#I think what I'll maybe do is go through my screenshots. upload a post with all of them for anyone who wants them. or maybe a google drive?

[late-night-vocaloid]

VVV Music Live live reaction that I'm calling a recap | Day 1

I took these down in a note during the show. Screenshots included but screenshot-only post also coming after this.

Ohhhh okay, I didn’t like the outfits at first but if they’re all part of a (massive) space crew it’s cute (shown in later 2D art screenshot)

Is this the same song as last time? Frimomen and Rei’s voices stand out so much lol

They’re all so cute…….

Yuki….. baby… standing with Maki

Guitar’s fun. Where do they put the other singers while one is performing? Do they go in the ship?

Oh they should give them applause. The vacuum of space white noise and reverb………

It’s nice to see her having fun lol. A little acting. I don’t remember her name right now but I like her. The blue one. (Minato)

Deep sea girl???? Maki sounds different. SynthV versatility I suppose. Cool arrange.

Oh my god I also can’t remember her name but she came out so funny, she was frowning. She doesn’t want to be here. Awesome voice. Moca.

Moca and Maki you are so cute. Barbie movie moment. I’d trust Maki with my life btw.

Is this because Saki and Tsudumi aren’t here. (Are they? I don't remember)

Baby walks out onstage!!!!!!

I mean they soooort of had her do the pose but not really

It’s okay you can let her speak in a talkloid voice. She’s shy I guess

Now that’s the dance!

Let’s be so real Yuki is the star

Mirai!! :) Now This is a Vocaloid. It’s a cute song for her. I like the song

Wait since when can she talk

I don’t know what you’re saying…. I think it’s cute when they have them interact

I love Vocaloid. Mirai Komachi resident Vocaloid.

Rei!!! Iyowa!! Rei looks like her real robot. I love you robot. I’m reeeally into her robot choreo. It almost doesn’t look like motion capture. Her sudden drops are cool. Her wandering around the stage + expressions, this is a robot

Talking??? The mouth looks good. Her spaced out looking expression…..

Resident utau

I’m looking up this song later (song isn't in the screenshot. It's NIKOTTE)

Girl you are so funny. Her star power

She’s literally just looking around! Her quick head tilt for a pose. I love her

Realizing she has Teto’s charm

Like actually she’s so cute?? I’m really seeing the appeal

Every time they show the next silhouette… every girl here has a bob lol

Yaaay the Kotonohas

Rikka I don’t know what you’re saying

Two songs per Tokyo 6 girl is kinda wild, good for them

Chifuyu sidestepping just into frame so funny

Oh I guess because no song with the three of them ?

Yeah Chifuyu Moca combo makes sense. And now: the quietest performance you’ve ever heard. The cuts between them are cool

Day one over!

(Reading of the names cute) (Yuki got to talk!) (Love hearing Rei read them off)

Next post will be Day 2 where I absolutely lose it. Somehow, I'm only the tiniest fraction into my screenshots, the scrollbar is still at the very top of the folder, which makes me feel physical fear.

[hoodedjelly]

Sleep walk BTS post!

will go in depth with my process and put better quality drawings in here!

Before any of this i was listening to several fiddauthor/ford playlists to hear a song that really got my brain moving. Funny enough i didn't get Sleep walk from one of the 100+ song playlists i was listening to, it was in my oc playlist (thats a mad scientist who would've thought). Originally i wanted to make a fiddauthor animatic (who knows maybe i will), but THIS SONG just caught my brain in a way i couldn't refuse.

So i technically started working on it the late night of September 27, exactly a week ago! which yes yes i hear you all in unison go "WHAT???" to that, and all I have to say to that is.... I have untreated adhd and lots of caffeine in my system! (honestly felt like ford sometimes while workin on that animatic)

Started it off with some notes, then thumbnails. I had my tbob AND J3 open next to me stood up with clips for reference (prob looked a little insane looking back but its fine)

now for the rough animatic! i did this in Adobe animate 2022 (i'll get back to that later) the only thing that really got changed was i wanted to add the diner scene from j3. i realize now that it messed up the timeline i was going for with the animatic but i like to think things are out of order because of the state ford is in, things start to merge together.

After i sat with this rough animatic for a bit, i wasn't sure if i was going to make it in Adobe animate (what i usually do) or make it all in Clip Studio Paint. I wanted this animatic to be way more visually interesting then i usually do, so CSP it is. But! i only have CSP Pro, so i had to draw and export every single new frame from this animatic.

it was a little tedious at first (again never done an animatic like this before) but i got used to it! I edited it all together in CapCut and thats really it!

The missing J3 pages from TBOB spoke to me in a way that im not fully comfortable talking about to my followers. I put a lot of myself in this animatic then i'd want to realize, it's very important to me. The night when i uploaded it i was literally shaking with anxiety (and caffeine-) but the overwhelming support for it is really amazing, thank you so much! if you have any more questions please ask away i love talking about the art process.

Below im going to talk about the code and put HD backgrounds!

thank you for dyemro on here for cracking the code first! now i can talk about my insane little thought process about it

So i never planned to add a code until halfway through with the animatic. i was watching ThatGFFan videos and him talking about gravity falls codes got my brain cooking. i wanted something sweet and simple (i realize with dyemro's post it wasn't as simple as i thought, give me some slack it's my first time). like what you should with making codes you start at the end. And i wanted something that was a nice send off for drawing ford be fucking miserable for 1 minute and 30 seconds.

so i got this. (honestly every time i look at this drawing after finishing the animatic it makes me real emotional)

There are 4 codes in this whole animatic 0:02, 0:15, 0:30, and 0:58

wanted the first one to be REAL noticeable so people can stop and be like "wait... theres stuff in here". people usually think to use the bill symbols, but no! from the description theres a little hint to use the Author symbols

doing that code it leads to: imgu r.com /a/uZa iVfu (and if you know that double line a under a letter means capitalization + im a dumb dumb that used a code image that didn't have a Z so thats just a normal Z)

it makes a LINK! > imgur.com/a/uZaiVfu <

now enough of that boring stuff, heres some HD screenshots and backgrounds of my fav parts

[nart-is-a-monster]

The following post contains people hating on a character on a skirt and a brief mention of sa and unaliving, please if any of those is something that triggers you skip the post and take care of yourself.

lets begin with the boundaries that i have

I do not feel comfortable with minors going to this or my nsfw acc simply because, is not a safe place for you to go (not even social media too but that's a different talk)

I do not like people going into any of my acc's to send my draws or content to minors bc... bitch do i even have to explain how fucked up that part is?

