#I thought I did but I couldn't find the panel I wanted to reference

[in-asterism]

wheee

[mishy-mashy]

Shinomori is actually the weird one

Horikoshi said he had detailed backstories for all the OFA users. He just wanted to hint and imply at what he already had, in a way you could breeze over it, and draw the connections yourself.

Examples include little hints like how Bruce mentions being with Kudo from the very start of their opposition. Or how Kudo hints at heartless decisions they made, or how many lives they took in a straight goal, where survival became victory. (Another parallel with Bakugo, where Bakugo wanted to be someone who always wins—and on Kudo's side, that means survival, but THIS ISN'T ABOUT KUDO)

Or the small corner of a panel where Banjo's arm breaking like Midoriya's, showing that Shinomori made OFA too strong. Or how Garaki saved AFO from never being able to find Yoichi again, on Shinomori's turn. Shinomori's turn should've been the end of AFO's chase, if not near it, since AFO was starting to grow old until Garaki appeared.

Little hints to whole backstories.

Shinomori only has one scene in the whole animal where we actually see him talk more than a line or a glance. And that's his self-introduction.

I want to talk about his line, [Mine was a terrible era. Everyone was a weirdo, except me.]

During his introduction, Shinomori says that One For All can't be passed on to a normal person anymore.

Since we, as the viewer, are watching from a time where Quirks are the norm, what Shinomori said doesn't stand out at all. Even Midoriya doesn't get confused.

The normal person to Midoriya is a Quirked person. That's what the viewer thinks too; Quirks are normal.

But consider that Shinomori is talking about - and from - the past as he explains who he is and what he did. Put your perspective in that time period.

Quirks were not normal. Metas were not normal. The norm was to have no Meta, even if more and more Meta Humans are popping up.

Shinomori actually thinks that Meta Humans were normal, and that non-Meta Humans were weirdos. This was during a time where everyone thought the opposite, and that Meta Humans were monsters.

"One For All cannot be wielded by a normal person." meaning normal, Quirked people. He thought Quirked people were normal from the start

"I was the only normal one. Everyone else were weirdos." and it's because everyone else was weird, and in a terrible time, that Shinomori went into hiding

Shinomori is actually self-centered in a way; he views himself as normal, and can't understand the perspective of other weirdos (non-Metas)

By self-centered, I mean like kids do developmentally-wise.

Kids first learn about the world only from their own perspective. They don't comprehend that others can have their own feelings, opinions, or feel pain.

Kids are self-centered because they only know their own perspective, and can't understand anyone else's. It doesn't occur to them to view the world any other way.

Shinomori is like that. Metapowers are normal to him. To him, the others who view Meta Humans as wrong, and the people who aren't Meta, they're the weirdos.

He can't understand them.

Shinomori blatantly referring to Quirked people as "normal" even catches Midoriya off-guard. Because for a minute, Midoriya doesn't know what concept of "normal" that Shinomori is using.

Japan was imploding on itself and in a Depression, and Shinomori's only takeaway during his era is who's weird and who's not.

"Mine was a terrible era. Everyone was a weirdo except me."

This is his only takeaway. Or, the only thing he focused on during this time.

And at first glance, that's shallow. Until you realize that Shinomori's main takeaway was that he couldn't conform.

But to him, it's that the others couldn't conform to Metapowers. He couldn't understand the people around him, and saw them as strange for that.

Since he's his own idea of the norm, he doesn't view himself - an Ability wielder - as an outlier.

His only solution to the society that was at ends, even with AFO's presence reigning, was to seclude himself.

That way, he'd be the only person in his own world—a world of only Meta Humans.

Shinomori was a hermit, not because of AFO, but because he didn't like society

To bring back this panel,

And bring up this, too,

Shinomori doesn't say he went into hiding for OFA. He agrees with Banjo's statement that he just didn't like society, and went to live off-radar. He cites the reason he did that: people were strange to him.

A time where people protested Meta Humans, at that. Non-Metas were scared of Metas, and those Metas didn't even want to be Metas. Those were the people back then.

He only says he evaded AFO, which would be easier to do with Danger Sense. And AFO didn't need many sensory Abilities back then, because he wasn't blind

So Shinomori didn't like society, and left it. Then he had OFA, and while still a hermit, starts building up that power while avoiding people even more.

Since Banjo managed to find Shinomori when these were the conditions, that means Banjo had no ill intent, and posed no danger or threat. That allowed Banjo to find Shinomori, without either intending to meet.

Must've been a jumpscare, actually. I like thinking Banjo's face just erupted from foliage, and Shinomori let out a bitch-on-falsetto shriek.

The fact Shinomori was already a hermit before OFA, also confirms that Bruce found him in the forest.

My theory is that Bruce and Shinomori knew each other beforehand. That's why Bruce could find him. Bruce, who spent time in cities, managed to find a single man who hides in forests.

(These posts (1) (2) speculate about Bruce and Shinomori's relationship, and Bruce choosing his successor)

Shinomori thought the world couldn't keep up with Metahumans (his normal), and still thinks that way in death. When he explains OFA, he refers to "normal people", that Midoriya has to piece together he means Quirked people.

Midoriya, who grew up where Quirks are normal, easily adopts the way Shinomori thinks of it, but on the surface level of only knowing what Shinomori was saying about the now.

Summary: Shinomori is the weird one, for viewing Metas as normal when everyone else believed differently. His belief of Abilities being normal endures from the Advent of the Paranormal, up to his afterlife as a vestige.

When Metas were abnormal, he saw it differently: Metas are normal, and those who can't accept Metas, or aren't Metas themselves, are outliers.

"They were the weirdos. Not me."

-

Side note, about the above panel

Notably, when talking about what a "normal person" is, we're looking at Nana, Yoichi, and All Might.

Nana, who looked at the strange, funny teenager Toshinori, and decided to give the Quirkless boy a Quirk; "normal", as a Quirked person in her time. She made All Might "normal" (though fitting in wasn't her intent, because they both knew All Might always intended to stand at the top), because he was a strange boy, and she liked that.

Yoichi, who grew up believing he was Meta-less, and had stockpiling forced by AFO to conform to his beliefs. An original Meta-less person, who was "normal" in his time.

And All Might, who was Quirkless, but with OFA, became "normal".

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #25

They said it couldn't be done. Haters said I would NEVER catch back up to the book club schedule. WELL GUESS WHAT SUCKERS!!! YA BOI IS ALMOST ON WINTER BREAK AND THEN I CAN READ AS MANY DUCK COMICS AS I WANT!!!!!! Anyways today is the second PKNA Special Issue: Zero Slash One which is another fun collection of short stories where NOTHING SAD HAPPENS! (ignore the thumbnail image)

Extra long post warning my dumbass hit the image limit

Shoutout to this special indented cover of PK's eyes that probably looks really cool in person but when scanned like this is just. White.

Literally only 3 pages in and I have no idea how I'm NOT supposed to read this dialogue like they're having a tragic breakup

HE'S JUST REALLY SMALL AND SCARED. AND SMALL. HE WAS BORN IN A WET CARDBOARD BOX ALL ALONE!!! AND ALIENS ARE SCARY.

Ok so the first time I read this comic I was like "who the FUCK is Archie" completely forgetting that Gyro's Italian name is Archimede Pitagorico (fucking insane name btw). Anyways imagine if this comic was about Archie from Darkwing Duck they should introduce him into the lore I think

Replacing the guy that builds robots with two actual robots is crazyyy

He thought he was gonna have to break up with Gyro but GYRO is breaking up with HIM, RIP bozo

First of all. I am so sad. Second of all, I know WHY it had to be done but I can't deny that it's kinda funny for Uno to enter Donald's life and then IMMEDIATELY hit up his other friend like "he can't hang out with you anymore" like DAMN 😭 and then his argument in the present that's basically like "you can't leave me you already left Gyro!" like I KNOW that Uno is just trying to explain to Donald that he shouldn't let his fear ruin all his relationships but if this story had taken a more sinister turn it could look like Uno is trying to cut him off from other people which is NUTS.

But we already have so many memories in common! Like that time we fought aliens together, that time we fought aliens together, that time we fought alie

THE SNOOZERRRRRR

THE SNOOZERRRRRR (part 2)

I love how they're acting so shocked that someone could have possibly become aware of the 151st floor when all you have to do to find it is just. count the floors on the tower. You think Everett would try to camouflage it or make it look like it's just one bigger floor at the top 😭

Again, should that not be active all the time? Like as part of the tower's design?

Plan B: Act like a fellow old person Plan C: Dress in drag Plan D: Stefan Vladuck cosplay Plan E: Give him head trauma

DONALD'S FACE 😭😭😭 I love this comic it's so stupid

HOLY SHIT TRIPLET SIGHTING!!!! In photo form but y'know

(walrus) Man.

dude he's fucking ascending

hrgnhghh.... burber

WELL THAT'S NOT HORRIFYING AT ALL

GOOOO DONALD PROTECT ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WE NEVER GET TO SEE IN THIS SERIES!!!!!

No comment I just think people should look at this panel

Hey look it's Daisy hahaaaAAAAH AAAAH GLADSTONE JUMPSCARE!!! I THOUGHT I WAS SAFE FROM YOU IN THIS SERIES YOU FUCKER!!!!! GET OFF THE PAGE

WHY ARE ALL THESE STORIES DEPRESSING I'M NOT HAVING FUN ANYMORE

Uno that is NOT the response you what to give to someone who just confided in you about a traumatic experience 💀

:(

Nvm he ruined it by saying he cares about his car more LMAOOO

But I have a face :(((

DAMN DONALD TORE HIM UP

It's the PANELLL I hate this I hate them... affection for a duck. corny ass

Also does anyone else find it interesting that Uno can't understand how someone could feel affection towards a machine given. Y'know... like take a look in the mirror? (Though he did just refer to himself as THE machine so he probably just thinks of himself as above that status) ANYWAYS I'm going to choose to ignore that fact, Uno thinks he's not worthy of love this is so sad you guys

NEVERMIND THE DIVORCE IS OFF WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK BABY!!! 🎉🎉🎉

So we finally got some explanations for why certain Duckverse characters aren't present in this series and they're ALL sad. PK doesn't hang out with Gyro anymore cause he's worried about his safety bringing him into the world of aliens and time travel and shit. Also Daisy isn't dating him anymore because he has to spend all his time fighting aliens, not that SHE knows that of course. Like WHAT. THIS IS SO DEPRESSING I AM SO SAD!!! Like sure Donald has NEW friends now but :( and also the triplets are in AFRICA!!! Sometimes. I think they're home now but it's not like we ever see them.

At least he has Uno and Lyla and Xadhoom and the Raider and NOTHING BAD WILL EVER HAPPEN TO ANY OF THESE NEW CHARACTERS!!!!!!!

