#I thought I heard wrong the first time
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I got gendered correctly today! By a complete stranger!
#I AM SO HAPPY#I'VE BEEN RIDING THE HIGH FROM THAT THE WHOLE DAY TODAY#THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE#I thought I heard wrong the first time#but nope#she kept referring to me as a guy the whole time#:D#transgender#trans joy#lgbtq#:D :D :D
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i was thinking about that ask i received the other day and how uncharacteristically upset the topic had made me when i usually just think "mh. gross!" and move on, and after mulling it over a while i realized it wasn't about the topic at all, it was the ask itself that freaked me out. i've mentioned sporadically before (for obvious reasons lol) that i used to be involved in fandom discourse when i was younger and that!! fucked me up quite a lot. between exacerbating my ocd and straight up getting cyber stalked (i almost feel guilty using that word, like i don't deserve it but. yeah that is 100% what happened to me), the topic is something I have very complex and personal opinions on but that i hate talking about in public because it still sets off my fight or flight response.
i know some people in the fandom are like "let me know if i ever rb someone who wrote/drew gross stuff" and that's entirely their choice and i respect it. but for the record, i am not one of these people. please, for the love of god, i am asking this genuinely do NOT come into my DMs about this, I don't want to know. assume I'm either living in blissful ignorance or my blacklist already covers me quite nicely & i wanna keep it that way. i vastly prefer the discomfort of stumbling into something unprepared and deciding what to do about it on my own, to the utter pit of dread i get whenever i open a message that starts with "hey just so you know-". i have blocked multiple people in the past over it. i WILL block more. be warned.
[note. this doesn't apply to people who have either hurt or behaved inappropriately with other members of the fandom, or spread bigotry and discrimination like racists and transphobes. please do let me know in those cases]
does this make sense? idk I'm kinda feverish you guys figure it out. I'm going to sleep.
#word from the wise for anyone peering into the jaws of discourse. there are only 2 types of people you can trust on their opinions on it#they are 1) people who have never heard of ship discourse like. at all. and 2) people who know too much about it#and with that i mean people who started off at one end of the discourse ricochetted to the other side and then came out#objectively refusing to associate with any of it. because they Know. that whatever issue lies at the heart of it is never gonna get resolve#with the way that discourse is conducted. and that the problems will never truly be fixed. and even then#you should take three or four of them at once from different starting and ending points and let them talk it out together first#because they all came from different point of views the others could've missed#i cannot WARN YOU ENOUGH. you do not want to be the second type. don't fall in#block who you wanna block and be kind any time you can. most people aren't inherently evil & that's a weird thing to assume about someone#and for the love if god stop fucking beefing with teenagers online#that is all you need to know about this. go have fun#i haveee so many fucking. thoughts about this topic i genuinely think i could have (and have had! seriously!) constructive discussions on i#about what would be helpful and what needs to be changed and what people get wrong. but it's always in private. because of the horrors#anyway shipping wars veteran discounts when
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🤡
#not being a hater but#just having midnight thoughts#about sokai and how it’s been handled#as someone not steeped in the lore of kh much at all#yet at least#I’ve heard all the excuses#nomura’s a bad romance writer#they’re just queerbaiting#and there was a time when I’d say that was true#but now I’m not convinced#I mean saying nomura is a bad writer is just… such a bad faith take#the guy’s got one of the most intricate stories out there#he’s made it clear that everything he does is very intentional#so it makes me wonder if sokai has such little development for a reason?#I think we can all agree that the lack of dev for kairi sucks#but perhaps nomura doesn’t want us to root for her and sora as endgame?#I’d love to see kairi have a self discovery journey of her own without sora tbh#probably not the first person to say that but it does make sense#I went from thinking soriku could never happen#to thinking like wow holy shit this could actually be a thing#within a weekend#aided by the famous riku is gay vid ofc#usually I could care less about canonicity but#soriku endgame actually#and if I’m wrong well…#I’m already a clown so it can’t get more delulu than that#tragic clowning#soriku#kingdom hearts
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question. are the 'lotus eaters' from Jessica laws song Lotus eaters the nymphs? ik that if the song was kept in it would be in place of sirens but idk enough about greek mythology to really pick up on that that implies.
I kinda though so because lotus is frequently referenced as something Orpheus struggles with addiction to, aswell as presumably being big in the nymph scene/Dionysus's clientele, being so focused on pleasure.
