#I think this is also true of basically every other band dad and I both like

[doedipus]

roundabout being the yes pick for best 70s song feels whack. like I know it's because of jojo but I'm still kind of surprised it's not something off the yes album

like okay, my dad's favorite yes album from the era is fragile (I believe his absolute faves are the ones in the trevor rabin era), so from a sample size of two it's understandable to pull from there. it's a good, solid album.

but personally I think the folksier angle a lot of the yes album goes for is probably more accessible and probably a better pull for a "best 70s song" kind of poll. like if you reach for a 70s yes song everyone can agree on you get like, starship trooper or yours is no disgrace

well, and then on the other hand, I really like relayer, man. the gates of delirium is probably like my single favorite yes song, and sound chaser is a close second. but no fuckin way are either of those songs good in the way a "best 70s song" contender would have to be.

[darksigns-exe]

dad omens - noah sebastian

word count: 767

warnings: unexpected pregnancy, a tiny sliver of angst

Jolly Ruffilo Folio

It wasn’t planned. The news hit him like a brick, and he’s out of it for a good day before he re-assembles his head and calls.

There was no fight, just a I need to think that you had expected from him. You had briefly talked about your thoughts about children and family when you had started going out, but had agreed that it would be something to revisit in a few years — not a year.

You hadn’t even made up your own mind about it yet. But regardless of what you’d do, you knew that you’d have to tell him.

When he calls, he sounds so awfully meek, asks if he can come over so that you can talk properly. Says that he’d understand if you don’t want to see him right now, when the opposite is true.

He shows up at your door twenty minutes later, eyes all red as if he’s cried a little too.

The conversation you have is very honest and open. He doesn’t hide that it scares him like hell, that he doesn’t know if he’s ready for it. But the bottom line is that he’s with you no matter what you decide. And if that means being a dad, he’ll grow into that. The boy doesn’t back down from a challenge.

Noah has a few expected moments of panic. He wants to do you and this child justice, and sometimes he just can’t stop the panic from settling in.

He’s getting band things in order so that he’s as free as he can be, and of course your friends are immensely supportive in all of that. Calendars are freed up, things are restructured to give Noah more free time. The guys are around to help with whatever they can. Noah tries to be there for as many appointments as he can, helps with everything he can, even though there’s always that little bit of fear in the back of his mind. And sometimes it does get the best of him.

That all changes as soon as he’s handed your baby boy for the first time. That’s his child, you made that little person together. He’s up changing nappies, making deals with your son as if he can understand a word of what he’s saying.

He takes great pride in the bedtime story being his duty. More of than not, you find him fast asleep with your son at his side.

As he grows up, it becomes very clear that he’s the spitting image of his father, and you’re left with not one but two menaces who live for benevolent chaos.

They’re a real dynamic duo, always on the go when Noah’s at home.

He’s showing that kid off to everyone, but draws a very clear line when it comes to showing his face in public. Until he can say yes or no to being on camera, that child is not seen on social media. That doesn’t stop him from taking just so many pictures.

You have physical albums full of your kid growing up, and Noah always takes a picture with him when he leaves for tour.

He tries to call every day when he’s away, tries to make as much time not just for your kid, but also for you. Loves when you visit and takes great delight in chasing your son through the venue.

Maybe he’s not the dad who picks your kid up from soccer practice (mostly because the try-outs for that ended with your son saying that he doesn’t think that the others are in it to win it. Count on your child to be ultra competitive at the age of six) but he’s at every parent teacher conference, and he’s supportive of most new hobbies your son gets into. He draws the line at the fifth sport in one year and sits your kid down for a talk about it instead of getting upset. Turns out sports maybe aren’t his thing and he’d rather do something creative, but somehow got it in his head that sports is what he’s supposed to be doing.

A week later, Folio’s teaching him the basics of playing the drums.

Noah doesn’t ask questions when your son needs a late pickup from somewhere, doesn’t press for details but makes it clear that he can tell you both everything. And that policy of honesty pays off when he tells you about his first kiss and how he thinks that he has a real crush on that boy.

Noah’s by far not perfect, but he’s trying his hardest and that’s good enough.

[foccaccia]

who are your ttrpg blorbos i LOVE hearing abt ttrpg blorbos...

omg ok im gonna try to keep this short or else ill write a whole novel but

In Monster of the Week:

Sunny (Sunsheighne Lydeighah Suarez) is a Monster of the Week character. She's 22 and bubbly and petty and and so, so, so, so, so, so stupid. Barbie Girl without the Barbie Accomplishments. Sunny started out as the Spooky playbook but has since migrated to the Chosen playbook - she's got the Green Dragon Crescent Blade and is maybe sort of the antichrist a little bit. She takes Every Drug. She's Mexican-Chinese and grew up in a trailer in Texas. She's so good at magic and hitting things, and so bad at thinking. She has phoenix ancestry and also was cursed. Normal girl things.

One of her moms is a failed country rock star and the other is a dragon. One of her dads is a cranky old monster hunter who turned into a god, and her sort-of other dad is a lich. Her brother has anxiety and is also a dragon, but is actually just a stressed college student with a band.

Sunny is engaged to a fae who is also Bees. She also has a girlfriend who is a crack shot and who enjoys accounting, and who we just unbrainwashed from a vampire tree. Sunny also has So many phone numbers.

Right now she's road tripping with her family (blood and adopted) across America as they break into the library of congress, try and fail to rob banks, and blow up a water tower to flood a town.

Sunny's ex-girlfriend was Audi Mercedes Windsor. Audi died, but Audi's fetch - her death omen, basically, like a changeling/copy only meant to survive til the original's death - survived, and got named Mercy Benjamin. I'm also playing Mercy - she's the Monstrous playbook.

Audi was the adopted daughter of an extremely rich film director, and most of Audi's life was filmed as she was trained very carefully to be picture perfect onscreen, and was exploited as basically a show dog. She was actually a mean selfish bitch, so Mercy is too - but Mercy is currently learning how to be a person and not an asshole. Audi was also in Sunny's brother's band, and Mercy in some canons is tentatively as well. She's roadtripping with the others, trying to avoid being noticed that she looks just like the dead rich girl splashed across billboards and magazines.

Jaime de Villiers is also one of my MotW characters in another campaign. They… are sort of three people fused into one. One of their component parts is a demon general named Kokabiel, who was the only true death in the war between heaven and hell. They wanted to be a perfect soldier and stand up for what they thought was right, as well as avenge their dead human spouse and child, but jumped in front of an attack meant for their commander and died, and became a ghost until summoned by their second component part by accident VERY long after, and the two fused.

Second component part is [redacted].

Their third part is a fae Spanish / French pirate from 1700's Spain, named Jaime de Villiers. The original Jaime served as first mate under the Kokabiel Fusion, they fell in love, and terrorized the coasts, but eventually Kokabiel Fusion and Jaime both nearly died and fused in order to save their lives. Now they are One Person with some very weird life experiences.

They've spent most of the last few thousand years at sea, trying desperately to be alone and Not Exist. Now they've been dragged kicking and screaming into a weird small Michigan town full of cults and secret police and monsters and witches and more, to be with their family (original Jaime's grandmother is a vampire and has a whole line of descendants who are wonderful and insane) and Be Helpful. Jaime is bearing the company and forced morality as best they can, and to their immense horror is actually starting to have a good time and learn to be happy again bc of their family. They accidentally stabbed their beloved cousin in the chest when they tried to kill The Actual Devil, but it's okay bc their cousin just became a goddess. Also they're now dating their old commander they died for, which is cool.

Another MotW character is Hector Carnage, who is a butch drummer in the up and coming band Bubblegum ☆ Carnage. She used to be a hockey player until a permanent hip injury screwed her out of her contract and now she's living her best life with her three insane bandmates. They’re about to play the weirdest craziest concert ever.

My last MotW character is Crescendo ‘Cres’ Flair, a.k.a Woebegone Lightfoot, a.k.a Harmony Caravaggio, a.k.a Beowulf Sublime, a.k.a Ophelia Divine, a.k.a - you get it. They go through new names every few months to Avoid the Government. They're a genderqueer Flake who uses they/he/she. He's also a sixty year old full out victorian goth with garrote wire and some wild conspiracy theories. Right now a hunter-for-hire, basically. She grew up on a dairy farm in Iowa.

Other than the MotW characters I'm playing now, I do have a scattered few others but I never did use them a whole lot. Here's a few,I can't remember all of them right now.

Daisy Smith is a fallen Aasimar who is sworn to defend all retail workers, is overly emotional and naive and genuinely kind/sweet, and also is a scary as hell warlock. Her patron is an eldritch horror of luck who looks like a bowling alley carpet.

Umami is a half-orc ranger with a panther familiar who I wanted to develop more but got shafted in the short campaign I got to play her and I'm still bitter about that.

At one point I had a rock dwarf who was a rockstar but I don't even remember her name. But I did love the concept.

And finally. Deco is my Baldurs's Gate character. Because I started playing Baldurs's Gate a week ago (no spoilers, please). That's basically a ttrpg. They're a Seldarine Drow, a druid from the circle of the spores. They became a druid because of the beauty they found in the Underdark nature, and because of their views on the beauty of death as a part of the circle of life and nature. Deco also is a decent leader, very forward, a little violent, and striving for true neutral if they can't hit neutral good. And they are absolutely going to smooch the shit out of Karlach.

Sunny (the second piece is a parody of Mucha's 'The Moon and the Stars')

Mercy (another Mucha parody piece)

Jaime (the second piece is a parody of Klimt's 'Water Serpents I')

and finally, Deco!

…that was kind of a novel. Sorry 😭

[erwinsvow]

𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 | 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧

author's note: sorry i just cannot stop writing headcanons! it's my favorite thing to write. i really hope everyone enjoys these, they include things from these two works of mine as well :) -shea

𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐢𝐧

very much the involved boyfriend

once you guys finally start dating, he just immediately wants you guys to merge lives and share friends, even though that’s not a simple process

but it’s really because he cares about you so deeply he doesn’t want there to be a part of his life that you’re just not involved in

therefore; very involved

you guys manage your schedules together and plan out dinners and dates in advance

he mostly really likes having something to look forward too, like time with you

the kind of boyfriend that remembers little stuff you say here and there

like if you mention your mom’s birthday is coming up, he’ll ask later what you’re getting her and suggest some ideas. probably would send your mom flowers too to earn brownie points

or if you have a stressful week with exams and papers, he’ll stop by randomly with coffee and a snack and a hug

i honestly don’t see jean as the kind of boyfriend to start/carry on a fight, because he would hate knowing that you two are upset with each other. so i think any fights would be resolved pretty quickly

if one did happen to go over night or last a few days, he would definitely apologize first and bring you flowers, even if you were the one who started it

honestly though, with a guy like jean, what is there to fight about

overall, just a super caring boyfriend that makes the little stuff the memorable stuff

𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐭

the! best! boyfriend! ever!

i see armin as the ideal caring boyfriend

he just really likes to have someone to take care of, and he is also really touched that someone trusts him enough to ensure their heart to him

so he takes every measure to make sure he’s being the best partner he can be

a lot of emotional sharing, and i feel like would happen pretty early on as well

only because he is so trustworthy and you know you can tell him everything on your mind, even stuff that you maybe haven’t told anyone else

this just makes your relationship progress even further. you two are the couple that has been dating for a month but knows they are going to be together for a long time

speaking of, you are the mom and the dad of the friend group, which is so adorable but calls for a lot of teasing from your friends

but armin knows he’s going to marry you one day, so he just laughs when eren cracks another joke about it

𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐧

i’ll be real, this relationship is definitely not the easiest

reiner definitely loves you, don’t get me wrong, but a big part of him probably thinks he doesn’t deserve someone like you to care about him

which isn’t easy in a relationship because i feel like he would try and distance himself from getting too attached in the beginning

maybe he just thinks you’re going to see through him and realize you don’t want this anymore (which is not true at all, but just his intrusive thoughts)

i think you would try to reassure him about your feelings and how much you want this relationship, but then he feels like you shouldn’t have to reassure him, and that you shouldn’t be in the kind of relationship where you have to reassure the person. basically he thinks you deserve someone better, and you know that there is no one better for you

eventually i think this reaches a breaking point. through a lot of angst and honesty and tears, you two finally work it out

i think after clearing things up, things take a huge turn for the better

he definitely learns that there’s nothing wrong with being a relationship where you have to take care of each other, and he’s definitely thankful that you continued to stand by him

so sorry about this angst, but on the bright side, this man would be such a devoted boyfriend

his friends definitely make fun of him for looking at you like you hung the stars and moon in the sky

i also think all this angst would lead to you two being really open and vulnerable with each other, which is really important to him

also definitely a mama’s boy and can’t wait to introduce you to her

just like armin, he knows you’re gonna be his wife someday

𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫

even though i think it would take eren a long time to settle down and commit to a healthy, long-term relationship, once he does, he would be a great boyfriend

he is a really caring guy, and i feel like part of his hesitance is about opening up to someone if they’re just gonna leave

but i think he can tell early on that this would be different

i have a feeling his love language is quality time, and so you two are always planning little things together

he especially loves last-minute, impromptu dates that arise from a random thought

like he’ll grab two sandwiches and take you to the beach at sunset, even if you just got home or had something to get done

or knock on your door at midnight and take you to the nearest roof to stargaze together

i feel like eren is the boyfriend who becomes your closest friend over time

you guys go to each other first when you need to rant or talk or babble endlessly

it’s an interesting dynamic but it works well for you guys

the kind of bf that people assume he’s a single bachelor and will stay that way forever, or people don’t believe that he’s settled down, and then when they see you two together they’re shocked

𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐨 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭

you and marco have the most wholesome relationship

if i had to picture anyone whose relationship feels like the honeymoon phase even after a whole year, it is marco

he has a habit of making every small date, every meeting or interaction just feel so special, like every day is a special occasion

the kind of boyfriend who gets you a promise ring early on with every intention of replacing it with an engagement ring and wedding band one day

a big moment for him is introducing you to his friends! he knows they’ll love you, and he just wants you to meet the other most important people in his life

especially you and jean, this boy would be on cloud nine seeing you two get along so well. makes him super happy and teary-eyed

the responsible bf who takes care of everything for you, even little, everyday things so you don’t have to worry about it

like making sure there’s a cup of water on the nightstand when you go to bed, or setting an extra alarm to make sure you don’t oversleep, or reminding you about a deadline

overall just <3 boyfriend marco

𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧

the nonchalant, cool boyfriend who has to hide how sappy he actually is

pretends like he’s not nervous as all hell on your first date. acts like you leaning into him on the walk back home, or kissing his cheek at your doorstep before you say good night isn’t giving him heart palpitations.

also majorly touch-starved. after you two really open up to each other, which happens way sooner than he expected, it’s hard for him to keep his hands away from you.

he’s reserved in public, a simple arm around you waist or hands interlaced while you guys are out

but when you’re in the privacy of your home, it’s almost instinctual for him to pull you close

he loves when you lay your head on his chest, but nothing compares to when you let him lay his head on yours.

you stroke his hair and sit in silence, appreciating the quiet mumble of the television and the sound of each other breathing

always falls asleep like this, and he’s never been much of a nap guy, but ever since he met you, he’s reformed

not to mention your skin is always so warm and soft, and his is always on the colder side, so he’s just drawn to you

also i see him as the kind of guy who proposes out of nowhere, like you aren’t expecting it at all after a quiet dinner together at home, you’re getting up to grab dessert and he pulls out a ring

“how about dessert and naps for as long as we both shall live?”

𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐨 𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐝

once again, pock tries to put on a tough facade but we all know he’s just a softie on the inside

in fact, it’s a little while into your relationship that you notice him softening up with you, trying less hard to seem like someone else and getting more comfortable around you

you definitely don’t mention it, because you don’t want him to realize how you’ve been noticing it lately, but it definitely makes your chest feel warm and fuzzy at the thought of him being more himself

it’s not long at all before you can’t even see any semblance of that tough guy you met for the first time

the kind of whipped boyfriend that carries your bags when you go shopping, grabs your coffee order on the way to visit you, and likes to have quiet nights in more than going out

your favorite memories with him include watching rom-coms and munching on popcorn in his apartment, everyone else out and about on a saturday night

the leftover pizza is sitting on the counter, and you turn to go put it away when you notice pock teary-eyed at the movie!

yes, this boy cries at sappy romantic movies and you regret ever putting on the notebook that one night because you wanted to get laid after and that just did not happen because he was crying too much

but also just treats you so right and has every intention of being the best boyfriend he can, doesn’t ever want to do anything to hurt you and is highkey very glad he met you and has someone to be so open and comfortable with!

𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫

can you spell boyfriend material.

the most comforting, wholesome boyfriend in the world. you actually can’t believe he’s single when you guys meet for the first time, because there’s just no way.

this is the take him home to meet your parents guy, introduce him to your friends right away guy because you know it’s serious

i talked about how bertholdt is the bf who just listens to your talks and rambles for as long as you need to, and always offers advice and sweet words, but he really does take it to the next level

lets you cry it out when you need to, rubbing your back and hair softly and not minding when his shirt is covered in tears

or alternatively lets you rant about your annoying professor or a terribly rude stranger or whatever else is plaguing your mind today

texts you every day asking how you’re doing, always calls you before bed if you guys aren’t together

he just has the ability to make you feel so heard and seen

and of course you never forget to take care of him, as well. it makes for a really comfortable dynamic.

very easy to imagine spending the rest of your life with him despite the fact that he has kicked you off the bed multiple times in his sleep

𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐡

alternatively, husband material

takes all of five minutes into having a conversation with him to realize this is a responsible, mature guy

which are usually far and few between

i’d like to think he’s similar to marco in the way that he likes to make sure things are taken care for you, he likes to get things off of your shoulders even though you feel like you should be doing it for him instead

this translates to a lot of checking in phone calls, making sure you’ve eaten dinner and haven’t skipped meals because of your busy schedule

always makes time for you and especially loves having date nights every saturday, it’s wonderful when you haven’t been able to see him all week

anyways, you get engaged and married so fast bc you just had to snatch him up

[its-me-im-coraline]

NSFW Alphabet // Ethan Torchio

words // 2383

warnings // smut, clearly its nsfw headcannons

pairing // Ethan Torchio x GN!Reader (might be mentions that seem like they are for f reamer but comeon theres lingerie for every body 👁️👄👁️)

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. an apology to the people on my tag list i think i accidentally have not been tagging you this whole time i am so so so sorry omg

request // yes, it was a reblog i cant find it right now

summary // self explanatory

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Regarding you, Ethan is the king of after care. As rough as he can be in bed, that’s just how sweet he can be once you're done with it. Goes full on dad mode (don’t know how else to explain this). He will have water, painkillers if you’re now in pain, a washcloth to clean you up, new clothes, and of course the cuddles.

“I’m alright, Ethan. I can do it on my own,” you say as Ethan walks to you with the wet cloth ready to clean the mess he made on your body.

“I know you can, amore. I just want to take care of you,” he says as he leaves a kiss on your lips.

I can also see him being the one to make a big fat breakfast the morning after, or at least get up early to pick something up.

Now I also feel that he is in need of some aftercare. It depends on the day really, if he’s had a pretty rough day and all I feel like he’d ask for some backrubs after. In this case he’d fall asleep so quickly like omg. But on the biggest part I see him feeling the need to reassure you that the things he said (i think we already established that this man would call you a slut) are not how he feels about you and will be asking if you feel the same.

“Do you love me?”

“Wha- of course I do, Ethan! Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t know… I guess - I guess I am worried that you don’t after what I said.”

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

When it comes to himself I feel like he really likes his chest and arms. Like I don’t know but I see him really getting off with you pretty much mastubating on his chest. Ya know what I mean? (i think you do you little sluts). He pretty much enjoys anything you do on his chest. I can imagine him looking at the mirror after you two had sex, seeing the cum on his chest along with the marks you have left and just smiling.

“What are you looking at, love?” You ask, seeing as the man is standing in front of the bathroom mirror from your spot on the hotel bed.

“Nothing, just the mess you made.”

“Mhm, and I bet you like it, huh?”

“You have no idea… Hey, are you sure you got tired? Cause I think I can do another round.”

As for his arms, as I said, he simply really enjoys that he can man handle you anytime, get you in any position he likes and feel you scratching them from the pleasure.

When it comes to you, Ethan is an ass guy. Say what you want but the man is an ass guy, end of discussion. He loves anything that involves your but. It does not explicitly have to be something like anal. He simply enjoys seeing your butt and holding it in his hand. It does not matter if it’s big or not, if it has stretch marks or whatever. Wear lingerie that he likes or that itty bitty teeny weeny bikini if you wear them or even some tight pants that make your butt just poìp and he can not contain himself.

I think I have said that to someone here (i think I had sent an ask to zodi @ icouldbeyourputtet) before but I feel like this man is very into spanking, like not even the rough malicious way. but this very wholesome chill way.

You had been talking about it all day, not having had a minute alone with each other for days, you could only dream what you could do that night after everyone left.

A playlist was playing in the background and a cigarette was burning on the ashtray next to your legs, you assuming a similar position, as said cigarette, bent over Ethan’s lap as he caressed your ass cheeks and back, playing around with the lingerie set he had gifted you a while back. (Did I just go to search my fave porn vid, lol exposing myself, and get disappointed because I can’t find it and translate it into fanfiction? yes yes i did, so bare with what i can remember)

“It’s okay, baby, you can take a little more, come on,” he praised, leaving a spank and yet another soft rub on the very red cheek.

He continued, going with the music, a very nice pattern, not very rough spanks but just enough to cause pain, pleasure and redness all over. Accidentally the man landed a few very rough ones causing a gasp and a series of giggles as you practically fell off his lap.

“Ethan, what the hell?” You laughed getting up from the floor and this time sitting on the man’s lap, sharing kisses with him.

“What,” he copied your action and laughed, “it was not intentional. I got carried away by how nice your butt is.”

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He is and is not messy. He will not want the cum to be in every surface possible you know, he will be careful but at the same time this man just loves to see his cum on you, whether it’s your back or your stomach, or in you if you’re ok with it. I bet he has a teeny weeny breeding kink but not necessarily because of the idea of breeding you but rather because he looooves seeing his cum run out of you… I'm not sure if this falls in the breeding kink category but alright

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes to fuck you while watching porn.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I feel like he is pretty experienced. From what they band has said in interviews and stuff, he seems to be getting some pretty often (no one, NO ONE, is surprised at that). He is not acting arrogant tho (not unless that’s the dynamic of the night), he is willing to learn what works for you and you specifically

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

As I said this man is an ass guy so I’d say anything that involves having the view of your ass. Humor me but i think he’d really like 69 with a female/afab partner (don’t know if this works very well with two dick-baring people lol). It has it all, eating you out,

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I think it can be both with him. He will not exactly try to make jokes but if something like the previously mentioned spanking incident happens it’s def welcome.

Now as a general rule I see him being pretty serious. I will be honest, I’m getting brat tamer vibes from this man so it’s all pretty serious when you really get into it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Considering he’s an Italian man and if you look at a lot of photos of him he def fit the ‘mediterenean’ man type. I see him just barely grooming. I don’t see him really shaving or whatever but he also wouldn’t want you to choke on pupic hair, he much rathers you choke on his dick

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It all depends, really. He can be quite intimate with you but it all depends on the moment. There are different occasions for everything. For example, and this is a paradox that I hope I’m explaining well enough to understand, he is not very rough (will not be very aggressive and stuff, like to the extreme those tik tok boys want to pretend they are with their * growling * ew) but he will be rough. intimidating looks, spanking just enough to make you feel pain and redden up your ass cheeks. He’s like that mostly when you are being bratty.

Most of the times, like we’re talkin kind of lazy sex moments, it more wholesome ig, like very intimate and just comfortable and almost comforting. Ok, but like why do i see him having sex and having casual conversation (not the most common, i see this as like lazy day off, having nothing else to do and not being like super horny but being more like h o r n y … am i making sense?)

Setting the scene, you two are at home, both have a day off but it’s kind of raining so any of your plans are ruined. At this point it’s at around 10 am, not early, not late. You have missed each other and both have made it obvious but you are both in a very tired state so you opt for something not too much.

Plain and simple missionary is what goes around this time, Ethan on top just holding your legs around his waist,, going at a pretty medium pace.

“It’s a pity the weather is bad today,” says Ethan staring out the window.

“I know, we were going to go to the beach… I’m bummed about it,” you say, short of breath as the man continues his pace fucking you.

“Mhm, true. But this is better, amore, no? I’ve missed you so much,” he breaths out the last part, moans interrupting his words.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He does that pretty often, especially if you are not around to help. Sometimes it’s because of you that he needs to. I would def see him exchanging naked pics with you and at first he does that to tease you but he ends up teased when he sees a video you sent of you masturbating.

Bets that he’d be taking photos and vids of you fucking on occasion so he goes to these when he misses you on tour.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

As I mentioned previously I see Ethan to be a brat tamer. That I see to be the main kink that kind of works around everything else.

“Can you stop this, slut? It has gotten exhausting. I told you no noise but here you are,” he ordered, looking down at you trembling below his finger tips.

His face was quite stoic, voice never wavering from the strict and cold tone he tended to have when scolding you on the daily. Most times it was leaving a cup out of the sink but this time the scolding came from misbehaving. As if it was not enough that he was punishing you for being a brat and riling him up all morning, now you had to disobey orders. It was getting to him for sure.

“I’m sorry daddy,” you whisper, Ethan seeming satisfied with the response.

“Aw, why so tame puppy, now you decide to be nice?” His tone stayed the same, his words imitating a joke but the whole ordeal was not even close to it.

Now as for other kinks (did I open a site because I could not think? yes, shut up), as a result of being a brat tamer dom there are some few more kinks accompanying specifically that. He is def into bondage, both tying you up but also being tied up on occasion.

“Puppy, I have told you that is not a way to treat me. Untie me,” he says calmly, wrists tied on the headboard of the bed, eyes fixated to you.

“Well, why not? You do it all the time,” you whine, placed on all fours, facing Ethan as you lean towards him on your hands, “I want in on the fun.”

If only he was not tied… Ethan’s mind was already going places, figuring out exactly how he would punish you after you untie him -or after he escapes the restrains, whatever comes first. You knew that, very well - in all honestly that was the plan, that is always the plan.

“Amore, let me go. Let me go and your punishment will be tame,” he voiced looking at you, now positioned on top of his lap, touching yourself right then and there.

“I sense you want to be punished puppy, don't you?” You simply nod your head, eyes closed in pleasure.

“You see, the problem is you will not enjoy what I am thinking.”

“Mhmn.”

“Well, get yourself off now that you can, cause after I get my hands on you… You’re not getting to cum for days, amore.”

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Honestly, anywhere. I can see him having a preference to the luxury of either of your houses or a hotel room but if you push his buttons just right, some restaurant’s bathroom it is.

why can i imagine him having sex at a weeding venue’s bathroom….. omg…..

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Honestly, both. I feel like he would be extremely good at giving it, but would never opposed to receiving

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s ok with them but he doesn’t love them, ya know?

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.

Is surely try to do new things but it will always depends on what it is.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Come on. This goes without saying. He is a drummer for a living. He can surely go on for long…

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I def feel like he has a fair amount of toys. Some for himself, some for you… He looooves using them to punish you.

(small mention to my last fic little puppet)

“Beautiful, puppy! You have been doing so good for us, taking your punishment so well, but we are not done yet.” A buzz sound is what concerned the girl, eyes widening at the toy.

It was a small remote virator, imitating sucking on the clit. The drummer placed the girl over his knees, stuffing the toy between his leg and her clit, shocking the sensitive bud. “I think you can take a few more spanks,” said the man, landing one at the expanse of her thigh, the skin giggling at the contact.

“Damiano, count,” ordered the assertive man, seeing his friend kneel in front of Y/N, kissing her and then doing as he was told.

“I think we were left on twenty-three. Twenty four,” he began, counting all the way to forty before the ordeal was over.

The whole time Y/N was shaking, just about to fall off the edge, asking for permission to cum but her wishes were not granted just yet. She was exhausted, overstimulated, frustrated, and now unable to move on her own. But, oh man did she need more. The two men were more than willing to assist her.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A ton! It’s his specialty. Maybe one of his most common punishments is edging and teasing. He can drag it on for days

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He is not very loud but is surely encouraging you to be.

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11 @teenyweenynightghost

[issaxcharlie]

Ghost Of You 2/2

Pairing: Ghost! Luke Patterson x Fem Reader

Summary: Luke, Reggie and Alex have to assimilate their loss. For Luke of his girlfriend, and for the others of their best friend after suddenly learning that she didn’t have the future they imagined, and instead died 23 years ago.

Thank you to @cookiebuba for being the head of the entire idea and trusting me with it, and to Emy for almost holding my hand to force me to write🤣💜

PART 1 HERE

“It can’t be.”

“Luke, I-”

"No, Julie. You are not telling me that the woman of my life, the purest person who has ever stepped on this world, not only lost her partner and her best friends, but was only able to live her life for two more years and then ended in a horrible accident. It's as if life wanted to torture her before taking her too.”

“Love of ?... Zeppelin shirt you wore when you ran away. Of course.”

“I- It can’t be true, please tell me it’s not true, Julie.”

“Luke... she loved you so much.”

He falls on the floor. The impact is strong, as if his legs have stopped working.

"I know." He whispers slowly, his gaze empty as multiple tears fall from his eyes.

The rest of the gang threw themselves to the ground around him and hugged him with all their might, trying to unite his broken pieces without any success. Alex and Reggie each crying silently over the loss of their sweet friend.

“What day did she pass away? Alex whispers.

"Let me search, one moment." Julie gets up quickly and checks on her laptop to find a little note about the singer's death.

"The rising singer Y/N Y/L who had just released the biggest hit of her career passed away this afternoon in a terrible car accident after leaving the cemetery where her late boyfriend, Luke Patterson, was buried. Y/L was there in commemoration of the 2 years of the loss of the aspiring musician, who died from a sudden tragic intoxication along with the rest of his band. Something to rescue from this tragedy is that at least she's already reunited with her eternal love. May both rest in peace.”

“This can’t be. My Y/N can’t be gone. Not her, not like that.” Luke is still in denial, unable to believe that his little girl suffered such a terrible ending.

“Maybe she’s not. There's still a chance that she's also a ghost.”

“Yeah, Julie’s right. We need to look out for her, we can't write her off without trying to find her first.” Reggie's eyes sparkle with hope, rushing to cover Alex's mouth in case he says anything other than motivating.

Luke takes his flannel and disappears immediately. Both Reggie and Alex stare sadly at Julie who simply whispers a "go, he needs you." They nod and teleport to their friend.

As expected, Luke is in front of the window of an old music store. He met his girlfriend here so many years ago, the day his parents agreed to buy him his first guitar.

The store had a small section where customers could try out some instruments and she was playing the guitar they had there and singing for the small audience. It seemed like it was something she did often because both the workers and certain customers seemed familiar with the girl.

Luke was captivated by her from the first moment. The energy and passion that radiated from her in every move was unreal. He had never seen anyone happier, much less singing with a borrowed guitar from a small downtown store.

The store is completely abandoned, so without saying anything he comes in and walks towards the small stage.

The ghosts of two 12-year-old kids singing together into the microphone invades his memory. If they only knew.

"Do you remember what was the first thing she said to you?" Reggie and Alex sit next to him on the floor, looking straight at the very small stage. They both try to imagine what their friends must have looked like singing here together the first time. Luke totally invading little Y/N's presentation trying to captivate her with his 0% music experience and 100% of enthusiasm.

Luke laughs through tears. "You have the voice of a country singer."

Alex starts crying when he imagines her. He met her just a few weeks later so he knows exactly how she must have looked and sound.

Reggie smiles while shedding a tear, remembering all those afternoons Y/N convinced Luke to join them in their country sessions. He knows that's why Luke hasn't wanted to know anything about country or his songs since they got back. They remind him of his sweet girl.

“I was so offended. I still didn't know anything about music but I had already decided that I would be a rocker. If I hadn't already been so dazzled by her I would have left without looking back.”

“And what did you answer to defend your honor?”

"You think so?" The three of them start laughing while still crying. A heartbreaking mix of pain comes from their chests.

“C’mon guys, next stop.”

The three of them were teletransporting around the city during the day without any success. Luke's desperation increasing for every place the songwriter wasn't.

At night the three decide to go back to the studio. Luke is heartbroken, bloated after crying all day, eyes red and sore, and whatever it was that was driving him to continue, off.

His friends couldn't do much for him either because each was living the loss in their own way, concentrating on living their own pain until they could process it.

Julie wraps them in blankets on the couch and tries to fill them with love, making sure to hug Luke tightly, who seems about to fall apart.

“Does anyone want to talk about her? Maybe it could make you feel better.”

“She was my entire soul, the words and melody in each of my songs. I just, I love her more than anything in this world. I would give anything for her. My guitar, my voice, my songs, whatever it took for us to be together. I know it doesn't seem like it at this point, but we belong together.”

“We know you do, man.”

“I didn't tell you but I dream about her almost every night since we got back. It is always the same dream. She is in bed, leaving my side intact. She's wearing one of my shirts and hugging my favorite one while sobbing. She falls asleep listening to the ballad I wrote for her soaked in tears and no matter how hard I try to wake her up, I can't get her to see or hear me. I can’t get her. After a few minutes she gets up still asleep and begins to dance as we did so many times, but alone. Then she stops and starts crying again inconsolably. And that's when I wake up."

"I'm so sorry, Luke. She deserved so much more." Reggie walks over to hug him, his head resting on his arm while he sobs.