[nancynancydrewdrewdrew]

Noisette is Bad at Making Treasure Hunts

I'm really not sure if Noisette actually wanted anyone to find her treasure, or if she still harbored a ton of resentment and fear towards the city and wanted to clear her conscious before death by making it appear that she had done the work to ensure it would be found without actually making it possible for someone to do so. If she really wanted the stained glass to be returned, she could have just written in her will "the stained glass is in xyz, please give it back the following places:"

Instead, if her goal really was to have someone find the hidden stained glass after she died (as she states in the game in her final letter) she was bad at following through on her goals. The fact that Nancy was able to do so is due to so many contrived coincidences that would completely make it impossible for her treasure to be found in the real world. To find her treasure you need:

a) access to her moulin. This is in IMO her stupidest move in the whole game, she was director of public works (or something like that) and instead of trusting the moulin to the city when she died she did nothing and let it go to auction to a private buyer. Literally the only person in the entire game who gives a shit about her and the treasure (Lynn Manrique) can't do anything to find it bc Noisette didn't ensure that the treasure would be accessible to the public

okay, so maybe she intended for whoever purchased the moulin to find her treasure. Nope! because...

(Okay, I have a lot of thoughts here and this ended up being really long so the rest is under the cut!)

b) you would also need access to another completely private residence, Hans's old apartment. Nancy is lucky that Dieter still lives there and he works in the fashion industry, which coincidentally the owner of the moulin is in. But what are the odds of that?? Also, it states in the game that Hans went to Germany after the war and never returned to Paris. So did he just hang on to an empty apartment that whole time or did Dieter randomly end up in the same apartment as his grandpa? Paris was fine with a German soldier occupying an apartment during the war and never wanted to re-allocate it afterwards?

okay, so there's someone that has access to the moulin and Hans's apartment, they can find the treasure, right? Nope!

c) you need a very specific mechanic key to open the panel in the apartment wall. A key that for some reason only Hans had? She never spoke to him again after the war, so I'm assuming in order to hide her diary afterwards she had her own key, but that's not a part of the treasure hunt or clues at all. Nancy got Hans's key out of pure coincidence, so how was someone else supposed to open the panel? okay, someone living there managed to open the panel, maybe some construction workers discovered it during renovations. So can they find the treasure? No! d) The panel is locked, and you need to 1. know that the hazelnut symbol refers to Noisette and 2. know her life story to the point that you'd know her life fell to shit in 1945. if you weren't connected to the mystery, good luck!

So you made it in the panel, you have her diary, and you have the paper with the eyes. That doesn't help at all unless you...

e) know what Noisette's last words were! If that was an important clue, why not write it down somewhere??

also...

f) YOU NEED A FRENCH RESISTANCE WWII DECODER. Noisette was said to have died recently when the game came out in 2006. You're telling me that in the sixty years between the end of the war and her death she never once noticed that no one has one of those just lying around? She couldn't have changed that step or at least hidden "ma cherie" in one of the lock boxes? In the game we get incredibly lucky that we just randomly stumble on one, and even in that case it's known to be so rare that we need to jump through hoops to get it.

That's all well and good, but there's more! g) you need to be able bodied enough to use ladders, swim through tunnels, and more. And you also have to be willing to break the law and go into restricted areas of the catacombs, AND swim through flooded areas?? of the catacombs?? where they have dead bodies?? who would do that?? h) once you do that, you need to have a working knowledge of the metro system, otherwise you need to go back and do it all twice. And that's assuming that there are no line changes or renames in the time between making the puzzle and someone finding it! You also have to hope that no one has made any changes to the art in the park in that timeframe

Okay it took a while but you found the treasure!!

I) Now you're locked in so you better hope you know how to use the code she likes to get out, otherwise you're stuck there forever and you're dead. If you didn't pick up a random code book while visiting the park, sorry!

This ended up quite long, but my overall point is that it would be completely asinine to assume anyone would be able to discover the treasure. Even Nancy finding it was contingent on a ton of random coincidences and deus ex machinas that would be unreplicable in the real world. I love the puzzles and the vibes of this game but the I hate the plot and after writing this I'm realizing how much I really hate Noisette as a person lol

[pynchkilledme]

One Day at a Time ✧ Yunho

✧ Pairings: Jeong Yunho X fem!reader ✧ Genre: angst; ✧ Word Count: 3.3k ✧ CW: established relationship; major character death; mentions of suicide; depressive thoughts; ghost encounter (kind of); ✧ Synopsis: When an accident changes the course of your life forever, your husband takes his last days on Earth to make you love life again.

[Author's Note]: Hello! It's my first time posting my work here so I hope you appreciate it. This oneshot started as a simple writing exercise, but I fell in love with it and decided to share it with the world. If you find any typo or you think something more should enter the content warning section please let me know.

The poorly lit road that leads to your summer house in the mountains always made you apprehensive, but on this rainy night, you couldn't stop your hand from sweating and every little thing made your tension grow.

The lampposts half hidden by the forest, the foggy windshield, the radio buzzing without signal, the heavy raindrops on the car hood; all these made you lean over the panel, trying to predict any abnormality on the road, even though it wasn't your turn to drive.

Yunho, behind the wheel, seemed perfectly calm. Almost like he had prepared himself through all his life, just to drive old cars on stormy days. 

“Hey… chill out” he said while passing his right hand on your thigh between gear changes “,we are almost there!”

And that was the last sentence before that curve. The last words before a sudden flash blinds you.

“Hello, how are we feeling today?”  the blonde woman inside your computer screen promptly asks as soon as you open your camera, but your sunken eyes give her the answer she needed. “Dreamt about the accident again?

It’s been 9 months and 18 days since the accident. 9 months and 4 days since you woke up in a hospital bed just to find out you would never hear your husband's sweet voice again.

“I know I said I was getting better and almost never had nightmares, but in the last 3 days…” you begin to describe in detail what makes your dream more and more real, waking you up out of breath every single morning.

Your monologue follows for a couple more minutes, remembering the sensation of Yunho’s arm holding your body against the seat instinctively. The doctors said the seatbelt would already prevent a fatal impact in your case, since the collision happened in the driver's side, but for you, that single gesture had saved you.

“Sometimes I wish I didn't come out alive” you dropped without thinking twice. After all, that’s what the two therapy sessions a week were for “I could be with him now, wherever he is!”

“I’m pretty sure that's not something he would want, Y/N” something in that soothing voice made you want to cry and you could already feel a lump up your throat “it’s a long process, painful and irregular, but…”

“You know, I think at this point he doesn't have to like anything” your crooked laugh mixed up with the teardrops flowing discreetly by the side of your face “It’s all too quiet, too boring, too empty!”

“And how is your adaptation to your medication?” Susanna referred you to a psychiatrist around 3 months ago and you were finally out of the sickening phase of the medication.

“Well, I didn’t kill myself yet!” acid humor was your way of dealing with all this situation, but of course your therapist did not approve 100% of your methods “I think it's finally stabilizing in the right dose, I’m already quitting the complementary medicines!”

“It’s awesome to hear that, Y/N! Soon you will be able to see everything more clearly” looking down, your therapist took notes. ‘You just need time to do its work’ you completed in your mind. Damn time. “Our time is up, see you on Thursday at 3pm?”

You nod your head yes and kiss her goodbye, going back to your loneliness as soon as the video call disappears from the screen. Seated there, in the kitchen of the house you bought together with such hard work, the feeling was overwhelming. You even thought about moving out, but leaving your memories behind didn't seem right to you.

Whether you want it or not, Yunho was in every detail of that house. The colors on the walls that you chose together; the funny food illustrations hang in the kitchen; the office in a mix of games, books, Spider-Man (his obsession) and sad movies' posters (your obsession). A penetrable structure of everything that you were together, everything your love conquered and dreamed of conquering. Structure that, despite being packed with all sorts of things, each day felt more abandoned and lifeless.

Without anyone humming made up songs; without anyone laughing out loud of a video they just sent you; without almost ineligible messages in the fridge door and without anyone pulling you to dance to the cheesiest songs ever written. It was an endless list of things that were and would never be again. Things that only made sense because of Yunho and that had gone away with him.

The thoughts were so suffocating that you didn't even realize you were standing there for 15 minutes, in front of the notebook screen, screen that was already black due to the lack of interaction. It was when you finally gathered your strength to stand up, closing the notebook on the kitchen table and going to the sofa.

Your days were mostly like that. Sometimes laying down in your bed when you couldn't get up, other times you could at least drag yourself to the sofa, changing the atmosphere a little.

Your friends started a rotation where at least one of them called you every day, but you couldn't keep a conversation for too long anyways. It always ended up in tears and you didn't like to be a burden to them, so you started making up things to do, be it an imaginary food in the oven or an hypothetical postman ringing your doorbell. Not that they believed you, but they decided that it was better to give you space.

About 3 weeks ago Susanna asked you to do a "homework" for the next session, a request that became more and more latent in your head as Yunho's birthday approaches. You couldn't convince yourself to do it, not when the exercise to deal with the grief involved writing a letter to your husband.  One he would never read.

The estrangement also came from the fact that it didn't seem natural for you to write letters. The last letter you wrote was telling how your vacation was in 2006, on the first day back to kindergarten classes. 'Does email reach heaven?' you thought, giggling. If Yunho was here, he would probably suggest the simplest way possible to solve this. 'Send me a SMS' would be his first advice. 'If you have no data you could try via messenger, honey' he would say mockingly, but it would be solved.

Without a second thought you searched for your cell phone under the blankets. In your lockscreen a picture of the day you decided to take the train to the other side of town, just to visit a library that someone told Yunho sold coffee and a corn cake fit for the gods. After a few seconds of contemplating, you unlocked it and the screen opened directly on the bright wallpaper of Yunho’s chat. You had done that a billion times before, but you could never go past the last message. A picture of his passenger seat covered with 8 boxes of your favorite candy and an audio right above.

It was a 13 second audio and even so you couldn't press the play button.

'You just need a little courage…' your thoughts were interrupted by a weird noise in the back of the house, and you got up to search for it. The backdoor was locked, so you unlocked it just to take a peek out there. But there was nothing besides overgrown grass.

The sound of a door slamming and someone laughing broke the silence of the house.

‘Honey, you won't believe…’ that sound was enough to make everything around you stop in time. It was his voice. ‘I got into this store and your favorite candy was on sale!! Buy 3, get 1 free!’

The screen of your phone was bright on the sofa, showing the audio that just played. You didn't understand how, but while your tears flowed you just wanted to hear it again. And that's what you did. Over and over again.

In the audio before that, Yunho apologized for forgetting to fill the water bottles, but promised to reward you with kisses. All you wanted most was that everything got solved with the shower of kisses that Yunho always gave you when he got back from work, but it was impossible and in your subconscious you just wanted to scream.

“Why did you leave me here?” you said softly, against your impulses. When you closed your eyes, you tried to control your breathing, before all that ended up in crisis.

“I swear I tried to stay, Y/N” said the sweetest voice you’ve ever heard. The voice that made you shake with nervousness when you were just getting to know each other, and the voice that made you cry from happiness when proposed to you. A voice that only existed in your head and in the 2G of memory that your chat with Yunho occupied in your cell phone. Or at least you thought.

“But I’m here now…” this time the voice sounded almost real and a shiver went up your spine. An inexplicable fear of opening your eyes and realizing it was only your fertile imagination. “I was always here!”

You couldn't believe the trick your head was playing on you. Yunho, with his 1.85cm, was standing in front of you. His brown hair parted in the middle, falling over his tired eyes; the long sleeved white shirt you ironed in the morning of the accident was intact, fitting perfectly on Yunho’s body.

