

-sees the 112 reference-

Wow does it hurt.

As I hope is obvious, I really, really loved this question, and kept meaning to carve out time to work on it specifically. What went sideways was trying to put words to how EMA functions. I knew the feel of what I wanted to express, but every time I tried to write it, it came out wonky.

I’m very sorry I couldn’t do anything for this, because I was thrilled to spend time with it.

I didn’t answer this because Fuck Marley.

It’s nothing against you. At the time, I simply wasn’t in any mood to consider any version of Marley. Even the canon version was too much for me, so giving it my time in a roleswap AU had me hissing.

Roleswaps in general are amazing, and I love them a lot. A dedicated person could make a fantastic one based around Marley and Paradis. I think it would probably be cool af.

But I was so tired of Marley when I got this, I just couldn’t make myself think about it. Sorry. It’s a fun idea.

I didn’t answer this one because I kept trying to extend my response past, “I think he just really likes baseball.”

I think he just really likes baseball.

My feelings on that as a quality answer are derogatory.

Mm. The ones where I actually tried to get something started hurts.

Ultimately, this ask was a larger demand than I could make my brain work through at the time. I made sure to write down the tl;dr version of Sasha’s, because I found that desperately important, and not something that people talk about much, but the additional weight of trying to think of themes for multiple characters made it hard to progress.

Me, looking at the prompts: Hi my brain left me.

Sorry, Anon. Too many gears were moving for me to get a proper feel for what I wanted to do with this one, so I ended up ditching it. ...I was planning to finish it, though. Eventually. See, I even put the quote in the Draft version as a reminder of what I was doing, so I could get back to it right away.

Yeeeeah, this is just one more to the “I will give this wonderful thing all the time it deserves!” pile.

The pile is stored in the Failure Corner.

Perfectionism is the enemy of progress.

You guys really like crossovers.

I love that for you.

-spends two years ignoring you-

I mean, I just didn’t know what to do with the rainbows.

They sure are there.

They sure are pretty.

I sure couldn’t come up with a comment to add.

...I don’t know why I didn’t answer this. Possibly because I think it’s fine? I’m not too attached to it, and spent the whole manga period wanting to watch an anime version instead, then we got an anime version.

I’d guess that my general “meh” feelings interfered with responding here.

No idea why I didn’t answer this.

Yes, and good for you.

I support all thoughts on giving the Reiss kiddos personalities.

I think I didn’t get back to you on this because I wasn’t sure how to encourage you to keep going so I just sat awkwardly on my hands and felt weird about not saying anything.

...Thanks for sharing!

I love how it’s the little things that date these.

Unfortunately, we’re now at the point where 90% of the reason I didn’t answer was because I was too sick to muster up anything approaching enthusiasm.

Or because I’d just finished answering a bunch of chapter-specific things and was burnt out.

This felt pretty self-explanatory to me, so I felt like that gave me permission to ignore it.

Also, it mentions Marley.

I might be slightly petty.

Really though, I think what stopped me from giving a proper answer is that the question of what an author is trying to say throws me off a little. I work better thinking of it in terms of what the story is saying, with the author just happening to be the hands that wrote it all down.

I don’t know. This was probably another case of feeling like I should give this more of my time than I was able.

I couldn’t decide.

That’s it.

That’s the reason.

Everyone needs to give Mikasa a hug.

My blog title for a hug.

-the crossover snake hisses and consumes another-

I am so sorry.

This is fun.

I probably should have just gone with posting and saying so, because I am genuinely charmed by this. I tend to feel like I have to add something to asks to justify the post. That policy maybe didn’t need to be a thing.

I love my anons.

I want that to be clear.

Really, I do.

I especially love their willingness to embrace my crackpot logic.

Still.

Sometimes, the only response one can have to Schrodinger’s Ymir is to ignore its existence, find a pillow, and scream into it for the rest of time.

This replaces typing.

-looks at Armin-

-looks at Eren-

Yeah, don’t know why I didn’t answer this one, either. I blame tiredness? Sorry about that.

I feel like I didn’t answer this one because it felt like work.

This is where I start considering that making this post was a mistake.

I could have just agreed with you and gone about my day.

Probably should have.

Did not.

Another one for that, “had nothing to add so I just left it in a corner, abandoned and unloved,” pile.

There is an apology section at the end, but we’re not there yet.

This one I don’t think I noticed.

Alternatively, I did notice, and wasn’t sure “Yes,” would pass as a good enough answer.

--------------------------------------

Okay, time to really just get into it: I think for the remainder of my inbox, I didn’t answer because physically, I was just too damn exhausted, and I kept waiting for a point in time where I’d feel better. Sorry to put a limit on the personalization, but in the end, that’s all there was to it, and rephrasing it a dozen times will make me crazy.

And here we are.

Well.

Good grief, do you guys even have any clue how much I like all of you?

Obviously there’s a lot of guilt in the above, because I can’t tell you how much I wanted, each time, to give a great answer that would make you thrilled you messaged me. I am so sorry to all of these I didn’t get to. There were days when the alerts in my inbox were the best thing to happen to me, and I never wanted to let any of them go without acknowledgment.

I try to say thank you as often as I can in my responses, because that’s as close as I can get to reminding you all, constantly, that I am grateful for your participation. The only times I don’t say it is when I worry that it’ll look like it’s being done out of habit, not genuine gratitude. Or when I think you might take it the wrong way if I say thanks for a basic conversation. Because you provide me content and make me interested in things I might not normally look twice at.

There are so many instances of people saying hi, and thank you, and wishing everyone well here.

I haven’t been active in the larger fandom in two years, but I have always been so happy that you guys kept dropping by my space anyway.

You are a pleasure and light in my life, no matter how much snark I might throw about.

Thank you all.

[tuwasduwillst]

Shadowbringers (pt 4/end)

This just has spoilers for everything, basically. :U I finished it and don’t feel like splitting stuff up because I have over 1k screenshots to go through...

Katana-bearing Centurion: Besides, there is but one hand that can make me whole again. My enemy... my friend...

He probably just says “friend” there in Japanese, but I don’t have my whole game switched, so I don’t get to know for sure. Good to know you’re still being weird, Zenos.

Don’t you smirk at me like that, mister.

Here’s Urianger being handsome, as usual

I hated fighting this old dude as Thancred.

1) I still can’t believe he can easily take out the WoL like he did

2) Stop making me be sword dudes!!

3) I get why they wanted people to see the dialogue here, but it was so slooooow and I died once near the end and had to do it all over again and ughhh, just go away

Ryne looks cute with her new hair and eyes, at least. :) Thancred is still a bad dad, but at least he’s doing better now... I guess.

Also, Urianger’s reaction to finding out that Thancred was paying attention to some of his talks about pixies was really good, haha.

...I wanna listen to Urianger give a pixie lecture...

Wow

This was something the game threw together when I asked it to pick recommended gear. It’s... some kind of look.

The Exarch/G’raha Tia is a qt. Y’know, I figured it was probably G’raha Tia, but I didn’t remember him being so short... and the lack of cat ears also made me doubt myself, haha.

I’m really glad I did the Crystal Tower stuff, though, because otherwise I’d... well, I’d still think that G’raha Tia/the Exarch is cute and like him a lot, but it wouldn’t have had the same impact.

I took a bunch of screenshots of Mikh’a. :U

& Emet-Selch, ofc

that one old dude: If you would pass me, you must endure all that I have learned on the battlefield... For I am a weapon forged in the fires of war!

~*oooh, I’m so scared of you and your tiny amount of health left*~

My MP doesn’t even have a dent in it, really. This is why I had such a hard time believing this dude could take out the WoL!! Even the first time we fought, I had tons of MP available to me and could’ve made a full recovery from being brought down to 1 HP. (...well, I have Benediction which is kind of cheating, but still.)

At least this was the last time I had to deal with him. He’s probably the worst thing about the expansion, which I guess I can deal with since the rest of it was so good.

Lots of really pretty screenshot opportunities in this expansion. c:

Mt. Gulg is something I thought was common to a bunch of FF games for some reason, but apparently it was in the original Final Fantasy, FFIX, and some random spin-off games. Weird.

How did Mikh’a hear him talking from that far away??

Emet-Selch has such a good design and you can tell that a lot of work was put into him. The expressions he makes, the way he stands and walks--it’s all unique to him and it makes him stand out a lot.

Even after everything that happened in the expansion, I’m really fond of him. They made the right move in having him kind of forge a more personal relationship with you/the WoL, because if he hadn’t been obnoxious in the background throughout most of the expansion it wouldn’t have been anywhere near as interesting/good as it ended up being.

I obviously chose to say that they were all Alphinaud’s assistants. :P

This little scene was so cute... lali-hos for everyone...

Crystal Exarch: Ugh! I would thank you not to shoot me!

I’m sorryyyyyy ; ~; You were there and I wanted to see what would happen!!!

Crystal Exarch: Ah heh... It may interest you to know that Mikh’a is a great hero in the land whence he hails. Some would say the greatest.

This little venture made me feel like I’d suddenly gotten married and adopted a child

(Which I’d be totally fine with, tbh.)

I loved this thing, actually!! I got to heal G’raha Tia, he healed me, we both healed our new tiny dwarf child, it was great.

c:

I’m still using the Mogrod. I’m never going to stop using it. Give me another thing that has a flower and swirly rainbows all over and maybe I’ll switch weapons, but until then? No.

...unless there’s, like... a really, really pretty plant weapon, especially if it matches Mikh’a’s outfit... but I don’t think there is.

I got to put my bubble on them. :D

He’s so cuuuuuute. And Mikh’a clearly agrees with my thoughts on him, considering the expression on his face when he looks at him.

One of the reasons I keep Mikh’a wearing the WHM gear is because I really like the contrast I get--a lot of the major characters wear black, so it looks nice when they stand next to each other. :D

Katana-bearing Centurion: The whereabouts of my one true friend, however--they interest me greatly. I but hope the beasts of this “First” are providing him proper sport.

Zenos is so funny to me. He just pops up like “did someone mention my friend” while his dad and Elidibus are having a serious conversation.

Innocence has beautiful hair and if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes I’d never believe that he was Vauthry.

You can kind of see @tarifu in this screenshot! :D

You can definitely see her here--wait... why is half the party wearing dwarf beard outfits...

This is probably weird to say, but I genuinely like when characters I play in games like this suffer/are in pain. Not, like... constantly. I just like it when NPCs get to express concern and you aren’t some kind of unbreakable hero 24/7. >_>

Obviously I was going to say his name, who wouldn’t.

This made me cry!! I thought he was dead. :C

But thankfully Emet-Selch didn’t want him dead, so he did not die.

...why’d he even need a gun? Has he always had a gun?

I wish I could just float off into the sky after ruining everything and being a big jerk

sad kitty

I died when I came here with Jack and Mari because I didn’t realize I was being targeted by the boss until it was too late. :,)

I got to practice using my shield, though!! I’m not used to having one so I’m not super great at remembering it exists and using it; the tether thing is a good visual for “this specific person is going to be damaged soon and a shield would be Good”. ...unless everyone’s bunched up and I can’t tell who has it until it’s too late, I guess.

I know I’m level 80 now, but there’s still a lot I haven’t done and I’m still trying to figure out what the best way to do things is sometimes... I still need to mess with my hotbars and stuff, actually. I think I might switch some things around more than I already have, because some useful things aren’t as easy to use as they could/should be and I’ve been wanting to mess around with stuff for a while. The Trust dungeons should be a really good opportunity to test new configurations! Or the squad dungeons, I guess. :/a

I’m still not Ardbert’s biggest fan, but I don’t dislike him.

Poor Urianger, getting stuck with the role of the only other person to know the Exarch’s plans. :(

& then everyone died going to the bottom of the sea and the game ended

I got to help put dwarf helmets on sineaters :U

I also remembered that I have fancy wings now, wheee

I got a nice new outfit after doing my last Healer role quest! :D I like it a lot~ The whites are brighter than the last outfit, and the bit in back accommodates his tail much better than the corset did.

I might play around with mixing and matching some pieces once I get newer stuff, but for now this is what I’ve got! c:

...and I refuse to wear the hat. 100%. I’m not making Mikh’a look like a weird nun. :|

Amaurot was really good, even if being there mostly just made me sad. >_> The not-people were so cute and nice, though...

Big

The WoL hanging out on this giant bench is so cute.

I liked getting to talk to Emet-Selch’s friend. c: Well... kind of, anyway. Since it’s not really his friend...

tiny

Emet-Selch: I have broken bread with you, fought with you, grown ill, grown old! Sired children and yes, welcomed death’s sweet embrace.

I still don’t 100% understand how Ascians work, but I guess it’s canon that Emet-Selch fucks :/a

I regret typing that, I think, but it is apparently true

i think your fireplace has something wrong with it

Really though, this dungeon was excellent.

Alisaie decided that she wanted to LB right as one of the bosses was doing one of those “hide behind a rock Or You Will Die” things so she died & I accidentally walked right off the edge near the end of the last boss fight (oops), but other than that things went okay!

D:

ardbert could you please clean your axe somehow before you point it at me like that. tia

This was a really neat moment :U

I’m not calling Emet-Selch Hades ever. Sorry, Emet-Selch.

I was kind of afraid to do this trial and almost waited until someone would be able to do it with me, but it really wasn’t that bad in the end!

...except for when I died five times to the same attack... orz It was that arm-sweeping one, too, so it’s not like it’s not obvious that it’s coming. My problem was that I kept getting Raised in bad places right before it happened, so he basically just kept smacking me down over and over again.

(Which was partially my fault, because I should’ve waited to accept the Raise until I knew it was safe to be alive, but... I don’t like leaving the other healer alone and I don’t want to just be lying there uselessly if I can avoid it.)

Fortunately(?) the party wiped due to something completely unrelated (a failed mechanic I had nothing to do with) and I didn’t die at all the second time around! So at least there was that.

I liked this bit in the dark. c:

I also liked when I got trapped in the bubble and didn’t have to do anything. Thanks, Emet-Selch!

Genuinely though, it was a nice little chance for me to calm the hell down because my anxiety was getting real bad before/during this fight. >_>

Poor dude. :c Obviously he’s responsible for some absolutely terrible things and I’m not going to try to deny that or anything, but he’s lived for so long and he’s had to deal with the loss of basically everyone he ever cared about for that whole time. He recreated that entire city and all of its people, that’s how much he cared.

Still no excuse for basically trying to kill all of the people he didn’t consider “real”! But also still sad, IMO.