“We couldn't even say goodbye to her.” Alex cries, his eyes completely red.

“We already know that she visited your graves, perhaps we could do the same, dedicate a few words to her.” Julie offers in an attempt to help them find some peace.

Luke looks devastated, but he nods his head as tears continue to fall from his face, the ring that his girlfriend gave him going in and out of his finger. Alex hugs Julie while she strokes his hair in an effort to calm him down and Reggie runs up to get a notebook and pencil to start planning what to say to his best friend tomorrow.

The three of them hang around all night, crying, writing, hugging, remembering the spark of Sunset Curve. In the morning before going to visit her, they realize is exactly the 25th anniversary of that tragic night that changed the lives of the four forever. Luke nearly punches a hole in the wall upon hearing the sad coincidence.

Her grave is right next to Luke's, who has never been here before and can't help but feel a bit anxious.

“Don’t worry, I’ll start.” Reggie tells the guitarist as he takes a step forward, a small smile on his lips.

"Hello, princess. Long time, huh? I'm Reggie, by the way. In case you don't recognize me from the slight change in my hair. I am trying a little more gel, I want something more elegant and classic. What do you think? Yes, I also thought you would like it.” Julie and Alex smile at hearing him talk to her as natural as possible.

“I tried very hard to think of what to say, because if there is anyone who deserves my best words, it is you. And three things came to mind that I want to share with you.

First, the color yellow.

Yellow like the guitar you were saving for two years to buy. You did everything. You were a babysitter, you walked dogs, you worked in the school library, you sang with your old acoustic guitar in every cafe, basically everything that will let you win some money.

And the day before you could finally go buy it, my dad broke my bass in a moment of anger in one of his typical fights with mom that got really out of hand. At least he didn’t hurt her, huh? But when you're a kid you don't even think about the possibility that something like that could happen, you just focus on the broken instrument in your hand. I ran out and ended up on the stairs of your house with my face soaked and one of the broken pieces in my hand.

You hugged me and promised that everything would be fine. That I was always going to have you four and that we would always be family. You assured me that good things happen to good people. And I believed you, you know? You were always right. But now that I'm here, that I know you didn't have the happy ending you deserved, I'm honestly not so sure anymore.”

Luke and Alex start crying again, each hugging Reggie from one side. Reg tries with all his might to continue through the tears, while Julie looks at them with a broken heart.

“The next day when I came back from school a new bass was on my bed. You talked to Mom so she could take the credit for the gift, but coincidentally was exactly the bass that I fell in love with a year earlier when we went to check if your beloved yellow guitar hadn't dropped in price. Luke revealed to me a few months later that you had to borrow money from your mom in order to complete the exact money for that one.

How generous do you have to be in order to do something like that? how noble? How loving? How selfless? You were always more than I deserved. I was supposed to be like an older brother for you, but it was always you who took care of me. I have Julie and Carlos, and I'm trying to be with them as you were with me. I had the best step sister in the world to teach me, and I hope I can do you justice.” Julie starts crying too after hearing his words, and resists the urge to going to hug him because she knows that they need their space to let go all the suffering that they carry.

“Second, my leather jacket.

When we started the band we made a 100% commitment to being rockstars. And a very important part is the look. You accompanied me on a walk around the city looking for the right outfit to literally go sing to the people who were lining up in front of the clubs.

Anyone could have left me alone on that for multiple reasons, not even these two wanted to face the trouble. But you followed me without thinking twice.

The afternoon was over and we still haven't found anything. Our feet couldn't take it anymore and we had 10 minutes to run to the club. But we stopped by a little store that had a black leather jacket in the window and you said, Reg, this is it.

You excitedly took me by the hand and when I tried it on, the rest was history.

Then I tried to get the whole band to use them but these two boys without fashion sense didn’t want to. You, on the other hand, supported me and wore your leather jacket during all the Sunset Curve performances we had, convincing me that they were our good luck charms and that if we both used them everything would be amazing. Oh god, I miss you so much.

And third, a star.

I thought you were a star when I heard you sing for the first time.

I thought you were a star when you and Luke managed to write the whole Sunset Curve album in 2 months.

I thought you were a star when you bought me my bass, when you made Alex feel better after one of his strongest attacks, when you filled Luke with love and support when he needed it the most.

And I believe it now that I know you are gone.

If you are in heaven, you have to be a star. And not just a star, the brightest star of all. I promise to look for your light every night to wish you sweet dreams. I will also sing you some country since you were the only one who appreciated my incredible sound, I hope it makes you smile.”

“That was beautiful, Reggie. I’m sure she loved it.” Julie finally reaches out to hug him as Alex prepares to be next.

“Hey. I don’t even know where to start.

I- I guess I should start saying I could never pay you all the times you were there to pick me up when I needed someone the most. I went back to dancing a little again. It's not the same without you, but somehow it makes me feel you close. I also met someone, oh Y/N, he’s so special, I'm sure you would have loved him and I would have loved the opportunity to introduce him to you. You were always there.

You were there to support me when I decided to learn drums to cope with my anxiety. You sang the song I was practicing over and over to keep me company and reassure me that what I was doing sounded good.

You were there to support me when I told you I like to dance. We spent hours choreographing different iconic songs and just laughing and enjoying creating more memories together.

Not shocking at this point but you were also there for me when I confessed to my parents I’m gay and you gave me strength all those times that I wanted to fall because they no longer saw me the same way.

You were always my safe place. And I regret with all my heart that I couldn’t be yours.”

Alex breaks down. She kept them on their feet during her darkest days and they paid her off by causing her the most horrible pain imaginable. Julie and Reggie surround her in their arms while sobbing. The last one of the band standing moves closer to the grave and drops to his knees.

“I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so fucking sorry.” Luke tries to be strong, but tears start falling like waterfalls from his eyes, his face red in a mixture of despair, sadness and anger.

“I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone. Baby, I've been without you for only 1 month and I’m going crazy, even with the boys and Julie by my side. I don't even want to imagine what you must have been through those two years. My soul is shattered just thinking about it.

At first when we returned I imagined you were happy after having fulfilled all our plans with someone else. And I thought nothing could hurt me more than that, but obviously I was wrong. Because although it hurt me that I couldn’t be the one who was with you, thinking that you had been happy gave me the peace to be able to continue. Now that I know that life took away your opportunity, the only thing I feel is anger.

Anger towards me, anger towards destiny. Anger at not being able to be together even after death. Since we discovered where you are, I have only been able to think of cross over and finally be with you again.

Or at least go back to the night before everything turned into a nightmare. Fall asleep with you in my arms one more time.

I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss, as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“Hello again, my love.

I can't believe 25 years have passed. First of all, I want you to know that I'm okay. Or well, the equivalent for ghosts that are destined to haunt the earth alone for all eternity. I made a friend for several years, Rose. I told you about her, remember? I know you guys would have been good friends, she was a ridiculously talented musician. Since she died I no longer had the strength to go back to the studio, but for a long time I enjoyed her company in one of my favorite places. She promised to tell you that I'm waiting for you. I will wait whatever time is necessary, okay? I love you so much, baby.

You three are always on my mind, and I think I can finally accept that the pain is just never going to go away. But lately something super strange has happened to me, let me tell you.

Throughout these years, in the darkest days, I see you. But, they were always memories.

A month ago, I started to see you having other kinds of experiences and I honestly don't know how to feel about it. Am I going that crazy? I selfishly hoped that you too were ghosts for so many years. I looked for you 5, 10, 15, 20 years. And just as I decide to give up, my head imagines you all over the city.

The first time I saw you singing Reggie's jam on the beach. You guys looked so happy, love. It filled my heart with peace for a few seconds, knowing that somewhere up there you are enjoying life singing together all day.

Then I saw my beloved Alex with a cute boy. My heart melted, I can’t even explain how much I wanted to run to hug him and gossip about it.

Baby, he looked so peaceful. I always wanted that for Alex. I didn't know whether to be happy or cry because that didn’t actually happen, so I did both.

The penultimate time was a few nights ago when I was walking in front of the Orpheum and I heard your voices. How wicked my mind is, right? A knife to the heart would hurt less.

And now, I can't even get close to your grave because I'm imagining you all again.”

Y/N doesn't know what to do, if she gets close enough will they disappear? What If they don’t? Will she bear to see them up close? She has been dancing with their ghosts in her dreams for so many years, but It’s not the same as doing it when she is fully awake.

She is about to run out of there in fear when the silhouette of a fourth person catches her attention. She doesn't know why, but it immediately reminds her of Rose. Could it be that she is imagining her friend too?

Curiosity is stronger than fear, like all those times when she got into trouble with her boys. She walks carefully towards her grave which is next to her beloved Luke.

“I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“I don't freaking snore, I told you a million times already... and now I'm talking with my imagination, great.”

The band turns in shock towards the fifth voice. That's when she can see the girl's face and realize who she is.

“Julie? But, how?”

“Y/N?” Alex whispers on the verge of passing out.

She starts to panic, just before the boys can do something about it, a new person appears behind her.

“Hey, you took a long time." She turns around and jumps into the arms of who has become her only friend in recent years.

“Phoenix, thank god.” Her body continues to shake but she clings tightly to her friend while crying uncontrollably.

To say the ghosts are confused would be an understatement. And apart from that, the guitarist is having many conflicts with the jealousy that he is feeling at the moment. They haven't seen each other in 25 years and when they finally do, she runs into someone else's arms and clings to him like her life depends on it.

What does that mean for them? Is it too late?

“Beautiful, what's wrong? Who are they? Oh, wait. You guys were at the club a few weeks ago, you're friends with Willie, right?”

Luke feels like dying all over again hearing him call her that. She continues to shake but finally lets go.

“What? You can see them?”

“Shouldn’t I?” He looks at her skeptical and shifts his eyes from her to the ghosts.

“I- Oh my god. I'm going to pass out.“

“Baby, look at me.” Luke’s voice is a mix between a plea and a demand. The terror of knowing that perhaps he has already lost her without having had the opportunity to fight for her clouds his judgment and tears begin to fall from his face again.

25 years. 25 years fighting not to forget his voice. 25 years having him only in dreams, in memories, in melodies. 25 years waiting for him. 25 years on her own.

She turns slowly to meet those honey-green eyes she craved for so long to see, a painful smile from Luke makes her smile through tears.

She carefully lifts her right hand and gently draws it to his cheek, almost exploding at the feel of it.

“You came back. Oh my, It’s really you.” She jumps to the guitarist, entwining her legs at his hips, her arms tangled with all her strength around him, her head buried in his neck inhaling his scent. Tears coming out as if to drown her, all the pain and suffering that she faced all these years finally leaving her body.

Luke wraps her tightly in his arms, still unable to process what’s happening.

Alex and Reggie begin to smile without fully assimilating what is happening, while Julie begins to jump of joy.

“Babygirl, I'm sorry to ruin the moment but I have to rush to the club. Will you be okay here?"

“She's always safe with me." The guitarist growls, and Y/N starts laughing when she hears it.

"The jealous, protective baby in the beanie is right, don't worry Nix. I’ll go and find you later."

Phoenix nods with a smile and disappears. Julie begins to scold Luke while Reggie and Alex approach to touch the cheek of their best friend, still in the arms of the guitarist who does not seem to have any intention of letting go.

“We should go home to catch up. Reggie and I will accompany Julie, it seems that you two should speak alone first." Luke doesn't think twice and disappears with her in his arms.

“Good things happen to good people.” Reggie whispers as he hugs his friends and they start walking home.

Luke and Y/N reappear in the studio and they are both shocked for a few seconds. The girl trembles again in fear of dreaming.

“Hey, come here baby. Shh, I’m here, I promise.”

“Don’t leave me ever again, please.” He can see that it is very difficult for her to understand that is really happening, and to think that she lived without him not 2 but 25 years makes him want to cry again.

“I won’t. I promise, beautiful. Never again.” Luke wraps her in his arms, but she lifts her head from his chest to push her lips against his. The kiss is urgent, but they both instantly recognize each other and fit in perfectly. Luke picks her up again and gently lays her down on the couch, both desperate to feel the other, to recognize every inch.

“I missed you so much baby, I love you more than anything.” Luke whispers between kisses, not willing to have her an inch away from him.

“I love you my love. I love you, I love you, I love you.” She says while kissing the love of her life, happy for the first time in 25 years.

Before things get to escalate, the rest of the band shows up in the studio followed by Julie who clearly walks through the door.

"Let go of her man, it's our turn!" Y/N gets up quickly from the sofa while her boyfriend complains and she throws herself at both of them who pick her up as best they can and spin her in the air.

They put her down and Julie and her stare each other, both raise their arms and meet in a quick but sweet hug.

“You said my name back there, how?” The question that she has stuck since she met her finally coming to light.

“I met your mom many years ago when I came to visit the studio and realized that she could see me. We were friends for many years and I had the opportunity to see you grow up, but I always made sure to be upstairs when you came in in case you could see me too.”

“Well, now I understand how Carlos felt when he found out that we lived with ghosts. And It sounds like mom watches over us both from heaven.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she does.” Both girls smile and hug each other once more.

“I can't believe I endured 25 years without having those beautiful arms around me.” She whispers as they both lie on the couch, Luke has her completely cornered in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, baby. It breaks my heart that you have suffered that much for so many years.”

“It was not your fault. You lost as much as I did that night. Besides, I always knew that you would find me sooner or later. We belong together.”

“We do. I, I k-know we have way more to talk about but, who was the dude from the cementery?”

The insecurity in his voice is evident and Y/N can't help but smile. His emotions are complex, real, and nothing can make her happier than that.

“I’ll tell you all about my friend later, okay? For now... dance with me? I want to dance with the real deal.” He smiles and they both stand up, hugging each other as they slowly move through the studio as they did many times before life separated them.

The Luke in her arms is her Luke, the same one she has been waiting for so many years, finally back in her arms. And just as she thought when she lived, she will dance with his ghost for all eternity.

Thank you for reading✨✨

Taglist: @writerinlearning, @ghostofmgg @strangerthanfanfiction713, @thebloodthirstyvampress, @kinda-really-lost, @kcd15, @magnet-girl, @aliandthephantoms, @stxrkspidey, @pinkrockstar19, @s0uz4s, @shycupcakealissa @cookiebuba, @fangirlangioma, @sageellsworth05, @twist3dtinkerbell, @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve, @caitsymichelle13, @ifilwtmfc, @luckylouiebug, @bibliophilewednesday, @totomoshi, @siennanoelle01, @lunashadow6955, @bookfrog247, @morganayennefertyrell, @kiss-themoongoodbye, @rachelle3musicals, @imsydneywalker, @really-dont-forget-it @agentstarkid @talksoprettyjjx @kaitieskidmore1 @lukeys-giggle @katie-navarro @crybabyddl @cocopuffs0211 @marvel-ousnesss @blackhood5sos @tessxblxckthorn

Goy tags: @eternalharry @xplrreylo

[south-park-meta]

why do you think cartman is abusing stan? they get along ok

I think Cartman's abusive towards everyone with Kyle and Butters getting the worst of it. But I have come around more to the way Cartman's abusive to Stan than when I made my initial analysis of their relationship. I said there that Cartman attacked things that mostly Stan's not bothered by, and some of that's true. Like, attacking him for caring about animals isn't something that affects him very often.

But with that said, there IS a core of attacking Stan for (lacking) masculinity and that actually does seem to be something he's anxious about...just not to Cartman directly. Cartman regularly calls him a pussy, gay, weak, seeming like a girl. The Cissy is probably the best example of the name-calling because it encompasses basically all of it

Do you know your girlfriend's going around tellin' everyone that you're gay?! [Stan looks around] Oh yeah! She's got the whole school believin' that she's attracted to girls, but she's dating you! So what does that make you, Stan?! A girl! STAN-AN'S A GIR-RL! You'd better curb your dog, Stan! You'd better curb your dog before people start ripping on you!

He tells Stan he's too weak to control his girlfriend, that he's gay, and that he's a girl all at once. Stan actually has a reaction (looking around, looking nervous, and he does end up talking to his dad and Principal Victoria. Cartman GOT a reaction, just not one he wanted).

The thing is, Stan's masculinity IS the thing he's most defensive of, and is his 'weak point' in relation to Kyle being Jewish, Kenny being poor, Butters being naive. He gets nervous about seeming gay and has to overcome it. He does get ripped on/ name-called/dismissed for not being manly enough or seeming gay by both his uncle, who he looks up to, and his dad, who he does (for most of the show) have a mutually loving relationship with. MOST of the 'Stan has a moment of character growth in the way of accepting who he is' comes down to him being okay with shirking stereotypical masculinity. Cartman is a master at honing in on weaknesses and he ABSOLUTELY has Stan's down.

So, then, why doesn't Cartman really tear the shit out of him more?