You couldn’t believe it, but you wanted to. Your body relaxed, leaning on the sofa. Your shaking hand inevitably covering your mouth, as if any uttered word could make it all disappear. That man, who you knew by the back of your hand, kneeled in front of you, his eyes sadly smiling, like someone who mourns.

“Are you going for a ‘Ghost’s’ remake?” you said jokingly, still unsure of what was all that. Yunho seemed exhausted, as if he didn't sleep for days, but he gave you a crooked smile showing he understood what you were talking about.

“Are you saying I’m as pretty as Patrick Swayze?” his hand on his chest showed he was flattered. Of course he was pretty. Even prettier than the actor and his answer made you laugh a little, releasing all the tears you were holding back.

You raised your hand to reach him, but they trembled as if electric shocks ran through your veins. He brought his hands under yours and you could see how your hands were smaller next to his, but you couldn't feel anything. This just intensified your cry, because all you wanted was his touch.

“I’m sorry that we can’t feel each other,” he said quietly, getting closer to you. - “I wish I could wipe away your tears and say that everything will be fine”

You didn’t know what was happening, but the voice that had always the power to soothe you wouldn’t have a different effect now. Your breath slowly returned to normal and you used your wristband to clean whatever was running from your nose. So many questions in your head, but for a while you just wanted to absorb every little detail of what was in front of you, just like the first time you saw him. 

“I found out that you needed to talk to me,” Yunho jokes. Your mind was quite funny today.

“Well, it wasn’t- how are you even here?”

“I was always here, Y/N” tilted his head to the side, closing his lips in an almost unnoticeable smile “you just couldn't see me”

“And why now? A-am I dreaming?”

“Well, you can see me now ‘cause I kind of convinced the ones up there to let me help you. My time here is almost over and I started to feel a little desperate because nothing I did was actually working and-” the way he started to babble was too real even for a creation of your mind.

“How come… it wasn’t working? What were you doing here?”

“Uhm, I kind of couldn't let you here, not when everything around you was so gray. They said I couldn't be here past my birthday, ‘cause that would bring me problems and then I passed the last 9 months trying to push you out of bed, opening the windows so the sun could come in,'' now Yunho was the one crying and it was impossible to ignore the pain in his voice “it's been so hard to show you how life is still pretty… how there's a lot of things to live out there!”

It had become evident to you a long time ago how life wasn't worth it without Yunho in it. And well, it came to you way before he couldn't actually be there.

You remember like it was yesterday the path your bare feet made through the white clover lawn. A simple altar in the end of a corridor of mismatched chairs reunited the most important people of your life. On the sides your friends, the family life gave you, and in the middle your soulmate. The one on the other side of your red string and from that moment would be your forever.

You could see through your wedding veil how Yunho was beaming from ear to ear, his eyes resting on his red cheeks. You felt like running to the altar, so you could be by his side as soon as possible, but you held back as you smiled at your few guests, mostly from your families, who smiled at you with teary eyes. 

When you finally got to the altar and raised your dress a little, Yunho looked at your dirty feet and laughed. And when he lifted your veil, your eyes connected just like when the two of you first met at college, as if there was a new constellation of possibilities. “You look like an angel” Yunho whispered tenderly and then you turned so the ceremony could follow.

“But I miss you. I miss you ‘cause you are in absolutely everything. Your smell is in the clothes hanging in the closet, your smile is all over the pictures on the walls. I hear you when I turn the radio on your favorite program and I see you when I wipe the mirror clean. My mind is always bringing you back to me as if it tortured me with your absence, as if it reminded me all that time that I can’t have you.”

He didn't say anything, just stared. His wrinkled forehead and lips so tight they turned white, denouncing the pain you both shared.

“There’s so many things I should live with you, so many places we would visit. It 's not fair! It’s not fair that the sweetest person I've ever met is not here to appreciate every second of the most banal things in the world…” the venting went out of your mouth like a thunderstorm. You wanted to scream and cry, but also wanted to utter the most beautiful words ever created.

Yunho wanted to touch you. Wanted to feel your soft skin one more time, caress your face and wipe away your tears. The ache he felt seeing you suffer was bigger than any physical pain he had ever felt in his 28 years of life. It felt like his heart was being crushed and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“We will never-” your voice fails with the thought. The matter that hurts you the most every time you think about your future. A dream that will never come true, at least not in this life. “I will never know what it would be like to have a family with you…”

“But we were a family, love! Nothing will ever change that”

“But I will never know what it's like to be a mother, Yu! I will never know what it is to look in the eyes of the purest form of love we could create. I won’t see you become a father and I won’t know how your eyes and my nose combined would look like in this little being.”

And suddenly he didn't know what more to say. He knew how much of a dream that was to you and how that specific wound would never heal with time. He knew that even though you could deal better with his absence one day, your heart would never get used to the impossibilities of the future. The part of you and of your dream that would go away with him, leaving a bitter taste behind.

“I am so sorry, honey. And I know that nothing I say will make this hurt stop. And it's gonna be tough, almost impossible, for a long time, but one day it will be less painful. And the next day less and less, till a day it will be just a little piece of your heart” the words barely came out of Yunho’s mouth and you already  imagined how it would be to not feel anything at all. Never feel the thrill of a joyful day again if it meant you wouldn’t feel not even a second more of that pain.

“If you can't do this for you right now, please, do it for me. Live one day at a time, holding to the monotony of a routine till everything gets more tolerable,” you could see his hands caressing your thigh. “You're so strong, my love! One of the strongest people I've met. You gave me the best days of my life without much effort! Your smile brightened every moment, even when everything around was cloudy. My life was the most beautiful and the most complete with you and, despite being short, I wouldn’t change a second of it to live more if it meant not having you.”

At this point you tried to hold back your tears and a huge knot clung to your throat. Would you be able to do it for him? One last request that only you could fulfill?

“Promise me that you will try and I promise to meet you again. I promise to follow each of your steps regardless of how long it takes. I promise to find you in our next life, even if our thread gets tangled and the path becomes longer. I promise that this won’t be the last life we share,” you closed your eyes pondering if you could keep that promise. “Promise you will live everything you can live, always remembering I will be by your side”

Yunho raised his hand so he could place it over your heart. He didn't want to go, but he needed to. He just needed you to promise.

“I-I promise I will try” your voice was like a whisper and your fists clenched, your nails marking the palm of your hand as if it could remind you that this was real.

With your eyes closed you could feel soft lips touching your forehead. “I love you forever, Y/N '' this time his voice sounded like a thought.

When you opened your eyes, your living room was empty again. The wall was yellow with a small beam of light coming from the window. It looks like it's just you once again. The cell phone vibrated by your side and you picked it up to see the notification, but there was nothing. When you unlocked the screen and the white wallpaper of your chat lit up your face, you could see the selected message from 1 year ago.

[Yuyu]: I LOVE YOU FOREVEEEEER!!!

You were not alone and would never be. “Love you more, Yu” you thought while you brought the phone close to your heart. Maybe you could even live. 

One day at a time.

© pynchkilledme 2024 - all rights reserved, do not copy or post without permission.

[witch-of-the-world]

The Other Way Around

(What happened just before Macaque's debut)

Macaque stepped out of the shower, flicking his ears up to rid them of water and rubbing the towel across his shoulders.

He'd finally gotten rid of the smell of corpse. When they'd first woken him, he'd been wild, panicked. Death was disorienting, and being brought back from it several times as much.

But now his head was clear. He was already beginning to plan out exactly how he was going to get back at Wukong.

He'd been lucky to find an abandoned apartment that still had running water. Luckier still that said abandoned apartment was above an abandoned theater. He was oddly comforted by that. Perhaps it was a sign that he was on the right track.

If he believed in signs, which he wasn't entirely sure he did.

After drying himself off, he tossed the towel onto the empty bedframe in the corner of the apartment. Uncaring about modesty in the safety of the abandoned building, he opened the door and strolled down the hall to the barely-functioning washer and dryer at the end.

Right as he got to it, the dryer buzzed loudly. He covered his ears, flinching for a moment. The world certainly was a lot noisier now.

But he'd learned as he always had. There were fast carriages called cars and bright light-boxes playing stage shows called televisions. And there were machines that would wash and dry your clothes for you while you were in the shower.

He opened the door to the dryer and pulled out his clothes, bundling them in one arm and heading back to the apartment he'd chosen. Shutting and locking the door behind him, he held them up to his face, inhaling deeply to make sure the smell was off of them too. The washer had overflowed horribly after he'd made the mistake of scraping shavings of body soap into it, but now both he and the clothes were clean, smelling faintly of spices.

He wrapped the outfit around himself, and as he was about to fasten it, a thought occurred to him.

Guess I better wear it the other way around, huh?

He switched the front panels, so that the right side lay on top. It felt wrong, but he knew it was probably right. He'd been dead, hadn't he?

Dead.

He'd really been dead.

The memories were fuzzy, scrambled. Nothing came clearly to him when he tried to remember it. He was beginning to think that was a good thing. He wasn't sure he wanted to remember his own death. He got enough nightmares as it was.

But it had been made abundantly clear to him who was responsible.

It was eerie, the way she'd spoken through that man. The only way she could speak from where she was, as she had said.

Her. The one who'd brought him back.

She had told him a lot. She had been quite firm that any betrayal would be met with severe punishment. She had instructed him to wait, for now.

But he knew he couldn't wait. Hatred burned in his heart for the person he had once loved most in the world. And he knew, from his listening, that now was the right time to strike back at him.

He had a successor. A boy who had taken the title of “Monkie Kid”. Who was still, Macaque could tell, in the early stages of his training.

Which meant he could be manipulated.

It meant going back to Flower-Fruit Mountain. Not that he planned to stick around much. But he needed to see just how much the boy respected Wukong so far. Then he'd know how to get between their relationship.

He chuckled to himself. He was so used to being referred to as the quiet one. The one who just followed Wukong around and never made suggestions of his own. The few times he had, his sworn brothers had been shocked at just how devious he could really be.

He hadn't even thought of it as “deviousness” or “playing dirty” at first. If there was something they wanted, there were easy ways to get to it. It was simple. Why did so many people like to complicate things?

He made sure his clothes were in place, summoned his shadow staff and placed it on his back, and slipped through a shadow portal.

When he returned some hours later, he was almost giggling with glee.

This was too perfect. Wukong had the kid smashing a mural instead of training. The boy was already complaining, and Wukong had said there would be more work done tomorrow. The cracks were already there.

All he had to do was slip into the right role.

It didn't take him long to plan out how he would get to the boy. By the time he finished eating the ripe plums he'd swiped from the mountain, he had already worked it all out in his mind.

She'd told him to wait, but he couldn't. Anyway, why wait much longer? He knew that her plan to bring the key that would release her and the door that held her back together had already played out. He knew she was free. The thought scared him a little, but at the same time, wouldn't it be better for both of them if he already had an in? If that successor—and maybe even Wukong himself—was already dealt with?

Not bothering with the bedframe, he spread the blanket he'd procured out on the floor and lay down. Tomorrow. There was a lot to do tomorrow. He was usually a night owl, staying up until the wee hours of the morning at times, but he'd have to be up with the sun to get it all done.

As he lay down and closed his eyes, he pushed out the sounds of the city. Cars. People. Hundreds of thousands of noises.

Thunder.