This made me go “awww” out loud and start to tear up, haha...

I didn’t want to leave him ; ~;

Estinien said a full sentence here about how these guards were dead, too (in a way that implied he assumed that’s what they’d find), and the localization translated it as “hmph”. Kind of a weird choice there, but okay.

Zenos basically went Full Yandere since he killed his father just because he could potentially get in the way of his thing with the WoL, so... that’s something that’s going to have to be dealt with at some point.

I’m interested in seeing how things go, but I’m also a wee bit concerned that other people might get caught up in whatever this obsession is. I don’t want anyone to get hurt or killed because of Zenos’s yandere tendencies. :(

Elidibus is being Boring on the moon.

But who cares about that! I got to lead a Girl Scout meeting for my level 80 WHM quest.

Oh! Almost forgot about the story I got to tell the girls: “The tale of a man who crossed time and space to save the world... and me.”

I think the second one is about (original) Minfilia, maybe? :/a I wanted to tell them about G’raha Tia, though.

Aaaand that’s all I’ve done! \o/ I unlocked a new dungeon and I know there’s more than one post-80 dungeon, so I’ll probably check those out when I get a chance... but I finished the main stuff.

Which is kinda weird, because now I’m done again, haha... but I’ve got plenty of stuff to do before the next new stuff comes out. Especially since I discovered that Vamo alla Flamenco is the “dancer’s theme”, apparently. Need to dance ASAP >:O

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

One Punch Man 13 (S2 Ep 1) | Afterlost 1 | RobiHachi 1 | Kimetsu no Yaiba 2 - 3 | BSD 25 - 26 (S3 Eps 1 - 2) | King of Prism - Shiny 7 Stars 1 | Shield Hero 14 - 16 | Double Decker! EX 3 | Sarazanmai 2

The shows that have made it this season will be getting their tags...soon. Because I fell behind early in the season, trying to read ahead is nastier than it really should be...

Update: I forgot to roll out the tags...! Sorry about that.

One Punch Man 2 1

This season’s name…sounds counterintuitive, to say the least.

I love how Genos is carrying a box of hijiki (which looks like hair) and Saitama’s wearing a shirt that says “hair” (in kanji) all over it. It’s funny for a bald man and his “work of modern art”.

I never knew Genos was so blunt. Maybe because the last season was a good 2 – 3 years ago…and was by Madhouse and Shingo Natsume, and so this feels slightly different.

Oh, Sonic…! I didn’t realise how much I missed you! (Not to mention, you look hot with the off-the-shoulder shirt, y’know?)

“Enoki” is a type of mushroom.

Oh, Garou!...Oh wait, there isn’t much more of the episode left, is there…?

Afterlost 1

Oh great…this is the second time the subs don’t work on my device of choice. Then again, it seems to be a problem with the ad blocker and not the video…Okay, fiddling with the ad blocker worked.

Let’s play Spot the Main Character Amongst All the CGI Guys! Yay! (obviously sarcastic)

Without the volume…this OP is, to not put it lightly, s***.

Shoumetsu means “extinction”, not “lost”.

And the reward for Jankiest CGI this season belongs to…

Okay…this is stupid…if it f**ks up even more, I’m out of here!

I know the horned owl is your mascot, but that doesn’t mean you needed a real owl.

Waittttttttt…how did the scientists know Yuki’s father was responsible for this stuff anyway?

I feel like Takuya was shoehorned in. I mean, there’s a better example of this character type in Naofumi (Shield Hero).

This guy’s name, as we know it, is Geek. Wow (sarcastic). Also, I find it funny Takuya has a “ta” on his licence plate.

“…she’s just a package.” - Welp, you don’t get any more blatant than that for female denigration! I think Anime Feminist had a field day with this one.

Come to think of it, I saw some helmets back at Geek’s place but Takuya never seems to use one…

You had one job, Takuya…*sigh*

I swear I said a few previews ago I don’t like 1st person cam…no one ever listens to me, do they???

Not dis shitto agen!

Okay, enough complaining. It seems Yu-no wasn’t bad enough, so they had to produce something like the Chaos Dragon and Seisen Cerberus of old…

RobiHachi 1

It’s Takamatsu being Takamatsu again. Also… I forgot to mention this earlier, but…Taiga Umatani seems to be related to Kurari Umatani (who is credited for Boueibu), so…I wonder if it’s a collective writer’s name for Studio Comet, like Izumi Todo for Toei? The only thing that goes against that is the fact “Kurari” existed during the Diomedea days of Boueibu. Also Isekandar seems to be related to Yamato’s Iscandar (which Takamatsu seems to like, based on the fact he once used Matsumoto metres as a shorthand for being in space). If you don’t understand, Yamato’s endgoal contains a place called Iscandar and that’s by Leiji Matsumoto.

Okayyyyy…what are these rabbit creatures…? But yes, it does smack of Boueibu simply because the episode layout’s the same.

Hmm…? So Robby seems be En (the do-nothing life) in spirit, but Kinshiro in background, but also he runs away from his fortune. “Hmm” indeed.

Oh! That’s what this string of misfortunes reminds me of! The monsters of the day from Boueibu.

Acrymalide.

Hatchi is a Kinshiro in looks but an Atsushi by being a goody-goody.

Hmm…they actually bother to show girls now…apparently Takamatsu went to a boys-only school, which is why his original works focus on dudes (as in, you can pick out when Takamatsu is adapting someone else’s work because it has a heavier focus on girls as supporting characters).

Mechs and spaceships are probably two of the only ways I accept CGI…and you, Takamatsu sir, have just done it (the latter)!

Aw! Lookit his (Hatchi’s) face light up like a Beppu’s! It’s cute!

Hatchi getting out the hatch…lame, but still somewhat effectve on me (because that’s my wordplay game you’re playing, Takamatsu…!).

LOL, it’s a transforming mech. It seems my words from a few comments earlier were basically foretelling the future.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 2

Yikes, “Sakonji Urokodaki” has a lot of strokes…

My Little Sister Lives For Headpats…hey wait, don’t all anime kid sisters do that(?)

For some reason, I know the “Don’t Lose Your Way” meme from Kill la Kill and yet I’ve never…watched KlK…?(!)

I swore that was Giyu (it’s the haircut, I swear), but it’s a random demon…

When all you have is a hatchet…use your head. (LOL)

Ooh, nice eyecatch!

This is really black comedy, in a sense. (I remember this demon fight from the manga which is why I say that.)

Hmm…this wispy stuff wasn’t in the manga.

Come to think of it, I don’t know how Tanjiro got his scar…

If you squint really hard, you can see CGI Urokodaki and Tanjiro…

He probably has no footsteps because of his shoes. Or the fact he’s a ninja. Were there ninja in the Taisho era…? Update: Tanjiro has the same kind of shoes…oops.

Come to think of it, Daisuke from DN Angel had to dodge traps every day before he became Dark…(thinking of this because I reread the first volume of DN Angel recently)

Oh! Manga panel preview! That’s quite fun, really.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 3

I just really like how Tanjiro’s eyes grew larger with what was clearly resolution before he closed the door.

Why do the non-descript hunters look like Giyu too…?

I’ve never seen KnY so comedic…and that’s coming from someone who thought the Head Demon fight from last episode was funny.

Welp, this is…kinda interesting (<- says a fan of Touken Ranbu).

This letter writing…it reminds me of Kekkai Sensen somewhat.

This realistic water…it’s beautiful, but it looks like it came straight out of Niagara Falls. Is that…too realistic for anime?

“No matter…”

It’s a fox version of Speed of Sound Sonic! Then again, the real Sonic is around this season and probably won’t be happy about that comparison…

Is “that guy”…Giyu? Or the demon who slaughtered Tanjiro’s family?

Spider lilies! I didn’t mention it last time, but the symbolism of the spider lily makes the ED real cool.

Bungou Stray Dogs 26

I’v read the wiki page for Chuuya enough to know the next few eps involve the LN Fifteen, so even though I haven’t read a translation of the source material, I know some of the ins and outs of it already.

Ooh! Kitty! (If you’re a manga reader, you’ll know the cat’s significance.)

I think at this point in time, all viewers are used to Dazai’s bulls*** by now.

Is it just me…or did Bones use CGI for the city? It actually looks kind of good…! Sasuga Bones!

I have a fic that predates Fifteen and could be set in the same period (the fic’s vague enough that it could’ve been them at 15, 18 or even 12)…and basically the only thing I got wrong was the fact Chuuya doesn’t have his hat (because I wrote Chuuya as having his hat in the fic). Also, the banter is tenser than I imagined it, but that’s subjective and something only I, the fic writer, can compare.

I wonder who the yellow-tinted Ability holder is…? Update: That’s Randou. Spoke too soon.

There was a box in the subs…I wonder what symbol that might’ve been.

“…closest to the explosion.”

BSD 3 2

Oh, so that’s what Randou was for! I see now.

Chuuya may be OP, but he’s one heck of a fun character…also, he’s not as OP as Saitama, so…yeah.

Oh, the ED from last time is the OP. I should’ve known.

I like the almost storybook-style of this episode!

I thought Dazai was faking releasing the hostages…I was wrong.

Face-stealing aliens return! (They were around last ep too, I think, but they were harder to see then.)

Again, watch for the cat!

Well, with only one suspect (or 3, if you count the Sheep kids), it was quite easy to figure out one of them was behind it. I kind of suspected Randou, anyway, considering what I’ve learnt from all the mysteries I’ve read.

Because I was watching this episode with the volume down low (so I could hear the OP and ED), the volume really did work wonders for the plot this ep…!

King of Prism – Shiny 7 Stars 1

This is the final debut of the season, so basically how this and Shield Hero perform will decide what will stay and what will go. Oh, yeah…apparently this is the companion to a movie, but the movie and TV series have slightly different content.

This dude’s (the one at the very start’s) so grumpy.

…welp, I didn’t expect it to be that much CGI.

This chunk of exposition…makes me feel like I missed something. It was probably in the previous movies, come to think of it…

Basically, this is…uh, Makura no Danshi or Room Mate all over again??? I’m noping out of here…! Bye!

Shield Hero 14

I’m putting this on the chopping block…just so you know.

…uh, age gap romance? It’s hard to tell at this stage, but they (Filo and Melty) sure act like it is romance.

Welp, this survived the chopping block. “Raphtalia backstory” is a good enough reason to stick around for, isn’t it?

Double Decker! EX 3 (FINAL)

I always miss the OP when I’m not watching Double Decker, but I miss the ED even more…

I can’t believe they tried to get away with a Spirited Away parody…!

I can’t believe I get to see Dr Apple all buttered up like this…

I love how Kirill is censoring himself. (At least he can prove he’s not a girl, unlike Valery/Milla, whose entire shtick is the confusion between genders.)

Oh! I think I know the answer to the case already! It was Kirill’s soap, so Doug is the “killer”. But then…why is it Derick, of all people???

LOL, the angles were so reminiscent of Detective Conan…

Underwear-stealing sextuplets…? Why does that kind of sound like Osomatsu-san…?

Ahh…I really am going to miss this ED. See you next time!

Shield Hero 15

I never thought Raphtalia would be so angry…that’s Naofumi’s job.

Okay…it’s the age-old question: do demis listen with their animal ears or their human ears? Do they even have human ears??? (That’s 2 questions, isn’t it…?)

Uh…CGI dinosaur, much?

Shield Hero 16

…and of course, the Queen is a loli. Of course (<-sarcastic).

“Why’d I even have to feed this KFC farm?” – LOL, but I wonder what it sounded like in Japanese…? (i.e. I didn’t listen to it and when I try to do that, there’s always something over the top of it…)

Sarazanmai 2

I wonder if I’ll ever get used to watching Ikuhara on a weekly basis…?

Kappamaki…geddit?

Wait…y’mean, Keppi’s breath smells like cucumbers? Uh…okay, TMI.

Enta’s Japanese house kind of looks like the one in Mawaru Penguindrum.

Wait…why does the Japanese word for “Fish Buffet” (Osakanazanmai) end in –zanmai? Does that mean Sarazanmai is…Dish Buffet?! (LOL)

Notably, one of the signs said “Union” in katakana. It must be an English play on words…y’know, trade union and union = connecting with each other? I’m surprisingly enjoying myself a lot with Sarazanmai, by the way. I didn’t think I would, but I am!

I think that might be Irohassu water. Or Dasani. I saw both those brands in Japan, but I don’t remember which had the green flowers.

Oh…my goodness! Nekoyama (Cat Mountain) Mokichi (written with kanji for “hair” and “luck”). It’s a Boueibu monster! Frick, I’m laughing too hard!

It’s very small and very thin, but the word next to the cat in the eyecatch is neko.

“…Meow God!” – It’s a pun on “Oh, My God!” but with a “meow” in it. It’s pretty forced, but it does get the nuance of the joke across…

Why the heck did the subbers choose “herb” as the word for weed in this? “Weed” is sufficient, right? Right…?

Well…if that spurt of water wasn’t symbolic…I don’t know what is.

The title translates better as “…but I want to steal”. Y’know, add a little force into it.

The two As and the “sara” below it seem to make a zombie face, huh?

Ooh, that ending…

[sandalwoodhusbands]

for him.

Lucas posts music covers on youtube and there’s a guy who keeps sending him the most original photos he’s ever seen.

(also on ao3) // previous

                                                          I

A year and a half later

Way Down We Go // Kaleo (Cover) – by turnupthelucas

lucasxlallemant21:

Oh my god so fucking goooood! Your voice keeps getting better and better <3

  + turnupthelucas: thank you!

elio0oliverr:

that wink at the end??? ended the world’s problems

lallemantstan:

my wig is on the floor, my skin is clean and my ears cry with glee

harrysdimple:

Mr. Lucas Lallemant really out there changing the music industry uh

ghostlypitch:

When are we going to get original content?

  + turnupthelucas: soon ;)

     + lustiel: OHMYF GOD CHRISTIE ALSFNEGEJK

     + malectrash: JE SUIS DEAD

     (View other 5097 responses)      

slipperysnow:

we need more videos with lucas playing the guitar. so hot

Lucas locks his phone, smiling to himself.

It all started as a joke, as most things do. In the beginning, it had just been him and Yann, a viral shitty 15second recording and a guitar.

Yann had been messing around with some strumming patterns on Lucas’ bed, playing some famous tunes at random.

Lucas had been unaware of the phone against the headboard filming him spin around the room with his desk chair, so when he heard the first notes of the acoustic version of Break up with your girlfriend, I’m bored, he didn’t hesitate to belt out the lyrics like there was no tomorrow.