The thing is that Stan doesn't rise to the bait in angry outbursts. Kyle does. Kenny does, sometimes, too. Butters is specifically dismissed as a Kyle punching bag replacement because he doesn't. But Cartman also can't just casually abuse him constantly the way he does Butters, or put Stan's dick in his mouth while he sleeps, or give him a poop moustache, because Stan would up and leave the friendship, or actually physically beat him up. It has to be a verbal or emotional, non-physical attack. Stan doesn't get ripped on by Cartman more because he doesn't tend to take the bait in a way that would be fun and would let Cartman continue to feed off of it and really tear him to pieces.

So why doesn't Stan take the bait? Is he not upset by it?

The thing is he DOES get upset about this kind of thing. He just tends not to confront it directly. Instead he tends to want to compensate for the accusations. He tries to force Sparky to be straight. He doesn't play along at the wild west show because Wendy's there. He shoots and kills Skuzzlebutt. He becomes hypercritical of Gary and chews him out for Mormonism. And in each and every one of these cases, the best choice is consistently for him not to worry about seeming like anything except what he is. I think The Cissy is a step forward for him in, instead of outright denying who he is, he just sits down and questions it instead. Personally I think there hasn't been another comment on it since he came to the conclusion he is a boy (I know there're nb headcanons for him and I won't pick at it too much because I don't think it runs contrary to his character per se, I just don't agree with it. I see it as more of another masculinity introspection than really specifically a gender one), but I think it's a step forward for his character growth. He has multiple times gone through an arc of 'hide who you are, then realize who you are is really an asset', and sometimes that gets to a point of 'fuck what people think' but often it just kind of is what it is and he doesn't really do anything with it. He still cares about not being manly enough, and often the lesson of it is 'yeah you ARE kind of a pussy but it's fine, people will like you anyway, or being a pussy is beneficial to helping people'. While the recent seasons have made Stan more depressed and miserable, he's also FINALLY starting to get to a point of-- instead of worrying what makes other people like him, what makes him an asset to other people-- 'What makes me like myself? What makes me who I am?'

ANYWAY with all that said, the reason Cartman doesn't get much out of moments like this is that Stan often doesn't have a reaction, period. Sometimes it's because he probably literally doesn't care. He doesn't always value Cartman's opinion, and he does seem able to let a lot of comments go as just being bullshit. The other thing is that if it actually gets to the point of GETTING a reaction, it's not one that would be fun for Cartman. Literally the only thing that's ever come out of Stan reacting to the insecurity that Cartman harps on (whether because of Cartman or not) is that he either suppresses or questions it, and decides he likes himself more as he was to start with. Like he very consistently has improved himself through being criticized on this very point.

So does he have a point that Cartman can hurt him on?

Absolutely, and that point is Kyle.

Stan consistently has stronger, more hurt, more violent reactions to Cartman when it's Kyle that Cartman's going after. When Cartman makes a comment that Kyle's going to die, Stan tells him not to say things like that (even though people regularly die or talk about death around them). When Cartman's treating Kyle unfairly and Kyle can't do anything about it himself, Stan rights it. Even when Stan and Kyle aren't getting along, multiple seasons after Stan told Kyle that he was destroying the last thread of friendship they had left by siding with Cartman in the GOT arc, he still takes tit-for-tat revenge on Cartman in Band in China for Kyle's sake.

The way to get Kyle to respond in a fun way is for Cartman to attack Kyle.

The way to get Stan to respond in a fun way is for Cartman to attack Kyle.

I think it's noteworthy that when Cartman checks out on the 'broship' it's after Stan has checked out on Kyle, and pointedly stayed out of Kyle's fight with Cartman even after Kyle asked him to get involved with it. It's not worth keeping Stan tied in to the group because he's not coming to Kyle's defense, so there's no fun to be had in Stan hanging around. It's ALSO noteworthy that Kyle is equally blindsided by both of them.

But, okay, Cartman is nice to Stan sometimes. He's probably nicer to him than he is pretty much any other character. I think Cartman was playing a balancing act and lost.

He wants Stan and Kyle to be friends, because their friendship is important to get them both riled up. But he wants himself to be the most important to both of them, and that means he HAS to knock them down a peg in each other's opinions. They need to be friends with each other, good enough friends that Stan wants to defend Kyle when Cartman's mean to him and Kyle can't defend himself. It's no fun if Kyle's literally defenseless and Cartman gets jack for a reaction. But they have to be best friends with Cartman, because Cartman has a massive ego. This is a pretty damn hard line to walk.

But here are some nice things that Cartman's done for Stan:

-He came and hung out with him on Tegridy, and had solo activities bonding with him through board games and things like that.

-He helped Stan with the drug ring in Hummels and Heroin

-He saved the pangolin

The first two things are a clear spit in Kyle's face. Kyle is the core group who seems most disconnected from what's going on on Tegridy. Cartman is very clearly trying to take Kyle's place as Stan's go-to. Around(ish, keeping in mind the show's internal timeline) the same time, through the GOT arc, he is focusing his attention on bonding with Kyle.

Likewise, Kyle tells Stan outright he's not going to help with the Hummels problem in the second case. Cartman gets involved because Stan says he 'needs' him. He's willing to help because it puts him in direct competition with Kyle; he's helping Stan when Kyle told him to figure it out himself. He is weasling in on the best friend role.

In the last case, I think it's because he still wanted the 'broship' to work, and like I said I think he did up until Stan gave up on his friendship with Kyle. Stan's having a complete mental breakdown, which would cause issues and not be enjoyable on Cartman's end, so he'll give him a bone and let him maintain his sanity so Cartman can keep having fun pitting Stan and Kyle against each other while being besties with them both. He just flew too close to the sun and lost with it because Stan was teetering on the edge for the friendship since YGO and the next episode pushed him over.

In conclusion, Cartman's actions with Stan are 100% meant to manipulate him and emotionally destroy him. It just happens that Stan takes attacks on himself pretty internally and might even come out stronger for it. So for the most part if everything else is going fine, he's a tough nut to crack. The stuff that really fucks him up and tears him apart mentally is attacking Kyle, or attacking his friendship with Kyle.

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S5 E12 (Jaime/Hiram) - 5 Things I loved/ 3 Things to consider

5 Things I loved

1. The music selections for the Jaime to Hiram transitions were delirious and filled me with joy.  I admit up front I’ve never heard any of these songs before, so if they turn out to be a horrible kind of misappropriation or desecration or something I will feel bad. In any case - Riverdale commits to giving you a dose of the surreal every episode.  The difficulty with doing that in this episode is that  the stories being told in it are unusually straightforward, even staid, for  Riverdale.  So they went to town with the sound track.   

There’s a song  (Demolicion by the band Narco) that sounds like it’s being sung by the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Toons on a bender - it’s just rawararwrarawrar. All these songs about Hiram ‘being bad’ and mentioning the ‘devil’ are so on the nose that the nose gets broken and pushed right into the skull (the title of the song is literally Devil Devil).

2.  I love that Hermione Gomez wears huge 80s glasses that completely overwhelm her little face and yet Jaime hits on her and thinks the world of her.  It helps to have that face, I grant you, but as someone who took the Dorothy Parker quote, Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses, very very personally back in the day, I LOVE that Jaime/Hiram has no such qualms.  Did everyone notice the bust of Nefertiti that’s positioned right behind Hermione the whole time Hiram is successfully asking her out? I did and it cracked me up.

3. I loved that nothing in this story about Jaime Luna makes Hiram Lodge even a little bit sympathetic to me.  Hiram is an out and out villain, and I love that.  I’ve been sick of villain backstory narratives that are like, Bad Things Happened To This Man So We Must Identify With His Homicidal Impulses that keep coming out, but this episode didn’t do that.

a) Hiram is in so many ways a textbook abusive husband, and the only thing that distinguishes him from the more stereotypical abuser is that he doesn’t actually punch his victim (he just shoots at her using other people’s guns).  Abusers blame their victims for ‘causing’ them to commit abuse.   The same is true here. The story that Hiram tells Reggie about his life pretends to be about his father, but is actually all about the fact that it’s Hermione’s fault that he’s a gangster.  She’s the one who likes the fancy clothes and the fancy car, the one who names him Hiram Lodge,  the one who is turned on by Hiram working for gangsters, the one that goes to the gangsters (rather than his father or her mother or any other adult) to get Hiram out of jail.   It’s all her fault and she owes him.  This is in addition to his usual, You’re my wife and I own you.

I am right back to being very worried about Hermione.

b) Hiram pretends to be giving ‘life advice’ about fathers and sons to Reggie.  Hiram has direct knowledge that Marty Mantle is a piece of shit, and that Reggie has a very trouble relationship with him, and that Marty absolutely does not respect Reggie at all whatsoever (“Reggie is a fool.”)   Hiram uses Reggie and then ditches him when he’s done.   Hiram makes Reggie an accessory to murder, which nets nobody anything at this point other than Hiram’s own blood lust - and possibly tying up loose ends because Vito is someone who can correct this yarn that Hiram is spinning about his origin - then breaks his heart.  Marty Mantle is not only a dad who beat his son - he’s a dad that does not ask his son “Where did you get the money” when the son pays off a huge debt to a known criminal, and is only relieved that he’s no longer on the hook.  He also tellingly asks Reggie, “That’s what you got from my story?” indicating that this is a story rather than a testimony. 

4. I loved the very anti-straight men commentary the show keeps sneaking in.  Like, straight marriage is the worst, especially the ones that produce biological offspring, according to Riverdale.  Marty Mantle absolutely despises sex. He’s a guy who sells sexy cars to other guys for a living, and yet he hates talking about getting laid in one. He hates his beautiful sensual son, too, for being sexually successful and comfortable in his body. Both Reggie (described by the gay-bi Fangs as “very straight” even after kissing him) and Hiram (who is basically a Hermione-sexual at this point) have comically fetishistic relationships with cars and shoes, lovingly wiping down these objects at the start of each day.  All the straight men say the word “shame” several times -I’m ashamed of you/ I feel shame/ so ashamed/ shame.

5. I continue to adore “I am not in high school any more” Reggie Mantle.  Growing up to be a slightly sleazy car salesman is the one of the few character developments for Grown Riverdale that both makes sense and isn’t depressing.  Core Four, Cheryl and Polly are all extremely depressing and supportable with logic.  Toni and Fangs make out OK but they were also underdeveloped in the first four seasons. (I am too upset to talk about Sweet Pea).  I was moved by his tearing up while very quietly confronting his father, and I was moved by his boyish attempt at trying to show his new boss that he’s not just the muscle.  Oh and he’s so beautiful, did I say that already?  There’s so much face in Reggie’s face - strong brows, deep set eyes, those cheekbones, that jawline, that MOUTH. 

Three Things to Think About

a. Why is Jughead narrating this?   Jughead is unusually wrong about a lot of things in his opening narration, and I assume this is intentional.  Jughead seems to use the words hero and protagonist interchangeably, and also I guess hasn’t seen Joker because most villains and antiheros also always get their origin stories too. (There’s a theory that what we’re watching is the Betty Cooper serial killer origin story, for example).   Has Jughead not watched “Citizen Kane” because he asks “What is his rosebud?” about Hiram,  BUT WE ARE NOT TOLD.   Jughead sounds jealous of Reggie, frankly, and he’s wrong when he says Hiram collects lost souls.  What OTHER lost souls does Hiram have near him?   And who the heck is S5 Jughead Jones calling LOST?

b. What Reggie really wants to do - and possibly also Hiram - is to wear a suit and carry a briefcase.   It’s just very White Collar Aspirant that isn’t fully explored. Like, how the 50 shades of grey movie was really about sitting in a board room negotiating a contract and having pretty women in suits bring you tea -  that was the erotic highlight of that movie.   We live in capitalism, so getting to use the accoutrement of the Wall St capitalist is the true fantasy.

c.  The point of this episode that the show is making to the viewer is this: A straightforward narrative, where gangsters act like gangsters, and fathers and sons have realistic misunderstandings and conflicts, is something we’re capable of doing.  We just don’t want to. 

[jatphantomsimagines]

Before Us (2) | Luke Patterson

Synopsis: In 1995, Sunset Curve was set to play The Orpheum. 25 years later they wake up in a whole new world and Luke finds somebody he once used to know.

Authors Note: I apologize ahead of time because this chapter is mainly filler, just gotta move the story along (and also show y’all Julie + Riley’s friendship)

PREVIOUS | NEXT

__/—–\__

All night long all Riley could think about was how quiet Julie had been at school after her crying session in the hallway. She was worried, so she decided upon waking up that she would head over to Julie’s house and walk with her to school. 

She had made it quickly, her thoughts clouded with the music that flooded through her headphones. They were old recordings she had found of her mom’s music, having moved them to her computer and changing them to a playable format. It was comfortable for her to be able to hear her mom, being able to sing along with her. Every so often there would be a duet, a boy's voice chiming in and singing along. 

Riley wasn’t sure who it was, not knowing much about her mom’s past besides what her dad had told her. This mystery man sang in Riley’s ears, her nerves calming and easing her anxieties about walking into Julie’s house unannounced. 

Walking up to the house, she could hear something coming from the backyard and she removed one of her headphones. Riley made her way down the stairs to Julie’s garage, heading over to the doors she could hear the familiar sound of piano chords being played and Julie’s voice ringing out through the open air. She echoed, energy seeming to buzz around Riley causing the hair on her arms to stand up. 

Tears came into her eyes and before she could stop herself she was running over and pushing the door open and looking Julie dead on. The girl continued singing, a smile lighting up her face and their gazes meeting. Julie finished singing and called the girl over, Riley joining the girl on the piano bench. The feeling was familiar, having been in this position so many times throughout their childhood. 

As Julie was about to speak up, both their attentions were brought over to the door where Flynn was storming in. 

“Carlos told me you’d be out here.” The two stared her down, waiting for her to continue. “The three of us need to talk.” 

“Are you okay?” Julie asked, Riley motioning for the girl to come closer to the piano, genuine worry flitting across her face. 

“No, I’m not okay Julie. You just got kicked out of music! I’ve been up all night thinking about what I was going to say. Might’ve drank seven sodas, but I need to get this out.” 

Riley couldn’t help but giggle, piping up quietly. “I thought that was how you spent most nights.” 

Flynn turned to look at the girl, rolling her eyes the same way Julie did when she was teased. Riley knew that the girls loved her antics, and even if they got annoyed sometimes they wouldn’t hesitate to be the first people to fight for her. 

“Look Julie, you can’t give up music. And Riley agrees.” Riley shook her head, looking very serious as Flynn motioned to her. “Your music is like a gift so that would be a tragedy. So, you’re basically cancelling Christmas, and I love Christmas.”

“May I add, I also love Christmas.” Julie couldn’t help but laugh at that comment, Flynn continuing on her rant without even batting an eyelash.

“When we were six we all promised to be in a band together. The Triple Threat.”

“I never agreed to that name.” Julie piped up. 

“Yeah well Riley did and that’s two versus one, anyways! Jules, if you leave the music program the three of us will be apart forever. That’s just what happens.” She joined the other two on the bench and Riley reached around Julie so she could rub Flynn’s back lightly. She knew that the other girl was over exaggerating but her worries were still valid and Riley wanted to ease them. 

“Sure we’ll see each other in the hall sometime, but we’ll have different lives, make new friends.”

“That’s not true. Can I please talk now?” Julie pleaded with the other girl and Flynn finally relented. “I just played the piano and sang again.”

A look of shook covered Flynn’s face and she laughed, looking between the two girls in disbelief. Riley nodded, still not quite believing it herself that her best friend was playing music again. 

“What? Why didn’t you just say so?”

“Well she would've had you not barged in and let your seven soda’s kick in.” Riley pointed out. 

“I’m so happy for you! And us!” She quickly grabbed Riley’s hand and squealed. “Look at you, looking all, I don’t know, alive again!”

“What made you play again?” Riley asked, bumping her shoulder gently about Julie’s. She was curious, wondering if Julie had managed to work through her grief during the night. 

“I found this song my mom wrote me.” She paused showing the two girls the song on the piano. Riley read it over and felt her heart clench. The song was all about moving on and moving forward, exactly what Julie needed right now. She hugged the girl tightly, still holding Flynn’s hand and giving it a squeeze. 

“I was so afraid to play it. Anything involving music reminds me of her. And then I woke up this morning, realizing that’s why I should play it. To keep her memory alive.” Flynn awed slightly and moved closer, wrapping herself around Julie’s other side and joining the group hug. Flynn gasped, pulling away quickly and speaking. 

“We need to tell Mrs. Harrison you can play so you can stay in school and our lives won’t be the awful pictures I just painted for you.” Riley laughed, standing up and dragging both girls with her. They made their way out of the garage together, Julie stopping to close the door behind herself. 

“Oh hey.” Julie speaking caused both Flynn and Riley to turn around and face the girl. Riley raised an eyebrow as Julie stared at the empty space next to her and Flynn coughed. She turned to look at the girls, realizing they were still there. “Let’s hustle.” 