His ears twitched. There was a thunderstorm. On the edge of the city. Most likely there was cropland there. He'd heard something about a “weather station” that controlled the city's weather, but there had been an awful lot of information to take in all at once.

What an annoying thing, thunder.

But tonight, after going back to the mountain, he couldn't help but think of what it used to be.

When he was very, very young, he used to be terrified of thunder. Back then it was the loudest thing his sensitive ears had ever heard. He would hide deep in the recesses of a cave, hide from the sound. Cover his ears and cry.

And Wukong would be there too.

Well before he was ever king, back when he had a name no better than “Stone”, he would sit by Macaque's side during thunderstorms.

Hold him.

Help cover his ears.

The thunderstorms still brought panic and tears, but his presence had helped.

He didn't know when he had grown out of it. His life stretched back so far and it was so, so complicated. As he'd grown, gained control of his powers, he'd learned how to block things out. Now only sudden, unexpected noises got to him.

But the rolls of thunder on the edge of the city brought him back to that cave. To his absolute terror, and to Wukong's comforting arms.

Wukong.

It was all his fault. Why could he never just listen? Why did he have to...

Why, why, WHY?

He rolled over in a huff, simmering with anger.

It could have been so easy. They could have had everything. Just like he promised.

Just like he'd always promised.

But he'd gone back on that promise. Betrayed his truest friend.

Well, he would see. He would see just what Macaque could do now. He would see.

What if he apologizes?

Macaque squashed that thought quickly. No way. There was absolutely no way that Sun Wukong would apologize to him.

And even if he did, it wouldn't be enough.

Besides, with her at his back...

There was only one way. Only one way to settle his mind, and more importantly, only one way to survive.

Manipulate the boy. Take his power. Kill him.

Kill Wukong.

He shut out the last of the sounds and fell into the depths of sleep.

[skyland2703]

Just gonna toss some random PR at you and see what sticks now that you're out of hibernation:

MMPR #121 is out and I....hate it:

I really, really, really want to be happy that we get to see Adam and Rocky and some character development in the wake of their possession, and get an entire issue based around Billy, but it all really just goes downhill from here. The only nice thing I can say is that Hendry Prasetya's art has gotten very smooth and I quite like it compared to previous chapters.

However, revisiting old Dual MM and PR chapters has made me happy finding little gold nuggets around that actually speak to true personality:

Next to Dan Mora, Marco Renna mighty be my favorite artist for this series. At least I can stand to look at Zedd with this style.

And also: THIS ☝🏿☝🏿 I miss this kind of thing.

I know we've all had fun throwing rocks at the Eltarian War Arc, but I cannot be the only one that sees the VERY EASILY streamlined version of events where this would have been perfect for Identity Reveal, Action Survivor, Big Damn Heroes, Big Ego/Hidden Depths, The Chosen Zero, Karmic Jackpot, Kleptomaniac Hero, Chekhov's Gun, Everything is Trying to Kill You, Strolling Through the Chaos, and an Establishing Character Moment tropes for...our babies Q_Q Honestly, so much fanfic possibility. Wish I could figure out how to make it work...

Also, just random pics of the minions being CUTE.

AYIYIYIYIYIHFRBHJTFBRVDCENDFR

This is the best thing i could've gotten coming out of hibernation, tbh. THANK YOU.

what the FUCK have they done with Billy's HAIR. Why do they look like THAT. (They've drawn Adam and Rocky beautifully but wtf billy.)

Feeling SO bad for adam and rocky they look BROKEN 🥺

Who's the lady in red?? Is she a ghost?? Can nobody else see her??

Zedd looks very overconfident, and is talking about how overconfidence will be the end of them... hmmmmmmmmm

i really like Zedd's art style! Marco Renna does a GOOD JOB O.O

But seriously wtf was that with Billy's hair.

i think i screamed at this. THIS IS CHARACTER <3

7. THEY HAVE AN EXECUTION ORDER TO MELT ALPHA???? i know it's supposed to be a serious scene but THAT many eltarian soldiers for one alpha, it's making me laugh awdhydfsvfadwfrgt 8. BULK AND SKULL BULK AND SKULLLLLLL!!!!!!!! HELLO BABIES!!! I love this style for them, they look so CUTE and smushable and cheek-pullable. Skull being depressed about Candace and bulk distracting him and cheering him up AND THE WAY THEY RUUUUNNNNN *wipes stray tear from eye* BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN <3

9. who is this man. why does he look like that girl from hinger games. 10. did they melt the alpha yet??

11. THIS ART STYLE. FOR THEM. YOUR HONOR I LOVE THIS PANEL (and they're shooting Matt. Lol i love that) 12. The empyreals?? IS THAT A BLUE KATAPPA 13. Jailbreak blue lady is Candace, I assume?? (She'd have looked prettier with blue hair, tbh. Why couldn't they just make zordon the bald eltarian. Why'd they have to make ALL ELTARIANS bald????) 14. Bulk and Skull are literally interviewing aliens. I don’t know how amazing THAT is, but also i cant stop laughing at the image of Mr. Blue katappa in my head.

For reference, this is Katappa.

Angry old general man who is one of the biggest memes here.

15. ERNIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 16. "Honestly, so much fanfic possibility. Wish I could figure out how to make it work..." <- you say, let me read this arc. Then I'll yell at you about it.

17. WAS THIS YOUR TRAP TO MAKE ME FALL INTO THE ENDLESS PUDDLE OF THE ELTARIAN WAR????? because i think it worked 18. GOLDAR!!!!!! Kim going "saved by gOlDaR?? I’m gonna need a minute" *cackles*

19. Taking a minute to appreciate THIS. How CUTE. AUGH. 20. and Goldar in that veryyyy last panel. BRO. GOLDIEBRO. I FEEL YOU. it's the downfall era for ALL of us. WHY MUST WE SUUUFFFERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

i have so many thoughts here awdsfghbdfjsvns I NEED TO READ THIS ARC!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU AUGMENTT ASDNRGHJFDSCSEJDFG

[hyeahgaku]

Jump Festa 2024 SAKAMOTO DAYS Special Stage

(Part 1) Here are some of the things that were discussed, & exchanges that the guests had, which i manage to understand from the panel. I did not include those that i couldn't quite catch. Apologise if i misheard anything cuz my listening for Japanese isn't top-notch 🙏

Introduction

Guests for SAKAMOTO DAYS JF2024 panel are Sōsuke Ishikawa (editor in charge of SakaDays; from here on shall be referred as Ishikawa-san) and Ryōta Suzuki (special guest appearance; from here on shall be referred as Suzuki-san)

Ishikawa-san did not cosplay as anyone this time (lol; previously he cosplayed as Tarō Sakamoto in JF2022, fyi). However, he wore Sakamoto's Store apron this year & said that it is no longer sold in Jump Shop but there is a newer version which fans can still purchase.

Ishikawa-san mentioned that now that the series has reached its 3rd year anniversary, the battle with Slur is heating up which makes it more exciting to witness its future development.

When Suzuki-san came on stage he made a joke about how there's an X mark (meaning Slur lol) at the spot designated for him. He jokingly commented that we would chance upon so many Slurs (X marks) in our everyday life so he's hyperalert of his surroundings lmao.

1st Segment - Suzuki-san's Favourite Manga Scenes

Suzuki-san chose chapter 16, "Department Store War": the limited edition Sugar-chan backpack sale scene. He expressed that he could really feel Sakamoto's love for his daughter, Hana-chan, in this chapter. And seeing how Sakamoto is now fighting as a Dad, & not as a hitman, really stood out here & it's amazing to see. He also praised the series' comedic scenes and remarked that those grannies in the chapter are way more scarier than any other assassins in the series.

Ishikawa-san added that as a backpack enthusiast, he felt that he need to get his hands on a Sugar-chan backpack too.

Suzuki-san's next favourite manga scene is chapter 28, "First Rate" (or "Top Notch" whichever yall prefer), specifically Seba versus Shin & Heisuke. Suzuki-san recounted his experience when reading this chapter, he wondered how Shin would fight an invisible person & moreover Shin couldnt read his mind when Seba wore the invisibility suit. But then Heisuke came to assist Shin, and Suzuki-san praised Heisuke for being a great guy who not only consoled Hana-chan when she cried (cuz she was left by herself in store) & told her that Piisuke would help find them. Ishikawa-san also agreed that Heisuke is a really good guy!

Suzuki-san explained that he had put lots of thoughts into choosing his favourite scenes as he took into account those people who have yet to read the series. He actually wanted to add a scene with "the strongest grandpa" Takamura! Suzuki-san confirmed it when Ishikawa-san guessed if it was the Tokyo Tower-slicing scene. Suzuki-san remarked that he was mindblown when that scene happened.

Ishikawa-san was asked to provide his thoughts on Suzuki-san's scene choices. He said that Sakamoto is always fighting a lot so seeing him take a breather and get to do a normal everyday life kind of stuff plus those hilarious (department store war) scenes was refreshing so he's glad Suzuki-san chose that chapter. As for chapter 28, the Seba versus Shin & Heisuke happened to be one of his favourites too. He enjoyed how Shin & Heisuke both try to adapt in the battle, with Shin not being able to mind-read, but the two never once gave up as they pushed on to defeat Seba, who has the invisibility ability.

2nd Segment - Special Q&A with Suzuki-sensei (done behind-the-scenes)

You may refer to the JF2024 Q&A questions which I have previously translated.

Q1. ALTERNATIVE CAREERS // Ishikawa-san thought that all the characters' alternative careers made sense. As for Suzuki-san, he was absolutely convinced that Sakamoto would have opened a ramen shop business & be the manager there. He added that Sakamoto's current shop could pass as a ramen shop as it already looked the part so he was really surprised with the home improvement/hardware store manager answer lol. He also commented that Nagumo is very handsome so him being an actor or model makes a lot of sense. As for Ishikawa-san, he also added that he can already picture Heisuke to still be in training even after he becomes a Chef lmaooo.

Q2. REST DAYS // Suzuki-san was just fanboying over Osaragi 😂 He said "Osaragi-san is the best and she's super cute!" and Ishikawa-san agreed. Ishikawa-san said she reminds him of a cat! Ishikawa-san further stated that, according to Suzuki-sensei, Nagumo is the kind who can switch between On & Off modes easily. Sensei also said that he would sometimes just sit on his bed on his day off, with his hair all messy, and just do Sudoku puzzles. Ishikawa-san confessed that he never expected such information though it's interesting, and then Suzuki-san chimed in & said that everyone generally likes guys with gaps (aka gap moe. Meaning: contrast between one’s appearance and personality, or the difference between someone’s actual personality and from first impression you had of them). Suzuki-san also added that Nagumo is pretty sly.

Q3. COOKING ABILITIES // Suzuki-san never would have guessed that Osaragi can cook! He even joked that Osaragi would cut her food/ingredients using her buzzsaw & then they joked that she'd even cut through the kitchen counter lmaooo. As for Ishikawa-san, he felt that Osaragi is good at cooking home-cooked meals. Then moving on to Yotsumura (the goat), Ishikawa-san stated that he actually asked Suzuki-sensei what Yotsumura's specialty was & Sensei stated that Yotsumura can cook just about anything -from Italian, French to Japanese cuisines you name it, anything at all! Lastly, Ishikawa-san remarked that since Mafuyu is a clean freak or a germophobe, he probably would not touch anything, much less cooking. Suzuki-san seconded this & went on to say that Mafuyu would never cook at all.