Yann had posted it on his Instagram story without Lucas knowing.

When Lucas logged on his own Instagram account a couple hours later, he felt very confused at the rising number of followers and odd requests to ‘post more videos’ he got, to say the least.

He hadn’t really thought about his voice before that day, but he had to admit the clip sounded pretty fucking good. So he said to himself, why not? - worst case scenario, the video is a complete flop and his friends mock him for a week.

Needless to say, it was the furthest thing from a flop. In the span of a month his first ‘official’ video hit 700k views on YouTube, and so many people begged for more covers in the comment section that he filmed another one. And then another one. And then, well - then he never really stopped.

Which brings him to this day. With over 300k followers on Instagram and more than a couple of millions views on YouTube, he is one of the most popular artists in France at the moment.

He has viewers all over the globe, people send him letters (and the occasional gift) almost daily, and he's sometimes recognized when he goes out for drinks with the gang.

He’s living his best life, basically.

“Lucas” Yann groans from the sit next to him. “Can you please concentrate on the screen?”

Lucas lifts his head up and looks at the tv screen just in time to witness a geared up man appear out of nowhere, shooting his character in the head.

“Oops.”

The game’s menu glares at him in colors of red and black as Yann chucks the controller at his stomach half heartedly.

Lucas grins at him sheepishly, scratching his head.

“C’mon, restart the game. No distractions this time, I promise.”

His best friend raises an eyebrow.

“If I catch you looking at your phone even once,” Lucas raises his hands in mock surrender. “I swear I will choke you with my own hands. And not in the kinky way.”

Lucas snorts, putting his phone down on the table. He readjusts himself on the sofa, back pressed against the cushions, and sits with his feet tucked under his legs.

“Okay, I’m ready.” He clasps his hands together. “Press play.”

The sound of Yann pressing the controller’s button and Lucas’ phone going off intertwine in time.

“Really?” Yann complains as he pauses the game.

Lucas shrugs apologetically, bending forwards to check his phone.

He turned every channel - related notifications off after almost going crazy one afternoon with the constant pinging, so now his phone only notifies him when a friends texts him.

If they got interrupted by Basile pestering him again about getting them into that party next Friday, Lucas is going to kill him.

He runs the pad of his index finger over the back of his phone, unlocking it. His eyebrows shoot up in confusion when an Instagram notification pops up.

Who communicates through direct messages with their friends when you can use whatsapp?

He slides down the notifications bar, frowning when he reads the username.

“Uh”

“Is it Baz?” Yann questions from the kitchen, sticking his head in the door. “If he’s asking about the party again, tell him to go buy the tickets himself.”

“Eh, not exactly?” Lucas trails off, his confused tone making it sound like a question.

Yann walks back into the room with a sandwich in his hand and a bottle of water. Despite his confusion, Lucas gives him an unimpressed look.

Yann shrugs.

“Who is it, then?”

Lucas proceeds to show him the screen in silence.

@srodulv shared a picture with you

“Okay.” Yann looks at Lucas with an equally puzzled expression. “Who the hell is this ‘sroduluv’ person, or whatever?”

“I… don't know.”

“But you're following them.” Yann states.

“Yes.”

“And they sent you a picture.”

“Apparently?” Lucas asks in a high pitched voice, throwing his hands up in the air. “Shit, I don't know!”

That's all it takes for Yann to burst out laughing, falling on the couch and rolling over himself as he tries to control his chuckles.

“What's so funny?” Lucas whines.

“Bet you 10 bucks it’s another dick pic.” Yann laughs, looking at Lucas pointedly.

Lucas blushes profusely at the reminder, tucking his chin on his neck. It’s been known to happen, alright. He can't help that he looks like a twink most of the time - Yann says it's the hair. Arthur argues that it's his mouth.

Anyway.

“That happened once.”   Lucas retorts. “Maybe twice.”

Yann looks at him with a face that has whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy written all over it. So maybe it's happened more times than he’d care to admit.

“So? Open it!” Yann urges Lucas, nudging him when the latter just stays still.

Lucas braces himself and taps on the notification.

He opens the picture.

“Wait,” He blurts out. “What?”

“Is it a dick pic?” Yann asks curiously. When Lucas only blinks, he gasps. “Is it worse?”

Lucas blinks again, half expecting to see the picture before his eyes turn into an actual dick pic. When he opens his eyes again, the picture is still there, looking exactly like it did seconds ago.

He passes the phone wordlessly to Yann.

“What the- is that a fucking dog lying on an inflatable popsicle pool toy?” Yann laughs incredulously. “Holy shit. That’s what I call a plot twist.”

“Who the hell is this person and why are they sending me dog pics? What is going on?”

“I have absolutely no idea,” Yann says distractedly, still looking at the screen in wonder. “but you have to marry them.”

“What the fuck, Yann?”

“They sent you a picture of a bulldog laying around a pool, Lucas. That's the epitome of true romance.”

“We don't know who it is. We don't even know if it’s a dude.” Lucas hisses. “For all we know, they could be a serial killer trying to lure handsome young men with pictures of insanely cute puppies.”

“It is a cute puppy.” Yann concedes. “But you can, and call me crazy here, maybe look at their profile? Just a suggestion, though.”

Lucas withdraws his phone from between Yann’s hands immediately, tapping on this mysterious person’s profile with no hesitation.

And, holy shit. He definitely remembers now, alright.

It’s the guy . The one with the soft hair and sparkling eyes.

His eyes land on a recent picture - it’s in black and white. He’s supporting his head with his hand as he looks at the lenses with captivating eyes. He has a bit of stubble, and the black sweater he’s wearing makes him look so cozy, and Lucas wants to die.

“I definitely need to marry him.” Lucas murmurs dazzled, his heart going fast against his ribcage, as he scrolls through the guy’s posts. His lips actually tingle with how bad he wants to brush his mouth against those cheekbones.

Lucas hadn't even noticed he had followed him back.

His eyes find his bio again, and he's surprised it's still the same one from a year ago. Model. Then, another detail catches his eye, and his breath hitches. Eliott.

Eliott.

That’s his name. It fits him perfectly, Lucas thinks.

“I’m guessing he’s hot, then?” Yann snorts from the other side of the couch. Lucas had kind of forgotten he was still there, to be honest.

He looks up from his phone.

“He’s gorgeous.”

Yann smirks with knowing eyes.

“Are you going to answer him?” He asks innocently. As if he doesn't know already, the bastard.

Lucas doesn't dignify him with an answer. Instead, he looks back at his phone, fingers looming over the keyboard as he thinks of a good answer.

In the end, he settles with a simple text.

@lucallemant

hi? haha

He waits for a beat, then two, and tries not to feel disappointed when he doesn't get a text back.

He’s probably busy, he tells himself, or maybe he's sleeping? Lucas doesn't even know where he's from. He might be living in fucking California, for all he knows - although he really hopes that's not the case.

Noting his distress, Yann takes the phone from his grip and turns the volume off, tossing it to the other couch. He puts the controller in Lucas’ hands and squeezes his shoulder.

“C’mon. It's best friend quality time.” Yann gives him a gentle smile. “I demand attention now.”

Lucas bursts into a laugh - just like that, he forgets all about his phone and possible unanswered texts.

***

The hours fly by, and before he knows it, Lucas is saying goodbye to a freshly - beaten, grumpy Yann.

“I totally kicked your ass.” Lucas brags as they walk to the door.

“I totally let you win.” Yann fires back.

“You wish.” Lucas laughs before pulling Yann into a half-hug, patting him on the back. “See you tomorrow, dude.”

“Tomorrow.” Yann salutes and flashes him a smile, closing the door.

Lucas shakes his head, still smiling, and makes his way to the couch. His bed for the last few months, actually. It's a long story.

He sprawls himself on the sofa with his hands under his head, sighing. He should go shower.

He smells himself discreetly, pleased when he doesn't get the need to fill his nostrils with soap. He’ll shower tomorrow, then.

He’s starting to relax when his eyes land on his phone, still discarded on the other couch, and he swears. He'd completely forgotten about it.

With his heart in his throat, he pushes himself forward as he reaches for the phone.

It’s just a guy. I didn't even really know of his existence before today. He tells himself like a mantra. So what if he doesn't answer back? There's plenty more guys out there. Although maybe not as beautiful, or mesmerizing, or - okay, not helping.

He breaths through his nose before unlocking his phone.

A little sound leaves his mouth.

@srodulv

Hello :)

Okay. So they're really doing this, then. Cool. Totally cool. He's so not freaking out right now.

He types out an answer.

@lucallemantj

what's up with the dog pic?

He locks the phone again, holding it against his chest as he wills his heart to calm down. This time, he doesn't have to wait a second before his phone pings again.

@srodulv

With all the messages you must get, I though I should try to make an impression haha

Did it work?

So the guy isn't afraid to double text, then? Interesting.

@lucallemant

it definitely left an impression alright

@srodulv

A good one, I hope?

Lucas grins. He turns off the lights and gets himself comfortable on the couch, getting rid of the t-shirt he’s wearing.

It’s July, and he’s in the heart of Paris. Also, despite the good views this apartment might have, the air system would do with some fixing.

@lucallemant

sure :)

@srodulv

I’m Eliott

@lucallemant

i know

@srodulv

?

@lucallemant

it says on your profile

@srodulv

That makes sense haha

Lucas flushes. He can't believe he went with the ‘I know’ trope. He groans internally.

Did he fuck up?

@lucallemant

i’m lucas

When Eliott doesn't answer back, Lucas feels his heart fall to the floor. He definitely fucked up.

Fuck. This is why he never gets a date. He's so fucking awkward, God-

@srodulv

I know ;)

Lucas sighs with relief. He didn't fuck up yet, then.

He even sent him a winky face. That's good, right?

@lucallemant

i liked it, btw. the picture

@srodulv

I knew you would

Lucas bites his bottom lip, grinning from ear to ear.

@lucallemant

you did? what else do you know, then?

@srodulv

Hmmm…

Lucas grins even harder. This sounds so much like flirting. Are they flirting? Lucas is trying to, at least.

@srodulv

I know that you are very nice. You like singing, too. And you like guys who send you ridiculous pictures with dogs and pool toys, now.

@lucallemant

a bit pretentious with the last one

@srodulv

Am I wrong?

Lucas blushes. Not at all. He's not going to tell him that yet, though.

@lucallemant

wait you've seen my videos?

@srodulv

A couple of them

If Eliott notices the change of subject, he doesn't comment on it. Lucas is thankful.

@lucallemant

and what did you think?

@srodulv

Oh they're awful

Just kidding. I think you have an amazing voice, actually

@lucallemant

omg thank u

Should he do it?

Fuck it, he's going to do it.

@lucallemant

i’m kinda blushing over here haha

Double texting his crush. Yann would be proud.

@srodulv

Aww shame I can't see it. Where’s over here?

@lucallemant

Paris (:

@srodulv

Cool! I live there, too

Lucas tries not to freak out at the newfound information. He’s not doing a very good job, but he's certainly trying.

His fingers hoover over the keyboard, deciding whether he should type the text or not.

What he wants to say is, maybe we could go out for a drink, then?

What he types in instead, is

@lucallemant

weird we haven't bumped into each other yet lol

@srodulv

Well I’m not in Paris right now, actually

@lucallemant

where are you then??

@srodulv

London, for a job :) I’m staying here for a couple more weeks

What are you studying?

@lucallemant

that must be so cool!! i’ve never been to london, but i want to go so badly

and i’m studying biophysics. sounds boring, i know. and it takes so much time off my daily life i barely have time to post covers. thank god it's summer now

@srodulv

I would love to take you there sometime, then. If you want to

I want to. He wants to scream at his phone. I really fucking want to.

He resists the need to chuck his phone out the window in pure ecstatic.

@srodulv

And that sounds so interesting! Maybe one day you can give me one or two classes on the topic? Damn, you really have everything

@lucallemant

everything? i don't think so lol

@srodulv

You are super cute and nice. You have a killer voice. And now you are really fucking clever, too? That, sir, is having everything as far as I'm concerned

@lucallemant

i’m certainly not cute enough to be a model. Unlike *others*

and who are u calling sir omg I’m 19, not 90

@srodulv

You're a baby :o you would make the cutest baby model

@lucallemant

how old are u??

@srodulv

21

@lucallemant

what the fuck are you calling me baby for omg you’re literally two years older

@srodulv

Nope, sorry. You’re a baby

A BABY, Lucas

Lucas feels like his heart is going to burst. He doesn’t think he’s smiled for so long in years – maybe ever.

Eliott is doing things to his head. It’s not just that he is, admittedly, really attractive – Lucas won’t lie, it doesn’t hurt -, he’s also charming as hell. He’s making Lucas feel so special right now, and Lucas loves it.

He glances at the clock on his phone from the corner of his eye, mouth hanging open when his brain registers the time.

It's 3 a.m.

Have they really been talking for the past 2 hours?

@lucallemant

it’s 3 a.m. already, what?? how did this happen?

i should go to bed :/

@srodulv

You’re leaving me already? :(

@lucallemant

nooo i will be back, promise

i just have to get up really early tomorrow morning

@srodulv

Promise?

Lucas smiles. He’s so cute.

@lucallemant

i promise

@srodulv

Okay, then :)

Sleep well, Lucas ♡

@lucallemant

goodnight eliott

He debates with himself for a momet before making up his mind. Eliott did it first anyway, technically.

@lucallemant

♡

He locks his phone and leaves it on the table. Rolling himself over, he exhales, hiding his grin against the makeshift pillow.

Sleep comes to him fast, glimpses of smokey grey eyes and bright smiles painting his dreams with vivid colors.

When he wakes up, the sun coming through the big windows shines on his skin comfortably. He feels warm all over with the memories of last night, his dreams still present in his mind.

And when he sees Eliott’s new post, the caption //way down we go// glaring at him through the screen, he convinces himself it’s just a coincidence - despite having posted a cover of the same song less than 24 hours ago, and Eliott admitted he’d seen some of his videos. It’s a coincidence .

Nonetheless, when his friends ask if he forgot grumpy Lucas at home for the 4th time that morning, he just flips them off with a soaring heart.

He's still smiling.

[quilloftheclouds]

WIP Questions Tag Game

Because I have to start this blog off somehow! Say hello to some random facts about One Siren’s Soul.

... what, what do you mean I could post some actual writing? Pfft, no.