And with that Julie was ushering the two girls off and on their way to school. The three of them huddled together laughing and talking about how they were going to convince Mrs. Harrison to let Julie stay in the music program. 

The easiest decision the three of them could come up with was to let Julie perform in front of her, hoping that Julie’s “killer voice and pure talent” would blow her away, Flynn’s words. Riley agreed, piping in that once Mrs. Harrison heard Julie again she would let her back into the program. 

Time seemed to pass by quickly as the three of them talked and talked, laughing away at each other’s stupid okes and making silly quips here and there. The energy around the three of them was comfortable, a relaxing presence that brought all of them some peace. 

“Do you think she’ll really let me back in?” Julie asked as the three girls walked up and into the school. 

“She has too, you’re too good to let go.” Riley answered. 

`

“Believe me, I think it’s wonderful that you sang again. I prayed for this moment for almost a year. But it’s too late.” Mrs. Harrison gave the girls an apologetic look and Riley felt her shoulders slump. There was no way it could end like this. She hadn’t even given Julie an actual chance to prove herself. 

“But what if you just hear her play, you know she’s amazing.” Riley pleaded. Mrs. Harrison shook her head. 

“It wouldn’t matter. A new student starts tomorrow. There’s only--” 

“So many spots.” Julie finished, knowing the line by now. “And if I don’t participate, I’m out. I know.” 

“I did everything I could to keep you here this year, but Principal Lessa was very clear that yesterday was your last chance. You’ll have to reapply next semester.” The bell rang as Mrs. Harrison finished explaining the situation to the girls and Riley couldn’t help but feel as if they had lost one of the most important battles of their lives. 

They had worked so hard, she had seen the progress Julie had made, had even heard her sing alone that morning. The sound of Julie finally letting go of all the pent up emotions she had been harboring and pouring them out into the best version of themselves. 

“I’m truly sorry.” She finished. Students began to file in for the next class and Riley led the girls out of the room, Flynn slinging her arm around Julie’s shoulders, trying to offer some comfort from the situation. 

The girls looked between each other and Riley sighed, the familiar action of her hands sliding into her pockets offering her some minor comfort. The jacket she wore belonged to her mother, something she had seen her wearing many times in photos of her own youth, and while Julie played music to stay connected to her mother, Riley went through her things and wore her clothes. 

“This sucks.” She kicked her toe into the ground, rubbing her shoe until a small sprout of pain surfaced. A frown stayed placed on her lips, Julie looking up at her and taking her hand in her own. 

“It’s going to be okay, I’ll get in next semester.”

“But you’re playing music now! You should be allowed to have the tools and training that we do, who cares if you needed some time.” Riley groaned and gripped her hair in hands. Julie ran over quickly, recognizing the action as a stress habit the other had developed after being in the car accident that killed her mother.  

“Riley, breathe.” Julie led the breaths, placing a hand on Riley’s diaphragm, just as her mother had done when the girl would have panic attacks at their home. After a few moments of breathing, Riley calmed down and the urge to pull at herself went away. 

“Thank you, mi cielo.”

-

Before Us Tags:

@vicesvsvirtuesfanfic​ @dpaccione​ @ashleyleblancx​

[arrow-dodger]

The thing about Casey.

I always find it wild how Casey is a constant in my life, amongst all the other wreckage. We don't talk all that much but I know if I needed something he would be there for me, and honestly if he needed something I'd do my best for him too. And like, it's funny to me because nobody gets that. And I don't even REALLY get it.

Like, everyone I know thinks Casey is my worst ex. I find this exceedingly hilarious because our relationship is comparatively SO fucking short. We were in each other's lives originally for the span of about 11 months, maybe 8 or 9 of which collectively we were officially in a relationship. Compared to 4+ years with Cody (and 2-3 years of friendship preceding), 3 years with Josh, 2 collective years official and uhhhh like fucking 9 YEARS altogether with Andrew, the Casey relationship is but a blip in time. And it was when I was in fucking high school.

But no, somehow it IS true that he did THAT much damage and made THAT many people hate him. To this day my friends and family abhor him and would run him over if given the chance. I often have people say that if I ever got murdered, Casey would be the number one suspect (Drew Imhoff literally exists, but go off). Not one person understands my relationship with him still being as cordial as it is. And yes, I will admit to this day that our relationship was abusive! Emotionally, mentally, even at times sexually!

But like, here's the thing.

First of all, I don't hold things against Casey as much as I know I probably should. But when I think about that relationship I think of two incredibly sick kids who were way in over their head emotionally and had no business being in a relationship that intense at that time. We were young as hell and both had way too much shit to sort out. We were absolutely toxic for each other. It's hard for me to completely victimize myself or demonize him just because I feel so much pity for the fucked up children we were.

And like. I've been thinking about this lately and I think a big part of me having so much love and endearment toward Casey is that he was SO close to me during things where nobody else was. Casey was there with me nearly every day seeing what my home life was like. My filthy house, my non-existent relationship with my parents, my parentification, my depression and self-harm, the abuse from Tom, the back and forth with Andrew, fucking all of it. Casey watched me feed myself, take myself to doctor's appointments, skip school and skip town whenever I wanted, fail my senior year, split my arm open, cry on webcam with Andrew, try to sleep at night with bugs and mice audibly crawling all over the floors and walls, deal with Tom and Erin's shit at pep band, deal with fucking James's shit, deal with all my parents' shit. Nobody else can say all that.

Was he like, GOOD about it? I mean, no, I guess not entirely lmfao. But he was there. I shared experiences with this person that my other friends have only heard stories about, could never fully conceive of. I feel like the bond this created is unspeakable to me. Casey basically lived with me. He was my first boyfriend to do that. Casey is the first person I ever "adulted" with. He watched all my biggest fucking triumphs and failures in real time. He ate Chinese food on my bed with me while we watched Vampire Diaries and tried to pretend my life wasn't constantly on the brink of ending. He cried to Bright Eyes in the Taco Bell drivethru with me. We felt so much together! We made love on my dad's couch at the break of dawn! He's the only man I've ever slapped in the face! THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING!

Casey is also one of the only people in my life who has ever given me a sincere apology and I feel like I cannot stress enough how important that is to me. Years after we cut each other out he reached out to me with absolutely nothing to gain and owned up to absolutely everything without any excuses attached. Casey has never tried to blame his actions on anything or anyone else, not even mental illness (which I think it's pretty clear we both suffered from like, intensely at the time of our relationship), not his fucked up family, not even Andrew lol. He was willing to have hard conversations and didn't shy away from any of it or get defensive.

And his behavior has 1000% changed since the apology was made! He has never once relapsed into treating me like shit! He's been nothing but a friend to me for years now. Like, years. Through his relationships, through mine, he has never tried to manipulate me or be sexually creepy toward me or try to win me back or any of the shit other men who have been in my life might pull. We even hung out once and he was a gem the entire time.

And sitting in his old shitty truck with him that day, way the hell back in 2016, I felt nothing but this intense static in the air between us. A palpable energy and chemistry that binds us and a feeling of love that I will never lose no matter how many hard memories there are. No matter how many scars. No matter how many... fuckin kids he has. Or exes who hate me. Or little fuckin snaggleteeth. Because if I choose to love you I'm gonna keep loving you, bitch, even if everyone I know scoffs at the idea.

And I know you're gonna read this eventually so, hey. Here's to us, kid.

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Civic Auditorium Arena in Omaha, NE, USA - September 13, 1980

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Fan Stories

“I don't know if anyone has ever been able to appreciate a rock concert as much as I did when I saw Queen at age 7. I knew the order the songs were supposed to be in, the way the stage was supposed to look, and what the band was supposed to do. And everything happened perfectly. Except for that damn mustache. Late summer 1980, I was pestering my mom to take me into town to get candy. She said, "Do you really want to get candy, or would you rather get tickets to see Queen?" I stopped in my tracks and started being the nicest boy you could imagine. I thought maybe she was kidding, but knew she wouldn't kid me about something like that. I guess my dad had already OKd it too. Like Axl Rose once said about Queen: "They meant everything to me." We drove all the way to Omaha to get tickets: they were $9 in advance, or $11 the day of the show if still available (though now I'm not sure how they weren't sold out immediately). I'm still not quite sure why Queen was playing smaller arenas at that point, since I think they had already begun playing stadiums. Finally, September 13 arrived. I was in 2nd grade. Ads had been all over the radio for this concert. One of my baby-sitters and two of her friends rode up with us also, and they went off on their own when we got there. The show was one of those infamous "general admission" things, so our seats depended solely on how early we arrived. I think we got to the arena at about 9 am... almost a full 12 hours before the show actually started (much longer in 7-year-old hours). A single word, "QUEEN", was boldly displayed on the marquee above the many doors where small lines were beginning to form. Excited bands of people were running/gathering everywhere. Queen was one of the biggest five bands in the world at that time: "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" was on the charts, The Game had just been released, and "Another One Bites the Dust" was soon-to-be released as a single. We picked one of the lines and got ready for what was indeed halfway dangerous: the growing mob of people ready to run in when the doors would open. This was a big issue of the time, as it was the year before that 11 people were crushed to death at the turnstiles of a Who concert. (An episode of the TV show W.K.R.P. in Cincinnati even focused on this.) People were starting to press onto the transparent doors trying to look inside, when suddenly there was the sound of tires screeching from the street: a white limousine honked twice and sped around the corner toward the other side of the arena, and was gone within seconds. The "big kids" screamed and ran after it; I was too small to do this, but we got better places in line! When everyone came back, they said they actually saw Freddie and John get out of it and be scuffled into the building before getting attacked by the mob of people. In the meantime, others around us were starting to talk to my mom. Two of them were a man and a lady who were apparently on date, and they ended up even staying by and sitting by us through the show. Some other people also offered to kind of stay around my mom and I to make sure I'd be safe on the way in. A couple of times, a big fat drunk guy yelled out, "Who's your favorite group?" and of course everyone yelled "Queen!"

Now people were beginning to bang on the doors of the entrance. I think the doors finally opened at around 11 am. When they did, we and other people from several sides of the arena moved in, towards those coming in from other doors on opposite sides: within seconds, everyone had funneled from outside to stopping cold in the lobby, having basically run into each other. This is exactly where everyone stayed for the next two hours. A human shield of several people were intact around my mom and I preventing my being crushed... and all I could see for two hours were a bunch of butts! Once in awhile someone would try and lift me up to see all the people. From the distance, the drunk guy again repeated the "Who's your favorite band?" line a couple of times, realizing that more people could hear him now that he was indoors and echoing, and everyone gave the appropriate response. By the fifth time, only the drunk people were responding to him, and by the tenth time people were laughing and moaning. Every so often, some loud music would come out of the arena like a band was tuning-up, but it wasn't Queen music so everyone figured it was just the opening act. At 1 pm, the turnstiles were finally opened. I was kind of keeping my guard around me as everyone pressed forward, and everything was moving faster the closer we got, but by surveying the area I thought I'd be safe. I had my ticket in my hand. The guy from the couple was going to try and enter first, then me, and then my mom. When I got to the turnstiles, my mom and the guy grabbed my arms on both sides and completely hoisted me over. A surprised old man tore my ticket while I was in mid-air. Suddenly, we were standing relatively calmly inside: the difficult part was over, and we were at least safe from here on out. People were still running everywhere and screaming, but the hallways were pretty big so it wasn't too dangerous as long as we stayed toward the edge. Most people were still outside, since we were somewhat early. An older 12-year-old tore around the corner, then his '70s-style tennis shoes screeched against the floor and he fell down for a second as he decided to which way to go. We knew we were sort of on a mission to walk fast toward a balcony and just get seats instead of wandering around indecisively like others. We went straight up toward the second level balcony, as others ran the opposite way down to the main floor. My mom and I and the people we'd befriended walked right next to the wall, and I pressed against it while just a few feet away scattered groups of people would sometimes run by full-speed. I would have wanted to be on the main floor, but my mom had previously explained to me how, unless we were in the balcony, we would have to actually stand through the whole show (there weren't any chairs on the main floor) and would hardly be able to see anything. Plus, along with the horror stories of people running in at the beginning of a rock concert, I had also heard how people supposedly got crushed to death against the stage... so sitting in the balcony was just fine with me. We got two seats in the front of the second balcony, just by the railing to the balcony below. We were on the right side of the arena, about halfway back, so we couldn't complain. Now, I knew this was the beginning of the biggest wait: sitting in the same spot from 1 in the afternoon to about 9 at night.

The main parts of the stage I liked (from viewing the pictures in my Live Killers album) were intact: the steps were lined with lights under Roger's drums, and middle of the main stage had a small plank stage that stuck out for Freddie to walk on, where the crowd could touch him but not too easily. Most of the instruments, and all of Roger's drum set, were covered in giant sheets of plastic. I'd never seen such big speakers; I had a flashback when I saw the black and white photo to the right because that's what they looked like with the house lights up. Throughout the afternoon, the lights in the arena would go out, then come back on... like we were being teased. Finally when it was about time for the opening band, the lights went off longer than usual and the band took the stage. The opening band was someone we had never heard of, and my mom and I both can't even remember who it was now (two people have e-mailed me saying it was a band called "Dakota"). I don't think they had any hits, and then apparently disappeared soon after. The crowd tolerated the first two or three songs. Then, every song ended with "Just one more song!" much to the audience's vocal dismay. I went on a trip to the bathroom, and they were still playing when I came back. Then they left. Ten minutes later, they came back and said "Just one more song!" and I think they played three. People were yelling, "We want Queen!" People were getting harsh to the point it was just uncomfortable even seeing the band on the stage. Everyone cheered when they left. The lights came back on. Another two hours. Just seeing them walk across the stage would have been enough for me, so at that age I really couldn't comprehend being in their presence for a whole two-hour concert. This wait was easier though because every second we knew the show could start. Seeing Queen still seemed like it was too good to be true, like some act of God would occur just before the show to prevent it. Then, the lights went out. There's no feeling like the wait in total darkness just before a Queen concert. It was 10 minutes of black and the loudest screaming I'd ever heard. I remember it was "scary" and so I think Brian might have also been playing the weeping guitar sound like the beginning of the We Will Rock You concert video. It was a good scary feeling though, like going up the first hill of a roller coaster. After several minutes of intense darkness and the crowd screaming, when I felt like my ears didn't have room for any more sound to enter (though I loved it), the even louder sound of thunder clapped across the arena with an incredibly blinding light. I could see everyone on the main floor have to turn completely around in unison toward the back of the arena because the lights were so bright. I kept trying to glance at the stage to see what was happening, but it was too bright to see anything... plus, in between the flashes, it was too dark to see anything. It was sort of an unnerving state, being totally blinded in that big of a place with that many people, and coming to the realizaton that it would be unthinkable to actually move around and that we were basically helpless. I was holding my mom's hand. Queen had the whole crowd paralyzed in their tracks before the show even began.

I'm not sure if the lights all rose up like in the We Will Rock You video or not (since we couldn't see), or if they were already raised because of the opening band. Eventually the thunder and noise turned to music. Finally, through my wincing, Freddie Mercury was suddenly in front of my own little eyes on the front extended stage in all the smoke. I'd never even seen a celebrity in person before, much less my idol at the time. I didn't think they would open with the fast version of "We Will Rock You" for some reason, since that's at the beginning of the Live Killers album and I thought they would want to do something different, but was surprised that they opened with a non-Queen song: "Jailhouse Rock". The stage looked similar to that in the We Will Rock You concert video, with the smaller panels of lights replacing the single giant panel from previous tours; however, I'm certain there was at least another entire, higher level of moving lights (not only from seeing them at the concert, but also looking at the pictures for years afterwards). The lights in the We Will Rock You video seem extremely cut-back. Instead of one row of panels of lights across the back of the stage, the panels were all over the place and the ones above the band moved straight up and down on poles and tilted back and forth. There were also little men somehow sitting amongst the panels who manually operated at least a dozen spotlights, and more guys doing this from a small section hanging down from the ceiling at the middle of the arena. Since the spotlights were directed from the top of the arena, there wasn't a big bulky spotlight booth in the middle of the main floor taking up space, and the audio booth was placed along the right side of the arena (down not to far from us) so it wasn't in anyone's way. In the darkness between a lot of the songs, flashlights darted around the stage... we couldn't figure out if it was the band or engineers setting things up. Thankfully, no one came out on stage before the show to announce the band (I've always thought this is really cheesy). Freddie had on those red leather pants with the blue knee-pads... and, unfortunately, that ugly mustache! "What do you think about my new mustache?" Freddie asked. (Mixed applause.) "Some people don't like it, but I just say 'fu** 'em.'" (Crowd goes wild.). Freddie drank some water, then tossed the rest out onto the crowd along with his cup. He tossed his tambourine out later, and I couldn't imagine what it would actually be like to touch it. Freddie also had that long silver microphone stand that he always danced around with in the videos. He was running all over the place; one second he was on the plank at our side of the arena, the next at the other side. The three high school girls who rode up with us were excited because when he went to the end of one of the planks he ended up level and close to them in the balcony (but upset because, had one not been on crutches, they would have stayed on the main floor where Freddie tossed his tambourine!). Once or twice I remember looking into the middle of the arena and some kind of explosion occurred in mid-air (apparently launched from the lighting duct at the top of the arena). There weren't that many lighters in the audience, but instead everyone was using those green glow-sticks that come out around Halloween (I think these were new at the time). The audience kept throwing their green glow sticks up on the stage until at times it was covered, and more than once Brian kicked off some back into the audience (and I think he might have been getting upset but I'm not sure!).