Q4. AOI & SAKAMOTO FIRST MEETING // Suzuki-san commented that Sakamoto being all shy, hesitant & fidgety is super cute & adorable. Ishikawa-san thought Aoi has great communication skills as Aoi strikes him as the type who would instantly speak what's on her mind so she must have been really worried for Sakamoto at that time (seeing him w blood).

Q5. SUZUKI-SENSEI'S MESSAGE TO SHIN & SAKAMOTO // Suzuki-san remarked that while Shin doesn't look like the series MC -cuz he imagined the MC to be someone really strong- he felt that Shin & the rest of the characters around him have made an impact & things have been exciting thanks to them too. Ishikawa-san pointed out that Shin is more of a "growth" type character. Comparing him to Sakamoto, who could just defeat anyone single-handedly and easily, Ishikawa-san explained that Shin doesn't have all that but no matter the obstacles & difficulties thrown his way, he constantly tried his best & never gave up, and that's what makes one want to root for him. Suzuki-san also expressed his opinion on how he feels like Sakamoto is the “I got your back” type of person, to which Ishikawa-san agreed, saying that whenever Shin is in a pinch, Sakamoto would always come to his rescue.

continue to pt.2 》

[detailtilted]

Thank you!! (To the rebloggers of the CHICON 2007 J2 Breakfast Video)

I’m not sure of the proper Tumblr-ish way to thank all of you who recently reblogged my post, so please let me know if I’m violating some sort of etiquette or doing things in a weird/awkward way.  I tried to put this in a comment on my original post, but I was too wordy!

I wanted to give a big “thank you”, though!  I was kind of thinking this project was just going to fade into obscurity, so I was really happy and surprised to find several notifications when I woke up this morning.  It was so encouraging to see the interest, and I’ve appreciated your comments both in the tags and in the reblog texts, as well as just the fact that you thought it worth reblogging.

The day I posted the Breakfast video, I started on the main Jensen/Jared/J2 panels from the same CHICON 2007 convention.  I figured if nothing else, even if no one else was interested, I’d want to have a complete set.  That will likely be the next thing you see from me, but I’m very slow, especially now that vacation is over, so my output speed won’t be impressive.  I do hope to get faster with practice.

The Breakfast video was my first time ever doing any video editing, not counting one very short and very pathetic attempt a few months ago with free software.  When I did this one, I purchased some proper software and I’ve been learning both the new software and video editing concepts as I go. I'm more of a words person than anything else, so this is way outside my wheelhouse, but it's something I'd been thinking about a lot lately and I thought I'd give it a try. If nothing else, it's fun to learn a new skill. I've found it to be surprisingly absorbing. The skip-meals-because-I-don't-want-to-stop-what-I'm-doing kind of absorbing.

If I do more, my intent was to progress through the cons by date starting from the oldest.  However, I’ve found that some footage is just such poor quality that the upscale process I’m using doesn’t work on it no matter what combination of settings I try.  I could still edit the original videos together as-is and then add subtitles and additional content like what I added here, but I guess people would be less interested if the video quality is too bad.  So I figured I'd skip over the ones I couldn't get a good set of upscaled videos for and focus on the ones where I felt like I could get a tolerable video quality.  Maybe someday either the technology or my skills will improve and I can go back to the ones I skip, or maybe someone else in our fandom with more skill in this area will be able to accomplish more.

(@kerkhofbloemen, unfortunately, it looks like most of the L.A. 2008 footage falls in that category, but I only experimented with a couple of the main videos briefly a few days ago.  I’ll put some more effort into it after I finish CHICON 2007 before I completely write it off as being beyond my current abilities.) 

Editing in the extra content has been the most fun part of the process for me.  So many of their cultural references go completely over my head, because I guess I live under a rock!  I had a moment of pure glee when I Googled “Montgomery” to try to figure out what Jensen was talking about when he picked his mic stand up. I immediately saw that Montgomery Gentry photo and burst out laughing because it all finally made sense!

Thank you very much @blue-chimera @sensitivehandsomeactionman @afacefromamoviescene @soulmates-for-real, @winchestersbaby067 @arwenadreamer @takikojou @kerkhofbloemen @stoneyggirl2 @unepetitefrancaise @jensenbeingjensen !

(I hope I didn’t miss anyone!  If I did, it definitely wasn’t intentional.  The reblog count on my post shows 12, but I only saw 11 names.)

[samithefungus]

Brendon and/or Warren with reader who is a freelancer artist that does a variety of things like family portraits, illustrations for books and magazines, etc and helps them for free.

Thanks Anon for the request, hope you like it <3

Warren x Freelancer Reader

WARNINGS: Nothing this time

-You were working as a Freelancer artist and were hired by a non-profit company to redesign their logo

-The company was called "Ok, Stop!" and even though you weren't sure what they were doing you took the job

-Your current 'boss' wanted you to design at the company's headquarters so they could monitor progress; you found it a hassle, but at the time you couldn't refuse because you needed the money

-During your time working there, you met Warren

-You couldn't really call him a Freelancer because he work for the company, but in his free time he works on podcasts by himself

-Even after you finished working for "Okay, Stop!" you and Warren stayed in touch

-You were called each others almost every day, albeit briefly, since you both had to work

-You decided to help him, since you were sorry to hear that almost all of his free time was spent doing podcasts for work

-You first recommended a better microphone to him, since the one he had sometimes recorded corrupted audios and then because of that he had to record podcasts completely over again

- "Really, I can't even find the brand of microphone you use!!!" You said

- "It's the cheapest one, I don't have enough money for a professional one " He answered embarrassed

- "Well....the most recommended is the Blue Yeti, my streamer friend uses it and it's great; and don't worry about the cost, I'll pay for it" You said

-Warren I look at you really happy , honestly no one had made something so nice for him

-You also recommend him to soundproof the room, so that no background noise could be heard while he was talking on his podcasts

- "Another thing you could do is soundproof the room, there would be no more background sounds on the podcasts" You said

- "I never thought of that" He replied to you

- "Someone gifted me some panels; I don't know what to do with them, if you want I can give them to you" You told him

-After you brought the soundproofing panels to Warren's house you also helped him hang them in the room he use for record his podcast

-Warren was sincerely amazed at your kindness

-Another tip you gave him to improve the quality of his podcast is to write a text where he can refer to the information without having to imrove, as he did before

-Warren wasn't very good at writing so you tried to help him the best you could, even if writing was not your specialty

-When he works too much you stop him by saying: "Take a break, working when you are too tired doesn't lead to anything good"

-The fact that working too much is also your vice and Warren often has to stop you too; sometimes if you don't want to listen to him he will use your phrases against you, since he knows that because of your ego you would not contradict yourself

-Warren will not bother you only if you have an errand with an impending deadline; he knows you have little time to finish it and does not want to you waste it

-Thanks to your advice Warren's podcast has been much more successful than it was before, and he won't stop thanking you

-Sometimes you make some drawings for him to put as covers for his podcasts

-Warren cries with joy every time you do this

-To thank you for all you do Warren try help you, advertising you to his colleagues

-You find it very sweet of him, even though none of them have contacted you yet

-The days when you haven't too much work to do, you both prefer to sleep or stay home and relax rather than go out; this is because of the decrease of energy in your body

-Life as a Freelancer is hard, and you and Warren know it, which is why you and Warren push each other to keep going

Brendon x Freelancer Reader

WARNINGS: Nothing this time

-You met Brendon almost by chance; you met him in a café when he asked if he could sit with you since every other sits was full 

-Neither of you spoke, until you noticed him writing something; you were intrigued and asked him about it

-He seemed astonished by your question; apparently no one ever asked him about his novel

-Brendon happily started talking about his novel, and he was glad that someone was interested in it

-He even let you read a part of it, and honestly you were amazed at how well it was written

-When you heard that no one wanted to publish it you were sad for him and you understood what him feels; you were a Freelancer artist, and in your early days of work it was rare that anyone would hire you and sometimes your hard work was not paid properly and very often was belittled

-You were now a fairly respected artist, thanks in part to the help of some of your friends; that's why you wanted to help Brendon as your friends did to you

-Fortunately at that time you had little work and more like easy errands, so you could help Brendon the best you could

-Brendon invited you to his house so that you could read his novel entirely and give him advice

-When you arrived at Brendon's house, the first person you met was his annoying younger brother; he was a good person, but the way he told Brendon to get a real job took you personally

-You and Brendon had to ignore Briefcase's provocations

-Brendon took his novel and gave it to you so that you could read it

-You flipped through it and saw that it was all handwritten; you were amazed at the dedication he had put into writing it, the problem being that publishers are more likely to publish a computer-written text

-You told him this a little anxiously, as you didn't want him to think you were belittling his work

-Brendon gladly took your advice and from that day began transcribing his novel on the computer

-Briefcase probably hates you, thinking you were leading his brother astray; that's why every time he saw you two together he repeated to Brendon: "It's a bad influence for you!"

-Every time Briefcase does that both you and Brendon roll your eyes

-To help Brendon as much as possible you also contacted some of your writer friends to ask which publishers were most willing to publish a novel

-You also designed a cover for the book

-When you told Brendon all these things he was almost cried of joy

-After meeting with some publishers you finally found someone willing to publish Brendon's novel

-You were delighted, the only problem was that you two would have to work alone on the design of the book

-Brendon was a little worried about this, you reassured him and because you having some experience in designing you offered to help him

-The first thing you did was correct the text, then you divided the book into chapters, so as to give readers some reference points and finally you added a sketch you made for summarizing the chapter at the end of each ones; you did this to make the book more palatable to the audience

-This work took you a long time and some nights without sleep, but in the end you were satisfied with about it

-You sent the file to the publisher and waited for them to send you the first copy before they finally published the book

-As soon as you got the copy of the book, you went to Brendon's house to show it to him.

-When you gave it to him initially he was as excited as you were, but when he started turning the pages he started crying from emotion

-You told him you would think about design, but not that you would use hours of your time to do drawings for his book

-He asked you if he owed you any money for that, and you told him 'no'

- "I just wanted to help you, I don't want any money!" You said

-Brendon hugged you still crying from joy

-Now the next step was to rub his success in Briefcase's face

-Brendon picked up his book and headed to his brother

- "I told you I could do it!!!" You heard him shout joyfully

-You have to admit that this made you smile a little bit

[ravensvirginity]

Under that panel about Dick having dreams about Raven, there was this comment trying to explain the context:

"Raven had her empathy powers going wild. So she thought she was in love with Dick. And was projecting herself in his dreams, without him knowing it was real. Basically trying to trick him into thinking he was in love with her, because she couldn't tell where her feelings ended and the feelings of those around her began"

Is this true? Raven actually consciously tried to invade Dick's dreams and trick him into thinking he was in love with her? I know the first kiss was completely unintentional, but the dreams were intentional even though she knew Dickkory was still together? That's basically cheater/homewrecker behavior. I would understand if she had the dreams herself, and then (again) accidentally gave him those dreams through empathy going haywire, basically she couldn't control it.