I actually got this game from @thelysstener​‘s blog and thought it was pretty cool! I wasn’t tagged or anything but I really like doing tag games. Hope you don’t mind!

1: Describe the plot in one sentence

Magical things get stolen from magical people, forcing a siren, a sea witch, a pirate, and a legend of the Royal Navy to begrudgingly work together to get them back. (Aka: A study in how Quill doesn’t know how to write story pitches yet) 2: Pick one sight, smell, sound, feel, and taste to describe the aesthetic for your WIP. (I definitely did not follow the “one” thing but too bad)

Sight: The soft, welcome blues of the sky peeking through clouds of a dispersing storm, the ocean below calm despite its froth of foam drifting across rippled dark water.

Smell: Salt and drying seaweed and rotting fish. And then a permeating, engulfing scent from the ocean that you can’t place or describe, like the very depths of its soul. Magic.

Sound: The howl of wind through a cave opening, a background of distant waves crashing amidst sea bird’s cries.

Feel: The crackling of static electricity through your fingertips as you smooth down the folds of your clothing on a stormy day.

Taste: The slight tang of something metallic. Is that blood, or sweat, or metal? Or all three? (Or the tears of my future readers?)

3: Which 3+ songs would make a playlist for your novel?

I’m normally better at making playlists for things but in this case I was really picky, so...

Your Bones by Of Monsters And Men (Probably one of the biggest inspirations for the overall aesthetic and just... feeling of my wip.)

Sirens by Fleurie (The name and lyrics of this song fit in both definitions of the word.)

Coastline by Hollow Coves (There’s... a happy song on this list? What?)

4: What’s the time period and location in which your novel takes place? 

Early 18th century on an alternate Earth in the North Atlantic.

5: Are there any former titles you’ve considered but discarded? 

So uh. Funny story about that. One Siren’s Soul was originally going to start with ‘A’ instead of ‘One’. I realized pretty quickly why that wasn’t such a good idea, and also I just like how it sounds more, now? 6: What’s the first line of your novel? 

Mmmmm this is a first draft, mate, I don’t wanna touch that just yet. 7: What’s a line of dialogue you’re particularly proud of?

Oh, jeez. All of the ones I really like are heavily context dependent or ridden with spoilers. In lieu of those, have a somewhat-kinda-funny one:

“Colin! Nice to see yer up. Or, well. Down.” - George, right after Colin falls flat on his face in front of him.

8: Which line from the novel most represents it as a whole? 

~Spoilers are fuunnnn~ 9: Who are your character(s) face claims? 

I’m definitely not the most set on these (especially for Io and Dione), but:

Celestine - Amandla Stenberg

Colin - Booboo Stewart

Phoenix - Enam Heikeens Honya

Dione - Maggie Duran

George - Johnny Harrington

Isabel - Camila Cabello

Io - Kirby Griffin

Rose - Nivetha Pethuraj

I have no idea for Io or Sheila or Alixandre yet, oops.

10: Sort your characters into Hogwarts houses.

For some reason these sorts of things are always tough for me? I myself don’t fit in only one so I think that’s worn off on my characters. Here’s some approximates, though:

Gryffindor: Phoenix, Isabel, Colin

Ravenclaw: Dione, Alixandre

Hufflepuff: George, Sheila

Slytherin: Rose

I can’t decide whether Celestine is in Ravenclaw or Slytherin, and Io’s stuck somewhere between Gryffindor and Slytherin.

11: Which character’s name do you like the most?

Chichima is probably my favourite. Who’s that, you ask? Nyehehee.

Including full names it’d probably be Phoenix Solarin because if that isn’t the most over the top thing to name a pyro I don’t know what is.

12: Describe each character’s daily outfit:

I’m just... gonna do my PoV characters, since I have too many characters in general, and fashion (especially historical) is not my strong suit.

Celestine: Maroon, long-sleeved dress; long, cream woolen scarf; and a pair of dark brown, lace up leather boots.

Colin: Simple white tunic; red and multi-coloured knit sash around his waist; brown trousers; and black cavalier boots (but to be honest he goes barefoot way too often).

Phoenix: Simple white blouse; bright red sash around her waist and as a headband; dark trousers; and buckled black leather boots. She gets a scarlet frock coat with gold trim later on.

Dione: Honestly, I have no idea how to describe Dio’s clothes. Other than black felt boots and a light green dress-like thing, I know she has a billion hidden pockets and a giant, hooded, fur and wool cloak that covers over all of the rest of her clothes so you can’t even see them. I dunno.

13: Do any characters have any distinctive birthmarks/scars?

Phoenix has a tattoo of crossed cannons somewhere (and also her, you know, vitiligo), George probably has a couple sailor’s tattoos as well, Isabel only has one arm, Celestine is missing her whole left eye, and Io has very distinctive scarring that she hides and is totally not going to become plot important at all.

14: Which character most fits a character trope?

Maybe Sheila? She’s the sweet and kind old lady shopkeeper who has all the best juicy gossip for our main cast to conveniently learn of.

15: Which character is the best writer? Worst?

Dione. Just. No competition. She writes poetry in her free time. She keeps a diar—I-I mean journal. Also she has actual training in writing but you’re not supposed to know that so shhh. Worst is probably Colin. He can barely read due to his dyslexia and as a regular deckhand he never really had the need to learn anyways.

16: Which character is the best liar? Worst?

You’d think it’d be actual thief and criminal Celestine but no, it’s Phoenix. Also another character I can’t mention because spoilers. Worst would be Colin. That comes up a lot. Sorry, Colin.

17: Which character swears the most? Least?

Rose. Swears. A LOT. Celestine does in Spanish. Least would probably be Alixandre because he’s just... too sweet. Too innocent of a boi.

18: Which character has the best writing? Worst?

Dione also has the best handwriting, since spoiler reasons but also she’s just like that. Colin’s handwriting isn’t the best, but it’s actually Io’s absolute chicken scratch that takes the cake for the worst. You wonder how people can even read her ship logs.

19: Which character is the most like you? Least like you?

Fun fact: Colin was originally based on another character of mine that was originally based on a sona form of me. So. His clumsiness is a new development, I don’t have that, and I’m apparently really good at lying, so there’re some differences. (Also I’m a writer and he can barely read. Oops.) But that obliviousness? That absolute clueless, distractibility? That inability to sit still? Those terrible puns and attempts at being socially adept? That’s me.

20: Which character would you most like to be?

I think Phoenix? You’ll find out why that is in the book, ‘cause her true personality isn’t quite the one people think of her as having, but... yeah. Phoenix is fun.

I’m gonna ignore the rules like a rebel and not tag anyone, so I’ll just tag everyone who wants to do this, instead!

Want to learn more about One Siren’s Soul? You can find the page here. I’m going to be starting a taglist soon, too, so let me know if you’d like to be added!

[streamofconsciousnesshorror-blog]

Bird Box - Steam of Consciousness

Bird Box

I am about to sit and watch this movie. I’ve heard a lot about it and it seems to be the thing to see at the moment. Not sure what I’m going to make of it…

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS (obv)

Oh, Sandra Bullock

She seems nice… not!

“Boy and Girl”??

Aww, they’re cuties.

Oh no, not birds! I don’t want to see animals getting hurt.

So, what if they peek underneath the blindfold? That’s not taking them off…

They can see through them slightly it appears.

Have those kids really got all their belongings in those teeny tiny backpacks?

Oh, where do I know her from? The woman who just came in…

An “Arabian Stud”???

Okay, so Sandra’s character has… issues!

Getting over a break up?

And she’s preggers?

Oh I see, very preggers. lol

Sandra’s had work done, botox!

Euw, see that’s why I never wanted pregnancy — the throwing up!!

OMG, is she doing that to protest the orange velour tracksuit??

Okay, they’re all committing suicide. Here we go.

Damn, Sandra’s face is messed up!! She can’t move it anymore! She’s got no facial expressions!

DAMN, I doubt the unborn baby will survive that crash!

WOAH — actually saw her body getting splattered on that lorry!

This is disturbing.

They see loved ones before they kill themselves it seems.

Impressed so far, it’s really well done. I’m totally using my touch typing skills here, so I don’t have to look away!

You’ve got every stereotype here; murderous, gumpy old man, meathead white dude, hippy white chick, rich old white woman, token black guy, token hispanic looking girl, token Asian guy, got it all covered!

Oh there’s two black guys. lol

Supermarket Charlie. lol

Sandra not looking too good with that pregnancy.

Wondering where these two little kids come into it…

Ffs angry old man, it wasn’t her fault someone went out to try and help her.

Sandra in bed with full make-up on! As you do.

Oh great, is this one of those jumping backwards and forwards in time movies? Hate that.

Okay, her hair’s WAY longer here.

Oh those sweet little birds. Please don’t let them die!!

Oh of course, BIRD BOX!! Duh. I’m slow.

Okay I recognise the angry old man. I just can’t place him. IMDB time!

Nope, I know the name John Malcovic, but I can’t work out what I’ve seen him in.

Oh. Is this one pregnant or just fat?

Oh, pregnant. A friend for Sandra.

She was starving? Really?? K.

Why don’t I know anyone’s names yet?

What the hell are they doing now? Their plan went way over my head. lol

Asian guy is smiley, huh?

What’s Sandra got on her feet??

Just busting some stretches with my ass in the air, seems as good a time as any.

I thought pregnancy made your hair shiny and healthy! Not in this woman’s case.

Oh SHIT, it can be transmitted through a SCREEN!!

Oh dear, Asian guy’s a gonna!

But he didn’t see a relative beforehand, he just saw a black shadow.

“Thought it might be good for us to be close”… no luv, bugger off! lol

Shut UP! This big woman doesn’t stop talking.

WOW, that is some kitchen! #kitchenenvy

Ooookay then! Sex! lol

Sandra and this black guy are hitting it off!

I’m only calling him “black guy” because I literally don’t know any of their names!! Not sure if we’re supposed to or not, but…

Oh, back to the future again.

The length of her hair is making it look like this is YEARS in the future!

Who’s this tubby ginger git!?

Get him girl!!!

What was that about then? He wasn’t trying to kill himself, he was trying to get her blindfold off.

Back to the past — where are these two kids??

“why don’t i go on the first run, and you go on the second run”, she really doesn’t want that chatty pregnant woman around her. lol

Okay, but driving with blacked out windows just using a GPS is committing suicide anyway… may as well just walk out there as you are!

GPS picks up dead bodies apparently! lol

“Its just a speed bump”. Nah, it’s not mate!

All it needs is that thing to smash their windows!

GPS also picks up supernatural beings. Where did they get it from?

THEY ARE NOT SPEED BUMPS!

Okay, they’re there. So now what?

They DO look funny, gotta be honest!

“Jack-fucking-pot” lol

I would grab ALLLL the chocolate!

Hot black dude wants to bang Sandra.

Sandra is trying to smile at you, my dude, she just can’t move her botoxed face very much! Just FYI.

Aww, the birdies.

So get them some damn food and water then. Ugh!

Angry old man is gonna croak it first.

Someone’s knocking — is this the kids? But going by Sandra’s hair they can’t even have been born yet! Or barely.

Nope, it’s some guy.

He’s coming in no matter what.

Oh no, Supermarket Charlie just sacrificed himself!

Well they got back relatively easily.

Sandra’s REALLY got daddy issues!

“The hair is different… he had some” Ooh savage!

Okay, what are the two hippies doing? Ah we have names, Lucy and Felix. Shame they’re just about to die!

Oops, back to the future!

Here are these two cute kids who came from nowhere. They don’t look like twins, so they can’t be both hers or both the big woman’s!

Oh, one of the teeny tiny backpacks is gone!

Just keep worrying about the birds.

Oh it’s windchimes, I thought… never mind.

Did she REALLY think that string would last forever?

Oh shit, kids, get back down!!!

PUT THE BLINDFOLD BACK ON, WOMAN!!!!

So this thing will try to get to them, even if they’re blindfolded.

Nooo, little girl. You’re too adorable to get killed.

Blimey, she’s really rough with those kids. She’s like a drill sergeant!

“Its the end of the world”, may as well stop all the small talk and get on each other then!

Just sayin…

Erm, does he want to feel your baby bump luv? I think he’s more interested in just above or evenjust below that.

Back to the future!

Sandra with the Long Hair.

And back to short hair Sandra again.

Why are they so scared of a new guy coming in, this thing makes people commit suicide, not attack others?

This guy’s British! He must be protected.

British accent with an American twang. lol

Oh okay, so there’s another stage to it, where they’re happy and want everyone to see.

Angry old man has lost it!

OMG, THE OLD WOMAN HAD HER MOMENT!!! lmao

This big woman is SO fucking annoying

Her parents and her husband bought her all the FOOD.

“If something happens to me, I want you to take care of my baby”… perhaps one of the two kids is hers then. Must be both their kids.

Oh, the girl is hers then. The boy is Sandra’s I guess. But why call them Girl and Boy at the beginning?

She’s not very maternal is she? She talks to these kids like they’re annoying adults. lol

Hmm, so who looks? Your kid, or her kid?

What is this shite music?

Big Woman’s about to drop!

Sandra won’t be far behind by the looks of it.

Why does the British guy keep eyeing those sweet birds?

Yep, her waters have broken.

May have to look away if we’re seeing a birth.

WTF? Two screaming women giving birth at the same time?

Yeah, drown them out with music! lol

This British guy is fucking weird. And he can leave those birds alone.

Nice drawings… yeah he’s fucking crazy.

Boy is now born.

WHAT IS BRITISH GUY DOING WITH THOSE BIRDS??

NO, FUCK YOU! PUT THOSE BIRDS DOWN!!!!

OMG!!! He’s pulling the papers off the windows. He’s put the birds in the freezer.

GET THEM TF OUT!

Aww, well done black dude! Sorry he knocked you out.

OH SHIT — HE WANTS THEM ALL TO SEE!

Girl is now born.

Don’t let him near the baby!

“Can I see?” No, fuck off.

Oh no, Big Woman looked. Ugh.

You BASTARD, you made the old lady look!

Well this is a lovely start to life for those newborns. Welcome to the world, little ones.

Angry old man is going to save the day. Come on man, he’s getting closer, shoot him!!!

“Oi!” lol

There ya go, Angry Old Man is dead.

So the “infected” do kill others. At first all they did was commit suicide.

Who just shot who??

Oh phew! British guy is dead.

And now I know where the two kids come from…

Back to the future. And we now know it’s five years ahead.

So both these kids are the same age, but the girl looks younger.

Sandra looks better with long hair.