There were numerous parts of the show I knew had to be there... and they all were. The first was the "scary" sound effects and section of "Get Down, Make Love", where Queen showed off their lights. (At that age, I thought the erotic sound effects were simply supposed to represent the monster breaking-in on the cover of News of the World). Smoke shrouded the band, as the panels of lights took over and moved around to the audience's ooohs and aaahs. My mom and I were trying to figure out what was on Roger's bass drum, since it didn't look like an album cover; it turned out to be the white "face" design, also in the We Will Rock You video. Back then, concerts didn't have big video screens, so we just had to use the binoculars that we'd brought. Some spotlights were gathering on Freddie and Brian as they went to sit on two stools toward the right of the stage, and my mom got excited because we knew "Love of My Life" was coming. Freddie announced, "This is our first time in Omaha... " as the song started, and got the crowd to sing along like on the Live Killers album. Meanwhile, I had become a source of info for those around who wanted to know what the songs were; every time a new song would start, people would ask me what it was! I really don't know if anyone has ever actually been able to appreciate a concert as much as I did that night: I was only 7, but had every album except the first two, and knew every song they played except maybe two or three. But what's interesting is how fans often wish they could experience how a "classic" band was 20 years prior... and this is strangely how I felt I was experiencing the show, because at my age it seemed like Queen had been around 20 years. There were parts of the show, including the stage design, that were "legendary" to me, but were only 2-3 years old in reality. Now, 20 years later, they're legendary to everyone else. Periodically, the guy next to me changed the tape in his "hidden" tape recorder. We knew the show was close to the end when "Bohemian Rhapsody" began. Everyone clapped to the pre-recorded opera section, and as the Live Killers liner notes say: "The audience and the lights take care of the rest." The crowd went nuts when Roger hit the famous gong at the end.

I think there were two or three more songs, and then everything went black for about 10 minutes. Could it be that they were actually not going to play the standard "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions/God Save the Queen" closing? The house lights may have even come on for awhile, then went back off. A few people were starting to leave, and I kept telling my mom that they had to end the concert that way, because that's the only way a Queen concert ends... but then even I was having doubts. Finally, the yellow lights around the gong all turned on, pointing directly on Roger, who started the drums of "We Will Rock You" and everyone stomped their feet and clapped. Of course "We Are the Champions" was next, and Freddie shook some of the hands flailing in front of the stage while singing it. I remember there was one hand jumping up and down that never got shook! Freddie bent his neck way back when he sang "... of the world!" at the very end like I knew he was supposed to from videos on TV, and we hoped for another song but knew that was probably going to be it. A grand finale of Queen's famous pyrotechnics began shooting everywhere from the stage, the lights were all moving around, and everyone was jumping all over in the aisles. Soon the pre-recorded Night at the Opera version of "God Save the Queen" did begin playing...but, nobody really sang to it since this is America and no one knows the words! At this point, I tried to make sure I was truly fathoming what it was like to actually see the band members in front of me since they'd be gone soon. Freddie was still dancing around and danced out a little door behind the drums, and the rest of the band followed one-by-one, with John being last as he waved to everybody one last time. The lights flickered and moved some more to the rest of the song, slowly going dark along with the rest of the arena, with the final rise of the crowd's applause. Perfect. Except for that damn mustache. We walked down what seemed like endless spiraling stairs on the way out...extremely slowly this time. My ears had that weird "ringing" feeling like everyone said I'd have, but that I'd never experienced before. Spotlights were panning the sky outside. We said goodbye to the couple we'd been with during the show. A guy in his late 20s started talking to us on the long way out; he laughed and told me how he'd also had to argue with his mom who said Queen would never come to Omaha. My mom asked him if he thought I'd even remember the whole thing since I was so little. He looked down at me, saw my grin from ear-to-ear, and said, "He'll never forget this."” - Jim

[dynamightsfave]

Hidden talent - Luke Patterson

(gif not mine! credits to owner)

AU: alive! luke patterson x oc

summary: in a world were none of the boys have died and instead live in the same timeline as julie, luke’s girlfriend has a hidden talent only her mother knows about

warnings: slight cursing, nothing much

a/n: this is the first thing that i publish, and i’m still trying to figure out how tumblr works, so if anyone reads this, please bear with me people

masterlist

***

Heather had been friends with Alex since they were in diapers. Every memory of her childhood she had, he was there too, since the beginning. The only ones she had he wasn’t in were the ones at family meetings. He was even there when she went to the dentist! That’s how tight these two were.

So it was kind of inevitable her meeting his band. Sunset Curve had been all he and Julie —her other best friend, along with Flynn— could talk about since they had started it. They had met the other members in the music program, something Heather had never even thought about joining, regardless of how many times her mother had told her she had an incredible voice and should definitely let the world listen to it. However, the raven haired girl preferred to keep her voice to herself, like her small little secret.

Meeting Luke and Reggie —she already knew Bobby— was easily one of the best things that could’ve happened to her. She hit it off with them instantly, as she had never really had any trouble with making friends —she was the sociable one out of the Heather-Alex duo, and the mom friend out of the “Triple Trouble” trio. Her and Flynn had denominated themselves as the band’s managers and marketing team, and the others had to admit, they were doing a pretty good job.

While Flynn took the social media part, promoting the band on every platform she could think of and posting stuff like teases of new songs, short rehearsal videos and performance dates and places; Heather had taken the people approach. She had recruited her cousin, Willie —who she suspected only wanted to help her because he had a massive crush on Alex, and not because he “wanted to help his favorite cousin”—, and they had both skated the streets of LA, putting up posters and throwing them around, telling people to “tell their friends!”, a catch phrase Reggie had come up with.

 [...]

“I got us a night at The Hollywood Club!” Heather entered the Molina garage with a proud smile and arms on the air, getting immediate cheers “I know, I know, I’m awesome” she bowed.

“Hey, I was there too” Willie pushed her aside, leaving his skate on a corner and plopping on the piano seat “In fact, if it wasn’t for Caleb owing me one, you wouldn’t have gotten that gig. I’m his messenger boy”

“Okay, listen you little shit, it was me that had to offer herself to clean the place up after the show, so I don’t wanna hear any more lies coming out from you” she narrowed her eyes at her cousin, but the skater only rolled his eyes.

Luke, beaming, reached out to Heather’s arm, pulling her onto the couch with him. The two had been dating for nearly three months, and anyone that didn’t know that could’ve thought they’d been together for years, just by seeing how deeply they cared for each other. Alex had been a tad overprotective of the girl when Luke started to flirt with her, but Julie and Flynn made him realize that if anyone could match Heather’s adventurous and forward personality, it was Luke.

Heather came up with an idea, something to do, and most people —including Alex, who over the years earned experience in this kind of things— would disregard it immediately, because it sounded, and most likely was, crazy. Not Luke. Luke would just smile and do it with her. Hype her up even. They found in each other a safe to talk, the craziest ideas and dreams coming to life. Still, they knew when to draw the line, and realize that maybe cliff diving in the middle of November wasn’t the best thing to do.

Luke liked to get the things he planned, make them real, and with Heather he felt like it was possible. Sure, he had the band to make his music dreams come true, but —and this can come out as shocking— he wasn’t just music. There were so many other things he wanted, and Heather was the first person that encouraged him to let them all out, the first person that listened to all the things he wasn’t as good at but he still liked, and forced him to get out of the studio to do them.

They were basically perfect for each other.

“Besides,” Flynn had pointed out with a teasing smirk and a knowing look that was also in Julie’s eyes “you’re going to end up dating her cousin, so it’ll be fair in no time” Alex had left that conversation blushing like a fool and with his mind a little more at peace.

“You’re incredible, babe” the lead guitarist kissed her cheek “When is it?”

“This Friday night” she answered, making herself comfortable in his arms “That gives you two days to rehearse some songs, maybe even come up with a new one. How’s my musical genius doing with that, Jules?”

“We have a few lyrics left on Finally Free, but I’m sure that we can have it done and perfected by Friday” she smiled, showing her adorable tooth gap “I’m gonna need to borrow your boyfriend for that, though”

“Sure, two musical geniuses work better than one. Meanwhile, Reggie and I have a date”

“Huh?” Luke’s head turned so fast, Heather thought for a second it would snap from his neck.

“Yeah, we’re going to watch the last Star Wars movie. We told you guys to come and you didn’t wanna, so we’re going by ourselves” Reggie could barely contain his excitement, the smile on his face making it impossible for Heather not to copy him.

“Speaking of which... if we don’t leave now, we’ll be late. Let’s go!” the girl pecked her boyfriend as a goodbye, ruffling Bobby’s hair after and blew a kiss to both girls and her best friend.

“I don’t get a kiss?” Willie pouted, but Heather only kissed her middle finger and flipped him off “Love you too, cuz!” he called, but Reggie and her were already out and the only response he got was his light laugh.

  [...]

The two friends were meeting Carrie Wilson at the theatre. Nobody would’ve guessed that the lead of Dirty Candy liked Star Wars, but Heather had known her since kindergarten, and she knew the girl.

They all technically knew her, being Bobby’s fraternal twin and all, but the boys didn’t consider her an actual friend until the girls started inviting her to their hang outs, seeing as they were all friends. Luke and her often had friendly bickering of which band was better, Reggie discovered that she could be a wonderful addition to the mischievous duo Heather and him had formed, and Alex found his perfect dance partner one night playing Just Dance. It was safe to say that she had been welcomed into the group.

“You guys are playing at The Hollywood Club?!” was the first thing he strawberry blond said when they arrived.

“Tell your friends!” Reggie winked, then turned to Heather “Damn, Flynn is fast. We have good managers”

“That you do, Reg” she passed her arm over his shoulders. It was a little awkward, because she stood on her tippy toes, but they made it work.

“Can you get me a performance too?” Carrie pouted and made puppy eyes “I need a marketing team like yours”

“C’mon Care, it’s literally my cousin and I in his skate and my roller skates and Flynn with a phone and Wi-Fi. You could do that too” Heather waved it off “Plus, you can have daddy make a call and you’ll be able to play at the Madison Square Garden. Shit, we could do that too, we have Bobby. Why am I putting so much effort into this?”

“You know I’m trying to earn my own spot, Heath. Being famous because my dad isn’t as satisfying as knowing I made a place sold out because they liked me and not the daughter of Trevor Wilson”

“You’re doing great, Carrie” Reggie encouraged “Your songs are good, and your dance moves are killer. People don’t just go to your shows to see if they can meet your dad”

“Thanks Reggie, but I’m pretty sure you only go to my shows to see Kayla” she smirked, and both girls watched their friend flush red.

“T-That’s not true!”

“Really? I guess I won’t give her your number then; she’ll be real disappointed”

“She asked for my number?”

But Carrie just chuckled and walked ahead with Heather by the arm, leaving the gaping boy behind for a few seconds before he snapped back into the real world and chased after them, asking the same question again.

“I’ll see what I can do for ya” Heather smiled “But you’ll have to fight Luke by yourself when he finds out I’m helping our rivals” she finished in a dark tone, laughing along with Carrie.

“Yes! You’re the best Heath!” she squeezed her in her arms.

  [...]

Friday arrived sooner than planned, and that left Flynn and Heather to get the band’s asses to the place. Flynn was on the phone with Caleb, assuring him that they were just stuck in traffic and they’d be there soon. They were actually trying to calm Alex down.

“Hey, look at me. Bird, look at me” Heather had her hands on his shoulders, doing her best to get him to breathe with her “You’re the best drummer I know-”

“I’m the only drummer you know, Feathers!” the anxious boy stressed.

“You’re the best drummer I know!” she exclaimed over him “This isn’t any different from our other gigs. You’re gonna get up on that club’s stage, and you’re gonna kill it. I’m gonna be on the side of the stage like I always am, with Flynn. I’m there if you need anything, which you won’t because once you get into the song, you’ll be crazy amazing”

“Okay, I can do this” he nodded to himself, taking deep breaths along his best friend.

“Hell yeah you can” she laughed softly “You good?”

“Yeah, I think so”

“Great, then let’s go people! We have an audience to impress!” the others, behind them, cheered with her and started to go to Ray’s van, were the instruments were waiting.

“Hey” Alex took a hold of Heather’s wrist “Thanks, Feathers” he smiled at her, using the nickname he gave her when they were three.

“I’m always gonna be there for you, Alex. You know that. I’m the Feathers to your Bird, we’re a package deal” she smiled back, then wrapped her arms around him “I love you”

“I love you too”

  [...]

Alex did amazing. Obviously.

The whole band was incredible, and the people in the club absolutely loved them. Heather had stayed at the side of the stage like she promised, but from where she stood she could spot Flynn with Carrie, Willie, Nick and Kayla all jamming and moving their bodies along to the song in their chairs. She clapped and hollered once the show was over, a huge smile adorning her face.

“You were right” the man himself, Caleb, clapped next to her “They are really good”

“I told you, dude. Any chance we’re able to play here again?”

“I’ll call you” he offered, and Heather didn’t think it twice before shaking hands with him “I’m closing in half an hour, and I want this place spotless for tomorrow” he smirked.

“I thought you were joking! You have people for that”

“A deal is a deal” and he left. Heather groaned and threw her head back.

“Why the frown, Princess?” at the voice of her boyfriend, the smile was back on her face.

Luke was a sweaty mess, not that she cared. She took a couple of seconds to admire his “after show” glow. Because yes, he was glowing —both literally, because sweat, and figuratively. After every performance, there was a glow to all of them, pure happiness radiating from them. You could see it in their smiles and heavy breaths, but Heather liked to see how their eyes glinted with the ecstasy of doing what they loved. It appeared while they were on stage, and it stayed for some time after performing in front of an audience. When they were rehearsing or jamming in the studio it was more relaxed, content, but on a show it was almost magical.

“What are you looking at?” Luke laughed after drinking some water, with his eyes squinting as he smiled out of pure glee.

Heather too his sweaty face in her hands and planted a firm kiss on his lips. She had never cared if the boy was sweaty and therefore by hugging or kissing him she’d get all dirty and smelly. If she wanted to show him affection, then she would.

“You guys killed it up there” she told him after a moment with a proud smile “Amazing, baby”

“Thanks, Heaths. Sang that solo for you” he added with a smirk, hand slipping around her waist.

“I saw” she answered as she passed her arms over his shoulders and around his neck “You looked really good while doing it too” the smirk widened and the hold tightened, bringing her closer to him to kiss her again.

“Take your lovey dovey acts somewhere else!” Bobby booed, nearing his friends.

“Hey, just because your sorry ass is alone doesn’t mean you have to hate on us” the raven haired girl replied with a teasing smile.

The boy scrunched his face and mocked her, which went back and forth between the two until Heather’s teasing and playful smile turned to a excited one.

“Wait! Oh, she’s looking again!” confused, the rhythm guitarist went to look behind him, but Heather shot her hand to stop him “Don’t look! Not yet... Okay now. See that pretty blond? She’s been eyeing you all night, dude!”

“For real? You think I should go talk to her?”

“Are you stupid? Of course you should go talk to her, did you not hear what I just said? Wait, here, clean some of this sweat” she took a towel and dabbed it over him, then pushed him forward when he didn’t move “Move, Bobs!”

“Thanks Heaths!”

The couple watched their friend jog over to the girl and introduce himself, saying something that she found funny. “I’m an amazing wing woman”

  [...]

The club was officially closed. After a couple of Caleb’s songs, that Heather had danced to with Flynn —more like they made a fool of themselves, but at least they had fun— and then she helped them put their instruments back in the van. Now, she held a mope in her hands, swinging aimlessly from side to side, humming to the band’s songs.

“I believe, I believe that we’re just one dream...” she picked up the pace of the song, closing her eyes as she jumped on top of a chair, spinning on her spot and using the mope as a micro “And we’re standing on the edge of great!”

The girl continued to sing her heart out, unaware of the pair of eyes that followed her very movement, watching the private show she put up for herself. When she finished the song, she let out a content sigh and a small chuckle.

“Woah” the word escaped Luke’s mouth before he could stop himself, causing Heather to jump and turn around.

The boy stood just by the entrance, an awestruck expression on his face. Red flushed Heather’s face, and she opened her mouth to stutter out something, but Luke didn’t let her, taking long strides to her.

“Heather, that was incredible! Why didn’t you tell us you could sing like that?”