But then I find it strange that she didn't actually make any moves towards him in real life. Dick could only tell because of the dreams, and Kory only saw it through the look in her eyes, not through any specific interactions. And the talk with Kory later didn't mention anything about the dreams, too. Was Raven even aware that Dick was having those dreams? I have a feeling they were only talking about the kiss which Raven mistook for Dick's love for her.

What was Marv even thinking during that arc anyway? Was it an editorial suggestion or did he just have to create the drama? And it's so weird too. Raven had always been very wise and understanding in everything, even regarding things beyond the wisdom of peers her age like the misguided revenge for Terra, and then suddenly she became a selfish clueless teenage girl when it came to loving Dick?

That arc was iconic, indeed, but for all the wrong reasons to me. Raven and Kory could still have had the bonding without Dick's entanglement in it. And Dick and Raven didn't even have the chance to have a real healthy talk about it later. It's like sweeping the dust under the carpet. I prefer it if Dick himself broke the news to Raven, and himself explained his feelings for her but still assured her that he treasured her as a friend, a sister, or anything really. The forgiveness should have been from him directly, not through a third party. Raven needs to learn that, learn romantic feeling rejection the right way, not by being convinced that she only loved him as a brother. Who wants to kiss their brother like that?

The way I always read it is the dreams were unintentional and it was just her powers going a little haywire.

(NTT vol 2 #39)

I think the reason Raven is so immature in this arc is she literally has never been in love before. She's got the same amount of experience here as a 12 year old girl who has her first crush because of how long she was emotionally repressed. Less, even, because she's never really had friends before this either. The way this arc goes is definitely one of the more dramatic ways it could've gone but I think no matter what she'd be immature about it and probably make a fool of herself.

Raven being unable to distinguish platonic and romantic love makes an incredible amount of sense for her when you consider her situation. She wasn't allowed to love anyone for the first two decades of her life. She carefully repressed all of her emotions and didn't allow herself to feel anything towards anyone. Of course now that she can feel all the love that she denied herself of she's going to get confused! She has no frame of reference for the difference between how you love a family member or a friend or a lover because she's never truly had the opportunity to love anyone before.

I do think that it makes sense that the conclusion of the arc was that Raven only loves Dick like a brother. Like I said earlier, this is her first foray into letting herself feel emotions. It makes sense that she'd confuse platonic and romantic love. And also, just getting into semantics, I feel like saying you love someone like a sibling isn't saying "I literally see this person as a sibling", it's just shorthand for "I have a deep platonic love for this person". Obviously Dick isn't actually Raven's brother and the conclusion to that arc has never felt weird to me.

TL;DR: Even though Raven is an incredibly intelligent and compassionate person, she actually has very little emotional intelligence because of spending the majority of her life incredibly emotionally repressed.

[joviantwelve]

Hello! I've been doing some long, hard thinking about my current commission offerings.

TL;DR:

I am doing away with my "standard" menu (headshot/halfbody/fullbody/etc.) in favor of more experimental work.

Effective June 1, my commissions will close completely, including the waitlist.

If you want any of my current offerings, please let me know before then. You will be added to a final waitlist queue, with payment only required once I get to you.

If you're currently on my waitlist, or are interested in what's next, please see the bottom of this post. Once the final orders are complete, I will focus on relaunching.

Below is a more elaborate explainer of why I'm doing this, and what I'll be doing next.

Introduction

Essentially, commissions have worn on me more and more as time goes on (which may be tangible if you ordered one recently and it took months). Part of me wondered if I was burned out on art in general, or it was just becoming less of a hobby for me, but that sentiment didn't feel quite right. After all, I could still get grabbed by a picture idea every now and again, which I would then crank out in one evening.

Was there some sort of difference between the pictures I could hammer out quickly vs. the ones I couldn't? Well, I wouldn't make a post about an investigation without already having a prime suspect.

My Art Style

When I first started drawing aliased, it was to quickly crank out panels for my forum adventures, mostly because I was using GIMP and didn't know anything about brush settings. I was way too frustrated with anti-aliased lines and how little I could make them look how I liked, so I retreated into something completely different.

It worked for a while, but as I became more comfortable with the style, I developed bad, perfectionistic habits (something I've already mentioned being A Problem I Have). I would tweak lineart at the pixel level, just because some stray bump or two bugged the hell out of me. I consider this one of the reasons my art output has slowed down.

Trying to embrace a "perfectly inconsistent," or "consistently imperfect" look as "my style" just created its own irony. For example, I will deliberately draw patterns and textures by hand, because it sticks out too strongly otherwise if I just paste it in. You can bump into this quickly enough by scrolling through my various character references.

I would love a world where all my OC references feel "current," but as it stands, I'm finding it increasingly hard to work on the remaining characters I want to draw while commissions are also an obligation. Taking a break from aliased character art commissions in order to work on aliased character art references is...just doing more of the same? It isn't a break.

In order to create breaks that actually feel like breaks, I have to compromise. ONE of these has to go home and change. My personal art gets priority here, and I still very much want my OCs to look consistent in their reference art, so...I need to find a more efficient way to draw for money that keeps my dysfunctional brain entertained.

The Long, Slow Realization

Back when I used GIMP, I tried the chalk brush on a whim and ended up quite liking it. The rough look helped me ignore what I would consider "imperfections" otherwise. However, perhaps because I had a comic or character references I wanted to keep consistent, I mostly considered it a fun oddity and nothing more.

More falling dominoes that would eventually lead to this post were my experimental style offerings that I introduced last year (at the time, I just offered it because I thought people may be interested in art that looked relatively unique), Art Fight (having to agonizingly obey "finished not perfect" because of the event deadline), and other gift art I did around this time (the reasoning being, it's gift art, they wouldn't mind if I used it to experiment).

Now that I use CSP and am no longer bound by webcomic obligations, I've been experimenting more with brush settings. Wouldn't you know it, most of my modern art of my original stories is no longer aliased. I go "off-model" deliberately, fuck around with layer settings and effects, and enjoy creating pieces just because I saw a cool tutorial, brush, or program I wanted to try. These are the types of pictures I mentioned I could crank out in one evening. Maybe they're not "formal," but I feel like they're the most "me."

With all this new experience swirling around in my head, I finally realized: Why am I not selling art I actually find fun to draw?!

The New Offerings

Currently, I'm leaning toward one style of illustration only, cheaper than the experimental style I offer presently, and "rougher" as a result. I want something equivalent to my '22 Art Fight output; something flashy, unique, and most importantly, quick to do.

The specifics are what I intend to figure out while I work through the queue. Here are some thoughts already rotating around in my brain:

Should I offer price "tiers" that roughly equate a level of "polish" (equivalent to sketch/flats/shading) or just go with one-price-fits-all?

Should I still offer sketches as a cheap alternative, or is that too confusing with my Ko-fi already sort of being that?

Should I offer specific pricing for bust/halfbody/fullbody/etc., or was that another symptom of why I had commission burnout before, and should be avoided?

Should I eschew all of the above and just offer one thing at one price (e.g. "give me $50 and I'll draw your OC" with no other choices for the buyer), or is that too intimidating?

And so on. The last option is currently what I'm vibing with the most, but it's definitely the most daring idea of the bunch, too. (& If you have any thoughts on this, let me know! I have so much more thinking to do.)

The Old Offerings (But New)

When I reopen, I would like to have as few options as possible. However, I have considered the possibility that an old offering would speak to me and I would add it to the new menu again. Here are some thoughts on those:

Icons have a pretty high chance of coming back.

I've always liked drawing faces and headshots the most. If I decide not to bring back headshot sketches, I could just roll it back into "icons" and instead offer colored sketchy headshots. This would be similar to the headshots I did for Art Fight, but...with colors.

Half/fullbodies would depend on how the new style goes.

This is elaborating on what I said in the previous section. While I'm sure my core audience (i.e., you) will be fine with a potentially spontaneous angle to my commissions, buyers I'm less familiar with might not be. I want to try "one price fits all," but if someone gives me shit about me drawing a bust when they were anticipating a fullbody, I might have to add options to specify this.

Regardless, the style would still be "experimental" either way--the composition is what's important about it (which is also why I feel like I can get away with one single price). If anything, I feel like forcing myself into the little boxes of "halfbody" and "fullbody" was partially what was stifling me. Like, when do I ever consciously decide to draw a halfbody of an OC? I don't. It feels very arbitrary, and I'd like to distance from it.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: Character design is NEVER coming back!

I deeply appreciate those that did want a brand spanking new OC from me, but I've never considered myself to have a terribly strong design sense. They just kind of ended up being extra nervewracking to do because I had to design a character on top of drawing a fullbody. I will still take the final requests for these, but this is your absolute last chance for a Jovian Twelve™ Brand Original the Character.

What if I'm Already on Your Waitlist?

You don't have to do anything! I will get to you when I get to you. After June 1, I will close the waitlist, and whoever is on there will be able to have one of my old commission types, as promised. You can change your request anytime as long as I'm not currently drawing it!

Reminder that my waitlist is NOT "first come, first served;" I order it based on the complexity of what's wanted. Because of my slow pace, I didn't want to keep someone waiting forever when all they want is three sketch headshots, you know? This is a heads up that if you change your request, your position in the list may change as well.

I have no ETA when the current waitlist will be completed, given that currently, fullbodies are taking me months. Sorry :( Just another reason I'm making this post!!

What if I Want the NEW Style?

I will accept up to five (5) waitlist slots that want to "test drive" the potential new commission style, placed after the "traditional" queue is all cleared out. (So, you'd be waiting extra long.) If you're interested in this, get in touch! I will offer them to you at a lower rate than what I'm expecting to charge for the real deal, as thanks.

If you're already on the waitlist for something else, and want to test the new style instead, let me know! Just be aware this would bring you to the bottom of the queue as described above (but it WOULD give me one less commission I'd have to go through to get to the new stuff, WINK).

In the chance I get no takers the entire time it takes me to go through the waitlist, then the first five commissions I do in the new style will just have to be "test slots" instead.

Final Word

I know these long posts might not be terribly interesting to anyone that's not me, but I find it therapeutic to scrawl my thoughts out in text. Additionally, I'm over 30 years old and conclusions are still the hardest part in writing an essay. I can feel my writing style begin to devolve the closer I am to the end...

Uhhh.

Thanks for reading, and understanding?! See you soon, maybe?! Get in touch if you want to discuss Commissions From Me?? 💃 Cool.

[megashadowdragon]

Jaguar & Tezcatlipoca's Reunion Photo Tour!

Commentary: You can consider this a spiritual successor to Babylonia Omake: Jaguar Man's Último Adios.

"

Jaguar PELIGRO!!!

Commentary:

You thought I was out of Jaguar Memes? You're wrong! I just saved the best for last.

As a loyal minion of Tezcatlipoca, Jaguar Man joining up with Quetz is kind of like the pet (or No. 2) of the villain shacking up with the protagonists for an episode. It's a cute change to the dynamic, but you know it can't last because that mutt's only really doing that out of convenience until the status quo kicks back in.

So Quetz treating her with suspicion is pretty justified. They've been enemies for an entire mythos and she knows that Jaguar's only trying to kiss up to her because her usual boss isn't around.

Likewise, I'd like to think that Jaguar wouldn't mind getting a good hit in on Quetzalcoatl before scampering off back to the Throne and the Court of the Smoking Mirror. At least, that's how I like to regard their dynamic.