Oh, did she get it on with the black guy? Why don’t I know his name yet?

More sex! Bet the kids wake up.

Oh no… but we didn’t see anything. Damnit. lol

Damn that guy has an impressive upper body!

So wait, she’s going on the river on the word of some random man on a walkie talkie who said he has a “community”??

And why isn’t he with her? Does he die?

That little girl is sooo sweet. And I don’t even like kids usually.

I still don’t get why Sandra calls these kids “boy” and “girl”! 

Oh chill out Sandra - allow your man to let the kids dream.

EXACTLY, give the poor kids NAMES!!

I don’t like Sandra.

Sandra looks blotchy. 

I might start calling her “Woman”!

Yeah, Boy, Girl and Woman.

Wait are we back in the future again? So they did all go together?

Mmmm, Pop Tarts.

UNCOOKED Pop Tarts??

Oh shit, someone’s turned up.

Ah okay, they split up. I think the black guy’s about to get killed.

SHIT, this guy is a good aim with a blindfold on!

Ah no... he took it off. That’s it.

Aww, the sacrificed himself. 

That’s it for him then... 

WTF, HE SHOT HIMSELF!!!! NOOOOO.

Boy, Girl and Woman are really alone now.

Nice over-acting there Woman.

Very well done considering you can’t move your face.

She’s really shitty to those kids. I don’t like kids and I’d be nicer than that to them, besides they’re cute af.

Right we’re all up to date now with them on the river.

Boy, Girl and the birds to survive. Don’t care about Woman.

That’s a nice fashion statement - cut a hole in your cuff and stick your thumb through it. 

Bitch should be the one to take her blindfold off - THEY ARE LITTLE CHILDREN!!

And they’re out of the boat...

“GIRL, GIRL, GIRL” Ffs, names for them! It’s not that hard.

Aww, just want to take that little dumpling home with me - Girl that is.

Ooh, the entity is trying to get her to take the blindfold off.

Natalie... Emily... Madeline? Still can’t get her name.

Valerie?

Oh well, she’s still Woman to me.

NO, don’t do it Boy!

NO GIRL!!!

“My children”?? Is Sandra having a change of heart?

Girl is scared of Sandra - I don’t blame you sweet thing.

Awww, there she is. I may be tearing up a little...

Someone’s cutting onions in here, that’s all.

Why the hell can’t I make out Woman’s name.

Okay, it’s definitely Valerie.

So what they see is probably dead loved ones, like that woman at the beginning saw her late mother.

You’d think a powerful entity would’ve worked out how to remove blindfolds off potential victims, wouldn’t you.

For God’s sake, stop tripping up, Valerie.

“Just take the children”... follows them straight in!

Why the weird shots, why aren’t we seeing Rick?

Is it Rick Grimes? That’d be weird, huh? lol

OH, THEY’RE BLIND!!!

They’d be the only ones left I guess. And those who didn’t remove their blindfolds.

They’re letting the birds free. Bless.

They survived!!!

Someone’s cutting those onions again...

Boy has the most gorgeous eyes!

Oh bless, Olivia and Tom. 

This is all bit too perfect - when does it go wrong?

No horror movie can end like this...

Tell me there’s more after the credits!!!

Oh my God, what an anticlimax. That was the shittiest ending ever!

Overall I’d give this movie a 6/10. I wasn’t bored stiff, but I was waiting for more to happen and it never did. The end was ridiculously stupid and I now know what people meant when they complained about it. What do you think. Please weigh in with your comments.

[marxiehodgeheg]

Death Note (2017)

okay, so I just watched the Death Note movie and damn that shit was

WILD

so im just going to compile some small notes about how bad and how much they fucked Death Note like fuck man

Please Note: there are going to be elements of spoilers in this list so if you are planning on watching Death Note (2017) be aware (but in all honesty please dont watch it just watch the 2006 Anime Adaptation I beg you, I am doing you a solid)

lets begin

ok so first off, this shit is americanised so of course there is a buttload of whitewashing because if you didnt know Death Note is Japanese and set in Japan and the characters are Japanese - please. 

Light Yagami is a good boy™ so like how dare you make this shitty bad boy - hes doing other peoples homework please no

the Death Note lands right next to him - um no the Death Note lands 10 feet away from Yagami and outside his classroom stop this

also it starts raining right after he picks up the Death Note - spoooky

white!light finds some bullys who are obviously over school age and so he pulls the child abuse card on them if they were to hit him - he gets decked anyway. 

he gets caught with the homework and put into detention and oh no the light went out - creepy factor™ to the max - so spooked 

oh yeah, did i mention that this film is rated an 18 

so of course theres been swearing and cursing from everyone, even Light - sorry not my Light 

best part of the film was white!light shitting himself when he see Ryuk like yes 10/10 A++ content would watch that scene again

white!light also slaps himself and i wanted him to do it more 

theres more swearing, i mean i had to settle in for a wild ride with fucks and shits throughout this whole film, but like the anime was only a 15 

also Willem Dafoe as Ryuks voice was pretty cool, had a nice ring to it but anyway 

he goes to kill older bully because Ryuk says he wants to (obviously hes hesitant) but cant 

legit words from the film “i dont have a pen” Ryuk pulls out a pen “well its good you have one” im yeLLING

he writes older bully guys name down but oh no, Ryuk tells him to write down how so guess what 

HE CHOOSES DECAPITATION IM SERIOUS YALL THIS IS HIS FIRST KILL NO HESITATION JUST WRITES DOWN DECAPITATION LIKE WHO FUCKEN WROTE THIS 

FUCKEN GORE TO THE MAX YOU SEE THIS GUYS HEAD BE FUCKEN RIPPED FROM HIS BODY BY A TRAGIC ACCIDENT LIKE FUCK 

by this point i was already like #NotMyDeathNote i mean 

dad is introduced, but where is mother and sister - ill tell you where - non existant (mum is dead and there was never any sister) 

MORE SWEARING >:(

theres still apples tho and Ryuk still loves them 

white!light reads the Death Note rules (well he actually skims them but okay) 

comes across some scribble and sees a not “dont trust Ryuk”

HE PRONOUNCES IT RYE-UK NO LIE IM LIKE HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU NO ITS RYUK PRONOUNCED REE-UK FUCK YOU

its okay tho because Ryuk comes out and shuts him down with the correct pronunciation like yas bitch you tell him 

ALSO LET ME LOOK AT MY MAIN MAN STOP PUTTING HIM IN THE DARKNESS LET ME SEE HIS FACE NOT JUST HIS EYES 

Ryuk suggests shark attacks on the toilet as a not possible example of death - Ryuk i thought you were better than this 

angry scribbling of names - damn white!light is mad 

AND ANOTHER THING WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE HEART ATTACKS LIKE HE JUST KEPT SPECIFYING THE DEATHS - NO THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS YOU DONT NEED TO JUST KEEP WRITING THESE SHITTY DEATHS

you get one look at Ryuk and damn, my man you ugly im sorry they did you like that

okay back at school, watching the team practice and guess what 

HES GOT THE DEATH NOTE AND HES READING IT IN THE OPEN IN PUBLIC - BITCH PUT IT THE FUCK AWAY

OH BUT WAIT A GIRL SEES HIM - SHE NOTICES IT AND IS LIKE “oo Death Note whats that” AND HES LIKE “nah its nothing™” 

BUT IT GETS BETTER 

HE TELLS HER ABOUT IT AND LETS HER READ IT AND SHOWS HER HOW IT WORKS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON - MY LIGHT WOULD NEVER DO THIS 

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THIS CHICK IS BUT APPARENTLY HE DOES AND SHE KNOWS HIM SO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO WRONG - WHO IS SHE?!?!?!

so new girl who im sure is supposed to be Misa Misa says to white!light “lets change the world together” and so these words obviously go straight to white!lights dick because theres sexual tension in the air

“can i kiss you?” “youre not suppose to ask” 

she just fucken pins him to the wall shes making him her bitch and theyre kissing ugh my eyes hurt 

cut back to school and they in class and they looking at each other like they fucked 

then theres more kissing like fucking straight white movie romances am i right 

theyre finding a name for the God who will rule the new world

of course its Kira like what else is it going to be

“Kira means light in celtic” and then quickly “also its similar to the word killer in Japanese” like damn bitch i wonder why you quickly said that - oh yeah because Death Note is actUALLY JAPANESE 

im so fucjing done with this film 

but now the death victims are leaving perfectly written Japanese messages on the walls like this doesnt mAKE UP FOR YOUR SHITTY WHITEWASHING

news time: white boy feels special for getting lots of praise and attention for killing bad guys 

were suddenly in Japan in a night/strip club 

hooded guy is introduced - hes speaks Japanese - finally we are saved by the Japanese guy who I assume is L

nope L is not Japanese just speaks it just like in the anime 

white!light is suddenly angry as detective dad for getting on the Kira case like damn what is your damage 

Watari is here but he is not cute and kind looking like in the anime, i am disappointed 

white!lights dad talks to L on the laptop - but wheres the garbled voice???????

L is introdu--

L IS BLACK, I REPEAT L IS BLACK - ARREST THAT WHITE BOY BECOME POWERFUL WE ARE SAVED 

“rest your glutes” - true words from L. a real line in a real fim 

movie!L is just as good and cute as anime!L 

nope wait, he actually appears in public himself instead of a decoy - im sorry but i cant have this - not my L

he might have had his face covered and hooded but still - not my L 

WHITE!LIGHT IS RUDE - HE TALKS TO RYUK LIKE SHIT - TELLS HIM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP HOW DARE YOU I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM FOR THAT ALONE

finally found out Misa Misa replacements name 

its Mia

some cops walked off a building 

i kind of stopped taking as many notes by this point i was just not paying attention 

“if you fuck this were not the good guys anymore” - what part of killing people, be they bad or not, makes you the good guys? NONE

L and Light meeting in a cafe 

L becomes a cat and pushes shit off the table 

“youre the one who flew into the sun, im just the one to make sure you actually burn” - yooOOOOOOO L rekt u 

white!lights dad dares to be killed - Mia thinks about doing it but white!light stops her - she gets dumped 

she begs for him back 

she pulls out the i love you card 

it works because of course it would and theyre kissing again - like fuck no bitch you tried to kill my dad get the fuck out

Watari is targeted, his name is written in the book - LEAVE HIM ALONE

apparently people can be spared by burning the page with their name on it, what kind of bullshit

L is angry, he is so smad 

L GETS PINNED AGGRESSIVELY TO A TABLE UNHAND HIM YOU HEATHENS 

but another fault that L doesnt really get mad, hes actually a cool cucumber im sorry not my L

homecoming dance - really 

Mia gives white!light his outfit for it and also a hat with a note saying “i have it” 

have what idk

Ls old kids home is creepy™

white!light is wEARING A TOPHAT TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE WHA THE FUCK 

it was a decoy trick wow

oh no Wataris page is missing it cant be burned now, WATARI IS GOING TO DIE 

Watari dies before he can give white!light Ls real name HA

Take my Breath Away by Berlin plays at the dance - beautiful 

oh damn Mia actally outsmarts and FCUKS white!light - she wrote his name in the Death Note 

nope wait shes going to burn the page to bring him back fucking

she still fucked him over tho

L is still smad, but now hes got a gun and hes stolen a cop car 

theres a mangled L theme going on i swear

smashes through a “drive slow, drive safe” sign - good one L 

L finds white!light and chases him on foot

L IS RUNNING I REPEAT L IS RUNNING 

PARKOUR 

L IS DOWN AND OUT COLD IM 

now white!light has the gun

news flash: white boy is having regrets but white girl is living it 

its sad™

OH DAMN HE FUCKED HER OVER BACK IM YELLING

theyre on a ferris wheel and then it collapses spontaneously 

oh no white boy is having major regret about everything what a shame 

bye Mia, bye white!light 

oop Mia is dead 

L is okay 

white!light is in the water 

some random sees the washed up Death Note and picks it up 

white!light is in hospital - the random returns the Death Note to him

 memories of dead girlfriend™

father just now realised that his son is Kira

WHITE BOY SET THE WHOLE FUCKING THING UP - HE TELLS HIS DAD EVERYTHING LIKE FUCK HE MIGHT BE WHITE BUT HE FUCKING SMART 

L is still smad but now he had good hard evidence and proof of Kira

Ryuk is laughing and says that humans are interesting 

and then get this 

IT FUCING ENDS 

WHITE!LIGHT LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES AND LIKE IM JUST LIKE THIS IS NOT RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK NO PUT IT RIGHT FUCKING KILL HIM YOU COWARDS AND LET L LIVE 

but its okay because there are “funny bloopers” in the end credits 

more mangled L theme

im now watching the original 2006 anime and all is well 

Death Note 2017 whats that? 

[evenstevensranked]

#19: Season 3, Episode 15 - “The Big Splash”

Louis surprises everyone by joining the diving team, but then surprises no one by only doing cannonballs. This eventually leads to Louis reevaluating the future he envisions for himself. Should he remain a class clown forever? Or should he start taking life more seriously? Meanwhile, Ren’s on a mission to win “Best Smile” in the yearbook.

We start our episode with Tawny, Twitty and Tom (oh wow I just realized that all of Louis’ friends names start with the letter T lol) sitting in the stands at a school dive meet. Louis told them to go, yet he’s suspiciously nowhere to be found. Until a mysterious hooded guy walks out with LJH’s team, dramatically takes off the hood and… yeah. It’s Louis. Louis is apparently good at diving according to Twitty and Coach Tugnut (“Stevens, you don’t stink so bad!”) but he decides to squander his talent for laughs instead by doing cannonballs. It’s so cringy. Not only because doing cannonballs at a dive meet and soaking the entire audience & judges is beyond immature -- but, because his cannonballs are so fake lol. There’s the initial surface splash, and then an immediate second one that looks like a freaking nuclear bomb. Unless we’re all watching this from the perspective of Shallow Hal and Louis is actually 600 pounds, it makes no sense. I know it’s just for the lulz... but still. The gang gets a kick out of it.

We cut to the subplot where we see Ruby rushing around and tallying people’s votes for yearbook superlatives. Ren finds out that she’s a lock for “The Big Three” -- Most Likely to Succeed, Most Intelligent, and Best Personality. Is it just me, or is Best Personality a little debatable? (No offense, Ren.) Monique asks who’s in the lead for Best Smile and Ren gets salty when she finds out it’s some random chick Kelly Kerwin. Sooo, now Ren is determined to beat Kelly for Best Smile, as if she doesn’t currently hold the title for literally everything else. Seriously, girl. Let some other people get their time to shine. Dang. 