“I usually like to keep the singing to myself, when I jam with you guys it’s quiet”

“Babe, you could be the lead singer of Sunset Curve! I’ll retire if that means you get to show everyone your voice”

“No” she quickly dismissed “Do not give up your dreams, Luke Patterson, you’re not allowed to do that. Not for me, not for anyone”

“But, Heath, your voice!” Luke was making big gestures, trying to get his point through.

He couldn’t understand how his girlfriend didn’t let anyone know of her huge talent. When he walked inside of the club again to help her, he couldn’t have imagined the scene that was playing in front of him, how she looked so carefree. She sounded like a goddess. It was a pleasant surprise, to say the least.

“I don’t like to be in the spotlight, Luke” she explained “You guys were born to perform in front of people, but I like to keep it behind closed doors. You understand that, right?” she took his hands, looking up at him through her lashes. He sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, I get it. But I really hope it’s not the last time I hear you sing” Heather laughed and shook his head, as Luke’s face lit up with an idea “Oh! You could perform for all of us in the studio! You’re cool with that, right?”

“I’ll sing with you and perform with you at the studio” she agreed, squealing when he picked her up and twirled her around “But you have to promise that if you guys record it, it won’t end up on social media”

“Of course, anything you need” he nodded quickly, bringing her lips to his “If I get to hear that voice again, I’ll even sell my guitar”

“I told you not to joke with that!” she chastised, hitting him on the chest and getting out of his hold. She rolled her eyes at his laughter and smirked to herself, handing him a piece of cloth “Make yourself useful and clean those tables, Rockstar”

Luke frowned, but complied.

He made her sing along with him in his car all the way back to his house, and suddenly realized that he had been an idiot for a long time. Why hadn’t he made her sing with him before? It was his new favorite thing to do.

[minimitchell]

callumhighwayweek day 6 - “I’m glad I met you.” (ao3 link)

.

“Ben, can you please sit down? You’re making me nervous.”

Callum watches Ben heave out a heavy breath, letting himself fall into the chair next to him. The seats they’re in are incredibly uncomfortable and sitting in them for longer periods of time makes his butt go all numb so he could use a walkabout himself, but he also doesn’t want Ben to get even more nervous than they both already are.

They’ve been here for hours now. So long that Callum has memorized every single little detail of the room by now. He can point out every crack in the walls, every pamphlet that’s a little too crooked in the display case on the far wall, can tell you all about the way the big clock’s minute hand stops right before the twelve and then has to rush to catch up again.

The baby pink of the walls around them doesn’t prove to be quite as soothing as he thinks the NHS would’ve hoped it would be, and as soon as Ben’s back in his seat, he starts shaking his leg up and down in nervous anticipation.

When they first got here nearly four hours ago, they had thought it wouldn’t be a long wait. After an hour with no new developments, Callum got up to get them both some coffee, what with it nearing one in the morning at that point. It tasted like shit but at least they felt marginally more awake afterwards.

It’s more the nerves keeping them awake anyways. The uncertainty is hard to wade through and now, after three more hours of complete standstill, Ben’s nerves are completely fried. To an outsider Callum is probably looking much calmer than Ben is but that really isn’t the case at all. He keeps wringing his hands together, twisting and turning the white gold band sitting on his left ring finger.

At first, they kept having to send texts to the few family members that decided to stay up with them. But as the clock passed two in the morning, Ben told his mum to go to bed with the promise that they’d call if they had any news.

Callum is beginning to think they could still be hours away from that though.

“God, I hate waiting. Not knowing what’s happening, it’s driving me insane.”

Callum reaches over to lay one of his hands on Ben’s knee, stilling the bouncing with one well-placed touch. He’s so incredibly thankful he’s had Ben next to him these last few months but right now his husband does nothing to calm Callum’s own nerves.

He’d even go as far as saying he wouldn’t have made it without him but he knows the same goes for Ben. Thank god they had each other through it all; always alternating between who’s the nervous one and who’s calming the other.

“I know, babe. You’re the most impatient person I know. And that includes Lexi.”

It’s definitely true. Ben’s never been good at the whole patience and waiting on things aspect of life but it’s not like they were able to speed things up with this whether they wanted to or not; bound to a mixture of science and nature from start to finish.

He’s gotten better over the years though. Callum likes to think him and Lexi have done wonders in smoothing out many of Ben’s rougher edges and he’s definitely better than he was years ago when they met - in almost every aspect of his life.

As is Callum, needless to say.

“At least we know she’s alright. They’d tell us if something was wrong, right?”

“Of course they would.”

Callum didn’t think he’d be this nervous when the time finally came but the second they got the phone call last night he’d started panicking. They might’ve had over six months to actively prepare for this moment but now that it’s actually happening, it’s even scarier than Callum ever imagined it would be.

Because this is about his baby, their baby, being born a few rooms away from here.

They had started talking about it a little after getting married and moving into their own place. Callum loves the little family of three they had before they decided to have another kid, but he couldn’t stop the wish of his own child with Ben slowly brewing in his chest. It kept festering until he just blurted it out one day at lunch, much to Ben’s surprise.

After that, it was mostly about figuring out if they can afford it, about what their options are and whether they feel ready to have a baby. It wasn’t an easy journey but now, over one and a half years later, they’re finally here; finally about to meet their little girl.

Ben tangles their fingers together on his thigh, squeezing Callum’s hand in his. It’s his own personal way of letting Callum know he needs him right now, so he pulls Ben into his chest, letting him tuck his head under Callum’s chin. His free hand comes to rest on Callum’s stomach, gripping the hoodie he’s thrown on before they drove to the hospital.

“Bit mad, innit. That we got here, how we got here.”

It brings a smile to his lips, because it really is a bit mad. How they went from being at each other’s throat to happily married. How Callum went from being so deeply closeted to expecting a baby with his husband. It’s crazy to think how much his life has changed since he moved to Walford - and that’s mostly down to the man right next to him.

“Hm. I wouldn’t have believed it when we first kissed.”

Internalized homophobia and denial aside, Callum doesn’t think he would’ve ever thought Ben Mitchell was the type to settle down and get married. And Callum wouldn’t have thought he would settle down with Ben either, not at that time at least, but here they both are. Ben likes to call it a happy coincidence but to Callum it’s nothing less than fate.

“Some night that was, eh.”

“First night I felt really free.”

Ben shifts under him, turning his head so he can look up into Callum’s eyes, face soft and eyes gentle as he regards Callum. They’ve talked a lot about that night during the course of their relationship. About what it meant for them respectively, how it basically kickstarted Callum’s coming out, how it was the start of Ben slowly falling for him.

They don’t need to hash it out again but it’s always nice to remember how much that night meant to both of them; how much it still means even after years of making memories together.

“You freed me too. Saved me from myself, didn’t you.”

Ben’s finger keeps running over the cold metal of Callum’s ring, gliding from left to right and back again. Callum has noticed him doing that a lot, when they’re laying in bed at night or lounging on the couch in front of the TV, their hands tangled together and fingers dancing over each other’s skin almost absentmindedly.

The meaning behind the gesture makes him emotional every time he sees Ben doing it. It almost feels like Ben does it to remind himself that this is real; that they’re joined for life because they truly love each other.

Suddenly, it becomes the most important thing to let Ben know he does.

“Love you.”

Ben’s expression softens even further, leaning up a little to press a soft, chaste kiss to Callum’s lips. Callum runs his forefinger over the soft skin of Ben’s throat and up his chin, dropping his hand again when Ben leans back down.

It still knocks Callum for six to know that Ben is his; that he gets to share his life with this man, have a family with him and make him happy every single day of their life. He’s been supportive of every choice Callum makes and it hasn’t been any different with this.

There were a lot of nights sleep hadn’t found Callum because he was too busy worrying about being a dad to a newborn baby. He hadn’t come into Lexi’s life until she was already her own little person, how could they be sure he won’t mess their kid up. Ben had heard him out each and every time though, had reassured him that he was a natural dad and promised him they would figure this all out together.

It’s only because of Ben he feels ready to be here.

Ready to finally hold his baby girl in his arms.

“You can take a quick nap if you want. I’ll wake you if anything happens.”

As if on cue, a tired yawn claws itself out of Ben’s mouth and he drops his head back down onto Callum’s chest, nose buried in the soft, grey fabric of Callum’s hoodie. It’s past four o’clock now and they haven’t slept a bit since getting up for work yesterday morning, but he also knows that Ben is as stubborn as ever and there’s no way he’ll go to sleep now - not when they’re waiting with bated breath for their baby.

“Don’t wanna. Just wanna see our baby. I wanna know if she has your cute nose and your pretty dimples. God, I hope she has your eyes.”

“I hope she has yours. Hopefully your ears as well.”

Their laughter is barely audible in the waiting room, just soft huffs shared in the little space between them. They didn’t want to know who the biological father is going to be; it didn’t matter to them. Besides, speculating is too much fun anyway. And really, as long as their baby is happy and healthy, it doesn’t matter to them.

“I’m glad I met you. I’m glad we can sit here today, even if we’re both dead tired, and wait for our baby to be born. Glad we got here in the end.”

He can feel Ben press a kiss to his chest, squeezing the hands still linked together on Ben’s thigh to let Callum know he feels the same way. They don’t need words, they never did.

“Mr. and Mr. Mitchell?”

They look over at the nurse at the same time, Ben’s head darting up from Callum’s chest and straightening his back. The woman has a kind smile on her face and just seeing her after the many hours of waiting they’ve done already, calms something in Callum’s stomach.

“Yeah?”

“Are you ready to meet your new baby?”

The big smile on her face must be mirrored on both his and Ben’s as well and she waits for them to get up from their seats before she beckons them to follow her down the corridor. Callum sees Ben blow out a deep breath beside him and he reaches his hand back out to him, smiling when their hands clasp back together like two magnets finding one another.

He can feel his heart hammering inside his chest, the nervousness coming back to him full force all of a sudden, but he knows it’s going to be alright as long as Ben is by his side.

It always is.

[utterlyinevitable]

Ode and Ethan are so cute together, my heart could burst 💓

More questions coming your way

Who says I love you first? How long into the relationship? How does it happen?

How far into the relationship do they move in together?

How do they celebrate Ethans 40th?

Whats the most special gift they have given each other?

What do they love most about each other? Do they have any pet peeves?

Do they always work together? Does Ode surpass Ethan in the medical world?

Did E make up with Louise in this universe? Of so what does she think of Ode?

♥️

> ask me anything <

Yay! Okay here we go!!!!!

So my initial reaction is... neither of them actually ever says it. They feel it and they’re secure enough to just know. They have this little head jerk and eyebrow raise that basically is their way of saying “i love you” which they do all the time. Just a silent recognition without giving too much away to those around them. But eventually like 10ish months into it it’s said out loud as an off shoot. Wasn’t meant to come out but it did ever so naturally. 

How it comes out? ...................... this literally took me three days to figure out:

Ode says it first. On a phone call. She didn’t mean to say it, it just slipped out with her goodbye of “alright. love you. bye”. She didn’t even realize she said it until hours later when she was replaying the conversation, mentally checking off that she has all the things they agreed upon before she heads home.

After residency Ode and all her friends go separate ways so she needs to move into a smaller apartment. Ethan extended an offer to stay with him for a while until she finds a place (with the subtext of forever), even saying she could have the second bedroom since it’s been practically hers anyway. But Ode diplomatically declined; they’ve only been together for five months and she’s still so fearful that they’re going to fuck this up somehow. They’ve only just started having sex. So she gets herself her first solo place with one bedroom in the same neighborhood near the hospital. 

They move in together when her 16 month lease is up. By then there wasn’t a doubt in her mind anymore. She loved her little third floor walk up and the independence that came with it, but nothing could beat the views at Ethan’s place, and it’s always felt a little bit like home.

So Ethan’s 40th happens before they get together. And true to form he doesn’t want to do a damn thing. But “40 is practically mid life crisis territory and he’s due for a breakdown” (as Jackie put it). So Ode, Sienna and Kyra work together to plan the most elaborate single person party. Because Ethan is such a devout patron of the arts, BOH (after much southern belle pitching from o and k) agree to perform an abridged version of Ethan’s favorite opera at their small rehearsal theatre. Sienna makes a majority of the dinner, all Ethan’s proclaimed favorites for meal, cocktail and dessert. Ode is on getting him to actually turn up. He knows she’s planning something and wants no part of it but goes along because this is “payback for my birthday”. He’s absolutely confused as to why they’re driving out of Boston.

In the atrium is set up as a cocktail hour with a handful of Ethan’s close friends and his dad - the people who want to celebrate him. 40 minutes later the people clear out and it’s just Ode and Ethan (siennas waiting on standby to drive ode home) making their way into the performance area where there’s dinner and dessert under a klosh at a single solitary table. Ethan’s speechless As ode explains the scene they’ve walked into. He sits, she pours him a drink, says happy birthday as the music of the show starts to play and goes to leave.

“You’re not staying?”

“You said you wanted to be alone.”

“Alone and at home. Not alone watching ten people perform.”

She shoots him a look and Ethan stands to look for a second chair.

“Siennas waiting to drive me home.”

“Tell her to join. It’s the least I can do since she made much too much food for one human.”

The three of them have a lovely evening. And if Ethan wasn’t fully cognizant of the fact he loves her, he sure as hell is now. Who else would do this? For him???

The most special gift Ode’s gotten from Ethan is the keyboard. Figuring out her feelings and falling for Ethan was a great inspiration to get her to start writing again. Much to some of her roommates dissatisfaction when the girl forgot to plug headphones in at stupid o’clock.

His most prized gift actually wasn’t something she’s gotten him - over the years she’s given him make shift things, ties and cufflinks, books but nothing as special as what her dad gave him when they visited him for the first time as a couple. It was a small photo album of ode from her teen years and through college. He didn’t even recognize her in a few - sitting on a table in ripped skinny jeans with wild hair and a guitar on her lap. She’s looking at the camera out of the corner of her eyes - singing something with mouth wide open and corners turned in a smile. There’s a spark in her eyes he recognizes but the one he knows it miles duller. He likes this side of her. Wonders what happened. And wants to make her feel like that happy go lucky girl every day for the rest of forever.

Ethan loves her compassion and level-headedness when it matters, and ofc that she has so many skills and talents he keeps uncovering. Wants to spend the rest of his life finding out about. He also really loves the creases at the corner of her eyes. She won’t agree they’re crows feet - she’s much too young for that atm. But he loves them because they make her eyes all the more expressive.

Ode loves his intelligence but also his gentleness. Once you get past that coarse, jaded Ramsey front he’s such a soft bean. She likes how they can talk for hours or just sit in companionable silence. There’s no expectations that need to be fulfilled with him outside of work and it’s the healthiest relationship she’s been in.

They both hate how stubborn the other can be. He hates how she leaves teabags all over the kitchen when the garbage is right there. She hates how anal he is about cleanliness and clutter. But how he can’t seem to get all his socks in the hamper - there’s always some hiding around back.

No, they don’t always work together. Ode is on the DT for another year before getting a research opportunity to write about the most interesting cases they’ve come across, alongside Ethan. He declined the title credit, but helped with the research. She dedicated her first book to him.

The more recognition she started to get in the medical world press, the more people uncovered her musical past. It was a bit jarring to have to talk about that small part of her life when she gave a keynote on new technologies in diagnostics medicine for the digital age. So much so that she got a call from her publishing house and SESAC. Basically to push her to do a one-off gig and see if she’s interested in remastering and a couple synch and derivative deals. Her first response was ‘i’m really busy and it’s been over a decade’. But after aimlessly wandering around their apartment and eventually sitting down to play, fighting a war within her, Ethan pushes her to do it. 

She certainly surpasses Ethan in the medical world, but not for the reasons he’s known for. She ends up marrying her love of music with medicine and becomes a viral sensation. A new-age doctor for the on-demand generations. 

No, I don’t think he does make up with Louise. not really. Ethan’s cordial but doesn’t want anything else to do with her. He doesn’t became a brat when Alan brings her up, though. He respects his dad enough - with the help of Ode - to pretend to be a three-piece family. Ode actually told Ethan that it probably isn’t a good idea that he brings her to rehab - she suggested scheduling a therapy session at the rehab to try and work things through when everyone’s minds have had time to settle. Ethan told her he’d rather rip the band-aid off so they drive her together.

Louise is skeptical - she doesn’t like the idea of someone influencing her son. Yeah, the girl is pretty but who tf is she? Alan says Ethan’s been single and no chance of dating as he’s much too restless for that. Months after being released from rehab and sticking around the Providence-area, Louise tries to get back in contact. She has a job and she’s been clean ever sense. She and Alan talk every now and then but no chance of repairing the family. Louise is there for lunch when Ode and E drive up for the weekend. It’s a whole rush of emotions for E again, and Ode is oddly hopeful, wanting to make the best of the situation. Louise sees the way the ramsey men look at her and she has no choice but to get on board.

as always, thank you for these. I love them and you so so much ♥️

[miraculousandbts]

BTS | AMAs

P.S. The story is in y/n's perspective. Just because I wanted to.