And last but not least; if you're going to talk shit about me at least talk shit with bases and evidence, how do you not have the first and most important rule about gossip? like??????

booooo tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes

I will not name anyone that was involved because first of all,they are minors and even tho they are old enough to know that what they're doing is wrong, naming them could do more harm than good and I think they are able to change if they just accept that their actions have consequences.... I'll be also using neutral pronouns for the ppl involved.

if you know the ppl that are in the screenshots please don't share their social media or acc's to avoid them getting harassed, also please don't harass the people mentioned here.

with that being said!

this situation has been happening for i think the last month when someone informed me about someone talking shit about my art on a private discord server.

I think that the concept of blocking blogs that have stuff that you're triggered or you don't vibe with is very simple to understand.

the persons that have been talking about how i don't draw normal stuff and how dare i to draw varian in a dress and being cute ohh no god forbid....

I don't know if you can't realize maybe I'm drawing Varian (A CHARACTER THAT DOESNT EVEN EXISTS) as trans masc and trans fem, and that anyone can have their hc and any hc are valid!

IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I DO OR DRAW JUST DON'T FOLLOW ME ¡is that simple!

the situation with the person who is the owner of the server where they talk shit about me has not moderate well the place and allowed ppl to hate talk about a creator who they don't even know, neither talk to, nor they should interact with.

I tried to confront the person by sending them a text message on tumblr, said text message has been ignored and the person simply uploaded a new post back then, so....

also im going to tag this with vat7k bc the problem happened inside the fandom.

screenshots and more details under the cut

how to respect other people's boundaries

aparently y'all need a tutorial

"A certain kind of guided, detailed writing can not only help us process what we’ve been through and assist us as we envision a path forward; it can lower our blood pressure, strengthen our immune systems, and increase our general well-being. Expressive writing can result in a reduction in stress, anxiety, and depression; improve our sleep and performance; and bring us greater focus and clarity."

this is from an article of harvard that explains how writting helps to heal trauma.

remember to inform yourself before talking or using terms you don't know the meaning

trauma bonding definition

what is destructive criticism

I can accept criticism when it comes from a place of pointing out a part of my artwork that can be upgraded or a different technique i could use, or even the pose or the technical aspect of a painting/drawing, what is literally just insulting an artwork because you don't like it and have no grounds for it and is just hate... that's what i don't accept.

criticism and arguments come from a ground of respect from the both sides, not from only straight up hate and disrespect.

that's all i have to say abt it all...

please remember to be safe online and even more if youre a minor

how to be safe online

[ablobwhowrites]

Can u write a Yandere!Fnaf 1 x Reader fanfiction? It can be like 20 to 30 chapters or maybe less if that makes you comfortable.

so I don't think I could run a series that long on tumblr but I can probably try but for now, here's some shit post and a small bit of headcanons with m/n and gn y/n

*glamrock Freddy trying to drive*

Gregory: "what happens if you press the breaks and gas at the same time?"

Minimum wage m/n: "the car takes a screenshot"

Glamrock Freddy on the verge of crying: "your making me nervous!"

Y/n's live reaction to seeing Monty running straight at them

Sundrop: "your my favorite friend m/n, I don't imagine what I would do without you!"

M/n: "I would be home, unconscious on my floor after this hell of a shift, I know that for truth"

Employeer: "come on, working in our underground pizzeria isn't so bad"

Minimum wage y/n: "balloras little gremlins of fucking side animatronics tried to drag me into there area the moment my shift was over"

Y/n: "so Vanessa, heard we got a some dj animatronic, hope it's one bolted to the floor at lea-" *sees dj music man that's currently not operating yet* "...i wish I could quit that job but this is the only thing that gives me free food"

Vanessa: "don't you steal the food?"

Y/n: "not everyone has the time to buy food after work Vanessa"

moon: "m/n I see those bags under your eyes, you haven't been sleeping have you?"

M/n: "I'm fine, I'm running in 18 hours of red bull, monster and something I found in my car before I walked into work....i can't feel my body"

M/n to the mapbots the first time he saw them.

Some supermarket worker: "Mr/mx y/n (or) m/n, can you please come to the front? A special guest is waiting for you"

Monty: "I got lost..."

Y/n (or) m/n: "I didn't even bring you here!"

Hey guys so I know I've been gone off a bit but shit dude, it's like the AO3 writers curse with me, a lot of stuff is going on and well all I wanted to say is that I'm extremely grateful for everyone of my followers and mutuals for being with me on my journey from new to old follower, I hope that everyone of you have a wonderful Christmas or any culture you celebrate on this day or tomorrow and I'll try to be more frequent with my uploads but for now, I love each and everyone of you guys who's been with me through my Tumblr journey and I hope you have a wonderful day and a wonderful christmas.

[gryhmz]

The Coffin of Elfen and Leyley: Incest and Questionable Consent in 2000s Media.

WARNING: This blog post mentions numerous sensitive subjects such as incest, questionable consent, murder, cannibalism, sexually explicit material, and real-life criminal cases. If any of the following is bothersome, I would highly suggest scrolling past this post. Thank you.

ANOTHER WARNING: This post contains spoilers for Elfen Lied and The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. If you wish to avoid spoilers, I would highly suggest clicking off this post and come back once you have finished both. Thank you.

Hello (again), it's grim.

I wanted to discuss an interesting phenomenon that I've taken note of over the past couple of years that seems to always cause internet controversy: The rise of taboo subjects found in modern media.

Now, I want to clarify that I hold very libertarian beliefs when it comes to media. If you can think it, it can be written, regardless of how inappropriate the content is. However, I also believe that there should be consequences to such writings depending on the substance.

The two topics I'll be talking about today are The Coffin of Andy and Leyley and Elfen Lied. These are both pieces of media that I have consumed in the past 2 years, and have noticed a trend between taboo subjects and how their respective authors and/or fanbases have used their taboo nature to repurpose characters and relationships for inappropriate media.