This comic and its punchline were partially inspired by this X-Play sketch. Anyone else remember X-Play? Good times.

The title of the comic is a reference to "Mi Ultimo Adios", the final poem of Filipino writer and national hero Dr. Jose Rizal.

While Cabron technically means "male goat" in Spanish, it is usually used as a catch-all expletive/insult. Please don't recklessly say it in public. I wash my hands of the mater.

Jaguar puts the (True) label after her boss' name to further distinguish him from how his four fellow creator gods Quetzalcoatl, Huitzilopochti and Xipe Totec are alternatively known as the White, Blue, and Red Tezcatlipoca respectively.

Tony the Tiger and Star Trek references. Couldn't resist. Sorry.

We'll be going back to the regular schedule after this strip. I hope you enjoyed these back-to-back marathon miniseries!

Do you guys prefer to call not!Taiga "Jaguar Man" or "Jaguar Warrior"?

"

orojuice commentary More Primeval Villain + Cat Archetrope Adventures! Had this idea since LB7 dropped, but I could never get Georgios to look right for the lead-up panel. That is until I remembered that CE of his. Finding that red waterfall background was also a huge boost since initially, I just placed a blood splatter on the final camera shutter background before the last panel would show the same background before that but without the duo. Much more fun this way. For Quetzalcoatl. According to the 8th Anniversary FGO interview with the creators, the giant robotic ghost that Tezcatlipoca summons for his NP sometimes? Apparently, his illustrator Shou Tajima was given complete freedom to do whatever he wanted for the Sun God's Third Ascension so long as he followed the specifications for the first two. The robotic ghost was his initial submission for that. And yes, this Third Ascension Tezcatlipoca was always that big. Nasu and the other creative heads liked it a lot, but they couldn't find a way to feasibly program it into the typical three Servant line-up. Mr. Tajima was asked to make a more typical Third Ascension in its place. However, while they couldn't have it in the game as a playable sprite, they did model it for use in Tezcatlipoca's First and Second Ascension NP sequences. So if he had, theoretically, transformed into that to fight Quetzalcoatl in this comic, he could've produced roughly this much blood.

spacebattles comments

Mash: Jaguar Man! Tezcatlipoca!

Fujimaru: D-D-Did you just take pictures of a m-murder?

Georgios: That's the scary part, Master. I didn't.

Fujimaru and Mash: Huh?

Georgios: Those pictures you're looking at? All of them were taken at the same spot at roughly the same time. It was supposed to be a photo of them enjoying their day in the city. Then, when I took more shots, I got those images. (shudder) The whole thing just creeps me out. I'm thinking of brining my camera to a temple to have it cleansed or something along the line.

Mash: What could this mean, Senpai?

Fujimaru: I'm not s-

Jaguar Man (passing by): Oh boy, nya! I can't wait to go on that hiking trip! Just you and me, Tez!

Tezcatlipoca: Yup! Just the two of us in the woods! No one to bother us as we enjoy ourselves! Wait, what about Coatl?

Jaguar Man: Nyot to worry! I sent her on a wild goose chase across the Sahara Desert!

Tezcatlipoca: Ha ha! What an idiot!

Fujimaru, Mash and Georgios: …

Georgios: Umm … guys? Do you think that my camera could have been taking photos of the future?

Fujimaru: Georgios? For our remaining sanity, please just drop the subject.

Georgios: But-

Mash: Senpai said to drop it.

[frodo-with-glasses]

Art Ask

Hey there! There was a cartoon you did for the Pyre of Denethor (which I couldn't find the link for, sorry) in which Beregond asks Denethor how he feels, to which Denethor responds with "stabby." Beregond goes on to explain how stabby is not an emotion. So, if you don't mind, 1, 3, 8, 13, 20

Thank you!

LOL nice choice!

(Read the whole comic here!)

1. What made you want to draw this scene?

The whole Pyre of Denethor is a very tense and serious scene, and while I love a good tasty bit of drama, ya gotta lighten the mood eventually X-P

I wanted to draw every heroic Beregond moment in this scene, which means I wanted to draw the part where he steps between an unconscious Faramir and Denethor with a knife—and because of the way my brain works, the “Stabby” meme immediately presented itself. And I thought, oh. Oh there’s no way I’m not doing that 🤣

3. What does [character’s] facial expression mean/what’s going through their head?

You didn’t specify which character you meant here, so I’ll give you the play-by-play. Beregond lunges into the scene in a panic, trying to deter any potential filicide. In his attempts to deescalate the situation, he goes for a therapy route/distraction—“let’s talk about how you feel”—with his internal monologue being “please work please work I dunno what I’m doing but please work”.

Denethor says “stabby”. The only thing going through his mind is “stabby”. There’s a beat where Beregond is like “Oh. Oh dear. This is worse than I thought.” Slowly, as he tries to work with the answer but also keep Denethor calm, he does the whole “stabbing…isn’t an emotion, it’s more of an activity.”

Denethor is now annoyed with this nuisance who’s getting in the way of him killing his son. His own patience has run out. “Well maybe I feel STABBY.” Beregond, meanwhile, goes from gentle and benevolent worry for both Denethor’s state of mind and Faramir’s health to full-on alarm bells and “NOPE YOU ARE NOT KILLING THIS YOUNG MAN TODAY NO SIR”

Funnily enough, as I was drawing the final panel, my mind was coming up with jokes—as it does while I draw—and one of them was “THAT’S IT YOU HAVE REVOKED YOUR DAD RIGHTS THIS IS MY SON NOW”. So take that as you will. 🤣

8. Did any part of this drawing make you go “AW HECK YEAH?”

Not really X-D It’s a very quick and dirty doodle, and not a terribly impressive artistic accomplishment, and that’s the point of it. But I did have a lot of fun drawing Beregond’s various facial expressions lol

13. What Easter eggs/small details are hidden in this drawing?

No Easter eggs, but some notable small details are Beregond’s black eye—which meant that I only had half his face to work with when it came to making facial expressions—and the way Beregond is holding Faramir in the last panel, basically smooshing Faramir’s face into his chest LOL

20. Quick! Random fun fact!

Had I not gone with the “Stabby” meme, an alternate choice of reference would’ve been the classic: “Lemme see what you have!” “A KNIFE!” “NO!”

ARTIST COMMENTARY ASK GAME!

[farfromsugafanfic]

Dangerous | Chapter 11: Blossom [Final]

Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Bad Boy!Jimin, Bartender!Reader College AU

Pairing: Jimin/Named Reader

Rating: M | Minors DNI

Chapter Warnings: missing cat, references to insecurity/regret

A/N: I finally got this series fully posted! Thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoy the last chapter.

The world stood still. You pulled the covers back on your bed, opened every cupboard, pulled all the clothes from your dresser drawers. Jackson was not in your apartment.

Cursing to yourself, tears pricked out from the corners of your eyes. If you hadn't been so focused on the plan, so determined to make Jimin hate you once and for all, maybe you would've noticed the little kitten slipping out the door.

When your head stopped buzzing like an attacked beehive, you found yourself on the floor of your bedroom, surrounded by your clothes and shoes. Grabbing the nearest pair of sneakers, you put them on and threw on a jacket.

It was beginning to get dark, twilight starting to settle in across the city. Panic rose in you once again, Jackson could be nearly anywhere by now. Found by a friendly passerby, in an alleyway like where you found him, or worse, hit by a car or chased by stray dogs.

The fear of what you would find caused your arm to go limp when you grabbed the doorknob, legs frozen to the floor.

[][][]

Jimin managed to get out of bed and make himself dinner. His mind full of you. He couldn't forget the way you felt underneath him, the sound of your hitched breaths, and quiet curses.

You were beautiful and his head hurt from the way you'd left. He should've expected this. And really, he deserved it. His biggest mistake was letting you go, tricking you, and humiliating you.

He realized it before you came back into his life that night at the club. Jimin realized it almost immediately. Watching you run off into the woods, seeing the realization and hurt cross your face nearly simultaneously.

"Fuck," Jimin said, the memories of driving around that night coming back to him. He remembered that he circled that patch of woods until he was almost out of gas and it was three in the morning.

Jimin had no idea how you managed to get home. He still felt a lump in his gut at the thought of you walking all that way. He ran a hand through his hair, glancing at his phone as it lit up with an email notification.

It was nearly two am, but it was from the Dance Department. The audition results.

Jimin fumbled as he reached for his phone. Not since he was the one waiting for the results did he care so much. He knew your name would be there, it had to be. Even if you never talked to him again, there was nothing he wanted more than for you to get accepted into the program.

While the TAs got to provide written arguments for who they believe should be accepted, it ultimately came down to the professors on the panel. Jimin had seen the way the judges nodded during your performance, the few notes about mixture of style.

He opened the email and scanned the list of names, smiling when he noticed yours among them. Jimin wanted to call you, wish he could see your face light up when he told you the news, but you were probably asleep by now.

Just as he was about to place his phone down, thinking he should probably go to bed, his phone rang. Your name lit up the screen.

"Inna?" he said, his voice wary.

"Jimin, I came home and I can't find Jackson anywhere. I think he might've gotten out. And I don't know what to do. What if he got hit by a car? Or what if he's cold and scared somewhere? I—"

"Are you still at your place?" Jimin asked, already beginning to throw on a pair of jeans and a T-Shirt. Your voice was laden with sobs, cracking with already shed tears.

"Yes," you said. You sounded so small and Jimin felt a pang in his chest.

"I'm on my way. Just stay put, okay? Don't go looking for him alone. I'm gonna bring Tae, too."

Jimin was tempted to stay on the phone with you. He didn't trust that you weren't already hitting the sidewalk and going down strange, dark alleyways in search of your beloved kitten. But, he needed to round up some help first. Starting with his best friend and roommate.

"Wake up," Jimin said, pulling the covers off Taehyung. He'd insisted on sleeping on the couch after coming back to find the two of you in a rather compromising position with the smell of sex in the room.

Taehyung looked up at his friend with tired, confused eyes. When he met Jimin's, he knew something was wrong and got out of bed.

[][][]

It turns out Jimin had reason to worry about you hitting the streets on your own. When he hung up after promising to come, you didn't have time to explain that you already stood a block away at the entrance to an alleyway.

You were familiar with this particular alleyway. It was on the way between the bar where you used to work and your apartment. Carrying a pouch of treats, you shook them, rattling them like maracas.

"Jackson," you said, your voice high pitched and soft. You tried to hide the shake. "Kitty, kitty. Where are you?"

You expected him to go back to a place similar to where you found him, an alleyway or dumpster. Even though Jackson had begun to fill out since you'd adopted him, he will still small and would be able to squeeze into places he may not be able to get out of.

A dog barked and the cold reality of the night air ran down your spine. There were quite a few stray dogs in the area or dogs that owners watched haphazardly. Jackson would never be able to outrun one.

Tears pricked at your eyes and you felt pathetic. You hated crying and it seemed to be the only thing you were good at these days. Walking out of the alleyway, you caught site of Taehyung's huge, tan car driving at a definitely illegal speed towards your apartment.

You ran back out on the sidewalk and Jimin seemed to notice you as you watched the car come to an abrupt stop about a block away.