After school, Ren lets the cat out of the bag to Steve and Eileen about Louis joining the diving team. Steve is beyond excited and tells Louis he’ll try to make it to the next meet. Clearly, Louis does not want his family to attend and witness his latest goofball stunt. 

Next, we get a time-lapse of Ren being her own personal dentist in the bathroom before school because god forbid she doesn’t win Best Smile. It then cuts to Ren having a smile showdown at school with Kelly. This is the second time in the series where we get that annoying sepia, cowboy standoff thing. This cliché never works for me, ever. This goes on for 1 minute and 14 seconds which might seem like a short amount of time, but my god does this scene crawl by. Definitely the lowest point.

Steve decides to attend Louis’ next dive meet and brings his boss, Mr. Kupchack, along with him. Oh, boy. Tugnut compliments Kupchack’s fancy blazer and he responds “Thank you. It’s the finest Italian suede” and all Tugnut can say is “.........too bad.” HAHA. Of course, Louis gets up there and does another massive cannonball, completely soaking the audience... Including Mr. Kupchack and his fancy Italian blazer. Steve is livid and rightfully so. 

Louis’ guilt is starting to sink in... 

At home that night, Steve has a serious talk with Louis. He tells him that he was incredibly proud before the meet, (hence why he brought Kupchack along) only to be disappointed yet again. Louis tries to brush off his immature decisions by saying “I’m a kid. That’s what I do. I have fun.” But, Steve poses the question “It may be fun now… But where are you gonna be 10 years from now?” This really resonates with Louis. It cuts to a dramatic shot of him looking at a crap ton of “Class Clown” trophies later that night. Uh… When did Louis get all those trophies?! Where does he keep them? They don’t really let us see lol. It seems like they have their own private display room! Do schools even give out trophies for prestigious accomplishments such as “Seventh Grade Class Clown”? That’s the real question here. Anyway. This fades into a daydream Louis has of a 10 Year Lawrence Jr. High reunion.

As a kid, I always thought 10 years was too small of a time jump. Especially because Louis imagines Tom married with two kids and another on the way. But, 2017 marked the 10 year anniversary of my own middle school graduation. Now I'm 24 and a recent college graduate. Not to mention a lot of my friends are already getting married, having kids and starting their careers of course. So… Looking back at this as an adult, it's actually pretty accurate.

I love how since Twitty is a musician, they had to give him a ponytail down to his freaking butt.

I’d also like to point out that Tawny is a fashion designer, wearing rope lights as part of her outfit, and talks about spending time in Rome. Was Disney Channel under the assumption that clothes featuring rope lights are a high fashion ~Rome~ thing? Exhibit B:

Louis’ daydream is so depressing... but I absolutely love it. He basically imagines himself as a total screwup man-child. He can’t relate to his accomplished adult friends because he never grew out of being his middle school jokester self. It’s too real. You just cringe the entire time because everyone is trying to have a mature conversation and Louis is literally incapable of doing so. One by one, they all become annoyed by Louis’ antics and make up an excuse to leave. Twitty’s the only one left in the end and asks for Louis’ email to keep in touch. We reach the final straw when Louis says: “It’s kommanderpoopypants@laughsat.net..... With a K.” OHHHH GODDDDDD IT’S SO BAAAAADDDDD. I just wanna die of embarrassment. Twitty is fed up at this point too and peaces out. Louis snaps out of the daydream and whispers “No...” to himself -- clearly deciding against a future like that. 

The moment Twitty lost all hope. 

That whole sequence is definitely the standout moment of the episode for me. Not because of how funny it is (like you might imagine a standout Even Stevens moment to be), but because of how not funny it is. It’s something we’ve never really seen on the show before. I think taking a peek into Louis’ potential pathetic future was so great. It’s almost like they expanded on what they started in Uncle Chuck. This profound moment segues back into the pointless Best Smile drama. I think it’s kinda interesting how Louis’ plot is very existential here and Ren’s is very superficial. I wonder if that was intentional or not. 

Since Ren was so desperate to win and forced herself to smile non-stop, her facial muscles end up getting stuck in a rather disturbing grin lol oops. She’s scheduled to sing the school song at the dive meet in 5 minutes. This somehow leads to Ruby giving Ren a makeover to “distract from the mouth.” She also gives Ren the brilliant advice to cut through the steam room on her way to the pool. The end result is the long lost sister of Pennywise. Ren, The Singing Clown: 

Hiya, Georgie!! (No, but really. She looks terrifying.) 

Even though he wishes Louis would take it seriously, Steve still goes to the meet to show support. Kupchack also makes another appearance because his first-grader son (Played by Hayden Panettiere’s little brother) wants to see “The Cannonball Kid!”

Louis has built up a name for himself apparently. There’s a massive crowd there to see him! I would imagine these are the same kind of people who stand right next to the log flume ride at amusement parks just to get soaked while fully clothed for whatever unimaginable reason. 

You can see that Louis is under a lot of pressure to either give in to the weirdos in the crowd and give them the cannonball they want -- or to take the first step towards seriousness and do an actual dive. In the end, his decision to do a real dive is so admirable!!! I love it so much. But, naturally, when he emerges from the pool and declares “You know what? From this day forward... Let it be known: I am not a clown” we see that he’s standing there as naked as the day he was born. 

I was going to ask why Louis is the only team member who wears trunks instead of a speedo... but I guess this is the reason why, haha. He needed to wear something flimsy so it could fly right off of him later I guess? lol. I’d also like to point out Tawny’s freaking FACE: 

Um... okay, gurl. I always thought it was weird how she (along with, like.. 50 other people) saw her future boyfriend naked in public like that.

Anyway, Louis scurries off embarrassed and that’s it! The “final minute” bit is Ren coming home from school with a copy of the yearbook already??? She won The Big Three... and the last minute honor of “Best Class Clown.” It’s like Louis and Ren swapped stories in the end. THAT’S WHAT YOU GET, REN! That’s what you get!!! This is also the second time we see Ren wanting to achieve perfection in the yearbook and having it totally blow up in her face. 

I love this episode. It was actually the one I was most excited to rewatch while I was organizing my list. Since Louis is my favorite character, this one obviously gets a lot of “personal favorite” points for me. As I mentioned, it isn't even necessarily funny. As soon as Louis does his first cannonball, I get kinda depressed actually lol. The reason I'm ranking this one higher is because I just really love the plot-line and this more serious side of Louis which is seldom seen this prominently. In contrast to Uncle Chuck though, this episode spins the depressing factor into a positive and leaves you feeling optimistic about Louis’ future. You get the sense that he’s actually going to finally make an effort moving forward.

This episode would be even more effective if they actually aired it in production order!! “The Big Splash” is #320 in production. “Model Principal” is #319 — Ya know, the episode where Louis acts like an actual clown and singlehandedly turns the entire school into a circus??? Yeah. They decided to place that episode 3 episodes after this one. If “Model Principal” aired the episode before “The Big Splash” — LIKE IT WAS MEANT TO — it would’ve been so much better. We would’ve seen the height of Louis’ ridiculousness followed by the sobering episode where he decides to knock it off. The episodes leading up to “The Big Splash” in production order are all next-level zany Louis stuff. The few episodes that follow don’t include too much over the top stuff from him, so it would all make total sense. Instead, we get a really solid episode for Louis’ character development, later followed by a total regression of that development. Curse Disney’s f’d up schedule! WHYYYY?!?!?!

Thanks for reading!!

Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope you all had a nice holiday. I took a break for Christmas, so yeah. I was actually so mad that the Christmas/Hanukkah episode wasn’t next on the list. It would’ve been perfect timing to review it last week. Oh, well. That episode is really good and deserves even higher than #19 ;) 

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[aceofwands]

Ria hateblogs Star Trek Discovery: Episode 6 “Lethe”

This week I’m really feeling the disappointment that I’m not here, 6 weeks in to a new Star Trek series, eagerly awaiting and watching each new episode every week with my family, like I expected and hoped. I don’t even know that I should bother hateblogging the few remaining episodes of this half of the season, it’s like ... it’s just so awful and the writing is terrible and I feel nothing but apathy for the characters and the plot ... I guess I’ll see how bad this week’s episode is

Wow, I will admit, it’s real neat seeing Vulcan in 2017 graphics. I wish it was under better circumstances ...

This aide to Sarek has such a bowl cut, it’s cringe worthy :/

... what. Ignorance is never beneficial? How is it remotely helpful to a mission to not know what it is or why you’re going there?! ugh, the writing for these characters is just so ... artificial ... it’s a problem with so much modern storytelling, it’s like they’re more concerned with having characters say cool dramatic things rather than having actual conversations

The Disco shirts are sooooo dumb. Why wouldn’t they say Discovery in full?

does she have a personality Tilly? does she?

lol Enterprise mention, because we can totally believe that this grimdark holographic spinning mess of a ship exists at the same time as Pike’s Enterprise

cut to Voq, oops I mean Tyler, and Lorca on a Klingon ship apparently

what is this a video game? oh lol, it IS, it’s the HOLODECK because they have those in the 23rd century FFS

lol Voq’s worried his cover was blown when Lorca interrogated his backstory

right. the random prisoner you just found should definitely be your security chief

“someone i can trust” HA it’s SO OBVIOUS HE’S A SPY - so now Lorca just seems stupid as well as an asshole

back to Sarek and the aide ... who just injected himself with something dubious

a Vulcan fanatic who believes humans are inferior ... whoooo just blew himself up

WOW this is bad

like this is the story you needed to tell? so much possibility for a Star Trek series in 2017 with serialisation and this is the series we end up with?

Michael instructing Tilly in the ways of being healthy is just ... why? is this supposed to show that they’re friends? are people really seeing this as cute banter? I just don’t get it

are they gonna go befriend the Klingon spy?

oh good, even better, Tilly thinks he’s hot

“my mentor, Michael” cringe.

how can Michael have spent 7 years amongst humans on the Shenzhou and need Tilly’s guidance on social interaction like shaking hands?

yeeeeah Rick Berman was excited that Enterprise was a Star Trek series where people wore sneakers, having them in a show set in the 23rd century just reinforces - along with the tactical vests and t-shirts that look like they’re straight out of any modern cop show - that this isn’t even set in the future

oh good, Michael is telepathically connected to Sarek still ... wow, this whole sequence is really dumb. like, why are they bonded? how can she sense his pain? HOW CAN THEY MIND MELD ACROSS SPACE?

ethnically diverse Vulcans are the best though

raising a human as a Vulcan just seems like emotional torture tbh? like how ethically dubious?

BEING RAISED AS VULCAN DOES NOT GIVE YOU VULCAN ABILITIES

“how can he put that kind of pressure on a child” GOOD QUESTION

renegade Vulcans tried to murder you

ka’tra has healing powers?! WHAT IS THIS BS

look, okay, it’s one thing to establish new things when you’re making up a series - but this is exactly the problem with saying your series is a prequel and part of the prime universe which has had 5 series worth of content, to then contradict it all by making up nonsense using established canon ... What’s the point? Why not just make a reboot? Set it in a parallel universe, which it obviously is. If you’re so desperate to get away from canon then don’t tell us it’s part of it! But more importantly, if you’re that desperate to ignore it and rewrite it and change it ... why not just make something new?

Lorca has shown 0 compassion to anyone before ever, why would he help her personal request?

these holograms are just so Star Wars, it bothers me every time

“there are protocols to be followed” but they’ve never followed them before, so why would they now lol

Stamets really is different - why couldn’t have been this fun from the start? “groovy” “super cool” “Sarekvision” “psychic hit of speed”

“are you really that crazy?” ummm have you met Michael?

Michael, Tilly, and Voq-Tyler on a shuttle going into a nebula to mind meld with Sarek and find it, what could possibly go wrong?

so many holograms. sigh.

lol Admiral came to see Lorca in person and tell him off  for launching an unauthorised mission led by a mutineer and a POW who has barely had time to recover - and I quote "can you even trust this guy?"

because that's how Starfleet Admirals speak

sigh. I miss proper Star Trek. this FEELS like 2017. it feels like these people just stepped out of today and onto these spaceships. it doesn’t feel like 2250-whatever. add all the holograms you want, holograms do not maketh the future - there was a tone, an aesthetic quality, including goofy space clothes and Shakespearean dialogue, that made it feel like it wasn’t happening now

“I checked him out” ya-huh, you’re gonna have egg on your face when it’s dramatically revealed that he’s a Klingon spy lol

the cornerstone of their entire defence against the Klingons is a science vessel with an experimental mushroom drive ... I can’t even with this show

Lt Stamets engaging in eugenics - hey yeah, I forgot that was an issue, funny how they’re happy to throw away 90% of what we know but keep the tiniest parts, it just makes it all so meaningless

and now they’re having a drink ... so that whole scene was just to remind us that Starfleet exists and remind us that Discovery is important to the war ... they really have to do a lot of telling on this show don’t they?

oh good, the tac vests are back

right. of course. who else would Sarek’s thoughts turn to when he’s dying? not his wife. not his son. YOU. “I was supposed to be his proof that Humans and Vulcans could co-exist as equals” ???? the Federation has existed for almost a century by this point! he LITERALLY HAS A HUMAN WIFE and that half-Human son they keep forgetting - WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK WOULD HE NEED A HUMAN WARD TO PROVE ANYTHING??????

YOU’RE his greatest disappointment? not that he’s fucked up his relationship with his son? or y’know, his full Vulcan son off making a cult?

we’ve done this storyline so many times in more interesting ways - the original, Spock - Worf raised by humans

oh good, Michael and Sarek fighting ... in his mind ...

AND THEN WE’RE BACK TO LORCA AND ADMIRAL DRINKING WHISKEY?

bleeeuuuugh

“some of the decisions you’ve been making lately are troubling” Sooooo stop him? if only there was a chain of command?

I’m glad someone’s calling him out for being awful, but why is it a friendly chat?

oh, he passed psych evals and tests with flying colours. right.

lord please stop flirting. is that ... sleazy saxophone music?

WHAT.