While I believe these pieces of media can be criticized in any manner due to their taboo nature, I would argue in defense of their conception since there is no exact promotion of the taboo nature represented throughout the mentioned medias. I believe this is important to state, for I solely disagree with the creation of media that promotes a taboo and/or illegal act rather than just the representation of such acts.

Images of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley (left) and Elfen Lied (right)

To make this analysis and opinionated piece easier to read, I will be going through my opinions and personal experiences with both of these medias separately. To do this, I will be separating taboo into two subsections:

Illegal Taboo

Questionable Taboo

While I would argue that there is probably some grey area between the two of these, I am simply dividing the taboos into two separate categories because my stance on illegal and questionable taboo slightly changes. Furthermore, the taboos in TCOAAL and Elfen Lied are very different. I believe it would be unfair to compare incest and questionable consent content. Both are taboo, both have been countlessly debated for and against, but incest has stable, concrete laws set against it (at least in the United States) while the other doesn't.

Let's get into the analysis.

Illegal Taboo (The Coffin of Andy and Leyley)

Screenshot from the love/incest route of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley

Oh boy, where do I start. I wasn't entirely sure what I was getting myself into when I first stumbled upon this game. I saw the art style of the game in a YouTube video where the uploader had referred to the siblings as "lovers," which gave me the impression that the main characters of the game were not blood relatives. By the time I had seen the controversy plastered all over Twitter and Reddit about the TCOAAL's "questionable" content, I had already bought the game, which put me in a tough dilemma: Do I immediately refund the game or do I give it a chance?

I bet you can guess which one I picked.

Me being the curious individual that I am, I decided to keep the game. I had a million thoughts rush through my mind about the decision I had just made. What if the game actually has illegal content? People must be exaggerating the situation. I'm sure that the incest claims are probably just false. If it does have a plot that revolves around such content, maybe its just a small tidbit of the game. No biggie. These thoughts did not stop, and I wasn't sure what to do next.

One of the only screenshots from Episode 2 of TCOAAL that isn't horrendous

For a month or so, I avoided the game like the plague. I held off on installing it, I avoided it on Twitter, Reddit, and Instagram as best as I could (for both spoilers and online biases), and I refused to talk about the game with anyone that I knew. I planned to play the game, but I wanted all the controversy to die off first so I could play it without too much backlash. Unfortunately in this world, outrage has become the people's first emotion to anything, so even if your reasoning for such an action is rational and fair, you might still be attacked for simply touching new media without an initial bias.

When I finally got around to playing the game, I was genuinely pleased. Episode 1 has nothing over-the-top, and the incest that people were talking about was yet to be seen. So I didn't think anything of it. I scrolled through my social media and just continued assuming that people were hating on TCOAAL simply for being a new trend.

Then Episode 2 came around.

I'm going to keep this short and sweet: There is incestuous acts and behaviors littered throughout the game, and people online were certainly right.

Below, I have a handful of screenshots that I took showcasing the romantic and sexual tension and acts between the two siblings. There's a bit of it.

(I'm not kidding, all of these are in the game)

Now, I will give TCOAAL fans this, the vast majority (9 of the 10 images) of the incestuous content above is NOT easy to come across. There are very specific routes that you must past through in Episode 2 to come across these screenshots. So it's not as "obvious" as people online made it out to be. In fact, it took me roughly 3 hours of additional gameplay to reach all the different endings for Episode 2, so it certainly is time consuming.

For the sake of time and my sanity, I will NOT be showing how to reach these scenarios. I will only say that you will know if you stumble across the lover/incest route because the NARRATOR THEMSELF warns you NOT to continue down the route.

While I don't think that the incestuous undertones of the story should be the entire definition of the series, I can understand why people dislike it. What is so genius about giving Leyley a romantic and sexual interest in Andrew is that it does one simple thing that the creator wanted to hit home: It makes people uncomfortable. It simply does what every other piece of horror/thriller media tries to do, and it does it well. I don't see it as any more or less uncomfortable as the barbwire scene from Saw I, and the fact that the creator could pull that off just by making Leyley an incestuous, manipulative creep is stunning.

Furthermore, TCOAAL acts as an interesting question for psychology: Does social deprivation, abandonment, isolation, hopelessness, and manipulation play a role in one's moral compass? We see that Andrew's behavior towards Leyley dramatically changes throughout Episode 2 depending on whether you choose to trust and sympathize with Leyley. In addition to a change in behavior, we also see that (most notably the incest route) Andrew accepts his nickname "Andy" again, which he hates due to its connection with a murder that he committed with his sister in Episode 1 (not going into too much detail). It is also noted that Andrew's ex-girlfriend Julia had trouble with Leyley's dominating presence in Andrew's life, which would lead her to stop communicating with him. His degree of whether he cares or not changes based on his sympathy towards Leyley, highlighting how relationships in Andrew's life highly changes based on how much he lets Leyley abuse his existence.

Backstory that showcases Andrew's love interest that abandons him in Episode 1

In short, TCOAAL has many more layers than the internet made it out to be, but the incestuous routes and behaviors between Andrew and Leyley can be seen as concerning. I'll come back to this shortly.

Questionable Taboo (Elfen Lied)

Famous cover art for Elfen Lied showcasing Lucy in the nude.

Now, I watched Elfen Lied in 2022, so I'm just putting it out here that it has been a while since I have watched the anime. Furthermore, I have not read the manga, so my observations are SOLELY off the anime adaptation of Elfen Lied.

Just like TCOAAL, I do NOT think that the story of Elfen Lied is overly terrible. While I do think that TCOAAL has a more sound story line, I do think that Elfen Lied did an okay job at showcasing the selfishness and cruelty of humanity. However, there has always been a part of the show that doesn't sit right with me and many other viewers, and that is Kouta's (the main male protagonist) relationships with Yuka and Lucy.