(set at a party held by narcissus, Dionysus's most popular nymph)
also this line (government sponsored??? hmmmm)
#might just be me (who for some reason though lotus eaters was a song SUNG by Orpheus the first few times I heard it 😭 and so had him in#the front of my mind the whole time)#but also the vibe of the song feels very seductive. and the idea of letting go of outside troubles and matters of the word to loose yoursel#to the lotus/drug addiction. feels in line with the nymphs doubling as information extractors as well as pleasure workers#could be completely wrong tho and would just like to hear other ppls thoughts#esp since I know jack shit about greek myth 😭#psii.txt#ulysses dies at dawn#jessica law#languid little lies#lotus eaters#udad Orpheus#udad narcissus#the mechanisms
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Guys am I going insane what's Cooper's last name in the original (English) version I'm convinced they changed it in the dub and I don't know WHY they would do that??
Edit: don't worry guys we (kinda) solved it 😅 waiting for streaming/physical release now to check the subtitles
#imdb and wikipedia only say cooper#no last name#and i've seen y'all tagging him with first and last name#and i am confused#i thought the first time i heard it wrong but i've watched the movie several times now and i didn't mishear#but why would they change his name that makes absolutely no sense#sigh guess i'll have to wait for the movie to be released for streaming/purchasing#i will solve this riddle#trap 2024
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Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats that you've spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life. But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?
#fun fact the first time i watched trainspotting i thought ewan mcgregor mispronounced 'suit'#as in three-piece suit like the clothes because i had never heard of a three-piece suite#turns out it's a type of furniture but the sentence makes sense either way so i really thought he just said it wrong#if you look up the monologue some people have transcribed it incorrectly as 'suit' so im not the only to have this misunderstanding#anyway this is the best opening narration of all time and i think about it every day#eight in the morning thinking about trainspotting like damn did you even try to be happy today
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Y'all I had the WRONG idea what Tuck Everlasting was about
#just heard Seventeen for the first time#i 100℅ thought Winnie was his little sister#then he said “I'll wait until you're seventeen like me and we can get married”#totally rocked my world#looking back tho#if i think about it for 2 seconds#there is a whole song in ehich she repeatedly says her name is Winnie Foster and not Winnie Tuck#so like it makes sense#but omfg i was wrong#it's still weird as hell that he as a 17 year old is telling an 11 year old he'll wait for her to grow up to marry her#thats weird#i don't like that#i still have no idea what this show is about#tuck everlasting
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mister impossible, greywaren
#they're both so fucking crazy. whatever's wrong with the first is wrong with the other.#'but this adam killed those adams so this one could win' ok. evil monologue.#the thought processes happening in their heads is labyrinthian#they deserve each other so much.#lose my mind every time i remember ronan heard this speech in his vapor form or whatever the fuck#pynch#tdt#greywaren spoilers
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one time i was talking to my american online friends about stuff and i was like "haha yeah people always say i look ambiguously european but cant place what i am specifically" and they were like "i dont think europeans have a look though." what do you mean. you dont believe different ethnic features exist...?
#just was reminded of it lol#one i no longer talk to used to insist that i was british because of my not-british accent and would not believe me when i said#no... i dont live there#id told them i was aussie. they didnt believe me though. like they thought i inexplicably had a brtisih accent despite never#having been there ever#another i said i didnt get a SSCoE for HS but a diploma. thats not what diplomas are here but they kept insisting i was wrong#like i have the certificate....its not a diploma.......... thats not what it says.#but they were like just call it a diploma : / its basically a diploma#i know AU isnt that different to the US but at least we are usually a little less annoying#i did see that asshat who was like 'uhhhh climate change means you dont have snow? not for us australians a-durrrrr X D' or w/e#what a twat. even from a purely selfish perspective we still also have climate change. its very noticeable. come on#anyway for a full decade i basically never met anyone online who wasnt USamerican....................#so. i do have some amount of frustration.#they got mad at me for saying bikkie or pressie as slang even tho theyre super easy to figure out from context. also it doesnt matter#'STOP using slang you KNOW us americans WONT UNDERSTAND'#we were talking about christmas!?!? pressie is straightforward!?!? even if not...why are you so indignant#on a more awful note i knew one sheila (white) who was like very vocally/performatively into blm#but then one time when i mentioned aboriginal australians she was like 'what...ive never heard of those before...'#youve known me for years even if you never looked at anything in your life ever id definitely mentioned them before#pretty fucking important. both for my country and when caring about indigenous/first nations peoples. oldest surviving culture on earth#but she was like how was i supposed to know about them : /#because i thoguht you cared about these issues!?!?!??!? also just generally ohhh my god#how could you be vaguely aware of AU history as being similar to your own and then say you didnt know we had indigenous peoples#like. what do i even say#do you think... only america has indigenous peoples??????#its fine not to know a foreign countrys history in depth but just...the absolute basics....about an issue you claim to care about...#sigh. ok this is too long. i feel that last one is justified to complain about tho