Parking along the street, you started walking towards the car and watched as Jimin and Taehyung climbed out. Jimin looked wide awake, his eyes widening as they caught sight of your tear laden eyes and messy hair. Taehyung, on the other hand, looked barely awake, his eyes still half closed and he wore a pair of silk pajamas with slides.

"I told you not to go out on your own," Jimin said, his hand immediately coming to your shoulder. "Are you okay?"

You nodded, though the way you shouldn't meet his eyes proved differently. You weren't sure whether it was the embarrassment from earlier that night, or that you didn't want him to see the worry and hopelessness that took over your features.

"He's been gone too long," you said. "He could be anywhere now."

"Hey, you know Jackson. He gets scared on his own. I doubt he wandered off too far." Jimin wrapped his arms around you and brought you to his chest. You felt his hands leave your body as he motioned for Taehyung to look around. "I've called in some help. It shouldn't take them too long and with everyone's help, we'll find him, love. Don't worry."

He placed a small, barely there kiss in your hair. You felt a rush of cool night hair suddenly pierce through your clothes, causing you to lean more into Jimin's embrace. Despite having been in his arms just hours before, it felt different. It felt like you were two people wax molds of one another.

You didn't start out fitting together. Two blocks of wax that required a little warmth and a little pressure to bend this way and that, eventually coming to match each other.

Calming down, you started the search again, walking back towards your building to search closer to home. Jimin was right. Jackson wouldn't have wandered far on his own.

Jimin lagged behind you. You occasionally heard his soft calls as the two of you paused at alleyways or peaked under parked cars. But otherwise, he was silent.

"Inna," he said, eventually. "Have you seen the audition results yet?"

You stopped. The city was silent around you. Not even a distant siren or car horn could be heard. You shivered, rubbing your bare legs together. You hadn't even changed before you noticed Jackson was missing. Throwing on a flannel, you'd run out the door.

"No," you said, having not remembered they come out that night. You'd been too wrapped up in your plans to get revenge on Jimin and then later on, too wrapped up in Jimin to remember.

"Do you want me to tell you if you got in?" he asked.

"Is this really the right time for this, Jimin?" Your voice rose an octave and you felt your nose becoming congested at the thought of crying once again.

"You got in."

It felt like an earthquake was splitting the sidewalk beneath your feet. You should feel happy. You do feel happy. But it is fully eclipsed by your worry for Jackson, the embarrassment you feel after walking out on Jimin. You tore your gaze away from him and continued in the direction you were going previously.

"Aren't you happy?" he asked. His hand flew out to grip your elbow with a feather light touch.

"How can I be happy right now, Jimin? I just want Jackson back. I want to stop feeling—everything."

Jimin's dark eyes softened in the same way he'd looked at Jackson when you found him in the alleyway.

"Inna—"

Jimin's phone rang. He answered it, seeing it was Namjoon who had come to help search. Few words were exchanged before Jimin held out his hand and nodded in the opposite direction.

"They think they found him," he said. "But they need us to confirm."

Your heart soared. Taking Jimin's hand without a thought, you ran in the other direction. It was only just over a block away, but the two of you were catching your breath as you saw three of the men Jimin had called in to help.

It was a little funny to see all of them together outside of the club. Namjoon looked tired but was the only one who had bothered to completely change out of his pajamas. Taehyung stood beside him, a little more awake than when you first saw him. Finally, Hoseok was the furthest away from you and the deepest into the alleyway, greeted you with a smile. You wondered if he had even gone to bed yet, considering the easy smile and the lack of bags under his eyes.

Taehyung held something in his arms and you recognized the form of a kitten. You approached him and your stomach sunk as you saw the kitten. It was obviously not Jackson. The kitten was gray like him, but was a tabby.

"It's not him," you said. You fell to your knees allowing the ground to scrape them. You didn't care. You felt Jimin reach to catch you, but it had been unexpected and you nearly brought him down with you. "We're never gonna find him."

Your hands covered your eyes and your breaths splintered between sobs. Jimin crouched to comfort you. Even though his arms felt like the warm blanket you so desperately wanted to fall into, you pushed him away.

"Jimin, I—I can't do this. I think I'm falling for you too and I don't deserve to."

The words tumbled from your mouth. You didn't care that the other guys were there. In fact, they hardly seemed surprised, more caught up in the charms of the other kitten.

"Who says you don't deserve it?"

"Me," you said. Your tears were drying, unable to produce anymore. "I've played a dangerous game with you and I never intended it for it to be like this. I thought I could just rile you up. Make you hate me as much as I used to hate you."

Jimin examined your face. He didn't say a word though, his plump lips firmly shut.

"But in the end, I just ended up hurting myself. And you. And now we've lost Jackson because of my obsession with getting back at you."

The other three guys came running into the alleyway. Jungkook, Yoongi, and Jin all had sweat on their brows.

"Was it him?" Jungkook asked, looking down at you.

It took only a curt shake of your head for him to understand. You stood up feeling the blood leak from your knees and onto your shins.

You knew you were a mess. You could only imagine the way your hair was falling out of its bun and your bloody knees looked.

"I need to get out of here."

"Inna! Wait!"

Jimin grabbed your wrist before you could leave, turning you around to face him.

"You need to stop running away from things that scare you." He reached up, moving stray hairs off your face. "I can still see you're the same girl from all those years ago. Thinking that running away will make me forget about you."

Your body felt like it melted into the cement. You felt every point where his skin touched yours. He looked sincere, his face beginning to look wary in the early morning hours.

"It won't, Inna. Nothing will make me forget about you."

You lurched away from him, stumbling out onto the sidewalk with a similar swagger to the guys at the club that used to drink too much. Your movements were too quick, they were futile in preventing from running straight into a man on the sidewalk.

You fell backward onto your ass. The man wavered, but didn't fall, intently focused on not dropping what was in his arms. His face was handsome and vaguely familiar. Maybe he used to come into the club?

"Jackson?" You heard Jimin ask.

"Jimin?" the man asked, turning towards Jimin.

As you stood up you heard a familiar mew. Your eyes darted to the tabby kitten that Taehyung still held, but it slept peacefully in his arms.

Part of you didn't want to believe in fate like this. That things were pre-determined and meant to be. But, a sense of relief passed over you as you lunged for the gray kitten in the man's arms.

"Jackson!"

"Uh, yeah? That's me," the man said, giving you an odd look as your approached him and attempted to scoop the kitten from his arms.

"No, dude, she's talking about the kitten. He's, uh, also named Jackson."

"Oh," the man said, releasing his hold on your gray kitten. Jackson climbed to your shoulder, resting his head in the curve of your neck. He purred.

"Jackson found Jackson," Hoseok said, laughing.

"This is why I wanted to call him Mochi." Jimin came towards you, smiling at the looks of content on both your face and the kitten's. "But someone is stubborn and now he only responds to Jackson."

"Hmm," was your only reply. The exhaustion was beginning to wash over you now that you had Jackson back in your arms.

The rest of the guys were chatting with Jackson and you overheard him say that he found him in an alleyway outside some club. You smiled and closed your eyes. If it weren't for the cool air you could've fallen asleep right there.

Jimin reached up to pet Jackson and pressed his cheek against the kitten's back. "I'm glad we have him back."

The voices of the guys faded away as they walked down the sidewalk. It was just you and Jimin now.

"Did I really get in?" you asked.

Jimin's eyes looked just as tired as your own. It seems the adrenaline had been the only thing keeping him going too.

"Yes," he said. "You do."

"Do they not like when the beginners date the upperclassmen?"

Jimin's eyes narrowed at your question. "I don't think so. Why?"

"Just asking."

And then, you kissed him.

You realized the danger Jackson had found himself in. Risking getting hit by a car, kidnapped by a well meaning stranger. All to go back to the place where he found his family.

The danger you were in when you ran out onto the streets in the middle of the night to find him. When you trusted your ex-boyfriend too much. The danger of playing with someone's fragile heart.

It was a little awkward with Jackson between your chests. Your lips met at a weird angle and you almost knocked noses before meeting his lips. Yet, kissing Jimin felt like the safest thing in the world.

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[kvb227blog-rcchen]

Experimentation #1

My Drawing - Layered Glass Art

Research & Brainstorming:

Looking through Pinterest for quick inspiration, I found Shade by American painter and graphic artist Robert Rauschenberg. Shades is a layered glass artwork made up of numerous lithographed images taken from newspapers and magazines printed on each panel to create the shape of a cube. There is then a light that us directed onto the back of the work, shining through and giving the sense of colour despite the monochrome colour scheme. All these qualities combined provides a futuristic emotive as the layering creates negative and positive spacing, the density and spacing between the images evolving into a dream-like and unrealistic artwork. (reference).

I was initially intrigued by the medium of layered glass art and how images plastered onto glass panels can create moments of negative and positive space with the images overlapping each other. Brainstorming around the idea of using this medium for my experimentation, I thought of the idea of expanding and evolving an existing work of mine that was originally 2D into a 3D artwork. Further to this, with the overarching theme of this semester being 'Value', I began to investigate the idea of valuing simpler times in a person's childhood before realising the complex nature of adulthood. As a result, I wanted to capture a child-like atmosphere similar to what a child would draw. This is why I chose to use oil pastels as the main material aside from the glass panels from frames. I wanted to create an image that mimics a drawing made by the use of crayons that is messy and possibly unrecognisable to anything.

To further build on the idea of 'value' and 'simple vs complex', I tried to find a drawing that I made as a child that used crayons (or anything similar) but couldn't. As a result, I chose a drawing that I created when I was in prep using acrylic paints that depicts a sun with a face and two people placed in a grassy field. Not only would this piece be easier to divide into fore, middle, and background, it will be easy to recreate in a child-like sense due to the work already being created by myself as a child.

Creating:

Planned out what features of the old work can be placed into the fore, middle and background.

Background: sunset colours (yellow and orange) going horizontal on the glass panels. Grey and black circular streaks at the top to act like cloud. the clear and non-blended effect will allow for 'movement'

Middle Ground: this section will contain the sun on the left (with a smiley face) and the female stick figure on the right in red

Foreground: along the bottom has the different shades of green curving up along the sides as grass. Similarly to the background, the grass will be non-blended to give the impression that the grass is blowing in the wind or there is an element that gives the audience a story or narrative. Quick heavy pressure streaks to drive that crayon style.

Through the process of making this work, I wanted to make sure to reenact my previous child-self and her thought process when making it (I can surprisingly remember when I made it).

Reflecting:

Finishing this work, I was surprisingly disappointed with the results.

Despite the oil pastels being said to be able to be used on glass materials, it was actually extremely difficult to apply the pastels in a nice and even layer of colour. They also began to flake and go everywhere, somehow sticking back onto the glass and not come off.

Even though I aimed to have messy and non-blended streaks, due to how hard it was to apply the pastels to even show up, it would actually peal and remove the original strokes of pastel.

The end result was pretty good, however, I do not think I would be using this style or process again. I was getting frustrated and the process did not click with me. It began to feel like a chore rather than creating work. However, I am glad I tried and experimented with it.

I enjoyed recreating old works into a more nuanced and improved manner. As a result, I will continue to find my old drawing from childhood and recreating them in possible unconventional ways to show growth and how life gets more complex the more you grow up.

My Drawing, 2024 ​

10 x 15 cm​

Oil Pastels on Glass Panels​

Regina Chen​

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