Throughout the entirety of the show, Kouta partakes in relationships that are considered extremely taboo, especially in the western world. For one, he marries and supposedly procreates with his cousin Yuka at the end of the anime and manga, which is gross and highly disturbing to me, and I am certainly not the only one who feels that way. Almost any search through r/elfenlied would show the outrage and confusion that many people hold towards such a decision. Below are just a couple of what can be found about Kouta and Yuka's relationship (which is also ironically incestuous):

However, one thing that I do not see talked about a ton is Kouta's HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE relationship with Lucy. While Lucy is not human and is considered to be a Diclonius (some sort of humanoid), some of the scenes and plot points feel as if the author wanted to bank off of questionable consent. Many scenes throughout the anime highlight that Lucy is "sexually curious," which makes perfect sense in theory, but is implemented horribly into the anime. Scenes like Kouta observing Lucy's private parts and random butt shots of Lucy just make the entire show uncomfortable, and I would even argue it normalizes taking advantage of the mentally immature for sexual purposes, which could be considered sexual abuse and/or rape (especially since Elfen Lied is a fan service ecchi).

I understand that mangakas and Japanese culture call for the normalization of nudity, but Elfen Lied fails horribly at making a good case. Elfen Lied could have looked over to other medias such as Ghost in the Shell and Imouto Sae Ireba Ii do a much better job at implementing casual and artistic nudity in their shows while still offering tidbits of fan service to the horny. But, I digress.

Nudity is showcased in both Imouto Sae Ireba Ii and Ghost in the Shell and don't face the same criticism as Elfen Lied

Regardless of how I feel about the previously mentioned, I will give the mangaka of Elfen Lied this: They did a great job making the viewers uncomfortable. I would even argue that Lynn Okamoto did a better job making me feel so unbelievably uncomfortable compared to The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, and it's been two years since I last saw Elfen Lied, so props to Okamoto!

My Personal Take on Taboos in Media

(Now that I scroll through images of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley and Elfen Lied, there really are a ton of similarities...)

In short, I do not think that these taboos make The Coffin of Andy and Leyley and Elfen Lied "bad." Distasteful? Sure. Gross? Most definitely. But, my concern for these medias stems from the fact that modern media has failed to hit home the ideas that these might be inappropriate taboos to normalize in modern internet culture. Simply going through tags such as "gravecest" and "coffincest" on Tumblr showcases the questionably deranged behaviors hardcore TCOAAL fans have towards the story's incest plot.

I was fairly surprised to find out the Elfen Lied has not been overly sexualized over the years. While I am thankful for that, I do believe that Okamoto was wrong for writing up a manga and anime that focused on a humanoid character solely for the purpose of being sexually taken advantage of. She could've done a much better job at handling the fan service without making Elfen Lied look like a promotion for sexual and mental abuse.

I believe all that really matters and what can be taken away from this analysis is that taboo subjects can be used in media as long as the intent and the targeted audience work together. For instance, I believe that The Coffin of Andy and Leyley's questionable use of incest as a story principle is okay since the author does not call for the promotion of incest in the story nor does the entire story revolve around the incestuous behaviors of the two main characters. BUT, rule 34 content of the game that showcases such explicit, incestuous acts between the siblings should be criticized since R34 content is solely made for pornographic purposes with no substance to the story's canon. I am also okay with Okamoto's usage of incest and questionable consent in Elfen Lied since it plays into the storyline and theme of the anime, but the fan service showcased in the show should be criticized since it was easily used as a lazy way to throw borderline pornography into the anime, therefore ruining the point of "artistic" and "normalized" nudity.

In short: I don't think using taboos in media should be illegal unless the media in question is a direct reflection of a real-life scenario (like the 2019 Shadman incident), but public criticism is certainly understandable on a case-by-case basis.

Thanks for reading, I am extremely tired.

grim.

[irrlicht-writes]

it was going so well. God, it was going so well. Why didn't I stop?

THERE WAS EVEN FALSETTOS!!!😭 THEY WERE SO CUTE WHEN DOING THAT, I SWEAR I WAS SO HAPPY 😭😭😭

but then again, when I read the warnings, I saw the last 'liar' and almost immediately knew what was about to happen. I don't know why, but redfall was still a shock, though. I read the 'incest' warning and was like 'uh?- what' and then redfall showed up and I was like 'fuck this can't be good' and by that moment I completely forgot about the incest tag. Then the chapter ended, and I stared at my phone for ten minutes straight.

this is the part you let us see in one of your posts!!! I remember when you said it was approaching 70k, aaaaaa when I read it I was giggling like a little girl.

I didn't know what would come next.

Alastor was right. He always is, unfortunately. At least they got a night together??? well, Alastor had been roofied, but... I guess that's the most comfort you're willing to let us get. And that's alright! I love angst, I feel like a feral animal every time you upload cause I know there will be a ton.

that would've been a perfect ending. But knowing that there's something more, something else that was bound to happen, AAAAAH I can't live without having closure, and a promise it's not enough.

it's never enough.

Delusional, OF COURSE HE'S DELUSIONAL!

By this point I completely forgot about the warnings. Poor me. Foolish me.

aaaaaaand this was where I was the most shocked. I didn't expect to see Redfall ever again, I thought he was like DEAD or something. surely Vox will be by his side, won't he? He loves Alastor too much to not act...

...oh

I wonder when Vox got together with him. I wonder if redfall talked to him already by that point. I hope we will get to see his Pov, but like you replied to me sometime ago, when scribbles was just getting started, some things are better left unknown.

He promises to kick him out, and the most heartbreaking part is that Alastor believes him. He never believes him, he always calls him a liar, but the one time he starts doing so, he is reminded that he isn't living a fairytale. He's in hell, and people lie, they always do.

Maybe that's his punishment. Maybe he's bound to always be let down once he starts believing someone.

some chapters ago you wrote "Alastor wanted to tell Vox things he had never told anyone. He wanted to tell him about Redfall" or something along those lines.

This broke my heart.

(But hey, that's not at all a bad thing!!! I love angst and my heart, even if it's already in pieces, can still be ran over by a car, get soaked in acid or maybe i will be the poor sinner that gets her heart carved out and esten by Alastor, it can still go through a lot of things really!)

then there were the break downs, Alastor looking for constant reassurance with his wedding band, I was hoping Vox would eventually ask him about Red, but then he saw them kiss. (I didn't take screenshots because I was so pissed at Vox but at the same time so hooked by your writing that I forgot lol)

I wonder what went through Vox's head. I wonder what he thought. But I know it, don't I? it was the same exact thing he thought when fucking Elliot was still around. He must've thought 'oh well I can't have what I want, so I'll screw his father. nothing can go wrong, can it? surely I proposed to him, but hey, I'm a filthy man, and my NEEEEDS need to be fulfilled!!!'. I know he was thinking about Alastor the entire time, but oh, wasn't there a more hidden place to do it?