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another childhood bucket list item obtained: i finally have a snuggie
#and it's the real thing not even a knockoff#kinda surprised they still exist#but also not surprised bc Blanket. blanket is universal#i just remember a lot of those As Seen On Tv ads like. imploding within 5 years#they still do As Seen On Tv products like there are still boxes marked with that logo it almost feels wrong like an ancient relic#bc most like. ubiquitous 2000s brands from my childhood are just Gone or at least so fundamentally changed it's not the same thing#heard about like 50 more companies going bankrupt probably in the last year alone#anyway ive always wanted a snuggie it's one of those Always Wanted things that never go away#others include: staples easy button (obtained!); mini fridge (not); pillow pet (i had a knockoff once); power drill (not)#i spent a surprising amount of my childhood actually going out of my way to buy stuff i could use in my own apartment in the future#i grew up lower middle class and then just lower class#so like. i always Knew i couldn't just furnish the whole apartment at once i Knew I'd have to build stuff up over time#also bc when my sister got kicked out she had like. nothing. in her trailer. and i did not want to have nothing#i knew if dad was willing to just toss out my sister like that i would absolutely follow suit#and i did! two years younger than my sister when she was!#it just happened that my mom didn't want me homeless at FOURTEEN when i legally could not work for two more years#so she went with me and we lived with my grandma#so take that dad. turns out throwing family members out willy nilly makes the rest of your family not trust you or like you!#and now i get to rub it in his face that HE can't function in a house by himself and still needs to beg my mom to clean up after him#bc i spent so much of my childhood getting berated and called lazy for not doing chores#getting told stuff like 'you have to function by yourself your parents can't always pick up after you'#and then he's literally useless without his wife#he's not disabled and he's not neurodivergent he's never even had a serious health scare he just doesn't bother to learn how to clean#his excuse is that he doesn't know how to use the washer and dryer (it has been almost ten years fucker. learn)#or he doesn't know which cleaning products to use (you have google and a library card. LOOK IT UP)#he's the only person i get mad at for this behaviour bc he's a fucking hypocrite and a child abuser about it too#he is the exception to my rule of everyone needs to be given the space to get things done where they're able and deserve help when needed#and I'll bend over backwards to make excuses for other people so i DONT exclude them from my rule i will try to find every good reason first#he has no fucking excuse though he made two teenagers nearly homeless bc he thought we were too lazy and then he's even worse
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Thinking about that line in Fatal Frame 3: The Tormented when you're playing as Rei and you go to visit Miku in her room at night and Miku sees you and says all sweetly "Having trouble sleeping? Do you need to sleep in here with me?" like sleeping in the same bed together is a thing they commonly do, especially when Rei is having nightmares, and it melts my heart every time because it's just so sweet. 🥺💜
#fatal frame#miku hinasaki#rei kurosawa#rei kurosawa x miku hinasaki#project zero#fatal frame 3#first time i heard it i actually had to reload my save because i thought i heard it wrong#i literally melt every time i hear it#I have to actually pause the game for a few moments to steady my gay ass heart over it
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oh how I love responding to every little thing by having a panic attack nowadays
#dressed in everything but a bra and ready to roam the streets at 3 in the morning#aka a complete ass. a hysterical one. one who was apparently gonna walk her sobbing ass to the all-night clinic#between the wild dogs and the patrol cars. uh huh. I'd never have been heard from again#best part: I had the anxiety meds the clinic gave me last time at home. I forgot about them bc I was panicking though.#... in other news I've been soothed and medicated and hugged and commanded to see the psychiatrist I have a referral for first thing 2moro#at 6am. who in tarnation is awake at 6am let alone coherent enough to explain what's wrong#thought
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you
you get it
(talking about Azure)
stop it! i’m blushing! 🥰