Summary: You get your first big nomination, but you just had to stumble into a very handsome stranger.

Pairing: OT7 X Reader (Platonic)

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2.2k

Warning: Reader’s train of thought goes crazy every once in a while. I feel like this should be a warning.

I was hugging my manager and jumping in circles with her, as a way of expressing my happiness. Ashley was not only my manager, but also one of my closest friends, always supporting me and believing in me since the start. Both of us were ecstatic with the news, and this was our way of showing it. Aside from jumping, we both were also screaming very loudly. I had never been so thankful for having a house near the forest area without neighbours.

Oh, wait! I never introduced myself; how rude of me. (Yes, I was thinking about the Thea Stilton books...) I'm y/n, a singer and songwriter. I live in LA. Me and Ash were just watching the American Music Awards nominations, and we just couldn't control our excitement when they took my name. This was my first nomination for an award. It wouldn't be that big of a deal for an experienced artist or someone who has been in the industry for long, but I'm still a rookie, debuting only two years ago.

Me and Ashley finally calmed down when a very startled guard came in and told us that we screamed so loud that he saw bats fly away from deep inside the forest. We sheepishly apologised, and decided to go to sleep. I had been recording a song the whole day, while she had been busy with manager duties, so we both were exhausted. I had actually known her for the last four years, and she often stayed over. So often, in fact, that my guest room had become 'Ashley's Room' very quickly.

After bidding each other happy good nights, we both went to bed in our respective rooms, falling asleep speedily.

*****

Taylor was applying my makeup, while I sat in the stiff makeup chair. This had been going on for the past hour, despite me telling her that I wanted light makeup and a simple dress. Instead, she and my stylist Ben decided to go against my wishes for once. Ben had prepared an extravagant dress too fancy even for a royal ball, and I was thankful it wasn't pink or blue or yellow; I absolutely did not want to look like a princess, that just wouldn't be me. Taylor kept on applying a little too much makeup on my face for my liking. She was very talented, so at least I was sure I wouldn't look bad.

Right now, she was working on my eye makeup, expertly putting on eyeliner and...something. I'm not good with this stuff. Taylor's assistant, whose name I always forgot, was painting my nails. I looked at her working. She was a pro at this. She smoothly glided the brush over my nails, effortlessly painting them purple, and then decorating them. She used as less materials as possible, knowing I hated it when even my nails felt heavy; my face was enough.

After two more hours of torture, I was finally ready. I looked breathtaking, but if I had an option, I would still go with something lighter. After another hour of sitting in the limo, we were finally there.

I got out, and there were cameras in my face. All I saw were purple blotches, because the camera men couldn't use their brains enough to shut off the flash. Or maybe those cameras didn't have an option to shut off the flash.

Anyway, I struck a few poses, blew some kisses, and walked ahead. And then I saw Dan. He was a reporter for such gigs, and I often did short interviews with him. He wasn't like the others; he didn't ask about rumours or made new ones, he didn't ask controversial questions to increase their channel's TRP.

I gave him a grin and walked towards him.

"Hey, Dan."

"Y/n! Looking beautiful as always."

"Oh, you flatter me." I kept a hand on my chest.

"Okay, stop with the over dramatics, girlie." You grinned.

He motioned his cameraman to start recording. I tuned out the whole introduction, and focused when he asked me a question, the said question being how was I feeling about being here even though it hadn't been long since my debut. "It's all thanks to my fans. I love making music, and I believe that if you do something with true passion, you will be successful. I guess this is destiny's way of showing me that what I'm doing is right. And not gonna lie, it feels like I've been feeling like I'm on a sugar rush since the nominees were announced, because of the adrenaline."

After some more questions and smiles, I finally went in.

I was too focused on not tripping on my own feet because of the long dress, so the first thing I did after entering was bump into someone. Great! I wasn't even surprised anymore, knowing how I was. "I am so sorry!" I looked up with wide eyes, only to meet kind brown ones. It took me a second to register that he wasn't alone, six other men behind him. They seemed familiar. I could tell they were from east Asia. I glanced at all of them, and then looked at him, apologising again.

"It is okay." He had a cute accent to his English, and I internally smiled, not only because of his accent, but also because he wasn't mad. I must've smiled in relief, because he looked amused. Now that I was looking at him properly, he was handsome, with a capital H. Little round face, pretty eyes, cute boop-able nose. And then he smiled. And then I died. It was the cutest smile I had ever seen!

Thankfully, I wasn't the kind of gal who would stand there checking him out. All of this took me a second, and I excused myself after thanking him.

*****

"Oh, hey!" I heard a smooth deep voice as soon as I sat down. I looked to my side and found one of the friends of the man I had bumped into earlier. I was right, my brain didn't forget. I smiled a small smile. "Hey."

Extending my hand towards him the old fashioned way, introduced myself. "Y/n."

He shook my hand, seemingly unfazed by my apparent childish behaviour. "Kim Namjoon, more commonly known as RM."

That's when it clicked. RM. K-Pop. BTS. My eyes must've widened; I was always terrible at hiding my emotions. "Everything okay?" He brought me out of my stupor. "Uh, yeah. Just, when I stumbled into one of you guys before, you all seemed familiar, I just couldn't place your faces anywhere." I replied honestly. "Oh." He simply leaned back into his chair and nodded.

"So, in which category are you nominated?" He continued.

"Top social artist. You?"

"Same. It'll be a four year streak for us if we win again."

"Ooh, really. Well then, I hope you win."

"Don't you want to win?"

"Coming here already feels like a dream. I don't think I can handle the adrenaline if I do win."

"So basically you want us to win for completely selfish purposes, huh?"

You both laughed at that remark, and continued making small talk for a while. Then he said he had to use the washroom. I hummed in his direction, and as soon as he got up, I saw the guy I had ran into in the chair next to his.

He had noticed Namjoon getting up too, so he was looking on my direction. He grinned at me, and sat in Namjoon's chair. "Hello."

"Hey."

"I am sorry. My English is not that good. Only Namjoon speaks English." He sheepishly rubbed his neck. "Why are you apologising for that?" I was genuinely curious. It was okay to not know perfect English. Even though I was a native English speaker, I still made mistakes. Everyone did. And the said language wasn't even his first language. "At the entrance, I wanted to talk."

"Oh. Well, You should have, I don't judge because of stuff like this." He smiled at that. "I will introduce you to them." He gestured to his band mates who were very engrossed in the show. Before he could do that, I interrupted him. "Hey, sorry. I haven't been in the industry for long, and I've only ever heard your guys' name, so...I only know RM and V? Is that right? So, yeah, I don't know your name."

I cursed at myself internally. Way, to go y/n! So damn awkward. He must've sensed my hesitation, because all he did was offer me his hand. Ooh, the old fashioned way. Good to know I wasn't the only one.

"Suga."

"Y/n." I shook his hand. Namjoon came back at that moment and him and Suga said something to each other in Korean. Wait, Suga? That does not sound right. Oh, right! It must be his stage name.

And then I facepalmed. Literally. I didn't think before my hand met my forehead. I must've made a pretty loud smack, because both of them were now looking at me like I was some weirdo. I sighed and slowly hid my face in my hands. "These kind of things always happen to me..." I mumbled.

I looked up when I heard them chuckling. I pouted, but I knew they could see the relief on my face that they didn't think of me like I was demented. "Don't worry, we've been living with these guys for the past eight years, these kind of things don't faze us anymore." Namjoon gestured to the other guys, who were still oblivious to their surroundings, absorbed in the performances.

I let out a breathy chuckle at the fact that they were so openly dissing their own friends. Namjoon, by now, was seated in the chair in which Suga was previously sitting in.

"So, I refuse to believe that Suga is your real name. And I would rather be literal friends with you guys, rather than two artists who just know each other."

"Yoongi. Min Yoongi." The way he said it reminded me of how Geronimo Stilton introduced himself. 'Why my brain has to go down completely random memory lanes is beyond me...and why am I thinking about a kid's book series?'

Within the next hour, I had been introduced to the other guys, and all of us were conversing about anything and everything. Seokjin was very happy that I was loving his dad jokes, Hoseok was a little too excited about my proposal of shooting a dance cover on one of mine or their songs, Jimin, Taehyung and me got along very well, as we were all the same age, and Jungkook had offered to teach me boxing, after I expressed my wish to learn it.

All in all, I was getting along very well with them. They were fun to be with, and it was absolutely adorable how they sometimes got flustered over their mistakes while talking. After the fun night ended, I congratulated them on their win, and went home, completely exhausted.

*****

"Noona!" Jungkook was the first to notice me. With wide eyes and a happy grin, he came to hug me. I had decided to surprise the boys by coming to Korea. Right now, I was standing in their dance studio. Even after four years, we were still going strong. It felt like now I had four elder brothers, two twins, and a kid. '...that was a terrible reference...god, please tell me what is wrong with me.'

Soon, all the boys came to hug me, though I tried running away to avoid their sweaty hugs, but Jungkook held me at one place, while I tried to squirm away. I should've just waited in their dorm.

"Kookie!" All I got in reply was a mischievous giggle. He really was a baby. Later that day, a collaboration between us was confirmed, and I couldn't have been happier.

Geronimo Stilton and Thea Stilton might be kids’ books, but they’re still the best!! Change my mind, I dare you.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

another unsolicited relationship advice post:

okay. i know that there’s probably thousands of relationship advice posts on here. but anyway. to my younger followers, if i have any:

if anyone that you’ve just met declares that you’re “girlfriend material” or “boyfriend material” and that you must simply meet their parents NOW! or some other ridiculously short interval (like a week say), instead of, idek, like a month or two into your relationship, know that that is a possible red flag for trying to push the relationship too fast.

i say this as again, bc on some buzzfeed fb post about supposed “nice guys” i commented about my high school stalker/creeper from 2012/2013. who, when i first met him in 2012 at public school, he insisted that after two days of knowing him that i simply “have to meet my (his) mum and my sisters right now! bc you’re girlfriend material and i LOVE you!”

like woah! dude! i’ve known you for a grand total of two fucking days! i absolutely don’t have to meet your family RIGHT NOW (although if i’d ever been stupid enough to actually date my stalker back then, i would’ve had to meet his mum or one of his 4 sisters/all of them at once; at some point anyway…. bc they would’ve had to drive us to dates etc bc neither of us had our Ps (provisional drivers licence here in aus) yet at the time)). because i’m pretty sure the normal window is about 1-2 months? maybe 3-4 months? why the fuck are you so obsessed with the term “girlfriend material”??? what the actual FUCK does that EVEN mean?? get away from me. bc this isn’t love. it’s something else, that i can’t put my finger on.

compare this to clear braces boy from catholic school, who literally took almost 3 years to ask me out; and to even ask for my number. when he’d finally asked for my number right before one set of the winter holidays at the end of term 2/before the start of term 3 in 2010, i was so oblivious as to why he wanted my number…. when he’d never wanted it/asked for it before.

so when he called me, while i was still on the bus home from school, i was panicking like “OH FUCK THATS WHY HE WANTED MY NUMBER!!! HE WANTS TO ASK ME OUT!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!! WHY THE FUCK AM I SO SLOW AND FUCKING DUMB???!!!” he never pressured me to meet his parents (although at 14/15 it was very obvious that that was a standard practice since we couldn’t drive ourselves anywhere lmao). we were basically on equal footing, except for my slowness with cottoning onto him asking me out and why he asked for my number lol.

CBB had never pressured and harassed me about my virginity. he had NEVER harassed me with porn, most especially while at school, unlike mr creeper who LOVED pulling out his porn filled phone and school laptop to show me his overly violent, degrading and aggressive porn. CBB’s flirting method was showing me norwegian black metal bands (or normal metal bands like parkway drive) and making me watch repeats of family guy on his ipod at lunch bc he loved family guy. he never brought up the term “girlfriend material” ever. he treated me like an actual person. and not his own personal fuck doll, that had holes that were conveniently for sticking his useless and clueless ass teenage dick in, again unlike creeper who was hellbent on wanting to act out his favourite violent etc porn on me to let him “take your virginity in a wonderful weekend of sex down the coast and you have to do all things that I LIKE BC THAT’S THAT AND I SAID SO!!!” 🤮🤮. although if i had progressed further than those few weeks with cbb, and my constant *karen from mean girls voice* *fake cough, fake cough* i’m sick *regina george voice* boo, you whore!” act every time i didn’t turn up on date that he’d asked me on…. maybe he could’ve treated me like that. but i’ll never know lol.

so cbb was unlike mr stalker; who was obsessed with my supposed “girlfriend material” status. mr stalker was obsessed with the fact that i had the ability and audacity to basically tell him “no”, by coyly letting him down with “my dad says i can’t date bc it distracts me from school and getting good marks 🙄😑” (which probably wasn’t true, looking back lmao)….. where he then whined PUBLICLY on facebook about it, with a status like “today sucks”… and then naming and shaming me in the comments when someone asked in the post comments what was wrong like: “*insert my name here* said no! she’s being a bitch!”. that at the time, made me roll my eyes and still does today when i think about it. because bro. i had literally only known you for two fucking days at that point. of course i’m going to say no. what the hell??? two days is nowhere near enough time to know a person well enough (although the conversation we had together on misguided trip to his house one day while we were wagging (skipping class/playing hooky for americans) aboriginal studies told me MORE THAN ENOUGH about his piece of shitness tbh) to “date” them imo.

because to me, the title “girlfriend material” doesn’t mean any fucking thing. but when it comes from a creep like mr stalker; it means “you’ll be my girlfriend forever and have my kids bc you’re such a nice girl and you’ll fix me bc that’s what nice girls like you do; bc you’re SO LOYAL AND NICE!” which i also saw as a MASSIVE RED FLAG back then, because we were literally 16yo kids (he literally told me this when we were on his bed in his bedroom in the aforementioned misguided trip to his house). and i also saw it as a red flag bc…. just because i’m “loyal” and “nice” doesn’t mean that i’ll spend LITERAL Y E A R S trying to “fix you” while you fuck around and never bother to change your behaviour all bc you think it’s “girly” to do just that. it definitely DOES NOT MEAN that i’ll have KIDS with you, what the actual fuck. like i’m a hopeless romantic, to an extent, mr creeper. but not to the extent where i’ll give myself up to someone like you, all because i’m “nice and caring” and it’s apparently what “nice girls do!!!” or whatever else fucked up guilt trip views you’ve got on why girls/women supposedly have to waste their time with and on you.

and also, on another front. CBB never FOLLOWED me home (considering he lived in a suburb 20mins away from mine lmao and we both lived at least 15mins away from the catholic school we attended) despite me telling him REPEATEDLY to “fuck off and walk home your way”….. whereas unfortunately, mr creeper lived just over the other side of my suburb.

so one day mr creeper decided to stalk me home (despite me saying the above “fuck off and walk home your way” comment constantly to him in the 10min walk home). and then when we got to my street and in front of my house he decided to joke that “oh now i know where your house and bedroom are, i’ll come to hide under your bed naked one day!!!! and when you get home (bc i’ll obvs do it when you’re out doing something), you’ll just have to FUCK ME because you’ll be so surprised that im there and ready to fuck you!” as if i’d be so overcome with supposed lust & love for him, after knowing that he’d broken into my room against my will and messed with my shit….. all for some cutesy love prank…. like in, idk, love actually (???) or himym (specifically the “naked man!” episode from season 4) or some other shitty romcom. bc no. you’re overstepping SO MANY fucking boundaries that i’d literally call the police on your stupid fucking stalker ass. what the actual fuck.

finally, cbb never forced me to try to kiss him, unlike mr stalker…. who whenever he got the chance, he’d grab my head and force me to kiss him…. and then gave me back the utterly disgusting & controlling GALL to tell me that i was “kissing wrong” and whinge/bitch that i “wasn’t into it”. and then he’d force me to kiss him again with a “im so sorry does this fix it 🥰🥺???” like NO???!!! forcefully kissing me DOES NOT FUCKING FIX ANYTHING YOU STUPID CUNT! please just get the FUCK away from me. like if you force me into anything, of course i’m not going to enthusiastically enjoy it??? and moreover, don’t you think it’s YOU who is “kissing wrong” (whatever the FUCK that bullshit actually means) and not me???? why do you think GRABBING MY HEAD and FORCING me to kiss you is appropriate in ANY of these situations????

just. to end this. to anyone and everyone, regardless of their gender/sexuality/age etc. NEVER trust anyone who uses the term “girlfriend material”/“boyfriend material”, to describe you, most especially when you’ve JUST MET them.

they’re using it as a means to control you and possibly trap you into an unhealthy (or potentially abusive) relationship like i would’ve had with my stalker/creeper. but most especially, this goes out to my younger followers, if i have any. be aware of this. watch out for the small red flags and run at the earliest time.