The worst thing about it is that he didn't even look for Alastor when Redfall arrived. He was there, and then what? They started going at it the second Alastor wasn't looking?

It was only Vox who looked for him after the fight with Adam, only him who cared for Alastor. But that was when he needed him the most, and he wasn't there.

None of the hotel residents looked for him after he went to his room.

Not even Vox.

He knew about Redfall. He knew what a mess Alastor had been. He knew what Redfall could do to him, even if not to the full extent. And still, he was the person he decided to get with.

'He has Alastor's genes.' he must've thought. 'I know him.', 'We've been friends before.'

That's still unjustifiable.

At least I hope it was Redfall starting it. No, I know he was. Vox wouldn't seek him out, would he? yes, he is a man with 'needs', but he wouldn't deliberately seek out HIS FATHER to fulfil them. yeah. it's definitely that. (Yes, I am very delusional, thank you)

At this point, I think Alastor will feel worse in the relationship. No matter if one day they'll be happy, what's done is done. Vox can't undo it. He can't. I'll be so mad if they stay together.

I hope Vox finds out. I hope he finds out what a monster he's been, and I hope he feels like shit. I don't want him near Alastor ever again.

Then there was the sex. How had Vox not noticed? How had he not wondered what could've possibly brought him Alastor to give himself if just the night before he stopped him when he tried pleasuring him? It's heartbreaking. (Remember, that is a GOOD thing, I loathe for hurt/no comfort). Alastor tried doing that before. He tried giving himself to Vox, but then Vod had the decency to stop himself when he sensed something was wrong. Then, though, Alastor hadn't said yes. Now that Vox had his consent, why would he stop to check on him? it's not like Alastor's body wasn't enjoying it. And Alastor truly is a good actor. He was disgusted and grossed out, but how could Vox tell?

He's just a filthy man.

Alastor is the girl in their relationship, isn't he? That's what he always believed, and hey, who cares about the girls, right? They just need to be put in pretty dresses. They need to let the manly man tear the clothing off and let him do whatever he wants. They need to let him break them, use them, and throw them away.

Who cares about the girls?

Vox cares about Alastor, but when he's the girl of the relationship, he almost forgets he does.

Liar.

Liar.

Then there's the next day. I really don't know how Alastor held it all together.

No, wait, I do.

The fear of being alone is far greater than anything Vox could do to him, isn't it? The fear that Vox would abandon him for someone else. The fear that the wedding ring is just another empty promise.

Their relationship is shit. Complete and utter shit. They both need to work on themselves before they get married. IF they get married, because I truly hope they don't. I don't want Alastor to be with him, I don't want him to be trapped in a relationship with someone who, yeah, cares about him, but would still choose to treat him that way.

BTW I love your writing!!! I binged the whole series multiple times, it always makes me cry when I see Alastor's side of things.

Remember, though, that the angst is never enough. Just like love is never enough in your story :)❤️

love your works, dear author, and I hope we will see more of them in the future!❤️

(this took me an hour to write, istg I could spend so much more time discussing your story, it's so great I love it so much I hope you know how much I get excited whenever an update comes out, there are no words to describe how i feel every time i read it)

-💗

Okay now that some time has passed let me answer you! :)

Yes, Falsettos! I hadn't seen the musical before, and my friend showed me this song because of the "What I love I devour" line! And Christian Borle too! I'll never watch the whole musical though bc sob Whizzer

Haha, yeah when *I*, of all people, tell you "here's a good stopping point" then maybe there's a point to that :) Yk the chapter was going to be much worse but then it was so long I cut that part out... it still happens ofc but we don't see it :) Most of the angst I read is way too tame for me... I need it to hurt so I have to provide it myself ugh

We will get Vox's POV! I was way too tired/depressed last week to write anything, but next part is from Vox's perspective, so we'll know what happened! (My note for getting Redfall to stay was literally this: "why does he get to stay?? idk old friendship maybe?? let's see when we get there") And I still firmly believe in "some things are best left unknown"! It leaves more room open for interpretation. Even though now everyone is yelling at me for Vox's ooc behaviour...

Don't worry, Vox will realise what he's done :) Everyone will be so very thrilled! A heart-wrenching end, even! It's all quite dramatic.

Mhm, yes, the sex was terrible, wasn't it? Took me forever to write, too, because I don't do sex scenes. I've only done them in, like, three instances overall.

I'm glad their relationship is terrible! I've only ever done ones that were (to an extent) good for each other, so it's nice I can get the oposite done too!

And dw, there will be more! I've got the Human AU left to finish up, and then Part 4 too! And I had made some notes on other things but they're iced for the moment (for obvious reasons) My DMs and asks are always open, so feel free to come talk anytime 👉👈

[nathank77]

4/9/24

10:01 p.m

So they can't add my phone number bc I don't have an iPhone 🙃 thats been on my list of things to do since NOVEMBER.

Anyways I asked about my appt bc I'm going in for a purple screen that happened twice 4 months ago, video clips being slow to be added together/taking hours instead of minutes and upload speeds on my youtube being slow.

He told me if I go to Apple without photos and a prior phone call with us doing steps they are going to tell me to call Apple in the lobby and troubleshoot options. Aka it's going to be a major waste of time without screenshots... so I canceled the appt.....

I am going to screenshot it next time it happens. I'll take a photo of the purple screen if it happens again, and I will take photos of my slow YouTube upload times. Then I can call Apple, go through troubleshooting options and then schedule an appt bc otherwise I would be wasting my time....

So with that being said, idk if I'm going to West Farms Saturday... I mean whether or not you are going to show up I have no clue but it was worth it to go for the apple appt..and then throwing in lens crafters.....

Now I'm on the fence, I know you're here but I also know you're a mom... and I want to ask for conformation, I want to be like add me on that site if you'll be there Saturday. Or post the Wow men post if you'll be there Saturday but when I tried it last time, you went completely Mia...... and yea... there are closer lens crafters.... and idk what to do.