#also i am sorry to cloud for ranting on their azure poll twice bc i don’t actually talk about azure much but i do have thoughts about him#like listen *pulls up chair and sits right next to you*#he is written to be sympathetic#Azure is written to be a likable antagonist and someone we could believe has a good heart but ended up on the wrong side of the story#BUT!!! *taps presentation screen that was totally here with us the whole time*#Azure is an antagonist#Azure was never meant to be redeemable#why?#well remember when MK tries to reason with Azure that maybe he’s mistaken about his view of Wukong?#and how Azure interrupts him stubbornly reaffirming his skewed and biased vowed of swk?#this was flag number 1#and have y’all fucking HEARD the way he speaks????? does anyone else like feel their skin crawl????#have you not met someone who believes that they have everyone in the palm of their hands??? that they can convince you of anything????#bc that’s like the first thing i picked up#also how Azure used similar mannerisms to swk but it just seems for forced and mechanical or was that just me????#anyway#moral of the story: i would (if i had the ability) totally punch Azure & mock him but also he’s got really juicy narrative writing#he was clearly written with the intent to make MK doubt and question his loyalties (which MK just chews him out for in the special 😍)#lmk#lmk azure lion#asks
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Guess who recently watched gregory horror show this week and totally didn't develop feelings for the crusty elderly rat man
#I just finished all four seasons of the show and. Holy shit. I get the hype for this show. It fucking rules ^_^#Back then I only slightly heard of this series. At first I thought it was some weird point and click adventure game from the late 90s#But apparently I was wrong.#I just kinda remembered that I heard of it lately and decided to look into it to see what it was.#And I just got. Sucked in out of sheer curiosity and interest#And since it mostly comprised of 3 minute shorts it was easy to watch the full seasons in their entirety when I had time#It's one of the most unique shows I have seen in a while and I'm really glad I checked it out when I did. It's really good#I'm also gay as hell for gregory. He's such a bastard and I want to marry this decrepit rat so badly#I just realized this is the 2nd time I fell in love with and old rat man.. oh dear#*ramble txt#Gregory horror show
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the heart acoustic still does a weird audio illusion thing to me where I legitimately hear 'girl' instead of 'boy' for 'i was just a boy you see'
like, I don't know how, and even despite knowing it's boy I still fuckin hear it
It drove me insane a bit bc at first i just kinda accepted it as >oh this must be neat little lyric trick or something, maybe gender weirdness or something something metaphorical given it's the heart's part
i even tried making it clearer and all of that and strained my brain to hear 'boy' and tried listening through different qualities and everything but no, I kept hearing 'girl'
and my brain just got stuck on it for a little while bc it wasn't acting like audio illusions usually act for me-- once I know the right word or whatever that's being said, I hear that, but it wasn't doing that for me here
friend even suggested doing a test to see what people'd hear but I just kinda gave up on that thought immediately because I felt embarrassed wheezes
a year later I still hear 'girl' there but my brain knows it's 'boy' so I just think 'boy' anyway, and a couple times I've managed to hear 'boy' there
basically: my fun time with the heart acoustic and whatever the fuck my ears / brain were doing
#[ ;text ]#this also wasn't from like. me speculating on his gender or something either. though I admit thinking I heard girl made me wonder for a bit#it just. IT WAS WEIRD BECAUSE I FOLLOWED THE LYRICS EVEN THE FIRST TIME I LISTENED#THOUGHT THE 'BOY' SOUNDED WEIRD BUT DIDN'T THINK MUCH ON IT#repeated bc the covers are really good#third listen brain clicked it as 'girl' and never fucking went back and i still don't understand#but i've just. accepted my ears will hear it wrong despite my many attempts to hear it right wheezes
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I’m editing the old chapters of WBTL again. The fourth chapter, and oh my goodness Ángel is so insensitive, it’s insane.
#Personal#Was Born To Lead#He’s not letting me cheat 👍🏻#We have enough time to make cribs 👍🏻#I offended you but you know you offended me too 👍🏻#He’s (Señor Bravo) so awful 👍🏻#And if we’re being honest Ángel is still insensitive :’D#And I sure thing already edited the first three chapters too and once again Roberto is the worst <3#Ajhdnfj I feel like I used to be better at writing ‘bad’ characters#Now they all are too wise and thoughtful ajjdkf#I can’t believe I legit named Ángel Ángel because of that angelic personality pun and now I realize it’s actually extremely bad#and just makes zero sense#Anyway I’m editing again because first I have no energy to write the new chapter#second I need to edit punctuation marks because I formatted dialogues wrong all that time#so yeah I’m just peacefully changing points to commas and vice versa#and third I certainly need to make some stylistic changes because those horrible he feels upset fill my heart with sorrow#And random but Señor Bravo calling his students Señor/Señorita also makes zero sense?#I just really don’t know whether it’s appropriate to do it in Hispanic countries?#I mean I’m sure I heard it in some American movies that the teachers call their students Mister and Missis#but Señor Núñez and Señorita Aakster when referred to little kids sounds odd to me#Although Señor Bravo basically was the only one who referred to them like that so maybe it could be explained by his age#but I already changed it to their names it sounds more natural to me so I won’t think about it anymore#Hm but you know in my uni my teachers call us ‘colleagues’#which also sounds odd aihdkf#What is the name of our new history teacher?#Valerio Álvarez#<3
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