ARE YOU SERIOUS SHOW?

she has GENUINE CONCERNS about his ability and mental state as a Captain and instead of telling other Admirals or having an official meeting or hearing ... she goes to talk to him directly, and then allows him to distract her by seducing her?

this has gotta be the worst written piece of crap I’ve seen in years. and I just rewatched the DS9 season 1 gems The Passenger and Move Along Home. I’ve seen Threshold, and These are the Voyages, and Shades of Grey. All of which, are better than this show’s first 6 episodes have been.

how is the Klingon spy the best character on the show? the only one with any compassion or actual emotions - is it because he’s trying to be a perfect human

they finally mentioned Spock! wait, isn’t Spock supposed to be on the Enterprise at this point? oh no right it’s 7 years before. LOL Sarek chose Spock over Michael AND THEN SPOCK REJECTED THE SCIENCE ACADEMY

why must we come back to Sarek at all? was this story really necessary? was it burning to be told? like ... what do we gain from it? does it add to his character, or Spock’s? 

Admiral found some scars on Lorca’s back in bed ... and poked them while he was asleep. LOL “you sleep with a phaser in your bed and you say nothing’s wrong?” THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE???? WHY would he have a phaser in his bed? who’s gonna attack him on his own ship?

“all these months I have ignored the signs” and it took this to finally tip you off? geezus. good lord. and she’s not like the other Admirals at Starfleet - I mean, okay actually this is the only thing the show has gotten right so far, they always were idiots lol

“I can’t leave Starfleet’s most powerful weapon in the hands of a broken man”

lol she doesn’t believe his plea not to take his ship away, and him admitting he needs help - I don’t believe him either

Saru we knew he was severely wounded, that was the whole point.

lol is he gonna get the Admiral killed so she backs off? what am I saying, of course he is - I mean, of course this diplomatic negotiation with the Klingons he’s sending her off to is going to get her killed

how can he give Michael a bridge position when she’s a criminal? this whole thing makes no sense. why did they go this nonsense route? other than for the sake of drama (oh wait, that’s the only reason they do anything on this show)

why does the replicator tell you how nutritious your food is

oh of course Voq is gonna befriend and flirt with Michael.

lord, could someone please please tell the writers that they’re supposed to show emotions, not have characters explain what they’re feeling through clunky exposition

“it’s just being human” LOL IT’S FUNNY CAUSE HE’S KLINGON

lol yep, cut to neutral territory, let’s watch as this show’s THIRD FEMALE CHARACTER IS KILLED oh no she’s just been taken hostage LOL

“notify Starfleet Command, ask for orders” W O W he is an ASSHOLE

oh good, next episode is a time loop. Mudd’s back. Voq kisses Michael. 

how is it that this show is serialised and yet feels more disjointed than say, the serial arcs of DS9? every episode it’s like ... Stuff Happens ... and it’s very very loosely connected to what happened before, but seems to be mostly at random?? like, reflecting on what I just watched, not a lot of anything happened? their plots were literally, Sarek is attacked and they rescue him because space telepathy is a thing, so Michael can have some drama I guess ... and Lorca sleeps with the Admiral who realises he’s a dangerous asshole, recommends her for a dangerous mission, then refuses to rescue her. that’s it. 

Like dude, I just rewatched DS9′s Duet and In the Hands of the Prophets last night. This rubbish doesn’t even hold a candle to it??? Kira’s entire emotional arc in season 1 from Emissary, through Past Prologue, Battle Lines, Progress, Duet, and In The Hands of the Prophets, is more nuanced, engaging, and well crafted than Michael’s emotional arc as the protagonist of Discovery. and they weren’t even allowed to do proper serialisation at that point??

[ghostofasecretary]

hooo boy, this week. it would be good to record things that happened this week, because Feelings are happening about said things

Sunday:

attempted to plan things with the Rat Bastard. that failed

applied to Wellesley

really, really, really did not do my ADLs

watched ASoUE

decided that, instead of homework, i should…hang up pictures? spent four hours hanging up pictures with help of parental unit

and then i had a bunch of new stuff on my wall

Monday:

no school! everybody panic! breaks are terrible and no one should have one!

finished ASoUE

plans with people. talking to people. people are good

GOT OBSESSIVELY LOCKED INTO CLEANING

like. usually i am able to focus on stuff for a while and then stop, but here? no. i moved everything in my room. i went through a substantial amount of papers of me, being a dork from 7th grade til last year, and felt extremely awful about all of them

i hate throwing stuff out! it is very good to do so, but also, ugh

moved and collapsed a bunch of stuff

got freaked out by how empty and new my room is

hung up new art

got extremely pissed at the movie “V for Vendetta,” because THAT IS NOT OKAY TO DO TO PEOPLE, HOW THE FUCK, WHAT KIND OF ABUSIVE SHIT SHOW, i don’t really have flashbacks but if i did, uh. yeah.

made some rice

had a panic attack in the shower, as one does

just felt really really terrible for mostly indiscernible reasons, which probably round to “breaks: they aren’t good”

felt okay by the time i went to bed, though

Tuesday:

fuck tuesday

did my homework in the morning because brains, what are brains

hey the principal needs to talk to you and your mom! for reasons! apparently!

HEY GUYS MANDATORY SURPRISED UNSCHEDULED SENIOR MEETING RIGHT WHEN YOU ARE SCHEDULED TO LEAVE WITH YOUR FRIEND

OOPS NOPE NOW THAT IS CANCELLED

then i got to see Joe, which was lovely

we went to the best coffee shop and hung out, and bullied each other into making lists, and we talked about our vastly different suicidal feelings and how i just sort of - process my suicidal intent as background noise, not really anything, like pain, like habit - don’t feel suicidal in the same way i don’t feel like a redhead, and i showed him all of rusalkii’s “the paint pettiness” tag because it is fantastic, and so that was delightful

then we went to an art studio so he could work on photos

i derped around and read poetry and walked out on the freaking awesome porch and admired pretty spiderwebs and sunlight

and then settled in to read for anatomy

and then Joe came in and did stuff in the computer lab, which was nice

AND THEN

hahahahahahhahhahah

a girl! blue eyes, blond hair, tan skin! name of “Maddy!” came in! to sit next to me!

like, i have a couple of things that basically always trigger me and they are all pretty unfortunate. like, being complimented by authority figures, especially in private, makes me want to die. certain bible verses. people making animal noises. churches, as a general rule. but the number one thing which upsets me is people who remind me of Maddy

like, fictional characters named some variation of “Madison”? yeah. can’t read Worm because there’s a short blond blue eyed bully with that name

people with a certain facial structure, even, if i’m having a Bad Time

which! guess what! the past couple of months! i have been having a Bad Time! for a while i could not go to coffee shops without screaming because tall black haired people had snub noses, okay, it has not been a fun season for the Traumz

and, to top it all off, i don’t actually remember her face or how she spells her name! i don’t! i just remember how her full name sounded/really accurate animal sounds/wanted to be a surgeon/blue eyes/snub nose/ambivalent coloring/blond bob, stacked, she didn’t use conditioner and then she did???/had duck pajamas at one point/SUPER AWFUL THINGS SHE DID AND SAID TO ME AND THEN THE THINGS I DID AND SAID FOR HER, hahahhhahaaahah!

so. had a really long and quiet panic attack

frantically texted Joe to ask if he knew her last name, which he did not

it was so horribly triggering, mother of g-d

then she left

and i cuddled Joe a bit, and he was v calming and good, and we talked about random shit and his photos and The Future, and i read him the english major articles and stuff, and overall it was quite distracting

and she came back, and then we left, and we had a brief interaction but it was...fine

and we went down in the elevator

her sign in didn’t include a last name

we walked to the car, and drove further in, and walked til we got to the gelato place in the deco building

the ice cream barista was v v v cute and relatively interesting and recommended pen&ink for tattoos

i really enjoy Joe, he is a good bean and a good friend and Quality

we walked back

i shouted “you go, running man” at a dude who was running very quickly, which was an Incredibly Impulsive decision and then something i felt shitty about, but it was also kinda funny

and people kinda were screaming as we neared the car, so that was weird

i wouldn’t have gone out unless i were with Joe

but it was nice

and i kinda. felt shitty and lived with it, and didn’t think about stuff, and we talked about How To Comfort Ghost When They Are Dead - Joe has improved a lot and it’s nice to have these discussions - and i helped plan for Joe, and he tried to reciprocate, because trying to help other people is really hard to do well, and i really really love my friends and i love Joe and i love feeling comfortable and safe and alive around people. it was good

and i was home by 8

and my sister had moved to my bathroom? which doesn’t sound like a big deal, but also. ugh. i moved downstairs, despite it requiring a lot of leg movement for me, because she is so exhaustingly untidy. i had to force her to clean up, which was unpleasant

and i think this is when i learned about the subject of the mystery meeting? mr. Post decided i could not fully join the alum association because i am not a christian, even though he had earlier said i could! and i was never less than honest about who and what i am! and so either i could do something half baked or i could do nothing. so. wasn’t that a lovely surprise to top off my day :/

and then i went upstairs and my room was empty and i was empty

got to sleep by 9:30, which was at least one good thing

Wednesday:

i was so tired and everything was 10x harder

by lists, this was the busiest day of the week. gotta love that.

got to school at 7:15, due to my mother’s job

did classes

ugh

N, another good bean, immediately got why i was so stressed and was super sympathetic and also asked if it was the Maddy, and i hadn’t thought of that, and i don’t know, i don’t know, i hate my brain doing this to me

we had a super passive aggressive and rather inefficient senior meeting led by the principal, which exposed School Drama

and a disturbing view of how classes work, but that is another topic

i asked good questions and it was incredibly obvious that certain people were at fault and other people were acting decently and still others had no idea that this was happening and did not enjoy the guilt trip and scrupulosity triggers and, in fact, the knowledge of other people’s stupid high school bullshit

who doesn’t get their drama done in 5th grade and get super traumatized and decide to never do that again? honestly

AND THEN

(warnings for a lack of clarity in the next section, because rage)

ms. Cathey yelled at us for being “selfish”

and said we were “spoiling your reputation”

and more importantly, “spoiling my reputation. this reflects badly on me and my job.“

FUCK YOU

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT KIDS

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU LEAD PEOPLE

the only reason classes have a reputation is because you tell other classes about them

ALSO: PLEASE DO NOT INSINUATE THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE BEHAVING SELFISHLY WHEN, IN FACT, THEY ARE ACTING LIKE PEOPLE AND YOU SEE YOURSELF AS A DIVINELY APPOINTED MEDDLER AND THUS THEIR PROBLEMS ARE A SELF CENTERED ATTACK ON YOU, AS A PERSON

you know the only person who was really, lastingly hurt by this? her aide, who spends 8 hours in her office and has her ear as no one else does and has noticeably become more like ms. Cathey in the last year

this is a fucking adult. a 30 year old woman. yelling at high school seniors about how they are selfish for attempting to solve their own, mostly self generated problems, without talking enough to the person you hear most from, who is probably being influenced by your own propensity for inefficient, ineffective, and frankly inaccurate communication

YOU ARE BAD AT YOUR JOB AND BAD TO PEOPLE AROUND YOU AND I WANT YOU TO BE FIRED, PLEASE STOP BEING AROUND PEOPLE WHO ARE EASILY HURT, PLEASE STOP BEING SO DUMB, JUST. Fucking stop.

(that’s not very kind, but at this point i am incredibly angry with her and my anger is justified, and so i will have to construct a positive case in defense of her, that’s good practice. once i graduate, though, i am asking for her to be fired)

no one came out of that meeting with anything resembling sanity

and then my meeting with the principal got cancelled

and i went to a coffee shop and hung out with The Coolest Dietz, which was pretty great

except i was, as noted, dead and full of rage and anxiety

but mostly it was awesome

and then i had philology club

and then i took a friend home

and then i took a bath

and then i figured out how to dress for prom

and then i had that kind of dissociation that’s so stark and unsubtle it can’t be anything but dissociation, where your hands aren’t your hands and your body isn’t your body and you aren’t alive, at all, really, you’re a floating falling non being in static space

and then i read someone’s trauma blog a bit

and then i talked to a person

and then i failed to do things, because exhaustion

and then i went to sleep really early

Thursday:

did not have homework done, which was unfortunate but could be fixed. also did not have headache medications.

why?

because who has the energy to remind people multiple times of your pressing need for medication

it was an understandable mistake, but also. ugh.

PAIN HAPPENED

skyped my principal while i had a migraine. that was…fun.

i don’t feel like detailing it but it went well, i guess, and we decided a thing, mostly

apparently i am “groundbreaking” or w/e

remember how compliments from authority figures in private make me want to die? yeaahh

laid in the dark while in pain for a while

got meds at 12

read about s t o y a, because why not

got increasingly horribly anxious about my freaking homework for Friday

talked to a person; said person attempted to help and had me do some ADLs, which was good

got an SD card, which was a surprise but a good one

still did not even begin to do things. SO. TIRED.

stayed up til 11, decided this was unproductive because i could not move

went to bed

Friday:

decided to go to school even though i had done nothing and was dead, because i have a fun Dr. V class on Fridays

read the German in a rush before school

went to class

went to break. oh! turns out! we’re streaming the whole inauguration! and today has no schedule! and Mr. Post’s secretary isn’t here, so we can’t ask her why!

i hate surprises

one of my two classmates is incredibly, incredibly pro-Trump

it’s so exhausting.

the other was absent

we read some stuff, it was good, the fact that i didn’t have my homework mattered less than expected

Dr. V did not actually call me and The Coolest Dietz, who decided to hang out in our classroom, quote man-hating dykes unquote, but holy shit, that was hilarious

and very inaccurate, in Dietz’s case. after he left Dr. V began talking about how he could “clean up nice” and “all the boys at our school must be blind,” which was even more hilarious

(also this saga was a bit awful, but there are things that you forgive in order to live in the world, so)

S U R P R I S E

YOU HAVE TO GIVE A SPEECH! 