The two things made the idea of you not showing up, kinda whatever cause I don't really expect to run into you anywhere. I WANT TO more than I want my auditory hallucination to stop but I can't make you confirm... and I'm not asking you to but I wish you'd consider.

Let me weigh driving to west farms now without even considering you, I can go to a glasses store, that's open later than 5-6 p.m and look around and get disappointed but nonetheless I can look around and try to find frames for my face...

On a scale of 0 being pointless and 10 being worthwhile, it's like a 5 cause I have local stores.. although lens crafters does have that year protection plan other places don't and all other lens crafters other than at the brass mill mall close earlier...

Maybe I could go to the Brass Mill Mall. I'm going to assume you won't go. And it's closer to me and they have lens crafters and I can try on frames.

I have to consider gas money, glasses money and I have to erase the idea from my mind that you'll show up ever... I don't want to but I can't go thinking you'll go and get depressed, so with that being said I'm going to the Brass Mill Mall Lens Crafters Saturday since the apple store was a bust and now I have no purpose to go to Farmington....

I hope if you were considering going on Saturday me changing the location won't be problematic. I'm going to head to lens crafters at 5 p.m for me bc I need glasses unless the weather is shitty.

I will keep this updated on the off chance you can show up. I really want to see you Elise but wherever I go and whatever I do has to have purpose. I can't do what I did months ago. And the brass mill mall does have purpose.

If you show up please don't judge my outward appearance.

[slaughtermaticgames]

Week 3

I simultaneously feel like I did a lot this week and nothing at all. I started off the week not really feeling it, to be honest. I didn't start on the second floor yet, but I did end up doing some small(?) essential things.

First, a new logo! I made a simple thing in Aseprite to use as a splash screen and ended up using some stuff I learned today to make this thingamajig.

I'm only allowed to upload one video per post, so I'll try to talk about everything in order, and maybe I'll do some screenshots.

First up, this proof of concept thing I've been wanting to try for a little while. It is very sloppily put together and not meant to be like a professional level thing. But, basically, I used the 3D space in Godot to make a little logo thing and record it with Godot 4's built-in moviemaker. I will be thinking of ways to use this in the future, probably. I do a lot of graphic design type stuff like that for my steam. I don't know if Godot is easier for this kind of work, but I feel like I can make anything with it. So, I'll probably continue to do just that.

The second part of the video is a Sage Wall ability that I made for practice. Like I said, I wasn't really feeling the project a lot this week and I wanted to just do something adjacent. I don't remember where, but I remember someone saying you should just steal mechanics for practice, so I opened up Valorant and picked one out. Most of the abilities in Valorant are meant to be used on another player, so the wall made the most sense. Also, I think my ultimate goal is to work on an immsim so making random abilities is good practice.

Along with the wall, on this day, I ended up working toward making a sort of modular character controller. I can add abilities to it and all that stuff. I'm pretty happy with it as a start. I'll probably start my controller from scratch at some point, but it is good practice and I really enjoyed this work.

One practical thing I accomplished this week is a working vault system. Previously my system relied on Areas and Signals, which was a super janky solution IMO. And required me to designate vault-able areas and the player was phasing through walls and stuff, it was bad. I was just doing some work in a call with the boys when I started working on using RayCast nodes for the vaulting system. I couldn't figure it out on this night and ended up just really optimizing the previous version (It still wasn't great). So later on in the week I sat down and really worked out the RayCast version, and I'm happy to say, I actually got it working how I wanted. Movement feels a million times better now.

The first thing that I did this week: I didn't feel like doing anything this day and just opened the project to see what I could poke at. Next thing I knew I had a working safe system with a randomly generated code and figured out how to include the code in a note. Very cool. I wanted to kinda scope my way around this, but I think it is necessary for the game, despite how short it is going to be. It adds a small bit of variety to the game, IMO.

I also messed with lighting for like 2 days straight. I practiced baked lighting, which is something I actually haven't messed with since I first started learning game dev on UE5. It looked pretty good and brightened up a lot of dark areas that have been frustrating me. I know how to solve these issues when it is time to finalize lighting, and that's a weight off my shoulders.

I think I'm ready to just build out these levels. It honestly doesn't feel like a lot of work, but all the fun programming stuff is basically done, and I kinda want to move on to doing other things. I feel like I learned a lot this week despite not really feeling like doing anything, and I'm looking forward to applying them to something new. I woke up in the middle of the night to piss and while I was pissing I was thinking of ways to make X mechanic. It is a blessing and a curse. After this project, I think I'll be ready for another Game Jam.

I may start posting more frequently to chip away at this long weekly post. I could probably even be more detailed but at the same time I feel like I'm constantly busy these days so who knows.

[ephemeralgalaxies]

ayo another meta post for wangxian (but nightless city flavored)

Alright y'all bare with me here since I cannot for the life of me upload screenshots or gifs (I swear I'll figure out my weird computer eventually but today is not that day). Absolutely in love with the gifset @cherryysundae posted, so I'm gonna attach that here for reference to the scene: (XX) (pls work)

TLDR; I have way too many emotions about the cliff scene, but especially the part where WWX realizes that JC is going to send LWJ down with WWX and WWX can't take that so he wrenches away to save LWJ bc he can't lose any more than he already has, even if that means dying alone (but then him realizing 16y later that maybe he still has reasons to live and he'll do whatever he can to keep them this time).

Once again getting emotional about wangxian, specifically the Bloodbath of Nightless City when WWX dies.