SORRY THAT I, THE GREAT MS. CATHEY, DIDN’T TELL YOU THIS

ALSO I GAVE YOU BLATANT MISINFORMATION ABOUT THE BANNER, SORRY

WHO DOESN’T LOVE FUN SURPRISES

ALSO I WAS GONE ALL DAY BECAUSE I WAS GETTING MY HAIR DONE, LOL

called a college b/c application bullshit

prepared for Teh Prom

was at Teh Prom

it was exhausting and i was temporarily blinded due to masks

Surprise! the person who made last year’s third quarter miserable with her wedding showed up and hugged you from behind! gotta love it!

she wasn’t at my table, thank fucking god

sat next to M and K, and M wanted to talk about 3D printing and K wanted to write notes, and it was altogether pretty satisfactory

the food wasn’t great, but it existed, so that was good.

i waltzed with Joe’s little sister, the same K, which was pretty fun

wrote a lot of notes, always a delightful Teh Prom activity

i wrote a speech in the car on the way there

THAT WAS SO ANXIETY INDUCING

it was a Work for me and my co-banner-bullshit-committee-member to divide the speech into a nice, thematically appropriate thing, BUT WE DID IT

THANK GOD

and my jokes carried! and we played off of each other! i fucking love public speaking

and the NOA thing happened

it was surprisingly not awkward, if anxiety-inducing

and then it was over

and i went home

and i was home

and i slept

Saturday:

slept for 12 hours and woke up at 11

good talks in the morning

mostly was a person

felt bad

did laundry

took a bath

cleaned my room some more

went to a tea shop, which was nice

cleaned some stuff

read about how to resist Trump

goofed around on tumblr

drank a delicious oatmeal type mocha and had an extremely filling triple layer chocolate mousse

went home

ate a lot of food

kinda crashed

talked to people

realized HEY, i feel like an automaton or a cyborg and usually that means i am festering

wrote this thing! thanks again, rusalkii, you are a delight and an extremely helpful human

now: put up laundry

slep

i don’t know how i feel, still, but i now understand the magnitude of shitty stuff which has happened. the thing on Tuesday has made everything 10x harder, even though i was able to ground and be comforted and think the past was post, it still sucked a lot. and there were other triggering things this week! there was a frankly ridiculous amount of pain and also walking!

surprises kill me so much and so thoroughly and i never remember this.

next week will probably be hard. i might not feel it. i first thought i wouldn’t react for a while, but i seem to be reacting a bit. maybe something will pop up later and maybe it won’t, who knows. it’s okay that things suck.

a few quotes: not the spring dawn: i strained, i suffered, i was delivered. this isn’t the present. nature isn’t like us, doesn’t have a warehouse of memory.

lucky nature.

(not everything has to bloom. that’s how gardens work: you plant seeds, you wait. something imperfect grows, still, maybe.)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

@thecicadasong yeah i havent actually had like, Anons trying to get fresh w/ me about what i Should be drawing (i think ive gotten anon hate like, twice? once for passing along a tweet abt respecting homeless people, another time i have No idea why they were trying to roast me but they were also...weirdly bad at it) but the very rare occasions someone’s tried to tell me i should be drawing different stuff for whatever reason Stick With Me b/c i’m often still steamed abt shit that mightve happened years back but it was THAT annoying lmfao & i reaaally hate when ppl get patronizing &/or when i can tell they’re acting like whatever angle they’re taking is going over my head or they think i’m clueless & i can’t even tell they see me that way lol and i’m like, oh my god i mean it doesn’t make me concerned if i Only Appreciate Boys b/c they’re mostly who i draw b/c yknow......my drawing corner is some rando over here just entertaining myself & Xpressing myself. and a real limited amt of my Interests = the ones im able/interested enough in to draw, & then i tend to wanna draw them a million times lmao....it’s not necessarily the One Unfiltered Reflection of all my interests and all the characters i like, cuz it’s not the only way i think abt shit and express things, & if somebody thinks that my Portfolio not being >50% Girls means that it’s b/c i’ve totally hated girls all along.....that’d be their prerogative i guess. also good lord but that’d be a bad litmus test anyways like.......alllll the misogynist dude artists who draw plenty of ~female characters~ like Yikes City ahhhhh god thats such a fucking cursed realm like. the people so sexist they should be banned from depicting girls and women in any medium. and banned in general God Anyways And Yeah like. the terrible relationships thing too.........like really, this is what you think is appealing???? its too clear sometimes when some man writing this kind of stuff has NO real idea how to think of a woman as an actual person and if they’re trying to write from that perspective it’s like “oh, let’s throw in a ‘smh boys are so stupid and sexist’ thought to realistically depict what it must be like to experience misogyny” and “something about a bra idk” and then call it a day, and if they’re trying to write Romance it’s just like....this Incredible Love that’s truly out of nowhere and they never bother explaining what sustains this, or they decide that the reason bitches liked pride & prejudice is totally because she thought he was a jerk and they fought but then it was like wait nvm we’re in love, right?? and they make that into like, some dude being able to be a total asshole and a really detrimental force in some girl’s life and somehow this Intensity can just be translated into Romantic Intensity no problem, it’s fine that like, they’re not even friends and who knows how to believe they can just get along in regular life and the guy is probably super disrespectful and diminishes her but whatever its fine All Of This And More.....there are so many terrible and annoying ways they do m/f relationships and it’s Really easy to just make it decently written!!! i mean of course sometimes there’s m/f ships that i think are tolerably written and i don’t hate it but also don’t particularly care one way or another but a small / hetero-leaning fandom will like Never Shut Up About It and it’s like ok please shut up about it......i mean really i definitely don’t ever go into any new piece of media expecting to give a shit about any Guy Girl couple. it was a pleasant but total surprise that i really like jeremy/christine (which is not me disavowing the nb lesbian jeremy hc by any means lol) and it was NOT complicated why!!! really in fact a couple of the biggest reasons i found it Especially Good is like, ten seconds in total lmao and it’s “jeremy and christine cracking up by squawking at each other on the couch” and “jeremy doing that Ecstatic Stimming Twirl after kissing christine for 0.003 seconds” lmao.....like!!!! consider showing that the characters can actually have genuine fun interacting with each other for longer than five seconds!!!! give us a single reason why they’d be drawn to each other As People!!! it’s notttt thaaaat harrrrrd aaaaaaaaaA THE WEIRD CHARACTERS yeah i love a true Quirky character and not in the like.....bad clichéd quirky way but like. just someone who’s weird!! the nerdy awkward guys who manifest this by like....maybe being a tiny bit socially clumsy are like, boring and whatever a dime a dozen. but when people are funky and in a sort of fun way and it’s genuinely part of how they interact with others....it’s real relatable lmao i don’t have any very Weird Persona at this point but back in the day i did a bit moreso b/c like, firstly interacting w ppl tended to make me Nervous so it’s like ah hell i’ll do a bit. and then also there’s the classic “well i have this Weirdness abt me that i can’t turn off that ppl seem to dislike, so i’ll put on this extra layer of weirdness that i can try to be vaguely entertaining with.” and then you aren’t popular at all still lol but at least you’ve got your niche amongst whoever does actually like you.....Weird Quirky Guys characters are fun and like, it’s funny that nato of the black suits is Like That in terms of being a lil weirdo who just kind of does his thing in his corner and might Say Something About Anything Apropos Of Nothing as his conversational style and he’s apparently that superlative student type but doesnt seem to actually give a shit and just has his specific interest and depression.......it’s like oh jeez!!! relatable lmao!!! everyone who has a kind of Veneer of communicating a bit erratically and maybe just always throwing out random shit when interacting with others to hope something sticks......but also the strangeness doesn’t even have to be at all performative b/c it’s rarer but super fun when there’s characters who do have that kind of more inherent weirdness that they can’t turn off that really puts people off despite like....them not really doing anything lol....now THAT’S what i call A Timeless Mood it’s funny lmao like i totally have clear Character Types and i always go for those ppl on the same general wavelength as me but it can be a bit Unpredictable and nuanced which ones will actually be adopted into the faves category......like naturally i go for the un-cool passionate excitable types but if someone’s real like, mad energetic or demanding/loud im like oops you lost me. i like people who like to / want to Socialize / have relationships but sometimes if they’re too outgoing / have that natural success at it all / are obv free of anxiety im like, again, you’ve lost me. you truly never know!! only the Most relatable can survive!! one that might seem like they should be a fave on paper might super annoy me lol or just generate Zero interest.......it’s nice to be surprised by which characters really strike a chord lol

[bodega-daydream]

August 10, 2018

I had a dream that I got a job at Buzzfeed working and sitting right next to all of the Try Guys. I sat next to Keith, my fave. I forget how I got the job or when I applied, but the other 3 try guys were there and Keith was on vacation. So he was like when did this even happen I don’t remember you applying (in a good ‘I can’t wait to work with my friend’ manner). I don’t remember what I told him but it’s fine. I was then showing the boss this BB-8 lego set that I had gotten to celebrate me getting this job. I was super excited about it. It had a bonus jack-o-lantern set with it. He was excited about it and showed the rest of the try guys, but none of them were impressed. Eugene reacted positively to the pumpkin, but then they all started discussing how BB-8 didn’t have great character development and that he was going to die in the 3rd movie anyway. I was surprised at how candidly open and honest they all were about even the smallest thing. I was a little taken aback as well.

Snipers saving children under highway bridge.

There was another part where I was walking around ‘London’. It was in black and white. I looked amazing in this beautiful peacoat and knee high boots. I was crossing the street and at one point it felt like a video game in that there were black and white vector graphics of winter gear that I was trying to line up with other pedestrians so that it looked like they were wearing them. Eventually I got to the opposite street corner where I was maybe looking for someone. Or wanted someone to notice me? I saw Dan F meet up with who must have been his girlfriend. I don’t know if I wanted him to see me, but I walked away and down a street. I think I saw this hot guy with this girl and I wanted him to take notice of me. Then I saw my mom approach from the other side of the street and I walked over to meet her while shouting ‘hiiii moooommmmm’. It felt like my American accent ruined the whole sexy British illusion.

Later I had a dream but I hope still worked at Bulletproof but we had a new office space that's put up design and accounts. I had just gotten back from vacation and was put on a phase 1 with you 4 some Smiley snacks, IDK. I thought pretty far away from you but next to Liam, naturally. My screen was a lot higher then my desk and chair and I couldn't focus because it was so far away and I felt like a child. It was between that desktop and a laptop that I also could not focus on because it was so small. I think I was just generally looking at the internet for a while before I got up and checked to see what you were doing. You had already set up templates and put sketches on and put them into a deck with Swype and everything and I was like s*** I didn't do anything yet. There were a lot of new people that work there and one of them started talking to me and asking me questions about video editing how many laptops he could get to work on. He was describing the peaks of these videos but they were all graphs called tabs and I was like dude I don't understand but I can ask for a more powerful computer for you. He was a freelancer to so. But Dave also work there, not as a new person I knew he worked there. I was very aware that he could see where I was and what I was doing and I saw him watching me talk to this new guy. I suddenly became very aware that I was wearing a nice black dress. Instead of going back to work I decided to go to the bathroom but I wasn't wearing any shoes. I walked to the shared kitchen area and bathroom space but did not recognize anybody who worked in accounts. Instead of going to the bathroom I got into a group of them and shouted I've literally never seen any of you before in my life. And I asked who I was new but I was like no I work here for 3 years. You didn't quit? And I was like no of course not. And I was talking to these two people for a bit. One had mentioned that she really looked up to Kristen and I invited her to come skate with us on Sunday. She was hesitant but then I also is very aware of my outfit as a white T-shirt and a black skirt, just a more General skater vibe. I think the other girl scuffed when I mention skating and she looked like she was a pro and I was like I'm just learning when's the last time you learned anything new and she didn't have an answer but she started singing like some famous auto-tuned person and I was kind of confused because she was also laying on the floor I don't know is weird. I went back over to the design side because I was like I got to work because I've got nothing and I've been on this project for 2 days already. I went back to my desk which apparently was now me sitting with a laptop on my moms bed. I was watching CSI and there were he's weird mummified bodies that were killed in the stadium Arena at like a monster truck rally. I still was not getting any work done but found my mom's laptop for typing which was just a keyboard and a screen. I mean it sounds like a regular laptop but it was very narrow, the same dimensions of a keyboard. I kept thinking that I'll just drag over Sam's files and work my sketches into her templates but I couldn't find them because I just couldn't find him pictures of me at baseball games with Simon. I decided that I would just sketch my ideas I had three and that was better than none. But then my mom came in and apparently it was my last week of work and I said that I had nothing but what are they going to do, fire me? But then I thought that maybe they could and then I wouldn't get my severance pay so oops. Then I fell asleep and woke up in my room and my apartment. I thought that I heard someone in the yard climb up and enter into the apartment through the window. I was freaking out and listening to see if anybody had come in. But then my door started to open and my roommates never just open my door without knocking so I thought this has got to be a burglar. And I sit up quickly and look at who it was and it was Elise but I couldn't see her face because I was used to the dark and into walked into the light and I was too bright for me to focus. But she also had this charcoal mask on her face and look terrifying and I kind of yelled at her not to come in. I think she was checking on me because she had the mask on and she said that they delivered the Christmas ham downstairs and she wanted me to go get it but because I freaked out she's like fine I'll go get it. But then I calmed down and told her that whole situation that I thought she was a burglar but Ellen brought over people so I close my door. Then I was looking out my window and maybe taking pictures or something but I was then outside in this Garden. It was an overcast day. But I was walking through this square of tiny trees and stepping through them and apparently that was the New Millennium Park. We had designed an early so that we could get a break. Maybe we were part god or something? But we were debating about the size of one of the trees being too big for regular people and we were just like LOL and we started to walk away down the street at night. I didn't have any shoes on but I had blisters on my feet from the boots I wore in London that were too small. But we were walking on tarmac and through the muddy puddles and on gravel on sidewalks and I was explaining how much my feet hurt and that this was actually better than wearing shoes. I was with three other people, James Corden, my brother, and someone else. The other two were far in the front ahead of us but I was explaining to James about my blisters from the shoes and he was like oh no that's too bad while he was riding one of those single wheel hoverboards. And I was thinking you should give that to me because my feet hurt to walk on the ground and you shoes but he would not let that thing go until it went out of control and he had to go chase it. while he was chasing it and we were catching up to the other two my brother had gone into a shop and rented two motorized scooters for me and him so that we could zoom off. I made a joke about how it would be funny if he had a motorized scooter in mine was a regular scooter. We where in this random I guess hotel room and Samara and this other woman were there. they must have been a couple because I thought at first she was just photographing her and this cool lighting that looked vintage Polaroid. But they are both wearing flowy jumpsuits and we're taking selfies of them being very close and suggestive of them being together. They said they were taking photos to send to the owner to assure him that they were leaving. but I took the camera from them which was just a small point and shoot camera and told the other girl to go stand in front of the blinds and the back of the room so that I could take a portrait photo. but as I was setting up the shot, Samara came over with a flash DSLR and kept ruining the shot by not letting me get my angle and by ruining the lighting. I never got the shot and I just yelled at her for always ruining stuff. Samara went to the other side of the room in a huff while I cleaned up my stuff and got ready to leave. the other girl and I seem to have a better connection than her and Samara did. I think she gave me something before I left that was relevant to work but I don't remember.