Ofc we see that WWX has lost virtually everything at this point, right? Lost his adoptive parents (no matter how cruel they might have been, they still raised him so it's gonna be a shock a person just doesn't recover from in even a year). Lost the respect of the cultivation world because he wasn't willing to fit into their mob mentality and charge the innocent for the crimes of a war. Lost his clan, his home, his family when Jiang Cheng rejected him; people he's known and fought beside his whole life, places he's grown up in, foods he's connected to every little moment. Lost his new family, seeing the Wens dead and disgraced with crowds of people able to witness their bodies and talk shit on them (he doesn't see A-Yuan, ofc, but surely he wouldn't believe a little kid to survive the indiscriminate wrath of the entire cultivation world. He knows what's coming, he knows A-Yuan is done for if not already. He can't protect him anymore). He looses his sister, his tether to the world, the one person (he knew of, at least, as we know that even when he came back via MXY, WWX thought LWJ never actually trusted him) that truly believed there was good in him --- that maybe he was doing a good thing. And she died right in front of him with him believing it was his control of the spirits that caused the chain of events (IT WASN'T EVEN THE SPIRITS THAT SURELY KILLED HER. SHE WOULD HAVE LIVED JUST FROM THAT. It was some other cultivator determined to take down WWX in his moment of vulnerability and family mourning that lead to Jiang Yanli pushing him out of the way so the sword would run her through instead). And then, if there was any hope in rekindling his relationship with Jiang Cheng, that surely suffocated it. He's lost everything.

And the worst part? They can't even see what they've all become. Wei Wuxian just stands there, overlooking the destruction they're all spiraling into, no longer even trying to control the spirits. He breaks the Yin Tiger Seal and scatters it to the animalistic crowd below. Now, he really has nothing. What more to lose? There's no coming back from this, nothing more for him to do, no one else for him to protect.

"Trust me," LWJ told him when they still stood on the rooftop together before it all got so out of control. It's the fact that even before WWX lost control of the spirits (with someone else's flute taking over and causing the destruction), LWJ is there with WWX trying to calm the situation, help him the only way he knows how. "Lan Zhan, do you think I have any other choice now?"

"The situation changed ... You must trust me. It's not that simple."

FIRST OF ALL IM SCREAMING The change this represents for Lan Wangji??? "It's not that simple" --- after years of trying to understand WWX and this growing tension within the cultivation world and their tyrannical systems, consulting Lan Xichen about "black and white, good and bad" and how not simple it all is. "Do you think I have any other choice now?" Because WWX thinks he understands LWJ by now; that the Perfect Golden Child of the Lan Sect would of course cherish and uphold every rule and regulation and surely the Lan Sect wouldn't allow for WWX's reputational actions (he should know, he memorized (almost) all of them, cocky lil shit reciting them to Wen Chao instead of the Wen Clan's). So surely, LWJ would believe there's nothing else for WWX to do --- he's too far gone. Everyone else seems to think so, why not him? If even his own brother could reject him like that, why would some High Moral guy who "hates [his] guts" (thanks, JC, for completely misreading LWJ's gay frustration) think that any of this is still salvageable?

"Situation changed" "trust me" "not that simple" --- bc LWJ understands now, he does. He watched what they did to the Wens, he knows that A-Yuan is still out there somewhere, all alone surrounded by resentful spirits. He hears how the crowd refuses to even try to reason, how they attempt to shoot WWX down, scorn him for defending himself --- others can harm him, but he can't touch them. Most of all, Lan Zhan knows Wei Ying. He just needs WWX to trust him now, and they can figure out a way --- even if it means leaving everything else behind.

In my opinion, I think LWJ was willing to sacrifice everything for WWX in this moment. I think he was ready. Before JYL died, before WWX lost control of the spirits, before the crowd broke out into monsters slicing and smashing each other for a piece of the Yin Tiger Seal. He would have done it. But then... "situation changed" again. Wei Wuxian lost everything (everything except him, but LWJ was never WWX's to begin with, was he? Who was LWJ to think he would be enough to make him stay? to make him "come back"?)

"Wei Ying... come back."

But WWX can't let that happen. He can't trust him, can't get too close. To him, he's hurt everyone he's touched. (ok, now we start the gifset references) So, he goes to the point of no return.

And Lan Wangji catches him. He catches his hand with Lan Wangji's wounded arm, literally pouring blood down as he grips onto him (and as @cherryysundae said, blood is slippery as shit. so that's a strong ass grip right there, fighting against both the pain, the weight, and literal fucking physics against him and he still manages. It's taking all he has just to hold WWX there, but he does. And then JC is there, and maybe he'll help; reach down and pull WWX up from the cliff, save his brother, fix what they have left of their grief-ridden family and sect (would anyone else besides the Jiang sect have noticed the change in spirits? When they refused to brutally harm anyone, but not even daring to touch the sect? because "Wei Wuxian hasn't forgotten us!" and then the utter horror when they think he has?)

But instead, LWJ sees that bloody sword, sees it gripped tight, JC's unmoving stance. "Jiang Wanyin! Stop it." The tears in his eyes here, the unspoken 'please stop falling with them, stop pushing him away, stop ignoring everything you've been raised upon and realize that some things need justice and sometimes those things are the systems you've base your life on. Stop grieving what you've lost to the point of blinding you from what you still have.' And JC pauses another moment, so LWJ turns his attention back to WWX --- make sure he's okay, that he's alive, that he's not planning on going anywhere just quite yet, just a moment more please---

And then Jiang Cheng draws his sword back and plunges it into the cliff side. (and now we get into why I specifically love The Untamed's version of this scene, maybe even more than the novel/manhua/donghua versions). Jiang Cheng doesn't stab Wei Wuxian, he hits the rock. He digs into the cliff, makes it unstable, twists his sword just so in a way that would force the loose stones to crumble beneath not just WWX, but also LWJ. And Wei Wuxian sees this, he knows what will happen if Lan Wangji continues to save him here, hold him there against the cliff without the strength to pull him up alone. He's lost everything... he can't lose Lan Zhan just as he starts to realize that maybe he can have him. And he realizes here that Lan Wangji would die for him. He would give up everything, and Wei Wuxian knows what it feels like to have nothing left.

"Do I have any other choice now?"

So he forces himself out of LWJ's grasp, falls into the pit, away from all the pain and nothingness and from Lan Zhan--- who still, even after JYL died and the spirits created a bloodbath and insanity fell upon the crowd in desperation for power of the amulet, still thought Wei Ying was worth saving. To the point that he'd die with him if that's what it took. Or maybe, LWJ doesn't notice the loose rock, doesn't see exactly what JC does with the sword, too focused on making sure WWX just stays right here, stays as safe as he can be. And maybe WWX knows this, knows LWJ won't be prepared for what's to come, knows he won't have the strength to save them both anyways, let alone himself if it came to it. I mean, you can see the moment WWX realizes what could happen: the way he stares at the sword, eyes wide, then in an instant they widen even more and that quick gasp before he wrenches his arm away from LWJ, pain and tears and guilt and fear on his face.

The pure devastation on Lan Wangji's face as he stands there frozen, arm still outstretched, even after JC walks away. He screams, Lan Wangji, Han Guangjun, Second Jade of the Lan Sect screams. I think this might be the most expressive we ever see of LWJ in the series, though he does let down his walls more after the 16 years (for The Untamed) than during their youth, but nothing ever quite like this. not even when faced with the possibility of losing WWX again via JGY (see: the other half of the referenced gifset). I mean, dude is PISSED, tho, absolutely staring daggers at JGY here, but he's calmer. He's grown. He's gotten stronger. And he knows that if it came to it, he would gladly give his life to save his Wei Ying. He's not letting him go again. He's tired of WWX's savior-complex; he loves him for it, but damn it's starting to get on his nerves when WWX keeps pushing LWJ away to save him. Just the:

WWX: "Lan Zhan, you go first to find reinforcements."

LWJ: bitch, who do you take me for?

WWX: my god we're both doomed

JGY and LXC: you're both hopelessly in love, actually, but yeah also doomed.

I just,,, I love wangxian so much, right, and they have so many beautiful moments, but I will never get over the cliff scene. Everyone always talking about what LWJ would do for WWX, I think we need to focus on this scene more and just what WWX gave for LWJ in that he didn't try to break the hold UNTIL he saw that it was going to put LWJ in danger. He would've stayed. He would have come back. But it couldn't happen, not yet, not with everything still in shambles. No, he needed to go --- let fires settle, let systems overturn and stir into a rolling boil, give Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling time to grow together and grieve what they'll never know, give Lan Wangji time to grow as a leader of his sect, have disciples under his command and care, let A-Yuan become Lan Sizhui (fucking "chasing memories" I'm sobbing, LWJ), let people question whether WWX was ever actually wrong to separate from order and protect the Wens. Let Wei Ying come back sixteen years later to face a Lan Zhan who knows how to protect him now and by god will never let him go again. Let Wei Wuxian grow into a person that no longer wants to die; he doesn't fear death, he knows it well -- but he doesn't want to die anymore. For the first time since probably the Cloud Recesses days, he finally has hope, finally joy and love, he has reasons to stay. He won't fear death, he understands it now. But by god he'll rage against it if he can.

"Come back..."

And so, if just to see the ones he loves finally full of joy and not mourning him for another sixteen years, he'll do it. He'll come back.

[lestappenficssearch]

Hiii 🌞

You may have seen the post I made on my main acc (@matchtaco), maybe the name and the username already indicate what this account will be about, this idea occurred to me during the early morning added to the fact that this season ends on Sunday and the World Cup begins (so I'm going to need moments to relax from the 26 men who are going to represent my country and what better than posting things related to lestappen?)

There are over 1300 "Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen" fics at the time of writing this on AO3, so that's a lot, which not only means we're getting close to third and second place (and within a few years the first) of the ship with the most stories in f1 but also as a consequence many stories are lost among the constant increase of fics, and their search becomes very difficult when you only remember what the story was about or some characteristic detail, or also because of the number of fics, it may be that you want to read something specific with Max and Charles as the main couple and you simply want recommendations…

At that moment I come in, basically you ask me what you need my help with and I'll take care of looking for you and/or recommending you the lestappen fics you want, and if I can't find it or it's not the one you were looking for, ask me again if it's still there available, i'll find it lol.

If you are looking for a fic that you do not remember its name or its labels or its summary, you can request it in the link that says "ask" describing what you remember, for example: an ABO one shot where Charles and Max are divorced.

If, on the other hand, you want me to recommend a specific story, like the one above, in "ask" to write me what kind of fic you are looking for and I recommend up to 3, if possible (or tell me how many you want), for example: a forbidden love fic with sex for favors.

And finally, if you are an author and you allow me to download your story in case one day you delete it so that people who liked it can continue reading it, let me know also through "ask" or through my main page/account, I want to clarify that I will only download the fics of people who allow me, I will not do anything without the express consent of the authors (with the fics of anonymous authors I still have the doubt of what to do), as if you first allow me and then you don't want it anymore, I'll delete it and send you screenshots if you need to review it.

In these days I will upload a card explaining everything better (if I don't get to upload it today, I will upload it before Tuesday since my country plays that day and I will only be able to think about it haha) with the ways to request, the characteristics, etc.

That would be all, I really hope to be of the greatest possible help, if you need any kind of thing that I have mentioned in the previous paragraphs just let me know and I will gladly do it.

[jorvikfashion]

OKKKKKKKKKKK hi ssoblr

one of my top favorite things to do in sso is using it as a dressup game. in general i love designing in video games, whether it be a character or outfits or houses. in sso i love fitting outfits to my character and horses and play around with looks, and through outfits even discover new things about my oc's personality.

shortly after i started playing sso i started screenshotting players' outfits every time i saw a cool look that either inspired me or just was aesthetically pleasing. at some point i amused myself with the idea that what i'm doing is like street fashion photography (but very nerd version). when i looked in my screenshot folder i thought, lol this acts like an overview of jorvik's fashion culture, and i started thinking of sharing it. and then i thought, maybe other people can contribute as well, both their own looks or outfits they see around!

long story short, on this is a blog i upload screenshots of players with nice fashion i see around jorvik when playing. and i also invite everyone else to submit their own shots, and suggest anything you think could make this concept better. if you don't have anything to submit that's ok too, even if this blog won't get much traffic, i'm going to keep this blog for myself to keep uploading looks i see and love.

when i just started i did it only for myself, so i didn't think of writing down the names of the players. so probably most of the pictures i'll upload first won't have the names of the players in the picture. but down the road i want to state the players' name (and server) in every post. (if you see someone you recognize in the pictures - feel free to let me know!)

i'll upload a few pictures first just to have something up, and then throw the rest in the queue, which will post twice a day. if you have any feedback feel free to message or send an ask. even if i do it for my own fun, i think it could be great to have this blog as a shared experience of people on ssoblr, if that ends up happening.

btw, this blog is run by yasmine westbank. thanks for reading :D